"And that Dick was suddenly like a wild animal! He grabbed me by my hair and threw me down on the mats like an old rag doll. Before I even knew what the hell was the matter with him, he had pulled down his jeans and was waving his meat at me like he was gonna club me to death, like I'd done something horrible to him! What a creep! But Jerry cooled him, told him to take it easy, that I was an all right chick and that he didn't have to get all uptight over anything. Well, something snapped in the guy and Dick just sank down to the mat and began to cry. like a baby, you know what I mean? Sobbin' out his frustration I guess. Well, that led to me and my big heart-I have always been a softie for guys who are in trouble-and I just started stripping down, starin' at his limp prick and how it lay there while the guy was pourin' out his heart.
"Jerry had also stripped down. I'd never gone on a threesome before, but I figured this was as good a time as any. I leaned over and, stretching out alongside Dick, I began to play with his prick. After a few moments, his crying let up a little and he rolled over on his back with his arm over his face. I just wanted to make him feel better, so I lifted his penis to my mouth and began kissing it-little tiny kisses all up and down it, and down around his balls. I hadn't done that to a guy since Mr. Gee-whiz and I realized that I felt sorry for this kid, too.
"Jerry was sittin' cross-legged real near to us and he was fondlin' himself and muttering things like, 'Jesus! I didn't know you'd do something like that,' and other things along those same lines. It made me feel pretty important, I don't mind tellin' you, and I knew that I had even more surprises in store for him.
"So then I started licking Dick's dong, playing with his balls at the same time. Well, he sure'n hell began to react to that, let me tell you. His prick was really gettin' right on up there in no time at all. Then I took the warm shaft in my hand and started to lick around the ridge at the head, darting the tip of my tongue in and out of the tiny little hole at the tip of it, trying to get that same milky stuff out that Mr. Gee-whiz used to come up with all the time.
"Dick really started moaning then, kind of writhing around on the mat and trying to shove his cock up into my mouth. I was real careful and took a little love-bite on the head of it, and I thought he was gonna leap out of his skin! But I guess he took it the wrong way, and he grabbed me by the hair again and twisted me up to my knees on an all-four position.
"'You little bitch! You want to suck cock? Okay, suck! I'm gonna fuck your face, baby, and fuck it good. I'm gonna shove my big cock all the way down your throat and make you eat my come until you drown!'
"And he started laying it on me real heavy, slammin' his rigid cock into my mouth so that it was bangin' against my throat and gaggin' me. I was gettin' kind of scared, too, until I heard Jerry tellin' him to take it easy and that if he didn't know how to get sucked off, that he-Jerry, that is-would take over. He'd never had his cock sucked before I guess. Well, that cooled this nutty Dick again an' he started fuckin' my mouth a lot nicer, slow and easy and really enjoying himself.
"Jerry was too hot to just hang around and do nothing but supervise, but then, he always did have a short fuse. Anyways, me on all fours and this Dick character fucking my face was all right for Dick, but it wasn't enough for Jerry. He came back around me and hoisted up my ass so's he could get at my cunt with his hard on. And when I felt him shoving it up inside of me, I was really awfully happy. It had been such a damned long time that it was like comin' home after you'd been away for months and months. I knew at that moment that I could never hold out like I'd been trying to. It just felt too goddam good having a hard cock rammed up inside of my hot wet snatch, feeling the big thing rubbing against the insides of my hole and poking against that wall that's up inside there. Every time Jerry would pull out a little, I'd slam my hips back up against him so I could get his stiff cock all up and snug inside of me where it belonged. I was really kind of glad to be home again, you know what I mean? Jerry was making me so hot, fucking me like that, his hands holding on to my hips and pummeling at me with his shaft that it was all I could do not to just come right away and spoil everything by having to take a rest.
"But I knew that this Dick creep was pretty near to shootin' his wad and I didn't want to stop nothin' right then and there. I just wanted to have that lug get his rocks off so he'd stop yanking on my hair every time he got a hair up his ass! And I knew that Jerry could hold out for awhile, him and me had made it before enough times so that I wasn't worried about that.
"Well, finally this Dick creep began groaning and moanin' and carryin' on until you'd a thought that I was chewin' him up and spittin' out the pieces ... and there he went again with the hair. He grabbed me again and made one great big thrust with his bulging cock and started shooting into my mouth ... and shooting. As rough as he was, at least the guy had something in his pants to let go with, I'll say that for him. Anyhow, he slumped down on the mat, breathin' real hard and I figured I could forget about him for a few minutes anyway.
"So I rolled a little, showing Jerry that I wanted him to get on top of me and fuck me real hard. He didn't need much prompting ... screwing a girl from behind is a nice variation once you've already gotten your rocks off and are then just lazily goin' at it again. But for openers, especially if a guy's really horny, they usually prefer to slam it in and feel their balls slapping at your ass.
"I could of been fucked for hours an' been happy. I guess it's kind of like an alkie who's decided to fall off the wagon ... you want to make up for lost time, but then, you don't want to pass out before you can really enjoy the feeling. I'm just guessin', though; I haven't got that problem.
"But I threw my legs around Jerry's waist and clung to him as he sweated and ground his prick deep inside of me, letting my hands feel his strong young muscles, lettin' his cock work its magic inside of me. There's just nothin' like a hard fat prick completely filling up your hungry hot hole, pushing in and out, the head of it rubbing along the sides of your starving vagina, feelin' all his juices and your own making a nice slippery cave for his piston. Man, when a girl's getting fucked, she knows she's alive and she knows she's needed! Even if a guy's madly in love with some other gal, while he's screwing me he isn't thinking about nothing else but me and my greedy hole!
"And then Jerry was ready and he started talkin' at me the way he always did.
" 'Oh yeah! I'm makin' it, baby, I'm makin' it ... come with me ... let me feel that tight snatch of yours snappin' on my cock, milkin' it dry ... let me feel you comin' too ... I'm gonna make it real sweet this time, real hard ... gonna shoot enough come into you to keep you drippin' for a week ... gonna make it now ... gonna fill your little cunt ... gonna commm....'
"And he did ... and, oh wow! so did I! It started in my belly, and snowballed to my ass and then came roaring up to my snatch till I exploded in wild spasms, one right after another, twitching and grabbing ... it was really terrific!
"Well, after that, the three of us lay around smoking cigs-which the fellows shouldn't have done, bein' in trainin' and all-and just catching our breath. We went at it a few more times, and the best was when I was straddling Jerry, riding up and down on his cock like some kind of merry-go-'round ... and then Dick came up and fucked my ass. Mr. Gee-whiz had fucked my ass before, so I was ready for him. But it's something else again when you've got a big cock up your cunt and another big cock shoved up your ass-hole! You're being torn apart and you couldn't be happier about it. Really groovy.
"Finally the boys had had it. I was still rarin' to go, but the guys said they were finished for the night. They were pretty good-natured about me wantin' them to fuck me again and again, but they wouldn't budge. No hard on, no fuck. I wasn't mad or anything, but I was disappointed. You can't give a starving man half a cracker and expect him to be grateful! As far as I was concerned, the appetizer was nice ... but where was the meal?
"But no is no and there was nothin' I could do-no matter how hard I tried-to get a hard on for either of the guys. So we just started talkin' about the game and how rotten everything had gone. The guys really felt bad for the coach and told me that he was kind of psycho about our school winnin' the cup this year. Jerry said that he'd heard that the coach had just gone through a divorce, and Dick said he thought the guy was really all torn up about not being with his son all the time, just on weekends. And they both thought that it was on account of that that the coach just wasn't really pitching the team right. So we figured out a plan. The big deciding game was gonna be this month, the one that would either keep us in for the finals or leave us behind ... and that what the coach needed was a little coachin'. Like maybe if he got his rocks off before the game, got a lot of flattery and that sort of thing ... well, that he'd be in better shape to really fire up the guys with some smart instructions.
"We set it up that the night before the big game for the finals, I'd sneak into the coach's office and turn him on ... fuck him real good, and then he'd be all right for the following day.
"Everything went off beautifully. The fellas got me past everybody and into the coach's office without any hitches. I was wearing a micro-mini, no underwear, and no bra under my blouse what was cut down to my navel just about. No matter what I did either my tits were gonna hang out temptingly, or my snatch was gonna be a hairy invitation. We figured we'd say that I was Jerry's girlfriend and I was worried about him ... you know, something to give me a reason to be in his office. The rest we figured nature would take care of.
"The coach was bent over his desk when I came in and there wasn't anybody around that I could see. He was startled when I let myself in, the coach-Aaron's his name, or was-and wanted to know how the hell I'd gotten into his office ... only he didn't use the word 'hell' bein' a teacher an' all. So I started layin' my sad story on him, how worried I was about Jerry and all that bullshit ... and makin' real sure that he could get a hot-damn view of my titties. But Aaron, he just kept trying to look the other way. He made sympathetic noises, but he just didn't want to look at my boobs.
"Hell, if he wasn't a tit man, then I'd give him a bird's eye view of my snatch! I sat down on the edge of his desk, right in front of him, and with one leg hangin' to the floor even if he couldn't see my snatch he was sure as hell gonna smell my heat!
" 'Listen, Mr. D., ' I told him, 'you've just got to help me. Why this game has got Jerry so uptight he can't even get a hard on!'
"Well, that startled the coach all right. Enough so that I could see he was gettin' a hard on himself. So I pushed him on it. 'I'm not used to this kind of treatment, Mr. D. I'm used to gettin' it real regular and Jerry's being turned off the way he is, well it's driving me straight up the walls!' And I could see that I was really turnin' him on. His pants were bulging like he'd stuffed 'em with socks! And his hands just kept opening and clenching, and I could see small beads of sweat on his forehead. As a matter-of-fact, he looked a little like a trapped animal. So I figured I'd better close in for the kill or he was gonna go flying out of that office and I'd have wasted my time.
"I slid off the desk and stood right in front of him with my legs spread apart right in front of his face. I put my hand on his face and told him, 'You're a grown-up, you've gotta understand what it means to get your snatch regular, to shove your prick up inside a happy young body that's dying for it!'
"Something seemed to crumple inside of him and the next thing I knew he'd grabbed me by the hips and brought my snatch right up to his face, burying his face right in my thick bush ... an' he was kind of cryin' softly. His hands shot straight up inside of my blouse and started kneadin' my titties like he'd never felt a woman's breast before.
"I reached down and undid his pants and let his whang go flying out straight and rigid as a poker. So I just sat down on his lap, facing him, and sank his rod up inside of my dripping slippery hole. Mr. Gee-whiz had taught me how to snap, so I figured if I was gonna hold Aaron's attention, I'd better get him so hot he couldn't turn me down no matter if the whole building was on fire.
"And it worked, too. I kept talkin' to him all the while I was snappin' at him, tellin' him how much Jerry liked me to do that to him, and how Jerry always came too soon so we had to do it over and over, and how sometimes I'd suck Jerry off and that I'd suck him off too 'cause Jerry thought so much of him ... that all the guys really thought he was terrific ... you know, building up his ego. And I kept tellin' him how nice his prick was, how big it was and how good it felt up inside of me and that I couldn't wait to get my mouth around it ... stuff like that.
"He sure didn't take long to come. I guess the poor bastard hadn't had any in an awful long time. After he shot his wad he began blubbering all over the place. I offered to suck him off if it would make him feel better, but he just told me to get out and leave him alone. Well, shit, I'd done all I could do and he was actin' so funny that I figured maybe I should get out and leave him there. He'd get over whatever was buggin' him once he realized how good he felt after shootin' his load with a young chick.
"Anyhow, that's all I know about it. I left. I don't know why the jerk hung himself ... I really don't. It couldn't be on account of me ... what for? No guy goes and hangs himself just 'cause he's been laid. That's dumb. But there he was the next day, danglin' in the middle of the gym for everyone to see, his eyes bulgin', the kids tell me, and his tongue all black and hang-in' out. Christ! What makes people so weird?"
It is currently accepted medical fact that each year the age when a girl reaches sexual maturity comes earlier and earlier. By maturity, we are referring here to the date when she is able to engage in sexual intercourse with resulting orgasm.
Dr. J.M. Tanner reports on this situation, During the last one hundred years there has been a very striking tendency for the time of adolescence, as typified by the menarche or the growth spurt, to become earlier. The date on heights and weights of children of school age and below show that the whole process of growth has speeded up and that all children born in the 1930's or 1950's, for example, were considerably larger than those born in the 1900's.
... Age at menarche has been getting earlier by some four months per decade in Europe over the period 1830-1960. Other European data, though not quite so regular, agree well with these figures. The trend in height and weight at about this age is closely equivalent to this amount of four months per decade, children of ten thirty years ago having the size of children of nine at present.
... It is interesting that at the same time as the menarche has gotten earlier, the menopause has gotten later, suggesting that the pituitary is involved in the genesis of both trends. I
It is not really unusual that the incidence of young girls seducing older men is becoming much more common within the framework of our contemporary society. Never before has there been such an emphasis on the affairs of the young, running the gamut from reports on the runaway hippies to multimillion dollar advertising campaigns aimed at directing their buying habits and preferences.
In the area of modern advertising, we find that the young girl is being bombarded with pleas that she grow up and buy constantly, pleas which almost always have distinct sexual overtones. Special cosmetics, some of which are allegedly blended for "problem skin," toothpastes which insure that he will "kiss you again," an endless stream of mouthwash and hair coloring commercials are all directed at the juvenile female just becoming aware of her sexuality. Miniskirts, hot-pants, bare-midriff dresses, no-bra looks, and so on all contribute to
1) Tonnor, J. M. Growth at Adolescence. Springfield, IL, Chariot M. Thomas, 1962 the development of sex-awareness in the pre-teenage girl.
There seems to be little-likelihood that this situation will change, especially with the general current feeling that the most important thing in life is nothing more than completely uninhibited sexual freedom. The young girl in our society is becoming more and more aware of her rights to sexual self-expression and freedom in selecting her own time, place and personae for sexual experimentation.
In the "old days" the family dictated when a daughter would marry and to whom. Today, because of the rapid disintegration of family life, the young girl in high school thinks of herself as being completely adult, and demands the adult right to determine her own sexual destiny.
The situation of younger girls becoming sexually involved with older men is certainly nothing new in history. One of the most famous young seductresses in history was Cleopatra, ruler of the Nile. The woman who conquered the hearts and souls of both Julius Caesar and Mark Antony, was only fourteen according to historical documentation. At the time they met her, Julius Caesar was fifty-four and Mark Antony was forty years of age.
In the last century it was assumed that women were helpless, defenseless and totally innocent of the "facts of life." There was a clearly marked line dividing the affairs of the marital bed and the extramarital affairs of the man, and many a mother took her young daughter aside and explained the facts of life, as they were then, to her. These facts were that a woman must dutifully submit to the sexual advances of her husband even though, the mother would assure her, they would be disgusting and animal-like. She also must never admit to any suspicions or knowledge of her husband's extramarital activities, and she would cheerfully bear and raise a houseful bf children for him. That the husband would have extramarital affairs was beyond question, because it was known to be in the very nature of man for him to have such affairs.
This, of course, was a self-completing circle. Men were expected to have extramarital affairs, so, of course, they did have them. As more and more sexual freedom was exercised, it became common for young boys to engage in ever earlier sexual experiences. Young girls, though, were definitely excluded from this sort of activity. "Good" girls didn't do such things.
It took a long time for this double standard to be eliminated, if indeed it has been completely eliminated even today. With the at least partial disappearance of these standards there has been a swing to the opposite extreme in sexual behavior. The present attitude that whatever is sexually enjoyable should be enjoyed without restraint, because tomorrow we may all become radioactive ashes, has done away with long courtship rituals and even longer engagements, which were so common only two generations ago. Effective contraceptive devices, followed by the introduction of the Pill, reduced the possibility of premature or unplanned pregnancy. Suddenly there was no longer any effective restraint on the open expression of sexuality by any girl old enough to engage in sexual intercourse.
In today's society-many say because of the laxity of contemporary moral standards, the almost constant indoctrination by the advertising companies which stress the position that completely uninhibited sexual behavior is not the crime it was once thought to be, the desire of young people to belong to and identify with peer groups engaging in activities which protest against strict sexual conventionality-there are more and more "under-age" girls getting involved in sexual relationships with older men.
Studies of the many case histories of young girls who have become involved, through conscious choice, in sexual affairs with older men show that quite often it is not the child of the broken home, the ghetto, or the lower classes. More often it is the girl from a high-income home who has had the best of material comforts and education. Frequently, the girl will enter into a situation such as this simply because it is nothing more than a game to her. A game and a challenge. The fact that she is able to seduce and hold an older man is flattering to her growing female ego. It allows her to identify with adult women, especially her mother, making her feel that she is the equal, and perhaps even the superior, to the adult who challenges her.
In effect, this is a delayed reaction to the development of the Oedipus complex in the child. Early in her sexual development she discovers that there is a marked physical difference between boys and girls, and that, as a girl, she is not equipped with a penis. This leaves her with the feeling that she has been physically "shortchanged," that she is not as well equipped physically as a boy. Drs. John E. Mack and Elvin V. Semrad explain what happens from this point:
Typically, the little girl reacts to this discovery with an intense sense of loss and injury and with envy of the male. And at this point, the mother, who had previously been an object of love, is held responsible for bringing her into the world less well equipped and engenders hostility so intense that it may persist. With the further discovery that the mother lacks this vital organ as well, her devaluation becomes even more profound. In an attempt to make up for her "inadequacy" the little girl turns to her father, in the hope that he will give her a penis, or a baby in place of the missing penis. 1
While the girl will very-likely be able to make no effect or impression sexually on her
1) Freedman, Alfred A. and Kaplan, Harold I. (editors). The Comprehensive Textbook of Psychiatry. Baltimore. Md.: Williams and Wilkins Co., 1947. father, if this conflict is not resolved she may later look at all older prospective bed-mates as father substitutes. With every conquest she is, in her mind, conquering her mother by taking her father away through her sexual appeal.
There is no question in the minds of psycho-sexual researchers that the combination of innocent-appearing youth and sexual precociousness is quite overpowering to the mature man, especially a man in his forties or fifties. A young girl can, completely without malice, utterly destroy the reputation, and even the life, of a man should she manage to seduce him, and should that seduction become public knowledge.
The threat which the young girl, bent on sexual adventure poses to the older man she has chosen, is an extremely serious one, since the man is constantly in danger of being arrested and charged with statutory rape, or, at the very least, contributing to the delinquency of a minor. Most of these young girls who become involved with older men are quite well aware of this, and there are times when they are capable of using this knowledge ruthlessly to their own advantage.
The principal problem confronting the mature man, who cannot always differentiate between a beautiful and appealing young girl just over the legal age of consent and a girl who has not yet reached that important legal age, is that the girl herself often takes a hand in adding to his multiple distractions. Through her overt sexual behavior she may get the man so sexually "excited" that he fails to take proper precautions in determining her possible age, or through the use of makeup and an adult mode of dress, she may manage to appear older than her actual age. When a susceptible older man runs up against a girl of this nature-with nothing but thoughts of seduction in her mind-he is in for a lot of trouble, emotional as well as legal.
CHAPTER ONE
Always With a Grin
"I still haven't figured out why to this day, but from about the time I was twelve years old my dad and I just didn't get along any more. It seemed as though we were constantly fighting about one thing or another, and I sure didn't get any help from my mother. She was too wrapped up in her bridge club and bowling league and the Community Activities Council to care about what was happening to me, or how much Dad and I were fighting.
"Actually, Dad wasn't a bad father. Don't let me give you that impression, 'cause it would be wrong. The rent was always paid, there was always plenty of food in the house, and I had a full closet of clothes to wear. As a matter-of-fact, whenever Dad and I weren't fighting he was always buying me new things, and there was always a big present of some kind for me the day after we had an argument. He even gave me a pretty good allowance. It was just that he seemed to disapprove of everything I did, and everyone I knew. All of my girlfriends from school were 'tramps' and 'sluts' according to him, and I wasn't allowed to bring any of them to the house. He wouldn't even discuss giving me permission to go out with any of the boys I knew from school. I had a lot of requests for dates, too, since, even if I do say so myself, I was pretty good looking and awfully well developed physically.
"That business about me not being allowed to have any boyfriends led to one of my biggest problems, and led to a later happening that was just plain terrible. You see, I developed physically sort of early, like, I had pretty good breasts by the time I was eleven, and by the time I was fourteen I was building up a lot of unreleased sexual tension.
"From the girl-talk that went on about sex and boys in school and our sex education class, I had a pretty good idea what sex was all about, and it didn't take me long to discover the pleasures of masturbation. As a matter-of-fact, playing with myself until I had an orgasm became an almost every night thing with me after a while. It was the only way I had to work off my building sexual frustrations.
"At first I would just rub on my clitoris with my thumb and roll my fingers over the lips of my vagina, poking the tips inside a little ways only to pick up a little moisture, which sure did smell sexy and feel good when I rubbed the slippery juice on the small, tight button of my clit. As the years went by, though, I started going farther and farther with my masturbation. Soon I began sticking one finger up inside my tight hole while I used my other hand to play around with my clit, and by the time I got to the point where I was doing this every night my cunt was relaxed and opened enough that it didn't hurt much anymore, or if it did hurt the pain was completely hidden behind the wall of strong sexual pleasure I was feeling.
"Of course, it didn't take very many months of this sort of activity before it started getting old and sort of boring, and more and more I found my thoughts turning to the questions and fantasies of what it would be like to have a man playing with me like that. I wasn't really interested then in the idea of having sexual intercourse with a man. I still had the starry-eyed idea of 'saving' it for my eventual husband, whoever he might have turned out to be, but I really did dig on the idea of having a man masturbate me.
"I even knew which man I wanted for the job.
Mr. A--. Eric A-, my sex education class teacher. Thinking back about it now, five years after all these things were happening, I'll be damned if I can understand why I was so interested in him, rather than in one of the boys that
I went to school with. He certainly wasn't anything special as a man, and not near as handsome as some of the boys who were chasing me, without luck. Maybe it was the subject he taught. Sitting there in the classroom, listening to him talking about sex and having all kinds of erotic daydreams really turned me on. There were several times when I had to ask to be excused from the class so I could go down to the girls' room and masturbate to an orgasm, just to keep from having one right there in class, complete with moans and groans. When I get hot I really lubricate, and I'm sure that I smell just like a bitch dog in heat. I guess it was all of these things that made him the natural choice when it came to having daydreams about doing things with a man. I really don't think I ever consciously planned to get anything going with Eric. It just sort of happened.
"One afternoon, after classes had let out, I decided to stop by this little restaurant a couple of blocks from school for a coke before going home. I liked the place because it wasn't where the other kids hung out. I always felt sort of out-of-place with a bunch of them, because they were always talking about going out, and making out, and things like that which were forbidden to me by my father. Things which I doubted then I would ever be allowed to do.
"I walked into the place, dropped my books on one of the seats, and sat down next to them at the counter. I was watching a young Mexican boy load dirty dishes into a tray, waiting for the waitress to finish taking another order, daydreaming about nothing, when I felt a hand on my shoulder, hot through the thin cloth of my blouse.
"It was Eric. He was about forty then, with sort of pale; pasty skin and bright blue eyes. His chin was square, but a little too short, and his body, though not fat, was sort of lumpy and flabby under his shiny blue suit. Not at all what I would call a good looking man today, but then I guess I was sort of in love with him.
" 'Can I buy you something, Heather?' he asked.
" 'Sure, a coke, if the waitress ever gets here.'
"Eric had sort of a strange tensed-like expression on his face, and all of a sudden, when he looked right at me, I could smell the sharp, pungent odor of alcohol on his breath. I wondered what was bothering him, what could be causing him to start drinking in the middle of the day. It wasn't long before I found out. He was just horny!
" 'How come a pretty girl like you is sitting here all alone? Have an argument with your boyfriend or something?'
" 'I don't have a boyfriend,' I answered. 'I just felt like being alone for a while before I went home.'
" 'Oh,' he said with a touch of sadness in his voice that made me feel sorry for him. 'I'll leave you alone, then.'
" 'Wait a minute. I'm sorry, Sir. I didn't mean that I didn't want to talk to you.' Without really thinking about it I stopped him from moving away by putting my hand on his leg, just above his knee, and I felt his whole body tense up. 'As a matter-of-fact, I'd like to talk to you about something. If we could go outside, or something, where other people can't overhear or interrupt....'
"I really don't know just what I had in mind, asking him that. My mouth was just sort of talking without me really thinking about what I was saying, or what my words meant.
" 'Well, I live right next door, and I guess I could invite you up to my apartment ... " He let his voice trail off, and I saw his face turning red. Suddenly I knew just what sort of thoughts were going through his mind, they were the same thoughts that were in mine. Thoughts that I hadn't wanted to admit I was thinking, even to myself.
" 'I don't do that kind of thing,' I said, at the same time pressing my hand tighter against his leg. At first he looked like he was very confused, then a smile broke across his face as our thoughts merged.
" 'Well, what kind of things do you do?' he asked with a smile.
" 'I'll make you come,' I said, holding my breath at the startling audacity of my words, 'but I won't let you inside of me.' I couldn't believe I was actually saying the words that I was hearing.
"His face got even redder and I felt his hand trembling where it was still resting on my shoulder. He stood up, wrapped his fingers around my upper arm, pulling slightly, and said, 'Let's go.'
"Neither of us said a word as we left the restaurant, walked a few yards along the sidewalk, then turned into a large apartment building. Eric's apartment turned out to be on the second floor. He seemed to have a little trouble fitting the key into the lock, probably because his hands were shaking even more now than they had been in the restaurant, and when the door opened I saw that it was really a pretty small apartment, with the only really nice feature being a big window overlooking the large pool in the center of the building and the tree-covered patio area.
"Eric walked over to the window and pulled the curtains closed. I watched him as he walked back towards me like I was watching a zoom-in close up of a movie character, unable to move, frozen to one spot in the center of the living room.
" 'Remember,' I said, 'you can't come inside of me,' warning him again that I intended, perhaps irrationally, to remain a virgin. Actually, I guess I trusted him pretty much, or I wouldn't have been there.
"He led me into the bedroom, then sat down on the edge of the bed and took off his shoes and socks. I watched him as he stood up again and began taking off his clothes, and I started removing mine. I unbuttoned my blouse and unzipped my skirt, and a flash of naked skin caught his attention, drawing his eyes to my body. My shoes came off, to be kicked across the room, and I turned my back to him. 'Help me with this, will you, Sir?'
"I felt his fingers pushing under the strap of my bra, then the strap loosened as he released the catch and the cups fell away from my breasts. The feel of the material of my bra rubbing against my nipples sent a hot flush of sexual excitement through my body, and from behind me he reached under my arms and pulled my bra completely off.
"He dropped it and cupped my breasts for a second in his hot palms, then stepped back away from me, and I pushed my skirt down over my hips, letting it fall to the floor. My fingers caught at the slick nylon of my panties and they slid smoothly down over the skin of my thighs, sending additional thrills through my body. I raised one foot, then the other, and I was completely naked.
"Eric was laying on the bed, naked except for his shorts. His cock was already hard, poking up at the material. He raised his hips, pulling his shorts down, then sat up and pulled them down over his legs, throwing them to the floor and at the same time looking up at me with a smile of anticipation on his face.
"The size of his cock amazed me. I'd seen photographs of them before, in the books we used in the sex education class, but I hadn't really realized how big they actually were. Eric's was at least eight inches long, over an inch in diameter, and the veins on it stood out like ivy growing up the side of a building. I couldn't take my eyes off it, and just stood there, looking, until he spoke, somewhat impatiently.
" 'What are you waiting for, Heather? You aren't scared, are you?'
"I forced myself to smile, more to reassure myself than to please or reassure Eric, and got onto the bed, laying down on top of him. I could feel his hard cock between us, pressing against the sensitive skin of my stomach. The curly hair around the base of his organ tickled my belly, and I could feel the heat of it flooding into my body, filling my veins with fire.
"His hands cupped my ass, and I felt his fingers sliding down, between my legs, until one of them was pressed tightly against the lips of my cunt. I dropped my head, my lips going to his, pressing against him, choking back a gasp of excitement as his tongue shot into my mouth. I pressed my body tightly against him, molding my form to his as a finger slid between the hotly wet lips of my cunt, seeking and finding the hardened button of my clitoris, then plunging deep into my vagina.
"Eric's finger began a slow pumping in and out of my cunt, and at the same time his other hand came around from my ass to cup one of my tender breasts, teasing the nipple with his palm, then flicking it with the tips of his fingers until it was pebble hard.
"Wiggling and moving his body he shifted down under my pinning weight until his mouth was close to my breasts. Without taking his finger from between my legs he shifted around on the bed until his lips were right at my nipples, teasing them with soft brushes from the tip of his tongue, biting softly at them. His mouth opened wide, tongue licking hungrily at the nipple, then he sucked my breast fully into his mouth, and I thought for a minute I was going to come right then it felt so good.
"His right leg lifted a little, and I felt the sole of his foot rub lightly down my calf. His tongue, his foot, and his finger were sending tendrils of fire through my body, and my breath was coming in short, sharp gasps. This was like nothing I had ever felt before.
" 'Okay,' I heard him say, almost as if he was talking to himself. His hand was pushing at my stomach, as if he was trying to get me to move back, so I moved with his push, not knowing what he wanted me to do but willing to cooperate in anything, and he rolled me over until I was laying on my back on the bed next to him.
" 'Do you want me to go down on you?' he asked. I nodded and tried to relax. I had begun to tense up when he had laid me on my back, and my outstretched legs had closed a bit without me thinking about it at all, a piece of mental fear which I guess is natural for any first-time sexual experience. A completely unconscious reaction to what was happening to my inexperienced body.
"His head moved down, his tongue leaving a sharp trail of wet, chilled fire across the skin of my ribs and belly. The tip of it flashed into my navel, twisting and turning there for the briefest of seconds, then continued downwards, drawing a line of hot sexual excitement along my skin right to the edge of my pubic hair, right where my skin was most sensitive to his touch.
"I felt that loving tongue of his brushing gently back and forth at the wet lips of my cunt, and without thinking about it I spread my legs apart again ... spread them as wide as I could, begging him with my actions to put his loving tongue, that beautiful tongue, deep inside my burning body. I could feel the small nub of my clit throbbing with sexual excitement, and the blood was beating so hard in my veins that it almost drowned out the harsh sounds of my ragged breathing and moaning cries of pleasure.
"A small drop of icy-feeling saliva touched my clitoris, sending a shudder of intense feeling through me, and his breath, brushing against the hot wetness of my cunt, was like small titillating flakes of snow. I shuddered and dug my heels into the resilient surface of the mattress.
"While his tongue brushed back and forth through and between the lips of my pussy, entering me no more than a quarter of an inch, his hand came down and his fingertips began to prod at the nub of my clit. He took the sensitive little piece of erectile tissue between his thumb and forefinger, rolling it gently. My hips were grinding out a sensuous counter-rhythm, and I brought my legs up, bending them at the knees and pressing them in to squeeze his head and hand, to draw them deeper into my hot snatch.
"Once again Eric used his hands to direct a change of position, and when we stopped moving around I was, to all intents and purposes, sitting on his face, my knees pressed into his armpits, my cunt pressed against his lips.
"For long seconds Eric didn't do anything except lay there, breathing at my hot slit, and I could feel little shakes and shudders going through my body, shakes and shudders that I didn't have the slightest chance of controlling. Then he used his fingers to spread my lips apart, brought his mouth up close, and blew into me like he was blowing up a balloon. I thought I was going to come apart!
"I grabbed the back of his head, twisting my fingers into his hair, and pulled his mouth tight against me. He knew what I wanted, and he gave it to me. His tongue sank full-length into my cunt, sucking and slurping, getting in there as deep as it would go. Eric rubbed the tip of it back and forth across my clit, then sank it in deep again.
"I could hear myself moaning and I began to move my hips back and forth. He stayed right in time with my movements, spearing deep into me faster and faster. A small, white hot ball of fire began to form inside of me, burning my body and putting a film of red flashes over my vision, and I knew that I was about to come.
"Suddenly it happened. My whole body seemed to be locked in one titanic cramp and waves of ecstasy rolled through me. Every little muscle in my vagina seemed to be quivering, and I felt an additional hot wetness pouring through my cunt. I could feel Eric sucking madly, pulling that love juice down and into his mouth, scraping it from the flashing walls of my cunt with his frantically moving tongue. For a minute I thought that it was all over, but my body wasn't ready to stop yet. The convulsions that had passed through my very being slowed, but I was still as hot, as sexually excited, as I had been before the orgasm, and I knew I was going to come again and again.
"Once more Eric seemed to want to change position. He dropped his hands to my hips and began to lift me up. I used my leg muscles to help him, and he turned me around, still sitting above him, but now facing his feet. I knew that what he had done for me was the greatest thing that any man could do for a woman, and now I wanted to do the same thing for him. I knew what I had to do, almost instinctively.
"His cock was sticking straight up like a flagpole, big and hot, and there was a small, pearly drop of creamy liquid right on the tip of it, covering the little hole. I bent over it and began to kiss the head of his prick, working around that little drop, running my tongue around the ridge behind the head, then down the side of it over those swollen veins. The small, wiry clumps of hair around the base of his cock began to tickle my nose when I got down near the bottom, and I had to fight off an urge to sneeze.
"He was working away at me again with his tongue, and I knew that it wasn't going to be long before I came again. I began working my tongue up and down along the sides of his cock faster and faster, savoring the hot, sweat-salt taste of it, and I could hear him beginning to groan and feel his hot breath blowing against my burning wet vagina faster and faster. I slowly brought my lips back to the head of his cock, and lightly, lovingly, I licked off that little drop of love-juice. The taste of it, sort of hot and salty, did something to my insides, something that almost drove me nuts.
"Without thinking about it I opened my mouth and let my lips slide down over the head of Eric's lovely cock. It was so long that I knew there was no way I was going to get it all into my mouth, but I was sure going to try!
"I slowly let that hard,, hot piece of meat slide into my mouth, working my tongue around the head of it, taking in more and more of it. When the head was all the way back at the opening of my throat I felt him stiffen and his hands came up to the back of my head, pressing down. I relaxed the muscles at the back of my throat as much as I could, then relaxed my neck muscles and let him push, feeling his cock sliding back into my throat, all the way, until my lips were brushing against the ring of hair at the base of it.
"I sucked in my cheeks, remembering what some of the girls had said about giving head, rubbing them against the sides of his cock, feeling the bumps and ridges, loving it, loving the feel and the taste and the smell, and especially loving what his tongue was still doing down between my legs. Shooting in and out, sucking on me, just like I was sucking on him, both of us moaning and groaning and shaking and twisting and quivering as we both reached for the ultimate peak.
"I was busy sliding my lips up and down on his cock, taking my mouth all the way out to the head, biting a little at the ridge behind it, then sliding my lips back down over it again until his hot cock was all the way back, buried once again deep in my throat. I tried another little trick I had heard about. When I had his cock all the way back, into my throat so deep that my lips were pressed tight against the skin around the base, crushing the tight, curly hair, I began to hum softly, vibrating that little piece of hanging flesh at the back of my throat, my tongue, and my cheeks against the flesh of his cock. It must have had a strong effect on Eric, because suddenly he was pressing much harder against my cunt, his tongue shooting in and out so fast I thought it was going to catch fire from the friction.
"I started my up and down motion on his cock again, continuing the humming, and then, when I was about half-way down on a stroke, his hips suddenly jerked upwards, jamming his cock into my mouth and throat so hard that for a moment I thought I was going to gag.
"Suddenly that long, hard, hot piece of meat was pumping and jerking and jumping inside my mouth, pouring a boiling-hot flood of come into my mouth and throat in hot, hard spurts that seemed to force the fluid down my throat. I heard myself growl, almost like a cat, as I shoved my mouth down tight around the base of his cock, biting at it a little, sucking at him hard, trying to get it all out of him, then coming again myself. My whole body seemed to be on fire this time, burning like someone was playing a torch over my skin, and I could feel the muscles in my thighs and between my legs cramping and knotting as I ground down on his face, trying to force more and more of his flashing tongue into my spasming cunt.
"My climax seemed to go on and on, getting stronger and stronger with each passing second, just as his cock seemed to keep pumping more and more of that deliciously hot and salty fluid into my mouth and throat. Then, after what seemed like hours, it was over. I brought my head back, sliding my lips up over his cock, then kissed the head of it as it slid out of my mouth, cleaning the gleaming wetness of it with my tongue before collapsing with exhaustion.
"I don't know how long I laid there, completely unable to move, but it must have been at least half an hour. Finally I felt some strength returning to my still shaking body. I rolled over to the edge of the bed, and almost groaning with effort I stood up. I was a little shaky at first, but after a few minutes I felt strength flowing back into my body, and a few minutes later I was fully dressed and ready to leave.
"I looked back at Eric, still laying flat on his back on the bed. He hadn't moved since that last draining climax, and I wondered for a minute if he had fallen asleep. Then I saw that his eyes were open, looking at me.
" 'I'll see you in class tomorrow, Sir.'
"He didn't say a thing, and I began to think that I must have done something awfully wrong, and that he was mad at me. I turned to walk out the bedroom door, and as I did he finally spoke.
" 'Thank you, Heather. Thank you very, very much.' I knew then, both by what he said and the tone in which he said it, that I had done okay. It felt sort of silly, and I got some funny looks outside, but I couldn't stop the big grin that seemed to be permanently molded onto my face."
In examining this case history we find that there are two people involved who are interesting from a psychosexual standpoint. Heather, and her father. Heather's father obviously suffers from severe incestuous drives directed towards his daughter, and we will look into these drives later in this chapter. First, let us examine Heather's situation.
The most surprising thing about Heather's sexuality is the fact that it is an almost textbook development, following almost exactly the guidelines set down by Dr. Sigmund Freud regarding infant and adolescent sexuality.
Of all of the many theories advanced by Freud, the concepts he expounded regarding the erotic life of infants, young children, and adolescents have undoubtedly aroused the most active and continued opposition. Indeed, even in our contemporary society, many of the more sophisticated and advanced psychiatrists and psychologists react with complete incredulity and disbelief to any published reports of sexual material in clinical demonstrations of childhood sexual neuroses.
One of the main reasons for the initial opposition to Freud's theories regarding infantile sexuality was that it threatened to undermine one of the most cherished beliefs and ideals of his time, the late 19th century. The ideals centered around the innocence of children. Moreover, the belief that children, and especially pre-teenage children, are somehow above and untouched by sexual desires and longings still persists today, and not only by the psychologically uneducated. Under the circumstances, the theory of infantile sexuality outlined by Freud is certainly an outstanding example of the high degree of courage Freud consistently demonstrated in the face of actively hostile public and professional opinion.
Freud first became convinced of the direct relationship between sexual traumata experienced in childhood and the later psychopathology, as a result of his early investigations into the psychology of the "actual neuroses," that is, hypochondriasis, neurasthenia and anxiety neuroses. These psychological studies led him to an awareness of the great importance of the various sexual factors in the etiology of psychoneuroses. With ever-increasing clinical experience to draw upon, Freud was able to completely reconstruct those early sexual experiences, responses and fantasies of his subjects. These data provided the framework for his developmental theories regarding childhood sexuality, which in the seventy years since then, has been corroborated in many respects by direct observation in clinical and social psychiatric and psychological studies.
Quite apart from the various data he had extracted from his clinical observations, Freud based his theories of infantile and childhood sexuality on the self-analysis he began in 1897 and continued for an undetermined period. The psychosexual insights he acquired in the course of his self-analysis regarding his own erotic longings in childhood and his conflicts in relation to his parents clearly suggested that, in all-likelihood, these phenomena were not restricted to the neurotic and psychosexually pathological patients, but to psychosexually "normal" people as well, since in their early years they underwent similar developmental sequences.
Freud completed his initial formulations regarding all the essential phases of infantile sexual development before the turn of the century. Nevertheless, Three Essays on the Theory of Sexuality, containing a complete account of his then startling views on infant sexuality, did not appear in print until 1905. Even more surprising is the fact that his detailed discussion of the sexual development of children and adolescents-including the pre-genital organization of the libido-and the libido theory itself, appeared for the first time in print in the third edition of Three Essays, 10 years later.
While Freud often used the term sexuality in these essays in the familiar sense, to refer to the erotic life of the individual, he extended the general concept of sexuality to emotions and activities which were not typically considered to be of a sexual nature, and to those parts of the body which were not usually associated with eroticism.
Freud noted that infants were capable of erotic activity from birth, and he described the various stages of sexual development, I) through the first four years of life, 2) into the latency period-at which almost all sexual development comes to a halt-and 3) to the renewal of development at the time of puberty. With the onset of puberty, at approximately ll years of age, there is renewed growth of the genital organs and a resurgence of the sexual drive. The child enters into what we normally refer to as sexuality and sexual experimentation.
Freud's theories show clearly that the onset of sexual experimentation can be expected to begin at any time from the development of puberty, at approximately age eleven. Normally this sexual experimentation is drawn out over a period of years. The adolescent becomes progressively more and more "daring," until finally he or she engages in actual sexual intercourse. Cultural and social pressures against sexual promiscuity are considered to be the prime factors in holding back immediate development of the sexual experimentation stage, spreading it over a period of several years.
These pressures are strong enough to prevent most children from going directly from puberty to experience. In Heather's case, however, the strain imposed upon her not to take part in the normal sexual explorations of adolescence-her father's refusal to allow her to date-broke down the restraints normally erected by the social and cultural pressures. Without these restraints it was only natural for her to advance through the modes of sexual experimentation as fast as opportunity presented.
As we stated earlier, Heather's father obviously entertained strong incestuous feelings toward his daughter. Such incestuous desires are quite common phenomena in clinical studies of sexual malorientation. Many fathers are deeply, sexually, in love with their daughters, but in almost all cases they have erected extremely strong defensive walls against such desires. These walls are so strong, that even the most innocent expressions of affections-expressions as nonsexual as a goodnight kiss-may give rise to feelings of great anxiety in the father, an anxiety which is easily transformed to rage.
Clinical examinations of cases involving father-daughter incest have shown that in almost every instance the mother had defected from her central position in the household, either because she is dominated by the daughter or because she has sought out outside activities to take her away from the home as much as possible.
"I hadn't realized how late it had gotten until I got to the sidewalk outside Eric's apartment. I should have been home hours before, and I knew that my lateness was going to cause one hell of an argument with my father.
"I ran most of the way from Eric's to the house, slowing to a walk two blocks from home so I wouldn't get there all out of breath. When I turned in the walkway I noticed that dad's car was in the driveway, but that the garage was empty. Mom was gone somewhere, probably to one of her meetings.
"Dad was sitting, waiting for me, on the porch, and as I climbed the five steps from the yard he stood up and started towards me. His face was red and before he said a word I knew that he was so mad I was probably going to get a beating.
" 'Where the hell have you been, you little slut? Out screwing around with one of those punk kids from school?' His voice was harsh and a little slurred, and I didn't have to smell his breath to know that he'd been drinking.
"Before I even got to the top step he was at me, grabbing me by the arm and pulling me across the porch. I struggled against him, dropping my books on the steps, but my strength was no match for his. He shoved me through the door, into the house, kicking the door closed behind us.
"Once inside he released me, spinning me around and slapping me, hard. I staggered back away from him, then tried to get past him, reaching for the door, but he stepped back, blocking my escape. I backed away from him, so afraid I couldn't speak, watching him as he unbuckled his belt.
"I thought he was going to beat me with his belt, but that wasn't what he had in mind. He was much drunker than I had thought, and with mind-numbing shock I watched him slide down the zipper on his pants, dropping them, exposing the hard cock that was pushing through the slot in his shorts. He stepped out of his pants, grinning now, and started towards me. I backed away, stopping only for a second to pick up a vase from the table to throw at him.
"He evaded the missile easily, then lunged forward, grabbing me from behind as I turned to run, twisting me around until I was facing him again. His face came down to mine and he pressed his lips tight against my mouth. When he tried to force his tongue between my lips I bit him, at the same time bringing my knee up into his crotch. I was just slightly off target, and my knee connected with the inside of his thigh before sliding up against his balls.
"He lurched back, an expression of pain and strong anger flashing across his face at what I had done, and, with a minute of freedom I turned and snatched up the first thing that came to hand, a heavy leather belt that was laying across the back of a chair.
"I got in one swing with it, cutting his face badly, then he was back at me, twisting the belt out of my hands. He stepped back, his arm came up, and he brought the belt, with the heavy buckle at the end, slashing across my face. It was only luck that kept the buckle from cutting my face wide open, but even so the leather left a fiery welt across my skin that made the whole world seem to explode in an agony of red fire.
"Again and again he swung the belt at me, hitting me on the chest and arms, forcing me backwards, out of the living room and into a bedroom. As I backed up, step by step, trying to shield my face and breasts from the blows of the belt with my arms and hands, I could hear myself moaning and crying from the pain he was inflicting on my body." Suddenly my retreat was blocked by the bed, and with one final, heavy blow from the belt, the buckle smashing against the side of my head, I fell, stunned.
"Through a red haze of pain I saw dad pull his shorts completely off, working them around his swollen cock. I tried to roll away, off the bed, but before I could move far dad was on top of me, his arm slamming across my throat, choking me and pinning me to the bed as his free hand yanked at the top of my blouse, ripping it off, exposing my bra-covered breasts. Another yank and the bra was gone. Although I was almost unconscious I kept on fighting him as he dipped his head downwards, kissing first one nipple, then the other, finally sucking one of my breasts deep into his mouth and biting at it with his teeth.
"I could do nothing to stop him as he pulled my skirt up around my waist, then yanked at the thin material of my panties, tearing it, then forcing his knee between my legs. I fought one hand free from his grip and raked my nails across his face, feeling the small splashes of heat as his blood dripped down on my face. Even fighting with all my strength, though, I was unable to stop him.
"He forced his other knee between my legs, then, using the strong muscles of his thighs and calves, he forced my legs to spread wide under him and brought his body down over mine. He pressed his cock against the patch of hair between my legs, but he wasn't in quite the right spot. I twisted and fought, trying to get out from under him, but then, suddenly, he was lined up right, and with a powerful thrust he pinned me to the bed, sliding and smashing that big cock deep into my dry cunt, tearing flesh and my hymen, pulling hair out by the roots. I could feel the wetness of blood, my blood, running across inside my thigh, but even that sensation was soon blocked out by the washing waves of pure pain as he ruthlessly pumped up and down on me, grinding away at my body, pushing his big cock all the way in, then sliding it almost all the way out, only to slam down on me again.
"His breath was coming in panting grunts and hot drops of sweat were running off his body in little rivers, dropping down onto my naked flesh. His eyes were closed and his heart was beating hard, almost matching the pumping in and out of his cock, and then, in only minutes, a groan, followed by a grunt of escaping breath and the feel of his cock pumping and jerking inside of me told me that he was finally finished. I could feel his hot juices flooding me, pouring through my vagina, trickling out along the base of his cock and flowing down along the crack of my ass.
"His cock, its job done, began to shrink at once, and he pulled it out of my body, rolling over and collapsing on the bed next to me, grinning as he saw the bloodstains on my legs and on the bedspread.
"He ran his hand down over my stomach, then between my legs, cupping my bleeding and dripping cunt. He slid a finger in, then pulled it out, lifted it to his face, then licked it clean with a big grin. Watching, afraid to move, I began to throw up all over the bed.
"Dad got up, looked down at me, and without saying a word walked out of the room. I could see him through the door as he picked up his pants and pulled them on, then stepped out the door.
"As soon as he was outside I fought my way up through the waves of pain, got off the bed, and staggered over to the dresser. There, in the bottom drawer, under some towels, was the gun he had brought back from his time in the Army. I took it and ran out into the living room, wanting, needing, to kill.
"I was too late.
"Dad stepped out the door onto the porch, still pulling up his zipper. He didn't notice my books, dropped on the top step. His feet tangled in them. He fell forward, down the steps. His body came to rest on the concrete of the walkway. His neck was twisted at an impossible angle. The grin was still on his face. Above, in the doorway, I was grinning, too."
Heather's father broke through the wall which forbids the expression of incestuous drives. This implies a complete lack of impulse control on his part, a lack which is typical of the most serious of psychopathological conditions. We can be reasonably sure that, had he not been accidentally killed, he would have had a breakdown shortly after his incestuous affair, which would have necessitated his confinement.
Heather, on the other hand, is still young enough and there is little doubt that-with competent psychiatric help-she will be able to put this event into the forgetfulness of the past and go on to lead a normal and sexually satisfying life.
CHAPTER TWO
Whatever Bonnie Wants
"You know, you sell cars and especially you sell used cars for a living, and you meet some strange people and see strange things.
"I met Gloria R-one night when she came by looking for something with four wheels and a rubber band. Sixty bucks tops. Old iron.
"And with her is her daughter, Bonnie. Now, Bonnie caught my eye right away. With those jugs of hers she'd catch the eye of a dead man. It wasn't just those melons. It was her long blonde wavy hair and her turned up nose and those wide blue eyes. Bonnie reminded me of a very young Marilyn Monroe. But she had a kind of unfinished look. Just a shade too much baby fat on her face, and she didn't have quite the sleek shape you knew was coming in another year.
"Gloria wears her hair short. She's blonde, too, and she has the jugs, but they're tired. You know? She's a low-paid drugstore clerk, divorced, trying to bring up the kid on that kind of salary. No way.
"I got to talking to Gloria about cars and things. Got to know her. Got her story. She attracted me. I liked her. She wasn't fooling herself. She didn't pretend. Honest and open. I like that. I don't see it much, in my business.
"I didn't have any iron on the lot cheap enough for Gloria. What kind of a car can you get for sixty bucks and about five a month payments? A junker.
"But I made a date with her, got her address, and started taking her and Bonnie to dinner maybe once a week, and to shows ... that kind of thing. I usually stayed at their place till Bonnie went to bed. Then Gloria and me'd watch some TV and wait for Bonnie to probably fall asleep, and we'd fool around on the sofa. Sometimes Gloria and me'd drive over to my place and fuck up a storm, with some trimmings.
"I'm in my late thirties. And Gloria is thirty-four. At that age she still looks damned good, even if there are some lines around her eyes coming in and her jugs sag some. They're still impressive as hell in a bra. Forty D-cup, I think she said once.
"But, every guy dreams in the back of his mind of getting some really fresh young stuff
-like Bonnie-ripe and lush and wide-eyed and sort of a virgin. Or at least not very experienced. Thirteen, fourteen, fifteen. Dangerous. Jailbait. But you dream about it, not very seriously. Even if you know a chick Tike that, you figure there's no chance, and even if you had a chance ... would you take it? But I had it with Bonnie! Wowie ... did I! It built up. And it was her doing. Her offer. Shit, you'd have to say she seduced me, almost.
"This night-oh, four months ago-I brought Gloria home from a show. Bonnie hadn't gone with us because it was a school night. We got in about twelve-thirty. Gloria checked to see if Bonnie was okay and asleep, then she started water for coffee for me, because I had a long drive home.
"And we sat on the sofa-an old green tweed thing with a curved back-and started kissing. Gloria loves to kiss. She's a very mouthy woman, and I'm not complaining. She loves to open her mouth wide and spread her lips out and sink her tongue into my mouth and let me suck it. Then she'll suck my tongue, too. That's what brings my pecker up!
"We were on that sofa and kissing like that, getting involved, tonguing like that, and I started to unbutton her blouse to get at her big jugs. Gloria was coming into her period or something, because she was a lot hotter that night, from less kissing, than I ever remember. She was clutching me, pressing against me ... and when I started on her blouse she whispered, 'I can do that, too, honey.' She dropped her hand on my pants sliding it up to my pecker. Gloria knows how to handle a man. Lots of girls don't. That was a fast go-ahead signal. I got her blouse open fast while she squeezed me like she had a cow's teat in her hands and was trying to get milk.
"Gloria wears stretch bras ... and when she walks her jugs get a good jiggle going sometimes, if the rhythm is right.
"She didn't want me to feel around with her bra on. She said, 'I'm horny as hell tonight. Get this out in the open for me.' She gave my pecker a special squeeze and then shifted away to get her blouse and bra off. I watched her as I unzipped and pulled out my log. She got off the blouse and laid it carefully on the back of the sofa, then leaned forward and unhooked that heavy bra. I could see those big jugs relax and sag away from her chest. She peeled the straps down her arms and the big white cups fell off all that white flesh.
"Gloria has the kind of nipples I like-hell, the kind all men like-big, puffy ones that stick out like they were made for a month. A man's mouth. She put the bra aside and turned to me. Her mouth smiled, wide and loose. She's got a sucker's mouth, Gloria has. I noticed it that first night. I can always tell a woman who-likes to suck peckers.
"Yeah, Bonnie's got the same kind of mouth!
"We took turns that night. I got my hands on those big, soft, white jugs and had me a ball ... leaned over and started sucking on those swollen nipples. Hers are like red berries. They stick out nice and hard. I sucked and squeezed and felt those jugs for about ten minutes, sometimes lifting my head to take her mouth and tongue.
"Her mouth got warmer and warmer, looser and looser. Her tongue was insane. She was breathing loose and fast.
"She said, 'My turn now, Vern. Let me ... for a minute....'
"Gloria loves to suck. No question, and she loves to fuck. She screws like a mink. She had one of those twists of plastic put in her womb so she wouldn't get pregnant.
"But I know why her old man divorced her. She has a habit of talking in movies, and jabbing a guy with her elbow when something funny or important happens on the screen. And she yaks a lot about nothing, just to yak. I couldn't live with that day in and day out, but I can stand it once or twice a week. Besides, she doesn't yak when she's sucking my pecker with that hot, loose, wild mouth of hers.
"This night I'm telling about, it was nearly one A.M. when she took hold of my pecker and bent over slow and easy to put it in her mouth. I said she knows how to handle a man. She has the know-how in her fingers. She just has that special touch that comes with wanting to please a guy. Can't be taught. It's a certain gentle, tender liking for a pecker, either in her hands or in her mouth or in her cunt.
"Gloria used both hands to stroke my log, with her fingertips, then with her hands and palms, before sliding those hot, loose lips over the head.
"Her head went down and I felt that tongue licking around and around, then her lips touching and ever-so-slowly going down over the head. Then it was in her hot mouth. And her tongue kept on sliding around. Her lips were tight on it. She didn't have to do anything but that for five minutes, and I could come.
"But Gloria was an artist at it. She liked to very slowly fill her mouth with my pecker, as much as she could take without gagging, and all the time her tongue was eeling and curling. Then she'd pull her mouth up slowly and almost give up the head. Then down ... slowly ... I'm telling you ... that was out of this world. All I did was pet her hair and stroke her back and enjoy it.
"She was getting going good. I could tell she was enjoying using her mouth from her breathing. She was fondling the bottom half of my pecker with her fingers, and dipping into my pants to play with my nuts. I was laying back, slumped down in the cushions, simply enjoying her sucking me. I had my eyes half closed. Had my left hand in her hair. She was facing down, and facing away from the hallway and the kitchen. The TV was on low. Carson, I think, getting ready to sign off.
"Suddenly I heard a slight sound from the hallway. I looked over and there was Bonnie walking into the room like nothin's happening.
"She was three-quarters asleep. Scratching her long blonde hair, eyes almost closed, head down. She didn't see me at first. I don't think she realized anything.
"What knocked me out was this ... she wasn't wearing her pajama top. There she was naked to the waist! With those big, young half-tanned jugs hanging on her chest side by side like perfectly ripe white melons with small pink stems sticking out.
"I guess I made a sound. A gasp maybe. Gloria thought I was just appreciating her sucking.
"Bonnie was on her way to the kitchen to get a glass of water or milk or something to eat ... who knows. But she saw me and she slowed down and blinked and saw me! And she saw what Gloria was doing for me. She heard it, too, because that kind of sucking makes a nice wet sound. Bonnie took a few seconds to take it in, to realize what was going on.
"I didn't say or do a thing. My mind was going like greased lightning. I decided to let it happen. Whatever.
"Bonnie's eyes widened. They got big and round. Her hand came up and covered her mouth. Her eyes went from my face to her mother's slowly rising and falling head. Then she blushed. Her face got pink. Then she realized she was bare to the waist. She met my eyes for a long second. She looked so shocked! She brought her arms and elbows together to cover her jugs, then she turned like she'd been goosed and ran silently back into the hall and into the bedroom. She had sense enough not to slam the door.
"I'll bet she didn't sleep much that night. I'll bet she stood by that door and listened.
"I didn't tell Gloria a thing. Gloria was still sucking me, still lolling that fine tongue of hers around my pecker while she moved her hot mouth up and down on me.
"The incident aroused me. I kept seeing Bonnie's eyes, her mouth, her hair ... and those big, beautiful jugs. Fourteen years old and jugs like that! She didn't even need a bra. Not to hold them up. They had that firmness of flesh that comes with ripening.
"Gloria's good sucking got to me. I started to get that no-control melting pleasure in my lower guts. I knew another few seconds ... another four or five dips of her head and swirls of her tongue and I'd be too far gone to stop her.
"She wouldn't have cared too much if I'd've shot off in her mouth. I've done it lots of times. She turns my stomach a little sometimes when I do it. She gets wild when it happens. She snorts and breathes heavy through her nose and sucks-riding her mouth up and down on my pecker as fast and as far down as she can-and when I shoot my stuff off into her mouth she makes moaning noises in her throat, and her sucking gets even more wet and sticky sounding.
"She doesn't spit it out like most girls. She swallows it. I try not to watch. Sometimes I hear her throat working.
"But-anyway-that night. After Bonnie saw Gloria sucking me and I got so near to shooting, I said, 'Better stop and let me cool down.' I lifted her head up. 'I want to fuck you in a couple minutes.'
"She sat up. Her mouth was wet. She wiped her lips with the back of her arm. She asked me, 'like that?'
"I said she knew damned well I liked it. I started sucking up her jugs again, working on the nipples. I wondered if Bonnie would sneak down the hall and peek.
"I patted her capris and she opened them and pushed them down and kicked them off while I licked her nipples. She squirmed down her panties, too.
"Gloria has a wide, thick muff of hair on her between the legs. like a jungle. Blonde jungle.
"But her cunt is loose like her mouth when she's hot. It's wet and slippery. She oozes, sometimes, she gets so hot.
"When she got her panties off she spread open her legs. I got my hand down into her crotch and started finger fucking her. I've got a way of sliding my finger in and rubbing my palm over the lips and rubbing her hotspot, too. She starts to suck in her belly and work her hips like she's fucking, only slow and smooth, like she's got ball bearings in oil in her joints.
"I got the finger into her easy. She was eager for it, and I started feeling for the end of her cunt with my fingertip. There's a spot in there that she says sends sparkles through her when I touch it. like it's another hot spot of hers.
"I sucked on her nipples and fingered her. She squirmed and wriggled her hips, slow, like it was a luxury. Gloria likes to do things slow in sex, except when she goes off. Then it's gang-busters.
"She moaned low and throaty as I worked on her. I managed to touch that spot way up in her cunt and she gave a weird little shiver. She gasped. Her crotch started to get sloppy after about ten minutes of that. She was moaning louder, too,-and her hand was clutching my arm ... relaxing and tightening as I worked my finger in her.
"Gloria whispered, 'Let's do it now, Vern.' That was okay with me. My pecker was 'cool' and I was a little tired of sucking her nipples.
"She slipped off the sofa to the floor-onto an oval braided rug that covers most of the floorand she took one of the small pillows that always get in the way on a sofa. Gloria was stark naked. A hell of a good looking woman. While she got that pillow set under her ass, I took off my shoes and slipped off my pants, and underwear.
"My log was stiffening up good. I got on my knees between her legs. She reached for it with both hands and started that milking touch of hers, slow and gentle. Gloria said, 'You really can get me off with this thing, Vern.'
"I leaned down on my elbows and kissed that loose, sexy mouth of hers. I said, 'You like my big log, hmm?' She smiled and nodded. She put one hand on my ass and guided my pecker with the other when I pushed to get into her.
"I am pretty big. Long and thick. A hot model with a nine inch stroke. Wide bore. No brakes once it gets started. Free demonstration rides. Gloria is a satisfied customer. Anyway, she loves my pecker sunk into her as far as I can get it in, and that's total.
"She starts with her legs wide and flat, and in that position I can't get but about five inches in. She-likes it slow and easy, to get used to it, and to just enjoy the feel of it. She-likes to take her time. Gloria taught me that ... take your time and really feel the pleasure in slow fucking and sucking. Why go for broke to get to the climax? The climax only lasts a few seconds and then you're all through.
"I sank my log into her and felt the hot juiciness of her cunt, and the inside tightness and looseness in places. A cunt isn't the same all the way in. She has a deep cunt, and it changes.
"Gloria started her low, throat moans. Her hands both were on my ass, pulling me into her cunt, slow and easy, and she lifted her head up off the rug every now and then to kiss me with her hot, loose mouth and tongue.
"Then she started to pull her knees up, little by little, and let me drill into her a little bit deeper, and deeper.
"She's a great fuck, I can't take that away from her. The way we were laying, I could look up and see the hallway doorway over the end of the sofa. Gloria couldn't, unless she bent her head back and tried looking at it upside down.
"I watched the doorway every once in a while, to see if Bonnie was peeking. I didn't spot her. But she had to be listening.
"I started fucking Gloria a bit deeper and faster. She started her sweet little grunting and pulled her knees up till her feet were in the air, jerking and waving over my back as I drilled into her cunt all the way.
"I mean all the way. I was screwing the whole nine inches up into her cunt, feeling that ripply insides, those squeezing muscles and that spasmy place that shivered her.
"Gloria's moans got too loud and shaky. She covered her mouth with her hands. Her eyes got hot and far away at the same time.
"I was hunched over her, socking the big fat log into her! There was a wet, smacking sound each time. It sent shocks of pleasure through us both. Me feeling that tightness and spasming at the end of her cunt, and her feeling ... whatever she felt. It was strong and wild for her, I know that.
"We were in the final stages. It was all-out fucking. Fast and heavy! I was letting go, smacking the log into her like a wild man! Feeling those spasms sucking my pecker's head each time, for a split-second. Then pulling back and getting that hot, slippery friction, and that squeezing, and that ripply contact.
"Gloria was coming hard and strong. Her belly was sucking in and out. Her legs were shaking on each side of me, in the air. Her eyes closed tight and she seemed to shiver continually.
"I went over the edge! I grunted and slammed deep, screwing in and in ... shooting off and cursing! God! Coming in Gloria is a dream climax. It can't get much better.
"Except maybe with Bonnie.
"I was out of my skull that night when I went off in Gloria. She was, too. Bonnie had to have heard us howling. When that incredible pleasure faded away, Gloria was afraid Bonnie might have been awakened by our noise. She kissed me and got on her clothes and went in to check. She came back and said Bonnie looked asleep. Yeah. Looked.
"I couldn't get the picture of Bonnie's big, perfect young jugs out of my mind. Every time I saw her, I guess it showed, the way I stared. She blushed. She didn't meet my eyes."
It soon becomes obvious to the student of this form of psychosexual behavior that the young girl who seduces older men is usually quite conscious of her sexual powers and allure, and the effect she has on men. There can be no doubt that in cases such as this, Bonnie consciously exploited this power and fascination to her own advantage. She is using this hold over Vern to advance herself financially, and in a case such as this she is nothing more than a teenage prostitute, even if she is not out soliciting strangers.
The causes of sexual abnormalities such as this form of prostitution can be understood as a part of the relationship that Bonnie has had with her mother as she went through the normal stages of sexual development. Particularly important are those aspects of the relationship that were stimulatory of sexual activity, such as her observation of her mother and Vern engaged in a sexual episode.
As Dr. Henry H. Work stated:
In certain classes of society such stimulating activity may be quite common. Where parents and children live close together, intercourse and other sexual activities are more commonly seen by children, and in some instances there may be overt attempts on the part of the parents to stimulate sexual activity on the part of the children. 1
In this case there is only one parent, Gloria, but the direct attempt at stimulation was there, done by Vern.
Bonnie is caught up in a web of adjustment reactions, reactions which are quite normal for her at this period in her life, but which are being twisted by her affair with Vern.
Adjustment reactions in teenagers which take slightly bent paths are the rule rather than the exception. Disturbed reactions may also be expected from family members and from society at large once the incorrect reaction becomes obvious,----
1) Freedman, Alfred A. and Kaplan, Harold I. (editors). The Comprehensive Textbook of Psychiatry. Baltimore. Md.: Williams and Wilkins Co., 1947.
---as it must become if Bonnie carries on her affair.
All manner of psychopathology can grow out of an incorrect reaction such as this. Anxiety, depression, mania, schizoid and schizophrenic illness, perversions, addiction, behavior distortions, and psychosomatic affections are common. It is vital to the valid interpretation of any adolescent behavior, such as Bonnie's, that it be seen in its developmental process against a background that includes the physiology and psychology of adolescence, the family dynamics, and even the wider scope of our contemporary culture itself.
The awakening of sexual feelings which accompany the development of sexual hormones and organs is usually a source of difficulty as well as pleasure to the young teenage girl. The conflicting and often contrasexual mores of the western middle class represent the climate in which this development is occurring in Bonnie. Puberty was followed by a relatively peaceful period, in which Bonnie and her girl friends clustered around activities less explosive than sexual awakening and experimentation.
Often, though, there is a preoccupation with the changing of the body parts related to sexual functioning. The relative size and position of the breasts, the amount of fat left on the body, the amount and placement of body hair, the size, shape and appearance of the sexual organs, indeed, the whole body, is subject to careful scrutiny, and the slightest alteration, such as a mole or a spot of acne, is a cause for anxious observation and concern.
These changes in the body have certain social overtones which cause the teenager even more anxiety. There is intense comparison with others whenever such a chance for comparison presents itself, usually during physical education classes in school. Another area where comparisons are often made is in "peeking" at the parents while they are taking baths or even engaging in sexual intercourse. When a girl becomes fearful about the changes taking place in her body she may be impelled to avoid members of the opposite sex, fearing anything she cannot understand, or she may be driven, as Bonnie was, to test out the new equipment which she has developed.
In addition, girls at puberty are more prone to fantasies of a sexual nature, and, in some cases, there will be an intense effort made to change these fantasies into reality.
Finally, in evaluating Bonnie's situation, it must always be kept in mind that a young girl who becomes involved in prostitution, even unorganized prostitution such as this-regardless of her reasons for doing so, whether it is just for kicks or because she actually has a dire need for the money, such as Bonnie felt she had-has one extremely powerful legal weapon which she can use to secure even more money than might be available from someone such as Vern. Because she is under age any man who engages in sexual intercourse with her, whether he knows she is under age or not, is liable for criminal prosecution for statutory rape. The law does not differentiate between sexual intercourse with an under-age girl and sexual intercourse with an under-age prostitute or blackmailer. In all cases the man is guilty of statutory rape, and liable for a prison sentence.
"One afternoon I went over to their place after work. This was about three weeks after that night.
"Bonnie was home from school, doing homework and Gloria wasn't home yet from work. She called and said she had to work two hours overtime because a clerk hadn't showed up for the night shift at the drugstore.
"Bonnie started to get fidgety. I noticed it, but didn't say anything. I got a beer from the fridge and turned on their old black and white TV.
"After a couple of minutes she went down the hall and into the bedroom, I guess. Then she came down and sat down on the sofa next to me.
"Bonnie had on a yellow and brown striped sweater with a zipper that ran about halfway down the front. And tight blue jeans. And she was barefoot. I had my blue suit on. One of my sharp 'selling suits.' A used car salesman has to look good. Can't afford to look crummy, but can't afford to look too classy, either.
"Bonnie said she had a chance to be on the school Rally Squad, but she had to buy a special skirt and sweater ... and it cost thirty-five dollars.
"I could smell the touch coming. I let it come. Give something, get something.
"She started playing with the zipper on her sweater, up and down, up and down, showing some creamy-white cleavage. Sort of hypnotizing.
"She said, 'Mom can't afford to give me the money.' She pouted and ran that damn zipper lower. She asked, 'Could you give me the money, Vern?'
"I turned from watching the TV even partway. I sat more sideways toward her. I said thirty-five bucks was a lot of money for me to hand out, just like that.
"She begged me. Her big eyes got sad and pleading. She pulled that zipper all the way down and leaned toward me. I got a good look when the sweatshirt gaped. She didn't have a bra on! I could see down that deep cleavage to her stomach. And those big, lush mounds sticking out on each side ... still hidden, but naked.
"I guessed she'd gone into the bedroom to take off her bra. To tempt me. I had to wonder how far she'd go. How important was that Rally Squad to her?
"Bonnie scooted close up against me. She put her head on my chest and pressed those jugs against me. She put one soft little hand on my leg and one on my shoulder. What a temptation! Fourteen years old and ready to use her body to get a lousy sweater and skirt.
"She said, soft and low and pleading, 'Please, Vern. Please give me the money.'
"I said, 'I'd like to, Bonnie, but you're asking a lot. I don't make millions selling used iron.'
"She rubbed against me and her hand slid a little higher on my leg. 'Please? I'll let you feel me if you want.' She took my left hand and put it under her sweatshirt, on her stomach. She whispered, 'Go ahead.' She had her face pressed against my shoulder.
"That was the dividing line, the temptation point. I was weak and I gave in. That soft young body was too much of a lure. The things that flash through a man's mind. All the excuses you think up for doing something wrong. But for me it was mostly, 'You Only Live Once! Enjoy It While You Can!' I slid my hand up under her sweatshirt. Her skin was wonderfully warm and smooth. Then I touched the underside, the extra-warm undercurve of her right breast.
"My heart was thudding. My mouth was cottony. I was scared! What if Gloria walks in? was a threat in the back of my mind. I turned my palm up and cupped that big warm mass of firm flesh. I squeezed gently, feeling it, lifting it slightly.
"My pecker was trapped in my pants leg, and it started to creep down the inside of my leg, toward Bonnie's lightly touching hand.
"I slipped my other arm around her back and under her arm at her waist. I turned her slightly away so I'd have a better feel of her jugs. Bonnie turned her head away and down. She was breathing raggedly. She wasn't worked up, just scared, too.
"She took her right hand away from my thigh because it was too far to reach after I'd turned her. But she slid her left hand on there to take its place ... and her fingers touched the side of my growing pecker. Her hand stopped and jerked away a little. But stayed on my thigh.
"I was still cupping her right breast. Still giving it the gentle squeeze and slow touch. I let my hand come up onto it further ... onto that luscious fat cone, that warm, smooth, soft melon. Right onto her nipple.
"It was smaller than Gloria's nipples, but when I started tickling it with my thumb and forefinger, treating it like gold, barely touching, it got stiff and hard, sticking out till I wanted to see it! And suck it!
"I tickled it that way for a couple minutes, not in any hurry. I either had at least an hour or I was going to get caught. I decided to get my money's worth.
"Bonnie's breathing got a little different. It got deeper and faster. She stirred a little in my arm. Her head slowly rolled back, and turned, till it rested on the back of the sofa. Her chin was lifted and her mouth was slightly open. Her eyes stayed closed. Her lips were full and pink.
"I whispered, 'like that, Bonnie?'
"She frowned a little, then barely nodded. Her hand on my leg moved just enough so that her fingertips were touching the side of my pecker in my pants.
"I slid my hand off her right breast to the deep valley and onto her left breast. The heat of her flesh was almost hot. Her left nipple was already stiff. I tickled it, too.
"Bonnie gradually breathed deeper, with fast inhaling and slow exhaling. She was slowly getting excited. That was exciting to me!
"I had to kiss her. I shifted slowly, bringing my face close to hers. She knew. Her eyelids flickered. She wet her lips with her tongue. She didn't turn her head away.
"I slid my hand over to her right breast again. God, what a feel! What a handful. More than a handful. I couldn't spread my fingers enough to hold all of one of her jugs.
"I tenderly touched my lips to hers. Those sweet, young, fourteen-year-old lips. They were warm, and soft.
"I kept on tickling her stiff nipple. I gradually kissed her more firmly, moving my mouth, gently moving my head in small circular ways ...
"Bonnie responded. Her lips warmed even more and her mouth loosened. I began to touch my tongue-tip to her inner lips, and flick it into her mouth, not too deep.
"She stirred. She sighed deeply. For the first time her tongue didn't evade mine. They touched. We both shivered. I was aroused. My eyes were closed. My pecker was throbbing, hard as a rock.
"I took my left hand from her breasts and out from under her sweatshirt. I gently took her left hand that was resting on my right thigh, and shifted it down onto my long, hard log. I held it there, overpowering her first impulse to pull her hand away. She yielded and slowly closed her hand over the hot bulge.
"I didn't return my hand to her breasts. I put my hand on her thigh. I kissed her more passionately, with more tongue, and she responded with more tongue. Her breathing was loud, with mine. I slid my hand down between her legs, and gently urged her thighs open. She let me push them wide. I eased my hand onto her crotch and cupped her there.
"As I continued to tongue kiss her, I started pressing against her crotch with my fingers, in a slow rhythm, a slow rubbing pressure on the tight seams and stitching of her jeans.
"Bonnie's left hand was tight on my pecker. She started squeezing it and fingering it through my pants leg.
"I took my mouth from hers. I said hoarsely, 'Take off your sweatshirt.'
"Her blue eyes flickered open. She was breathing through her mouth. She took her hand from my pecker for a minute, leaned forward and pulled the sweatshirt up and off. She settled back, her eyes closed again, blushing. Her hand returned to my inner thigh and closed on my pecker again.
"I spent a minute just looking, filling my eyes, with the sight of her big, luscious breasts. Full, round, creamy-white, with scoop tan borders and strap outlines ... and small, pink, quarter-sized circles, puffed, like tiny hills under the pebble-stiff nipples rising erotically.
"I was breathing fast and erratic. I lowered my head and blew on her left nipple.
"Bonnie gave a little whimper. She whispered, 'Go ahead.' I saw her eyelids flicker as she peeked.
"I closed my lips on the nipple and started licking and sucking. Her breast rose and fell quickly against my face. Soft and firm and very warm.
"Her left hand was squeezing and rubbing my pecker more firmly. She whispered, 'I'll jerk you off if you want.'
"I lifted my head. We looked into each other's eyes. She blinked quickly, nervously. She licked her lips. She said, 'I do it for my boy friend.'
"I said, 'That isn't worth thirty-five dollars.'
"I went back to sucking her nipples. She didn't say anything for a while. She was breathing fast and uneven. Her breasts were surging up and down. She whispered, 'I'm getting all worked up.'
"I was still pressuring her crotch with my palm and fingers. Her hips were making little restless cunt moves.
"Bonnie whispered, 'You want to finger me off?'
"I shook my head. I kept on sucking, drawing her nipple into my mouth and scraping it lightly.
"She finally said, 'If you'll finger me off I'll ... I'll do what mom was doing that time ... when I saw you and her in here. If you want.'
"I said, 'Okay.' I could hardly believe she was willing to suck me. I said, 'Get your jeans down.'
"She quickly unsnapped, unzipped, and wriggled her jeans and white panties down to her ankles.
"God, there she was, leaning back, eyes closed again, and naked! Big, full breasts heaving, her belly sunk, her mound with just a little bit of blonde fuzz on it, her cunt lips pink and juicy, waiting for my finger, her knees open, her ankles locked together by her jeans and panties.
"My pecker started to throb and tingle. I opened my pants and shoved them down and then my underwear, too. My log flopped around and angled onto my right hip.
"Bonnie was watching. Her eyes were wide, very blue-that little girl face, framed with her long, wavy blonde hair. My guts melted. Those full pink lips!
"She whispered, half scared, half impressed, 'Wow ... have you got a big one!'
"I turned on my hip toward her. She gingerly reached and closed her fingers around my pecker. She had the same instinctive touch as Gloria.
"I slid my left hand onto her breasts. I fondled them ... filled my hand and eyes and memory with them, and then kissed them some more, and got her breathing heavy again, and then eased my hand down her belly to her mound, and palmed the plump triangle. I pressed my middle finger against the slippery lips of her cunt and they gave way easy and my fingertip was into hot wet pussy, slick and loose.
"I found her hotspot. I started gently skimming my fingertip over it.
"Bonnie opened her mouth. She moaned, surprised. 'Oh-h-h-h..." Her hips started a smooth cunt movement. She was slowly pumping my pecker, making it glow and tingle with hot pleasure. Her small hand was hardly big enough to get around it. There was a certain awkwardness about her way of doing it that was more arousing and exciting to me than a smooth, perfectly practiced skill.
"I had to stop her hand. I was too close. I skimmed her hotspot a little more firmly. She went 'Ahhhh!' and her belly started jumping. Her baby face crumpled up and she was panting and getting all jerky. She went off fast! Then her thighs clamped tight on my hand to stop my fingering. I kept my finger in her, but touched her pleasure spot very, very lightly and briefly. She was suddenly smiling. Her belly was still jumping, but not like before. She breathed easier. I noticed her nipples were swollen up to hardness again.
"I've noticed that in women-their nipples are usually soft before a climax, then they get a rush of blood and get hard right after.
"Bonnie had a soft, happy, satisfied smile. She was relaxed and loose. Her thighs opened again. She said, 'I liked that. You touch just right.'
"I kissed her on the mouth lightly and settled back in the sofa, myself. It was her turn. My pecker was jumping on my belly. It felt bloated and super-hard.
"Bonnie started fondling it. She said out loud to herself, 'Well, I guess I've got to do it.' She frowned and leaned close. She rested her head on my belly. She pumped the skin up and down a few times. She hesitated. Then she said in a weak, scared voice, 'I never did this before.'
"Her left breast was half squashed on my right arm, which was trapped under her body. I could feel her heart beating fast.
"I said, 'It's about time you learned, Bonnie. It isn't so terrible. Gloria loves to do it.'
" 'Does she, really?' Bonnie lowered her head on my belly and I felt her tongue touch my pecker's head. Then she took the whole head into her mouth, like you'd jump into a cold wave at the beach. She just held it in her mouth. No action. I believed she hadn't done it before. That made my pecker throb!
"I told her how to suck and move her tongue, and to take it deep into her mouth, till she almost gagged....
"Bonnie started doing it, but she scraped with her teeth. I had to stop her and tell her.
"She lifted her mouth off and said, 'I'm sorry. I really am, honestly, I've never done it before.' Then she brushed her long hair out of the way, back over her right ear, and fitted her mouth down onto my pecker again. Hot, soft lips.
"This time she did it better! A lot better! She kept her teeth out of the way, and she took it deep into her mouth. I whispered instructions. She obeyed. She started a delightful swirling with her tongue that was as good as anything Gloria ever did. And she managed to get my pecker further back into her mouth. Her lips were sliding down and down and down! She didn't know when to stop! I could feel the back of her throat. She got it all the way back there and held it there. Her throat started to quiver.
"Bonnie took my pecker from her mouth and asked, without looking around, like she was talking to my pecker, 'Is that better?'
"I said, 'Yes, now do it faster.'
"God! She started in ... bobbing her head, taking it deep like that, fast, and using both hands to hold it at the bottom, and she was keeping her lips tight around it, all the way up and down, and slithering her tongue around like slippery, hot velvet....
"I was gasping in half a minute. I was going to come ... big! I stared down at her bobbing head and saw her naked back and hips on the sofa beside me, and it was wild! Bonnie was sucking me off! Her first time. And she was a natural! My guts started to melt and boil. My pecker was so hard it hurt. My belly locked tight. The stuff was beginning to send out waves of pleasure as it started to move in my pecker.
"I gasped to Bonnie, 'Don't stop! Keep doing it!'
"She made a kind of slobbering agreeing sound. She bobbed her head even faster, and whipped her tongue in there better than Gloria.
"I was going ... going! Those long, deep sweeps of Bonnie's hot, working mouth were pure ecstasy!
"The final, explosive, overwhelming pleasure surged up and up and up! I shook! I held back the first spurt as long as I could ... then everything went loose in a furnace of incredibly intense sensation and I shot a tremendous load of stuff into Bonnie's mouth just as she had me in deepest.
"She gagged. That stuff probably spurted right into her throat. She jerked her head back, choking. But another spurt flew into her mouth.
"Bonnie flung herself away from me. I was helpless, panting, my pecker jerking and spurting on my belly. I heard her strangling a little and trying to vomit. She fell off the sofa and was on hands and knees on the rug, head down, drooling spittle and white stuff, coughing, spitting.
"I got down beside her and held her and told her I was sorry and that I should have warned her. I did feel like a shit. I wiped her mouth with my handkerchief and helped her into the bathroom.
"She gargled and spat and brushed her teeth. I wiped off. I watched the beautiful, firm sway of her big jugs as she brushed her teeth ... and the little waggle of her ass. God, what a body!
"I went back into the front room once I had my pants up and everything. I brought her her sweatshirt.
"She took it and said, 'I want my thirty-five dollars!' She was close to crying.
"I gave her forty dollars. She managed a smile. She went into the bedroom and I guess put on her bra.
"Bonnie was studying and I was watching TV when Gloria came home an hour later.
"Bonnie acted like nothing had happened. My cold sweat dried up and I had a good time that night.
"I didn't think it would happen again. I thought Bonnie would be turned off me. But kids are adaptable. They get over things. Especially if they want something.
"Bonnie knows where I live. She'd been over at my place a couple times with Gloria.
"I was off on a Sunday about a month later, a national holiday, so no work, and it was a nice warm day out. I was laying around in my shorts, reading the paper, letting my beard grow, watching a game on TV, drinking some beer, when there's a knock on my door.
"I yelled, 'Who is it?' and a girl called, 'Bonnie.'
"It sounded like her. I was all at once scared and hoping ... you know! I opened the door a crack and looked. It was Bonnie, all right! Standing there in red short-shorts and a white T-shirt, with those jugs sticking out a mile in a bra. She had sandals on and was holding the strings of a small beach bag, sort of a duffel bag, only all kinds of colors, patches of them.
"She smiled and said, 'Hey, can I see you for a few minutes?'
"I said wait a minute till I get a robe on. She said she didn't care and walked in.
"I felt funny in my shorts, though, and got into a robe anyway.
"Bonnie flopped on the couch and watched the game for a few seconds. I noticed her fingers playing nervously with the bag's drawstrings. I asked her if she was alone.
"She said yes, she told Gloria she was going to the beach with friends, then she got them to let her out at my place. They'd be back for her in half an hour ... they were going shopping for swimsuits at some stores.
"I asked why she came over. I sat next to her. She didn't look around. She said, 'Well ... I kind of need some money for something ... and I thought maybe you'd want to do what we did together.' She wanted twenty-five dollars. She just sat there not looking at me, fiddling with those strings. A luscious fourteen year old girl selling her body to her mother's boy friend.
"I couldn't resist. I pulled her close and started feeling those big jugs. I said, 'Okay. But I want to get into you this time.' I pulled her T-shirt out of her shorts.
"She turned to look at me, then. Worried. 'Hey, I don't want you to squirt in me. I don't want to get knocked up.'
"I convinced her I would pull out in time, and I only wanted to find out what it felt like to fuck her. I told her I'd been dreaming of it.
"Bonnie agreed. Then she surprised me. She said, 'I'll finish you with my mouth if you want.'
"I said yes! While I pulled her T-shirt up and off, and unhooked her bra, she said confidentially, 'I kind of grooved on it-sucking you-last time. But that squirting all the way in my throat was worse than choking on cigarette smoke. You tell me this time.'
"I said I would. I peeled those big cups off her jugs and started playing with her nipples. I kissed her neck and then she turned her face to me and I got her mouth.
"She liked kissing and she was getting good at it. Her tongue was into my mouth right away, and her arms came up and tightened around my neck.
"While we kissed I opened the side of her short-shorts. She didn't object. I pulled and hauled them down and under her ass and down past her knees. I took her red bikini panties with them, too.
"Bonnie whispered, 'Please kiss my nipples again? I really liked it when you did it before.'
"I said okay, but we didn't have much time. I pulled her legs up and laid her flat on the studio couch. I pulled her shorts and panties all the way off. Then I bent over her body and started licking those super jugs and those pink nipples. At the same time I ran my right hand lightly over her belly and down into her crotch. I wormed a finger into her cunt lips right away.
She wasn't wet, but she soon got that way. I fingertipped her little hotspot till she was squirming and her legs were wide open, hanging over the sides of the couch.
"I sucked her nipples for my own pleasure, too, while I worked my finger in little circles in her soupy cunt. My pecker was up and hard in my shorts. I said, 'We'd better do it now.' About fifteen minutes had passed. She got a scared look in her big blue eyes, but she nodded.
"I asked, "Ever do it before?'
"She bit her lower lip and nodded. She whispered, 'My boy friend and I did it a couple times.'
"I stood up and shed my robe and dropped my shorts. My pecker hung out, big and long and fat. Bonnie was all eyes. She said, 'Yours is a lot bigger.'
"I got on her. She was breathing heavy, mostly scared. But she was still juicy when I worked the head of my pecker into her cunt lips. I told her to get her knees up. She did. I stuffed a pillow under her ass, and got into position again.
"I was breathing hard, too. I got the end of my log back in those warm, wet lips down there. I got it sunk a little into the opening to her inner cunt. I kept watching Bonnie's face. She had her eyes closed tight, and her teeth on her lower lip. She was so damned young! Her face still with some pudgy baby fat, framed by her rumpled blonde hair. I was quivering with just plain lust. My heart was slugging, shaking me.
"I pushed just hard enough to force my pecker inside an inch or two. Bonnie made a whimpering sound in her throat. Her jugs rose and fell real fast. Her nipples were soft and small.
"I was into a hot, slippery fist, it felt like. I couldn't stop from sinking my pecker deeper ... and deeper---
"Bonnie's face twisted a little and she bit down on her lip, and some more whimpering came from her.
"I started fucking slow and gentle, though, not trying to bury the log all the way, but God, did I want to!
"I worked in a little deeper every ten strokes or so, though. In a little deeper ... another inch ... and another, till I was sliding almost all the log into that hot, tight, jell yhole. What a sweet cunt! I was the first big man she'd had. It felt like it, too!
"I saw her face slowly go soft and untense. She let her lower lip go free. She started breathing sighs through her mouth.
"I was in pure cunt heaven! I forgot all about stopping. I started to work up a terrific head of steam. I was panting, feeling that big pleasure spreading in my guts, and I was fucking her faster and faster, deeper, driving it in! Nailing her cunt!
"Suddenly Bonnie opened her eyes. Big blue eyes, wide with fear. She dug her fingers into my shoulders. She said, 'Don't squirt in me!'
"I managed to stop. It took every ounce of willpower I had. I said, 'Yeah ... I won't' I pulled out. It was torture to leave that sweet cunt.
"Bonnie asked, 'How much time do I have? I have to be down on the corner waiting for them at twelve-thirty.'
"I looked at my watch. I said, 'Ten minutes.' I stood up next to the couch. I was going to go to the bathroom and wash my pecker for her.
"But Bonnie fooled me again. She said, 'Let me suck you, then.' And she sat up and grabbed my stiff pecker before I could move, and stuffed the end of it into her mouth. She started sucking and using her tongue right away, as fast and sexy as she could. She stuck her legs between mine and pulled me a half step closer to the couch so she could sit up straight, without leaning forward a lot, and she sucked! Bonnie had learned a trick or two, too. She wrapped her hands around my cock and pumped it while she sucked licked and rocked her head forward and back, taking my pecker deep.
"I stood there, straddle-legged and looked down and watched her blonde head moving and saw my log disappear more than halfway into that hot, clutching mouth.
"It took her two minutes to suck me off. She was getting to be an expert. Fourteen years old!
"I got that sweet, tight, hot, tide of pleasure in my guts again. My pecker got bigger and harder. She felt it. She heard me gasping.
"Bonnie started sucking faster, but didn't take me as deep, not back into her throat. She gave little twisting turns of her head, and her tongue was a hot snake in there, slithering and whipping in her saliva.
"I gasped, 'Here it comes!' She rocked and twisted her head and mouth and tongue even faster! God! I shot my guts out! I couldn't see straight. I was grunting and groaning...
"She drained me. She didn't stop sucking till I pulled my log out of her mouth. She put her cupped hand to her mouth, spat out my stuff, and went into the bathroom.
"I collapsed onto the couch. I heard her rinsing out her mouth, and washing.
"A minute later she came back, those great jugs jiggling ... She got into her bra, shorts and T-shirt while I dug out the twenty-five bucks.
"Bonnie took the cash and put it in a small pink wallet she got from her beach bag. She said, 'Thanks, Vern.' She went to the door. She looked back at me and said, 'I wish I had a lot more time. I wanted to come off, too.'
"I said, 'Next time.'
"She just smiled and went out, wiggling that ass and following those big jugs.
"She'll come around again. She'll arrange it. Whenever she wants some spending money..."
At this time there are two possible directions that Bonnie's future life can take, and neither of them are-likely to produce an optimum psycho-sexual development.
She can turn from her minor prostituting activities with Vern to professional prostitution, continuing to use her body to earn money. Or, she can form a slightly more normal relationship with a single man, possibly including marriage, while continuing to extort money from this man through the granting or withholding of sexual favors.
CHAPTER THREE
And Barbra Wants It Badly
"I guess I was about fourteen when I first became aware of the women's liberation thing. Even then I knew it was a bunch of wishful thinking crap. Oh, I was all for women doing their own thing. With a nicely developing shape of my own, I knew I was already well on the way to becoming a woman myself. I wanted to be liberated, all right. But even at fourteen I suspected that the way for a woman to run things her own way didn't mean ignoring the sexual differences. It seemed to me it might mean cashing in on those differences, in fact.
"I started developing early. At fifteen, I decided it was time to find out what sex was all about. My first experience was something of a bomb, but it also taught me quite a few things.
"Skip was seventeen, tough looking, and mad to get into my pants. Because I wanted to get on with it, I managed to get Skip to my house one evening when my parents were both out. My stepfather left his usual instructions about not letting anyone in, so I carefully locked the door ... after I let Skip in. We were soon wrestling on the sofa, only I wasn't fighting too hard this time.
"Actually, I kind of liked Skip's kisses. They did nice things to my insides. But now I was interested in a sort of scientific way. From where I stood, it seemed like sex was the big earth-spinner, the real motivating force behind everyone. If it was that great, I wanted in on it. So I let Skip break my cherry.
"I expected it to hurt a lot. It didn't. I imagined fucking would send me out of my mind with ecstasy. It didn't do that either. Actually, it was a nice enough way to spend an evening, but nothing to go out of your way for. At least, that's how it was for me, but Skip acted as if it was the greatest thing in the world, and as if I was the most wonderful creature ever. And all I did was spread my legs and let him sink his thin cock into my tight hole. It didn't make a lot of sense to me.
"But one result of our fucking warmed me to the whole thing. Skip became my slave. Really. He wanted to fuck me again so badly that I think he'd probably have done anything I asked. I liked that. I liked it a lot. All my life
I'd had to whine and plead for every damn thing I'd ever wanted.
"Skip turned out to be a lot of fun to play with. One of those educational toys, you might say. I teased him, tormented him, had him do everything for me. And, every once in a while, I actually even let him fuck me. But not too often, and never when he expected it.
"His cock never turned me on that much. I looked at it as a means to an end, really. Still, when we actually were into it, and he was rubbing his belly against mine, poking that big cock of his in my little slit, there were moments when I thought I could enjoy the experience for its own sake. But afterwards I knew it was more important that Skip go crazy with joy than myself.
"Although I began to use sex as a means to an end at fifteen, it wasn't until past my sixteenth birthday that I really began to see what it was all about. That's when all that trouble started with my French teacher. I was absolutely determined to go to college. For that, I needed excellent grades. Schoolwork never gave me any real trouble, until it came to French.
"Halfway through the semester this teacher took me aside and told me I was failing. Even he didn't seem able to hold out much hope of my bringing my grade up by the end of the term. I knew it was useless-I was already doing the best I could in that miserable class. I thought of my boyfriends-by this time I'd fucked two others, finding that each of them had joined Skip in vying for my favors. They couldn't help me with French, though. And I had to pass! Then one day I noticed teacher's eye on my legs. Suddenly I knew just what to do.
"I was wearing one of those micro-mini-skirts. Our school had dumped its dress-code the year before, as a result of too many protesting kids and parents. Most of the girls at once started wearing pants, but I favored the mini skirt any day. Sure, boys have been telling me I'm pretty for years. But I know my body beats out my face ten ways. So I love showing it off.
"Anyway, he was staring at my legs while we were answering a test question, and I happened to look up from my paper early only because I was lost from the first line. And there he was, the old goat, leering at my legs like he could never see enough of them. The solution to my failing grades was there in those eyes, too. Pretending I hadn't looked up, I crossed my legs slowly, so slowly that my nylons hissed a little as I changed position. I made damn sure the teacher got a good look at my panty-covered crotch before I shifted again in the chair. It was wild. When he found himself staring up my legs to my crotch, the air was suddenly charged with pure, horny energy. It was all I could do to keep from laughing.
"I didn't have much time, so I began a concentrated campaign to get him into bed with me. It wouldn't be easy, since he was risking his entire career if we were to be caught or anything. But that was definitely his problem. I simply needed a good grade, and this seemed the best and possibly only way to get it.
"My experience at seducing men wasn't all that fantastic, but something in me knew that I was born with the knowledge.
"I considered staying after class and getting things working that way, but that seemed too slow and too dangerous. So I found out that this teacher wasn't married, where he lived, and when he was-likely to be home. Then I simply paid him a call.
"It was late evening, and he was already in bed. At least he came to the door in a pair of pajamas, hastily tying his robe as he let me in.
" 'Barbra! What are you doing here?' Surprise stood out all over his middle-aged but not unattractive face.
"I glanced around the neat, unexciting garage apartment, waited until Mr. K was right behind me then whirled around, nearly throwing myself right into his arms. I made myself look frantic.
" 'Sir,' I began, 'I simply must pull a decent grade in your class! I absolutely must!'
"The teacher took a little step backwards and looked at me quizzically. 'We've been all over this, Barbra. As I said last week, your only hope is in drastically improving ... '
" 'I've tried!' I interrupted, touching his arm lightly. 'I just can't seem to catch up. So I thought, possibly, you might consider helping me. Privately, I mean. Tonight, if it was at all possible. I can't seem to figure it out all by myself even though I try! I simply have to pass!'
" 'Well ... ' He looked at me strangely, as if wondering if this was all some joke or something.
"Sudden inspiration hit me. Putting on my most pitiable expression, I tugged at the hem of my tiny skirt. 'I have to pass! Look at what my stepfather did the last time I brought home a paper from your class. When I got that fail!' I peeled back the skirt to display a fading bruise, a left-over from my last fucking session with Skip. The bruise was conveniently positioned on my upper thigh, close to the frilly edge of my sheer panties. I made sure he got a good look at my crotch before dropping the skirt enough so that only the bruise showed. 'There!'
"He stared at the spot. In fact, he seemed unable to lift his eyes from it. 'You ... Your father did this to you?'
" 'My stepfather. He got so mad he pushed me. I fell against the side of a table,' I lied effortlessly, wondering, from the dryness of the teacher's lips, if he wouldn't like to kiss it better for me. I let the skirt fall in place, then moved so close, we were nearly touching. The tips of my breasts were almost brushing his robed chest. 'Please help me, Sir, please. I'd do just anything to pass French with a half-way decent mark. Anything!'
"He seemed to be having difficulty with his voice. Finally he nodded.
"After thanking him warmly, we went over to the couch. I sat as close to him as I dared. Stupidly I'd forgotten to bring my French book, but he found one. Then he actually began to give me a lesson!
"As he spoke I blocked out his words and began to concentrate on sex. Every time he glanced at me I made it a point to be staring at his lips or his lap. He made a really good stab at ignoring what I was doing, but in minutes his words became garbled and his eyes were on my mouth, my tits, digging into my lap. I saw the hardening bulge in his pants, and from then on it was pure pretense, because the only kind of French either of us were thinking about involved our tongues rather than our voices.
"But pretend he did, for all of five minutes, anyway. Then, when I thought he would never get to it, when the bulge in his pants was a throbbing mound of undeniable desire, I reached over, let my hand rub against his hard cock on its way to gripping his thigh, and whispered practically into his ear, 'I'll do anything to get that grade....' I could feel the heat from his excited prick even from where I had my hand.
"Moving as if in a dream, my teacher slowly turned to me and took me in his arms. 'God! What are you trying to do to me, you beautiful little witch?' But he couldn't have been expecting an answer, not with his mouth covering mine, his tongue digging between my parting lips.
"It was a little different, being kissed passionately by a man. Unlike the boys I'd known, his lips were cool and knowing. It might have been a long time since he'd had a woman, for all I knew, but he sure knew how to kiss! I had to be very careful to remember what I was doing here. The temptation to just give in to his kisses and forget everything was strong. But I had to be in control-I had to make sure he liked it so much he would give me that grade without so much as a trace of doubt. If maybe he felt a little guilt, that was his problem.
"He continued to kiss me, but his hands began to get busy. But instead of going right for my tits like the boys, he began to rub my back, my hips, the backs of my thighs, and finally, he began to knead my ass. Meanwhile his tongue was working in and out of my mouth.
"By the time he finally started groping for my tits, I was arching my back and thrusting them into his probing hands! He was getting to me, all right, and I began to get interested in the differences between a man and a boy.
"My breasts were full and the little tips were getting hard even before he began pinching them softly. I wasn't wearing a bra under my sweater, and the heat of his palms burned right through the soft wool. Unable to control myself nearly as much as I wished, I moaned a little as he pulled up the sweater and sucked one hard nipple into his hot mouth.
"He was undressing me then, determinedly stripping me after tonguing my nipple briefly. He became more and more excited as more and more of my flesh came into view. Finally, when
I was down to my panties, teacher groaned, picked me up, and carried me to his bedroom. We tongue-kissed as he put me on the bed. Then he stood up and began to undress, his eyes never leaving my nearly naked body.
"He was built a whole lot better than I expected, and it suddenly occurred to me that he couldn't be older than forty, which wasn't all that old, really. His body was fairly hard and very hairy, and I watched eagerly as he untied his pajama trousers and let them slip to the carpet.
"I gasped as he turned to me, his prick distended and straining up towards my body. His was a man-cock, and next to him Skip and the others looked like babies. I guessed his prick had to be somewhere near eight inches long, and very thick. It both excited and disturbed me. I wasn't so sure I was ready for him, but there was no backing out now.
"His hands peeled away my thin panties, then my body was being covered by his huge frame. I was nervous when we began to kiss all over again, but after a few minutes I started to relax. His lips and tongue were warming me up again, and the heat of his body felt good against me. I could feel his massive prick against my leg. It was pulsating sluggishly, but not making any demands yet, just content to be against my nakedness.
"Just as I began returning his kisses in earnest, he started moving his hands all over my body. He touched me lightly everywhere except for my cunt, which would have welcomed his touch by then. I could feel myself beginning to go soft and wet down there, and if it wasn't for the thought of that French grade I could almost be having the best time of my life! Then he started to kiss my neck, ears and shoulders.
"When the other boys fucked me it was just that-they were fucking me, making certain motions until it was time for them to stick their cocks in my hole and pump me until they came. This was a whole new thing to me. He was making love to me, working to give me pleasure, too, and I couldn't believe how good it felt. I began to moan as he continued kissing my body, slowly working his way down to my tits which strained to feel his mouth on them. The little tips were very hard, aching with need, and still he went slowly, licking, finally, the underside of my breasts, kissing the creamy fullness before attacking the sensitive peaks. By the time he captured one nipple in his hot mouth I was trembling all over. It was ecstatic. Even my grade point, so desperately important minutes before, was becoming a secondary issue.
"He sucked my tits for a while, moving from one to the other, somehow knowing just when I couldn't stand it any longer. Then, while I whimpered like an animal, he started to move his lips downward over my rib cage. I held my breath, knowing even then what he was going to do to me. It's a funny thing, but until that moment my thoughts on mouth-sex were on the put down side. It seemed like an act for dirty old men and whores. But now that it was about to happen to me I was simply a mass of expectant nerve cells, totally devoid of the least trace of any form of prejudgment. I was reacting on a gut level, tied in knots over the shock of sheer ecstasy I knew I would be experiencing at any moment. My thighs were parting without any thought. I was ready.
"His mouth on my belly was a delightful teaser. Then his hands gripped my thighs and parted them the last inch or two. I moaned weakly as he lowered his face.
"There's no way to describe the sensation of his hot mouth coming to life in my cunt. I wouldn't know where to begin. Even before his tongue started working in my slit the simple pressure of his knowing lips against my sensitive clitoris was enough to thrill me. My fingers went to his thinning hair and my legs came up behind his back. If this was a way to raise a failing grade, I hoped my next semester was filled with failures!
"Somehow I managed to endure his licking tongue with a semblance of my mind intact. I trembled under his tongue, and just when I was about to explode in a real, complete orgasm, my French teacher pulled away from me. I watched him kneel between my knees as if from a great distance, too overwhelmed by the experience of my first tonguing to be completely myself yet. Then he was on top of me, the tip of his massive cock working its way into my slit.
"I came alive again when his prick wedged itself further into my hole. There was the immediate sensation of pain, quickly overshadowed by a wave of pleasure more earthy if less intense than when his tongue was in me. My arms went around his neck and I clung tightly as he, really my teacher now, eased his cock in and out of my tight pussy. I was moaning deeply then, and shaking my little ass in an animal recognition of the need to have this man fully in me.
"Finally he was in to the hilt, the wiry hairs at the base of his belly grinding and scraping against my swollen cunt lips. His breathing was deep and irregular, and his mouth was covering mine again. But I was beyond responding to his lips. I needed air and no distraction from the wild action in my pussy. So he settled for licking gently at my ear lobes while he slowly fucked me.
"At last all thoughts of that all-important grade were totally gone. My only reality was our entwined legs and arms, our sweetly locked groins, his tongue in my ear. It was then he began to fuck me hard.
"He was so big that my straining inner walls hugged him tightly as he plowed his cock in and out of me. But it wasn't pain that made me groan. I rubbed my tits against his shaggy chest and allowed the frighteningly huge wave of passion to grow in the quivering pit between my thighs. I was on the very tip of ecstasy. My eyelids fluttered crazily, and I was beyond controlling any inch of my body. Nothing mattered but this. I was going to slide right over this gigantic cliff. ... I could feel it ... starting,...
"Suddenly, he stopped moving. He panted in my ear and held very still. In a state of near panic, I attempted to move under him, unwilling to stop now that I was so close to home. But his weight pinned me down. I whimpered a little, too weak to do more than plead with him.
" 'Please! Don't stop now! Do it to me some more! Go on, fuck me some more! Please!'
"But he knew precisely what he was doing. After another maddening moment or two he began to move again, and this time, impossible as it was, it was even better than before. And again, just as I hesitated on the brink of an all-consuming come, he stopped once more.
"This went on for what seemed like an eon. I was beyond words, a whimpering doll, my thighs and belly slick with my own juices, a sorry excuse for the cunning girl who had walked into the apartment bent on getting a good grade! But that was okay; everything was okay. Everything was very okay....
"In time, when I believed there wasn't an ounce of sensation left in me, he stepped up his strokes, moving his cock in me in shorter strokes, filling and emptying me with such speed that he seemed in and out of me all at the same time. I was being lifted and lifted, and on some deep level I knew this time nothing would stop us. I was right. I gasped loudly, my mouth parting as I felt the first fantastic, rolling spasm break loose. Immediately his tongue was on mine, sliding over mine, fucking my mouth as firmly as his prick was fucking my convulsing cunt. I dug my fingernails into his back as I lost myself in the waves of ultimate bliss....
"At End of the school term I was not especially surprised to find a firmly drawn A on my report card in the box next to the word 'French.' Although I still don't understand a word of it, French has become my favorite language...."
Barbra is, by definition, a juvenile prostitute for advantage, rather than money, and a juvenile delinquent. She has developed the pattern of not only using her body to force people to do what she wants, but the more serious pattern of using people for her own ends. In this, she shows no trace of social conscience or responsibility. It is with this behavior that she assumes the mantle of classical juvenile delinquency.
The concept of juvenile delinquency has been known to mankind for thousands of years. Back in 500 B.C. Socrates stated, "Children now love luxury. They have bad manners and contempt for authority. They show disrespect to their elders and love to chatter in place of exercise."
Granted, Barbra's actions are a little more serious than "chattering in a place of exercise," but the base factors are the same. Dr. Robert L. Stubblefield outlined comprehensively the manner in which modern society looks at delinquency:
Modern concepts of delinquency suggest that children who are called delinquent are ill primarily in terms of society, in their inability to conform to the social milieu. Since the social and cultural milieu is influenced by many factors-education, radio, television, socioeconomic levels, minority racial groups, poverty, war and threat of war, civil rights movements, immigration, and many others-it is not possible to give precise definitions of delinquent behavior. 1
In addition to Dr. Stubblefield's remarks, one can view our states and cities as a wide variety of legal systems, attempting to establish, evaluate, modify and contain individual and group behavior patterns.
What is viewed as antisocial behavior in one city may not be viewed that way in another city or may be viewed differently by the same city officials and populace after the passing of a period of time. An example would be the recent changing of some statutes in an eastern state. There an adolescent girl of 17 could have been arrested and sent to a reformatory for engaging in sexual intercourse because she was under the legal age of consent, 18. That age of consent was recently lowered to 16, though, and the same sexual behavior would now go unpunished.
Laws tend to reflect current morality to a greater or lesser extent, and children are caught
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1) Freedman, Alfred A. and Kaplan, Harold I. (editors). The Comprehensive Textbook of Psychiatry. Baltimore. Md.: Williams and Wilkins Co., 1947.
---up in intense personal conflicts in our rapidly shifting and changing culture. Clearly, some fail to adapt to the various pressures less well than others. We can speak of two types of socio-pathic personalities here:
(1) The antisocial reaction, characteristic of children and adolescents who are always in trouble, who seem not to profit from experience or punishment, and who have no loyalties to persons other than themselves. Such behavior is shown by Barbra.
(2) The dyssocial reaction, characteristic of children and adolescents who have been brought up in amoral or immoral families or institutions, and who have identified with strong loyalties towards those who personify their ideals of self-centeredness.
In cases such as this, where there is consciously understood and planned delinquent behavior, many other forms of conduct disorder usually appear. They will often include, in addition to precocious sex activity, extreme provocativeness, disobedience, negativeness, temper tantrums, stealing, lying, cheating and cruelty. These disturbances have been attributed to a wide range of causative factors. For the most part, conduct disorders are considered to represent a failure on the part of the parents with respect to the socialization of the child, which, in turn, has given rise to poor impulse control. However, conduct disorders may also represent neurotic formations, such as counter-phobic aggression or compensation for ego weakness.
Thus, many varied and complex hypotheses may be advanced to explain the psychodynamics of this particular disorder. As Drs. Freedman and Kaplan explained:
A temper tantrum may represent an overt expression of aggression, due to poor ego or superego control; rebellion against authority; an attempt to control the mother; compensation for low esteem; or a desire for punishment, due to poorly warded off guilt feelings. Any one of these explanations may be appropriate in a specific case; but it would be fallacious to ascribe all temper tantrums arbitrarily to the same factor. 1
Whatever the causative factors may be, Bar-bra is without a doubt a juvenile delinquent, suffering from a well-established conduct disorder. Her cold-blooded attitudes towards the use of sex to attain a desired end make her an extremely dangerous person to form any sort of relationship with, if only because she is capable of twisting that relationship any way she wishes, just so it satisfies her own desires.
"After my experience with my French teacher, I did some revising of my old concepts about sex and power. There was no doubt about it ... sex was a way of attaining power, all right.
"After all, I did get my 'A'. But now I could
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1) Freedman, Alfred A. and Kaplan, Harold I. (editors). The Comprehensive Textbook of Psychiatry. Baltimore. Md.: Williams and Wilkins Co., 1947.
---see that the seduction of men might be desirable for other things, too. Such as sheer pleasure. Men, I decided, were worth the trouble. I cut off the boys in my life quickly.
"It seemed wise to find ways of satisfying two needs at once. I decided to choose men who would not only give me a good time, but who would also be in the position to make my life as easy and comfortable as possible.
"Naturally my stepfather became a perfect target.
"Paul was younger than my mother, and kind of handsome, in an exceptionally rugged way. He was a hardhead, and although he'd been married to my mother since I was a kid, we really never had much to do with each other. We never had a father-daughter relationship, or anything.
"But even if we chose to more or less ignore each other, Paul was the most important factor in my life, in a way. He was the one who decided how much bread I'd get for clothing each year, where I was allowed to go and for how long, how long I could tie up the phone. Everything, really. My mother is one of those very submissive types. She almost doesn't exist. And it didn't take much to see that whenever she gave in and let him fuck her, it must have been strictly in the line of a duty call. Paul wore all the signs of a horny, frustrated man. I began to look at him with new eyes.
"If I could somehow get Paul to fuck me I figured I could pretty much run the next few years to my own satisfaction. Living at home could become a fine thing. And my big-boned, muscular stepfather looked as if he had the makings of a real stud.
"I remembered back several years, when I'd accidentally surprised him while he was taking a shower. Even as a kid I remember being fascinated by the enormous cock on him. He never knew I was there. Eyes the size of goggles, I watched him soaping the monster hanging between his hairy legs. It kept growing as he applied what I thought at the time was an awful lot of soap, enough soap to wash me all over twice. It never entered my kid head that he was playing with it, not washing it. I sneaked back out of the bathroom before he noticed me.
"The first step was to get Paul to notice me. He wasn't what you'd call an overly brilliant man. If he was in the habit of pretty much ignoring someone, it took a hell of a lot to get him noticing them. Well, I was ready to make the effort.
"Paul got home from work an hour earlier than my mother every evening. Usually I was busy with dinner preparations, one of the dumb chores I decided were on the out list once I got Paul on my side. Well, I began to get home sooner so that my work was done by the time Paul got there. I took great pains fixing myself every afternoon, making sure that I was sexy enough to catch any man's eye. Then I would plunk myself down in whatever room Paul planted himself. I made a big thing of pretending interest in TV or a book or something, but all the while I was setting up peek show on top of peek show for my stepfather.
"It didn't take long. Even dumb old Paul finally began to notice the display of legs, tits and crotch I was throwing his way. After a while he was looking less at the TV and more at me. I dug it but we were still a long way from home.
"Step two was a riot. I 'accidently' got caught one afternoon on my way back from the shower. My room was halfway down the hall, and I counted to five after hearing Paul's car pull into the driveway. Then, wrapped in a too-small towel, I stepped into the hallway.
"At first I pretended not to notice him standing there by the door. I paraded down the hall, the fluffy towel barely covering my bouncy tits and my bare butt. Then I 'realized' I wasn't alone, and, 'shocked,' I dropped the towel!
"I have no idea how long it had been since Paul had seen anyone built like me in the altogether, but his reaction was immediate. His eyes ran up and down my body slowly. Then, a dazed look on his rugged face, Paul came slowly to me. He reached down, picked up the towel, and began to hand it to me. But the moment his hand glazed my arm, he snapped back to life. He grabbed me, pulling my naked body to him.
"From our first frantic kiss I knew Paul was not like my teacher. My ribs ached from the pressure of his knotted arms. If I went through with my plan there was no doubt that I was going to get fucked silly. Memory told me Paul had the cock for it, too. I hesitated half a minute while his dry lips were busy mashing mine. Then, shrugging mentally, I returned Paul's feverish kiss.
" 'Oh, Barbra,' he sighed, suddenly releasing me. He stepped backwards a step, obviously shaken. He gave me the towel a second time. 'Put it on, kid. Cover that beautiful little body of yours or I'll....'
"The last thing in the world I'd expected was this! I was sure that once I'd gotten Paul to touch me that would be it. I was sure he played around some. Married to my mother as he was, I figured it was a must. I was baffled for a moment. Then I knew exactly what to do. Letting the towel fall again, I reached out and touched his arm.
" 'Paul...," I stepped a bit closer. 'Do that to me again. Please. Just kiss me again ... please?'
"His response to my direct invitation was what I thought it would be. Total confusion. I took advantage of it by leaning into his body and bringing my face to his. With an animal groan Paul grabbed me again, unable to resist the temptation of a naked young girl against him. This time his tongue slid between my lips. I returned his kiss eagerly and rubbed my body against him. Almost at once I felt the stiffening bulge in his heavy work pants. It felt as if someone had placed a thick bar of steel under his zipper.
"The fine hairs on my cunt were soon being finger-combed, as if the temptation of getting in one quick feel of my little pussy was too strong to resist. Then Paul pulled away again.
" 'Saturday. We could be alone then...? ' But his voice sounded just a shade torn. When we parted I wanted to be absolutely sure he was hooked, that his need to get in me was big enough to withstand the next few days.
"I turned slowly and walked the rest of the way to my room. I turned at the door and smiled at my stepfather. 'Bring me the towel, please,' I asked softly. Then I got down on my bed, quickly spreading my legs and raising my hips so that the first thing he saw on entering the room was my opening pussy with its wet, pink inner lips. I barely gave him time to react.
" 'Please, Paul, just touch me there! Just touch me with your finger. Please...'
"The bed sighed under the weight of Paul's knee as he kneeled on the edge of the bed. One hand went to my spreading thighs, the other to his pants.
" 'My God, kid!' His finger, thick and rough-skinned, flew to my cunt. He touched me without delicacy, inserting the finger at once inside my hole. Luckily I was already slimy there. The finger slid in snugly. At the sound of my moan, Paul frantically unzipped his own fly.
" 'Shit, you little bitch, you've got me worked up! Look at this!' He whipped out his prick, as thick and long as I remembered, only now harder than before, its rounded tip glistening with its own lubricant, its shaft ridged with veins.
"I stared with fascination at his tool and would have reached out for it if the front door hadn't slammed just then.
"Fortunately, my mother had an arm-load of groceries. She went right to the kitchen, and called our names from there.
"'Right there!' Paul called, rapidly zipping himself up. His finger, still wet from my juicy cunt, trembled slightly, as if longing to return to its tight little groove between my silky legs.
" 'Saturday!' he hissed, sounding nearly angry. 'You better be right here Saturday. Hear?'
"Fighting back a smile, I nodded somberly.
"Then, while our eyes were locked together, Paul slowly lifted the finger which had been halfway up my cunt and stuck it into his mouth. He sucked it briefly, then, turning on his heel, he left the room. After a moment I heard my mother and Paul go into their room. I could barely make out my mother's muted voice. It was obvious, though, that she was complaining about having to perform her wifely duty at such an odd hour. I closed my eyes, thought of what a good fucking she was going to get because of me, remembered Paul's quick sucking of his finger, and dropped my hand to my cunt. I came imagining what would happen on Saturday.
"Sure enough, my mother had to work the extra day. I wondered how much of it had to do with Paul's urging her to get in the extra hours. We ate breakfast together, then I went back to my room. I smiled a little as I heard him tell her to be sure to call before starting home-he might want to meet her somewhere instead.
" 'You're dressed,' he observed gruffly as he came to my door as soon as the sound of mother's car was gone.
"I played innocent and smiled at him sweetly. I was lying on my bed listening to records. As he came over to me he broke the record I'd deliberately left on the hardwood floor.
"'My record! My new album!' I squealed, starting to get up.
"Paul sat down heavily on the bed and forced me back against the pillows. 'Never mind the lousy record. I'll buy you a new record. I'll buy you all the records you want.' His hand went to my tits over the robe and gown I wore. He squeezed one hard. It felt good. The little nipple immediately hardened.
" 'Will you really?' I asked, my voice little more than a sigh. "There are so many things I want, I just don't have the money to buy the same thing twice.'
"I imagine he knew what I was up to, but he took the bait like a good sport. 'So we'll do something about your allowance, kid. I'll fix things up for you. Okay?'
"I nodded, then closed my eyes. He began to work a tit in each of his big hands. It had been a few weeks since I'd last had sex. Teacher had gone back East for the summer, and I had no use for the boys that were always hanging around me. Now my body was responding like mad to
Paul's rough hands. But I remained very still.
" 'I like you better naked, honey. Come on, let me get those damn things off you. Shit, do you know what these last few days have been like? I've been walking around with a stiff that won't die.'
"I didn't respond, but I didn't try to stop him as he quickly undressed me. I didn't even say anything when he ripped my dainty gown yanking it off me. I knew I'd be getting a brand new one soon enough....
" 'Barbra! Oh, God, kid, I can't wait! Not this time. I've already been waiting too long!' Then he was on top of me, shedding his own clothing as he covered me with his huge frame.
" 'Hey, take it easy,' I whispered, feeling the steely tipped head of his cock press against my small cunt. I knew that without some kind of warm-up I'd never be able to take on that monster. He was at least as big as my French teacher and much thicker.
"But Paul knew what the problem was, and he knew how to take care of it to his own satisfaction. He spit on his fingers, then rubbed the needed moisture into my slowly dampening hole. I was going to protest all over again, but I suddenly realized that he'd be impossible until he shot a quick load into me. He was too hot for anything else.
"After several weeks of regular fucking from the teacher, it took less time to stimulate me anyway, and by the time Paul had worked his spit into me I was pretty hot myself. Besides, Paul was really only my second man, he had an enormous cock, and he was frantic to stick it into me. Also, he was another conquest. Being my own mother's husband, he was my best conquest of all. I spread my legs at the thought of it.
"Paul didn't waste a second. He grabbed the firm flesh of the undersides of my thighs and lifted me until my ass was off the bed, my cunt was winking up at his throbbing cock, and my heels were inching up his back toward his shoulders. A shiver went through me at the fierce expression on Paul's face. Never in my life had I felt as helpless. Not that I wasn't where I wanted to be, that wasn't it, but I was beyond having a thing to say about where I was any more. Paul was about to throw a man-sized, man-strong fuck into me, and I was going to have to ride it out, no matter what. Up to this minute it was my choice all the way.
"My moment of pure panic passed in the physical shock of suddenly being stuffed with swollen cock. Paul had rocked his hips at me in a swift, surprise attack, and before I could automatically tighten up or react in any way he was halfway up my hole. I screamed with the suddenness of it all, with the pressure of his mass, but the pain was a fleeting thing.
"It was the most unusual fuck I'd had to date. Paul was past the point of thinking. He simply had a load of boiling come with my name on it. As soon as I realized that, I ceased trying to be an active part of what was going on. I simply relaxed as best I could and allowed myself to be a receptacle for his sperm. Feeling almost no passion I steadied myself against the pillows and waited while the giant cock worked in and out of my hole. The entire act took little more than a few minutes. Then, grunting and uttering words I couldn't possibly understand, Paul sprayed the mouth of my womb with his steaming come.
"I was allowed to lower my legs after Paul's cock was completely soft. I moved gingerly, making room on the bed for him. I was unusually sure of myself, certain that the totally selfish fuck would work in my favor in the long run. I was right.
" 'Damn, baby, I'm sorry! I just couldn't wait, not with that body of yours, those days of dreaming about ramming it up you...." He pulled me to him with a gentleness which spoke clearly of his masculine embarrassment at being such an impatient, boyish lover. 'Now let me make it up to you, Barb, honey.'
"I was more than willing. But I pretended to be a little frightened of him. That really got to him. He started kissing me, again taking pains to be gentle. I responded hesitantly. His hands began to play with my breasts, pinching the nipples lightly, lovingly. Then he lowered his mouth to them. I sighed a little as he sucked one, then the other. When his fingers went to my cunt this time, they were attempting to be gentle. He rubbed my hard little clitoris, then slid in and out of my well greased hole. Then he surprised me by lowering his slick finger and slowly penetrating my ass-hole with it. Since this was the first time anyone had touched me there I was amazed to discover that it felt wonderful, his finger digging into my butt. I backed into it a little.
" 'You like that, don't you, you hot little cunt-I ought to fuck you up the back door. I bet you'd love it honey. Shit, you have that mother of yours beat a hundred ways! What times we're going to have, honey. The two of us. Every chance we get. Everything's going to be different, baby. God, you've got my cock all worked up again. All I have to do is touch you and I'm going out of my mind! Let me fuck you right this time, baby.'
"I would have enjoyed some more of that finger of his in my ass, but the pressure of his suddenly hard prick had me all turned on again.
" 'Tell you what, you come over here, and we'll do it a way that will let you take as much of it as you want.'
"Paul pulled me onto his lap. He lifted me until I was poised over his dick. Then, catching on to the action, I slowly began to lower myself onto his tool, hunching up and down on his head only until my cunt got greedy and wanted more. Then I slipped lower on the straining pole, bobbing easily while every nerve ending in my pussy was fired and sweating. There was no need for any outside lubrication now. I was drenching Paul's huge prick in my young juices. 'That feels so good, Paul! It's so big, so big....' I wriggled on the shaft, allowing myself still another wonderful inch ... and then another....
" 'Does it feel better than those young studs who come sniffing around here?' He humped a little, sinking a little more prick into me as he reminded me of his obvious assets. 'I figured you were giving those bucks a taste of that hot cunt of yours.'
"His words confused me for a moment. I wondered if I was supposed to deny fucking the others, then I realized he was digging the idea that I preferred his dick to theirs. Well, he was right. I'd never go back to little boy dick when there was a world full of men out there. Meanwhile the one in me would do fine. I began to ride his cock for all I was worth.
"Paul's hands were clamped around my tits. I looked down at us, even more excited by the view. Paul, under me, was rotating his hips like a tormented sea under a small ship. It felt wonderful. My body was flushed and very pink, with dark rose nipples and auburn pubic hair. Next to me Paul was very dark and hard-muscled. I was suddenly weak-knead, aware that I was only moments away from my own explosion.
"Paul might have lacked teacher's skill and knowingness, but he knew when a girl was about to come. He lifted me easily off his lap. I couldn't help moaning as the wonderful shaft was freed from my hot slit. But I knew Paul was only moving us to give me the best come he could. I was flat on my back in a second.
"I was on the point of pleading with Paul when he began to fill my aching hole with his hard meat again. Only this time he was on top and in complete control, and now I was glad for it. I was stripped of all responsibility, left with only the sheer pleasure of his cock in my cunt. 'Oh, yes, Paul,' I heard myself sigh, 'give it to me. ... Fuck me, Paul, fuck me good! I love it
... love it ... love..." I was squirming frantically under him now, working myself up to an intense pitch. 'Yes! Shove that big prick in me! Give it to me! Fuck me! YES!'
"My words had an effect on him. I could feel his dick swell a final inch. He began to slam his meat into me so far that the tender lips of my cunt were treated like a door being battered to shreds. But it felt wonderful. I was ready for everything Paul had. In fact, I was straining upwards, as if I wanted to take every last bit of him, take even his huge hanging balls inside me.... I started to come with that thought in my mind. 'Yes!' I shrieked, tightening my thighs around his muscular hips. 'Yes...! '
"The fact that he was emptying himself into me was a side-issue. This fuck was for me, and I meant to take and enjoy every bit of it.
"Afterwards, alone again in my room while Paul put in a call to his wife to find out exactly how long we had before she came home, I thought of my immediate future. My homelife was going to be a snap. I now knew how to take care of school problems, once I took the trouble to snare as many male teachers as possible. Yes, the future was going to be just fine....
"Then Paul came back, a big smile on his dark face. I held open my arms to him and smiled. His cock was hardening again, which meant we had lots of time yet. There was no doubt about it, the future was going to be a real blast...."
There is little chance that Barbra will degenerate psychosexually farther from the point she is now at, or that guilt feelings will upset the balance she has achieved. We have no doubt that she will, someday soon, marry. Undoubtedly, she will use her husband, her husband's associates and superiors, in the same way she used her French teacher and her stepfather-as a means to reach a desired goal.
CHAPTER FOUR
Too Painful an Endeavor
"How the hell should I know what really happened? like I can't be responsible for the whole damned uptight world! It seemed like a way-out idea and I went along with it. Why not? Can I help it if that nut goes off the deep end? Is it my fault he's got some big, dark hang-up? Christ! Any other mother-fucker would have been thrilled by it all. But not that All American Asshole! Hell, no! He has to go hang himself! Oh wow, what a bummer he turned out to be!
"Shit, man, if I can manage to hang in there when the rest of the world is so fucked up it can't tell the truth from lies, why should I feel responsible for that jerk? Give me one reason, just one! You can't, can you? I know you can't. Christ! You drum up a little old school spirit and all of a sudden nobody wants to know your name! Bunch of screwed up knotheads, all of you! I can stand an out-and-out hypocrite-you can reach someone like that-but you guys, you hallelujah-queens that go around with hate in your hearts, piss in your veins, and shit in your mouths ... oh wow, you guys have got to be the worst! Even a preacher has more guts and decency than you do. He knows fuckin' well that the only good human being is a dead human being ... but not you guys ... oh no! You gotta make everybody a statistic, gotta level everybody.
"No, no I don't really mind talking to you. Whatever turns you on. I just want you to know right up front what I think of you, that's all. You wanna pick my brains, that's okay with me, but you're not gonna get just the pretty parts-you're gonna get it all ... including what I think of you. And don't hand me all that shit about what a great service you guys are performing. For all I know you're all on a secret payroll for one of those big computer companies. I can just hear it: 'Go out there and collect lots of statistics, then give them to us and we'll run 'em through the computer and publish the findings.' And who reads these dumb things? Other creeps like you.
"So snap to it! Get your mike all set up, sweetie, 'cause you're gonna get an earful. Or have you got the tape recorder built into a hearing aid, or a lighter, or somethin'? I wouldn't put nothin' past you guys. Goddam pushy creeps!
"Listen, I know enough about life already to burn out five of your computers. I've been laid, relayed, and parlayed-and I can't get enough of it. My whole childhood was one big funeral parlor. Nobody talked to anybody. Nobody touched anybody. When I heard other kids griping about their parents I used to tell 'em that they should be grateful that they had somebody to gripe about. I grew up with the walking dead; yeah, the zombies. Can you argue with a corpse? We all lived in the same morgue, that's all. But nobody ever said anything to each other. The only times I can remember bein' talked to was when I was bein' bawled out.
"I ... I, well, I know what it is to be lonely. To be a kid ... and scared. I'm afraid of being alone. That's all. Just that. You can hang me by thumbs from the top of a building and I won't be scared ... as long as I know someone's around. Do anything you want ... but don't leave me alone. I can't take it. Somethin' happens inside of me an' I panic. Yeah. Panic. You can be as mean as you want, hurt me even ... but don't ignore me, don't leave me alone. Maybe I'll outgrow this awful fear. I hope so. I'm only sixteen and it's awful to live with that kind of fear. I wouldn't want to spend the rest of my life this way.
"But that's why I groove with sex so much. No matter who it is, at least I'm not alone.
Even if the guy's a sadie-masie, at least I know he's there! I remember even as a tiny kid, when I was about eight or nine, that I was aware that I had something guys wanted. I wasn't too sure of what it was, but I knew I had it. Knew by the way old guys would look at me, or young guys, or even boys my own age. Whatever it was I had, they wanted it. And one day I let this other kid, I guess he was about ten years old, I let him take off my panties and touch me down there. He didn't do anything else but touch me and stare, until I got tired of that dumb game and told him I wanted to see what he had. So I opened up his pants and took out this thing of his. There it was. An extra thumb hangin' off his body. Big deal. Well, I was just a kid. It wasn't till later, when he could get it up, that I found out what it was all about. It was kind of funny, now that I think about it. I guess he was about eleven or twelve by then. We'd been playing around with each other, only this time I was getting strange feelings down there ... kind of tingling feelings. I didn't know what the hell it meant. But I saw Joel's thing start to swell up, and then it began to sort of stand up, and I told him to quit it.
" 'I can't,' he said.
" 'What do you mean, you can't. Just make it go back to where it was. If you can put your leg up and down, you can put that thing back down!'
" 'No, honest, Emily, I can't. It feels funny, too. like it's alive all by itself.'
" 'You're crazy!'
" 'It hurts a little, like when your shorts are too tight around your legs and it cuts into you. Here, Emily, feel it.'
"Well, I was more than just curious by then. I was fascinated by his thing that he couldn't make go back down. He had more curly hairs there than I had on me, and that made me a little mad ... it meant he was growing up faster than I was. Maybe there was something wrong with his thing, maybe he had aningrown hair or something that was making it act that way. I touched it with one finger, and it bobbed at me. I remember giggling, but I was more curious than amused . . , and a little concerned for Joel, too. I mean, if it was hurting him, well, I didn't want him to hurt. Joel was my only friend in the world, and he touched me and kept me company. He made me feel alive, like a human being. I took his thing in my hand, gingerly. 'Does that feel better?' I asked him.
" 'Yeah, a little. Listen, Emily, I saw my brother makin' it with his girl friend once ... and his was standin' up like this, too.'
" 'Makin' what.'
" 'Fucking, y'dummy. I think this has something to do with fucking. Wanna try it?' " 'What do we do?'
" 'Lie down. I'll get on top of you like my brother did and we'll see what happens.'
"So I laid down. What did I know? Joel, he pushed his pants down around his knees and lay down on top of me. I felt his hard thing pokin' at my belly button, but I figured that wasn't the way. 'Listen, does that make it feel better?' " 'No. Not really.'
" 'Try putting it between my legs. That's it ... bend it down so it goes between my legs. There, how's that?'
" 'Better, I guess. It feels good to have your warm legs all around it. I don't know, though. When my brother was doing it, the girl had her legs spread apart real wide and he seemed to be shoving his thing in and out of her somewhere.'
" 'Well, let's try it.' I spread my legs apart and Joel took his thing in his hand and started poking around at me down there. 'Is that what your brother was doin'? '
" 'Couldn't be. He didn't have to hold on to it. You're kind of wet down there ... you peeing or something?'
" 'Of course not! It just sort of feels good to have you pokin' around like that, good but I think there's gotta be more to it than just this. Where's the wet com in' from?'
" 'Inside you, I guess.'
" 'Gimme your thing, Joel. If I'm not peeing, an' I'm not, then there's gotta be a hole someplace. You ever see a hole when you were down there lookin' around?'
" 'Naw. Just a lot of pink funny skin with flaps and things.'
" 'Well, gimme your thing and we'll see.' So I took his prick and started shoving it at myself until I felt a little give, until it felt extra good. So I took his prick an' I shoved it into myself. I didn't have nothin' to lose. If his thing broke it was his worry, not mine.
"You've got to admit it's funny. Of course his thing didn't 'break' ... the only thing that broke was my cherry. But I didn't care. It felt so good inside of me. I felt like I had him imprisoned, like I could hold onto him forever and never let him go 'cause I had captured his thing with my snatch. And once we'd figured out what to do, and how much fun it was, well Joel and me was at it all the time. About a year later I got my first period, and by then Joel knew what that could mean ... so he asked me if I knew how to protect myself. What the hell did I know? Protect myself. Against what? An invasion from Mars? But Joel told me the facts of life and I got a little scared about maybe having a baby. My folks never talked about anything like that ... I don't think they even did anything together anymore. Sometimes I wonder if I wasn't really a virgin birth! But good ol' Joel, he started pinching his mother's pills and made me take one every day, and stop when she did.
"Now, of course, I realize how lucky I was. Neither of us knew that the pills had to be timed to the individual woman's menstrual cycles. We just thought that if I took the pills whenever she did, stopped when she did, everything would be all right. Dumb kids, that's all. When I think of what could have happened, though, I sure agree that there ought to be sex education in the schools! If the kids are going to bang each other anyhow, then at least they should know about how to protect themselves!
"Anyhow, as we grew older Joel and I worked out a little business. You can't call it whoring and pimping ... we didn't know what all that meant. But we found out that guys would pay money to do the same thing to me that Joel was doin' for free. I wasn't the prettiest girl in school, but I wasn't no dog neither. And I had titties first! Don't kid yourself ... the first girl in school to wear a bra is a big shot! We worked out a regular schedule and Joel would line up real appointments, like a big executive or something, and then for a quarter or fifty cents, the fellows could touch or fuck.
"But one day, Joel had lined up somebody special. There'd been this man, see, who used to hang around the school grounds. Nice-lookin' guy, maybe around forty of fifty-you know how when you're a kid everybody looks a hundred years old-and he'd kind of figured out what was goin' on so he took Joel aside one day and told him he'd give us a dollar, one whole dollar, if he could come watch. Well, Christ! A whole dollar just to watch? So we said he could ... and that was the beginning of an entire education for me, a whole new world. The old man-we used to call him Mr. Gee-whiz 'cause he was always so proper about everything-sure knew a lot and sure taught me everything I know about makin' boys happy. And I wanted to make the boys happy ... happy enough to want to come back again and again.
With Joel, it was mostly the money he wanted. But not with me. I just liked the feeling of being wanted, of being needed, of knowing that if I made them happy, they'd want to come to me again. I needed their attention, the sly winks they'd give me in school when nobody was looking, the feeling of being somebody special. And I owed a lot of my success to Mr. Gee-whiz.
"At first he would just sit there and watch. That's all. After the third day, he began to play with himself sitting just a few feet from where some boy would be banging away at me. I used to sneak looks at his prick and it was the biggest thing I'd ever seen. But he was always real neat about jackin' off, always had a big white hanky in his hand ready to shoot his wad into. Then I got curious about what it would feel like to have a cock that big up inside of me, not just kid stuff. I started to tease him a little ... you know, flirtin' with him. I started spreadin' myself open more so he could see my wet pussy whenever some guy was about to get up on me ... and especially when the guy would pull out of me. Let him see all that come oozing out of my cunt, and what he was missing. Christ! What guy wants to jerk himself off when he can sink his dong up to the hilt in a girl's hot snatch?
"Sometimes, 'specially with some dumb kid who'd pop off too fast, I'd begin to massage my own titties, pushing them up toward him like I wanted him to kiss 'em. Which I did. Want him to kiss 'em, I mean. That was the only trouble with those guys, they didn't have any finesse. They'd just climb up on me, shove their bulging cocks up my snug little hole, and give a couple of grunts and then it was all over. None of 'em had ever made love to me, know what I mean? They just fucked me. That's all.
"Well, finally Mr. Gee-whiz couldn't stand it anymore. One day he stopped me after school and told me that he'd give me five dollars if I'd go with him to a room he had nearby and let him do it to me. Five dollars! I didn't have to think about it twice, I can tell you that!
"I followed him to this run-down building that looked like a boarding house (or what I thought a boarding house would look like) and up to his room on the third floor. It was a nice-size room with a washbasin and a big bed and a closet kind of thing on four legs like a great big cupboard. The can was down the hall. He closed the door after us and turned the key, then took off his overcoat and gestured to me to do the same.
" 'How old are you, Emily?' he asked me in his funny, tight voice.
" 'Fourteen next week,' I told him and it was the truth.
" 'Do you like letting the boys from school fuck you?'
"I watched him casually undressing while he was cross-examining me. He really wasn't in bad shape for someone his age, at least he didn't have big bulges all over or wrinkles like a turtle. And I already knew what his dong looked like. But I hadn't expected such big balls. Jesus! They were like stuffed tobacco pouches! His dick was limp, but he began to massage himself idly while I, too, got undressed. 'Sure. I like the guys to fuck me. It feels good.'
" 'What about the money they give you? Do you need money?'
" 'Doesn't everybody? But I do it mostly 'cause I like to and not because of the money. Are you going to fuck me?'
"Mr. Gee-whiz smiled at my question. 'I think it's time that you learned about lovemaking, Emily ... not just fucking. Has anyone ever made love to you?'
" 'Isn't that the same as fucking?'
" 'No, it's not. Come, come lie on my bed and make yourself comfortable while I pour us a little wine. Do you like sherry or would you prefer something drier?'
"Who knew about wines? 'I don't care. Whatever you're having is fine with me. What's the difference between fucking and making love?'
" 'Pleasure, m'dear, pleasure.'
"He handed me a thimble-size glass with an amber liquid in it. I sipped it and at first I didn't like the taste ... it was kind of sour-sweet. But almost instantly it made me feel sort of warm all over, gave me a kind of nice glowing feeling. Especially down here, in my twat. It just got a nice, fat warm feeling as if all the alcohol were settling down there instead of inside my stomach.
"He stretched out beside me, his long hairy legs crossed over each other like Christ on the cross, and his dong was puffed a bit but not really hard. I remember there were curly white hairs mixed with the dark hairs on his chest and around his cock, a real mat of hair like a tangle of fine weeds. And I thought it must be very sad to know you're getting old, to be able to look at yourself and see your own body beginning to fall apart ... I mean, like once you've got white hairs, well, it's a one-way road to being closer and closer to dead. It must be awful to know that you're closer to being old and dead than you are to when you were born and young. And thinking like that, I kind of got the feeling that Mr. Gee-whiz was sort of doing me a last-wish favor, a dying good deed. And I especially wanted to please him, to do whatever he wanted so that he wouldn't feel he was wasting his time with me. I felt awful sorry for Mr. Gee-whiz ... and grateful.
"I reached over and touched his cock gently. I'd never seen any other grown man's cock. It wasn't too much different than a kid's ... except that it was bigger, and sort of authoritative. A kid's prick looks frisky, y'know? It's fresh and rarin' to go. But a man's is surer of itself ... I don't know ... sophisticated like.
" 'That's very kind of you, Emily. Have you ever sucked cock?'
"I shook my head, but the idea seemed groovy. Why not? I leaned forward and my hair fell across his abdomen as I planted a small kiss on the tip of his penis. It jumped at me and I giggled, feeling sort of silly at the same time.
" 'The basic idea, Emily, is to make your mouth like your pussy. You must be careful of your teeth, of course, because a man's penis is terribly sensitive and you could injure him badly. Would you like to learn how to do it right?'
"'Sure!' I readily agreed. Hell, he was giving me five dollars and I was getting an education to boot. Why not? Well, I'm a pretty bright person and he really didn't have to tell me very much. Mostly he just sort of guided my head and my hands, and I caught on as we went along.
"I began to kiss along the sides of his shaft, letting my tongue trail along, wrapping it on the underside of his thing and licking in long broad strokes. I could feel his thing reacting to my kisses and that made me feel good. It was also turning me on. He brought my hand down to his balls and helped me form a cup with my palm, bouncing first one then the other like I was testing how much tobacco he had in 'em.
"I couldn't help marveling at how smooth the tip of his cock was, and the little eye at the tip had filled up with a grayish-white thick fluid that just fascinated me. I wanted to taste it ... so with my free hand I grabbed his shaft and brought the big knob right into my mouth. Kind of like sticking a whole ice-cream cone into your face, only it was like a hard rubber ball. I ran my tongue across it and the fluid had sort of a salty white sauce taste to it ... slithery, but interesting. And then I got to liking the taste and the feel of his cock in my mouth, the feeling of that big head rubbing against my cheeks and growing bigger and bigger inside of my face. The idea of it grabbed me, know what I mean? It turned me on like wild.
"I changed my position then so I could straddle his legs and rub my pussy against his knee. By then I was really wet down there and I just seemed to slide against him like he was greased or something. I guess my clit must've really been horny 'cause it had never felt so good to have something rubbing against it. I had always liked the feel of cock inside of me, filling up my vagina ... but this was different. This rubbing on my clit was sending wild tingles all through me and I could feel myself breaking out into a light sweat all over.
"He'd propped himself up against the headboard so he could watch me, and that turned me on, too. Knowing that he could see me naked, rubbing myself against him, and sucking on him all at the same time. I wished to hell I could get something up inside of me while I was licking his hot dick and rubbing against him, but I figured there wouldn't be any room for me to get anything up inside and rub at the same time. Shows you how little I knew. Mr. Gee-whiz tapped me on the shoulder and motioned to me to turn around, to stick my ass in his face. Or, at least, that's what I thought he wanted. I was kind of sorry to have to stop rubbing myself, but what the hell, if that's what the old guy wanted, it was jive with me ... I had my whole life ahead of me.
"Oh man! what a pleasant surprise was waiting for me! He began to run a wet finger up and down the crack of my ass, blowing hot breath on me back there, teasing my ass-hole with his finger and then letting his finger run down into my snatch, pretending to go up inside my hole for a few seconds, then taking a couple of swipes at my clit so that even I could feel that my clit was gettin' big and round. It felt wild. He'd pinch at it a couple of times, lightly, like a soft clothespin, and it sent shivers through me. I'd never known how sensitive my clit was, how terrific it was to have someone play with it.
"And then he stopped foolin' around and took my hips with both his hands and brought my pussy right up to his face and began to lick at it. I damned near fainted, it felt so fantastically good! Why should a tongue feel any better than fingers or a cock? But it sure as hell does! Now I knew why he wanted me to suck on his thing ... if my mouth on his prick felt even half as good as his mouth on my burning cunt ... oh wow! I've got a real neat pussy, thank God. like a paper airplane or something. There's the skin on the outside, and then this envelope-kind of flap that hangs down and that's all. I've seen some girls' cunts and they've got acres of flabby ugly red skin down there-Christ! I don't know how a boy finds her hole with all that junk flappin' around. But mine's real neat. All you gotta do is pull the outside skin apart a little and there's my hole and my clit just sittin' there waiting for lovin'. You can't miss it! And Mr. Gee-whiz was licking me like a roll of stamps, stickin' his tongue up inside my hole, and then grabbing my clit between his lips and making those pinching feelings again except that as his lips would sort of pinch at my clit, his tongue was rollin' the hard nub around and around.
"He brought his hands around and cupped my breasts and teased my nipples, running his palms up and down my rib cage every once in a while. And I could tell he was really enjoying himself, that he liked sucking my hot box even with all the juices I could hear were pourin' out of me. I guess you could say that he was goin' at my cunt like a kid might want to bury his face in a cream puff and just wash it all up from himself ... I don't know how to describe it, really. But I'd never felt anything so terrific in all my life, and it made me feel like all my veins and arteries were on fire, and that fire-kind of like an oil spill-was all traveling down to my cunt making it hotter and hotter....
"By then I could feel his prick gettin' ready to just burst and I was happy for him, and anxious to taste his come, to swallow it for him and make him happy. What he was doin' to me felt so damned good I could hardly concentrate on what I was doin' to him, but I guess that didn't matter to him. And pretty soon he was humpin' his thick hard cock into my mouth against my throat, and I was pushing my twat into his face rubbin' myself against his nose and his tongue and we were both sweatin' something awful and then I felt him say right into my snatch, 'Now, Emily, now!' and he was shootin' and shoo tin' this hot come down my throat and I sort of spasmed into another world and got all tight up inside and then felt myself flooding open and my beautiful pussy was clutching and jerking and grabbing.... Well, it was the most beautiful come I'd ever had in my entire life and I'll never forget Mr. Gee-whiz for showing me that there was another way to go besides just stickin' a stiff prick up my hole and that's that.
"I met quite a few times with Mr. Gee-whiz after that day. He taught me all sorts of things, but most of all, I felt a kind of bond between us ... not love like getting-married love, but a kind of love. Something I'd never known before in all my life. A feeling of being wanted and appreciated, of sharing. I still made out with the boys at school-only my prices went up as Joel learned how much the guys got as an allowance-except that my attitude had changed. I still enjoyed myself, but it was different ... I felt older than them, wiser. I felt like I was doing them the favor and not the other way around. But then Mr. Gee-whiz went away ... and I was kind of lost. My buddy, the person I could really talk to and make love with, was gone. What did I have left?"
Quite obviously, one of Emily's chief problems is her extreme fear of being alone, a fear so extreme that it can be classed as a phobic reaction.
In this phobic reaction Emily had displaced the content of the original conflict, which stemmed from a complete lack of interest in her activities by her parents, into an object and a situation in the external environment which has a strong symbolic influence and significance, namely, the closeness of sexual contact serving as a shield against the fear.
The problem of differentiating fears from phobias, or healthy from morbid fears, becomes increasingly difficult as one finds that many of the normal developmental fears of children have never been experienced and are often quite irrational. In other words, Emily fears being left alone because she feels she was left alone, although in all-likelihood the aloneness was one of communication, rather than actual lack of physical presence. The reaction of an adolescent or child in a situation such as this often seems to be quite disproportionate, persisting for long periods of time. It would, therefore, seem as if many of the simple fears, such as this fear of being alone that Emily feels, may actually represent phobias in which an apparent neurotic anxiety is hidden behind an apparent object of anxiety, the internal danger being transformed into an external one.
In the normal process of psychosexual and emotional development children outgrow their susceptibility to the anxiety producing situations of being alone. It is, therefore, the persistence of this infantile phobic tendency which characterizes the neurotic in the making, a neurosis which takes on all the tones of a paranoid personality.
Many of the phobic, and even schizophrenic, elements are present in the paranoid personality, coupled with an almost exquisite sensitivity in interpersonal relations. Suspiciousness, mistrust, envy, extreme jealousy, and stubbornness are characteristic. Most marked is the tendency toward projection, a mechanism of defense by which one's own internal inadequacies and immaturities are attributed to others. This mechanism operates unconsciously and, although it is very common in children, it is usually not so highly systematized in the adolescent stage as it is in the adult. Projection offers the adolescent a means of ridding herself of uncomfortable feelings of inadequacy. This does not mean, however, that the child who projects is necessarily going to develop a paranoid personality. Just that this development sometimes takes place, as it is clearly taking place in Emily.
J.J. Michaels, in The Management of the Juvenile Delinquent: a Point of View, noted that delinquent behavior occurs in a complex psycho-socio-biological matrix. The earlier and the more persistent its appearance, the more one must consider a constitutional cause. The later and more transient the delinquency, the more-likely it is to stem from a neurotic factor such as the paranoiac personality. It was also Michaels who differentiated a form of delinquency associated with persistent enuresis, for which he suggested the rubric of impulsive character.1
F. Redl and D. Wineman provided a careful delineation of the techniques of the delinquent ego, notably an ego whose strength lies in its resistance to change. Among these are the strategy of evasion (no guilt), the search for delinquency support (enlisting other peers to shore up the delinquent value structure), and the mechanized warfare with change agents (fighting authority figures).2
In a case such as this a second concern has to be the special reactions of the adult community to a teenager such as Emily. In general, it is probably safe to say that adolescents are more commonly scapegoated than any other age group, which would lead to the intensification of the paranoid reaction. The adolescent's preoccupation with herself, her volatility, her burgeoning sexuality, and especially her negativism and acting out to define societal limits casts her easily into the scapegoat role.
With Emily there is a distinct possibility that the developing paranoid personality elements may combine with psychological depression, which could easily lead to an attempt at suicide. Mood swings are common at all ages, but they appear particularly rapid and inexplicable
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1) Liebman, S. (editor). Emotional Problems of Childhood. Philadelphia, Pa.: J. B. Lippincort, 1958. p. 116.
2) Redl, F. and Wineman, 0. Children Who Hate: New York: Free Press, of Glencoe (MacMillan), 1951.
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in adolescents. It was long believed that true depression only became possible after the teen years, but there are now many documented cases of adolescent depression. Affective changes are-likely to follow any disappointment in" oneself, in one's peers, in one's parents, or in one's ideals. Bursts of vigorous and even violent activity may alternate with apparent laxness or inability to work or study. By and large, these happenings in the teenager are commonplace, but it is an established fact that the incidence of suicide takes a sharp climb during the late teens, and should "blue" depression combine with the "everyone hates me and is out to get me" syndrome of paranoia, the chances that there will be an attempt at suicide are very probable.
"By the time I got into high school, almost two years ago, I was really just a hardened little whore. Something went dead inside of me without Mr. Gee-whiz and his friendship. I'd felt abandoned and I sort of went wild with the boys in a kind of crazy revenge. And there were very few guys who hadn't laid me at least once. And I guess that the girls must've known about it, too, 'cause none of them would even talk to me. Bunch of sour-grape prudes. Jealous, that's all. They were probably spreading their legs for bananas and hating my guts for getting the real thing.
"But I guess I was gettin' smart ... or maybe just older. I decided to cut out the pay-as-you-lay plan and just put out for guys I liked-for free. Maybe then I could get myself a boyfriend like the other girls had. Christ! If they could get boyfriends when they weren't even puttin' out ... then I was damned cocky I could get one, too. I wanted to do the movie bit on Saturday nights and go to the dances at school ... all that stuff. I figured if I started to go to the school games that maybe some of the guys would see me in a new light-without my crotch on display.
"So I started wearing maxis instead of minis, and pants suits ... you know, playin' down my curves so maybe some guy would look at my face for a change. I don't think my folks noticed the difference at all. They gave me an allowance and left the buying of clothes up to me. They said it was so I'd learn a sense of responsibility, but I knew it was only so they wouldn't have to be bothered.
"Anyhow, I soon figured out how to follow a football across the field without cheering for the wrong team. I even tried to become a cheerleader, but the other girls nixed me on it. I'll bet they were worried that I'd look better in a sweater than they did! But little by little the guys were beginning to take me a little more seriously, even just talkin' to me once in a while in the halls between classes. Well, it was a start. But I couldn't seem to turn sex off inside of me, know what I mean? Maybe I'd just gotten so used to it I couldn't kick the habit ... I don't know. I just was goin' wild inside myself all the time and wanting to get fucked real bad. I had a rough time fallin' asleep at night, and playin' with myself just didn't do anything for me. I even lost my appetite and sort of dragged my ass, which is not like me. Anyways, one day we'd been playing one of our top rival high schools and we'd been beaten to a pulp. I mean, man, we were laid out flat.
"Just about everybody had split after the game ... sulking out like our team all had vd or somethin'. Christ! I figured the guys would need a little cheering up, someone to tell 'em that they'd do better next time, that the game had been fixed ... anything! Not just ignoring them like that. I know how it feels to be ignored, boy! do I know. So I ambled over to where the guys were comin' out of the locker room on their way home. Most of 'em just walked on by, saying nothing, not even to each other. But I knew one of the fellows pretty well so I waited and I waited for him to come out. And finally he did, with a buddy of his.
" 'Hi, Jerry. I'm really sorry about the game ... you guys did everything you could,' I told him, or something like that anyway.
" 'Yeah. Thanks, Emily.'
"He started to walk on, then the two of them stopped, said something to each other, then came back to where I was standing. Jerry whispered in my ear that his buddy was really feeling pretty low and that maybe I could help out. Shit! I knew what he meant. So I nodded and indicated toward the gymnasium building. When we all got there, only a few lights were still on but enough to make out the benches against the walls, the mats piled up in one corner. Jerry and his buddy-Dick was his name, I think-laid a few of the mats out on the floor.
"And that Dick was suddenly like a wild animal! He grabbed me by my hair and threw me down on the mats like an old rag doll. Before I even knew what the hell was the matter with him, he had pulled down his jeans and was waving his meat at me like he was gonna club me to death, like I'd done something horrible to him! What a creep! But Jerry cooled him, told him to take it easy, that I was an all right chick and that he didn't have to get all uptight over anything. Well, something snapped in the guy and Dick just sank down to the mat and began to cry. like a baby, you know what I mean ? Sobbin' out his frustration, I guess. Well, that led to me and my big heart-I have always been a softie for guys who are in trouble-and I just started stripping down, starin' at his limp prick and how it lay there while the guy was pourin' out his heart.
"Jerry had also stripped down. I'd never gone on a threesome before, but I figured this was as good a time as any. I leaned over and, stretching out alongside Dick, I began to play with his prick. After a few moments, his crying let up a little and he rolled over on his back with his arm over his face. I just wanted to make him feel better, so I lifted his penis to my mouth and began kissing it-little tiny kisses all up and down it, and down around his balls. I hadn't done that to a guy since Mr. Gee-whiz and I realized that I felt sorry for this kid, too.
"Jerry was sittin' cross-legged real near to us and he was fondlin' himself and muttering things like, 'Jesus! I didn't know you'd do something like that,' and other things along those same lines. It made me feel pretty important, I don't mind tellin' you, and I knew that I had even more surprises in store for him.
"So then I started licking Dick's dong, playing with his balls at the same time. Well, he sure'n hell began to react to that, let me tell you. His prick was really gettin' right on up there in no time at all. Then I took the warm shaft in my hand and started to lick around the ridge at the head, darting the tip of my tongue in and out of the tiny little hole at the tip of it, trying to get that same milky stuff out that Mr. Gee-whiz used to come up with all the time.
"Dick really started moaning then, kind of writhing around on the mat and trying to shove his cock up into my mouth. I was real careful and took a little love-bite on the head of it, and I thought he was gonna leap out of his skin! But I guess he took it the wrong way, and he grabbed me by the hair again and twisted me up to my knees in an all-four position.
"'You little bitch! You want to suck cock? Okay, suck! I'm gonna fuck your face, baby, and fuck it good. I'm gonna shove my big cock all the way down your throat and make you eat my come until you drown!'
"And he started laying it on me real heavy, slammin' his rigid cock into my mouth so that it was bangin' against my throat and gaggin' me. I was gettin' kind of scared, too, until I heard Jerry tellin' him to take it easy and that if he didn't know how to get sucked off, that heJerry, that is-would take over. He'd never had his cock sucked before I guess. Well, that cooled this nutty Dick again an' he started fuckin' my mouth a lot nicer, slow and easy and really enjoying himself.
"Jerry was too hot to just hang around and do nothing but supervise, but then, he always did have a short fuse. Anyways, me on all fours and this Dick character fucking my face was all right for Dick, but it wasn't enough for Jerry. He came back around me and hoisted up my ass so's he could get at my cunt with his hard on. And when I felt him shoving it up inside of me, I was really awfully happy. It had been such a damned long time that it was like comin' home after you'd been away for months and months. I knew at that moment that I could never hold out like I'd been trying to. It just felt too goddam good having a hard cock rammed up inside of my hot wet snatch, feeling the big thing rubbing against the insides of my hole and poking against that wall that's up inside there. Every time Jerry would pull out a little, I'd slam my hips back up against him so I could get his stiff cock all up and snug inside of me where it belonged. I was really kind of glad to be home again, you know what I mean? Jerry was making me so hot, fucking me like that, his hands holding on to my hips and pummeling at me with his shaft that it was all I could do not to just come right away and spoil everything by having to take a rest.
"But I knew that this Dick creep was pretty near to shootin' his wad and I didn't want to stop nothin' right then and there. I just wanted to have that lug get his rocks off so he'd stop yanking on my hair every time he got a hair up his ass! And I knew that Jerry could hold out for a while, him and me had made it before enough times so that I wasn't worried about that.
"Well, finally this Dick creep began groaning and moanin' and carryin' on until you'd a thought that I was chewin' him up and spittin' out the pieces ... and there he went again with the hair. He grabbed me again and made one great big thrust with his bulging cock and started shooting into my mouth ... and shooting. As rough as he was, at least the guy had something in his pants to let go with, I'll say that for him. Anyhow, he slumped down on the mat, breathin' real hard and I figured I could forget about him for a few minutes anyway.
"So I rolled a little, showing Jerry that I wanted him to get on top of me and fuck me real hard. He didn't need much prompting ... screwing a girl from behind is a nice variation once you've already gotten your rocks off and are then just lazily goin' at it again. But for openers, especially if a guy's really horny, they usually prefer to slam it in and feel their balls slapping at your ass.
"I could've been fucked for hours an' been happy. I guess it's kind of like an alkie who's decided to fall off the wagon ... you want to make up for lost time, but then, you don't want to pass out before you can really enjoy the feeling. I'm just guessin', though; I haven't got that problem.
"But I threw my legs around Jerry's waist and clung to him as he sweated and ground his prick deep inside of me, letting my hands feel his strong young muscles, lettin' his cock work its magic inside of me. There's just nothin' like a hard fat prick completely filling up your hungry hot hole, pushing in and out, the head of it rubbing along the sides of your starving vagina, feelin' all his juices and your own making a nice slippery cave for his piston. Man, when a girl's getting fucked, she knows she's alive and she knows she's needed! Even if a guy's madly in love with some other gal, while he's screwing me he isn't thinking about nothing else but me and my greedy hole!
"And then Jerry was ready and he started talkin' at me the way he always did.
" 'Oh yeah! I'm makin' it, baby, I'm makin' it ... come with me ... let me feel that tight snatch of yours snappin' on my cock, milkin' it dry ... let me feel you comin' too ... I'm gonna make it real sweet this time, real hard ... gonna shoot enough come into you to keep you drippin' for a week ... gonna make it now ... gonna fill your little cunt ... gonna commm....
"And he did ... and, oh wow! so did I! It started in my belly, and snowballed to my ass and then came roaring up to my snatch till I exploded in wild spasms, one right after another, twitching and grabbing ... it was really terrific!
"Well, after that, the three of us lay around smoking cigs-which the fellows shouldn't have done, bein' in trainin' and all-and just catching our breath. We went at it a few more times, and the best was when I was straddling Jerry, riding up and down on his cock like some kind of merry-go-round ... and then Dick came up and fucked my ass. Mr. Gee-whiz had fucked my ass before, so I was ready for him. But it's something else again when you've got a big cock up your cunt and another big cock shoved up your ass-hole! You're being torn apart and you couldn't be happier about it. Really groovy.
"Finally the boys had had it. I was still rarin' to go, but the guys said they were finished for the night. They were pretty good-natured about me wantin' them to fuck me again and again, but they wouldn't budge. No hard on, no fuck. I wasn't mad or anything, but I was disappointed. You can't give a starving man half a cracker and expect him to be grateful! As far as I was concerned, the appetizer was nice ... but where was the meal ?
"But no is no and there was nothin' I could do-no matter how hard I tried-to get a hard on for either of the guys. So we just started talkin' about the game and how rotten everything had gone. The guys really felt bad for the coach and told me that he was kind of psycho about our school winnin' the cup this year. Jerry said that he'd heard that the coach had just gone through a divorce, and Dick said he thought the guy was really all torn up about not being with his son all the time, just on weekends. And they both thought that it was on account of that that the coach just wasn't really pitching the team right. So we figured out a plan. The big deciding game was gonna be this month, the one that would either keep us in for the finals or leave us behind ... and that what the coach needed was a little coachin'. like maybe if he got his rocks off before the game, got a lot of flattery and that sort of thing ... well, that he'd be in better shape to really fire up the guys with some smart instructions.
"We set it up that the night before the big game for the finals, I'd sneak into the coach's office and turn him on ... fuck him real good, and then he'd be all right for the following day.
"Everything went off beautifully. The fellas got me past everybody and into the coach's office without any hitches. I was wearing a micro-mini, no underwear, and no bra under my blouse what was cut down to my navel just about. No matter what I did either my tits were gonna hang out temptingly, or my snatch was gonna be a hairy invitation. We figured we'd say that I was Jerry's girl friend and that I was worried about him ... you know, something to give me a reason to be in his office. The rest we figured nature would take care of.
"The coach was bent over his desk when I came in and there wasn't anybody around that I could see. He was startled when I let myself in, the coach-Aaron's his name, or was-and wanted to know how the hell I'd gotten into his office ... only he didn't use the work 'hell,' bein' a teacher an' all. So I started layin' my sad story on him, how worried I was about Jerry and all that bullshit ... and makin' real sure that he could get a hot damn view of my titties. But Aaron, he just kept trying to look the other way. He made sympathetic noises, but he just didn't want to look at my boobs.
"Hell, if he wasn't a tit man, then I'd give him a bird's-eye view of my snatch! I sat down on the edge of his desk, right in front of him, and with one leg hangin' to the floor even if he couldn't see my snatch he was sure as hell gonna smell my heat!
" 'Listen, Mr. D., ' I told him, 'you've just got to help me. Why this game has got Jerry so uptight he can't even get a hard on!
"Well, that startled the coach all right. Enough so that I could see he was gettin' a hard on himself. So I pushed him on it. 'I'm not used to this kind of treatment. Mr. D. I'm used to gettin' it real regular and Jerry's being turned off the way he is, well, it's driving me straight up the walls!' And I could see that I was really turnin' him on. His pants were bulging like he'd stuffed 'em with socks! And his hands just kept opening and clenching, and I could see small beads of sweat on his forehead. As a matter-of-fact, he looked a little like a trapped animal. So I figured I'd better close in for the kill or he was gonna go flying out of that office and I'd have wasted my time.
"I slid off the desk and stood right in front of him with my legs spread apart right in front of his face. I put my hand on his face and told him, 'You're a grown-up, you've gotta understand what it means to get your snatch regular, to shove your prick up inside a happy young body that's dying for it!'
"Something seemed to crumple inside of him and the next thing I knew he'd grabbed me by the hips and brought my snatch right up to his face, burying his face right in my thick bush ... an' he was kind of cryin' softly. His hands shot straight up inside of my blouse and started kneadin' my titties like he'd never felt a woman's breast before.
"I reached down and undid his pants and let his whang go flying out straight and rigid as a poker. So I just sat down on his lap, facing him, and sank his rod up inside of my dripping slippery hole. Mr. Gee-whiz had taught me how to snap, so I figured if I was gonna hold Aaron's attention, I'd better get him so hot he couldn't turn me down no matter if the whole building was on fire.
"And it worked, too. I kept talkin' to him all the while I was snappin' at him, tellin' him how much Jerry liked me to do that to him, and how Jerry always came too soon so we had to do it over and over, and how sometimes I'd suck Jerry off and that I'd suck him off, too, 'cause Jerry thought so much of him ... that all the guys really thought he was terrific ... you know, building up his ego. And I kept tellin' him how nice his prick was, how big it was and how good it felt up inside of me and that I couldn't wait to get my mouth around it ... stuff like that.
"He sure didn't take lpng to come. I guess the poor bastard hadn't had any in an awful long time. After he shot his wad he began blubbering all over the place. I offered to suck him off if it would make him feel better, but he just told me to get out and leave him alone. Well, shit, I'd done all I could do and he was actin' so funny that I figured maybe I should get out and leave him there. He'd get over whatever was buggin' him once he realized how good he felt after shoo tin' his load with a young chick.
"Anyhow, that's all I know about it. I left. I don't know why the jerk hung himself ... I really don't. It couldn't be on account of me ... what for? No guy goes and hangs himself just 'cause he's been laid. That's dumb. But there he was the next day, danglin' in the middle of the gym for everyone to see, his eyes bulgin', the kids tell me, and his tongue all black and hangin' out. Christ! What makes people so weird?"
As we stated earlier, Emily has several quite severe psychopathological problems which will require extensive professional care if she is to achieve any form of content stability. This care for Emily is mandatory, if only because she shows quite clearly all the classic psychological symptoms which lead to attempted suicide.
CHAPTER FIVE
Baby-sitting For Fun and Profit
" 'Get your damn feet off the table,' my dad yelled in his usual bad tempter. Guy! You can't do anything around that house that doesn't irritate him. 'And get your ass over to the D-s,' he screamed again. I had my weekly baby-sitting job to get to at seven o'clock. It was a quarter to seven now and I was putting it off till the last minute.
"I'd been sitting around, daydreaming about all my girl friends who were having parties or going out on dates tonight. Here I was, and never had a boyfriend or a date. I'd be fourteen pretty soon. Guy! What kind of life is that? No guys to sit and neck with or anything. I used to wake up for school, dreaming about being held by some cute fella, him kissing me and holding me tight. I've sure been hard up for a long time. I mean, what good does it do to be able to wear lipstick and all and not have some cute guy to use it on?
"Silently, I got off the couch and packed some things in my overnight case. It was one of those cheap plastic things one of my girl friends gave me for my last birthday.
"My dad was watching me as I put in a couple of books, some makeup and solitaire games. I could see him boiling out of the corner of my eye. 'Stop fartin' around and just get your butt over there,' he yelled again. Guy! My old man never left me alone for a minute. He's always finding something to get on my back about. That's all he does is bitch at everybody, all day. Since he's been out of work he's gotten worse. If it ain't me it's my ma. Bitchin' all the time.
"As I straightened up, my little titties pointed outward through a faded and worn old sweater given to me as a hand-me-down from my older sister, Jan. She was sixteen now, and doing all kinds of things with boys I could only dream about. My dad looked at those little tits of mine, threw down his newspaper and yelled again. 'What the hell you got in there? Kleenex? You stuffin' your bra or somethin'? '
" 'No,' I said weakly. 'I guess this old sweater just makes things look bigger, that's all. Everybody wears sweaters, Daddy. I can't help what it does.'
"He gave one final disapproving look as I turned and left the house. Boy, I was sure glad to get out of there. My bra was stuffed with Kleenex. I always put Kleenex in my bra when
I went baby-sitting over to the D-s' because
Mr. D-looked at my boobies a lot. So I figured if they were bigger he'd look at them more. It always made me feel grown-up to have older men look at my body. At least I would have that pleasure if nothing else.
"As I walked down the block to their house, I kept thinking how nice it would be if tonight
Mr. D-would be home alone, and he would neck with me and play with my little titties.
"My body got all warm thinking about this, and my pussy began to get wet. I pressed my thighs closer together, squeezing my little pussy tighter, causing it to be stimulated. My ass must have been wiggling back and forth like a machine. I kept pressing harder and harder as I walked, trying to get as much rubbing as possible. By the time I reached their door I was so hot I could have run right into the bathroom and masturbated.
"Mr. D-let me in and motioned me to a chair. There was a strange man in the house, showing them all kinds of books and things. Turns out he was an encyclopedia salesman, and they were buying a set of books from him. He was kind of good-looking; short blonde hair, about twenty-five or so, real cool. He glanced at me briefly as he gathered his junk together. All three left together, Mr. and Mrs. D-thanking him for stopping over as they walked out.
"The house was quiet. Their baby was sound asleep and would stay asleep, usually, until they came home, which was around one or two in the morning. I always slept over because of the hour they arrived. That was one of the things I liked. Peace and quiet for a full evening, and then to sleep at somebody else's house ... I get a strange kick out of sleeping at other people's houses.
"I was still kind of sexually excited. I was debating whether to watch some TV or play with myself. Most of the time I would masturbate before the night was out. It was a secure feeling knowing that I'd have complete privacy for several hours. I could do anything I wanted. Sometimes I undressed completely and walked around the house, looking at myself in all the mirrors, rubbing my titties and my tummy, and massaging my slightly-haired pussy. If I felt extra sexy, I'd come two or three times during the night. I hardly had any privacy at home, so when I got over there for baby-sitting I was really all set for a lot of sexing.
"I lay back on the couch, placed the handle of my hairbrush between my thighs and squeezed. My jeans seemed to be too thick to feel the handle against my pussy, so I unbuttoned the fly and placed the handle against my cotton panties. Just then there was a soft knock on the door. God, did that scare me! My face got hot as hell, and I froze for several moments, expecting the D-s to come walking in on me.
The knock came again and I jumped up, buttoned my jeans with shaking hands and went to see who it was.
"My body was shaking all over from fear and surprise, let alone residue of sexual excitement still flowing through me. I peeked through a crack in the window shade to see who was on the porch. There was an amber light which cast funny shadows when somebody stood out there in the dark, but I could tell who this was. The book salesman.
"My heart was racing and I panted uncontrollably. My first thought was that he came back to see the D-s, but then I remembered that they left together, so he knew they were out for the evening. Then he must have come back because he knew I was alone. The thought made me more excited ... and more apprehensive. I was so confused I didn't know whether to answer the door or not. If he got discouraged he would go away and I could return to playing with myself, which was all I wanted to do at the moment. But then again, I thought, maybe he showed up to play with me himself.
"I opened the door a little and said, 'Yes?' He smiled real friendly like and said, 'I've seen my last customer for the night and thought maybe I'd stop by. Figured you might want some company for a while.' I was scared, but I wanted to let him in. Being an older man, and all, it wasn't like some kid from school stopped by. I got kind of scared thinking he might overpower me or hurt me or something. I didn't know what to do, really. My cunt was aching for more pressings, and him standing there made me all the more hot, even though I was confused.
"He shifted his large briefcase to the other hand, smiling more. 'I'm not the local murderer,' he said, laughing. 'I'm not going to hurt you, but I could use a rest for a while and a glass of water.'
" 'Okay,' I mumbled, and opened the door for him. He slipped by as I glanced around to see if any neighbors were watching. He wasn't as tall as I had first thought. In fact, he was quite short, only about three inches taller than I.
"He stood in the middle of the small shabby living room as I went to the kitchen to run the water. When I returned with a small glass filled to the brim, he was still standing in the same spot. His fingers brushed mine as he took the glass, and a warm thunderbolt of sex shot down to my cunt. Setting the empty glass on a battered end table, he plopped on the couch and stretched his legs out.
" 'You do this often?' he inquired.
" 'Every Saturday,' I said, barely able to speak.
" 'Don't you ever have any boyfriends over?' he asked.
"I was getting warmer and warmer while he talked. I sat one cushion away frgm him. 'No,' I said, looking at the briefcase. 'I don't have any boyfriends.'
"My thighs were moving in and out uncontrollably. Partly from nervousness and partly from wanting to keep up my level of sexual excitement. There was a long pause, then he moved next to me.
" 'When we were kids, we'd have all kinds of friends over while baby-sitting. We sure had some good times. We'd play spin-the-bottle, post office and all kinds of kissing games,' he said, smiling at me. Sitting down, we were the same height. I turned my flushed face towards his.
" 'I've never played those games,' I said, somewhat self-consciously. 'I guess I've never even necked. My dad's pretty strict.'
"The warmth of his body next to mine was sending wave after wave of exciting feelings through my whole body. I never felt so strange and excited before. His arm moved very slowly up and around my shoulder. I didn't move. I couldn't move. I was breathing so heavy, and my heart was pounding so hard I thought it might scare him. But he just sat quietly, rubbing his hand on my arm. I stared straight ahead, not knowing what to expect, unable to do or say anything. My cunt was flowing like mad. My whole body felt as though it were glowing red.
"I guess he figured I passed the test, so he leaned his head against mine, knowing that I liked his touch. I got even hotter. This was the first time a boy had ever put his arm around me affectionately. Then I began thinking about all the stories my friends had told me, about how they necked and petted. Shit, I thought, it's about time I had something hot to tell them!
"I thought of all the tricks my girl friends had told me they had used to get guys to handle them and make out. This encouraged me to say what came from my quivering mouth next. 'Do you know how babies are born?' I said, quite innocently. My heart jumped. I was taking the big step. I couldn't turn back now. This was the opportunity of a lifetime and my heart raced faster knowing what could happen.
"He turned his head toward me. I could feel his hot breath on my cheek. God, I was burning up. I've never been so sexually excited in my life. Almost whispering, he said, 'Better than that, I can show you.' I was thrilled with his answer! I was really going to make out for the first time.
"I took a deep breath and enticed him further. 'What does a husband do to his wife when he starts the thing?' I asked, my heart beating so loud that even I could hear it.
" 'Well,' he whispered, 'first he does this,' and his hand slipped from my arm to the top of my sweater, pressing on my little breast. He pressed gently and squeezed several times. A thrill unknown to me rushed throughout my tender body. I was beginning to know what sex was really like and he was going to go all the way if I had to strip right then and there. There was really no turning back now. I had to have his hands on my naked body.
" 'But don't they do this when she's nude?' I whispered, panting through my words. He answered yes, and I reached for the bottom of my sweater. Pulling it off, I turned my back to him slightly as I reached back to unhook my bra. I folded it so he wouldn't see the padding, and placed it on the floor out of sight. My small titties stood out proud, the nipples hard and deep red.
" 'Now do it,' I said. His hand reached up and grabbed one of my tits. The warmth of his hand was excruciatingly beautiful. My nipples swelled under his touch as he slowly squeezed and massaged those little but full titties of mine. Each time his fingers brushed the nipple my clitoris throbbed and ached. I began to move against his hand, yearning for more contact. I squirmed and twisted beneath his gentle touch.
"Then I remembered what my girl friends had told me about a man's penis getting long and hard. I looked down at his pants, and his was poking up, bobbing and moving inside. I summoned more courage and slowly moved my hand across his thigh. His hot breath was directed in my ear now, and it kept me swirling with sexual excitement between my legs. My small hand crept closer and closer to that mysterious member until my fingertips touched the very tip. It moved in my hand. Excitedly I grabbed it firmly and squeezed, just as my girl friends described themselves doing with other boys. It felt strangely good, and right. A wonderful thrill of discovery and womanliness crept over me as I held his adult prick in my hand. This meant that he was mine, all mine!
"He moaned quietly and said, 'That feels good. Your hand feels good on me, beautiful.' I kept squeezing his prick, feeling the coarse material of his pants separating me from the flesh. I wanted to know what it really felt like. From here on in I would constantly think of each step, just as the other girls had described over and over. I knew what to do and I would perform each thing in order.
"I reached for his zipper and slowly pulled it down all the way. His stiff prick made a tent inside of his shorts. My hand found its way into the opening of his shorts and pulled that stiff hot flesh out into the open. It was magnificent! I had never seen such a beautiful thing in all my life. His prick was not huge, like my friends had described. This one was nice and manageable, just big enough for my hand to grab and move where I wanted it to.
"His hands squeezed my tits harder as I shoved the loose skin of his prick up and down. It was fascinating and wild. No wonder everybody talked so much about sex. This was really fantastic.
"That stiff piece of flesh in my hand made my clitoris harder and made it ache more. I could feel my panties getting sopped. My cunt was opening wider and wider, aching with desire, wanting to be caressed and loved. I couldn't stand it any longer and began unbuttoning my jeans. I hooked my thumbs in my panties and pulled them and the jeans off. I was totally naked, my tender white body nestled next to him on the couch.
" 'Oh, you sweet sexy thing, you,' he whispered. 'You little sexy piece of flesh.'
"I grabbed a firm hold of his prick again and began to jack him off faster. His hands were all over me, rubbing my flat tummy, my thighs, my hips. Every place he touched me was more sensitive than the last, my body was on fire with lust.
"I tried to coax him to put his fingers in my wet cunt. The words barely came out. 'Doesn't ... the husband ... put his hand,' I was panting so hard I could hardly speak, 'between the girl's legs?'
"His smooth fingers rubbed their way into the crevice. My legs flew apart automatically to expose as much of my cunt to his hand as possible. He cupped my little lightly-haired pussy in his hot hand and squeezed. I thought I would come, the feeling was so intense.
" 'Inside, inside,' I whispered through moanings and gasps. I felt the lips of my pussy being parted and a finger sliding up and down, brushing my stiff hard sex button. I thought I'd go through the ceiling! 'Oh, God, that's good,' I whispered. 'Don't stop. Don't stop ... keep doing it ... oh, God, that's so good ... don't stop ... don't stop.'
"My head was spinning with passion. My hand, which held his beautiful piece of flesh, was moving faster. My body thrashed and slid back and forth along the cushion as we wildly played with each other's body. Suddenly there was hot electricity shooting down to my cunt that-started from high in my body. He was sucking on one of my nipples and the feeling was so intense that I opened my mouth to scream, but no sound came out. Flash after flash of hot lightning traveled the length of my entire body and exploded in and around my hard sex button. My hips raised upward, swiveling and jerking against his gentle fingers. A blinding flash of light crossed my closed eyelids. It came again and again. My small body whipped in all directions as this never before experienced orgasm seared the inside of my soft body, sending bolts of electricity into every part. My arms, legs and hips flailed in all directions, as the fantastic explosion sent me spinning and whirling into the heavens.
"I was crying hysterically, tears streaming down my cheeks. He cuddled me into his arms, his strong tender arms, and pressed my sensitive little body against him. I sobbed uncontrollably on his shoulder, buckets of tears pouring onto his jacket.
"Then everything was still. He was petting my head, sweetly caressing my silky hair, kissing and whispering that everything was all right. I gave a few more whimpers and stopped. He cupped my head delicately in his hands, pulled my face directly in line with his and kissed me all over my cheeks and lips.
" 'Everything's okay,' he said, smiling. 'Everything's just fine, baby. Just fine.'
" 'But why am I crying?' I said, half scared that something terrible had happened to me while I came. Ignorance was crushing the bliss.
" 'It's all part of being a girl,' he said. 'You're just not used to it yet. But you're more of a woman than you think.'
"That made me feel better. Guy! Me becoming a woman already! I sure felt different than
I did the day before. Sex sure does something to you, doesn't it?"
Aside from recognizing certain obsessive-compulsive reactions and a decidedly dangerous lack of caution, it is quite difficult to determine whether there is any actual psychopathological aspect to the development of Judy's sexuality.
Changing values in a culture are mediated by ever new generations of adolescents devising differing values from their parents as they mature. This momentum for necessary change has its psychological frictions in disturbed and disturbing adolescents, but not all that is disturbing is disturbed.
This point deserves underscoring. The line between normal and abnormal is very vague. Most adolescents have assorted situation, developmental, and adjustment reactions. Indeed, as Anna Freud said, Adolescence is by its nature an interruption of peaceful growth, and the upholding of a steady equilibrium during the adolescent process is in itself abnormal. 1
1) Freud, Anna. Ego and Mechanisms of Defense. New York: International Universities Press, 1944.
One may expect the adolescent to behave in an inconsistent and unpredictable manner, and one may be concerned about the child who shows no alteration in behavior through adolescence. In the same paper she pointed out that it is not yet possible to predict from a knowledge of earlier life development what adolescent development will bring. There are simply too many new variables. The arena of life in which adolescence is played is much larger than the family. It introduces political, social and sexual problems of such immensity that they become differences of kind.
In regards to the obsessive-compulsive tendencies we have noted in Judy's behavior, the anxiety aroused by the unconscious conflict she is going through is counteracted by the occurrence of thoughts (obsessions), acts or impulses to act (compulsions), or mixtures of both which are all isolated from the original, unacceptable impulse, which we have no doubt is oedipally oriented. In this sort of situation the adolescent often recognizes that her ideas or behavior are unreasonable, but is, nevertheless, compelled to repeat her rituals. Often the external behavior represents the opposite of the unconscious wish, as with excessive orderliness and washing compulsions overlying impulses to soil and mess. Counting and touching ceremonials or recurrent thoughts appear frequently, resulting in marked anxiety if these are interfered with by the parents or other persons. This form of behavior includes many cases formerly classified as psychiatric psychasthenia, in which phobias, compulsions, and obsessions were accompanied by doubts, timidity, and depressions. It is often considered that a general lowering of the "psychological force" is the basic cause of this difficulty, and it is felt that the condition has some relation to induced epilepsy, of which it is perhaps a milder form.
Early in his studies, Freud began to notice connections between hysteria and obsessional neurosis. In the earlier work, he referred to them both as defense neuroses, and later they became the transference neuroses. He regarded the transposition of affects that brought about the clinical pictures in obsessional neuroses as equivalent to the conversion of affects that operated in hysteria. He very soon related them both as originating from infantile sex experiences, and in the seduction hypothesis he outlined a schematic relationship in which the premature exposure to sexuality, if passive or unpleasura-ble, led to the development of hysteria, whereas if active or pleasurable, led to an obsessional neurosis characterized by self-reproach for the sexual aggressiveness involved, even though this self-reproach was often unconscious, in the form of guilt feelings.
With his discovery of the Oedipus complex Freud attributed the development of hysteria to a direct repression of the oedipal wishes, and the development of obsessional neurosis to a regression to the anal-sadistic levels of infantile sexuality. Eventually he delineated the psychopathology of the obsessional neurosis in terms of anal erotism and sadism, which he linked together, bisexuality, defense mechanisms of isolation, undoing, and reaction formation, unusual intellectual drives, and premature ego development.
According to psychoanalytic theory, obsessions are the consequence of release of repressed instinctual impulses and wishes from the unconscious. The released elements are transferred to the sphere of the consciousness in conjunction with some idea or set of ideas that have no presumptive relationship to the unconscious impulse, so that the adolescent is unable to understand why she should be obsessed in this way. The reaction is interpreted as a defense against aggressive and sexual impulses, especially those relating to the Oedipus complex.
"The next weekend I happily went to the D-s' with a clever plan in mind for luring a lover over to the house. I figured if it worked once, I'd have my own sex pad every Saturday.
"I got on the phone and started dialing numbers, any numbers. I just dialed. If a woman answered I hung up and dialed again. When a guy answered I would start talking sexy-like to see if he was available. I hit a lot of married men who were home with their families, I guess, 'cause they brushed me off like some crank.
"Then, on about the ninth call, this man answered. Guy! Did he have a groovy voice. I started talking to him, asking him what he was doing and all, and he stayed on the phone talking to me for several minutes. To make sure I wasn't wasting my time, I asked him if he was married and he said no. So I told him what a sexy voice he had, and I was wondering if he looked as sexy as his voice. He fell for it, and asked me where I was.
"About twenty minutes later there was a knock on the door. I peeked out from the blind to see this man in his thirties, wearing a sport shirt and work pants standing on the porch. I opened the door, my pulse racing like mad.
" 'Judy?' he said.
" 'Yes,' I answered. 'Come on in.'
"The guy looked at me very curiously. 'You're just a kid,' he snorted out of the side of his mouth.
"I turned my back, swiveling my hips as I walked to the couch, and sat. 'You didn't seem to think so on the phone,' I answered. He looked at my slim legs which were showing from under a mini skirt. His eyes drifted upwards to the thin cotton blouse. As he did his examining from a distance, I began unbuttoning the blouse. He closed the door and just stared.
" 'My God, how old are you?' he asked.
"Playing the part, I said, 'Old enough.'
"My blouse was completely unbuttoned now. 'You don't have to worry,' I said, as the blouse fell open wider. 'No one will be home for at least four hours. I'm baby-sitting.'
"His face seemed to relax a little as he kept looking at my open blouse, then at my legs. Finally I put on my sexy voice again and said, 'Aren't you interested in knowing what's in here?' indicating my bare chest. That got him. He walked over slowly and sat down next to me.
"Since last week I had been talking with some of my more hip girl friends, pumping them for information about seducing fellows. They naturally volunteered information like crazy, bragging how they developed various techniques in various situations, like in the movie house, in the car, at home. I was really equipped now.
"I looked at him, smiling like I knew him for ages, and said, 'You're really handsome. I mean it. You're really good looking.'
"He smiled kind of shyly and said, 'You're very pretty. Very pretty.' His eyes kept glancing down between the open parts of my blouse, searching every inch of the bared flesh. I didn't have enough there to form a cleavage, yet, but he could see there was sufficient tit to protrude and look at. I had removed my bra and panties before he arrived, so all I had on was that flimsy blouse and short skirt.
"I licked my lips to make them shine, then turned to him. 'Do you like girls?' I asked, innocently.
"One side of his mouth curled up in a half smile. 'Most,' he said, as though he wasn't sure whether or not he was going to stay.
"I placed my hand on his thigh and began rubbing it slowly. He just stared into my eyes, as though waiting for something to tell him to do what I wanted him to do. But I was well armed that night. I had a dozen ploys I would use to break him down. My tongue moved across my lips, wetting them more. 'I'll bet you kiss nice,' I purred. 'You've got sexy lips. I know I'm not as old as most of the girls you're used to, but it won't hurt to see what it feels like to kiss me.'
"He leaned over slowly and placed his lips against mine, softly, hesitantly. I sucked his mouth hard and slipped my tongue inside and moved it around. He began to breathe heavily, sucking harder on my lips. I raised one arm and placed it around his shoulders, pulling him to me. My body was beginning to respond to his masculine body. Warm feelings of sexual excitement began sweeping through my entire being. We were enjoying each other's kiss; the big obstacle had been overcome. From here on in it was smooth sailing.
"I felt his hand reach in and cup my breast. It felt so good to be taken by a man, to have him touch me and make me feel like he owned me. His hand moved around, massaging my tit, squeezing and pressing. Then he gently moved the tips of his fingers to my nipple. My hips jerked like a reflex as electricity shot down to my clitoris. He began playing with the nipple and I moaned, kissing him harder. As his fingers gently pressed and twisted that stiff nipple, my hips began moving and sliding on the cushion. I had no control over them, they just moved and squirmed around with hot pleasure. I was so hot I didn't care what he did to me next. I just didn't want his hands to leave my soft body.
"He wrapped his arms around my bare waist and squeezed me to his chest. God, did I feel loved. My whole body was on fire, yearning for him to pet me all over, to feel his fingers explore parts of my body that hadn't been touched by a man yet. His hands moved up my back, rubbing me all over, turning me on something fierce. I threw both arms around his neck and squeezed him tighter, moving my head back and forth, rubbing lips and sucking hard.
"His strong hands moved down, surely, slowly, finding the zipper to my skirt which he pulled down. I raised myself slightly to enable him to slip it off onto the floor. I was in my naked glory, thrilled at my conquest. His hands caressed my small hips, moving over to my thighs and into my crotch. He was breathing hard, sucking on my small tongue, setting me ablaze with each touch of his hand. My cunt juices were pouring like mad. I could feel my cunt opening and closing in spasms of sexual joy. There was nothing I wouldn't do for him, to keep these fires burning in my cunt. Now I was his, the more experienced one, to learn from, to experience anything new he might have to teach me.
"His fingers rubbed the insides of my wet cunt lips, each movement firing hotter and hotter passion deep in my pussy, an aching desire to have something put in there to relieve the terrible longing. Now he was making love to me with all the passion and aggression I had heard about but never experienced. I was limp, moaning into his sexy mouth with each movement of his hand within my sex hole. Every cell of my pussy lips responded with more intense passion as his fingers rubbed and gently squeezed those fleshy lips with loving tenderness.
"I hung on to his strong neck for dear life, lost in a drunken passion I didn't know my young body was capable of experiencing. As one hand continued to slide up and down my little cunt, his other hand gently pulled me away so that our passionate kiss was broken. I looked at him helplessly through tear-filled eyes, caused by the intense joy of his exciting fingers.
"His lips parted slightly and he whispered something that I could barely hear from the numbness of passion surging through me. 'Has anyone ever gone down on you?' he said. I answered no. 'Have you ever gone down on anyone?' I shook my head weakly, not able to speak as his fingers never stopped sending passion into my cunt.
" 'Then I'm going to show you,' he whispered, and kissed my slender neck. A bolt of lightning shot down to my clitoris as his lips left my skin. I lay back against the couch while he quickly stripped. My eyes were closed, unable to stay open for a moment as passion kept surging through me with each gasp of breath.
"In a moment his lovely hand was back in my pussy, rubbing and lightly pinching. He was driving me crazy with all of this teasing. I wanted something more, much more to take away the urgent feeling that was making my insides crying for relief.
"He slipped an arm around my waist and kissed me hard, swirling his tongue around the insides of my lips. Oh God! I was melting by inches. I didn't know so much of me could be so sexually sensitive. My hips moved in circles, helplessly caught in his hypnotizing caress. We parted lips as he removed by blouse.
"Again he spoke, but I could only understand meanings. It was as though the words weren't words but sounds that sent shivers of passion over my little excited body. 'You go down on me first, then I'll go down on you,' he said. 'If you don't like doing it, tell me, and you can make me come another way.' He took me by the shoulders and guided me in a kneeling position in front of him. My hands reached forward and seized his huge penis hungrily. I had a mad desire to make love to that throbbing swollen piece of flesh that pointed so strongly and manly upwards, bobbing and pulsating with sex.
"His hands reached forward and took both of my nipples firmly. My clitoris grew harder and throbbed with aching passion. Jesus, I didn't know if I could take any more teasing without him making me come. Both of my stiff nipples were being pinched and squeezed at the same time, sending bolts of sexual sensations into my throbbing pussy.
" 'Put your mouth to me,' he said, coaxing me on. I didn't need any coaxing. I dove for his hard flesh with a vengeance, sucking the purple head of his prick into my mouth. He moaned as my lips sucked his sweetness in, licking and tasting that beautiful stalk of manliness. His hard flesh felt so sexy inside my wet hot mouth as I twisted and turned my head, trying to devour all of his silky smooth prick. I loved the texture and firmness of that beautiful hunk of meat as it caressed the" insides of my mouth. With each pinch on my swollen nipples I craved to suck harder, to taste this thing of joy that gave me such pleasure. I was reeling with ecstasy, sucking with the hunger of a baby at its mother's breast, never losing contact for a moment, never wanting this warm spongy thing to leave my lips.
"His hot prick began to swell larger in my warm mouth, signaling that he was about to come. I knew what to expect and it heightened my passion. He moaned loudly as his sweet hard flesh jerked violently in my hands, gushing his hot come into my loving mouth. I swallowed his love juice as fast as it spurt, sucking and reeling almost hysterically. His hands never left my titties. I was absolutely his, and he was mine.
"As his prick began to get soft, nestling itself into his matted hair, I continued to suck and lick as he moaned over and over. I could have stayed there forever, sucking on that delicious hunk of manhood. But he moved my head away, forcing me to let go of his body, and said, 'Now I'll do you, you sweet sex pot. Oh, you little bitch you. Am I going to make you come.'
"We switched places, me on the couch and he on the floor. His hands slid under my ass and pulled my creamy pussy to his mouth. As his tongue licked the full length of my slit I thought I was going to faint. The thrilling sensations that poured through my body were unbearable. The intensity was such that I thought I would never feel normal again. Even the soles of my feet were burning.
" 'Oh, God, I can't stand anymore,' I whimpered, as his soft caressing tongue licked up and down, rubbing my clitoris, causing excruciating pleasure to flow in ripples all through me. 'Oh, Jesus, what are you doing to me?' I cried. 'It's too much ... oh, God ... I can't stand it ... don't stop, please ... oh, God I can't take anymore!'
"Then another new sensation tore through my passionate body. He was inching a finger slowly into my cunt hole. My hips raised upwards, then jerked to the side, around and around they thrashed, trying to make his finger touch all of me inside. I was totally dizzy with all the things he was doing to my cunt. I heard nor saw nothing; I just felt ... my body was one mass of sexual fire, burning with lust from the inside out, crying for him to stop, then not to stop. I was insane with pleasure!
"Then, suddenly, my whole being felt lifted into the heavens as the swirling hot passion exploded into a climax. I clapped my hand over my mouth to muffle the scream that never seemed to end. I could feel my body whipping in all directions as the most fantastic climax I had ever experienced shook me like a rag doll. I screamed and screamed as he continued to poke his finger in and out of my small cunt and suck on my joy button.
"Then there was nothing. The madness ended. No hand or tongue touched me. No more spinning or swirling in my gut. There was peace. Sweet silence and peace. Calm waters and soft sand.
"My limp body was slumped down, legs spread awkwardly. I raised my heavy lids in an effort to touch reality once more. A smiling face met mine and kissed me on the forehead. Then darkness and heavy air covered me.
"I don't know how long I had slept, but when I awoke and realized that I was naked, I jumped up and quickly put on my clothes. I was alone and frightened that the D-s may have already come home, seen me like this and just gone to bed. I quickly ran into the kitchen to look at the clock. Oh, thank God! It was only eleven. They wouldn't be back for an hour or two.
"I lay back on the couch, thinking of what had happened this evening, all the new thrills I had experienced and the cleverness with which I had seduced a man into making love to me. I was so proud of myself! Guy! I'll bet the other girls don't have a story like mine.
"For the rest of the week I could think of nothing but what happened that last Saturday. This was the most glorious thing that ever happened to me in my entire life. While in school I couldn't concentrate. My thoughts continued to go back to the couch, to my sucking his prick, to him sucking and fingering me. I was in a constant state of sexual excitement that kept me from thinking about anything but naked bodies, pricks, titties, and cunts. The whole world was suddenly made up of people playing with each other, sucking on cocks and clitorises, squeezing and pinching tits, kissing and sucking on tongues. Every man I looked at was a potential lover: every girl I saw was a secret seducer. So this is what the world was really all about, I thought. Who needs school or parents or anything? Shit, all a person needs is to have somebody, a body to play with and to play with you.
"I couldn't wait for the weekend to arrive. When I awoke Saturday morning I was in agony waiting for the sun to go down so that I could go baby-sitting and get another man to make love with. I paced the floor, watching television one minute, rearranging my room the next. I was like a cat on a hot tin roof.
"It was finally six forty-five-time to leave for my love nest. I packed a few extra pieces of make-up so that I could doll up and really look as mature as possible. I was whistling and humming happily. My dad kept giving me funny looks, trying to keep from saying something like, 'What the hell's with you?' But I ignored him and just went on about my business.
"After arriving at the D-s, I proceeded to make myself up. I had to admit, I am a pretty girl, and with mascara, lipstick, and eyeliner I can really be beautiful. After about a half hour of dolling up I went to the phone to make my calls. I hit some real bummers for about ten minutes, then I got this older sounding man. I'd say he sounded about as old as my dad. He seemed interested in talking to me. I didn't know if he was putting me on at first, but as we continued to talk it was obvious he was dead serious. Then I turned the conversation to sex, to see if he was still interested.
" 'Do you like girls?' I purred into the phone.
"He laughed and said, 'I sure do, honey. Are you a girl or a woman?'
"That threw me! After a short pause I came back with, 'Both. I'm a girl who's a woman. Does that sound interesting?'
"He laughed again, like he was playing games with me. Then he said, 'Well, I like anything that's female. That is, females who know they're females. I hope that's why you called.'
"'That's why I called,' I said confidently, 'and I'd like the opportunity of proving to you that I am female. Why don't you come on over and see for yourself?'
"He must've lived right close by, because it couldn't have been more than ten minutes after I gave him the address that there was a knock on the door. I peeked out through the shade to see a man who I'd say was fortyish, graying at the temples, and had a little pot on him. I patted my hair to smooth down any loose fly-away locks and opened the door.
"He stepped in, eyeing me all over while I smiled glowingly at him. Taking his hand in mine I led him to the couch. 'You don't have to worry about anything,' I assured him, 'I'm babysitting, and we have many hours to be alone.' He must have been dumbfounded by my manner, because he sat there with his mouth open, not saying a word.
" 'Just relax,' I said, 'I'll be right back.' As I left the living room I turned the floor lamp off, which was next to the couch, and headed into the kitchen. This left the living room semi-dark, with only the kitchen light spilling dimly across the floor. A moment later I reappeared in the doorway, naked, allowing my silhouette to get his attention.
"There was a noticeably sharp movement of his head as he realized that the form in the dimly lit archway was nude. I walked slowly toward him, swinging my hips rhythmically. As my sleek naked body stood in front of him, I could see beads of perspiration forming on his forehead. Taking one of his hands and placing it on my little ass, I said, 'Am I female enough for you?'
"He petted and squeezed my cheek, which made me warm all over. He kept petting my ass, making me hotter and hotter. Then he suddenly let go and began tearing his clothes off. I never saw a person get undressed so fast in my life. When he was completely naked, he gasped, 'You may be too small to fuck, baby, but you and me are gonna have a good time anyway.'
"I grabbed his half swollen prick and started jacking him off. Those familiar stirrings of passion came back to my little body as the soft flesh in my hand became harder. I could feel the juices flowing and my clitoris, that magic sex button of mine, throbbing and swelling. I dropped to my knees and kissed the head of his hot prick. My pussy started its aching again, that hungry feeling for relief.
"He took my face in his hands. 'Wait a minute, honey,' he said, 'We're gonna suck each other. I want to taste your sweet pussy while I'm in your mouth. We'll do it together.' That meant sixty-nining, something I had always been curious about. The thought of us sucking on each other at the same time got me more excited. We were both breathing heavily, touching our bodies, getting each other more and more passionate.
"He lay down on the couch, flat on his back and motioned me over. I straddled his head and lowered my mouth to that beautiful protruding rod, stiff and waiting for my love. The light was just dim enough to show outlines and skin textures. It was really romantic. Suddenly there was a bolt of hot liquid plunging into my tummy as he sucked my clitoris into his mouth. I plunged my lips down on that tender flesh, enveloping his throbbing prick with my wet mouth. As he sucked and nibbled my sensitive sex flesh, his hands massaged the small cheeks of my ass. It felt so good. My little ass was so sensitive to his fingers.
"We both moaned and sucked harder, each moving and squirming from all the beautiful feelings. He ran his finger up and down my pussy lips and into the crack of my fleshy ass. I groaned loudly as his wet finger brushed my ass-hole. God! I didn't know my ass-hole could be so sensitive! This was something else, new and exciting and wildly different. I felt like a goddess, given the power to be so sensual in so many parts of my body.
"As my tongue swirled and licked his prick, he continued to suck my clitoris and rub that wet finger around my ass-hole. Shivers of passion shook my body at this new stimulation. My ass wiggled and jerked in his firm caressing hands. My ass felt so hot and sexy, like I wanted to be fucked in it. My whole ass and cunt swayed with delirious sex. This different kind of stimulation was building me to a climax faster and faster. I moaned, and twisted my little body around in circles, desperate for more and more touching and sucking. I wanted him to swallow me, his sucking and poking was so good.
"Just as I thought my climax was coming in slow mounting waves, he slipped his finger all the way into my ass and I came in an instant, exploding in what seemed every part of my body. I tried to scream, but his silky-skinned prick muffled my cries. At that moment his big penis spurted its love come full into my mouth.
"Sex is so fantastic, I don't think I could ever stop making out with any guy who wanted to. Each time I make love with a different man there is always something new, something exciting that I didn't experience with any of the others. I don't see how any girl can keep away from it just because somebody says they should. Christ! That's like not ever having ice cream again or a piece of candy."
It isn't difficult to recognize the germinal stage of nymphomania in Judy's case. It is not yet actual, particularly if one considers frigidity as an essential requisite of the said emotional affliction; yet, unless the girl begins to control her promiscuous urges, there is the possibility that her libido will undergo a saturation effect whereby she will seek more and more sexual episodes to satisfy her less and less satiable needs. Extensive therapy is indicated.
CONCLUSION
Young girls who consciously become involved in the seduction of older men must be, for lack of anything better, termed psychopathological and psychosexual delinquents.
The straight use of the term "delinquency" suffers from a looseness of definition. It may include all deviant behavior among the young, ranging from actions that are classed as criminal among adults, such as assault and robbery, to offenses that are strictly age-related, such as truancy, drinking and sexual activities.
The forms of sexual delinquency, such as those we have examined in this book, have steadily increased in almost every country in the world. It appears to be a feature of modern industrial society, in which rapid technological change, high rates of mobility, and the conditions of urban life result in social instability, what sociologists refer to as anomie, or normlessness. The concept of anomie, however, is insufficient to account for the various forms of deviance both between and within cultures.
The essential idea in the theories about delinquency in the early 1950's was that some defect or distortion in the conscience was present. Most experts thought that this abnormality was caused by a constitutional inability to develop an inner control system, by identification with a pathological parent or parent figure, by severe and cruel social and emotionally traumatic experiences in a particular social or cultural group, or by some combination of these factors. Healy and Bonner, pioneers in the field, thought that parental coldness was the major factor. However, Szurek and Johnson demonstrated in their clinical work the high probability of the existence of specific defects in the conscience.1
The Johnson-Szurek thesis is that the antisocial behavior in the adolescent is encouraged unconsciously by a parent or parents who participate in the process, vicariously gain pleasure in the adolescents' deeps, and subtly carry out their own unconscious hostile, destructive and deviant sexual feelings toward the child.
Current ideas about the psychopathology in delinquent behavior usually contain these four elements:
1) Johnson A. M. and Szurek, S. A. "The Genesis of Antisocial Acting Out In Children and Adults." Psychoanalytical Quarterly, 21: 323, 1952.
(I) The child feels significant emotional deprivation and strongly resents it.
(2) The child cannot establish his own range of skills because his parents have not set limits for him.
(3) The parents, especially the mother, are very often overstimulating and inconsistent in their attitudes toward the child.
(4) The child's behavior usually represents a vicarious source of pleasure and gratification for a parent and is often an expression of the parent's unconscious hostility toward the child, as the behavior is either overtly or covertly self-destructive to the child.
The prognosis in treating antisocial and dyssocial reactions in the psychosexual area such as we have been concerned with here is only poor to fair. The main factor in increasing the chance for a complete readjustment to a normal psychosexual attitude rests with both the child and the parents being motivated towards a genuine exploration of the underlying sources of the undesirable behavior, aided, of course, by competent psychiatric help.
