Here are some cases that illustrate bondage in human relations. They reveal the violence that seethes under the surface of society. More particularly, they illustrate cases of older men who sexually abuse young girls. And one case of a black prostitute who abuses a young boy.
The aberration of behavior expressed in violence, in savage mistreatment of a younger human being. You find it here in stark drama and hair-raising detail! The sociological implications of such criminal mischief must be clear to all.
You'll meet Mona, out for an innocent night of fun, who picks up a brutal mystery man who turns her night into nightmare of violence.
You'll meet Patty, a 12 year old, who was scooped up at night by two vicious men, and taught sex under conditions of violence, so that she had to unlearn the difference between pleasure and pain.
There's sixteen year old Milly, who walked off a farm into a freaky experience with the older man who picked her up, and mixed vicious sex with pleasure, to mix up her head.
And fifteen year old Trixie who thought she had a school date that turned into a diabolic scene of sex humiliation.
And fifteen old Richard, who tried to escape his promiscuous mother, only to fall prey to a black prostitute who abused him for the darkest reasons of revenge.
CASE HISTORY ONE
Subject: Patia von S. Age: Nineteen
INTERVIEW ONE
The first time that Patia (prounced PAY-sha) came into my office, it was instantly obvious to my clinical mind and calculating gaze that she had some great burden weighing upon her mind that she wished to unload on me.
She was not a good-looking girl in the accepted sense of the word, but there was a definite air about her that radiated attractiveness, and I was instantly eager to further or doctor-patient relationship all I could. I lost no time in asking her to relate to me the sexual encounter that seemed to trouble her, adding that she should feel free to speak plainly.
Patia was an intelligent girl with a large vocabulary, and for this reason I was able to record her story here with only a modicum of editing required. Here is what Patie had to tell me, put down exactly as she said it in my office:
Hello, Doctor. live long and prosper.
I guess I'd better begin at the beginning, like they say in the movies. Okay. My parents were Russian and German immigrants, which accounts for my name, but if you HI notice I speak English perfectly, and I've got a completely American personality.
I had a pretty much normal life, except for one or two things like the time my sister died and the time I was in a car accident. But neither of those events have much bearing on the sex-thing that happened to me, so I won't go into them unless you really want me to.
Okay. Regarding the sex. When I got to be a teenager, when I went into puberty, I started to develop an interest in sex. That's normal, isn't it, Doctor? I mean, most teenagers go through that, right?
Yeah. Well, I tried sex a couple of times with a couple of boys I knew and I liked it. Some friends of mine, girls, would kind of half try sex and get scared off, but because I got all the way into it the first time I liked it, and I kept on doing it. Now don't get me wrong, Doctor, I'm not easy. I never was, either. I'm not one of those chicks you see who stand on the street corner going "Fuckmefuckmefuckme," but at the same time I'm no prude either. Just a healthy attitude towards sex. I can enjoy it but I don't force anybody to give it to me.
I knew that there were all kinds of sexual side-trips, Doctor. I knew about the fairies and the lezzies and the women who do it with dogs, and all that kind of thing. But it didn't sound interesting to me, so I never got into it at all. I never even tried it once.
I had never heard of bondage and discipline, Doctor. I mean, I knew that sometimes people tied each other up on the Late Show and things like that, but it never occurred to me that there were people in this world who got KICKS out of that kind of thing. Pretty innocent, huh, Doctor?
Anyway, I guess I had a pretty reasonable home life. I went to school and all that kind of thing. Nothing out of the ordinary there, Doctor.
Like most people I had some hobbies, but here's where things started to get unusual. Keep listening and I'll tell you what I mean.
I was into science fiction. Reading it and watching it in the movies. I know that most of my friends preferred things like "The Godfather" or "Jaws", but I preferred science fiction.
One of the things I really got to like was "Star Trek," the old TV show about the spaceship that goes all over the place. It's a really funny show, Doctor. It's about these guys who have ray guns that can kill a man at thirty paces, but for some reason these guys are always having fist fights. I don't know why they don't just use the guns.
Anyway, Doctor, you may not realize this, but there's a whole CULT in this country built around "Star Trek." There are Star Trek fan clubs and conventions and everything.
I know that you're wondering what all this has got to do with bondage and discipline, Doctor, but don't worry. You'll find out soon enough.
Well, I started going to some of the Star Trek conventions that were in New York, which is where I live. There's such a Star Trek mania going on that sometimes there's a Trek convention every WEEKEND. Sometimes there's two in the same week, which is a pain in the ass.
Naturally these conventions, like any other conventions, had a lot of sex going around in the hotel rooms. Except that anybody who goes in for science fiction has to be a little weird in the head, so the sex at these Star Trek conventions was always a little bit weirder than at most other conventions.
Well, I'm not a nympho, like I told you before, but I'm not a prude either. I got my share of cock. I got invited to a couple of orgies but I turned them down because I can't get into that. I just prefer me and a guy and a bed. It's a hell of a lot nicer this way.
A couple of the guys I went to bed with thought they were real Don Juans, so they went around bragging to all the other guys about how EASY I was, which was total bullshit, Doctor. I sweat 'it was. I'm not TOO fussy about who fucks me, but that doesn't mean that I'll go to bed with just ANYBODY.
But the guys at these conventions didn't believe that. There was this one guy named Jon Estren who was a real pain in the ass. He was about three feet high, and maybe twelve years old, but he thought he was this real cool Casanova. He was always following me around trying to get me to lay him, which I wasn't going to do because not only was he a total schmuck but he smelled like a day-old abortion and had a face to match.
Well, Estren kept following me around trying to impress me with how suave he was, and finally I told him he could just go fuck himself with a beach umbrella because I wouldn't go to bed with him if he had the last cock on earth. Personally, Doctor, I think maybe he DID have the last cock on earth, it looked like something nobody else wanted.
Well, when I told Estren he could do what I told him he could do for a minute he looked like he was going to cry. But then he got this real funny look on his face-what there was of it-and he said that he had a friend he wanted me to meet. He said he was going to be holding an all-night poker game and clap clinic in his hotel room and I was invited.
Well, Doctor, I didn't want to go up there, but there was nothing else to do because most of the other guys and chicks at the convention had already been invited to this poker game. So I went up there too.
I didn't know what hotel room Estren was in, but I found it easily enough. All I did was walk around until I found a room that smelled like gorilla smegma, and I knew that that was Estren.
I started to knock on the door, but before I could I heard this weird noise coming from inside the room. It sounded like bagpipe music.
The door wasn't locked, so I walked right in. A lot of people were lying around playing cards and drinking and shooting up pot and fucking, and right in the middle of it all was some guy in a turtleneck playing a bagpipe.
I took one look at this guy and I said to myself: "This is one guy I've gotta be in bed with." He wasn't particularly good-looking, Doctor, and he wasn't the most macho guy I ever saw, but there was definitely something about him that turned me on. Maybe it was because he had a cock like a watermelon.
Well, Estren is sitting in the corner having somebody read him a comic book because he's illiterate, and as soon as he sees me he gets up and introduces me to this guy with the bagpipe and says this is the fellow he wants me to meet.
This guy's name was Froggy, and he looks at me and I look at him and neither one of us says anything but there's this look in our eyes that says "Let's do it." So Froggy and I went back down to my room and the last thing I saw of Estren three guys were dropping him out the window to see if he'd bounce.
Froggy and I went down to my room, and he whips out this whisky bottle and asks if I want a drink, to kind of "get me in the mood," as he put it. I can't remember the name of the brand of whisky, but I think it was "Old Camatose."
Well, Doctor, normally I can hold my liquor okay, but I took one sip of this booze he gave me and I just hit the floor. When I woke up something hurt like hell. I was lying face up on my own bed, spreadeagled, and I couldn't move. Somebody had put handcuffs on my wrists and ankles, and the other ends were attached to the corners of the bed. I was completely naked except for a black lace corset which I had never seen before in my life. Whoever had put it on me had made it so tight that I could scarcely breathe.
Naturally I was scared. I tried to call for help, but there was something in my mouth that kept the sound from coming out. It felt like a rubber ball, and I found out later that that's what it was.
Just then the door to the bathroom opened and Froggy came in with a Polaroid camera. He showed me some pictures he'd made of me, showing me chained to the bed with my tits hanging out, and he said that I had to do everything he told me to from now on, or otherwise he'd send copies of the pictures to my mother and father. He'd gotten my address from Estren.
Then he said that Estren was a friend of his and that he didn't like the way I'd been treating the guy. He said that even if Estren WAS a schmuck, he was still a male, whereas I was only a lowly female. He said that he was going to have to teach me which sex was the superior one.
He unchained me from the bed, and then chained me down in another position, and took some pictures of that. It was very humiliating. Then he put me on the floor and tied me up with a rope, in a different position, and took pictures of that. He took them from every angle, Doctor. Sometimes the camera was only an inch away from my cunt or my tits or my ass, and every shot showed at least one of the ropes in it. Not only was I embarrassed, but I was also scared as hell. But I didn't dare try to fight this guy because he could use those photographs to blackmail me.
After a while he took the corset off me and took some more pictures of me stark naked, with nothing on but the ropes and chains. By now I'd been tied up or chained up so tightly in so many different positions that I was getting big red marks around my wrists and ankles like you wouldn't believe.
Then he opened up a suitcase and took out a dress. It was the kind of dress a nine-year-old girl would wear, Doctor, with these ribbons and laces all over it. He ordered me to put it on, or else he'd give me an enema with the bagpipe. I put the thing on, and now I felt even more humiliated than ever. It was bad enough being deprived of my freedom, being forced to pose for these pictures, but now with this little-girl dress on I was even being deprived of my womanhood and being turned into a little girl. I wanted to disappear into the floor.
Froggy took some pictures of me in the outfit, and then he told me that I was a bad little girl for insulting Estren, and that he would have to punish me. Then he sat down on the edge of the bed and pulled me over his knees. He lifted up the dress so it was around my waist, and then he spanked me very hard with a paddle he had. It hurt like hell, but the more it hurt me the more Froggy seemed to like it. I could tell he liked it because I was lying across his lap, and there was something between his legs that was getting bigger by the minute.
Froggy said that he was going to keep giving me the punishment I deserved until I started to scream and cry like the bad little girl I was, and beg for mercy. At first I didn't want to do it because it would have been too degrading, but that pain in my butt just got worse and worse, and so finally I did what he told me to do.
Then he threw me on the floor and pulled out a whip and said to take the dress off right away. He made me get up against the wall with my arms over my head and my face towards the corner. I begged him not to hurt me with the whip, but he told me to shut up and take my punishment or else he'd MAKE me take it.
He reminded me about the photographs, and so I did as I was told.
He took out a chain with a lock on one end and chained me to the radiator with my ass sticking out, so that he had a real good look at the big red marks that I had from the paddling. He took some close-up pictures of that, and I was so embarrassed that I blushed all over and you couldn't see the red marks anymore.
Froggy got mad at that, so he grabbed that whip he had and let me have it right across the fanny. Ouch. Damn! Apparently whoever was in the hotel room next door must have been fucking or something because they didn't hear me screaming my tits off.
Finally Froggy said that if I begged for mercy and promised to be eternally subservient to him he might consider letting me go provided that I get down on my knees and swear that men were superior to women. So I did all that and he said that as long as I was on my knees I might as well shine up his boots with my tongue. So I did that too, even though I didn't want to.
But now here's the funny part, Doctor. All this time I'd been hating this guy's guts for doing all these things to me and for making ME do things that I didn't want to do. But now all of a sudden, right in the middle of licking his boots, I suddenly realized that I LIKED it, that I got off on it somehow. I couldn't figure out how or why, but I knew just the same. In fact I had an orgasm from it, which really surprised me, Doctor, because I'd never had an orgasm before, not even from straight fucking.
Well, Froggy untied me and gave me my clothes back, and while I put them on he was looking at me real funny, and I was wondering if he'd noticed I'd had an orgasm. Finally he said to me that he was going to PROVE I was his slave. He said that as long as he had those pictures of me I'd do what he said because I was afraid of being blackmailed, and that that didn't prove anything. But now he grabbed the photos and tore them up and set fire to the pieces.
We both watched them burn, and then he grabbed my chin very gently, not like before, and turned my head so that I was looking him in the eyes, and then he asked me whether I was still his slave or not.
And would you believe it, Doctor? I said "Yes."
Well, you'll have to excuse me now, because he told me I had to be at his apartment today at five o'clock OR ELSE, and when he gets mad there's no telling WHAT he'll do.
INTERVIEW TWO
I was particularly intrigued by Patia's case, because unlike so many other patients who come to my office and tell me about their sex life in general, Patia told me exactly how she'd GOTTEN INTO the B&D scene. Not all patients are like this. They seem to be very close-mouthed about how they got into a particular type of sex, particularly those patients who prefer to act out the submissive role rather than the dominant role. I was anxious to meet with Patia again for three reasons. Firstly, as a dedicated physician I try to make a habit of mine to keep my files on every patient as up to date as possible. Secondly, what Patia had told me during our first session implied very strongly that she would soon have a few more sex scenes to describe to me in graphic detail. And, thirdly, she had big tits.
I made an appointment for Patia to come back to my office again, to which she agreed eagerly. I noticed that by now she was beginning to act as though she would do anything I or any other male told her to do.
Sure enough, when Patia came back I was not disappointed. In fact, if anything the account that she gave to me about her bondage exploits was even wilder than I had expected. The case study is such a striking one that I did not hesitate to insert it into this, my latest medical textbook, so that other members of the medical community could study it for themselves and learn more about this fascinating branch of sexology.
This is what Patia had to say to me, put down here word-for-word precisely as she said it to me in my office.
Hello again, Doctor. It's been a long time since I was here last, but maybe it's just as well, because the longer the time between sessions the more I'll have to tell you about when I DO come.
A lot has been happening to me B&D wise since our first session, so I shan't waste any time on how are you how's the wife, and just get right down to-the sex.
Right, then. Once I found out that I was actually INTO bondage, Froggy put me through this whole big training course to make sure that I would be the perfect submissive. Wasn't that thoughtful of him?
The training course was a lot of work, and of course it hurt a lot, but I was really starting to get off on it. By now I was such an expert on submission that I was having orgasms just from feeling a rope touch my skin. I knew that if I ever went back to regular sex it would be dullsville compared to this.
Froggy was an expert on B&D, in fact he'd invented quite a few of the tools and devices that other practitioners of the art use. His inventions were sold in places like The Pleasure Chest and Tinder box and so on. And he was a charter member of The Eulenspiegel Society, which is a group you must have heard of if you're making a study of bondage and S&M.
Froggy knew every trick in the book, and he taught them all to me. One of the ones he taught me was how, when I'm tied up, to struggle in such a way that all I did was pull the ropes even tighter. That should give you an idea of just how knowledgeable he was in these things. Did I say he knew every trick in the book? Hell, Doctor, I think that he WROTE the book.
I still couldn't figure out exactly why I was attracted to Froggy so much. It was partially because of the B&D thing, our common bond-if you'll pardon the pun-but I think it went deeper than that. It wasn't his looks, which were just average, and it wasn't his body, because even though he was stronger than most people he didn't have fantastically big muscles. It might have been his cock, which was big and shaped like a French tickler, but I don't think so because there were plenty of other guys I knew who had similar equipment.
Maybe I was attracted to him because he was a man. I don't mean just an adult male human being, Doctor, I mean a MAN. He KNEW he was a man, and that was important. He didn't have to dress up in leather and levis and walk around like John Wayne and talk big and curse a lot and do all that other macho shit. The people you see doing that stuff, the so-called studs, are so insecure about their masculinity that they have to do a big macho act, with the clothes and the walk and all, just to CONVINCE themselves that they ARE men. A lot of those leather boys you see are really fairies, Doctor, which is no coincidence because it's guys like that who REALLY have to convince themselves of their masculinity, namely because they don't have any. But Froggy KNEW that he was a man, and it showed. He didn't talk big or act big, because it's only the two-bit punks who have to put on a show. He WAS big. And that's why I liked him. And that's why I liked submitting to him.
Anyway, for quite some time he put me through the training course that I told you about, and one day he said to me that because I'd been such a good slave he was going to let me have a reward. He said that by now I was an expert at the submissive end of B&D, but that if I wanted to have an all-around knowledge of the subject I had to also learn how to be a dominant. So he said that as my reward he was going to give me a chance to be a dominant.
Right away I thought that he meant he was going to let me do all the things to HIM that he'd been doing to ME, and even though I liked the guy I just couldn't see myself doing that. When a man forces you into total submission, it's very hard for you to get into the right frame of mind to make him submit to YOU, if you know what I mean.
Well, Doctor, it turned out that Froggy hadn't been planning on being my submissive after all, which I was glad to hear. He told me that lately his so-called friend Jon Estren had been getting to be a real pain in the ass, and that it looked like a little rigid bondage was called for to keep the bastard in line and show him who was boss.
You remember Jon Estren, right, Doctor? Where I come from he's known as The Schmuck From the Black Lagoon.
Well, there was going to be another Star Trek convention in a few days-isn't there always?-and Froggy thought that in honour of the time it might be a good idea to put our little plan to work at this next coming convention.
The convention was at a hotel in Manhattan, and Froggy and I checked into a room together, which Estren didn't know about. We brought about six suitcases with us, and if the bellboys had seen what was in those suitcases they would have had a fit. I shan't tell you what was in the cases, Doctor, but I'll give you a hint. Most of it was either leather, rubber or steel, that is if you don't count the ten thousand feet of rope.
Conventions are funny things, Doctor, especially Star Trek conventions. As soon as everybody checks into the hotel they settle down to fucking and drinking and gambling and doing everything BUT holding a convention and the conventions is just an excuse for the fucking and drinking and gambling.
Well, as soon as we were checked into our room I located Estren and put our plan into action. I started acting really sexy and told him that I wanted him to come down to my room for a while and keep me company. (Nudge, nudge. Wink, wink.) Naturally he was delighted, but he wasn't surprised because he honestly thought that the women couldn't keep their hands off him. The only part of him I had trouble keeping my hands off was his neck.
Estren didn't know Froggy was sharing the room with me. By now Froggy and I had developed a really intimate relationship, more intimate than most people have who only FUCK. I think that Froggy was even beginning to love me, because several times he used to grab me and kiss me on the nose. He wasn't a nose freak. He didn't get off on other girls' noses, but for some reason mine was a real turn-on to him.
Well, Estren came d own to the room with me and when he saw Froggy there his jaw hit the floor. Right away I started acting all apologetic. I said oh, I was sorry, but I'd forgotten that I'd already asked Froggy to come up to the room. It was all part of our plan.
Froggy suggested to Estren that the two of them share me, but Shitface said no way. He wanted me all to himself. I could see Froggy winking at me and I winked right back. It was all part of our fiendish plan.
Well, Froggy said that seeing as I was such a wonderful person I deserved nothing but the best, and that the only way to see which of the two of them was more worthy of me was to see which one was more of a man.
Estren said that was okay with him, because he knew in advance that he would win. (Which shows you how much of an ass hole he was. Froggy's not much to look at, but next to Estren, he's Mister America.)
So then he said to Estren that they would have a contest to see who was the bigger man, and that the winner would get me. Estren started to agree, but then Froggy says that the LOSER has to admit his defeat by giving up any manhood that he had.
Well, I could see Jon Estren hesitate a little, but he couldn't back out now.
Froggy said fine. He reached under the bed and whipped out six cases of beer. He said that the two of them were to have a beer-chugging contest, and whoever could go on the longest without having an accident was the bigger man.
Estren was a little surprised that the beer just happened to be under the bed, but he couldn't back out so he started chugging. Maybe I should tell you, Doctor, that Froggy was part Australian, which meant Estren had NO chance of winning that contest, because Australians hold beer so well you'd think it was still in the bottle.
They matched each other chug for chug, and for a while Estren was okay, but along about the third gallon he suddenly put down the bottle and pulled down his pants and yelled "Outa my way. Here it comes, I can't hold it anymore!"
Well, Doctor, he ran towards the bathroom, but when he got there he saw a big padlock on the door. Now how do you suppose THAT got there?
Well, Estren made this noise like a dog with rabies, and then I heard this funny sound, and I saw that his blue jeans were turning into green jeans, which meant that that the fabric was being soaked in something yellow. Like piss.
Froggy said that Estren had lost the contest, and now he was going to lose his manhood. We grabbed him and threw him on the bed and pulled all his clothes off before he knew what was happening.
Froggy opened up one of the suitcases, which was labeled, "B&D WARDROBE," and said, "Let's see now. Since he's not a man any longer should we turn him into a woman or a baby?" I suggested a baby, because you don't see very many women going around pissing in their pants.
So we grabbed Estren and forced him into a pair of rubber pants and diapers, which were very tight. He saw what we were doing and started to cry, which made him look more like a baby then ever. I took a big rubber pacifier out of the suitcase and stuck it into the kid's mouth like a gag, and I tied it on with a string so that if he tried to take it out he'd choke himself, which might not be such a bad idea. We looked at this kid lying on the bed being forced to suck on his rubber nipple in his mouth and making gurgly noises, and it was so funny we both laughed.
Then Froggy said that because the baby had wet his pants he had to be punished, so he ordered me to tie Estren down onto the bed and spank him hard. Well, that was one order I was glad to obey, Doctor. Then Froggy said that since the baby had such bad toilet habits perhaps we ought to give him an enema-a BIG one. So I got out the enema equipment and made sure it was put where our prisoner could see it.
Well, as soon as he saw it he started to scream like crazy, but because of the pacifier in his mouth he could just make baby noises. Froggy said that if the baby didn't behave his mommy would have to spank him, and as soon as Estren heard that he calmed down right enough. Then I gave him the enema. I was really amazed at how much water the guy held, but when I thought about it it made sense, because after all the guy WAS full of shit. By now Froggy had given me so many enemas that I knew just what to do now, and so after I pumped our prisoner's ass full of water I pulled out the tube and stuck in a little rubber plug, which was an invention of Froggy's.
Then Froggy told him that if he expected to be let out of here alive he'd have to do everything we said. And then he took out the good old Polaroid and took a few pictures just in case.
We untied Estren and then put him on the floor, and then we tied his arms together and his legs together so that he'd have to crawl, like a baby. Then we had him crawl all over the room while we sat there and laughed at him. I could tell he was humiliated because he was turning red and because his cock had started to shrivel up and blow away.
Then we pulled the pacifier out of his mouth and made him suck his thumb, and tied his wrist to his neck so that he couldn't take his thumb out of his mouth. We tied him up completely so he couldn't move, and then we put him in the corner, so he could see us, and then we started to fuck, just as another way of humiliating him, so that he could see that I preferred a REAL man to him.
Then Froggy and I took Shitso into the bathroom and put him in the tub. Froggy said that we had to teach him not to wet his pants by showing him how nasty it was to piss, and we proved it by pissing all over him. By now the kid was squirming and struggling like crazy, but he couldn't get loose.
Then I said that we were going to let him go, but first we were going to have to do one or two more things to keep him in his place.
We untied all the ropes that were on him, and then we pushed his knees up against his elbows and tied them that way so that he couldn't walk or even stand up. Just crawl. All this time the plug was still in his ass holding in the enema, and by now it hurt so much that he was starting to cry again, and Froggy said that if he didn't behave we'd spank him. By now I was really getting into the domination side of B&D, and I said that maybe we should spank him anyway, just to show him who was boss, but Froggy said no, and gave some very ridiculous reason that I can't remember. Later on I figured out that he'd deliberately disagreed with me just to prove that even though I was dominating Jon Estren, I was still BEING dominated by Froggy.
So we tied a very strong rope around Shithead's waist, and told him we were going to lower him out the bathroom window and into the street. The only way he could get back into the hotel and back to his own room was to crawl, and he knew it.
We lowered him out the window-it was six or seven stories-and into the street. Right away Estren started yelling for somebody to help him, but when they saw him in those diapers with his elbows and knees tied together they all just stood there and laughed. So he had to crawl back into the building all by himself, and even from seven flights up I could see him blushing like hell.
When he got out of the elevator and went up to the door of his hotel room, all of a sudden the door opened and we came out. We dragged him into the hotel room, and then we started to lower him out the window again so that the people on this side of the building could have a laugh too. It was very humiliating for the poor guy, which was why we liked doing it. His hotel room was on the eighth floor, and the rope didn't reach that far to the ground, so we had to drop him the last ten feet. Finally somebody took pity on him and untied him. They asked him how this had happened, but of course, he didn't want to admit it so he mumbled something about a costume" party and ran like hell. When he saw us in the lobby he said he never wanted either one of us to come near him again. That sounds like the end of the story, Doctor, but it isn't. Later that night we were in our hotel room, and Froggy was giving me a refresher course in submission, when all of a sudden there was a knock on the door. He went across the room and opened it, and there was Jon Estren, on his knees. He took one look at both of us and then he said, "Do it again!"
CONCLUSION
Patia's case is very interesting for several reasons, and I should like to take a few moments now to really dissect it and hold it up to the light for further study.
A good many people who get into B&D, whether they're female or male, straight or gay, tend to stick to either one side or the other of the B&D coin. Either dominant (heads) or submissive (tails). The same thing applies to practitioners of S&M, since this sex form and B&D are so closely intertwined.
However, Patia represents that all-too-rare and rather refreshing example of the B&D fan who decides to experiment, who decides to branch out by trying BOTH sides. The dominant AND the submissive. Not only that, but she even manages to be both dominant and submissive. AT THE SAME* TIME-by her enlightened friend Froggy. Most refreshing indeed.
I should like to point out one or two other things. Not only does Patia experiment with B&D by being on both sides of the rope (the inside and the outside), but even WITHIN the two forms she continues to experiment, to seek out new acts and new humiliations. Many submissives, for example, are content merely to be tied up and thrown in the corner night after night. But not Patia. She found new WAYS of being tied up, new positions to be tied up in, new objects to be tied to, and so forth. Such dedication to B&D is truly inspiring to the rest of us.
By the way, you may wonder how a fellow like Froggy can manage to devote so much time and money to the exploration of new ways to practise bondage and discipline. How does he ever find time to support himself, you may ask, especially since his equipment is likely to provide so great an additional financial burden.
The answer to that is obvious. There are many people in this world, both female and male, who will eagerly pay generous sums for the privilege of being restrained and dominated. And SOMEBODY has to keep them happy.
But now, on to my next case study....
CASE HISTORY TWO
Subject: Susan P. Age: Seventeen
INTERVIEW ONE
Susan P. was still a young girl when I first met her, but she was already beginning to show signs of blossoming into quite a promising woman. Already she had proven her maturity and her desire for independence, both financial and otherwise, by taking a summer job. It was indirectly due to this job that young Susan first found out about B&D, as we shall see for ourselves when we read her story.
Susan desired, as I have already mentioned, to be independent, to be free. She thought that freedom sounded pleasurable, but she was not yet aware of the pleasures of LACK of freedom, commonly known as bondage. It took an older and wiser adult to educate her to that respect.
Here is Susan's own account of how she was first brought-against her will, of course-into the fascinating world of bondage and discipline. The stroy is recorded here exactly as she told it to me upon the occasion of her first visit to my office:
Hello, Doc.
Well, I guess I'd better tell you a little bit about myself first. Not too much, just enough so that you'll understand why the things that happened happened and why I acted the way I did instead of some other way. For starters, my mother was always very protective towards me about sex. When I was very young my father either died or walked out on my mother or got THROWN out-I still don't know which, my mother has bullshitted about it so many times, and as a result she raised me single-handed.
She gave me this whole big speech all the time I was growing up about how all men are bastards, and how lucky I was to have her to tell me about this.
My mother isn't a lesbian, Doc. I don't think she's even a man-hater. I think what she is, is a COCK-hater. You see, something very unpleasant happened to her sexually, and as a result she was scared of sex.
The only problem was, she rubbed this sex fear off onto me, and when I was growing up she enrolled me in an all-girl school, with all-girl teachers, and she wouldn't even let me play with boys in the neighborhood if she could help it. When I say play with boys, Doc, I DON'T mean playing Doctor or playing You Show Me Yours and I'll Show You Mine. I could understand if my mother got uptight about me playing THOSE games. But the point is she wouldn't let me have anything to do with boys AT ALL, sexually or otherwise.
So I had absolutely no relationship at all with boys, and as a result I grew very introverted about any possible sex life I might someday have. My mother kept telling me that "some day" I'd have to face sex, and I kept putting off that "some day" because, thanks to my mother, I was scared of it.
I was completely scared of sex, Doc. I was a virgin when the thing that happened, happened, the thing that I came here to tell you about. I had practically nothing at all to do with boys, and after a few years of my mother forcibly separating me from boys I wanted to play with I found that I was starting to keep away from them on my own. As the twig is bent, so grows the sapling and all that. You wouldn't get that, Doc, unless maybe you're also a tree surgeon.
Anyway, all year every year, I went to an all-girl school, as I said. And in the summer, when school was out, my mother sent me to a girl's camp. She sent the head counselor a note saying that for health reasons I mustn't be allowed to swim in the lake, which wasn't true at all. I was perfectly healthy. The truth was my mother had heard there was a boys' camp across the lake, and she was taking NO chances. I'm surprised she didn't just soldier me into a chastity belt and throw away the key.
I went to the camp for a few summers, and it was all right. Finally, last year I was sixteen, too old to be a camper, but old enough to be a counselor. The women that ran the place offered me a job there the next summer, since I knew the place so well and because they knew I was a good kid. Well, my mother didn't want me to take the job, but for once in my life I wasn't going to let her bulldoze me. I wanted this job. I could use the money and, more importantly, it gave me a chance to prove to my mother my maturity, my independence. I wasn't a little girl anymore, I was growing up.
After a lot of yelling on both sides I got the job. It was okay, Doc, room and board and pretty good pay. PLUS I got one day off a week to do anything I wanted, even walk right out of the camp just so I got back by midnight.
That was how the trouble started.
My first couple of days off I went with some of the older girls, who had cars, to all the local movies and so on. Naturally they went to these places for one reason and one reason only, to pick up some boys. And they expected me to hold my end up in that regard.
Doc, I was scared to do it. I was scared to face a boy, I wasn't even sure if I WANTED to face one. So I made up an excuse about having a boy friend in Callicoon (one of the nearby towns) so that I wouldn't have to go with the other girls every week. They were impressed that I'd landed me "a steady," not knowing I'd made him up, and they left me alone.
On my days off I used to go off by myself, as far away from the camp as I could get. After a while I started to go hitchhiking, which was something my mother had warned me not to do, but it made me feel daring, and maybe even a little bit grown-up.
One day I was hitchhiking and this car pulled up. The guy who was driving it couldn't have been much more than twenty years old. I was surprised, because most of the people I'd gotten lifts from around here were old ladies who drove '43 DeSotos.
He asked me where I was headed. Right away I wanted to back off, but he'd gone to the trouble of stopping, so I couldn't refuse the lift.
I said I was going as far as he was going, and he seemed to think that that was funny. I wanted to get into the back seat, but he kind of pushed me into the front seat next to him-in a friendly way-and we started to drive off.
He started talking to me, asking me about myself, and after a while I started to unwind. This was the first male I'd ever spent more than five minutes with in my life. I'm NOT making that up, Doc.
I was beginning to get so interested in this guy that I didn't notice we had left the main highway and were driving along a dirt road about ten feet wide, with trees on both sides. There wasn't anybody for miles around.
All of a sudden he stopped the car next to an old barn, which was at the edge of the road. He said that there was some farm equipment in there that he wanted to load into the back seat, and he asked me to give him a hand because it was heavy stuff. I didn't want to refuse, because he'd been nice enough to give me the ride, so I got out of the car and went into the barn with him.
As soon as we got inside he slid the door shut and locked it, and the next thing I knew he was pushing me onto the ground and standing over me with a whip.
THWACK! "Take your clothes off, bitch!" THWACK! "Do as I say this minute!" I was so scared and surprised by this sudden attack that I did what he told me without thinking about it at all. It was cold in the barn and I started to shiver.
He grabbed me by the breasts and pushed me down onto the ground again. I started to holler, "Let me go, let me go!" But he just laughed at me and told me to shut up and take my punishment or else. Then he grabbed me and held me down with his knees while he started to tie me up.
He stood there and laughed at me for a while, then he put one foot on my head and pushed it down into the stuff on the floor of the barn, which was the stuff you usually find on the floor of a barn. Then he said that he MIGHT consider letting me go provided I entertained him first by obeying all his orders.
I was so scared I wasn't able to think straight, so I said I'd do it. So then he ordered me to start rolling all around on the floor of the barn, making sure that I got the dirt and everything else all over me. He saw that and said, "Oh, my, you're all dirty! You'd better take a shower!" And then he unzipped his fly and gave me a shower, but it wasn't the kind that does any good.
When he got tired of that he grabbed another rope and tied one end to my ankles, the other end around my neck. This way my legs were bent into a kneeling position, and I couldn't straighten them out unless I wanted to strangle myself.
He had me get up on my knees and then walk all around the barn kneeling down the whole way, and while I did this he walked two steps behind me giving me another shower. The stuff trickled down my back and itched like crazy. I asked him how long he planned on keeping me there, because if I didn't get something to eat soon I'd starve to death.
He laughed at that and said in that case he'd better give me something to eat. Then he walked around in front of me-I was still on my knees and tied up, Doc-and stuck his, shall we say, shower head into my mouth. It tasted so awful I tried to spit it out but I couldn't, there was so much of it.
He picked up that whip again and said that if I knew what was good for me, I'd start sucking. Well, I started to suck because I was too scared not to.
Up until now, Doc, I had been such a total virgin that I hadn't even known what the thing between a man's legs looked like. When I started sucking that thing I still was pretty ignorant on the subject, so you can imagine how surprised I was when I found out that the thing in my mouth was getting BIGGER! It was like it was ALIVE or something.
As it got bigger it got harder, and by now I was so scared I was literally going crazy. And then all of a sudden that penis just blew up in my face and sent something hot and sticky down my throat, and I was so surprised that all I could think of was to say "Oh, my God, I KILLED IT!"
Well, the guy seemed to be satisfied then. He untied me and gave me my clothes back, and even slipped me ten dollars. "You won't tell anybody about this," he said, "because you'll be too ASHAMED to." And the hell of it is I found out that he was right.
He gave me my clothes back except for my panties, which he said he wanted to add to his collection, and then threw me out of the barn and said to run like hell and not come back. I did. It took me almost an hour to get back onto the main road, and when I got there I was so dirty and walking so strangely-I could still feel the ropes around my naked flesh-that I don't blame anybody for not picking me up. I walked all the way back to the camp, and I ran into the shower-a REAL one this time-and got really clean before anybody had a chance to see me, because that would have been too humiliating for me to stand at all.
Well, Doc, that was the very first encounter with sex I'd ever had. Up until then I'd never even held hands with a boy.
It was the first time, like I said, but it wasn't the last time. I'd like to tell you about what happened to me next, but I see that there's another patient outside, and she looks like a desperate case. So maybe you can give me an appointment to come back some other time, and I'll tell you about it then?
INTERVIEW TWO
Naturally I did not hesitate to give Susan an appointment for another session in my office. I was very interested in her case, more than i was in that of any of the other people I was seeing at the time. (I might add that the so-called "desperate case" which Susan referred to was not a patient at all, it way my wife. And she doesn't suffer from any disease. It happens that she was BORN that way.)
AHEM! At any rate, here is what Susan had to say to me during her return engagement to my office. I have recorded the fascinating account here verbatim:
Well, Doc, here I am again. What I have to tell you now took place right after what I told you about last time, with nothing in between, so I'll just go right into it, unless there's something you forgot about what I told you last time that you'd like me to remind you of.
Oh, you remember it all, huh? Yeah, I figured you would. It's not the kind of thing you forget very quickly, though I guess a doctor like you has heard so many far-out stories that mine must be kind of lost in the shuffle. Well, anyway, here goes.
I think I told you about how, as soon as I got back into camp I ran into the showers and cleaned myself off so nobody would notice anything. Yeah. Well, the problem is they DID notice. They started acting differently around me, and I realized that it was because I was acting different around THEM. I was more paranoid, like everybody was out to tie me up and rape me-what a dumb idea, who'd want to tie ME up?-and I started acting more irritable too.
Well, Miss Nogginbocker, who was the old dyke who ran the camp, called me into her office one day and demanded to know what was wrong. She said, "And you needn't lie about it either. I've seen far too many girls in your condition NOT to know that you've lost your virginity."
Well, Doc, by now I had to tell SOMEBODY, so I told her. Miss Nogginbocker had figured I'd just met some guy and we'd fucked, because that was what usually happened with the girls she'd seen, but when I told her exactly what had happened she seemed surprised. She didn't seem TOO surprised, though, which kind of surprised ME.
She looked at me very oddly for a while, and then she said: "Susan, do the words 'corrective restraint' mean anything to you?" I shook my head. ,'What about 'bondage and discipline'?" I said I thought they were a vaudeville team that played the Palace back in '28.
She looks at me a little harder, then she unlocks a drawer in her desk and takes out some magazines and tells me to look at them.
I did. They were sex magazines. People fucking people, people fucking animals, leather, rubber, plastic, S&M, B&D, A&P-all kinds of sex that I've never heard of.
Miss Nogginbocker tells me about bondage and discipline, and then she said, "Susan, I want you to understand that B&D is a perfectly normal part of human sexuality. Sex is nothing to be scared of, and since B&D is just one of the slightly less popular forms of sex there's no reason to be afraid of it at all. So you had sex with a man. Big deal. That's no crime. Lots of women do it every day. Some even do it for a living."
Well, at first I thought that she was just trying to cheer me up, to help me rationalize about what had happened so that I wouldn't be upset about it. But she kept on talking, and all of a sudden I realized that this woman was trying to bring me INTO the B&D scene!
The next thing I knew, Doc, she was offering to do B&D with me. Right away I backed off. Maybe sex between a guy and a chick is okay, but sex between two chicks or two guys ISN'T. It's a disease, Doc, and people who go in for that are sick. I don't see why they do it, Doc, I really don't, because I think a man and a woman together are just so beautiful that I don't know why anybody would settle for anything else.
Anyway, I told her politely but firmly that she could forget it, and then she looked at me and said I was fired.
I went home in disgrace. My mother didn't know about my sex act, and she wasn't GOING to know, but to her mind just my being fired was a federal offense. All the way home I started thinking about what had happened. I remembered what Miss Nogginbocker had told me. "Don't be afraid of sex." The wheels of the train I was riding stopped going clickety-clack, clickety-clack, and started going don't be afraid, don't be afraid!
Then I remembered what that guy had said to me in the barn, and now the train wheels were going take off your clothes, get on the floor, take off your clothes, get on the floor!
I remembered how I'd felt when he'd done what he'd done, and I remembered how I'd felt when I'd seen the pictures in the magazines that Miss Nogginbocker had showed me. And I heard the train saying to me don't be afraid, don't be afraid, and I suddenly realized that not only was I not afraid of sex, but in fact I wanted it!
And the kind I wanted was B&D. It was all I could think about now. I couldn't wait for another chance to feel a man pulling a rope against my body tightly, and I shut my eyes and relived that day in the barn. And then I opened my eyes and looked out the train window, and another train went by from the Baltimore & Ohio Railway, but by now I was so excited that when I looked at the train instead of seeing "B&O" on the side I saw "B&D." Two hundred freight cars all with "B&D" on the side! That was when I knew I had the bondage scene in me bad.
I HAD to get back into it!
When I went to New York I started talking to an older friend of mine who's more sophisticated about sex than I am. (Her name's Patia, Doc, and she's the one who recommended me to you.) She told me about how she and a friend of hers, named Froggy Somethingorother, used to go to meetings every week of some kind of Society that was into bondage and discipline and punishment. I think it was called the Glockenspiel Society, or something like that.
Naturally I went to the meeting with them, but I told my mother I was going to a slumber party (all girl, of course) and I might be gone all night. I said that in case I picked up some action sooner than I expected to. I went to the meeting with Patia and her friend. It was held in some church for queers called Saint George the Divine or something. (All those fairies think that any guy who dresses funny like those saints did is divine.)
I went to the meeting with them, and it was a bummer. Half the people there were completely strung out, and the other half kept running around yelling, "Are you an S? Are you an M?" And these strange noises kept coming out of one of the darker corners of the room. It was all fucked up. I wasn't interested in ANY of these people, even if they WERE into bondage. They were all weirdos. I remembered how strange Miss Nogginbocker had acted and I was beginning to think all bondage fans are sick. I was starting to think I'd made a mistake.
All of a sudden somebody grabs me from behind by the shoulder, and turns me around. He points at me and says, "You!" And I took one look at his face and I knew oh God, this was it. I couldn't disobey this guy whether I wanted to or not. And the hell of it was I didn't know whether or not I wanted to.
He led me right past a whole bunch of weirdos and into another room, and then he closed the door and locked it. "Take off your clothes," he said softly. "Now!"
I stripped. It was dark in that room. The only light was a tiny red light bulb like in a photographic darkroom. I stripped, and then he had me turn around slowly sp that he could see my body from every angle. I felt embarrassed and pleased at the same time, I don't know why. All of a sudden he pushed me onto the floor, face down, and stuck his boot under my face. "Lick it,., he commanded, and the way he did it it was impossible for me NOT to. As I licked it I could feel him tying my hands behind my back with a leather thong, and I liked the feeling of it biting into my flesh, even though it was so tight that I could hardly feel the blood flowing through my veins.
In a corner of the room was a sawhorse, and he dragged me across the room on my knees and slung me across this with my ass sticking up. Then he tied my wrists to my ankles to' that I couldn't straighten up. I was beginning to get scared a little, I wondered if maybe I was doing the right thing.
I didn't have much time to think about it, though. He tied my elbows against my knees, so that I had even less chance of escaping, and then he picked up a board and let me have it right across the butt. WHAP! Doc, that hurt, but somehow I got the feeling that I WANTED that hurt, that I NEEDED it. I can't explain the way I felt about it to you, but if you've talked to any other bondage freaks maybe you know what I'm talking about.
The board just kept on banging me, WHAP! WHAP! WHAPPITY-WHAP! and somehow the harder it hit me the more excited I got. The only light in the room was that little red light bulb, so that when I looked at my arms and my shoulders and my legs they were all bright red, and I started imagining that I was in Hell, burning up from all the flames, and just the thought of being in those flames, of burning up, of literally getting hot from them made me FEEL hot. The excited feeling I was getting in my butt started to spread through my hips and into my pelvis. I shifted my weight slightly and I felt the edge of the sawhorse press against my clitoris.
All of a sudden I feel this really big explosion inside, and I suddenly KNOW that I'm having an orgasm, which is something I'd never had before. And as soon as that happens the guy stops hitting me and opens the door so all the other people can see me and says, "Behold my latest conquest!" And then all the people started laughing at me, and when that happened the next thing I knew I was having another orgasm, and I loved it.
The guy left the room to pick up some other chick, and Patia and Froggy untied me and took me home. I said that I thought I liked the B&D scene, but I was a little worried about going into it all the way. Patia explained that that was the one big risk of B&D and S&M. That if one did it with strangers, people whom one didn't know, one was taking a hell of a chance. She said that the thing to do was to do it only with people I could trust. People like her and Froggy. And since they had a few friends that they knew THEY could trust, they promised to introduce me to them. And they were sure that the FRIENDS had a few friends, and that the friends of the friends had a few, etc!
Oh, look at the time. Well, Doc, I hope you'll excuse me, but I've got to get out of here. I have to meet some friends. I can come back to your office again if you want, but not for a while yet. I'll be tied up till the end of the month!
CONCLUSION
I am glad to see that Susan, at any rate, had a happy ending to her story. She is now firmly entrenched in the bondage scene and she loves it.
Incidentally, in the passage that I have printed above Susan has pointed out a fact about the bondage scene that is all too true. That there is a very strong risk involved, a risk of permanent physical damage and even death. Even the dominants, the people who are supposedly in charge of the situation, run a very high risk of being attacked by a rebellious submissive. Also, there are a good many dominants of both sexes and all persuasions who get their "kicks" out of posing as submissives, and then overpowering an unsuspecting fellow dominant who picks them up.
So the best thing really is to stick with people you know, people whom you can trust. And if THEY have a couple of friends that they KNOW they can trust and will be glad to refer to you then that's cool, too. Remember, don't practise S&M-or even B&D, which is just as dangerous, although you mightn't think so-with anybody you don't really know very well. Only with people who are close to you, people you love. Like they say in the song, "You always hurt the one you love!"
CASE HISTORY THREE
Subject: Mona Age: Nineteen
INTERVIEW ONE
The girl came in with an almost sullen expression on her face. She was extremely attractive, a brunette with long hair, brown eyes, a very sensual mouth. Her figure was quite impressive, too, with a well-sized bosom. The outstanding feature was the sullen look in her eyes, as if something had happened to her that left her quite resentful, just thinking about it. What struck me however, was the combination of her look of innocence and the sullen expression in her eyes.
How can I tell you, doctor, about this thing that happened to me. It's left me confused, feeling strange. I no longer seem to understand myself. Like I am two different people. Like one is frightened and horrified by what happened to me. And the other, finding it terribly exciting, something that just turned on my body in such a far-out way, that I wonder if I will ever make it back to the way I used to feel.
It started with this guy I met at a nightclub. Frank. A sort of rough-looking fella, not at all the kind that I'm usually fascinated by. He was dressed well, though, and he had these very intense dark eyes that sort of turned me on. He looked like he had exciting ideas in back of his head, and for some mysterious reason, I got fascinated. Like I wanted to know more about him.
He bought me a couple of drinks at the bar, and seemed to have a good flow of money, didn't seem tight with his money. He had a rough edge to his personality that for some reason I found interesting. And yet, the men that I have dated in the past were completely unlike him. I like more sensitive men, slender men, polite men.
Yet there I was drinking with him, turned on by his intense dark eyes, and wondering what it would be like to be close to him.
So when he told me he'd like to take me to his pad where he had some great jazz records, I told him it would be okay. I was curious to see where he lived, what he lived in, and what it would be like to get close to him.
He had an interesting place, surprisingly well-furnished. I didn't know where he got his money and didn't really care. I really didn't want to get involved with him, I was just interested in a one-shot experience. He was cut too rough for my tastes, but I just was intrigued.
We had had plenty to drink at the bar, and when we got to his place, he pulled out some more gin, and made a heavy martini for me. I was fairly drunk and feeling restless. I figured it would be a sex thing. After all, you don't go up to a guy's house, after such drinking, and expect nothing will happen.
And I did want it to happen. I was turned on by the rough edge to him. Like, you might be turned on to a truck driver. The masculine thing, you know what I mean, doctor.
We listened to the jazz, and it was good jazz. It always makes me erotic to listen to it. I wondered when he would make a move.
But he didn't make a move.
That surprised me. He would talk about this and that, play more records, and yet didn't make a move. He would fill my glass with booze, and then some more, never putting a hand on me.
I began to get very drunk, and very disappointed. I wondered if I had happened on a gay bird who just wanted to look and not touch.
I began to try and turn him on. "What do you do for excitement in this dead hole?" I asked. "What dead hole?" His eyes glittered dangerously. And I liked that.
"This dead hole, this one, here." I goaded him, hoping he'd grab me and start fucking me.
"The only dead hole around here is you," he said, his eyes filled with rage.
That almost knocked me out. I mean, I expected sex, but not an insult. No insults. I don't cotton to that, doctor. , "Where the hell do you think you're going, you slut?"
I couldn't believe my ears. The damn insults. "I'm a nice kid who likes a bit of sex, but I don't go for the brutal bit." I glared at him.
"You creep. Who the hell do you think you're talking to. With that foul mouth!"
He stood and slapped my face, hard! "Shut your fucking mouth. I'll tell you when to open it!"
I was shocked out of my skin. It was the last thing in the world that I expected, from him. I mean, I could tell he was a weirdo, somehow, but weirdo in a reasonable way, not this. He looked dangerous.
I was hurt, humiliated, but I didn't want to cross him at that moment. I figured that he was drunk and therefore violent, and would do something terrible if I crossed him. So, I sat down on the chair.
"That's right, cunt. Just do as your told." Then, watching me closely, to see that I didn't do anything sudden, he pulled out some ropes from his back pocket.
"Don't yell," he warned, "or I'll bust you."
And then he tied my hands together behind the chair. Then he pulled my jeans off, so that I was there in my panties. My black nylon panties.
"It's the right color," he said as if to himself, with satisfaction.
Then he tied my legs, spreading my thighs apart, one leg to each leg of the chair. "Listen," he said, "if you make one sound, I'll gag you. I don't want to have to do that."
"What are you going to do?" I was terribly frightened. I couldn't quite figure him yet. What did he want? Was he mad? Or was this his sex thing.
You see, doctor, I'm not an idiot. I have heard of men who get their bangs from tying up women, and working their will upon them. I began to sense that this character fitted in with that sort. The roughness of him. Now, I understood the stuff that I sensed in him. His desire to be a rough, tough master of women.
Well, he was cracked. I was convinced of it. And I would let him play his little game, then get the hell out and try not to ever get caught with a rough playmate like that again.
Meanwhile, I had some curiosity as to what he intended to do.
I mean, I was willing to have sex with him. Why did he find it urgent to tie me? You see, what I mean doctor?
He studied me, then, and then he pulled my laced corset down so that my tits hung over them. His eyes glittered when he looked at them.
"Dead hole!" he said to himself in a rage.
Then I realized that he had taken that as some deadly insult. As if I had done something horrible to him. I mean, all I wanted to do was get him excited.
I had no idea that he would go off the deep end.
"You damn cunts are all alike. You slash at the guys and think you can get away with anything.
"I didn't mean-"
He slapped my face.
"I didn't say you could talk yet. I'll tell you when to use your mouth, you little slut!"
I wanted to cry. My eyes filled with tears. But it didn't seem to reach him. He exulted. He seemed delighted.
"Fucking little cunt," he said, gritting his teeth. Then he went around the chair, looking me over. He came in front of me, stared at my tits. Suddenly, he slapped them, hard! Twice!
I let out a yell of pain.
He then pulled out a gag and put it over my mouth, so that I couldn't make a sound.
"I told you not to scream, you little bitch. Always trying to make trouble. Fucking sluts. Always trying to rip the guys up. We got to teach you cunts!"
He kept raving like that. As if we had done something terrible to him, and that he wanted to make us pay.
My tit hurt, and my face hurt where he hit me.
Then he unzipped his pants and took out his cock and balls.
He had a huge, monstrous cock. I had no idea that it would be that huge. Purple with rage, too, the thing was, staring at me.
I had these terrible mixed feelings. Hating him, and yet feeling a longing for his gigantic cock. I thought what it could do to my pussy, if I had that.
He came over to my face, close. He kept thinking hard, as if he wanted to take the gag out of my mouth, and have me suck his cock. Much as I hated him, I would have done it, just to get him to pop his load. I felt that once he did that, he would absolutely turn me loose!
What he did, then, was rub his cock against my cheek. Then he rubbed his balls against my face.
"You want it, don't you young slut!"
The funny thing is, that I did. I was wild with desire to get hold of his cock and suck it. I found my strange position, helpless, and tied up strangely appealing.
He was the master, the wild, terrible master who had me at his mercy, and ready to do anything.
I felt eager to do anything for him.
I was crazy, it seemed to me, to have such feelings toward this brute. Who had hit me, and tied me up. But I did have them, doctor.
Then, he untied one of my legs, and then the other, and pulled my panties off, so that my pussy was out. He tied my legs again.
I was hoping that he would fuck me. I really did. I figured if only he fucked me, then this terrible situation would end. I would be through with it. But he didn't fuck me.
He just paraded in front of me with his cock and balls out, every so often, rubbing his cock, pointing it at me, like you might a gun.
He stood in front of my face. And he rubbed his cock, and stared at me.
Then, he looked down at my pussy. He stuck his finger in, hard, so that it hurt. I squawked, through the gag.
He became even rougher. He seemed to get kicks out of giving me pain. That was his thing, I began to realize.
He was a monster who could only enjoy himself if he gave me pain. I really felt now that I understood him.
He had been watching me. Now he took the gag off my mouth.
It was a heavenly relief. My mouth muscles had been going in a paralysis, it seemed to me.
"One wrong peep out of you, and back it goes," he warned.
"Damn cunts, always yelling, always wanting it their way, always fucking you up so you don't know which end is up. They gotta be taught a lesson!"
I couldn't tell if he was talking to me or to himself.
But I just couldn't get to his head.
He glared at me, trying to make a judgment of what to do. He had his huge cock in his hand, and was gently rubbing it up and down. My eyes focused on it. It looked so monstrous, big and powerful.
He suddenly turned it up against my lips.
"Open your fucking mouth and suck it,' he commanded.
I was paralyzed. I couldn't make a move.
He opened his hand, ready to slap me.
I opened my mouth. He shoved his cock deep into my mouth, to the back of my throat.
He held it there, almost choking me with it.
"Not one fucking wrong move, kid, or I'll blow you away!"
I had almost thought of biting it clean off, T was that furious. But he knew what was in my head.
Then he brought his face near me and snarled. "Now, start sucking."
I was frightened out of my wits, by what I thought was a madman.
But I would do anything he wanted. I felt he could go crazy and do me some terrible hurt.
So I started sucking.
Instantly, he grabbed my cheek and pinched it hard.
"Suck gentle, kid, or I'll rip you. Treat that thing with care. Don't bruise it, don't hurt it!"
He just knew the right thing to say, because I wanted to rub my teeth over his cock, to tear it up, but he knew that.
So I sucked his cock gently, very gently!
He watched me closely while I did it. Every time I did the slightest thing he didn't like, he lifted his hand to whack me. I took care not to upset him in any way.
He watched me sucking his cock with no expression on his face, mostly studying me. I didn't know if he was enjoying it or not. The trouble is that I began to enjoy it.
I loved that huge monster cock in my mouth. It was turning me on, even though I loathed the guy. I hated him to roughing me up, for treating me like dirt.
After all, I had not done anything to him. Why was his mistreating me like that. It was a madness.
I was sucking him gently, as he had instructed me, then he suddenly started to shove it into me mouth hard and rough as if he were trying to rip the back of my throat off.
He banged against me and hit me with that huge monster meat, as if he were trying to drive it down my throat. I almost gagged. But it was strangely exciting. I felt he was violating more than my throat. He was trying to violate something inside me, more precious. It was a mystery.
But I began to enjoy sucking that huge monster thing, just because it turned on these wild feelings in me. And that was what he picked up. That in spite of his violent thrusts, I was enjoying it.
That made him stop, right in his tracks.
He didn't want me to enjoy myself! That was the crazy thing about it.
When he pulled his giant cock out of my mouth, I felt a terrible loss, as if something precious to me had got away. It baffled me. Why should I care about this stranger's cock, and feeling a sense of loss. I mean, who was this Frank to me.
Nothing! Just a weird guy who thought I had hurt his feelings.
And was trying to pay me back. Revenge himself. How? By fucking me in the mouth when I didn't want it.
But when I began to enjoy it, then he pulled it away. It was strange, crazy. But he was twisted in his head, I could easily see that.
"You're enjoying it too fucking much, you goddam cunt. You like sucking my cock, don't you? You don't deserve it! "
He stood in front of my face and stroked his cock with his hand, as if tempting me with its nearness. It was huge and swollen, and pink, and it had the juices of my mouth on it.
I felt terribly turned on, looking at it. My throat ached to have it back in there. But I didn't dare to show it. I tried to mask it. For he always was in there, studying the look in my eyes, reading my feelings. It seemed very important for him to know what I felt.
This guy then paraded back and front of me, stroking his cock, and staring at me, making a jab at me. And watching me open my mouth to receive him.
Then he would just laugh.
"Slut! Can't wait to get your mouth around my cock, heh? No. You ain't getting it that easy."
Then it seemed he wanted me to talk.
"You think I'm a bad guy, don't you. But who started the abuse. You or me? Who called my home a dead hole? Until that time, I hadn't laid a hand on you. I was treating you with respect. Then suddenly, you're coming on with shit. You threw shit on me, didn't you?"
He stared at me, waiting for my answer.
"Well. Do you want me to talk?"
"Yes-cunt, talk. Justify it. Tell me why you put me down. Put down the place that I live in."
"Well, Frank." I tried to be personal with him. I used his name. Like I didn't want him to think that I thought all this was a horror. I wanted him to think that I was friendly. That I understood him. Just so he wouldn't do horrible things to me.
"Well, Frank," I said, "It was really because I was attracted to you that I said that. I wanted to get involved with you. I wanted to have sex with you."
His lip curled and he sneered. "Oh, you wanted to have sex, so you said. What do you do for excitement in this dead hole?" That's a laugh! That's a riot!"
And he shoved his cock up against my lips and rubbed it on them.
I wanted to snap at him, to tear his cock right off with my teeth, I was so furious for the moment.
His face grew hard. "Watch your fangs, cunt. Or I'll file them down. You'll have to gum your food!"
I was terrified to hear him say such things. I really felt he could be capable of it!
Filing down my fangs! What a wild idea!
And he could read me. he could read my thoughts. "Oh, so you think that's terrible, do you? But you don't think it terrible for you to rip off the top of my cock? That's not terrible!"
And, when I thought about it, doctor, he was right. After all, I wanted to snap off the top of his cock. That would leave him in a pretty miserable condition, wouldn't it?
He walked around, his cock and balls out of his pants, and talked. Then he came up in front of me, looked at my cunt, out in the open, stretched apart, because my legs were strapped each to the chair. And he pointed to it.
"You fucking women think because you got that goddam slit, you got the world by the balls. You think all you got to do is spread your legs, and the guys will kill themselves to get it. You think you got the guys in your power. Well, that's a lotta shit. Some of us guys know how to treat you cunts. Put you where you belong."
Suddenly he went down to one of my legs, untied it from the chair, then tied it to the other foot, so that my legs were now close together.
He untied my hands from the chair, but tied them behind my back.
He lifted me from the chair and brought me into the middle of the room.
I stood there, wondering what would happen now.
But it was hard to stand like that. My balance wavered.
I started to fall toward the rug. He caught my fall so that I was in his arms for a moment. His arms were hard, his body muscular. I had no idea how strong he was. It was exciting. I felt totally at his mercy.
He let me go down to the rug slowly.
I lay there on my side, my hands behind me, my feet together, looking up at him.
I felt so humiliated, lying down there, that some of my anger came up out of my eyes.
I could see that turned him on. "Oh, you poor thing. You feel mistreated? I'll show you something about mistreatment"
He took his pants off. He had a powerful pair of buttocks and strong legs. He was really a physical specimen. If I didn't hate him that much, I might feel powerful desires for him.
Then, he sat on my face! Like that!
I couldn't believe it. He planted his muscular ass right over my face, so that I was up against the split of his buttocks.
"Kiss my fucking ass," he said. His voice was low, compelling, pretty frightening.
"Kiss it!"
My heart beat with fear. I felt I was dealing with a madman. I kissed it.
"Kiss it again and again. Keep on kissing it. Like it's the most beautiful face in the world. Like you love doing it!"
I kept on doing it. It was unbelievable. But the more that I did it, the more exciting it became.
"Put your tongue on my ass! Lick it!"
I was horrified, yet fascinated. I did it. I put my tongue on his tail. I licked his ass. I did it again and again.
And again, the experience became interesting to me. I felt as if I was doing all sorts of forbidden, terrible things. And yet although I started out with this tremendous fear and horror-the feeling would change.
I would be sunk in this feeling of being degraded and pleasure. The crazy mixed up thing. It never would be anything straight. Like straight horor. Part of me craved it, after I did it for a while.
Here was this powerful, low brute, commanding me to do things to him that should horrify me. But instead, I found myself sexually aroused by them.
My cunt, actually, was juiced up by what I found myself doing.
Then, again, as if he understood, from the way I was licking his ass, that I was beginning to get some erotic pleasure from it, again he took it away.
Like taking away something that you enjoyed, like a parent taking away a piece of pastry from a kid, just because he liked it!
That's what I felt.
He walked around, and looked at my ass, then. He studied it, like it was some fascinating specimen.
"Talk about your 'dead hole'. What have you got there? A dead hole. Why don't I make it a bit lively, huh. And then slapped my ass. At first it hurt. I almost cried out. But I kept my teeth clenched. I didn't want to get more of it." He would hurt me, always the more, just because I made sounds. He wanted me silent. Otherwise, it would be the gag again. That that hurt my mouth terribly.
I wanted my mouth free, too, I must confess, because perhaps he would put his cock in it again. I wanted a free mouth and tongue, so that if he would only put his gigantic cock in my mouth, I would have the ecstasy of sucking it. That's what was in my mind. So I clenched my teeth while he slapped my ass.
He slapped it, and bawled me out for the 'dead hole' remark. I think he used that one damned line over and over, to let him do the most abusive things to me. Surely, it had to be some excuse. It couldn't be that I had just hurt his feelings.
Again and again, he slapped my ass. And doctor the same terrible thing began to happen in my mind.
The pain became blocked out by the sexual pleasure that went streaking through my loins. I actually felt an intensifying pleasure in my cunt. I think that I began to crave his ass slapping, yearning for it, more and more, because of the strange excitement in my cunt.
"Dead hole," he hissed in my ear and he slapped my ass. "I'm making your dead hole come to life, ain't I? that big, white fucking ass of yours. I suppose you think that I'm finally going to stick my cock in your hungry cunt and satisfy it. That's really what you're waiting for.
"Just like you'd like me to shove my cock down your throat. That would make you deliriously happy. I know!"
And, doctor, he hit it right on the head. It would. I was burning with lust. I wanted him to shove his cock into me. Somewhere, anywhere, to give me release from the terrible build-up of passions, the great sex frustration that was all over my body.
I needed release. I needed his cock. All the terrible frustrations that I had endured needed to get off! And the only way would be through his cock.
But he knew it. He was so crafty and clever. He had outwitted me every way I could think of. What he had been doing, all the time, was turning me on! With his clever tricks. With his abuse. His cruel treatment. His twistings and temptings. He had raised my sex desires to the highest pitch.
I wanted him. I wanted his cock. The lust was unbearable just about this time.
He had been studying me, as I have said, closely. And now he seemed to see the despair and the crazy passions in me.
A gleam of triumph appeared in his eyes.
He untied one of my legs so that I could spread.
And he said, "I know you want my cock. You think I'm going to give you my cock in your mouth and in your cunt. But it's not going to be the way you think."
He then tied one of my legs to the bottom of the couch, the other to the heavy chair, so that I was spread eagled on my belly. He then put the gag back in my mouth.
My heart was beating like a trip hammer. It was impossible to describe the excitement that shot through me. I felt we were coming to some climax, that he would fuck my cunt from behind.
But it was not to be!
He wanted to fuck my ass!
My ass! My virgin ass. I had never had a cock up my ass. I have a tiny asshole. Some guys, in the past, have tried to get past the open gate but they never could.
Could it be possible that he intended to get his huge cock into my delicate little tail?
"I'm going to bust your virgin ass," he said, and he waved his thick monstrous cock in front of my eyes, just to let me know what a violation it would be. That he would be ripping the living hell out of my ass with that huge hunk of meat.
It was a good thing that he had put that gag in me, because I would have set up a terrible yell!
I shook my head. My eyes pleaded with him.
All he did was study my misery, my fright, and it excited him more. I could even see the action in his giant cock that throbbed right in front of my face.
Then he got behind me, and spread the cheeks of my ass, pointed his cock at my ass, and started to work in.
It was like trying to stuff a salami up my ass. Just unbelievably hard and monstrously big. I could feel the huge meat shoving its way in.
I wanted to scream, and screech, and pound the floor, to let him know how I was suffering.
But the more that I suffered, the more his pleasure. He grinned. He would turn my face toward his, so I could see him, and he could see me as he raped my asshole.
He kept on shoving it in, and the pain was excruciating. I felt myself being torn in two by that huge monster and its movement forward. It kept on coming and coming inside me, until I felt hugely stuffed. Then no more movement.
He had gotten all the way in! He had raped my virgin ass.
He just lay there.
And, my body started to adjust to the presence of that huge monstrous cock inside me. The big gigantic thing filling my rear.
Then, I have to say it again, doctor, the same thing happened. The pain seemed to ease away, and the pleasure began to saturate my nerves. I began to feel a rising sex excitement. This time, it went swiftly to its peak.
A powerful, overwhelming excitement that seemed to keep rising to an unbearable level and intensity.
For then he began to fuck me in the ass.
And it was not a gentle fuck. He started to go in and out in an actual frenzy. Like he had to get his rocks off instantly, as fast as he could. Like he didn't give one sweet shit what happened to me. I was just the cavity for his pleasure, for his violation. All he wanted was to fuck the ass off me.
And he did that. I have never in all my life had a fuck like that.
A ripping, roaring fuck, that made my nerves grow taut as piano wires. And I felt the sensations ripping through my cunt. I was feeling the sex in my cunt while he was ravaging my ass. I wanted to scream, but not with the pain of it, but with the ecstasy. The wild, frenzied, frantic pulsations of joy that were ripping through my cunt.
It was the greatest turn-on of my life!
Then, I felt his cock swell into its great monstrosity, push against the sides of my ass, and the hot spurt of his juice into my ass!
It trigged my own great come! A crashing, slashing orgasm that I had never before experience!
It was a madness. I could even now, doctor, feel the sweep of joy in my cunt that I felt in there, on the floor in Frank's place.
He left his cock in my ass after the spurt. He had emptied himself, and now, somehow, it seemed to subdue him. He had done his thing.
And he had done something crazy to me.
After about ten minutes, he had been lying there, not doing a thing, letting his cock grow small, tiny in my ass, so that it finally slipped out.
I could feel his juice sliding out of my ass, too.
And, then he got up, went to the bathroom. Cleaned up, I guess.
When he came back, he was about as different a man as I could ever imagine. A regular Jekyll-Hyde.
"Listen. I know you had a good time. I was a bit rough. But, frankly, it was a game. You wanted it that way. I believe you did. I think you like sex in a game like this. That's the way that I read you at the bar. I'm not all that crazy. Like at the end, I think you got your rocks off better than ever before. Didn't you? Well, I wasn't wrong about it. So, don't hold it against me.
"The sad part is that much as we enjoyed it, I don't think we can do it together with each other again. It's over. I think that, in time to come, you may want to try this sort of thing with me. But it won't work. Not again. It's a one shot thing. We both had a little freaky fun. Not the common kind. But it was worth it. I think you'll believe that. After all, you're not hurt in any real way. A few light bruises on your ass. That's about it. Okay, now you can go. You don't have to say a word. Just go."
That's what he said to me, doctor. That. And all that he said was true. He just gave me the biggest orgasm of my life. But I couldn't ever get it back with him. According to him, it wouldn't work again, mostly, because I wouldn't believe in his sadism, I suppose. I would know it was just a game. And therefore the thing would not work.
So, doctor, where the hell am I now? I am confused about sex. I don't know if I'm supposed to go out looking for cruel, sadistic men so that I can get pleasure from sex again. In the normal way. A normal fuck. I don't find a normal fuck that exciting anymore. I never reach the agonizing peak of ecstasy that I reached with Frank. But he won't play anymore. What can I do, doctor?
CONCLUSION
Poor Mona had had a striking experience of masochistic submission to a sadistic master. I told her that she had parts in her personality that craved this cruel sort of treatment. That it had probably originated from a male parent who had treated her badly at a time when she was growing up. And that, part of her craved for that treatment, since it came from her father, and that she had obscure impulses of sexual feelings toward her father that she never quite admitted openly to herself.
And that this man Frank, had been recognized by her, at the bar, as having the same cruel streak that existed in her father. She responded to it. Just as Frank had been aware, at the bar, that her submissiveness craved a master relationship. They recognized that they needed each other for the sex and the behavior they unconsciously craved.
That Frank knew, from the beginning, she would make some provocative comment that would justify him in abusing her.
And she knew, from the beginning, that he had elements of sadism that would be sparked by something she would do.
And they would together climax in a sexual embrace of terrifying intensity.
I told her, then, that she would need deep therapy to understand the strain in her that desired her own humiliation. And that it would take a long time for her to understand it. But that with my help, she would not necessarily have to search out men like Frank to find sexual fulfillment for herself.
CASE HISTORY FOUR
SUBJECT: Patty H. AGE: Twelve
INTERVIEW ONE
It was hard to believe the girl in my office was twelve. She was so well developed for that age. As if nature was in some hurry to bring her to the ripe time for sexual involvement. She was dark-haired, long hair that went long to her shoulders. Brown eyes, and a lovely face. Her lips were full but looked bruised. With good reason, as it turned out.
I had just left my girl friend's house that night. It was much later than I usually leave. Just because we got into watching this late movie. And I should have left earlier, but I had to see the ending. So, there I was on the street, doctor, when I should not have been. I know that. It must have been close to midnight.
I didn't have but two blocks to go, though, to get back to my house, and I started to walk fast. The street was empty, and there was nobody on it, so I felt safe. But before I realized what happened, this car screeched to a halt beside me, and these two guys jumped out. One had his hand around my mouth before I knew what was happening, and they pulled me into the car!
It was terribly frightening. I tried to struggle, but they were so strong that they held me like a vise. And then the car started off, fast, and it streaked right out of my neighborhood.
The guy holding me, then said. "Don't make any noise. We won't hurt you. But if you start up anything, we're going to knock you out. We'll blow you away. Get that?"
I was frightened out of my wits, but didn't dare to scream. I thought they were desperate criminals. Anyone who would grab a girl off the street had to be pretty horrible guys.
Then, they put a stinking handkerchief over my eyes, so that I wouldn't see the streets that we were going down. But I felt sure they were driving in circles, and they were staying in my neighborhood.
They then stopped. They had bound my hands behind me, so that I couldn't fight. And they stuffed a gag in my mouth, so that I couldn't scream.
I figured they were going to rape me in the car, then dump me.
It was a terrible, frightening thing. I cursed my stupidity for waiting so late before starting for home. My parents had always warned me about that. Especially in my neighborhood, where there are some wild, crazy guys.
I figured that it had been just one of those crazy coincidences. That they had been scouting the streets, and they saw a girl and just grabbed her. And that they must do that sort of thing over and over.
I had such fear that my throat seemed to close. I could hardly breathe. I thought they might rape me and kill me. The craziest ideas went through my head. I couldn't get any idea of who they were, or how old, or what nationality. My first impression of them was too shadowy. They both wore hats, pulled over their eyes. Smoking cigarettes, like an old gangster type in the movies of the forties.
They were scum, I felt. Lousy, rotten scum. Guys who picked on young girls and ran them off the streets and fucked them. Rotten scum! I wish that I had some weapon to destroy them. I felt a terrible fury.
I wanted to blast them to hell.
But also, I was frightened. It was terrifying to have to wait in that car and see what they would do to me.
They didn't talk. They seemed to know exactly what they wanted. To get somewhere, take me somewhere. And then, god knows what. I'm not religious, doctor, but I began to pray. I prayed that somehow I wouldn't get hurt. That I would never be careless again.
Then finally, they stopped. They apparently waited for something to happen. On the street. Like there was something there who had to go into a house, then they could get me out.
The street was silent. And then they opened the door, and each grabbed my arm, and they ran me across the sidewalk to a door. It opened on the street level. A wooden door. It creaked, then swung open. I came into what must have been a wooden floor and a hall.
We walked loudly on the floor, then obviously came into a room.
The light went on, I could tell from the lower part of my blindfold.
Then they took off my blindfold.
There were these two guys. One a dark guy, swarthy, dark skin, but muscular. Like he lifted weights. And the other guy was blondish. Light skin, light hair. They were about late twenties.
"Well, let's look at her, Joey," said the blond guy. And he pulled me into the light for a close look.
"Wow. She's a looker!" he said.
Joey, the dark guy, came over and also looked. He didn't smile or say anything, just looked. I felt a terrible surge of danger. I thought immediately that he was my enemy. That he might try to do me harm. He hated me without knowing me. I could tell.
It had nothing to do with me. He just hated me. Maybe he hated girls, but whatever the reason, I was in bad danger.
But I could do nothing. They had tied my hands behind me. I was like helpless.
I could have scratched their eyes, out, that's the fury that I felt if I ever got free.
Joey looked at me again. "This cunt hates us," he said.
That shocked me. I hated him? Did I grab him off the street?
Joey nudged the blonde boy. "Lookit those eyes, Danny. She hates us, I tell you."
"Take her gag out. Let's hear what she has to say."
Joey warned me. "Listen. We'll take this rag out. But if you yell, we'll destroy you. And you'll get the gag for the rest of the night. Dig?"
I nodded.
They took out the gag.
"Please let me go," I begged. "I won't say a word. I'll forget I ever saw you. Please don't hurt me. I'm just a kid. I don't know anything. You'll get in big trouble if they ever find out."
"How they going to find out, kid. First we got to let you go," said Dan.
"Yeah. What makes you think we'll let you go. We got a lot of fun ahead for you tonight, kid."
"Why? What are you going to do to me?"
"Don't get your cunt in an uproar, we'll going to teach you some nice things. That is, if you don't know them already."
"Wait a minute. Be smart boys. I don't want to learn anything new. I'm too young for anything. Whatever you have in mind. Don't do anything that could get you in trouble. I'm not worth it. I'm just a kid, I tell you."
"You a kid. With that shape! You trying to fog it up. What's your age?"
"I'm only twelve."
They laughed. " 'Only twelve!' You must be dreaming. Oh, you're a kid, but you ain't no twelve."
"Yeah. I swear it, I'm just twelve. I know that I look older. I try to look older. But that's my age. I'm inexperienced. I don't know anything about life or anything. So, give me a break, guys. Let me go. I swear that I won't say anything."
Then Joey got pissed off, just like that.
He slapped my face. "Stop whining like that, you cunt! I don't care what the hell your age is. And you're lying anyway. And if you got no experience, well, we're going to give it to you, right now. We'll teach you the facts of life, kid. You're lucky you're gonna get it from us. Hey, Danny boy?"
"Yeah, she's lucky to get it from guys like us. Instead of some slobs in her neighborhood."
And he winked to Joey, so I knew instantly that they were from our neighborhood.
Then Joey said to his friend, "Bind her."
And Danny got these ropes and tied my arms, as well as my hands, which already were tied.
Then he pulled off my shirt, so that my breasts were naked. Just like that!
I have plenty of breast, doctor, as you can see. And it made quite an impression on them.
"Look at the size of that tit, Joey. And she claims only to be twelve. She's a fuckin liar."
"Yeah, Danny. Teach her a lesson. That she mustn't lie. Suck her tits."
And Danny grabbed my tit, hard as he could and started to suck my tit, just like that. An amazing thing!
He sucked my tits so hard, and it hurt so much, I thought he was going to bite it off. "
"You're hurting, you're hurting me!"
He bit on my tit, then let go.
"What the hell do you think, you little cunt. You're lucky that I let you keep your tit. That I don't bite it all off!"
"You rotten scum, you lousy, rotten scum. You just wait till my dad gets hold of you. He'll rip your tongue out." I was swearing at him.
He slapped my face, real hard.
"Get her pants off," ordered Joey. "We gotta teach her respect.
And they got my panties off, though I kicked at them. But I was tied, and my movements were too tight.
Then Joey took his cock out of his pants and waved it in my face. It was a hard, swollen red-monster of a cock. It frightened the hell out of me, doctor. Although at the same time it was exciting to see. An unbelievable thing to see for me. I had never seen anything like it. Actually, I am a virgin. I've never had a guy's sex organ near me or exposed to me. All I have ever seen of them is pictures. Or in museums. Never in a condition of excitement.
And there it was, a big, swollen thing, just jumping in my face.
'Now you lick that thing," he said. "And do it gently. Don't you do anything rough to it, or I'll belt you. Understand."
He stood there with his fist, ready to throw it at me.
It was too shocking an idea. To lick a thing like that. I didn't like its look, I didn't like the guy it belonged too. I didn't like anything about it.
And he wanted me to lick his dirty tool!
But he was ready to knock the shit out of me if I didn't. He had his fist cocked and I could see that he was dead serious.
He brought his cock up against my cheek, rubbed it. And he purred.
"Boy, this kid's got satin skin. Just like the skin on my cock!"
Danny laughed as if it were the funniest thing he hear.
Then he opened his pants and brought out his cock. Another huge thing, but not as big as Joey's, with blonde hair. He had blonde pubic hair, just like on his head. And the skin of his cock was lighter.
He got to my other cheek, and rubbed his cock on my right cheek.
They found it funny, doing that. "Now, baby, open your lovely big mouth. Cause Joey has a nice present for you. A nice fat juicy cock. Open your fucking mouth, kid!" And he slapped my face. Hard.
It brought tears to my eyes, sudden-like.
I felt that they would destroy me if I didn't do what they wanted. They had me totally in their power. What could I do? They would blow me away, if I didn't obey them.
So I opened my mouth. And expected the worst.
First Joey stuck his cock in my mouth. It was a big fat hunk of meat. I just let it stay there. I was in shock.
He got hold of my tit and squeezed it painfully.
"Suck it, kid. Just don't sit there!"
So I started to suck it. Tears were coming down my cheeks, but I sucked his dirty ole cock. It was huge and throbbing in my mouth.
"Run your tongue under it. Do something, stupid!"
He was getting passionate doing that. Like he was turned on by what he was doing.
And what was he doing. He was sticking his cock in a little kid, and forcing her to suck him. it was a disgusting thing to be doing.
And, then, this funny thing happened to me, doctor. I have to be honest, don't I?"
I found it interesting. I began to feel funny tingles in my cunt, doing that. That it stopped being painful and began to get pleasant. I hated myself for feeling like that, but that's what began to happen.
A horror. Like I was beginning to like what these two lousy, rotten scum were doing.
Because, then Joey then took his cock out, and Danny put his cock in.
A different cock. A different taste. But still, a big turn-on in my cunt. I found myself sucking on it without any urging. I got a big charge sucking on his cock, too. It was terrible.
INTERVIEW TWO
And just when I was getting used to sucking Danny's cock, and beginning to enjoy its taste, again he pulled it out.
Then Danny says to Joey, "Do you want her mouth? Cause if you do, I'll take the other."
"Yeah," said Joey. "I'll come in her mouth. Then you do your thing."
Okay, Danny said, and he sat down to watch, Then Joey comes up in front of my face. He points to his throbbing big monster of a cock. And says. "Now, kid, I want you to suck this thing like you have never sucked anything before.
Make it dance, make it sing. And when I go off, I want you to catch every drop of my joy juice in your fucking mouth. If you lose one drop, you'll get it, pow!" And he swung his fist in the air, as if he would hit me.
I felt funny. I had this insane mix in my head. That it would be the most exciting and most frightening thing that I had ever done.
Why oh why was I in this terrible spot. What evil had I done to deserve it. I have been a good girl. I never gave my parents any trouble. I was liked by my teachers and my friends.
And yet, here I was, locked in this terrible place with two sadistic bastards who wanted me to suck off their cocks.
I wanted to slip through the floor out of life. And I wanted to suck his cock! That's how crazy it was in my head, doctor. Why, I just don't know.
My cunt was feeling excited.
So that when he put his cock in my mouth, I began to suck it. To suck it hard, to do the best that I could, because I pretended to myself that he would hit me if I didn't. He would massacre me.
That gave me the excuse to myself to suck his big thick fat cock and act like it wasn't my fault. They forced me to do it!
Because my hands were behind my back, tied, I couldn't control the movements of his cock in my mouth. So it slipped around. And I was clumsy. I had little experience doing it. Although I began to find it easier, because of the shape of that meat. It was thrilling to do, after a time. Unbelievably exciting.
Then Joey got hold of my head, held it still so that he could fuck my mouth. He held it firm and stuffed his cock in. Again and again, he stuffed his cock in.
He got terribly excited. His face twisted all and scowled. He was feeling terrible excitements, I could see it.
"Suck my damned cock, suck it like you love it, kid. Eat me. Eat it!"
He raved like that, holding my head and shoving his cock in as hard as he could.
And the guy Danny, watched, his eyes gleaming, holding his cock in his hand, and stroking it every so often. His big swollen cock. Even while I sucked Joey, I kept wondering what the hell would be happening when I got through, and Danny came on stage.
What would he do with this big thing!
Would he shove it in my throat, too.
Or in the other place.
I still was a virgin. I had a terrible fear that he would slash into my cunt and break my cherry. I trembled for it. I thought it would be a rough, terrible violation. I was trembling at the thought of it.
All of this went through my mind as I sucked on Joey's cock. And while he stuffed it into my mouth.
It was terrifying to eat that cock. And fascinating, too. I felt the juices running in my cunt. I was turned-on in my cunt. I knew it.
I almost wanted Danny to stick his big thing in my pussy. I longed for it. I felt sexually awakened by this rough terrible experience. This violation.
Then, Joey's swelled up into some kind of a gigantic thing in my mouth, and he started yelling, "Suck it, suck it" and then his cock spit out that thick, spermy stuff, gushing it all into my mouth and throat.
"Swallow it, swallow it, you cunt," he yelled almost blue in the face.
And I tried and tried to swallow it, but I gagged, and couldn't breathe. And I pulled my face away, to get breath.
And he hit me when I did that. A sharp, open-handed slap on the cheek.
I began to cry again.
He told me to shut up, and lick the cream off his cock, since I hadn't swallowed it right.
He held his hand up as if he would rip off another if I didn't do it.
So I licked his creamed cock off. All of it.
It had this salty taste, but I didn't care. I don't think I cared anything about it, or about anything else.
"Don't think you're through, you little fucking cunt," Danny then said, coming up to me with his thick, hard cock.
I felt despair, that I would now have to wrestle with another thing like that. I just wanted to die, almost.
"Here, kid, I'm going to make a woman of you," he said to me.
He laid me on the bed. He tied one of my legs to one post, the other to the other post.
Then he took his pants down. He had these strong, muscular legs, with blond hairs. He had blond hair on his chest, too.
And blond hair on his balls.
The first thing he did was bring his balls up to my face.
"You haven't had the good luck to suck balls, have you, kid. Well, here's your great chance."
And he put his balls in front of my lips.
And he held his hand out threateningly, to let me know what would happen if I didn't perform.
I took his balls in my mouth and licked them. First one then the other. Then both. He seemed to like it.
And I liked it too. It's terrible to admit, doctor. But I found it thrilling to do that. I liked his body. He had a beautiful body, a real male body, and the blone hair made him look really handsome and strong.
"Kiss my cock, just for openers," he told me.
I kissed his cock. I suppose, doctor, if he told me to kiss his ass, I would have done it, without waiting a moment.
"Now, little ole pussy, I'm going to cremate your cunt with his cock of mine,"
"I'm a virgin," I told him. "Please let me keep my virginity."
They roared. They thought that funny.
"You ought to consider yourself lucky, kid. You're going to get deflowered by an expert."
Then Joey, sitting in the chair, smoking, laughed. "Expert. Okay, hot stuff, let's see the great expert break a cherry."
Danny laughed. "You got a ringside seat, kid."
Then he got between my legs, looked at my cunt, real close. "Hey, this is a great looking pussy. I'm gonna eat it a bit."
And he started to put his tongue to my pussy. It was thrilling. I felt his tongue digging into my cunt, driving in. It was crazy, but I started to flow with juice. He turned me on. Though I hated his guts, and had to remember he was raping me. And that I should not be feeling sexy. But I did, I felt sexy, and wished I was a thousand miles away, I was so ashamed.
But what could I do. They had me tied down, and I was their victim.
He then I had to take what they dished out. I was tied down. I couldn't fight. They were strong and big.
So, I twisted and squirmed while he ate my pussy. And I really began to come, it was such a turn-on!
I really got the thrill of my life, for he kept eating me, digging his tongue on the most sensitive place in my pussy. He knew where to put it.
"I'm turning the cunt on," he said, looking up at my face.
He could see the pleasure, he could read it. I couldn't hide the feelings that were storming through me.
Then he spread my pussy, and brought his cock up to it.
I was terrified. Such a huge monster. I felt as if he was going to operate on me. Never such a big thick thing close to me. How could it ever get into the slit. It just didn't seem possible.
He pushed in. I was wet from his eating me.
His cock head slid in. The big thing, but it hurt. I felt myself getting spread by him. The monster cock was slipping in, more and more of it.
He was pushing all my virgin flesh in front of him. It kept separating.
I felt the hurt. It was terrible. Painful. Like an agony. Like a huge thick pole was being rammed into my pussy.
And he kept coming at me. There was no stopping him. I couldn't bring my legs together, they were tied apart.
He just pushed, and I squirmed and twisted, but couldn't get away from his stabbing cock.
He pushed and I almost screamed as I felt the flesh break away under his thrusting cock.
He had broken through the skin, the hymen, and he was in. All the way. I felt myself bleeding. I felt a gush of wetness in my pussy. I knew it was blood. vHe had cracked me in two. I was no longer a virgin. I wanted to cry again. But I was through crying. There was nothing left for me. Every kind of dirty thing they could do to me, they seemed to want to do.
And then Danny kept fucking me. He just kept on fucking, driving his cock into me, pulling it out, then pushing it in.
And he went on doing that until I realized that my body was expecting his thrust, and was enjoying it. That the pain had disappeared and that now it was pleasure time.
I loved the feelings that began to flood my cunt. I had nerves in there that had never been touched before by a cock. That were discovering the cock.
It thrilled me to the heart!
I never had had such a marvelous experience before. I felt his long, great cock sliding into me, to the very depths of me.
And then, I felt him yell as he started to come. His juice spurted in my cunt, hot, scalding sperm juice, flooding my cunt with it.
I wanted to scream, too, from the excitement that I was feeling. Because I came, too.
That was it, doctor. He pulled out his cock. It was bloody and white with his cream.
They then took me out of there, blindfold.
Warned me not to say a word about it.
And dropped me two blocks from where I had been.
The most terrifying experience of my life. And the most exciting!
CONCLUSION
This child had been violated in the most brutal manner by two thugs, who exploited her body for their own pleasure. It was a tragic introduction to sex. In spite of the pleasure, she could confuse pain and pleasure in her mind. Deep therapy was called for to get her straight. To rid her of the horrible experience and bring her back to the normal world.
CASE HISTORY FIVE
SUBJECT: Milly AGE: Sixteen
INTERVIEW ONE
The girl was pretty, with long brown hair and blue eyes, who looked almost mature for her age. Although slender, she had surprisingly well-developed bosom. She looked bright, but apparently, her experience had left her badly confused. She seemed anxious to get a handle on what happened to her.
I had been walking along the road from Mr. Wingate's farm where I had picked some apples. It was just about dusk, and I wanted to get back home fast. My old man can be something fierce if I get back too late, and slow down the supper. He sort of raps on me whenever he can. He's a hateful guy, doctor, because of the way he finds pleasure in roughing me up. I can't tell you how much I hate his guts. He's not my real father, but my step-father, and I don't know whether he raps my butt because he wants to really punish me, or to get his rocks off.
Anyway, I'm sort of afraid of him, and I hated the idea of getting back late. So, when this car came poking along, I held up my thumb. Our neighborhood is fairly okay, and I never heard of anything happening to anyone who got picked up.
So, we thumb rides in our neighborhood without a second thought.
The man in the car was about forty five, a husky guy in a blue windbreaker, new around our parts. But there was no reason to think twice about taking a lift from him.
"How about a lift, mister. I'm going four miles down the road."
"Hop in kid," he says, nice and cool.
When I got in, he offered me a cigarette, which I took, and he lit up. Then he started to drive, slowly.
He had the music on, some jazz station that I never listened to.
"You live around here, I guess," he said.
He had a harsh voice, guttural, like he did a lot of drinking. In fact, I smelled booze on him, something that didn't hit me at first.
"Yeah. I live at four corners. Ain't you from around these parts? "
"Just traveling through," he said.
"Well, I haven't seen you before."
He smiled. "No, you haven't." Then he turned and looked at me, real close. He had these brilliant blue eyes, too bright, not the kind that you see in people. And they stared hard, like they were looking right through you. His look went pretty tight on my boobs, and he went down the rest of my figure, and back to my face. He took a real hard inventory, I'd say.
I felt then as if I had been totally undressed. Then, I began to wonder if I had made any mistake to get into this guy's car.
"Go to school?"
"Yeah. The local school."
He grinned. "What do you learn there, kid?"
I didn't like the way he said 'kid'. He was no thing of charm.
"I guess I learn everything that you learn in a high school."
"You sound like a pretty bright kid. What are you gonna do after that. After school."
"Get a job, I guess. Work. Get away from this dump town."
"Don't like the town?"
"Well-would you. Look at it. Nothing much goes on here. We're sort of cut away from the main stream. As you can see."
He looked around, real thoughtful. "Yeah, it's cut away all right. Looks like the very end of civilization out here."
"Well, it ain't that bad. We get some intake. We got TV, and a movie house and a school."
He smiled. "You got TV. I guess you learn a lot from that, don't you?"
"Plenty." I felt this guy was nothing much, the way he talked. Always like sarcasm. Like he was sneering at things. At the place you lived, at your school, at the things you did. He was definitely a negative character. I wish to hell that I had not got into his car, and was thinking of telling him that I had reached my place, just so I could get out.
"Are you a salesman or something."
He grinned. "Yeah, I'm a salesman or something."
"You look more like something than a salesman," I said, just cause his tone was so irritating.
I suppose that was the wrong thing to say. Because he didn't smile at that, just stared at me, and his look was definitely hostile. I thought it would be all the more if I got the hell out.
Then, suddenly, he pulled out a bottle of liquor from the side of his seat.
"Have a drink, kid. It'll relax you." I got such a scare from his hostile look, that I didn't want to do anything to build that up. So, I sort of took a light swag from the bottle. It hit my stomach like fire. I never tasted anything so fiery. I started to look at the bottle, but he took it from me, just put it alongside, didn't drink any of it himself.
Then I said, feeling really woozy in the head, "Say, how about dropping me over here. It's okay from here, just a short walk."
He just smiled at me. You said 'four miles up the road.' We haven't gone four miles yet."
And then he studied me, watching me close, as if he knew that I was getting woozy.
And everything dimmed in front of me, like you know those movies when things go out of focus.
I must have then passed out.
Because I don't remember a thing until I woke up in this barn, a deserted barn that I never remember seeing in our neighborhood. It had old hay on the floors and broken farm machinery in it.
And then I felt my hands were very cramped. And looking at them, I saw they were tied with rope.
My legs were tied with rope, around my ankles. And around my knees.
And my clothes were all off, only my panties and stockings and shoes.
My breasts were bare.
And this man was sitting on a broken chair, with a bottle of booze in his hand. It was definitely not the bottle that I had drunk from, doctor.
Because that bottle had to have something in it to knock you out. I had gone out like a light, dead in the head until I woke up.
And there I was locked in with this guy who could be anything. A madman, a killer, a rapist.
The moment that I dug the situation, my heart began to beat like a hammer. I was scared out of my wits.
But he was there, cool as a cucumber, as if he did this sort of thing everyday. Kidnapped a girl and tied her up.
"Don't scream, kid, or I'll put a gag in your mouth. Besides, you can't be heard. Nobdy around for miles."
I was so scared, that I couldn't say a thing for a few minutes, while my head sort of cleared. Then I felt a crazy anger.
"Are you some kind of a madman? Don't you know you can go to jail for life for doing something like this?"
His blue eyes sort of stared at me, the pu pils getting small aspits, and I couldn't tell what he was going to do.
He just kept staring at me. "Don't you know that around here, we lynch guys who do things like this to girls. They'll tear you to pieces."
Though I was scared, I was angry too. The goddam nerve of this bastard! He didn't say anything, just kept staring at me. Like he wanted me to go on, and say anything in my mind.
"You took my clothes off, mister. And it's goin to be a sad day in hell for you unless you give 'em back to me and do it right away!"
He still didn't say a thing.
I decided to make a pitch to his reason, if he had any.
"Look. Gimme my clothes and just hit the trail. I won't say a word to anyone. And you'll be safe. But if you don't, you'll get fried. I warn you. My old man will have a posse out looking for me."
He came up close to me. Stuck his face near me.
"And what'll they do to me, missy."
"They'll run you in jail and let you rot for forty years. If they don't skin you alive first. Now, be a good fella. Get these ropes off me. And just skip town. I swear that I won't say a word."
"Skin me a-alive!" He hissed between his teeth. I was shocked at rage in his face.
Then he whacked me with his open palm across my face!
Like that!
That shocked the good sense out of me.
"You filthy animal," I raged at him. "They'll fry your balls when they catch up with you. They'll tear you to pieces. You just wait."
He whacked me again, a harder jolt than the other.
It brought tears to my eyes, it was such a savage shot.
"You goddamn little cunt. I'll teach you to talk with respect. Tear me to pieces! You'll be lucky if I don't tear you to pieces. You don't seem to understand. We're out here, a million miles from anywhere, including your home town. And you are at my mercy. AT MY MERCY! Do you understand! And he lifted his hand and whacked my face again.
It started my nose to bleed.
Then I figured that he was a madman, and that it was true that I was at his mercy. And that anything could happen with a mad thing like him. He could destroy me and bury me, and nobody would ever find me. I mean, it was a horrible situation to be in. He was no rational man, and I had been acting as if he were.
He was crazy. Or he wouldn't have done what he did.
There could be only one out of here. And that was to submit. And that, maybe then he might not kill me. Yet the thing was so desperate, that I might submit and then he would still do something desperate. It was a frightening scene for me, doctor, as you can well imagine.
He seemed to sense a change in my attitude, for then he walked over to me, close. And he took hold of one of my nipples, and pressed on them, hard. It was painful. It hurt.
I tried to move away.
"Just hold it there," he said sternly, as if testing whether I was frightened enough to obey him.
I held still.
He then squeezed by breasts, hard. First one then the other. He stood close to me. Then I noticed his hand go down to his zipper and he unzipped and brought out his cock.
Just two inches from my face!
It was a huge, monstrous thing, heavy, thick, muscled, with the veins in it pulsing, the head purple and throbbing.
I had never seen anything like it!
This man had been getting his licks by the way I was talking to him, I think, or by hitting me, or both. Because he was into a terrible sexual excitement.
And, in spite of all my fear of him and hate, I couldn't help but be fascinated by the sight of his monster!
"Now, be a good girl. Open your mouth and take my cock in it. And I'm a-warning you. Don't do anything rough to it, because I'll chop your head right off!"
He didn't have a weapon in his hand, but I really believed he would do it. I had the fear of death in me, so I opened my mouth to take that monster cock in. And it was a shock, that hunk of meat in my mouth! It was hot as fire. And he pushed it, so that he went in deep.
"Now, start sucking it, missy. Suck it good. Lemme feel your tongue working on it real good, if you don't you'll get this!"
And he held his hand out, to strike me again.
I started to suck him.
And as I sucked him, he jabbed his cock into my mouth. Deeper and deeper. Then he would sort of pull it out, let me lick the under part of the head. Then jam it back in.
He did it with a regular motion.
So that I got the rhythm of it, and got to expect it. And, the funny thing, doctor, and this is what is driving me up the wall. I began to find myself expecting the slide in of his cock with pleasure! With pleasure!
This rotten animal who came out of nowhere and kidnapped me, a low, no-account brute animal had me sucking his cock. And I found myself enjoying it!
That is my sickness!
I could tell that I was enjoying it, because I was wet in my cunt!
INTERVIEW TWO
And he knew that I was enjoying it, too. Not at first, mind you. Because I had all these groaning sounds, and sad expressions on my face when I started out. He figured that I was hating it.
And he was so screwed up in his head, that he thought that was the fun for him.
He enjoyed it when I was hating it.
But, as he kept shoving his cock in, I kept finding it greater and greater fun. My juices were flowing in my cunt. All sorts of strange, exciting feelings were going through me. I began to feel as if I wanted to caress his cock, to make mad love to it. To fondle it.
I loved having his cock in my throat. It so turned me on that I almost sucked the juices right out of it.
And then, when he realized that I was not doing it out of fear, but fun, he got furious, and pulled it out.
His weird eyes were all clouded with his fury.
Here, lick my balls now. Give them a real clean up job. And treat them respectfully. Gently, you little whore, or I'll teach you a thing or two."
And so, I went down to his balls. I had never done anything like that in my life. But I had been so turned on with his cock in my mouth, that I let some of that excitement touch this action.
At the beginning, though, I sort of felt horrible about touching his hairy balls with my mouth. But the more that I made contact with them, the more interesting it became to me. And again, I found myself enjoying it. I liked the plumpness of the balls, the feel of them in my mouth. I couldn't stop the feeling of pleasure that came from somewhere.
He had his eyes right on me, studying me, getting some charges from what I did! He seem to love to have my face on his genitals. It gave him a strange charge, I could see that easily, if I looked up at him.
He put me on the floor, took the cords off my legs and ankles, and told me to keep my feet apart, keep my thighs apart.
"I'm gonna eat your cunt, you little bitch. Eat it right off you. Just you keep your legs apart and give me no trouble. Cause if you do, I'm agonna slap the shit out of you. You get the message?"
What could I do, doctor? He had me in his power. He could have done anything, and I would have had to submit, just to stay out of harm's way. Isn't that right, doctor?
Then he went down on my body. First he grabbed my tits in his mouth and he really mouthed them. He licked them roughly, for everything he did was rough. He was no gentle lover, this creep from nowhere. His teeth would clamp down, sometimes on the nipples, and it would hurt. Not like he was trying to tear them off, just that he was getting some rage out of himself doing it.
He used his fangs more than his tongue, it seemed to me. He was like some Dracula who had to bury his fangs in you to enjoy himself.
His teeth came down over my belly, down to my maidenhair, where he bit at the hairs, pulling them, to give me pains. And then he bit at my pussylips, too. Biting, little bites, not horrible ones, but real sharp nips. And when I'd cry out, it gave him a charge. I could see the little curl round his lips, whenever I'd cry out.
He liked all my expressions of pain. He was not into giving me joys, just grief.
And he then got my pussy going. He got his tongue and teeth on my clit and began the same little bites and licks, mixing them up, but in such a strange way, that I again felt a terrific charge of pleasure.
He was turning me on, doing what he was doing. I couldn't stop the flow of pleasure that started in the nerves of my cunt. He was doing me some great favor eating me that way. It was a real excitement, doctor, something far greater than anything that I ever had before.
I began to have different feelings about him, then. I mean, I hated him, as I might a mean, low-down coyote, but I also felt a terrible desire for him. If my hands had not been tied, I might even have grabbed his cock and shoved it my mouth and started sucking wildly on it, while he was eating my cunt.
Doesn't that show you how far gone I was by this time.
I was into hating and loving him at the same time.
Then, like he again picked up my pleasure at it, it turned him off.
He hated for me to enjoy!
"Goddam whorish cunt," he swore at me. "You like it, don't you. Well, how do you like this." And with his mouth full of cuntjuice, he put it up against my mouth, and wiped it against my mouth, kissing me with my own cuntjuice.
I hated having his unshaven face up against me, and that he could tell quickly. So he kept kissing me, wanting me to squirm, to suffer.
Then he turned me over, put me on his lap, so that my ass was up at him.
And he said, "I'm going to punish you for saying those terrible things to me before."
And he gave me a whack on my naked ass! With his open hand.
It was just like my stepfather, except, naturally, I had my jeans on when he did it.
He hit me a couple of times, right smack on my butt. And the funny thing is that I got confused in my had and thought of my stepfather doing it.
I could even visualize him doing it in my head, so that it wasn't this stranger, but my stepfather.
And it again gave me a real charge, feeling the pain, the hurt. I was getting all confused in the head, changing the feel of his punishments. Changing that into pleasure.
He really burned my butt for me, with a few other whacks.
"That's to teach you respect for your elders."
And, boy, did he like to do that. He got pleasure from laying of hands on my butt.
And I felt so confused by the pain, that I thought it was all an excitement, instead. How did that happen, I just can't tell.
Everything that he did, started with pain and turned to pleasure, doctor. That was the crazy, part of it. How such a weird and strange thing could happen to me.
But part of me kept waiting for him to really violate me. I couldn't help thinking about that. That he would, eventually, want to stick his cock into my cunt. And that it might start with pain, but it would turn to joy. I anticipated that.
It was kind of ecstasy, just expecting it.
But then, what if he knew that his cock would give me great pleasure? Knowing him, I felt sure, he would deprive me of it. I then felt a pang of pain, thinking that he might not put his cock in my cunt!
Doctor, I want to ask you how my mental state had got in that condition?
All the time that I thought of him as a rotten, degraded animal, and that what I wanted most of all, was for a gang of men from my neighborhood to tear him apart. I mean, I thought of him as the worst sort of creep, who would kidnap a young girl and work his evil desires on her.
That seemed to be the lowest of low!
But now, I was feeling that if he didn't put his monster meat in my cunt, that it would be a matter of grief!
How crazy can you be, doctor?
But it looked as if Mr. Creep was just about ready to stick his cock in me, from my position.
He wanted me on my back, my thighs outspread.
He walked around me, massaging his cock as he did that. And the way he stroked his cock made me envious. I felt that I wanted to do that.
I hadn't the vaguest idea what he was going to do.
Then he stopped stroking his cock, and kept studying me. He seemed to know that I wanted to get fucked, and that was the last thing he would do for me.
I wondered desperately what he would do next.
I didn't have to wait long, doctor.
For he started to piss on me!
That's right, doctor. To my everlasting humiliation, he started to piss on my breasts. The stream of yellow poured out, over my breasts, and my upper torso. He waved it around like it was a hose, pissing his stream that never seemed to run dry.
It hit me with its warmth, and ran down. I could smell its urine odor, too. But although I thought I would loathe him for it, instead, it felt exciting, strange, exotic.
Again, I found it a turn-on. I began to think that I must have the most depraved expectations. Everything that he did to me, I ultimately, found lots of fun, exciting, fun and pleasurable.
I thought I must be crazy in the head to turn these strange, humiliating things into pleasure. But that is the truth. It is what happened.
"You goddam cunt! I'll teach you to threaten me. To call me an animal. I behave like an animal. You're just a piss pot. See. I piss on you, piss pot!"
And he just kept on pissing. I couldn't imagine that he had so much water in him.
But I was not displeased. I was glad that his pump didn't run dry. Because the warm wetness of it pleased me so much!
I was finding that to be his victim was one great shot of joy!
I almost waited with hardly concealed excitement for his next piece of dirtiness. What would he do to me, some really dirty thing, that would make my body quiver with the thrill of it!
It was all madness. I couldn't understand myself. Or him. Or anything anymore.
Before I met an animal like him, I would have put him in a cage for beasts.
Now, I waited like a kid for a new toy, for his next game! What would it be?
I yearned for him to fuck me. But he rarely did what you expected of him.
Now, his cock had gotten soft, because I suppose, doctor, that you can't piss out of a hard cock.
So, what he did was bring it up to my face again.
"Okay, you little cunt. Now do you thing. Bring it up!"
I took it in my mouth almost with pleasure, anxious to get it up to the monster size, so that he might do something new and exciting to me.
I sucked on it, soft as it was, and felt the thing going hard in my mouth. What a fabulous excitement that was, feeling a cock get hard in your mouth! I soon found it too big to hold all of it," but kept sucking hard at it, hoping to excite him, so that he would feel compelled to fuck me.
I even began to use mental telepathy on him, thinking hard that he fuck me, fuck me, stick his cock in me.
I went over it in my mind.
"Fuck me, you rotten animal, fuck me," I said in my head, over and over.
And, I think it paid off.
Because, he took it out of my mouth.
Stared at it with pride, I do believe.
Then, he said, "I'm going to fuck your cunt right off you, you slut!"
And he took his thick, monster tool, spread my cunt and started to push it in. Once he got it in, he realized it was wet. And he gave a great shove, so that his cock went in all the way, pushing my flesh apart, up and up all the way in!
I almost screamed with the sudden shock of his huge cock bursting inside my tight cunt.
I was not prepared for that! But my cunt began to prepare for it, I tell you, doctor. Because the terrible excitement made me flood inside.
I felt violated, but at the same time, I felt turned on. He had ripped me apart, and I found it thrilling.
I wanted to tell him to fuck me, to fuck me, to tear me apart with his cock.
But that's really what he wanted to do. To rip my cunt apart with his cock. And because I was a tight tight cunt, he thought it was happening.
He grabbed my ass, my silky butt, and would come out almost to the tip of my cunt, then go wham-bam into me! Like he was shoveling the end of a pole into me.
My feelngs were a crazy mix of pain and pleasure. I didn't know which way to turn, but all I could feel was a desire for him to ram me with his cock.
To stuff me so full of his cock that I would die from the pleasure of it.
It would be the most beautiful way to go.
I was creaming inside, from his violation. I could tell that he was breathing hard, and that it was turning him on, his ripping my cunt apart with his thing.
He thought it was giving me pain. Well, it was pain, but the kind of pain that's like a shot of joy, if you understand me doc.
But I got fear that he might pull it away, just as he stopped everything once he suspected that I was enjoying it.
So, I moaned and groaned, like he was tearing me apart.
"Oh, you're hurting me, horribly," I cried, with tears in my eyes.
They were tears of happiness, but he thought I was suffering, and it made him hit me even harder.
I felt that huge meat monster banging into me, again and again, yards of cock, filling me up.
It was so delightful that I stopped groaning, and started to gyrate my butt up, to meet his thrust.
He didn't realize that I was doing that, he was so into grinding his tool in.
Then he got the idea, maybe from looking at the bliss on my face, that the more he drove, the more I loved it. He was feeding me pleasure instead of beating the shit out of me, as he thought.
"Why you lousy cunt, you're getting a kick out of this, ain't you?"
He was astounded. He thought, for sure, that his big dick was destroying me, but it wasn't!
He pulled it out, frustrated as hell. His big thick cock stood up, all red, with my juices on it, swollen like a horse cock, it was so huge.
He seemed besides himself with rage, like he'd been had. Like I had made a fool of him.
He hadn't raped me, he decided, but he had been raped himself!
He felt I had tricked him, somehow. The poor slob. And it was probably true, for I had given him the evil eye, I had used telepathy on him, I had practically raped him.
But he didn't know where to turn, where to hit me next.
Or did he. He glared at me. He did have a hard cock to discharge. He wasn't going to fire into the air.
He had to find a hole in me, somewhere. He'd been everywhere but one.
And, that was his inspiration.
"I'm going to fuck your ass off you, you little slut. You ain't going to get any kick out of that. No ma'am, no fun outa that. Cause I'm goonna rip your asshole to get this great big thing of mine into your tight little delicate ass.
"You're gonna know what if feels like to have a red hot poker up your pretty little ass, miss. It's gonna teach you how to have respect for your elders. It's gonna teach you some of the fine points of misery, too. Cause this cock of mine is gonna ram your ass till you'll want to hang it on a Christmas tree!"
And he flipped me over on my stomach, spread my legs, and I prepared to get myself speared in two with his giant cock.
I was frightened out of my wits. I felt that surely it would do me terrible harm to get that great monster hunk of meat stuck in my ass. He would have to rip me apart to get it in. There just was too much of it, and too little of me.
I have a delicate little missy's ass. Tight, tiny.
I once tried to stick my finger up in my ass, in the bathtub, just to see what was what there. You know, the curiosity of a kid And I couldn't get it past a quarter of an inch, that's the kind of delicate ass I had. I pleaded with him.
"Please, please, don't fuck me in the ass."
"Oh, yeah!"
That's how stupid he was. Or maybe he just wanted to hear me beg some more.
"Please," I pleaded," don't fuck me in the ass. Fuck me anywhere but there."
I turned and stared at him pleading with my eyes.
He looked like a triumphant brute, looking at me. It was what he wanted. Me begging. Like I was dirt. Like he was the master. Like he had the power to execute me.
For once he really felt the power over me that he craved.
He was such a sick, fucking, mixed up slob. All he had was a big swollen cock and a sick head.
And he had me at his mercy, to do anything.
"Now, you want me to fuck you anywhere but in the ass. Is that it?"
"Yes. Please. Anywhere."
His eyes got crafty. He said, 'I'll consider it," but I knew he was lying.
"While I'm thinking about it, I want you to suck my cock. We can't let my cock get chilled off while I'm thinking about it.
And he shoved his cock, all covered my with juices, into my mouth. Down into my throat.
It was a weird sensation, having his cock with that taste, in my own mouth. Like I had gone down on myself, in a way! But still, it was exciting. I had him back in my mouth. That monster meat. I sucked on it wildly, hoping that I might be able to satisfy him like that, so that he would forget about my delicate ass.
He kept up a line of chatter.
"So, you don't want your virgin ass to get laid, is that it?"
I slipped his cock out of my mouth, to answer him.
"No. Please. It would kill me. I'm just too small for you."
I was flattering him. Playing on his ego. "You have such a large sex organ it would rip me apart. I'd be dead."
"Yeah. But that's what I want. To Mil you with my cock!"
He stared at me. "What a way to go, heh, kid?"
He wasn't serious, but I pretended that he was. I could read him now. He was just a sex monster who got his kicks from violations. But I didn't think of him as being an ax murderer anymore.
He just got his jollies from kicking the girls around. He was some kind of sadistic monster, with a thing for violence. But it was all sex. He was not into real brutal mutilation, and crazy things like that.
The nearest that he would get to that, would be fucking me in the ass. For that would be mutilation of my asshole, for sure.
"I'd rather go this way," I mumbled. "I'll suck you, if you want me to. Suck you all the way. Let you come in my mouth."
"Let me!" He screeched at that. It hit him right in the ego. As if I had some right to let him do anything.
"You goddam little slut. You don't let me do anything. I do anything that I want, do you understand that yet! You're tied up. You're sitting there like a clay pigeon. Dig that? I do the "letting"!
He seemed to go a little out of his mind.
Then he shoved his cock deep into my throat, as if to teach me a lesson, and rammed it in hard, holding my head, so that I couldn't move. I felt the meat bang in there, hard as a police club!
He really had the greatest cock!
Then he pulled out. His eyes glittered, like he was about to go off the deep end.
"Now, you thought, you little bitch, that I would let you off the hook if you sucked my dick. Well, now you will learn. It's your ass that I want, cunt! Your little tight, virgin ass. I'm gonna burn t with this monster club!"
"Please don't, please don't" I wailed in a little girl's voice.
I was convinced that whatever else I had been able to turn into pleasure, from the original pain this was one area it couldn't happen.
It would be too terrifying, too horrible, too destructive.
But he had again, flipped me on my stomach, and got his knees between my thighs. He spread my buttocks.
I could feel his cock at my tail, trying to get the right entrance.
I could feel the grease on the tip of his head that he had smeared on it.
Then I felt it slip in just at the top. I instantly wailed. It felt already like a huge thick pole.
And he had just cracked the very surface.
What would it be once he got past that?
He pushed again, for I could feel it coming. He had me pinned down, nailed down, so that I couldn't thrust my body any way. And my hands were still tied, so that I could beat him away.
I could feel the weight of his body behind me, and the pressure of his dick as it tried more to snake its way into my ass.
He kept up steady pressure, moving in partly, then waiting just for me to draw breath, and pushing again. He wasn't interested in sparing me, just in trying to get the flesh in front of his cock to open up.
I had a virgin ass, and it was closed tight.
Now, the ice-breaker was up there, opening the channel of love.
I could have wept, for the terrible, agonizing pain of it. I felt myself filling up inside from that huge monstrous meat.
And there seemed no end to it. It kept on coming, more and more. I went practically out of my head from the pain of it, as he kept on pushing and pushing.
Finally, he stopped pushing. I could even feel his body, his balls, right smack up against my ass.
I could hardly think it. But had he got that monster baseball bat all the way up in me? Yes, he had done it!
For the labor of getting it in had exhausted him, and he just lay there, maybe tasting the triumph of getting there.
While I lay still as death, feeling that throbbing thing inside me.
I waited for him to move, convinced that I would explode, once he did move.
But I didn't explode.
Nature takes care of her own. She must build women to take men's cocks, somehow. Oh, I grant you, the thing filled me to bursting. But I didn't burst.
And when he began to do his thing, slide in and out of me, I began to feel the pleasure-pain cycle again.
First the pain of it, that huge bursting hunk of meat spreading me, pushing against places that never had anything like it.
And then, somewhere the nerves got the contact, and I began to feel the pleasure of it.
Ass-fucking having pleasure. I never dreamed of it! But it happened. I kept feeling him slide out, all the way out, then ram into me!
Like getting a huge club shoved up my ass in lightning fast time!
In and out. He jammed it. He grunted and shoved it in me!
He was convinced that he was nailing me to the wall. I could tell from his grunting. Like he was saying, 'Take that you cunt'!.
But little did he realize that it was the biggest turn-on that I ever experienced. He was lashing my ass to a blissful death.
But I didn't intend to let him know. If I did, it would end, just like the others.
So I let him go on with it, praying that he would not discover my delight in his crude ass-fucking thing.
I kept mum, just groaned each time that he rammed it. It was a groan of joy, but he didn't know.
"Don't, don't," I kept moaning.
But in my mind, I kept thinking, "Do, do, do. I love it, you horrible creep."
And so on it went. I could feel the thick, silky, slippery monster cock come out, leaving me feeling terribly empty. Then, it would slide in and fill me all the way, going as deep as it could.
He hit up against my butt with his balls. I could feel them dangling against my ass, sometimes, when he rammed so hard, they made his balls jingle.
"Oh, you're terrible, terrible brute," I wailed, pretending to be in misery. Pretending that he was fucking my ass off.
And I could see him grinning back there, so delighted with himself, and the fact that he finally found something to knock me off my high perch. That he had me under his cock, finally. Something that I was not enjoying anymore.
I would get these realistic groans going, thinking that they made him get his rocks off, more than the fucking would. He grooved on my pain.
But instead, I had this giant turn-on. It was all a beautiful scene. I loved every inch of his cock as it went into me. It seemed to be massaging a great mass of nerves in my tail. Something I never knew was there. And I didn't know how much of it was psychological, either, doctor. You tell me that.
Was I enjoying the violation. Did I enjoy receiving pain? What was the cause of it?
Who was the victim, doctor. Him or me? I was enjoying it. And he was working. I was just there, receiving pleasure. He was beating his brains out, trying to discharge his tensions.
And to do that, he was giving me the biggest turn-ons.
I felt my orgasms go on, one after another. It was strange. But the longer he did that, the more I felt the orgasms. They came in waves, one after another.
And I couldn't let him know. I would grit my teeth and screech a little, but he thought it was the terrible pain. That he was some kind of monster, beating me to death with his club.
When he finally shot his load, it hit my ass like a gusher of hot soup! It flooded into my ass, making me warm all over. His cock swelled up, and almost really strangled my ass, just before he fired.
Then, afterward I felt him go slack and limp, and start to soften down.
I pretended to fall into a swoon at the end of it.
The greater my demonstration of pain, the more he got his rocks off. That was clear.
Anyway, after he came, he was through with me.
It no longer had any fun for him. He just wanted to get away. But naturally, he didn't want me to go racing out after him and spreading the alarm. So, he figured that I had passed out. And my hands were tied.
He had plenty of leeway.
Just to make sure, he tied my hands to the old plow nearby.
And, he went out. I could hear his car start up, and drive away.
He was through, doctor. But I had just started!
I finally, using my teeth, got the knots untied. Slipped on my pants and shirt, and got back to the house. I wasn't all that far from home, at that!
The problem, doctor, is the feelings that I have every night, while sleeping.
I go through the whole episode with him.
The whole violation. And I think of him, again and again. How? Hoping that he will come back.
And violate me some more! That's how crazy I have become. I seem to want someone to treat me like he did. Hard, cold, severe. I even dream of someone pissing on me. Like it will be a real pleasure.
What has he done to me, doctor. Will I ever get normal again? CONCLUSION
This poor girl had been subjected to a sadistic experience by a man with a severe problem. His problem is that he gets pleasure from humiliating women. And her problem is that she fit ideally into his sickness. Curiously, she did not experience pain and humiliation, that is, not for long. She found somehow that submissive sex for her pleasure. She could possibly have got that way from a stepfather who punished her, by spanking. That can be sexual, and often is. This was what could have been a horrible and humiliating experience into one of sex pleasure. However, it is not healthy for her to derive fun from freaky violence. She will need a lot of therapy to recondition herself to the normal avenues of pleasure again.
CASE HISTORY SIX
SUBJECT: Trixie N. AGE: Fifteen
INTERVIEW ONE
The girl was extremely pretty, blonde, with a rather sexy figure and an attractive face. She came into the office with an air of authority, but I suspected it was all a sham. She had had a disturbing experience, and had to get it out.
I came out of school and it was Friday. I just felt like a little excitement after a week of hard work. And there was this guy and someone who looked like his brother, in the car at the curb, near the schoolyard. The one at the wheel looked at me and smiled. He was sort of handsome, with great black eyes and smoothly combed black hair.
"Hey kid, come on, we'll give you a lift home."
He said that, and he looked so cute and handsome, that I just couldn't resist him. And I said, "Well, I don't know."
"We'll have you home in two shakes of a bunny's tail," he said, flashing his smile again. He had such an innocent happy face, and such a charming smile, that I couldn't but fall a yard.
"Okay." I went around the other side, and got between them.
And that, doctor, started me on something I never dreamed could happen.
I told them first, where I wanted to go.
But they laughed. "Not all that quick, kid. Let's see the world, first. Ever go round the world," he said and laughed.
His name was Ernie. And his friend was Angelo. And they thought it might be fun to take a joyride before they took me back.
When he said joyride, he meant that, doctor.
They had some grass in the car, and lit up. I smoked it, because all us kids at school use it now and then. We got high, and I felt it was a real nice way to end the school week, joyriding around, and getting high.
Then Ernie said, "Hey, Trixie, I know a nice little cellar place where we can do a bit of dancing. How about that?"
"Okay." I like dancing, and I really liked Ernie. He had so much personality. When he smiled, you felt like you wanted to do anything for him.
He drove around for a while, and then stopped at this strange place, somewhere I never saw before.
We were high, and I didn't really give a damn. I figured we'd have a little dancing, maybe a little flirting, at the most, some necking, then, I'd get back to the house.
They looked like clean-cut guys, nothing oddball about them.
Can you imagine it, when we got into that so-called social hall cellar, there was nothing there, actually, but a cellar! I mean, I expected it to be a place where we could dance and that there would be other young kids, like me, and we'd have a bit of dancing and good rock music.
That place was a cellar, all right, with a single bed in it, a lamp hanging from the ceiling. A dismal, dirty joint, just shut off from anything and anyone.
I was stunned and turned around to make a real complaint.
But Angelo just grabbed my arms, pinned them behind me, while Ernie stuffed a handkerchief in my mouth so chat I couldn't scream.
Then they tied my hands with ropes, behind me.
And my feet, too, so that I couldn't run.
Then Ernie said, "If you're smart, you won't make a fucking sound. Or you might end up in the gutter somewhere. And you won't like what you look like'"
I was scared to death. I couldn't believe it. I thought it had :o be some gag. Why would they do this thing? It was crazy.
"What do you think of this one, Angelo?"
They were studying me
"She's got a nice pair of tits. Bring them out."
And Angelo unbuttoned my shirt and got my tits out. I was frightened to death. What would they do to me. Were they going to rape me? They had to be crazy to do this. After all, I could report them at school.
Then it came to me that I had never seen either before. They were not at our school. They were older boys, about twenty, I think. And strangers. I had never seen them, and probably, after this day, never see them again.
It was a terrible thing for me, doctor. I was frightened to death.
"She's a nice looking cunt. Let's have a look at it, hey, Angelo."
And that dirty guy, Angelo, unzippered my jeans, pulled them down, untied my legs, then got my panties off, too.
And there I was naked from the waist down, with my shirt still on, but open.
"What the hell. Are we going to let her be that naked. And we going to wear clothes, Angelo?"
And that's when they both took off their pants and shorts, and their cocks were out there, in the open, just like me.
I was prepared for the worst, doc. I mean, these were smiling guys, but mean guys. And I knew that for them to tie me up like that, they had to be sort of criminal guys. They could do anything.
My heart beat, I had a terrible headache, and I found the place so depressing, I could have cried. But I guess I was too frightened to cry.
And, then Ernie said, "Look, Trixie, look at Angelo's cock. It's all soft and down, just like a spaghetti. I'm thinking you don't excite him. You may have to do something for him."
"I can't do anything for him." I said. "Please let me go. I haven't done anything to you guys. Why are you doing this?"
Ernie laughed. "Why? She's a dumb blonde, isn't she You figure it out, Trixie. You can't be all that dumb. "
Angelo growled. "All blondes are dumb, Ernie. This one particularly."
Ernie shook his head. "I think you're going to have to kiss his cock to make it come to life, Trixie."
"Me! I never did a thing like that in my life!"
"Really. What do you think of that, Angelo.
She never did a thing like that before. Well, aren't you lucky. Because we're going to teach you how to do it. You're not only going to kiss our cocks. You're going to suck them, too! Think of the fun ahead for you, tonight."
I scowled at them, frightened to death. Would they hurt me if I refused. I didn't know. Should I take the chance? I had to find out!
"I'm not going to do anything like it," I said firmly.
Ernie walked over to me, and with his open hand, he slapped my face, hard!
It was so sudden. it brought the sting of tears to my eyes!
"Don't hit me," I begged "Please!"
"Gut down and suck his cock," Ernie said.
I sat down on the bed, and Angelo brought his cock to my mouth. It hung down, all soft and limp.
He lifted it and put it in my mouth. It was soft and had a tart taste. I didn't like it at all. But I was afraid of Ernie. He looked at me threatening, as if he would clobber me, if I did anything wrong.
"Suck the goddamn thing," Ernie said.
I started to suck it. And it began to get hard and big and bigger and finally it filled my mouth! And suddenly it became exciting to me. I never had a thing like that before in my mouth.
It was thrilling!
"Suck it, suck it. Like a lollipop!"
I did that, and found it the most delicious thing to do! I had no idea that sucking the penis could be such a thrilling thing! I became very involved with doing it. I found Angelo very interesting, suddenly, and looked up at him with pleasure. What a beautiful thing he had. And it had become like that from that little limp spaghetti!
I sucked it hard. But something inside me told me it was all wrong. I felt in terrible conflict.
Because I was enjoying it, when I should be ashamed to be doing it!
"She likes it," Ernie said.
"Yeah. She thinks it's delicious," Angelo said.
"Don't you, Tricia?"
I had to keep my pride. "It's a terrible thing to ask a girl to do."
"She doesn't like it after all. Angelo. She doesn't like to suck your cock. I'm going to have to punish her!"
"Yeah," said Angelo. "Punish her. Piss on her."
I was shocked. "Don't you dare!"
They laughed. "Oh, you don't think we should dare. She's very naughty. She thinks we're bad boys." Ernie took his cock and pointed it at my stomach.
"Shall I piss on her now, Angelo."
"No. Later. Lemme rip off her tits first....
And he grabbed them hard, and started to suck my tits, really roughing them up. It was painful. He hurt me. I yelled.
"You fuck! You're hurting me!"
"Oh, she's nasty. Did you hear her call you a fuck,Angelo. I think we shall really have to piss on her!"
"If you ever do that, I'll get the cops after you, you lousy perverts!"
Ernie slapped me hard when I said that.
He was a vicious bastard, and just looking for the opportunity to hurt me.
I had to be more discreet. Be careful. He could do something bad if I was not careful.
Angelo was into sucking my tits, and in spite of myself, I began to enjoy it. It was terrible. He sucked me like a vacuum. I felt terribly turned on.
I felt wet in my pussy, too.
And then, Angelo put his hand in my pussy, just as if he knew that I would be wet.
He stuck his finger all the way in, hard, hurting me. I yelled again.
"Be quiet, you cunt, or I'll shove my cock through you so that it comes out the other way!"
They both were madmen. I cursed my stupidity taking a ride from these stupid guys. They were terrible.
But Angelo, liking the touch of my pussy, kept shoving his fingers in there, finger-fucking me. I began to like it. I loved the way he got his fingers on my clit and rubbed it. He just knew where the exciting parts of my pussy were.
Meanwhile, Ernie, who hadn't laid a finger on me, was stroking his cock. He just kept rubbing his cock. It was big, and hard, but not as big as Angelo's. Then Angelo put his cock up at me, at my face, and said to suck him off again. .
I did that, almost too quick. Because it had been so enjoyable. I felt, also, that if I did it, got him off, that he would not rape me.
I just didn't want to get raped. I had a terrible fear of it. But I was tied up, and they were able to do anything they wanted. They were both strange guys. I didn't know what they wanted. Especially, Ernie. Who was doing a lot of talking, but never touching me. He didn't want to touch me, I felt.
He just wanted to put me down. To shove dirt at me. To make me do lousy, rotten things.
Like he told me to kiss Angelo's ass! And when I didn't want to, he slapped me again. I had to kiss Angelo's ass.
Then he told me to lick Angelo's ass. And forced me to do that! It was frightening to be in such a situation.
All Ernie wanted was to watch it, and to play with himself. He didn't want any part of me. Just the sadistic talk thing, that's all.
Then he told Angelo to fuck me.
They put me on the bed, and tied each of my feet to either end of the bed, so that I was spread apart.
They were really rotten guys. I hated them. I really wished I could cut their cocks off, I felt so mad at them.
And they knew that I hated them. They could tell, especially Ernie. He expected it. It gave him a turn-on.
"Fuck the cunt," he told Angelo. "Crack her cherry, if she's got it. And if she doesn't fuck her within an inch of her life!"
And that's what happened.
I didn't have a cherry. Because I had done too much masturbating in my time. But I had never been fucked before.
And it was a terrible, terrible pain. That huge cock from a guy that I had no feeling for, except hate and fear. I felt ripped apart almost. It was terrible, terrible, doctor.
Then, he shot into me, a big shot of cream. His come went into me. And just for a moment, just a flash, I got almost a touch of pleasure, but it was gone. It was horrible.
And, all this time, Ernie stood over my face, with his cock. Pulling on it, pulling. As if it was the only thing that could give him pleasure. Playing with himself.
His cock was huge and swollen, and red, and just over my eyes. I could see him getting his rocks, as he jerked his cock. It was like that, over and over. Then suddenly, he let out a yelp. His cock then spurted the cream right onto my face!
That's his idea of sex!
To come in a girl's face!
But he wouldn't touch her with his dick. He was one sick guy, doctor.
Then what do you suppose he wanted me to do.
To lick the juice off his cock! I ask you, can you think of anything more sick than that! He gave me nothing. Just shot his load onto my face.
And wanted me to wipe his cock with my tongue.
He hated me. Why me? I had done nothing to him. He just hated my guts.
Then, to finish it, he pissed on my tits!
That filthy, ugly creep! If I could have ripped his cock out of his body, I would have done that! But there was nothing for me to do.
Nothing.
They then left me there. Went off. Left me there, tied to the bed.
I could have killed them both, if I had a gun. It was a horrible, horrible thing for me, doctor.
I worked at the ropes, finally getting them unloosened.
I put on my clothing and went out. It was a strange neighborhood. I had never been in it before. I am sure they were not of the place. They never would have taken me there, if they had been.
Maybe once years ago.
Now, doctor, I have this problem. I can't approach any guy without fear. I think they are most of them, like these filthy creeps that did so much dirt to me.
I am afraid of them. It's frightening. I feel that maybe I ought to get involved now with girls. Because guys can be such dirty animals. They are killers.
I think they have ruined me for sex with guys, doctor.
CONCLUSION
The girl has been subjected to the grossest sort of sadistic humiliation by young men who are totally devoid of human feelings. They used her to vent their rage and frustration. They were revenging themselves for some vicious thing that could have destroyed their own growing up process. It is the cycle of exploitation, passed on from one generation to the next. Each making someone pay for the sins of another.
It will take the most concentrated kind of therapy to make this girl adjust to a normal relationship with a male. She had been traumatically shocked, and may never be able to make it with a male. One cannot predict the future in cases of this kind.
The damage to the psychic structure can be so severe that it can be a lasting trauma.
However, one should make every effort to recondition this girl to the fact that not all males are vicious, savage animals, determined to humiliate and to hurt a female.
CASE HISTORY SEVEN
SUBJECT: Richard AGE: Fifteen
INTERVIEW ONE
This young man had to be one of the more repellent individuals in my experience. I'm not quite sure what about him made my skin twitch, but it did. There are some people who naturally fill you with loathing, and I had the feeling that this young man had that particular gift. His face was pimpled, which although no fault of his, did much to make it unattractive, although he was not bad-looking. It could be the crapulent personality that seeped out through his skin, for all I could tell. He had such charming habits of scratching his ass, while talking, or picking his nose, and often doing both at the same time or with the same finger.
He would blow his nose in his hand, look around for something to wipe the snot, then wipe it on his britches. In a tone of great kindness, he would refer to me as Dr. Shithead.
Well, doctor, it's like this. My old lady is really one unholy bitch, who guzzles drink all day, and when she is bored, beats the shit out of me. Just to make the time go easy. She would be lying on the bed, her tits out, her hair one ungodly mess, and bawl out to me to go get the strap. Why? Just because I hadn't done the dishes, and they were piled up in the sink. Four days of them. Was that any reason for her to get sore? But she was no reasonable thing. And I'd get the belt, and she'd lay me over her lap, pull down my pants and shorts, and lay the belt over my ass a couple of hard ones.
I couldn't tell if she was getting her rocks off doing that or not, but she liked it a helluva of a lot. Otherwise, she wouldn't have done it over and over. I went around with a sore ass plenty of times, and could scarcely sit at times.
Then, she'd get all weepy about it, and be sorry, and insist on soothing my poor, red, bruised ass. She'd rub vaseline over it, make it sticky and greasy, as if it would help. But it didn't help, just kept me greasy all the time. But I sort of liked her belting me, after a while, cause it put me so close to her big tits. She just didn't care if her tits were in the open around me. My old man had split years ago, and we just had each other. Except for the guys who would come in, different ones, to fuck her. That always made me sore as a boil.
She'd lock me in my room while she did her thing with some creep that she'd find in the bar and bring home. Usually, some stud with an eight inch cock. She always knew who had the big cocks, somehow. Maybe she inspected them before she brought them home.
One night, she was so tanked up, she forgot to put the lock on me, and I heard their slobberings and slaverings, which so aroused me, that I went out on tiptoe to behold the bedroom wrestlings.
It was something to see, Doctor Shithead, I must say! There was my beautiful mother sitting on the side of the bed, over this stud who she kept calling Angel, when her mouth was not full of his cock. But what a cock. I am myself quite gifted with a sizeable cock, of which I have great pride, but this guy had a stupendous pole that did nothing but fill me with envy.
And my dearly beloved mother would put her beautiful mouth over his passion pole and go all the way down on it, so that most of it disappeared in her mouth.
She would pull on it with her mouth so lustily, that the poor slob would groan and moan. I suspect it was with pain, although maybe the creep was getting his rocks off.
This was a sight to fill a child with very strange emotions, doctor. For one thing, I felt the fiercest sort of jealousy, and confess that nothing could have given me more pleasure than to fire a shotgun first into him. Then into her, after I commanded her to give me a similar blowjob.
You sort of hate to see your mother doing such debased things, if you know what I mean, doctor. I mean, doctor, think of your own mother. Okay, okay, you don't have to get your pee hot, doctor, I meant no offense.
Anyway, it was a sight to root me to the spot. I had to see what the hell would happen. And what happened is that my mother not only sucked his huge dick, but did a tongue job on his balls, too. She really had the hots for that cocksmith from Puerto Rico.
So, I stood there, with my eyes popping out of my head, staring at her blowjob, especially when she went back to his cock, and she seemed to get some fire go off in her cunt, for she began to suck him with sound and fury.
And, then he seemed to let out a yelp of pain, of sheer torture, so I thought she had bit his cock off, which to me would be rightful justice for him daring to do the sex thing with MY mother. But instead, it just seemed that he had blown his cork. And the cream poured like (he head from a champagne bottle into her mouth.
It ran over her cheeks and dribbled down her chin.
And she began to lay her tongue to-it, trying to get it all back in her mouth.
My dear, darling mother who had rocked me in her arms as a child, cooed little words of endearment. She was now trying to swallow the come of this fucking stud that she had lifted off the street.
How do you suppose that made me feel, Doctor?
Especially, when she turned to the door and saw me! I guess that I was sobbing or something else. For all I know, I may have been jerking my pod, because it sure excited the hell out of me. I guess, maybe I was into jealousy, because a stranger was abusing my mom, sticking his cock in her mouth.
Why, I wondered, did she do it with that creep off the streets, when I was in the bedroom near her?
There just didn't seem to be any justice in the world to me.
What did she do when she saw me? She let out a terrific screech.
"You little cocksucker! You lousy, rotten, peeping Tom. You little spoiled pervert. I'm gonna get you. Tomorrow! Just you wait. I'm going to redden your ass, so won't be able to sit for a week!"
And she flung the door shut. In a hurry to get back to that stud's cock and see what else she could do with it, no doubt.
Well, that left me in a condition of much horror, doctor. The fear that she would be assaulting my delicate ass with a monstrous belt was just too much.
I determined to run away.
I had had it with my mother.
Fuck her! Oh, doctor, don't think the horrendous thought did not occur to me. I mean, she was always flashing her pussy at me, staggering around the apartment, not caring what a young stud like me would see. Like she sort of dared me to flash a hard. And she would tuck it right in her.
I had to get away.
So, even though it was about 2 A.m., I slipped into my clothes and went out of the joint into the street.
It was cold as a witch's tit, and I didn't much like prowling the dark streets. I had about a dollar in change in my jeans, my total fortune. It wasn't much for making a getaway from a boozing floozy of a mother, was it doctor?
And so I went in for a cuppa coffee at an all-night spot to get warmed up, and thought about it. I wondered whether it would be better to go back and get my belting in the morning or freeze all night long, with no place to sleep, or put my young head.
I had too much pride to go right back. I figured that my mother, that floozy, would really feel sorry not to find me in my sack in the morning. She'd think maybe that I had gone off to take poison or something. It was a nice idea for me to worry her, if she would worry.
She'd probably scratch her ass, and then say, "Good riddance."
She never worried about me one day in her life.
But I just hoped that if I disappeared, she would be sorry. So it made me ready for any adventure.
And that's when I met Ruby, the black hooker.
She was moseying down the street, and thinking me a John, said, "Hey, how about a party, huh?"
I thought about it.
She was a good-looking black girl with regular features, and with a terrific pair of knockers.
But I didn't know then that she was a hooker. Just some pretty black head inviting me to a party. And I didn't have any other plans for the night.
So I said, sure, honey. Nothing I could like better.
That tickled her, and she said, "Hey, fella, let's go over to my joint. Just a couple of blocks away."
We hightailed there, and I was congratulating myself for being one lucky kid. I'd spend the night at a party, and worry my mother sick, when she woke up to find her darling boy had fled the coop.
We got up to her place, and she said, "How about a drink, John?"
I didn't tell her that my name was not John yet. I thought maybe she was blotto, and thought I was John and that was why she had invited me up.
But I could use the drink, because my balls needed a bit of thawing from the cold outside.
She put a good belt of scotch in a glass with ice and gave it to me.
And then I drank some of it and it put a fire in my gullet. I coughed up a storm.
"Take it easy, John, don't gulp it so fast. That's good stuff." She looked at me a bit closer. I then realized that she must have been on some stuff herself, for she didn't up to then, know how young I was.
And she was a bit disappointed.
"You're a bit young for this game," she said. "But never too early to start!" And she hit her thigh and really laughed. She thought it was a gas.
She looked at her watch. "Man, I gotta make time." I looked at her.
Then she said, "Let's see what you got there, white boy." And she went like a bee to my zipper and pulled out my cock.
I was so surprised, that I almost dropped my glass.
"Oh, it's all the way down, ain't it. Well, we'll fix that honey, right soon."
And she stuck my cock, plenty soft and surprised, into her mouth and started to suck on it.
Well, I'm a vigorous young boy whose cock is just like anyone else. I'd always get these terrific hards in the middle of the night, and beat my meat just so I could get back to sleep.
But here was this good-looking black girl taking my white cock in her mouth and giving it a major workout. I mean, it stunned me. Why she was doing it.
Not that it gave me any grief, Doctor Shithead. Not in the least. I just congratulated myself that the girl knew the way to really charm a guy, put him in the pleasure seat. I even thought of my mother doing the blowjob on Angel, and toyed with the idea that it was she who was giving me the mouth works.
"Lick, lick it up, lick it up," I screeched at her. It could be, doctor, that I was reliving the scene up at my house, when my mother did her thing. Maybe I had the curious fantasy, doctor, that it was my Mumsy, who had been sucking my dick."
When the black girl got through, and she did lick the cream off with her pink tongue, she tried to smile, as if the whole scene had been one of colossal amusement.
But I could tell, that under the smile, was a lot of very unpleasant emotions, like she was pissed off at me. She kept iron control however, for some mysterious reason. I expected her to belt me. I expected she would in fact come out with some huge belt, and start to belabor my ass, in the time-honored method of my Mumsy.
But she didn't.
All she did was say, "That'll be $20 bucks, fella."
And I said, "Twenty what, ma'am?" She gave me a cold, hard stare. She didn't seem to be a girl of charm no more.
"Listen, white boy. Don't give me no hard time. But lay $20 dollars in the palm of my hand."
And she put out her palm.
In my innocence, I said, "Well, missy, nothing would give me greater pleasure than to lend you twenty dollars, if I had it. But, unfortunately, you see here a young man driven into the streets by a cruel and ugly mother."
"Don't give me no shit, boy, just put out the twenty."
I reached into my pocket for the 75 cents I had left, after the coffee.
"Here is the total that I own I give it to you gladly. For surely, you must be in terrible need, if you have to borrow from a kid like me."
She gave me a hard stare. Then grabbed me. She had muscles like Jim Steele, you know that great weight lifter. And went through my pockets, coming up with rat-tails and candles and gum-drops and rubber-bands, and a used condom in which I used to come, so that I wouldn't wet my sheets.
"What the fuck is all this?" She couldn't believe her eyes.
"Where's the fucking money," she demanded.
I pointed to her hand with my 75 cents. "There. You got it." I was being very polite to a girl who seemed rather thick of comprehension, doctor. I couldn't imagine what the fuss was about.
I mean, suppose she did go down and suck my cock. That was a real nice gesture from a girl I had just met. But it never occurred to me that she could want money for that. My mother never demanded money from her studs!
I really felt somewhat put out. After all, I had offered her a new cock, not one all beat up and used up, like some of the creeps that walked the streets, such as appeared in my joint with my lovable Mom. But she really didn't see my point of view. She thought she had got ripped off. And by a kid.
"Why you little rip-off artist!" And she belted me one, with her fist right in the eye!
I went down like I'd been poleaxed.
Then she kicked me on my butt with those thick-soled leather shoes.
"I ought to tear your cock off, you little white shit! But I'll take care of you later."
She looked at her watch. "Goddam, all the time I wasted with you. There won't be a John left in the streets now! You cost me a lotta bread. I'm gonna take it outa your hide, white boy!"
And she went to the door and locked it. I mean, she put an iron bar outside the room that I was in, so that I couldn't get out. Then she went out of the apartment, as I could hear from my inner room.
Well, doctor can you imagine my state of mind. No sooner had I wandered out of my own maternal domicile off to the strange streets at night, when I am accosted by a black girl, of easy virtue, it would seem, who seized hold of my sex organ, caught up in a scorching passion, went on to suck it until it went off in a blast of white hot juice. And then, strangely enough, she demands twenty dollars, out of the blue. At first, I thought she wished to borrow it, and had I been a rich boy instead of a pauper, the son of a drunkard mother, I would have gladly donated $20 to her career.
And what happens? This girl, in a pet of rage, swings wildly with her fist to give me a black eye and weals and wounds on my butt from kicks.
Can you think of anything more unjust than that?
But the world is a place, as I have discovered, of much cruelty and injustice, doctor.
Because, after about a couple of hours, in my sleep, I heard the door opening, and the big steel thing outside my door shoved aside.
And in comes the girl and her face is nothing to cheer about.
In fact, it's all twisted with rage. "You fucking white boy. You really did Ruby a bad turn tonight!"
I stared at her. "I don't even know Ruby."
"I'se Ruby, you dumb white boy." She stood there, her hands on her hips, and they were sexy hips, too. "You cut into my night money, boy, do you know that?"
I looked at her very apologetic. "Well, Ruby, I'm terribly sorry if that happened. But I've just been here, sleeping. Now how could I cut into your night money, whatever that is."
The whites of her eyes showed, because she looked up to heaven for pity.
"You gotta to be the dumbest white boy ever to cross my path," she said. "Come out here, I'm going to chastise you. And soon, too."
I came out of the bedroom into the big living room.
She took a look at me, then poured herself a large shot of booze.
"May I join you, Ruby?"
"You little cocksucker. You got plenty of nerve."
She was the cocksucker, I was thinking, and wondered why she called me that. In fact, it would be a nice thing for her to tackle my cock again. Because after looking at her mouth, my cock really began to get agitated. I could see her firm lips around her cock again, and it really set me off!
So I politely made the suggestion. "Perhaps, Ruby, you might like to cocksuck me again." And I cleverly unzippered my pants to bring out the tool, all swelled up with joyous expectation.
I figured that the sight of it would do very stirring things to her, and that she couldn't resist it, would instantly grab it in her mouth and do great appetizing things.
But she stared at me, disbelieving. Then she stared at my cock.
"I don't believe that I heard my ears right," she said. "This boy has to be the prize-dumbbell in the world. He not only ruins my night, wasting my time with him. He gets me to do him a blowjob. Then he stiffs me. Now, he is after getting me to give him another blowjob. And he hasn't a nickel in his jeans. I asks you, is there anyone more dumb than he."
I had no idea who she was talking to, and waited for an answer.
But she apparently had me in mind, for she glared at me. "Well, dumb white boy, tell me you have to be the most stupid of all God's creatures."
The curious fact, doctor, is that when I go to school, my teachers all think me a genius. They are always laying it about that if I would only exert my mind, I could do extraordinary things. But school has to be the most boring of all experiences.
Still, this girl, Ruby, stood there, swilling booze, every so often staring at me, like I'm some double-headed monster from outer space.
"I sure would like a bit of that booze, Miss Ruby," I said politely.
That made her howl with laughter. "Mr. Short Cock, here wants some of my booze. You were born with brass, white boy. In fact, I find you plenty hard to believe. But you just sit around, and keep yourself amused while I takes my nightly beauty bath.
"Just stay relaxed, and don't plan on going nowhere. I got the door bolted and I got your clothes laid away, so you ain't going nowhere."
Then she stared at my eye.
"Hey, I gave you a nice eye, huh, kid. Well, I'm gonna give you a fat lip, and various other blessings a little later."
And then she took the booze with her into the bathroom and ran a bath and soaked in it, singing all sorts of blues songs. She kept singing and drinking, like she didn't have a care in the world.
I went to the refrig, cause I hadn't had a thing to eat for hours. But all I could find there was soul food and calves brains and sauerkraut. I tried some of the pigs knuckles and got some of it down, though if I hadn't been starving, I would have thrown it up.
I moseyed around her place, and found a cupboard with bottles of liquor in it! I took a big belt out of the vodka and almost coughed my brains out.
"What the fuck you doing out there, white boy?"
"Nothing much, Miss Ruby."
But I went on with it, guzzling her vodka, but slow, this time, cause my throat felt on fire. I mean, it was going to be a hard night, and I just couldn't face it without a little fortification, doctor.
"Hey, boy, what's your name?"
"Richie," I said. "Whut? Come in here and tell me, I can't hear you out there.."
So I opened the bathroom door, and there she was sitting in the tub, her skin brown as a berry, with great hanging tits. And under the water, I could see her cunt with its frizzed cunthair. She had a big stack of hips, too, sitting on them.
"What you staring at?"
"Your beautiful body, Miss Ruby." I was being polite, but sarcastic, because it just didn't seem all that beautiful to me."
"Your name, boy?" She was staring at me. "Richie."
"Well, Richie, get my towel, and when I come out of this bath, I want you to towel my body, you hear. Dry me off. Every fucking inch."
"Yes, ma'am."
And then she got up out of the tub, with her great black cunt spread when she lifted one leg then the other, so that I could see the pink flesh on the inside. It sure gave me one weird sensation, seeing her all naked like that. I got a lot of strange feelings, especially, when I had to mop her up with the towel.
I wiped her back, then her front, going over her tits carefully. She studied my face when I did that. Then I went down to her legs, and wiped them.
And then, I stopped. She cuffed me.
"Get on my pussy. Wipe it, too!"
So, I started to wipe her around her pussy. The reason, doctor, that I had hesitated to do that, I thought it her private parts that she might want to do herself. But she had other ideas in mind.
"Now, Richie, you did a good job, and I'm going to let you have a drinkie." And she gave me her bottle of scotch to swill from the neck, no glass or anything."
"Now, boy, I'm going to tell you what you gotta do to keep Ruby amused this night. Because you really robbed her of her hard earned money. Now, you'll agree that I did you one good turn, gave your cock a hard licking. And brought you up to Paradise. But you didn't give me no bread for it. Now, the tables are turned. You're going to do things for me, and get no bread for it. And if you don't do it, you're going get your ass kicked hard. You dig me, Richie, boy."
By this time, doctor, I was able to get the sordid facts together. That Ruby was a harlot who plied her trade in the streets, and that she had mistook me for a paying customer. Under that false idea, she readily took her swollen cock into her mouth, and brought me to the blast-off.
She felt herself cheated when I did not deliver the bread.
And now, she thought of having the right to take it out in trade, on me.
What strange idea lurked in her head, I would shortly find out.
She came into the living room, lay down on the couch, her big tits flopping down, practically the side of her body. They were two monster tits, I tell you.
"Now, white boy, apply your mouth to this here tit and suck it for all your worth. Do a right good job, and you won't get your tail blistered."
I started to go down there, to her tit, when she stopped me cold.
"Get all your clothes off, there, Richie. I wants you stark."
I looked like a paleskin up against her dark body.
And then she says, put your mouth on my tit, boy, now, and suck for your life."
I took her tit in my mouth, and felt that hard nipple, and started to suck it. She had a brown tit and a dark nipple, and it was hard, all right. I sucked and sucked on it, and she just lay back and gave me directions.
Told me when to lay it down, so that I could start on the other tit.
I sucked that. Then I sort of felt a bit devilish, and bit on it, cause it was turning me on.
I felt a cuff on the head. Sock!
"Don't you bite anything, you motherfucker! "Did I tell you to bite me?"
"Now, I wants you to go down on my beautiful body, and wipe my cunt."
I looked around. "Wipe it with what, Ruby?"
"With your tongue, you stupid kid. What the hell did you think?"
Well, doctor, I had never done a thing like that in my short and unhappy life. And I didn't feel like doing it then either. Surely, no black cunt. Well, it's not that I'm a racist or anything, because I am not. But the idea of licking cunt, somehow that really knocked me out.
So, I just sat there, kinda frozen, thinking about it.
And she cuffed me again. "Get into action, boy!"
I could see that I was her victim. She was at least ten times stronger than me, with arms like steel bands. When she cuffed me with her open hand, I'd see stars!
So, I stooped to conquer, as they say in the books. I went down, put my mouth on her pussy. And just hung around there. It had a strong pussy scent, I guess. I wondered if my Mom's pussy smelled like that. And thinking of Mum, somehow, made me horny. I began to think, hey, it might be fun to lick this black pussy, and think it's Mom's!
So, then I started to kiss and lick her pussy. I got my tongue in there, and felt the warm flesh, and the button on top. She told me to hit her button, with my tongue. And to use my tongue like it was a cock.
"Lick my pussy like you are fucking it with your tongue, boy, that's how to do it!"
I didn't know what was happening to me, until I glanced down, and saw my cock up like a stallion's. I musta been enjoying it, after all, I thought. But it had to be because I had the idea that it was my mother's pussy that was getting the licking.
She started to get the impact of my hot scorching tongue, and she grabbed my head and pushed me into her, between her thighs. "You ain't doing bad now, Richie. Just keep on whipping my pussy."
I was getting bored with it, though. And she could tell that I no longer had any enthusiasm about it.
It began to bore me to suck her cunt off.
So, she grabbed me, pulled me over her, and started to whack my ass, just like that. Like my Mom did me when she got pissed off at me.
I let out a couple of yells.
So she hit me more, with her open palm, whacking my ass, leaving red marks, I could feel it.
Next time I tell you to lick my pussy, you put some action in it, she told me.
Then, doctor, just to show what her sentiments were about me, at that moment, she got up, while I was lying down. And sat on my face. Then she passed wind!
Farted on my face!
Was that an indignity! I mean, can you imagine anybody doing something that uncouth! She was a girl raised without breeding, one could plainly see.
Oh, I have heard my Mother fart up a storm in her day, but she did it delicately, not in my company. It has to be a weird world that we live in, doctor.
She got up, and gave me that malicious smile on her face.
"How'd you like that, white boy?"
"I suppose you've been eating too much black-eyed peas, Miss Ruby," I said politely. She had those arms like a blacksmith, and could nail me to the wall if I riled her.
That touched her funnybone, for she let out a great howl of joy.
"Yeah, black-eyed peas for a black fart in the white boy's face!"
Would there be any end to this shit getting thrown in my direction. I began to yearn for my own homestead, even if my mother did belt me, once in a while.
"Come here, boy!" She barked it at me, lying on the couch again.
I came over.
She looked at my cock. It was down, limp as a sad spaghetti. "What good is a thing like this?"
She flicked her finger at my limp dicK.
I got a shot of interest. "If Miss Ruby would apply the magic of her mouth to it, perhaps it would rise to life," I said.
"You little mother-fucker," she swore at me. Although she was pissed off, she knew that she'd have to coax my cock a bit, if she hoped to have the pleasure of it.
So she took it into her mouth and began to give it a vigrous workout.
That made me jump a bit, especially my cock, which jumped for joy. The presence of her warm, moist mouth and scorch-hot tongue did miracles for my Johnny, for he went up like an iron bar.
And the moment that happened, she took it from her mouth.
She spread her thighs.
"Now, stick that thing into my black pussy, boy."
I could see the pink flesh of her black pussy just gleaming with joy juice, and I did what my mistress wanted of me.
I pushed at her cunt, and to my complete astonishment, it slid in like it was greased. And it felt great, surrounded by all that moist hot meat, and all those juices.
"Now, slide that cock in and out of me. And don't you fire off until I tell you, or you'll get the cuffing of your life!"
So, there I was, fucking Miss Ruby, but part of me was scared that my cock might blast off, and she would whip me. So, it was a tough scene for me, doctor.
But I did the best I could under extremely negative conditions, right, doctor. I took hold of her big black buttocks, and kept on thrusting my white cock into her pink passion slit. And it felt just great. I sort of loved having it. It really turned me on. But every time I imagined that I might be getting close to firing my gun, she would rap out a word.
"Watch it, white boy!"
And I would have to slow it down and wait.
Because Miss Ruby wanted to get her rocks off before anything entertaining could happen to me. She was not interested in the behavior of my cock, just her cunt. And it was plenty slow getting warmed up.
I just wondered if I ever would hold out long enough for her to hit high C. I just kept on wearily grinding my cock into her slit, and waiting.
It began to lose the excitement, because it just went on too long. Over and over, I sunk my tool to the dark depths, then eased it up.
I was beginning to despair that she would ever have a come in this life. I figured that she was a hooker, and so used to it, that nothing could ever hit her heaven.
And just when I was ready to give up, and drop out, she grabbed my ass, and yelled, "Keep on humping, white boy, keep on humping!"
So, I tore loose and whacked up against her belly, over and over, until finally I went off. There was no holding it back. It just had to gush out.
And I thought it would be curtains for me. That my ass would get blistered, and that I'd be caged in there for days, like a dog; that the shit would fly.
But, just then, like she had been waiting for the hot white juice, she went off! In a blaze of black glory, she let out a great scream!
Well, that knocked me on my ass, for she grabbed me, kissed me, practically wiped my face with her tongue, she was so grateful for her come.
"Hey, kid, you really did a great job. You got a fine tool there. All it needs is a little encouragement.
And what do you suppose she did to express her appreciation? She cuffed me.
"What the hell, Miss Ruby. I haven't done anything. Why'd you do that?"
"I did it cause I like you, Richie. That's my way of showing that I like you."
"Now, I'm going to show you how much I like you, kid. Because you're a nice white boy who knows how to use his tool, when he has to. Now, come here, over to the bath tub. I'm going to show you a trick."
And, I, the little innocent, really thinking that I had had a great thing with her, shooting my load into her cunt, and her kissing me like crazy, I thought she would go on to show some more appreciation.
So, when she told me to lie down in the tub, I did that.
She smiled at me, told me I was a good kid. And she was going to do something nice for me.
So, what did she do?
She crouched over me and pissed on me!
I lay there stunned, paralyzed, not able to move a muscle, watching her golden stream of piss come pouring down all over my thighs and my cock and balls and my stomach. She kept on pissing like it had no ending.
And it was warm and it flowed over me.
I got so fascinated that I stared at it, at the stream flowing out of her cunt like it was the fountain of joy, or something else.
The funny bit is that after the shock of it, I began to find it exciting. I began to anticipate the flow of the warm juice over me. To even want it to flow, more and more.
I don't know what the hell was happening to me, doctor. She made me into some kind of a strange object, pissing over me, like that.
"Why'd you do that?" I yelped, shocked, even though I secretly found it exciting.
"Why? Cause you're a good kid. You deserve to be pissed on by a black girl," she said.
It really baffled me, hearing that. I suppose, in her complicated way, she might be trying to pay me a compliment. Or was she just getting back at me, just because white guys, in the past, may have insulted her, or something.
Anyway, after she went out, I took a quick bath to get the stuff off me. I soaped myself up, real good. Yet, thinking about it, I really found it exciting.
Imagine it. I never had any experience before I got to her place, and in one night, already, she had sucked my dick, had me suck her cunt and tits, and pissed on me. She had even let me fuck her.
In a manner of speaking, I was getting launched into a life of sex. I just wondered if it was really all that good. I kept thinking of my mother back home, with her stud. What could he be doing to her.
Did they beat each other, too? Did they suck and fuck like this, too.
Did she piss on him, after sex, to show him that she liked him?
I was really into a sex mental condition, I have to say.
I then drifted out of the bathroom, wondering what new piece of fun Miss Ruby had lined up for me. I was dragging my ass by this time, really whipped out, cause I had about two hours sleep, and only some soul food scraps to hold me up. Hold up my weary dick, you might say.
But Ruby seemed fresh as a black daisy. Nothing could wear that hunk of dark meat out, it seemed to me. And the more we dabbled in the pleasures of sex, the weaker I got, and the stronger she got.
The juice that went from me to her, just seemed to jab her with more energy. My juices that went down her throat, in her cunt, had revived her like vitamins, just as it ran me down.
But that didn't slow her down, just cause I was run down.
Still, she didn't cuff me for a couple of minutes, even said for me to have a gulp of booze, but not too much. She didn't want the booze to "kill off" my cock.
"You drink too much, Richie, and your tool will turn to macaroni. And you won't be much good to me. Then I'll have to chastise you."
Shit, I was getting a bit fed up with her chastisement, Doctor. Since I had got into her little den of vice, this black girl had been whacking me whenever the whim hit her. And that was often. I was a study in bruises and whelps and weals.
She thought whipping was good for my character. Or maybe, she thought it was one way to show affection. If she had a dog, she'd kick him and say "Nice dog, Fido."
She sure was one strange little black woman, and I sort of moseyed up to her with a bit of sex desire and a lot of caution. I never knew when she'd throw a right at me. By this time, my eye had swelled a bit, and was turning black, so that I would have a souvenir of this night for quite a spell.
She'd given me a black eye and a sore cock so far, and I kept wondering what she had up her sleeve now.
But she just sat on the couch, with her black tits flopping, looking like burnished black ivory, and studied me.
"You ain't scared of me, is you, Richie?"
I shrugged my shoulders, cool like. "Well, you sort of cuff me around a lot, Miss Ruby."
She laughed, and her mouth opened wide, so that you could just see it as a great cavity for cocksucking. I wondered how many cocks she sucked in one night, and thought it might be a good time to do some research.
"Well, you heard that ole line, Richie. You always hurt the one you love!" And she set up another guffaw that made the dishes rattle.
She was slightly uncouth in her expressions of humor, you can well believe.
Hurt the one you love, she said. It was a bit witty.
I then asked her, out of scientific curiosity. "How many cocks do you suck in one night in your profession, Miss Ruby."
Her eyes went stony, and I thought she was thinking up how many. And then she said in a honey voice, "Come here, Richie, I'm gonna whisper the answer in your ear."
And in the name of science, naturally, I went over to her, to learn about the sociological habits of the prostitute, so that perhaps one day I might write a research article on their customs.
And, when I got within arms reach of her, her hand shot out like a cannon, and I found myself flat on my ass.
She took a great swig of booze from the bottle and wiped her drooling mouth.
"You gotta have respect for women, Richie. Don't you know that the only reason I suck cocks is because I'se a victim of society. I'se been abused and misused by society ever since I was knee-high to the size of your cock in a state of excitement. Black boys raped me when I was toddling around. Cause they had no other forms of amusement. They didn't have TV to forget their troubles, and had to invent some, like playing with nine year old black girls. You see the connection between sex, violence and economics.
"Now, if those black boys had plenty of money, they would be going to the movies and be down at the corner store drinking cokes instead of entertaining themselves sticking their black cocks in a young girl like me.
"You see how black people get ripped off by the society. That's the problem of the white shits. They don't give the black boys jobs, so that it will use up their energy. And with all that energy boiling around in their pants, it's no wonder they start fucking us black girls so early.
"And then, we black girls get used to sucking off cocks. It's an easy thing to learn, especially when you get gangs of them coming at you at a time. You get in the habit of sucking cocks. And then, there's nothing left but to get the payoff for it. It's all economics, like Marx says. You see, white boy. We black girls find ourselves victims of the white power structure. It's all writ down in the books. But you're some little dopey white kid who don't know the score. So I'm teaching you. You won't find it out in your white-ass .schools, cause they don't teach the truth. Here it is, right in this place. You're getting it from the hoss' mouth."
And she took another great gulp of booze.
So that was the life-story of Miss Ruby, who started a life of sex at nine. Well, that's not so remarkable in the world today, I thought.
"Well, I'm sorry that you had a hard time, Miss Ruby. But you gotta remember that I ain't part of the power structure. I'm just a kid with a drunkard mother who grabs studs off the street and fucks them. I mean, you gotta remember, that I ain't the white slave master who screwed all his black slave women. I'm just a poor white kid who once had 75 cents in his pocket before he met you, and hasn't a thin cent now. And I've been wandering around the cold city without a bed to sleep in cause I've run out on the old lady.
"I mean, you gotta think like this, Miss Ruby, that maybe some of us white kids are also victims of society, like you."
"Don't give me no shit. You're white, and therefore, you got open sesame in the society. If you is black, you got blocks in front of you every step you take. You gotta be stupid not to understand that!"
I shrugged my shoulders. "Well, I don't know much, Miss Ruby, but it's a shit society we live in, anyway you look at it. And the one thing to do is get your piece of fun while you can."
"Sure, Richie. And that's what we're doing together, tonight. I'm giving you fun. Lots of fun."
She had pissed on me, made me suck her black cunt, and figured that she was dealing out fun to me. I was black and blue from the whackings she had given me all night, but she still figured she was putting out fun for me.
Well, the pain of some is the pleasure of others, I thought.
Then I felt a strong need to urinate, and I stood up.
"Where you going, boy?"
"Gotta take a piss, Miss Ruby."
"Stand there, boy." She grabbed a towel from a table, putting it under her feet.
"Now, I'm gonna show you there's no hard feelings. Piss on me."
That jolted me. I stared at her, thinking that she'd tear my cock right off me, if I did anything so strange. But she looked like she meant it.
"Yeah, go ahead. You can take your leak all over me. I like it. It's fun. Go ahead. Do it."
I stood there frozen, thinking that if I dared do it, she'd whack the shit out of me.
Then she got stony eyed, and I figured that I was frustrating her.
So I aimed my cock at her and started pissing.
I pissed first on her legs, then her thighs. She just stood there and smiled at me. That made me bolder, and I started to use my pecker like a hose, and swinging it around her, over her belly, up to her tits, down over her cunt, saturating her with the golden stream.
She laughed. And for one wild minute, I wanted to piss right into her mouth, but the fear clutched at my heart, so I kept my aim low. It was a long, lingering piss, and it made me feel right good. Cause I felt like I was getting back at her for all the abuse that she heaped on me.
But in her head, it was a fun thing. She laughed and rubbed it over her body.
"Good stuff, this. It's great for the skin. Nourishes the skin." That's what she said. She musta been out of her mind.
Then, after I finished, she stroked my face for the first time. Didn't hit me at all!
She went to the bathroom with the wet towel, and cleaned herself up.
Then, I went to the bathroom afterward, and washed up. I felt great because I figured if she was too big for me to knock out, at least I had avenged myself with a good piss on her!
Then, when I came out, she was sitting there, with the bottle, drinking right out of the neck of it. Her tits were heavy and the nipples were small, like when I had sucked on them.
CONCLUSION
Here's an example of a young white boy who falls into the clutches of a black prostitute. His innocence makes him an unwitting prey to her hidden violence. Because she has herself been victimized, she inflicts on him all her own anger. He has the problem now of expecting violence, before he can feel sexually aroused. Deep therapy will recondition him.
GENERAL CONCLUSION
These cases reveal something about the world that we live in. That under the seeming civilized surface lurks much violent, aberrant behavior. People are human, and human beings are capable of the most brutal and malevolent sort of behavior to their own kind. Especially, to younger children, easier victims of their brutality. The young, vulnerable girls and boys, can be damaged in terrifying ways, in ways that may cause them, in turn, to do violence on others, when they grow up. There is, in the world of man, a cycle of sexual violence that seems never to run out.
Our job here is to reveal how vivid and dramatic these cases betray the sickness that hides under the most ordinary faces. That the world is not a nice place at all.
And that after the damage to children has been done, it takes long, careful therapy to restore confidence, to restore trust. To make possible normal sexual and human relationships between people.
These cases of man's inhumanity to women, reveal how much educative work must be done in the world of today.
It sometimes seems to me that there is deeper barbarism and primeval viciousness surfacing in this century than has flourished since the time of the Spanish Inquisition, and its brutal methods and examples of man in the name of love, beauty and purity sinking to the lowest level of depravity. The facade is one of such hypocrisy that it is a mystery to decent men everywhere how such things can take hold and flourish among men in a so called civilized society.
Even the most primitive society of man has no such viciousness that we have witnessed in the torture chambers of modern governments.
So it is not hard really to understand that it should finally filter down to the ground level and affect the very lives of the everyday man and woman, in their relationship to one another.
