With the success of Vladimir Nabokov's Lolita-first as a novel, then as a successful film-we incorporated a new word into our language. That word is "Lolita," the teenage seductress in Nabokov's story, and it had come to be synonymous with any subteen or teenage girl who practices her sex wiles on much older men.
The Russian author tried with fair success to dig deeply into the psychological makeup of the heroine. She emerges as a prototype of sexual behavior that is much overlooked and misunderstood in our society. We tend to view such accounts only as "myths," but most psychiatrists and researchers into sex patterns and motivations think differently.
Such prominent and respected men as Kinsey, Freud, Ellis, and Krafft-Ebing have long believed that the most sexually aggressive age of a girl is between the ages of twelve and sixteen. Case books of psychiatrists, police, and social workers bear this out.
Our protective society is aimed at the protection of the juvenile. In courts of law, all minor children used to be considered "infants," incapable of being charged with offenses of a sexual nature or of being held responsible for participation in sex with older persons. In most states, those below a certain age (varying from sixteen to eighteen) are believed not qualified or equipped to think or respond as adults do.
Add to this the fact that most codes state that the female is doubly excused and guarded, as opposed to the male juvenile, and it is little wonder that we discovered that we have created a "bogeyman,"-a "monster" in human form- whom we tab the "dirty old man" figure.
In this book we intend to look at facts, as they are recorded from the lips of the young Lolita's who took part in sex acts with older men. We shall attempt to open the eyes of the reader to the fact that sexual urges are strong within each of us, beginning at an age when most of us believe that childhood games and sports are the desire of most children and the order of the day.
For example, take the following brief testimony from a closed courtroom trial in Oregon. The court was closed to all but related parties because of the age of the girl involved. You, the reader; may judge the guilt or innocence of one or both parties. We shall hear the fervent pleas of the defendant-the man accused of statutory rape and contributing to the delinquency of a minor-a man of integrity, but of weak will, whose life was ruined by one short hour of indiscretion.
"But, Your Honor-" Harry L. protested, "-I had nothing to do with starting this. Carol was simply a baby-sitter to me-a child. I treated her as a child. She acted like a child, until that one night. I doubt if any normal man could have withstood the sexy advances of this girl. That's my only crime, sir-being unable to refuse sex with a girl who knows more about exciting a man than most prostitutes do!
"I was driving her home. I couldn't help but notice that her dress was up unusually high and that she wore no panties. She wanted me to see it. She had unbuttoned the top buttons of her blouse, saying it was hot, so I could see most of the rounded curves of her breasts-and when she bent forward, I could even see the nipple."
The judge rapped sharply with his gavel. He spoke briskly to the defendant. "Mr. L., I have patiently explained the issues at stake here. This child is just that-a child. She cannot be held responsible for her actions. You are an adult man. You must take the blame for this act, under the laws of this state. I cannot continue to listen to you trying to malign the character of this child!"
"But, Your Honor," Mr. L. pleaded, almost in tears, "my life is on the line. My family. My wife. My job. Surely-"
The gavel rapping cut him off again. His shoulders slumped and he sat down beside his lawyer, tears welling up in his eyes.
He was sentenced to two-to-five years for statutory rape and one year for contributing to the delinquency of a minor child, the sentences to run concurrently.
Yet, here is the testimony of the girl involved, a thirteen-year-old nymphet who had known full sexual intercourse at eleven, and who admitted to having seduced many males whose ages ranged from fifteen to fifty-two!
These are facts as they came from the painted lips of Carol W. Most of them were given calmly, even boastfully. This girl is not demented nor retarded, nor is she a product of the slums or of a broken home. She is somewhat typical of the middle-class child of today in that she is not ashamed to discuss her sexual life. Nor does she feel any guilt about it, although she did try to shoulder the entire blame for seducing Mr. L., so that he would not go to prison.
"I wondered about Harry from the first night I went there to baby-sit for them. He was so good-looking, and polite. He treated me as if I were grown up, and I liked that. When we drove home that night-his wife was at home-I tried to get him to talk about sexy things. I asked him if he and his wife had ever been to a 'swappers' party.' He pretended he didn't know what it meant, and when I explained, he blushed and said that he hadn't-and that he never would attend one.
"I had my dress up high, and I could see him glancing at my thighs. I asked him to buy me a milk shake and a hamburger. He stopped at a drive-in, and we each had one. He kept looking at my legs, but he didn't do anything. I knew he never would. He was a real square. He was nice, but awful dumb about sex.
"I did that about three times, and then I began to get hot with him. My boyfriend was always over to see me when I baby-sat, and he would neck a lot and get me all ready for some real lovemaking, then he'd cut out. So, when Harry and his wife got there, I had usually masturbated once or twice, but I was still hot for the real thing. I'd been screwed a lot of times, but always by boys. Oh-one man was thirty-I was his baby-sitter, too, but he was so scared that he didn't even finish. He came all over my legs, while he was trying to put it into me!
"And the boys-they were just too dumb. All they did was play with my titties and then stick their finger up inside me. They didn't have the guts to try the real thing. I don't think they even knew how!
"But I knew that Harry did. I used to get a kick out of watching his hard on bulge his pants out, and how he would try to hide it from me.
"So this one night, I just reached over, unzipped his pants, and took out his hard cock. I played with it a little, and he finally reached over and began to feel my titties, then my pussy. I was getting hot, and I asked him to drive someplace where we could do something, and he did.
"We got out of the car and lay on the grass. He sucked my nipples first, I played with his cock, and, finally, he got on top of me and began to fuck me. He was sweating, and he seemed in an awful hurry, but he was good. I came twice while he was coming the first time, and then his pecker got soft and he pulled it out. But I wanted a lot more. I asked him to kiss my pussy, but he didn't seem to want to at first. He tried to wipe the come out of it with his handkerchief; then he got down between my legs and began to tongue and finger my cunt.
"He was like that when the patrol car cruised by and flashed the spotlight on us. He wasn't to blame. I wanted to do it. I enjoyed it way more than Harry did. I hope he doesn't get in too much trouble, because he really couldn't help himself, once I was turned on for him."
In spite of Carol's frank account of her seduction of Harry L., he was sentenced to prison while she was merely put on probation for six months during which a social worker (not a psychiatric case worker or a qualified juvenile counselor) visited her home once a month.
I talked with Harry L. I was most impressed with his parting words, spoken in an agonized, bitter tone. He said, "Mr. Benjamin, the girl was a woman in her body. She let me see her private parts-she almost threw them in my face She opened my pants and played with me. I ask you, as I asked the judge, what in the name of Kinsey is a man to do with such little sexpots?"
The answer is fairly simple, if the records are to be considered, for ninety-nine men out of a hundred would do precisely what Harry did: they would take the forbidden fruit, bowing to the gutter truism that "a stiff prick has no conscience."
That his is not an isolated case is easily proven. In 1968, more than 5,000 girls-who were under the age of 13-had babies out of wedlock. This year, authorities predict, more than 30,000 teenage and pre-teenage girls will give birth to illegitimate babies. It follows that if this many girls are "getting caught" there must be literally hundreds of thousands who are gambling with sex and who do not get caught.
"They mature much earlier," explains Dr. Joseph Michaelson, pediatrician at the Jewish Hospital in Brooklyn, New York. "In 1840, the onset of menstruation was 16 or 17. Today, it is not unusual for a girl to begin menstrual periods at age 11! We are, therefore, dealing with girls who have practically bypassed youth, and who think of themselves and conduct themselves, as women!"
Between the years of 1940 and 1960, illegitimacy increased by 112 percent! Since I960, the illegitimacy rate has almost tripled, and experts predict that in the year 1970, upwards of ten million illegitimate children will be born! This is not to say that all of them will be born to teenage mothers, but statistics prove that more than half that figure will be!
These cases that we shall discuss have been taken from real life. We hope that a study of them will somehow help understand this problem, and how it came to be. We also hope that steps may be forthcoming that will result in a substantial reduction in these figures in the years to come. These cases have been drawn from research, personal interview, and case histories, and have been thoroughly documented. Ironically, no fictionalization or dramatization is needed, for these girls under discussion are more shocking than any X-rated film or daring novel!
How serious is this problem of the subteen sexpots? How wild are they? The daily papers cannot tell half the story, for fear of "invasion of privacy" suits, because of the girls being underage and being considered as "infants." However, some of the more honest magazines are baring the details of how these "babies" are engaging in all types of sex acts, for money or for kicks. They also appear in the men's magazines as nude models. Girls' institutions abound with They are everywhere. Read your daily paper and see how often such items as this appear: Two local girls were arrested in a motel with three men by vice squad officers. Because the age of the girls are 13 and 12, their names will be withheld!
The problem is here, and it-is growing. The time for those who care to act to help these too-often unfortunate and misguided children-is NOW!
CHAPTER ONE: "BOOT CAMP" FOR A SEXPOT
"I knew when I saw the way his prick was beginning to stand out straight and give funny little jerks that he would do just about anything I asked him to. He was so embarrassed, standing there naked, that I wanted to laugh, but I didn't. I didn't want to spoil my chances with him, because he could do me a lot of damage-or a lot of good.
"The look on his face was strange. I didn't know if he was going to laugh or cry. He just stared hard at my cunt and my little boobies, almost as if he didn't believe that I was that grown up. Almost as if he were really seeing me for the first time, even though I had been around him all my life.
"I wondered if he was ever going to get down to doing it to me, and I ran my hands over my breasts and my stomach. His eyes seemed glazed. He walked over to the bed and put his hand on my breast almost as if he thought it was some sort of a 'falsie.'
"It felt good when he touched the nipple; then he began to massage my whole breast. I watched his cock getting bigger and bigger, and I could see the little beads of sweat on his upper lip and on his forehead. He was really hooked.
"I smiled up at him and said, 'Come on, Daddy, don't be scared.' It was like he was the child and I was the grown-up one. He sat down on the bed and put his hand on my thigh. I tingled to the touch, and he finally let his eyes rove down to my little love mound. The soft hair was just beginning to show around the lips of my pussy, and I spread my legs wide apart. He licked his lips as he looked into the, wet, red opening and, almost as if he were a robot or a sleepwalker, he bent over slowly and put his lips to the lips of my pussy. He gave a couple of soft, sucking kisses that began to turn me on real good, and then he crawled down between my legs and spread the mouth of my cunt open with his hands.
"I felt his tongue start to tickle my little lump, and after a few seconds he began to dig his tongue in deeper. Every once in a while he would nibble at my clit. I could feel his one hand sneaking up under my ass, and in another moment he was shoving one of his fingers up my asshole. It made me all the hotter. I began to push my ass up to meet his tongue and moved a little so I could lock my legs behind his neck.
"He began to work his tongue faster, and his finger kept pushing in and out of my asshole until there wasn't a spot on my body that wasn't screaming to be fucked-or come, in some way.
"Daddy kept mumbling, but his mouth was so filled with my cunt flesh that I couldn't make out what he was saying. All I cared about was that I felt like I was floating on a beautiful lake of warm water, and it began to grow hotter and hotter, finally boiling up over my whole lower body-especially in my pussy, when I came.
"When he felt my little knob bobbing up and down while I came, Daddy went wild. He began to really bite the flesh of my pussy lips, and made slurping noises as he tried to get the whole slit in his mouth. With one hand he began to jerk off, and his prick came up good and hard-like Paul's.
"When it was hard and long, Daddy crawled up on my body and began to nibble at my breasts. First he would suck and bite one nipple; then he would suck in with his mouth wide open, as if he wanted to inhale the whole thing. But it felt good and got me all hot again, so that when he finally crawled up on top of me and began to push his prick into my cunt it went in easy. It was a surprise to him, I suppose, because he didn't know that I'd had other pricks inside me that were as big and round and hard as his. But he was different. I felt a lot different about him because I wanted him to really come. I didn't even care if I did or not, just so Daddy really had a good 'pop.'
"You could tell that it had been a long time since he'd had any fucking, by the eager nervous way he used his hands. When his prick was deep inside me, and he knew that he wasn't hurting me, he began to kiss my mouth. I opened my lips and teeth wide and inhaled his tongue, and I could feel him shudder and gasp when I locked my legs around his hips and really began to return his pushes.
"I kept saying, through the kissing, 'Fuck me good, Daddy. Fuck me and never stop. Fuck me-fuck me!'
"When he shot his wad into my cunt, I knew it had been real good for him, because he just let go every muscle in his body. It seemed as if every part of him was shaking. He was sweating a lot, and when I began to come, and bucked and reared under him, he started to cry a little.
"He stopped sucking my tongue, just lay there with his prick still inside me, and sobbed. He said, 'Baby ... baby ... who made you like this? Oh, God ... who made you like that?'
"I didn't tell him then, but he sure knew ail about it later."
The account of her incestuous debut with her true father comes from Lisa Colvin (not her real name). For purposes of research for this incident, it is perhaps wise that we begin with the plaintive phrase that came from her father's lips as he realized that his twelve-year-old daughter was an alluring, voracious sexpot. With him, we ask: "Who made you like that, Lisa?"
Her story may be typical, yet it is difficult to believe that there is a definite pattern that is followed by each young girl-child, really-who becomes what we see Lisa to be at the pre-teen period of her life: a wanton seductress who invited and encouraged sex relations with her brother, her stepfather, and her real father.
According to most sexologists, and many psychiatrists, the American female is at her sexually aggressive peak between the years of twelve to fifteen. Almost all the young girls who wind up in the hands of the juvenile authorities or psychiatrists, or both, reveal a history of sexual wantonness between these years. In this respect, Lisa may be typical. In another area, she may be a special case to study: the field that sociologists are most interested in. This covers research into the results of divorce and the broken home." That it has a definite bearing on the sexual behavior of all persons involved seems indisputable, but far too little research has been done in the motivations that are given to the very young children who are the true victims of many such divorces.
Lisa is a good example, even though we tend to believe that such sexual depravity is the product of want and poverty. There is a definite sign of want and of poverty in Lisa's case; but it is a poverty of the spirit and soul, and a want of attention and love and recognition as an individual-and as a normal, love-hungry child.
We shall let Lisa continue her account, which was taken from the records of a noted West Coast psychologist who worked with her for the three years of her confinement to a home for unrehabilitable delinquents. We have kept the essentials intact, in her own words. We have only edited out many redundancies. This, then, is the story of Lisa.
"I didn't know then, of course, where it all began for me. I'm not sure I really understand it all now, but I'll tell you the way I felt, as it went along.
"I never did get much attention around the house. My father was too busy working most of the time, and what other time he had he spent with Doug, my brother. Doug was good in sports, especially in baseball and football, and my daddy spent a lot of time coaching a Little League baseball team that Doug pitched for, and a Pop Warner little league football team.
"I guess Daddy really did like Doug more than he did me-anyhow, I felt that way. I tried to turn to my mother, but that was a lost cause before I was born, I think. I can remember even as a small child hearing my mother and father screaming at each other, and it was always the same old story: he'd scream that she was a slut and a no-good whore, and she'd always yell back that if he was half a man in bed, she wouldn't have to fuck around with other guys.
"Our house was like a time bomb-nobody ever knew when it would explode in our faces. I suppose that because of this, in a way, I became a lot closer to Doug. He was a good kid-he's three years older than me-and he always seemed to me to be the strongest one in the whole family. I know that when a teardown fight would start, he would wink at me and we'd just sneak out. Mostly, we would walk, but sometimes we would go and sit behind the garage in his 'shack.' It was made of wood, and it was pretty big, and his friends often used to come there and have Cokes and just 'shoot the shit,' as Doug called it.
"I got so I felt that it was the only good place in the world-especially when Doug and I were there alone.
"When my mother began to really swing-I mean, to bring her boyfriends right to the house while my daddy was working-both Doug and I knew all about it. We even watched her being fucked and sucked a lot of times. Then we would talk about it when we were alone. I was ten when Doug and I first tried any kind of sex. I couldn't understand why I got so ticklish between my legs when I would sneak up and watch my mother sucking a guy off or having him suck her pussy, then shoving his prick up inside it.
"Doug wasn't much smarter than I was, but I noticed that his pants used to bulge out when we'd watch-and, sometimes, when we would talk about it. He used to go into the bathroom sometimes, and I know now that he played with himself, but I didn't know it then. I walked in on him one day, and he had his cock in his hand and it was stiff and red and he was jerking it something awful.
"I surprised him, got scared at the way he looked at me, and ran. I went out to our hideout and thought about what I'd seen, and it made me get that funny feeling in my pussy. I put my fingers inside my panties and began to rub the lips of it and it felt good, so I shoved my finger up inside it, touched my knob. That really felt good, so I went ahead and shoved my finger in and out and, after a while, I got a good feeling all over.
"I was almost eleven then, and my breasts were just beginning to swell and the nipples started to stand up.
"I was just finishing masturbating when Doug came into the shack. He stopped when he saw what I was doing and grinned at me. 'Feels good, huh?' he asked, and I knew he wasn't mad at me for catching him playing with his cock. I blushed, but I nodded. I always felt better when Doug and I could talk, and now that we both knew a secret about the other one, : me feel even closer to my brother.
"I asked him if he did it often, and he said that he did, almost every night-sometimes oftener. I told him I hadn't ever really tried it before-not really having my finger inside my cunt-and he laughed and unzipped his pants. 'I got a hard on yet, Lisa,' he said, pulling out his prick so I could see all of it.
"I wanted to touch it and play with it, because it made me feel squirmy, too, like when I watched my mother and those men.
"I asked Doug, 'Would you like to try some of the things we saw them do?'
"He was playing with his cock and had a funny, sleepy look in his eyes. All of a sudden he let go of his prick and it bobbed in the air like a jack-in-the-box. I giggled and reached out and took it in my hand, skinning back the loose skin on the head of it so I could see the red, wet head of his cock.
"Doug said, 'Go ahead, Lisa-it won't bite you.' He laughed, and I played with his prick harder. I wanted to take it in my mouth, and I wanted Doug to ask me if he could play with my thing, and maybe kiss it, or put his cock up inside it. It was like he knew what I wanted, because he reached over and slid my panties off. He spread my legs and used his fingers to spread the lips of my cunt. All the while, I was getting hotter and hotter, and his cock got harder. Finally, we just seemed to change our position automatically, so that we were lying facing each other, but upside down, so his cock was close to my mouth and my pussy was close to his face.
"I took the head of it in my mouth, and Doug jumped a foot. When I began to suck on it and put it in deeper, he spread my legs wide, one of them up in the air, and began to run his tongue along the lips of my cunt. Pretty soon, Doug started to stick his tongue into my pussy-he touched the knob and made me jump for joy at the hot thrills that shot up through my body.
"We both began to suck hard, and in a couple of minutes I felt Doug's cock jumping and throbbing, and then I felt something hot and sticky-like shoot into my mouth from his cock. It surprised me, but it didn't taste bad, so I just kept on sucking. All of a sudden, I felt like I was being tickled to death-it started inside my cunt and went through my whole body. I was having an orgasm, but, of course, I didn't know what that meant then. I did know that it felt awful good and that I really loved Doug more than anyone in the whole world.
"We stuck to that for quite a while, then one night when Daddy was working and my mother was out somewhere we began to fool around, playing with each other, then kissing and sucking, and Doug stopped me and asked me if I wanted to try ' ... you know.' Neither of us had ever said the word, but I knew what he meant. I got a real bang out of saying it. I said, 'You mean fuck?'
"Doug nodded, and I just giggled and lay down on my bed with my legs spread wide. I remember wondering if he really knew how to fuck. He didn't, really, but he had watched guys fucking my mother, and he just did like they did. He crawled on top of me and took his cock in one hand and used the other to spread the lips of my pussy. I was all hot and wet, and when I felt his little cock going inside me, rubbing my knob, I really went wild.
"He began to move faster, and I used the muscles in my cunt and my ass to meet, his pushes so that I could feel his cock rubbing my clit as it went in and then out. At the end, we both just began to kiss each other on the mouth, and I stuck my tongue in Doug's mouth and he sucked on it. When I felt his hot juice spurt into me, I came, and it was way better than any other time I ever had-lots better than when he sucked my cunt.
"We just lay there that way for a long time, and I stroked Doug's hair and he played with my breasts. It was the most wonderful feeling I had ever had in my life-just feeling the love flow from one body to another.
"We didn't talk about it-not then; but later, we often used to talk about how we felt and whether it was wrong. I think we both sensed that it was, but we asked each other if anything that good could be bad. Maybe we just wanted to kid ourselves, but we finally decided that we loved each other and that we would do it as often as we could.
"It was just about that time that my mother got a divorce. She wanted to marry this one guy she saw a lot of, and I guess my father was glad to get rid of her, because he never had any sex with her. I found out later that it was because he was so beat, thinking about all the guys she was fucking, that he had some problem where he couldn't get a hard on. But I didn't know that then, and I went into a panic, I guess. I fought her, I cursed her, and I screamed at her. I wouldn't do anything she told me to, and finally she threatened to put me in a boarding school if I didn't stop my actions.
"Doug was the one that reined me in. He pointed out that he would be there, and we could make it somehow until we were old enough to run away. I was eleven and he had just had his fourteenth birthday. My mother got custody of Doug and me, and my father was supposed to have us with him two weekends a month, and for a month during summer vacation, if he wanted to. I know now that it was Doug that suffered most, because he did love my father. They had always been able to do things together, and it was awful lonely for Doug when we went to live with Paul and my mother. I was already used to being by myself, without any attention or love from either my mother or father, but it was harder for Doug. He hated Paul, and so did I, but Paul paid a lot of attention to me and only snarled or cursed at Doug.
"Paul owned a garage, and I guess he made a lot of money because we did have a nice home-Doug and I had our own room-and, after a while, we learned to keep out of Paul's way and get along just by clinging to each other. Meantime, we had sex about three or four nights a week, either masturbating each other, kissing the other one's organ, or fucking.
"Then I began to menstruate. When I asked my mother about it, she explained that I was now a woman and that it would happen each month, and that, above all, I had to be careful when I started dating boys because I could become pregnant and have a baby. 'And if you ever do,' she growled at me, 'don't come whining home to me.'
"That was my total sex education: don't screw because you can become pregnant.
"I told Doug what she had said, and he said that he knew a way that we could do it. Some guys at school had told him how to use 'rubbers,' and he got some. After that, we used to suck each other off more than before, but sometimes Doug would use a rubber. He said he didn't like them, but I didn't notice much difference.
"Paul began to get funny with me. He would grab my ass, or feel my titties, and a couple of times he kissed me on the mouth and stuck his tongue in while he was pulling me close to him, his hands on my ass cheeks, rubbing his stiff cock against my cunt. I could feel it through his pants, and, even though he made me sick, I did get a thrill out of his dry-fucking and his feeling me up all the time.
"I didn't say anything to Paul, so he just kept it up, more and more. I never told Doug, either, because I didn't want him to get mad and do anything. Paul treated him bad enough as it was.
"Then one day, I stayed home from school. I wasn't feeling so good, and my mother said she had to go to a card party in the afternoon so I should just rest in bed. Doug went to school, and Paul went to the garage. My mother left the house about one, and she hadn't been gone more than a half hour when Paul came home.
"I just knew that he had come home to try something on me, and, at first, it made me mad. But then, when he came in and sat on the bed and kissed me on the cheek and asked how I felt, I began to feel differently. I guess, deep inside, I hated my mother-for being a slut and for cheating my daddy out of his kids and his wife. I began to think that maybe I could get even with her, if I could get Paul co fuck me. Then I'd have something on him, and he'd have to treat me and Doug better, or I'd tell my mother that he fucked me.
"I guess he thought I was a dumb little kid, because he began to run his hands over my body-my breasts and my stomach and thighs-and kept asking, 'Where does it hurt, Lisa?'
"I went along with his game. I gave him some silly answers that it hurt 'inside,' and he kept on feeling me up, more and more. I could see the bulge in his pants, and I knew he was getting a hard on-for me. Then, all at once, I forgot all about getting even with my mother, or having a whip to use on Paul. I just wanted to see his cock and feel it inside me. I wondered if it would be bigger than Doug's, or if he knew other things to do that Doug didn't know.
"Paul gave me my cue. He said, with his silly, smirking smile, 'I wish I knew where it hurt, Lisa honey, so I could kiss it and make it better.'
"I told you he acted like he thought I was a dimwitted kid. I ran my hand over my breast and said, 'It hurts a little here, Paul.'
"I was wearing a thin nightie, and he slipped the straps down over my shoulder, leaving my breasts bare. He didn't say a word, just began to kiss my nipples, running his tongue over them until they stood up hard and straight. He didn't stop there. I knew he couldn't. He began to move down, kissing my stomach and sticking his tongue into my belly button. It felt good, and I began to really want him to finish me up good, by fucking me.
"Paul stripped off my nightie and spread my legs and began to kiss my pussy lips, every once in a while running his lips along the inside of my thighs, taking little nibbles of my flesh.
"As he bent over, I reached down and began to rub his cock through his pants. It was lots bigger than Doug's. I unzipped his pants and began to stroke it gently. He was getting hotter all the time, and when he felt my clit jumping around as I had my first come he was like a wolf. He acted as if he were going to eat my cunt out of my body, then chew it up and swallow it.
"I unbuckled his belt and started to slide his pants down over his hips, but he beat me to it. He stood up and stripped off his pants and his shorts in one movement, and I could see his eyes on fire for me as he mounted my body. I wanted him to give me all of that luscious, big, hard dick. He was so eager, he was trembling.
"As he began to shove it in, he mumbled, "This won't hurt much, baby. A little at first-but it'll be good for you in a minute.' I almost wanted to laugh, but I didn't. His prick felt good as it went in deeper. It was longer than Doug's and it reached farther inside me, touching the inner walls of my cunt while it rubbed against my clit with every in-and-out stroke.
"I locked my legs around his hips, and he began to kiss my neck and eyes, then my mouth. I felt like I was a queen-a grown-up woman-to be able to excite a man of Paul's age like I was doing. And I guess I was proud, in a way, that I was taking my mother's lover away from her! Not that it would matter, because I knew that she was already cheating on him with other men. Doug and I had both seen her with other men, but we hadn't thought of using that to blackmail her-not yet.
"Paul kept muttering about what a sweet little fuck I was, over and over, and, inside two minutes, we both came at the same time. I went straight to the clouds when I felt his come shoot up inside me. He was some lover, and for a second I could envy my mother, having that hard, wonderful prick any time she wanted to. I remember thinking, almost at the same time, that she was a cheap slut, because she was cheating on Paul just as she had cheated on my father. I think that if I hadn't been so thrilled with Paul's fucking I would have screamed to the skies: 'There, you no-good sonofabitcbin' whore-take some of your own medicine!'
"I had a strange vengeful feeling for Paul, too. He lay there panting-, still kissing my neck and ears, and I suddenly wanted him to know that I wasn't a dumb little girl, that I knew how he'd cheated my father. I even wanted to rub his nose in the shit of my mother by telling him that he was a sucker, that she was cheating on him just like she'd cheated my daddy. But I didn't. I wanted to save it, and use it when it most counted.
"When Paul pulled his cock out of me and wiped it on his handkerchief, he changed suddenly. He looked worried and his voice was nasty. 'Do you know what to do?' he asked, frowning. I smiled up at him innocently. 'What to do about what?' I asked.
"About-taking a douche, or something. About-not getting pregnant."
"Maybe you ought to use a rubber next time," I needled. He scowled at me. 'You damned little sexpot,' he snarled. 'If you get pregnant or tell your mother about this, I'll beat the shit out of you and then throw your little ass in a school for wayward girls.' He was climbing back into his pants, and he started to leave. He stopped at the door and growled, 'I mean it, too. Just one peep out of you, and I'll promise you -you'll be sorry.' Then he walked out. I heard the car start in the driveway and he drove back to work.
"I-just lay there, feeling good-feeling proud of, myself. I think that was the first time the idea came to me of how to get back with my father. Not so much for me, but for Doug. I could watch the hate building up in Doug every day, and I didn't want him to get into a fight with Paul, because he was always threatening Doug the way he did me-that he'd put him in a 'home' if he got smart or refused to obey orders.
"But I didn't say anything to Doug about it. I was aware that I had a lot of power at my fingertips, and I wanted to be sure that it worked out like I wanted. I wanted to live with my father-Doug and me-and I began to plan how I could do it.
"It didn't work out the way I thought it would. Doug drowned that summer in the river, and I was all alone, worse than I'd ever been. I'd always counted on Doug to tell me what to do, and in a vague way I knew that I had lost the only person in the world who really loved me.
"I really crawled into a shell after Doug died. I became meaner and meaner with my mother and with Paul, and many times I almost screamed at them to shut up, or I'd tell on both of them-Paul for fucking me, and my mother for fucking any man that asked her.
"My daddy began to spend more and more time drinking after Doug died. He seemed to be in a daze, and I could understand in a way why, because I was, too. I didn't understand all that was happening, or why it had to be so miserable for so many people-just because my mother was a cheap lay.
"Daddy never missed a chance to have me for a weekend after that, and when my mother started to object to it, I hinted to her that she'd better not squawk too loud, or I'd tell Paul all about her 'lovers.'
"She just glared at me. I knew she hated my guts, but she didn't put up any more arguments when my daddy asked to take me places or have me visit him for the weekend.
"Paul left me alone for quite a while after Doug drowned, but then he came on strong again-only this time he used a rubber when he fucked me.
"I didn't like it so much now. I guess I'd begun to hate Paul, too-almost as much as I hated my mother for what, she'd made happen to me and to Doug and my daddy. And Paul was getting meaner to me-almost as if he was ordering me to be his mistress. I still liked his fucking and his kissing my pussy; but, one day when my mother was away somewhere, he finally went too far.
"He'd had a few drinks, and when he got me undressed and took off his pants and shorts I could see that his cock was flabby and droopy. Before, he'd always been quick to get hard, just by kissing me or undressing me.
"He was in a mean mood. I remembered that he had had a big argument with my mother the night before, and I guessed that it was over her running around the way she did all the time. He had gone into Doug's old room after the argument and spent the night there.
"Now, he was ugly. He walked over to me and took his prick in his hand and snarled, 'Suck it hard!' I resented him being that way, as if I were some damned whore-like my mother.
"I looked up at him defiantly and said, I'm not your slave or your slut! Go to hell!'
"I really did want him to fuck me, but I didn't want him to get the idea that I was a piece of property that he could use or abuse.
"He stood there looking down at me in a drunken stupor, as if he didn't believe that a little puppy like me would dare snap back at him. Then he slapped me hard across the face, and it made me see red. I had never been hit by a man before, and I didn't know what to do about it. I knew I wasn't going to let him get away with it, so I reached out and grabbed his soft cock and raked it with my fingernails! I really felt like tearing it out by the roots, but I made him back off. He began to curse me and hit me, and I caught a glimpse of his cock as I was ducking away from his punches, and I was amazed to see that it was getting hard!
"He finally stopped hitting me and stood there panting, his cock standing out straight, bobbing up and down every so often. 'You little bastard,' Paul screamed. 'You're going to get what's coming to you!' He jumped on me, and before I knew what he was going to do he had turned me over on my stomach and was spreading my legs by using his knees to push them apart. I guess I must have begun to get hot, because I didn't want him to stop. I had never had it from behind. Doug and I used to talk about doing it 'doggie-fashion' but we never did try it.
"Paul was strong, and he pushed me down on the bed with one hand pressed into the middle of my back, his weight behind it. He was holding his cock in the other hand, and I began to relax, wanting to be fucked, in spite of the way my body hurt from his beating.
"Suddenly, I felt a sharp pain start at my asshole and spread to my whole lower body. Paul had shoved his cock into my asshole! It burned, and it made me "feel that he would split my asshole wide open. I couldn't do much about it, but I struggled harder. The more I did, the more Paul put his weight on my back, and finally I felt his entire cock plunge deep into my asshole!
"I wanted to scream from the pain, but it was a funny kind of hurt. I didn't really get any sex kick out of it, but still, it really got me excited and horny. Paul was making grunting noises with each plunge into my shit-hole, and the rhythm got faster all the time. Finally, through the pain, I felt his come shooting up inside of me. Paul pulled his prick out right away, and I felt like I had just relieved myself of a big turd. My whole ass ached, and the hurt went way up into my body.
"Paul went to the bathroom and I could hear the water running. I knew he was washing off his cock, and I got madder and madder as I thought of what he had done. The bastard didn't care a thing about me! He would hurt me as quick as he would kiss my cunt, and I finally came to the conclusion that I wasn't going to take any more of his cheap shit. I wanted to get away from the bastard and from my slut mother, and I decided to do it. Even better, I knew how to do it so it would punish both of them and make everything better for Daddy and me.
"When Paul walked out of the bathroom, pulling up his pants, he seemed a lot more sober than before. He glared at me and warned, 'You little bitch, you say anything to your fucking, no-good mother, and I'll really dump your ass into a home!'
"When he left, I lay there, my ass aching, thinking how I would get even with the horny sonofabitch. It was my father's weekend to have me with him, and I knew that I could make it work. Daddy had been a lot different with me since Doug died-more gentle and thoughtful, as if he were just getting to know me-which I guess was true.
"He came to pick me up Saturday morning, and we went to an amusement park and had a good time. Daddy was always sober days, but nights, he usually began to drink early and always ended up passing out. I had often helped him get into bed, and he always said the same thing when I turned out the light. He'd say, 'You're a good girl, Lisa-not like your mother.' Once, he slipped and said, '-not like that fuckin' whore I married.'
"I knew that if I worked on Daddy, he would put a stop to that bastard, Paul, and that he'd have the ammunition to use in court-Paul's fucking me.
"When we got back home it was getting dark, and since we had eaten two meals at the park, along with some hot dogs and popcorn, Daddy began to drink. He fixed himself a martini, and I knew that when he got on those he always ended up pretty fall-down drunk.
"After he had his second one, and we were watching TV, I told him that I was a little dirty and tired, and I was going to take a bath and go to bed early. He just nodded, and I filled the tub with warm water and climbed in. I deliberately saw that there were no towels hanging out, and that there was no soap that I could use. I knew what I was doing, and I wanted to get to Daddy before he got too drunk.
"I stripped and got into the tub. I looked down at my boobies and my cunt, and I knew that I had a good body and that it would excite any man-even my daddy. Then I called out to him: 'Daddy, I'm in the tub and there's no soap or towels-will you get me some?'
"I didn't think he heard me at first, so I called 'Daddy-' again. I heard him shut the TV off, and then he came into the bathroom, his martini in his hand. I could feel his eyes burning into me, but I played innocent. I squeezed the washcloth so it wasn't dripping and held it out to him. 'Wash my back while you're here, will you, Daddy?' I asked.
"He got a bar of soap from a drawer, unwrapped it, and took the washcloth. He had gulped down his drink in one swallow, and I could see that it was already getting to him. He rubbed some soap on the washcloth and began to wash my back. It felt good to have his hands on me, and I knew that he was staring at my ass and my cunt as he scrubbed me carefully. Then he began to rinse me off, and I looked over my shoulder at him. 'Want to dry me off?' I asked, smiling at him.
"He seemed in a daze, but he stood up and nodded and got a towel from the cabinet and stood there, looking at my body. I had stood up and was facing him. He could see all of my cunt, because I was almost shoving it out at him, and I watched his eyes as he looked at my budding breasts and at my pussy, which was just coming to have a fairly heavy growth of pubic hair.
"I could see his pants begin to bulge, and I knew that he was getting horny, but he seemed in a daze. I knew it wasn't the booze. I could see a different thing in his eyes and in the way he kept licking his lips.
"I held out my arms and laughed, 'Dry me, Daddy. I won't bite you!' He moved closer and began to dry my body, careful not to touch my breasts or my cunt-at first. I asked, 'Haven't I got a nice body, Daddy?' He just kept on rubbing my stomach and shoulders and I knew he was really getting horny. I went into my act. I began to cry a little, and when he saw the tears-I could always turn them on or off-he dropped the towel on the floor and put his arms around me. I climbed out of the tub and he held me close. I could feel his cock getting stiff as it brushed against my cunt, and I kissed him on the lips and said, 'I'm so lonely, Daddy, without Doug. I just want-want somebody to love me, the way Doug used to, Love me, Daddy-please love me.'
"I do, Lisa-" he mumbled, pulling me even tighter to him. "I do love you. I do." He seemed to be trying to convince himself that he only loved me as his little girl, not as a person with a luscious, provocative body.
"Show me, Daddy-really love me," I begged.
"Without a word, he picked me up in his arms and carried me into the bedroom-his bedroom. He put me on the bed, and I lay there, my legs spread wide and my nipples getting hard and jutting up at him. He was in a trance almost, but he peeled off his pants and shorts and then his shirt. He stood there naked. I reached out and took his cock in my hand. He moved a little closer, and I began to pump it a little. It was getting harder, and I pulled him closer, taking his hand. I kissed the head of his prick, then ran my lips down over it and began to suck it.
"He just stood there, staring down at me, wanting me, yet not being able to relax and really make love to me.
"I stopped sucking his cock and pulled him down on the bed beside me. He relaxed a little, then he leaned over and began to kiss my breasts. His hand wandered to my pussy and he began to shove his finger up inside, touching my clit and making it jerk. He suddenly changed completely. He seemed to forget that I was his daughter, and that I was only twelve. His passions took over and he acted as if he were with an adult, attractive woman whom he wanted very much.
"He began to kiss my stomach, moving down, gently biting my flesh, getting me hotter by the moment. I guess that I forgot, for a while, that he was my real father. I wanted him to fuck me and kiss me, and I didn't care who he was. I began to feel the same as I had when Doug made love to me. I just knew that Daddy loved me and that I wanted him to go all the way. I even forgot that I was working out a plan to get away from my mother and Paul.
"Like I said at the beginning, I took command and he was helpless. After he had made me come by sucking my cunt, he moved up and began to fuck me. It was wonderful, and I just let myself go, using all of my body on him to make him come good.
"When he did, and began to sob and say, 'Who made you like this, baby?' I finally remembered why I had seduced him.
"It was a long time later that I finally told him. I had sucked him off, then he had mounted me and fucked me again. I must have come five times to his three, and, for hours, we just loved each other. No crying-no fears-just loving, like any man and woman do who really love each other.
"He was cold sober when we finally stopped. He put on his shorts, I just put on a thin nightie, and we went to the kitchen where I made some coffee. He sat at the kitchen table, just staring at me as I moved, as if he wanted to apologize for what he had done. Over coffee, we talked.
"I told him about Paul-but not about Doug. I didn't want to hurt Doug's memory, so I made it sound as if Paul had been the first one to fuck me and make me suck his cock.
"I could see him getting angry, and it brought him out of his daze. He leaned across the table and took my hand. Looking deep into my eyes, Daddy said, 'What do you want me to do, baby?'
"I told him that I wanted to come and live with him, to get away from Paul and my mother. I told him that I knew all about her fucking other men, and never him, while they lived together. I told him all the times that Doug and I had watched while other men made love to her. I told him that I hated her, and Paul, too, and that if he didn't go to court and get me back, I'd run away somehow.
"We went to bed that night in his bed, but we didn't screw or anything. We just talked about what he was going to do, and how I would go to court and testify to all the things that he was going to charge Paul and my mother with.
"When we woke next morning, Sunday, we just naturally began to caress and kiss, and after a few moments Daddy had a real good hard on, and we just plain screwed. It was as if the talk we'd had had taken away all the clouds and we were just like a man and a woman in love. While he fucked me, Daddy whispered sweet things to me, like, 'You've got a sweet body and a beautiful face, Lisa. I love you like I've never loved anyone-you're my idea of heaven.' Even when Doug and I used to play around, it was never like that. Doug just wasn't the kind to make love with words, and I guess my daddy had been away from a real, loving woman for so long that all the words had been building up inside him, and now he let them out.
"He was so gentle and sweet to me from there on, it made me want to cry. He had explained that the court might make me a ward of the state, so that I couldn't live with him like I wanted to, but I told him even that would be better than living with those two.
"When he took me home Sunday night, we were both filled with love-full, real love, that started inside our bodies and found an outlet when we really made love to one another. I hated to see him drive away, but he promised that he would go to the District Attorney's Office and tell them what I had told him about Paul and my mother. And he kept his word. On Tuesday, Paul was arrested and my mother was served with a summons accusing her of maintaining an unfit home for a juvenile. Paul was charged with rape and contributing to the delinquency of a minor.
"Instead of making me a ward of the court, they gave my father temporary custody of me. The man from the juvenile court told Daddy not to worry, that he was positive that the court would give him permanent custody. For two weeks, Daddy and I had so much fun-not just in bed, but in a lot of ways. He took me to movies, to the parks, the zoo, for a boat ride-it was like being a brand-new little girl again. Then, when we got home, it was even better, because we didn't have to pretend that we weren't so much in love.
"Daddy hardly ever drank now, and we both looked forward to just being together, with more love than most girls or fathers ever know.
"I suppose that's hard to understand, what with all the incest that was going on, but at the time neither of us even thought 'bout it. We were just too much in love and enjoying sex too much to think of what might happen.
"I was so carried away that I never thought about me getting pregnant. Daddy started to talk about it once or twice, but he never did use a rubber, and I never did take any pills or anything. I guess we were just too happy to think that anything could spoil it.
"Then it happened-I got pregnant. I was too scared at first to tell my daddy, but after three months it began to show and he was floored. He just didn't have any idea what to do. He'd heard about abortions, but he hadn't the vaguest idea where to contact one, or how much it would cost. He did talk to a man who worked with him, without telling him any of the truth, and this man said we should try something called Er-got-apial, and I took a whole bottle, along with a lot of hot baths, but I was still pregnant and getting bigger by the day.
"Then the roof fell in. My teacher in school, my homeroom teacher, suspected I was pregnant and told the school doctor. I was called down to the principal's office and the doctor was there. They insisted that I be examined, and I got scared and let them.
"When they found that I was really pregnant, they called in the juvenile authorities and I was taken away from my daddy. I never did tell them who the father of my baby was, and they took advantage of a new law in our state that said a 'clinical abortion' could be performed at the order of a court. I was almost four months pregnant when they did the abortion. After I got better, they sent me to a state home for delinquent girls, and I never did see my father again.
"I found out later that my mother had gone to the police and swore that she knew from seeing us that my father and I had been having sexual relations. She couldn't prove it, of course, but they did investigate my father. One night, he got smashed to the ears and drove his car into a telegraph pole. I guess everyone that knew about us thought it was suicide. I don't know. I guess when his world fell down, maybe he did want to get out of it. I've felt that way a hundred times-that's why I have to take psychotherapy.
"I guess I'm a lot wiser than my seventeen years show-at least about a lot of things. I don't know what I'll do when I get out, if I do get out, at eighteen years of age. Life here isn't too bad, except for the lesbians that hound you all the time. They don't get anywhere with me. I want a man-a good man who will love me like my brother and my daddy did, and I want to get married some day. But for now-I just don't know what I want. Life goes by awful quick, yet it drags a lot. Maybe the docs will be able to help me enough so that I'll have a good life when I'm out. I hope so."
That is Lisa's account of what happened to a lonely, frightened, love-starved child. The tragedy of her life is probably not yet over. Her psychiatrists feel that she will fall prey to older men's lusts when she is finally released, for she has a definite complex involving older men, like her stepfather, Paul, and her real father, who is now dead.
Yet, they feel that she is sincere in her efforts to straighten out her life. She is an honor student, and she has never been in any trouble at the institution where she is incarcerated. Most important, her doctors point out, is the fact that she has not succumbed to the advances of lesbians, as a great many of the girls do when isolated among their own sex.
We can only say a fervent amen to Lisa's closing words: "Maybe I'll have a good life when I'm out. I hope so."
CHAPTER TWO: THE "DIRTY LITTLE GIRL"
"I knew that I could make Carter do anything I wanted. He was too scared that I would tell my father and mother that lie had been fighting me and playing with my pussy for years. He always thought that it was him that had started things, But I was the one who really worked it.
"I'd had men play with me and kiss my pussy -and even lick my ass-long before Carter came to work for my father. Carter was our chauffeur. He was the third one that I could remember, and there were probably some others before him. My father kept firing them because he was sure they were sleeping with my mother. I saw one of them in bed with my mother, so I know from seeing it with my own eyes that my mother was a bitch.
"But Carter was older-he was older than my father. I think Carter was about 50, maybe even older. I know that he had gray hair and a lot of wrinkles, but he was pretty nice looking-for an old man. And he was crazy about me from the beginning. I was almost eleven when he came to work for us, and it wasn't a week before I had him eating out of my hand. I liked him, and I had grown pretty used to being played with and kissed by the men that worked for my father. We had a gardener, too, and he used to fool around with me a lot, but he didn't live on the grounds like Carter did. He came five mornings a week, so I didn't get to see as much of him.
"Carter lived in an apartment over the garage. We had three cars, but Carter was never very busy. He just kept the cars shiny and running, and drove my mother and me around a lot. My daddy always drove his own car when he went to work.
"The first time that I deviled Carter was about a week after he came to work. I knew he was in his rooms. I had watched him go up. I went up the outside stairway quietly; his door was open, and I just sneaked in. "He was lying on his bed, and he had his clothes off. It was hot, but he wasn't allowed to use the pool. He had a big fan going, and it blew cool air on his body. He was reading a magazine, and I watched him for a while. It was a man's magazine-you know, like Playboy-one with a lot of pictures of women without much clothes on.
"After a while, Carter's one hand went down and grabbed his cock It was flabby at first, but after he played with it a little while he was looking at some of the pictures, it began to get pretty stiff. Not all the way stiff, but not flabby, either. Carter kept on jerking it, faster and faster, and pretty soon he dropped the book and rolled over on his side, still jerking his thing pretty hard. Then I saw it spurt white goo out of the little hole in it, and Carter caught it in his hand. He got up after a minute or so and went into his bathroom and washed his hands off.
"When he came out, I was sitting on the bed. It scared him at first, and he turned red and began to stutter. 'What are you doing here, Miss Jill?' he stammered.
"I just smiled at him and asked him, 'What were you just doing, Carter?'
"He tried to act mad, but I knew he was just scared because I was there. He said, 'You're not supposed to be here. This is my place. Now you just trot right back to where you belong!'
"I kept staring at his prick. It was getting soft again, and when he saw me eying it, he covered it with his hand.
"I smiled at him and tormented him more. I asked, 'What's that you were playing with, Carter?'
"He frowned and tried to look mean. He snapped, 'You get out of here. You shouldn't be here.'
"Let me see it!" I demanded. "If you don't, I'll tell my daddy that you made me come up here, and that you tried to finger my thing!" It took a minute for him to realize what I was saying. He thought I was just a little girl, but I knew what sex was all about. I also knew that I liked it when men did certain things to me, and I was going to make Carter do what I wanted-anytime I wanted.
"You-you're a little monster!" Carter managed to say. "I've never even talked to you before!"
"I said, 'Yes, but Daddy will believe me. He always does.'
"What do you want from me?" Carter began to whine, now. He knew he was trapped, and he had to do what I told him to.
"I want to see what you're covering up," I insisted.
"He looked around as if he wanted to find a place to hide, then he slowly took his hand off his prick. It was limp and flabby, hanging straight down. It wasn't as exciting as when it had been almost hard, but I was having a lot of fun. He was red-faced again, but I could tell by his eyes that he was angry.
"Come over here and let me see it closer," I ordered. He walked slowly over to me, his cock bobbing up and down as he walked. When he was about two feet away, he stopped. I reached out and touched it, and he jumped away and put his hand in front of it again.
"Don't be scared, Carter," I told him. "You can see mine, if you want." I could see his eyes squinting at me. He was trying to figure out whether I was playing some innocent kid's game, or if I really knew what I was doing.
"I lay back on the bed, lifted my rear end, and slid my silk panties off. I sat up and spread my legs so he could see my wide-open slit. I could see his eyes get big, and his prick jiggled a little. I was smiling up at him, but he looked more scared than ever.
"Kiss me between the legs!" I ordered. He acted as if he hadn't heard me. His eyes never left my cunt. I lay back down and spread my legs even wider. "Stick your tongue up in it!" I said loudly.
"He walked over and got on his knees. I could see the beads of sweat on his forehead and his upper lip. He couldn't take his eyes off my pussy. I knew that he wanted to kiss it, as bad as I wanted him to do it to me. He took both hands and spread the lips of it wide, and then he almost dived into it. I felt his tongue running over my knob and it sent wild shivers through me. I raised up on my elbows so I could watch his face. His eyes were hot and black, and when he stared up into mine I could see that he wasn't scared anymore. He liked sucking my pussy!
"I wanted 'to get that good feeling all over me, so I moved a little closer to him and wrapped my legs around his neck. He was going crazy for pussy now, biting and sucking and licking, all the while making funny, slurping noises. I knew that in a few seconds I would begin to get that feeling, and I moved my hips around and tried to shove my pussy even farther in his mouth.
"Then I felt my knob begin to jerk up and down, and he pulled his lips together and just sucked on it as hard as he could I was on fire. My whole body was on fire. It was real good-a lot better than when I had to just use my own finger, or sometimes a candle or a hairbrush handle. His tongue was soft, but he made it feel good and hard by stiffening it up somehow. I kept on shoving my pussy onto his tongue until there was no more jumping or jerking.
"I thought he would stop, but he reached underneath me and took my ass cheeks in his hands and pulled me to his mouth again. He said, 'Sweet baby cunt-sweet, juicy baby cunt-' Then he went in again with his tongue, only a lot harder this time. I was so excited that I got that good feeling a lot faster this time.
"Carter let go of me after I stopped bucking and rearing the second time, and he stood up. I could see that his cock was really hard now, and he took it in his hand and played with it a little. He smiled down at me, and he wasn't seared anymore. 'Will you kiss mine, Jill?" he begged.
"I might," I said. "But first, you've got to do some more to me."
"He looked at me kind of dumb and asked, 'What more do you want?'
"I relied over onto my stomach and spread my legs wide again. "Lick my asshole!" I told him. I was looking over my shoulder at him and I could see his eyes bulging as he looked up my asshole. He began to rub his prick again and it started to get a little hard. "Come on, Carter!" I prompted him. "Lick it and shove your tongue up inside it while you play with my pussy."
"I spread my legs as wide as I could and Carter knelt down and moved his mouth close. I could hear him panting like a dog that needs water, and he moved his face close to my ass. When he did, I drew my ass up so that I was on my knees. He could see my spread pussy lips, and my asshole, and when he began to lick it, he made long, sweeping strokes with his tongue so that he licked my asshole first, then kept on going until his tongue was running inside the lips of my pussy. It felt good, but I needed more to have that feeling, so I reached down and began to rub my knob. I was wet inside my pussy, and Carter was slobbering all over my twat and my asshole while he was sucking and licking.
"When he started to shove his tongue inside of my asshole, turning and twisting it so that it went in deep, I speeded up my fingering, and pretty soon got that hot, allover tingle.
"Carter didn't even seem to notice, he was so wrapped up with my cunt and ass. He just kept on, and this time he shoved his finger up inside my pussy and played with my knob until I got that feeling again.
"I lay flat on the bed and he stopped sucking my ass and cunt, but his hands were still on my hips, and when I looked over my shoulder at him, I could see that he was staring at my nice, round little ass, as if he wanted to bite big hunks out of it and chew on them.
"I rolled onto my stomach and Carter stared at my red, wet cunt. He began to jerk on his cock again, and it stood up stiff and straight in a couple of minutes. I wondered if it would fit inside me. I had always let men suck me or finger me, but I had never let any of them really put his cock inside my cunt.
"Some of the girls at school that were a little older than me had told me that it really didn't hurt the first time half as much as people said it did. They said that parents told their children that to keep them from doing it.
"I raised up and looked at Carter's face. 'Do you want to put it in my pussy?' I asked.
"That sort of shook him up and he got that scared look again. 'No-I-I might hurt you-make you bleed!' he spurted out.
"Do you want me to tell my daddy?" I needled.
"You little bitch!" Carter snarled. "I should fuck you until it comes out of your ears! It would serve you right if I really ripped up that little cunt of yours!"
"Then do it!" I ordered. "It must be lots better than just playing with yourself like you're doing."
"He looked as if he were going to run away, but his cock was still hard and he was scowling at my pussy, his eyes hot and bright-looking. I ran my hands over my tiny breasts, and it made him tremble a little. He got up and crawled up onto the bed, his knees between my legs. His cock was really hard, and he spread my legs with his hands.
"He couldn't quite make it into my pussy with his cock, so he grabbed both pillows off the top of the bed and shoved them under my ass. That raised me up high so he could get the head of his cock into me.
"I knew from the first second it went in that it was going to be a lot more exciting than anything I'd had yet. The head of his cock rubbed against my knob, and he kept pushing a little harder, then backing it out and coming in again, making my knob jump with every stroke! I knew it was hurting, but the good feeling was a lot bigger, and I didn't mind it. I could feel his cock sliding deeper and deeper until it began to touch the deep parts of my cunt. I was wet and slippery, and by now Carter had forgotten that I was only eleven. He was fucking away like I had seen those men fucking my mother-as if I were a grown woman-and that's what I felt like! I was a woman! I could get men to fuck and suck my cunt! And I knew that from that day on I could always have all the fucking or sucking that I ever wanted!"
The narrator of this sexual episode is twelve-year-old Jill Me--. She is not an isolated case. She is, in actuality, only a prototype of the nymphets and the "Lolita's" that have thrust themselves into the sex scenes of the United States in ever-increasing numbers.
Jill is not mentally retarded, nor is she below normal in intelligence. She is not an innocent little girl toying with a new sensation the way most little girls play with dolls. Jill is simply an oversexed girl who has indulged in sex play since she was nine years old.
She is also typical of another segment of our so-called sex revolt, for Jill is the product of too-busy, too-wealthy parents whose own sex lives are a hodgepodge of infidelity, mate-swapping, and boredom. Of course, it is easy to blame Jill's parents for her actions-the law does, as does most of society; at least, the law says that only adults are responsible for the acts of wayward juveniles. As we grow to know Jill better through her frank discussions of her sex episodes and her aggressive chase of sex thrills, we can readily see that she is far more adult in her thinking, and in her use of her child's body, than are many brides of over twenty-one.
Jill did not get this way by accident. Children are aware of the pleasurable sensations involving their sex organs at an astonishingly early age-often as young as two months!
Jill doesn't recall her very first sex games, but she remembers vividly her early encounters with members of the opposite sex-most of them mature men. She is not a fabrication of a facile writer's mind; she is real, and, more important, she is legion!
She is incredibly precocious, willing, and glad to participate in adult sex games. She is representative of a new breed: the "micro boppers" who really swing. Ted Carpenter, eminent Fordham University anthropologist, discussing the emergence of the subteen sexpots, said, "This isn't something that's going to happen-it's already happening!" This is not the statement of an alarmist, but that of a conclusive, well-documented study made by experts. The material has been authenticated and thoroughly researched, and it clearly indicates that the juveniles are a definite part of the sex revolution that is upon us. The keynote to their attack is shock, but their motivations are the same as their adult counterparts: sexual gratification without guilt feelings and without accepting reprimands from any authority.
In a recent article in Esquire, a 12-year-old boy and an 11-year-old girl boasted of having "gone all the way" several times in sexual relations with much older partners. These children, and others like them, know all about intercourse, orgasm, sex deviations, and the pill. Obviously, "precocious" under describes them. A more apropos term might be "sexual dynamite."
Consider the following: medical records show that the average age at which a girl begins menstruation is now the age of twelve! From this point on, psychologists and doctors point out, they begin blossoming into women, complete with all the sexual desires and capabilities of grown women! They grow pubic hair. Their breasts develop. Their bodies take on curves, and, from a biological standpoint, these girls are now ready for sexual contacts.
Look about-at the premature indulgence with makeup, sometimes total preoccupation with sex, micromini fashions that reveal all their budding allure. It is obvious that they are not only biologically ready for sexual contact, they are telling the world that they are and are going out and proving it!
Never in history has the subteen girl so overshadowed her older feminine counterpart. And with good reason. She spends millions and millions of dollars, and apparently she will spend millions more in the months ahead, for the fashion industry caters to the sexual whims of little nymphets with greater and greater concentration. She wants to be sexy; the adult fashion world is paving the way.
Mini and micromini skirts edge closer and closer to the youngsters' crotches. Onlookers see the creamy flesh of the nymphet's thighs, are treated to the sight of her panties-if she wears any-and all of this is designed to sexually excite every male from eight to eighty. Noted authority Beatrice Kazan, writing in Cosmopolitan, states: "Her mini skirt, short and sassy above the thighs, seems to represent the impudence of a new generation that places sex as the first item of importance."
"Make no mistake about it," states Dr. Donald Arbagian, prominent West Coast sexologist, "the millions of young girls who wear those clothes know what they are doing. They want to tease males and get them 'hot.' "
The natural reaction of the multitudes of bewildered adults is to ask loudly: "Why?" Many psychiatrists offer the obvious answer that these young girls consciously or subconsciously want to show off their bodies, as females have done for centuries. Today, however, we Americans have at last thrown off the restrictions of Puritanism and have become a super permissive people. Other experts who have delved into this phenomenon state unequivocally that, basically, these same girls want sex! It makes no difference to them that from a psychological, emotional, and legal standpoint in our culture, they are still children. Children or not, the sugar-and-spice concept of a subteen miss has fallen into disuse.
The revealing clothing adopted by our young misses is merely a symbol of "the new freedom," most psychologists feel. Says noted designer Rudi Gernreich, "Style is a kind of flaunting of one's personality." No one doubts this; however, much more than personality is being flaunted.
This is not to place the blame at the designer's .door. Sensual music, seductive and suggestive dances, ultra suggestive lyrics, movies that feature nude seduction scenes-all contribute to the general atmosphere of "anything goes," which permeates our society from top to bottom.
Totally stunned and helpless parents and authorities of the school and church stand by and moan: "Freedom, yes-but how much freedom?"
Each community seems to set its own standards of morality, and in each community the guidelines are being assaulted and broken daily by ever-increasing hordes of bold, reckless youngsters.
It is to shed light on the problem, so that we may better understand and cope with it, that the author has clinically documented several of these cases involving "Lolita's." The eases have been drawn from personal research, personal interviews, court and medical records, sociological studies and conclusions, and, in some cases, from on-the-spot taped interviews. In several instances, the author has had to point up and highlight the dramatic effects the behavior of a subject has had on her community, her home, and on the general moral structure of her nation.
How serious is it? How wild are these "sex-babies"? Perhaps Jill's case will serve as an alarm, for she represents the over pampered, moneyed, upper middle-class sub teenager of today. She knows no rules, save those of the satiation of her own desires. She has no curbs, for the cohesion of the American home has disappeared in the years since World War II. She is like a young, sensual animal turned loose in a jungle of sex. She knows it from all sides- from magazine ads, TV commercials, fashion magazines, her parents, older brothers and sisters who have joined the sex revolt. It is no longer a phenomenon-it has become an infection of the youngsters who surround us. Jill is only one case in what might well be several millions. We do not pretend that she is typical, for there is no meaning to the world today of that word: each individual seems privileged to make his own rules of behavior and of decency. We neither decry nor defend, but rather, through the lips of these youngsters such as Jill, we merely try "to tell it like it is."
"I guess I have always played with myself, either with my finger or some gadget I have shoved up inside my pussy-anything that I could use to tickle my clit. I used to just call it my knob, but I know what it is now.
"I can always remember my mother having men come to see her when my father was away. When I was little, and my father was just getting going in his business, he was away a lot-I mean, days at a time, out of town. My mother hardly waited until he was gone before she would have men in. After a while, I guess I sort of took it for granted. I think that in my heart I sort of believed it was all a part of marriage. She didn't act as if it were wrong, and she hardly tried to hide it from me or her friends. She did warn me a few times not to say anything to my father, but that was all.
"I wouldn't have anyway. I used to enjoy sneaking up and watching men with my mother. They did everything, suck, fuck, ass-fuck (I know now), and by the time I was eight or nine, I knew all about sex and was anxious to try it for myself.
"I masturbated often with a candle. It was one of those that had ridges on the base, and I also used a knife to carve it so that it tickled my clit even more when I shoved it in. That was how I came to have my first real sex with a man.
"His name was Mort, and he was one of the men that used to come to the house when my mother was home and my father was out. He was older than my father-at least he had a lot of gray hair and was getting bald, while my daddy was black-haired and real muscular. Mort was thin, and I often wondered why my mother liked him so much more than my daddy.
"Anyhow, he came to the house one day when he thought my mother was home, but she had gone out with another man and a woman friend, and I was home alone. I had found some pictures in my mother's room-pictures of her and another man. She was sucking his cock; he was shoving his cock into her pussy while she had her legs wrapped around him; he was licking her cunt while she had her legs spread wide. But the one that used to make me tingle all over was where they were both lying facing each other, upside down, so that she could suck his cock while he was licking her pussy. I didn't think much about it then, but since, I have wondered who had taken those pictures.
"When I was alone, I sometimes got those pictures out-especially that last one-and while I looked at it, I would masturbate myself.
"I had this one picture that day, and I was in my playhouse-Daddy had bought it for me when I was seven, and it was real big. It was at the back of the yard, behind the swimming pool, and it was my favorite place to go when I wanted to play with myself, or just be alone.
"I never really had any playmates-not like most kids do-because we lived in a neighborhood of people who were older and whose children were all grown up or who were way older than me.
"Mort came so quietly that I didn't hear him-or else I was too carried away with masturbating. He ducked his head and walked in, and there I was, on the little couch I had, my panties off, my legs spread wide, with a picture of my mother and another man doing a 'sixty-nine' while I was plunging my favorite candle in and out of my pussy, rearing and gasping and making funny sounds as the semi stiff candle rubbed my clit harder and harder.
"I guess Mort must have stood there for at least three or four minutes while I worked on my cunt, because I remember when he finally did make a noise to let me know he was there, and I looked around, I saw a big bulge in the front of his pants where his hard prick was shoving against the material.
"I had had that good, strange feeling, and I was just lying there sweating and breathing deeply. I still had the candle inside my cunt, and I had let the picture fall to the carpet. I just wanted to lie there and think about how good it felt, and how much better it would be someday when I could do the things that my mother did.
"Mort sort of coughed, walked in, bent over, and picked up the picture. He stood there looking down at my pussy, with the candle still sticking out of it. I know I must have gotten as red as a beet, and I grabbed at the candle and tried to hide it behind the couch. He was smiling at me, and he didn't seem embarrassed. It was then I noticed the bulge in his pants.
"He held out the picture and said to me, 'Would you like to do it like this, Jill?'
"I was still a little nervous, and I just shrugged. I wanted to, all right, but I was scared. He was a grown man, and I knew that my cunt was still pretty small. I didn't want him to know that I was scared, or that I really was aching to try something besides masturbation.
"He reached down and ran his fingers up the inside of my legs until he came to my pussy lips. He played with the lips for a minute, then shoved his finger up inside it and began to massage my clit! It felt so good-much better than when I did it myself or used a candle.
"He spread my legs, crawled down between them, opened my cunt lips with the fingers of both hands, and just stared into my open slit. It made me feel sort of good, because he was so old, and he seemed to like my pussy so much.
"I like to eat little girls' pussies, Jill. It makes me feel almost as good as it makes them feel. I'm going to suck and lick your pussy-if you want me to."
"He knew I was trembling with 'wanting him to,' and I just nodded, hard. I couldn't take my eyes off his lips as he got closer and closer to my cunt. He licked his lips and, finally, put his mouth down over my cunt! He began to use his tongue to tickle the lips, then he spread them wider apart and dug his tongue inside me, pushing against my knob. I began to squirm and fidget, and that funny feeling began to tickle my cunt, my legs, and my stomach. I reared up my ass so I could feel more of his tongue inside me, and he placed his hands under my ass cheeks and drew me in even more. He moved my legs so they were around his neck, and I could look down and see a funny look in his eyes while he gobbled away at my cunt. His eyes were half-closed and sort of hazy, as if he wasn't really wide awake, and he was lying on the couch so that he could rub his cock hard against it while he sucked my pussy.
"In about a minute, I felt my whole cunt go out of control. It was like I couldn't help the quick, wild movements it was making. I jumped and moaned and tried to reach down and put my hands around his head to make him go in deeper with his tongue, but I couldn't reach him.
"He had his eyes open now, and they were shiny and bright as he licked my knob with long strokes of his tongue. At the end, it was almost all my actions that gave me the wonderful feeling. He just held his tongue stiff inside my cunt, and I bucked up and down and rubbed my clit on it.
"I was making moaning sounds, and he was too, and then that feeling spread over my whole body. I felt like I was in a different world-floating on soft, warm, bubbly water or clouds. He kept on licking and sucking, and the feeling stayed with me for quite a few minutes. When he stopped, he got halfway up and smiled at me.
"He said, 'Now, isn't that a lot better than playing with yourself, or using that dumb old candle?'
"I nodded. I guess I was blushing again, and I was fascinated when he stood up and unzipped his pants and took them off. He took off his underwear at the same time, and his cock was standing straight up, bobbing a little every so often while he moved close. He sat down with his cock and balls close to my face.
"Now, will you kiss mine, Jill?" he asked. I knew I wanted to, but I was still afraid it would choke me. It looked so big and hard and round. But I couldn't take my eyes off it, and I wanted to feel it with my hand. I just reached out and wrapped my hand around it, and I could feel it jump and jerk when I began to stroke it from top to bottom.
"I began to relax more when Mort began to talk to me and stroke my hair. 'Just don't be afraid, Jill,' he said. 'Take it in your mouth and suck hard on it. It won't hurt you-you'll see.'
"I could feel my pussy getting hot and wet again, and I really wanted to feel his cock in my mouth, no matter what happened. I was still riding on the clouds, to think that a grown man would want to suck my pussy, and then want me to suck his cock-just like the man with my mother in the picture!
"I leaned closer to it, and Mort lay back so that it stood up, proud and wild. I brought my lips close to the head of it and put my tongue out and circled its rim. Mort began to moan, 'Oh, baby doll, suck it all-take it all in your sweet mouth!'
"I couldn't help myself any longer. I wanted to taste it and feel it in my mouth, and to feel Mort jump and shudder like he was doing now. I opened my mouth as wide as I could and plunged my lips down over his shaft, taking it as deep into my mouth as I could without choking.
"Mort gasped and groaned, and I moved down so that I could really maneuver his cock with my hands and my mouth. He propped himself up on his elbows and stared down at me. Every time I plunged his prick deep into my mouth, he would sort of shiver and make moaning sounds. I began to let my teeth brush over the head of it as it went in and out, and that made Mort even more wild. He was groaning, 'Suck it, baby, suck it good!'
"I began to do it faster, and he used his ass to shove it even deeper into my mouth. He almost yelled at the end. 'Jill, Jill,' he moaned loudly, 'I'm going to come. Don't be scared- just don't be scared. It won't hurt at all!'
"I didn't care if it did. I was enjoying the feeling of being able to have the attention of one man. I had never before had anyone so interested in me-so close to me-so wanting to make love to me.
"I was sort of surprised when I felt the gush of hot liquid spurting into my mouth, but I wasn't scared. I kept on sucking and swallowing, and Mort's cock kept bucking as he emptied all his come into my mouth. After a while he moved my head gently off his cock and drew me up to lie beside him. He began to kiss my eyes and neck, and then he kissed my mouth. I opened my mouth almost automatically, and I jumped with the thrill of it when he plunged his tongue into my mouth, almost as deep as his prick had been a few minutes earlier.
"While he kissed me like that, he began to massage my clit again, and I ran one hand down and began to play with his cock. It was soft, but not real flabby, and in a couple of moments I began to have that tingling feeling again. I could tell by the stiffness of Mort's prick that he was ready for some more, and I was right. He got up and turned around, like the man in the picture, so that his cock was close to my face and his mouth was near my cunt. He didn't say a word; just spread my legs wide, with one of them up in the air, and began to dig his tongue into my cunt again. I reached out and guided his cock into my mouth, and we just went crazy for each other for the next few moments. He shot some more into my mouth, and I swallowed it. When I had my thrill, he really was biting at the soft flesh of my pussy lips and nibbling at my knob, while at the same time he was shoving one of his fingers deep inside my cunt, touching the inner parts of it so that it seemed that he was filling my whole cunt with himself.
"I came again, and I was so tired I just wanted to lie there that way, forever, with his tongue soothing my hot, burning pussy. I still had his cock in my mouth, but I was only using my tongue to tickle it. It was nice like that.
"Mort got up and put his clothes on. He kissed me and told me that I was a 'sweet, wonderful girl,' and he told me to keep our secret. I wouldn't have told my mother or father anyway. I didn't want to spoil it for myself, now that I had a taste of real sex with a man.
"He gave me his phone number and told me to call him whenever I was alone at home.
"After a week or more, when I didn't call, he came over. He acted as if he were visiting my mother, but while she was fixing him a drink, he whispered to me that he would meet me next afternoon after school. I didn't have a chance to tell him that it wouldn't be possible, because the chauffeur always waited for me, but I did call him next morning.
"He seemed awfully anxious to see me. He said that he'd wait for me, and that he was sure that I could think of some way to get rid of the chauffeur. Our chauffeur's name was Williams. He was about forty years old, and he was a Negro. It was that day that I learned that I had another weapon to use.
"I came out of school and Williams was waiting for me. He always waited by the door and walked with me to the car. He was a quiet man, and most of the time he just said, 'Yes, Miss Jill,' or 'Have a nice day, Miss Jill.' He was very polite and distant, and I guess we had never even talked to each other, except when he took me to school or picked me up.
"I told him that I had to go someplace, to study and practice a recitation I had to give, but he got upset. He was still polite, but he said, 'I'll have to call your mother, Miss Jill. I can't just let you go off alone.'
"That made me mad. I was used to having my own way with everybody. I told him that he was supposed to do what he was told, and he nodded and fooled with his cap-he always took off his hat when he talked to me or my mother or father. But he said that that was my father's orders and that he had to obey my father.
"I was getting mad. I wanted to be with Mort and have some more kissing and sucking. I had been masturbating myself ail those days, and it had begun to bore me. I needed the real thing.
"I told Williams that if he didn't do what I told him and go someplace and wait, I would tell my father and mother that he had been playing with my pussy and that he had tried to take my panties off and do something to me with his prick.
"You never saw anybody as scared as he was. His eyes were wide and panicky, and he kept looking all around to see if anyone had heard what I had said. He was shaking. I told him to go somewhere and call my mother and tell her that I had to stay after school to practice a poem and that he would wait for me. I knew she'd go for that story, because I was always writing poetry and learning poems and reciting them around the house. Nobody paid any attention to me, but I knew she would remember that I always pestered her to listen to me. Anyhow, Williams just nodded and got in the car and drove off. A few minutes after he had gone, I saw Mort, parked across the street, and I went to his car.
"He was a little worried at first. He said we would have to hurry it a little, and he drove to his place. It was a real nice apartment that had an elevator that took you from the basement to all floors. I went up first, so no one would get suspicious, and waited for him in front of his apartment; then he came up.
"We had a good time that afternoon. We had to do everything quickly, but it was good. We didn't waste any time. Mort undressed me and then himself, and we were both pretty hot by that time. He had a good stiff on, and I was all wet and ready, so we went right ahead and got on his bed and 'sixty-nined'-twice. I guess it only took us twenty minutes or so, because we were so hot for it. I had two good comes and so did Mort.
"When he drove me back to the school, Williams was waiting in the car. Mort just drove by and let me off when he had turned a corner, so Williams wouldn't see who I was with. I walked back to the car and Williams got out, tipped his hat, and opened the door. I asked him if he had called my home, and he just nodded. He was a little mad, I could see, and he was still scared.
"I sat there and wondered how it would be if I told Williams that I wanted him to play with my pussy and to suck it and lick it. I didn't really want to, but I just wondered now it would be to suck a black cock, and have a colored man suck and lick me. I got hot on the way home just thinking about it, and when he stopped to let me out and opened the door, I asked him if he was going to tell on me. He said, 'No, Miss Jill,' and I smiled up at him. I said, 'You be nice to me and I'll be nice to you, Williams.' He just nodded. I guess I wanted to really make him remember what I had threatened to do, for I said, 'Maybe some time you really will want to take my panties off and play with my thing!'
"He began to shake, and he put his hat on and drove off. I really began to think about it after that-I mean about how it would be to have Williams suck my pussy, and for me to suck his big black prick.
"He lived in the place up over the garages, and I knew that I could make him do it to me if I wanted to. He was so nervous and scared, I knew he'd have to do whatever I told him.
"That Sunday, my mother and father went out on their boat. I never went along on those trips-I hated the water-except the pool, and I always got sick to my stomach when I went on a boat, so they always left me home. Mort couldn't come over, and I began to get bored with myself. I knew Williams was in his apartment, and I walked out and went up the stairs and knocked. When he answered the door, he was in his trousers and shirtsleeves. I guess I'd never seen him without his chauffeur's uniform on, because he looked different. He looked younger, and he had nice muscles in his arms and chest.
"I asked if I could come in, and he got that. scared look again and looked all around, as if somebody was watching us. I just pushed on past him and sat on the bed. He just stood there, dumb-like, and stared at my crotch. I had spread my legs wide so he could see, and I had put my panties in my schoolbook bag when I left Mort's place. So Williams was having a real look at my wide-open cunt!
"He shut the door quickly and leaned against it. He almost begged me with his eyes to stop tormenting him, but I was getting a kick out of the way he couldn't take his eyes off my cunt and the way he kept licking his lips.
"I told you I'd be nice to you if you'd be nice to me," I smiled at him. "Would you like to-to play with me?"
"Williams had begun to get a hard on. I could see it starting to push out his pants in front. It just made me want to see his naked prick more than ever. I lay back on the bed and let my skirt pull up higher, so he could see more of my pussy. Williams walked over to the bed as if he were walking in his sleep. He was scared, and his eyes were wide again. He looked into my face for about the first time, and he whined, 'Miss Jill, you're going to get me in bad trouble. You've got to go. I don't want no playing, and no trouble. Please, Miss Jill-please go now.'
"I laughed at the idea of a big, black giant like Williams being afraid of a small girl like me. I said, 'I won't tell, Williams. Come on- suck me!'
"He began to shake. He backed off a little. He was really afraid. I was hot for him to suck me, and I began to get mad at him. I half sat up and snarled at him, 'If you don't, I will tell my father that you tried to fuck me!' Then he really got scared. He walked over to the bed and got down on his knees, with my legs spread out on either side of him. He just leaned forward and spread the lips of my cunt with his fingers, and then he began to lick and suck and tickle my clit with his pink tongue. I propped myself up so I could watch him. I got a kick out of seeing that black skin so close to mine, and that pink tongue digging in and out of my pussy. And he was giving me a real tongue job. I came awfully quick, and I lay back and just enjoyed it. He kept right on licking and sucking, and pretty soon I was going again. He had unzipped his pants and had his cock in his hand, and he was jerking the hell out of it.
"I pushed his mouth away from my cunt and said, 'Let me suck yours, Williams.' He stood up, and he had a wild look on his face. His big, round, black cock was standing stiff and proud, and I slid down to the edge of the bed and took it in my hand and began to suck it. I noticed that by looking sideways a little I could see us in the dresser mirror. He noticed what I was doing and looked, too. He kept looking down at my white skin, gulping in his big black prick, and at the end, when he was starting to come, he grabbed my head and shoved his prick harder and harder into my mouth. He shot a big load into my mouth, and I swallowed it and kept on licking his prick until every drop of white jism was gone.
"His cock began to go flabby again, and he stood there, not knowing what to say or do. I smiled up at him and said, 'We can have a lot of fun, Williams, from now on.'
"He didn't say anything. He had that scared look on his face again. I got up, and he seemed to be in a daze. He stuffed his cock back into his pants and zipped them up. I walked to the door. I liked the feeling it gave me to have a man completely in my hand-so I could make him do anything. I called, 'See you later,' and went out. I went out to the playhouse and masturbated a lot, thinking of Mort and of Williams.
"Next morning, Williams had gone. My father was mad and my mother was, too. I remember my father ranting. 'No nigger can be trusted. You take a jailbird and give him a fresh start, and that's how they act.' I learned later that Williams had been in prison for a robbery, but at that time I just was angry because I had lost a good sucker and licker.
"Then Carter came to work for us. I told you about him before. He was the first one to really fuck me, when I was twelve.
"I've had a lot of men since then, all kinds of ways. They always do what I tell them to, because they want to fuck and suck even more than I do. One day, I'll get out of here and then I'll be able to do whatever I want. I may just run away. I don't like sex with girls or women. It isn't any good for me. I like men."
When Jill was discovered performing fellatio on an older man-a teacher at school-the matter of her sexual escapades was taken out of the hands of her parents. This may be fortunate for her, although she is a rebellious, angry child of twelve who manages to give the authorities in the school for delinquent girls, where she was sent by a judge, a bad time almost around the clock.
As she indicated, she has already been introduced to lesbian sex. That the restrictions of such an institution as she is in can materially help her is doubtful, for there is only one psychiatrist to handle more than 200 girls, and his visits are confined to three mornings each week!
Chances are that when she does "run away" or is released, Jill will take her place as a leader in the teenage sex jungles that spring up in almost every community today. If her parents do regain custody of her, it is extremely doubtful that the atmosphere of their home will do anything to make a wholesome, sexually adjusted girl of Jill. There is only one hope, according to her psychiatrist, and that hope lies within Jill's own heart. If she truly wants to assume a normal, happy life, she has the means to do it, through her parents, if it calls for extended care and psychotherapy. But the desire must be there and must be acted on.
As she matures, Jill may long for a more normal sex life. If so, she can make it. It is the sincere hope of this writer that this child will find the desire, and will one day become a fine, productive, contributing member of society-and perhaps even influence this society for good, even though it is this same social structure that has, to a great degree, made Jill what she is.
CHAPTER THREE: THE SUBTEEN BISEXUAL
"I don't really remember my mother and father. I was only four when they were killed, and I was put into the orphanage soon after that. It was all right when I was small, because I didn't know any different. I guess there wasn't much attention or affection, with more than 200 kids in the place. There never seemed to be enough of anything to go around, and that went for love or caring.
"I know that I felt all alone. I used to cry myself to sleep, unless the night matron came in and bawled me out, and then I would bury my head under the pillow to muffle my sobbing.
"I don't know when I began to get the attention I always wanted. I think I was almost ten. Then, all at once, one of the men who used to I work in the yard-mowing the lawns, planting and tending flowers-began to take an interest in me. I can remember clearly how it happened. I saw him planting some seeds, and it interested me. We were studying nature and animals in school, and I wanted to see how a seed was planted, then grew. He was on his knees, and he smiled when I walked down the row of little hills he'd already made.
"I squatted down, and I suppose my legs were spread, and I had forgotten that I had a big hole in the crotch of my panties. He could see my spread slit real easy, and I noticed his eyes coming back to stare at it, every few seconds while we talked.
"He was nice. He explained to me how the sun and the water made the seed blossom, and he even asked me if I'd like to plant some. When I started to, he reached across and put his fingers into my pussy! It made me jump, but it gave me a tickle, too, so I didn't try to move away. He said, 'Do you like that, honey?' I just nodded, and pretended to be planting seeds, so he kept on shoving his finger in deeper until he touched my little love-mound.
"When he began to rub it, I guess I gasped, and I moved closer to him so he could do it some more. But he looked up toward the big building and stopped doing it. I looked and saw that some of the other girls were out on the lawn and were looking our way.
"He stood up, and he was smiling. 'That was fun, wasn't it?' he asked. I nodded and smiled back. It was so new to me to have anyone interested in just me, to talk to me that way.
"He said, 'Why don't you meet me in the tool shed, and I'll show you a lot of other ways to have fun.' I was still feeling the tingle inside my pussy, so I said I would. He told me to put my books away-school was over for the day- and then to come down to the tool shed when nobody was looking. 'It'll just be our secret,' he said.
"I went to the big building and put my books away. Then I went out the back door. The tool shed was behind the garages, and you couldn't see it from the house-that's what we all called the big building where we ate and slept, the house.
"Nobody was watching, and I had almost an hour before dinner time, so I went around to the tool shed and walked in. It was sort of dim inside, but I could see that he was waiting. He had unzipped his blue denim trousers, and I saw that he had his cock in his hand. I'd seen a boy's thing before, but not up close like that. It was stiff and it stood straight up, and he was rubbing it up and down with his one hand around it. Almost without thinking, I reached out and touched it. It was hot, and it seemed to jump a little when I put my hand on the head of it.
"He let go of his dink, reached out, and put his hand between my legs. It felt even better this time, because I was getting excited about having his big prick in my hand. I began to jerk it like he had been doing, and he began to rub my knob again. I began to feel all hot and tingly down there. After a minute, he stopped and pulled my panties down. I stepped out of them, and he took my hand off his prick and picked me up in his arms. He began to kiss my mouth, and he pried my lips open with his tongue. When they were wide open, he began to stick his tongue inside my mouth, and I used mine to meet his. It was like we 'played tag' with our tongues, and it made me feel awfully hot between my legs.
"He laid me down on a pile of burlap bags that were stacked in a corner. I lay back and spread my legs. I wanted him to do more things to me that felt as good as his fingers had. He got down on his knees and spread my legs. Then he began to kiss the inside of my legs, up high, near my pussy. He came higher and higher, and finally he spread the lips of my pussy with his fingers and he stuck his tongue in-hard! When it touched my knob, I bucked with excitement. It felt wonderful. He kept on going in deeper, running his tongue over my knob so that it began to throb. I never wanted him to stop! He began to do it faster, and I bucked and reared my ass to keep up with him. After a minute or so, I felt a strange, hot, exciting feeling spread from my knob to my whole stomach and even into my legs and fanny! I know now that it was my first 'come,' but all I knew then was that I almost fainted from the excitement it drove through my body.
"He took his mouth away, and I saw his cock bobbing up and down as he stood up. 'Will you do it for me?' he asked, holding it by the base, aiming it at my mouth. I was fascinated by it, and I was so happy at what he had done for me that I wanted to make him feel good, too. I reached out and took it in my hand, and he moved in closer to me, so that its head was almost touching my lips. I kissed the tip of it first, then I opened my lips and teeth wider. I remembered how good it had felt when he had shoved his tongue into my mouth and I wondered if this would feel even better-it was so big and stiff and hot!
"I began to let it go deeper and deeper, and I sucked on it. He began to moan, and he grabbed the back of my head and began to pull me even closer. His prick was going deep into my throat, and I was afraid it would choke me, but I wanted him to have that good feeling, too, so I kept on sucking. Then he started to push it into my mouth real fast, and I could feel it throb in my mouth. All at once, a big squirt of hot juice shot into my mouth! It surprised me, but all I could do was swallow it. It tasted salty, and was a little sticky, but it wasn't bad at all. I felt his prick jerking in funny little jumps, and then he took it out of my mouth. He leaned forward and kissed me, sticking his tongue into my mouth again and running it all over the inside of my mouth.
"His name was Harold, he told me later, and he played with my cunt some more until I got a pretty good feeling. Then he put my panties back on and said that we would do it again real soon-and 'maybe some other good things.'
"I got so I met Harold almost every day at that time, and we always had a lot of fun, playing with each other and sucking and rubbing. Once, he tried to shove his big cock between the lips of my pussy, but I screamed-I couldn't help it, it hurt so, so he stopped.
"I wanted to tell some of the other girls, my friends, about Harold, but I was afraid if I did he'd like them better than he did me, and then I wouldn't get to have any fun with him anymore. I used to play with myself when I went to bed at night. I would think about his tongue and his fingers, and how his cock felt inside my mouth, shooting hot juice into it, and I would have sort of the same feeling I had when he sucked my cunt.
"Then we got caught. One of the older girls had been fooling around with me, making strange remarks and always trying to get me alone. I didn't know that she was a lesbian, or even what a lesbian was, but there was something about her that I just didn't like. She had a rough voice and acted like most boys do-loud talk, big laugh, always slapping the other girls on the fanny and, sometimes, goosing them.
"Anyhow, Lucy must have seen us going into the shed, and she followed. When we had our clothes off, she walked in. Usually, Harold locked the door, but he forgot this time, and there we were, half naked, with Harold sucking my pussy and me with his cock in my mouth. We had learned that the 'sixty-nine' way was best when we didn't have much time, because we could both work on each other at the same time.
"Lucy just stood there, grinning at us. She knew she had a big whip, and she almost seemed to puff up with her own importance. Harold tried to bluff. He got up and scrambled into his pants and glared at her. He snarled, 'What are you doing here? I'm going to report you. You don't belong here!'
"Lucy kept on grinning, and then she pointed a finger at Harold's chest and moved forward until she was tapping with her finger every word she spoke. 'You're not reporting anybody, big shit,' she ground out. 'In fact, if you don't put your clothes on and walk out and never come back, I'll guarantee you you'll go to jail for a nice long time. Now scram, you punk bastard!'
"She sure had guts. I was shivering, I was so scared of what she could do to me. But I still didn't think it had anything to do with sex. Harold got all dressed and started out the door, then stopped and addressed me. 'Listen, Cora, don't let this goddamn queer get her hooks into you. She's fucked up every girl she hooked up with. Listen to me. Tell her to go fuck herself!'
"He left, and I still didn't know what he meant. All I knew was that I could really get screwed up if Lucy told the matrons and the headman about me and Harold.
"Lucy walked over as I was picking up my panties. She grabbed them from me and held them behind her back. I could see her eyes running up and down my body, and it made me more scared than ever.
"So you like your cunt sucked, huh?" she gloated. "Well, you haven't seen nothing yet. Lay down!" I was too scared to even react, and she screamed it the second time: "Lay your ass down, you little fucker, and I'll show you how a cunt should be sucked!" I dropped to the pile of bags, and she pushed me back so I was lying down all the way. She spread my legs and stared at my pussy. "No hair yet!" she gurgled. "I like 'em tender. At least I can get your cherry with a real woman on the sucking end!"
"She lay down so her head was between my legs, and she dug into my pussy with her fingernails, opening the lips wide. It hurt a little, but at the same time I was getting a funny kind of a thrill from it. It was different than with Harold, but it still gave me the tingles between my legs, and I was curious to know how it would feel if she licked and sucked it, like Harold had.
"She let me know in a hurry. She acted as if she was going to stick her head inside my pussy, the way she dived at me. She used her teeth on my knob-Harold had only nibbled it with his lips, but Lucy was really biting me. With the finger of one hand she was penetrating deep up inside my cunt, and with the other hand, under my bottom, she was shoving one of her fingers up my asshole!
"It gave me a brand new kick. Harold had licked it a couple of times, but he had never shoved his finger up into my hole. Lucy acted like a starving animal. She just ate my cunt! And, all the while, she was running her finger deep into my pussy, touching the innermost parts of it, and at the same time reaming my asshole with one of her long-nailed fingers! I came in less than a minute, and I still wanted more!
"Lucy got up and began to take off her panties. She pulled her skirt off, too, and I had never seen such a thick mat of hair as she had around her cunt! But I could still see the lips and the red, shiny, wet slit, and in a wild, crazy way, it made me hot all over. I wanted to taste her cunt, see what it felt like to nibble on her knob. She walked over and nudged me aside, then lay down on her back, her legs spread wide. I could see that she didn't have a bra on, because the nipples of her titties were shoving against the blouse and I could see them clearly. She noticed me eyeing them, I guess, because she unbuttoned her blouse quickly and let it fall to the side, exposing both her large, melon-like breasts.
"Without even thinking, I reached for the nipple of one. I rolled it around in my fingers, and she gave a little groan and said, 'Please suck on it, doll.' I liked the feel of the soft, cool hill of flesh, and I bent forward and took the nipple in my mouth, sucking it and massaging the other breast with my other hand. It seemed that every move I made just made the both of us that much hotter. I was tingling all over, and it didn't even dawn on me that I was with another female. Honest-all I wanted was sex-kissing and rubbing and licking, and I was getting it in big doses.
"I moved over and sucked her other tit for a time, meanwhile rubbing my pussy lips against one of-Lucy's legs, warming it up and getting wetter and hotter by the minute.
"Lucy reached up and gently pushed me away from her breast. She kept on pushing my head lower on her body. I knew what she wanted, and I wanted to give it to her. I used my fingers to spread her cunt lips, and I looked at her wide-open slit. It was a funny feeling, being that close and smelling and tasting her pussy. It smelled clean, but strange. The smell of it got me more excited than ever, and in a few seconds I just plunged my tongue into her cunt and began to suck and lick it. I remembered what she had done, so I ran one finger up inside her cunt until I could feel the inner walls, and then I slid the other hand under her ass and found her asshole with one of my fingers. I did everything the same way she had done it to me, and I could tell by the way she was rolling around and moaning that it was making her feel good. She began to move faster, raising her hips to meet my thrusting tongue, and I knew that she was going to come.
"When she did, I think I was surprised that no hot juice shot into my mouth. I think I had always assumed that a woman shot a load of come, the same as a man. But I knew she was having the same thrills I did, because she grabbed my head and kept pushing it hard, so my tongue would slide inside her deeper. I could feel her clit jumping around, and I knew when it stopped that Lucy had come.
"I learned later that Harold had really been scared off by Lucy. He didn't come to work next day, and I never saw him again.
"For a long time, I had sex almost every day with Lucy. She was a jealous bitch. She would get mad if she even saw me talking with any of the older girls-Lucy was seventeen. She'd been in the home since she was eleven and had never once been looked over by people wanting to adopt a child. She used to talk to me, and I could see that all those years of not being even 'looked over' had made her hard and, in a way, cruel.
"We had lots of chances for sex, because the older girls all had chores to do, and they supervised the new girls and the younger ones.
"I don't know how it would have turned out, because I realized all of a sudden that I really didn't like sex with another girl. Not that I thought it was wrong-but I kept remembering Harold, and how good it had been when I would play with his cock and get it hard before sucking him off. I was sorry a million times that I had been such a baby the day he tried to put it inside my cunt, and the more I thought about it the more I wanted to be fucked!
"Then the people came to see me. Their names were Calvin-Eve and Charles. Eve told me later that they had both decided on me because I looked so much like she did-the same color eyes, hair, and skin shade, and even my mouth was a lot like hers.
"It took about three weeks before they could come and get me. I guess I was glad when ,they did. I knew I was going to miss Lucy and some of the others I had become pretty friendly with, but the headman took me into his office and told me that the Calvin's were fine people. He said I'd have a real home, and that I should be polite and helpful. He said they would check on me every few weeks for the first year, and that if I had any problems I should tell the visiting welfare worker about them.
"It was strange to have a room to myself, and the house seemed so quiet, especially at mealtime and bedtime. The girls had always had a lot of fun those times, and the Calvin's were quiet people anyhow. He was a carpenter, and Eve had always wanted a baby, but could never have one. They were already too old, and the caseworker told them in front of me that they were fortunate to have gotten me because, usually, they liked to place kids in a home with younger parents, and with kids of their own. I guess it was less lonely for an adopted kid of other young ones were around.
"I wasn't lonely. The first couple of weeks were exciting because there were so many new and interesting things to do. I entered public school. I bought a lot of new clothes. I had a small portable radio in my own bedroom, and life looked pretty good to me. I was twelve, and I remembered how many of the girls at the home were seventeen and even eighteen, and nobody had ever adopted them.
"But then I began to miss Lucy-and Harold. I began to masturbate a lot, but it wasn't the same. I knew that I wanted to have somebody play with me, suck my pussy, make me feel hot and good all over, and I was too shy to make friends at school, especially with any boy. And I knew somehow that I wanted a man to do those things for me-not a boy, nor a girl or woman. I wanted to feel a man's prick inside me! I wanted to be fucked, because that's how grown-ups did it, and I was beginning to feel like a grown-up. I started to menstruate, and, after that began, I seemed to get hot for some sex more often.
"Charles Calvin was about fifty, and he had gray hair, but a young face. He was always smiling and happy, and he talked softly and made a lot of jokes. He made me feel at home all the time. Eve was all right, but-well, she treated me as if I were a tiny child. Charles talked to me as if I were an adult. I began to feel close to him, and I guess he felt the same way because we always kissed when he went to work and when he came home, and, if Eve wasn't watching, he would put his hand on my breast or my fanny. This used to get me worked up, and one time, when he had his hand on my ass, I stuck my tongue deep into his mouth! I felt him jump and start to pull away, but he couldn't help himself, so he hugged me real tight with both arms and we sucked tongues for a couple of minutes.
"After that, I used to masturbate, and I'd dream of how it was going to be when I got Charles to fuck me and suck my cunt! I began to work hard at it, and I decided that when Eve went to Alabama for her family reunion, I would make it work. I had to! I couldn't go on masturbating all my life. I was getting wild to feel Charles's prick in my mouth and up my cunt!
"Charles was a boss carpenter, was working on a big housing-development project, and couldn't go to the reunion with Eve. Also, I was in school, and they didn't want me to miss any time.
"I think that Charles and I knew all along that we were going to fuck each other when she was gone, because the last few days before she left, our kisses got sloppier and hotter, and Charles used to rub my breast and my cunt through my clothes, and we were both building a big fire that had to be fed pretty soon. We couldn't even wait a day. Eve left on a Saturday morning, and when we were driving home from the airport Charles kept putting his arm around me and squeezing my breast. Once in a while I would reach over and rub his cock. It was bulging something fierce under his pants, and when I would rub it I could feel it jump. I could hardly wait to get it in my mouth, and then feel it inside my pussy-hard and deep and hot!"
That was Cora M. speaking. Her words have been taken verbatim from taped sessions with psychiatrists who are connected with the institution where she resides. Cora is a typical example of many unfortunate children who are placed for adoption following the death of the parents.
Probably few outside of the network of institutions realize that the so-called "sex revolution" that is sweeping the country today, especially among the young, has always been an integral part of orphanages, mental institutions and prisons, as well as reform schools.
Sex has always been the bartering media of females, and it is a rare woman who has been confined in an institution for any length of time who has not been approached or has not taken part in lesbian activities.
Most states, insofar as possible, try to staff female institutions with all-female staffs to obviate the chance or rape or seduction taking place. This does not, however, eliminate the lesbian activities, no matter how carefully staff members are screened. Often, the girls them-selves initiate the action.
For many decades it was believed that in our society there were hordes of "dirty old men" who could only find sexual gratification in the molestation or seduction of little girls. There had never been any argument that young children, male and female, should be protected from the depravations of such sex weirdo's. Severe punishment has been meted out to aging sex offenders of this ilk, and rightfully so. However, little, if any, investigation into the part that the young girl has played in such instances has ever been undertaken. It was simply a matter of "I accuse!" and, automatically, the guilt was laid at the door of the older person. This was primarily a hangover from the legal acceptance (or non-acceptance) of the child as an "infant." In the eyes of the law, even if the young girl is a proven slut, she is not responsible for her actions, presumably because she has not the intelligence required to make decisions of any sort.
In the past two decades, however, the legal profession, and society as a whole, has taken a closer look at these young sexpots, and has been shocked awake at the avarice and the vicious-ness of the aggressive young "Lolita's."
Much psychiatric investigation has gone into determining the motivations behind the acts of the "dirty old men," but it is only recently that psychiatry and medicine, as well as sociology and behavioral researchers, have turned their searchlights on the motivations and the patterns of conduct that now strongly pervade the very young of America.
There are no easy answers simply because there is no "normal" behavior for sub teenagers. Each young girl who engages in sex for profit, for kicks, or because she cannot help her inner compulsions, is entirely different. Yet, slowly, a thread of sameness is traceable through the many case histories that have been compiled.
A few years ago, America was shocked by the book, stage play, and movie, The Bad Seed, in which a young girl proved to be a vicious killer and a very adept liar and convincing actress who bilked adults of all ages.
However, if we were honest with ourselves, we need only to have looked at the attitudes and actions of our own children-or of ourselves as children, for that matter.
Most children are cruel, selfish, demanding, adept liars, and they are also very much aware of sex. Kinsey and other researchers have divulged the fact that, without doubt, almost every child masturbates at an early age. Medical men and psychiatrists have now laid to rest the "grandmother's tales" that masturbation is harmful to the emotions, the body or the psyche of an individual, so long as it does not eventually take the place of normal sex outlets.
We must not point an accusing finger at the perverted acts of older persons alone, when we reveal thousands of subteen and early teenage pregnancies. It is also obvious that there is no fabled Pied Piper of sex or of drugs who leads our children into these activities. Rather, the urge (which has been present since birth) has been allowed to run rampant by our society, with the majority of the blame belonging to the parents who have fostered the deterioration of the home.
A little known or studied fact of this subteen sex revolution is this: gradually, as we have become an urban nation and moved away from the isolation of close family and small community influence, the incidence of incest has shrunk noticeably. This simply means that not only the parents are now afforded a wider circle of sex objects and outlets, but that the children are taking their place in a permissive society at a much earlier age, and their targets may range from seven-year-olds, who once experimented almost innocently in sex games, to sex objects who are in their sixties.
That a young, nubile, virginal girl is attractive to older men is a fact that has been established throughout the history of man. There are no simple answers to this factual problem, nor do we pretend to offer solutions. We can only report, and judge as best we can, from the actual words of the participants, what inner forces drive them to perform sex acts at an age at which we naively believe they should be playing with dolls or jacks. That much of their sex behavior is patterned after that of their parents is undeniable, yet, a great deal of the sex drive in each of us is there from birth, dormant and potent, awaiting only the triggering of a visual contact with sex, or an actual encounter with another person who arouses sex desires in us.
We do know, through psychiatric revelations, that most young boys have a "mother fixation," while young girls have a "father fixation." This means that seduction by older women and men is relatively easy, because the child attaches this image to most all older persons of the opposite sex, and this fixation engenders "trust." The young girl, for instance, feels that she can trust the older man to lead her into pleasures that will not be harmful to her.
That our youngsters' blunt approach to and participation in sexual activities is new, is a fallacy-a "burying of our heads in the sand." Human nature has always been as it is today. The difference is in our open, frank-even defiant-approach to sex, at all ages: Once, such instances as we are discussing, that took place between young girls and older men, were hushed up because of a fear of shameful scandal that would attach itself to the girl. Incest is hard to trace in our past history, for the reason that few families, no matter how shocked or offended they might be, cared to air the fact that there had been incestuous relations between members of the close family. However, we can see this pattern clearly in the lives of prominent rulers throughout history, because they were in the spotlight and it was almost impossible to cover their true sexual activities.
Today, we are entering into an age where we hardly have to dig to find the facts. In almost open defiance and a strange sort of "pride," our young people engage in overt acts of sexual encounter. It is as if they were daring us to call them "wrong," for they can easily point a finger tarred with the same filth at members of their own family and of the community.
The youngsters feel that they are completely justified in following the dictates of their sexual appetites and in "falling in line" with all the friends they know. It is widespread, this promiscuity among pre-teenagers. It has always been, but it has been hidden in haymows, behind barns, in secluded woodland glades, and in musty attics, for many generations.
Today's styles of clothing and makeup for youngsters make millions of dollars yearly by recognition of the fact that these junior misses inwardly want to show their bodies in as feminine and alluring a manner as is possible. They use makeup in an effort to appear more womanly, and thus lure older males into sex acts that women indulge in. The bra manufacturers manufacture brassieres (padded) that will make a 28-inch bust look like a nicely rounded size 34! The miniskirts show off the thighs and the crotch in many instances, and in spite of the hypocritical yells of many older persons such styles can only come into popularity because the majority of the people-male and female-want them!
To return to Cora, and her unfortunate sisters: such children are removed from the "swim" and they are overly aware of the loss they are suffering. Most institutions such as Cora was in insist on a uniform style of dress (in her case, navy blue skirt, white cotton panties, white blouse, and blue knee-length socks). Yet, magazines reveal how outdated such girls are; movies play up the wide difference; contact with the "outside world" makes it even more obvious that girls in "homes" are inferior, merely because they are not allowed the female adornments and beauty aids that are available to their more fortunate sisters.
In addition, we must consider the human factor of forbiddance and denial. It has been a truism throughout history that what is forbidden or withheld from man becomes more enticing and more worthwhile fighting for. In institutions, for the most part, the very existence of sex is denied, is so covered by hogwash that it is only natural that young minds should question and should seek to find the sex answers for themselves. The natural impulses cannot be denied or smothered or covered with institutional rules or garb. The sexual curiosity, the desire, the wonder and the longing, are still a dominant force in the young girls' lives. They become aware that their bodies are changing into women's. They are equally aware of the attention they now draw from males of all ages. The chemistry of sex begins to work, and desire to experiment is prominently seen in all pre-teenagers.
In Cora's case, the girl had access to male sexual attention, otherwise, had she been subjected to years of lesbian sex, her story might be entirely different.
Cora is a product of this age. Sex is not just a vague word that denotes physical encounter between male and female. It is a way of life! Sex is a big business, and it appeals to each of us, young or old, in one form or another. As the able commentator, Norman Vincent Peale pointed out in an article in a large woman's weekly magazine, "It is not just sex they are selling; sex is used constantly to stimulate the sale of ordinary consumer goods. If Madison Avenue wants to sell a new hair tonic for men, they no longer use the pitch that it will keep your hair well-groomed and healthy. The pitch now is that it will drive women mad with desire for the man who uses their product.
"If a cosmetic company wants to promote a new perfume, it hammers away at the fact that the odor will draw men like honey draws flies!"
Little wonder then, that our young ladies form a huge segment of the buying market, for they are at the stage where their bodies are developing (yet are still awkward and, most of all, untried in the game of allure), and a whole new world is opening to them. For the first time boys treat them with deference. For the first time they are the hunted instead of the huntresses. They feel that they need every appurtenance they can buy or cultivate to assist them in attracting the attention and love and sexual encounters that they long for with every fiber of their being.
Books, television, films-all are laden with titillating sex. It is inescapable, and it has telling influence on young minds. Parents are close loved ones, such as aunts or older sister engage in overt sex acts (or ones that are thinly concealed), and engage in frank discussions of sex, drugs, infidelity, homosexualism and lesbianism-all subjects that were taboo for centuries.
The new dances are highly conducive to sexual excitement in the youngsters. In gyrating to such as the Frug, Swim, Crawl, etc., the young female is emphasizing the eroticism of some parts of her body as she thrusts her pelvic area forward, thrusts her breasts outward, shakes her bosom and her behind-in short, she is performing an erotic dance such as women have done for centuries to arouse a male. And she does arouse a male, in almost every instance. She is presenting her body as a "treat" to be had for the asking, and she is not about to back off when there are takers of her offer.
Of course, this indulgence in sexual activities and full participation is dynamite, for, although the girl is physically able to cope with the situation, she is nowhere near being an emotionally stable adult woman, and here is where the seeds of trouble flourish.
The early patterns remain, for the most part, even though some adjustment may be later made, and when a young girl such as Cora becomes involved with a mature man in her first sex encounters, she is certain to desire an older partner for the remainder of her youth-often, far into her womanhood.
Thus, we see a little girl who is finally adopted by a fine couple, but who has within her the seeds of disaster because of her sex appetites. We shall let Cora continue her account of her seduction of her foster father.
"By the time Charles and I got home from the airport, we were both trembling with excitement. His prick was a big bulge in his pants, and I could feel my pussy almost dripping wetness with wanting to kiss and fuck Charles. We hadn't said much on the way home, but we knew what the other one was thinking, all right. My nipples were hard and erect, and I was sweating all over, I wanted it so bad.
"We stopped in the garage after we got out of the car, almost as if to make sure that we were going to go all the way this time. We kissed deep, tongue-chasing kisses, and I felt his cock through his pants, and Charles put his hand between my legs and rubbed my pussy lips. I got so worked up that I unzipped his pants, took out his throbbing, hard prick and teased the head of it with my tongue. He was getting too shaky to wait any longer, so he picked me up and carried me in the house. His hand was on my ass cheeks and he kept kissing me until he put me down on my bed.
"He began to undress me, and each time he'd take off a piece of clothing he would kiss my bare flesh. When he finally took off my panties, my pussy was wet and hot, and he licked it good while I helped him get his clothes off. When he was stark naked, and I was too, he just lay beside me and looked at my body. I was so eager for him to touch me and kiss me and then fuck me that I was squirming and rubbing my legs together to stimulate my pussy. I just wanted to do everything I could think of-suck his cock, his nipples, lick his asshole, play with his ball-everything that would excite him.
"I couldn't wait, so I slid down and began to kiss and suck the nipples of his chest. At the same time I was running my hands up and down his stiff prick and massaging his balls. I could tell by the way he was jumping around and moaning that he was getting all worked up. I could feel his prick throbbing when I touched it with my tongue, and I was really ready. It was so different with Charles, because I really loved him. He had been so good to me in the weeks that I had lived with him that I felt almost as I would if he had been my real father.
"I was glad, in a way, that he wasn't really my father, because I might have felt that it was all wrong $o be having sex with him, but since he wasn't, and we both loved and wanted each other, it seemed all right.
"Not that either of us was thinking about that once we were naked, but I've thought about it a lot since then and I don't know if I could have been that way with my real father-or if he would have wanted to, for that matter.
"Charles tried to push me away a couple of time and I knew it was because he was starting to come in my mouth. He didn't know that I liked it and was having almost as much of a thrill out of it as he was.
"When he did shoot into my mouth, it was a big load and I had to swallow fast to keep from choking. I didn't want him to lose his hard, so I kept on sucking his cock. I watched his face as he propped himself up and looked at his cock going in and out of my mouth. He was anxious to get to me, but, at the same time, he was too carried away with what I was doing. He looked a little embarrassed, too, and I stopped for a second and told him, 'Don't worry, Charles-I like to do it.'
"But he only let me suck him until he was partly hard again. Then he pushed me away and moved my body so that I was upside down, on top of him, with his cock real close to my face. He spread my legs and moved me so that his face was close to my cunt, and he began to play with it with his fingers and his mouth, while I went on sucking him off.
"I had done this before, but not with someone like Charles. All he was interested in was making me come better than I ever had, even though he didn't know that I had come many times. I guess he sensed it from the way I acted. I knew what to do by then, and I teased his cock with my tongue and lips, nibbling at it a little, sucking it, licking it up and down the shaft, and then taking it deep into my mouth with deep, sucking strokes.
"I was feeling different, too. Charles was really making every effort to touch every part of my pussy with his fingers and with his tongue. He was also using his finger on my asshole, and it was a wonderful feeling. I felt that my whole body was being loved, because I felt that good feeling spread all over my body-not just the lower part.
"Charles came in my mouth, and I just kept on sucking his prick. He went soft for a while, but I brought it back up again. When I came, it was so good that I almost thought I would faint from the fire that spread through me. I just had to change positions so that I was face to face with him, so he could put his arms around me and kiss me. Nobody ever kissed me like Charles. He used his lips and tongue on my ears, neck, eyes, and throat, then moved them to my breasts and my stomach. By the time he had finished kissing me, I was so hot to have his cock inside me that I knew it wouldn't hurt, My cunt felt as big as a circus tent, and it ached for his prick. I could feel it pressing against my stomach and in between my thighs as he kissed me, and when I couldn't stand it any longer, I had to ask-almost beg, 'Please fuck me--please put it all in me and fuck me.'
"There was no awkwardness between us now, and he pressed his lips against mine and I sucked his tongue. We stayed that way while he positioned himself between my legs and took his prick in one hand. He used the other hand to spread the lips of my pussy. I was all wet and even his fingers on my cunt lips sent shivers up my body. When I felt the head of it go inside me, I threw my arms around his neck and spread my legs wide. I lifted my fanny up and tried to wrap my legs around his body, but I couldn't quite make it. He raised up and grabbed my ass cheeks and pulled me close. I was spread wide open and I raised my head just a little so I could see his wonderful cock going into my cunt -the first man that had ever had it in me!
"I guess I could have almost come at any time I had wanted to, but I wanted to wait for him. I wanted Charles and myself to have that big moment together-the moment I lost my cherry!
"He made slow strokes at first, so he wouldn't hurt me, and each one rubbed his cock against my knob, then I could feel it touch the inside walls-deep and exciting. It was a new and wonderful feeling to know that I had a grown man's prick all the way inside me, and that I was pleasing him, thrilling him like any woman was able to. I felt big-I don't mean grown up-I mean-important. I felt I was a real person-a woman-a lover!
"As it began to slip in and out easily, Charles increased the speed of his lunges, and I reared my ass to meet his thrusts. He had been supporting himself on his outstretched arms, like he liked to look down and see his cock going into my pussy, too. But at the last, when we were both coming, he let his weight down on me so he could kiss my mouth and eyes. He was shaking and sweating and mumbling love things to me. Then I felt that wonderful feeling begin. It started with my knob, and it spread all the way over my body like a big hot wave. At the same instant I felt the first spurt of Charles's jism inside my cunt. It added to my thrill, and for the next few seconds neither of us had to make any effort to keep the motion going. Our bodies took over. We couldn't have stopped if we had tried, and when the last little shiver had my pussy, and Charles lay still, kissing my mouth, his cock slowly going soft inside me, I felt that I must be in heaven. Nothing on earth could be that good again-unless it was Charles again.
"We finished by sucking each other off again, in the sixty-nine position, and then we took a shower together, playing with each other, laughing, having a lot of fun.
"Eve was gone four days, and during that time, we must have screwed and sucked at least twenty-five times. I got a big kick one night when we were in the middle of sucking each other and the phone rang. It was Eve, and while Charles talked to her, telling her that everything was fine (we were in his bedroom, and there was an extension there), I kept on sucking his prick! The look on his face when he was talking made me want to laugh. He didn't want me to stop, but he couldn't concentrate on what he was saying. Just as he was about to hang up, I made him come, and when he said good-bye to his wife, he was panting and sweating, bucking up and down on the mattress while I sucked him dry of his juices.
"When Eve did get home, we had to be extra careful. We didn't get to do it half as much as we wanted to, but Eve trusted us. She thought it was wonderful that Charles and I had become such 'good friends,' as she called it. She never suspected a thing. We went along like that for months-and then it all ended up on the junk-heap! I got pregnant!
"I found that I was still just a little girl when it happened. All I could do was cry and curse myself. I never blamed Charles, because he had wanted me to start on some birth-control pills he said he could get for me, or he suggested we use a safety when we fucked. I was too selfish. I wanted to feel him-all of his warm, thrilling cock, without any silly rubber covering it up and spoiling it.
"I told Charles first, and he wanted to get me an abortion, but he couldn't make the contacts. When I was almost five weeks overdue on my period, I thought of an idea and he agreed to try it. This one boy at school, who was also a neighbor of ours, was always hanging around the house and asking me to go to the movies with him. So, I finally said yes. Charles took care of the objections that Eve always had-she said I was far too young to be going with boys-and we went out. I knew what I had to do, and it wasn't watch a movie.
"On the way, I snuggled up close to Bill-he was seventeen-and began to fool around. I ran my hands up and down his leg and played with his hair. I even stuck my tongue into his ear, and he began to get hot. I had a miniskirt on, and I made sure that he got a good look at my pussy, because I wasn't wearing any panties. I could see him getting nervous, and after a while he put one hand on my thigh and began to move it up toward my cunt. I leaned over and kissed him on the ear-he had a hard time driving right -and said, 'Let's not go to the movies. Let's go somewhere and neck.'
"Bill looked over at me in a funny way, as if he thought I was bold or was putting him on, but he turned off and headed for a real lonely road up in the mountains. His father had a fishing shack there, and we went to it. He lit lanterns and had a beer. He was afraid to start right away, I guess, because he seemed nervous. I sat close to him, and pretty soon he put his arm around me and began to feel my breast. I wasn't really hot for him but I knew what I had to do. I began to run my fingers over his cock and it began to bulge out his pants real good.
"I didn't know it then, but he was a cherry. He'd never screwed a girl, but he had let one whore suck him off when a bunch of young kids went to Flo's Place. That was a whorehouse in the rough part of town, and everybody knew what it was.
"When his cock was real hard and he began to pinch my nipple, I just kissed him, sticking my tongue into his mouth and telling him that I was 'hot.' I unzipped his pants, and he slid them off; then I lay down on the cot and he got on top of me. He was clumsy, but he finally got it inside my pussy and began to pump. I helped him all I could, and I felt him come in about two minutes. I pretended that I hadn't come (though I had) and told him to keep going. He went soft, so I played with it a little until he was hard again, and then he fucked me the second time and came again.
"Afterwards, I pretended I was crying. I told him I was afraid, because he hadn't used anything, and I didn't want a baby. He was nervous, too, but he kept saying not to worry, that it would be okay. He kissed me real nice when we got home, and I could hardly wait to tell Charles that my plan had worked.
"I waited three more weeks and then went to our family doctor. He knew right away that I was pregnant, and I put on a good act about not wanting to tell who the father was, because I loved him and didn't want him to be hurt.
"Eve was even more upset than we figured she would be. She stormed over to Bill's people, making Charles go along, and told them it had to be his baby because he was the only boy I had ever dated. Bill's mother was nasty. She said I could have screwed a dozen other guys, and she wouldn't hear of us getting married. Bill had to finish high school and college, and nothing was going to stop him. Her idea was to pay for the baby, then have me put it out for adoption. Finally, Eve and Charles agreed to that.
"But it didn't work out that way. Bill wasn't the soft baby that his mother thought. When I was about five months pregnant, he came over one night and told Eve and Charles that he wanted to do the right thing and marry me. It threw me for a loss. I didn't want his life messed up, when it wasn't his fault. When Charles asked me if that was what I wanted to do, I broke out into curses, saying I wouldn't marry him or have him as the father of my child if he were the only boy in the world.
"Bill pleaded, but I ran to my room, and Eve and Charles told him that that was my choice, and it was too important for them to try to interfere. Bill left, finally, and it wasn't until a week later that we learned that he had left home. He went to San Francisco. He joined in with a bunch of real weird hippies, and we heard that he had been twice arrested for fighting with the police over something or other. His father flew up and tried to talk Bill into coming back, but he wouldn't.
"I was ashamed of myself, and when Charles tried to have sex with me, I couldn't. I liked Bill, and I hated to think that I had made a bum out of him-that's what his mother and father called him, a bum.
"I got a hundred dollars from Charles, and I headed for San Francisco. I didn't know it would take me weeks to find Bill, and I was flat broke a long time before I did. I finally lived with some hippies in a condemned tenement in the Haight-Ashbury area, but when I was due to have the baby I had to go to the charity people. They got me into a hospital and notified my mother. I had found Bill, but he didn't want to have anything to do with me. He hated me and blamed me for what he had done to his life, and he was right.
"I got so despondent that I tried to kill myself. Instead, I killed the baby-a little girl that was born dead.
"Eve and Charles cam? up and told me to come on back home, but I couldn't. Instead, when I got out of the hospital, I went to live with an old news-vendor who had a stand near where I had been living. He was nice and used to give me a dollar now and then for eats. I just told him I had no place to stay and he told me I could stay with him.
"He drank a lot, and the first thing I knew I was a lush. I used to drink gin, and I'd knock myself out almost every day. When Joe kicked me out, I just went walking the streets, trying to get men to pay me for sleeping with them. I was arrested twice, but I didn't give my right name. The third time I was pinched for prostitution, the judge sentenced me to a girl's reformatory until I was twenty-one, and he ordered psychiatric treatment for me.
"I'm sixteen, a whore and a drunk-and maybe even a psycho. I suppose I could blame it on the fact that I never had a real start in life, with a home and parents, like most kids, but I saw enough when I was living the hippie way, Almost all of them came from good homes-I even met some of their parents, so that alibi is a lot of horseshit.
"I don't know what I'll be when I'm out. The docs say I'm coming along good, because at least I don't whine or try to blame it ail on other people.
"I hear from Charles once in a while. Eve never writes or visits. Maybe I'll go back with Charles, but that's a long way off, and he may not want me then.
"I hate this place because of the lesbians and the whining broads who blame everybody else for what was their own fault. It was their body-their cunt-wasn't it? And unless it was rape, which I don't think can really happen, then they're in the same boat as me.
"I managed a little sex with a couple of workmen around this joint, but not much, and I can't go the lesbian route. Maybe the docs here can fix me up and straighten me out. I'm trying. Maybe I can make it-who knows?"
Despite Cora's pessimistic attitude, the doctors' prognosis for her is excellent. They point out that she does not feel sorry for herself and that she is cooperating to the fullest extent with them. They feel that when she is released, she will still be a very young woman, and she will be able to take her place among the world of those her own age and will ultimately meet and fall in love with a young man her own age.
Seldom does the "father fixation" that Cora suffers from last through the late teens. The authorities feel that if she had the strength (and she had exhibited it so far) to resist lesbian approaches, Cora will benefit from her psychiatric treatment and emerge as a capable young woman who will quickly be assimilated into the normal, productive, healthy society.
CHAPTER FOUR: TWELVE-YEAR-OLD "PRO"
Lori is colored and comes from a poverty-stricken slum area. There are eight children in her family, and most of them have different fathers. The family has been on welfare for years. It has become a way of life, to be accepted as inevitable as the coming of darkness each day.
We preface this case with this explanation only because authorities feel that Lori is exceptionally typical of the slum child-particularly the girl who learns early that she has a valuable asset in her young, innocent body.
Lori has the unenviable record of being, one of the youngest females in her state ever to be charged with prostitution, although she, and thousands like her, do not consider selling their sexual favors as prostitution. To them, it is just "another job-a way to survive."
How she survived is told vividly in her own words-sometimes childishly simple, at other times as worldly-wise and bitter as those of the most hardened of prostitutes.
"Wintertime was the worst for us. In the summer and spring, we were always hungry, but we weren't cold, too. We could always cool off some by lying on the fire-escape naked, or sometimes the firemen would be nice and would come down and turn on the fire hydrants and let us play in the water. But in the winter, there wasn't enough clothes, and there wasn't heat most of the time.
"Long as I can remember, there was always some man around, eating our food and drinking beer or gin-that's what my mom liked, gin. But they never brought us no food nor any money, and I never liked any of them. Most of them would fool around with me and my sisters-grab our ass or our twat, or goose us. I never paid any attention. I just cussed them so they couldn't hear it, and then got out of their way. They didn't really want us, anyhow-they always slept with my mom.
"But one of them got on top of my older sister one time-I was eight, and I knew what he was doing to her from watching the men that went to bed with my mother. I knew he was shoving his thing up inside her twat, because he was humping his ass up and down, and my sister, Ellie, was moaning and crying-but soft, because he had hit her in the face already when she started to bawl, and she was afraid to cry out loud.
"They never tried anything like that with me-not until after I was eleven, and had titties and a shape to my body.
"But the other men in the neighborhood were different. They grabbed ass too, but they gave us something for it, and they didn't do us no harm. I used to let the man at the liquor store feel my twat, even stick his finger up in it, when I was only seven or so, because he always gave me a nickel or a bottle of pop. He was a black man, but most of the others that ran stores and things were white.
"I don't think I hate white people. They weren't any different to me than black men-no nicer, nor no worse. In fact, most of the white men I let screw around gave me more money than the black ones did, but that was probably because all white men have more money than we do.
"My sister Ellie used to talk to me a lot. She used to tell me not to let those bastards that came to sleep with my mother ever lay a goddamned finger on my body. She told me they were just tramps, bums, and spongers, and even if they promised me money, to not believe them, I didn't understand too much what she was saying when I was real young, but after they started to fool around with my twat, I sort of knew that she was talking about the men that wanted to put their pecker in you.
"The boys at school and around the neighborhood used to grab me once in a while, but I was too skinny and small for them to fool around with much. They never ganged around me like they did with Ellie.
"The first time I ever let anyone do anything except to feel me through my dress was when I was almost ten. I was flat as a board, and I didn't have any shape at all-no breasts or hips or anything. My legs looked like toothpicks, straight up and down, and I sort of knew that boys didn't like me much. I always liked to read, and I got books from the library a lot. I was always careful to get them back on time because I never had any money to pay if I was late with them.
"One day I had three of them that were overdue. The lady said that I owed twenty-seven cents! I never even had that much money in my hand, that I remembered. I was so scared that she would tell me I couldn't get any books anymore, that I began to cry. A man was waiting behind me, and he heard all that went on, and he stepped up and put thirty cents on the counter and said for the lady to take it out of there. He smiled down at me and patted my head and said that anybody my age that liked to read and improve their mind shouldn't be punished if they kept a couple, of books too long. The lady gave me back my library cart and told me to be more careful in the future, but that I could take books out.
"I thanked the man and picked out only one book. I had learned a lesson. At least, I might be able to scrape up three cents if I were a day late.
"When I walked out of the library, it was snowing. I didn't have a coat--just an old sweater that had holes in it, but it helped me keep warm. The man that had given the money for the books was standing there, beside a car that was parked at the curb. He called to me and said, 'I'll give you a ride home, honey. It's pretty cold for walking.' He didn't know that I lived over fifteen blocks away, and I was sure glad he asked me. I had only been in a car a few times, and it was still a treat for me. When I got in the front seat beside him, I was warm right away from the heat coming from somewhere. He had had the car running, I guess, and the heater worked fine.
"He began to talk to me about my school, the kind of books I liked-things like that-and finally I was telling him all about my family-my mother and the men that came, my sisters and brothers. I just ran on and on. I hardly noticed when he put his hand on my leg-up high-and said, 'Poor baby,' because nobody ever listened when I said anything. I guess I was as hungry to talk to somebody as I was for food.
"Pretty soon, he parked the car and left the motor going so the heat would still come out. By that time he had his hand under my dress and up near my thing. I know it gave me a little tingle when he ran his finger inside my panties and touched my twat lips, but I pretended that I didn't even notice. I was having too good a time.
"He moved over closer and put his arm around me, then he took one of my hands and put it on his pecker. I hadn't noticed him open his pants and take it out, and it was hard and standing straight up. I looked at it. It was the first white pecker I'd ever seen. I'd seen my brothers', and of the men who slept with my mom, but I'd never seen a white one.
"It felt good when he rubbed his finger over the lips of my twat, and I began to rub his pecker up and down, holding it tight and moving my hand faster and faster. I could feel his finger going into my slit, and pretty soon he hit a little spot that made me jump and tingle all over. He began to rub it, and I worked faster on his pecker, and, pretty soon, he shot some whitish stuff from the little hole in the end of it. It squirted all over the car, and he grabbed his handkerchief quick and wiped it off. Just about that time I felt a funny feeling begin inside my twat, and in a couple more rubs of his finger, it spread all over me. I didn't know what 'come' meant, but I sure knew it was the nicest feeling I'd ever had.
"He asked me if I had ever had anybody kiss me between the legs, and I shook my head. He asked me if I'd like him to kiss me there, and all I could do was to nod my head 'yes-'
"He crawled over and got on his knees and he moved me and took my panties off. He spread my legs wide, and then he used his fingers to open the lips of my pussy real wide. I could feel his hot breath on my legs and then he stuck his tongue in. I jumped, but it felt so good. He began to lick it, and then he found the right place with his tongue-I know now that it was my clit-and he massaged it with his tongue, up and down, down and up, until I was jumping all around with the hot, good feeling that it gave me. I felt his teeth nibbling at it, and then he just began to suck it, hard and long. He made funny noises when he did, and he was moaning. When I looked down, I saw that he was playing with his prick with one hand and using the other one to shove his finger into my cunt.
"I got that feeling all over again, and a few seconds later he shot some more of the white stuff, only this time he caught it in his other hand and then wiped it on his handkerchief. He zipped up his pants after that and told me to put my panties on. I did, and he started the car and drove toward my street. He let me out a block from my house, and he shoved something into my hand! I didn't know until I got in the light that it was a whole dollar!
"He asked me to meet him at the library on Tuesday at the same time, and I said I would. I fell asleep that night, even though I was cold, with a real warm feeling. It had been so good, having somebody play with my cunt and put their arm around me, and even kiss my pussy! I told him I would meet him and he waved and drove off. I never had to worry about getting out of the house. Nobody cared. Even though there were a lot of us living together, nobody ever thought of anybody but themselves. I know I didn't. I had enough to do to manage to get something to eat once a day, and I was lucky if I could squeeze in between my sisters and brothers on the mattresses we had on the floor. We didn't have much covers, so I used to just squeeze in between two of my sisters or brothers and keep warm from their bodies.
"I hid the dollar in a crack in the bathroom wall, and I never told anybody I had it. Later, little at a time, I spent it for soup at school, or cookies at the corner grocery. One nickel I used to buy a chocolate bar, and it tasted like heaven to me. It seemed like I had found a real fairy godmother. I could have that good feeling in my pussy and have money for letting the man do it to me. I wanted to talk to my sister Ellie, so that she could maybe get some money, too, but I didn't. I was afraid that something would spoil it for me, and I wanted a lot more.
"I met Ted a lot of nights after that, and we played like we had the first time. He would suck my pussy and I'd play with his prick until he shot all over. Sometimes he would just work his finger up inside my cunt while I jerked his pecker, and then he would ask me if I'd like to put his cock in my mouth and suck on it so he could have a good feeling, too, I was afraid it was too big and it would choke me, but one night he took out a dollar and said he would give it to me if I'd just put my lips around the head of it.
"That dollar was all it took. I wasn't afraid of Ted by then, and I knew he wouldn't try to hurt me by choking me with his cock. I remember thinking that if he did, I'd just bite it hard -maybe bite the end of it off! Anyhow, I got on my knees like he did when he sucked my pussy, and I put my hand around the thick pecker, holding it down low. I could see his balls and a lot of hair, and I began to get pretty wet between my legs. I fooled with it a little, and then I stuck my tongue out and washed all around the rim of his pecker. It made Ted jump around, and all at once he grabbed my head at the back and shoved my mouth down over his cock! It scared me at first, but when I began to run my mouth up and down it, over the head, and then licked it, it wasn't bad. He was jumping and pushing my head up and down, and I began to want to make him have that feeling. I didn't even think about the white stuff that shot out, so it surprised me when he did.
"His sticky juice felt like a whole mouthful, so I swallowed most of it. He kept pushing my mouth down so I had to keep swallowing, and after a couple of shudders he took his cock out of my mouth. He was smiling at me, and it made me glad. Anyhow, I had the dollar tucked into my shoe, even if I hadn't liked it.
"Ted went down on me again that time. He used his finger and his tongue, but then, with his other hand, he did something he'd never done before-he ran one finger up my asshole while he was sucking my cunt! It made it seem as if his tongue was going a foot up into my pussy, and I began to wiggle my ass so that he could stick his finger up it easier. I didn't know it then, but he was getting ready to shove his prick up there, and I guess he was sort of seeing just how big my asshole was.
"When I got that feeling real good, he got up and took a little jar of white jelly out of his pocket. We were in the back seat of his car, and he told me to get on my hands and knees, that he wanted to try something different. He said, 'It might hurt a little at first, baby, but don't get scared. I'll get a real good feeling, and after you get used to it you'll like it that way.'
"I would have done anything he asked by that time, so I got on my hands and knees and he positioned himself behind me. I could feel his cock rubbing against the cheeks of my ass, and then he smeared some of that jelly all over my asshole-even up inside it. He put a big gob of it on the head of his cock, and then he began to work the head of it into my asshole. It did hurt some, but it slid in after a few tries. All it felt like was when I had to go to the bathroom to shit real bad. It didn't hurt too much, and he began to pump away, holding me by the hips and pulling me back to meet his thrusts. After it began to slide in and out real good, he reached around and began to massage my clit with his finger, and I began to really like it, I got hot and came, and he just kept on shoving his prick in my asshole, faster and harder. Then I felt a hot stream shooting up inside my shit-hole, and I came again.
"Ted was panting and groaning, and when he had finished with the last little shiver of his cock, he took it out and laid back on the seat, as if he was tired. I knew he'd liked it, though, by the look on his face and the way his cock went all soft right away.
"He gave me two dollars that time, and after that he used to fuck me in the asshole almost every time, after I had sucked him hard or all the way until he shot in my mouth.
"One night after school, we were at his place, in the living room, on the couch, and I was on my knees, sucking his pecker when, all at once, the door opened! I was so scared I began to shiver! It was another white man. He looked about as old as Ted, only he was a lot balder and he had a funny leg-shorter than his other one.
"I didn't know what to do, so I just let go of Ted's cock and scrambled up onto the couch. I started to put my panties back on, but Ted stopped me. He said, 'It's only Fred. He won't hurt you.'
"Fred came limping into the room, staring at the hard cock Ted had waving in front of him, and at my cunt. His eyes sparkled and he chuckled real low. 'You're doin' pretty good, Ted,' he laughed. 'I got to git me some of that stuff. How about it?'
"Ted looked mad for a minute, but then he shrugged and said to Fred, 'I suppose if I don't let you, you'll spread it all over the neighborhood, you old sonofabitch!'
"I knew what they were talking about, and I didn't like the looks of 'Fred.' He looked dirty, and a lot older than Ted-and besides, nobody had said anything about money, or even asked me if I would do it for Fred.
"I pulled my panties on and then my dress. I stood up and talked right to Ted. I said, 'I ain't gonna do it for him. He didn't offer me no money!' They both busted out laughing at that, and I didn't know why.
"Well, baby," Ted said, "if we don't let him have some, he's just liable to tell your mama or tell the police on both of us! We don't want that, do we? Besides, old Freddie will pay-won't you?" He turned and looked at Freddie, and he nodded his head.
"When?" Fred asked. "Now?" He was licking his lips like he was thirsty, and he kept looking at me so funny.
"Ted shrugged and pointed at me. 'Ask Lori.'
"Fred walked over towards me and asked, 'Do you want to now?'
"He reached in his pocket and pulled out a dollar and held it out to me. I looked at Ted, and he nodded, so I took the dollar and shoved it in my shoe with the other money I had. I guess I was feeling light-headed, with all the money I was getting lately, and for something that I liked to do. I remembered that, once, my mom had told me that she had a job scrubbing floors in a big office building, and how hard it was. I knew I would never have to do that kind of work-not as long as men wanted to pay me to have fun with me.
"Ted put one hand on Fred's chest. 'Just a blow job, buddy. No ass fucking. That costs three dollars!' I knew he was making the price higher for Freddie, but I didn't let on. I just took off my dress and panties again and laid down on the couch. Fred unzipped his pants and took out his pecker. It was a lot smaller than Ted's, and it wasn't hard yet. He came over and sat down beside me and began to play with my cunt. All the while, he was jerking his cock to make it get hard.
"Ted laughed and called, "Give her a suck job, too, Fred. That'll really get her warmed up for you."
"Freddie bent over and spread my pussy lips with his fingers and began to lick my twat with his tongue. After a minute or so, he stopped playing with himself and just worked his fingers and his tongue into my cunt. I began to really get hot, and, inside a few seconds, I had a come. When I looked down at his prick, I saw it was stiff and straight, so I leaned over and grabbed it, lying so that Fred could still lick my cunt while I sucked him off.
"He really went at it, too. He acted like he'd never get enough of my pussy in his mouth. He sucked the lips and my clit and all into his mouth. He chewed on it even, and I began to really work on his cock. We both forgot that Ted was watching, but later on I noticed that he was sitting in a chair, jerking off while he watched.
"I had Fred and Ted a lot after that. Later, Fred used to screw me in the ass. He paid me three dollars, and I never let him know that Ted got it for two. That went on for almost a year, and there were a couple of others that I let do it to me, too-not for money-just because I liked them. There was an old colored man that lived in our tenement, and he was blind. I felt sorry for him. I used to read to him from my library books, and one day he began to feel me up. When I saw his cock getting hard, I just unzipped his pants, took it out, and began to suck it. He took a long time to come, and then he sucked my cunt for me until I came. I didn't do it too often with Old Joe, because the others were always after me to do it for them.
"I was almost twelve when I got my first real fuck! Even then, it happened funny, because I didn't want to be fucked-not even by Fred or Ted-but I had to!"
A strange blight has fallen on the country, particularly in the large cites. There are thousands of fatherless families who exist on welfare. For the most part, they must, of necessity, live in ramshackle tenements, with little heat, clothes or food. These families are technically 'fatherless" for a very good reason. If there is a man in the household who is able to work, the welfare funds are cut drastically or eliminated altogether. So, the mother hides" her man, husband or lover, on the days when a welfare worker is scheduled to visit, thus fulfilling the strange laws that govern her livelihood.
That these men are leeches for the most part is undeniable. Often, they are not a father to any of the children in the family, but simply serve as a sex outlet for the harassed mother and drink up a considerable amount of the welfare funds.
If a welfare worker drops in unexpectedly and finds a man there, the woman will use any one of a hundred dodges to explain his presence. He may be the "janitor," there to fix the toilet, or a "neighbor," who just dropped in with a little extra food for the kids. Wedding rings are never seen in such surroundings, for if a woman were to admit to having a husband nearby, her welfare funds would stop.
That this pitiful condition creates a very poor atmosphere in which to raise children is beyond argument. The agencies involved know it, but they can do little. If they relent and look the other way, the woman will usually either give her man welfare money that should be used on her children, or else he will bully it out of her.
The worst aspect of the surrounding circumstances are, of course, the blatant sex episodes that take place almost daily. Because of limited space that may be afforded at such low amounts as the best of welfare agencies allow, the children are usually crowded into a room that is intended for two at the most. Seldom do they have beds enough to go around, and, more often than not, several of the young children must sleep in the same room with the mother, where they are able to see and hear the sex acts taking place.
Little wonder that they come to accept sex as a normal function of survival. Often, they are "broken in" by the man who occupies the mother's bed-as Lori's sister, Ellie, was.
Many programs have been advanced and touted to solve this vicious merry-go-round of chicanery and sexual degradation, but thus far, none have proven satisfactory from a financial or social point of view. The answer might be in a guaranteed annual income, but taxes being what they are, no citizen is willing to overburden himself so that "those goddamned worthless welfare regulars can fuck away my dough." That's the attitude of many, often even of those who are most familiar with the unhealthy and immoral conditions that the welfare program reluctantly imposes.
We who are more fortunate cannot ignore those who are helpless to help themselves and who live in shameful rattraps that are breeding grounds for disease, despair, and sexual promiscuity that approaches utter depravity. There seems to be no answer to the problem of Lori and her kind who grow up (hardly the phrase to use, because most, as she is, are hardened sex-pots long before they approach their puberty or teen years).
Although we have used Lori to illustrate this horrible pit of sex that exists in all our cities, she is a composite of many cases we have culled for information on this subject. In case we ask, "What about the police?" it must be remembered that most of these young girls are hungry, cold, threadbare. To testify against, or even to report men who use their bodies as toys, would be to add to their own misery. Their only dream is one day to "get out of the rat race" they were born into, and the one way that they believe holds any real promise of escape is by selling their bodies.
That the largest percentage of such girls are Negro, Puerto Rican, or Mexican, is no accident. It is simply because they are the minority groups and are the last to be given productive jobs that will allow for the needs of a large family. Another factor is that, in this group, little birth-control information or methods are available, and the circle grows larger each year as more and more illegitimate children are born to slum-dwellers.
As pointed out before, we have no axes to grind, but feel that we serve a good purpose if we can limn and accentuate the dire needs of slum families. That Lori is typical is easily proven by police and welfare records. That she shall continue to be a blot on America is very likely-until a major change is effected.
To return to the sordid story of Lori as she enters into a life of prostitution while only eleven years old, we pick up her account of her sacrifice of her virginity, in the real sense of the words.
That such unfortunate children must "sacrifice" their treasured virtue is shameful. It is usually not taken from them by rapists, but, rather, it is given-merely so that these youngsters can survive in a bitter world of men to whom sex is a commodity to be bought as they might buy a pack of cigarettes.
"There were quite a few men in the neighborhood that seemed to be just waiting for girls to grow up and sprout titties and get hair on their runts. That is the sign that you're ready because, in my world, all the guys think the same way: 'If they're big enough-they're old enough!'
"But I didn't expect to get it from the man that finally did bust my cherry.
"I did real good in school. I think it was because I liked to read books so much. I used to read history and books that were about real people, and it helped me a lot in school. I was always daydreaming about the faraway places I might go to someday, and I'd study about them, too. That helped me in geography. The one thing I couldn't do very well was arithmetic. I always flunked in it, and the teacher began to make me stay after school to get some extra help from him.
"One night after school I just couldn't get one of the problems and he kept getting madder and madder at me. When he hollered at me, I started to bawl. He was sorry right away, and he came to my desk and put his arm around me. When he did, his hand touched my titty. They were getting pretty round and they stuck out a little. When his fingers touched the nipple, he started to pull his hand away, but then he stopped. He began to squeeze it, rolling the nipple around in his fingers. He bent over and kissed my neck-in the back-and it sent shivers up and down me. It felt good to have a nice man like Mr. Evans touch me. He smelled so good-not like Ted or Fred or the other old men. They always smelled of beer or tobacco smoke. But Mr. Evans was different.
"I began to get hot, and without even thinking I turned around and grabbed for his neck and pulled his face down close. I kissed his mouth, and I left my lips open and he stuck his tongue in. We began to kiss each other hard, and he played with my nipple while his other hand went down between my legs.
"We never even stopped. He just picked me up and took me into the cloakroom. He laid me on the floor and took off my panties. Then he took off his pants and shorts, and he got on his knees between my legs and aimed his hard cock at my slit. I wanted it inside me. He was the nicest man I'd ever known, and he was clean and good, and I knew that it would be the best thing that ever happened to me if he fucked me-my very first real fuck!
"I spread my legs wide and he lowered himself onto his elbow, and with his other hand he guided his prick-into my cunt! It sent me to heaven. It was ten times better than a tongue or fingers. I spread my legs as wide as' I could and tried to lock them around his body. He raised my ass by both cheeks and almost pulled me onto his rod! It wasn't as big as some of the others, but it seemed to be all over the inside of my pussy, tickling and thrilling me. I couldn't get close enough to him, or he couldn't put it in deep enough for me. I knew he was coming after a while by the look on his face, and because his plunges were coming faster all the time. I just let myself go, and he controlled my body, and then we went off together!
"It was like something I'd never even dreamed of or imagined, and when he had finished shooting into my cunt, he let his weight down on my body and began to push it in and out some more. I wiggled and moved my ass up to make it go in deeper, and I spread my legs out and let him dig it into the deepest part of my cunt! We came once again, and this time we just collapsed, with his prick soaking in his and my juices. We kissed each other a lot, and he said he loved me. That was the first time any man had ever said that. Come to think of it, it was the first time any human being had ever told me they loved me!
"I didn't want to let him ever take his cock out of me, but I asked him if he wanted me to suck it. He looked sort of surprised, but he drew it out and wiped it on his handkerchief. He laid on his back on the floor, and I took his half-soft prick in my hand and really kissed it. I rimmed the head of it with my tongue, then licked it up and down, and finally I began to plunge it deep into my mouth, sucking and licking and trying to show him that I loved him, too.
"When he shot into my mouth, I really enjoyed swallowing his come. I felt like a woman! I had heard somebody say they loved me.
"We stopped after that-for that night, but there were a lot of other times. I didn't care if Ted or any of the others ever came around again. I liked the money they gave me, but I never felt like I did about Mr. Evans.
"I used to go to his apartment some nights, and sometimes I would stay all night. He loved to kiss and lick my whole body before he would fuck me, and I just loved the touch of his flesh on my mouth. He was a real light coffee color, and he was beautiful. Now, the blacks go around saying 'Black is beautiful!' but I could have told them that a long time ago.
"Then it happened-I stopped menstruating and found I was going to have a baby! I was twelve and going to be a mother. Funny, but it thrilled me to think of having Don's baby. I knew it was his, because I had never fucked anyone else. But he was mad-and scared as hell. He told me he couldn't marry me, that it would spoil his whole teaching career. He was studying nights and summers to get his master's degree in math, so he could teach in college and make good money. I couldn't see why I would make any difference. I didn't ask him to marry me-just to let me nave the baby, but he wouldn't listen.
"I threatened to tell my mother or the welfare worker or the school principal, and he got mad and hit me. He knocked me down and kicked me, and I woke up in a hospital. The baby was gone. I'd had a miscarriage, and later I found out that I had syphilis. I knew I hadn't gotten it from Don-it had to be from those dirty old bastards that had cornholed me and made me suck their pricks! I told the police that it was Ted that had made me pregnant and then beat me up. I didn't want to hurt Don. I knew I had lost him for good, but I had to send him a note and tell him about the syphilis. I hope he started taking treatments for it, that he believed me.
"So-here I am, almost thirteen-with syphilis, in a hospital ward where there are guards outside the door and bars on the window -as if I were a murderer or something.
"I don't know when they'll let me out or what they will do to me. One of the doctors here says that they will probably make me a ward of the state, and put me in some kind of a home for delinquent girls.
"But I'll get out someday, and then I'll find a new way to live. I'll get out of that goddamned flesh jungle I came from. I'll find a man I'll love-like Don-and maybe I'll have babies of my own. That's what I dream about, and that's what I'm going to make come true."
The doctor's prediction came true for Lori. She was pronounced cured and then committed to a girls' home. She is once again a good student, and, at this writing, there seems to be a good chance that Lori will indeed escape the shoddy surroundings from which she sprung. She has a dream and she's willing to work hard for it.
We hope it comes true.
CHAPTER FIVE: THE MAKING OF A "QUEEN"
"So what the hell is so different about me making it with some guys I know and like, from your squares taking on other men's wives at these goddamned 'swap parties'? Or sneaking around to motels or doing it in cars? You've got the rules all made up, baby, so they protect the so-called grownups, but I've got news for you -we ain't buying. We make our own rules. They suit us, and we keep pretty much to ourselves since all the rumbles up around Berdoo and those other horseshit towns.
"Sex is sex, and if you happen to belong to a bunch where that's about all the goddam fuzz can't mess up, it's got to be a big thing. And there ain't near enough females with the guts to break loose from the fucking silly, stupid life they live. Hell, most of them think they're really daring if they smoke a joint now and then, or if they let their boyfriend feel their pussy or even go all the way. Shit! All they'll end up doing is become drab, dull housewives, nailed down to' a crummy apartment and a flock of squalling brats. Not for me, Mac. I'm living, and I'm going to keep on living-our way!
"But I guess you're not interested in a lecture on the philosophy of a bike gang. You want to know 'how come a nice girl like you is mixed up with a bunch of filthy bums like the Saints?' Don't you? Well, maybe I can give you the straight poop-maybe not. I guess I began to want to be part of a group when I was about ten or eleven years old.
"My parents are like most of them-too goddamned busy to take any interest in what's happening to their kids. I've got two older brothers, and they just ran wild when they were kids, like I did. Nothing seemed to matter to my mother and father as long as they had those two fat paychecks coming in every week. My father is a truck driver-he hauls those long loads across county or anywhere he can get a run to. He owns his own semi-that's the cab part that hooks onto anybody's trailer. My mother is a cocktail waitress-at least she calls herself that, and she does sling drinks five nights a week in a crummy joint near our house. But, actually, she's a bigger whore than I am. With my father gone most of the time, she can run around all she pleases and he'd never know. I suppose he gets a piece of ass here and there on his runs, too, so it evens out. Lots of nights, after my mother finishes work at about two-thirty in the morning, she brings guys home. Sometimes she doesn't come home at all. Either way, she sleeps with a different guy almost every night. I don't think they give her money, but I know that some of them buy her clothes or cosmetics -even jewels.
"She just tells the old man, if he bothers to ask, that she bought them out of her wages. She makes pretty good in tips, so he doesn't question it.
"When he was seventeen, my brother Ed bought an old junkheap of a jalopy and souped it up. He used to enter drag races, and he did pretty good. I guess that's where I got my taste for speed, because he used to take me along sometimes. He even let me drive the junkheap once in a while.
"Then he got off the car kick and bought a motorcycle-a big mother that sounded like a jet plane when he took off. I was dying to ride with him, and after he put a passenger seat on it, he used to take me along. But he didn't belong to any gang or club. Ed was a loner, so I didn't hook up with the Saints through him.
"It was funny, in a way, how I did come to join.
"Ed used to run his wheels into a repair and doodad shop near our home. It was called Big Ben's, and it was run by a giant of a man. Ben was about forty, I guess, but he dressed real hippie style. He had a beard and moustache and long hair, and he always wore blue denims, with a death's head sewn on the back of the jacket. He also had a big block letter M on his sleeve, but I didn't know then that it meant he used marihuana. Anyhow, he was accepted by the motorcycle guys, both the regular clubbers and the Wild Ones. Ben rode a cycle, but he never belonged to a group. He always said he was way too busy, keeping the other guys' wheels running. He had gray hair in his beard, but his hair on his head was bright blond. He dyed it, and I suppose he had a lot of gray there, too, because later I found that he had a lot of gray pubic hairs, too.
"I was twelve when I began to hang around the shop-not to try to make it with Ben, but to latch onto one of the real hotshot riders. I always did like speed, and the cycles really turned me on-like a lot of girls can get turned on by rock music, or being felt up. I used to get hot in the crotch just watching and listening to the big mothers roar around a curve, or flat out and hit the top of the needle. That means to let it al! out and hit top speed.
"Most of the guys wouldn't have anything to do with me, because I was so young, but it was partly because my brother was known as a hothead, and he didn't care what he used to deck a guy with-a piece of chain, a wrench or a bottle, anything that was handy. And if he couldn't grab something, Ed would just wade in with feet, fists, and teeth. He'd already put one guy in the hospital, after the guy had said Ed cheated with his Mama. I didn't know what that meant, then, and I was mixed up because I knew that this guy, Ricky something, didn't even have any parents. But I know now what a Mama is, because I've been one for more than two years.
"But I didn't start out with the Saints. I told you before, they thought I was just jailbait and used to slough me off whenever I'd try make the scene with my brother or on my own. But then I got together with Ben. Funny, but that's how I started on kicks-with bennies-that means Benzedrine, and they drive you to talking jags. I think I react to them the same as everyone else does-they make me wide-awake and ready to go, but I've got to talk to somebody when I'm on 'em.
"Ben was different than the others. He paid some attention to me and treated me as if I was old enough to know my way around.
"I had begun to fill out when I turned twelve, and I started to have my monthlies, and to me that meant I was ready to really roll. I was a cherry, although I had had my pussy fingered and sucked by a couple of older joes. One of them was my uncle that I visited up in Salinas once in a while, and the others were guys that hung around with my brother, Ed. They weren't so old, and they didn't know a hell of a lot about sucking or fingering like my uncle did. I think my old lady got wise to what he was doing, though, because after I was eleven, she wouldn't let me go up there and visit anymore. My aunt never knew what was going on because she was sick most of her life and down in bed a lot.
"What I'm saying is, by the time I was beginning to feel like I had a woman's body, I began to get pretty horny, too. Oh, I masturbated a lot, but that wasn't much fun-not after having men suck me off and play with my cunt and asshole.
"I got in the habit of dropping in on Big Ben two or three times a week, and he used to fool around a little-just playing with my nipples and grabbing me by the cunt or the ass once in a while. But he was turning me on and getting me ready, I'll tell you. I wasn't hung up on him or anything, but he was a big motherfucker, and once in a while, when he'd feel my cunt, I could see his big dong shoving against his blue jeans, and it made me wonder just what it would be like to have it in me.
"Then Ben broke me in on, pot. We used to have some pretty high times, just him and me, and I was high on grass the first time I got fucked. Ben had closed up the shop and we went to his pad. He lived in a three-room joint up over the shop and he had it all fixed up groovy. Stereo, color TV, a little bar, couches all over the place, and a good supply of beer. He always bought beer a half-dozen cases at a time and kept it on hand for the Saints and a few others that ganged up at his joint once in a while.
"We went to his pad and he broke out some gin, but I didn't drink it. It made me sick to drink anything but beer in those days. So Ben got out a few sticks and asked me if I'd ever turned on with that. I told him I hadn't, but that this was as good a time as any. I'd talked to some of the kids that were on the weed, and they all said it didn't hurt you afterwards, and that when you floated on the grass it was real jivey, so I wasn't scared of it. Besides, I wanted to see what that cock of Big Ben's looked and felt like.
"I began smoking, inhaling deep, like he told me to, and in a little while everything began to get happy. Ben looked like Paul Newman to me then, and I began to get horny as hell. Ben belted down about three good shots of straight gin, then he began to fool around. He took off my blouse-I wasn't wearing a bra-and he sucked my tits awhile. He was running his hand over my thighs and letting his fingers touch my slit every once in a while, and I noticed that his cock was busting out the jeans, it was so goddamn hard.
"Ben stood up and told me to take off my skirt and panties. I was feeling frisky by then, and I told him, Take 'em off yourself, cocky.' He knew I was in the mood all right, because he didn't argue, and Ben was the kind of a guy that nobody-man or woman-ordered around. He had long ago shown the Saints and a lot of others that he didn't take any shit from anyone, so when he took my skirt and panties off, I knew he really was hooked on me.
"He stripped off his jeans and out popped the biggest cock I'd ever dreamed of! Ben then moved in close, so that his dick was almost under my nose when I sat on one of the couches. I was dragging on my third stick, and I just reached out and grabbed it and pulled him closer to me. I would take a drag of the weed, then a suck of his cock, and he got hot as hell. He pushed me back on the couch and took the stick away from me. He climbed aboard my chest and straddled me without letting his weight come down on me. He'd have crushed me to death if he had. He weighed over 300, and his dick looked like a baseball bat when he put it up close to my mouth.
"I wanted it bad, so I went to work on it with my lips and tongue and teeth, while I massaged his balls. He bent forward and leaned on his outstretched arms, and began to jab away, fucking me in the mouth. I knew what come was, and I expected him to shoot into my mouth, but not the goddamn load that he did! Christ, I almost gagged to death, trying to swallow it, and some of it dribbled out of the corners of my mouth.
"He pushed until I felt the throbbing of that giant cock stop and then took it out. My jaws ached, but I was hot as a firecracker, so I just laid back and told him it was my turn.
"I don't suck cunts, baby," he said. He wasn't nasty about it, but I knew he meant it. "But I'll give you the ride of your life, hot shit." He laughed when he called me that and spread my legs wide as he slid down on my body. He knelt on the floor beside the couch and pulled me over to him so that his cock was about even with my cunt. I could feel the wetness of it, and I propped myself up a little so I could see what he was doing.
"He put his hands under my ass and pulled me almost onto his prick. Then, with one hand, he guided that one-eyed monster into the lips of my pussy. It was my first time, but I was ready I'd masturbated enough, just imagining how it would feel to have a solid prick stabbing into me, and if ever there was a good one, Ben had it.
"It didn't hurt as much as I thought it would. I'd been fed a lot of shit about that when I used to listen to my aunt-the one in Salinas-spout off about keeping my 'virginity' for the man I married, and I guess I did believe some of it. But it didn't hurt, and when Ben got his cock all oiled up from my wet pussy, and it began to slip in and out pretty easily, I concentrated on the feeling that he was sending through me. Man, what a prong he had! It rubbed my clit on the way in, then caught it on the outstroke, and when the head of it penetrated all the way, he rammed it home into the inner walls of my cunt. I felt like I was bleeding a little, but it turned out that it was only my juices and a few drops that seeped from Ben's cock before he really shot his wad.
"He was a real slow starter-maybe because he was afraid of hurting me, but when he did get into the swing of it, he grabbed my ass and pulled me in to meet every stroke of his cock! He was driving me wild, and I guess I was doing him pretty good, too, because he was grunting and half-moaning, and when I locked my legs around his big hips as far as they would go, and began to spur him, like you would a horse, he really came on like a big daddy.
"I had one come about a minute after he started, and it was a good one, but nothing like the lightning that struck my cunt when he came! Man, he was really pumping, and I felt like his cock had to be coming out of my belly button, he was going so deep. I began to bounce my ass around, and he just let go with his whole lower body and swung it in and out of my cunt! When he shot into me, it felt like hot lead, but I was coming, too, and I didn't think much about what was happening until later. It was like I was going a thousand miles an hour in a plane, way up above the clouds. You know, a lot of girls can almost have an orgasm when they ride a set of wheels real fast, and I've heard that girls can really come when they make a sky dive, and that's what happened to me. I was way out of it, man, and I felt like I'd never come down.
"All this horseshit about it being painful when you have your cherry busted is a lot of bullshit. I loved every second of it and I wanted more. I kept on pumping, but Ben's cock went soft, so I pushed him away and went down on it. It was covered with sticky white goo, but I didn't care. I wanted to get it hot and hard again so he could drive me up to those clouds with it.
"He laid back while I sucked him hard again, and then he got up, rolled me over and told me to get on my hands and knees. I was afraid that he was going to try to shove that big mother up my asshole, but he didn't. He stuck it up inside my cunt, and it was an altogether different feeling than the straight fuck was. He went in a lot deeper, and the angle of his prick made it so that he missed hitting my clit. I just reached down and massaged it with my fingers, and when he began to speed it up, so did I. When he shot into my cunt again, I had another come, and then we both just rolled away from each other and laid there gasping, but feeling like we were high as a kite on something.
"Ben looked over at me and said, 'You're really something, doll. Where did you ever learn to fuck and suck like that?'
"I told him that that was my first fuck and also my first suck job, so I guess it came natural to me. He laughed at that and protested, 'You're shitting me, kid. Nobody naturally knows how to blow a guy and take a big cock like you did.'
"I told him that it was the truth, and now that he had broken the ice, we ought to have a ball together every so often.
"We made it often after that. Big Ben even sucked my cunt a couple of times-but only enough to get me warmed up-he never sucked it until I came.
"Then he got loaded one night and spread the word that I was an easy lay, and that I was a goddamn good one. I didn't find that out until later, of course, but it wasn't long after that that Duke came around and asked me if I wanted to go for a spin with him and some of the Saints. Duke is the leader, and he's a tough mother. He's put a few guys in the hospital with his fists and bottles and lengths of chain, and they say that he killed one guy in a chicken race. Duke was passing this guy on a curve and ran him over an embankment that had a drop of two hundred feet. That was out in the rugged mountains near Saugus, and I never heard if they found the guy's bike or his body. But after I got to know Duke for the mean mother he is, I believed the story.
"I had seen Duke around, but he never even noticed me until after Ben blew his mouth off. Not that I minded, because Duke is my old man. No, that doesn't mean we're married-it just means that when it comes to sex of any kind, Duke calls the shots. He gets me first if he wants to, and if he doesn't, he still has to okay it for some of the other guys.
"But you don't get to be a 'Queen,' or as some call it, a 'Mama,' overnight. You have to earn your place, even fight for it sometimes. I had to fight Gloria for my spot, but I wanted in so bad that I'd have cut her fucking throat if I had to. I was really hung up on Duke by then, and I wasn't about to let anyone outfuck or outmaneuver me to get him. I never was one to hang back and take what comes, and I wanted into the Saints, all the way in-to the top spot. That's the Mama or the Queen, and that's what I am today. But it wasn't as easy as I might make it sound. It took a lot of sucking and fucking, and some pretty wild actions to get there, but it was worth it to me."
The narrator is 15-year-old Goldie A. She is, as she claims, the Queen or Mama or Old Lady of one of California's many outlaw motorcycle gangs. It might be well to take an up-to-date look at these hoodlums on wheels who have been a thorn in the side of California's law officers and private citizens alike, as well as many unfortunate merchants whose places of business have been wrecked or looted by the leather-jacketed thugs.
In the fifties, a new element of undesirables appeared on the California scene. They rode motorcycles, stole or conned for a living, raided small towns, wrecked saloons and stores, terrorized citizens and defied lawmen. They wore black leather jackets and most wore beards and moustaches. All smelled to high heaven, and all were dedicated to a tight brotherhood. Their daring was almost beyond belief, as was their cruel and utter disrespect for law or decency.
They thundered into sleepy California towns from San Francisco to San Diego, and they trigged a host of similar clubs all across the nation. None, however, ever attained the power by sheer numbers that the California parent group did. They called themselves, aptly enough, "Hell's Angels," though there was nothing angelic about demons on wheels who wreaked havoc wherever they rode.
They were a tight-knit group, as Goldie has indicated, and their ultimate weapon was shock, whether in physical acts of terror, or of conduct in the sexual area. To be a member in good standing, and to gain the respect of the gang members, a cyclist had to prove himself by performing several "mind-blowers"-acts that defied reason and sanity for sheer wanton cruelty and filth.
In their wake came the "camp followers"-girls who willingly or unwillingly joined the thrill-a-minute gangs and who often provided sex for an entire group. When a girl became a "Mama" or a "Queen" as Goldie did, it signified that she was wide open to sex encounters with any member of the gang-provided the leader (to whom she nominally belonged) gave his okay. If she was detected having sexual encounters with other than a gang member-and especially with a member of a rival gang-she was usually beaten, scarred with knives or acid, and hospitalized by the gang.
The menace became so great that a special commission was appointed to study the phenomenon and to make recommendations to the Attorney General's office as to what steps could be taken to rid the countryside of the raiders on cycles. The report is much too detailed to quote here, but it documented several "raids" on small towns, as well as attacks on individuals. However, the gangs were like will-o'-the-wisps. They would disappear into some of the dry desert areas for a time, then sweep down in a lightning raid. Or they would head for the arid mountain fastnesses of the southern California area. They plundered and maimed. They defied lawmen when they did encounter them, and they lived like old-time outlaws-off the land, foraging food, beer, parts of their bikes, materials for shelter, and, on occasion, even girls to service their sexual needs.
They were written about in national magazines and in local newspapers, and films were even made extolling their nefarious activities. Graphic as these were they did not divulge the real viciousness of the groups-particularly in the field of sex-and the utter depravity of the sex appetites of both male and female members.
Members of such outlaw motorcycle clubs are usually very willing to talk to newsmen and writers of other media; however, it's absurd to try to make any sense of their spouting, for they take advantage of any opportunity to whine and plead their case. They come through, in their own words, as truly persecuted "angels" who just happen to like speed. They refuse to acknowledge that they are lawbreakers, and always insist that when trouble starts it is always the other party who is the instigator and aggressor.
They have diminished somewhat in numbers, largely due to the fine efforts of California law enforcement officers and the cooperation of a large segment of motorcycle enthusiasts who have formed legitimate clubs that are counseled by highway patrolmen and the Department of Motor Vehicles brass. They abide by all traffic rules, including those that call for respecting the rights of others, and they have "siphoned off a great many motorcyclists who might have been coerced into joining the outlaws, had not the authorities provided places where they might hold meets, races, and exhibitions of skill under well-supervised instruction.
Still, there is a hard-core element of cyclists who will never submit themselves to rules of law and order. They are as rebellious as are the hard-core "protest groups" at our universities, or the Black Panthers. They have, however, been unable to penetrate the so-called Hippie groups, primarily because they do not settle in one area long. They are sometimes driven out by the very members they seek to emulate, as happened in Berkeley at the height of the protest movements.
Since we are primarily interested here in the sex activities of young girls who seduce older men, we shall return to Goldie's account, for, in its sheer frankness, it may bring the shocking and nauseating acts of such individuals into clearer focus. This, in itself, may be a step toward understanding the motivation of these almost animal-like creatures and their female counterparts, and with understanding, hopefully, there may one day evolve a suitable and effective antidote.
"At first, when Duke came right out and told me that Big Ben said he'd been making it with me, I thought he'd make a pitch for me himself, but I had a lot to learn about Duke and the rest of the bunch.
"First, he had an old lady, and that meant that I'd have to really battle her if I wanted to take her place. I would also have to pull a mind-blower that would make Duke want me as his Mama. Ben filled me in on a lot of the things that a girl had to do to even make it into the gang, let alone become top fuck.
"And I kept making it with Ben, too, to show Duke that I was for real. Ben played along with me, once I told him what I wanted to do. He fixed it so that I took on him and two of his older friends, while Duke and Animal and Hot-nuts were watching. And I mean I really took them to town. I sucked one of their cocks, while Ben got me from the rear, and I jerked the third one off at the same time.
"Duke came around later on and told me that he just might give me a ride sometime, if I wanted to show him how I made love to a real man. He made his point clear by adding, 'Not some fat old fucker that has to get his rocks off inside of two minutes, but a real man that can go for hours.'
"I sure hoped he was talking about himself, because I couldn't think of anything else now, but getting to be Duke's Mama. He is a good-looking sonofabitch, with black hair and brown eyes, and he has a scar that runs across his nose and cheek, from a motorcycle pileup he was in a while back. And was he built!
"That was all I needed-a chance at a hunk of man like him. I was flippant when I told him, 'Any time, big boy,' but I meant it.
"I thought it would be just him and me, but a didn't turn out that way. He came by school one day on his wheels and told me to jump on. I got on the passenger's seat and grabbed him around the waist. Did he ever give me a ride! He headed for the open country out towards the desert, and he left the road and headed over a bumpy trail that seemed to lead to nowhere. But finally we came to a ramshackle place that seemed to be falling down. Somebody had patched the wall with some corrugated sheet metal, but I wouldn't have bet that the whole heap wouldn't fall down at any minute. I saw a lot of big cycles parked outside, and I guess I knew then that I wasn't going to make it with Duke alone.
"We parked his bike and went in. The place was a mess. There was hundreds of empty beer cans on the floor, a couple of torn mattresses, an old oil stove, and a few lanterns. That was it. But they all gave a big hello to Duke when he came in. One dirty-looking broad ran forward and hugged Duke, but he pushed her away and told her to cool it, and she looked daggers at me and went to a dark corner and sulked.
"Duke introduced me, saying, 'This is Goldie. If she can make it, she's gonna be your next Mama. He glared over at the girl who had hugged him, as if to dare her to say a word or make a move. I could see most of the guys eyeing me up and down, and I thought I saw some real yen for me showing in most of their eyes, I knew I was filling out good, and I wore extra-tight clothes to show off what I had. But I wasn't interested in them-I wanted to make it with Duke-so bad I could taste it.
"Somebody tossed him a can of beer, and he pulled the top off and took a good swig. Then he pointed to one of the girls sitting between two guys that were feeling the hell out of her tits and her crotch. She had blue jeans on and she didn't look as if she'd had a bath in a month. Duke said loudly to her: 'You got the rag on, Sue?' The girl nodded. She seemed almost proud that she was menstruating, even though she looked plenty old enough. Duke nodded and swigged some more beer.
"Take off your jeans." He ordered the girl. She got up and quickly took off her blue jeans, standing there bare from the waist down. I could see a bloodstained Kotex showing between the lips of her pussy, and the sanitary belt she wore to support it.
"Lay down," Duke commanded, and she laid down on one of the filthy mattresses, her legs spread wide so that everybody could see that awful-looking sanitary napkin with all the blood showing clearly. Duke turned to me. "I hear you want to make it with us," he said. I didn't really want to make it with us-I wanted to make it with him, but I managed a smile and said, "That's right, man."
"You got the guts to do whatever any one of us tells you?" he asked me. I just nodded, thinking that he would make me suck him off, or maybe even one of the others. Or maybe he wanted to see if I'd take it up the ass if he told me to. Whatever he wanted, I was ready-I knew that. I just wanted to get down to the nitty-gritty with Duke, fuck him until his prick was sore.
"Okay, baby," he sneered at me. "Go over and take that cunt pad out of Sue's fuckbox-" He paused a minute and looked at all the smiling faces around him. They were all watching me closely. "--with your teeth!"
"I think I must have turned pale, because I felt a cold chill go over me. I've never fucked around with dames. I don't go for that lesbian shit. I like cocks. But I knew that this was the real test, and I had to pass it or I was out on my ear-no Duke-no anybody.
"I went over and knelt between her outstretched legs. I could smell the odor of blood and sweat coming from her crummy body, and it almost gagged me. I closed my eyes and started to unpin the sanitary napkin, but Duke roared, 'I said with your teeth, you dumb cunt!'
"I closed my eyes and held my breath and leaned forward and took a good bite of the goddamned soggy rag and yanked back with all my might. The pad tore away from the safety pins and I fell back, the bloody Kotex in my teeth!
"A big shout went up from all the guys except Duke. He walked over to me and took the napkin out of my mouth and tossed it aside.
"Okay, cunt-now suck that bleeding snatch!" he said.
"I didn't think I could do it, bad as I wanted to get in good with him. I put my hands to my mouth, in an unconscious gesture, and I think I gasped. Looking down into that wide-spread cunt with the dark blotches of blood showing on the lips and in the hair that was close to the slit, I didn't think I could do it without fainting. The smell alone was enough to make me puke.
"I started to appeal to Duke, but he cut me short. 'Suck it-and then spit out some blood, so I know that you really did suck it!' he snarled.
"I took a deep breath and put my lips to her cunt. I tried not to think of what I was doing, and it helped a little. Finally, I fastened my lips to her cunt lips and sucked as hard as I could. I could taste the brassy taste of blood in my mouth, and I tore my lips away and spat a mouthful of spit at Duke's feet. It was flecked with blood, and I could hardly keep from vomiting when I looked at it.
"But Duke was laughing, and he slapped me on the back and said, 'Good going, baby. You're okay. You're in.' He took my arm and helped me up and then he began undressing while all the others clapped, applauding my performance.
"Duke looked over at me and said, 'Come on, babe-I said you're in. You're my old lady now. Let's get with it and show these guys how you can fuck and suck!'
"I stripped in nothing flat. I got a kick out of the low whistles when the gang saw my pert saucy tits and my nice flat stomach and curvy hips. I could see that they admired me and envied Duke, and it gave me a real glow on.
"When we were naked, Duke laid down and told me to 'give him a trip around the world.' I knew what he meant, and I got down and licked and sucked his flesh from his ears down to his toes, then back up the other side. I even rolled him over a little and reamed out his asshole with my tongue. I could hear 'ohs' from the guys, and once in a while they would make a remark that told me that I was doing all right.
"Duke was rolling and groaning in pleasure when I finally closed my mouth over his beautiful prick and began to really suck it. It didn't take him two minutes to shoot his load, and I kept on sucking it until it was hard as nails again, then I just climbed on top of him, straddling his cock. He helped me guide his prong in, and then I laid down flat on his body, sucking tongues with him.
"He reached down and took both my ass cheeks and used them to pull me up and down on his prong, and was I ever turned on! To this day, it's my favorite fucking position, with me on top of the guy. It makes you feel as if you're the boss, and that always did give me a kick.
"I came twice while Duke was coming once, and my second one was a real peachy one. I tingled all over as I felt Duke's cock gradually slowing in the throbbing and bucking. He pushed me off and turned to the girl who was still sulking in the corner. 'Wipe me off, cunt!' he called to her. She came out with a handkerchief. She looked as sour as a lemon, but she wiped his cock clean.
"Duke turned to the gang and said loudly, 'Goldie is my old lady. Anybody wants seconds, they have to see me first.' He turned to me, and his eyes were hard and cold. 'I catch you fucking or sucking anyone that I don't okay, and you get the living shit beat out of you and you get tossed out on your ass! Got that?' I just nodded and he began to get dressed.
"I was just Duke's girl for about three months. Then he brought in a new little snot named Colleen. She was even younger than I am, and it burned my ass to see him go through that old routine with the bloody rag, but I was already too far gone on him to risk being thrown out, so I just sat and burned.
"Afterwards, he told the gang that I was a Mama, and that I was up for grabs. It wasn't so bad, because there were several of the guys that I knew were already after my ass, and we had a real ball from there on. It's the rule that once a leader turns you over to the gang, and you become a Mama, he can't do anything about who you fuck or suck. I didn't have Duke very often, but I found that there were a lot of good stiff pricks in that wild bunch, and I balled it with all of them. I finally settled down with Big Pete-a tall, broad-shouldered blond guy about thirty. He was solid-I mean, he took care of me. I stayed at his place over a garage in San Berdoo, and for most of the week it was just me and him. On weekends, we would all meet, and then anybody could have a go at me.
"I've been busted twice for lewd and indecent conduct-once when Big Pete fucked me in a little beer bar in Rialto-that's a little burg outside of Pomona. He laid me right on the goddamned counter, and the yokels that were in the joint at the time almost blew their minds. I doubt if some of the silly bastards had ever seen a naked cunt before, but nobody tried to stop us, after Duke rapped the bartender across the mouth with a pair of brass knuckles.
"We always have trouble with the fucking cops, so we try to hit the smaller burgs, where there aren't any local fuzz--just the Highway Patrol-and they stick pretty close to the freeways, while we head for the sticks.
"I went back home a couple of times, but they didn't want me around, so now I'm one of the Saints. I make out good. Pete sees that I eat good, have a place to stay and plenty of pot or beer. What with ail different kinds of guys to ball me in a dozen different ways, what more could I ask? Kicksville, man, that's where I live and that's how it's going to be from here on.
"If we get busted, we just hang loose, and when we get out we head for a different part of the state. We try to stick close to the Berdoo and L.A. area though, because it's warm enough there most of the year to sleep outside with just a blanket if you have to.
"I don't think about tomorrow. Who knows if there will be any? I don't. You don't. Pete might make a wrong move at sixty miles an hour, with me on the back seat, and that's that. So, while I can, I'm getting mine-everything I ever wanted. Who the fuck wants a dirty house full of kids and a dragged-out husband every day? Not this sister. I want live ones, like I live with now. It's the name of the game, baby -fuck today, and if you're still around-fuck tomorrow, too-and I mean that both ways."
The outlaw motorcycle clubs represent a more obvious extension of many of the youths' philosophy of today. They live for "kicks" and they obey no one. They respect no one-not even themselves and, surely, not one another. They conceive the vilest of actions-"mind-blowers"-yet, in the few instances where such persons run afoul of the law and are sentenced to prison, where psychiatric care can be given, it is obvious that this credo is a boomerang. Most of the members of such gangs are extremely illiterate, most are atheists and unpatriotic to the point of treason. It would seem that, somewhere along the way, these unfortunate youngsters have stepped on a land mine of their own making-an explosive that shatters their emotions and, in truth, "blows their mind."
They come from nowhere and yet everywhere. Their roaring motors travel countless roads, each one leading to nowhere. What their ultimate end will be is impossible to predict, even by expert sociologists and psychiatrists. They seem impelled by a demonic inner force to defy the very world they live in, while, at the same time, they seem bent on their own destruction via their metallic mounts.
It is only hoped that a look at such individuals may prompt some older, wiser heads to guard against the recruitment of one of their own children into one of the bike gangs, for they are truly no angels, and they are surely doing their best to make a wide road to hell.