This report by a veteran sexologist Sean Greene, delves into unusual case histories with such penetrating insight and dramatic action that it could be fiction of the highest impact. But it is hard, clinical, recorded fact!
Lola, a young girl who is pregnant as a result of her first romance, captures the reader's imagination with her forthright and vivid account of her sexual exploits.
Eric, who is all-out for sex and to hell with the world, is an unforgettable character of real proportions you won't soon forget.
Martha has affairs with other men because she loves her impotent husband and can't bear to leave him.
The fascinating Selina is a fact, too. She is compelled to seduce both the male and female students she knows, with equal frenzy. These and other characters are presented in the unique, authentic manner of an investigator who knows his subject at first-hand..
FOREWORD
In today's complicated world-the world of H-bombs, riots, and the ever-present Pill, our nation's teen-agers are becoming increasingly aware of the fact they are searching for a world of their own, if not of their own making.
This search leads youth down many paths, some of them fearsomely dark and foreboding. One such path is the road to proper sex education. It is often clouded by emotional response in educators, as well as parents.
Many educators are attempting to press ahead with this vital subject, to fill the void that has too long existed in our school curricula. But here, too, they are meeting with stout opposition groups who feel that they are attempting to "Lead our children astray." That the educators are, in fact, diligently attempting to prevent these same children from going astray, doesn't seem to have occurred to members of these resistance groups.
Many disastrous things could be averted by sex and hygiene classes; for instance, among the hippie clans, venereal disease is rampant. This segment of our society also contains one of the highest high school dropout ratios; a tragedy compounded.
Recently, small groups of youngsters have volunteered to go out among the hippies and teach them these very vital subjects: sex and hygiene.
One of the chief purposes for writing this book was to graphically illustrate that today's sexual problems are not unique, nor are the people who are afflicted by them. Once this information is clearly understood, it becomes far easier for those who need guidance to seek the aid they so desperately require.
With this in mind, I wish all of you great success in your sensible quest for better knowledge of sex. The traditional taboos, the puritanical attitudes that are not easily overcome, have often crippled the life expectancy of the educator, but they have been even harder on the teenager who must rely on the street-corner for sex information. This enforced ignorance has caused much distress and not a little natural revolt in teen-ager's circles.
In this book, we shall look at some of these rebels, and examine at length the reasons for their revolt.
CHAPTER ONE
LOLA
I first met Lola when she was brought to me by her doting but puritanical mother. The girl was fourteen, pregnant, and a product of the lack of education described in the brief Foreword to this book.
I found the mother attractive, but the daughter was a promise of beauty to come. Her body had developed beyond her years. Her hair was raven, and her skin as smooth as that of a cherub. She refused to talk in the presence of her mother, but after the initial contact, she came to my office alone. Indeed, the tales that she told me were outstanding in their frankness, and attention to detail where teen-age sex was concerned.
"I have never been done things to, except by Eric," she told me. "I know you won't believe it, but it's the truth. I just got carried away. A lot of the girls at school are the same way about it. They get with one guy and they give him all that they've got. Of course, there are others that will do it with anybody anytime!"
I questioned Lola about her sexual activity with the boy named Eric.
In the beginning, she would not discuss the matter. But as our interviews continued, she opened up and spoke freely to me. Her first confession was not about Eric, though, but about herself and her parents.
"Mother acts so darned good!" she said, "but I know that she's done things just like I did. I heard her and Daddy fighting about that when I was about eleven! Daddy accused her of doing things with the next-door neighbor!"
Q. Were your parents drinking?
A. No, they seldom drink anything. They're big deals-they wouldn't think of missing Sunday School, church, the PTA, or anything like that.
I asked the girl to tell me about her previous sex education, and she laughed.
"Sex education!" she snickered sarcastically. "Hmmmph, if I'd had any, I wouldn't be in this shape today. I didn't know anything about the time when I could get pregnant. I know now though! I've read a lot about that sort of thing since it happened!"
Upon this note of aggravated bitterness, I asked her why her attitude was so hostile, and she replied to me that she had asked her mother some things about sex, but that endeavor had gotten her a slap across the cheek!
"Boy, she had a lot of nerve to slap me!" exclaimed Lola, "especially after the things I saw her doing! She acts so prim and prudish when she's talking to a stranger, but I've seen her do things that I wouldn't dare to try!"
Then Lola confided some of the things she had seen her mother do:
"As you know," stated Lola, "my father stepped on a mine in World War II. Evidently it destroyed his sex life. I don't knew. I do know one thing though, and that is that he is terribly jealous of my mother. I guess it's because he can't do the things a man should do. I don't know about all of what is wrong with him, but I do know that mother does things to herself."
Q. What things does she do?
A. She plays with herself, and, I mean, she does it a lot! That's how I first started playing with myself. I watched her one day, when she was doing things to herself. I was about ten at the time. That was before my father accused her of doing things with the neighbor.
Q. Do you actually think she did things with this man next door?
A. I don't know if she did at the time my father accused her of it, but I know she did later, because I saw them doing it! I was about thirteen then.
Rather than question the budding female about her mother's indiscretions, I questioned her about her mother's autoeroticism. She told me about it in detail, and with a lurid candor.
As she told me of the incident, I could see distaste in her face. I could also see the turmoil she was going through, as she fought for the words to describe what was obviously a most passionate and lurid scene.
"My father sells insurance, you know," she said. "He's gone from the house a lot of the time. I don't have any brothers, and I was kind of lonely. I woke up late that day. For some reason, I was really lonely. I was hungry too, and I got out of bed to go to the kitchen. But first, I had to go to the bathroom.
"We don't have a big house. We only have one bathroom, and it's between my room and my folks' room. I went in there, and I used the potty. But then before I finished, I heard sounds coming from my folks' room. I thought Daddy might have not gone to work that day. Sometimes, he's kind of sick. I didn't want to just barge in on them, but I looked through the door to their room."
Q. Looked through the door? You mean through the keyhole?
A. No, the door was slightly ajar! I didn't have any trouble seeing what mother was doing to herself. I was really shocked-Oh, brother, wasn't I shocked!
I could well understand her shock over what her mother was doing. Had it been my mother, I would certainly have been equally as shocked, especially at the tender age of ten, before I knew anything about sexual activity.
Lola told me that her mother was stroking herself with a huge artificial penis!
"I didn't really understand what she was doing," said the girl, "but I could see what she was doing! I don't even know what a man's sexual organ looked like at that stage in my life. I did after that day though!"
Lola described the artificial penis as being fully eight inches in length, and about two inches in diameter. She also told me that her mother was frantic in her efforts to stroke herself.
"Boy!" said the girl, "she was really getting with the action! She was still in her gown, but it was pulled way up over her stomach. She had jigged herself until she was all wet and shiny down there. Her knees were raised up, and she had her legs spread out real wide. Then I saw that she had another thing stuck into her."
"Another thing?
A. Yes, it was the same kind of false male organ as the other, but it wasn't quite as big. She had it in her...
The girl wanted to say "rectum," but she couldn't quite get out the word. I understood what she was trying to tell me however, and I listened as she continued.
"I watched my mother shove that thing into her and then pull it out," she said. "I wouldn't have known anything about my own organ if I hadn't seen that. I didn't even know I had a hole down there until I saw my mother doing those things to herself!
"I went right to my room, and I inspected my own parts."
Then Lola told me about how she had gone about her curious inspection of her own genitals.
"I removed my panties, and I tried to look at my sex organs," she said. "I couldn't see them though. I'm not a contortionist. I got a mirror though, and I put it down there between my legs. I could see then, but I wondered how a person could shove something as large as mother had into her into themselves. I couldn't see any hole in my thing!"
It was obvious that the girl's hymen was still intact. It was also obvious that her mother should have told her some things about sex; its ramifications; its psychological significance, and effects.
She continued to tell me about her experimentation, and then told me about the other things she had seen her mother doing.
"I tried to put a finger into myself," she said, "but it hurt so, I stopped. It felt good, though, when I touched the button!"
Again, it was obvious that her knowledge of sex was still almost nil, for she didn't use the phrase "clitoris" to which she was actually referring.
"I felt that tingle go through me," she said, "and I kept rubbing there. Pretty soon, I felt this real shock go all the way through me. I got a full charge out of that!"
Then, she examined herself more closely by viewing her genitals in the hand mirror that she, again, positioned between her youthful thighs.
"I tried to see why I couldn't get anything into me!" she stated, "I really didn't understand. All I knew was that when I touched the button, I could get a thrill out of it. I wanted to know more, so I went back to the door of my mother's room."
Q. Was your mother still engaging in the practice of masturbation?
A. Yes, she was going on real strong. She had both of the things all the way into her, and by then, she had put a pillow under her rump.
"She was all over that bed!" said Lola. "I mean, she was wiggling and squirming. She was really having a time doing those things to herself!"
Then Lola had heard her mother's cries of ecstasy.
"Ooooh!" the mother had groaned out into the emptiness of the room. "Ooooh!" she had moaned a second time. Lola admitted to getting a feeling of arousal as she watched her hypocritical, "puritanical" mother go through the final act of bringing herself to an autoerotic climax!
"She was using both hands on herself!" declared the luscious Lola. "She had stopped stroking her main genitals (vagina). She was holding the thing into her real hard though. She was using her other hand to stroke the smaller thing in and out of her ... I'm sorry, I just can't say that word!"
"I'll never forget that day as long as I live!" Lola continued, "I'll just never forget the pained look on her face, as she seemed to strain to force those things into her so deeply..."
Evidently, the mother had, as Lola stated, really been having a session, for Lola heard her cry out another time. The woman seemed to be talking to someone, but it was someone that Lola didn't know.
"Do it to me Marvin!" the mother had cried out to the emptiness of the room. "Oh, Marvin, do it to me!" Then the woman had forced the dildos into her with such violence that Lola said she even winced from the force of her mother's cramming.
"Oh, Marvin!" the mother had cried out again, and, then as she came to a violent climax, Lola heard her cries of sheer ecstasy-infinite pleasure. As the daughter had watched, the mother had thrown her legs to the ceiling, and shouted out another time. "Oooooh!" Then Lola watched her mother remove the artificial penis from her vagina and insert it into her mouth!
"I really got curious then!" Lola stated. "I couldn't figure out how she could take that thing into her, when I couldn't even get a finger into myself. I watched her until she quit doing those things to herself. Then, without taking anything out of her, she went to sleep. Before she did, though, she shoved the thing she had in her rear in further. She also took the thing out of her mouth and put it back into her main thing-you know, into her organ. You are bound to know what I mean."
I know what she meant all right, but I was having difficulty picturing the sedate woman that had brought her daughter to me in that sort of an act. But then the workings of the mind are fantastic most of the time. Pray God that sometime we may find some answer.
"She must have really worn herself out!" said Lola, "because she didn't even quiver after she was finished doing those things to herself. She passed out. I'm sure she was in a coma."
But, unable to resist the temptation of her curiosity, Lola had shuffled into her mother's room. As she told me about the incident, I was overwhelmed by the courage of this child. Her curiosity was such that she had to see what her mother's genitals were like, as opposed to her own.
"Naturally I had seen mother's parts before," stated the girl, "but I had never seen them in such operations before. The only time I had seen her was when she was dressing or something like that. I certainly hadn't seen her with her legs open, and something like she had between her legs stuck into her."
Lola sneaked into her mother's room, and her describing the way her mother looked, and reacted was as lurid a confession as I had ever heard.
"My God!" said the pregnant girl, "I got the whole picture! I mean I really got it. I could see her parting lips-the lips of her genitals. And beyond that, I could see the way that she had that thing crammed into her. Oh, you know!
"She was all gooey, all shiny down there around her thing. I knew that she had hair, but I didn't know about it going all the way down between her legs. You should have seen those things she had crammed into her too. That was really a picture for me to see!"
Lola seemed intent on telling me about the artificial organs, and not wishing to disturb her further, I allowed her to continue without interruption.
"Both of them were hollow," she said, "but the big one-the one she had into her regular thing-had a squeeze bag on it. I didn't know what it was for, at the time, but now I do. It was made to be filled with stuff-you know, hot water or milk-something like that, and when you reach a climax, you squeeze it. Then the stuff shoots up into you! Oh, I'm so embarrassed. I just don't know about all of this-I don't know about Eric-I just don't know about anything anymore!"
It was fairly evident that the girl had suffered a severe traumatic experience when she had seen her mother performing that act of autoeroticism, but she stated that she was more curious than shocked!
"I was so curious, after seeing her thing all wet and gooey that I went back to my room," she said. "I still couldn't understand how she could get so much into her, and I couldn't even use a finger on myself! I tried again, but it hurt so bad that I had to stop."
Lola was determined to penetrate her organ however, and after about another week-a week of trial and error-she had managed to stretch her vaginal canal enough to accommodate one of her small fingers.
"I kept fooling around with my organ, and sneaking around to masturbate. I didn't try to put anything into me but a finger, though-that is, for about a month. But the more I saw my mother using that false thing, the more I was tempted to try something like that on my own parts!"
Q. You mean you attempted to insert the dildo of your mother into your own immature organ?
A. "Heavens no!" she exclaimed. "I knew I couldn't handle anything like that, but I did want to try something besides my finger! I was sure I could handle something larger than that, and the feelings I got from my finger forced me to try. It really felt good to put a finger into myself. I bled a little the first time, but I had to try something else!"
Shortly after Lola had determined to make a larger penetration, she got her opportunity. The act took place on a Sunday morning. When her parents told her it was time to dress for church, she feigned illness, and they allowed her to remain home.
"I knew they would be gone until a little after twelve. That gave me about three hours to try, because they left a little after nine. I had watched my mother do things to herself enough so that I knew exactly what I should do.
"Once they were out of the house, I began trying."
Q. What did you use. A. I tried a couple of things. The first thing I used was a pencil. It went in easy, so I tried the handle of my toothbrush. Both of them worked all right, so I decided to try something larger. Q. What was that? Lola told me that it had been the families' plan to go on a picnic that afternoon; that her mother had shopped the previous day, and among the woman's purchases was a package of wieners.
"I had gotten all hot and bothered!" said Lola. "I went to the refrigerator and got out one of the wieners. It was cold as the dickens and I didn't want anything that cold going into me. I took it into the bathroom, and ran hot water over it until it was warmed up some. It got a little soft when it got warm, but it was still stiff enough.
I had gotten a little gooey down there, but I was afraid I wasn't gooey enough. I remembered where my mother had put the stuff she greased her thing with, so I got some of that jelly and rubbed it onto, and into the opening of my organ. I put some on the wiener too.
Then I went to my room. I spread a towel over the place I was going to lie on the bed. I didn't want to get the sheets all gummy. Mother's really suspicious-I guess that's because she is always thinking sex. I don't care what she's told you-I mean it! She's about as frustrated when it comes to sex as anyone could be. I knew if she saw greasy sheets that she would put two and two together. I knew she would know about what I'd done. After I got everything ready, I did just like I had seen her do!"
Lola told me that she had stripped completely and got onto her back on the bed-the towel underneath her experimenting form.
"I raised my knees like I had seen mother do!" she said. "Then I opened my legs like she did. I just rubbed the thing around on me for a little bit, but then I placed the end of it into the opening. It went in easy for just a little, but then it got to hurting me! I was determined to do it though. I just kept pulling it out, and then shoving it back in.
"Every time I did that, I got a little more of it into me. Then all at once, it felt like everything inside of me broke. That thing went all the way in, and the thrill I got was a lot better than the pain.
"I felt myself getting juicy, and I raised onto my elbows. I was shocked then, though, because I could see that I was bleeding quite a bit. I was really enjoying doing it to me, so I just laid my head back down and kept up stroking that thing in and out. I really got a climax from that too! It's a good thing I used the towel. It was a mess. Once I finished off doing it to myself with the wiener, I wadded up the towel, dressed; that is, after cleaning myself up. I took it to a place behind the house and hid it."
When Lola returned to the house, however, she found that she was still bleeding somewhat.
"I didn't know what to do!" she said. "I knew I had to do something, though, because the crotch of my panties was becoming all gummy with the stuff!
"I went to the bathroom, and washed myself again. That seemed to stop the bleeding. Then I rinsed my panties with cold water. Cold water won't set a stain, you know. Then I took them into my room and hung them in the back of my closet. I knew they would dry there, and I hoped my mother would not find them."
Q. Did she find them or find you out? A. No; I came off lucky that time. I didn't do so good with Eric, though, did I?
That certain look of despair crossed Lola's face again-the concentrated bitterness, the cynicism-and she began telling me about other things, things she had experienced with some of her cronies; but more particularly about herself and Eric.
CHAPTER TWO
LOLA, LOVE, ERIC AND EROTICISM
Before Lola commenced to relate her experiences with Eric, she seemed intent on telling me about the reasons that she had allowed him to copulate with her. She particularly seemed to want to tell me about the time she had seen her mother in a sex act with the next-door neighbor.
In the week that had passed between our first interview, I had taken the opportunity to delve into her father's condition. I found that the man was indeed impotent. He was thoroughly incapable of the sex act-that is, in the normal way. I was tempted to question the mother about her relations with her husband, for I felt that the family environment had greatly influenced Lola into her act of sex with Eric. I did not, however, for I thought I might talk more with Lola. It appeared that she had spoken the truth to me. I felt that it might be better to get her full side of the picture before I delved into her home life to a further degree.
And Lola was not reticent, hesitant, nor did she procrastinate in her efforts to cooperate with me in her bouts of psychotherapy!
"Poor Daddy," she said. "That must be awful to want to do things the right way, and not be able to do it. He's got it up there in his head, but his body just won't work. I guess that's why he's so nervous all the time."
I noticed a certain amount of sympathy in the girl's voice, as she spoke of her father's impotent condition, and I had to agree with her. I was also very pleased, for she had not the same touch of bitterness that I had previously seen bud in her. It appeared that even in her trying situation she was able to elicit sympathy, empathy, and feeling for others. I felt that her treatment might come to a successful conclusion, but as it is in so many of these cases, one never knows. We went through another penetrating interview, and she told me about the first time she had seen her father and her mother trying to culminate a sexual act.
"I knew Daddy had been hurt in the war," she said, "but I didn't know what the trouble was. I was wondering about why Mother was always doing things to herself. Then one day, I found out about the situation. I feel so sorry for Daddy!"
I saw a tear bloom in her eye, but I pretended not to notice, and she continued to tell me about the thing that she saw take place between her mother and father.
"It was late at night," she told me. "I guess they thought I was asleep, but I wasn't. I was doing things to myself. I think it was about eleven o'clock. I was really warmed up. I was a little over eleven, and I had begun sporadic periods. I always get hot during that time. I really get to wanting to have a certain feeling in my organ during those times. I never have understood why it comes on me at that time, but it sure does. I'm even craving sex now. I don't see what I could lose at this point!"
There it was again-her cynicism-her bitterness-her seeming lack of hope. I listened as she continued.
"I could hear them talking in their room. I could also tell that they weren't having what is known as a regular conversation! Their voices were strained-rather loud. That was something out of the ordinary around our house, and I was curious about it. I sneaked to the door. I looked in and I was really shocked at what I saw. Poor Daddy, he was trying to do things to Mother, but he couldn't get up a stiff. They were arguing about it too. His face was so drawn and his expression one of real sadness. I hated that so much. Finally, I heard him tell my mother to open her legs wider, and then he put his mouth to her!"
Q. Onto her genitals?
A. Yes, and I didn't know anything about things like that. As a matter-of-fact, I didn't know much about anything, that is, except the rumors and talk about sex that I had heard at school. All I knew about was the fact that I felt good when something went into me! You should have seen my mother, though, when Daddy started sucking on her.
The daughter told me that she had heard her mother's sighs of delight of sheer passion when her father had commenced his act of cunnilingus.
"Wait a minute Charles!" she had heard her mother cry out to her father, "Let me get a pillow underneath my bottom. I want to be raised up higher so you can get all of me."
Lola had watched, as her father desisted from his act long enough for her mother to position a pillow beneath her buttocks. Then she had listened to the sucking and slurping of her father, as he had brought his wife incalculable satisfaction.
All the time that her father-the involuntary eunuch-had engaged in the act of cunnilingus with her mother, Lola had been shocked, but more than that, she had been curious! The mother had become rampant when the father had begun his licking of her parts, and from Lola's conversation, I could well imagine the scene.
The woman had opened her legs fully, and Lola could see all of her parts. She could hear his sounds of pleasure, but she really didn't understand what was taking place.
Once he had really begun to rapidly tongue his wife in her parts-she had thrown her legs to the ceiling and groaned out her satisfaction.
"Charles!" sputtered the woman, as she locked her legs tightly about his head. "Oh, Charles, Oooooh! nobody can do that like you!"
From Lola's story, it was obvious to me that the woman had, at that point, made a terrible mistake, for the husband removed his face from her parts.
"What do you mean by that!" questioned the husband, his face, according to Lola, becoming a mask of anger and hatred. "What do you mean!" he repeated. "What do you mean!" Then he leaped out of the bed and donned his trousers. "I know what you mean! I have been wondering about you and what you've been doing. Who else has eaten you! I know someone has, or you wouldn't have said what you did!"
"You should have seen Mother's face!" said Lola to me, "You should have seen the expression on her kisser when she knew that Daddy had found her out!"
Q. What took place then?
A. The first thing he did after he got his pants on was to hit her!
Q. I thought you said that your parents didn't engage in the rougher sort of things?
A. Normally that wouldn't have happened, but he was really mad when she made that mistake of telling him that he could do that sucking better than anyone else. Right then, he knew that someone else had had my mother. I began to wonder myself.
Lola told me that after that day, she started thinking more and more about the things her mother was doing.
"And then one day," she told me, "I heard her talking to someone on the phone. I didn't know who it was at first, but then, I recognized the voice as the voice of our next-door neighbor. I was on our extension, and I heard Mother ask him if anyone was listening. I hung up right off, but I sneaked to her door, and I listened to one side of the conversation. I heard her tell him that my father was going to be out of the house the next day, and that I would be at school. I made up my mind right then to see what was going to happen. I had never seen anyone get it before, and I was both aroused and curious!"
Lola said that she left the house, as usual, telling her mother that she had to hurry because she had an early morning gym class.
"I went on to school," said Lola, "but I only stayed until lunch. I had heard Mother tell that man he could come over a little after lunch. I know she would have invited him over sooner, but my aunt was due for a morning visit, and that's what stopped my mother from doing it sooner."
Q. How did you manage to get your glimpses of the activity? You are telling me the truth aren't you?
The girl placed her youthful hand to her chest, crossed her heart, and assured me: "Honest to God!" she said. I really saw them in the act-the full act! You should have seen the way she got with that guy! His name was Earl.
Then Lola went on to describe the neighbor to me. She told me that he was not unhandsome, but that he had a dirty look about him. She said that he was not as neat looking as was her father. I could tell that one of the reasons she had entered into intercourse with Eric was because of a desire for revenge against her malicious mother for the action that the woman had perpetrated against the father of the family.
"I could have killed that devil!" she said.
Q. You mean the neighbor?
A. No; I mean my mother. She had no right to do those things behind my poor father's back. Beside that, that man was a nasty looking thing. He was dirty looking. He was big and hairy. He was real crude in the way he talked, and in the way he acted.
Lola went on to tell me about the manner in which she had watched her mother engage in relations with the man named Earl-the "nasty next-door neighbor!" Those were her exact words.
"I made it a point to be outside the window, after I had hidden behind a tree until I saw him walk up and knock on our front door. Mother was so hot for that brute that she hadn't taken the time to lower the shades or the window all the way. I could see everything that took place. I could hear them well, too. I hate that man! As a matter-of-fact, I think I hate everyone except my Daddy. Take a look at that Eric. He knocked me up! I'm sorry, I mean, got me pregnant. He won't admit it though. He's just like all the rest of these boys at school. Heck, I know of about four or five other girls that have missed their periods, but the boys all ganged up. They all admit to having had relations with the girl. That way, nobody can prove a thing. I got hooked. I was a fool, and I know it!"
I could see that the girl felt cheated by the father of her illegitimate child. He had denied everything about their relationship, and not only that, but he had gotten some of his friends to admit to having relations with the girl so that he would not have to face the brunt of the circumstances of his act of indiscretion.
She continued with her tale of the act of sex between her mother and the excited next-door neighbor-a man whom I concluded was depraved.
"After I saw that act," she said, "why should I have tried to be a virtuous little girl. I saw my mother do things with that man that I didn't think a person would do at anytime! I'm telling you, that was really a shocker!"
Then the girl laughed. Her little giggle was a mask for the bitterness that was welling, had already grown to maturity beneath her pulsating breast.
"I crouched beneath the window sill," she said. "I was in wonderment about the things that took place. But even in my disgust, I got aroused by the sight of that man's thing!"
Q. What do you mean?
A. I mean that I had never seen a man's testicles before, and his were like lemons in a bag!
The girl laughed again,, and her laugh was as wry, as bitter as before. Her face took on a look of discernment as she tried to tell me about the sexual episode she witnessed.
As she told me, the man-the man named Earl-had kissed her mother fully. He had tongued her firmly into her mouth, and at the same time his hands had roamed over her buttocks. Then she had heard her mother make a request of the man, as her mother's hand felt of the violator's crotch.
"Let's get into the bed," she had heard her mother say, but the man was not yet ready. "Please," Lola's mother had begged, I'm ready for you now. Put your hands up my skirt, and you'll see that I'm ready!"
As she had opened her legs for the entrance of the neighbor's hand, she had also unzipped his trousers, and he became exposed-that is sexually-he became exposed fully.
"I'm telling you!" expounded Lola. "I have never seen a think like that before, or since. He was bigger than the big things Mother used on herself, and he was more hairy than an ape. I just couldn't believe what I was seeing!"
But then she heard the man speak to her mother.
"I don't want to do it right now!" he told the girl's mother, and as the child listened to his deviate proposal, she told me about her condition of shock.
"I was about out of my mind!" said the girl. "I still can't hardly believe that they did the things they did!"
The girl told me that her mother had gone along with the man; had gone along fully.
"What do you want to do?" Lola's mother had asked of the neighbor, as she had milked his penis to a throbbing mass of erected flesh, gristle, and coursing pounding blood.
"I told you the other day," Earl had answered. "I told you what I wanted to do to you!
"I'm afraid to try that!" Lola's mother had said. "I'm really afraid."
But then Lola stated, that the man had ordered her mother onto the bed. He told her that if she didn't submit to his demands, she'd be sorry.
"I watched my mother's face take on a different look!" said Lola. "I saw her change from a person into a robot. They undressed, and she got onto the bed. She got onto her back. That's when he took the thing out of his pocket. He was naked, and he was so anxious that he could hardly wait to drop his pants over the chair!"
I asked her what the thing was, and she told me that it was a large ear of corn.
I was astounded, once again, but I had learned to accept the deviate nature of deviates, and I listened as she related to me the actions that took place between her mother and the perverted man. One wonders who was the most perverted, the mother or the mauler!
"I!" exclaimed Lola, "was so startled that I was gasping for breath. I was really shocked. I thought I was going to faint. There she was, my mother-the woman who had taught me so much good, and there she was opening her legs so that big, old man!"
Lola stated that Earl had forced her mother's legs open wider than she had volunteered to open them, and then he began rubbing the ear of corn between her mother's legs!
"I still can't believe what I saw that day!" she told me, "you should have heard Mother beg him to stop. But then, you should have heard her beg him to go on, I mean, go on-to do it to her as rough as he could!"
There was no doubt about what the girl had told me. I believed her implicitly. She told me that her mother had gotten more passionatemore rabid than she could have ever imaginedas the erotic Earl had rubbed her genitals with the ear of corn!
"Like that, honey?" she had heard the man snarl out his question to her mother, and the mother had replied in a pleading voice.
"Oh, Earl!" the mother had cried out. "You're hurting me! You promised that you wouldn't hurt me if I let you do this to me!"
"Shut up!" the man had said. "I mean, I want you to keep your damned mouth shut! I'll do what I want to you. If you don't let me, I'll raise so much hell that everybody in the neighborhood will know what you're doing with me!"
Then the girl Lola, told me about her mother's reaction to the man as he continued to manipulate her with his vegetable dildo.
"I am still in some kind of a shock over what she did then!" exclaimed Lola. "I'm telling you, I still can't believe it. I can still hear her voice as she begged him to do things to her, and I can also see the look on her face as she felt the roughness of the corn against her sensitive parts. Sometimes I think I hate her; at other times, I think I can sympathize with her! I remember how it was with Eric and me. I would have done anything he told me to do!"
As the girl told me about her tempestuous trial at the window, I could not help but wonder at her shock over what she had seen. For, according to her, her mother had become rampant.
"Oh, Earl!" the mother of the girl had cried, "Oh Earl, why do you want to do things like that to me. Then the girl had seen the man insert the roughness of the cob into her mother's vagina.
"Oooooh! Earl!" the mother had moaned again as Earl had rubbed her roughly with the rough kerneled corn! "Oh Earl!" The girl had gotten a tingling feeling in her genital area when she heard her mother cry out her feelings of delight.
"I must be sexually over-sexed," the girl said. "I shouldn't have forgot about my morals on account of what mother and that next-door neighbor were doing. I really shouldn't have done that. Somehow, though, I couldn't help myself. When I saw him start to put that thing in my mother's thing. I just couldn't help but get a grating feeling in my own thing! I know you people-you people that claim to know what is going on in other persons' minds. You think that you are gods! But that's the way I felt. I'm sorry about it though!"
Then Lola told me about her feelings; more specifically the feeling in her genitals as she had watched Earl stroke her mother with the giant ear of corn.
"I watched him as he did that stuff to Mother!" Lola said. "I watched him shove the thing into her, and what makes it worse is the way that she took the thing into her!"
Q. How did she do that?
A. How do you think she did it? Are you some kind of a stupe? You must be. I just told you that she took it into her snatch!
Then the girl reached another point of "contrition."
"I shouldn't have said that!" she said. "I shouldn't have talked that way! Damn! I must have been crazy to say that to you. I know you're trying to help me. I have got to be some kind of goon!"
Realizing the extent of the girl's feelings, I assured her of my acceptance of her manner of action, and then she continued to tell me about the manner of her mother's and the deviate neighbor's actions.
She told me that the neighbor had gotten a look of "frenzy" on his face, and that he had shoved the raw ear of corn into the vagina of her mother with such force that Lola feared her mother's genitals would turn inside out!
As she told me about the incident, I got the distinct feeling that she was rejoicing in the memory of her mother's indiscretion, for she was most prolific in her manner of description about the manner of her mother's actions, as well as that of Earl! Her face became flushed, as she told me about the rest of the incident.
As the man had forced the ear of corn into her mother's organ, the woman had cried out another time, and her voice held a note of fear. Her body, though, was searching for additional release.
"Not so rough!" she had groaned. "Not so fast!" But then, as she had found his hand driving the thing into her with more rapidity, her buttocks had begun to rise to his thrusting.
Lola had heard his joyful retaliation to her mother's cries of pain and pleasure. "That's better!" he had said to his partner, and Lola saw her mother's hips quiver as she endeavored to take more and more of the vegetable.
"My God!" Lola exclaimed. "She raised one of her legs up to the point that it was across Earl's shoulder, and the other was jerking and quivering. As a matter-of-fact, her whole body was quivering and jerking all over, and I could see that the ear of corn was becoming pink from the rawness. I know that she was enjoying it, though!"
Q. You're sure of that?
A. "Hell, yes! If she wasn't, then why would she have let that brute do the things to her that he did to her!"
I questioned her about the things that the man did to her mother, and she was specific in telling me that, as he had stroked the cob into the woman, he had tried to get more and more of the thing into her!
"He finally got the thing all the way into her!" said the pregnant teen-ager. "He got all of it into her. All that I could see was her face, which was a picture of something I can't even describe, and the green tip of the cob that was sticking out of her!
"That was all of the vegetable that was sticking out of her parts!
"Then I heard him tell Mother something, and she did what he said, even though she acted like she didn't know if it was the right thing to do or not. She acted like she wanted to do it, but she also acted like she was afraid to do it."
Q. Was the ear of corn still into her organs ?
A. Oh yes! It was, like I told you, all the way into her-I mean all the way. Once, she even reached down and mashed on the thing. I don't know how she took all of that thing. I don't think I could have ever taken, or ever could take a thing like that into me!
Then Lola told me that the man had told her mother to get onto her stomach. She said that his erection was larger, more throbbing-more huge than before-and that she could even see the blue veins that ran down the outer skin.
"His organ was the largest I have ever seen!" she repeated. "I've never seen anything like it! He must have been deformed in that part of his body, because he was like a stallion-you know, a stud! I'm telling you!"
Her shock was more complete when she saw the man turn her mother onto her naked stomach.
"Turn over onto your stomach!" he had told the frenetic female, and when she had balked, he had flipped her over as easy as a breeze flips a leaf.
"Like I told you--! " Lola stated, "My mother acted like she wanted to do what he told her, but she was afraid. I could pretty well tell, though, that she was going to do what he told her to do."
"Put a pillow under your belly!" she had heard the man tell her mother, and she stated that she could see the dirt on the bottom of his feet. She told me that this man was a "filthy pig!"
"His feet, were filthy!" she said. "I could see the rear of his shorts which were hanging over the chair. I could see the stains in the seat of them. I guess that he was about the nastiest man I have ever seen. I remember that I wondered why Mother was doing things with the guy."
Regardless of what Lola remembered, it became more obvious that her mother had indeed done things with the man that were more than shocking to the young budding girl.
Lola listened to the man continue to instruct her mother.
"Put another pillow under your belly!" she heard the man repeat to her mother, your ass ain't up high enough!"
"You're not going to do that to me again, are you?" questioned Lola's mother, "That last time nearly killed me! I thought I was going to have to go to the doctor! Why don't you take that ear of corn out and let's do it the right way this time!"
"We'll do it that way later," Earl had told the woman. "Right now, we're gonna' do it this way, or we ain't gonna' do it at all!"
"All right," Lola's mother had said in resignation, "Use something on your organ though. You are so big."
Lola told me that the man was decent enough to smear some hand cream on his organ, but that was about all the decency that he showed to her mother.
"That man was a brute!" declared Lola. "I mean, he was like a wild animal. He was so hairy and dirty looking that I almost gagged looking at him. He sure wound up my mother though!"
In spite of his treatment of Lola's mother, it was obvious she experienced some delight from his love-making.
From what Lola told me, the woman enjoyed his sadistic treatment, for she hadn't resisted him futher when he had positioned his hulking frame on to her rear. She did cry out, though, when he began his initial probing of her rectum.
"Earl! Earl!" Lola heard her mother scream. "Easy now, easy! Don't split me in half!"
"Don't worry, baby!" the man half-laughed. "What would I do for some good pussy like you got if I did that!" Then he laughed again, and thrust his penis into her!"
"Oh don't!" cried Lola's mother. "You've just got to stop! I can't stand it."
But then Lola told me that the man was obviously beyond self-control. He forced his giant organ into her mother's anus, and began a series of violent thrusts. He forced his organ into her anus all the way to the root of it, where it joined his abdomen. Then he suddenly withdrew.
"I could tell that Mother was in pain!" said Lola to me, but when he withdrew, she asked him why he stopped. Then I knew that she was enjoying it more than she let on."
I questioned her about why the man had withdrawn his penis from her mother's rectum, and she told me what the man had said.
"That damned end of that cob of corn is hurting me in the nuts!" the man had told her mother. "Be still, I want to get it further in, or take it out!" Then he laughed. "I can't stand the way that thing is eatin' my cods up!"
Lola told me that the first thing he did was to try to push the cob further into her mother, but the woman had pleaded with him to stop.
"Please, Earl, pleazzze! I can't stand it in me any deeper!" the mother had said to the mauling man. "I just can't take all of that thing into me! Oooooh, My God!"
Earl must have summoned up some hidden vestige of sympathy, for Lola told me that he removed the ear of corn from her mother's genitals.
"Ooooh!" the mother had cried when the pinkish ear was withdrawn. "Oooooh, but that feels better!"
"Bullshit!" Earl had replied, and then he had mounted her rear for the second time.
"Before he got back onto her," said Lola, "I had a chance to glimpse her genitals. That was some kind of a revelation. The thing was open as wide as anything I have ever seen! I could have never dreamed that she could have looked like that down there!" The girl made a motion toward her own genital area, as she made that last statement. She blushed, and continued to tell me about the rabid party of passion that Earl and her mother had engaged in.
She told me that when Earl had mounted her mother had responded with a sigh of joy. Evidently, the ear of corn had been causing her severe discomfort, for the girl told me that there was a discharge coming from her mother's genital area. According to Lola though, that discharge didn't seem to be bothering either of the passionate participants.
"How do you like that, baby!" questioned the erotic Earl, as he plunged deeper and deeper into Lola's mother. "Yeah Baby!" he had groaned hoarsely. "Yeah, Baby, how you like that stuff! I'm goin' in deeper now!"
"Ooooh!" Lola's mother had cried out, as she felt the full force of the man's throbbing organ go into her to the full depth of penetration. "Oooooh!" she had cried out again. Lola said that that cry was not a cry of pain, but one of passion, for she had heard her mother say other things to the man!
"Honestly!" exclaimed Lola, "I don't think I'll ever see anything like that to my dying day. Mother kept telling him to go faster to shove himself into her as deep as he could! I guess he was still into her rear I really don't know, but he kept using his hands to spread the cheeks of her buttocks, so I imagine that is the place he was into. I couldn't really see where he was into!"
Lola told me that she watched the couple copulate until she saw the man get red in the face and reach his climax.
"He got going real good!" Lola stated. "He got to going so good that the hairs on his rear even got stiff. I've' never understood about that day. Mother was raring back against him and begging him for more!"
That was when Lola decided to try a little promiscuity herself. As she told me, she said that she didn't see why she should be so virtuous when her mother was doing things like that.
"I made up my mind that I was going to do some things!" Lola said, "but I didn't have the guts to go through with the real act for about two more years!"
Q. What did you do in the meantime?
A. I played with myself, and did things with girls and boys, but I didn't let any of them have all of me!
Q. You mean that you didn't have actual intercourse with any of them?
A. That's right. I never let any boy put anything into me except a finger. That is until I fell in love with Eric! He's the brother of the girl I thought was my best friend!
In chapter three, we shall continue to involve ourselves with the remainder of Lola's story-a story of curiosity, sex and sensuality!
CHAPTER THREE
ERIC AND EROTICISM, LOVE AND LOLA
Lola told me that Eric's sister was a girl named Selina. She described the girl as being about her same age, and being highly sexy! In our third interview, she even brought a picture of the girl so that I could see her. I could understand then, why Lola had said the girl was highly sexy looking.
There was no doubt about it. For a female of fourteen, or thereabout, she was truly a remarkable specimen. She was larger than Lola, and her breasts were full-formed. Her hips made her dress hug tightly to their curves, and her face was an invitation to sex.
The photograph was in color, and I could see the auburn tint of her hair the cherubic complexion of her skin. I could see that she was most proud of her attributes from the way her full lips curved into an inviting smile.
"I did things with Salina," said Lola in a loquacious voice. "I was doing things with her before I even thought about doing things with Eric. He's about eighteen, and he treated me like a kid for about a year. I met Salina when I was twelve. I don't mind telling you, I was built pretty good, even then."
From looking at Lola at the age of fourteen plus, I had to admit that she must have been well developed at the age of twelve, for her figure was blooming all over the chair she was seated in. Though there was a rounding coming to her abdomen, because of her pregnancy, I could see that she was indeed a prediction of things to come.
"It was funny the way I met Selina."
"It was funny the way I met Salina!"
I listened as she continued, but she seemed hesitant to become serious. So, I posed a pertinent question to her about the funny manner in which she had first met Selina the sister of her impregnating lover.
Q. What was so funny about the way you met Selina?
A. Oh man, it was really funny! I mean that was the living end!
Q. What do you mean, but "the living end?"
A. I mean that it was just that! Man you are really a cube!
Q. A cube?
A. Yeah, Daddy, you must know what I mean by that!
I must confess that I actually didn't know what the girl meant when she told me that I was a "cube," and I told her to that effect!
"Man!" she exclaimed, "You are really from nowheresville! A cube is a cat with four sides all alike you know, a square!"
Q. Why do you call me something like that?
A. You remind me of a preacher. You're supposed to be helping me, and you don't know what a cube is? Boy, that's a dandy. I think I'll go home to Mother. She's probably doing something that's worth watching. That'll be better than sitting here and trying to describe the facts of life to you. I'm really beginning to wonder about you. One thing though...
Q. What's that?
A. At least, you have gotten the old woman, and my father off of me for this thing I got into.
I told the girl that I was glad of that, but I really wondered about her switch of personalities.
She settled down, however, and continued to tell me about the funny way, in which she met her. best friend.
"I had played hookey that day," said Lola.
"I just didn't feel like listening to a bunch of teachers. I decided to go to a movie. I had snitched a couple of dollars out of our family cookie jar. You know, the place where the household money is kept?"
I nodded, lighted my pipe, and momentarily contemplated her torrid tale.
Q. Is that where you met Selina?
A. Yeah, and the way I met her was funny as heck!
Q. You've stated that fact one time. Won't you please get on with it?
A. Yeah, I'll get on with it. But pardon me if I laugh a little about it. I just can't help it. Every time I think about it, I get the giggles!
I couldn't help but be warmed by the mirth of the youthful girl. I thought at one time she might become hysterical, but she was able to continue, though from time to time, she did break out in fits of hilarity.
She told me that when she first entered the movie, she took a seat in the lower area on the main floor. But then, as she had watched a torrid love scene, she had found herself becoming very aroused.
"I watched that man kiss that woman the man on the screen, and I got all hot and bothered!" she told me. "I got so wound up that I decided to sit in the balcony. I knew that I could rub myself and things like that. I knew that no one would pay any attention to me if I was doing things up there. That's where most of the loving takes place. Heck, I've even seen kids go the whole route up in a movie balcony!"
Q. Then you went to the balcony with the express purpose to masturbate? A. Yeah.
I went further into detail with the girl, and she told me that the balcony was where she found her friend Selina.
"When I got up there," she said, "I went to the washroom, and I removed my panties so that I could get to my thing better.
"I put my panties into my purse, and then I took a seat, up in the top of the balcony. I watched the movie, and then I started getting that feeling down here."
She pointed to her pubic area, and I could see that she was attempting to tell me the truth about her sexual session with Selina.
"I started by getting myself aroused. I rubbed my stomach. I got a real kick out of that. I really get a charge out of rubbing myself! I tried not to think about it, but I couldn't help but to think about the day I had seen Mother and that man doing things with that ear of corn. Oh hell! Oh hell! Oh hell!"
But then Lola forgot her reticence, and she told me more about the session she had with Selina.
"As I told you," she told me "I got to the point of high arousal. I was really loving myself and I couldn't have cared who caught me. I was sitting there with my eyes closed and, I had managed to get one of my hands the right one think it was under my rump, and my fingers into my thing!"
Q. Your thing?
A. Yes, I was fooling about with everything I had I wasn't fooling with my my pussy.
I was fingering myself in the rear. I just could not get it out of my mind the way that my mother had gotten her load off by having things done to her in that spot!
Then the girl apologized to me for using that frankness.
I assured her that it was the right thing to do to be perfectly frank with me. I advised her that that was the only way that we were going to be able to progress to some sort of a resolution of her problem.
She continued and continued with a frankness that I had not counted upon. Her manner was that of a trollop no, her manner was that of a wanton female who persisted in scourging herself by the act of scourging others with a vile tongue.
"I had managed to get my hand underneath me," she startled me by saying, "I had gotten one of my fingers into my organ, and I was tickling myself around the rear with my thumb and my other fingers. I was really going crazy! I loved the feelings..."
Q. What were those feelings? Were they mental or physical? A. Both.
She continued to amplify her statements, and I could tell that she must have been highly aroused by her vicarious transgressions, and her manipulations of herself.
"I was really enjoying myself," she stated, "when I heard this voice asking me a question!"
Q. What question did the voice ask? I assume that it was the voice of Selina, is that correct?
A. Yes, that's the answer!
Q. What did she have to ask you, that is if you had never met? I thought you said that you could do things undetected in the balcony of the theater.
"That's right!" stated Lola, "I guess I must have been too far out though. I guess that's why she noticed me. She asked me if she could sit in the seat next to me. I was a little annoyed, and I told her I would rather not sit next to her."
Q. What did she say to you? "She reached over and put her hand onto my stomach!" said Lola. "I knew then, that she knew what I had been doing. I knew that I had been found out."
Q. Did that frightened you? What did you do?
"What would you have done?" questioned the girl of me, but I had no ready answer. I was honest with her in an attempt to explain that I wouldn't have known what to do if I had been caught masturbating or, as she said playing with herself in the matinee!
I repeated my question, not answering hers. "What did you do when she touched your stomach?"
"I really didn't know what to do exactly!" Lola said, as lingered over her choice of words. "I really didn't know what to do!"
Then Lola laughed again, and I could see that w she was enjoying the anxiety that she was keeping me in.
"It felt good though!" she said in continuation, "when Selina's hand found my tummy. I really thought things were wonderful at that moment I changed my mind, and told her to go ahead and sit next to me."
Q. Did she?
Heck, she practically jumped into the seat next to "Sure she did!" said Lola, "Sure she did. me, and her hand was beneath my skirt before I knew what was happening!"
Q. Was that your first homosexual experience?
A. What do you mean?
I watched the girl fume, in an effort to prove that there was nothing queer about her. I wondered about that, for the seedling if bi-sexuality is prevalent in all of us!
"I'm not queer!" the girl stated to me. "I'm not a queer by any means. I did some things with Selina, but I'm not any kind of a queer!"
Once she got over her fit of anger her period of anguish, she continued to tell me about the sex session in the seat of the movie that she had ditched school to see.
"I didn't really know what was going to happen," the girl said, her body appearing more sensuous that it should have been for a girl of her tender years, "I felt her hands though, and I heard her talking to me!"
Then Lola told me what the girl had said to her about the things she had done to her, as her hands roamed (Selina's) over her eager body, body.
Once Selina had begun manipulating Lola, Lola found that an entirely different feeling came over her when someone else was massaging her physique.
"I really got a thrill out of the things she did to me!" Lola said, "I got up to a really intense feeling of sex!"
Q. How old did you say you were then?
A. I was twelve, maybe a little older. I was old enough to get warm and wet down there!
Again, Lola made a gesture indicating her genital area. Then she told me more about her relationship with Selina the development of their activities that amorous afternoon.
Though the movie was going full swing, Selina's experienced hands brought Lola (so Lola said) to a state of excitement--excitement of such a degree that she paid no attention to anything except the concentration of Selina's manipulations. She told me that as Selina had continued to finger her parts to rub, to massage her about her crotch, she began talking to her.
"What's your name?" Selina whispered to Lola, as she squeezed a finger between the outer lips of Lola's vulva.
"My name is Lola,' Lola had managed to gasp. "What's yours?"
"Mine is Selina!" her sub-teen seductress said. "Raise up a little. Fix your dress so I can get my hand under your butt."
Lola told me that she had accommodated Selina, and by shifting in the seat, she was able to let the girl get one of her hands beneath her buttocks.
"I sort of raised up in the seat!" Lola said, "Selina put her hand through the arm rest. When I sat back down, I felt one of her fingers going into me. I was all wet and gooey. It went right on in. She started asking me if I liked doing things like what we were doing. I told her that I did, and she said that we ought to leave the movie. She said we ought to go to her house. She said she had some pictures she wanted to show me."
Q. I take it that you went with her?
A. Yeah, and I got a lot more than a look at some pictures.
Q. You weren't afraid to go to a strange house with a stranger?
"Wouldn't say I was exactly afraid," Lola told me. "I was a little doubtful about going with her, but the more she kept doing things to me, and talking to me, the more she got me hot enough to do anything she could have asked me. We left the movie and went to her house.
"I was impressed as heck when we got there too, because she really had a nice home. It was a two story house, and inside, it was beautiful.
We never could have had a home like that. Daddy made good money, but he wasn't like Selina's father. Her father was one of those promoters. He did things with land you know, property. He would go out and buy the stuff buy it as cheap as he could, develop it, put in roads, streets, and all that sort of stuff. Then he would sell it at a big profit!"
"Go ahead and tell me about the relationship between you and Selina though, that is, if you feel like talking more today." She obviously felt like telling more, and she continued.
"Well," she said to me, "when we got to the house, rather by the time we got to her house, we both knew a lot about each other! We knew an awful lot about each other!"
Indeed, they must have learned a lot about each other, for, according to Lola, Selina was most pointed in her manner of questioning, as well as mode of admission.
As they had walked to Selina's house, Selina questioned Lola thoroughly about her practice of masturbation. She told the girl Selina told Lola, that she had been doing things to herself since she was about nine. She admitted to Lola that she had had a full sexual relationship with a male neighbor, but she told Lola that she much preferred to have a softer kind of a relation a relation with a girl. Once they were in her home, and upstairs in her room, she amplified on the subject to Lola.
"I was stunned!" said Lola, "I was really shocked, because I wanted to do something like that, and didn't have the guts to go through with it!"
Lola also admitted that in addition to her shocked feeling, she was intensely interested in the tale that Selina told her.
"It only happened last week!" Selina had told Lola, her face a reflection of the interim of sexual activity she had engaged in. "I liked it, but not like I like doing things with you!"
As Selina had continued to tell Lola of the act of sex, Lola told me that she felt Selina's hand again delving beneath her skirt.
"She locked the door of her room when we first went in," said Lola, "that's when she started telling me about doing the act with the neighbor."
Q. Was the neighbor around her age? Was he younger, older? "She told me that he was a full grown man!" said Lola. I guess that's why I was so shocked about the thing. She said he was about thirty I think that's what she said. Things are a little hazy, because she was fooling around with me all the time she was talking. I'll get her to come tell you about it if you want me to do that!"
I was noncommittal on that subject, for I didn't want to talk to the girl without her parents' permission. It didn't work out that way, however, for on a subsequent visit, Lola brought Selina into the office. We will devote some time to her in additional chapters, but for the present, Lola's rendition of the sessions with Selina will more than suffice.
Lola told me that once Selina had bolted her door, that she had spoken to her.
"Let's get onto the bed," Selina had said to her eager (but apprehensive) acquaintance. "Come, let's do this right if we are going to do it!"
"I did what she asked me to do!" languished
Lola, as she flushed in the face. "I lay on the bed, and as she told me about her sex with the neighbor man, I let her put her hand back onto my thing."
Q. Had you fondled her yet, or had the arrangement been one-sided?
A. I hadn't done anything to her up to that point, but as she told me about the things she had done to the man, and the things he had done to her, I got real hot. I found myself wanting to touch her on her parts.
Q. Did you do that?
A. Yes. I was surprised to find that she had on no panties either. I guess she had never even worn any to the movie. When I touched her thing, she was all warm, wet. She was gooey as hell, just like I was!
I advised the child that she did not have to resort to profanity, but as we progressed further into sessions, her language became more loquacious. She talked more freely, and with much less restraint, many times resorting to speech that was uncharacteristic of her previous attitude.
She explained that on that certain day she was telling me about, she had listened to her friend tell her what to do.
"Let's undress!" Selina had said, and the girls stripped down to the flesh. Lola's description of Selina was lurid, vivid, and she spoke with a candor that left little to the imagination.
"You should have seen her!" exclaimed Lola. "You should have seen her. I thought I was in the room with a Venus. Her breasts were already fuller than they should have been for a girl her age, and she was real hairy down there. Remember, we were between twelve and thirteen. I could not keep my eyes off of her! I thought about the time I had seen Daddy lick Mother's thing I remembered the way she reacted to his slurping. I wondered what that would be like, either to do it or to have it done!"
Q. Did you engage in that act?
A. Yes, but not right off. Selina started telling me these things to do, and all the time, she was trying to tell me about the time she did it with the neighbor. She told me that she could arrange it for me to do it too, if I wanted to do it!
Q. Did you agree to that?
A. No, but I wanted to. The only boy that has ever rooted me is Eric. I'll swear to that. I could kill him, though, for turning his back on me when I got this way.
The girl gestured toward her rounding stomach, and I could well understand her chagrined bitterness. But, then, as usual, she continued. She regained her composure, and told me of the things Selina had mentioned that afternoon, as they had engaged in their sexual session.
"Come here," Selina had said to her after they were nude, and Lola admitted to going to the girl. "Want to hear about how it was with me and that man?" had then asked Selina, as her hand dug to Lola's crotch.
"Yes!" had said Lola, her mind still dwelling on the thoughts of either putting her mouth to Selina's parts or having Selina perform the act of cunnilingus on her.
"I had been noticing the way this guy had been looking at me for about a month," said Selina, as she forced Lola's body across the bed. As she continued to tell Lola of the interlude of sex her hands were busy as busy as hands can be. Her mouth went to Lola's breasts from time to time, and Lola told me that she could hardly concentrate on what Selina was saying for the tremendous feelings of emotion that were welling within her the physical arousal that Selina was bringing to birth. Selina continued, though, and though in some spots, the tape of Lola's confession is garbled with emotion, we were able to discern most of what transpired.
"Like I was telling you," Selina said, her hands terribly as busy as before, "I had watched the way that this man his name is Randy, had been looking at me. I was on the way to school when he called out to me. He's a bachelor. He lives with another guy, but one of them works the night shift, and one of them works the day shift. He really worked on me that day though!"
"What did he do to you?" Lola had asked.
Selina didn't answer her question then, though, for she was kissing her on her budding breasts, nibbling onto her nude nipples.
"Like that?" Selina said. "Open up your legs a little more. I want to see what you have down there. I want to see it. I am going to kiss you on it!"
And then Lola had spread her legs wider to the touch of Selina's hungry hand, and she said that she had felt Selina's fingers probing her parts, even as Selina's voice had probed the parts of her mind, with her torrid rendition of her sex bout with the neighbor.
"Oh, but that was something!" Selina had told her. "He really did it to me good. That's the first time I ever had anything like that! I really haven't ever had anything like that before! But I I will again I"
As Selina kept talking about her sexual session, her fingers were tiny spiders of sex as they spindled through the area of Lola's genitals.
"I was about out of my mind!" Lola said. "I mean, I was really going wild! She had managed to get two fingers into me, and her fingers weren't the jigging things like I had done to myself. She sort of tickled, and rolled them about in my thing! I could feel myself getting wetter and wetter, and I could also feel the explosions that were going off in my head! When she started kissing my stomach. I thought I would go insane!"
Q. You say that she committed the act of cunnilingus on you?
A. You mean that she licked me--she licked me down there! (The girl indicated her genital area another time)
I told her that that was what I meant, and she told me about the manner in which the girl had loved her!
"All the time she was talking," stated Lola, "she was telling me about the way that the man had done things to her. Her voice was muffled because her face had gotten down to my inner thighs-to my crotch. I could barely understand her, because she was talking into my thigh. She was really slurping, smacking and telling, though."
Indeed, Selina must have been desirous of telling all, for even as her mouth nibbled Lola's parts, her voice carried its message to Lola's ears. Though muffled by emotion, and the cloister of Lola's thighs, the words came through strong enough for Lola to understand what Selina was saying.
"He was handsome!" Selina had said. "He was big looking strong looking, and he called to me as I was passing his house on the way to school that day."
Then Lola told me that the girl had talked about something else.
Q. "What was she talking about?" I questioned.
A. "She told me to do things!" said Lola. Q. What things did she tell you to do? A. She told me to open up my legs wider, and then she told me to kiss her on the thing! Q. Did you do that?
A. Yes, but not right then, She got so busy with me that she forgot about that for a moment. She brought me right to the heights.
Q. "The heights?"
A. Yeah, you cube! Boy, but you are really a swatter!
Q. A "swatter?"
A. Yeah, that's worse than a cube-worse than a square! A swatter is something that can't even kill a fly most of the time!
Lola was becoming repetitive, so I decided to conclude the interview.
CHAPTER FOUR
ERIC AND EROTICISM
In three days, I was able to see Lola again. She continued with her tale of teen-age sex. She told me more about her bout with Selina, and then she told me about her sexual session with Eric, the deviate's errant brother the male who had conceived with her-the male who had gored her to the state of impregnation.
"Where were we?" she asked of me, her rounding body in a greater state of roundness. "Where were we when we stopped before?"
I listened to her apology for her former hostility toward me, and I was gratified by the fact that she had the aplomb to apologize.
"I'm sorry about the other day," she said to me. "I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have said the things that I did! I was nuts-a fool." She shook her head in desperation. "I was really a kook!"
Q. Why do you say that?
"I say it because I mean it!" she confessed, and I could see contrition coming to the fore. "I should be killed for saying the things to you that I said. If it wasn't for you, I would have a lot of people onto me!"
"A lot of people onto you?" I questioned, and she explained.
"Yes, that's right!" she said. "If it wasn't for you, I would probably be in one of those detention homes right now. My folks have even softened up about this situation. They took me to a doctor, I guess that they are trying to help, but the doctor told them that I couldn't do anything about the condition anymore. He told me that I was too far gone-that I would have to have the baby! I guess I want to anyway. I want to really, but I'm so afraid of the pain that is going to come."
I looked at this distraught teener, and I could feel her pain her mental anguish as she clasped her hands to her head as though to control its spread. She continued to tell me about the passionate session that Selina had had with the neighborhood bachelor, and it was a confession, indeed.
Lola told me that as Selina had continued to kiss her about the genitals-to caress her parts, she had continued to talk to her.
"I got all of it off!" said Lola, "but Selina wanted to tell me about the incident with the man. I would have eaten her right then. I even asked her to let me do that to her, but she only wanted to lay next to me and talk. She went into detail about her firsts-her first..."
"Her first act of intercourse?"
"Yes!" blushed the girl, as she reverted to another frame of personality. She told me all about it. We laid there on the bed-we laid side by side-and she told me all about the thing!"
Then Lola told me what the girl had told her, as the girl's hands had continued to roam over her body, and her own hands had done their roaming too!
"The guy called me over to him!" Selina had said. "I knew he wanted something. I liked the way he looked too! I really liked the way he looked!"
"I asked her," Lola said, "what she thought about going up to a stranger. She told me that he wasn't a stranger. She told me that he had been living in the neighborhood for a few years. She said that she had run errands for him on several occasions. It was only in time that she had gotten more like a woman that he had looked at her different."
"You mean looked at her sexually."
"That's right. She told me that it was only after she started getting you know? You know?"
"Know what?" I questioned in an attempt to draw the girl out.
"Oh hell!" she exclaimed. "You know what I mean. You know what I mean!" Her fists doubled, and she pounded the arms of her chair. I could certainly see her discomfort, but then as suddenly as she had lost her composure, she regained it and continued.
"I mean her breasts!" she said. "That's not what Selina said though. She talks plainer than I do. She uses the word-the word..." Again she hesitated.
"What word did Selina use?" I questioned, and she gave me a direct answer, though her face flushed from embarrassment!
"She used the word tits." Then, she continued with a story so lucid, frank and candid that she forgot about her fears of loquaciousness and sanguinity. She told me that as she and the seductive Selina had lain next to each other, the girl had told her more about her rampage with the man named Randy.
"Like I was telling you!" Selina said to Lola, "I was on the way to school. I had to walk that day. Most of the time, John-that's our driver, you might call him a handy-man-drives me. But that day, I was walking. He was down with a cold. I think he was down with a hangover, though!"
Lola laughed. "That's what Selina told me!" Lola said. "Honest to God, that's what she told me." Then Lola laughed another time, as she continued to relate Selina's conversation to me.
She continued by stating that the pair of them were still on the bed together, and for some reason, Selina wanted to free herself of the tale of sex with the "romping rapist" named Randy.
"Why do you call this man a "romping rapist," I asked of Lola. She told me that that was what Selina had said had taken place. Selina's tale was commensurate with what Lola told me, but I did not hear her tale for another week or two.
As Selina had told of the incident, she had run her hot hands over Lola's shivering body, and her voice had pounded a tale of turbulence into her ears. She had told Lola the following:
"I went to him when he called," Selina had told the girl, as Lola felt a finger forcing its way into her genitals. I walked over to him. He was raking the grass, but he asked me if I could do something for him."
"I could hardly understand her," Lola said, "because she really had me wound up, but I got enough of the story to tell you about what she told me."
Indeed, Lola did tell me about it. Selina told Lola that the man had asked her to go to the store for him. She had replied that she was afraid she might be late for school. He was persistent, however, and he induced her to come into his house.
"Once he got her into the house," Lola said, "she told me that he began fumbling around as if he was looking for something."
"I could see his crotch bulging!" Selina told her. "His crotch was really bulging. I got to thinking about what his thing would look like. I had seen Eric's before, but I wondered what Randy's would look like!"
"That was the first time she had mentioned Eric to me," Lola said. "I asked her who Eric was, and she told me that he was her brother.
She told me that she sneaked looks at him all the time. She said that she got a kick out of looking at a man's thing. I like that myself. I remembered the way I felt when I saw that man Earl's thing."
Then Lola told me about what else Selina had told her. Selina had become aroused by looking at the man's crotch, and he must have perceived that she was in a state of excitement. He asked her to come to where he was fumbling through a drawer. He told her he wanted her to help him look for something.
"When I went over there," Selina had told Lola, "I laid my books on the top of this cabinet he was fumbling through.
"I was standing right next to him, and I could feel the heat coming from his body. I asked him what he wanted me to help him look for, but I was so busy looking at the stiffness of his thing against his pants that I couldn't concentrate on anything!"
From what Lola told me, the man Randy had made a movement which forced his body into contact with Selina's. Selina said that she had liked the feeling, but she told Lola that she had moved away from him.
"He asked me why I was so startled," Selina said. "I told him that I had better go on to school that I was already running late. He asked me to wait another minute. He still insisted that he had something to show me. I waited, and then he brought it out!"
"I was really excited by her story!" Lola said, "and I asked her what the man had brought out. She told me she would tell me, but that she wanted me to play with her pussy! She told me she wanted me doing that while she told me about what she and the man had done!"
Q. Did you?
A. Yes, and that's what led to my eating her thing!
I asked Lola if that act took place then and there, but she told me she only fingered Selina until Selina finished her torrid tale about the man named Randy.
"I fingered her good though!" Lola said. "And even while she was telling me about the day she got it from that neighbor, I could feel her opening her legs, and pressing her thing up so my hand could do a better job getting into her."
Lola told me that she became more and more excited, as Selina continued her tale in gasping spurts of conversation.
"Ooooh!" Selina cried. "That feels good! I wish your finger was as big as Randy's thing. I'd rather have you instead, if that makes any difference."
"It really made a difference, too!" stated Lola to me. "It was different doing something with another person instead of doing it alone."
I questioned Lola about whether or not Selina finished her story, and she told me that the girl did. Lola told me that Selina had said the man produced a picture of a man and woman in the act of copulation.
"You should have seen that picture, Lola!" Selina had said. "You should have seen my face, too! I'll bet it was as red as a beet. I wanted to run, but I wanted to stay, too! His crotch was getting bigger all the time, and then he asked me if I would like to see some other pictures he had."
Lola told me that as Selina had told her more about the man, that she (Lola) had gotten more aroused, and by the time Selina continued, Lola admitted to the kissing of the girl's breasts.
"The more she talked," Lola said, "the hotter I got. I buried my face into her breasts. She has real big ones, you know. The nipples on her breasts stick up like little plums! God, but they got stiff when my mouth got onto her. You should have heard her moaning for me to bite her-to nibble on her titties!"
Then Lola flushed again, and I could tell that she was becoming embarrassed again. She had flipped from an overt sexual personality to a more reticent one. I had to question her to draw her out.
Q. You say that she continued to tell you of the episode with the man named Randy?
A. Yes, and she didn't leave out anything. I knew that when she asked me to do the next thing to her.
Q. What was the next thing she asked you to do to her?
A. She rolled over onto her stomach and asked me to paddle her on the bottom-to pinch her. She asked me to kiss her on the rump-that is, she asked me to do that after I smacked her with my hand!
Q. You entered into the act of spanking her?
Lola admitted to the act of spanking Selina, and Selina admitted to Lola that that act was one of the deviations that she and Randy had entered into.
"I couldn't believe that things like that would bring someone to a climax!" said Lola, "but it sure as heck brought Selina to one. All the time I was doing it to her, she was telling me more about the man that she had done it with. By the time she finished telling me about him, I had her bottom so red that it was glowing!"
Lola told me that Selina breathed out her tale, even as she was getting spanked. She told me after Selina had decided to look at some of the deviate's other photographs, he had questioned her about how she would explain her absence from school. At that point, Selina had told him to call the school-pretend to be her father-excuse her absence! He did!
Lola continued to tell me of the sex session, but in the interest of not being repetitious, it would be well to get Selina's version of the episode, which we will cover in the next chapter.
For now, let us dwell on the session of sex between Selina, Lola, and then later the erotic Eric!
"By the time Selina had finished telling me about Randy," Lola said, "I was hotter than a red hot poker. I did exactly what she asked me to do. I would have done it even if she hadn't asked me to do it!"
Q. You are referring to the act of kissing her parts-her buttocks, and that sort of thing?
A. Yes. I was a little doubtful about the outcome of doing that into her rear, but she kept on begging me to do it!
Q. You mean the spanking?
A. No, I mean...
There was no question about the girl's lack of speech, for she hesitated so long that I had to bring her out again!
Q. You did what to Selina? A. I did it! I did it and I'll go on and admit it. She asked me to lick her in the...
Again, her voice trailed, and I had to prod her to confession-and eventual catharsis. "Tell me child," I begged of the girl, for I knew that without the full release of her emotions that we could never reach any progressive goal. She spoke, and that time she was much more loquacious in her manner of confession in her manner of admission. She continued at a-rapid fire pace, as she told me of the bout of anal activity she had found herself in.
"Well," she finally admitted, "I did what she told me to do. I got my face down to her rump, and I began kissing her all about the legs. She told me to start at the back of her knees, and to come up from there. She told me to kiss the inner parts of her thighs. She opened her legs so that I could get to her better."
Then Lola told me that she had reached to the girl's rear, she had opened the cheeks of her buttocks, and she had begun kissing the girl on her rear.
"She was talking to me all the time!" Lola said. "I was all wet with sweat, and I was all wet down there!" Again, she pointed to the area of her organs. "I thought I would pass out from the excitement that was generated in me. I did it, though! I didn't particularly like the way that she was getting everything, and I was getting nothing except excitement, and I told her to turn over. I told her that I wanted something too!"
"What did she do?" I questioned, and she answered. If she had told me anything except what she told me, I would not have believed her, but her manner of speech was such that I could not help but to know that she was telling me a true story.-
"I just didn't like doing things to her, when I wasn't getting anything but excitement!" Lola said. "I wanted something besides licking her. I wanted to be licked myself. I wanted her to do the thing to me that I was doing to her!"
"Did you manage that?"
"Yes! I could see the reliving of the incident reflected in her petulant face. She laughed a sarcastic laugh, but then she composed herself again, and continued. "Selina turned over," Lola told me. "I got on top, and as she did it to me, I did it to her!"
Q. You engaged in mutual cunnilingus? A. Yes, if that's what you call it. But I found it more distasteful than I thought it might be!
Q. Why do you say that? A. She had a little bit of a smelly thing about her.
Q. A little bit of a smelly thing about her? A. Yes. You know, she just didn't smell good. I guess that was because she was so overheated. She hasn't smelled that way since.
I questioned the girl about the smelly thing further, and she replied that since that day, Selina had not smelled anything "but good." Then I questioned her about the way that Eric had done things to her. She told me that after that day, she was a constant visitor at Selina's home. She met Eric, and immediately "fell in love."
"He's so handsome!" she declared. "The first time I saw him, I knew that I was going to have to have him-I just knew it! Can you imagine something happening that fast. It was a year before he would fool around with me though!"
Q. What happened during that year?
A. I let others do things to me, but every-time they did things to me, I was thinking about Eric. He was so handsome-so well-built. I loved the way he looked!
Then she cried again. I could see that she really believed she was "in love" with the youth.
"I loved him-I still do!" she said, "I loved him from the moment I met him. I really love him. I don't care what he has done to me, I still love him. I really didn't appreciate the way he had those boys gang up on me, though!"
Q. What do you mean by having those boys "gang up on you?"
A. Oh, I wasn't gang-banged! What I mean is that he had no right to have them tell the court that they had all done things to me. I've already told you that no one ever stuck me except Eric!
Once again, we had to terminate our interview, for the girl became so distraught she could not continue. Another three days passed, but then she returned-that is, after her mother forced her to do so. I was beginning to wonder about the mother, however, for as I talked to the woman on the telephone, I could detect a note of consternation in her voice. She dwelled on herself more than she dwelled on Lola. Another chapter will be devoted to the mother-the reason for Lola's failure to adjust to the mores of our social life.
When Lola returned, she was more composed, but she was also showing more signs of her impending trial of giving birth to her illegitimate child.
"Where were we?" she said, as she settled herself into the cushioned chair. I answered her with another question.
"Where do you think we were?"
"I don't know." she replied. "I honestly don't know! I think we were on the subject of Eric. But, I want to get on with it even if that's not the subject we were on." I decided to allow the pregnant child to continue at her own pace.
"I let some other boys do things to me though," Lola said.
Again, however, she would not confess to having overt heterosexual relationships with anyone except Eric.
"I let a kid by the name of Wayne do some things to me," she said. "He was kind of cute, but all the time he was doing things to me, I thought about Eric."
"What did you allow him to do to you?"
"Have I got to tell you about that? I'm a little bit tired of telling you things about the things I have done. I'm getting a little sick of this sort of jazz!"
I endeavored to tell the girl why she must tell me these things.
"I let Wayne put his hand on me," she said. "I wanted him to finger me. I wouldn't have done it if it hadn't been for Selina talking me into it!"
I doubted that part of her confession, but I remained quiet, and allowed her to continue.
"I was over at Selina's one afternoon," she said. "We decided to peep in on Eric. We did too!"
Q. What made you decide to do that?
A. Selina told me that she thought he was doing something to himself!
Q. Was he "doing something to himself?"
A. Yes! He was really nagging his thing!
Q. "Flagging his thing?"
A. Yeah, you know, jacking his thing off. I got real hot just watching him. I fell more in love with him after I saw his thing that time!
Q. You mean his penis?
A. Yes! I really like the sight of him doing that to himself. I got all hot, and as we watched, Selina's hands were all underneath me, feeling me all over, touching everything I had!
Q. You mean that the girl was fondling your genitals?
A. You had better believe that! She was really touching me on the thing. By that time, when we got together, we always removed our panties, and went without them. That made it easier for us to do things faster!
Q. Were you both so preoccupied with sex that you thought those measures were essential for the pleasure of your activity?
A. Yes! Yes, we were doing things all the time. We were really doing them. We were really doing things all the time! That's what made us look at Erie, and then me do things with Wayne!
Q. How old was Wayne?
A. He was about fifteen. Selina had finally admitted to letting him do things to her!
Q. What had she admitted to?
A. She told me that she had done things to him with her mouth, and that he had done things to her with his thing-you know what I mean. He had stuck her in the-in the ... Oh, hell, he had put his thing into her pussy! Does that satisfy you?
It was my time for admission, and I admitted to the girl that her rendition was more than prolific-that her rendition was relevant and revealing to me about her activities before she did things to (and with) Eric.
She beat the arm of the chair another time, and then she continued to tell me about the session with Wayne. Also, she told me about the masturbatory process that Eric had gone through.
"I was really startled when I saw Eric doing that stuff to himself."
"Startled?"
"Yes!" she replied, "he had a real big thing on him, and he was doing everything to himself that he could do with both of his hands!"
"What was he doing?" I questioned.
"He was holding his things up into the place where they slip into!"
Q. The place they slip into?
A. Yes, you know-you know...
I did know what she was talking about. The area she was speaking of was a cavern that is prevalent in all males wherein the testicles can be forced. It is called the Corpus cavernosum, penis. It is a space of opening-a favorite of doctors as they search for signs of a hernia.
"He was using one hand to hold his-his balls up into the place!" Lola said. "With the other hand, he was moving the skin back and forth across the head of his thing!"
"I was really getting so hot that I couldn't actually concentrate on what he was doing. I was also getting worked up from all the things that Selina was doing to me!"
"What was she doing to you?" I questioned.
"I've already told you what she was doing to me!" Lola exclaimed with a profound belligerence. "I've already told you about that stuff. I've told you that she was doing all of the things to me that she could do. That is, she was doing all the things that she could do to me with her hands!"
I felt that to get her even more angry, at that point, might be beneficial, and I posed another question to draw her out farther. I was not prepared for the consequences, however!
Q. What exactly was she doing? A. I told you not to bug me! I told you, I told you! I told you!
I watched as the child became more angry--more angry than she had been before! I could see a flush come to her face-not a blushing emotion, but one of anger, and I knew that I had struck home.
"I'm going to tell you-you son-of-a-bitch!" she shouted, her hands pounding again. "Yes, I'm going to tell you, and I don't want another question out of you. I just don't want any more of your questioning! I don't want any more of your remarks. I know where I am, and I don't know why I need you to diddle me with your high-type mind!"
Realizing her disconcertion, I remained quiet, and let her proceed at her own pace.
"He was holding his nuts with one hand," she said, "and he was pulling on his thing with the other! All that time, Selina was fingering me between the legs-all around my rear, and into my crotch! She was really doing it to me!"
From what Lola told me, Selina must have been really "doing it to her," for she said that the girl had actually begun to probe her anus--an anal activity which brought her sheer delight!
"I really loved what she was doing!" said Lola. "I really felt it when her finger came into both my openings! I felt it good and strong! I even liked it when she stuck the one into my rear. All the time she was doing that, I was watching my Eric pull on his thing! Then all of a sudden, he got his thing real stiff, and he just held it. The juice poured out of it, and I thought I was going to die! I mean it, I thought I was going to die! He shot that stuff all over the rug. He really shot it out of himself!"
As I listened to the girl tell of her future lover's ejaculation, I could not help but to be impressed by her sincerity. She was completely carried away by her own testimony.
I thought that we might have to conclude the interview, but for another time, her personality became composed, and she was able, willing (obviously), able to continue.
"When he finally got his load off," she said to me, "Selina had one finger into my genitals, and another into my-into my other thing!"
"Into your other thing?"
"Yes," replied the plaintive child. "You know, into my other thing-do I have to say that?"
"Yes," I replied, and she went on.
"Well," she said, "she, you know, Selina had her finger into my rect-into my rectum!"
I watched her eyes sadden, as she had to produce the word, for it was hurting her severely to do so. Once she had gotten it out however, she became more complacent, and was able to continue on with her tale.
"Once Eric had gotten off his load, I felt myself coming to a climax!" said Lola. "Then I just settled down and watched what he did to himself!"
"What did he do!" I questioned, as I lit my pipe. She would have continued, but I interrupted her momentarily to brush off the ashes that had spilled onto my tweed.
Then she laughed at me, and I had to laugh too! "You're going to burn yourself alive one of these days!" she exclaimed with real mirth, and I could not but laugh with her. I was glad to see she had regained some semblance of humor! She continued.
"After we had finished watching Eric do that stuff to himself, Selina asked me if I would like to meet a friend of hers.
"She told me that he would do that right in front of us! When she told me that, I felt her fingers doing things to me sort of tickling things that made me agree to do what she had asked me to do."
Q. That's when you met the boy named Wayne ?
A. Yes, that's when I first held another person's another person of the opposite sex ... That's the first time I had a male organ in my hand! Oh hell!"
Again, I could see the bitterness blooming in the girl's immature personality. I felt for her, but I could not let that interfere with the interview. I became very stoic in my manner of questioning of her. I spoke to her in a straightforward manner, asking her to continue.
"I went with Selina to Wayne's house," said Lola. "He wasn't as tall as Eric, but his thing was as big. It might have been bigger! I was a little embarrassed by the way she got right into the act, but there wasn't anything to do but to stay, once I was in the soup!"
"How did she go about it?"
"Well," Lola said, "the first thing she did was to ask him if he was busy-had to cut the grass or anything like that. I didn't think she would come right out and ask him to do things for us, though!"
From Lola's testimony however, it was obvious that Selina not only did that, but other things as well.
"When he said that he wasn't too busy to spend a little time with us, Selina came right out and asked him if he wanted to do something about sex!"
Q. What did she ask him?
A. She asked him if he wanted to fuck. I hate to talk this way, but you told me to be honest about things when I talked to you. That's what she asked him. She came right out with the word. I thought I would perish on the spot. I know that my cheeks must have looked like red apples! I just know that!
I wouldn't have doubted that her cheeks did look like red apples, for even as she told me of the incident, she blushed.
"There was a tool shed to the rear of his house. That's where we went," Lola said. "That's where it happened! I only watched though. I have never done anything with anyone except Eric!"
"What happened?"
"That's where he did the things he did!" Then before I could restrain her, the girl abruptly terminated the conversation and left my office. I wondered if she might ever return. Her face was flushed with the pinkness of absolute embarrassment, and I wondered about her coming back.
In another two days, however, she returned and seemed in better spirits. She acted as if nothing had happened, and she spoke with a freedom that I had not perceived before.
"Where were we?" she asked me again. "I think we were talking about Wayne weren't we?"
I nodded an affirmative reply, and she continued with her story. I noticed that she was really wanting to tell me all.
"When we got back to the shack in the back of his yard," she told me, "Selina really started to work on him!"
"Selina started to work on him?"
"Yeah," Lola replied. "You should have seen the things that they did!"
Q. You watched, but didn't engage in acts with Wayne however?
A. No, what I meant was that I didn't let him put his penis into me. I played with it though, and Selina got me in the mood to let him put his finger into me.
"You say that Wayne was around the age of fifteen?"
"Yes," Lola replied, and then she continued to tell me about the sex session that the trio had gone through.
"There was a sort of a bench in the shed," she went on. "It was about three feet high, and about four feet long. It was about wide enough for someone to lay on. It was pretty clear that Selina and Wayne had done things there before, because she knew where everything was. She went straight to a box in the back of the shed and dug out a blanket. She spread it over the bench. While she was doing that, Wayne locked the door from the inside. Then he told me to keep a watch out of the window to see if anyone was coming.
"I tried to keep watch, but when he and Selina got to doing things, I couldn't keep my eyes off of them!"
"How did they begin?" I questioned, and Lola spared no details.
"She just pulled up her dress, and then she got onto the bench!" Lola said. "Her rump was on the edge of one end, and her legs were hanging open. You could see everything she had. She was wet, even before he fingered her. He dropped his trousers and I got the full look at his organ. He was stiff as a board. All he had on his top was a T-shirt.
"Selina told him to come on and do it to her. She didn't have to tell him but once. He started out by jiggling her with his fingers. He used two of them on her. He didn't do that but a minute or two though. Then he got right between her legs. When he went into her, I thought she was going to cry. Her face took on a look of pain, but then her bottom started moving. He was going in and out of her so fast, I felt like they might break the bench! He reminded me of Earl, except he was clean, and Earl had been dirty. When he brought Selina to a climax, she cried out to him!"
"Oh Wayne!" Selina had begged, "faster, deeper!"
"Wayne didn't say anything!" said Lola, "he just kept up his pumping. Boy, but Selina was doing some moaning!"
"Now, Wayne!" Selina had groaned. "Now! Now, stop doing it! Put it in deep and just hold it there! Ooooh! Ooooh! Mmmmmm!"
"Then she really got it!" Lola told me. "She locked her legs around him, and she held him there. I thought she had passed out, but in another few seconds, I could see that she was all right!"
Q. What happened then? Had Wayne reached a climax-an ejaculation?
A. No, he hadn't reached his yet. He told Selina to let him loose, and to set up on the bench.
"No," Selina had begged, but Wayne was adamant in his desires.
"Sit up!" he had commanded Selina, and she had done so, but according to Lola, she had done so reluctantly.
"Not yet, Wayne!" Selina had pleaded, as she unlocked her legs. "I don't want to do that right now!"
"But you're going to!" Wayne had told her, as he grabbed her by her shoulders and forced her upward to a sitting position.
Then, Lola told me that she had watched her friend perform fellatio on Wayne, taking all of his semen into her mouth.
"I thought I had seen a lot of things!" Lola said, "but Selina, once she got started couldn't get enough of his thing. As she sucked on his penis, one of her hands was busy playing with his sack, and the other one was jiggling his thing. When he got his load off, I could see Selina's neck muscles move as she took all of his juice-as she swallowed rapidly!"
"Then she actually swallowed his ejaculation of semen?"
"Oh, God, yes!" replied Lola, her face telling me more than her voice. I could well see that she was going through the episode mentally, remembering all of the sexual details.
"I got so hot!" continued Lola, "that I had to put my hand onto my own thing. I was all gummy, gooey and wet. I wanted something, but I wasn't about to let him put his thing into me!"
Q. What did happen?
A. After he got off his load, he had to sit down for a minute.
Q. What was Selina doing during that time?
A. She was sitting on the bench with her legs spread. She had this real dreamy look on her face. Then she looked at me. She asked me if I wanted to try some of it. I told her that I was afraid to do it. She laughed, and the boy laughed too! I didn't like that one bit. I never have liked being made a fool of!
Q. What did you do?
A. I told her that I would do anything she had done, but that I wouldn't let him put his thing into me! When I told them that, Wayne told me to come over to him. I did, and he opened up his legs to my hand. Selina was watching all the time!
Q. You took his organ into your hand?
A. Yes. It was soft when I first got hold of it, but then, as I pulled on it, I could feel it getting hot again, and I started thinking about Eric!
Then Lola told me that Selina had begun talking.
"Put your mouth on it!" Selina had told Lola. "Its really a yummy when you do that. Don't be bashful, go ahead!"
And as Selina had told Lola that deviate statement, she had gotten off of the bench and moved to a position behind the girl.
"I didn't really want to put his thing into my mouth," Lola said, "But she raised my skirt up from the rear, and she started doing those things to me that she knew would wind me up!"
Q. You mean the fondling of your genitals-your rear?
A. Yes. She can wind me up like a spring when she puts one finger into my thing, and another into my rear. But that's not what she did then!"
I questioned Lola about what the girl had done. She flushed again, but she told me of the incident. In fact, she spared nothing to the imagination !
"She got onto her knees-she got right down behind me," Lola said. "Then I felt her kissing me all over my legs-all up my thighs-and into my fanny. When she spread the cheeks of my rear and put her tongue to me, I couldn't help but to put my mouth to Wayne's thing!"
Q. Then you did actually perform fellatio on the boy?
A. If that's the sucking bit, I did!
Lola told me that she was frantic with excitement when she finally found the youth's penis in her mouth.
"I wouldn't have thought I would have enjoyed that!" she said to me, "but with Selina doing all of that kissing to my parts, and his thing coming up in my mouth, I got real messed up! All I could think of was sucking on his thing, and the feeling of wetness that I was getting all down between my legs. I could feel his thing starting to throb, and I tried to think of Eric, but then I didn't think of anything except what I was doing. My mind was in a whirl. I felt faint. I felt dizzy. And then I felt his thing explode into my mouth. I nearly died. I gagged a little, and I tried to move my mouth off of his thing, but he held my head so that I couldn't get my face away from him!"
"Then you took his ejaculation orally?"
"There was nothing else I could have done!" Lola said. "I couldn't free myself, but then I got to like what I was doing. I reached my hands to his sack-you know, his nuts-his balls, and I started pulling on them. I remembered how Selina had done it to him, and I tried to do just like she had done. You should have heard him grunt. I felt powerful as I made him moan!"
As Lola told me about the scene, once again, I could visualize what had taken place in the tool shed. She told me that she thought she brought the youth to a better climax than had Selina.
"I know I did that!" she said. "I know it from the things that he gurgled out. I know it from the way his body got all stiff and tight!"
Evidently, she had done what she said, for according to her, the youth kept up his moans of delight.
"Oh!" he had cried out to her. "Oooooh!" She had heard him say, in conjunction with the mmmmm's of Selina's sexy licking!
"Now!" she had heard him add, "suck me harder. Play with my balls! That's it! That's it!"
After that day, Lola told me that she definitely made up her mind to have heterosexual intercourse, and she decided to have it with Eric.
CHAPTER FIVE
LOLA AND ERIC
It took Lola, according to her, almost another six months to interest Eric in intercourse. He was some four years older than her, and according to her, she was close to the age of fourteen. At the time of our interviews, she was between fourteen and fifteen, and she was, as previously mentioned, a few months pregnant.
"After that day we had seen Eric doing things to himself, I couldn't get the picture of his thing out of my mind!" she said, "And in addition, I couldn't get the thought of the thing I had done to Wayne out of my mind!"
"You mean the session of fellatio? Is that right?"
"Yes," she said. "I really liked the feeling of his thing coming up into my mouth, and the way his thing got stiff-all throbbing, and all that sort of stuff!"
She shifted in the chair, and I could well see her consternation over her own words. She continued :
"It was all my fault. Eric didn't do the seducing. I guess if anyone did it, I did."
Q. You mean that Eric didn't make the first overture-that you made it!
A. That's right! I'm the one in the woodpile. He didn't have to turn his back on me the way he did though.
Q. You mean when he refused to admit to his part of the parenthood?
A. That's exactly what I mean! That's exactly what I mean! He didn't have to have all of his friends gang up on me. He didn't have to have Selina think I was a little whore! Oh hell, this is the most terrible time of my life!
I saw the terrible turmoil that the child was enduring. All a person can do, many times, is to listen. I listened as she continued. She told me about the way in which she got into her relationship with Eric.
"After that day when I did the things to Wayne," she said, "I couldn't get the thought of doing things to Eric off of my mind! I went into a concentrated plan. He treated me like a kid, but I wasn't any kind of a kid! No I wasn't. I was matured. I mean I was really a good looking thing. I was as mature then as I am now"
As I gazed upon her mature-her physically mature-figure, I could well understand how she could have induced Eric into an act of sex.
Accordingly, Lola set out on a plan of seduction. The first thing that she did was to begin coming to Selina's house scantily dressed.
She positioned herself so that Eric could see more than modesty permitted.
"I wore the closest fitting things that I could wear," she said. "I wore flimsy things-things that would show me off!"
Q. You mean show off your physical charms ? A. Yeah!
"I wore the kind of things that would really let him know what he was missing if he didn't try for it!" she said, and I could see that her plan had been well devised, for as she told me about it, she had done everything in her power to entice Eric into intercourse!
"Finally, one afternoon he started noticing me," she continued. "I could tell he was becoming interested. By that time, Selina and I had no secrets, so I told her about wanting to do it with a boy--I mean go the whole way. She told me we would go over to Wayne's, that he had been wanting to do it to me for a long time. I told her that I didn't want to do it with Wayne. She asked me who, and I told her right off that I wanted to do it with Eric. She began laughing about that. I don't know why, but then she got mad at me!"
Q. What did she get angry about? Did she get angry about your wanting to have intercourse with her brother?
A. No; but she sure got mad when I told her that I was in love with him!
Q. Why do you suppose that happened?
A. I don't know. But, boy, did she ever. She got all red in the face She told me it was all right to do things with a boy. She said she didn't mind that, but I should only love her. She got so mad that she would hardly speak to me for days, and all that time, I was wanting to go to her house so that I could get to see Eric!
"But you and Selina did make up, however?"
"Yes," nodded Lola, "but it would probably have been better off if we had stayed on the outs! I might not have ended up like this!" Then Lola pointed to her rounding abdomen. "I don't know, though," she added, "I was so determined to do something with Eric that nothing could have stopped me!"
Q. How did it actually take place?
A. I went to Selina's house one afternoon, but she wasn't home. The maid was off; the mother and father were out, but Eric answered the door. He must have been doing something to himself, because his thing was bulging out against his bermudas. I decided to go all the way with him! I knew I looked good to him from the way his eyes glittered when he saw me in a pair of tight shorts. They were orange, and they were really tight. I had on a bra, but I knew he was sizing up my breasts through the stripes of my tight-fitting T-shirt!
Q. What happened, Lola? Now you must tell me all about this session-the first time you did things with Eric.
A. I will, she said. I'll tell you everything about it!
And, with a candor, a frankness belying her age, Lola did tell me!
As she had stood in the door, and had seen the erection of Eric's organ pressing outward against his fly of his Bermudas, she became highly aroused. Her breath came fast, and her breasts heaved against the tightness of her brassiere.
"I got so hot I could hardly stand there!" she stated to me frankly. "I know that I could feel myself getting red in the face, and wet in the crotch. I guess Eric sensed what was going on, because he told me to come into the house. He said he wanted to talk to me about something! That's really some kind of a line isn't it!"
I had to admit to myself that his approach was less than that of a Don Juan, but it appeared to me that Lola was going to make a move if he did not. She continued to tell me of the first insertion into her parts by a male organ.
"When we got into the house, he didn't seem as courageous as before!" she said. "So I took the lead!"
Q. You mean he didn't seem to want you then?
A. No, not exactly that. It was more like he was afraid to try anything with me. He was a lot older than me, you know!
Once in the house (again according to her confession), she acted much more the seductress than one could have expected for a girl of her years. The pair had seated themselves on the sofa. She said that Eric could not seem to find any words, but that the bulge in his shorts had grown.
"I asked him what he wanted to talk about," Lola said. "But he stuttered and stammered until I asked him what was the matter!"
"It's nothing," Eric had said, "I think I have to get something at the store. He acted like he was going to leave the room .
Lola told me that she was having none of that, though. She stated that she reached out and touched him on the leg.
"He looked so startled, I thought he might get his rocks off right on the spot," she said. "I didn't stop though, I moved my hand to his bulge. That's when he pulled me to him and kissed me. I had been kissed before, but it was always a little disappointing. Most of the boys that I went with didn't seem to want to kiss. All they wanted to do was to put their fingers into my thing!"
Q. You say you allowed that sort of thing frequently ?
A. Yes, but I always thought about Eric when they were doing it, or when I was doing things to myself. I even tried Mother's little thing (artificial penis) once, but I couldn't get it in. I was thinking about Eric when I tried, though. I got the big one into Selina, though!
Q. You mean that this girl of your age was able to accommodate such a thing?
A. Yes, she was able to take the roundness of it, but she couldn't take all of its length. She says she wants to try again, but we haven't been able to get the thing since.
Then Lola filled me in on her session with Eric-her first session. I tried to keep her onto the subject of Selina, but she seemed to want to tell me about Eric. I had no choice but to listen, and only occasionally to question.
She was firmly intent on telling me about the manner in which she had been kissed.
"When he pulled me to his lips," she said, "I thought I would die, because I felt his teeth against mine. It was a rough kiss, but it was tender too. His tongue came into my mouth, and he sure knew how to use his hands on my chest!"
"Mmmmm!" Eric groaned, as his mouth parted from Lola's, and as his hands had pressed against her heaving breasts. "Why haven't we done this before?"
Then Lola told me that she felt his hands moving down to her thighs-the crotch of her short shorts.
"My mind was nothing but an explosion!" she said to me, as she progressed through her sensual story. "When I felt his hands on my tummy, I kissed him again, and at the same time, I unzipped his bermudas. I thought his organ was going to break loose from his stomach, It really popped out of its pocket!
"I stroked it a little, and then he asked me if I would let him have some!
"Let him have some! If he hadn't done something to me, I would have tried to rape him!"
She continued her salacious tale by telling me that the pair of them had retired to Eric's bedroom, and there they had stripped, each helping to disrobe the other, their hands roaming over each other's bodies like tentacles of torridness.
As Eric had worked upon her struggling body, he had talked to her-his voice hoarse with passion, and his hands trembling from the heat of her sexual appetite.
"Where have you been, little girl!" he had cried out to her. "Where have you been? Good, God, but this is something! Have you ever had it before?"
As he had talked to her, she felt his fingers fondling her parts, and then she answered him, by telling him that she had saved herself for him.
"I guess he thought I was lying," said Lola, "because he laughed when his finger went in so easy. I know that he thought I was telling him a lie! Once he tried to get his big thing into me, though, he found out I wasn't telling a lie!"
Q. You mean that you found that first penetration uncomfortable?
A. Yes. I thought he was going to split me apart. I hadn't been able to take anything into me but a finger before. I must not have been stretched enough, because I bled a lot. He didn't like that much, but he didn't get mad about our mussing up the bed. We took the sheets down to the laundry room, washed them in cold water, dried them, and had them back on the bed before Selina got home!
Q. Want to tell me all about the scene?
A. Yes. But you'll have to get me a drink of water, I feel a little dizzy!
This dizziness she was referring to was not a result of her pregnancy, but a result of the total anxiety the child was going through. I went to the water cooler, brought her back a cup of water, and in a few moments, she was able to continue with her story-the beginning of her total violation-her pregnancy, and her sexual sessions with Eric.
"You want me to tell you about that first day?" she questioned, and I nodded. I remained as stoic an image of objectivity as I could manage. She continued, but her eyes clouded with the tears of self-pity for several sentences. Again, though, she managed to get hold of herself!
"Once we got stripped off, I knew what to do!" she confessed, her rounding body shaking with emotions that could hardly have been stopped. "Heck, I had seen Selina and Wayne do it enough. I got onto the bed, and opened my legs. I did it like I had seen Mother do it."
Q. How was that?
A. I raised up my knees, and opened my legs. I wasn't lying flat with my legs hanging off of the bed like Selina's had hung off the end of the bench. Oh hell!
"Lola's not a good girl," Lola added a bit facetiously. "No, she's not good at all. I should have my fanny whipped for the things that we did. I must have gotten pregnant that very day. I must have conceived that very first time. I didn't know all about that fourteen day stuff, and that period after menstruation when a girl can get pregnant. That's why I blame my mother. Hell, I am about to blame everybody for not telling me things!" Then she laughed. "I think this is not my world," she added with a smirk. "Here I am about to have a kid that I don't want, and there's Eric-Selina-there are all of them living high and imagine, and all of it is at my cost!"
I finally managed to get her back onto the subject, and I found her testimony enlightening about technique-even if I didn't find it psychologically revealing!
"Eric's hands were all over me!" she confessed, "and I was reaching for his thing. I loved to feel of its length-the soft feeling of the skin on it. I was in heaven. I could feel the pounding of my heart beneath his hands as he massaged me on my breasts!
"Then his handsome body was on top of me. I could feel his full weight pressing me down on the bed!"
"Are you ready?" Eric had groaned to her, his voice coarse, gurgling.
"I told him that I was!" Lola said. "I told him that I was willing to try anything. I also told him that I loved him!"
Then Lola had positioned his penis into the parting lips of her pussy, and she felt his first lunge of insertion.
"Does that hurt?" he had asked her. She told him that it did, but he was beyond control at that point, as so many fledglings of sex are.
"He pierced me like a spear!" Lola said. "He really drove that thing into me. I could feel him all the way up into my thing! His breath was faster than I had dreamed anyone could breathe, and I felt him hit that point of me that was all throbbing. What do you call it. I think it's the cervix? Is that right?"
I agreed with the girl that he must have been touching the mouth of the womb, and then she seemed proud of her knowledge.
"Hell!" she said, "I wouldn't even have known about that part of me if I hadn't have gone to the library. My mother never would tell me anything. The bitch! I think of her as a witch. I really think that I hate her ass!"
She was becoming profane and tenuous in her word usage. She seemed to adhere to the thought that her profanity would in some way place guilt onto the others that had put her into her degraded condition! She continued, and I was amazed at the sordid story that she rendered!
"Once he was into me, he began jigging like crazy!" she told me. "He really got with it, and I loved him for the way he was making me feel. You have no idea how a girl feels when she is getting it all."
Q. 'Getting it all?'
A. Yeah, getting the man she loves all the way into her-feeling his jerking-feeling the juice get into her thing-feeling the wetness flow out of her onto him! I'm telling you that is something else! I love all of it that Eric gave me!
" 'I love you'! " she told me she had screamed to Eric. " 'I love you'! " and, as he had continued to pummel her parts with his penis, she had become more amorous of his being.
"I love you!" she had repeated to him again, but he was reticent about her words of endearment toward him.
"Don't tell me that!" he had told her, as he plunged deeper and deeper into her vaginal depths.
"All I want is this!" Then he brought her to glory by pounding further into her parts!
"I hated the way he was telling me not to tell him that I loved him!" Lola said, "but I couldn't help feeling the contentment of him in me!
"I felt all of myself coming out of me. I felt the juices of me going all down my legs, and I felt his spurts of sex coming into me! I passed out. I must have, because the rest of things are hazy to me. All I remember is that when I came back to my senses, I was sore, and Eric had put on his clothes. I felt his hands on me. That's what woke me up. I guess that's what woke me up. I wanted him to kiss me, but he told me we hadn't much time, and that we had to wash the sheets. That's when I saw the blood all over everything! I felt cheated. I really felt cheated, but not as much as I feel cheated now. Not as much as I feel cheated by what he has done me!"
Q. You mean about the way he has seemed to turn his back upon you in this situation of your pregnancy?
A. That's right. But I'd still love him in spite of what he has done to me. I didn't have to do things with him, you know!
Though agreeing with the girl, I once again remained silent. I let her continue to tell me of her relationship with Eric, the father of her unborn child.
Lola went on to tell me of her next encounter with Eric, but not before she told me of her feelings when he had refused her a lingering kiss after their bout of sex.
"I felt bad about it!" she told me. "There I was stripped, bloody, and had it done to me. I wanted him next to me. He wouldn't come through. He looked afraid of me then. I thought about some things then, but the sight of him standing there telling me we had to get things done was enough to make me get up!"
Q. You felt rejected then? A. Very much so! I felt like a fool, but I still did what he said to do!
Q. What did he say to do?
A. He told me to get up-to help him clean up the mess we had made! I didn't want to do it, but then I knew that we had to somehow clean up. I didn't want anyone to find out about us.
They took the sheets downstairs, washed them, and then dried them. They made up the bed, and then Lola left.
"Before I left, I told Eric that I still loved him," she said, and I could see the despair in her eyes-despair that told me her problem had a series of symptoms. I knew that her main problem was not one of having the illegitimate child, but the one of losing the love of someone. I learned more about her problem later when I talked to her mother, and to the girl-the seducer named Selina.
Lola asked me for another glass of water, complaining of dizziness again. Then after gulping it in two swallows, she said that she couldn't go on.
She left my office.
It was another day before I saw her, but she seemed intent on seeing me before our weekly scheduled appointments. I could not refuse to see her.
When she entered my office that last time, she was radiant. She told me that she had seen Eric, and that both he and his parents had agreed that the children should get married.
Though I did not agree to this, there was little I could do about it! I listened as she told me of her further misadventures.
"Where were we?" she questioned of me again, as she had so many times in the past. "Where were we? I'm so happy. I have so much to tell you. Never mind where we were. Let me tell you about what has happened, and then I'll tell you about what else Eric and I did!"
I could see that the child was in a much better frame of mind-an attitude of positiveness rather than an attitude of bitterness. I listened to her pleasant voice as she told me of her future plans.
"Eric and I are going to be married!" she expounded, and I doubted about that, but she continued to tell me of their forthcoming nuptials!
"Eric's parents have agreed that we should be married," she said, and I could not but help to wonder about their motives, since Eric had blasphemously testified against my patient. He had brought at least a dozen boys into the court to tell of their relations with the girl. I wondered.
"I don't care what he did in the past," she amplified. "The only thing I care about is the way he has done things today."
"Today?" I questioned.
"Yes," she stated, "today, I mean today. He told me that he would love me, honor and cherish me all the days of his life! He told me about how he had mistreated me. He told me that he was sorry for the things that he had done. He told me that he was sorry for bringing the other boys to the courtroom. He told me that he loved me for my mind as well as the way I gave him sex--you know-my thing."
I watched the girl going through the turmoil she had built for herself, and I couldn't help but wonder why. I thought of one answer though, and that answer was better education-not just sex but the things that dealt with the psychology of sex.
Then Lola continued to tell me about the things she had done with Eric.
"I did all kinds of things with him," she said, "But it looks like it was all worth it now. He said he was going to marry me, and that will make things all right."
Sometimes wonderment can come from the inked name on a marriage license. Sometimes one can wonder if the paper makes the marriage true, or if the marriage makes the paper true. In this profession, this business of psychology, sometimes wonderment is closer to the truth than is the truth itself!
Lola continued:
"Eric and I continued to do things for months," she said. "But during that time, I mentioned to him, that I was missing my things. You know, my menstrual periods. He laughed-told me not to worry-to go home, take a douche, a nap, and a hot bath. I loved him so much, I would have done anything he told me to do!"
"How many periods did you miss before you finally concluded that you were pregnant?"
"Three," she said. "I missed three. Then one day, I had to tell Eric about the kicking-I think you people call it the quicking?"
What she was speaking about was a lay term--a thing called the quickening, not the "quicking." This is the term referred to when the living fetus finds the mechanism of movement. Lola continued:
"That day I told him about me being pregnant," she said. "He kind of acted like I was something to be put aside. He still wanted to take me though!"
Q. You mean he wanted to have sexual intercourse with you?
A. No, that's not what he wanted!
Q. What did he want?
A. You mean you want me to tell you about the things that he asked me to do?
"Yes," I replied, and I saw her face screw up into a mask of pain--mental pain-indecision and the striving for words that would not come easily!
Again, however, she continued to tell me about the torrid tale of Eric.
"He wanted to do other things to me!" she said, and I questioned her about the other things and she replied to me with an honesty that I found hard to believe.
"We were in his car when I told him about what I thought about being pregnant," she said. "I had never done anything with him except regular sex up till that time. I had felt like doing other things, but he had never asked me to do anything except, you know, go to bed, and I hadn't gotten up the nerve to ask for anything else!"
Q. I thought you told me that you had done all kinds of things with him!
A. I have, but I hadn't done anything but go to bed with him till that day.
Q. What happened on that day-the day you told him that you suspected you were pregnant?
"The first thing that happened was that he got sort of angry," said Lola. "That's when he told me to take a douche, a nap, and all that other stuff. I thought he was going to stop the car, and put me out. But instead, he drove to a place where we had made love before.
"I asked him what he planned to do about my
MM situation. He told me that since I thought I was pregnant, he would do something to me anyway. He said something about me not having anything to lose."
"I'll see that you don't get hurt," Eric had told her, as he unzipped his trousers. He exposed his organ to her, and then he asked her another question. "Have you ever sucked on a dick before?"
"No," she had lied to him.
"Well, you're going to suck on one now!" he told her, and pulled her face down to his stiffening penis. "Put it in your mouth!"
"I tried to act like I didn't want to do that." Lola told me, "but actually, I really wanted to do it-to taste of him, and after he had told me he would take care of me, I felt a lot easier about things."
"Then you committed the act of fellatio on Eric?"
"Yes," she said. "I didn't do it the right way at first, because I didn't want him to know-I don't ever want him to know about my doing that same thing to Wayne. Once I got going though--once I began hearing his sighs of pleasure, I found myself highly aroused-really excited!
"I reached my hand up to his belt. I undid it, and then I unsnapped his trousers and his shorts. I made him raise up his rear, and I pulled his pants down to his knees. He was completely open to me. The steering wheel was in the way. It was hurting the back of my head, and besides that, I was sideways in the seat. I couldn't get my hands to him very easy. I asked him to take off his pants-take them all the way off. He did that, and then I asked him to sit with his legs hanging out of the door. I got out of the car, walked to the other side. I got onto my knees. I was right between his legs, and I could do all sorts of things to him!"
"You weren't fearful of detection by some passer-by?"
"No, not in that spot," she told me. "We had been using it a long time, and no one had ever come up onto us. I really loved him good down there!"
Q. What did you do?
A. I started my session with him by putting my hand under his testicles. I squeezed him on the back of his sack. When I did that, his thing got so stiff, I knew that he was going to come real quick. I got right to the business of sucking on him. At the same time, I used my hands to give him more excitement. When he came, his spurts were like little cannon balls hitting me in the roof of my mouth and my throat.
But after Lola had brought Eric to a climax she felt cheated. He had no other thought of sex on his mind. He jerked his trousers up, buckled his belt, and told her to get into the car.
"He took me straight home!" Lola said. "I could have died. I wanted something done to me, and he treated me like an old shoe after I had finished him off. I cried almost all the way home, but he got real gruff with me. He told me if I didn't stop crying, he was going to put me out on the road. I snuffed back my tears, and nothing more was said, not a word, not all the way home. I had lost every hope I had by the time we were in front of my house, even my sexual excitement had dwindled down to nothing. I went in, but I was terribly sad. Eric didn't even bothered to open the door for me."
Lola told me that she had gone directly to her room. She had tried to sleep, but sleep would not come with its natural escape. She stated that as she had tossed fitfully on her bed that she had dreamed of Eric, and where her face touched his body in her dream love session-everywhere her lips searched for his, she found a penis.
"I've had some weird dreams," she said to me. "But that is the most weird one I ever had. It was completely crazy! I dreamed that Eric and I had gone to a drive-in movie, and we had started fooling around. You know petting, kissing, and things like that."
I listened very intently as she continued to tell me of her symbolic dream. It was becoming more and more obvious that the trauma she was experiencing was causing her great emotional distress.
"I remember that dream as plain as day," she said, her face becoming serious, pensive. "I don't think I could ever forget it!"
Q. Was this at night, or in the day? What time was it?
A. Who knows the time of a dream? It had to be around three, though, because I woke up between three thirty and four in the afternoon. I was having hot flashes, and I was all gooey and wet. I thought I might have started having a period, but when I checked myself, I found that I was just gooey from the heat of that dream. I was still excited and aroused.
Q. Would you tell me more about the dream ?
A. We were in this drive-in movie. We were kissing and all of that, but then his head turned into a giant penis. I tried to find his lips, but they were a penis also. Then I reached to where his penis should have been. When my hand got between his thighs, instead of a penis, there was a mouth! I bent to kiss him there, for that's where his mouth was. Honestly that was some other kind of a dream. I was wild to kiss him, but when I got my face to the lips between his legs, I didn't have a mouth. Where my mouth had been, I had a, had a..."Yes," I prodded the child. "Please go on!" She again fought for words.
"Where my mouth should have been," she said, "I found it had changed to a set of female genitals!"
"You mean the entire vulva?"
Lola became angry. "If you mean my mouth had changed to a pussy, then you're right. I get mad at you sometimes. I really do. You prod me, you question me too much. Let me alone, and I'll tell you about it. I'm too happy today to have you spoil it with your damned therapy."
I relinquished the conversation to her, rewound my tape machine, and allowed her to continue with her tale of dream loving.
"I want some water," she said.
I gave her a cup of water, which she gulped, and then she told me something most revealing.
"When I found that my mouth had changed to a set of organs, I became frantic!" she said. "I don't know if you've ever had a real vivid dream, but I was so frantic that it all seemed real to me.
"Anyway, I got panicky, and I called out to Eric! I asked him what was happening. The mouth between his thighs answered. It told me that it didn't know what was happening, but that it didn't want me to kiss it with that thing where my lips were suppose do be!
"I began crying, and I was also talking from between my legs. It was like everything was reversed. We flipped about in the seat of the car. We put our crotches together, and we kissed that way! I still don't understand it, but I was so hot when I woke up, I was wetting the bed.
Of course, the dream was highly symbolic--the reversal of sexual parts. This is the classical dream of the oral extremists. This type of dream represents the subconscious function of the libido as it strives for sexual gratification orally rather than heterosexuality. I listened with more attention as Lola continued to tell of the experiences that led to her predicament.
"I had to do something, I knew it!" she declared to me. "I knew that if I didn't, I would go wild with desire. I guess I might have actually gone out to the street, but then I thought of Mother's things. I covered up the wet spot on my bed, and called her. She didn't answer. I walked through the house to make sure she wasn't around. I got real happy when I found a note from her saying that she and Daddy had gone out to a movie. They had just left, so I knew I would have time to do something with her thing before they got back!"
Q. You mean the artificial penis that she had?
A. Yes, I wanted to see if I couldn't get the big one into me. I had tried before, as I told you, but I couldn't manage either of them. I figured, though, that Eric had stretched me so that I might be able to use one of them. His wasn't as big as the other one, but his was bigger than the little one. I went to Mother's room, and found them. I found her jelly too. I also found something else.
"What was that?" I questioned.
"I know you won't believe this," said Lola, "but it was an artificial thing. You know, an artificial-an artificial pussy!
"It was built into a pair of panties that a woman can put on. I guess a man could too. I read the pamphlet that came with it! I guess that Mother bought it out of curiosity, because I could tell that it hadn't been used. If it had been used, she had really cleaned it good!"
Q. Describe this thing for me if you will.
A. Well, to start with, the thing was as expensive as heck. I think it cost twenty-seven dollars. It was marked as the deluxe model. It even had a fuzzy thatch of hair around the opening. There was a long rubber tube hooked to the back of the pair of panties that it was in, and a bulb on the end of the tube!
The directions said that by squeezing the bulb that the thing would stimulate the contractions of a female's vagina in the act of intercourse. I put the thing on. I did it out of curiosity. That hole was right above where mine would have been.
I composed the girl by assuring her of my scientific interest in the mechanism that she was describing-the contrivance of either a genius or a quack. She went on to describe the thing to me.
"As I told you," she told me, "the thing was just like a woman's thing, except it was fitted into a pair of panties, and had a long tube hooked to the back of the panties, and bulb on the end of the tube. I squeezed the bulb after I got the thing on, and the organ part of it flared up into a thing that was exactly like a woman's genitals. I got fascinated by the thing. I found some special jelly in a little box. Actually it was in a tube in a little box. It was made especially for that rig. I decided to try the thing out. I was getting more curious all the time, and the excitement of the discovery of that thing had caused me to kind of relax. I was thinking about sex, but I was more interested than aroused. There's nothing like thinking about something to keep you from thinking about sex!"
"What did you do?" I questioned the girl. "Well," she said to me, "I squirted some of that juice up into the opening of the thing. Then I put in the big penis that Mother used on herself. I found that by squeezing the bulb, I could keep it in so tight that I couldn't pull it out. I was having a good time, but just when I got things going good the bell at our front door started ringing. Boy, that was some time for a bell to ring wasn't it!"
I had to admit that she was in a precarious position at that moment; dressed as she was in an artificial vagina, and an artificial penis. She was actually getting a measure of enjoyment out of the remembrance of the occasion. Her voice carried a tone of mirth as she continued to tell me what had happened.
"Well," she said again, "I didn't want to go to the door, but the bell was ringing furiously. I knew that the caller, whoever it was, was not going to go away. I tucked the tube and bulb up the backsides of my panties, and secured it in the top of them. Now, that's the panties of the thing, not my own. I didn't have anything on except my bra, and my dress. I took out the big penis, and I went to the door. Of all things, the person I was looking at when I opened the door was Eric. I didn't know what to say to him. He said that he had come to apologize to me for the way he had acted."
"I'm sorry," Eric had said to his teen-age temptress, "I'm really sorry for acting the way I did. Can I come in?"
"I didn't know what to do," said Lola. "There I was with that contraption strapped onto me, and then about that time, I heard a car door slam. I looked past Eric and I could see Selina coming up the walk. I could have fainted on the spot!"
I could imagine how she must have felt. Before I could voice a question, she continued. As usual, when she was wanting to tell something, she spoke rapidly, and with a frankness that I still cannot forget.
"I wanted to run," Lola said, "but there was nothing to do but to invite them in. I thought the best thing to do would be to take a seat as quickly as possible. But, about that time, the tube got loose from the top of the panties, and there I stood before the both of them with that bulb between my feet! I know my face was terribly red. I didn't want them to know about Mother. It was too late to do anything then, though."
"What happened?" I questioned, as I had so many times before. I got an answer that was both humorous as well as saddening.
She told me that both Eric and Selina had looked at the bulb that was dangling from her panties. She had seen a smile cross Selina's face, but Eric had looked surprised.
"What in the world?" he had questioned Lola. "What in the world is that!"
"I didn't know what to say!" Lola said, "but it wouldn't have mattered anyway. Eric closed the door, and he told me that he would see for himself. Honestly, I could have dropped dead on the spot!"
Eric had left nothing to his imagination. He had abruptly raised her dress.
"I was so shocked I could have fainted," Lola said. "I wouldn't have minded if Selina had known, but I didn't think it was right for Eric to have done that!"
"Good God!" he had exclaimed to her when he saw the hair blooming from the artificial genitals. "My God, what is that?"
"I just didn't know what to say! Honestly, I was so sick at having been caught in that situation.
Perhaps she should have become ill enough to have avoided the orgy that followed. An orgy that I learned about from both Lola and Selina.
Lola's version of the episode was basically the same as Selina's, but in the interest of explaining Selina's character to the reader, in the following chapter we shall look at her, and we shall attempt, I pray, to understand, and not so much to judge!
CHAPTER SIX
SELINA, THE SEXY SEDUCTRESS
My first meeting with Selina was informative as well as exciting and interesting. I found her to be as attractive in person as she was in the photograph that Lola had showed to me.
At her tender age of between fourteen and fifteen, I found her to be physically mature, though
I did find the seeds of sexual aberration within her mind.
She seated herself into the chair, and I could see the straining of her figure-a figure already mature-the figure of a woman, not the figure of a child. She talked.
"I wouldn't have come here," she said, "but I like Lola. That bastard of a brother of mine has frigged her to death. I don't care what he has told her, he has no intention of doing anything about the way he has got her into!"
"You mean her state of pregnancy?" I queried.
"Yes," she sneered. "That bastard is no good!"
I was surprised that she had such knowledge of the vernacular of the profane, but I learned that that message was only the beginning of her vocabulary. She could curse worse than the proverbial drunken sailor.
"It's a wonder the son-of-a-bitch hadn't gotten me pregnant by now!"
Q. You've had relations with him?"
A. Yeah, but I was forced into that! I don't have to go around hunting sex. I have enough takers as it is. I don't like the idea of doing things with Eric, but I can blame Lola for that. If it hadn't been for her doing that bit with the bulb, I wouldn't have ever done things with Eric.
I tried to hold myself in check, and I made no mention of the fact that Lola had told me about the artificial vagina, and the contrivance of the bulb. I posed a question to Selina, and as she answered, I could see that she was about as bitter about things as was Lola!
"What did happen that day?" I asked, and I got an answer more frank-more candid-than any I had gotten from Lola!
Selina twisted her body in the chair. She twisted it in a teasing manner, but then she commenced telling me about the sessions of sex that were to lead Lola to eventual degradation, violation, and "perdition."
"Well," Selina said, as so many teen-agers will say, "I went over there to her house with Eric, because he asked me to go. Otherwise, I wouldn't have gone, because I didn't want to get caught in the middle of things. And, besides that, I'm in love with Lola. I don't like the idea of her doing things with a man. I don't like it one little bit. I just don't like it. I'm not a queer either, I'm just different. Is it wrong to get your kicks-to be able to get your climax with a woman better than a man ? I do it better that way. I can get it better when a boy puts his mouth to my thing even better when he sticks his penis into me. I've had it both ways, but I like the mouth bit better!"
There was little doubt about that, and as she continued I could see the lesbianism taint flourishing in the girl's mind-this girl who was made for sex-heterosexual intercourse-and who had flaunted it in favor of homosexual relationships.
She continued to tell me about the day of the artificial vagina-the artificial penis-and the session of torrid tests that the three of them attempted.
"When I saw that thing hanging down there between Lola's legs, I laughed!" she said. "There was little else to do. I really got my rocks off. I knew she had been trying something out, but I didn't know what it was!"
Q. How did you know that?
A. I don't know what Lola has told you, but don't think she's any great puritan either. I knew she had been doing something from the way her face looked guilty! Q. You mean you are psychic? "No!" Selina said. "You don't have to be psychic to tell if someone has made herself."
"You mean masturbated?" I asked. "No!" she stated. "It isn't necessarily masturbation, it's a kind of mental and physical thing as well. Do you want me to tell you about this day, or do you want to kill me with a bunch of questions? You make up your mind. I've got a movie to go to, and I don't want to be late. I'm only here because of Lola. You don't interest me one little bit!"
Listening to the salacious lesbian, I could feel her bitterness come forth as sharp as a pointed dagger. I felt that the only thing to do was to hold myself quiet, to let her tell me what she wanted to tell, and to keep my interviewing at a minimum. She continued to tell me of the tale of the artificial organs.
"You should have seen Lola's face," Selina said. "You should have seen that. Her face was as red as a tomato. When that squeeze bag fell out of her skirt, she nearly crapped. Boy wasn't that something!"
She laughed before she went on, but when she did, she went on with the rapid-fire pace of a professional narrator.
"If I thought she was going to crap, you should have seen the look on Eric's face. There he had come to apologize, and there she was with that thing on. Boy that was something when he hiked up the front of her dress and saw the thing she was wearing."
When Eric had seen what Lola had laced to her, his face (according to Selina) had changed color completely, and this is exactly what Lola had told me, also.
"What is that thing!" he asked in an exclamatory voice, he was asking Selina, as well as Lola!
"I didn't know what to say!" Selina told me, "I didn't know exactly what the thing was. I could see that it was something artificial, and I could see that it was a replica of a female's thing, but I still didn't know what was going on. Don't let Lola's mother fool you, though. She's as big a nut as ever came into this world.
"You should have seen that piece of equipment! You should really have seen that thing!"
I stopped Selina for a moment, and I posed a question to her-a question designed to draw her out further-a question designed to get her to tell me more-all of the intricate-the specific details of that day.
Q. What exactly was the thing she was wearing?
A. It looked like she had a pussy outside of her pants!
She laughed heartily, and when asked of her apprehensions, if, indeed, she had any, she went on to tell more about the interesting episode between the three of the people; the two girls; the friends; the sister; her brother; all three of them.
According to Selina (and Lola had told me the same), Eric had raised Lola's dress. He had viewed the artificial vagina with interest.
"He told Lola that he had to have some of that!" Selina said. "He didn't seem to care that I knew it either! I could have killed him for making her do it in front of me! There wasn't any stopping him though! He told her to go the route with him!"
Q. You mean to have intercourse? A. No, he wanted to do it to the thing--that false pussy!
"And?"
"He did it all, and I was amazed!" Selina said. "I was really amazed! That thing is really a contraption. I got aroused, but I also got tickled about the whole thing!"
Selina laughed again, and I prepared myself for another barrage of mirth, hilarity, and though I was not in a hilarious mood, I couldn't help but to be warmed by this luscious lesbian-prone female's humor!
"I'm telling you!" Selina said, "I wouldn't have thought Eric would have done things like that in front of me! It doesn't matter, though, because it was worth it to see him cry out when I squeezed that bulb! That was a damn kick, if I ever had one!"
Selina told me that Eric had taken both girls to the bedroom. Lola, in her love for Eric, had allowed him to fornicate with her in front of Selina. But he didn't want to do it in the natural way, he wanted to use the artificial vagina!
"Lola got onto the bed," Selina said, "but about that time, the phone rang. It was her parents. They said that they were going out on the town! That old lady of hers is a bitch. I mean, that woman is a kook. I mean, she's really a nut. You should have seen Lola, though. There she was trying to talk on the phone, and there was darling Eric looking at the tube that was dangling from her ass! I could have died laughing. But I got to looking at Eric's thing, and for some reason, I got aroused. I decided to go along with the whole thing. I decided to go along with anything that either of them wanted to do."
And according to Selina, the trio did many things that teen-agers are not supposed to do!
"Once Eric knew that Lola's parents wouldn't be back for several hours, he went wild! Selina said. "We went back to the bedroom, and he got onto the bed for the second time. He got buck naked that time, since he knew we weren't going to be disturbed!
"Lola, poor little thing, did exactly what he told her to do.
"She raised her knees, and laid there waiting for him."
I could see genuine love, even if perverted, in the manner of the girl's speech-in her emoting--as she went on. Though I cannot but abhor lesbianism, I could feel some string of sympathy for her. Her spiritual love for Lola was pure, and not tainted by the physical attraction. She continued:
"I'm not anything to talk about when it comes to purity!" Selina said. "But the sight of her lying on that bed, her legs spread, her body covered by that pair of pants with the false thing, was something to make me cry! I actually think I could have killed Eric at that moment!"
Q. Why do you say that? A. I don't like to see a boy making a girl look dirty. Boys are beasts! Q. Why do you say that? A. Well. You know my father has done things to mother-made her do things. Eric has made me do the same things!
Q. Will you tell me about the things that
Eric forced you to do? Will you tell me about the things your father forced your mother to do? A. No.
For the first time, Selina became reticent. She would not talk, and I had to wait a moment while she collected her thoughts that were rambling about in her busy brain. She did continue, however. And when she did, her chatter (that's all one could call it) was most revealing to me.
"I want to tell you about Eric, Lola, and myself. I want to tell you about that day," she said.
"He had her onto the bed," she repeated. "And, the thing that got me was the way he was telling her to do things!"
Q. What was he telling her to do?
A. The first thing he told her was that he was going to make her do some things that she hadn't done before.
"What did he force her to do?" I questioned, and I was informed-belligerently informed-that Eric had not forced Lola to do anything; though that is what I was told by Selina!
"You should have seen the things he did to that poor girl!" exclaimed Selina, her sensuous mouth becoming petulant, even more pouty than petulant.
"He got her opened up to him, and then he dove right into her!"
"Getting even with him?"
"Yeah!" she said with a bitterness that is hard to put into words. "Yeah!" she repeated. "I decided to tear his ass up!"
I questioned the girl about her terminology, for I thought she was speaking of having anal relations with her brother. This was not the case, however, for what she was talking about was hurting her brother. She told me that once he was mounted onto Lola, and into the false vagina-the artificial set of female genitals-Selina became more angry.
As with most true bisexuals-lesbians, they have a fear of losing love-affection. Selina saw the bulb dangling off of the bed.
"I really got to him when I squeezed that thing!" she said, "I really got to the bastard!" She shook her head in disparity. "The son-of-a-bitch says that he is going to marry her. Hell, I know he hasn't any intention of that. He tells her that the folks-my folks-agree that this is the move to make. I can tell you one thing, though!"
"What?" I questioned.
"I got to him with that bulb!"
Q. How did you do that?
A. I waited until he was in the short rows, then I squeezed that bulb, he stopped his frigging jigging!
I questioned the girl about her terminology, and she explained to me that the term, "short rows," mean the time that her brother was reaching his climax-his ejaculation! She went on to tell me that she had heard her mother tell her father that she was in the "short rows," and I learned that this is a rather general term used in the south to explain the act of climactic sexual experience.
She continued:
"I watched him shoving his thing into her pair of panties-into the artificial thing-and then I squeezed the thing."
"The bulb?"
"Yeah!" she said with a mirthful glance, "I just couldn't resist the opportunity to get even with him. I wanted to kill him for forcing Lola to fuck him with that false pair of panties!"
"What happened when you squeezed the bulb?"
Then Selina laughed again. Her laugh that time was more sadistic. "He yelled like hell," she said. "He asked Lola to quit squeezing the bulb. The silly ass didn't know I had hold of the thing. I had jumped up that pussy until he couldn't get his prick out of it. He was yelling, and they looked like a pair of hung-up dogs. I kept pumping, and he kept yelling. Lola kept up trying to tell him that she wasn't doing anything to the bulb!
"I finally let the pressure off, and he was able to get his organ out of her. That is, he was able to get his dong out of that false pussy she was wearing. Boy, was he mad!"
Q. How angry was he? A. He was so angry that he got dressed right away, and we went home!
Q. What happened?
A. It started while we were in the car.
"You little bitch ! " Eric had told his sister. "I've a half a mind to kick the shit out of you. You nearly broke my thing! You no good little bitch!"
"He was so mad!" Selina stated, "I thought he might stop his car, and do what he said about kicking the shit out of me! He didn't, though. He drove all the way home, and every foot of the way, he complained about the thing I had done to him. I didn't really care, because I still had the picture of Lola in my mind. I talked to her later, and she told me that she wasn't satisfied in the least. She told me that after we had left her house that she had had to do things to herself before she could get to sleep. She told me that she had had to do it a long time. That's what's so bad about doing things with a boy or a man. They only think of their own pleasure. They don't give a girl any consideration. When you do things to a man, unless he's a real man--one like Randy-you just don't come-off! At least, I don't like giving and not getting!"
As Selina continued to tell me of the sexual adventure she had with her brother, I was amazed by the manner of her speech-her frankness. She spoke with a candor that was far more suited to a mature person, than for a stripling of her age. It was also obvious that her demeanor reflected her total experience with the rigors of sexual activity!
"Nothing happened in the car!" she said to me. "But when we got home things did!"
Q. What?
A. I thought he might beat me up! I really thought that seriously. When we got to the house, nobody was there. I started to go to my room, but he grabbed me by the arm! He had a mean look in his eyes, and he told me things that I wouldn't, couldn't, have believed. No, that's a lie. I'm ready to believe anything about you maleless bastards. like I told you, I wouldn't even be here except in the defense of my love!
Q. You mean Lola?
A. That's right! I love her. When we're together, we love totally, and we don't have to leave each other unsatisfied!
Selina then went on to tell me about the things that happened between herself and Eric. I thought she might have continued about the relationship between herself and Lola, but she did not. She seemed to wish to elaborate about her deviate brother.
I questioned her about the happenings that took place, and she was more than prolific in her commentary.
"He grabbed me by the arm. He told me I was going to do something with him, and he crushed me to his body," she said.
She told me that Eric had told her that he was not only going to "suck" him. Then he told her that if that didn't suit him, he was going to "fuck her in the ass!" Those words were hers exactly, and with the penchant of profanity laid at my feet, it is necessary to quote directly from her tape!
"That's what he said!" she said to me. "That's what he said!" He pulled me right up against him. I could feel all of the hatred coming out of him; the meanness; the loathing he has for anyone that doesn't do what he wants them to do. He's just like my father. My father never lets anything stand in his path. If he sets his mind to something, he goes right out and gets it. He's like an arrow in flight. My father makes all kind of money. I guess he always will, but he's ruthless ! "
Q. Why do you say that? A. Because it's the truth! Q. Want to explain?
A. No; not really. I'd rather tell you about that bastard of a brother of mine that screwed up my friend!
And, Selina definitely refused to go on, at least, at that point with the story of her father's ruthlessness. She wanted to continue to tell me about her erotic, her sadistic brother!
"That dirty bastard!" she said to me. "That no good dirty bastard! He raised up my skirt, and put his hand to my thing!"
"Did you try to fight him off?"
"Yes," she replied, "but only at first! I guess that's why I'm so mad about the thing. I guess I'm more mad at myself than I am at him. I got to feeling good about the way he was touching me down there! I hate myself as much as I hate him. The dirty no good son-of-a-bitch!"
Selina told me that Eric had continued to "play with her," until she became highly aroused; so aroused, in fact, that when he told her to expose his penis, she did not object in the least.
"Eric had my skirt all the way up!" she declared. "I wasn't wearing any panties. We were still standing, and he had me spread my legs wide apart. His fingers-two of them went right to work on me. I got ready right off, and when he told me to take out his organ, I did. It was the first time I had ever touched his peter. I was surprised by the size of his nuts, but I got a real whang out of playing with him. He didn't want to stay in the living room though. He told me to come with him to his room."
"Come on," he had said to his sister, "Let's go to my room. I told you I was going to give it to you good!"
"He did give it to me good too!" said Selina. "He really gave it to me good! I thought I had had some sex with Randy, and with Wayne, but Eric was worse than anything about the way he did things to me!"
Q. Did it disgust you?
A. No. I mean, he was better at sex than either of them were. He was so good that I nearly went crazy with the excitement of the thing!
Q. Then you enjoyed the sexual experiment with your brother?
A. Oh, hell, yes! But, God, the things he wanted me to do. The things he had me do!
As I watched, the girl continued. Listening to her tale of sex, I became convinced that her story by far surpassed anything that Lola had covered!
"Once we got to the bedroom, he had me to strip off my clothes," Selina said. "He did the same thing. God, but his peter was stiff looking. It was real hard, and some drops of juice were coming out of the end of it. He was watering so much it was dripping off of the end of his peter.
"He told me exactly what I was to do with him. Boy, but that was something!"
Selina said that her brother had seated himself in an armchair, and then he had told her to straddle him, facing him, and to sit squarely onto his penis.
"I had never done it like that before," said Selina. "I didn't realize anything could go into you as deep as his went into me! I mean that in that position, I felt like I was sitting on a hot log!"
Selina admitted to the experience of a bursting climax, and not just a single one, for her brother was a rabid sexual partner!
"Once we got to going, I found myself wanting to kiss him!" Selina said. "I had never wanted to kiss a man before, but I wanted to kiss Eric. I'm telling you, I was hung on his thing! I couldn't help myself. I put my mouth on his. He acted as he might turn from me, but then, I felt his mouth open, and my own opened as well. He kissed me as fiercely, as good as I've ever been kissed. That kiss combined with the way he was throbbing up into me brought me to a spurt of climaxes that made me get more wild than ever before!"
Selina told me that Eric had suggested that they get onto the bed. She agreed. He must have had a tremendous sexual appetite, and tremendous capacity as well, for Selina said that he was able to reach climax after climax. In her own words:
"He got one load into me while we were in the chair!" she said. "I know it was right when he opened his mouth for me. When my tongue got inside of his mouth, he started sucking on it, and at the same time, I felt his hands forcing me further onto his prong. Right then, I felt his thing starting to quiver-to jerk. Then I felt his shots coming into me. I couldn't help but to squirm myself further onto him. I was staggering from the force of our passion, when he said for us to get onto the bed, I was more than willing. I wanted some more stuff, but I wanted to get it on my back!"
As it turned out, Selina did not get her wish, for Eric was the one to get onto his back.
"If I thought he had been into me deep before," said Selina, "I got another surprise. He told me exactly how he wanted it. He told me to sit on his thing, and to bring my knees up to my chest. When I did that, I thought his peter was going to come up through my body. I really thought I was going to be torn up. Can you imagine the way a girl feels when she has a boy fully into her! That can't be described to a man. I mean, it's delicious!"
Q. Are you still having relations with Eric?
A. Every now and then, but we are trying to cool it. I really like doing things with that no good bastard, but I'd hate to get PG by my own brother. There's no danger of that with a girl!
Q. How does Eric feel about the situation?
A. He doesn't give a shit. I don't think the bastard's conscience is worth a shit!
Again, a look of bitterness crossed the girl's face, but then she continued, her language becoming more lurid and profane than before!
"After I had done it to him twice," she said, "both times by sitting on him, I was so gooey that I had his belly all wet. I was so damned messy I had to go to the bathroom. I didn't do anything except to sit on the old John. I got to thinking about getting pregnant about that time, but Eric wasn't about to be put off. He called to me!"
"Come on back in here, you little bitch!" Eric had called out to his sister.
"I couldn't go to him, right then," she said, "because I had the urge to urinate. He kept calling, but I must have peed a gallon. Probably from the excitement. I get that way sometimes when I get excited. You've heard that old saying about getting so excited you could pee in your pants? Well, it strictly applies to me. When I get excited, I just can't control my bladder. Once, I even pissed on Wayne while we were doing it!"
Q. You actually urinated on the boy while you were in the act of intercourse?
A. Yes. I pissed all over him. I did it right at the moment of my climax. He was getting it from the rear. I mean he was really getting it. I pissed a stream when he poled me good and hard!
Q. He was inserted into your rectum?
A. No, I was bent over that bench in their shed, and he was getting it dog-fashion. Maybe it was the pressure of the edge of the bench on my belly. Shit, I don't know. But right now, let me tell you about the rest of that day with Eric! Hell, that was something else. I still don't like the thing he has done to Lola though!
Selina explained that as she had remained seated on the toilet Eric had continued to call out to her. When she did not respond after he had called out several times, she heard his bed creak, and then the padding of his bare feet, as he had approached the bathroom.
"I've done about everything in the hood," she said to me, "but I don't like people watching me potty! I was trying to get off of the stool when he came into the bathroom!"
"Stay right there!" Eric had said to Selina. "Stay right where you are!" Then she had felt the pressure of his hands on her naked shoulders, and the pain of the force he applied to keep her seated on the commode.
"I don't blush easily," Selina said, "but the private things about life, you know, going to the toilet, things like that need to be kept in private. Wasn't a chance that day, though. He wouldn't let me off of the pot. He told me to take his thing into my mouth!"
Q. You found that objectionable?
A. I wouldn't have minded if I hadn't of had to do it while sitting on the John. But he made me do it right there.
Q. You mean that he was able to gain another erection?
A. No, he was limp at first, but he was warm and soft. He came up when I took him into my mouth though!
"Put it in your mouth!" Eric demanded. "Put your mouth around it. And while you are doing that, play with my cods!"
"I did what he said!" said Selina. "I didn't have a choice. At first, I could tell that he was doing it out of meanness, but then, I could feel his thing getting up in my mouth."
"Do like I told you!" Eric demanded, his body trembling with the passion of lust, and the sadistic pleasure he was deriving out of the humiliation of his sister. "Play with my nuts! Go on, do it, or I'll slap the hell out of you!"
"I don't know why he said that to me!" Selina said. "Hell I was doing the best I could do. I was getting a real kick out of it, too. I loved the way he was stiffening up inside of my mouth. I sucked him until he got it off! Once I got him started going, I felt his hands dropping off of my head, and down to my boobies! Boy, did those nipples stiffen up. I think they got about as stiff as his prong!"
One would have thought that after she had his full ejaculation that Eric would have let his partner-his sister-relax for a bit. But other things were on his mind, and according to Selina, things that brought her pleasure, as well as shame, pain and excitement. It appears that Eric was far more precocious about sex than she had ever dreamed.
"After we finished in the bathroom, he got me back onto the bed," she said. "He didn't want to screw any more, he wanted to investigate me thoroughly!"
Q. You mean your sex organs? A. Yeah, he made me lay so that I was across the bed rather than up and down it. He told me to raise up my knees, and to spread my legs-to spread them as wide as I could get them! Q. And you did?
A. There wasn't anything else to do. I just had to lie there and let him do things to me!
Q. What did he do?
A. I'm not embarrassed easy, but some of the things he did to me that day, I'm really embarrassed to tell you about!
I assured the child that her confession would not make me blush, and that it would be held in the strictest confidence. I told her that I might use her case in a future book, but that she would be unrecognizable. She continued to tell me about the deviate manner of her brother, and about the emotions that were elicited within her from the actions coming from him.
"He got my legs open," said Selina, "and I thought he was going to kiss my thing. He didn't, though. He did something else. He told me to stay put. I didn't know what he was going to do, but he left the room. When he came back, he had a lot of things with him. I got frightened. I knew what he had in mind, and I didn't like it one bit. I like to do things, but I didn't want to get hurt in the process. I didn't like the look in his eyes either!"
Q. What did he return with?
A. He returned with all sorts of things. I knew what his plan was. He meant to shove those things into me. He didn't make any bones about it either. He really was intent on hurting me. He had a belt with him too. It was a big wide one. He meant to use it on me and, I knew it! I begged him to leave me alone, but when I did, he cracked me across the shins with that belt.
Q. What did he do to you?
A. He stuck everything into me! And then while he had me crammed full, he beat the shit out of me!
"Like that?" Eric had asked, with a scornful leer, as he had struck her with the belt. She was filled in both the anus and genitals, as well. "Like that?"
"Some of the things he had done to me, I liked; got a kick out of!" Selina said. "I like a little spanking, but I like it from a girl. I didn't like the way he ended me up though!"
"What do you mean?"
"Well," she said, "he had gotten a couple of cigars, and some other things when he went downstairs. He took one of those cigars. He made me let him shove it into my thing. I didn't mind that too much, but I don't like the way that the tobacco makes you burn. Then he crammed one into my rear. That didn't suit him, though. He told me he was really going to give me a thrill. That's when he brought out the bottle!"
Q. He was drinking?
A. No. he was going to cram it into me. And, brother, he did that, too!
Q. What kind of a bottle was it? Was it large, small? He must have been aware that a shattering of the glass might harm you severely-even maim you for life?
A. Shit, he knew it! like I told you though, that bastard's got no conscience! The bottle was about an inch and a half across-what do you call it, diameter? I think it was an olive bottle. Well, it hurt like hell, because it was not rounded, but I had to lie there and let him cram the thing into me. God, but that hurt. It hurt like hell. I couldn't hardly move when he got it into me, but I had to when he told me to turn over. He took the cigar out of my rear! I was so grateful I could have cried out for joy!
But, according to Selina, that was not the end of that interlude of lust. Eric had parted the cheeks of her buttocks, and, after removing the cigar, he had used his hands to force the bottle into her vagina so deeply that she had cried out to him!
"Don't, Eric!" she had cried out to her brother.
"Oh, don't, you're killing me. Oh, Eric, don't do that to me I Please Eric!"
Her pleas fell on deafened ears, however, ears deafened by desire and the want to hurt.
"Oh, we're not through yet!" Eric had said to her. "We're not nearly through! You little bitch. I'll teach you to pump up a false pussy around my dong. I'm going to make you remember this day!"
"I remember it all right!" Selina said, shifting back to the present. "Hell yes, I remember it. I really remember it! I was on my belly, and then I felt something else going into me. He shoved a long thing into my rear. I didn't know what it was until it was all over. I found out that it was a candle. I know he must have done it into me for about eight inches! After he got all of the stuff shoved into me, he started with the belt. He whipped me good. I got some good feelings when he wasn't beating me hard. But when he cut loose on me, I really got into terrible pain. I jumped off of the bed, and ran out of the room. I bolted my door, and tried to get the things out of my insides!"
"You were successful, I presume?"
Selina indicated to me that she was successful, but that the articles came out stained with her mucous hemorrhaging!
"That bastard nearly killed me!" she exclaimed. "There's no telling what he has done to Lola. I want you to help Lola. As for me, I'm going to fuck everything I can in the way of a female!
"I'm going to be right there when Lola has that little ass of a kid. I'll be the only one there. Her folks are on her ass. I guess I'm the only friend she has. I don't mind telling you, I'm jealous of the way she feels about Eric. But I love her anyway. I've got a question, though."
"What's that?" I asked.
"Why is it," she inquired pensively, "that I like to have a boy sometimes, and really don't want him? Why is it that I like a girl when I'll do things with a boy? I really like doing things with Eric. He's stopped cramming things into me, that is, things like bottles, cigars, and candles. I've taken him every way there is, though!"
"What do you mean by that remark?"
Selina explained to me that she had indeed taken her brother every way possible. She had taken his penis into her orally, genitally, and rectally. Not only that, but they had adventured into cunnilingus, fellatio, and other forms of sexual behavior. She concluded the interview by abruptly walking out of the office. I never saw her again. The next person I had a chance to chat with about the sex-life of a teen-ager was Lola's mother. For some reason, the woman opened up completely. She hedged not an instant!
CHAPTER SEVEN
MARTHA, THE MALEVOLENT MOTHER
When Lola's mother-a tall stately female-entered my office, I was rather perplexed by her sudden and unexpected appearance. She had something on her mind, and I well knew it!
She was dressed in a polka dot frock that enhanced her willowy appearance. The frock also accentuated the attractiveness of her already attractive figure. Her hair was done in a short bob, and that also served to contrast the attractiveness of her full face, and her full lips. All in all, I found her to be a most attractive persona female with all of the necessary attributes to snare and hold a male!
She seated herself rather nervously, and we began our chat by my asking her why had she come!
"I didn't come on account of Lola," she told me. "I know that a lot of her trouble-and problems are on account of some of my indiscretions."
"Why do you say that?" I asked of the woman, not letting her have an inkling that I knew of her affair with the neighbor friend. She explained her feelings to me, and left nothing to my imagination.
Martha's body shifted nervously as she continued to tell me about her problems. But the important thing is, not the effect it had on the mother, but, the effect it had on Lola when she saw her mother in the act of sexual intercourse with the filthy neighbor.
"I know that Lola knows about the things I have done with Earl!" she said. "I feel so much to blame for the way she has gotten caught up in this thing. What's a woman to do. I don't know if Lola has told you or not, but my husband is impotent. I'm normal, and I have to have some kind of physical release. I tried not to do things for years, but it became so unbearable that I couldn't stand it!'
Q. Had you had any pre-marital sexual experience?
A. You mean sex before I was married, don't you?
"Yes," I answered, and then I saw this woman's face flush crimson.
"Do I have to answer that question?" she asked with a stoic smile-a smile forced by the lack of conviction that she had about her apology-not an apology to me, but one to herself, as she tried to absolve the feelings of guilt she had concerning her daughter.
"You have to tell me nothing, if you do not wish," I advised the woman, but she went on to tell me things about herself-things that had obviously affected her daughter the pregnant Lola.
"I was not promiscuous!" Martha told me. "I wasn't at all promiscuous. I had had some experience, though, and of all things, with a preacher, no, not a preacher, but my Sunday school teacher. I don't even like to think about that, though. I just hate the thought of that. We did it in the church too! God, I'll go to hell for that. I suppose I will, don't you?"
Not being a minister, I could not but reassure her that I was sure a higher power than either of us would decide that! She continued to tell me of that first indiscretion!
"I was around sixteen at the time," she said. "He was around twenty something or other."
Martha told me that she was well developed for her age, and from the way her willowy figure was straining against the tightness of her polka-dots, I could well believe her! She went on with her salacious tale.
"I had thought about sex a lot," she told me, "but in my parents' home, sex was something that wasn't discussed. I feel so bad about not telling Lola more, but I guess that it is a result of the way I was raised."
I had to get her back on the right track. I had to question her to do so. "But you're not telling me about the intercourse with your religious teacher.' '
The woman became very angry, and I wondered again, about the human mind. I wondered about many things, for a psychologist is no less human than is the constituent client-patient. Martha moved on, but not without a belligerent comment.
"I don't think much of you!" she said, and I could see all of her guilt flowing across her flushing face. "I don't have to be here!"
"Why are you here then?" I questioned of her, and she regained some semblance of composure.
"I'm here," she said, "because I need help. I have to get this load off of me. I have to live somehow. I go to church now, but it means little to me. I don't feel like a good person anymore."
I assured the woman that she should get it off her chest, and she did exactly that. She told me of it-she told me the whole story. One often wonders though if the whole story is the whole story! However, the female followed through.
"As I told you!" she said, her body vibrating from the emotion that was fuming within her. "I was about sixteen. I had done some things to myself, but I hadn't done anything with a man, a boy-I hadn't done anything with anyone except myself!"
"You mean masturbation?"
"Yes," she replied. "I had done a lot of that. I had done things that made me think I was going to go to hell. I couldn't stop though. All of the girls that I ran around with did things to themselves. They would sit in church-in Sunday School-they would look so prim-so proper, but I knew what they did in the girls' room at school!"
"What did they do?"
"You mean in the restroom?" she questioned, and I assured her that that was the question.
"They did a lot of things!" she said. "All of them. There was a bunch of them, and I learned more about sex there than I could have learned anywhere. I still wasn't doing things to boys though!"
Q. What were you doing?
A. I was only doing that sort of stuff that you read about-you know what I mean. You do, don't you?
Q. No!
That was a play on her emotions, but I had , to resort to that subterfuge to bring her out into the open more fully-to delve into her mind, her ego! Actually, I was wanting to make her angry. I was most successful at that, also. I forced anger into her mind. She responded fully to my prodding of her temperance.
"Why don't you open up?" I questioned of her. "Why don't you come right out and tell me the truth. Why don't you be honest with me and with yourself. That's the only way we will ever get anywhere!"
"Well," she told me, her face taking on an expression of anxiety, "I was sneaking around to see my mother and my father do things. They did a lot, but one thing about them, they didn't do things on Sunday!"
I could see the results of this female's upbringing. I could well see the environmental trauma that was professing itself in her outlook on life. I could see how her upbringing had conditioned her for the sort of life she had led her child into-a life based on hypocrisy-on a false illusion of morality, and not one of education. I thought about a thought that I had turned over in my mind for years-Show me a delinquent child, and I'll show you a delinquent parent! The more she talked, the more I became convinced that Lola's problem was a problem of continuing conditioned trauma brought on by the action of her mother with her father (impotent), and with the filthy neighbor.
"Yet, you did things to the teacher?
The woman was not angry enough yet to spill the beans to me so I questioned her further.
"Why don't you tell the truth?" I questioned, and she responded wildly!
"I could kick you!" she shouted, and her face was as sadistic as anything I have ever seen.
"Yes!" she added, "I could kick the dickens out of you for the things we have done!"
I wondered again about her connotations, and I questioned her about her use of terms.
"Things that you and I have done?" I questioned, and watched her face strain again!
"No!" she shouted, "No! No! No! No!"
She pounded on the arm of the chair as so many before her had done, and she answered me more prolifically.
"I mean the things that I did with the preacher, and the things I have done with Earl!"
Still not wanting to let her know that I knew about her relationship with Earl, I threw in another question.
Q. What is this about the man named Earl? Who is he? Is this the affair that you were telling me about the one that Lola knows about?
A. Yes! But I have to get this other burden off of my soul!
Q. You mean the affair with the teacher in your church?
A. Yes! I haven't had any peace about that for years! I just don't know what I'm going to do about that!
Q. Going to do about it?
A. Yes (clenching her hands into tight balls of flesh). I can't forget it. I just don't know what I'm going to do. I know I'll go to hell for that!
There it was again-the picture of all-consuming guilt. I could easily see some of the reasons for Lola's hostility-her promiscuity!
"You came to me to tell me about yourself didn't you?" I questioned, and as abruptly as she had become wild, she went on in a settled manner.
"I have always thought about sex," she said. "I guess all girls do. I should have instructed Lola better, but I didn't. I assumed that she would learn. I don't know, but I think there's something dirty about sex! I really do-I really do!"
"Do you wish to tell me about the affair with the teacher?"
"Yes," she replied in answer to my question about the Sunday school teacher. "I have to tell someone about it!"
Then she went on to tell me about the way the incident took place-the things that led up to it!
"I was talking sex with the girls at school, and I had found a good friend, a girl named Nellie. She was a pretty girl-a girl I shan't ever forget. We used to spend the nights together sometimes. We slept in the same bed, and we would rub around on each other. I was about twelve then. By the time I was sixteen, Nellie and I were doing other things to each other. We did a lot of things that I hate now, but at the time, I liked it a great deal!"
"What were the things that you and Nellie-the things that the rest of the girls were doing?"
"Well, Nellie and I had learned how to rub each other on the spots that bring sexual arousement to a girl," she said, and then she really opened up! "Nellie and I found all of them. I'm particularly aroused when someone touches me on the backside of my knees-the small of my back, and oh, Lord, on the nipples of my breasts!"
Martha told me that she was fighting the desire to do something with a male. She told me that Nellie had told her about having relations with a boy at school. At the time, Martha was between fifteen and sixteen.
"I was both shocked and intrigued by her story!" Martha told me. "I really wondered what it would be like to have something up in me. I hadn't done anything like that before. All I had done was maybe the insertion of a little of my finger before. I mostly did things to my clitoris. I can still reach an orgasm that way. But now, I crave it more and more to have something into me!"
Q. What were your other reactions to Nellie's confession of her sexual activity with the boy?
A. I made her tell me all about it!
Then Martha told me about what she had been confessed to by Nellie.
"Nellie told me that she had gone into an old deserted hotel with the boy," said Martha. "She made no excuses about the incident, but I could tell she was a little guilty about the thing!
"She told me that the boy had told her he had something to show her-I think she said something to me about some rabbits, or something!"
Q. Rabbits?
A. That's what she said. I wonder though if she didn't know that the boy wanted to do something besides show her some rabbits!
I wondered myself, but before I could talk to the woman further, she continued.
"Nellie told me that once they were in this old building, the boy took her down to the basement. She said his name was Butch, Fudge, Pudge, or something like that. She told me that once they were in the basement, he told her that he wanted to see her thing."
According to Martha's testimony, Nellie had said that she did not wish to expose herself.
"I tried to run!" Nellie had told Martha, "but he grabbed me, and he pulled up my dress!"
As Martha told me, Nellie had said that the boy's hands were onto her immediately!
"Stop!" she had cried out to the youth, but it (her shout) had been of little consequence, and his hands were onto her parts.
As she and Martha had lain side by side in the bed on the night of the confession, Nellie had continued.
"Once he got his hands onto me," Nellie had told Martha, "he was like an animal, but I really got upset!"
"Upset!" Martha said she had asked, and the girl replied that it wasn't a bad upset, but a feeling of excitement. Then Nellie continued to tell Martha about the sexual session that prevailed in the basement of the old hotel.
"You don't know anything!" she had said to Martha. "You don't know anything until you get something into you. It hurts a little at first, but then once you get really gooey-once your thing gets right, you can really enjoy it. I told him that you might like to try it!"
Martha admitted to me that she had thought about trying it with the boy, but that her religious convictions had forbidden her temptations.
"I thought about it!" she said to me, her body trembling again. "I just couldn't do it, though!"
"Yet, you did it with the preacher-I mean the teacher!"
"Yes," she said, "but that sex took place sometime later!"
Q. Want to tell me about that now?
A. Yes. I guess I've got to find some way to tell you about it. I don't particularly want to though. I don't mean that-no I don't mean that at all. What I mean is I want to tell you, but I hate to-can you understand that?
Martha told me that after her conversation with Nellie, she (Martha) had begun to think more and more about sex. She told me that she began observing boys more and more, but that the extent of her sexual progress was limited to some few kisses, and once she slapped a boy who tried to touch her on the breasts!
"I was a normal teen-ager," she said. "I was as normal as any of the others. At least, I figure I was. I kept thinking about doing things with boys, though. I liked tahe way Nellie and I could rub each other, but something was missing. I'm sure that I was normal!"
"I belonged to the youth league at our church, and I enjoyed going to it. I went on Wednesdays, and then again on Sunday nights before we went to church. My family went to church about six or seven times a week. My youth instructor-the only man that did something to me before I was married-was named Clinton. We all called him Clint. He was about twenty, something or the other, as I told you. I noticed him looking at me a lot of times. I got excited by the way his eyes flashed when he looked at me!"
And well she should have gotten excited, for as she told me about her interlude with this man, I could see that he was a past master in the art of seduction!
As it turned out, according to her confession, the man had held his usual session of the youth league on a Sunday. But when the period of instruction was over, he had asked Martha to remain after the others had left. He told her that he wanted her to help him with some writing that he wanted to do for the children.
"I wondered why he didn't keep his wife there," said Martha, "but he was so nice and handsome I agreed to stay and help him. I felt like-I felt like the mischief, though, when the whole thing was over!"
Q. A feeling of guilt?
A. No, not exactly. I had that feeling, of course, but I felt bad physically as well. I was sore, and I had this feeling of nausea. I was really in terrible shape!
I could understand the way she felt.
"Well," she said, "once everyone was gone, he asked me to sit next to him. We were both sitting in straight chairs in the educational portion of the church. It was down in the lower part of the church. We were in front of a table. I noticed that from time to time, he would look at me in a funny way!"
Q. A funny way?
A. Yes, you know, the way a man looks at a woman when he is wanting something!
Q. You mean sex, of course?
A. Yes, that's what I mean-that's exactly what I mean!
I watched the face of this female become strained-become drawn-become pensive, and thoughtful.
She continued with her lurid confession, and I found her quite candid in her refreshing rendition of her story. At least, I found her confession most revealing-more than most people would have had the courage to render!
"I should have run out of the room we were in," she said, "but something about his manner-the way he was looking at me kept me glued to my chair. like I told you, I had been thinking about sex, and all that sort of stuff! I should have run, though. Oh God, but I wish I had. To do something in a church is terrible! I dream about it. I hate the thoughts of what I did that day!"
Q. Will you please get on with it? A. Yes.
Her fingers drummed onto the arm of her chair and I could see the anxiety blooming in her face. I could see the nervousness trembling its way out of her nervous body! Suddenly, she began shouting out her message to me-a message of resentment-a message of release. I had to listen, but I thought I might have to call in a medical doctor for her. She began to shout!
"I want to fuck!" she shouted. "I want to fuck-fuck-fuck, and then I want to fuck again. I want to fuck!"
I assumed this to be a reaction against the impotence of her husband. I took her shouting to be a battle within herself against the things she wanted to do, and, yet. was afraid of. She shouted a few more foundering statements, and then she continued to confess her sexual relations with the church seducer!
"I'm sorry!" she said, "I'm really repentant! I really am! I hate the way that I have acted. I'll tell you about the thing between me and the preacher-I mean the teacher. Just give me moment!"
I gave her several moments. I gave her a glass of water, and she went on to tell ne about Clint.
"We were sitting at this table," she said, "All at once, he started telling me about love!"
Q. Telling you about love? Do you mean sex, or love?
A. He started out by telling me about love, but then he got onto the sex subject!
Q. How did he do that!
A. He began by telling me that love was a spiritual counterpart of sex! I listened, because I was excited to learn something from a man instead of from the girls I was running with. He got right to the point though, and then I got scared. I remembered what Nellie had told me about the pain involved in doing things!
Q. He got right to the point?
A. Yes, he twisted his words around to get me to thinking about doing things!
Q. What did he say?
A. He said that anything that was good was good-that it was God given. I could see the mound of his thing coming up-you know, his organ-his sex organ. I was terribly excited by his actions-his conversation-the way he was talking to me-the way he was staring at me!
Q. He made an overt act toward you?
A. Yes. He kept up his talking for a little, but then he put his hand onto my leg. I thought about running. I was stupefied by the things that he was doing, but I was still excited. He moved his hand up and down my legs, and I couldn't move a muscle to stop him. I was stunned. His eyes were flashing like bolts of summer lightning, and I had to sit there.
Q. Then you allowed him to go on?
A. Yes, he had me mesmerized. He really did-I was hypnotized by his actions!
Q. What did he do?
A. He kept his hand moving up my legs until he was sure I wasn't going to scream out for help! Then he put his hand up my dress. Once he had his hand up my leg, I was so excited and panting that I couldn't have stopped him from anything!
I could feel all of his fingers doing things to me! I felt good about the thing right then.
Q. And then he took you to the act of intercourse?
A. Yes! He put me onto the table, and he took me sturdily. He took me full, and he took me with a fierceness that I only later found in Earl. Oh heaven help me, I'm so messed up, I don't know what to do.
Q. When he got you onto the table, what did he do!
A. He took off my panties, and he put his organ to me. God, but I'll never forget that first time! I didn't tell Nellie about that though. I've never told anyone but you!
Q. Want to tell me more?
A. I've got to-I've just got to get this stuff off of my soul. I must-must-must!
Then Martha told me about the manner in which she had been deflowered.
Once he had gotten her panties off, he said, "Get onto the table. I must do something to you!"
She had allowed him to place her willowy body into a position for the entrance.
"God!" she told me, "but that was really something! I thought I was going to need a doctor after it was over. I bled all over the educational room.
"He entered me like I have never been entered since-that is, except by Earl. Oh hell, but I love Charles. He just can't do anything, though. What's a woman to do when she has to have sex, and can't get it at home? I need it, and poor Charles just doesn't have it any more!"
I listened to the woman tell me about her tribulations, and I could feel her anxiety.
Then she told me about the impotence of her husband Charles, and I could tell why she felt alone, lost, and without the release of her sexual desires.
I could also see the reason that she had resorted to sex with the teacher, and the sordid session with the erotic man named Earl.
"I thought things would be wonderful after I was married to Charles," she said, "but he got torn up in the war. He just couldn't do anything except eat me any more."
"You mean the act of cunnilingus?"
"Yes," she said. "That's exactly what I mean!"
Again, the paranoid symptom to the fore-the exact phrasing of her words were out! Her words became clipped, and concise. She was a machine at that moment! This beautiful statue of a formed female was a caricature of nothing. In her mind, she had lost her libido. Which was far from the truth.
I allowed her to confess her transgressions, and then she, too, left my office. I have seen none of them since, but I feel that they may make it.
It is like all things!
Knock and it shall be answered. Ask and you shall receive! WHY?
