This book is a compiling of some of the more interesting cases taken from the files of a New York child psychologist. The therapist will not be named, of course, as he wishes to remain anonymous.
All of those cases have to do with the sexual adjustment or maladjustment of children. They all have one important feature in common. They are all cases of incest. The children in these following pages have all had some sort of sexual contact with either their parents or their siblings, or both.
Each of them is fascinating in its own right.
Case history one is the story of a seventeen-year-old girl. She had a need to take her mother's place in the family. Not only does she want to be the housewife who runs the household, but she wants her father as well.
She feels that she can only win her father's love by truly being a wife to him. The case tells how she deals with this urge for her father.
Case history two involves the story of a boy who is the only male in a family of females. They exploit the boy and the mark of his sex. He is left awfully scarred by this.
Case history three tells the story of a girl who was used sexually by her father at a very early age. He no longer has any relations with her as she grows up. But the girl still longs for that love. She consequently turns to finding it with older men who are strangers.
Case history four is about a girl who is a sexual bully to the other children in her neighborhood. This girl was left abandoned by her parents. She feels that the only way she can feel love is to be filled up. To her this means anything that will fit into any of her bodily openings.
Case history five is the story of a twelve-year-old boy who had shared sexual stimulation with his mother. When she dies, he becomes emotionally lost. His turmoil is shown in his behavior. He cannot stop himself from masturbating in public or anywhere. He is not aware of what he is doing.
Case history six is the story of a very bad home situation. Both parents are alcoholics and her brother is a dope addict. She has only her sister to turn to for love and support. They consequently form an incestuous, lesbian relationship.
Case history seven is the story of a boy who cannot obtain an erection. All of his sexual gratification comes through the oral mode. He wants only to have his mouth filled with other men's penises. And he denies any homosexuality.
Case history eight tells of a rather unusual family. All the sex in the family is free. The two daughters and the mother and father fornicate regularly and freely together. They appear to be well-adjusted despite their unusual sexual arrangement.
CASE HISTORY ONE
Subject: Joyce Ellen R. Age: Seventeen
INTERVIEW ONE
This young patient was referred to me by a social worker from a Brooklyn hospital. The girl had complained of being beaten by her mother. There was indeed evidence of this, as the girl was black and blue all over her shoulders and back.
She was a very attractive girl, even alluring, one might say. The social worker had felt that she should be seen by someone with more experience than himself since she had hinted of incestuous play going on in her household.
I wondered, when I first saw her, who was the the initiator of the sex play in her family? She certainly looked more than capable of exciting any father enough to forget his role. Her silky, young skin and budding body were certainly mouth-watering.
I knew that I could get him to come after me. He's always been a dirty old man. And when I noticed the way he looked at me, I knew he wanted to be more than just a father.
It was three or four years ago when my mother went to the hospital that it all started. I was thirteen or so then and just I and my three little brothers were home with my father all alone.
I had to do everything. Since my mother was away, I had to do all of the things that she normally would have done. The cooking, cleaning and so on, and getting the kids off to school.
But that's when something started to go wrong.
I was doing all of these things and I was enjoying it! I felt that I was doing a much better job than my mother did, or ever could have done. I was the mother now!
All of her duties were mine. I guess I started to think that her husband should be, too.
He liked what I was doing. I could tell. He started to look at me like I was his wife instead of his daughter.
Every night, before he went up to bed, he would kiss me tenderly on the cheek. He would take me in his arms and press himself very close against me. As time went on, he got closer and closer to my lips.
I hated him and I loved him for what he was doing.
I knew that he was falling for me as his new 'wife' and I was happy that he was. I could do things much better than she could. All I had to do was prove it.
He was treating me more and more as a wife. I wanted him to do so. I tried to be as nice to him as I could. But for a long time, no matter what I did, he always went to bed alone.
I wanted him to take me to bed. I wanted to be a real wife to my father. A daughter was not what I wanted to be to him.
He was always so gruff with all of us. I was sure that he would be different with me when he did with me what he did with my mother. I needed him to treat me that way.
One night, when I was asleep on the couch, I heard someone stirring in the room. I was frightened, at first. It might have been a burglar.
Everyone else, all the kids and my father, were asleep in the upstairs bedroom. But I could make out a form in the darkness.
I asked who was there. There was no answer. I began to get frightened! I wanted my father to be there. I wanted him to take me in his arms and hold me.
Then a voice came from the dark figure. It was my father's voice! He said not to worry, he was just checking the house.
I asked him to come over to the couch. I told him that I had been frightened. But he said that it was all right and I should go back to sleep.
It was so disappointing to me to have him right there in the same room and not been able to touch him! Why did I need him so badly? Why did I burn up just waiting for his touch on my skin?
It was difficult for me to get back to sleep after that. I had to play with myself in order to get to sleep.
I used my fingers all around my private parts. I kept touching until I got all juicy. All the while, I thought about my father and what it would be like to have his rough hands touching me where my own hands were now.
If I could be a wife to him in every other way, why shouldn't he treat me like his own in bed?
I hated him for that! How could he do this to me? It was his way of telling me that I wasn't good enough. He was letting my mother keep all of the good things for herself while I had to do all of the dirty work.
He wanted me. A dirty old man like him shows it in a lot of ways. He didn't want me to go out with any boys. He always said that if I wanted to go out, he would take me. He said that all boys wanted was one thing!
But I knew that he wanted the same thing! He was just being a coward by not taking me as his wife.
I hated him for wanting me, but I hated him more for not taking me!
There were really hard days in the house. The kids could be real terrors. I was usually kept pretty busy. One day, it had been a horrible day. The kids had fought all day. I was behind in the shopping. I hadn't had time to even clean the house.
When my father got home, he could tell immediately that it had been a rough day. He was very sweet to me, in his gruff, macho kind of way.
He came up behind me and put his arms around me. He asked if the kids had gotten to me. I, of course, said that they had and that it had been a horrible day. He said he would make it up to me.
I didn't know what he meant by that. But it did make me feel good because he was treating me like a grownup. That's exactly, what I wanted, you know.
We all had dinner. My father was extra nasty with the kids. He told them to stay out of my hair. In his own way, he was being very concerned about me. I guess I was acting kind of nasty to him, though. I wanted to make sure that he knew how bad of a day it had been.
That night, I was so tired that I don't even remember getting the kids off to bed. I fell asleep on the couch right away.
In the middle of the night, I started to wake up. I was real groggy at first. I didn't know what was going on. There was some kind of feeling down here, you know, between my legs at my crotch.
It felt great! Somebody was rubbing me all over down there, just like I did to myself when I was turned on. The rubbing was harder, though.
Then I began to really wake up. It was so good! I could hear heavy breathing. Somehow, I wasn't afraid in the least. It felt too wonderful to have been bad.
I wanted to know who it was. Every fiber in my body was really turned on! It was so exciting to wake up and find somebody playing with me. I squinted through the darkness so I could see who it was. It was my father!
He had his hand inside of my slacks and my panties! I remembered that I hadn't even undressed. I had been that tired. But I wasn't sleepy anymore!
Finally! Finally my father was touching my body like he did to my mother's. It was heaven!
His strong, large hands were kneading at me, like somebody rolling dough to bake with. One hand was in my crotch and the other was on my tit. He was rubbing with both hands. It felt too marvelous for words.
He told me to stay calm. He said that he was just trying to undress me to get me into my pajamas. What a line! How hateful could he be!
It was no secret that he wanted me. Why did he have to go and lie about it? Parents think that kids are stupid. They punish us for not telling the truth about stuff, but they can't admit their own feelings to themselves.
He was finally touching me the way that I had thought about for a long time. He was a little rougher than I had expected, but it was okay.
The funny thing was, although I really wanted him to be doing this, I was frightened at the same time!
It wasn't the right thing to do. I knew there was just something terribly wrong in doing this! He was nothing but a dirty old man! How dare he rape his own daughter! You see, I thought that he would, right away.
I feel caught between these feelings of wanting him to touch me so I'll be like a grownup, and being scared at what hell do and what this meant! I felt like just loving what he was doing to me and running away screaming! It's really that confusing. I don't know what to do about it!
He kept rubbing his hand around on my privates. His heavy breathing was really getting loud. I was even afraid that he would wake up the kids!
He had his head down on my stomach. He was kind of moving around in time to the way his hand was rubbing my crotch.
I still felt good, even though I was afraid, of what could possibly happen.
I had never had a big man's hand down there before. Oh, sure, I've fooled around with guys my own age and stuff. But we never did too much heavy touching without clothes and stuff. My father's hand was there for a lot longer than anybody's except for my own!
I guess I was kind of turned on because I felt his hand being able to move around a lot more. He was sliding on the wet stuff that comes out. Anyway, I guess I was really into having my father feel me.
He was getting real hot, I could tell. He was trying to get his body up onto mine. He didn't want to stop rubbing me with his hand, so it was hard for him.
And speaking of hard! When his leg touched against mine when he got over me, I felt his cock! My father really was stiff for a guy his age. I knew he was ready for me! His own flesh and blood, the creep!
He was still using his hand to rub me. Every now and then, he would kind of take one-two fingers and jab at me with them. A couple of times, he stuck them part of the way inside of me. It felt really strange! I had never had anything stuck inside of me there before, except my own fingers.
Sometimes when I played with myself, I would shove a finger or two up inside. It seemed like I never felt too much of anything when I did that. I always figured it was because I was doing it myself and I probably wasn't big enough.
It felt like my father was big enough, though! He was big enough with the fingers he had already put in me, and probably with his cock that I had felt!
I was really hot. He would go deeper inside of me for a few seconds and then pull his fingers out fast. It was wonderful! But I was still scared and starting to get more scared!
This was my father who was making love to me like this! And I wanted it!
"Oh, what's wrong with me that I had to have him? He's my own father. That dirty old man! He did all those things to me! And I wanted it! Oh, no!
I needed him to do it to me. I wanted him to take me! But I would hate him for it all the time.
He was huffing and puffing like a steam engine. I could feel his cock straining through his pajamas against my leg. He had his hand hard up against my crotch. I could feel his fingers moving inside of me. I was real tight down there. I felt everything he did to me. I started to get real scared now! It felt great, but I was still scared!
My father was beginning to move on top of me. He was trying to get into position to take off my clothes so that he could get into me.
All of a sudden, I knew that I had to stop him! I couldn't let it happen.
I started to bring up my legs so I could force him off me. He's so big, though, that I really don't budge him. He only pressed his big body down harder on me. Neither one of us said anything. We both knew what was going on. We didn't need to talk about it.
He kept moving his hips real jerky against me. And his hand was still down in me. He wasn't moving it too much anymore. It was kind of just there beside me. I guess it was because he was concentrating on his own cock.
His moving around as I tried to push him off got weird all of a sudden. He started to move real funny. Then all of a sudden, he stopped. He pressed his hips down hard on me. He stopped breathing heavy for a second and then he kind of moaned.
That creep had come!
My own father had just creamed his jeans over me! That dirty old man didn't even care about me! He just went and shot off in his pajamas!
He gave me a wet poke with his fingers. It didn't do anything to my wet crotch! I needed more than that!
He gave my nipple an extra squeeze through my clothing as he pulled his other hand away from my crotch. He hugged me. I felt a kind of wet spot on his pajamas. The old creep, he came all over himself. And tomorrow I'd have to wash those pajamas with his man stuff all over them!
After that first time, my fattier knew that I hated him more than before. I still wanted him to treat me like a wife. I knew I was better than my sickly mother. But I wanted him to really crawl to me. He needed to be taught a lesson.
I couldn't help wanting him, even though he was a creep! I don't know what it was. I just couldn't resist wanting his sex.
Even though I acted really bitchy toward him, every night I would make sure I went to bed with just my panties on. I wanted him to be able to get to me easier!
We must have acted like lovers together. The little kids would sometimes start calling me Mommy. But Frank, the twelve-year-old, knew what the score was. He was beginning to fool around with girls.
Sometimes, when I was at the sink washing dishes or something, he would come behind me and feel my behind. He didn't do it in a brotherly way, either. He really took a feel for himself! Then he would grin really sexily at me and walk away.
I knew that my brother Frank was getting ideas, when he came downstairs one night just before I fell asleep. He asked me if I wanted to smoke some grass with him. I told him he was too young, and he should go to bed before our father heard him.
Well, Frank said that there was a lot that he wasn't too young for. Then he kind of put his arms around me and hugged me. One of his hands went right for my breast. I tried to push him away but he was very strong.
Then he said something that made me stop struggling. He said that he knew what was going on with me and Dad. If he didn't get anything from me, he would snitch on both of us.
That really scared me. I didn't know what to do. Whomever Frank would have told would have been horrible. I wouldn't have stood the embarrassment. How humiliating that would be. All the kids at school would have thought I was cracked.
I couldn't fight him. All of the horrible things that could happen if he told, were running through my mind. He went ahead and did what he wanted to. I couldn't fight. It was as if I were paralyzed with fear.
Frank quickly took off my underwear. He only had on his loose-fitting pajamas, so all he had to do was reach inside.
I was surprised to see my brother's big cock. I haven't seen that many guys-just a couple-but he sure seemed to be a lot bigger than the others.
He laid me back on the couch. He took one of my hands, and made me touch him there. It was a very weird sensation. Here I was feeling this great big hard-on, and it belonged to my brother.
He kept calling me "Sis," which is something he had never done before. It made me furious. I told him to stop his silly game, and took my hand away from his dick. Then he reminded me about letting the whole world know about me and my father. I kept quiet.
He spread my legs apart. I could see the outline of his big thing as it stood out from his body. That dummy brother of mine was going to jam it right into me.
He swooped toward me with his hips. I felt his cock go hard against my crotch, but he missed His cock went along the top of my crotch. It ended up being sandwiched between both our bellies.
I could tell he was angry about that. He moved his hips back so that he could try again. This time, I felt his cock hit my leg with its tip, twice. Then it ended up between our bellies again.
Frank was trying hard to keep his cool. But all the activity had hardened him even more. All of a sudden, I felt a warm trickle on my stomach.
All of a sudden, there was a hot, running pool of thick sticky stuff on me. My brother had shot off between our stomachs.
He lunged his skinny hips forward a couple of times. It was over very quickly. I could feel his smooth, hard thing get soft, and feel like it wrinkled all up. I had never seen a man do that before. I didn't see it then, either, but I felt it.
Frank was very angry. He had wanted to impress me with his great skills in being a man. He was showing off for his big sister, and he blew it. I felt a little sorry for him. After all, he is my own flesh and blood, and I should help him.
He rolled off me pretty quickly, and stuffed his thing into his pajamas. He would have stalked off immediately if I hadn't stopped him. I asked him if he wanted me to make us some hot chocolate.
I could tell that he was surprised. After awhile of getting his head straight, he said sure.
We didn't turn on too many lights in the kitchen. It kind of felt wrong for us, after what we had just done together. Well, we really hadn't done anything. But we just didn't want any bright lights on.
We drank our hot chocolate in the kind of dark kitchen, and didn't talk too much. I knew that Frank was still feeling shot down at not having performed the way he had wanted to with me. I felt sorry for him.
It sounded like everybody else had gone to sleep. The house was quiet.
I wanted Frank to know that I cared about him. Somehow, fooling around with my brother didn't seem to be as bad as doing it with my father. Although I still wanted my father, I thought I should do something for my brother.
He looked so down, that I reached over and put my hand on his leg. He looked up at me. I thought he was going to cry. He looked like a little boy again.
I made up my mind right there and then that I would show him that blood was thicker than water. I told him that I wanted to play with him.
At first, he didn't know what I meant, but he got the idea fast enough.
I went down on my knees on the kitchen floor. I put my head in his lap. I guess I was pretty clumsy, but I tried to find his cock.
I had always heard that guys liked to have their things sucked on. That was supposed to be a kind of ultimate thing to do for a guy. I thought that this would be a good way to show my brother that I cared.
He was really surprised. He almost immediately started to breathe real heavy. He asked me if I was sure I wanted to do it. His voice was real husky-sounding. I told him to just relax and everything would be fine.
I finally got his cock out of his pajamas. It was the first time I had seen one up so close. It was really pretty. Like I said, it was bigger than the couple of others I had seen. It was also nice-looking.
It was real smooth and soft. Even though he was getting stiff, it was still soft on the outside.
I took it in my hands. I tried to play it by ear and remember what I had heard and seen about people making love. Frank was hanging onto the table with both hands.
He was ready for anything I would do to him.
I let my hands go along each side of his cock. He seemed to like that. I did it again, right from the big tip of it all the way back to where his hairs grew. He had his head back and he made a funny sound.
He told me to move faster and harder with my hands, so I did. This seemed to really turn him on. But I was starting to think that he would come soon, and I wouldn't get a chance to show him how much I cared.
I decided to put his cock in my mouth.
With my hands, I pulled it down so that it was aimed right toward me. I took my tongue and licked at the tip of his dick like an ice cream cone. Frank went wild!
He bucked up his hips toward me, and made a real loud moaning sound. It sure must have felt good to him.
I licked at his dick some more. Then I knew I had heard that if you take it in your mouth, it really makes the guy feel good. So I opened my mouth, and took the tip part inside. I still kept licking it with my tongue.
Frank was really loving it. Almost right away, I started to taste some funny tasting dribbles that were coming from his cock. I knew that he was going to shoot soon. I wondered how it would taste in my mouth.
All of a sudden, all of the lights went on. Our father stood in the kitchen, glowering at us.
I saw him first and dropped Frank's cock out of my mouth as fast as I could.
His back was to our father, and he hadn't seen him yet. As soon as I had dropped his cock, he began to come. Large drops of the stuff fell all over the kitchen tiles.
He groaned and was smiling. I grabbed him by the arm and shook him. When he turned and saw our father, I thought he was going to faint dead away.
Our father started screaming all kinds of terrible things at us. He swore, and kicked the chairs around. He slapped me across the face, and knocked me into the wall.
He grabbed Frank by the neck, and started to bang his head against the wall. It looked like he wanted to kill both of us. He kept screaming about incest and sin and about how filthy we were.
I couldn't help thinking what a hypocrite he was.
He kept beating Frank mercilessly. I went and threw myself at his back. I pleaded with him to stop. Nothing helped, though. The other kids were at the stairs and crying like mad.
Finally, I told him to take me instead. I told him that, he could have me; he could do whatever he wanted, if he would just let my brother go. That seemed to stop him a little.
Frank got loose, and ran upstairs. He got the kids back into their bedrooms shortly after.
My father was red in the face as he turned to me. He slapped me hard across the face again. I was knocked onto the table. I guess I was kind of sprawled there.
The funny thing was, that when he reached for me, he didn't pick me up. He didn't drag me off the table like I expected he would do. Instead, I felt him pushing my hips up onto - the kitchen table. What the hell was he up to.
I soon found out what he was up to. He was taking me literally at my word. He was going to do whatever he wanted with me for having left Frank alone.
That dirty old man was going to get into me right there on top of our family kitchen table.
He was cruelly spreading my legs apart as far as they would go. He was hurting me. I tried to struggle, but he slapped me across the face again and told me to stop struggling because we had a deal.
He said that if I made a fuss, he would go upstairs and cut off my brother's cock. He was acting like a maniac. I tried not to make a sound. I was afraid that he would really do what he threatened. He was so furious.
He had yanked out his cock and held it in his hand. My legs were dangling off the edge of the table, so that my crotch was right near him and the edge. All he had to do was lean forward and push it into me.
In the bright kitchen lights, his cock looked terrifying.
It was as big as my brother's but it was not nearly as pretty. It was darker, and a little wrinkled, even though it was stiff, and out straight. He moved it back and forth in one of his hands.
I was scared. I knew that he was going to hurt me. What's worse is that he wanted to hurt me. I wanted to run away, but I knew that I couldn't.
Then he started. He put his cock right at the opening to my spot. I thought I would faint from fear.
He kind of grinned as he began to push it forward. I could feel his cock force its way into me. It began to hurt me. It felt like I was being split in two. I started to cry.
This only seemed to excite him even more. He didn't bother to go slow any more. He began to shove really hard. He jammed his cock hard into me as far as it would go. I felt the horrible pain as he forced himself farther and farther into me.
I tried to get away by throwing my legs in the air. But that was the worst thing I could have done. He grabbed my legs and hoisted them over his shoulders. Then the pain was really bad.
It felt like his cock was going right through to my stomach. I cried out.
He didn't even stop. He kept pulling his cock out and then slamming it back into me, until I thought I was going to die. He panted and wheezed like a bull.
It was happening. My father was deep inside of me, with his cock, and he was working himself up to come. That dirty old man was going to come right inside of my virgin thing.
I wanted to get away. I pleaded and squirmed, but nothing helped. All that did was make him push and ram into me harder than ever. All my twisting only hurt me down there more.
Then he began to move his hips in that real jerky, fast way he had done that night on the couch. He hung onto me with both of his hands so tight on my shoulders that I knew hi was bruising me.
His hips slammed up against me two or three more times really hard. I could feel his cock reach all the way to the back of my hole. It was hurting so bad.
Then all of a sudden, I felt this hot wet stuff squirting up inside me. He was doing it. That dirty old man father of mine was coming inside of me.
I hated him! I hated him!
But I had done it. I had his man stuff inside of me, just like my mother had. I had done it. I was like a wife to him now, I really was. But I would never forgive him.
CONCLUSION
This young girl obviously had problems in knowing how to give and receive love. She felt so insecure about her father's love, that she thought the only way she could be sure of it was to make love to him as a woman. That is why she wanted to take her mother's place.
The treatment plan for this girl will be a sexual re-education process in which the therapist will teach her that sex is an expression of pleasure, and not necessarily love.
CASE HISTORY TWO
Subject: Albert F. Age: Fifteen
INTERVIEW ONE
I could barely believe that the young man who entered my office was really fifteen years old. He was small and delicate, and had the look of a pre-pubescent twelve-year-old. His movements were rapid and birdlike. He was one of the most unmasculine boys that I have ever seen.
He had been sent for an evaluation by the officials in his school. They suspected that he had marked homosexual tendencies. He had been caught in the locker room of his high school, masturbating while he watched the other boys undress.
It was very significant that he had been accompanied to my office by his entire family. My waiting room was filled up with his over-protective mother, his two aunts, and his three sisters. Two of the sisters were older, seventeen and nineteen, and one was a year young than he. He had no father.
I didn't really know what I was doing there in the locker room. I just couldn't seem to stop myself from playing with my-well, you know-my thing.
I never saw any other guys before. There is nobody in my family but women. My father died when I was a year old. I really never knew him.
I don't know why I couldn't control myself in the locker room. It was just so new to me. I thought I was the only person in the world with stuff like mine. You know, with a penis.
The only other people that I've ever seen undressed are the girls in my family. All my mother and them have ever told me is that I was different from them.
I always got the idea that I wasn't as good as they were because I have this long thing and they don't. My sisters make fun of it and me. My mother says that it's not my fault if I was born a man. But somehow, I don't think that she forgives me for it.
We have a real small apartment. My mother sleeps in one bedroom and me and my sisters all share the other one. It's a big room, but it's still just one room. Sometimes, for a treat, my mother will let one of us go sleep with her.
That's always fun. She's soft and warm to sleep with, and it's always wonderful. I love to sleep with my mother. She doesn't make fun of me or do the things that my sisters do to me.
Most of the time, they think that it's a lot of fun to look at my private thing and make fun of it. They like to touch it and make it get stiff. Then they laugh about how funny it looks to them.
But my mother never laughs when I get into bed with her. We never wear any pajamas. I get to feel her soft body all over me. She holds me real tight and says that I'm her baby, and she'll never let me go.
My mother doesn't think that my thing is funny. She likes to see it get stiff. She takes it in her hands, and makes it feel good and warm. When I get stiff, she takes it and puts it between her legs, way up high, where she doesn't have one. Then mother kind of moves around and sighs.
I kind of get so that some wet stuff comes out. But mother is all prepared for that. She has some big table napkins ready by the side of the bed. She puts one around my thing when the wet stuff starts to come out. She holds it for me. That way, we don't get any bad wetness on her bed.
Mother makes me feel like it's okay to have a penis. It's still not as good as being a girl to her, I know. But she doesn't make me feel too bad about it, like my sisters do.
They like to play games with it. When I'm in bed, they'll come over and jump into bed with me. They'll say that they want to see "Little Albert" stand up. That's what they call my thing, "Little Albert."
Francie or Susan, my older sisters, take it in their hands and move up and down on it until it starts to get hard. Then they take their hands away and laugh at it. They tell me that I'm terrible because everyone can see my privates.
I hate them!
Sometimes, they just leave me like that and go back to their own beds. But other times, they want to see it squirt, or they might want to play some more.
When they want to see it squirt, one of them, or sometimes me, will move their hands all over it. They touch my stiff thing, and the sack under it until this white stuff comes out of the tip of it.
I like the feeling of the white stuff coming out. But I really don't enjoy it because they are making so much fun of me that I thing I shouldn't be enjoying it. It does feel good though. It feels the best when I rub it myself, like I did in the locker room.
Those other boys were so good-looking. Their things were much nicer than mine. It made me feel good to see other boys like me. They didn't seem to mind that they had long things like mine.
Mother and my sisters always said that men weren't as good as women.
That's probably why whenever my sisters and me played games, I always got to do the worst stuff. I was always the one who got pushed around. They made me do everything that they wanted me to.
Like, there was this game they made me play. We still do, sometimes. It's called fire hose. Naturally, I'm the firehose, and my three sisters are burning houses. We all lie in our beds very still until one of the girls yells fire.
When that happens, I have to leap out of bed, and run to whoever yelled it. I have to rub my thing on the way so that it gets hard. They lie there on the bed, and move around, to make it real hard for me to get my thing into them.
See, they say that the fire is inside them, you know, between their legs. So I have to get my thing to squirt inside of them, to put out the fire. The problem is that while I'm doing one, any of the others can yell fire, too. Then I have to quick hurry up, so I can go squirt the others.
That's hard to do. And they make it even worse, because if I take too long they make me pay a penalty. The penalty is that they get to stick something in me. You know, in my rear end. They say that putting something there and moving it makes the fire hose better.
It's true, too. When they stick something in my rear, like the arm from one of their old rubber dolls, it makes my tiling stand up again. But still, they hurt me sometimes when they do it. And all the time, they laugh at me and how funny it looks.
Some night I have to put out a lot of fires, if they're in the mood to make me miserable. And that means that they stick me in the rear a lot of times. They think that it's very funny. I hate them for it.
I don't want to play those games any more. But if I don't they will tell mother. I don't want that to happen, because then she will get angry at me.
When mother is angry, she is very mean to me. She won't talk to me. She acts as if I'm not there. At dinner, she'll talk to my sisters as if I wasn't even sitting there. She makes me go around the apartment completely naked
Even when my aunts come over, she won't let me put on any clothes if she's angry with me. They come in, and stare at my thing and say how disgusting it is.
So I hate it when Mother is angry with me. That's why I always do whatever Mother tells me to do. I don't want her to do those things to me when she gets angry. I just don't make her angry, if there is any way not to.
She was very angry when she found out about what I did in the locker room. For the whole week since then, she hasn't talked to me, and I haven't had any clothes on when I'm at home at all.
My aunts have been coming over a lot. They have been doing a lot of things with me to teach me a lesson, they say. They say I have to learn more respect for women and learn that men are just dirty things.
So my aunts have been teaching me how to show appreciation to women. When they come over, one of them takes me into the bedroom, to give me a lesson.
It usually starts by them examining me all over. They look at my thing carefully. Then they make me bend over so they can see my rear. Sometimes they'll put something in there and move it around. Other times, they'll use their fingers inside of me, and wiggle them around.
Then they make me stand up again to see if I have gotten stiff. Most of the time I am. I try to be because if I'm not, they touch me all over again, and I don't like that. So, if I'm stiff, then they lie down on the bed, and make me play fire hose with them.
That's not as bad as what comes next. To complete my lesson, they make me take my tongue and lick them. You know, down there. They seem to like that a lot. There is a certain way and place they want to be licked. I try to do it exactly as they say.
If I do it right, soon they are bouncing around and making noises. After awhile, they stop moving and tell me that I can stop.
I don't like doing this, because they always smell funny down there. Besides, they always get so wet, that it makes my face all sticky.
Will you talk to Mother, so that she won't be angry with me anymore? I don't know how much longer I can take my aunts teaching me lessons all of the time. I want Mother to like me again, too. Can you fix it up for me with her?
If I didn't have Mother, I don't know what I'd do.
She always gets me out of trouble. When bullies chase me home, right to the apartment door, she gets rid of them. She yells at them to leave me alone. They all run away, and do just what she says to.
Mother is the best person in the whole world. She would never do anything to hurt me. It's all the other people. They're against us.
I know that they make fun of me. They call me a Momma's boy, and a little queer. But Mother tells me that I shouldn't pay any attention to them. She says that we are the best family in the world, and we have to stick together.
We do. Even my sisters don't go out too much. They are pretty much at home all of the time. My big sister doesn't go out on many dates.
She says why should she bother with all those dumbells, when she has the biggest dumbell of them all-me-right at home! They all thing that this is a very funny joke. Everyone always laughs when she says it.
Sometimes I wonder if I'm good for anything at all. I wish I had been born a girl. Mother really loves them much more. I can tell.
She never does the things with me that she does with them.
I know. I watch them through the keyhole of her bedroom sometimes when my mother and sisters are all in there together. They do things together that we never do at all.
I'm jealous of my sisters. They have more fun with mother than I do. She loves them more.
I don't know why she won't let me play with them when they are all together. I could do everything that my sisters do for her. After all, I have my long thing right on my body. I don't have to use rubber things like my sisters do.
They do. They use these rubber things that are real big, but look like my-you know, my penis. It looks like great fun. They never include me, though. It must be just for women to do to each other, because they're better.
Whenever I watch them, it looks like my mother is having a real good time. She gets all red in the face and tells them to not stop what they're doing or to go faster or harder. She never says stuff like that to me.
I never get to go inside of Mother's hole thing at all. But my sisters do it all the time.
I've seen them. My sisters and my mother get all undressed. They touch each other all over. They play with their titties and put their hands around each other's private parts.
They giggle a lot, and make each other squirm.
Usually, when they start, Mother just sits alone on the bed. She is all naked. She watches my sisters as they fool around with their bodies.
Sometimes she laughs at what they do. If my two big sisters really put on a good show, she rewards them.
When they are good, that means that one of them has strapped on one of those big rubber things, and laid down on top of the other one. Then the one on top moves up and down real fast.
I can see the rubber thing going in and out the hole of the one on the bottom.
If they do it real good so that they are both all red and look like they have been running, Mother likes it. Usually it ends with both of them moaning and bouncing against each other. It looks like they're having a good time.
When that happens, Mother says that they have done real well. She tells my little sister to go over to them and put her fingers into each of their holes. If she can move her hands in and out real easy, that's good.
She makes my little sister show her wet hands. Then it's time for their reward. Mother lets them come up on her bed.
She is all naked, so it makes it easy for what comes next. She tells the one on the bottom that she can lick her.
Whatever sister it is at the time looks real happy and throws herself between Mother's legs. Mother puts a pillow underneath her back so that her privates are kind of up in the air.
Then my sister starts to lick Mother all over between her legs. I can usually see her pink tongue rubbing around her hole. She keeps licking at mother for a long time. Mother tells her what to do, too.
She tells her if she's licking too fast or too slow, or if she's not right where Mother wants her tongue. My sisters always follow Mother's instructions very carefully.
They use their tongues on her exactly the way that she wants them to. She likes them to rub it around by her hair down there. Then after awhile, she tells them to stick their tongue out as far as it will go.
When they have their tongues stuck out, she moves herself so that she puts her hole right on them. Then I can see my sisters' pink tongue disappear inside of Mother.
I'll bet that it's wonderful. Mother usually groans like she's having a good time. And the sister who has her tongue in her is usually wiggling her rear end in the air like she wants to get inside real deep with her tongue.
This goes on for a long time. Then Mother starts to move around even more. She starts to breathe real funny. I can see her big titties going up and down like she can't get her breath.
This is when she reaches down and grabs onto my sisters' head. She presses it real tight into her privates. Then she bounces up and down real hard.
Soon, she's moaning real loud. At the last minute before it looks like Mother is going to faint, my other sister runs to the bed with a special, big rubber thing.
She doesn't strap it on, but she works it with her hands. The sister who has had her tongue in Mother, gets out of the way real quick.
They shove the big rubber thing right up into Mother's hole very fast.
It seems to go inside of her really deep. She throws her legs up in the air, and grabs at the bedspread with her fists. Her eyes are always shut real tight and she makes a lot of noise.
My sisters start to shove the big thing in and out of her hole, real hard. They push it all the way in, and then they pull it part way out of her before they ram it in again.
Mother looks like she is going to die. She waves her legs in the air, and whines, like, and kind of sobs, you know? All the while, she is bouncing around while the girls shove the big rubber thing in and out of her.
Finally, something happens. Mother screams out loud. I'm always afraid that she is hurt.
But my sisters keep pressing real hard into her with that thing. They don't stop for a second. Now, though, they both put all their weight against it to hold it hard inside of Mother, while she really goes ape on the end of it.
Suddenly, then, Mother goes all limp. Her legs fall down, and lay spread apart on the bed.
The girls stop pushing into her with the thing. They look as tired as Mother does. They are all breathing very hard, like they've run very far.
Mother just lies there with her eyes closed, and her chest moving up and down like she's having trouble breathing.
Then the girls grab hold of the rubber thing real tight. They get it in their hands and they yank it. It comes squirting out of mother's hole really fast.
It must hurt her, because she kind of doubles up and groans real loud. It's like the rubber thing sucks her right up with it, as the girls pull it out.
My little sister claps her hands and jumps up and down. She looks real happy. Then she runs to my mother and puts her skinny little body between my mother's spread legs.
She takes her little hands and practically puts one or the other of them right into mother's hole. She moves it around for awhile, so that mother moans.
What's being done to her now, though, is real gentle. It seems to be just what she wants after that big thing.
Pretty soon, my little sister takes her hand out. She begins to lick all the wet stuff away from Mother's privates. She does it very carefully and gently.
The big girls sit back and watch. Sometimes they let their hands play around with each other's titties and privates while they watch our little sister make mother all calm again.
I wish I could be in there with them. They never invite me. It must mean that Mother doesn't love me as much as she does the girls.
But I could never figure out why they use that phony rubber thing when I have a real one.
Sure, the rubber one is larger and all, but mine squirts out that white stuff. They always seem to like that. All except for Mother, that is.
That must be it. She didn't want me to get my white stuff in her hole. That's why she always had the napkins by the side of the bed when I slept with her. She never wanted that stuff to get on anything.
I guess if she doesn't even want liquid stuff from my thing on her bed, she wouldn't want it inside her.
But still, Mother did like the thing. She had to. She seemed to enjoy herself real well when my sisters put it inside of her. I wonder why she won't let me do that for her.
Maybe my thing isn't so big, but it's okay. It was as big as some of the boys I saw in the locker room.
I guess that's why seeing them made me want to play with myself. It would be wonderful if I had one of those inside of me. That's what Mother did, so it must be good.
When I watched the boys undressing, I thought of Mother using that big, rubber thing. Since I don't have one of those phony ones, I could use one of those boys' things.
It seemed to make Mother feel so good I thought it should do the same for me. Why not? If she wants a big thing in her, why can't I have a big thing inside me?
I'm sure it would make me feel just as good as it does her. I don't have any fun at all when I have to go inside of my sisters' holes.
I would much more want to have a man's thing inside of my rear.
When the girls shove things into me, sometimes it hurts. Other times, though, I pretend that it's another man, or Mother putting her phony rubber thing in there from behind.
Then I can enjoy myself much more. If I think a man has his thing in my behind, it's wonderful.
I feel just like Mother must feel. I like that. I want to be like her in every way that I can. Then maybe if I'm like her, she will love me as much as my sisters. After all, they're like she is, and she loves them more than me.
I still wish I were a girl. They have all the fun. They can feel someone go inside of them all of the time. What a wonderful filled-up feeling that must be.
It must be wonderful to be a woman.
I don't know what I'm going to do. I hate being a boy. But still I like to look at boys without their clothes on. Does that mean I'm bad, like they said at school?
All I want to do is please Mother. I want to be just like her. I never want her to be angry with me again. So I thought if I like the same things she does, it would be okay.
She likes to put stuff shaped like men's penises inside of her. I think I should do the same thing.
I thought that mother would approve. But she is more angry at me than she has ever been.
Now she's going to be even more mad at me. She told me not to say anything about what my family does at home. None of us are ever supposed to talk about any of it, to anyone. I'm going to get killed for telling you.
She'll find out what I told you sooner or later. She's like that. She always knows what I've done wrong. It doesn't matter if anyone snitches on me or not. She knows.
I'll probably walk around without any clothes for the next month, because of this. Ugh! And I'll have to put up with my creepy aunts.
I hate to have them put their hands all over me. Worse than that, is when they make me lick them. I hate it. But I would like to be able to lick Mother there.
She would taste sweet. I know it.
But because I'm a boy, she'll never let me do those things to her that my sisters get to do. We are all very close in our family. But my sisters are better than I am.
I'm proud to be in my family. I just wish they liked me better than they do. I try to do everything I can to make them proud of me.
It just seems like I always mess it up somehow.
It's like what I did in the locker room. I thought that was being just like Mother. All I want to do is use real things instead of the rubber ones that she uses.
She and my sisters don't see it that way, though. They say that you don't have to bother with men because they're dirty. That's why they have all of their fun together, without me. That's when they're happiest.
It's the same thing on those nights I watch them all through the keyhole of my mother's bedroom. Once my mother is all tired out on the bed, they don't stop there.
My big sisters then start to have fun with my little sister.
She giggles a lot when they rub her all over with their hands. They use their tongues, too. They lick her skin right from the soles of her feet to her ears.
They spend most of the time, though, around her privates. My big sister likes that. While she's sucking the little one there, my other sister tries to get her tiny titties to stand up.
She licks at them and kind of pinches them with her fingers until the little nipples are like bumps. They all seem to like that very much.
Pretty soon, he littlest one is all goose-bumpy. I hear them talking about it. She keeps on giggling all of the time.
Mother watches all of this from her bed. Sometimes she tells them what they should do to her next. But a lot fo the time, she just watches and smiles at the three of them on the floor in front of her.
After awhile, they start to really zero in on her privates. The older girls take turns licking at her there. I can see them using their tongues on her. They move them very quickly.
I try to practice using my tongue that fast. It's hard to do. But I never practice when I have to lick my aunts down there. I don't want them to have anything too good from me.
I guess I envy my little sister. She has a hole that the others can put their tongues into. I wish I had one like that.
Well, I guess I do have one. The one in my rear. But none of them would ever think of putting their soft tongues there. They would think that was too dirty. I don't know, maybe they're right.
Anyway, they really give my little sister a good time. They use their tongues and their hands all over her. I can see when her thin hairs start to get wet from all the licking.
Then they start to use their hands. The put their fingers on her privates. They move them all around, just on the outside. At first, they do it real slow. But after some time, they start to speed up.
One of them always rubs her titties, while the other one rubs her privates. They go faster and slower together. That way, it feels like the same person is touching her in both places.
Just like their tongues had finally been stuck into her hole, now it's fingers that begin to do it.
At first, they do it real light and slow. Only a fingertip is put into her hole first. But they move it around real fast, so that she is moving her hips up to meet it. She tries to get it to go deeper inside of her.
But they never let her have it when she wants it like that. They make her wait for it. When one sister has had just her fingertip inside, then it's the others turn.
They switch places, and the sister who was rubbing her titties, is now the one to put a finger in her hole. But only part way. The new sister plays with her just as much as the first one did.
By this time, my little sister is usually squirming and trying to feel more and more of the finger inside her. They still don't let her have it though. They go very slow.
While I am watching all of this, I usually get very stiff. My thing stands straight up all by itself. I don't touch it or anything. It just happens.
It begins to get very thick and so hard, that I hardly recognize myself any more.
I have to take my hand and begin to rub it. If I don't, it would still be hard when they came out of the bedroom. They would know that I had been spying on them. I don't want them angry at me.
I couldn't do anything else but rub myself. I know that if I rub it fast enough, soon I will have that white stuff come out. That always feels so good, if I'm alone, that I really like to do it.
Besides, I can enjoy it, because I know that after a night like these in Mother's bedroom, the girls are too tired to play any games like fire hose. Mother, too, usually wants to sleep alone. Sometimes, though, shell keep one of the girls, but not too often.
So I could watch it all, and feel really good. I knew that I wouldn't be called on to do anything else on nights like that.
I was all right if my thing stood straight up. All I had to do was rub it while I watched Mother and my sisters. Soon, it would happen.
I was always prepared for it. When I felt my thing getting stiff, I would go into the kitchen, and get a plastic baggie. I would put it over the tip of my thing. That way, I could let the white stuff shoot out.
If I didn't use the baggie, I would get the sticky stuff all over, and they would know that I had watched them.
But with it, I just rub myself until it happened. I didn't have to worry. There would be no evidence left. I always take the bag with the thick white stuff that has come out of me into the bathroom.
I wash all of the stuff out of the bag. Then I take the baggie and wad it up and throw it in the garbage can. I always make sure I get it way down at the bottom of the garbage can.
It made me feel good to do that. It still makes me feel good to know that I have a secret from the rest of the family. But, if Mother ever asked about it, I would have to tell her. I would never lie to Mother.
You know, sometimes I don't tell her everything that I do like she wants me to. But I could never just lie to her. If she asks me something, I have to tell her the truth.
I think that's what made her so mad about what happened at school. I didn't lie to her or to the principal.
I told them I was looking at the other boys because it was fun and I had never seen other man-things before. I said that I thought it was fun because Mother thought that it was.
I want to be just like my mother. I would be a girl if I could be. But since I can't be, I want to do everything that Mother does.
She likes men's things. She has her own fake one that I know she really likes, even better than the girls. So I want a man's thing to put in me, too.
It must be wonderful to be filled up like women are. That's how I want to be. What can I do, Doctor?
CONCLUSION
This boy is obviously suffering from a sex identity crisis. His mother has made him feel that he is worthless because he has a penis. The boy is confused about how to gain love from her, so he identifies with her. It is really identification with the aggressor.
The treatment plan for this boy will include family therapy. I will take personal responsibility for confronting the mother with her sexual use of her children. I would also like to take over the changing of her attitudes toward me by sex therapy with her alone.
CASE HISTORY THREE
Subject: Melissa S. Age: Thirteen
This young girl was brought to my office by her parents. They seemed to be upper class people of comfortable means. Melissa is a very comely girl who acts and talk intelligently. She appears to be mature beyond her years. She moves, acts, dresses and just generally behaves like a woman of twenty-three rather than merely a precocious girl of thirteen.
The presenting problem in this case was cited as the girl's promiscuous behavior. She had reportedly been performing lewd sexual acts with nearly any man who came along....
including many older men.
Their daughter's behavior was brought into the spotlight when she tried to seduce an uncle at a recent family gathering. This unlikely pair was discovered by the uncle's wife, and Melissa was exposed and denounced as a little tramp. The girl is sweet, and so much the lady in every other way that the parents decided to obtain a psychological consultation.
I think that I have always been very old for my age. I look older than just thirteen, don't you think? It's fun, looking older than you really are.
Most people can be fooled if you just act grown-up. Why, do you know that I have already been served in two bars? They didn't even ask me for any identification. That's pretty good, I think. My friends think so too.
I have a lot of friends. It's probably because I'm an only child that I like to have a lot of friends. I can talk to almost anyone. The dumb kids at school like me just as much as the smart kids do.
It's important for me to be liked by people. I think it's all to my credit that I can do all these things. I'm not a snob to anybody. No one can say that I ever snubbed them, not me!
I like being friendly. That's why, when parents or teachers tell me not to talk to strangers I don't listen. Why shouldn't I talk to them, and get to know them.
I don't think that it's dangerous at all, the way they say. If I am friendly to someone, they are friendly right back. I've never been hurt at all by any of the nice people that I talk to. Sure, they're strangers when we first meet, but after awhile, it's like I've known them forever.
My parents have started yelling at me for seeing all kinds of people. They say that IVe been doing nasty things, but I don't think so. Like with Uncle Joe. We were only fooling around.
I asked him if he wanted to touch me. At first, he was surprised, but then he started to really like it. I know that men like to touch women, especially if they're young like me.
Anyway, I don't think that there's anything so terrible with what I do. Uncle Joe was just going to start having a good time, when Aunt Flo caught us. What a spoil-sport she is.
She made everyone get upset with what we were doing. I don't think it was any of her business. But Uncle Joe sure got scared.
He said that he had nothing to do with it. He said that I had seduced him. What a laugh that is. Well, of course, I offered to let him touch me, but I didn't twist his arm.
I don't like weak men, do you, Doctor?
Maybe that's why I like to meet strangers so much. I never know when I'll meet a really strong man. He would carry me off, away from this city and I'd never come back again. Some day that will happen.
Until then, I plan to do just exactly the same as I have been doing. I don't care what anybody says. I will not stop talking to strangers. Nothing bad ever happens anyway.
Do you want me to tell you what I've done with the people I have met.
Well, there was one, a gas station man, about six months ago. My parents and me-pardon me, I mean "I"-my parents and I were going to the "country. We were going to visit some relatives who had a summer home.
On the way there, we got a flat tire. My father pulled into this small, run-down gas station. It seemed to be the only one for miles.
They were real tired, and both of them were cranky as anything. When the man told them it would take at least an hour, because he had to finish what he was doing first, they nearly had a fit. But he told them that there was a little coffee shop just around the bend.
I said that I didn't want to go with them. They were convinced I should stay when I told them that someone should watch all our things that were in the car. They finally left.
I was alone with this strange man.
It was wonderfully exciting. He was so grimy and slow in the noggin that I liked him immediately. What a perfect person to show I was not a snob.
He was from the South, and talked with a drawl, just like in the movies. His hair was greasy and his fingernails were all black underneath.
He was tall and skinny and his coveralls just hung on him.
He had gone back into the garage, where he was working on a car. I followed him. I stood around and looked cute while he looked up at the underside of the car that was on a tall hoist.
I flattered him shamelessly. I told him how big and strong he was. I told him how smart he must be to be able to figure out these complicated cars.
It finally got to him. He stopped what he was doing. He asked me if I knew that I was one of the prettiest dang things he had ever seen. It was rich. I toyed with him.
I told him I didn't have a boy friend. But I also told him that if I did, he would be just like him. He grinned so widely that I thought his face would crack. Anyway, I went on to tell him, very boldly, that if I had a boy friend like him, I would let him do whatever he wanted to with me.
He almost dropped his teeth. It was really very funny, Doctor. It really was.
He came over to me. I smiled up at him, really innocently. Then all of a sudden, he grabbed me. With all those grimy clothes and all, I could hardly stand it. I told him that we should get undressed.
I convinced him to go into the field behind the gas station. We went there, and I pushed him playfully down. Then, while he was lying there, I did a strip for him. I took off all of my clothes.
I did it because I wanted him to touch me, and because I didn't want grease on my clothes. He loved it. He never thought that a young stranger would be taking off all of her clothes in front of him today.
My body is certainly adequate for a woman twice my age. And he saw that immediately. He took out his penis right away. He pulled me down next to him, and started rubbing his filthy rough hands all over me.
I reached down and took him in my hands. He looked very surprised. Maybe women in the South don't touch the men, but I do.
I wanted to make him feel good, so I started to rub it up and down. He kind of moaned. I thought that was very sweet.
He tried to get me to stop. He said that it would be no good if he couldn't get inside of me. I didn't want him to, really. He kept rubbing me on my crotch and exciting me. He tried to get his penis out of my hands.
But I held on. I knew that he would do just what it said that men with an erection do in all the books I've read. I wanted him to have his climax right there.
I didn't want him inside me for a lot of reasons. You know how it is, Doctor, I didn't want to get a disease from him or anything like that.
Anyway, he did climax very quickly. His penis got really hard just before he started to squirt out of it. His whole body went stiff and then limp.
I watched every bit of it come out of him. I enjoyed it. It was fun to watch that creamy stuff come out and fall on the ground.
Pretty soon, it was dribbling down my hands. Well, he was angry at me. After he had rested, he said that he wanted to do it again. He ran his hands over my body some more.
He put a couple of fingers at the opening of my vagina. But I pulled them away. I didn't want his dirty fingers inside of me, any more than I wanted his penis there.
I jumped up and put on my clothes. He tried to stop me. But every time he did, I would just reach out and squeeze him where he would have to hesitate from it.
I was dressed and heading back for the station before he knew what had really happened. He ran after me while he was stuffing himself back inside of his pants.
I reminded him that my parents would be back soon. I also told him that my father had a gun with him. One word from me and he would be in a lot of trouble with my father.
He sure was angry when he finally got down to working on the tire. But it didn't last long because soon my parents could be seen coming down the road.
We ended up smiling at each other, as my parents and I drove away. We had a secret that no one else knew. It had been fun.
So that's something that I've done in the past. Is that what you want to hear, Doctor, dear? You're a very handsome man, you know? I could show you all of these things easier than I can talk about them, you know.
I may be only thirteen, but I know how to have a good time more than most of the grown-ups I know. Everyone has too many hang-ups.
There was a minister I knew, once. Oh, he was really too much. He had to pray after we had finished. Can you believe that? Too funny for words!
Oh, you'll get a kick out of this story. He was an old minister, who has since left our neighborhood. He was kind of fat, and was completely bald. His big, red cheeks made him look like a clown.
Anyway, our eighth grade class was going to have a dance in his church auditorium. It had removable seats, and I was on the entertainment committee. That meant that I had to have a lot of meetings with him. Sometimes we met with some other kids who were on the committee. But most of the time, we met alone. That's the way I liked it.
I could tell that he liked me. He would always light up like a fat Christmas tree when he saw me.
At first, we didn't do anything at all. He would talk. to me and tell me what a pretty little girl I was. I would smile at him and flirt. He loved it.
There was no one around the first time that we really fooled around. We had gone from the auditorium to the church. It was really quiet in there. We could just talk and stuff. It was great fun.
You know, although he called me a pretty little girl and all, he really did treat me kind of like a grown up. He would impress me with all the things he knew about. He knew all about church history and all.
He would talk on and on. I liked to listen to him. He was an intelligent man and he was rambling on to me. He would explain anything I wanted to know. It was more like he was some kind of professor and I was a student.
Anyway, I'm afraid I was trying to give you a snow job, Doctor. Me and the minister didn't really do anything bad. I mean, all he did was touch me on the bottom a couple of times.
It wasn't that he didn't want to go farther with me. He just was one of those people who really is honest. He never said he was going to do anything that he didn't end up doing. I could trust him.
I suppose what I was trying to get you to believe was that we had wild orgies behind the altar, but we didn't. He was more like a real father to me.
I miss him.
Well, I certainly didn't want to get heavy with you, Doctor. I was going to pull off this little lie with you. I thought that it would be in keeping with my image.
After all, I wanted you to think that I'm a real femme fatale, and that no one ever turns me down. Well, he did. That old, funny looking minister was really a good man. He was like a kindly old saint.
He wasn't a hypocrite like other grown-ups. He was certainly more together and nicer than my own father. He seemed to care a lot more than my own parents did about me.
Isn't it strange? My parents always talk about loving each other and me. You know something, though? .1 don't believe them. It just seems that there's something missing when they say it. They aren't very good actors.
Are you shocked? Has anyone ever admitted trying to give you a snow job so fast before? I bet not. I must be convinced that I'm special to you, but you already know that, right?
I don't know why I did it. I just wanted you to be impressed, that's all. And the truth of it is that I usually don't get turned down. I really wasn't trying with him. If I had tried, I'm sure I could have had him.
But I suppose you're thinking that there must be some reason behind my telling you that tall tale, or trying to. And you must be curious about why I admitted it to you.
Well, Doctor dear, I think I'll save that interesting little tidbit for later. I like to keep a sense of mystery with my men, you know?
I don't know what I'm going to do. My parents keep on my back about what I've done.
The story about me and Uncle Joe has reached horrible rumor levels in the family. Now, everyone is saying that we were almost having intercourse together. What a lie!
People are really creeps, you know? They must have really dirty minds. After all, if we had been really doing it together, it would be okay for them to talk that way. But it's all lies.
They should know that I'd be the first one to admit that we had done it, if we had. I'm not ashamed of it, and I wouldn't have been ashamed even if we had done what they said.
Anyway, now my parents are so up-tight about me, that they are always giving me the third degree. They want to know where I go and with whom, and all kinds of crazy stuff.
It's crazy. They've never been too interested before. Now, all of a sudden, they feel that they have to understand me and try to help me with my problem.
Hah! That's a good one!
They call it my problem. All I am is honest in my feelings and what I do. At least, I'm not a creepy hypocrite, like they are. I don't say one thing and then do another.
The only reason that they're concerned is because the rest of the family found out. As long as no one knew what I was doing, including them, they didn't care. Now, all of a sudden, it's terribly important.
But so what? I'm not going to let them bother me.
Would you like to hear another one of my escapades for your collection of nutty stories? It was about three months ago, and I met this absolutely fascinating man. Yes, he was a man, really, not a boy. I met him when I was on my way to school.
He was one of those insurance men who is very straight. He was always in a suit and tie, and all. Oh, yes, I had seen him around before. He always used to be in this one neighborhood collecting insurance premiums from the people.
He was not terrifically good-looking, but he had that kind of nice, clean look about him. I was convinced even before I ever spoke to him, that he was a happily married man.
Somehow, I'll never forget that he wore those heavy wing-tip shoes all the time. That's how conservative he was. That is really the best way to describe him. By his wing-tip shoes.
Anyway, we had always smiled at each other whenever we happened to see one another from across the street or something. You know, we each got to be one of those familiar, stranger's faces that you get used to seeing. We had never spoken.
Then one day, we happened to be on the same side of the street at the same time. We were at first just polite, but of course, I couldn't leave it at that. I had to get to know him, he looked so nice.
Well, right away I asked him if he was happily married. Questions like that always throw men off their guard, especially older men. He looked at me with a very surprised expression on his face. I knew that he was trying to figure out if he had just heard what he thought he had.
I went on right away and told him that I had my fantasy that he was happily married. I told him that he looked it. Then he laughed.
I knew I had him. He was off guard.
He asked me how I got to be so smart about people. I told him it was because I lived hard. Well, that really stopped him. He just stared at me. I smiled my biggest smile right back at him.
He was really very interested. I had already decided to myself that I wasn't going to school that day. I wanted to be with him instead.
We talked some more, and I told him about me and he talked about his job. It was easy to see that he was trying to stay a little more impersonal than I was being.
Then I decided to pop the question. I asked him if he would drive me to school. He hesitated. I knew that this was a big decision for a conservative man like this. Finally he said that he would. I told him to go take care of his customer first, and I would walk to the end of the block and wait for him.
I knew he would be up-tight if I waited in his car. His customers would see me. So I walked quietly down to the end of the block to wait for him.
He met me soon enough. He must have given them some story to get out of their house so fast. I know that he usually spent time just talking with his customers.
Anyway, we never got to my school, of course. It wasn't long before I let him know what was on my mind. He fought with the decision for awhile. After all, he told me, he had a daughter my age.
He thought about taking me to a motel. Then he thought he wouldn't. But not for long. I helped him make his decision.
While we were driving, I slid over close to him on he front seat. I took one of my hands and put it on his businessman's suit. He gritted his teeth.
I didn't touch him too much. I just kind of gently let my hand stay on his thigh. He was getting red in the face. I knew that it was blowing his mind.
He turned the car out toward the suburbs. We drove along one of those mostly deserted roads, where they are tearing down old stuff to build new things in its place. We went down to a far end where there were no construction workers.
He stopped the car and looked at me. I didn't waste any time. I reached right over and kissed him on the lips. He was shocked. He just stared at me.
But when I reached over to kiss him again, this time he kissed me right back. He was pressing hard against me with his lips. He didn't French kiss me right away, he kept his mouth closed.
I soon got him to open it, though, and we bumped tongues and really kissed.
He started to breathe real heavy. He was beginning to sweat, too. I knew what he needed.
I let one of my hands go down to between his legs. He was all hard. I could feel it. He groaned when I touched him there.
Then I stopped doing all of this. I pulled away from him a little bit. I wanted to make him work a little more. He looked at me with a lot of surprise.
I know he wondered what the hell I was doing. It was no mystery, I just wanted him to take me. It's no fun unless the man has to struggle a little to get what he wants from you.
It didn't take him long to figure that out. He grabbed at me. I played with him, and pulled back again. I was giggling. After a second, he was laughing too.
He was wrinkling up his business suit a lot. He was trying to get me down on my back. I told him he would have to spank me to get me to do what he wanted.
I wanted him to treat me like a naughty little girl. But he said that I was acting like a woman, and he was going to treat me like one.
He opened up the zipper on his pants and took out his penis. It was almost hard, but not quite. He must have lost some in the struggle.
He was grabbing at my blouse to get inside. I was trying to pull away, but he finally had be pinned against the door. Soon, he was rubbing all over my breasts.
Boy, for an insurance man, he sure was homy. I mean, I never expected this average-looking man to be so sexy when I got him alone. But he sure wasn't letting me go.
He was trying to get me to use my hands on his cock. That was hard to do, though, because I could always move them away.
Then, he really started to get impatient. He told me that if I was nice to him, he would make me feel real good. I looked at his penis again. It was big and hard. Maybe he could make me feel really good. I looked at his penis
He started to try to get me to lie down on him. He was trying to get my face down by his crotch. I, of course, resisted him. I didn't want to make it too easy for him.
I had taken men's penises-is that the right plural?-anyway, I had them in my mouth before. It wasn't that I minded doing it to him. I would. I just wanted him to think that I didn't want to do it.
There seemed to be more pleasure for men, if they felt that they had forced you to do something that you were going to do anyway.
We wrestled around for awhile. He was a lot stronger than me, though. Soon he had my face pressed up against the side of his penis, and the sack underneath. He kept moving himself around so that my cheek rubbed up against them.
He was very turned on. I thought that the time was right to do it to him. He was going to get a thrill, for sure. He had probably never had a girl so young before.
I took his penis in my mouth. I licked my tongue around the top of it. It was already beginning to put out little drops of white stuff.
It wouldn't be long before he would shoot it all out of him. I took it out of my mouth and began to lick it like ice cream.
Well, that did it right away. His penis started to squirt out all that stuff. I took some of it in my mouth, but not very much. Mostly I let it squirt in the car, and on my hands.
He moved his hips up toward me to try to get me to let more of it come into my mouth. I didn't want to, though, so I didn't take it in.
He finished pretty quickly. Then he just sat there, panting. I kind of rubbed him all over down there. I was very gentle so I wouldn't turn him on by mistake.
Anyway, we didn't do too much after that. He took my back to my neighborhood, and that was that. See, Doctor, it wasn't so terrible, was it? I'm not the tramp they make me out to be. But I'm no angel either.
My parents think that I do this all the time. They don't care that I have a good time doing it. My father should know better, though.
He was the one that taught me how to be good to men. After all, Doctor, didn't it seem odd to you that I knew all these things about men without having had too much experience, really? I had to learn it somewhere.
Well, my dear father who is now shocked at my behavior, was the one who started me off on this. It's true.
When I was so very young-oh, between five and about ten, or so, my father started to fool around with me. Yes, indeed, he would call me his little girl friend, and he really meant it.
He would always take me to the movies on Saturday afternoon. That was our time together. We would usually go to see those cartoon things, or Disney type of movies. I used to like them. These were "the only times I had my father all to myself. It made me feel important, you know?
Soon, though, I found that my father had more on his mind than just watching the movie. He started out by just putting his arm around me, and having the other one on my leg.
At first, I didn't think anything of it. It wasn't too long after that that he started to massage my leg. He would run his hand almost up to my crotch.
When I didn't complain, in fact, I liked it, it made him go farther in touching me. Before I was six, I guess, he had his fingers all the way into my crotch. He was playing with me at the opening of me down there.
My own father, when I was such a little girl was the first to ever play with me sexually. He was the one who first let me know what my private area was for. We never talked about it, but we both knew that we enjoyed what was going on.
I felt very special because of all this attention from my father. He made me feel wanted. We had a secret that we shared. It all made me feel very grown-up.
For years, we kept on going to the movies on Saturday afternoon. I moved on from being felt up, to being opened by his fingers, to being entered with them. I also learned how to do things to please my father.
He taught me how to rub his penis so that it stood straight up. He always told me what a big, grown-up lady I was for doing it right. I liked doing it light for Daddy. I really was his girl.
He taught me how to tell when he was ready to squirt out -of that thing. That's when I would make sure it was bent down, and I had a napkin to hold around it. We never wanted it to make a loud splat on the floor, or the seat in front of us.
After awhile, I was even learning how to suck on his penis, so that it made him crazy with excitement. When I sucked on him, there was always a problem because he breathed so heavy. We were afraid someone would notice us.
I learned how to drink down all of the white stuff that came from him. I liked it. It always gave him so much pleasure that it made me feel important.
On day, my father borrowed a car from my uncle or someone, and we drove out to the beach. That was quite a day. We went to a very lonely spot. No one else was there at all. We were so alone, that Daddy said we could take off all our clothes.
We were all naked. I remember how big he looked. We played in the sand for a long time. I sucked on him first, and he squirted a lot from that. Then we played for some more.
Soon, Daddy had a new game for us to play. He had me rub his penis with my hands until he was hard. But instead of making him go all the way, he told me to stop.
He made me lie down on my back and spread my legs. I didn't know what was going on. I was too young. I must have been just six years old, or something.
Then he took that big thing of his and tried to put it inside of me down there. Well, I was very surprised. It was so big, that I was sure it wouldn't fit. I thought that it would hurt me too much.
I stopped him from doing it the first time. I squirmed away. But then my father talked to me very sternly. He told me that if I was really a grown-up, nd if I truly loved him, this is what I would have to do.
I was afraid, but I wanted to please Daddy. He said that he would try not to hurt me. I had to trust him. After all, he was my daddy, and I loved him.
I gritted my teeth while he tried to put it into me again. It hurt me a lot. I was only a little kid. Anyway, I barely remember what happened. I think he got it in about half way before he squirted into me. I was in so much pain that I don't remember too much.
He only went into me that one time. We kept going to the movies and playing with each other. But it got to be less and less, the older I got. It seemed that Daddy started to ignore me more and more.
I never knew if I had done anything wrong. Maybe he didn't like what I was doing for him any more. I really don't know. We never spoke about it again.
Even now, with all this trouble over me, he has never said one word about what happened.
CONCLUSION
This girl was used in a cruel way by her father. He equated love with sexual play. He made his daughter into an adult too soon. The girl is used to being treated like a sexual object.
By going after all these strange, older men, it is a way of returning to her father. It is as if she were practicing for the day that he wants to take her sexually again. She feels she can only get love through satisfying men sexually. She has no thought of her own pleasure.
The treatment plan should include sexual therapy where this girl can be taught that she, too, can enjoy the sex act. She should also be taught that a strong, male figure can be trusted, and that she can have a real relationship with a man other than her father.
CASE HISTORY FOUR
Subject: Edna S. Age: Fifteen
INTERVIEW ONE
This young patient was referred to me by the child court for a psychological evaluation. It appears that she had been bullying other children into unnatural acts, as the court termed it.
She was not a very pretty girl. She was overweight and had a serious acne condition on her face. Her clothing was of good enough quality, but the way that she wore them made it look like she had slept in them for days.
She was surly and sullen. It was extremely difficult to make contact with her. She had been forced to come to see me by the court, and it was obvious that she did not like it in the least. It was apparent that she was going to fight me for any information I might try to get from her. After a time, however, she did begin to loosen up.
I don't know why they even made me come here. There isn't a thing wrong with me. I just like to have fun with the other kids. Everybody does what I do. They just don't get caught.
I don't know why they always blame me for everything. All those other kids get to do exactly what they want. Anytime I try to have a little fun, there's always someone around to yell at me.
I'm sick of it. I think that I'll just run away or something. I'll show them. I'll show my parents and everybody. All they do is pick on me.
My mother and father don't care what I do. All they care about is that I'm not a disgrace to the family. That's all they ever talk about. They tell me to not do this, or not do that, because it would look good for the family.
Well, what has my family ever done for me?
They like my brother and sister better than me anyway. They always get whatever they want. Not me, though. I never get what I want. They don't care about me.
If Billy or Marcia, that's my brother and sister, do, anything dumb, my parents just laugh it off. But if I make even a teensy little mistake, they jump all over me.
They always say that because I'm the oldest, I should be a good example, or I should know better. Hah! That's just an excuse for them to yell at me.
Even when I do stuff that's really good, they don't care. They act like it's no big deal. Like when I was on the principal's honor list for my first year and a half in high school- they didn't care.
They always talked about how good Billy was doing in drawing class or something, or about how pretty Marcia is. They never even bothered to tell my aunt or uncles that I was doing real good at school.
That just shows what hypocrites they are. If they were really serious about all their talk about being a credit to the family and all, they would have been proud of me. But they weren't.
They'll never be proud of me. So why should I try anymore? Let them pamper my brother and sister. I don't care any more.
I can get my kicks out on the street. Everyone there does what I tell them to. Most of the kids are afraid of me, even the boys.
They know I would really hurt them if I had to.
I guess the kids that I hang around with are a little younger than me. They kind of look up to me as the older one who knows what to do.
They know that if they don't do what I tell them to, I'll beat them up. And I do, too. I teach them lessons if they deserve it. Deserving it means that they didn't do what I told them to do.
I might tell these kids to do anything. It could be stuff like getting me some soda from the deli, to breaking a window of someone's house that I don't like.
They always pay attention to me. It's not like at home at all, where no one cares that I'm alive. My parents don't care if I drop dead.
Actually, the whole family would probably want me out of the way. I'm sure that's what they're hoping will happen. They want me to be sent to reform school so they won't even have to look at me any more.
I'll show them.
I'm going to be the toughest girl that anyone ever saw. I'll make everyone do exactly what I want them to do. It'll be just like I do with the kids outside. They do lots of stuff just for me. At least, they do it, if they know what's good for them.
If they don't do what I tell them to, I punish them. I can do almost anything. What I like to do best, though, is put stuff inside of them.
You know, I'll use a smooth, round stick and put it in them. Either up their rears if they're boys, or their fronts or rears if they're girls is where I put it.
They don't like it very much but it teaches them a lesson. I don't hurt them, really. Sometimes it hurts if it's the first time that they've ever had anything stuck into them.
The boys especially don't like to have things stuck in their rears. But I do it to them anyway. I think that it's fun.
I like to see them being filled up by the stick. It's like the most natural thing in the world, to fill up a hole. All I'm doing is filling up holes.
It's kind of like a game. If there's a hole, I fill it. It just happens that most of the time, these holes happen to be on other people.
That's what I like the most. I like to see other people filled up. That's the way it should be, I think. I guess I sure think about filling people up a lot.
Sometimes, it's really like I can't think of anything else except getting some kid to come up to the roof with me so I can shove something into his holes.
There are a couple of kids who even kind of like what I do to them. They say that it feels good to have stuff inside of them. One of the girls says that she found a big rubber thing that looks like what boys have. She said she found it in her parents' bureau drawer. She says they use it together.
I don't know if I believe her or not. It doesn't seem like adults would use that kind of thing. But maybe they do, I don't know.
If people do that to each other, if they stick things into each other, why is everyone making such a big fuss about what I do;
It's all that Ronny Morgan's fault. He had to go crying to his mother that I hurt him real bad. I didn't really hurt him that much. He just didn't like it because I taught him who was boss-me!
He had done something to get me really mad. I played hooky one day, and Ronny saw me. I made him promise not to tell anyone about seeing me. He said that he wouldn't.
Then I found out that he had told almost everybody in school. I had to fix that little loud mouth. I told him to meet me on the roof of Jennifer's building. She's the one who likes to be filled up with things. When he got there, there were five of us there already.
I told some kids that I was going to teach him a lesson, and they wanted to watch. Ronny has snitched on a lot of people so it was a very big deal that he was finally going to get what he deserved. And I was going to give it to him.
Anyway, Jennifer had made me promise that I would do her first. She wanted me to fill her up with stuff, so that she could feel real good and be ready to watch what I did to Ronny, the fink.
So we were all there, when he came onto the roof. I didn't tell him what was going to happen to him. We all just said that Jennifer and maybe some others were going to play a game with me and the others could watch.
I had already gotten together some stuff that I was going to use to put into everybody. There were a couple of bananas, and a lot of cucumbers that I had snitched from the green grocer. Those things worked okay for awhile, but then they would get too soft from being all wet.
That happened especially when I put them into the girls' fronts. They got wet and soggy very fast.
I also had some other stuff. I had the end from a baseball bat, that one of the boys had tooled down and made real smooth in shop class. There were a couple of broom handles, too. These looked really thin compared to the baseball bat.
The baseball bat was pretty thick. I would never use that on someone I was filling up for the first time. That could be used later.
Jennifer really liked, the baseball bat, though. She was always ready to play with me so she could feel the thing inside of her.
She wanted me to use it on her that day. 1 didn't want to, though. Sometimes it's better to not give someone exactly what they want.
It keeps them around you, waiting for what they're really after.
Anyway, there we all were, on the roof: Jennifer wanted to be first. So I told her to go ahead. She immediately took off her underwear, and pulled up her skirt to her waist. She tucked her skirt inside of its own waistband.
I could see that Ronny and some of the other kids were really shocked at the way she did it. It was so fast and so natural. She wasn't blushing or anything.
Jennifer waited for me to start to do what I wanted to with her. I told her to he down on the roof. She did it immediately. Then I told her to spread her legs as far apart as they would go.
One of the girls, Mary, said that she wanted to go home all of a sudden. She headed for the door to the stairs. Well, I didn't let her get very far. I grabbed her by the hair and pulled her back to where good old Jennifer was lying on the roof. I told her that because she had been so bad, she would have to take the next turn at being filled up.
Of course she started to cry. Girls like that always do.
Jennifer was getting impatient. I told dumb Mary to shut up and stop crying. I would figure out what to do with her later. So she went back to the crowd of kids, sobbing.
I had to start on Jennifer before she lost the urge. I really didn't think that she would, but I hurried anyway.
Jennifer started to giggle and squirm around as I took a real big cucumber and came toward her with it. She had her legs open real wide. She was ready for it.
The other kids were so quiet, that no one was even breathing very loud. They were all watching to see what was going to happen. Of course, they were also looking at Jennifer's pink private parts. They had a good close look at them.
She was getting more and more giggly, the closer I got to her with the big cucumber. She kept telling me to hurry up, but I don't take orders from nobody. So I took my time.
When I finally did get to her with the big thing she was lifting her hips up so that I could get a better angle on her hole. But I didn't need her to help me.
I rubbed the tip of the cucumber on the outside of her pussy for awhile. That's not a swear word, is it? I rubbed it there because that got Jennifer to move around even more.
I didn't play with her for long, though-. I took the end of it and put it right at her opening. I took one hand, and spread apart the sides of her thing so that I could get inside of her.
Then, all at once, I shoved as hard as I could. The cucumber went into her part of the way. Jennifer yelled, and squirmed her hips around a lot. All the other kids gasped out loud. Most of them had never seen anything like this before.
I knew that I wasn't all the way up inside of her. So I got ready to push even harder into her. She arched up her back so I could do it easier.
Then I pushed real hard. We could all see the cucumber go inside of her farther and farther. She must have gotten wet inside, because it started to move easier all of a sudden.
Jennifer looked like she was having a good time. Well, I couldn't let that happen: I had to do something to make her a little uncomfortable. Otherwise, the kids would think that I was going soft.
I made Jennifer stand up. She looked very funny with her legs apart and the cucumber hanging part way out of her. She looked like a boy with this thing dangling between his legs.
I started to laugh. No one else did. They were too scared that this would happen to them.
I made Jennifer bend over. I went and got a banana, and started to shove it up her rear end. Mary started to cry again. Both Jennifer and I told her to shut up at the same time.
I kept right on moving the banana into her rear end. She squirmed around. I had gotten it into her so that it stayed there by itself. Jennifer was kind of moaning by now. That didn't stop me, though.
I made her stand up straight again. She was really a sight.
There she was with a cucumber hanging out from her front hole, and a banana sticking out of her back hole. It was really a riot to see her. But nobody laughed except me.
I told her she would have to stay that way for awhile. Then I started to work on crybaby Mary.
She was crying a whole lot when I pulled down her pants. I told her to shut up or I would be a lot harder on her. She tried to stop, but she was still whining.
I had taken a banana, and was trying to get up inside of her front with it. She kept moving around to make it real hard for me to do. I told Ronny to come and help me. He didn't dare refuse.
He sat on her while I opened up her pussy with my hand. I stuck the banana in right away. It didn't go very far, because she wasn't wet like Jennifer.
She was crying like crazy. But I went right ahead and forced the banana in as far as I could. It wasn't very far, but it was far enough to make her real uncomfortable.
It was wonderful. I looked from her to Jennifer. There they were. Both of them filled up like that. It made me feel really good to see them, and to know that I was the one who had filled them up.
It was like this was the way that things were supposed to be. We shouldn't be walking around with all these holes in our bodies. They should be filled up with something.
Now that I was rolling, I didn't want to stop. I told that cry baby, Mary, to stay exactly where she was and to not move a muscle. If she did, I told her I would shove things into both of her openings, all the way up. She kept whimpering, but she didn't move.
Then I knew that it was Ronny's turn. I needed to get to him, not only because he deserved it, but because I had to fill him up. Now, I really couldn't stop myself.
I wanted to fill up the holes of everyone on that roof. I could actually see in my mind's eye, all of their little holes just waiting for me to fill them up with something.
It was very exciting. I was having a wonderful time. All these kids would do exactly what I wanted them to. They listened to me. They let me fill them up. No one dared to go against me or to ignore me.
I wish people would always notice me like they were doing then. They made me feel important. They listened to me and made me feel important like I never did anywhere else. My family never made me feel this way.
I was on cloud nine. All those little holes were going to be filled by me.
I couldn't stop now. I had to get to Ronny and all the rest of them right away. I practically threw Ronny on the ground. I had to wrestle with him to get him to open his pants.
Finally, I got his pants pulled down. He was really scared. I didn't waste any time. I got a broom stick and started to work on him right away.
Boy, did he ever yell at first. But I told him that he better shut up quick. And he did.
I worked on him for awhile. Then I couldn't help but think of all those other kids who were there. So I left Ronny with the broom handle in him and went to work on the others.
I filled up six kids that day.
It was really a scene. There were all of these kids, with their pants pulled down, and all of them filled up. There were banana ends and cucumbers and broom sticks sticking out everywhere you looked. It was wonderful.
But then all my fun was spoiled. The creepy super from the building came up onto the roof. I guess he had heard all the noise. Boy was he surprised.
He started yelling and everybody tried to run away. It was pretty hard to do since most of them, all of them, had these things sticking out of them. It was very funny.
Boys and girls were reaching for the things that I had stuffed inside of them. Everyone was trying to put on their underwear and pants again. It was total confusion. I couldn't help but laugh at it all.
I don't know what all the excitement was really about. I thought that I had done them a great favor. I thought that it was a wonderful thing to be filled up like that.
They should have thanked me instead of getting so mad at me. But I guess it was just the same old story. No one ever appreciates me.
Anyway, the super told everyone what had happened. Then, Ronny's parents called the juvenile court to report me. Then they called my parents, and it really got wild.
So that's why I'm here. All I did was do them a favor, really. That's what I think.
Sometimes I like the feeling of being filled up more than anything else in he world. I love to see those kids with their holes all stuffed up. I can't help myself. I have to see it.
I have to do it to myself, too. Yeah, I like to feel that filled up stuff just like I think the other kids do. I use the same stuff on myself that I use on them.
I guess I didn't really want to talk about this. It's hard to know what to say. Maybe I shouldn't say anything at all.
You probably want to know when all of this started. Well, it's a little hard for me to remember, it was a long time ago.
I first got the idea that it would feel good to be stuffed up in my holes when I saw my parents doing it. Yeah, I saw them having intercourse, is that right?
I couldn't believe that when my father put that big thing into my mother that she seemed to like it so much. It looked like all of it would never fit. But it did, and she was sure enjoying herself.
I wanted to enjoy myself the way that Mother was doing. But most of all, I wanted my father to pay all of that attention to me that she was getting. I felt ignored.
I figured out that if he liked doing that to her so much, if I showed him that I could do the same thing, maybe he would pay more attention to me. My father would have to notice me if I were stuffed with something and enjoying myself like Mother was.
I had it all planned. I was going to get my father to come into my bedroom. The excuse I would use was going to be a broken window that had to be fixed. First, I had to break the window. That was easy enough.
When he came into the room, I wanted him to see me with something stuffed in me. That way he would notice me and know that I could do what Mother could do for him.
I didn't know what to use, to put inside me. I looked all over. It had to be thick, kind of, and it had to be long. It was a real problem.
I had already broken the window, and Father was going to come into my room later on in the day, to fix it. I didn't have much time. What was I going to use. I hunted frantically.
By chance, I found myself in the bathroom. I glanced around as I sat on the can, thinking of what I could use. Then I saw it. A shampoo bottle. It was perfect.
It was one of those plastic ones. It had a long pretty thick neck, before it widened out into the big round part at the bottom. I thought that the shape of it was perfect. I grabbed it and ran to my bedroom.
There was no time to practice with it. It would have to be done just right the first time around for Dad. I was very excited. I wasn't scared or anything about putting it up in me.
I was sure that Dad would be really pleased with me. He would have to see immediately that I was doing the right thing. He would also see that I was doing it for him.
I got myself all ready for him. I took off my little play shorts and my underwear. I lay down on the bed. The shampoo bottle was in my hand. All I was waiting for, was him to walk through the door.
His footsteps came closer and louder down the hallway. I stopped breathing for awhile, I was so excited.
Then the door opened and there he was. I had the bottle right at the opening to my privates. When I saw him, I opened my legs and tried to push it in.
It hurt me, but I didn't stop. I worked it around until the neck of it went at least halfway into me. I watched Dad all the time that I was doing it.
His face was wonderful. He was shocked at first. No words came out when he opened his mouth to speak. Like a statue, he stood there and watched my push the shampoo bottle into my pussy.
Then I told him that I was doing this for him. Dad looked at me with great surprise, still but as I kept working the bottle around in me, he began to smile. He closed the door behind him and locked it. He came to the bed and continued to watch me.
He was giving me more attention than I had had in all the rest of my life in those few minutes. Dad was actually looking at me with love in his eyes.
I was in heaven!
I wanted him to touch me. I stopped working at the bottle with my hands. It stayed sticking out of me while I let my hands go limp over my head. Dad just kept smiling at me.
Then he reached down and pulled the bottle out. It hurt a little because he took it out so fast. But I didn't mind. Then he told me to shut my eyes. I did what he told me to do.
I felt him getting on the bed. I heard his zipper make noise like he was pulling it down. Then my father was suddenly on top of me.
I felt a hard thing that was covered with soft skin. I knew that it must be his man's thing that was out of his pants.
He told me to be very quiet. He said that this was going to feel better than the shampoo bottle. I felt something poking at the entrance to my pussy. It pushed harder and harder until I felt the sides of me go apart from the force of it.
I wanted to open my eyes, but Dad wouldn't let me. He was grunting and breathing hard. I felt the hurt in my very stomach, as his thing went farther and farther into me. It was as if I was completely filled up. There was nothing else that would have fit inside of me except Daddy.
It was hurting me a lot and I almost cried, but I didn't. I wanted Dad to know that I was loving having him fill me up like this. It was the most wonderful feeling I had ever had.
The most important thing was that my father was paying attention to me and me alone. He was on top of me with his thing filling me up. He loved me. I finally was sure.
My father was hurting me more and more because he kept moving his big thing in and out of me. He moved it very fast. He was starting to make even more noise.
Then all of a sudden he really jabbed it way back into me. I couldn't help myself. I yelled out loud. Dad kept it way up there for awhile longer.
It suddenly felt all wet in there. I thought that he was peeing inside of me. But it wasn't really like that because I felt his thing spurting into me. It wasn't a stream like pee is.
The stuff that he was putting inside of me was hot. There seemed to be a lot of it.
Dad wasn't moving anymore. But he was holding onto my shoulders very tightly. He had his fingers in an iron grip on them. His whole body was stiff. But as the wet stuff in me stopped flowing, he began to relax.
He lay on top of me for awhile. My pussy hurt so badly, that it throbbed with pain. He was still stuffed up into me but I could feel that his thing was different. It was softer than it was before.
Then my father started to pull himself out of me. It hurt me too, even though he was pulling out. The feeling of emptiness that he was leaving behind as he went out was terrible.
I begged him not to take it out of me. But he only told me to keep quiet. I didn't want him to go. I was afraid that I would feel empty like this forever, when he got all the way out of me.
But he did take it all the way out of me. I cried. I felt so lost and alone. The pain that I felt was nothing compared to the emptiness. I wanted him to fill me up again. I wanted it so badly.
He told me to keep my eyes shut. I was crying so hard that I couldn't have opened them anyway. I felt his weight go off me and off the bed. His zipper made a sound again.
I was all alone. My father didn't love me anymore. He was gone. He had taken himself out of me.
He told me not to tell anyone what had happened. I begged him to do it again. But he told me right then and there that he would never do that again. He was suddenly the cold father that I had known before. He wasn't warm and close like he had been when he was inside of me.
I cried for a long time. I would never be filled up by my father again. I wanted him to show me he loved me so much. But he wouldn't ever again. All he was worried about was that I might tell somebody. That made me angry. Why should I tell anybody what we had done. It was so wonderful, I didn't want to share it with anybody else.
Anyway, I guess that's when it all started. I wanted that feeling of being filled up by him again. It had been so wonderful. I guess I was trying to get it back.
Other kids were perfect to play with. I could fill them up so that I could see what my father hadn't let me watch while he was inside of me. I wanted to see how it looked.
I never saw my father's thing, except for the time I had seen him and Mother together. I was sure that he was much more beautiful than the boys that I was playing with.
I want him to love me so badly. It filled me up so wonderfully and so much. When he was in me, I felt that nothing could ever harm me. I know it hurt, but I felt secure anyway.
I didn't take a bath for as long as I could help it. The wet stuff that he had left in me had a special smell. I wanted it for as long as I could have it on me. There was also some blood. It must have been from all the pain.
He never acted any differently toward me after that time. As a matter of fact, he was even more far away from me. It seemed as though he liked me even less after what we had done. I was very lonely.
I thought that I was doing the right thing by letting Daddy put his thing inside of my pussy. But all I seemed to do was to lose him again. I keep trying to get that feeling back. The feeling that he gave me was warm and secure.
He filled me up. My father made me feel all filled up inside, and I was, with his thing.
I want that feeling again. What I get when I stick things into other kids' holes isn't the same. It helps, but it's not the same. Even when I stick stuff up my own holes, it only feels kind of filled up. It's not complete like when my father did it to me.
CONCLUSION
This young woman's case is a tragic example of what not having enough parental love will do. She needed her father desperately. Then, when he only used her once for fornication, and then seemingly discarded her, it left her with that terrible feeling of emptiness.
The girl needs to be shown love. She needed love and admiration from both her parents. They, however, failed miserably, and turned their daughter into a bully. She is trying to fill up herself with love, while she fills up others' genitals.
The treatment for this girl will include sexual therapy with this psychologist. She will be taught that she can be filled up sexually by a man who will not abandon her. This will undoubtedly help her self image.
CASE HISTORY FIVE
Subject: Donald R. Age: Fourteen
INTERVIEW ONE
This young patient came to me accompanied by his brother, who is seven years older than he. Their father is a widower, the mother having been deceased for only a year. The older brother is concerned about this boy and does not want to burden the father with any additional problems after his wife's death. He has brought the boy to me for an evaluation.
The boy appears bright and well-adjusted at first glance. He is physically very well developed for a fourteen-year-old. His muscular build shows him to be an athlete of some talent. He has good looks and a pleasant manner. He is more mature than the average boy his age.
The presenting problem is that the boy masturbates to excess. Evidently, the teachers have complained of his self-stimulation in class. The older brother is concerned about this, and both boys decided to seek help in this matter.
I don't really know why I do it. I don't know why I do it so much. Most of the time, it seems like I don't even think about playing with myself, and suddenly, I'm just doing it.
It gets to be really embarrassing sometimes. Like when the teachers in class see me, they all think that I'm crazy. It's a good thing that I have good grades, or they'd probably just throw me out of school.
This kind of stuff didn't start until about a year ago. It seems like all of a sudden, I was just playing with myself everywhere. I even do it on the train.
When people notice me, they think that I'm some kind of nut for doing it. And I don't know why I keep it up. It is real embarrassing. I know how I feel about those old creepy men that you see in subway stations, and there I am, doing the same thing.
I was always popular in school until I started doing this stuff. I play on the little league baseball and football teams. All the girls used to really go for me. But it seemed like I never had too much time for them. Not with practice and all.
Now that I would like to have a girlfriend, it seems like no one wants to go out with me. I guess the word about me playing with myself has gotten around. No one wants to go out with a creep. I guess I'm becoming a creep.
It was different when Mom was alive.
My dad doesn't know what's going on with me. He has caught me a couple of times. He caught me once when I was getting ready to go to a football game.
I had my uniform all on and everything. I looked pretty good, even to me. Anyway, I was looking at myself in the mirror. Before I knew what was happening, I had my dong in my hand, and I was pumping it.
Well, Dad came in right behind me. I guess he must have watched me for a minute, and then he talked. I was scared out of my wits. He was okay about it.
He said that sometimes men had to do that. He suggested that I do it behind locked doors, so I wouldn't ever be disturbed again when I had to do it. Then he left. I guess he thought that I would finish up.
I did finish myself. I pumped my dong until the gism shot out onto the mirror. It dribbled all the way down the reflection of myself.
I played a good game that day. I was the star. This all happened not long after Mom had died. We were all trying to go on with our lives.
We never talked much about Mom's dying.
I don't remember what I was thinking about when I was playing with myself that day. I don't usually remember. Whenever I get caught by someone, it's like they're waking me up from a sleep. I can't remember what I was doing.
The only way that I know what has been going on is because I've got my dong in my hand. And the look on the face of whoever has caught me is also a dead giveaway.
People either look shocked or disgusted. It's always one or the other.
My dad has caught me some other times besides. He has never made a big deal of it. The only times he gets upset is if I do it out of the house.
One time, I was sitting on the front stoop, you know, hanging around. There were kids playing in the street, and it was summer, just nice.
But then, all of a sudden, I remember a strong hand on my shoulder, and my body practically lifted up. A jacket was thrown across my lap. I didn't know what was going on.
It was my father. He was all red in the face. We went into the apartment. He wanted to know what I was doing there in public with my dong hanging out like a bum.
I tried to explain to him that I didn't remember doing anything, but that made him really mad. He thought I was lying to him. But I really wasn't. I didn't know that I had it out or that I was feeling it.
He told me never to do it again. My brother Russ said that Dad was having a hard time trying to raise both of us, now that Mom was gone.
Russ told me to go easy on Dad, and not rile him. Well, I don't want to rile him. I want to be good. There is just no way I have of knowing when I start to play with myself.
There was one time when I was at a school -dance, when it was really awful.
The dance had gone okay, and I was having an all right time and stuff. There were chaperons all over the place.
Well, I was fine until I got near to the coat room where all of the grown-ups were hanging around. There were a lot of mothers there.
They were all kind of fat and soft-looking. I was just standing there, watching them. I guess I thought that if my mom were alive, she would be there too.
Anyway, I was just looking into the coat room at all the parents and all of a sudden, one of the mothers let out a real loud gasp. Whatever she did made everybody else turn around and look at me.
The next thing I knew, a bunch of fathers had grabbed me and pulled me into a corner. They were all talking at once. One of them was even laughing a little.
I remember feeling someone's hand on my dong, and then there was some cursing.
What had happened was that I guess I had been standing there, in front of those mothers, playing with myself. When the fathers had taken me over to a corner, they tried to get my stiff dong back into my pants.
But when one of the men's hands touched it, I squirted off all over him. He was the one who was doing the cursing. I guess he was pretty upset, that I got my gism all over his suit.
That was a pretty bad scene. It was after that when a lot of girls stopped wanting to be around me. I guess their parents had told them what I had done. I felt pretty bad about that, since I knew they were talking about me behind my back.
I thought about how bad my father would feel when he found out about it. I was real ashamed. But you know, I didn't know what was going on while I was doing it.
I didn't know I was playing with my dong while 1 was looking at those women. It's so strange that it frightens me sometimes. Why do I feel like I'm in a dream when someone tells me that I've been playing with myself.
This is messing up my whole life. My brother even has to fight with people about me. They're starting to say that I'm weird and a sex creep. I don't want that to happen. What will my father say when he finds out?
I don't want to do this anymore. It's scary. I wish that my mother were here. This never happened when she was alive. My dong never caused me this kind of trouble before. Maybe I am just a sick creep.
Maybe I should be locked up somewhere. Every time I think about all the times I've been caught, I get sick.
One time, I was just standing by one of those churches in Brooklyn where all the old ladies go to play Bingo, and two cops picked me up. I was real scared! They put me in the back of the police car and everything!
They asked me if I wanted to go to the mental hospital. I, of course, didn't know what they were talking about. They were saying all kinds of terrible things about me.
I tried to get them to tell me what was wrong, but they just ignored me. They said things like they thought I should know better than to do something like that. That's when I got an idea of what they were talking about.
I must have been standing on the street playing with myself when they picked me up. I started to get terrified. I was afraid that they would take me to jail or something.
But then one of the cops got in the back seat with me. The other one drove somewhere down by some warehouses near the river. I didn't say a word.
When the cop car stopped, the one in the back seat with me said that he wanted to see how good I was. I asked him what he meant by that, and he just laughed. They thought the whole thing was very funny.
Anyway, he took my hand and put it on his crotch. I could feel him through his clothes. I pulled my hand away real fast! They both started to laugh again. The one in the front seat had turned around and was watching everything.
The cop next to me unzipped his pants. He told me to take out his dong. I said no. I didn't want to handle his dong. I thought that would be terrible to do! But he said that if I didn't do what he said they would take me to jail.
Then they asked me how I would like it if my family knew about what they had caught me doing on the street. I thought about how angry and hurt my father would be... I decided that I better try to do what they wanted me to.
I kind of tried to reach for his dong. I really couldn't get interested in even looking interested. The cop took my hand and pushed it inside of his pants. His dong was already half stiff when I felt it.
I finally got it out of his pants. I didn't know what to do with it. He told me to suck on it. I was really scared then! I didn't want to suck on his thing! I was almost a man! I played on the football team!
It would be acting like a sissy to suck on his dong. That was what women were supposed to do to men!
But when I thought about my father being told what I had one by these two cops, I got even more scared. I knew that I would have to do whatever they wanted me to do.
They kept telling me to put it in my mouth. I finally did. It tasted horrible! It smelled like what we called "sock rot" in the locker room.
I almost got sick!
But he pushed my head down on his lap. His dong went right up inside of my mouth. It was way at the back of it. I thought I was going to heave ... but I really tried to control myself, and I did.
He was moving his hips up and down so that his dong went in and out of my mouth. If I didn't keep my mouth tightly enough around his thing, he would reach down and squeeze my balls. He did it hard too!
So to keep from getting hurt, I kept my mouth pretty hard on his dong while he pushed it in and out of my mouth.
I was just trying to hold on. I was trying to make it until he finished. It was like torture! I didn't want this kind of fat old cop to have his thing in my mouth. It was really a lot embarrassing!
Pretty soon, he came! It was awful. All of his gism, well, a lot of it, got into my mouth. I really thought that it was all over for me. I was going to be sick.
But when he squeezed my balls again, it was so hard that I swallowed all of his stuff. I hated it!
Both cops were laughing like mad! They were having a great time, those pigs! I had his junk dripping down my face! I would never forgive him for that!
The other cop wanted a turn too. The thought of having to suck him off too really made me sick. But that's not what he wanted me to do. Instead, he told me to take off my pants and my underwear.
I told him no. Then we went through the whole threat thing again. I, naturally, ended up agreeing that I should do what he wanted me to. I thought that it couldn't be any worse than the first cop, and I had lived through that.
But I was wrong! I found out that what this second cop wanted to do was worse than the first one!
I took off my pants and my underwear. I was just sitting there in the back of the cop car with everything wide open to their staring eyes.
They looked at my dong...they picked it up, felt it, and kind of played around with it. They asked me if that was what I liked to do when I whacked off alone. They made a lot of dirty jokes.
I was scared, but I was angry too. What right had they to do this to me? I wasn't hurting anybody! I didn't kill anybody. All those people were right who said that all the police did was coddle criminals and hassle the good citizens. I heard my father say that.
Anyway, the second cop told me to get on my knees on the back seat and put my head on the armrest of the door. I didn't want to do it because that would put my ass right up in the air. But that's what he wanted, so that's what I did.
I could feel him rubbing around with his finger by the hole in my rear. I was afraid of what he was going to do. He stuck part of his finger in me. It hurt!
The other cop gave him something and I could hear a wrapper being taken off. It must have been a rubber. Then I felt some cold cream-like stuff being rubbed on my hole. I had a good idea of what was going to happen when I heard one of them tell the other that his hard-on was good enough to start.
Sure enough, it was like I thought... he was going to put his dong inside my rear! Oh, man, was I ever scared! I knew that was going to hurt!
I was right! I felt a lot of pain when he pushed his dong into me. I thought I was going to faint! This creep wasn't taking his time at all! He was just jamming his thing into my hole as hard as he could!
I started to cry!
I was hurting, but I was also humiliated! What a put-down, to be taking it in the rear by another man!
It seems like he pushed and shoved into me for a long time. The other cop kept telling him to give it to me and to do it good, and all that kind of stuff.
He finally came inside of me. I didn't feel too much of his stuff because he was wearing that rubber. I was really glad when it was over.
I felt him shrinking up. It was better when he was soft. It still hurt, though, because I was being stretched so much. But at least, he didn't stay inside of me too long after he was finished.
He pulled out fast. That gave me a final blast of pain as he did it. I was still crying a little. That creep had really gotten me.
They were still just laughing about it. They told me to get dressed. It hurt when I put my ass down, but I did anyway. I wanted to get dressed as soon as I could. They seemed to not care about fooling with me anymore.
I guess these cops just wanted to get their rocks off and I had done it for them. That was a rotten thing to do to me. They were rotten!
When I was dressed, they told me to get out of the car. I didn't know where I was. They didn't care. They told me to get going before they arrested me! I took off. I didn't know where I was going, I just went.
Yeah, this thing of my playing with myself without knowing what I'm doing is really a problem. It was never like this when my mother was alive. Everything was fine, then.
I was very close to her. We did a lot of things together. She did stuff with my brother too, but it wasn't really the same. I was closer to my mother and Russ, my brother, is closer to my father.
My mother and I did things that we didn't do with anyone else. I liked to be with her. We were really friends. I guess some people would say that I was a momma's boy, but I really wasn't.
I was never a sissy. I just let my mother do a lot of things with me. She was so nice that it was fun. Some guys have mothers they hate. I didn't... mom was really cool.
We did some things together that I know most other guys didn't do with their mothers. We would take baths together. We would never do it if we knew that my brother or father was going to be home.
It was fun! We would get into the tub together, mother and I, and we would enjoy ourselves. We never did anything bad. All that would happen is that she would wash me. It was just the same thing that she had done when I was a kid, that's all.
She would let me lie back in the tub and relax. She would tell me to rest. Then she would sing a soft kind-of lullaby to me.
Mother would kneel toward me between my legs while she washed my hair and rinsed it. She did everything. She soaped me up all over and rinsed me off too.
I loved it! It was like being taken care of completely.
She would wash me all over. She soaped my chest and arms and shoulders with a thick, white lather. It felt wonderful!
When she got to my hips and my dong and things, she would work up an extra thick lather. Sometimes I would get stiff when she washed me there. But mother never paid any attention to it.
She took my hard dong in her hands and soaped it all up. She washed my balls and my ass, right to the hole and everything. Usually, my hard-on would be so big that I had to come. She would always take care of that for me too.
Mother would just keep massaging and washing my hard dong until I could feel the tingling sensation start. I would squirt all over her breasts. I would watch the creamy stuff shoot out of me and land on her nipples.
She would just keep singing like nothing was happening. I loved being able to come like this. I felt so secure. The warm water was all around me and mother was right there taking care of me.
She would have done anything for me. Baths were some of my favorite times, though. It felt so private and so good to be with her there. I loved to come that way too.
When I had shot off, she would rinse off my ding in the warm, soapy water. Her hands would rub all over me to get the gism off.
Then she would wash herself too.
Sometimes she would let me help to wash her, but not very often. She said that it was my bath and that I should be the one to enjoy it. But I told her that I would enjoy touching her too. So every once in a while, she would let me wash her.
I liked that. I wanted to touch her soft skin. Mother was a little fat, but not much. She was more soft than she was fat. I loved to touch her.
When I would soap her up in the bathtub, she would hum like she was very happy. I liked making her happy. I would glide my soapy hands across those big breasts of hers ... she would smile. I knew that she liked it.
Whenever I got up enough nerve, I would wash her down there on her crotch. That was always wonderful and mysterious. I had never felt anything as soft or as velvety as my mother's privates. Past all her hair was the softest place in the world.
She would close her eyes and moan really quietly when I touched her there. I loved the feel of her. There were times when I got a couple of fingers into her hole. Mother would move around on them a little.
I knew that she came a couple of times when I touched her there on her privates. I was proud that I could please my own mother that way.
After baths, getting dried off was just as much fun as taking the bath itself. Mother would get the big, soft towels and dry me all over. She would dry every part of me.
She would start with my head and work her way down. She always touched everything lightly right down to my toes first. Then she went back to my dong and that part of my body. Mother spent a long time drying me there!
She would take my dong and put it in the towel to dry it. It was so soft in there that I would usually start to get hard again. Mother would rub on me until I was ready to come off again. Then she would get another small towel and wrap it around my dong which would stand straight out from my body.
I would come while she kept rubbing up and down on my dong. Mother did it perfectly ... like she always did.
I guess me and mother had been taking baths that way since I was a kid. I can't remember a time when we never took baths together like that.
That's why I miss my mother so much... we always did things like that together...
I remember once a couple of years ago ... I guess it wasn't too long before died ... when I hurt myself pretty badly while I was playing hockey. Someone's skate blade had gashed open a big cut on my leg. I had to have stitches and everything.
Well, I felt miserable and I had to stay home from school for a while. I liked that because that meant that I could be home with mother all day.
I was in a lot of pain, though, so she was trying to take my mind off of it. She made me stay in bed with the television set in front of me. She would bring me whatever I wanted.
It didn't seem to be enough, though. I was being very bad and I was whining a lot. I wanted her to really comfort me. I wanted to be babied, I guess.
Anyway, she finally gave up on everything else and came and sat by me on the bed. She asked if I wanted her to read to me. I was rotten and said that she didn't love me enough to make me feel better.
Well, I'm sure that I had hurt her. She crawled under the blankets with me. She reached for me with her arms and held me close to her soft body. I loved it!
She began to let her hands go around on my body. She found my dong and started to rub it. It felt so good when she did it. Even I didn't whack myself off as well as she did it to me.
After mother had gotten a good stiff dong on me, she did something new. She put her head down under the covers. I didn't know what was going on at first... but I found out in a hurry!
I felt her take my dong in her hands and bring it towards her mouth. I could hardly believe it! Mother started to kiss my stiff dong! It felt like heaven! Her touch was so soft and so beautiful that I thought I would come right then!
But mother knew that ... she stopped for a minute. She waited until I calmed down a little ... she was stroking my forehead with one hand as she kept the other one just lying on my crotch.
I got control again after a while. I knew I wasn't going to shoot off right away. Mother knew it at the same time that I did. She went back to kissing me lightly on the tip of my dong.
It sure did make me forget about the pain in my leg! To feel mother's lips on me down there, I would have taken another hockey skate in the leg!
After she had kissed me there for a while, I was ready to shoot again. This time she said that I should finish it by myself. She would stay and watch in case I needed some help.
Naturally, I wished that she would have brought me off herself, but I did what she told me to. It was better to have her right there watching me than to just whack off alone.
Mother had a towel with her that she spread underneath my dong so the stuff would land in the towel and not on the bed. She seemed to always be prepared for everything.
I started to rub my dong with one hand. Mother watched me. She hummed another little lullaby while I worked on myself. It was a very comfortable way to do myself.
It made me feel good to have mother right there watching me while I made the creamy stuff come out of me. I spurted it all into the towel. Mother helped to catch it all in there.
Near the end of it, she rubbed my balls for me to get out all the last drops of my come. Mother was really wonderful to me that way. She knew what to do.
For all the time I stayed home with that bad leg, mother and I did that kind of thing every day. She would always help me to get off in one way or another.
One time, she even got undressed herself and let me put it between her legs. She didn't let me go inside of her hole. She just let me shoot off while I had my dong between the top part of her legs.
She held her legs tightly together while I rubbed my dong in and out of them. I could feel her crotch hairs scratching along the top of my dong as I moved.
I came a lot that time. That was the closest I had gotten to her privates when I was hot. I remember when she got up to get cleaned up, I could see the wet stuff that I had shot out all down the backs of her legs.
It made me feel wonderful to see that.
Whenever we did that kind of thing, Mother would always tell me that she was teaching me how to be a man only to have some ingrate shicksa grab me for a husband. I promised her that I would never marry.
Mother said that I would, and that I would forget all about her when I did. That hurt me to hear that. I love my mother very much. I couldn't see giving her up for anybody.
The rotten joke of it all is that I never got a chance to show her that I wouldn't leave her. She had to go and die on me! I wish she was still here!
I want my mother!!!
It was so good when she was here! Now there's nobody to take care of me the way that she did! I don't get held anymore! No one makes my body feel good anymore!
I want to take a bath with her again! I want her to feel my dong again! She was the only one who knew what to do for me to make me feel good!
What am I going to do without her? I've been trying for a year, but it doesn't get any better, it just gets worse! I need my mother!
You're the first person that I've told any of this to, doctor, you've got to help me! What am I going to do?
I don't want my father or my brother... it's not the same with them. I know they try, but I like to have older women around. I love to visit my aunts. But they don't do the things that my mother did for me!
I'm so lost and alone. Mother could make me feel so much better if she was here! Why did she have to go away so soon? Why did she have to leave me? I keep looking for her, you know. I think that maybe it's all not true, it's just some dream.
Maybe someday I'll be walking down the street and she'll be there, just like she used to be! Oh, how I wish that would happen to me! I want her back!
I don't know if that's why I play with myself so much. I guess maybe it reminds me of her a lot... she always did it to me so well.
If I could stop playing with myself I wouldn't get into so much trouble, and maybe I wouldn't think of mother so much anymore. It's when I'm in trouble that I think of her the most... that's when she would make me feel the best.
What am I going to do, doctor? ... CONCLUSION
This patient is obviously on the brink of an acute schizophrenic break. He is living in a world of magical thinking and macabre memories. He has made his mother the symbol for everything good that has ever happened to him. Now that she is gone, he sees no way to be happy on his own.
The extreme comforts that she afforded her son have left him a sexual cripple. He equates security with having an orgasm. When he sees older women, he is compelled to masturbate because a mother figure and penis stimulation mean security to him. This is what he is searching for.
The treatment plan should include sex therapy with a woman near his own age. He should be given opportunities for complete intercourse with a young woman. Hopefully, he will begin to distinguish between security of the mother and sexual stimulation.
CASE HISTORY SIX
Subject: Beverly G. Age: Sixteen
INTERVIEW ONE
This girl was referred to me by the court for psychological evaluation after she attacked her brother with a knife. The boy's wounds were minor, but she vowed to attack to kill next time. Under such conditions, the court decided that her mental status needed to be evaluated.
She is an attractive girl of slender build. Her eyes appear to have a strong, piercing quality about them. She appears to be a bit jaded and worn for her sixteen years. Her outlook on life appears to be a rather droll one. She sees the hypocrisy of situations easily.
The family structure consists of alcoholic parents, a sister one year older than herself, and the brother whom she attacked, who is twenty. It is reported .that she and her sister have a very close relationship.
INTERVIEW ONE
Listen, I would do it all over again if I had the chance! Phil, that pig brother of mine, is going to get his some day. I just hope that 111 be around to see it! As a matter of fact, I'd like to rid the earth of him myself!
I don't care if I had to spend the rest of my life in jail. It isn't that bad in there. It would be worth it! He's such a pig!
No one understands that what he did was really terrible! He deserved to get stabbed. I only regret that I didn't do a good enough job to finish him off!
You know what that monster tried to do? He tried to rape my sister after he tried to rape me! Can you believe a pig like that?
Well, I shouldn't expect anything different from that family. After all, he's my father's son! My parents are both so drunk all the time that they wouldn't know if us kids set the whole apartment on fire right around them!
My sister, Flo, and I are the only sane ones in that family ... believe me, it's true! Ask anybody. They call the family a bunch of nuts except for my sister and me.
My parents are always drunk. They haven't had a sober minute in the past ten years! And Phil, that dumb brother of mine, is always hopped up on whatever the latest drug is. He's been all through the psychedelics, and the downs, and smack, and the ups ... he's taken everything!
Flo and me only smoke a little grass every now and then. We still have our heads together. I don't know how we do it in that zoo that we live in!
If we didn't have each other, we would have cracked up a long time ago. I know that for sure. We've always only had each other to lean on. There was no one else.
Anyway, that doesn't make any difference for what's happening now. The court is trying to say that I'm bananas because I tried to kill my dummy brother. I think they should give me a medal!
Look, I'm not crazy. I'll just do anything to defend my sister from that creep. Anyone with any sense would do the same thing.
A couple of years ago it was my father who tried to rape us. I had to threaten him with a knife too. He, at least, backed off and hasn't bothered us since. He's always too drunk to get it up anyway.
What happened was that he came home and caught my sister and me in bed together one day. We were fooling around. I must have been about ten or eleven then. We were only kids, we were learning about bodies.
The old man thought that nothing more horrible could happen to us than to touch another girl's body.
He came into the bedroom and started to scream about bringing up two lesbians in his own house. I was scared at first, but then I found out that he was just using that as an excuse.
Good old dad didn't really care who we went to bed with, as long as he got a piece of the action.
So that day when he caught us, he threatened to tell everybody what we were doing unless we let him get into bed with us. Well, scared or not, that sounded pretty fishy. After all, this drunk was our father!
He climbed into bed. He did it so fast that neither one of us had time to jump out. Besides, we didn't have any clothes on and we didn't want him ogling our bodies.
He held both of us down with his arms and legs. He told us not to move or it would be all over for us. We stayed still for a while. We thought that maybe he was bluffing.
He wasn't though. He took out his cock and started to harden himself up. He pulled the covers off of me and grabbed at my tits.
When I tried to get away from him, he went right for my cunt and stuck his fingers in. That's how he held onto me! My own father had me by the cunt and wasn't letting go!
He kept Flo down with one of his legs and a lot of threats. He was trying to work his way over to me where he could get his cock in me instead of his fingers.
Well, he got pretty close to it. He had let Flo go for a minute so that he could get himself between my legs. As he did that, he tried to get his fingers into my sister's cunt like he had done to me.
His cock was hardly even stiff. He was so drunk that he couldn't get a decent hard-on to rape his own daughter! That's how un-together this guy is! Anyway, he doesn't have a very good cock. It's short and kind-of thick.
I thought that his cock looked as red and flabby as his puffy, drunken face did. He sure was a turn-off, in anybody's book!
I felt his crummy cock pressing up against my hole. He didn't get inside of me, but he tried. When I started to freak-out because he was so close to fucking me, Flo leapt up. She had broken his hold on her.
She tried to pull him off me. That helped a little but his body was like a dead weight on me and I still couldn't move. But Flo didn't give up. She kept pestering him. She wouldn't let him get into me.
Finally, he got so mad at her that he got off of me and went after my sister! He trapped her in the corner. She was still naked, like me. He reached out his grimy hand to rub her tit.
I can hardly tell you the feeling that went through me. I felt like throwing up and shooting him at the same time. I ran to where they were and tried to push him away from her. But he used one big arm to toss me aside.
He threw me on the floor. I hit my head against the corner of the dresser. It stunned me for a minute. In that short time, my father had my sister on the floor.
He had her legs spread and he was pushing his cock against her beautiful cunt.
I leapt up and ran to the kitchen as fast as I could. I grabbed the biggest butcher knife that I could find. By the time I got back to the bedroom, he was almost into her. They had been struggling, but now he was in good position.
I yelled for him to get off of her or I would kill him! He stopped and looked up at me. When he saw me with the knife in my hand he started to laugh.
That did it! I saw red ... I really did! I ran toward him with the knife held out in front of me. I would have done it! I would have killed my father for trying to rape my sister!
Anyway, I think that he finally knew that I was serious. He got up quick. I just grazed his shoulder, but I drew blood! He looked really surprised! He just stood there, weaving.
He really looked stupid! There he was with his bloodshot eyes, his puffy face, and his beer belly, with his limp cock hanging out of his pants. What a sight!
We told him to get out of our bedroom. We promised that if he ever tried that again, we would kill him! He might rape one of us, but the other would kill him.
Well, we never had to worry about him again. Oh, he might look at us with pure sex in his eyes. Sometimes he would make dirty comments about us. But he never laid a hand on us again. He knew that we meant what we said.
That's how my sister and I really started our relationship. We found out that day that we meant a lot more to each other than just sisters. We were in love with each other and our bodies.
She turns me on, and I turn her on. We're happy together. We don't need any men. We have each other. What's between us is so very good, I see no reason to ever change.
No one knows us like we do. I've known everything about her for years ... all my life.
Flo is not only my sister, she's a beautiful woman. I would love her if I had met her on the street. The fact that she's my sister, only makes it better.
Flo feels the same way that I do. When we get enough money together, we're going to move out of the house. We'll get a place of our own. That will be wonderful.
You know, there has never been anyone who can make me feel the way that she does. Her body is so soft and warm... it's so wonderful.
When I'm in my sister's arms, nothing can happen to me. That's the way I feel about her. She's warm and she's safe. All our lives, all that we have had is each other.
Her body is really a big turn-on for me. She has some of the nicest tits that I've ever seen on a woman. Her skin is just like velvet... I love to touch it.
We really make love like crazy together. I think that we're lucky we can please each other so well.
Ill give you an example ... Flo is not so hot on oral sex, you know, eating someone out. I love it, though. Flo doesn't mind being eaten, she just doesn't like to do it. I'm just the opposite ... I like to eat her out.
I can get into being eaten, or doing a sixty-nine, but I can live without it too.
Anyway, it works out perfectly. I love to get at her with my tongue, and she loves having me do it to her.
At first, I barely touch her with my tongue. I kind of just blow on her, you know. I let a tiny stream of cool air blow on her. I move it all around the outside of her cunt. This gives her just a little tickle that she loves.
After I get her to the point where she's going bananas with the gentle stream of air on the outside of her cunt, I touch her real gently with my tongue. I don't get her right on the clit the first time. I let my tongue barely touch all on the outside of her.
For a while, I do that and the stream of air. It really turns her on. You should see the way she starts to squirm around. But I take it very slowly with her. I want her to feel and enjoy every bit of it.
All the time I'm doing this stuff, I've got my hands in her cunt hairs and I'm rubbing them around. That pressure right there is something that she really digs.
Pretty soon, I'm ready to move in a little harder on her. I open my mouth and flick my tongue right across her clit. She usually groans like mad!
Then I really start to work on her clit. I go slow at first, but it's firm. I suck her clit right into my mouth and I play with it with my tongue.
Here is where I start using my hands for real!
While I'm sucking and licking at her clit, I take my hand and start to let it rub in her crack. I play around her asshole. I let it go from there, right up to where my mouth is on her clit.
She loves it!
When I know that I've really got her going, I can feel that her clit is getting hard. When that happens, I move on to the next goody I have in store for my sister.
I use a couple of fingers of the hand that I've been playing in her crack with and I put them into her cunt! Yeah, I suck on her at the same time that I'm moving my fingers in her cunt! She really goes wild now!
Pretty soon, I've build up a rhythm. I'm sucking on her with the same beat that I'm ramming her cunt with my fingers. It's great!
I keep doing it until she comes. And boy, does she ever come! It's just a sight to see and to feel with Flo. She really lets go!
When she starts to come, she pushes up with her hips. She stops moving them around like she's been doing and holds them still up in the air. That's when I really ram into her.
She starts to whimper and moan, real softly.
All of a sudden, she slams her hips down on the bed. Then I know that she is coming! Look out, my sister really comes!!
I go at her for all I'm worth. I suck and lick and ram my fingers into her with all the speed that I can get up. She starts to yell!
Every time she has an orgasm, she bucks up her hips and then twists them all around. I stay right with her. Every time her cunt goes up, so does my head. I'd never lose her in the middle of a come ... never!
Flo has come for me up to eight or ten times on one fuck. I keep right on going and bring her off time after time, once I start working on her.
She does the same for me ... she just doesn't eat me out. She has some of the most sensuous hands that I've ever felt, though.
When my sister touches me, nothing else in the world exists for me! She is everything to me!
All she has to do is touch me, or kiss my breasts, or blow in my ear, and I'm in heaven! She uses her hands like the world's best fucking machines. She really knows what to do.
I like to just lie on my back and let her work on me with her hands. It's a wonderful feeling!
She starts out by laying her entire body on top of mine. Our naked skin feels so good pressed together like that, that I can barely stand it!
She kisses me deep and long on the lips. Our tongues go far inside of each other's mouths. We do that for a long time, it seems. We both like it.
Then she slowly rolls part-way off me so that she can rub her hand on me. First, she rubs my tits. She makes the nipples stand right up on end.
They get all wrinkly and small. They're as hard as little nobs when she sucks on them. It's a great feeling! She rolls them around on her lips and sucks on them. She licks my nipples with her tongue so well, that sometimes I have climaxed just from that alone!
Sometimes, while she's still working on my nipples and breasts, she lets her hand go down to my cunt. She starts to play with the hairs first of all.
Flo really fucks me as slow as I do when I eat her. There is no rush ... we enjoy every second of it!
She lets her fingers go real gently all around my cunt. She doesn't go right to my clit immediately. She plays all around the outside first.
This usually makes me very crazy! It's such a light touch, and the sensations are so strong that sometimes I come while she's doing this, too.
After she runs her fingers all around my cunt for a while, she starts to rub very gently against my clit. It's only for a flash at first. She'll barely touch it, and then go on.
I go wild with that! I want to be touched really hard on my clit... but she makes me wait for it! I love it, but it drives me crazy!
Pretty soon, she's touching my clit more and more. She also touches it harder and harder. She keeps darting away from it and then coming back to it.
I start to really move my hips around. She stays right with me the way that I stay with her. She never misses a beat.
By the time she really zeroes in to work on my clit, I'm flying! She presses down on my clit hard and rubs it. At the same time, she gets a finger part way into my cunt hole.
The double sensation of my clit being rubbed and my cunt being gone into turns me into a real moaner and groaner. I get very noisy ... I can't help it.
The rhythm that Flo builds up is so perfect that I start to come in perfect time to her thrusts in me and on my clit. It's like being in perfect time to the crash of waves at the ocean or something.
I pump and grind my hips. I start to come like there's no tomorrow! Flow stays with me.
She goes so fast with her hand that I can't tell one orgasm from the other anymore. 1 feel like I'm in one great sea of sex and pleasure.
There is nothing more that I could want. I come until her hand is soaked with my cunt juices. There is always a huge wet spot on the bed when she finishes with me.
Well, I guess it's obvious to you, and to everybody, that I really love my sister. There is no one else in the world that I can make love with like that.
She's better than anybody I ever fucked before ... she just happens to be my sister and a girl like me.
I don't see why people get so flipped out over girls who are lesbians. We're not killing anybody with it. We're doing our own thing and minding our own business.
That's what really started to piss off both of us with creepy brother Phil. He knew about us... I guess it got pretty obvious to everybody in the apartment. With all the noise that we make fucking, they had to know!
Anyway, Phil always was trying to fix us up with these stud friends of his. He thought, like every moron does, that all we needed was a good stiff cock and we would no longer love each other.
That's such a crazy idea, I can't even stand it. Both my sister and me have fucked with men. In our neighborhood, you tried out sex very early.
By the time we were thirteen, we had fucked with boys. Both of us decided that it wasn't anything terrific. We found out that what we could do to each other was a lot better than what men could do.
Why should we give up good fucking just to sleep with a man? If fucking with a woman was a bad experience, I wouldn't bother. But it's so wonderful, I would never give it up.
Mostly, I would never give up Flo.
Anyway, Phil was always after us to fuck with his friends. He would bring them to the apartment and try to get us into the bedroom with them.
They were mostly creeps that he brought over. These guys all thought that they were the best fucks in the world. But I knew differently.
One night, when I was home alone, Phil came up with two of his crummy friends. I knew what they were up to right away. I could see them giving sly looks and winks to each other.
When I got up to go to the bathroom, I got ambushed when I came out. They had been waiting on each side of the door for me.
They picked me up and carried me to the bedroom. I was kicking like mad. But three strong men are really hard to fight off.
They took off my jeans and my underwear. I was being held spread-eagle on the bed. One of Phil's creepy friends had his dick out and was trying to get it up. It was really funny!
Here are the big studs, trying to rape the lesbian sister of one of them ... and they can't get it up! This guy was trying so hard. He was rubbing it like mad to get it to stand up, but it just hung there.
The guy was real embarrassed... I could tell. So, of course, I just gave him the old horse-laugh. I kept yelling at them all and telling them they were old men.
I wouldn't let them forget that the first guy couldn't get it up. But then the second guy wanted a turn at me. He decided that he would try to get me to suck him off... that way he would get a hard-on.
Well, I told him that if he put his cock anywhere near my mouth, I would bite it iff! He knew that I meant it! Phil tried to convince him to do it anyway, but he wouldn't do it.
The only guy left was my brother. I knew he wouldn't do it in front of his friends. They probably wouldn't think too much of that. I was wrong, though.
Those creeps started telling my brother that he should fuck me!
I called them all perverts and sex-fiends. 1 think I might have even told them that it was against the law for Phil to fuck me. I would have said anything to stop him!
But just then, we heard the apartment door opening. I hoped that it was Flo and not my father. That bastard would have helped these guys rape me.
But it wasn't. It was my mother. We heard her stumble into a chair. She was drunk, as usual.
I called to her anyway. They couldn't fuck me with her around.
The guys dropped me pretty quick. They threw my clothes to me and told me to get dressed.
My mother came to the bedroom door before I had a chance to put on my clothes. She looked around the room bleary eyed and asked what the hell was going on. I told her.
She looked at Phil, then at the others. She told them that the odds weren't very good. She said they would need at least two more guys if they wanted to get anywhere with me.
I couldn't believe it! My own mother was selling me down the river. But I was not completely right.
She turned to go ... the guys were getting ready to leap on me again. But then she suddenly stopped, she looked at Phil, called him a pig and told him to get out with his friends fast.
It was great! Phil looked like he had been struck by lightning. The old lady took a stand! And she gave the clear message that she did not want to be messed with on this one.
The studs slunk out... Ill bet their dicks dragged in the dirt all night after that!
I was surprised that the old lady had come through at all. I didn't think that she would. I guess, it was kind of nice that she did. It's just that it was too little and too late for me to start thinking of her as a real mother.
It's sad, I suppose ... but I'm not going to cry over spilled milk or lost mothers. I've got my sister, Flo, she's all that I need.
So, do you think that I'm screwy, doc? After all, what would you have done if you lived my life? Flo is the only thing worth having... I would have been crazy to want anyone else.
Being in jail while I was waiting to see the judge about this stabbing my brother thing, was some deal! All the women there are so horny, I couldn't believe it!
From the first time I walked in, I saw women and girls fucking together in the bunks in each cell. They're very open about it, did you know that? I didn't.
If the truth really has to be told... it wasn't so bad in there. Everyone is so sex hungry, you can get whatever you want.
It's tough on the kids, though. Some of these straight girls come in who have never been into women and they get freaked out. Of course, they get taken right away.
Virgins are always a thing to get your hands on whether you're into men or women. Everybody wants one. I guess I have to include myself in that one, too.
While I was in jail, I really missed Flo. But there was all that other pussy, so close ... it was right there! I just couldn't resist. I had to try a couple.
Now I don't think that's being disloyal to Flo, do you? I think she did the same thing while I was gone. The important thing is that we've got each other.
That's what counts. We may fuck other people, but we're still family, you know. It's good to be out of jail. I'm back with my sister now.
But in jail, I've got to admit, there were some real hot little numbers.
I got into it with these two black girls who could have been some of the world's best fucks! They were tremendous! I had both of them working on me at the same time.
They made me come so many times and so many different ways, that I was sore the next day! Really, my crotch and leg muscles were really out of it!
Oh, but what a nice hurt that was!
They fucked me every possible way that there is. They even had a dildo. I don't know how they got it in the jail, but they did. And they knew how to use it!
They could eat and suck like nobody else I've ever felt before, or will feel again. They really knew their business ... or their pleasure.
I did enjoy myself. That was the only good thing about being in jail... the sex. It's the same in the men's prisons, I've heard.
You know, doctor, I don't know what I'm supposed to talk to you about. I don't think that I've got any problems. I think I'm doing okay.
If my brother stays out of my way, there isn't going to be any more trouble. I'm not crazy, I never have been. The ones you should talk to are my mother and father.
I call them the "bottle twins'... they look alike from drinking so much. They're the ones who are crazy ... look at the son they brought up, dumb Phil.
I don't think I want to talk to you any more. Do I have to stay if I don't want to?
CONCLUSION
This girl presented a very interesting question. Did she really have the problem, and was only trying to cover up ... or is the environment really to blame, and she has made the best adjustment to it? It is difficult to tell.
"She has protected herself from an impoverished emotional life by clinging to her sister. Her sister is her one ray of hope in a family filled with despair.
The sexuality is interesting. She and her sister have both rejected the father. His weakness and lack of character have driven his daughters" into each other ... literally. They turn to each other for strength and not to him.
The parents gave up their responsibilities to their children long ago. It makes one wonder why they bother staying in the same apartment at all.
Both parents are ineffectual and show no leadership to their children. Considering all that the parents have done ... like being alcoholic, and the father a potential rapist... and all that they have not done, the health of the girls is amazing.
It appears that the daughters' lesbian relationship is indeed a healthy reaction to the appalling conditions in the home. This is not to say that some other solution might not have been better.
But given what the daughters had to grow from in the home, they have done well. They have certainly adjusted better than their brother.
The real area for concern is Beverly's overzealous concern for her sister's safety. Such abundant loyalty could indeed lead to violence. Even though she enjoyed her stay in the jail, it would not be a good way of life forever.
The daughters must be separated from this destructive household. The possibility of rape from the father or brother and his friends, or any combination of these, is too great.
These types of men can not stand to hear two lesbians making love every night and so obviously enjoying it. It hurts the male ego to see or hear women satisfying each other sexually.
There is a possibility that these two girls could be persuaded to enter sex therapy with the therapist, but this is doubtful. If they did, they might change their minds about men. But many male therapists fall into this chauvinism.
Perhaps the girls should be left as they are.
If they are happy playing with each other with their fingers, then let them be. They have rejected the strong penis. This was a logical rejection given the quality of the men in their household.
It appears as though neither of them had the male equipment necessary to do the job oon these girls ...
The treatment plan will not be made at this time. The report to the court will recommend sex therapy, but will not require it.
CASE HISTORY SEVEN
Subject: William J. Age: Fourteen
INTERVIEW ONE
This young boy was brought reluctantly to this office by his parents. They felt that this was all a mistake and that the boy did not need to be seen at all.
He had been picked up by the school truant officer. The boy was at the local playground performing fellatio on a whole line of boys and men. Evidently the authorities had suspected this for quite some time and had never had proof before this time.
William is bright, handsome, and quite articulate. He does not agree with his parents that there is no problem with him. He realizes that his overwhelming compulsion to suck is not going to do him any good.
Well, they got me ... what can I say. I knew I'd be sent to a shrink sooner or later. I've known for a long time that there was something wrong with my sucking on everything I could get into my mouth.
Lately, it's been just men. I like to suck cock. It's as simple as that . I'm not queer... don't get me wrong. I just like the shape and the taste of cocks.
I've sucked plenty of other things and liked it okay. Like I've sucked cunts and pencils and tits and toes and a lot of other stuff. But cocks are still my favorite.
When they picked me up, I had already sucked off six guys and was going to do about eight more. I never get tired. They taste so good that I could do it all day and all night... and sometimes I do.
I didn't know when I first started sucking a lot. I guess that I always have. I went from the nipple to the whole world to suck!
When I go to bed at night, I take a banana with me. I fall asleep with it in my mouth. I pretend it's a cock. It makes me feel nice and relaxed so I can get to sleep.
I don't think that I'm too crazy ... but I'm crazy enough.
When I was a kid, my parents always had a pacifier or something stuck in my mouth. They probably did it to me. Aren't parents always to blame? I think so.
If they had paid more attention to me, I wouldn't need to suck so much now. I'm sure that's true.
Actually, I really know where this all started. It was my grandfather. I never bothered to tell my mother about this... I told my dad.
My grandfather used to babysit for me. When I was only about four years old, I remember that he had me playing with him. Yep, gramps had me waggling his cock with my little mouth.
He would always give me great gifts. It's no wonder that I learned at a very early age that sucking pays!
I also used to suck on my cousin. It was a girl cousin. Right about the same time that my grandfather was teaching me how to suck cock, this thirteen-year-old girl was teaching me how to suck pussy.
I got to know the ropes early, you might say.
One weekend, my grandfather would teach me his thing... the next weekend my girl cousin would teach me hers. I didn't know what was going on, I was too young.
All I know is I got great gifts from both of them. I was doing fine.
I never thought that sucking on somebody else's things was bad or ugly. I always liked it. No one ever smells bad to me. No one is ever too dirty for me to suck.
I will do anybody, anywhere, anytime... that's my motto. One time I happened to meet two sailors who thought I was just a kid who was giving them a line.
I had to convince them that I really would blow them both. They didn't believe me, but they let me try. Well, after the first guy got his, the second wasn't about to pass me up.
They were really enjoying themselves. They said no matter where they had been, they had never met anyone who could suck as well as I could.
They ought to know, they're experts.
They wanted to pay me back by ass-fucking me. But I don't want any part of that. I just like to suck. They couldn't figure that one out... no one can.
I always have a tremendous urge to suck. I have one right now.
Would you mind, doctor, if I sucked you off while we talk? It would help me a great deal.
I suck when I get nervous. I guess it's like some people who masturbate when they're nervous ... I suck.
My grandfather used to make me a little nervous. He had a terrible cough. He was always hacking. It was just his rotten, constant cough that got on my nerves.
But when I was sucking him off, his cough didn't bother me in the slightest. So I learned that sucking is a way to relax.
Gramps would totter over to a chair, coughing up a storm. I would hate it.
When he got himself situated in a chair, he would call me over and ask me if I wanted a dollar or something. I knew what the old devil wanted.
He would give me whatever bribe he had ... not that I needed one ... and I would start.
Once I liked to suck, I developed a style of my own very early in my career. Some people are quick suckers. But I'm a very slow sucker. I like to savor each lick and each suck.
A true artist does not rush his work of art. I do works of art when I suck someone. You should really try it. You would know what I'm saying if you sampled my expert tongue.
I really need it. I'm like a junkie without any dope if I can't suck.
Well, if I can't suck you, I'll have to smoke my pipe. I've had this pipe specially made for me in the shape of a cock. It helps a little, but it's not the real thing.
Now, where was I... ?
Oh, yes, gramps... well, he would sit there and I would start on him. First, I'd pick up his poor, tired old prick and kind of fondle it in my hands.
My little kiddie size hands must have been a turn on to the old dude.
Then I would lick really lightly at the tip ... kind-of like an ice cream, but with style. I use long, slow swipes of my tongue instead of flicks.
The old man's prick never stood up right away. That's probably one of the reasons why I'm so good today. I learned how to take my time.
I would lick on him sometimes for a half an hour. Every now and then, the old codger would fall asleep while I was doing him. I didn't care, I kept right on going.
When he would wake up and still find me sucking, he would pat me on the head. He loved it, the old devil!
Finally, after maybe an hour, I could get his old, shriveled prick to get stiff. It almost stood up once! It was really a sight.
But the old man did come! Right! He came nearly every time that I sucked him off. Well, mostly it was just a dribble, but it gave the old man a lot of joy!
I learned a lot from him. That's where I got my staying power from. Besides, it was fun.
My parents were always leaving me alone with him or with my cousin who liked to be sucked too. So I learned that when I'm lonely, I can always find someone to suck to take my mind off it.
It works!
Sucking is my thing.
I don't know if I want to be cured of it. I just want to control it a little. My parents don't think the whole thing is true.
But my father must know. My grandfather told me that I was a better sucker than my father. So the old man must have used my father when he was younger.
My father knew that, and he still left me with the old man. So he knew what was happening.
Sometimes the old man would come on his clothes... where did my father think that stain came from? He had to know that I was giving head to his father, my grandfather.
My father is just jealous because he probably never got any good head from my mother and he's too chicken to ask me to give it to him.
I would. I would give my father a blow-job if he asked me for one.
My mother thinks this is all a lie. She wouldn't want to be bothered with any hassle I might be in.
So you see, my parents don't care about me. Why shouldn't I suck, there's nothing else to give me pleasure.
Anyway, back to the story of my childhood. The other one who taught me to suck was my cousin, Monica. She was far out. When she baby sat, all she wanted to do was be sucked!
I got plenty of practice from her.
Men are more fun to suck, though. She was all right, and she had more orgasms than my grandfather, that's for sure. But it wasn't the same.
I'd rather have a good solid cock in my mouth than a mushy cunt to suck on. But that's just my own bias. I would suck anybody if I had to.
When I was a little kid and we all played doctor, I had the best time of anybody. I got to suck on all of the little boys.
Some of them were freaked out. When you're seven, and this kid is making your dick stand up straight, it can make you nervous.
I would suck off the older boys who could really appreciate it. We went behind the garage.
They would unzip and I would suck.
I have seen a lot of cocks in my day. I hope to see a lot more too.
I'll bet you have an interesting cock, doctor. Wouldn't you like a free sample of my work.
Or how about if we trade services. You shrink me, and I'll suck you. OK?
I think it's a good idea. I wish I could really pay bills and stuff by sucking. I'd be rich.
But I suppose that I can do it for money anytime I want. I'Ve already been given five and ten bucks at a time. I feel that I haven't gone professional yet.
This one guy in a movie once wanted to pay me fifty dollars when I got through with him. I turned it down. That would be too much money for something I enjoyed so much.
This dude had a really good cock. It was not too long, but it was thicker than most. It wasn't short and fat... it was very interesting.
I could fill my mouth with it perfectly. I could keep the tip of it back against my throat, while I reached with my tongue and licked him on the underside from balls to tip.
That was a very good cock for me to suck. Some of them are shaped so that I can't reach around them as well as I can some of them that have other shapes.
I like them a little on the short side. Like I said, I can keep them far in my mouth and still reach the shaft with my tongue.
That's important!
I could probably classify all the cocks I've seen by certain characteristics. You know, short, long, big, small, thick, thin, and on and on.
What type are you, doctor? If you let me work on your cock, I'll tell you what type you are at no extra charge.
I would like to suck you right now, doctor. Has anyone ever said that to you before? I'll bet they haven't. And if they have, I can do it better!
Do you really think that there's anything wrong with what I'm doing? I just take pride in my work. My work happens to be sucking cocks and cunts, in that order.
I think you're discriminating against me because I'm an independent business man. You think that I won't pay my taxes. But I will.
I'd like to file a tax return that said: "Occupation - Cock Sucker." That would be wonderful!
I wonder what kind of tax the government would put on sucking cock. Perhaps it would depend on size and duration of the suck. What do you think, doctor?
It would be heaven!
You know, I met a man from Texas once... I sucked him off on Forty-Second Street. And I found out that it's true what they say about that state. They do have everything bigger there.
This guy's cock was so big that, when it was in his pants, it looked like he was carrying a gun in his picket!
His cock hung nearly half-way down his thigh! I gave him a blow-job that he'll never forget.
I had to take some of his cock right into my throat and that still left most of it outside. I had to hang onto the excess with both hands to give him a good come.
When he did shoot, I thought I would drown! He sure had a lot of stuff in him!
It's funny, you know. I really can't stop talking about this. I think about sucking cock all the time.
When I'm in the locker room in gym class, I'm always asking guys if they want to be blown. Most of them do.
Some days it can be pretty slow. That's when I go and ask the girls.
The girls always want to be eaten. They figure they can get their kicks safely without having to worry about getting pregnant.
It's good for them and it's good for me. It gives them a thrill, and it keeps me in practice.
As long as I'm sucking, I'm happy.
But I always come back to cocks. That's what really keeps me going. I love to suck them and lick them. I don't like them inside of me, though.
I'm not a queer. I told you that.
It's just the shape and taste of cocks that I like.
My sex life, I guess, really isn't there. I mean I've been out with girls. But I never did anything. I've never been in love with a girl or a boy, in case you're curious.
I don't really need to get-off as long as I've something in my mouth! It's true!
When I get a sexual urge, I always think about it in terms of who I can get to let me suck them. I think about big cocks I want in my mouth.
I don't go out and look for someone to give it to me in the ass or something. I just want to suck.
Someone gave me one of those joke pacifiers that are shaped like a cock. I loved it. That was a novelty to me for a couple of days. It was nice in my mouth.
But stuff like that doesn't last long. I usually suck it right apart after a couple of days or I chew it. In my sleep, I guess I gnash down on whatever's in my mouth.
When I go to sleep with a banana in my mouth, sometimes I wake up and there is mashed banana all over my mouth. So I do bite down on things.
I've never bitten a cock though. I would never do that! I like them too much.
I wish I had a cock to suck right now.
It would make me feel so much better if I had a cock to suck on. It would calm me right down. I would so much like to see what I could do for your cock, doctor. Won't you let me try?
It's much better for my health than smoking is and others can get such enjoyment from it, as well. I think I have a very splendid habit.
I will admit that it occupies a lot of my thoughts and all. But I still think it's a habit.
Perhaps something else will taste better to me than cocks some day. I doubt it, though.
But I think I lost the thread of what I was telling you before, doctor dear. I'm so up-tight without something to suck on.
Anyway, I don't really have orgasms. I mean, sometimes I do, but most of the time I don't. I seem to get satisfied by having a cock come into me, or so that I can watch it.
My cock doesn't really get too hard anymore. Oh, it gets hard, but when I start sucking on someone, it goes away.
I really do get my kicks from sucking. I guess I just can't tell you that enough.
Even if I ever played with myself, I ended up with something in my mouth. If I play with my cock, I have to have something in my mouth too.
My cock doesn't really shoot anymore. It kind of gets hard, but then it just dribbles. I guess you could say that it's like my old grandfather's cock.
I don't get big, stiff erections like other guys do.
See, even if I go to the movies and there's a sexy scene in it. I don't get a hard-on unless I see somebody doing a sixty-nine or something orally.
I get more turned on seeing a guy eat a hot dog than I do seeing people fucking together. If they just got their cock and cunt banging away, I don't care.
It doesn't do a thing for me.
But I'll bet if they were both eating hot dogs while they were fucking, I would really get turned on. That means I would have to suck on something quick.
I wouldn't get hot and want to fuck someone. I just want to have them in my mouth.
It's a strange situation to be in. I bet that they'll never take me in the army. I would always be so turned on during chow that I would freak out.
All those men and all their mouths putting food into them. Wow that would be too much. I would stand outside the door and give free blow-jobs.
I'd probably be a big success with the guys in the camp!
Maybe I should join up. I'd like that.
So, I don't know what to do about this. How sick do you think I am? I can't be very sick. I don't hear voices or see things. I just like to suck. I learned it at an early age ... so what's the matter with that?
I'm young, maybe I'll grow out of it, like my shoe size.
If I don't, I guess I'll make the best out of it. I think we both know that I could make plenty of money servicing men who want to be sucked off.
I could be an expert sucker, we already talked about that.
If you're interested, I could tell you what happened on my first date with a girl last year...
Well, someone had gotten his hands on his father's dirty movies. We were all supposed to take dates and go over to his house and watch them. His parents weren't at home, of course.
The guys all decided that we all would get very horny and be able to fuck the girls. Well, I had my doubts about what I could do, but I got a date and went.
The dirty movies were just awful... at least for me they were. I wasn't turned on in the slightest. The other kids were just because there were naked bodies in it.
It showed some woman who was tied up, spread-eagle to a bed and some man was tickling her. He was using a feather and he was rubbing all around her cunt.
The woman was squirming around a lot and that was supposed to be sexy. For some people I guess it was sexy. I could hear heavy breathing from the other side of the room.
The girl I was with got turned on too. She even reached over and started to feel me up. She was surprised to feel that I was still soft.
I didn't have a gigantic hard-on like she expected. She tried to rub my cock, right through my pants, but it was no use.
The people in the dirty films were already fucking like crazy, with their socks on, and I couldn't get it up. This girl next to me was flipping out.
Well, I knew that I could eat her to joy. But I couldn't get hard from such stuff.
I really don't know what I could get hard from.
There is nothing except having a cock in my mouth ...
You know, doctor, that gives me an idea. Maybe I would get turned on by pictures of myself going down on someone? That would be fun to do.
I could look at myself and try to whack off!
Do you think that it would work? I guess it's worth trying for a while.
I need to be taught how to have a hard-on, you know. My cock has really never been used. I don't know what to do with it. I'd like to be taught.
My father never taught me the facts of life. I guess he thought that old gramps was telling me what I needed to know.
It's my father's fault. If he had spent more time with me, I wouldn't be this way now.
I'm just sure of it. It was all his fault.
He should have showed me what a cock was for. He shouldn't have left me to his perverted old father.
That's what did me in. That old man. He was the only nice adult I knew in my childhood.
And he had me sucking on his wrinkly dick. No wonder I want to do it now. That old man, even though he's dead, will follow me to my grave!
At least if the old guy would have masturbated me or something, then I would have been able to get hard. I never made the connection between sucking on him and my own cock getting hard.
Hell, his barely got hard!
But maybe if he had touched me... I wonder what it's like to be so hard that I could enter a boy from the ass ... or even a girl from her cunt?
I wonder if I'll ever know?
I guess I really feel that I'm missing something. After all, everybody else can do my thing, they can suck if they want to. But I can't fuck if I want to.
The difference is that I really don't want to.
It's never really bothered me whether I could fuck or not. Just lately, as I grow older it's been getting harder.
You know, people think that if you don't fuck, you're a queer, which I'm not. So what can I do?
I can't very well carry a card around with me that says "In case of hard-on, get a banana to insert in mouth....do not fuck." Could you imagine the kind of identification card for those of us who don't fuck.
There could be a club called "Suckers Anonymous." That would be fun.
But I wish that were true. I wish that could be true. I find that lately I don't have anymore fun.
My only good time is when I'm sucking.
Even if there is a total stranger, stuffed to the balls in my mouth, I'm happy. I don't care about anything else in the world at a time like that
That, for me, is like fucking to other people.
I don't want to be disturbed or interrupted while I'm sucking. I don't even really like other people watching. But that happens sometimes.
That's my sex-fun. Maybe I shouldn't try to change myself.
After all, it could be like changing a kid from being left-handed to right-handed. I could get very fucked up! Maybe I'll just stay the way I am.
I'll be like my parents. They said there was nothing wrong with me, right? They said the truant officer made up the whole thing.
They're really crazy. Why would a truant officer make up a story about me blowing a whole line of of guys if it weren't true? Do they think that he's a maniac?
My parents will never change. They will always deny that I was ruined as a kid.
They will never accept that they're responsible for it, either, and that's worse!
I don't know. Sometimes I feel fine, like there's nothing wrong with me. And other times, I know I'm so sick that I could just cry.
I don't know what to do with myself.
I really do need help. But sometimes I change my mind. I'd like to be like the other kids.
But I just can't deny my natural needs. I want to suck cock. I want to suck cock mostly, that is, and anything else after that I would suck too.
Do you suppose if I tried to masturbate here in your office, you could tell me what to do? I'd like to try it to see if it works. Okay, here goes......
See, how limp I am. I don't think 111 ever get it up. But if you came over here and let me suck you while I played with it, I know I'd get something.....
All right, I know I'm avoiding it. Here it goes....
Is this the right way to rub it? I've always just naturally rubbed it from the base of it out to the tip. It feels good.
Do you think I'm doing it right?
I'm going to go a little faster now. It would feel better. Ummm, yeah, it does.
Oh, look....it is starting to get hard! Just a little, but it's getting there. That's really nice. My cock is filling out some.
It feels stiffer than it did before.
Ummmm, going even faster makes it feel better. Look, it's getting bigger than before! That's great!
Maybe I'11 make it this time, doctor. Maybe I'11 get this big, fat hard-on right here in your office. Wouldn't that be a gas and a half?
I'm going to rub as hard as I can.....come on, cock....get up!
CONCLUSION
This patient is so pathetic, that he hardly requires comment. The anger he harbors towards his parents is clear. It seems to be justified. The boy was never satisfied by them.
He never got the dependency needs fulfilled at the oral level, so he cannot hope to progress to the other levels of development, the anal and the genital.
Although he professes not to be "queer" his type of speech and his mannerisms are all very super-cool, young faggot kinds of mannerisms. He is defending against his homosexuality very strongly. He feels that this would be so much worse than his present situation.
He refuses to see, indeed he can't see, that his problem stems from clinging to these penises in his mouth as his means of security. He is afraid to branch out and try new things.
His attempt to masturbate himself in my office was a dismal failure. But even that showed the depth of his oral gratification needs. He needed me to watch him, to show I cared and would help him.
The treatment plan should include sexual therapy with an older man who would teach the boy all about sex. He was correct when he said that his father should have taught him these things.
However, some man can educate him now. It is also important to let his homosexuality come out instead of denying it. He should be encouraged to try full homosexual sex with the man who will teach him. This would be a way of getting back to his father, which is what he wants to do.
CASE HISTORY EIGHT
Subject: Mary Lee J. Age: Fifteen
INTERVIEW ONE
This patient came to me as a court referral from the family court. The entire family is under investigation for obscene practices with minors. The family consists of this patient, one sister who is a year younger, and the parents.
The family is apparently a hold over from the hippie age when all was free-love and sex. This open climate of trying whatever one likes is the credo of the family. The parents refused to meet with school authorities over sexual problems with Mary Lee at school. The school and the family both are cross-suing each other.
Mary Lee is an exceptionally beautiful and bright girl. She has a sparkle and an easiness about her that make her quite charming. She is physically very well developed and is already a very beautiful woman.
I don't know what all the fuss is about, really I don't. I wasn't doing anything bad at all in school. I was merely sharing an experience with another girl.
Sometimes I share things with the boys, too. I don't know what's wrong with that? My parents don't think that I've done anything bad. They know everything that I do and they dig it. We get along real well.
All that happened in school was that some prude teacher found me in the John with another girl. I was eating her, that's all. What's wrong with that?
We do those kinds of things at home all the time. It's all out in the open.
If that teacher would have gone to the boiler room just the day before, she would have found me fucking with a younger boy who's only a freshman.
She would have swallowed her teeth if she had seen that!
I was on top of him. He had such a little prick that he would have never reached into me if he were on top.
I taught him what to do. Now he can be a good fuck with his little thing. He thanked me for what I did for him. Now is that wrong?
Those teachers are crazy. They want you to hide whatever you do so that they won't have to deal with it.
But they know what goes on. Everyone is into sex. Why should we hide it? I wont.
My parents say that you should never have to hide anything that's good and beautiful. And sex is! They taught me and my sister that right from the beginning.
We never had any problems with it. If we wanted to touch one another, it was okay. Sometimes mom or dad will do it with us.
That's really fan when we get to tuck with mom and dad.
They're both so good that I don't know which one I like to go to bed with the most. Dad has a great cock, and he's very gentle because I'm not too big.
But mom is very sexy. She knows just where to touch me at the right tame to bring me off. It must be that women know other women's bodies better.
I like them both.
And my sister, Nancy is very good in bed, too. We are a family of good fucks, you know that?
That's what Joe says too. Joe is a friend of my mom and dad. He is very nice. I like him.
He has a very big cock too. But he's not as gentle with me as my dad is. Maybe it's because he doesn't love me enough. He's not family.
Anyway, I don't know why I'm here. I have a very healthy attitude toward sex. I'm a very advanced fifteen year old.
I'm glad of it! I would do exactly the same thing with that girl in the bathroom tomorrow. She tasted very sweet. I liked her.
I like eating other girls, in general, I think.
They are so much nicer to hold than boys are. Girls are softer and they're more gentle. That's what I really like....someone who's gentle.
Sometimes men are, but not very often. I fuck men too. But I guess I prefer women, or girls.
I like to put my fingers inside of another woman and just play in there. It feels so good, especially if they play in you at the same time.
My sister and I play inside of each other a lot. She is a very good fuck.
But I think that I am too. Dad says that because of all our sexual knowledge, we're naturally better fucks than other people. We can't let it go to our heads.
He says that we should try to fuck a new person every day, or every week if we can.
I think dad's right. I try to do that.
This week was very good. I rucked a new boy the day before I got caught fucking that girl.
I really can't get her off my mind. She tasted so good that I can hardly believe it.
I wonder if she douches? But she didn't feel like she was stretched from boys being in her so why should she douched. I'm going to call her up....
Anyway, we are a very happy family.
We share everything from food to lovers. Sharing lovers is the most fun. I like to fuck with people that mom and dad bring home.
They always bring grown-ups, and I like to see how surprised they get when I and my sister jump into bed with them.
Sometimes we like to freak them out by starting to fuck with each other right at the table after dinner. The table is usually the floor, so it's easy to do.
People look at us real strange!
Mom and dad explain what we believe in and how we live. The people usually dig it. There are always some who can't get into it. That's okay.
We don't force anyone to fuck with us. We just want to be left alone to do our own thing.
All we do is love and love freely. We think all bodies are beautiful.
You know, doctor, I could fuck with you right now if you wanted to. That's how free I am.
I think that it's wonderful. Everyone should be free like we are.
They are only hurting themselves when they aren't this free. It's fun to be this way.
You know, I can't remember the first time that I had sex. It was always just there. It's no big, heavy secret that you have to wait for marriage in order to have sex.
That's dumb. We've been enjoying sex with each other from forever it seems.
I'm very glad of it too. When I see all the crazy sex perverts around, I'm glad I'm healthy.
We really are, you know. It's this society that's sick.
I think I was very lucky to be born into such an advanced family as mine.
We have no crazy taboos. I have always seen both my father and mother naked. I've watched them fuck together. I didn't have to peek.
I just watch my parents fuck when I want to.
They are fun to watch. I like to see them both just before they come.
They get so red in the face and they breathe so heavy. Then it's fun to see them get all that pleasure when they come. Oh, I think it's great!
I like fucking with my dad myself.
He has a very big cock. He likes me to suck on him, very gentle before we start.
So I do. I get down there between his legs and I start to lick him on the balls and suck really easy on his cock. Dad likes it when I do that.
He gets hard pretty quick. His cock stands straight up toward the ceiling.
Last time we fucked was last week and mom and Nancy watched us during TV commercials. I thought you might be interested in that.
Anyway, his cock is real thick and long. It's a good one.
My playing with it gets it nice and hard. But Dad plays with me too. I need to get my juices flowing so that he can slide into me with his big cock.
What he usually does is play at my cunt with his fingers while I suck on his cock. Then later, we might change positions so that we sixty-nine for a while.
I love it when dad eats me. I love the way that his beard feels on the inside of my thighs and on my cunt.
My Dad eats me very well. He's good!
When my juices are flowing we come back together and press our bodies real tight.
The position that we take depends on our mood and what's going on in the house.
Like, there might be people over so that we can't use the couch. Or the dog might be asleep right in the middle of the floor, so we can't use that ... you know.
Sometimes, dad sits in a straight back chair and I sit on his prick facing him. That's wonderful!
I have to be very careful when we fuck this way though, because dad is so big that I can't take him all the way inside of me yet. That means I have to hold myself up by standing on the rungs of the chair.
It's harder to do, but then I can move up and down on his cock when I want to. Dad likes it too.
A lot of the times we fuck regular style with him on top.
Then he's the one who's got to be careful not to go too far into me.
Then we also do the one where I get on top of him when he's lying down. I lie on top of him with his cock in me and then we don't have to worry about it going in too far.
Dad likes this position almost the best I think.
He likes to feel me squirming around on top of him. He likes the way I take control, he says.
When Dad finally drops his load inside of me, I'm in heaven, I really am.
His cock has such force when he shoots that I can barely stay on top of him! He squirts into me like a fire hose does! It's wonderful!
All of his sperm always get all over.
It runs out of him and down his stomach. It runs down my legs too.
Sometimes I don't even like to wash when dad has come into me. It smells so good and feels so good that I want to keep it with me.
But everyone tells me that there will be another fuck with him, and there always is.
I love my dad to fuck me!
My mother is very good too, though. I like the way she has those nice soft breasts. She holds me very tightly when we make love so that I can feel them.
Mom is very gentle.
When she wants to make love to me, shell come up behind me and talk whispery into my ear.
That alone sends goosebumps all up and down me! Mom knows that it does. She likes to play with me while she's turning me on. We have fun.
She holds me from behind that way for a while. She touches me all over in front with her hands.
She feels my breasts and she feels down to my crotch. She does it all. very slowly and very gently. I love to just stand there and let her touch me.
I let my head fall back on her shoulder.
She takes her time and runs her hands all over me. Then she will turn me around. She kisses me then.
We both like to French kiss a lot, so we do. Mom and I will be there for a long time, just kissing and feeling each other up and down.
Sooner or later, we look for a spot to lie down.
Mom always likes to undress me before we fuck. I think it's one of her ways of taking care of me.
I just lie back and she does all the work of getting off my clothes and hers. She is really a wonderful mother to us all. I love her.
When we are both naked, she comes to where I am lying to put her body on top of mine.
She always lets herself down on me very slowly and very gently. She knows that the sensation of that slow touching of bodies is wonderful!
Once mother is on top of me, we kind of move around so that our breasts rub and touch each other. She rubs my nipples with her hands too.
They stand up real hard when Mom touches them. She knows just the right ^thing to do for my nipples.
I touch her breasts too. I like to suck on them. Some time or another while we're making love, I end up sucking on her for a while.
It's kind of a nice return to those infant days when I got to suck at her breasts for food.
I don't remember them, of course. But from the way it feels today, I must have been a very happy baby. My Mom's breasts would make anyone content!
Anyway, we roll around and touch each other and suck on breasts and all of that.
After a while, though, we both start to edge toward each other's cunt. That's what we're both after.
I love to feel Mom's cunt. Usually, it's so wet when I put my hand there that I almost come right away myself. She's so warm down there, and soft.....
Her hands explore all over me on the utside and the inside of my cunt. Mom's fingers are just super.
Sometimes we will sixty-nine, or one of us will eat the other one out. I like anything that we do together. Mom eats me very well. I always come right away when she uses her tongue on my cunt.
A lot of times what we do is lie one on top of the other and use our hands to rub each other's clit and go inside her cunt with our fingers.
That's always wonderful. Mom and I can get right into a good rhythm together.
Many times we even come together.
And when we come, it's always a lot! Mom and I can go for a whole mess of orgasms all at one time.
We just keep turning each other on, over and over.
She is really such a great mother. I feel sorry for kids who can't do this stuff with their parents They are really missing so much.
INTERVIEW TWO
I'm not going to let that mess at school bother me anymore. Mom and dad are going to take care of every thing. They have a good lawyer.
Everything is going to be fine.
You know that the principal of the school threatened to take us away from our parents! Can you imagine anything so dumb!
Narrow-minded people are worse than having cancer! We are not going to let people like that bother us for a moment. That's what Dad said.
We had a wonderful energy recharging session last night at home.
When we have these sessions, we all sleep together and share the energy in all of our bodies together. All of us had sex with each other at least once last night.
I had fucked once each with Mom and Dad, and I fucked twice with my sister, Nancy.
It was a very good evening.
That girl at school whom I got caught eating in the John sent me a note. She wants to meet me after school some time.
I guess that means she's interested.
I like that. New lovers are always fun and interesting to find. And when they're as cute and nice as this girl, it's even better.
Well, doc, what can I say?
I told my family what we talked about. Not that they wouldn't know what I told you any way ... they did already.
They want me to find out more about you. They want to know where your head is.
There would be nothing worse than to have you not understand me and agree with those morons at school. Dad says you should judge me on my own merits.
Do you want to fuck me, doctor?
I thought it would help you to know me better, that's all. And besides, you're an attractive kind of dude, you know that, don't you?
Anyway, what else do you want to hear about?
Oh, I know. One time when we were living in San Francisco, a real funny thing happened to us all.
This guy came to our house selling encyclopedias. He was young, you know, but very straight. He was even wearing a bow tie! That's how straight he was.
Anyway, we invited him in.
It happened to be that Dad and my sister were fucking on the couch right then.
So this guys walks in to find this obviously older guy and this adolescent girl locked in fucking on the couch. My mother and I didn't say a word about it.
We told him to sit down.
It was so funny! It was like he was a robot! He was trying not to look at them, but he couldn't help it.
He kept twisting his head around to look at them when he thought we wouldn't notice.
We let him go through his whole rap about books. He did it really slow and kept getting mixed up. Dad and Nancy had orgasms and made a lot of noise right in the middle of it.
I thought this guy was going to choke! Mom and I kept straight faces.
The enclyclopedia man didn't know what to do. He couldn't figure out why mother and I were so calm while this was going on. I don't suppose he went into many places where people were fucking right in the living room.
When Dad and Nancy finished, they came over to where we were sitting. Mother made the introductions.
The encyclopedia man could barely speak.
He could only look at them. He was bewildered by their naked bodies just standing there in front of him!
Well, we were all acting very natural and at ease. But he kept getting more and more uncomfortable.
He finally asked the question that he had to ask, sooner or later. He asked if we did this kind of thing all the time? We said that of course we did. Why, didn't he?
He almost fell over on the floor. He got this really stupid look on his face and just said something like it's not right....
We were all hysterical with laughter.
Just then some other friends of Mom and Dad's came to the door. It was a perfect time to have visitors. More crazies would really knock this guy for a loop.
Well, believe it or not, he didn't leave.
All of us started to do our normal things when friends came over......We smoked some grass, talked, fucked and were close a lot....the usual for us couldn't have been for him.
We were all carrying on and having a good time.
But the encyclopedia man just stayed. He sat in a corner and kind of smiled at everybody.
He didn't get involved in what was going on...he just watched us. He seemed to be enjoying himself in a very subdued kind of way.
People are funny like that.
There "he is, the most conservative dude in the world....bow tie and all...and he wanted to share what he could. It wasn't much...but it was more than some could have done.
We all dug the shit out of it.
It was a beautiful time for us. We knew what he was saying in his own way.
See what I mean, doc. There are people like that and us in the world and they don't bother us. Why is the dumb school giving us such a hard time?
We could use you in our corner, doc.
The world needs more love, you know, it promotes mental health.
I'm glad that I've grown up the way that I have. Do you know that? I think that you should. My teachings have allowed me to develop really fine compared to a lot of those so-called well brought up sheltered kids. Come on, doc. You know that you don't see any neurotic shit in me!
I'm right. You know I am.
All I want is to live with my family without any hassles.
I'm going to grow up to become a peace-loving adult. Ill know that my place will never be with the straight world. I can deal with that.
How many other kids do you know who can deal with the reality of their life style, man?
I want to stay with my family, and you have the power to help me do that. I hope that you will, doc.
You seem to be a decent dude, even if you don't say too much. I know that that's not your style.
Anyway, I want to split soon.
Let me leave you with a little story that happened to me with the last shrink I saw. It was really the same kind of thing as this is.
He told me that I had terrible hang-ups about my father. He said that I could never have a normal relationship with any other man if I didn't clear up the crap with my dad.
So, I thought I would at least hear what the guy had to say. I went to him twice a week for maybe three weeks.
Do you know what his therapy was going to be for me?
This shrink wanted to teach me that I could relate to other men, right? Well, I already knew that I could....
Anyway, what he was going to do to teach me this, was to have a relationship with me himself. Sexual, of course.
I have to admit that I led him along.
I went to see him and I talked to him. I even let him do what he thought I didn't see he was doing. That was, his whole routine to break my defenses so he could fuck me.
That dummy didn't even know that all he had to do was ask. I would have fucked him. But I let him go through his routine anyway.
It started with the fatherly pats on the back, and then they moved farther down to my ass. They were still fatherly, but he was i patting my ass pretty good.
The next step was the old, "you need somebody to talk to who understands" routine. That went along with a lot of touching and hugging.
He was really feeling cocky that he was bringing me along so gently and so well. What a dummy he was!
Anyway, this went on for weeks.
Then, one day, I knew that he thought it was time. The time for the consummation of the therapy.
He was so dramatic. I loved it!
This shrink was the best comedy that I had seen in years! I knew I would have good stories to tell out of this one!
When I came into his office on "D-day," lie wasn't wearing his usual business suit. He had on a smoking jacket instead.
I've only seen those in movies before.
He went into his whole pitch about how I needed to feel close to someone else besides my dad. I sat there and nodded. He came over to the couch where I was sitting. He put his arms around me and kissed me on the forehead.
That did it! I couldn't keep a straight face any more. I started to giggle wildly!
I got up from the couch shaking with laughter.
He just stared at me like I had gone completely out of my ever-loving mind! Then I told him.
I told him how wrong he had been. I told him how he had missed the point with me entirely. I told him how he should have never had the nerve to call himself a therapist.
He looked at me with his jaw open.
I really let him have it.
Everything he had done wrong, I hit him with. I didn't leave anything out. I even told him how I wouldn't go to bed with him now, but I would have before.
It was hitting him hard. I could see it.
He was like a little mouse crawling into a corner.
Just for good measure, I added a threat. I told him that I would make it public that he had tried to seduce me. He didn't need any publicity.
He was plain scared by then.
I felt great!
You know that guys like him are around. My dad says that they are the worst possible kind of people. He says they are because they have so much power.
Everybody listens to their therapist.
One jerk like that guy can fuck over a lot of innocent people. Therapists like him should be stopped.
I think you agree with me and my dad, and the rest of my neat family. That's why I told you that story.
I think that you know what I mean....
CONCLUSION
This girl was one of the most interesting patients I had seen in many months. Her brightness and articulateness were so refreshing, that I found myself looking forward to sessions with her.
When that happens, the therapist must ask himself what it means to him personally that such a person is his patient. I was treating this girl differently from any of my other patients. Why?
I had to know what made me react differently toward her than my other patients.
It would be very important information in the diagnosis of the case.
She was a beautiful, young girl who had sex with her father, her mother and, her sister....all on a very frequent basis. What was her disorder because of this?
Was it detrimental to the morals of those she came in contact with? Well, perhaps.
But then the other girl that she had been caught with had already sent her a note wanting to meet her. I believed that whomever this girl was, did indeed want to see her again.
So how could she be a detriment to the morals of anyone else when she wasn't forcing her attentions on anyone. People came to her.
It was their right to choose to consort with her, and hers to consort with them.
But was it all that simple? What about Freud? What would he say about such open sex?
Actually, he would probably agree that it was a very healthy arrangement that this family had together.
Freud said that it was civilization and the rules of society which interfered with the fulfillment of man's nature. So then why should I interfere with the development of this family's development and nature?
I suppose I was corning to the conclusion, as these thoughts raced through my head, that there was nothing clinically wrong with this girl.
What would I tell the school authorities?
I would tell them the truth. I would not be one of those bad therapists that she had so aptly described in her little story.
I knew plenty of therapists like that.
I wrote my report to the school. I said that there was absolutely no indication of any malfunctioning, either social or personal with the girl.
I ended the report with a strong recommendation to suspend all judgement of the two children in the family until the school officials were familiar with their life style. I told them that she was a unique child of many talents.
It was a strong report. They would have to go to someone to get anyone to overturn such a strong evaluation.
I felt I had done something really worthwhile for a change.
I picked up my phone and called her father. I told him about the report. He was pleased, of course.
Then I asked him what I really wanted to know.
I wanted to know if I could come and share their way of living for a time. I was also honest enough to tell him that I wanted his daughter, if she would have me.
The man on the other end of the phone laughed for a long time. I didn't mind somehow...I knew it was friendly.
"Sure man, come on down, we knew you were cool....."
