The most standard dictionary definition of incest seems to be summed up as: Sexual intercourse between persons too nearly related to marry. The word itself derives etymologically from the Latin incestus, meaning unpure, unchaste. This origin of the word gives some idea of the present-day taboo concerning the act of incest. And while incest most certainly is not the most widely practiced form of sex, the seeds of incest are in each of us-historically, genetically and psychologically. As a so-called "deviation" it may be one of the most common, although owing to the strong taboo attached to its practice, it is probably the least talked about.
Incest. The very word sounds insidious, evil. Its twin sibilants hiss with warning sounds. Indeed, the act of incest in our society is considered to be the most unforgivable of sins, the most heinous affront to our carefully constructed system of mores. Yet incest is probably man's strongest, oldest and deepest sexual interest, as attested to by literature from Sophocles to Grace Metalious. From the domain of the gods to Peyton Place, incest has continued to be an absorbing subject for man-yet it remains a little-understood facet of past and present society.
This is the principle block in the course of trying to understand the origin of the taboo of incest. Too little is known about the psychological cathexis surrounding the act, and the subsequent doom-laden guilt that results. In the cases under study here, as wide a cross-section of the most common forms of incest is outlined, as it is possible to present in so short a space. This almost universally tabooed act within a family group has been called the "forbidden pleasure", and this term indicates the dichotomy of our complicated feelings about incest. That it is forbidden, we know, but not exactly why; and we cannot deny that powerful pleasure is involved in the act as well. The following case histories are true.
CHAPTER ONE
Heck, what does a sixteen-year-old kid know? I mean, when your own mother catches you with a girl and decides to give you sex herself in order to keep you away from girls who might have some kind of a disease....
"Well, that's what happened! That's how it started last year, but, looking back, I can see that it really started when I was around twelve, when Dad died.
"We were both there when he kneeled over with that heart attack. It scared the shit out me. One minute he's playing football with me and Mom is getting the lunch set up on the patio, and the next minute he's on the ground making some horrible, straining, gasping sounds and his eyes are bugging out and he's clawing at his chest-shit!
"Mom screamed and ran over. I was scared to get close. I just stood there staring. She yelled to me to run in and call an ambulance-call the police.
"I did, fast. I didn't want to be around him. But I had to go out and tell her the cops were coming and an ambulance, too.
"When I got out there, Dad was a funny color in the face-pasty white. He got really still! That was it. Mom went into hysterics and I went all icy and dizzy. It was all over.
"After that, Mom got closer and closer to me. She got very protective and possessive. She said lots of times I was all she had left.
"In fact, about a month after Dad died, she was getting weird-like she couldn't adjust to Dad not being around anymore.
"She's a knockout, Mom is. I mean, you wouldn't think she's thirty-six years old. She looks like maybe twenty-six. And she's built. Shit! That's probably part of why it happened with us, because she's got a body on her that makes men look and look.
"And I think she got so weird after Dad died because she's a sexy woman. I mean, she's ... she and Dad were sex hounds for each other. Even after all the time since I was born, they didn't xool off.
"Lots of times while I was a kid I caught glimpses of them groping each other. They dug each other. It wasn't anything for me to see Dad with his hand on her rear or clamped on one of her big breasts, squeezing away, and her with a soft, sexy smile.
"Couple times I saw her grope his penis. She had a handful, too. I saw Dad in a shower once and he was hung good.
"I guess I got my big penis from him. Mom told me once, a couple times after we started doing it together, she said I had Dad's organ and then some, because I'm taller and heavier and bigger down there, too.
"I keep forgetting....Oh, yeah. She was getting weird; getting nervous and crying all the time after I thought she was over it, after the funeral, and not being able to sleep, like that.
"One night I woke up and she was sitting on the edge of my bed-remember, I was only twelve when this happened-and just looking at me and weeping.
"I got that scared feeling again. Because, man, she was naked! That was the first time I'd ever seen her down to the skin like that.
"There wasn't much light, just from the little glowing night light plugged into the wall socket by the bed, and from the bathroom down the hall. She had come in and left my door open and the light bounced in.
"But I got an eyeful of Mom then. Seeing her bare-ass naked scared me as much as her crying and it being around three a.m. or so.
"Her breasts are really fine; really big and round, and with enough elastic or somethingmuscle, I guess-to keep them from sagging all over the place. Her breasts really sit on her chest like soft melons. That's a corny old way to describe tits, but hers are like that, even now.
"And her belly was flat then, too, and her legs were long. She was sitting sideways a bit, so I couldn't see between her thighs. But I got a look at a dark shadow in there, the top of her fuzz, and I got shivery.
"I asked her what was the matter, and she broke up even more. She threw herself down and hugged me tight.
"I wasn't wearing any pajamas. I was sleeping raw. I still do. But there was only a sheet between her and me. I'd thrown the blanket down because it was a hot night.
"So there I was, a twelve-year-old boy, and his mother was pressing her naked body to him in his bed. I was getting all that heat from her breasts. She was kissing my face and crying. And my arms went around her to comfort her.
"Well, before I knew it, she was under the sheet and we were glued together. She was plastered to me.
"At first it wasn't sexual at all. She was crying and I was scared, just laying there like a log. I couldn't relax.
"She kept moaning, 'I miss him so, I miss him so. Oh, Henry, I need him ... ' I'm Henry, Junior. I was always 'Junior' before this. Dad was Henry. That night I was Henry.
"Maybe she was so far gone she didn't know what she was doing. You know, she was crazy for a few minutes, or something. Or confused. But she started to grope me. She slid her hand down on my belly and right on down so her fingers curled around my cock. Even at twelve I had a good-sized piece of meat, but nothing compared to what I have now.
"But Mom didn't stop there, just holding it. She squeezed and started a slow pumping and playing with it. I started to get hard as hell. I couldn't stop my organ from growing and getting stiff. It felt good, too.
"Mom slid her mouth onto my mouth, and started giving me tongue. I suddenly knew she was making love to me like a grown-up. I knew like a flash she was confusing me with Dad. She didn't know what the hell she was doing.
"She was half, crying and half panting she was so far gone. She started to open her thighs. She got my thigh between hers and was moving against it, crowding it up against her pussy. I could feel her crotch and it was like an oven, all wet and juicy.
"Mom was ... well, she was rubbing herself off against my leg. Working her hips and clutching me and panting and kissing, and her hand was pumping me off, really working me off.
"Come to think of it now, maybe she wasn't so much out of her head then, if she just did that and didn't want me to lay her. Yeah, I think she knew I was her son. She was just so hot and bothered.
"Anyway, I started to dig it. I felt the pleasure start to build up from her jacking me off. That's sure as hell what she was doing-jacking off her son.
"I felt her breasts-those big soft jugs; they were really warm against my chest and arms, and her nipples were hard as rocks, sticking out.
"I had a mouthful of her tongue and I started to learn how to kiss. I started playing tongue games with her and it was fun. I dug it. I was to the point where I didn't give a damn if she was my mother. She was pumping me off great. Her hand was going faster and faster.
"She was really grinding herself against my leg, too, and clutching it with her thighs. She started to tremble against me at the same time, and moan. Now I remember the way she moaned-a weird animal-like moan, like she was in pain. She was really out of control.
"I was up there with her, too, panting and getting stiff as a board as I started to go off from her pumping my organ. I didn't shoot anything much then-I was too young at twelve-but I sure as hell got a tremendous feeling.
"Mom was pumping my rod like crazy! I didn't know it could be done that fast. I went rigid and everything in me went loose and hot and exploded. I vaguely remember thrashing around while her hand whipped up and down on my penis. Mom was making some kind of noise-sobbing. She had my left leg clamped against her sliding vagina and she was going through an orgasm, too. Must have been a couple of them, because after mine ended she was still shaking and sobbing and jerking her juicy pussy against my leg, just above my knee. My leg there was all gooey and slippery from her.
"She didn't let go of my rod. She kept on jacking it, only slower, and my little hard on kept stiff, too. I can go off a couple times in a row like that.
"But I guess with her coming so good the pressure went off in her, and she started to come out of it. She stopped rubbing herself on my leg, stopped pumping my organ, and peeled away.
"Just like that! She was out of the bed and out of the room. I saw her naked for a second as she ran out, and boy, did those big breasts bounce nice, but then I started to think I'd had a wet dream or something.
"It was weird the next morning, too, because she acted like nothing had happened. I didn't say anything, either. But I remembered, and I kept hoping it would happen again. But it never did until she caught me with Rhona and started giving sex to me to keep me away from 'bad' girls.
"Mom is kind of crazy now. I've got to admit that. I mean, she'd have to be to start in with her own son like that.
"Maybe I'm crazy, too, to let her do it and keep on with it, right? I don't give a shit if I am! Want to know why? Because I've had enough experience with girls. I wasn't a virgin when she caught me with Rhona, for shit's sake-I've had enough experience to know that Mom is a terrific lay. And she does it all, man, you know what I mean? It took a few times in the beginning for her to work up to it, but now she ... well, shit, she sucks me off a lot, too. What a mouth! I feel sorry for Dad, losing that. But now I've got her. And I'll tell the truth, I think I'll keep right on with Mom the way we are.
"I'll give you the scene on how it happened last year. Mom went to a show by herself. She never had any dates with men. She was gone, so I invited Peggy over.
"Now, Rhona is a stacked blonde. She's got forty-four-inch tits in D-cups. Bigger than Mom's, but Rhona is built like a cow-all tits and hips. Fat legs. Thick glasses. Clammy hands.
"But Rhona has one groovy virtue, man-she likes to fuck. She loves a big penis, and she practically advertises in school. She knows boys talk and she says it out loud, too, when they kid her like in the cafeteria, some guy'll yell, 'Hey, Rhona, I've got eight inches!' And she'll throw out her arms and yell back, 'Come here, lover, and show me!'
"So Rhona came over a half an hour after Mom left, see, and we got to it right away. She didn't wear a bra that night, just an old sweatshirt and hiphuggers. Rhona in hiphuggers is something else!
"But we got in a clinch on the couch and I got my hand up under her sweatshirt and had a handful of big, soft, Jell-O-tits. Her nipples popped out when I pinched them and rolled them between my fingers.
"That turns her on. She's got very sensitive nipples and loves them to be pinched and hurt a little bit. She screwed up her pudgy face and plastered a kiss on my mouth and I worked my tongue between her lips.
"She dropped her hand down on my pants and found my rod creeping along my leg, getting hard, and she started milking it through my jeans.
"I pulled her sweatshirt up so I could get my mouth on her tits, and she just pulled it up over her head and off.
"There they were: big, jiggling, white sacks of flesh, with those red buttons sticking out. I didn't wait for her to get her head free of her sweatshirt. I grabbed the nearest one and shaped it into a cone, with the nipple popped out like cherry on top while she was giggling, trying to get her head and arms free. I sucked that red nipple into my mouth deep and licked hard with my tongue.
Rhona dug it she arched her back and watched. She started to breathe hard and shiver a little. Her nipple got harder in my mouth and all crinkly.
"She said after a minute, 'Do the other one, too."
"So I grabbed her other breast and molded it up in my hands and started sucking, using my teeth on it, too, a little. She started shivering and sighing, and said her panties were getting soaked.
"I said show me, and she said okay, if I'd get naked, too, and show her my meat. She called it a 'dong."
"So we spent a minute stripping down. She grabbed a couple big pillows from the sofa and got down on the rug.
"Her panties were wet in the crotch. She showed me, and I could see her pussy lips were slippery. She had a sparkle in her eyes, too. But she was just too fat. I mean, the fat wasn't solid on her like on some girls. On Rhona it hung in rolls and folds. And it was clammy to feel. Except her snatch! That was always hot. Her belly hung down over it like a spare tire, but that blonde V was a volcano when she opened up her fat thighs. It was the golden gate.
"She loved to get her hands on my dong, too. She wrapped both her plump little hands around it and pumped it slow and easy, watching the big head get covered and uncovered by the taut, stretched skin and her upper hand.
"She licked her lips a lot, too, and sometimes she'd give in to an impulse or something and lean over and start sucking, just stuff about three or four inches into her mouth and start using her mouth like a pussy up and down, up and down. She wasn't really good at it, though, not like Mom.
"Rhona sucked just to excite herself more, and to get a guy hard if he'd already fucked her once and shot his load into her.
"So that night she play with my manhood for a minute and I slipped about three fingers into her pussy and felt around in that hot,, wet tunnel, and then I got over on top of her.
"She drew her fat thighs up and dropped them open like a loose gate and I sank my rod into her.
"Jelly heaven, man! A real honey hole. She could take all seven and a half inches without a flinch.
"She just fluttered her eyes and opened her mouth wide and gave a shudder when I sank it in.
"I could feel her clit smooth out inside and my penis head prodded so deep in her belly I could feel something up at the end of the tunnel-a kind of wiggly, jerking thing that went crazy when I hit it each stroke.
"Rhona sucked air when I went in like that each time, and her belly went into earthquakes. She said, 'Sock it in, Henry! I love that big dong!'
"I was plowing away good and fast, smacking her pussy, making her gasp, and getting that great glow in my cock, when I heard a noise. I looked up and there's Mom in the dining room doorway, watching us screw!
"Hell, her eyes were like eggs and she was swaying like a tree in a high wind. I thought she was going to have a heart attack, like Dad.
"She was white as a sheet and her hands were shaking. She dropped her purse and didn't know it. She started screaming then, 'Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!' And she came forward and dragged me off Rhona.
"Shit, I was pulling out as it was. My rod was shrinking like a balloon going empty, and I was scared.
Rhona started to puddle up and cry-sort of a wailing.
"What happened then was weird. Mom was hitting and kicking Rhona! Screaming things like, 'Leave my baby alone! You can't have him! You can't take him away from me! I'll kill you!'
"While she's hitting and scratching at Rhona, who's bawling and screaming, too, and covering up and trying to grab her clothes, I'm sitting there on the rug, naked except for socks, just watching.
"Finally Mom ran into her bedroom and slammed the door. Rhona was snuffing and everything. She got dressed quick and left. I got dressed, too.
"Scared? Guilty? You better believe it. I was like a condemned man on death row while I waited for Mom to come out and lay into me."
There have been numerous studies and surveys on the sexual interests, attitudes and practices of children and adolescents. While the exact percentages and proportions in these studies are not important in themselves, the significant finding is that a large number of boys are active sexually in one way or another prior to adolescence.
Long ago, psychologists pointed to the important influence the mother and father have over the growing child. Jung, in his foreward to "The Significance of the Father in the Destiny of the Individual," said:
... not only the father, but the mother as well, is such an important factor in the child's fate: not because they themselves have this or that human failing or merit, but because they happen to be-by accident, so to speak-the human beings who first impress on the childish mind those mysterious and mighty laws which govern not only families but entire nations, indeed the whole of humanity. Not laws devised by the wit of man, but the laws and forces of nature, amongst which man walks as on the edge of a razor.
Freud pointed out that the emotional relationship of the child to the parents, and particularly to the father, is of a decisive significance in regard to the content of any later neurosis. The significance of the father in molding the child's psyche, as Jung points out, may be discovered in the study of the family. The latest investigations show the predominating influence of the father's character in a family, often lasting for centuries.
In Henry's case, the influence of the father was removed early in the child's life, leaving the mother to assume the father image. The mother, however, was not able to function in a dual role, dominated her son, and replaced her husband with her son.
Also, the removal of the father, who was the dominant male of the family, who, in part, prevented Henry from acting out his oedipal wishes, changed the family relationship. As there were no brothers or sisters with whom Henry had to compete for the love object (always the mother in early childhood) or affection, the fear of castration (Oedipus complex) was partially removed. The incest taboo was submerged deep in his unconscious.
By becoming "man of the house," Henry was thrust closer to his mother than before, but in a different relationship than before, too. He now was a husband replacement, acting the part of a strong, protective person to his mother. The behavior of the neurotic mother, coupled with the desire of Henry to comfort her, let to the ultimate incestuous incident.
The relationship was left inactive after the first incident mainly by the mother. At this time, there was no competition for her, and, therefore, she could exercise complete control over her son and their relationship. When such competition appeared, in the form of another, younger woman with whom Henry was having intercourse, the mother released her anger. Surprisingly, she directed her anger not at her son, but rather at the young woman. This seems to be the catalyst for the renewal and furthering of the incestuous relationship.
Morally speaking, it might be hard for some people to blame Henry for his incestuous activity. He looked like his father, thus falling victim to a husband transference by the mother. Moral considerations may have prevented her from seeking an outlet for her sexual urges outside the home.
Henry seems to have suppressed any guilt feelings about the relationship, although it is apparent that the incest taboo was formed in his subconscious.
There are many sexual practices during childhood and adolescence prior to the time when young people find a socially approved sexual outlet in marriage. Back of these practices there are strong appetites and urges, and connected with each practice there is probably a bit of pleasure. But this pleasure is often bought at a price of guilt and pain. Sexual practices in adolescence usually take place furtively and in secret. Even in a group where everybody does it, the adolescent is frequently violating rules laid down by his elders. If his elders are not serious about these rules, they are hypocrites, and that is not a pleasant thing to contemplate.
Henry's mother was not serious about any of the rules given to her son, and therefore they were easily broken and submerged in Henry's subconscious mind. There are probably a few adolescents who can disobey without feeling a twinge of conscience; and, if they can, it probably means that other attitudes are at work, such as apathy or defiance, and such attitudes are not pleasant either.
This, in part, may explain Henry's lack of remorse or guilt at continuing a sexual relationship with his mother. However, there is reason to believe that sooner or later the relationship will be broken off, and most likely it will be Henry who initiates the action. His mother is growing older, and, no doubt, will soon lose her sexual urges, whereupon Henry will tend to transfer his object love to another.
"Maybe, she blew my mind by coming out with her face all powdered and all, and not being mad at all. She was sort of sad.
"We sat down and had a long conversation about sex and stuff, and it came down to her saying she knew I was a man now, at least physically, and that I had certain physical needs and she wasn't going to ask me to try to inhibit them or suppress them. She sort of talked around it being okay if I jacked off as much as I wanted. All she asked me to do was not go with bad girls-easy girls-because that kind of girl had sex with a lot of men and boys and was usually diseased. She made 'diseased' sound like leprosy.
"Then she started questioning me about my sex life, and I had to tell her I'd screwed a few girls and the girls, some of them, had gone down on me.
"She nodded and her eyes got bright. It was weird the way her eyes sparkled. She said, 'I didn't think you could be satisfied with just your hand."
"Well, she had come back from the show because she didn't like the way it started. She also said she had a premonition or something that I needed her.
"A couple hours later I went to bed and was reading a science-fiction magazine when she knocked on my door and came in.
She was in a sheer nightgown, that really made her look like a million-sexy as hell! Hair all brushed and smelling great with perfume-and nothing under that gown!
"She had that sparkly look in her eyes, and her mouth was all soft and loose, not tensed up like earlier.
"She pretended I wasn't staring. Shit, I could see everything! I could see her bush and her nipples. The gown was peach colored and had a couple layers, but I could still see through it.
"She sat on the edge of my bed. She put her hand on my leg, on the covers, and said, 'Henry, I hope you don't mind, but I have to ' check and see ... and see if you have any symptoms."
"I froze up. She pulled the covers down off me, clear down to my knees and inspected my penis.
"It was soft as a noodle at first. She fingered it and pulled the skin back, then she said, "I want it to get hard, Henry. I can check for certain things better that way."
"And she started to play with it! She has that soft, magic touch, you know? Just perfect. And she sort of stuck her tongue between her lips as she did it, and licked her lips ... Heck! My manhood started to grow, all right! With the way she was squeezing and rubbing and fingering in just the right places, a corpse would have gotten a hard on.
"So my meat got stiff and started to jerk and throb. The more she played with it, the more it grew. Man, I've never had a bigger hard on. I'll bet my organ was seven-and-a-half inches for sure, with her soft, white hand running the skin up and down so great.
"I was sort of breathing fast and shallow. And she was flushed and her eyes were like diamonds. She handled my flesh and looked at it.
"She said, 'Don't think you have anything ... Very clean and ... hard ... and ... large
... ' Her breasts were moving in and out and she was breathing deep. She didn't take her hand away.
"Mom finally told me, 'Turn off the light, Henry."
"I reached up and snapped the switch on the reading lamp over my bed. Suddenly it was dark except for light from the hall. Her hand kept on sweeping up and down on my dong. Shit, man, I was getting that feeling, that sensation! If she kept it up, I'd shoot all over like a geyser!
"She said, 'I know I shouldn't have stopped you while you were in that fat, ugly tramp. I know I cheated you, darling."
"I started to get the idea, then. But I thought she was just going to finish me off with her hand.
"But Mom said, 'I'll make it up to you, darling.' And she stretched out beside me on the bed. 'Pretend I'm one of the girls you've made love to. Do what you want to, darling? She was whispering in my ear, and her hand was teasing my rod.
"I just couldn't believe it at first. Then I did. I started to sweat. Then I got the shivers. But she was so warm against me, and so sexy and young-looking, and her hand ... slow and easy....
"It took me about two minutes to put it all together, remembering the time I was twelve and all.
"I just didn't have it in me to say no. I knew it was wrong to fool with my mother, but she was fooling with me! She was practically begging me to screw her!
"So I turned on my side toward her and her mouth was waiting. We kissed, and it was like honey and fire. Shit-what a tongue. I forgot right then and there she was my mother.
"I started fooling around. I put my hands on her big breasts, and they were deep and warm and the nipples were puffed up and hard before I fingered them. I had trouble with her gown, so she got up, took it off and came back down to me naked. Naked! I got dizzy. I started sucking on her nipples and she took one of my hands and put it on her pussy.
"She was sopping wet, drooling juice. She put her hands on my head and just barely whispered, real faint, 'Fuck me, Henry ... it's been so long ... lay me."
"My rod was hard as iron. I was breathing like a steam engine. I got on top of her. All I could think of was getting inside her and screwing.
"She pulled her knees up and hooked her hands under to hold them high and wide. She was wide open for me.
"She was sort of wheezing with a catch. Her eyes were shut tight, squeezed shut, and her lips were trembling.
"Then I put my manhood into her slit and something made me work it up and down in the crack, getting it all gooey with her juice.
"Mom was shaking. That was scary. She gasped, 'Put it in, put it in, put it in ... '
"I pushed the head down to the hole and sank it into her. She gave a little cry and the breath went out of her, then in, real quick.
"I only had about half of my rod in her then, see, and I guess I knew she'd been a long time without, so I had to take it easy.
"So I worked it in and out slow. Man, I wanted to slam it all, really screw! But I held back and dug further in, little by little. Shit, that was heaven, that honey fist in her belly. Like she had a bunch of fingers tightening and loosening around my organ ... over and over.
"I kept plowing in and in, sinking the hard meat deeper and deeper, and breathin' so loud I could hardly hear her gasping.
"She was starting to wriggle under me and raise up to get more organ. So I gave it to her, finally. I shoved the last two inches into her pussy. She bucked and quivered and sucked air and I pulled back and shoved it all in again-hard, man, hard! And she jerked and went, "Uhh!' Her eyes flew open wide and she let her legs go and threw her arms around my back and planted her feet wide on the bed and went wild for my rod.
"Shit, man, did we screw! She's got a honey fist in her belly all right. She can do things with her pussy you wouldn't believe.
"I started to get that itchy glow in my guts and in my penis. I was throwing it all into her, man, slamming all seven-plus inches into that hot jelly hole. I couldn't stop. I was really grinding it in, shaking the bed, making her bounce!
"I couldn't see straight. I was just a big wet stick going in and out as fast and as hard as I could. I was going to shoot!
"I forgot this woman was my mother. I was way past thinking about that. My whole body was involved. I wasn't feeling anything but that great buildup of pleasure in my organ.
"She was squishy and hot down there. Each time I thrust all the way in and smacked her pussy, she went all trembly and a wild gasp was ripped out of her mouth.
"I pumped faster and faster. I was out of control. I was into that last sweep up to the top of the mountain.
"I think she came, too. I don't remember much about her. I vaguely remember her shoving up to meet my penis, and her belly and breasts were sweaty and slippery under me, and her nipples were soft-yeah-her nipples were soft just then.
"And she was just about screaming and moaning and going crazy. It was the wildest lay I ever had.
"Then I was gritting my teeth and bowing my neck and shoving my life into that golden hole. I came apart. I shot a wad like I've never shot before! You can't come near describing a climax that strong! Shit! It tore my guts loose and blew my head off!
"The next thing I knew I was laying on Mom, sort of glued to her with sweat and my rod was like a dead log in her clit. She was petting my hair and running her hands up and down my back and over my ass. She kept whispering, 'My darling Henry, my darling, my darling ... '
"But then it fell on me like a brick wall-I'd just screwed the heck out of my own mother! All the fear in the world blew up in me then. I got all tense and terrified! I tried to get away, out of her arms, but she held me. She crooned at me, 'It's all right, Henry, darling, it's all right, it's all right."
"So, I just laid there on her and after a couple minutes I quieted down and it was nice. Mom was very soft and warm.
"Oh, yeah-something I remember-weird. Right after I shot my wad into her and came down out of the clouds, I felt her nipples rise up like stones. I mean, they got hard as rocks for a minute, and she was going through a lot of tremblings and the like that, like a broken spring unwinding little by little.
"Anyway, my rod was still in her, only it was soft and shrunk up. I wasn't thinking about doing it again. My mind was still all churned up.
"Then Mom whispered in my ear, 'Was it good for you, Henry?'
"I whispered back, 'Yeah, sure."
"Then she knocked me out with, 'You can do it again if you want to."
"That was like a turn-on. My organ started to come alive. It started to creep up into her belly, and get thicker and thicker as it got longer.
"She gave out a long sigh. 'Oh yes ... ' She started a slow movement with her hips and belly, like a wave motion almost, real smooth and sexy. It made my organ really swell up and start throbbing.
"It was a groove the way we did that second screw. Slow and easy. I had a long time to appreciate it and watch her while it happened. I was turned off by her being my mother, and turned on for the same reason. Really confusing.
"She whispered to me while we moved together. My rod was sunk in her all the way, man, with just an inch or two moving, and I could tell she really dug having that much hard meat in her clit. Her muscles in there were squeezing and milking my rod really good.
"She repeated a lot of that stuff about me being grown up now, physically, and needing love and sex, and she didn't want me to get sick from not having it, and how she didn't want me going to 'tramps' and low class girls who have disease, because so many teenagers catch V.D. from each other.
"We're glued together, warm and tight, and the old ramrod is sliding in her vagina a little faster, and pushing up in her guts and making her shiver and gasp a little as she talks.
"Then, while we both got close to coming again, she whispered passionately, really worked up, 'Darling, come to me when you need relief! Come to me. Stay away from bad girls. Don't leave me! I'll do everything with you! Oh, everything! Ohhh, yes...."
"Then she had her fingers digging into my ass, pulling me in, wanting all I had, wanting it fast and deep and hard again.
"I let go and screwed wild! Her thighs went wide open and she was taking it and loving it. Every time I went in, there was a squishy smack and the bed creaked.
"We were both gasping and holding on. I had my hands full of her big tits. God, what handfuls!
"Mom's eyes got a glazed look to them. Her mouth went open and she started to shudder-her belly jumped and she was squirming and panting like crazy.
"Then she gasped, 'I can't-believe-it!' Her face twisted like rubber, like she was in some kind of agony, and then I blew it all in a terrific climax.
"After that, there was a lot of slowing down. We were both shot. Sticky and sweaty. Finally, she said, 'I've got to take a shower now, darling. You take one after I get through.' She sort of rolled out from under me and picked up her sleeping gown, and walked out of my room like she laid her son every day.
"I just laid there going through changes. A minute after she was gone I was half sure it hadn't happened, just some weird sex dream.
"But I heard her in the bathroom, heard the shower start and she started to sing.
"I started to shake. Then I giggled. I couldn't stop giggling. I put my head under the covers.
"So that's how it started with Mom and me last year. That was the first time I screwed her. You know, saying that sends a weird feeling through me. Saying it out loud makes it sound perverted as hell.
"So a couple days went by. I could have screwed the next day, but-shit, how do you ask your own mother if you can screw her? I mean, sure, I knew she dug it, but still ... it was impossible.
"Finally, the third day after that first night, I'm home from school, and I'm pounding the books, and my rod is hard as a rock in my pants. It wants to get off, you know? Dongs are like that.
"I couldn't concentrate. And then Mom came home from work and goes around the house, humming and vacuuming and she looks in on me in my room and smiles and ruffles my hair. She smelled nice, and it all came into my mind, seeing her close and so damn solid and real. Those breasts....
"I think she saw what I wanted in my eyes. She bent over and kissed me on the mouth-warm and soft and sweet and full of her tickling little tongue.
"And she whispered, 'I'll shower and be with you in a few minutes, darling."
"She kissed me again, hot and wild, and left me. I didn't know what to do. Undress and get on the bed? What? Would she come back naked or in a robe or dressed?
"Finally I hurried up and got undressed and put on my blue-striped robe. She was in the shower. I went into the kitchen and washed my penis there.
"It was still daylight outside. I pulled down the shade in my room and the room was sort of soft and dim and golden.
"Then I just sat on my bed and waited, with my stomach in knots, my organ half hard, and my penis half hard, and my heart pounding.
"She came in wearing a slinky green robe, and her nipples stuck out and her breasts jiggled and swayed.
"She shut the door and she smelled wonderful. I started shaking again. My mouth got dry, my stomach was curdled.
"She sat beside me and told me not to be afraid and it was okay. She put her hand on my leg and I saw her hand tremble.
"She turned me gently toward her and I could see down into her robe to the white melons, and her right thigh came uncovered. And she kissed me.
"The next thing I knew she was sliding her hand into my robe and playing with my penis, which was stiff as a bone by now.
"Mom kisses like a dream. She really knows how, and she taught me how to kiss good, too, that afternoon. It was a game.
"We played and kissed and laughed and giggled ... and pretty soon our robes were wide open and everything was showing and being touched.
"She kept saying, 'Do what you want, Henry, and so will I!' And she did. She shed her robe and I did, too.
"She got on top of me for a minute and kissed me and wriggled on my organ. It was burning against her belly.
"She asked me, 'Do you like it very much when a girl uses her mouth on you?' She had her lips close to my ear. Her big breasts were squashed on my chest. Her nipples were like hot stones. "I nodded and said, 'Sure!'
"She breathed into my ear and made me squirm. She said, 'I used to do that for your father a lot. He loved it. I loved doing it for him, too."
"I went all cold and hot. My mind was a bubbling swamp. So was my stomach. I knew what I wanted to say and what she wanted me to say. After a minute I got my throat unstuck and swallowed and got it said. A weird tenseness was in me. It was like it wasn't me who said it. A voice said, 'Do it to me, too.' The voice cracked and half-whispered.
"Mom said, 'Yes, Henry, my darling. I'll do anything you want.' And she started to wriggle down on my body.
"She gave me a helluva sexy, hot, tongue kiss first, then moved down. She kissed my chest and my belly and got closer and closer to my rod. I was stiff as a board. I could hardly breathe.
"She kissed all around it. She lifted it up with her left hand and rubbed it against her cheek. She had her eyes closed. She didn't open them at all.
"She started kissing the side of my penis. It was jumping in her hand like a rabbit. My eyes were bugged out. I was shaking.
"She was sort of smiling as she kissed it. Then she lifted up her head and opened her mouth and started licking the pink head, round and around, slowly letting her mouth come down on it more and more until she closed her lips on it and really started to suck me off! Shit, man! Wow!!! Mom can suck a guy's in-sides out. She turns me to soup and then she boils it and up it comes.
"I couldn't believe the wild sensations she was giving me! The technique was out of sight. Lots of girls will clamp down tight on a penis, you know? Try to get you off fast and quick with a lot of jacking off while they suck.
"But Mom started slow and easy, and her mouth was sort of loose and caressing inside, and her tongue was fluttering around like a hummingbird. It was so sweet, kind of, so exquisite. Like, those are special words to describe it.
"She's a screwing expert penis-lapper, Mom is. That's what she is. It's a sick scene, maybe, but I'm not complaining.
"So she's got my big, hard dick in her hands, holding it loose and nice, and her mouth has got the head and she's licking inside like a genius. And I'm shaking like crazy, I was so hot and worked up.
"Mom started dipping her head, taking more and more dong in her mouth, taking a lot, man, sliding her warm, wet lips down the old shaft. I could feel more and more of her tongue, you know? I mean, not just the tip, but the flat part as she took my penis clear back to her throat.
"I didn't know what a really great blow job was until then. All the girls who'd done me before then were like rank amateurs. Duds!
"Mom was moving her head up and down slow, no hurry, taking it all the way back, about four inches of it, and I was feeling her soft places back in her throat-they were jumping and spasming, I guess you'd say.
"It was pure heaven! And she was making some gagging sounds when she took so much, each time, but she kept on.
"I got that boiling sensation in my rod and balls. I was breathing fast and deep and squirming around on my ass, throwing my dick way up into her mouth-I couldn't help it!
"She knew I was close but she didn't stop. She didn't speed up or do anything different, her tongue just started to do a weird sideways slide against the underside of my rod, and that wiped me out!
"That sent me over the fucking edge! I started to grunt and thrash and I think I gasped out that I was going to shoot. But she kept on with that terrific tongue motion and taking my dick deep.
"I went all fiery and blind and panting like crazy and bug-eyed seeing her stay with it. And then my back lifted up, my ass lifted and I was rigid. I came like a volcano erupting!
"I was out of my head! I was shooting in my mother's mouth! She was taking it, sucking, sucking, swishing that magic tongue....
"Oh shit, man, there ain't words.
"It was over too soon, though, and at the same time it was so strong I couldn't have endured it any longer.
"I let her lick me clean. That's what she did. Then she wriggled up beside me again. She laid her head on my shoulder. I didn't know what the hell to say.
"She asked me, 'Was that better than any other girl did?'
"I forgot myself and said, 'Shit, yes!'
"She broke out laughing. She hugged me. 'I know you won't leave me now."
"I grinned and was actually blushing because I used a dirty word. Do you believe the human animal?
"Then I started wondering if I could go down on her. I wanted to try it, but I'd never done it all the way before. Once with Rhona I'd got my face down there, but she smelled fishy and I backed out.
"But I knew Mom was clean. And I was getting used to her being my mom and doing sex with me. So I said it. I stumbled a little and hesitated, but I said, 'I'd like to do it to you."
"She kissed me and said, 'I'd love you to do it, darling."
"I could tell she wanted it; she was squirmy and hot. I didn't have any sap running in me that minute, though. I played with her breasts and licked the nipples, but I didn't feel any big thrill.
"But I slid down on the bed and got my head down between her thighs and touched her pussy with my fingers. Her lips down there were all slick and loose, the pussy hair was wet around there. She had a kind of woman smell. It wasn't bad. In fact, it kind of turned me on.
"Mom's thigh muscles were trembling, and she was sucking her belly in and out. She drew her knees up, too, and held herself open. Her eyes were full of sparkle and a kind of hope, I think.
"I really didn't want to put my mouth on her and lick down there, but I more or less had to, you know?
"So ... I stuck out my tongue and did it. I figured I'd do it a couple minutes, then quit. I tasted that juice she was oozing and it was a sharp, acidy taste at first, then it went away, as a taste.
"And what got to me was the way Mom reacted to my tongue in her slit. I mean, she started to make wild noises, and her pussy started to move up against my lips with little, smooth jolts.
"She moaned, 'More tongue ... higher, darling.' And when I did that, I found I was licking her clit. Now, this is weird, but I forgot she probably had a go-button like every other girl. She was different someway, in my mind. But when I tongue-touched that stiff little cherry in that juicy gash of hers-and she started to come apart like that-then I got shivery from wanting to make her come from my tongue.
"I started to really work my tongue in her, licking in and out and up and down and in circles on that hard clit of hers.
"Mom was really shaking and squirming. I could see up over her sucking belly and her nipples were soft and her face was all crumpled up. She had her arm over her eyes.
"Then she went off, crying and bucking and panting faster and faster. Her clit got all super-hard and had a kind of electric feel to it to my tongue.
"She was like in extreme pain. But I knew she was into a helluva climax. While this was going on, my dick started to get hard as an iron pipe. I had to reach under to adjust the angle.
"I kept on tonguing Mom and she seemed to be going off like a string of rockets were shooting off in her pussy.
"She was all red in the face, and I saw her nipples were up and all crinkled up hard. She gasped, 'Oh God, darling-oh, Henry! Oh, my Henry! Ohhhh!'
"It was like these words were just ripped out of her by what she was feeling. It was scary and great! But it got to the point where I was squirming around on my belly with my dick itching and jerking and ready to go.
"I just couldn't wait any longer, man. I stopped licking her clit, got up on my hands and knees and came up onto her.
"Mom was gasping like crazy, sort of wild-eyed and confused for a second, but then she felt the big prod poking around at her pussy and she sobbed-really sobbed, man. 'Yes, oh screw me!'
"She started to reach down to grab and put it in, but the old pink head found her clit all by itself and I plowed it in hard.
"Oh, man! The feel of all that hot jelly first surrounding my dong and pumping and squeezing. I had it all in, man! I wasn't being slow about it, either. I was steaming it in and out like a pile driver right from the start.
"It was like before, even better maybe, because I wasn't so tense and knotted up. I was really digging that pleasure, that pure pleasure!
"Mom was in the same bag. She was like an animal under me. Just a female animal getting a royal screw.
"I was slapping my belly against hers, and feeling her insides get that tight, jumpy motion, and watching her face get lines as she rode up the mountain to another climax.
"She made a sound like something was being forced out of her throat, and went all spasmy around my buried rod.
"That's when I went off, too-all fire and cream and gasping for air and whipping my rod into her so fast and hard I couldn't stand it because I was shooting my guts and brains and everything!
"It was too much, man.
"After that time with Mom I didn't wait for her to offer. I wasn't bashful at all.
"Couple days later I waited till she had her bath, then I took mine and went right into her room and found her in her robe, cutting her toenails. I didn't have to say anything. But I did say, 'Hey I could use some action."
"And she came right over to me, smiling, and kissed me and said, 'I'll give you all you want, darling.'"
Henry was able to submerge his guilt feelings arising from the incest taboo. His mother, as he says, became "different" in his mind. He no longer thought of her as his mother, but as a pleasure-bringer, causing the pleasure instinct to overshadow the sexual instinct of preservation. The result is that Henry was able to carry on with his incestuous relationship without having his guilt feelings surface.
However, as his mother grew older before his eyes, and as his outside world grew up, so to speak, Henry saw other women and he was able to transfer his love from his mother to another woman.
With proper counseling, Henry should have little or no further trouble with his incest taboo.
CHAPTER TWO
"Unfortunately, people too often become embroiled in the paths of incest at so young an age that they cannot possibly see where it will lead them. Like so many things in life, we never believe that it can happen to us. What I mean is, for instance, teenagers are given to excesses-whether it's liquor, sex, drugs, or whatever-and even if they are aware that these things can become habits, it never occurs to them that they may well be the ultimate victims.
"And pretty much the same thing applies to incest. You start to fool around with an uncle, or a niece, or your father, or-as in my case-your brother and the next thing you know you're in too deep. For years you deny it, refuse to believe it, and then one day you just have to sit down and have a little talk with yourself. It's time to look in the mirror of your soul and face yourself honestly.
"Can you imagine what it's like to live every day in total and consuming guilt? Can you imagine what it's like to be terrified that others will find out what you've done and shun you, scorn you, even hate you? To know that your entire life is against the law and that you can go to jail for it? To have to move far away from your own hometown because the scandal would be unbearable? To give up your entire family and all your childhood friends? And, of course, to know that, because of what you've done, you dare not bring your own children into the world? It's a very, very heavy cross to carry.
"I suppose I don't know very much about it, but incest in today's society has about as much acceptance and compassion as homosexuality had in the nineteenth century. Maybe there's some so-called swinging, elite, chic, cultured crowd somewhere, some Greenwich Village Bohemia where such things would be considered amusing, or commonplace, but I am not a part of that kind of a crowd. And, even if it did exist, I strongly doubt that incest would be 'amusing."
"We're supposed to be undergoing a massive sexual liberation in this country, but they don't mean incest when they talk about it. That still blows the minds of most people, no matter how free and liberated they may claim to be. It's almost chic to be gay nowadays, and I understand that pedophilia is commonplace in metropolitan areas. But that's got nothing to do with incest! People are not yet ready for sex between close relatives! it makes them very nervous, very anxious about their own attitudes toward their immediate relatives. You and I could spend weeks agreeing with each other that everyone has had incestuous feelings at one time or another ... but try to get any single individual to agree with you! It takes honesty, something most people are really quite incapable of.
"In our case, if that's the correct word to use, Mel and I lived a double life for years and years, never quite able to see or admit, just exactly where we were or why. We'd always been very close, perhaps even exceptionally so. Our folks traveled a great deal, and maybe that's what led to our exceptional rapport and dependence. You seldom hear of brothers and sisters being all that close-they usually can't stand to be in the same room with each other until they're much older, more mature about the relationship.
"But even though Jim's younger than I am by two years, I've always had sort of a dual role with him: one was to watch over him, to take care of him and be sort of a foster mother, and the other was to defer to his judgment about many things simply because he's a boy.
It was always 'Mel, please fix this,' or 'Mel, what do you think about this issue or that,' and so on. Always checking with Mel, even though he's younger, just because he's a boy. I suppose this attitude is changing, and certainly women's lib will bring about radical changes in children's attitudes toward the sexes. When I was growing up, boys knew about 'important things' and girls knew about domestic things or were held to be, at best, arbiters of the chaos in a man's world.
"When I was about fifteen, I became terribly interested in boys, but they frightened me. I had a slight crush on a boy in school. Slight is the wrong word; it was a major passion at the time! Only a fifteen-year-old girl could possibly be so massively in love! I don't even think it's fair to call that sort of extreme emotion anything more than 'being in love'; it's closer to a sudden metamorphosis, a Jekyll and Hyde personality conversion! I'd had long talks with Mel about this boy, about what boys like and what a girl should know about winning over such a prize. Mel, of course, thought I was insane to feel that way about anyone, but Mel was only thirteen.
"One night, and I suppose it was inevitable, Mel and I were home alone. We'd just turned off the TV and were getting ready for bed. I had gone into Mel's room to say good-night, and the next thing either of us knew, I'd gotten him into another conversation about boys and girls. It was very damp and chilly that night, and I'd climbed into bed with Mel, under the blankets to keep warm.
"We both dozed off. It may sound silly, but I swear it's the truth ... the next thing I knew, I was almost on top of Mel, kissing him hard, and with one leg across his groin I could feel his youthful erection quite easily. Yes, it occurred to me to stop right then and there, to 'be strong' and go back to my own room. But it was as if someone had thrown my body switch on ... I was vibrating with new sensations and thrills, burning with curiosity. It was as if someone had turned me on from barely being aware of my own body to being super sensitive, feeling every pore, every hair on my body come alive and full of sensations.
"Mel, the poor boy, didn't seem able to decide what to do either with me or the situation. He had a hard on that a lot of grown men would have envied. I suppose the truth of the matter was that neither of us was doing much thinking of any kind-just raw, youthful, animal feeling. The first sexual encounter can be little more than that when neither of you has had any previous experience. It's a lust which has built and built, a Savage need for physical outlet that knows no boundaries, no taboos.
"Before either of us had even considered the possible social implications of our act, we had already gone too far. The next thing I knew, Mel was on top of me, sweating and grunting, and he had his rigid dick up inside my snatch, huffing and pumping for all he was worth. There was no thought to finesse, or possible pain when breaking my hymen, or even to lasting long enough to be sure that I, too, enjoyed an orgasm. Needless to say, the entire episode didn't even last five minutes-and that's a generous estimate. And, of course, I didn't have an orgasm.
"I think it took Mel longer to get his rod inside of me than it took him to come. I was aware of some pain when he broke the hymen, but nothing severe, and after Mel's orgasm, I was primarily concerned with my own frustration. Remember that Mel is younger than I am, and at his age he was used to doing pretty much what I told him to do.
"Mel fell asleep almost instantly after his orgasm, and I spent a goodly amount of time wondering what it all meant, feeling myself all over, and trying to guess what an orgasm would feel like. By the time I dozed off, I'd pretty much made up my mind that Mel would come in very handy in my life and that he and I would continue to have intercourse until we both had the whole thing down pat. I suppose you think that was very cold-blooded of me, very foolish, and highly selfish. But at fifteen, I didn't look at things in an adult way (much as I might have argued the point at the time).
"To me, I had experienced something new, something that was going to affect my entire life and happiness, and Mel could only benefit from the experience of our mutual learning about sex. I had it all worked out in my mind, all very logical and practical. And, of course, with the lucidity of hindsight, it never occurred to me that what I would do with my own brother could possibly have anything to do with the rest of my life. We take our siblings so much for granted that it seems as if they're simply around for our own convenience.
"And so our nocturnal experiments began. I convinced Mel that he should get his hands on some kind of a marriage manual, that I would study it, and then we could practice what it suggested. He did, and whenever our parents were out for the evening or away on a weekend, Mel and I diligently exercised our new interest-an interest that was rapidly becoming an obsession. Unfortunately, the sex manual was a religious manual-and you know how they are about sex. It was eloquent in what it didn't tell you!
"By this time, the boy I'd had such a crush on was beginning to notice me-but he was just a little too late with his adolescent interest. I don't know if my adoration would have waned anyhow or not, but doubtlessly my frequent romps with Mel played an important part. By the time Willis realized I was alive, I'd really lost all feeling toward him other than a rather condescending interest, very much the way one might examine someone else's hobby or collection. When Willis asked me out for a date, I accepted, but it was out of purely academic curiosity-just to more or less see what it was about him that had appealed to me in the first place. And, of course, after the evening's buildup and entertainment, followed Will's sexual advance. I think he was surprised when I offered neither cooperation nor resistance. Primarily, I wanted to see what another boy's organ looked like, and to see if screwing with someone else was more pleasurable than screwing with Mel.
"Willis parked his car in a secluded spot along the coast, put his arm around my shoulder, and placed his sweaty hand on my knee. 'You're really growin' up, Iris. Turning into a real beauty. I've been watching you for some time now, keeping an eye on you."
"Can you imagine a boy saying something like that to a date? He made it all sound as if I were up for a promotion. I very nearly laughed. But I said nothing and waited while his hot hand crept up my leg. Finally, Willis kissed my cheek and as I turned to say something, he pressed his lips to mine, his hot, rough tongue stabbing at my mouth ineptly, his grubby moist hands pawing at me, kneading my back and furtively fumbling forward to my young breasts. Willis was literally drooling his grunting, greedy passion as if unable to believe his good luck.
"It was, in some ways, rather disgusting. But it was giving me a sense of power and superiority which more than compensated. I felt his hot breath upon my neck as he showered nervous kisses upon me, and repeated to the point of boredom his question of whether or not this was my 'first time.' But I smiled and finally undid the buttons of my blouse, exposing my youthful breasts to this lout. Willis' face drained white at my action, and his head bobbed instantly to feast upon my flesh, sucking at my nipples like some oversized infant. While he busied himself at my tits, I let my hand wander to his crotch to feel the hard dick imprisoned in his pants, and felt its ready heat.
"I must admit that I was surprised at the size of Willis' rod; it hadn't occurred to me that the difference between Jim's and Willis' ages would have such a considerable difference in the size of their organs! I found myself being enormously turned on, anxious as all hell to get that rod up inside of me. I wriggled my torso, my hips, until I managed to get Willis so hot that he couldn't stand it any longer. We stumbled out of the car and stretched out on the beach, quickly removing our clothes. Within seconds, Willis' warm body was covering mine, and he was tongue-kissing me-something that Mel and I had not yet discovered on our own. I had Willis' rigid penis caught between my thighs so that I had it pinioned against my own burning snatch.
"His dong was fantastic! It stretched the length of my clit and grazed beyond the cheeks of my ass at the sand. What a stud he was. If only he hadn't been such a mental midget. I brought Willis' face to my left breast, pushing my hard nipple against his lips, and I began to flex my thigh muscles against his poker-hot rod until he took my breast into his mouth and began to kiss it. His tongue washed my aching nipple, teasing it with little flicking motions. I couldn't help moaning my pleasure, feeling my breasts being loved, and having Willis' turgid organ captured between my legs. His hand began to caress my body, running roughly the length of my side from my calf up to my waist, up to cup my breast as he suckled on it, and to knead my back, my buttocks. He was a coarse, fumbling sort of lover, but he did know a few things that weren't in the sex manual.
"'Let me go inside you, Iris, please ... let me go inside you!'
"Well, I don't know what kind of girl Willis was accustomed to dating, but who the hell would go that far with him and then stop? She'd have to be a pretty cold number, that's for damned sure.
"'I'm so hot for you, Iris, so good and hot ... I've gotta get inside you, gotta fuck you
"'Who's stopping you?' I managed to say and no sooner had I said it than Willis was all over me. I spread my legs only slightly, just enough so that I could feel my cunt juices running down to the crack in my ass, enough so that Willis' rod could slip on my wetness and know how fucking ready I was, too. I was so hot to have Willis' big fat shaft up inside of me that my pussy felt ready to burst with anticipation. Finally, he found my hole and pressed his engorged tool against the opening, entering slowly as if he were afraid that he would hurt me. But his rod felt so good entering me, spreading the lips of my vagina and filling me up so that my walls were tight around his shaft, that I forgot about my role of innocent girl friend and gave myself over to the enjoyment of a good lay. He was too far into me to stop what he was doing even if he should suddenly realize that he wasn't ducking a virgin.
"'Shove it into me, Willis, fill me up with that big thing of yours!' I commanded hoarsely, and when he didn't respond immediately, I lifted my long legs and, placing my feet on his buttocks, I shoved hard on his ass until his entire dick was imbedded to the hilt inside me, until I could feel that huge thing knocking against my cervix until I thought it would come out of my throat.
"What a magnificent piece of meat he had! My sphincter stretched to accommodate his pulsing shaft to where there wasn't any more room to move. Willis rested on top of me getting his breath, his adolescently hairy chest tickling my breasts exquisitely, and his balls resting gently against my ass.
"'Love me, Willis, let me have all of you. Now ... now! Fuck me real hard!' I screamed at him as he slowly began to withdraw that gorgeous prick so that I could feel its hardness like a greased piston inside my vagina. And then Willis began to let me have it. Long, lingering, beautiful strokes as he pushed his big rod into me, then withdrawing slowly leaving an emptiness in its wake.
"'I'm gonna screw you good, Iris, I'm gonna really screw you real good!'
"I said nothing. Why should I? I ran my hands all over his body, caressing him, teasing him, even dipping a finger into his asshole to spur him up inside of me. That was something I hadn't done to Mel, but seeing how it affected Willis, I'd remember to try it the next time Mel and I were having sex. It really worked, too. Willis became like an animal, thrusting his big dick up into me brutally, shoving and twisting his body as he did so in a rocking, corkscrew way, filling me entirely with his burning, hard flesh. He thrust and parried with his cock inside my hot hole as I helped him, arching myself up to meet his entries, wrapping my legs around his waist and clinging to his pistoning penis. He rode me into one delicious sexual plateau after another, his balls slapping at my ass, his grunts loud in my ear, his sweat mingling with my own.
"It was terrific! How long he screwed me like that, I'm not sure, but it seemed like a very long time. I felt my first orgasm coming as I knew Willis was reaching his.
"'I'm going to come, Willis,' I said, almost as an exclamation of surprise more than anything else. 'I'm going to come ... to ... to ... come ... now. Yes, like that, harder, deeper ... yes, yes ... that's beautiful, Willis. I'm coming!"
"Even as I began my own ecstatic spasming, I felt him begin shooting his sperm into me in great gobs of thundering waves splashing against my womb. It was the most fantastic moment in my life-truly overwhelming. I'll never forget Willis because of it. I knew then what it was all about, why kingdoms were lost and empires built-sex had to be the most beautiful thing in the entire world!
"Even as Willis was rolling off of me, exhausted and talking about stupid things like love and contraceptives in one breath, I was anxious to get home and share my experience with Mel, to tell him that now I'd be able to give him even greater pleasure because I could come too. It never dawned on me that I really didn't need Mel anymore, that I could screw around with any other guy, older guys, not related to me; all I could think about was rushing home to Mel and telling him all about it, and sharing it with him the very next time we could be alone together. I suddenly wanted to stick my finger up Mel's ass and drive him wild the way Willis got. And I wanted Mel to kiss my breasts, not just fondle them as he had in the past. Oh, there were so many things I had to learn, and teach Mel. What seems silly, in retrospect, was that it was all so innocent at the time. I never once had a 'dirty' thought-not consciously, anyway; never felt that we were doing anything bad. We were teenagers growing up and learning about life together. What could possibly be wrong with that?
"My curiosity about sex and its variations became almost uncontrollable, and no sooner would I experience some tiny little variation that I would rush home to tell Mel all about it, ideally, to practice it right away. It was as if Mel were an extension of myself. We understood each other so completely, enjoyed each other's company so totally, that there was nothing that happened in his life that he didn't tell me about, and vice versa.
"In the case of sex, we just naturally fell into a pattern. Mel didn't seem to have any luck with getting girls on his own; he wasn't a strong boy, an athlete, or any of those things that very young girls think desirable. He was very intelligent, studious, perceptive, sensitive, and had many other marvelous qualities, but he wasn't Mr. America. So girls his own age tended to ignore him or think him strange.
Consequently, Mel leaned upon me more and more. And as it developed, he never had to learn how to masturbate like other boys his age; if he was hot, he had me. And if he wasn't hot, I'd soon make him that way.
"Jim became more and more introverted, and spent whatever leisure time he had with me to the ever-increasing exclusion of all others. His teachers commented upon it, but apparently never considered his marked shyness as anything very serious; perhaps it was because they were so delighted to have a boy in class who was both very well behaved and a serious scholar. And frankly, I wasn't mature enough to see the potential harm that could come from Mel's singular dependency; I was just glad to have a male companion at my call whenever I wanted him.
"As the months went by, Mel actually encouraged me to increase my sexual experience, to learn more and come up to show him. Since there was never any display of possessiveness, I just thought that Mel felt the same way toward me as I felt toward him-a deep unbreakable bond with total freedom.
"That summer I got my first job, helping old Mr. H-in his store, and learning about how to keep the books and inventory. He ran a fine gift shop in town, was a respected citizen of the community, and my folks thought it would be good for me to see what it was like to work for a living. I guess Mr. H-was in his late forties, or maybe early fifties, and he was something of a celebrity in our town since we all knew that he'd been a child movie star. He was very dapper about his person, and his apartment above the shop was beautifully decorated and filled with superb antiques. He was graying at the temples and had a lean athletic body. There was just something about him that had always fascinated me, sort of turned me on. Perhaps it was a father image, but I don't really think so.
"I'd been working for him for about three weeks when Mr. H-called me at the crack of dawn one day to say that he wasn't feeling well, and could I come in early to open the shop. Toward the end of the day, I went up to his apartment to bring him some hot tea. He was propped up in bed reading Bertrand Russell. He looked so bored, so forlorn as I set the tea tray down on the nightstand next to his bed; I felt very grown-up, very mature and in command. Then I noticed that he was giving me a heavy-lidded appraisal, looking up and down my body as if it were an object he was about to buy. As if he'd pushed a button, I was suddenly very horny, very curious to find out what sex with an older man would be like. And I was getting very wet in the crotch; too wet for comfort.
"'You're very sweet, Iris,' he said, and my knees got weak at the sound of his voice. 'Very sweet, and exquisitely young."
"I began to pour the tea, trying very hard to seem cool and efficient, but he was no insensible dullard. Before I'd even finished pouring the tea, his firm, cool hand was walking up the inside of my thigh. I should have acted shocked by it all, but I was too curious, too hot for that kind of act. And Mr. H-knew it. I don't know how he knew it, but he did; perhaps he could feel my horniness, I don't know. He had his hand up my wet crotch before I could say a damned thing, and that really shot any of my coy feelings. He could feel how wet I was. He must have had buckets of vaginal secretion in his hand, but neither of us said a word. I froze. Just like a kid. I just froze.
"I could almost sense the smile on his thin face as I felt his fingernails tracing light lines back and forth across the material of my panties. It was an exciting moment. I felt plain wicked. Like I knew none of this should be happening; knew that it was crazy for me to just walk into a room and suddenly some guy is playing with my pussy. But I was enjoying it anyway.
"As if it were beyond my control, I realized that I was parting my legs for him, thrusting my pelvis forward in a silent invitation. His hand knew what it was doing, too. By then, he'd inched his way beneath the elastic of my panties and had begun to stroke my labia gently, teasing my pubic hairs around my vagina.
I got so tensed up I thought I was going to come right in his hand!! I could feel my breasts get taut and my hard pink nipples were scratching at the material of my bra. And my clitoris felt twenty times its normal size, just pounding with blood. But Mr. H-just kept stroking my snatch, teasing, but never touching my clitoris as if he knew that would be it, that I'd pop off if he touched it. Whew, I was going out of my mind waiting for his touch on my hot button!
"'Wouldn't you like to have that hot snatch sucked?' he whispered. I almost creamed all over him when he said that. Like it? I'd never even heard of it, never thought that such a thing happened. Get my cunt sucked? What a terrific idea! I didn't know what that would feel like, or what was expected of me, or even what kind of a position one had to assume. But I was more than willing to find out.
"The next thing I knew, Mr. H-was guiding me out of my panties and helping me to climb onto the bed. And once my panties were off, you could smell sex all over the room-my body was reeking with that special, heavy, musky odor and it was even turning me on, so I could imagine what it was doing to him!
"He hoisted my skirt up enough for me to be able to straddle his body, and then with both his hands on my buttocks, he gently brought my hot pussy to his face. I thought I was going to faint. I could feel him breathing on my wet pussy, just breathing, and it was sending me into a world of delicious anticipation. Then I felt his fingers lightly spreading open the surrounding flesh; then his breathing came closer and closer to my burning clit and I could feel my clitoris arching and straining toward him like some kind of miniature dick.
"Then he zeroed in. And when his tongue started lapping up my pussy, I knew right then and there that this was a whole new world of sensation waiting for me and Mel. And what fascinated me was how hot sucking my pubic area was making Mr. H-. He kept groaning into my snatch and making these loud, wet, sucking sounds, slurping and lapping. I must have orgasmed in a matter of seconds! I had to lean against the headboard to stop from falling over, and my pussy just kept coming and coming. I could feel my vagina musles spasming, clutching and rubbing. It was a magnificent orgasm.
"But Mr. H-wouldn't let me up from his face. He'd stopped tonguing me, as if he knew how sensitive my pussy was at that moment, but he kept his face there and it was kind of reassuring to feel it, to know that he really truly enjoyed sucking me.
"When I'd calmed down a bit, he very slowly started running his tongue along my already dripping pussy. His hands came up and began to undo the buttons at the front of my dress, slid my bra and cupped my breasts. It didn't take much to get me all steamed up again, and in no time I was rubbing myself against his face, watching his hands playing with my tits and teasing my aching, hard nipples. When I was really squirming and all hot again, I felt his hands on my hips trying to turn me around. I didn't know why, but I wasn't going to argue.
"Mr. H-had managed to shove the blankets down to his knees, and standing straight up was his marvelous dick. It was bobbing at me, almost beckoning to me, and I was enthralled by it. I had a very good idea of what he expected me to do, and I was happy to comply. I lowered my face toward his rod and, shyly at first, began to kiss the head of it. I can still remember how fascinated I was by how hairy he was, and the pubic hairs kept tickling at my nose whenever I'd tongue along the sides of his penis.
"But all this time, he was lapping at my pussy, sticking his tongue up into my vagina and tongue-licking me. And in the torment of my passion, I lost touch with everything else around me except what I could feel or taste. Gradually, the strangeness of the experience wore off and I found myself actually enjoying myself, enjoying playing with his prick and balls, and I shoved my face right down between his thighs and began to lick his balls, even his ass, thinking all the while how much lei was going to enjoy this kind of attention!
"I heard Mr. H-'s groans of pleasure and felt him really sucking on my pussy so I took my cue from him. I brought my face back from his balls and hovered over his dong, knowing what a wild feeling it had to be for him, the same as he had done to me before. Then I really got down to business. I figured that I could choke to death on the length of his penis unless I totally relaxed my throat muscles. So I closed my eyes and let the hot tool slowly work into my wet, clutching mouth. He jerked when the head touched the back of my throat, but it just kept going in, and in, and in. All of a sudden, I felt as if I wanted to swallow him up, and I involuntarily began sucking in my cheeks, working on the sides of his penis just like my vagina would if he'd fucked me instead of getting sucked off. It was a very strange sensation and a fantastically stimulating one.
"Gradually, he began to pump his hips up toward my face, slowly at first, steady humping motions, shoving his prick in and out of my mouth. And I really enjoyed it, really lost myself sucking on him, playing with his balls with my hands, and all the while, he was kissing and sucking and lapping at my feverish pussy. We spent the btter part of the afternoon sucking each other off, and I was a very sated young lady by the time I got home."
Studies of the family life have revealed many interesting patterns of hate and love among its members. This is true especially between brothers and sisters.
Numerous studies have revealed such brother-sister hatreds in early years. As a rule, the younger child resents the advantages and privileges the older children possess. J. C. Flugel, in The Psycho-Analytic Study of the Family, explains that:
(The younger child) finds itself in many respects compelled to submit to the superior size and strength and experience of the elder children, whom it is therefore inclined to regard as tyrants, the only refuge from whose brutal power lies in appeal to the still higher adult powers who control the destinies of the nursery. Older children, on their part, are inclined to regard any new arrival in the family circle as an intruder upon their own preserves and a competitor for their own cherished rights, privileges and possessions.
We can see that jealousy and hatred can be the first emotional response of brothers and sisters toward each other. However, as is apparent in the case of Iris and her brother, Mel, a brother or sister may from the beginning be an object of affection, the love of the child being directed toward a brother or sister in much the same manner as toward the parents.
Flugel explains this further when he says:
This (love object transference) is much more likely to happen in relation to an elder than in relation to a younger member of the family and occurs most frequently when there is a considerable difference in age between the children concerned, so that interest and desires no longer conflict and overlap to the same extent as they do in the case of children of approximately equal age. The most favorable conditions for the direction of a child's object love in this manner are to be found in those large working class families, where an elder sister frequently takes over some of the attributes of the mother as regards the younger children. In such a case the feelings of the younger child (particularly if that child be a boy) towards its elder sister are usually of an affectionate nature from the very start.
CHAPTER THREE
Iris begins her interview with much self-analysis, as well as a personal viewpoint of the ills of sexual beliefs in today's society. We can see from her choice of words that she has a strong, underlying guilt complex about her incestuous relationship with her younger brother.
She has, however, developed a strong rationalization about incest and freedom of sexual expression; she recognizes the incest taboo, but places above it her "love" for Mel and her desire to help him learn, "about life together."
"To better understand Iris at the age of fifteen, we must look at some of the basic maturity traits which characterize the fifteen-year-old child.
Present are three groups of maturity traits common during this growing period: (1) Increasing self-awareness and perceptiveness. (2) A rising spirit of independence. (3) Loyalty but adjustment to groups of home, school and community.
The fifteen-year-old child demands a large measure of self-education, which is evident in Iris' case. As Gesell and associates report in Youth: The Years from Ten to Sixteen:
His (the fourteen-year-old's) exuberance has given way to a more critcal self-awareness and a growing sense of self-dependence. At the same time he realizes his increasing dependence on other selves. This creates a complex system of competing forces and a triangle of tensions. The educational problem for Fifteen is to resolve the consequent difficulties as well as he can on his own resources-with help!
Iris demonstrates her boredom of the too familiar and her deep desire for new experiences, especially in sexual relationships. She is interested in her own personality, and tends to become a psychologist of sorts on her own. Perhaps she is at an age when she needs more objective knowledge of human behavior and human nature.
However, with the parents away from the home life much of the time, the children have had to depend upon each other for much of this knowledge, for they have no one to whom they may turn; even outside of the family unit, few friends are made by either Iris or her brother.
To Mel, Iris has become the love object, replacing the mother. With no threatening father figure to inhibit Mel's incestuous desires, the road was left open for such a relationship between himself and his sister. However, Mel could not have initiated the incestuous relationship at such an early age as thirteen; the sister was the aggressor.
Once the taboo had been broken, the pattern was set. And with no parental influence, little hindrance was encountered during the remaining years of incestuous experiences.
Mel is very inwardly drawn. This is a typical trait of the thirteen-year-old, and is summed up by Gesell et al this way:
Though Thirteen appears more quiet and withdrawn than earlier, he can be very active in his thoughts, storing up ideas and energy to be expended at a later date. Voracious reading is one way of satisfying this inner urge ... He is usually friendly but he is not spontaneous and communicative. He sits quietly with little movement. His answers are sincere and honest, but he tells no secrets.
Sexually, Iris was more mature than Mel. She treated her sex and later her sexual techniques as if they were "gifts" to her brother. Emotionally, these "gift" experiences were so satisfying for both children that they never managed to escape the snare, or transfer their object loves to others outside the family.
Through her sense of curiosity, Iris experienced sexual relations with the older shopkeeper. She explains it away by saying she would use this experience to help further her brother's knowledge about sex.
Later in her discussion, Iris discloses her first feeling of "disillusionment" with Mel. She recognized a "stud" quality developing in him, and this presented the possibility that he would seek other women with whom he could have sex relations. Jealously would be a better choice of a word for her feelings-her attachment to her love object (Mel) was becoming too strong to withstand competition or threats of breaking it.
At the age of twenty, the subject became engaged to be married; her reasons, as she relates, were because "it seemed the logical next step at that age." To Mel, whose bonds to his sister were stronger than ever, it was tragic. In passing, let us examine that Mary E. Harding, in her work, Psychic Energy: Its Source and Its Transformation, has to say:
If, however, the task presented by life seems too hard, and if the inertia is too great, an alternative possibility will present itself. Baynes aptly calls this the renegade hypothesis. He points out that the renegade is not merely an individual who can no longer struggle; he is actually a deserter, a traitor who by his sabotage, his alliance with the destructive forces that lie buried in the unconscious, actively endangers the whole enterprise of consciousness. The final expression of this attitude is suicide.
Iris was not able to break the incestuous bonds with her brother, and the relationship was continued. But she is never really able to subdue the strong inner struggle and conflict which, obviously, are boiling with increased rapidity.
In the chapter entitled, "The Inner Conflict : The Dragon and the Hero," Harding describes such a conflict:
The individual learns to differentiate between the I and the not-I, with an ever increasing emphasis on the value of the I. That is, he becomes aware of being a self. This awareness is accompanied by an intoxicating sense of selfhood, an inner expansion of the I. Unchecked, this will produce an inflation not unlike the fatal swelling of the frog, that tried to puff itself up to the size of the ox, so aptly depicted by Aesop.
"Naturally, I told Mel about it and described it in thorough detail, but I was in no condition to have sex with him that same evening. But Mel seemed crushed and showed all the signs of a mounting anger the likes of which I'd never witnessed in him before. So I soothed him as best I could, and we finally agreed that I'd take a bath, and a nap, and that afterwards, maybe after dinner, we'd do it. I don't remember now where our folks were; it doesn't matter much.
"Anyway, Mel and I had a nice dinner and I took a bottle of wine and two glasses into the living room just as Mel finished making a nice, roaring fire. We grinned at each other, and I began to pretend that I was seducing him, that he was a stranger in my life. Mel was very susceptible to these little fanciful games, to make-believe. I leaned forward and ran my tongue lightly over his lower lip, into the corners of his mouth, tickling and teasing Mel-he was already getting very hot. Poor baby must have been anticipating this new experience all evening while I rested, and during dinner, too. His face was flushed and his forehead was beaded with perspiration. Mel took an awfully loud swallow of his wine, but he was unable to take his eyes from the front of my dress. The knowledge of what a thrill I had in store for him had turned me on as if I hadn't had sex in weeks!
"I brought my face to Mel's and closed my mouth around his, darting my tongue between his lips, and finally into his mouth. He tasted divine. Maybe it's because we both have the same diet, but Mel always tastes wonderful to me. Anyway, by then we were both too hot to waste much more time. The knowledge of what was in store for him had me quivering with excitement, and the thrill of anticipation had spurred Mel to a wonderful hard on. I moved across the room turning off all the lights, then came back in front of Mel and stood just before the flickering light of the fireplace. Then I began to undress.
"I slipped out of my robe and nightie and stood there, letting the firelight play across my body, enjoying the effect I knew I was having on Mel. I waited until I was sure he couldn't stand much more, then I leaned over and pulled the drawstring to his pajamas. In less than a second, his pulsing penis was free and beating against his belly; and he grabbed me by the waist and pulled me down on him. Slowly, I undid the top of his pajamas and spread the material open so that my breasts could play across his chest. He didn't have much hair then, but what he had was enough. It tickled the burning flesh of my breasts and tortured my aching nipples. Our couch was an extra wide model, so I didn't have any trouble at all straddling his hips. I pushed myself down so that my sopping pussy would pinion his flesh, but not allow it to go inside of me.
"It's a sweet torture to forestall the inevitable, and Mel likes to feel how wet I am, know that I'm really hot. He likes the feeling of knowing he's right there, right next to my dripping, hot hole, but can't quite get inside. And that night was no exception. Mel was waltzing underneath me, whimpering and touching me everywhere. I arched my back and brought my breasts over his face, brushing the nipples across his eyes, pushing at his nostrils.
I wanted him to feel as if he had breasts pushing at him from every angle, in his ears, anywhere at all.
"Finally, he took my breast in his mouth and began to suck on it, bringing up his hand to massage the other one. Mel seemed to have been waiting for that moment all his life, suckling like an infant, and in that heavily shadowed light, he almost looked like one. Had it not been for his rock-hard erection, I might have forgotten that he wasn't really just a baby. While he was sucking at my breast, I raised my hips up slightly and could feel the air hit coldly on the insides of my thighs where I had been juicing all over both of us. I knew Mel well enough to know that his rod had been contributing thickly. The female body has always amazed me-I'd been thoroughly sucked dry all afternoon, yet there I was, ready and anxious to get sucked again.
"So I took Mel's stiff penis in my right hand, propping myself with my left on the back of the couch, and began to squeeze it gently with a slow up and down motion. Then I let my hand wander down to his balls, and it was amazing how much Mel had grown in so few months; even his balls were bigger than when we'd first begun to play around sexually. He was going to be quite a stud by the time he was full-grown, quite a match for any woman.
"It was then that I had my first feeling of resentment, my first reaction of displeasure at the thought of Mel with another woman. I'd raised him, I'd taught him everything including how to be a good bed partner-and the thought of him wasting his time with some unworthy bitch began to gnaw at me, or the vision of his well-educated cock giving pleasure to some underserving twat really upset me. Mel was mine. I'd made him and he was mine-forever.
"But Mel was too hot to give me any time to think about such abstracts right then and there, and I decided that it would be best if I let him screw me the ordinary way first, just to take the edge off, so to speak. Then later, he would have his new treat. So I slipped his rigid rod gently into my vagina, letting the head of it sort of roll against the wet lips first. And I began to suction his rod up into me, letting the walls of my vagina grab him inch by inch. Since I was on top, I had complete control over how much of him entered my vagina and how fast. I wanted his dick to slither into me, waiting, waiting to hit my cervix ... to know, when he got there, that he'd just slammed into a brick wall carrying a burning torch.
"Yet, Mel seemed blissfully unaware of how carefully I was guiding him into my clit, and he wasn't appreciating the finer points of my technique. I had shifted breasts in his mouth and he was happy as a newborn child, sucking at my nipple, with his stiff organ up inside my hot womb, being-sucked up into my hungry pussy. My abdomen was rubbing against his and I could feel how sweaty he was; but it was clean, good sweat, not the locker-room kind. And then I let him hit the mark with his manhood ; I shoved my ass down hard on his stiff penis and knew I had his undivided attention when he bit down on my breast with the contact. I playfully pulled my breast out from his mouth and began to swing both of them across his face, and then I began to screw him, as only a woman can screw a man. I rode up and down his shaft a little faster, then even faster. I knew he'd never hold out very long after looking forward to getting sucked for the first time, so I started to rotate my hips.
"Every time his dick was about to topple out of my grabbing vagina, I'd give him a little extra circle with my hips, then swoop down hard on his slippery penis, shoving it all the way against the wall of my womb and grinding my pelvis against his. I could feel Mel's rod all the way up inside me, and it was especially nice that evening. Perhaps because Mr. Hhad never once entered my pussy earlier that day. But for whatever reason, Mel's penis felt extra good. And I could feel his penis getting bigger and bigger inside of me, and I knew it was going to be over for him in a matter of seconds.
"'What does Mel want me to do?' I prodded him, smothering him momentarily with my breasts. 'Say it, baby, what does Mel want me to do to him?'
"'Love me!' he answered. His voice was rasping and his breath was coming in big gasps.
"'Say it again, I didn't hear you."
"'Love me!' he yelled, really slamming his dong up inside me with all his might.
"'Iris' going to love the baby,' I told him, squeezing Mel's come out with Iris' hot vagina humping with him all tight inside of me. I was actually slipping on his pelvis by then, and hammering at him, saying over and over, 'I'm screwing you, baby, really loving little Mel, squeezing Mel's come out with Iris' hot twat
"Talking dirty always made Mel come faster and that time was no exception. He was squirming into me, wriggling to get in deeper and deeper, and then he tensed, seemed to hover for a second almost in midair, and then let out a groan of release that was inspiring. And I could feel him coming inside of me, wave after wave of burning, hot come shooting into my body, filling me up so that I could barely feel his penis anymore for all the hot come that surrounded it inside my vagina.
"Mel fell back, exhausted. His penis fell limply from inside of me, and I let him get his breath while I lifted myself off of him and padded into the bedroom, toward the bathroom. I ran the hot water and washed myself off, then found a bowl and filled it with warm water and a washcloth. Back in the living room, Mel had stopped panting and I took a long look at his smooth young body, glistening in the firelight, and knew that I had to get his sweet dick into my mouth soon if I wanted to get my clit sucked again. I put the warm, wet washcloth on his groin and began to wash off his rod and balls. Mel has such a darling rod, especially when it's lying limp like that.
"I glanced up at him and he had the silliest smirk on his face I'd ever seen. Unable to resist, I leaned over and kissed that silly grin, then continued to wash him slowly and carefully, playing with his balls and just barely teasing his anus. I knew, of course, that it would take time to arouse him again, and I was quite happy to let him have as long as he needed or wanted. He was getting twitchy about half an hour later, and I rested my face on his tummy, looking at him. I began to play with his scrotum, caressing and, very lightly like you would with a kitten, squeezing his balls. Once in a while, as if it were a mistake, I'd allow my hand, or just a finger, to touch his anus. I could feel him tense uo right away at the contact, but he didn't pull away. With my other hand, I began to trace little patterns on his chest, pausing briefly over his nipples and watching them shrivel up into tight little Debbles, then just glancing across the hairs on his chest, down to his ribs, to his navel, then slowly back up again. Then the time seemed about right.
"Sit up, Mel,' I whispered softly. 'Sit up and put your legs on either side of me. That's a good baby.' He did as I said without saying a word, but his eyes were filled with lascivious curiosity. 'Are you comfortable?'
"He nodded, looking right past his own penis to see my face since I was sitting on my haunches, right in between his legs, right in front of Mel's sweet organ, his balls nestling lightly on the cushion of the couch. His prick was beginning to come to life with the closeness of my face, with my soft breathing on it. Maybe he hadn't totally know exactly what to expect, but at that moment I don't think he cared much.
"I began to blow cool air on his organ from just a few inches away, making a small circle with my lips so that I could aim where my breath would hit him. 'I want to kiss your pink-head, Mel.' Then I swiftly lowered my head and gave his pecker a light kiss along the shaft. Then I kissed it again, but on the other side. This time I could feel his reaction to my lips on his dick; he was holding his breath, waiting, waiting. I brought my face up and rested it on the inside of his thigh, my lips just brushing against his groin, my nose nuzzling in his pubic hairs, breathing on his cock. There was no mistaking his reaction then; he started to swell slowly but steadily. I could have just stayed there and waited for it to swell right up into my mouth of its own accord, but I wanted to find out what it would feel like getting hard inside my mouth.
"I took his sweet penis and looked at it for a moment, enjoying its semingid state, knowing what it would soon be once I got my mouth around it. Without waiting one more second, I had to put it inside. I sighed as I lay the head of his cock on my lower lip, extending my tongue so that I could tease the small little hole into giving me its pearl.
"'Oh, my God!' Mel moaned. 'Oh, damn!'
"'Do you like that?' I asked while letting his penis rest on my lower lip. Then I began to roll my tongue on the underside and curl around the ridge of the knob while I let his balls rest in the palm of my right hand. I was just grazing his anus with the tip of my little finger, but nothing else. Mel seemed terribly tense, so I decided to take his mind off my little finger by taking his penis farther into my mouth, rolling it like a good cigar, savoring it on my tongue and pushing against my cheeks.
"'But this is so different,' Mel groaned, almost as if he'd awakened to find himself in another country. 'It's the same idea, but it ... it feels so ... so different!'
"By then he really had a hard on going for him, and for me. I wasn't even listening to him anymore. I had Mel's fat, juicy dick in my mouth, his balls in my hand, and a tight, virgin asshole. I gave myself up to the enjoyment of sucking on him, of playing with him, of taking the whole throbbing organ into my throat. Letting it slip so I could kiss it all over, I buried my face in Mel's crotch with his penis hot against my cheek like a pounding poker trying to sneak in my ear. Then, I took it back into my mouth and suctioned it, listening to his moans as I did, but not really hearing him at all.
"It was thrilling me beyond belief to know that I was giving Mel such pleasure, his first blow job. And I could feel my clit burning bigger each time I took him farther and farther into my throat. I didn't want to bother Mel with sucking me on his first experience, so I stuck two fingers of my left hand inside my pussy, and used my thumb to stimulate my clit even more than it already was.
"I saw Mel's hands reach for my breasts, so I brought myself up a little so that he could reach them, and he massaged them, kneaded them, and all the while I was kissing, and lapping, and sucking on his divine rod. And I was just biding my time, since I'd decided that it was time to try out Mel's anus, too. Almost in anticipation of what I was going to do to Mel, I moved my fingers out from inside my vagina and stuck my index finger up inside my own asshole. I could have fallen in, the opening was so large, so ready, and I was wriggling with excitement as I screwed my own asshole and then switched to finger-screwing my own vagina. Mel was watching me again, his eyes bigger and bigger as it dawned on him just what the hell I was doing. It really seemed to get to him and his organ about leaped out of my mouth, but I didn't let it go.
"Then Mel seemed to really go out of his head. He let go of my breasts and grabbed my head with his hands, guiding it, pulling it toward him then letting me pull back a little. He was ramming his penis in and out of my mouth like it was the hottest, tightest, best cunt ever created, and I knew then that it was time to let Mel know what his ass was really for. Without breaking rhythm or even moving enough for him to know the difference, I took two fingers and shoved them right up his ass!
"He must have leaped a yard, but he didn't stop me; he didn't pull away, or anything else. I shoved my fingers as far as I could make them go, then turned the tips up and spread them apart inside him, making them big as if he had a penis up his ass. Still sucking on his rod, screwing his ass with one hand, and using my left hand to work my own vagina and asshole, you could hear the noises we were making throughout the house; everything was slurping and slopping, running together, sweating, pumping, humping, sucking and screwing.
"It was marvelous! I didn't want it to end, but I could hear the low yell that was building up in Mel's throat, and I knew that he would be coming right into my waiting mouth any second, right down my throat like some nectar. And then he was doing it--coming and coming so that I hardly had a chance to swallow his come as fast as he was spewing it into my mouth. That tripped my own massive orgasm, too.
"And so it went, all through our teens. I would go out on a date, or meet someone in some way, and discover new sexual delights, then rush home to tell Mel about it, and savor the experience with him. As the years went by, Mel became devoted to the study of anthropology, with an especial sideline interest in ancient sexual practices, rites, and so on. Because of his scholarly mind, no one paid any attention to his lack of friends, disinterest in sports or cars or girls; it was just assumed that the serious student had no time for such frivolities. But, of course, what had happened was that I became the entire outside world to Mel; I was his social life, his 'sport,' and his complete sexual outlet. Unfortunately, I never truly realized what I was doing to Mel; how ensnarled he had become in my sibling web.
"When I was about twenty, I became engaged to be married; not because I was in love with the fellow, but because it seemed the logical next step at that age. He seemed a nice enough guy, had a good job, and he loved me-why not? When I told Mel about it, he said nothing; but that same night I discovered him in the garage trying to suffocate himself in exhaust fumes. I knew then what I'd done-both to him, and to myself.
"Mel was incapable of functioning without me. You'd think that someone as brilliant as he is in a scientific subject would be able to work through the adolescent trauma of incest, but it is as if there's a piece missing from his mind. In Mel's world, there exists only his anthropology and me-nothing else. And he's a brilliant man! Perhaps you've read some of his papers?
"But it was apparent that I could never leave Mel. He was my responsibility and my real love. What to do about it, of course, required even more thought, and in the end, it was Mel who came up with the solution. It was so simple that we both fell into a fit of giggles-all we had to do was get married. Live out our lives as man and wife. Accomplishing that was not too difficult; we went to a justice of the peace, I used our mother's maiden name, and we were married. Naturally, we had to move to a new town, where neither of us was known. We hit upon a story that accounted for our intimate knowledge of each other's pasts; we simply said that we'd grown up together (true), and had been childhood sweethearts (true), and that there could never be anyone else for either of us (also true). We've both learned that when lying is necessary, one should stick as close to the truth as possible-it saves a lot of embarrassing contradictions or straining to remember just what you've told to whom. So Mel and I are now considered the ideal couple, the traditional house-next-door love story.
"Obviously, neither of us could ever obtain work anywhere that might require a security check, or a bond. It's one of the reasons that Mel has never accepted a professorship; they check your background rather thoroughly and we don't think it's wise to risk an investigation of any sort.
"Between Mel's published papers and consultation fees, and my dress shop, we do all right. Of course, we live in constant fear that we'll be discovered. Every time someone idly mentions that we look alike, both of us still blanche. Perhaps we'll never get over that fear. I don't know. What I do know, however, is that neither of us could ever be happy without the other. Mel's vasectomy has relieved some of the guilty pressure upon us; neither of us would want to risk having a genetic monster, not so much for our own sake, but for the child's.
"Being barren is yet another price to pay for our love. Oh, we have our rationalizations, and, for the most part, they are quite convincing. But there are times when I envy other women and their children. I'm sure that Mel would have liked to be a father, too. But there's a price to pay for any kind of happiness; ours is just a little steeper than most. And while I wouldn't change our lives for anything, if I had to begin my life all over again, I wouldn't choose this path again. An outcast's life is not very romantic once the newness has worn off."
The answer for Iris and Mel, obviously, is psychiatric help, which will probably suggest a separation from each other. Unchecked, the situation which they have created through their incestuous affair will give rise to such inner conflicts that the renegade hypothesis will most likely emerge, with the final result being an unhappy ending for both Iris and Mel.
CHAPTER FOUR
"Thinking back, I remember that my aunt Helen was really built. She had beautiful tits, full, not sloppy-looking. Long legs like my mother and lots of blonde hair.
"I didn't know what it was about her-hell, I'm talking about when I was seven or eight years old. But I can remember the feeling.
"She lived with us for about three years-until I was about ten. Her behavior didn't please my father, who was a fairly stern sort of guy. In fact, it was over her behavior that my father finally told her to leave. She'd parade around like that in front of him, and I guess it got to him.
"What it was, I think, was that my father wanted to get it on with Aunt Helen. She was a damned sight more exciting than her sister
-my mother-and my father knew it. I think it finally got to a point where he couldn't handle it and out she went. She went out laughing at him, I remember, because she knew what was bothering him. He wanted a piece of her ass and there was no way she'd give it to him.
"Of course, she was giving it away to every guy she met, and that didn't help my father's condition. It was an open secret that she was totally wanton, and that was the reason he used to make her move out.
"Anyway, Helen split and I didn't see her for six years or so. She was living in Laguna Beach, and she was making her living by representing various artists who lived there. She'd peddle their stuff to the galleries in Los Angeles on a commission basis.
"I'd already gotten interested in art by then-though I had no idea then that I'd go on to college as a fine arts major. Anyway, I was wandering down the antique area in Los Angeles, checking out the galleries and sort of passing the time. There's a lot of galleries on La Cienega, and it's also a pleasant part of town.
"We almost collided. She came out of a shop just as I was entering, and she had a wide-brimmed hat on that obscured her face. I said, 'Excuse me,' and that was when she looked up.
"'Jamie! Is that you?'
"I hadn't been called Jamie in years. I stopped and turned around. It was Helen. We embraced and she invited me to have lunch with her.
"We raked the family over the coals, and I was surprised to realize that she was treating me as an adult. I've always looked old for my age, so it didn't look funny for us to be together. I was also surprised at the way I was relating to her. We were very close, yet we hadn't seen each other in all those years.
"'Of course,' she said, 'your father had his reasons for what he did. But the reason I've never again called or stopped by is my relationship with your mother."
""How so?'
"'Jamie, it just wasn't fair to her to have your father behaving the way he did every time he was around me. Surely, you're old enough to understand that!' "
"I nodded. I was enjoying myself thoroughly and so was she. When lunch was over, she invited me to stop in to see her when I was in the Laguna Beach area. I said that I would, and I also said to myself that I was for sure going to be down there soon. It might've been a crush, because boys of that age are notorious for that, but I really got it on with Helen, and though I was much younger, and a blood relative, I felt she wanted me, too.
"The next weekend found me in Laguna Beach. It's only an hour or so from the part of Los Angeles I hung out in, and an hour's travel is nothing in southern California. I arrived in Laguna around ten Saturday morning. Helen had given me the address. It turned out that the bus station was about a half mile from her place. I decided to walk.
"She lived in a cute little cottage on a hill overlooking the ocean. Very expensive, really, for such simple places, but that's the story of beach living in California. I rang the bell.
"She was glad to see me. It wasn't a put on, even though she had just gotten up. She wore a bathrobe, but she invited me in and told me to put on the coffee while she showered. I got that going and then poked around the living room while she sang in the shower.
"Later, after coffee and sweet rolls, she asked what I wanted to do. For a moment I was stuck for an answer. She jumped right in. 'I mean, do you want to go swimming, or see the town?'
"'Anything you want to do is fine with me,' I said. Then I added, 'I came down here to see you, not the town."
"It was a little forthright of me, but she liked it. 'Thank you,' she purred, her eyes getting that look I could remember as a little boy. 'You certainly know the right things to say to a girl. Not like someone else in your family!' Then we both laughed.
"Helen stood up and stretched. 'I don't know about you,' she said, 'but I like to start the day with a swim. Join me?'
"I hadn't brought a bathing suit, but Helen told me she had a spare set of men's trunks in the closet. 'This old college friend of mine dropped in once,' she explained, 'and he left them.' They were a perfect fit, and within five minutes we were across-the highway, spreading a blanket on the already-warm sand.
"She was wearing a bikini, which was very daring back then. And she was built like a goddess. Hell, she was only about thirty-two or three, and she was tall, long-legged, full-breasted and beautiful. No sooner had we arrived on the beach-which was deserted-when guys started to arrive, some just walking by, others setting up their blankets and towels nearby.
"Not that they thought they'd get any of her action-it was just that she was such a treat to look at. Most guys were content to do just that.
"We swam pretty far out, circled around awhile and then came in. We followed our swim by about a half hour roasting under the warm sun, and then we crossed back over the highway and walked up the flagstone lined path to her cottage. 'I need another shower,' she said, feeling the encrusted salt in her hair. Then she glanced at me. 'Join me?'
"Now, hell, a kid that age ... I didn't know what to say. I sure as hell wanted to shower with her, and do a hell of a lot of other things with her, too. She saw that I was stuck for words, so she giggled, took my hand and led me into the bathroom.
"She peeled out of that bikini as I watched, my organ so hard it was poking out of my trunks. She reached over and stroked the head, sort of cupping my pink skin in her palm. 'You're very big,' she said softly. I stepped back and took off the swimming trunks. My organ sort of bounced up against my belly as the drawers came off.
"She turned her back and reached into the shower stall. She adjusted the flow of water and then stepped in. She beckoned me with a smile.
"I stepped in. She was already soaping herself and the stall was filled with the odors of steam, wafting the salt smells of us and the heady aroma of her soap. I was still hard as a rock.
"She turned to me and started soaping my chest, but I knew that she was working her way down. She didn't waste any time. Within seconds my rod and balls were covered in a soapy foam as she washed me down and then spun me around and soaped my crack. It was unbelievable, almost as if I was dreaming.
"Then she stepped back and let the water hit me. As the soap rinsed away, she sank to her knees. Her head was on a level with my rod and she leaned forward and sucked the large, dark-colored head into her mouth, moaning her pleasure.
"Amazing the way I can talk about it like that. I mean ... to say, 'She sucked my penis."
Amazing. I just can't find words to express what that felt like at all.
"A sixteen-year-old kid who'd never even been laid-and that luscious lady goes down on her knees and sucks his cock! It was unlike anything I've ever experienced since. It was mind-expanding, even though there were certainly no drugs involved, not even alcohol. The feeling I got when I looked down and saw my organ start to enter her lovely mouth-and the feel of those soft, wet, warm lips as they closed around the rim of my shaft-was totally unreal.
"And I stood there. I didn't hump, or grab her hair, or do anything. I was thunderstruck and she knew it. I was also so hot that she no sooner sucked once or twice than I emptied about a pint of come down her throat, all the time thinking she was going to be offended by it!
"Needless to say, she loved every drop of it. When she stood up, she smiled at me and said, 'That was good-but there will be more."
"We finished showering and then she made me a drink and we sat down. Her living room was furnished with light, comfortable furniture. She put on some records and sat by me on the sofa. She asked when I had to leave.
"I hadn't even thought about it. I told her that I could stay till around seven, which would've gotten me home at about nine, and that seemed about right. After all, my parents assumed that I was just bumming around L.A. that day and I didn't want to get them upset enough to put me under some dumb curfew or something. Hell, I could come back every weekend as long as I didn't blow it at home.
"She said that gave her a good idea. She phoned a friend and they talked about an upcoming picnic, and then she invited her over. 'You'll love Kim,' she said to me after she hung up. 'She's young and a lot of fun."
"I had a couple more drinks and naturally enough got pretty high. I was really swinging along, grooving with the music. Helen had gone off to get dressed and left me in the living room. I don't know how much time passed, but I was brought out of my funky humor by a knocking on the door.
"She was beautiful.
"'Hi,' she said, her deep green eyes seeming to look through me. 'Helen in?'
"'Sure,' I said, stepping back. She came in and sat down. 'Helen!' she called. 'I'm here!'
"From the back bedroom came Helen's response. 'Kim, that's Eddy, my nephew. Eddy, Kim. Have a drink!' I mixed her a bloody mary, which I had learned to make that morning.
"'Your aunt's really great,' Kim said as I handed her the glass.
"'I know what you mean,' I answered, grinning.
"Helen came out and she looked lovely. Only thing was, she only had on a pullover robe that couldn't have taken more than ten seconds to get into. I guess she wanted Kim and me to be alone when we met.
"She joined right in and the three of us were talking a mile a minute, but I could tell that there was a definite undercurrent of excitement in the room, and it wasn't all being generated by me.
"Kim's face had taken on a darker, flushed look, and her eyes would almost sparkle whenever she caught Helen's gaze. I didn't know what was going on, but it was damned interesting.
"Finally, Helen sat back and said, 'Kim, I think you and Eddy would enjoy yourselves more if you took off some of that clothing-it's so damned hot in here!'
"I was ready for anything after the shower, so I stood up and pulled off my shirt. Kim was more aware than I was-she was nude by the time I draped my shirt over a dining room chair and returned to the living room.
"Helen giggled at me. 'Come on, Eddy, show the girl that you take after your aunt! Don't be a stick in the mud!'
"I grinned foolishly and stripped. My rod was small and soft looking and I wanted to get a hard on to have something to show the girls.
"'He looks much better when he's up,' Helen said.
"Kim smiled. 'Then let's get him up,' she said.
"When she said that I sort of stood back and waited for one of them to crawl over and start sucking me off. I stood there in vain.
"Kim turned to Helen and helped her out of her robe, then led her to an easy chair and had her sit in it. Helen hooked a leg over each arm of the chair and Kim kneeled between her thighs.
"I'd never seen anything like that, of course.
"And then she was eating Helen's pussy, slowly slurping all the juices down and allowing her tongue to funnel and probe and tease. Helen was writhing, her face all red, but with a smile of total satisfaction on it. She humped into Kim's face, held her by the ears, guided Kim's mouth up and down and around, pressing her by the back of the head when she wanted Kim to spend some time on a good spot. This got me hard as a rock. I walked over so that I could see better.
"Kim was absolutely digging the hell out of sucking cunt. She lapped and tongued with a smile on her face, and every now and then she'd glance up at Helen like a dog hoping it's pleasing its master. Damn, but I wanted someone to look at me that way sometime.
"My hand was working on my organ, stroking it harder and harder. I didn't even notice because it was so caught up watching those two go at it. It wasn't until Helen reached over and knocked my hand away that I knew I'd been beating off.
"I realized what I was supposed to do. I stood by the side of the chair and angled my cock into Helen's waiting mouth. She snuffled down on it like a pig after corn and I began slowly feeding her my manhood inch by inch, all the time watching Kim lap that pussy juice.
"I held my aunt by the hair and the way she did Kim and began to get into the rhythm of the whole thing. Kim and I were sort of on an alternating current. I'd hump Helen's mouth and then Kim would lap her pussy. She was bucking from the neck up on one beat and from the waist down on the other. It didn't take her long to come.
"Kim lapped harder then, allowing Helen to slide down a bit on the chair so that her buttocks hung free. Then, quickly, Kim lowered herself so that she was between Helen's legs again, but this time underneath Helen's ass. Kim's back was to the chair-she was not facing the same direction as Helen. By tilting her head up she was able to tongue Helen's juicy clit and also slide her hot tongue around Helen's pale, white ass.
"I wished I was down there. I wanted badly to do to someone what was being done to me. I'd never sucked a pussy before but I knew I was going to love it, and I knew I was going to do it before the day was out.
"Helen continued bucking until she finally wiggled free of Kim's greedy tongue. Then she sort of spit out my cock and said, 'let's swap around!'
"Having already come once that day I was able to take care and not shoot off so fast this time. In fact, all the sucking that she'd done hadn't really brought me that close to coming. I was rarin' to go, but I wanted more to do this time.
"Before Kim could stand up, I ducked down to the floor and told her to sit there. Then I stretched out on the floor in front of her on my belly and looked between her legs. She had a beautiful vagina, all red and pouty-looking, with the barest hint of hair. I don't know if she shaved or not, but the hair was soft, sparse and blonde. It was lovely.
"'Don't just look at it,' Helen said, standing above me. 'Get in there and eat it!'
"I crept forward and Kim spread her legs. I put my mouth right on her hole and allowed her hair to tickle my nose, then I started to eat the first pussy I'd ever tasted.
"Unreal ... I lapped with my eyes shut, letting her swivel around, getting all the right angles. I didn't know what I was doing, but I was doing something right because she was soon moaning and groaning and I could feel the convulsive movements of her pussy as it burst come after come.
"Then Helen was sitting on top of me, her pussy warm and wet on the small of my back. She leaned forward and kissed Kim on the mouth as I continued to empty her clit. Finally she got up and I rolled over, and while I was trying to catch my breath they both descended on me.
"I felt both of them settle around me and I opened my eyes to see what was going on. Helen was below me, between my legs. Kim was on one side of me.
"Helen put her hands under my can and shoved upwards. I reared my ass off the floor and she settled in down there, her mouth pressed tightly to my asshole. When she started working her tongue around, I thought I was going to pass out from the pleasure.
"Then Kim leaned over and grabbed my dick and began sucking like mad. She had a more intense manner than Helen. With Kim it was suck, suck, suck, taking as much dick as she could every stroke. She didn't vary her sucking, just kept up a strong steady stimulation. Helen had stopped with my asshole because I was unable to maintain the awkward position. The next think I knew she was squatting down on my face, a knee on either side of my head. 'Like what you see, Eddy?' she asked.
"Looking up, all I could see was her cunt and her ass coming down on me and of course I dug it. Helen was facing my feet so that she could take in all the action Kim was giving me. 'Slow down,' she told Kim. 'Tongue him a little. Lick his rod. Don't just suck all the time!'
"I didn't know which way was up by then. Remember, this was my first real sex experience and it had turned into a complete orgy of sucking. Nobody had yet suggested I fuck anyone and though I planned to, I figured it could wait.
"We were all settled now. Helen was squatting on my face while Kim sucked my organ, following Helen's instructions. I held Helen by the hips and she lowered herself that final short distance, bringing her pussy into contact with my mouth.
"I tongued her slowly at first, sort of feeling her out. This was still new to me. Her pussy was alive, pulsating almost, and as my tongue entered her slit I could feel her hairy lips close around it. When I tongued her hole, I could feel the orifice tighten around my tongue with a smooth-milking muscular convulsion. Slowly, I fed my whole tongue into her vagina. Her juices cascaded down my tongue into my waiting mouth, and all I could do was to keep swallowing so as to not interrupt my sucking.
"Kim was now sucking my balls, taking a whole testicle into her mouth and gently licking it. It felt wonderful as my balls slowly twisted under her incessant pressure, turning this way and that, but never leaving her mouth. She continued to stroke my dick with her hand.
"Helen was swabbing her vagina back and forth across my mouth now, and as her pleasure built, she became more forceful and sexy in her movements. Pretty soon it was. all I could do to keep my mouth on her cunt-she was wiping her bottom all over my face, getting off on my nose, my eyebrows and whatever else was handy.
"Then Kim finished the act. She had returned to sucking my rod, but now she stretched out lengthwise alongside me, her head at my dick and her feet up past my head. Helen, by leaning over, was able to stick her face between Kim's legs and suck her.
"That really turned Kim inside out. She had my rod pulsing in her mouth and Helen's hot tongue working in her snatch. It damned near drove her crazy.
"Helen was by that time in the same boat. I was sucking her vagina and ass, while she sucked Kim's pie, and I of course really dug it all, being in the middle of two beautiful women, all of us going to town on each other.
"It couldn't last long, not with all that sexual tension. I was amazed that I hadn't come already. The chicks had come God knows how many times, and the room smelled like a fish glue factory on a hot August day.
"We all seemed to be covered with juices and hair and the feel and smells of sex, almost like mindless animals seeking pleasure with no other thoughts in our minds.
"Finally I could feel it coming on. I told Kim that I was about to come and I felt her lighten up on her sucking.
"'Hold it,' Helen said. 'Put his dick back in your mouth, honey. You might as well learn now to swallow come. It's an acquired taste!'
"With that, Kim's mouth settled back over the head of my throbbing dick just as I pumped shot after shot of hot come down her throat. That touched off the final, gigantic mutual come for the three of us."
The case of Eddy A. is a classic example of an individual's gradual addiction to hedonism in general and oral-genital sex in particular. And his regression to the philosophy of "sex uber alle" is not surprising when one considers the obviously lax surroundings he was raised in. His statements, "my father wanted to get it on with Aunt Helen," and "she was giving it away to every guy she met," confirms this. On the basis of such a familial set of attitudes, it is then not surprising that Eddy was introduced to sex by his aunt Helen.
What role does the aunt generally play, or is expected to play, in the nephew's life? Sigmund Freud answers the preceding question, in his General Psychological Theories, in the following manner:
The maternal aunt is effect in a group-sister of the mother-and thus, all mothers-and for this reason evokes a high avoidance command in the form of taboo. Today's social structure often demands of very young children that all adults be addressed as either "uncle" or "aunt" which confirms the need to find socially constant authority figures, evident not only in individuals, but in groups, and even in group-images. This is presumably to assist in structuring the child's symbolic awareness of the world about him to a highly functional level. In other words, an aunt is supposed to be a surrogate mother.
In Eddy's case, she was anything but. Her moral looseness-and incestuous relationship can hardly be considered as anything other than that, at least in our Western culture-was an irresistable model to a youngster just emerging from his latency period. In no way can the youth be held responsible for what happened to him in his aunt's presence. He was an obvious victim of circumstances, circumstances that were obviously the rule rather than the exception throughout his childhood.
It is difficult to say why the woman Helen, the boy's aunt, decided to fellate her nephew. Her involvement with Kim will probably account for her oral preferences. Whatever her reasons, Eddy's introduction to sex through oral-genital contact was a traumatic though pleasant experience which, as we shall see, he could not get enough of. Particularly when, after having been fellated by Helen in the shower, he immediately became an active partner in a menage a trois with his aunt Helen and her "friend" Kim. As he puts it himself, "Once you've tasted, it's hard to stop." It becomes a trap into which the victim continues to sink, slowly but inevitably-unless, of course, he brings the rest of the world into perspective.
But with the sexual drive being as powerful as it is, absence of control, or reluctance to exercise it, brings about a condition in which the individual becomes the said drive's virtual slave.
With Eddy, sexual activity, almost indiscriminate, became the mode of life, with oral-genital activity-both cunnilingus and fellatio-becoming the pivotal point of all sex.
CHAPTER FIVE
"I remember my mother telling me once that she had a big thing for green foods when she was carrying me around inside that beautiful body of hers. Wow! That body ... oh well, more of that later. Anyway, she said she was into all sorts of pickles, lettuce, olives, anything green. She says that's why I've got green eyes. Something was bound to turn green. My face was lean, and my body lithe. One of the chicks I used to date said I looked a lot like Clint Eastwood, and was hung like one of his horses.
"I measured it once, my penis that is, with one of my mom's tape measures. That's how this whole story got started. I took the tape measure out of her sewing kit one afternoon when she was stitching up a pair of my funky denims ... That's another thing. She has a real hang-up for sewing. Man, she could stitch a seam down the center of your rear and have it pulled tight before you could fart. She's really something.
"Anyway, back to this rod of mine. I took out the tape and ran it from base to tip. It measured out to six inches even, but remember, it was soft. I decided that I'd give it a check after I'd gotten it hard, just to see how much difference there was. I mean, I knew I was big, but I wanted to know how big, exactly.
"Well, I'm no goddam robot that can push a button somewhere and, bang! instant hard on. I had to get something good and dirty on my mind, you know, like a stag-flick, only it had to have me in it.
"Now I'd been getting this rod hard pretty damn often. If I wasn't screwing one of the local broads at school, then I was beating off. The latter became an almost daily routine. In fact, I was shaking my meat an average of two or three times a day. I'd get home from school, take a shower, then dig my way under the covers of my bed.
"The first flashes on the subject of sex didn't take long in coming. But that's all they were, flashes, no organization, just a tit here, an ass there, and a few pussies floating around for good measure. I had to develop a story in my mind, utilizing all these articles. Each one different from the next. I couldn't get off if I used the same plot or subject more than once in my daydreams.
"As I remember now, I once imagined myself to be a patient in some doctor's office. I was there for a physical, but the doctor was out. There was a combination nurse-receptionist there. She was a pert little blonde, built like a brick shithouse, with every brick in place. She was wearing a pink (I daydream in color) uniform. It was very lowcut, and very short. When she stood up I caught a shot of two gorgeous legs, all wrapped up in white, mesh stockings.
"While I pictured this chick, I started stroking my dick. It was already getting hard anyway, so I didn't have to help it much. The nurse was leading me back into the office now. She was telling me that I could go ahead and undress, and then sit up on one of the tables in the room and wait for the doctor to come.
"I stripped, and crawled up onto the table. I'm sitting there, legs dangling, when in comes this other chick. Blonde, hair hanging over the white physician's smock she was wearing-she had a feminine but professional appearance. She looked down at my dick and gave me a silent wow!
"My rod was throbbing now. I gave it a few more slow strokes. My hips had started a slow grind, automatically, like they had a mind of their own. It was really getting difficult to keep my thoughts smooth and even. I was having more sex-flashes again. I started concentrating a little harder.
"The doctor was down between my knees, her little pink tongue tracing lines up the inside of my left thigh. When she reached my balls, she licked at them a few times, then, slowly, she sucked them into her mouth. I watched, as they were drawn between those glossy-red lips.
"I was speeding up the action on my organ. I could feel my toes curling up, and my asshole tightening. I felt a rush pass through me, starting down around my balls, tearing up my spine, then zipping back down to my toes, petrifying my legs on the way down.
"My fingers were getting a bit sticky from the few preliminary drops that had formed at my pink-head. I always thought of those first drops as Indian scouts checking the way for the massive cavalry that followed close behind.
"My body was really getting hot, so I kicked the blankets away from me. This gave me more room, and helped me to cool off, if only for a minute.
"That's when it happened ... right in the middle of a last stroke on my stiff hard on.
"'Sean!' My mother gasped. 'Sean! What in God's name are you doing?'
"Shit! I didn't know what the hell to say! There I was, rod in hand, come glistening on my fingers, jacking off like a madman ... what the hell could I say?
"She just stood there for a few moments, a few moments that seemed like eternity to. me, then crossed the room and stood over me, her eyes glued to my crotch.
"Then I saw a change come over her. Her breathing coming in short pants, became slower and heavier; her eyes looked as if they were glazed over, staring, unblinking, still focused on my thick organ. I thought I saw her hands tremble a bit, too, as she lowered herself to the bed beside me.
"It had been a year since Dad had died. He was killed in Vietnam, as part of an advisory staff. He was blown apart when a grenade was tossed through the window of a staff car he was driving ... Mom hadn't been the same since. She'd put the idea of sex up on the shelf, and forgotten about it. Oh, she was still attractive. At forty she was what you could call ripe. Her hair was coal black, curly and soft. We were an Italian family, and she carried all of the traits, olive-brown skin, black eyes, well-rounded curves.
"Anyway, judging by the sounds coming from my parents' room at night, while I was growing up, she must have been a real ball-busting screw. I remember, she used to kid around with Dad in the afternoons, on the weekends. He'd be sitting in his favorite chair, watching the ball game, when she'd come in and sit in his lap. She's run her hand across his pants, just over his organ, and start nibbling on his ear.
"'Flo!' he'd say. 'Stop it, honey! ... Flo!
... Dammit ... Flo!'
"Well, she'd keep it up, until the old man finally gave up. He'd get up, carry her into the bedroom, and kick the door shut. Then he'd screw hell out of her. He must have long-dicked her till she was dizzy, because I'd hear her moaning and screaming all the way out in the living room, even with the volume on the TV turned up!
"And then, there she was, sitting within inches of a dick that was so hot I could have bored holes in girders for rivets. And me, with my head up my ass, stuck for words.
"I wanted to run, to cover myself, to grab her head by the ears and jam my manhood all the way down that slender throat, anything! Anything but that mind-eating silence.
"'How long have you been doing this?' she finally spoke.
"'Long time,' I managed.
"'Can't you find any girls to satisfy your ... uh ... needs?' she queried.
"'Yeah,' I said. 'But they don't know how to really satisfy me."
"'Oh?' she said, her voice rising. I thought I sensed a touch of sarcasm. That pissed me off.
"'Yeah!' I almost yelled. 'There isn't one two-bit whore in that whole school that can handle the equipment I've got to offer!' I surprised even myself with my boastfulness. Then, a split second later, it finally struck me that I was lying there with my rigid dick standing straight up, and was screaming about dicks and pussy at my own mother! My mother! I mean, you just don't display your rod, come dripping, inches from your mother's face and holler your sex hang-ups at her-but there I was.
"Whether or not her first touch was out of pity, lust, memory or what, I'll probably never know. What I do know, though, is that she slowly raised her hand from the bed and wrapped her fingers around my rod.
"Man! I thought I'd shoot off right then and there. Her hand was like warm silk. She gave my dong a gentle squeeze, then began to stroke it, carefully, as if it were priceless alabaster. Her thumb ran up the underside, stopping very briefly at the base of my manhood. She titillated me lightly there, then traveled upward, letting her thumb spread the tiny come-droplets over the crimson head of my dong.
"'Your father was much the same,' she murmured, then adjusted her position on the bed. She turned her back toward me, her right arm fell over my waist, and suddenly her head disappeared. I felt a flood of heat on my prick as she took it in her mouth!
"All of the thoughts I had had suddenly vanished as the first waves of pleasure ran through me. I felt my dick disappear inch by inch, slowly, deliberately, between those luscious lips.
"I was moaning almost uncontrollably. She ad taken it all! Every mother-screwing inch of it! I could feel her lips at its very base! I looked, but couldn't see her lips, buried as they were in my pubic hair.
"She drew her head back, just to the base of my dong's head. In doing this, she had left a pink coating of lipstick as proof of how much of my penis she had swallowed. My dick was glistening from her saliva.
"I was sure I was going to blow my load any second. 'I'm going to come!' I screamed.
"But if my outcry was supposed to stop her, it had failed miserably. Because rather than slow down, or stop, her pace quickened. Her one hand reached to cup my balls; her other hand went under my left leg, and her fingers came to rest at the rim of my ass.
"Man, that was it! I felt the swelling in my balls, the surging in my loins. I was going to come.
"'Screw me...! Eat me! Suck it, suck it, suck it! Eat my love seed!' I pleaded.
"Her head dove downward and I felt a terrific suction surround my swollen rod. She was swallowing greedily as my first spurts of hot, thick come filled her mouth. But even as fast as she was swallowing, she couldn't contain it all. Come seeped from the corners of her mouth, trailed down her chin, and dripped into the cleavage of her tits.
"She released my rod, wiped the excess come from around her mouth with it, then sucked it back in, making sure she had drained every possible drop. Boy, I was sure as hell drained now.
"When she finished, she sat up, turned around, and smiled. 'Just like your father,' she said. Then she kissed me.
"I felt her burning tongue force its way into my mouth. I could taste the come she had so vigorously sought with her lips moments ago, and it got me excited all over again. I felt my penis beginning to rise, its head bobbing and weaving its way upward.
"She noticed it, too, when it brushed against her hips. Without saying a word, she stood up and began to disrobe. She was like a professional stripper. She teased me with her slowness as she unveiled her beautiful flesh for me. Her skin was almost flawless, creamy white with pinkish overtones. Her shoulders were lightly freckled, but I forgot about those by the time my eyes rested on her beautiful, firm boobs. They were like ripe melons, jutting out at me. The tips were an oxblood color, and they stood rigid from excitement, like two tiny soldiers at attention.
"My gaze wandered to her waist, which was slightly reddened from the slip she had just pulled over her head. She was standing before me clad in her panties only.
"I was mad with desire by this point, and I thought my dick would split from the pressure of the blood building within. The blue and red veins that covered it seemed to throb and pulsate independently, sending a mixture of sensations through my loins.
"I watched, almost breathlessly, as her thumbs crept beneath the thin waistband of her panties. The panties were translucent pink, with a hint of lace around the leg openings, and I could see the dark thatch of pubic hair forming a V at the crotch of those pink, beautiful ... aw, shit! I get excited just thinking about it now!
"Anyway, she finally stepped out of them and walked toward me. 'Momma's going to show her son how to eat pussy,' she said.
"She pushed me back so that I lay flat on my back, then, straddling my shoulders with her knees, she lowered that sweet, dripping clit closer and closer to my mouth.
"I reached up behind her, digging my fingers into her smooth ass-cheeks, and pulled her pussy to my waiting lips. The musky woman-scent from her love-box filled my nostrils as I drove my tongue into her wetness. I felt her shudder above me and heard a faint moan escape her lips. When I located her swollen clit with my tongue, I felt another shudder run through her.
"Her clit juices began to dribble down my chin as I pressed my mouth tighter against her pussy-lips. I took her clit between the tip of my tongue and upper front teeth, and flicked it lightly. This must have been what she had been waiting for. Suddenly she began to grind her hips into my face. Shit! She was so excited she must have forgotten everything else but the pleasure she was experiencing, because I was literally smothered in her heated cunt! She had brought her thighs up to the sides of my head and was pressing them together so tightly that I could no longer see, hear, or breathe! My mother's pussy was smothering me!
"I pinched her ass as hard as I could. This shocked her back to reality, and she raised herself back to her knees.
"Then, something really weird happened. Mom closed her eyes and rubbed her hands over the part of her bottom where I had just pinched her. At first I thought it was just because I had hurt her and she was just nursing her 'wound,' but the sounds her lips were forming weren't sounds of discomfort, or sadness; they were groans of pleasure! Apparently, the pinch on her ass had given her an added thrill!
"I decided to put my guess to a test.
"'Kiss my dick, bitch!' I ordered, in as rough a voice as I could muster.
"She opened her eyes wide in surprise.
"Screw! I thought, what if I guessed wrong? I'd be blowing a chance that would probably never come by again.
"But I hadn't missed my guess.
"She closed her eyes again and, like a contented kitten, lowered her head and set her mouth to the task.
"I waited until my dick was dripping wet with her saliva; then, just as she was drawing her head back for yet another stroke, I slapped her across the face. It caught her by surprise, and sent her reeling from my lap to land sprawled across the floor.
"'But why...? ' she started to say.
"I cut her off with another sharp blow to her face. 'You stinking, dick-sucking bitch!' I hollered at her at the top of my voice.
"'Oh yes, my darling!' she whined. 'What a man you are!'
"'Do you want this rod?' I asked her.
"'Oh yes, please!' she whimpered.
"'Then beg me for it,' I said. 'Beg me for it! Tell me where you want it."
"'I want your rod in my pussy,' she cried. 'I want it in my mouth, in-between my tits!'
"She was shaking now, uncontrollably.
"'How about your ass?' I queried.
"'Oh no!' she cried, and began to back up. 'I've never had my ass screwed!'
"It was then that the first feelings of power swept over me. I was going to screw her in that round pink ass of hers, and I was going to make her beg me to do it!
"I walked to the closet and took a heavy leather belt from a pair of pants that were hanging up. I rolled it twice around my hand and walked back to where she was cowering on the floor.
"'Turn over!' I demanded.
"'Oh, honey, no!' she whined. 'Please ... anything else ... let me suck the come from your beautiful rod ... let me feel it between my tits ... let me ... '
"Again I cut her short, only this time with a resounding crack, as the leather belt bit into her right tit.
"She screamed and tried to cover herself, but I was too caught up in what I was doing to let that slow me down. Smack! Again the strap found its mark; again she screamed.
"'Do you want it in the ass now?' I shouted.
"She hesitated, but as I raised my arm for a third time, she blurted out her answer. 'Yes ... yes ... yes! I want your penis in me! I want you to bury it in my ass! I want to feel your come fill my ass! I want it ... I want it now!' She rolled over and propped herself up on her elbows and knees, exposing the tiny brown eye of her asshole to full view. 'Give it to me, baby!' she begged, excitedly. 'Give me that sweet bone of yours. I'm ready for you!'
"My penis was still wet from her last sucking, and still very hard. I dropped to my knees, and with my right hand aimed the head of my manhood at her rear. I reached around her and, grasping her hips, began to prod at the virgin opening.
"I succeeded in burying just the head of my dick when she tried to pull away from me. I looked around her shoulder and saw that her face was twisted in pain. I felt waves of excitement rushing through me with each of her sobs.
"That's when I lost control. With one great thrust, I rammed my shaft in to the hilt, crushing the soft globes of her ass against my taut abdomen. A bloodcurdling scream rang out from her lips. It was all I could do to keep her there. She was like a wounded animal, thrashing about as though trapped in death throes. But I wasn't about to let her go now.
"I withdrew, stopping just at the base of my shaft's head, and again drove it in up to my balls. Then I decided to freeze my action for a moment, allowing her to relax against me, to accustom herself to my swollen member, which was throbbing madly within her.
"'How does it feel, Mother?' I asked.
"'Jeezus God,' she moaned, 'I can feel it at my very core. It feels as though I've been plugged and torn throughout!'
"I gave her another thrust, and this time it was answered with a thrust of her own. It was then that I realized that she had overcome the initial pain and was beginning to feel the faint stirrings of excitement. I quickened my pace, driving each stroke as though it would be my last.
"At first we seemed to battle each other in our actions, like two jockeys racing for the inside rail. But as the seconds passed, a smoother rhythm began to develop. It was beautiful. I could feel her anal muscles caressing the entire length of my rod.
"'I'm going to shit!' she cried.
"'No you're not!' I answered, my voice choked with desire.
"'But I can feel it coming!' she replied.
"'All you can feel is my dick!' I roared. 'That's all you feel ... nine inches of meat ... nine inches that's gonna fill you so full of come your eyes will float!'
"Then I felt it building slowly up from my balls. A pressure, like that of a water hose that had just been turned on. I knew I was going to come any second now. I leaned forward, grabbing her tits roughly with both hands, and at the same time shoving my shaft as deeply into her as I possibly could. She must have sensed the urgency of my movements because she aided me with a sudden return shove on her part.
"Like bullets, the first steaming jets of seed burst from the mouth of my cannon. It felt as though a million invisible needles were piercing my entire body, but it was nothing as compared to the brilliant flashes of color exploding in my head with each jolt. And I was not alone in my ecstasy. Mom was riding high herself. I had burst the dam within her, releasing wave after wave of pleasure.
"'Suck me!' she was screaming. 'Screw me ... lick me ... screw my ass, you overhung stud! Give me your load! I want to feel every last drop of it."
"I couldn't say anything as my life's fluid was drained from me. Her ass was like a hundred sucking mouths on my penis, greedily milking me dry. I thought I would pass out after the last convulsion swept over me.
"Her body collapsed beneath me. I was too exhausted to even roll off her back. We just lay there, two sweating entities, for a moment united in lust, and now separate in fulfillment."
In his essay, "Sex Offenses" appearing in Thorsten Sellin's anthology Sex and the Contemporary American Scene, Donal E. J. Mac-Namara, Assistant Professor in charge of the corrections sequence, John Jay College of Criminal Justice, City University of New York, writes:
The criminal fetishist whose compulsion involves either personal assault (as removal of hair or clothing directly from the victim) or associated criminality (frequently burglary, often entailing assault, arson, malicious damage, and, sometimes ... homicide) is a more dangerous offender (than the voyeur, frotteur, and exhibitionist). Often there is a strong sado-masochistic element. Generally there are castration fears, excessive masturbation, a dominant fantasy life, and desire for incestuous gratification ... The fetishist is frequently aggressive, assaultive, obsessively guilt-ridden, concentrating on a substitute sex object as but one manifestation of a highly pathological mental state.
The description is that of a psychotic, i.e., of an individual who has a severe mental disorder characterized by disorganization of the thought processes, disturbances in emotionality, disorientation as to time, space, and person, and, in some cases, hallucinations and delusions. Of an individual, in other words, like the subject of the present case history.
Before attempting to fit the pieces of his narrative and his personality together into some recognizable shape, it should be stated that the subject is, indeed, as the conclusion of his narrative indicates, a psychiatric patient, or inmate, of an asylum in Manitoba, Canada. He was committed for an indefinite period of time following his apprehension for "lewd behavior (masturbation) in public." Immediately, the psychotic nature of his disturbances was evident. He was unable to give any verifiable information as to his family, his place of residence, his age, and even his name. At first, his was interpreted simply as a manifestation of his defense mechanism: concealing his identity because of what can very well be considered as the "embarrassing" nature of his offense. Eventually, however, it was learned that the subject had no immediate relatives or friends, other than an aunt residing in the province of Ontario.
It was from her that some information was obtained on John R-'s childhood and adolescence. He was the product of a broken suburban home. His father-the aunt's brother-had died from an overdosage of barbiturates when John was nine years old, leaving his alcoholic wife and the boy in a strained economic situation. In desperation, John R-'s mother, having no skills and very little education, turned to earning a livelihood in the only way she thought she could, namely, as a prostitute. Having moved from the suburban home they had been leasing to a nearby big city, and being able to obtain nothing more than a two-room apartment in a questionable neighborhood, the subject's mother developed the practice of bringing her clients to the apartment, locking her son in one room while she "did her business" in the other when the boy was home.
Through extensive psychotherapeutic sessions with the youth after his commitment, the preceding appeared to be supported by his occasional ventures into dialogue reality. It was difficult to ascertain how much of what he said was fact and how much was fiction. There can be no question that as a child he was hungering for recognition, affection, and parental love that all children naturally hunger for. There can also be no doubt that if he had received any of this, it was minimal prior to his father's death and practically nonexistent after it. Absence of such love and recognition, naturally, produced an inferiority complex linked with an overwhelming feeling of insecurity.
It is obvious from the tone of John's narrative that he eventually developed a deep-seated hatred for the mother whom he wanted to love but who was always too busy with her clients, and too exhausted afterwards, to either accept her son's affection or offer him some of her own. As a result of this maternal indifference, and occasional belligerence directed at him,, John began to assume that there was something inherently wrong, if not evil, with himself. It did not take long for his hatred for his mother to become inverted and, thereby, directed at himself.
Mildred Newman and Bernard Berkowitz, two noted New York psychologists, consider a parallel general situation in their book entitled How to Be Your Own Best Friend. They write:
... We often go on doing things against ourselves just to prove we are the terrible person we imagined we were as a child. We suffer because of such imagined sins as our ambivalent feelings for our parents or our rage when they let us down or our loss of faith in ourselves when another child was born and our star turn was over. We're told to hate the sin and love the sinner, but we're too apt to twist it around the other way. We hate the sinner in us and cling to the sin....
And John, not knowing what his "sin" was, unable to recognize any such sin, appears to have created intentionally his masturbatory practice in order to have a basis for the hatred that he developed toward himself. This "sin" was discovered by his mother; however, it cannot at this time be definitely established if the incestuous act that John describes in his narrative actually took place or not. It is not impossible that it might have occurred when one considers the fact that the subject's mother was a prostitute; at the same time, there is a more likely possibility, considering the subject's subsequent psychotic state, that she had in fact rejected him when he tried to approach her sexually.
The true events of that period will more than likely never be learned. The subject's mother is dead; she committed suicide, it was learned, two years before the subject's apprehension. Whether the cause of that suicide was "simple" despair, or the cause of guilt feelings brought on by her mode of life, her failure as a person, and, if there had been incestuous activity with her son, by the breaking of man's oldest social taboo, is open to speculation.
CHAPTER SIX
The bathroom mirror was beginning to steam up, and Luke P. reached for a Kleenex to wipe off the condensation that obscured his view. He bent down and turned off the hot water faucet, and opened the cold, feeling the water in the tub quickly to test the temperature.
He turned back to the mirror, and inwardly smiled at his reflection. He looked pretty trim for thirty-three, he thought, with not even the hint of a paunch beneath his well-muscled chest, and below that ... well, hadn't Elsa always kidded him about what he had between his legs? "Why do you think I married you, Luke?" she had said many times, her slender fingers coaxing his manhood into a state that left only one thing for him to do. It's lucky Elsa went on the pill after their third child was born. They might have had a dozen, the way they made sex such a steady part of their diet.
In fact, in the mood he was in, he wished Elsa hadn't agreed to spend a week with her mother. He could use a little loving tonight. At the thought of her still slender body next to his, his groin flooded with desire and he felt the beginnings of an erection. Impatiently, he reached down and turned off the cold water, and turned back to the business of shaving. He always liked to shave in the evenings rather than before going to work. He picked up the razor, and then he heard the voice through the bathroom door. "Daddy, can I take a bath now?"
"No, Cele, you can wait awhile," he said, picturing his twelve-year-old standing in the hallway.
"But I always take a bath with mother."
"That's different."
There was a short silence, then Cele's plaintive voice again hit his eardrums. "Daddy, please let me come in. It's been a long time since I had a bath with you."
He grinned to himself. "It certainly has, sweetheart," he replied loudly, and his mind fled back to the last time he and Cele had been splashing in the tub together, her firm young body pleasing his eye, as he pictured her as an adult, with her mother's lithe figure and full breasts and hips. On a sudden impulse, Luke wrapped a towel around himself, and clicked open the door. "All right, seeing your mother's out of town, I guess you can." She stood still a moment, staring at him while he continued shaving.
"Okay, okay, if you're going to take a bath, climb on in." Slowly she entered, and slipped out of her robe, and gingerly eased herself into the tub of hot water. In the mirror, Luke could see her body and he marveled at her beauty. She was going to be one helluva woman in another five years. But right now she was still a child, with a great degree of child-like innocence in her face and manner.
Cele lay back, and let the water lap up to her chin.
"Come on, aren't you going to get in and wash my back?"
He rinsed off his razor, wiped his face quickly with a hand towel, and turned to her. "All right, all right," he said with mock impatience. "There's always something to do for my kids, isn't there?"
"Of course," replied Cele, impishly. "That's what daddies are for."
He removed the towel around his waist, and stepped into the tub. "Scoot over," he said gruffly. "I can't get in with your legs spread all over the place."
Obediently, she sat up, pulled her legs up to her chest, and gave him room to lower his body into the water until he sat opposite her.
"Turn around," he said, "I'll soap your back for you." She swung around on her buttocks, and put her arms around her knees, and sat still, waiting for his firm hands to start their ritual. Cele had always enjoyed her father's attentions, and of all his children, Luke felt closest to Cele. She was his first, and of the three, she displayed the most warmth towards him. They did many things together, but this was the first time in almost a year that they had shared a tub together. As he soaped her back, and ran his fingers over her smooth skin, he felt a tingle in his groin, and for the first time, he found his mind wandering into sexual areas, with Cele as the focal point. Impatiently, he glanced down and saw that his penis, half-floating beneath the water, had begun to enlarge. He knew if he weren't careful, he might end up with a roaring hard-on before many minutes had passed.
He tried to think of anything but the young body next to him, and the more he resisted, the harder he became. Without fully realizing it, Luke P. found himself, fully erect, with the end of his penis barely an inch or two from Cele's smooth, rounded buttocks. Nervously, his hand let go the bar of soap, which fell with a loud plop! into the water. Cele immediately reached down. "Where is it?" she said, feeling around. Then her hands came behind her, and under the water, her small fingers hit, and then closed around his shaft. Luke's body reacted like an electric bolt had gone through him. He pulled back, but she turned, stared and then grinned. "Ooooh, look at you," she said.
"You've seen it before," he replied gruffly.
"Yes, but not that big," she said curiously. "Why does it get that big?"
"It happens sometimes," he answered, feeling terribly out of his depth.
"It's funny," she said, still staring hard, and he felt his penis throbbing, excited by his thoughts, her hand and the hot water. "How long does it stay big?" Her fingers closed around it and she rubbed the skin back and forth, exposing the broad head.
"It's going to stay big as long as you play with it," he said. "So lay off. I'm going to turn around, and you can wash my back now."
Awkwardly, he moved around with his back to her. She changed positions as well, found the soap, and started on his broad back. Looking down between his legs, Cele could see his erection under the water, and with every movement of her hands on his back, the deep-seated feeling of sensuality grew, until he gritted his teeth in an effort to stem his mounting distress. He knew only too well the indications of approaching orgasm, and although he had always managed to control his climax with his wife, there had been several occasions in his life when it had been almost spontaneous, the result of excessive excitement and circumstances. And Luke knew that moment was approaching now, as he sat in the bathtub with his daughter, her fingers only adding to the torrent of sensuality that coursed through his veins. His thoughts were interrupted by the loud splash of the soap as it slipped from Cele's fingers and he felt it slide under his legs. Before he could reach for it, Cele's hands came around quickly, and again, whether by accident or design he knew not, they closed around the rock-hard shaft that projected from his crotch. Her body was pressed against his, and before he could say or do anything, she giggled, and said, "Can I play with this like I saw momma doing one night?"
Their eyes met, and the child-like impishness had, in his mind, given way to a taunting youthful provocation, and he felt powerless to answer, yet everything in his consciousness told him it was insanity, and he cursed his decision years before to hide nothing from his children, believing that shame over nudity only bred repression and neuroses. Now his chickens were coming home to roost ... with his oldest beckoning him into a world which he knew spelled only disaster.
With a groan, he lowered his head as he felt himself ejaculate in massive spurts between her fingers, while his body trembled uncontrollably and his arm went about her naked body, and his mouth found her face and smothered her smooth, wet cheeks with impulsive kisses. "What's the matter, daddy?" he heard her say. "It's getting soft again."
Before she could investigate further, he slapped her playfully on her buttocks. "Okay, time for bed," he said, his voice sounding strange to his ears. "Out you get." He breathed a sigh of relief as she climbed out, seized a towel and started drying herself. He remained in the tub until she had gone to her bedroom, closing the door behind her. Only then did he lean back, allow his penis to lie on top of the water, and relax in the afterglow of his orgasm. Later that night, just before he drifted off to sleep, he wondered what it might have been like if he had entered her, and felt that small, tight orifice enclosing his rod.
Cele never mentioned the episode again, and Luke made sure that he never again took a bath with her. He realized that not only was the child getting too old, but his unspoken thoughts indicated a desire on his part that he never dreamed existed in him.
Although the matter did not cause him untoward concern, Luke P. did not occasion to discuss it with his sole confidant, a Will F., who had graduated with Luke at the same time from Northwestern U. Luke had gone on into the import business. Will had pursued a medical career, ending up as a psychiatrist with an office only three blocks from Luke's place of business in Cleveland.
The two men had known each other since boyhood. In fact, they both enjoyed their first sexual encounter together-with two girls they met while at a school picnic on the lake. They married within a year of each other and used to share discussions on their individual families. Will had two children, and Luke often kidded him about stopping then. "When're you going to ctach up with me, Will?" The other man would grin amiably. "Two's enough for any man," was his reply.
About six months after the episode in the bath tub with Cele, Luke and Will were enjoying a drink after a round of golf, and the subject of sex education arose. Will was aware of the P.'s uninhibited attitude in front of their children, something he did not altogether approve of.
"Answering any questions truthfully is one thing," Will stated emphatically, "but indiscriminate nudity in front of children who are too young to understand, and too curious not to become interested; this is another matter."
If the bath tub episode had never happened, Luke would probably not have given such intense thought to Will's comments. As it was, Luke hesitated a moment, and then decided to launch into another area.
"Tell me, do you think that children ever have the desire to experiment with their parents?"
Will frowned.
"You mean indulge in sexplay?" Luke nodded. "Well, every child is wondering about sex, but usually from the standpoint of why a boy has an organ between his legs and a girl doesn't. They may explore each other, but so far as indulging with adults, this is not the usual case at all. Fear of the parent and his reaction would preclude such carryings-on."
Luke was silent for a moment, and Will looked at him with a smile. "Don't tell me one of yours has tried something with you?"
Luke flushed. "Not exactly."
"Look, Luke, I've known you twenty years. And my experience behind my desk counts for something, too. You're lying, you bastard. So why not tell me?"
Luke shifted uncomfortably. "Well, it's not an easy thing to tell."
"Nothing my patients tell me is ever easy," said Will, "but let me tell you, they feel a lot better when it's off their chests."
Luke paused a moment, and then took a deep breath.
"Okay. You remember when Elsa went to her mother's for a week? It's been five or six months ago now. Just after Christmas, I think. Well, Cele wanted to take a bath with me. We often used to when she was younger, but for the past year or so, it's usually been her mother who's climbed in the tub. You know how some kids are about that sort of thing?"
Will nodded. "Bath times can be funtimes, and a place of uninhibited closeness. But...."
He pursed his lips. "They can also be the breeding ground for a lot of sex activity."
Luke nodded. "I see you're way ahead of me."
"You mean Cele indulged in some sex activity with you in the bath? Or rather, you let her?"
Luke flushed. "I don't know, Will. Just before she came in, I had been thinking about Elsa. You know, she and I have sex almost every night. I'm a horny son-of-a-gun at the best of times. With her away, I was wondering...." He paused a moment. "Hell, I was wondering whether I'd jack off that night or just wait. And then Cele wants to climb in the tub, and I said okay, so she came in, and we got in the tub. She turned around, and I started soaping her back. It was only then I realized that she wasn't exactly a baby any longer, and her body in another few years would be really something. Before I knew it, I had a roaring hard-on. Then she dropped the soap, and while she was feeling for it under the water, she rubbed against my shaft, and then she grabbed it, and wanted to know why it was so big."
Will's face was serious, and a frown creased his forehead. "Luke, don't tell me you didn't get her out of the tub right away?"
Luke shook his head miserably. "No, for some strange reason, I just sat there. I told her it got big sometimes, and forget it. Then she washed my back, and dropped the soap again, and this time she hung on to my penis and started playing with it. I could feel myself coming, and I just hung on to her and shot under the water. Then she got out, dried off, and I stayed there. But later that night I kept thinking what it would have been like if I'd carried it further."
Will gasped. "Luke, do you know what you're saying?"
"Yup. I do. Which is maybe why I'm telling you." He smiled wryly. "You reckon I should make an appointment and come in and see you?"
"Hell, no. We've known each other too long. I can talk to you just as well here as in my office."
They were silent for a moment. Then Luke spoke. "Will I've read here and there about parents getting together with their children. You know, they're usually stories about the poor whites in the South, or something like that. But dammit, I should know better."
"It may be more common among low income groups," Will said. "But incest happens to parents irrespective. It only stems from our basic nature, which is a sexual one. Our culture and social mores have kept it down, but that doesn't mean it doesn't happen. And happen it does, more often than you imagine, and in some of the best families you could think of." He reached for a cigarette and then continued. "Have you had any further episodes with Cele since that night?"
Luke shook his head vehemently. "Hell, no.
She hasn't referred to it, and I've made sure I don't take any baths with her. Or any of the others for that matter. You see, Will, I'm wondering about myself. Cele's going to be thirteen this year, and she's always been close to me. I find myself trying to imagine her with her breasts developed; to picture her as a young woman, and how it would be to go to bed with her. Will, am I going nuts in my old age?"
Will laughed. "Old age? You're not even forty. If you were over sixty, I'd say you were turning into a dirty old man. But now ... never. And without going into your complete background with analysis, I'd hesitate to make any judgment. As your friend, Luke, I'd say only to try to forget what happened. Obviously the child thought nothing of it. And if you start looking at her in any other way than strictly fatherly, go take a cold shower. Or better still, take Elsa to bed and get rid of your frustrations. From what you've told me, Elsa knows how to satisfy you."
Luke smiled. "Yes. She's a wonderful woman. An angel in public, and a whore in bed. Nothing better." He laughed. "You know, Will, I do feel better, just for telling you."
Will patted his friend on the shoulder. "That'll be fifty dollars," he said jokingly. "I'll settle for another drink, though." His smile faded momentarily. "And Luke, promise me one thing. If you do find yourself having problems, don't hesitate to come to me. And don't wait too long. I'd hate to think what Elsa's reaction would be if she found out you'd been going to bed with your own children."
Luke flushed. "God forbid," he said softly, "I know I'm a horny stud, but I'm no pervert."
"If it will make your mind any easier, Luke," said Will, "what you have just told me is very mild compared with some of the sex problems that my patients bring to me. In fact, I had one last mouth who had a similiar feeling towards his teen-age daughter as he did to his wife. They all ended up in bed together one night, and he screwed 'em both. It was only after two weeks of this, and the wife realized that her husband preferred the daughter, that she started getting jealous, and the whole thing blew up. It's a mess, and I suspect it'll end in divorce. The guy's really something else again, but then the wife and daughter aren't much better."
Luke's talk with Will soothed his mind, and over the following years, his relationship with his wife continued happily. As Cele grew up, however, she began to evidence a rebellious nature, and by the time she entered college, she had joined the many young people who felt more than a passing antagonism for the Establishment. Cele met a boy at college, and began living with him. She also participated in several marches, and one student riot. Her exploits were a constant source of concern to Tom, seventeen, and Eleanor, twelve, were quiet, reserved, and a source of pride to their parents.
"I don't know what got into Cele," was a remark that Luke shared with Elsa many times during their discussions of their oldest daughter. "She used to be such a wonderful girl. Now...." And Luke, like many other parents faced with similar problems, would shrug and just hope it was a passing phase. By this time the memory of the bathtub episode had faded in Luke's mind. He was happy with Elsa, and he had no recurrence of his passing desires for Cele.
However, during her second year at college, Cele became actively involved with a radical group, and following a campus disturbance, she and several other students were sent home. The college made it quite clear that it would not tolerate active rebellion against its established procedures, and a letter to Luke informed him that his daughter would no longer be accepted as a student under the existing circumstances.
Luke and Elsa were horrified and faced Cele with their feelings the day after she got home. The girl was quite off-hand, and treated the whole affair as a big joke.
"It's nothing but disgraceful," said Elsa, facing her daughter across the living room. "We sent you to one of the best schools in the country, and you do nothing but bring shame upon us. In my day, kids went to school to get an education."
Cele lit a cigarette and eyed her parents airily.
"Cool it, mother," she said bluntly. "This is 1970 and things are changing."
"Basic principles of morality and good behavior are still very much in force," snapped Luke. "What do you expect to achieve by causing disturbances?"
"We're after improving the standards," Cele said imperturbably. "And if they don't listen to reason, then the only way to make our point is to show we mean business."
"I've heard it said that the parents are to blame for all this mess in the colleges," said Elsa calmly, "so maybe the parents should find out more about it. Luke, I think we should take a little trip and talk to the school officials." She turned to Cele. "And you'll come with us."
Luke held up his hand. "It might be better if we went alone," he suggested. "Cele's already made her position clear. It won't do any good for her to go back. But I do think that we might learn something if we went down."
"Good. We can fly down Friday," said Elsa.
Luke frowned. "Oh, I forgot, I have that board meeting."
They discussed their plan, and decided that Elsa would fly to the college and Luke would stay home to take care of his business.
"I'll manage," he told his wife. "Luke and Eleanor aren't exactly helpless, and maybe I can talk Cele into cooking." He gave his oldest daughter a warm smile. "How 'bout it, Cele?" His gesture went wide of its mark. Cele was noncommittal. "I don't care," she said. Luke's face flushed with anger. "That's the trouble," he snapped, "if you kids cared a little more, you wouldn't be in this mess."
Elsa left town, and the day after her arrival at the school, she called Luke, telling him that she would be delayed a couple more days, as the men she wanted to talk with were away.
Luke told her not to worry; everything was fine. In fact, he had been able to break through Cele's flip facade and establish a reasonable communication with her. Their daily talks had become deep and meaningful, and Luke hoped he would see her take a turn towards a better outlook on life.
"You said kids don't care," she told him the first night they talked after Elsa's departure, "but it's because we do care that we try to do something. There's a lot wrong in the world, dad. We're only doing what we think is best to bring about a change."
"Yes, but you never get anywhere with violence," Luke told her, "and even your personal outlook on individual relationships shows nothing but disregard for established morals and propriety. Your attitude towards sex, for instance."
Cele laughed. "I haven't told you, but ever since I went down to school, I've been living with this guy."
"I know," replied Luke, "but thumbing your nose at society doesn't make what you do any more right."
"What is right, and what is wrong?" replied Cele. "It depends on the way you look at it. I happen to think it perfectly normal to shack up with a guy you dig. At least when I do get married one day, I'll know what it's all about."
"A whore is experienced in sex, but that doesn't mean she makes a better wife," said Luke, his voice sharp with annoyance. "I'd hate to think your mother had slept around with every guy in town before I married her."
Cele shrugged. "That's your bag," she answered. "Guys today want a wife who knows how to satisfy in bed. And let me tell you, I've been having lots of practice."
"Are you going to marry this boy," asked Luke, "or is he just one along the way? For educational purposes," he added sarcastically.
"Oh, we dig each other, but I doubt if we'll get married. It's fun while it lasts." She took a drag off her cigarette. "I'm too young to think about marrying. I've got lots to do before I settle down to suburbia and all that. In fact, I want to experience everything I can, just as soon as I can." She stubbed her cigarette, and her eyes rested on her father for a moment with a quizzical expression. "I even want to have an affair with an older man. Just to see the difference."
Luke frowned. "Difference?"
She nodded. "The difference between the guys my age and those ... your age." She shifted in her chair, and leaned forward towards Luke. "You always brought us up with a free attitude, daddy. You can't expect to run around bare-ass in front of your kids, and not have them develop a curiosity about sex. Remember when I was a kid, we used to take a bath together?"
A sudden stab of fear went through Luke. It was the first time he remembered that bath tub episode in years.
"You were kids then," he said forcefully. "Children don't have the same outlook as adults."
Cele laughed, her voice suddenly tinged with innuendo. "No, maybe not. But when you start thinking about sex, a hell of a lot of things come back. Like the last time you and I were in the tub. I remember you got a hard-on. You know, I've never forgotten that. It was the first time I'd held a grown man's penis in my hand."
"Cele!" Luke's voice cut through the room like an explosion.
She laughed loudly. "Do I shock you? Why, daddy?"
"You're my daughter," he replied gruffly. "And what happened that night was only natural, if you know now as much about men as you claim. And your curiosity was also natural, like any kid wanting to find out."
Cele's voice was suddenly soft. "Yes, I wanted to find out. Just like I want to find out now about older men. I'm tired of these young studs who just want to climb on and screw. I'm sure there's more to it than that. Is there, daddy?"
"Cele, I think this conversation has gone far enough," said Luke, rising from his chair. "I'm going to bed now, and I think you should, too."
She sighed. "See what I mean?" She threw her arms in the air. "I'm a grown woman, and you still think I'm a child. And when we get down to the nitty-gritty, you tell me to go to bed, like I'm ten years old and have been caught stealing candy. And they talk about the generation gap. Oh, wow!"
He turned on his heel and wagged a finger in her face. "And what do you expect me to do?" he demanded, his voice shaking. "You've obviously learned a great deal more about sex than any textbook or parent could have told you. So why come to me now? It's a little late, don't you think?"
"It's never too late," she replied. "But go to bed, daddy. I'm sure this won't be the end of it. And we've got plenty of time to talk. Tomorrow ... next week ... next year...." She waved her hand airily. Luke turned on his heel with a grunt of disgust, and went to his bedroom.
Cele sat for a few minutes, a smile playing around her mouth. Then, with a very determined look on her face, she rose and followed him.
The office of Will Freeman seemed unnaturally still as the two men gazed at each other across the desk.
"She ... what?" said Will finally. "I can't believe it, Luke."
Luke shook his head hopelessly. "It's the truth, Will, and so help me God, I'm sitting here feeling so dirty, so filthy, that I can understand why some people slash their wrists. Only I'm not that sort of person. But at least I've come to you. Is it me who needs help, Will, or her?"
Will thought for a moment before replying. "It's perhaps a little of both," he replied carefully. "If there weren't the germ of a condition in you, it would never have happened, no matter how persistent she had been."
"But, Will, I told you, I thought it was Elsa," Luke said urgently. "I was almost asleep. I felt her there. We were into things before I realized."
"But even so, you could have stopped then," said Will. "No, Luke, I'd like to get to the bottom of this, but to help clear your own mind and subconscious, you'll have to tell me everything. And I don't mean merely saying that you've had relations with your daughter. I want a blow-by-blow account."
Luke frowned. "Will, much as we've been through a lot together...." he began, but stopped when Will held up a hand.
"Mr. P., you are a patient now," was the stern rejoiner. "I am Dr. Will F. Look at things from that basis. It will be a lot easier. And I assure you, whatever you say in these consulting rooms goes no further, by which I mean our personal friendship will continue as before. This is business. My friendship to you is pleasure. I never mix the two."
"Very well. Where do you want me to start?"
Will reached into his desk and clicked on a tape recorder. "You can start wherever you feel will be significant to your story," he replied. "Probably you'll recall a lot of things about your feelings as you go through. Whatever comes to your mind, I want you to say. Don't be afraid of using any language you want to describe any emotion and sensation you experienced. That is all vital in my analyzing your situation. Go ahead."
He leaned back in his chair, and Luke reached for a cigarette and started.
"Well, I had gone to bed. We had been talking for about a half-hour in the living room, and I thought I was getting through to Cele. After all, since she came home last week, Elsa and I felt like we had a stranger in the house. This flip talk, this attitude of hers; it was all so foreign to us both. The little girl we knew had disappeared. In her place was this young woman who seemed intent on destroying everything she touched, including our feelings for her. So after Elsa went down to the school, I decided I'd try and get my little girl back. I talked with Cele, and after a while, maybe she got tired of this facade and broke down. I don't mean she cried; she just relaxed, and we began to communicate the way we used to. I had a warm feeling again, and she was my little girl.
"Then we got on the subject of sex, and she told me about the boy she was living with, and that she also had relations with other students. Then she said she wanted to have sex with an older man, to see what it was like. She was tired of the young studs, as she put it, who just screwed her and that was all. The way she spoke offended me, and that was when I went up to bed, and left her in the living room. I had been under the covers probably not more than ten minutes, and was just dozing off, when I felt a rustle in the room. In the state I was in, more asleep than awake, it sounded just like Elsa. She often stays up late reading, and comes to bed after I do, and she's always very quiet so as not to disturb me. So naturally, I didn't raise up or anything, and I think I dropped off. The next thing I knew I had this incredible sensation, and I thought I was having a wet dream, but then it dawned on me that someone was sucking my penis. That was when I knew Elsa had come back sooner than she expected. It's one of her favorite surprises, as she calls it, to crawl into bed very quietly, and then go down on me.
"I lay there, picturing as I always did, her head between my legs, and those lovely lips of hers around my penis. She has a special gift for being able to stimulate me almost to the point of orgasm, and then holding back, so that it will last. Very often, I will go down on her, and we'll lie there, enjoying each other on and on until we've had enough, and then it's over. Sixty-nine was always my favorite, anyway. I love the sweet musky smell of Elsa's vagina, and even after the children were born, she was still firm and tight, and I love to get my tongue in there and suck away. We're both very sexual people, and we enjoy each other very much in bed.
"So, I'm lying there last night, picturing her in the dark, and I suddenly wanted to go down on her, so I reached for her, and pulled her leg, which was within reach. She knew what I wanted, because she twisted around, and automatically I bent forward, and buried my nose in her mound. My fingers pulled her labia open, and then my tongue went out and in, and I found her clitoris, and started sucking, running my tongue around it, in and out, around those soft folds of flesh, and then my hands went around her ass. I remember thinking briefly that Elsa must have lost a little weight, because her ass was firmer than I remembered it. But in that situation, no one's going to stop because of a passing thought like that. I felt her buttocks, and then pushed my finger between them, searching for her asshole. She loves a finger up her ass while I'm sucking on her. I found that orifice, and my finger went in, probed, and caressed her anus the way I've done a hundred times before.
"I felt her tongue go wild on me at that point. She started playing with my balls, running her fingernails through my pubic hair, and then her mouth slipped down my penis and she took my balls in her mouth and chewed gently on them. Then her tongue went down between my ass, and she found my anus, and started rimming me. Jeez, Elsa had not done that to me in years, and I went wild. Her hand was playing with my cock, rubbing the skin up and down, pulling it clear over the end, and then jerking it down, and back. I felt like I was floating. I knew if she kept that up, I'd shoot right off, and I like to come inside her, so I pulled back, and she got the message. Then quickly, she moved her body around, and in a second, she had pressed her hips to me, and I felt my shaft enter her, and I think that was when it really hit me. She was tight, oh, Lord, she was tight, and that pussy of hers gripped my shaft as it went in, all the way, and she was wriggling her ass a mile a minute. She grabbed me around the neck and kissed me, and her tongue was hard in my mouth, and when I touched her breasts, I knew damn well then it wasn't Elsa, who has large, round breasts. These were smaller, solid and the nipples were like marbles. Can you imagine what went through my mind at that point? Here I am, about to shoot my wad, and she's joined to me, my balls slapping her ass with each movement, and in my mind, it isn't Elsa in my mind, and I know that it can only be one other person.
"And that wasn't really what blew my mind. I knew then it was Cele, and my mind fled back to the episode in the bathtub, and mentally, I pictured that small body, just as it had been seven years before, and now I knew my rod was in that tight clit, and her body was blended with mine, and this knowledge seemed to make the sensations even greater. I don't have a small one, but I've never had any complaints, either, but at that moment, I could have sworn my rod swelled up. I could feel it getting thicker and longer, or so it seemed, and going deeper into her. Her love juices were flowing and making it slicky and easier, sending shivers down my spine and a thrill through my loins like I hadn't experienced in years. I grabbed her even harder, twisting her nipples in my fingers until I felt her twist away, and shudder. I sank my teeth into her shoulder, and let my tongue go wild over her skin, sucking and kissing her while her hips and mine pumped away, harder and harder. I could hear our bodies slapping against each other, and the sweat mingling with the juices from her clitoris. And then she started moaning, louder and louder, and I felt my own climax coming, growing from deep inside me. until I burst, and I went on coming and coming, shooting into her until I thought my very guts would be pumped out of me. I was trembling violently, and we lay together, exhausted but glowing, and my mind was reeling, because I knew some words were coming, and I couldn't imagine what words they would be, either from me, or from her.
"At last, I opened my eyes, and I could see her eyes were open, reflecting the dim glow that came through the curtains. She was smiling, and she bent forward and kissed me tenderly. 'Oh, daddy, that was the most,' she said softly, and I just lay there, not knowing what to say, because at the moment, there wasn't a single thing I could have said. Inside I knew it was the best sex I had ever had, not just because of the physical aspect, but because something there had been satisfied, that something which years before had made me get the hard-on in the bath, and given me those terrifying thoughts of having sex with her. Yet still there lingered the terrible guilt over what I had done."
Luke paused a moment, and reached for another cigarette. He looked completely haggard and drained from relating his experience.
Will gazed sympathetically across the desk at his friend who had now become his patient.
"Okay, Luke, let's hear the rest of it now," he said.
Luke looked up. "The rest?"
"Sure. You have both completed your climax, and are lying in bed. Please continue. What was said and what happened then is vital."
Luke drew a breath and continued. "Well, I don't know how long it was we lay there. Time seemed to have stood still, and my mind was whirling around. I remember thinking that I desperately wanted a cigarette, but for some reason, I didn't want to disturb her-or myself. So I just lay there, incredibly satisfied in one respect, and intolerably mortified in another. Finally, she raised up on one elbow, and as if reading my mind, asked me if I wanted to smoke. I nodded, and she slipped out of bed and over to the dresser. I heard her funbling around, and then striking a match. In the bright flare of light, I saw the silhouette of her body, and without wanting to, I felt a glow again, an excitement. Her breasts did not hang at all; they were firm, and her trim figure looked like one of these ads for a health studio: perfect. And I knew desire was starting again in me. She came back silently to the bed, handing me a cigarette, while she sat on the edge, taking a puff from her own. Her free hand came over, and stroked my chest, and then she spoke.
"'Well, now I know,' she murmured. 'I don't think I'll ever be satisfied like that again."
"I cleared my throat, and as I spoke, the words sounded so obtuse, so idiotic. 'Cele,' I whispered. 'Why?'
"She laughed softly. 'I've always wanted to, that's why,' she replied. 'Is it so wrong, just because you're my father? I'm not going to get pregnant, you know, I've been taking the pill for two years."
"'That's not the point,' I said, gaining confidence now. 'What you have done is wrong, terribly wrong."
"'So we've both done something very wrong,' she said with the hint of her usual flip attitude. 'It isn't just me, remember."
"'But Cele, when you crawled into my bed, I was just about asleep. I ... I thought it was your mother. Things had gone too far before I realized that it was you."
"She laughed softly. 'Dare I ask what made you realize the difference?'
"'Don't be disgusting,' I replied.
"'I won't,' she murmured. 'I don't want to spoil it. And right now I feel so wonderful ... oh, daddy ... ' And then she lay down across my chest, and I could feel those beautiful breasts against me, and the tingle I felt moments earlier at seeing her in the glow of the match grew and I began to tremble. She put her hand down on my crotch and felt the rising pressure and her fingers closed around me, and she started rubbing my rod again, pulling the skin back and forth until I had a full erection again. I know I should have stopped her, but by then the over-powering sensuality of her presence was too much for me, and I lay back and let her have her way. She dropped her cigarette in the ashtray and closed her lips around my organ and started sucking again. It was more than warmth, excitement, and all the things that act usually has; it was the overall mental stimulation from knowing now who it was, that my own child was performing this act on me, and doing it in such a way that I gave myself over completely to pure pleasure. She ran her tongue up one side and down the other, pausing a moment to nibble on the head, pushing her teeth into the slit and rubbing, then sliding down to my balls and taking them in her mouth.
"I could feel that it wouldn't be long before I climaxed again. My shaft began that convulsive throbbing, jerking involuntarily with each caress of her lips. I began moaning, and twisting my hips, pushing deeper into her mouth until I felt my head in her throat. Her hands were running over my stomach, down between my legs, and squeezing my buttocks. Then she pushed down, found my anus and inserted a finger, and started probing. Deep inside me I felt her finger, just as my shaft was deep inside her mouth, and then my whole body shuddered, and I shot, load after load into her while she made little animal noises, gulping and taking it all. I lay back, completely exhausted, wanting nothing more than to fall asleep in the warm afterglow. There was no thought in my mind of talk, of discussion, or anything but remembering the incredible sensations she had given me. The bed creaked as she rose, and I have a vague recollection of her leaving the room quietly, and then I was asleep. When I woke up this morning, I knew I couldn't brook over it alone, which is why I called you."
Will nodded and reached for the tape recorder. He switched it off, and leaned forward across the desk. "Luke, I think it would be wise to have Cele come in and talk to me. I've heard your side of things. It will be important to know what her attitude is. After all, not every girl aggressively climbs into bed with her father, and this may be indicative of a condition that could lead her to disaster."
Luke nodded. "I don't know whether she will agree, but I'll do my best."
Luke returned home, and found Cele in the living room, watching television. He walked over, switched off the set, and confronted her with the fact that he had visited Will F. and shared with him the episode of the previous night. Cele was vastly amused, and when Luke suggested that she call and go in herself, she flatly refused.
"You make it sound like a federal case," she said roughly. "Nothing's wrong with me, or you for that matter."
"Cele," said Luke as patiently as he could, "What happened last night is not normal. It could lead to a great many emotional problems. Please ... do as I say. Call Dr. F."
Finally, Cele agreed, and the following day, she walked into the same room where Luke had bared his soul. After a brief exchange of pleasantries, Will carefully started questioning her about her motives for wanting sex with her father.
"It's no big deal," she told him. "I've slept with a bunch of young guys, and I wanted to find out what it was like with an older man. What better person than my father?"
"But, Cele, a desire like that is not normal for you," Will said. "It stems from something, and we should try to find out what."
She shrugged. "So what do you want to know?"
He turned on the tape recorder and smiled at her.
"I'd like you to start talking, and say whatever comes into your mind about the subject of sex. When you first had an experience with a man, and when you first, if you can recall, had any sort of feeling to want sex with your father. Just relax, and let your memories come."
Cele settled back in her chair, and began.
"I've always had a strong attraction to my father. He's a very handsome man. I guess you know about his attitude when I was a kid; his not hiding his body from his kids. He and mother used to parade in and out of the bathroom without their clothes, and I guess way back when, it didn't mean anything.
But then as I got older, I started wondering about sex. I mean, seeing my mother was nothing. She had the same thing between her legs that I do. But seeing my father's penis hanging there, swaying as he walked, made me curious. I always wanted to hold it, feel it, and find out all about it. Once when I was about twelve, we took a bath together, and he got a hard-on. I remember touching it under the water, and I never forgot that feeling. It felt like nothing on earth. I know he got real uptight, but something told me not to hang on too long.
After he sent me to bed that night, I remember lying awake and thinking about it. I had seen my brother naked, and his penis was circumcised. My father is not, and the difference made me curious. Why was my little brother's like that, and why did my father have such a big one, and all skin. I wondered where the red head had gone. It was only years later that I discovered how things are, but by then, I had an insatiable desire to see my father naked again, to feel him and find out what it was all about. When I was fifteen, this boy at school helped me over the first hurdle.
He took me swimming one day out at the lake, and we sneaked up the beach and behind the dunes. He was a well-built kid, and filled his swimsuit real good, too. He started playing around, and got a hard-on. I was a little scared, but he told me not to worry, because he'd done it before with other girls, and he knew how. We lay down behind some bushes, and took off our swimsuits.
His dick stuck out stiff as a board, and I started playing with it, looking at it closely. He was not circumcised, and when I pulled his skin back, I saw the head there, and then I knew the answer to one question. I stared at it, and he said, 'Go down and kiss it.' I did, and started sucking, and liked it.
He had his finger in me, and I felt good all over, and then he told me to lie down, and he got on top, and I felt his cock go in. It was the first time ever, and it hurt, not too bad, because I was real excited, but when I saw the blood, I got scared. He was real shocked that I was a virgin, and said it was the first virgin he'd ever had.
We put on our suits and went back into the lake, swimming, and by the time I got home, the bleeding had stopped, so I didn't say anything to mother or dad, and they, of course, didn't know. After that, I met the kid again a couple of times, and we had sex as often as we could. He was great. By this time, I knew what it was all about, and still wanted my father."
"Do you still feel you want to have relations with your father, Cele?"
She shrugged. "Mother'll be back either today or tomorrow. I don't see how."
"That doesn't answer my question. Do you want to?"
Slowly she blew a cloud of smoke into the air. "Well, I really don't know. I've had what I wanted: sex with an older man. I know that older men are better than young studs. So maybe I'll just look around for an older guy to go with." She laughed quietly. "Does that make me a little whore?"
He shook his head. "No, it doesn't. But I think it's time you started thinking about meaningful relationship that can help you mature into a woman who'll be able to marry, have a family and be happy."
"Happy? What is happiness? To me right now, it's enough to eat, something to do, and someone groovy in bed. You see, I really dig sex."
"Yes, that's all well and good. It's a normal healthy outlook from any girl your age, provided you are selective in your choice of bed partners. Don't you feel any remorse over doing what you did with your own father?"
She shook her head emphatically. "Not one bit. At least it was better than picking up some old John and getting into a scene that might become a problem."
"But you've already created a problem, Cele. Your father is very disturbed over your actions-as well as his own."
She sighed. "Sure, sure. But I'm not going to open my trap, and I'm sure he won't. So as long as mother doesn't know, and nobody finds out, what's the difference?"
CONCLUSION:
The popularity of Freudianism is not a criterion on which verity of the doctrine can be rationally based. The Earth-centered view of Hipparchus was accepted as scientific gospel for some 1700 years, before it was proven radically incorrect by Copernicus. Sigmund Freud formulated his theory at the turn of this century; he died only thirty-three years ago; twenty-eight years before Freud died, his former associates, Carl Gustav Jung and Alfred Adler, formed their own schools of psychology (analytical and individual, respectively) in protest against Freud's emphasis on infantile sexuality and the Oedipus complex.
Writing "the father of psychoanalysis" off, however, as being more popular and less right-specifically within the area of incest-is invalid unless some other explanation to intra-familial sex can be offered. The intent of this work is not to discredit Freud but to arrive at a more acceptable theory regarding incest and, thereby, to attain a better understanding of human nature and the problems inherent to it. Consequently, the next logical question is: If the Oedipus complex is, indeed, nothing more than "the product of Freud's imagination" and, therefore does not explain the reasons behind an incestuous act, relationship, or practice, what does?
The answer is both simple and complex: In a simple, and necessarily generalized form, the answer to what incites an incestuous sexual union is the same as the answer to what incites a non-incestuous sexual union, namely: a natural sexual drive, lust, love, fear, and/or hatred. There is no natural inclination toward an incestuous union; neither is there a natural repulsion, i.e., a repulsion that is not the byproduct of social teachings.
In a complex form, the answer to the question, as shall be shown, involves the interactions of two personalities that are two products of a certain environment, an interaction that is incited, as mentioned above, by the sexual drive, lust, love, fear, and/or hatred. The fact that the two personalities belong to a father and daughter, a mother and son, a brother and sister, or any two related individuals, is incidental to the question.
