"I inherited a few things from my daddy that I'm proud of. A good set of teeth, a wide smile, a good personality, a fine body and enough sense to know I never want to work hard. So how's that for an inheritance?
"Other than that, he didn't give me shit.
"I left my home town in Piedmont, in the backwoods of Virginia, when I was eighteen. There wasn't anything left for me there. I mean, I fucked everything that was worth fuckin', so why hang around?
"I had me my high-school diploma and a lot of ambition to have fun. I didn't know where else to go, so I headed for Washington, D.C.
"I started out with fifty dollars, which I'd gotten together by a lifetime of saving and when I was still fifty-six miles from D.C., I didn't have a damned dime. And Piedmont just ain't that far from Washington to be spending that much money. But it was worth it, I guess.
"One of my rides happened to be with this young freaky couple. Myles was his name; Gloria was hers. They were typical freaks: all hair and no roots. Made me look like a stick-in-the-mud. That's what they did.
"I hopped into the front seat next to Gloria, and we started rappin' right off. Those kind of people are good people. Anyway, Myles told me that they were heading for Cincinnati, Ohio, so Gloria could have her baby where her parents were. So her parents could pay for it, I think they meant.
"It wasn't no big news that Gloria was pregnant. Hell, you would have had to be blind not to see it. She had the biggest goddamned belly I'd ever seen on a female, outside of Carly W---'s mare, maybe.
"Anyway, I thought it was nice that they were heading home. I liked that. And they seemed to be happy about the whole thing. They'd been on the road for over a year, pickin' up a buck here and there, stealin' a little when things got desperate, and fuckin' under the stars every night. Sounded damned good, but I was more interested in satin sheets and a lot of green stuff in my pocket. I mean, that sleepin' in the outside could only hold my interest for so long. About one night. But it was nice for them.
"And then Myles started tellin' me about how low they were on cash. Broke was what they were. Stone broke. They'd shot their wad on their last tank of gas.
"Any chance you could lend me some money?" Myles asked after about ten miles of leadin' up to it.
"Don't see how," I answered. "Ain't got much, and I'm gonna need what little I got."
"Myles thought a minute. "I'll let you fuck Gloria," he said finally.
"That didn't shock me none. I knew Gloria wasn't above a little outside activity. She'd been nudgin' my leg ever since I got in the camper. She'd probably fucked half the guys she ever met.
"I looked at Gloria. "How much would you expect me to "lend" ya?" I asked. I knew damned well lendin' money to Myles would be like throwin' it down a well, so I wasn't headin' into anything blind. But Gloria wasn't a bad-lookin' girl, big-belly or no. In fact, the big belly sort of turned me on. I never fucked nobody who was pregnant before.
"How about fifty?" Myles asked. He might have been a freak, but he sure didn't come cheap. "How about five?" I asked back. "Ten."
"We made a deal.
"Myles asked where I wanted to fuck, and I answered I never fucked in the back of a camper before. Especially with the girl's husband driving.
"We ain't married," Myles said, and then pulled over to the side of the road so me and Gloria could climb in the back.
"I saw Myles adjust the rear-view mirror so he could catch some of the action, and then I got started. Just like I suspected, you could have driven a tractor trailer into Gloria's cunt, but I got a pretty good-sized fuck pole so it wasn't bad at all. When Gloria squeezed her cunt on my prick, it felt good. And that's what I was after.
"I had to fuck her dog-style because of that big belly of hers. But while I was fuckin', I wrapped my arms around her and put my hands on her belly. I swear to God, while I was fuckin' her, I felt that kid jumpin' around. I think even the kid enjoyed the fuck.
"You ever fuck anybody in the back of a camper? While it was movin'? It's a nice feelin', especially when you got a good pussy like Gloria to milk the come out of you.
"We both were bare-assed naked and I was fuckin' the shit out of her. Man, she took all I had to give. She kept tellin' me to 'Fuck! Fuck," and I obliged. And the weirdest part was lookin' up at Myles and seein' him stare at us through the rear-view mirror. It's a wonder he didn't drive the goddamned camper into a goddamned ditch or something. Especially since he was beat-in' his meat off while he was doin' all the rest.
"I shoved my cock into that wide-open pussy until Gloria had shot off herself about three times, and then I figured I'd end the whole bit by shooting my whole load of thick, white fuck cream up her hole. Jesus, did that feel good.
"As soon as we were finished, Myles pulled over to the side of the road and let us get up front again. I barely had time to get my pants on before he was parked to the side. Gloria didn't bother none about getting dressed. She just heaved that big belly of hers, and the rest of her-naked as the day she was born-out of the back and into the front. Then, when I was climbing in, I saw why she was so anxious to get up there. She had her head buried in Myles's lap and she was giving him one fine suck job. Christ, she sure was noisy. Slurp, slurp, slurp. Made me horny all over again.
"Finally, though, we got everybody dressed and everybody in the front seat, and took off. But we seemed to drive only about two miles when Myles pulled off the road again. Into this big thicket of trees. I figured at the rate we were goin', I'd get to D.C. along about the turn of the century.
"Myles got out of the cab and started stretchin' and yawnin' like he'd been drivin' for six months straight. "Come on out," he said finally. "It's really great here."
"I hadn't intended to get out. Shit, I was bushed just from movin' around, but Gloria nudged me and I got to the ground. Myles had a little handgun pointed at my belly. "Take your clothes off," he said. When I asked him what for, he told me just so they'd be safe. He told me he'd drop them about a hundred yards down the highway, just so I wouldn't get any ideas of runnin' after them. They were after my money.
"Sorry to do this," Myles said as he put my fifty bucks in his own pocket. "But it's a necessity."
"You ain't near as sorry as I am," I said. I watched that precious fifty disappear into the fuckin' creep's pocket. But what the hell's money good for? Sure, not important enough to get a bullet in the belly. So I shucked out of my clothes and watched them disappear down the road.
"He said he'd throw my clothes out, but all I could find was my pants. I hopped along that highway, duckin' behind trees when a car'd go by. Let me tell you it was really worth a few chuckles.
"I looked for my shirt and shoes and socks for a long time and then finally gave up. After all, I had the most important stuff. So I stood by the highway, naked except for them pants, and stuck out my thumb. I wasn't in too good a shape, either sartorially or financially, but I was still happy. Hell, I'd had more excitement in two hours than I'd had in my whole life in Piedmont.
"I got the weirdest looks from drivers. They'd stare and then speed up. Guess they were afraid I'd jump on their car hoods or something. And then finally a good Samaritan stopped. Actually, he screeched to a stop. I ran for the car and hopped in. It was getting to be just a little chilly by that time.
"It was a guy driving. About thirty and a little on the fat side, and a little on the prissy side, but he talked like he had a lot of education. And that's important.
"He pulled the whole story out of me about my episode with Gloria and Myles, and when I was finished he had a roaring hard on pokin' out his pants. It was somethin' to see. Although he looked a little bit ashamed of it. Hell, nobody should be ashamed of a hard on. No matter what the reason for gettin' it is.
"I've got some old clothes I could let you have," he said. "If you don't mind discards, that is."
"Shitkicker," I answered-I sort of liked to call people I'm friendly with 'shitkicker'-'I wouldn't mind a dress, if that's all you had."
"Oh, that's not my bag," he said, really serious. I just laughed.
"Of course, you'd have to come to my apartment," he said, sounding real coy and devilish. I told him that was fine with me.
"I guess you can figure out what I had to do to get those discarded clothes. I spent the night--he fed me good-and first he sucked my cock and then I fucked him. His asshole felt good. It sure as hell was a lot tighter than Gloria's hole. And he really dug gettin' that prick up his ass. Man, he moaned and groaned and begged and whimpered. It was really somethin'.
"The next morning, I was set to go. I was all dressed-his clothes were a little big for me but they were better quality than I'd ever bad in my life-and had another good meal in my belly. And he had offered to drive me to downtown Washington. But before we left, I had something to bring up. "Hey," I said, trying to sound real chummy, 'how about lending me a few bucks."
"The smile dropped from his face like it was a ton of bricks hangin' from a cobweb. "I never pay for it," he said, and he sounded nasty all of a sudden. That pissed me off. I didn't say nothin' about payin' for the fuck he'd had. I just wanted a loan. I'd never pay it back, but it sounded nicer callin' it a loan.
"Well, you're gonna pay for it this time, shitkicker, or I'm gonna cut that little twiddlede-whack of yours off and stick it in your fuckin' fruit mouth."
"Jesus, you never saw a hand go to a pocket so fast in all your days. "H-h-how much?" he asked. I saw a twenty on top of his pile, so I thought I'd settle for that. Don't want to be greedy.
"I took the twenty myself and told him I was ready to go. He was still shakin'. He didn't know it but I'd never go through with my threat. Shit, I wouldn't even hit him. I don't go in for violence, but every once in a while you have to play a part to get eatin' money. After all, I'd planned on livin' on what I could earn with my cock, so why not start with him?
"We didn't say two words on the drive in. But when I was ready to hop out, he put this little piece of paper in my hand. "Call me," he said. Then I got out and he took off. I looked at that little piece of paper and thought, Holy shit. I fuck him and rob him and he still wants me back. That made me feel good.
"I went straight toward a men's shop and got myself a pair of jeans, and paid two bucks for them to alter the pants the trick had given me so they'd fit. Then I bought this shirt. That shot fifteen bucks. Jesus, things sure are expensive.
"I tried to rent a room at the Y.M.C.A. but I didn't have enough money. And do you think they'd trust me? Hell, no. Cash or starve, that's their motto.
"So I headed down the street, and luckily walked by this guy who looked me over so good, I thought he was gonna come in the street. I stopped to talk to him. He wanted to suck my cock, but he was in a hurry.
"We could go to my car," he said. "It's in the back of a garage."
"Five bucks," I said.
"Two," he offered. I was soundin' all of a sudden like Myles. Only I was sellin' my prick and not Gloria's cunt.
"Make it three, dad, and you got a cock to suck.' He agreed and we made it in the front seat of his car. He sure was a lousy cocksucker.
"I rented a room at the Y."
The teen-age years are notably turbulent and full of stress for a number of different reasons, and the recognition of this fact has been one of the more useful aspects of modern psychological studies. The biological and physical changes through which a child matures into an adult are a primary cause for confusion, awkwardness, and increased sensitivity in the teen-ager. In addition, many new roles are possible for him in his relationships with others, and the process of experimenting with these roles is often a painful but vital means for gaining knowledge.
In the normal adolescent, sexual identity becomes a cause for primary concern as it dramatically focuses the teen-ager's feelings about himself in many other areas. How he relates to his parents and his friends of both sexes become issues through which he is drawn to various kinds of experimentation. Milton J. E. Senn and Albert J. Solnit in Problems in Child Behavior and Development discuss this kind of experimentation as a normal part of the maturation process:
As he searches in spurts for his own identity he is both unselfish and self-centered; calculating yet also idealistic and generous.
Such fluctuations between extreme opposites would be considered highly abnormal at any other time of life. Now it means nothing more than the lengthy and somewhat explosive transition of emerging adult personality and the continuous experimentation by which it develops.
It is important to realize that the sexual experimentation of the teen-ager can best be seen in the context of the over-all experimentation with roles and attitudes which most characterizes this age.
The appearance of secondary sex characteristics, including changes in the sex organs in both boys and girls and the beginning of menstruation in girls are accompanied by a heightened sensitivity to sexual sensations and a strong psycho-sexual drive which in many cases leads to conflict. Conflict can be expressed in a number of ways, including increased masturbation, acting-out experimentation, and many different kinds of homosexual experience.
Because of this, we can see that what appears to be bisexuality in many teen-agers is simply a diffuse attempt to satisfy urges which are little understood, and cannot be interpreted necessarily as a prophetic indication of what the adult personality may choose as a sexual role.
The special circumstances of the teen-age years and the experimental quality of most sexual experience during this period indicate that apparent bisexuality in a teen-ager must be understood within the much larger range of normal behavior for the situation.
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The erratic and often alarming impulses and behavior of teen-agers can best be accepted if it is remembered that these very experiments are necessary to the development of a healthy adult personality. Senn and Solnit in Problems in Child Behavior and Development sum up the best attitude toward the behavior of teen-agers in general:
. . . The turbulence of this age period is a baptism under fire, and while painful for all parties concerned, it typically initiates the adolescent. . . . Although experimental, rebellious behavior makes the adolescent a difficult member of his family and neighborhood, an ascetic, excessively controlled or withdrawn adolescent is much less likely to attain the mature stability and capacities of a healthy adulthood.
Although it is indeed quite possible that much of the behavior of teen-agers does not indicate the inevitable direction of the adult personality, it is still true that the discoveries made during this period provide the basis for that later personality. Because of this most bisexual behavior in teen-agers can be considered significant in terms of the developing sexual identity.
Much would be accomplished in the direction of accepting the reality of human sexuality if certain common assumptions could be seen as having no basis in actual fact. Some of these assumptions include the notion that every individual is innately either heterosexual or homosexual, and that the basic sexuality of the individual is closely related to other personal characteristics, such as physique, personality, and style. Neither of these assumptions is true, and studies have shown that the most stereotypical popular images of the homosexual and heterosexual apply only to the most extreme cases of each.
A major contribution to the understanding of the balance in each person between homosexual and heterosexual tendencies has been made by Alfred C. Kinsey, and his associates, in their research reports. Although the Kinsey studies were not intended to represent teen-agers specifically, the findings do present a useful human context in which to view bisexuality at whatever age it may be manifested.
One of Kinsey's most important points is that an individual's sexual preferences may vary considerably from time to time. What may be true at one time can be completely contradicted by data from a later or previous period in the individual's life. This is true for the population as a whole, over a long life span, and particularly supports our thesis that bisexuality in the teen-age years does not necessarily indicate a permanent commitment to that particular mode of sexual expression.
Another important finding was that in any individual heterosexuality or homosexuality is not usually an all or none proposition. Although there are some individuals whose histories are exclusively heterosexual or homosexual, for most persons their life histories reveal a combination of both heterosexual and homosexual experience and/or psychic response.
In Sexual Behavior in the Human Male, Kinsey and his associates make a statement which can be applied with equal validity to females:
Males do not represent two discrete populations, heterosexual and homosexual. The world is not to be divided into sheep and goats. Not all things are black nor all things white. It is a fundamental of taxonomy that nature rarely deals with discrete categories. Only the human mind invents categories and tries to force facts into separated pigeonholes. The living world is a continuum in each and every one of its aspects. The sooner we learn this concerning human sexual behavior the sooner we shall reach a sound understanding of the realities of sex.
To make the point even clearer, Kinsey and his associates devised a scale by which any individual could be rated, for each age period in his life, in accordance with the amounts of heterosexual and of homosexual experience or response in his history. The scale makes it eminently clear that on the question of bisexuality, there is no definitive yes-no answer possible:
Individuals who make no physical contacts which result in erotic arousal or orgasm.
1. Individuals who have only incidental homosexual contacts with a physical or psychic response. The great preponderance of their socio-sexual experience is directed toward individuals of the opposite sex.
2. Individuals who have more than incidental homosexual experience, whose heterosexual experience still surpasses their homosexual experience.
3. Individuals who stand midway, about equally homosexual and heterosexual in their overt experience. In general, they accept and equally enjoy both types of contacts, and have no strong preferences for one or the other.
4. Individuals who have more overt activity in the homosexual, while maintaining a fair amount of heterosexual activity.
5. Individuals who are almost entirely homosexual with incidental experience with the opposite sex.
6. Individuals who are exclusively homosexual both in regard to overt experience and in regard to psychic reactions.
One of the more interesting aspects of Kinsey's rating scale is that it takes into account two separate aspects of the individual. He is rated not only on the basis of his overt sexual experience, but also on the basis of his psychosexual reactions. In some cases, the individual may have behaved with apparently exclusive heterosexuality, but show in his psychosexual reactions a strong interest in homosexual experience.
This explains in part the fact that bisexuality may seem to prevail during the teen-age years, when the individual may be more prone to acting out his impulses, whereas the mature and reasoning adult may be less likely to behave in a bisexual manner, although his impulses may be similar.
Kinsey provides a number of elaborate tables showing incidences and frequencies of bisexuality.
The rating of 3 on Kinsey's scale, which could be considered as the only purely bisexual rating, actually showed a quite low frequency. An analysis of Kinsey's tables shows that for males, only 5.5% of grade school level males, 5.1% of high school level males and 2.8% of college level males could be rated as 3 during their teen-age years.
With regard to females, Kinsey's tables do not utilize the same rating system, however his comments on homosexuality in females indicate that the bisexuality frequency would be even lower than among the males. In Sexual Behavior in the Human Female, Kinsey and his associates state:
The incidences and frequencies of homosexual responses and contacts, and consequently the incidences of the homosexual ratings, were much lower among the females in our sample than they were among the males on whom we have previously reported.
Thus we can see that the actual incidence of bisexuality during the teen-age years, as indicated by a rating of 3 on Kinsey's scale, is extremely small. However, the large majority of people both male and female studied by Kinsey had experienced both heterosexual and homosexual activity at some time in their lives, thus indicating that although true bisexuality may be rare, bisexual experience to some degree is actually widespread and general throughout the population.
Given the fact that this is so, it appears all the more desirable than the current reevaluation of our cultural expectations of maleness and f emaleness continue. Since we have seen that the behavior of individuals rarely fits neatly into the male and female categories we have established as a culture with regard to sexual activity, it seems reasonable that the categories themselves could be redefined with benefit to those for whom the categories represent an impossible ideal, that is to say the majority of the population.
Martin L. Hoffman and Lois Wladis Hoffman in Child Development Research present a rather cautious but definite statement regarding the desirability of flexibility in terms of sex roles:
It is suggested that one of the most compelling of human motives is the desire to reduce the discrepancy between an internal standard and the ever-changing behavior of the individual. . . . The desire for congruence between an ideal representation of the self and one's everyday behavior . . . appears to be a uniquely human motive. . . One of the central axes around which such harmonies are played is the standard for sex role behavior. It appears that unnecessary conflicts are generated because of anxiety over deviation from sex role standards. Once learned, these standards are not easily altered. But they are modifiable during the early school years and society should perhaps consider the desirability of initiating changes in selected aspects of our current sex role standards.
Since an individual's perception of his own sexuality influences his behavior in areas ranging far from the bedroom and is significant in terms of job choice, social behavior, and living style as well, it appears to be crucial that those individuals who discover in themselves an ability to function bisexually do not become unnecessarily confused with regard to their overall identity.
As long as bisexuality is regarded as a freak occurrence rather than the widespread activity it is, the danger exists that teen-agers who experiment in this area will suffer damage to their growing image of themselves. As we have seen, there are very few individuals who are perfectly balanced between the heterosexual and the homosexual in their overt experience and in their psychosexual responses. However, a great many individuals have experiences which include both heterosexual and homosexual expression, and to the extent that these individuals can be considered bisexual, they must also be considered acceptable, non-deviant members of society.
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CHAPTER ONE
The Music Lovers
"I certainly wouldn't ever think of myself as being homosexual, much less a screaming fag. But I'm not as up tight about swinging both ways now as I used to be. It used to be I didn't dare let my hair get long enough to hide any part of my ears. I mean the Beatles turned me off, the Rolling Stones left me cold. I guess the music idiom is as good as any, since that was the ambience in which I first encountered Ted and Margarita, his girl.
"I first got sort of turned on to Margarita as she was performing at an intimate concert Charlene and I attended. After the crowd left the drawing room, Charlene and I joined Margarita, and lo and behold, there was this young guy with long hair-I mean down to his shoulders-and a strangely feminine face. I wouldn't have paid much attention to him, turned on to Margarita as I was, if he hadn't kept turning the conversation from classical music to rock 'n' roll.
"He kept dropping comments about the latest thing by Blood, Sweat and Tears or Stills and Nash, while I was hard pressed to say anything sensible about early Simon and Garfunkel. I was just waiting for him to-I get kind of defensive about these young modern geniuses-waiting for him to drop some comment about the Rubdiydt of Omar Khayyam. Did you know that FitzGerald did three Rubdiydts?
"So Ted and I didn't hit it off real well right at the start. There may have been some unconscious sexual defensiveness on my part, but I wasn't aware of it. No, that's not quite true, and I think it's important to get this point straight. There was a . . . a flash . . . of sexual attraction there and I let it into my consciousness for a split second and looked at it, actually tried to analyze and weigh my reactions to it. I didn't do a thorough job, though, because I was trying to say things that would impress Margarita and Charlene.
"Yeah, I think that's the most important thing: I actually allowed a homosexual thought into my mind and tried to consider it rationally, rather than rejecting it out of hand. And I guess that was only one symptom, one aspect, of the new, more modern life style I'd found myself acquiring during the past few years. A much looser life-style, more of what's happening now, an ongoing thing, a Marshall McLuhan hotter awareness, rather than the old Gutenberg step-by-step, linear, plodding life-style.
"And part of that style is-on my part, at least-a growing appreciation of contemporary music, contemporary morals, including the willingness to entertain the idea of having sex with another male. Which is only one small facet of the whole new sexual morality, a morality that's freer and more open. In that sense I guess the Rolling Stones, with their raunchy and rebellious music, are symptomatic of modern life-styles, of modern youth. It sure as hell turned out that Ted and Margarita were modern in that sense.
"I don't remember exactly how Charlene and I happened to go to that recital. I seem to remember it was her idea. Something about a music recital a friend of hers had invited her to, a friend who was a music teacher. She'd said it was going to be a small group in a private home, drinks and all that, very chichi.
"The thing was going to start about eight o'clock so I arranged to pick Charlene up after work for cocktails and maybe dinner at a restaurant or at her place. We both work in the downtown Boston area. Or I should say in an area of about two blocks of the Common.
"And Boston can be beautiful about late May and early April. It sometimes makes the wet slushy winters almost worthwhile. When I first started going with Charlene-she's doing graduate work at Boston University, and has maintained a voluptuously svelte body at age twenty-four-we used to stroll down the Esplanade of a June evening and get hornier than hell just digging the sounds and smells of Boston and the Charles River.
"A couple of times, as a matter-of-fact, we managed to screw right on the green on the fringes of the crowd while we listened to the Boston Pops concert. It gave us both a charge to get our rocks off while listening to 'I Could Have Danced All Night' from My Fair Lady. Come to think of it, that was not so long ago, and that's about the time I started to change my head around and get into the newer life-style. Maybe Charlene had something to do with it.
"Anyway, we met after work and stopped in to a lounge for a couple drinks and then went to her place for dinner. She lives in this marvelous three-room apartment on Beacon Hill, with a bright red door, on a cobbled street. Rainy mornings, you half expected to see Nathaniel Hawthorne walk by. I was horny and wanted to get laid, but she wanted to hurry to the recital, so, picking up her crazy raccoon muff, she went out the door and I followed.
"We suffered-or I suffered-through the thing until this young blonde girl got up to do a flute solo. I was instantly horny, instantly aroused, wanted desperately to grab her snatch.
"For appearance' sake, and to proceed in good conscience, I slid my hand into Charlene's muff, so it looked like I was holding her hand. Of course there was a little zipper buried in the side of the raccoon. I slipped my hand through the opening and dropped it on her thigh. In this ostensibly proper fashion we listened, rapt, to Hindemith's 'Artistica for Flute Alone."
"Have you ever tried treating your ears to a Hindemith flute piece with your wrist buried in a raccoon muff-not to mention where your fingers are? I sipped my margarita, ruminating on the salt.
"There was no doubt that the blonde had a good technique on that flute. She whistled, fingered and tweeted up a storm. Or a hush: She was in the middle of a quiet passage. But, by God, I couldn't take my eyes off of the expertise of her mouth and lips. And the perfect musician's fingers of her hand.
"Visions of Tristan and Isolde flashed through my head. Of Abelard and Heloise. Classic lovers. I wanted urgently to make classic love to that blonde flute player.
"Somethin' to think about, huh? Actually I didn't think too much about Abelard. "Cause that poor Peter Abelard got castrated-actually de-cocked and deballed, if that sculpture at the Concierge is accurate. Oh yeah. And as I slid my arm in Charlene's muff and gazed at the oral gymnastics the flute player was going through, the last thing I had in mind was emasculation. I slipped my hand deeper into the warm space between Charlene's thighs and did a little flute fingering on her leg. She put her one hand over the muff, the other one being inside it, and sort of kept my activity from being too noticeable.
"All the time, of course, I had my eyes glued to the lovely young blonde and her winning way with the flute. She was indeed an endearing young thing. Reminded me of a younger Charlene, with blonde hair instead of dark brown. But she had brown eyes like Charlene's. And as soon as she lost a little of her baby fat, and added a fraction of an inch to her curvy parts, she'd look probably like a younger sister to Charlene.
"I noticed that, as soon as she stopped playing and was acknowledging the audience's applause, her eyes gave off a look of almost angelic innocence. That kind of thing really turns me on, and I had to arrange my pants to hide the bulge that was forming at my crotch.
"Of course there was also the blouse and skirt affair she was wearing. Very simple, almost severe. But it gave her freedom to move as much as she had to and it looked comfortable. Shit, despite its simplicity, it looked sexy, that's what. Margarita had tits that-I almost choked on my margarita when Charlene told me the blonde's name-had tits that were high and firm. As a concession to the recital platform, she wore a bra, I could tell. But it was of such sheer material that I swore I could see the dark outline and jut of her nipples. It didn't take much to imagine the texture and heft of her thighs under that skirt either. Naturally I was overjoyed when Charlene suggested we ask Margarita to go with us for coffee after the recital, because, she said, they were friends.
"At first I was slightly annoyed that Ted, my friend," Margarita said in a soft voice-would be going along with us. One of the reasons was the sexual flash I got from him. And I didn't like the idea of some other guy being along to dim the beams that shone off my sun-like personality, as far as Margarita was concerned.
"But it turned out to be a good thing that he did come along. Ted, in his spontaneous, youthful way, managed to get us all on a first-name basis right off the bat-Margie and Ted, Luke and Charlene. He also diplomatically sidetracked the idea of going for coffee and quickly took up my offer of dropping over to my place. I suddenly felt I had an ally in my inchoate nefarious plans.
"When we entered my abode, a groovy, three-and-a-half room basement apartment just off Commonwealth Avenue, Ted and Margie were quick to make themselves right at home. Ted plopped himself down in a comfortable armchair and surprised the hell out of me by lighting up a stick of pot. Margie, bless her heart, lounged on my bed, which was in the living room. She took no particular care to arrange herself demurely.
"Charlene sat herself in the only other chair in the room, a marvelous rocking chair that held her ass as though it was made for her. Which left me, of course, with no other place except the bed -alongside Margie. I didn't want to seem too hot after her body, though, so I temporized by saying I thought I'd have a drink.
"No juice for me, Luke," said Ted, exhaling a thin lungful of vapor.
"I'd love to try a margarita, too," said Margie with a cute, self-conscious laugh. "That's my name.' She twisted in a girlish way that pulled her skirt up damn near to the upper limit of her not so girlish thighs. I felt the blood rush to my head.
"Charlene had already gotten her own drink and so, when I brought Margie hers and found my leg deftly trapped between her stockinged feet, sneakily massaged. . . .
"Luke," she said, musing. "That's an unusual name."
"Naturally, I sat down on the bed.
"I guess," I said with my most winning, non-condescending smile, 'my parents thought I might get to be a saint."
"She'd curled her legs up on the bed, and with sprightly, smiling innocence she sneaked a foot under my thigh and tweaked my perineum between big and little toes . . . a glissando, if you will. "Saint Luke," she joshed.
"I didn't really get a chance to respond to that, though, because, before I had a chance to, Charlene came over and, with her heated groin pressed against my leg, said, 'I did tell Margie you were heavenly."
"There was a click in my head, and I realized, suddenly, without knowing it, that both the girls were mine, could be had. I felt a lustful rush. Then my eyes automatically flicked to Ted.
"He was looking at me with a strange twinkle in his eye, and suddenly I knew it was going to be an evening for all four of us. Ted smiled secretly. And his smile hinted at the possibility-I'd go so far as to say the probability-that I might be expected to broaden my interests to include more than two females in my swinging of the evening. As I considered the idea of . . . of what? Sucking Ted's cock? Or having him suck mine? The idea didn't get a chance to jell. I felt my dick press slightly against my trouser leg.
"I knew that in a few seconds it would grow until I wouldn't be able to stand up without an embarrassing bulge. So I quickly rose and surreptitiously adjusted myself as I walked over to the phonograph.
"Let's hear a little of the Mendelssohn Violin Concerto," I said. "It'll be a nice, uh, sensual kind of treat after the rather stark musicality of Hindemith flute pieces.' I said this for the benefit of Charlene. Figured it would help get her in the mood for any later action. Because the first time I'd had Charlene over to the apartment, I'd played that particular record while I was fucking her.
"Jesus, I'll never forget going at it hot and heavy, with all the lights on, getting down to short strokes and heavy breathing, and the record ends. Charlene is going 'Nnh-nnh' and throwing her head from side to side, her brown eyes steamy and focused on some far-off orgy of nymphs and satyrs. I've got eight inches of throbbing dick buried in her so deep my balls are resting in the crack of her ass. And I stop to look over at the phonograph going pfst-ssst pfst-ssst. Charlene grabs my ass so hard I thought she'd tear the skin. "Don't stop," she hisses. "Forget about the record.' Pfst-ssst pfst-ssst. She starts a frantic humping, throwing her fleshy mons against me so hard my teeth rattled. "My God! Don't stop. Don't stop!"
"So I figured the Mendelssohn Violin Concerto was a good bet to ease the way for some swinging action, at least as far as Charlene was concerned. And, besides, Ted had brought along a couple records that he'd bought just that afternoon, and I didn't want to have a lot of rock 'n' roll on the phonograph so he could make his smart-ass comments.
"But that was too much to hope for. Ted took out his records, slid one out of the jacket, and dropped it onto the spindle. "Gotta hear this side," he said, examining the hi-fi setup.
"Margie, as though unaware of the effect of her movement, brought up both her knees, clasping her legs in her hands. Her feet both slipped under my thigh. "Just what is it, I wonder," she said, 'that makes you heavenly.' The cute blush of her face and sneaky twiddling of her toes told me I had a pretty good idea of the kind of 'heavenly' she had in mind.
"I turned to Margie with what I thought was a winsome, slightly mocking smile. The sight that greeted me, though not shocking, was enough to freeze the smile on my face. Her legs, as you can imagine, were pointed directly at me. And, although her ankles were together, her knees, clasped in those lovely musician's hands and supporting her well-formed dimpled chin, were wide apart. The skirt had ridden up, and my glance traveled quickly along smooth avenues of pink thigh, converging at firmly packed blue panties edged in black lace. In the beams of low light from a table lamp I could see a couple filmy locks of long blonde hair threading out along the sides of the black lace. Glints of silver against the golden thighs.
"Quickly I checked to see if Ted was looking. Charlene I didn't care about, but I didn't want Ted to see the arousal suffusing my face. He was fiddling with the tuner.
"Perhaps Charlene had in mind my heavenly taste for music," I said, sliding my right hand along the bedspread toward her crotch. I wanted to just graze her skin with my fingertips, but, through some miscalculation, I overshot and pressed the palm and heel of my hand firmly against one cheek of her ass and the warm, spongy silk of her panties. I managed to pull back a fraction of an inch, but I was slightly off balance and so I started to murmur an apology. "Oh, I'm-'
"Like a shot her hand came off her knee and pressed my arm so it was tightly wedged against her ass and thigh. "I like your taste in music," she said in a low voice, leaning toward me and looking at me with her big brown eyes. "Do you like my taste?" And she unpinned my hand and, holding it in hers, carried it up to my nose. Her eyes danced wickedly and she smiled like a cherub.
"There was a faint fragrance of some exotic, erotic scent, 'by Nina Ricci," that raised her erotic quotient in my eyes by several points. Overlying this, though, was a heady but subtle baby-powder smell. So the result was a cock-tingling combination of femme fatale and powder-fresh, pubescent niece you might dandle on your knee.
"Aren't you going to taste it?" she asked in a pout.
"Before the evening's over he'll taste it, believe me.' Charlene's voice was a low whisper, and there was a heavy-lidded smile on her face. She'd pulled her rocking chair right up to the edge of the bed. "What about Ted?" she whispered to Margie. "Will he-'
'"Nice cunt, huh?" Ted had turned from the hi-fi set and was watching the three of us, a big grin on his face. He stood in a half slouch, with his pelvis canted forward, and the bulge in his pants was something you couldn't miss. "Margie," he pronounced-it Mahgie with the Boston twang, 'has the cutest, juiciest sixteen-year-old cunt in all of Boston."
"He'd caught me with my hand still up to my nose, savoring the fresh smell of Margie's crotch, and I could feel myself grow red in embarrassment. Well, maybe it was half embarrassment and half lust. But just at that moment Charlene came to the rescue.
"I just wonder," she said, 'who has the cutest, juiciest seventeen-year-old cock in all of Boston.' She turned to Margie with a wink.
"My God, I was beginning to feel like the only stodgy old codger there. Jesus, old at twenty-eight. And I used to feel like such a young rebel, putting down all the over-thirties. Now here I was, having started off the evening feeling like a horny young Turk, caught up by Charlene and two teen-age kids in what promised to turn into an orgy. And to think that half an hour ago I'd been wondering how to screw Charlene and maybe get a chance to just talk with Margie in private for a moment. And that was before I found out she was only sixteen-I'd figured her for eighteen.
"Margie laughed. "Ted has the juiciest seventeen-year-old cock," she said pointedly.
"Charlene had one of her brazen moments which is on of the things I dig her for. She leaned toward me, unzipped my fly, and flipped out my half-hard dick with such panache that Margie gave a little exclamation of surprise or admiration.
"Well, here's the juiciest cock that's old enough to vote!"
"Ooh golly," said Margie in an awed voice that made me swell with pride. "Lookit all the muscles in it. . . . Oooh.' She gazed at the swelling shaft with fascinated eyes, so close to it I could feel her sweet breath, warm and zephyr-like.
"With one hand she gingerly stroked the pulsing organ, from its base to the swollen head, caressing the glans with a molto adagio of agonizing sweetness. "Golly," she breathed, 'the skin there feels just like velvet.' She ran her fingers tenderly along the underside of my whang, and it gave a surge that made the tube there swell out impressively. I know because Charlene has told me she can feel that thing pulsate with knots of semen when I come. She says it stands out about half the thickness of my thumb.
"Jeez, that's quite a cock.' Ted had moved up to the bed, joining our little group. The bulge in his trousers had grown bigger, extending down one leg a good six inches. "I bet it's a great one to suck, huh?" He gave Margie a fleeting smile.
'"Now, Teddy," she said, 'don't be jealous.' With not as much aplomb as Charlene but quite enough for her tender age, she unzipped Ted's fly and pulled out his cock. It was three-quarters hard, throbbing, and quite massive enough for a kid of seventeen. "There now. You're free as a bird. And your little dicky won't feel left out.' She tittered charmingly.
"Not only shouldn't it feel left out," said Charlene, taking it daintily between finger and thumb, 'but it should feel left in.' And she popped it into her mouth like so much Polish sausage. "MhMhmhmmmmmmmm' she said, straining her mouth along the stiffening column.
"A gasp escaped through Ted's clenched teeth as, with magical dexterity, Charlene undid his pants and pulled his pants and shorts down to his ankles, missing scarcely a beat of sucking on his dick. The violin crescendoed.
"Ooh," piped Margie, like a muted bassoon. Her gaze was fixed on Charlene's mouth sucking Ted's cock, but her hands, as if she were unaware of them, were busily undoing my pants and shorts and sliding them over my knees.
"Ted, with both hands, seized Charlene's tits, braless, huge and firm under her light dress, and squeezed them and rolled them around rhythmically. She pulled her mouth from his penis for a moment.
"Seated one day at the organ . . . " she sang with moist lips.
"I was horny and ill at ease . . . " I continued, laughing.
"And my fingers wandered idly . . . " She caressed his balls and the inside of his thighs, while he supported himself on her shoulders to control his trembling.
". . . up between her knees," I sang, plunging my hands up the dresses of both girls and squeezing large handfuls of crotch, pussy, and ass. My hard on was a marble column, throbbing and dancing around.
"Babbling delightedly, Margie brought herself quickly to her knees. She lowered her face to my cock and, brushing away a few intruding strands of her hair, she dropped her moist young mouth halfway down the length of my stiff gristle. She gave a long sigh that soughed through her throat and nose and sent a delightful shiver up my spine. Then she gave a long, soft moan like a . . . a musical heifer lowing over an especially succulent mouthful of clover.
"God! what a suck. My mind snapped. My brain reverberated with my cock. I seized Margie's panties without thinking and tore them down-literally. Blindly I groped into Charlene's half-unbuttoned bodice and grabbed a handful of hot tit. I strained my head forward to stuff a nipple in my mouth and sucked in-Ted's cock.
"In my frenzy, it was a couple seconds before I fully realized that I had a stiff dick in my mouth. I jerked my head back and stared at the fleshy red glans inches from my face.
" What the-'
"Ooh," squealed Charlene, 'it's cock-sucking time for everyone!"
"And before I knew what was happening, she pushed my head back, fixing my mouth on Ted's cock again. Out of the corner of my eye I could see her easing around behind Ted's ass, and I felt a twinge of jealousy, knowing she was spreading his ass cheeks to tongue around his asshole and balls. With one hand I reached through Ted's legs, unbuttoned the rest of Charlene's bodice, and began mashing her breasts around and gently squeezing her nipples.
"The other hand was busy pulling the torn panties from Margie's sleek legs. She was fumbling with them herself, trying to help me and still keep her lips wrapped around my skin flute. I got turned on by her contortions: the fevered eyes and craning neck, the desperate fumbling of her hand-one was cradling my balls and stroking my cock-and the dog-paddle movement of her legs as she tried to slide the panties over her feet. All the time, of course, I was rubbing my hand up and down her moist crotch, waiting for the moment I could sink a couple fingers into the pulpy slit of her cunt. She never for a moment, thank God, stopped squealing and buzzing the nerve ends of my cock.
"It was strange in a way, now that I think back on it. The way I concentrated on Charlene's tits, Margie's lovely blonde snatch, and her frenzied sucking on my cock. It seemed almost as if, in that way, I could shut out the fact, the astounding fact, that I was actually sucking a cock myself-and enjoying it, at least a part of my mind was. Every time I felt turned on, of course, Ted groaned or gasped, because I would instinctively suck harder or better or differently on his cock.
"It was a new experience to feel his hard gristle under the velvet skin, the smooth glans and thick, pliable foreskin, the pulsing of the whole thick organ against my tongue and cheeks. I had a mind-blowing few seconds while I imagined I was Margie sucking on my cock.
"Just about the time I found myself really beginning to enjoy sucking a cock, Margie's panties came off and I got a good feel of firm thighs and tight, slippery pussy. I had a blasting vision of my face tucked securely between firm, chubby hams, my mouth plastered tight against Margie's blonde quim, Margie writhing and moaning in the grip of. . . .
"God! 'Cunt," I yelled, pulling my mouth off Ted's dick. I was wound up in high rut. I flipped Margie on her back as she pulled her bra off, lifted her thighs with my hands and shoulders, and plunged my face into the pink and gold creases of her wet crotch. Jesus! what heaven. And her moans were a chorus of cherubim.
"What a tight, slippery quim it was! I speared two inches of tongue into her vulva, all sugar and glue, and it was like sticking my tongue in Charlene's asshole, it was so tight. Jesus, I thought, what a fuck she'd be, as her groin quivered tightly against my face. With both hands she pulled my head in, mashing my nose deliciously against her mons.
"Eat me! Eat me!' Charlene's fervent demand cut into my consciousness. She grabbed my hair, threw one knee over my head onto the bed, and sat firmly on my face, pulling her two fingers from her twat only when she felt my hot lips sucking her perineum.
"I felt a juicy mouth envelop my throbbing dick, and sank my tongue into Charlene's swampy cunt with vengeance. One of my hands grabbed the head at my cock-Ted's I noted in passing-and the other pushed a finger to the last joint up Margie's tight, pulsing tube.
"I damn near shouted in delirium and heard faint echoes of a responding chord as Charlene's pussy opened like a heated furnace and inundated my face with the salt slut of churning cunt juice. Beyond the slush and slop of wet thighs and crotch I heard her shriek of 'Fuck! Come! Oh, Jesus!' Her vulva nipped and crawled over my spluttering mouth.
"The renewed vigor of Ted's sucking on my cock told me that Charlene's orgasm had had a salutary effect on his libido. Margie had seized my hand and its twat-enveloped finger and was masturbating mightily with high-pitched moans and gut-wrenching sighs. Charlene's crotch-heat spread throughout my body as the Mendelssohn Violin Concerto chorded to a close."
In analyzing and comparing the behavior of Luke and Ted, we find that they both fall well within the parameters of a category which Kinsey delineated as representing a substantial proportion of the male population. This category includes males who, with a great deal of variety, have had sexual experiences which are both heterosexual and homosexual.
In Sexual Behavior in the Human Male, Alfred C. Kinsey and his associates explain quite thoroughly the fact that human male sexual behavior frequently encompasses both heterosexual and homosexual activity:
Some of the males who are involved in one type of relation at one period in their lives, may have only the other type of relation at some later period. There may be considerable fluctuation of patterns from time to time. Some males may be involved in both heterosexual and homosexual activities within the same period of time. For instance, there are some who engage in both heterosexual and homosexual activities in the same year, or in the same month or week, or even in the same day. There are not a few individuals who engage in group activities in which they may make simultaneous contact with partners of both sexes.
Obviously, the kind of group activity during which Luke is first confronted with homosexual activity is not atypical and Kinsey's study revealed that many individuals had similar experiences.
Thus we may say that Luke and Ted have a great deal in common in this sense. Yet in other ways, their respective sexual identities differ in some significant ways. One of the most significant ways in which their sexual adjustments differ is in terms of their respective self-images.
Luke, on the one hand, quite firmly denies any feelings of homosexuality as an identity and continues to believe fairly solidly in his own masculinity despite his sexual behavior. Ted, on the other hand, gives very little thought to whether he is masculine or feminine, and makes no conscious statement of his beliefs, and yet he can assume that if and when he does think about it, he would not be quite so firmly convinced of his own masculinity. This is due in part to the fact that he seems to have rejected many of the traditional concepts by which we define masculinity culturally.
In their estimations of themselves, Luke and Ted seem to have come to different conclusions regarding their own sexual identities. Luke seems to feel that he is quite masculine, regardless of his homosexual experiences. Ted seems, in contrast, to have rejected the concept of masculinity out of hand and to be in the process of redefining himself by other, more personal standards.
This process of assigning oneself a sexual identity is nearly universal and a necessary aspect of the maturing of the personality. Martin L. Hoffman and Lois Wladis Hoffman in Child Development Research discuss the inevitability of the assuming of a sexual role:
We have defined sex role standards as a publicly shared belief regarding the appropriate characteristics for males and females. But the abstracted concept of the ideal male or female, as viewed by the culture, is to be distinguished from a particular individual's conceptualization of his own degree of masculinity or femininity. Such a conceptualization is determined, in part, by the degree to which an individual believes he possesses sex-typed traits. The degree to which an individual regards himself as masculine or feminine will be called his sex role identity. . . . Although the individual's assessment of his masculinity or femininity comprises only one aspect of his identity, it is mandatory that the individual assign himself a value on this dimension.
Thus we cannot suppose that Ted is indifferent to his own degree of masculinity, but merely that he is unable to utilize the traditional concepts comfortably. This is somewhat typical of his generation in many areas.
Another factor which makes it difficult to evaluate Ted's own sex role identity is his lack of introspection and his inability to discuss fluently his feelings about himself. While Luke is freely able to share his own speculations, Ted is simply able to report events without discussing his own reactions. This difference in the two personalities does not directly reflect on the sexuality of the subjects, but it does make it difficult to achieve an insight into Ted's view of himself.
Another significant difference in the two separate experiences is their relative relationship to each other in the group situation. Ted, although the younger of the two men by almost a generation, is the more experienced as a bisexual and introduces Luke to this activity with the manipulative aplomb of an entrepreneur.
This fact indicates the possibility that for Ted the bisexual experience plays a far more important role in his life, and its implications are more significant in terms of understanding his personality. This is especially true since it appears that he has actively sought these experiences, whereas Luke falls into it almost coincidentally.
Although Luke's response to the experience was favorable, in that he felt it opened up the way toward a looser, more open way of life for him, it does not seem indicated that bisexuality will play a major part in his continuing sexual adjustment. It seems that his interest in it is part of a cultural obligation to experiment rather than an internal pressure.
In Ted's case it is more possible that those internal pressures exist which would push him toward frequent homosexual contact.
Using Kinsey's classification, which is thoroughly explained in the introduction, we can rate Luke at 1 on the scale, predominantly heterosexual, only incidentally homosexual, and Ted at the midpoint of 3, equally heterosexual and homosexual. This difference in rating appears to be the most significant difference between the two individuals.
"You see, when a girl I'm with has a good orgasm it kind of makes me feel good all over. Frequently I have pretty good control over my sexual enjoyment, my orgasm. It didn't always used to be that way. When I was nineteen, twenty, I could sometimes give about half a dozen pokes and whammo! It'd be all over. But at the advanced age of twenty-eight, well, it warmed the heartels of my cock to be able to fuck a chick so she'd have at least two orgasms-three if possible-before I shot my nuts off.
"But this particular time, Charlene had decided to be happy with just one nice, gooey come. She was eager for Margie to have a little fun too. And I think she sneakily wanted to get back to chewing Ted's ass, which made me a little jealous, because it had been about a month since she'd gone around the world on me.
"C'mon, honey," Charlene said to Margie, 'take those puny old fingers out of your snatch and give Luke a chance to give you his special treatment."
"Jesus, did I ever want to bury my face in that golden-haired pussy of Margie's. But when she finally pulled back her glassy-eyed concentration from her masturbatory fantasies, the first thing her gaze fastened on was Ted sucking my dick. She seemed so enthralled I had to look myself.
"My God, Ted was really sucking up a storm down there. He had hold of the base of my cock and was jerking it up and down a couple of inches, while his mouth managed to swallow the remaining five or six inches. I'd never seen my cock look so turgid, so distended and veined. It reminded me of one of those gigantic penises you see in some Japanese erotic prints. Where the cocks are big enough to satisfy a mare.
"And he really knew how to use all the muscles in his mouth. This guy is really a practiced cock-sucker. Not, I might say, as good as Charlene, who made me climb walls whenever she even got the cocksucking look in her eyes. But Ted knew how to apply the tongue, how to caress the whole length of my hard-on with his cheeks, he even shook his head a couple times like a terrier with a bone. That made me wonder if he'd taken lessons from Charlene.
"Charlene was showing off her big breasts, wide ass, and muscular legs, was on her knees behind Ted, parting his ass cheeks and jamming her tongue into the crevice and licking around his balls. It made my cock throb just thinking of what she was doing to him.
"Margie, bless her pounding heart-I could tell it was pounding because I had one hand on her firm, perfectly formed left breast-could not tear her gaze from my angry red, rampant cock. "Ooh, cock," she kept whispering as if in a trance. "Ooh, I want cock."
"Cunt!' I moaned. "I want cu-' and buried my open mouth in the wet, golden, glistening tufts of hair on her labia, spearing my tongue into the pink flesh of her vagina.
"Almost immediately I felt tiny tremors in her abdomen, little mucous love-nips from her gluey twat. I fixed my eyes on her face and took long laps of her pussy, flicking the tip of my tongue firmly against the erect bud of her clitoris. Her mouth began to gape like a fish out of water, her face flushed crimson, and she writhed so that I had to brace her ass with both hands to keep her from bruising her clit against my teeth.
"I felt Charlene's long, slender fingers creep across one cheek of my ass and begin to play with my asshole. "Oh," I heard her say, 'Margie's going to come.' My cock throbbed and the juices boiled in my balls.
"Yes, come!' Margie moaned in a high, raspy voice. "Come! Come! Come!' The inner lips of her cunt seemed to get fiery hot and purse out to grip my slavering mouth, my dancing tongue. The tip of my tongue plunged into thicker and thicker mucus every time I licked. Her clit hardened like a firm, slick raisin.
'Come!' she yelled as her crotch turned to hot mush, her clit pulled back almost into its hood, and I had to tongue like mad to keep her riding the breaking crest of frenzied orgasm. Her hands grabbed my head and pulled my hair but I was too busy to feel pain. Again and again her mons beat against my lips, beating to the same fucking time as the goddamn rock 'n' roll music now blaring from the hi-fi.
"Come come come come come!' she moaned endlessly. My tongue and lips were quickly covered with her sugar and glue.
"And then, with a wrenching of the gut, I came. The searing spasm of my nuts-combined with Charlene's well-timed finger penetrating my asshole-brought a shout of agonized ecstasy to my lips. I came with a jolt like someone had hit me on the ass with a mallet in endless, hot jets of thick come that Ted sucked out of my dick hungrily. My moanings and jerking brought renewed spasms from Margie, whose crotch got, if possible, hotter and wetter. I felt warm juices run over my hands and fingers. I brought my hands to her breasts and smeared them with her cunt oil.
"After half a dozen searing jets of come had flooded from my jerking cock, my orgasm abated to a watery flow. Ted took his mouth from my cock with a sigh. His place was quickly taken by Charlene, her finger still up my ass. She mouthed and licked the last few dribbles of come from my half-hard dick.
"Margie finally relaxed completely and let go of my hair. I almost hated to take my face out of that warm, wet flesh smelling of young cunt, out of the swamp tangle of damp gold. But I always got a charge out of seeing Charlene with her lips wrapped around my root. I lay back and watched, my cheek nestled against Margie's hairy mons. I'll be damned if the rock 'n' roll wasn't playing some song like 'Baby, Let Me Bang Your Box."
"Ted, his lips still shiny with my come, sidled around to the back of Charlene, spread her ass cheeks and, with a 'Little come up the ass' remark, stuck his pursed lips against her anus and jammed what must've been three inches of tongue up her asshole, the way her eyes bugged.
"I smiled, relaxed, and tapped out rhythms on Margie's wet cunt. In many ways I couldn't bring myself to believe I actually had a guy suck my cock-or that I had sucked cock myself."
The following is a reconstruction of interviews with Ted, age seventeen.
"Oh yeah, man, I knew that Luke would really groove on Margie. Shit, I'd seen him at the recital looking at her. Couldn't take his eyes off her fluting.
"I knew when I suggested we go to his place he'd jump at the idea. When you go both ways like I do, you can usually tell when a guy might be persuaded to swing both ways too.
"Now, don't get me wrong, I don't dig only guys. I dig cock and cunt, balls and tits, assholes, male or female. I dig cocksucking and cunt-lapping, balling cunts and assholes. Usually it's the straight gays-or the pure gays-who can spot another gay or bi guy.
"Me-God, I'd be banned in Boston if they knew about my sex life. I'm from Dorchester, really, not Boston proper. By the time I was ten years old I'd had my cock sucked by the girl next door and the guy down the block. When I was thirteen I screwed the girl-next-door's younger sister and cornholed the guy down the block.
"Anyway, one of the things I like about Margie is that, for a sixteen-year-old, she's a swinger in her own way. She's got this cute way of snickering when she's balling or blowing you and saying, Oh, it's dirty. What we're doing is dirty, dirty, dirty.' And then she honks on your cock like she hasn't eaten in a week.
"It was Margie who first met Charlene and told me about her. "I can tell," she said, 'by the fevered glint in her eyes that she'd be a great fuck.' This while grabbing at the concrete bulge in my pants. "And I think she might even want to suck my pussy.' She pulled up her dress and massaged her cunt. She dropped on her knees and blew me right there, in the hallway of the apartment building.
"So anyway, I knew that Luke would much prefer not to do a dumb thing like go for coffee. When I suggested his place, we were all set for it. Especially since I had the record with this 'Baby, Let Me Bang Your Box' cut on it. Margie'd heard it once, and she got hot just listening to the lyrics. And it's a funny thing, but playing the flute always makes her feel sexy.
"Me, I was eager to fuck and suck. Pussy and cock. And I just knew that Luke had to be hung. Charlene had told Margie he was, and Margie of course passed the word on to me. "I've always wanted to watch you suck a cock," she said. "And I'm determined," she added, 'to be an even better cocksucker than you.' She grinned and stuffed her hand down the front of my pants as we strolled down Commonwealth Avenue behind Charlene and Luke.
"When we got to his place, he insisted on putting on this goddamn classical music. Shit. The only time I like classical music is when Margie is playing her flute. And then I can only take it for so long before I say, unzipping my fly and pulling out my dick, 'Come over here and blow a tune on this.' And she usually does. She really wants to be a top-notch cocksucker.
"Actually, it turned out for the best-Luke putting on that classical shit. Because it seemed to turn on Charlene really fast. There was about five minutes of idle conversation, and then Charlene moved in to put her hand on Luke's knee. He kind of cagily slipped a hand up Margie's skirt, and she trapped it there. I was watching all this by the reflection in the window, while I seemed to be digging the hi-fi setup.
"Well, I turned around just in time to catch a lot of talk about juicy cunts and stiff cocks. And Charlene whipped out Luke's whang, which made my mouth water the minute I saw it. All muscle and blood that thing was. I could see Margie's eyes light up. I figured it'd be a rat race to see who could get that cock in their mouth first, Margie or me.
"Boy, was I in for a surprise. When I came over for a closer look, Margie flipped my cock out. Before I knew what was happening, Charlene had it in her mouth and everybody was going crazy. Margie sucking Luke's cock, Charlene sucking mine, Luke playing squeeze-tit and finger-cunt.
"And then-Holy Toledo! if Luke didn't have his mouth fastened onto my dick and wasn't sucking like a baby on a nipple. He pulled away for a minute like he was surprised, but Charlene, swinger that she is, pushed his head so he had to keep on sucking.
"Margie, meanwhile, was doing a real good blow job on Luke's huge cock. Really enjoying herself, playing with his nuts and squealing in delight.
"Charlene got out of the chair, where she'd been letting me play with her big boobs, and got to her knees on the floor behind me. I felt her cool, capable hands caress the cheeks of my ass and then spread them, so I could feel her warm breath fanning the tiny hairs of my ass and blowing on my asshole. I wasn't sure what was coming up next, but it sure turned out to be good.
"Zap! With a little sigh and smacking of her lips she stuck her mouth right up against my asshole and slipped her tongue up there. Jesus, I thought I'd go berserk. I'd never had that sensation before of somebody sticking a slippery tongue up my anus. What a weird feeling it was.
"Luke, though, had gotten carried away by grabbing Margie's crotch and he stopped honking on my dick and started licking like mad on Margie's nice, chubby cunt. That gave me a great opportunity to do what I wanted to since I'd first seen Luke's colossal whang.
"Everybody must've been pretty damn horny, 'cause just as I sank to my knees to take Luke's cock in my mouth, Charlene yelled, 'Oh God, eat me, eat me!' and slipped her hands off my ass and went over and sat on Luke's face. Jesus, did he ever slosh around in her twat. I watched him shove a finger deep into Margie's wet snatch and then I took his gigantic tool and slid my mouth onto it.
"And what a great mouthful it was. Jeez, it's sucking cocks like that that really convinces you it's a toss-up between eating cunt and sucking dick. The damn thing must've been eight inches long and as thick around as my wrist. The head -well, the head! was so big it damn near choked me when I got it to the back of my mouth. And you could feel the steady beat of the pulse in the thick veins along his whang. I kind of twiddled his balls with one hand. I know I really dig that when a chick does it to me. Christ, his balls, even, were a good handful for me.
"Out of the corner of my eye I could see that Margie was grooving on the whole scene. I gave her a look and winked. Then I reached out and took a handful of Charlene's tit. She really started to wig at that. Grabbed my hand and mashed it against her tits. Ground her crotch mercilessly against poor Luke's face. And Margie had hold of Luke's head and was ramming it into her snatch like it was a dildo.
"Jeez, talk about lucky Pierre! Lucky Luke was eatin' pussy, grabbin' handfuls of crotch, and get-tin' his cock sucked all at once. I have to admit that I couldn't help playing with myself every once in a while, just to keep the old pecker thrilled, you know.
"Margie, bless her young, twisted mind, managed to sneak a foot over behind me and twiddle a couple toes into my asshole. Not both at the same time, you understand. And I think she must've spit on them, 'cause she got her big toe in about half an inch.
"That made me suck twice as hard on Luke's throbbing tool. I jerked the base of it a few times and felt the veins bulge spasmodically. The head swelled till it felt like a hot orange stuck halfway down my throat. A small spurt of gooey come trickled out the end of his cock and coated my tongue. "Hot damn!' I thought, 'it's almost there."
"Charlene came like a storm at sea, rocking and swaying back and forth, making sounds on Luke's face like the lapping of waves. She pulled his hair and yelled, 'Come come come!' Margie stuck a finger up Luke's asshole and mine at the same time.
"That did it! Luke's stiff cock gave a couple tremendous jerks and-wham!-came like a cannon. The force of the first bolts of jizz splattered against the back of my throat and damn near ran out my nose. Splurt, splat, splurt-I thought the damn load would soak through my eardrums. A few teaspoons ran out the side of my mouth, but I managed to keep most of it in because I had a groovy idea.
"As soon as I took my mouth from Luke's whang, Charlene took my place and did the finishing sucks on him. Ho, Christ, I thought his eyeballs would fall out. But she gave me a great chance to carry out my little surprise plan. I knelt behind her, spread her ass with my hands, pressed my mouth against her swampy anus, and jammed my tongue and a whole mouthful of creamy come up her ass. Her squeal of delight really turned me on.
"And, by golly, they were playing our theme song-Margie's and mine-'Baby, Let Me Bang Your Box.' Jeez, my cock and balls were so buzz-full of hot load I could hardly stand it.
"I caught Margie's eye and saw immediately the 'yeah, fuck me' look. She rolled off the bed, kind of pushed Charlene away from Luke's still throbbing and drooling cock, and at the same time presented me with a great view of her wet, red, palpitating slit. I put the head of my cock against her tight pussy lips and pushed in just the head. Sheer heaven.
"Inch by inch I slid my cock into Margie's tight, slippery hole, enjoying her 'oohs' and 'aahs' and slobberings over Luke's stiffening tool. When I got in as deep as I could go, Margie gave a cute little squeal. I felt her cunt squeeze down on my cock and damn near went out of my mind. I drew back and rammed into her as hard as I could without tearing her up. She went ape shit. I grabbed her tits and gave two or three long, deep thrusts and felt my load burst from my nuts. Splat! it throbbed through my jerking whang and flooded deep into Margie's hot twat.
"After what seemed like an endless orgasm, I sagged, spent, onto Margie's sweaty back, my tool still dripping jizz into that pulsating hole of hers.
"Luke, that sex maniac, was just beginning to get hard again, and Margie started to work over his dick and mouth it like it was the only thing in her life. Ahh, young love."
For Luke, since he has responded favorably to the experience, it is likely that he may incorporate this kind of activity into his life with little disruption of his self-image or general value system.
For Ted, it seems to be indicated that due to his youth and to the fact that he is balanced now between his heterosexual and his homosexual impulses, some confrontation with his own sexuality and some definite choice in one direction or the other may be necessary in the future.
CHAPTER TWO
Betty's Cousin Had a Farm
"I love staying at my cousin's farm. Not just because it is a huge, gorgeous, spacious farm, with fields and forests I or any other fifteen-year-old girl would love to run through. Not just because my uncle Jim and Aunt Edna treat me as if I were a young princess. Not just because they're rich (so are my parents). Not just because it allows me to escape from my common-day life. Mainly, I love my visits every summer to my cousins' farm because I get the greatest sex in the world there. And it was there-two years ago when I was thirteen-that I had my first sexual experience. Also my first oral, anal, and bisexual experiences. Thanks to my cousins
-Dave, Cynthia and Janine.
"Two summers ago, at the time of my first stay at the farm, Dave was the oldest of my three cousins, being sixteen. Cynthia was a year younger than him, fifteen. Janine was the baby of the three brothers and sisters; she was only twelve, a full year younger than I was. Coming to the farm that June for a two-week vacation, I saw them and they saw me for the first time. We'd never met before. In fact, I'd met Aunt Edna and Uncle Jim only once before, the previous March, when they offered the invitation.
"Uncle Jim picked me up at the bus station and drove me to the farm. Right away I liked him. He was a fat, fiftyish, jovial man, full of kindness and laughter, who loved to tease you in a fun way. Aunt Edna was in the kitchen when we got to the farm. She, too, was large-and just as kind as her husband. She enfolded me in her heavy arms just as if I were a child of hers.
"Then my cousins were called downstairs to meet me. Right away I could tell they were different, that they were unlike other teenagers-though I didn't know exactly in what way yet. The main thing was the way they looked at me; and it was very strange. They looked at me the way I'd caught older guys, guys eighteen or older, looking at me sometimes lately. I should explain that I was rather exceptional looking by the age of thirteen.
"I don't want to sound conceited, but to be honest I have to say that by the time I was thirteen -even a year before that-I knew that I was considered a knockout as far as looks go. And I knew why. Not only did I have a beautiful face -natural corn silk-blonde hair, worn long; wide, uncommonly blue eyes; a pert, freckled nose; and a shape of head my father called 'Grecian'; besides that my body had blossomed out to the dimensions of a well-stacked girl six years older. Though my waist remained teeny-weeny, my butt looked like two giant balloons stuck in my faded jeans, and my breasts, even at this age, were enormous-outrageously so-they stood out underneath whatever I wore like two firm watermelons. The dark areas at the peak of each were as big or bigger than the whole breasts of most girls my age I saw in the gym showers. I was the envy of all of them. For a while I was embarrassed at my freakily endowed young body, but after a while I got to appreciate it as a gift of nature, and a very generous gift at that. Sure, I caused a sensation when I walked down the school hall without a bra under my sweater-just those monstrous tits with their cherry-sized nipples poking a huge dent in the material-but what's wrong with a sensation now and then?
"Despite the overwhelming size of my knockers, most people-young or old-had the decency or timidity to shy away from staring at them or at the rest of my body. Not my cousins. When they came downstairs and saw me that first time they just stood there, looking me up and down, unashamedly. The two girls as well as the boy. Uncle Jim didn't seem to notice their unusual attention. He just said, 'You kids take Betty outside and show her around before supper's ready. I'll help your mother set the table."
"The kids showed me around, and I found out right away that they were actually very nice, the kind of children you would expect someone like my aunt and uncle to have. But their attitude definitely went beyond the usual kind of friendliness teen-agers have-I knew they had a sexual interest in me.
"Yes, they. Not only did Dave give me searching looks and brush up against my hip or breast every once in a while, but the two girls-even little Janine-did it just as much. And to my surprise, I found out I didn't mind!
"Probably one of the reasons I didn't mind was that all three of them were very nice looking. Dave was already full-grown-six feet tall and quite muscular. And I couldn't help but notice the bulge in the front of his jeans. Cynthia, the fifteen-year-old, was almost as well-built as I was, with large breasts that were much like mine, but which drooped just a little more (neither of us wore a bra). Janine's breasts were just getting started-little apples with obviously large nipples that poked against her shirt. Both of the girls had black hair, rather closely cropped. But Dave, even though both of his sisters and parents had dark hair, was unexplainably red-headed, and had a typical redhead's complexion, freckles and all. He was quite handsome, and the two girls were very pretty-almost beautiful; Cynthia in a voluptuous way and Janine in a more pixieish way.
"Supper was good, normal, and fun. The kids acted just like any well-behaved country kids, and the weird feelings I'd gotten earlier went away. That is, until supper was over and I went upstairs with my cousins to Dave's room to watch TV before we went to sleep (my aunt and uncle and cousins go to bed around 9:30, which would seem awfully early to most of my city friends).
"Well, we sat around Dave's bed and watched the TV for about an hour, but then it got pretty boring so we started to talk. At first we just talked about our different lives-how different it was to live in the city from the country-and there wasn't anything strange or out of the ordinary besides the way they continually looked at me funny, which I began to get used to. But after a few minutes, the talk suddenly got very frank.
"You sure got some big boobs on you, Betty," Dave said as he sat not two feet from me on the bed, his eyes zeroed in on my sweater.
"I stuttered a long moment, not knowing how to react to such a direct and unusual compliment.
"Yeah, you sure do," Cynthia piped in. "They're even bigger than mine and they don't hang down so much. They just stick out there like a couple of torpedoes or something, and I can tell you ain't got no bra."
"Then the little one, Janine, did the most startling thing of all. She'd been sitting on the floor at my feet, and when Cynthia spoke, Janine reached up and lightly grabbed the breast nearest to her. She poked it with her fingers for a couple of seconds and then, before I could really react, let go and said, 'You're right, sis. Nothin' under that sweater but pure boob. Sure is big."
"All I could do was blush. But they sat there looking at me, up and down, and grinning to beat the band.
"You sure don't have anywheres near that much, do you, Janine?" her brother asked the twelve-year-old.
"Nope. Sure don't," she answered, and then, to my utter amazement, the little pixie pulled her T-shirt over her head. Underneath she was naked above the waist, completely nude, and from her chest, to all of our gazes, stood out her small but -I had to admit-very cute titties, which were topped with some very woman-sized nipples colored a delicate pink.
"Janine!' I cried. "You shouldn't expose yourself like that in front of me and . . . and your brother."
"Oh," Dave laughed, 'I've seen 'em plenty of times. Ain't nothing new to me. But you ought to feast your eyes on 'em. Ain't they pretty, though?'
"Of course. But it's . . . it's indecent."
"Oh, hell," said Cynthia. "It ain't no big deal.' And with that she ripped off her shirt! This was getting out of hand! I averted my eyes from the the topless two.
"Why doncha go ahead and look?" taunted Dave. "A prettier sight you'll never see. Or almost never," he added slyly, implying something.
"I took my hand away from my eyes and faced Cynthia. "See," she said, and bounced up and down as she sat on the bed, making the huge cantaloupes flop around, up and down and sideways. "I bet yours don't shake like that."
"Why don't you bring them on out in the open," suggested the brother, his eyes glued to my sweater. "The other girls have."
"I was starting to feel less ashamed. In fact, I was beginning to enjoy the naughtiness of it all. Though I hadn't had any fucking yet, I'd been with naked boys and girls before and done more than just play Spin the Bottle or Post Office. I was very curious about sex. Still, I shook my head at Dave's suggestion. But I drank in the sight of Cynthia's big bouncy boobs, with their huge dark top areas (about the size of a silver dollar) and Janine's little pert ones, with their tall, stiff nipples.
"Unexplainably, as I looked at them and listened to the taunts of my male cousin, I felt my own breasts swell, my nipples stiffen, and I sensed a growing wetness between my thighs. Dave noticed the stiffening nipples, and pointed them out to his sisters. They chuckled, and again Janine reached up, this time tweaking one nipple through the cloth. I made no attempt to stop her. The nipple really stiffened now, poking a huge indentation in the sweater's fabric.
"Golly!' Dave exclaimed, his eyes bugging. "Then he tweaked my other nipple. "Oh, Dave, don't do that!' I cried, but instead of behaving himself, he started fondling my whole breast through the sweater and he moved toward me, pushing me back on the bed, and grabbing both of my tits. His hands were large, but they could not even start to hold all of my breasts. He sat on my stomach and played with me. I cried out for the girls to help me, but they just watched and giggled and egged their brother on. Then Dave, with one strong push, lifted my sweater up to my shoulders, exposing my bare tits to the sight of all. Again, he grabbed them, this time touching and kneading naked flesh. I struggled a bit, but I couldn't get my body to fight against him with too much conviction-and I knew why. I was getting very horny. Finally, I gave up all attempts to stop him, and let my arms drop to my sides. The girls sat on the floor, one to each side of me, and watched their brother's hands shape and caress the white flesh and pinch the upstanding nipples. I began to squirm with passion. And I could feel-and see-Dave's Own passion causing his prick to grow.
"No telling what might have happened then-right before the eyes of the girls, but a voice suddenly came from downstairs: 'Kids! It's time for bed. Turn the TV off and show Betty to her room.' It was Aunt Edna's voice.
"We girls all quickly pulled our shirts and sweaters down over our chests and all of us arranged ourselves in a proper order in case Aunt Edna came into the room. But she didn't.
"So Cynthia and Janine led me down the hall to where Janine's room was. I was to have her room to myself for my two-week stay and she was to sleep with her sister. As I walked into my room I looked down the hall and saw Dave giving me a fiery look. And before I could get inside and shut the door, Cynthia put her arms around me and kissed me on the lips! While she held me in her embrace she rubbed her large breasts against my own. Then she let me go, gave me a slight nudge so that I stumbled into the room, and pulled the door shut on me. I heard the two girls laughing softly as they walked away. I switched on the light, got undressed (I like to sleep without pajamas) and tucked myself into Janine's soft, comfortable bed.
"For a while I just laid there and thought about what had happened in Dave's room. My horniness had not subsided, and thinking about the way Dave had fondled my breasts so unashamedly made me even hornier. Somehow the thought of the two girls watching it all made it even sexier, and I couldn't help myself. I started to do what I often do at home, masturbate. I put my hand between my thighs and felt the soft skin there. I felt the bristly hair that had just begun growing a year before brush against the back of my hand. Then I directed my fingers toward that area. I let my index finger run along the groove which was wet all the way from my asshole to my clit. Once it reached my clit I let the tip of the finger gently rotate there. I involuntarily groaned with the exquisite sensual feeling. My breath was coming loudly and I hoped the girls couldn't hear it through the wall.
"I brought my other hand to my pubic area and carefully thrust the longest finger of that hand into my pussy. I had a long time before broken my cherry-with, of all things, the tip of a banana. I loved to masturbate, whether I used my fingers or any object that was handy. But I couldn't help but feel ashamed of what I was doing, and I tried-always eventually failing-to stop the practice. As I masturbated, getting hornier and hornier, my thoughts ran to Dave, and I imagined what his prick might look like. I had seen it bulging in his pants and I thought it must really be a big one, so I dreamed about it that way, big and red and hard. I imagined him forcing me to kiss it and put it in my mouth, and then I imagined him raping me on his bed, with his sisters watching.
"Then, as I got closer and closer to climax, images of something that had happened to me a couple of months earlier, at a girl friend's house, came to me. I had slept overnight at her house, in a twin bed next to hers, and found myself in the same condition I'd found myself in going to bed at the farm-horny, so horny that I couldn't help but jerk off, despite the fact that my girl friend Joan was sleeping in the next bed. Joan had heard me making gasping and moaning sounds, and asked if there was anything wrong; I abruptly stopped and said no, I was just having a dream. But she said she knew what I'd been doing, that I'd been playing with myself. Then she got out of her bed and came over to mine. She quickly pulled down the covers and exposed my hands thrust into my pajama bottoms, which I'd worn because of staying in the same room with her. She giggled and laid down beside me.
"I do that too," she admitted, and began stroking one of my arms. "I don't see anything wrong with it, do you?'
"I shook my head.
"I know a way to make it even more fun," she said, moving the stroking hand under my pajama bottoms, 'and that's to have someone else do it for you, while you're doing it for them."
"She didn't even ask me if that's what I wanted to do. She just went ahead and did it, pulling my hand over to her panties and putting her fingers onto my pussy. She did it deliciously. And after a few minutes I found myself returning the compliment without even thinking about what I was doing. We both reached tremendous climaxes. We cried out so loud we were afraid we might have awakened her parents, but we didn't.
"She said that next time I came over she would show me an even groovier way for two girls to make love, using their mouths. I knew what she had in mind, and I often thought about it, but I was too scared and turned down her invitations.
"Now, as I heaved on the bed in my cousin's bedroom, bringing myself nearer to a great orgasm with my fingers, I thought of Joan and her touch and her words. I thought of the feel of her pussy and how beautiful her breasts had looked in the light coming through her window. I knew it was wrong, sick, but my mind was in control and it was focused on the thought of not Dave, but a girl, of girls' bodies. Then it was all getting mixed up and crazy as I plowed into my pussy hole with three fingers, searching deeply in the wetness. Pricks and pussies, boys' faces and girls' breasts all flashed through my mind. I was groaning and whimpering, getting, oh, so close. . . .
"Suddenly there was a sound at the door! The knob was turning! I froze. The door opened, letting in a little light from the hall. I saw a silhouette enter. It was Dave.
"Betty?" he whispered.
"Yes?" I was still gasping for breath.
"He closed the door behind him. He walked over to the bed. He sat on it beside me. "I hope I'm not scaring you.' Then I realized he was naked! 'I just couldn't sleep," he went on. "I was thinking about you-how beautiful you are.' Then he noticed how hard I was breathing and asked why. I told him it was just because of the scare. He apologized and asked if I'd mind talking for a little while. I said no, and even moved over a little, making room for him.
"I should explain how I was feeling-I had been very close to a climax, and though his entering had shocked me out of it, I couldn't help still feeling very, very horny. And here was a naked, handsome boy, who had just played with my breasts a half hour earlier, who had been in my masturbation dream, sitting right beside me in the dark. I knew instinctively that something was going to happen.
"We talked quietly, and the talk took little time to turn to sex. He asked me if I was a virgin. I expected that kind of question from him by now and wasn't too surprised. I answered him honestly. But then he asked me something that wasn't as easy to answer.
"Would you like to stop being one?'
"I opened my mouth, but no words came out. In the light from the window I could see a smile grow on his face. He leaned down then, and put his lips against mine, gently, sweetly. One of his large, slightly calloused hands moved beneath the sheets and cupped my naked left breast. I melted.
"Before I knew it, the sheet had been cast aside and our bodies were pressed together, from head to toe. We were French-kissing now; it was only the second time I had done it, and it was great! Even greater was the feel of his muscular body against my own, especially in two places: where my breasts crushed against his hard chest, and where his prick, which I could feel rising like a rocket, was pushing against the insides of my thighs.
"Our mouths broke and his hands were all over me, stroking my back, squeezing my huge breasts as if they were fruit, grabbing my butt with force.
"You're gorgeous, lovely," he gasped. "Even better looking than my sisters. Geez, I never felt a body like this! I can't believe you're only thirteen years old.' He kissed my cheek, my neck. I felt his fingers dig deeply into my breasts. "Goddamn. What a set of tits!' he said, as his hips surged into mine, his prick feeling like it was already full-grown between my thighs.
"Are you going to . . . fuck me, Dave?" I asked, excited but still shy.
"Do you want me to? Do you want me to take my big fat prick and slide it into your cherry pussy?'
"The way I panted into his ear and gripped the muscles of his back gave him his answer. He moved a hand down to our hips and felt his prick and my pussy at the same time. Then he started to move about me, to get in position.
"Wait," I said huskily.
"I moved my hand between us. I couldn't miss it. It was gigantic! As I stroked the long shaft, my mouth went slack.
"Oh Dave! You'd better . . . uh . . give me time to . . . get ready. You're so big! I don't have my cherry anymore-I broke it myself. But I've never . . . I don't think I can take anything that big It's like a . . . a baseball bat.' I was sure, despite my little experience, that he must have been much larger than the average boy in that department, even than the average man!
"Dave brushed his hand against mine, which had a grip on his pole that wasn't about to let go, and ran his fingers along my pussy slit. He brought the hand up to my face. It was wet, almost dripping. And the smell was strong.
" "You're ready for it. You'd be surprised how much a girl's pussy can take. The condition you're in right now, you could take a fuckin' fist up there.' He chuckled and I relaxed some, still stroking his prick. "But okay," he said, 'we'll make extra sure you're ready for my pecker."
"With that he moved downward on the bed, until his face was just above my pussy. I pulled in a great breath of air at the realization of what he was about to do. He was going to use his mouth on me down there! Scarcely before I could think about it, he did it. He spread my thighs with his hands and lowered his face and kissed my pussy! Right in the middle of it. I knew I must be wet and open, because I felt his lips against the inner part of my pussy lips as well as the outer part.
"I jumped a little when he stuck out his tongue and touched it to the wet tissues. He ran it upward slowly, wiggling it back and forth a little, and I groaned with heat. I lifted my hips and ground them into his face. His tongue hit my clit and teased it, and I went into seventh heaven!
"He kept it up for a minute or two, driving me out of my mind, until finally I pleaded with him to stick something in. He lifted his face. It was half-covered with pussy juice. "You want me to stick a finger in, or what?" he teased.
"Your prick!! ' I almost shouted.
"He quickly obeyed. Moving up, he placed his big club, as hard as ever, against where he had been licking. I felt it hit the right spot. "Now," I gasped. He shoved the head in with a slow easy thrust.
"It was tight, and hurt a little, but I didn't really notice the hurt, all I felt was the wonderful friction of prick against my pussy walls, and a tingling spread from there all through my stomach area and then across my body, to my head. I felt like I was going to faint. He thrust again, then again, harder, deeper, until finally his pubic hair was pressed against mine. I'd never been fucked, but it seemed very natural what to do. I ground my hips and fell into the rhythm he set up. He fucked me gently for a while, but kept the gigantic prick plunged deep into my pussy. I felt my pussy walls loosen up as they adjusted to the invader. They'd had hairbrush handles, bananas, fingers, even a fat candle stuffed between them before, but never had they had anything as long and thick as my cousin's-prick.
"We both moaned softly, kissing and licking each other's face. I tasted my own pussy juice on his lips. He dove his long tongue into my mouth and Frenched me as he started to push his prick deeper and longer and faster into my pussy. His prick, though it might have been my imagination, seemed to be growing even bigger as it fucked me. Then I felt it hit something deep inside me with its head, and I gave out a little choked sob as I felt an extra pain and extreme pleasure.
"He was plowing into me now, ramming his huge club in, pulling it out until it almost came loose from my pussy lips, then plunging it all the way back in. We grunted like a couple of pigs. Every thought of the world outside that bedroom had been driven from my mind; all I could think of was prick in pussy, prick in pussy. . . .
"At last my passion grew to its highest peak. With a sensation as if the sun began to form and glow in my head, I started to climax. The burning light grew and grew; it was not just one sun but dozens of them-the biggest one of all at my loins. In the middle of it, Dave's breathing quickened and his hips moved at an unbelievable speed, and I knew he was about there too. Through the fog of my own orgasm I heard him yelp with his. He collapsed on me. I'd been fucked for the first time, but that was just the start of things at my cousins' farm."
Betty's bisexual experiences with her three teen-age cousins, Dave, Cynthia and Janine, can best be understood within the context in which they occur. Her positive response to the sexual experiences offered by her cousins can also be seen as part of a more generally positive response to the warm, loving and casually accepting atmosphere at the farm of her aunt and uncle.
Although she does not specifically say so, Betty is apparently an only child from an urban background. The new and exciting experience of staying on a working farm and participating in the life of a large and affectionate family are both factors which would predispose her to feel favorably inclined toward whatever her cousins might suggest.
When we see the bisexual experimentation of these young people as part of an experience which in other significant ways is also new and adventurous for Betty, it appears to be more natural that she would accept it without undue guilt and strain. She obviously admires her attractive cousins for other reasons, and would probably be interested in emulating them in aspects of their behavior other than their sexual habits. That she also accepts their bisexuality without too many qualms is not surprising.
Also, Betty herself has experimented to a certain extent with the attractions of homosexuality on her own, even before coming to the farm. Although she and her girl friend stopped their experiments at a fairly simple stage due to their unsureness of the acceptability of their behavior, it is apparent that once she saw that such behavior would be entirely acceptable by people she admired, there would be little reason for her to shy away.
The pressure of her peer group is part of her motivation to continue the experiments she had earlier rejected. Also, we can see in Betty a strong desire for approval and acceptance of her developing sexual attractiveness. It is interesting to realize that her experiences with her female cousins do very little to damage her sense of herself as a developing female.
The danger of such experimentation is usually found in the fact that it causes the subject to doubt a not completely established sexual identity. In Betty's narrative, this does not seem to be the case.
Betty seems to be able to separate her actual physical activities from any overpowering significance in terms of her identity. In this way she is not subject to one of the main dangers of homosexual experimentation in the teen-ager. Charles R. Shaw in The Psychiatric Disorders of Childhood points out how this kind of confusion can have negative consequences for many adolescents:
Adolescence. The age of identity. This is the advent of sexual maturity. . . . The danger of this stage is role diffusion. Where this is based on a strong previous doubt as to one's sexual identity, delinquent and outright psychotic incidents are not uncommon.
These dangers are not applicable in Betty's case, however. She seems to have assimilated the fact of her bisexual activities without allowing it to lead her to a questioning of her identity. This is the all-important difference between experimentation as an indication of psychoneurotic disorder and experimentation which does not threaten the individual's sense of identity.
When Betty returns to the city she seeks out similar kinds of experiences with other adolescents. This would indicate that the experience itself is desirable to her, and she is not suffering unduly from the guilt and shame which would plague a less well-adjusted person.
In terms of Kinsey's rating scale, it would appear that Betty's cousins Cynthia and Janine would probably rate at 4, those individuals whose psychological responses are more often directed toward other individuals of their own sex although they maintain a fair amount of overt contact with individuals of the opposite sex. Betty herself at this point to be balanced at 3, with an equal interest in heterosexual and homosexual contact and no apparent strong preference for either one.
In comparing Betty with other females who have had homosexual experiences, we find that in Kinsey's report, The Sexual Behavior in the Human Female, between 4 and ll percent of the unmarried females in the sample had made homosexual responses at least as frequently as they had made heterosexual responses. In addition:
Of the 142 females in the sample who had had tine most extensive homosexual experience, 77 per cent had no or few regrets. . . . Among the females who had already had some homosexual experience, 18 percent indicated that they expected to have more.
Thus we can see that Betty's choice of pursuing other relationships with females is not atypical, and similar choices prevailed in a substantial portion of the females who had been exposed to homosexual sex activities.
Because of Betty's youth and relative lack of experience, we can expect the possibility of change at some point in terms of her sexual preferences. However, it seems unlikely that she will abandon her contacts with females, having had such a positive and favorable response. An additional factor which seems to indicate that she will continue at least some homosexual activity is the fact that she indicates no guilt feelings or regrets thus far.
As we have seen, this lack of guilt and shame is at least in part due to the accepting and affectionate atmosphere surrounding her first bisexual experiences. She ;s introduced to this activity by people she respects and admires, and this predisposition to accept bisexual activities without guilt undoubtedly accounts in some measure for her fairly healthy adjustment.
Another factor in predicting the continuance of bisexual activities for Betty is that she does not seem to be suffering from confusion in terms of her own sex role. Having established a fairly secure female identity for herself, her contacts with other females do not seem to threaten her own picture of herself as a female, but rather to enhance it.
Since this is the case, it does not seem that the emotional discomfort and psychological pressures which affect some people in this position represent a serious cause for concern for Betty.
"My first week at the farm was sure a lot of fun. Each day would be filled with things to do. I'd go help Aunt Edna and the kids pick corn one day, Uncle Jim would give me a ride on his tractor the next, on the weekend we went to a county fair where Aunt Edna won a second prize ribbon and ten dollars for her pickles in the pickle contest-every day was a ball. And so was every night, when cousin Dave would creep into my room and make love to me. Each night he would teach me something new, a new position or something, and by the end of the week I was feeling pretty experienced at fucking and sucking and all the great things you can do with two bodies.
"The girls knew what was going on from the second day, because Dave told them. They still acted funny for girls, often reaching out to give one of my oversized tits a squeeze, talking dirty, making vague suggestions, and things like that when Aunt Edna and Uncle Jim weren't around. Even weirder than that, or at least just as weird, was the way they acted toward each other, and toward their brother.
"They would kiss each other on the mouth! Right in front of me and Dave.
"Not only that, but they'd touch each other in places I'd never dream of touching a girl. Of course, there was that experience with Joan, but I think most girls have something happen to them like that under those circumstances. But that was at night and between me and Joan and secret and all, but though Cynthia and Janine hid their shenanigans from their mom and pop, they certainly didn't make any effort to hide them from me and their brother. Dave, as a matter-of-fact, didn't even seem to notice that there was anything strange. And why should he? He'd kiss and feel his sisters, too!
"That first week it was never much more than a quick, giggling kiss or touch, but on our fifth or sixth night together in bed, Dave told me something that really shocked me.
"He said he made love to his sisters!
"And not only that. He said that Cynthia and Janine made love to each other! All the time!
"Dave told me that having me stay here, which put them in the same bedroom together for a change, just made things handy for them. He said they made love up to three or four times a day, sometimes in bed but more often out in the woods somewhere, or in the barn once in a while. And sometimes he joined them! Or crept into their bedrooms at night, usually 15-year-old Cynthia's, the way he had crept into mine.
"I was shocked at first, but also I was very curious. I couldn't help asking him question after question about his sisters' lovemaking. How did they do it? How long had they been doing it?
What did he do to them? He gladly answered all of my questions-in detail. That night, even after the satisfying orgasm Dave had given me by fucking me from behind, I masturbated when he left my room, thinking about my girl cousins, just on the other side of the wall from me, probably tossing on their bed making love. I reached three more strong climaxes before I collapsed with a sigh and went to sleep.
"The next night I brought up the subject of Cynthia and Janine again, and Dave and I talked about them. When he asked if I'd like to watch them sometime, I quickly said yes.
"It happened the following day. About one o'clock in the afternoon, right after lunch, we four kids waved goodbye to Aunt Edna and Uncle Jim and headed into the woods at the north end of the farm, supposedly to go swimming in the creek there. But we had other things in mind. Dave had asked the girls that morning if they'd like to do their thing in front of me, and they were more than glad to say yes. They gave me sly smiles all through lunch and giggled between themselves. Me, I was just getting hornier as the day progressed thinking about what I was going to see.
"It was worth the anticipation. Those girls were really something to see. Once we got to the clear space, which was smooth and grass-covered, near the swimming hole, the two wasted no time pulling off every stitch of their clothes.
"Right away it was clear that the bigger (actually just bigger-around; she wasn't any taller) and older of the two, Cynthia, was the one who mainly controlled and directed things. She had little Janine, once they were both completely stripped, lay down on her back on the ground. Cynthia, her big, heavy breasts shaking, sat down beside her and put an arm under the younger girl's head. She leaned over and kissed the parted lips of her sister, and the show was underway.
"The kiss continued while Cynthia's fingers moved around and stroked Janine's quivering white thighs, which parted at the caress, and Janine reached up with one of her small, delicate hands and cupped the lush left breast of the bigger sister. Janine's thighs became really spread now and from where Dave and I were sitting, holding each other close, with our eyes glued to the pair before us, we could really see her small pink-lipped pussy now.
"But Cynthia's teasing fingers avoided it for a long time. They played all over the thin girl's body, kneading and caressing, rubbing and pinching the pert breasts with their giant pink nipples, making Janine quiver. After a while, Cynthia moved her mouth down from her sister's to suck in one of Janine's swollen breast-tips. She sucked hard, and then flicked the hard nipple with her tongue. Janine pressed her long fingers into the white flesh of the older girl's much larger breast and moaned.
"Cynthia moved her mouth, with its full red lips, to Janine's other cute breast and focused her attention there, sucking and flicking, until she had her twelve-year-old sister gasping loudly.
"I was doing some heavy breathing myself, as was Dave. He'd put his hand to my own breast and was squeezing it through the cloth of my blouse.
"Isn't this far-out?" " he exclaimed. I answered by placing my hand on his crotch, and lightly rubbing the growing hardness under his jeans.
"Cynthia was going back and forth between her little sister's apple-sized breasts, and now her hand was between Janine's thighs, teasing the pussy's pinkness, opening it, probing the slimy, wet hole until the lips were open and flushed, the slim hips jerking upward at the teasing hand.
"Then Cynthia changed her hold on the young girl, got above her, and lowered herself on the lean body, so that they were face to face, breast to breast, and pussy to pussy. Janine pulled her legs around and lifted her body in a way I felt she'd done many times before. Now the two pussies were plastered against each other. Janine shuddered violently. Her head fell back, her black hair almost touching the grass, her eyes were almost closed, and her ass started to move in circles that got faster and faster. The two pussies slid over each other with a wet slurping sound. Cynthia, too, was caught up in the heat of what they were doing by now, and her face was wracked with sexual feelings. They ground their hips together more and more relentlessly, and they talked like you'd expect a man and woman to talk while making love like this.
"Fuck me . . . oh, fuck me good," little Janine groaned and gasped. "Please, please."
"I will, baby," Cynthia sighed back.
"Fuck me hard. Fuck me hard. Cyn . . . Cyn. Your cunnie'sso hot and wet. . . . "
"Open your legs wider," Cynthia commanded.
"Oh, yes. Oh, oh.. . . "
"Dave and I were rubbing each other like devils by this time, he rubbing my tits and I squeezing his balls and prick through his jeans, but we didn't take the time to undress each other, not even to unzip a fly or undo a button, and we didn't glance at each other once, because we were too hypnotized by the sight before us. Even Dave, who said he'd seen this many times before, was in a trance.
"Cynthia abruptly decided to rearrange their positions, even though she and especially her younger sister seemed on the verge of climaxing. Now she was the one who was lying on the ground, and Janine, without a word having been said, moved above her, but not as the larger girl had gone on top of her. Instead she got so that her face was above Cynthia's tummy, and in turn her own tummy was above Cynthia's face. Instantly the girls dipped their tongues into each other's bellybutton, and then traced the area around the navel. Then Janine moved slightly, so that mouths began to move below the navels, toward their pussies-Cynthia's with its thick patch of black curly hair and Janine's hardly visible fuzz. Meanwhile their hands stroked each other's bodies as busily as Dave fondled my breast.
"Now Cynthia's darting tongue was running along the crack between Janine's thigh and pussy mound, and I heard Janine whimper. But she could do some teasing of her own. She let her open mouth just hover above her older sister's pouting, pink hole, not actually touching the wet lips with her mouth, but breathing hotly on them. Cynthia squirmed and writhed and tried to pull her hips up to make the connection but the skinny girl kept her mouth just an inch from the begging pussy.
"Then Cynthia used a different ploy. She suddenly dove her own open mouth into the young girl's aching pussy and started to eat it out with all her strength, as if she were devouring a meal after going hungry for days. Janine went crazy. She let out a howl that sounded like the dying call of a wild animal, and ground her hips into her sister's working mouth. Then she set about the task of giving pleasure in return.
"I had a good view of what she did from where I sat. I couldn't see exactly what her mouth was doing for a minute or two when she first lowered it onto Cynthia's pussy, because she kept her lips stuck to it the way Cynthia's were on hers, but then she raised her head a bit and brought her tongue out to lap at the flowing slit as if it were an ice cream cone, and I could see very well how the tip of the tongue ran along the inside of the lips, down to the asshole, and then started all over at the clit, licking the length of Cynthia's love groove again and again for at least three full minutes.
"Janine's tongue was unbelievably long and agile, it could do just about anything, as she proved when she tired of the ice cream cone motion. She ran it in circles around her sister's pubic mound, dipped it deep into the crack, whipped it back and forth at an incredible speed on the clit, and performed a variety of other tricks that had Cynthia hip-gyrating like crazy and moaning into the younger girl's own cute little snatch, which she kept her mouth glued on throughout all the action.
"The expert actions of the two girls brought them both to a climax that I was envious of. The orgasms came together. The tongues whipped faster, their heads moving in circles like their hips, and suddenly Cynthia, for the first time in ten minutes, pulled her mouth away from Janine's pussy to yell in great sobbing gasps, 'I'm coming! I'm coming!' Then she attached her mouth once again to the wet hole, and worked on it harder than ever, probably plunging her tongue far into the recesses of the little girl's snatch and rubbing it all around inside as fast as she could. This sent Janine into the obvious signs of a climax, and they writhed against each other's oral caress for a full half-minute in ecstasy, and then the younger girl collapsed on her exhausted sister.
"I had never been so horny in my life. One look in my eyes told Dave what I needed. But, though I had just watched a sex act willingly, I couldn't yet get rid of all my shyness, and I didn't want to be watched myself. Not yet, anyway. So I got up and pulled him into the trees away from the creek and the girls. We fucked fast and furiously, pumping madly, until Dave spurted a jet of come into my pussy, and I writhed with my best climax yet.
"Things got even freakier that second week at the farm. The climax of everything was my next-to-last night at the farm, when Aunt Edna and Uncle Jim had to go to a farmers' meeting that the kids knew would keep them away from the farm for at least four hours.
"As soon as my aunt and uncle had driven off in their pickup, we four kids gathered in Dave's bedroom. Dave had the biggest bed of all, a great big old-fashioned monstrosity that looked as if it could sleep six people comfortably. We found out that it could hold four sexy kids very comfortably.
"The day before, out in the woods, I had overcome my shyness and allowed the two girls to watch me and Dave fuck and suck for an hour in the afternoon. And, just before sunset, Cynthia put her arms around me and kissed me on the mouth-deeply, using her tongue. I didn't object. I didn't hold her or pull her to me, but I didn't push her away. In fact, I kinda kissed her back.
"So when we gathered in the bedroom, I had a pretty good idea of what would happen. I'd masturbated myself silly, in fact, the night before thinking about it. My thoughts were confirmed when I walked into the room and little Janine, who was, like her sister, just my height, put her arms around me, hugging my heavy breasts to her hard little ones, and planted her lips on mine. This time I gave in completely, and wrapped her in my arms. I plunged my tongue deep in her mouth and frenched her hungrily. This is what I really wanted, my brain shouted; and the truth struck me-I was bisexual. And I didn't care. I didn't care at all. All I wanted was sex, sex, sex, and it didn't matter if my partners were male or female.
"All three of my cousins, once Janine had pulled me over to the bed where Cynthia and Dave sat, tore my clothes off and began to make love to my lush body. They divided it among themselves. For a while, Cynthia and Janine each took a breast, licking and kissing them all over and sucking in the nipples, making them rise to attention inside their wet, hot mouths. I could only feel this action going on, though, because my male cousin was probing my open mouth with his tongue, and then accepting my searching tongue in return.
"As the girls mouthed my breasts, they used their hands on my fleshy balloons, too, one of them-I think it was little Janine-squeezing hers so hard, shaping it like dough or clay, treating it so roughly, that I felt as much pain as pleasure in that tit for a minute or two, but then the pain itself seemed to change into another kind of pleasure. Even when she started to bite my swollen nipple-and I mean hard-I didn't push her face away from my breast. In fact, I put my hand on the back of her little head and pulled it closer.
"Cynthia was more gentle, using just her tongue for long moments, using her hands to only smooth and lightly stroke the sensitive skin. Her lips felt like wet velvet on my nipple, and the one in her mouth was just as tormented and excited as the one in the biting younger cousin's. This double pleasure was driving me mad, especially with the heat of Dave's kisses on top of it.
"Before long, I felt a hand-one of the girls' by the feel of it-slip down my body, over my stomach, down to my pubic curls, where the fingers teasingly circled around my mound, not actually touching the pussy lips for a minute, then finally tracing the groove. The fingers found my clit and rotated my little bump, then moved lower and pushed their way into my wetness slot. They plunged in deeply, but carefully, and rubbed the inner walls. The sensation, on top of everything else that was going on, blew my mind and I whimpered uncontrollably into Dave's mouth. Then Dave broke the kiss.
"I lost sight of him immediately. All I could really see, looking down, was the beautiful sight of Cynthia and Janine sucking away at my tortured breasts. I was proud of the way that my big tits, though I was lying flat on my back, jutted high in the air, where they rose into the hungry girls' mouths.
"Then I felt, rather than saw, where Dave had gone. I felt his hand remove the hand that had been playing with my pussy. I felt nothing else for a couple of seconds-he'd removed his own hand, too-then I humped my hips up involuntarily as my pussy felt soft lips kiss them, right in the middle of their silky openness. A tongue came out and poked itself in between my pussy lips. In and out, in and out the tip of the tongue moved, like a tiny, soft, wet prick. I groaned and pulled the heads of the girls tighter to my tits. I raised my hips again and again, trying to make the tongue go deeper in me. Then the tongue-and lips-of my male cousin went wild on my pussy, licking, sucking, kissing, even biting the sensitive pussy.
"At the same moment, Cynthia removed her mouth from my nipple and quickly undressed right before my curious eyes, smiling down at me. Then she leaned down and stuck her big tit in my face. I eagerly took advantage of the offer. I pulled as much of her wide aureole into my mouth as I could get and sucked as hard as I could. I felt her nipple stiffen and harden against the tip of my tongue, and I flicked that tip back and forth as I sucked.
"Yes, yes," she sighed above me.
"The room was full of wet, slurping, sucking sounds-me at Cynthia's tit, Janine at mine, and Dave at my pussy. As I continued to love up Cynthia's big tit, I felt something going on down below. Both Janine and Dave deserted their places on my body. I was terribly disappointed for a brief moment. But then the same areas were being loved, but the feeling was somewhat different, and I figured out what had happened-they had switched places.
"Now it was Janine's little mouth that was exploring my pussy-and doing a far-out job of it too-and it was Dave's lips that were puckered around my inch-long nipple while his fingers tweaked and pinched and pushed at the other one, keeping it just as big and excited.
"Cynthia gave me her other breast to suck for a couple of minutes, then she was ready for some action that would bring her off. She got up on her knees above me and walked on them until her gaping pussy was right above my face. I looked up and knew I wanted to do what she wanted me to do. When she lowered her snatch within range of my mouth, I attached my lips to it like a leech, sucking and sticking my tongue into her soft, gooey pussy. It tasted funny-only slightly different from the taste I'd gotten off Dave's lips after he'd gone down on me-but I soon grew to love it as if it were the sweetest honey. And she really flowed! I think she got even wetter than I did.
"As I sucked off Cynthia, I felt things change again below. Janine's mouth was pulled away from my pussy and something new took its place -the head of Dave's prick. With one quick lunge it was pushed in me all the way. I felt his balls bang against my asshole. Dave must have been extremely excited, because he fucked my snatch like crazy. Suddenly there was a weight on my chest-Janine was sitting on my tits-I felt her bare ass squash the stiff nipples. What was she doing? Then I figured it out-as Dave moved his body at an angle to make room for her as he fucked me, the twelve-year-old was probably kissing Cynthia and squeezing her breasts, helping her to come.
"And come she did! She humped her pussy madly against my mouth and her juices flowed down my cheek. She collapsed to the side and her sister took her place. I sucked her off to a climax too. By the time she collapsed on top of her sister, I was feverish. Dave's fucking was bringing me Close to an orgasm. But he suddenly pulled out of me.
"Turn over," he commanded.
"I did like he said and, with the girls watching now, he propped me up on my knees, but had me keep my shoulders and head low on the bed. I thought he was going to fuck my pussy from behind, the way we had a couple of times before. But I was a bit off the track. He was going to fuck me from behind all right, but not in that hole. Instead, he placed the big, hard head of his prick against my asshole. Quickly he shoved forward. I was not ready, but it was just as well because it made my asshole relaxed, and the prick, wet from fucking my pussy, banged its way into my ass about an inch. I groaned loudly. Lifting my butt higher for a better angle, he shoved again. The prick painfully lodged about half-way in. One more shove did it.. . he was all the way in. I felt like I was going to die, but on top of the pain was a tingling, crazy sensation that grew and grew, and as he began to slowly move his giant club in my ass, this new feeling gradually overcame the pain. So Dave fucked my ass. And I loved it. And as he fucked my ass, Cynthia crawled under us so that she could lick my pussy and watch her brother's prick enter my asshole, and that put her own pussy in my face, so again I sucked her snatch until it was frothing and twitching. Once I looked up and saw Janine masturbating as she watched us. Sooner or later-I lost all track of time-we all came this way. But that wasn't the end of it. We continued to fuck and suck bisexually for the next two hours. And the next day, before I had to leave, we all went out into the woods and had another sex session.
"When I got back to the city I searched out other kids in my neighborhood who were into the bisexual thing, and continued having sex with both boys and girls. But nothing's more enjoyable than visiting my cousins on the farm. They just get better every summer. There's always something new in life to learn, isn't there, and it's nice to have teachers as good as my cousins, Dave, Cynthia and Janine."
Betty has already made a fairly definite choice in terms of her future in that she has gone back to the city and sought out similar bisexual experiences with her peers there. At least for the present, she seems to have accepted a bisexual role with little conflict. Such conflicts as may in time force her toward making a more committed choice do not appear to have yet begun for her.
CHAPTER THREE
Take It as It Comes
"I inherited a few things from my daddy that I'm proud of. A good set of teeth, a wide smile, a good personality, a fine body and enough sense to know I never want to work hard. So how's that for an inheritance?
"Other than that, he didn't give me shit.
"I left my home town of Piedmont, in the backwoods of Virginia, when I was eighteen. There wasn't anything left for me there. I mean, I fucked everything that was worth fuckin', so why hang around?
"I had me my high school diploma and a lot of ambition to have fun. I didn't know where else to go, so I headed for Washington, D.C.
"I started out with fifty dollars, which I'd gotten together by a lifetime of saving and when I was still fifty-six miles from D.C, I didn't have a damned dime. And Piedmont just ain't that far from Washington to be spending that much money. But it was worth it, I guess.
"One of my rides happened to be with this young freaky couple. Myles was his name; Gloria was hers. They were typical freaks: all hair and no roots. Made me look like a stick-in-the-mud. That's what they did.
"I hopped into the front seat next to Gloria, and we started rappin' right off. Those kind of people are good people. Anyway, Myles told me that they were heading for Cincinnati, Ohio, so Gloria could have her baby where her parents were. So her parents could pay for it, I think they meant.
"It wasn't no big news that Gloria was pregnant. Hell, you would have had to be blind not to see it. She had the biggest goddamned belly I'd ever seen on a female, outside of Carly Watson's mare, maybe.
"Anyway, I thought it was nice that they were heading home. I liked that. And they seemed to be happy about the whole thing. They'd been on the road for over a year, pickin' up a buck here and there, stealin' a little when things got desperate, and fuckin' under the stars every night. Sounded damned good, but I was more interested in satin sheets and a lot of green stuff in my pocket. I mean, that sleepin' in the outside could only hold my interest for so long. About one night. But it was nice for them.
"And then Myles started tellin' me about how low they were on cash. Broke was what they were. Stone broke. They'd shot their wad on their last tank of gas.
"Any chance you could lend me some money?" Myles asked after about ten miles of leadin' up to it.
"Don't see how," I answered. "Ain't got much, and I'm gonna need what little I got."
"Myles thought a minute. "I'll let you fuck Gloria," he said finally.
"That didn't shock me none. I knew Gloria wasn't above a little outside activity. She'd been nudgin' my leg ever since I got in the camper. She'd probably fucked half the guys she ever met.
"I looked at Gloria. "How much would you expect me to "lend" ya?" I asked. I knew damned well lendin' money to Myles would be like throwin' it down a well, so I wasn't headin' into anything blind. But Gloria wasn't a bad lookin' girl, big belly or no. In fact, the big belly sort of turned me on. I never fucked nobody who was pregnant before.
"How about fifty?" Myles asked. He might have been a freak, but he sure didn't come cheap. "How about five?" I asked back. "Ten."
"We made a deal.
"Myles asked where I wanted to fuck, and I answered I never fucked in the back of a camper before. Especially with the girl's husband driving.
"We ain't married," Myles said, and then pulled over to the side of the road so me and Gloria could climb in the back.
"I saw Myles adjust the rear-view mirror so he could catch some of the action, and then I got started. Just like I suspected, you could have driven a tractor trailer into Gloria's cunt, but I got a pretty good-sized fuck pole so it wasn't bad at all. When Gloria squeezed her cunt on my prick, it felt good. And that's what I was after.
"I had to fuck her dog-style because of that big belly of hers. But while I was fuckin', I wrapped my arms around her and put my hands on her belly. I swear to God, while I was fuckin' her, I felt that kid jumpin' around. I think even the kid enjoyed the fuck.
"You ever fuck anybody in the back of a camper? While it was movin'? It's a nice feelin', especially when you got a good pussy like Gloria to milk the come out of you.
"We both were bare-assed naked and I was fuckin' the shit out of her. Man, she took all I had to give. She kept tellin' me to 'Fuck! Fuck," so I obliged. And the weirdest part was lookin' up at Myles and seein' him stare at us through the rear-view mirror. It's a wonder he didn't drive the goddamned camper into a goddamned ditch or something. Especially since he was beatin' his meat off while he was doin' all the rest.
"I shoved my cock into that wide-open pussy until Gloria had shot off herself about three times, and then I figured I'd end the whole bit by shooting my whole load of thick, white fuck cream up her hole. Jesus, did that feel good.
"As soon as we were finished, Myles pulled over to the side of the road and let us get up front again. I barely had time to get my pants on before he was parked to the side. Gloria didn't bother none about getting dressed. She just heaved that big belly of hers, and the rest of her-naked as the day she was born-out of the back and into the front. Then, when I was climbing in, I saw why she was so anxious to get up there. She had her head buried in Myle's lap and she was giving him one fine suck job. Christ, she sure was noisy. Slurp, slurp, slurp. Made me horny all over again.
"Finally, though, we got everybody dressed and everybody in the front seat, and took off. But we seemed to drive only about two miles when Myles pulled off the road again. Into this big thicket of trees. I figured at the rate we were going', I'd get to D.C. along about the turn of the century.
"Myles got out of the cab and started stretchin' and yawnin' like he'd been drivin' for six months straight. "Come on out," he said finally. "It's really great here."
"I hadn't intended to get out. Shit, I was bushed just from movin' around, but Gloria nudged me and I got to the ground. Myles had a little handgun pointed at piy belly. "Take your clothes off," he said. When I asked him what for, he told me just so they'd be safe. He told me he'd drop them about a hundred yards down the highway, just so I wouldn't get any ideas of runnin' after them. They were after my money.
"Sorry to do this," Myles said as he put my fifty bucks in his own pocket. "But it's a necessity."
"You ain't near as sorry as I am," I said. I watched that precious fifty disappear into the fuckin' creep's pocket. But what the hell's money good for? Sure, not important enough to get a bullet in the belly. So I shucked out of my clothes and watched them disappear down the road.
"He said he'd throw my clothes out, but all I could find was my pants. I hopped along that highway, duckin' behind trees when a car'd come by. Let me tell you it was really worth a few chuckles.
"I looked for my shirt and shoes and socks for a long time and then finally gave up. After all, I had the most important stuff. So I stood by the highway, naked except for them pants, and stuck out my thumb. I wasn't in too good a shape, either sartorially or financially, but I was still happy. Hell, I'd had more excitement in two hours than I'd had my whole life in Piedmont.
"I got the weirdest looks from drivers. They'd stare and then speed up. Guess they were afraid I'd jump on their car hoods or something. And then finally a good Samaritan stopped. Actually, he screeched to a stop. I ran for the car and hopped in. It was getting to be just a little chilly by that time.
"It was a guy driving. About thirty and a little on the fat side, and a little on the prissy side, but he talked like he had a lot of education. And that's important.
"He pulled the whole story out of me about my episode with Gloria and Myles, and when I was finished he had a roaring hard on pokin' out his pants. It was somethin' to see. Although he looked a little bit ashamed of it. Hell, nobody should be ashamed of a hard on. No matter what the reason for gettin' it is.
"I've got some old clothes I could let you have," he said. "If you don't mind discards, that is."
"Shitkicker," I answered-I sort of liked to call people I'm friendly with 'shitkicker'-'I wouldn't mind a dress, if that's all you had."
"Oh, that's not my bag," he said, really serious. I just laughed.
"Of course, you'd have to come by my apartment," he said, sounding real coy and devilish. I told him that was fine with me.
"I guess you can figure out what I had to do to get those discarded clothes. I spent the niglithe fed me good-and first he sucked my cock and then I fucked him. His asshole felt good. It sure as hell was a lot tighter than Gloria's hole. And he really dug gettin' that prick up his ass. Man, he moaned and groaned and begged and whimpered. It was really somethin'.
"The next morning, I was set to go. I was all dressed-his clothes were a little big for me but they were better quality than I'd ever had in my life-and had another good meal in my belly. And he had offered to drive me to downtown Washington. But before we left, I had something to bring up. "Hey," I said, trying to sound real chummy, 'how about lending me a few bucks."
"The smile dropped from his face like it was a ton of bricks hangin' from a cobweb. "I never pay for it," he said, and he sounded nasty all of a sudden. That pissed me off. I didn't say nothin' about payin' for the fuck he'd had. I just wanted a loan. I'd never pay it back, but it sounded nicer callin' it a loan.
"Well, you're gonna pay for it this time, shitkicker, or I'm gonna cut that little twiddle de-whack of yours off and stick it in your fuckin' fruit mouth."
"Jesus, you never saw a hand go to a pocket so fast in all your days. "H-h-how much?" he asked. I saw a twenty on top of his pile, so I thought I'd settle for that. Don't want to be greedy.
"I took the twenty myself and told him I was ready to go. He was still shakin'. He didn't know it but I'd never go through with my threat. Shit, I wouldn't even hit him. I don't go in for violence, but every once in a while you have to play a part to get eatin' money. After all, I'd planned on livin' on what I could earn with my cock, so why not start with him ?
"We didn't say two words on the drive in. But when I was ready to hop out, he put this little piece of paper in my hand. "Call me," he said. Then I got out and he took off. I looked at that little piece of paper and thought, Holy shit. I fuck him and I rob him and he still wants me back. That made me feel good.
"I went straight toward a men's shop and got myself a pair of jeans, and paid two bucks for them to alter the pants the trick had given me so they'd fit. Then I bought this shirt. That shot fifteen bucks. Jesus, things sure are expensive.
"I tried to rent a room at the YMCA but I didn't have enough money. And do you think they'd trust me? Hell, no. Cash or starve, that's their motto.
"So I headed down the street, and luckily walked by this guy who looked me over so good, I thought he was gonna come in the street. I stopped to talk to him. He wanted to suck my cock, but he was in a hurry.
"We could go to my car," he said. "It's in the back of a garage."
'Five bucks," I said.
"Two," he offered. I was soundin' all of a sudden like Myles. Only I was sellin' my prick and not Gloria's cunt.
"Make it three, dad, and you got a cock to suck.' He agreed and we made it in the front seat of his car. He sure was a lousy cocksucker.
"I rented a room at the Y.
"During the next two weeks, I laid off the hustling a little. Whenever I needed some cash, I'd give a ring to that guy who picked me up on the highway. He was good for twenty. And if I got real nasty, he'd be good for even more. He sure did like to get bossed around.
"I was picking up cunt here and there, too. Not getting paid for it or anything. I'm not mercenary. All I want is a couple of meals a day, a roof over my head and a clean sheet under my ass. No more and no less.
"There was one of those giant government office buildings right across from this cafeteria where I ate lunch almost every day. I used to sit in there and stare at any good looking girl that came along. I could usually score with one of those hot cunts. I sure was having fun.
"Generally, things were really going along fine when one night I was in this little bar down the street from the Y. It was a halfway hustler joint. Sort of indiscriminate. I mean, you could pick up about anything you wanted, no matter how weird, if you just waited long enough.
"I had just gotten a beer when this hootsie-tootsie walked in. All feathers and tits. Nice look-in' cunt, but she looked like she was scared by a makeup man. She looks at me and I look at her.
I never fucked a pro before, so I decided to talk to her.
"We didn't hit it off at all. She was looking for a rich John, or at least somebody who could buy her better than beer. She turned me off real fast. So I patted her on the ass and went back to my lonely station at the bar.
"There was really nothing good happening that night, and I was just about ready to drain my glass and get the hell out. Then that same babe-the one with the eyelashes you could have served breakfast on-walks over to me.
"Hey, sugar," she said. "Any chance you'd go for a little action? There's ten bucks in it for you."
"I answered I sure was but what was the deal.
"Guzzie-that was her name-nodded over to the side of the room to the table where she'd been peddling her wares. "He wants a three-way," she said.
"I took a look over in the corner, expecting to find some real mousy guy-you know, the kind who likes to watch you fuck his wife. But this guy was a bruiser. He looked like he just climbed out of a tree. Mean.
"He doesn't look like he needs any help," I said.
"I don't know what his bag is. He just gave me an extra five-spot to ask you. He wants you along."
"I have to admit that I was tempted. Hell, I'm tempted by anything that's a little different and means using my cock. And besides, I'd be doing Guzzie a favor.
"C'mon, kid," she said. "The deal's on only if you go along. Otherwise, I eat beans tomorrow."
"So to help out a friend, and because I was tempted, I agreed. Guzzie gave me her address, which was about two blocks away. "Come on up in a half hour," she added.
"I ordered another beer and watched the two of them leave. That guy must have weighed two hundred and fifty pounds. And not much of it was fat. What in the hell had I gotten into?
"I nursed my beer and then went in and took a piss. My old cock was ready and willing. Then I headed for Guzzie's apartment.
"She lived in this beat-up apartment house that looked like a used-to-be-swell whorehouse. The halls were dark; the stairs squeaked and the place smelled funny. Guzzie lived in 208.
"The door was opened just a little so I walked right in without knocking. There was a small light on the far side of the room. Right by the bed.
"Guzzie was already earning her money. She was on her knees alongside the bed, suckin' the trick's joint for all she was worth. He was just sitting there, his legs spread, a slight grin on his face. I took a fast look at his cock. It was as big as the rest of him. Even old Guzzie, the pro, was having a hell of a time sucking that one off.
"The guy wasn't very friendly, but he knew what he wanted. "Eat her cunt out," he said as soon as he saw me.
"Just to lighten the scene a little, I tried a smart-assed line. "Should I take my clothes off, or is this an eat-and-run scene?'
"The guy had the sense of humor of a flat tire. Even the grin faded. "Strip," he said, 'and eat' It was probably the longest speech he'd ever made in his life.
"I almost cut out then. This just wasn't my scene. Hell, I like to fuck. Better than most people. But it's gotta be fun. No matter what the scene. This guy was taking the scene too serious. Shit on that noise.
"Hey, shitkicker," I said. "This bit is turning me off. I like some joy when I fuck."
"He looked at me for a couple of seconds. Mean. "Strip and eat out her cunt," he repeated. Christ, he had a one-track mind. And I had the feeling that he wasn't going to take no for an answer. And he outweighed me by a good seventy-five pounds. That didn't add up to good odds. So I stripped.
"Guzzie seemed to like what she saw, because as soon as I was bare, she stuck her ass out. She was ready and willing for me to start licking and suckin' on that cunt.
"I got on my knees and started to eat. Eatin' pussy ain't one of my favorite ways to go, but it'll do when there's money involved. Hell, anything-when money is involved.
"I could tell right off that Guzzie took care of herself. Her pussy smelled nice and fresh. And she really took to the feel of my tongue lapping on her cunt. I didn't know how this scene was going to end up, but it wasn't bad so far. I should have left right then."
In this case, the subject's apparent bisexuality is a relatively secondary factor in analyzing his personality. More important is the fact that his stated primary motive is the avoidance of "hard work," and as a result of this motive he turns to prostitution as a means of earning a living.
The prostitution in which this subject engages is somewhat atypical in that he is willing to engage in both homosexual and heterosexual acts for money. The strictly homosexual prostitute and the strictly heterosexual prostitute are both more common. Alfred C. Kinsey and associates in Sea;-ual Behavior in the Human Male describe the homosexual prostitute to which this subject comes closest in description:
There is, however, a homosexual prostitution among males who provide sexual relations for other males; and such homosexual prostitutes are, in many large cities, not far inferior in number to the females who are engaged in heterosexual prostitution. Male homosexual prostitutes less often derive their main income from such activities, and less often engage in prostitution for any long period of years.
From this, we can at least assume that the subject is part of a substantial group of men who do earn money through their sexual activities. However, for the majority of men thus engaged, it would seem that the pleasure of the act itself is in large part the motivation for such activity. Since for the male, erection and ejaculation, in themselves pleasurable, would be a necessary part of the act, we can assume that this pleasure is significant.
For the subject, although he states that he enjoys sex of every kind, it seems that this enjoyment is much less a motivation than his earnest desire to avoid work. The subject recounts several of his experiences, which show a great deal of variety in the kinds of situations he is willing to become involved with, and in none of these situations does he specifically state that-his enjoyment of the physical encounter was significant.
In each case, the subject is far more concerned with the effect of the encounter upon his fluctuating fortunes. In his first encounter, he is robbed and his clothing is taken. To him this is far more important than the fact of his heterosexual experience with the pregnant woman.
Following this experience, he is picked up by a homosexual and participates in sex with him in order to get the clothing he needs. It appears that his need for clothing takes precedence over his need for sex and/or enjoyment of it.
He additionally exploits his liaison with the homosexual by obtaining money through threats of violence. In another episode he becomes involved with a female prostitute and a man who is apparently her client and engages in active violence, thereby increasing his earnings. In still another episode, we see him performing for money, and later on for transportation.
Thus the economic motive is a thread running through all his experiences. Dr. Eustace Chesser in Strange Loves discusses the fact that this kind of economic motive is far from exclusively the motive of the prostitute:
It is true that some prostitutes are neurotic and psychopathic. But dishonesty is common enough in other walks of life where people actually boast about their success in cheating the income tax, fiddling an expense account, pulling off some smart business deal only just within the letter of the law. Where sex is involved we tend to employ a different standard.
Of course, the fact that the subject is economically motivated cannot be used to set him apart from the vast majority of his fellow-men. There are other factors which do set him apart, however, from many of his fellows who are involved in similar life-styles. One of those factors is his predilection for violence and his essential hostility toward the people he encounters.
Even in his language we find a contempt for his fellow human beings, as for instance in his use of the term "shitkicker" to identify what he considers to be his close friends.
In none of the situations which he describes do we find any element of affection for or interest in the people whom he manipulates. His primary interest in each encounter is in how he can turn the situation to his own advantage.
In addition, although he states he would never actually commit an act of violence, he has no qualms about threatening such an act in order to frighten his homosexual victim. Later when he does become savagely violent in his encounter with the man who insults him, he explains his attack on the basis of the fact that he was unable to control his behavior due to his intense anger.
It is apparent that in the life he has chosen there will be many situations which might provoke similar anger, and the subject does not seem to realize that his lack of control itself is an indication of a latent tendency toward violence which may erupt at any time.
He provides other disclaimers regarding his own violence in that he denies that he would ever hurt a lady, but he shows sufficient ability to rationalize his own behavior that it is possible that he might justify an attack on a woman at some future point by denying that she is, in fact, a "lady."
In short, the subject displays so much hostility toward and contempt for people in general, that it seems inevitable that the situations he encounters will deteriorate. He shows little ability to control his behavior, few internal standards by which he might guide his choices. His refusal to become involved in useful work and his manipulative attitude towards others both indicate his lack of a positive self-image and a set of values which might guide his life.
His tendency toward violent behavior, his hostility toward people, and his lack of a moral framework on which to make his choices all are more important factors in understanding him than is the bisexuality which he seems to be using only as a means toward his unsavory ends.
'"I guess you can tell from the way I talk that I'm really into sex. I mean, I enjoy it. Any kind. And when I'm busy in just about any kind of sex, I really get wrapped up in it. Really wrapped.
"So when Guzzie starts pulling away from my mouth and climbing up on the bed, I don't pay attention to nothing except I ain't got no more pussy to suck. So I follow that pussy to the bed. I don't even pay no mind that the big ape isn't where he used to be. I clean forgot about him.
"Guzzie gets on her back on the bed and she tells me she don't want her pussy licked anymore, she wants it fucked. Which was fine with me. My prick was rarin' to go.
"I got between those nice, fat thighs of hers and stuck my prick deep inside her. "Oh, baby. Oh, baby," she yelled, and I felt proud as a great-grandfather.
"I figured she was a talker so I talked. "Tell me what you want, honey," I said.
"Fuck me. Just fuck me. Hard and long. Fuck that goddamned pussy.' My, she sure did have a mouth on her.
"You like the feel of that big prick plowin' in your pussy?" I asked her. She moaned that she liked it. And I believed her.
"I want to sit on it," she said then.
"Sit on what?" I asked. I knew, but I wanted her to say those magic words. "Tell me what you want to sit on.' And all the time, mind you, I'm not missing a fuckin' stroke. How's that for talent?
"I want to sit on your prick."
"That, along with almost anything else she'd want to do, was all right with me. We bent and scooted around until I was on my back on the bed and she was on top of me. I was sorta proud that we did all the movin' without me takin' my prickout of her cunt once.
"Then Guzzie moved some more. Instead of just sitting there, facin' me, and fuckin' herself on my cock like that, she swung around until her back was to me. Then she seemed to move as far up on my belly as she could without pullin' off my dong. She even reached down and pulled both my arms down to my sides, where she wedged them with her legs.
"Then she did a real weird scene, and all of a sudden I was starting to get the picture. She reached down and took hold of my legs and pulled them up toward her. Do you know what that son of a gun was doin'? She was opening up my ass so that big ape could fuck it.
"Now I ain't no prude, not by a long shot. But when it comes to ass fuckin', I'd rather do it than take it. And if I gotta take it, first I want to be asked, not forced, and second I want to get paid a lot more than a measly ten bucks.
"But this time there wasn't a hell of a lot I could do about it. That big goon was huge, but he was fast, too. As soon as Guzzie got me into the position he wanted, he was on that bed, his big cock harder than a goddamned poker, and hotter than one too.
"He must have had that pecker of his greased up, because as soon as he stuck that son-of-a-gun up against my asshole and pushed, it slid in. Just a little bit, but shit, did that hurt. Wowee!
"For my part, I was buckin' like a son of a bitch. But it wasn't doin' me much good. The ape weighed at least two-fifty, and Guzzie wasn't any flyweight herself. I realized that I had a cock up my ass and it was goin' to stay up there until the goon shot off. So I might as well resign myself to it, relax, and at least not get ripped apart.
"All that shit I just talked about is easier said than done. I mean, it's easy to tell yourself to relax, and another when some slob is pushing cock up your ass a mile a second. Hard. Jesus, that hurt.
"But nothin' stopped him. He just fucked and fucked. And when Guzzie saw I wasn't gonna fight too much, she thought she'd get a few kicks off my cock. But my poor prick just wilted away. All the strength poured out of it, and Guzzie was left with a big marslimallow to try and fuck herself with.
"The ape's fuck seemed to take hours, but I guess it was only a few minutes. Long enough though. My poor fuckin' asshole felt like it was ripped wide open. Burned like hell.
"As soon as he shot, he pulled out and flopped down on the bed. He was even grinning a little.
"Guzzie was still doin' her damnedest to get a fuck out of me, but there was no way. I wanted to get out of there. And I was gettin' a little sore about the way Guzzie and the goon were gettin' so buddy-buddy. The idea came to me that this was their scene. Guzzie had gotten me up here with the idea that her 'friend' was gonna fuck my ass.
"That made me sore, but what really pissed me off was when the creep handed me a ten-dollar bill. If he had just given me the money and not said anything, it would have been all right. I would have left, gone home and taken care of my asshole and forgot about the whole thing. But the guy couldn't let well enough alone. While he's handin' me the ten-spot, he looks at me and grins. "Thanks, Mary," he says, and Christ, let me tell you I saw red. Now, I don't rightly care if a guy knocks the hell out of me-if he's got good cause -but I don't take to name-callin'. Never. And that asshole didn't have no right to call me any name at all. I mean, if there were any Marys around, he deserved the moniker, not me. But I guess there are damned few guys around brave enough to call a two-hundred-fifty pounder 'Mary."
"Anyway, I was pissed, and when I'm pissed, I'm rough. I'll admit that to anybody. Mainly because I lose all fear. I don't even care what happens to me. I just attack. And that's what I did to the creep.
"First, he got a knee in the balls which put him out of commission real fast. He groaned, gagged, bent over and grabbed his nuts. I really got him good. Then I took hold of the top of his head, holding it steady and brought my knee up again as hard as I could. Right into his fuckin' face.
"That should have been enough, but I never know when to stop when I'm havin' a good time. I grabbed him by the hair and pulled his head up from the floor. I backhanded him about ten times, as hard as I could, until there was blood just pourin' out of his nose and mouth. Then I let his head drop and I gave him three good heels-of-my-foot right in the balls. I don't think he'll be usin' his prick for a while.
"I finished dressin', not even payin' any attention to Guzzie. She was sittin' on the bed, damned near in shock. But I'd never hurt a lady. Even a lady who's a whore. I was brought up too good for that.
"When I was dressed and ready to leave, I pulled the creep's wallet out of his pocket. The damned fool had almost three hundred dollars in there. I pocketed the whole amount. Didn't leave him a dime.
"Hey," Guzzie yelled when she saw I was taking the whole thing. "Some of that is mine."
"Good," I said to her. "So you fucked free. It'll do you good."
"I walked out of that room, headed for the YMCA, got my things together and got out of Washington, D.C. You gotta realize that I'm not a coward or anything, but I knew damned well the next morning that that ape was gonna be a hell of a lot madder than I'd be. And if he ever ran into me, he'd kill me. I'd been lucky once, no use bein' stupid.
"I got to the bus station and looked at the departure schedule. I had all sorts of places I could go, but I didn't have any real preference. Since I'd been no place at all before, everything would be new and exciting wherever I went.
"Then all of a sudden I noticed this little girl, with the classiest ass I'd seen in a long time, pass right by me. And she did come on. She was black as the ace of spades, and she sure did have a classy ass. She wiggled that ass so well when she walked by, that I just followed her to the nearest gate. I got on the bus and headed to the back. I'd pay once we started. In fact, it wasn't till I'd fucked that little girl a couple of times on the back seat that I found out I was headin' for Miami. Miami, Florida.
"Fuckin' a black chick on the back seat of a bus in the South. Now ain't that a treat?
"You're not gonna believe this, but Venus was that little girl's name. She followed me to the back seat and sat down next to me. It was already dark outside, so we didn't have to worry about anybody seeing. Besides, the bus was almost -empty anyway. I had my hand on her cunt almost before I knew her name. Boy, she sure did like to mess around.
"I was flamin' hot from the uncompleted bout with Guzzie, so when Venus moved her face down and started to nuzzle around my cock-through my pants-I suggested she do the real thing. After all, if you're gonna fuck on a bus, cock-suckin' probably is the safest way.
"Venus wasn't shy at all. Not at all. She pulled my zipper down and got my pecker out. She ohhhed and ahhed a little about the size, which I appreciated, but I knew damned well she was putting on an act. My prick was probably a pencil next to the black cock she'd gotten in the past. But why the hell worry about the size of your prick at a time like that?
"She bent over and put her nice, thick lips all over my knob. Jesus, was she good! I moved around a little before she got too busy so I could stick my hand up her cunt. I figured she deserved a little finger-fuckin' for all the work she was gonna be doin'.
"Then I just settled back and let her work.
"I guess there ain't much use in goin' into details about a suck job. I mean, they're nice as hell, but a suck is a suck. Right?
"Venus was right good at it, and she liked doin' it. I think she sucked me four times all told on that trip south. I really only fucked her once. She told me she was gettin' off soon-her ticket was to a small town in northern Florida, not Miami-and she said she sure would like to feel my cock up her pussy. She didn't say so in so many words, but that was the meanin' of what she was talking about.
"I obliged. Shit, that's my problem. I'm always obligin' people. Especially when it comes to fucking. I just can't help myself. I like it too much.
"It was early in the mornin', and kinda light out when she made her suggestion. I guess if I'd had any sense I wouldn't have done it, but I was sort of anxious. And so was she.
"I figured the best way would be for her to sit on my lap. You know, facing me, with her cunt plopped right down on my cock. That way we could fuck without looking for sure like we were fuckin'.
"That was my intention, but when I got into it, and Venus had settled that gorgeous little black pussy down on my cock, I totally forgot about takin' precautions. In fact, they were the farthest thing from my mind.
"As soon as I had my prick buried in that neat tight pussy, I just wanted to fuck and fuck and then fuck some more. Christ, what a feeling. Pussy or ass or mouth. Don't make a bit of difference to me.
"Venus' pussy was dripping with excitement. Christ, she was so hot I could smell sex. And that really turned me on. Nothin' makes me happier than fuckin' somebody who really likes to get fucked.
"After just a few seconds of her sittin' on my lap, I wanted to do more things. Like get her on her hands and knees on that back seat and really pound it to her. Dog-style.
"Like I said, Venus was all excited by that time, and she didn't put up no fuss about my getting her off my lap and on the seat. I threw her dress up over her ass and took hold. And then, man, I started to fuck.
"It was just light enough for me to see that white cock of mine goin' in that black pussy. Man, I could have watched that sight all day. Now that's really beauty.
"I long-dicked that gal, watchin' my cock go in and out, for what seemed like an hour. And since it kept getting lighter, I kept being able to see better and better.
"The only problem was I wasn't the only person on the bus who could see better. The driver took one look in his rear view mirror and then I guess about shit in his drawers. He pulled the bus over to the side of the road and headed back towards us.
"But I'm just surmisin' what happened. I didn't even know the bus had stopped at the time. I was too busy fuckin' and enjoyin' myself.
"All of a sudden, though, while I'm watchin' my cock slide once more into that beautiful cunt, I heard this voice. "Get off the bus," the voice said in this real low, unemotional tone. I glanced the driver's way, only vaguely aware that somebody was makin' some noise. I didn't know he was talkin' to me.
"It was Venus that brought me down from the clouds. She let out a little yelp and pulled her golden pussy off me. Then suddenly it dawned on me that I was in trouble. Again.
"Five minutes later, with my cock all tucked back in my pants, I was standing along side the road. By myself. The fuckin' bus driver put me off the bus but not Venus. I guess he was gonna take her to the bus station and see if he could get a little action out of her himself.
"Well, you can't win 'em all. I stuck out my thumb. Headin' south.
"My first ride was my last ride. He was goin' even farther than I was goin'. His name was Charlie and he was a happy-go-lucky old fella, about fifty-five years old. He was the type I really liked. He enjoyed everything.
"Why in the hell you going to Miami," he asked. "You won't like Miami. It's all old people and cops."
"I told him I didn't know why I was headin' there. It just seemed like a good place to see.
"You ought to come to Key West," he said. "Now that's a great place."
"What's in Key West?" I asked, leading him on.
"My house, for one thing," Charlie answered. "Where you can stay for a while if you want to. Enjoy the beach. Get a tan."
"What did I have to lose? And what if he did ride the whole rest of the way with his right hand on my cock? It was a small price to pay for a place to stay. And a beach.
"Charlie's house was really somethin'. It was a big, sort of run-down place that didn't have much distinctive about it except that it was usually full of naked sailors. Sometimes ten at a time. They were all over the fuckin' place.
"Charlie didn't do anything sex-wise with them. He just enjoyed looking at them. For sex, he'd beat off or pay somebody to blow him. I know that from hear in' about it; I didn't suck his cock. He didn't ask me to.
"But he did come up with a strange sort of thing a couple of days after I was there. I knew that my welcome was running thin. But it wasn't that Charlie didn't like me. He just liked to have different guys around. If I had left for a week and come back, I would have been more than welcome. But he didn't want me stayin' too long.
"I had lined up a spot on this big boat that was headin' for the Virgin Islands. Actually, I got the spot from the owner's wife. She was a real fuckable number I talked to at the beach. She got me a job as an unpaid member of the crew. And I thought I'd be able to get a lot of pussy on the trip.
"There were two slight problems. First, i didn't know one fuckin' thing about boats, and second, I didn't have any money when I got where I was goin.' I brought the problems up to Charlie.
"Charlie wasn't no millionaire, not by a long shot. But he was comfortable. And he was always willing to help guys who hung around his house. If they did what he wanted.
"And Charlie came up with one hell of a way for me to earn a hundred and fifty bucks. He told me he had seen most everything, but there was one thing he'd missed. And if I'd be willing to do what he wanted, the hundred and fifty bucks was mine. Clear. No pay back.
"He told me what he wanted to see and after thinking about it for a second or two, I agreed. Hell, it wasn't that bad.
"He had me strip down and then we walked into the living room, where most of the sailors were hanging around. It was early evening by that time. Too late for the beach.
"I went to the middle of the living room and knelt down. I admit to gettin' a few weird looks from the guys. Then Charlie speaks up. "Anybody who wants their cock sucked, we got a volunteer." Then he points at me.
"Now I don't know about the Navy, but it sure must be some place to spend a few years. Because I swear to God that some of the characters who lined up to get their cocks sucked were screwin' around with girls just a little while before. They sure are a horny bunch of fuckers.
"I sucked fifteen cocks that afternoon. Big ones, little ones, thick ones and thin ones. Christ, I had so much protein in my belly from swallowin' that come, I could have opened a health food store.
"And Charlie was in seventh heaven. He really dug standin' there and watchin' me take on all those guys. It took about forty-five minutes for me to service them. And at a hundred and fifty bucks, that ain't a bad hourly wage.
"When I was finally finished, my knees were sore and my jaw ached, but I had the money. And Charlie's best wishes.
"I threw all my stuff together and headed down to the piers. There she was, all hundred and ten pounds of her. Not the boat. Mrs. Slaughter. She was one neat looking woman. She was just stand-in' on the deck, wearin' nothin' but this little itsy-bitsy you-know-what. What a set she had. And an ass that had 'fuck' written all over it.
"I walked up behind her and put my arms around her belly. I stuck my cock up against her. She turned a little and smiled. "Who is it?" she asked. Man, I thought, when I get finished with her, she won't have to ask who it is."
The subject at this point is about to embark on a journey which will take him out of the country. He has no connections which might provide him with an emotional base, and it appears that his future will probably consist of similar escapes whenever circumstances compel him to seek a new background. Although he may be able to support himself for a time through prostitution, it appears that his attitude will inevitably lead him into a situation in which his own violence may not protect him from harm.
CHAPTER FOUR
A Friend in Need
"They say a friend in need is a friend indeed. I had no notion of just what that meant until my friend Gloria broke through my defenses and gave me my first sex experience. I was only sixteen, and the thought of lesbian lovemaking would have struck me as a totally unnatural act until she showed me the ropes. After that, I could really make no judgments about right and wrong. If it felt good, it just didn't matter.
"I was staying over at her place one weekend while my folks were off on a short vacation. We'd been friends since junior high, and we'd be seniors in the fall. Not to brag, but Gloria and I were both considered to be very pretty, so neither one of us lacked for dates. As a matter-of-fact, we'd just come back from a drive-in with" a couple of guys from school that night she taught me the ropes about girl-to-girl sex.
"I wasn't exactly what you'd call very experienced when it came to sex back then. The only boy I'd ever gone all the way with and I had broken up recently. I'm sorry to say, my first experiences with him left me hanging. Tommy was just too clumsy when it came to balling. So up until that night with Gloria, the only way I'd gotten my rocks off was by masturbation.
"After we'd changed into our pajamas, Gloria and I tucked ourselves in her bed and discussed our evening's dates. My date and I had been doing some pretty heavy making out in the back seat of the car, and I'd gotten pretty turned on. My confession led Gloria to admit that her boyfriend had gotten her pretty worked up too. Just thinking about it made me get all horny again, and I asked Gloria to change the subject. Things got real quiet for a minute, and then she turned over towards me and asked:
"Jan, have you ever made it with another girl?'
"Her question really threw me for a loop. I didn't know if she was joking or what. But she just kept staring over at me, waiting for an answer, so I mustered up a negative reply. Then she starts throwing all these lines at me, about how it's supposed to be better with a girl and everything. I was just stunned. All these years we'd been friends, and I never had any idea she was into anything like that. I wasn't sure if she was playing a game with me or what, but the whole thing was making my head swim.
"I thought it might be just a quick number she was running on me, so I listened bemusedly, nodding my head at the right moment as she rambled on. But she was very persistent. I slowly began to realize that she wasn't just throwing empty rhetoric around. She was interested in suiting action to words, and I was the object of her intentions!
"It didn't really bother me from an objective level. I'd always been very open in my feelings about things people did with their own bodies. However, when I was on the hot spot, the one who would be testing these theories, it was a different matter. The whole thing came on so fast that it scared the shit out of me.
"But I trusted Gloria, and a lot of things she had to say about the subject seemed to make a lot of sense. She wasn't pulling one of those radical women's lib numbers on me. To the contrary, she had nothing against sex with boys. She was merely trying to indoctrinate me into a new form of enjoyment, one that she claimed to be better than heterosexual sex. She'd been on both sides of the subject, I soon learned, and told me flat out that girl-girl sex was the best trip she'd ever been on. Still, I had some reservations.
"Not being one to force her ideas on a friend, she told me that she had long held back on any attempts at persuading me into having a fling with her. But, she went on to say, the subject had just come up, and there was no need for her to hold back on it now. She knew me to be open about most things, and she just wanted me to experience something that felt good. She knew from previous discussions with me that I'd had a bad time of it with Tommy, and she said she just wanted to turn me on to a good sexual experience.
"I was really torn with indecision. Gloria had been a close friend for a long time and I trusted her. But at the same time, the whole idea horrified me. Not so much on moral grounds, but more on a personal feeling basis. Looking back on it, I'm sure the sudden realization of it was what got me. That and the fact that she was bringing it so close to home. The first time in any venture can be like that; if you think about it for too long, it can give you cold feet.
"Luckily for me, my friendship with Gloria allowed me to trust her. Therefore, I didn't shy away from her logic. I'd always claimed that I wouldn't knock something unless I tried it. Now, my words were really being forced to the acid test.
"Gloria gave me some time to let the words sink in before she got really up front with the situation at hand. Then she got more specific, confirming what I already expected: she wanted to get it on with me.
"My mind was flip-flopping on what to do, but Gloria soon took the matter of consideration away from me by placing a hand over on my leg, rubbing gently up and down towards my pussy. I had a sudden impulse to push her away, but the action of her hand was making goose pimples sprout up on my naked leg. Clearly, my body was winning out. I felt great.
"My feeble protests really got washed under as she continued her probing. She scooted herself over close to me and kept pressing the attack, telling me in a soothing voice to stop her if I felt I couldn't handle it. There was never any reason for me to mouth this request. The fact was, I was really getting all horny from her expertly applied manipulations. If somebody would've told me a few days before that I'd be getting it on with another girl, much less Gloria, I would've told him he was crazy. Only now that I was feeling just how good it could be, none of the usual stigmas even came to mind.
"I found myself unashamedly responding to her advances, rolling over on my side to grind my pussy up against her leg, welcoming her surprise assault. As I got more into the mood, I let my cares flow away, eager to learn more about this new sexual kick. Gloria parted her lips, running her tongue excitingly over her lips, before mashing them down against my own. I responded automatically, just as if she would've been one of my boyfriends, opening my mouth wide so that our tongues met, darting around inside each other's mouths in a mock fight.
"Any resistance I might have felt was rapidly disappearing under Gloria's deft fingers. I mentally made a quick comparison of our bodies as they pressed against each other. I'd always envied her for her slender build. We were practically opposites. She was tall and slender with small, firm breasts that were so much in vogue. I am barely five feet tall and have blonde hair. I always feel like I'm too fat, although my boyfriends have always said that's ridiculous, telling me I'm just right. Gloria even says she's jealous of my figure, but I always feel like she's putting me on, trying to make me feel good. If she wants to trade bodies, I'll be willing to. Any day.
"I was really surprised at how fast Gloria was able to turn me on. With Tommy, I'd had to fantasize a whole lot, tripping out on some fantasy figure straight off a white horse. But with Gloria, it was different. For the first time, I was digging a sexual trip mainly on a physical basis. It was strictly a stimulus-response thing. And was I ever responding.
"In no time at all, her hands had stripped off my pink pajama top. Her eyes got all glassy when she looked at my titties. My boobs are one thing I'm not ashamed to show. Gloria's always been envious of me in that department. For the time being, however, she seemed content with just getting close to them, working at them with her hands while she resumed kissing me.
"My pussy was getting all wet, my breath coming in shorter gasps. I was taking a more active part in our little scene now, picking up on what Gloria was doing, then mimicking her action. I pushed my body closer to hers, noticing that I was all heated up, sweat glistening all over my pink skin. I looped an arm over her side and crushed my crotch up tight against her leg, working my hips in a quick pumping motion to rub my clit against her thigh. BINGO! that was just the thing I needed to spark things up to full-tilt. My nipples were all hardened up from her hand-job, and the friction my clit made against her thigh was really sending me for a ride.
"I crushed my mouth tighter to hers as we bumped and rubbed against each other. She had a way of leading me on-sort of a teasing thing. She'd go at it fast and furious for a couple of minutes, her hands working double-time all up and down my body, while her tongue sought out every nook and cranny of my mouth. Then she'd ease off, leaving me stranded. It sort of let my body catch up with itself, though. It gave my pores time for ventilation, if you follow the meaning. And then when she'd start up again, it was like taking off from a whole new plateau. That way, degree by degree, she kept taking me higher and higher until I was about to explode. It was fucking wild.
"Gloria was about as worked up as me from all this. Her tits were really pointing out. It seemed like they were about half nipples. She had those cone-shaped kind with really big nipples, so at least it seemed that way. I got a better look at them as she pulled back from me, an expectant smile drawn across her face, and shed off her sheer black top. Next, she peeled off her panties, revealing her slim hips and her close-cropped black bush.
"I realized it might be my only chance to save my own garments from sure destruction, so I quickly followed suit, tearing them off and tossing them to the floor behind Gloria's. Now we were ready to get down to serious business.
"We moved against each other, our sweat-slickened bodies ready for action. This time, Gloria's lips rested down on the surface of my neck. She scooted her body down the bed a little so that she could begin kissing a trail down to my titties, making my entire body break out in goosepimples. Finally, she came to one of my tits and sucked a nipple into her mouth, causing me to loop my arm around her neck and pull her head as close as possible.
"Shit, did that feel good! I'd never had my titties sucked off, even by a boy. Gloria really knew what she was doing. She'd run her tongue around the nipple, then push at it and pop it in and out, then put her lips around it and suck, and . . . whew, she was driving me fucking bananas!
"But Gloria didn't waste too much time washing my titties off. Just enough to get me all horny again, then she started moving her mouth down towards my pussy, once again adjusting herself so that her head and my pussy would meet somewhere down there. I was all ready for this next step. I'd been rubbing myself off on her leg for what seemed like the better part of the last half-hour or so.
"When her mouth got down to my crotch, she had me flip over on my back so as to get a better shot at it. I helped her by spreading my legs. Then she pushed up on her knees and dove down and forced her face in between my thighs. Separating my pussy lips with her fingers, she then began to run her tongue down into the groove, causing me to damn near wriggle right off the bed as a result. I never had any idea that anything could feel so fucking good. My vision got all blurry then, my head rolling back and forth on the pillow. I began to moan out loud, trying as best I could to form some of my vocalizations into' words of encouragement.
"She didn't need much prompting. She just put her nose to the grindstone and lapped at my pussy like it'd be out of style next week. About all I could do was lay back and take it, reaching up with my arms to clutch at her shoulders, my hips pumping erratically as I tried to fuck her face.
"When she caught hold of my clit with those lips of hers, I thought I'd go right through the roof. She'd really been right about that line she'd been delivering me. But right then, I wasn't thinking too much about that sort of thing. I was too busy feeling it. She seemed to be sucking at my clit with her lips and lapping at it with the tip of her tongue. Every so often, she'd blow a hot breath of air on my button, and that would really do the trick.
"My insides were churning like a blast furnace, and I must've been a pretty ridiculous sight. But right then, I could've cared less if I was being filmed for the whole country to watch. I was way beyond the point of giving a shit. I'd get these hot flashes shooting up inside me and think I couldn't stand it anymore, but good old Gloria was still in control all the way. She'd sense it when I'd get right to the edge, then break away from my clit for a moment, curl up her tongue, then drive it up my hole like a cock. I just kept going from one level to the next.
"My orgasm didn't hit me all at once, but started out at a nice soft level, and gradually built up to bigger and bigger ones that set my whole insides to quaking. Gloria knew how to coax every single bit of energy from me, building me up to one big bang, then easing off for a bit, maybe running her hand softly over my belly while she got her breath, and then pushing her face down there to do another job on me. Each time I came, it would be more and more intense, until, I'm afraid, I must've been blabbering incoherently.
"I finally must've just passed out altogether, for the last thing I remember was going all jelly-soft, while the room swam crazily around me. Next thing I knew, I was lying there cuddled up in her arms. She was gently kissing my forehead, a wide smile on her lips.
"How do you like it so far?" she asked.
"I couldn't summon any words at first, but my look must've spoken for me. I felt as helpless as a newborn baby. Really good, as if a great burden had been lifted from me.
"Gloria told me to stay put, and then padded out of the room. I caught myself looking lustfully at her slim ass as she disappeared, realizing that I'd never looked at her with sexual interests up until then. My mind was going in all sorts of directions while she was gone, but I didn't feel the slightest bit of remorse. I did feel a little embarrassed though, realizing how naive I'd been about a lot of things. But still, I was one of the club now, and I was glad Gloria had seen fit to initiate me.
"But I didn't have much time for thoughts, for just then Gloria walked back into the room with a big cucumber in her hand. It wasn't really that big for a cucumber, but just the right size for what she had in mind. I didn't ask her what it was for, as I'd made use of one once when I was getting myself off one night.
"Damn, this thing is cold," she told me rubbing it back and forth in her hands to try and bring it to room temperature.
"Just leave everything to me," I told her, reaching up to take the cucumber from her. I placed it under the blanket and then turned to her.
"While that's warming up, let me repay you for the favor," I said. I was really out of my shell then, surprising myself at how forward I was. But then, I suppose you don't have as many secrets from someone who's just scarfed your pussy.
"Gloria was more than agreeable with my proposal. I had her take my position on the bed, and knelt over her. I was so eager to learn about eating out a pussy, that I completely skipped the top half of her body, bending down over her pussy and almost drooling all over it. When I realized that I'd skipped her boobs, she just pushed me down to her pussy, telling me that she was close to coming off anyway, what with the job she'd just done on me. So we decided to skip my topside lessons for then. There'd be plenty of time for that later.
"Gloria helped me through the initial stages, telling me what to do. She spread her lips apart with her fingers and I pushed my face down between those inviting folds and started lapping. I'd always wondered what it tasted like down there, and it didn't take too long to find out. It seemed like the more I tasted of that acrid pussy, the more I wanted. It had the kind of flavor that made me keep swallowing and wanting more. It seemed, as I went on, that my thirst would never be satisfied.
"I learned fast, Gloria's commands no longer needed. It's a good thing they weren't from the way her words were getting swallowed up into moans of pleasure. Her sounds only drove me on to greater deeds. They gave me a feeling of accomplishment, of a job being well-done, so I quickly began to gain confidence, trying out new things.
"I alternated between her vagina and clitoris, learning how to curl up my tongue so that the edges meet each other and form a sort of tube so as to make her snatch more accessible, and the way to pucker my lips just right around her clit so I could suck it real good.
"She was getting nice and wet down there from my mouthwork, and wriggling all over the bed as I pressed my attack to her. I ran my hands up along her slides to help pin her down, continuing the applications of my newfound talent. My breath began to come in short gasps. At first, I lifted up and blew my nostrils out over her humid bush, but I quickly realized that the air had a tantalizing effect upon her, so I just breathed wherever I was at the moment. Once, I blew a quick blast up her hole and it really made her squirm.
"By this time, Gloria was coming hard, squealing like a pig and rolling around like crazy. From then on, I just grabbed onto her clit and held on, rolling it around between my lips and lapping at it with the tip of my tongue, until she reached a state of complete bliss.
"The whole thing had been getting me all hot to go again, and I hoped that she'd come around in time for me. But for a few minutes there, all she could do was roll around and blink at the ceiling, murmuring unintelligible gibberish, I quickly decided that I'd have to do the job by hand, but remembering the cucumber, I threw myself out along the bed beside Gloria and tried as best I could to wait for her.
"I aided in her revival, snuggling up close to her and kissing softly at her face, the same way she'd done to me, and it wasn't long before she responded. We just rubbed against each other for a couple of seconds, placing tiny kisses on each other's faces and necks, our arms tracing light patterns over the other's body. Then Gloria remembered the cucumber. She groped around under the blanket for a moment and then pulled it out, a wicked gleam in her eye.
"It's just the right temperature!' she said.
"Womb temperature?" I never was much at jokes, but Gloria politely ignored my mistake. She had better things to do. She dipped the tip of the cucumber down between her legs to get some lubrication, and then had me move over onto my back. She stretched back out alongside me, and slowly inserted the cuke between my thighs.
"I felt a slight sensation of burning as the cucumber entered my pussy, but it soon expanded to accommodate it. Once she had it halfway up my pussy, gripping it firmly as she moved it slowly in and out, she rested her head between my tits and began kissing at them.
"I began to involuntarily hump at the cuke, fucking it as if it were a cock. It stuffed me, and Gloria was moving it as if it were the real thing. The only drawback was that it didn't throb.
"My mind started taking off again as Gloria fucked me with the cucumber. Her hand was pumping harder now, moving the green weenie in and out of my snatch at a much faster rate. She seemed to be able to regulate its angle a little more than a guy could his cock, searching out every fold of pussy-flesh during her screwing.
"To help things out, I pushed one hand down through my pubes and started playing with my clit, adding another dimension to the scene. Gloria was kissing me all over my tittles as she drove it to me, and I was grabbing at her hair with my free hand and moaning like all shit My other hand continued to pet away at my pussy while she slammed the cucumber in and out.
"I got real hot all of a sudden, going to the top. much quicker than I had before. I pumped away at her hand as hard as I could, trying to suck that vegetable dildo inside if possible. And then a great surge went through me and I let out a long, loud moan. Oh, was that a great fuck. I finally collapsed back on the bed, shudder after shudder going through me as my body unwound.
"Afterwards, Gloria did the wildest fucking thing. She began eating the cucumber. It just blew my mind. She even offered it up to me, holding it in the middle, and I took a couple of bites from the other end. But we threw it down and started kissing before we could finish it off. We could always eat that kind of thing."
One of the ways in which this subject exemplifies some of the knowledge which we have as a result of contemporary sex research is in the fact that she responded physically to the attentions of her female friend with a great deal more satisfaction that she had found in her previous heterosexual relationship. The fact that her first orgasmic experience is provided by another female bears out one of the most significant findings of Alfred C. Kinsey's research as reported in
Sexual Behavior in the Human Female:
It is not generally understood, either by males or by females who have not had homosexual experience, that the techniques of sexual relations between two females may be as effective as or even more effective than the petting or coital techniques ordinarily utilized in heterosexual contacts.
Kinsey's research showed that there was actually a higher frequency of orgasm in homosexual relations of females than among females who had been married for five years. Regarding this higher frequency, he comments:
The higher frequency of orgasm in the homosexual contacts may have depended in part upon the considerable psychological stimulation provided by such relationships, but there is reason for believing that it may alsq have depended on the fact that two individuals of the same sex are likely to understand the anatomy and the physiologic responses and psychology of their own sex better than they understand that of the opposite sex.
The fact that the subject's friend Gloria actually prefers sexual activity with other females seems to substantiate the evidence that homosexual contact can sometimes be more satisfying than similar heterosexual contact.
In comparing the subject with her friend, we find that there is a disparity in their attitudes toward their own bisexuality. Although the subject responds enthusiastically to her friend's ideas, she still continues to prefer heterosexual contact, using her new knowledge to intensify her own pleasure. In this, she can be considered as a rating of 2 on Kinsey's scale, with the preponderance of her psychosexual responses as heterosexual. Gloria, with her preference for female contact, would more likely be rated as 4, preferring contact with her own sex although she still responds toward individuals of the opposite sex.
Thus we can see that although the subject's ability to enjoy sexual experiences has been considerably enhanced by her bisexual experience, she still maintains an initial preference for heterosexual experience.
The subject's contact with bisexuality does become the occasion for some self-doubt in terms of her identity. She has some worries about the label of lesbianism, and admits freely that before her actual experience she had considerable fear and a tendency to make negative judgments. However, her fears are reduced by the actuality, and her anxiety about the possibility of her own lesbianism seems to have been allayed by the realization that she does, in fact, continue to prefer heterosexuality.
In addition, she seems to have established a good relationship with her friend Gloria outside of their sexual activity, and this relationship and friendship seems significant in terms of her own acceptance of their homosexual activities.
One of the more interesting aspects of this subject's narrative is in terms of the group sexual experiences which she and Gloria eventually arrange. A very important truth about human sexuality is exemplified in the response of these four people to the group sex situation, in which sexual stimulation is enjoyed without regard for the source of the stimulation. Ruth and Edward Brecher, editors of An Analysis of Human Sexual Response explain some of the factors at work in such a group situation:
The sexual responses of the human body, Dr. Masters' and Mrs. Johnson's observations indicate, begin in both men and women with some sexually arousing stimulus, proceed through orgasm, and end with a return of the body to a sexually unstimulated state.
. . . Note that the description we have presented above makes almost no distinction among sexual responses to masturbation, to sexual intercourse, or to other forms of stimulation including breast manipulation and artificial coition. The reason is quite straightforward. The same responses occur in very much the same order, regardless of the type of stimulation that evokes them.
Thus we can see that it is a typically human response that prevails for the subject, regardless of whether the stimulation is from a heterosexual partner, a homosexual partner, or as in her case, a cucumber. Admittedly, the use of such vegetable stimulants is somewhat unusual, but even there the subject is not outside the realm of documented possibility.
There is another aspect of the subject's experiences which is particularly significant in terms of her status as a teen-ager. Adolescence is typically a time when ideas about the world and oneself are tested and acted out in a process of gathering information to provide the basis for later, more mature choices.
The subject states quite frankly that prior to this experience she had many intellectual ideas about human sexuality which she felt that she needed to test out in terms of personal reactions before she could come to any conclusions. Her notions of the desirability of openness were considerably more shaky before she had this opportunity to discover just how open she could be when confronted with the possibilities of her own sexuality.
It is indicative of ah essentially good adjustment that the subject is able to view her own responses fairly objectively and draw conclusions from her feelings rather than relying on cultural norms.
Having assimilated these experiences, she is in a fairly good position to base any choices she might make in the future on the sound ground of self-knowledge rather than on a speculative fantasy. In this, she demonstrates an ability to look squarely at her own feelings which will undoubtedly stand her in good stead in the future.
"Gloria and I kept getting together for sex as often as we could over the rest of summer vacation. It was getting to the point that I preferred getting it on with her over the same action with a boy. Well, it really wasn't that way. The fact was, there just wasn't any boy I was getting it on with at the time.
"I suppose I worried a few times about that. I mean, things like lesbians and stuff like that still had weird connotations to me. My reactions to Gloria were much more physical than mental but it still bothered me a little. Looking back on it now, I see that it was just the fact that I wasn't getting it on with boys too that bothered me. But that was soon corrected. By none other than Gloria herself.
"Gloria had this boyfriend who'd been away for summer. When Danny came hack in the fall, they started seeing a lot of each other, although Gloria and I still managed to get in our sessions together. Knowing that my experiences with Tommy hadn't been that great, Gloria arranged for me to go out with Danny's best friend, Niles. I knew Niles casually from student council, but not socially. He was tall and very cute. He had long blonde hair that fell at his shoulders, and I'd always dug him from far off.
"We double-dated with Gloria and Danny, and Niles and I hit it off really well. The next time we went Out, we went off alone and be bailed me. Man, did that change my frame of reference. It was different than with Gloria, but he sure put me in seventh heaven. I'm glad that it came around that way, because I was getting a bit worried about myself there for a while. At least I didn't end up a man-hater or something worse. After all that confusion, it'd just turned out that Tommy and I didn't click together, nothing more than that.
"I still managed to get it on with Gloria, mostly after school, but I was seeing a lot of Niles by then. It was one of those days, not long after Niles and I'd started seeing each other that I told Gloria about him, adding: 'I wonder what he'd think if he knew you and I get it on."
"Then Gloria started laughing hysterically. It took her several moments to regain her composure, a time that left me very confused over her reaction. Finally she got control of herself.
"You mean he hasn't told you."
"Told me what?" I was getting a bit up-tight, feeling like I was being put off. Then she finally went on to tell me a story that really burned my ears. It seems that Danny had told her about himself and Niles. Best friends as they were, just as tight as Gloria and I were, it seemed that they had somehow drifted into sexual relations with each other themselves. Gloria had known about it way back before she and I'd started getting it on together. I felt as if I were the butt of some cruel joke. But I quickly got over my shock when I realized that it wasn't any kind of a set-up or anything. Things had just happened as they had. Gloria had just given them a shove in the right direction.
"But the best was yet to come. It seemed that Danny and Gloria had been scheming on a way to get Niles and me together since I don't know when. And now that everything was going so smoothly, they were wondering if we could all get it on at once. Like sort of a casual orgy. They didn't want something all planned and formal, just a chance for us to all get together some time soon and see what would happen. And as luck would have it, her parents were going to leave that very weekend, so we'd have the place to ourselves.
"I got permission from my mom to spend the weekend with Gloria. I spent the rest of the week anticipating the scene. Niles was relieved when he found out that I was in on everything now. He'd been sort of worried that I'd look down on him or some such shit. But thinking about it, the disclosure took a lot of pressure off my mind. Sure, there'd been some fear in my mind about my homosexuality, but I didn't feel like that anymore. Niles certainly didn't look like a screaming fag, and his performances with me left no doubt that he was all man. When I turned the same criteria around on myself, I didn't feel so bad.
"So everything was all set for the weekend. Of course, my folks had no idea what was going on, and neither did Gloria's. We made good grades and all, so we were above suspicion.
"The first night, nothing much came down. We hadn't planned anything, so we just figured to let everything take its course. After an hour or so, we retired to our respective bedrooms, Danny and Gloria going off to hers, while Niles and I did a wild sixty-nine, among other things, in her parent's bed.
"The next morning, though was something else. Niles nudged me awake, a finger pressed against his lips in a gesture of silence. As I cleared the cobwebs away, I heard sounds coming from Gloria's bedroom, sounds that left little doubt as to what could be going on.
"Oh, oh! Give it to me, Danny. Fuck me!"
"Most of the sound was muffled, coming in moans, but the general idea got through to us.
Niles and I exchanged a smile as we listened, anticipation building in both of us. After a few more seconds of listening to the sighs and the creaking of the bed, Niles got up and took me by the hand, intent on creeping up on them. It was then that I saw the results of his eaves-dropping. He had a big hard on that jiggled in front of him to point the way.
"I was rapidly getting turned on myself, quietly tiptoeing down the hall behind him. The sounds were louder as we reached the open door of Gloria's bedroom, and Niles silently peeped around the corner to have a look. His eyes got all big and bright, his cock throbbing in response to the visuals. Then he turned to me and whispered for me to wait for a second, then pattered down the hall. In a flash he returned, smearing some vaseline on his cock, an impish grin on his face. He clearly had decided to do more than just watch.
"Handing me the jar of vaseline, he crept back around the corner, motioning for me to follow. As he disappeared into the bedroom with a mighty bound, I crept behind him, my eyes focusing in on the scene just in time to see Niles leap onto the bed with Gloria and Danny. Danny was atop Gloria in the classic position, putting his cock to her when Niles joined them. Startled momentarily, Danny paused in his rhythm and looked over his shoulder only to see Niles edging up behind him on his knees, throbbing red cock in hand.
"Good morning!' came the greeting from Niles as he met Danny's befuddled stare. "Danny regained his orientation and welcomed the new addition, then returned his gaze to Gloria. She managed to smile, even though she'd been screwed halfway home, then pounded her legs on Danny's sides as a signal for him to get back to balling. It was all pretty flabbergasting to me, but I managed to take a step inside the doorway so I could lean against the wall and watch. I retained just enough semblance about myself to place the vaseline jar on Gloria's dresser so I wouldn't drop it later. I figured I'd just sit this one out, or stand it out if my legs would hold me. The whole thing, sudden as it had been was turning me on violently, my crotch beginning to get moist.
"I watched in amazement as Niles positioned himself behind Danny's ass, smearing the lubricant all along his shaft. Danny, apparently eager for Niles to join in the fun, scooted his weight up on his knees a bit so that his ass was more elevated, just right for taking a cock. Gloria adjusted too, the sweat-soaked sheets rumpling up as she did so. After several awkward moments, the duo became a trio, Danny waiting for Niles to hook up his hose before starting up with Gloria again.
"Danny jumped a bit as Niles guided his thick cock up to his asshole, then pressed hard. It took a few hard lunges before the tight hole gave way,. Danny letting out a short gasp as Niles sank the bone deep into his rectum. And then, they began, Danny pushing his hips slowly into Gloria's pussy. The timing was hard at first, and Niles missed a few beats until he adjusted to Danny's rhythm, but in no time at all they were chugging along again.
"Every time Danny's ass thrust back, his cock pulling out from Gloria's pussy, Niles would slam into his hole. Niles hardly had to move, as I guess his cock would've slipped out of Danny's ass if he would've pulled back too far. He just made a little sharp movement every time Danny pulled back, and let Danny do the work. I guess he must've run the cock out his ass to about the tip every time he buried his own cock back in Gloria's pussy. The whole thing was sort of funny to watch. Their coordination looked all out of kilter, but still it was exciting. I wasn't watching for laughs anyway. In fact, I was getting pretty dizzy from excitement. I kept looking for a loose connection somewhere, wishing I could join in the fun. I found my hand playing with my pussy, which was easy enough to do I guess. Especially since I was naked, having just woken up. But that just didn't do it. I silently wished they'd get it over fast so I could get a turn.
"I'd never seen two guys getting it on before, and frankly I was surprised at how much it was turning me on. Somehow the fact that Gloria was underneath it all didn't make any difference. Oh, I'm sure it meant a lot to Gloria, but from my vantage point, it was the guys that were turning me on.
"The whole thing didn't last very long. Danny and Gloria were pretty close to coming before we came in. All of a sudden, I could see Danny's body tense up. Then, with several hard lunges, he emptied his guts into Gloria. From the way she was yelling and carrying on, I could tell that she had made it too. Which left poor Niles hanging high and dry. Danny had collapsed on top of
Gloria, his knees giving way under the strength of his orgasm, and Niles's cock popped out. He didn't miss a trick though. He just took his hand from Danny's side, where he'd been holding on for leverage, and placed it in a fist around his prick, then started beating off.
"I just watched the strange ritual, petting on my own pussy with my hand, until it suddenly dawned on me that I'd been totally ignored.
"Hey, what about me?" I yelled.
"Niles turned and looked over his shoulder, then went beet red. In his excitement, he'd actually forgotten. Then he quickly gestured me over, wiping his cock on the top sheet to take some of the shit off of it. But just as I started to move, Danny rolled off of Gloria, coming around again.
"Sorry, Niles," he said. And with that, he pushed Niles over against the wall on one side of the bed, and knelt down so that he could blow him as repayment for the job he'd done on his ass. I don't think one of those crazy mother-fuckers could see six inches past the bed. Niles flashed me a helpless look as he landed on his haunches as sort of an apology, so I gave him the best smile I could muster under the circumstances to let him know he was forgiven. And then he had better things to do-Danny was really sucking his cock, his head bobbing up and down over Niles's crotch furiously. Niles just laid his head back against the wall and got this far off look of satisfaction, leaving me at just about the place I'd started, rubbing at my pussy with my hand. I just couldn't wait. Everything I'd been watching had really turned me on, and I just couldn't seem to get in on it.
"Just about then, my luck changed. Gloria came to, and blinked her way back to some sort of reality. First she glanced at the guys, who were off in their own world by that time, and then she saw me. I must've been a pitiful sight over there by the doorway, playing with myself, 'cause she got this very empathetic look in her eye and motioned for me to come over.
"I got there as quickly as I could, and Gloria told me to sit on her face so she could make me happy. There was barely enough room on the bed, but I managed to straddle her chest with my knees on either side of her. Then I leaned up off my haunches so that my pussy was just over her face. Balancing with one hand on the headboard, and the other behind Gloria's neck to help guide her to the target, I settled down to a very welcome touch.
"Gloria went at it hard and heavy, trying to make up for whatever rudeness they'd shown me. She gave me the best head I'd ever had up until then. Of course, I like it to work out so that the best head, or ball, or whatever it is that I'm currently getting is the best. That way, there's always something to look forward to.
"It wasn't going to take me very long to get my rocks off from the way Gloria was working on my pussy. I really had to hold onto that headboard to keep from getting tossed off onto the floor what with the way the guys were rocking the bed down at the other end. I'm sure Gloria and I were doing our own share of making waves ourselves. I wasn't able to hold on for long.
"I was really pretty close to coming when I'd climbed aboard, and with the expert way Gloria gives head, she soon had me all weak in the knees. She concentrated mainly on my clit, sucking the shit out of it, and I suddenly got hot flashes inside, and started getting dizzy. I had to reach out and hold onto the headboard with both hands when I came, 'cause everything got really rocky. I hadn't even had my breakfast yet.
"But after everything settled down, we decided to skip breakfast. Because as soon as we'd all regained our strength, we started in again. Somehow, it was decided that it would be a gas to change partners, and the next thing I knew I was paired off with Danny. He was the only one of the group I'd never made it with before, and the prospects were exciting.
"Gloria and Niles got after it right away, claiming most of the bed. It didn't matter since I had something in mind that didn't require the bed. Having watched Niles give it to Danny in the ass, I asked my partner if he'd object to trying his tool out on my ass.
"He seemed eager to comply with my wish, going over to the dresser to slab some vaseline on his prick. I bent over the foot of the bed and watched as Niles mounted Gloria and began balling her in the regular fashion. Danny told me that it might hurt a bit at first, but that he would try and be as gentle as possible. It was really exciting for me to be doing something I'd never done before, so I was sure I could get through any momentary pain.
"But once he had positioned himself behind me, placing his hands on my hips to balance his weight, I felt a shudder go through me in fearful anticipation of the pain. Then I felt him pressing hard against the ring of my asshole and felt some of the burning pain shoot through me. I tightened up in defense, but he assuringly told me to relax, so I tried as best I could.
"I was surprised to find very little pain once he'd gotten past my asshole. It slid in nice and easy-he'd greased up his cock pretty good. Aside from a slightly stuffed feeling, it didn't hurt at all. He was very gentle with me as he began moving in and out of me, careful not to damage the sensitive tissues. I flattened my chest along the bed and let him plow me good, jerking my hips back a bit to keep time with him.
"Gradually, I could feel the heat build up inside me, only it was a little different than usual. The cramped, tight feeling of his cock inside my ass seemed to be touching off nerves that didn't usually come into play during regular balling. His cock was now moving in longer strokes, making it feel like somebody had a stopper up my ass with a string attached to it. Every time he pulled the string, it felt like my guts would move a few inches inside me. It was really a strange sensation, but it felt wild. There was sort of a dull ache that built up inside me as he continued to screw my ass, but it was a pleasurable sort of pain. Really yummy.
"I really got into being fucked in the ass, moans escaping from my lips with every sure stroke of Danny's cock. I stretched out along the foot of the bed, letting the pleasures sink in, gazing up through unclear eyes at Niles's ass as it bobbed up and down over Gloria. Gloria had her legs wrapped tight around his back, and she was bumping all over the place, but Niles held her down for a good screwing.
"Danny removed one of his hands from my waist, and the next thing I knew it was underneath me, searching for my pussy. He finally found it, running a sure finger up the groove until he came to the clit. Then he began really driving his cock to me with renewed effort, his hand rubbing at my clit to give me an extra kick.
"Things really started heating up then, and I knew that I would be coming soon. His finger on my trigger was all I needed to push me over the edge. He lunged in hard, his balls slapping against me, close to orgasm himself. And then I felt a hot, milky load being shot up my ass. It was fucking out of this world. Something I'd never felt before. A weird blend of pain and pleasure that blazed through me like a forest fire on the run and left me completely without resources.
"I could tell that I'd found something new, a something I'd be requesting in the future. Dan just collapsed over my back, and we were nearly rocked asleep by the rolling of the bed caused by Niles and Gloria.
"After time out for brunch, we got back to the bedroom. If fact, aside from time outs for food, I don't think we left the bedroom for the rest of the weekend. It's like we all got turned on to some new toy, except that it was better than just a toy since there were other human beings involved.
"If somebody'd been there trying to keep a box score, I'm sure he would have run out of paper. I don't think there wasn't anything we didn't try, in one combination or the other. At least we tried about all we knew, all the things that could be done with four people that didn't involve some sort of props.
"We even ended up taking some pictures of Sunday's activities with a Polaroid. Fuck, if my folks ever saw those, it'd be shit city for me! It's amazing some of the expressions I had on my face. Like you don't realize what it looks like until you see it. I wanted to die. There was this one picture of me, bent over the dresser while Gloria shoved it to me with another cucumber. It didn't even look like me. My face was all red and distorted. If I didn't know that I was actually there, I would've thought it was someone else.
"To sum it up, our first weekend was a success. Such a success that we're still doing the same thing every chance we get. I still date Niles, and Gloria still dates Danny whenever we can't all get together at once, but our most fun comes when we all team up for one of those little orgies of ours whenever we get a house to use for the weekend. And that's not all. We've all applied for entrance to the same college, so we're hoping that our little quartet will still be swinging together next year too. When you've got a good thing going, don't fuck with the formula, we say. Just keep it cooking."
The subject is still at the point in her life where her future is somewhat uncertain. She seems to have come to terms with the possibility of pleasurable bisexual experience without sacrificing her own sense of femininity. Her current arrangements cannot be considered permanent, and none of her behavior excludes the possibility of successful marriage and motherhood for her.
CHAPTER FIVE
Untitled Billy
"What do you want to do, make me a eunuch? Okay, so psychologically speaking, you want to 'reorient me toward normal sex relationships.' By what right do you define or limit those 'normal sex relationships'? What the hell is 'normal'? Screwing some wench on the back seat of a car? No, man, that ain't nothing but plain old animalistic rutting.
"You can't define what's 'normal.' What's good for one ain't necessarily good for another. I figure if you enjoy painting in oils and don't go around smearing other people's walls with your shades of red there ain't any just cause why some s.o.b. should come out to say that oil painting is bad-that the only way to go is with water colors, as long as you don't limit your life to water coloring. Hell, anything done to excess is 'bad.' A guy can bloat himself by excessive drinking of water. You may not know it, but guys have died of that. I can't quote statistics on it, but I'd bet fifty bucks more guys have died of excessive drinking of water than killed themselves masturbating.
"No bet? Because you're not a betting man or because you know I'm right? So this isn't a session for bets. It's ordered by the court to 'rehabilitate' me. Rehabilitate me to what? A horny guy who screws dames? As a matter-of-fact-as a matter of record, court record, as it happens-I was apprehended in a raid on what the cops choose to call 'an orgy.' Yeah! They interrupted one of the nicest lays I've had. A blonde with . . . Aw, nuts!
"And some guy bought himself immunity by telling the court I was a cocksucker. And bugger. Fellatio and sodomy! He's a twerp! A twitch! That's something that never even grew up to be a jerk. I ought to pull his pecker out till it's a yard long and tie it in knots, so he could screw himself.
"No, I'm not being a smart aleck. I'm just disgruntled. Hey, can a guy be 'gruntled'? If a guy can be dismayed, can another be 'mayed'? Or how about uncouth? Can someone else be 'couth'? If so, I figure I'm 'couth'. Wouldn't you?
"No? You figure I'm just a bright brat, huh? Maybe I am. I'll have to think that one through. Certainly I'm bright enough. You must have my scholastic record right in front of you. A.B. in Humanities-summa cum laude. M.A. in Electronics-also summa cum laude. All before I was twenty-two. And I'm consultant to a major electronics firm today, at twenty-four. And what this arrest is going to do to my job I don't know. Oh, not being arrested at the orgy. I'll have guys all the way up to the vice president asking me for telephone numbers. It's being stuck with this label of cocksucker. That can really fuck up the show.
"Ashamed of it? No, of course not. No more than you'd be ashamed of hemorrhoids. Just think of it in headlines: 'Eminent Psychologist Has Hemorrhoids.' You ARE an eminent psychologist, aren't you? I'd hate to think I was being interviewed by anyone but an eminent psychologist.
"So you don't think you'd tell the world you had hemorrhoids. And probably especially not if they were announced as 'piles'-a truly ugly word. That's how I feel about 'cocksucker'-embarrassing. And if talked about, it could lead to social complications. Maybe even fiscal problems, like losing my job. Some things you just don't want bruited about, like your bleeding piles.
"Okay, so you don't have bleeding piles. Don't get in an uproar. By the way, doctor, have you taken your blood pressure recently? Your neck is so red and. . . .
"Sorry. We can drop it. I didn't know you were sensitive about your-I said we'd drop it. I said I was sorry, doctor. And I apologize. I'm a bit nervous and it makes me talkative. But that's what you wanted, wasn't it? For me to be talkative?
"Do you honestly mean that, doctor? That, if I talk out my problems the court really won't publicize my crimes? My alleged crimes, since they were only based on hearsay. No, I'm not being facetious. I'm quite serious. And I'll be quite frank.
"I like boys, yes. But not in preference to girls. Not by any means. In fact, I would say that I go for boys only when there isn't a desirable girl convenient. I'm double-gaited. A switch-hitter. You might even say I'm multigated, since I like sex any way it's available. From whoever, girl or boy, by cunt, cunnilingus, fellatio and-well, I never was too fond of sodomy. It always seemed to me a poor substitute for the real thing. Though I have seen some charming boys. I've even tried it for myself and found it quite stimulating.
"In fact, that's how I got introduced to sex. When I was-oh, I'd say, about fourteen. By my father. Now he really liked boys. I suspect that's why my mother left him, though he always said she ran off with another man. However, the 'why' of that has always intrigued me. Did she leave him because he preferred boys, or did he turn to boys because she left him? And if so, why boys? There were any number of girls around. And available. Quite readily available. And while my father wasn't any John Barry-more or Robert Taylor, he certainly wasn't any ogre.
"Oh, get back to me? Certainly. Though an understanding of my father is essential, I think, to understanding me and my 'sexual aberrations," not that I agree with the term.
"Since my father was interested in boys and in the particular type that practiced sodomy, I grew up surrounded by what you would call pansies. They were gay. They pranced and postured in a very poor imitation of females, though that is not necessarily a characteristic of the genre. I have seen any number since who were as masculine in manner as any athlete. In fact, some of them were very fine athletes. Actually, several notable athletes are homosexuals.
"However, my father seemed to prefer the effeminate types. Some of them even lounged around the house in drag, which, as a young boy quite heartily masculine, I regarded as downright silly. Nevertheless, they were of better than average intelligent and, when they forgot to posture, could be entertaining conversationalists.
"There were petty jealousies and bickering that struck me as infantile. And one or another would flounce away, indignant.
"It was in one of those periods when there were no imagine young men actually around the house. No doubt my father found such companionship outside but I wouldn't know about that. I know I had gone to bed earlier than usual, out of boredom, and, still out of boredom, I suspect, I began to play with my pecker.
"It became quite enlarged and erect, which fascinated me. Understand, I was young and quite naive, despite my association with homosexuals. I wasn't even quite sure what to do about this phenomenon, even though masturbation is said to be instinctive. I was experimenting with rubbing on my dick and so intent I didn't hear my father come in and wasn't aware of him until I heard him speak. He was drunk-perhaps 'pleasantly buzzed' is more accurate and came to stand by my bed, frowning down at me. I tried huddling in on myself but could scarcely conceal what I had been attempting, which made me acutely embarrassed.
"Suddenly he laughed. "Beating your dummy, eh? Well, I can show you a better way, son. Quit scrooching like that. Straighten out.' He eyed my erect penis, nodding. "You're getting to be a big boy. So maybe I should teach you a few things.' He reached out and touched my penis.
"A thrill went through me. Both a shock and a thrill. It was a shock to learn that my father knew all about a penis and a thrill to have him feel it, gently, almost tenderly.
"He nodded slowly, considering. "Yes, we should do something about that delicious piece of meat.' He held it firmly in one hand and moved slowly up and down, until I could scarcely breathe, the sensation was so wonderful.
"He bent over me, still eyeing my penis, erect now and quivering in his hand. "Yes, delicious. I have no doubt.' He bent closer and kissed the bulb of it, licking out his tongue to sip up the small drop of moisture glittering on the end.
"I lay there, shivering with excitement, wondering what would come next. I even considered the possibility that he was teasing me, tormenting me, really, and that, at any moment he'd twist off my pecker and my balls. I understand, from reading Freud, that this is a common fantasy, castration of the son by the father.
"Instead he fitted his mouth around my penis and began to suck, sliding his mouth down on it as his hand released it, until his face was pressed against my pelvis, his tongue working all around and over the bulbous head, the glans. His fingers played across my stomach and his other hand caressed my leg as he moved his head up and down with a curious sucking motion.
"His mouth and tongue were cool, almost cold against the heat of my prick, but it felt wonderful. I closed my eyes then and just gave myself up to feeling, a feeling of growing tightness, of building excitement in my belly, an excitement that was almost an ache in my balls.
"There were moments when I thought he might suddenly bite off my penis-a lingering of the Freudian myth of the castration dream. Mostly, though, I just gave myself up to this wild building of tension, of waiting, anticipating something extraordinary, something that I somehow knew would be a thrill.
"His fingers teased my balls and slid down to touch my asshole-and I knew something was going to happen! Something explosive. The nearest I could come to explaining it then was that I had an all-compelling urge to pee. I had to let go. Something had to give. I pushed at his head. "Dad, I've got to pee. Or something."
"My father laughed deep in his throat. I could feel the laughter rather than hear it, a rumble that titillated my glans and triggered response. I couldn't hold back any longer! Even as I pushed at my father's head, I felt the explosion coming. My father resisted, holding his head firm, pushing away my hands-and sucked deep on my penis.
"I exploded, not once but three times in rapid succession, feeling the wonderful release of tension and the exquisite satisfaction of an ejaculation. I humped up, trying to thrust my penis deeper into his throat-and he bore down on me, drinking deep of my juices. He continued sucking long after I was dry, expended, with my penis beginning to subside.
"Finally he straightened, wiping almost daintily at his mouth. "Delicious, my boy. Delicious! The virgin drink from a vernal spring. Ah!"
"He was really a silly, pretentious man in his speech, particularly when he was slightly buzzed. Still, he had liked it. That was obvious. Well, so had I, except for a few early moments of embarrassment and some lingering fears of castration.
"I just lay there, breathing in shallow gasps, wondering what happened next.
"It wasn't long in coming. My father, still watching me, mostly at my pelvis, began to undress, dropping his clothes as he shed them. "Move over son, and I'll show you something else new."
"He was naked, his prick erect, its bulb large and purplish red, the shaft knotted with distended veins. I couldn't move for watching him and wondering what came next. And, of course, savoring the feeling that had just happened.
"He lay down on the bed beside me, rumping me over to make room. Fortunately most of the beds in our house were over-large. Queen-sized, which may have some Freudian significance.
"I slid over on my butt, my penis limp and flaccid after the sucking-off my father had given me, my eyes on his prick, stiff and swollen. He turned on his side, facing me and his penis struck my leg like an electric spark.
"He caught me at shoulder and hip and started to turn me. "We'll take it easy, son. Just roll on your side, your ass toward me. You're going to love this!"
"Frankly, I didn't. Not much, except as a novel experience. That's one reason I have never been especially interested in sodomy.
"He rolled me part way over and then reached over my hip and started playing with my penis. I had thought I could never get another hard on after his cocksucking, but slowly I began to feel an interest in my balls and my penis. The second erection was almost painful at the beginning, but as my penis swelled and as my father slid his prick along the crack of my ass, until it touched my balls, excitement wiped out the pain-if any remained.
"I could look down and see the head of his prick, purplish and already splashed with juice, as it bobbed in and out past my balls, rubbing them and the crack of my ass until I had a good, strong hard on.
"Father was playing with my dick all the time, sliding his hand back and forth, so tension was building up again, so much so my very balls seemed to expand with it. Expand and ache. And father was sort of crooning to me all the time, telling me I was going to 'love it, son. Love it."
"Well, I did and I didn't. I did because it was new and exciting. Really stimulating. And I didn't because it hurt. Maybe because father's prick was too big, maybe because I didn't know how to relax and take it.
"Father slid his dick from between my legs and put one hand down, playing with my asshole. The first time he touched it I nearly shot out of bed. It was like being goosed. But then it began to feel good. I think he put some vaseline or salve on my asshole. Or maybe it was just naturally wet and his juices helped lubricate it more.
"Anyway, he began to work his prick up against my asshole, pushing and grunting a little. I could feel my asshole stretch, like I was having a big, hard, outsized crap, only going the wrong way. Then, suddenly, he slid in, just his bulb, but it seemed monstrous, as big as a baseball bat.
"I know my asshole reacted, clamping down on his prick, and father groaned-with delight. "That's it, son. Make your ass chew on it. Keep it up. Keep it up."
"He rammed his dick deeper into me and started working it in and out. At the same time he was playing with my prick and balls. I don't know if I did keep up chewing on his prick, because I was too interested in what was happening to me. That old build-up started all over again. A rhythmic tightening in my belly seemed to be pumping me up, until something had to explode.
"I yelled to my father to hold my prick tight and he damn near wrenched it off. About that time I felt his dong swell and pulse, while he practically climbed into me, reaming so hard, grunting and swearing. Really grinding it in. Then he shot off in me. And I let go, too. For a second I was scared he was strangling my prick, but I shot a load. I guess that's the first time I wet a bed since I was about five or six.
"I really shot a big, wet load, especially for a second round. A doctor I know who is gay told me asshole reaming made a guy shoot off big because the prick up his ass massaged the prostate and set things really going. I don't know if he's correct. But if that's so, I don't see why girls like asshole reaming so much. And some do. Girls don't have a prostate. Yet I've had some of 'em tell me they like it better than cunt fucking.
"That was my first introduction to sex. I think. I've got a vague notion I tried something with a little girl when I was just a kid, but that may only be fantasizing. Like you dream up improbable situations when you pull your pud.
"My father lay up against my back for a long while, breathing heavily and cursing under his breath, while his dong deflated and slid out of my asshole. That was so sore by then that I was relieved when his prick slid out. And embarrassed, too, because I had wet the bed.
"Finally my father rolled over on his back, mumbling and muttering about what a son of a bitch he was, buggering his own son. And I just lay there, sort of curled up, my back to him, not saying anything. What's there to say when you just been sucked off and then buggered for the first time-by your own father. I just kind of murmured 'It's okay. It's okay.' But not very loud, because honestly, I hurt. My asshole felt as hot as a stove lid, really burning, as if I had a fever down there, and my balls ached and so did my prick. Also, I had this urgent need to pee, which I figured I couldn't hold much longer, and that was hurting me.
"Maybe my father was used to that reaction.
I guess it's a pretty common physiological phenomenon. Anyway, he swung his legs over the side of the bed and sat up, his head in his hands. "Want to go to the John, son?'
"I scrambled around him and shot for my bathroom. Except for a hot ache in my prick, that was the best pee I ever remember. I walked slowly back to the bedroom, trying not to waddle, but my asshole still hurt.
"My father looked up, watching me. "You've got a magnificent body, son. Truly classic. A beautiful physical specimen.' He stooped to gather up his clothes and then stood up, looking at me. "Thank you, son. Thank you. Tomorrow evening I will show you something else, something even more delightful. But for now, good night. Sleep well."
"I didn't sleep too well. Not right off. I had to keep out of the puddle I had made in the bed and I ached something fierce in my asshole. I made up my mind then I wasn't going to try buggering -with me as the buggered-ever again.
"At breakfast my father could see I sat light, wincing-and maybe I did put on a little, just to show him. He just grinned and said, 'Son you'll outgrow it," and went off to work.
"That night, as I was getting undressed, my father came into my room in one of his gaudy robes-he had a whole collection of them. This one was gold and red, sort of Chinese. He stood looking at me, shaking his head. "No need to huddle, son. I'm certainly not going to hurt you. And if you don't like buggering, I'll show you something you will like. Don't bother with pajamas."
"The maid had changed the sheets, so the puddle wasn't even a dried spot, the sheets clean and fresh. I crawled into bed, not knowing what to expect but thinking there are only one or two methods of sex, so it couldn't be very different. That's how dumb I was. I hadn't, at that time, read Natural Sex Techniques, which lists forty-five ways of fucking. And that's just with a woman! And not counting buggering. Later on, after I learned about girls, I tried most of 'em. And invented a couple on my own. Did you ever try screwing a girl in a swing? It's terrific!
"Oh, what my father had to teach me! Sure. Actually, it wasn't so unusual, as I later found out, but sort of startling at that time.
"He pulled me around, crosswise on the bed, with my head at the edge toward him and my legs dangling off the other side. And my pecker standing straight up, because I got a hard on just from feeling his hands on me, just brushing at my prick while he adjusted me on the bed.
"He flung off his robe and stood spraddle-legged over my head, his dong dangling almost in my face. Then he bent over and started playing with my pecker. I could see his prick start to swell, rising and quivering, as he played with mine. And diddled with my balls. Looking up at his scrotum-which got full and tight as I watched-and his big prick vibrating right above me, I began to get the idea. He wanted me to play with it.
"I reached up and started a slow, easy jerk-off, squeezing and milking it a little, the way he was doing mine. All the time that was getting me so excited, with my stomach knotting up, that
I'd almost forget to give him a ride. Pretty soon he went down on my pecker, his tongue almost seeming to wrap around it and his mouth working as he bobbed his head up and down. It was exciting, all right, but what was so different?
"He told me then, taking his mouth off my pecker, 'Son, open your mouth and take it. Go ahead, son, quick.' And went back to working on my pecker. I kind of hesitated. In my mouth? That thing? His pee-stick? But I pulled it down and opened my mouth. He rammed his bulb inside and I got my first taste of a man! The juice on the end of his prick slid down my tongue and I tasted him, salty and almost bitter. And I liked it!
"I began to suck and swirl my tongue around it while he was working on my dong, bobbing his head up and down and sucking like crazy. Suddenly he began to bob his ass back and forth, ramming his prick deeper and deeper into my throat. And I started humping up and down to ram mine into his mouth.
"Things got awful tight inside, and around my balls and in my prick, but mostly the tightness was down in my crotch and spreading up into my belly, a very exciting tightness. I began to hump faster, and my father started pumping his ass faster, ramming deeper and deeper into my throat.
"I knew I couldn't hold the excitement any longer and that I was going to shoot my wad, only I couldn't tell my father because his prick was rammed into my mouth. I caught at his ass cheeks and tried to make him lift off me but instead he just leaned into me. I could feel his prick slip past some muscles in my throat and go on down, it seemed indefinitely.
"I was choking and couldn't breathe. I started heaving my head around to get rid of his dong but he clamped his legs on either side of my head and rammed down once more with his ass. And let go. I could feel his come shoot down his shaft and down my mouth and explode deep in my throat.
"Just about then I let go too, and he took every drop of my come, sucking hard. Like I was taking his. And the tension was exquisite, as the release was marvelous. My mouth and throat filled with his come, and I swallowed, tasting the sharp, salty, ammoniac flavor of him.
"He had been right. He had taught me something new and, to me, wonderful, the most wonderful experience I had known, up to then.
"After that my father and I used to suck each other off fairly regularly. Sometimes I was underneath, sometimes on top, working down into his mouth and sucking on his prick while leaning over him. I think I liked that best, because I was sort of in control. A couple of times he begged me to let him bugger me, and I let him, but I didn't like it. So after that he didn't insist. He saved that for some of his cute boy friends, the real swishy types.
"We kept up this double-suck deal for almost a year. Along about then I discovered girls. I like them better. They have nicer figures and cuter little asses and real, hot cunts. Only, at first, I wasn't sure they liked screwing. The fact is, I was scared of girls. They were so-well, kind of superior, as if their little twats were especially valuable. Which they are. Oh, definitely, they are!
"I'll tell you about my first experience with a girl in a moment, if you'll give me a drink. Water will do. No, I don't use alcohol, except socially. And as for drugs! Ugh! I like to know what I'm doing, all the time I'm doing it, especially when fucking. Thanks."
Billy's objections to the attempts of the court to provide for rehabilitation by "reorienting toward normal sex" are made on the grounds that it is impossible to define or limit normal sex and on his refusal to accept the court's definitions of aberration. Although these objections cannot be supported by psychiatric literature, to a certain extent his objections to a possible reorientation are well founded.
The possibility of reorienting homosexuals toward a heterosexual adjustment is actually fairly slim, according to most analytic accounts. Irving Bieber and his associates in Homosexuality present a letter to a concerned parent of a homosexual son which was written by Freud himself, in which the great doctor states that he can make no promises to achieve the abolition of homosexuality through analysis. Bieber and associates go on to comment:
Freud's views, succinctly stated, epitomize psychoanalytic opinion of what may be expected from the psychoanalysis of homosexuals. Other investigators have held even less optimistic views. The recent report of the Wolfenden Committee which surveyed the problem of homosexuality in Great Britain, asserted: "We were struck by the fact that none of our medical witnesses were able when we saw them to provide any reference in medical literature to a complete change. . . . Our evidence leads us to the conclusion that a total reorientation from complete homosexuality is very unlikely indeed."
As we have seen, very few persons are thus exclusively homosexual or heterosexual anyway. In the case of a person such as Billy, the sexual orientation already represents a kind of compromise adjustment and the possibility of any kind of reorientation seems that much more unlikely.
One of the primary factors in considering the possible results of the kind of therapy which the court has ordered for Billy is the patient's motivation to change, and in Billy's case this obviously would preclude any easy success on the part of the psychologist, since Billy makes it clear that he has no desire to change.
Another aspect of Billy's adjustment which seems to preclude any reorientation is his extreme resentment of the accusations made against him, the attaching of labels to him which has been done, and the efforts of the psychologist to change his orientation. Given his resentment, and his basic commitment to what for him is a long-standing way of life, it seems highly unlikely that he will make any change.
Billy has been caught committing acts which are prohibited by many laws in the United States. Alfred C. Kinsey and his associates in Sexual Behavior in the Human Female discuss the legal attitude toward these acts:
While it is, of course, impossible for laws to prohibit homosexual interests or reactions, they penalize, in every state of the Union, some or all of the types of contact which are ordinarily employed in homosexual relations. The laws are variously identified as statutes against sodomy, buggery, perverse or. unnatural acts, crimes against nature, public and in some instances private indecencies, grossly indecent behavior, and unnatural or lewd and lascivious behavior. The penalties in most of the states are severe, and in many states as severe as the penalties against the most serious crimes of violence.
Thus Billy is concerned with the effect of his arrest upon his job situation with good reason. It is apparent that he is highly intelligent and capable of maintaining a constructive position in society. Since he cannot be unaware of the possible negative consequences of his behavior, it is necessary to find some extremely strong motive for his pursuance of what is currently considered antisocial behavior.
It is possible to find part of this motive in his early history which he shares with the psychologist. He is the product of a broken home, and became aware at a very early age that his father's homosexuality had been a possible cause of the break-up of his parents.
In addition, his father blatantly surrounded the young Billy with homosexuals of many different types. There was no bona-fide female figure in his early life to give him a balanced view of his own sexual responses.
Even more shocking than his father's disregard for the growing boy's sensibilities in his choice of companions is his seduction of his son and his subsequent incestuous pattern. Homosexual incest is quite rare, and in Billy's case the incidences continued for quite some time, thus establishing in him a predisposition toward homosexuality.
All these factors contributed to Billy's fear of girls and his problems in overcoming those fears. By the time he did manage to become involved in heterosexual activities, he had already been established in his own eyes as at least partly a willing partner in homosexual sex.
It is significant that Billy's first experiences of sex were both with people more aggressive than he seems to be. Both his father and his first girl seduced him, with little or no effort on his part. This is further evidence for some degree of sex-role confusion. Although he has had a great deal of sexual experience, it is apparent that much of it was thrust upon him through circumstances, and that not many of his encounters were of his own making.
It seems more than possible that Billy's defiance of the psychologist's attempts to talk with him is based at least in part on his fear of what may be revealed. He states with bravado that he is not ashamed of his behavior and would not choose anything different. However, the difficult emotional cirmustances of his childhood indicate that he may not be as well adjusted to his own life-style as he would like the psychologist to believe.
Another indication of possible unhappiness in Billy's present life-style is his failure to have established a meaningful relationship with anyone, male or female, during the ten years of his bisexual practice. It is this more than any other factor which leads us to believe that Billy may, with time, be more willing to participate in the therapeutic process which could assist him in coming to terms with his own sexuality. -
"Sure, my father taught me the facts of life -as a homosexual. However, he never shared me with any of his homosexual friends, or let any of the 'beautiful boys' who hung around our house ever to lay a hand on me. To be quite honest-and that's the purpose of this psychiatric examination, isn't it?-I might have enjoyed a session with one of the regular homos, if I hadn't discovered girls.
"Or maybe I should say, if girls hadn't discovered me. You've been told a lot, in court, about how I am such a hot-shot lover. Well, believe it or not, at sixteen I was still-well, I wouldn't say shy-more like just plain scared of girls.
"The one who broke me in to heterosexual activity was a cute little blonde number, Eileen. Oh, that isn't her real name, so don't go making notes. I just called her that for identification. And to quote someone, I never remember quite who, 'that was in a far country, and besides, the wench is dead.' Actually, she's quite alive and very happily married, I understand. Which is the same thing to me. I don't monkey with marrieds.
"Eileen was a class or two behind me in high school. I had noticed her because she had boobs. Oh, a lot of girls in high school had boobs, some lots bigger than hers. But Eileen carried hers as if she were proud of them. Too many girls act like boobs are an affliction and try to hide 'em by slumping or hugging books against 'em when they're walking home. Or else they swing 'em around. Flaunt' em, and squeal like hell if a guy lays a hand on 'em.
"Eileen was the quiet type, cute, sort of snub-nosed and should have been freckle-faced but she wasn't. She had a creamy sort of skin, like magnolias only faintly flushed, as if she had a fever. In a way, I guess, you could say she did have a fever. In her cunt. She had hot pants. Not those silly, tight briefs the girls use to show off their cans and are hard as hell to get off in a hurry.
"Eileen had the genuine article, a really hot little cunt inside her panties. Not that I knew it until about a week before graduation. My graduation. She had a year or so to go. And I was heading off to college.
"She used that as an excuse. Or maybe she really wanted to know. She asked me at school about selecting a college, as if I knew all about it. Well, naturally I knew something. I had been mulling over colleges for over a year. But I made like I knew the whole inside story on all of 'em. A guy will sound off, you know. Make himself sound real wise.
"It ended up with me walking her home, talking. I guess I drew it out a bit, so as to walk along with her. She smelled nice. Girl-smell with maybe a hint of some perfume. Not like the swishes who perfume themselves so only a skunk would think they were female.
"At the door-it was a nice house, almost as big as ours, and sort of Tudor-Eileen said didn't I want to come in for a coke. I didn't really need a coke. It wasn't that hot. But she said it so cute, as if she really wanted me to come in, that I said, 'Sure, I'd love a coke-with you.' You know getting real daring and intimate.
"Eileen giggled and led the way in. saying over her shoulder, very casual, 'My mother isn't home. I hope you don't mind. And the maid's out. So just wait in the living room and I'll get the cokes."
"She took a long time getting the cokes, so I had an opportunity to study the room and decide the couch with the coffee table was a good, strategic spot. Not that I really had anything in mind, except maybe a smooch or two, if I could get that far.
"Eileen brought the cokes, with some cookies. She had also slid out of her school clothes and into a real slinky-looking robe that I took to be one of her mother's. It was-well, sort of mature. And nothing under it, as I found out.
"She bent over the coffee table, setting' down the tray, and I got a full treatment on her boobs, small but real nice and firm, with small brown nipples sticking up. I couldn't read the signs so well then and didn't know stiff little nipples meant she had the hots.
"She twitched herself around and sat on the couch by me, somehow managing to let the robe slip, so one knee and half her thigh poked out.
And when she bent over to reach the cokes, the top opened up and I got another view of her tits. By that time I had the hots myself, getting a hard on that was cramped inside my pants. She must have noticed. Hell, it stood up like it was saluting the flag.
"She managed to spill the coke on my trouser leg and looked dismayed. "Oh, Billy, I'm so sorry. It was awkward of me. Come on. I'll get you one of Daddy's bathrobes while your pants dry.' And she caught my hand, pulling me up.
"She led me by the hand, tucking it under her arm so I couldn't help but feel her tit. Which was what she wanted, only I was too dumb to realize it, being worried about my new pants gooped up with coke. And being just plain dumb about girls at that time.
"In her father's room she selected a robe. "Yes, blue goes better with your eyes.' Only she wasn't looking at my eyes. She had her eyes focused down on my cock, which was really standing up then, because I'd felt her tit and the heat of her body. I was really getting horny.
"She handed me the robe. "Skin out of those wet pants and slip this on.' And giggled. "Go ahead. I won't peep.' But she did. And I knew she did. Watched me in the mirror. But a mirror works both ways. So I skinned out of my shorts, too, and let my pecker wave around for a second before I got into the robe. Just to give her a thrill.
"By the time we were back on the couch I had figured things out. She wanted some heavy smooching, maybe some feeling up. The possibility of a lay hadn't yet occurred to me. I was that dumb. A first-class stupe.
"So, nonchalant as hell, I draped an arm over the back of the couch and let it slide down on one tit, feeling it through the robe she had on. She moaned a little and practically crawled in my lap, shedding the robe, and clawing at mine.
"Man, she was cute! Her titties were like soft little peaches and there was only a little golden down at her cunt. Her legs tapered so nicely into her hips and her stomach was flat. Flat but heaving some, so her belly-button practically winked at me. She was all girl. Not the imitations the swishes put on.
"Now, at that time I may have been dumb about girls but I don't need a house to fall on fall on me to know opportunity is knocking at the door. So I grabbed her, maybe not with a real smooth technique, but effective, right on her titties. She moaned a little and threw her arms around me. That hampered my style a little but made some very pleasant contacts between her tits and my chest. Somewhere along the line I had shucked the robe so we were both naked as eels. But prettier. At least, she was. Not that I could see so well right then, since we were kissing, real tongue smooching. Hers felt as hot. as flannel cakes but a lot sweeter. And could she wriggle it around!
"I extricated one hand and began massaging her rump, sliding it around and in and out until it was right on her cunt, expecting at any minute to have her call time on me. I began pushing a finger along the lips of her cunt, which were hot and wet. Once in a while I'd dip right into the honey pot, since her legs had opened up, making it easy. She'd moan and wriggle and tongue all the harder, moving her titties so my chest felt like it might ignite.
"Her nipples were hard and erect, beautiful tiny mounds on her tits surrounded by a pinkish-beige aureole. I wanted to get down on them for a good tonguing but I was getting the full treatment myself, with her tongue sliding around in my mouth. Suddenly she drew her head back and practically stuck a tit in my mouth, pulling my head down and pressing it hard against her tit. So hard the flesh welled up and stopped my breathing, but I didn't mind. I figured what a helluva way to go, with a mouthful of nipple and titties, flesh stopping my nostrils.
"About then I rammed my exploring finger right up her cunt, feeling around inside that beautiful wet cavern of girl. Eileen gasped and fell back across my knees, letting me function again in the breath department. My dong was rapping at her cellar door, on her ass, but letting her know it was there, all right, eager and ready.
"And she knew. She also knew, better than I did, what to do about it. She wriggled around, breathing heavy and not really looking at me, until she straddled my legs, with my prick beating at her cunt. And she was murmuring, 'Please. Please! Please!' Like I might refuse. Who could refuse that?
"I looked down, right at her little snatch with the golden downy hair and that pinky slit opened wide. And then at my dong, which was pretty damn big. I wasn't sure they'd fit, but she knew better. She grabbed my prick with one hand and rubbed it along her slit until I felt it touch her clitoris, then back again, humping closer and closer to me as she did.
"I humped a little, to help, and the head of my prick slipped in, pretty as you please. A little tight but real easy. Eileen moaned and heaved toward me, ramming my dong into her to the halfway mark. And I drove it in the rest of the way, pulling on her rump to slide her along my legs until I was buried in that hot little trap up to my balls.
"She gasped and clutched at me. "Oh, Bill, don't hurt me. Don't hurt me. And don't give me a baby.' It was a little late to think of either of those things, since I was in her as far as I could go, feeling my glans rub up against the walls of her tunnel and way up, past some little hard button. And just about ready to unload, I was so wound up inside.
"I started soothing her down with my hands, along her back and sliding up every now and then to touch a tittie, so she forgot about everything else except getting what I had to give. She just humped and moaned and let out little yelps as I rammed up and drew back, just to ram up her tunnel again. Things were very hot inside her cunt, very hot and wet. And I was plenty hot myself, with my insides knotted up with tension.
"Until I couldn't hold it any longer. I reached down and grabbed the cheeks of that beautiful little ass and yanked her up on me, humping as I did. And exploded. Eileen let out a little scream and kicked herself a little farther forward, which wasn't much. And let go with everything she had. I could feel my wad shoot up my prick and burst far up her tunnel and feel her juices start coming down.
"She sat up, rigid, for a moment, her mouth wide open, her eyes staring. Then she slumped, falling forward on my chest. "Oh, Bill, that was wonderful. Wonderful.' And snuggled her head into my shoulder. "Wonderful," sounding almost sleepy.
"In a sort of daze she finally got up, after my prick slid out, deflated and wet, and wandered off, not even looking at me, just saying over her shoulder, sort of absently, 'I have to take a bath."
"I watched that cute, straight little figure, with those trim hips moving and those long, slim legs scissoring in and out. I'm thinking I'm the luckiest dog in the world, to get what I just had. Real sex with a real girl, and such a cute one, at that.
"About then I woke up to the fact that I needed a bath, too. Also, that I'd better get back into my own clothes before her parents got home. I meant to hurry but my legs didn't agree with me. Also, every now and then I had to stop and just grin to myself. I had fucked a GIRL!
"I got ready first, scrubbing myself down in her father's bathroom. I'd have liked to swipe some of his aftershave lotion but I figured he might smell it, recognize and guess what happened. I was so conscious of having screwed his daughter.
"Eileen came into the living room, freshened up and looking just as demure as she did at school, even smiling shyly at me. "We never did get around to having those cokes. I'll get some fresh ones.' She giggled. "And I won't spill any this time."
"After that we had a regular thing going. It continued into the summer, since my father and her family each had a beach cottage within a block of each other. Our only problem was slipping away from the other kids. Sometimes her family went into town and my father was always away during the day. The only trouble with our place was that some of my father's 'boys' hung around. We sometimes used her family's boathouse and once in a while I could get my father's cabin cruiser, though one or the other of his 'friends' usually tried to latch on to it.
"Ever try screwing a girl on a small boat in a choppy sea? Just choppy, not really rough. It has its points. Sometimes damn near jerks your prick right out of her cunt and sometimes slams the two of you together so hard it rams your dong two inches deeper in her hot box. Gives fucking a new dimension.
"That summer didn't last nearly long enough to get in all the fucking I wanted. Or Eileen wanted. I had practically given up cocksucking with my father. Not that he minded. With a beach cottage he could round up all the pansies he could handle. As a matter-of-fact, I think he rather liked the idea of my taking up with a girl. Oh, sure, he knew-or guessed, I expect. I know he once said to me, 'So you've got a woman. Well, watch out, son. They're treacherous. And likely to get pregnant."
"Well, those 'friends' of his weren't any too reliable, going off in a snit, usually taking some of the silver or a watch or two as they went. And as for pregnant, Eileen used The Pill. Practically every girl carries some in her 'emergency kit," along with thread, needle and snips for panty-hose repairs. Some guys get rough yanking 'em down.
"Not me. I'm the gentle type. If I meet too much resistance I back off. There are too many willing ones around. Understand, I don't mind a little resistance. It adds spice.
"Anyway, I went off to college. Maybe I was a little young, just barely sixteen, but I figured I could hold up my., end, in the book department, anyhow. And otherwise, if necessary. I'm six-one and even then weighed 180. I promised Eileen I'd invite her to the first prom. And I did. I had been pledged at Kappa Sig during Hell Week. That's when everybody gave us freshmen a helluva time.
"The boys at Kappa Sig were all squares. That is, they took their sex straight. With girls. And there were plenty around. Some real cute ones. And the parties the boys threw!
"My college was what they call a 'liberal arts' school, with the accent on the 'liberal.' So girls could visit the fraternities and the boys could go to the sororities, until it got so it was hard to tell which was which. More fucking went on than in a 'hot beds' motel. Not that I was getting much of it myself, being just a frosh and a pledge. But any guy six-one and built is bound to have some of that stuff offered him. Still, I was kind of anxious for Eileen to come to the first prom. I needed some deep-down screwing with a little affection thrown in.
"I put Eileen up at a local motel, and we got right to it even before she unpacked. Nothing imagine, just a real hot fuck on the bed. Those slim, tapered legs hadn't changed and her stomach was just as nice and soft and cushiony as I remembered. Maybe her tits were a tiny bit bigger, but I wasn't really noticing details like that. Just that her cunt was as hot and active as ever, and she could wiggle her ass and hump at the right moments. Hell, we didn't need to go to the dance. We were having a ball right there. Still, as she said, if a girl goes to all the trouble to select a brand new evening dress she wants to wear it where somebody beside a guy in bed with her can see it.
"Taking Eileen to the ball was the smartest move I made at college. And the saddest. I lost her. Not exactly lost her, but lost her as my exclusive property-if she ever was. Eileen was cute, little-sister cuddly cute, but she danced hot, so anybody could figure what was under that dress and that the girl inside was a real hot number.
"At the half-way mark, intermission, most of the live ones took off, heading for the frats or sorority houses, leaving only the real squares, guys and gals with glasses, filling up the floor.
"I wanted Eileen to go back to the motel, where we could have a private rematch, but three of the stags were kidding her into going to the fraternity house. We went, and I got Eileen off into a room with a couch in it. Those with regular beds were pretty well occupied, double deck.
"It didn't take long to get her out of that new dress. She didn't want it rumpled, so I hung it up, not too straight, since I was looking at Eileen naked, her hips swaying just a little. And got back to the real business of making love to those luscious little titties and that soft smooth stomach. I ran my fingers down the crease between her legs and pelvis and in to the lips of her cunt, hot and eager, already wet, since she'd been doing some vertical fucking on the dance floor.
"She was so ready she didn't want to waste any time on non-essentials. She just wanted my dong in her. I threw it into her cunt and she sighed happily and settled back for a good screw. She got it, because I was worked up myself, and not just from dancing with Eileen. Other girls dance hot, too.
"We had just finished and were lying relaxed and breathing deep when one of the stags busted in, said, 'Hi, there," and over his shoulder, 'Here she is.' Eileen huddled in on herself and then laughed, bracing her arms behind her so her breasts stood up, high and proud. "So you boys have been peeping! That timing was just too perfect."
"It turned out she was right. I hadn't known it, but we had been steered to that room because it has a two-way mirror where the guys can watch the performance of a newcomer and decide does she fit the Big Plan. As a frosh I didn't even know about the Big Plan. But I learned.
"Two other stags came in, looking over Eileen's assets and nodding. Ed, the first one, turned to me. "The lady would like some tea and sandwiches. Go fix it."
"I looked at Eileen and she shrugged. And grinned that impish little grin of hers. "I can handle anything that comes up," and twinkled at me. Ed shoved me toward the door. "Don't bother with clothes. No one else does."
"I found out he was right. Boys and girls were going from room to room stark naked. A couple of girls were in the kitchen, not a stitch on either of 'em. At first they didn't pay any attention to me, then one of 'em looked up. "Do you know how to . . . never mind. Boiling water isn't important."
"I guess suddenly seeing all those naked girls had really worked on my dong. It was up again, not much more than half-mast but rising. And as this girl swayed across the kitchen toward me, it stood up and saluted. She was older, maybe eighteen or so, with a dark bush of hair masking her cunt and her tits were really up there, like ripe melons. There was a lot of girl packaged in that outfit.
"She came up to me, swaying. Walked right into my chest and rubbed her cunt up against Old Faithful, which damn near made a geyser right there. With her tits rubbing up against my chest and her arms around me she walked backwards to a table. She wave a little hop and sat on it, opening her legs. "To hell with boiling water. Who needs tea at a time like this?" And sprawled out on the table, her legs dangling over, with my prick just topping her cunt. "Let's see if you're better than tea."
"So I screwed her, right on the table top. Was that girl ever active in the twat! It seemed to chew on me and suck and . . . Well, I figured there, at one time, she was going to take balls and all. She did get a load, a real hot load that I could feel explode way up her. And sighed.
"When my prick went down and slid out, the girl sat up and grinned sleepy-eyed at me. "Not perfect, but better than tea for what ailed me.' She slid off the table and kissed my cheek. "You've just been initiated. I hope your girl has done as well.' And swayed out, her hips working up and down. I don't know what happened to the other girl. I guess she wandered off.
"Then it struck me. My girl! Being initiated! I hurried back, forgetting about the tea and sandwiches. Not that it mattered. I'd used up the time fucking that odd girl.
"When I opened the door, Eileen was lying across the bed with a guy doing down on her cunt, lapping it up. She had another guy's prick in her hand, just about to suck him off. And looking dreamy-eyed and dopey when she smiled at me.
"No, she wasn't doped, except on sex. The frat brothers didn't allow dope-except maybe a little marijuana. They were hooked on sex. And any kind of dope takes the edge off sex.
"I wanted to fight somebody, screwing my girl, making her into a cocksucker. Eileen was my girl. Ed, the first stag, who loomed even over me, pushed me back. "She likes it, Bill. Don't interrupt her fun.' And leaned against me. "You've been tasting some of the fruit around here, too, so don't buck the trend."
"I slumped against the wall and watched Eileen get sucked off and then reamed while she was sucking off this other guy's prick-and liking it. And then Ed took his turn, screwing her. Or maybe it was seconds for him. Anyway, just watching all that fuck stuff made me horny again and when Eileen looked up, drowsy, half groggy, and said, 'Don't you want a round, Billy?'
I took her up. And screwed her, getting as much of a kick out of it as if she was fresh meat.
"And that was part of the Big Plan. Everybody screwed everybody. There weren't any 'my girl' deals around. Not after the 'initiation."
"That was my introduction to a real swinging crowd. And I've been at it ever since. That so-called 'orgy' your men raided was just a private party. Nothing like that frat deal, with maybe thirty to forty people involved. And my guess is I fucked at least seven of 'em that first night. I don't run to that number these days. And not very often. Oh, maybe once a week. I'm a working man, these days. In a highly competitive field. I have to be alert. Which reminds me. It's getting late and I need my sleep. Either book me and throw me-and my career-in a cell. Or turn me loose. At this point I'm too weary to care much which you do. Ten years of swinging takes it out of a man. I just need sleep."
Since part of Billy's sentence will most likely include treatment of some kind, it is likely that in time he may be more receptive to the help of a psychologist. It is hoped that the therapy will help him to find fulfillment in human relationships, regardless of whether they are homosexual or heterosexual. The experience of arrest and prosecution has at least given him an opportunity to reexamine his own behavior in a critical light.
CONCLUSION
No discussion of bisexuality would be complete without an acknowledgement of the fact that not all theorists in the area of human sexuality accept bisexuality as a valid concept. As we have seen, Kinsey's research has established that for most individuals, homosexual experience may occur at some point with varying significance in terms of the life history of the individual. This would seem to indicate that the possibility of bisexuality exists for nearly everyone.
However, there are some who refuse to accept bisexuality and maintain that the concept is used as a mask in order to avoid making responsible choices during a crisis in sexual identity. Representative of those who take this stand is Hendrik M. Ruitenbeek, who article "The Myth of Bisexuality" in Sexuality and Identity presents a somewhat different point of view.
Ruitenbeek discusses the fact that bisexuality cannot be considered an actual biological phenomenon, and quotes scientific authority to support his point. While there are some biological anomalies which defy definition, for the most part physiological bisexuality is indeed not a reality.
However, Ruitenbeek goes on to discuss bisexuality as a useless concept in terms of the psychosexual functioning of the individual:
In terms of sexual identity, the concept of bisexuality is more than outmoded, it may even be dangerous. For many patients cling to the concept of bisexuality in order to avoid coming to terms with their own sexuality. In an open society like ours, where it becomes increasingly difficult for the individual to wear a mask and where pressure for assertion of sexual identity is far greater than, say at the beginning of the twentieth century, confronting one's sexuality, whatever it may be, becomes a crucial matter.
Of course, it is ironic that Ruitenbeek uses the very phrase "whatever it may be," while at the same time setting up a rigid structure in which there are only two choices as to what it can possibly be. Ruitenbeek equates the concept of bisexuality with a confused sexual identity, and urges the necessity for commitment to a genuine sexual choice.
As we have seen, in a great many cases this may not be possible, nor is it necessarily desirable. The point for any individual, regardless of his sexual mode, is to become accepting and adjusted to that mode and to function effectively within it.
There is no valid reason why a commitment to bisexuality cannot be as effective and productive of happiness as a commitment to either heterosexuality or homosexuality. In addition, we have seen that the most recurrent pattern is for the individual to make different choices at different times in his life, depending on circumstances and psychological changes which can also be accepted with equanimity.
There is no necessity for individuals to make choices and commitments intended to last a lifetime in any other area, and there is no necessity for this kind of commitment in terms of individual sexuality.
Perhaps it would be most helpful if the labels of heterosexual, homosexual, and bisexual could be dispensed with entirely, and human behavior could be seen clearly as a continuum in which many choices are possible.
The fact that we are far from such acceptance in our legal and moral codes can only be taken as an indication of directions we might take in the future in revising our prevailing codes so that they are more consistent with our actual behavior.
In our particular culture the condemnation of homosexuality and hence bisexuality stems from Jewish prohibitions against mouth-genital contacts and homosexual activities found in the Talmud. The incorporation of Jewish sex codes into the Christian codes was brought about by early adherents of the church, many of whom had been raised in the Jewish tradition. The laws of the Church became the later basis for English common law, the statute laws of England and the laws of the various states of the United States. It is for this reason that many of our legal statutes are in close conformity with the Talmudic and Catholic codes which condemn homosexual activity.
Most of the states in the United States have laws prohibiting homosexual relations, and the penalties are frequently so severe that Kinsey in Sexual Behavior in the Human Female has commented:
There appears to be no other major culture in the world in which public opinion and the statute laws so severely penalize homosexual relationships as they do in the United States today.
Since our cultural traditions rest securely on a moral and legal framework which severely and unstintingly condemns the kinds of activities which bisexuals would experience, it is little wonder that the individual confronted with his own bisexual desires would to some extent question the health and adjustment of his personality.
However, it is useful to realize that scientific studies of human sexual behavior have revealed a natural and widespread tendency toward varying degrees of heterosexuality and homosexuality in balance within individuals.
It is to be hoped that further scientific studies can continue to clarify many aspects of human sexuality which have not yet been destroyed by codes of behavior which fail to take reality into account. It is in the best interests of all citizens that sex researchers study the actuality of behavior, rather than allowing cultural expectations to define their results.
For any individual confronted with the reality of a bisexuality which refuses to be rigidly categorized, we can only say that there are many precedents for such behavior and that healthy adjustment does not necessarily preclude much leeway in the choice of potential partners.
For teen-agers and young people, it is especially important to realize that experimentation and acting out of many different roles are a normal part of the growing up process. When such experiments can be undertaken without an accompaniment of guilt and anxiety, the results can far more likely be evaluated calmly and constructively.
In most cases where individual behavior departs in some way from the moral code, the decisive factor in evaluating such behavior is the subsequent reaction of the individual in terms of shame, guilt, anxiety and emotional disturbance. These negative consequences are less likely when the individual is familiar with scientific research which supports his normalcy.
