The family has always been one of the major breeding grounds for neurosis and psychosis. Indeed, some psychoanalysts believe that all mental disorders have roots in the patient's childhood, his relationships with his mother and father. If his parents abuse him, ignore him, intimidate him, his maturity will be slowed, sometimes aborted.
"I always hated my parents," one young patient once told me. "I started using dope when I was sixteen just to escape. I didn't have the strength to move out on them, so I stayed at home, smoking pot and popping pills so that I could stomach them."
Obviously, this boy had serious emotional problems. It developed that his mother was a career woman, his father a hard-driving lawyer. Neither gave him the affection he needed, being preoccupied with their own vocational interests. He grew up full of love for them, but he also harbored an immense hatred. And it was the hatred that poisoned his life, made existence intolerable for him unless it was experienced in a drug-induced state.
The boy also began an affair with his sister.
"She cared about me," he explained. "She really loved me and appreciated affection. And she was very loving. I had no confidence socially, being afraid of girls. But I wasn't scared of Ellen. Since we were alone so much, we had plenty of time for sex. Neither of us had dates. We didn't need anyone...."
While his affair with his sister continued, the boy was happy. But when she went away to school, later marrying, he became miserable, sinking into a depression that spurred him to attempt suicide.
Luckily, his attempt failed, and he entered therapy, anxious to understand his psychological makeup.
This book is a compilation of tape recordings that have been transcribed and edited by me. The last names of all patients have been abbreviated, and I have included a brief description of them and their initial condition.
I have also included my own comments in the form of parenthetical notes, which are not meant to be cut-and-dried explanations of the patient's behavior but simply aids toward understanding their condition.
I realize that incest is considered an extreme ly delicate subject, but I do not think that discussion of it should be avoided. If we are to understand the emotional stresses that lead to a patient's mental deterioration, we must study his behavior.
To ignore the problem incest poses to our society would be foolish. Brothers and sisters who enter into sexual relationships are ill-equipped to deal with the realities and responsibilities of life. If they marry, their marriages may be disastrous, their families desperately unhappy.
"I wasn't able to live with myself until I really faced up to all the feelings that were tearing me apart," said one female patient, whose brother had served as her lover for several years. "If I had met my frustrations and problems head-on earlier, if I had understood them, I would have been spared an immense amount of torment. But I was scared, afraid of what the world would think of me. That kind of attitude can't exist if people are to be healthy...."
CHAPTER ONE
PATIENT: Jim W., twenty-three, teacher.
REMARKS: A tall, good-looking man, Jim was especially anxious to tell his story. He is convinced that therapy is the only solution to his emotional problems. Following is a transcript of his first session with me.
JIM: I guess you know all about the middleclass scene. I mean, everybody's talking about it these days. I was born into it, I lived in it, and at times I felt as though I'd rather die than remain in it. But it's not easy to escape. Once you've been immersed in a certain type of life, you feel uneasy about exiting. You sense that there's no exit.
My father sold insurance, and my mother kept the house. That's about it; that's all they did with their lives. Free time was spent nitpicking and squabbling. The old man would get mad because his favorite shirt hadn't been ironed. The old lady would blow out air because Dad hadn't replaced her scissors after he'd used them. Beautiful.
What was beautiful was my sister, Joy. When I was eighteen and a virgin, she was sixteen and knowledgeable, and I mean the kind of knowledge that comes with experience. I didn't realize that then, of course. I thought she was as naive and ignorant sexually as I was.
She was damned sexy: tall for a girl, with strong thighs and juicy-looking tits, her hair blond and long, and a kind of pouting face, her lips soft and red. I used to keep an eye out for her when I knew she was showering in the bathroom. When I heard the bathroom door open, I stepped out into the hallway, pretending that I didn't know she was coming. She'd bounce out, a towel wrapped around that sexy body, and I'd gasp and move to the side to let her pass.
"Ooooh, Jimmy!" she'd laugh. "You're spying on me again. Now, don't look...."
I'd follow her with my eyes as she disappeared into her room, glancing back at me to smile. I think that she wanted me to go with her, to walk into her room and close the door and do whatever I wanted with her.
And then, one day, it happened.
We were swimming in the pool in the backyard. It was hot as hell, about ninety degrees on a July day. I lay on the side of the pool, and she swam up to me and splashed water on me.
"Hey!" I shouted. "What the hell do you think you're doing, anyway?"
"Getting you wet! Here's some more of the same!"
She splashed me again, and I dived into the pool after her. She wore one of those tiny bikinis, and when I came up under her, grabbing at her, the top fell loose and those beautiful tits spilled out, bobbing in the water like balloons.
"Ohh, Jimmy, see what you've done!" she teased.
"I'm sorry," I blubbered, not wanting to stare but finding it impossible to keep my eyes off those white melons. "Go ahead. Fix your top...."
I turned my head, and she giggled.
"Why?" she said. "You're my brother. And besides, I like swimming in the nude...."
And with that she shucked off her panties and kicked her legs, churning the water furiously. I didn't know quite what to do. So she came up with a suggestion.
"Take your bathing suit off," she said, smiling coyly. "Don't be left out...."
Now, being left out was a sore point with me. I mean, I just felt left out. All the time. I didn't have a steady girl; I wasn't athletic enough to be on a school team; I couldn't dance. So when she warned me about being left out, I decided that I'd show her what kind of man I was.
I pushed the suit down my legs and let it bob to the surface. Her eyes widened, and she swam toward me. I don't think she really expected me to take the suit off. I think it kinda excited her when she saw it float up in front of me.
"Ain't this fun?" she said, sliding against me.
Even in the cool water, her body seemed warm, and as it eased against me, I felt my dick throb. Her eyes were bright, and as I stared at her, I began to feel frightened. I didn't know what was happening, didn't know where it would lead us.
"Ummmmm, hug me, Jimmy," she mewed. "Put your arms around me. Don't worry. I won't bite...."
She grabbed my wrists, and my arms slid around her waist. Somehow, I couldn't resist her. She didn't cease to be my sister; I can't he about that. But she became something more, a woman. And my prick was ripe for a woman. Very ripe, indeed.
"Oh, Jimmy!" she gasped, dropping her hand to my cock. "You're so hard! And big...."
Her lips were inches from mine, and I pulled her close, driving my tongue between her lips. We damn near sank to the bottom. I struggled into shallow water, and we stood kissing, up to our necks in the warm green water, our bodies twisting together as we worked ourselves through one of those bruising soul kisses.
"Geezus!" I moaned. "Ohhhh, Joy! You're so beautiful. Oh my God, what's going on?"
"Just kiss me," she snapped, trying to head off my fear. "Kiss me...."
I sucked her tongue into my mouth, and her hand moved over my prick, pulling at the skin,' sliding it back and forth in a slow, masturbatory movement. I was ready to come.
"Let's get outta the pool," she gasped. "C'mon. Let's go up on the grass."
We hopped out of the damn pool like a couple of toads. She spread that sweet body of hers on a blanket, and I stood staring down at her, gaping at the first pussy my horny eyes had ever seen. She grinned and opened her arms, her tits jiggling as she twisted on the blanket.
"Jimmy," she cooed. "Come here, Jimmy...."
I knelt beside her, and she pulled me onto her, my body sliding between her big legs. Her legs clamped about me, and she kissed me hard. I thought I was gonna blow my top. My dick felt like it would burst, and I shoved my hands under her back and worked my dick against her pussy.
"Put it in!" she gasped. "Put it in me, Jimmy...."
I hesitated a moment, then took my dick in hand and tried to find the lips of her vagina. Man, my heart was spinning like a mad top. I didn't think about right or wrong. Suddenly, all that mattered was her goddamn steaming cunt and my aching prick. I wanted to fuck, wanted to feel her suck at my dick with her pussy. All that had been denied me so far in my life would be given to me if I dared work my cock into her sweet cunt.
[Note: Jim erroneously believes that sex is the answer to all his problems at this point in his life.
As he says, it does not matter that the girl with whom he will have sexual intercourse is his sister. All that matters is that she is female and willing. By making love to her, he asserts his masculinity. With his sister, he does not fear impotence, because their familiarity soothes his uneasiness. In addition, she is the aggressor. Initially, he responds despite efforts to ignore her charms. She is the perfect partner for him.]
My dick had plunged into her, and it felt as though I'd shoved the damn thing in an oven. Man, she was hot. I think the fact that she was fucking with her brother turned her on even more. Her cunt felt like a flame, and I just pumped it into her, jerking against her with quick thrusts.
"Harder! Harder, Jimmy!" she screeched, and the thought flashed through my mind that we might be heard. Just as quickly, it disappeared. I didn't give a damn if the whole town caught us. I was about to come, and nothing else mattered.
"Gonna come!" I rasped. "Ohhhh, Sis! Gonnnna cummmmmmmmm! Gahhhhhhhhh!"
Man, it felt like my dick was gonna be torn off. She lifted her ass and worked her cunt over me, bucking against me as my sperm gushed into her. It seared my brain, and I gritted my teeth and let her suck it all out of me.
"Oooh, oooh, oooh!" she whined. "Yesssss...."
She hugged me tight, her legs flexed around' my back, and when we were finished, she relaxed, our bodies heaving together, hot and slick with sweat.
And then I heard a voice within me.
Man, you just fucked your sister! Good God, what have you done? What's going to happen to you? I tensed for a moment, and then I heard an answer. It seemed a different voice, cool and detached. Nothing's going to happen, dammit. You fucked her, and you dug it. So did she. Just enjoy it.
I did. I felt good, contented and at ease. A huge weight seemed to have been removed from my shoulders, from my heart. I felt like a man, strong but tender. It was wonderful....
"Jimmy?"
"Yeh, Sis?"
"What are you thinking?"
Her tone was tentative, cautious.
"I was thinking about how damn much I enjoyed screwing you. It was fantastic...."
She squealed and threw her arms around my neck. I wondered whether my weight was making her uncomfortable, but when she started writhing, her belly moving over my deflated cock, I knew she wasn't a bit bothered by my being on top of her.
"Let's do it again!" she whispered, sounding for all the world like a little girl who wanted an other piece of her favorite candy. "C'mon. Let's do it...."
My dick was up in a jiffy, and I let her put it in this time.
"Ahhhhh, but I love it!" she groaned. "Ohhhhh, I love your dick. Love it! So big and hard! Ummmmmmm...."
I fucked it into her, and I decided that I'd do more for her this time. I didn't want to come as quickly as I had the first time. I had read a lot of books about sex, and I knew that women didn't like to be dispensed with in one fell swoop. They wanted to prolong the sensation, and as I eased my prick through her cunt, I liked the idea of drawing our second fuck out as far as it would go.
"That's nice," she murmured. "Mmmmmm, I like that. Ummmm, fuck me! Fuck me good!"
I just kept sliding it into her, feeling the lips of her cunt suck at it. My prick felt huge, fat and swollen. Our bellies slapped together wetly as we fucked, and I could smell her cunt, musky and strong. I felt the come well up in me, and I stopped, intending to start again when the sensation subsided.
"No, no, don't stop," she moaned, driving her hips against me, her cunt jerking over my throbbing prick. "Fuck me! Ohhhhh, Jimmy! Fuck meeeeeeeee!"
Man, I knew right then that she didn't want to play any more. She wanted it, not a minute later, but instantly.
And so I unloaded. Her heels slid down the back of my thighs, down my calves, and locked on my ankles. I twisted against her, pushing my dick into her as she slid her pussy over it. The come spurted into her, and she went mad, writhing like a fish out of water, her head snapping from side to side. She didn't scream; the only sound she made seemed a gutty hiss, a curse that dribbled from between her clenched teeth. She seemed an animal, and I fucked her like an animal.
"Ohhh, that was lovely," she murmured when we were finished. "Just lovely...."
"Damn, you sure can fuck," I said, finally realizing that my sixteen-year-old sister was far from being a virgin. "Who you been running around with?"
"Oh, never mind."
And it was then that I felt the first twinge of jealousy. I didn't like the idea of her fucking with other guys. Somehow, she belonged to me now, she was my girl. Nobody could give it to her like me, I believed that. It had been too good; it couldn't have been just like other times, with other guys.
"Listen," I said, grabbing by the arm as she tried to turn away. "I don't like to share things...."
She looked at me and smiled.
"Okay," she said. "But remember, that goes for you, too. I don't like to share, either."
She walked into the house, and I dived into the pool, the water rushing over me. When I broke the surface, I lay on my back, floating free. I thought about her, about what happened. I wondered when we would get together again. We had to be careful; our parents couldn't discover us. That would ruin everything.
I went golfing the next day with a friend. It was incredibly boring, and I was glad to get back home. As usual, both my parents' cars were gone, but as I walked up the street, I noticed a green convertible parked in front of the house by the curb. I didn't recognize it, and it occurred to me that it might belong to one of my sister's friends. And the friend might be male.
I rushed up to the house and opened the front door carefully, not wanting to make any noise. When I stepped into the foyer, I listened for sounds coming from the living room, but there were none. I thought I heard Joy giggle, and I went up the stairs, nearly creeping to avoid making a sound. When I came to her bedroom, I peered through the partly open door.
I nearly fell on my goddamn face....
Joy was on the bed, nude, her legs spread wide. A skinny, dark-haired boy was fucking his dick into her while a chubby girl worked her mouth against them both, lapping at their genitals. Their groans became more intense, and I saw that Joy was about to come. I wanted to rush in and pull the stud off her, but I couldn't move.
My dick jerked inside my pants, and I slid my hand over it. The kid had an enormous cock, about two inches longer than mine, and mine measures about seven inches. I watched him power his prick through her, grinning at her, enjoying her response. And then he came, and that fat girl sucked both of them, her lips making loud smacking noises.
When they were through, I pushed the door open and strode into the room.
"Jimmy!" my sister yelped.
"Get out," I said to the kid. "And you, too, dear. Get your clothes on and get out."
I had a lot of balls to say that to him. He was bigger than me. But I guess he was rattled, being caught fucking in somebody else's house. Maybe he figured I'd tell my parents and get him into trouble. At any rate, they hoofed it out of there, he and his girlfriend. And then I turned to Joy.
"What the hell do you mean by-" she said.
I interrupted her, slapping my hand across her face. I was mad. Crazy mad. I don't remember much about it, but I wanted to kill her, and I think I nearly did. I couldn't believe she'd do something like that to me, right in my own home! I hit her again and again, and she screamed bloody murder. I was afraid that the neighbors would call the cops, but I was too mad to stop.
"I told you!" I ranted. "I told you not to do it! Why? Why did you?"
Tears were streaming down her face, and she had given up trying to protect herself. I stopped hitting her, staring at her lush body as it heaved, her breathing hoarse as she gasped for air. Her shoulders shook, and I looked down at her pussy, still slick and wet.
"You bitch!" I cursed. "I said you were mine...."
She looked up at me, glaring. And then she eased onto her back, her sleek legs draping open.
"All right," she said flatly. "Come on and get it! Come on! Get that big dick of yours into me!"
I damn near tore my clothes off getting into that bed. She laughed, and I just pushed my prick into her. She was sopping wet, ready to be fucked.
"Ohhhh, yessss, Jimmy!" she squealed. "Oh, I love you! I just did it with that boy because you weren't here. You said you were gonna be here when I got home, and you weren't. They came in with me, and before I knew it, they were making out. I watched them, and they asked if they could go upstairs. I let them, then followed. They fucked on my bed, and when they were through I was so hot I couldn't stand it. They pulled me in, and then they fucked me. I'm sorry, Jimmy. Honest I am. I'll make it up to you-"
She did, and very nicely. I forgot all about the stud and his girlfriend. I just fucked my sister, working my dick into her and letting my mind drift. I felt as though I were in a special world, and I didn't want to leave it. I fell and twisted, slid through her glorious wetness and the heat flowing around me, bathing me in warmth. And then I couldn't hold back any longer, and she bucked like a stallion, taking it all.
"You're an evil girl," I said to her later.
"Yeh, but don't you love it?" she grinned.
I had to admit I did. And then she did something that surprised hell out of me.
She bent her head and sucked my dick into her mouth. I just lay back and let her tongue go to work on me. It was something else, too. She could wrap that tongue around my dick and suck so hard I thought she was gonna swallow it. Her fingers toyed with my balls, caressing them lightly, and I slid my hands into her hair, moving her mouth over my prick. It was gorgeous; outta sight.
"Ohhhhh, baby," I moaned. "That's so good! Yeh, Sis! Go ahead and suck it for me! Mmmmm, yehhh...."
She sucked me until she felt my dick throb, and then she moved off it and straddled me, letting her pussy ease onto my dick.
"Gonna fuck you," she murmured, her eyes blazing.
Her hair cascaded over her face as she rode me, and I mean she rode me! I felt like a damn horse.
"Do it!" she said. "Come in me! Come!
I reached up and grabbed her tits, kneading them, pulling at them. I didn't want to follow her instructions, not just yet. I wanted to enjoy-"
"Oh, Jimmy! I love you so! Ooooooohhh...."
I reached behind her and felt my dick sliding into her cunt. I stuck my finger in her, and she starting mewing like a kitten. She fucked me hard, and I couldn't control myself. I let fly, and she jerked and twisted like an eel.
"Gotta run!" she said finally, moving off me.
"Hey! Where you goin'?"
She grabbed a towel and picked up her suit, which had drifted into the shallow end of the pool.
"Got a date!"
I cursed her, but she just laughed and ran inside. I lay there thinking what a lousy world it was. What the hell was I going to do? I couldn't keep her from seeing other guys, and she knew it. She had lied to me before, when she told me that those two kids had seduced her. Most likely, she had brought them home and seduced them! When I thought about her, my dick began to swell, and I knew that I was hooked. I needed her, and if I had to share her with a few other studs, well, that was the way it had to be.
So we were lovers for over two years. I went to college, figuring that I wouldn't be able to see her as much. But a funny thing happened; she came to see me.
"I told you already that I love you," she explained the first time she visited me on campus. "What's so confusing about my wanting to see you?"
She had a point there, and so we retired to the nearest hotel for a grand night of fucking. She told me about her other lovers, emphasizing that she saw them only to counter any suspicions that our parents might harbor about us. And I think they had a few. My father couldn't understand why Joy wanted to come visit me so often. She told him I had introduced her to a groovy guy on campus, and when I told him that their relationship was entirely platonic, he agreed to let her come to the school a couple of times each month. Which was often enough to satisfy my appetite for her.
"It isn't the same with other boys," she said to me once. "I enjoy it, but not like with you. You're special. I experience an indescribable feeling when you fuck me. I don't ever want to lose you. Someday maybe we can live together...."
I figured that was out of the question, but I didn't count on Joy's determination.
"Listen, I found an apartment downtown, and I think we can move in," she said after I had graduated from college. "It'll be groovy...."
She had really developed by that time. Her body was beyond beautiful. All sorts of cats were trying to get next to her, and one middle-aged man had mentioned something about her making a motion picture. She turned him down, though. She told him she didn't want to leave her hometown.
And then, just when we both were looking forward to a grand old time when I got back from school, I met Gloria.
Gloria was lovely, and she loved me. She loved me more than Joy could, and it wasn't a shallow, sexual love. This woman really loved me. And I realized shortly that I loved her. And so we decided to get married.
"You'll see, you'll realize that you can't find with her what you have with me!" she yelled. "She won't be able to give it to you like I do. You'll want me sooner or later...."
I refused to believe she was right. I hadn't slept with Gloria; she was a virgin, and she was kind of shy about sex. But I didn't doubt that we could make it together once we were married.
I was wrong.
It was a bad scene, right from the start. I wanted to make it good, but we didn't have it, there just wasn't any fire to our lovemaking. She didn't seem to react, didn't seem to generate any passion. I began seeing other women, but I found that they, too, seemed listless compared to my experiences with Joy.
And by that time, I was scared.
I mean, how could I be tied to my own sister? Christ, what a hang-up. I had to find somebody, anybody, who could give me what I needed. But it didn't work, and I found myself knocking on the door of my parents' home one day, hoping Joy would be willing to see me.
"No, I can't, not today," she said, refusing to open the door.
I raved like a madman, but she didn't near me. I guessed she and a lover were inside, fucking their brains out and laughing at the idea of me outside pounding on the door like a cuckold. I tried to contact her for weeks, but she dodged me every time. I was getting desperate. I needed her, needed to feel her under me. I didn't bother approaching Gloria any more We weren't even speaking. We had been married two months, and it was on the rocks, sinking rapidly.
* * *
"Hi, Jimmy!"
I nearly fell over. She looked like a million dollars, standing in the hallway of my apartment building. She hadn't called to tell me she was on her way over; she just came. And when I got her inside, I couldn't keep my hands off her.
"Oh, Jimmy!" she giggled. "You're so fresh! And with your own sister! You should be ashamed...."
"Yeh, sure, later for that," I said, pulling at her dress. "C'mon. Get that damn thing off and let's get to bed."
Gloria had told me she would be out for the afternoon, and I figured my sister and I had plenty of time to have one wild time. I picked her up and carried her into the bedroom.
"Oooohh, such a big bed," she sighed. "You and Gloria must have a lot of fun together...."
"Yeh, sure. Get undressed."
She took her clothes off, and that fabulous cock-teasing body was in front of me again. I buried my face in the plush softness of her tits, sucking a nipple into my mouth.
"Ohhh, Jimmy, it's been so long!" she moaned. "Ummmm, suck 'em, lover. Suck 'em for me. I love it. Love it...."
I slid my tongue over her nipples, sucking first one, then the other, into my mouth. She was squirming and jerking against me, and my cock was iron-hard. It suddenly occurred to me that I wanted to screw her very badly.
"Get on the bed and open your legs," I ordered. "I've been waiting a long time for this...."
She did as I said, and I sank into that soft womanflesh. Her cunt gathered me up like the sea, and we fucked hard, our bodies jerking spasmodically.
"Yehhhh, baby!" I shouted. "Gonna come now! Come now! Now! Now! Nowwwwwww!"
She joined me, and we lost our minds together. It was glorious, a fabulous experience, just as good as it had always been. I pounded it into her, and she took every thrust, pistoning her hips up at me. And when we were done, I went down and ate her pussy, sucking her slit hard.
"Wow! Ohhhhhh!" she moaned. "Jimmy! Eeeeeeeeee! Jimmy! Ooooohhh, you're driving me crazy! Ahhhhhh!"
Man, I mean to tell you that I sucked that bitch's pussy as if my life depended on it. And when she couldn't take any more, I got on top of her and fucked her again. The fact that I couldn't fuck her into infinity annoyed me, and I took it out on her. I drove hard, and she grunted with each thrust.
When Gloria screamed, I thought my soul would die. I couldn't stop fucking Joy, and as I came, I listened to her laugh, her high-pitched cackle. She must've been watching Gloria's trauma, loving every moment of it. There she was, screwing with her brother while his wife stood horrified, gaping at them.
Well, to make it short, Gloria tried to kill herself. She slashed her wrists, and I drove her to the emergency room of the hospital. Her parents came for her, and naturally I agreed to give her a divorce.
After we had split, I took a trip to Europe. But I was lonely. I tried to get Joy out of my mind. It didn't happen. I went home, and she was waiting for me. We met several times, and then I realized that if I was ever going to live a normal life, I had to be rid of her. But I couldn't manage that by myself. So I came to you. A friend had recommended you, and I figured I had nothing to lose.
REMARKS: Jim's story is most depressing, but I believe that he can be helped. He seems willing to work hard in therapy, and his honesty will do him well. He is ready to confront his strong doubts concerning his masculinity, and we will attempt to unravel his confused emotions. He is working steadily, trying to rebuild his life. He refuses to see his sister. I have informed her of his situation, and she has agreed to stop seeing him. Under these circumstances, Jim should make fine progress.
CHAPTER TWO
PATIENT: Amy F., thirty-six, housewife.
REMARKS: An attractive woman with a full-bodied figure, Amy was at first reluctant to divulge the details of her life. But with some prodding, she waded into her story. Her third session with me has been transcribed and follows.
AMY: I feel very odd lying here telling you all about myself. It's embarrassing. I've led a very secretive life, and I feel as though I'm in danger spewing out all the sordid details. But I suppose it's the only way I'm going to get well, so here goes....
I grew up lonely, my mother dying when I was three and my father dead most of his waking hours. He was a mean sonofabitch, and I could barely stand to see him. Luckily, he felt the same way about me. He worked hard, and he seldom spent time at home. We had servants and maids, but even with them around, that big house seemed so empty.
I had a few friends, and I tried to keep the boredom from driving me mad. It was dull, though. My friends were in my boat; their parents ignored them. I spent a lot of time swimming in the pool during the summer, and it was the summer of my nineteenth year that it all started, this business with my brother.
I was still a virgin, and as far as I knew, so was my brother, Tad. He was seventeen, and he was just as shy as I was. He had few dates. Not that he wasn't good-looking. He was very handsome, with a strong, well-developed body. But neither he nor I could get up enough guts to go out and meet people.
One summer day, I climbed out of the pool, dried myself, and went inside the house. I wanted to find Tad, so we could play a game of chess or monopoly to pass a few hours. I called his name a few times, but there was no answer. I thought that strange, since I was sure he was in the house.
Then I remembered that my Aunt Jean was supposed to visit us. Perhaps she had arrived. She was a handsome woman, tall, with a hell of a figure. I guess she was about thirty-five at that time, but she looked twenty-five. I remember strolling with her on the boardwalk and noticing how many young heads she turned.
I checked the sun room but it was empty. Where could they be?
"Tad!" I called, going to the foot of the stairs. "Tad, are you up there?" Again, no answer.
I glanced out front and saw my aunt's car parked in the driveway.
"Ellen, is my aunt upstairs with my brother?" I asked one of the maids.
"Yes ma'am," she said, smiling. "She told us not to bother them...."
How strange....
"Where are they?" I asked.
"In the master's bedroom."
"His bedroom?"
"Yes, ma'am."
She flung me this cute grin, and I wanted to hit her. I didn't know what she was driving at, but I didn't like her tone. I walked up the winding staircase, and my heart started to pound. My body seemed flushed, my feet heavy as I trod up the carpeted stairs.
When I got to my brother's bedroom, I opened the door gently, just a crack, and peered inside.
What I saw knocked my damn eyes out.
Tad was lying on the bed on his back, and my aunt was on top of him, straddling him. They were both nude, and Tad's thick cock was impaled in the woman's pussy. I stood paralyzed, not knowing what to do.
"Ohhhhh, yesssss," I heard Tad hiss. "Ohhhhh, Aunt Jean! That feels so good! You're so hot! It feels like you're on fire! Ummmmm!"
"I am, dear," she giggled. "You don't know what you're doing to me. You're so big! Just a boy, and you've got the equipment of a man-"
"Oooooh, fuck me!" Tad moaned. "Ahhhhhh...."
I watched my aunt work her pussy over my brother's dick, and I began to get hot. I felt ashamed, because what they were doing was wrong. I knew that. But I couldn't stop watching them. What they were doing looked so delicious. I saw Tad's prick, red and swollen, disappear into my aunt's cunt, and I swear I felt as though it were me he was fucking.
"Fuck me," I heard him groan, over and over again as she eased her pussy onto him. "Fuck me, fuck me, fuck meeee...."
I tell you, I couldn't control myself. I knew all about sex, although I'd had no experience whatsoever. But I had read about what they were doing, and I could imagine just how it felt. My aunt's tits were big and juicy-looking, and my brother covered them with each hand and squeezed.
"Mmmmmmm, that's right," she murmured, encouraging him. "Squeeze 'em just like that. And rub your fingers over my nipples. Don't be afraid to be rough. I won't break...."
Tad laughed and jerked his hips upward, burying his dick in her cunt. Their bodies were slick with sweat, and it seemed as though they were nearing orgasm. Their cries filled the room, and I slipped a hand inside my panties and played with my clitoris, rubbing it with the tip of my finger.
Her body convulsed, and she shuddered as Tad powered his dick up into her.
"Come!" she hissed. "Come in me! Now!"
She leaned forward, then lurched back, riding him hard as the come spurted from his dick. I could see his prick, throbbing and glistening with the juice of her pussy, plunge into her vagina, then withdraw, only to again slide into her up to the hilt. His dick was immense, about ten inches long, and I could understand why my aunt was so anxious to hop into bed with him. I wondered how long they had been playing games together.
"Ohhhh, Geezus!" Tad yelped. "Ohhhh, man! Too much! I'm coming. Eeeeeeee...."
They tossed about on that bed like a couple of fish out of water. I couldn't take my eyes off them, and suddenly I was coming, too. I leaned on the door jam and pushed myself higher and higher, staring at them as if they were some kind of celestial vision. Their orgasms subsided, but I hit one after another. The sight of my aunt's lush body on top of my brother's muscular one really turned me on. I had one finger inside my vagina, while another feverishly massaged my clitoris. I guess I got a little carried away, because all of a sudden my aunt snapped her head toward the door.
"What's that?" she gasped. "Who the hell is there?"
I pulled back and tried to get to my room before she found out.
"Amy! Amy, dammit. Come here!" Christ, now I was in for it. I turned and walked toward her. She was still nude, her heavy breasts rising and falling as she breathed. My tits were nearly as big, but my body was slimmer than hers. I glanced down at her cunt, amazed that her pubic hair matched her blonde hair.
"Get inside," she said, closing the door behind us and locking it. "Sis!" Tad gulped.
"So you've been watching us, eh?" my aunt said.
I was too embarrassed to answer.
"Well, did you like what you saw?"
Her tone was softer now, much softer. It was Tad's turn to be embarrassed.
"Aunt Jean," he admonished.
"What's the matter dear?" she asked. "Isn't your sister old enough for this kind of talk? She's older than you...."
Tad didn't have a reply for this, and he sat mute, the sheet pulled over his waist.
My aunt stepped closer to me, her look appraising.
"My, my aren't you the big girl now?" she said. "All grown up and ready for picking."
"I'm old enough," I said.
"Yes, you are, dear. Why don't you get out of that clammy suit? You'll catch your death of cold. Here, let me help you...."
I must admit I didn't try to stop her from unfastening my swim top. The whole scene was so sexy, so I just let her run the show. She undid the snaps, then peeled the top off.
"Ummmmm, well aren't you the little vixen?" she laughed, staring at my tits. "You certainly are well developed, honey."
I looked over at Tad, who turned away. I began to feel more confident, more at ease with my own sexuality.
[NOTE: Living without a mother and subject to the cruel coldness of her father, Amy is easy prey for the whims of her aunt. The girl is afraid of men, but in the company of an older woman, her impulses bubble to the surface. Her brother poses no threat to her, and she is eager to find out what her aunt is planning for the three of them. Amy believes that sexual contact will help clear some of the confusion in her life, and under normal circumstances, this might be true. But if the present situation is developed further, her confusion will only be multiplied.]
"What's the matter, Tad?" Jean said, noticing my brother's frown. "Are you afraid of your sister? She's just a woman, like me. Except that perhaps she's more beautiful, more desirable...."
No response from baby brother.
"He's such a child," Jean murmured, lifting a hand to cup one of my breasts. "He doesn't know how women feel. He doesn't understand our tenderness...."
The blood was rushing through my veins, and as she caressed my tit, her fingers closing over the soft flesh, I felt my knees weaken. I was terribly excited, but my excitement was mixed with confusion. Why was I reacting to a woman, my aunt, like this? And why was I so attracted to my own brother?
"And your soft, furry pussy," my aunt whispered, dropping her other hand to my cunt. "It's so warm, so inviting...."
Her tone was sing-song, and it mesmerized me. I felt her middle finger slip into my vagina, and I spread my legs, whimpering like a puppy as she fingerfucked me.
"You're so sweet, Amy," she whispered, nuzzling my neck, her lips biting at the flesh. "So sweet...."
I moved closer to her, and our bodies pressed together. She groaned, her belly sliding against mine, and our gasps seemed incredibly loud. I glanced at Tad and saw him sitting with his dick in his hand, pumping the taut skin over the shaft.
"You want him, don't you?" my aunt said. "You want him to do to you what he did to me, don't you?"
"Yes, oh God, yes!"
"Well then, go over to him and take what you want. Don't be afraid. I'll be with you. I know you're a virgin. Don't worry about being hurt. It will hurt a little, but you know about that. Just go to him...."
I felt as though I'd been drugged, and as I turned, Aunt Jean slipped her hands inside my panties and eased them down my legs. I stepped out of them and started toward my brother. He sat gawking at me like he'd never seen a woman before in his life. I looked at the tip of his dick, the red, swollen head of it, and as I swayed toward him I knew that I was going to make him give me all I wanted.
"Oh, Sis," he groaned, his gaze drifting over my figure. "Geezus...."
It excited me to know that I was attractive to him. I could see the lust in his eyes, could see him almost twitch with anticipation. I felt mature, older, and when I climbed onto the bed, he pulled me against him and kissed me hard.
"I've wanted you for so long," he murmured. "You're so sexy. So beautiful...."
I ate it up.
"Tell me more," I giggled. "Tell me how bad you want me. Tell me that the whole time you were fucking Aunt Jean, you thought about me. Tell me how bad you want it from me...."
My speech must've shocked him, but he did as I said. And the whole time, he was kissing me, kissing me all over. His lips seemed like hot coals, and I writhed on the bed, twisting and squirming as his tongue danced along my skin. Lord, but I was hot! I had gone too long without sex, and now all my needs were boiling up, screaming for satisfaction. He was my brother, but that made it even better. He loved me.
"Kiss her," I heard my aunt say. "Kiss her there...."
He spread my legs and buried his face in my cunt, and I knew that he and my aunt had been lovers for some time. All the better. He knew a lot of things that I could learn.
"Yesssss," I moaned. "Ooooohhh, Tad! It feels so marvelous! Ummmmmmm!"
I wriggled my ass, pushing my cunt into his face. His tongue worked its way into my vagina, and I arched my back, wanting to feel the whole of it in me. I came, my body shuddering, as if I was in pain.
"Don't stop!" I begged "Please don't stop...."
"He won't," my aunt said huskily, leaning over me. "He'll do just what you tell him. He's a good boy."
And then her lips came down on mine, her tongue wriggling between my teeth. I gasped, but she pushed against my mouth, and then it felt wonderful. I slid my arms around her neck and returned her kiss as my brother burrowed into my pussy. I imagined his face, slick with pussy juice, and the thought turned me on even more, and I came again. I had come twice in a matter of moments! It was like a dream, some fantasy jolted into reality.
"I want you!" I heard Tad grunt. "Wanna fuck you! Amy, let me get it in you...."
Jean pulled away and grabbed him by the neck.
"Not yet," she snapped, pushing him back between my thighs. "Eat her some more. That's it. Suck her clitoris, like I showed you. See there, that fold of flesh? Use your tongue, find her clit and work it between your lips...."
He found it.
I felt as though I would faint. I had masturbated ever since I was a kid, and that clitoris had known the touch of my own finger for years. But to feel his lips on it, his tongue caressing the tip ... well, that was out of this world. My hips began to move of their own accord, and the ceiling seemed to drift into the sky. That boy had me on fire, and when Jean lowered her mouth onto one of my tits, I went off like a string of firecrackers.
"Ohhhhh, God!" I moaned. "Ooooooohhh! Ooooooooohhhhh! Yesssssss...."
Jean laughed and pulled away. Her eyes were bright, her hair disheveled, falling about her face. She crawled under my brother, and it was a comical sight, him sucking my clit while she worked his prick into her mouth. I lay watching them, closing my eyes tight whenever Tad's lips caused me to lose control. We sucked and nibbled like animals, and I thought I'd never get enough.
And then I wanted my brother's cock in me like I'd never wanted anything in my life. I'd have killed my aunt, strangled her if she interfered. I felt like a demon, or should I say demoness. At any rate, I wanted Tad on top of me, his prick imbedded in my cunt. I wanted to drive my hips against him and feel the entire, hot length of him plunge into my pussy. I wanted to fuck until I passed out.
"Tad!" I gasped. "Get up here and put it in! Tad, for God's sake! Fuck me! Pleeeeeease!"
He pulled away from Jean and groped for the lips of my vagina. He jabbed once, then again, missing both times. I almost wanted to laugh at his eager clumsiness. I reached down and took his dick, positioning it, then jerking my hips. The tip of his prick went into me, and I wrapped my arms about his back and pulled him into me. He slid in easily, filling me, his cock enormous in my cunt. Surprisingly, there was only a twinge of pain. I had expected it to be torture, but the cunnilingus had lubricated my vaginal walls and my hymen broke with a minimum of pain.
"Ohhh, yehhhh!" he grunted. "Ohh, man! You're so tight. But it feels so goooood!"
He pumped it into me, and I was in my glory. I can't tell you how ecstatic I felt. It was as if nineteen years of frustration were wiped out in one moment. I felt his dick, strong, hard, and I clamped my legs around his back and hugged him close to me.
"Yehhh!" he gasped. "Lemme suck your tits while I do it. Ummmm...."
He had one deep in his mouth, and I saw stars. I rocked from side to side, pulled my pussy out to the end of his dick, then sank onto it, hard. He grunted, his breath coming quick. I looked at his face, twisted with hunger, the fucking motion of our bodies making him grimace with pleasure. We rutted like animals, and when we had both had enough, had reached the breaking point, we came, a long, excruciating orgasm that rattled our minds.
"Looks like the start of something new," Jean smiled when we finished. "Might be," Tad said.
His voice seemed deeper, more confident, and immediately my aunt looked ill at ease.
"C'mon," she purred, sliding against him. "Let's you and me do it now...."
"No. I don't-"
"I'll show you some things you've never dreamed of," she continued.
"Later," he said, unwrapping her arms from his neck. "I feel pooped."
"Much later," I added. "When he's ready, I want him again. And he will be ready for me soon, won't he?"
I leaned over and kissed him, letting my tongue slide along his lips. He pulled me close, his hand sliding between my thighs. Come was still dripping from my pussy, and the smell of it was strong. It was an intoxicating odor. I opened my legs, and he fingered my pussy, playing with it as we drew out the kiss. I flicked a look at Aunt Jean. She looked pitiful, standing there with her thirty-ish tits, her belly protruding.
"Leave us alone," I said to her.
She looked at Tad, imploringly, but he just met her gaze steadily, without a hint of disagreement with me.
"All right," she muttered, grabbing something to pull around her. "All right...."
She hustled out of the room, and I sank back on the soft bed.
"Ain't it great?" Tad said. "Marvelous...."
I kissed his chest, nibbling at his nipples. They grew hard between my lips, and when I bit them, Tad winced. But he didn't pull away. He liked the way his sister made love to him. And make love we did. All afternoon long. We fucked for hours, and when we finished, Tad's dick looked like a dishrag.
"Man, I'm beat," he moaned. "Don't know whether I'll be ready for more of this tomorrow or not...."
"You better be, 'cause I'm coming after you, ready or not. That's the way it'll be. You turned me on, now you just try to turn me off."
"You may have to find another man...."
"Nothin' doin'. You're my man...."
[NOTE: At this point, Amy indicates that she will not conceive of having sex with any other man but her brother. Before she had relations with him, she was shy and afraid of sex, fearful that she might prove frigid. With him, she has discovered her true responsiveness. She does not want to test this responsiveness with another man, for it might prove to be a sham. She is dependent upon her brother not only for sexual gratification, but in a large part, for her identity.]
Well, Tad and I became lovers, and we slept together often for over a year. We didn't worry about Aunt Jean. By exposing us, she had a lot to lose, and she knew it. Besides, we brought her into the fun every once in a while, just for a change. Tad dug her, but not as much as he dug me. I liked the way she ate my pussy while I sucked Tad's prick. I felt like a queen when she was down there between my legs, and sucking Tad's dick into my mouth gave me indescribable pleasure. I'd go all the way with him, too, swallowing every last drop of that delicious come.
"Ohhhhh, Sis!" he'd gasp. "Suck it! Suck it for your baby brother!"
That kind of talk drove me wild. I sucked him until he was dry. You know, a lot of girls suck a guy, but they don't swallow his stuff. That's bad, because you deny him the total experience he wants. And I want to tell you that I really did like the taste of his come. It was so hot and sticky, and although that big prick of his nearly made me gag sometimes, I'd gulp his sperm like it was grapefruit juice.
We were happy, so happy, for a year.
And then Tad was killed. He was out driving his motorcycle, the one father bought him. It was a very fast bike, and he lost control of it on a turn. It skidded into a ditch, and Tad was thrown into some rocks. His head split open, and hebled to death before anyone found him.
I was so shaken, I nearly wound up in a mental institution. I didn't want to live, it was as simple as that. I hadn't lived for nineteen years, until I became my brother's mistress. Now that he was gone, I figured I was right back where I started-alone.
But they put me under medical supervision, and I took pills whenever I got upset. I began to go out, on dates. And I married. Some silly boob I didn't care about at all. He was an accountant, and he worked hard and came home late, which was fine with me. He was a lousy lover.
But I learned to live without the kind of gratification Tad had given me.
Until my oldest son became sixteen.
Suddenly, I was like a teen-ager again, all full of wild impulses and passions. And I knew the object of my desires; it was my own son. He was gorgeous, a real stud. I know it sounds terrible to hear a woman talk this way about her boy, but that's the way I felt.
I had come to hate my husband, and I found myself transferring the remnants of my affection to my son.
And my affections were uncontrollably sexual.
Finally, it happened. Gary, my son, called me into his bedroom to kiss me goodnight. It was something that we did every night since he was a child. I guess he was kind of old for it, but he liked it and so did I. It made us feel together, loved.
But this night, as I bent over to kiss him, I felt his hands reach up and cup my tits. One even went inside my nightgown. I was so shocked, I didn't know what to say or do. So I went ahead and kissed him.
Another surprise! His tongue snuck between my lips and into my mouth.
I sat down on the edge of the bed and looked at him. He tried to pretend that nothing had happened, but I fixed him with a steady gaze. .
"Gary, do you know what you just did?"
"What, Mom?"
He seemed so angelic, I had difficulty concentrating on my thoughts. I felt flustered, confused.
"With your hands," I said, my voice dry. "And your tongue. The way you kissed me."
"Oh, that."
"Yes, that...."
"I'm sorry, Mom. I didn't mean to do anything wrong...."
That shook me up. I got up and went into the kitchen and poured myself a big drink. I downed half of it, then thought about his words.
I didn't mean to do anything wrong....
All sorts of visions of my own childhood, when everything I did was considered wrong by my father, flashed across my mind. I didn't know what was right or wrong, and suddenly I didn't care. Who was that boy in there? Was he my son, or was he my husband's child?
And then the excitement surged through me. He would be exactly what I wanted him to be, just as my brother had. I would be the kind of mother that every boy wants, so that he would never suffer, never want for anything.
I walked back into his bedroom, easing onto the bed. He just looked at me, not knowing what to think.
"Do you like me?" I asked him.
"Like you, Mom?"
"Yes, as a woman...."
"Well, yes ... I think you're, uh, very sexy. I mean-"
"Yes, I know what you mean." And then I opened the front of my nightgown, my tits spilling out almost in his face. His eyes widened, and I took both his hands and put them on my breasts.
"It's all right," I whispered when he tried to draw them away. "Don't you want to play with your mother's tits?"
His answer was to close his fingers over my flesh, squeezing and kneading, growing bolder by the moment. An electric current seemed to course through me, and I leaned forward and stuffed one of my tits into his mouth.
"Ohhhh, Mom!" he gasped. "Oh, golly...." His speech amused me, so full of innocence and exuberance. I slipped my hands behind his head and cradled him in my lap, working my tit between his lips as he suckled like a newborn babe. But he was no baby, and when I reached between his legs, I found a dick that was as stiff as a board.
"Ummmm, you're nice and big for me," I murmured, the words just tumbling out of my mouth as if I had given no thought to them. "So hard, and big...."
I slid my hand over his cock, a slow, steady movement that had him groaning like a stud needing a mare. His breath came fast against my skin, and I couldn't tell whether he was paying more attention to the tit that was in his mouth or the hand that was wrapped around his dick.
We kept it up for several minutes, enjoying that delicious feeling of forbidden sex. As least, I realized the taboo aspects of it all. I imagine he did, too.
"Oh, Mom, I'm so hot," he said. "I feel like I'm gonna come-"
I dug his language. Obviously, he had been schooled in the rudiments, the terminology of sex. I wondered where he picked his knowledge up.
"Gary," I said softly. "Have you ever done it with a girl?"
"No. Never...." That was all I needed.
I stood up and slipped out of the negligee. I put my hands on my hips and turned slowly, giving him a good view of my body from every angle.
"You like?" I teased.
I wanted to exhibit myself for him. I wanted to see him ogling me, wanted to imagine his mouth watering over my body. It felt so strange, and I remembered that long ago I had felt the same way with my younger brother. With Tad, my body was something beautiful, something I could be proud of. I hadn't felt that sensation in years, but now it was revisited, and I liked it very much. I felt alive, vibrant.
"You're ... gorgeous," Gary said. "Really gorgeous...."
I could hear the pleading tone of his voice, imploring me to come to him and make all of those lonely sex dreams take form, unravel in reality.
"What do you want to do to me?" I said to him as I peeled my panties off my hips.
That question startled me. I suppose I wanted to hear him say it, hear him call a spade a spade, so that I wouldn't feel guilty about what was going to happen.
"I want ... I want to fuck you."
Wow! I pulled those panties off and kicked them aside. Then I drew the sheet down, and he hustled out of his pajamas. His prick was small, about six inches long. But it looked beautiful to me, swollen and bulging, the veins throbbing and lacing the shaft.
"Lovely," I murmured, kneeling on the bed, my head descending toward his prick. "Lovely...."
I sucked it into my mouth, and he groaned, his head twisting back on the pillow. His body slumped deeper into the bed, and he lifted his hips, his body twitching and driving his cock deeper into my mouth. I came, and I came again as I sucked him. I couldn't get enough of that cock. I remembered sucking my brother's prick, and although I had committed fellatio on my husband and other men, I didn't receive the same thrill as when I eased my lips over my own son's bloated dick. And I mean it was bloated. It seemed as though his prick would burst.
And finally I could stand it no longer.
"Fuck me!" I rasped. "Get on me and fuck me. Come on, Gary. I want you so bad!"
He clambered atop me, breath rushing into his lungs as if he were suffocating. I grabbed his prick and eased it into my pussy. I wanted to be hard, rough with him, but I tried to act gentle. It was difficult, because never in my life had I known such desire, such passion.
"There!" I said, lunging up at him. "Ummmmmm...."
His prick was all the way in me, and his body was jerking and squirming against me. I dug my fingernails into his buttocks, bringing my knees up to his sides as we fucked.
"Ahhhhhh, wow!" he yelped. "Fantastic! Oh, God! I'm gonna come! Can't help it! Gonna-"
He unloaded, and I arched my back, worming my pussy over his dick, trying to drive him out of his mind. When I felt the first spurts enter my vagina, I went off my nut. It seemed as if someone had applied a flame to me and I had ignited. I was burning, spinning crazily through some blasted air, my mind reeling, sliding.
"Uhhhhhhh, gaahhhhhh!" Gary moaned. "Eeeeeeee...."
Even when his orgasm neared its end, just a few drops dribbling into my cunt, his body continued to twitch spasmodically. I hugged him close, sucking at his withering cock with the lips of my cunt. Every time I'd flex those muscles, he'd wince, his body stiffening.
"Geezus," he gasped. "I feel like I'm never gonna stop comin'...."
"Stick with me kid and you won't," I laughed.
He shoved his face in my tits and slid his tongue along the slick skin.
"You're so soft, Mommy," he gurgled. "I love the feel of you, of your flesh....
"You sound as if you've had much more experience than you own up to," I said. "Really, now. Was I your first?"
"Oh, yes. I was just saying those things to please you. I wanted to make love to you...."
How sweet....
"Do you want to do it again?" I asked him. "Again?"
"Sure. Now don't tell me you're not capable. I'll bet you've masturbated a half-dozen times in a day, just thinking about lying in bed with a woman."
"Yes, but-"
"Lie on your back. I'll get it up for you. Don't worry about a thing. Mommy is here...."
I pushed him off me, and when he was flat on his back, I took his deflated dick in my mouth again and sucked hard. You'd think he imagined I was gonna take it off him. He yelled and grabbed at my head, but I wouldn't let him pull me off my lovely prize. I ignored his tugging hands, letting my tongue loll around his rubbery penis.
"Ummmm, eeeehhhhh, ahhhhhhhh."
I knew by those sounds that he was beginning to enjoy himself. I sucked him for a few minutes, lifting his ass to shoot my tongue into his anus. His dick got hard in a jiffy then, and when he got up to find a better place for it, I knelt in front of him.
"Put it in from the rear," I said. "Just move forward, and I'll do it for you."
"No, I'll do it," he said firmly.
Well, a man of his own mind. I let him fumble around, and within a few moments he had found the mother lode and drilled his dick in clean.
Well, by the time we finished we had experimented widely. He took me from behind, with me on top of him, with me leaning against his desk. Honey, we ran the whole gamut, and I loved it.
But that feeling didn't last. I began to have trouble sleeping at night. Guilt plagued me, and I couldn't push all those bad feelings away. They crept in on little cat feet and tortured me. After a few months, I was so unhappy I was ready to die.
So I tried to kill myself. I took the coward's way out-pills. I don't know why they didn't do the job. I took a half bottle of libriums. I guess I should have refilled the prescription and done a thorough job of it.
REMARKS: Amy's last remark seems extremely pessimistic, but I don't believe she actually means what she says. Her will to live is stronger than she will acknowledge. Indeed, it is the basis of her therapy. If she had no real desire to lead a healthy life, she would never go to such pains to detail her experiences to me and to attempt an explanation of her motives. Her insights are good, and I expect to continue treating her.
CHAPTER THREE
PATIENT: George F., seventeen, student.
REMARKS: A very bright boy, George had no fears of spewing out his story to me. He seemed extraordinarily eager to verbalize his troubles, and his speech was compelling and intriguing. I taped his first session, and a transcript of it follows.
GEORGE: You can see right away that I'm a skinny kid. I've always been skinny. Can't remember a moment in my life when I wasn't slightly emaciated. Ah yes! One morning when I was nine I woke up and thought I was fat, which would have meant that I gained sixty pounds in my sleep. But when I looked in the mirror, I saw the same old bones, winking at me, as if it was some kind of burlesque. So I brushed my teeth.
What I'm getting at with all this gibberish is that I've always suffered from a monumental inferiority complex. I always thought I was the worst person in the world. Not the next-to-worst, or even toward the middle of the deck. I figured I was the universal loser. My pimples seemed more bulbous than any other kid's, and my coordination approximated that of a giraffe with a brain infection. I was terrible.
My hang-up right now is, I still feel terrible.
That's terrible, isn't it?
Well, when I was sixteen, which wasn't long ago, come to think of it, I got into a mess with my sisters. My sisters are very groovy, especially Virginia, who's twenty-three and goes to college. My other sisters are Elaine, twenty, and Michelle, who's eighteen. My mother worked very hard there for a spell. She gave up after me.
I don't want to talk about my parents. At least not in this session. Suffice it to say that they are amoebas. Perhaps if you squashed them on a microscope slide and took a look you might find some semblance of life. Otherwise, they're deadwood. When they sit in the living room, watching television, they seem the figments of some insane interior decorator's imagination. They appear to be part of the furniture. Early American Humans.
But my sisters, they're somethin' else.
[NOTE: All the children in George's family seem to have suffered a lack of love. Their parents were obviously unresponsive to their needs, and George's comments about them, paired with another psychiatric report I have obtained, confirms that they simply ignored the emotional life of their offspring once the children reached puberty.]
Lemme tell you about Virginia first. She's the oldest one, the one that goes to college. That's a big thing in our middle-class morass of a neighborhood, going to college. If you go to college, you will be happy in life! College injects lasting euphoria into your soul, and if you are ever sad after having grasped the sheepskin from the pudgy hand of some university president, well, it's your own fault. There's something wrong with you!
Anyway, Virginia is a beautiful, juicy, sex-packed lady who happens to be my sister. She made it very clear to me about a year ago that in her mind she bore no real relation to me. I simply inhabited the house with her. However, she also made it clear to me that she liked me.
I was happy about that.
Because, you see, I liked her.
You might say I was crazy about her. I know that it ain't nice to talk about your sister like this, but you told me you wanted my true feelings.
Well, truly, I was crazy about her body.
She had this body, see, and it did things to me. It made my cock hop around like it had a mind of its own. The damn thing would do cartwheels in my pants when I saw Virginia in a bikini, which she was very fond of wearing. Or if I saw her going out on a heavy date with some stud, and she'd ask me to zip up her dress, which consisted mainly of a zipper.
Virginia made no bones about giving everyone a good panorama of her body. In fact, she did not seem to have any bones at all. Her body appeared to be constructed of muscle, flesh, and skin, all blended together by the devil to drive any creature wearing a penis mad!
Okay, so that's what I thought of my sister.
Our relationship came to a head one night when some fool stood her up. I couldn't believe it. She sat watching television until he was an hour late, then an hour and a half. Finally, having received no telephone call or anything, she got up and wandered to her room.
My mother just snickered, like the idiot she was. Why she considered such an incident humorous, I don't know. Maybe she was jealous. The old man was a little weather-beaten, and I don't think he managed to send her to the stars on a mattress or anything like that. He was pretty sexless. But he was clean. I used to catch him washing his dick in the bathroom sink. One day I caught him using a piece of steel wool on it, I swear. He must've figured he needed a little heavy-duty elbow grease.
"Oh, hi Georgie," he said when he looked up and saw me.
"How come the steel wool?" I said.
"There, uh, was something on it, my organ," he said. "A speck or something. I couldn't get it out...."
I let it go at that. Funny, but I felt closer to my old man while he was steel wooling his dick than at any other time in my life. Weird....
As I was saying, Virginia was up in her room trying to cool off after this jerk failed to show. So I went upstairs, wondering whether I might console her. That's not altogether true, I suppose. I guess I wanted to stay as close to those lush contours of hers as I could. Never know what might happen....
"Sis?"
"George? Come in. The door's open...."
I always dug the fact that my sisters always called me George. None of that infantile Georgie crap. George. It has a strong sound to it, don'tcha think?
When I went in, she was sitting at her dresser, with just a slip on. Her back was toward me, and she looked me in the eye and smiled. That wasn't too unusual. After all, she was my sister.
Then I noticed the funny smell in the room.
"It's incense," she said upon my query.
"Incense?"
A good question. I didn't know what incense was. I was very stupid in many ways last year. I'm smarter now.
"Yes," she said, turning. "And this is marijuana."
"Marijuana?"
Like I said, I was stupid.
"Marijuana," she repeated for the class. "Pot. Grass. Mary Jane. Cannabis."
"Oh."
Man, I could see the deep cleft between her tits and I wasn't hardly worrying about any such thing as marijuana. I was preoccupied. "Want some?"
I wondered to what she was referring. "You mean...."
"Here," she said, offering me what looked like half a cigarette.
I took it and sucked a drag. The smoke was acrid, and it seemed to nip at my lungs.
"Hold it down," she said. "And for God's sake, close the fucking door."
I had never heard my sister use such language. Little did I know that her words were pushed forth by that ugly dragon, the marijuana high.
I smoked the rest of the reefer, and she rolled another one, a feat which astounded me. She looked like some mod cowgirl, rolling herself a smoke out in the wide open spaces.
"Smoke this one with me too," she said. "Come over here on the bed."
I did, and within several minutes I was floating along in my first high.
"Ain't it great?" she giggled.
And then I started giggling. I couldn't stop. And that triggered her, and the two of us were rolling around on the bed, trying to keep from guffawing out loud so our parents would hear. We were busting a gut, rolling around together, and then she was kissing me. Hard.
I didn't withdraw. On the contrary, I shoved my tongue in her mouth and searched for hers, which I found.
She pulled away, breathless. "Wow," she said softly. "C'mon. Let's play...."
That seemed like a fine idea at that time, and the next thing I knew, her slip was off and her bra was dangling by a thread. I reached for it, and it fell off. My eyes nearly fell out. Her tits were luscious, full and tipped with large, brown, leathery nipples. I didn't realize they were leathery until I had one in my mouth. That came about like this:
"Didn't expect this, did you?" she smiled at me after I had gallantly removed her bra.
"Well, uh...."
"Now what do you expect?"
"I, uh...."
"C'mere, Georgie."
I came. She took my head and pushed it between her breasts. At that point I decided to take matters into my own hands, moving my mouth to the afore mentioned leathery nipple, which I found was indeed leathery. Not to mention delicious.
"Ummmmm, that's nice. Oooooh, isn't this awful?" she giggled.
My answer to that was no. I thought it was pretty groovy, myself. I liked it. I hoped she did too.
"Ohhhh, Georgie. You don't know what you're doing to me."
She leaned backwards, pulling me with her, mouth on tit. I dug then that she enjoyed my sucking her tit as much as I did sucking it. Is that clear? Sometimes I don't talk so good, Doc. So anytime you don't understand something, just ask. Don't be afraid to raise your hand.
"Oh, God, Georgie!" she gasped. "I'm getting so hot. Ohhhh, I can't stand this...."
We tossed and turned a bit, like a couple of horny insomniacs, and finally I found my dick out in the air and her panties off. That could mean only one thing: fuck!
We did that. She guided my dick into her, with me thinking about our parents sitting downstairs. It wouldn't have been too bad if my parents were down there along with her parents, two sets of parents.
But there was only one set, and they belonged to each of us. That makes things a whole lot more ... involved.
I didn't waste much time cerebrating on the topic, though. It just sort of passed across my mind, like a candy bar in front of a kid's eyes.
"Ummmmm, it's good," she moaned, and I concurred.
The heels of her feet climbed up my back as if she were shinnying a flagpole. I told you I was skinny....
"Nice and slow," she whined. "Fuck me nice and slow. That's how I like it."
Well, I like to please, and she was my sister. So I fucked her as if she had a cunt of cut glass. But finally I couldn't take it any longer, and I began pounding it into her, just letting my hips and legs do all the work. I was really ramming her, and she bubbled over, babbling like a chick en about the feel of my dick in her and things like that.
I didn't pay much attention to her.
I was raving about the feel of her cunt around my dick, things like that.
It was a genuine Fourth-of-July fuck, with fireworks and explosions and all the rest.
When we were finished, she rolled another joint, explaining that she was a pothead and liked to stay high most of the night. But she never smoked during the day....
"Virginia? Ginny? Hello...."
That voice belonged to my kid sister, Michelle, who was eighteen, if you'll remember.
"Hi!" said Virginia as Michelle walked into the bedroom and saw us sprawled in a compromising position on the bed.
"What's this?" Michelle said.
Michelle and I had much in common at that time. She, also, was very stupid. As a friend of mine who works on a farm might say, she's as sharp as a bowling ball.
"We're fucking," Virginia said, always frank. "Wanna join?"
Michelle did not answer. Michelle turned on her heel and started out of the room, which was in the opposite direction I had hoped she would take.
"I'm gonna tell Mommy and Daddy," Michelle said.
"Michelle!" I said, my voice rather loud and slightly strained.
I bounded after her, my dick flopping like some sort of hamburger appendage. I caught her in the hall and pulled her into my bedroom.
"Listen, don't do that," I said, putting forth my most persuasive argument.
"Why not?" she asked.
For some reason, I was stuck for an answer. But Virginia rallied to my side.
"If you tell," she said, "I'll tell them about that money you took from their bureau drawer."
Michelle looked at her sister as if Virginia had sprouted another head, this one orange.
"You know...?"
"Yes."
She walked over and sat next to Virginia on the bed. "This is terrible," she said.
"Oh, it's not that bad," Virginia soothed. "George, come over here and give your sister a big, fat soul kiss."
I suppose it's now time for me to describe my sister Michelle. She's short, about five-four, but like Virginia, she's well constructed. Her ass is wider, her tits fuller. Virginia's hair is blond and close cropped; Michelle's is long and black, coal-black, sin-black.
Before Michelle knew what was happening, I pushed her back on the bed and planted a kiss on her. She tried to force me away, but I persisted. I shoved my tongue in her mouth, and she tried to bite it off. She could be an evil child when the mood struck her. I grabbed her wrists and Virginia tore at her clothes.
"Stop!" she screamed. "Or I'll scream...."
"You'll get us all in trouble," Virginia hissed. "You know how our parents are...."
That silenced Michelle. When her tits were free, I buried my face in them, and as I sucked one, then the other, her body began to relax. I took a chance on freeing her arms, and she didn't try to escape. I took two handfuls of tit, pushing them together, then immersing my face in them. She cooed softly and worked her fingers into my hair.
"Ummmmmm," she moaned. "I like that...."
"Oh, Michelle," Virginia teased. "You're such a child. A moment ago you were going to blow the whistle on us."
"Never mind that," Michelle murmured. "Ooooohh, George. It feels so good."
"Isn't he super?" Virginia giggled. "He fucked me good."
Sometimes I wondered whether Virginia was twenty-three or three. I looked up at her. She was staring at us as if we were the late, late show. I expected her to leave the room, but I could see that she entertained no such idea. So I decided to draw her into the action, reasoning that we were not involved in a spectator sport.
"Suck my dick for me, Virginia," I said, not even looking at her.
Michelle's eyes widened, moon-like. It was as if I had told my oldest sister to cut off a tit for me.
But down she went, and down I went. Michelle lay writhing as I peppered her tits, then her belly, with kisses. My legs were draped over the bed as I lay on my stomach, and Virginia was on her knees, laving my dick with that soft tongue of hers.
"Ooooohhhh," Michelle mewed. "Ummmmmm, that makes me feel so ... funny."
I thought that if a few kisses on the belly were funny, what I was about to do would be hysterical.
"Spread your legs, love," I said, and she opened wide.
Her pussy was very hairy, her gash blazing red. She was wet, cunt juice oozing from her slit. I licked at it, cleaning her pussy with my tongue, like some oral vacuum cleaner. She twisted about, tossing from one side to the other. Her movements didn't bother me. Each time I lost contact with her pussy, I concentrated on what Virginia was doing to my cock.
"Suck it, baby," I rasped. "Ohhhh, yehhhhh. Lemme feel it all in that sweet mouth of yours. Ahhhhhh...."
I just felt like muttering any thought that came to mind. For the first time in my life, I was totally uninhibited. If someone had carted in a female orangutan, I think I would have bedded it down.
I felt Virginia bringing me to the edge, so I jerked my prick out of her mouth. I wanted to fuck Michelle. Michelle wanted me to fuck her. A convenient arrangement.
"Ohhh, yes, yes!" she babbled, opening her arms and legs as I crawled atop her. "Fuck me! Get your dick in me. I want it so...."
I knew she was a virgin, so I just powered my cock into her and broke her hymen. She wailed like she'd been mortally wounded, and I clamped my hand over her mouth. She bit me.
"Ohhhh, it hurts!" she whined. "It hurts!"
Virginia, bless her, pushed a towel under us, and it soaked up most of the blood. I was scared shit that my parents would come upstairs to find out what the bawling was about, but, in their fashion, they ignored us. I think I could have demolished the entire second floor of our house as long as I didn't disrupt the color contrast of the TV set. When the show went off, they would have come looking for me with meat cleavers.
"Ohhhh, now it feels better," Michelle moaned as I fucked it into her. "Yesss, much better."
That sort of turned me, and I really banged it into her, wanting to give her her first orgasm. I was fucking her hard when Virginia leans over and kisses her flush on the mouth. And Michelle throws her arms about her sister's neck and returns the kiss! Unbelievable.
I unload, and still they kiss, Michelle's hips pistoning as if designed by General Motors, Virginia grinding her mouth against her sister's.
"I think I'm going to go he down in my grave," I said when we were finished. "I'm dying."
"Oh, you can't leave," Virginia said. "You haven't done it to Elaine."
"Oh, but I can leave," I said, "because my balls feel as though they've been used for fungo practice by the St. Louis Cardinals. I'm through for the day. Find yourself another stud."
"But you're the only one we want," Michelle said.
Well, that sort of inflated my ego, if you know what I mean. So I stayed and did what I could for them. I sucked pussy, and finally I was able to get it up and screw Michelle, then Virginia. When I left them, they were in each other's arm, kissing. I went into the shower and soaped up my dick. I thought of them embracing in the other room, and that excited me. So I jerked off in the shower. My prick felt like a piece of raw meat when I was finished, and I went outside and lay on the grass, enjoying the greenery.
Elaine came home from her date later that night, and when I was asleep in bed, she woke me and climbed under the sheets with me.
"What's this?" I said, as if I didn't know.
"It's me, Elaine."
"Oh," I said, taking her in my arms.
I figured, what the hell, make the most of ye rosebuds while ye may, or something along that order.
I found Elaine to be an incredibly tight fit. In fact, it felt like I was fucking my dick into the opening in the top of a beer can. She actually hurt! And then I realized that she wasn't greased up enough, so I went down on her. I crawled under the sheets, and it was as if I were in a cave eating pussy.
"Mmmmmmm, I'm ready now," I heard her murmur after a few minutes.
That was nice, but I wasn't ready. I loved that cunt of hers. It was beautifully formed, her thighs plush, her clitoris prominent and flushed with blood. Virginia had showed me where the clitoris was, and how important it was that a man work it over to get a girl excited.
"Oh, George, do me now!" she moaned.
She had told me that she wasn't a virgin. She had lost it to some football player in high school, and I knew that I didn't have to think about anything other than screwing her when the time came for me to do just that.
I decided that the time had come.
I moved up her, and she spread those thighs of hers so wide, you'd think there was three of me coming at her. I pushed it in, and it just sank in. She was slick and soft, and we fucked happily.
"Uhhhhhh, do it to me!" she groaned, and I obliged.
I shoved my hands under her ass and screwed it into her carefully, feeling every millimeter of dick easing into that wonderful snatch of hers.
Her moans were low, and she lay on the bed, twisting sensuously, slowly, loving every excruciating thrust. I began to speed matters, gradually increasing the frequency of my bucks. And finally, we were blazing, going on all burners. She was out of her mind, raving like a lunatic, her body jerking and punching out at me, and I fucked her like an animal, trying to glut myself on her.
"Oh, God!" she wailed. "Ohhhhh, gonna come! Gonna cummmmmm! Ahhhhhhh!"
She did just that, and I let fly, and the two of us jumped out of this world and into another, splitting our souls open, our bodies seared, fiery.
"It was so good, George," she murmured, crawling out of bed to tiptoe back to her own room.
"Glad you liked it," I said, feeling flip. "Give my regards to the rest of the brood."
She looked at me and I looked at her and she left. I felt like a sultan. I had taken care of business with three lush girls that day, and the dawn of another day was to break in only a few hours.
Now you can imagine after a few weeks of this that I'm feeling like some stud King Kong, civilized but brutal, animal but vegetable-gentle. So I went looking for other additions to my collection.
To find them I went to an unusual place, unusual in the sense that you usually don't go there to pick up girls.
I went to church.
Actually, I just happened to go there. I'm very unreligious, if that's really a word. To be clear, I don't believe in God. But I like churches, especially when there are no people in them. This Sunday, the place was jammed with sinners, sinners of all ages. And among them was a girl named Valerie, who, of all things, was singing in the choir.
Now, I don't know if you're pious or not, and I'm not sure whether I should talk like I want to talk, but old Valerie looked like a million dollars up there in the choir, those wondrous tits pushing out the front of her robe. I knew her as a slut around the school, and to see her singing psalms blew my mind. I knew she was still shitty. Her face radiated it.
It was as if she were singing, Don't let these robes fool you. I am no vestal virgin, nor was meant to be.
So after I had my hand crushed by Pastor Nixon at the door, I went over and said hello to Valerie. She wouldn't have known me from Abraham if Elaine didn't introduce us. I set a date for Monday night, the next night.
Well, lemme just say that the whole thing was a disaster. I don't feel like going into details, but I couldn't make it with her. I don't know why. I was just uptight.
The whole time I was with her, I kept thinking, Suppose I can't get it up? Suppose we're ready to go, she hot as a bonfire, and my dick is the consistency of cotton candy?
Well, that's what happened. I had her in the back seat of the old man's Olds, and her pants were down, but my prick wasn't up. Very humiliating. I joke about it now, or at least, I speak of it in a jocular matter, which is probably the same thing. But it was no laughing matter then.
In fact, I cried.
Which made her laugh. So I hit her. Which made her cry.
And by the time I got home, my manhood, budding as it was, was in a shambles. I lay on my bed, wondering whether I should open my arteries or gorge myself on iodine. At that point, Michelle came into my room, inquiring about the sobbing sounds that issued from my room
"I don't know if I want to talk about it," I told her. "It's very embarrassing."
"Oh, come on," she said, sliding onto the bed. "You can tell me...."
She wore nothing but a kind of housecoat, open at the front. One of her tits flopped free, like some melon falling off a tree, and she giggled. I grabbed, for it, and she fell back on the bed, struggling with me.
"Lemme suck that tit!" I teased, suddenly forgetting all about Eve, or Valerie, or whatever her name was. "I want that tit! It's mine. Gimme!"
[NOTE: In relying on his sisters not only for a sexual gratification but for his own identity as a young, promising man, George has allowed himself to become cowed by other girls. He does not feel at ease with Valerie, and this inhibits his sexual response to her. He does not realize that a man cannot possibly feel totally relaxed with a woman he has just met and that a couple must see each other often for an intimate, confident bond to develop. When he finds himself impotent with Valerie, he deduces that his manhood is flimsy. When he returns home, the familiarity of his sister allows his sexual impulses to surface unfettered. He can enjoy sex with Michelle, and at this point his dependency on his sisters becomes nearly overpowering.]
We horsed around for a few minutes, her putting up a mock struggle against the mad rapist. But when I got my hand between her legs, my fingers wriggling in her pussy, she gladly gave up her tit to my mouth, along with the rest of her sweet body.
Well, man, that's about it. Except, of course, that three months later my dad found me in bed with his oldest daughter smoking pot and doing dirty things. He blamed me, naturally, and I lived in a kind of concentration camp for a couple months after that. He enjoyed beating me in the interim. I think he always wanted to really whip me, and this gave him an excuse. To tell you the truth, I think he was jealous.
He didn't tell the police or anybody like that. It would have brought too much shame on his house. His humble home. So I went to the school shrink, and he sent me to you.
Man, I gotta do something. I can't keep on like this. It's no way to five.
REMARKS: Most assuredly, George need not continue the kind of life he has been living. I have stressed to him that his condition is a result of circumstances and that those circumstances had as much to do with the emotional state of his parents and sisters as with his own strained mental condition. He has allowed his father to place the stigma on him, but his sense of guilt can be shucked off in therapy. After he accepts what has happened and what he has done, he can begin reconstructing his life, his emotions.
CHAPTER FOUR
PATIENT: Ann B., twenty, unemployed.
REMARKS: Ann is a tall girl with a fine figure. Her face is startlingly beautiful, and she possesses a graceful presence. Her first session with me was taped and is transcribed here.
ANN: I didn't meet my brother, Hal, until two years ago. My parents separated when we were both extremely young, and I had only seen snapshots of him. I stayed with my mother when my father left, taking Hal, who was six then. I was two.
And then, in June of '67, Hal pops up. He was handsome, real dashing, and I was an eighteen-year-old with stars in my eyes and hate in my heart, for my mother.
I had no trouble understanding why my father left her, but he was dead now, and Hal sat in the living room telling me all about him. It seems he was as much a bastard as the old lady was a bitch. As he talked, I felt very close to him. I was no virgin, and I thought I knew what the real scene was between males and females in this gone world.
But Hal made me forget all my bitterness, ignore all the bilious feelings that ate at me inside.
"It's great to be alive and free," he said, and I nodded.
I was by no means free. I was still tied to my mother, but I had plans for changing all that. I was gonna find me a job and make it on my own. I had just graduated from high school, and I was ready to cut loose.
"And you're really lookin' good these days, little sister," he said.
I blushed. Yeh, I actually blushed. It sounded good, coming from him. Guys had been trying to get in my pants since I was an infant, and I had hardened slightly. But Hal made me melt.
When the old lady arrived, Hal left, but he invited me to this party, and I said I'd go with him. I didn't think of him as my brother, or at least, I tried not to.
"Gorgeous, absolutely knockout," he said when he picked me up a couple nights later. "I'm gonna have to fight the studs off to keep you for myself."
I was wearing my most daring dress, a low-cut job that had a very high hemline. My body was fully developed, and I didn't mind exhibiting it. In fact, I enjoyed showing myself off. It was about all I had to show.
[NOTE: Ann's intense loneliness is apparent. She has had sexual contact with boys, but they have been unsatisfying. She has never received any love from her parents, her father being a stranger for the greater part of her life. With his death, her brother arrives, the one member of the family who may be able to love. By her tone, she seems ready to gain this love at any cost.]
"This party is a bit of a weird one," he told me as we drove along. "There are a lot of freaky people, but they're good people. A lot of them hold quite a bit of power in show business. You know by now that that's what I'm interested in, show business. I've got my foot in the door; I'm making private films with another guy. But I want to get big, have a good stake in something. Some of the cats at this party might be able to help me, so treat everybody I introduce you to as a friend. And for God's sake, be real friendly. They don't like people who hang back...."
I didn't understand all of what he said, but I did dig that he wanted me to come on strong, so I decided I'd loosen up and do all I could to help him. Besides, it might be fun.
The party was in the city, at a brownstone owned privately. When we went in, I almost stumbled, it was so dark.
"Hal!" a voice chimed. "Hey, Hal, baby!"
A tall, balding man stumbled toward us, spilling his drink over riimself and anybody in the vicinity.
"Glad you could make it, baby!" he said.
The words seemed funny coming out of his mouth; he was too old for jive talk.
"How're you, Carl?" Hal greeted. "Looks like a great party...."
I couldn't understand how he could tell. I couldn't see a damn thing.
"And who's this lovely young thing?" Carl slurped.
"My sister, man."
The guy eyed me openly, like I was a quarter of beef hanging in a market. I was familiar with the scene.
"Your sister? Since when did you have a sister?"
That last question earmarked him as an intellectual.
"Since she was born, man," Hal said, seeming to put the guy off but not quite. "Ann, this is Carl Eller. He's very big down at Elmont. He's in charge of casting."
I realized that the slob was one of the people Hal wanted me to be nice to, so I stuck out my hand and said hello.
"Very glad to meet you, miss," he said, his phoniness dripping out of his ears. "You know, you look a lot like one of the stars we have under contract. Kitty Davis. You know her?"
"No. Never heard of her."
Hal shot me a disapproving glance, and I backtracked.
"But then again, I don't go to the movies often," I said. "It hurts my eyes."
"Oh?"
He didn't know quite where he stood, and Hai nodded.
"Well, why don't we get acquainted?" I said, offering him my arm, which he grabbed. "Seems like I've a lot to learn about moviemaking...."
Hal smiled, and Carl waltzed me across the room and gave me a drink. I considered declining; booze does funny things to me. But I took it and drank it.
"Hey, here comes the entertainment!" Carl laughed, and I turned to look at this huge, gift-wrapped box they were wheeling out.
The band launched into this low-down number, sexy as hell, and a distinguished-looking man, graying at the sideburns, stepped forward, all smiles, to pull the bow loose.
With that, the lid lifts off and this girl wriggles up wearing next to nothing and grinding her hips like a burlesque queen. Carl sidles next to me, slipping his arm around my waist and leering at me and then the girl and back at me.
"J.B.'s birthday today," he explained. "Everybody chipped in to give him a little present."
It was at that point that the damn drink started to get to me. I couldn't believe it, because I usually start feeling sexy after four or five, not merely one. But I suddenly liked the feel of his hand on my hip, the warmth of his body next to mine.
"Yehhhh, baby! Go!" someone shouted, and the girl danced out of the box and onto the stage, winding herself around J.B., whoever he was.
She was fine, a resurrection of Salome, and the whole joint was panting with every twitch and roll.
"Here's another drink," Carl said, taking my empty glass from me. "Drink up! A toast to us!"
It seemed absurd to make such a toast, but I tipped my glass and guzzled the booze. It tasted very good, unlike any Scotch I had ever drunk. It warmed me, stirred a fire in me that seemed to flicker and grow larger the more I drank and the more I watched Miss Smooth Hips do her stuff.
And then it happened.
The dancer shed her last piece of clothing, a G-string, and J.B. moved forward, staring down at the girl as she lay back on a small couch. Her legs gaped open, and suddenly I realized that the man was going to fuck her in full view of about fifty people.
"Yeh, do it to her!" someone shouted. "Give it to her, the bitch!"
The dancer just grinned, spreading the lips of her vagina with her fingers, her tits jiggling as she waited for J.B., who was shucking off his clothes. Carl's hand went around my waist, then climbed up to cup one of my tits. I liked the feel of his fingers squeezing and kneading. It seemed just what the doctor ordered.
J.B. was nude now, and he moved between the dancer's strong thighs, aiming his dick at her soft cunt. He eased it into her, and her legs snapped around him, drawing him deep into her. They fucked hard, his prick thrusting into her in quick movements.
"Ohhh, Geezus," I moaned, Carl's hand feverishly pulling at my tit. "I'm so damned hot! I can't believe it!"
He laughed and set his drink down. We kissed, and our tongues twined together. I came while we were kissing, and it was then that I began to suspect that something was wrong with me. I knew that I had never felt so sexy in all my life. Certainly no man had ever brought me to an orgasm simply by kissing me. The party was very exciting, very erotic, but it seemed as though I were overreacting. I was too turned on. My pussy felt as though it were afire, and I was intensely attracted to Carl, who was no prize.
But I gave all of this only a fleeting thought. I wanted a man, that was for certain. And Carl could give me what I needed.
I ignored the fact that the room was crowded with people. I dropped my hand to the front of his pants and felt his dick. It was stiff, hard as steel. He gasped and pushed me back on a sofa, which had been abandoned, most of the people having jammed forward to watch the show onstage.
"Yesssss, fuck me!" I gasped, unmindful of what I was doing. "Please fuck me. I need it so bad...."
"Sure, baby," he cackled. "Sure thing...." I pulled my panties down, not bothering to re move my dress, and he yanked his cock out. It looked at the time like the most beautiful prick I had ever seen. It wasn't all that large, but the thickness of it made me wince in anticipation.
"Put it in," I grunted. "C'mon, get it in me....
He moved between my legs, and I grabbed his cock.
"Mmmmmmm," I moaned, sliding it into my cunt. "That's nice. That's just fine...."
My speech amazed me, and for a moment, I saw what a spectacle I was making of myself. I saw several men turn when I began to groan, and then everything but the dick that was pumping into me was forgotten.
"Ohhh, man," Carl gasped. "Oh, man, what a cunt!"
He fucked me hard, just like I wanted. It didn't seem as though I could get enough of him, and when he came, I shot to my third orgasm.
"Lemme get a little of that," another man said as Carl moved off, and I looked up and saw another prick coming at me.
I should have been horrified, repelled. But I reached out and stuffed that one into me, too. This man was smaller than Carl, but his dick, oddly, was larger, much larger, and I let my heels climb up his back, sucking his fat prick into my pussy.
"Yeh, baby, that's beautiful," he groaned, and I kissed him, driving my tongue between his thick lips.
His dick slid through me like a piston, and I hoped that he could control himself better than Carl. I didn't realize that a line of men had formed behind my current stud, and that I had no need to worry about a shortage of lovers.
"Gonna come," I moaned, and another man stepped forward and straddled the couch, fitting his cock between my lips.
I sucked hard, and he came instantly. Then the stud came, and I joined them both. The orgasm was incredibly intense, a rocking, shattering climax that caused my whole body to convulse.
But no sooner had it passed than the hunger returned.
"Come here," I gasped to the next man when the other two had moved off me, laughing. "Hurry...."
They were all around me now, like a bunch of boys at a gang-bang.
"Man, will you get a load of that body," I heard one man say. "Ever seen anything like it?"
"Yeh, in the movies," someone answered, and I felt good, proud of myself.
Can you believe it? I felt proud of myself.
[NOTE: Ann suspects that her drink has been doctored with an aphrodisiac, and the drug has heightened her own intense sexuality to produce the reaction she describes. Her loneliness has fostered a certain sense of exhibitionism, and she actually enjoys displaying herself to the many faceless men who ravage her. What she terms pride is actually a desire to be accepted, praised. She has received few kind words from her mother over the years, and her emotions and desires have become twisted and confused.]
"Who's next?" I remember asking. "Who the hell is next?"
And then I saw my brother, staring down at me.
"C'mon," I moaned. "You brought me here. It was your idea, wasn't it? A little birthday present for J.B."
J.B. had managed to work himself into my schedule. Someone mentioned his name as he got on me, and I opened my eyes and recognized his face.
"You're gorgeous, just like your brother said," he had smiled.
I took him like I took all the rest, and the excitement had built to a fever pitch. I was mad at Hal for setting me up for a gang-bang, but I was hurt, too, terribly hurt. And so I tried to convince myself that he hadn't used me so badly, that I had enjoyed the party, had enjoyed taking on all those men.
"Come on, lover," I cooed now as Hal looked at me. "You're next. I been waiting for you...."
He laughed and moved onto me. I hadn't moved off my back since I'd began fucking, but I sat up and made him lie down, then straddled his dick.
[NOTE: Again, Ann confuses love with sexuality. As she says, she is terribly hurt by Hal's actions. She had trusted him, and he is the last person in the world whom she believed she could not trust. She is unwilling to give up her faith in him, her dependence on him. So she submits to him sexually, hoping that their relationship will continue, that he will love her as she has wanted to be loved all her life. Other men do not appeal to her. She has been hurt by them, and she feels that her brother represents her last chance for happiness. She is caught up in a particularly vicious syndrome.]
"Fuck your little sister," I mewed, and he did.
I guess he figured that I was just another pussy. And that since I was his sister, I was his private stuff, and that excited him more. Not to mention the fact that I was a damned good-looking piece.
"Ummmm, baby, do that!" he said as I revolved my cunt around his dick, twisting it as he fucked it into me.
"Come," I gasped, my voice low. "Go ahead and come. Don't be afraid...."
He had been tense up to that point, his body stiff as he screwed me. But with those words, he unloaded, and I felt an exhilaration I had never experienced.
This is my brother! My brother! I kept thinking, the thought pounding against my brain.
And then the two of us were rutting like pigs, our bellies slapping together wetly as we screwed. I felt several men move closer to us, watching us in fascination. We put on quite a show.
"Yehhhh, sister, go!" one man shouted, and I felt somebody move behind me, and then his hands were on my tits, pulling at them.
I went crazy. I guess I had longed to lose myself some way since I was a child. I wanted to escape the world, wanted to hide somewhere, in a place that nobody could harm me. I found that place: sex.
I fucked Hal three times, and each was as good as the last. When we were through, some men pulled me off him and threw me on the floor. Several of them took me, one of them from behind. I felt a dick push at my ass, and I spread my legs wide.
Why not get it in the ass? I remember thinking, my senses dulled, my brain feeling hot and heavy inside my skull. Why not in the ass, too?
So somebody fucked me in the anus while I sucked another guy's dick. They both came, and I wrenched through a few more orgasms before I collapsed.
"Ann? Ann, you all right?"
I opened my eyes and saw Hal staring down at me with this concerned look on his face. He was dressed, and I was covered with some kind of blanket.
"Sure, I'm peachy," I said. "Where am I?"
"At J.B.'s. Let's get out of here. Everybody's gone. You've been out for hours...."
"Oh yeh?"
"Where's your clothes?" I laughed. For all I knew, some character had taken them home with him as a souvenir.
"Well, then, pull this around you and I'll go get the car."
by the time we got home, I had forgiven him. He said he was sorry he had tricked me, but that he needed the money. He said he figured I wouldn't go through with it if I knew what was going to happen, and he was right there. But he said he thought I'd enjoy it once I got going. Right again....
"Here's your share," he said, and he peeled off three hundred dollars.
"You mean, all this is for me?" I said.
"Yep. They paid me five hundred. You get sixty per cent...."
I found out later that he had short-changed me, that they had paid him a thousand. But I didn't doubt him then. Three hundred dollars, tax free, was a lot of money. It would buy a new coat, a new dress, ten dresses....
"Quite profitable, isn't it?" I said.
"Yeh, baby, and there's more where that came from...."
I wanted to laugh at that line, but I kissed him instead. I was feeling better; I had showered, and I felt clean. Not that the previous night's activities had made me feel dirty. On the contrary, my body seemed to tingle with new life, even before we got home. I wondered whether I was simply a walking pussy, or whether I was a woman, a grown woman with feelings like other women. I guess that was one reason I strung along with Hal, to find out what I was made of.
"We're gonna have a lot of good times together," he murmured in between kisses. "And make a lot of money. We're gonna live high, for a change...."
We were on the bed in my room. My mother was at work, and as Hal's hand crept between my thighs, I began to cry. I couldn't stop crying, and he didn't stop trying to make me. His fingers toyed with my clitoris, and my excitement grew. My tears dried, and he moved his mouth down there and began sucking. His lips moved to my vagina, and he lapped the come as it dripped out.
"Ohhhhh, never had it like this before," I mumbled. "So good! Ohhh, God!"
He pried my thighs far apart and really dug in. I hopped onto cloud nine, and I didn't come down for about a half-hour, until he stopped eating me. My clit was so sensitive, I had to make him stop. He was driving me mad.
"You can quit worrying about finding a job," he said as he went out the door. "And I'll find you a place to stay, an apartment...."
I lay back and thought about him after he left, how marvelously awful he was.
My next job was that Wednesday night, at the home of a musician. The guy was young, about twenty-five, but he was hung up. He couldn't make it with a woman unless he bought one, and he didn't dig cheap women. He also liked them well made, and Hal convinced him that I fit the bill.
"Oh, wow!" the guy exclaimed as I let my coat slide off. "Man, you were right. She's terrific!"
I kind of liked him, too. He was tall, about six-four, and he wore a mustache and long hair that made him look real cute. He came up to me and slipped his arms around my waist.
"Gonna have a good time tonight, honey?" he asked.
For an answer I rubbed my belly over his cock, which had assumed a state of stiffness. I giggled at his boyish anticipation, pecking at his lips with mine. Hal had fed me some more of that aphrodisiac, and I was ready to go.
"Sure thing, honey," I said. "When do we start?"
"She's right in there," he said, pointing to the living room.
She?
"What the hell is this?" I whispered to Hal as we followed the guy, Arnie, through the house.
"I haven't any idea," he said, and I knew he was lying. "Just play along with him. There's three hundred in it for you, and not as much work as the other night...."
Well, I decided what the hell, I might as well go ahead and jump in feet first. What I was doing was hardly dignified, so what did I have to lose? I wasn't going to be hypocritical about the whole thing and assert some kind of superiority. I was a whore, and I figured I might as well act like one.
"Hello," came a soft voice, seeming to drift across the most sumptuous room I'd ever entered.
She got up, and I thought for a moment she had left her dress on the sofa. She was beautiful, tall, like me, with long blond hair and a fabulous body.
"What are you drinking?" Arnie said.
I wanted to laugh. Spanish fly on the rocks seemed to have become my favorite. I was hot as hell, feeling as though a thousand fires were burning inside me. I know that a lot of young people dig drugs, and I had heard many of them needed the stuff to enjoy themselves, especially sexually. But I had never taken the well-known drugs. I was hooked on what Hal called coal, an aphrodisiac that turns a woman into a sexual glutton. I don't know what its generic name is. He gets it for me and gives it to me. I take it.
"Scotch and water," I said, and he mixed the drink.
I sat down next to the bombshell, who introduced herself to me as Maura. As I talked with her, I became more and more interested in her, fascinated, you might say. Her perfume was intoxicating, and her lush breasts seemed ready to spill out of her flimsy dress.
"You're very lovely," she murmured, moving closer.
Her arm slid behind my shoulders, and I felt myself sort of drifting toward her. I couldn't fight the attraction, and as Hal sat across from me smiling dumbly, I let her kiss me.
"Your lips are so soft," she moaned, and I felt her hand move to my thigh.
"I feel so ... light, and tingly," I said.
I didn't know how else to describe my feelings. My reaction to her caught me by surprise, but I didn't fight it. She pulled me closer, and we kissed hard. Hal stopped smiling, his face becoming intent. Arnie came with my drink, but I ignored it.
"Turn the lights down, dear," Maura said to him. "And turn on the music. It's too quiet in here...."
He did as she told him, and as the sounds swirled about my head, she worked her hand up my dress. I parted my legs to give her unobstructed access to my pussy. I wanted her to make love to me. I wanted it bad. Arnie was forgotten, as was my brother. I didn't know what was happening, and I didn't care. All I knew was that Maura seemed to promise a unique kind of fulfillment, and I wanted to experience it.
"Yeh, baby, go to it," I heard Hal say, and his words turned me on even more.
I was on my back now, and Maura was at my side, unfastening my dress. I just lay there, enjoying her attentions. She peeled it off me, then kissed my belly, her tongue wriggling into my navel.
"Ummmmm, that's nice," I cooed. "My pussy. Do that to my pussy."
That was all the encouragement she needed. She pulled my panties off, then shrugged her dress off. Her body was fantastic, absolutely stunning. Her hips were wide, flaring from a narrow waist, and her thighs looked silvery soft and sleek. Her skin was a beautiful texture, and as she slid between my legs, I turned her around so that my head could ease between her thighs.
"Ahhhhh, noooooo," she moaned as I took her clitoris between my teeth.
I was surprised to find that it was swollen, gorged with blood. She was terribly excited, and I came the instant her lips touched my cunt.
"Suck it," Hal grunted. "Go ahead, Sis. Suck her pussy until she begs you to stop...."
He sounded drunk, and I glanced over at him. His dick was out of his pants, and he was jerking his hand over it, staring at us as if we were a heavenly vision.
"Oooooohhh, yesssss," Maura hissed, and I ground my face into her pussy, licking the come as it oozed out of her vagina.
Lord, but she was hot. And the taste of her come really blew my mind. It was so sweet! It tasted like honey, I swear it. And the odor of her pussy was lovely. I had heard men comment that some women's cunts smelled too strong, weren't clean enough. I took pains to wash mine well, so that no man would ever have grounds for complaint. After all, I was in business now. I had to assure customer satisfaction. And Maura's pussy was as fragrant as a flower. Enticing....
"Oh, man, I can't take this," I heard Hal groan, and then he was grunting like a boar.
I pulled my head out of Maura's cunt to look over at my brother, and there he sat, Arnie's mouth on his dick, Arnie kneeling on the floor in front of him. Wow! Hal always had a few surprises for me....
Well, we did it all that night. We exhausted every permutation and combination that two men and two women can concoct.
I sucked Hal while Maura ate me.
Hal fucked Maura while Arnie screwed me in the ass.
Maura sucked Hal while being screwed by Amie, who, it turned out, was her husband!
* * *
You can devise a few other links we formed. We tried them all, and when the men conked out, Maura and I amused ourselves by alternately eating each other.
I'd lay back, spread my legs, and she'd he between them, nibbling, sucking, driving her tongue into me.
It was a fantastic night, and when it was over, I was three hundred dollars richer and satiated.
My partnership with Hal lasted about a year, and then I blew my cork. I guess it all sort of ate away at me inside, turning my mind upside-down until I couldn't think straight.
He did some terrible things to me, forcing me to submit to a sadist who whipped the damn shit out of me. Making me do it with a dog so that this old coot could get his rocks off watching. Demanding that I allow two men to fuck me at the same time, both their cocks in my emit. I had to see a doctor after that one; they almost split me open.
And so one night, I jumped out the damn window of this duplex. It amazes me even now. I had considered suicide, but I had always discarded it as a solution.
But this one night, I jumped. I couldn't live any longer, and I didn't see any other way out.
Now, of course, I realize that therapy is the answer. That's why I'm here. I hope I'm right.
REMARKS: Ann was referred to me by one of the physicians who treated her for her cuts. She has been released in my care, and she will continue to see me in daily sessions. We have much work to do, and she knows this. But she also knows that the rewards she can attain are great-peace and a degree of happiness. She has never known either, and she wants both.
CHAPTER FIVE
PATIENT: John G., forty-two, salesman.
REMARKS: A tall, distinguished-looking man, John was treated by me in conjunction with state psychiatrists. A transcript of his first session with me follows.
JOHN: I'd like to say that my troubles started about a year ago, but of course, that isn't correct. I had always had a bit of a crush on my sister, Deborah, who's thirty-eight now. She's a vixen, a real temptress, and she always exuded that air of sexuality.
I remember when we were young, I'd try to sneak peeks of her in her undergarments or nude. I think she knew this. In fact, a year ago, when I approached her for the first time, she told me that she sensed my interest and that she used to tease me without my realizing it.
I keep mentioning this past year. Well, up until then, nothing ever happened between us. I wanted her, had always lusted after her in the usual brother-sister way, but I had made no approach. I was afraid. I couldn't stand my parents, and I thought they'd punish me badly if they ever caught me fooling around with Deborah. And then, when I was twenty-one, I left home.
[NOTE: At this point, John's relationship with his sister is a normal one. He is attracted to her, but he resists the impulse to approach her sexually. However, his unhappy family situation had generated certain pressures that may surface later in life.]
I got married when I was thirty-two, and we lived eight years of absolute hell. Finally, I couldn't stand it any more, and I got a divorce. My wife was going out on me, and I had no trouble proving adultery.
I moved into an apartment and lived by myself, but after several months, I was desperately lonely. It was then that I looked up Deborah. I knew she had married, and I hadn't seen her in twelve years. I was living in Los Angeles, and I packed my bags and flew east. I found her living in the city, in a big apartment over on Park Avenue, filthy rich.
"But I'm so unhappy," she said to me that first night. "Harold's awful. He cheats on me, he lies to me, he refuses to give me enough money. It's awful...."
Well, we sat sipping our drinks, commiserating. I told her I had lost interest in women, wouldn't lay hands on one for the rest of my life. She seemed to perk up at this.
"Oh, John, that's silly," she said.
She got up and sat on the arm of my chair, and I had a glorious view of those lovely tits of hers, nearly spilling out of her gown. She had taken good care of herself, and she was still a knockout. My dick began to swell, and I didn't know what to do with my hands. I asked for another drink, and she poured me one, then returned to the same spot, perched on the arm chair next to me. She crossed her legs, and her gown fell open, revealing plush thighs, smooth and soft-looking.
Let me tell you, I was sweating. My dick was iron-hard in my pants, and I didn't know whether to be embarrassed or mad at her for teasing me.
"You shouldn't feel that way about women, John," she cooed, sliding her hand into my hair. "Men need women, biologically speaking. You'll ruin your health if you try to live the life of a monk. Don't you agree?"
"Well, uh...."
"Certainly. Now, I have to find you a woman. You're new in town and you don't know anybody. And you don't want just any old whore. You want a good woman, someone who's going to do something for you, if you know what I mean...."
I did. With Deborah, the inference was always sexual.
"Now, what kind of woman do you like?" she said.
Christ! What next?
"Well?"
"Uh...."
"Oh,. John, you always were so shy. Don't be afraid to talk with me. After all, I'm only your sister. And you know that with me, anything goes...."
I think that's called laying it on the table.
I looked up at her, looked past those big tits to those sexy brown eyes, and she gazed down at me, pouring on the steam, and the next thing I knew she was in my lap, her drink op the floor, our mouths glued together.
Lord, what a kiss!
I hadn't had a woman in months. I was serious about not sleeping with another cunt for the rest of my life, but not for the reasons I gave her, that is, my wife's duplicity, and so forth.
Toward the end of my marriage, you see, I became impotent. At least, I thought I was impotent. I know I couldn't make it with my wife, and when I tried it with a whore, I failed too. I'd never had much sexual experience; my wife was the first woman I fucked, and until the incident with the whore, the only woman. So I lacked confidence, to say the least.
And I wasn't going to submit my ego to another trauma by picking up any more women, whores or otherwise.
But like I said, suddenly my sister was in my lap, rubbing that damn ass of hers over my cock, and I didn't give a thought to resisting. Well, not quite.
"Listen," I gasped when we came up for air. "We can't do this. It's wrong...."
"Who says so?" she asked, sliding her tongue between my lips.
"Nearly everybody!"
"The hell with them. You gonna let other people tell you what to do all your life? Aren't you sick of them yet?"
That was a winning volley on her part. I had lost a few jobs in my time because I didn't see eye to eye with my superiors, who invariably were short-sighted oafs.
I was sick of people. She was right. To hell with them....
And so I gave in to her lips, and after we had kissed for a while, she took my hand and put in on her legs, letting her thighs part slightly.
My heart was beating like a triphammer.
The realization hit me that if I went any further with her, I would certainly fuck my sister!
"Go ahead," she murmured, as if she read my thoughts. "Feel me. I'm so hot. It's been so long for me, too. Harold never touches me. He ignores me. Oh, John, please! Just touch me...."
Now, we both knew that if I did that, the situation would be out of control, and when I slipped my hand between her legs and found her wet pussy, the situation went out of control.
She moaned and leaned back, her legs opened wider. I could smell the musky scent of her, and I felt euphoric. Somehow, I knew that I was going to be able to make it with her, that I wouldn't be impotent.
[NOTE: John's prior impotence was self-induced. Reacting to the strain of his disintegrating marriage, he finds that he cannot make love to his wife. An attempt with a prostitute also fails, because he is similarly tense, his body unable to react to his natural impulses. But with his sister, his nerves are at ease and he rediscovers his potency. He knows that his sister will not make upon him the demands of a wife, and so he feels free to engage her sexually. She poses no threat to him. And the thrill of realizing a childhood dream also adds to his excitement.]
"Ohhhhh, John, that's so good," she moaned as I fingered fucked her, my middle finger in her up to the hilt.
She was wet and sticky, a really hot cunt. It felt beautiful, shoving my fingers into her soft, gooey snatch. It had been a long time, a real long time. It seemed as though I were realizing some long-forgotten wet dream, of how it would be to latch on to a really passionate woman. In a way, it was incidental that the woman was my younger sister....
I opened her gown and took out one of her tits. They were firm and spongy, the nipples large. I sucked one into my mouth, her hands snaking around my neck as I teased the tip with my tongue.
"Nice...." she murmured. "Mmmmm...." Her body was writhing, and it seemed as though she were possessed, her passions flaming as if a match had been put to them. She must've gone without a man for a while, I thought then, just like she said.
She got so hot, I couldn't wait any longer, couldn't play with her a moment more.
"C'mon, let's make it," I gasped, and we both crumpled to the floor like a couple of deflating balloons.
I opened her gown all the way and gazed at her lush body. That's the best way for me to describe it, lush. Or maybe ripe. At any rate, it looked great to me. I let my tongue slide along her belly, and she threw her head back and moaned as if she were in pain.
"Ohhh, John, go ahead," she hissed. "Go ahead...."
I hopped out of my clothes as if I were in a contest, then fell on her. She opened her legs wide, and I crammed my dick into her cunt.
Well, you know how it feels to fuck a woman who's on fire, right? It was good, better than it had ever been before in my life.
"Oh, Deborah," I moaned. "You feel so good. You're so damned hot...."
She just grinned and contracted her vaginal muscles, which made my dick feel like somebody had their hand on it. I almost came and told her so. She relaxed and said that she wanted to make it the best ever for me.
"Don't worry about that," I said. "You've already accomplished that feat...."
Her hips came up at me, her belly smacking against mine, and we screwed hard, our loins pounding together. I didn't last long; a couple minutes, and I had to let it go.
"Unnnnhhhh," she moaned. "Ohhhh, God! Fuck me, John! For Chrissake, fuck meeeeeee!"
Then we were through, she lay in my arms, her head resting on my chest.
"Like it?" she asked.
"What do you think?"
"Better than your ex-wife?"
That question cut a little, but I ignored it. "The best, baby...."
"You even talk like a man, now."
I have to admit that I felt more like a man than I had in years. We fucked again, and then once more before we called it a night. She told me she'd get in touch with me the next day.
Well, the next day we were at it again, and the day after that, and the day after that. My potency astounded me. I couldn't go a day without having her.
And then she gave me the bad news, telling me that she wouldn't be able to see me much any more.
"My husband," she explained. "He's gonna be around more now. He was out on the road for a while there. You know how it is, your being a former salesman and all...."
I was devastated. I spent a week walking around looking for a job and finally found one selling sporting goods in a department store. It barely paid the bills.
"Listen, I've got to see you," I told her on the phone one night. "I miss you so much...."
"I can't talk now," she said, and hung up.
That night, I went out and found a whore. We went to a hotel, and she took fifteen dollars from me. Then she lay down on the bed, refusing to take her bra off, and I couldn't even summon a semblance of a hard-on.
"Forget it," I said, and walked out.
I heard her laughing as I went down the hallway. The bitch!
Well, I really needed Deborah after that. I knew that she was the only woman I could really hit it off with. I could romance other women, wine them and dine them and make them feel as though they were in the company of a real man, but when it came time to do or die, I died. Doornail dead.
"All right, come over tonight," Deborah said one afternoon when I called her. "About ten."
I wondered why she set such a late hour. I wanted more time with her than she was allowing. And then I realized that I was jealous, jealous of the time I spent with my own sister in her bed. It scared me, but I pushed all those feelings deep down and looked forward to seeing her.
"Hi," I said when she let me in.
I didn't know how to address her. I wanted to call her baby, or honey, or something affectionate. But the sexual intonations of such words put me off. Somehow, calling your sister baby doesn't cut it....
"It's so good to see you," she murmured, pressing that sweet body against me. "I've had an awful time since I saw you...."
I asked her what happened, but she was very close mouthed. We had a few drinks, and she tried to be cheery, but it didn't work. She was hiding something, and I knew it. I pressed her....
"He beat me again," she said, and I saw red. "Beat you?" I stormed.
"Yes, here," she said, unbuttoning her housecoat and showing me the red slashes along her back and legs.
"How? What did he-?"
"He tied me up and used a whip," she sobbed. "He hit me again and again. Oh, God, it hurt so much...."
I took her in my arms and tried to comfort her. She was shaking like a leaf, her body trembling, her skin warm and flushed. I felt her flesh, and then desire flooded up inside me.
"Oh, Deborah," I moaned. "I can't keep on like this. I love you. We've got to get the hell out of here. We'll file for, a divorce. You'll have no trouble getting one...."
She kissed me, that quick tongue of hers drilling into my mouth, seeming to flick at my soul. I fondled her body, dropping my hand to her pussy.
"John, oh John!" she gasped. "You make me feel so hot!"
I kissed her soft tits, pulling at the nipples with my teeth, and she mewed like a kitten, tossing her long red hair as I sucked her full breasts.
"C'mon, let's get down to business," I said, and she giggled and squirmed out of my arms.
"Got to catch what you want before you get it," she said, running toward the upstairs bedroom, I bounded up the stairs after her, but I didn't catch her until we were both on that big bed. She had discarded her housecoat along the way, and when I fell on her, she was nude, that soft, inviting body waiting for me.
"Christ, I'm crazy for doing this, but I can't stay away from you," I said.
She smiled, a sly, coy gesture that sent a chill through me. Sometimes the woman scared me.
"Wait," she said suddenly. "Let me do something for you...."
She turned me over on my back, then slid down my body, trailing kisses along my chest and belly. I guessed what she wanted, and I hoped I was correct. I was.
"Such a lovely thing," she murmured, sliding her hand over my prick. "So big and so ready to make me happy...."
I loved that kind of talk. And I loved what she did next even more.
She lowered her mouth over the tip of my cock and sucked hard. Now, I had never had a woman do that to me. My wife never considered it, and the whores I had met ... well, you know what happened there.
"Lovely," she moaned, her lips sucking at my dick. "Lovely, just so big and hard...."
I bucked my hips, and more of my cock went into her mouth. She giggled and ran her tongue along the underside of it, letting it loll in her mouth like a piece of candy. She was driving me crazy. She'd suck it hard, then relax just as I was ready to come.
"Don't stop," I moaned, hoping that she'd suck me to an orgasm. "Please don't stop...."
And then her mouth latched on to me, and I knew that she wasn't going to let go. I gripped the sheets and fucked it into her mouth, building higher and higher, every movement of her lips sending electric shocks through me. I was some kind of madman, poised on the edge of a blade, and then she took me all the way, gulping my come as it spurted into her mouth.
"Gahhhhhh, Deborah!" I screamed. "Ohhhhhhhhh ... "
Like I said, she took it all. Gulped it right down as if it was milk.
"Now you do me," she hissed, pulling out from between my legs.
I didn't waste a moment. I dived between her thighs, and she laughed, closing them about my head. I took hold of her clitoris, determined that I was going to give her the thrill of her life. She had taught me how to suck her, and I had learned my lessons. They say you're never too old to learn, and that's the truth.
When I felt her reach the apex of her resistance, I relented, allowing her to slip down for a few moments before I drove her up again. I played her like a yo-yo, and finally she begged me for it.
"Nowwwwww, John, please nowwwwwww!
I shoved my mouth in her gash and lingered, tasting the sweetness of her come. Then I sucked her clitoris again, working on it with the tip of my tongue until she came, her body twisting on the bed.
"Uh, uh, uh, uh!" she groaned, thrusting her pussy against my face with each grunt.
Her body began to shake, as if she were about to explode, and then she wailed long and loud, twisting and turning.
"No, no!" she shouted. "No more!"
She arched her back and closed her thighs, trying to pull away from me. I had accomplished my objective, to make her beg me to do it to her, then beg me to stop.
"Okay, honey," I said, moving on top of her. "Open wide...."
She spread those lush thighs, and in I went, voila! She was sopping wet, and there was no tightness. I just pushed it in, nice and easy, and it slid through her as if it were greased.
"Ummmmmm, you're so big!" she groaned. "It feels so nice...."
I sucked her tits as I fucked her, and when I came, the damn bed shook. It was marvelous, just what I needed. I felt as though I were alive again.
"When will I see you again?" I asked her after she had washed off.
"I don't know...."
"What do you mean? You can't just hang me up like that. I need you. You mean so much to me."
"I do?"
She said it casually, as if she believed she didn't mean much at all to me. She was fussing with her hair, primping in front of the mirror. She looked delectable, good enough to eat.
"I don't like your attitude, baby," I said, and with that we swung into a gala argument.
She told me I had no ties on her, and I said that she was my sister, and beyond that, the woman I loved and needed. Well, we went at it hot and heavy for a few minutes, and finally she broke down and apologized, saying that she was overwrought because of her husband.
"What's he done?"
"I asked him for a divorce," she said, and I nearly dropped. "You did?"
I couldn't believe my ears. She actually loved me. She wanted to get rid of hubby so we could be together. Naturally, marriage was out of the question. I mean, who ever heard of anybody marrying their sister? I guess it happens in the hill country or someplace like that, but we certainly couldn't contemplate it. But we could live together. That was what I wanted, and I realized then that she wanted it too.
"Is he going to fight you?" I asked. "Why didn't you tell me about this before, when I came in. Is that why he beat you?"
"Yes. He went berserk. Told me he wouldn't let me go. Said that if he couldn't have me, no other man would. Oh, John, he's crazy! I really believe he's lost his mind. He walks around in a half-dazed state, mumbling to himself. It's horrible. And he said he was going to whip me again...."
"Why, the son of a bitch! I'll-"
"No, you shouldn't get involved in this. I think maybe we should stop seeing each other. It's bad for both of us...."
"Bullshit. I'm staying. You might as well start taking that for granted. Now we have to figure out what we're going to do about Jack. That's your husband's name, isn't it?"
"Yes. But there's nothing to do. Our problems would be solved if he was to disappear ... say, there's an idea. Why don't we kill the bastard?"
My mouth fell open. "You're kidding...." I said.
"No."
"Well, forget it, Sis. That's insane...."
"Yeh, I guess so," she sighed, then reached down and fondled my dick.
It swelled as if it were being inflated by a bicycle pump, and when it was stiff and hard, she lowered her head and sucked the tip of it between her lips. She held the root of it with both hands, running her tongue over the head, toying and teasing. She had drained me earlier, but my dick didn't know that and refused to relax. She sucked me hard, and although I wanted to come, I couldn't. But I didn't worry about it. I just lay there enjoying.
Well, I thought we had reached an understanding that we'd see each other as often as possible. I called her every day for two weeks, but I couldn't reach her. The line was either busy or rang and rang. Or hubby answered, and I'd have to mumble something about a wrong number.
I was distracted, walking around like I was possessed. I found a hate building inside me for her husband. I thought about killing him, but whenever it crossed my mind, I pushed it back, out of sight. I didn't want to dwell on it; I knew that my sister had been serious when she mentioned murdering him, and the idea appalled me.
But the more frustrated I became in my attempts to reach her, the more desperate my thoughts became.
Finally, I decided to just go to her apartment. If hubby was home, I'd identify myself as her brother. What could he suspect?
"John!" she gasped when she opened the door. "What in the world...?"
"Don't worry. I didn't take any chances. He doesn't know about us...."
"But he does! He's seen you leave here. He knows your face, but he doesn't know who you are. He says he'll kill you if he ever catches you here...."
A shiver of fear passed through me, followed by an eruption of rage. "He'll kill me?" I shout ed, stalking across the room. "Well, the hell with him. I'll kill him!"
When I said this, I turned to look at her. She was smiling, and her hands went to the belt of her robe, and she loosened it, the robe falling apart, her smooth body flashing before my eyes.
I was on her like a hound.
"We'll do it!" she hissed, as my hands roamed her body. "We'll kill him! Won't we, John?"
"Yes," I gasped. "Yes, yes, yes! Anything! Just make love to me! Love me...."
[NOTE: And so, John has committed himself to drastic action. He believes, at forty-two, that his sister represents his last chance for happiness and fulfillment. She makes him feel like the man he wants to be, and he is absolutely dependent on her for spiritual sustenance. He needs her as an addict needs drugs, to fend off the world and its miseries. He would rather die than give her up, and so he gambles his life on keeping her.]
"Kiss me, John!" she moaned. "Ohhhh, use your mouth on me-"
She didn't mean on her lips, and I knew it. I fell to my knees, clamping my hands on to her sweet buttocks. I found her clitoris, and she spread her legs.
"Ummm, suck me, honey!" she groaned. "Ohhhh, do that for me! Ummmmm, ahhhhhh, yessss! That's it! Right there! Right there! Ooooooohhhh, ohhhhhh!"
God, but she was hot as hell, that woman....
I sucked her good, driving my tongue up into her vagina when she came, wanting to satisfy her completely. Then I spread her out on the carpet and fucked her. Afterwards, she moved down my body and worked on my dick, and by the time we were finished, I had no qualms about planning the death of her husband.
"Should we make it look like an accident?" she said.
"No. I'll shoot him. No one will suspect me, and it'll look as though someone tried to rob him, and when he resisted, they shot him...."
"Yes. Yes, that's good."
Well, it was all arranged. I knew what route he took to get to his car every night. He owned a discotheque downtown, on the East Side. I followed him several nights, keeping out of sight, and I saw that I could step out of the darkness at any one of several points and shoot him directly in the heart.
I bought a gun in another state, where it was legal. I wasn't nervous at all, although I expected I would be. I yakked with the salesman, telling him how I was going to use the pistol as protection, that I owned a liquor store and that I was tired of being robbed.
"I'm going to take the law in my own hands," I crowed. "Going to form a vigilante committee of one. I pity the next guy who comes into my store looking for the receipts."
He told me I was doing the right thing.
"Got to look after yourself," he said, knitting his eyebrows. "Otherwise, nobody else will."
"Right...."
I knew how to handle a gun; I'd been in the army. I stopped seeing Deborah, keeping away from her altogether.
And then I picked the night, a Monday. I knew he'd be working late, clearing up the weekend business, getting ready for the following weekend.
It was five o'clock in the morning when he left the joint. From my hiding place I spotted him coming. When he walked out the door, my heart began beating quickly, but I calmed myself. I can honestly say that I felt no excitement at all about what I was doing, except for that brief moment. No fear, no exultation. I was cold, resigned.
His footsteps seemed very loud as he came toward me. I stood in a doorwell, knowing that his car was just around the corner. The streets were deserted, and my car, rented, was two blocks away.
"Hello, Jack," I said as I stepped out.
He pulled up short, startled, then looked down at the gun.
I fired, and the revolver jumped in my hand. I fired again, aiming carefully as he writhed on the ground, and I knew that he was dead. His body twitched, a shudder, and he was still, his face twisted grotesquely to the side, his cheek on the cold pavement.
"Hey! What was that! Hey, you!"
It was as if I had stepped into a nightmare. A man dressed in an overcoat stood about thirty yards away. He had seen everything!
I started toward him, intending to kill him. My mind began to whirl, but I steeled myself. He saw me coming and stumbled backwards. He was drunk.
Kill him! I thought. Quickly....
I fired, and he went down. I had hit him in the leg, and as he tried to get up, I took aim again.
It was then that two more men appeared, businessmen, dressed in business suits and overcoats.
I turned and ran. I ran as fast as I could, but it didn't seem fast enough. My legs seemed incredibly heavy after a single block, but I knew that my car was only a block away.
I heard someone running after me, and I turned, nearly stumbling as I tried to see who it was.
One of the businessmen was chasing me! The madman!
I decided to ignore him and escape in the car. I fired one shot back at him, and he threw himself down, hugging the street. I got in the car, turned the engine over, and pulled away.
I made a quick turn and whizzed by a police car. I was sure they'd stop and go after me, but they didn't. I guess I wasn't moving as fast as I thought. But they had seen me. And if the man who chased me saw the car, caught the license plates....
I turned the car in early the next morning. I had no trouble. Then I called Deborah.
"I can't see you now, John," she said. "The police are here. They're asking me a lot of questions. I'll call you...."
Then she hung up. I was furious, but I tried to convince myself that she was playing it smart. I waited for her to call. I quit my job and stayed in my room at the hotel all day long, day after day.
When she called two weeks later, she told me she didn't ever want to see me again.
Do you believe that, Doc?
I lost my head. I argued with her, cursed her, threatened her.
She told me to go to hell, and the next sound I heard was, click!
The rest is part of the dossier the police gave you. I shot her a few weeks later, but I only wounded her. I shot her in full view of about thirty people, in a nightclub owned by her boyfriend.
Yeh, that's right, she had a lover all the time she was making it with me. She used me, her own brother.
When I fired at her, a sense of relief swept over me. I thought I had killed her, and it didn't matter that five or six men pulled the gun out of my hand and wrestled me to the floor. I was ready to die, in any manner the state might prescribe.
REMARKS: John will not die. He has been judged insane, and he will remain under psychiatric supervision. He seems to have some grasp on his sanity, and this session was one of his best. But his state vacillated; one day, he would strive to gain a hold of his senses, the next he would withdraw, speechless. I shall continue to treat him in my capacity as a representative of the state. I hope that if he applies himself, he may someday be able to rejoin society. At the least, therapy may be able to make the remainder of his life tolerable.
CHAPTER SIX
PATIENT: Barbara S., twenty-seven, waitress.
REMARKS: A wistful girl, quiet and withdrawn, Barbara had great difficulty articulating her troubles. I spent several sessions talking informally with her before she felt as though she was able to delve into her past. A transcript of her sixth session with me follows.
BARBARA: I feel like talking today. This is the first time I've felt like this since I began seeing you, and I guess it's because I trust you. It scares me, trusting you. I had decided some time ago that I didn't need anybody, didn't need to trust in anyone, but I need you. I know that.
I've mentioned my parents several times before, but I haven't told you much about them. They're sweet people, just misguided, or misinformed, or something. They're very insensitive. They worry more about what other people think of them than about what they themselves feel, and I guess both my brother and I fought the same habit. It was difficult.
I grew up feeling inferior, as though other people had some kind of power over me that could make or break me. I was always alert for potential critics, and instead of ignoring them, I tried to win them over, to be the kind of person they wanted me to be, instead of being myself.
I was twenty-five before I finally got up the guts to move out of my parents' house. I didn't hate them, and I still don't. I was just afraid, scared to face the world, and I think they encouraged me to feel this, so that I'd stay near them.
[NOTE: Barbara states that she does not hate her parents, that they were, as she terms it, sweet people. But until she realizes that she harbors great antipathy for them, she will not be able to deal with her problems. She must understand that she has ample reasons for disliking her parents, that her hate for them is well founded. They undermined her confidence in herself, seeking to tie her to them for their own selfish reasons. Once she perceives her own hate for them, she can also realize how much she loves them, and she can truly begin to know herself. Only then will she be able to face up to her problems, not run away from them.]
I took an apartment and worked as a waitress at a swank restaurant downtown. It was hard work, but I enjoyed it. It kept my mind occupied. I found that if I spent too much time alone, I'd work myself into a depression, and I'd want to kill myself.
Sexually, I was out of it. I wasn't a virgin, but I hadn't had a sexual experience that wasn't traumatic. I seemed to pick the wrong men, guys who were insecure themselves and couldn't handle themselves well. They could fuck, but they couldn't make love.
So I was hung up. I stopped seeing men about six months before Bobby came to visit me. Bobby's my only brother. This was about a year ago, when he came to see me. He had just turned eighteen, but he seemed much older, like twenty-five. As I talked to him, I felt as though it were me who was eighteen.
"I'm messed up, Sis," he said. "Left home last night and stayed out on the streets. I don't have any money, and I was wondering whether you'd lend me some until I get a job. I graduated last June, you know that, so I should be able to find work. I'm gonna get my own place, like you did...."
I sat there listening to him, looking at him, and suddenly I was aware that I was very attracted to him. That upset me slightly, to say the least. He was my brother. That was all he could be. But I was proud of him, and I dug him. He was man enough to do what I should have done at his age but what took me much longer to do-cut off from Mommy and Daddy.
"You're lookin' good, Sis," he said after we had talked awhile. "Gained some weight, eh? Looks fine on you. Gives you a little extra zap! Very sexy...."
I blushed. He laughed.
"Don't be embarrassed," he said. "I'm a man and you're a woman. You should like me talking like that...."
I changed the conversation, and when midnight came, he asked me not only for money, but if he could stay with me.
"I got no place to go," he said. "No place...."
Well, how could I turn him down? I knew what he was going through. "You can sleep on the couch," I said. "It's convertible. Just take the cushions off and pull it out."
"Where do you sleep?"
"Me? Why, in the bedroom."
"Oh."
Well, we spent a lot of time together the next few days. We went to movies, listened to records, and he introduced me to a new experience-pot.
"Listen, Sis, I don't know how you feel about drugs," he said to me the third night he was at my place, "but I want you to try some of this...." He pulled out a small bag and a package of cigarette paper.
"I don't think-"
"Now, don't put it down until you try it," he interrupted. "You've never tried it, have you?"
I had gone out with older men, and they had never mentioned marijuana. If they had any, they didn't offer me any.
"No," I said. "All right; I'll try it...."
"Good."
He rolled a couple of them, handing me one. I lit it, sucking on it like he told me. The smoke was very hot, and although I smoked cigarettes, it made me cough.
"Keep it down," he said. "Give it time to work."
I did as he said, and within a few minutes, the sounds coming out of my stereo had me in a trance. I could concentrate better on what I was hearing, and the music took on added dimensions.
"Dig it?"
"Yeh," I said, sinking lower into the sofa.
I felt very lazy, very peaceful. All my cares and worries seemed to float out the damn window. Bobby moved closer, letting his arm drape over the edge of the sofa behind me.
"Sex is great when you're high," he murmured.
I looked up at him, and he brought his mouth down on mine. I pushed him away, but he came right back at me, and I found myself allowing his kiss, almost hungering for it. His lips were very soft, and he kissed well, gently but firmly. My little brother had certainly grown.
And then his hands were on my tits, kneading, caressing. I gasped and let him do what he wanted. My last gasp! Hah! What a gas! I was a horny little thing, and he read me like a book. An open book with big print. He knew just what my scene was, and he moved in, a real pro. But he was beautiful, like I've said about seven times already, and even then I didn't regret it.
[NOTE: Barbara's sexual frustrations and her yearning to form some kind of meaningful bond with her family have combined to cause her reaction to her brother, who is extremely aggressive and unconcerned about the morality of his actions. As she said, he understood her situation, and he decided to exploit it. She did not have the inner strength and confidence in herself to resist him.]
"Hey, Sis," he murmured when our lips parted. "This is groovy-"
"It is, eh?" I said, my mind in a whir. "That's nice. Just don't stop. Keep going...."
He did. His hand went under my short skirt, and his fingers slid along the soft skin of my inner thighs. I thought I was going to fly through the roof. Every touch of his fingers seemed to send an electric shock coursing through me. I felt electrified. And I was hot, hotter than I had ever been.
"Feel good?" he said.
I wasn't sure what he meant, but I guess he wanted to know whether I was relaxed. I nodded.
"You're so sexy," he moaned, really turning it and me on now. "Your pussy is so soft ... and wet...."
My legs were spread obscenely wide, and he had his hand inside my panties. When he slipped a finger into my vagina, I felt as though I were going to explode.
"Ohhhh, God!" I moaned. "Ohhhhh...."
"Yeh, baby, yeh! Mmmmmmmm...."
He had me writhing and tossing on that couch, and when I thought I couldn't stand it any more, the way his palm was caressing my clitoris while he finger fucked me, he pulled away from me.
"C'mon," he grinned. "Let's get naked...."
I hesitated slightly, as if I were experiencing a surge of moral righteousness. Bobby smiled at me, like he knew exactly what was going on inside my head.
"Don't think twice," he murmured, leaning toward me.
I let his lips slide onto mine, his hand once more easing beneath my skirt. I whimpered like a kitten, and he knew I was had. He picked me up and carried me into the bedroom. Dig that, will you? My own brother playing the role with me, cradling me in his arms as we head for the glorious land of fuck Of course, I didn't know that it would be glorious; I only hoped it would be.
My high had really taken hold of me by then, and when we had our clothes off, his body moving against mine, I felt wonderful. I reached down and took his dick in my hand.
"Ooooooohhh," I cooed. "It's so big!"
He laughed, twitching his hips so that it pumped through my fingers. The shaft was hard, incredibly hard and long. I felt the thick veins that bulged near the surface, the skin stretched taut over his prick.
"Yes, it's big," he said, grinning. "All the better to fuck you with...."
"Then do it!" I hissed. "Fuck me! Fuck me, Bobby! Ohhhhh, do me good! I need it so!"
I guess he realized then how horny I was, because he fell on me like a wolf. His tongue caressed my tits, then moved down my belly. I lifted my ass when his head went between my thighs, and his tongue shot into my cunt.
"Ohhhhh, wow!" I shrieked, not quite believing it was really happening, that my brother was down there eating me.
I had never experienced cunnilingus, although I had always wanted to. The men I went with, as I've said, were crude and insensitive. And they didn't bother using their mouths on me. It was stick it in and pull it out, and that was supposed to represent lovemaking. Well, Bobby knew what a woman wanted, and don't kid yourself, every woman wants to have her pussy licked, sucked, and otherwise eaten. They may say they don't, but that's just because they're embarrassed, they've been told by their parents, by society, that oral sex is unclean, immoral. Bullshit. It's great....
And Bobby ate me like I was his dinner. I mean, that boy knew what he was doing. It kind of scared me, that he would be so proficient. I hadn't much experience, and I guess I expected him to be a sort of novice, but it didn't work out that way.
"Come, Sis!" I heard him gasp as his tongue flicked against my clitoris. "Cummmmmm...."
He grunted and groaned like a boar, his breath hissing as he ate me. My clitoris was between his lips, and he worked the tip of his tongue against it as if he were in a frenzy. Lord, but it was beautiful! I came, and I came, and I came.
"Yehhhhhhh," he moaned through each orgasm. "Yehhhh, baby! Cummmm! Mmmmmm...."
And he sucked me dry, his lips buried in the folds of flesh, my come trickling down the walls of my vagina.
"Yesss, suck me like that!" I moaned.
I loved the way his tongue snuck into my pussy, wriggling way up inside my vagina. And then I knew that I wanted his dick in me, wanted to feel that huge hardness penetrate, slice into me.
"Bobby!" I gasped. "Bobby, put it in me now! Bobby! Now, for God's sake! Fuck me, pleasssse!"
He giggled and took his dick in hand, positioning it at the lips of my cunt. He hesitated a moment, then jerked it against me. It slid off, failing to penetrate.
"Ohh, hurry!" I pleaded. "Get it in!"
He tried again, but again it refused to enter. So I reached down and grabbed him, gasping at the size of him. It seemed that he was too big, that he would split me wide open. But I took him and stuffed him into my cunt, spreading my legs wide and bucking my hips against him. He went in clean, smooth. My pussy was sopping wet from all the sucking he had done, and the whole of his prick just rammed into me.
"Uhhhhhhhhh, yesssss!" I shouted, ecstatic.
He slid his hand beneath my buttocks and fucked me hard, jamming his big dick into me, my pussy sucking at the tip of his cock, then spreading wide as he drove the full length of it deep into me, right to the center of my soul, it seemed.
"Geezus, you're perfect!" he gasped. "I thought you were gonna be real tight, but it's just right. Hey, I'm a poet!"
We screwed as if we'd been lovers for years. In an odd way, I suppose we were. I had always felt a great deal of affection for him, and as I held him between my legs then, his body pumping against mine, I knew that it was he, my brother, that I was fucking. I made no attempt to try and whitewash what I was doing. I faced it; I was fucking my brother and loving it!
"Gonna come!" I rasped as his dick drove through me. "Gonna come! Ohhhhh, Bobby!"
"Go ahead," he urged, his hands gripping my buttocks. "Lemme feel it! Lemme feel you come...."
Well, he got what he wanted. I went into spasms. Never did I dream that sex could be so intense, so bone shattering. I tossed under him like a horse, but he held on tight, and all my energy was funneled into an incredible climax. As soon as he felt my body begin to shudder, he let his own orgasm gush into me, and that pushed me over the edge. I went berserk, raving like a lunatic as we fucked ourselves into oblivion. I heard nothing, I remember nothing, except that I experienced alternating pinnacles of both pleasure and pain.
I was almost grateful when it had ended. A girl could be killed that way.
"Oh, Bobby! It was fantastic!" I said when he moved off me. "Absolutely fantastic!"
He smiled weakly.
"Yeh, Sis. I could say the same. You damn near tore my dick off. Christ, what a fuck!"
I moved close to him, and we lay side by side. I took his limp prick in my hand and caressed it, wanting to feel him hard again.
"Better give up," he said. "You aren't going to squeeze any more blood from that stone...."
"But I want to," I complained, my voice high-pitched. "I want to do it again...."
Christ, the kid had me hooked from the beginning! No sooner had we finished than I wanted him again. I was too hungry for love, had been denied too much by my parents, I suppose. When I found what I wanted, I couldn't rest for a minute.
[NOTE: Barbara acknowledges her need for constant gratification, caused partly by her parents' indifference and by her own sexual frustrations with other men. When she finds sexual gratification with her brother, her needs, long ignored, seem to become insatiable. It is not only the intensity of the sex act she longs for, however. She also thrives on the attendant feelings of affection she receives from her brother. For the first time in her life, she does not feel alone. He lies next to her, and she uses him as she would another man to realize herself as a woman.]
"I'll tell you how to get me up, if you want it that bad," Bobby said to me after I had fondled his dick for some time without results.
"How?"
He took my head in his hands and pushed it downward. I knew what he wanted, and I didn't hesitate. I sucked his dick into my mouth, and he groaned, his hips raising up to force more of his cock between my lips.
"Ohhh, Sis, yeh!" he murmured.
"C'mon, love," I teased. "Get up. I want you nice and big, so you can do something for me....
I let my tongue run along the underside of his prick, then twirled it around the tip, sucking hard. He began to twitch, as though I were sticking a knife into him.
"Ohhhh, Bobby," I moaned, my words barely audible. "I'm so hot! Ummmmm...."
It didn't take him too long to get hard, and when his dick was stiff enough, I moved my mouth away and mounted him. I loved that position, and as I let his cock slide into me, I looked down at him, gazed at the contorted expression on his face. He opened his eyes, and I leaned down to kiss him, driving my tongue into his mouth.
"Fuck!" he gasped hoarsely. "Christ, gimme a good one! You feel so hot, so tight!"
I was tight because he hadn't sucked me before I got on him. But as we screwed, my cunt began to spread wider, and he pumped it into me, pulling at my tits as we fucked.
Well, we spent the damn night fucking, and I still say it was the happiest I've ever been. I know what society thinks of me, but I didn't care about it that night. I guess I never cared. I always felt as though I were on the periphery of society anyway.
It wasn't the pressures of society that caused the split between Bobby and me. It was Bobby. He just didn't treat me right.
Oh, things went well for a while. Real well.
A week after we had first made it together, Bobby arrived with a friend, who was female. She was gorgeous, very lovely and very sexy. She was about my height, about five-six, and she was blond, like me. But she was a bit thinner, not as heavy in the thighs and breasts as me. But she was well built, no getting around that. A real knockout, and I could see right away why Bobby had latched on to her.
"I want you to meet Alicia," he said to me when she walked into the room, and immediately I was flooded with a feeling of jealousy.
I talked with her while Bobby went out for some food, and the more we chatted, the more I liked her. She was straight, not a phony, I thought. She told me about Bobby and her, that they had seen a lot of each other, that they were lovers. She knew he'd slept with me, but she said she wasn't jealous.
I laughed, and it was then that I realized I was attracted to her. She was delicious, and I wanted her. I had experienced one encounter with a girl, when I was in college, and although I didn't seek out any other girls, I honestly admitted to myself that I enjoyed going to bed with a woman.
Bobby knew about the incident. I had told him several years earlier, needing somebody to talk to. He was very young, but I guessed he remembered. He was a sharp little bugger. I thought about it and decided that he was up to something, bringing this girl Alicia to my apartment. He wanted something. I wanted to be hard, to avoid being an easy touch. But my heart was against it. I loved him.
"How are you two getting along?" he asked when he got back with our chicken dinners.
"Oh, fine," Alicia said, smiling at me. "We have a lot in common...."
We ate, and then Bobby pulled out the pot. I hadn't smoked any in two days, and I was eager to have some. I liked the sensations it created.
"Here y'are, Sis," he said, handing me a large one.
I nodded and lit it, and several minutes later, we were all as high as kites on a windy day. Alicia moved to his lap, and as they kissed, I felt my blood begin to boil. I didn't know whether I was jealous or excited, watching them suck each other's tongues. I dropped my hand to my lap and rubbed it over my pussy, feeling my clitoris grow hard as I caressed it.
I was excited, plain and simple!
They began to groan, and I watched my brother work his hand into his girlfriend's blouse, unfastening the buttons to reveal her tits, packed into a black half bra.
"Ummmmm," she moaned. "Ohhhh, Bobby!"
He loosened her bra, and her tits popped free. It was then that he looked over at me. I expected him to apologize or something, but he just grinned.
"Luscious, ain't they?" he said, palming one of her tits.
I sat shocked, as if he'd thrown cold water into my face. He bent his head and sucked the girl's tit into his mouth, and she crooned to him, sliding her hands into his hair and pulling his face deep into her breasts.
"Yesss, suck 'em," she gasped. "Mmmmm...."
She glanced over at me, smiling stupidly. Her eyes were glazed, cloudy from the pot. I wanted to tear her eyes out, but she kept looking at me and I found myself returning her frank gaze.
"Come here," she whispered. "Come over here...."
I got up and took a step toward her, then stopped. I was damned if she was going to control me like a puppet! I decided I'd do it my way this time.
"He does it good, doesn't he?" I murmured, nodding to Bobby.
He raised his head, his face wet with his own saliva, her soft tits gleaming.
"Don't stop," I said to him. "Suck the other one. She likes it...."
He giggled and immersed his face in her other tit. She kept staring at me, wondering what I was up to. I pulled my sweater off, undulating my hips in time with the beat of some rock music that was pounding out of the stereo.
"Yeh," she groaned. "Go ahead, honey. Wild...."
She was talking to me, but Bobby grunted and sucked her tit deep into his mouth. She leaned back and laughed, and I joined her, amused by his confusion.
I stepped closer, watching his mouth move over her tit, his teeth pulling first at the nipple, then at the lush flesh as it disappeared between his lips.
"Lemme see them," she said to me as I unsnapped my bra. "Lemme see your tits...."
Her voice was slurred, and I don't think she realized she was talking. I think her thoughts simply became audible, and the sight of her waiting to ogle my breasts turned me on even more. She was in a world of her own, Bobby sucking her tits hard as she eyed my body.
I let the brassiere slide off, and my tits fell free. They were heavier than hers, but they remained firm, and I was proud of them. She gasped, her mouth falling open.
"Christ, what boobs!" she murmured. "Huge!"
She pushed Bobby away, sliding out of his lap. She shrugged her blouse off, her bra falling free with it.
"So big...."
We each took one step, and we were against each other, our tits sliding. together. Her skin seemed so smooth, her nipples so sharp. Her arms crept around my waist, and I pushed my mouth against hers.
The sensation was incredibly delicious!
I had known it once, on that one occasion I had spent a few hours in bed with a school girlfriend. But it seemed better now, with my inhibitions down and my high drifting through me.
I sucked at her tongue, then raised my hands to cup her tits. She groaned, a low sound that seemed all animal. And then we staggered to the couch and pulled our clothes off. We were nude in what seemed a second, and when we sprawled on the couch, clumsily trying to work ourselves into a suitable position, we heard Bobby's low voice.
"Go to it, girls!" he teased. "Gimme a real show!"
We ignored him. Alicia dipped her head, and her mouth slid against my cunt. I moved my lips onto her pussy, and the link was complete. We were tottering on the sofa, sucking each other as if there were no tomorrow, while Bobby jerked at his cock, his eyes wide as he watched us eat each other.
"Ohhhhh, that's marvelous!" I heard Alicia groan, and then I tasted her come.
No wonder Bobby enjoyed eating me so much! I had forgotten how good pussy could taste! Her come was sweet, sweet as candy. I shoved my tongue into her vagina and wriggled it like a snake.
"Ummmmm, gahhhhhhh!" she rasped, her body squirming.
That set me off, and a string of orgasms rocked me, my mind seeming to split from my body as her mouth and tongue drove me quite out of my skull.
"That's enough!" we both heard Bobby say, and then he pried us apart.
I fell on the floor, and he moved atop Alicia, his dick powering into her slick cunt. I sat staring at them, his prick glistening and red as he fucked it into the girl I had just sucked. I moved my hand between my legs, my finger pressing hard against my clitoris. I began the quick, steady movement I knew so well, my body straining to find some release. And then it came, and I lay back as I listened to the couple on the couch fuck themselves silly.
"You're next, Sis!" Bobby said a few minutes later, and I opened my legs wide as he moved between them.
I was still very high, and as he screwed me, I called to Alicia. She knelt beside me on the floor, and I took one of her tits and pulled it into my mouth. She hissed, her body jerking as I ran my tongue over her pert nipple.
"Yeh, Sis! That's it! Wild...."
Bobby fucked me furiously, driving his dick into me as if he meant to punish me. I loved it. He managed to control himself long enough for me to buck through three orgasms, or was it four? I don't remember. Hardly one was at an end when the next washed over me, as if a breaker were crashing against me, submerging me.
Wow! It was something else, I'll tell you!
After that, Alicia spent a lot of time at my apartment. Really, the two of them moved in, but I didn't think of it like that. I considered them guests, and I treated them accordingly. Neither was working, and so I bought them food. When Bobby wanted money to buy pot, I gave it to him.
And we partied damn near every night.
It was at one of the parties that I met a guy who called himself Tex. He was dressed, appropriately enough, like a cowboy, complete with boots and Stetson. He was awfully handsome, and after we had all gotten high and listened to the music, he pulled me up and we danced. It was a slow number, and his dick ground against my belly, the hardness of it pressing into me.
"You know, if it wasn't my place, we'd probably be thrown out of here for dancing like this," I said.
"Yeh, wouldn't it be a shame?"
I laughed and let his hands move to my ass, his fingers gripping me and pulling me tight against him.
"C'mon," I gasped after several minutes of this. "Let's go this way, love...."
He followed me into the bedroom, through the darkness, and we left the rest of them in the living room, not caring whether they missed us or not.
"C'mere, dammit!" he snapped once we were inside the room. "I thought I'd never get you alone tonight...."
We kissed, his hands pulling at the zipper on my dress, which opened for him. We shucked our clothes off and tumbled into bed, and he kissed my breasts and shoved his face into my pussy.
It was then that I tightened, my body tensing as if I expected to be hit.
He tried to get his dick into me, but I pushed him away.
"Hey! What the hell...?"
"I can't," I sobbed. "I can't!"
I thought he'd get up, put his clothes on, and stomp out of the room. But when he heard me crying, he sat on the edge of my bed and ran his hand through my hair, trying to calm me.
"What's the matter, honey? I go too fast for you?"
I shuddered, not wanting to tell him. And then the words came gushing out.
"No, it's not you. I'm afraid of men, that's all. I can't enjoy it...."
"But Bobby told me you like to screw. He said he'd made it with you plenty of times and that you were great."
He said that to make me feel better, bolster my confidence. I couldn't believe Bobby had said something like that to him, to anybody.
Why would he make our relationship public information?
"My brother told you that?" I said.
His eyes widened, and he pulled back.
"Your brother? Bobby is your brother?"
I was going to deny it, but it wouldn't have made sense. I had given it away, and there was no use trying to cover up at that point.
"Yes," I said flatly.
"And you let him...?"
"Yes."
"Did he force you?"
"No," I said acidly, his incredulity beginning to annoy me. "I wanted him. It just happened a couple of months ago. I dug it, and we've been lovers ever since...."
He stood up suddenly and pulled on his pants, buckling them silently, then climbed into the rest of his clothes.
"You got some bad problems, lady," he said quietly, not looking at me as he yanked on his boots. "I don't think you realize how messed up you are, or you'd do something about it."
"Listen, I don't need that kind of talk," I said. "You can-"
"You better get rid of him," he continued. "Throw him out. Or move out yourself. You're heading for a real smashup if you don't watch out...."
And then he was gone, the door slamming closed behind him. I tried to fight the wisdom of his words, but it was fruitless. I cried for hours, and nobody came to find out what was the matter with me. I decided then that I had to get Bobby out of my apartment. I might not be able to stop seeing him altogether, but he had to leave. That would be the first step....
"What do you mean, you want us out of here by Monday?" Alicia shrieked when I broke the news to them. "You goddamn whore! Who the hell do you think-?"
Bobby pushed her away and tried to soft talk me, but I wouldn't budge.
"We can't keep on this way," I said, tears streaming down my face. "I don't want to put you out, but we're both going to be hurt terribly if we don't cut it off right now."
Well, he tried every trick in the book, and suddenly it occurred to me that he didn't love me at all, not the way I loved him! As he tried to cajole me into letting him stay, first with soft words, then threats, his true feeling for me surfaced. He hated me! We argued, and then he hit me.
I went down hard, and I heard Alicia laugh. He grabbed her and went out, taking a key with him.
He came back that night, and we argued again. I had packed both their belongings, and I threw them down the stairs. I no sooner turned around than Alicia was on me, and I felt something drive into my side.
I screamed as the pain shot through me, and she staggered back, holding a kitchen knife that was red with blood. I fainted, and when I awoke, I was in the hospital.
I had come close to dying. I stayed several weeks, and they gave me psychiatric examinations after the truth became known. They suggested I see you when I was released. Which is why I'm here....
REMARKS: Barbara is back at work, fully recovered from her wound. She intends to remain in therapy until some of the troubles that have plagued her have been dealt with. She is eager to take up a normal life, and she is willing to work hard in order to understand her problems. She has already produced several insights regarding her mother and father, and I think that her future is bright.
CHAPTER SEVEN
PATIENT: Gregory Y., sixteen, student.
REMARKS: A handsome, dark-haired boy, Gregory showed no reluctance to discuss his experiences. In our first session he related much of what happened to him, and a transcript of that session follows.
GREGORY: My sister, Ginny, is the same age as me, sixteen-that is, she's about ten months older than me, and she'll soon be seventeen. She's very well developed for her age. I mean, older guys are always trying to pick her up as she walks down the street. They pull up in cars or just turn to her on street corners. They always ask her if she wants to come with them, that they want to have some fun with her.
She's a smart girl, and she turns them down.
At least, she's turned down every one that approached her when I was with her. But I know she enjoys their attention. And she encourages it, the way she dresses. She's got some hell of a body for a sixteen-year-old kid, and she wears these tight-fitting clothes that leave very little to the imagination of anyone who sees her. And she walks with this wiggle. It's not too much, but it gives a little swing to her body when she moves.
What I'm saying is that she turns men on.
She turns me on, too, but up until a couple of months ago, I wouldn't have admitted it.
Until that time, I used to catch glimpses of her naked, or near naked. She'd come out of the bathroom with nothing on, or just a towel wrapped around her. Or I'd catch her undressing for bed, her tits bare. A couple times, I even saw her cunt. She's a bleached blond, which is weird for a kid her age, but Mom has let her bleach her hair for a few years. I mean the hair on the top of her head, not her cunt hair. That hair is brown, a light brown.
Now, I always knew that Ginny liked to fool around with boys, and I kinda knew what she did with them-necking, petting, that sort of thing. I had blundered into some of her sessions with different boys. Some were just kissing her real hot, others had her blouse open, still others had her tits out and their faces were in them.
After I saw them, I'd always go upstairs and jerk off. I saw an image of her in my mind's eye, and I'd sort of watch her tease them and toy with them before she let them feel her tits.
But this one day a couple months ago I went out behind the house looking for her. She had borrowed some money from me a week earlier, and I needed it. We got a shed out back, and I thought I heard a sound come from it. I went to it, but I didn't knock on the door. I mean, why should I? It's only an empty shed.
"Geezus! What the-?"
There she was, lying on her back, a boy between her legs. They were both nude, and they were fucking. Two other boys sat nearby, their dicks hanging down, and they were naked too.
I stared at them as if I had become a statue.
"Get out, dammit!" the boy who was fucking Ginny shouted.
I knew him. He was about eighteen years old, and he was going away to college that fall. He was tall and strong, and although I didn't like him, I respected his size. I'm not very big, and I'm not what you would call a violent person.
I started to go out, but Ginny called to me, telling me to stay.
"What for?" one of the other boys said.
"Because he knows, stupid," she snapped. "He's liable to tell somebody, and then where would you be?"
Like I said, Ginny is a smart girl, and the kid listened to her. His name was Mark, and he was seventeen. I didn't know him as well as I knew the other boy, the third one. His name was Al, and he was a good friend. I looked at him, but he wouldn't meet my eyes. He seemed ashamed.
"Come here, Greg," Ginny said. "Come over here...."
I closed the door tight and locked it. I wasn't sure what was going to happen, but my heart was beating like crazy, and I felt good. I think I knew then that something was going to happen between me and my sister. I was very naive, very inexperienced sexually. In fact, I'd never had sex with a girl. I'd kissed, but that was as far as I had gone. I dated good girls, you know, the kind who are afraid of sex. And since I was kind of shy myself, well, you can see how I hadn't laid a lot of girls ... i
"Listen, why does he have to be here?" Adam said.
"Just get up off me, you lug," Ginny shot back.
I smiled. She tickled me. She was tough as nails, and she didn't take any shit from anybody. I considered her to be a woman, really. She just never seemed to be a girl, or at least, I don't remember her being one.
"Sit down, honey," she said to me, and I moved next to her.
I felt funny with all my clothes on. I glanced down at her body, and my dick began to swell inside my pants. Christ, but she was a fantastic piece of ass! Those big, full tits and her slim waist, flaring hips, and muscular legs made her look like a movie star. And that bleached hair gave her an extra touch of sexuality. Man, she was it!
She was my sister, sure, but there was no way on earth I could control my reaction to her, my sexual reaction, that is.
"Well, you gonna sit there naked or are you gonna put your clothes on, like the rest of us?" she said.
The two smaller boys tittered, and Adam looked down at the ground, frowning.
I stood up and took my clothes off, Ginny kneeling to peel my undershorts down my legs. When my dick sprang out, she smiled, wrapping her long fingers around it.
"Oooooohhh," she cooed. "Little brother is getting big!"
My prick wasn't all that big, about six inches, but I had read in a book somewhere that five to seven inches is normal, so I was proud of myself.
"Lemme kiss it for you," she whispered, and the next thing I knew, her mouth was on me.
Man, I can't tell you how wild that is! I mean, I had never been alone with a nude girl before, never even felt a girl's tits, and now my sexy sister was down there sucking my prick. Man!
"Lemme out of this joint," Adam growled, kicking the door open.
"Close that damn door, quick!" Ginny said to the two remaining boys. "And don't let the bastard back in, hear? He wants out, he got it...."
They nodded, and she returned to me. I felt better now that Adam was gone. He sort of intimidated me, and now that I was with boys more my own age, I felt more at ease. I looked down, my knees shaking, and watched my sister slide her velvet mouth over my cock.
"Ummmmmm, nice...." she murmured, and I thought I was gonna come on the spot.
It was at that point that I began to have second thoughts about what I was doing. I mean, Ginny was my sister, my only sister. If our parents ever found out about this, they'd kill us. I tried to pull away, but she squeezed me hard and drew it back into her mouth.
"Listen, Ginny," I gulped. "I don't think we should do this. These guys might tell on us...."
She let my prick fall free of her lips. It just stood there, pointed directly at her face. It seemed laughable, the way it pointed at her, hard as steel.
"You gonna tell anybody about us?" she asked the boys, her voice hard.
"No."
"We wouldn't...."
"See?" she said to me. "They know damn well that if they breathe a word, I'll bite their dicks off. They can't stay away from me, I do too much for them. Where else are they gonna get pussy?"
Al turned red, but Mark just giggled.
Again, her mouth slithered onto my cock, and by that time I had lost all will to resist. I know that's wrong, but I couldn't help myself. She was just so sexy, I was trapped. She ran her hands up the back of my thighs, sucking hard on my prick, and I thought I was gonna faint. It was heavenly, standing there while she sucked me off.
"Yehhhhh, suck it!" I heard Mark say.
I opened my eyes and looked over at him. He was sitting on a milk carton, playing with himself. I glanced at Al, but he pretended to be staring out the window, although he couldn't see through it, it was so dirty.
"Now, you won't tell anybody about us, will you, Greg?" Ginny asked very pointedly.
I had been just ready to come when she asked me, and under the circumstances, what could I answer but no?
"Good," she grunted, pulling me down on top of her.
"But Ginny," Mark broke in. "You said I was next...."
"Shut up!" she shouted, then took my dick and stuffed it in her cunt.
She did it very expertly, and I guessed she'd had a lot of practice. My cock went into her, and I just lay there digging the sensation. Her pussy was steaming, and it felt as though my dick had been shoved into the furnace.
"Wow, this is too much," I groaned when she began to move her hips so that my prick went through her in slow thrusts.
"Like it, little brother?" she teased, wrapping her legs around my back. "I love it...."
I kissed her, and an electric shock seemed to jolt me. Her lips were so soft and hot, and her tongue snuck inside my mouth and teased me. I had never had a kiss like that, so passionate, and it was all I could take. I shot my load into her, and she kept kissing me, her tongue driving me wild.
When I was finished, I lay atop her, trying to catch my breath. Her hips continued to move, slowly, as if they were motor driven. I gasped as the lips of her pussy seemed to grip my prick, and the last few drops of semen dribbled out of me.
"Now me?" Mark said, standing up.
"No," she said. "Al is next...."
Al glanced at her, then stood and gathered up his clothes.
I moved off my sister, and she sat up, smiling at Al.
"You go out that door, you go out for good," she said, and he knew she meant it.
I realized then what a hold she had on those boys. He dropped his shirt, socks, and shoes and pulled his dungarees off. Then he sat down on the stool, trying to ignore her.
She grinned at me, then at Mark. Getting to her feet, she strolled toward him as he sat by the door, looking down at his toes.
"Don't you want me, Al?" she teased in this sing-song voice.
Man, the sound of her voice gave me goose pimples! My dick started to throb, and I figured that if Al was going to abstain, I'd take his place.
"I want you, Al," she continued.
The poor guy looked up at her and got an eyeful of tits, thighs, and cunt. I mean, that cock-teasing sister of mine was really making him moan inside. I know he didn't want to touch her, but she made him change his mind. That nude, lush body of hers was just too much for him as she stood posing, one hand on her hip, the other combing through her hair.
And that bewitching smile, the brilliant-gold hair, the pouting lips....
Forget it; he was a goner.
He buried his face in her soft belly with a moan, and she threw her head back, tossing her hair, and laughed. She seemed so powerful then, so dominant. It was as if we were her slaves, she the queen. We could refuse her nothing....
"Ohhhhh, Ginny...." Al moaned, and she wound her fingers in his long hair and pushed him lower, until his mouth was opposite her cunt.
He didn't wait to be told; he dug in, driving his tongue into her snatch. She rose up on her toes, her big breasts heaving, and her legs spread wider. He had his whole head between her thighs then, and I could see his tongue whipping against her.
It was too much for Mark. He hopped to his feet, his dick hard as a rock, and moved behind her, covering her tits with his hands. His fingers squeezed the soft flesh cruelly, but she didn't seem to mind the pain.
She was in ecstasy.
Boys' hands were all over, and I think she loved having them fawn over her.
She spotted me sitting there, gawking at them.
"Ohhhh, Gregory," she moaned, gritting her teeth as Al's tongue brought her to another climax. "Ohhhh...."
And then it was more than I could take.
"Fuck them," I gasped. "Fuck them while I watch!"
She giggled and pushed the boys away.
"C'mon," she gasped. "Take me! Somebody take meeee...."
A blanket had been spread on the dirt floor of the shed, and she got down on her back, her thighs yawning open. Al moved atop her, his prick jabbing at her cunt. He was so eager, he couldn't manage to find her, and she giggled gaily until his cock sank into her.
And then she went into her act, her show. I had no doubt that she actually felt what she expressed, but some hell of a show it was.
She would arch her back, tossing her head from side to side as he fucked it into her, and I could see the contorted features of her face, her eyes shut tight, her hands tearing at the boy's strong back. The muscles in her thighs and calves seemed to ripple, then relax as she sank to the blanket. The boy pumped his dick into her, and I could hear the slap-slap of their bellies in the small shed.
I pulled at my prick, unable to stand the tension any longer. Ginny bucked and snorted, shouted and kicked, until Al finally gave her all he had, an enormous orgasm that shook both of them. I thought their cries would bring someone, but that didn't stop me from joining them.
"Get off," I rasped. "Get off her...."
But Mark shoved me away and mounted my sister, his hands covering her tits as he fucked it into her.
"Me, I'll do it," I heard Al say, and suddenly his mouth was moving over my prick and I didn't back away.
I staggered slightly, but I didn't fall, and as I watched Mark screw my sister, it welled up in me and I filled Al's mouth with my come. He swallowed all of it, much to my surprise. I grabbed him by the head and worked his lips over my cock, loving the feel of his teeth as they scraped along the underside of my dick.
"Now, you keep your mouth shut, you hear?" Ginny said as she squeezed into her dress. "You're as much a part of this as any of us now...."
I nodded, and we left the shed, one by one.
I spent that night in agony. The shame of what I had done seemed to press down on me, shut off my breath. I lay in bed, sweating, wondering what I should do.
Finally, I decided to tell my mother about it. My father was too distant, too remote to talk to. But my mother....
"Darling, are you telling me the truth?" she asked when I unburdened my conscience. "Are you sure you mean what you're saying?"
I hesitated, then nodded.
"There were three of us, out in the shed," I said. "We all had her. And she liked it. Adam was there too, but he left. I think he's had her too."
My mother smiled and leaned back, giving me a good view of her body, which left no doubt as to where my sister got her cock-teasing charms. My mother was voluptuous, I think that's the word. Her body was fuller than my sister's, and with its maturity, it seemed to exude a riper sexuality. You know what I mean?
[NOTE: Gregory is obviously attracted to the female members of his family, noting that his father seemed "distant, too remote." He feels unloved, and he turns to his sister and mother for affection. Unfortunately, this affection is confused with his sexual impulses, and he reacts abnormally. Of course, they encourage his advances. Gregory's father seems to be a weak man, and the women of the family feel free to indulge their whims.]
"Did you enjoy your sister, Gregory?" my mother asked.
It seemed an odd question. I thought she would be very upset when she heard about our episode in the shed, but she seemed composed, calm.
"Gregory...?"
"Uh, yes, I did."
"Was she good?"
"What do you mean?"
"Did she satisfy you? Did you do everything you wanted to do with her?"
"Yes...."
"You see, Gregory, Ginny is my only daughter, and I raised her like I wanted to be raised, wild and free. I taught her about sex, showed her how to use birth-control pills, taught her everything...."
I was speechless, absolutely dumb. Something was happening, but I didn't know what it was. All I knew was that this woman, my mother, was exciting me greatly, and I didn't understand it. My dick was stiff in my pants, and my eyes roved her lush body.
"Do you hear?" she asked me, uncrossing her legs and moving closer to me on the couch. "Everything she did to you, I taught her...."
The message was undeniably clear, and I reached for her. She came into my arms, her mouth opening, and I kissed her hard, grinding my lips against hers. She smelled so good, so spicy and sexy!
"Ummmmm, Gregory, you kiss good!"
She seemed amused by my eagerness, my hands cupping her full breasts, squeezing and kneading them.
"You know, I've had every one of those boys," she said hoarsely. "And more. I've had them all. Ginny brings them home, and we ... entertain...."
She laughed, standing to unzip her dress. It was a flimsy thing, and when it fell off, she stood there in bra, panties, and high heels. Smiling at me like some burlesque queen, she eased the panties over her hips, and it was then I found my mother was a natural blonde.
Her pussy had more hair then Ginny's, and it looked sweeter. Everything about her seemed sweeter, and I thought my prick would burst from the pressure of my pants.
"Let me see it," she said, nodding at the lump in my crotch.
I got up and unzipped my trousers, groping inside my undershorts for my throbbing cock. I mean it was a real job getting that sucker out!
My mother's eyes seemed to light up when she saw it....
"Ummmm, she was right," she murmured. "It looks like I have sired a stud...."
I realized then that Ginny had told her everything. But I didn't think about anything then. My mind was occupied with one thing-my mother's body.
You know, I hate having to talk like this. I feel like a pervert or something. But you told me to be completely honest, and I am. I had only one thought at that time; I wanted to get my dick in my mother's pussy, to feel her under me, her hips moving, her tits flattened against my chest as we fucked.
[NOTE: Gregory's honesty is admirable, for he must be frank if he is to make any headway in psychotherapy. He feels ashamed to express his innermost thoughts, but those thoughts are the real ones, the ones we must deal with. In addition, his mother is obviously throwing her self at her son, so that his sexual interest in her is understandable. He trusts her, has no reason to fear her, and so reacts strongly to her seductive actions.]
"Ohhh, Mom," I moaned, and she came toward me.
Her hand closed about my dick, her body pressing against me. Christ, I was so excited I was trembling.
"Let's go into the bedroom," she purred, and I followed her down the hallway.
She discarded her bra on the way, and once we were inside she spread out on the bed, her sleek body whispering against the cool sheets. I crawled onto the bed, and she welcomed me with open arms.
"Put it in!" she gasped, her legs draping open. "Go ahead, dear ... put it in!"
She seemed as excited as I was. She was gasping for air, and her eyes were wild, blazing.
"Oh, yes!" she wailed. "Ohhhhh, yes!"
I had found the entrance to her vagina and worked my dick into her. Her cunt was hot and gooey, and I could smell its acrid odor. I sank in like a knife slicing through butter. Lord, but it felt good....
"Now fuck me!" she gasped. "Just like you did Ginny...."
She hugged me, her arms snaking about my neck, and I knew she was telling the truth about having taught Ginny how to screw. But she was better than my sister. She did things with her cunt that tortured me.
"Ohhhh, Mom, I'm ready!" I said, feeling my orgasm approach.
"Give it to me! Ummmmmmm, Gregory! Yessssss...."
I fucked it into her hard, and when my sperm shot into her, she helped and jerked her pussy over my cock. She didn't stop until I had been drained.
Later, we talked about the boys she slept with.
"Ginny brings the best ones to me, and I give them a good time-it's as simple as that," she said.
"But why do you do it?"
"Because I want to. Besides, what's the harm?"
"What about Dad?"
"What about him?"
"Does he know?"
"Of course not. And I don't think he'd do anything if he did...."
I sat there, talking with her about sex, and suddenly it all seemed disgusting. Once the passion of the moment had been spent, the whole scene reeked.
I decided to tell my father what was going on. I didn't care if I were punished. I knew I was sick, and I knew that I couldn't continue screwing my mother and sister if I was going to retain what little sanity I had left.
I told him the next day.
He had just arrived home from work, and I drew him aside and told him about his wife and daughter and son. He sat as if he had turned to stone. I guess I should have waited until after dinner, but I couldn't. I had to get it out of my system.
Finally, he got up, his hands hanging at his sides. And then his palm flashed against my face, spinning me off the ottoman.
"You sonofabitch!" he muttered, stalking out of the room and up the stairs.
I knew he was heading for my mother's room, and I followed him, creeping along until I got by their door, which was open a crack. I could hear their voices. It seemed that he had just told her what he knew, and he sat on the bed, his head hung.
She stood nearby, gazing out the window, sucking on a cigarette.
I was surprised that he was so docile. He had hit me, and I expected him to beat her. I didn't want him to do it, but his violent reaction downstairs seemed to guarantee a scene upstairs. But he just sat there, his eyes glistening, glancing up at her every so often as he mumbled his protests.
"You're right, that's just how it happened," she interrupted him at one point, her voice louder than his and stronger.
"Is that all you've got to say?" he snapped, trying to get the upper hand.
"No."
She turned from the window, swaying toward him, those soft hips rolling. She looked bewitching, dressed only in her lingerie.
"Do you want a divorce?" she asked bluntly.
"Well, no, not necessarily, but-"
"Forget the buts. I didn't think you'd want to go that far. You like me as your wife, don't you, Bill?"
She was standing right in front of him now, and he reached out and pulled her belly against his face. I heard him make a low, wheezing sound, and she smiled, running her hands through his hair as he kissed her soft flesh.
"You like to come home to me, to get into this big bed with me and fuck all night long, don't you? You'd miss that, terribly...."
"Yes," he moaned. "I need you. But why? Why did you have to do something like that? Our only daughter, and our son...."
"Don't think about them," she murmured. "They'll be all right. Ginny loves it; so does Gregory. Think about us, darling...."
He pulled her onto the bed with a growl, jamming his mouth against her lips. They twisted and turned on the bed, and when they were nude, he fucked her long and hard.
I watched them, my dick in hand, sweating as they made it together. And when they came, I came with them, my jism spurting onto the carpet.
Then I ran into the bathroom and threw up.
Later, Dad came to my room and told me that I had done nothing wrong, that everything would continue as it had been. When he got up and left the room, I went to the door.
He had gone into my sister's room!
I eased down the hallway and peered into the room. The door was ajar a foot or so, and I suppose my father had thrown caution to the winds at that point. What was there to hide?
"I'm so glad, Daddy," I heard Ginny whisper.
I moved closer, peering around the edge of the door jamb to gaze into the room. I saw my father loosening Ginny's nightgown, and when her tits were free, he lowered his mouth and sucked one into his mouth.
Good God! I thought. The whole house had gone mad....
So the old man was getting it from his daughter now, eh? I guess Mom threw her in as an added inducement to play along with her.
I watched him suck her tits for several minutes. He couldn't seem to get enough of her, and she loved it, her body squirming under him as he went from one tit to the other.
"Ohhhh, Daddy!" she moaned, and I almost had to laugh. Her groans were beginning to sound very familiar. But they drove him to a fury.
"Ginny!" he gasped, uncovering her body completely. "Geezus, you're so beautiful!"
"All for you," she murmured, pulling him atop her.
He had his dick out in a jiffy, and he pushed it into her without bothering to undress. I saw that it was the same size as mine, and that surprised me. I thought men's pricks were supposed to be larger than boys'.
"Uh, uh, uh!" Ginny grunted as he slid his prick into her.
I say one thing, that sister of mine can enjoy sex with anyone, at any time. Her strong legs scissored about him, and he clawed at her lush body, pawing her as if she were a common whore.
"Nowwwwwww!" she shrieked, loud enough to bring the damn neighbors. "Pleeeeeease! Nowwwwww!"
The old man didn't disappoint her, and I watched his body shudder as he came in her. She gritted her teeth, her belly jerking against him as he tensed, the come steaming out of his cock and into his daughter's pussy.
I stood there as if in a trance. On the one hand, what they were doing appalled me. Fathers were not supposed to fuck their daughters.
But on the other hand, it was sexy as hell, him driving his dick into his only daughter, who seemed to forget that she was his father.
No, that's not true, I don't think she did forget who he was. All of us knew precisely what we were doing. When I first fucked Ginny, I was very aware that she was my sister, and it heightened my excitement. The same held true when I made it with my mother, and I knew my father was experiencing it with my sister.
I guess that's what hung our family up, the enjoyment we got from fucking with each other; knowing it was taboo, yet doing it anyway.
I left home soon after that night. I stayed a couple more weeks, sinking farther into the morass, but it got to me finally, and I cut out.
I hitchhiked around, and when my money ran out, I was stuck. I lied about my age to get one job, but I lost it. The cops picked me up for vagrancy, then called my parents.
They came and got me, but I didn't stay. I ran away again, and when I was arrested, I told the cops what was going on. They sent me to the hospital, where I met Dr. Kunstler. He said I should see you....
REMARKS: I do not believe that this is a serious case. I think that with proper therapy, Gregory's incestual urges, cultivated by his family, can be redirected, so that he can enjoy relations with women outside his family. His feelings of inferiority, which made him vulnerable to his sister's advances, must also be resolved. He has been granted a guardian, and he no longer has to live with his family.
CHAPTER EIGHT
PATIENT: Maura S., nineteen, dancer.
REMARKS: A statuesque girl with long coal-black hair and a sensuous face, Maura spewed out her story in an angry voice, almost pleased at the opportunity to vent her spleen. Her first session with me was very productive. Following is a transcript of it.
MAURA: I guess I was always rebellious. I hated my family. They made me sick with their pious talk about good and evil. They were nasty people, totally without love. I left them when I was seventeen, and when I was eighteen, I took the job I have now, dancing topless in whatever joint will have me.
I don't dance often now. It's something of a front. I'm involved with this guy Rico. He's a very big man in the Organization. He knows ev erybody, and he's very powerful. I work with him, and it gets me about twenty-five thousand a year, tax free.
I'm Rico's mistress. He's married with a couple of kids, but he needs a woman like me. I give him that fresh, hot pussy he doesn't get at home any more.
Well, the trouble started when my brother, Jack, showed up. I had always disliked him greatly. He was a fool, a washout. He had a job as a computer programmer someplace, and he thought he was something special, a successful, god-fearing, law-abiding citizen. Shit!
"Maura, I hear you're running around with some gangster," he said to me.
I hadn't heard a peep from him in years, or from my parents, either. They liked my disappearing; it left the house less crowded and more peaceful. When I was starving, they kept to themselves. But now that I was making it at the expense of the family reputation, they were uptight.
Well, that was just too bad....
"And who told you about Rico?" I asked my brother.
He was twenty-five, and he figured that made him wiser than me, his being my senior. He gave me this condescending smile, then looked at his hands, as if he were having difficulty finding a way to reach his sinful, scarlet sister.
I wanted to kick him in the teeth.
Then I got another idea. Instead of putting my foot in his mouth, I'd shove a tit in it. Hah!
What fun it would be! I knew he was very backward sexually, because he used to tell me about his failures before I moved out. He confided in me. I knew that his kind of man was at the mercy of an aggressive woman, providing she played her cards right and had something to offer.
I knew my body was grade A, that he had seldom met a chick with a better chassis. So I went to work....
At first, I was going to humiliate him. That was my only intention. I'd dangle the bait, and when he nibbled, I'd jerk it away and leave him feeling like the fool he was. It would show him up as a hypocrite, trying to make his sister after mouthing all that self-righteous bullshit.
"I know how you and the dear family feel about Rico," I said, crossing my legs to give him a good glimpse of the merchandise. "But I'm not ready to give him up yet...."
That yet seemed to soothe him. He figured Rico was a passing fancy, that our parents wouldn't be humiliated by my marrying him or running away with him to Naples.
"I just hope you'll do the right thing," he said.
"I always do, don't I?"
He laughed, a sarcastic snicker that infuriated me. But I kept my cool.
"Listen, it's almost six," I said. "Time for a drink. You want one?"
I stood up, letting my gown fall open slightly, so that he could see my tits and belly. I pulled it shut quickly, pretending that it was an accident. He blushed. Do you dig it! He actually blushed, the jerk!
[NOTE: Maura's antagonism toward her family leads her to attempt to seduce her brother. By humiliating him, she will gain a measure of revenge for the cruel way her parents and he treated her. There is no doubt that she lived a loveless childhood, but her behavior now is certainly unbalanced. Her actions will only aggravate her ill feelings toward her family, not soothe them. Her hate feeds on itself, and she is caught up in it, powerless to stem her destructive urges.]
"What's the matter, Jack honey?" I cooed, turning my back on him to pour some booze. "You never saw a woman's body before?"
"Heh ... sure," he said, looking down at his hands again. "But you're just not any woman...."
"No?"
"Of course not. You're my sister...."
"Oh."
I handed him his drink, a heavy load of straight Scotch. He leaned back, and we chatted aimlessly while he got drunk. The more skin I showed him, the happier he seemed to become. He had no intention of leaving early, I realized, content to eye his sister's body while he got high on her booze. His face became flushed, and he was very talkative.
I turned the conversation to sex, and he calmed down. He seemed embarrassed again.
"Come on, you can talk to me, I'm your sister," I said. "What women have you been seeing lately?"
"None at all," he said, taking a deep swig from his glass, which I had refilled. "Haven't met any I -like...."
"Oh, there must be some...."
He hesitated.
"Yeh, but they're not interested in me."
"Why not?" Oh, but I was enjoying this! ; "Well, I guess they want a different type of man."
"What type?"
Another pause. "Guys who swing a little more than I do. You know, I'm not that outgoing...."
"All you need is a little more confidence," I said, getting to my feet. "You just haven't been around enough...."
"I guess that's true," he slurred, staring into the bottom of his empty glass.
"Here's some more booze," I said, dropping a couple of ice cubes into a glass and pouring Scotch over it. "Drink up...."
"I don't know if I want any more. I don't particularly like a lot of liquor...."
"Good. I've got something better...."
I went into the bedroom and pulled out the pot, the marijuana Rico had given me. It was already rolled, and I picked up a half dozen joints and offered one to my brother.
"What is it?" he said. God, such ignorance!
"Try one," I urged, sticking a joint between his lips. "Be daring for a change. If you don't dig it, okay-"
He knew what the stuff was by now, but he seemed ready to take a plunge. I had him right where I wanted him. He was so frustrated and unhappy, he'd try anything once.
"You don't smoke, do you?" I asked.
"A pipe," he said, lighting the reefer.
"Well, you got to smoke this like a cigarette, except that you hold it down for as long as you can, even though it may make you cough."
We smoked, and he got high, naturally.
That's when I moved in. "C'mon, let's dance," I said, turning on the stereo.
The music blared out, and he staggered to his ieet.
"Yeh, yeh!" he mumbled. "I wanna see you dance. Dance like you do at the clubs...."
I knew what he meant; he wanted to see me dance topless.
"Okay," I shucking off my gown.
When I unfastened my bra, I was wearing just panties and high-heeled shoes, which gave a lift to my body.
I began to bump and jerk, my tits flying around in front of his face, and he was so astounded, he could hardly dance. He stood there, moving his body slightly, while he watched me swing through a routine. I really turned it on, too, giving him everything I had.
"Yeh," he said softly, the din of the music obliterating most of his words. "Go! Go!"
I weaved toward him, moving very close, looking him right in the eye.
"You can touch if you want to," I said.
His head was so messed up, I think he reacted without considering what he was doing.
His hands reached out, and my tits dipped into his palms. He seemed to be in a trance, so I pressed myself against him and twisted my body, so that he could feel all of me. His breathing came sharp and quick, and sweat began to trickle down his forehead and cheeks. He wasn't a bad-looking guy, a bit taller than me and nicely built. It was the truth; all he needed was some confidence.
Well, I began to get pretty hot myself. It had started out as a joke, but I wasn't about to let it end that way. I wanted him, wanted to feel his dick in me. It turned me on, the way I was getting him up. I could feel his cock hard in his pants as I rubbed against him.
"Christ, Maura!" he gasped, not quite knowing what was happening. "Christ...."
I opened my mouth and let my tongue slide along my lower lip, my eyes drooping shut. That did it! He grabbed me and kissed me, and I melted against him, jerking my pussy over his dick.
"Maura, Maura, Maura," he moaned. "I want you so bad!"
He sounded like he was all torn up inside, as if he didn't really want to do what he was doing. I decided to help him.
"Come to bed with me," I whispered. "I'll show you how good it can be...."
"But-"
"I want you to make love to me! I hissed. "I want you to fuck me all night...."
"Yes ... yes, c'mon...."
We raced into the bedroom, and he tore off his clothes. His dick was bigger than I expected, but instead of grabbing him, I pushed him away. He was real high, and he just lay there, wondering what I was going to do.
"You bastard!" I muttered. "You come in here ready to put me down, and now you want me to put out for you. Well, the hell with that!"
I yanked his belt out of his pants and brought it down across his abdomen. It just missed his cock, and he yelled bloody murder. I kept beating him, though. It felt good. He didn't seem to want to resist, and the more I beat him, the hotter I became.
"Miserable bastard!" I screamed, whipping him as hard as I could. "I hate you!"
That belt whistled across his back, his ass, his legs, and finally I was so hot I didn't want to hit him any more.
I wanted him to fuck me.
Or I should say, I wanted to fuck him, wanted to fuck the living hell out of him!
I climbed onto him and found his prick to be hard as steel. I was stunned. I expected to find a wet dishrag, and here he was, a raving stud!
He must've dug being whipped!
When I realized that, I really went crazy. I got on top of him, letting that big dick slide up into me, and then I fucked him and me into oblivion. I rode that son of a bitch as if he were indestructible, bouncing hard, driving him way up into me, then pulling up, until the tip of his prick was at the lips of my cunt. Then I bucked hard, and pow! He'd sink into me like a dagger.
I don't know how many times I came. He shot it off right away, but I didn't let him relax. He managed to get one of those persistent hard-ons, the kind that refuse to go down even though there's nothing left inside. I emptied him, then had the best damn screw of my life.
"Get up, lover," I said later, shaking him. "My man is coming over. He'll really whip your ass if he finds you here...."
Jack was ashamed and scared, and he hustled into his clothes and out the door.
"Hi, honey!" I said to Rico, five minutes later, giving him a big, fat soul kiss.
My session with my brother had really turned me on, and I felt like a nymphomaniac. I pulled him into bed and fucked him the same way I had fucked Jack. It was marvelous. Somehow, Jack was just right for me. I didn't enjoy Rico as much, although he was damn good. Making Jack gave me a feeling of power that I didn't experience with Rico.
I suppose Rico was a man, while Jack was a boy-man. I felt stronger than my brother, which allowed me to dominate him. And that I liked very much....
[NOTE: Maura's parents have obviously infected Jack's ego, as well as their daughter's. She satiates her sadistic impulses on him, while he submits, glad to act out a role that was prepared for him by his parents. He has absolutely no confidence in himself as a man; Maura does not feel herself a true woman. In order to realize their masculinity and femininity, one dominates while the other submits. Jack feels as though he should be punished for being so timid, a contrivance of his parents, and it is the whipping by Maura that excites him to potency. Maura was always made to feel as though she were a bad girl, and she slips into this role in whipping her brother.]
"Listen, I need some help," Rico said to me after we had made it. "I need a man to deliver some stuff. I got a couple kilos of heroin, but I don't want to risk sending any of my men. You got any hard-up friends who want to make some quick money?"
I thought a minute, then said no. He shrugged and got dressed, saying he had to attend to some business. When he was gone, I sat thinking, and then it occurred to me!
Why not get Jack into the Organization? Wouldn't that just put the icing on the cake?
I called him the next day and invited him over. He asked for some more pot right away, and we smoked, then played around a little.
"A fantastic body," he murmured as I sat on his lap.
I let my legs fall open a bit, and he shoved his hand beneath my robe. I wore no panties, hoping to get him hot in a hurry.
"Ohhhhh, yehhhhhh," he groaned, sliding a finger into my cunt. "Wow, that's so nice...."
"You're having the time of your life, aren't you, Jack?"
He stopped short, not knowing what to make of that question. "Yeh, that's true, I am...."
"Still want to live at home?"
"No. I wanna get out. Tired of it."
The pot had gotten to him, causing his speech to become disjointed. But I knew he meant what he said.
"Why don't you?" I asked. "Why don't you get a place of your own? Think of the fun we could have-parties, girls...."
"Yeh...."
He seemed intrigued with the idea. I was appealing to all the wildness in him that had been inhibited, shut off. He dug the idea of making the party scene.
"And I've even got a job for you," I said. "It pays five hundred a week...."
"What? How much?"
"Five hundred."
He whistled through his teeth.
"Well, you know you need that kind of money when you start living high," I said.
"Yeh, I guess so...."
"So you'll take the job?"
I explained the work to him, and he agreed it was all right. He was too eager for the money and the good times to turn it down.
"Now let's get down to business," he said, working his finger deep into my cunt.
by this time, I was really turned on. I had the jerk eating out of the palm of my hand. He'd do anything, as long as it promised to be exciting.
"Yes," I hissed. "Let's get to it...."
We went into the bedroom, and this time I had a surprise for him. I had bought a horse whip and some rope. I tied the fool down and whipped him, beat hell out of him.
And he reveled in it, screamed so loud I didn't know whether he was going to die or come.
Finally, while he was still tied, I got on him, straddled that big prick of his and sank onto it.
"Gahhhhhhh!" he cried. "Ohhh, Maura!"
He came instantly, but, as he had before, he maintained his erection, and I had myself one beautiful ball. Sweat poured out of me as I rode him, and I didn't quit until I was exhausted.
Jack went to work for Rico next week. He delivered the heroin without a hitch.
We threw a party that night, and Jack was there. Cunt was all over the place, and he had a handful every time I saw him. He was high on booze and pot, his eyes half-closed, like a junkie.
"Hey, Maura," he said to me at one point. "What's that stuff those guys are using?"
I looked over at a couple of black guys snorting heroin.
"That's the shit you delivered!" I said. "Want some?"
"What's it like?"
"It's good. Here, I'll get you some...."
I went over and took a bag from them. I pulled a nail file out of my purse, dipping it into the bag, extracting a tiny amount and holding it under his nose.
"Now inhale!" I said, and he snorted hard.
"Wow! It bites!"
"Feel it in your throat?"
"Yeh. Sour taste...."
Then I took some. I had used it before, but not to the point that I became addicted. "Hey, I like it," he said, his voice heavy. "Have some more."
Well, we got real high, and then we headed for a bed. We were at Rico's place, so I knew I had to be careful. I didn't want to embarrass him and get caught by his friends fucking another man.
"Downstairs," I murmured, and we went into the cellar.
It was dark, but the moonlight streamed through some small windows, giving a weird half light to the room. Jack grabbed me, kneading my tits through my dress. The shit had made me real horny, and I felt as though I were going to explode.
"Over there," I gasped, spotting an old mattress lying on the floor.
We went to it and tumbled onto our backs. Then we undressed hurriedly. I didn't bother whipping him this time; there wasn't any need.
We lusted for each other's bodies, and we didn't bother with preliminaries.
This time, the fact that he was my brother excited me more than it ever had. I knew that I had gotten him into a hell of a spot, running dope. But the bastard deserved it. I was out to get his ass. I couldn't wait to see the looks on my parents' faces when they found out what he was doing. I wanted them to know about us, too, to know that we were sleeping together, screwing like a couple of pigs.
We fucked, and then I realized that I wanted more than one man that night. I wanted to fuck every damn stud in the house. I sent him upstairs, telling him to find the youngest man in the room and bring him downstairs.
"She's over there," I heard him say in the darkness, and a boy no more than sixteen walked toward me.
"You like pussy?" I asked him, not really knowing what I was saying. "Yeh, sure I do."
"This one?"
I spread my thighs wide, my cunt dripping open in front of him. Well, he didn't answer. He just got out of his clothes and fell on top of me.
"Yesssssss, fuck me!" I screamed, out of my mind. "Fuck meeeee!"
He jabbed his dick into me, powering into my pussy with crisp, short strokes. He wasn't very big, but it didn't matter. Suddenly, I wanted to feel men come in me, wanted to feel the heat of their semen as it poured into my pussy. I was a raving lunatic, craving only one thing-sex.
After he had spent himself I called to Jack.
No answer.
"Jack!" I yelled. "Jack, where the hell are you?"
And then another man appeared, ready to take the place of the boy. I opened my legs and giggled, while the guy fumbled with his clothing. When his prick popped free, I got on my hands and knees and crawled over to him.
"Such a nice cockie," I murmured, laughing to myself.
I squeezed it hard, and he gasped. And then another impulse took hold of me. I wanted to suck him, suck the dick right off him. I shoved it in my mouth, and he groaned.
"Oh, Geezus! What a fucking cunt!"
I ran my tongue along the underside of his dick, fondling his balls with my fingers, but I didn't let go of him. I had a death grip on that damn dick!
"Come in my mouth," I demanded, and he obliged.
His dick throbbed once, then spurted. The steaming come shot into my mouth, and I gulped it down, loving the strong taste of it, the bitter flavor. I ate him like candy. When he stepped back, I thought he was going to take a tumble.
"Get up to the party!" I said. "And forget what just happened, if you're smart...."
I recognized him. He was a nobody. He'd do as I said.
I finger fucked myself while I waited for Jack to bring me another stud. It wasn't long in coming- "Where the hell are you?" a gruff voice said. "Shut up! Just get over here and get your cock out!"
I was taking an awful chance, fucking just anybody who showed up. But Jack was choosing just the right men, guys who didn't have a strong voice in the Organization.
"What the hell is going on?" the man, a short, well-built guy, said.
"Just this," I answered, lying back and planting my feet on the mattress.
I gave him a fine look at my cunt, and he cursed. He was hot and horny, but I decided to have some fun with him.
"You can't touch, honey," I said. "Rico wouldn't like that. But you can look...."
Well, I went into one pose after another, and that stud took out his dick and jerked off right in front of me. He'd tell me how he wanted me to pose, and I'd strike it.
"Yeh, baby, that's nice," he'd say, "real nice."
[NOTE: Maura's sexual relations with her brother have triggered her exhibitionistic tendencies, which stem from the inadequacy she feels as a woman. She is in serious trouble now, for she has taken the first step in developing a dependency on heroin. Hex need for marijuana was psychological, and it was these same needs that led her to use heroin. But heroin creates a physical dependency, so that her psychological problems became tangled with a drug habit.]
It wasn't too long after that night that Rico told me he needed somebody to take the rap on a narcotics bust that would take place shortly. He knew the bust was coming. His informers had advised him of it.
"We'll use your brother," he said, and I agreed.
Well, they picked Jack up all right, but he didn't play the fool. He talked hard and long, and he got a lot of people in trouble. Rico was arrested but released later. He ditched me, and I guess I was lucky to escape with my life.
But I didn't have the money to support my habit, a habit I promised myself I'd never get. It crept up on me, and before I knew it, I was snorting heroin all day.
I freaked out one night, and they took me to the hospital. They cleaned me out, broke me out of my habit in a couple weeks. It was right after that that I decided to speak with you.
REMARKS: Maura is an intelligent girl, and I think she will be able to understand her motivations if she continues in therapy. She has firmly resolved to resist the use of all drugs. She has broken all ties with the underworld, working now as a secretary in a large corporation.
She knows that her problems are a result of her childhood unhappiness, and she is eager to reconstruct her life, free of hate and remorse.
CHAPTER NINE
PATIENT: Henry P., seventeen, student.
REMARKS: A thin, frail-looking boy, Henry related his story in a soft voice, his depression obvious. He was not able to articulate his experiences until our third session, and a transcript of that session follows.
HENRY: My parents died when I was sixteen, and I think that contributed more than any other factor to my collapse. Not that I had ever been all that close to them, but I had always hoped we would develop some sense of family, some way of expressing the love we felt for each other.
But it never happened; I'll always remember them as cold, seemingly indifferent people, unreachable. I always felt as though I were another piece of furniture in the house, something that had to be fed and clothed instead of dusted and reupholstered.
After they died, I moved in with my sister, Diane, who was twenty-eight at the time. This was only last year. She seemed glad to have me. She lived alone, but she was by no means lonely. I found that out right away.
"I'm having company tonight," she said to me the second day I was there. "A producer. It's important that he enjoy himself. I'd appreciate it if you spent the night in your room, watching television. Okay?"
What could I say? She was an actress, very aspiring, and the least I could do was stay out of her way. That night, I loaded up on books and took the TV guide into my room. Around nine o'clock, the doorbell rang; the big shot had arrived.
Music went on several minutes later, and I heard their dull chatter. I couldn't understand what they were saying, but the tone was very intimate.
Finally, they were silent.
I sat reading, trying to concentrate, but I couldn't. What the hell were they doing? Had they left?
I went to the door and opened it cautiously. I looked out at the couch and saw them. Diane was on her back, with the man sitting next to her. Her dress was open to the waist, her brassiere hanging loosely, and the producer's face was buried in her tits.
Well, I nearly dropped. Man, I wasn't what you would call a ladies' man. I had hardly dated, feeling very insecure and shy. I was very frustrated, and when I saw my sister pulling this cat's face into her tits, my dick sprang to attention like a soldier.
She couldn't see me standing there in the darkness, and I pulled my dick out, working my hand over it as I watched them get hotter and hotter. Diane was making low mewing noises, sounding like a cat in heat.
"Oh, George," she murmured, smiling down at him. "Ohhhh, George!"
So that was how she got her parts! I didn't see anything wrong with it, to tell you the truth. As a matter-of-fact, I wished I could trade places with old George. My sister has a great body, a real goddess of a woman. Her looks are her greatest asset, and I learned that night that she used them to her best advantage.
"Oh, darling, stop!" she said, unconvincingly. "We must stop...."
George didn't agree. He shoved one hand up her dress, and she didn't protest. On the contrary, her legs opened, and she threw back her head, her breath hissing between her teeth as he fingered her.
"Geezus, you're a sexy bitch!" George moaned, hitting the nail on the head. "C'mon, get that dress off...."
"Oh, George...."
"Listen, baby, you got the part. That's what you wanted, right? Now, let's be friendly. I don't want to go home to my wife feeling like I do now...."
She giggled and kissed him, her mouth sliding against his. I could see their tongues dart out, teasing.
Man, this is some show! I thought.
I was a virgin, and I knew right then that I was going to get first-hand instruction in the art of fucking. George wasn't about to exit without relieving himself.
"Christ, you're gorgeous!" George gasped when they had stripped down, and that was the truth of it.
I envied him. I wanted to rush in there and kick his ass out the door. How dare he mess with my sister? I'll take care of that business. Hah! I didn't really believe I'd ever lay a hand on my sister, and so I didn't feel guilty about spying on her. She was just another woman, as far as I could see, twelve years older than me and much more experienced. I was the pupil, and she, unknowingly, was my teacher.
"Spread those beautiful legs of yours, honey, so I can get a look at that delicious pussy," George said.
George was obviously enjoying himself, and I couldn't blame him. My sister had black hair, and her pubic hair was as black as sin. She lay there smiling coyly, her legs wide open. She was bewitching.
"Lemme taste a little of that," George murmured, and he shoved his face into her pussy. Unbelievable! I didn't think people did such things. That shows you how naive I was. Sex scared me, and I hadn't bothered learning a damn thing about it, except what I overheard in locker rooms or in the hallways at school. Guys were always bragging about what they did to this girl or that girl. But none of them had ever mentioned anything about kissing a girl's cunt....
"Ohhhhh, mmmmmmmm," Diane groaned, thrusting her pussy against his mouth.
He sucked her for several minutes, and finally her body was twitching like crazy, her cries coming short and fast. Her body tensed, and she let go a wail, a high-pitched yowl that made my dick jump. I realized she was having an orgasm, and it really turned me on.
I didn't want to come right then, but my excitement got the best of me, and my come spattered onto the floor. I leaned back against the wall as I came, my eyes glued to the pair on the sofa.
I had masturbated before, plenty of times. But never had I experienced an orgasm as intense. I must've made some sort of sound, because both of them looked over, peering into the darkness. I froze.
"What's that?" George asked.
My sister hesitated, then grabbed him by the head and stuffed his face into her pussy again.
"My brother's watching television in the bedroom," she said, her voice almost unrecognizable. "Don't worry, he won't bother us. I told him to stay there, and he will."
But she flashed another look in my direction, and I guessed she knew I was there. I stood stock-still, staring intently as he worked her up again. He had a good build, a strong body, and when he had her panting again, he took his face out of her cunt and crawled up her body, his dick dangling over her.
"Do me a favor, honey," he said, her mouth directly under his prick now.
She didn't wait a moment. Her hands went around his cock, and she slid it into her mouth. He moaned as she sucked him, her cheeks concave as her tongue laved his prick. Man, I could almost feel her mouth on him! I don't know how he stood it so long. I would have come instantly if she had done it to me.
"That's enough!" he gasped after a minute of it. "Let's fuck, baby!"
She laughed, and suddenly I felt jealous. Isn't that incredible? My older sister is making it with a grown man, and I feel jealous. I told myself I was a fool, that I should go back into my bedroom.
But I stayed. I wanted to see him fuck her....
[NOTE: As I stated in my introduction, most brother-sister sexual relationships are a result of inadequate parental affection. This case is no exception. As Henry has stated, his parents were "cold ... unreachable." Loneliness plagues him, and he develops a great sense of inferiority, avoiding social contact. His sister, however, is very reachable, to use his terms. She entertains men at home, almost inviting his interest. He feels at ease with her, knowing that she does not consider him inferior, that he is merely her brother and will not be judged by her as brutally as by the outside world.]
"Yes, yes, that's it!" she moaned, and I saw him jerk his hips, his dick going into her.
"Mmmmmmmm...." she smiled, a look of pure contentment on her face. She was digging it, that was for sure!
They fucked long and easy. He was good, it looked to me. He had her purring and gurgling, and when he finally unloaded, she seemed to shoot right through the damn roof.
"Ohhhhhhh, uhhhhh, yessssss!"
Man, it was something else! I couldn't believe fucking was so good. When I heard the guys talk, it sounded like you just stuck it in and pulled it out, experiencing an orgasm sometime in between. Evidently, they didn't know a damn thing about screwing, 'cause my sister and old George were tossing around like fish on the shore, their bodies jerking, slapping together.
When they relaxed, I went back to my bedroom. I picked up a book and read three words, then decided that literature offered very little of interest to me at that point, A couple nights later, Diane had another guest, a short, paunchy man who didn't look her type. I didn't catch who he was, but she treated him well. After dinner, they settled into the sofa, and it wasn't long after that that he had his hands on her.
"Now, Will...." she said, without really resisting his advances.
"Aw c'mon, Diane. I told you I'd take care of that little matter, didn't I?"
"Really?"
"Sure...."
"Oh, you're sweet...."
She took his fat face in her hands and kissed him full on the lips, her tongue slithering into his mouth. He went berserk, grabbing at her, his arms whipping around her back.
"Oh, Will!" she laughed. "You naughty man!"
He grunted like a boar, his face glistening with sweat. His lips looked puffy, and I didn't like him at all. Diane seemed to dig him, though.
"Mmmmmmm, Will ... "
He was kissing her legs, letting his tongue slide between her thighs. She squeezed the back of his neck, pulling him higher as he pried her legs open.
"Ooooohhh," she moaned, a shiver passing through her. "I like that...."
He spread her out on the couch and worked her dress up over her hips and her panties down her legs. She lay there with her cunt gaping open, the pinkness of it gleaming in the soft light of the lamp. He seemed mesmerized by her pussy, as if he had never laid eyes on one before.
"It's lovely," he murmured, licking his lips.
That's the truth, Doc. The little bastard actually licked his fucking lips, like he was drooling over dinner.
"I'm glad you like it," Diane cooed, closing her legs, then letting them drift apart.
Her hand moved to her cunt, and she toyed with it, opening the lips of her vagina, a long finger slipping into it. He gasped, still sitting as if he were petrified.
"Ummmmmm, I'm getting hot!" she giggled. "Oooooohh...."
She had both hands down there now, and her cunt was stretched wide, an open door.
"Go ahead if you want," she whispered. "Kiss it...."
That blew my mind. And Will's.
"God, oh God," he moaned, his head slipping between her thighs.
She seemed different with him than George, more dominant. It was as if he had to wait for permission before he could do anything to her. And he did just what she told him.
"So sweet...." he mumbled, burrowing into her cunt like a mole. "Tastes so sweet...."
She laughed, arching her back so that he could have greater access. Her body looked so good, I wanted to go in there and help myself to a few mouthfuls. Her muscles flexed, her tits jiggling, as she pushed against him.
"That's right!" she chirped, giving him directions. "On that spot! That's fine-"
Her body began to shudder, and he grabbed her tits, kneading them hard as she rocked through one climax after another. I got the impression that he went in there never to be seen again. It was as if he were her slave, willing to do her bidding. He made no move to raise his head out of the grip of her thighs. He seemed perfectly content.
Finally, she released him, and he sat back, his face wet with pussy juice and come. He looked as if he'd just taken a ride on a runaway train. He was exhausted. I looked down at the front of his pants and saw an enormous stain.
Why, the little cuntsucker! I laughed to myself. He got it off after all!
He got up and headed for the door after a while. Diane followed him, giving him another big kiss before he left. His hand fingered her pussy, and she rubbed his dick. I heard him grunt a few times and figured she was giving him one last dry fuck. Now he could go home to his wife and go to sleep, content and satiated.
I started back to my room, but her voice stopped me.
"Enjoy the show?"
Wow! My heart jumped up into my throat. I couldn't answer her; I was choking.
She walked toward me, swinging those juicy hips like a whore. I just stood there, my zipper down, my face beet-red. What the hell had I done now? Why wasn't I more careful, for God's sake?
"You got yours, too, I see," she said, nodding at the vicinity of my dick. "I, uh-"
"Don't bother. I know what you're going to say. Come over here. Sit next to me...." Well, I was really shaking. If she threw me out, I was in deep trouble. I had two years left to go in high school, and I couldn't really make it working nights. There wouldn't be enough dough. She paid rent and bought food, bought me everything, really. I studied hard, and I didn't have time to hold a job at night. I wanted to get a scholarship, so that college wouldn't cost much. But I needed great marks for that, and I knew that would come with a lot of hard work.
Anyway, I sat down next to her, and all these bad thoughts were ringing through my head.
"Did you like watching?" she asked.
She has her legs crossed, and her damn skirt is up around her neck. I glance down at all that lovely flesh and a lump forms in my throat.
"Well?"
"Yes...."
"You saw me with George, too, didn't you?"
"Yes, I did."
I looked her straight in the eye this time, deciding to play it cool.
"Curiosity killed the cat, you know."
I nodded. What else could I do? Spit?
"You watch me because you're attracted to me, aren't you?"
Man, the tone of her voice made my dick swell so fast, I thought I was gonna float away, "That's right," I answered.
"You want me, don't you? You want to do to me what you saw those men doing, eh?"
"Yes," I gulped.
"Good...."
She eased against me, her hand dropping to my lap. She found my prick strong and hard.
"Mmmmmm, you've got the right equipment," she sighed, and then her lips were against mine, her tongue prying at my mouth.
I thought I was going to drop. Man, the smell of her had me dizzy. She was luxurious, absolutely enticing. How's that for a sharp description? It's the truth; I felt as though I had wandered into some Far Eastern harem, and the best chick in the joint was throwing herself at me.
I opened my arms and caught her.
"Ohhhhhh, Hank!" she gasped, working that hot mouth of hers over mine. "I want you! Geezus, but I want you, too...."
That was good news to me. I pushed her onto her back, as I'd seen the men do. She smiled and unfastened her dress. I was ready to just push it up her hips. I knew that naked gash was waiting for me, hot and wet.
"I want you to see all of me," she growled, and I agreed that she had a good idea there.
The dress opened down the front, and when she peeled it off, I buried my face in her belly, slipping my fingers into the band of her panties.
"Yessss," she hissed. "Take them off me...."
I worked them down her hips and off, while she divested herself of her brassiere. While I hopped out of my clothes, I looked down at her. I could hardly believe my eyes. I expected to wake up at any moment and find that I had dreamt everything.
But I wasn't dreaming.
I didn't dream that she stuffed a tit into my mouth, working my lips over it and begging me to bite it.
I didn't dream that she squeezed my dick until I thought I'd come, then eased it into her cunt.
I didn't dream that she worked that pussy over me until I thought I'd die, and when I came, she crushed her mouth against mine and sucked my tongue.
Man, I didn't dream any of that, because it happened. We spent the night fucking, sucking, eating, and recuperating.
"Hey, lover, wake up," she said to me the next morning.
I blinked my eyes and looked around. She was in bed with me, in my bed. I didn't remember precisely how we got there, but I liked being there. Her tits were hanging free, and I took one and caressed it.
"Have a good time last night?" she asked.
"I think so."
"What?"
"I think I blacked out after the third round."
She laughed and hopped out of the bed.
"Gonna shower? Wanna come?"
I was on her heels like a puppy dog.
Man, that shower was a gas. She soaped me up, arid vice versa. Our bodies were slick with soapsuds, and we slithered against each other, digging the feeling. I sucked one of her tits, soap and all, and I had her moaning like she was in pain.
She reached down and grabbed my dick, which was considerably hard, to say the least. And with the suds on it, well, her hand did nice, wild things to me.
"Fuck me in here," she said.
"How?"
"I'll lean forward, and...."
And so I learned how to fuck in the shower. I nearly lost my footing and killed myself a couple times, but we made it. Oh yes, we did make it.
Man, we made it in the morning, at lunch, and in the evening. We made it every way possible, it seemed, and when she had me trained just right, she put me to work.
"Listen, I want you to come with me to a party tonight," she said one Saturday. "Some very important people will be there, but that doesn't mean it won't be fun. It'll be a lot of fun. Just do as I tell you, and everything will be all right."
"What do I have to do?"
"Never mind. Just follow my orders. If you don't, I swear I'll bounce you out of this apartment on your ass. You can go out and work for a living, pay your own bills."
It was then that I realized what a sweet daughter my sweet parents had raised. What a lovely clan we were....
[NOTE: Diane's mistreatment at the hands of her parents has obviously embittered her. She does not recognize Henry as her brother, prefer ring to think of him simply as another man in her life, someone else she can use to aid her career.]
So we went to the fucking party. It was a gas, and I was having a good time, dancing with a lot of chicks, when Sis called me to one side.
"Take one of these," she said, handing me what looked like a cube of sugar.
"What is it?"
She gave me this bleak look, and I downed the cube.
"Ech! It tastes terrible...."
Well, a few minutes later, the ceremony began. Lights, rockets, flashes, shouts, screams, suicides, mirrors, gas, porches, all those things exploded inside my head.
I was on an LSD trip, and by the time I knew it, it was too late.
I don't remember much about that night.
I vaguely recollect ending up in bed with a man, who fucked me right in my ass, while I sucked a cunt that belonged to a faceless woman.
The thing is, I liked being fucked in the ass!
Then they dressed me up in women's clothes, panties and all, and I sauntered around like a whore on the make. I made another man, or I should say, a boy.
He was beautiful, with fair skin and a magnificent body. I think several people watched me do it to him, because I heard all sorts of shouts and yells. Maybe it was me screaming. I don't know.
[NOTE: At this point, Henry senses that his sister is extremely hostile to him, that she is trying to destroy him. But he does not have the strength to resist. He has allowed himself to become dependent on her not only for sexual gratification but for material things, such as food, a place to five, etc. She had subverted whatever confidence he had in himself, and he now hangs on her every whim. He uses drugs indiscriminately, afraid that she will reject him if he does not play along with her.]
The next morning, I felt for the first time that I would like to die. It wasn't anything passionate; I just thought it would be better in the long run if there wasn't any long run. Why not die, just cease?
"Hi, Henry!" my sister said when she came in at noon.
I didn't answer, and she glared at me. "I said, hello!"
"Yeh, sure...."
"What the hell is the matter with you?"
"Nothin'...."
"Get over here," she said softly. "Come to Mama. She'll make you feel better...."
I looked over at her, and the bitch was taking off her clothes, very slowly. I hated her at that moment, but I loved her too. I ogled her body like a boy. She noticed my interest, and that shit-eating grin of hers widened. Her dress opened, and I could see her fine tits, pushing up out of her bra.
I was hooked; I got up and went to her.
"Tell me what's the matter," she cooed, but I shook my head, preferring instead to slide my hands under those lovely tits.
"Ummmmmm, that's better," she murmured.
Her lips closed over mine, and she leaned against me, all that warm, soft, fragrant womanflesh easing into my lap.
Man, I didn't want to touch her, not really. But I felt as though I had to, or else she'd hurt me. I guess I feared going out into the world on my own. Hell, I was only a kid, and I didn't know how to take care of myself.
[NOTE: This is partly a delusion that Diane's words have fed. It was spawned while he lived with his parents, who constantly led him to believe that it was they who were so necessary to him, who were keeping him alive. All boys are dependent upon their parents when they are small, but as they grow, the dependency lessens, so that someday they are not afraid to enter the world as free men, free from any unhealthy ties to their parents. Henry's feeling of inadequacy is so strong that he resists any impulse to stand up to his sister, to confront her with the complaints he harbors. He shrinks from asserting himself, because he feels that if he does, he will be obliterated.]
"Suck my tits a little, honey," she whispered, snaking her arms around my neck. "You'll be all well in no time...."
I bent my head and sucked one into my mouth. It was hot, burning hot, the flesh seeming to be afire. I realized that I turned her on as much as she excited me! It was at times like that that I believed we really had a good thing going, a special relationship.
"Sssssssss, nice" she moaned as I chewed one of her thick nipples. "Aaaaaaahhhh!"
The bitch was really a hot piece, I'll say that. Christ, her cunt never quit. She was always ready for it, aa if some kind of mad lust consumed her. It seemed that a man could easily dominate her if he played her on sexual compulsions, but no man did. They may have tried, but she frustrated them all. She was her own woman....
"Put your finger in my cunt while you suck," she whimpered, and I shoved my hand beneath her dress, finger-fucking her as I let my tongue slide along the velvet surface of her tit.
She started to come, and I worked my finger through her with rapid strokes, my palm caressing her swollen clitoris.
"Ooh, ooh, ooh!" she groaned, her body writhing over my dick, which was absolutely steel-like.
She'd come, then relax as I toyed with her, finally squirming like a snake once again when another climax approached. Never heard of a chick who could experience so many damn orgasms. I read somewhere that a lot of women never achieve a climax! In their entire lifetimes! Why I'll never know. Diane couldn't go a day without a dozen.
"Lemme have your cock," she gasped, sliding off my lap onto the floor.
Her fingers fumbled with my fly, and when she got my dick out, she spread my legs wide and sucked it hard as I sat there. I grabbed her by the hair and eased her mouth over it, making her do exactly what I wanted.
I pulled her out to the tip, letting her tongue flick against the head of my cock. When that became too much, I yanked her closer, my prick jamming into her mouth, going right to the back of her throat. That felt marvelous. Her mouth was so damn hot, my mind was somewhere else the whole time she was sucking me off.
And I wanted her to suck me right to the end.
She had the same idea.
"Come!" I heard her gurgle, her tongue licking my dick. "Come in my mouth! I want it...."
I obliged. Man, she had me drifting about six inches off the damn chair when she sucked that come out of me. And she didn't lose a drop either. I heard her gulping and gasping, nearly gagging on my stuff. My come was thick, and it fairly jetted into her mouth, a long stream of it.
I was pistoning my hips against her, actually fucking my prick into her mouth. Her lips were closed tightly about it, her mouth nearly gaping as she tried to fit all of me into her.
"Yesssssss...." I moaned as she drew the last of it out. "Oh, yes!"
You know how sensitive your dick is after it's been sucked, right? Well, I wanted to pull it out of her mouth, but she wouldn't let go. She kept playing with it, and she drove me crazy. There were moments when I thought I couldn't stand it. But she didn't let up. She ignored me, doing exactly as she pleased.
And in a few minutes, I was stiff as a board again.
She took my cock in both hands and laved it, bathing it with her tongue. The air felt cold against it, and when she sank back onto it, the sensation was indescribably delicious.
"Gonna come!" I moaned, pulling at her hair, working her mouth over my dick. "Gonna cummmmm!"
I could hear her wheezing and snorting like an animal. She was enjoying it as much as I, if that was possible.
When I came, I know I blacked out for a second or so. The sensation was too intense. It felt as if every nerve in my body would snap, and I suppose my system just conked out momentarily. It was a matter of self-preservation. The body will only take so much....
"We're workin' tonight," she said later.
"Working?"
"Yeh, another party. You'll really dig this one. No fag stuff this time, I promise. A lot of nice girls will be there, and you'll have a ball...."
My hopes gushed up, and I hugged her. Perhaps things were getting better.
They weren't. I didn't meet any fags at the party, that was true. But most of the chicks were dykes, and I was just a side-show attraction. I freaked out and got real high, and I remember somebody beating me with a stick. I had the sores the next day as a remembrance.
Well, things got worse and worse, and finally one night I very calmly took an overdose. Of heroin. I had never shot the stuff into my arm, but I did that night.
I convulsed, then collapsed. I came to in a hospital, and after they took care of me, they assigned me to the psychiatric ward. They let me go, but they told me I had to see you at least twice a week.
That's fine with me. I'm not scared of myself any more. My sister can go to hell, for all I care. I'm gonna start looking out for myself now.
At least, I hope I am....
[REMARKS: I think there is no doubt that Henry is ready to take on the responsibilities of maturity. Not that he is a man; but he is maturing, and he feels that he needs help in equipping himself for manhood. His parents did a poor job of preparing him, and although therapy is not a simple substitute for the parents, it can contribute heavily to the development of his well-being. He will continue in thrice-weekly sessions, returning to school at night to complete his high school graduation requirements.]
CHAPTER TEN
PATIENT: Susan R., forty-four, illustrator.
REMARKS: Susan has kept her appearance up extremely well, and she is still a handsome women, well endowed. At first, the idea of spilling out her feelings seemed to intimidate her, but after several low-keyed sessions, she was willing to talk freely. A transcript of her fifth session follows.
SUSAN: When I was twenty, I found myself lusting after my brother. How's that for a straight statement? Right down the goddamn pipe, right?
Well, it was true. I wasn't the retiring type, and I had slept around quite a bit. I don't know what stimulated me to suddenly want to get in bed with Brian, who was nineteen then.
Perhaps it was his inexperience.
He was very shy, the wallflower of the family. My mother and father were outgoing, but Brian kept to himself. I think my parents intimidated him slightly. And me, too.
You see, Dad was very successful in business. He manufactured toys, and although they didn't mind seeing me waste my time skipping around three or four colleges, getting bad marks, they couldn't stand any failure by him. They weren't callous about it; they just applied a lot of insidious pressure, the kind you aren't totally aware of until it cracks your brain open.
At any rate, I began to feel sorry for Brian, but it wasn't in a precisely sisterly way. I'd noticed that he couldn't hold a girl, dating them only once or twice. I guessed he was a virgin, and that turned me on, too. And he seemed so lonely. I wanted to make him happy.
[NOTE: Susan does not realize that she, too, feels animosity toward her parents. In their own way, they have ignored her, making it clear that Brian holds the key to the family's continued fortunes and that he is the indispensable member of the clan. She is sympathetic toward her brother, but she is also extremely jealous of the attention he receives, however disagreeable it may be. She feels neglected, and with good reason. But in her life, sex has become something of a cure-all, and sex must also be enmeshed in her approach to her brother, she feels.]
"Hey, Brian!" I called to him one morning. "How was the date last night? Good?"
He hung his head, snatching a towel off his bed and throwing it in the corner with some other dirty wash.
"Yeh. Peachy."
He looked so sad, I wanted to cry. I had stuck my head into his room, and now I let the rest of me wander in.
"I haven't heard you laugh in so long, Brian," I said. "You seem so depressed...."
"Yeh."
I didn't know how to reach him. He seemed locked up inside somewhere, and no one had the key.
"Are you a virgin, Brian?"
He glanced at me, his eyes narrowing. Then he chuckled.
"Hey! I knew I could get a ripple!" I said, smiling.
"It wasn't a runny question," he said solemnly, and I realized his laugh had been bitter.
I sat watching him straighten up his desk. He was very creative, much more so than me at that point. There were poems he had written tacked onto some cork, a painting, a figure he had whittled out of wood.
"Are you afraid of sex?" I ventured.
Again those deep eyes turned on me, and something inside of me felt as though it had been supercharged. I was hot, real hot. It was at that moment that I knew I would get him, that we would become lovers.
"Yes, I'm afraid of it, in a way," he said.
A straight answer! I was making progress....
"How? What do you-?"
"I'm scared I won't be able to satisfy a girl," he interrupted. "Scared that I won't be able to get it up at the right time."
I stood up, not knowing what to say, and moved behind him. He looked at me over his shoulder, slightly wary. I slid my arms around his waist, hugging him, letting my hands caress his hard stomach. He had a damn good build, and it was a shame he lacked confidence. He had all the makings of a hell of a man. If only he could get rid of his fears....
"I think you'd be fine," I said softly.
He smiled. And then I saw that he was blushing, the back of his neck pink with embarrassment. He made a tentative move to pull away, but I held him snugly. I decided then to take matters into my own hands, literally.
"I think you'd be just fine," I continued. "Real fine...."
I let my hands drift downward until they were over his dick. He was hard as a rock!
Wow! I thought. He's hung like a damn horse!
"Do ... do you really think I'd be good?" he asked, his voice uncertain.
My heart jumped, not to mention my pussy. He was getting into it, beginning to respond. He liked the way I was treating him, just as I had hoped.
"Yes, I do think that," I said. "Brian...."
He turned, and I draped my arms over his shoulders. He was slightly taller than me, just the right height.
"Why don't you kiss me?" I asked flatly.
He hesitated a moment, and I thought he was going to break it off. I moved a step closer, and that seemed to do it. His hands went to my waist, and we kissed, a lingering, titillating teaser.
I felt as though someone had lit my fuse. I had always been hot-blooded, easy to arouse. But kissing him seemed different than kissing other boys. It was deeper, more intense. There was a tenderness in his kiss, but it still was very sexy. Very sexy, indeed.
"Ohhhh, Brian, yes!" I moaned.
I ground my body against him, wanting to get him as excited as I was. It seemed very urgent that I get him hot, set him afire. I didn't want to leave his room without his having made love to me. Our parents had left us alone for the weekend, saying they were going to drive upstate and visit some old friends. They just packed and left.
We had all the time in the world....
"Christ, Sis!" he gasped. "What are we doing?"
"Don't think. Don't...."
He was afraid to let his hands roam my body; they stayed at my waist. I was twisting in his arms like a wench, but he wouldn't let his inhibitions drop. So I went a step further....
"I want you to see me," I whispered, backing away.
I knew his dick was ready. I had felt it against my belly when I was pressing against him. Now I pulled my sweater over my head, letting it drop to the floor. I hadn't worn a bra, knowing that my parents wouldn't be at home. I had a real good body in those days, if you don't mind my saying, and my tits had a good lift to them, full and firm.
My mind was in a whir, trying to figure out what he was feeling and determine what I should do next.
He stood gawking at my tits, and when he spoke, his voice was dry, tight.
"You're beautiful. I always liked your body. It's very sexy...."
Well, now we were getting somewhere.
"Do you want to touch them?" I said, stepping forward, my tits bouncing slightly.
He didn't say anything. He just raised his hands and closed them over my tits. God, but it felt as though someone had sent an electric current through me. I closed my eyes, tottering slightly as his fingers opened and closed, squeezing, caressing.
"Mmmmmm, ohhhhhh, Brian!" I gasped. "Brian, Brian, Brian...."
I flattened myself against him, opening my mouth as we kissed and sticking my tongue between his lips. That seemed to do the trick. He dropped his hands to my ass, working it against his dick as our tongues slithered together.
"Oh, wow!" he murmured. "Shit!"
I giggled, and he laughed too. I could feel his body loosen up, the tension seeming to drain away. I knew he was far from comfortable, but he had lost his woodenness. He was alive.
"Take my skirt off," I said, my voice sounding unreal. "The catch is on the side. Go ahead...."
He fumbled with it, and after a few awkward moments, I was standing in front of him wearing only my panties. His eyes seemed to glide over my hips, his face intent, to say the least.
"I'll help you," I murmured, unbuttoning his shirt.
I thought he might resist at that point, but he let me undress him. When he was in his shorts, I eased my fingers inside the elastic waistband and slid them down his legs. When his dick popped free, a flush went through my body.
He was lovely, really built. His cock was about seven or eight inches long, and thick. I imagined it sinking into me, and I had the urge to rape him, just grab him and shove him into me.
But that would have blown it; I had to be gentle.
"You're so ... masculine," I said, trying to reinforce his ego.
He chuckled, but this time there was no bitterness, no sarcasm. He enjoyed being flattered, and I can't say as I blamed him. It was a new experience for him. Usually, he was criticized, and unmercifully.
"Yes," I whispered, sliding to my knees. "So very masculine...."
I took his dick and guided it into my mouth, closing my lips over it and sucking gently. I heard him take in air through his teeth, and he balanced himself by placing his hands on my shoulders. I was gone now, right over the fucking fence.
"Ohhhhhh!" he moaned. "Ohhhhh, that's good!"
I looked up at him; he had his shoulders back, his chest out, frowning, gritting his teeth as I sucked him. He looked like a titan, and I loved him. Hell, what man wouldn't feel like a king with a woman on her knees before him sucking his dick?
I felt the thick veins of his cock against my tongue as I licked him, and he seemed so large he would burst. His prick throbbed, and I pulled off him. I didn't mind him coming in my mouth. I just wanted to get it in my pussy, first.
And then I had second thoughts. Perhaps I should take him all the way. It would drain all tension, and when we went to bed, he'd feel good about it, more relaxed.
So I resumed my work, sucking hard, my lips sliding along his big, fat dick.
"Ohhhh, Sis!" he gulped, his body shuddering. "I'm ... I'm gonna...."
He never finished that sentence! His come spurted into my mouth, damn near choking me. It seemed as though he came a gallon. I swallowed it, pulling at his prick with my lips as he continued to come. The sounds he made were something else. It was as if he were being tortured, exquisitely.
"Sis...." he said softly, looking down at me when we had finished.
I smiled and got to my feet. He grabbed me and kissed me hard, his tongue shooting into my mouth. I had excited him, all right.
"Let's get on the bed," I said, eager to begin the second inning.
We flopped onto his quilt, our bodies twitching like they'd been severed from our brains.
And then I had another bright idea.
"The big bed!" I squealed. "Let's use the big bed!"
He knew what I meant, and we ran into my parents' bedroom, jumping onto the widest, longest, loveliest bed you ever did see.
"Now fuck me!" I screeched, feeling almost drunk.
I reached down and found his dick somewhat limp, and when I looked at him, his expression was as if he had just missed an easy shot in a pool game. He was very embarrassed....
"Oh, Brian," I soothed, letting go of his dick and pulling him against me. "Don't feel bad. Let's just lie here. Kiss me...."
It was gentle at first, but I pushed him, sucking at his tongue, and he began to get excited, his hands pulling at my tits.
"Oh, wow...." he murmured. "You feel so soft and warm...."
"And you're so strong...."
I wanted to build his ego, make him feei assured. He had no reason to believe he would fail. After all, I was his sister. If he couldn't have faith in me, what was left for him?
I reached down and felt his cock. It was hard, deliriously hard.
"You feel more relaxed now, don't you, Brian?" I said. "Yes."
I didn't say any more. I figured the less verbal I was, the better. Instead of talking, I just eased him onto his back, then moved on top of him. My cunt was wet, and I knew I'd have no trouble fitting him into me. I was terribly hot, my heart pounding like crazy.
"Ohhhhh, Brian," I moaned. "Ummmmm...."
I was on him now, and the head of his dick was in my pussy. I felt his body tense, his face drawing tighter. I was afraid he might lose his erection, so I pushed down hard, and his prick just jammed up into my pussy.
It was then that I forgot about him. I just knew he wasn't about to disappoint me or himself. His dick was strong and hard, and he wanted me as bad as I wanted him, I could see that. His hips began to move, and I rode him, jerking my cunt over his dick in short, hard thrusts.
"Ohhhh, yehhhhhh!" he moaned. "Oh, Sis!"
I laughed, taking his hands and placing them on my tits.
"Play with 'em while we fuck," I gasped. "I feel so wild! Ooooohhhh, Brian! Yessss!"
Well, I want to tell you that we had ourselves one grand fuck. I never forgot for a moment that it was my brother who lay under me, and I can honestly say that it was that knowledge that made it so good. I've never considered myself the nymphomaniac type. I won't he down with just anybody. But screwing with Brian was ... well, extra special.
When he came in me, I nearly blew my top. I squirmed and jerked, my body feeling as if it had become weightless. After we finished, we showered together, and then we went back to bed and spent the rest of the day and night there.
I fell in love with my brother in a special way that day. I continued to see other guys, but he was the one I came to when I wanted to have my mind rattled.
He went to college, and I visited him, sleeping with him at motels and hotels near the campus, making it in cars and on the golf course, any way we wanted it.
And then he got married.
That nearly destroyed me. I realized how possessive I had become. I didn't want to share him with anybody, and when he wrote and told me he wanted to discontinue the kind of relationship we had enjoyed for almost five years, I lost my head.
I called him up and cursed him out, but he ignored my tirade. He seemed suddenly independent, as if he didn't need me any more, and that scared me.
I saw him once, visiting him at his apartment. I told him I didn't care that he had a wife, that I wasn't jealous. I just wanted him to continue loving me, that was all. We had always agreed that what we had would last forever. Five years isn't forever....
"listen, I think you ought to see a doctor," he said to me. "I don't think you're well adjusted. You need help."
Christ, the bastard!
I stormed out of there, vowing never to let him or any other man touch me again.
I moved out of town, going to the West Coast. I found myself a nice little house near the beach and settled down. I lived alone, and I made pretty good money developing my talent as an illustrator. I worked for an ad agency at first, then went freelance.
And then one day, while I was lying on the beach, I thought about Brian, how it was with him in bed, and I began to masturbate. The beach was deserted, I thought, and I slipped my hand inside my bikini panties and let my finger caress my clitoris.
"That's no way to get any satisfaction."
Hell, I nearly landed in the ocean I jumped so high.
A girl of about seventeen stood right over me, looking down at me with the frankest, boldest gaze I had ever seen. She dropped to her knees, smiling, and her hand brushed the hair away from my face.
I was speechless. I had never been so embarrassed in my life, and she took advantage of it.
"You're very beautiful," she said. "You have lovely skin...."
The next thing I knew, her face was in my belly, her tongue sliding over my flesh. I became awfully excited, and it didn't take us long to get back to the house and into bed.
I became a Lesbian at that point, and I stayed one for some fifteen years.
About six months ago, I met a man I couldn't resist. I told you about him our first session. He was a fantastic fellow, and I fell for him. He didn't try to push me into bed, but we eventually made our way there.
And I found that I couldn't satisfy him or myself. I was frigid, absolutely terrified of having sex with him. I cried like a baby when he put his dick in me. He was wonderful about it, anxious to talk with me. But he said he didn't have the skill to help me, that I should see a psychologist.
He gave me your name. I didn't want to come at first. But somehow I dragged myself in here. I don't have much faith in this business, but I'll try it.
What have I got to lose?
REMARKS: As our sessions continue, Susan will begin to understand the methods of psychology, how she can use them to help herself. Except for her distrust of the psychologist's approach, which she does not understand, her attitude is good. She wants to become a healthy, productive woman, and she is willing to work and maintain an open, honest mind. I think that once she acknowledges her antipathies toward her parents and her brother, she will have taken a large step toward realizing her own true identity. If she can resolve some of the conflicts of her youth, the problems of middle age may dissipate.
