Some months ago a young man named Floyd Donneger brought us an unusual manuscript that had been written by a friend of his, Jim Felton. Mr. Donneger had just been released from prison and he told us to please take a look at what his cellmate, Jim Felton, had written and give him our opinion.
We loved it for its unusual candor and its provocative insights into the workings of a rapist's mind.
Jim Felton doesn't hesitate to editorialize on the "hypocritical games" of women and on quite a few other things, and though his views in no way reflect the publisher's views, we think you'll enjoy hearing a rapist "tell it like it is".
Therefore, we bring you "Confessions of A Rapist".
CHAPTER ONE
My name is Jim Felton and now that you're reading this I want to make it clear to you that I'm writing it in prison. You see, Floyd Donneger is getting out in a couple of weeks and he just told me this minute that if I finish this before he splits he's gonna take it with him. Said he's gonna show it to his friends, said if it's good he might even get it published for me. Floyd's got a lot of bullshit in him, but I want you to know that I'm pleased to meet any friend of Floyd's. Like I say, you must be one of his friends cause besides me and Floyd you'll be the only other person that'll ever read this thing. Published, shit, that Floyd.
Anyway, man, the reason I started writing this is because the shrink selected me as one of his favorite nuts. A few of us weirdoes were asked to write down a long rap about ourselves, about how we grew up into criminal monsters, how we got ourselves busted, etc. And I kinda like the idea of doing this writing cause he said by the time we were all finished that we'd be able to express ourselves much better. That's something I've never been able to do too well. It's not cause I'm not bright, you understand. I was a good student till I dropped out of high school, but I've always kinda been a loner. You know, a guy who doesn't mix too well cause most of the time he really doesn't feel at home.
It's funny, but this fuckin' prison is about the best home I've ever had. The only thing I really miss here is pussy, but otherwise you get fed and sheltered and if you feel like getting it together in your head you have all the time in the world to go ahead and do it. Maybe that sounds like a cop-out, you know, for me not to be angry about being locked up. Maybe it sounds to you like I don't have much balls but, dig it, man, I needed a rest. I mean my head was just fucked up, yessir, I was almost goin' crazy when I finally got busted.
I've had a chance to relax here and understand myself a lot better, but the one thing that really pisses me off is that the shrink keeps studying me like I'm some madman or pervert, just cause I'm a rapist. Christ, he keeps asking me why I have the compulsion to do this evil thing and all that shit. And I keep telling him that it's cause I like to beat up chicks and fuck 'em, but the dumb son-of-a-bitch can't even hear me. He thinks I'm a nut cause I don't smile and act civil. Well, if he were locked up for four years now and everybody outside the cages treated him like he was some shithead virus, then he might understand.
To hell with that asshole. Anyway, man, I got a light sentence for what I did cause I was so young. They gave me five-to-ten and since I haven't caused any trouble they already told me that I'll be released the day after I've spent five years in here. I don't know what the extra day is for, maybe the prison wanted to impress me with its massive power. Ha. Those chicken shit guards need a gun to go to the toilet.
So, anyway, my getting only five years means I'll be released in less than a year.
It's funny, I remember a picture of this penitentiary that I saw once in a government book in high school. The words underneath the picture described this place as a large penal institution in Northern California. But, during the night this goddamn tank turns into something else. And what it becomes is pure hell, baby.
Man, if I could only tell you how horny I get sometimes, and somehow come close to letting you know how it really feels in here. But I can't cause there are nights when my frustration is just indescribable. I'll let it go by saying that the darkness lets your mind think and you start dreaming and remembering and pretty soon you imagine a naked chick standing next to your bed and, man, it gets almost insane sometimes.
The thing that really taunts me though, is that I got my very first piece of ass practically walking distance from this prison.
See, when I was fifteen I lived right near here in a small farm town with my folks. My dad had already lost his first farm near Santa Rosa. Santa Rosa was like a big city compared to my new hometown forty miles south of it. The dinky little place was boring as hell, especially cause I was young and dying to get laid for the first time. Oh, there were a hundred or so girls, but in a town that small a chick would have to worship you to give you a piece of ass. Most of their parents were strict as hell. If it got to them somehow that their daughter had just lost her cherry, they'd probably beat her ass good.
Now, that's one thing that gets to me. If I rough up a chick they send me to jail. Disregard the fucking part of it for a minute and there's no difference between me slapping a chick or her daddy doing it. Since I've never met a chick who didn't want to fuck anyway, then why the hell am I in here?
Uh-uh. Let me cool myself a minute. I'm sorry for the bitter rap, man. I don't want to lay my troubles on you, I guess Pm just starting to get a little nervous. Like I said, I'll be out soon and its gonna be a big day.
So lemme get back to what happened. It's a trippy story cause when I was fifteen I still hadn't hit anybody yet in my whole life. There was only one person I knew who I had ever wanted to hit. Unfortunately for my head it was my own mother who brought out that urge in me. Sometimes I got so mad at her that I was sore-pressed to just stay in one spot and keep still while my father took all the shit that bitch had to give.
I loved my father for his easy going nature and his warmth and friendliness. I even feel I'm the same way down deep, but I've led a different life from what he lived and I'm a lot more silent than he was. The only time he was silent and humble was when my mom was yelling at him, otherwise you'd never think that he was afraid of her.
You might think that I've become a woman hater because of my mother and how I hated her, but man, even then I loved females. Especially this one chick, Susie Mills. I mean when that little girl walked down the street I stared at her ass like it was a miracle.
And it was, brother. Let me tell you that sweet young thing was as rich as cream, and cream was just what I was planning to give her.
I'd heard plenty about fucking in Santa Rosa but I was still a virgin. Not a willing one, though. I jerked myself off like crazy most every night, but I knew it would be nothing compared to the real thing. And then I saw Susie on my first day at the little high school. I was desperate to get laid and the sight of her juicy ass made my cock bulge in my corduroy pants.
It took me the whole last half of my freshman year to get to know her and I asked her to spend the first day of summer vacation with me when school let out. I was gassed when she said yes and I figured I was finally going to score my first beautiful little piece of tail.
But it didn't turn out that way. I spent over half the summer trying to ball that bitch and the way she carried on and screamed at me whenever I made a pass had me thinking I was some kind of animal or brute or whatever the hell else she called me. I mean no one had ever told me before that I was a lowlife and a sex fiend and all of those other things. I was so fuckin' young and stupid that I got embarrassed every time she put me down and actually thought that she really knew what the hell she was talking about when she said I was unnatural. I had no idea that she was lying to me about thinking sex was repulsive. I didn't hide what I wanted and so I figured she wasn't hiding anything when she told me she didn't want to do it with me.
Still, I kept on trying and then, one night purely by chance, I had my first look at sex. I had gone to the library to look up some hybrid alfalfas for my dad in the seed catalogue. I had a hell of a time concentrating on the names and prices and writing them down because Susie was on my mind and my prick was aching from the thought of her creamy young flesh. By the time I wrote down all the information my pop wanted, the library was closing already. Now it was pretty late, believe it or not nine o'clock was late for that town, and I started walking home.
I was walking through the countryside, taking a short cut home, when I suddenly got an idea. I was super hot that night and I decided to detour a few hundred yards over to the Mill's house and try and peek in Susie's bedroom window. I thought maybe I'd get to see her undressing if she went to bed as early as most people around there.
I cut through the woods quickly, hoping to catch myself a show and when I got to Susie's place I stole up slowly and quietly through the bushes. Even at that age I had the size and agility of a grown man and I prided myself on my careful maneuvering as I approached the backside of the house.
Then, as I got right up close just a few feet away, I heard these soft moans coming from a small high window a little ways over from where I judged Susie's bedroom window to be. I knew it must have been the bathroom and something was going on in there. I leaned my head against the outside wall and heard an incredibly sexy breathing and a bunch of words that I couldn't make out except for "fuck me". Man, those two words made me jump out of my skin. The only thing I could figure was that Mr. and Mrs. Mills were fucking in the bathroom. It sounded like Mrs. Mills was the one who was making all the exciting sounds, moaning and sighing in a sweet, yearning voice.
I was thrilled at the chance to see people really fucking and I decided the risk of getting caught was well worth what I'd probably see. I spotted a wooden orange crate nearby against the back of the house. I moved over towards it quietly and checked it out. It was empty and I carefully carried it back and placed it underneath the little window.
My heart was beating heavily and I held my breath as I climbed up onto the crate and peeked into the bathroom. What I saw almost made me stumble backwards and as soon as I recovered my balance I put my hand in my pocket and rubbed through the cloth at my hungry tool.
There she was, Susie herself, with her pajama bottoms down around her ankles and her flannel pajama top unbuttoned and wide open. I stared down at her soft thighs rhythmically squeezing together then flying apart as her finger thrust deeper into her unduLating pussy. Her free hand was fondling her firm white tits and squeezing her pointed pinkish-brown nipples.
I didn't even know that girls played with themselves like guys did. I thought males were the only ones who relieved their frustrations with make-believe love, but the sight of her fully-exposed charms and the way she bent over and fingered herself faster, then reclined back and masturbated slowly and luxuriously, was enough to convince me that Susie was incredibly horny and wanted to be fucked so badly that she had to finger herself in the bathroom.
Once I realized what she was doing with her finger I was struck with another obvious conclusion and my hand worked faster in my pocket. Goddam, she wanted to end her virginity just as much as I wanted to end mine. And, man if you think that got me excited you should have heard what she was saying out loud.
Every new word that came out of her dirty little mouth made my cock throb as I rubbed at its long hard length through the lining of my pocket. She sat there on the toilet with her face turned upward in ecstasy, her eyes closed tightly, moaning, "Fuck me, fuck me, ooohh fuck me cock aaaahhh in my pussy, fuck my pussy. Ooooohhh it's so hot mmmmmm hot hot hot, keep it in good aaaaaahh I can feel oh fuck hard pump Jimmy oooooohhhh do it, honey, fuck my sweet little twat, it's all yours, its aaaaahhh oh baby, don't stop, don't ever stop, just keep shoving it in my mmmm in me, inside, in me, sooooooo goooood soooo big and hot and hard ooooohhh yet you're as big as daddy, Jimmy, aaaaahhh I want to see daddy's cock now in the shower and I'm peeking in the window and watching him stroke it big and hot and hard and cloudy and pink and God, Jimmy fuck me with your cock aaaaaaaaaaaahhh screw screw screw screw aaauuugghh I'm going to FUCK ME! AAAAAAAAAHHH! IN ME! IN ME! OOOOHHH DAAAARLINNNGG I'MMMMMM CUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMMMMINNNNGG!! ! "
She rose right off the seat and her rounded thigh muscles were bulging as her ass was suspended a few inches above the toilet. I rubbed the underside of my hard-on and watched her crotch grow moist and damp with its little curly black pubic hairs glistening up at me and the lewd sight of her furiously pumping finger burning up my eyes.
I was nervous as I watched her. After all, I was standing out there in the cold on an orange crate, and though I sure grew a hard boner I didn't have time to make myself cum before she had already reached her beautiful climax. Now, I had to stop my rubbing suddenly and control my breathing as much as I could. She'd gotten off her load and was now silently wiping up her damp inner thighs and smooth lovely cunt with the pieces of toilet paper she was tearing off from the roll.
I waited and held my breath until I was sure she hadn't heard me breathing when her sudden silence had replaced her moans. She was cleaning up her pussy juices hurriedly and her cheeks were blushing as if she was embarrassed at all the time she must have spent in the bathroom. She stood up from the toilet and turned towards the bathroom door, bending over to pull up her pajama bottoms. Her luscious creamy buttocks stuck out naked towards me and, in the few seconds of excited exposure I was able to enjoy before her flannel bottoms were pulled up, I saw that her ass was even sexier than I'd imagined. Then the little brunette buttoned her top and walked to the bathroom door, opening it and then closing it behind her.
I jumped down from the window and ran off grinning towards my house. When I got home I handed my father the seed list and said goodnight to him and my mom one minute after I'd walked in the front door. I went to my room, closed the door behind me, then stripped down naked and jumped into bed. My senses were filled with a mixture of excitement over what I had seen and embarrassment about how I had been a peeping torn.
I rubbed my man-sized prick and thought of Susie's pussy rising and falling on the white porcelain seat. I thought what I had just seen and heard would have me jerking off all night, but somehow, try as I might I couldn't even get a hard-on.
I wondered what the hell was wrong with me, why I couldn't get an erection over what was surely the most exciting thing I had ever experienced in my life. Then a strange realization grew inside of me as the sound of her voice echoed in my mind. I had heard only icicles and bitchy expressions of shock every time I had ever made a pass at her. But tonight she'd moaned out my name in her dream-fucking paradise and she probably had been doing it every night while I jerked off all summer and hoped against hope that she would begin to like sex a little. A little! What a fucking little hypocrite! She wanted to fuck me so bad and all this time she'd been acting like a little frigid innocent angel or something.
I realized all the games Susie had been playing with me as I laid there in the dark and became angrier and angrier. I had accepted all of her bullshit as the truth and the cunt had been making a fool out of me every night on the toilet. I bristled with righteous rage that anyone could lie to me like that without even blinking an eye. Well, if I was an animal like she said then she was one also and a liar to boot. She didn't act much differently from the other girls at school either. They were all the same, acting as if they were so pure and unaware of anything like hornyness or masturbation. The only thing different about Susie was that she was prettier than the others.
I'd never had a girl or even a close friend in my whole life cause I was always so quiet, and you can imagine all the changes I had to put myself through in order to get up the courage to start hustling the bitch. I was furious, man. Right then and there my whole being revolted at the disgusting reality that women actually pretended to the other half of the world that they didn't have pussies and couldn't care less about a man's stiff prick. And all the time she'd been telling me that I was the perverted unnatural one! She was the twisted one, she was the one who couldn't be honest and open with me or even to herself.
Within only a few minutes I had gotten so mad that I thought I'd pop a blood vessel. And then the strangest thing happened. I noticed suddenly that my cock was pointed rigidly upwards and throbbing intensely. My mind had grown angry and my prick had grown along with it. I grabbed hold of it eagerly and stroked it smoothly, picturing my pillar in Susie's warm cunt. I was so ready that my jiz shot out of the head of my cock within only a matter of seconds. But those few seconds were as intensely real as anything I'd actually seen or heard earlier. It was that night, I think, when I first realized that from now on it was going to take something special to turn me on.
The next day was Saturday and I wasted no time. I woke up and got dressed quickly, then I groomed myself like some imagine stud with my hair cream and my father's after shave lotion. I sliced through breakfast, then ran out the door and walked briskly towards the Mills' house. I was determined to get Susie's cherry cause I deserved it. That girl owed me some genuine passion and I had the funny feeling that if I confronted her with what I saw with my own eyes and she still refused to warm up to me, I'd probably force her to do it with me. I had paid my dues and been the fool for long enough and now I was determined to collect the soft tight pussy I had earned with weeks of taking insults.
I covered the distance rapidly and was going up the steps onto Susie's front porch by a quarter to nine. I was feeling out of sight and then, just as I was about to knock, I saw something unbelievable through the small window in the front door and it made my hand freeze and stop cold in mid-air.
There on the couch was none other than Mrs. Mills, Susie's mother. My eyes focused on what she was doing with disbelief. It was the same lewd habit that I had watched her daughter enjoying just last night. Only it seemed mother was in a different position-she was on her knees with her dress pulled up just above the round silky cheeks of her ass, and in place of a finger she was moving a wrapped frankfurter-sausage in and out of her sucking dripping cunt. She moaned as her soft white ass swung up and down, mimicking her swollen frantic twat by squeezing its plump juicy cheeks tightly at the make-believe penis' cuntward thrust.
God, she was so full and earthy with those soft smooth ample curves and a long sexy dark crack opening wide and grinding closed between the bountiful honeyed flesh of her buttocks. I wasn't nervous this time. Shit no, I wanted to see it all, watch the naughty fuck fantasies of a mature grown woman being lewdly enacted right there on the couch. It was getting wilder and wilder to actually witness this beautiful woman fucking herself, especially now that she'd lifted the hand that didn't hold the sausage to perform a filthily electrifying, exotically different kind of masturbation; plunging a twitching middle finger between her buttocks, into the long sweet crevasse of her rear, and finally deep inside her greedily contracting asshole.
I blessed my luck, realizing that today was the regional 4-H meeting. That meant that Susie and her dad must have driven the forty miles to Santa Rosa, and that the big sexy woman who was fucking herself rapidly in two holes at once knew that she would be alone for a long time. Maybe she'd go on for hours, maybe she'd do even dirtier stuff if there could be anything more erotic than a grown woman masturbating with a finger also buried up her ass.
Suddenly, my good luck changed to bad as I stood there musing on how Mrs. Mills came to be alone and what secret delights she might have in store for me to watch. In my lewd reverie I had taken my eyes away from the little window for a long moment. Now, as I looked back, I saw her face glaring at me through the window and heard the door handle being turned.
I tried to run but almost instantly she had me by the ear and was dragging me back across the threshold.
She pushed me inside the house angrily, slammed the front door behind her, and pointed her finger at me, screaming indignantly, "Why Jimmy Felton, you damn little peeping torn, you!"
She grabbed my ear again, almost ripping it off, and continued her heated lecture. "I ought to call your folks right now! Why of all the indecent disgusting things!"
Suddenly I went white with rage. No cunt alive, young or old, was going to blame me for being myself ever again; not when her fucking hypocrisy was so obvious. Impulsively, I ripped her hand from my stinging ear and threw her arm back so hard that she fell off balance and landed prone on the carpet.
I was blinded with lust at the sight of her laying there frightened on her back. Her dress had bunched up when she'd fallen and her naked swollen pussy was sparkling up at me between her incredibly lush trembling thighs.
The next thing I knew I had dropped my pants and was rubbing my quivering erection. God, was she beautiful. And I was going to fuck her, I was actually going to cum inside my first smooth hot squeezing cunt.
She looked at me horrified and reached to pull down her dress, but in an instant I was on top of her, pinning her down and feeling my cock lose its head exhilaratingly in a jungle of black curly cunt hair.
She clawed at me and begged, "No!"
But, baby, nothing was going to stop me and with one movement of my loins I felt my bursting prick sliding into her well-lubricated pussy. I almost blacked out with pleasure as I felt the moist seething heaven of her silken inner flesh mold itself to every inch of my madly pumping cock. I had never dreamed it would feel so good and I drove it up all the way to the hilt and embraced her smooth ass roughly with my sweating hands. I felt her hot tight vagina sucking in slow ripples of satiny skin all around my hard staff and squeezing every inch of me in convulsive voluptuousness.
She was responding now and her naked fanny clenched its creamy cheeks under my hands as she moved sensuously, pumping up at me in a slow hypnotic rhythm. Oh, god, she was too much, so wonderfully soft and warm and smooth. I pumped my boiling penis like a battering ram into the velvet sheath of her tingling massaging snatch and then I felt her legs lifting and her thighs wrapping around my flanks in eager womanly submission.
I knew she was going crazy because of the way her body writhed under the spell of my attacking cock and I felt my balls fill with a dizzying heat as I heard the first of her sweet phrases, heard my first woman telling me what it felt like to have my hot young rod buried in her wildly sucking cunt. I felt incredibly powerful and my stiff prick echoed my feeling as I fucked her insanely and listened to her throaty voice.
She was moaning heavily, "Oooooohhh, Jimmy, baby, shove it, shove it aaaaaaaahhh God, you're sooooooooo goooooood, baby. Mmmmm, angel cock, fuck me daddy, fuck me aaaaaaaaahhh sweet juicy prick, yeeeeesssss, yeeeeeessssss cum, cum inside me, cum goooooooooood shoot it, shoot it. Oooooooohh feel it, feel it, feel it, feel it. Aaaaaaaaauuuuugghh now now aaaahhh, ooooohhh!! ! "
Suddenly my hot cream roared up out of my balls and erupted out the head of my cock like a steaming geyser deep up inside her screaming twat. I shot the last of my load with a blissful pleasure, then felt myself start shrinking inside her soaking cunt and knew I'd get hard again within minutes if I just rubbed myself and stared at her deliciously smooth and moistly swollen cuntal lips.
This was the first time I had ever thrown a woman down in anger. The nerve of her to call me indecent with a sausage in her hand! I had sure shown her. And now, as she bent before me and renewed my cock with the strange new thrills of her hot wet tongue, I knew that the time would come again when I would have to "show" a woman.
CHAPTER TWO
I never got another chance to fuck Susie's mother. That's the kind of luck I have, man. Later that same day when I got home I was told that we were going to have to move again.
My dad sat with me at the kitchen table and explained the situation to me in a hollow tone of voice. "You see, Jimmy, you're old man keeps messing things up. We're even going to have to sell this meager spread we got here. I'm just not bringing in enough money, son, and well, I'm going to have to give up farming. Yeah, after all these years. I don't want to do it but I've got a job offer in San
Francisco and after all, we have to eat somehow."
I had been sitting there, feeling sorry for my dad and wishing he would stop blaming himself for rotten luck and bad crops. Then he'd dropped the words "San Francisco" like a loaded bomb and my mind surged with expectation and the need to confirm or deny if it was really true that I was finally going to get to see the big city by the great foggy bay to the south.
My face lit up and I asked him eagerly, "Pop, you don't mean that we're actually going to move to San Francisco, do ya?"
He smiled warmly and he answered me with a soft laugh, 'That's right, Jimmy. Yeah, I thought you'd get a kick out of it. It's a pretty exciting place, especially if you're young like you. For me, you know, its just a loser's game full of busted farmers; but for you, well, if you're anything like I was at your age, then It'll be the most fascinating place you've ever been."
My mind was racing at the prospect of finally being where all the action was and I asked him delightedly, "Hey pop, we gonna live in a place on top of a hill with a view of the bay?"
He answered me a little solemnly, "W-well, we'll see son. Right now things are a little tough money wise and we may have to sort of take whatever we can get. But don't you worry now. I'm sure everything will be much better for us in the city."
I wasn't worrying a bit and no one had to tell me things would get better in San Francisco. I was going somewhere where there were more chicks than I had ever seen before and I contemplated all of that big city pussy just walking by for the choosing and kissed farming goodbye forever.
The next few weeks were really rough for me and my dad. Under the pressures of packing and tying up all the loose ends we hardly had any time to relax at all. I never even saw Susie or her sexy mother again. My own fuckin' mother kept me too busy scrubbing the dairy pails so we could sell them for fifteen cents apiece and hosing down the driveway so the dust didn't dirty the eggs and make them worth a penny less cash money.
And all the time I was breakin' my balls and doing those bullshit chores I had to endure the twisted scene that was always happening when mom wanted something of pop. Time and again I watched my father shuttling boxes about and taking orders from my constantly upset mother. Occasionally he would come in with some favorite memento he had found out in the barn and ask her to pack it in with their special things.
And, every single time, my mother stared coldly at my dad and said, "Listen, Frank, it was your decision to sell this place, I only advised you. But now when the time comes to sell everything you want to hang on to your souvenirs of farming. Sell them, Frank, they're just souvenirs of failure. Once I get to the city I can live like any normal, decent woman and not have to smell your filthy body when you get home from the fields. There's no acres covered with manure and broken down barns where we're going. Don't bring any reminders, if you please."
And that's the way it always was. Momma said her piece and got her way. But her getting her way wasn't what bugged me. It was the methods she used to get what she wanted. She would chop away at my father until he was two feet high and cowering to keep from getting stepped on. I knew there was a lot about my parents that I didn't understand, things that smelled like old wounds from festering for so long, but I knew that no matter what secret justification my father had for keeping his mouth shut, the whole scene between them was terribly sick and he must have known it too. I just couldn't understand why my old man took all that shit from his wife. I remember feeling sure that if she was anyone but my own mother I would have kicked her in the mouth by then.
A few weeks later I explored the streets of my new home and was afraid of getting kicked in the mouth myself. My father was right when he had said we might have to take whatever we could get. What we'd gotten was a run-down flat on the upper floor of a crumbling house in the Mission district.
It was the oldest and roughest part of the city and man, let me tell you, I kept myself as inconspicuous as possible. It was ironic how I'd thought
I might not feel like a loner in San Francisco. I figured with that many people in one place I'd be able to gradually learn how to talk to people out of necessity.
Now that I had moved in I immediately saw that the necessity was to do the exact opposite and not talk to people. I realized that I'd stay out of trouble easily enough if I just followed my natural inclination and kept to myself. It was a shock to see Mission Street for the first time and realize that the only way to survive in the crowd was to stay alone.
Of course, the crowd I'm talking about is maybe a bit different from what your idea of average neighbors might be. But then, since you're a friend of Floyd's you could maybe be a con too. In that case, you'll know just what kinda people I'm talking about.
There were more pimps than cops and everyone knew right out in front where you went to get a massage and a blowjob or who to call to have a projector, screen, and hour-long skin flick delivered by an accommodating young woman. But that was for guys with money, you know, bookies and strong arm men and sometimes a lonely longshoreman who had saved up his bread to buy a girl and a dirty movie so he could run the girl at a speed that would burn out the projector.
But me, I couldn't afford any of the tantalizing experiences that were being constantly hustled and bartered all around me. I'd walk by the whorehouses with my imagination just torturing the hell out of me. What were the women like inside? Like Mrs. Mills, maybe? I thought about her every night and it always made me jerk off. She was the only real sexual experience I had yet enjoyed, and I cursed myself for not trying to sneak away and throw her a quick fuck before I moved to San Francisco, when I still had the chance. But no, I was sure I'd have a new chick every week when I got to the city. Shit, I hadn't been able to make a move.
It was all so new and strange and I have to admit I was kinda scared. I wasn't afraid of anyone my own age or guys even three or four years older. Like I say, I grew big when I was still just a kid and I was fairly fast on my feet besides. But when I first saw the ruins of the young men who had grown up on Mission Street I was struck with fear. They were always around, guys in their early twenties who had dropped out of Mission High years ago but had already dropped out of society at an even earlier time in their empty lives. Truth is I don't think most of them ever dropped out of anything. They were probably never allowed in to begin with.
A lot of these desperate looking doorway leaners and curb sitters were Mexican guys. A good deal of 'em couldn't even speak English. Those guys looked like the most lost, the most willing to rob someone of enough bread to go see a hooker and feel accepted by the lewd ritual of a universal language. Everyone thought they were dumb because they failed grammar school tests given in English, and their Latin sense of honor made them blaze angrily at indifferent Anglos with an inner Spanish fire.
Luckily I managed to avoid creating any bad feelings in my hardened neighbors. I avoided everyone religiously, the Blacks, the Chicanos, the Chinese and Russian longshoremen. But still I never felt quite safe on the street. I was sure that poverty-stricken dirt farmers were the smallest minority in that community of minorities. I knew that all the different colors and nationalities and languages all shared the common ghetto burden. Namely, when you're trying to hang on and survive you see every stranger as a threat cause you've been fucked over so many times.
And I always felt that a big California farm boy like me looked like a sore thumb in a neighborhood of racial minorities. Before I finally settled down after a month or so, I couldn't shake the notion of what would happen if Fernando Suarez and his gang encountered me on the street some day and decided to have some fun beating me up; or if the Black pusher, Lightfoot, would someday come up to me and tell me to sniff the heroin or lose a finger. I saw the haunted looks of the junkies and understood for the first time that the natives of this district became addicted because heroin was no more violent or insane than the everyday world in which they lived. It was just another trip to them, one more bag that you got into and enjoyed as much as you could. If it happened to kill you to shoot dope, well, still it was a hell of a lot more enjoyable than cleaning toilets forty-eight hours a week.
After a while, when I understood the way people's heads worked in the Mission, I stopped having my romantically paranoiac fears of being killed by a gang or something and walked the streets freely. The one thing I was still naggingly afraid of was that a Chicano or a Black or a Chinaman might catch me staring at one of their women-a ripe black woman walking by with her naked full ass bouncing under a white cotton dress or Fernando Suarez' beautiful sister, Lupe, with the firmly rounded soft brown flesh of her breasts half-exposed and glowing in a low-cut blouse.
Man, did I dig that chick. I mean she just made my cock vibrate like a tuning fork. She was packed full of spicy meat and as quiet as she was, I knew her maturely beautiful body was wildly hungry inside. She was the only chick I'd seen at Mission High who was a woman for sure and still a girl only so far as chance mannerisms. It was exactly the opposite with the other chicks at school, they pretended they were women but they were still girls for sure.
Lupe sat next to me in my Math class at Mission High. That's how I met her and I knew the minute she walked in the door that I would do my damndest to get into her pussy. When she sat down next to me, establishing the possibility that she might like me, I had a hell of a time trying not to stare right at her all during the long class period.
She seemed to radiate some kind of feminine heat or brain wave cause she had me hypnotized sometimes before she had even walked into the classroom. I just sensed that she was about to come in the door and a moment later she would walk in, more often than not flicking a quick glance in my general direction.
But how could I come on to her without making a fool out of myself. Lupe was a Mexican, and Mexicans and whites rarely even talked to each other, let alone made love with each other. The imagined beauty of Lupe replaced the fading charms of Mrs. Mills in my wishful fantasies. She was certainly beautiful enough for me to attempt the risk of being rejected by her as a man; but if she rejected and resented a pass because I was an Anglo, she might easily cause trouble for me with her brother, Fernando or other young Latin studs eager to defend her honor. She was excruciatingly tempting but I knew she came from a different and hostile world and that was something that I didn't know if I'd be able to risk trying. I spent the whole remainder of the semester going crazy watching the outside of her left thigh flex and relax as she bounced one folded leg over the other beneath the desk.
Finally the last day of the semester came and I sat there next to her, concentrating my whole being on not blurting out something stupid to her. I was desperate cause I still didn't know how to come on at all and now I had exactly ten minutes left before the bell rang and I lost my last chance to create any tie with the lovely Latin maiden. I decided that it was hopeless but if I could have had the courage I might have handed her a note or something, and then I suddenly realized that I was getting out a piece of paper to muse on what I might have written to her. Shit, I could still do it, there was still time. Impulsively, I write: "Lupe, I think you're really fine. Can we get together some time? Jim."
The next thing I knew I'd handed it to her and she was unfolding the slip of paper to read my message. I turned my head away from her towards the row of windows so I wouldn't have to look her in the eye when she read it. Then I suddenly heard the final bell of the semester and turned back around to try and detain her somehow before she split. But she wasn't hurrying away. She was smiling at me and handed me back the little slip of paper with a glint of interest in her eye. I looked at it and saw her phone number just as big as day and night. Needless to say, I was even more delighted when she told me to call her right after school cause both her parents would be at work and she'd be able to talk freely.
When I got home a half hour later I called her immediately and she answered on the seventh ring. I made a date with her for the next day, Saturday afternoon, the first day of summer vacation.
The next day we had to meet secretly at 16th and Mission because we both knew her strict parents would never let her be alone with a big young white farmboy like me. We sat across the aisle from each other on the bus, pretending we didn't know each other, and I couldn't stop my head from buzzing with excited thoughts. I knew that if she was willing to go through all of these hassles for me, like smuggling a picnic lunch out of her house and playing like a cool stranger with me on the bus and so on. that she must be pretty interested in me. It was turning into an exciting adventure because I knew she couldn't help also feeling a thrill at all the elaborate precautions we were going through just to sneak off together somewhere. We really didn't know each other yet but she was obviously just as curious about me as I was about her. I could only hope that the focal point of her curiosity was located underneath my zipper; and the distinct possibility that it made me even more curious in turn about what it would feel like to shove my big hot prick into Lupe's youthfully tender yet fully developed and ripe body.
We got off at Market Street and stood at a casual distance from each other on the concrete island, waiting for the right trolley. Ten minutes later we both boarded the N. Judah Line car and I sat behind her all the way to Golden Gate Park, with my cock twitching in anticipation, staring at the back of her head, admiring her long dark hair, and trying to beam sweet intimate desires from my brain into hers.
The trolley let us off at the park and I followed her across a green meadow half-crowded with weekend nature lovers. As soon as she had penetrated ten or fifteen feet beyond the far edge of the meadow and was walking amongst the concealing woods and ferns I caught up to her and smiled excitedly. Her white teeth flashed out between her full open lips as she answered my smile with one of her own, one that seemed to say she enjoyed sharing a secret with me. I was hoping she'd enjoy something else, too.
After twenty minutes of impatient exploration I found a small remote clearing totally encircled by shady trees. We sat down and Lupe laid out the tortillas and frijoles she had packed for our picnic. This chick was the genuine article, baby. She led a strictly traditional Mexican family life at home, but there was something wild and unusual in her, a streak of wicked rebellious hunger that was anything but strictly moralistic or carefully cultivated by her parents. Lupe was a unique female at fifteen and if they'd kept her locked in a wrought iron tower I was sure she'd have managed to escape it anytime she chose to. She was an individual, determined to do what she wanted to do, and once again I hoped that what she wanted to do involved naked skin and lustful ecstasy.
I waited until after we had finished eating our delicious lunch and then, as she stood up to stretch, I stood up also and made my play. As my arm went around her waist and my awkward kiss pushed against her soft lips, I started grinding my groin against her crotch.
Suddenly, she shoved me back, putting a deep scratch in my arm. She stared at me with a spirited fire in her dark haughty eyes and she spat out at me, "so that's what you're like, you big dumb gringo pig."
I flared red at her self-righteous indignation and grabbed her by the shoulders. My voice was heated and choking with anger as I screamed at her, "dumb! You cunt! After I let you copy off my quizzes all semester. Don't deny it, bitch, cause I know you did, I saw you!"
I was shaking her by the shoulders now and the top of her sweet firm breasts trembled and heaved below her lovely frightened face. 'That's not all I saw either, cunt! What about all the times I watched your thighs begging and squeezing for some cock. You're a fucking little phony."
I threw her down on the grass in my rage and suddenly felt how my cock was pushing against my fly. She lay there in shocked amazement her richly dark complexion turned pale with fear as I freed my straining prick to jump out hot and throbbing into the cool twilight air.
Before she could scream out I was down on top of her with my hand over her mouth. My cock was jerking about crazily in mid-air as I stared down at her fear contorted silenced face and spoke my piece. "So you think I'm a dumb gringo, huh baby? Well I can play that same narrow game too, ya know. I hear you little hot-pants beaner girls have nicely shaped tits. What do you say we find out?"
I planted my knees on either side of her slim waist and smiled luridly, then I ripped down the top of her pale blue dress and gasped a sharp intake of breath at the sight of her high firm exotically dark-fleshed boobs. Her swollen nipples rode high on her warm moist breasts and their huge stiffened size and dark brown color made my senses whirl.
Her eyes were wild, excited and frightened. I couldn't wait any longer to finally feel her smooth dewy-fresh skin and I thrust my rock hard cock between her tits and slid it up and down in her sweet cleavage, bringing its massive purplish head almost up to her small curved chin and then back down again in the silken cleft between her soft satiny mounds. Her translucently smooth skin was as tender and soft as a baby's ass and I pumped my cock savagely in the sweating gorge between her creamy boobs.
Lupe went crazy under the pounding rhythm of my maddened prick. She pushed her breasts together tightly, massaging my hot staff with her aching flesh and I felt my cum gathering down in my balls as she moaned out a stream of imploring obscenities. "Ooooooohhhh its soooo hot, burning my sssskkkkiiiiiinn, feel my tits aaaaaaahhhh Dios, feel my tits squeeeeeeezzzzzziinnnnnnnggg mmmmmm soooooo huuuuuuge. Aaaaaaaaaahh cream daddy, cream, gimme gimme gimmeeeeee!! ! "
She reached up and took my hand, placing it on one soft swollen breast to hold it in place against my wildly pumping rod. Then she moved her freed hand down to clutch and rub at her screaming pussy. Fingering her frantically twitching cunt madly, she lifted her head from the ground and craned her soft neck to stare totally absorbed at the bursting head of my large pinkish lance.
Her forehead was beaked with sweat and her eyes were opened wide and shone moistly with awestruck erotic joy at the sight of my bloated mushroom cap. Her voice came out with a high wheezing breathless animal urgency, "cum, Jimmy, crrrreeeeaaamm lover cock, cum, cummm noooowww, cuuuuuuuuuummmmmmm!! ! "
In the next instant my entire being exploded and my boiling jiz shot out all over her flushed face. She licked my warm cum slowly off of her cheeks, laughing gleefully at the taste of my masculine nectar and fingering herself incessantly.
Well, since she liked the taste of my cum so much, I knew I shouldn't deny her a long satisfying drink of it and I rose upwards and shoved my half-shrunken, ready to rise again prick past her full open lips and into her deep sweet mouth.
By the time she finally swallowed my second hot load it was already dark.
CHAPTER THREE
From then on until the middle of my junior year, it was Lupe and me all the way. She wasn't the kind of chick you could describe by a term like hot as a chili pepper or Delores Del Rio sweetheart or any of those hokey bullshit stereotypic ways of looking at a fine Latin fox.
No Lupe was something special, you know what I mean, man? You remember your first steady fuck, hour-long sessions with new positions and maybe her tits were so huge or her ass was so creamy, like an extra bonus just for being alive and being in the right place at the right time to have first met your sweet little hunk of woman.
Yeah, well, that's what Lupe was like. Only the extra bonus wasn't just a nice behind or a smooth tight pussy. It was the whole woman, baby. She was so fine that I used to have her lay on the mattress in the back of this truck I had and just close her eyes and move around real sexy like while I watched her naked body doing its thing. And I do mean her body had its own thing, an independent deeply primitive power. And the way her eyes used to flash in a chocolate burst of light when she first felt me going inside, the way her pussy used to suck like the outgoing tingling current of an erotic ocean, greeting my bloated welcome staff with a sucking undulating wave of pleasure.
I was hooked on Lupe so bad for awhile that I needed her to suck me off every night or I couldn't get to sleep. That was right in the beginning during those first sweet weeks together. We both managed to get out of the house every evening on some excuse. I should say Lupe managed, because I didn't have to make up any excuses. My mother didn't give a fuck and my father was pouring himself down a bottle. I could come and go as I pleased, although I only took pleasure in the going.
My home life was falling apart and it was frightening to see it happen. My mom and dad were destroying each other, one actively and the other passively, and it all seemed to be hopeless and inevitable, like some clock you couldn't turn back.
And I was the poor son of a bitch that was born to bear witness to it all.
It was no wonder that I was tremendously down a lot of the time and really confused about who the hell I was and why I had to go through that shit. It was all the beginning of a rough time for me and though it would get rougher there would be sweet ecstasies along the way also.
And right then ecstasy was a little five-foot-four Aztec goddess. Man, I mean goddess because as far as I was concerned I'd have given her all my time just to be her loving disciple. For two weeks in a row the hour that the sun went down was a signal for me to get myself into grubby clothes and try not to jerk off so that Lupe could always taste my freshest load.
We would meet in the park and I would recline back against a eucalyptus tree or a smooth boulder and revel in the delights of Lupe's warm sucking mouth. She had a natural expertise with her lewd flicking tongue and her deep smooth mouth, but much more than that, she wanted to do it for me. She wanted to do it so bad once on the way back to the Mission that we went into an alley and she got down on her knees and almost blew the head of my cock off with electrifying sensations. Man, it was so good to see her broad angelic face in a trance, her eyes closed and her mouth open around my buried penis. There were cats fighting and screeching down at the other end of the alley and an unduLating siren speeded nearby, but Lupe was lost to the world and, God, so was I. Her full soft lips girded the width of my prick like a bobbing massaging ring of fire clinging around my cock. She sucked me like that for minutes on end until I finally poured a gallon of semen into her thirstily sucking mouth.
Course, I wanted to fuck Lupe too but she made me promise not to fuck her until we could do it on a nice soft mattress. You can bet your ass I did a lot of mattress shopping those couple of weeks. I knew what kind I wanted too-a portable one. It didn't matter if it was imagine or second hand just as long as I could take it with me and Lupe wherever we wanted to go.
That's when I bought my '36 Chevy panel truck and fixed it up into a real pussy palace. I'd been working an after school job at a record shop for about eight months and I'd known the minute Lupe told me she wanted a mattress just how I'd be spending the money I had saved up. After I checked out the truck and bought it, I got a used sterilized mattress from a thrift store on Mission Street. I cleaned out the floor of my truck and covered it with red velvet then I got an old soft pink satin sheet from another thrift store and put it on the mattress. Then I centered the mattress in the middle of the red velvet floor. My mom was giving away some rags to her favorite charity, The Prohibitionist Party, and I spotted some old gingham curtains and claimed them for myself. They had big red checks on a white background and I thought they looked kind of freaky so I decided to use them in the truck. I hung them inside, covering the rear window, and I hoped that Lupe would appreciate the sheer absurdity of them as much as I did.
I figured I was finished fixing up my truck and I called Lupe and told her to meet me downtown at eight o'clock.
Her mind was really blown when she realized it was me honking the horn for her from the parked truck. She jumped in delightedly and said excitedly, "Wow, Jimmy, I'm sorry I took so long to answer your honking. I thought you were a masher or something."
I cupped my hands on her firm covered breasts and whispered wickedly, "I am, honey."
She pulled away giggling and said, "You can suck them later, Jimmy, if you want to. Now, why don't you tell me who you stole this truck from."
I answered triumphantly, "Nobody, baby. I bought it myself. Fixed it all up for you, too. Why don't you turn around and take a look in the back?"
She turned and a temptingly aroused look filled her exotic profile. Then another look I didn't recognize came over her momentarily, a worried defensive look. But that vanished too and she threw her arms about my neck and sighed, "Oh Jimmy.
Baby, I think it's just beautiful. I even like those funny curtains in the back. Just think. We don't have to freeze in the park to be alone anymore."
I chucked her under the chin affectionately and then started up my truck. We drove out of the city and cruised south on the old Bay shore Highway. Maybe my truck couldn't go on the regular freeway, but it certainly had other advantages.
By the time we were a mile out of the city Lupe had pulled my pants down to mid-thigh level and was playing with my naked prick lovingly while she stared at it and stuck her hand down her panties to play with herself dreamily.
Man, I felt like a million bucks. Even though things were bad at home I seemed to be getting it together just fine in my own personal way of life. I not only had a beautiful female who adored my pecker, but now I even had wheels to take her wherever I wanted to go and play with her to my heart's content. It was so nice to feel her knowing palm around my cock as I drove leisurely along, so nice to glance over and see her masturbating yearningly over the sight of my big glistening penis. We were so tuned in to each other, it was really paradise. She instinctively knew I didn't want to cum yet and she stroked my cock accordingly with just enough sensuous massaging pressure to keep it up and ready, and the sensitivity and control to rub it slowly and keep my prick from boiling over. It was such a luxurious sensation, to be jerked off not for the purpose of cumming but just because she and I both loved to have her holding it and drooling over it while she fingered herself. It was exhilarating to have the freedom to even masturbate together as much as we wanted to. It was so naughty and wild and free. I could drive right down Market Street if I wanted to and just reach over and finger her pussy whenever I chose. But tonight I was going to give her pussy a lot more meat than anyone's playing finger provided, tonight I was finally going to fuck my little Lupe. Jesus, I was liking just her hand-job so much that I was sure I'd never be able to get enough of her little snatch once I tried it.
I kept driving till I reached the hills around Palo Alto and I put it in low and climbed up a secluded little road. I reached an isolated turn off inside of a few minutes and I pulled off the dark dirt road.
As soon as I turned off the motor, Lupe went down on me, sucking my balls and jerking me off with increasing intensity. Her mouth bathed my hairy scrotum in its warm wet inner cavern and her tongue licked against the wrinkled skin of my sac with tiny spiraling motions. As she sucked rhythmically on my balls, both of her hands sculpted my cock with achingly erotic perfection. I looked down and could see my balls lost beyond her generous lips and vanishing into her wet working mouth. Her eyes stared greedily at my cock as I pumped it slowly up and down through her massaging grasp only inches in front of her lovely face.
Her mouth liberated my sizzling balls and moved slowly, licking up the length of my cock until she reached its tip and swallowed my broad pulsating knob of phallic flesh.
I knew her mouth and her hand could make me cum beautifully whenever I wanted, but my mind was blazing over the thought of her unexplored pussy. She'd kept me in a cloak of mystery long enough. I pumped my cock yearningly even deeper into her already crammed mouth as I reached under her skirt and pulled down her white panties.
Suddenly she drew her mouth and her hand from my eager penis and moved further away from me across the seat. I had no idea what was wrong and I suppressed an angry notion that she was playing some game with me. After all, this was Lupe, the girl who loved my prick so much that she had to suck it at least once a day to feel at all satisfied. Maybe she was sick or something.
I asked her in a kind tone, "Hey, what's wrong with you honey? You feeling okay?"
She looked up at me for an instant and then hung her head in silence again, with that same worried look on her face that I'd noticed back in the city.
I was starting to get bugged at her silence. My erection had shrunken to half its size and I couldn't understand why I had to sit there with my pants down and stare at her while she maintained a tense silence. I cooled myself and figured how I could give her still another chance to say what was on her mind. After all, the chick had been pretty good to me and I was willing to concede that there could be exceptions to the general female rule and she might somehow not be playing a game with me. But I knew my tolerant frame of mind couldn't last much longer. I couldn't stand indirectness as it was and her mysterious silence was getting more and more tiring every second. I decided to try humor as a last resort.
I smiled at her and asked tongue in cheek, "Listen, you didn't pick up the clap from a wino in the Mission, did ya?"
She glared at me and answered in a very angry voice. "Ha! Ha! Very funny."
That did it. The little cunt was getting snotty to me after I'd had the decency to try and understand her reluctance to complete the evening. No more games.
I cupped her chin in my hand and pulled her roughly to face me directly, then I said, "Okay now. No more bullshit, baby. I want to know what this trip of yours is about, and I want to know right now!"
She looked at me desperately and then weakly admitted the truth. "I'm a virgin, Jimmy."
Jesus Christ! My hand dropped from her chin and I stared at her in shocked disbelief. I could feel my prick surging upwards into a brutally large weapon as my anger simmered, then fumed, then blossomed until my mind bordered on rage.
She tried to appease me and spoke in a half-pleading, half-sexy tone. "Please, Jimmy. It's important to me. I'll do anything else you want, anything at all, but--. "
I grabbed her by the hair and screamed, "I break my ass to get this truck so I can fuck you like you deserve, and first you tell me the well-kept secret that you've never been laid, then you turn moral on me! Who the hell do you think you're playing with, cunt?"
I pulled sharply on her long hair and snapped her head back. A wonderful sense of power enveloped me as I slowly unbuttoned her blouse. She struggled with me but I pulled open her blouse till it slid back off of her smooth shoulders, then I unsnapped her black lace brassiere and tore it off of her.
I stared at the ripe melons of her naked bosom for a moment, then I plunged my head forward and started sucking and biting her nipples. I knew I was hurting her good with my teeth cause she tried desperately to pull away from me. But I held on and bit down hard on the gigantic stiffly-pointed nipple I had captured in my mouth. I heard her scream and tasted a warm salty rush of blood in my excited mouth.
My free hand hitched up her red cotton shirt and bunched it up high above her waist. I stared down at the sweet olive-colored skin on the taut mound of her belly. Oh, was it going to be pretty, was it going to be fine. Without any further adieu, I pulled down her panties until they rested around her delicate ankles.
With the motion of bending over to drop her undies, my grip was loosened on her hair and now, before I even realized what was going on, she hit at me sharply and managed to pull away from me.
She was turned away from me, facing the car door on her side and shaking with fear. The poor girl made only one mistake. With the bottom of her skirt still cast up around her lithe upper torso, the motion of turning away on her side caused her naked luscious ass to be fully exposed to my enraptured view. She was so scared that she didn't even realize what a tempting target she had made herself into. As long as I live I'll never forget that delightful first look at her well-endowed buttocks, the cheeks were so high and lovely, bountiful and hungry for a cock to come and slide up and down between their massaging baby soft mounds. The long deep gorge between her lush buttocks was dark and glistening, moist and inviting.
I felt the few silken strands of hair that had been left in my grasp when she'd pulled away from me. They were so feminine, so pliant and soft. I stroked my cock and stared at the cascading fall of hair that dropped from her head to perhaps only six inches above the ivory perfection of her voluptuous fanny.
But I knew her ass would still be there another night and her cherry might not be. I had worked hard to get the chance to fuck Lupe and I wasn't about to let her go home still a virgin. My hand rubbed harder on my boiling penis as I thought of the lewd conquest I was about to make with a chilling delight all along my spine.
I moved up behind her quietly, positioning my cock just below the bottom curve of her firmly rounded cheeks. Before she even knew what had happened I had a firm grip on her hips and was pulling her back towards me, determined to impale her on my greasy sliding prick. The broad bulbous head of my super-heated penis punched savagely at the maiden mouth of her virgin pussy.
Lupe screamed, "NO! NO! HUUUURRRTTSS! STOP!
But I wouldn't have stopped right then if someone had offered me a fortune. She was my first virgin and I pounded against her terrified cuntal lips like the obsessed animal that I was until I felt the head of my cock pop inside and rippling waves of pleasure filling my dazed senses.
I ignored her screams and just kept pumping her incredibly soft tight cunt full of my hot hard prick. I wouldn't let her go until she knew what it meant to be fucked and as the path of my plunging staff met less and less resistance, she started coming to her senses and squeezing and sucking impulsively on my stiff penis with her blood-stained deflowered twat.
Soon the intense pleasure I felt from the smoothly rippling inner walls of her cunt began to increase almost unbearably. For Lupe was coming to life. In another moment she was upright, sitting on me, and moving her wide brown hips up, down, all around, as she rode on my big pecker like the divine creature I knew she would be.
She was moaning insanely, "Ooooooohhh, Dios, Jimmy, Dios, Dios, mi madre, fuck me, AAAaaaaa-ahhhfuckme!! "
I held her skirt up and stared at the softly clenching, moving flesh of her exquisitely choice behind. I pumped my cock savagely up into the seething heaven of her sucking, squeezing cunt and my eyes feasted on her nude dancing fanny. Her body rode furiously up and down on my big throbbing pecker as I stared at her creamy ass and drove it up to the hilt again and again and again.
At last, I felt my cum gathering tensely in my balls just as her twat exploded and bathed my bursting cock in a ceaseless flow of pent-up pussy juices. An instant later I felt my hot jiz squirting ecstatically out of my massive prick and swabbing her tight smooth insides with a gallon of cum.
She writhed insanely and screamed with pleasure, "OOOOOOOOHHHH! SHOOOOOOT ITT!
It was heaven, sheer naked heaven. When she'd drunk up the last of my cream into her ecstatic body, she got off me and went down on my pecker, sucking it madly until she'd shaped my cock into an eager staff once again. Within moments I felt the velvet sheath of her exquisite vagina massaging my big hard penis as I drove it up into her all over again. This time she sat on me facing towards me with her huge sweating breasts pushed against my smiling face and her beautiful nude ass bouncing against the dashboard. From the way she moaned and screamed I could swear she hardly stopped cumming during all the delicious minutes she rode me, and when I finally came I thought my prick would just rip off of me and bury itself forever up in her voluptuous insides. It was too much, man, just too much!
Later that night as I drove Lupe home, she reclined back fingering herself and moaning sweetly, "Imagine, Jimmy, we didn't even get to use that soft mattress yet."
Without turning, I slipped my finger over to join hers in her juicy dripping cunt, and said softly, "That's just what I'm doing, Lupe-imagining."
After that first night I had dozens of sweet times with Lupe. She managed to get herself a two-year supply of birth control pills by having a trusted older friend go into the local Birth Control Clinic for her. Her friend, Consuelo, was eighteen and though that was legal age to get the pills she still had to do a "favor" for the doctor in order to get Lupe a good supply. When I heard how Lupe had gotten the pills I felt a twinge of resentment towards the world. Lupe had a friend who would "blow a fat gringo doctor" for her. I didn't have a friend in the world, never had and probably never would. I was just too locked up inside, too much the loner.
But I did have Lupe and believe me, brother, I made the most of it. Almost every night during that all too short wonderful summer we did our thing on top of the satin covered mattress in the back of my truck. We would still meet as carefully as always though. No matter how much we dug each other the outside world remained the same and Lupe and I both dreaded what would happen if our love-making was ever discovered. I'd pick her up on some corner way out in the Richmond District or something. If her bus was late I'd always worry that she wasn't coming, that her parents or her bad-assed brother had found out about us and locked her up in her room.
Just when I was half-crazy with worry, her bus would pull up and she'd step out onto the curb, beautiful and eager to play for hours. Five minutes later my sweet little Lupe would be rubbing my cock and telling me how much she wanted it, how she'd fingered herself and dreamt of it all night.
And I'd be driving along perfectly content, listening to her lewd sexy words and wondering whether I'd prefer to fuck her at the drive-in way down in San Bruno or maybe the deserted beach out at Half Moon Bay.
When the summer ended Lupe and I kept right on fucking and sucking like crazy on the weekends. We played naughtily throughout almost my entire junior year right up until a certain Saturday morning only one week before the new summer vacation.
I had left my house that morning to go to the store for my mom, but as I neared the little Chinese grocery on the comer I suddenly felt myself being pulled into the alley by a pair of strong hands. I looked up. There he was, man, Fernando Suarez. He hadn't even bothered to bring his gang, guess he didn't want them to know what a whore his sister had turned into. I stared at his scarred face, into his black eyes, and knew my moment of reckoning had arrived. He moved so fast that I didn't even have a chance. Only seconds later he was walking casually out of the alley while I lay there flat on my face, bleeding like a mother fucker. If little Lee Kwan hadn't spotted me and screamed I'm sure I would have bled to death.
I was discharged from the hospital nine days later, minus four teeth from Fernando's quick punch and plus twenty-two stitches in my stomach following the path of his slashing knife.
Let me tell you, brother, I lost all my illusions of security in a hurry. Mr. Suarez had reminded me in only a matter of seconds just what kind of a jungle I was living in and I wasn't about to break the unspoken rules of the Mission ever again.
I spent every summer day messing around with the engine of my truck and every summer night burning up my bed with an aching desire for Lupe's warm soft body and the painful knowledge that I would never get to fuck her again. As the opening of the new school year neared I knew I would have to keep cool and stay out of sight at Mission High. I knew Fernando would have loved to give me a second dose of his knife. I would have to stay as isolated as possible. That meant no more Lupe, maybe no more pussy at all. You see, almost every girl at Mission came from a large family and I was taking no chances.
I was big and strong but I had no stomach for fighting. After all, I couldn't blame Fernando for stomping on me. I had copped his sister's cherry, hadn't I? The only thing that had ever angered me enough to use violence was the hypocritical little game that chicks were always playing.
I entered my senior year as more of a social outcast than ever and those fucking chicks at Mission sensed my delicate situation and took full advantage of it to taunt me with sexy glances that I couldn't dare respond to if I valued my life. Embittered and angry, I began to hang around different parts of the city. I was already becoming a hunter and I wandered about now after school looking for new prey.
CHAPTER FOUR
I just finished eating a hamburger and was strolling up Market Street, enjoying the cool breeze and eyeing all the fine young things walking by on the other side of the street. The wind picked up and so did half their skirts and my cock was tingling once again. Everything seemed fresh and new and, though I'd spent the last few months searching desperately for a new piece of tail, I felt as if my time to score was coming soon. I was a good looking kid and now that I wasn't being my usually depressed self I began to notice that one or two of the chicks even shot an occasional glance in my direction.
It was late Friday afternoon and all of the college girls and stewardesses were touring the shops and seemingly falling to pieces over a pearl necklace or a console stereo. But I knew a hell of a lot of them were just walking around like mechanical wind-up dolls on the outside and incredibly horny lonely women on the inside. They were all young just like I was and their bodies were just as alive and as eager as mine, only their heads were fucked up. I knew I was hung well and that if I was alone and naked with any of those luscious bitches they would moan and slobber over the size of my cock and the way it jerked and quivered in their warm tight cunts. But I was out on the street and I didn't know how the hell I could manage to get myself naked and alone with any of them. I stared at their soft curves and felt myself heat up especially at the sight of a Spanish girl waiting in a nurse's uniform at a trolley stop-
I stopped a moment and stared at the unknown Latin beauty, feeling my prick starting to stiffen at the familiar stimulus of long dark hair and flashing eyes and creamy soft brown skin. Images of Lupe gushed up out of my memory and tortured my frustrated mind long after the trolley had taken the Mexican girl away.
After a while I just sighed and started walking again. My time will come again, I thought, as I stared at all the lovely young girls parading up and down on the other side of the street. But still a burning emptiness, as if something had been ripped away from me, filled my crowded mind. There were all those chicks and I couldn't even get into any of them once, let alone have them suck my cock night after night for almost a year. Lupe's brother had cut into my beautiful scene with his sharp knife and I had lost my first steady sex kitten with a violent suddenness. I thought of Fernando slicing my stomach, thought of the two women I had known and how I'd had to slap them silly to make it really happen between me and them. I remember hoping intensely, as I walked down the street, that my life would someday know something besides violence. It seemed a lousy way for people to communicate what they felt, and I was growing afraid that if I wasn't shown another way in this world that violence would turn into the only way I could communicate at all. I didn't want that and I was just as repulsed by such a possibility as I was attracted to the girls I was staring at.
My reverie was broken by the sound of laughter and I looked in front of me to see a big blonde girl coming towards me across Duboce Avenue. She was wearing a gray pressing coat and laughing at the way the gusty wind was pressing it against her full thighs and tall torso. The combination of her long straight silken blonde hair and proud high cheek bones gave her a Scandinavian look. She laughed with an intense gusto and struggled through the wind towards me, her rounded thighs and full hips temptingly outlined under her clinging wind-rippled coat.
I couldn't help stopping in my tracks and watching her admiringly. She looked like some lusty animal out of an artist's erotic dream. I mean she was really put together, man, and I know that I must have looked like some wide-eyed kid drooling over an all-day sucker.
She stopped a few feet in front of me, brushed her long blonde hair out of her face, and smiled at me. Her voice was low, throaty, and intoxicating. "Hi. Some wind, huh?"
I couldn't believe it. The tall, beautiful creature was actually trying to start a conversation with me. I could see that she was at least twenty-five and I was thankful that, though I was only seventeen, I looked no more than two years younger than she. Still, my tongue remained locked in my mouth and I just stood there like a fool, smiling back at her.
Her smile widened and she asked me in a laughing tone, "What's the matter, honey? Cat got your tongue?"
I answered quickly, "N-no, I was just looking at you. You're very pretty."
A lewd excitement radiated out of her blue eyes and she spoke in a rapid flood of words. "You don't say? Well, thank you very much. It's not often I get such a nice compliment. Most of the men in this city are like deaf-mutes with twenty hands. It's nice to be appreciated a little. I might even return the favor. After all, such a gallant fellow deserves at least a cup of coffee, wouldn't you say?"
I nodded dumbly.
She continued, "Well then, why don't we go up to my place?"
She turned around abruptly and started walking back in the direction from which she had come. I eagerly fell into step with her and listened to her earthy voice as we walked.
"Like I was saying, honey, uh-well, really now, I can't just call you 'honey,' can I? I mean, you must have a name. What is it?"
I stuttered back at her, "I-I'm Jim."
She winked naughtily and hooked her arm in mine. "Jim, huh? My, that's a nice name, kind of solid, you know? I'm Conine, Jim, Conine Svenson."
My voice had a more confident tone as I stared into her electric blue eyes and said "Hi, Conine. Gee, that's a pretty name you have. Never heard it before."
She just kept walking and said in a sexy undertone, "I hope you never forget it, Jim honey. I'll try to make sure you have good reason to remember "
Was it this easy? Christ, here I was with a beautiful woman, walking arm in arm with her towards her place. I was gaining confidence rapidly and beginning to wonder just what she meant by "a cup of" coffee." I knew she wasn't a hooker, cause I obviously wasn't rich in my appearance and no professional would waste her time with a broke teenager. I shot a quick glance at her lovely profile and wondered what her trip was. Maybe she was a nympho or something? The thought sent the blood rushing to my head and I decided I'd better cool it and wait and see just what she had in mind. I knew by the way we had just met that Corrine was the kind of female who would make it very clear to me just what she wanted in due time.
A few minutes later we turned into Hermann Street and walked halfway up the steep hill to a white Victorian house. Corrine unlocked the front door and led me up one flight of stairs to her upper flat. She unlocked the door to her place and motioned me in with a delicate movement of her arm and a lurid expectant look in her eyes. You can imagine how excited I was, especially since I hadn't been laid in months.
As soon as we were in the room she locked the door behind us and came up and stood inches in front of me. I almost jumped out of my skin as she put her arms back around my neck and gave me a warm quick kiss on the lips.
The sound of her voice made me blush ten shades of purple. "You're cute, Jimmy. You know that? A strong young fella like you could tempt a girl to be, shall we say, intimate. Would you like that, Jimmy?"
I realized with a jolt that she was stone naked beneath her coat as she pressed her soft belly against my jeans. My brain whirled at the sound of her pubic hairs squishing up against the brass snaps covering my crotch. I smelled the musky perfume of her blonde hair and almost went crazy as she grabbed my hands and pulled them back behind her, placing my sweating palms on her warm full buttocks. She ground up against my rising cock and her ass moved sensuously under my groping touch. My heart was beating heavily and my mind was delighted with a dizzying anticipation as I drew one hand back to myself to unsnap my levi's.
But she grabbed hold of my wrist and held it and said, "No, not yet, not yet "
Her grip was surprisingly strong for a female and I was taken aback at her insistence. I figured I had plenty of time and besides I could barely stand up straight as it was from the excitement of feeling her robust naked ass cheeks under her coat.
I went over and sat down in an old easy chair, then looked at her and said in a good-natured tone, "That's some grip you've got, Conine. You're pretty darn strong for a girl."
She stared at me as if she had something else on her mind and answered distantly, "I'm a masseuse. In my job you have to have strong hands."
I couldn't figure out at all why she had suddenly hesitated and stopped me from unsnapping my jeans, and now she had me even more confused. It was the weirdest situation I had ever been in with a chick. Here I was with a voluptuous blonde masseuse who walked around Market Street naked under a trench coat. Now that meant she had to be some kind of incredible sex freak or nympho, especially since she'd picked me up and taken me home, and then made it obvious to me that she was naked under her coat. Well, one thing for sure was that I couldn't just sit there and let her stare at me with that funny look on her face. I was curious as hell and determined to find out just what this crazy chick had in mind. And the way her ass had felt under her coat made me want to get the preliminaries over with just that much sooner. The fact that she was a masseuse fascinated me. San Francisco was famous as the only place in the state where you could legally get a massage from a member of the opposite sex. I had heard that some of the girls in the massage parlors were hookers and some weren't. It was an optional choice for the girl and I sensed that Corrine didn't do it for money. No, the big lustful Scandinavian girl was after something else and I wondered what it was.
I knew I wouldn't ever find out unless I got the ball rolling, so I got up and walked over to the long white couch, then stretched out on top of it on my back. I looked up at her and spoke in the most masculine tone I could muster up. "No kiddin'? So you're a masseuse, huh? Hey, Conine, why don't you give me a massage?"
She just kept staring at me and by the time I had finished speaking, her expression had changed into a dark glower. She exploded back at me, "Go fuck yourself!"
I was totally stunned, "What?"
She was shouting at the top of her voice, "You heard me. I said go fuck yourself, you little twerp. You're a fucking little punk. What do you know about life? What do you know about a woman's needs? I should never have picked you up, never have done this, never, never! It's crazy, just plain crazy! Oh God, what have I done? Nelson would beat me horrible if he knew!"
And with that, at the peak of her sudden rage, she picked up a nearby ashtray and threw it straight at my head. It shattered against my stunned skull and I jumped up, rubbing the bump on my head.
I was absolutely furious and I screamed, "You crazy bitch! You shouldn't have done that, cunt! I don't know anything about any Nelson, but I sure know just what I'm gonna do to you!"
I was across the room in a flash and my big rough palm smacked against her cheek so hard that she fell down prone on the carpet. My cock felt as if it would burst right out of my jeans as I stared at the blonde bitch lying on the floor and staring up at me with a wild expression of excited fear on her face. I fell to my knees, straddling her and began slapping her furiously. Oh, man, it was so good, so good! And, God almighty, she was actually digging it!
I couldn't believe it. I was insanely excited by her screams and I slapped her again and again, staring down at her white face as she shrieked with glee and begged for more. It was just too good to be true. Here was a chick as beautiful as any sweet ass Swedish stewardess I'd seen on the tube, only she wasn't prim and proper and insisting on fragile handling. Shit, no! Corrine was like a dream-come-true, better than that even, for I had never imagined I would actually meet a chick who was as sexually excited by violence as I was. She just couldn't get enough.
Her pleas changed into a lewd flow of strange erotic demands. "God, Jimmy, spank me, Jimmy. You must, oooohh, you just have to spank me. My ass, my soft warm ass, my ass, my ass, my ass!! "
I ripped the coat off of her pale white beauty and almost choked with pleasure at the naked sight beneath me. She was all woman, built like a fucking battleship, and every inch of her skin shone and glistened like grade A cream. Her mountainous breasts were crowned by huge stiffly-pointed pink nipples and they throbbed pulsatingly in the center of circling dark pink coronal flesh. My eyes drank up her supple curves as they roamed down below her breasts to the porcelain white mound of her belly. Her cradling hips were fully curved and milky white beneath her small waist, but her large triangular bush of moist pubic hair was the most delicious sight of all. The full curly growth was a cotton candy-colored jungle of entangled feminine vines and I watched her finger dart down into it and part her juicy swollen cuntal lips as she began finger fucking herself with a crazed abandon.
The sound of her voice drifted back to my ears"My ass, baby, my ass, my ass. Spank it, Jimmy, oh spank me, daddy. Make it red, make it sting and tingle and oh God, I can't stand it anymore, do it, Jimmy, spank me, honey!! ! "
I turned her over and started spanking her soft, voluptuously molded ass with a loud slapping intensity. God, what a sweet, ripe, womanly fanny. She was endowed with the firmest, creamiest buttocks I had ever seen, and I stared at the lewdly moving pillowy beauty of her ass and unsnapped my Levis in a hurry and released my throbbing bloated erection. I stroked myself madly with one hand while I spanked her translucently smooth soft full cheeks with the other. Her ruddy behind moved obscenely under my vicious slapping attack, bouncing up and down slowly in a hypnotic imploring rhythm, her lush cheeks clenching and relaxing with a sensuously tantalizing movement.
She was trembling, screaming, mad with lust.
"Oooohhh good, baby, good, good, good. Spank it hard-HARD! Aaaaahhh, God, sweet cock, shove it in. Come on, baby, in my ass, Jimmy, in my big sweet ass. Hurt me, Jimmy, hurt me, fuck me, hurt me all you want in my ass."
My heart was beating like a trip hammer and my long hot prick was screaming with desire as I moved my taut sweating bulk above her and hung suspended with the massive bloated head of my penis grazing against the soft skin of her inner cheeks. She spread her cheeks with her hands, revealing the moist beauty of her long deep gorge, then her middle fingers spread her tight little brownish puckered asshole as wide as possible and she swung her delicious rear end temptingly around just beneath the eager tip of my hungry staff. I had never fucked a woman in the ass and the strange exotic sight of her rear hole inflamed my senses and reduced me to no more than a savage animal. I positioned the head of my cock at the sweating opening to her pillow encircled anus and punched it brutally against her tiny hole. She screamed with pain as I attacked her asshole with my hard hot battering ram, but her fingers tugged achingly at the resisting hole, trying to open it for me as much as she could. I stared down at her naked glistening asshole, propped up on my arms with the sweat pouring from my heated brow, and punched savagely at her tiny anal opening.
Suddenly, the head of my cock popped inside with a soft sucking sound and Corrine pushed her ass up at me, trying to swallow more of my massive prick with her smooth tight anus. I pumped and screwed and jammed it in inch by inch, delirious with the excruciating pleasure of fucking a woman in the ass for the first time. And what an ass! My penis was wrapped in a tingling sheath of smooth sweet inner skin and millions of tiny hidden muscles kneaded and massaged my driving love stick with wild new sensations. She was loving it, every bit of it, and I drove my immense cock all the way up to the hilt while she wriggled and squirmed and sucked on it with the madly squeezing inner tightness and moist rubbery flesh of her hot rectal channel.
Her shrill screams shook the apartment as she pumped her soft ass up around my buried cock in a fit of ecstasy. "Oooohhh, GOD! FUCK IT, FUCK IT, FUCK IT! I CAAANNN'T SSTOOOPP CUUUUUUMMMMIIINNG!! ! ! "
I felt her masturbating finger rubbing through the thin inflamed membrane that separated it and her pussy from the driving bulk of my prick. She was actually massaging the underside of my cock as she fingered her climaxing pussy and the teasing twitching motion of her finger against my penis made me pump it even faster into her tight asshole. It was so sweet and smooth and tight inside her ass that I knew if I didn't cum soon I'd go stark raving mad. My prick tore into her soft anus like a vibrating jackhammer, a huge weapon with a mind of its own, totally beyond any restraint or control as it burrowed into her satiny wetness. She moaned and screamed, rubbing at the underside of my cock through the thin inner wall of flesh with her finger, and squeezing its hard flesh luxuriously in the smooth grip of her ass. At last I felt my balls clench tightly and shoot hot jiz up through the length of my maddened prick and out of the tiny slit at its head, squirting long hot draughts of creamy semen deep inside her body. She screamed delightedly as I ejaculated madly, bathing her bowels in a scalding shower of boiling cum and pumping savagely inside her creamy ass until the last hot drop was squeezed out of my taut hard rod.
I pulled my shrinking cock out of her divine asshole and laid back on the carpet with a smile on my face. Only an instant later I felt her hot wet tongue licking the sticky residue of our mingled orgasmic juices off of the wrinkled skin of my ball sac. Her hand jerked my rising prick with a passionate expertise and I thought the top of my skull would blow off as she mouthed the head of my penis with a sweetly sucking motion. Within moments my excited pecker had been shaped into a huge stiff tool once again under the bobbing sensuous rhythm of her crammed sucking mouth and wildly working tongue. Mmmmm, did she know how to suck cock, as good as Lupe and then some. This was no young girl, but an earthy full-bodied woman who was gorging herself on my throbbing erection with an uninhibited hunger and stroking the thick stem of it with a yearning squeezing mastery.
I smelled a strange aromatic blending of feminine scents and opened my eyes to see that she had positioned her soaking cunt just above my face. At last I was going to experience sixty-nine. Lupe had never demanded I eat her pussy, but Corrine was much more direct and I wasn't about to disappoint her, nor deny myself an experience I'd been awaiting with a mixture of revulsion and excitement. The moment I cupped her buttocks in my hands and pushed her down onto my open mouth, I knew there was no cause for revulsion. My tongue licked her tangy snatch and it tasted like a spicy delight, especially thrilling because of the intimate oral embrace of her mouth on my cock. God, we were licking and sucking each other's genitals and the exciting realization made me pump my prick rapidly up into her clinging sucking mouth and frame her pussy with my lips and suck her sweet pungent fluids into my eager mouth. We were now like a closed circuit of pulsing erotic electricity, locked onto the core of each other's being with the taut suction of our mouths; Corrine sucking, licking, and stroking my enraptured staff, and me with my tongue wildly slithering inside her writhing vagina between her warm moist twat lips. Oh man, I wanted to eat her forever. I licked and bit and sucked with a crazed pleasure, my nose and my cheeks lost in the immense raspberry blonde forest of her dripping pubic bush. I sucked out pink ridges of hot pussy meat into my wide wet mouth and held the captured folds of cunt flesh there so I could torture her raw nerve endings with the teasing tip of my gluttonous tongue.
Conine went wild and swallowed more of my prick than any woman ever had before, responding to my playing tongue with her own gratefully sucking mouth and swirling, flicking tongue. I couldn't get enough of her delicious twat, couldn't believe how good a woman's love hole actually tasted. I was discovering a whole new way of making love, a new kind of give and take between male and female.
With the slightest movement of my tongue her whole body vibrated with the echo of her unbearable desire. She sucked the taut blue-veined flesh of my penis with an aching ecstasy, and her pussy molded itself around my tongue with a clinging, rippling pressure. My teeth grazed teasingly against the tiny clitoral prick of lust that crowned her moist slit and my cock felt like it would soon burst into slivers for Conine to greedily swallow. Her tongue concentrated in a tiny spiraling circle on a magic nerve just beneath the head of my cock. Her fingertips dreamily massaged only an inch below her sweet tongue on the underside of my cock and the huge vein that was the banel of my cum rifle swelled under their sensuous rubbing. Her deep warm mouth, though not as tight as her smooth asshole had been, sucked with a steady undulating intensity that must have been the envy of the two other penis-starved holes that her lush mature body possessed. Oh, man, everything inside of me, my whole being was alive and into it as I enjoyed the double jackpot of that insane chick. First I'd fucked her in the ass and now I was wallowing in the heady wine of her soggy crotch. I screwed my tongue as deeply as possible up into her delicious cunt. I sucked as hard as I could and felt the same thrill Corrine was feeling as she swallowed my prick with the suction of a madwoman dying of thirst. My tongue was swimming with the primitive essential tastes of a woman's vaginal juices and I wriggled it wildly inside her, lapping up every new spice and swabbing the raw inner flesh of her twat with rough corkscrewing movements. I realized for the first time in my life why I had never talked much-my tongue was destined to eat pussy, almost solely created to drive a woman crazy. I'd been saving it for this wild twilight feast with Corrine without even knowing it and I licked faster trying to get as much as I could before the nearing explosion.
Moments later my senses swirled and my creamy semen shot out of my cock in a scalding heavy stream as she sucked and rubbed with unimaginable passion and drank up my bursts of jiz. And an instant later I was drinking from her other end, as she exchanged a long sweet drink of exhilarating, climaxing feminine liqueurs for the hot cream she was thirstily milking from my swollen prick.
When it was over she stood up and I grabbed her by the legs, then started pulling her abdomen towards my mouth as I got up on my knees to give her cunt one last wet kiss. But she pulled away from me and said, "Wait." Then she went into the kitchen to check the time.
She came running back into the room and rasped frantically, "Oh my God, Jimmy, it's Six already, Nelson will be home any minute, Go, please go!"
I stood up, drawing my jeans up with me and snapping them closed as I asked, "But when can I see you again?"
Corrine smiled, opening the door, and answering me in a sexy intimate voice, "Go on, honey, come back Monday. I'll sit on a pillow till then so it'll be soft and tender for your cock."
I ran out the door and down the stairs, hearing her voice calling after me. 'Think about it, honey."
I walked back to Market Street wondering more than thinking-wondering why I had enjoyed beating her every bit as much as she loved being beaten.
CHAPTER FIVE
When I arrived home later that night I was surprised to see that, though it was still only nine or so, all the lights in the house were out, except for the dim glow of a lamp in a far corner of the living room. My mother sat next to the lamp in an old beat up chair, muttering to herself. She didn't even look up as I came in.
I went into the kitchen cause I couldn't stand to be alone in the same room with that bitch. I could sense that something was wrong but I shook it off. My dad didn't seem to be anywhere around but that wasn't unusual since he'd taken to spending most of his weekend nights in the closest bar. I figured my mom would be coming in any minute to ask me to go out and find him and drag him back home. I wished for the thousandth time that I had the courage to tell her to just fuck off and let the old man do his drinking. Ah, what was the use?
I went over to the refrigerator to get a coke and when I opened it I saw that something was glaringly absent from the top shelf-my dad's reserve fifth of bourbon. He prided himself on being able to keep that bottle in the refrigerator without ever having to open it. Suddenly, something he had told me only a few weeks earlier came back to me. He'd said, "Son, the day I have to open that bottle in the refrigerator will be the day that's the end of me." I felt a chill crawling up along my spine-"the end of me."
I slammed the refrigerator door closed, turned and walked back out into the living room. I wanted to ask my mom if anything had gone wrong with dad, but before I could even ask I picked up the thread of what she was softly murmuring over and over.
"Finally killed him. Poor dumb Frank. Selling the farm, moving here, this strange place. Finally killed him. Poor dumb--. "
"Shut up!" I screamed at the small pale stranger I had always had to call 'mom'. "You killed him, you fucking nagging bitch! You killed my father! It was you, you, you!! "
I turned and ran out the door, my face streaked with tears. By the time my feet reached the sidewalk, I knew I'd never go back in that house.
I ran all the way back to Market Street. My mind was confused and tortured with pain, my hands were shaking, and I could hardly stand up straight from the weakness in my legs. Christ, my dad was dead. I would never see him, never talk to him again. I knew I wouldn't go to his funeral. She was the one who had made him break his balls to buy their plots in a imagine cemetery. Well, she could go in her fucking black dress and show the world she was burying him like the "decent woman" she was. I would have no part of it.
Almost instinctively, I caught the N. Judah Line trolley and sat down, staring at the back of the seat directly in front of me. Over a year earlier I had taken the same trolley with Lupe, and, now that I was much too shaky to drive my truck, I was headed once again on the public car for the quiet night time seclusion of Golden Gate Park. Only this time there was no lovely Miss Suarez sitting in front of me. No, the seat was empty, as totally and completely empty as I felt deep inside. The one person I had been close to since I was a little boy had just died, killed by the crowded filth of a city he was never meant to live in, destroyed by the very woman he had pledged his life to love and protect, and perhaps, just perhaps, hurt deepest of all by his own son's recent indifference and almost constant absence. A wave of guilt surged through me. Had I helped to kill my father by not showing him or telling him that I loved him even once since we'd moved to the city?
I got off at the park and walked amongst the dark trees for a seemingly endless amount of time. I knew that I had been my father's pride and joy and now that he was gone I cursed myself again and again for the kind words I hadn't given him, for the fact that I'd stood by, paralyzed with embarrassment and disgust, while my mother had repeatedly cut him into little pieces, and most of all for the fact that even now, on the night of his death, I couldn't stop tasting Conine's sweet cunt on my tongue and thinking of the way it had felt to fuck her creamy ass. In my guilt I wondered just what kind of monster Frank Felton had sired. If I was just a loner, just a freaky locked-up kid who kept to himself and didn't talk to anyone, well, maybe that wouldn't be so bad in itself. I couldn't help the way my basic personality was any more than my father could. But I was more than a loner, I was also a selfish kid who'd been so worried about the way my truck ran and whether I was getting enough pussy, that I hadn't even tried to do something about my father's alcoholism and deteriorating health. I had marked his destruction off as an inevitability while he'd still been alive, and now that he was dead I was plagued with the thought that maybe, just maybe, I would have been able to do something to save his life, or at least ease the pain of his death, if I had really cared enough to make an effort.
I finally sat down on the grass and leaned back against a eucalyptus tree. I picked up a twig that was lying there next to me and I stirred an imaginary can of bait worms with it, just the way I had done when my dad had taken me fishing with him years before. The tears filled my eyes again as I remembered the good times and the closeness I had once shared with my father. I sat there with my emotions deeply disturbed and my mind confused and tired, thinking back over what was now gone forever and could never be regained. Finally, mercifully, my exhaustion overcame me and I fell asleep. I was thankful for that, brother, cause I don't think I've ever felt as guilty as the night my dad died.
When I awoke I blinked the sun out of my eyes and watched the park becoming crowded with Saturday picnickers. I ended up just sitting there the whole damn day in the park, trying to bring myself back together, trying to purge the guilt from my mind. In the clear light of day things began to fall back into perspective and I realized with a great sense of relief that I had been placing too much blame on myself for what had happened and not enough on my mother. She was the one who deserved the greatest burden of guilt for my father's death.
In a strange sort of way my father had sacrificed his life so that I could live mine free of my mother. The moment he had died there was no more reason for me to come home at all. My fuckin' mother would never be able to do to me what she had done to my father. I had received fair warning about my mom by what had happened to my dad and I knew I didn't owe her one more minute of my life. So dad was dead, mom was probably at the funeral right now, and I was free of all of it.
But free to do what? What the hell was the purpose of my life? Images ran helter-skelter through my mind-me and my father fishing for trout, Corrine's soft ass squeezing my boiling cock, Lupe's brother, Fernando, slicing into my stomach. What did it all mean? My whole life had come down to this day in the park, the knowledge that was now totally alone in the world without family or friends or any idea what I should do with myself.
Even the education I was getting seemed absurd. My dad had struggled so that I could go to high school at least. I was already further than he had ever gotten in school, yet I didn't see what good it was doing for me. In a way my future was just as hopeless as all of the Spanish and Black kids in the Mission. I was in a minority in this world also, only I wasn't separated from the bulk of society by my color or language. No, the difference between me and normal people was psychological. I was a loner, an outsider, and it was just as impossible for me to break through the barriers I had been born into as it was for Fernando, or Lightfoot, or any of the other lost souls of the Mission. They couldn't communicate because society just wouldn't fuckin' listen to a Mexican or a Black, and I couldn't communicate because, though the world was willing to listen, I just wasn't able to talk.
Now that my father was gone I was afraid that I'd never be able to communicate with anyone ever again. The only other way I'd ever been able to express myself, aside from short raps with my dad, was the method with which I had related to chicks. In other words, it seemed as if the only way I could still save myself from complete isolation was with my fists and with my cock.
I sat there watching all the young couples walking by or sitting on blankets nearby. Every fuckin' chick was playing the same game, coming on like a coy virgin and teasing the hell out of the poor horny dude they happened to be with. I knew they all wanted to fuck. After all, it was as natural as breathing. But the way they acted you'd think the last thing they would ever do was finger themselves silly every night. As I watched the hypocritical courtship changes that they forced their boyfriends to go through, I began to feel that maybe I did have a purpose in life. Maybe I could relieve the aching need in my pants and do the world some good simultaneously by straightening out a few of the countless self-righteous bitches that walked around the city like they owned it.
I spent the remainder of the day trying to figure out what possible reason a woman could have for pretending she wasn't a woman. I knew it had to be more than just the way they were brought up. Nobody but the exceptional few really took morality seriously, that went for both sexes, but why would a woman not give into her deepest sexual needs when she knew they were more real and important than any warnings her mother had given her back when she was a little girl. It finally dawned on me that a woman could substitute for the sexual pleasure she denied herself with another kind of pleasure. No wonder she took so much joy in saying "no" to a man she really wanted. It was probably almost as much fun as sex itself to have some guy begging and slobbering over her pussy. That way she could get taken out to imagine places and have new clothes bought for her and maybe even, if she wanted it, get herself a diamond wedding ring. And even if she didn't want to marry the guy she could still milk him for all the expensive toys he was willing to buy for her. On top of that, just in case she eventually decided to give the poor slob his piece of ass, it would be especially good for her cause the guy would be sure to fuck her silly after being made to wait for so long. Wow, man! A fuckin' chick really had it covered just by having a pussy and being able to barter it for whatever she might want. She didn't even have to give it to the guy, just act like he might get it someday if he was a good little dog. And guys put up with it, broke their backs so some cunt who never worked a day in her life could drive a new car to the market and buy more cosmetics to hide her ugliness with. It steamed me, brother, I mean it made me mad enough to just bust a gut.
At sunset I finally got up and left the park. I began to walk, strolling aimlessly about the city and thinking about the new conclusions I had drawn out of my confusion. A strangely exciting mixture of horniness and anger filled my senses as I walked the crowded street. There were women all around me, some pretty and some ugly, some old and tired and some young and eager, but all of them, every last fuckin' one of them, seemed to act assured that all of their lies and games would go unavenged. They looked at me disdainfully whenever they happened to catch me staring at them. It was like they wanted to be sure to remind me that they ruled all, that they could do any damn thing they wanted to do, cause they were the weaker sex and it was against the rules for a man to exercise his superior physical strength and just beat them up and take what he wanted.
About an hour after I started walking I found myself on the brightly-lit Saturday night streets of Chinatown. It was then that I saw her. Her long silky black hair hung down to where the small of her back curved gracefully inward above the firm bouncing cheeks of her perfect Oriental ass. She was young, maybe in her early twenties, and she was the kind of achingly distant, unbelievably feminine Chinese princess that just made your heart stop still and your cock strain against your pants like a mad dog on a leash. I knew right then and there that I had to fuck her and I also knew there was no way I could come up front to her and tell her just what I wanted. The way she carried herself she was obviously the eldest daughter of a rich Chinese merchant. I'd seen the type before, sheltered all their lives like little toy dolls that would break if you touched them. The fragile beauty weaved through the crowd in front of me and I stalked her intently, hypnotized by the sensuous swaying walk of her lithe young body, determined somehow to bury my hungry prick in her delicate softness.
I must have followed her for hours, at times catching a glimpse of her tiny exquisite face, the way her firm little tits tugged upward when she turned sideways, or the look of her translucently smooth soft butter skin against the mint green fabric of her dress. It all seemed like an exciting game as I ducked out of sight whenever she turned to look back and trailed her persistently in her leisurely wanderings, as if she were a fresh piece of meat and I was a hunter with only my wits and stealth with which to bring down my prey.
Soon it was past midnight and she had inadvertently led me down to the docks. I watched her from behind a large shipping crate as she leaned on the railing and looked out at the sea. Mmmmmm, the outline her ripe little ass was so tempting as it jutted out, barely covered by the expensive clinging fabric of her short dress. I caught myself taking into account the camouflaging noise of the night longshoremen unloading bananas and ivory. I realized that this was it-an outright rape on a woman I'd never even met. But I felt no reservations whatsoever because I knew the beautiful creature would only be getting what was coming to her and what she probably wanted anyway. My cock swelled as I realized how fateful it was to have found her in my turmoil. She was the symbol of everything I disliked in a woman-arrogantly beautiful, sheltered, rich, and oh so distant. Well, all of that would be forever ended for her tonight. I wondered if she was a virgin, wondered even more what she would have thought if she knew she was about to be raped. I had followed her all through the night and now she had led me to my peace, in both senses of the word.
In the next instant I was on her, my fists coming down hard on her lovely head. She collapsed like a paper doll and I thrilled as I picked up the bottom of her dress to see her pink silk panties and the small black curly bush barely visible beneath them. I took her limp wrists in one big hand and dragged her ripe unconscious body behind two crates.
As soon as I had her where I wanted her, I dropped her wrists and released my aching penis from my pants. I stroked myself madly and stared down at my lovely victim. I bent over and, with my free hand, lifted her dress to just below her hard little tits and pulled her panties completely off. Oh God, what a sweet little body, what a juicy little bush she had, framed by the supple flesh of her soft yellow thighs.
I got down on my knees, with my big cock quivering in its pinkish enormity as I jerked myself furiously, and I bent my nose down in between her thighs and greedily sniffed the fragile scent of her delicate Eastern love blossom. Her soft belly, her sweet thighs, even her tight dewy fresh pussy was covered with a thin film of cold sweat. Her tantalizing body had gone into shock from my brutal attack and that made me all the more excited.
Immediately I began licking her smooth glistening cuntal lips and tasting the fragrant Oriental spice of her virgin snatch. No man had ever entered between those exotically-shaped tightly drawn lips and I worked my tongue inside and felt an excruciating surge of power as her labia slowly opened and more and more of her untouched raw inner flesh accepted the relentless pressure of my tongue. I framed her candied pussy with my lips and sucked with a longing rhythm on her divine cunt. My tongue worked independently of my deep wet mouth, exploring deeper and deeper into the unconquered inner domain of her slowly relaxing, loosening, swelling vagina.
I felt an all-encompassing, deeply satisfying lust as I tasted the aromatic flesh of her tight, incredibly smooth pussy. I felt her baby fine pubic hairs brushing against my nose and cheeks and stroked my prick triumphantly. She was all mine. I had stalked her and brought her down and now she was mine to do with as I please. I licked and sucked passionately, knowing there was nothing to stop me from the wildest perversions and the lewdest rapture. There were no more games now and nothing to prove to any bitch, only this lovely never-fucked angel reduced to total submission while I enjoyed the masculine ecstasy of eating her scrumptious pussy. She was another race, another world, and I knew now that every erotic dream I had ever dreamt about the young, black-haired Chinese girls of the city was only a distant glimpse of the true softness, the total femininity of this half-nude girl I was devouring.
Mmmmmm, the smooth hot skin, the moist honeyed flesh of her sweet twat clinging to my tongue. The maidenly perfection of her ripely-shaped vagina drove me crazy-but not as crazy as the moaning girl was when she began waking to the hot writhing paradise of my tongue.
Suddenly her starving pussy started twitching and rippling convulsively at the eager movements of my tongue, at the feel of what she had always wanted to someday feel, and her curvaceous loins swung into a whirling spasmodic dance in response to my sucking mouth.
She moaned and sighed in a delicate high-pitched tone, "Ooooooaaaaahhh suuuuuuuuuck mmmmmmmmmmmm suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuccckk haaaaaaaaaaarrrrdd aaaaaaaaaahhh yeeeeeeeeeee essssss!"
The music her soft strange accent, her trembling voice, seemed to make my cock swell another full inch in anticipation of entering the lovely cunt that was bathing my tongue with pungent lubricating fluids. My tongue lashing had revived her and she had awoken, conscious only of the erotic sensations in her pussy. Her upbringing meant nothing to her now and her pelvis undulated voluptuously under the rhythm of my oral fucking, as if she wished to tell me that she was as totally willing awake as she'd been when still unconscious and defenseless.
I couldn't wait any longer and I took my mouth away from the feast and drew myself up on top of her, positioning my cock between her wide open thighs. I worked my finger past her moist tight labia and fingered her pussy as gently as if I were her young Chinese husband on her wedding night instead of the rapist I had now truly become. She thrilled to my slowly pumping, rubbing finger and lolled her beautiful head from side to side in a sensuous show of unrestricted passion. Her tight little cunt sucked and squeezed on my buried finger and I eyed her cream-colored moist twat lips and moved my massive erection into place.
The first electrifying contact of her smooth labia against the swollen head of my cock sent shivers through my whole body.
She was as entranced as I was, moaning, "I can feeeeeeeeellll ittt aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh I can feeeee eeeellll ittt gooooooooooooodddd!"
My prick was in her now and I felt myself sliding into a tightly clinging, seething heaven of silken pussy. She was so smooth and soft and tender, so warm and damp deep inside. Her pussy sucked with sweet moist flesh all along my smoothly pumping meaty cock. Deeper and deeper I pushed my hard rod and her long nails dug into my back as she held on to me with her lovely face contorted in a lewd mixture of pain and pleasure. I began to pump faster and faster, thrilled by the warmth of her broken cherry's hot blood trickling throughout my coarse pubic hairs.
She lifted up my head and held her delicate palms against my flushed unshaven cheeks. I had spent a night and a day sitting against a tree and flipping out and now I lay hidden with this beautiful creature, feeling her awakening virgin cunt squeezing wildly on my rapidly moving prick and seeing her lovely face smiling up at me with worshipful eagerness.
She sighed, "Do it mooooooorrre, oooooooooooohhh aaaaaaaahhhh."
I fucked her with a pagan sense of joy, ramming my blazing penis into her tight smooth snatch and reaming out every untouched inch of her exquisitely kneading inner walls. In another moment, as I pumped inside her wet naked pussy and basked in the beauty of her face, I felt my cock explode in a dizzying burst of boiling cum and watched her smiling lips curl open and her black almond eyes close in ecstasy.
Suddenly I heard the sound of footsteps nearby. I pulled out of her and jumped up, instantly becoming aware of the cold air and the sight of the disheveled half-naked girl lying there in the sawdust beneath me.
I heard a sharp call, "Over there!" and the noisy echo of footsteps running towards me.
I lifted my peggers and zipped them, then fled as fast as I could in the direction away from the running footsteps, my heart beating rapidly from the sudden exertion of my body and the sudden fear in my mind.
I cut through alleys, between warehouses and then across brightly-lit intersections towards the inner city. I didn't stop running until I reached my deserted street an eternity later. Then I walked to where my old truck was parked, climbed exhausted into the back, and fell asleep on the satin-covered mattress.
CHAPTER SIX
I awoke into the Sunday morning calm with one remembered phase echoing through my head, "Beat me, sweet cock, beat me, beat me." It seemed as if my mind had found no peace, no satisfaction in the act I had committed last night. I was still tense and restless despite the sweet cherry of the Chinese beauty I had raped. Man, I wish I could get across to you just how frustrated I was that morning in the back of my truck. I sat there on the mattress, trying to figure out why I had gained no peace out of my brutally stolen fuck. I guess deep down I had been secretly hoping that the act of rape would provide a means of relief for my tortured mind and chaotic emotions, but I knew now as I shook the sleep from my mind that even the wild thing I had finally done last night had given me no release from my constant burden of horniness and anger. I guess maybe deep inside me I'm a romantic person. I know that's odd for a rapist to say, but I think the whole reason I felt so unfulfilled and so angry at the opposite sex was cause they were never like I expected them to be. I can't remember ever feeling softness from a woman. Oh, sure, when I was fuckin' 'em and they had already melted like butter they were always as soft and sweet as could be, but I mean ever since I was a little kid no woman had ever reached out for me and held me in her arms just cause she was gentle and loving and truly a warm female. No, see, cause it was always total coldness from my mother and then, when I got older, it was total coldness from every female I knew. The few times I ever overcame that coldness were the times when I had to slap a chick around. Then, seeing there was no way out, the cunt in question would finally share a little of that smoldering feminine passion with me.
There was only one woman who could offer me anything different from the repetitious sickness of the chicks in this world. Oh, it wasn't that Conine wasn't sick all right, it was just that her illness was tremendously exciting to me. She dug violence as much as I did and as I thought of her and sniffed the crisp morning air swirling around inside my truck, I knew that in some strange way she was my natural mate. No matter how many Chinese princesses I could violate, I sensed that there would always be the spell of our mutual love of brutality drawing Corrine and I together as if some magnet were planted deep in each of our bodies. Over and over her words burned in my brain-"Beat me, sweet cock, beat me, beat me." And I knew I heard her voice because I had always wanted to beat a woman, to hit her more than once, more than just what was needed to get into her pussy. And Corrine had actually wanted that, wanted to feel my knuckles bruising her and my rough palms slapping her almost as much as she wanted my long hard cock to keep pumping inside her incredibly soft, creamy ass forever and ever. I had hit her more than once and she had actually wanted it that way. Once again I could see the red welts I had raised on the white perfection of her fanny, I could see her magically tantalizing expression as I slapped her beautiful face and she begged for more. Well, I knew I'd find no rest with the scared submission of another unknown victim. No, I needed a willing partner in violence, the only woman I knew who was trapped like me under the curse of this abnormal, hard-to-control obsession. The vision of Conine's naked white body grew in my aroused mind as the ultimate goal of all my desires, the picture of the only way for me to find any relief. Right at that moment I could even feel a strange excitement in the air, as if she were thinking about me just as intently up in her flat. Well, I'd have no peace until I gave her some more of what she wanted, just beat her and fuck her all day. I clenched my fists, then jumped up into the driver's seat and started up my truck.
Ten minutes later I pulled up in front of the white Victorian house on Hermann Street and turned off the motor. I moved my stiff cock to a different position inside my pants so I wouldn't look so conspicuous, then I got out of the truck and went through the open front door and up the stairs to her flat. I knocked a few times and stood there with a refreshing feeling of immanent relief washing through me.
But the face that answered the door wasn't Corrine's. It wasn't unfriendly though, until Conine shouted out in shock, "Jimmy! Oh No!! "
Nelson understood in a flash, grabbed me by the front of my shirt, and sent me flying with a short hard punch over the landing and down the stairs. I stopped rolling near the bottom step, jumped up, and instinctively ran a rapid testing hand over my legs and arms to make sure there were no broken bones.
Nelson was screaming, "So that's how it is! Well you're a day early, mother-fucker!"
He started down the stairs after me, but the kid here, miraculously unhurt, was already out the door, into my hard-runnin' old truck, and starting her up. I was halfway down the street by the time Nelson had reached the sidewalk. Jesus, my chin felt like it had bumped into a building. I squinted my eyes and concentrated on the road, my brain swimming from the confusing, exhausting effort of my second close escape in less than twenty-four hours. Man, it seemed like the whole world was out to get me. I rubbed my chin and turned onto Fulton Street, heading towards the park.
When I reached the park I stopped the truck and got out and sat on the damp grass. Man, I was getting tired of this shit. Once again I'd had to take a beating over some chick and it was only a matter of luck for me that Nelson hadn't carried a knife like Fernando had. This time the blade might have cut deeper and I knew those fuckin' doctors didn't have no way in the world to stitch up a ripped-open heart. I scratched at the long railroad scar on my stomach and blessed my lucky stars that I hadn't gotten caught at all for my biggest sin, for the savage way with which I had taken that sweet Oriental cherry last night. But I had been denied the deepest pleasure of all, the joy of lying there afterwards with that exotic little creature and savoring her sweet nude body for awhile, before I fucked her virgin asshole or her equally unfucked ripe mouth. Instead I had had to pull up my britches and run just seconds after I had cum and hours before I voluntarily would have stopped my systematic pillaging of her exquisitely feminine charms. And, like the dumb son-of-a-bitch that I was, I had continued my running this morning by running to Corrine in my truck. But the result of my desperate action less than an hour earlier had been just as surprising and just as disappointing as what had happened to me last night just when I'd been getting down to the serious business of a complete and fulfilling rape.
It seemed to me that it was always that way with my life lately. I was either giving a beating or taking one. And there was just no satisfaction happening for all my troubles. Just a couple of days ago, before all this shit had come down, before I even had seen Corrine, I'd been naive enough to walk down the street and hope that some great new way of being would come into my life and give me some kind of tool to communicate with besides violence. And it came to me then, brother, as I sat cross-legged on the grass, that I had to stop fooling myself and face up to my lot in life. Despite the fact that I was basically an easy-going human being, I could easily get bent out of shape under the right circumstances and get myself into a situation where I was going to end up getting myself hit or hitting someone else. And the circumstances were always the same, always I had that unavoidably violet reaction to the way some chick was acting. All Corrine had had to do to get her greats was to ask me and, as if she had pushed a button, I swung into action and beat her silly. Shit, I was like one of Pavlov's dogs or something. A chick would make a certain move, play a certain game, consciously or unconsciously, and a little go-ahead light would flash in my head, my prick would spring erect, and my fists would move with a crazed will of their own. Whatever had conditioned me to react so violently was like a massive pile of junk in my brain, an irrational mountain of deeply-imbedded experiences and thoughts and feelings that loomed over me in a hopelessly confusing, unintelligible mosaic of deep motives and primitive drives. I knew I could never figure out and overcome what had made me into such an angry cat. Sometime the conditions would be right once more and it would have to happen again. There were too many chicks in the world for me to escape eventually meeting a new one and reacting to her inevitable games like a brutal animal.
Well, if violence was to be my way of life, I would have to find some way to work it off. I couldn't just roam the streets every day after school like a junior version of Jack the Ripper. No, sooner or later I'd end up killing some chick or, with my luck, getting myself caught just as I was shoving it in. I was a freak and I was smart enough to know that, no matter how impossible it was for me to be anything but a freak, society had a persistent habit of locking up helpless people like me for indefinite amounts of time. It was just like the fuckin' world to assume that a guy like me studied anatomy charts and worked hard to reach my goal of becoming a rapist. It never occurs to people that freaks like me do whatever our personal weird thing is not cause we want to, but cause we have to. Believe me, brother, I would rather be a dirt farmer like my dad was than a convicted rapist like I unfortunately happen to be.
At any rate, as I sat there on the grass and mused upon the fact that I was too young to see the inside of any fuckin', stinkin' jail, I suddenly realized what I had to do. I had to find a place to fit in with the world or go crazy from confusion and the fear of doing something stupid and brutal. I had to find a place where I could maybe even put the violence to a good cause, a place where I wouldn't have to think, where I could escape my chaotic way of life and take a rest from myself. I climbed into my truck and started it up. Then I drove down to Market Street and enlisted in the United States Army.
They sent me to Fort Ord and the first busy weeks were refreshingly new to me. They woke me and the other guys up in the middle of the night like clockwork. Yeah, man, they'd have us out there marchin' around like little toys and freezin' our asses off by five o'clock every morning. But it was beautiful, friend, cause they drilled us in the official way of doing everything. I could quiet my mind by concentrating on the proper way to hold a rifle or kick a canvas dummy in the nuts. For the first time in a long time there was a whole new education to learn and I threw myself into it gladly cause being brutal came naturally to me. I could hypnotize myself with all the soldier shit that they made me do, I could play all day and in the meantime the army would provide everything to keep me well-provided-for and functioning at peak efficiency. All I had to do was whatever they told me to do and they'd take care of all my needs, from food to rubbers. Believe it or not, and this the truth, baby, there's even a page in the Air Force Manual that shows you the official way to jerk-off. I didn't need any book to tell me what kind of sweet pussy to dream about, though. I had seen plenty of those Vietnamese chicks on the television news and I couldn't wait to get over there and take my share of that foreign cunt. The same delightful vision of rape in the jungle visited me every night and it soothed any infrequent frustrated feelings I may have had. Needless to say, I went through basic training with flying colors, and when they transferred me to Fort Biloxi in Mississippi, I was already a PFC.
But when I got to my new post, I began to feel restless and itchy. I was stationed with an artillery company and as time dragged on I would load a big howitzer for practice firing and imagine that it was a big cock and I was priming it for some female target. I was starting to get horny again and I began to resent the limitations on my sex life that the army had imposed on me by sending me to a base where the only local talent was in a hot, humid, narrow little town.
On weekends, me and the other guys in my company would drift in little groups throughout the colored section of town. It didn't really matter which bunch of guys I happened to tag along with since I had yet to find a friend, even though I was now living a life in close contact with a lot of young guys paying their military obligation same as me. I just couldn't find anything similar to my thoughts in the heads of the guys around me and, as usual, I just sat there quietly while the people around me talked with each other. I was just a mute observer and I'd watch them with the chicks and keep to myself.
They'd hit the six or seven bars, drinking, laughing and calling themselves the "Big Guns". The pretty black prostitutes would taunt them, walking around like proud lionesses or half-drunk and screaming, "Les all dooooooo ittt, chillun".
Like I said, I always sat apart quietly and watched the action walk by. Occasionally, some full-bodied Negress would come and sit on my lap and grind her bountiful buttocks voluptuously against my crotch. As soon as the bronze temptress realized that I wasn't responding to her lewd gestures, that I was different from the other young white soldiers, she would shrug and get up and move on to the next trick. I'd be damned if I'd pay for any woman's pussy, no matter how fine she looked. To me that was just another game, another way for a chick to get what she wanted by using the lure of her snatch. I had a deep feeling that it was unnatural for a woman to use her vagina to gain a wedding proposal or for money or for anything except a tight-fitting satiny glove for a guy's stiff prick.
Still, I stared quietly at those fine, lush Black ladies, and I couldn't keep from admiring their generously proportioned shapes and sultry erotic gestures and vibrations. I wondered just how much longer I could go without a woman. It had been many months since I had raped that Oriental virgin in San Francisco, but I was beginning to feel as if I had done that years ago and now I was stranded in a town where the only way I could relieve the aching pressure in my nuts was to pay cash money, and I wasn't about to make a perversion of everything I believed in and go ahead and do that. No sir. They'd probably be sending me to Vietnam in the not-too-distant future and I could grab all the sweet young ass I wanted as a prize for my patience. But it was getting harder and harder not to buy a piece of tail every long, horny weekend. I knew I had to get some kinda woman soon or I might end up rubbing off the skin of my frustrated pecker.
Finally, one Saturday night, I sat in a crowded bar and worked on my fifth of bourbon, trying to calm myself and suppress the aching need of my loins. The local women were looking especially vibrant and eager to suck the cream out of my penis with their full-lipped wide mouths and their sensuously juicy and willing, soft pussies and big smooth black fannies. I could see almost perfectly clearly how each of those naughty ladies looked in the raw beneath their dresses. They wore no under garments except for white lace stockings that came halfway up their full cocoa thighs and connected to a scanty garter belt. It was a wild night, there was a lewd magic in the air, and one of the shapelier girls had just lifted her skirt and shown me her luscious pink-crevassed, dark brown ass with an obscene, delicious abandon. I'd had to grip the edge of the table until my knuckles were white to keep from dipping my head forward and taking a bite out of her fully rounded, creamy smooth tushy. My eyes focused in the long, deep, bright pink gorge between her high jutting cheeks, and I imagined what it would be like to slide my cock up and down between her soft, massaging hillocks of honeyed flesh on a big warm four-poster bed inside a numbered room at the Excelsior Hotel. I caught myself and stopped my chain of thought just in time. Dammit, here I was only moments away from giving in to a female game and paying the price of admission. My mind was hazy with desire and I stared at her naked inviting buttocks and coughed at the thick smoke and earthy scents all around me. I was starting to tremble and shake from nervousness and I knew I couldn't take the stifling pressure of the bar for another second.
I bolted up out of my seat and ran out of the noisy little place and down the dirt road that faded into a field of wild grass only a hundred yards down from the crowded bar. I stopped running as soon as I reached the open field and I began walking almost leisurely in the still, humid air. Oh, it felt so good to be outside, man, just like I'd always felt every time I'd walked the fields at night when we still had our little farm.
As I walked I was suddenly conscious of a rustling sound on the other side of some thick bushes nearby. I walked over quietly, crouched down and moved almost silently in among the bushes until I stole up by the side of a narrow little dirt pathway.
There, walking by in the hot damp night, was the most voluptuous creature I had ever seen. The strain of her dark chocolate arms carrying a load of firewood caused her sweating breasts to heave like dark plump melons trying to free themselves from the barely covering bodice of her threadbare dress. The moonlight filtered, through the damp humid haze and illuminated the naked erotic silhouette of her mature, tawny beauty beneath her thin dress. I could see every inch of her sweet flesh dreamily outlined against the tropical night and I felt my excited penis stiffening in anticipation as I glanced up at her exotic face and saw the subdued cast of her eyelids and the lurid grin on her full soft lips, as if she were thinking of some stud's big hard prick as she walked along alone on the trail between the bushes and reached the ground in front of me, only inches away from where I was hiding.
My whole being surged with a rush of savage joy as I leapt from the bushes and tackled her roughly. She clawed and scratched like an angry tigress as I slapped her violently again and again and again. She had her eyes closed in a shocked uncontrollable fury and she kicked and scratched at me as I tore at her old cotton dress. The fragile fabric ripped apart from the top down and her immense hardened nipples jumped out, glistening in the night air. I kept on slapping her and stared hungrily at her huge lustful breasts, then I dodged her strong flailing arms and pushed my open mouth against one stiffly pointed firm tit. I sucked with all my might on her throbbing salty nipple and she opened her eyes in a stunned reaction to my disarming tongue and saw my face for the first time.
In the next instant she stopped clawing and fighting with me as she realized that I was a white man. In that moment her whole manner changed and she lay still and fell into a stoic silence. I guess she knew it was no use-a scream might only bring more white men and it would certainly bring no help from goddamn Biloxi.
I turned her over, ripped the remains of her dress off of her naked splendor, and started spanking her perfectly shaped, tender meaty ass. The moist pink crevasse shining between her rounded ebony cheeks drove me mad and I wanted to see her sweet nude behind squeezing its cheeks and moving up and down under my sharp slaps. I knew the sight of this Black woman's smooth fanny moving all around would be as exciting as anything I had ever seen and I jammed the middle finger of one hand into her hot hairy twat as I slapped the resiliently soft flesh of her ass soundly with my other hand.
Her smoldering pussy began squeezing firmly with damp rippling undulations of smooth inner flesh all around my rapidly pumping finger, and her ass was gyrating hypnotically and mimicking the writhing, squeezing rhythm of her eager cunt, as she gave in to the inevitable and let herself enjoy what she knew was coming.
She moaned in a throaty rich voice, "Lemme see it, lemme see yoah cock, daddy."
I whipped out my huge phallus and she gasped greedily, smiling back over her shoulder at the sight of my throbbing pink erection and arching her ass sexily up at it until she was on her knees.
She sighed yearningly, "Aaaaahhh come to mama, sweet sex, put it in, fuck me good, daddy, shove yoah cock to me, honey!"
I pushed the head of my cock into the dank jungle of her moist pubic bush and soon felt the excruciating pleasure of her swollen moistened labia opening gradually and massaging my massive purplish knob of cock flesh with erotic softness. My long trembling prick slid deeper and deeper as I pumped it in luxuriously from behind her and stared at her bouncing, squeezing Black derriere. I could not believe how good she felt, how warm and smooth and tight it was to be fucking her like a dog with my crazed prick plunging into the hilt and fucking her wonderfully sucking cunt as hard and fast as I could. Oh, man, what a body she had, what a sweet ever lovin' soulful hunk of beautiful dark-hued flesh.
And, God, was she loving it, squeezing every hot inch of my big thick pecker with the pliant sucking inner muscles of her beautifully endowed pussy. She screamed with the animal intensity of pure blissful lust, "Lawdie, aaaaaaaahh don' stop, don' stop fucking' me, honey, fuck me, fuck me, fuck me, oooooooooohhh get it on, daddy, get it on!! "
I held her soft curving hips to keep her impaled against me with each savage thrust and I banged the hell out of her, feeling her arched body tremble with pleasure and watching her obscenely moving ass glistening with sweat as it pumped up and down and all around.
She chanted loudly and hoarsely, "YEESSSS, YEEEESSSS, LOVE IT, DADDY, OOOOOOOO-OOOOOHHHHH, GOD, I'MMMMM CUUU-UUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMIIIIINNNNN-
NNNGGGGG!! ! "
In the next sweet second, with my bursting cock drenched in the juices of her spewing climax, I at last felt the pagan ecstasy of my hot jiz squirting deep into her soft pink pussy.
I pulled out and rolled away onto my back. Before I could even slow down my breathing, the aroused, incredibly tempting girl went down on me passionately, sucking crazily on my prick with her deep hot mouth. I stared at her endlessly moving lusty buttocks and felt her work me into a new erection in only a few timeless moments. As soon as I was as taut and hard as a steel pole she worked her head between my ass and the ground, with the back of her head resting on the dirt, her full sweet lips framing my asshole, and her hot tongue eagerly reaming my anus as it licked and darted in and out while she hand-massaged my maddened penis. I shuddered on the edge of cumming as she changed her position and I saw her pink tongue move back to my stiff cock as her greedy mouth rose to its swollen bursting head and swallowed it almost whole. In a matter of seconds I shot my deeply satisfying creamy load deep down into her hot wet hungry throat.
As she lifted her smiling face from my still-excited tool I played with myself happily. She got up and danced before me, rubbing her breasts and pussy uncontrollably, there on the dirt path between the bushes. I massaged my cock and felt it start to tingle and stiffen once again.
She turned, sticking out her full brown ass and weaving it around for my pleasure, squeezing it erotically as she fingered her pussy and laughed lovingly, "AAAAaaaaaaaahhhh daddy, daddy ahm goin' to fuck you all night!"
Which was just what she did.
CHAPTER SEVEN
The next day I sat with the rest of the guys in the large base chapel for Sunday morning services. I held my official hymn book open with bleary-eyed indifference and savored the wild memory of my long night with the wonderful Black girl I had stumbled upon out in the fields. She had responded incredibly, thrilled with the size and the power of my long slick prick, and determined to give me a night of uninhibited, naked, orgiastic bliss. God, the way she had danced, fingering herself in a fit of lewd frenzy and calling out the sweetest, dirtiest things to me in a ceaseless flow of tantalizingly coarse profanities as she wiggled her juicy Black ass tauntingly about for the sheer joy of letting me watch her lurid fanny while I stroked myself rhythmically. Mmmmm, to think that before yesterday I was actually going nuts from horniness, actually almost willing to pay for a woman who couldn't compare to the lovely creature I had found out of sheer luck. I had made her mine with the help of a little delightful violence and now she stood ready to help me turn those hot lonely nights into a paradise of erotic abandon. I blessed my luck and scratched at my pecker through the loose cotton of my fatigues. She had rubbed the skin near off my swollen prick with her passionate love making. I felt the soreness of my limp penis and chuckled to myself, remembering how she had drained my boiling semen from the deepest recesses of my excited balls with the smoothly squeezing undulations of her humid cunt, and with the unbelievable, completely swallowing, warm black magic of her wide, generously-shaped, deep wet sucking mouth and obscenely flicking, sizzling pink tongue. But her ass, ah, her sweet, plump rear end had been the ripest plum of all, and I pictured again how my cock looked buried deeply in the tight squirming hole between her round smooth chocolate cheeks. My hottest load of all must have been the one that sprayed her bowels. True, by that time my uniform shirt was like a clinging second skin over my exhausted, sweat-drenched torso, and I had already exploded wildly in her other two holes, but her ass was, well, all I can say, brother, is you've never seen an ass like the bountifully firm, Black behind that belonged to that woman.
After chapel, I was called to the CO's office, and, after waiting almost an hour outside with the typists and file clerks, he showed me into his inner office with a warm smile, sat me down in front of his massive regimental desk, and told me that due to my excellent service record and steady progress as an exceptionally dedicated soldier he was proud to inform me of my new promotion to the rank of corporal. I was astonished. Jesus, I was being promoted as fast as they could promote me and I wondered whether my responsibilities as a corporal in Vietnam would still permit me to leave the other soldiers from time to time for some private jungle fun with those delicate little women. Fuck Vietnam, I laughed to myself. Man, now that I was a corporal that would mean longer and more frequent leaves, more chances to fuck and suck all through the night with my sweet chocolate angel.
But my increasing anticipation of erotic endless nights with my lush negress was totally shattered with the CO's next words. The gruff officer's smile broadened, "Congratulations, Felton, not only have you just gotten yourself a promotion, but you're also being transferred out of this swamp."
I was stunned, "Where?"
The CO laughed, "Sunny Minneapolis."
I shivered in my field jacket as I walked with my buddy, Johnny, down the snow sprinkled residential street across from Minnesota State University. I'd met Johnny at my new base a few months after I'd arrived in the Twin Cities from the south. I was just as shy and quiet as always when I arrived at my new post, but the tall lanky soldier, who was the corporal in the adjoining barracks, took a liking to me immediately, and before I knew it I had myself my first real friend.
Johnny's personality was almost the opposite of mine. He was brash and gregarious, the kind of outspoken person I guess I'd always wanted to be. I didn't know why he wanted to be my friend cause I was sure that to listen to him tell it there was nothing in the world as smooth as ol' Johnny from L.A.
Well, not originally from L.A. That was the one thing Johnny and I had in common, the same roots. He was also a California farm boy and he too had a feel for the earth and its beauties. He likewise had a feel for another kind of beauty, the kind that's referred to as feminine charms. Though he'd been born on the farm and lived there until he was twelve, he'd moved to L.A. with his folks when the bank foreclosed on their little farm. Now his father was a rich man. He'd made good on his vow to someday own the bank that had taken his farm away and that amazed all of his friends and, of course, his whole family.
Johnny worshipped his dad and had obviously inherited his determination and aggressiveness. He said he'd lived in L.A. for a good long time and knew how to hustle big city ass like a champ. I was certainly pleased by that news since I was flipping out over the loss of my sensuous Black mistress. I wanted something sweet and new and fine and I asked Johnny if he couldn't maybe fix me up with some little snow bunny in Minneapolis.
He had laughed delightedly, "Why pal o'mine, why did you think I was telling you about what a hustler I was? Of course I'll turn you on to a chick. We'll get two at once and play switchies, huh, Jimbo? Yeah, baby, I'll tell ya', I've been pretty busy here at the base, but I'll scout around with ya' this weekend and I'm sure I'll get us a couple of sweet young things."
As it turned out we spent the next weekend hunting through the bars and never really coming close to scoring with the ladies. I hadn't had so much fun in a longtime though, and I really enjoyed having a friend to ass around with. Oh, sometimes Johnny would get a little carried away with his hustling and I'd feel a little strange and out of place. It was strange for two guys like us to be friends since he was standing there coming on like a Carnival show barker and I was sitting mute with my drink like the freak in the show. But still it was great to have a friend and just sit there and have fun with the girls in the bars.
For the first time in my life I was just like everybody else in the all-important sense of having someone to share my experiences with. Another human being was actually willing to put up with my oddness and be my friend, and I was grateful enough towards Johnny that I didn't feel any resentment over his not being able to come through and fix me up with a chick.
But he was determined to show me that he really was a hustler and promised me that I'd have a woman the very next weekend. All week at the base he kept telling me he was scouting in the city for a couple of chicks every night when he drove into Minneapolis to pick up a fifth of scotch for the CO. He told me not to waste any energy jerking off cause I would need to be fresh for the chick he would get me. I played along with him even though I figured that the last weekend had proven he wasn't any hustler and I might just have to wait until I was shipped to Vietnam to get any new pussy. The same persistent dreams of beating and fucking a pretty Vietnamese girl revisited me with a new intensity. The experience with the naked Negress in Biloxi and the busy adjustment to Minneapolis and my friend, Johnny, had all kept my mind away from its usual activity of imagining brutal and sweet adventures, but now that I felt I might be stranded without any new chicks all over again, I began to become increasingly horny once more and dreamed every night of the possibilities of lewd pleasures in Vietnam.
As much as I wanted to go to the war myself, I kept my mouth shut when Johnny would start spouting on how much he hated the war and how he hoped he wouldn't have to go. After a while he realized I didn't agree with him on the subject and he asked my why I had let him carry on against the war. I told him he had a right to his opinion and besides that things like that shouldn't break up friendships. He grabbed my hand and shook it warmly and said he was glad to be my friend cause I allowed him to have his own opinion. I almost told him right then that the only reason I dug the war was because the prospect of rape was a strong incentive to me, but, despite the close friendship I felt towards him, I could not bring myself to tell anyone that I had personal tendencies toward rape and so I left it where it was. The irony of it all is that I've reflected on the war since I've been here in jail, and though I'm not a political man, I've come to realize that the nature of that war is of a sort that would make it only natural for a young rapist like me to have been attracted to the thing that's happening in Vietnam. 'Nuff said.
Anyway, to my great surprise, Johnny finally informed me towards the end of the week that he had met two girls while in Minneapolis on his nightly errand. That's where we were headed now as we walked all bundled up against the cold, past the wrought iron brightly-lit street lamps.
My tall friend was waving his hand at me as we walked, and he was discoursing excitedly about the two we were about to visit. His hands shot out in front of him and he outlined the shape of a warm curvy female in the cold air, and said, "Wait till you see 'em, Jimbo. Now remember, the big redhead's mine, but you won't believe how fine the little brunette is. We can't lose, brother, we can't lose!"
He stopped in front of an old brownstone apartment and pointed up at a frosted window. He said elatedly, "There it is, sport. Let's go get 'em."
We climbed the stairs, knocked, and were soon led into a cozy little living room by a tall willowy redhead who held Johnny's hand and introduced herself to me as "Simi", I said, "Yeah, my name is Jim," and scuffled my feet nervously, wondering where my date was.
I heard a movement on the couch behind me and turned to see a pretty little brunette smiling up at me. She got up from the couch and offered me her hand. "I'm Terry," she blushed.
It was an effort to even get my name out cause I was practically speechless with admiration, as I glanced down over her firmly packed figure, tantalizingly outlined under a short flowered shift. She was the perfect image of the creamy, sexy little college Cheerleader and I wasn't that surprised when she told me a few minutes later that she actually was a cheerleader at Minnesota State.
We stood in the kitchen while she prepared drinks and talked about how Simi was the prize drama student at the university, and how cold it must be for me in Minneapolis after being in Mississippi, and how much she hoped I didn't mind that she hadn't put her hair up. All in all, her head wasn't anything to get excited about, but her body was a different matter all together. Her long black hair settled around her softly-molded shoulders and from then on down the outlined curves and rounded mounds of flesh just didn't quit. It was easy to see that she was naked under her shift because her nipples were crowning her high full breasts with stiffly-pointed outlines pushed against the fabric of her dress and, when she turned with the tray of drinks and led me back into the living room, I could see distinctly the dewy fresh symmetry of her long curving gorge and her firm, creamy, bare buttocks underneath the clinging shift.
Johnny and Simi were kneeling by the phonograph, flipping through the albums and pulling out the ones with soft romantic music to place them on the stack on the spindle. Terry handed them their drinks and Johnny pushed the little lever to start the phonograph off on its seductive stream of uninterrupted music.
The first love song came blaring out of the record player as Simi and Johnny sat down on the couch and Terry and I laid casually on the Persian rug next to each other, drinking nervously and listening to the loud music. Johnny had cleverly turned the volume up so that conversation was impossible and we would all have to end up occupying ourselves with other, more pleasant activities.
Terry and I were laying on our stomachs and, whenever she turned her head away from me to take another sip of her gimlet or say something to Simi, I glanced at her barely-covered ass and pressed my groin down against the carpet. She was really a luscious bitch and she looked accommodating enough, considering the way she had chosen to clothe herself. I could sense that she liked me and I found myself hoping that she'd give in willingly and not play any teasing, no-touch games with me. I hoped that for once in my life I wouldn't have to get rough to have my little piece of ass. Things had taken a change lately and I had already made the first friend I'd ever known. Maybe my relations with chicks might improve too, and Terry would be the one to finally give me what I wanted without forcing me to be violent.
A new record came on and Terry recognized the voice that was singing the sad love song. She put her hand on my forearm and said, "Tod Rialto, my favorite singer." Then she looked at me expectantly.
I missed my cue, not realizing she wanted me to ask her for a dance, and said, "Who the hell is Tod Rialto?"
She took her hand away and put her palm up to her mouth, trying to suppress her giggling. Then she took my hand, motioned as if she wanted me to help her up, and smiled, "Never mind who he is, honey. Come on, let's dance."
We stood up, embraced, and began moving slowly around the room in a warm close dance. I smelled the perfume of her hair and held her tighter. She tightened her embrace around the back of my neck and I dropped my hands and clasped them against the gently arched small of her back just above her out-swelling cheeks. I was lost in the feel of her body against mine and the soft shy look she gave me as I pressed my clothed cock against the soft young pussy under her flimsy shift.
She took her big brown eyes away from me for a moment to see what her roommate was doing. Simi and Johnny were kissing each other eagerly, locked in each other's arms over on the couch. Terry looked back at me, gave me a little nod, and I followed her into the dark bedroom, closing the door behind me.
She sat down on the bed and I sat down next to her and took her in my arms, kissing her hungrily. She sucked yearningly on my hot tongue and laid back on the bed, pulling me on top of her. Our tongues were lost in each other's mouths as she arched her back up and I slid my hands under her, squeezing the sensuously moving cheeks of her warm round ass, and pumping my bulging crotch against the curved right ridge of bone above her damp cunt.
Her moans filled my ears, "ooooohhh, Jimmy, ooooohhhhh, move move, push it, push sooooooo-oooo gooooooodddddd mmmmmmmmmmm aaaa-aaaaaaaahh yeeeeeeeeessssss that way that way go-oooooooooooooooooodddd I'll cum if you don't stop, Oooooooooohhhhhhh honey, honey, I'll cummm sooooo sweeeeetttttt. Do it, do it, press hard aaaaaaaaaaahhhhh HARD! OOooooooohhhh-hh do it, do it, mmmmmmmmmmmmmm, make me cum!! "
I was just grooving', feeling so good as I listened to her soft purring voice and reached to pull down her panties.
To my amazement, she stopped my hand and also ceased the voluptuous movement of the sweet area between her widely spread thighs. I lifted up my head and looked down into her pretty face as she stared up at me like I should be a good boy, and said, "I can't do it with you tonight. I-I've got my period."
I stared angrily down into the pale beauty of her face and asked directly, "Listen, you trying to tease me?"
She studied my face and there was a note of fear in her voice as she answered, "No, no, it's true. Really, honey, I mean, I'll make you cum with my hand if you want."
I felt my cock stiffening fully as I shouted down at her, "You little asshole! Do you think you can lead me on like that and get away with it?"
She gasped in shock at the rudeness of my words and slapped me self-righteously with a petulant expression on her face. That did it, man, that really pissed me off and I slapped her back hard on the cheek.
She turned white when I hit her, recognizing my refusal to accept her shit, and she began trying to get away from me, kicking, biting, clawing at me, and screaming, "Simi! SIMI! SIMMMEEE!! "
But the record player was blaring above every other sound and I unzipped and jerked down my pants with one hand while I slapped her over and over with the other. Dodging her teeth and then her nails, I moved my body down until my head hung just above her panties. I ripped them down over her rounded thighs and down past her knees, then dipped my face into her moist, brown-haired, silken bush and sucked hungrily on her slightly bloody, menstruating twat. Mm, it tasted doubly good because I knew she was shocked and repulsed by my uninhibited licking and sucking on her salty, bloody crotch.
She was screaming, "NO! NOOOO! YOU PIG! YOU ANIMAL!! "
Her closed fists beat against the back of my neck and shoulders as she struggled to sit up, but I was too strong for her, reaching my hands up to shove her back down as I licked her smooth pussy. I pumped my flushed swollen erection against the cool white sheet, grabbed the withdrawal string of her buried tampax between my teeth, pulled it out of her warm wet cunt, and flung it aside onto the bed with an abrupt toss of my head.
I reached up and slapped her as hard as I could to silence her piercing screams. She was dazed by my blow and before she could gather her senses, I turned onto my left side, slid up until my head was next to hers on the pillow, and turned her on her side facing away from me. I held her securely against me my cupping a huge paw over one hot swollen breast, as I positioned the head of my cock just below her creamy buttocks at the entrance to her blood-moistened vagina.
She was no virgin and the extra lubrication of her menstrual flow made it all that much easier to push the bloated head of my prick between her stretching cuntal lips and feel myself sliding into a tight and tender paradise as I entered her smooth pussy from behind. Terry responded immediately to the feel of my long hard staff driving in all the way to the hilt. The whole length of my completely buried, screwing penis was tortured with the rippling embrace of her tightly massaging inner flesh and I felt her smooth ass pumping back against my abdomen obscenely, as she sucked hungrily on my huge cock with her soft, squeezing cunt. I pumped my lengthy weapon rapidly inside her sweetly clinging pussy and cupped both of her heaving, uplifted breasts in my rough palms, tweaking and pinching her throbbing pink nipples with my fingertips.
She moaned and pushed her naked body back hard against me, rolling over on top of me and writhing on her back with her nipples soaring towards the ceiling and her closed thighs squeezing at the immense cock I was pumping into her from beneath.
Her voice smoldered with passion as she sighed, "OOoooooohhhh God, soooooo good sooooo big, fuck me daddy hot cock hard deep aaaaaaaaaahhh-hhhhh fuck hard, fuck, fuck! ! "
I lay there panting with joy and entranced with the upturned silhouetted profile of the lovely head next to mine, squeezing and fondling her firm smooth tits, pinching her bursting nipples, and letting her bounce up and down, constantly massaging my hot prick in the wriggling vise of her tight pussy and creamy thighs. It was so good, lasting so long.
My eyes soon focused on the darkness beyond Terry's lovely moaning profile and there, standing by the side of the bed, was a tall naked Simi bending over to drool at the exposed thick base of my wildly pumping cock and jamming two fingers rapidly in and out of her soft, glistening cunt.
My face lit up at the unexpected thrill of watching Simi standing there in all of her nude sensuous-ness and playing with herself unashamedly, as she watched me fucking Terry. I was with two naked women for the first time in my life and I pumped insanely up into Terry's soaking pussy and stared breathlessly at Simi's lewdly moving body.
She smiled down into my burning eyes with a wicked grin, then drew her hot fingers out of her moist snatch, turned around, spread her cheeks, and sat down on my upturned face with her asshole against my lips and her red-haired cunt pressed against Terry's open sucking mouth. I swabbed Simi's anus with my tongue and drove my almost bursting penis ever faster up into Terry's wildly squeezing pussy, feeling how she too was unbearably thrilled by the taste of her roommate's other sweet hole. Simi went crazy with delight, moaning and gasping, as I felt a tremendous pressure build up in my balls and then explode in a wonderful burst of boiling jiz deep up inside Terry's frantically climaxing pussy. I grunted and felt the last burst of cream squirt out of my cock, listening to the gurgling, slurping sound of Terry drinking up Simi's spewing cum juices with her mouth, while she sucked my semen up deep inside her dripping pussy.
After the three of us had stretched out exhausted on the bed and drifted off to sleep for awhile, I woke to find Simi's head laying on my stomach and I realized she was staring at my cock.
She was masturbating slowly, warmly, moaning softly over and over, "Dream cock, sweet dream cock."
I stroked her hair happily and then remembered and asked, "Hey, Simi, what happened to Johnny?"
She smiled up at me without interrupting her deeply probing finger from its play, and she laughed softly as she answered me. "He couldn't get a hard-on, poor bastard."
I laughed to myself as Simi swallowed my penis with her warm sucking mouth, and I vowed to tell Johnny only of Terry's sweet attentions. The truth of the matter would be too much for any normal big city hustler to take.
CHAPTER EIGHT
When I got back to the base at noon the next day, I wanted to tell every poor horny soldier I saw all about last night and the morning after. Oh, the sweet dawn, with the snow drifting down on the other side of the hazy window and the warmth inside the room, lying on the soft downy bed with my two warm mistresses close beside me. Hmmm, man, you wouldn't believe those two girls when they got going. Ah, the luxury of lying back with my head propped up on the pillow, watching Terry dreamily sucking my cock while Simi danced for me, her full white cheeks glistening in the soft morning light as she described in an inviting voice just how much she wanted me to shove my big cock into her ass. And, mmm, the way my hot prick had slid in and out of her baby soft bottom as I fulfilled her wish less than an hour later, right there on the kitchen floor. I'm telling you, man, it was all just too much. From the time I woke up to the time I left their place, I had almost five hours of warm sultry sex with both of them. Aside from breakfast there was hardly a moment when they weren't taking turns sucking and fucking on my worshipped penis. Minutes after I finished my morning meal I had Simi's round fanny for dessert and then went into the living room and sat down on the couch to have Simi suck me up into an erection again while Terry fingered herself naughtily and writhed voluptuously on the Persian rug. By the time I got out of there, I had fucked Terry's creamy ass, then Simi's silken cunt, and then watched them eat each other for almost an hour, stroking myself slowly for a long, long time until my overworked cock was erect once again and quickly boiled over from the sight of my pair of nymphomaniac coeds licking and sucking each other's raw swollen pussies.
Even though it had been a casual, long-winded orgy, my prick was now as sore as hell and my legs were less than steady as I sat down on a bench near my barracks and heaved a self-satisfied sigh. I watched all the GI's marching out on the drill field or taking a permitted break like me. I had a pretty good idea of the way most of those guys felt about me. I was Jim Felton, the rube, the farm boy, the outcast. Boy, would they shit in their pants if they had any idea of the way I'd made out with two beautiful girls at once, if they knew I'd kept the six soft holes of a pair of warm round girls satisfied and dripping with gratitude. But ironically, I knew I was too shy to say anything. The only guy I ever talked to was Johnny and I'd already sworn to tell him only about Terry.
Just then I saw my lanky friend walking by and staring down at a slip of paper in his hands.
I called out, "Hey, Johno!"
Johnny turned, "Oh, hey, Jimbo. Shit, did you hear the news?"
I blushed a little, thinking of what Simi had said about 'that poor bastard', then replied in my most diplomatic tone, "No, no, I didn't, Johno. What's that?"
Johnny handed me the slip of paper and sighed, "I guess this here is one of the risks of being in the army. There's one of these waiting for you too, over in your barracks."
I read the orders. We were being transferred for one month's standby duty in Los Angeles, then on to Vietnam for a year-and-a-half visit to the front lines.
Dammit, wouldn't you know it? Sure, I was finally getting the battle assignment I'd been waiting for, but it was just my luck that it had to arrive the day after I'd finally found not one, but two delicious playmates. I cursed the fact that I'd never get to fuck and suck with Terry and Simi again, just as I'd cursed having to leave my little chocolate angel in Mississippi the day after I'd found her.
The strangest part of it all was that, now that my orders had finally come through and I had only a month to wait until I could fuck around with those Asiatic women, I suddenly felt unbearably frustrated. I even began to resent the army a little cause they had the power over me to move me from place to place as easily as they shipped rifles or uniforms. I was just another commodity in their arsenal, one soldier, standard type, and I realize fully that the army was a two-way proposition. Despite the fact that I was starting to go crazy with eager anticipation about the naked jungle victims I would soon enjoy, for all I knew I myself could become another kind of victim the day after I arrived, and end up being shipped back to the States in a pine box along with the GI's letters to their wives and a few visiting congressmen.
But it wasn't the fear of death that had me so edgy. No I guess I was beginning to feel just how much I had missed giving a woman a real beating. Now that I knew I could soon beat up as many sweet little things as I wanted to, I realized how long it had been since I had enjoyed my inclination towards violence to the fullest. Terry had submitted to me after only minor hassling, a slap here and a shove there, and Simi had joined in without any violence on my part whatsoever. And, of course, my lush Negress in Mississippi had stopped fighting with me as soon as she made out what race I was in the humid darkness. My thoughts drifted back to San Francisco. It seemed ages to me since I had crouched behind a crate by the wharf and then pounced on that lovely Chinese virgin. But, as sweet as she was, she had gone down after only one blow of my fist.
Slowly, the vision of Conine's naked beauty filled my mind. She had been the last woman, hell, the only woman, that I'd really worked out on with my frustrated fists. I had purged her raspberry-blonde cunt bush, her plump creamy ass, and her sweet screams of masochistic passion from my mind, and I realized now, as I felt my cock stiffening, just why I had blocked the earthy Scandinavian masseuse from my memory. She was just too damn painful to remember cause she was the only female I had ever known who had made me feel that my violence was perfectly natural, even desirable. Her warm soft pussy had been the first I had ever licked and sucked and chewed and bit. Her hot, tight, smooth asshole had been the first that I'd ever shoved my stiff hard prick into, and her love of my bruising fists and palms against her firm white flesh and been something totally unique and incredibly exhilarating.
For a moment the wild notion of sneaking away from the base and taking a plane to San Francisco to see Corrine tantalized my aroused brain, but the memory of Nelson's left hook discouraged my momentary fantasy. Besides, I knew the army would be keeping a close watch on all soldiers who had received their orders to get ready for Vietnam cause there were certain GI's, Johnny among them, who weren't exactly pleased with the idea of going off to fight in Southeast Asia. I figured that I just better shove Conine back into the darker recesses of my memory since I would probably never get to beat her and fuck her again.
I struggled to erase her from my thoughts, but even after I had succeeded there was a desperately hungry feeling in the pit of my stomach and I clenched my fists out of second nature, just as I had always done before I raped a woman. Well, I'd just have to try and cool down and be patient. After all, I'd be getting as much sweet ass as I could possibly handle soon enough. Yeah, soon enough I'd get my long-awaited chance to brutally rape whatever sweet little Vietnamese chick happened to cross my path.
In L.A., we had permission to leave the base and go into the city every night. "Standby duty" was just a nice name for what you might call the GI's last down home orgy. It was standard Army policy to let us war-bound boys have one last crack at the local talent, and as far as I could see Los Angeles was a pretty good place to get it on.
Me and ol' Johno were completely gassed by the surplus of pretty women in the West's biggest and most glamorous metropolis. It was nothing new to Johnny since it was his home town, but even he confessed to not realizing just how fine a playground L.A. was until he had finally returned to it now after almost a full year away. He also said the women of the city looked all that much sweeter to him now that the army would shortly be sending him to "mother-fuckin' Vietnam".
Every night, just before the sun went down, we'd take the bus together from the base into the spacious bustling city. I would stare out the window and just bust a gut over all the sexy creatures who lived and worked in the city. We'd see shapely, well-groomed Wilshire Boulevard secretaries just getting off work and climbing into their Mustangs to go home and do whatever delightful things they did behind the closed doors of their luxurious, high-rise apartments. There were young girls driving back from the beach in shiny new convertibles, with nothing on but a brief bikini, a brilliant smile, and a rich, alluring tan . . . little hippie chicks strolling down the Sunset Strip with their firm young boobs braless and bouncing under a thin T-shirt and their luscious little fannies sweetly outlined under their worn blue jeans . . . hundreds of would-be singers and starlets who'd been the prettiest girls in their home towns and had come here to get a job in an insurance company, live in a shoe box apartment, and go out every night to walk down Hollywood Boulevard and dream their dreams of fame and glamour, parading down the wide neon-lit thoroughfare like a festival of the best tits and ass America had to offer.
Johnny and I would get off of the bus on Hollywood Boulevard, and determinedly hit the coffee shops and then the bars with our little act. We would spot two unattached dolls and seat ourselves next to them, with me smiling quietly and my extroverted friend rapping their pretty little ears off about what brave soldiers we were and how lonely it felt to know that we might never return again from the glorious battle we would shortly be thrown into.
But after two whole weeks of trying to find some pussy, it seemed that my friend truly wasn't such a great hustler after all. He had even stopped at his folk's house one night, after about a week of frustrated girl hunting, ostensibly to have dinner with his dad and mom, but really to get his little book of chick's phone numbers out of his room. The fact that he needed that kind of an excuse to bring himself to go see his folks was an indication of just how upset he was. He had always dug his folks, but now seeing them was of minor importance in his obsessed state of mind. He hadn't even invited me along because he said that they would want to get to know me and we'd end up spending the whole evening talking about good soil instead of getting ourselves a couple of fine chicks. There was a desperation in his actions that I had never seen before and I was sure it was cause he was so upset about having to go to Vietnam. I had dinner in a coffee shop and when he arrived with his little black book, he hardly said "boo" to me before he headed into the phone booth off in the corner to call up the first of the long list of names in his book. He was on the phone for over an hour, gesturing with his nervous hands as he talked behind the glass door, and only leaving the booth occasionally to get more change and wink towards me assuredly, as if to say it was a sure thing that we'd have two chicks in no time. Needless to say, his phone calls netted zero.
After that night, Johnny's intense desperation and hominess blossomed into what I could only call madness. I was incredibly horny myself, realizing that I was conceivably missing my last chance to fuck another American girl, but I didn't have too much time to think about my own building frustration cause I had to keep a close watch on Johnny and calm him down whenever possible by ordering him a drink or suggesting we go someplace else.
By the end of our second week in L.A., Johnny had changed into an unbelievably irritable human being and it was beginning to place a heavy strain on our friendship. The bars we had hit were just no use cause I was always too shy to pitch in with the hustling and Johnny was too upset about Vietnam to do anything but make an ass out of himself. I stayed silent each time my friend struck out with the ladies cause I figured it was the kind thing to do. But in his desperation I could see he had begun thinking that I was secretly scorning him with my silence, and even started resenting me because of it.
I wanted to tell him that I wasn't looking upon him with scorn, but, as was always the case with me, I just didn't know how to say what I wanted to say. The truth is that I was a lot more worried about his mental stability than I was about whether or not he could satisfy my personal needs by getting me a woman. As horny as I was, I figured I'd get plenty of tail in Vietnam, and the most important thing to me was to not lose the companionship of the only friend I had ever known. But there was no way I could express myself to Johnny, what with my lack of articulation and his touchy psychological state, and before I ever had the chance to tell him that I still respected him and that everything was cool, our friendship was irrevocably destroyed.
It happened one night at the end of that tense second week. We had hit a bar on Santa Monica Boulevard and started hustling two good-looking chicks only minutes after we walked in. They sat there and listened to Johnny's "poor soldier boy" rap for a half an hour, and, when he finished his magnificent pitch they broke up laughing, told us they were both hookers and weren't under any military obligation to give us some free ass, and then got up and left the place.
Johnny stared at the vacant doorway in a fury, then looked back at me, saw that I was as stone-faced as usual, grabbed me by the front of my shirt, and exploded, "Listen, Jimbo, I know you're laughing at me. Well, you can go find your own piece of ass from now on, you rotten mother-fucker!" He let go of my shirt, grabbed his Army cap from the bar, and stormed out.
It was late now and I sat at the bar nursing a bourbon. I felt sad, sick and angry all at the same time. Sad because the only guy who'd ever been my friend had just walked out on me, sick because I knew I might not have lost his friendship if it weren't for the fact that I was the kind of freak who could never say the right thing when it was needed, and angry because it had all happened over a couple of goddamn females. It was always the females who caused all the trouble in this world and I knew I would have killed those two snooty bitches if they had happened to come back in through that door. My cock literally ached for naked pussy, but I knew now that just fucking and sucking wasn't enough to quell my desperation. I needed to beat a woman, beat her bad, beat her over and over.
A moment later I felt a warm thigh brush against mine. I looked up into her pretty face just as her lush mouth was opening and saying, "Come on, soldier, cheer up. I'm alone, too. Come, buy me a drink."
I ordered her a gimlet, then sat there over my bourbon and listened to her nervous attempts at conversation. I didn't pretend to be anything other than I was cause I was much too upset to summon up a false facade of smiles and bullshit. Consequently, I don't think I said anything to her except my name, but I got her story. She was a plump but firm school teacher named Rosa Di Sylveste and she looked to be about thirty-three or so. She said it was the first time she had ever tried to pick someone up in a bar and then she blushed. I ordered another bourbon and watched her eyes as she talked. Whenever I glanced down at her ripe bosom or her sweetly rounded thighs I could see her body shiver slightly and when I looked back up into her eyes they were moist deep pools of lust. From time to time I saw her nervously glancing at my crotch, then quickly taking another sip of her cocktail. I knew she was a woman who wanted to fuck for days, not just hours.
By the time the bar closed there was an unsaid understanding between us that we were going to ball. I clenched my fist cause, whether Rosa knew it or not, I wanted to ball in my own special, violent way. She gave me the keys to her Impala as we walked out the door towards the parking lot. We got in the car and she slid over and sat next to me, with her thigh pressing against mine.
I turned on the ignition and she said, in a new and seductive tone of voice, "Santa Monica Freeway, two blocks up. We'll go to the beach, honey."
As soon as we were on the Freeway the hungry, full-bodied woman unzipped my pants, pulled out my cock, and started squeezing its warming, stiffening flesh with her soft, smooth palm. She watched it grow as she fingered herself, holding her meaty grinding thighs together as her finger picked up speed and pumped rapidly in and out of the tender pinkish cunt that was surrounded by a huge pubic bush of sexy black hair. I glanced at her lewd masturbation and tore my eyes back to the road, trying to concentrate on my driving instead of the sight of her undulating, soft white loins and the way my hot hard erection felt in her massaging palm.
She was talking softly, spilling out all of her pent-up desires in slow throaty goans. "Aaaaaahhh, baaaaaaby, mmmmmmm I've laid in bed night after night after night, sticking everything I could find in my sweet lonely puuuuuussssssyyyy and dreaming aaaaaaaaaahhhhh dreaming of a cock like yours. Cock, cock, cock, cock, aaaaaahhhhhh you're sooooooooo big oooooooooohhhh baby, baby, baaaaaaaaby. Mooooooooowe, move around a little, honey mmmmmmmmmmmmm let me watch you mooooooving ooooooohhhhh move like that, that, yeeeeeeeeeessssssssss that's right, goooo-oooodddddd gooooooooooddddddd make me cum, yeeeeeeeeeeeeesssss yeeeeeeeeeeeesssssssss keep moving like that aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh you're sooooooo big and hot and haaaaaaaaarrrrrrdd ooo-oooooooooohhhhhh yes yes yes ooooooooooooo-ohhhhhhhhhh God God GOD!! ! ! "
By the time we finally reached the beach Rosa had cum three times. I had never seen such intensity in a woman's masturbation and I know that if I hadn't had the strength to push her eager hand and mouth away whenever I was about to cum, that I would easily have run right off of the freeway, totally lost in the inviting web of her contagious lust.
Now, as she ran ahead of me onto the deserted beach, I clenched my fists, hardly able to walk because of the ache in my pants. She stood before me on the cool sand, smiling luridly and dancing lewdly as she quickly undressed.
She eyed the bulge in my pants as she moved hypnotically, telling me of her deep passionate need for total sex in a choking, trembling voice, "Oh Jimmy, oh baby, I'll let you fuck me over and over in my big, smooth, soft ass. I want to suck your long hot juicy prick, suck your sweet round balls, suck the shit out of your ass. God, I need your cock, honey, need to feel it all hot and hard and deep inside me!"
She was now totally nude and her lush curves almost blinded me. Her whole body was alive with obscene, imploring undulations, as she continued her erotic chant in a husky, lust-contorted tone of voice, "AAaaaaaahhh, watch me, watch me dance, honey. Go ahead, take it out, let me see it again, oh it's sooooo pretty sooooooooo big. That's right, rub it, stroke it gooooooooood honey, watch me aaaaaaaaahhhh fuck all of me, Jimmy, I'll do anything, anything. Fuck my pussy, fuck my pussy inside out, fuck all of me, Jimmy, I can't wait any longer, fuck me fuck me fuck me!! "
She ran to me, fell on her knees with her hand rubbing her swollen cunt, and swallowed my cock with her greedy sucking mouth. I watched her full warm lips sliding up and down the length of my long hot pecker and felt my balls burning in her tautly massaging palm. All the half-dormant frustration of my long months without having a truly violent feast with a woman came blazing into my erotically aroused mind and swelled my penis so taut that its pink skin was as thin as the hot sweet saliva in her deep warm mouth. I stared down at her long dark hair, her white shoulders flowing off into the sensuous nakedness of her crouching penis-sucking form. My whole body tensed with the thrilling savage anger that marked me as a doomed man, doomed to never know the plain dull normal sex that most men were chained to. Not me, baby, I was an animal, a proud angry beast savoring the spectacle of that robust naked woman sucking my cock and down on her knees like the crazed female animal that she was. My hot blood coursed through my head and set my mind aflame with pagan joy as I clenched my fists until my fingers were pale, stared down madly at my nude cocksucking lover, and said in a hoarse whisper under my heated irregular breath, "Goodbye, Rosa."
I felt my mouth fucking, rock hard prick teetering on the edge of a maddeningly powerful climax and came down hard with both fists on the back of her bobbing sucking head. Then, holding her limp head from falling backwards, I pumped my big hard cock madly between her soft lips and shot a boiling stream of milky love lava deep into her moist unconscious mouth. I held her head firmly against my trembling groin, with the head of my cock jammed into her hot narrow throat, until the last drop of my masculine nectar had squirted wonderfully into the warmth of her tender throat, and then I let her lips slip from my cock and watched her fall in a crumpled heap of soft tempting flesh.
I reached down and clasped the dark length of her silken hair in my fascinated grasp. Then I turned and began walking with a noble powerful stride, dragging her nude lush body by the hair towards the shoreline. My cock was already rising again as I dropped her in the white froth.
I broke into wild ecstatic laughter as I gazed triumphantly down at my foam-washed naked victim. The roaring waves broke out past the shore and mixed with the sound of my loud joy, as it built in intensity like the incoming wall of returning water and broke with my piercing scream, "GOODBYE, ROSA!! "
I kicked at her breasts, her belly, her thighs, all with a lewd and savage delight. I stroked my hot stiff prick as I stared down at the bruised nymphomaniac, then rolled her over with my foot and worked my toes between her round white buttocks until I felt my big toe centered on the brownish puckered blossom of her asshole and screwed it inside her anus, tearing the soft tight skin around her rear love hole. I pulled my toe out, fell to my knees in the shallow swirling tide and parted her curving ass cheeks. I got on top of her and, at last, plunged my boiling cock into her mangled asshole. Madly, I pumped my huge bursting prick into her slippery, wet, naked ass, and it was only a few sweet timeless moments before I shot my hot jiz deep into her bowels, ripping at her nude flesh with my fingernails.
Then, unwilling to leave it at that, I pulled out my greasy shrinking prick, turned her back over again, and bit hard into her soft pussy, tasting the warm blood and cool salt water. I went on sucking the unconscious woman's twat until I finally collapsed, exhausted.
I lay there for some time, then I got up and slowly dragged Rosa back to the car. I stuffed her behind the wheel, checked her heartbeat to make sure she was still alive, and then, turned away and walked up Coast Highway to a service station. I went to the phone booth in the back of the station and called a cab to take me back to the base.
CHAPTER NINE
The dawn bugle sent me tumbling out of bed. As I shook off the sleep and pulled on my clothes, I felt the frustrating drive to punish a woman coming back doubly strong. I couldn't believe what was happening to me. It seemed that there was nothing left inside of me to stop the onrushing surge of chaotic anger and confused feelings. I felt as if I was really flipping out, man. My whole universe was narrowing down to the hurt confusion in my mind, to the insatiable hunger in my prick, and to the ever-recurring image of my next sweet stolen woman. Who would it be? It didn't matter too much, only I felt it better happen soon or I might just start kicking at the fence around the base. I felt as if I were crammed into a small sweaty closet and wasn't allowed to leave until someone ordered me to. I wondered when this unbearably urgent drive to commit rape would let go its grip on my shattering brain and let me have a few moments of peace. There seemed to be no way that I could clear my mind of violent thoughts solely on my own. I needed some kind of luck, something. Shit, man, I think I even prayed for a minute there. I couldn't stand the helpless feeling of not having any control over the burning obsession in my brain, of not having anything I could do, any direction to take that would lead me away from my building insanity. Once again the brutality of my fists had only served to intensify my need.
Now, as I stood outside the barracks at attention, my body turned its already rigid position into a trembling of muscles that forced me to concentrate on not flying into a fit. The sweat popped out in little beads on my forehead and I stared straight out ahead of me at the marching formations of uniformed men. I knew I needed some form of relief and that I wouldn't be allowed off base until five o'clock roll call. Even then, could I be so crazy as to seek out another pretty victim in the city, to begin committing rape nightly, as regularly as other men watch television or go to the movies with their wives?
Jesus, I had to get my head together, had to seek some help somehow. I needed to get it all off my chest and tell someone what was going on inside my troubled mind. I knew I could no longer shoulder my burden alone and, if I could just get the truth out of my problems, I was sure I'd feel a hell of a lot better.
But there was only one person I knew in the whole world who would ever have listened to me and tried to help me. And now he was no longer my friend. I felt a deep pang of lost friendship at the thought of Johnny. All of these years I had waited to find someone to talk to and now that I needed a helping hand desperately, he had already told me I was a mother-fucker and walked off. I knew that, despite Johnny's nervousness over Vietnam and his hurt ego because he thought I saw him as a fool, he was still a good hearted person down deep and he would probably be willing to listen to me if I made it obvious how much I needed to talk to someone. I would tell him how sorry I was that he didn't want to be my friend anymore and ask him if we could be buddies once again. I realized that it was cause I lost him as my one friend the night before that I had beaten Rosa Di Sylveste to a pulp. Maybe if I told him what I had done, told him I was an obsessive rapist, maybe then the natural liking he had for me as a person would come to the foreground and he would do his best to calm me down and discuss the whole thing over with me. I never did believe much in anyone's advice, but I figured just having him back as my friend and knowing I no longer had to keep my sad situation a total secret would help relax me to the point where I could grab the reins on my own and stop the stampede of violent images galloping across the vast arena of my imagination.
I hadn't been forced to really look at myself since the night when my father died and I ran off to the park to try and get control of my emotions and figure out what his passing on would mean to me. It was ironic how I felt as I looked back at the conclusions I had conjured up during that strange night and day in Golden Gate Park. I had been a naive little boy, picturing myself as a two-fisted crusader against the hypocrisy of the gentler sex. Now, as I marched in a tight formation with the rest of the soldiers, I looked back to that time a year before as if it had been almost a holiday. Well, true, it had been no picnic for me when my father died, and then, when I lost my thing with Corrine only hours afterward, but, still, I had been calm enough to think it out on my own, irregardless of whatever pubic notions I came up with.
Now it was a whole different story. I was a soldier in the U.S. Army shortly due to go off to war, and I was rapidly losing the personal war between sanity and insanity that was ripping up my head. I could no longer afford the luxury of remaining locked into my loner personality because I knew I was incapable of winning the battle and avoiding utter madness. This was the moment of reckoning, the time I had always dreaded whenever I had realized that I might not be able to continue my life totally alone and still be able to survive. Yeah, it was time to pay my dues, time to break out of my lifelong shell of secretive silence and talk of what was troubling me, just like any other human being. I was grateful that at least there was still someone I knew who might be willing to listen, who might have the patience to sit down with me somewhere and help me draw out my long-kept painful secrets, help me understand some pattern of behavior, perhaps even some alternative course of action I could take to free myself of the smoldering anger and desperate frustration that filled my life. I decided to find Johnny right after morning drill. I would beg the tall soldier to take me back as his friend and listen to what was happening inside my troubled mind. I had to talk to someone and I hoped Johnny had cooled off since last night.
After drill I was called to the CO's office and was told that Johnny had been cooled off permanently. My stunned mind emptied of everything but an overwhelming sadness and I felt my limbs shaking as I heard what the CO was saying about Johnny-
"Hit by a car last night in Hollywood. He'd been walking and wandered out into the street. They say he was drunk."
I felt my legs give out and I dropped into a chair. The CO got up from behind his desk, walked over to me and put his hand on my shoulder.
His voice was full of quiet sympathy as he paid his respects, "I'm sorry, Felton, I know you and Willis were buddies. As a matter-of-fact, that's why I had you come here to my office, to tell you about it personally. Listen, son, if there's anything the Army can do, just let us know."
I looked up at the CO and spoke in a broken, hollow tone of voice, "S-Sir, I request permission to leave base. I want to offer my condolences to his folks."
The CO reached over and took a slip of paper from his desk, then handed it to me, and said, "I thought you might want to do that. This is their address. Permission granted. Go ahead, soldier, but remember to be back here for evening roll call."
I walked out of his office, out past the gate, and stood at the base bus stop like a dazed zombi until a monstrous green vehicle picked me up on its route towards the city. I ended up taking a series of busses, asking each driver where I would have to transfer next, as I stared down at the scrawled address and saw only my dead friend's face.
The last bus let me off at the corner of a wide tree-lined street in a quiet, plush residential area. Funny, I thought, my dad had left the farm and died poor and miserable, but Johnny's dad had left and turned into a rich man, with nothing to worry about except how to spend all of his money. Shit, man, how can you figure this world?
I thought of my now-forever-gone lanky young friend, thought of the way he had laughed and boasted with a friendly smile when I first knew him. How ironic it was that he had been afraid of being killed in Vietnam. The absurdity of being killed in Hollywood forced a sad dry laugh out of me as I walked down the broad wealthy lane towards my appointment of honor with Johnny's parents.
It seemed that fate was determined to keep me from having even a moment's rest from some worry or some grief. I was now totally and completely alone in the world. The loss of my father had once left me with a certain kind of hopelessness, but that was nothing compared to the way the irrevocable fact of Johnny's permanent departure tortured me with renewed pain. Sure, If I had never known friendship, if I had never shared any why had he done it? I knew instinctively that he hadn't committed suicide cause of me. It had to be because of the thing that had troubled him so much the last few weeks. But kill himself because he was going to fight in Vietnam? I knew he had a premonition that he would definitely be killed if he went over there, but, still, it didn't make any sense at all to kill himself ahead of time, just because he had some notion in his head.
It had to be some deeper reason. In the next instant something that Simi had said weeks before came back to me-"He couldn't get a hard-on, poor bastard." No. No, it couldn't be. Or could it? No wonder he had been so insanely uptight about not being able to get a chick before he would have to leave. It was more than just his hurt ego. He probably figured, what with his premonition about being killed in Vietnam, that the chicks in Los Angeles were the last ones he'd ever have a chance to make it with. But the constant rejections they had given him must have driven him to the point where he just couldn't take it anymore. I guess he thought he'd never again manage to get the chance to be alone and naked with a woman, never get the chance to prove to himself that he wasn't an incapable freak. JOHNNY HAD BEEN IM-IMPOTENT! YES, THAT WAS IT! That was the hidden truth in Simi's casual mention of his inability to get an erection. The poor guy had built an elaborate front of being a lady killer and the truth of the matter was that he couldn't get it on at all!
Oh, shit, why had he never told me? Why had he kept the horrible reality of his impotence locked away inside of him until it eventually drove him to the point of suicide? I became conscious of how ironic it was for me to question his silence. Hadn't I always had my own great secret, the one thing that I could never tell anybody else? No wonder Johnny and I had become friends. We were both abnormal and fucked-up, and we both were unable to let anyone know about it. I felt a warm rush of kinship for my lost friend and realized that those who have to face a problem alone, either because they can't communicate at all, like me, or cause it's too damn embarrassing to talk about, like Johnny, those are the only kind of people who would ever want to be friends with the other freaks. In a greater sense than I had ever known before his suicide, I realized now that Johnny and I had stood together against the world, both of us eaten away inside with worry over our individual hang-ups, and both of us unable to do anything about our unique problems except hang on and hope for the best.
But Johnny had taken another way and just given up entirely. There was no more problem when there was no more Johnny. And so, he'd decided to end his life and I was sure that I was the only person in the world who knew he had actually committed suicide. God, not only had I never gotten out my secret, but now I had also inherited his secret!
I had finished slowly walking the six or seven blocks down the street to the correct address and now found myself standing in front of a white Colonial mansion. I braced myself, knowing that it would be useless cruelty to tell his parents that he had actually committed suicide, let alone tell them the hidden motivation for his desperate action. I stared at the tall landscaped bushes as I closed the wrought iron gate behind me and began walking up the long flagstone pathway towards the massive carved oak front door. I thought of Johnny's dad, thought of how proud he must be of his personal success and how he would feel if he knew that, despite his wealth, his own son was impotent. Well, I wouldn't tell him, no sir, it was kinder to let him and his wife be satisfied with the official version of Johnny's death. They would always think their son died by accident and only I would know the truth. Jesus, now I had someone else's secrets to keep locked inside me along with my own hidden obsession, and I knew that the burden of not revealing what really happened to Johnny would remain with me for the rest of my life. I stood at the door and wondered solemnly whether my own concealed drive to commit rape would have to remain a secret in my mind also for as long as I lived. I hoped not, but I knew deep down that I'd probably never meet anyone again who might be willing to listen to my long-kept secret, to the violent friendly times with anyone, I wouldn't have known what it was to have a buddy. It still seemed a freak of chance that a shy fellow like me had ever really managed to make friends with anyone else. And chance had come again to take away my one friend and teach me what it meant to lose a buddy.
Maybe the tears wouldn't have filled my eyes so persistently if Johnny hadn't been the only friend I'd ever had. Shit, why: Why did he have to get himself killed and leave me once more without a friend in the world? Suddenly, a familiar gnawing feeling filled my mourning thoughts and I thought 'no, no, not again'. Had I had something to do with killing my sole friend? The same guilt that had caused me so much pain when my father died came back to haunt me now that my numbness had subsided enough for me to start reflecting on Johnny's death. This time the guilt was more immediate and was already turning my head into a sad wake of self-hatred. After all, if I had run after Johnny and caught up with him this might never have happened. He wouldn't have gone walking off into the fuckin' street if I had been with him to look out for him.
Suddenly, a strange thought struck me. How had he happened to run out into the street. I mean, yeah, the CO said he was drunk, but I knew he could handle a lot more than the small number of drinks he had actually had. They must have concluded it was an accident cause he had liquor on his breath. AN ACCIDENT? Shit, no, no, it couldn't have been, he was just too damn careful to ever let anything like that happen to him.
I shook my head dumbly, stunned at my realization. Son-of-a-bitch! JOHNNY HAD KILLED HIMSELF! My God! What the hell had happened, inner reality of having to beat chicks that I kept hidden away inside, the reality that was torturing me obsessively even as I lifted my hand now and rang the doorbell.
Within the next moment I was being seductively stared at by a lovely young thing in a scanty maid's costume
I cleared my throat, and said, "I'd like to speak to Mr. and Mrs. Willis, please."
She answered me in a softly purring French accent, "I'm sorry, but Mr. and Mrs. Willis are vacationing in Europe at the moment."
I shrugged and turned to go.
"Oh, don't go," she called out. "Please come in and have some tea or something. I hope I don't seem, how do you say it, forward? But it gets so lonely in this big house. I-I'm Charmaigne."
I felt the blood rushing to my head as I glanced down at her creamy thighs, bare and milky white under her short sexy skirt. I smiled, and said, "I'm Jim," then I entered the great mansion, walking past her onto a deep fuckgy white carpet and staring around me in disbelief at the opulent furnishings and expensive works of art.
She closed the door behind me and I knew she was probably smiling to herself. The little hot pants cunt. I knew what she wanted as sure as hell, even though she thought she was being so cool about the whole thing. She was just one more selfish little bitch, one more female preoccupied totally with her own needs, just like all the bitches that had rejected my friend Johnny and caused him to eventually commit suicide. I bet all of those cunts wouldn't have even blinked an eye if they knew somehow that they had caused a nice human being to kill himself.
I felt my angry cock stiffening and clenched my fists as she led me into an oak-paneled den. There were curved steer horns hanging over the teakwood mantle and a huge bearskin rug lying on the endless white carpet.
She asked in a low, smooth, earthy tone, "Would you like a drink?"
I stared at her soft brown hair, her incredibly creamy, ripe young breasts and softly rounded thighs, half-exposed by her fluffy lace clothing. I looked into her expectant green eyes and answered, "Sure. I'll have a bourbon."
She smiled dreamily, winked at me in the naughtiest way, and said, "Wait here."
She went out towards some other part of the huge house and I sat down on the leopard-skin sofa, noticed the wet bar in a corner of the luxurious den, and wondered why she'd had to leave the room in order to get me a glass of bourbon.
A minute later, padding softly back in through the archway, she satisfied my curiosity. She stood before me, vibrant and voluptuous in a transparent soft yellow baby doll pajama top. There was nothing underneath it and I felt my cock tingle and spring into a full erection as I stared at her completely shaven, perfectly smooth, naked pussy. An erotic smoke steamed out of her moist hazel eyes and a soft musky perfume radiated from her firm young body as she brought her hand from behind her and showed me an unopened fifth of expensive bourbon.
"Here's your drink," she purred, and the tip of her tongue slowly moistened her open expectant lips.
I leaned forward, took the bourbon, then took the delicate hand that had held it and pulled her to the couch. She turned and giggled lewdly as she stuck out her delicious creamy ass for my eager eyes to enjoy, then sat down with a fluid graceful motion on my lap. Her high firm buttocks pushed softly down on me, voluptuously moving against my bursting fly.
Then she rose slightly, pulled down my zipper, and gasped with an ecstatic joy, "Oooohh, Mon Dieu! What a cock, what a cock!"
She moaned with a delightful abandon, stroking my long hot penis with her artfully massaging palm and moving its massive purplish head teasingly back and forth against the damp swollen lips of her tight naked pussy. I pushed her sensuous ass slowly forward and took her loving hand off of my throbbing pinkish tool. Then I reclined back, pulling her down so that my cock slid upward between the soft satiny mounds of her yearningly squeezing, warm rear cheeks.
She purred, "AAaaaaahhh he is sooooooo hot, mon cherie, sooooooo haaaaaaaaarrrd, ooooooooo ohhh, I love it, mmmmmm pump pump pump!! "
In the next instant she squealed with delight as I pushed the neck of the bourbon bottle into her soft yearning pussy. I brought my free hand to her firm swollen breasts and fondled them, pinching at her large, stiffly-pointed pink nipples.
She sighed in a trance, "Aaaaaahh yeeeeeeee esssss yeeeeeeeeeeeeessssss mmmmmmm he is so juicy cherie aaaaahhh feel my sweet tushy, ooooo ooooooohhh she is so soft and smoooooooooooth and waaaaaaaaaaaaarmm aaaaaaaaaahhh yeeeeeeee eeeeesssss and your cock ooooooooooooooohhh cherie cherie he is sooooooooo hot and hard and Mon Dieu ooooooooooooooooohhh yeeeeeeeeee esssss!! "
She was ecstatic, squeezing my cock in the dewy soft embrace of her massaging hillocks and squeezing the bottle with her hot little twat.
All of a sudden her sighs turned to screams as I drove the bottle deeper and deeper, until her soft cunt was being torn open. She tried to pull away, screaming sharply, but my hand rose from her breasts and encircled her neck, choking off her screams. I shoved the bottle harder into her exquisite little pussy, impaling her and pushing her soft ass firmly up against my exploding cock. My hot sweet jiz shot out onto the white creamy skin of her back. I held her against me until the last of my milky semen had squirted out of my huge shaft, tightly embraced by her smooth lush cheeks. Then I let go of her neck and she fell away onto the floor doubled over in pain.
The blood dripped from her slightly torn pussy, running red onto the white carpet. She began screaming again, but I raised the bottle threateningly above her maimed crotch and shoved my still-hard crazed penis into her frightened open mouth. She sucked my prick for her very survival, her eyes wide with fear, her mouth sucking wildly and her throat choked with sobs. Only moments later, I squirted long hot bursts of cum into the sweet mouth pussy of her tear-stained face.
Then I got up, closed my fly, and broke off the neck of the bottle against the mantle. I dipped my finger in the cool bourbon, tasted it, then poured it all over Charmaigne's naked body and walked out the door.
CHAPTER TEN
I reached the bus stop and stood there, feeling the angry frustration building up again deep inside me. Christ, was there no satisfaction, no relief from my all-consuming violent need? Already, the wish, no, the necessity, for another victim tormented my brain and made my body shiver like some junkie who needed a fix more than anything else in the world. Only I needed a woman, God, still another woman, whom I could teach a lesson in humility to. Yeah, man, make her beg, make her crawl for it, and then beat her empty fuckin' head black and blue. In the wicked intensity of my strange obsession's erotic spell, I forgot all about the war I was due to fight overseas. Fuck that, baby, I was fighting my own war against all the lousy miserable cunts in this world. And I was fighting it right here and right now.
If I was even close to being a rapist before, I had become doubly so now that Johnny had died. I was going to avenge my friend's death and I could hardly wait to just mangle and fuck every bitch I could get my hands on, hardly wait to just rub my cock against their smooth sweet skin, ram it deep in their mouths, puncture their creamy fannies and rip it up hog wild inside their juicy cunts.
Suddenly I heard an angry scream, "Get off the street, you asshole!"
I looked in the direction of the loud voice and saw a car speeding away, then I looked down, saw the asphalt, and realized I was standing in the street. Jesus, I'd gotten so carried away with my savage imagination that I'd stepped off the curb and almost gotten myself run over.
I heard a motorcycle stop near me and turned to see a tall, older traffic cop walking towards me. He took my arm, led me back onto the curb, and asked, "Something wrong with you, son? That was a damn silly thing to do. You almost got yourself squished."
I nodded dumbly.
He looked at me sympathetically and eyed my clothes. He said in a paternal tone, 'That's a nice uniform you got there, son. I see you're a corporal.
Listen, you okay? I mean, you got battle fatigue or something? You just get back from Vietnam?"
I answered, "No, going there in two weeks."
He smiled with a glint of understanding in his eye, then said, "Hmm mmm, now I see. You're a little nervous about going over there, huh?"
I nodded.
He continued, "Well, it's only natural. Better to be nervous than chicken, huh?" I nodded again.
He started up his bike and smiled, "Well, you're okay now, boy. Better go get yourself some pussy, heh, heh. You kill us a few gooks over there, hear, son?"
I nodded again as he roared off.
Whew, I thought to myself, if the man questioned me about stepping off the curb, how the hell was I going to get away with committing rape after rape? What was I going to do? I was in a horrible situation. My insane urges had just almost gotten me killed and I knew I must have looked like a nervous madman to all the people around me cause I was acting so mother-fuckin' crazy. I kept looking around me like a trapped dog or something and I couldn't stop shaking.
I had to beat a woman, and I had to do it in a hurry. Suddenly, the answer to my problem struck me as it had struck me once a year before. Corrine, of course! I could beat her all I wanted to and it wouldn't be a rape by any means. There would be no resistance and no risk cause she had loved my fists almost as much as my cock. And there wouldn't be any problem with Nelson simply because I was desperate enough to kick the shit out of him if that's what would be needed to be able to fuck Conine again.
All of my suppressed hunger for the lovely masochistic creature came forth with full force into my aroused mind. Corrine was the one for me and all this time I had blocked her out of my mind because I had figured it wasn't worth the trouble. What a fool I'd been, here I had let myself almost die from the lack of the rugged fun I needed to have, and Conine had always been right there for me to take if I would just put forth the minor effort of beating the shit out of Nelson. He was big, but so was I, and I would be fighting for my life. Things had suddenly become crystal clear to me and I knew I couldn't survive without having Corrine to beat and fuck whenever I wanted to. I sensed, just as I had sensed one day a year ago, that she was the only woman who could satisfy me. She was the one who loved being beaten and I was the one who was now determined to be her master.
"Beat me, sweet cock, beat me, beat me." Conine's passionate words burned in my brain. The sound of her voice echoed in my memory and I felt her once again, felt her sucking my ecstatic prick as I tasted her raspberry blonde twat, and felt her accepting the head of my cock in her tight asshole with a voluptuous, squeezing joy. Right then and there I decided to go see her. All the time I had spent away from her seemed to be nothing more than the period in which I was meant to realize how much I wanted her. She had turned out to be the one thing in my life that gave me any hope. She was the natural goal of my violent desire and the sweet promise of a more fulfilling life with the opposite sex. It all boiled down to Corrine, all my tortured thoughts and hungry nights could only be cured by that full-bodied, sensuous blonde; and I knew now that any woman who could still tantalize me this vividly, no matter how long it had been since I'd seen her, was certainly something worth fighting to have. I was so tuned into her with my erotic thoughts that at that moment I could swear I heard her calling me, begging me to come and devour her in that special way that we both needed so badly. I forgot about five o'clock Roll Call, forgot about everything except Corrine's soft ass, and ended up taking the bus that went to L.A. International Airport.
Once I got to the airport, I stood in line and dreamed I was already with Corrine. I could even feel her smooth naked flesh in the overwhelming aura of my imagination. It finally got to be my turn at the ticket counter and I watched the pretty reservations girl shoot a quick excited glance at my crotch. Then she regained her composure, placed a small printed form on the counter and asked in a half-formal, half-intimate tone, "Name, please?"
I answered, "Jim Felton."
She wrote my name on the form and asked, "Name of base where you are stationed?"
I knew by the way she read the question right off of the form that her job had made her part robot and part girl. I told her the name of my base and felt myself getting angry at all the delay. Shit, here I had to go through filling out some fuckin' form when I was almost dying with eagerness to get to Conine.
The ticket girl dropped the form in a metal slot and said, "Alright, Mr. Felton, where would you like Pan Pacific to fly you today?"
Jesus, what a lame chick. I answered her impatiently, "San Francisco, please. As soon as possible."
She finally booked me for the next flight to San Francisco and, when she accepted my money and gave me my ticket, she said, "You realize, of course, that you're going for half-fare. I think that's nice." She winked almost imperceptibly and continued, "I think military men should be entitled to lots of special privileges, if you know what I mean?"
Yeah, I knew what she meant, and I wouldn't have been surprised if the sweat was forming between her round young boobs and trickling all the way down to her little cunt bush, but I had an earthy woman to go see and I wasn't about to waste my time with some super-sophisticated airline chick who would probably turn into a robot again as soon as I got her into bed.
I went out to the correct waiting gate, but I didn't have to wait long, cause only twenty-five minutes later I was unstrapping my seat belt and staring out the window while the big passenger jet soared above the smog-covered sprawl.
The sun was fading into the bay by the time the plane finally touched down at San Francisco International, and, though the air was soft and cool as I deboarded the plane, it was so hot inside my mind that I might as well have landed in the middle of the Sahara desert. God, did I want to fuck Corrine. My whole body was aching with desire, now that I was only a few miles away from her Scandinavian beauty, and my fists were clenched so tightly that it was a great effort to open my hand and grasp the door handle of one of the waiting cabs.
I told the cabby her address and he glided up the onramp onto the Bay shore Freeway and headed towards the city. He kept staring at me in his rear-view mirror and I began to wonder whether I looked that crazy just sitting there minding my own business in the back seat. I wondered if the heavy emotional toll of losing my friend, Johnny, and being so desperately frustrated sexually, had caused my face to change into a madman's mask. I wouldn't have been surprised, because I didn't seem to have any control over my impulsive actions and it seemed that my obsession had grabbed me up in its whirlwind and I was just hanging on and trying to ride out the storm of my chaotic emotions and desires.
About halfway towards the city I found out that the cabby hadn't been staring at me because I looked like Wolfman or something. He turned his head back to me for a moment and asked in a friendly tone, "Hey, you the Felton kid who used to live a few doors down from us on Dolores Street?"
I nodded and went on nodding as the cabby explained how he never forgot a face and how the seagulls were dying and what a shame it was about the Giants.
When we at long last arrived at Conine's, I jumped out, paid my fare, and ran past the open door and up the stairs. To my relief, she was still there and she was ecstatic to see me.
We embraced passionately, our eager bodies grinding against each other, and she moaned hungrily, "Oh, Jimmy, I prayed that you'd come back. I've played with myself and dreamt of you for so long now, so damn long. Nelson and I split up months ago. I couldn't forget your cock and he knew it. Oh, baby, baby."
Two minutes later we were naked and I was bruising her white porcelain skin with my pummeling fists and palms, slapping her flushed, excited, and lovely face with a fury, and stroking myself like I had been denied a piece of ass for a million years. I could barely keep from cumming all over her soft inner thighs.
She was screaming, "Moooooooooooooorrre, oooooohhh, God, beat me gooooooooooood oooo ooooooooooooooooohhhhhh moooooooooooo ooorrrre moooooooooooooooooooorrrrrre PLEASE!! "
My leaden staff was poised against the sweet moist lips of her trembling pussy.
She cried out, "Put it in. God, Jimmy, PUT IT IN, PUT IT IN ! ! ! "
I rammed it into her and pumped furiously while her pussy squeezed with hungry little sucking muscles up and down the rigid length of my huge, deeply screwing penis.
Corrine drove me crazy with the feel of her silken cunt's voluptuous movements and the sound of her throaty voice as she moaned, Fuck me,aaaaaa aaaaaaaaaahhhh, all we want, Jimmy, all we want, fuck me, baby, faster, faster, faster!! ! "
The deep thunder of my cum gathered itself, preparing to spring out of my buried prick. Her satin-lined twat kneaded my bloated penis with a maddening intensity as she tottered on the threshold of her long-awaited climax and screamed in her overwhelmingly obscene passion, "Wonderful! God, how wonderful aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh, ooooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOO OOHHHHHHHHH BEAT ME, SWEET COCK, BEAT ME, BEAT ME!! ! ! ! "
I felt my whole body exploding within me as I rammed my bursting cock all the way up to the hilt inside her tight warm pussy and slapped her brutally, insanely, uncontrollably. In the next instant a scalding river of white hot jiz came shooting out of my ejaculating penis and hosed her down deep inside her raw, deliriously climaxing pussy, as she screamed with joy, "MMMMMMMMMMMM, CUMM, CUMMMMMMMMMMMM, CUMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMIIINNG!! ! "
We held onto each other for dear life as our naked bodies bathed each other's flaming genitals with their last spewing bursts of hot sweet orgasmic fluids. Then, only moments later, as we lay on the couch exhausted and smiling, we suddenly heard footsteps coming up the stairs and the door being opened. The hands of an old woman came into view.
"Rape!" screamed Corrine, "Rape! Rape! Rape!"
The next thing I knew I was up on my feet, pulling on my clothes, and dodging Conine's mother's alligator skin handbag.
Corrine was screaming with a dramatic passion that would have put a Shakespearian actress to shame. "RAPE! RAPE! HELP ME, MOMMA, HELP! RAPE!"
I rushed towards the door, throwing the old woman aside. Then I ran like greased lightning down the stairs, out onto the sidewalk, and straight into the arms of two MP's.
The taller one put me into an official hammer lock and shook me like I was a stuffed toy. He laughed triumphantly, "Next time you go AWOL, soldier, don't go filling out a serviceman's form at the airport, and don't leave your name with no cabby. That's pretty fuckin' stupid, wouldn't you say, soldier? After all, he led us right here!"
Just then Corrine's mother came running out of the white Victorian house and she was screaming in a blood -curd ling, shrill tone, "Oh, thank God! Hold him, officers! Hold him! Don't let him get away! He just raped my daughter! Oh, God, he just raped my daughter!"
I was summarily taken to the Presidio Stockade and put in a large windowless cell with all the deserters and practicing Christians. Within only two more days, I was dishonorably discharged from the Army and handed over to the civilian authorities.
Needless to say, when my trial came I stood about as much chance to beat the rap as a wingless fly in a bucket of horse shit. How was that for irony, baby? I had raped women of three different races in four different cities, but there I was on trial because the one chick who had wanted me to beat her would rather lie than tell the truth about what had happened. I guess she felt it would be a crime to break her poor old mother's heart. Sweet, huh?
Anyway Conine's false testimony convicted me and the judge pronounced my five-to ten year sentence with a sniff of his nose, as if he had just finished the unpleasant job of taking out the garbage. I arrived with the rest of the District Attorney's load of human trash here at this fuckin' prison and they locked me away. Like I said before, I was tired and I needed a long rest. I didn't even try to appeal cause I knew it was no use. Even if I could have gotten Corrine to reverse her testimony, I knew that sooner or later I would have been bound to get caught for the real thing anyway, especially at the rate I'd been going.
Now, when I think back over my years in this prison, I feel almost glad that I've had a chance to be separated from society. It's given me a chance to see just how things are in this world. Maybe some of the things that I've said about society in this long-winded rap have seemed a bit distorted and bitter, but you have to realize, man, that you're walkin' around out there with the crowd and don't have the perspective of someone who's watching from beyond the crowd.
You see, all my life I've heard people rapping about their hypocritical sexual beliefs and so on, and I've always felt like I must be a freak cause of my violent fantasies. But I realize now that the only thing that made me a freak was that I enacted my fantasies. See, everybody has weird fantasies about brutality or some other so-called perversion, but they act totally shocked and disgusted when a guy like me goes out and does the very same thing that they themselves have been dreaming about doing for years.
Yeah, so they send a guy like me to the tank and isolate me from all the good, clean, decent folks. But the thing they didn't realize when they sent me up was that they were doing me the greatest favor in the world. They may have succeeded in isolating me from the rest of the world, but the fact that they put me here with the other freaks permitted me to break through my own personal shell and escape from my life-long individual isolation. Yeah, I've been able to talk to people for the first time in my life. The guys in here don't give a shit whether or not I'm a rapist. Shit, one of my best friends is a murderer. Everybody in here understands me cause everybody is a freak in some kinda way.
And the thing is, man, that we're all able to help each other deal with our burdens cause we're truly friends, cause we can accept each other for what we are, be it forger, pimp, or junkie. See, that's what the shrink doesn't understand at all. He tries to relate to us, tries to get inside our heads and all, but the last thing he would ever let us do is to get into his head and find out where the hell he's really at. Me and the other guys in here have nothing to lose by being honest, nothing to hide from anyone cause it's all out in front and nobody bothers pretending that they're not a thief or a rapist or whatever else it is that everybody already knows about him. With the shrink it's different. His whole bag is a game. He thinks he needs that suit and tie and that calm manner to do his job, but he never realizes that he's dealing with men who know how easy it is for a guy to fall, who knows for sure that nobody, psychiatrist or criminal, is invulnerable to the torments of his own mind and can definitely say what he would or wouldn't do under certain circumstances. In other words, a man who thinks he's infallible, like the shrink, can be nothing more than a joke to us, no matter how much we know he likes us and wants to help us. He probably thinks we're too dumb to realize that he comes on paternally because he wants us to trust him and have faith in him. We trust him alright, but we still know that he's a fool.
Anyway, man, I've been in here a long time and I've had a chance to see myself in a new light. I have finally accepted what I am-a rapist. See, it had never occurred to me before I went to prison that it wasn't all that Godawful for me to be a rapist. I'd always had feelings of discomfort, confusion, even guilt, about my violent way of relating to chicks. But I realize, now that I've had the time to get my head together, that I can't condemn myself for what I am. I mean, all you guys outside this prison, you all have something that you do better than anything else. Since you yourself are a friend of Floyd's I doubt if it's anything imagine that you're into. I mean, I know you're not a doctor or a clergyman or any of those professions, but still there must be some special inclination that you have, something that comes as naturally to you as taking a shit in the morning. Maybe it's building model airplanes or picking good horses at the track, I don't know. But I do know you'd never give it up just because someone told you to. Okay, take it one step further. Let's say someone didn't just tell you to give it up, but they locked you up and said stop doing your own special thing or we'll put you back in this cage for the rest of your life. Okay, and then let's say that you really tried to change, cause naturally no one wants to lose their freedom, but you discovered you just couldn't change, discovered that your special talent was so much a natural part of you that you couldn't get rid of it anymore than you could cut both your legs off. What would you do then? Would you keep on condemning yourself?
Not me, baby. See, what I just described are all the changes I've been through since I've been in here. And when I reached the conclusion, after a couple of years, that I would never be able to shake my rapist tendencies, I sure as hell stopped condemning myself. Shit, there'd always be plenty of people around to condemn me, why should I do it also? No, sir. I decided to get into what I really was and groove with it. Since it's part of me and I have no choice but to live with it, then I might as well enjoy it.
Now that doesn't mean it doesn't hang me up to be a rapist. It sure does cause I don't want to have to go to jail again. So I'm going to try to change. I'm going to use my talent in a special way, as a means of therapy. See, I've got this suspicion that there's only one way to set things straight, only one way to get at the root of my problem and purge the dark drive to commit rape out of my mind.
I've been a model prisoner and that means I should be released in less than a year. Whenever I start musing on what I must do, I look out through the window bars of my upper story cell. I can see the prison road winding off through the fields. It's only fifteen miles from this place to the little farm town where I grew up.
