"My little book told me all the information about the clients, so as soon as Barnaby walked in I had a glass of scotch and soda waiting for him-his favorite booze. His eyebrows shot up in surprise.
" 'My goodness,' he said, half joking, 'you certainly must have gotten the rundown on me.'
"I passed on that one and gave him a wink. He walked to the penthouse bay window, and calmly looked out at the San Francisco lights. I walked up behind him and kissed him on the back of the neck. As he turned around, I kissed him on the front of his neck, then on his cheek. I usually try to get my Johns into the sack as quickly as possible so as to have a few minutes left for myself at the end of the hour. I try to get them serviced in forty-five minutes instead of sixty.
"Barnaby polished off his scotch then reached around and unzipped my minidress. He pulled it off to reveal expensive undies. I pressed my hand against his crotch to make his prick swell quickly. His hands found my ass and squeezed the cheeks firmly as I continued to press and squeeze his prick.
"I began undoing his tie, then his shirt. By this time, he was breathing heavy, drawing my ass and hips against him hard. He wanted to feel my body in the raw, but I know exactly when to let a man see and feel me completely nude.
" 'Come,' I said teasingly, 'you must see my lovely bed. I'm sure you have seen nothing like it.'
"I led him into one of the two bedrooms. As he gazed at all the tapestries, colored lights and mirrors, he smiled.
" 'Very nice,' he commented. 'Very nice, indeed. You have excellent taste, my dear. Excellent. With these trappings I may be able to give you a couple good clients. Personal friends.
Lawyers. If you give them the usual good service they may stick with you. And now, you sexy bitch, let's see what nice, white skin covers your sweet ass.'
"I turned my back to him and slowly pulled my panties down while moving my hips around with a swiveling motion. As I stepped out of my panties, I felt his hands on my cheeks.
" 'You do have a nice ass,' he whispered. 'Better than the other girl. Of course, she was a few years older than you, but very well preserved. I wonder if your mouth is as good. Boy, you sure have a' sweet ass.'
"I turned toward him and completed taking off his clothes. His semi-hard on bobbed as I pulled his shorts down over it. I kissed the head of his prick, then moved up to his nipples and on up to a luscious French kiss. His hands went to my ass again and played with the cheeks as he sucked in my tongue, moaning softly as I felt his prick growing against my white soft body.
"I nudged him in the direction of the bed. It's a giant bed with special silk sheets. Indirect lighting spilled from the ceiling giving a soft cast to the entire room-a restful yet exotic atmosphere.
"Barnaby lay on the bed, and I lay on top of him. I began to kiss his shoulders, then inched my way down to his little pink nipples, placing soft kisses on one, then the other. He moaned with delight as my soft, wet lips made love to parts of his body his wife probably didn't even know existed.
"As I moved slowly downward, I paused awhile to place my tongue into his navel, swirling it for several moments as my fingers rubbed the swollen nipples on his hairy chest. Slowly my mouth moved down, down, down to his pubic hair. I pressed my teeth into the flesh lightly and nipped all across the top above his prick. I could feel his hot prick swelling and moving against my chin. He was moaning short cries of passion as I bit lightly into his flesh, which seemed to send warm sparks of sexual passion into his prick.
"My mouth moved into the crack between his balls and thigh. I kissed the inside of his thigh, the side of his prick where it joined the body, and then cupped his balls, kissing them individually as I shifted them gently in my fingers. I grasped his hard prick in one hand and held the sac of testicles in the other. Ever so carefully, I slowly moved my open mouth to his scrotum and guided one of his testicles into my hot mouth. Barnaby groaned with pleasure.
"My mouth closed slightly around his testicle, giving it the warmth and wetness of my mouth. I groaned as if having great thrills in playing with his genitals. I allowed the testicle to fall from my mouth and placed the other inside. My tongue moved across the hard oval as I sucked very lightly while squeezing his stiff prick. I kept that testicle in my mouth for several minutes, allowing it to fall into the back part of my mouth as my lips touched the underside of his prick.
"By now, Barnaby was quite passionate and out of his ever-loving mind from the stimulation he was receiving from my lips. He moaned his ecstasy constantly. I had to be careful not to give him a premature ejaculation.
"I let the testicle fall from my mouth, but continued to lick and suck on the scrotum as I held his prick up and taut. Gradually, I worked my mouth to the underside of his throbbing prick and kissed it all along its length to the tip. I returned to the base of the hard, spongy flesh and again retraced my path along the underside-the sensitive side-until reaching the very tip.
"Then, with sudden enthusiasm, I sucked all around the sides, the top, but never touching the head. His prick was bobbing and throbbing like he was shooting his load. When I work on a prick, it just gets stiffer and stiffer.
"I extended my tongue and licked along the sides of his prick as Barnaby moaned louder.
" 'Oh shit, baby,' he said, in an almost pitiful voice. 'My God! Oh, baby, are you doing things to me! Oh ... my prick feels like a burning hot poker. Ohhhhhhhh ... can you suck cock ... oh, my God, can you ever suck cock!'
"As he finished moaning out his words, I swallowed the head of his massive prick up to the circumcision line. I sucked lightly, rubbing my tongue on the underside near the head. I licked and sucked his sensitive penis head as Barnaby writhed with passion. Then, slowly, I lowered my mouth, taking in his entire prick into my hot, wet mouth. He moaned over and over again.
"'Ohhh,' he whimpered. 'Ohhh, my God. What a mouth ... oh, shit ... do you have a mouth. Yes, fuck me with your mouth ... oh, that's good ... oh yes ... are you good ... that's right, all the way, all the way. Take it all the way in. Damn, you sure can suck.'
"While I slowly took his huge prick into my mouth completely, one hand played with his balls as the other rubbed smoothly over his tummy just above his prick. Then I would encircle the area around his prick, squeezing the flesh on the pubic bone rhythmically. My mouth was thick with saliva, and it glided like silk up and down his shaft, deep into my throat. There was no rushing or frantic movements like you do when you're fucking. This was easy and graceful-a slow steady rhythm of caressing hands and sucking mouth.
"I took my time, working my mouth and tongue up and down the smooth skin of his massive sex tool, pausing for an extra beat when I reached the head, giving it added attention to bring his passion just one more notch closer to the final explosion which would rack his body with joyous ecstasy, leaving him limp, exhausted and feeling whole again.
"As I pushed downward, taking in his entire penis into my mouth, his hips made a subtle gesture toward my mouth, indicating the need for a more rapid pace. With ease and gentleness, I began to move my head up and down with a slightly increased tempo. The idea was to make it last as long as possible while perpetuating the sex stimulation, building him higher and higher without making him come fast. My job is to drag it out, so by the time he does come he feels like he has emptied his entire system!
"I sucked with a little more pressure and moved my kneading fingers slightly faster as his hips now began to bob up and down in little bouncing movements. He was on his way to heaven.
"I pressed my hands firmly onto his balls and tummy, keeping them rotating in a constant massaging pattern. My mouth sucked a bit harder on his stiff penis as my head bobbed up and down more rapidly. His balls drew up toward his body and his hips raised off the bed a few inches. As I kept up my steady rhythm of massaging his balls and the area around his prick, I rammed my head extra hard which plunged his meat a little deeper into my throat. He wailed his orgasm, screaming like a man being tortured the torture of the damned. I held my head motionless with his throbbing, spurting prick buried deep in my throat.
"That was my very first professional blow job. I could never even estimate how many I've given since dear Barnaby. I remember his name, you see because he was my first.
"Actually, when you come right down to it, I can't complain about my life. I may be a prostitute, but so what? My mother wasn't much better-in fact, I bet I'm better than she ever was. I take pride in my work, and am always looking for ways to improve my abilities and skills. I even take an extension correspondence course or two just to keep my mind active.
"If that's a look of pity on your puss, you can wipe it off right now! I live high, associate with the best people, and have a ball all the time. And I make one helluva living, too. What more could a girl want? So what if I don't get to see my son and let him know I exist-who cares?"
Probably one of the most extensive statistical research projects into the sexual behavior of humans could be considered those two monumental works by Alfred C. Kinsey and associates: Sexual Behavior in the Human Male and Sexual Behavior in the Human Female.
Although not clinical research as such, both works provided interesting and profitable research statistics for the scientific world, as well as providing interesting reading for the layman.
It is noteworthy that Kinsey's second work (Sexual Behavior in the Human Female, published in 1953 showed some revisions in the sexual outlooks of those interviewed. In reading the text, one can detect a more liberal sexual view presented in the interview, or one can assume that the women interviewed were telling more of the truth than their male counterparts in Kinsey's first efforts published in 1948.
For example, in the text on male sexual behavior, Kinsey reports that oral-genital contact is generally regarded as a taboo, while in his second work on female behavior he states: Although, as we have already noted, mouth-genital contacts are part of the precoital sex play of practically all mammals, such contacts are condemned in Judeo-Christian codes. In consequence, they are the last of the petting techniques to be accepted by males or females, for there are males as well as females who consider such activities biologically abnormal and perverse.
Kinsey further points out that, among the women interviewed who had not had extensive coital experience, around twenty percent had had mouth-genital contact. Those women with extensive coital experience had had upwards to forty-six percent such contact.
Even though cunnilingus (oral stimulation of the female genitals) and fellatio (oral stimulation of the male genitals) have become more accepted as a part of "normal sex," these acts are against the law of every state in the United States, whether the couple are married or not. Although our moral standards are fast reaching the twentieth century in outlook (while we are almost into the twenty-first), our legal and moral codes are several years behind.
Morris Ploscowe, in Duke University's quarterly Law and Contemporary Problems, spoke out vehemently against our present laws regarding sex: A rational code of sex-offense laws is long overdue in this country. Sex-offense legislation presently on the books is largely unenforceable and much of this legislation does a great deal more harm than good. There are a number of fundamental reasons for this. In the first place, the prohibitions imposed by these laws are far too inclusive, covering far too many areas of sexual behavior. These laws make potential criminals of most of the adolescent and adult population, in that they proscribe every conceivable sexual act except a normal act of coitus between a man and woman who are married to each other ... except an act of solitary masturbation.
Ploscowe goes on to point out that the laws in America are far more strict than those of Tudor England. He places the blame for this squarely on the heads of the churchmen who, as constituents, overwhelmingly influenced the legislators of their day. The laws to which Morris Ploscowe refers are still on the books.
The five case histories which have been compiled and are being presented herein are of five divorced women, who, for one reason or another, have chosen oral sex as their primary or only sexual act. It should be quite evident that since all five women are divorced, they are committing a sex offense each time they engage in sexual relations with a man. Since they all prefer either cunnilingus or fellatio to normal coitus, they could have been accused of breaking the. law when they indulged in their predilection with their husbands even before their divorces.
This predilection of the women in this book is legally termed sodomy. Webster's Third New International Dictionary of the English Language Unabridged (1967), published by G. & C. Merriam Co., defines sodomy as "carnal copulation with a member of the same sex or with an animal or unnatural carnal copulation with a member of the opposite sex; specif: the penetration of the male organ into the mouth or anus of another."
In Sex and the Statutory Law, Robert Veit Sherman, a New York attorney, states that sodomy is considered to be much more than mere anal or bestial carnal knowledge. In speaking of common masturbation, Sherman notes that ... to engage in what is called "Mutual Masturbation" is to engage in one of the most serious of all sex crimes with the exception of Rape, measuring the seriousness from the standpoint of the penalty. It would be and could be included in the "Crime Against Nature" or Sodomy Statutes, which are designed to mean and include acts far and beyond the original and common law definition of Sodomy. So broad are most of these statutes that they can be said to include almost any manner of sexual gratification other than the actual insertion of the Penis into the Vagina.
Further on, Sherman includes charts which indicate the various penalties for different sex offenses by each state. Averaging out the number of years each state requires a felon to remain in prison after having been convicted of sodomy in the context of a crime against nature rather than merely anal or bestial intercourse, the total number of years of imprisonment for the felony of performing cunnilingus by a husband on his wife or having her masturbate him could be ten or more years. That is only the average.
Georgia's sentence for sodomy is mandatory life in prison at hard labor; Connecticut considers the felony worth a thirty-year prison sentence, while Florida, Massachusetts, Minnesota, Nebraska and New York send the convicted away for twenty years. In North Carolina, the sentence can run from five to sixty years in prison.
While some progress is being made to review and rewrite our sex laws (some states have passed legislation which permits sexual relations between consenting adults, no matter of what sex), there are many professional lawmakers, psychiatrists, psychologists and scientists who feel we are not moving fast enough in the direction of more liberal sex laws.
For the most part, the five women presented here have what might be considered justifiable cause to be repulsed by coitus. Whether or not they are to be condemned for their desires and their actions is totally up to the reader and his conscience. It is hoped that some social benefit may come from the relating of these five unfortunate women's sexual problems.
CHAPTER ONE
Good-Neighbor Policy "Robert came home from the plant that day in his usual filthy clothes. He always smelled of oil or gasoline or some stupid damn stuff he uses at the factory. How I hated the smell of him when he got home from work. That particular day he had some kind of flu bug hit him right at work, in the middle of the day. That's how he caught me. But I won't get ahead of my story.
"Robert was never much of a lover. An example of how he was going to treat me occurred on our lovely wedding night. God, was that a bomb. Honestly, you talk about a fiasco ... that was it, and each time after that.
"He climbed into bed and came at me like a madman. Lust was written all over his rugged, tanned face. We hadn't done anything sexual all the while we went together-I wouldn't allow it. As a matter-of-fact, I hadn't had sex with anybody in my entire life up till then.
"He leered down at me, his huge dick hanging from above, wobbling around from his movements as he swayed. Tonight we pop the cherry!' he said, grinning from ear to ear. I was so damn scared I could hardly breathe. I loved Robert, and as far as I was concerned he could do anything with me he wanted. I was just scared of having sex for the first time. I was only twenty and still very naive about sex. I never petted, even when I felt hot as a pistol. My folks just brought me up to be fearful of getting pregnant.
" 'Please be gentle, Robert,' I said, whispering so low that I hardly heard myself.
"He didn't answer, but grabbed his prick in one hand and guided it into my slit, then replaced his hand on the bed near my head. I watched as his hips moved toward me with a controlled slow forward gesture. When he hit the tight opening, he stopped.
" 'This is gonna hurt some, baby,' he cautioned me. 'But after that it'll be smooth sailing. Just relax and let me do the work. You just take it easy.'
"His stiff prick pressed further, placing pressure on my hymen. It hurt. I closed my eyes and gritted my teeth in preparation for the worst. I was deeply in love with Robert, and if it was necessary to cut off one of my arms as part of the initiation, I would have let him do it.
"He kept poking gently at the tight opening as his breathing got heavier. Each time he poked, it hurt more, like something touching a sore over and over. Then, with a grunt he lunged forward, falling on his elbows and plunging that thick dick of his into me. I cried out between clenched teeth. My body went rigid. It was as though a wooden stake had been plunged into me! I was in agony!
" 'I can't hold back any more,' he said in a hoarse voice. 'Mmmmmmm, are you good. Oh, Helaine ... we were made for each other. Oh, shit, are you tight. Goddamn, are you tight. Oh, baby, what a fuck you are!'
"It was a nightmare. This wasn't the Robert I knew for ten months before that night; it was some ugly man who was ravaging me in the most horrifying manner. If this was intercourse, it wasn't for me. He hadn't been gentle-he lost control and screwed me like there was no tomorrow ... like I was an experienced whore who could take his pounding.
"I lay there, completely paralyzed with pain and hurt feelings. All that I remember of that night was the savagery that Robert displayed-ramming me again and again until he reached his orgasm.
"Our honeymoon lasted just twenty-four hours. Robert couldn't get off from work for any longer than that. So, the next night we were in our new home. And when we went to bed, I froze with fear just as soon as he began to squeeze my breasts. My vagina was still tender from the previous night's onslaught, and I didn't think I would be able to take his big prick in me. He played with my breasts for a few seconds and then mounted me with the same enthusiasm as the night before.
"This time, seeing my pained expression, he asked, 'Does it still hurt, honey?'
"I bit my lip, opened my mouth, and said quietly, 'Yes, but not as much.'
"Smiling, he slid his stiff prick in and out of my sore hole for several minutes, using a smooth, rhythmic motion. Then his hands went under my ass and he pulled my hips up and forward to meet his body. I liked the way he took my body and was able to move it like he owned it.
"I wasn't able to get sexually excited because of the pain, but I did get a thrill from the strength and aggression of his hands on my body as he squeezed my ass cheeks.
"On the third night, Robert wanted me again. My God! I didn't know I had married such a virile man. When we got into bed, he grabbed my hips in his arms. I was really not feeling up to going through this again and told him so. It hurt me to say it, because I loved the guy so much, but my hole was so damn sore I just couldn't take another reaming.
"Robert released his arms from around my hips and looked at me silently for a moment. I felt guilty ... guilty that I had refused him, but I really couldn't put up with the whole thing again so soon. He took one of my hands and placed it on his hard throbbing dick, wrapping my fingers around its smooth skin.
" 'Well,' Robert said, somewhat disappointed, 'if you can't do it one way, you can do it another.' He then showed me how to jack him off. I liked the feel of his stiff prick, though it frightened me at the same time. I guess you could say I was fascinated by it like a bird gets fascinated with a snake. The thing was strange and yet exciting. The more I pumped the more he grunted and groaned, and the more he grunted and groaned the more excited I got. Finally, he shot his white hot sperm into the air like a water pistol. It surprised the shit out of me! I didn't know what the hell was happening. Being told about a man coming and then being part of it are two different things. This had to be the strangest thing I had ever seen. I mean, a person spurting thick, creamy fluid out of an opening in his body is really sort of far out when you think about it.
"It was dazzling and shocking all at once. Here was my husband of only two days, shooting something from inside his body into the air and over my legs and onto the sheet. I didn't care for the pungently repulsive smell or the hot, sticky consistency. I never have gotten used to that.
"Well, we spent every damned night of our first week of marriage having sex of some kind. I never came, of course. Just Robert. But I was so involved in the other parts of my new role as housewife that the sexual part didn't take on any great importance until later. There was the decorating of the whole place to do, the buying of new furnishings, all the wonderful things a girl can do to feather her nest. That's what I was interested in most-feathering my nest. Everything else was simply secondary.
"We lived in a tract of five-year-old houses. Most of the men in our neighborhood worked at the same factory as Robert. To this day, I don't understand exactly what it is that Robert does for a living at that joint.
"Eventually, I got pregnant and bore Robert a little girl. The following year I got pregnant again, and had a boy. That was enough for me to handle and I told Robert so.
"We began using the rhythm system to prevent me from getting pregnant; also I gave a lot of hand jobs to keep Robert happy. There was hardly a night out of the week-and sometimes mornings-that he didn't require sex. There seemed to be no limit to his appetite. If he wasn't screwing me I was jacking him off. He tried to get me to go down on him once, but I refused. I remember we had one of our big fights about this.
"We were in bed, and I had hold of his big cock when he says, "Why don't you go down on me tonight?' I was shocked that he would even suggest such a thing. I mean, how the hell was I supposed to get that big dick of his in my small mouth? Besides, the idea revolted me. I can think of nothing more distasteful ... more disgusting ... than putting a man's big prick in your mouth. Having it in your hole is one thing-at least you don't taste or see it ... or feel it with the taste buds on your tongue.
"When I said no to his suggestion, he blew his cork. 'What am I-poison or something?' he yelled. 'You think this thing between my legs is some kind of dangerous animal? What the fuck are you afraid of? It's not going to bite you, damn it!'
"I told him I just didn't like the idea, that it didn't appeal to me. 'I'm your fuckin' husband!' he countered. 'For God's sake, Helaine, I'm your fuckin' husband!'
"Needless to say that ruined his sex for that night. We just sat around for a couple of hours and argued about what was 'right' and what was 'wrong' with the various kinds of sexual acts. We didn't get anywhere, and finally went to bed without resolving the fight. The next morning he practically raped me before getting out of bed. I was still groggy-eyed when he rolled over and started pumping his hard on into me. I responded like the dutiful wife and tried to move my hips a little, moaning my phony moans which I had perfected by then.
"He shot his wad and took off for work. He shot his load into me practically every day for five years, and I had but few orgasms. Can you imagine? Not one goddamn climax did I have in five years of married life that I really enjoyed. Now that has to be some kind of record.
"I guess this business of not having any sexual satisfaction finally got to me, because I began to get very nervous and edgy. I was sexually excitable, but nothing ever happened. I really didn't know what the problem was, never having had a real enjoyable orgasm in the first place. You see, masturbation was a no-no as a child, so I hadn't even done it as an adult. After five years, the realization that something was radically wrong finally came crashing in on me. I had a perpetual feeling of incompleteness, of absolute dissatisfaction with life in general, but I really didn't know what the problem was until I talked it over with my neighbor, Beverly.
"Beverly lived alone as a divorcee in the green house next to ours. She was a couple years older than I, and we hadn't got to know each other too well until that afternoon. She is an inch taller than I, with long red hair. Not a bad looker, and she seemed to have a lot of friends, both female and male. There were always parties at her place on weekends, but I figured they were all single people and never thought anything of it when we weren't invited.
"The afternoon I'm referring to happened when I just had to talk to somebody about my problem. Beverly had always been friendly, and I decided as long as she was a divorcee, and having a hell of a time at it, she was no doubt more worldly than I. I decided to confide in her. She was home most afternoons because her alimony kept her going without having to work.
"I knocked on the door, and she greeted me like a long lost friend, inviting me in immediately. We sat on the sofa and chitchatted about the neighbors and the usual junk. Then I came out with it. Slowly at first, then made a full confession about my never having had a good orgasm, and what Robert was like in bed ... the whole works.
"Beverly got up and went to the refrigerator. 'I think you might feel more relaxed about this whole thing if we have a nice glass of wine together. You sure are tied up in knots, honey. What you need is a good blast of the old grape.'
"She poured two glasses of wine, brought the bottle to the coffee table, and we proceeded with my confession.
" 'So,' Beverly said, picking up the loose ends of my last sentence, 'you have never had a memorable orgasm in your entire life. That's a shame, honey. I mean there's something definitely wrong somewhere. Doesn't your husband turn you on at all? I mean, do you ever get sexy when he touches you?'
" 'Once in a while,' I said, sipping on the wine nervously. I was so nervous.
" 'And at other times,' I continued, he does nothing for me. Do you think that's what's wrong? The fact that I never enjoyed coming? Can that make a person feel the way I do, or is it just that I need some kind of recreation or something?'
"Beverly filled my glass again and moved closer. 'If you haven't had a good old-fashioned orgasm, honey, I'm surprised you aren't in the loony bin. I mean, shit, a person just can't go on living like that, honey. You can wind up blowing your mind.'
"She was being very nice, like a friend who wanted to help another friend. All the wine on my empty stomach made me a bit dizzy. I became slightly high after a short while. We continued to talk about the problem and I drank more wine, which relaxed me completely. In fact, I was so relaxed I was getting drunk. Beverly seemed to be in better control of her alcohol, but after about an hour, I got pretty looped.
"Beverly was sitting next to me, consoling me, as I told her of the useless life I was living. She began to pet my hair and brush my cheek, but I didn't think anything of it. She was just being sympathetic, I thought. But as she continued her sympathizing and caressing, I began to respond-sexually. I mean I actually got those hot, stirring feelings in my stomach. "I was so high on wine that it didn't seem to matter that a woman was making me hot. I continued to describe how Robert screwed me and how I played with his prick, and all the other details of our sex life. As I did, Beverly kept up a constant drone of reassurance and sympathetic remarks as her hand petted my neck.
"I was so smashed by this time that I could no longer concentrate on conversation. I kept getting lost in my words, and finally stopped talking. There was silence as I breathed deeply, almost panting with passion from Beverly's caresses. I don't know how many minutes or seconds passed, but she probably noticed that I was mesmerized and slowly bent her head down to my shoulder and kissed the bare skin.
"A thrill of excitement shot through me and I moaned. 'Maybe,' Beverly cooed, 'you need a different kind of sex. Everybody needs something a little different. It's just a fact of life, honey.' And she kissed me again on the neck. I was silent to her advances. I felt an aching suddenly throb in my clitoris, and I fell back in complete submission to her advances.
"At the time, I knew there was something unnatural about what was happening, but my body was so happy with its feelings that I decided to let go and see what would happen.
"Beverly encouraged me to drink more wine, which I did, making me more drunk and limp. She kissed my neck in several places, each giving me a tingling, exciting feeling which seemed to make music inside my body. Her tenderness and warmth thrilled my whole being as those lips kissed my sensitive and literally virgin skin. As I sat, slumped down on the sofa, Beverly moved her head up so that I caught a glimpse of her eyes through my blurry vision. She lowered her face to mine and planted a kiss on my lips. It was a delicate, light and furry kiss; soft and tender as a leaf kissing the ground when it landed.
"I moaned from the exquisite joy it sent through me, down to my most sensitive parts between my legs. It was a short kiss. Then there was another and another. With each feathery kiss my body tingled more, and the sex fluids made my crotch wetter as they flowed from the stimulation. I was hypnotized by her seduction of me. I was both confused and overjoyed by the encounter.
"Beverly slid her hand beneath my dress and pressed into my pussy bone softly but firmly. That set my insides on fire as I moaned louder and spread my legs automatically. The most wonderful feeling of pleasure was aroused down there between my fleshy thighs and hairy pussy lips. When Beverly saw how I enjoyed her touch, she reached up and began to pull my panties down. As she did, another kiss was felt on my lips, but this time her tongue slipped in and touched mine. My whole being lit up and tingled with the most beautiful sexual feeling I had ever felt.
"It was overwhelming; utterly relaxing and stimulating at the same time. My pants came off somehow without my even being aware of it, and her hand was in the hairs, caressing and rubbing the pussy lips softly with her gentle hands. That's what I remembered most-Beverly's gentleness and patience in arousing me to the point of no return.
"My eyes were closed as I went sailing off into a world of unknown sexuality. I opened my eyes and did not see her, but my peripheral vision caught a glimpse of what must have been Beverly down on the floor in front of me. At the time I did not understand why she was there, but a moment later the most lusty sensations filled my body as her mouth touched my clitoris, sending wave after wave of passion surging through my body.
"Soon, I was drunk on wine and on sexual passion at the same time. Never in my born days did I realize there were such feelings to be felt by a person's body. Her mouth was working magic on me; I felt like a pool of warm liquid that she was stirring up and making hot, and dropping in magic ingredients to make sparks and colors swirl through in a madness of speed and intensity.
"Whatever she was doing, it increased and increased until I thought I wouldn't be able to stand any more. I slumped lower, moaning and twitching like a crazed woman. Beverly's mouth kept working on my most sensitive part, igniting it with hotter and hotter streams of sex which tore through me like bolts of lightning. Then, as if I had been lifted up onto a mountain and shot from a super cannon, I exploded into a magnificent orgasm. I thought that I would go mad for sure, so intense was the writhing and thrashing of my body. I saw every color of the rainbow, and felt every beautiful piece of music vibrate through me.
"I had had my first real orgasm, and it was brought about by a woman! That was only the beginning, though, for Beverly and I would have many more glasses of wine together."
In the case of Helaine, latent homosexual tendencies are brought to the surface by a knowing bisexual neighbor. If Helaine had not met Beverly, or had never run into either a bisexual or a homosexual female, she might have gone plodding through her marriage, always wondering what there was that was missing, and never really knowing.
Not only did Helaine not know that she was potentially a homosexual, she had never experienced what she called a "real" orgasm, and so had never tasted the pleasures of satisfying sex. In effect, she did not know what she was missing. But, knowing that there was something missing, she sought help.
Having lived in the neighborhood for quite some time, Helaine had a wide choice of neighbor women from whom to choose as her soft shoulder. She could have chosen the lady who lived on the other side of her-the one with three children-or the lady across the street with two children the same sex and age as Helaine's. Instead, she chooses the only divorcee on the block. Logically, if one were to seek knowledge on the subject on marital sexual relations, one would ask a married woman, not a divorced woman.
Subconsciously, Helaine must have received some sort of vibrations from Beverly., In her plight, she headed straight for the one person on the block who could actually solve her problem. Coincidence? We think not.
Science has neither proved nor disproved the validity of the hypothesis which states that homosexuality is strictly hereditary and physiologic in nature. Nor has it been proven that this form of sexual relation is completely psychological. Perhaps the answer lies somewhere in between.
One scientist who has researched the subject, August Forel, has put forth a rather valid hypothesis in his The Sexual Question: Lesbian love merits special mention. Owing to the clitoris being more or less concealed, women are often not satisfied by coitus, especially when the ejaculation of the male takes place too quickly. Consequently a number of normal women prefer to procure an orgasm by means of lesbian love (cunnilingus).
Although Helaine was never given a chance to find out whether or not she could enjoy coitus, since her husband seems merely to have sought self-satisfaction, it is doubtful that she would have responded. Her background is generally what could be considered that of a latent lesbian. She was a tomboy as a child, had a strong father image which she tried to emulate, and turned away from the overly feminine mother who was overly possessive of her father.
As a young teenager, Helaine found herself having a youthful crush on one of the older girls at summer camp. She kept having recurring dreams of marrying this older girl, and during her waking hours, Helaine often wished that this girl were a man so that they could be married. Her crushes on males were on effeminate boys.
It wasn't until she met Robert that she fell for a truly masculine type. In all actuality, she had married a prototype of her father-strong, aggressive, and extremely masculine. But to her utter disappointment, she found that she was not enjoying the one aspect of marriage which she ought most to have enjoyed-sex. Not having received a well-rounded sex education, she did not realize she needed much more attention or foreplay than her husband was giving her. We will never know if a long foreplay would have changed her into a fully heterosexual wife, since Robert, too, seemed to know very little about sex.
For all intents and purposes, Helaine is an active homosexual. Ralph Slovenko, in studying female homosexuality in his Sexual Behavior and the Law, stresses: True female homosexuality is always reparative in function. Reparative denotes that the homosexual behavior is always fear-induced; the anxiety and subsequent damage to the organism's functioning arises from unconscious infantile fears of the opposite sex, childhood prohibitions, fear of punishment, etc. Sexual union with a person of the opposite sex is anxiety-laden and the attempt at repair which inevitably miscarries lies in achieving sexual orgasm by choosing a person of the same sex, thereby avoiding anxiety and fear.
Slovenko points out, with a warning note, that in treatment of the reparative homosexual female, it must be remembered that this patient prefers to believe that she belongs to the situational or variational groups (situational homosexuality being caused by prolonged absence of the opposite sex, and variational homosexuality being the occasional homosexual act "just for the fun of it"). The reparative homosexual generally refuses to believe or admit that she is a true homosexual.
"I slept like a log that night, and awoke with the most peaceful, contented feeling ... like nothing I had ever known. It was as though everything in the world was just fine, and my nervousness had disappeared. In fact, I was humming as I made Robert's breakfast, which somewhat distracted him from the morning paper.
"I was experiencing some sort of happiness, although there was still a veil of guilt which came and went throughout the early part of my day.
I couldn't keep my mind from thinking of the previous day's exciting event. My feelings were ambivalent regarding the drunken orgy with Beverly. Socially, I had committed a crime, a moral crime as well. But my body and mind felt that there was some justification; justification because I had experienced such indescribable pleasures which had been denied me for so many years.
"As these opposing feelings of guilt and pleasure drifted in and out of my head, I had to try extra hard to concentrate on my chores for the day and taking care of the baby. I was becoming absentminded, and found myself losing continuity of what I was doing at any particular time. In the midst of preparing Debbie's meal, my thoughts wandered to Beverly's kisses and her sucking of my pussy. Then I would feel sudden gusts of sexuality waft through me as the memory of those caresses filtered through my brain. It was a difficult morning, to say the least!
"The more I allowed Beverly to creep into my thoughts the hotter I got, and the hotter I got the more confused my behavior became until I could think of nothing but seeking the pleasure again which was given to me the day before.
"Finally I told Debbie, the eldest, to take Kenneth to bed and stay with him for his nap while Mommy went next door for a while. I felt drawn to Beverly like a magnet. I was experiencing an irresistible urge to replay the previous day's activities ... to satisfy this hunger which kept gnawing away, driving me to seek sexual contact with Beverly and ultimate satisfaction.
"I knocked on Beverly's door and looked around self-consciously. There were just a few small children playing down the block, otherwise nothing seemed to be happening. Beverly opened the door and looked at me with her self-confident stare as though analyzing my mood.
" 'Hi,' she said, in a lilting voice. 'Come on in, Helaine.'
"I stepped into her home nervously, my fingers scraping each other, nails digging into flesh. There was a stirring in the pit of my stomach and my clitoris was twitching, aching.
" 'Sit down,' she said, motioning me to the living room.
"I walked slowly to the center of the room in a quandary as to what I should do. Beverly closed the door and stood beside me studying my expression of indecision.
" 'Why don't you sit here,' she said, pointing to the sofa.
"I sat on the center cushion and looked up at Beverly.
" 'I think I could use some wine,' I said.
"Beverly went to the refrigerator and returned with a bottle and two glasses. She said nothing. I presumed she could see that I was troubled, and was just waiting for me to open up. She poured out two glasses full of the red liquid, and sat in an easy chair opposite me on the other side of the coffee table.
"I slurped a mouthful of the sweet stuff and began to speak.
" 'I ... I. ..... well, I liked what happened yesterday. And ... well ... I haven't been the same since. That is, I seem to want more of the same. I'm swirling inside right now, and I can hardly concentrate on anything my mind is so ... that is, my body is so ... so excited all the time. I think you have found the key to unlock all of my frustrations and misery and....'
"At this point my hands were shaking like a leaf. The wine in my glass was sloshing back and forth from the movement of my unsteady hands. Beverly was looking at me like the cat that swallowed the canary. She drank her wine with complete ease and steadiness. She seemed to be amused at my predicament.
"Beverly stood up and came to my side. She removed the glass from my hand, set it on the table, and sat beside me. Placing one hand on my knee, she said, 'Don't worry, kitten, everything will be all right. I know how you feelall mixed up inside. But I went through the same thing a few years ago. Thank God I was broadminded enough to accept who I really was and that I could be wasting my life. We'll work it out-you'll see.'
"She kissed me lightly on the cheek and then on the lips, moving her hand up my thigh. My body became limp with ecstasy as her hand and lips sent waves of passion trickling through my body, setting my clitoris on fire.
" 'Come,' Beverly whispered, 'let's go into my bedroom.' I got up dreamily and followed her to bed. There I sat on the edge of the bed as Beverly proceeded to remove my clothes. Every so often she would kiss me on the lips, which rekindled the fires in my clitoris, making it throb and twitch.
"She removed my bra and panties and I scooted up to the head of the bed, anxious to participate in whatever she had in mind for stimulating my newly aroused sex.
"Beverly lay alongside me and placed a hand in my furry crotch. Her head lay on my chest with her hot, breathy mouth near my nipple. As she caressed my wet slit, her tongue lapped out at my nipple, sending bolts of passion down to my clitoris. This she did several times, and then gently sucked the nipple into her mouth and pressed her tongue against the swollen dark red nipple.
"I moaned in ecstasy as each suck and lick ignited my swollen clitoris with more intense desires ... desires to have my clitoris played with, pinched, sucked, pulled, twisted ... anything that would stimulate me more. I was lost in a drunken passion of lustful cravings which only Beverly could satisfy.
"Her fingers were gently rubbing up and down the full length of my sopping wet slit with the slowness and softness of a patient lover. My juices were flowing so much that I could feel the layer of wetness upon which her hand was gliding all along my inner and outer lips, into the crack of my vagina and back up to the top, tripping over that hard prick-like clitoris that was so very sensitive to her touch.
"I was all alive between my legs. She pressed and squeezed and pulled my flesh, raising me to greater heights of beautiful passion. My hips swayed and bucked, jerked and plunged around madly as Beverly's sure hand and fingers played my body like a musical instrument.
"She moved her head from my breast and slithered down to my hips. The air was filled with the musky odor of our female secretions, and it excited me to breathe in the sensuous lingering aroma.
"Beverly parted my pussy lips and delicately licked the full length of my tingling, aroused pink flesh.
" 'Oh, damn!' I cried. 'Oh, my God ... how can anything feel so good? Oh, shit ... you're sending me into ecstasy with your tongue!'
"Beverly lifted her head slightly and began to pinch my clitoris with her soft fingers. It made me jerk and writhe.
" 'I think,' she said, 'it's only fair that you do the same thing to me.' And with that she moved her hips over my head, straddling me with her well-shaped legs. The smell of musk became even heavier as her pussy lowered to my face. Just then there was the most thrilling, the most joyous intensely beautiful sensation shooting through my entire being as Beverly sucked in my clitoris and bit down on it ever so gently.
"I reached up and cupped her ass cheeks in my hands and brought her pussy to my mouth. I had a longing to suck flesh, to taste the animalness and fleshiness of her body. In sheer desperation, I plunged my face into her wet pussy area and began sucking voraciously, wildly licking all of her wet, hot pussy flesh into my mouth. We were moaning and groaning and whimpering from our mutual loving. We were lost in that fantastic world of colors and lights which make sex so overwhelmingly irresistible. The magnetism and warmth of flesh against flesh causes such intense stirrings throughout.
"We lapped at our clitorises; licking, nibbling, sucking. Tongues probed the vagina opening and slid up to the top where the pubic bone gets closer to the surface and the crack ends. Then down again, pressing hard over the clitoris and sinking deeper as our bodies opened, welcoming anything that would enter the hole ... that hungry waiting vagina.
"Beverly had her hands under my ass, bringing my pussy to her mouth firmly. As if what she was doing wasn't enough, she slipped a finger slowly into the crack between my cheeks and rubbed the brown area next to my ass-hole. To my surprise, it was sensitive ... I was actually getting sexual feelings from there! I couldn't believe how she was arousing so many parts of my body.
"Within seconds, her slender finger poked into my ass-hole, feeling around cautiously, gently. I squeezed my ass muscles, placing pressure on her inserted finger, and my hole became another center of sensation. I loved having her finger up there as it heightened my pleasure to new plateaus. I took the hint and began swirling my finger around in her ass opening. She gave out a moan of approval as she extended her ass backwards to make access easier. My finger rubbed the tight muscle, and then sank into the depths of her warm ass, feeling and searching the smooth surface.
"My body glowed from the inside out, from top to bottom. The very soles of my feet even tingled with warmth and passion as Beverly made exquisite love to me; love I had never known possible; a kind of love that until yesterday was nonexistent. I felt as a whole person should feel: totally loved.
"But her caresses were not to end here. Beverly knew more about sex than any person I have ever met, and she gave me the wonderful benefits of her knowledge as her fingers and mouth worked their magic on and in my body, which was seething with such excruciating joy that I thought I would be unable to bear any more. Just as I thought that this lovemaking session was at its zenith, she plunged a finger from her other hand into my contracting vagina. I couldn't believe the fantastic thrills my poor body was experiencing. My God! Was there anything else that she could do to make me thrill?
"Her finger poked madly into my pussy hole, feeling and pressing around the walls of that sensitive flesh. I was almost paralyzed with the pure joy I was experiencing in this woman's arms. I was climbing higher and higher to unbelievable levels of passion. I wanted to scream out from the intensity of it all, but I could only suck on her body wildly as if by reflex.
"Suddenly, Beverly became still for just a moment, and then she began to thrash and pump her ass wildly. As she did so, she bit hard on my clitoris and plunged her fingers to their depths into both my vagina and ass. In a blaze of flashing colored lights and mad buzzes, my own body thrashed and whipped as my orgasm burst from me. I exploded again and again, each convulsion hurtling me deeper into space and time. I was as a giant sun which was exploding in billions of directions, and each section of those pieces exploding again like a chain reaction-a perpetual series of monumental blasts and flashes that seemed to go on endlessly.
"When the explosions and madness started its descent, I passed out.
"I don't remember how long I was unconscious, but when I came to, I could not move a muscle. My poor body was like soft wax, limp and supple, but immobile. Beverly was beside me, leaning on one elbow, her breast hanging near my cheek. She was watching me as I opened my eyes groggily and with great effort.
I have never felt such absolute peace and contentment; such complete satisfaction. " 'Hi, kitten,' she cooed.
"I looked at the breast and followed it up to a neck, and then to a familiar face which was smiling down at me.
"I grunted, though I meant to say hi. My muscles weren't working, not even my voice muscles. It was several seconds before I managed the strength to speak anything intelligible.
" 'How long have I been out?' I asked dreamily.
" 'Oh, not more than a minute,' Beverly whispered. 'You sure must have had one helluva come, baby.'
"I sure must have! I had heard of women fainting from sex, but I never dreamed I would be one of them.
"After a few minutes of conversation I got dressed and combed my hair. I had to reapply some makeup before I left her house so I looked normal. I walked next door to my house and felt like I would collapse from weak knees! I could barely stand.
"The rest of the day was ridiculous. I could barely hold a fork to eat or a dish to wash I was so depleted. Talk about being rung out! Robert was too tired from work to notice my incapacitation, but if he were to take any notice of me, he sure as hell would have asked questions. I just couldn't do anything right.
"It took me a full three days to recuperate from that little orgy of ours. That particular experience taught me how much of life I had been missing all these years; all the time I had wasted and suffered; the meaningless sexual encounters with Robert seemed like so much useless energy expended for absolutely no good reason other than to satisfy him the way I had just been satisfied.
"The funny thing was, though, I still loved Robert. I went through the motions of fucking any time he wanted it, and if I got hot enough I would save myself for Beverly the next day. Robert was not one to give oral satisfaction.
"One afternoon Beverly explained to me that she was not homo but bi. She could make it with either men or women, and it didn't make any difference one way or the other with her. That was something I didn't understand-I didn't enjoy intercourse and she did. The difference was she could enjoy fucking, but she would have the man go down on her to make her come. I don't know-it's too mixed up for me to understand.
"On the 'fatal' afternoon, Beverly and I had our usual glass of wine before making love. By that time, I had been schooled by her enough to know what the hell was coming off with a woman's body-particularly mine-so sex was really getting to be a ball.
"Beverly had purchased one of those vibrator gadgets from a porno store. It's a plastic thing shaped like a penis. You push a button and it vibrates-works on batteries. I had never heard of such a thing in all my life. Imagine, a vibrating penis. But Beverly was such a sophisticated gal; she would search for things to add variety to her sex life, even shop for gadgets in a sex store. She's really too much.
"Well, it was my turn to make love to her first, so I nipped this plastic vibrator on and shoved it into her vagina. Beverly leaned back on the bed and moaned.
" 'Mmmmmm ... does that feel goooooood,' she said, flopping her head from side to side. 'Oh yes, move it in and out. Oh, shit, is that fantastic ... shove it all the way in ... that's right ... oh, my God! Oh, damn, is that making me hot. Oh, shit! Suck me, suck me, baby.'
"I placed my mouth on her clitoris and licked it gently, then sucked it lightly as Beverly moaned louder. I held her lips apart with my other hand to make the clitoris stand out, and sucked it into my mouth as I jammed the vibrator in and out of her vagina. She was really going crazy with ecstasy. I wondered what the hell that vibrator felt like. It was sure doing things to Beverly.
" 'Suck harder,' she said, 'I'm going to come any second. Suck harder ... that's good ... push the vibrator all the way in ... leave it all the way in ... yeah, that's right. Ohhhhhh, here I come ... I'm coming ... I'm com....' And she stiffened her body for a moment, and then flopped around like someone had shaken her violently as her orgasm pounded away inside her.
"She sank back and told me to pull the thing out of her hole.
" 'Whew!' she exclaimed. 'That one was different. That fucking vibrator sure does things you can't feel any other way. It was weird ... I mean it was a different kind of coming ... but good. You were good, kitten. Now I'll do you.'
"We switched positions and Beverly inserted the vibrating thing into me and it felt weird, indeed, but highly pleasurable. I spread my thighs wide apart for her mouth to make love to my hungry body. My clitoris was twitching and aching from all the excitement.
"Her hot mouth descended upon my waiting joy button and sucked it in, licking and nibbling the sensitive gland. I was going to come fast this time, I could tell. That goddamn vibrator inside my pussy was stirring things up-things which never had been stirred up before in there. Beverly kept working the gadget in and out of my hole, then shoved it deep, right to the very back of my vagina and I thought I was going to go right through the ceiling!
"At that moment there was a loud and frightening voice that boomed into the bedroom which petrified both of us. It was Robert's voice.
" 'What the fuck is going on here?' he shrieked, trembling with anger and shock. 'What the sam hell is going on here? My God! My God! I married a fucking homo! What the fuck in this?'
"And then he began hitting me ... and hitting me. I thought he would never stop. I thought for sure he was going to kill me. When Beverly tried to stop him, he slapped her clear across the room.
"It seems Robert got sick in the middle of the day and came home. My son told him I was next door, but when he knocked neither Beverly nor I heard him because we were so busy in the bedroom. He opened the door, walked in, and started looking around.
"After his scene at Beverly's, he stalked out. A few minutes later he called and said that he was kicking me out and I could stay at Beverly's.
"We were divorced shortly after that, and in time I moved away and began dating. I don't make love to women anymore, but at the same time I never date a guy more than once if he won't go down on me. It's the only way I can come."
As was pointed out earlier, Helaine is what Ralph Slovenko terms a reparative homosexual. And, although she is a true homosexual as opposed to her friend Beverly who is bisexual, Helaine will not admit that she is homosexual. She dates men, always insisting on oral intercourse. This dating of men assures her that she is "normal" and not a "perverted homosexual."
It will take years of psychoanalysis to break down the fear barriers built up by her former husband. Helaine, if she chooses to drop therapy, may remain a homosexual for the rest of her life.
CHAPTER TWO
Funny, You Don't Look It "The last time I was in the sack with Edwin was back in January or February-I can't remember which-and it was only because I was as horny as they come and hadn't had any ass at all in such a long time that I finally gave in to that bastard.
"But it was just as I had suspected-all he wanted was to stick that fucking prick into me and 'damn the torpedoes-full fuck ahead!' He knew damn well how I felt about fucking-front or back-and his alimony payments to me should have really driven the little lesson home, but not that lunkhead! You'd think that after two years of marriage and six months of heavy alimony he'd have wised up to my real wants. Either he went down on me, or he could find himself another fuck.
"When we first got married, I told him right off that I had already been hitched to two other jerks who had had ideas about fucking me. I warned him right off the bat that I wasn't that kind of girl. I guess he thought that I meant that I wasn't the kind of girl who fucked before marriage, or something stupid like that. Anyway, he wouldn't believe me. Oh, he believed that I wouldn't fuck him before marriage-he just couldn't get it through his thick skull that I wasn't going to let him screw me after we were married, either.
"He didn't find that out until after we were already married, of course. And then it was too late. I was sure that I had made myself perfectly clear, but that lunkhead-just like the two before him-probably thought that his big old prodder was going to be the one which would win me over to 'normal' sex.
"Now that I've brought that up-that business of my desires of sex being not normal is bugging the hell out of me! What, I would like to know, is 'normal' sex? What may be normal to two goldfish sure ain't normal to two cockroaches, and what is normal to two chimpanzees sure isn't normal to two ducks. So, what the hell is normal, anyway?
"But there we were, in bed just rubbing our bodies all over the fucking place. Edwin's hands were zooming up and down me like warm water washing up and over my body at the beach. I bit him on the cheek several times as I pounded my cunt bone against his thigh. He sucked on my neck and chewed my tits like some fucking animal at a raw meat feast. The son-of-a-bitch never did have any couth in his lovemaking. The fucking bastard gave me purple marks all over.
"His prick was hard as a fucking rock, and he kept jabbing it against my leg while he squeezed the living hell out of my tits. I don't have big tits, but there's enough there for handling purposes. I was so goddamn hot I kept swearing at him.
"'You fucking bastard, you,' I cried, 'you son-of-a-bitch, you. Goddamn fucking bastard. Why do you get me so hot? Oh, you cocksucking son-of-a-bitch ... you fucking, cunt-licking fart! Get that fucking cock away from me. All I want is your hot mouth, you mother-fucking, cocksucking bastard. Give me your fucking, sucking mouth and suck me into your fucking mouth. Goddamn it! Suck me, you bastard!'
"I was burning up with fucking passion. Shit. My clitoris was just twitching and aching for a good licking. Edwin was sucking on one of my tits. I should say he was chewing on it. Shit, I thought he was going to take out a knife and fork and really do me. Can't say that I minded it too much, for I was about ready for anything that night, I was so fucking horny.
"His hand went between my legs and started to feel around in my cunt lips. Boy, did that feel good. I lit up like a fucking store window at Christmas. He slid his hand up and down the slit rubbing over my sensitive joy button each time he stroked upward. My hips were jerking back and forth like a goddamn swing. I sure was ripe for picking. Nothing he did was unnoticed by my fucking nerves. Every place he touched me I responded.
"While I was busy writhing from his hand in my cunt lips, Edwin grabbed one of my hands and placed it around his swollen cock. Man, did he have a big cock. The fucking thing was always too large for me anyway. I went about squeezing and pumping it. If he thought I was going to let him put that sausage into my cunt, he was badly mistaken.
"He stopped chewing on my tit and turned his body so his head was near my cunt.
" 'Suck me,' I yelled, frantic with desire to be sucked.
"I pumped his cock so fucking hard I thought I was going to jerk it off-literally. Edwin's mouth came down on my cunt and his tongue lapped away from the bottom of the slit to the very top. I moaned and groaned like hell. Shit, was that good. Nothing like getting sucked off.
"My body was writhing all over the fucking bed as he gobbled my pussy juices. I'll say one thing about that son-of-a-bitch-he can eat pussy good when he wants to. His tongue was sending all kinds of fantastic sensations surging through my body. Then he landed on my joy button and sucked away like a fucking madman as I jerked him off like a fucking madwoman.
"My hand was pounding away, banging against his pubic bone and yanking out till my hand couldn't move any further, then back down it pounded, all the while squeezing hard. Shit, I had to hang onto something or I'd fly off the fucking bed.
"Edwin was busily sucking on my joy button, driving me up the fucking wall. My hips bounced and bolted in all directions from the intense stimulation.
" 'Oh, suck it hard,' I cried. 'Goddamn it, suck that fucking thing, you mother-fucker. Oh, that's good. Goddamn, that's good. Ooooooh, son-of-a-bitch, is that good. Yeah, baby, suck me, suck me, suck me, suck me!'
"Suddenly, I felt hot fluid splash against my leg. Edwin was gushing his come all over my leg and the bed sheet in a wide area. Man, did he come. That mother-fucker must have pumped a quart.
"And then I started my climb to the fucking stars. My hips rose up toward the ceiling, arching my back like a fucking acrobat. Edwin's lips stayed right with me as I went higher and higher off the bed and then, flam down I went as my orgasm whipped through me, jerking my fucking hips back and forth, up and down and around like a fucking fit. Son-of-a-bitch, I almost threw my back out of whack.
"I was panting, letting the beautiful feeling of that fucking climax seep into every nerve of my body. Edwin still knew how to give the best head in town. He always had been better than anyone else, but he never seemed to be able to get it through his thick skull that that was all I was ever going to want.
"As I lay there, with Edwin heaving huge sighs and still fiddling with my tit, I remembered far back into my sexual past-back to my first husband, Kevin. Oh, that beautiful, motherfucking Kevin! Tall, dark, handsome as sin-but all cock! Poor bastard just didn't understand me and never would. He never knew what hit him. Poor baby. He sure loved me-and, believe it or not, I loved him, too. But there was no way that I was going to allow him to shove that gigantic, mother-fucking prick up my pussy-no way!
"Truthfully, I didn't know that I didn't want to be fucked until after Kevin and me were married. It was just as much of a surprise to me as it was to him-maybe even more. I had petted hard during junior high, high school and even my first year of college. That's when I met Kevin. He was the quarterback on the varsity football team, and every fucking female on campus had her eye on him.
"It just happened that I was in his math class, and I was the best student there. So, when he found out how good I was, he asked me to tutor him. That was my opening. I made very subtle passes, and finally he caught one. We started necking around, then petting around, then really going at it hot and heavy. Everything but the real thing.
"I was a virgin, and that fascinated him. I guess all Kevin had gone out with before was whores. I must have been the very first virgin he ever met since grammar school days. And, because I hadn't lost my cherry to nobody, he decided that he wasn't going to be the one. He also figured that I must be some imagine broad-with class and all that-if I had kept hold of my cherry for so many years. He was so impressed that he asked me to wear his fraternity pin.
"Man, every girl on campus was pissing in her panties because I had removed Kevin from the active bachelor list. I was queen of the hill, and Kevin was my trophy. And he was so hung up on the fact that I was still a virgin that he never tried anything. He even proposed to me on his graduation day. He didn't care if I graduated or not-he just wanted to get married and fuck.
"He had already been scouted and was about to sign with one of the top pro football teams in the country, and I wasn't about to lose all that gravy. Really, though, I did love him in my way. I'm not as hard as you might think.
"My folks were about out of their fucking minds over the fact that I was marrying the football hero turned pro who would really support me in a style I could easily become accustomed to. They planned and prepared-Mother pushing that jerk of a cunt-lapping father of mine around. Every time he'd mention expenses or remind her of their bank account, she'd really shut him up but good. The poor guy finally got the idea and kept his fucking mouth shut. I was to have the biggest and best wedding ever held in Beaver Falls.
"Do you know that our wedding was covered by the wire services? Honest! There were photographers from everywhere, and reporters to ask all kinds of questions. It was really very exciting. Kevin and I made history in Beaver Falls that would never be topped. How could you top a wedding that got covered from coast to coast in the newspapers?
"Well, from all the excitement, Kevin and I really had a little too much to drink. There was champagne flowing everywhere-even from a sterling silver fountain decked out with orchids. People were filling their glasses every two seconds from it. And Kevin and I, returning toast after toast, were slowly getting smashed to the fucking gills.
"When it was time for me to slip upstairs and change into my going-away outfit, I could barely navigate the steps. I weaved my way up with the help of two of my bridesmaids, then plopped myself down on the sofa up there and refused to budge. Finally, with force (they told me two weeks later) my girl friends pulled me out of my $300 wedding gown-not counting the veil and gloves-and poured me into my going-away outfit.
"I barely made it back downstairs where coffee and Kevin were waiting for me. We were both too numb to even kiss-or feel it if we had. We guzzled cup after cup of coffee, but it just didn't work. Finally, Mother took over and drove us to the biggest-that's a laugh-hotel in Beaver Falls and got us registered at the bridal suite-another laugh.
"Everyone left us there by ourselves. Someone was kind enough to have left us a note that our plane reservations for our honeymoon to the Bahamas had been changed to the following day.
"So, our wedding night I remained a virgin. And Kevin didn't even try to change that. He was so drunk that even if he had tried to get it up he couldn't have. He was limp as a rubber snake and I was in no mood for anything but more champagne or sleep. I had both: half a bottle of champagne-straight from the bottle-and then passed out on the bed without even pulling down the cover.
"In the morning, Kevin and I awoke to hangovers like you just wouldn't believe. We were both stretched out on the unmade bed, fully clothed in our traveling outfits, and still a little drunk. But a good cold shower cured that, and we were spry and ready for that trip to the Bahamas and our 'wedding night.'
"Once we reached our original destination, Kevin registered us fast and pointed me straight for our room. We could hardly wait for the bellhop to leave-he was taking his fucking time just to see what we would do, I bet. Anyway, a heavy tip finally got rid of him. Kevin stripped in two seconds flat, stripped me in another two seconds, and we headed for the bed.
"I don't mind telling you that I was scared stiff! That mammoth prick of his was frightening as hell! I lay there looking at his monstrous, multicolored meat, thinking how the fuck could anything that big get into my hole. Especially a virgin hole.
"Kevin grabbed one of my tits and began squeezing and molding the spongy flesh, staring at it like he wanted to eat the whole thing. He swept me up in his arms and plunged his mouth right onto the nipple. I yelped and tried to pull away. It was tickling and irritating all at the same time.
" 'What the hell's wrong?' he asked.
" 'You took me by surprise,' I answered. 'Why don't you try kissing me someplace else?'
"He looked at my body, examining me all over. 'Got any suggestions?' he asked.
" 'Yes,' I cooed, 'how about down there where it's nice and cozy?' indicating my pussy.
" 'You mean here?' he said, slapping his hand against my cunt. I jumped again from the shock. He was getting playful in his horniness.
" 'Yeah, that's the place,' I encouraged.
"He slid down and pressed his mouth against the hairs. Then slowly his tongue darted out and flicked the tip of my clitoris. I moaned and spread my legs as wide apart as possible. Kevin cupped my ass in his hands and began kissing my pussy lovingly, tenderly. Ripples of passion darted through me, warming my insides.
"His mouth was hot and soft on my pussy lips. He was just kissing and licking me all over down there. When Kevin's lips sucked around my clitoris, I thought I would melt. Holy shit, did that set the fires burning all through my body.
" 'Oh, shit,' I whimpered, 'suck me good, Kevin. Oh, honey, does that feel wonderful. Oh, baby, does that feel good. Mmmmmm ... does your mouth feel good down there. Oh, yes, baby, suck me good.'
"This encouraged him to suck and lick my cunt with even more enthusiasm. By now I was clawing at the sides of the bed, so thrilling and excruciating was the pleasure. I was absolutely helpless, moaning and groaning, and thrashing my head back and forth in utter joy. I glanced down once to see what Kevin looked like when he was sucking me off. I don't know what the hell I expected to see, but he was sure absorbed in his work.
"While busily sucking and licking my joy button, his hands squeezed and kneaded my ass. That felt good, too. That guy had such strong hands, but he was gentle as a leaf with my body. He raised my ass off the mattress to give him a more comfortable position, and at the same time this new angle allowed his mouth to reach in and take the whole clitoris, reaching a side which his tongue had not touched.
" 'Ohhhhhhhhhhh,' I yelled, 'you're driving me crazy! Oh, Kevin, you're driving me wild! I can't stand it any more ... please, no more, oh, shit ... don't stop ... oh, God, don't stop....'
"I was so fucking gone I didn't know which side was up. My arms and head were doing flip-flops from all the stimulation his tongue and lips were giving my little joy box. My body felt like a glowing torch, all lit up inside. I was so fucking gone that the building could have fallen down around me, and I wouldn't care as long as Kevin kept sucking my cunt.
"My whole world at that moment was his mouth and my cunt. Sparks were flying around in my head like the fourth of July. In fact, my body felt like one big fire display which kept burning its design in various parts of my tingling body, winding its way to all the hidden corners and crevices, lighting its way along like a fuse gone mad.
"My head was reeling, my body was reeling; I was senseless with indescribable joy. I was delirious with beautiful ecstasy. I was one woman who was, indeed, having a fantastic wedding night. I screamed and cried and whimpered; I was being thrilled and tortured at the same time.
"Then all the torture and ecstasy mounted into a fine sharp point as though I were being flown to the highest mountain peak in the universe at a million miles an hour. My back arched and my hips thrust outward. I opened my mouth as wide as it would stretch, emitting an ear-shattering scream that started low in my throat and gradually rose to falsetto.
"I burst into a billion flashing sparks as my orgasm exploded, sending me over the peak of that mountain and off into outer space, leaving a trail of blazing explosions and rockets in its wake.
"My body convulsed with the rapture of such an intense coming. Kevin grabbed hold of my ass with a firmer grip, trying to hold me steady as I jerked and thrashed in his hands. He kept licking and sucking and nibbling all the while I came, and sent me further into another climax that almost tore my head off, it was so violent. The feeling was like that of being in a nightmare of fast happening events which you cannot control or react to individually. A blur of monumental emotional crises all crashing in at once.
"Thank God, Kevin stopped his sucking ... I needed the relief. I lay there on the bed, soaking wet from my own perspiration, panting and gasping for air. I was thoroughly fulfilled. All I wanted to do was rest.
"Kevin came up to the top of the bed and lay on his pillow, panting from the workout he had down there. After a short while I heard his voice say: 'Okay, now it's time for.... '
"That was all of his sentence I heard, for I fell fast asleep. I faintly remember him trying to turn me over onto my back, as though he were planning to fuck me even if I were sleeping. But he didn't."
The root of Yvonne's sexual problem seems obvious at one observation. Her home environment had been a great determining factor with her. Yvonne's mother had been the strong and dominant parent, while the father appeared unwilling to even put up a struggle to regain the domination of his family.
Yvonne is the eldest of four children. She was always very precocious, and had little trouble getting into college where she met her first husband. After only one semester, she was convinced that she should leave school and marry her hero. At that time, she did not realize there was a sexual problem to be solved. Nor did she realize that her and Kevin's chances of remaining together as man and wife were minimal at best.
According to Judson T. and Mary G. Landis, in their college text Building a Successful Marriage, Kevin and Yvonne were doomed from the very beginning. They state: Studies of divorce show that youthful marriages are much more-likely to end in divorce. Hart and Shields concluded after a study of 500 cases of marital discord that if both bride and groom are under 20 at the time of marriage the risk of unhappiness is ten times as great as for marriages at the more favorable ages. There is some reason to believe that this study overemphasized the incidence of divorce in youthful marriages, since the comparisons were made between a random sample group and a group which came to the court of domestic relations. The latter group would probably contain a greater proportion of the underprivileged than would be found among the random sample. However, those married under 20 unquestionably run a greater risk of unhappiness.
Since Yvonne was only 18 at the time of her first marriage, and only 19 at the time of her second, she would fit well into the statistics. Without her sexual problems-which might have been solved easily by a more mature and older husband, since Kevin was just 21 when they were married-Yvonne was too young to cope with marriage. And Kevin was too young to cope with Yvonne. His solution, to send her to a psychiatrist, was a step in the right direction, but Yvonne was too young, and too stubborn, to take her husband's advice. Kevin was not strong enough to insist.
This strength, or lack of it, is the root of Yvonne's entire problem. She has seen her dominant mother run roughshod over a cowering, cringing husband. It is her only touch with marriage. When Kevin shows the first sign of weakness-by not physically or violently insisting on sexual intercourse-Yvonne began to see more and more of her father in her husband. Since she pitied her seemingly helpless father, she turned on Kevin.
There is more to it than just desire of strength and hatred of weakness-there is a latent homosexuality in Yvonne which Kevin brought to the surface for a little while when he satisfied his bride's needs orally first.
Simone de Beauvoir puts it quite succinctly when she declares in Ruitenbeek's The Problem of Homosexuality in Modern Society: Homosexuality can be for a woman a mode of flight from her situation or a way of accepting it. The great mistake of the psychoanalysts is, through moralistic conformity, to regard it as never other than an inau-thentic attitude.
Woman's homosexuality is one attempt among others to reconcile her autonomy with the passivity of her flesh. And if nature is to be invoked, one can say that all women are naturally homosexual. The Lesbian, in fact, is distinguished by her refusal of the male and her liking for feminine flesh; but every adolescent female fears penetration and masculine domination, and she feels a certain repulsion for the male body; on the other hand, the female body is for her, as for the male, an object of desire.
Yvonne's repulsion of sexual intercourse of the genital-to-genital variety is more of a psychological problem than a physical one. Her ability to reach a satisfying orgasm exclusively through oral intercourse or as a result of sadistic practices-as we shall see later-indicates a psychophysiological disturbance. Masters and Johnson, in Human Sexual Response, have concluded: Female orgasm, whether it is attained within the context of an interpersonal relationship (either heterosexual or homosexual) or by means of any combination of erotically stimulative activity and or fantasy, remains a potpourri of psychophysiologic conditions and social influence.
Kevin, by introducing Yvonne to her first orgasm orally, predetermined her preference toward this form of sexual activity. After having enjoyed cunnilingus to such a great degree, and because of fear of penetration by such a large object as she perceived, Yvonne felt it safer to remain with the form of sexual activity which she could handle both physically and emotionally.
It is also a possible hypothesis that Yvonne, having a disdain for weak men-as symbolized by her father-was attempting to degrade her obviously weak husband. If he had shown the strength she needed, it is possible that she might have submitted to his demands for genital intercourse.
All three of Yvonne's husbands exhibited the same weakness she had so despised in her father, and so she refused them penetration and insisted on oral intercourse only. In truth, Yvonne was waiting for the man who would not stand for her attitudes and would rebel.
"Poor Kevin! That great big, strapping, football hero didn't even know what had hit him. He had a wife who wouldn't allow him to fuck her, and he couldn't believe it. At first, he thought that maybe the reason I didn't want to get fucked and had held him off with blow jobs and anything else I could think of was because I really wasn't a virgin and didn't really have a cherry to pop-and that I was afraid of his finding this out.
"It wasn't very long before Kevin began to catch on. When he finally tried to penetrate me, found my cherry still there and firm as rubber, he knew it wasn't that. It took him only about four weeks to realize that all I would go for was blow jobs. I was hung up on them and didn't want to have sex any other way. I didn't mind blowing him, but I sure as hell wouldn't permit his fucking prick inside my tiny pussy!
"We talked the whole thing over and got nowhere. I went on the defensive immediately, and accused him of all sorts of things that weren't true. I even called him a faggot and a fairy. Boy, I really let him have it below the belt with everything-everything except my pussy. When it finally dawned on him that his game was going to be falling off worse and worse as the weeks rolled by-we had already returned from a wasted honeymoon and he was in spring practice-Kevin began to give more and more thought to having me put under psychoanalysis, which he thought would be the end of all our troubles. But that was the straw that broke that mother-fucking camel's back!
" 'How dare you tell me that I should go see a head-shrinker! How dare you, you fucking faggot! You're the one who needs a good shrinking! Who the hell do you think you are, telling me that I'm crazy?' I screamed at the very top of my lungs.
" 'But, Yvonne, darling,' he pleaded, trying to quiet me before someone called the cops. 'Please, listen to reason. You're not crazy, and I haven't said you were. I said you have a problem-a sex problem-and that a psychiatrist just might help you. You won't let me fuck you ... and that's just not normal!' By this time his voice was cracking. 'What do you want me to do? You're forcing me to cheat on you, and I don't want to have to do that-but if I don't fuck someone ... and soon, I'll go completely bananas!'
"That did it! 'If you cheat on me, Kevin R-, I will personally cut off both your balls and shove them up your ass!' I could feel my face turning a brilliant shade of purple as I bellowed at the top of my lungs, screeching rather than screaming.
"What ensued was a shouting match the-likes of which you are never liable to hear. We threw epithets at each other, cursing in the foulest language possible. The two of us could have made longshoremen blush. And I matched Kevin fuck for fuck, shit for shit, and mother-fucker for mother-fucker. We really had it out, that cock-sucker and me! What a verbal brawl!
"Well, he did it! He actually cheated on me! And he called my attention to it! I guess, by that time we both had ended up hating each other. He wanted to hurt me-to humiliate me, and I wanted to cut off his fucking balls. But he had already moved out on me by virtue of being away from home on out-of-town games in the minor league he got stuck in. That's a laugh on him.
"Finally, I got so's I had had enough, and I went to Reno for a quick divorce. I got quite a settlement from him, he was so fucking glad to get rid of me! I could have had a lot more if I had pushed it-considering his potential and all that-but I didn't want to shove my luck any further than need be.
"Six lonely weeks later I was a slightly wealthy, dirty divorcee. Oh, haven't you heard? All us divorcees are lascivious, sex-hungry, filthy old bitches who wouldn't hesitate to fuck a beggar on the street or steal a husband from a midget. Yeah, us cocksucking divorcees are easy lays and are always hot-didn't you know that? Well, ask anyone-they'll fill you in on us cocksucking whores.
"After Kevin, I had had a belly full of men and sex and everything! All I wanted was out-out of everything that I had known before. There wasn't any fucking place I had been before that I wanted to go back to. I just wanted to be by myself and lead a nice, normal, but perverted-type divorcee's life.
"I headed for California. I wanted the bright lights and the weird people and the feeling of getting lost in the crowd. No one knows you-no one cares about you-no one wants to know or care. Everything is just fine if you mind your own business and leave everyone else all alone. That was what I needed more than anything else. I needed anonymity.
"What I got was a mother-fucking runaround from a bunch of perverted weirdoes. First I hit San Francisco, and I make for the night life. But the hippies tell me that that is not where it's at. Haight-Ashbury-that's where it's at. But all I found there were a fucking bunch of junkies and creeps and babies without fathers. That was no scene for me.
"So I took the bus down to Los Angeles, hoping that there would be a better life there. I got off at the Hollywood station and that put me right on Vine Street. Shit, it was like right out of a movie or something. I asked directions and headed north till I got to the corner of Hollywood and Vine! Shit, what a thrill!
"While I was standing there, just drinking in the whole fucking tourist scene, this guy wanders over to me. He looks clean enough-no long hair, no moustache or beard, no filthy clothes. I knew he was going to talk to me even before he opened his mouth.
" 'Hi, there, beautiful,' he said with a grin on his face that made me think he might be harmless.
" 'Hi, there, yourself,' I replied bravely.
" 'You new in town? Bet you just came from the Midwest. I can tell.'
"I looked very puzzled and then straightened myself. 'Hell, no. I just flew down from Frisco.' I smiled inwardly at my urbanity.
"Instead of being taken aback, this stranger threw his head back and laughed right out loud! 'You just came down from Frisco? Frisco, you say?'
" 'What's so damn amusing about that, buster? Bug off before I call a cop.' I was pissed at his dumb humor.
" 'Sister,' he managed through his laughter, 'no one who comes from San Francisco calls it Frisco-that's the biggest insult you can give someone from there. That's why I'm so amused by you. You damn well are from the Midwest or the East or you would have known about that. Only the rest of us call it Frisco.' He stood there grinning-pleased at his own deductions.
" 'Listen, buster, I may be from the Midwest, but I am no hick! I've been around-a lot!'
" 'First of all, baby, my name ain't buster, it's Bernie, and second, being from the Midwest don't automatically brand you a hick. Don't be so damned defensive. I'm from Des Moines, myself. I doubt that there's a real live native Californian within twenty-five miles of here. We're all from somewheres else. Now, calm yourself down. What's your name, pretty baby?'
"Calmed considerably after that little put-down speech of Bernie's, I answered, 'Yvonne. I am sorry I tried to con you, but I just got here and I don't want everyone thinking I still got hay in my hair.'
" 'I know the feeling, Yvonne, baby. You got yourself a pad yet? If not, you can bunk in with me and couple of other lost souls.'
"His offer was so genuine that I couldn't help but take him up on it. He lived just two blocks off Sunset and Vine in a rundown apartment building. It was close enough to the action, but out of it if you wanted it that way.
"The other kids who lived with us were really nice, and Bernie was especially nice. He and I just sort of grooved together. There was something there that I couldn't explain-all I knew was that he wasn't the least bit like Kevin, and that was the main thing!
"One night Bernie came into the house and kissed me right on the lips without any warning. I really lit up like a sparkler. I kissed him back, hard, slipping my tongue into his wet mouth. He sucked my tongue sexily and put a hand to my breast.
" 'Let's make it,' I said, anxious to get this bastard in bed.
"He clasped my ass in one hand and shoved me toward the bedroom. We took off our clothes quickly and flopped into bed. I grabbed for his prick and he mashed his mouth onto mine in another passionate kiss which sent thrills of sexy feelings all up and down my back and into my cunt.
"When he released me, I went for his prick with my mouth. I swallowed the big piece of meat hungrily as he swung my hips up to his mouth and began licking and slobbering my cunt lips. I licked the head of his cock, circling the rim. Bernie moaned.
" 'Oh, baby,' he said, 'do you have a nice tongue.'
" 'Mmmmmm,' I moaned, 'I love your mouth on me, honey,'
"I continued to lick away at his beautiful cock. I got a thrill watching and feeling it grow, swelling and stretching upward and outward like a sensuous serpent. Bernie had one of those cocks that you could describe as truly pretty. The texture, coloring and shape were so nice to taste and look at.
"My tongue licked around the rim and over the top, caressing the flat portion, then over the pee hole and onto the bottom side. Bernie moaned and groaned as my tongue lovingly petted his soft skin. I pressed my open lips to the bottom of his cock on the under side and sucked gently, moving my head up to the top of his gorgeous cock. Just the tip of my tongue touched his skin as I sucked along the stiff flesh.
"Bernie was holding my hips tightly against him, licking and sucking my whole cunt area, sending waves of beautiful sensuousness all through my body. He licked from the hole up to the very top of the slit and then moved down a bit, nibbling at my joy button. Oh, shit, did he send me to the stars. We really grooved, Bernie and I. He seemed to love my body by the way he handled me and made love to me. And I dug him, too. There was a certain chemistry that we both felt. Bernie's body was one of the most attractive men's bodies I had seen or made love to.
"He cupped his eager mouth over my clitoris and pressed his tongue against it hard, all the while sucking and releasing, sucking and releasing, building my lust to marvelous heights. This, in turn, caused me to want to satisfy him more. I pushed my mouth all the way down to his pubic bone, holding his cock longingly deep in my throat before pulling back. Then I sucked and slowly moved my head back, watching his stiff, long cock appear from my loving mouth.
"We were moaning and groaning loudly. God, there wasn't a second that one of us was not expressing our fucking ecstasy. He was devouring me like a sumptuous meal; like a man eating the most delicious food his lips ever tasted. And I felt the same about the cock in my mouth. I couldn't give it enough love.
"I sucked his fucking prick all the way in and then let it out, kissing the head and sucking on it like a beautiful flower. And Bernie was sucking and licking me so voraciously, with such intensity, that I felt I never wanted him to stop. And I never wanted to stop sucking his cock. But, after a while, I felt that familiar stirring that meant I was building to my climax. I rushed my mouth up and down Bernie's cock, not only to let him know that I was about to come, but to make him come at the same time.
"He responded knowingly with harder sucks on my clitoris, increasing his speed and pressure. Suddenly, we both began to moan with the agonizing sound which accompanies an intense orgasm, our voices rising higher and higher as the fucking world begins to explode inside. As he came I gave an extra suck near the head which caused Bernie to wail as the come spurted into my waiting mouth. He bit down on my clit as he sucked damned hard, and I twitched and jerked my climax all over the fucking bed. That was one of the best goddamn love sessions I ever had in my whole fucking life.
"When we caught .our breath, we nuzzled in each other's arms, complimenting the other on such a beautiful loving. I knew right then that I wanted to marry that fucker. And that's where the problem lay-no pun intended. After we got married, all he wanted to do right away was fuck, not suck. We had the marriage annulled two days later. Lousy bastard. Why couldn't he be different? The son-of-a-bitch!
"I left that stupid 'commune' and got a job as a waitress. I just grabbed the first thing I could find to get my ass out of that hole. I just had to get away from Bernie and the rest of those creeps. What a bunch of fucking turds they were. Bums, everyone of them.
"I was on this waitress job for a couple weeks when this big muscle-bound bastard comes in and takes a shine to my ass.
" 'Hey, jelly-butt,' he says, 'how about some coffee and a roll?'
"I glared at him and said, 'Watch your goddamn language. You talk to me like a lady or you aren't even getting hot water and a toothpick.'
"He raised his brows and apologized. He was one of the regulars, and felt like he could talk to me like I was a piece of the furniture. But, as time went on, and we chatted everyday, he became more and more attractive to me. He wasn't refined or educated, but there was something about that brute which turned me on. Especially when he talked to me. I found that his rough manner actually turned me on. I just saw him as a man who got to me, and the fact that he worked in construction didn't matter.
"One day he came in for lunch and asked me to go out with him to a dance bar the following night. I accepted. He picked me up at my apartment, and we took off to a joint a little ways out of town. We got stoned on beer and had a hell of a good time. When the bar closed he drove me to his place. I didn't protest. I wanted to go to bed with this hulk anyway.
"He pulled some beer out of the refrigerator, and we sat in our drunken stupor making jokes and having a grand time. Then he picked me up off the couch like I weighed two ounces. Shit, was he strong.
" 'What're you doing, Freddie?' I squealed.
"He walked with me in his arms into the next room. 'Tonight your ass is gonna get fucked, baby. I've been waiting too long for your ass already.'
"And with that he plunked me down on his bed and began taking my clothes off. I only half resisted, not appreciating his directness too much. When I was totally naked he took his clothes off and turned on a dim table lamp. Shit, did he have a prick! That mother-fucker was nine inches soft! Shit, he was hung like a stud horse.
"Freddie climbed on top of me and started swinging his cock between my thighs. I bent forward, grabbing his cock in my hand.
" 'Let's suck,' I said. 'I'll give you a good blow job and you can lick me. Won't that be good, Freddie?'
"His prick was hard and ready to go. 'No, that won't be good,' he bellowed. 'Fucking would be good, you sexy ass you. You're gonna get the best fuck you ever had.'
"I protested. Goddamn it, I thought, here we go again. This got Freddie mad and he slapped me across the face.
" 'I don't suck any fucking broad,' he yelled, and slapped me across my arm, making a loud, smacking sound. He was hurting me, but I didn't mind it too much. I didn't panic or feel like running away. He grabbed my hips and jabbed his prick into my cunt. I kept yelling at him to stop fucking me, but he kept slapping me and shaking me to try to get me to shut up. The more he slapped and pinched and jerked me around the more I was getting to enjoy his fucking. I was really getting excited with his prick inside me all the while he kept beating on me.
"Even when I remained quiet, he would swear at me and slap my ass, pinch my flesh, and otherwise act in a sadistic manner. After a while I was so sexually excited I began yelling back at him, giving him encouragement to continue his assault on my body.
" 'You fucking bastard, you!' I yelled, throwing my hips at him, feeling his giant prick poke all the way to the back of my cunt.
" 'You mother-fucking whore,' he screamed, and hit me across the face, at the same time jamming his cock in and out of my tight cunt. 'Don't talk back to me, bitch!' he yelled, fuming like a mad bull.
"Another slap across the other cheek.
"I was getting even more passionate. I was liking his rough treatment-responding to itliking the fucking and the slapping. He was pounding into me with ferocious impact, hurting my cunt hole and the bone around the opening, but it only got me more excited.
"Suddenly, he wrapped his huge arms around me and hugged me so tight I thought I was going to suffocate. He rammed and slammedand I came! For the first time in my life, I came from a fucking! I was thrilled when he came, too. But I was worried. There seemed to be only two ways I could come-by getting sucked off or by being slapped around. That's when I began to wonder if maybe Kevin hadn't been right, after all. Maybe I did need help."
Yvonne finally sought the psychiatric help she so desperately needed. Only time will tell if she will be able to share a normal relationship with a man. There is hope, though, since Yvonne is willing to try. The will to try is worth more than all the psychiatry medical men can dispense.
CHAPTER THREE
Piranha in a Goldfish Bowl?
"I became a divorcee shortly after my twenty-eighth birthday, and my first feeling was that I was like someone stranded on a desert island. I felt as if I knew no one in New York even though I had lived there for ten years. Friends stopped inviting me to their homes; the girls I used to lunch with-mostly on martinis and a chefs salad-suddenly made themselves inaccessible. It was my first indication that married women often consider new divorcees as dangerous as piranhas in a goldfish bowl. Everybody was afraid of me.
"For some reason I could not understand, they thought I was on the prowl, that I wanted above all to lay their husbands or, even worse, persuade them to leave home and flee with me to Rio or Paris. What astonished me most, I think, was the idea that ending my marriage had suddenly turned me into a raving sex maniac. My sole purpose in life, these women seemed to think, was to find sex, as much as I could handle.
"What was funny about all this was that, although I did have a lousy sex life and had been frustrated sexually during the years of my marriage, I was too shy to run after any man.
"It wasn't my marriage that turned me shy. No, I was shy long before I came to New York. You see, I grew up in a very small town in Ohio. My folks were hardworking farmers and very religious. I went to church regularly, belonged to the 4H Youth Club, and went to dances held by the local grange. Until I came to New York, I think my greatest thrill was seeing Billy Graham at a mammoth rally.
"Now, don't misunderstand. I'm not backward and not provincial. I knew about sex when I was in high school because I read about it in books the kids passed to one another. I had spoken to girls who had had affairs and I had even heard the famous four-letter words. Later, when I came to New York to go to college, I learned a lot more. The girls I mixed with had all been around. Some of them were in the theater, some were in business and a lot were kids who had rebelled against their narrow small town existences and had fled to Manhattan like me.
"They spoke frankly about sex with anyone who would listen, had affairs with whomever they chose, and used a blue lingo that would have curled the hair of a longshoreman if he'd heard them. Publicly, a lot of girls I knew put on a sweet, young, dumb-thing image. Privately, they did anything they liked. The first time I heard a girl talk about getting 'fucked' or getting 'head,' I was so startled I turned pink. But after a while I got used to that and even more vivid language.
"The big difference between me and the girls I knew in Manhattan was that they practiced what they talked about while I did not. Most of the girls had lost their virginity by the time they were seventeen or eighteen. I kept mine till I was twenty-three. I was just too straight, that's all. How else can I put it? I sided with them intellectually. I believed sex should be free and easy, that you should sleep with anyone you like without feeling guilty.
"I even used some of the blue language-though one girl from Chicago insisted that hearing me use the word 'fuck' was like watching a little girl parrot her older brother. Whenever I said 'fuck you, Gladys' or 'shit on that, Ruth' or 'balls!' she felt as if I ought to have my mouth washed out with soap and water. And she was right. They didn't come from the heart. I was sexually liberated from an intellectual point of view. But deep down I was as naive as a hillbilly girl from the Ozarks-and many of those had had a lot more sex than I did by twenty-three.
"My sex life started when I was married to a very conservative lawyer who soon turned out to be the most rigid person I had ever met. He seldom laughed, he never used profanity, he disliked smoking and drinking and loathed anyone who did. What he had going for him was a tall, dark, strong-chinned handsomeness that had an outdoors look. He was intelligent, hardworking, and he was already well established as an attorney in an old New York firm.
"I fell for him the first time we met at a party. I was intrigued because he was the only man in the room still in his early thirties who wore a vest.
"We went out every night for a week and then Ralph proposed to me. I remember being a little puzzled by the fact that he remained formal even in our lovemaking. When he kissed me good-night, for instance, it was a quick peck on the lips such as he might have given his grandmother.
"Once he inadvertently touched my breast and he apologized. Not once during our several months' engagement-he insisted on a long one because it was proper-did he try to sleep with me.
"It was not easy on me. He did kiss me often and dance with me at parties and public places, and it made me nervous to feel his erection moving against my crotch. I wanted him to make love to me, but nothing was further from his mind.
"I recall one night when we were at a party given by his senior partner in the law firm. I had had several glasses of champagne and we started dancing. The floor was crowded, and after a few moments we danced very close. I could feel his cock swell up against my thighs, and in my new glow of excitement, I pressed back. In a moment my pussy was sopping wet and I could see from his face that he was sexually aroused. I had a vision of his carting me off to his apartment, ripping off my dress, of us lying side by side, sweaty, hot, naked, and of his putting his stiff prick in my slit.
"If I hadn't been a little tight, I might not have given him the sign I did: a sign that I was ready. During a brief pause in the music, as the dancers hemmed us in, I let my hand slip between our bodies, and, quickly and discreetly, I touched his cock.
"It could have been an accident-a simple brush of his cock with my fingers-but I wanted him to know. At any rate, he ignored it. And later that night, he was careful to kiss me even more formally than before. When I invited him inside my flat, he shook his head with a grave expression.
" 'No, dear. That is dangerous. We're getting married. I don't like cheap affairs. I wouldn't respect you if we did it now. Besides,' he added with an unconvincing attempt at humor, 'I can't support us plus a child until I get my promotion.'
"I should have been warned then that he would be difficult to live with. And he was. I had to submerge my own individuality bit by bit. I was a shadow, a sounding board for him. At times I felt like an echo of him because I could never feel my own identity. And, of course, the worst part for me was our sex life. He liked artifice and I liked spontaneity. He hated that. He had to plan every step of our sex life.
"He disliked me to show any interest in sex, even the slightest. If I touched his cock playfully in bed or told him I wanted to feel it stiff inside my cunt, he would immediately bristle. The use of a four-letter word drove him wild.
" 'Darling, I've been thinking how wonderful your cock feels inside me. Fuck me, sweetheart,' I'd tell him when we were in bed and I'd reach over and play with his cock.
"He would shake my hand off coldly. 'Don't do that, and don't talk that way to me. I'm your husband, damn you, not somebody you picked up in a bar. I'm horrified to hear you use language like that. Now stop it!'
"He made it clear that he would be the one who decided when to make love. He would be the one to make the overtures that led to our intercourse attempts. I call them attempts because they were usually nightmares for me. If he was in a tolerably good mood, we might have intercourse about once a week. Generally, this meant a very rapid foreplay during which he kissed my breasts perfunctorily and stroked them for ten seconds.
"Having failed to arouse me-often he would decide he wanted me after I had resigned myself to sleeping-he would poke his stiff cock into my dry pussy. And, if you have ever felt a dry peter in you when you're not wet, not properly lubricated, it feels like your vagina's being sandpapered. I hated it. I would try to stall him off from penetrating me at that moment by pleading a need to go to the bathroom.
"There I would finger my cunt, moving my forefinger in and out and against my clitoris until I was somewhat lubricated. Then, and only then, would I submit to letting him put his cock in. But the little masturbation ploy did not automatically end my sex problem. After his cock did get into me, I'd get terribly worked up. He was a very athletic man and strong, and, despite my feeling of being smothered by him, I was attracted to him physically.
"I would get so worked up as his cock moved inside my wet pussy that I'd shout and laugh over his nipples and belly and, sometimes, when I lost all sense of what I was doing, my mouth would seize his cock and start to suck it fiercely.
"This happened because I had almost blacked out with sexual desire, and I did not know or care what I was doing. In my more normal moments of lovemaking, I was aware-if only subconsciously-of the fact that sucking a man's cock was considered out of bounds. That it was sodomy, a form of sexual perversion. Sinful, unhealthy, and to be strenuously avoided despite the airy admissions of some of my girl friends that they had done it and even enjoyed it.
"The first time I sucked his cock, I took him by surprise. He had been lying on his back, panting right after a particularly vigorous bout of lovemaking. He told me he wanted to rest a moment. And I could see his cock shrinking in size. Still wild with my own heady excitement, I swooped down on his cock and licked it, moving my tongue over the head of his wilted prick. The effect was instantaneous. It began to swell in my mouth. But even as he groaned with delight at having his cock licked, he pulled away from me. He plunged it into me without a word and quickly reached his climax. He had no interest in mine, which did not surprise me too much. He had never waited for me or tried to satisfy me.
"The next time I lost control that way and tried to lick his cock, he got angry. 'I don't want you ever to do that again. Do you hear me? That's a whore's thing. No respectable woman ever does that! You can be prosecuted and put in jail for oral copulation!'
" 'But, darling, we're married!' I protested. 'And we love each other.'
" 'That makes absolutely no difference! I will not have my wife-acting like a whore!'
"He was so angry that I never did it again.
But that did not stop him from bringing it up frequently during our many quarrels. He would allude to it as an example of my instability, my nervousness, my poor upbringing, and more. I knew he was straitlaced and religious, but this deliberate display of malice was too much for me. I talked to some of the other women in our social circle and discovered that all of them did it.
" 'Darling,' the wife of one of his own partners told me frankly, 'unless I eat John during intercourse, he's not stiff enough to do me any good.'
"Another wife told me that she could prod her man into trying a second penetration only by sucking his cock until he was very close to coming.
"When I told Ralph about my conversations, he pretended to be very shocked. When I added that one of the women, a buxom brunette named Laura, had confessed that she loved sucking a man's cock, he acted livid with rage and told me to stop my 'cheap gossiping.' After that, I never tried doing any sucking again.
"I was afraid he would do something violent-like beating me-since he made me feel utterly miserable for having gone down on him. His insistence that it was cheap, whorish, and illegal-plus my own somewhat provincial upbringing-combined to make the whole thing traumatic for me. I drummed it out of my mind and this fear of the act was to lead to difficulty for me after I was divorced.
"Our relations became worse after that. But I hung on for three years longer, because I did not believe in divorce. Where I came from, that was a sad admission of failure, for a woman. And I feared the inevitable loneliness that would follow. At least Ralph and I talked.
"But soon even that deteriorated into monosyllabic comments on the food and such. I became more and more fidgety under his tight-fisted control of my activities, his doling out of my allowance. I would have to beg him almost on my knees for additional money to buy clothes I needed.
"But, as I said, I hung on despite our quarrels and my increasing unhappiness until one day I caught him cheating on me. And even then I might have stayed with him if it had not been for the special circumstances. I had gone to an alumni meeting at my college and had told Ralph I would be back about midnight.
"Instead, feeling a headache coming on strong, I left around eight. About half an hour later, I let myself in quietly with my key, thinking I would have a drink and watch some TV alone. Ralph had told me he would dine after a late office meeting with his two partners. As I entered the living room, I heard my husband laughing in the bedroom, and a second later a familiar woman's laugh. I immediately recognized her voice as soon as she spoke. It was the wife of Ralph's partner, Laura, who had told me that she loved to suck a man's cock.
"I crept closer and peeked through the keyhole. My husband and Laura were in bed, naked, and she was busily sucking his stiff cock. His eyes were rolling in his head with the pleasure of it, the bastard! Not only that, but he was so excited, he could barely lay still. His body was twitching nervously on the white sheets while her mouth moved all around his crotch.
" 'Oooooh ... aaaaah ... aaaaah ... aaaah!' he kept saying as he twitched. 'Please, baby ... please, Laura! Stop ... just for a minute! Let me catch my breath. Ooooooh, just a minute!'
"She stopped and laughed at him. 'How does my cocksucking compare with your wife's, dear?'
"He laughed harshly. 'Inga? She's terrible. She chews on it like my cock's a cigar. She's the worst I've ever had!'
" 'And the best?' Laura asked teasingly.
" 'Well, next to you, dear, there were a couple of call girls I've had in Washington and a girl while I was in the army overseas. Inga can't compare with any of you. To be honest, I don't like getting blown by my wife as much as by another girl.'
"She then slapped him playfully and giggled. 'I get one more try. If I'm not the best, I'm giving up. You've had a year and a half to decide between me and your other girl friends.'
"With that she proceeded to suck him vigorously again and he began to moan out load. I broke away from the door and fled. I suppose I should have burst in angrily and beat the living daylights out of her. But I was too ill. I was nauseous by what I saw and heard. The dirty hypocrite bastard had been getting sucked by her for over a year and who knew how many others? Moreover, he had spent money on call girls while denying me a decent allowance. I wanted no more to do with him. I could not even stand the sight of him.
"I never went back to the place. Instead I called one of my friends and stayed with her. A week later she went to pick up my things, and a couple of days after that I filed for divorce. Ralph was furious and said he would contest it, refusing to consider a fair split of our common holdings. When my lawyer told him that his little affair with the wife of his senior partner and superior in the firm would be fully aired in court, Ralph went white quickly.
"The divorce became a simple affair after that and my monetary worries were over at least for a while. But if my financial worries were gone, other problems remained. I felt worthless, no good, unwanted, rejected. I moved about in a state of rejection and an almost constant depression that was made worse by the coolness of our married friends. Since most of them were involved with Ralph's business or past personal life, I soon found myself thrown on my own resources. I could either see my old friends, the married ones mainly, or else I could go to bars or restaurants alone or to singles affairs. Unless, that is, I preferred to stagnate in the small apartment I had leased.
"For weeks I did nothing but lay around the house, except on the days when I could get a job as a substitute teacher. I had been trained as a teacher, but jobs were scarce by the time I got a divorce decree. I did not need the money. What I needed was the feeling that I could do something on my own, that I wasn't a parasite, an alimony collector. And the occasional teaching assignments gave me some of that.
"But not enough. I would spend days on end looking at old movies on TV, drinking at bars in the neighborhood or taking expanded shopping tours. Often I would even forget where I was going. I would wind up in a locale miles from my home, totally oblivious to what I had been doing. Several times I nearly ran into cars. It was terrifying.
"Nothing seemed to help the loneliness I felt. Not pills, not calling school chums or the visits to museums and theatres. Being with a mass of people was no good. I needed someone with whom I could be on an intimate one-to-one basis. I had avoided prowling the bars in my area at night, taking care to do my drinking in them before six P.M. Now I began to dress myself to the hilt and make a beeline for a bar in midtown Manhattan where I knew pickups were easily made.
"I was picked up about an hour after I entered the bar by a man in his forties who wore expensive-looking clothes and a gold watch with diamonds. He was very urbane, and talked to me for an hour about theatre, music and travel-he had been to Europe twice recently-before he suggested that we go somewhere for a bite. I was not very surprised when, in our taxi, he suggested we go to his apartment, which he insisted had a great view of the river.
"I knew what would probably happen at his place, but I didn't care. In fact, I was ready for it. When he held my hand in the cab, I found myself perspiring and feeling very nervous. When he leaned over and kissed me quickly on the lips, I felt an unexpected readiness in my groin that delighted me. I realized that I wanted to have intercourse again more than I had thought.
"He did not, fortunately, rush things. We had another drink on the veranda overlooking the river. The view was, indeed, gorgeous. All he did then was kiss me a few times. Then we had some shrimp cocktails and good steaks washed down with a fine champagne, a Dom Perignon. Everything about Arthur pleased me. He was an art collector, and the apartment was filled with fine paintings he had picked up during his frequent trips overseas for his import-export firm.
"Everything would have gone fine if he had not begun his lovemaking as he did. What happened was that after dinner, as we sat on the couch, he suddenly opened his fly and took out his cock. Then he looked at me expectantly. I was so surprised that I nearly spilled the liqueur in my hand. He watched me for a moment and then frowned.
" 'Now, come on, dear,' he said gently. 'I'm waiting.'
" 'Please, Arthur,' I stammered, 'I ... I can't do what you expect me to.'
"He laughed. 'And just what's so terrible about playing with my penis, dear? We're both grown-ups.'
"I looked at him and smiled embarrassedly.
After a few moments of silence I placed my hand on his stiff, white prick. It gave off a nice odor of cologne. I immediately had a vision of him spraying his crotch with some expensive scent. I pulled and caressed at it, hoping that he would not ask for much more. But after a few jerks of his cock, he asked me to suck it for him.
"I got very red and shook my head quickly. He placed a hand on my neck with a reassuring pat.
"'What's the matter?' he said. 'I'm quite clean, I assure you. Please, Inga, eat it for me and then we'll make love inside.'
" 'Arthur, I can't. Please don't ask me,' I pleaded.
"I continued to stroke his spongy cock, letting my fingers move to his balls. But he was soon angry. He demanded an explanation. I was too flustered to say anything for a moment. How could I tell him that Ralph had filled me with a self-loathing for wanting to suck his prick, that I had come to hate the idea of putting a man's cock in my mouth, that the mere idea nauseated me?
"When I did tell him I was afraid of the act, he promptly got down on his knees, parted my knees and began to suck my pussy.
" 'It's very simple,' he said, his head nuzzling between my thighs. 'You just suck, playing with the head of my cock with your tongue just as I'm doing with you.'
"I tried to tell him that I thought the act immoral, but he merely laughed.
" 'Don't be silly, Inga. Anything that expresses love or affection between a man and a woman is good and healthy. Now try it.'
"I tried ... I will say that. I bent over his lap and took his stiff cock into my mouth. I moved my tongue over it, but after a moment I stopped. Red-faced and angry with my own cowardliness, I told him I had a bad headache. I took his hand and asked him to forgive me.
" 'Arthur,' I said quietly, 'listen to me. I like you. I like you enormously. I need someone like you, but I cannot do this. Don't make me do anything so humiliating. Please.'
"He kissed me and walked me to the door.
" 'All right,' he said soberly, 'we'll let it go this time. But unless you can work that out, I think we'd better call this quits. I've had too many neurotics. I just can't take any more. Think about it. If you feel you can do it, then let's have dinner again tomorrow night. Here.' "
Having been brought up in a small town in Ohio, Inga found her moralities were fine as long as she was married, but were out of place in the more realistic world of the unmarried. She had caught the interest of her husband, Ralph, simply because she had had such a fine small-town upbringing. Her moral sense of values shone through and made her a highly acceptable wife for Ralph.
Unfortunately, these same moral standards which had intrigued him at the time of their marriage, were to be the ruination of their marriage. When Inga attempted to perform fellatio on her husband, he became outraged, berating her for having ever attempted such an act. Although he had allowed other women to fellate him on various occasions, he could not bring himself to permit his own wife to do so.
Alfred C. Kinsey and his co-workers, in Sexual Behavior in the Human Female, emphasizes the social control which has been placed on civilized people: Most societies have recognized the necessity of protecting their members from those who impose sexual relationships on others by the use of force, and our own culture extends the same sort of restriction to those who use such intimidation as an adult may exercise over a child or such undue influence as a social superior may exercise over an underling. ... In addition our culture considers that social interests are involved when an individual departs from the Judeo-Christian sex codes by engaging in such sexual activities as masturbation, mouth-genital contacts, homosexual contacts, animal contacts, and other types of behavior which do not satisfy the procreative function of sex.
Ralph felt that oral sexual activity was wrong and indecent, but he enjoyed it, nevertheless. He practiced it with those other than his own wife. His wife was to remain clean and sinless, while he sinned to his heart's content with other men's wives for whom he had little or no respect.
Inga, in trying to please her husband's sexual wants, became what Ralph considered a "whore." To him, as to many others, the very act of fellatio is only performed by prostitutes and whores. This is what people have been taught and this is what they believe.
In Sex Habits of American Men, Alfred Deutsch explains: Personal conflict and the anti-social results of sexual behavior obviously affect women as well as men. It is, however, quite easy for most people to evade responsibility for what happens to the damaged people who crowd our courts, with the result that if they were not damaged before they came to the attention of the authorities, there is more than a fair probability that they will be harmed in the process.
Inga, by having been declared a whore by her husband, and by having been scorned as a divorcee by her friends, was almost immeasurably harmed by the ordeal. And since many of our beliefs and mores have been carried over from the 19th century, there is a tendency to believe what one has been taught, even though these old teachings can be completely refuted by new moral standards of our changing society.
Inga's own feelings about being a divorced woman were basically from her childhood. She had heard her parents and grandparents speak of the divorced women in town. Subconsciously, Inga brought those same beliefs into a modern world. John McPartland pointed out the origin of the "evil" divorcee in his Sex in Our Changing World: Divorce was an admission of sin by both parties concerned, since the wife was supposed to suffer the husband except in unusual circumstances. The wife who divorced her husband lost her first-class membership in the society of good women, partially because she touched the taboo, partially because she represented a danger.
This was the attitude of the good women of the 19th century who dictated social standards. Inga, believing herself an undesirable and whorish woman, found it difficult to adjust to divorced life. Although she wanted to please her new suitor, Arthur, she had had it so ingrained in her that to fellate was whorish, and to be divorced was sinful, that she was very nearly lost to the chaste life forever. But for circumstances beyond her control, Inga might have never seen Arthur again or found happiness.
"I couldn't sleep after I left Arthur. I tossed-and turned for hours in my bed, and finally gave up entirely. What on earth was wrong with me? I thought. I was shutting the door on a wonderful relationship with an intelligent, cultivated man just because he asked me to suck on his cock. I tried to envision myself doing it. I daydreamed getting down on my knees, taking his prick out of his pants and putting it between my lips.
"I imagined myself taking it in its soft, flaccid form, kissing the head as it peeked from beneath its hood of skin. I tried to imagine his prick smooth and sweet to taste, filling my mouth gradually and then suddenly mushrooming till it felt enormous.
"But each time I did, the same words echoed in my ear. The voice of my husband calling me names. I would hear him say I was acting like a whore. Then I would hear him telling Laura that I did the sucking badly, that I was hopelessly amateurish.
"I reasoned with myself. From a rational point of view, I knew I was acting stupid. But what I had done with Ralph when I sucked his cock had been without any self-awareness. I had simply swooped down on his cock and licked it, hoping to give both him and myself pleasure.
"When Ralph called me the names he did, he must have triggered all the doubts I had about the act before. He made me newly aware of the attitudes I had grown up with. The feeling that it was a bad act, a humiliating act. I tried to talk myself out of it, but the plain fact was I really felt I was acting cheap and slutty if I went down on a man.
"Not even seeing Ralph being sucked by Laura had changed that. I just hated every minute of the act. I felt very depressed about it, and the idea of doing it again just nauseated me now. I went over and over the damned thing in my mind wondering what I would do the next day.
"Having reached an impasse, and beside myself with worry about losing Arthur, I called one of my old friends, another divorcee named Paula. Paula had been single several months longer than I, and she was much more self-reliant than I. Somehow I felt that she might help me. To my relief, she told me to come right over.
" 'But it's after midnight,' I protested.
" 'Grab a cab. Or I'll get one. We obviously can't discuss the pros and cons of blow jobs over the telephone. Not even in New York City. Come on. You're having a hard time-maybe I can help you.'
"She did. I told her how badly I felt about the thing with Arthur, and how I had hesitated so long before I had even gone out to be picked up. I told her my worries about becoming a cheap pick-up.
" 'Don't be a fool, Inga,' she snorted. 'If you like the man, do anything he wants. Eat him, beat him, or tie him up in knots. It's just another slant on lovemaking.'
"'I know I'm being idiotic,' I said. 'But I keep thinking that it's insulting to have a man do that. Take you up to his place and then pull out his cock for you to eat.'
"She laughed and shook her head at my naivete. 'Listen to me. Just do it, for God's sake, and forget about that small-town morality they saddled you with in Ohio.'
" 'I can't help it. I feel put down. I just met the man. We get along wonderfully-talked about art and music ... all on a real high level. Then, suddenly, he wants me to go down on him. I feel revolted.'
" 'You've been brainwashed by that bastard you married,' Paula said. 'Personally, I enjoy giving a man I like head. It gives me a sense of importance. Frankly, I dig it. Don't let all that hypocritical blather from a bastard who's probably had his cock sucked by a dozen whores spoil your own chances for fun.'
" 'That's just it,' I wailed. 'Since Ralph went after me about eating him and hit me with how it's a whore's trick, I find myself agreeing with him. I just can't help it. But I'll try. I'll really try. I hate the idea of losing Arthur.'
"And I did try. The next evening I went back to his apartment and put it out of my mind. We had a good dinner and afterwards Arthur played some Chopin on his lovely piano. Later, as we sat on the veranda admiring the million lights of Manhattan glittering like so many jewels on velvet, I toyed with his crotch. I kept stroking his cock from the outside until his breath came faster and he took me inside and closed the drapes.
" 'I don't want my neighbors to see the next act of this play,' he said, laughing. 'Besides, I'm afraid my member may get a bit chilly.'
"Once we were back inside, I opened his fly and took out his cock. For a long while I just stared at it. Nothing was said by either of us. He knew I was trying to prepare myself. I studied its length and thickness. He had washed it very carefully, and I could inhale the odor of a fine Castilian soap in addition to the same cologne he had used the day before.
"As I continued to hesitate there on the couch, he rose, undid his belt, and dropped his pants. Then he lowered his shorts. Slowly he took them off. Smiling at me, he placed his head back on the pillows at the end of the couch. His legs were on my lap. His cock was already standing up as proof of his sexual excitement.
"I could see his thick bush of light brown hair around his thickly erect shaft. He had a much heavier bush there than Ralph, and I could not help thinking that there must be some relation between Arthur's thick head of hair and his equally large growth below. Ralph's scalp had been covered rather skimpily.
"I liked Arthur's balls, too. They were perfectly shaped. Again I felt a readiness in my groin. I could feel the sharp sense of excitement mushrooming in me. And maybe, if he had given me a few moments more, it all might have worked out. But he misunderstood my feelings. I was getting ready to do it. I swear I was. But, every time I lowered my head, I felt a wave of nausea. The old fear. The old reluctance.
"Finally, I said to myself: The hell with it! It's now or never! I decided that the best way to do it would be to nuzzle his cock with my lips until I could get used to it.
"I touched the head of his prick with my lips. Very lightly, just barely making contact. Then I let my tongue glide along the side of his prick.... Up and down, up and down. I could feel his breath coming faster as he anticipated the pleasure of having me suck him.
"Then, very slowly, I concentrated in one area-the section that ended just beyond the head of his cock. I let my tongue move along the side of the head of his member in a rhythmic fashion. After a moment more of this, I would be so accustomed to licking the outside of his cock that I could swoop on it and swallow it.
"And I think that's what would have happened. But I had reckoned without the effect on poor Arthur. As my tongue kept moving up and down the head of his cock, he began to twitch on the couch and move his cock closer and closer to my lips. I should have understood this. But, until I sucked my husband, I had never given anyone head. I had always assumed that the man got excited only when his cock was actually in a girl's mouth.
"I thought that tonguing the side of his cock would simply be a pleasant, but not overexciting, caress such as I might do with my fingers. So I persisted in it and, of course, I nearly drove him out of his mind. He was patient with me for a long time. I must admit that. But how long can you let a girl slide her hot, wet tongue along your stiff cock's most sensitive part? Almost as if she were playing a harmonica.
"I should have understood what his low moans meant. But I didn't. As I sucked at the outside of the bulbous head of his prick, he began to emit these sounds. I was aware of them, but I was intent on my own task-I was counting off in a kind of mental countdown before swallowing his cock. Intent on that, I paid no heed to the sounds.
"Suddenly, the moans grew louder and I heard him say, as he moved his cock in counterpoint to my weaving tongue, 'Oh, that's lovely, darling. That is gorgeous! Oh ... oh ... ooooohhhh! Don't stop! Oh, baby ... I've never had a blow job like this before! I think you've really invented something new. Until now, I thought the only way to do it was for a girl to take it straight into her mouth!'
"He groaned loudly. 'But what you're doing is better! Much, much better! Oh, shit, Inga ... your tongue is working me up to a point where I'm ready to go out of my skull! Where I'm ready to explode! Oh ... aaaaahhhh! What a lovely sensation! Soon, please, darling, finish me soon! Don't keep me waiting!'
"I kept sucking the outside of his cock as I got closer and closer to my own big come, and I was getting close! I was beginning to widen the radius of my sucking then, weaving from the head of his cock to his balls. I licked the outside of his balls and then moved quickly to the head of his cock.
"The mixture of odors began to affect me, too. I could smell the soap with which he had washed his cock, the cologne he had used, and also his own sweaty flesh. As his own sexual excitement continued to grow, the scent of his own flesh grew more and more powerful until finally the odor emanating from his crotch was the dominant one. And it had a very stimulating effect on me.
"I think-no, I'm almost sure-that in another couple of minutes I would have swallowed the head of that cock of his and sucked it to the end-until he came. But, before that could happen, he had become so aroused he couldn't wait any longer. My side swiping had driven him nearly mad with desire. He couldn't wait any longer, and, frankly, he became impatient with me.
"I didn't realize then, but I do now, so I can forgive him for what he did. But, at that instant, I could not. What happened came with such a suddenness that it just stunned me. I was busy moving my tongue up and down on the outside of his cock when suddenly I heard him say: 'Oh, no! No ... no ... I can't stand this any longer. Come on! Come on! Goddamn you, come on!'
"And, while he was saying that, he stabbed at my mouth with his stiff cock. When I moved my head away a little, he altered his own course so that his cock plunged directly into my mouth.
" 'Suck me, for Pete's sake! Suck me ... damn you! Don't just play games! What the hell do you think I am? You're driving me up the wall! How long do you think I can take that tongue of yours that way?'
"And, as the angry words gushed out of him, he kept jabbing at my mouth with his stiff cock, forcing me to receive it, shutting off my own words, shutting off my own breath even. I don't know if you can understand my own panicky feeling at that moment. It was as if someone had suddenly stuffed a big, fat candle down my throat, choking off all efforts to breathe.
"That's what his cock felt like. like some enormous object that threatened not only to fill my mouth, but also to move on down further into my windpipe-even into my stomach unless I stopped it. He kept jabbing at my mouth. I tried to pull away from his cock, but he wouldn't let me go. When I tried to swerve aside, he grabbed my head angrily with his strong hands and held me in a fixed position so he could continue to pump his cock into my aperture.
"I tried to get words out to stop him. I know I tried, but with his cock in my mouth and in my state of near panic whatever I said was largely incoherent. Meanwhile, he continued to pump his cock into my mouth until he finally had his orgasm.
"All the time, he was shouting how wonderful it was. 'Oh, my God! Oh! Oh! Oh! I've never had one like this! Oh! Keep sucking ... keep sucking! Oh! I'm coming.... Aaaahhh!'
"Suddenly, I felt his semen gushing into my mouth. I could taste its saltiness, and some of the white, sticky substance dribbled down my chin as he pulled out of my sore mouth.
"I was immediately filled with a powerful sense of nausea and then anger-a terrible anger because he had forced his cock into my mouth; he had forced me to swallow his come! He had forced me to submit to a kind of sexual assault that even the night before would have seemed incredible coming from him.
"I jumped up from the couch as he lay back on the pillows, panting from his own exertions. Just as I reached the door of his apartment, he leaped up and seized my arm.
" 'Where are you going, for Pete's sake?' he asked. 'We just got started. Give me a minute and we'll do the rest.'
"I shook his arm off angrily. 'Get your arm off of me, you disgusting bastard! What do you think I am, forcing your cock on me like that? You realize you almost choked me to death, ramming it down my throat like that? Stabbing at me like that?'
" 'But, Inga, I couldn't help myself,' Arthur protested. 'I was going out of my head. Couldn't you see that? You were driving me crazy, sucking me like that on the side of my cock! Nobody has ever done that to me. I usually get it straight on. A girl swallows my cock and that's it. But, I thought you just wanted to tease me a little because you had a sense of humor or something. I figured you were playing a cat-and-mouse game with my cock just because you thought it amusing. Or maybe you wanted me to beg you....'
" 'I was trying to work myself into a state where I could swallow it, damn you!' I said furiously. 'But you never gave me the chance!'
" 'How was I to know?' he complained. 'My God, Inga, do you know what kind of pressure I was under? Have you any idea what you did to me? After a while that damned tongue of yours ... I mean, it became a cumulative thing. At the beginning I thought I could control myself. But it was like being caught in a fantastic undertow. I couldn't help myself. Can't you understand that?'
" 'No, I can't understand that!' I retorted. 'All I understand is that you saw fit to treat me like an animal or like some filthy masturbation machine. If you had just been carried away because of my sucking and then stopped when you saw me choking and trying to yell at you, I could have understood. But you kept on and on and on until you came in my mouth. It's a wonder I didn't become violently ill! As a matter-of-fact, I feel like throwing up right now!'
"He begged me to stay, pleaded that he was extremely fond of me, that he could not help what had happened. It did no good. I was so enraged that nothing he could have put up in his defense would have gotten through to me then. I felt used-humiliated beyond belief-like some slut who had been used for a 'quickie' and then palmed off with a cheap excuse because, during the act of sex, the man had struck her repeatedly. I felt bruised inside and out.
"I left, slamming the door, and took a taxi home. During the next few days, he called me repeatedly. He begged me to forgive him. At times he even sounded as if his voice was cracking with emotion. He told me that he could not sleep for thinking about me, that he had never met anyone like me before and realized what a lousy thing he had done. But I was in no mood to listen. Most of the times he called, I hung up after a few seconds. At others, I listened silently as the tears welled up in my eyes-feeling sorry for myself because I had put faith in him. I had thought him so different.
"After a while, the walls of my tiny apartment really began to move in on me. It felt as if I had locked myself into some prison. Paula called me and asked me to accompany her to a singles' dance that was being given at one of the smaller hotels in Manhattan. I had read many advertisements about such events, and had toyed with going to them. But then I reflected that they would probably be jammed with lonely, miserable divorcees just like me.
"They would be sitting there, staring hungrily for some guy to dance with them-begging for recognition that they were, indeed, still attractive and feminine. I had shied away from the whole thing. But this time I needed it. I needed to find another man who would treat me decently, who might want me for something more than just a fast blow job.
"I went with Paula, but almost as soon as I entered the crowded, cavernous room I hated it. The women, most of them looking like the walking dead, were lined against the walls as if they were asking for alms. And the men-arrogant, cocky, swaggering-would pass them by. At intervals one of them would get a dance bid. Still, I was too lonely to care, so when a big truck driver type finally swung me out onto the floor, I went along gladly.
"He was well over six feet tall, had arms like a wrestler, and spoke mostly in grunts. But he was surprisingly light on his feet, and after my experience with Arthur's genteel, urbane conversation, I actually preferred this man's strong, silent approach. Or, at least, that's what I told myself.
"We danced several sets, then, with a smile that seemed genuine and harmless, he asked me to go somewhere with him for a drink. We went to a bar a few blocks away, and had several stingers. If it had not been for the alcohol, I might not have gone to his place afterwards. But I was in no mood to put up resistance, and I was still grateful for his attentions.
"When he asked me to come to his place for a nightcap, I went along. I figured I was too sleepy to have any sex, anyhow. Not that evening. Maybe if it worked out well between us, that might come later. But at that time, I was a washout. He would have to accept that. And he would when he saw the state I was in.
"He refused to accept it! Five minutes after we entered his place, he was mauling me. His hands ripped impatiently at my dress until he got it off. I fought him a little, but I mostly just closed my eyes and fell back on the couch. I figured he would give up like a good sport and let me sleep it off. Try tomorrow, maybe.
"He didn't! I had fallen asleep when suddenly I felt a mouth sucking away at my pussy. I couldn't believe it at first. The bastard had plumped himself down between my thighs, had pulled down my panties, and had put his tongue right into my pussy. I couldn't help responding as he continued to suck me, and when the tip of his tongue began to move against my clitoris, I groaned aloud.
"But a moment later, when he stopped sucking and began to take his clothes off, I got sleepy again. By the time he was completely naked, my eyes were firmly closed. In my half-drunken, sleepy condition, I couldn't make love to anyone.
"Well, it infuriated him. He began to strip me brutally. He pulled off each garment roughly, forcing me to shift my legs, my arms, my body. Then, throwing me back indifferently onto the divan's cushions, he yelled, 'Suck my cock, damn you!' He barked it at me. When I did not register, he yelled at me to suck him. I did not budge, and then he really got angry. He tried to put his cock into my mouth and when I kept my lips and teeth firmly shut, he slapped me hard on the face.
" 'You bitch! I don't put up with no cock-teasers. Get it? No way! You suck me off or I'll break every fucking bone in your body. I didn't go down to that pigsty for nothin', you know! I could have had a dozen other broads. You wanted to dance, okay. I bought you drinks, okay. You came here on your own, damn you! I didn't force you-okay, now you're goddamned well going to deliver!'
"When I closed my mouth tightly, he slapped me very hard again and then tried to force my legs open.
" 'Okay, you dumb cunt, we'll try the number one hole. Now, open up!'
"But, by then, I was angry myself, and fully awake. And I wasn't going to let that bastard just rape me. I fought him as viciously as I could while he started to run his hands over my crotch and pull at my pubic hair. When I yelled at him to stop, he turned me over and rammed his cock between my buttocks, ignoring my screams of pain.
"At the same time, he squeezed my breasts hard with his powerful hands. Before I could move out from under him, he had rammed his cock into my ass-hole. Pushing and grunting, he kept ramming it into me until he came with a loud sigh of satisfaction.
"A few minutes later, I fled the apartment and hailed a cab. As I lay back against the rear seat, my breasts and ass-hole still aching from that brutal attack, I almost wept. Oh, Arthur! I thought. Gentle, civilized Arthur! He hadn't done anything like this, and he had begged my forgiveness. I had slammed the door in his face and had hung up on him only to jump into the arms of a bastard who thought of me as a pig in a pigsty. Sweet Arthur could never have said anything like that to me.
"As the taxi moved through the dark streets, I felt I had wronged Arthur terribly. Without thinking, I ordered the cab driver to go directly to Arthur's address. Maybe he'd throw me out, but I had to see him. At least he had considered me a human being and not a broad-not a pig! And, the last thing I wanted to do was to go home.
"Arthur greeted me at the door, surprised but pleased. He started to speak, but I put my finger to his lips to stop him. Leading him over to the couch, I lay him down and then opened his fly. I removed his cock and stroked it for a moment. Then, opening my mouth wide, I swallowed it. I put as much of it into my mouth as it could hold, and then sucked. I kept sucking as fast as I could until a few minutes later he came in a spurt into my mouth. He cried aloud in his pleasure. I swallowed his come without hesitation. He patted my head affectionately.
" 'What can I say?' he asked, smiling. 'Tell me what can I possibly do to show you how glad I am that you've come back into my life?'
"I sucked on his balls for another moment, letting my tongue move around their round surfaces, feeling his delight as I touched their most sensitive parts. Then I looked up at him and smiled back.
" 'You can get me a drink,' I replied. 'And some food. I'm starved!' "
The prognosis in the case of Inga is quite promising, since she has finally decided to come to terms with herself. Her definitely traumatic marriage had her sexual desires and pleasures thwarted to such a degree that she might have ruined her life permanently had she not recognized that no one is perfect.
After having suffered through so many agonizing years with her husband, Inga expected perfection from her new lover, and when he was found to have feet of clay, in her eyes, Inga rejected him totally. Arthur, not having the least notion of what Inga had been through, had been the unfortunate pawn of fate. Fortunately, the ending to this case history quite possibly will be a happy one.
Since the relating of her history, Inga told us that Arthur had proposed to her and she had accepted. If they are considerate of each other and care more for each other than they do for themselves, they may have a chance to build for themselves a mutually satisfying relationship.
CHAPTER FOUR
Please Pass the Divorce "How did it all begin? Where did it start to go all wrong. Isn't that funny? I can't remember. All I can remember is how it all ended. I guess the cracks in our marriage started out so small that they were almost unnoticeable-until, that is, little by little they widened into such gaping chasms that they were totally irreparable. It's like the wrinkles in your face that begin when you reach your late twenties or early thirties, and you pass them off as too much sun having dried out your skin, or too little sleep has taken its temporary toll. But, bit by bit, those damnable wrinkles deepen until they are apparent to everyone who doesn't suffer from myopia. Being so used to those little crevices, you yourself haven't really noticed them sink deeper and deeper into your precious skin-until, suddenly, there before you in the mirror is a face that is a horror of age lines running the length, breadth and depth of your once-lovely or handsome face.
"How did they get there? Who knows? When did they get there? Little by little, bit by bit. When did they start? Who knows?
"And who cares?
"It's over and that's that. There is no turning back, and finality is all-everything. There is no return. That's almost funny-'no deposit, no return.' Maybe if I had made a deposit there might have been a return. But, to what? To whom? Do I really want to return? Do I really want to go back to the way things used to be? Even if I could?
"Probably not. Things used to be rotten. Always. I know things had been stinking as far back as I can remember. Back when I was a kid, back as a teenager, back as a young coed, back as a young bride. Especially, back as a used wife.
"Someone once said that 'the good old days' never really existed, that they were merely figments of our own imagination to make us go on with this charade called life. Passed on from generation to generation like some sort of ritual or superstition so that everyone would play the game, as it were. Sort of like saying that if a part of life has been good, then maybe-sometime, somehow, somewhere-there will be another such happiness and good time again.
"Childhood! Happiness because of lack of responsibilities. Those are supposed to be the very best years. But others would say the teenage years, when everyone thinks that hell-raising is super-packed with one thrill after another. College days! Those studious days are purported to be those merry times when you're half youth and half adult, and time seems to stand still while you get away with nearly anything just because you're a college kid.
"It's all a bunch of lies! I didn't have a happy childhood-how could I? I had two older sisters, one younger brother and another younger sister. I got all the hand-me-downs that had seen two wearings before they ever got to me. They were almost ragged and transparent when they finally got down to me. So, naturally, my younger sister-the baby of the family, you know-got all new clothes. My clothes were the end of the line.
"And whenever something went wrong-a lamp was broken or something got ripped or spilled-my three sisters used to all point their fingers at me. I was everyone's scapegoat, the dog everyone kicked. Even my own parents seemed to show more affection and attention to the other four. I don't know, perhaps it was my imagination, but I did feel rather unwanted.
"In school, I was my two older sisters' younger sister, so each teacher who had had the first two would compare me with them. And, as usual, I wouldn't fail anyone-I would get worse grades so they could all make fun of me and pick on me. It was that way all through school-all the way through college. I was shy and retiring--afraid of being rejected by everyone-but always the first to make a joke against myself for fear of someone else making one first.
"I guess some thought I had a great sense of humor, always laughing and making fun of my faults. 'Good old Melody, always got something funny to say.' I never did come out of my shell, but I bet no one ever even knew there was one there.
"The good old days, shit! Even my married days were a nightmare. I had met and married Malcolm in three weeks' time. If that wasn't dumb enough, I thought I was really in love and that he was the Romeo to end all Romeos! Talk about ignorance! I topped them all!
"Throughout our three-week courtship, Malcolm was the most suave, debonair bon vivant there ever was. He literally took me dining and dancing every night for two weeks running. At the end of the two weeks, he proposed, and, my head spinning from the whirl he was giving me, I accepted with pleasure!
"After the wedding ceremony, Malcolm and I endured as much of the reception as we could, sneaked upstairs to change, then ran off to our secret honeymoon spot. As Malcolm headed our little sports car off onto the freeway, I pulled a pack of cigarettes from my purse and began to light one. Suddenly, as if we had had a flat tire or something, Malcolm pulled over to the edge of the road onto the shoulder, and came to a screeching halt.
"'Put out that cigarette right this instant From now on, you've quit smoking-understand?' It wasn't a question-it was an 'or else.'
" 'But, Malcolm, baby,' I pleaded, 'just last week you said there wasn't a thing about me that you would change-you said I was perfect!'
" 'Quit the hogwash, Melody! You're married now and you belong to me! Anything I say goes-and you'd better get that through your head before we reach our hotel or we're heading back for an annulment!'
" 'I wasn't trying...' I started to say before a sob caught in my throat and made further speech impossible.
"And that was just for openers!
"Once we had registered at the hotel and all my luggage and my purse had been thoroughly searched to make sure there were no more cigarettes in my possession, Malcolm took possession of his wife-the wife he owned!
" 'Okay' Malcolm said as he removed his T-shirt, 'time for showers.'
"He was giving me orders like a sergeant. This was not the Malcolm I had come to know. I was so tense, bewildered and confused by his abrupt change from the carefree good-time Charley to the disciplinarian that I could not respond to his caresses. I faked my way through what turned out to be the worst lovemaking encounter of my life. Malcolm was absolutely inconsiderate of my feelings or desires.
"He played with my tits for a while, rubbed my pussy and fingered my hole, and when his prick became hard he mounted me and shoved it in. I moved my hips around and feigned passion as he literally abused me. He was rough and crude, never once talking to me or asking me if everything was all right. He never spoke one word of love. It was just 'bam, bam, bam' until he came. My hole was so sore after that I almost cried myself to sleep. His total lack of affection hurt me so deeply I felt like a whore-an unloved, newly-married whore. He screwed me and it was nothing.
"We had a one-week honeymoon, but I never enjoyed a single night's sex. He took me like a Sabina woman-crudely, selfishly, single-mindedly. I felt like a damn receptacle for his prick, rather than his love partner. And when we arrived at our new house he bought, his behavior became even more abominable. No more dancing or nightclubbing; no more restaurants or cocktail hours with jokes. He became a drone: work, fuck, read the paper, and sleep. And not necessarily in that order of importance.
"I soon came to resent and later hate his boorish behavior. I had to have tenderness and genuine affection. Whatever I did I was forced into. I started hanging out at a bar across town where no one knew me, and allowed myself to be picked up. Not just by any guy-I still had my taste and breeding.
"I was first approached by a businessman on his lunch hour who had one martini too many. He really came on strong with fanny patting and waist squeezing as he talked to me at the bar. I could tell he was okay-just a little bit too much to drink. I smiled and encouraged his advances. In fact, I was thrilling to his touch. My pussy got all hot and creamy. He got real aggressive and kissed my neck and I pressed myself to him firmly, enjoying the tingling warmth of the kiss and his tender but masculine touch. My head began to swirl and spin as his lips kissed more of my neck. I twisted and moaned, reeling with ecstasy as he kissed my cheek, then full on the lips. By now I was panting with excitement and felt that if we did not get the hell out of there I was going to throw him onto the floor and rape him!
"I couldn't stand any more stimulation, and pulled away whispering, 'Can't we go someplace?'
"Immediately he clasped my hand and led me from the bar and into his new Eldorado. He whisked me away to a motel just a few minutes from the bar and we entered his room without speaking a word. Once inside he wrapped me in his arms like he knew what I needed, kissing me all over my face and neck, moaning and whispering words of love. I simply melted in his arms, weaving and moaning with delight. He undressed me as he continued to kiss my tingling skin, which made me so weak I just wanted to sink down and let him do whatever he wanted-I was that far gone with passion.
"Once naked, he stood inches from me, admiring my body. 'You're too beautiful to fuck,' he said. 'You're good enough to eat.' And he sank to his knees, wrapped his arms around my full hips and buried his face in my pussy. I almost collapsed with joy.
" 'The bed,' I pleaded, 'the bed.'
"He stood up and took my hand, leading me to the bed. As I lay down, he undressed calmly, emitting a constant stream of love words, telling me how beautiful my legs were, how full and ripe were my tits, how soft and smooth my skin, and how wonderful he felt just looking at me. I was so hungry to hear those words I almost cried. This stranger made me feel so feminine, so wanted and desired I would do anything for him. How he filled all the gaps in my soul.
"Once nude, he got into bed and kissed me on the lips, slipping his tongue in my mouth hungrily. I sucked it in eagerly and hugged him like he was my own husband-a husband I loved.
"I could feel his stiff prick pressing against my thigh and longed to feel it inside me. He looked at me lovingly, misty-eyed, and said, 'I still say you're too beautiful for fucking.' He lost no time in placing his mouth against my wet pussy, licking the outer lips, then sucking on them. I went wild with joy. I could feel his love and sex vibrating into my body-that fantastic chemistry between a man and woman. I wrapped my arms around his legs and pulled them toward my head.
" 'Let me suck on you, too,' I said dreamily. He raised his hips and straddled my head. I grabbed his prick-his big hard prick-and guided it into my mouth. At that moment he must have sucked my clitoris, because it felt like my insides had burst into flame. I opened my mouth wide and sucked his delicious prick in, moaning with satisfaction and desire for this man's body. We sucked with lustful slurps, each taking his turn at moaning at the beautiful feelings; taking turns licking and moaning, building our passion and hunger to higher and higher peaks of joy.
"It felt so good to be handled with tenderness and care, to be appreciated and loved. I sucked on his prick harder, taking it deeper into my throat, giving him as much satisfaction as he was giving me. He kept up a perpetual rhythm of sucking and licking my clitoris, lapping at it from the bottom up, hitting the hidden place in the fold of the skin, sending me into the heavens. He slurped and sucked, moaned and groaned his pleasure, as did I. Oh, God, if that moment lasted forever I needn't do anything else until I died, so marvelous were we together.
"I tried to do everything to his hard prick that I could think of to bring him pleasure. I teased the head with soft licks and sucks, then plunged it deep into my mouth, removing it slowly as I sucked very hard, then I stopped at the head and sucked it steadily like a baby at its mother's nipple. Then down into the depths of my throat I would take it, tasting it hungrily, lovingly, as he was doing with my flesh.
"My body was so limp with ecstasy, and his mouth was doing such wonderful things to me. Then he caught my clitoris between his lips, held it there, and pressed his lips into the swollen organ as his tongue nicked over it rapidly. I moaned intensely-it was driving me wild with pleasure. I sucked his prick fiercely, quickly, bobbing my head up and down fast, fucking him with my mouth as he was fucking me with his.
"Suddenly his prick swelled and began to jerk. His ejaculation triggered my own orgasm, and we came together, sucking and writhing in the most exquisite, heavenly climax. I swallowed his sperm gladly, enthusiastically, gratefully. He brought me an orgasm so utterly fantastic I would have swallowed a quart of his come to show my appreciation."
As the subject already has described it, her home life-even before marriage-was far from happy. She was the victim of what might be commonly termed the middle-sibling syndrome, whereby the middle of three children of the same sex is found to exhibit nearly identical traits as others of the same familial position. While always having an older sister or brother to 'lord it over the middle child," there comes a new baby into the family, usurping the middle child's role of baby. Attention is given to the baby by everyone, and responsibility is given to the oldest. The middle child feels, whether rightly or wrongly, that he is unloved and unwanted.
Feeling rejected and unloved, the middle child (or children if there are several of the same sex between the oldest and the youngest) seeks out the love of anyone in a mistaken belief that he or she is unworthy of love. And any type of love is good enough. Through feelings of deep inadequacy, the middle child will take what is offered, even if it proves not to be what was expected.
This is exactly what happened in the case of Melody. She met and was courted by Malcolm. She misinterpreted his obvious displays of lavish fun-loving life as his normal way of life, and mistook his attention for affection and love. If Melody had been more secure in her own self, she would have looked into Malcolm's background a little more thoroughly and would possibly have insisted on a longer engagement.
Only after she was already married did Melody find out what her husband was really like. She discovered that she had married a very strict authoritarian who demanded perfection and obedience from his wife. Although we have only Melody's word for her former husband's actions, it would appear that she had mistakenly married a man who wanted to possess her rather than love and cherish her.
Melody's honeymoon and subsequent sex relations were fraught with fears and harshness. Not realizing that his wife needed sexual expression and satisfaction, too, Malcolm relieved himself and left Melody to suffer the torment of un-gratified sexual passions.
Masters and Johnson, in their Human Sexual Response, point out that for centuries the female has been at a disadvantage. They state: In our culture, the human female's orgasmic attainment never has achieved the undeniable status afforded the male's ejaculation. While male orgasm (ejaculation) has the reproductive role in support of its perpetual acceptance, a comparable regard for female orgasm is still in limbo. Why has female orgasmic expression not been considered to be a reinforcement of woman's role as sexual partner and reproductive necessity? Neither totem, taboo, nor religious assignment seems to account completely for the force with which female orgasmic experience often is negated as a naturally occurring psycho-physiologic response.
Perhaps Malcolm was never taught that women can achieve orgasmic satisfaction, or perhaps he didn't care. Whatever his reasoning, he not only left his wife unsatisfied, but also fearful of his next onslaught for the fierce lust it brought with it. His intercourse was far from gentle.
Th. H. Van De Velde speaks of such gentleness in his Ideal Marriage: Its Physiology and Technique when he writes: The husband must exercise the greatest gentleness, the most delicate reverence! The old proverb says: from the sublime to the ridiculous is but one step. In the lore of love, this proverb means that supreme beauty and hideous ugliness are separated by a borderline so slight that our minds and senses may transgress it, unawares!
Malcolm, having brought only ugliness to their bed, forced her to seek beauty and love elsewhere. Her husband actually drove her from her home and into the arms of-others. Had Malcolm been gentle with her, Melody might have learned to enjoy his intercourse. But, as he thrust himself upon her every night, Melody shrank not only from Malcolm, but also from intercourse itself.
Melody learned from her first pickup that oral intercourse could be extremely pleasurable. She decided that the only safe penis was one that was nowhere near her vagina.
"Believe it or not, that was the first time a man had blown me. As far as my knowledge of oral sex is concerned, I was quite inexperienced. When I was a teenager, a boy had tried to get me to go down on him while we were parked in his car, but I resisted. Finally he coaxed and browbeat me into putting my lips on his prick, but I quickly pulled away with revulsion. Those were the days of sexual fears and innocence, however.
"Malcolm and I had never engaged in any other form of sex other than 'normal' intercourse. This new experience of sucking a man's prick, and being sucked, was a totally new and thrilling experience. I had chosen my partner well, for he was tender, caring and knowledgeable about this form of sex. I never saw him again, but I sure as hell would have left my husband for him, I can tell you that much. He had that one quality every well-adjusted woman wants in a man: tenderness. And you have to be pretty tender if you engage in any kind of oral sex, or a person can get badly hurt.
"Upon returning home from the motel room, I had a great deal to think about. The first thing that occurred to me was how easy it was to cheat. Here I was, home alone, my husband working, and who's to know or care what I did with the day? It was so simple that I found it difficult to figure out why more women didn't try to correct their sex lives by going out occasionally and finding a stray man. Cheating is simple. All you need is the opportunity, and suddenly you can have the best of two possible worlds.
"I decided that was exactly what I would do-find men who would satisfy my sexual life while Malcolm satisfied my financial security needs. I would let him fuck me all he wanted, I would put up an act of enjoying it, and then go pick up a man when I was in the mood and have myself a ball.
"As I sat there on the sofa, my mind racing through all kinds of plans for my new life, I couldn't forget how utterly fantastic I felt. I was so peaceful and content that all the problems of my frustrating short marriage had suddenly disappeared. There was something about getting blown that completely washed me clean of anxiety. Malcolm had insisted on me using birth control foam as he did not want any kids for a couple years. So I would certainly be safe in my plans to have extramarital sex orally. I mean, it's not very romantic to pick up a man, and just as you are both hot to trot say, 'Excuse me, I have to shoot some foam up my cunt.'
"When you feel like doing it with someone else, you have to do it now or everything gets spoiled. It's not the same as going to bed with your husband. Fucking someone else has to have a special magic, and you can sure as hell kill it with dumb things like vaginal plungers and diaphragms. Besides, when I'm hot to trot I don't like to fool around with that stuff, anyway. I just want to hop in bed and fuck, or suck.
"All that afternoon I laid plans for scheduling my new life. I had to be discreet and clever to pull it off. One wrong move or a moment of unawareness could land me in a terrible pot of hot water. When Malcolm came home that evening, we had dinner. Afterwards, he sat in his usual chair and closed me off in his usual way with the newspaper, leaving me to watch television.
"At ten he announced it was bedtime, and we went to our respective bathrooms to prepare for sleep. Upon returning to the bedroom, I found Malcolm in bed, naked, waiting for me. When Malcolm came to bed naked that was his way of telling me it was 'wifely duty' time. He fucked me in his usual, uncaring Neanderthal way, shot his wad, slapped my ass and fell asleep. End of act.
"The next day I again drove to the little bar across town. Normally, I was a social drinker, and I was beginning to enjoy my new found freedom to have afternoon martinis. I was careful not to allow myself to get drunk, not only because I couldn't afford to be smashed when my husband got home, but also because I did not want alcohol to interfere with my sex relations.
"It did not take long before I was approached by a nice looking man wearing a wedding band. He glanced at my left hand and briefly acknowledged my rings. I dressed in my better clothes so as to attract men of reasonable income and social bearing. If you dress sloppy you attract men from the lower class. It's just human nature.
"He introduced himself as Ted and I told him my name was Mary. One of the important things about cheating like this is to remain as anonymous as possible. In fact, the only identification I carried was my driver's license to minimize the possibilities of my real name being found out.
"Ted offered to buy me a drink and I accepted. We chatted for several minutes about movies and topical subjects. Then he threw out a hook to see if I would bite.
" 'I'm in town on business' he said, 'and I just happen to be staying at the H-Hotel.
Would you like to have a drink over at their bar? They serve better martinis.' He gave a small chuckle, trying to underplay his real intentions of getting me in the sack.
" 'Sounds delightful,' I replied, smiling, looking at his wavy hair and sexy lips. He smiled back triumphantly.
"After, or I should say during, our first drink at the H-Hotel cocktail lounge, Ted began getting chummy. I was enjoying a smooth high, and responded to his touch. In no time at all we were necking, which led to a suggestion to go to his room.
"Once in his room, I undressed before he could even get his sport coat hung up! He looked at my young body with its firm flesh and soft roundness.
" 'You are beautiful,' he said, drinking in my every curve with his sparkling blue eyes.
"Ted undressed and came towards me. I did not give him a chance to touch me as I quickly lowered myself, taking his limp prick in my hands. I shoved the matted hair away from the shaft and kissed the purple head several times. He stood frozen, moaning with ecstasy as his limp prick began to bob and grow in my hands.
It was a marvelous thing to watch, to know that I was causing his erection with my mouth. I placed the hot penis in my mouth, and slowly and softly sucked it in halfway.
"'Oh, my God,' he groaned, 'I've got to sit down. Oh, shit, Mary, what a mouth you have. Damn, can you give a blow job!'
"I released his now stiff prick, and we both got into bed. I kissed him passionately on the mouth, sticking my tongue inside. He hugged me and squeezed my ass.
" 'I'm going to make love to your beautiful prick,' I whispered into his ear. 'I'm going to fuck your prick with my sweet mouth.'
"I then turned and swooped down upon his fantastically hard prick, swallowing it into my hungry mouth. I realized then how much I really loved to suck cock. I sucked his hard flesh into my mouth with such yearning and lust that my body nearly swooned. The marvelous texture of his penis felt like silk on my tongue; the round sac of his balls cupped in my hand was like holding the world. I was so enthralled with his entire male organ that I wanted to cry out with joy at being able to possess such wonderful, fleshy delights. My cunt literally oozed my sex cream as I relished every inch of Ted's prick, taking it full into my mouth, savoring the soft, yet hard organ against my palate and tongue, letting it caress my cheeks as it slid out.
"His hands were fondling my ass, petting each cheek delicately, squeezing them, molding them, making them his. I got hotter and hotter as his hands wandered over my ass, feeling its firm skin and sponginess. My ass was aglow from his touch, swaying in rhythm to my sucking of his massive prick which filled my mouth so gloriousiy.
"Occasionally, I held only the head of his prick in my mouth, licking and sucking it lightly. I could feel the fleshy prong swell pulsingly against my lips, increasing my passion. Everything about his prick-any prick-excited me, made me want more and more of it. It was a thing to love and make love to, to worship and adore. I was crazed by its stiffness and warmth which caused all kinds of stirrings in my gut. I was absolutely engrossed in coddling this masterful piece of flesh in my wet mouth. A prick is something I would like to go to sleep with each night, sucking on it as I drifted off, and wake up with it in the morning.
"Ted grasped me by the thighs and pulled my hips back toward his head. I raised one knee and straddled his head as he leaned up to place his mouth against my sopping pussy lips. I lowered my hips onto his face gently, just enough so that he would not have to strain to reach my slit. He sucked my flesh into his mouth, causing me to moan in ecstasy. He did not attack my clitoris immediately, but began to tease my pussy with his mouth. I was anxious for him to suck on my joy button, but at the same time I wanted to be played with and tormented for a while before being shaken with the ultimate in pleasure.
"He licked and sucked my pussy lips with the same ardor as I was doing with his prick in my mouth-a mutual loving and fucking with wet, hot tongues and lips. His tongue lapped the full length of my slit, nibbling as he went along the smooth, red inner lips, sucking and moaning his passion. He was giving me the same intimate acceptance by taking my sex into his mouth as I was giving him by taking his flesh into my own mouth. There simply is nothing more humanly intimate than the grand and ultimate gesture of physical love with the mouth. Fucking does not give that feeling of extraordinary personal oneness as oral love.
"He gripped my ass firmly, and pressed my wet flesh full onto his face, pushing into my wet flesh as though trying to bury himself in my womb. He was taking me in completeness, desiring my body to fulfill his lust just as I craved his body. Ted swirled his now wet face all around in my wet lips, sucking and licking, moaning and groaning his passion for me as my cream coated his face all over.
"His tongue jutted into the opening of my cunt as I swallowed his gigantic prick deep into my throat. He poked his tongue in and out, sucking as he did so, sending wave after wave of delicious warmth into my clitoris and deep into my lower abdomen. Although my entire body was excited and seemed to beam with sex glow, Ted's oral caresses were stimulating intense stirrings in one small location there between my legs.
"He held my hips steady for a moment as I felt his tongue glide up to the top of my slit and then down to my ultra sensitive clitoris. There his mouth stopped as he gently and rhythmically rubbed that sensitive spot with the full length and breadth of his marvelous tongue. I swooned in ecstasy, so overpowering was the stimulation. It made me pull on his prick with greater suction, wanting to get more of his flesh into my mouth at a more rapid pace. My head was flying up and down as his beautiful prick slid in and out of my loving mouth.
"He now held his tongue and lips right on my clitoris, which caused such a burning feeling all throughout my body that I almost lost consciousness from its stimulation. Oh, man, how he had me worked up. I was wild with lustful passion, squeezing his balls and sucking on his prick unmercifully. He in turn began to suck and nibble on my clitoris more aggressively, driving me wild with desire.
"I could feel his balls in my cupped hand begin to rise, the sac tighten, signaling his oncoming orgasm. I pressed his balls against the bottom of his prick to give him greater stimulation. At the same time, Ted sucked my clitoris, steadily, licking it hard as he held it lightly between his teeth.
"It felt as though an electric rod had been touched there and vibrated every nerve and muscle in my body. I exploded into an orgasm of unbelievable intensity. Then, before it subsided, I rose even higher for a second one. I thought I would certainly be driven mad with such agonizing joy ripping from one end of my body to the other. I thrashed and jerked as Ted's prick was held firmly in my mouth gushing sperm like a geyser. He held me with a vise-like grip around my shapely legs, unceasingly biting into my clitoris as though purposely trying to drive me insane with pleasure.
"I thought my climaxing would never end. It went on and on like a bad dream. That's a strange analogy, but I came so completely it was almost nightmarish-almost unbearable.
"Exhausted, I fell sideways onto the bed, gasping for air. I could hear Ted groaning and panting also. My pussy felt sore and abused, while at the same time it felt so beautifully loved and satisfied. I imagine I must have given his prick a good going over too! I wouldn't be surprised if he was sore for a week after.
"These were only two of many fine lovers I had affairs with. As time went on-only months-the more I realized that Malcolm and I had nothing more to keep us together. I had discovered a form of sex which blew my mind, and his fucking me almost every night was getting to be very aggravating. Not only because I didn't appreciate screwing, but also because I had become totally disenchanted with Malcolm as well as with our life together as man and wife.
"He never complained about anything out of the ordinary. It was as though he had not noticed the deteriorating condition of our marriage. For me, there simply was nothing there to hold me. We had no children to complicate our lives, so a break could be relatively simple. At least, I hoped so.
"So, one night, about six months after our wedding day, I served Malcolm his favorite dinner-spaghetti-and when his stomach had settled from reading the paper, I told him I wanted to talk to him about something very important. I tried to broach the subject of divorce as delieatery as possible-as if it is possible to broach that subject delicately at all!
"Malcolm was stunned at first, then outraged. He accused me of not appreciating his hard work and sacrifices so that I could have a fine home. He ranted and raved about what he had provided me with, never once mentioning the one element he could not provide and which was definitely missing-love. He thought, of only material possessions, of which I was supposed to be one, and he was appalled that I would want to leave the comfort of our home.
"The more he thought about it, the more angry he became until he finally headed for the liquor cabinet and poured himself a stiff one. I followed suit, and after three hours of screaming and arguing and pleading, Malcolm finally agreed-especially after I told him that I didn't want a thing from him, only one dollar a year alimony and my freedom.
"His pride was hurt, but his pocketbook was left intact. And I've been "having a ball ever since. I doubt that I'll rush into another marriage terribly soon. The guy I marry next-if ever-will have to be tender, gentle, understanding and a sucking man. No more nightly rapes for me!
"In the meantime, I'm very happy living as I am. Some people may say, Tuck the world!' I say, 'Suck the world!' It feels better."
Melody's prognosis is quite indefinite since her first marriage has obviously warped her sense of sexual values. If she finds the man who fits her ideal of what a husband should be, then she probably will live a normal life. If she does not meet such a man-a man who is free to marry her-she may be condemned to a lifelong search for her ideal oral sex partner.
CHAPTER FIVE
The Best in the West "Maybe it isn't the greatest goal in life to become the very best cocksucker in the entire country (or maybe in the world), but at least I'm the best in the West. I know that for a fact, because guys who live here say so, and guys who come here from back East say so, too. They say to me, 'Clarisina, baby, you are by far the best cock-sucker in the whole fuckin' West!' That's what they say, all right.
"I didn't used to be a pro and all that. Not years ago, I didn't. I was married and had a little kid. I bet that little kid of mine is as big-or bigger, if possible-as my ex-husband. That Phil-he was a real nice guy, only he didn't like the way I used to act all the time. I told him that I didn't come from the same kind of background he did, and that I just wasn't good enough for him. But he just insisted we get married.
"Well, it's his fault the marriage didn't work out right. He was the one who had kept on insisting that I marry him even if he was so much better than me. So, it was really all his fault that we busted up-right? I wanted to marry him, of course, just as much as he wanted to marry me, but I, at least, kept my head enough to knew that it just wouldn't work out. Phil was sure that everything could be worked out.
"Well, he hadn't reckoned on his mother's violent reaction towards me and her boycotting of our little wedding ceremony. He hadn't planned on his sister's vile outburst at our wedding reception. He hadn't expected his entire family to turn their backs on me as if I were a leper like in the Bible or some whore off Market Street.
"Poor Phil had been so proud of me that day we got married. He was so confident that his mother would forgive him and learn to love me after she once knew what a 'charming and lovely person I am.' But what he never counted on was the fact that his dear old mother might never want to lay eyes on me. If he couldn't get the two of us together, then there was little chance of her getting to know of my inherent charm and loveliness.
"Phil had beamed so as I walked down the aisle with my foster father at my elbow. He had known I was an orphan-I had never withheld anything from Phil, even my days at the orphanage. Phil knew all about the long list of foster homes I had been placed in, and how nobody had ever wanted to adopt me. He was the one who suggested that I ask my last foster father to be my 'father' for my wedding day and give the bride away.
"Poor Phil had gotten so choked up during the wedding ceremony that he could barely get the words out of his mouth-and there had been tears in his eyes. I had to choke back some tears of happiness myself. Our marriage was making us so happy at that moment. There was nothing but the two of us and God. That was it. But there was Phil's sister to be reckoned with Sylvia.
"He had practically fainted dead away at the reception when his sister got so drunk that she couldn't hold back her true feelings any longer. She had been dancing with one of the ushers, when all of a sudden, out of the clear blue sky, she shouts for the band to stop playing-she has an announcement to make.
"Poor Phil stood there with his mouth hanging wide open as Sylvia shouted for everyone to hear. 'Listen, everybody ... I have an announcement to make. A most serious announcement about the lovely bride. I want all of you to know something about our little Clarisina that maybe my dearest brother Phillip has neglected to tell you. Perhaps you don't know it because Phillip wanted to spare you, or himself, the embarrassment of such knowledge.'
" 'Sylvia!' Phil shouted, but it was to no avail.
"Smiling and wrinkling her nose at him, my husband's sister continued with her momentous announcement. 'I would like to announce to all of Phillip's friends and relations that he has taken unto himself a bride who is illegitimate!'
" 'Sylvia, no!' Phil croaked out as though frozen to his spot.
" 'That's right, folks,' my evil sister-in-law continued as if never interrupted, 'Clarisina W-, my brother's beloved bride, is a bastardess! How about that, folks? Let's toast the little bastard-ess....'
"With upheld glass, Sylvia alone toasted me with all the venom she could muster, and then flung the contents of her champagne glass in my face, yelling: Tell us, Mrs. Bastardess, was your mother an unwed schoolgirl or a professional prostitute-or do you know?'
"Poor Phil just stood there, paralyzed while hot tears mingled with the drops of champagne flowing down my cheeks to permanently stain my gorgeous white wedding gown. Sylvia had accomplished her task; she had vindicated herself and her mother for all times to come. And she had so humiliated my dear husband that things could never be the same between us again.
"Whenever Phil looked at me, he would always see the word bastardess written across my forehead. Sylvia had finally brought home to him what I had been trying to tell him for so long before the wedding-that he was above me, and much too good for me!
"Phil's friends tried to be nice to me and include me in their frivolities, but they had all been at that wedding reception and had all heard Sylvia's unforgettable words, and I could tell by their faces that they were either being sickeningly patronizing or overplaying their role with me. I was embarrassed for them and for Phil. It made it hard all the way around.
"When the baby was born, I thought that maybe things would be different, but even Phil's mother shunned the child, stating to someone who she was sure would repeat it to Phil, that 'that child has bad blood running through its veins and is no more a W-than is his mother!'
"Maybe Phil only married me for sex and fucking, but he had loved me, too. I know he did. And the child.
"But our wedding night was both beautiful and horrendous. That's when the second phase of our problems began. We flew to Hawaii and stayed at the most fantastic hotel I had ever been in. After dinner and champagne, we went to our room and polished off another bottle. I had changed into a shocking pink transparent nightgown, which blew Phil's mind.
"He sat there staring at my boobs pushing through the sheer material and slowly undid his pants. His prick jutted out from his shorts, and he took it out and began to play with it as he stared at my full, large tits. I came over to him, leaned over so my big breasts hung in his face, taunting him with their size and perfect shape. He reached up with both hands and began to pet them and squeeze them as I pulled and pressed his cock.
"After a few moments of this I sat next to him, still playing with his swollen prick as he continued to manipulate my voluptuous tits. His prick was pulsing and throbbing as he hungrily squeezed and pulled at my large tits. I could feel my cunt oozing juice. I wanted his prick in me more than anything else in the world. His hands brushed over my stiff, swollen, deep red nipples and shocks of ecstasy shot down to my clit. Hell, was I ever getting hot. I began to pull and squeeze his hot prick with abandon.
"Phil slipped his hand into my nightie, parting the front which was held only by one snap, and touched my hard breasts. He was panting and staring glassy-eyed with fascination at the two large breasts which were now all his-his property to do with as he pleased. He rubbed his hand over the top part of my tits, then progressed further down to their fullest part, squeezing as he went along; feeling, kneading my delicate flesh, exciting both of us.
" 'You've got the best tits in the world,' he said, never taking his eyes off of my chest. 'The biggest, fattest, most delicious tits in the world,' he repeated over and over.
"He was making me more passionate just talking about my big tits. That always got me hotter than a pistol, when a guy would talk sexy like that. Phil kept on talking about how much he loved my big tits, how smooth they were, how hard and how sexy they were. My cunt juice was flowing like mad. My clit was thumping away, aching to be played with. I couldn't hold my thighs still-they kept moving up and down, rubbing together, aching for satisfaction between them, dying for his hands to rub there.
"Phil took one of my nipples between his thumb and forefinger and began to twirl it back and forth. Shit, I nearly went through the couch! He was sending bolts of sex right down to my little ole clit, and it was just throbbing with sex craving. I pulled my nightie all the way open so that both my large tits stood out free and proud. Phil immediately bent over and took the nipple and areola of the closest tit into his mouth and sucked, moaning with joy as I soon did.
" 'Ohhh,' I moaned, 'suck it, honey! Oh, yes ... suck my tit! That's my good baby ... oh, baby, are you driving me wild! Oh, shit, does that feel good! Oh, suck me!'
"By now I was jumping all over the place. I couldn't keep myself still. My nipples are so goddamn sensitive anyway, and he was making me jump around like my hips didn't know where to move next. Finally, he picked me up and carried me to bed, all the while holding my nipple in his mouth sucking like mad. He was so engrossed with my tits that I had to remind him to take off his clothes. He just wasn't about to stop playing with my tits. But I wanted to be fucked right away, and so I whispered that he should get undressed and climb on top of me.
"All the while he took off his clothes, his eyes never left my breasts. He kept telling me what big tits I had and how good they were to suck on and hold. I was squirming and twisting, awaiting his hands on me once more.
"Phil came and lay beside me, slipping one hand under my ass, bringing me up against his warm body. His other hand was cupping my firm tit. He squeezed my plump ass and voluptuous tit at the same time, licking and nibbling on the other swollen nipple. My hips began to wiggle as his lovemaking got to me. I could barely keep myself from nipping right off the bed. After all these years, I can still remember that wonderful and embarrassing wedding night. It's blazed into my mind like it happened just yesterday.
"I wanted everything to be just perfect, and so far, there were no complaints. I was writhing in sexual ecstasy and Phil was moaning deeply and sucking harder and faster on my tit. I yanked hard on his prick, and he yelped and bit down hard on my nipple.
" 'Fuck me, for God's sake!' I nearly screamed at my new husband.
"Another moan burst from him, then one nearer a groan-loud and wanting. He was hungry for my body, and there it was. But he couldn't get enough of it all at once. He wanted everything at once. He wanted to suck on my tits and fondle my ass and fuck the living shit out of me, but he was so carried away that he just couldn't make it.
"Again I yelled, 'Fuck me, dammit!'
"That time he responded and moistened his huge erection with saliva from his almost dry mouth. He really was wasting time because I was so juicy and moist down there that I could have floated a battleship in it.
"He aimed, tentatively touched my pussy hole with the tip of the head of his prick, and then shoved it in right up to the hilt! I yelled as he groaned. We both began to move. Our hips were slamming against each other's in a slow rhythm at first, then faster and faster.
"And the whole time, he hadn't taken his mouth off my tantalizing tit. He was sucking away at it like a baby-and fucking away at my hole like the greatest man ever! I mean, what a fuck he was! He knew what he was doing and he knew how to do it. I was in heaven and I knew it! I wanted everything to be just perfect.
"Then things began to happen inside me. It was Christmas and New Year's Eve and Easter and the Fourth of July all wrapped up in one gigantic orgasm of monstrous proportions. I exploded with a violence that I had never experienced before-I wasn't a virgin when we got married and Phil knew it. He was also beginning his explosion now.
"One sharp gush of sperm after another assailed my cervix, pounding and pounding at it in all its heat. It gave me even more of a thrill. I began to come again. This was going to be one of those multiple orgasms where I just come and come and come for all I'm worth.
"Phil kept pumping as long as he could, but his prick was fast deflating. As his erection slipped into the past, my writhing pussy hole began to settle down. It wasn't till his precious prick was completely out of me that I actually stopped jerking and twitching.
"We lay there, still nearly attached by hole and prick, and kissed each other with such tenderness that I got all choked up. Love was pouring from one body to the other and back again. It was the most beautiful moment of my life! We could both feel that love flowing through us. We talked about it later, and both of us agreed that we had felt a peculiar sensation of love flowing from body to body and back again.
"After several magical minutes, Phil rolled off me and took me in his arms. Holding me close, he whispered his love for me again. I could barely reply, I was so choked up. It was like a fairy tale come true. A Hawaiian honeymoon and our first night as man and wife had been fantastic-so far.
"But there was more to come, and that's where the rub came into the picture.
"Phil wanted another fucking. But he had had such a good one the first time around that he was too pooped to perk. He was as limp as a wet noodle, but he had the inclination. He just had to have one more fuck before we went to sleep for the night.
" 'Honey, there's no way you're gonna get that monster back up to his original size againat least, not tonight,' I said dreamily.
" 'Oh, yes, there is!' he retorted. 'Suck me back into shape, baby! Suck me!'
"I was absolutely appalled. He actually wanted me to suck him? Me? His wife? In the circles I had traveled in, only prostitutes went down on guys-and here, my very own husband of just a few hours wanted me to act like a common whore. I couldn't believe it!
"When I started to cry and turn away from him, Phil wanted to know what my problem was-what he had said or done. I explained what the problem was and he only laughed. He was completely out of the mood by that time, but he was very amused by my reaction to his request. It seems that in the upper classes, husband and wife often go down on each other either as fore-play or as the whole bit.
"After he had explained everything, I felt better about it, but still wouldn't go down on him. I will never forget that horrible feeling I had when he asked me to do it-that degrading sensation of this whole thing being a dream-turned-nightmare. For just a few seconds, I felt every inch the whore he made me feel."
Clarisina Wis a thirty-eight-year-old prostitute, one of San Francisco's highest paid call girls. The history she is relating happened nearly twenty years ago when she was just a young girl.
Omitted from her case history was Clarisina's total background. As her sister-in-law had stated at the wedding reception, Clarisina was a fatherless child. Her birth was kept a secret from her for several years until one foster father, while in the process of raping her, told her of her origins. It seems that she was the daughter of a prostitute who decided to have the baby rather than take another chance on an abortion, having already had so many. As soon as Clarisina was born, she was immediately put up for adoption, but was not taken. There happened to be a baby boom at that time, and there were more babies available for adoption than there were adopting parents.
Clarisina was jostled from one foster family to another until she was old enough to go out on her own. It was while she was working as a cocktail waitress that she met Phillip. He was greatly attracted to her and decided to get to know her better. She was intelligent as well as gorgeous, and Phillip fell in love with her.
Being as intelligent as she was, Clarisina immediately realized the danger involved in falling in love with a man of Phillip's station in life. His father had been one of the great shippers, and the Westate on Belvedere was very well known to all. The young girl knew she was in over her head socially, but she was so attracted to Phillip that she ignored her inner warnings. She admitted later that if she had listened to her intuition she might presently be the wife of some nice guy and the mother of several kids going to high school and possibly even college.
To better understand Clarisina's chosen profession after having lived such a rich life for well over a year, we look to Vern L. and Bonnie L. Bullough who thoroughly researched the subject of prostitution and published their findings under the title of The History of Prostitution.
In this comprehensive text, the Bulloughs state:
Part of the answer why women become prostitutes seems to lie in the fact that the prostitute is not only being paid for her sexual services but for her loss of social standing. In effect the woman who turns to prostitution becomes an outcast, condemned by the moral systems of Western civilization. If this is the case then the woman who consciously or unconsciously seeks such a life is a personality problem, and prostitution is a symptom of other disturbances.
The Bulloughs might well have been writing about the subject of this case history in describing one of the reasons for a woman going into prostitution. Clarisina, having been banished from her elegant home and stately position, made her way to San Francisco and began the long, arduous climb toward the pinnacle of prostitution-the expensive call girl. In every sense of the word, Clarisina was making men pay for her loss of social standing, for her loss was much greater than most. Clarisina had tumbled from the heights, rolled through the depths, and had climbed up the ladder of prostitutional success.
The Bulloughs discovered that Freud had made the first real breakthrough on neuroses and prostitution, but that Havelock Ellis went even further. They point out: Ellis concluded that economic motivations were insufficient to explain prostitution.... Ellis was also one of the first to cast doubt on the popular belief that the prostitute was an extremely sensual woman.
Karl Abraham carried Ellis' ideas about the lack of sexuality in the prostitute further by arguing that it was only when a woman could not enjoy the sex act with one partner that she felt compelled to change partners, in other words to become a female Don Juan. The prostitute avenged herself on every man by demonstrating that the sex act which was so important to him, meant very little to her; she was thus unconsciously or perhaps consciously humiliating all men by having intercourse with any and all customers.
Although Clarisina is a top-notch call girl, she is also a "specialist." She only performs fellatio on her limited list of clients. She prefers this to all other forms of sex, achieving her own orgasm while fellating her customer. Her tutor and mentor in the art of fellatio was her former husband who insisted on having her perform it on him several times each week of their marriage. She learned quickly, and became quite adept at the art she had previously held in contempt as whorish. Her attitude was incorrect, as illustrated by Arthur H. Hirsch in his definitive text, Sexual misbehavior of the Upper Cultured. Hirsch finds: On the upper culture levels mouth genital contacts are found in numbers that seem to the unsophisticated to be quite surprising. Not a few enlightened persons prefer to give expression to their passion in this way. When ardor rises to high altitudes, they claim that the incentive is hard to disregard. To them it seems natural and desirable.
Having been tutored in the ways of fellatio, Clarisina made her way up the ladder of success by perfecting her art until she was acclaimed the best in her field. At the same time, she is getting back, subconsciously or consciously, at the husband who forced her-she believes-into her present position.
"Well, we hadn't been married but a year, and little Artemis was barely three months old when Phil asked me for a divorce and custody of our child. His mother and sister had finally gotten to him. Through friends and other relatives, those two women finally broke through and made Phil see the error of his ways. Although Phil's mother had at first turned her nose up at her first grandson, she suddenly decided that an heir was an heir, no matter who the mother is. So, Artemis Gregory W-was to remain, and the unworthy little bastardess barmaid was out on her ear.
"Oh, I got a tidy little sum for settling for the situation without a fuss. If I had counter-sued, there would have been such a scandal that even the W-s would have backed off. So, the financial settlement was considerable. Not nearly enough to give up one's own flesh and blood, but enough for a normal gal to live on in luxury for the rest of her natural life.
"But my 'business venture' took nearly all of it. You see, I decided to set myself up as a call girl. And to do that you have to find an apartment in the best part of town at extreme monthly prices, furnish it out to the hilt, dress to the teeth so that you are presentable anywhere in any company, no matter how high up the social ladder.
"After all those 'minor' investments, you have to get yourself a list of clients. That is the most difficult and most expensive item to come by. I finally found a call gal who was getting married to one of her Johns and who was willing to sell me her little book of clients for almost every cent I had. It was a bargain. I could recoup my money in no time flat. After that it would be all smooth sailing and gravy. I would have it made! Even if my overhead is high-what with constant changes of linens and the most expensive wet bar in town and the highest priced perfumes-I still came out way ahead, if only psychologically. But, really, I do come out ahead on my financial end, and it's all tax free! Bet you'd like that!
"After I got the gal's book, I crossed off all those who were straight or S-M and concentrated on the head jobs. I only crossed off the other Johns in pencil since I might want to sell the little book myself someday.
"I called every John on the list who went for head jobs and told them about myself, and lined up several appointments right off the bat. The first one was a lawyer from the financial district whose wife wouldn't blow him-and who usually had a convenient headache when he suggested the regular way. His name was Barnaby. I told him to call me Darling. I even had him going, believing that my old lady had actually named me that. That way, no one knew my name.
"Barnaby arrived at my apartment at nine in the evening wearing a brown conservative suit. He was about thirty-five, but the lines around his mouth showed how hardened his character was.
He looked like he could be a real son of a bitch. I guess you have to be to be a lawyer.
"My little book told me all the information about the clients, so as soon as Barnaby walked in I had a glass of scotch and soda waiting for him-his favorite booze. His eyebrows shot up in surprise.
" 'My goodness,' he said, half joking, 'you certainly must have gotten the rundown on me.'
"I passed on that one and gave him a wink. He walked to the penthouse bay window, and calmly looked out at the San Francisco lights. I walked up behind him and kissed him on the back of the neck. As he turned around, I kissed him on the front of his neck, then on his cheek. I usually try to get my Johns into the sack as quickly as possible so as to have a few minutes left for myself at the end of the hour. I try to get them serviced in forty-five minutes instead of sixty.
"Barnaby polished off his scotch then reached around and unzipped my minidress. He pulled it off to reveal expensive undies. I pressed my hand against his crotch to make his prick swell quickly. His hands found my ass and squeezed the cheeks firmly as I continued to press and squeeze his prick.
"I began undoing his tie, then his shirt. By this time, he was breathing heavy, drawing my ass and hips against him hard. He wanted to feel my body in the raw, but I know exactly when to let a man see and feel me completely nude.
" 'Come' I said teasingly, 'you must see my lovely bed. I'm sure you have seen nothing like it.'
"I led him into one of the two bedrooms. As he gazed at all the tapestries, colored lights and mirrors, he smiled.
" 'Very nice' he commented. 'Very nice, indeed. You have excellent taste, my dear. Excellent. With these trappings I may be able to give you a couple good clients. Personal friends. Lawyers. If you give them the usual good service they may stick with you. And now, you sexy bitch, let's see what nice, white skin covers your sweet ass.'
"I turned my back to him and slowly pulled my panties down while moving my hips around with a swiveling motion. As I stepped out of my panties, I felt his hands on my cheeks.
" 'You do have a nice ass' he whispered. 'Better than the other girl. Of course, she was a few years older than you, but very well preserved. I wonder if your mouth is as good. Boy, you sure have a sweet ass.'
"I turned toward him and completed taking off his clothes. His semi-hard on bobbed as I pulled his shorts down over it. I kissed the head of his prick, then moved up to his nipples and on up to a luscious French kiss. His hands went to my ass again and played with the cheeks as he sucked in my tongue, moaning softly as I felt his prick growing against my white soft body.
"I nudged him in the direction of the bed. It's a giant bed with special silk sheets. Indirect lighting spilled from the ceiling giving a soft cast to the entire room-a restful yet exotic atmosphere.
"Barnaby lay on the bed, and I lay on top of him. I began to kiss his shoulders, then inched my way down to his little pink nipples, placing soft kisses on one, then the other. He moaned with delight as my soft, wet lips made love to parts of his body his wife probably didn't even know existed.
"As I moved slowly downward, I paused awhile to place my tongue into his navel, swirling it for several moments as my fingers rubbed the swollen nipples on his hairy chest. Slowly my mouth moved down, down, down to his pubic hair. I pressed my teeth into the flesh lightly and nipped all across the top above his prick. I could feel his hot prick swelling and moving against my chin. He was moaning short cries of passion as I bit lightly into his flesh, which seemed to send warm sparks of sexual passion into his prick.
"My mouth moved into the crack between his balls and thigh. I kissed the inside of his thigh, the side of his prick where it joined the body, and then cupped his balls, kissing them individually as I shifted them gently in my fingers. I grasped his hard prick in one hand and held the sac of testicles in the other. Ever so carefully, I slowly moved my open mouth to his scrotum and guided one of his testicles into my hot mouth. Barnaby groaned with pleasure.
"My mouth closed slightly around his testicle, giving it the warmth and wetness of my mouth. I groaned as if having great thrills in playing with his genitals. I allowed the testicle to fall from my mouth and placed the other inside. My tongue moved across the hard oval as I sucked very lightly while squeezing his stiff prick. I kept that testicle in my mouth for several minutes, allowing it to fall into the back part of my mouth as my lips touched the underside of his prick.
"By now, Barnaby was quite passionate and out of his everloving mind from the stimulation he was receiving from my lips. He moaned his ecstasy constantly. I had to be careful not to give him a premature ejaculation.
"I let the testicle fall from my mouth, but continued to lick and suck on the scrotum as I held his prick up and taut. Gradually, I worked my mouth to the underside of his throbbing prick and kissed it all along its length to the tip. I returned to the base of the hard, spongy flesh and again retraced my path along the underside-the sensitive side-until reaching the very tip.
"Then, with sudden enthusiasm, I sucked all around the sides, the top, but never touching the head. His prick was bobbing and throbbing like he was shooting his load. When I work on a prick, it just gets stiffer and stiffer.
"I extended my tongue and licked along the sides of his prick as Barnaby moaned louder.
" 'Oh shit, baby,' he said, in an almost pitiful voice. 'My God! Oh, baby, are you doing things to me! Oh ... my prick feels like a burning hot poker. Ohhhhhhhh ... can you suck cock ... oh, my God, can you ever suck cock!'
"As he finished moaning out his words, I swallowed the head of his massive prick up to the circumcision line. I sucked lightly, rubbing my tongue on the underside near the head. I licked and sucked his sensitive penis head as Barnaby writhed with passion. Then, slowly, I lowered my mouth, taking in his entire prick into my hot, wet mouth. He moaned over and over again.
"'Ohhh,' he whimpered. 'Ohhh, my God. What a mouth ... oh, shit ... do you have a mouth. Yes, fuck me with your mouth ... oh, that's good ... oh, yes ... are you good ... that's right, all the way, all the way. Take it all the way in. Damn, you sure can suck.'
"While I slowly took his huge prick into my mouth completely, one hand played with his balls as the other rubbed smoothly over his tummy just above his prick. Then I would encircle the area around his prick, squeezing the flesh on the pubic bone rhythmically. My mouth was thick with saliva, and it glided like silk up and down his shaft, deep into my throat. There was no rushing or frantic movements like you do when you're fucking. This was easy and graceful-a slow steady rhythm of caressing hands and sucking mouth.
"I took my time, working my mouth and tongue up and down the smooth skin of his massive sex tool, pausing for an extra beat when I reached the head, giving it added attention to bring his passion just one more notch closer to the final explosion which would rack his body with joyous ecstasy, leaving him limp, exhausted and feeling whole again.
"As I pushed downward, taking in his entire penis into my mouth, his hips made a subtle gesture toward my mouth, indicating the need for a more rapid pace. With ease and gentleness I began to move my head up and down with a slightly increased tempo. The idea was to make it last as long as possible while perpetuating the sex stimulation, building him higher and higher without making him come fast. My job is to drag it out, so by the time he does come he feels like he has emptied his entire system!
"I sucked with a little more pressure and moved my kneading fingers slightly faster as his hips now began to bob up and down in little bouncing movements. He was on his way to heaven.
"I pressed my hands firmly onto his balls and tummy, keeping them rotating in a constant massaging pattern. My mouth sucked a bit harder on his stiff penis as my head bobbed up and down more rapidly. His balls drew up toward his body and his hips raised off the bed a few inches. As I kept up my steady rhythm of massaging his balls and the area around his prick, I rammed my head extra hard which plunged his meat a little deeper into my throat. He wailed his orgasm, screaming like a man being tortured the torture of the damned. I held my head motionless with his throbbing, spurting prick buried deep in my throat.
"That was my very first professional blow job. I could never even estimate how many I've given since dear Barnaby. I remember his name, you see, because he was my first.
"Actually, when you come right down to it, I can't complain about my life. I may be a prostitute, but so what? My mother wasn't much better-in fact, I bet I'm better than she ever was. I take pride in my work, and am always looking for ways to improve my abilities and skills. I even take an extension correspondence course or two just to keep my mind active.
"If that's a look of pity on your puss, you can wipe it off right now! I live high, associate with the best people, and have a ball all the time. And I make one helluva living, too. What more could a girl want? So what if I don't get to see my son and let him know I exist-who cares?"
Clarisina, having recognized the mistake she and Phil were about to make, went ahead and took her chances. The results were much as she had predicted they would be. But she did not regret her marriage to her husband, no matter how short it was.
After twenty years in her profession, there can be no prognosis; Clarisina took care of that herself.
CONCLUSION
Five women, influenced by five men, have been turned away from normal coitus and have sought sexual relief through oral intercourse. It might be argued that Yvonne had been affected by three or more males, not merely one. But the man who actually molded Yvonne's sexual life style was her own father-the one man who, by example, had influenced her attitude toward men in general.
Although nothing is absolute, it would appear that only one male directed the sexual behavior of each of the women in the five case histories presented herein. Helaine, in Chapter One, was deeply influenced by her sexually ignorant husband Robert; Yvonne, of Chapter Two, as already mentioned, was affected by her father's inadequacies; Inga, the small-town girl in Chapter Three, was degraded and confused by her cruel and ambiguous husband Ralph; Melody became the innocent victim of an almost Jekyll-and Hyde lover-husband in Chapter Four; and Clarisina, in the final chapter, had warned her husband long before they were married of impending disaster.
The running theme seems to be sexual ignorance, either on the part of the wife or the husband, or both. If both partners in a marriage are trained, in advance, as to what to expect from the other, then there should be very little problem. This pertains not only to the nuptial bed, but also to everyday living. Consideration for each other is of prime importance in any marriage.
Any husband who takes care of his own sexual needs and desires without giving thought to his wife's basic drives, is more than-likely in for marital trouble. The same is true for women who have been taught that having sex with their husband is their "wifely duty" and must be "suffered" whenever he wishes. She has probably also been taught that she is not supposed to partake of or in any way enjoy this sexual activity.
Most up-to-date handbooks on sex and marriage will go into great detail on the importance of foreplay while making love. Remarkably enough, as far back as 1928, Th. H. Van De Velde, in Ideal Marriage: Its Physiology and Technique, suggested: The genital kiss is particularly calculated to overcome frigidity and fear in hitherto inexperienced women who have had no erotic practice, and are as yet hardly capable of specific sexual desire.
For the active partner, the pleasures of the genital kiss are wholly psychic. They centre round the joy of giving joy to and rousing desire in the beloved, and the imaginative realisation of this pleasure and desire. The feelings of the passive partner, on the other hand, however strong their emotional undertones, are predominantly peripheral, i.e., physical.
It is quite surprising that a scientist so near the beginning of the twentieth century should be so wise in the ways of lovemaking, albeit a little naive regarding the wife's lack of experience being the reason for the "kiss." It is not so surprising that another researcher should hold quite opposing views on the subject of cunnilingus.
Although August Forel's second edition of The Sexual Question came out just six years before Van De Velde's text, Forel's position on cunnilingus remained unchanged: Another variety of sexual excitation which is often substituted for coitus among women, is the practice of mutual licking of the clitoris with the tongue (cunnilingus). Although not so dangerous as has been maintained, these habits are aberrations of the sexual appetite, and it is needless to say that every human being should abstain from them out of self-respect.
Notice that Forel's stress of every human being automatically excluded marital oral-genital contact. Forel, it would appear, assumed that only women practiced such sexual habits. Until this century, medical men were, for the most part, under the impression that fellatio was only performed by homosexual males and cunnilingus was performed only by homosexual females. Both forms of sexual activity evoked repugnant reactions from all concerned.
Albert Ellis, a noted New York psychoanalyst, conducted research on several homosexuals in order to prepare a paper on the subject. In The Problems of Homosexuality in Modern Society, Ellis discusses his findings: The neurotic element in homosexuality is not the homosexual activity or desire itself, since man is biologically a bisexual or pluri-sexual animal who, to some degree, may be considered rare or abnormal if he has absolutely no homoerotic desires or participations during his entire lifetime. The abnormality in homosexuality consists of the exclusiveness, the fear, the fetishistic fixation, or the obsessive compulsiveness which is so often its concomitant.
While considering Ellis's thoughts on homosexuality and its naturalness under certain conditions, it would be equally wise to consider the words of Alfred Kinsey in Sexual Behavior in the Human Female: i In most states the sodomy acts are so worded that they would apply to mouth-genital contacts and to anal coitus between married spouses, as well as to both heterosexual and homosexual relations outside of marriage. Surprisingly few persons including very few attorneys are aware that the sodomy acts can be extended to married partners. The penalties for such acts may in some jurisdictions be exceeded only by the penalties for murder, kidnapping, and rape. There are court statements on the applicability of these sodomy statutes, and one case even goes so far as to uphold the conviction of a man for soliciting his wife to commit sodomy.
As it has been pointed out several times before in this text, although the moral attitudes towards sexual behavior have changed and become much more lenient, the laws have not.
