Pedophilia is the technical name for women who derive intense sexual pleasure from young boys. At first, the idea of an older woman seeking out a young boy as a sexual partner seems almost like a joke. We have all heard of gigolos who make their living by having intercourse with older women, and the idea is distasteful to some.
However, upon closer examination of this idea, we come up with some startling facts.
In his Sexual Behavior in the Human Female, Dr. Alfred Kinsey made the interesting discovery that almost everyone in our society is sexually mismatched!
According to Kinsey, the ideal partner for a thirty-five year old woman would be a seventeen year old boy. And, at the same time, the ideal partner for a thirty-five year old man is a seventeen year old girl!
The reason for this is quite simple. A woman of thirty-five is at the height of her sexual interest and power. So is a seventeen year old boy. For this reason, for sexual reasons alone, an older woman looking for a lover would have a better chance at sexual fulfillment if she chose a much younger man.
Pedophilia, although going through a revival which we will go into later, is certainly not a new idea.
Years ago, it was standard practice among certain classes for a father to make sure that his son got a good sexual start. This was accomplished quite simply. As soon as a boy arrived at puberty, the father would take him to a prostitute--an older woman who would show the boy the ropes, so to speak.
It is interesting to note that this was not true only in America. In many cultures it is still standard practice for a young boy to be tutored in sex by an older woman.
Today, pedophilia is on the upswing. The reason for this is quite simple. In our new climate of sexual freedom, women, both older and younger, are beginning to realize that they have as much right as a man to sexual satisfaction.
Of course, an older woman who is married turns to her husband and more or less demands good sex. However, at his age, he may lack both the inclination and ability to respond. As a result, the woman will seek out a younger man or boy to satisfy her.
An older unmarried woman will probably begin her search for satisfying sex with men her own age. But eventually, she will reach the same conclusion as her married sisters and search out younger boys.
Is this in any way harmful ? There is a great deal of disagreement among psychiatrists and behavioral scientists on this point. One school of thought believes that an encounter with an older woman may cause a lasting effect of distorted sex in the boy.
However, many other doctors and scientists believe that if there is any lasting effect at all, it is a good one. They believe that sexual initiation by an experienced woman can produce a better attitude towards sex in the long run. Many young men and women have disastrous first experiences which can warp their sexual feelings for life. And the reason for this is usually because neither the boy or the girl is exactly sure just what to do.
Naturally, it is impossible to generalize about the effect that pedophilia may have on a boy, or on the woman that he is involved with. Each situation is different, and so the eventual effect of the affair depends largely on how it was conducted.
CHAPTER ONE - THE BORED HOUSEWIFE
We hear a great deal today about the problems and frustrations of women everywhere. The housewife is particularly susceptible to all kinds of problems, and one of her greatest problems is boredom.
This is especially true of the older woman whose children no longer demand a great deal of attention. For many years, a woman may find herself being a maid, cook, chauffeur, tutor, and a host of other things. Then, suddenly, the children are gone and the woman has nothing to do.
But what about her husband? After many years of marriage, the couple may not even be communicating at all. How many times have we heard a man or woman describe his spouse as "an old shoe?"
The husband may see no reason why his wife should be discontented. He may say that he gives her everything that she wants, provides for her, and takes care of her. However, this may not be enough for the woman.
In The Second Sex, Simone de Beauvoir describes how many husbands feel about their wives.
"A husband regards none of his wife's good qualities as particularly meritorious; they are guaranteed by society, they are implied by the institution of marriage itself, he fails to realize that his wife is no character from some pious and conventional treatise, but a real individual of flesh and blood; he takes for granted her fidelity to the strict regimen she assumes, not taking into account that she has temptations to vanquish, that she may yield to them, that in any case her patience, her chastity, her propriety, are difficult conquests;... " The bored housewife, unlike her liberated sister who will be discussed later, usually finds herself attracted to and perusing young boys with a passion that seems quite out of her control.
In many ways, trying to find a young lover is a desperate step for a bored, lonely housewife. She no longer has her youth, her children who were her main purpose in life have fled, and her husband is not interested in her. She may feel age creeping up on her, and decide that she needs one last fling, to find the exciting kind of life that she has heard and read about, but has missed.
CASE HISTORY
Monica R., an attractive blonde in her late thirties, became involved with Walt, an attractive sixteen year old boy. After several months, her husband discovered the affair and insisted that Monica receive counseling. (Source: Primary research.) Interviewer: Tell me, Monica, what first made you become involved with Walt?
Monica: Oh, I'm not really sure. I had a hell of a lot of time on my hands, for one thing. My kids were gone--my daughter got married and my son is away at school. There was just nothing to do.
Interviewer: What about your relationship with your husband?
Monica: John? We really didn't have one then. I mean, we hardly ever talked at alt.
Interviewer: What about your sexual relationship with him?
Monica: Oh, once in a while he'd get horny and climb into my bed. Then he'd fuck me. But it wasn't very often, and it never lasted very long.
Interviewer: Then I take it you were dissatisfied with the way he made love to you.
Monica: You bet I was. I mean, it was always the same thing. He'd get into bed and kind of start rubbing my back. Just as soon as he did that, I knew I was in for it. Then he'd quickly take my nightgown off, and suck on my tits for just a little while.
Interviewer: Did that excite you?
Monica: Sure it did. I mean, I couldn't help it. My snatch started to fill up then, get all creamy and juicy and ready for him. And he knew it. Just as soon as I was good and wet, he'd get on top of me and shove it in.
Interviewer: Did you have a climax?
Monica: Oh, once in a while. But most of the time, he was in too much of a hurry getting his own rocks off to worry about me. You know, he'd ram it home a dozen times or so and then cream. That always felt nice, all that hot juice flooding into my cunt.
Interviewer: Did you ever discuss the fact that you weren't happy with his performance as a lover?
Monica: You mean with him?
Interviewer: That's right.
Monica: Look, I don't think you get the picture. We didn't talk about anything. Oh, once in a while he'd ask me to make him some kind of special thing for dinner, but that was about it.
Interviewer: I see. Was your marriage always like that?
Monica: Hell, no. In the beginning, it was just great.
Interviewer: Why don't you tell us about that?
Monica: Okay, but please don't interrupt.
Interviewer: All right.
"In the beginning, everything was just terrific. I met John when we were both eighteen. Before then, I hadn't had too much experience with boys. Not that they didn't chase me, but my folks were pretty damned strict.
"That was before the days of all this sexual freedom. Things were so different then. A nice girl didn't wear make-up or date until she was at least eighteen.
"Not that we didn't think a lot about sex anyway. There were girls who had gone bad, and everyone knew about them. You could tell who they were by the way they walked. Of course, now that seems pretty dumb, but at the time we believed it.
"And shit, I had a helluva sex drive, too. I can remember laying down in my bed and wondering what it would be like to feel a man's prick inside me. I guess I was about fifteen at the time, and I'd just learned all about fucking.
"That was kind of funny, come to think of it. I knew all about cocks, or at least I thought I did, from taking care of my baby brother.
So when a girlfriend told me that a man put his wanger up a woman's snatch to get a baby, T just laughed at her. I couldn't see how such a little thing could possibly stay in.
"Later on I learned about cocks getting hard and all that. Even though I wasn't allowed to date, I could go to dances in school. There were always a lot of slow dances, and I always had partners.
"I can't remember the name of the first guy who got a hard-on while he was dancing with me, just that he had red hair and freckles, and wore thick glasses. He was kind of a creep, but good at dancing.
"He held me very tight, so that my mound was pressed close to his prick. As we danced, I kept feeling this hard knot getting bigger and bigger. I wondered what it was for a minute, and then it hit me.
"I was embarrassed as hell, and tried to break away from him. But he held me tight, and told me to cut it out. He didn't want everyone on the dance floor to see his thing bulging out of his pants. And he sure did have a great big one, too.
"After that, I got used to feeling hard cocks pressed up against me. And even though I told all my friends that I hated it, it was a lie. There was something so really great about feeling a thick bone pressing into me!
"Anyway, especially after a dance, I would get all turned on. When I got home, I tried not to think about such dirty things, since I knew that it was wrong. Or at least that was what I thought then.
"But somehow, I just couldn't stop wondering how it would feel to have a thick piece of meat all the way up inside my snatch. I played with myself then and it didn't take me any time at all to find my clitoris. As soon as the tip of my finger grazed the head of my little knob it began to swell up at once.
"At first, my pussy was so tight that only one finger could fit inside it. But as I kept on working it in and out, it stretched until two and then three fingers slid in and out of my well greased little honey pot.
"Of course, I got a real kick out of it, but my fingers still felt so small compared to the size of a cock. But I was a good girl, and I intended to stay that way.
"I worried a lot about the way I played with myself. I knew that it was wrong, but as soon as I got into bed my hand just seemed to want to go right down between my legs. It got so that I could get all wet down there just thinking about sex.
"Anyway, when I was eighteen I started to date. Naturally, I found out pretty fast that all the boys were after just one thing--they wanted to fuck me.
"Luckily, in those days they really didn't expect a girl to put out, so the boys kept coming back for more frustration. I had a code of my own--no kissing on the first two dates, and shit like that. I had learned that it was important that the boys respect me, and they sure did.
"When John and I first started going out together it was different from anything I'd ever known before. I didn't understand it, but it seemed like sparks seemed to fly out of our bodies.
"After the first three or four dates, we started necking a lot. He would kiss me, thrusting his tongue in and out of my mouth. I just loved it!
"And I could feel his hard prick pressing into my body, longing for my sopping wet pussy. I wanted him so damned much that it really hurt. After a date with him, I really gave myself a work-out, plunging my fingers into my quim until I came.
"He kept asking me to sleep with him, but I kept on saying no. I wanted to, but I knew that if I did he wouldn't respect me. In those days, that's what happened to girls who put out.
"Besides, after a couple of months I knew that I wanted to marry him. It wasn't only because of his stiff rod, either. He was nice and kind and gentle, and we always had a good time together. We thought alike about almost everything.
"Finally he popped the question. We had been kissing in his car for about an hour, and then he asked me to marry him. Naturally I said yes.
"During our engagement, which only lasted three months, we went just a little bit further in our love making. He undressed me, and kissed and sucked on my tits until my nipples stood out like firm, ripe strawberries.
"I used to love that. I would lay back on his lap while his lips and tongue and teeth worked over my tits. At the same time, he fingered my snatch as quickly as he could.
"One night, about two weeks before we got married, he asked me to give him a hand job. I said okay, although I was just a little scared. In all that time, I'd never really seen a hard cock, and for some reason the thought of touching it frightened me.
"But I agreed to do it. After all, he always gave one a hell of a good time. I figured that I owed it to him. Besides, to tell you the truth, I was pretty damned curious.
"His cock was gigantic! It was at least eight inches long! That first time I saw it, I was sure that it was almost a foot. I began to wonder, then, just how that salami was ever going to get into my tiny hole.
"Still, I loved to look at it. The head was all purple and mushy and kind of sweet. I could see the tiny little hole at the end where he would dump his hot load out.
"And the shaft! I just loved to hold it in my hand and move it up and down, feeling the thin skin moving at the same time. I could see his veins, too, pulsing harder and harder every time I touched him.
"That first time, it only took him a couple of seconds to come. I was fascinated, watching the jism shoot out again and again as his prick quivered in convulsive spasms of delight.
"And then, when it was all over, I watched his dork slowly begin to shrink until it was only about five inches long. I touched it again, and before I knew it, it was strong and hard once more.
"That second time it took a lot longer to make him come. I moved my hand up and down his cock hundreds of times, loving the hot stiffness of it more and more.
"His second wad seemed even bigger than the first, and it shot out all over the place. I even got some in my hair, but I didn't mind. I just couldn't wait until I got it in my pussy, right where it really belonged.
"I watched his face too, that second time. It was amazing! I'd never seen him looking so happy in all the time that I'd known him.
"Finally our wedding day arrived! While I got dressed, my mother tried to give me some advice.
" 'Monica, I know you've always been a good girl. Now I want you to listen to me. John is a good boy, but he's a man, and men all want the same thing. As much as you might hate to do it, it's your duty as a wife to give him what he wants.' " 'Yes, Momma,' I told her.
"'It's not too bad, after a while,' she continued. 'And after you get used to it, you can just close your eyes and think about something else.' "I was really kind of surprised. My parents had always seemed to get along fine and love each other and all that. I couldn't understand why she would talk like that. I'd been looking forward to getting fucked since I was fifteen to find out what it was all about.
"I was very tempted to tell her that, or at least that I wasn't afraid. But I didn't. I decided that if she felt the way that she did it just might get her all upset.
"The wedding itself was nice, but I don't remember too much about it. I was thinking more of the honeymoon. Especially my wedding night, when John and I would be naked in each others arms.
"We left the reception right after we cut the cake and had some champagne. John told everyone that we had a lot of driving to do, and he wanted to get an early start.
"'I didn't know we were going that far away,' I told him once we were in the car. I was disappointed in a way, since all I wanted was a nice big bed.
" 'We're not,' he said with a grin. 'But I couldn't tell everyone that I couldn't wait to get in bed with you, could I?' I grinned back at him, feeling pretty relieved.
"We drove for about half an hour. Then John pulled into a nice motel that was just on the edge of town. He registered quickly and we hurried up to our room.
"Just as soon as John closed the door, he had me in his arms. He kissed me hard, holding my body close to his. I could feel the heat rising out of his crotch.
"We lay down on the bed, and he undressed me. As he uncovered each new part of my body, he kissed it and told me that it belonged to him. As soon as I was naked, he hurried out of his clothes.
"I was just a little bit nervous, thinking about the size of his prick and the size of my hole. But once he started kissing me again I forgot all about it.
"He ran his tongue in and out of my mouth for a long time. His hands found my tits, and he took my nipple in between his fingers and rubbed it until it was hard and distended. Then he worked over the other one.
"I touched his prick, and found that it was long and hard and throbbing. At the same time, his fingers delved into my gully. I was wet down there, wet and longing for the feel of his prick to come inside me.
"At last, he decided that I was ready. I lay on my back and let him spread my legs wide open. Then he straddled me, dangling his cock so that just the head of it pressed against my clit.
" 'Suddenly, he rammed it home. All eight inches of his meat inside me, quivering with passion. It hurt for a minute. I thought that I was going to burst. But he held very still, so that I could only feel the throbbing of his dork and not any movement.
"Little by little, the pain subsided. Before I knew it, it didn't hurt at all! Only then, when he saw me relax, did John begin to move in and out of me, ever so slowly.
"It was wonderful! My hole was tight, and his dork was thick so there was a lot of friction. He filled me up completely, in a way that I had only imagined was possible!
"For a little while, I just lay there, letting him do all the work. I was having the time of my life. But then, I wanted to hold him, to feel the rest of his body close to mine. So I put my arms around him and pulled him down on top of me, wrapping my legs around his back at the some time.
"Before I knew it, I was moving with him, arching my hips up to meet every thrust of his sword. We moved together, as though there was only one body and we were both part of it.
"Suddenly, his thrusts became stronger and much more intense. He worked his dork in and out as fast as he could, reminding me of a jackhammer.
"As he went harder and faster, I felt my whole body begin to turn to jelly. I was being lost in a wonderful sensation and I loved it. I couldn't think, couldn't move. All I could do was feel the wonderful things that were happening inside my body.
"And then my pussy began to move. At first, the spasms were very gentle. But as I kept having them, they kept getting harder and longer and more wonderful.
"It was strange, at first. I had absolutely no control over my body. My pussy was on fire, and I could feel the flames of passion spreading through my entire body.
"Just then, at the Very peak of my climax, I felt John stiffen. A few seconds later, I let out a yell as his hot juice flooded my body. I remember I raked my nails over his back and began to toss and turn on the bed.
"Once again, another shot of jism filled my quivering box. I was wild, almost out of my mind with delight. The juice was followed by another, and then still another fiery load.
"At last, after what seemed like a wonderful eternity, our passions subsided and we held each other close. We fell asleep like that, and woke up an hour or so later, eager to make love all over again. And the second time was even better!
"We stayed in that little cabin during the entire week of our honeymoon. Meals were sent in, and we didn't get dressed except to throw a robe on to answer the door.
"It was a wonderful time of my life, and John's too. We were very young, and just crazy about each other.
"It all lasted about two years, which I guess is pretty good. I don't know exactly what changed everything. Probably a combination of things.
"During the first two years, we made love almost every day. Some nights, when John would come home from work, we would leave the dinner on the table getting cold while we took a quick trip to the bedroom. In those days, all it took was a look or a quick kiss to get both of us very excited.
"So what happened? For one thing, I got pregnant. I was glad that I was going to have John's child, but I had a rotten time of it. He tried to be very sympathetic, but that didn't make me feel too much better. Even though the thought of sex didn't turn me on at the moment, I could still remember how great everything had been.
"Around that same time, John switched careers and started working for an advertising agency. He loved it, and I was happy that he had a job he enjoyed. At the same time, it took up a lot of his time and interest.
"I guess we neglected each other. I was very involved with the baby, and he was busy with work. The magic time of our first couple of years slipped away before we even realized it was going.
"Oh, once in a while we tried to get it back. But with kids, you can't leave dinner on the table. And he worked at night.
"So the years went by. I can't say that I was especially happy in the beginning. John was getting ahead, and we started buying all kinds of fun things, including a large house.
"I spent my time running the house, taking care of the kids, and gossiping with other young mothers. I never really had any big interest of my own, and I didn't miss having one. I was happy just being what John expected me to be.
"Sex didn't disappear from our lives or anything like that. It just gradually grew less and less important. At least it did to John. As far as he was concerned, I was satisfied, and I just couldn't bring myself to let him know that I wasn't.
"I tried to work things out alone for a while, but that didn't work. My pussy was used to the size of John's dork, and wasn't about to settle for my fingers again.
"Anyway, the years passed and our marriage just grew worse and worse. I don't think John was even aware of it. I guess he thought that all the things he was buying me took the place of love.
"It really got worse as the kids grew up. They didn't need me too much, and I didn't try to hold on to them or anything like that. I knew that they had their own lives.
"Once they were gone, I really had nothing to do. Oh, there were a couple of women's clubs and things like that, but they were kind of a drag. None of the women were very happy, and it turned into a gripe session after each meeting.
"I heard a lot about women's liberation and for a while I thought about getting a job. But it didn't take me long to give up that idea. It just wasn't for me. I've never been especially brainy or anything, so I knew I would wind up typing all day. Besides, I hate to get up in the morning.
"I guess I was looking for something to keep me feeling alive again when I met Walt."
Interviewer: I think we'd better stop here for today. We'll continue tomorrow.
* * *
Interviewer: I believe you were about to tell me how you met the boy who became your lover.
Monica: That's right. As I told you before, we have a big house, and a lot of ground with it. I've never much liked gardening so we always had to hire someone to take care of it.
Interviewer: Didn't your husband do any garden work?
Monica: Are you kidding? He liked things to look nice, but he wasn't interested in working at it.
Interviewer: I see. Go on.
Monica: We'd had an old man working for us for about five years. He did a very good job, but he was old. Finally his doctor told him no more gardening. So I had to find someone else.
Interviewer: Didn't your husband want to interview the gardeners?
Monica: No. He let me run the house. That was my job. So I started looking around. It didn't take me long to find out that there weren't too many gardeners around. Luckily, it was summertime, and one of my friends suggested hiring a high school kid.
Interviewer: And you agreed?
Monica: I didn't have too much choice. It was either that or do it myself.
Interviewer: Prior to the time that you hired Walt, had you ever felt sexually inclined towards young boys?
Monica: Oh, a little. My son had some very good looking friends and they used to turn me on a little. I kind of wondered how big their dicks were, and how well they knew how to use them.
Interviewer: But you never actually entertained the possibility of having an affair with a young boy?
Monica: Not seriously. I mean, they were all friends of my son's. It could never have worked out. Besides, they just didn't have the special kind of appeal that Walt did.
Interviewer: I see. How, exactly, did you happen to hire him?
Monica: I put a notice up in some of the grocery stores in the area. He was the second boy who called.
Interviewer: What was wrong with the first boy?
Monica: He didn't know anything about gardening. He thought the job would be mostly cutting lawns.
Interviewer: I see. And what was your reaction the first time you met Walt?
Monica: As soon as he walked into the house my pants were just about drenched with cream!
Interviewer: Can you say exactly what there was about the boy that excited you?
Monica: He looked like my idea of a Greek god. Really, he did. He had sun bleached blond hair, and the bluest eyes I'd ever seen. His face was tan, making his eyes stand out even more.
He was wearing tight jeans and a tee shirt. The jeans didn't leave much to my imagination --I was sure that his cock was even bigger than John's.
Interviewer: What was his reaction to you?
Monica: Interested, just a little. I'd been sunning by the pool, and I was wearing my briefest bikini. I've got big tits, and most of them were hanging out.
Interviewer: Then you would say that the interest was mutual right from the beginning?
Monica: I guess so. I mean, he looked at me and thought of fucking, and I looked at him and thought of fucking. Of course, I don't think that he ever dreamed that I would do anything about it.
Interviewer: Did you?
Monica: Not that first day. As soon as I felt like I could talk, I asked him a few questions and found out that he knew a lot about plants and all. So I told him to start work the next day.
Interviewer: Did you tell your husband anything about him?
Monica- Sure. I told him that I'd hired a good looking young kid to do our gardening for the summer.
Interviewer: Did he show any kind of jealousy?
Monica: Shit, no. Why should he? He didn't really think of me as someone to bother fucking very much, so he never would have thought that a young boy would see anything in me.
Interviewer: Did you think about the boy a great deal?
Monica: Yes, I did. That night, I just couldn't sleep. I kept closing my eyes, but every time I did he was standing there with his broad shoulders and bulging cock. There was something else about him, too.
Interviewer: What was that?
Monica: It was the way that he moved. He reminded me of a jungle cat, a wild thing. I think it was his walk as much as anything that made me really want him.
Interviewer: When did you really decide to go through with it, to have an affair with him?
Monica: I don't think I ever really consciously decided anything like that. It was like, one minute we were aware that we were on fire, and a second later we headed towards the bedroom.
Interviewer: I see. Would you like to tell me just how the affair actually did start?
Monica: Sure. But don't interrupt. It might spoil my concentration, and then I couldn't talk about it.
Interviewer: All right. But one more question before you begin. Monica: Shoot.
Interviewer: Did you, at any time, feel that you were in love with the boy ?
Monica: No, not really. I loved his hands and his cock and his mouth, but not him.
Interviewer: I see. Go ahead with the story.
"For the first week or so, I mostly left Walt alone. He came every afternoon and went right to work. Sometimes I watched him secretly, loving the way his muscles bulged and the sweat ran down his naked chest. He didn't have much hair on it, and for some reason that excited me too.
"I may as well admit it--everything about the boy turned me on. I knew that he was only sixteen, but he had more going for him sex-wise than a man ten years older.
"I didn't talk to him very much. But I made sure that if I didn't have my bikini on when he came, I was wearing something that was almost as revealing.
"He always looked me over when he thought that I wouldn't notice. I could tell that he was kind of interested. But at the same time, he wasn't about to make the first move or anything. He was always very polite, almost formal.
"One day, I just couldn't stand it any longer. He was weeding some flowers when I called him into the house to have a cold drink. He thanked me and gulped it down. As I picked up his glass to get him a refill, I made sure that my half-naked tit grazed his cheek.
"It acted almost like an electric current. He half jumped out of his chair and then sat down again.
" 'Do you like me?' I asked him.
" 'Yes, ma'am,' he said with a gulp.
" 'I like you a lot too.' Then I moved closer to him, almost shoving my breast under his nose.
" 'Uh... I don't understand,' he told me. But the look in his eye let me know that he knew what I had in mind. Not only knew, but was willing to do something about it.
" 'Yes, you do,' I told him. 'And if you really don't, come with me and I'll show you.' I took his hand in mine and led him upstairs to the spare bedroom.
"He followed willingly enough, although he did seem to be just a little nervous.
"When we got to the bedroom he turned and stared at me. I wanted him to take me in his arms, crush me with his bulging muscles. But he just stood there watching me, almost suspiciously.
" 'What's the matter?' I asked him.
" 'Are you sure that you know what you're doing?' he asked me.
" 'Oh yes,' I told him. 'It's something I've been thinking a lot about, ever since I saw you.' "But he still didn't move. Instead, he kept on watching me. I suppose it was kind of a shock to him. He never expected me to do anything like that.
"I began to wonder then if he thought I was just joking. It was the only explanation that my mind could come up with.
"I stared at him for a minute, and then looked very pointedly down at the bulge in his pants. As he saw my eyes go down to his cock. I could see it begin to stiffen just a little.
"But he still didn't move. So I looked him straight in the eye and took off the top of my bikini. The sight of my naked tits made him gasp for breath. And his pole began to stand out even more.
"I knew then that it was up to me to be the complete aggressor. And I didn't mind it a bit.
"I walked closer to Walt, making sure that my boobs jiggled seductively. He watched me, keeping one eye fastened on my tits. When I reached him, I put my arms around him and rubbed my naked breasts up against his smooth, strong chest.
"He put his arms around me then and held me awkwardly, as if he wasn't sure what his next move should be. I turned my face up to his and kissed him very gently on the lips, letting the tip of my tongue barely graze them.
"I wanted him very badly then. My pussy, my whole body was on fire. I took him by the hand and led him over to the bed.
" 'Lay down,' I told him. 'Make yourself comfortable.' "He lay down and I sat down next to him. I moved my breasts over his head for a minute. At last, he opened his mouth and I popped one swollen nipple into it.
"Then I unbuckled his belt and unzipped his fly. I could feel the heat of his cock through his jeans, and I couldn't wait to get them off so that I could hold his prick in my hand.
"It was even larger than I thought it would be! It was at least eight inches when I started to run my fingers over the head of it. As I continued to touch it, it kept on growing and getting harder, until it was a mighty staff indeed!
"Walt just lay back on the bed. At first, he watched me playing with his dork but then he closed his eyes and, for the first time, relaxed completely.
"I felt like telling him that it wasn't going to be a hand job. But then I got a much better idea!
"I climbed on top of him, and finally got my pussy right on top of his cock. I moved my cunt over it a couple of times, to let him feel how warm and wet it was.
"That made his dork stand up even straighter. When it was stiff as a pole, I sank my well-oiled pussy right over it.
"It felt so wonderful to have a thick cock inside me again! It had been weeks since John had bothered. Besides, I had been aching for the feel of Walt inside me for what seemed like an eternity.
"I'd never been on top before. John didn't think that it was right. But as soon as I started to move up and down on his cock, I knew that it was perfect for me.
"It only took a minute or two to find the best way to ride his dork. I moved up and down so that with every thrust, his cock rubbed against my clit. It wasn't long before I was right on the brink of coming.
"I couldn't believe the boy's staying power. I mean, I'd kind of expected him to get his rocks off as soon as he got inside. But, as I found out, he could stay hard for up to fifteen minutes at a time with no trouble at all.
"Anyway, that first time, after about three minutes my pussy began to quiver and shake, grabbing his thick dong hard and squeezing it for all it was worth.
"I sank down on top of him and buried my head in his shoulder as my orgasmic spasms kept going through my body. I dimly remember thinking that he should come too, but frankly I was beyond giving much of anything too much thought.
"I came again and again, my body wracked with a kind of passion that I hadn't felt in years and years. After a while, my climaxes began to diminish, and eventually they stopped.
"Walt was still hard! I couldn't quite believe it! I'd had a marvelous experience, and I could have it all over again, without having to wait for any kind of warm-up period.
"Believe me, it didn't take me a hell of a long time before I was moving up and down the length of his shaft again. As I bobbed up and down on his piece of meat, I moved my tits up so that they were over his mouth.
"As I kept on moving my soppy wet cunt up and down on his pole, he started sucking on my tits. First he sucked one until the nipple was swollen and distended. Then I moved over so that each of my tit tips would get equal time.
"I kept riding him, feeling the start of another orgasm bubbling up inside me. But this time, I wanted to feel him come too. So I held back until I was ready to explode.
"Just when I thought that I couldn't take it a second longer, his prick began to quiver. Then, just as I moved my twat down on it, I felt what seemed like an explosion. He hosed me down with more cream than I believed possible!
"It shot up all the way into the depths of my cunt. When it was just starting to run down toward the base of his cock, he jetted another full load into me.
"I'm sure that he creamed at least three more times, but I can't exactly remember. At the feel of his juice inside me, my own passions hit the boiling point and I came.
"It was one of the best climaxes I ever had! The spasms just kept coming and coming, driving me out of my mind with delight. By then, I had sunk down on his chest, and I remember feeling his arms going around me.
"Of course, it didn't last forever, much as I would have liked it too. Eventually I felt my pussy quiver for the last time as his dork began to shrink inside me.
"We lay on the bed for a while, side by side, not saying anything. Suddenly, the enormity of the thing that I had done struck me, and hit me hard.
"I'd never really believed in adultery or swapping or anything like that. And here I'd coerced a boy, a boy younger than my son, into going to bed with me.
"For a minute, I panicked. What if he told my husband? Or the neighbors? Or the police. I looked at him with fear in my eyes. But he was lying on the bed looking happy--almost the same look that John had had.
"I realized then that he had enjoyed the sex just as much as I had. So why would he jeopardize the whole thing by telling anyone? Just to make sure, I felt like I had to say something.
" 'You know, of course, that it would be a real disaster for you to brag to your friends about me,' I said very gently.
" 'Don't sweat it. It's our secret.' He smiled at me then, a very warm smile that made me realize that I had picked myself a good guy.
"We lay around some more, until he finally decided that he'd better get back to work. I nodded. I wanted to get up with him, but all the energy seemed drained from my body. So I just lay back on the bed and watched as he got dressed.
" 'It's a shame to cover you up,' I told him as he put his pants back on.
" 'Yeah, well, your neighbors might not think that way. I'll see you later, I guess.' He left then, shutting the door behind him. I stayed on the bed for a while, savoring the sweaty, sexy smell. I knew then that I was safe. Walt wasn't going to tell anyone. He knew a good thing when he saw it, and didn't want to fuck it up.
"By the time I'd changed the sheets on the bed and all that Walt was just about ready to leave. He acted as though there had never been anything between us, and I did the same.
"John got home late that night. As I lay in bed, I thought about Walt and what I was doing. I kept trying to tell myself that I was acting like a fool. The boy could blackmail me, or do something else to mess up my life.
"After giving myself a good talking-to, I decided that I would fire Walt the following day. After all, I wasn't that desperate. I still had John.
"When he got home, he undressed quickly and climbed into bed. I knew that he liked to start things, but I couldn't help myself. I decided that if I could only work out a good sex life with John I wouldn't need Walt at all.
"I moved close to him, and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. He mumbled something or other and moved away just a little. Then I put my hand on his thigh, close to his cock.
" 'What are you doing?' he asked me.
" T should think that would be obvious,' I told him. 'It's been a long time since we've been, well, close together.' " 'Has it?' he asked. 'Maybe so. Still, Monica, I'm really worn out tonight. Why don't you turn over and go to sleep like a good girl?' He patted my back and turned over himself. A minute or two later I heard gentle snores coming from him.
"I was really pissed at him! It was the first time, in all the years that we'd been married, that I'd tried to get him to fuck me. And he had refused!
"Once again, I was torn by indecision about Walt. It didn't seem to me that I had much of a marriage to worry about destroying. All the same, I found that I couldn't actually approve of the idea of having an affair with anyone, especially not a kid.
"When I woke up the next morning, I had the whole thing straight in my head. The only thing to do would be to fire Walt and never see him again.
"I really did plan to do that. But as soon as he got there, after I took a good look at his tight pants and bulging crotch, I just forgot all about my resolutions.
"The affair lasted all summer, and I acted almost like a maniac. I mean, I was obsessed with the kid. The only thing I could think of was his tender young cock growing hard and fitting inside my cave.
"Even John noticed the difference in me. One night at dinner he asked me if I'd joined a new club or something. I told him that I hadn't, and asked him why he'd thought so.
" 'Because you seem so much happier. I don't know.' Then he went back to reading his paper.
"Everything was really wonderful. Walt came every day to work on the garden, and we always went upstairs to the guest bedroom. Feeling his cock inside me was the focal point of my life. I felt like I was getting my youth and happiness back again.
"Then, suddenly, it ended. Walt and I were in bed, and he was on top of me. He had just buried his dick in my snatch when John walked into the room.
"Walt got dressed in a hurry and probably ran all the way home. John was very upset, and so was I. He yelled and cussed at me for a long time. I screamed back at him, telling him that if he'd been a decent husband I would never have turned to Walt.
"John left then, and stayed away from home for three days and nights. I didn't know where he was, and I wasn't really sure that I cared. I expected to hear from his lawyer at any time.
"I called Walt, but he told me that it might be better to cool it for a while. He'd been badly shaken by the experience. I felt like begging him to come back--I needed his prick. But I knew that it wouldn't do very much good.
"John finally came home. He obviously hadn't shaved, and it looked like he hadn't slept, either. We had a long talk, and he told me that he understood.
" 'I guess I have been neglecting you, Monica. I didn't mean to do it. Somehow it just happened. All the same, I think that we had a good marriage once, and can have one again if we are willing to work hard at it.' "I agreed with him. I was really surprised that he could forgive me, but at the same time I was happy. If things could be worked out, it would mean that I hadn't wasted just about my whole life on something that didn't matter, in the long run.
"Of course, even though things are much better, John just doesn't compare to Walt in bed. He doesn't have the staying power, or the stamina, or the interest that a young boy has. All the same, I'm pretty happy with the way that things are."
SUMMARY
Monica and John suffered from one of the most common problems of our age--the empty marriage. Sociologists have found that most modern marriages have a definite pattern.
In the beginning, the newlyweds are almost totally engrossed in each other. They are almost oblivious to their surroundings and to other people. In some ways, this is natural. Getting to know another person intimately, sexually and otherwise, is a heady experience.
However, this kind of discovery cannot last forever. This is especially true if the individuals within the marriage stop growing. After a certain amount of time, the couple has explored their innermost thoughts and feelings about almost everything.
And so the couple turns more outward, to other people and other interests. While they still may care for each other a great deal, their devotion is less intense.
Along with this, they have also made a few unpleasant discoveries. It is impossible for two people to live with each other for any length of time without finding something aggravating.
As the marriage progresses, each partner becomes involved in his own little world. For the man, it is work. For the woman, it is home and children.
In many marriages, the crucial point comes after the children have grown up and left home. This leaves the wife with nothing but time on her hands.
Some couples are lucky enough to realize this, and discuss it. In cases like these, the husband and wife may work hard to develop some mutual interest that both can become involved in. Or they may decide that the wife needs to work, to have some kind of life of her own.
However, many couples just fumble along, with the wife becoming more and more dissatisfied. Eventually, there is some kind of an eruption.
In many cases, the eruption is sexual. The wife, feeling deprived and unhappy, take?) a lover. A younger man can temporarily restore her interest in life.
The sad fact here is that young men have a habit of drifting on. This leaves the wife with the same problem, and she once again looks for another man to make her feel alive.
This is what happened to Monica. She felt rejected by her husband both sexually and in other ways. Even though they had lived together for twenty years, they had become strangers.
In one way, Monica was a lucky woman. Her husband, after being confronted by her affair, was perceptive enough to realize that he had failed her in many ways.
John had not failed his wife on purpose. During the years when the children were small, he had gotten the feeling that he was no longer necessary to his wife.
The first problem the couple had to overcome was a total lack of communication. John and Monica had to tell each other what they thought and how they felt. After the first initial stiffness, they found that it was almost like falling in love all over again.
They also had to get their sexual relationship back on an even keel. As they got to know each other again, their desire flared up. Monica, of course, had to fully understand that John could not be as potent as the young boy. But she reconciled herself to this fact very easily. John's new attentiveness made up for a great deal.
Today, after a great deal of communication, the couple is very happy.
CHAPTER TWO - THE LIBERATED WOMAN
What in the world do women want? This is the most frequently asked question about the Women's Liberation Movement. And it is asked by men and women alike.
Some of the goals, according to an article in NOW Acts, the magazine of the National Organization of Women, are: Equal pay for equal work.
Legalization of abortion.
Child care centers.
Not all women are in favor of Women's Lib. Many housewives, happy and secure in their lifestyles, resent having other women rock the boat. And many men ridicule the movement because it threatens them.
However, the basis of the movement is quite simply freedom of choice. The women in the movement, and those who believe in it, want to be able to choose their lives the way men do instead of being thrust into a male-dominated situation.
Many women feel that the institution of marriage locks them away forever from any chance of expressing themselves as individuals. In The Feminine Mystique, Betty Friedan explains this. "Marriage and motherhood is the end; after that, women are supposed to be ambitious only for their husbands and their children."
Because of this, many women are refusing to marry. Others insist upon the husband's agreeing to let them keep their identities. Still others are experimenting with new forms-- group marriages and communes in which the sexes are viewed as truly equal.
The main objection to the movement by many men is that they are afraid that women will somehow become de-sexed. While it is true that many women detest being viewed as sex objects, this does not mean that they have no interest in sex.
On the contrary, they are more free than ever before. In The Single Girl Goes to Town, Jean Baer explains, "The development of the pill has given biological freedom to any single girl who can swallow. To bed or not to bed is no longer the question."
Miss Baer then goes on to explain that it is up to the woman to pick and choose the kind of relationship that she wants. The concept of virginity is outmoded, and both men and women realize this.
There are, of course, many older women who have lived liberated lives for years, both sexually and in other areas. These women, for one reason or another, never married and never wanted to.
Today, a woman in her late thirties or early forties is not really considered old. If she has taken good care of herself, she may still be very attractive to men of all ages.
As we have already seen, young boys are usually the most potent sexual partners. For an older woman who is not looking for anything more than a good time, they may be the ideal solution.
CASE HISTORY
Paula T. is an extremely attractive woman of forty-one who looks ten years younger. During the past two years, she estimates that she has had sexual relations with over one hundred boys under the age of eighteen. (Source: Private files of a sociologist.) Interviewer: For a start, what do you think of Women's Liberation?
Paula: I think it's great. I've always lived like that, and I don't think I've missed anything. I think it's time that we let young girls know that there is a more exciting alternative to marriage and motherhood.
Interviewer: I see. Tell me, did you ever experience any kind of discrimination in your work?
Paula: No, I can't honestly say that I have. Of course, I'm an interior decorator. If I'd wanted to be a doctor or an engineer I might have had more of a problem.
Interviewer: I see. And you don't feel that you've missed anything by not marrying?
Paula: Damned right I haven't. I just can't see marriage anyway. The whole idea sounds like such a drag.
Interviewer: Why is that?
Paula: I can't imagine being tied to one man all my life, for one thing. Variety is the spice of life, and I love it.
Interviewer: I see. Then you never wanted to marry?
Paula: No, I didn't. I suppose the way that I grew up might explain part of it, I don't know.
Interviewer: Why don't you tell me about it?
Paula: All right. I was the oldest of nine kids, and we lived in a slum. Shit, the place didn't even have hot water.
My old man was a real bastard. I guess that's not a nice thing for a girl to say about her father, but in my case it's the truth.
Interviewer: What did he do?
Paula: He was a lazy lush who wouldn't take any kind of responsibility. I guess the first thing I remember about him was when I was about four. I hadn't seen him before, or at least I didn't remember. I had a two year old brother then, and the bastard decided to come home to see his new addition.
Interviewer: You mean he deserted your mother ?
Paula: That's right. When he found out that she was knocked up again, he took off. Anyway, I can remember him walking in, smelling like cheap gin. He scared the shit out of me.
My mother, instead of throwing him out, acted like she was glad to see him. I guess she was, too. That night, when I was lying in my bed I could hear them right next to me. He was huffing and puffing away, while she just sort of lay there and moaned.
Interviewer: Did you have any idea of what was going on?
Paula: Not really. I figured he couldn't be hurting her too much, since she wasn't really crying. So I went back to sleep.
Interviewer: Did your father stay around long?
Paula: Hell no. As soon as my mom was pregnant again he took off again. And it kept on happening like that until all nine of us were born. After that, he never came back.
Interviewer: Why did your mother take him back?
Paula: That's a laugh. He was her husband, and she thought that it was her duty. Can you imagine? The poor woman. Oh well, maybe she's better off than some I see today.
Interviewer: What do you mean?
Paula: Oh, there are so many fucked up people. They don't know what to do with their lives. At least she knew, or thought that she did. And she did it, too.
Interviewer: Was she happy?
Paula: With nine kids ?
Interviewer: I suppose not. And you think that's what made you decide never to marry?
Paula: Yes. In fact, I'm damned sure of it now. I just couldn't stomach the whole idea of the thing. Letting some man be my master and step all over me.
Interviewer: But surely not all marriages are like that.
Paula: Oh yeah? Take a close look around you. It might not be so obvious all the time, but that's the way life is.
Interviewer: I still have my doubts. However. What about sex? Did it turn you off that too?
Paula: For a while. I mean, it didn't take me long to figure out just how all the kids were getting there. And, really, if it hadn't been for .the kids, my mother might have had a decent life.
Interviewer: Didn't she believe in birth control?
Paula: Hell no. But I did so I never had any problem.
Interviewer: When was your first sexual encounter ?
Paula: Let me see. I guess I was about fourteen.
Interviewer: Would you care to tell us about it?
Paula: Okay. That's what I'm here for. Let me see. His name, I think, was Bobby, and he was two years older than I was. He was cute, I guess.
You see, since I decided not to get married, that freed me from a lot of the conventions that worried my friends. They thought that if they fucked, no nice boy would marry them. Well, I didn't want to get married, so it never seemed like a threat.
Bobby. I met him in school. He was a couple of years older than I was. I think I liked him because he was honest... now I remember! It was kind of funny.
You see, I've got really big tits and long legs and all that. In other words, I turned the boys on, even at fourteen. And I knew it, too. They were always asking me to go for a soda or something like that. But hell, I knew what they wanted.
The thing about Bobby was, he was the first guy who ever admitted it. Instead of asking me to go to a movie, he told me that his folks were going out, and wouldn't I like to go over to his house to fuck.
Interviewer: What was your reaction to that?
Paula: I thought it sounded like a good idea. Look, I'd figured out by then, from watching my ma, that there had to be something really great about the whole thing. Even though my dad was a bastard, he must have been damned good in the kip. Whenever he was home, she walked around looking starry eyed.
So I was curious. But before I agreed to go, I told him that I didn't want to get knocked up. He just grinned, and put his hand in his pocket. Then he pulled it out and showed me a pack of rubbers in his palm.
He was surprised that I agreed to let him screw me. I had a good reputation up until then, and he just couldn't understand it. But it was really very simple.
You see, I knew that guys were perfectly free to go out and fuck any girl they could. And since I already assumed that it might be fun, I didn't see why I shouldn't do the same thing.
Interviewer: It seems to me that you chose, at an early age, to identify with men rather than women.
Paula: I could have told you that! You're right. Even though I hated my dad's guts in a lot of ways, I kind of had to respect him. He had his fun and then cut out. My mother was left holding the bag. Or in this case, the baby.
Interviewer: Yes. Well, go on about Bobby.
Paula: Oh, sure. I went up the stairs to his place with my heart in my throat. I was really shaking. I didn't know what to expect and I was scared. But I'd already committed myself, and I didn't want to chicken out. Not being a chicken was very big in the slums, you know.
He kissed me for a long time, before he even tried to do anything else. It was nice and warm and cozy, having his arms around me like that. We were lying on his bed, and that made it even nicer.
He used his tongue a whole lot, and that got my juices going. Before I knew it, I was getting turned on. He seemed to sense it, because then he started playing around with my tits.
That felt good too. I could feel my nipples getting all hard, and I wanted him to bite them. I don't know why, but I thought it would feel good. I told him that, and he was only too glad to oblige.
He got my blouse off in a hurry, but I had to help him with my bra. God, when he saw my naked tits I was sure that he was going to flip out. He was the first boy that ever saw me naked like hat, and I loved it. I didn't feel shy, or modest, or anything like that. I was just proud that he liked to look at them so much.
He sucked them for a while and then started biting. That drove me out of my mind. It hurt a little bit, but I could feel the sensations running from my boob all the way down to my crotch.
Pretty soon he had my panties down and he was feeling me down there, too. At first, he wasn't too sure what to go for. But my clit was throbbing, and I guess he felt it because he zeroed in on that pretty quick.
Then he started fingering my gash. It felt so good that I almost let out a scream. I remembered the neighbors just in time.
Once he got me all lathered up and ready, he got out of his clothes fast. His dork was nice--about six inches long and a couple of inches around. I don't think my tight quim could have taken anything too much bigger than that.
I watched and waited while he slipped the rubber on. It was funny looking, and I didn't understand why he needed all that room at the end. I guess I was pretty naive in a lot of ways.
He slipped it in me, and it didn't hurt a bit. Not one twinge of pain. He kept asking me if I was okay until I started to get just a little impatient.
So he fucked me. He was just a kid, and not too experienced. He didn't last a long time, but it was enough to give me the first taste of a climax.
I was thrilled by the whole thing. It had all been so nice and friendly. My pussy had gone out of control for a few seconds, sending shivers all through my body. It was like being in outer space.
After that, Bobby started getting kind of mushy. Since he was the first guy, he knew that I wasn't a 'bad girl.' He started sending me poems and crap like that. I got sick of it after a while.
Interviewer: Then I take it you weren't in love with him.
Paula: No, I wasn't. I thought he was a nice guy, and he made my body feel great. But aside from that, there wasn't any real attachment on my part. He had other ideas.
Interviewer: Such as?
Paula: He wanted to marry me! When he told me, I couldn't believe it.
Interviewer: You didn't want to marry him.
Paula: Hell no. I knew that if I did that I would wind up almost like my mother. Oh, I didn't think he would skip out and leave me pregnant nine times, but I knew that I would have to have kids, wash diapers, and all the rest of it.
I didn't want that. I'd had more than enough of it. I told him so, too.
Interviewer: What was his reaction?
Paula: He thought I was crazy. He said that a girl either got married or wound up on the streets. So we had a fight, and that was the last time I saw him.
Interviewer: Did you have any plans?
Paula: Sure. I managed to finish high school, which wasn't easy. Ma wanted me to go to work as soon as I could. But she was used to being brow-beaten, so it didn't take much arguing to make her see my side of it.
I knew that just as soon as I finished school I would get out of the slums. I figured I could type and take shorthand well enough to get me a job. I wouldn't be rich, but it couldn't be much worse than what I was used to.
Interviewer: Is that what you did?
Paula: Just about. I got a job typing and found out it was a drag. So I took some courses in night school. Interior decoration was one of them, and it just hit me. I knew then that that's what I wanted to do. Make places pretty for people to live in.
Interviewer: Did you have trouble getting started ?
Paula: Not too much. I got a job in the furniture department of a large store to begin with and worked up from there. I've always believed that if a girl has talent and tries to make it work for her, things will work out okay.
Interviewer: Did you date very much?
Paula: Oh yes. By then, I'd turned into a 'bad girl.' It was kind of a joke to me, actually. I didn't look or act like a girl who put out. But once I had a guy in my apartment, well, they had to watch out before I raped them.
Interviewer: You must be exaggerating.
Paula: Oh, just a little. The thing was, I really dug sex. I still do. As far as I'm concerned, it's one of the most fun things a girl can do.
Interviewer: What about love?
Paula: What about it?
Interviewer: Didn't you ever fall in love?
Paula: Not really. I learned very fast. As soon as I went out with a guy four or five times, he started acting like he owned me. Oh, not in big ways, just little things.
Interviewer: And that bothered you?
Paula: It sure did. I felt that it was my life, and no one had any claims on it, unless I let them. And I never let any of them. Look, I guess it doesn't sound very romantic, but that's the way my life is.
Interviewer: Then you never wanted to have any kind of emotional attachment?
Paula: No, I can't honestly say that I did. I had a lot of girlfriends, and watching them was enough to set me off the idea of love forever.
Interviewer: Why?
Paula: Because they were always miserable. Even when they had a big thing going with some guy, they couldn't relax and enjoy it. Would he call? Wouldn't he call? Would he come over? Did he really love her or was he just using her?
Ill tell you something. I went through enough love affairs with friends to make me hate the sound of the word. And after the whole thing ended, there were tears and more tears. And then the hunt for someone else. Then it all started over again.
Interviewer: You mean none of them ended happily?
Paula: Oh, sure. A few of them did. In fact, most of my friends eventually got married. And I'll tell you something. Today, with their kids and suburban houses, most of them are jealous of me.
Interviewer: Why is that?
Paula: Because they are stuck with a really boring life, while I am still having a hell of a good time. Oh, most of them won't admit it. They prattle on about security and mother love and responsibility. But that stuff doesn't cut it with me.
Interviewer: Why not?
Paula: Because it's all so phony. So they have security. Or at least they do until their hubbies run off with the glamour girl down the street. I don't have to worry about that. And mother love. Well, I spent the first seventeen years of my life watching kids. They can have it. And responsibility. They don't have any, anymore. They've given it away to their husbands.
Interviewer: Do you think that your lifestyle would be suitable for everyone?
Paula: Of course not. Look, I realize that I'm probably neurotic as hell. But I've adjusted to it. I like the way I live. Especially the past two years.
Interviewer: Yes, I was just going to bring that up. You've developed a strong inclination for intercourse with younger boys.
Paula: That's right.
Interviewer: Can you tell me why?
Paula: Sure. They don't have any hang-ups, or at least most of them don't. Besides, they are better in bed. And there's nothing I like better than showing a young boy the ropes. I figure that after he's been with me he'll make every girl he lays happy as a lark.
Interviewer: Can you tell me how all this got started?
Paula: Well, I could. But I have a better idea. I've always kept a very, well, explicit diary. I could give you that to read through. I think it would tell you the whole story.
Interviewer: Why, thank you. I think that would be a very good idea.
Paula: Okay, you read it. And when you're done, you can ask me any questions you want to.
Interviewer: Thank you.
While it would be impossible to reprint Paula's entire diary here, we believe that the sections we have chosen explain why Paula turned to young boys for her sexual fulfillment.
"January 1--Well, Happy New Year. I guess. I had a groovy time last night with Rob, right up until the end. He was really with it, and great in bed. He sucked my tits until they almost hurt. In fact, they are still a little bit sore.
"I wish my pussy was. After he was done with my boobs, he climbed on top and shoved his cock all the way in. It felt great, and I started coming almost right away. He was at it for a pretty long time, too.
"After that is when all the hassle started. He told me right from the beginning that he was married and had five kids, so I thought I was safe. But no. Now he's thinking about leaving them. He wants to marry me!
"Naturally I told him to stop being an ass. He's been married for twenty years, and he must have something going there somewhere. Besides, I wouldn't marry him in a pig's eye.
"He got all upset and left in a huff. The phone has been ringing all afternoon, but I haven't bothered to answer it. I don't want to talk to Rob, especially, and the sooner he realizes it the better.
"Shit, all I wanted was some good, hot fucking. I didn't want to be a home wrecker, for God's sake."
"January 10--Oh man, what a night. I went out with this new guy and he turned out to be a real fruit. He took me to dinner, and then we came back here. He wasn't making a move, so I came on kind of strong. But I really liked his hands, and wanted to see how they would feel on my tits. Especially the hairy backs.
"He acted kind of shocked, but we wound up in bed anyway. Not that it was very much. I'd given him a few drinks, and that just about did the poor guy in. I had to suck him for a while to get him stiff enough to fuck. These old guys can be such a bore. When it was all over, he started talking about a relationship. But that's not what I had in mind. I don't think I'll bother to see him again. Besides, he wouldn't rub all that hand hair over my tits."
"January 15--Am I ever horny. I don't know what I wouldn't give to have a nice guy with a thick cock lying next to me right now! I had a date tonight, but it was a bust. The guy was willing enough, but his pecker pooped out after one very fast fuck. I never even came.
"Believe me, I tried to revive it just as hard as I could. But even sucking it while I pulled my head back didn't help. The poor man felt terrible, I feel terrible, and I wonder what the hell is the matter. Life never used to be this complicated.
"Whenever I wanted a good lay, I didn't have to wade through a sea of guys to find it. I don't know--maybe they don't make cocks the way they used to anymore. Or maybe I'm getting old."
"January 18--Oh happy day! I think I've got the solution to my problem. It's not me who's getting old--it's the men I've been dating. I had an experience tonight that made me feel ten years younger. I think I'll start at the beginning.
"I had to work pretty late, and didn't take time off for dinner. So about nine o'clock I pulled into a drive-in restaurant to get a hamburger. I was wearing my red mini skirt with a kind of tight sweater, and I must have looked pretty young from the distance.
"Anyway, I sat there eating when I started to get the feeling that I was being watched. I looked over at the car next to me, and noticed that there was a teen-aged boy sitting there. He was watching me, all right. Studying every curve.
"He was a good looking kid, too. He had wavy brown hair and a good build. I couldn't see his crotch from that angle, but I had the feeling that he was pretty big in the meat department.
"I finished my hamburger. Every once in a while, I looked over at his car. He was still staring hard at my tits. Finally I said hello to him.
" 'Hey, you wanna go over to my place and have some fun ?' he asked in a whisper.
" 'What kind of fun?' I asked him. You hear so much about kids these days--he might want me to take drugs or something.
" 'Oh, maybe a little fucking,' he said.
"Well, I just about died. I mean, he couldn't have been more than sixteen or seventeen, and he wanted to screw me! At first, I sort of told myself to forget it. But then, when I looked over at him again, my pussy started to loosen up.
" 'Okay,' I told him. 'You lead the way and I'll follow.' I wasn't sure if I was really that game. I figured I could change my mind at any time.
"But I didn't. There was just something so exciting about the whole thing. For one thing, he didn't want to waste any time talking. I'm sick of men talking. And it was also obvious that he wasn't going to propose or anything like that. Besides, he was cute.
"I followed him to an apartment house in one of the nicer sections of town. He got out of the car first and waited for me. I followed him a few seconds later.
" 'Golly,' he said when he saw me, 'I thought you were younger.' "That wasn't very tactful, and I felt like telling him so. But then I saw his predicament. He had expected a girl his own age. For all he knew, I could have been the leader of the vice squad.
"But then I got a good look at him, and forgot about his manners. He was wearing tight pants that clearly showed the outline of his cock. It made my mouth water, and my pussy pretty wet too.
" 'I'm not all that old,' I told him with a smile. 'And I'm in pretty good condition.' He gave me the once over, taking in my tits and legs and all.
" 'Yeah, you sure are. Well look, if you want to come in and have some fun, come on.' " 'Okay,' I told him. We walked into the apartment and he turned to me. A second later I was in his arms, feeling his cock pressing into me. I loved the feel of his hard maleness. It seemed so much stronger than the men I'd been dating.
"It didn't take us long to get to the bedroom. We didn't waste any time on introductions or anything like that. We just got out of our clothes and climbed on the bed.
"His cock was all that I hoped it would be. It was long and thick and pulsing--he was ready and so was I.
"We didn't bother with too much foreplay.
Oh, he played around' with my boobs for a little while, but what we both wanted was to feel his prick buried inside me.
"I lay back and he got on top of me. A second later, his sword was buried all the way up to the hilt in my snatch. It felt better than any cock I'd had in years and years.
"He worked fast, pushing and pulling his dork in and out of me at terrific speed. I was kind of used to older men, men who liked to take their time. The boy's urgency was a special treat.
"As he kept thrusting himself into me, my body began to fully respond. My pussy was drenched with cream, so that his dork glided in and out, greased by the product of my desire.
"It didn't take me long to start coming. My God, the way he was pounding in and out of me reminded me of older men on the brink of coming. But I could sense that he wasn't ready for that yet.
"I was. It had been so long since I'd been fucked with such abandon that my cunt began to quiver all over, sending wonderful messages of delight up and down my spine.
"My snatch worked him over pretty well. It grabbed and squeezed and sucked his cock, all by itself. I didn't have to do a thing but lay back and enjoy it all.
"After I stopped coming, he kept working me over. With all his fast pumping, it didn't take long before I was on the brink of another climax.
"The second one was even better than the first! It was slower--like a spiral heading upwards towards a wonderful peak. I reached the pinnacle slowly, savoring every wonderful minute of it.
"Just as I came to the height of my passion, the boy came too. He flooded my cave with what seemed like a steady stream of hot jism. It came at just the right time to bring me almost out of myself.
"I was completely out of control then, and I loved it. I think that I was very close to passing out, but at the same time I had the sensation of being shot out of a cannon into the air on a trip that would last forever.
"When it was over, I lay very still, not wanting to break the spell of sensuality that enveloped both of us. Then it hit me that I didn't even know the boy's name.
"Nor did I care. I figured that I would never see him again. It would be foolish and risky.
" 'Uh, I hate to say anything but my folks will be home in a little while,' the boy finally told me.
" 'Then I guess I'd better split. See you around.' I got dressed and left. I could tell from his silence that that was the way that he wanted it too.
"The whole thing was just so great! I think the younger guys have really got it, both in bed and the way they think. Oh, I've had short things with older men, but with them I always get the feeling that they think they are taking advantage of me."
"January 20--What a disappointing kind of night. I met a new man who looked like he really might have something on the ball. He was very calm and cool, but I felt a current of hot passion bubbling underneath his exterior. He was married, of course.
"Anyway, he took me to a show and then we went to his place. He has an apartment in town, along with a house in the suburbs. After a couple of drinks, he made a pass.
"Naturally I didn't try to fight him off or anything. I liked the way he kissed me and ran his hands all over my body. He was very gentle. At first, it was a real turn-on.
"We undressed each other, and he told me what a great body I have. He did too. Very hard and masculine, with no fat on him at all. And his cock was good looking too.
"We got in bed, and he very gently started to make love to me. That's when I fell off, so to speak. After the boy's raw passion, somehow the man seemed very slow and studied. He pushed his prick in slowly, and it seemed to glide out by itself. He sure didn't waste much effort working on me.
"It wasn't quite a total loss. He took such a long time that I wound up coming. But it was almost automatic, with none of the abandon that I had felt with the boy.
"I wonder if maybe all boys are good in bed. I can't help thinking that it might be a good idea to try to find out."
"January 25--I think I've got it all together, as the kids say. I met another young boy!
"Well, met isn't exactly the word for it. I actually set out looking for one, and it wasn't hard to find.
"I pretty well know where all the kids' hangouts are, so I headed for a pizza place. I sat down and ordered a coke and waited. I looked around a lot, too, and wondered if I could really compete with all the good looking young girls.
"Finally one particular boy caught my eye. He was nice looking, but that wasn't all. There was something about his mouth that told me he had great sensual capacities.
"I stared at him and before long he looked over in my direction. I looked him straight in the eye and smiled a little, letting my tongue quickly flick over my lower lip.
"He was only sixteen, but he was old enough to recognize an invitation when he saw one. He walked over to my table and sat down.
"We didn't waste a whole lot of time talking. He moved close to me, and I put my hand on his thigh, just above his knee. He didn't say anything for a minute.
" 'I don't have any place to take you,' he finally said.
" 'That's all right,' I told him. 'There are lots of motels around here.' I wasn't about to let him know where I lived. So the two of us got into my car and took off.
" 'Look,' he finally said, 'I haven't had a whole lot of experience. I don't know just what you had in mind.' " 'Don't worry about it. Just do what comes naturally and you'll be just fine.' "I could tell that he was a little nervous. I didn't worry about it too much, though. He was willing, and after a little fun I was sure that he would be able.
"When we got to the motel room, I did a very slow, sexy strip for him. As I took off my bra, and then my panties, I took a quick look at his crotch. Sure enough, he was hard and ready for action.
"He got out of his clothes like lightning. Soon we were on the bed, rolling around and biting into each other. I don't know why, but for some reason we gave each other a strange kind of violent reaction.
"But when it got right down to lovemaking, he was a novice. But I didn't let that bother me. I took his hand, and led it down to my pussy. Then I worked it around until he found my clit. I moved his hand up and down on my pulsating love knob until he was playing with me just the way I like it.
"I ran my fingers lightly up and down his cock. I didn't want him to shoot off too soon.
"Finally we were both ready, breathing hard and aching with a full-blown passion. I lay down on my back and he climbed on top of me. I took his cock in my hand, and guided it into my slippery canal.
"Once he was in, he didn't need any more instruction from me. The boy thrust his cock in and out quickly, and it didn't take me long to catch his rhythm. Then I wrapped my legs around his back and moved with him.
"It Was heaven! His youth and strength gave him the power to satisfy me in the way that an older man never could.
"He kept pounding and tearing into my pussy until I couldn't stand it for another minute. I came then, and kept on coming all the time that he was inside me. It was really something else!"
"February 1--Found a cute boy, about fifteen, hitching. Took him home and followed him in. He was shy at first, but it didn't take long to warm him up."
"March 18--Went out with an older man, but I didn't even bother going to bed with him. I knew that he could never satisfy me as well as my young studs."
"September 14--Great time with a boy of fourteen. He didn't need a second invitation to sink his wand into my pussy. And once he got it there, he knew just what to do with it."
"November 7--Picked up an adorable young thing at the movies. He was pretty nervous, so I had to suck him off for quite a while until he could stay hard. Still, it was worth it. His cock felt so good in my mouth that I almost hated to stop. But it felt even better up inside my snatch!"
Interviewer: I've seen by your diary that after you started taking young lovers, you tried to find one about once a week.
Paula: That's right. I would have liked a new one every night, to be honest. But I had other things to do. Besides, most of the younger ones could only make it on weekends.
Interviewer: Did you ever get emotionally attached to any of the boys?
Paula: No, of course not.
Interviewer: Why?
Paula: Because I only saw most of them once.
Interviewer: Why was that?
Paula: It just seemed too risky to have any kind of an extended affair with a young boy. After all, they do talk, and I didn't want to face any irate parents.
Interviewer: You realize, then, that the parents would certainly not approve of your sleeping with the boys.
Paula: Of course. But that's their hang-up, not mine.
Interviewer: I take it you see nothing wrong with it.
Paula: Of course not. Why should I? I gave them a damned good time, and introduced quite a few of them to sex.
Interviewer: And you don't see anything harmful in that?
Paula: No, I don't. Look, if it hadn't been me, they would have found some young girl to experiment with. I'm sure that most of them did eventually, and I hope that screwing me helped them to satisfy their girlfriends.
Interviewer: I see.
Paula: I don't think that you do. The young guys today are looking for experiences like the ones I gave them. Great sex with no strings attached. And that's what I'm interested in, too.
Interviewer: Did you completely stop dating men your own age?
Paula: No, of course not.
Interviewer: But why?
Paula: Look, just because I've never been in love, or married, doesn't mean that I don't like men. I do. Very much. They are fun to go out with, to talk to.
Interviewer: Didn't the young boys take their place?
Paula: Only in bed. I never really talked to the boys, or bothered to get interested in them as people.
Interviewer: I see. But weren't you ever tempted to?
Paula: Not especially. Look, to be perfectly blunt about the whole thing, I look at them as nothing more than sex objects. I don't think that I'm using them, any more than they are using me. I'm not interested in anything but their tender your bodies.
Interviewer: Tell me, did you ever have a failure? A boy who refused your advances?
Paula: Oh, yes. More than one, actually.
Interviewer: Why weren't they interested? Or did they all have different reasons?
Paula: I guess I could lump them into two or three different categories. Some of them were just plain stuffy. They didn't think that sex was nice. It didn't take me long to learn how to spot that kind. They all looked so constipated.
The other kind wasn't interested in me because they had girls of their own. Usually they were going steady, and very romantic about the whole thing.
Interviewer: Did you ever feel rejected by them?
Paula: In the beginning I guess I did. But I learned not to take it personally. Once, though, I did get pretty shot down.
Interviewer: What happened?
Paula: Oh, I saw this really gorgeous boy in a restaurant. He looked sexy as hell, and pretty experienced, too. So I made my approach. At first, it looked like he was ready to play ball. But then he asked me how much I paid.
Interviewer: And that made you feel bad?
Paula: It sure did. It reminded me of how old I am. And also that I may have to wind up paying eventually.
Interviewer: Why is that?
Paula: Look, the main reason that I can find so many boys now is that I am still a good looking woman. But that won't last forever. In another ten or twenty years, I'll look old.
Interviewer: And then you would consider paying for sex?
Paula: Why not? Men do it all the time.
Interviewer: Yes, but...
Paula: Why is it any worse for me to buy a thick young cock? Many older men support young girls every day of the week and that doesn't bother anyone.
Interviewer: Then you have no plans to give up your young boys.
Paula: None at all. Why should I? I need a good fuck to keep me happy. And I'm not the kind of woman who believes in making herself miserable. If I wanted to do that, I would have gotten married.
SUMMARY
Many women, because of their backgrounds, grow up with a severe and deep-seated distrust of men and marriage. In such a case, there are three alternatives.
A woman can try to overcome this distrust. As a young girl, she may find herself attracted to boys, but fight that attraction. However, if she should give in, she could discover that not all men are as bad as she had formerly believed.
Of course, this is a risky business. The girl may become involved with a young man who has the same characteristics as her father. This is not at all uncommon. And if this happens, her belief that men are all the same will be reinforced. However, many women are lucky enough to find a man who will help them to regain their faith in the male sex.
The second alternative is a complete rejection of men. This, in many cases, leads to lesbianism. Every woman, whether she likes men or. not, is born with a sex drive. If she cannot let herself become involved with a man, she may welcome the attentions of another woman.
Because of the new sexual freedom in this country, lesbianism is becoming more and more open. Women are willing to 'come out,' or make their lesbianism known.
There are a great many lesbians in the Women's Lib Movement. This is simply because lesbians have always had to compete with men, since they were not under the dominating protection of a man.
The third alternative, and the one that Paula chose, was complete rejection of feeling. She knew, or thought she knew, what men were like and chose not to get involved with them. At least not emotionally involved.
In one way, Paula was just a little luckier than many women in her situation. In spite of the way that her mother was treated by her father, the mother still maintained a great deal of sexual desire.
Because of this, Paula grew up with two thoughts in her mind. First of all, men were rotten and it would be a mistake to ever become seriously involved with one.
But, at the same time, they could be a great deal of fun sexually. Because of these two facts, Paula decided that the obvious thing to do was to enjoy the part of them that she could, and forget about any kind of serious involvement.
At the same time, as Paula herself admitted, she found that she respected her father for the freedom that he had. She hated the man for what he did to her mother, but she couldn't really respect her mother, who continued to be a victim.
Actually, it is because of the way she felt about her father that allowed her to live the kind of life that she did. Paula took what she wanted from men, and when they tried to give her more she cut them off.
Paula acted, thought, and felt like a man. A rather disturbed man, to be sure, but not like a woman. She was the aggressor, the one who initiated most of her sexual encounters. She was also the one who decided when the relationship should end.
In a way, it is almost inevitable that Paula turned to young boys for her sexual satisfaction. She believed that it was because they were better lovers, which was undoubtedly true.
But there is another, deeper reason. Paula felt less threatened by them. She knew that she could handle them with no trouble or argument. They would give her what she wanted, no questions asked.
Paula, a realist, probably saw her own future quite clearly. There is a good chance that her prediction will come true. She will end up paying for her pleasures, and not minding at all. After all, that's what men do.
CHAPTER THREE - INCEST
Incest is as old as recorded time. In our society, we consider it to be a universal taboo. However, this is not necessarily true. In other countries, incest is accepted, and sometimes even encouraged.
Before the missionaries invaded Hawaii and changed her culture, incest was demanded of the monarchy. And in other cultures, where the family sleeps together in one room, incest is taken as a matter of course.
As Freud discovered, every individual has the desire to commit incest at one time in his life. In childhood, every little boy wants to grow up to marry his mother. And each little girl wants to marry her father.
In a normal situation, as the boy and girl grow older they will become less attached to their parents and more attached to someone their own age.
All the same, incest is on the increase although we hear very little about it. There are two reasons for this, as Dr. S. Kirson Weinberg points out in his book, Incest Behavior.
The first reason is that most people who have been brought up to believe that incest is a terrible taboo, ignore the possibility. Even when the evidence is almost in front of their noses, the thought that the man next door is having an affair with his daughter is almost beyond their comprehension.
The second reason is that when incest does occur in a family, the family members tend to hush it up. A divorce or separation may result, but other reasons for it besides the incest will always be given.
Among reported incidences of incest, the most common is father-daughter. After that comes brother-sister, and finally, mother-son. This would lead us to believe that incestuous pedophilia is very rare.
However, before we make this assumption we must take a closer look. As we have noted, most families do not make any kind of report. They want it to be hushed up at all possible costs.
The truth is that most incestuous behavior is discovered when the girl involved becomes pregnant. Pressed by her mother and authorities for the name of the father, she may unwillingly divulge that it was her father or brother who impregnated her.
This situation does not occur in the mother-son relationship. The boy cannot become pregnant, and the mother generally knows how to prevent such a problem.
It is interesting to note that there is a great deal of oral sex involved in incest. There are two reasons for this.
In the first place, oral sex does not involve the risk of pregnancy. It gives pleasure to both partners without having to worry about any kind of contraception. While intercourse may come later, a great many incestuous affairs begin orally.
In the second place, a partner in an incestuous affair may find that oral sex allows him to fool himself psychologically. Many people consider that intercourse constitutes an affair. Therefore, a parent who enjoys oral caresses with his child may not consider it true incest, but just a bit of fooling around.
What causes a woman to take her son as a lover? Obviously, one of her problems must be either no husband, or a very bad relationship with him. Some women, who are terribly frustrated in many ways, desire total possession of their children.
The incestuous form of pedophilia has the largest chance of having a permanent effect on the boy. It may make him unable to relate to girls his own age throughout his life. A great deal depends on the length and intensity of the relationship, however. Many boys do recover without any permanent scars.
CASE HISTORY
Nora B., a thirty-six year old woman, became involved sexually with her thirteen year old son. After several months, she began psychiatric treatment.
"Looking back over the past six months, it seems almost like a cloud settled over me. I don't think that I really knew what I was doing.
"I've always had a difficult life. My parents were killed in an accident when I was nine and I went to live with an aunt and uncle that I had never met before.
"They were very nice to me, but they weren't used to being around kids. I don't think they knew what they were doing. They quickly read a lot of drivel about child psychology, and decided that permissiveness was best.
"So, all of a sudden, I was allowed to do just about any old thing that I wanted to. At first, it was a lot of fun. Ice cream for breakfast, not school if I didn't feel like going, as much TV as I wanted.
"But after a few months I started to wish that they were more like my own parents. They were strict and firm with me, but I never doubted that they loved me.
"I guess I can give my aunt and uncle credit for one thing--they didn't give me a lot of funny business about sex. When I had a question, I asked them and they gave me the answer.
"When I was about thirteen, all my friends were going through some kind of sexual obsession. I guess I did too, but not as strongly. They read all the dirty books and wondered how everything would feel.
"My first sexual experience was with another girl. She was my best friend, and we were together almost constantly. She was very curious about how things would feel, and soon I had caught her curiosity myself.
"If there had been an older boy available, I think we might have made a play for him. But there wasn't. We didn't know any older boys, and the boys our own age still hated girls.
"So we turned to each other. I'll never forget the first time that we did anything. I was spending the night with her because her parents were at a party and wouldn't be home until quite late.
"She had a double bed in her room and we were both inside it talking and giggling. It wasn't long before the talk turned to sex.
" 'I wonder what it would feel like to have someone feel you up,' she said.
" 'I don't know,' I told her. Then she asked me if I would do it to her. I wasn't wild about the idea, but I agreed. I put my hand on her breast and kept it there for a minute. Then I took it away.
" 'Now I'll do you,' she told me. She was a lot more adventuress than I was about the whole thing. She unbuttoned my pajamas and put her hand on my bare tit. Then she began to massage the nipple with her thumb and finger.
"Until then, I don't think I had much interest in sex. But as her fingers kept on touching me, my nipples got hard. At the same time, my box began to tingle.
"She really liked to touch me, and I didn't do anything to stop her. I just lay back while she moved her hands over my breasts. Then she began to move one hand lower down over my belly.
"When it was just above my bush, I realized that she was going to touch and play with my cunt. At first, the idea shocked me just a little. But as her gentle hands kept moving, my pussy started to ache from wanting to be touched.
"She covered my entire cunt with her hand first. Then she moved it closer until she had a good grip on my box. She started rubbing then, rubbing hard.
"My cave was leaking a lot by then, and she kind of rubbed the juice on the sheets every now and then. Her palm covered my clit, as her fingers moved further back to explore my hole.
"By then, my quim was just aching and itching like mad. She slowly put one finger inside and started moving it around. It felt good, especially when she started to pump it in and out.
"She kept on asking me how it felt, and I told her it was great. Then I realized that she would want me to do the same thing to her. I wasn't sure if I wanted to or not. The idea of fingering another girl didn't turn me off, exactly. But it didn't turn me on, either.
"After a while, she got tired of working her hand over my pussy, finger-fucking me, and everything else. I hadn't come, but I'd enjoyed the experience a lot.
"I was just about to touch her cunt when we heard her parents come in. I felt like I'd been saved just in time, although I didn't understand why.
"The girl and I played around like that a few more times before she had to move away. I finally did diddle her clit and finger her, but she didn't get that big a charge out of it. I think she was happiest when her lips were on my tit and her finger was up in my snatch.
"I often wonder what happened to her. Unless something drastic happened, she probably became a lez. She was heading in that direction, anyway.
"After she moved, I was mixed up. In one way, I was relieved since I'd felt a little bit funny about the whole thing. But after she was gone, I found that I missed her an awful lot. My pussy would ache for her touch at night, and there was nothing I could do about it.
"I tried playing with myself, but that didn't do too much good. It's funny, but I've never been able to masturbate very well. Not even when I was young. Instead, I only get myself all hot and bothered and twice as horny as when I started.
"It's too bad, in a way. Maybe if I'd been able to play with myself, I wouldn't have... Oh well, what's the use. Hindsight never does anyone any good.
"After the girl moved, I wanted sex but not from another girl. It was like I'd had it with that scene. It wasn't because I was afraid I'd turn into a dyke, or anything like that. In fact, whenever she played around with me I always imagined she was a boy. "It just seemed to me that it was time to move onto something a little different. Besides, my boobs got bigger every day and boys were beginning to notice me.
"Because of the way my uncle and aunt were, I never had any trouble getting them to let me go out with boys. They figured that they had told me what I needed to know, and from then on it was up to me.
"I guess they were right. I knew enough not to get knocked up, and that was a help. But, at the same time, I was pretty naive about what I felt.
"It's easy to listen to someone talk about fucking. I mean, there is a cock and a pussy and they get together. But what no one ever told me was that I would want it, want it more than anything else in the world before I was mature enough to handle it.
"My first affair with a boy was a disaster, at least emotionally. It started in the summer, and ended after the summer was over.
"My aunt and uncle belonged to a country club which had a pool. During the summer, I spent most of my time there, swimming and just being lazy. It had always been very relaxing.
"But the summer when I was fourteen was different. In the first place, my body had changed drastically. All of a sudden I had big boobs and good legs. I bought an adult bathing suit, and looked damned good in it.
"Besides that, I was looking for sex. I didn't understand it then, but I do now. My body was ready. It had tasted just a little of the delight that it was capable of and it wanted more.
"So I went to the pool every day. It wasn't long before boys were clustering around me-- older boys. They were all very nice, but in typical teenage fashion I got a tremendous crush on the lifeguard.
"He was a good looking guy and I was wild about him. When he smiled at me it made my day.
"At first, he treated me like any other young kid. But I think he sensed something in me, something besides the fact that I had a crush on him. That was pretty obvious to everyone.
"I don't think anything ever would have come of it if I hadn't decided to make things more obvious. I began hanging around him more and more, talking to him about sex and telling him dirty jokes. That was enough to get him pretty hot, I guess.
"He finally asked me for a date and I said yes right away. If I'd had a brain in my head, I would have known that he just wanted a piece of ass. But I thought he really liked me.
"He took me to a movie. Afterwards, when he asked me what time I had to be home, I told him it didn't matter. So he took me to his place and tried to get me drunk. That didn't work, since I'd been drinking for years. I was kind of a wild kid, and no one ever told me not to be. I think my aunt and uncle figured that I would outgrow the drinking thing when I got older. They were right about that.
"Anyway, the boy made a pass and I was more than ready. His name, I think, was Jimmy. And all he had to do was kiss me before my cave got moist and damp and itching for his cock.
"He acted funny, come to think of it. Like he didn't believe that I was ready to fuck. But he had a surprise coming, because every time he kissed me my pussy got hotter and wetter.
"He finally started undressing me. Then he played with my tits and sucked them. He did it much better than the girl had, or maybe it just seemed like it because I was so crazy about him.
"Before he knew it, I'd taken my panties off and sprawled on the bed. He stripped fast and got on top of me.
"The sight of his cock turned me on even more. He didn't really have such a big one, but compared to the fingers that I was used to it looked just great. I was sure that it was just what I needed to ease the ache in my sex-hungry body.
"It slipped in easily enough, but he must have felt my cherry pop because he told me that he hadn't realized I still had it. I just told him not to worry about it, because I wasn't going to.
"He looked a little worried and doubtful, but what could he do? His cock was already inside me, buried all the way so that I could feel his balls against my ass.
"Then he started pumping in and out of me, ramming his thickness into my moist cave again and again. It was so much better than a finger! I knew that it would be, but the actual thing surpassed all my expectations!
"I came that night, for the first time in my life. It was strange. I didn't know what was the matter with me at first. I had no control over myself and I wondered if the screwing had somehow injured my brain or something.
"But once I figured out what was happening, I gave myself over to all the pleasure that was flooding through my body.
"The boy came soon after that, shooting his wad deep inside my hole. It was hot and burned all the way up to the very core of my womanhood. I loved it!
"The rest of that summer was just heaven! Since I could do as I pleased, I was with him almost every night. We never talked a lot, and I wasn't sure that I even liked him. But I was wild about him anyway. His cock made me happier than I had ever felt in my life.
"In the fall, we broke up. Actually, to put it crudely, he dumped me. I was only fourteen, and he wasn't about to belittle himself by going with a kid while the whole school looked on. He was seventeen, you see. A grown man by comparison.
"Naturally, I was just miserable. For a few weeks I wouldn't look at another boy. But time does heal things. Besides, I saw him with the girl he switched to a couple of times. She was his age, but ugly as sin. Flat as a board. I smiled at both of them and thrust out my tits.
"Along with that--my cunt was used to fucking. After the misery passed, I was horny as hell. I wanted to get laid so bad that it really hurt. And, as I said before, trying to do something about it myself just made it worse.
"The idea of looking for another guy to fuck me didn't turn me on either. But that's finally what I did. I went to a part of town where not too many people knew me, and picked up a good looking guy. He was in his twenties, so I didn't tell him how old I really was.
"That's about the way my life went for the next three years. I kept telling myself that I didn't need sex, but my body couldn't hear very well. So I picked up a guy about once a month or so. Then I felt better. At least until I got desperate again.
"I dated a lot, too, but I played frigid with most of the guys. I didn't want to get too involved. The thing with the lifeguard left a scar deep inside me, a scar that was very hard to erase as a young girl.
"But as I got older and started college, I found that I could look at the whole thing more realistically. I had fallen in love and gotten dumped. It wasn't a major tragedy, not even a minor one. It happened to other girls every day of the week.
"I know it isn't fashionable to say this now, but the main reason I went to college was to look for a husband. I knew that I wanted someone who was smart and kind and nice. It didn't take me more than a year to find him, either.
"Before I did, I kept my nose clean and my pussy starving. As much as I wanted a guy to fuck me, I thought that it would be a disaster. I wasn't just out for kicks anymore, I was playing for real. And I wanted to play by the rules.
"Sometimes, when I hear about kids today, I think how much happier I'd be if I'd been born ten or fifteen years later. I would have had a ball! In fact, I would have been a totally different person.
"But I wasn't, and there's no real point in speculation. I am what I am and all that.
"Anyway, when I met Roy I just knew that he was the one for me. I can't explain just what I saw in him or why. He wasn't that great looking, and he didn't pay too much attention to me at first. All I can say is that it was chemistry at work.
"Once I made him aware that I was alive, he asked me out a couple of times. He made a couple of passes, which I put down. It was hard to fight him off when my heart, and certainly not my cunt, weren't in it. But I did it.
"He was very sweet and nice and sincere. I was the first girl he had ever really been interested in and I was flattered. After a couple of months, we were making out a lot.
"It was the most frustrating thing I ever went through. We would lay down on the back seat of his car, him on top of me. And he kissed me, long, lingering kisses that set me on fire.
"I could feel his cock getting hard all the time, pressing against my body. He begged and pleaded to come into my pussy where it was soft and warm and waiting.
"But I resisted the whole thing. I had the feeling that I would get dumped if I put out. I wondered a few times about my wedding night, since I had already decided to marry him. I knew, though, that I could act inexperienced to some degree. Making out like it was my first time would actually be no real problem at all.
"So we got married after two years of terrible frustration. On vacations, when I was home, I found boys to stop the itch in my pussy. But then I felt terribly disloyal. All the same, I couldn't seem to be able to help myself.
"I needed sex. I guess I always did and I always will. I've heard and read about women who say that they don't need it at all. But I'm not like that. I just can't seem to be able to do without it.
"Our honeymoon was wonderful. Roy was very considerate and tender. Also very surprised. He had always heard that girls didn't enjoy sex until they'd been married for a couple of months. I talked him out of that one fast.
"Our marriage was nice too, while it lasted. I had Timmy and Roy was crazy about him. But not crazy enough to keep him home at night.
"Roy turned out to be a real bastard. Even though I understand him better now, I still don't like him. After being married for three years, and getting all the sex he could ever want or need, he decided to start playing around.
"At first, I ignored all the evidence. The working late, the decreased interest in me, just passed right over my head. Then some bitch wrote me a letter.
"I showed it to Roy and asked him what it was all about. He hemmed and hawed and then admitted that he was sleeping with his secretary. I kept asking him why, and he tried to tell me he didn't know. But I finally pinned him down. I'll never forget what he said to me.
" 'Nora, you're a woman so I can't expect you to really understand. It's just that, well, you are the only girl I'd made it with. I just had to see if I'd been missing anything.' "That pissed me off more than anything. It wasn't like I was frigid or something like that. I got so damned mad that I told him a few things, like the fifty or sixty other guys who'd had me before he did.
"And that did it. It was strange. We tried to work things out for a year or so. I was willing to forgive and forget the secretary, because I could well understand why he might need to try out another cunt. Besides, he told me later that I was much better than she was.
"No, the problem was that he couldn't forgive me. He just couldn't scratch from his mind the fact that I had slept with quite a few other men before I met him.
"At first, I thought it was the silliest thing I'd ever heard. I thought he was joking. After all, I didn't know him then. Luckily I hadn't mentioned the guys I'd picked up while we were going together.
"I finally had to admit that it was over. He just couldn't forget about it. In fact, it almost became an obsession with him. My aunt got-very sick at about that time, so I took Timmy and went to nurse her. Roy came down on weekends.
"That was awful! We used to go into town and naturally I ran into a lot of boys I had gone to school with. And every time, after Roy had been introduced and the boy was out of earshot, Roy would whisper, 'Was he one of them? How was he in bed?' "Well, no woman can put up with that kind of crap for very long. Especially since I hadn't looked at another man during the five years of our marriage.
"Strangely enough, he was willing to believe that. I suppose it was because I had always been such a tiger in bed. But sex was getting pretty rare with us.
"You see, every time he would get hard and get on top of me and start to fuck, he would think about all the others. And then he would wilt. I tried everything to get him hard again, but it was never much use. Besides, he always wanted to know where I had learned whatever it was that I was doing.
"So when Timmy was five, I packed up his things and my things and walked out. Roy was very good about the divorce, and he was always extra generous with alimony and child support and stuff like that.
"He didn't want to see Timmy, though. I think he just hated the idea of seeing me again so much that he was willing to sacrifice seeing his son. I didn't give a damn, though. Just as long as the checks came every month, and they did, I was happy.
"The next nine years flew by quickly. I was very busy taking care of Timmy. Then, one day, I suddenly discovered that he wasn't a little boy anymore."
Interviewer: There are some questions I would like to ask you about those years, if you don't mind.
Nora: Of course not. Go right ahead. Ask anything you like. I'm still trying to get all this straight in my own head. Talking about it sometimes helps.
Interviewer: Thank you. Now, first of all, what did you do during all that time?
Nora: I don't know. The usual things. Cub Scouts, PTA, charity drives. That kind of thing.
Interviewer: Then you didn't work?
Nora: No. Roy believed that Timmy needed me at home, and was willing to pay to keep me there.
Interviewer: I see. And what about sexual activity during this time?
Nora: There wasn't any.
Interviewer: Why not? I mean, you were divorced. It seems only natural that you should date.
Nora: I know. Looking back, I was a fool. But I didn't want anything to do with sex or men. In the first place, Roy told me that he would be watching me. If I tried to screw around, he would take Timmy.
Interviewer: But surely you knew that an affair or so wouldn't enable him to do that.
Nora: Yes, I realized that. But I didn't want an affair, exactly. I wanted to get fucked, when I thought about it, which was pretty often at first.
Interviewer: I don't understand the difference.
Nora: It's simple. Getting fucked means finding a man with a nice prick and spreading my legs. An affair means finding someone I like well enough for a long range deal.
Interviewer: And you couldn't find anyone?
Nora: I wasn't interested in looking. After Roy and I broke up, I was all dead inside. I couldn't face going out with a man, talking to him, dating him. I didn't want to fall in love again.
Interviewer: Then you were in love with your husband?
Nora: Of course I was. Even after the divorce, I kept on hoping that he would come back to me. Maybe that's another reason why I didn't try to find anyone else.
Interviewer: But he didn't come back.
Nora: No, he didn't. And after a year or so, I stopped hoping. And when I found out two years later that he had remarried, my only emotion was hope that he would keep on sending the extra money.
Interviewer: But how did you feel about sex during this time?
Nora: Oh, the usual way. I wanted it, wanted it so badly that I could taste it. Honestly. All I had to do was lay down and start thinking about some man touching my tits, just touching them, and I started to cream up.
Interviewer: It must have taken a great deal of self control to refrain from doing anything about it.
Nora: Yes, it did. Although I have to confess that it was mostly Timmy who kept me steady. I was crazy about that kid. I practically worshipped him.
Interviewer: Tell me, when did you first begin to have sexual interest in him?
Nora: Oh, from the time he was an infant. I breast fed him for the first three months or so, and I think it started there.
Interviewer: You mean that aroused you sexually?
Nora: Damned right it did. And any woman who says it doesn't is a damned liar. Look, you sit there and this kid sucks and sucks on your tits. You can't remember every second that he's your baby, or at least I couldn't. After a while, I only knew that my pussy was starting to tingle.
Interviewer: I see. And did the sexual interest continue?
Nora: More or less. I can't lie about it. That wouldn't do me any good at all. I remember being fascinated by his tiny little cock. I used to like to hold it and play with it until it almost got hard.
Interviewer: Did you think that this was acceptable behavior?
Nora: I didn't really think about it. Roy and I were still together so I was getting my kicks in bed with him. The thing with Timmy didn't have that much meaning.
Interviewer: Did the sex play continue as the boy got older?
Nora: Yes, I suppose that it did, not that I thought of it in that way. After Roy and I split up, I decided that Timmy needed lots of extra love and attention. So I started to coddle him.
Interviewer: What do you mean?
Nora: I held him a lot. Let him sit in my lap and play with my boobs. He seemed to like it, so I let him do it.
Interviewer: Did you like it?
Nora: It wasn't bad. Look, I go crazy when anyone touches my tits, even my kid.
Interviewer: Did you continue to fondle his penis?
Nora: Well, by then I didn't have to change his diapers. But I did fiddle with it a lot when I gave him his bath and stuff like that. Not in a sexy way, just in fun.
Interviewer: What did the boy think of all this attention?
Nora: He thought it was fun, that's all. What else could he think? He was only a little kid.
Interviewer: Uh, yes. So for nine years you had no sex with men, and spent a great deal of time playing with your son.
Nora: When you put it like that it sounds so nasty. But it wasn't, not really. I was a damned good mother, until I sort of fell apart. And as soon as I get it together again I'll be just fine and so will Timmy. You'll see.
Interviewer: I hope so. Now then, tell me, did you date at all?
Nora: Not for the first couple of years. After that I did, but not very much.
Interviewer: Why not? You are an attractive young woman. Surely you must have had offers.
Nora: A few. But let's face it, I was stuck at home with a kid. Very few men wander around knocking on doors looking for dates. I had no way to meet men, except by going to bars and places like that. And I knew where that kind of pick-up led.
Interviewer: Do you think that you would have been better off if you had gone out with men?
Nora: I suppose so. But if I had, I would have wound up sleeping with them. Still, in the long run I guess it would have worked out much better.
Interviewer: Now then, if you don't mind, tell us about the affair with your son.
"AH right. But I don't really think of it as an affair, just something that, well, happened.
"It had been such a long time since I'd had any kind of sex that you would have thought I'd forgotten all about it. But I hadn't. My pussy was always itching to beat the band and nothing I did helped at all.
"Timmy was getting older, and one day he seemed all grown up. Even though he was only thirteen at the time, he looked much older. He began picking out his own clothes, and when he wore tight pants I could see a slight bulge.
"We were still on very good terms. He used to tell me just about everything that happened to him. One day he told me that he had gotten an erection.
"Suddenly, everything seemed so different. I wasn't living with a boy anymore. I was living with a man, a man who was capable of fucking. That changed my attitude completely.
"I still thought about having a cock inside me, but instead of a man's cock I started to think about Timmy's. I knew that it was silly, but I started daydreaming about it quite a lot.
"I didn't want him to fuck me, not really. But at the same time, I became more and more obsessed with the idea of having some kind of sex with him.
"One day, when I came home from the store, I didn't see Timmy. I thought he was out playing with his friends, so I went in to clean up his room.
"There he was, sprawled out on the bed. His cock was hard and pointing straight up in the air. His hand was wrapped around it and he was slowly moving it up and down.
"When he heard me, he let go and sat up, quickly pulling the blanket over him. But I could still see the outline of his dork thrusting against the covers.
"Naturally he was embarrassed. He turned bright red and waited for me to do something. I guess he expected me to bawl him out. But I didn't. Instead, I guess I went a little crazy.
"I sat down on the edge of the bed and started talking to him. I can't remember exactly what I said, but it was something about how wonderful sex was and how he shouldn't feel ashamed about it.
"After a few minutes, I could tell that Timmy was becoming more relaxed. As soon as I had lulled him into some kind of feeling of security, I pulled the blanket down and exposed his limp prick.
"It was so sweet as it lay there nestled in his curling thatch of hair. For a minute, I just looked at it longingly.
"Timmy was surprised, of course, and asked me what I was doing. I told him that there were better ways to get his rocks off than by playing with himself.
"I could tell that the boy was shocked, but I'd expected that. I knew, though, that once I got my hand, and my mouth, on his prick that he would forget to worry about anything.
"Before he had a chance to move, or even to say anything, I took his penis in my hand. I began massaging it very gently, letting my fingers move over the sensitive head and down the shaft.
"Timmy looked very surprised, but he wasn't putting up any kind of fuss. In fact, he gave me the impression that he was enjoying the whole thing.
"It wasn't too long before his cock began to swell and grow. It was an amazing thing. As I held it in my hand I could feel the blood pulsing into it, making it stiff.
"As it kept getting harder, I thought how nice it would be to have it inside my snatch. But I knew that that would be wrong. I don't know why I thought the other was so right, but it was.
"I touched his prick until it was as hard and stiff as it could get. Then I held it by the base as I lowered my mouth over it.
"Timmy gave a jerk that almost tore his dork out of my mouth. But then he lay still again, as I began to work my tongue over the head of his cock.
"It was so great to have a prick inside me again, even if it was only in my mouth. I licked it all over, paying special attention to the head, both front and back. Then I let the tip of my tongue snake into the tiny hole at the end.
"Timmy was on fire by then, and so was I. I started sucking very gently on his cock, not wanting to make him come too soon. At the same time, it was almost as though my pussy was linked to my mouth. I could feel the lips of my cunt begin to pull in as though I was sucking down there, too.
"As I moved my mouth up and down over his cock, I sucked my cheeks in so that there was a nice, tight fit. At the same time, I kept using my tongue to run over the head again and again.
"After a couple of minutes, I tasted the first drop of his cream. It was young and sweet and tender, just like Timmy. I rolled it around in my mouth for a few seconds to savor the taste of it before I finally swallowed it down. I knew that there would be more coming!
"Timmy began to moan and turn on the bed. He was in the throes of passion and I had trouble keeping his dork in my mouth for a minute. But I managed to hold him down.
"All the same, I knew that the end was near. He was bucking underneath me, thrusting his cock into my mouth and down my throat. I began sucking hard, and as I sucked I pulled my head back at the same time. That drove the boy wild.
"He came soon after that. The first shot of his juice filled my mouth up fast. I gulped it down and waited for more. I didn't have to wait very long. Soon my mouth was full again. That time I didn't gulp it down in such a hurry. I wanted to be sure to savor every drop of his sweet young fluid.
"He shot another wad into my mouth and then stopped. I sucked at his cock just a little bit more, nibbling on the head of his prick. I was rewarded by a few more drops of his tasty cream.
"After it was over, my pussy began to quiver. I was on the brink of coming! I couldn't believe that I was going to climax just from sucking a cock, but that's what happened.
"It was a damned good orgasm, too. Not as good as I'd had after a session of fucking, but still pretty nice.
"When it was over, Timmy looked up at me with surprise all over his face. I just smiled at him and left the room. I went to my own room and sat down on the bed.
"At first, I couldn't believe what I had done. After all, the boy was my own son! But it didn't take me very long to rationalize the whole thing. I hadn't let him fuck me or anything like that, so I decided that the episode was meaningless.
"I decided not to repeat it. But I found that I couldn't help myself. And Timmy wanted it too. Every afternoon, when he came home from school, he would hang around me, begging me with his eyes to suck his cock. And I did.
"I guess the truth of what I was doing hit me several months later when the school called and asked me to come in for a conference. The counsellor told me that Timmy had changed drastically. He had dropped his extra-curricular activities, stopped doing most of his homework, and didn't pay attention in his classes.
"They thought he was on drugs. But I knew better. And I realized then that I had to stop blowing the kid, or I'd really blow his mind. I told the school that I would see what I could find out.
"I told Timmy that same day that our playing around would have to stop. He acted disappointed and relieved at the same time. Naturally I made it very clear that it would be a disaster if he told anyone what we'd done.
"Then I made an appointment with the psychiatrist and began getting myself straightened out."
SUMMARY
It was clear, from the very beginning, that Nora had many, many problems which had culminated in incest and pedophilia. However, in one way she was lucky. She knew that she needed help and sought it.
Many women in Nora's position continue to rationalize and evade the knowledge which is truly obvious. These women eventually wind up in very bad shape, because deep down they know what they are doing.
Nora had a great many problems, as we have noted before. First of all her upbringing had given her no real moral sense. Her aunt and uncle, though well-meaning had actually run out on their responsibility. Child psychologists today are aware that each child must have limits set for him. Nora had none.
Therefore, she went through her period of hedonism unhampered by any restrictions. At the same time, the girl knew that her behavior was unacceptable to the majority of society and so she was careful to keep it hidden from her peers.
Obviously Nora had an extremely well-developed sex drive. She had been brought up to believe that sex was natural and good, and so she did believe it. At the same time, since she had no real restrictions, she had trouble identifying with her peers.
This is what led her into trouble. She knew what the rules were, and once she decided to live by them she did with only a few lapses. However, the life she was living was no longer her own. Instead of reacting the way she reacted, she first tried to determine what other people would like her to be. Because of this, she turned to lying and deceit.
Her trouble with Roy stemmed from this. She was in truth a different person from the girl he thought he had married. And when he discovered it, he could no longer accept her.
That was a crushing blow to the woman. It made her all the more determined to deny her true self and live by what she thought were the rules. And so she denied her sexual nature for nine years.
When it erupted again with her son, she was truly beyond helping herself. She didn't like what she was doing to the boy, but until her eyes were opened by an outsider she couldn't force herself to stop.
Luckily, in Nora's case, treatment was very successful. She soon learned that she had the right to her sexual identity. At the same time, she realized that promiscuity was not the answer. After several months of treatment, she found a man who appreciated her for what she was. They were married a year later.
CHAPTER FOUR - THE GIGOLO
The word 'gigolo' usually invokes a very unsavory image. Immediately, the mind conjures up a good-looking man with black wavy hair who lives off rich older women.
Naturally, not all gigolos are like that, especially in the United States. Here, the gigolo is a struggling young artist or painter or writer who gets adopted by a wealthy patron of the arts. To repay her interest and devotion, the young man is expected to make passionate love to her.
Why do only older women pay for their sexual pleasures as a rule? Simone de Beauvior explains in The Second Sex.
"But as a rule, they must be old to be able to dissociate sex and sentiment so crudely, since in feminine adolescence the two are most profoundly associated, as we have seen."
Since time began, men have been taking younger women as mistresses, setting them up in apartments and lavishing gifts upon them. The men may be considered foolhardy by their friends, but they are never objects of ridicule unless they truly go too far.
On the other hand, as soon as it is known that a woman is paying for a lover, she is looked upon with pity and scorn.
The reason for this is quite clear. Women, on the whole, are viewed as sex objects by men and women alike, whether they realize it or not. A man who buys a young girl is buying an object. On the other hand, a woman who must pay for sex is flaunting her independence publicly. She refuses to take herself seriously as a sex object. If she did, she would not be able to contemplate losing her sexual attraction enough to force her to pay.
And what wounds masculine pride even more is the fact that she is using a man as a sex object. She has bought him, the way that a man buys a mistress or a prostitute.
Interestingly enough, many women who support young men are very attractive. They could easily find a lover among their friends and acquaintances. But they do not choose to do this.
There are many reasons why. Some women find that they are too tired of all the emotional wear and tear that goes with an affair. For them, it is much simpler to pay with money rather than feelings.
Other women, who are extremely rich, always find themselves wondering if the man is interested in them or their money. If they pay a young man to make love to them, at least they are sure of where they stand.
Another reason is that many rich women become accustomed, throughout their lives, to give orders to everyone around them. They want things their way. No man is willing to give a woman that kind of domination over him unless he is being well-paid for it.
Things have changed considerably within the past few years, and so have people's attitudes. It is interesting to note that Midnight Cowboy, a film about a boy who wanted to sell himself to women, won an Academy Award for best picture of the year.
What of the boys themselves? They come from all walks of life. Like the promiscuous girl who turns to prostitution, their attitude is sometimes "As long as I'm doing it anyway I may as well get paid for it."
Other young men who have creative ability in some way may find that it is easier to work on their pet project while a woman is supporting them than it would be if they had to get a job.
All these young men realize that they only have a limited time to engage in this sort of activity. As we have mentioned before, the younger a man is the more potent he is. Once he loses his extreme potency, he will be out of a job. There will be thousands of other young men looking to take his place.
CASE HISTORY
Mike R., an attractive twenty-three year old boy, has been living on the money he gets from women since he was nineteen. (Source: primary research.) Interviewer: Can you tell me, in ten words or less, why you live the way you do ?
Mike: I'm lazy. There, that was only two words.
Interviewer: But I thought you worked on your painting every day.
Mike: Oh that, sure. But that's not work. That's love.
Interviewer: I don't think I quite understand.
Mike: It's simple, man. If I didn't have a chick around paying the bills, then I would have to go out and get a job. And shit, that would really be a drag.
Interviewer: I see. I suppose it would interfere more with your work.
Mike: That's right. Now you dig it. A woman may want to get balled two, three times a day. But that still takes less time than an eight hour job. And it's a lot more fun.
Interviewer: How do you feel about the women who have kept you?
Mike: They're okay. They play it straight with me, which is more than you can say for the average chick nowadays.
Interviewer: What do you mean?
Mike: It's simple. Before I got into this bag, I was, you know, a normal guy. I dated a lot of girls. I'll pick out one for an example. Let me see.
Okay, take Gloria. I was going with her when I was about eighteen. A tall kid with terrific boobs. I really groove on big knockers, and man, she had them. In spades.
Gloria was a good kid all right. She was sex hungry, and great in bed. I fucked her on our first date, or maybe the second. Anyway, it didn't take her long to get in the kip.
And when she did, man, could that chick move! A lot of girls, they just lay there and let you do all the work. But not Gloria. She used her hips and legs and I don't know what all else. She was with me all the way.
She had this special trick of using her cunt, too. We'd be going at it hot and heavy, me ramming her with my cock. Then she would tighten up her pussy muscles all around my prick. God, it was just terrific! She was some lay, that Gloria.
Interviewer: But how didn't she play it straight?
Mike: Oh yeah. Well, I dated her for about three months. All the time she kept saying how she loved having her own pad and living her own life. She didn't want any part of marriage. Or at least that's what she said.
Then, one night, there we were in bed. I think I was going down on her, really licking the juice out of her hot pussy. All of a sudden she starts telling me how much she loves me.
After that, we had a nice, long talk. She wanted to get married, all right. In spite of everything she said before, that's what she wanted. So I cut out.
Interviewer: But don't you think that's normal? I mean, if a girl is in love, it just seems natural that she should think about marriage after a certain amount of time.
Mike: Yeah, I guess it's normal. But I don't want any part of that scene. That's why balling the older chicks, the ones who pay for it, is a better deal. They know what they want, and it's not a wedding ring. Most of them are already married. They just want to get banged a lot, and I'm more than happy to oblige them.
Interviewer: Why are you so set against marriage?
Mike: For a lot of reasons. First of all, there's my work. It's getting better, and I might even be famous some day. But married, I could never make it.
That's another way that chicks aren't straight. I could find, a girl who would tell me that she was more than willing to support me until I made it big. And she would mean it, too.
But then, after a few years, it would bug the shit out of her. She would start pestering me to get a job. Or pull a real fast one and get knocked up. So I would have to work, and everything I want would go down the drain.
Interviewer: Is that the only thing you have against marriage?
Mike: Hell no. Have you ever seen a marriage that's really good? Because I haven't. And I don't think it's the people. It's just the whole bit. I can't see spending the rest of my life with just one chick.
Interviewer: Yes, I know that that is quite common. But other couples seem to work out arrangements.
Mike: You mean swapping and like that?
Interviewer: Yes.
Mike: I don't go for that so much either. You see, I figure that sex without some kind of relationship, no matter what kind, is just plastic. It doesn't really mean anything.
Interviewer: Then you consider that you have a relationship with older women?
Mike: Sure. Oh, it starts a commercial thing, and no one falls in love or anything like that. But the old broads are willing to talk. And even more, they are willing to listen.
Interviewer: Then you have never actually gotten emotionally involved with any of the women?
Mike: Probably not the way you mean it. But in my own way, I've liked all the broads that I've balled.
Interviewer: I see. Tell me, how do you compare them sexually, as a whole, to younger girls?
Mike: Believe it or not, they are a hell of a lot better. They've been around a lot more, and they know what they like. A young girl, even if she's a real firecracker in bed, is still fucked up by emotion.
Interviewer: Was your first sexual experience with a girl your own age ?
Mike: Yes, and now that I look back on it I think it's kind of a shame that it happened that way.
Interviewer: Why is that?
Mike: Well, I'll tell you. I was fifteen and my horns were coming in good and strong. Every chick I saw turned me on. All I needed was to think about a bare tit and my cock got hard. It was embarrassing sometimes.
I dated a lot of girls, but I was a little nervous about actually fucking. I guess I was afraid that they wouldn't like the way I did something, or that I'd make a total mess of it.
But finally I got my nerve up and asked Janet for a date. Janet had a real wild reputation, and I thought that if anyone would put out, it would be her.
So I took her to a flick and then for a long walk in the park. We sat down on a bench and started necking. It was terrific! After a few long kisses, I put my hands on her tits and she didn't push them away.
I played around with her boobs for a little while and I just went nuts. I could feel her nipples getting all hard and crinkled and that turned me on even more.
At the same time, I slipped my other hand up under her skirt. It was pretty short, so I didn't have far to go. I pushed aside the crotch of her panties and felt a cunt, for the first time in my life.
It was wonderful! All soft and wet and wide open. I fingered her right away and my hand got drenched as her cream just seemed to pour out of her.
We couldn't make it on the park bench, so we found a secluded place and lay down. I was hard as a rock and roaring to go by then. I couldn't wait to sink my prick down into her cave.
My balls were aching and I was breathing hard when I mounted her. With one quick jab I sank my meat down inside her all the way. It was sensational! My cock, surrounded by soft, wet, quivering flesh. It was better than I had thought it would be, and that's saying a hell of a lot.
The only trouble was, it only took me about two strokes of my wand before I came. I shot my load into her and then went limp. At first, I thought everything was cool. I'd had a hell of a thrill so I thought she had too.
But I didn't know very much about women. She was pissed at me for coming so fast, and looking back, I can't blame her. But it was my first time, and I couldn't help myself.
That's why I think that an older chick would have been better for starters. She would know what to expect more, and how to handle it. After the thing with Janet, it was a couple of months before I got up the nerve to try it again.
Interviewer: After that, I take it you had intercourse more or less regularly?
Mike: Whenever I could get a piece of ass I took it, sure. And I got quite a reputation, too. I'd always known that I had a pretty big cock, but I never realized how much chicks dig that kind of thing.
Interviewer: That's very interesting, since Masters and Johnson, along with many other sexologists, have always said that the size of a man's penis has nothing to do with the amount of sexual pleasure that he can give a woman.
Mike: That may be true. The thing is, I don't know whether after I got it in and pumped it for a while there was that much difference. But just the sight of my prick made the girls think that I was superman in bed.
Interviewer: Did you think so?
Mike: Not then. Eventually I did. If I hadn't believed in myself, I would never have turned into a stud.
Interviewer: Is that what you call yourself?
Mike: I guess so, when I bother to think about it. I'm not the type to get too hung up on labels.
Interviewer: I see. But you did consider yourself a superior lover?
Mike: Still do, in fact. And I owe most of it to the older chicks, that's for sure.
Interviewer: Why is that?
Mike: Any guy can make it with a girl. All it takes is a prick and a snatch to put it in. But to make a woman really come, that takes some work. Oh, not always. But on the whole, the more you know about it, the more things you can try.
One thing about the older broads. They always told me just what they liked. After all, why not? They were paying for it. But as I got more and more experience, I found out that most of them grooved on the same kind of thing.
Interviewer: Tell me, do you ever have intercourse with girls your own age?
Mike: Not for a long time. One thing the women demand is total fidelity.
Interviewer: Why is that? I would think that they would be more or less liberal.
Mike: Not when it's their money. And I can see the point. If I did take out a girl, they would be paying for it. And they are paying for me to fuck them, not some other chick.
Interviewer: Do you miss having sex with girls your own age?
Mike: Not especially. The older women are better in bed. And sex is sex. A young chick doesn't have any intrinsic advantage, you know. It's just our culture that puts such a big emphasis on youth.
Interviewer: I see. And now, I would like to hear, in your own words, just how you got started with older women.
"I went to college for a year, but it didn't do me a damned bit of good. The art courses were shitty. They tried to teach me about things I'd known about since I was ten. I got good grades, but I wasn't learning a damned thing.
"I just got disgusted with the whole scene one day and walked out. I didn't know just where I was going, or what I'd do when I got there. I figured New York might be a good place so I started hitching in that direction.
"The first few rides were from men. But then, I got picked up by this broad in a Mercedes. She was about forty, and obviously loaded. She was smart, too, and knew a lot about art.
"She asked to see some of my work, and I showed her a couple of things. She liked them, but told me that they showed how young I was. She thought I needed time to mature.
"I knew that already. But I was worried. I had some money, but when that ran out I'd have to get a job. I told her about that, too. I didn't dream what she had on her mind.
"You see, even though she was a good looking broad, I can't honestly say that I thought of her in a sexy way. She was just so much older, that anything like that didn't seem possible.
"She-was nice, though. She took me out to dinner, and then she started talking. She told me that it would be a shame for a boy with my artistic potential to have to drop the whole thing.
"Then she told me that she would be willing to help me, to become my patroness more or less. By then, I was getting the picture. I'd read about things like that happening. And when she put her hand on my leg and squeezed, I knew I had the whole thing pegged right.
"At first, the idea bothered the hell out of me. I didn't want to be used as some kind of toy. But as she kept talking, I realized that she was a lonely, horny old thing who needed to be fucked.
"I found out later that she was married and had some kids. But her old man wasn't interested in fucking anymore. And she didn't want to get involved with anyone she knew. I guess she thought it would be too messy.
"So I agreed to let her set me up. She found me an apartment in the East Village, and bought me all the supplies I needed. Then she left, saying that she would be back in a few days.
"It was really heaven. I painted all day long, and half the night. Once in a while I wondered when she would be over to collect her payment, but I didn't let it bug me. Man, I was so grateful that I would have kissed her feet.
"When she showed up, I showed her all the work I'd done. She seemed very pleased, and we talked about art for a while. Then she sat down next to me and put her head on my shoulder.
"I kissed her, and before I knew it we were all tangled up in each other's arms. She had a great body and I explored every inch of it, first with my hands and then with my mouth.
"She told me right away that she loved to have her cunt eaten. That was fine with me. I hadn't done a lot of that because the young girls didn't seem to like it as well as fucking. But I really dug it.
"She had a pretty pussy, all red and throbbing and coated with cream. I licked the juice off her cunt lips first and drank it down. It tasted a little salty, but very good.
"Then I found her clit. I licked at it for a minute then she stopped me. She told me then to take it in between my lips, and just let the tip of my tongue go over it. That's what I did, and it drove her wild.
"After that, she just seemed to pour out the juice. And I lapped it up just as fast as it came out. When she gave the signal, I went deep inside her honey pot with my tongue. I snaked it around, tasting and feeling every nook and cranny of her box.
"She loved it! She was moaning and sobbing on the bed. Then she started to come. It was the first time that a dame had ever come on my tongue, so to speak, and I got a big kick out of it.
"By then, my cock was good and hard and ready for action. I wanted to sink it into her box as quickly as I could. But I waited until she asked for it.
"In a way, that made it even better. By the time my sword was inside her, I was almost out of my mind with desire. And when it inched its way in, my whole body seemed to flame up.
"She was no slouch in the fucking department, either. While I kept thrusting my cock in and out, she circled her hips underneath me so that my prick was going in and out and round and round all at the same time. It was one of the wildest fucks I'd had up to that time.
"I felt like coming a dozen times while I was in there, but I kept holding back. Every time I felt the cream start to run up my tubes, I kept still. I didn't want to shoot off too soon.
"But finally I couldn't help myself. I began to move harder and faster inside her body, giving her all that I had. Then, as my cock gushed and jetted cream, she started to come again.
"When we were both all done, we lay in bed for a while and talked. She told me a lot of things. Like that I really didn't need to wait for her to come when I fucked, if she had already come from me eating her box.
"Anyway, she seemed pretty happy with me, on the whole. And before she left we made it again.
"I stayed with her for about six months. It was a nice time, too, I worked hard on my painting, and fucked her whenever she felt like it. That was pretty often. She came over at least three times a week, sometimes four.
"I'm still not sure why the whole thing ended. One day she walked in and told me that she couldn't support me any more. That .threw me until she told me that she had a friend who was also interested in young artists.
"I guess maybe I really do know why it ended, and I just don't want to admit it. She got bored with me. I guess after six months it was inevitable. But at the time, my pride found it impossible to accept and I kept making up a lot of possible reasons.
"So I met her friend. The two women were a lot alike. Loaded with money to burn, and sex hungry. One difference was that the second dame didn't know beans about art. She just wanted my prick and was willing to pay for it.
"Not that I cost that much, mind you. I've heard of guys getting cars and solid gold watches and stuff like that. I never got that kind of loot--just a roof over my head, supplies, and food. Just what I needed to keep going.
"The second woman was very nice, but kind of strange. When I first met her, I thought she had a hell of a lot of class. She dressed well and all that.
"But she had a separate sex wardrobe that was pretty dumb. Like when she came to see me she would wear a bra with big holes cut out around the nipple. And she wouldn't take it off, either. I had to suck on her tits through the holes.
"She bought a harem costume, too. I remember one time she wanted me to pretend that I was a sheik and she was my unwilling slave. That was a gas.
"At first, I didn't take it seriously enough and that pissed her off. But when I saw she really wanted it that way I played along.
"In the beginning, I just went through the motions, if you know what I mean. I chased her around the room and threw her down on the bed and wrestled with her.
"But pretty soon I was getting excited as hell. I got into the thing, and started feeling like a mad sheik. I ripped her top off and sucked and bit her nipples until she screamed with pain. But I could tell that she was loving every minute of it.
"When I finally got her pants off, I rubbed her wet pussy hard with my hand. I felt her clit swell up and just about jump out of her box. She loved this deal.
"And when I got her legs spread wide, I sank my dork in just as savagely as I could. I pounded away, letting go completely. I didn't give a damn about her pleasure any more. After all, she was my slave, and the only reason for her existence was to give me pleasure.
"The whole thing was an unbelievable turn-on. I fucked her with everything I had, and she just loved it. It seemed to go on and on and on until I was ready to burst.
"When I came, it was like an explosion inside me. I let loose three shots of cream in quick succession. Then I shot my last wad all the way in the back of her pussy.
"She came too, I think. Frankly, I didn't give much of a damn. All I wanted was to ravage my lovely, unwilling slave.
"It gave us both a lot of insight about a lot of things. After that, I never doubted for a minute that every woman needed to be raped at least once in their lives. Even if only in play.
"She kept me for three months, and then passed me on to another friend. I think things would have lasted longer if she hadn't been such a ding-a-ling in so many ways.
"I guess I'm just a simple guy at heart. I like sex well enough to want it without three million gimmicks and embellishments. All the costumes just seemed kind of phony to me.
"Of course, she was twice my age, and had been at it a lot longer. Maybe when I'm forty I'll be paying girls to dress up. But I don't think so. Anyway, there's no point in talking about it. I'll have to wait and see.
"The third lady was pretty strange too. Her name was Crystal, and she seemed about as cold as ice when I first met her. She liked my paintings, though.
"She was weird, all right. She had everything down to a science, and that was how we always did it.
"She used to come over about twice a week. As soon as she got there, I had to leave for about half an hour. When I got back, she was naked on the bed. Just lying there, looking like she was almost dead, or at least had passed out.
"The first time, I just stared at her for a while. Finally, without opening an eye, she whispered, 'Take me.' I think of all the women I made it with she was the hardest. I mean, she never did anything. She just lay there.
"Once in a while I even had trouble getting hard. But her body was good, so after I ran my fingers over her tits my cock usually got stirred up.
"So, as soon as I was ready, I'd climb on top of her. She would spread her legs just a little, enough for me to get my prick in. And I would fuck her. And she would lie there, never blinking an eyelid.
"She spooked the hell out of me, but I kept playing her game. After all, she was paying my rent so I didn't have too much choice. Besides, I started to make a game out of it, really putting myself out to see if I could get some kind of response out of her.
"I remember one night I went down on her. I gave her pussy a working over with my tongue until the tip was almost raw. That was the only time she blinked, and it happened so fast that I'm not sure I didn't imagine it.
"Once I read a story about a fucking doll. You know, a life-sized doll with a cunt and all the other standard equipment. That lady was the perfect model. She just took my cock and gave nothing back. Except money, that is, and she was one of the most generous women I fucked. Every time she left I would find a couple of hundred bucks hidden in my pad.
"She sure did bug me, though. It was pretty obvious that she had some kind of weird hangup. You know, I don't even know if I ever made her come! Once in a while I felt a flutter of activity in her pussy, but it was so slight that it could have been something else.
"I'll tell you one thing. I thought a lot more about her than any of the others. I tried to figure out what could possibly have happened to make her that way.
"I tried asking her once. I was nice and polite about it, but she froze me with a look. That was the last time I ever saw her.
"I didn't meet another rich broad for a couple of months. I didn't have a chance to worry about it though, because I'd saved all the tips I'd received from the weird one.
"I guess I could have gone looking for a young chick to ball during that time but I didn't bother. I knew that it would only complicate things in the end. I wanted another rich one, not some poor kook who was living in the Village.
"I hadn't started to run out of money when I got a phone call from a woman who said that she had heard a lot about my work from her friends, and wanted to look at it. I told her to come on down.
"Her name was Estelle, and she was really stacked. Tits like I'd never seen before in my life with big, red rosy nipples that turned rigid after the touch of a fingertip.
"She was pretty cool in bed and out. She used to love to suck my cock. And she did a damned good job. I'll never forget one night in particular.
"Estelle was on the rag or something, because she didn't want me to touch her at all. So I just lay back and relaxed while she spent hours playing with my prick.
"It was fantastic! She would whip her tongue over my dork until I was right on the verge of coming. Then she slowed down again until the urge to shoot my load almost passed. And then it was back up again until my balls were aching.
"I think she sucked and licked and fondled my dork for an hour before she let me come the first time. As soon as I shot my load inside her mouth, she guzzled it down and worked me over again, trying to get more juice. I obliged her and that made her very happy.
"She was so good at cock sucking that in my mind I called her my vacuum cleaner. She just loved to kiss and suck and lick my dork, and I was pretty wild about it too.
"She talked sometimes, too. In fact, I think she talked more about her personal life than all the others put together. She'd had a rough time of it.
"From what I gathered, she'd always been hung up on sex since she was a kid. But back then, she thought it was just awful and tried to hide it from everyone.
"Her folks were rich, and she kind of let them push her into marriage with a man who was ten years older. That was a big mistake. The guy was nice enough, but he had a sex hang up. He thought that if he fucked her a lot she wouldn't like it. So he didn't. "And she never told him how much she wanted it because she knew he wouldn't approve of it. It was kind of a bad scene, I guess. Still, they must have done it sometimes because she had three kids.
"It turned out that I was the first young guy she adopted. Maybe that's why she was so willing to talk. She was really crazy about the sex part.
"I think that she felt a little bit sorry for me, though. Which was kind of weird. I guess maybe she really couldn't believe that I got any kicks out of servicing a bunch of old ladies. When she hinted at that, I told her to go and look at her tits in the mirror and then say it again.
"Estelle kept me in bread for about four months, I think. I know that of all of them, she came the closest to forming any kind of emotional deal with me. I guess that was just because I was the first. Since then, I've heard from other guys that she's turned into a cool customer.
"After Estelle came Maggie. Maggie was a dream. She took me to Europe and that made up for the fact that she wasn't too interested in sex.
"That's right, not all the old ladies are so damned horny. Some of them, like Maggie, like to have a young guy to travel with. I took care of the luggage and tips and crap like that. Otherwise, except for taking her to the best restaurants, I was pretty much on my own.
"Naturally I spent most of my time in the art museums. I did a few good sketches over there, too.
"It was a great vacation. And I think in all the six weeks that we were there I only screwed the girl twice. Not that she was a girl--I think she was close to sixty. But she called herself that, just like so many other older ladies.
"After Maggie, I teamed up with Veronica. And after that, Jeannie. I could go on and on with names, but they wouldn't mean anything. I guess you've kind of got the picture by now.
"It's a groovy life. I have everything I ever wanted. And I'm living the kind of life that I want to live--free. Because buying my body has nothing to do with owning my soul."
Interviewer: Thank you very much. There are a few questions that I would like to ask you.
Mike: Shoot.
Interviewer: What about your parents and friends? Have you lost touch with them completely or what?
Mike: Sort of. Oh, my folks have my address and we write letters back and forth. But I never had a very close relationship with them anyway. Not that they did anything wrong, or that I did. They are just kind of cold.
As far as my friends go, none of them know too much about what I do. They all live in the midwest so there's no real problem. I guess they figure I've turned into some kind of weirdo hippie, and that's that.
Interviewer: Just out of curiosity, how would you react if, let's say, your college roommate wrote and told you he was coming for a short visit.
Mike: You mean, would I let them know about the women who keep me ?
Interviewer: That's right.
Mike: It would be hard to keep it quiet unless the guy was just there for a day or so. But even then, it would be hard. I would have to explain why I didn't know any young chicks to fix him up with.
Interviewer: What do you think their reaction would be?
Mike: Shit, I don't know. I guess they might be kind of surprised. But I think they would just accept it. What else could they do? I'm sure no one would faint with shock and run out of the room.
Interviewer: I see. Tell me, are your affairs with women always of several months duration?
Mike: Yes, they are. I know there are hustlers who go out looking for one night stands, but I don't operate that way.
Interviewer: Why not?
Mike: For one thing, it's just too damn risky. I could get picked up by a cop. In the second place, I think I would be much too embarrassed to ask a strange woman for money after I'd fucked her. And I couldn't really count on getting a dame who knew the score.
Interviewer: Do you think there are enough women to keep you going for any length of time?
Mike: That's kind of hard to answer. I guess there are lot of rich, horny women around who are willing to pay a boy to be a lover. But unless I keep having good connections, meeting them could get to be a problem. - Besides, I know that there's an age limit on this kind of thing. After another two years, I'll be over the hill as far as the women are concerned.
Interviewer: Why is that?
Mike: I won't have that fresh glow of youth any more. I'll be twenty-five and probably look it. The women aren't interested in men, just boys. A man would be too much of a threat to them.
Interviewer: Why?
Mike: Because deep inside, they don't think they could control a man. I think that's why they pick on young boys like me. Look, if they could handle a man, they wouldn't need to pay for their sex.
Interviewer: So you think you have only another two years to go in this, uh, business. What then?
Mike: I'm not sure. I save all the extra bread I get, so I'd be able to coast along for a couple of more years. Besides, by then, if I can make it as an artist I will have made it. And if I haven't got the right kind of stuff inside me, I'll know that too.
Interviewer: And if you don't?
Mike: Oh, then I'll settle for commercial art. I wouldn't have too much choice.
Interviewer: What about your personal life?
Mike: I don't know. I wonder about that sometimes. One of the fringe benefits I have now is all the good fucking. I would want to keep something like that going.
Interviewer: With a girl your own age?
Mike: Maybe. I'm not sure that's possible, though. Like I said before, the girls play at being trampy but what they want is a husband and a couple of kids. Although it's been a few years since I've been around chicks my own age. It seems like things have been changing pretty fast. Maybe I'll be lucky.
Interviewer: And if not?
Mike: Well, I'll tell you. By then, I should be making some money one way or the other. I'll just find myself a nice young girl and set her up in an apartment.
Interviewer: Thank you very much.
SUMMARY
In spite of Mike's seemingly well balanced outlook on life, it is clear that he does have many problems.
In the first place, he does not seem able to sustain a relationship or become emotionally involved. This is true of a great many creative people.
We can see this as we look at the divorce rates in the creative professions as opposed to the general population. Statistics have shown that they are fifty percent higher.
All one really has to do is review the multiple marriages of well known actors and actresses to know that this is true. But why do creative people have this much trouble with their personal lives?
As Mike pointed out, doing anything in the arts takes a great deal of time and effort. It requires total concentration. For this reason, there is very little time left to work at a relationship.
As we know, in spite of romantic visions, sustaining a marriage takes both time and effort. It means being willing to devote time to one's partner.
Many young men who live on the money they receive from older women are unwilling, for one reason or another, to make the effort to have any other kind of relationship.
They may be interested in doing something very creative. In this case, the gigolo situation suits them very well.
Or a young man may not be willing to risk emotional involvement for fear of being hurt. This attitude is becoming more and more common in both men and women.
As a result, sex that doesn't involve the emotions is the ideal of these people. A girl and boy may drift through life promiscuously, not going out with the same person more than once.
What of the women who pay young men to make love to them? It is very difficult to generalize about this, because times are changing so rapidly. What was considered perverted twenty years ago is now accepted as the norm.
On the whole, we would say that the women are very lonely and unhappy. They are missing a great deal in their daily lives, and so they choose to make up for it by buying a lover or a long succession of lovers.
But it is not this simple. A woman who pays a young boy to make love to her must also be, in many ways, a very strong and secure person. Not all women could tolerate the knowledge that they had to pay for sex. In fact, some women, after one experience with a gigolo, give it up forever. The idea that they are no longer attractive enough to attract a lover shatters their egos.
What does happen to boys like Mike? If he is lucky, he will be able to continue to live off one woman or another for a few more years. After that, he will be on his own, both financially and sexually.
It is impossible to predict what will happen to him then. Just about anything could, including eventual marriage with all the responsibilities that it entails.
CHAPTER FIVE - THE THRILL SEEKERS
Today, there is no clear-cut definition of what is normal and what is a perversion. In Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex, Dr. David Reuben explained that any kind of sex, done to the exclusion of everything else, was abnormal.
What does this mean exactly? Basically, if a person only indulges in oral sex or anal sex or some other kind of activity, they have a problem. Besides, they are missing a great deal by not using the variety of sexual expression that is possible.
Although marriage counselors have been saying for years that anything done by a couple in the privacy of their bedroom, as long as both parties agree to it, is all right, many people are just beginning to practice this philosophy.
An older woman does have a problem in this area. While she may be very interested in all kinds of experimentation, her husband may not be.
There are generally two reasons for this. First of all, the man just may not be that interested in any kind of sex. He may consider it beneath his dignity to resort to what he might consider bedroom acrobatics.
The second reason is a bit more complex. Women are just coming into their own as sexual beings. When an older couple was first married, there is a good chance that one or both partners believed that women were not meant to enjoy sex.
Unfortunately, once an idea is firmly planted in the brain, it is difficult to get it out. Because of this, a man whose wife suddenly wants to try oral or anal sex, or even a change of position, may find that her husband is shocked and upset by the idea.
The woman then has to accept the fact that her husband is not going to play along with whatever she has in mind. She can either forget the whole thing, or find a younger man with more liberal attitudes.
Today, many women are deciding that if their husbands will not provide them with the kind of experience they desire they have the right to look elsewhere for it.
Some of these women are just looking for a slight change of pace. Others are out for all the kicks they can get. They want to try everything. Boys are also willing and eager to try everything, so perhaps it is not at all surprising that the older woman and the young boy, both out for kicks, get together.
One of the things that many women are interested in trying is anal sex. In the past, anal intercourse has been considered perverted, and the cause of all kinds of ailments.
However, in an article for Playboy titled "Ten Sex Myths Exploded," Masters and Johnson point out that nothing could be further from the truth.
"When conducted with the consent of both partners and with the routine precautions we've outlined anal intercourse can afford great pleasure. Indeed, many women report that it provides them with an overwhelming orgasmic response."
Women who are looking for sexual thrills want to try everything, and search until they find a partner who is willing to go along with them.
CASE HISTORY
Margo L., a forty-year old woman, found herself going through a string of entanglements with young boys in order to achieve sexual thrills and excitement. After six months, she decided to seek treatment to find out why she was doing this. (Source: Private files of a psychologist.) "I've always been a curious person. I was a real terror as a kid. You know, the kind who swallows the bottle of aspirin and drinks the bottle of perfume.
"As I got older, my curiosity stayed with me. I can remember when I was about ten years old. My mother had forbidden me to walk in the woods that were near our house. I guess she was afraid of rapists or something, but I didn't know anything about that.
"So I went for a walk one day. Nothing happened to me, except that I had a very nice time. I think I decided back then that the rules were not always to be obeyed.
"I kept that attitude all my life, although I found as I grew older that it was wise to hide, it. I didn't like getting into trouble and making other people unhappy.
"I matured very early. When I was ten, I already had good sized breasts and I was tall for my age. I looked about fourteen, and boys began to make comments.
"I didn't know what they were talking about, of course. My parents had always been secretive about sex. While I didn't think the stork brought me, I had no idea how babies got into their mother's stomachs.
"I didn't think much about it until a group of older boys kept teasing me and talked about fucking. I had no idea what the word meant, so I asked my mother. First she washed my mouth with soap, and then told me that there were things decent girls didn't think or talk about.
"That didn't help anything. You see, I knew from experience that Mother wasn't always right. So I started to ask around about sex. Finally a friend told me. Her older brother had told her, and she passed on the information.
"My first reaction was, 'Why in the world would anyone want to do that?' It just seemed a little bit silly. But then I remembered how good it felt when I rubbed my pussy with my hand and dipped my fingers into my hole.
"Even though I was curious, I didn't go out the next day and look for a boy to fuck me. Along with the facts, my friend had told me that it was something girls didn't do until after they got married.
"So I went along for the next two years think about the whole thing and not doing very much about it. But when I was twelve, I fell in love.
"I know that sounds silly, and you are going to think that little girls don't fall in love. But that's what I did. Oh, it wasn't terribly mature. We fought a lot, and he pulled my hair. But every morning, when I woke up, my first thought was about Howie. And when I went to bed, I lay there for hours and day-dreamed about him.
"He was fourteen, and a cute kid, from what I remember. I haven't the faintest idea anymore why I liked him so much. But I did, and that was that.
"It took us a while to get to the kissing and hugging stage. He thought it was silly in the beginning. But I guess during the time we were seeing each other every day he reached puberty.
"Then, all of a sudden, he wanted to make out all the time. We had a special place in the woods where he would lie on top of me and move his tongue in and out of my mouth.
"I became aware of his cock then. I could feel it swell up and press into my body. And my pussy began to ache for it.
"Actually, we never went much further than that. I knew that I wasn't supposed to, and for once I listened. By then I had heard of girls who went bad and were shipped off to distant relatives to have babies. I didn't want that to happen to me.
"Howie moved away a year later. I cried very hard for a few weeks because I missed him a lot. But I was young, and soon I found that days went by when I didn't think of him.
"He had awakened my senses, though, and I found that I missed the kissing and hugging as much as I missed him, if not more. So I looked around for another boy to take his place.
"I didn't find one right away. When I was growing up, a girl didn't date until she was sixteen or so. While I played with boys my own age, boys that I had grown up with, I didn't know how to turn them into lovers overnight.
"The next thing that I remember happening, as far as sex goes, was when I was fifteen. I still looked older than my age. Not my face so much, but my body by then looked like a woman's.
"I started hanging out at the corner drugstore after school. I hated to go home because my mother was always after me to tell her all about my day. I guess she didn't have anything better to do.
"A lot of kids hung out at the drugstore, and most of them were older than I was. The boys were all very tough, and swore a lot. At first it bothered me, but then I figured what the hell. It was only a lot of words.
"Some of the boys started asking me for dates. Naturally that was kind of embarrassing, since I wasn't actually allowed to date. But I covered it well, always telling them that I was busy.
"I got sick of doing that, though. There was one boy named Pete that I especially wanted to go out with. He was very tall and well built, all over. Boys didn't wear tight pants in those days, but even so I could easily see the outline of his prick.
"Let's face it, I was excited and curious. I wanted to see and feel and taste and do everything under the sun. And I was tired of waiting for it. Marriage seemed like an eternity away, and my blood was very hot.
"I decided that I was going to go out with Pete. This involved getting girlfriends to cover for me and all kinds of complications that sound like a situation comedy on TV. It meant staying out all night or sneaking back into my house. I decided not to decide about that until the time came.
"I was pretty nervous and jittery as I packed my bag for what was supposed to be a slumber party. I kept waiting for my mother to call the girl's mother, even though I had told her that they didn't have a phone.
"But my mother didn't. I think she and my dad were going through some problems of their own about that time, because she began to pay less attention to what I was doing.
"Pete picked me up in front of the drugstore. As soon as I got into the car with him, a lump rose in my throat. I knew that my cherry was on its way out.
"He was very nice and polite. First he took me to a movie and then out for a soda. He was going to take me right home when I just about panicked. He was treating me like a nice girl, and I didn't want that. I wanted to be a wild, wanton hussy.
"I finally came out and told him that I thought it was a little too early to go home, and suggested going for a drive into the country. Well, he was shocked at that, but happy.
"So we drove out of town a few miles until we came to a pretty deserted patch of land. Pete parked the car in the bushes and then, with blanket in hand, took me for a very short walk.
"After just one kiss I knew that he was the guy for me. I just loved the way our bodies seemed to fit together. He got hot fast, and I liked the way his cock felt pressed up against my body.
"It wasn't long before we were both undressed. At the time, I felt an overwhelming sense of love for him. It didn't hit me until much later that I didn't even know him. I was good at confusing sex with love in those days.
"What can I say about my first time? It was .lovely. Pete, once he found out that I was a virgin, was slow and careful and just wonderful. He went ever so slowly, sinking his cock in so that I could feel each inch of his column as it sank again and again into my damp, hot pussy.
"I didn't come that first time, but it didn't make any difference. It was a wonderful experience all the same.
"After that, I managed to sneak out of the house once a week or so. Eventually I told Pete how old I really was, but by then it didn't matter. We were in the middle of a real affair. I lived for the minute when his cock would explode inside me, forcing his jet of cream into my box.
"Pete and I started dating officially when I was sixteen. My parents both thought he was a very nice boy. He was, but not in the way that they meant.
"So there I was, in love again. This time it was much better, more fulfilling. But something told me that Pete wasn't for me. I just didn't think that we were meant to get married.
"We didn't. When I was a senior in high school, Pete got drafted. I hated to see him go and cried into my pillow for a long, long time. But after he left, well, I was still there.
"I wrote to him every night for the first couple of weeks. But then my letters dwindled and so did his. After a while, we just stopped writing.
"Once again, I was left with a hungry cunt. But since I was getting older, I knew that it was time to start looking around for a husband. I never wanted a career especially. I was bright enough to be bored by a routine office job, but not really intelligent enough to go for more than that.
"The summer after I graduated from high school, I took a job in a hospital. It was kind of fun--especially flirting with all the young interns! The older doctors flirted too, and they were more serious about it. That disillusioned me a lot and I decided that a doctor might not be my best marriage bet.
"By the end of the summer, I was ready to leave the hospital and look for something else. Then I got lucky. An older patient who kind of liked me was discharged, and needed some-, one to help out at home. Even though I wasn't a nurse, I knew enough by then to give him his medicine on time and change his sheets.
"I thought a lot about the job before I took it. I wouldn't be meeting any young men but I was sick of fending off passes from the married doctors.
"To make a long story short, the man had a son, a doll of a boy who had just finished college. His name was Paul, and I fell for him. He fell for me too, and after a three month engagement we were married.
"You must have noticed that I haven't mentioned sex for a while. My box still wanted it, but my curiosity had been satisfied. I knew that it was time to settle down, and I was willing to make the necessary adjustment.
"I was honest with Paul, after a fashion. I told him I wasn't a virgin, but I lied about the details. I made up some story about how I had been forced by a friend of my father's. He fell for it, and acted very sympathetic.
"Maybe that's why everything went wrong with us. He married me assuming that I was afraid of sex. I never acted like it but he must have thought that I was putting on some kind of act.
"Not that he was bad in bed or anything like that. But right from the start he didn't seem to want or need it as much as I did. I was afraid to let him see how much I wanted him all the time, because I didn't think it would jibe with my story. I'd gotten caught in my own trap, and there didn't seem to be any way to get out of it.
"The first few years were very good, nevertheless. We had two kids close together, and they kept me busy from morning till night. I was never bored or lonely then, and I was almost always too tired to be frustrated.
"But the kids grew up, which is what happens, I guess. After they were both out of the house, I felt like my whole life was just plain empty. I had nothing much to do.
"But I read a lot, and thought a lot. I read a lot of books that had very graphic sex scenes in them. And man, did they turn me on! I found that I was actually pretty naive.
"I started to think about things almost all the time. I wondered how it would feel to have Paul's tongue inside my box, or his cock up my ass or in between my tits.
"I had the most wonderful daydreams about that kind of thing. It just seemed to me that it would be a lot of fun to try some new things.
"I didn't know how to bring up the subject to Paul. He had never tried anything but just plain fucking, and he never acted like he was too interested in that, much less anything more exotic.
"One night, he was all turned on for some reason. I didn't care why, I was just glad that he wanted me. He took a long time that night, thrusting his cock in and out quickly, then slowly, and then quickly again. I came twice, which wasn't usual for me.
"When it was over, I lay with my head on his shoulder. I felt closer to him than I had in years. So I started talking about some of the things that I had read.
"Paul was shocked beyond belief. Really, it was so dumb that it was almost funny. He acted like he had never heard of such things in his life.
"I knew then that I could never get him to try anything. Oh, I guess I could have gotten him drunk and gone down on him, but that would have been kind of sick.
"I kept getting more and more curious. I thought about having a guy licking my pussy, and almost came from just thinking about it. And there was something about getting a cock shoved up my ass that turned me on even more.
. "I started playing with myself a lot, both front and back. What was really great was getting both places going at once. One finger in my box and another in my ass.
"When I did that, it made me come again and again. For the first time, I understood about people seeing stars. And I had always considered myself a highly sexed woman, too.
"I finally decided that I needed something to get my mind off my pussy so I enrolled in a writing class in adult education. I thought it might be interesting, and in a way it was. But not the way that I'd expected it to be.
"Along with quite a few adults, there were quite a few young kids who had quit school and were taking courses at night to get their diplomas. It didn't take me long to notice one group of boys who really seemed far out.
"They were about sixteen, I guess, and very good looking underneath their scruffy clothes. I found out that they all had jobs and lived in a rented house on the edge of town.
"At first, I wasn't exactly interested in them sexually. I'd heard a lot about kids who dropped out, and I was curious to see what made them tick.
"I think they resented me in the beginning. After all, I was way over thirty, or whatever the cut off date is. But as we talked some more, they started to think I was pretty cool. I guess it was because I never tried to tell them what to do.
"They talked about sex a lot, and how great they all were in bed and everything else. Before long, I wondered if they might be the answer to my problem. I still wanted to try new things, and I knew that these boys wouldn't be stuffy about it.
"At the same time, I was a little nervous about broaching it to them. I knew they dated a lot of girls, young girls who had the same kind of life style that they did.
"Besides that, I wasn't sure which one I wanted. I didn't think that I was ready for the orgy scene, although the thought of that excited me too.
"The boys kept kidding around, telling me that I just had to visit their house and see how they lived. And I told them I would. One night, when Paul was working late, I did.
"It was weird, to say the least. There were a lot of candles and incense burning, as well as some black lights. They had plenty of posters that glowed. And, underneath the smell of incense, I smelled the sweet odor of grass.
"The boys were surprised to see me. Only two of them were there that night, and one was on his way out. He talked for a minute and then left.
"That decided things for me. I knew that Sam was the one, since he was the only one there. The house was perfect for sex anyway. There was so much atmosphere.
"Sam and I talked for a few minutes. Then I asked to see the rest of the house. He took me on a tour, winding up in his bedroom. It was very small, and the bed almost filled the room. There was so little room to walk that I somehow tripped and wound up sprawled on the bed.
"I didn't try to get up. Instead, I smiled at Sam, hoping that he would get the hint right away. He did.
" 'So that's what you came for,' he said with a smile. 'What's the matter with your old man ?' " 'Nothing,' I told him. 'But he's not interested in the kind of things that I am.' " 'Like what?' " 'Oh, different things,' I told him, suddenly feeling very shy. 'He's never done anything but, well, fuck.' " 'And you want some variation. Well, I'll be glad to oblige. But just one thing. No strings.' " 'Of course not,' I told him. 'The last thing in the world that I want is some kind of involved deal.' " 'You know, you're pretty cool for an old lady. And you don't look all that old, either. Why don't you strip down and relax?' "That's just what I did. I've always been proud of my body, but never more so than at that moment. The boy walked all around me, taking in every curve. When he was done, I could see that his cock had started to get good and hard.
"He lay down on the bed and pulled me over on top of him. From that position, my tits hung down right in front of his face. He opened his mouth wide, and guided one of my nipples into it.
"Sam worked my tit over good. First he licked all over, working from the base up to the top. Then he took my engorged nipple in his mouth and sucked it hard. After that, he bit into it gently with his teeth, holding it steady while he flicked his tongue over it again and again.
"I just loved that, but at the same time I wished that he would get on with something a little more exotic. Even though Paul hadn't done ?. whole lot, he had been crazy about my tits.
"It was like Sam could read my mind. He got up suddenly and straddled me. Before I knew it, his cock was in the valley between my mounds. He held my tits together with his hands to make the space smaller. Then he began to thrust his cock up in between my tits towards my mouth.
"It was the wildest thing I'd ever done! I got such a big charge out of the novelty that I didn't even begin to get very hot until later. I looked down in the gully and saw his cock-head moving up towards my face and then back down again.
"I noticed soon that with every stroke his prick was getting closer and closer to my mouth. I'd never sucked a cock before, and I wasn't sure that I knew just what to do.
"However, it was no problem. By the time his dork actually reached my mouth, it was open and waiting. But before he shoved it in, Sam got off me and moved down so that his mouth was level with my pussy.
"I spread my legs and opened my mouth. His cock was inside after a second. I soon learned that I had to hold it by the base in order to move my mouth up and down on it. It was big, too big to get it all in my mouth at once so I just nibbled the head and bobbed up and down along the shaft as far as I could.
"In the meantime, his tongue was busy in my snatch. It was wonderful! Everything I thought it would be it was, and much, much more. He took my clit in between his lips and worked it over the same way that he had my tit.
"I came as soon as his tongue began snaking in and out of my box. Even though it wasn't the size of a prick, it was just as wonderful. I could feel it moving inside me, going back and forth touching every crevice of my box.
"And as my pussy exploded in an orgasm, I found myself sucking harder and harder on his cock. Before long, he came too, filling my mouth with his cream. It tasted salty but good, and I drank it down without a thought.
"When it was over, I got dressed and went home. I didn't feel bad or guilty or anything like that. In fact, I remember thinking that at last I was beginning to fulfill my destiny, whatever that meant.
"My class was two nights later. All the boys grinned at me as though we had a big secret together. That unnerved me a little, wondering what in the world would happen if Paul found out.
, "After the class, Sam asked me when I was going to come over again. I said that I wasn't sure, but it would be sometime soon. As it happened, I went that very night. Paul had a big meeting, and I had nothing to do.
"As soon as I got there, Sam took me off to his bedroom for another bout of sex. It was even better than the first time. I knew a little more about cocksucking then, and I did a better job.
"When it was over, he asked me what else I felt like trying. I thought for a minute, and then mentioned my asshole.
" 'I don't go in for that,' Sam told me. 'My cock is too big--I'd split you open. Besides, it seems kind of queer.' I was very disappointed but not for long. 'I think Mark has a real thing about asshole fucking. He'll be here all alone two nights from now.' "I was a little surprised that he was willing to pass me on to his friend so easily. But I was grateful. The mere thought of having a cock inside my ass started my juices stirring.
"Sam fucked me that night, too, and it was wonderful. After his tongue, his cock seemed extra big, and I loved it. He stayed hard for a long time, and I came at least half a dozen times.
"Paul was there when I got home and asked me where I'd been. I told him I'd gone shopping and then to a movie. He just nodded but I wondered if he suspected anything. It scared me so much that I almost decided not to go back.
"But in the end, I just couldn't resist. I was going to get a cock in my ass, and I didn't want to miss that for anything in the world!
"I knew that Paul would be home that night, so I told him that I was going to visit a friend and then go out to dinner. When I said that I might be quite late getting home, he just nodded and told me to have a good time.
"I felt a little bad then. I mean, he was being so understanding and everything. But then I remembered that if he wasn't such a stuffy old fart that I wouldn't have to be going through this at all.
"I had to call my friend to get her to cover for me. She was very curious, and I told her a little bit about what I was doing. Instead of being shocked, she just laughed and said that young boys always made the best lovers.
"She didn't go into details then, but I made a date to have lunch with her the following day. I was surprised that she had done the same thing and it made me feel better.
"I spent the whole day getting ready for my meeting with Mark. I washed and set my hair, did my nails, and took a long, luxurious bubble bath.
"Paul still wasn't home when I left. I hadn't expected him to be. I wrote him a note and told him what to take for dinner. Then I got into my car and took off for what I hoped would be one of the truly great experiences in my life.
"I drove over to the boys' house quickly, dying to get there but at the same time wondering if I should turn back. I knocked on the door, and Mark opened it.
"Of all the four boys, he was the most attractive. His hair was fairly long, but not down to his shoulders. And his build was much more mature. His shoulders were broader and his waist was smaller.
"Not that I wasted a lot of time looking at him. He knew what I was there for, and he was just as anxious as I was to get started.
"He led me to his bedroom, which was almost a duplicate of Sam's. There was a big bed and night table next to it. The nigh table was bare except for a tube of vaseline.
"Mark closed the door and began stripping. I stood there for a minute, until he said, 'What are you waiting for ?' So I got out of my clothes and lay down on the bed. He looked me over and gave a low whistle of appreciation. Then he lay down next to me.
"He climbed on top of me almost right away and began kissing me. At the same time, his hand found its way down to my box and he began to rub. After only a second, I was full of cream.
"Then we turned on our sides, facing each other. He kept kissing me while his fingers worked their way into my box. When he had them good and wet, he started to massage the puckered rim of my asshole.
"It was very tight at first, but he very carefully fingered it, making sure that there was plenty of cream to make his fingers glide in smoothly.
"Then he very gently began to finger-fuck me back there. It was like nothing I'd felt before. It didn't compare to the way that I had done it myself.
"When my bunghole was pretty loose, he started working with two fingers. He moved them in and out very slowly at first, but as I loosened up still more he quickened his thrusts.
" 'Okay,' he told me after a couple of minutes. 'I think you're ready for the big one.' I turned over on my stomach and waited. I could hear him opening up the vaseline and rubbing it on his cock. I turned to lock and the sight fascinated me. His greased prick was all shiny and red.
"Mark straddled me then, and spread my ass cheeks apart with his hands. I could feel the tip of his cock pressing against my tiny hole and I tensed up a little. To relax me, Mark worked his fingers around into my pussy, until I was almost on the verge of coming.
"Just then, he slid his greased pole into my ass. I gave a yell and almost jumped out of my skin. It hurt like hell. But Mark grabbed me and held me very still, letting me get used to the full feeling in my butt.
"It didn't really take very long. Mark fingered my pussy in the meantime, until I felt my whole body relax again. After that, it didn't hurt at all.
"He started moving then, pulling his cock out and pushing it back in again. It was terrific! The hole was so much smaller than my vagina that I could feel every tremor of his cock.
"Before long, I was moving right with him. I pushed my ass into his thrusts, and pulled it back a little when he did. Every once in a while he fingered my snatch or grabbed one of my tits to play with, just adding to the excitement.
"He worked hard and fast, driving his dork in and out of me. I couldn't get over how nice it was. The great thing, you see, was that it rubbed against the wall that separates my pussy from my ass. So my cunt was getting a good work-out at the same time.
"I could tell that he was going to come soon, so I let myself go and exploded. My pussy sucked in air while my ass just went crazy. He could feel it, and the contractions around his tightly packed dork made him groan with pleasure.
"He exploded inside me then, shooting his jism all the way up my ass. It was hot and wet and I loved it. As soon as I felt it I started coming all over again and didn't stop for a hell of a long time.
"I wanted to stay there and do it again, but v Mark told me that he had another date coming over soon.
" 'But I'm not trying to brush you off. Hell, you're a terrific piece of ass. Come over whenever you want to.' "I told him that I would think about it, and then I left.
"The next six months were like a whirlwind. I saw the four boys often, and through them I met other boys who were looking for a good lay. Some of them were as young as fourteen, but I didn't care. I was on a real pleasure trip, and that was all that mattered to me.
"Then, one night, it got to be too much. A couple of boys were giving a party while their parents were away for the weekend and they asked me to come. Paul was out of town, so I said that I would.
"I got there late, and by the time I arrived the floor was littered with naked bodies. I was shocked, but as I saw one boy licking out a girl's pussy while she was sucking another boy's cock, I began to get excited as hell.
"I mean, let's face it, it was my dream come true. Whenever I thought about sex, which was a lot, I always wondered what it would be like to have a few guys working on me at once. One sucking my tits, another going down on me, another ass-fucking me. You know, the whole bit.
"I wandered around for a little while when I was finally approached. The boy was tall and very thin, just like his cock. He was naked and hard, so that I could see his prick standing up out of his thatch of hair.
"We didn't bother with introductions. We just found ourselves a corner of a mattress and lay down. Before I knew it, he was inside me, pounding away at my cunt.
"He'd come already, I guess, and so he managed to last a long, long time. And while he was fucking me, I couldn't help but look around. There were couples doing everything under the sun. Right next to me three kids had a circle going. A boy was sucking on a girl who was eating another girl who was going down on him.
"While I watched, a boy I'd been with a couple of times wandered over and knelt down in front of my chest. Before long, I was sucking on his cock and playing with his balls with one hand. My other hand was playing around with the kid who was fucking me.
"We all came at once. It was amazing, like a chain reaction going off. The boy who was fucking me came, and a second later my mouth was full of cream. And I had a hell of a good climax at the same time. It was great, getting hosed down from both ends.
"Suddenly, when it was all over, I began to feel sick. I wondered what the hell I was doing there, anyway. I was a grown woman, with kids of my own. I shouldn't be playing around with all the young cocks in town.
"I got dressed and went home without saying a word to anyone. I felt so rotten, and I didn't understand why.
"I'm still not sure, to be perfectly honest. I guess I wanted a few thrills, and I had them. But then I couldn't take it anymore. So I figured there must be something wrong with me.
"Or maybe there isn't. I knew now that several of my friends have been through things like this and they all seemed to recover. Anyway, that's my story."
Interviewer: I take it that you haven't seen the boys since the night of the party?
Margo: That's right. I just left that scene completely. Luckily, the boys never found out my name or where I lived. Sometimes, when I'm in the store and I see a young boy, I start to sweat, thinking that it might be one that fucked me.
Interviewer: Why are you so afraid?
Margo: I don't know. I don't understand that, either. I'm sure none of the boys would try blackmail or anything like that. And they weren't attached to me, especially, so they wouldn't cause a scene. I guess I just feel like that part of my life is over, and I don't want to be reminded of it.
Interviewer: Then your interest in young boys is gone?
Margo: I wish it was! No, it's not. Whenever I see a good looking guy, I wonder what he would be like in bed and whether he liked to ass fuck. I still get turned on when I think about all the things that I did.
Interviewer: But you really don't want to do them anymore.
Margo: No, I don't. Look, I have to face the facts. I'm forty, not fourteen. I don't belong in their world and they don't belong in mine.
Interviewer: What do you think would be a solution to all this?
Margo: I expect to learn a lot through therapy. I realize, though, that I have to take another look at my life. I know what my life is, and it doesn't satisfy me. I'll have to find something that does.
Interviewer: How is your relationship with your husband now?
Margo: The same as ever. He still bangs me once in a blue moon. It doesn't do much for me any more. I've had better, much, much better.
Interviewer: Does he know that you are seeking help?
Margo: Oh, yes. I had to tell him. Who else would pay the bills ? He thinks it has something to do with menopause or something like that. I mumbled something one night and he agreed to it.
Interviewer: Do you think that you and your husband will stay married?
Margo: I don't know. It's like I don't like what I have with him now, but I can't see any alternative that's much better. Actually, I guess I'll have to make some kind of sexual adjustment. The rest of my life is more or less satisfactory.
Interviewer: Are you sure of that?
Margo: No. But look, I don't want to change a lot of things now. Divorce would mean starting over, and I don't want to start over. Except for the sex thing, Paul and I get on together.
Interviewer: I see. So you are still searching for the answers to your questions. Thank you very much.
SUMMARY
According to many psychologists, the 'dangerous years' for a man begin when he is about forty. The reasons for this are very simple. He may find that his sexual ability is beginning to wane.
But instead of realizing that this is a natural fact of life, many men blame their wives, jobs, or life styles. To prove that they are still as virile as ever, some men go on a fling.
For a time, it works out beautifully. Another woman, usually much younger, can easily arouse a man enough so that he believes that he is back where he was at twenty, sexually speaking.
However, this does not last. And the man may be satisfied with his fling, or seek another woman and another and another.
In a way, Margo is almost the female counterpart of this situation. She began to feel that she had missed out on a big part of living and wasted no time trying to make up for it.
Although many women feel the way that Margo did, not all of them throw themselves into affairs with young boys. The reason that Margo was able to stems from her childhood.
At an early age, she had learned that just because authority says something is no guarantee that it is always right. Once a person decides that they are above convention or above the law, they have no real conscience to fall back upon.
At the same time, Margo resented her husband a great deal for being unwilling to provide her was the variety of sexual experience that she craved. Thus she felt entirely justified in taking things into her own hands and finding satisfaction elsewhere.
Actually, Margo was ripe for whatever experience would have come her way. If she had not become entangled with the young boys, she probably would have found a man her own age. However, the opportunity was there and she took it.
What of the boys themselves? We have no clear picture of what they were like in any way but sexually. It is logical to assume that they were interested in kicks, and didn't care who the woman was.
It was obvious from the beginning that Margo was a disappointed woman in many ways. Her marriage was not the way she wanted it, her husband didn't please her, and she began to feel that everything was meaningless.
At the same time, she was terrified of any sort of change. While she didn't like the status quo, she had it under control. She knew just what to expect.
During treatment, the first thing that Margo had to accept was the fact that she was almost masochistically enjoying her misery, rather than being willing to do anything about it.
Once she accepted this, she realized that there were several alternatives open to her. She could try to make her marriage work. Or she could leave her husband and make a life for herself.
Margo decided to try to enrich her marriage. She dragged Paul to a counsellor and made him talk. She quickly discovered that he was just as disappointed as she was.
The couple went through a great deal of counseling before they finally were able to communicate with each other. But once it was over, they both agreed that it had been worth it.
CHAPTER SIX - THE PROSTITUES
According to statistics, prostitution is on the decline today. The main reason for this is that since most girls are no longer very concerned about their virginity, a man may find that he can easily get sexual partners without paying for the privilege.
Of course, prostitution has not disappeared. Many men still pay for sex for many reasons. One reason, explained in Helen Gurley Brown's Sex and The Office, is that many married men like a change once in a while with absolutely no chance of any kind of emotional involvement.
Other men resort to prostitutes because they desire a sex act which their wives will not participate in. This is particularly true of men who enjoy indulging in sado-masochistic acts.
Years ago, fathers took their sons to prostitutes to introduce the young boys to sex while keeping them out of trouble at the same time. Many prostitutes specialized in this kind of thing, enjoying the fact that they were entrusted with the sexual education of a young boy.
Along with this, some of the women found that the younger boys were able to satisfy them sexually. It is a well-known fact that many prostitutes do not enjoy sex with their clients as a rule. However, there is a big difference between an experienced man and a young boy who is putty in their hands.
CASE HISTORY
Betty L., an attractive woman in her middle fifties, was a prostitute from the time she was seventeen until she retired at forty-five. (Source: Files of a sociologist.) Interviewer: Tell me, how did you get started?
Betty: Oh shit, that was so long ago I almost can't remember. I guess mostly I was just dumb. I lived on a farm with my folks and brothers and sisters. All of a sudden, this man came through and said that I should go to Hollywood and be a big star.
Interviewer: And you believed him?
Betty: Like I said, I was real dumb. Besides, I was the best looking girl around in three counties, so I thought there might have been something in what he was saying. What I didn't realize was that you have to have more than a pretty face. You have to have talent. And me, I had a midwestern accent and I couldn't learn a line to save my life.
Interviewer: Up until that time, had you had any sexual experiences?
Betty: Nope, not me. I was a good girl. I knew all about sex, sure. You can't live on a farm and not figure things out. But I wasn't about to let no young boy get anything off me.
Interviewer: Then I take it you had no real sexual desire.
Betty: Well, I don't know about that. I kind of played with my quim a lot, and some of the boys made my pussy tingle a little bit. But hell, I wasn't about to let myself get into trouble. I wasn't that dumb.
Interviewer: But you were willing to leave town with a man who told you that you would be a star?
Betty: Joe was a good looking guy, and he knew how to sweet talk a girl as good as the best of them. I listened to him, and I believed every word that he said. Besides, he talked a lot about Hollywood and California and all that.
All of a sudden, I could see what my life would be like unless I left with him. I would get married and wind up like my ma. A house full of kids and a yard full of chickens. It wasn't a very exciting future for a young girl to think about.
Interviewer: I see. And so you left. What did your parents think about the whole thing?
Betty: Oh, they were smarter than I was. They tried to warn me, to tell me what was in store for me. But I didn't listen. Young people never listen. This generation gap you hear about now is nothing new. It's always been around, no matter what name it's gone under.
When I left, they told me not to come back. That was the way back then. If a daughter went bad, it was like she was dead.
Interviewer: Did you ever see them after that?
Betty: No. And I can't honestly say that I've missed them. I mean, look, in spite of some bumps, I figure I've had a pretty good life. They could never understand that.
Interviewer: I see. When you arrived in Hollywood, how long did it take you to discover that the man had lied?
Betty: A couple of months. It didn't take him long to climb into my bed and catch me with my pants down. You see, he told me that if I didn't, I was just being a silly prude. That all the girls did. Well, I couldn't argue that none. All the girls he introduced me to did, and I figured that was the normal thing.
Interviewer: Did you enjoy it?
Betty: Of course I enjoyed it. Fucking is a hell of a lot of fun, and don't ever let anyone tell you different. He had a big wanger on him, and he knew how to use it. It wasn't long before I was going to him, begging him for a piece of his stick.
Interviewer: When did you begin to go with other men ?
Betty: After I was broken in. I'll never forget the first time. Joe told me that the man had connections in one of the big studios, and that if I was nice to him he might help me get a part. So I was nice to him. Man, was I ever. He was an old geezer, going bald. His cock was pretty small, too. I had to go down on him to get him hard enough to fuck me.
Interviewer: Did he offer you money or what?
Betty: Naw. He paid Joe, who gave me maybe a third of it. After that, I knew what I was in for. Joe was nothing but a pimp. But by then, I was crazy about him. Besides, I had nowhere to go. I couldn't go home, and I didn't know any other people. So I went along with the whole thing.
Interviewer: Did you enjoy having intercourse with your clients?
Betty: Sometimes, with some of them. A lot of them were pretty freaky. But I'd say most of them were very nice and considerate. I'd get special pets all the time, and those were the ones who made me come.
Interviewer: What happened to Joe?
Betty: Oh, he went on the road again to find new girls. And then he had to spend a lot of time breaking them in.
"Just business, Betty," he used to tell me. "You know you're the only one I really give a damn about." It was the typical pimp's line. He fed that to all the girls, and they all believed him. Man, a pimp may be a low bastard but he sure has to have some kind of sweet-talking talent.
Interviewer: How long did you stay with him?
Betty: Oh, for years and years. I guess about fifteen years. By then, I had enough clients to go out on my own.
Interviewer: What made you stay so long?
Betty: He may have been a bastard, but he was a good guy. In those days, a girl really needed a pimp. And he had some good qualities. He never beat any of the girls, he was fair with the money, and he never got any of his girls started on drugs.
Interviewer: Those seem to be all negative qualities.
Betty: Look, I didn't say you should give him a Nobel Prize. After all, he was a pimp. But he was better than most of them. I might have stayed with him a lot longer, but he'd saved up enough money to go straight. He married some skinny little society bitch and moved to Palm Springs. They just recently got a divorce, I think.
Interviewer: When did you begin to have young boys as clients?
Betty: Gee, not until I was maybe in my late thirties. By then, I had a lot of steady customers that I'd had for years. And I guess their sons were growing up during that time.
Interviewer: What was your first reaction when a man asked you to have intercourse with his son.
Betty: I guess I was a little bit surprised. But once I got it explained to me, it seemed like a good idea.
Interviewer: How was it explained?
Betty: Well, Sid, the father, told me he was having some trouble with his boy. The kid was only fourteen, but he was after all the girls. Now, Sid was kind of low on the totem pole. You know, he had a lot of bosses, and not too many men under him.
His son was chasing the girls who were the daughters of his bosses. Sid didn't like that one bit. He sure didn't want his kid to knock up the boss' daughter. Besides, he figured that the boy was too young for some kind of an affair. So he brought him in to me to get his rocks off.
Interviewer: Did it seem strange to you to have intercourse with a boy who was young enough to be your son?
Betty: By then, I was used to all kinds of things, believe me. In my business, you get all kinds. Some of them were nice and some weren't. There were men who liked to make a girl feel good, and men who didn't give a damn as long as I lay down and spread my legs.
Interviewer: I see. How did everything go with the young boy?
Betty: It was just fine. Naturally, he was nervous so I had to go slow showing him the ropes. The first thing I had to do was let him know it was really okay to fuck me.
He was a cute kid, too. And man, was I surprised when I saw the size of his cock! It was as big as his dad's, and that was saying quite a lot.
I stripped down and let him play with my tits. At first he handled them like they were eggs that could crack. So I took his hand in mine and showed him just how to work them over.
The funny thing was, I was getting hotter than I'd felt in a long, long time. There was something about the innocence of the kid that really appealed to me. It was like I was going to be his first lay, and I had to make -it really good.
He caught on to things pretty fast. After I had him suck my nipples for a little while, I spread my legs wide open and showed him my box. He looked at it for a long time, his eyes bugging out of his head and his dork getting harder by the minute.
I took his hand again and put it right over my cunt so that he could kind of get the general idea. I was pretty wet by then, and he told me it felt pretty good.
So I told him to take a couple of fingers and just explore to get the feel of it. He went right for my clit, and I told him that was the best place to touch a woman.
He handled it gently, and then played around with the inner lips of my pussy for a little while. My box was steaming then, and wide open. He popped a finger inside it and drew it out. I told him it was okay, so he fingered my snatch for a while.
It was taking a hell of a long time, the whole thing. The boy was still hard, but man, I was on the brink of coming. It was almost like I was doing it for the first time too, all over again.
I figured it was time to get down to the real nitty gritty. I lay down on my back and told the boy to climb on top of me. Then I took his stick in my hand and guided it into my hole. It went in easily, sinking down to the base in my well oiled cave.
Then I put my hands on his ass cheeks and moved him in and out for a bit, until he caught on. After that, I forgot all about teaching and just let myself enjoy it.
The kid caught on fast. And he stayed hard for a while, too. At least long enough for me to have a good climax. I think that scared him a little, feeling my snatch grabbing onto his cock like a vise. But I told him it was because he'd done such a good job fucking me.
After that, he used to come see me every month or so until he got married. I always liked him, but he was better as a boy. When he got older, he didn't care so much. I was just a whore to him then.
Interviewer: How often did you have intercourse with young boys?
Betty: Whenever I could get the chance. I started talking about it to some of my customers, and they brought their sons in.
Interviewer: Do you know about what percentage of your trade was the younger kids?
Betty: Well, let me see. I guess maybe one in ten or so. By then, I could get pretty selective. I would have liked more young boys, but I was happy with what I had, I guess.
Interviewer: And you honestly enjoyed them more than the older men?
Betty: Yep, there's no doubt about it. And for a lot of reasons, too.
Interviewer: What were they?
Betty: First of all, the boys were a lot better in the kip. They could stay hard much longer, and that's always important to a woman. But I guess the main difference, and the one that hit me all the time, was the attitude of the young boys who were first starting out.
Now you take an older man who goes to a whore. He's fucked before, he knows what it's all about. To him, I'm just another cunt in a long series of cunts.
But a young kid, starting out for the first time, is all starry-eyed about the whole thing. To him, when he comes inside a woman for the first time, it's one of the best things that ever happened to him.
So the young boys treated me with more respect, more gentleness. I was something special to them, at least for a while.
Interviewer: Only for a while?
Betty: Of course. Look, after a dozen fucks, they aren't quite so starry eyed any more. After six months, they know what they're doing, and they take over. After that, I'm just another lay to them.
Interviewer: Did that ever upset you?
Betty: No, not really. Look, I always knew what business I was in. Besides, there were always more young boys to take the place of the ones who grew up.
Interviewer: I see. Tell me, what made you retire ?
Betty: After a certain age, you've had it in this business. A girl's best years come before she's twenty-five. I was lucky. I kept my looks and my figure. I also kept my nose clean and didn't get involved with drugs or too much booze. So I lasted a long, long time. But I knew that I wouldn't last forever, so I planned. I saved enough money to buy me a little dress shop.
Interviewer: I see. Do you ever miss your old profession?
Betty: Hell no. I make a good living now, and I get lots of sleep at night. Oh, sometimes, especially when I think of the young ones, I wish that I could turn back the clock.
Interviewer: What is your sex life like now?
Betty: Not too much. Once in a while, when I get good and horny, I wander into a bar and pick up a man for the night. Or, if I'm lucky, a younger guy. But sex doesn't mean a whole lot to me any more. I had a lot of it, and now that time is over.
Interviewer: I see. Tell me,-do you ever have any regrets about your life? Wish that it had been different?
Betty: Oh, sure. Once in a while. But tell me, who doesn't? I don't think there's a man alive who doesn't sometimes think, if only that had happened, or I had done this. On the whole, I can't say that I have too many regrets, though. I had a good time. In fact, I think I was pretty lucky.
SUMMARY
In many ways, Betty was right about being lucky. Very few prostitutes end up in her position. As she mentioned herself, many wind up on drugs, or become alcoholics.
She was lucky in another way, too. There are some people, because of inner strength, who find that they can always make the best of a situation, no matter what that situation is.
When Betty first found out that she had been tricked, she could have gone to another pimp, or hit the streets. But she was able to assess the situation and say: "Here I am." From that point, she was able to make the best of the situation.
It is obvious that Betty was never exactly a highly sexed woman. She climaxed occasionally, and had a sex drive, but she looked on sex as a business more than anything else. When she did receive pleasure, she looked on it more as an extra dividend than something that was due her.
There are many reasons why Betty enjoyed teaching the young boys about sex. In the first place, she was a woman who had been used by men for many years. They had always been in control of her. With a young boy, she was in control, and the change made her feel very good.
In the second place, the young, naive boys probably reminded her of herself when she was their age. She knew that her naievete hadn't helped her at all, and so she felt that in introducing the boys to sex that she was doing them a favor.
Lastly, as we have noted again and again, young boys are better able to satisfy an older woman than men her own age.
What of the boys whom she introduced to sex? There is no reason to believe that the experience did them any harm. On the contrary, a good introduction to sex can be very beneficial to a young boy.
In our society, with its double standard, it has always been believed that a man needs a certain amount of pre-marital experience in order to show his virgin bride the ropes. Today, with standards changing so rapidly, most men don't care if their wives are virgins or not.
In any case, a boy's first sexual experience will color his attitude towards sex for the rest of his life, no matter how he tries to overcome it. A bad experience may cause lasting impotence. This, of course, is an extreme reaction but it is not all that uncommon.
What would constitute a bad experience? It could be one of many things. A young man testing his wings for the first time may be extremely nervous and find himself unable to perform. If his partner is not sympathetic and understanding, it could be a traumatic experience for him.
A young boy who experiments with a girl who is as inexperienced as he is is almost bound to run into some kind of trouble. The girl's vagina may be tight, she may be too nervous to relax, and penetration may be impossible. Unless the boy knows a great deal about physiology, he will blame himself.
Of course, most men did not have their first experience with a prostitute, and the majority of them never had any enormous sex hangups because of it. However, we cannot honestly say that the practice is harmful or destructive.
CONCLUSION
As we have seen, women from all walks of life, from the society matron to the prostitute, agree that young boys make the best lovers.
If this is the case, then why don't all women over the age of thirty-five or so seek out a teen age lover?
The main reason is because the practice is not socially acceptable. It is frowned upon by almost everyone, except the people who are involved in it. And even they may feel pangs of guilt from time to time.
Another thing that all the women in our cases had in common was the fact that they were all very highly sexed, and enjoyed sex to the fullest degree.
Not all women are like this, particularly older women who were brought up to think of sex as an unpleasant but necessary duty. Because their husbands were brought up to think the same way, many women are never sexually awakened at all.
Because of changing moral standards in this country, pedophilia is on the increase. It is likely that it will increase even more as the current younger generation grows older. Today, the majority of young girls think of sex as something to look forward to and to enjoy. As these girls grow into women, they will keep this attitude unless something happens to change it.
While it is impossible to predict the future, it seems logical that a woman who has always enjoyed sex will demand that she continue to enjoy it all her life. And so, many older women will seek out younger boys because, according to all the knowledge we have available, young boys make the best lovers.
