"I don't know if you know it or not, but when you're high on grass, your orgasm is a hell of a lot more pleasurable than when you're not. At least it is for me.
"I started bucking my ass as best I could with all that weight on top of me and managed to stick my cock even farther up into the second girl's cunt. And I shoved my tongue as far up into the first as I could. Sucking like crazy.
"And then, man, the come came. Hey, that's good. The come came. And it seemed to last like a half hour. I can honestly tell you that I'd never had such a good feeling before in my life.
"The girls waited until I was calmed down and then the one sitting on my face lifted herself. She looked down at me and smiled. 'You've got a lot of talent, baby,' she said, which just about made me bust with pleasure.
"The second broad was still impaled on my cock, and, believe it or not, it was still hard. Almost ready for a second go. But I was sort of afraid to start anything. I was afraid that without a pussy to eat out, I couldn't make the scene with my cock. So, gently, I eased her off. She raised herself and I watched my cock slowly pull out of her. She groaned all the while she was getting loose.
"I moved over to the side of the room by myself and lit up another joint I'd brought along. It was fine with the management. In fact, you could cut the smoke, and the odor of pot, with a knife.
"I looked around me. There were a couple more people around now. Must have come in after I'd gotten there. More guys and more girls. And such fucking and groaning and positions you've never seen before. All I could think of was I sure would have liked to have a camera. I could have made a fortune off that film.
"I finished the joint and lit up a regular cigarette. I was feeling no pain, satisfied and sort of smug.
"Tony came over a few minutes later. He had just finished fucking a great-looking little Oriental chick. Real small bones and features. Not my type, but she still looked good.
" 'You want some more or not?' Tony asked. He plopped down next to me and lit up. As soon as he was down the Oriental gal came over and sat between us. And damned if she didn't start to suck us off. Alternating between us. Man, this was a whorehouse to end all whorehouses.
"I would have turned that little chick around and started to eat her out, but I didn't really go for the idea of working on some pussy that had been used. Turned me off. So I let her suck. And she was good at it.
'"Anne invited us to dinner,' Tony reminded me. 'We could go over there.'
"'Yeah,' I said sort of vaguely. 'I guess we could.' Actually I was more interested in what the little doll was doing to me. She'd left Tony out of the suck now. I guess he was through for the night. She was working on me all alone now. I looked down at that bobbing head and was really turned on. The feeling in my cock was great. And if I used a little imagination, I could turn that brunette hair into blonde hair and it'd be Bridgett who was on her knees between my legs, sucking me off like crazy.
"I shot off right in the Oriental chick's mouth and she swallowed it like it was eggnog. That made me feel good. Damn, I guess I was pretty good at sex. These girls sure acted like they enjoyed working on me anyway.
"We left right after that. The place was getting crowded and you never saw so many bobbing heads and asses in your life.
"I discovered that my first impression of Anne had been accurate. She was a great gal, gentle and sweet. And great looking. Which isn't a bad combination. She was also a little on the blonde side. When I left her apartment that night I decided I was genuinely and entirely in love for the first time in my life. And Anne was the subject matter.
"After I'd seen her maybe four or five times, we tried to make the scene. That's where I really ran into trouble. Anne didn't mind the straight fucking so much--in fact, she took it like the well-known duck to the polluted water--but she didn't go much for the sucking and licking routine. Especially the part where I ate her box and she sucked me off.
"And you guessed it, I had my problem back. And it was even more frustrating now, since I was really in love with Anne and wanted more than anything to have sex with her, to satisfy her while I was satisfying myself.
"But I couldn't get her to suck. And she wouldn't let me eat her out. She'd let me finger-fuck her and kiss her as much as I wanted--anywhere except her cunt. I was going up a wall, especially when I was having so much trouble keeping an erection.
"I went to my old buddy Tony with my problems. Again. He just shrugged his shoulders. 'I don't know what to tell you,' he said. 'Where in the hell did you get such a lousy hang-up anyway?'
"So I told him about Bridgett. That got him to thinking real hard.
"The next day we wrote a letter to the couple who'd hired Bridgett after she left my parents' house. Then I sat around mentally jacking off until I got an answer. A week later it came. And, damned the good luck, Bridgett had left them and moved to New York City to work. Right there in the same town where I was. Of course, that had been a long time ago, but they had included the address of the people Bridgett went to work for at the time, so I called. I got hold of them. Bridgett had long since left them, but they had the number of the--well, you know how it went. I ended up going through eight couples before I found out where Bridgett was working now.
"I talked to the woman of the house and explained to her that I had just come from a vacation in Norway and had a message for Bridgett from her dear old mother. The woman relayed the message to Bridgett who was too busy to come to the phone. And damned if Bridgett didn't invite me over. The next day.
"I was on cloud nine and excited as hell the whole rest of the day. I was going to see Bridgett. Hot damn. Finally, I might be able to get what I'd been after for years.
"The next day I cut my eleven-o'clock class and came home to change. I showered, shaved, and shit, so that by the time I walked out of my apartment I looked like a golden knight.
"I even took a cab to the address Bridgett had given me. And, believe me, she seemed to be doing all right. Fifth Avenue, between 71st and 72nd. Big penthouse. Well, why the hell not. Bridgett deserved the best.
"My cock was hard all the way up the elevator. And walking down the hall to the door of the apartment, I was so excited I thought I'd shoot off. Just like that: shoot off without even touching my cock.
"I rang the doorbell and this fat old lady answered the door. I immediately thought to myself that she sure didn't look like she was able to afford a big fancy apartment on Fifth Avenue.
" 'Good afternoon,' I said in my best military school, mannerly young-man tone of voice. 'I'm here to see Bridgett G.'
" 'I'm Bridgett,' the fat old lady said, and all I could do was stare at her. If this was my Bridgett, then things sure had changed. Her blonde hair was now a dirty, messed-up gray. Her big knockers now hung way down on her belly. And she must have weighed at least a hundred and eighty pounds.
"What I had forgotten in all this time was I hadn't seen her for years. Almost fourteen years, and believe me, they had been hard years for Bridgett. She was almost fifty years old now.
"It wasn't the most gracious thing I could do, but I stood in the hallway outside that apartment and started to laugh. I was damned near hysterical with laughing, and I couldn't stop. All Bridgett did was stare at me like I was nuts for a couple of seconds and then closed the door in my face. She looked frightened. I guess she thought I was some sort of New York freak.
"I laughed all the way down the elevator, on the bus, and into my own apartment. Finally, I managed to stop when I picked up the phone to call Anne. That son-of-a-gun, best-looking girl in the world was home.
"I don't think Anne would mind my telling you that I went over there that afternoon and that we fucked all day. And believe it or not, I didn't even think about eating out any pussy."
* * *
With the increase in sex education of the past two decades, and an upsurge in the general level of public sophistication, such topics as swapping, oralism, and anal ism have come to widespread notice and even to a large degree of acceptance. Popularization of the works of such authorities as Freud, Stekel, and Krafft-Ebing, the more recent studies of Kinsey, and the famous Masters-Johnson report have all conspired to shift these topics from the arena of strident public controversy to the more placid field of scientific research and observation. Along with this we find a new willingness, even eagerness, among the public at large to accept such investigation and, in some cases, even to participate in it. Witness the dozens, perhaps hundreds, of volunteers for the future studies of Masters and Johnson. Only a few short years ago, such activities could have involved severe legal penalties for the participants, not to mention the researchers themselves. Today, however, there seems to prevail in the public mind more and more of a spirit of "live and let live." At best, perhaps even a recognition that there are many areas of the human psyche, long clouded over with fear and superstition, that could stand a bit of cold, scientific light.
Students of human behavior know that oral-ism is nothing new; indeed, it is as old as mankind itself. No one is shocked or scandalized by the thought of a baby nursing at its mother's breast. Quite the contrary, the subject of breast versus bottle feeding of infants is a subject of active and involved discussion among women of many and varied backgrounds. Articles dealing with the topic are published in the leading medical and popular magazines. It is usually when oralism involves the less-accepted areas of oral-genital contact that the public and legal bodies show their concern.
Yet not even here, in these most hidden and suppressed areas of human sexual impulse, can the objective observer find much that is truly new. In recent years the reading public has been exposed to such works as My Secret Life--widely reviewed in many important newspapers and magazines--the imaginative dairies of a Victorian Lothario, and the famous novel of Irish life, Ulysses, by James Joyce. Both works contain references to oralism, and both works have been surrounded by controversy. Yet neither work contains a great deal that will surprise or shock present-day students of human sexual behavior. Indeed, one may go back to the early Greek and Roman authors to find suggestions of widespread oral activity. There can be little doubt that oral-genitalism has been with mankind since the earliest recorded times. Certainly far longer than its opponents would care to admit.
The opposition to such sexual practices originates, undoubtedly, in many cases, from the inbred fears of parental, religious or social bias. One may go even further and say that certain taboos of the race itself have a part to play in the restrictions which have surrounded such activity during the many stages of human evolution. Children learn at a very early age that some things are "dirty." Their own senses can tell them that some things are unpleasant. The association of sexual organs with the functions of body elimination may set up a state of ambivalence or even outright distaste in an individual's approach to sexual relations. Time and again we find individuals to whom sex, even in its most accepted forms, is a matter of "dirty versus clean." How much more unsettling, then, a confrontation with oral sex--to many individuals one of the "dirtiest" forms of sexual activity. The conflict set up by such a confrontation may lead some individuals to replace the word "dirty" with more damning labels such as "perverted" or "depraved." As John H. Gagnon and William Simon comment in their article "Sexual Deviance in Contemporary America," anthologized in The Annals of the American Academy of Social and Political Science:
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As sexual activity is elaborated, it moves beyond an exclusively or nearly exclusively genital focus and, consequently, increasing numbers of essentially conforming sexual actors find themselves doing things that many others still consider "unnatural acts"; indeed, doing things that most state jurisdictions define as "crimes against nature" or "sodomy." Mouth-genital contact or oral sex is an excellent case in point.
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The researchers continue with the following observation:
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In many cases, this trend must surely act to lessen the sharpness of distinction between conforming sexual behavior and some forms of deviant sexual behavior, though, given absence of systematic data, it is difficult to assess the impact upon societal attitudes and practices.
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The objective observer will be wise to reserve judgment before leaping to conclusions on subject matter which has even the experts in conflict with each other. The question of oralism in particular has often been surrounded with controversy even by those scientists who work hardest to treat this sensitive topic with objectivity. Where is the line that separates "normal" oral-ism from "abnormal" oralism? Indeed, is there Such a line? This is one of the many questions that have troubled sexual and psychological researchers for decades. The great pioneer of psychological research and founder of psychoanalysis, Sigmund Freud, had this to say concerning oral-genital contact:
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It would be absurd to exclude people with single idiosyncrasies of this kind from the ranks of the normal and place them among perverts; rather it becomes more and more clear that what is essential to the perversion lies, not in the overstepping of the sexual aim, not in the replacement of the genitalia, not always even in the variations in the object, but solely in the exclusiveness with which these deviations are maintained, so that the sexual act which serves the reproductive process is rejected altogether. In so far as perverse performances are included in order to lead up to the performance of the normal sexual act, they are no longer actually perverse.
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Thus, in this instance, it is the ultimate completion of the reproductive sexual act which defines normality. That which omits or bypasses the reproductive act shades toward abnormality, perhaps even immorality.
Yet this view is tacitly contested by large segments of our society today. To many couples, both married and unmarried, the employment of sex for simple pleasure is a perfectly legitimate goal. The widespread use of contraceptive devices and contraceptive pills attests to the unconcealed orientation of many toward pleasure as opposed to reproduction. Indeed, with the recent and active upsurge of population-control movements, there are some people who lean to the view that reproduction itself can be immoral. Witness the rising popularity of vasectomy operations in some circles. And only recently a young woman rose during graduation ceremonies at a well-known American college to declare publicly her intention to have no children. What would the people of Freud's day have thought of such unprecedented goings-on? They would surely, along with Freud himself, have been amazed at the rapidity with which supposedly immutable social and moral boundaries can be altered by a new generation faced with its own problems. They might be even more astonished at the openness with which these problems are discussed throughout society. John H. Gagnon and William Simon, in their previously cited work, comment on this aspect of our changing morality:
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Generally, the representation of heterosexual activity in the mass media has become, depending on one's orientation, either more honest or more blatant, but, in any case, far more explicit. Moreover, with general liberalization of public representation and discussion of sexuality, there have been comparable increases in the representation and discussion of what are generally defined as deviant practices. Mass magazines and even network television openly consider the problem of homosexuality and the problems of the homosexual--sometimes with considerable sympathy. Problems of pre-, post-, and extra-marital sexual relations are widely discussed in the public media.
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Thus, the person who in good conscience has decided that Freud's "reproductive sexual act" cannot be a primary goal in his own sexual life has not far to go to find alternatives. In many cases, he need look only as far as his daily newspaper or among his magazine subscriptions for an answer. It should not surprise the dispassionate student of human behavior that for many the answer is oralism. Oral-genital lovemaking satisfies two primary criteria of a pleasure-seeking, population-minded generation. There are few who would insist that the sheer, physical sensations imparted by oral-genital contact are inferior in strength to "normal" sexual intercourse for those who are orally inclined. For some, indeed, the added sense of intimacy or the thrill of breaking taboos may actually increase their pleasure. Added to this is the obvious advantage for those who wish to acquire sexual satisfaction without acquiring children. Therefore we cannot be particularly surprised to find that oralism has become a favorite recourse of those groups to whom population control is of vital concern.
In like manner, the objective observer can find many of the same elements at work among the teen-age population of the United States and other countries. There is little mystery in the widespread acceptance of oralism among teenagers. Youth, with its thirst for adventure and new knowledge--and its ever-present willingness to thumb its collective nose at its "elders and betters"--can be depended upon to seek out that which will shock many of its mothers and fathers, whether it be smoking marijuana, staging college protest marches, or indulging in "deviate" sexual activities. Needless to say, many of the same newspapers and magazines available to parents are equally available to their children. The unruly or dissatisfied teenager who wishes to plague his parents or establish his or her "independence" has many tantalizing examples to choose from. The questioning mind of youth is not put off by subtleties or euphemism--and, in many cases, there is little or no attempt at subtlety, anyway.
It would be wrong, however, to suppose that youth reacts to its elders only in a negative way. As always, age is the teacher of youth, both in virtues and vices, whether or not youth cares to admit it. And, as the following case histories will show, there are always those among the older generations who are only too eager to impart their sexual knowledge to attractive, younger people. Often, the older person is in a more secure financial position and able to offer the dependent teen-ager advantages in return for sexual favors. Beyond this, there is the question of experience, and the teen-ager recently departed from the protection of parents or high school is not likely to be a match in experience, sexual or otherwise, for the man or woman twenty years his senior.
Unquestionably, then, a knowledge of oral-ism will be early imparted to many of the questioning young. And from there, this "new" knowledge will be spread among their peers. The natural sexual drive and incentive of healthy youth will suffice to insure that such knowledge will not be neglected.
It should not surprise us then that oral ism can be found in all age groups, professions, and classes of society. Examples of "oralistic art" have been found in such diverse cultures as India, ancient Rome, and in the erotic drawings of Japan and China. It is not unlikely that man, like other animals, has practiced variations of oral lovemaking and pleasure-seeking from the earliest times. The continuance of breast-sucking from childhood into adulthood, and the transference of such natural impulses from the mammary to the genital area cannot be considered "abnormal" in any but a particular "moralistic" sense by those who wish to investigate and understand the more hidden areas of the human psyche. Objective observers, well aware of the constantly changing standards of morality throughout the evolution of the human species, will take care not to impose the rigid moral standards of any particular time period upon human history as a whole. It has been suggested that, for each generation, one of the worst forms of arrogance is to assume that it is the final and ultimate development of mankind. It is a failing with which we are all familiar. Yet as observers of the human condition, we dare not allow ourselves to stumble into the kind of arrogance which prohibits us from further dispassionate study and appraisal of ourselves and our kind. The reliance upon personal bias is totally inadequate for proper investigation of the multifaceted sexuality of mankind. Explosive words and biased terminology cannot but lead the serious investigator into pitfalls of error and misstatement. Scientists and concerned observers alike have made note of the lack of preciseness in such terms as "sick," "deviant," "abnormal," and "dyssocial."
Thus, the serious reader must not be too quick to judge the following case histories and individuals on a basis of personal and exclusive morality or even on scientific standards that may be in imminent danger of being outmoded. Oralism is prevalent enough in our society and other societies that it deserves a careful and serious evaluation. The period between Sigmund Freud and the Masters-Johnson report has seen great advances in the understanding of human sexual behavior. Most of this progress has been due to investigators who have been willing to put aside their own personal standards of behavior, but without the willingness of individuals such as the following to come forward with their own case histories, this great advance in understanding would have been immeasurably more difficult.
CHAPTER ONE - A Professional Amateur
"So you think I'm a lez, huh? You're wrong. And I sure don't look like a dyke, do I? I mean one of those females with a build like a Japanese wrestler and a yen only for girls. I'm built just like a girl--only maybe more so. I got all the equipment--tits, nice round rump, good long legs and, well, my face ain't gonna put Liz Taylor out of joint, but it's okay. Better than okay, to hear some say.
"Just because I got took in a raid, and there was some pitchers of me going down on a girl--and the girl going down on me--don't mean I'm a lez. I got paid for them pitchers. That was just--posing. I don't go for girls--not thataway. Not that I don't like what's happening. I do. A good sucking is fun, don't matter whether a girl does it to me or a man. But I'd rather it's a man, any day. He's got a dong, see. And you can get it in your mouth and taste him. And it's a different taste from a girl. And then you can FEEL a man's dong in your mouth. Inside. And in your throat. And when he shoots off! Wow! Can you tell! All that pulsing and moving way deep in your throat--and then all his come spurting into you--and you taste him So I like it.
Why not?
"I guess Mom started me out. I don't mean she started me out sucking off men. She was death on men. If you'd known Pop, you'd understand. He was a shiftless old skunk, drunk more'n half the time. And Mom was churchy. Maybe she shoulda been one of them there women preachers. She sure had hellfire and brimstone right by the balls. And no use for men. All they was after was to rum a girl. Mom wasn't always too clear about how a girl got ruint. Only she made it clear, wasn't no man ever to get into my panties. "Later, I sorta cleared that up for myself. From talking to other kids, girls. If a man got his dong in you, you got a baby. And some of them girls were real graphic, like they'd maybe had experience, even if they hadn't got a baby out of it.
"There was one girl in our crowd did get a baby. I was meaning to ask her but I never got a chance. She went off to some home, somewheres. Or maybe she got rid of it. And didn't come back. Which was maybe just as well. Mom and a lot of old biddies in the neighborhood sure had it in for her. And Mom would look at me every now and then and say, 'I tole you so.'
"Not that I was sure what she meant. Then.
Except it kept building up some kind of scare in me. I wasn't never to let a man have nothing to do with me.
"Like I say, Mom wasn't never very clear about it. But some of the girls were. I mean, they knew all about how guys had dongs that could ram into you and give you a baby, and would if they got a chance. Like every guy was just standing around waiting for a chance to ream your cunt and give you a baby. And maybe they was. I know the guys used to collect outside the Snack Shack and whistle at the girls--me, too. And wink and whisper behind their hands and sort of guffaw, the way boys do when they think they're being grown-up.
"I got my share of whistles, on account I developed tits kinda young. Thirteen-fourteen. And them whistles scared me. Funny, now I look back. Them whistles wasn't doing no harm. Just a sort of appreciation. But it sure seemed to me then they was really trying to whistle my panties down and was gonna ream me, maybe right there in front of the Snack Shack. And I'd have a baby the next day, maybe.
"Sure it was dumb. I know that. Now. But when you got a Mom that's as doleful as a country preacher at the funeral of his richest parishioner and just as full of scary-sounding words that don't really tell you nothing, then maybe you grow up dumb. If she'd ever said right out, don't go screwing boys, then maybe I'd know what she meant. I don't say I wouldn't never have screwed a boy. Only, if I had, I'd'a knowed what I was doing. And maybe I'd like sex thataway.
"I got the poop from other girls. And some of it was sure goofy. I know that now. Like, if you got screwed at certain phases of the moon, you wouldn't get a baby. Only didn't none of 'em seem to know just which phases that was, so it wasn't much help. And there was just enough truth in it--I mean, in a small farm community like ours, farmers still planted their corn by the phases of the moon. If corn grew by phases of the moon, why couldn't a baby? It made a kind of sense.
"Pop died along about then--when I was just going on fifteen. Got hisself kilt falling into the mill race. Drunk? Course, he was drunk. He mostly always was. Now I come to think of it, some of his drinking was to get away from Mom's hellfire and brimstone. It gave him a little peace of mind, I reckon.
"And that give Mom an excuse to get away from Tilford--that was our home town--and move to the big city. Well, it wasn't such a big city, like I know cities now. Maybe thirty, forty thousand people. Mom never had liked Tilford.
"So we moved in with her sister, who was a widow and had a nice little house. She wasn't rich. Just had a nice house and a little income. Not enough to take care of all three of us. So Mom went out to work. Wasn't much she could do, really. Like she hadn't never learned office work nor typing nor nothing like that. So it was cleaning up office buildings. And didn't bring in much.
"I liked the city. It was exciting. Gosh, there was five movie houses! And continuous shows. I mean, in Tilford, we had one movie house that was open Saturdays. I couldn't go to 'em, on account we didn't have no money, but they was there and I could see the posters. Man-oh-man, they was the prettiest thing I ever see. Girls and men hugging and kissing. In color, too.
"After I got used to it, I liked the new high school. It was sure different from Tilford. The kids were more--oh, sort of sophisticated. Even if the boys did wear blue jeans, like the country boys, you knew it was just sort of dress-up. And the girls wore sports outfits mostly. Made me ashamed of the stuff I had to wear. I don't mean I wore flour-sack dresses or nothing like that. It was just--the wrong length. Mom was hellbent on covering up as much of my legs as she could.
"Aunt Beth got me some regular clothes and made Mom let me wear 'em, even if they did show my knees and maybe a lot more. But by then Mom was too tired to argue. She worked night--that's when office buildings get cleaned, mostly--and days she was pooped out, sleeping most of the time.
"Along about then I learned about baby-sitting and how even a kid could make pretty good money. And we sure needed the extra money. So Aunt Beth got me my first baby-sitting job. It was for a young widow that had a seven-year-old boy.
"It was an easy job. I just did my homework and looked at tv and had Cokes and sandwiches out of the icebox. Mrs. W said I could.
Called it 'one of the fringe benefits' and laughed. She was a laughing woman, not like the widows I knew in Tilford, who wore black and looked doleful. And had lots of men friends. Mrs. W , I mean, not the Tilford widows.
"It was one of her men friends got me started on this sucking business. I don't think he meant it to be sucking, but that's how it happened.
"It was an awful hot night, and nights seem hotter in the city. Close, kinda. In the country you can breathe. Anyhow, Richie--that's Mrs.
W 's kid--got restless. I could hear him fretting and squirming. So I went in to see to him, and he's kicked all the covers off. Wasn't but a sheet, anyhow. And he's naked as an eel. Somewhere during the night he's got out of his underbritches.
"I hadn't never seen a boy plumb naked. Close up, that is. I'd seen 'em--down at the creek--and because they was pink all over I knew they was naked, but that's not seeing 'em, really. And not seeing their peckers, ever. Richie is lying there, his legs sprawled out and his pecker in plain sight. It's like a little pink peanut. It don't look dangerous to me. Not like Mom's been howling about.
"Only, just knowing it's a boy's pecker, gets me feeling itchy, down at my little cunt. And makes my throat dry. So I'm feeling myself up a little, with my skirt hiked up and my pants pulled to one side, and my tongue licking at my lips, when Mrs. W and Jerry--Jerry M , that is--come in, real quiet, so they won't wake Richie. I don't know it, on account I am so interested in what's happening to me, feeling myself and looking at Richie's pecker, but Mrs.
W has gone in the kitchen to make coffee, and Jerry, he comes in to see if Richie's all right.
"He catches me staring at Richie's pecker and feeling myself and sort of laughs. 'Kid, if you're interested, you should see a real one. And it can be arranged.'
"I guess I pretty near go through the floor, I'm so embarrassed. I yank down my skirt and -scoot outa the room. But I look back, on account Jerry is real cute. And he winks at me, getting me even more embarrassed, so I'm blushing.
"Mrs. W comes in, calling to him, and sees me. She shakes her head, laughing. 'Jerry, what did you say to the kid? You've got her all fussed up.' And to me she says, 'Don't mind Jerry. He's an awful tease.'
"While they're having coffee and talking, I kind of stall around, gathering up my books and stuff, because lots of times Mrs. W 's men friends drive me home. Not that it's far, but I don't have much chance to ride in cars, so it's a treat. And Jerry has a real super car, a sports thing with real low-slung seats, so you're practically lying down.
"I think maybe I'm not going to get a ride this night, because I'm almost at the door before Jerry jumps up. 'I'll take the kid home, Ruth, and be right back." But she says he shouldn't come back, she's going right to bed--and to sleep. She's tired after all the dancing they did.
"So Jerry takes me out to the car and helps me in, just like I'm a lady friend. And gets in beside me. 'Like a little spin? Or do you have a curfew?' I tell him Mom's out and my aunt Beth is maybe already asleep. Which maybe I shouldn't. Only, I kinda like Jerry. Even if he did see me feeling myself up and getting hot from it.
"He takes me for a little drive, up by the park, and pretty soon his hand drops onto my leg, carelesslike. On account the seats are so low, my dress is hiked up pretty high. And--well, his hand feels hot and tingly. I hadn't never had a boy do that to me before and I wasn't sure what I should do. I mean, Mom's said so much, but none of it very definite. Like how to make a feller stop feeling your legs. Anyhow, I like it. It makes my breath catchy and starts things going inside me. And the higher up my leg his hand goes, the more exciting it gets. Until, I can feel his hand slide right up and under my panties. Right on to my snatch.
"It's so exciting I don't know how to stop him and don't want to--much. He stops the car at a turnout in the park and reaches over to hold one of my tits, wiggling it a bit. I'm limp, I'm so excited. I just kind of slump down in the seat, and his fingers start playing right on my cunt. He slips one hand inside my blouse and under my bra and I can feel my nipple get hard. And I'm gulping, I'm so scared. He lets go my titty and takes one of my hands and slides it over in his lap. I can feel something there pulsing and bouncing and I know it's his pecker. He unzips his pants and slides my hand inside--and I feel it, big and hard and jumping.
"I don't know what would've happened if he hadn't spotted the police car. 'Passion Patrol,' he says, and yanks his hands back and starts the car.
"Only he doesn't yank my hand out of his pants--and it's sorta caught down there when he sits up suddenly. So I just go on feeling it and being excited. And he's excited, too. I can tell, from the way he breathes. Every now and then, during the drive home, he drops his hand on my leg and slides it up. I guess maybe I hump a little to let him reach all the way. And then we're home. At Aunt Beth's.
"He stops the car and slowly pulls my hand out of his pants. He zips 'em up and then comes around the car to help me out. As he gets me and my books out, I whisper to him, 'Will I get a baby?'
"He stares at me for a minute, trying to get his breath, shaking his head. 'Good God, no! You cute little ignoramus!' And takes me up the walk. 'We'll have to have another session. A better one.' And pats my fanny as he shoves me in the door.
"It's hard to go to sleep that night, I'm so stirred up. And I play with my cunt until I guess I have an orgasm. I mean, everything goes whirly and lights pop outa the dark and my chest gets tight. And then I'm limp--and ready for sleeping.
"It's maybe three days later Mrs. W wants me for baby-sitting again. Only this time she has a different boyfriend. Not Jerry. She's got about six on the string. So she goes off in a big swirl of perfume and lots of laughter. Richie is already in bed, so I've really got nothing to do. Not even any homework. I go peep and see if Richie is naked, with the covers off, so I can look at his pecker again, but he's covered up.
"In about half an hour Jerry shows up, asking for Mrs. W but really looking at me, kind of hungry. 'Just thought I'd drop by.' And comes in. I follow him and sit down, kind of prim, and feeling a little scared of the way he looks at me. And he sits on the big couch, just looking at me. 'The kid asleep?' I nod and he pats the couch beside him. 'Come over here, Lili,' He don't call me Lillian, which is my real name, but makes it sort of exciting, calling me 'Lili' and pronouncing it sort of like 'Lee-Lee,' which he says is French.
"I don't at first, and he says, 'I don't bite, Lili,' and I feel kinda silly, so I go over and sit beside him, still prim, only my skirt hikes up some, showing a lot of leg. I start to pull it down but he stops me. And leaves his hand on my leg, sliding it up and down a little and looking at me. His hand feels good on my leg--and better as it goes higher, up toward my little snatch box. Only I clamp my legs tight when he gets too far up, because I get scared. He uses his other hand to slide over my titties and feel them. I've got on a front-button blouse, and the first thing I know, he's got a couple of buttons undone and his hand inside. Seeing as the weather is so hot, I don't have a bra on, and his hand is right on my tit, playing with my nipple.
"And I'm really scared of how it makes my breath so tight and my legs so loose and wobbly and falling open, so his hand is right on my cunt, up under my panties. And I like it. I mean, it's so exciting, even if it is scary. And my little cunt is beginning to quiver. I can feel it. And opening like one of those roses you see in slow motion on TV. He slides one finger up and down my little slit till I can almost scream with excitement. Only I can't. I mean, I can't scream. Like I haven't got breath for it.
"He starts to slide my panties down but I grab at 'em, holding on tight, because I have this scare that once my panties are off, I'll get a baby. Oh, sure, now I know that's silly, but I didn't then. Mom never made things very clear, just scary.
"So he takes one hand, prying my fingers loose from my panties, and slides it over onto his lap, where his pants are already unzipped. And pushes it inside, so I feel that hot stick of his. At first I keep my fingers stiff while he rubs my hand up and down his shaft--and then my hand just seems to loosen up, like I loosen up all over. And my fingers sort of curl around his dong, natural-like.
"I can feel it pulse and shiver, like it's got a separate life, and when I squeeze a little and slide my hand up and down, his dong gets stiffer and more pulsy. And it's out in the open, since Jerry has undone his belt and let his pants fall open.
"I can see it, a great big purple-red bulb, and big blue veins standing out on his shaft, pulsing like crazy. I feel 'em, too. Jerry has gone back to fingering my little snatch box and has unbuttoned my blouse, so he can tease my titties with his tongue. And I'm letting him slide my panties down, on account I don't seem to have strength to hold 'em up, with just one hand. And anyway, things are getting so hot and exciting down there I don't seem to care. Except I'm still scared. Awful scared now, because he's got my panties off.
"My blouse is wide open and both tits are sticking up, with nipples hard and awfully pinkish, pretty near suntan. So I just let the panties slide on down my legs---and help Jerry undo my skirt. And there I am, practically naked. In front of a man. Not a boy, but a real, grown-up adult man. And I have my hand on his prick, which is shivering and jumping like crazy.
"Jerry leans over and kisses my titties, working on each hard little nipple with his tongue, and sliding me out of the sleeves of my blouse. He turns me around on the couch, so my head is in his lap and my eyes right up against his pecker, looking bigger'n all outdoors.
"He runs his tongue from my titties down across my stomach, tickling, but not exactly. It's different from tickling-to-laugh tickling. It just makes me tighten up inside. Then his tongue slides across my pelvis, back and forth, coming pretty close to my cunt, where his fingers are working, opening it up. And I'm getting wet down there.
"At first I'm awful embarrassed about getting wet down there, thinking maybe I'm peeing and not knowing, like I done sometimes when I was a real little girl. But it's not that kind of wetness. It's--juicier. And Jerry slides his tongue down my slit, wiggling it, and making it open up even more. And I'm whimpering. Ain't nothing like this ever happened before to me. And believe you me, I'm scared. But not scared enough to know how to make him stop, nor really wanting to. It's like eating too much ice cream, knowing it'll make you sick--only lots stronger. Like I can't stop.
"Jerry slides his tongue in and out of my snatch, licking at the juices and touching my little clit every now and then, so I jump and hump. Suddenly his mouth clamps down, his lips almost covering my cunt, his tongue working inside--and he's sucking on it. I can feel it almost up to my eyeballs. So good, so good.
"He has slid practically out of his pants and is bending over me, so his dong is hanging right over my face. And there is sweat on it. I mean, I think then it's sweat. A great big glob of glistening wet. And he keeps humping a little, so that his pecker keeps jabbing at me, like a big stick.
"Finally he takes his mouth off my hot box, which is sure enough hot as fire by then and spurting juices, and says, kinda choked, 'Stick it in your mouth!'
"I tell him I can't. I won't. I don't want to get a baby. And he laughs, kinda wild. 'Kid, that's one sure way you WON'T get one!' So I say, still scared, 'Honest?' and he says, kinda fierce, 'Honest! I don't want you to get a baby any more'n you do.' And he adds, 'Honest Injun!' like he means it. And leans down to tongue my cunt again, so hard I almost squeal. His tongue slides a long way in and wiggles, so I can scarcely breathe. All the time his fingers are playing around my brownhole--I don't know a person's got that kind of feelings in their brownhole, but they have. Anyhow, I have. His fingers play around the edges of my cunt and up along the creases in my legs and pelvis. His chest is resting on my stomach, kinda light, but wiggling a little. All of it stirring me up something fierce.
"And there's his big pecker, aiming right at my mouth. I stick out my tongue and that drop of glisten seems to slide right down--and I taste him. Hot, salty--so I start licking, for some more of that good man-taste.
"He humps up and then lowers hisself, till his dong is pushing against my teeth. I open up, then, and it slides in. That whole big purplish red bulb. And some of his shaft, though I'm still holding it, and milking a little, like I done the cows back home when we had cows. And I run my tongue all around his dong, lapping up that man-taste like crazy. And sucking, so I can pull more juices out of his pecker.
"Jerry moans some and works harder on my little snatch box--and I'm pushing it up at his mouth. All the time Jerry is pushing deeper into my mouth with his dong, until I let go with my hand. And it slides way to the back of my throat, mighty nigh choking me, but it is spurting juices and I get more taste thataway.
"Plus, things are happening so exciting down at my pussy I don't have time to think. His tongue is deep inside, and way farther up I'm getting awful tight, like something wound too tight and just beginning to loosen up, like maybe something is about to bust. And then it does. Wow! I feel like I've blown apart--except it's a good feeling, with all kinds of things happening. Bigger'n anything ever happened to me before.
"Just about then Jerry really rams his pecker deep into my mouth, way down my throat. So far I think maybe he can lick it from the other end. And humps, so I feel it slide up and down my throat. And feel the pulse of it, throbbing.
"And it lets go. Whammo! His pecker swells so I think maybe it'll bust in my throat--and then--POW! A great big gob spurts down my throat, hot, salty. And, whoooo-eee, it's good.
"Along with the way I'm exploding inside, down at my cunt, this makes the most exciting thing ever happened. Maybe the most exciting that can happen to a girl who don't know sex.
"I swallow a lot of his come, and hold some in my mouth, tasting, while Jerry sorta goes limp--and his dong starts to go down, slow-like, and pull outa my mouth, with me licking at it. Jerry makes a few more tongue slaps at my cunt and one last big suck, before licking at it and rolling off me, pooped.
"We lie there like that for a while, me shivering and shaking on account of the excitement and what's been happening to me. I don't even try to put on my clothes, I'm so beat. I just let Jerry look at me, naked, and every now and then touch me, which makes me shake and shiver harder.
"Jerry swings around and swaps ends, so we're face to face again. His hands kinda wander a little, gentle-like, along my hips and down the outer side of my leg and then up my back and across my breasts, like he's memorizing my sizes. He kisses me a couple of times, soft, not hard and tonguing. 'You've got a beautiful little body, Lili. Beautiful. And you know how to use it. Oh, brother, do you know how to use it! You're wonderful! Simply and incredibly wonderful!'
"I guess I'm still scared. 'And I won't get a baby? You promise?'
"Jerry holds up one hand, real solemn-like. 'Promise! Lili, what you've just learned is sex without babies. Stick to that, baby, and you'll never have babies--but lots of fun. LOTS of fun.'
"Jerry sits up then, and starts getting dressed. 'We'd better hop to it, Lili. Ruth will be coming home soon--and she wouldn't like finding me here. Or you dressed like that. Well, not dressed like that--undressed like that.'
"So I get into my clothes again, not too fast, because I like having Jerry steal looks at my body and every now and then reach over and pat me.
"Finally he gets up and paces a little, stopping in front of me. 'Lili, you really liked that, didn't you?' And I nod, just breathing, 'Oh, yes!' He sort of scowls. 'Like it better'n baby-sitting?' And I look at him surprised. 'Sure I do. Of course.'
"Jerry nods and takes another couple of paces, coming back to me. 'How about doing this instead of baby-sitting?'
"I shake my head. 'Jerry, I can't. Honest, I can't. I gotta help out at home. With money. So I gotta keep on with my baby-sitting.'
"Jerry stares at me for a moment and then begins to laugh. 'Lili, Lili, child! That fun we had is worth far more than baby-sitting. Lots more. And to prove it, here.' And he pulls out his money clip and peels off a ten-dollar bill. 'Take that. And buy yourself something nice.'
"I take it, feeling kinda funny, and look at it. Ten dollars! A whole ten dollars! 'That's more'n I get from Mrs. W for baby-sitting,' I tell him, and start to hand it back.
"Jerry waves it away. 'Keep it, Lili! Keep it! It's--a gift. And there's lots more where that came from. If you'd rather have that kinda fun than just plain baby-sitting.'
"I shake my head. 'I couldn't. Honest, Jerry, I couldn't. Mom's bad enough about my baby-sit-ting and she's sure death on sex. She'd never let me.'
"Jerry squinches up his eyes and stares at me for a long time and then sighs. 'No, you're not playing it right, Lili. So I don't think... No, that's just plain innocence--or dumbness.' He takes a couple more turns of the room and comes back to me. 'If I can fix up some baby-sitting jobs that--well, aren't baby-sitting for real, but are for the fun we can have, how about that?'
"I shiver a little, remembering all the excitement and it starts my little cunt itching again and my titties swelling. Gee-gosh, to have that kinda fun instead of baby-sitting... I look up at him. 'Do you think you can?'
"Jerry grins. 'Leave it to me, Lili. Leave it to me.'
"So I leave it to him. And that starts me on some real fine sucking. Real fine."
* * *
Lili B.'s attitude toward sex is a result of her mother's overprotective but not very intelligent attitude, her "hellfire and brimstone" approach, without providing any true information or guides to proper conduct. To say that Lili's case is typical of this sort of ignorant over-protectiveness is hardly fair. Her mother was a small-town woman, harassed by the problems of a drunken husband; there is a hint in Lili's story that her mother's attitude toward sex may have been in part at least the cause of her father's heavy drinking.
Like many uneducated women, and not a few educated ones, she retreated into something she believed was religion for consolation and protection, without bothering to discover basic causes or to explain them to her daughter. To her, the admonitions of an evangelical type of religion were sufficient. And she apparently assumed they would be effective with her daughter. A certain puritanical block prevented her from being sufficiently specific to insure protection for her daughter.
So Lili's case is not what one could rightfully call typical. Rather, it is almost an exaggeration of all that is worst in this type of over-protectiveness. In the case of Lili, we are confronted with virtually three of the worst enemies of proper upbringing and education. Aside from having only one parent, we see a strangling over-protectiveness, the worst form of sexual ignorance and a religious fanaticism, almost bordering on superstition.
The same streak of fanaticism that operated in her mother activated the girl. The girl believed firmly, and apparently irrevocably, that the "getting of a baby" was more heinous than the act of sexual intercourse by other means--in her case, oral eroticism.
She clings determinedly to this central idea long after she knows, by her natural intelligence, that there are other means of preventing the "getting of a baby." Of course, by that time, through experience, she has become emotionally dependent upon her aberration as a prop to her continuance of her conduct, the practice of oral eroticism, or oral sex. By that time, in addition to her own emotional drives, there has come into being the profit motive.
This motivation can be attributed, at least in part, to her mother's continued harping upon the subject of their poverty.
Professor Curtis E. Avery, in an article "The Problems of Children's Sex Play" (Sexology Magazine, 1960), warns parents against just such violent disapproval or revulsion against the sex act. "It is," he says, " a basic fault to be found in most parents." In the case of Lili's mother, this fault is carried to an extreme, the extreme of religious fanaticism, or fanaticism masking as religion.
As to Lili's emotional drive toward sex, there were several factors at work, aside from her mother's emotion-charged tirades, which would naturally arouse any child's curiosity. A child would naturally conclude that anything that brought forth such violent reactions in an adult (parent) must have some degree of interest and, unless thoroughly inhibited, would investigate.
Lili confirms one of the factors, her physical development. She was biologically mature at fifteen, which is not exceptionally young. Reports on sexual behavior in children clearly show that girls as young as nine have been capable of complete biological enjoyment of the sex act. The report of the National Commission on Crime, Prevention and Parole states that there are approximately a million young girls annually introduced to the sex act, more than half under the age of fourteen. The Commission's report does not, however, indicate the number or even the percentage of these that derive sexual gratification from the act. On the other hand, the Blau-Bender and Rasmussen reports indicate that sexual gratification, even in the very young, is by no means exceptional. The Blau-Bender report, covering twenty years of studies of females nine to thirteen, clearly states that, in the majority of cases, the children were "not helpless victims but played an active and even initiating role in their delinquency."
Lili did not actually initiate her oral seduction, though her curiosity about her young charge's sex organs, and her open masturbation while looking at them, did indicate to her eventual seducer that she would be pliant in response to his overtures. From her own point of view it is fortunate that her seducer--Jerry--was primarily interested in oral sex (possibly the reason for his divorce?). There are only very slight and rather intangible hints that there had been previous efforts to seduce her heterosexually, which she had repulsed. Whether he would have succeeded in a heterosexual seduction or not is hardly debatable. Lili's own reactions to it would undoubtedly have prevented a successful conclusion.
Jerry, whether solely from his emotional needs or from a very shrewd analysis of Lili's character, adopted the only sexual approach she could have tolerated. Later developments, the introduction of other men with similar oral eroticism into Lili's life, would indicate that Jerry's own sexual drives were orally oriented. Otherwise it is unlikely he would have known an entire coterie of men interested in oral sex.
However, we are not especially concerned with Jerry's sexual needs and drives, except insofar as they affect Lili.
Lili had her own biological drives--she was biologically mature at fifteen--and a strong, inculcated (by her mother's tirades) repulsion for "getting a baby." This, in turn, had been reinforced by the surreptitious whisperings of her peer group--much of it, as she admits with clearer hindsight, inaccurate and absurd, with just enough of a hint of truth to bewilder a child.
She did know enough about reproduction to be certain that her primary sex organ should remain inviolate. Even her later knowledge--acquired probably from Judy--that the Pill was an effective deterrent against "getting a baby" was not sufficient to reorient her toward heterosexual intercourse. Since, by that time, she had learned to derive considerable sexual pleasure from oral eroticism, she could have no great compulsion to try what she calls "regular sex."
Sigmund Freud, generally considered the father of modern psychoanalysis and certainly one of the great students of sexual behavior, has noted that participation in sex is rarely for the sole purpose of procreation but is "the hedonistic gratification of the sexual drive."
Certainly Lili fits this pattern set out by Freud. She not only was not interested in reproduction but was adamantly opposed to it. Her sole interest in sex was her personal enjoyment of the reactions of her body to sexual stimuli. It was, in this sense, the purest example of "the hedonistic gratification of the sexual drive," noted by Sigmund Freud.
It is quite likely that Lili was not aware of her own emotional drive toward sex. Curious she certainly was, made so by her mother's violently expressed attitude. This curiosity manifested itself in her careful inspection of her young charge's sex organ as he lay nude and sleeping. Her immediate reaction, the effort toward masturbation, demonstrates the intensity of her unconscious drive toward sex.
This her eventual seducer immediately detected. Jerry was undoubtedly hypersensitive to just such emotional problems, since he must have had one of his own. That he was an opportunist is quite apparent. He lost no time in making an approach to Lili, catching her--just after her effort at masturbation--in a highly receptive mood. That she was both flattered--by the car, the adult interest in her--and emotionally preconditioned--by her surreptitious survey of the young boy's penis and her own masturbation--made her ideally susceptible to Jerry's approach.
While it cannot be said she "actively initiated" the sexual approach, she certainly was not "a helpless victim" and did "play an active role" in her delinquency.
* * *
"I don't hear anything from Jerry for a couple or three days, and it's Friday, which is usually a good baby-sitting night, only, for some reason, I haven't got a job. Sometimes folks don't call till the last minute and get mad if you have a job that night.
"So I'm up at the corner drugstore, having a soda and treating my girl friend, Emily, outa that ten dollars Jerry gimme. I keep that, sorta secret, not knowin' how to explain an extra ten bucks to Mom and Aunt Beth. So I'm just having fun with it. I'm even planning, if I don't get a baby-sitting job, to maybe go to a movie and tell Aunt Beth Emily invited me and is paying. I make a sort of date with Emily we'll go see this movie--if I don't get a baby-sitting job.
"When I get to Aunt Beth's house she's got a job for me. 'I wrote it down. All the perticklers. Mrs. J wants you to baby-sit her two kids, little girls, five and seven. Says Mrs. W recommended you. And that's their phone number, in case you can't come. Only I know you ain't got a job so I told 'em to count on you. It's from seven o'clock on. Till maybe late, he said. So remember, after twelve, the price is double.'
"I don't know any Mrs. J , but if she's a friend of Mrs. W 's, it's okay by me. Then the name hits me. It's Jerry! Only I don't know he's married and got two kids. I'm kinda disappointed in him, not telling me he is married. And I bet Mrs. W don't know, neither.
"I don't really catch on till he's there in his sports car and picking me up. I start to tell him I think he's mean, not telling me he's married. But just then he chuckles. 'See, kid. I told you you could get a baby-sitting job that don't mean baby-sitting--just fun.' Then I get it. This is what he's talking about. A fake job. And a whole evening to have fun in. Real, breathtaking fun.
"Jerry really is a bachelor. Well, not really. He's divorced, but that's the same. And he has a nice house. Big. Modern. And a place he can drive the car practically inside, so I can get into the house without anybody seeing me. The house doesn't really face the street but out on a backyard he calls a patio. And real modern furniture, deep and wide. Good for sprawling. So I sprawl, which hikes my skirt up, and Jerry is looking real hard at my legs and up inside, to where my panties show. That makes me start getting hot right off.
"Jerry draws the drapes so nobody can't see in from the patio and comes over to look down at me. 'Kid, we'll have fun,' he says, and laughs.
'With no babies, eh?' And hauls me up to give me a real hot-tonguing kiss, all the time running his hands down my back and over my rump, starting things going hotter than ever. 'There's no hurry,' he says. 'We got hours--and nobody to butt in. So we take it easy. Get in some real buildup.' He's already undone my skirt and it drops down, so I've only got on panties and my blouse. He starts undoing my blouse and unhooks my bra and flings that aside. And the first thing I know, I'm just wearing panties and my calf-length socks. And I like the feel of not wearing anything, on account the night is awful warm--and I'm hotter, just having him look at my tits. He kisses me, and then holds me off.
"He turns me around, patting my fanny. 'Just walk around like that, Lili. You've got a beautiful little body. Go on, walk.'
"I guess I suddenly get shy, 'cause I want to huddle all up, but I try to walk around. And after a minute or so I get more confident, I guess, and straighten up, with my breasts stuck out and walk around. First, just--around. Then I get interested in some of the things he's got, big wooden masks all painted up, and bronze figures, not really pretty but sort of interesting. And then I hear him say, 'Take off your panties, Lili.' So I do. Just like that. I drop 'em and step out of 'em, with my back to him, on account I'm looking at this wood figure that has a great big pecker, lots bigger than the figure should have. Mighty near as big as its leg. And standing straight out, like he's ready for a big fuck.
"Jerry calls out, real soft, 'Turn around, Lili, so I can see all of you.' I turn, trying to make it slow and teasing. And see Jerry is naked, too, with his pecker standing straight up, big and shiny. He beckons to me and I walk toward him, suddenly getting scared again, on account it looks like he wants to fuck--like stick that dong in me. And I know that makes babies.
"I stand in front of him, scared. 'Please! You said you wouldn't give me a baby! Please don't screw me!' He shakes his head slow, his tongue darting out. 'I don't intend to, Lili. Just like last time, only better. Lots better. You'll see.' And pulls me on to the couch beside him, so our legs are touching and I can feel the hotness of him and look down at his dong standing up and quivering.
"He leans over and kisses me, real gentle. 'Just--slow, kid. Just--slow.' Then leans over so far I have to almost lie down, with my tits tight up against his chest. He stretches me out on that big, big couch and looks at me, so I'm gulping for breath. Then he slides to the floor beside the couch and starts kissing my breasts while one hand plays around on my legs, sliding down to the tops of my socks and all the way back up to my cunt, playing there for a few minutes and then starting over.
"He runs his tongue over my titties and sucks on my nipples so hard I arch up a little, trying to push 'em deeper into his mouth. Then he runs his tongue right down to my belly button, and swirls it around in there, making me almost sick with excitement--and runs it on down to my slit. My legs just naturally open up for him, and he runs it along the creases between my pelvis and my legs and on down, right on to my cunt--and pulls back, starting all over again, until I'm moaning and grabbing at his shoulders, to push him tighter on to me. I let go with one hand and fumble alongside the couch till I find his leg and slide my hand around until I can grab his prick, big and pulsing.
"Jerry eases my hand off. 'Don't get me going too fast, Lili. We want this to be a real wowzer! Just let me play with you. I'll tell you something, Lili. Men go off lots quicker than girls, so I like to get in a little playtime on you, so we can have a big bang together. Get you really stirred up.'
"So I let go his pecker, though I'm ready enough. I could grab it now and suck on it, tasting him. I have to double my hands into fists to keep from grabbing him and pulling him to me. Only I know I can't. I mean, he's stronger than I am--and right then I ain't got any strength at all. I'm just limp and aching--and getting more so as he plays with my titties and runs his tongue over my stomach and down my legs. I want to take off my calf-length socks but Jerry says no, they make things more sexy.
"I'm so excited I'm almost heaving my cookies, when Jerry finally lifts me and turns me across the couch, so my head is almost off one edge and my legs draped over the big bolster pillow at the back, wide open. I can look right down me, squinting a little, and see over my breasts and down my stomach and the little mound of my snatch and up my legs. I don't know why it is, but those calf-length socks do make things seem more sexy.
"Jerry kisses me, upside down, and starts working his way down my body, teasing at my titties and advancing a little ahead with his hands, so they get to my cunt a little ahead of his tongue. I know it's open for him--I can feel it--and already wet.
"He slides his hands under my little ass and snakes up on my cunt from the rear with his hands, his fingers spreading the lips and playing with my clit until I'm whimpering. Then I see his pecker, big and stiff and pulsing, right at my head. I reach for it, hanging on like it's gonna take a holiday before I can get it in my mouth. I squeeze a little and Jerry moans, but not like he's hurt.
"He clamps his mouth down on my slit and starts sucking, his tongue running in and out and wiggling around. So exciting I almost forget to put his dick in my mouth, only I see that big drop of glisten and I lean up to taste it. And lick at his bulb and squeeze on his prick a little. And tug at it, pulling it to my mouth. Jerry lets me get it in and then lets his whole body down, until his stomach is brushing my titties--and rams his dong deep into my mouth. He forces my head back, down on the edge of the couch, his pecker sliding in and out. I'm sucking so my cheeks go in and out as he pumps.
"I'm humping some, trying to get more of his tongue in my cunt and liking the feel of his hands and lips on my slit. And loving the taste of him. All the time things are winding up inside me. Way up my cunt, up just under my belly button, it seems.
"Maybe Jerry hasn't shaved that evening, or maybe it's the way he's pressing down so hard, but I can feel the rub of his whiskers on the sides of my legs. And taste him! So there's sensation all up me, from my little crotch to my throat. And even down my legs, which are quivering with tension. I'm glad I'm not standing up.
"About then I know I'm gonna explode. Really bust wide open down at my cunt and way up inside. I'm pumping juices, and Jerry is lapping them up. And his dong feels big and pulsy in my mouth. And then it happens, all at once.
"Jerry humps up and rams his prick way down my throat, just as I explode up in me, pumping down more and more juices for him to suck. And his dong swells, once, really big, perty near choking me--and lets go with a big hot gush down my throat. It keeps pumping for so long I think maybe I'll drown, but it tastes so rich and good I almost don't mind. Anyway, other things are happening all up in me so maybe breathing isn't so important. Only just about then his dong starts to wilt. Not much, but some. And he's pulling it out, real slow, so I have a chance to lick at it.
"We stay like that for a while, his lips against my slit and his tongue way up my cunt, lapping juices, and I've got the bulb of his prick in my mouth, licking and sucking. And tasting. I'm still quivering and my legs don't want to work so well. They're limp and quivering, too. Even when Jerry rolls out with a great big sigh and folds up on the couch beside me, one arm up and touching my titties, I'm still tense and quivery. But feeling good. Real good. I can just turn my head a little and see his pecker deflate, drooping and getting smaller. I play with it with my hand, just a little, and it quivers some but doesn't start getting big again.
"Finally, when we've both got our wind back a little, he straightens me out on the couch and lays down beside me, talking softly, telling me how great it was. Like I didn't know. Only it's nice to have him right by me, naked, his body and legs warm--and where I can feel his shudders and he can feel mine.
"I drop one hand down on his pecker, and it's soft now, with some quivers still in it. And Jerry's got a hand on my tit and one down by my cunt, just fingering lightly. He murmurs, almost sleepily, 'And we've still got plenty of time.'
"Like it's all gonna happen again.
"It does, and I like it then as much or maybe more than the first time, because it lasts a little longer. And tastes better. I dunno why, it just does. We sleep a little after that, so it's past one when I have to get up and go home. Even dressing in front of Jerry is exciting, on account I remember so much of that evening while I'm putting on my bra and sliding into my panties. Plus Jerry reaches over every now and then to pat me and stroke my titties or something.
"Jerry gives me twenty bucks for the evening. Seven is for the imaginary baby-sitting and the rest is for me, seeing as I have to turn over the baby-sitting money to Aunt Beth. As we're driving home Jerry tells me to keep Fridays open for these special 'baby-sitting' jobs--whenever I can and he can, in between.
"I can promise to keep Fridays open, but I can't tell if I'm gonna get real baby-sitting jobs other nights. He'll just have to check with Aunt Beth. And not too often, or she'll get suspicious. And that I don't need.
"So Jerry says he'll be discreet.
"Even so, Jerry calls twice during the next week. The first time I got female troubles, which, for once, I'm glad to have, on account that proves Jerry is right and I don't get a baby, and the next time I've got a real sure-enough baby-sitting job, but I promise, where Aunt Beth can hear me, that I'll keep Friday open for the J 's.
"And that sets things really going, because Jerry is the one getting impatient and wanting me. And we really have a ball that Friday. We go down on each other three times, each better than the last, until I'm so weak he practically has to carry me to the car. I revive some, driving home, but I'm really pooped. I stay in bed late on Saturday, which sometimes Aunt Beth lets me, because the rest of the days I really do help around the house. And my baby-sitting brings in money. Cash she can spend, not waiting for Mom's payday or nothing.
"The fourth Friday Jerry asks me if I mind doing it with another guy he knows who likes sex that away. I hadn't never thought of doing it with anybody but Jerry. I mean, I hadn't never thought of doing it at all, until Jerry come along. And I'm kinda shivery about it. Some strange guy! But the idea kinda--well, gets under my skin. You know. Something different. Like I want to know is it just Jerry or is this kinda sex really fun, all on its own. So finally I say yes, if that's what Jerry wants. So we set it up for next Friday.
"Jerry picks me up that Friday, just like it's another baby-sitting job, and we go to his house. This Walt guy is waiting. He is something like Jerry, only not so cute. And he looks me over, like a farmer buying a plow horse. 'She's only a kid, Jerry. We could get into trouble. Real trouble.' . "Jerry hugs me and laughs. 'Don't worry. Lili is discreet. And a great little number. Really great. And wait till you see her figure! A real doll, Walt. A living doll!'
"Even if I'd figgered on doing it with a different man and made up my mind I would, 'cause I really like sex, still I'm getting goose pimples all over, just at the idea of taking off my clothes in front of a stranger. Like I mean, it's one thing to get led into it, gradual, like Jerry done with me, and sump'n else when you go in cold turkey and just get naked in front of a stranger. Specially knowing what he's gonna do to you, like sticking his dong in your mouth and sucking you off. Only, you know, it's kinda funny, thinking about what's gonna get done to me makes the goose pimples go down and I begin to warm up a little in my snatch.
"Jerry is holding me and letting one hand just sort of droop over my tit, playing with it, almost absentminded like, while he's talking. And that begins to get me worked up. I dunno why tits work thataway because what happens don't happen there--but they do. Must sorta be like you push a button on the wall and a light goes on in the ceiling. There's some sorta connection.
"And that's what's happening to me. Jerry's hand just sorta undoes the buttons on my blouse. I don't have no bra on, seeing as I knew what was gonna happen. First thing I know, Jerry's got my blouse undone and hanging open and there are my tits, sticking straight out, and the nipples starting to get hard and tilt up a little.
"Jerry sorta half turns me away, so I don't look at Walt, who is sitting up now, taking notice. He bends down, whispering, 'Don't panic, kid,' and then brushes his lips against my nipple, kinda nibbling with his mouth and easing my blouse off, running his hand down my back, to the band of my skirt, playing with it, and sweet-talking me, so I'm beginning to quiver all up my front.
"My skirt drops down. I don't have on panties, either. Like I say, what's the use? Except for my shoes and calf-length socks, I'm naked. And Jerry's hands are wandering, which feels awful good. So good I almost forget about this Walt character. One hand slides down my front and across my slit, moving easy, and the other moves down my back and around, under my arm, just moving my tit a little, pushing it up against his chest. I lift my face and he slides his mouth over mine, giving me a real hot tonguing that pretty near reaches my tonsils.
"Jerry keeps his hand on my snatch and holds me real firm at the shoulders and lifts me, his hand pressing hard up on my hot box and his fingers working, so I'm kinda weak and excited. He carries me like that to the big couch, with my head almost buried in his neck. One shoe drops off, then the other. But they ain't going nowhere. The floor's down there to catch 'em, ain't it? They ain't walking, without me in 'em.
"And hands me over to Walt. Just puts me in his arms, and I'm being snuggled up against his chest. I hide my face against Walt's shoulder so he can't see if I'm blushing. I think I am, on account my face feels hot, almost as hot as my snatch. And Walt keeps right on where Jerry left off. One arm around my shoulders and a hand playing with my tit and the other running slow and easy up and down my leg, inside my thigh, just brushing my cunt and slipping away.
"It's so much like what Jerry's always done to me to get me hotted up that I am pretty soon getting over my panic and beginning to like what's happening. Walt cranes his head around and kisses me on the ear. So I lift my face then and give him my mouth and we have a real hot tongue-kissing, which gets hotter as his fingers begin playing around and up my slit.
"I haven't looked at Walt since Jerry started playing with me, so I'm kinda surprised when I drop my hand and feel his bare leg--and fumble around to feel his dong.
"It seems to me it's bigger around than Jerry's but maybe not so long. But I'm so stirred up and churned up I can't really tell. I just hang on, feeling it jump and quiver in my hand and get awful hard. And he's holding me off a little and kissing my titties and tonguing my nipples till, like usual, I can't breathe. And I can see he's only got his sport shirt on. If he'd had another hand maybe he'd unbutton it. So, with my free hand I unbutton it for him, whilst he's tonguing my nipples--and they're hard, real hard.
"Walt's shirt falls open. He's got more hair on his chest than Jerry, I think, though I honestly ain't been paying that much attention to Jerry's chest. Walt lays me out on the couch and sort of crouches by it, looking at my titties and letting his eyes slide all the way down me, which is almost like having his hand do it. One hand keeps playing with my titties while he shucks out of his shirt. Then he transfers hands and slides that one out--and he's naked.
"Walt leans way over me, bending down, so his chest just brushes my breasts, wiggling, just a little. I'm beginning to moan a little and reach again for his dong, alongside the couch. It's plenty hard and really jerking and quivering, like he's ready. Only he keeps on playing with me, teasing my nipples with his tongue and letting his hands play around my cunt, opening it up and teasing my clit, so I hump up with a squeal. He slides his tongue down my belly and along those creases, and down into my slit, which two of his fingers are holding open. His tongue works hard and quick, in little darting motions, in and out and sideways, till I'm wriggling and near about to scream. And I want his dick in my mouth. I want to taste him, and feel my throat stretch and "Walt turns me on the couch, so my head's perty near hanging over and my legs are cocked up on the bolster and slides his tongue all up and down me, till I'm wriggling. I've got ahold of his dong and I keep trying to pull it up to my mouth. Then suddenly he leans way over, sliding his chest down my front, and clamps his mouth on my slit, his tongue pushing in and out. And humps his hips, so his pecker is aiming right at me.
"It's bigger than Jerry's all the way, I can see, and a little pointier. Kinda tapering. I milk it a little and suddenly he lowers his hips and jams his dong right in my mouth, before I even get a chance to lick at his glistening gob. But I taste him right away. He humps up and down, sliding his dong almost out of my mouth and then deep in, while my tongue is lapping at that good man-taste of him.
"I think maybe things build a little faster with Walt, or maybe it only seems so, but suddenly I'm squirming and moaning and about ready to explode, letting everything and moaning and about ready to explode, letting everything go inside. Walt raises up, till I have to raise my head a little to keep his prick in my mouth--and then he just drops down, driving that dong so far down my throat it seems he'll never get it out. And he quivers there, just barely moving up and down, his little bush scratching a little on my chin and his balls knocking against my nose.
"And way up me juices are busting loose, and his tongue is screwing around inside my cunt like he's eating my juices with his tongue. And his big tapered dong is pulsing like crazy--and then it lets go. I can feel his come pulse down his dong and down my throat, way deep in. And taste him. Oh, man-oh-man, it's good! Wonderful! What's happening up my cunt and what's going down my throat. Wow! But good! Maybe better than with Jerry. Only, I think each time with Jerry is better than the last, so maybe it's just building.
"We lie like that for a little while. It can't be long, on account of I can't breathe with his dong so far down my gullet, but it's already shrinking and sliding out. So I get a chance to lick it and taste his come and still breathe a little. Walt keeps his mouth pressed over my slit, licking up the juices and sliding his tongue around inside, scooping up the last bit, it seems like.
"Finally Walt sighs and slides off me, pulling himself up my front, letting his tongue play tricks as it goes up to teasing my nipples and finally sliding into my mouth so we have an upside-down tongue-kissing. Then he stands up, staggering a little. And I just lie there.
"Then I look up to see Jerry is naked, too, with his dong up and raring to go, quivering. He grins at me. 'What about it, Lili? Can you take another? He leans over me, starting to tongue my nipples before I can even answer. And then there ain't no need to answer. I'm shivering and pushing my titties up at him. He runs his tongue down me, all the way to my slit, leaving his pecker hanging smack in front of me.
"And I'm ready to go again. I grab his pecker and start pulling it toward my mouth, like I can't never get enough of tasting that man-taste.
"And it seems I can't. When Jerry finally lets go, pumping his come down my throat, I figger that's it--and I'm sucking like crazy to get the best of it. Only that ain't all.
"Soon as Jerry is finished, Walt is back, ready for another round. And it all starts over. I don't even move from my position on the couch, head just at the edge and my legs cocked up. And Walt goes down on me again, and again I'm sucking like a starved calf on a cow's tit--only it's Walt's dick.
"And then Jerry is ready again. And I take him.
"Three times for each of 'em, and I'm bushed.
"Along about one o'clock Jerry wakes me up. He's dressed, and Walt is gone. 'Can you make it home, baby?' he says, and helps me up. My legs still feel a little rubbery and my stomach heaves a coupl'a times, but I'm all right. Jerry gives me some milk and cookies and that sets me up. He suggests maybe I better take a shower and that really perks me up. I'm almost ready for another round, but Jerry helps me into my clothes, just playing with my titties a little and patting my rump.
"Jerry gives me his usual twenty, and then, looking at the clock, adds another five. 'For overtime.' Then hands me five tens. 'That's Walt's contribution.'
"I stare at all that money. 'What'll I do with it, Jerry? Aunt Beth and Mom'll know I never earned that much baby-sitting.'
"Jerry frowns over that a minute. 'Tell you what. I'll keep it for you and next week you can open a bank account with it. You know how to handle a bank account?'
"I've heard enough about bank accounts from Aunt Beth, it seems I could operate a bank, so I nod. Jerry grins. 'It'll be a start, Lili. A start.'
"I don't understand what he means till the next Friday when he picks me up for 'baby-sitting.' He drives a ways and then stops, turning to me. 'Look, Lili, there's lotsa guys that like sex the way you can do it. Lots. And they pay plenty of money for it. Plenty even just watch.'
"That sounds kinda kooky to me. Who wants to watch sex? When you can get it for real. But there is guys like that. I know. I've met plenty since that night.
"Anyway, Jerry is holding me kinda light and feeling my breasts and sliding his hand up my legs, so I'm getting excited right there in the car. I'm kinda scared, but I remember I was scared about Walt, too, and it turned out just fine. So I kiss Jerry, tonguing a little and say, 'Sure. What's the harm, so long as I don't get a baby. You promise that?'
"Jerry promises and we start off again, not to his house but somewhere else. There's maybe six-eight men there and a room with a big Hollywood bed in it. I'm shivery, but Jerry fixes the lights so I can't see the men and it's almost like we're alone when he undresses me and starts playing with my titties and laying me on the bed, and lapping at my cunt--and ramming his prick down my throat. While that's happening, I forget all about the men watching. Who can think of that when you're having a ball with sex? "When Jerry gets through, Walt takes me again, almost before I've got time to catch my breath. And then some other guy comes to the bed, a guy I never seen before--and we're working on each other. Before I know it, I've done sucked off five guys--and believe you me, I'm pooped. Sex is fun, but five in a row! At least, when I sucked off both Walt and Jerry there is a little time in-between, but this is continuous. One, two, three...
"That seems enough for the guys. They're satisfied. Why not? They've had a two-hour show of some real fancy sex, and three of 'em, not counting Jerry and Walt, have gone down on me. What's more, Jerry gives me two hundred and fifty dollars--plus my regular 'baby-sitting' money--on the way home. Two hundred and fifty dollars! Wow! For having fun! So I'm getting more money than I've ever seen before.
"Of course, I'm droopy the next day, but so what? Aunt Beth says maybe I'm working too hard and staying up too late, but I tell her it's all right. I like being able to help out. Only I don't tell how much more I could help out. I've got better'n three hundred dollars in the bank. For having fun and not getting any babies.
"Some Friday nights I make maybe four hundred or four fifty, going down on guys and letting 'em go down on me. But I always start off with Jerry, on account I like him best. I guess a girl always likes her first man best.
"Then Jerry introduces a girl into it. She's not as young as me, but real cute. At first I'm sorta confused over what we do, but she sets me straight. She's no lez, either. Just a kid out to make some dough. It ain't even real fun to her, like it is to me. But we get on all right. She takes some of the guys, too, sort of spelling me. And once in a while we are both going down on guys, the same time. Double-decking, Jerry calls it.
"And other ways, too, like this girl--her name is Judy or she calls herself that, just Judy--she sucks off a guy and the guy sucks off me whilst I'm sucking off a third guy who is sucking off Judy. Daisy-chain.
"And then there is movies. Not real for-theater-showing movies. Just what Jerry calls 'art films.' And I'm making money like crazy, man. Seems lotsa guys like to look at girls suckin' off guys and getting sucked off. In all kindsa positions, some of 'em not so comfortable, but all of 'em exciting. I'm not doing it for the money, see, even if it's nice to see the bank account growing. It's the fun and excitement, without being afraid I'll get a baby.
"Judy don't mind getting screwed, regular fashion, but I don't go for it. I mean, I'm scared of getting a baby. Oh, I know there's the Pill. Now I do. But still, Mom has built up such a scare in me, I don't know as I'll ever get around to screwing regular man-woman fashion.
"Oh, I know you psychiatrist guys want to 'readjust me' to what you figure is 'normal sex,' but why? I been having fun. And getting paid for it, too. I guess it was the movies tipped you off to raid the place, only I don't know how.
"Oh, I moved out'a Aunt Beth's a year or so ago. Got me a nice little apartment with Judy. But we don't suck each other off, like lez's would. Me, 'cause I don't much care for it and her because she only does it to get paid. And I like men and the way they taste. So that ain't bein' a lez, is it? So I think you're making a real 'thing' outa nothing. I only took this here 'psychiatric therapy' or whatever, on account the court said I had to or go to jail. And there ain't any men in a woman's jail. So I tell you I'm all fixed up, huh. All 'normal' again. And maybe you want me to prove by screwing you? Okay, okay! Keep your hair shirt on. I'm only kidding. I wouldn't anyway. Why?
"I dunno. Honest, I don't. No it ain't anything like saving my virginity or nothing like that. Leastwise, I don't think so, though maybe a psychiatrist like you could figure that out. Session over?"
* * *
No, the chances are that Lillian is going to have to go through a great number of psychotherapeutic sessions before she reaches the final one--if ever. The twisted fear that has been ingrained in the girl by her mother, her obvious obsession with oral-genital lovemaking (the profit is a side "benefit" as she admits herself), and her attitude prohibit the voicing of any optimistic prognosis.
CHAPTER TWO - Nanny the Mouth
"I guess you could call me the proverbial poor rich kid. Both my parents were high up in the social register, and neither had time for me, so they put me in the charge of my nanny.
"And I remember nanny better than anybody else from my childhood, mostly because she was responsible for fucking me up.
"Nanny was thirty-two years old when she came to work for my parents, and she was a looker. A Norwegian girl, with long blonde hair and a big set of knockers. To this day the chauffeur still talks about her, when his wife, the cook, isn't around, that is. "Well, Bridgett--that was nanny's name--took an instant like to me. Man, did she. That first night she spent in my room she proved that to me.
"I was three years old, but I remember what she did to me and what she made me do to her like it was yesterday.
"I remember she was giving me a bath. I guess I was messing around with the soap and water like any three-year-old would do, and so, to calm me down, Bridgett puts her hand on my little pecker and starts to stroke me. Now, believe it or not, I was only three, but my cock responded. I don't think it got hard or anything like that, but I know damned well that it felt good.
"The more she stroked, the better I liked it, and as soon as she'd pull her hand away I'd start wailing. And when I was a kid I sure could wail. So Bridgett put the hand back. She kept rubbing and rubbing and I got to like her better and better.
"Finally, I guess, all the action on my pecker got me sleepy. Something did, because I can remember falling sound asleep right there in the bathtub.
"Then, the next thing I knew I was in bed. But not in my bed. I was in Bridgett's and she was bare-assed naked and she had me positioned right between her legs.
"She sort of pulled my head up between her legs and angled my face so I was looking right up her cunt. Of course, I didn't know it was a cunt at the time, and neither did I know that what she wanted me to suck on was her clitoris. And the third thing I didn't know was just how fucking big Bridgett's clit was. I know it filled my mouth, and felt good for me to suck on. I guess you could say it was the size of a small cock.
"Anyway, that's the way we went to sleep that first night. After stroking me until I was ready for bed, she got me between her legs and I somehow managed to spend the whole night with her clit in my mouth. I guess I sucked her off even in my sleep. She sure did seem happy.
"There were a couple of improvements in Bridgett's and my relationship over the next couple of years. She got to the point where, instead of just stroking my prick, she'd lean down and suck on it. Course, I don't think I ever came, but it sure felt good. And, eventually, she got me to expand my little sex act. I'd suck on the clit, sure, but I'd also eat out her whole pussy, shoving my face against those soft cunt lips and getting my tongue up in there as far as it would go- "And that went on every damned night. I was the best behaved kid in the world because all I could think of and look forward to was getting my bath and going to bed. I'd want to go to bed at three o'clock in the afternoon.
"Of course, this idyllic little relationship came to an end when I started school. Bridgett was told she was no longer needed--I cried for a fucking week--and was sent to another couple whom my parents knew. I hope their kid was as lucky as I was.
"But when I look back on it, I guess I really wasn't so lucky, because now that I'm eighteen I've got the biggest damned hang-up in the world.
"I spend ninety per cent of my time looking for a blonde number, with big knockers, who'll suck me off and let me suck her off. That's all I want, man. All I think about.
"And it's been that way almost since the day Bridgett left. In grade school it wasn't so bad, but I still thought about it. I even went to see Bridgett once. Had to take four different buses. But I got there. And when I did, Bridgett wouldn't have anything to do with me. Sure, she was pleasant enough, but she wouldn't let me suck on her and she wouldn't suck on me.
"I hated her guts for years.
"And when I got a little older, things got worse. I'd dream of Bridgett every damned night, and have a wet dream over her just about every night. Course, the position I was in didn't help matters much. My parents sent me to a military school way out in the boondocks and the only thing I could find in way of consolation was my own hand. And one of the teachers told us if we jacked off too much we'd get pimples on our necks. And I didn't want any of that shit. So I dreamed of Bridgett and messed up my bed almost every night.
"I finally got out of that rotten school when I was seventeen. Left the military behind me forever, I hope. And when it came to picking out colleges, I naturally picked the one in the biggest city I could find. New York. Columbia University. I figured if I couldn't find a pussy to eat out in New York City, I'd never find one.
"I got an apartment with two other guys who'd been to military school with me and started looking. Looking for pussy to suck, I mean. And it didn't take long. Man, you'd be surprised just how many of those 'liberated' chicks like to have their pussies eaten out. And they're not above giving a guy a little head now and again either.
"We had a party in the apartment the first weekend we were there. I had a date with this blonde--naturally--named Sara. She spelled it S-a-r-a. Great looking girl. She was a little stuck-up, but her folks had money, so I guess she was entitled to be.
"We got stoned out of our minds on grass and white wine. Man, we were all beautiful. Sitting around, staring sometimes, and sometimes rapping.
"Sara was looking better and better to me, and then, when she sort of shifted her ass around on the floor, her skirt raised up even farther on her leg. I mean, if I had bent down a half inch I could have seen her goddamned pussy.
"Now, I'm not a man to let an opportunity like that slip by. I put my hand on her knee and started to move up. I expected her to pull away, or slam me on the side of the head, but she didn't. She just sat there and sort of giggled. Which was fine with me. "I moved my hand farther up, on her inner thigh. Christ, she felt good. Soft and smooth. Beautiful legs. I could feel my cock jamming against my pants, wanting to get out and into that gorgeous giggling mouth of hers.
"None of the other guys or their dates were paying much attention to Sara and me, so that left the field wide open. I leaned over and kissed her on the mouth and at the same time ran my hand up all the way under her dress. I ran my finger over her cunt hairs. She had pants on, but I could still feel them.
"Let me tell you, that was the closest I'd come to pussy in years. But I'd been dreaming of it forever.
"I kissed her again and kept my hand right up there on her cunt. She felt a little wet through her pants, which turned me on even more. And then, while we were still licking and sucking around on each other's mouth, she reached over and grabbed a handful of my cock. Sure, it was through my pants, but I still almost shot off the second she touched me.
"It occurred to me right then and there that I had nothing to lose by trying what I wanted to do. So what if she slugged me and walked out? I barely knew her at all. Hell, she was the first girl I ever dated in New York. If she took off, there were a million others who wouldn't.
"I moved my hand around on her cunt until I could slip a couple of fingers under her pants. So far so good. I was down to the hair. And it was wild. I wasn't in the position to take hold of her clit, so I just slowly slid my middle finger up her pussy. She gasped a little but still didn't move away from me.
"I had my back to the other people in the room, but I thought they had to be watching me, and that just about blew my mind. Hell, I was going to get the biggest reputation possible as a goddamned lover.
"I added another finger up her cunt. I found the clit but I still wasn't in a very good position to do anything on it. Just rub it. Sara was groaning like crazy now and she just kept feeling up my cock.
"Man, I just knew I was going to get what I'd always wanted. And right on the fucking living-room floor. Right in front of everybody.
"I gently eased her back until she was lying on the floor. We were still kissing and I was still working on her cunt. I wanted her pants off. So I slipped my fingers out of her and slowly ran my hand up her belly to the waistband. I got on the waistband and started to pull. Goddamn, if she didn't raise her ass and let me pull her pants down. Down on her thighs. Down past her calves. And off! Holy Christ, within minutes I had her pants off.
"Now the coast was clear to that pussy I'd been after so long. For a second or two I was afraid to touch her. I was so excited I was scared I'd shoot my wad as soon as my hand touched her. But I didn't. I controlled myself and I put my hand on her silky pussy hairs. I felt the moisture. God, my heart was beating like it was going to explode.
"Slowly, then, I started to inch down her body, kissing her tits and belly through her blouse. I sort of neglected them. It wasn't that I wasn't interested; I was just too anxious to get to her pussy.
"I had her skirt up around her waist and I could see what I wanted coming into view. I let my tongue lap down her lower belly, and there I was. Moist hairs almost sticking in my face.
"Just for a second, I turned around. I wanted to see if anybody was watching us. They were. My two buddies were sitting there with their mouths open. Staring. The girls were watching, too, but they didn't seem as excited.
"I closed my eyes and swallowed a huge lump in my throat. Then I lowered my face, right on that damp cunt. I licked her pussy lips and slowly eased my tongue inside. She tasted so damned sweet. She just about filled my mouth with her juices.
"And then, with my tongue, I found her clit. It wasn't nearly as big as Bridgett's had been, but it was big enough first to lick and then get my mouth on. I closed my lips over it and felt the greatest thrill of my life when it started to twitch. I sucked as hard as I could, until Sara was almost writhing on the floor. I sucked some more and Sara groaned even louder.
"I stuck my tongue back up into her pussy, shoving it up into her as far as it would go. I twirled my tongue, eating out and licking out the insides of her pussy.
"My cock by this time had my pants soaking wet. Sara was still reaching down and squeezing it. I knew I'd have to shoot soon. I was that excited.
"While I still had my tongue up inside her, I reached down and moved her hand away for a second. Wildly, I unzipped my fly and reached in my pants. I cursed myself for wearing underwear, but finally I got my prick out in the air. I reached for her hand and moved it to my cock. She sighed her appreciation, which made me feel about ten feet high.
"I pulled my face away from her pussy for just a second and looked over at her. 'Suck it,' I said softly. 'Suck my cock.'
"I didn't think she'd do it. Especially not in front of those other people, but she scooted around--keeping her pussy glued to my mouth--and pretty soon we were lying side by side. She reached over with her mouth and I felt my cock slip into that warm, wet hole. My whole body shook with excitement. I was ready to shoot. But she seemed to sense that and backed off a little, playing with just the tip with her tongue, then licking me up and down the shaft.
"I got control of myself and reached for her. I pulled her head back to my cock. She swallowed the whole fucking thing. Right down her throat. Not gagging or anything. And did she suck! Oh man, did she suck.
"I wasn't any slouch myself. I .wetted her pussy lips down with my tongue and then shoved it all the way in again. I stretched my tongue until I thought it would snap. I wanted to get into her farther than anybody ever would again. I wanted to eat cunt for the rest of my fucking life. This was the greatest thing that had ever happened to me.
"I heard her say something, but I couldn't make out the words. So I ignored her. But then she pulled off my cock again and said what she had to say even louder. 'Fuck me now,' she whispered. She sounded real hoarse. 'Fuck me hard.'
"I didn't want to leave that warm, beautiful pussy, so I just ignored her again. But in a couple of seconds, she was pushing my head away. I looked up at her. I was disappointed as hell.
" 'Fuck me. Please,' she said in that same hoarse whisper. I tried to pull her head back to my cock, but she wouldn't do it. She just lay there and kept whispering, 'Fuck me now' over and over again.
"I was reluctant as hell to leave that gorgeous pussy and little button of a clit, but I figured I had to. After all, it's the obligation of the male to satisfy the woman, right?
"So I pulled off and knelt. My cock was still sticking through my fly, so I unfastened my belt and pushed my pants down to my knees. I took a quick look at my buddies behind me. They were still staring.
"I got between Sara's legs. Without any urging or help from me, she put her legs up on my shoulders. I looked down. Her pussy, all wet and shiny, was staring me in the face. More than anything else in the world I wanted to get my face back on that hole. But she wanted to get fucked, so I'd fuck her. I moved closer and felt the knob of my cock brush against her pussy hairs. I aimed and shoved. My cock slid in nice and easy. All the way. Sara was no tight virgin.
"I started to stoke into her. It felt good, but not as good as when she was sucking me off. Then suddenly, I felt some of the rigidity go out of my cock. It was still halfway hard, and I could still fuck her with it, but it wasn't really hard. And then, a couple of seconds later, it wasn't hard at all.
"Sara must have known what was happening because all of a sudden she was moving all over the place, squeezing my cock with her pussy, trying desperately to get it hard.
"That didn't work. It was like a limp dishcloth. Useless.
"Sara reached up and put her hand behind my neck. She pulled me down toward her. 'I'll suck it hard for you,' she whispered, and gratefully I pulled my marshmallow out of her cunt.
"She moved around into a position where she could get hold of my cock. As soon as her lips touched the knob and then slid down the whole length, it started to harden. Three good sucks from her and it was hard as a rock again.
"Sara moved fast this time. She got back on the floor, raised her legs and had my cock ramming into her cunt in seconds. She wasn't about to waste my hard on.
"But it was wasted. I stroked into her five times maybe, and the damned thing started to wilt. Bigger than shit. I could feel it getting soft inside her. I felt like crying, that's how frustrated I was. Four people watching me and my cock wouldn't stay hard! What a crock of shit that was.
"She pulled off me this time. She looked me square in the face. 'C'mon, baby,' she said, 'Momma's getting tired from all this moving around.'
"But she got down again and swallowed my cock. To the hairs. And just as you'd expect, the damned thing lengthened and hardened in no time.
"As soon as it was all the way hard, she took her mouth off it. She turned around on the floor, staying on her hands and knees, and damned near shoved her pussy in my face. 'Try it this way,' she said.
"I looked down at her wide-open pussy. The only thing I could think about was how much I wanted to put my face down there and eat her and suck her until she was screaming with pleasure.
"She reached back and spread her cunt lips even more for me. I had the target right in front of me. I moved closer to her. I felt my cock start to soften already. But then I closed my eyes and kept thinking about my mouth on her pussy, and her mouth on my cock. And damn if my prick didn't get hard again.
"I was happy as hell as I shoved it full length into her and heard her groan with pleasure. I held on to her hips and plowed into her. I wanted to come in her this way. To show her I was a man. I stroked hard into her again and again, trying to concentrate on my fucking, but then, all of a sudden, my mind started to wander. I wanted to be at her pussy with my mouth. I wanted to taste her sex juices in my mouth. And I wanted to have my cock down her throat, and feel her lips and tongue on it.
"My cock started to shrivel. As fast as that. And Sara was disgusted. She slipped to the floor on her back. Then she leaned up, looking straight at me. 'For Christ's sake,' she said. 'Is there a man in the house? This guy can't keep a hard on.'
"Tony, one of the guys I lived with, was fast to oblige. He had his pants off and his cock out in no time at all.
"I was still kneeling there when Tony sank his cock to the hilt in Sara's--my date's--cunt. They bounced around on that floor like a couple of puppets, until Tony groaned real loud and pressed hard against her. He was coming. Then she started to groan, writhing around on the floor. Sara was coming. My date was coming with another guy's cock up her pussy. Man, I hated Bridgett so damned much at that second, I could have killed her."
* * *
The foregoing is an almost classic example of the severe and disabling mental conflicts that can be set up in a child by sexual involvement at too early an age. Many observers from Freud to the present day have warned of the possible lasting effects of such early exposure in persons too young or too immature to resolve possible emotional conflict. The situation presently before us is, of course, not unusual--the wealthy, socially involved parents, too busy to care for their child themselves, leaving it in the hands of a nanny or nursemaid. The dependency of the young child on this substitute mother figure, and the ensuing sexual entanglement conspire to create an emotional unbalance that hinders normal childhood development.
Of particular interest and importance is the increasing isolation of these two individuals, child and adult, from normal contact with others and their increasing reliance upon each other for ordinary comforts and diversion. The frustrated nursemaid, restricted in her association with others of her own age, particularly men, and the sexually curious child, eager to please the substitute "mother" is a situation calculated to initiate the most devastating psychological aftereffects. The noted authority Dr. Benjamin Karpman comments on the implications of such excessive isolation in childhood, in his Sexual Offender and His Offenses:
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The reason for sexual maladjustment in adults, sexual difficulties in children, antisocial sexual behavior in general, is the fact that we lack a sound, consistent, wholesome attitude toward sex as individuals and as a group. The fundamental approach is prevention which again goes back to childhood If the youngster has learned to be an active part of the life about him, has not had his curiosity and his capacity for being interested excessively thwarted, has been allowed to feel that it was not wrong to act out some of his impulses within reasonable limits, then he is likely to have available to him a variety of methods for sublimating his primitive sexual drives.
---
Terry O.'s preoccupation as a child with sucking his nurse's clitoris, and his almost exclusive interest in oral sexual techniques during later years give strong evidence of a protracted infantilism. There is clear suggestion of a substitution of the vagina for the breast as a source of oral gratification, quite possibly also a connection in the young man's mind between the action of sucking and the earlier, primal search for nourishment, though in later years quite distorted. One cannot but be impressed, in this regard, by the young man's almost inadvertent confession concerning his first college experience: "I started to inch down her body, kissing her tits and belly through her blouse. I sort of neglected them. It wasn't that I wasn't interested; I was just too anxious to get to her pussy."
Further complicating an already overdeveloped concern with oral-genitalism is an inability to perform in the usual, expected manner with the young lady. The shock of temporary impotency and the ensuing humiliation at the hands of his friend, Tony, could easily have resulted in severe complications of his already pressing maladjustment. Fortunately for the subject, his friend, Tony, unlike the young lady, Sara, seemed to have some understanding, or at least sympathy, for his predicament. It is difficult to say what might have been the result had his friend reacted the same way as Sara. The subject's outburst during his interview, "Man, I hated Bridgett so damned much at that second, I could have killed her," is only a hint of possible future complications.
It is of particular interest to the observer that this emotional outburst should have been directed against his old nursemaid--the substitute mother figure--instead of the more immediate causes of his sexual humiliation, Tony and Sara. We should not fail to take account of the possible underlying oedipal complications of this young man's problem. Drs. Sandor Lorand and Henry I. Schneer discuss this aspect in their paper in the Comprehensive Textbook of Psychiatry:
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Like the neurotic, the deviant has specific pathogenic repressions: he has unconscious oedipal conflicts and unconscious castration anxiety. Similarly, disturbances in genital primacy in neurosis and sexual deviations alike may be attributed to the same factors--anxiety and guilt feelings which are associated with the oedipus complex. But anxiety over loss of love or sexual excitement is less important in sexual deviation. Rather, classical psychoanalytic theory postulates that it is always castration anxiety (and derivative guilt feelings) which prevent the deviant from achieving sexual pleasure.
---
There can be little doubt that in an older and more morally rigid period of history the subject's sexual problems and his inability to deal with them in a mature manner might have resulted in a different and less happy ending. He was fortunate to have as a friend, someone like Tony, who could avoid prejudgments and false "masculine" boasting, which could only have furthered the young man's humiliation. Tony's comment, "... the only reason I could fuck in front of all those people was that you had me so riled up," undoubtedly served to relieve some of the subject's anxiety and guilt feelings and diminish the inevitable self-laceration which accompanies public failure, especially in such an ego-sensitive area as sexual performance.
It is interesting to note that the subject performed much more successfully in his second encounter. The group sex scene has come into more and more prominence in the past few years, and it should not surprise the sophisticated observer that college-age youth has adapted this innovation to its own purposes. There can be little doubt that the relaxed atmosphere and the obvious acceptance of the situation by his peers did much to quiet the young man's disabling anxieties. The famous investigator, Albert Ellis, writing in the previously mentioned Annals (378), comments on this new attitude:
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A definite change in sex attitudes has therefore recently occurred, in many respects, indeed, a kind of American sex revolution. I have stated for the last several years that, as a result of this revolution, our people are not necessarily engaging in considerably more overt nonmarital acts than they did in previous years, but they are leading unconventional sex lives with much less shame, guilt, and self-deprecation than they ever did at any other time in American history.
---
It was perhaps inevitable that the subject's almost compulsive search for the source of his erotic imaginings should have ended in his finding Bridgett--and even more inevitable that he should suffer a profound disillusionment. His mature reaction to this can only bode well for his future progress.
* * *
"For the life of me, I couldn't bring myself to face my buddies. That bit with Sara--or, rather, what didn't happen with Sara--was the most embarrassing thing that had ever happened to me.
"I spent all my time in my room alone. I'd come back from class and go right inside my room. Then I'd sneak out and get something to eat and head right back. I didn't want to see or talk to anybody.
"Finally, after about a week, one of my buddies knocked on the door. It was Tony. 'Hey, what's the matter with you?' he asked when I finally let him in. I muttered something about there being nothing wrong, but Tony wouldn't let it go at that.
" 'It was that scene the other night, wasn't it?' he asked.
"I nodded miserably. 'Goddamn it, Tony,' I said, 'that was the worst thing that ever happened to me.'
"Tony laughed. But he could afford to laugh. It wasn't his cock that wouldn't stay hard. And he'd had the fuck with Sara.
" 'You can't worry about that,' he said finally. 'You don't have any problem. From where I was sitting, your cock was hard as a rock. And the only reason I could fuck in front of all those people was because you had me so riled up.'
" 'That the truth?' I asked. I was willing to accept any explanation.
" 'Sure,' he answered. 'And just to prove what I'm saying is right, I've got a great bit for you.'
"I asked him what the scene was, and he explained that this water-polo jock in one of his classes had told him about this real freaky whorehouse they had set up on 121st Street.
" 'A couple of young girls run it,' Tony explained. 'No madam or anything. They use their own apartment. They've got wall-to-wall mattresses and anything goes. And everybody who's there does whatever they do right in front of people. You pay your money when you go in and take what you want.'
"We decided to go together to the whorehouse the next night. So about seven o'clock we headed for a friend's house and imbibed a little in some grass and wine. The 'friend' was Tony's and she was about the greatest looking cunt you've ever seen in your life. Of course, she didn't know where we were going when we left her. And she didn't seem the type who'd want to know. The bad part was that I really liked her and wanted to stay. But I had promised Tony, and to back out now would have made me look like a fink.
"We left Anne's apartment and headed for the address on 121st Street. It was a big old building, like most of them are around Columbia, with a doorman and the whole bit. The doorman asked us who we were there to see and when we told him, his eyes lit up like a Christmas tree. He knew the scene; hell, he was probably getting a cut.
" 'Have fun,' he chuckled as we headed to the elevator.
"Apartment 8G. We rang the bell. This de-cent-looking broad--nothing special--answered. She was dressed in this little nightgown that showed everything she had from her ears to her toes. I took one look at that pussy of hers peeking out from the gown and felt my cock harden right off. I wanted to suck it.
"It cost ten dollars for each of us. But it was going to be worth it. I knew it would. And just to show you how efficient the operation was, there was a row of lockers for the 'customers.'
"Tony and I stripped off our clothes. Damn, I didn't know if I liked this or not. It seemed sort of cold-blooded. But my cock sure was anticipating some action. It was standing up hard and ready.
"I stashed my clothes in the locker. There wasn't any key or anything and I can remember being grateful that I hadn't brought more than a couple of bucks over the ten I had to pay at the door.
"The living room had a few real low lights in it, and sure enough it was wall-to-wall mattress. I stood at the door and let my eyes get accustomed to the gloom. There were seven girls sitting around the room, all almost naked, but with a little on to make you use your imagination. And besides Tony and myself, three guys. But they were all busy over in the corners.
Fucking and sucking and getting sucked. It was really a scene.
"Three of the girls were taken, so that left four for me and Tony to pick from. I spotted this blonde sitting over by a far doorway and headed there immediately. I stood over her. 'Hi,' I said. Hell, in a situation like this, I didn't know what to say.
" 'Hi,' she answered, 'what do you go for?' Now how's that for a come-on. I think I could have said something like 'Jumping off buildings' and she would have gone along with it.
" 'I like to suck pussy,' I said, and almost before I got the words out of my mouth, she'd pulled the little robe she had on off and was stretching out, giving me a wide-open view of the most gorgeous pussy I'd ever seen in my life.
" 'I like to get head, too,' I said before getting down on my knees in front of her.
" 'Okay, baby, whatever you want,' she whispered and I thought my head was going to blow off.
"I lowered my head and nestled my nose in her cunt hairs. They were a real light brown and silky as hell. I brushed my tongue on them, wetting them down a little. Then I slowly ran my tongue around on her cunt lips. She sighed heavily and leaned farther back. I guess she knew she had a real cunt-licker on her hands.
" I eased my tongue up into her cunt. Moved it around, drinking up all the pussy juice I could find. Then I grabbed hold of her clit. It was bigger than the one Sara had, but still not as big as Bridgett's. But I wasn't complaining. I bit that damned clit real gentle like and then managed to get almost the whole thing in my mouth. I sucked on it like it was the only nourishment I'd had in a year.
"While I still had my face buried in her cunt, I reached up and got hold of her hand. I moved my body around a little so she could get to me, and then I put her hand right on my cock. That damned prick of mine was ready for anything.
"She started to move around and aim her mouth for my pecker. She moved slowly and that turned me on--you know, the anticipation of her sucking my cock. I had all the things back that I'd had with Bridgett Only better. I was enjoying it a hell of a lot more.
"Finally, her mouth got to my prick and she started to play around with the knob with her tongue. Then, whomp, she took as much as she could. To be honest, she wasn't as good a cock-sucker as Sara had been, but I wasn't about to complain. She made up in enthusiasm for what she lacked in experience. Or maybe Sara just had a bigger mouth.
"And this broad was really wet. She kept leaking juices and I kept lapping them up. I could feel her love sauce coating my tongue.
"Just when we were going strong, I felt her pull her mouth off my cock. I was disappointed but was too busy to say anything or do anything to stop her.
"She kept giving my body little shoves until I finally got the idea of what she wanted and rolled over on my back. Almost instantly, she was up on her knees. I pulled my mouth away from her and looked in her face. She had a glazed look on her that really turned me on.
"She moved over on top of me and straddled my face. Then she lowered her body. My nose, mouth, and everything was glued to her pussy. I couldn't even breathe. But it was the best kind of torture I'd ever had.
"I jammed my tongue up into her as far as it would go. I was pulling the damned thing out by the roots, but I wanted to.
"And while I was busy, still eating out that gorgeous cunt, I felt somebody or something operating on my cock. With her hand. I figured it was the girl I was eating out. But I was too busy to try and see what was happening. And then, damned if I didn't feel another pair of legs straddling me. I reached down and felt what seemed like a great pair of legs on both sides of my body. But I still couldn't see what was going on.
"The body, whoever it was, lowered herself right down on my cock. She missed. The angle was wrong. So she raised herself again, reached down with her hand and grabbed my cock. She aimed it and this time she lowered herself right on target. I felt my cock slipping up into a beautiful warm snatch. All the way. It was tight and warm and wonderful. I had never felt anything like it.
"Then they both started moving. Wild. They were pulling the come out of me. But I was damned determined to make this great feeling last as long as I could.
"Tony told me later that he had sent the second girl over and had told her what to do. He also told me that while the bit was happening, the two girls were loving each other up like crazy. With my mouth glued to one of their pussies, and my prick stuck all the way up the other, they were leaning over toward each other and kissing and sucking tongues, squeezing nipples, licking. Man it was wild. I almost wish had been able to see it.
"But believe me, I was more than satisfied. I knew for damned sure that as long as I kept my mouth on that pussy above me, I wouldn't have any trouble keeping a hard. If fact, the only problem I was having was to keep from coming. And from the way they both were moving above me, it was damned hard.
"Finally, though, I couldn't control myself anymore. Both of the girls, I thought, had had at least one come. It sounded like it anyway. They made enough noise to have come a hundred times. So now it was my turn.
"I felt the pressure getting harder and harder in my balls. Suddenly, I wanted more than anything to shoot. Shoot a gallon. Two gallons.
"I don't know if you know it or not, but when you're high on grass, you orgasm is a hell of a lot more pleasurable than when you're not. At least it is for me.
"I started bucking my ass as best I could with all that weight on top of me and managed to stick my cock even farther up into the second girl's cunt. And I shoved my tongue as far up into the first as I could. Sucking like crazy.
"And then, man, the come came. Hey, that's good. The come came. And it seemed to last like a half hour. I can honestly tell you that I'd never had such a good feeling before in my life.
"The girls waited until I was calmed down and then the one sitting on my face lifted herself. She looked down at me and smiled. 'You've got a lot of talent, baby,' she said, which just about made me bust with pleasure.
"The second broad was still impaled on my cock, and, believe it or not, it was still hard. Almost ready for a second go. But I was sort of afraid to start anything. I was afraid that without a pussy to eat out, I couldn't make the scene with my cock. So, gently, I eased her off. She raised herself and I watched my cock slowly pull out of her. She groaned all the while she was getting loose.
"I moved over to the side of the room by myself and lit up another joint I'd brought along. It was fine with the management. In fact, you could cut the smoke, and the odor of pot, with a knife.
"I looked around me. There were a couple more people around now. Must have come in after I'd gotten there. More guys and more girls. And such fucking and groaning and positions you've never seen before. All I could think of was I sure would have liked to have a camera. I would have made a fortune off that film.
"I finished the joint and lit up a regular cigarette. I was feeling no pain, satisfied and sort of smug.
"Tony came over a few minutes later. He had just finished fucking a great-looking little Oriental chick. Real small bones and features. Not my type, but she stilled looked good.
" 'You want some more or not?' Tony asked. He plopped down next to me and lit up. As soon as he was down the Oriental gal came over and sat between us. And damned if she didn't start to suck us off. Alternating between us. Man, this was a whorehouse to end all whorehouses.
"I would have turned that little chick around and started to eat her out, but I didn't really go for the idea of working on some pussy that had been used. Turned me off. So I let her suck. And she was good at it.
" 'Anne invited us to dinner,' Tony reminded me. 'We could go over there.'
" 'Yeah,' I said sort of vaguely. 'I guess we could.' Actually I was more interested in what the little doll was doing to me. She'd left Tony out of the suck now. I guess he was through for the night. She was working on me all alone now. I looked down at that bobbing head and was really turned on. The feeling in my cock was great. And if I used a little imagination, I could turn that brunette hair into blonde hair and it'd be Bridgett who was on her knees between my legs, sucking me off like crazy.
"I shot off right in the Oriental chick's mouth and she swallowed it like it was eggnog. That made me feel good. Damn, I guess I was pretty good at sex. These girls sure acted like they enjoyed working on me anyway.
"We left right after that. The place was getting crowded and you never saw so many bobbing heads and asses in your life.
"I discovered that my first impression of Anne had been accurate. She was a great gal, gentle and sweet. And great looking. Which isn't a bad combination. She was also a little on the blonde side. When I left her apartment that night I decided I was genuinely and entirely in love for the first time in my life. And Anne was the subject matter.
"After I'd seen her maybe four or five times, we tried to make the scene. That's where I really ran into trouble. Anne didn't mind the straight fucking so much--in fact, she took to it like the well-known duck to the polluted water--but she didn't go much for the sucking and licking routine. Especially the part where I ate out her box and she sucked me off.
"An you guessed it, I had my problem back. And it was even more frustrating now, since I was really in love with Anne and wanted more than anything to have sex with her, to satisfy her while I was satisfying myself.
"But I couldn't get her to suck. And she wouldn't let me eat her out. She'd let me finger-fuck her and kiss her as much as I wanted--anywhere except her cunt. I was going up a wall, especially when I was having so much trouble keeping an erection.
"I went to my old buddy Tony with my problems. Again. He just shrugged his shoulders. 'I don't know what to tell you,' he said. 'Where in the hell did you get such a lousy hang-up anyway?'
"So I told him about Bridgett. That got him to thinking real hard.
"The next day we wrote a letter to the couple who'd hired Bridgett after she left my parents' house. Then I sat around mentally jacking off until I got an answer. A week later it came. And, damned the good luck, Bridgett had left them and moved to New York City to work. Right there in the same town where I was. Of course, that had been a long time ago, but they had included the address of the people Bridgett went to work for at the time, so I called. I got hold of them. Bridgett had long since left them, but they had the number of the--well, you know how it went. I ended up going through eight couples before I found out where Bridgett was working now.
"I talked to the woman of the house and explained to her that I had just come from a vacation in Norway and had a message for Bridgett from her dear old mother. The woman relayed the message to Bridgett who was too busy to come to the phone. And damned if Bridgett didn't invited me over. The next day.
"I was an cloud nine and excited as hell the whole rest of the day. I was going to see Bridgett. Hot damn. Finally, I might be able to get what I'd been after for years.
"The next day I cut my eleven-o'clock class and came home to change. I showered, shaved, and shit, so that by the time I walked out of my apartment I looked like a golden knight.
"I even took a cab to the address Bridgett had given me. And, believe me, she seemed to be doing all right. Fifth Avenue, between 71st and 72nd. Big penthouse. Well, why the hell not. Bridgett deserved the best.
"My cock was hard all the way up the elevator. And walking down the hall to the door of the apartment, I was so excited I thought I'd shoot off. Just like that: shoot off without even touching my cock.
"I rang the doorbell and this fat old lady answered the door. I immediately thought to myself that she sure didn't look like she was able to afford a big fancy apartment on Fifth Avenue.
" 'Good afternoon,' I said in my best military school, mannerly young-man tone of voice. 'I'm here to see Bridgett G.'
" 'I'm Bridgett,' the fat old lady said, and all I could do was stare at her. If this was my Bridgett, then things sure had changed. Her blonde hair was now a dirty, messed-up gray. Her big knockers now hung way down on her belly. And she must have weighed at least a hundred and eighty pounds.
"What I had forgotten in all this time was I hadn't seen her for years. Almost fourteen years, and believe me, they had been hard years for Bridgett. She was almost fifty years old now.
"It wasn't the most gracious thing I could do, but I stood in the hallway outside that apartment and started to laugh. I was damned near hysterical with laughing, and I couldn't stop. All Bridgett did was stare at me like I was nuts for a couple of seconds and then close the door in my face. She looked frightened. I guess she thought I was some sort of New York freak.
"I laughed all the way down the elevator, on the bus, and into my own apartment. Finally, I managed to stop when I picked up the phone to call Anne. That son-of-a-gun, best-looking girl in the world was home.
"I don't think Anne would mind my telling you that I went over there that afternoon and that we fucked all day. And believe it or not, I didn't even think about eating out any pussy."
* * *
In this case, we see the rather unusual instance of a subject's obsessive compulsion being instrumental, although perhaps somewhat indirectly, in a sudden and total cure of the same compulsion. Had the young man dismissed all thoughts of his one-time nanny, Bridgett, the chances are that he would have had to go through some extensive psychotherapy to eradicate the problem of his secondary impotence. Instead, it was his preoccupation with Bridgett, and her manner of lovemaking, that pushed him to seek her out again--successfully--and to discover that she was not the fanciful image he had been carrying with himself for fourteen years. This shocking recognition of reality, and of his distortion of it, snapped him out of his dilemma.
CHAPTER THREE - Camp
"Until Sara and I went to the camp on the lake, neither of us had had much sex with anybody. We had been to a lot of parties and all that--don't get the idea that we were socially isolated or anything--and both of us dated a lot, but there wasn't a hell of a lot of actual sex.
"The first time for me was when I was fifteen, about two years ago. And I guess Sara had her first time then, too. Both of us were dating guys on the football team at our high school and that was when it happened. I met this boy, Norm, who was eighteen at a school rally and he asked me to go to a movie with him. So I said okay. I didn't plan on sex exactly but I kind of figured it might happen somewhere along the way. And it did. He parked his dad's car near the reservoir, a place where it's dark and lonely and nobody drives past.
"We started kissing in the front seat and he put his hand on my breasts. Up to that point I was on familiar territory. Boys had squeezed my breasts since I was twelve, and one or two guys at parties had tried getting their hand on my thighs. But that was it. For one thing, my folks didn't let me date anybody and they checked out all of my party invites. I just couldn't go anywhere I wanted. Same with Sara.
"Meanwhile, though, I had been reading a lot about sex. I read the last section of Ulysses by James Joyce in which Molly Bloom describes how she was laid and sucked. I knew what was supposed to happen, but it scared me a little. I was only fifteen and the idea of getting my crotch sucked by a boy was, well, frightening. Not only that, but horrible sounding. I mean, why would a boy want to do anything so disgusting, I thought.
"I was curious about being laid, though. The Joyce book and a lot of other novels I could get in paperback and read privately were pretty frank in their descriptions. The language was wide-open and the picture of how girls felt when they had a boy's penis inside of them sounded pretty interesting. Sara and I used to talk about it a lot, and after a while we'd use words like 'pussy' and 'prick' pretty much like any other words. Why not? Everybody else did in books and we heard them in the schoolyard all the time. But we were both pretty shy about oral sex. We would talk about it a lot, but both of us were worried about what it might do to us psychologically.
"My mother had told me about a woman who let her husband kiss her between the legs and the woman had gone to an insane asylum. My mother liked to say things like that just to scare me.
"Anyway, that night with Norm, he asked me to sit in the back of the car and take off my panties. He took off his pants and he was wearing nothing underneath. He argued with me till I took my panties off and then made me put a leg over the front. I knew what he wanted to do because an older girl in school had told me it had happened to her. She had had sexual intercourse twice. She'd said it hurt the first time, but then the boy's prick felt very good in your box. That's what she called her vagina, her 'box.'
"So I was ready for Norm to put his prick in me. But then he lowered his head and kissed my pussy. Not too much, just like he was testing me, and I got panicky. First because of what my mother had told me, second because I was really afraid he'd hurt me down there with his teeth, and also because the whole idea sounded nauseating.
" 'Come on, Paula,' Norm said laughing. 'All I wanna do is lick your cunt a little. You'll love it.'
" 'I don't understand why you want to lick it,' I said. 'For one thing, I think it's a disgusting thing--to put your mouth there. I don't even see how it gives you any pleasure. And anyway, it can cause a woman all sorts of mental problems. Just do it the normal way, Norm, please.'
"I didn't mention my feeling that it was also disgusting for a man to mouth a girl's box be cause there were all kinds of germs there and it smelled funny. Once, when I smelled the crotchpiece of my panties when I was sorting out laundry, I felt sick.
"Anyway Norm gave up for good after a few minutes of trying to convince me that I'd like being sucked and having his tongue inside my pussy playing with my clitoris. I guess I accepted oral sex mentally because I'd read and heard about it, but I wasn't ready emotionally. I still felt like a little girl about it. It was just too remote from the petting and kissing I was used to. So Norm laid me the usual way. And it wasn't as painful as I'd expected it to be. I didn't bleed much, and the second time we did it I got more pleasure out of it.
"As for Sara, she was a lot shier than I was, and since her parents kept a tighter rein on her, she didn't have her first sexual intercourse till she went to visit her uncle in the country. She told me one of the farmhands had gone out with her one night and put his prick into her near some bushes about a mile from the house. It worried her a lot because she's kind of religious and she was really upset for several days.
"Sara was also upset because the farmboy tried to put his prick into her mouth. And this really got her worried. I mean she really was worried sick that sucking a boy's prick was about the worst sin you could do in your life. She had been told by people that anybody who did a thing like that would wind up in hell. I know it sounds absolutely unbelievable. But you gotta remember that Sara grew up in a very religious family. They read the Bible all the time aloud and she had to go through her catechism regularly. I got her away from that after a while, but she was always more frightened about oral sex than me. So she started crying when this boy tried to put the tip of his prick between her lips. I mean he tried to force her to suck him. He didn't just ask. After a while, though, he just put it into her pussy. Anyway, that was about the extent of our sex before we both went to camp.
"We both liked the place very much. It was a comfortable place with a lot of individual huts shared by two or more girls. There were recreational facilities and dances and movies at night. And there were a couple of other camps farther up the lake. Before long, Sara and I learned that evenings at our camp were kind of dull. Lights out were early, and the counselors, mostly older women, watched to see that the boys and girls did not play sex games. The thing to do was to go to one of the other camps to have some fun.
"Sara and I sneaked up to a camp two miles away the third night. All we wanted was a little excitement. We got more than we bargained for, and the dancing we hoped to do turned into the biggest sex party of our lives. That was the night we really learned about oral sex. Mainly it happened to us, I guess, because we were feeling bored and wanted something exciting to happen to us. I mean something more exciting than singing songs around a campfire and eating toasted marshmallows. But we did not expect to get drunk, laid, and sucked, I can tell you that. If I'd known they were going to fill us with champagne and then try oral sex on us, we'd never have gone near the place.
"We started drinking because we were very nervous. The people at the camp were much older than us and they were all drinking. We were given some glasses of wine by two men in their forties, their names were Mack and Dave, and then we were asked to dance. About an hour later, Mack took me by the hand and led me to a bedroom upstairs. We were in a big two-storied building made of huge logs. I was a little nervous at leaving the dancing below. But I had had three or four glasses of champagne and I was feeling dizzy, and, anyway, I kind of felt the adventure of the thing. So when Mack told me he wanted to give me the fifty-cent tour, I accepted.
"I guess I should have been warned by the fact that he had a hard on when he danced with me. I mean, I could feel it. But you have to remember I wasn't all that experienced. I knew boys got hard ons, but I didn't know that meant they had to stick it inside you right away.
"Anyway, after we visited several of the rooms upstairs, Mack and I went into one of the smaller bedrooms. He had taken along a bottle of wine, and we drank some more. I was a little worried about Sara, but he told me she was fine. He started to kiss me. I got a little scared when he started reaming the inside of my mouth with his tongue. Nobody had ever kissed me before like that. Maybe that should have told me what he really wanted, but I still had no idea. Only that having him suck the inside of my mouth like that felt very funny.
"Then he put me on the bed... just sat me there on the edge and got on his knees like he was about to make a proposal. I started to laugh at that. Mack was a tall, blond guy with husky shoulders, and he had a warm smile. He was smiling at me now as he started to part my thighs gently with his hand. At first I thought he was trying to tickle me.
" 'What are you trying to do, tickle me?' I asked. 'Because if you are, that's the wrong place for it.'
" 'I'm trying to go down on you, honey,' he said, smiling as warmly as he could.
" 'Go down on me?' I had never heard the phrase before.
" 'I want to eat your pussy, baby. Every inch of it.'
" 'But why?' I asked, giggling. 'It's just a pussy like every other girl's.'
"He explained that he had never tasted a teen-ager's box and was dying to do it now. He said most of the women he had sucked had been much older than me. Then he started telling me about the first time he had eaten a woman's pussy. He had been on a isolated beach with a friend of his mother's when he was about seventeen. The woman was about forty-two or-three, but still very beautiful, and she was wearing shorts with nothing on underneath.
"They were alone on the beach and he was reading a book when he looked up as she moved and he caught a flash of her black bush. He said she had the biggest bush he had ever seen on a girl. He suddenly had an overwhelming desire to taste it. He still doesn't know exactly why except that he had heard some men talk about how delicious 'fresh cunt' was. So he put his mouth between her legs as she read a newspaper, and he sucked her pussy. He expected her to scream or hit him or flee, but she just tightened her thighs around his head and groaned because it was the most exciting experience she had ever had.
" 'So will you, baby. Just open your legs so I can put my mouth on your lovely little pussy.'
"He spread my legs out in a playful way, pushing me back on the bed, and gently lowered my panties. I felt myself blushing as his eyes stared fixedly at my crotch. For one thing, I felt very self-conscious about it. Unlike Sara, who at seventeen had a big black bush between her thighs, my pussy fur was kind of sparse, and it was dirty blonde. It was darker than the hair on my head, but not dark enough, and I had always been ashamed of it. And of the dark skin near my slit.
" 'Why do you want to put your mouth on it?' I asked in a pouting tone. 'It's dirty. I wash it once a week, but it gets dirty fast. Why do you want to swallow all those germs?'
"Mack put his head back and laughed. 'Because I love the way your cunt tastes. Germs and all.' He lowered his head between my thighs, but I turned away so he couldn't reach my pussy. Then I frowned. 'Please don't. I'm really ashamed of the way it looks. And the way it smells.'
" 'I love the way it smells!' he yelled. 'I think it's the most beautiful smell in the world. A girl's cunt smells just like trees in a fresh rain. Haven't you ever walked through the woods right after it's rained? There's a rich, pungent, spicy smell. Well, that's what your box smells like to me.'
"Now that he put it that way, I was pleased by Mack's interest. He was a very handsome man and there was something flattering about having this man take such a deep interest in a sixteen-year-old girl. Without planning on it, I started playing a game with him. I guess it was childish, but I wanted him to compliment me about my box. I spread my legs wider to give him a better look at it. I didn't mind the way my thighs looked. They were long and plump, but they were not fat, and they had a nice healthy pink color. I had seen them too many times in the mirror at home not to know that. It was just that long ugly-looking slit I disliked, that's all.
"When Norm had wanted to kiss and suck on it, I had just been horrified and disgusted. But with Mack, I felt flattered. I guess the wine had something to do with it. I wanted him to do it to me, and yet I was a little afraid of him, and I couldn't entirely forget my mother's stories.
" 'Do you really like the way my pussy looks, Mack?' I asked playfully, opening my legs as wide as I could.
"He moved his face in very close and kissed my slit. 'I love the way it looks. Like a pink ribbon between your thighs. A lovely pink ribbon bordered by blonde fur.'
"Then he put his nose right up to the slit itself and sniffed in deeply. He sighed as if he smelled a beautiful flower.
" 'Delicious,' he said. 'Just smelling it has given me a hard on. Look.' He opened his fly and removed his prick. It was the biggest one I had ever seen in my life. I mean, it was long and thick, twice as big as Norm's.
" 'I got a great little game I want to play,' he said. 'First I eat your cunt. And then you eat Peter here. Okay?'
"I didn't say anything. I was too excited to talk, and the wine had made me a little woozy anyhow. I just waited for him to do whatever he wanted. He grabbed my legs in his sturdy hands and buried his head in my bush. Then his tongue began to play gently along the insides of my thighs. He took his time, stopping regularly to inhale the bouquet from my pussy. The more he sniffed at my box, the drunker he seemed to get. It was almost as if he hadn't drunk any champagne earlier.
"Now his tongue began to work into my pussy and he began to sound like he was out of his head. 'Oh, baby, I love the taste of your juicy hole. I love it. I adore the rich, teen-age smell, the lovely odor of a sixteen-year-old cunt. I can't get enough of it. I want to bury my nose and tongue all the way into your snatch.'
"When he wasn't talking, he was sending shivers down my spine. The fast, darting movements of his tongue in my pussy were so tantalizing I wanted to jump out of my skin. I had never had anything like it. For one thing I knew I couldn't hold still. I kept moving so fast, the poor man had to nail me down. I wanted to shout something. I didn't know what. I had never been so keyed up. I found myself pushing my pussy closer to his face, wanting the contact nearer and nearer. By that time he was incoherent. He would stop to say something, but all I got out of him was a kind of gargle sound.
"Once he stopped for breath and said, 'Oh, my God... I never realized how exquisitely delicious a young girl's cunt could taste!' By that time I wasn't able to concentrate too much on anything Mack said. His beautiful tongue was sending me into a spin. My pussy kept throbbing and throbbing as he kept licking it, and when the tip of his tongue touched my clitoris I started to scream. I don't know how long I was screaming. It must have been for some time because I began hearing Mack begging me to stop because they'd be worried downstairs.
"He lay beside me, panting for a minute, fighting to catch his breath. Then, as if he didn't want to waste another minute away from my pulsating box, he glued his lips to it again. 'Oooooh... aaaaahhhh,' he kept moaning every-time he stopped sucking.
"I can't stand much more of this!' I yelled to him as I tightened my thighs around his neck. My backside was up in the air as we moved around the bed. He didn't want to take his mouth away from my pussy and I wanted to remain glued to his face. So, as he licked my box, we moved around from one side of the bed to the other, a solid mass of flesh.
"Finally he must have lost control because he bit my pussy and I yelled in pain. I knew he didn't mean it, because he apologized so much. 'I'm sorry, baby,' he said. 'I got so hungry for that luscious cunt of yours that I guess I tried to swallow it literally. I haven't done that in years. It happens to me sometimes when I get carried away.'
"I forgave him and he put his mouth on my breasts for a change. They fit easily into his mouth.
" 'I'd better stay away from your cunt for a while,' he added. 'In this mood I'm liable to just go nuts and try to eat it all. Maybe we'd better do a little fucking for a change.'
"We took time out to have a little more champagne, which helped to renew the pleasant tingle I felt in my head. Then he put a pillow under my bottom and got between my thighs. He had a nice, warm, hard prick, and I enjoyed feeling it in me. But it just was not the same sensation. Don't get me wrong. I loved being laid by this man. He made Norm seem like an amateur by comparison. He moved his thing in and out beautifully, and he was able to do something to my clitoris that made me love it even more. And the way he held on to my buttocks as he pulled me close made it even cozier while he was buried inside me. Oh, I liked his prick in me all right. It was a lot of fun, but it just didn't ring any bells. It didn't make me want to scream, jump around the bed or out of the goddamned window like his lapping of my pussy did. That was something else. It may have been the combination of the lovely iced champagne, my own desire for adventure, and Mack's fantastic tongue. Whatever it was while he was sucking my box, I was in heaven... seventh heaven.
I didn't want it ever to stop.
"I don't know if you can understand that. It was like I was hooked on some drug. All the time he had his prick buried in my box, I kept thinking: Oh, if I could only have that marvelous nimble tongue in there instead. Even when I closed my eyes for a minute and imagined him doing it, I felt better.
"I guess he felt the same because after he came a few minutes later, he asked me if I minded if he went back to licking my pussy again. 'I just never had anything like that. Frankly, I'd rather eat your lovely little cunt than fuck anybody I know.'
" 'I don't mind,' I said laughing, 'but I should think it would get a little monotonous. I kept wondering how you could do it so long with your mouth and nose buried in my pussy. I don't know how you can breathe.'
"He laughed. 'Who wants to breathe all the time? Anyway, I assure you it's not boring. But if you think it is... well, I can show you some pretty exciting variations.'
" 'You mean there's more to it than that?'
"He put his forefinger on my clitoris and pressed it till I groaned with pleasure. 'That feels good, doesn't it?' I nodded. 'Well, did you ever think that it might be fun to have your little asshole sucked, too? To have my tippy tongue creeping into that. It would send you up to the ceiling. If you like, I can try that. That and some other nice games like it. I call them my "eating games" because they all involve sucking. Would you like to try them?'
"I turned to him a little worriedly. 'They won't hurt me, will they, Mack? I loved your sucking my pussy. I never wanted it to stop. But I'm afraid you'll bite me again. And if you bit me in the behind, I might not be able to sit down for a week.'
" 'I'll be very careful. Now turn around, Paula.' I did as he asked. 'Now raise your little ass up a few inches so I can suck it easier, baby. I love the look of those gorgeous cheeks. You have the ass of an angel. Look in that mirror and you can see for yourself. It'll also show you what I'm doing to you now.'
"I glanced at the mirror on the high dresser and did a double take. It reminded me of a painting, I swear. I was lying on my side with my ass raised a little in the air and he had his tongue playing over its round surface. Maybe I was a lot drunker than I thought, but my body did look beautiful then. For one thing, the mirror didn't emphasize my breasts, which I think are too small anyhow. But I do have a nice ass. The skin is very white and the cheeks are round and just big enough to look good. They go well with my long, plump thighs, and the way they were lighted now, my cheeks looked softer than a baby's. My mother, who still likes to soap me in the bath, has always told me that I still have a little-girl's behind, 'soft and very white and feeling like baby fat.'
"I was proud of how my ass looked in the mirror, the two soft round white halves with a nice flash of dark blonde pussy hair in between. And as I looked, Mack was moving his tongue between my cheeks. It felt so wonderful I almost passed out. The tip of his tongue was not in my asshole at that moment. It was just kind of toying with it. It would dart up to it, then away for several seconds in the most tantalizing way. It was as if Mack were trying to arouse a delicious expectation of a new sexual thrill by changing the timing of his arrival constantly.
"I found myself holding my breath as I waited for his magnificent tongue to come back and touch my asshole again. He wasn't kidding when he called it a game. That's what it was, I realized. I was lying there with my ass a few inches from his mouth. Every few seconds his tongue would leap out of his mouth, scour the outsides of my ass cheeks, then move down between them. I would brace myself for the final hit, the second when his tongue would reach my asshole and kiss it and play with it.
"He did this about a dozen times, until my heart was beating wildly. I was dying to feel his tongue inside my asshole! I couldn't bear to have those damned hit-and-run maneuvers any longer. Then, almost as if he read my thoughts, he zoomed in and really licked my asshole. His tongue just glommed on to it and stayed. And then it began to probe deeper and deeper. I could hear his breathing come through heavily as he was carried away by his own passion. And he was carrying me with him.
"I wish I could describe what it felt like to have his tongue in my asshole! Even now, just thinking about it, just reliving the feeling of that tip of warm, pulsing flesh digging into my behind, makes me so weak I feel faint. I want to shout, Oh, God! Oh Jesus! Oh! Oh! Oh! until I run out of breath. I think it was the sharpest, most fantastic sexual feeling I ever had. Mack told me afterwards that some girls go out of their mind when they get their assholes sucked, and I must be one of them, because I just went out of my goddamned mind, My ass kept jerking toward his mouth as if it were operated by springs and I was hitting the bed with my fists and crying and all the time I was thinking: My God... my God... I wonder if Sara knows anything about this. And then I realized I had forgotten all about Sara."
* * *
The problems of the young subject, Paula O., are similar in many ways to those of thousands of other young people in this country and others. The fearful, often ignorant warnings of well-meaning parents and the overanxious supervision combine to create a latent or even overt anxiety and self-distaste in the young child. Most certainly the subject is not comfortable with her body and the implications of approaching womanhood. Her repeated references to germs and her complaints of the "bad smell" of her genital area are not uncommon in a generation preoccupied with personal hygiene to a perhaps excessive degree. Constant exposure on television and in magazines to advertisements for deodorants and "feminine hygiene sprays" may set up an acute sensitivity and anxiety in some young minds. And over identification of the eliminative functions with the sexual organs can only serve to compound these anxieties.
The problem of parental fears being transferred to the child is of a somewhat different nature, particularly when these fears are based on lack of education or outright ignorance. Myths that masturbation causes cancer or warts, and that oral sex leads to insanity are well-known in psychological circles. There is ample evidence in the files of psychological and psychiatric research to show the lingering and destructive aftereffects of such uninformed rumor-mongering. Fears and anxieties of this origin--particularly with the authority of the loved parent behind it--may result in diverse aberrations or even in the fear of heterosexual intercourse itself. Dr. Irving Bieber says, in his paper "Sexual Deviations" in 'The Comprehensive Textbook of Psychiatry':
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A basic assumption is that dysfunction in heterosexual intercourse and orgasm indicates a neurotic disorder. Where fear of heterosexual gratification plays a significant role, the emergent sexual behavior is pathological. Fears of one sort or another determine varying degrees of frigidity in women or potency difficulties in men. Fears may determine dramatic behavioral inventions, circumventions, and shifts in sexual patterns, as may be noted in homosexuality, where sexual gratification is preserved but fear is avoided by a renunciation of heterosexuality.
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We may take particular note of the fact that, even with the older man, Mack, our subject is continually preoccupied with the way her vaginal area looks and smells. "My pussy fur was kind of sparse," she complains, "and it was dirty blonde. It was darker than the hair on my head, but not dark enough, and I had always been ashamed of it." There is no need to comment on the obvious recurrence of the word "dirty" in the sexual context. It is only when the older man, with somewhat poetic imagination, compares her smell to the "rich, pungent, spicy smell" of the forest that Paula begins to come to terms with some of the more pleasant possibilities of the situation.
It is interesting to note the reaction that a simple compliment can draw from an insecure young girl. Almost immediately with the calming of her anxieties she begins to move in the opposite direction, from an exaggerated defensiveness to a display of mild exhibitionism. " 'Do you like the way my pussy looks, Mack?' I asked playfully, opening my legs as wide as I could." Few would dispute the beneficial effects of a mature and competent lover on this girl's sensitive ego. The induction of exhibitionistic tendencies can be considered a somewhat startling reversal of her previous reticence. Dr. Benjamin Karpman, in his previously quoted Sexual Offender and His Offenses, has this to say about such tendencies:
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Exhibitionism is invariably a form of regression, a retreat from the demands of adult sexual life into phantasy and/or symptomatic acts connected with childhood. It is psychogenetically related to other forms of regression: sadism, masochism, fetishism, transvestism. Other mechanisms are apparent... Transference is at work as when an individual exposes himself before young girls who represent a transference from the original mother image. Exhibitionism as a compensation for sexual inferiority is not found in literature beyond statements of the Adlerian school.
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The inclinations of our subject toward oral-ism exhibit also residual leanings in the direction of analism. This case differentiates itself from others of its type in that the girl, while preferring oral-genital relations, does not refuse to participate in normal genital relations, nor does she show any particular aversion to the more usual method. Indeed, she seems prepared to "sample" a number of deviations including, as will be seen subsequently, voyeurism and group sex. While group sex is not particularly surprising to the student of human sexual behavior, the predominantly oral predilections of this group should not be lost sight of. The men and girls both are primarily concerned with the oral aspects of their group experience, both in a passive and active manner.
The evident pleasure of the subject, Paula, and her partner in their voyeuristic activities is of interest to the observer, particularly in the light of her previous exhibitionistic tendencies. Dr. Karpman comments, in the above-mentioned work, as follows on a relationship between these two deviations:
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With respect to Voyeurism, we have a situation comparable to that in the cases of Indecent Exposure. The voyeur does even less actual harm than the exhibitionist, for his activity is invariably carried out with secrecy. When his presence is detected by his victims, of course he subjects them to fright, for their first thought is that his intentions are predatory, which, however, they rarely are. The same thing applies to him as to the exhibitionist with respect to the futility of punishment. Like the exhibitionist, he is the victim of a compelling, irresistible urge and no amount of imprisonment is going to effect any change in his psychological condition.
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Here, of course, we are not dealing with voyeurism and exhibitionism in their more public and detrimental forms, but rather in their occurrence among people who know each other.
Nevertheless, many of the same impulses are at work here. The warped sense of values and the somewhat compulsive reactions of the subject leave much to be desired in her future progress.
* * *
"I turned to Mack and asked him about Sara. I was getting worried about her. I had left her downstairs an hour ago dancing with a lot of guys. I had always felt kind of motherly toward her because she was easily frightened and because her religious background made her more uptight than usual. I was worried now that she was down there getting drunker than hell and not able to stop. One of Sara's problems was that she had a bottomless stomach. She ate and drank too much and never knew when to stop even though it added on the pounds. I had to stop her now. The last night she had overdone the food and drink, she'd kept me awake all night and most of the morning with her groans.
"Mack laughed at my fears and told me I could see for myself that Sara was okay. She was next door and we could see her through the keyhole. I moved over to the connecting door between the two rooms and looked inside.
"Sara was there all right. But what surprised me was that she was still fully dressed. Somehow I had expected her to be naked like me. She was sitting on the bed next to David, who was also dressed, and they were drinking champagne out of a bottle. I put my head close to the door and listened.
" 'Let me see your pussy, baby,' David was saying.
" 'No' Sara said. 'I don't want to. Let's go back down. I want to find Paula. You said we'd be here just a few minutes.'
" 'We'll go down if you let me look at your pussy fur. I won't hurt you. All I want to do is look at it,' David pleaded.
"I felt kind of strange spying on my roommate, but I couldn't help myself. I was dying to see what she would do. I knew Sara was ashamed of a mole on her belly. Would she show it to him? As I peeked through the keyhole, I saw Sara slowly lift her dress above her waist as she sat on the bed and then, opening her thighs wider, moved the crotchpiece of her panties. She was giving David a quick look and that was all. But David had other ideas, it seemed. The moment she opened her thighs, he put his head between them and kissed them. She backed away from him as if he had put an acetylene torch to her crotch.
" 'Don't do that please,' she said in her childish voice. I could see that she was scared of being sucked. I felt like opening the door and stopping it, but David was already trying to win her over.
" 'Just let me run my tongue over the slit so I can taste your pussy,' he said in a gentle tone.
"Sara shook her head. 'No... I can't. It would be a terrible sin if I let you do anything like that. I'm sorry. But that was how I was brought up. And I have to go to confession. I'd have to tell the priest you kissed me in the pussy. That's sodomy and it's wrong.'
" 'What if you kept your eyes closed and never knew your pussy was going to be sucked?' David asked playfully. 'After all, you've had a lot to drink. Suppose you had just lain down on the bed for a nap. Now if a man comes up and runs his tongue along your pussy fur and over your little cunt--well, no one could blame you, could they? I mean you were asleep. Okay?'
"Sara thought it over a moment and then said very seriously, 'You'll just kiss me down there and that's all, right?'
" 'Right,' David said. 'Just shut your eyes. You don't know anything about this. Shut them and spread your legs wide.'
" 'Okay,' Sara said in a whining voice, 'but I'm not taking anything off. Not even my pants. Otherwise I'd be cooperating with you in sodomy.'
"She lay back on the bed with her skirt over her waist and closed her eyes firmly. From where I was, I had to admit Sara looked pretty sexy the way she was even with her clothes on. Sara was a big, robust girl. She played on the girls' hockey team and her thighs were big and broad. They looked like the thighs of a woman ten years older as she opened them, and her black, thick bush was barely hidden by the thin wisp of yellow fabric that made up her panties' crotchpiece. I had to admit she looked very desirable that way. I could imagine a guy going ape just staring at that barely screened pussy with those mountainous thighs. Norm had told me he got a stiff prick just watching me in my miniskirt, so I could imagine what Dave must have felt like then.
"He was feeling it, all right. He stared at Sara's spread open thighs, sighed, and then took out his prick. It was so big and swollen that I was astonished. He hadn't seemed so excited a moment ago. Now he undressed completely before the still closed eyes of Sara and knelt before the bed. He pushed his nose between her big white thighs and lapped the inner flanks of her bare flesh hungrily. I saw Sara shiver, but her eyes remained tightly closed.
"Now Dave began to nuzzle his nose against the crotch of her panties, obviously sniffing it hungrily the way Mack had done with my crotch. I almost felt like laughing. What on earth turned men on so much about the smell of a girl's pussy, I wondered. It must be something like catnip to them, I thought, because every few seconds Dave would take his nose away from Sara's crotch and come up for air. And when he did, he'd be breathing very fast and be wiping his forehead with his undershirt. I wondered if I would feel like that if I were to suck a man's prick. Would that turn me on sexually in the same way?
"My thoughts were distracted by something happening behind me. While I was peeking through the keyhole on my knees, Mack lay on the rug underneath my ass and started running his tongue over my bare cheeks. At intervals, he would spread the cheeks a little and dart his tongue at my asshole. I couldn't help giggling out loud, and then I caught myself. Poor Sara would die, she would just die if she knew someone was next door watching her pussy get sucked.
"I turned to Mack and whispered in annoyance that I wanted him to leave me alone. lie laughed and said he would, provided I went and ordered us some more champagne.
" 'You order it,' I said. 'Why do I have to?'
" 'Because I want you to. Just ask them to send up a bottle and put it on my bill. Go on. I have my reasons. Tell you later.'
"I went to the telephone and picked it up. After a moment the girl at the desk downstairs came on. I started to tell her what I needed when suddenly I felt Mack's tongue in my crotch. He was sucking madly on my pussy while I was trying to talk to the woman on the phone. I was so startled by what he was doing that I nearly dropped the receiver.
" 'What was that you asked for?' the woman downstairs asked. 'Will you kindly repeat it, miss.'
"I tried to speak, but Mack's tongue was operating so fast in my pussy that my voice nearly ran up to the ceiling.
"'What?' the woman asked annoyed. 'Look, what's going on up there? I can't make out a word you're saying.'
" 'Send me a bottle of champagne--' I began, and suddenly I went into a loud falsetto as Mack's tongue reached my clitoris. 'I want a bottle of champagne, and put ow... oooook... ohhh! AAAAAAHHHHHHH!' I found myself screaming into the phone. 'Look, send me a bot-teeellll of ow... Oh, my God! OHHHHH! OOOOHHHH... AAAHHHHHH!' I kept screaming, forgetting in the ecstasy of feeling Mack's tongue in my pussy that I was on the phone to a woman in the building.
" 'Are you all right, miss?' the woman asked in a worried voice. 'What's going on?'
" 'Nothing, ma'am... nothing... oh! Aaahhh--I'm just, er, having a kind of sneezing fit... It's an allergy. Let me call you back in a minute.' I hung up and started laughing as Mack continued to eat my pussy greedily. I realized now that he surprised me with another one of his little 'eating games.' He had nearly driven me out of my mind sucking on my pussy so I would scream into the phone to that woman, scream like a banshee. The woman must have thought I was insane.
"When I got back to the keyhole, I could see that nothing much had happened yet. Sara was still lying on her back with her thighs wide apart, and Dave was talking to her again.
" 'Let me take your panties off for a minute, baby,' he begged. 'That crotchpiece of yours is stretched so tight across your pussy I can't get it. It's as tight as a coat of armor. Let me just have a couple of minutes, honey. I'll give you a quick blow job. You'll love it.'
" 'No,' Sara said. 'I want to get out of here. I want to go home.' She started to get out of the bed, but Dave moved too fast for her. Diving down on the bed, he buried his head between her thighs and started ripping at the fabric stretched taut over her pussy with his fingers. She began to twist and turn to get her crotch away from his hands. 'I don't want to do that,' she whined in her little girl's voice. 'God didn't intend for men to make love to women that way. It's not right.'
"'You're crazy!' Dave yelled. 'People do it every day.'
" 'I never saw anyone who was nice do it,' she said stubbornly. 'Let me up! I gotta find Paula... "
"But Dave was not giving up that fast. He kept trying to rip her crotchpiece, and in desperation tried to tear it off with his teeth. At that, Sara got panicky and turned around completely to get her crotch away from his mouth. It was the dumbest move she ever made. Once she presented her backside to him, he was able to tear off her panties much more easily. The result was that in a few minutes, he had tom them off completely.
"Behind me, I could hear Mack laughing. I turned to see him standing on a chair and eyeing the whole scene over the transom. I could see why he was laughing. Sara was very funny as she dug her face and stomach into the mattress. She was blind to the fact that her ass was a perfect target for Dave. And what a target! Sara's a good-looking girl, and she has a substantial behind. Her big cheeks looked so pink against the white bedclothes. I heard Mack whistle with appreciation at the sight.
" 'Man, your girl friend sure has a juicy ass. I got a hard on just looking at it. Look at how nice that black pussy of hers looks between her cheeks.' I saw what he meant. Sara's big, dark bush could be seen just below her asshole very clearly. But I didn't get too long a look. It was a very inviting target, and Dave wasn't one to pass it up. He got on the bed and began to lick Sara's pussy from the rear. She started to shiver and move her ass away from him, but then he began to diddle her pussy from the rear, gently at first, moving his forefinger around the edges.
"For a moment Sara simply held on tight, trying to dig her head into the pillow like an ostrich. I suppose what she thought was that if she didn't do anything to help him, nothing would happen. She would be out of it. Well she was wrong. Oh, boy, was she wrong! After a few minutes of feeling Dave's tongue washing up and down the outside of her pussy, she began to react. Oh, sure, she was still a scared teen-ager and was trying to pretend she wasn't there, that she was back in her cosy bed at camp, I guess. But it's hard to do that when some man's lapping your asshole and your pussy with a hot, wet tongue. So she began to tremble and cry a little. That's when I got worried.
" 'Listen, Mack, I don't like this. Sara's as old as me, but she's just a kid. Maybe I'd better stop it.' I got up to knock on the door, but Mack caught my arm.
" 'Wait a minute. I know Dave. He'd never hurt anyone. He's just trying to work her up. Give him a few more minutes. If she doesn't come around by then I'll call them on the phone and tell them you're waiting for her downstairs. She's all right.'
" 'No, Mack,' I protested. 'She's scared as hell.'
" 'No she ain't. Look at her now, damn it. She's enjoying getting her cunt sucked. Just like you did.'
"He was right. As I looked through the keyhole, I saw Sara bobbing her ass up and down to meet Dave's mouth. And not just bobbing up and down. Her ass was doing the weirdest gyrations you ever saw. That man's tongue had got her so aroused that she couldn't hold still. And when he came up for air, I could see that Sara's pussy was getting frothy. A kind of milky white fluid covered the dark hair. Apparently Dave's furious sucking had made her juices flow and they were moving over her pussy and down the inner surfaces of her thighs. And the girl wasn't crying anymore. She was laughing--I guess giggling would be the right word really. She kept giving him little giggles every time he diddled her pussy with a finger and then pecked at it with his tongue. And now I could see that Dave had his own little 'eating games.' After a while he got off the bed and went over to a box of chocolate-covered candies he had on the dresser. I heard him offer Sara some of them. But she was still in her giggling schoolgirl mood, I guess, because she refused to lift her face from the pillow. I heard her say something I couldn't make out. Then I saw Dave take the box over to her ass and put it right on it while he ate some.
"I guess Sara thought it was funny--his using her ass for a table while he continued to munch candies, because she began to giggle more than ever and her ass shimmered like a plate of jelly; her big pink mounds kept moving so much they finally tossed over the candy box. I heard him offer them again to her and when she shook her head once more, he really got playful. He put a chocolate candy in her pussy and then ate it from there. It was so fantastic I could hardly believe it. There he was taking those chocolates and inserting them one by one in her slit while she dug her face in the pillow. Then he'd bend over till his face nuzzled her ass, and he would retrieve them from her pussy and eat them.
" 'They taste good, Sara,' I heard him say to her. 'You really out to try it. Nothing like a chocolate candy marinated in Sara's pussy. Bet I could sell these for three dollars a pound in the market.' Then he'd insert another one in her pussy and do the same thing. It was so funny, I burst out laughing and so did Mack. I realized that Dave must be drunk as hell to do it, but the thing was still very funny. But then, I guess Sara really got worried. She thought he was going berserk or something and tried to get up. As soon as she turned around, he grabbed her thighs, buried his, face in her bush, and just nailed her down to the bed.
"Well, he was drunk all right, but he was full of beans, too, and he kept sucking Sara's pussy without coming up for air. I never saw anything like it. I mean that man was just nuzzling her bush for what looked like ten minutes without stopping, and by the time he was through he had Sara going crazy. First she tried to fight him off, pushing his mouth away with her hands, rolling out from under him on the bed. But he wouldn't let go.
"Now Sara's a big girl and there's a lot of her to grab hold of. Everytime she rolled out from under him, David would grab her ass, pull it closer to him, and just start licking her pussy from behind. Then, if she pulled away again, he'd roll her over and wedge his face between her thighs, fastening on her slit like he was never going to let go.
"Well, after about fifteen minutes of that, the poor girl got tired. Finally she was so tired of jumping around that she lay still, panting at the ceiling, and that's when he got her good. I saw her just lie there, his mouth on her bush. I was wondering whether to call the thing off finally. Then I saw her face. She was definitely enjoying it now.
"For several minutes, she just lay there while his tongue kept licking her, and then she began to groan out loud. And these weren't groans of pain, they were groans of passion. He had her so excited now that she couldn't lay still. Then he did something that was new to me. He was sucking away at her slit when all of a sudden he lifted his whole body and swung it over so that his crotch was over her face. I saw his prick dangle over Sara's mouth and I thought she'd scream bloody murder or something.
"I mean she used to practically vomit at the idea of getting her pussy licked, and the thought of licking a man's prick was so impossible she wouldn't dream of it. But something strange was happening to her now. In the wildness of her passion, as she had her pussy eaten, she wasn't thinking about anything. She was just doing... doing whatever felt natural to her. And I guess it just felt natural to eat him like he was eating her. I saw her lips open and swallow the head of his prick. I swear, I don't know how she ever got it so far in. It almost looked from where I was watching as if she had just swallowed his whole peter because I couldn't see it for a minute. Then they both went at it at the same time.
"While Dave's tongue moved in and out of her pussy and up along the inner sides of her big white thighs, she'd lick his prick and then move on to his balls. Sometimes it was hard to see his face because it would disappear into Sara's big black bush. And I couldn't always see hers. But when I did see their faces, they were so lit up and happy I got jealous. Sara's eyes were shining with the kind of pleasure I hadn't seen in them in months. All of her customary gloominess was gone and she looked positively happy. And Dave did, too. He looked as if somebody had just told him' he'd won the Irish Sweepstakes. They were having so much fun sucking each other that I suddenly felt a strong itch to do it myself.
"I guess Mack must have felt the same way because he pulled me away from the keyhole and lay me flat on the rug. Then he climbed over me, putting his prick and balls over my face while he buried his face in my bush. But before he did it, he looked at me to see if I objected. I nodded and smiled at him, and then we went at it together.
"The feeling I got as I sucked his prick was that I had something growing in my mouth. It felt very small and a little loose and soft when he first put it in. But after my tongue worked on it for a while, a strange thing happened. His prick continued to feel bigger and bigger until finally I half expected it to explode through the side of my jaw. And the thing that surprised me was how much I loved it. I had always thought I'd hate having a man's peter in my mouth. I thought of it as dirty... just like my pussy.
"But from the beginning! liked his prick in my mouth. I loved feeling the smoothness of his skin on my lips and tongue and I loved the way the darn thing kept growing and growing in my mouth as large as life. It was like I had a lovely little animal in my mouth, something I could make jump or get bigger and harder just manipulating it with my tongue.
"After a while it began to heave like mad in my mouth and I knew he must be getting very close to coming. I was getting close, too... my pussy felt like it was on fire as his tongue kept probing it. But I wasn't used to it I guess. And maybe because Mack had come before, he was a little harder to get off now. Anyway, after a while my jaws began to ache from the job of just surrounding his big prick and I had to stop and rest.
"When I looked up, I saw Dave and Sara standing over us, naked and holding a fresh bottle of champagne. Sara was giggling like mad and pointing to me.
" 'You're a copycat,' she said in her sly way. 'That's just what we've been doing. Dave says it's called a sixty-nine, because that's what it looks like when your head's between his legs and his head's between yours. Anyway,' she went on in her blurry, drunken voice, 'Whatever the reason is, I just love it... love sixty-nine better than anything in the world.
" 'Know why, Paula? Because it's like perpetual motion... I mean perpetual sucking... Oh, I don't know what I mean except that it's absolutely wonderful. Here's to sixty-nine!' She raised her glass in a toast. Dave laughed. I saw Mack looking hungrily at my girl friend's big black bush.
" 'If you like sixty-nine,' he said, smiling, 'think how much more fun a hundred and thirty-eight would be.'
"Sara's eyes boggled, and her boobs, which are pretty big, bobbed up and down as she laughed. 'What on earth is a hundred and thirty-eight?'
" 'Four people doing sixty-nine together,' Dave answered. 'Would you like to try it?'
"Sara looked at me and laughed. 'If she does, I will.'
"I felt a little funny doing it with four people. It had taken me this long just to do it with two. But I had had a lot of wine and I'm very -curious about new techniques in anything.
"So, after taking another glass of champagne, I got on the bed with the three of them and did what Mack told me was really called a daisy chain. The first impression I got was there were too many arms and legs in the way. I felt like I was always getting blocked by one or the other. But then they got sorted out and it was a brand new experience--one I'll never forget.
"The first thing that happened was that I lay back on the pillow and took Mack's prick in my mouth. Then I felt Dave's mouth glue itself to my pussy and he started sucking me there. Sara in her turn was sucking Dave's prick and getting her slit sucked by Mack.
"For several minutes we kept sucking each other that way. I'd move to Mack's balls and come back to his prick and he'd play with my pussy and move on to my thighs, and the thing I really dug about it was that you could rest every once in a while and nobody minded too much because everybody was so busy. You were either getting sucked or sucking. It was lovely.
"When we all finally came close to coming, you could tell, because we kept doing it faster and faster and fighting harder and harder for breath--which wasn't easy with a big prick in your mouth--and then suddenly we all came about the same time. It was like fireworks going off. My pussy kept throbbing long after I came, and my heart beat so wildly I thought it would burst. It had been the wildest time of my life.
"I hated leaving that bed to get back to camp, and so did Sara. Neither of us talked very much on the way back. I mean the whole evening had been kind of fantastic, dreamlike for us both. But later on, as we both lay in our cots, staring up at the ceiling, Sara said something that spoke for me, too.
" 'You know how I feel? I feel like I've grown up in one night. Maybe it's crazy... but I just don't feel like a kid anymore.' "
* * *
In the preceding segment of the narrative, there is a strong indication that the participation of her friend in the voyeuristic activities as the object, and in the orgiastic activities as an active partner, did much to reinforce Paula's confidence. Her continuing references to the sexual backwardness of her girl friend lend further insight to the obvious deep-seated insecurities of the subject. There is little doubt that Paula's oralistic bent can be put in the proper perspective through psychotherapy; however, it is imminent that she undergo such psychotherapy immediately.
CHAPTER FOUR - Getting Ahead
"I was a virgin until I was eighteen. And when I say virgin, I mean I never even got inside a girl's bra, much less her pants. My acne made me kind of shy, so I never dated in high school. Things stayed pretty much the same, with rare exception, even when I joined the service. I'd go to the local bar with some of the fellas, get plastered on a few beers, but no broads ever came my way. Some of the swingers used to fix me up occasionally with a local girl, but I just never made out. I always felt my acne repulsed chicks and I never pushed for a romantic encounter.
"I had been rejected so many times in school that I simply gave up on ever making out. I was always considered a lone wolf, but what they didn't know was that I resigned myself to being one of those guys broads didn't go for. I had been hurt too many times to keep trying to pick up a girl. I mean, how many times does a guy have to be turned down before he gets the message? I used to feel sorry for myself, but not anymore, because I found out that it really doesn't matter what you look like, if you can project confidence in yourself. That's what spending several weeks with Cathy did for me.
"I met her while I was hitchhiking into town for a night at the only bar. I was stationed in a small burg with a civilian population of about three hundred. Most of the servicemen were pretty well behaved, so the townspeople treated us pretty good. In fact, a lot of us fellas who couldn't get home for the holidays were invited to spend Thanksgiving dinner and Christmas dinner with families in the area.
"That's how I met Cathy, or that's how we became sex partners. She was sixteen years old and had her old man's car for the evening. Cars were passing me up left and right on that dirt road when suddenly this old clunker stops for me. It was dark out there and I didn't know it was a girl behind the wheel until I opened the door and got in. She smiled very courteously and said, 'Hi! Can I give you a ride into town?'
"I was kind of surprised that such a young girl would stop at that time of night. She wasn't very good-looking; had a real big nose and slightly bucktoothed. Her hair looked like she cut it herself with a pair of pinking shears. It hung in straggly locks down to her shoulders. But she bubbled and sparkled like she wasn't even aware of her looks. We talked about stupid things for the ten minutes it took to get into town and on the main drag that led to the bar.
"She was very outgoing. If you didn't look at her face you'd think she was the school queen, just by the way she acted. I thanked her for the ride, and before I got the door open she asked me for my name. I told her it was Allen, and then she asked me if I hitchhiked into town often. I told her about three times a week. 'Well,' she said, 'if I see you out there again, you've got a ride.'
"And sure enough, two days later while I was hitching into town she stopped for me again. This time she drove much slower, like she wasn't in any hurry to get into town. 'Thanksgiving's coming up in a few days,' she said, 'and I was wondering... If you don't have any place to go, I could talk the folks into inviting you over. Why don't you give me the phone number at your barracks and I'll get back to you tomorrow.'
"I was so flustered by this, I could hardly find the phone number in my wallet. This was the first girl who really showed any desire to be with me and I was really excited. She took out a pad and pencil from her purse and copied the number down, thanked me, and said she'd call about eight the following night.
"I was so elated I bought a round of beers for all the guys I knew at the bar. All kind of thoughts were running through my head. Was she too young for me to be getting mixed up with? Did she just want to have a guy to talk to or was she serious about having some kind of romantic relationship?
"Boy, I was sure flying high that night! She wasn't very good-looking, but then neither was I. I couldn't stop my thoughts from inventing all kinds of fantasies of our necking together in some motel. Then I remembered her age--sixteen! Shit. She was probably just hard up for male companionship because she couldn't get a guy, like I couldn't get a girl--because of my looks. That kind of dampened things.
"The next night she called. Her voice was like music over the phone. 'I just talked to Daddy and Mom, and they said it would be great to have you over for Thanksgiving. In fact, Daddy asked me to tell you that if there are any other men on the base who don't have a place to go, you could bring them over. But I told him I just wanted to have you. Was that okay, Allen?'
"She made me feel like a million dollars. I could hardly get to sleep that night. I kept tossing and turning, wondering what she looked like in a nice dress, in full light. I was hoping she'd have big tits to make up for her homely face. Then I figured, what the hell--she's a girl who wants to be with me. So what if she has small tits? She's probably too naive to let me play with her anyway. Christ, what does a sixteen-year-old know about sex anyway?
"She picked me up at the base gate at five o'clock. This time she was driving a brand new Cadillac. I stared at her to make sure it was the right girl. 'Whose car is this?' I inquired.
" 'It's Daddy's. He bought that old clunker for me to drive around in so I don't smash this one up. But tonight's special, so he let me take the Cad,' she rattled.
"When we arrived at her house, I couldn't believe my eyes. It was a real mansion. This homely girl and the mansion just didn't fit. You always think of rich girls as being beautiful. It never dawns on you that money doesn't make kids look any different from other kids who don't have money.
"Her folks were real gracious, treating me like some nephew of theirs. I felt so uncomfortable with all their expensive furniture and thick rugs. Uncomfortable isn't the word for it, I was downright stiff. I guess the old man noticed this and tried to make me feel at home by laughing a lot and slapping me on the shoulder whenever he was near. Cathy smiled all through the evening, giggling and joking. The more I looked at her the less I noticed her homeliness. She was so vivacious and warm I couldn't help liking her. She just didn't act like a teen-ager; she was mature and sure of herself. I figured that's what money could do for you.
"After dinner we sat around and talked about my family and the usual dumb things. Then the old man suggest that Cathy take the Cad and show me the town. They sure were nice people. So Cathy and I got into the Cad and she drove around, pointing out the various spots. As she drove, the street lights became fewer and fewer, making the road and the surrounding countryside darker. All of a sudden there were no streetlights at all ahead, just country road. She pulled over onto the dirt shoulder and parked.
"She put her arm on top of the seat back and stared at me. I looked into her eyes, glistening from the moonlight, and felt a funny sensation in my stomach. She moved over to me, still looking deep into my eyes, and licked her lips. Very slowly, Cathy tilted her head and kissed me lightly. Little sparks flew down to my prick and made it warm. When she broke the kiss I was motionless, almost hypnotized by the fantastic feeling her lips gave me right down to my gut.
"She leaned in again and kissed me harder. My arm went around her slim waist and pulled her tight to me. My whole body began to respond like it never had before. She wasn't homely anymore; she was a girl whose kisses were making me hot as hell. I began kissing her on the cheek and neck and she let out little moans of pleasure. This got me hotter.
" 'Let's get in the back seat,' she said. 'It's more comfortable there.'
"We climbed over the front seat and fell into an embrace. My whole body was tingling with excitement. This was the first time I had been this intimate with a girl and my passion was soaring. The moon was full and shone into the car, lighting up her body. She pulled her dress high, up to her hips. I looked at those thighs and fell to my knees to take them into my hands. As I cradled her fleshy thighs in my arms, burying my head in the soft flesh, my stiff prick rubbed against her leg. My hands caressed those beautiful white thighs as my prick pressed hard against her. All of a sudden I felt a swirling of heat which started in the depths of my groin, growing with intensity as it neared my prick.
"I shot my load right then. As I grasped her lovely thighs hard in my hands and grunted, she petted my head. After I had stopped moaning, and shot my last, she whispered, 'Have you ever made out with a girl before?'
"I shot back, 'Of course!' I was ashamed to admit the truth, especially knowing that I was two years older than she.
"She drove me back to the base to change pants. When I returned to the gate she was reapplying lipstick and powder to her pale face. She then drove back to her house and parked the car in the garage. We went inside and had coffee and pastry with the folks. Afterwards she drove me back to the base. I was quiet most of the way, ashamed at my premature coming, and feeling inadequate with a girl younger than me.
" 'I'd like you to take me to a movie this Saturday, Allen,' she said, holding my hand. 'I want to be with you again.'
"I looked straight ahead. 'Are you sure?' I said in a self-pitying voice.
" 'Very sure,' she answered, squeezing my hand.
" 'You mean you don't care about what happened tonight?' I ventured again.
"We were at the entrance to the base. The car stopped at the side of the road.
"She moved over to me, placing her hand on my thigh. 'I'm very pleased at what happened tonight. At least I know I'm sexually attracted to you. The fact that you came so fast doesn't matter. I felt flattered that my legs excite you so much. But next time we're in the back seat I have something planned that I think will please you very much.'
"We kissed one long kiss, embracing like lost lovers, and then I took off for my barracks.
"The following Saturday she picked me up in her old car and we went to a horror movie. All through the thing she gripped my hands and arms in fright. When it was all over we walked back to the car, babbling all the way about how scary the thing was. She drove out that lonely road again and parked. I moved toward her and she threw her arms around my neck, kissing me hard and passionately. My hands were all over her, feeling her small but full tits, rubbing her waist and hips. She pressed her lovely body to me, giving me all of her to take and pet. My prick was hard as a rock, throbbing like mad.
"I was braver this night, and suggested that we get in the back seat now. I began unbuttoning her blouse as she unzipped my fly. Her breasts were pretty and hard, just big enough to fill my hands. I sucked on her lips as I squeezed the hell out of those nice tits. She was moaning and playing with my prick.
"Then all of a sudden she just dropped to the floor, as if in a dead faint. But she had a firm grasp on my dick. The next thing I knew, her hot wet mouth was surrounding my prick, sucking and licking it wildly. I lay back and groaned. Oh, God, was she good. My whole insides were churning. She moaned and sucked, twisting her head and flashing her tongue around my hot prick. She licked it hard, starting from the bottom and pressing that hot little tongue upwards, until it touched the head of my prick. Then she sucked it into her mouth, taking it in right to the hilt.
"I was moaning up a storm, wriggling all over that seat. Then, as if she had touched my insides with fire, I shot my load like I never shot before. Her sweet hot mouth never left my prick. She took it all, every drop of come that spurted.
"I lay on the seat, panting breathlessly, fully and totally satisfied. She had suddenly become beautiful in my eyes. A sexy, wanton, and beautiful creature. She crawled up on my body and planted a kiss, a wet loving kiss on my lips.
" 'Now you do me, honey,' she whispered.
"I got down on the floor of the car as she slouched in the seat, spreading her legs wide. I nuzzled into her hairy pussy area, not quite sure what to do. She guided me and instructed me. I found myself loving the wetness and warmth of her cunt. The first cunt I had ever touched or sucked on.
"She taught me in that one evening the art of sucking a girl's cunt. I nibbled on that little hard sex button of hers as she wiggled her little ass all over the place. She was loving everything I did and it made me feel like a real man.
" 'Suck harder,' she moaned. 'Suck it good, honey. That's right. Oh, God, that's good. Oh, shit, you suck good, baby. Oh, yes, honey, suck me hard... suck me... suck me... oh-h-h I'm coming! Oh, baby, I'm coming! Don't stop, don't stop!' Her body went rigid. My hands were cupped under her soft ass, which felt so good. Then she groaned loudly and jerked her hips back and forth as her orgasm tore through her little sexy body. She lay panting silently, as I had a few moments before.
"And that was my initiation into real sex. It took a teen-age girl to finally make it happen. Being eighteen, I figured that my first experience would probably be with some barfly or older whore."
The early, pervasive sense of inadequacy of the young man, Allen D., his preoccupation with the "disfiguring" acne, and his consequent low opinion of himself had already laid a firm foundation for the development of sexual or psychological problems. The self-disparaging tone of his assertion that he was a virgin until past the age of eighteen shows that even at the time of the interview he had not come to terms with his early bad opinion of himself. And, indeed, his recollection of the first meetings with the young girl, Cathy would lead us to believe that he was not mature or self-confident enough to handle the situation in an ego-building manner. It is clear that most of the preliminary initiatives were in the hands of his new partner, and the young man was, for the most part, nothing but a willing follower. His purported concern with the "morality" of the new situation, whether or not the girl was too young to be getting mixed up with, the possibilities of her serious or non-serious intentions, may quite possibly be nothing more than an elaborate rationalization of his own fears of inadequacy. The compulsive reiteration of their mutual lack of good looks and the immaturity of her years might seem to suggest that he was looking for a way out of the coming relationship before it had even started.
The young man's concern with status symbols such as the Cadillac and the house--"mansion" as he refers to it--is in line with the ego-building requirements of his personality. The observer may be forgiven for wondering whether or not these status symbols may have been decisive arguments in the young man's decision to begin a relationship with the girl. There is no question, as the subject admits himself, that while the interest of the young girl had its effect on shoring up his deflated ego, there were aspects of her evident financial position and her exuberant confidence that raised up old anxieties. His comment after his first experience that "I was quiet most of the way, ashamed at my premature coming, and feeling inadequate with a girl younger than me" speaks volumes about the depths of self-doubt that this young man must have suffered.
The evident neurotic basis of Allen's concern with sexual performance, his shame at premature ejaculation, perhaps as a reflection on his potency as a male, are not unusual reactions in a person of his background and personality profile. The observations of Dr. Irving Bieber, in his previously cited paper "Sexual Deviations," may be relevant here:
---
Sexually, the male is expected to be potent and orgiastic, with frequency of intercourse determined by mood, mutual agreement, circumstances, and needs. The female is expected to be responsive and orgiastic and to feel free to initiate sexual activity as does the male. Sexuality should be enthusiastically enjoyed, and each should be capable of having frank discussions about sexual matters.
---
Dr. Bieber also notes:
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If sexuality becomes a way primarily of relieving anxiety and tension or as escape phenomena either from work or other anxiety-laden situations, or where sex becomes an opportunistic maneuver to gain affection or approval, or where sex becomes a way of dominating one's partner, such behaviors must be construed as neurotically inspired.
---
Fortunately for the young man, his partner was possessed of a sympathetic manner and a self-confidence which allowed her to approach his problems with a degree of maturity. Unencumbered by self-defeating feelings of inferiority, she was able to instill a modicum of self-confidence in Allen that allowed him, somewhat to his own surprise, to undertake the initiative on several occasions. Cathy's action in initiating fellatio on him seems, in the young man's mind, to have been something of a turning point in their relationship, and, one suspects, in his evaluation of himself. "She had suddenly become beautiful in my eyes," he comments, and it is quite possible that, in his own eyes, some of this beauty had begun to rub off on himself.
The subsequent group activities with the two teen-age girls had, one suspects, an unforeseen result in that Cathy began to find herself attracted in a romantic as well as a physical way to the young soldier. This is not an unusual consequence of passionate sexual involvement as the famous researcher Albert Ellis notes in The Annals of the American Academy of Political and Social Science:
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The fact that one can truly love several members of the other sex simultaneously is blithely ignored by most of those who violently oppose promiscuity. So is the fact that just as love leads to sex, sex frequently leads to love. Sparked however by the experiences and the values of the hippies of the last few years, who have emphasized group love as well as group sex participations, a new concept of what might be called promiscuous love is beginning to arise.
---
Regardless of the inability of this new relationship with Cathy to endure, there can be little doubt of the value of the entire relationship to the newly emerging self-image and self-confidence of the subject. He apparently has no hesitation in forming separate sexual alliances with both Cathy and her friend, Georgette. The increase in self-confidence, unfortunately, has not necessarily been followed by a concomitant increase in maturity, as his excessive preoccupation with oral ism would indicate. At the end of the interview he is still a "virgin" in the accepted genital sense, and not only is he content with the situation, he seems quite pleased with it.
The strong influence of the girl Cathy on the young man's sexual development is reflected in his apparent willingness to avoid genital relations with her. The observations of John H. Gagnon and William Simon, in their paper "Sexual Deviance in Contemporary America," may shed some light on this:
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The evidence is that there are still fairly strong norms against premarital coitus and that these norms continue to be much stronger for females than for males. There is also evidence that males continue to make distinctions between girls with whom one has intercourse under conditions of no affection and girls with whom one has intercourse only before marriage when in love. Ehrmann suggests that males who are in love with a female are less likely to desire coitus with her than males who are not in love with a female.
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The observer can only wonder what these sexual confrontations, with their emphasis on oral gratification, will mean for the future ability of the subject to give and receive love in a more complete and satisfying manner.
* * *
"A few days passed and I called Cathy to make arrangements for another date. She was her usual cheery self as she answered the phone. I asked her out for the following weekend and she said, 'Oh, we don't have to go out, Allen. Mom and Dad are leaving town for the weekend... sort of a business and pleasure trip. They'll be gone for three days. You know what that means? You can sleep here, and nobody will know.'
" 'Are you kidding?' I almost screamed. 'That's pretty risky, isn't it?'
" 'Hell no,' she laughed. 'I've done it before. And if you don't mind, I'd like to share you with a girl friend of mine. I think you'll like her--she's got real big knockers.'
"I was stunned.
" 'Pick you up in half an hour, honey,' she said, and hung up.
"I gathered my shaving gear and other overnight gear into a bag and walked to the gate to wait for Cathy. I recognized her old clunker as it came closer, pulling to a stop right alongside me. At the wheel was Cathy, in the back seat was a blonde chick who looked Cathy's age. As I got into the seat next to her, Cathy said, 'Hi, Allen. I'd like you to meet my girl friend, Georgette.' Georgette smiled and said hi. She Had big tits, all right, and she wasn't trying to hide them either. Her dress was tight as a glove, and those knockers were poking straight out. She wasn't much better looking than Cathy, and a bit on the plump side.
"We joked and laughed on the way to the house. About a block before we arrived there, Cathy said, 'Slide down so you can't be seen. Wait till I pull into the garage and get the door closed. This way the neighbors won't know you're with us.'
"I crouched down beneath the seat, and a few minutes later Cathy said, 'Okay, honey, it's safe now.'
"We left the car and entered the house through a door which led into the kitchen from the garage. All the blinds were pulled and the drapes were drawn.
"Cathy went to the bar and set a bottle of gin on the counter. 'What do you like with your gin?' she asked, smiling happily. Man, this was neat. A whole mansion to ourselves.
" 'Seven-Up,' I replied.
"She poured three drinks and gave one to each of us. 'Drink them fast,' Cathy said. 'I don't like to fart around too long.' Leading the group, she downed hers in just a few minutes while we chatted and told jokes. She poured another drink for all of us, this time a real strong one. About halfway through it, we were all giggling, half stoned on empty stomachs.
" 'Hey, Georgette,' Cathy giggled in a loud voice, 'why don't you show Allen your big tits.'
"Georgette stood up and slurred, 'Would you like to see my big tits?'
"She walked to within a foot of me and reached back to unhook the top of her dress. She almost lost her balance for a moment as she proceeded to unzip it down to her hips. She pulled the open dress forward, slipping her arms from the short sleeves. Directly in front of me were two large breasts, resting in a low-cut bra. Their mounds puffed over the front edges of the material. She reached back and unhooked the bra. My prick was growing hard, pushing against my pants. As she removed her bra, those two giant tits fell forward, jiggling from their enormous size. Unconsciously, I squeezed my cock. Cathy, who was in the chair next to me, said, 'No fair playing with yourself!'
"Georgette leaned forward, resting her hands on the arms of my chair, and let those big white tits sway just inches from my face 'Aren't those nice big tits?' she said, half drunk.
" 'Those are big tits, all right,' I said, panting with mounting passion. I reached up and took both tits in my hands. God, they felt so sexy I couldn't believe the sensations that were swirling through my body. I squeezed them hard and Georgette swayed her body, moaning. "MM-mm... I like that,' she whispered. The more I squeezed her tits the hotter I got. I had forgotten completely about Cathy. Those huge mounds of flesh were all my eyes and mind could perceive. I had never before felt such enormous tits.
"I took one of her big nipples into my mouth. She squealed and pushed her tit into my face. My cock was so stiff it was standing straight up. As I sucked hungrily on her big nipple, I felt hands unzipping my pants. Cathy was frantically pulling my pants off. She removed my shoes next.
"Cathy said, 'Everybody on the floor.' I let go of Georgette's tits and let her remove the rest of her clothes. I lay on my back as Cathy crawled up between my legs and grabbed my dick. 'Oh, you've got a good prick,' she said.
" 'I get to suck it, too,' Georgette said.
" 'You can suck it right now, because Allen's going to suck me... suck my pussy.'
"Cathy straddled my head and lowered her hairy cunt to my mouth. Just then I felt my prick being engulfed in Georgette's hot wet mouth. I licked and sucked her pussy lips as Cathy groaned and encouraged me with her pleadings. 'Oh, that's good, baby. Suck me good. Suck me good. Oh, Christ, that's too good.'
"Georgette was licking my dick all over. This was wild! I tried to concentrate on Cathy's sex button, sucking it into my mouth, licking it hard, biting it, flicking it with my tongue. She groaned in ecstasy, grinding her hips into my face, begging for more of my tongue and lips. All the while Georgette continued to play with my prick in her mouth. She wasn't trying to make me come because Cathy had to have her turn also at sucking me. That was the agreement.
"Georgette shifted her body and brought her tits around near my chest. I reached down, cupping those huge fleshy mounds in my hands, pulling, squeezing, pushing on them. She writhed and twisted within my grasp, moaning as her mouth worked its magic on my prick.
"My fingers found her hard nipples and twisted them between my thumb and forefinger. She moaned louder, heaving those mounds across my chest in ecstasy as her body swayed in rhythmic passion. My face was buried in Cathy's pussy, bathed in her juices. I was the center of a wild drunken orgy with two young teen-agers who were obviously well practiced in the art of sex.
"Cathy's hips moved down hard against my mouth as I sucked and chewed her clitoris. My tongue flashed back and forth across her sex button as she ground and pressed her soft flesh harder onto my face. She yelled, 'I'm coming. Oh, God, I'm coming!' Her body remained still for a moment and then jerked and rocked as I continued to suck and nibble on her clitoris.
"She rolled off my face, panting hard for several moments, and then moved down to where Georgette was busily sucking me off. 'Okay,' she said, breathing heavily, 'my turn to suck his big dick. You get on his mouth now.' Georgette released my sopping wet prick and positioned herself above my head as Cathy dove for my prick with her mouth open wide. She took it full into her throat, causing my hips to thrust upward, trying to get in deeper. At the same time Georgette lowered her fleshy cunt to my mouth, swaying her hips. I extended my tongue and flashed it across the full length of her pussy lips. She let out a yell of ecstasy. My lips sucked in her large swollen clitoris and she let out a whole series of moans of great pleasure.
"Her clitoris was much larger than Cathy's. I sucked it into my mouth like a tender nipple and licked and flicked my tongue back and forth rapidly. Georgette emitted cries of helpless ecstasy.
"Cathy was on her side, sucking my dick up and down as fast as her head would move. My entire body lit up with electricity, pulsing sex throughout my being. I reached down and my hand fell upon her hips. I moved my hand around her soft thigh and in to her wet pussy lips. Her legs opened to allow my hand to find its way into her cunt, which was sopping wet. She moved her hips forward, nudging my hand against her pussy opening. I plunged two fingers into her warm wet hole and those lovely thighs closed snuggly around my hand, trapping my fingers in her sex hole.
"She moved her graceful hips to and fro, fucking my fingers. Obviously she didn't have enough sex and was begging for more. I moved my fingers as best I could within her pussy hole, pulling them out slightly, then jamming them in, wiggling them around inside her tight cunt. She moaned softly, clamping those soft thighs tighter around my hand. As her head flew up and down, violently sucking me off, her hips moved with equal violence, fucking my fingers. I swirled around inside her cunt, massaging every surface I could reach.
"My dick felt like a pole, stiff and throbbing, as Cathy sucked and licked like a madwoman, devouring my hot prick with lust. Then there was that forceful surge of hot liquid which started shooting flames from the depths of my gut, churning all through me as my orgasm began to build. I moaned and bobbed my ass up into Cathy's sucking mouth. She fucked my fingers faster as her head moved with greater speed, sucking my cock hard. I bit down on Georgette's clitoris, and she yelled her orgasm loud, crying out as though she were being tortured. My body exploded into Cathy's mouth, spurting come in strong jets against her soft throat. She pressed her thighs so hard that my hand was unable to move, her hips jerking in wild spasms as she spun off into her second orgasm.
"Georgette fell to the floor in exhaustion, moaning and gasping. Cathy lay on me, her lovely body heaving short gasps of air, one hand clinging tenaciously to my wilted organ. We lay there for several minutes, catching our breath. Our violent orgy soon swept us into a peaceful sleep.
"When I awoke, Cathy was still clinging to my penis and Georgette was lying alongside me with her arm around my chest, pressing her large tits against me. I felt like a king with a harem. Two sexy girls claiming me as their lover. I embraced Georgette and pressed her to me firmly, making her tits swell and bulge against my chest. She awoke and clung tighter, pressing her plump body against mine.
"A moment later Cathy awoke. She got to her feet sleepily and went into the kitchen. A moment later she returned with a box of tissues and wiped up the come from between my legs and around my balls. When I was all dry, she leaned over and kissed the head of my prick. Then she crawled up to nestle next to me as I encircled her slim shoulders with my free arm.
There I was, the reject of all the girls in high school, now with two teen-age lovers! Man, did I feel on top of the world.
"They both began getting playful, tweaking my nipples and tickling my balls, giggling, and kissing me. I responded by tweaking their nipples, which made them jump and yelp. We laughed and continued to tickle each other until it got out of control and we all found ourselves getting exhausted from the laughter.
"Then Cathy sprang to her feet. 'Food time, everybody,' she said.
"In the kitchen, Cathy and Georgette, still nude, began preparing food on the sideboard of the sink. Alternately, I patted their asses and squeezed their tits, much to their delight and enjoyment. We sat at the table and devoured scrambled eggs and bacon. God, we were starving to death.
"After our meal we sat on the sofa, with me between them. They snuggled close, resting their heads on my shoulders. I placed my arms around them and pulled them to me. My hands draped over their shoulders and rested on their tits. Simultaneously they said. 'That's nice.'
"After a while we had enough flesh petting and decided to play cards. That went on till about eight in the evening. Then Cathy said, 'Okay, now we play for balls and prick.'
"I said, 'What the hell is that?'
"Cathy smiled. 'Well, whoever wins the next hand gets a choice of your balls or your prick.'
" 'My balls or my prick?' I said, wondering what the hell they had in mind.
" 'Yeh,' said Cathy, 'Georgette and I play one hand, and the winner gets to choose which part of you they get to suck next time. If I win, for example, then I get to pick whether I want to suck on your balls or your prick, and the other girl takes seconds. We like to suck, suck, suck. And so there won't be any arguments as to who gets what part, the card hand settles the question.'
"Man, these girls were something else! Talk about getting an 'A' for Working Well Together! That took the cake.
"Georgette shuffled, then dealt a poker hand. She discarded two and picked up two from the deck. Cathy discarded three and replaced them from the deck.
" 'Okay, watcha got?' Cathy said.
"Georgette laid her cards out, displaying two jacks and two aces. Cathy threw down her cards. 'Shit,' she spat out. 'I got two lousy fives. Prick or balls, Georgette?'
" 'Prick, naturally.'
" 'Okay, prince,' Cathy jokingly said to me, 'let's make ourselves comfy in my bed.'
"As we went toward her bedroom, both girls escorted me down the hall. I grabbed a cheek of both of their asses and they began skipping into the bedroom like the school kids they were. We plopped down on the king-size bed, rolling over and over, squeezing each other's asses and feeling our bodies all over.
"We were getting excited again, our hands caressing up and down our skin. Then Cathy said, 'Slide down to the edge of the bed, Allen, so your knees hang over the edge.' I scooted down as she instructed until my feet touched the floor. 'Move forward a little more so your balls hang over more,' she said softly.
"When I was in position, Cathy got down on the floor, facing me, and slid her legs under the bed so her mouth was even with my crotch. Georgette knelt beside her.
"I hoisted myself up on my elbows so I could see what was going on.
"Cathy cupped her hands under my large balls. 'Don't worry, honey, I won't hurt you,' she said. 'I know these things are sensitive. I won't suck too hard.' As she brought my balls to her pretty mouth and began kissing me, Georgette began licking my prick. It wasn't long before that soft dick grew and throbbed. Cathy was kissing my balls and licking them all over, underneath, on the sides, just loving the hell out of them.
"Georgette swallowed my growing prick with her wet mouth and began sucking slightly, drawing my dick straight up and then plunging her mouth down to the hilt again. She began to breathe loudly. Cathy reached one hand over to Georgette's crotch and felt her way into the pussy area. Georgette reached down and placed her hand in Cathy's pussy hairs.
"As they sucked on me, they were playing with each other. That made me more excited. My whole body was tingling from top to bottom with sexual feelings. I was fascinated by our three-way orgy. Georgette's tongue seemed to be larger and thicker than Cathy's, and it felt extra good as she licked and sucked my hard piece of flesh. Each time she plunged her mouth down I raised my hips to meet her. We were all groaning and moaning from mutual caressing. The girls were fingering each other's clitoris as they sucked and licked my prick and balls. My whole groin seemed to be burning up with sexual pleasure. Cathy sucked one ball into her mouth. There was a slight pain, but it soon turned to intense pleasure.
"I was almost senseless by now with all the stimulation they were giving me. God, did those girls know how to blow! Every time Georgette slipped my prick into her mouth, she came up with her tongue licking hard against the underside, which sent hot burning sensations deep into my gut. This was only intensified as Cathy sucked gently on my balls. Soon my whole body was whirling with hot passion flowing all through me.
"Georgette's tits brushed my thighs with each movement. She was deliberately moving her body so that her nipples rubbed against my upper legs. I couldn't stand looking at her self-stimulation any longer and reached forward, grabbing one of those huge nipples in my fingers. She moaned and sucked my prick harder. I pinched and twisted her rigid nipple, making her jerk and bob, tug at my swollen prick, and suck harder than before. I pulled and twisted that sexy nipple as Cathy's fingers played in Georgette's cunt. The girl was out of her mind with ecstasy, which made her lick and suck my prick with more passion.
"She was obviously pinching or flipping Cathy's clitoris faster too, because suddenly Cathy was writhing on the floor, moving her head back and forth uncontrollably over my balls, sucking one, then the other, pressing her face into my crotch, sucking between my balls against my body near my ass. She licked and sucked ferociously, wildly, moaning in ecstasy.
"Then my entire sex area grew hot, intense feelings stirring about in all directions. I gasped, 'I'm coming! I'm coming!' As if to voice their arriving orgasms, they moaned loudly, moving their mouths and hands faster and faster. My eyes closed tightly as my whole body tightened and doubled forward.
"I shot an orgasm that I thought would never end. Wave upon wave of the most intense joy ripped through my body, shooting a never-ending stream of sperm into Georgette's mouth. Cathy's sucking of my balls heightened the orgasm to an unbearable degree. I felt as though my insides were being turned around and inside out. I just kept coming and coming, groaning and grunting as my hips thrashed about the bed. Their mouths never left me as they, too, whipped around in a violent orgasm.
"As the tidal wave subsided, and I lay back exhausted, the girls leaned on me, breathing heavily, licking and kissing my body as if never wanting their sex feelings to end. This had to be the most fantastic coming possible. Jesus, I never knew sex could be so absolutely all-consuming, so deliciously fulfilling.
"We all got onto the bed, up near the pillows, and embraced each other, petting and caressing. Their flesh was delightful and beautiful to touch. Two soft bodies devoted to bringing me such pleasure. God, I sure was in heaven. Who would think that such young girls could be so adept to lovemaking?
"Before the weekend was up we had several more orgies. By the time I got back to the base I felt like a limp dishrag. Christ! I've never been so washed out in my life. Those girls dragged every bit of lifeblood out of me. I discovered what sex was all about in three days, and it just about killed me!
"Cathy called me a couple of days later just to talk. We discussed the goings-on of the weekend, making jokes about the positions we were in while doing things, and recalling our orgasms and fantastic sex feelings. Then she got real serious. 'I want you to know,' she said slowly and almost sadly, 'that I'm kind of stuck on you, Allen. I want to see you every weekend. I'd like to be your girl friend.'
"It almost made my cry. She made me feel so loved and accepted.
"I told her that I'd like that. Then she said, 'And no more Georgette. It's just you and me.' I agreed happily.
"So we saw each other every weekend for a while, taking trips out into the country, having sex in the back seat of her car. But not once did I screw her. She didn't want to be screwed. I told her one night that I wanted to fuck her and she kissed me real passionately and told me that she wasn't ever going to fuck until she got married, but that if I wanted to fuck her bad enough she'd let me do it the back way.
"I couldn't understand how a girl so crazy about sex wouldn't want to fuck. But she was strange that way. She wanted to 'save' herself for her future husband while having a ball any other way she could until then.
"Well, I guess her old man figured there was hanky-panky going on and he broke the whole thing up. He called me at the base one night and told me he didn't want me seeing his daughter anymore. He wasn't nasty about it, just talked softly, explaining that Cathy was too young to be getting so deeply involved with one guy and all that shit.
"A couple of weeks later, while shopping in town, I ran into Georgette. I told her what had happened and that I was free, so if she'd like to we could go out some time. She jumped at the chance. We balled it up for quite a while. Always in the back seat of her car. God, could she give a blow job. This girl knew every trick in the book. There was never an orgasm that didn't send me out of my gourd.
"Then one night I tried to get my prick in her pussy, and she just about had a fit. I asked her what was wrong.
" 'Are you kidding?' she said. 'I don't want to get pregnant!'
"I didn't mind, though. She satisfied me completely with blow jobs. I just wanted to fuck her to know what the difference was between that and getting blown.
"And I have to admit--I like sucking on cunts. It's very intimate, more intimate than fucking could be. I mean, when you take a girl in your mouth and give her pleasure, that's sure a hell of a lot different than sticking your meat inside.
"I still haven't screwed, and it doesn't bother me anymore. Sucking a girl and having her suck you off is fantastic. I love the taste, the odors, the movements she makes when you please her. And they feel the same about sucking me off. You can use your hands and mouth at the same time and do all kinds of things to each other. Yes, sir. Blow jobs is the only way to go. Or come."
The emphasis of the two girls on oral gratification had mitigating implications in that they were concerned more with culturally inspired interests--the avoidance of premarital intercourse--than with psychological compulsions. Whether or not this practical approach to oral-ism has been conveyed to Allen in all its implications is difficult to determine. In any event, his orientation for the moment is exclusively oral.
CHAPTER FIVE - The Swinging Mouth
"Sure I'm a swinger. I'm turned on practically all the time. I think it's good like that, though there's a lot of fuddy-duddies and squares that don't, I know. Maybe THEY'RE frustrated.
"Sex is my beat. Sure, I like sex. Practically any way a guy can throw meat to me. Except what the squares call 'normal'--a guy sticking his dong into your pussy. That way you get a kid, and who needs a kid--to bring up in this screwy world? So, if somebody didn't have kids, there wouldn't be a world. So what? Who needs a world as screwy as this one? Maybe the insects would take over. From a professor I was Frenching I hear that insects do a pretty good job of managing their own worlds, small as they are. So maybe they should take over.
And some of 'em, to hear this professor talk, had right interesting sex lives.
"I've had an interesting sex life. At least, it's been interesting to me. Which means plenty of it. As much as one girl can handle, without turning whore. Which would be pretty much of a drag, I figure. Just lying there, letting guys ream you, one after another... Hell, no, I'm no whore. Of course, guys gimme presents, jewelry and stuff, and take me on trips, but that's because they like me, not because I'm no whore. Ain't any guy ever been in my cunt or likely to get there. Oh, sure, I've made out. Not bad, either.
"Yeah, I've done all right. That purple Cadillac's from a guy. Just a present. And I own my own co-op apartment. One guy gimme the--I think he called it the leasehole or something. So I own it. And this guy on Wall Street, he gimme a block of IBM. When it was down, once. Now it's skyhigh and paying pretty good. So you see, I just get presents. I don't peddle my tail for nobody. Not nobody.
"How'd I get started? Well, it ain't so far back, I've forgot. I guess a girl don't never forget her first time. It was my brother got me started, the bastard. I don't mean he's a bastard because he got me started on sex. He was a bastard. Like, Mom wasn't married. And--he was a bastard other ways, too. Mean. They shot him, down in Texas.
"I guess I'm a bastard, too, because Mom still wasn't married when I come along. She did, afterward, and most likely to my pa. She seemed to think he was, anyhow. Not that he did her much good, the hairy old fud, except to give her three more kids, before he run off with this blonde.
"Oh, about me? Well, we lived in Pa's house not far from town. It wasn't what you'd call a farm and it sure wasn't no suburban home. It was just a place not far from town. Mom still lives there, seeing as Pa never come back and we hear he's killed in a car wreck. She's got her another man now, who's a pretty good guy, I reckon. Anyhow, he's so good he don't want me coming around, like I'll corrupt the kids or something.
"It's a pretty big house. Anyway, me and Jake--that's my brother that got shot in Texas--each got our own rooms, with the bath down the hall that all of us use, only Jake not frequently enough.
"It's Saturday night and I've just had my regular bath and I'm coming down the hall. In my bathrobe. Or pretty near in it. It's one I have maybe three years and there's more of me by this time. I'm fourteen-going-on-fifteen then and I've filled out, with real nice boobs and even a little blondy muff over my cunt. A lot of that is sticking out, but who cares, it's just us there. The family.
"Jake is in the hall, just coming up the stairs, so he's got a full view, from below, right up my snatch and on to my boobs. And he's looking mean. Which he does mostly. But this time particular. I don't know it then, but he's been out with this town babe, trying to make out and ain't done so good. So he's horny. And sore.
"He stops and looks at me, real heavy looking. Oh, I've had plenty guys looking at me, seeing as I'm built like a girl with plenty of it, tits, rump, nice long legs. But the way Jake looks gives me the shivers. I try to pull that skimpy bathrobe together, but it only pulls one way. Either I can hide my tits or cover my snatch. So I wind up just letting it swing open and start to walk past him, with everything showing.
"Jake grabs my arm as I try to pass him and swings me around, looking all up and down my front and licking his lips. 'Well, well! Whad'ya know! Right here in my own home and I never realized! You really got equipment, Tina. And right now, I can use equipment. Come on!' He hauls me toward his room. Suddenly I'm scared. Sure, I been looked at. I've even had guys--and some grown men--make passes. But them I can brush off. Which I been doing, even if I am curious about what maybe they'd do. Sex-wise, you know. I guess every girl is curious, wondering how her snatch is gonna get used and who'll use it.
"Right then I know I'm gonna get laid. Jerking away from Jake won't do no good and for sure laughing at him won't. Just make him meaner. And hollering won't help none, since Mom and her man are out for Saturday night, most likely drunk already in some joint. So I'm gonna get laid, fight or just take it. Just taking it seems easier.
"I don't know that I'm gonna enjoy it but I sure will like it better than getting beat up first, like Jake is likely to do, looking as mean as he does, and still have to do it. So I go in his room, with his hand gripping my arm and him shoving so I stumble. He just laughs at that. 'So eager, you stumble? That's good. That's the way I like 'em. Eager.' Only he knows I'm not. He's just talking to make himself sound big.
"In his room he swings me around, making the bathrobe swish out and then settle, but not very much, over my figure. 'Take it off, kid. Go on, take it off, so I can see everything. I sure like to look at everything.' And licks his lips. So I drop the robe and stand there, shaking a little. Jake's eyes kinda pop and he whistles. 'You sure are all there, kid. Now, turn around--slow.'
"I turn around slow, just shuffling my feet a little bit, and eyeing Jake over my shoulder. And suddenly I'm interested. Not actually wanting to get screwed, but my cunt heats up and my boobs ache with the way my nipples are growing, getting hard. It's the way Jake is looking at me, I think, like I'm really something, really sexy. So I begin to feel sexy. Plus I'm trying to imagine what it's gonna be like getting reamed, with a boy's dong up my cunt. I can't really imagine it, because it ain't ever happened, but the thinking about it gets my snatch real hot.
"When my back is turned Jake drops his pants--he don't wear underpants--and steps up behind me, reaching around to grab my boobs, with his dong, hard as stone but hot, laid up against my-ass, twitching. He plays with my boobs, making the nipples harder than ever, and making me real, real interested in what's gonna happen. I mean, I'm not so scared anymore, just breathing deep and letting feelings run all up and down me, but mostly in my snatch, where things have gotten awful hot.
"Having his dong up against my ass does a lot of that, and feeling the heat and the twitch of it. He stoops a little and his dong pops between my legs. When he straightens, it slides between my legs and right over my snatch, so I can't hardly breathe. All the time he's squeezing on my titties and sorta chewing my nipples with his fingers. Even my flat little stomach is heaving by then, like maybe I'll throw my cookies only I don't.
"His big old bulb and shaft are sliding in and out between my legs when he humps, so my snatch is opening up--I can feel it--and my cream is starting. But it feels so big, sliding between my legs I really get scared again. Anything that big reaming in my cunt is sure gonna bust something. Split me in two. So I'm whimpering, 'Please, Jake, please don't screw me! Please. You'll sure bust something. Please don't screw me!'
"Jake don't say nothing, just keeps pumping his dong between my legs until I'm getting weak, like my legs want to fold. I can lean over some, in spite of how tight Jake is holding my boobs, and see his old bulb push out in front and then hide in my little muff. And feel it with the lips of my snatch. Until I'm near crazy, burning up with some kinda want I don't understand but for certain-sure not wanting that big dick in my cunt, splitting me open. 'Please, Jake, don't screw me. I'll do anything you want, only don't screw me.'
"Jake pulls his dong from between my legs and turns me around, grinning at me, funny and twisted, but a grin. 'You wasn't thinking I meant to screw my own kid sister, was you?' He's got me front to, now, and his pecker is sliding in again between my legs, pushing right at the lips of my cunt, and wiggling. It's got me to where I want to scream, but I still beg, 'Please, Jake. Don't screw me.'
"Jake steps back then, away from me. I look down and there's his huge old dong, standing up and shuddering, and his bulb is shiny with sweat or something. And I know I can't take all that. Even though I'm near excited enough to try. I mean, I want to, down there in my snatch, but I know I can't.
"Jake shakes his head, being sorta soft-sarcastic. 'Why, I wouldn't do nothin' like that to my own kid sister. I'm not gonna screw a nice kid like you. Just blow me.'
"I don't even know what he's talking about. 'Blow you?' Jake nods and points to his jumping pecker. 'Go down on it. Blow it! Suck me off. You got me all hot and horny, now do something. If you won't screw, blow me!' And pokes it at me, like he'll ream me out if I don't. I look at him, kinda stupid, I guess. 'How?'
"Jake grabs my shoulders and shoves me down, so I kneel in front of him, that big pecker jumping and squirming right in front of me. 'Open your mouth, kid, and take it.'
"I can't. I don't think I can even open my mouth that wide. But Jake puts his thumbs on my cheeks and rams 'em in, so I have to open my mouth, real wide. And he shoves his bulb right in, making me gag. But he's already pumping and suddenly I like the taste of him, even though it's big, filling my mouth.
"Jake is humping like crazy, his head thrown back and a sort of yip coming every now and then. 'Grab it, sis. Grab a fistful of dong.' So I reach a shaky hand up and grab his shaft. 'Squeeze it! Milk it!' So I squeeze and milk like it's one of Bossy's tits.
"Jake is running his hands over my back and every now and then around to grab a feel of titty, and is standing there, jerking his hips back and forth, with that pecker sliding in and out of my mouth. I'm sorta getting the hang of it, sucking some and tonguing some, for the taste of him. I'm building up inside me something fierce, down at my snatch and up through my belly.
"I am wiggling too, humping back and forth and that makes the sucking and the sliding in and out easier. More exciting. Till I've built up to something, some kind of explosion down around my snatch and up my belly. And just then it lets go with a real 'whump' you can almost hear, like Pa blowing stumps with dynamite.
"Jake yelps and rams his dong way in my mouth, down my throat, and pushes on the back of my head so I have to take it. I can feel his shaft swell and throb and then pow! He lets go! A load of hot, salty cream floods my throat and fills my mouth and I'm tasting a guy! Yipes! What a taste! And how much goo he pours into me! So much I'm beginning to get scared I can't handle it. Besides, I gotta breathe. I struggle a little and Jake lets up on my head. His dong slides outa my mouth, and I sit on the floor, bare-assed naked, with goo all over my face and looking silly.
"Jake just stands there, breathing deep and scratching at his belly, his dong mostly down now, limp, his face turned up, like he's praying, only Jake don't pray. I don't think he knows how. He says to the ceiling, 'An' it's right here at home, all the time! The best blow job a guy could get! Woo-WOO!'
"I'm kinda ashamed, seeing as I never done anything like that or even dreamed it could happen. But I'm happy, because I enjoyed it. Funny how you can have both feelings at the same time, ain't it? And, in a funny sort of way, I'm proud, proud that Jake, my older brother, has found something real good about me. 'Was that a blow job?'
"Jake looks down at me then and grins. 'Was that a blow job? Kiddo, that was THE blow job. You're the BEST!' Jake pats me on the head. 'Go wash your face, kid. And when you come back, maybe I'll go down on you.' My little snatch is all flooded with my own juices but it isn't--well--quite satisfied, like something's missing. I look up at him, kinda wondering. 'Can a guy do that to a girl? I mean, a girl don't have no dong nor nothing.'
"Jake helps me up, grinning. 'Don't worry so, kid. If Jake says it, it's so. Go wash. But leave your cunt alone. It's got juices in it.' And is he ever right. It's got so much juices in it my snatch is dribbling. So I go wash my face, still naked, and come back, still a little dumb about how a guy goes down a girl.
"Jake don't waste no time showing me. He almost flings me across the bed, my head just about off on one side and my body stretched out, my legs over the other edge. Jake leans over me, his tongue teasing my nipples until I'm getting wound up tight again. Then he slides down my belly and latches on to my cunt. There ain't nothing subtle about Jake. He wants a suck, he goes after it, fast.
"His fingers mighty nigh rip my cunt in half, opening it up, and then his tongue is on my clit, teasing it, but so sudden at first it's more scary than exciting, but soon it gets very hot down there, with Jake's tongue teasing my clit and reaming my cunt and slurping up juices. Even poking way up me.
"I've got a bellyful of hot rocks by then, and am humping to shove his tongue up my cunt, so it can rasp around on the sides and stir up more hot excitement.
"His dong is right over my face again and it's starting to swell and jump. I know what to do now, so I grab the shaft and shove his old bulb in my mouth, sucking and tonguing.
"We're both humping and grunting--only we're muffled, seeing as I got a prick in my mouth and Jake has his mouth rammed on to my cunt. I can feel those hot rocks in my belly are melting, blowing up and melting at the same time, and I'm getting ready for a big come. I suck in a load of air around Jake's prick and arch way up, holding it, so everything is stretched tight and exciting, almost vibrating. And Jake grabs my ass and yanks himself tighter on my cunt. At the same time he rams his dong deep down my throat, wriggling, then rigid, his dong pumping his come into me. And I'm spurting juices which Jake is sucking up in great gulps.
"It's a come, all right, a big explosion for both of us. I drop my head, and my whole body goes slack. Jake falls on me, near squashing me, his head between my spread legs and heaves so hard I think sure he's losing his cookies. His stomach is squashing my titties but that's all right. In fact fine. It makes 'em feel good. Particularly every time he shivers. Sort of stirs 'em up.
"Jake acts like he's gonna blow me again. He leans over and kisses my cunt and takes a few laps at my cream, but it's pretty feeble.
"When Jake rolls off me and leaves me be, I'm in a nice glow, all his groovy taste in my mouth and all that marvelous way of making me come. Yeah, man, I'm really fixed. And I ain't had a cock in me. So I don't have to worry none. Jake sits up in bed, cross-legged, his dong gone down like a punctured balloon, hanging limp, and grins at me, his eyes sort of roving. But I like it, because they ain't eating me up, just--looking.
"Jake nods, like he's approving of hisself for finding something out. 'You're some babe, sis. You got all the equipment a guy needs. And you blow up a storm. Sometime soon, when I need a good blow job, we'll try it again.' He's being real off-hand about it, like it ain't nothing. But I know pretty well for sure he'll be down on me the next night, and I'm already getting excited about it. Only I got enough sense not to push. Don't nobody push Jake. So I say, like it don't make no nevermind, 'Okay. Some other time.' And crawl off the bed. I think I swagger a bit, wiggling my hips and twitching my ass. I almost forget my robe but stop and pick that up. Jake whistles at me when I bend over, so I know he's seeing plenty.
I plan to stay awake thinking about this way of getting sex without getting pregnant and how swell it is, but I fall asleep pronto. And wake up in the morning, which is a Sunday, like I been drug through a knothole backwards. But then, everybody else feeling bum, Mom and Pa from the liquor they've lapped up, and Jake--well, he always feels mean Sunday mornings. Other mornings, too.
"He comes in to glare at me. I ain't got any nightclothes on and my boobs are sticking up. 'Don't you never say nothin' to Mom about what we done last night.' I know what he means and I ain't likely to, but I tease him a little. 'Don't she know how?' Jake tries to look glarey, but he chuckles. 'Mom don't know nothin' but lying on her back and opening her crack. That's why you 'n' me're here--and the three new ones. That's all screwin' gets you--kids.' And he's eyeing my boobs.
"He's only got on pajama pants and they ain't closed so well. I can see his dong shiver and start to rise up, getting big and red. I look at it and remember how swell it tasted and how it made me shoot off my juices. 'Lookin' for a blow job?' I say it, half teasing, half sorts hoping he is.
"He is.
"He comes right to the bed and drops his pajama pants, so he's naked, too, and pulls me roughly across the bed, so my head's right where he can poke his dong in my mouth. 'Eat it, kid. Eat it up, hair an' all.' Real tough guy.
"Then, suddenly, I don't really want to. I'm not worked up enough. But I reach for his dong, which ain't got its full size yet, still a little limpish, and play with it. Jake starts playing with my titties, fingering 'em and then licking at 'em. By then I'm getting hot in my snatch and down in my throat. First thing you know, we're going to town on each other, sucking, humping, moaning and squirming. I'm getting so wound up I'm about to bust--and we come almost together, his dong swelling and pulsing in my throat. Zong! His come crams into my throat and wells up in my mouth. I'm shooting him cream and he's lapping it up. Stars are busting in front of my eyes and pinwheels churning in my stomach.
"And then something happens. A boot comes up and catches Jake in the tail, liftin' him clean off me, tumbling him across the bed. And a hand comes whap across my cheek. 'Slut! Fornicators! Cocksuckers! "It's Pa,' standing over me like judgment. He's big. Twice as big as Jake and strong as a bull. Jake just rolls over, one hand on his tail, looking scared. Pa could break Jake in two with one hand. He jerks his head at Jake. 'Go to your room! I'll tend to you later.'
"Jake scrambles across the bed and skitters around Pa and out the door. He ain't even glaring, he's so scared. Me, I'm about to die. I mean, if I could, I would, right then. I'm shaking, as much from scare as from the blow job. Maybe more. And looking upside down at Pa makes him seem nine feet tall and then some. He ain't shaved and that bulldog jaw of his is mighty nigh black and his eyes are near popped out of his head.
"I start to cry, not real loud, just whimpering and letting the tears come. Up to then, that has always got Pa. I finger the cheek he smacked and turn my head away, letting out a real pathetic whimper. I feel him ease down on the bed beside me and I begin to get hopes he won't larrup me with a razor strop, like he's always threatening to do, for various things.
"I roll over and look up at him, real pleading, only he ain't looking at my face at all, not at all. His eyes are roving down to my tits and then on down to my snatch, down my legs, and back to my snatch. Also, I notice, for the first time, he's just wearing pajama pants, which are open, so I can see his hairy bush and his dong, lying limp right then.
"I just lay one hand on his leg, like begging, and say, 'Please, Pa! Don't beat me!' And let my hand droop over so it touches his dong. Which jumps. Not getting real stiff, just jumps. And let my hand slide deeper as I roll over, rubbing a tit against his hairy leg. It feels real good, having a hairy leg rub my tit. I can almost wrap my hand around Pa's dong, but I don't. Just let it rest on it, feeling it shake and start to get big.
"Pa leans over and pats my side. 'I wouldn't beat my little girl, Tina. Wasn't your fault.' And his hand drifts down to ease on to my tit, just sorta brushing it, and then twitching on it, making me take a real deep breath. And my hand just sort of twitches, too, half closing on his big dick. He leans over farther and breathes on my skin, right by my tit, like he can't make up his mind. And he comes crashing down with his mouth on my tit, sucking and tonguing the nipple. And the hand that's rubbing my side starts down on my leg, creeping inside, to stroke up and down my thigh.
"I really latch on to his dong, then, hanging on like I might lose it. I ain't gonna, I know, 'cause it's stiff as a ramrod by then and poking up where I can reach it with my mouth, if I strain. Only I don't have to strain, seeing as Pa rolls over some, so he can get his mouth down on my titties and down farther, running his tongue down my tummy and along my crease.
"I tug a little and slide my head up on his leg, so I can get his shiny bulb in my mouth and taste that big old drop of shine on the end. Pa stinks a little from the liquor of last night, but his taste is real prime. Man-taste.
"He dives down on my hot box, scratching my tummy with his whiskers and itching the inside of my legs, but he really gloms on to my pussy, eating it up. And rolls over so his dong is right over me and I don't have to strain. It's big. Lots bigger than Jake's and sorta different shape. It's kind of oval and his bulb is more pointy. I can see the blue veins swelling and jerking and his little pee-hole pumping out dew. Which I lick.
"Pa moans and goes tighter on my pussy, eating it up, his tongue going way up my cunt, hitting sides and places Jake ain't never reached. Gawd! He's got a tongue seems long as a snake. And he rams that dong down into my mouth so it near pushes my tongue down my throat. But I work my tongue lapping around his dong and we're off to the races.
"Pa's been screwing so long he knows plenty tricks Jake ain't never gonna live long enough to learn. He tickles my clit with a finger and teases one tit with the other hand whilst he's sucking my cunt so hard I feel like he'll suck in my eardrums.
"I'm doing all right at my end, sucking and licking on his prick, and keeping his balls off my nose with one hand--that plays with 'em a little. He pumps his behind so his dick, is riding in and out of my mouth, every once in a while pushing it way down my throat, like he's testing. Or maybe drilling.
"Then things get awful sudden. My stomach cramps up, real tight, everything in me seeming like it's gonna squeeze up--and then lets go with a whooooosh I can mighty near hear.
"Pa lets go about then, too, his dick pulsing and jumping and twitching in my mouth--then swelling way up, seems like--and whop! I got a throat and mouth full of his hot, smoke-tasting come. I'm swallowing like crazy, so I don't lose any, and licking at his dong for more.
"There ain't no more. Pa's shot his wad. But what a wad! It wells up in my mouth and dribbles over my lips and down my cheeks. And his dong has been so big inside me, my eyes are watering. Pa is shaking and twitching when he rolls off me, gulping for air. 'Gawd, gal, you sure do blow a guy! I ain't never had a real blow job. And nothing like that!'
"He lies there, stroking my leg and tits and just heaving, he's so pooped. And so am I. Maybe more'n him, since I had one blow job already that morning. Plus a couple the night before. But I'm not complaining. I like 'em. Goddamn right I like 'em.
"Pa throws his meat into my mouth whenever he can get Mom drunk enough so she won't notice, which ain't difficult. Getting Mom drunk. She's got a natural taste for it. And Jake gets on whenever Pa ain't watching too close, or is drunk, along with Mom, which is frequent. So I'm getting my sex okay. Oh, I could use more, but I'm happy. Because then I don't really know I want more'n what I'm getting.
"Jake introduces me to a coupla guys in town that like their sex varied, so we go on a real blowout every now 'n' then. I don't know it, but Jake is peddling my ass to these guys, pimping--and keeping it all, so I don't know. That don't make me no whore, does it? When my brother's peddling my ass, and I don't know it? I think I'm doing it for free, for kicks. And I get my kicks all right.
"I don't know where Jake meets this hardware salesman--a real nice guy, rich, with a big car and everything. Or how he finds out what the guy's taste in sex is. Maybe guys talk about it. I guess they do. Anyway, Jake introduces me to Lee. He's about thirty and slender. Real nice looking. I like him, even without sucking him off, I mean. He's a gentleman. That's a guy that tips his hat whenever he fucks a lady.
"He takes me to a drive-in movie and starts playing around, hands on my legs and stuff. And I see his bulge throbbing in his pants. So I know it's gonna be a blow job, and likely to be a good one, after I feel of his dong. He says, 'This movie is dull. Shall we go to my place?' I'm getting real worked up, seeing as his hand is on one of my boobs.
"I whisper to him right then, 'I don't screw. So if you're figuring on a lay, get yourself another girl.' He grins back at me. 'I know your kick, and it's what I want.' He starts the car, and we go to his motel, which is lots nicer than the places I been getting my blow jobs in. I like it.
"I like the way Lee undresses me, slow, lingering, like he enjoys watching as each part comes in view. It's a swell buildup, and I'm ready long before he drops his pants.
"His dong is maybe a little slim, but long. And sure-enough hard. I grab it, just for the feel of it, and his veins are already pulsing. Well, I'm pumping inside me, too. So I fling myself across the bed and he walks toward me, his dong standing at attention. He leans over, licking at my tits. Oh, I know. That the way it's usually done. But his way is--well, the way it oughta be done. Gives a girl duck-bumps just to think about it. It's the WAY he does it.
"He's shaved, too, real close, so he don't scratch my tummy or legs. And he diddles my ass while he's sucking, which makes things extra special. I go down on his dong--and just when I'm building to a real whoop-de-do, he pumps his goo into me. Terrific.
"After we rest up and wash up, Lee goes to the bureau and gets out his wallet. 'Jake said it would be fifty dollars.'
"That's when I blew my stack. Jake, peddling my ass! I'm so mad, I'm sputtering, but Lee calms me down, looking at me, real puzzled. 'You do it just for fun? For kicks?' I glare at him. 'What else for? It is fun. It is kicks. I'm no whore!'
"Lee holds up his hand. 'My error, Tina. I'm sorry I misunderstood.' He stuffs the money back in his wallet, shaking his head. Finally, he sits down across from me, looking at me. Even if I'm still naked, it ain't that kind of look. It's like he's figuring something out. Which it seems he is.
"Finally, he nods, like he's made a decision.
'Tina, is there anything to keep you here?' I laugh and nod. 'Sure. What you just stuck back in your wallet. Money. Or lack of it.' Lee frowns. 'But you won't accept money.' I nod. 'Not for sucking or screwing. I can't. I just got a thing against it. Like it makes me a whore.'
"Lee puzzles over that for a moment and then says, 'Tina, if you'd like to go to St. Louis, I could offer you a proposition that won't--offend you.'
"I study him for a moment, baffled. 'A proposition? Like what?'
"Lee takes a deep breath and holds it. 'Suppose I was to take an apartment--with a couple or three other guys--and you went to live there. Wait a minute, ain't any money being paid you, you understand. Oh, if one of 'em wants to give you a gift, like a new dress or a wristwatch, that's different.'
"I think about it and it sounds good. I get away from my family, especially Jake, and this crummy town. And I'll have me an apartment and clothes and a wristwatch and still not be a whore. Yeah, I think it sounds great. Plus I get plenty of sucking."
Tina, by her own statement, is far more concerned with her status, as she sees it, than with actual conditions. This is not an unusual situation. In fact, it is quite prevalent. Most people have a special image of themselves which they can't have shattered. Tina is just a little more frank about hers, and quite intense in her defense of her self-created image.
She is constantly delivering her body up as a sex object to a wide variety of men, and accepting lavish and expensive gifts from them, but absolutely refusing to recognize that she is being paid for these favors.
Tina refuses to see that she is doing anything improper, even in her sexual behavior, or that she is "peddling her ass" to a variety of men. This almost amnesiac attitude is a form of self-hypnosis that has enabled her not only to survive in her environment, but prosper. It is, from a psychiatric point of view, a remarkable achievement, since she seems to have thoroughly convinced herself of her position. Outside of outright madness, it is difficult to discover such a case of complete self-deception.
What's more, Tina may even be quite legally correct. The police and courts have certainly found nothing to contradict her statement. She has never, so far as the officials are concerned, accepted money in exchange for her favors. And prostitution has certain specific definitions. It is extremely doubtful that Tina considered this phase at the outset of her remarkable career. She probably was completely unaware of any legal distinctions. It was purely emotional with her, her desire to retain her "amateur" status and to avoid, in her own mind, the stigma of being a prostitute.
That she committed incest is inherent in her statement, even though the initial sex was essentially rape. However, as she has said, her brother, Jake, was killed (in a bank holdup), and her father--if he was her father (though most states regard a stepfather in the same category as father in a matter of incest)--was killed in an automobile accident. Both statements were found to be correct, which put both males in this case beyond the jurisdiction of the court.
Tina could certainly benefit from a course of psychiatric therapy, in one respect. In another, though this admission appears to be psychiatric heresy, Tina is probably very satisfactorily adjusted to her environment. Which is all psychiatric therapy could do for her, even though, admittedly, the environment itself is emotionally unhealthy.
It is quite understandable that Tina was afraid of a pregnancy. Freud, Adler, and many other prominent psychoanalysts generally agree that cultural paraphiliac sexual relationships are based on this fear. Freud stands almost alone in attributing this fear to the apprehension of castration. Since this is a purely male element--castration being generally accepted as the removal of the male testes--it is not quite clear how Freud related such fears to a female, except to refer to them as "psychological."
The fear is normal enough, without any such psychological motivation. Pregnancy, the occasional end result of coitus, is, at best, an "undesirable" situation for a young girl. In Tina's case, such a fear has been intensified by her mother's promiscuity. Both Tina and her brother Jake are illegitimate children, so Tina is well aware of the possibilities of normal coitus, the begetting of a child, and probably only too well aware of the social opprobrium that goes with illegitimacy, having had to live in a small town under such a cloud herself.
Tina was just emerging, biologically, from what Freud has termed "the latency period" of interest in sexual organs. Clara Thompson, in her definitive study of the Freudian theories, in Psychoanalysis, Evolution and Development, attributes "the latency period" to widening social consciousness and social pressure rather than to Freud's "fear of castration." With puberty the biological urges begin to appear, an interest in the sex organs again emerges.
Tina was just at that point of newly aroused interest in sex and her own organs when her brother Jake forced her into a new and immediate sexual problem. Her fear of pregnancy prohibited her from taking normal sex. Jake's own awareness of the possibilities, plus his own urgent sexual needs, made him seek oral sex, which he found satisfactory.
Tina also found this, to her amazement, a satisfaction for her aroused sex, and submitted to this particular form of cultural paraphilia, which Benjamin Karpman, in The Sexual Offender arid His Offenses, defines as "those forms of sexual activity which run counter to accepted social behavior and which are antibiological, either per se or because they are socially prohibited." This would apply both to the incestuous relationship Jake proposes and commits, and to the acts of cunnilingus and fellatio which they perform.
Freud, in his Basic Writings, says this of such use of "secondary erogenous zones" for primary sexual gratification:
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In the perversions which claim sexual significance for the oral cavity (and the anal opening) the part played by the erogenous zones is quite obvious. The latter behave in every way like a part of the sexual apparatus... become the seat of new sensations and innervating changes in a manner similar to the real genitals when under the excitement of normal sexual practices.
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Which is simply a complex way of saying that the mouth may act like a woman's usual sex organ. As it most certainly did in Tina's case. This was later reinforced by her father's use of her for oral sex. Countering her normal fear of pregnancy, this "hedonistic gratification of the sexual drive" (Freud's term for climax) was an enlightening experience for the young girl. She derived satisfaction and at the same time avoided the fear of pregnancy. Where her attitude toward accepting money came from would have to await further study, which time did not allow. We only know it was emotional, not practical.
* * *
"I want Lee to take me away right then, only he can't, he says. He's got to set things up. But the next time he's through town he takes me with him. I just walk outa the house with just what I'm standing in and walk outa town, like I'm going for a stroll or maybe hitchhiking. Lee comes along in that real snazzy car and picks me up. I snuggle down in one o' them bucket seats, leaving a bit of leg showing and some of my ass, just to keep his mind on what's to come. And we're off!
"Don't nobody set up too much of a howl, except I think Jake is gonna be some sore, seein' as he don't have my ass to peddle no more. I'm sure burned up at that character. Selling my ass! Almost the same as making me a whore. And he ain't even gimme that silver bangle bracelet I been hintin' for.
"Pa's more'n likely sore as hell, too, on'y he ain't saying nothing or anyhow, much, seeing as I might tell some things about why I run away if I am ever caught.
"The apartment Lee's got for me looks real jazzy and snazzy to me then. I seen heaps better since, but then it looks good. It's got three bedrooms and a big living room and a dining room and kitchen and, of course, a bath. The furniture is better'n what we got at home but not new, except for a king-size bed that Lee says is for 'sporting events.'
"I'm so happy at gettin' away from Jake and his meanness and the house an' all I'm ready to use that bed right then. An' we do, seein' as I been lettin' Lee take good peeks at my legs and stuff right up to the open switch and lettin' him cop a feel every now 'n' then. So he's ready, too, his ole cock bulging and jumping in his pants. An' his peeking and feeling has me worked up, too.
"So in nothing flat we're down to nothing. His dong goes down a little whilst he's stripping but it sure bobs up when I stand in front of him, wiggling my snatch and reaching for it. I can see it swell, the blue veins of his shaft swelling and beating like they hear music, and the head getting all shiny with early dew. I lean down and take me a quick taste of him and he grabs at my ass, pulling me onto his shaft, breathing heavy. 'Take it, Tina! Take it! Blow me! Blow me!'
"I'd rather have him going down on me, too, at the same time, but we've been riding a coupla hours or so, busy getting one another hot, so I'm willing. I give his cock a couple of licks, just for the taste and then slide his bulb in my mouth, tonguing, mostly, just to stir things up. Not real sucking yet.
"Lee reaches down and wraps his hands around my boobs, squeezing my nipples with his fingers. I feel 'em get hard, and I'm feeling that wonderful old itch in my snatch, like it knows this is gonna be a good one. Lee takes one hand off my boobs and runs it down my spine and right at my brownhole, tickling it and really starting things off. And then over my ass and down to fingering my snatch, one finger rubbing along the lips and tickling my clit, till I'm humping and jumping so I can't hardly keep his dong in my mouth. I grab him around the ass and hang on, pulling his dong deep in my throat, where I'm already tasting his juices.
"Lee takes his other hand off my boobs and pushes on the back of my head, bobbing it up and down, so I'm getting some real action. Plus his finger up my cunt is doing some real fancy work, reaming and jerking in and out, and every once in a while, scratching at my clit.
"I'm so hot, I'm sweating, but inside. I can feel it, only of course I know it's my own creamy goo, getting set for the big old blowout. His curly hairs are tickling my nose so it almost makes me sneeze, only I got more important things to think about. I let go his ass with one hand and jiggle his balls a little in their prune-wrinkled sack.
"That makes him hump all the harder and slam his hand down on my head, shoving his dong so deep I think maybe I could peep down and see his hard on poke out my asshole.
"Then he near drowns me in jism. I feel his dong swell with it and jump and jerk. Then he yanks it practically outa my mouth--and drives it in, way deep. Hot creamy jism swells in my throat, tasting like sweet hot brass. And I pour out juices so fast I'm puddling on the floor, with both of us bucking and humping.
"Lee sighs so loud I can hear him over the singing in my ears, and straightens up, pulling his finger outa my cunt, and licking it--his finger. 'Gawd, Tina, I been needing that! You're wonderful, kid. Superb!' And lifts me up. He needs to help me, seeing as I'm limp. Shivering, too, though it ain't cold.
"He holds me close, so I feel the stiff, curly hairs of his chest against my boobs, which is fine, only they ain't so interested at the moment. He picks me up and lays me out real gentle on the bed, my legs hanging over, and squats down so he can get his mouth right up on my creamy old snatch. And gives me a real ride, sliding his tongue in and lapping up that creamy old goo and teasing my clit and reaming his tongue up my slit and squirming it around, like he's eating my cream with a spoon. And I have another come, so hard I'm beating the bed with my fists and rolling around and moaning.
"I give him the second load, which he sucks on, real deep, and then drops back, falling to the floor and leaning his head against my leg. We stay like that for a while, just letting the shudders run out. Then we go have a shower. Together. I'm so played out I can't do more'n rub my boobs against his chest and handle his dong a little. Which don't do him no good, neither, seeing as he himself is too pooped to pop, too.
"So we just go back and lie in bed together, enjoying being naked and feeling skin against skin. That long ride and getting each other steamed up without being able to do anything has sure built us to a pitch.
"It's getting on toward dark when I see his dong is waking up a little and my snatch is beginning to feel like life is worth living again. Only Lee says we shouldn't, seeing as a couple of the guys will be coming in tonight, to meet me. I better save some stuff for them. That perks me up.
"I get up and dress--without no bra or panties, seeing as I plan to discard 'em pretty soon. Two new guys! And I ain't gonna have no arguments with 'em. Lee tells me they already know I don't screw and that's the way they like it, just sucking. Which is why they arrange for the apartment.
"The guys come, two of 'em. One, Ted, is about Lee's age--maybe thirty or so--and the other is a little older. Not as old as Pa, but older than Lee. They bring two big bags each of hamburgers and Cokes and a couple of bottles of whiskey, only I tell 'em, real quick, no drinking, remembering Pa and how he stinks when he's drunk.
"The older one nods. 'Very sensible girl, your Tina. The liquor is out. Oh, maybe for a nightcap, when we're leaving.' Which is okay by me, so long as I don't have to smell 'em stinking up the house. Man-smell is okay, fine. Liquor smell kills it. So we sit around in the dining room eating hamburgers and drinking Cokes. With the two guys eyeing my boobs whenever I reach for a Coke or a hamburger. And that early suck has really gimme an appetite, so I reach frequent. And because they're getting such a bang outa seeing my boobs, I maybe reach more'n I really need to.
"I'm getting real built up. Having three guys eye me at the same time kinda gets my snatch real itchy. I'm wondering who's gonna be first. I kinda favor Ted, but Jason looks like he might have a real appetite for cunt. I can see his mouth working every now and then, like he's already tasting it.
"The same thing's bothering them, which is gonna be first. Finally Jason looks at Lee. 'How do we work this? Draw straws?'
"Lee looks at me. 'Tina, could you take two at once, one blowing you and you blowing the other?'
"I ain't never tried that but I think about it. It's exciting and gets my cunt real itchy. Two at once! Only, I ain't so sure how.
"Ted and Jason show me how. Only first, I do a little strip, just to show 'em what's coming up. And to get 'em worked up. And me, too. Stripping, slow and easy, is a sure way to get your snatch set and your insides working. I walk around, real slow and sexy, showing my boobs and my ass and letting 'em get a good view of my slit. Jason sucks in his breath, doing a sort of backwards whistle. He passes a hand over my ass as I go by and then shakes it, blowing on it, like he burnt it, but grinning. Ted is a boobs man and plays a little with 'em. He even leans over and tongues 'em each once, real light, and nods.
"We go in the bedroom with the big king-size bed and Ted says, 'Lie across it, your head off one edge.' I do, but slow, letting 'em get real eyefuls.
"They peel pretty fast. Jason's dong is slimmer than Ted's but looks longer. Ted's is kinda fat and broad. And both of 'em got that early dewdrop hanging.
"I beckon 'em over and grab a dong of each and get me a quick taste of early dew. And hang on to Jason's, seeing as he's the one I'm gonna suck. Ted moves around to the other side of the bed and sprawls across it, his head right up between my legs. I close 'em up a little, giving his ears a squeeze and he moans, then pushes them wide apart so he can get his mouth right on my snatch.
"I got Jason's prick in my hand and I rub it against my cheek and then tease it with my tongue. He's standing awful straight and stiff but right then he sorta melts and goes down on his knees, so his dong is right level with my mouth, and he's shaking so I have to guide it in, licking and tonguing as I close my lips over it. He tastes a little brassier than Lee and his veins pulse more, but he's easier to fit in my mouth.
"Ted keeps pushing my legs apart and burrowing up on my snatch, digging at my slit and even reaching my clit with his nose. Then he really fastens on, sucking deep and reaming with his tongue.
"If you ain't never had four hands playing over your tits and round ass and all up and down you, along with Jason leaning over for a suck at my nipples every now and then, man, you ain't lived! Jason pumps his dong a little, getting into the swing of it. And I hump my ass so's to stir things up for Ted. It gets us all in rhythm, real bongo rhythm. And I'm building awful quick, quicker than I mean to, but those four hands really play tunes on me. I come with a big heave, spurting my cream at Ted, who drinks it up and goes after more. Jason hasn't come yet, being older and a little slow. So I keep on sucking, waiting for the gush of hot, brassy old jism. And Ted's building me for another big come. That time Jason shoots his hot old wad just as I pump my stuff for Ted. It's fireworks and booms and bright lights!
"Jason pulls his pecker out real slow, like he don't want to give up a nice hot sucking mouth. Ted drops his head against one of my legs and laps at my juices, but kinda slow, getting all the taste of it. And I'm just lying there, quivering all inside from the excitement of it, my mouth all creamed up, swallowing and tasting, and my snatch working a little still, shivery-like, still putting out juices.
"The three of us stay like that for a while, Jason leaning against the side of the bed and reaching up for a feel of a boob, and Ted lying against my legs, twitching once in a while, and me just getting back in focus.
"Ted finally raises his head and looks up my body, trying for a grin. 'I'm stuck with a big yen, kid. So how about sucking all my stuff out for me?' Jason chuckles. 'Okay, and I take your end.'
"If it's gonna be anything like the first, I'm willing, with a few minutes rest. So Ted and Jason change places. Ted is right about he needs a blow. His pecker is hard and jumping, and very big. Broad. But I get my lips around it and give him a tonguing and then one big suck--and he's had it. II ; floods me. Really floods me. And I give Jason a big jolt, too, being as I'm built up already and Ted's big come triggers a lot of stuff going on down around my snatch.
"Both of them has had it by then, and I'm on the pooped side myself, having gone down on Lee and had a doubleheader with him earlier.
"Hard for all three of us to get in the shower together, but we manage, with plenty of laughs. The guys get dressed but I don't. The apartment's warm and I like being naked and having the guys give me those long, studying looks, sighing every now and then, like they'd maybe like to have things permanent, with a mouth on my cunt all the time.
"Ted and Jason have a drink just as they're leaving, but Jason says, 'It's a shame to wash down all that girl-taste, but I need the nourishment.' And Ted claps Lee on the back. 'You done noble, son, real noble. The boys'll appreciate it.'
"I've most forgot, up to then, that there's gonna be others. So I ask Lee how many. He says there's six in the club, including him. Which means three more I ain't met. 'They as nice as you and Ted and Jason?' Lee grins. 'Ain't anybody as nice as me, but they're okay. Real gone guys.'
"Things rock along like that for a coupla-three years, until one night we're really swinging with a six-way daisy-chain going, sucking and getting sucked and I'm giving a guy my load and getting somebody else's deep in my mouth. Ain't nothing like it! I'm bare-assed naked, going down on a guy, with another one reaming my snatch, when one of those old biddies who ain't had any fun since she fingered herself off behind the barn when she was nine or ten, calls the authorities, saying there's too much noise, and it's a disgrace.
"It ain't no disgrace. Just fun. And I ain't took a penny from anybody, so it ain't whoring. And ain't any guy had his dong in my cunt, even once, so it ain't even real screwing. Like I say, just fun."
* * *
There is such a parallel between the situations--environmental, emotional, and psychological--of the subject of the first case history (Lillian) and that of the immediately preceding one, that even the prognosis cannot be anything but identical. In one word: pessimistic.
CONCLUSION
The foregoing case histories may have served to acquaint the reader with the predominance of oral activity in the United States and throughout the Western world. The occurrence of oral-ism, as has been seen, is not limited to any particular social class, age group or sex. It will be observed that women contribute a large part of the case history material, and that the female subjects confess their eager participation in this type of sexual activity. Indeed, in at least one case, that of the young man, Allen, the interest of his female partners in oral consummation may have exceeded his own.
It cannot be denied that this recent tendency of women toward oralism may be nothing more than a public exposure of something that has been going on for a long time. Still, the fact that these young women feel free to expose their sexual activities--many of them considered "perverse" up to relatively recent times--can only be considered a step forward when contrasted to the stifling repression of sexual feeling which made up so much of the material of such investigators as Freud and Jung. Even in cases of neurotic or compulsive attachment to oralism as an exclusive form of sexual relations, the willingness to face up to a problem is the first step toward overcoming it. In that respect, few will condemn the openness and honesty of the subjects.
One cannot fail to be impressed with the wide-ranging changes in attitude that have led to the current sexual revolution among young people. The general acceptance of oralism and other extravaginal means of satisfaction has been attested to in the current popularity of marriage manuals and other sources of sex education. Gradually, the increase in sex-education materials has led to what many consider a complete reversal of sexual attitudes, as Albert Ellis observes in his and Arbarbanel's Encyclopedia of Sexual Behavior:
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As we enter the closing phases of the twentieth century, a curious semireversal of the Eastern and Western attitudes toward coitus seems to be taking place. At least among the highly educated, intelligent, and widely read classes of English-speaking society, an unusually liberal attitude toward extravaginal coital relations has been and is still spreading: so that it may be confidently predicted that by the close of the present century an individual in these classes will be considered neurotically inhibited and to some degree sexually deviated if he does not at times spontaneously and joyously engage in all forms of heterosexual coitus, vaginal as well as nonvaginal.
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The objective observer may well wonder what the future holds if this prediction becomes even partially true. How will the eyes of the future look back upon our era of widespread sexual neurosis and psychological conflict? What will they think of the masses of pilgrims wending their way to the offices of psychiatrists and psychologists all over the country? Will even these foregoing case histories, so shocking to many of our present-day citizens, be considered exceptional in their fascination with oral sex? Note that even to Ellis the criterion for sexual health seems to be the exclusivity or nonexclusivity of sexual interest.
It may be, then, that there is a gradual relaxation of the more neurotic forms of sexual vigilance working its way through our society and the societies of the Western world in general. It was not so long ago, in Victorian England, that the mention of such parts of the body as the arm or leg brought shocked amazement as a response. The taboos of that period have been relaxed to a substantial degree in the present day. It should not take much imagination to postulate the further alteration of ingrained sexual taboos as the world moves on.
However, even with the relaxation of sexual prejudice and the improvement of scientific and psychological techniques for the investigation of human sexual behavior, it cannot be assumed that topics such as oral sex will be accepted without reservation throughout the general public. As always, the advancement of study will proceed in slow, steady steps.
There can be little doubt, however, that oralism, which was certainly practiced in other times, has achieved a certain amount of public acceptance, particularly among the young. The practice of such sexual refinements, now included routinely in most marriage manuals as a form of foreplay, would, a few years ago, have exposed the participants to the most severe and unreasoning forms of legal and social punishment. Today, in a time of relatively liberal sexual attitude, ushered in by such people as Kinsey and Masters and Johnson, there is more of an interest in examining and studying sexual "deviation" rather than condemning outright.
In conclusion, we must take account of the fact that oral sex is a definite preference with some people. With the advent of the Pill it is obvious that oralism is not limited to merely another means of avoiding conception. Future investigators may conclude that it represents just another avenue in the wide and varied paths of that elusive search for a true and honest human sexual response.
