Throughout history, it has been assumed that women play the submissive role in the culture. Suddenly, in 1980, sexual roles are no longer defined and women must yearn silently to submit to the demands of an aggressive man who will beat them into subservience.
In this book, you will meet several women who desire masterly men. They include-
Kitty, who is tortured by a history of rape and then tortured when more rape becomes a part of her sexual present.
Marie, who answers an ad in the newspaper and becomes the slave to a woman.
And Anne, whose sexual history begins with her seduction by an older man-and an older woman.
These women have stories to tell, stories that may inform the reader about the new roles that women can play-indeed, desire to play-in modern society.
CASE HISTORY ONE
SUBJECT: ANNE M. AGE: Nineteen
INTERVIEW ONE
Anne came to see me after she had been brutally beaten by a neighborhood street gang. The story had created much press. It seemed that this was not just an ordinary mugging, but rather part of a regular sex scene, growing more and more popular, even in middle class, conservative communities. There is still little known today about the deep and urgent sexual desires of submissive woman. As part of a team of sexologists, who have over the years investigated the sexual practices of our culture, I was asked to develop a study on the subject. In order to do so I had to free my own mind of any judgments that I might have on the subject. I had always thought of any person who enjoyed pain to be classified as a masochist. And a masochist I considered sick. It was just as simple as that. I can not say that I have ever enjoyed suffering in any way, shape or form. But now, after listening with an open mind to the following women who have craved subordination, I must say that I have come to new conclusions. So, I ask the reader to bear with me on this subject and again, leave your mind open to the possibilities of a new and yet unexplored area of sexual eroticism.
Anne is one of the younger women interviewed. Usually women who are at least in their late twenties are the ones who are most in touch with their sexual desires. So, I was surprised to find a child of nineteen in my office. I can not say that she seemed at all pleased to be waiting for our interview.
In the morning, when I came into work, I found her sitting in my waiting room, dressed in a rather prim flower print dress, she was rather fidgity. I almost thought that this was the wrong girl. At first glance she looked too clean cut and innocent to be into such kinky sex. But as she stood up and began to follow me back into my small office at the end of the hall, I sensed a quality of lust that I have known in only few woman. How that quality actually manifested in her physical form is difficult to explain. Yes, Anne is very pretty, with long flowing black hair and pale green eyes that hold a steady glare. Perhaps it is the way she holds out her firm ripe breasts, almost asking to be touched. Perhaps it is the tight boyish ass that curves gracefully in a slope. But it is more than her youth or prettiness or the lovely soft quality of her flesh. I would say it was a vibration, a quietness that in some way screams out for sex.
Anne had been raped at least seven times in the last three months. Usually it is assumed that the woman in these situations is an innocent. Especially when she is so very young. But because of the number of charges, it became obvious that this was a repeated pattern and that there must be something that Anne was doing to create the situations. Here is her story as she told it to me in her own words.
I really didn't want to come here at first. I don't feel that there's anything that I have done that is morally wrong. And, in fact I feel quite angry at the officials in the community for trying to prevent me from enjoying my particular brand of sexuality.
When I started to think about the whole thing some more, I realized that there was probably very little understanding on the part of doctors and the community when it came to understanding the real sexual natures of women. Now, first of all, I want to make it very clear that what I am about to tell you does not apply to all women. In fact, what I think has to be understood is that there is no such thing as normal sexuality. What I'm trying to explain here, and I hope it's clear is that every person is different when it comes to sex. Now, you may ask me how I know this since ' I'm only nineteen years old, and certainly I haven't had the time to interview everyone in the world. But I can tell you that even among my girlfriends, and we're pretty open about what we do, I've found that all of us like a different thing.
I guess the big trick in life is to find other people who have the same fantasies as you. But the problem that I've found lately, is that there are very few people who are really totally honest about their sexual habits and thoughts. That's why I decided to come to see you after all. I would really like to try and do my part to clear up some things by being real honest about how I feel. Perhaps if I can communicate these thoughts to you, you will be in a position to help many women you meet after me.
I guess I was always hot, always wanting to get it off sexually. But then doesn't everyone.
Maybe there are still people around who pretend that their twats don't get hot and wet and that they are above it all. But the way I figure it, that's just society's way of trying to control us. They make everything structured and controlled. They make you feel that fucking around a lot is a real no no. Hell, I was born knowing sex was wrong from the day I was born.
Even before I had a big many cock thrust deep inside of me, I knew that was all I really wanted in the world. My first sexual memories are with my Uncle Nat. He was a real strong masculine guy who worked in construction. He had this wonderful head of blond curls and a thick bushy moustache that I used to love to kiss. Even though I was only four at the time and Nat was at least thirty or more, there was a real attraction I had for him. I guess you could call it a crush. My whole body felt real hot and tingly when I was around Nat and I would beg my Mom to let him baby-sit for me when she was out.
One night Nat brought his girlfriend over for the night. Mom and Dad went out for the evening and Nat and Gloria were in the living room watching television. Well, at least I thought from the sound of the tube that was on pretty loud, that they were just watching television. In fact the set was on so loud that I got up from my bed to go into the living room to ask them to shut it down a little. When I walked into the room I had the shock of my life. But even though I let out a little scream, they couldn't hear me because the set was on so damn loud.
There was Gloria with her long lean gams stretched wide apart, totally bare from the waist down. Her large full breasts swelled under her tight shirt. But it wasn't her boobs that Nat was into. His head was lowered to her ankles. At first I could not make out what the hell he was doing. But soon I realized that Nat was fastening her ankles to the legs of the couch. Then he pulled down her wrists, so that Gloria seemed to be on all fours. Nat pulled over a heavy wood table and began fastening her wrists with that. If Gloria's full ass was not totally bare, surely I would have thought they were playing some silly game. But something deep inside of me knew that there was something intensely sexual that was going on.
As Nat gagged her with a large white cloth, I knew that she was in for some terrible pain. I couldn't imagine what. I remember only how my mind began to fill with lusty thoughts and desire. I guess I wanted to be in Gloria's position. From the look on her face I knew that she was excited about what was in store for her. Her ass was tilted high and from where I stood I could see her crack opening up between her cheeks. She moaned. It was a moan of delight as Nat rubbed a white creamy substance into her ass hole. My panties felt wet and as I hid behind the sheer curtain, getting a perfect view of all that was going on, I can only tell you that I was filled with erotic excitement. I lowered my little hand to my hairless cunt and began to rub hard as the juices were dripping.
Nat opened the fly to his pants and pulled out a long, hard throbbing cock. It was the first cock I had ever seen and I was deeply shocked to see this magnificent spear that shot out between his muscular legs. His pants dropped to the floor. He stepped out of them and threw them across the floor, missing me by only a few inches. For a second my heart dropped. I thought for sure that I would be detected, hiding behind the thin curtain. But there was no way now that I could get back to my room now. Surely he would see me. I just couldn't take the chance. And besides. I really wanted to see what he was going to do with that thick spear.
As I said before, Nat was in the process of " lubricating Gloria's asshole. But there was no doubt in my mind now that Gloria wanted it and that she really needed no preparation. I guess it was the way she held her firm rounded ass out that really made me know that she wanted his thick cock to ram deep inside of her. And as I thought of this I realized that I wanted Nat too. I wanted his cock that I now saw pulsating before my eyes. I wanted to reach out and take it between my hands, to rub it and fondle it. Instinctively something told me I wanted his cock wet and firm and slick deep inside my mouth and that I could suck on it forever. I can not tell you the control I had to use, as I continued to rub on my cunt. The juices were flowing right down my soft thighs and I had never known the depths of such passion before in all my life.
Nat moved closer to Gloria, his thick cock, hard and firm stuck out and the tip of his lovely spear touched the hole of her ass ever so slightly. Suddenly it penetrated a little deeper and the mushroom tip was hidden from my vision. My twat was aching for him, more than my ass, for it was there that I was feeling deep and penetrating muscle spasms. So, I wondered in my mind why it was that Nat was penetrating the hole of the ass instead of the hole of the twat. Gloria began to scream. She definitely was in pain. I felt terrible for her. I really did. I was also scared. I knew that what was happening to her in that moment was just awful. From the tone of her voice I just knew that she was in extreme pain. Her eyes bulged with horror. But her mouth was stuffed with the white cloth so that all her cries of agony were muffled.
"Oh, God! It's so tight and good." Nat cried out in ecstasy. He moved in her just a bit deeper. She was still in agony. She was uttering words, but it was just impossible to make out what it was that she was saying. Then in about a minute or two her anguished face turned to one filled with delight. It was then that my Uncle began to move slowly in and out. and it was then that he untied her gag and I heard her tell him that it felt wonderful.
He continued working his large rod deep into her ass and she cooed with pleasure. My curiosity to see everything up close began to fill me and I had to resist my temptations now to move closer and take a closer view.
I will never forget the way the room filled with a pungent aroma. I will never forget the gushing sounds that came from the thick cock deep inside the wet cunt of the fastened girl. There are times, even to this day, when I fantasize about that very scene and always I can recall the sounds and smell so well, as though it all took place only yesterday.
They kept on like that for quite some time, both lost in their own ecstasy. Then Nat reached out for an object beside him. From where I stood, it was a little hard to make out exactly what it was that he held in his hand. But as I saw him draw it closer to him, I realized it was a rubber dildo.
The rubber dildo was shaped much like his own cock. I could not imagine at this point what was going on. But then suddenly I saw him insert it deep inside Gloria's twat. And all the time he kept his position with his own lovely piece deep inside Gloria's ass.
She cooed louder now and it seemed certain that she really loved being filled on both ends. I began to rub myself even harder now. I was about to climax as the situation was all so exciting. But I decided to hold off on my climax. I didn't want it all to be over so soon.
Gloria pulled her hands out of the ropes that bound her hands, as I guess they were only slightly tied. She grasped the rubber cock in her hands and as Nat thrust deeper and harder into her ass, she worked on her clitoris, then moved the piece deeper and deeper into her cunt.
"Is it good Gloria," Nat asked, as he moaned with his own delight. But Gloria could not answer, so deep was her ecstasy.
"Answer me Gloria," Nat demanded. "Is it good?"
But Gloria could not answer. She only moaned with wild delight. Nat pulled out his thick hard cock. It was wet and shimmered in the dim light. Oh God, how I had to fight with myself now not to run over to him and begin to lick what I wanted more than anything in the whole wide world.
How I wanted to take that thick hot cock deep into my mouth and really suck on it. He moved now to the front of Gloria and mounted his huge prick deep into her mouth. My incredible jealousy mounted. I wanted him. More than anything in the world I wanted him. His thrust was so deep inside her mouth that Gloria was practically chocking. At one point he had to pull out as he thought she was about to vomit. But she caught her breath and then suddenly, he was deep down inside her throat. She seemed to be taking it very well. Certainly her womanly mouth was larger and fuller than my own small child's mouth. But I had heard him say that he liked her ass tight. So I thought surely he would love my mouth.
"Suck that cock, Gloria."
She moaned with excitement. The sounds gushed and the whole scene was just terribly erotic. It was almost time for me to climax. But again I held back. I just felt that things would get more and more exciting and I wanted to come at the most exciting moment.
"Keep sucking that big fat cock of mine," Nat demanded as his hands reached underneath her tight fitting top and pulled out two large swelling tits. His fingers twisted her nipples real hard. She moaned.
"You like that, don't you."
Again, Gloria could not answer. His cock had stuffed her mouth full and he was now violently thrusting back and forth real hard. Then suddenly he pulled out. Her face was so serene and peaceful. Her large eyes were filled with love for this man who completely dominated and overwhelmed her. He took her lang hair firmly in his hand and pulled it so that her long elegant neck stretched back toward her ass.
"Do you want me to fill your ass again?"
She would not answer.
"Tell me. Don't you love it when my cock fills you up?" But again Gloria would not answer. You can not imagine what a sight she was to see with her firm ripe breasts terribly bare and the large plastic dildo still pushing inside her cunt. She must have loved the way it felt pressing hard against her clit, because she would not stop for a minute.
My Uncle Nat yanked hard now on her pubic hair. A smile came across her face. But still she refused to answer his question. It seemed quite apparent to me, although I was still young and of course very inexperienced, that Gloria loved his rough treatment and by not answering his question she knew that she infuriated him and only brought on more of his harshness.
Now there was no doubt in my mind as I had a full view of what was going on behind that curtain that Nat was really hurting her. But at the same time, there was absolutely no doubt either that Gloria relished every minute of it. Now at four years old I had already been conditioned to think that pleasure was what was most desirable. In fact, from the way it seemed to me, it was of great importance to avoid pain at all cost and to try and get as much pleasure and enjoyment out of life as was humanly possible.
So, you can well imagine that when I saw my Uncle brutally fucking Gloria's ass out and when I saw him shoving his thick sturdy cock all the way down her throat to the point where she had tears flowing down her soft pink cheeks, it was a contradiction of everything I knew to be real.
Yet, there was something about the way this strong forceful, handsome hunk of a man was overpowering this woman that really must have been exciting for both of them. Anyway, even if my mind thought all that was going on to be crazy, my own cunt was getting hotter and hotter by the minute and there was no doubt in my mind that this was about the most exciting moment in my life.
Suddenly I could almost feel a large hard object filling up my ass hole. It was just my imagination of course. I mean, there was definitely no one standing behind me. Though, let me tell you, at that point I would have given anything in the world to have a big hot prick work its way deep into my ass.
I have to admit that I felt my whole body begin to swell with incredible heat and passion. My pussy quivered.
For a minute I got this crazy idea to make my presence known. How I tried to control my mind. It was like fighting a major battle inside myself. I wanted my Uncle. I wanted his hot cock to ram inside my cunt. And even more now, I wanted that big cock to hit hard inside my ass. I was very young. But I really knew what I wanted. I didn't plan what followed. I guess you might say it was unconscious desire that suddenly broke me into a coughing spasm. At first they couldn't hear me, as the television was on so loud and they of course were so busy with each other.
I fell to the floor and my coughing would not stop. At this moment my Uncle's cock was deep inside Gloria's mouth and his back was to me. And Gloria's eyes were well buried in his groin, so it took quite some time before I got their attention. And by the time they did notice me I had stopped coughing. My hand was still inside my little panties and I was rubbing hard on my wet cunt. It's just so wonderful how free and innocent a child can be about those things. I would really think twice about a lot of things now that I'm a little older. But all I knew in that moment was that I had to come and I had to come quick or I would just die of terrible frustration.
"Oh, God." I cried, the pleasure was so great. As the wetness filled my palms, creating a lovely gushing sound, I could feel the walls of my pussy begin 'to collapse and I was in total ecstasy as the ripples of passion filled my whole being. Now it was me who was lost in the act and I could have cared less if another person was around. I tell you, I was totally oblivious to what was going on around me.
As I think back to the situation now I seem to remember more than I have ever done before. Maybe I just had blocked out a lot. But now as I tell you the story, the whole scene is coming back very vividly in my mind. And now I remember how surprised and yet, at the same time, delighted Nat and Gloria were to see me filled with passion on the living room floor. Now I remember exactly what they said to each other.
"Has she been here all this time?"
"Gosh," Gloria responded. " How could she have been. I was looking right that way before and I swear I didn't see her in the room."
"Have you been watching us?" Nat asked me. I decided to play dumb.
He got angry at this and went toward his pants that were now across the floor, only where I had been standing before, he pulled out a thick brown leather belt from the looped waist and held it in his hand. I knew what was about to happen to me. I knew well I was about to get a licking.
If this had occurred in any other situation, you know that I would have run the other way.
But something inside of me yearned to know the same ecstasy that I had seen just a short time ago on Gloria's beautiful face.
Oh, God. How I wanted his manly cock to press deep inside my asshole. How I yearned to take that big prick that hung between his manly thighs and suck on it, until my cheeks were sore.
Oh God, yes. I knew that it would be good.
But I wasn't quite certain that I was ready for the lashes of his whip. I had never allowed myself to know pain before. I was only a child and I had never been whipped.
My hot cunt began to throb again. My mind said "no, no, please don't give me pain."
But my body yearned for his lash. My soul yearned for the attention he was about to give. I couldn't stand it.
God almighty, how I wanted the touch of the brown leather-hard, hard against my thighs.
The strap came down on me and I shook with fear. Over and over again he pounded it against my ass. At first, I must say that it was just awful. I began to cry, tears dripping down my cheeks.
But I was strong and very determined to hold back my screams. And the more I retained the sounds, and managed to make the adjustment, I found that the pain was quickly turning to pleasure.
I was very brave-willing to submit myself. And I let go, so went all my fears. I felt a freedom that is very difficult to explain. I felt myself totally at his mercy, totally under his control. There was no doubt about it now. I wanted more.
Much more.
"Is her pussy wet yet?" he asked Gloria. I was so involved.
"Her juices are really flowing."
I had no idea that she was even working on my twat. But as I looked down, her mouth was firm against my hairless twat, and she was nibbling softly on my clitoris.
It was good. And now she seemed so engrossed and iappy with what she was doing. Her tongue was out far now, and she worked it, way deep, deep into my little hole. And at the same time, she began massaging her fingers, fucking my cunt with her lovely hand.
"Eeeeeew," I squealed and demanded that she move in deeper, thrusting harder and harder. My hips gyrated as she did this. There was no doubt in my mind that I was going to cum hard.
My head rolled back and my eyes shut. I was in a deep and very wonderful ecstasy.
"Harder," I moaned. "Please, do it harder."
I knew exactly what I wanted now. They were amazed by this. Gloria began thrusting her hand deep inside my twat, teasing and taunting me-bringing me to a state of wild excitement.
The juices were really gushing now. The sounds were beautiful. The fragrance was pure and erotic.
I couldn't believe that anything could feel this good.
It was the most fantastic and thrilling thing that I had ever felt.
I wanted the feeling to last forever, and ever. The joy was so fantastic that I could feel tears filling my eyes.
And I started to cry, real tears of pleasure.
The pleasure was so great I screamed.
"Oh please. Please, don't stop," I cried.
That was my only fear now. In a sense it was a bit of a distraction. Here I was, enjoying the way she was finger-fucking me. I was concentrating deeply and wonderfully on it, and then the next minute, I was so worried that she would stop, it was distracting.
Her large, pendulous breasts waved above my head. I reached out and squeezed her nipples that were taut and red.
"Lower them. Let her suck them," Nat commanded her. Nat was really fascinated by the whole new scene that we had gotten into. The tingling sensation of his whip had opened me to a new level of eroticism and I was really happy about that experience. I realized what he had done to me was not a punishment. It was a very intense form of body stimulation that had opened my being to a new level of sexuality, making me want more and more of it.
As she lowered her huge tits into my mouth, and I began to suck her hard, I heard her let out a little scream. Nat was close behind her and I realized that he had entered her asshole.
But still she was very good and conscientious about rubbing her hot hands into my wet twat. I think it was about at that moment, I came very hard and good.
Oh God, it was so fabulous. I could hardly believe it as I rested, flat on my stomach on the pale ground.
Suddenly, I felt Nat's huge cock rubbing along the line of my ass cheeks. I knew I was just about to get his special gift and I craved it in anticipation of his filling me.
"Get that mirror over here," he told Gloria.
I had no idea what he was talking about. But she was very obedient and got up and did as she was ordered to do.
"I want the kid to see what I'm doing," he said.
"You're right," she should know how beautiful it really looks when you enter her."
I realized that I was about to get a full view of what was going on behind me. I can't tell you how exciting this all was to me by now.
It was as though they had turned on the lights and instructed me to watch a porno show right in my own living room.
My whole body was tingling with fabulous delight. I came to know a deep eroticism, an appreciation for the beauty of the sex act that I may not have had if it weren't for my uncle's fabulous erotic imagination.
Gloria moved the large, full-sized mirror against the wall. Her untied ropes were still partially wrapped around her ankles. Almost as though she had read my mind, she took them off her feet and slowly, carefully bound my ankles to the ground.
Nat's cock had not penetrated deep into me yet. He was just massaging it slowly and softly along the crack. There was so much cream pouring from my twat now that it was not even necessary for him to lubricate my asshole or his cock in any way. I tilted my ass up.
Really, I was yearning for him to enter my little hole. Even if it hurt-at first, I knew for certain that it was going to be just fabulous.
Suddenly, I felt this very intense and sharp pain. I guess I blocked it out with my screams. Gloria rushed over and gagged me with her palm.
"Now, just relax," she told me.
"Eeeew, it hurts," I cried.
"If you relax, it won't."
"I can't. Please, pull it out."
"It will take only another second and you'll get used to it. You'll see how much you'll love it in another minute."
She tried to soothe me with her kisses. She even returned her hand to my twat and gently stroked my clit.
I tried with all my might to just concentrate on that. But it was no use. How could I have ever thought that Nat's huge cock could so easily slip inside my butt hole? It was impossible.
How I wished now that he would pull out, but he cared not about what I wished now. He was only out for his own pleasure.
"Oh God, this hot little ass is so damned tight," he cried as Gloria gently stroked my twat. I tried hard to concentrate on her gentle stroking, but I tell you, the pain was far too great.
"If you can just relax into it," she told me, "it will stop hurting." I heard her words but they definitely had no meaning to me. I knew that she had the answer of how to let my Uncle's big cock get deep inside of me. I wanted it rubbing deep into my ass. I knew from the memory of the look on Gloria's face that it was to be something wonderful and good.
But it seemed to me that there was some kind of a special trick to it and that perhaps I was still too young to learn it. My face was totally covered with tears. The memory of what I endured is nothing like the pain of the real thing in that moment. Words can not tell you of my terrible agony.
Then suddenly I gave up. I just decided to stop fighting the thrust of his huge cock and as I did this I guess my muscles began to relax and something really started to open up inside of me.
It was a wonderful sensation and suddenly I forgot that I had felt any pain at all. And before I knew it Nat had his big prick deeper and deeper into my ass. It was so complete a feeling and I became totally absorbed in it. It was real tight and I could feel the pulsating and the swelling of his hot flesh. What really got me excited at this point was the banging of his huge balls against my cunJ each time he thrust his cock into me.
"Oh, it's good now. It's really good," I said as I submitted to him more and more. In that moment I realized that there must be a thousand levels of submission and I was determined to know the full range. Then suddenly just as I had this thought he took me to one of these new levels. For suddenly Nat's huge rod was pounding the full range of my bowels. It was a very unusual feeling and it really did take some getting used to. But I was learning to deal with short moments of pain and I wanted more and more and more. I was so damn happy that he had such a fabulous thick rod. I didn't realize how very large he was compared to most men at the time. For as I said before, I was really very young and very inexperienced.
Gloria had removed the plastic dildo from her own wet cunt quite a while ago. I guess she wanted to share every pleasure she could think of with me. Now that I think back on it, I guess I was kind of like a little doll to them that they could play with.
"She really is enjoying that plastic cock in her twat," Gloria told Nat.
"Push it real deep. I want her to know every ecstasy."
As he said this I got so excited and started to come again. This gave off lots of muscle spasms and my ass locked against his huge cock.
"Oh God. That is so damn good. Keep doing that. Please don't stop," he begged me.
To tell you the truth, I didn't know what the hell I was doing. But I was glad that there was something I could do now to give him a little pleasure as he had been so fabulous and so good to me.
For a moment I thought he was about to pull out. To tell you the truth the thought of that terrified me. I wanted him in me forever and I begged him to stay in.
"Please, Uncle Nat, don't leave my ass. It feels so hot and so good." It was hard for me to talk because I was really so terribly overcome by his wonderful cock thrusting inside of me. And as he was doing that Gloria kept working on the meat of my wet juicy cunt that was still throbbing with the delight of a wonderful, wonderful orgasm.
"Oh, it's so good." I cried out.
"Just be quiet and enjoy it," Gloria whispered gently. I felt full and I felt complete. Then suddenly the huge cock deep inside my ass really began to pound and I knew this was it. I knew I was getting it. The pressure was so intense that it was almost painful again. But I was a lot more prepared now and I knew how to turn the pain into a delightful pleasure. Then one full blast and it was over. It felt as though a huge bomb had blasted off deep inside my ass.
He lay on top of me, holding my little body under him as I nearly drifted off to the sweetest sleep I had ever known.
"I wonder if she will ever realize how very lucky she is to come into all this at such an early age."
"Some day she'll know. I'll remind her." That was the last thing that Nat said that night to me. He carried me off to bed and gently tucked me in. I felt that I had had a special teaching. I expected that this was what would occur each and every time we met. Or at least whenever we would be alone.
But what happened was much different than what I expected. Nat never spoke of the experience again. And as for Gloria, I never saw her after that fabulous evening. Sometimes at night I try to remember every detail of the way she moved that nice rubber dildo.
Sometimes I can come just from the very thought of it. But what I remember the most is the way she taught me to submit myself in sex. And I learned from that day on that it is only through submission that a woman knows her greatest pleasure with a man.
It was very painful, as you can well imagine, never having my Uncle touch me again. Sometimes I thought of discussing the whole situation with him. But I just never knew quite what to say to him. Besides, he had married and had a couple of kids. His life seemed pretty straight and I figured he had blocked out of the past of his kinky youth. I still have dreams of his tying me up and fucking my ass all the time.
I got into a regular sex life with guys by the time I was fifteen. I guess I didn't know what I wanted. Or maybe I really did know exactly what I wanted but just couldn't get it again. I started fucking around a lot. I started to get a reputation at school. But to tell you the truth I could care less. All I wanted was to find some guy who could really dominate me. I wanted some guy who could make me feel like nothing in his arms. I wanted a large cock that would ram deep into my ass and teach me all over again how to transform pain into the greatest pleasure.
Each time I would think this is the guy. I'd go out with all these big football stars. But once they got into bed they were just little fluffs who really wanted me to dominate them. I can't tell you how sick that would make me feel. I would beg them to sodomize me, but they never even understood what I was talking about, and then when I told them I wanted them to dominate me and put their cocks up my ass, they really thought that I was some kind of a sick chick.
One day I had a talk with Tom. He's this really gorgeous macho guy I had met through my cousin Maureen. We dated a few times and came to the very same problem that I would have with all the others.
"I just can't understand you Anne," he told me. "Why would you ever want a guy to treat you rough. I mean haven't you ever heard of things like woman's lib and stuff like that? I mean it's a whole new age. Most woman don't even like men with big muscles any more."
"I know you probably think I have some kind of a psychological problem."
"To tell you the truth I really do think that there is something that is disturbing you. In fact you seem to have self destructive masochistic tendencies."
"I just knew that was what you were thinking. To tell you the truth, it took a lot of guts for me to tell you the real truth about what I really want from a man in bed. Maybe my desires are a little different than most of the woman you know. But in my opinion I feel that I am just a little more highly developed than most and I know what I need to get into a state of ecstasy."
"Well, to tell you the truth, most women I know aren't really as much into sex as they might have a guy believe. I think that most of the women I sleep with just put out because they know it's what I want. I even think that a lot of the women that I've slept with have faked orgasms."
"And you know why?"
"I'd really love to hear. That is if you're willing to tell me."
"Well, I think that one of the real big problems with most women is that they are afraid to experiment and that they are a little afraid to tell a man what they really want sexually."
"Why do you think that is?"
"I guess they're afraid of being judged."
"You mean the way I was just judging you?"
"Exactly."
"Well, listen. I apologize."
"I don't want you to do that. I just want you to be more open right now to what I'm telling you."
"Please go ahead. I'm really sorry if I judged you. But I guess I need to have some things explained to me. I don't understand a lot of things about woman, and I think I certainly can learn a great deal from you.
"What I want you to understand is that my desire to be dominated is not self destructive. It's the very nature of woman to submit to a man. And through her submission to him she comes to really experience herself the way nature meant her to, and not the way society has told her she has to be."
"I guess it's possible to be dominated in bed and be a slave but still be strong in the world."
"I guess so."
"Well, don't you know?"
"I have an idea of what a relationship like that could be. I mean, I'm sure that it must be very wonderful. But as yet I haven't met a man, at least not in recent years who can really dominate me in bed."
"You say, not in recent years. Does that mean you once knew of a guy who could make you feel that way?"
"I guess so, but I'd rather not talk about that now."
Tom started to kiss me. . Suddenly he grabbed my body in his arms. I guess he was trying to be manly and passionate and forceful.
But I think he was trying too hard and it just wasn't coming off right. I went home early and it was the last time we went out.
It was about a week later that I was walking alone in the Park. I suddenly got this fabulous fantasy about meeting a man who would take me into the bushes and force me into submission. God, how hot and excited I suddenly began to feel. Just the thought of someone making me get to my knees to suck his cock was enough to make me lay right down on the grass, pull down my panties and jeans and begin to masturbate until I came nice and hard.
I started to feel real hot and I could tell that my pants were now sticky wet. Oh God I wanted it. I wanted right there and then. I lowered my eyes to my chest and saw how hard my nipples and become. No one was around so I raised my hand and squeezed one of my nipples that was yearning to be sucked. Then I squeezed the other taut nipple. It felt incredibly good.
I saw that there was absolutely no one around and I decided to take the chance of going into the thick bushes to relieve my desires. The yearning was tremendous. The idea of rape was such a powerful and such an exciting fantasy that it was totally overpowering.
I walked into the thick bushes and took a seat on the hard ground. Slowly I slipped out of my skin tight jeans. I was right. My panties were sopping wet. I dipped my fingers into my honey pot. I could not believe the way the wonderful juices were flowing now.
I worked my fingers around my clitoris. It felt wonderful. Then I slowly moved several fingers a little deeper into my twat. I could feel the wonderful pulsations of the wet flesh. How very hot I was and how my cunt was throbbing. I yearned to be filled. I wanted to be filled deeply by a firm hard cock. I wanted a firm hard cock to be inside my ass at the same time. All I could think of was two large hot cock pushing inside of me from either end of me. I wanted all my holes filled as the juices were gushing all over.
If only two men with as lusty thoughts as mine would suddenly appear. I tried to imagine this as the whole idea served to excite me more and I wanted to see just how deep into ecstasy. I could possibly get myself to go. My pussy was hot and wet. I was burning up inside in a way I had never known before. I kept fantasizing about these two men, just hoping that they would appear. I imagined them suddenly eyeing me playing with my hot cunt. This vision I knew would turn them on incredibly. Then I realized that this was the only way I would get the satisfaction I had yearned for, for so many years.
Then suddenly I had a wonderful insight into the reason why I was never able to get any of my boyfriend to respond in the way I really wanted them to. I figured that their problem was that they were too afraid of their image. They were much too afraid of my thinking that they were animals at heart. But if I could meet someone who didn't know me and who I didn't know then as strangers we could do anything we wanted without the fear of what we would think of each other later on.
Just as I had figured that out two men appeared. They were about eighteen or twenty with real good builds. You would think they had smelled my pussy the way they were entering the little path into the bushes. It was as though I had sent out a radar signal and they had come to answer.
I knew what I had to do now to make my fantasy really come true. I knew I had to pretend that I didn't know they were there. With my legs wide open and just my panties and jeans wrapped around my ankles, I threw my head back so that they wouldn't know that I had seen them. But first I decided to lift up my shirt to expose my full breasts.
Even when I was doing this I was wondering how I had the gut to go through with it all.
But if you can possibly understand how repressed I have been for so many many years, maybe then you will understand why I felt I had to do this. I think my biggest fear in that moment was that perhaps I would be unnoticed. Or that perhaps they would not have the guts to follow through with what I wanted more than anything in the whole world.
Oh Lord. Do you see what I see?" I heard one of the boys say to the other. He had a beautiful French accent, although he spoke perfect English.
"Do you think, perhaps, we're seeing things?" said the other.
"Well there's only one way to find out for sure," they said as they came closer to my now trembling body. Meanwhile I continued to rub on my throbbing cunt. How I yearned to have myself totally filled. I decided to pretend that I did not know what was going on.
It was all so terribly unreal. But then there was something about it all that was one of the most real things of my whole existence. In a seconds time they had lifted me up and pulled me very close. I looked down and saw the full erection of the boy in front of me. At the same time I could feel the other's cock moving slowly, gently into my ass. It was the most fabulous feeling in all the world as he slowly moved deeper and deeper into my ass. For only about a moment I wanted to scream. But then I decided to myself. I remembered how to transform the pain into pleasure and wasn't about to make a noise that might scare these two guys away.
They wrapped their arms around my waist, both holding me very close. My mind stopped totally and I submitted my whole being to them. Instantly I began to climax. The feeling of intense muscle spasms deep inside my cunt was the most marvelous and satisfying sensation of my life. The pressure of the two cocks jamming together inside of me was just fabulous. Suddenly they pulled out. I feared that they were finished. But when I looked down I saw that both still had large hard ons. The one who had been standing in front of me, pushed me to my knees and made me take his huge throbbing cock deep inside my mouth.
"Suck that big hard cock," he demanded of me. It was just the way my Uncle had said it to me and I fell wonderful and complete. His cock was really fat and filled my mouth completely. The tip was as round as an apple and I just loved the taste of his delicious flesh. He pushed inside of me with a real intense urgency and it made me feel real good that he was getting off on what I was doing to him with my hands I caressed his balls they felt cool and wonderful and very, very large.
"Use those hands, bitch," he demanded. So I wrapped my fingers around the stem of his cock and pumped it as I sucked. This really seemed to delight him tremendously now and I noticed that he reached a new length quite suddenly.
"Oh, God that feels fabulous." He cried softly in French. I only wished I understood his words. But I knew that what he was saying was flattering and that he really loved the way his big prick felt deep inside my mouth. Suddenly he began to thrust to the point where he was nearly stuffing his piece all the way down my throat. That too reminded me of when I had that fabulous time with my Uncle and served to excite me more and more.
"Ah, don't stop," the boy cried in English.
"But I want to get my cock up her ass," the other said, working on his hard piece now with his own hands.
So what they did was to lift me up again, this time the one who had it up my ass was now deep inside my cunt. I think his prick was the larger of the two and I must say that it felt very good and wonderful.
When the other one entered into my ass. it really wasn't too painful at all, as I had already accustomed myself to the entry. Again they started to pound, as the one in the rear reached for my nipples and started to pull on them. I can't begin to tell you how fabulous that felt. I must say that I felt as though I was the most complete and satisfied woman in the whole world.
They both suddenly began to scream and I realized that they were coming. They were throbbing and pulsating and it all felt extremely delightful. How I had wished that it would never end. That this wonderful feeling could have all gone one for ever. I have to admit that I was extremely exhausted. Several hours later I woke up from a deep sleep. For a second I had trouble remembering exactly what had just happened to me.
It seemed like some kind of a fabulous dream. But when I dipped my hand into my slightly sore ass, and then into my still wet pussy, I knew it was for real. Yes, in that moment I felt like the luckiest woman in all the world. Then all of a sudden I got depressed to see these two fabulous lovers again. And if even, by chance I were to meet them on the street I could be certain that they would pretend to never know me.
So, you can see that the only choice I had was to continue with what I had found to be most satisfying. That is how my desire for rape got started. I can't say that I really want to stop. I find it to be a thrilling and satisfying experience. I have never testified against any rapist. But unfortunately, there have been several situations where they made such noise about the whole thing that, unfortunately, they attracted a lot of attention. I've been raped many times and we've never been caught. The odds really aren't that bad and I'll tell you the truth. I'm willing to take my chances as the satisfaction is very great.
Now, I don't know for sure if what I've just told you explains anything about submission in women. But as I had mentioned to you before, all women are different. I can only tell you about my own particular needs and how I resolved them. But I think that what's important here is that I did manage to find a way to resolve these needs. At least until the time when I can find a man who is not ashamed of dominating me into submission the way I would really like it to be done.
CONCLUSION
Though I find it hard not to think of her in masochistic terms, she has helped to convince me that the desire to submit is a natural tendency in women Hopefully she will soon be able to link up with another consenting adult so that she does not have to expose herself to the dangers of rape with men she does not know. I did manage to convince her of the dangerous position she is allowing for herself and explained that there are situations that she is exposing herself to that she may not be ready to handle. On the whole, however, I think that this young woman is very much in touch with her own sexuality and I always find that to be a sign of great mental health. I tried hard to encourage this and hope that my warnings of precaution will not put a damper on her fabulous fantasies.
CASE HISTORY TWO
SUBJECT: JAN R. AGE: Thirty
INTERVIEW ONE
Jan came to see me shortly after her third miscarriage. When the hospital discovered that they were a result of weekly beatings she was getting from her husband, they referred her to me for help.
Jan is an extremely attractive woman with rather high intelligence. She was smartly dressed in a tweed suit. Her hair was cut sort in a conservative bob and her make-up was carefully applied. She did not seem at all the type to engage in kinky sexual practices, such as the activities elaborated upon by the hospital. Nor did I think she was one willing to endure an unhappy marriage. So I was really quite interested to hear what her story was.
My husband, Jason, and I were married in college. Both of us were virgins and didn't know a thing about sex. It wasn't that we had a particularly religious background or anything like that. It was just that most upper middle class girls, like me, from my generation were all indoctrinated with the idea of purity.
I'll admit that there probably is something very beautiful about saving one's self for one man. But there's something even more important about really getting in touch with sexual desires.
It was only a few years ago that I found out what I really wanted in the bedroom. And that was to be totally dominated by a man. Poor Jason was so damn afraid to let go with me. I guess he always thought of me as a proper lady at all times.
He tried to treat me with what he called respect. The truth of the matter was that in my heart I yearned to be dominated so that I could really surrender. I guess I really knew all this deep in my heart but was always much to inhibited to explain to him. The truth of the matter was that I really didn't know just how to explain. I mean what can you say. As far as I was concerned, and I am sure as far as Jason was concerned, he was doing the best that he possibly could. And I have to say that wasn't bad. I mean he got it up once a day and sometimes he was good for a quickie in the morning. I thought I had every reason in the world to feel complete and satisfied. God. I mean what more is a woman supposed to want. Here Jason was making lots of money. We had a house in the country, an apartment in the city and a Mercedes in the driveway.
But all of a sudden I was really starting to feel very incomplete. It was almost as though there was something I hungered for, but couldn't quite put my finger on it. In fact I started to put on a little weight. But I'm so damn vain about my figure that I took it right off. Maybe if I could have allowed myself a few good eating binges and even put on a few extra pounds I would have been able to suppress it. It was a period of terrible confusion for me. I felt alone and sullen and tried to hide it from Jason. But he saw right through my act and was kind and direct enough to confront me with the situation.
"I know that there's something going on with you lately. You seem to be going through a lot of changes."
"I didn't think you knew."
"I have to admit that you've done a pretty good job of hiding it. You really are a good actress. But I've known you long enough to know when you're down. Is it something you might want to talk about?"
"Oh Gosh, Jason. I don't know what to say. It's this incredible feeling of incompleteness inside of me."
"Maybe you should go out and get a job."
"I'm pretty busy with all my organizations, and...."
"Now don't think I'm pressuring you to go out and make money. Besides, that would only put us in another income bracket and we'd end up paying more taxes. But what I'm really concerned about here is seeing that your days be filled with more satisfaction."
"I'll tell you Jason. I'm at a real loss. I just don't know what it is. I don't think it's a career thing. For a while I thought perhaps we should have a child. But I don't even think it's that."
Jason and I started to discuss the idea of raising a child, a problem separate from my own feeling of incompleteness. We came to the conclusion that if we were to have a family that we'd better get started soon. Well we did get started soon. I will never forget the beautiful night of my first conception.
There was something so fabulously special about that night. I bathed for hours in the finest oils. My whole body felt tranquil and relaxed. And when I lay beside my husband on the satin sheets I felt safe and terribly secure. He kissed my body from head to toe and concentrated for a long time on my pussy. I just loved the way he gave that part of me such careful attention. He explored my hole gently with his hand while I rubbed his cock softly. When it was nice and hard he inserted it deep into my cunt as he gently rubbed my breasts in the palm of his hands.
Oh God. Jason used to be so careful with me. You'd think I was some kind of a China doll that was about to break. I thought it was good sex. He knew lots of little tricks, like how to blow softly in my ear, how to nibble on my firm breasts. I felt a few muscle spasms go off deep inside my cunt. I called that an orgasm. Not very intense. But I never knew better. I had read in all these woman's magazines about multiple orgasms and things like that. But I pretty much figured that everyone had what I was getting and that I was getting whatever deep erotic passion I figured that was all in porno books and that it had nothing at all to do with real life.
Things went on like that for a very long time. I got over the first miscarraige just fine. I guess it wasn't a great disappointment to me as I really didn't want kids at that time. I guess that what I did want, more than anything in the world was to find myself and feel complete before I brought another human being into the world.
That's what I thought about.
Well, I guess I should get right to the point of the story and tell you about how I got raped by Dan, the delivery man. Sounds funny doesn't it. I mean I can talk about it now so matter-of-factly. But I guess it's a real cop out for me to say that I raped Dan. I have to admit that I was unconsciously looking to get it from a rough tough macho man. I think deep in my heart I wanted to meet up with a heavy dude who could rip my ass apart, Maybe that sounds like pretty heavy talk from a lady. But I take responsibility for everything that happened and I'm beginning to see how I created my own reality.
Dan is an eighteen year old kid who could pass for a thirty year old man. If I had to use one word to describe him I'd say erotic. I remember the first time I saw him at the supermarket. All I can say is that my pussy suddenly felt that it was on fire. I got this urgent throbbing deep inside my cunt. All I could think of was going home to masturbate. I didn't even want to be with Jason that night.
There is something so wild and primitive about Dan. I can't say I ever went for his type. You know the dark swarthy good looks and the huge muscles under a sweaty T-shirt. I guess you could kind of call him a greaser type. At least that's what we call those primitive, sexy looking guys in high school. High class girls were never supposed to guy out with street dudes. No, no. You have to marry someone who is refined and proper so that you can both resign your life to the right social class and club for the rest of your life. Hot passion as I said, before had nothing to do with respectability and it was better left repressed.
But when I saw Dan there was something inside me that would not allow me to repress my feelings. Suddenly I knew exactly what I was hungry for. I guess you could make a joke of it and say I found it at the A&P.
For the first time in years I had my groceries delivered. You can't imagine how disappointed I was when it turned out to be some creepy looking kid who showed up at my door instead of Dan.
I went out early, very early, the very next day and bought all kinds of things I really didn't need, just with the hope that possibly Dan would show up. To tell you the truth I had no idea what I was going to do once he arrived. I mean I've never even slept with anyone but my husband, no less seduced a strange guy. But something in me said that it wouldn't take much coaxing. All I had to do was try and remember the sexy look of yearning he gave me when his eyes first met mine. Gosh, just the thought of that is enough to send shivers up my spine.
Well, finally Dan arrived. He must have gone through all this before. I mean, he must have a woman in every apartment building in the city. Because he was as smooth as silk. He knew all his lines and I don't think I had a moment of feeling awkward or uncomfortable.
He was real clever. What he did was drop a box of eggs on the floor. You know, accidentally on purpose. I loved it the way he was so anxious to pick it up.
"You're a very pretty lady," he told me. My body started to tremble.
"Hey. Are you nervous or something? I mean your hands are shaking. Are you sure you're alright?"
His awareness of me made me shake more. I was growing frightened now that I had no control over the situation. I felt like this little child with a much older man. Yes, he was old. I guess you could say that he was older in experience. You know, street sense. Anyway, I guess it was only a second after that his large hands touched the back of my neck and his soft mustached mouth touched my open mouth. His tongue forced deeply into my mouth and I think I lost my breath.
As I told you I had felt this deep eroticism for him from the first. But when he touched me that was it. Yes, what I was looking for I knew I found, especially when I dipped my hand instinctively down into his hot crotch and felt his hard erection. I unzipped his fly and took his huge piece into my hand. Then suddenly he pushed me to the floor. I took his throbbing hard cock and filled my mouth with it.
"Suck me!" he commanded. I sucked and sucked. My mouth was sore and tired, but still I sucked as I wrapped my hands around the stem of his awesome cock. Then suddenly he pulled out. His cock was wet and slick from the juices of my mouth.
"Take all your clothes off," he said firmly. I did exactly as he instructed, but leaving modestly for the other room.
"Get back here," he ordered. "Take them off in front of me."
We were in the living room by now and you have to understand that all the shade were opened.
"Can I just shut the shades?" I asked.
"I told you to take off your clothes. You'll do it with the shades open. What's the matter Mrs. Jones? Are you afraid that the neighbors will try to keep up with you?"
I did as he instructed and saw the look of pleasure that appeared on his handsome face.
"Yeah, your body is in good shape," he muttered to himself as he pulled his cock. His jeans slipped down his muscular legs. It was incredible anatomy. I don't think I've ever been so excited about a man's body ever in my life. I wanted to touch the rippling muscles with my hands, but I knew full well it was not I who was allowed to make the first move.
There was no doubt about it. He was master of the situation and I loved it like that..
He told me to sit down on the couch and part my legs. I never questioned what he was telling me. , The soft velvet felt good. But I was a little worried about my pussy juices dripping on my expensive furniture. But this was not the time to think about things like that. Here I was having the experience of my life. All that I had imagined was now beginning to happen. I can only tell you that I can not remember ever feeling more lust and excitement ever in my life.
It was wonderful the way my breasts were swelling with excitement. It was true that my body trembled, but this was not from fear. It was pure passion.
Dan's eyes filled with my image. It gave me great pleasure to feel that he was enjoying the sight of me.
"You really are a very beautiful lady," he said again as he continued rubbing on that gorgeous cock of his. I knew what I wanted. I knew that I wanted to take him into my mouth and suck him all over again. I yearned for that hot cock deep inside my mouth like I had never yearned for anything before.
Dan went over to the door and locked it from inside with the chain. It was the middle of the afternoon, but I guess he knew his business and wasn't going to take any chances. Who knew if Jason could be coming home. Things like that do happen. And perhaps that was what made the situation all that more exciting.
He passed by me now. I wanted to reach out and hold his hot flesh in my hand. I was going crazy with excitement and desire. It was as though there was nothing else in all the world that mattered to me now. It was like his hot cock and my throbbing wet pussy were the only things that were real, the only things that mattered in all the world. There was this feeling of magnetic pull between us that made me know we had to get it on and we had to get it on quick. The pain of separation was becoming unbearable. The space of three feet between us seemed like miles. I wanted him so bad I thought I would scream.
I almost did.
But Dan had already made himself comfortable in the seat across from me. He seemed to be in no special rush to ram his cock into me. It was only turning me on more the way he was so quiet and calm and so very much in control of the situation. He stroked his cock. It must have been at least eight or nine inches long by now. I don't think I've ever seen a hot cock that big. I guess having been a virgin and all before I was married and only knowing Jason, I figured all men were rather average in size. And it's not that I really think that size matters in the long run, but it's just so especially erotic to see a man with a big long cock playing with himself.
Well, as I said before, he sure was taking his good time about it all. But there was no doubt in my mind that he was enjoying himself just watching me sitting naked. I have to admit that I felt a bit uptight next to him and I almost envied the way he seemed so cool and calm.
Anyway, we sat like that for only a few minutes. But it seemed like an eternity before we spoke. Finally he did say something. I heard the words, but I guess what he said was so shocking to me that I blocked out the meaning and asked him to repeat it again.
"I want to see you play with yourself," he had said.
"I'm sorry. I don't think I understand."
"Come on. Don't be inhibited. I want to see you rub your hot pussy."
"Right in front of you?" I guess I sounded shocked. But here I had the guts to go as far as sitting naked with a man I didn't know right in my own living room, with the possibility of my husband, or anyone else for that matter walking right through the front door and that wasn't making me nervous. So I really saw no reason not to follow through with the little game.
"Come on," he coaxed again. "You don't have to be shy with me. I'd really enjoy watching you make yourself feel good."
There was something so beautiful and kind about the way he had said that. Suddenly he had put me very much at ease. Actually my pussy was hot and throbbing and it really wanted some attention.
When I dipped my hand into my cunt I found that it was wet. In fact it was wetter than I had ever known it before. I could feel the hot juices begin to soak down into the green velvet couch. And to tell you the truth I couldn't give a damn. I figured the hell with worrying about things like that. This was the experience that I had long waited for and I wasn't going to ruin it worrying about a stain on the green velvet couch.
I began to rub on my clit. It was really hard.
"How do you feel," Dan asked.
"Good. Real good," I told him.
In a moment I was lost in my own ecstasy. Everything became blocked out. I felt very serene. Very calm. It was like we were lovers now for many years and being with him was the most natural thing in all the world.
"Twist your nipples," he told me. I did exactly as he said. There was this great desire I had to please this boy. Actually I shouldn't call Dan a boy because he was more of a man than people twice his age. Something inside of me wanted to surrender to him, emotionally and physically as well.
My eyes were shut and my head was leaned back. I did not even feel him fasten me to the couch. It took a long time before I realized that I could not move my arms or my legs. But I think I liked it that way. Yes there is no doubt in my mind now that I think back on it all that seeing the rope binding me was one of the greatest turn ons in my life.
I guess maybe now as I tell you this story you may think that I'm not telling the full truth about the feelings I had in the moment. It probably seems a little hard to understand that one could suddenly be bound by a total stranger and yet feel so comfortable in the situation. But that is exactly what makes it all so incredible. And I guess that is the reason that Dan is so special. I mean it's not like he hypnotized me or made me do anything against my will. It's just that he has this real calming way about him. And even more than that, he's so direct and honest about his sexuality that he makes you feel the same way.
I looked up at him and smiled.
"You look pretty pleased," he said twisting my nipples.
"Do you read minds?"
"What do you mean."
"Well, this is all crazy. But getting bound up like this has always been one of my biggest fantasies."
He was sucking on my breasts now. He was so engrossed in what he was doing, and he was enjoying it so much that I'm quite certain that he didn't hear a word I said. Nor do I really think he cared so much about what kinds of fantasies I had been having over the past year.
But to me it was just wonderful and I almost felt as though I had imagined something like this for so long that it actually manifested into a reality. All I can tell you is that nothing ever felt as wonderful and good in all my life.
His hands were in my wet cunt now. The juices were squishing. I looked down and the very sight of his big rough hands inside of me was enough to make me come.
"No one has ever touched me like that."
"Come on," he said, as though he didn't believe me.
"Really, I'm telling you the truth."
"Aren't you married," he asked me now.
"Of course I am," I said rather matter-of-factly.
"Well, don't you get it on with him?"
"Yes. But it's not the same." I stopped to feel the pulsations going on inside of me.
"What do you mean it's not the same." I knew he knew the answer to that. Surely he must have had lots of married women just like myself who were bored and frustrated in their marriages. Did I have to answer his question, I thought to myself. Most probably he wanted to hear more to get an ego boost, to make his big cock even harder than it was.
"Sure we get it on. And sure there are times when it's real good. I mean after ten years of marriage it can get pretty comfortable. You get to understand each other's bodies pretty well and you learn all the techniques to make them happy. But there's more to life than good technique."
I could tell from Dan's expression that he loved hearing every word of what I was saying. It flattered him too I guess. But now he put his hand over my mouth. He had heard enough. I had spoken more than I probably should have. It was the end of patter and polite talk. If I knew what I was in for, there is no doubt in my mind that I would have turned back. There is no doubt that if I knew what he was to put me through and how he was to take me past all limits in this short session we had together now that I would scream and fight and do everything in my power to get under his clutches.
As I had explained before, there was this very definite and very strong desire in me to submit to Dan. And I feel quite sure that that was a basic need that I had in my marriage that I just wasn't getting. I mean with Jason there was nothing to submit to. I mean, he was always mild, gentle and considerate. Sure that's great for a roommate. But it makes for a pretty boring lover.
Dan's hand rested against my lips for almost a moment.
"Now just relax. I want you to know that anything I do to you over the next hour is only for your own pleasure. Now if I do anything that seems unusual or strs lge to you, I don't want you to get worried. O.K.?"
With a look in my eyes I consented. And still I was not frightened. He spoke in such a soft obliging tone. There seemed to be nothing in the world to be frightened about. And as he had said, it would be done only for my own pleasure.
"Now I want you to forget that you are your husband's wife. I want you to forget that you are your parent's daughter. In a few moments you will know yourself as a real woman."
He stroked my long blond hair that reached just below my pink nipples. Then gently, carefully, he held my tits and his hands and told me again how much he loved them. His touch was so delicate right now that in my wildest dreams I could not imagine what he had in store for me.
Dan reached out of his back pocket and pulled out a red handkerchief. He put his hand on my neck, giving my whole body goose bumps. "Now, open wide-wide," he told me sweetly, almost as though he was speaking to a young child. I can't begin to tell you how gentle and kind he was to me in these moments.
I opened my mouth for him.
"Careful now," he said as he stuffed the dry cloth into my mouth. As I tell you this now I wonder how I could ever possibly allow anyone to do such a thing to me. But there was no doubt in my mind that all that was being done to me was only for erotic reasons. I had no fear that Dan would rob or really hurt me. I had absolutely no fear of death. In fact that was one thing that never even entered into my mind. I don't know where all the faith and all the trust came form. Maybe you think I was just a fool, or emotionally ill. But what I want you to know is that what happened seemed natural and good and completely healthy at the time.
Now I can't say that I enjoyed having that dirty rag stuffed into my mouth. And I certainly did not like it when he took his long wool muffler and tied that around to really seal my mouth shut. But again, I knew that what was to follow was totally for my sexual development.
Even if my mind had said no to what was happening to me, I have to say that my body was saying yes. My tits were hard and taut as he gave them one last suck before he began turning me over.
"Now what I'm going to do to you is going to hurt at first. But if you trust me it's going to be wonderful for you."
"I had absolutely no idea of what he was talking about now. All I knew was that he had me on my knees with my body arched over the couch. He stood behind me. His large beautiful cock was out of view. I guess I missed the sight of it. I wanted to hold it. I wanted to suck on it and feel it deep inside my mouth. But even more I wanted him to thrust it hard into my cunt.
"Ah, good. You're really very wet, " he said as his hands dipped deep into my pussy.
All I could do was moan. My mouth was gagged and there was no way of answering him. But if I could say anything at all I would have said how much I wanted to feel his large cock thrust deep inside of me. For a second there was a feeling of frustration that I was unable to speak these words to him. But the strange thing is that suddenly I understood the thrill of being tied and gagged like this. I realized that I was totally free to be passive. Now I know that may seem like a real contradiction to you. But I'm telling you that's the way it seemed to me.
"Oh Shit, are you wet," he said as he kept rubbing harder on my twat. I kept thinking that I wanted him to hit hard inside of me. I kept thinking now how I wanted to come like I've never come before. But somehow I just could not get myself to let go.
In fact, that is exactly what my problem has been all along. I know I've taken a long time to get to what my real problem is. I guess I don't like to talk about being frigid much. It seems I just cringe when I hear the word. To tell you the truth it makes me feel like a real failure.
I guess you're wondering why I never talked to Jason about it. Well, the truth of the matter is that would be impossible. You see ever since we first made love I've been faking it. What I mean is, I'd make a little maon like I was satisfied. I figured that's what most woman do after they come. I've even told friends that I've had multiple orgasms. I guess it got to a point where I was even believing my own lies. And maybe that has a lot to do with why I have been feeling so unsatisfied for so many years.
Anyway, here I was in the midst of real erotic heat. I have this hunk finger fucking me real hard just the way I love it. And still I can't seem to come. I started to cry at that point. I guess I was just started to feel sorry for myself at this point. Dan couldn't hear my crying because of the gag around my mouth. But the tears were really starting to flow heavily down my cheeks.
Then, all of a sudden, Dan pulled his fingers swiftly out of my twat and began to massage my asshole. Now, I have never in my life thought the asshole to be a very erotic part of the body. But what he was doing started to feel pretty good. Then he started fingering my ass just the way he was doing with my cunt. I started to relax as the muscles started opening up. Dan moved his fingers deeper and deeper. It was a real pleasant feeling. But I guess the best part of all was the fact that I didn't feel any pressure to come. I could just shut my eyes and relax, feeling the pleasant sensation around my anus.
The I felt his hot prick beginning to press hard against my ass. I realized at once that he had big plans for that cock of his and that he wanted to get it into my tight little asshole. All of a sudden all the muscles of my body tightened up.
"Now just relax. I told you this won't hurt if you just stay calm and trust me." The sound of his voice was so calm and mellow. I felt a real confidence in what he said. Yet, at that same time I was very nervous and my body was trembling.
"Now I told you to relax," he said again. This time his voice was stronger, more commanding. There was a quality about it that was overpowering. And for some reason it was really turning me on.
My body was still trembling. There was absolutely nothing I could do to get myself to calm down. I wished I could get a Librium or even a quick drink, but there was no way to express my needs in that moment.
Suddenly I felt him smack my behind. My flesh stung. He did it again. This time harder. All I could think of was the pain of my burning ass, as his strong hand hit me over and over again.
Strange as it may seem the burn of his slap started to feel good as I began to concentrate only on that. Again the tip of his prick pushed against my asshole and again I felt very frightened. I wanted him to teach me how to do it. But I just couldn't surrender that easily.
Then all of a sudden I realized that was exactly what I had to do. I had to surrender to him. Oh, God. I understood it so well f intellectually in my mind, but how could I get my own body to respond to what I knew in my heart as well.
The tip of his cock felt firm and full as it pressed into my asshole. The pain was excruciating. I began to scream. Suddenly I realized exactly why he had gagged me. For sure, he knew the pain I was in store for. This was the pain he said I would have to endure to know the great pleasure that was ahead.
"Relax," he demanded.
Oh God. He made it sound so easy. I tried hard to catch my breath.
"Take some deep breaths. I did as he commanded and started feeling better. But what really did it was when I told myself to surrender psychologically to this man. All I can say is that I accepted him totally as my master, being. I wish I could have more ways to explain what went on in my mind. But it was such a simple process that all I can really say is that I began to feel like his .subservient slave. As soon as I stopped fighting what was going on inside my ass, my whole body opened up to him. It was a wonderful feeling of ease as the pain left me.
Soon I realized how complete and full I felt. Soon I realized that what was going on was extremely wonderful.
"Oh God, your ass is good to me." It thrilled me that I was able to give him so much pleasure. He reached his long arm around to the front of me and started playing with my wet hungry pussy lips. Then he felt for my clit and started rubbing hard on it as he kept sliding his big fat cock in and out of my willing asshole.
All I know is that all of a sudden I was screaming hard and loud. This time my screams were not from pain, but rather from intense pleasure. Yes, I'm glad to say I finally came. And it was really very wonderful.
INTERVIEW TWO
Jan returned to my office for a second session several weeks later. I have to admit that she looked like a new woman. She was very tanned and her face was sparkling with a broad smile. I was anxious to get on with our interview so that I could find out what exactly was giving her so much pleasure.
I can't tell you how happy I am that I came and discussed my situation with you. The fact that you responded to me without being at all critical or judgmental really helped me to open up and to incorporate the experience I had with Dan in a very positive and healthy way.
You see, what I realized, after speaking to you about my little extra-marital affair was that there was nothing to feel guilty about if I could look upon it as a positive experience that would get me much more in touch with my emotions, and, of course, my own sexuality-which it did.
Anyway, what I decided to do was to tell Jason about the whole thing. We were in bed one night, shortly after I had met with you.
"You seem very unresponsive tonight, Darling," he told me in his usual, but rather weak way. Here he was doing what he always did and it took me all these years to figure it out. You see, he would always play it so that I seemed to be the one who was not interested in sex. The truth of the matter is that Jason is such a damn milk toast that it's very easy not to be interested at all. I reached my hand over to his half limp cock and pulled on it a little.
It was as though I was making an attempt to show him that I was a dutiful wife and that I would do my part to help him get his cock up. I mean it's his cock. Why should the pressure be on me to get him up all the time. I started to realize that maybe Jason had the problem, not I.
And of course, after having been with a strong aggressive man like Dan who gave me the domination I really needed and who totally satisfied me in every way, I realized that it was essential that Jason make a change in his whole attitude toward me or we just were not going to be able to stay together.
"Jason, I think we have something to discuss," I told him. I guess he could tell from the tone of my voice that I didn't have particularly good news for him. I could feel his cock go totally limp now. I decided to take my hand away.
"Now what," he said as though I was going to show him a bill. "Does it have anything to do with money," he wanted to know right away.
For a moment I figured that might be the crux of our problems. Not that we didn't have plenty of money. It was just that that was where we were putting all our thoughts.
"Is that all you ever think about?"
"Now you're complaining. I make all this possible," he said indignantly.
"You make all what possible," I answered back, now sitting up in bed.
"I make it possible for you to ride around all day in a Mercedes and do what ever you damn please."
That made me mad, real mad. I can't stand having him throw things up in my face.
"Well, that's what I've been doing," I said, "whatever I damn please."
"And what is that supposed to mean."
"Are you telling me you're having an affair?"
"Yes, I am," I said real cool.
I couldn't help getting back at him a little. I guess too, what I was trying to get back at him about was not so much the fact that he threw up that he was supporting me. I think I wanted to do something to create some kind of a reaction. As I said before, Jason was always so mild and calm and very unexciting.
My plan worked. He got up in a rage and started throwing things around the room. And then, "You fucking whore. All these years I trusted you with my life, my money...."
"Is that all you think about?"
"Well, I give a shit about you, Jason."
This was an important confrontation - perhaps the most important one we had had.
"You're more to me than that. I don't know why you even come up with things like that."
"Because it's true, Jason. That's why."
"Then would you mind telling me just why you did it?"
"I don't know. It just happened."
"Those things don't just happen. They're thought out a little more than that. And if you thought we were having a sexual problem or if there was some reason why I wasn't exciting you any more, which seems to be the case, then why didn't you just sit down and discuss it with me."
"Look, Jason. For a long time I've known that there was something bothering me. I just couldn't admit to it. I mean I was so out of touch with my own emotions that I never knew what to tell you."
Here I was trying to explain to him and the truth of the matter was that now I was just stalling for time because I didn't know what the hell to tell him now. How can you tell your husband who you have been making love to for the last ten years, at least every day of the week, sometimes twice or three times a day, that you really were never into his sexual style?"
I mean, is he suddenly supposed to change his act right in midstream. Even if I said, look Jason, I love you very much. You are a very dear and wonderful man who has shown me every consideration in the world. In fact, Jason you have shown me too much consideration. What I'd really like is for you to be tough and demanding and make me into your submissive slave. Gosh, do you think Jason, or any man for that matter could ever comprehend what I was saying.
So, I continued on talking a lot of nonsense because I knew if I stopped at that point he'd have me back to a shrink. And you could be sure that Jason would be the one to choose the shrink. Someone he could be sure would side with him. It was a mess and I was only getting myself deeper and deeper into it.
"Look, Hon," I finally said. "Why don't we just drop the whole issue."
"Oh great. You want to drop the issue when it's convenient for you. But it wasn't so convenient for me to hear that you fucked around with some kid. And who was this guy anyway?"
"Oh, just some delivery boy from the grocery store."
"Ha ... just some delivery boy," he said mocking me. "Well isn't that adorable. Now he can come to see you when he's off from school. Delightful. Just delightful."
"You don't have to be so sarcastic about it."
"Oh, what do you want me to do. Give you a nice big kiss on the cheek and tell you that you're a good little girl for fucking around behind my back?"
"Well haven't you ever had an affair. I mean most men do."
"Why do you assume most men have affairs behind their wive's backs?" For some reason I sensed that Jason was hedging. Maybe because I knew that I was too.
"I don't know," I said. "I guess I kind of assume that it's not natural for men to be monogamous."
"Well, I am, in a sense."
"What does that mean. Come on Jason, let me hear the truth. This is the night to let it all hang out."
"Well, if you really want to know the truth...."
"Of course I do." I tried to get myself ready for this. I knew it was going to be heavy."
"Well, the truth is that I have been seeing someone on the side."
My heart dropped. I was stunned. "I thought you just told me that you're not having an affair." I thought I'd burst out in tears. It all seemed so terribly unfair to me. I just couldn't believe my ears. The fact that I had had one little session with Dan seemed unimportant and irrelevant. Here he was seeing someone on the side, regularly and he didn't have the guts to face the truth and call it an affair."
"Well, if seeing someone on the side is not an affair, then do you mind telling me just what it is."
"It's not an affair, because I'm not in love with her."
"Well, doesn't that make it worse?"
"I don't understand you dear."
"Well, it's not only unfair to me, but it's very unfair to the woman you're with."
"No, no. You don't seem to understand. You see the woman I see is a professional of sorts."
This was the limit for me. I just couldn't face the reality of the situation. I tried to block the whole thing out.
"I see a hooker regularly."
"But I thought you enjoyed sex with me."
"Of course I do, darling."
"Then why do you have to see her?"
"Well, there are things I can do with Bella that I can't do with you."
"That's disgusting." Now I was furious. 'You see, you don't even know what we do and already you're calling it disgusting."
"Well, I think it's just awful that you'd fool around with someone that you don't even love when you have a great sex life with your wife. And besides, I've always been open to do anything. You've just never suggested anything to me."
"I guess that's because I've always been-afraid of offending you or turning you off to me.
"The only thing that really turns me off is your passivity. I just can't stand your being so gentle and so careful with me. I swear, Jason, : you treat me like a China doll, afraid I'll break."
"But I thought that's how you always wanted it. I mean you always came, didn't you?"
"I detect a tone of suspicion in your voice."
"Well, tell me. Do you enjoy it as much as I you pretend."
"I enjoy being close to you Jason. But it's not as great as it could be. Tell me what you do with this woman?"
"Who Bella?"
"Is that her name."
"Yes."
"A perfect name for a hooker."
"Actually she is the Madam of the house. She's a bit older than the other girls. But I prefer her since she's so experienced in submission."
Suddenly I could not believe my ears, all at once I got the whole picture. My husband had to go to a bordello to play master over some prostitute when that was exactly what I wanted him to do with me at home.
"Did you ever think that I would like to be driven into submission?"
"But my darling," he said so gently, "There are laws against being rough with one's wife."
"Anything is alright if there are two consenting adults."
"And are you consenting," he asked me. "Is that what you're saying right now, that you're a consenting adult."
"You can't imagine how I'd love to play some erotic little games with you."
"Would you let me tie you up?"
"Are you kidding? Of course I would."
"I'm shocked Jan. I mean, I never expected that you had fantasies like that."
"That's what the delivery guy did. He died me up."
"Then tell me what he did."
"Oh, come on. Don't make me tell you all of it."
"Why, are you ashamed."
"I don't know. Maybe a little."
"But maybe it would be good for you to tell me. Maybe then I could do the same to you."
"Well, after Dan tied me up and gagged my mouth, he turned me over and fucked me in the ass."
A big smile came across Jason's face."
"Did you like it," he asked. "I have to admit that it took some getting used to."
"But after he got his cock into you, did you like it then?"
"Yes. I have to admit that I really did." Jason really looked thrilled. He wasn't just mildly pleased, there was absolutely no doubt in my mind that I had hit upon one of his favorite things.
"Do you do it that way with Bella?" I probed.
"Always."
"And does she love it."
"Tremendously."
"Tell me why you like it that way so much."
"I guess because it feels real tight and hot. A woman's pussy is kind of open compared to the asshole and .Gosh, I don't know. It just feels good. I like it."
"Then would you mind telling me why you never did it that way with me?"
"I don't know. I guess I was afraid of offending you. Maybe afraid that it would hurt. I guess you don't seem to understand that I love you very much. You're the most precious thing to me in all the world and it would really kill me to hurt you. Don't you seem to understand that?"
"Sure I do. But pain can also be very pleasurable. And then there's that whole psychological thing of feeling submissive and subservient to you that I need to feel in bed."
"But with all this woman's lib talk these days a man is afraid to even try and make a woman feel subservient to him."
"Well maybe that's where the woman's movement went wrong."
"What do you mean by that?"
"Well, sure it's important for woman to have equal rights in work. But there's something very wonderful about feeling subservient to a man in bed. I can't really explain that to you Jason. I mean, you like feeling like a strong dominant man, don't you?"
"Of course I do."
"Well, it's the same thing with a woman. It's her nature to feel subservient, just as it is the nature of man to feel dominant. And your being assertive to me makes me feel that I can play my own role better."
Jason said nothing. He lay in bed and thought for a long time. Maybe we had talked too much. Maybe there are some things that have to be performed and not discussed.
Our sex life didn't change over night. Nor do I imagine that Jason stopped seeing Bella immediately. But I do feel we're making some progress. I think my honesty paid off.
CONCLUSION
There is no doubt in my mind that Jan has come in touch with her emotions. It is very good that she was able to take the risk of telling her husband the truth about her sexual feeling. What occurred in her case is quite common as people are very often afraid to tell those closest to them their real sexual fantasies and desires. The culture reinforces the idea that a wife should be treated with respect, which indeed she should be. But it must be understood that subservience in bed is not bad treatment.
CASE HISTORY THREE
SUBJECT: BELLA B. AGE: Thirty-five
INTERVIEW ONE
I had wanted to meet with Bella for many months. She is the Madam of a rather interesting new brothel in New York which is meeting with great popularity. What they do is try to encourage their clients to act out their fantasies in ways that are highly theatrical but and very satisfying to their clients.
I was anxious to find out about that; I was extremely curious to discover what some of Bella's own fantasies consisted of.
Bella arrived right on time. She was smartly dressed in a designer suit. The black skirt was rather tight, slit stylishly up to the top of her lovely thigh. She was a strange and fabulous mixture of exotic and elegant. She spoke with a heavy French accent which added to her international air of mystery.
I've been in this business for many years and I have to say that I do enjoy my work tremendously. It really gives me a great deal of pleasure to see my customers satisfied. And through the years we have been able to grow and expand with more and more woman of a very high caliber.
Often when people outside of my work discover what exactly it is I do, they are very, very shocked. At first they think that it is indecent for a woman to have so much sex with so many men. But what I most often feel, especially in the case of women is that they are jealous of all of my talents for love making and especially for my great beauty. I am a woman of thirty-five, but everyone who has ever slept with me knows that I have the body of a very young woman.
Anyway, I didn't come here today to publicize my brothel which is famous throughout the world. But rather I came to discuss with you some of my own sexual fantasies.
Now, as you can imagine, I had always thought of myself as a very free and a very uninhibited woman. But I felt that there was more to lovemaking than what I was experiencing.
Now, do not misunderstand me. I am not talking about technique. But what I'm trying to say is that there was more of my sexuality that I had to get in touch with. Oh I had fabulous orgasms in my day. I could come lots and lots, all the time. And my clients all come from the best class of society and most are very good looking, distinguished men.
But what was happening was that it all started to become very ordinary and very routine for me. Most of my clients wanted either blow jobs or straight sex. Now, it is not that I don't get a great deal of satisfaction sucking on a nice hard cock. It always gives me a great deal of satisfaction to see my customers come. So many are pleased with my technique, which I really have gotten down to a science.
And as far as straight sex, you can not imagine how very much I do enjoy having a nice prick throbbing in and out of my wet pussy. Oh, it is divine and wonderful in every way.
But day in and day out, it can get a little boring. And what I discovered was that I needed to have fantasy in my life as much as my clients needed it. At first I thought it would be lots of fun to get dressed up in black leather and play the part of a dominant woman. There was a part of me that was really very satisfied with all that.
With my long blond hair and very pale green eyes looked rather wonderful in black leather. Playing the dominant woman came easy to me. I knew just how to make my men crawl under me. I used to love to have them lick my cunt for hours. And to think they were paying for all the fun that I was having.
But it was very soon that I got bored with that. But by that time I had developed such a following and so many of my customers had found their satisfaction in playing subserviant roles, that I had to hire a whole batch of new woman who could take my place.
There was a while there that all I did was teach classes on how to deal with subserviant men who by now were flocking into my brothel. It seemed that word had gotten out that we had the best brothel in town for that fantasy. What I found myself doing in these classroom sessions was playing the part of the submissive male. And what I found was that it pleased me more to be the subserviant one than it had pleased me to be dominant.
I remember the first time we had the class. I asked Marcy, a very feminine and demure young woman of about twenty to get dressed in an exquisite black leather outfit. She is very tall and slim and really looked fabulous in the black leather boots that reached all the way to her bare patch of pubic hair that showed out of her black lace garter.
Now, I have to explain that I have always liked woman as much as I've liked men. It's just that the situation has always been that I've been mostly with men due to the nature of my business.
But what I found was that the feeling of submission can be as lovely, if you're into that, with either sex. So, to get back to Marcy. I was really turned on by the way she looked in her black leather outfit. It looked just super. But the problem that I could see I was having with her was that she didn't feel right in it.
What I realized at once was that Marcy didn't think she was a dominating woman. But I guess I saw something in her that she didn't know about herself and I felt it was time that I showed her.
"When you're with a man, or when you're with a woman, outside of work, what sex role do you play the most."
"I'm sorry, Bella, but I don't think I really understand your question."
"Well let me ask you this. How often do you get eaten out."
The young girl just laughed for a minute.
"And what do you find so funny about my question Marcy?"
"I don't think that has happened to me more than once in my life."
I sat the girl down on a high stool and had her spread her gorgeous lean legs far apart.
Gently, I touched her twat. It was hardly wet at all.
"Does that feel good," I asked her.
"Well, yes," she said as though she still had to think about it.
"If it's good you don't have to give it that much thought."
"I'm just not used to receiving pleasure."
"And why do you think that is?" I asked her."
"I've probably worked for you too long."
"And what kind of a nasty crack is that?"
"I didn't say it to be nasty. I just meant that I've been so used to giving satisfaction to men that I've hardly had time to think of myself."
I knew that what she was telling me was most probably true. I realized at once that if I could help her to become a dominant woman I would be helping her with her problem.
At that point I decided to bend down and eat her pussy. The look on Marcy's face was one of horror. She had never imagined that I would ever do a thing like that. But as I continued nibbling on the young girl's soft pink flesh I could feel that her body was responding.
I have to admit that I really started to get into it and it brought me a tremendous amount of satisfaction to feel how wet she was getting. I worked my finger deep into her lovely cunt and bit softly on her clit that was throbbing. The juices were really flowing now and I knew it would be a short time before she came.
"Please, please, don't stop."
"Don't worry my darling.
In a second her cunt was gushing in spasms and I felt a great peace in knowing that she was. But it seemed that she wanted me to continue. Over and over she came. Each time was harder than the last. It was only the beginning for Marcy. She seemed to be a changed woman. After that she began to experiment more and more, concentrating on her own needs.
But that experience did something very different for me. What happened was that I found out that I loved to give pleasure even more than I liked to receive it.
The next time I had a John I started to concentrate on him in a way I had never known before. This particular man had grown accustomed through the years to being subservient to my demands. Actually there was no need for him to change. We could have shifted him over to Marcy who was by now really getting into cracking her leather whip.
But this particular man, whose name is Marty, had become very faithful to me and as a result he was willing to change sex roles. It was a very short time before he was willing to make me into his willing slave.
I was so pleased the day he arrived at my place with his own set of satin ropes.
"They are very beautiful," I told him, commenting about the lovely pink ropes.
I watched as he pound them carefully around my ankles. He still had a rather delicate touch.
And I could see that it would take some time now before he came into being a total dominant.
"You don't have to treat me so gently I told him."
It was as though I had granted him his greatest wish. A delightful smile came over his handsome face as he fastened my wrists tightly behind my back.
"Hey wait," I told him. "Not so hard," I told him But he had gone wild now and was unwilling to stop.
It was only moment before I was bound tightly to the mattress.
He stood over my supple, exposed and naked body, dangling his large prick. I had never known it to be so large and erect. I had never seen him so filled with wild enthusiasm. But to tell you the truth I was a bit frightened at this point because he was so different than I had ever known him to be before. Just where would this stop. I had no idea. There was absolutely no doubt in my mind that what had happened was that I had created a Frankenstein.
His hard firm cock pushed deeply into my mouth. I had no choice but to surrender.
"Suck on that big cock," he commanded me. I sucked hard with all my might.
"Suck me like you were a vacuum cleaner," he said.
I felt tired and weak. I was not used to sucking a man. As I had said before, it was usually me who derived the most pleasure from my customers. It was their job to give. It was mine to receive. For years I had loved it that way. I had loved the tingling sensation of a man's lips sucking on my clit for hours.
Why had I suddenly thought that I would like it the other way. I pulled my mouth away. I was weak. I was tired from a long days work and I just couldn't keep on sucking any more.
"Suck it you bitch," he said as he slapped my face. It was at that point, when he looked fiercely into my eyes that I could no longer resist.
It was at that point I surrendered, letting go of my willfulness. Something inside of me let go. And I guess it was that which I really wanted all along. Suddenly I felt light and free. My whole body opened completely to this man.
He was so different than I had ever known him to be before. I guess there was something that was suddenly that had opened up in him as well.
He began pulling on my nipples very hard. At first it felt quite wonderful. But as he fiercely stretched the flesh I began to feel pain.
"Eeew," stop that I begged. And I was serious. It was beginning to go to far. The look in his eyes was filled with glee. He loved the response he was getting from me. He dipped his hand back into my pussy.
"Ah, now it's good and wet." He pulled hard on my clit.
"Please, not so hard."
"You love it, you bitch."
He was right. I did love it. Not that it really felt so good at first. But I did love the way I felt as my whole being submitted totally to his touch.
"You're driving me crazy," I cried.
He began shoving his huge cock deep inside me.
"Just shut up and start to enjoy it."
I shut my eyes and let him take me. His balls pressed against my flesh. His cock was so hard. He moved it in and out .rhythmically.
"Eeeewwwww...." I cried.
"Don't come yet," he demanded.
It was hard to hold my orgasm back.
"If you come I'll beat you."
"Eeew ... Please! Let me come."
"Not yet:"
"Please.." I begged again.
But he was like a well trained master and he knew exactly how to keep me in control.
The spasms in my cunt were extremely hard to hold back. It took great energy not to let go.
"I'm going to shove my cock deep into your ass."
"No, please. That's one thing I really hate."
"That's exactly why I'm going to do it."
"You bastard," I screamed.
"You'll learn to love it. You'll learn to beg me to do it."
"But you don't understand."
"And what is that I don't understand?"
"My asshole is very, very tight."
"All the better. It will feel wonderful to my big cock.' He had it pressed now between my ass cheeks. My body quivered."
"I've tried it. It doesn't work."
"That's only because you've never allowed yourself to submit before."
I knew he was right. But I wasn't sure if I had arrived at that level of submission required for him to get that full stiff cock deep into my hole.
Softly he massaged the flesh around the opening.
"Boy, you really are very tight."
"You see. It will be impossible."
"Now just relax," he told me. "You're lucky you got me in a good mood."
"What do you mean?"
"I'm going to be easy with you."
"Stuffing your big cock up my ass is not being easy."
"If you can relax it may even feel good." Now, it was true that I had heard that there are many woman who really do enjoy getting fucked up the ass. But the way I figure it, you're either that type or you're not. It just didn't seem possible in my wildest imagination that I could ever get enjoyment from this.
"There are plenty of chicks out there that love this kind of thing. Lots of them would give their eye teeth for me to fuck them in the ass."
"Then why don't you go out there and find one and leave me alone. I think I've had enough for one session."
"But that's just the thrill of the whole thing. You don't seem to understand. Do you?"
"The truth of the matter is that I just don't think I could ever enjoy it."
"And that's exactly what makes you seem so interesting to me right now. I guess I want to be able to show you something that you've never been into before."
"Ah now I'm beginning to understand. You want some virgin ass."
"Exactly."
"Well, this is a business we're running here."
"And what does that have to do with it."
"Well, we charge for things like that." I was beginning to feel the pressure of his cock moving slowly into me. I figured this was no time to start negotiating business deals. So I just shut my eyes very tight and did everything I possibly could to brace myself.
"Your body's much too tense."
"Well what the hell do you want me to do."
"Loosen up."
"I can't I'm much too scared."
At that point I think I started to cry. I guess that must have made me seem very soft and vulnerable to him. Now, everyone in this business knows me to be a hard tough woman. I guess my starting to cry like that was in some way a real turn on to him.
"Ah come here," he said, holding me gently.
His large muscular arms wrapped around my buxom chest. I suddenly felt secure and comfortable. But something inside of me started to pour out and I wailed like a baby."
"Come on, relax. Take a few deep breaths," he told me.
But my tears would not stop and I kept crying."
"What's going on with you?"
"I don't know."
"Is it just that you're afraid of my big cock up your ass."
"No. I think it's more than that. Much more."
"Do you want to talk about it."
"I just wish I knew what to say."
"Think about how you feel," he said caressing my body softly. I loved the way he stroked my skin."
"Do you know that your skin's like velvet and that you're very beautiful."
"With my face all red and full of tears."
"Yes, with your face all red and full of tears. I guess that when you cry like this I feel very close to you because it makes you seem much more vulnerable to me."
I started to calm down.
"Now I just want you to think about how you're feeling so that you can get more in touch with your feelings."
"I feel frightened."
"But I want to know why. You said it wasn't the physical pain that you feared so much."
"That's true. It's more the fear of feeling of having real emotions."
"Could you explain that a little better to me?"
"Well, when you are forceful like the way you just were, I start to have these feelings of submission. It's like I have to give up my ego to you."
"Well, what's wrong with that"
"It's just that it makes me feel terribly vulnerable to you and I guess that is what frightens me so much."
"Well, what is so wrong with feeling vulnerable."
"I get all opened up inside. It's like I've lost my identity. I guess I feel that I've given myself up to you."
"And if my cock was up your ass?"
"Oh, God. Then I'd really have to surrender to you. It's not the physical pain of your big piece getting deep inside of me that I'm so terribly afraid of. I guess it's just the stuff I would have to do psychologically in order to allow for it."
He seemed to know exactly what I meant. I guess he knew all this even before I told it to him. And maybe the reason he kept drawing me out in this way was that he was trying to get me to understand it for myself.
"Now tell me again what you're really afraid of."
"I'm afraid of getting attached to you. I'm afraid of needing you."
"And what is so bad about that."
"I'm afraid of getting hurt in the end."
"Now I think you've hit the truth." I knew in my heart that what I had just said was an enormous breakthrough. I knew too that the reason I had become involved with prostitution in the first place was so that I could have sex without emotion. I had been cold and bold and dominant. I had only taken and never did I give anything that would not give me my own pleasure.
But now something new had happened. I began to realize that there was never to be any pleasure for me again if I didn't allow myself to become open and to become vulnerable. I wanted desperately to feel. And I want to learn to play the part of the submissive woman.
"It's going to take time for you," he told me.
"Will you help me."
"That I promise."
"But will you never leave me."
"I think maybe that's asking too much."
"But don't you understand. That is my fear. I'm afraid of getting close and then becoming rejected."
"You'll have to learn that everyone on earth has that fear. And you're going to have to learn how to deal with it. I think that's a part of what it means to be an adult. But owning me and my owning you will not give you the security that your looking for."
"What do you mean."
"Well, the truth is that no one can ever own another. And no one ever wants to be owned."
"But there is something in me that wants to be your slave."
"You want a situation where you can surrender totally and have the security of knowing that I own you. You think that will give you a feeling of permanence."
"I can see the truth in what your saying. Right now I really understand your words."
"The thing is how you'll feel an hour from now when I leave.
He left and the hour passed. My mind was left in a terrible mess. I had feelings that I was unable to deal with. It was as though things I had suppressed for my whole life were now surfacing. One minute I felt insecure, the next I felt filled with lust.
I even tried to go back to playing the dominant, holding power over the men who came to my brothel. But it was true that I no longer derived any happiness from it. For years I had taken pleasure in feeling like a man, going out and taking my lust from where I could; never caring emotionally. Never confusing love with sex. But now I felt that the submission that satisfied me now translated into the emotion of love and of trust. It was just something new in my life that I would have to deal with.
INTERVIEW TWO
When Bella returned to my office for her second interview she had what I would call a delicate quality about her. She seemed more gentle and far more relaxed. She was dressed in a floral print dress and wore a fragrance of heavy musk. As appealing as I had found her to be on our first interview, I was far more taken by her now. There was a radiant auro and her face was beaming. Since I met you the most wonderful developments have taken place in my life. First of all I have to tell you that yesterday I made the decision to leave the brothel. I managed to sell the company to Marcy who has really gotten into the whole scene. She's absolutely delighted. I give her fifteen years to come to the state I've gotten to.
Part of me feels like a submissive slave. Then there's this other part of me that feels like a real adult for the first time in my life. I feel in control about what's going on around me. I feel I can make decisions and change things if I want.
First let me tell you what happened sexually with me and my master. I call him my master, not because he really owns me all the time. I mean he wouldn't want it that way. He really wants to give me my freedom and I want to give him his. But there is something wonderful that has happened to our relationship. What I mean is that I have really gotten to the point where I can submit my whole being totally to him.
But the best part of all is the way he has been able to train me. Not only has he trained me physically. But he has trained me emotionally as well.
What I'm saying is that he's taught me how to have detachment. Or perhaps I should say when we're together we're attached. When we're apart we're detached. I guess that's the only way things can really work anyway.
But what I want to tell you about is how he really got me to submit to him physically..
He called me at home one night. I was really very surprised to hear from him as he usually reached me at the brothel.
"How come you're calling me at home?" I asked him.
"I'm no longer your customer, Bella."
I guess I had to getting paid for my services. After all, that was how I made my living.
It was really a very weird and strange feeling for me to have a customer who was able to get me at home, and I have to admit there was a feeling that my privacy was being evaded. "How's your ass?"
"What kind of thing is that to ask?" Something inside of me felt indignant. I was also getting real defensive at the same time.
"How would you like me to come over right now and make you feel real good.?" he asked me.
What is this, a busman's holiday, I thought to myself.
"I don't think I want to see anyone right now."
"Come on. Wouldn't you like to get laid?"
"I don't know." My defenses were dropping. At least I hadn't said no. I guess he knew he was getting his foot in the door.
"Wait until you see what I'm going to do to you," he said. From the tone of his voice I could just tell that he was pumping hard on his big cock even as we talked over the phone.
"You want to tell me," I said.
I guess the thought of him jerking off on the other end of the phone, even without my actually seeing him doing it, was enough to get me extremely excited right now.
"What are you wearing?" he asked me in a real sexy tone.
"Just, my lace panties."
"And what color are they."
"Black."
"I love it when you wear black. But even better I love it when you wear nothing and I can see the soft blond hair on your cunt."
"Do you want me to take my panties off?" I asked, as though I didn't know the answer.
"I want you to take them off right now."
I stretched the elastic over my hip and down my long lean thighs.
"Now I want you to dip your fingers into your twat and really get yourself hot."
"I am hot."
"But I want you to make yourself real wet."
I began working on my clit, rubbing the little red knob very gently. I felt it begin to grow and stir now right under my well manicured fingers.
"What's happening," he asked.
"My clit is getting excited. It's kind of twitching."
"And what else?"
"Well, I feel I want your cock deep inside my pussy."
"And what else?"
"I want to feel your big cock twisting very hard deep inside of me."
"Is that all you want?"
"I want to feel you sucking on my nipples."
"And are those lovely pink nipples hard right now?"
"Extremely."
"And how do you feel?"
"I'm wet. I'm hot and if you don't get over here in a few minutes, I think I'll just die."
"But are you ready for me to get into your ass." All of a sudden something inside of me held back. I got a nervous frightened feeling. It was starting all over again and I didn't want it to. With all my heart I wanted to surrender to this man. Getting fucked up the ass would really mean that. I wanted him to take me in that way, just so that I could prove it to myself that I was really capable of surrender.
"Tell me. Are you ready for my big cock to go up that little sweet ass?"
I was very silent. My hand probed the hole to my ass. I wondered if it was even physically possible.
"Tell me. Do you think you have enough trust in me. Do you believe me when I say I care about you and only want to bring you pleasure."
"Yes," I told him. "Of course I do. I believe that with all my heart."
"Then you have nothing to worry about."
"Look I really want you to come over. But I'm not sure I'm ready to have anal sex just yet."
"I'll be over in a little while. But I don't want you to move. Stay exactly where you are until I come to the door."
I hung up the phone and remained on my bed. The satin sheets felt cool and wonderful under my bare skin. But I was so hot and excited from the conversation we had just had that I continued to play with my clit.
It really felt wonderful. I watched my image on the mirror beside my bed. I looked at my perfect smooth ass and parted it a bit. With my other hand I probed the hole of my ass.
Then I reached over to the end table beside my bed and got a jar of hand cream. I filled my hand with it and started rubbing it into the hole of my cute behind. It felt rather goood and I kept doing this. I figured that eventually, that I continued playing with my clit. Even if it wasn't to be that night, he would want to get deep inside of me and the think that I had to do now was to try to get myself as used to it as possible.
The doorbell rang. I couldn't believe that he was arriving so early. I pulled on a pink silk robe and ran to greet him.
There he stood. I looked up at his handsome face and realized he was my special lover. He was dressed casually in jeans and an old work shirt. I had never seen him looking so good. Usually he came straight from work and was dressed in a three piece suit.
He smiled at me, said nothing and came in. He put his arms around my hips and drew me very close. I could feel his hard on pushing into me. I reached up and kissed his neck. His face needed a shave. But I loved the way he looked that way. It gave him this appearance of being rough and manly. As he twisted my nipples, that were hard and taut, I knew it wasn't a superficial impression. Then, suddenly he started moving back and me hard to my knees.
"Suck my big cock," he said as he opened his fly. His big cock came bulging out.
"God I love this cock," I told him.
"You love to suck it, don't you?"
"More than anything in the whole world."
That was the last thing I said as I took the big hunk of throbbing meat into my mouth.
First, I gently licked the tip. I loved the taste and the feel of it. I swirled my tongue around, teasing just a little. It seemed to to a rather long length as I sucked it deep inside. The feel of it inside was great. But then as he became more and more excited it stretched to the very back of my mouth deep into my throat.
"Just relax," he said gently.
I knew at this point I had to let go of my will to allow his cock to go to an area I was not used to having it. But I knew it felt very wonderful to him and that was enough to get me to do it. It slid down nicely now. His fat cock was pulsating hard inside my wet mouth and my saliva was gushing all over.
Then for a moment he pulled out. I took a deep breath and tried to recover quickly. I didn't know quite why he had pulled out. I was just getting comfortable with it and now I really wanted to get into the sucking.
"Get up a little," he told me.
Now I got frightened. I thought for sure he wanted my ass.
But he must have seen me trembling as he knew exactly what I had on my mind.
"No. I'm not going to take you there yet," he said knowingly.
"Alright."
"So just relax."
He took his cock and started rubbing it into my breast. It was the most erotic feeling and I really loved his doing it. Then he slid his huge piece right between my breasts.
"Push your tits together and hug my cock!" he demanded.
I did exactly as he said. The sight of my full breasts wrapped tightly around his spear was a real turn on for me. His piece was still nice and slick from having been in my mouth and it slid through my valley so beautifully.
"Now turn over he commanded."
I did exactly what he said and got down now on "Please don't hurt me," I begged him.
"Don't worry. I'm not going to get into your ass so fast." But I tell you, I was ready for anything. It was just so good and wonderful to be with him. I new I had reached a new level of trust. I was not at all frightened by the physical pain that might result.
"If it hurts at all it will only be temporary," he told me.
I really felt as though I was in the hands of a professional.
"You can do anything to me that you want," I said. I could hardly believe that I had said this. But I guess it was exactly how I felt now.
"Just stay relaxed.
"If it hurts will you pull out."
"No, that would only be worse. You'll see. It's going to be alright. I'll be very careful. So don't worry."
I didn't flinch. Not even for a second did I hold back. Something in me felt very relaxed and very much at ease."
"Do you feel this?" He had his hard cock right at the tip of my anus. I was totally ready. Suddenly he slid in about an inch. I sure was glad that I had lubricated my asshole with some cream.
All of a sudden I felt his huge throbbing cock slide deep inside of me. It was the most unusual sensation of my life.
"Eeeew, it hurts," I screamed.
"Just relax," he told me, holding my breasts.
"It hurts. Please take it out." His throbbing cock held still. He didn't move at all.
"Are you alright?" he asked.
"I'm not sure." The truth of the matter was that my ass was really starting to relax and his cock began to feel comfortable.
But the interesting thing was that it was a psychological surrender that was really necessary for my ass the most. You know, feeling so surrendered and so submissive to this wonderful man.
Then suddenly he started moving back and forth. And that felt good too. The longer he stayed inside me the more I loved it.
"I want to fuck this ass like this every day, he told me. I knew it was the beginning of meaningful relationship.
The beginning of the end. My end. It was the start of my pleasure.
CASE HISTORY FOUR
SUBJECT: LINDA L. AGE: Thirty-two
INTERVIEW ONE
Linda came to see me shortly after she was raped. The report said that she had developed a terrible phobia to men and I was to try and help her overcome this problem.
When she arrived for her first interview I recognized at once that she was timid and scared. Her posture was poor and she was rather shabbily dressed. She gave a rather disorderly, unkempt impression and was not particularly attractive by my standards. Yet, if one looked closer, it was apparent that much could be done to change this. She would never be a ravishing beauty. But she did have rather large, well formed breasts. It was obvious that she wore no bra beneath her tight T-shirt, and I always find this most appealing.
Her waist is small and she does have a rather nice, tight, boyish ass that looked good in the faded blue jeans that she was wearing.
I was really hesitant to come to see you today. I thought several times of calling you yesterday to cancel the appointment I had made. But something inside of me said that would just be cowardly. I really needed to talk to someone.
My experience of rape has caused me a great deal of pain and there are very few people I know who I can confide in about this. I think that most people who know about what happened to me think that there was something I had done to lure the rapist. That is absolutely untrue and it is very unfair of any of my friends to think such things.
One of the reasons that the whole situation has caused me so much humiliation is that my picture made the front page of the local newspaper. And my name made the headlines as well. So, everyone around me knows the whole story.
Let me tell you exactly what happened. You see the guy who raped me is someone I know. There's this guy Ronnie who is a friend of my old boyfriend. When Joel and I were going together Ronnie had just broken up with his girlfriend. Joel kind of felt sorry for him, so Ronnie went everywhere with us.
To tell you the truth, even though I thought he was a nice guy, it was starting to get on my nerves having him always around. I tried to put up a good front because of Joel. I mean this was his best friend and I didn't want to come on as some kind of a bitch.
But what really got to me was when Joel was out of town on business one week-end, Ronnie made some kind of an excuse to come over for dinner. Actually he said that Joel had asked him to fix something in the apartment while he was gone. I didn't know anything at all about this. But I didn't want to come on as some kind of a paranoid so I told him it was perfectly alright. I was cooking something while he was in the house and he kept saying how great he thought it smelled, taking little tastes, so I finally invited him to have dinner with me.
I kept getting this strange feeling that he was going to make a pass at me. But something inside of me said to get the idea out of my head. But , the more I tried to fight my thoughts about him coming on to me, the more the idea kept cropping up. It was like the subject was in the air. We were real quiet all through dinner. Neither of us hardly said a word. I made a few jokes to try and cut the seriousness of the mood. But it was as though he was very deep in thought. I can't tell you how frightened I was about it. I finally told him that I was tired and I wanted to get to bed. And that's when he made his move.
"Do you mind if I join you," he asked. You know I almost felt relieved. Finally he had said just what I was afraid of and I realized, at least, that it wasn't such a paranoid thought that I had.
"You've got to be crazy," I told him.
"Why, I think it would be great. You've had a thing for me for a long time. And I've been pretty hot for you myself."
That made me furious. It was never true. I mean I was really in love with my boyfriend. Well, I have to say that I was in love with Joel until Ronnie told me a few facts about things they had been doing that I knew nothing about.
"You know I've been pretty horny since I broke up with Alice. And Joel's been real helpful to me."
"Oh really," I said. I wanted to hear the whole story now.
"Oh yeah. Joel's been great. He's been letting me do a lot of things that you have no idea about."
"What do you mean by that?" He was making it sound like Joel was his Lord and Master. I couldn't imagine what he meant.
"Well, I don't know it but there's a two way mirror in your bedroom." I knew that Joel had just installed a full mirror on the wall of our bedroom so that we could watch ourselves when we make love. But I was absolutely shocked to hear that it was a two way mirror.
"Oh yeah. You can go right upstairs now and check it." I didn't move. I was just waiting to hear the rest of this. "Lots of times when you two would be in there making love, Joel would let me watch through the other room."
"You're full of shit. I don't believe you."
"I can show you pictures if you want."
"You bastard," I screamed and began hitting him left and right.
"Hey. Hold on. I can tell you a few other things too."
"Well I don't want to hear. I can't believe Joel would ever do anything like that."
"I'll tell you I had a pretty good time watching. I guess there is a bit of voyeur in all of us."
"Your sick."
"I heard a few of the fantasies you've had and if you ask me some of them sound pretty kinky. So I don't know what you're trying to hide."
I had remembered that one night Joel made me tell him all kinds of fantasies. I guess the ones I had I didn't think to be so special. I mean I've thought of doing it in places where people could catch you and things like that. But when he asked me to tell him all about them I decided I'd make some up.
"I think I'd like to do a threesome," I said.
"Oh yeah," he said, intrigued. "Would you prefer two women or two men?"
I guess I'm sort of the jealous type. So I told him I'd prefer to do it with two men. Actually, when I talked about it with him it did sound a bit exciting to say the least.
"How about if we included Ronnie," Joel suggested. I wasn't really thinking about him. But since this was his best friend I didn't want him to be offended so I said alright.
"Yeah, that would be O.K." I never thought once that he would take me seriously. But now Ronnie told me that he had promised to let him join in our bed.
Well, there wasn't much time now to discuss it all. Ronnie saw he was getting no where fast with me. So what he did was start to pull off my clothes. He's a lot bigger and a lot stronger than I am, so I really wasn't able to defend myself.
Before I knew it, I was stripped naked. He carried me up to the bedroom and threw me down on the bed. He pulled open his fly and revealed his large hungry cock. In a sense I have to admit to the fact that I enjoyed his aggressiveness. You see, even though my boyfriend is a wonderful lover, I have never found him to be extremely exciting. It's never one of those mad passionate things. It's always rather cool and comfortable, if you know what I mean.
"You fucking bitch. Spread those legs," he said holding his enormous cock in his hands. He was pulling on it hard and I could see that he could hardly wait now to get inside my twat.
The really strange thing about the whole thing to me was the fact that my cunt was all of a sudden dripping wet. Maybe I didn't want to admit it to myself but I was suddenly turned on in a way I have never been in my whole life.
"I'm really going to ram this cock into you."
"You prick," I screamed. "Scream and I'll jam it in your mouth."
"You fucking bastard," I yelled. In a moment my mouth was stuffed shut. "Now suck," you little princess. "I'll show you what sex is all about.
"Eeeew," I moaned. I swear I hated him in that moment. But how can I explain to you that I also loved it at the same time.
"Suck me baby. Suck that big dick of mine."
Something inside of me made me surrender to his strength. Something inside of me told me that I would have nothing to feel guilty about since I was made to have sex against my will. I was overcome by his forcefulness. It made me feel that he was extremely manly. And in a strange way, even though he was very threatening to me, I felt as though I was safe and protected by him.
So, I have to admit that my submission came easy. I stretched my legs wide apart. My twat was hungry for him now.
"That's a good baby," he told me.
The big cock slipped in easily.
""How does that feel," he said, knowing damn well his huge cock was making my cunt throb and that it felt great.
I couldn't believe how fast he brought me to climax. I was screaming it felt so powerful and good. I kind of wished that I had held it in. I mean I was sorry that I had given him the satisfaction of knowing how damn good it was.
The next day I reported it to the police. Now, possibly you may think that because I enjoyed his fucking me that it really wasn't rape. But the truth is that I did suffer a great deal psychologically. For one thing, when my boyfriend came back and I told him what happened, he was really furious. But who do you think he blamed? You'd think he'd blame Ronnie. Hell, no. He went and blamed me. The fucking bastard.
I guess I lost a lot of self confidence after we broke up. I've stopped taking care of myself in a lot of ways. Maybe I'm trying hard not to attract any guys. It's like I've become a little paranoid and don't feel as though I can trust men any more.
But another thing that has happened that really worries me more than anything else is the fact that I now feel that I'm very attracted to aggressive rough looking me. It's like I'm looking to have an affair with someone like Ronnie. Sometimes I even fantasize about being raped. I guess that's the part that's worrying me the most right now.
INTERVIEW TWO
When Linda returned for her second interview, I noticed a marked change in her appearance. She was dressed in hot pink jeans and a rather revealing pink silk shirt. There was no doubt in my mind just from the observance of what she had on that discussing her so called rape had alleviated much of the guilt which she seemed to have.
I could tell that she was quite anxious and happy to see me and discuss her progress, since she did arrive early for our session.
Just talking to you last week has changed my head around about so many things. I guess just listening to myself talk made me realize that I was carrying around a lot of extra baggage. What I mean is that there really was no reason for me to feel so guilty about what went on with me and Ronnie.
I'm still not willing to say that what happened was anything but rape, even if the officials refuse to call it that. I've tried to press charges. But by now the whole thing seems useless.
I guess the thing I have to do now is just deal with what has been going on inside my own head and to stop thinking about retribution. And what I finally realized is that I do need a more forceful man in my life. I do need a man who is extremely aggressive in bed. So maybe it is just as well that things haven't worked out with Joel.
What I've decided to do now is to go out and really try and get what I want. I've decided to stop hiding form the world. Well, it's only the beginning.
CONCLUSION
There is no doubt in my mind that Linda is going to be very successful in getting all that she wants. The important thing was for her to recognize her own needs. Now that she has done that she will have to go about giving out the right signals to the world. By this I mean that she will have to communicate what she really wants and not what society has made her believe to be the proper thing.
CASE HISTORY FIVE
SUBJECT: LOUISE S. AGE: Twenty-five
INTERVIEW ONE
Louise came to see me with what she thought to be an enormous problem. It seemed that her taste in men had suddenly changed. Since she had just been married for a rather short time she really did not know what to do regarding her husband.
Louise is a rather beautiful young woman who would turn any head. She has long flowing hair that is the color of golden wheat. Her figure is lean yet voluptuous. Her features are small and perfect and her ways are extremely graceful. There was no doubt in my mind that she was a highly sexed, erotic woman whose needs must be satisfied.
It took me a long time to get up the nerve to come and see you. I have heard from many of my friends, some of whom suffer from the same type of guilt that I'm now burdened with, that you have been extremely helpful.
As I told you on the phone, I have only been married a short time. I met my husband on a vacation I took to Europe. He comes from a very good Italian family who live in Northern Italy. John is extremely good looking and I have to admit that I was very attracted to him as soon as we met. We look like very different types. I am very fair with blond hair and he is very dark. I guess opposites attract. But I had no idea that we were such different types inside.
Now, I have always been very into sex. I can't say that I'm really promiscuous. But I really do like to get it on a lot. I just assumed that all Italians were good lovers. At least that was the reputation I always thought they had.
You may find this very hard to believe, but I never slept with my husband before the day we were married. Let me try and explain just how this happened.
First of all you have to understand that most of the time we were courting it was done through letters and over the telephone. He had to stay in Italy because of his business. For a while I thought I would give up my modeling career in New York and go over there to live with him. I really wasn't that anxious to settle down. I had a lot of hesitations about actually getting married. But his letters were so beautiful and we had had such a wonderful week together when I was there, that he decided to come to the States. At first it was just for a visit. But soon he decided that he really did want to marry me and commit himself to me so we finally did take the vows. Oh, gosh. It was all so crazy. Everything happened so terribly fast that there wasn't any time to think.
Now that I think back on it all I realize that is exactly how he wanted it. What I'm saying is that there is no doubt in my mind that what was happening was that he was giving me the rush.
The fact that we never had sex together was really the part I knew I'd have trouble explaining to you. Actually, I think I have to make a little confession here. I just had this crazy feeling that if we had sex together the whole thing would turn into one of those fly by night affairs. I had had so much of that over the past year that I really wanted to change my life. So I played a game. And I guess I won, because I did get this damn marriage band around my little finger. But in a much greater sense I guess I have to admit to the fact that I lost.
You see, John turned out to be a real dud in bed. Oh, yes, he's gentle and sweet and maybe there are lots of woman who would have adored having him. But there was always something missing. I always felt empty and unsatiated afterwards.
Now, I did have climaxes. And there were times that I did have multi orgasms. But that's not what I'm talking about. After all, it is possible to have that with a vibrator if you wanted to. I guess I just never felt that I was really with a man who was deeply physical and erotic.
One night, after we had made love I decided to do something that was really crazy. It was a hot summer night and the air conditioner had gone off in the apartment. I made this excuse that I wanted to go out and take a walk to get some fresh air.
"I'll go with you, darling," John said.
"No, John. For some reason I really feel like being alone tonight " He was worried about my being on the streets alone. But finally I convinced him. I left the apartment knowing exactly where I was going and what I was going to do.
I headed for Park Avenue and thirty-third. I knew that was a neighborhood where hookers walked the streets. It took a very short time before a car stopped and picked me up.
It was a Mercedes sports car so I knew this was no poor slob. When he asked me what I charged for a blow-job I told him seventy five.
"You've got to be crazy," he told me. "That's how much I pay for a whole night."
"It's also what you probably pay for a cigar." He agreed and took me to the river.
I'd say he was a guy no more than thirty-five. Even in the dim light I could tell he was extremely handsome. I was anxious to see his cock. I waited for him to unzip his fly and pull it out.
It was a good size, very thick. He took me by the hair and pushed me down.
"Suck me good you cunt."
My mouth was full to the brim. But I was so excited that I could feel the juices beginning to run down my thigh.
As I sucked on him I started to rub on my clit. I figured that I might as enjoy it as much as him.
"Use your hands he commanded in a strong masculine way." I wrapped my fingers around the stem of his cock and rubbed his piece up and down as I sucked.
"Eeew, that feels good."
My mouth was full of saliva and I was slurping a little.
I can't begin to tell you how exciting it was for me to be sucking the enormous cock of this fabulous strange man. It was a situation that really let me release my inhibitions in a way I hadn't done for years.
Perhaps being married to John had put me a position where I wanted to play the perfect wife. And I guess for him that means like the blessed mother.
"A proper woman wouldn't dress like that," he would tell me if I put on a low cut dress that showed off my deep cleavage and full breasts.
If I was to act at all erotic in bed he would suddenly grow limp.
"Lets fuck in front of a mirror," I said one night.
He was so shocked at that one that he never said a word.
I thought it would be great fun for both of us to watch the way our bodies moved together. In fact all the sex manuals I had read recently that told of bringing joy into your bedroom had suggested the use of mirrors. They said it brought a certain dignity to the sexual experience. Watching the full penis mount into a hungry cunt could only be an enormous turn on. And that little suggestion was just a small idea compared to the other wonderful things I had in mind.
But unfortunately my ideas really turned Jon off instead of on and there was nothing I could have done to change him of this. I figured it vas just because of his strict background. You know, the way he was brought up."
"Maybe we're just different sexual types," I suggested to him late one afternoon when we had woken up rather late. We were still in bed. He had a slight hard on. I guess he figured I was going to start massaging and kneading on his piece, just the way I always did on Saturday mornings.
"What do you mean we're different sexual types," he said rather indignantly.
"I don't think we have the same level of appetite for sex." I was sitting right beside him looking sexy and beautiful in a sheer pink negligee. My breasts were swelling and my nipples were pink and hard. I felt rather horny and was almost willing to put my hand to my pussy and begin to rub. But then I figured he would probably think that perverse.
Then all of a sudden something inside of me said what the hell. If I want to get it off and come I might as well. And if he thought it perverse and dirty, that was his problem, not mine. After all, as far as I was concerned, sex was only really good when it was hot, perverse and dirty. And if I was to go into any more explanations of why we were different sexual types, it would only make me angry and turn me off.
"What are you doing," John said as he saw me rubbing my hot pussy. The juices were really flowing.
I rolled my head back and continued rubbing. I came real hard and let out a little scream. I think what made him so mad now was that I could come even if he didn't help me out. I guess it was at that moment that I decided to stop pretending about my sexuality. I was going to start pleasing myself and getting what I wanted no matter what.
So when I sat by the river in the strange man's car, sucking him good and hard until my mouth was real sore, I felt great. Mostly because I knew this guy was a hot as me. I knew that I had found someone who wouldn't put me down for my passion and my lust. He was real turned on. His cock was very beautiful. I could feel his cock twitching inside my mouth, growing longer and harder as I sucked.
"Oh, God. what you're doing to me feels so damn good."
It was really turning me on now that I knew He liked what I was doing.
"Use those hands," he demanded.
I rapped the fingers of my left hand around the stem of his huge piece.
"Use your other hand too," he said, rolling his head back. I looked up a minute, still sucking on him hard. The look on his face was just exquisite.
His look of pleasure, passion and total enjoyment was really making my twat twitch over and over again. My French jeans were getting real wet. I could feel the moisture between my pussy lips. I pulled down the zipper of my tight pants.
"Use that other hand," he commanded again.
So I wrapped my right hand firmly around the shaft of his throbbing cock now. The whole piece was very slick and very wet from all the sucking I had done. The juices of my mouth were flowing as much as the juices of my cunt.
I clutched his shaft and rubbed it up and down real hard as I continued sucking at the same time.
"Eeeew," he cried. I think you're driving me crazy.
I wanted to tell him how much I loved doing it. I wanted to tell him that I had never enjoyed sucking on a big hard cock so much in my whole life. And the truth was that if I had said this it would not be only because it was a moment of intense excitement for me, but rather because it was the total complete truth. I loved the taste of this man's piece. But most of all I loved the wonderful way it was responding to me.
"Ah, yes. I'm coming."
I really wanted to start working on my own wet pussy. And surely I would have by now, if only I had another hand. Then suddenly I realized that what we really needed was another cock.
"Don't stop," he pleaded. Please don't stop. Just another minute and I'm going to come real hard. Eeew." he cried.
It was a wonderful feeling to know that I was giving this man so much pleasure. I knew I was good at sucking cock. All these months with John had really had me lose a lot of my confidence and now I was getting it back.
But there was one thing I had learned from John, and I was determined not to forget my lesson. That lesson was to get my own satisfaction from a man as well as get it.
But what could I do now. He was about to come in my mouth. How was I to know that he could go on and on like that all night. I had no way of telling what a wonderful sexual athlete this man really was.
I figured that once he came that would be it. It would be all over for the night. I would have to take my money and go home to the loneliness of being with John.
"Don't stop," he said again, as I slowly slid my mouth out of the embrace of his gorgeous cock.
I continued stroking him with my hand. There was so much saliva on his rod that it made a wonderful squishing sound. His balls were very hard and full as I stroked them gently.
"Why did you stop," he said. I took a deep breath and was silent for a minute.
"Oh, you poor thing," he said with great compassion.
I looked back at him with big eyes.
"You must be exhausted," he said so compassionately.
"Very. I just need to catch my breath."
The truth was that I was biding my time, trying to think of some excuse to get him back to his place where I could take him around the world.
"Would you like to go back to my place," he asked.
I guess I reacted as though I was surprised. But actually he had read my mind. I don't know why, but something inside of me was acting like I was real shy. I think I suspected that this kind of man needed this. He reacted well to woman who needed his protection.
"Oh, I don't know if I can do that," I told him.
"I'll pay you more. Lots more."
"It's not the money," I told him. "Your not like most street walkers," he told me.
"You bet your life I'm not." He started the engine of the car and began to back up.
"Where are we going?" I asked him. "You'll see."
"Are we going back to your place," I asked. "No."
"And why not?"
"Oh, have you changed your mind now?"
"Could you just tell me where we're going. I'd really like to know."
"You'll see. It's going to be a surprise."
"Are we going back to your apartment?"
"No, darling. I wouldn't force any one to do anything they didn't want to do."
I sat back and decided to enjoy the ride. We said nothing to each other. Not a word. I drifted off to a dreamy space.
"I like women who are nice and quiet," he told me. "They remind me of cats."
He had a soft deep voice I loved to hear him talk. There was something about him that made me feel very safe and secure inside. I realized how good I felt as we approached the beach.
"Have you ever been here before," he asked.
"Never at night."
"It's very beautiful and quiet."
The weather was very warm. There was only a gentle breeze from the ocean.
"Come with me he said as he opened up his door.
He led me through the sand. The only light was from the sparkling stars above. It seemed that every star and planet was sinning bright. But the moon was at its smallest phase. There was something wonderfully haunting and mysterious about this.
You cannot imagine what an incredible adventure all of this was to me. How I had hungered for some mystery and some excitement in my life. The fantasy of being on a white sandy beach lit only by the stars and a sliver of moon above was enough to rush the blood flowing through me.
Who this man was, I did not know. Nor did I care. I had taken such an incredible risk to pick him up, to enter into his car, to suck his huge cock, that I knew was still hard.
It was a wonderful idea of mine to prolong the evening. I felt as though there was some cloud of mystery and eroticism that had enveloped us. And I knew too that this feeling was not just mine, but that he was experiencing the same fabulous thrill of divine enchantment. "Take your clothes off," he suddenly demanded.
The weather was very warm even though we were reaching closer to the ocean. His voice was so deep and firm that I did not stop to question him.
He had quickly slipped out of his pants and underwear, revealing a magnificent muscular and firm body. He really was an athlete. There was no doubt about that.
For I had never seen legs like that on a man - any man.
He started pumping on his hard cock as I slowly stripped out of my clothes. I moved rather slowly in order to prolong the excitement I was giving him.
Take your blouse off first," he told me.
I did exactly what he said, unbuttoning one button after another. I pulled the sheer silk off my arms and threw it on to the sand.
"Now your bra," he said. I could tell from the look on his face that he was really getting off on this slow strip tease.
I slowly undid my bra that opened from the front. My full breasts swelled in front of them.
I looked down and noticed that my nipples were about an inch long, tighter than they had ever been before.
"I want to see you play with yourself," he told me. He was still pumping very hard on his cock.
"Just don't come yet," I told him. I guess the tone of my voice sounded a bit desperate. But the truth of the matter was that I yearned to have that big hard cock throbbing and twisting deep inside my honey pot.
"Don't worry about me. I can come a dozen times."
"So can I," I told him.
I could see he was really getting off on that now. But still I wanted him to save ever drop of his precious come for my hungry pussy.
"Come on. I want to see you play with yourself."
It was at that point that I started to take off my tight jeans."
"No don't do that yet. We have time for that."
"Then how do you expect me to play with myself if I don't take off my pants."
""Slow, darling. Everything slow."
"I still don't understand how I'm going to get inside my pussy if I don't take my jeans and panties off."
"Are your panties real wet."
"Yes. They are."
"Just how wet are they?" he asked.
"They feel like they're soaking."
"That's good. But you'll have to wait a lot longer until I let you touch your sweet pussy. Slow, darling. Everything real slow. I want to really see you enjoy yourself, like you've never done before."
This man was so incredibly wonderful. I felt like I had fallen deeply in love. Oh, sure, I knew the difference between love and lust. Some people say that you can't have both at the same time. But after my dismal experience with my husband John, I've come to believe that they both have to go together. At least, for me I don't think I could love a man for very long if he didn't really turn me on. After a short time it would only lead to enormous frustration. But now, standing half naked on this beautiful beach, I was quite certain that I had met my sexual match.
The fact that this man, whose name I didn't even know, was so deeply interested in satisfying my every sexual desire was so thrilling to me. And so far he hadn't even asked me to take my pants off and I thought that I'd go crazy.
"Now just tell me something plain and simple," I said to him.
"And what's that," he answered.
"Just tell me how I'm supposed to play with myself if you won't even let me get to my soaking wet twat?"
"I want to see you play with your breasts for a while."
"Eeew, that's nice," I said raising my hand to my right nipple.
"Both hands," he told me.
I raised both hands now to my hard nipples that were at least an inch long. How filled with excitement I felt. How sensual the tips of my full breasts felt now as I twisted and played with them softly.
"Pull those nipples hard he told me."
I squeezed just a bit.
"Like this?" I said.
"No honey. Hard. Pull them until they look like taffy-"
I started doing as he said. "Even harder now."
"But that hurts."
"Take a deep breath. You'll see. You'll get used to it. "Again I followed his instructions. At first it felt rather tender around my nipples. Very tender.
But as I continued. I started to get into it. I felt the pulsating twitching of my clit begin to increase.
"You see," he said knowingly."
"Yeah."
"Feels goood doesn't it?"
"Eeew yeah. It feels great."
"O.K. Don't stop keep doing what I tell you.
"I will. I'll do anything you tell me.
There was absolutely no doubt in my mind that this man was a highly skilled professional when it came to sex and that he knew exactly what he was doing. I only wondered how the hell he knew so much.
"Harder," he insisted.
He was taking me beyond my limits. There was no doubt about it. "Pull those big titties."
"I pulled harder and harder, each time yearning that the huge cock that he was now pumping and which was growing harder and fuller, would start stirring inside my cunt. Oh, my pussy felt hungry now. But I knew that I just had to be very patient. I knew that I had to wait for him and that it would not be long, at least not longer than that night before all that I yearned and hoped for would come to pass.
"Lift those nipples to your mouth and let me see you suck."
For a moment I really was quite startled. I had never even thought of doing such a thing before. Sucking on my own nipples did not seem like even a possibility. For although my breasts were extremely full, I never imagined, now that he asked that they would reach all the way to my mouth.
Again he instructed me to lift my nipples to my mouth. There was a bit of impatience in his voice and I had the definite feeling that if I did not cooperate with him now that he might have a shorter fuse than I imagined. I didn't want to see him explode verbally. I only wanted to see the explosion of his cock. And in order to get that far I knew that I would have to agree to his ever command.
"Oh, gosh. I can't believe this," I said as my nipples slipped very easily into my tight little mouth. It felt kind of funny at first as I sucked.
"Feel good," he asked . I could tell just by the tone of his voice that he was really getting hot. "I love woman with big full breasts," he said.
I was so hot and excited that something made my other hand reach for the zipper of my jeans.
"That's a good girl," he told me as I undid the zipper.
My hand dipped beneath my lace panties into the crack of my cunt.
"Eeew that feels great," I moaned.
"Keep rubbing," he told me.
But for one moment I disobeyed. I had stopped rubbing in order to take my jeans all the way off. After all they were getting in my way now. I wanted to be able to dip my hands in totally and deeply. I wanted to fill up my hot pussy that was now running with juices the way it had never done before in all my life. If there was a stick around I know I would have used it, shoving and thrusting it all the way up, in and out until I came real hard and was finally satisfied. Actually, I had reached the point where if I had only massaged my clit a little more I would have climaxed fabulously.
But for some reason right now I really wanted to have my body totally uncovered. I guess I wanted to have him thrill in the beauty of my perfect shape. I felt just like a vixen by the beach. The sound of the rushing waves against the shore was enough to bring this mermaid to satisfaction.
"I think you're the most beautiful woman I have ever seen" he told me. I knew now that he was totally enchanted.
"But you have no discipline."
"Why do you say that?"
"Because you do not know how to take instructions yet."
"I couldn't believe his words. I couldn't believe that he wanted to discipline me as though I was a naughty child.
"I did not tell you to remove your pants. and yet you did." His tone was of one who was very unhappy. I felt sorry that I had done this now and reached to draw them up.
"No. It does not matter now. You have already gone against my instruction."
"But I can put them back on," I said.
"No. It's alright. You have the jeans off so you'd might as well leave them."
It was very hard for me to understand why he was so unhappy.
He had just then finished saying that I was the most beautiful woman that he had ever seen. But now I came to understand more.
"More than anything I want a woman who will listen to me. I want a beautiful woman like you who can be trained to please me in every way. But most of all what pleases me is a woman who obeys. I would be more thrilled even if you were not so beautiful, as long as you obeyed."
To tell you the truth, at this point I thought he was a little weird. I mean it was suddenly so heavy and so deeply psychological.
"I will have to punish you for your act."
I could not say a word. I mean I just could not get the words to come out.
What was this?
I meam, was I a little child who was going to get spanked for taking down her pants.
"Come closer to me," he said. I walked toward him now.
He reached down for something in his pants. I could not see as it was too dark. I heard a click and saw him holding something that shimmered in his hands. But I did not dare to ask him what it was.
"That's a good baby. Come right over here."
Suddenly I stood right in front of him. Our bodies nearly touched.
"Ah, not too close," he said as I felt his firm cock touch the wet crack of my vagina.
I reached down to touch him.
"Baby wants to suck. But not yet."
Suddenly I felt cold ,metal wrap around my wrist. My hands were clasped tight together. I was so surprised that it took a moment for me to get my mind together. It was even difficult to utter a word.
"Handcuffs, darling," he told me, realizing that my mind had stopped.
"Bondage," I said out loud.
"Are you shocked."
Again I could not speak. I have to admit that I felt very excited. For a long time now, bondage has been a great fantasy to me. It is difficult to explain why.
"You will like everything I am going to do to you," he said.
I knew for sure he was correct.
As he bound my legs with rope, I could not tell him how deeply I craved this experience. But suddenly I felt totally satiated and complete. It allowed me to surrender in a way I have never been able to do before.
His naked flesh pressed against my body.
The ropes were so tight that they almost burned. He put his mouth to the nipples of my breast. He sucked them hard into his mouth.
"Ah, that's good," I said.
He increased the pressure.
"Ah, that hurts," I cried."
But that did not stop him. Instead, he increased the pressure.
"For your own pleasure," he said.
I knew that he was right.
"Ahhhhh," I cried, but I would not tell him to stop.
He dipped his fingers into my honey pot and began to twist on my throbbing cunt the same way he was now twisting on my nipples.
"Ahhhh," I screamed, very loud.
"Are you coming," he asked.
"Yes. I'm coming hard," I cried.
It was incredible.
"And I haven't even started with you yet."
"Ah. It's so damn good. I can't believe how hard I came."
He held my body close. He was very gentle with me now.
"Wait until I get inside your cunt."
"Please do it soon," I begged.
"No, my darling. Slow, very slow."
"I love what you do to me. You make me feel so hot and so erotic."
"I don't want you to talk any more, so I am going to have to gag you," he said as he stuffed my mouth with dry cotton and wrapped a scarf around my mouth.
"Just trust me. I love to give women pleasure and everything I do for you is only for your own good."
I let out an enormous scream, from sheer excitement as his huge cock entered into my hungry cunt. I was glad that my mouth was stuffed. There was no way that I wanted to attract attention from any one who might be passing by the lonely beach.
His huge cock ripped into my cunt. . He pounded deep inside of me. Just when I felt I had enough and came very hard, he would start right in again, twisting and turning with his enormous piece. He went on like that for hours. And when he had finished with my cunt hole he went right into my ass.
The amazing thing was the way my asshole opened to him so easily. Oh, I had tried to have anal sex many times before in my life. But always it was a very unsuccessful attempt. The usual thing that would happen was great pain.
But now that huge piece of his that was still full and throbbing and very erect was sliding smoothly in and out of me.
"Smooth as silk. God. It's a damn good ass you have," he moaned in ecstasy as he came.
I never saw the man again after he dropped me a block away from my house. I didn't want to take the chance of John seeing me get out of a strange man's car.
I came to suspect that the reason he never took my number was that he may be married with kids. I guess I had to give some reason to myself. Women are not as detached as men and they do get a bit more sentimental after sex. I keep thinking I can change my pattern. But it seems to be useless.
Anyway, I do think I have learned something out of all this. There's no doubt in my mind that I have to be with a strong, highly sexual man in order to be happy. I know that I will not be able to find a man like this to have any long term relationship with if I am to continue to walk the streets. I mean most men want a hooker only for a few hours and not for a life long experience.
CONCLUSION
I feel it is quite wonderful that our subject has come to the point of her sexual development where she is able to accept the fact that she is a submissive woman. Being of this type, she will always be most satisfied by a man who is quite aggressive, and who is willing to dominate her completely. Obviously, John, her husband of only a few months, is all wrong for her. She was terribly correct to suspect that they were different sexual types. But what is so unfortunate in this case is that she did not give herself the opportunity to engage in sex with him before their marriage.
No doubt she had her suspicions then and was afraid of finding out the truth and being disappointed. Obviously she had thought at the time that the security of marriage bonds was important to her. However, after getting what she thought she wanted she found out that she had made a mistake.
A terrible mistake.
I encouraged her to think about a separation and to make a new start. She was not certain that she was ready for this at the moment as she said she always found change to be difficult. And while John maybe be boring, he sure as hell was terribly consistent. And she thought she did need someone like this around her.
Besides, she claimed that she was afraid that she would not find any one who was both intensely sexual and who wanted to have anything more than a one night stand. I see great truth in what she has said on this issue. But I have always firmly believed that one must take a chance, that one must first give up what is not working in their life in order for something else to enter in. The period of waiting for the right sex partner to come along will of course be painful. But she has a choice between a short period of loneliness and a slow death of monotony with John. It will be interesting to see which she picks.
CASE HISTORY SIX
SUBJECT: TRACY K. AGE: Twenty-eight
INTERVIEW ONE
Tracy was sent to me by her physician after she had complained for a long period of time about the problem of migraine headaches. Since her physician was not able to find any physical reason for these headaches, he came to the conclusion that they may be resulting from some psychological problem.
Tracy was quite hesitant about coming to see me. She had already broken two appointments and I had come to the point where I did not think we'd ever meet. But one afternoon she called up and asked if I could fit her into my busy schedule that afternoon.
Tracy is a rather beautiful woman with movie star good looks. She has long jet black hair that reaches almost to her tight boyish ass. She is rather small boned and lean, giving a dainty, fragile impression. There is something terribly vulnerable about this young beautiful woman that really brought out my protective feeling toward her.
As got up from her seat in the waiting room and walked into my office, I noticed at once that she was not wearing a bra. Her rather large firm breasts were covered by a sheer white silk blouse. I could see that she was excited about our meeting as her nipples were very stiff, standing out about a half inch from underneath the sheer white silk.
For the first time in many years I have to admit that I was extremely turned on by one of my patients. Usually it is a feeling that leaves me with a great deal of guilt. But once I got in touch with my desire I found it easy to control and in fact, I began to realize the reaction that Tracy must stir up in many men she meets.
First of all, I want to apologize for having broken two of our appointments in the last week. And it was extremely kind of you to reschedule me for this afternoon. I guess the reason I was so hesitant about coming to see you was that I knew that I would be wasting your time and mine if I i didn't tell you the truth about what has been bothering me.
The pain of my headaches has been extremely intense. I have been up so many nights suffering terribly. I realize that it is not a physical problem. I know enough from my freshman psychology courses at college that my problem is a result of repression.
It has taken me a very long time to figure out exactly what it is I'm repressing. It has something to do with sex. I'm just sure of that. Maybe I just agree with the things that Freud said and wrote about. I really do believe that we are all sexual creatures and that when we have frustrations it manifests physically.
It took me a very long time to honestly confront what I was holding back in my mind. But I've finally come to some conclusions. I knew that only when I would be ready to discuss these things openly that I could make an appointment with you.
I don't want you to think I don't have a good sex life. Everything with me and my boyfriend Jim is just great. We've been seeing each other for about a year now.
As far as I'm concerned, sex with us is getting better and better.
Every day.
I remember when I first met him I was really very inhibited. I had been raised in a very religious, strict home. My family was right wing conservative. I was afraid to even have a sexual thought. But all that sexual energy that I was holding back really got released after I got started with Jim.
It's not just the fact that Jim is an excellent lover. I mean there are a lot of guys out there who know a hell of a lot about technique. I had been with lots of men who had read every sexual manual written.
Every one of them."
They practiced what they had learned. They loved rubbing me and playing with my big tits. There was even a time there when I had five lovers at one time.
I used to love the way I'd feel hot and dirty taking a cab from one lover's apartment to another's. Sometimes I would make love with all five in one night and never once be exhausted.
Probably the reason I never got tired was that I never came.
I used to hate to think that possibly I was frigid. The word itself was just enough to give me the creeps.
I was really desperate to have a climax. I was always horny. I was always just on the verge. But I could not let myself to just release and really let go.
"Would you let me tie you up?" Jim asked the first night he made love to me.
"What the hell are you talking about?" I said.
"Come on. Don't tell me you're such an innocent."
"I'm not innocent, Jim. But no one has ever asked to tie me up before."
"It can really be a very beautiful experience," he said.
He was trying to make it all sound like a very normal activity.
"Well, what would you do to me if I let you tie me up. I want to know exactly what I'm getting myself into."
"That's the thrill of the whole experience."
"I'm sorry. But I don't seem to understand what you're getting at."
"Well, when you're all tied up it will be easy for you to give up all your inhibitions and really let your feelings go wild."
I didn't know that it was so obvious to him that I was kind of up tight. I mean maybe it was true that I did fuck around a lot and I did have lots of sexual experience. But the only reason I had done that was so that I could find a man who could really satisfy me.
It seemed apparent that Jim just might know a few tricks there that would really turn me on.
Turn me on enough to make me come.
The idea of a great orgasm was all I needed to agree.
He took me to the back room of his apartment.
He had lots of mirrors set up there.
He told me to put my black lace panties back on, that it would look more erotic. I did what he told me to do.
"Now, don't worry. I will not do anything that will really hurt you."
"You better not."
"I know exactly what I'm doing. I'm very experienced at this."
"Oh, yeah. Who do you do it to?"
"That's none of your business."
His tone was rather reprimanding and firm. I liked it when he put me down. I didn't know why. Maybe it made me feel safe. Maybe it reminded me of how my father spoke to me or something like that. I'm not saying that all the emotions I was feeling could be classified as emotionally healthy. I'm just trying to tell you how I felt as unemotionally as I can.
I really trusted him when he said he wouldn't hurt me. I watched as he bound my hands behind my back. I was totally passive now. There was nothing I could do but keep myself relaxed. And this I was. I was surprisingly relaxed. There was no pressure on me to do anything but be completely, totally passive and to enjoy what was about to happen to me.
Jim took off all his clothes. He had just come with me a half hour before this but his cock was hard again. Now I watched as he bound my feet far apart.
It was only a few minutes before his big cock took me from behind.
"Look at yourself in the mirror," he said.
He kept twisting in and out of my hot cunt. He was getting me turned on.
And I was really hot and wet with the juices that he kept pounding into me. . It was really hot.
He kept pulling my breasts. I felt something inside of me - give up - and surrender my will
"Oh gosh, it feels good," I moaned. He twisted on my big red nipples as his rod kept ramming deep inside of me.
"I can't believe it."
"What can't you believe?"
"I can't believe how good it is."
"How good is it. Tell me."
"It's the best cock in the whole world." He kept pounding into me.He kept pulling on my breasts.
I felt something inside of me surrender totally to him. It was hard to believe I had found such a wonderful cock that could really fuck me the way I needed to be fucked. It was hard to believe that I had found a gorgeous man who understood psychologically just exactly how I needed to be turned on.
My mind stopped. Suddenly I felt a thousand spasms go off inside my cunt. It was as though something full and wonderful had exploded right inside of me. The walls of my vagina collapsed. I could feel his sperm mixing with my juices, flowing down my thighs.
He held me very close as the spasms continued and my pussy lips hugged his cock. He kept me very close. I did not move. Within a few minutes he was very hard again pushing deep inside of me. He really gave my honey pot the greatest workout of my life. Over and over again he made me come. It was the greatest ecstasy I had ever known.
I was extremely grateful for the experience. I have to admit that it has made me feel completely and totally dedicated to this man and there is nothing that I would not do for him for him.
But the problem I have now will seem very silly to you, now that I have told you just how fabulous I found Jim to be sexually. I don't exactly know how to put this. But for some reason I am really very much afraid to have sex with him. Oh, I finally go through with it. and I tell you, it gets better and better each time we do it.
So, why I go through all this agonizing pain before he ties me up is beyond anything I can understand. I'm almost positive that this is the reason I have been getting so many headaches recently.
INTERVIEW TWO
Tracy returned to my office a few weeks later. Again, as before, she had broken a few of her appointments. But I realized she probably had a good reason and that she did not return for another session until she was certain that she could be honest with me and herself.
I have to tell you that I've really been feeling fabulous since I last saw you. Again, let me apologize for not showing up for my appointments. I was unable to come only because Jim decided to try out an experiment on me.
I guess that you could say that what he did to me was not just for my own pleasure but for his own enjoyment as well.
You see, I decided, after I last left your office that it would be a good idea to let Jim know what was going on with me. I guess I was suffering from a great deal of guilt. After having a great time with him in bed I would feel as though there was something very dirty and wrong about enjoying myself too much.
"Maybe what you need is to get tied up for a few days."
"I don't see where that would change things Jim."
"Well, why don't we just try it out."
"Look. I know exactly what would happen. We would have a fabulous few days. Then when it was all over I would just start to feel guilty all over again. I think it has to do with going to Catholic school for so many years. The feeling of guilt is so deep into me that I'm afraid that I may never be able to get rid of it."
I started to cry. The whole thing suddenly felt so terribly hopeless."
"Look Baby. Why don't you have a little trust in me."
"I think you just like the idea of having me tied up in your bed for a few days."
"The truth of the matter is that I really love the idea. Every time I feel a little horny I can just climb on top of you and ram my cock in."
The very thought of his hard cock pounding into me was enough to make me want to come right now.
Jim started to undo his pants. I guess the whole idea was really exciting to him too. He unzipped my fly and started to work his fingers into my twat.
"Look how nice and wet you are," he said massaging my clit. I took hold of his cock. He bent me down to suck.
"Ah, suck that big cock of mine. You do it so good."
I sucked and sucked as though my mouth was a vacuum cleaner. He st irted pounding hard down inside my throat. Then suddenly he filled my mouth with a wad of his hot cream. I held it in my mouth a few minutes. It tasted like the finest champagne. Then slowly I let the thick cream slide down my throat.
He threw me down on the floor and quickly slid his piece deep inside of me. He pounded deep into the depths of my cunt. I came in only a few seconds. He was still hard and I couldn't believe it.
"You're incredible," I said.
"Why's that?"
"You just came and now you're hard again."
"You're the only girl that I can do that with."
"Why is that," I asked him. Maybe I was begging for a compliment. But I really wanted to know the answer.
"Gosh, you don't seem to understand very much."
"Sometimes I don't think I do."
He held me close in his arms as his cock rubbed hard on my clitoris. I felt as though I would come in a second. But I wasn't tied up. The guilt of pleasure would be too great and I knew, like always, I wouldn't be able to really get it off. The feeling was so intense. I felt so horny and so excited. If only I could learn to come hard without being tied up. If only I could get myself to release in the position we were in right then
"Don't you know that sex with you is better than with any other woman I have ever known."
I had no idea that Jim felt this way. He was not the kind of man who could express emotion easily. Oh sure I knew he was fond of me. I guess, I'm not much of a mind reader.
"You're not very perceptive, honey."
"Why don't you just tell me what you think it is I should know?"
He kept thrusting in and out of me. The juices were flowing so fast that there was this wonderful gushing sound. My clit was really getting massaged. I felt wonderful and very open. I only wished he would say what was on his mind.
"I love you Tracy. I really do. I love you with all my heart and soul. That's why sex is best with you."
Suddenly I climaxed. It was as though the universe was gushing inside my cunt.
"Eeeew," I screamed real loud. "I'm coming real hard."
It was a fabulous experience we had that night and it went on and on. I came to realize that knowing a man loves you is enough to take away any sexual guilt for a woman.
I did allow Jim to tie me up. But now it was different. No longer did I feel he was tying me up because I need it that way, and I guess that made the game much more fun. My whole body was open to him for days and he could use me at his convenience. I have to admit that I did not feel used. I felt that it was his wonderful way of adoring me. I am beginning to understand a lot more about my own sexuality lately. One thing I have come to understand is that for me love and sex are the same thing and I don't think I would ever be able to separate them. Not that I look down on people who can or anything like that. But all I know for sure is that my migraines have gone away.
CONCLUSION
Tracy made great strides very quickly in the development of her sexuality. Guilt is a difficult problem that holds back many people. It is my belief that individuals set up their own guilt as a protection from situations which they feel they can not deal with psychologically.
In this case Tracy was quite fortunate to be able to develop a steady relationship with a man who had great insight and understanding, and no doubt a capacity to love and feel. There is no doubt in my mind that these honest emotions, and the ability to express them is the basis for a healthy sexual relationship, devoid of fear.
CASE HISTORY SEVEN
SUBJECT: KITTY O. AGE: Twenty-five
INTERVIEW ONE
Kitty O. is an extremely attractive, intelligent and articulate young woman. She came to my office rather properly dressed in a pale green tweed suit. Her strawberry blond hair was cut fashionably at the shoulders and her skirt hit right below the knees. Her shoes and bag were of the finest Italian leather. Her speech revealed that she had been to the finest schools.
My first impression told me that this was another proper young woman who suffered from intense sexual guilt. I imagined that she had taken up with some oversexed young man who was forcing her, against her will to partake in all kinds of sexual fetishes.
I soon learned that you can not tell a book by its cover, and beneath Kitty's veneer of properness there was a wild passionate woman whose sexuality knew no bounds.
I've been heavily into sex for a long time. When I was twelve I had an affair with my Uncle who was visiting us from London. He was a very aristocratic a proper man, but he initiated me into the ways of deep eroticism.
My Uncle was a distinguished lawyer with the finest manners. He was kind and he was gentle. But beneath the mask of civility, he was a wild animal whose passion knew the greatest depths. He was a man of about forty at the time. I can remember how I thought of his as such an old man. But his body was lean and muscular and I was most attracted to him from the very beginning.
In the beginning of his stay my Uncle Robert would take me on outing to all the museums. He knew a great deal about art. But his specialty was in the area of erotic paintings.
I knew nothing about the birds and the bees at the time. And I am not exaggerating at all when I say nothing. I had not even begun to menstruate at the time and my mother had made no effort to prepare me for my approaching womanhood.
There was a very intense physical connection between Robert and myself right from the start. He used to treat me just like a very young child. I was very small for my age and must have seemed more like a child. Sometimes he would have me sit on his knee and he would bounce me up and down. Once day he put his finger gently into my blouse and placed his finger on my little blossom of a breast.
"Does that feel good," he asked me.
I pretended that there was nothing at all wrong with what he was doing to me. After all he was my Uncle, I rationalized to myself and why shouldn't I let him touch me if he wants.
"Ahuh, I answered, as though I hardly noticed. Now his finger twisted my nipple just a little. It felt absolutely wonderful when he cupped his hand around the little mound and began rubbing it.
Suddenly I felt this wonderful twitching sensation right in my clitoris. This must have been the first time I was aware of the fact that there was a wonderful urgent sensation that I could have between my legs. My panties began to feel rather moist.
My skirt was rather short. My smooth thighs were spread wide apart. I remember how I suddenly began humping on his knee, innocently not knowing that I was trying to make myself come.
Uncle Robert lifted my skirt and pulled my cotton panties down. All I knew was that it felt sensational as he started rubbing gently on my hairless cunt.
"Eeeew," I sighed.
"Baby loves that, doesn't she?"
I bounced harder and harder. It was all so instinctive.
"No one is home," he told me. So why don't we go into the bedroom where we can be more comfortable.
He lifted me up in his arms and held me very close. But his long finger never left my wet little cunt. He kept massaging it and I cooed like a little child.
He brought me into my parents room and locked the door behind him, before placing me down on the large king sized bed.
My hungry pussy wanted to be filled. That was all I knew.
"Just relax," Uncle Robert told me. I was relaxed. Terribly so. I trusted this man with my life. I had absolutely no fear at all that he would ever hurt me. but I can not tell you the thrill of doing something such as this for the first time.
At this point my Uncle took out thick leather ropes. At first I was extremely frightened. But he was very reassuring and told me not to think twice about what was happening.
"You won't hurt me, Uncle Robert," I cried.
"Don't worry, darling, what I am going to do to you will give you extreme pleasure."
He told me to turn over and placed me like a dog on all fours. Then he bound my body up in this position.
"Now are you comfortable?" he asked.
"I'm alright," I said. But still I was extremely frightened.
He told me again to relax. I tried to obey everything he said.
"Now listen to me, Kitty," he said. " If you obey me totally and if you leave all the muscles of your body very relaxed, then what I am going to do to you will not hurt. Do you hear me?"
"Yes, Uncle."
I heard him unzip his fly. I was too frightened to turn around. But then from a side mirror in the room, I was suddenly able to see everything he was about to do to me. At first as he rubbed it gently against my anus.
"Be very relaxed he said."
"Eeeew," I screamed. He had shoved his enormous cock deep inside my tiny little asshole. I don't think I can remember ever feeling anything so terribly painful in all my life. It was the most excruciating pain I have ever felt in all my life and I thought surely I would die.
He held very still for awhile. Then suddenly the muscles relaxed. He moved in and out of me carefully and very slowly. In a few minutes it started to feei good. I told him so and this seemed to please him very much.
For many years I thought that this was the only way to have sex. As I remember it it was extremely lovely after he had moved deep inside of me. But to tell you the truth, I have had a fear of sex for many years.
Now I am seeing a young man who is very gentle and caring and kind. I never told him exactly what happened to me with my Uncle. Now the problem that I am having is that this man whose name is Jerry told me that the favorite way that he likes to have sex is in the ass.
Well, you can just imagine all the terrible memories it brought back to me. That's pretty much what my problem is now and I hope that there is some way that I can overcome my fears so that I can bring this kind of pleasure to my boyfriend.
INTERVIEW TWO
He asks me if I have given some thought to the idea of having anal sex.
"What kind of a thing is that to discuss right in the middle of a beautiful dinner?" I asked him. I really was quite shocked at the impropriety of it all.
"You are so prim and proper," he told me.
"The word is refined," I answered back.
"And that is exactly what is wrong now with our sex life."
"I can't see anything wrong with the way things are going on, just the way they are," I
"If you ask me," he said, "I think our sex life is getting rather boring."
"That' is an absolutely rotten thing to say. There is no doubt in my mind that you have no real feelings for me."
"The fact is that I love you very much and I just want you to come to a new level of sexual development."
"And what is that supposed to mean?" I asked him.
"I think that what you have to come to learn now is just how to surrender yourself more to me."
"But I am totally surrendered to you. I love you with all my heart. I just can't see why you get off so much on anal sex. If you ask me I think it is all very strange and that it is you who have the problem and not me."
"Well, lets just try it. You have to remember that when you were raped" by your Uncle things were much different. For one thing, you're older now and I think your body can handle having my big cock up your ass much better."
The truth of the matter was that I think my boyfriend thought he was turning me on by talking this way. But the only one he was turning on was himself.
I looked down at his crotch and saw that he had a huge erection. He was moving his thighs back and forth in a way that told me he was rubbing himself.
At that moment I was really shocked. Right in the middle of dinner he undid his fly and pulled out his piece. It was so much larger than I had ever seen it before. It really was throbbing. He began playing with it in his hand. I got up, threw my napkin down on the table, went for my coat and attempted to leave. He remained seated and continued playing with his prick.
I went for the door. It was locked. Two fierce looking muscular men came into the hall way. They must have been over six feet tall. It was nothing for them to lift me up and carry me off to the bedroom. There I was gagged. My body was tied with my ass turned up. I knew exactly what I was in for and I was terrified. When I was well bound my boyfriend came into the room. The two men remained.
"Ah, very good. I like the way you bound her." He leaned over to me and gently stroked my hair. I was crying with my head in the pillow. I could never believe that he was so cruel to do such a thing to me.
The two men asked if they should leave. But my boyfriend said that it was just fine to stay.
"Make yourself at home," he said.
I guess that gave them permission to take out their own large cocks and begin to play with it. This they did as my boyfriend gently massaged my cunt.
"I'll get your pussy nice and wet before I do anything else."
His hot cock shoved deep into my cunt. I was so dry. But in a few minutes, as he worked it in and out, I started to get wet. It even began to feel very good.
"Do not come yet," he demanded.
It was extremely hard for me to hold back from having an orgasm.
"Please let me come," I pleaded.
"No. You will wait. Trust me. I will make you feel very good."
My whole body began to relax. It was wonderful.
"Just pretend that your whole body is floating gently on a cloud."
I listened to every word he spoke. His voice was gentle and it was kind. I hardly noticed when his huge cock slid swiftly into my well lubricated ass.
"How does it feel?" he asked.
"It hurts a little," I told him.
"Just stay relaxed and you'll be alright." He moved in slowly in and out. Then when I was ready for it he exerted more pressure. Something inside of me released. I felt as if I my cunt to have another orgasm. Juices from my count began to flow.
"Put the dildo into her now," my boyfriend demanded now. The two men came over to my side. One shoved his huge prick into my mouth stuffing it up completely. The other took a rubber cock and put it inside my wet hungry cunt that wanted to come so very badly now.
"Turn on the switch," he said.
Suddenly I felt a thousand vibrations going on inside of me at once.
It was absolutely incredible. I never came so hard in all my life. Meanwhile my boyfriend's fabulous big cock kept filling my ass up completely.
"Do you love it?"
I wouldn't tell him. He yanked me by my hair and pressed his piece in deeper and deeper.
Again he asked if I liked his big cock up my ass. I still wouldn't answer. I knew what I was doing. I knew very well that I was getting him to act fiercer and fiercer. I guess I really like him that way. I guess that he was right that this did bring me to a new level of sexual development. He no longer was this milk toast weakling. Something in me let go and I came all over again.
"Eeeew, it's good. It's so good I can't stand it," I screamed very loud. The truth of the matter is that it was so good that I really could not stand it and that is exactly what is worrying me right now. I have come to the realization that I do love to be dominated by a man. The reason that I enjoyed having anal sex so much was that' it was a way for me to surrender to domination. I never knew I wanted this. I never knew it was something which I needed so desperately.
But the problem is that it all seems to be in conflict with my self image on a day to day basis. I like to think of myself as being very strong and very independent. I have always fought for woman's liberation. So, therefore, the whole idea of male domination is intellectually repulsive to me.
But in my heart and especially in my cunt I know that the way I feel now about wanting to be dominated is totally correct.
CONCLUSION
Although Kitty O. could, in most ways, be considered sexually liberated, the conflict that she is having is a serious problem. I have come to the belief that it is most usually a woman's nature to submit and to want to be dominated. Of course, as everything else , there are always exceptions to the rule. But in my experience this is the tendency. The fact that this attitude is a contradiction to the pressures of society is something which we must begin to deal with and understand.
I have found that most woman who have come to this understanding, regarding their true sexual natures must come to terms with their nine to five existence. They have come to learn that it is alright to be one way to the world, where certain defenses are necessary and required. But in bed, with the man they have surrendered to, it is perfectly alright for them to play the part, their true role, as the willing slave.
CASE HISTORY EIGHT
SUBJECT: MARIE R. AGE: Twenty-six
INTERVIEW ONE
Marie had phoned me for an appointment telling me that she had some information to share, which she felt would be helpful to the general population of woman. I felt that this was very altruistic of her and decided to make time immediately to see her.
Marie is a lovely young woman. She has a fresh glow of youth and innocence. Her hair is cut short in blond curls. Her small features and large blue eyes give her the look of being a waif.
I have had some very wonderful sexual experiences that I would like to share with someone who is a professional. I really feel that what has happened to me can be a step for other women to get over their sexual inhibitions.
There had been a long time that I've been very timid and shy. I guess the fact that I look so young has always made people treat me like a baby. When I'd go out with a guy, he would always try to be so protective to me. All my girlfriends always thought that I was very lucky in this way and they even said that they were envious.
The truth of the matter was that I had an urgent need to have a man be rough with me. It was not that I did not like being touched gently and having someone be very kind to me in bed. That's all very nice. But I just knew that what I really wanted was for someone to treat me a little bit rough so that they could get me excited. I always felt that I needed to be a little frightened of a guy to have this happen.
The truth of the matter is that I have a great deal of trouble having a climax. Oh, I've had them once or twice with guys. But that's usually the exception. Sometimes I'm just about to come but I'm just not hot enough. So maybe you can begin to understand why I began to have this desperate need for someone who could really treat me the way I needed to be treated.
My search was hopeless and I figured I'd never be able to find what I was really looking for. One day I was ready this Village newspaper. I came to the back section and saw an ad where a couple was looking for another woman to engage in bondage.
All of a sudden I felt very erotic and hot. I was all alone in my room and I decided to pull down my panties and begin to massage my twat. I don't think I've ever felt my pussy so terribly moist.
I began to fantasize what it would be like to make it with a couple who was into bondage. It took no time at all before I was coming over and over again. All I had to do was think of my little body bound beautifully in black leather straps and I came again.
That night I wrote a letter to the couple. I explained that I had no experience with these things but that it was one of my greatest fantasies. I decided that I should send a photo. So, I took my instant camera out of the closet and filled it with film.
Then I sat down on a large bear skin rug and spread my legs far apart so that they could have a good beaver shot of my twat. It really turned me on to see how beautiful and pink my twat was. The fine blond hair framed it beautifully. My little breasts looked good too.
My nipples were hard and very large.
I put my finger into my pussy and gave a look of deep ecstasy. Then I took the shot. It came out in a minute. It was really beautiful. It was so good and erotic that it made me massage my clit again. I came so hard I thought I died.
"Eeeew, it feels so good," I said out loud, pretending to myself that the couple was with me in the room. I fantasized all over again about what would happen when we were together. It would be the first time that I have ever actually been with a woman. For although I have known for a long time that I am bi-sexual I have never found the right woman to be with. I was interested to meet this lady.
I feel quite certain that they will call me soon. I have only sent them in my picture yesterday. But I looked so hot and sexy that I don't think that they will be able to resist me. Anyway, time will tell. I'm looking forward to meeting with you next week so that I can continue with my fabulous story.
INTERVIEW TWO
Marie returned to my office looking just wonderful. She looked even more radiant than she had the time before. She wore a revealing, low-cut dress that showed off her lovely figure. And her hair seemed to be cut in a new style. Her vibration was very up and I knew for certain that she had met with the couple who had advertised for another sex partner in the newspaper. I can't begin to tell you what a fabulous time I had with Phil and Mary. That's the couple I told you about who are into bondage. Well, they finally called me. They asked if I would come over immediately as they were very excited to meet me. They live in the suburbs so I figured that it would be impossible for me to get over there that night.
But they were very kind and said that they would come out and pick me up and that I should plan on staying over for the night.
A white Mercedes met me at the front of my apartment. They looked like the most elegant and dignified couple you could possibly imagine. They, were both in their early forties. But they were both so attractive and in very good shape.
I got into the back seat with Mary, while Phil drove back to their house "Isn't she just lovely," Mary said to Phil as she massaged my neck affectionately. I couldn't believe how comfortable I felt in the situation. It was just as if I had known them for many years.
I think that they were extremely considerate and understanding when they tried to prepare me for what was to go on.
"You can't imagine how happy we are to have you join our little family," Mary told me.
"I think you'll feel very much at home with us. We do a lot of original creative things and have really been very successful about initiating new people into this scene," Phil said.
"I think it took a great deal of courage for you to answer that ad. We have to admit that we do not get all that many responses."
"I guess I always knew that I was the submissive type. But it was always a big fantasy. Then one day I decided that you just can't spend your whole life thinking about what you would like to do. You have to live life. You have to go out and do all the things you ever wanted to do."
"I think that's fabulous that you can be so honest with yourself at such a young age," Mary said.
Now she was massaging my leg.
"You seem to have a great deal of tension in your body."
"I do?"
"Don't worry about it," the lovely lady said. "We'll give you a really good massage when you come back to the house."
"Sounds great."
"Oh you'll love it."
"Makes me feel like I'm going to a real health farm."
"In a way I guess you are. We have hot tubs and saunas and all kinds of wonderful things like that."
It was only a short while before we entered the beautiful sprawling ranch. Everything was just exquisite. I was so impressed by the splendid decor as they led me into a mirrored room.
In a few minutes I was chained and gagged. To my surprise so was Phil. Mary undressed, revealing an exquisite figure. Her breasts were so large that I suspected silicone.
Almost spontaneously, she shoved a nipple in each one of our mouths, as we were chained side by side. It was a great feeling to have her nipple in my mouth. I sucked hard. I guess I wanted more. Then the woman stood over us and we each had our turn to eat her out. Phil seemed to know exactly how to suck her clit to bring her to climax.
I tried to watch carefully what he was doing. I wanted to learn every trick to bring my new master pleasure.
"This is only the beginning she told me as she shoved a leather dildo into my hot cunt. Then she move behind me and shoved a butt plug up my ass. He turned on a switch and they both vibrated.
I screamed in ecstasy as she lifted her long lean black booted leg and made me kiss the soles of her feet. She pulled on my nipples very hard and made me come again.
I screamed again, but my voice was muffled from the gag.
"You are going to be very good," she told me. " But we will have to train and discipline you to bring you to better and better orgasms."
I couldn't believe how kind and caring this wonderful Mistress was. She really was very professional.
"You are lucky you have found me. For I will bring you past your limits. You are becoming a servant "of sexual pleasure. The ecstasy you will know will bring you close to death. And being close to death you will know great ecstasy. Your life will be lived on the razor's edge. It will never be boring and dull. Few have come to know what we have in store for you."
Her words thrilled me. I felt great courage and wanted to explore the depths of passion. Her cat of nine tails lashed against my ass until it was very raw. The burning became terrible. But I would not cry for her to stop.
"Ah, you are brave," she said, cracking the whip now on her husband a few times. I watched his penis grow very erect. In seconds he was coming. The wet fluid fell to the ground. In a minute he was hard again.
But she returned her attention to me. My ass now burned terribly. He took the long leather strap of the whip and rubbed it hard into my twat. My pussy juices flowed down my leg. The whip's pain turned to ecstasy and I had learned that pain and pleasure were but two sides of the same coin.
CONCLUSION
It was very interesting to meet a woman such as Marie who has accepted her submissive nature to such a degree. She claims to be quite fulfilled and satisfied in a way that she has never known before.
At the same time she manages to hold down a very demanding and responsible job where she maintains the dominant role. I think that it is true that Marie is an example of a woman who has learned to deal with her true sexual nature without it conflicting with the demand of society.
GENERAL CONCLUSION
Our studies have found that the great majority of the woman in America enjoy fantasizing about playing the submissive role. We feel that this is generally the result of growing up in a culture that promotes the Protestant Ethic. Woman have been made to feel guilty for having lusty thoughts and desires. As a result they find it most easy to satisfy their desires if they are either put into bondage or into a subservient role.
In addition to the problem of guilt, we are living in a society where sexual roles are unclear and need to be defined. Playing the submissive makes things clear. And as long as these situations are not taken to the ultimate extreme and limits are respected, we see no problem in fulfilling such fantasies.
