The sex drive has been called the single, most powerful moving force in our makeup. When it is accepted by individuals as normal and natural to express this need, then problems rarely occur. But when these needs are suppressed or made to seem evil in some ways, then difficulties arise. Feeling the sex drive and being prevented by society from expressing it can cause massive frustrations which then express themselves in abnormal reactions in certain individuals. These are excerpts from my studies.
Bianca K: It was wrong of me but I began to act in a very sexy manner towards him. He could not help but notice the fact that I was spreading my legs.
Alexis S: She was only fifteen but her lithe body, pressed tightly against mine, made my head swim. Her tiny nipples taunted me beyond belief-until there was no turning back.
Dori H: He sat on top of me and clutched my tits roughly, demanding that I take him into me.
Carol D: I wanted more than-anything to feel his smooth flanks against my open thighs.
Marty V: Before I knew it, I had embraced the child and pulled her tits to my mouth. She was frightened but I had to have her now. My need was too strong to be cast aside.
Lita M: I was sixteen at the time but he was pressing his long organ against me. Closer and closer. And then he was naked.
Tony F: I'd seen her come out of school every day and finally I had her near me. I reached out and touched the virgin tit. It was soft and yielding. When she shrieked I grabbed her harder and then she stopped and enjoyed it.
Sable B: My father would give me to his friends and use me as a prize whore. But for a sixteen-year-old, that ain't bad. I had my fill of men by seventeen.
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Archive Note: The pocketbook from which this text file was extracted contained two sections labeled 'CASE HISTORY FIVE' but to make up for that, there are no sections labeled 'CASE HISTORY SEVEN' OR 'CASE HISTORY EIGHT'. ...
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CASE HISTORY ONE
Subject: Bianca K. Age: Thirty-five
INTERVIEW ONE
Bianca K. was a handsome woman, well-dressed and poised. She wore an expensive tweed suit and brown leather boots. Her form was slender, yet round. Her auburn hair was pulled up Victorian style, from her face.
Except for a slight stutter, she seemed composed. She told me that it would be rather difficult for her to talk about her particular problem. She said that she had managed to exist with it for some time, keeping it a secret, confiding in no one.
She felt that the time had come to talk to someone, or else she would suffer serious mental derangement. She crossed her legs, lit up a cigarette and began her story.
I am self-supporting, Doctor, as a piano teacher. There was a time when I thought I would be a concert pianist and indeed I was doing very well. I had played with symphony orchestras and had made the concert rounds. My reviews were excellent, praise was high. I think that I could have been very successful.
But I was not happy doing that-isn't that strange? Imagine having the chance to become well-known, to become successful in a highly competitive field like that, and giving it up for some little quirk in one's character.
Something that is not only a perversion, but against the law. Something that would surely ruin my life, and others' lives should it come out into the open. That is why I have never told anyone about this. I have lived in fear of being discovered.
It began many years ago, when I was still a student. I was twenty-five years old and in order to pay my expenses and to pay for my lessons, I also gave piano lessons. My students were all young, from the ages of six to sixteen.
I loved teaching. I loved sitting next to children on the bench and teaching them the piano. They were all so beautiful, so eager to learn, so alive, and, oh heaven! So young.
I had one student, a boy named Mitchell who was particularly promising. He was a terribly handsome lad. He was tall for his age, and rather thin. He had blonde, curly hair like gold, and large, blue, innocent eyes. He was fifteen at the time it happened, but I had known him since he was ten.
He liked me a lot. I guess he had one of those adolescent crushes on me. Sometimes he would look up from a piece of music into my eyes and they were full of love and admiration.
He had lessons with me three times a week. How I looked forward to seeing him! I didn't even realize how important he was to me. I took it all for granted. I knew that I felt pleasant every time he came, and I felt pleasure sitting next to him. But at first, I just interpreted it as a joy in seeing someone as young as he, so devoted to the piano, someone so talented. But there was more to that, much more. I wanted him. I mean, I wanted him sexually.
I slowly began to realize that. I tried to brush it off, telling myself it was foolish because after all, I was twenty-five and he was fifteen. I later told myself that it was dangerous, that perhaps I was insane.
But as soon as I had admitted to myself that I wanted to have sex with him, it became harder and harder for me to teach him. And there were those looks he gave me, the way his hands brushed against my thighs as we sat on the bench. Every time that happened, I felt a thrill in my loins.
I couldn't concentrate on music at all. I found myself trying to touch him whenever I could. Placing my hands on his, touching the top of his head, resting my hand on his knees, once I even brushed his crotch. He looked at me strangely, I suppose trying to figure out if it was an accident or not.
And that was another thing. I was continually looking at his crotch. And you know what? There was this awful bulge there so much of the time, especially when we sat together and played.
Well, I suppose that it was inevitable that it happen. I'll never forget the day. It was a Thursday. Mitchell was a little bit late because of the weather. It was storming outside, a real Northeaster, you know. When he finally reached my place, he was soaking wet and I told him that before we began, he would have to remove some of his wet clothing and have some hot tea.
He was soaked to the skin and was already sneezing. I told him to take off all of his clothing, and I would give him a bathrobe to wear. He didn't complain a bit.
When he sat down to play in my bathrobe, I felt strangely excited. I don't know why, the bathrobe covered his body more than his clothes, really. I guess it was just the fact that it was only held together by a sash. That underneath, he was totally naked.
I longed to see him naked. I longed to look at his cock. He, too, acted strange, friendly, constantly stealing looks at my face, and his eyes shot up and down my body.
It was wrong of me, but I began to act sexy toward him. A grown man would have no trouble interpreting those looks and those gestures that I made. Even Mitchell, I could tell, was being affected by my attitude. I was like a bitch in heat sitting next to him.
As I took his hand on the keys, I don't know what came over me. Instead of replacing the hand on the piano, I placed it on my tits. I held it there, and Mitchell looked into my face with surprise and curiosity.
I put his hand inside of my blouse. "Move it over my breasts, darling. I want to give you another kind of lesson. One that will be equally useful to you."
He complied willingly, and I breathed heavily and my tits rose up and down under his palm. Soon I took my hand away, but he did not even notice, and he continued to caress my breasts, feeling my nipples. I guess he would have done that forever, if I hadn't changed the pace.
I pulled him to me and kissed him on the mouth. His arms came around my back and I ran my hands over his neck and his back. I shot my tongue into his mouth, and I soon felt his tongue shooting back into mine. His mouth was at least as hot as mine and his breath was rapid.
My lips moved smoothly and wetly over his and our tongues worked together like live snakes. When the kiss broke, I" was rather surprised at him. His mouth was all over my neck, and my face and in my tits. He kissed me all over. Youthful, passionate kisses. I gasped for air.
The boy wanted me, all right. Maybe he didn't know what he wanted. But I was willing to show him, willing to give to him, more than willing.
I sighed and began to give his ear a tongue bath. My lips sucked in his ear lobes and my tongue washed out the shell of his ear and he loved it.
His body squirmed on the seat. I knew I had to go slow, I wanted to, I wanted to savor every moment of him. His little hands were on my breasts again, and this time he was more courageous in his feeling and his exploring. He touched me so harshly that it hurt, but I did not complain. I loved it. I loved even the inexperience of his touch.
His hands slipped under my blouse and up the smooth flesh of my belly and he gripped both of my tits. His hands molded the soft flesh so hard and his fingers punched at my pulsing nipples so violently, that I could hardly breathe. I was gasping for air and I could hear his hot breath, too. It was terribly exciting.
I reached out and ran my hands along the insides of his thighs. He reacted by opening his legs more, the bathrobe falling away. He squeezed my tits even harder. I ran my hand along the hot flesh of his thighs, his soft, young flesh felt so wonderful.
As I neared his crotch, I longed to plunge in. I longed to see if he had an erection. But I waited, instead, pulling away from him and removing my blouse.
I exposed my large tits to him and he smiled with delight. We embraced again and his fingers slid over my back. They went way down as if longing to go down to my ass, but his fear held him back.
I thought at that moment how silly it was. It was obvious that he wanted to feel and see more of me, but that he was holding back. I knew that I wanted more of him. We were both inhibited, and that was ridiculous because we both wanted more of the same thing.
I pulled away from him.
"Mitchell, listen to me, please. I'm going to be very frank. I don't know if this is right, what we're doing, but I've wanted to do it for a long time."
He then told me how long he had wanted to touch me, too. I then said that I thought we should be very free with each other. He was of course a virgin, and I told him not to be afraid of touching me where he wanted, or of me touching him.
He responded by sinking his teeth into my tits, and getting his mouth around my nipples. He sucked the nipple into his mouth and then shot his tongue around the cap, wetting it and leaving it hard and throbbing and red. My hand ran along the inside of his thighs, but this time, I knew that I would expose his cock, then I would feel his young member.
My hand slipped past the bathrobe and I found his cock. It was a nice cock, rather long and thin, but very, very hard. I touched his balls. They were tight and throbbing. I felt the head of his cock. It was wet.
I knew that I had to move with caution, for I suspected that, since he was so young, he would be liable to shoot off his load right away just from the mere touch of my hand.
His hands were on my thighs, and they ran up and down the smooth material of my dress.
Suddenly, he opened the buttons on my dress, and reached under the material and into the heat of my crotch. I felt his hands pulling on the tight elastic of my panties and then reaching under to probe for my cunt. I moaned. I was delirious with pleasure. He was a wonderful lover already.
My hand rested around the head of his cock. I knew that he was feeling the wetness of my snatch. He rubbed the bushy hair down there and I nearly fell off the bench.
I looked at his cock. It was so hard, so pretty. There was not much pubic hair around it and what there was, was pretty and blonde and curling. I could see that a drop of pre-come was glistening on the end of his cock.
Mitchell was pulling off my underpants. I let his hot little hand do what it wanted. I spread my legs for him and he reached into my exposed cunt and ran his fingers slowly along the wet lips of my cunt. It felt good, wonderful! I gasped and held his cock very tightly in my hand.
His hand was rough and inexperienced.
"Mitchell, darling, explore it carefully." Then I told him about my clitoris and showed it to him, and told him what I liked done to it.
He fondled it gently and it throbbed. He slipped one finger through my cunt hole, and I squirmed about on the bench for delight. My hips were moving about and I was secreting all kinds of fuck sauce.
Suddenly, I jumped up, panting, "Come on, my darling. Let's go into the bedroom."
He followed me, taking off the bathrobe as he went.
I pushed him down on the bed, and climbed on myself. I took his cock in my hand and looked at it. I ran my hands over his thighs, over his belly. I kissed the head of his cock and it jerked a bit.
He pushed up from the bed. I looked at the cock some more. I saw the blood pulsing through the head and I licked slowly around it. He moaned. I breathed hotly on the head of his cock.
He pushed up once, and I started to plunge down on his cock, slowly slipping down on the hot cock flesh, feeling the long tool entering my mouth, filling my mouth with hard meat.
I kept on going down until I felt the tip of his cock pressing against the back of my mouth. I gasped when I felt the whole of my mouth filled with cock.
The boy squirmed with delight, and his cock throbbed. I knew that he would never be able to stand it, but that I would probably be able to arouse him again for a fuck.
I shot my tongue out and lapped the rim of his rod. I plunged down again. I ate his pole greedily. I sucked the head hard and licked for joy.
He pumped with his hips. He tried to fill me more with his cock, he was aching to feel all of his cock surrounded with my flesh. I decided that I would do it. He cried aloud when I took him all the way down. I felt the flesh on the bottom of his cock getting harder, hotter. My lips were pushed apart, the head buried in my mouth, deep in my throat.
I plunged up and down on his cock, slowly, and then faster. He rose with his hips and then went down again. He pumped his body into me. I squeezed his balls and sucked his cock. He pumped me wildly. He loved it.
His cock grew tense. It throbbed. I sucked him hard. I licked the piss slit and plunged down rhythmically on the shaft, and then up. Suddenly the hot sperm shot out of his cock and into my throat.
It was hot and soothing as it slapped into my throat and I swallowed it. His cock convulsed and I milked him dry.
Then I told him that I wanted him to eat me out. He wasn't at all displeased with the idea. In fact, he seemed eager to experience it. I was certainly eager for him to experience it.
He climbed down between my legs and I raised my knees up to give him a good aim. I soon felt his hot breath over my cunt.
I had no idea what he was going to do. I felt his fingers prying open my cunt lips and then his hot breath again blowing over my bush. I felt delighted. I almost screamed with anticipation.
He licked along the wetness of my cunt lips. I couldn't help but squirm about a little. I felt his tongue there and it was wonderful. I shut my eyes with red desire. His tongue lapped up my cunt lips and he sucked on them. I knew that I was excreting lots of fluids but I could hear him sucking and lapping them up.
His tongue burrowed into my cunt and he licked and sucked me blindly. It didn't matter. The touch was enough. I felt my orgasm spreading wildly over my groin.
I screamed and bit my lip and I pressed his head tightly in my cunt. My orgasm knocked me out and I think I almost suffocated the boy in my cunt.
But when it was over, he raised his head and smiled at me with fuck sauce all over his face. I jumped up and kissed him.
I asked him if he had to leave for home. He said not at all. We continued to play with each other's bodies, to caress and kiss until we were both aroused again.
Then I showed him where fucking was at, and that was terrific too. The feeling of his cock plowing into my cunt was too much to be believed.
Well, needless to say, we didn't get too much practicing on the piano done after that. His mother never did find out why, as far as I know, but she was displeased with his progress and so got him another piano teacher.
I could scarcely afford that. Mitchell was very sad, but he still came to me for other lessons for several months.
When he turned sixteen, his parents sent him to Europe for school and that pretty much was the last I saw of him.
I didn't really feel too sad about it, though, because of the enormous guilt I had felt about fucking and sucking a fifteen-year-old.
I was not prepared for the revelation about myself, however. Unfortunately, I had to stop Bianca's narrative at that point for our time for that week had run out. She said that she understood, being a piano teacher herself, and promised that she would return the following week, with all of her homework done.
INTERVIEW TWO
Bianca returned to me the following week and seemed anxious to resume the story of her plight. I offered her a cup of coffee because she seemed to need some unwinding before she began. Her words tended to run together at first, so anxious she was to get it all off her chest.
I asked her about her music, and if she ever gave concerts. She said that infrequently she did give local recitals, but that piano lessons were her main source of income, although she played cocktail bars for extra money.
I asked her if she liked the latter. She said that she didn't really mind it, since the money was so good. She did not feel like it was a prostitution of her talents.
I think that I have an open mind, Doctor. There are many kinds of music that are valid. Not only classical. All good music is valid. But before we get into a discussion of artistic values, I would like to relate more of my sexual values.
As I was saying, there was Mitchell, and after Mitchell, I began to play with symphony orchestras. My reviews were very promising. This went on for some years, and I found that I had to give up giving lessons. My time was too short, what with all the lessons that I was taking and all the rehearsals and all the dates.
As the years passed, I found myself very unhappy. I was like a dead person. Only the music was alive though eventually that, too, began to suffer. A dead person cannot play alive music.
I went through a terrible period. I started to drink too much, to miss rehearsals, to neglect my work. I found myself degenerating by degrees. There were plenty of sexual partners of course, men usually older than myself. And I fucked with them, but there was no joy in it. Not like the joy that I had felt with Mitchell, that beautiful youth. I started to give lessons again because I needed the money. And once again, every week, I had lovely, young men and women coming to me to play the piano. My own music improved. I no longer drank myself into oblivion at night. I didn't need the liquor, for I had their sweet presence during the week. Their sweet smiles and their eagerness to learn.
There was Peter. Peter was dark-haired and intense, a shy fourteen-year-old with clear, bright skin. I found myself attracted to him the same way I had been attracted to Mitchell. And gradually, the boy warmed up to me. He began to confide in me. He opened up to me, and told me things he would tell no one else.
One night, actually evening, when I was preparing my lonely supper, there was a knock at the door.
When I opened the door, I saw it was Peter, and I saw that he had been crying. I quickly brought him in and sat down on the couch with him. I asked him what the problem was.
It seemed that he was having problems at home. His parents were in the middle of a rather ugly divorce, or perhaps I should say that he was in the middle of his parents' rather ugly divorce. It was a long story, and I don't think it's really relevant to what we're discussing, but the outcome was that I gave him a lot of sympathy and consolation.
It began in an embrace. I held his head against my breast and his little head was nuzzled right in there very maternally. He almost fell asleep right there, and we lay down together on the sofa, with him resting on me like I was a maternal pillow.
But I started to rub his belly. He didn't say anything. He didn't move. His head was on my shoulder, and I caressed his neck and his face. I looked into his face and his eyes were closed.
My hand explored his stomach and his chest tenderly. He felt very warm and soft. I longed to feel his flesh underneath his clothing. I looked down between his legs and could see his young bulge.
I kissed his hair and I kissed his ears. I kissed him wherever I could reach with my lips. And I touched him. I touched him all over, caressing his warm, young flesh gently, arousing his budding manhood to the best of my abilities.
This was what I liked, and I suddenly remembered Mitchell and I knew that this was what I had been missing over the years.
Peter suddenly opened his eyes and started to kiss me back. I leaned my head down toward his and covered his mouth. I think that I was going a little too fast for him, because he started to breathe so fast. He Had to pull his head away from mine to catch his breath.
I touched him more and more, caressing his shoulder and then slipping my hand underneath his shirt and touching his hairless chest. I maneuvered around so that I could unbutton his shirt. I kissed his chest, licked his nipples.
My hand brushed over his crotch and I felt a definite hard bulge. I found his mouth again and kissed him and he returned the kiss with an adolescent's passion. I shot my tongue into his warm and wet mouth and he explored my mouth with his tongue, closing his eyes, and breathing very hard.
I knew that he had never kissed anyone like that before, except maybe in his dreams. I was gentle with him, my hands never stopping their work. They continued to caress him, to fondle his young skin, and to arouse his newly throbbing manhood.
He returned my caresses. He touched my breasts under the material. He touched my neck and my shoulders. His hand slid across my belly.
He gasped when my hand slipped over his belly and down along his thighs. I avoided his crotch, fearing that the boy would be shocked by my anxious behavior. I thought that perhaps it was already frightening to one as young as he.
But I was hot. I wanted that boy so much. I felt his hands on me, and I wanted to strip down to my bare skin. I wanted to feel his touch directly. My nipples felt hard and aware, and my cunt was getting very moist. I straddled his thighs, sitting back a little bit in order to watch his face, to gauge his reactions.
I caressed him over and over again, and then as I reached down his belly, I dove into his crotch and pressed against the bulge of his young manhood. I felt that it was hard, and I could feel the heat of insistent desire.
Yes, we both wanted it. He wanted it perhaps, more than I did, though that was hard to imagine at such a time. When my cunt was so hot and wet, I found it hard to believe anyone could want it more than I.
I moved my hands, over his thighs and pressed against his cock. I wanted to unzip his pants, and hold his cock, examine the hardness of it.
Suddenly Peter opened his eyes.
"Could we turn off the lights, please?" he asked shyly.
I smiled at him, a little disappointed. I would have liked to watch his expressions. But of course, I had to comply with his wishes and respect his youthful modesty.
I turned off the light switch, but when I returned to his body, I immediately found his zipper and exposed his cock. The boy panted with surprise and arousal.
I didn't give him time to think about it, though. I took his hand and placed it hard against my tits. He took up from there. He began to press and massage my tits with great passion.
I quickly removed my blouse and my tits glowed in the darkness. The boy reached for my breasts. He handled me rather roughly in his desire, and his inexperience. But it felt wonderful, and I loved him for his passion.
We were pulled together and his breathing became hard in my ear as he worked my tits to a fever with his caressing. His hand cupped over the mounds and his fingers pinched the nipples. My breasts were burning, stiff with lust.
I started to pull his pants off, touching his cock as I did. It was pulsing with passion. I gripped the shaft. It was as hard a cock as ever I had felt. I stroked it and he trembled. He trembled with fear and anticipation, and pleasure.
I found that I was trembling too. There was a great deal of trouble that I could get myself into by going through with this affair, and I was fully aware of it. But I was greatly aware also, of the hotness and the moistness of my cunt, and of the great feelings my head was into, by messing with this adolescent.
I could hear the boy panting as he worked on my tit flesh. The palms of his hands pressed very hard into my chest, and his fingers pinched the nipples a little too hard. I moaned with pain, and pleasure.
I wanted him to suck my nipples, and I pressed his head into my chest. The boy immediately got the idea and soon I felt his heavy breathing between my tits.
He squeezed my tits as his mouth covered the bud of my nipples. The tip of his tongue licked around them, and his mouth started to suck softly. I squeezed the tit in my hand and I thrust it further into his mouth.
I heaved with pleasure. Oh, this was pleasure indeed! It was wonderful. I only wished that the lights were on so I could watch the beautiful young boy sucking the shit out of my tits.
I started to run my hands down along his thighs and I reached Tor his cock. He gasped and I grabbed for his balls. I squeezed them and I reached underneath them to fondle his ass.
I palmed his cock, rubbed the shaft, and he was terribly excited. I felt a hand over my cunt through the thin material, and I felt a shock wave of lust through my spine.
I knew that I had to help him. So I unzipped my pants and pulled them down, exposing my cunt to his curious fingers. But he had retracted his hand and seemed afraid to put it back.
I pulled away from him and removed the rest of my clothing. My nakedness glimmered in the streetlight from outside. The boy squinted through he darkness gazing on an adult and fully developed woman. My tits swung lightly in the air, and the odor of my cunt was very high.
I moved toward him now and his hand went right for my cunt. I felt his lips all over my body, on my tits, on my stomach, on my arms. I felt his hand touching my cunt gently.
I embraced his body tightly. Our flesh sank into the couch. My hands covered him up and down, and I grabbed and squeezed his young ass.
I kissed him and licked him and I moved down toward his cock. The boy almost fainted when I reached his cock. His cock was pulsing with lust. I kissed his practically hairless crotch and then the tip of his dick.
I picked up his cock in my fingers and the boy lay back in hard breathing anticipation. He had given himself up to my hands. He would not stop me from doing anything to him. He was willing to let me teach him.
I placed my lips around the cock head and I sucked it a few times. His hips started to move around immediately. He tried to thrust up into my mouth. The boy was totally uninhibited now.
I went down on him. I took his cock right into my mouth and I went down all the way on him, right down to his balls. I held those balls in one hand and tugged on them. His body was electric and he winced and gasped for breath.
I slid upwards on his cock and licked around the glans up along the rim. I shot my tongue out and twirled it around the piss slit through which I would receive his sperm very soon I knew if I weren't careful.
But I wanted him to have his first true orgasm inside of my cunt. I felt my lips along the staff, it was hard and pulsing. His pelvis pushed into my face and the hot tip of his rod was against the back of my mouth.
I suddenly removed the cock from my mouth and I climbed on top of him. I pressed my wet cunt against his cock and I found his mouth and kissed him hotly. He responded with equal passion.
I wriggled my body over his. I dry humped him. I ground him into the couch.' His cock was in my cunt lips and it was very hard and very insistent. I plunged over him and I felt his cock trying to enter. I slid a hand down and rooted his cock head inside of my cunt.
The boy gasped underneath my mouth and then I plunged down onto him. I pushed his cock up inside me. His cock sliced right up into my hot snatch. It filled my cunt and I felt his pelvis bones against mine.
He moaned loudly when he felt my snatch enveloping his cock. I had taken the whole dick and I wrapped my hips around the cock, twisting it inside of my body, sucking it up with the grip of my twitching pussy.
He thrust his hips up as I rose, but I was still doing most of the work. I rose and fell on his dick, feeling his hot and hard flesh up and down on the walls of my cunt. It was wonderful. I felt that I could come at any moment and I knew that it would be a short fuck.
I pulled my mouth away from his and sat up a little bit, my tits swung in the air and I humped the shit out of him. I lunged down onto his cock. I loved the friction between our bodies.
I felt like I could feel the tip reaching all the way up my cunt bouncing off my cervix. His balls bounced off my ass-hole and we rose toward orgasm fast.
He grabbed for my tits and pulled me down to him again by the tits. His cock slammed in hard and fast. He held onto my tits.
We got so wild that we fell off the couch onto the floor. He landed on top of me, still clutching my tits. I spread my legs very wide and his cock insistently slammed into me. He pulled back and rammed it in again. I screamed with delight as his cock pushed in and out of me. The boy had lost all of his inhibitions he had become a man taking what he needed from my body. I was no longer his piano teacher to him at that moment, I was a woman, a cunt for his cock and he was going to have all that he needed of me.
I gloried in his lust and need, knowing that mine was equal and I clutched his ass and pulled his whole body deep into mine. His cock sliced in and out, in and out, wilder and wilder fucking and my orgasm creeped up my spine.
We were breathing hard and sweating. His teeth were in my shoulder. I moaned loudly as he came into me and my orgasm shook my whole body. He continued to fuck me, spreading the fuck sauce throughout my vagina.
I twisted my hips and held him hard into me. His gism splashed into my cunt. I ripped into his ass with my nails and I howled with my orgiastic spasms.
We writhed on the floor until he started to go limp and my cunt felt numb. After that we just lay still breathing very hard.
I guess we must have fallen asleep for awhile even, but when we awoke we were at it again. And that went on for some time. But this time I didn't make the mistake that I had made with Mitchell. I didn't let the piano lessons slide. And Peter was just the opposite because of our sexual relationship his playing got better and better. We did other things together. We went to concerts and things. His parents trusted me totally and they even allowed me to take Peter to Boston for a weekend.
Ah, what a weekend that was!
What else can I tell you Doctor? I know that I'm playing with fire. We're deeply attached to each other even now and who knows how long that will go on?
CONCLUSION
I found Bianca's case very interesting, for her love of young boys seemed to be rooted in her love of teaching. She was a very sensual woman by nature, something which was apparent in her art, in her playing of the piano. This sensuality came through on all levels.
As to her relationship with Peter. She is very right. She is involved in a dangerous relationship now. If the authorities, (Peter's parents) found out she would be ruined. From what she has told me this seems highly unlikely.
Another thing that could happen would be that one or the other of them might tire of the relationship at some point and then they would suffer greatly. Peter I think would suffer much more than she and I spent some time talking to her on that point. She said that she felt that she would never tire of the bright and handsome and talented young boy, that he was more than a lover to her, more than a protege, he was her rock, her reason for existence.
I cautioned her, telling her to be careful. I told her that because of his age and inexperience she would have to be the one that tempered the relationship.
CASE HISTORY TWO
Subject: Alexis S. Age: Thirty
INTERVIEW ONE
Alexis was an attractive man. That is, he was of handsome features. However, there was a silent and brooding air about him. An air of melancoly and inwardness that would generally put people off.
He told me that he had always had difficulty making friends, that people found it hard to accept him. He said that when he was in college he had had a nervous breakdown, but that he had managed quite well since.
He was employed as a car salesman, but his true work was writing. He had enjoyed some success as a writer of fiction and had been published quite a few times. He regretted the fact that he was forced to work as a car salesman, but had come to accept it also.
Well, Doctor, it has been quite a while since I felt the need to talk to someone like you. It has never been easy unburdening myself to others, even to a professional person who's job it is to get people to reveal their innermost secrets.
I have especially had trouble relating to women in my life. I've had many intense but brief encounters, but they always seemed to cause me more pain than they were worth. I know that that was never the fault of the woman, but my own fault and my own fears.
Well, last month something happened which I had never expected. I have this woman friend. We've known each other since college, she's a writer also, somewhat more successful than myself you see. We never slept together, our relationship was always one of friendship and authorship more than anything else.
But she has this daughter, Elise, she's fourteen now. A beautiful girl with golden curls and gray eyes, a lush young body just coming into its own. Oh, if only you could see her you would know what I mean. She's like a pre-Raphaelite painting. An innocent sensuality if you know what I mean.
At any rate, my friend, Jeane (that's her mother), asked me up for the weekend. She has a nice house in the country, very private and comfortable. Jeane has always been after me to quit the car job and write for a living. She really believes in me that way. Jeane's a divorcee and she has told me that I would be more than welcome to live in the guest cottage that adjoins her house.
One week I was so depressed about the car job that I accepted her offer of a visit and went out for a weekend. At first everything just felt wonderful. I enjoyed talking to Jeane about her work and about mine. The food was good, the company was good. I hadn't felt so terrific in years, since college.
Since before my breakdown and before this lousy job that makes me a living.
I was actually considering moving into the cottage and trying to exist on what I write when in walked Elise. She broke my heart immediately, I hadn't seen her since she was about five years old. She had been living with her father and his new wife on and off over the years.
As I talked with her I discovered that she had to same brightness and curiosity and ability as her mother only it wasn't really formed or educated. In a way that made her much more attractive than her mother who was somewhat cynical about life.
There was nothing cynical about Elise. She was beautiful and trusting and open and bright. She filled the room with her happy smiles and her big, interested eyes. As the weekend went on I found myself totally enchanted with her. I found myself preferring her company to that of her mother's.
I hardly knew what was happening. And she liked me, too. She really did. She hung around me, asking questions and things. I was staying in the cottage then and Sunday night which was the last night that I would be there I was retiring. It was late, maybe midnight or so when there was this soft, little knock on the door. I thought that it was Jeane, but when I opened the door I quickly saw that it was Elise.
She was standing outside in her nightgown, the wind blowing her blonde curls up around her face. I asked her in after a moment of surprise and asked her what she wanted.
"I just wanted to tell you good-bye." she said, looking at me with those large eyes.
"Does your mother know that you're here?" I asked.
She shook her head and then I noticed that she was starting to cry.
I took her in my arms and held her against my chest. In spite of a feeling of awkwardness, for I had never held such a child before my cock reacted by getting hard and insistent. I tried to tell my body to stop it, that this was a mere child, the daughter of my dearest and oldest friend and that to react that way was nothing short of perverse, but my body would not listen to the reasoning of my mind. My body delighted in the feel and the smell of the girl.
I asked her what was wrong and she told me that she was in love with me, that she didn't want me to go, that she wanted to go with me. It was absurd, but I was touched. We had hardly known each other for a couple of days. It was obvious to me that I was the object of an adolescent crush and that I had better watch my step.
I kept telling myself these things, but as she pushed her lithe body against mine my head began to swim, the aura of her 'budding sexuality filled the room, filled my body with desire.
I kissed her on the forehead and then I kissed her on the mouth. She tasted like cinnamon and cloves. My cock ached for her, my balls tightened for her. I wanted to fuck her. I thought she was an angel and I wanted her body like I had never wanted any body before.
I stroked her blonde curls. I moved my lips over hers and I shot my tongue into her mouth. I sucked her lips and the girl sucked on mine, she returned my kiss ardently, with all the passion of an adolescent girl.
She arched her body against mine and she kissed me back. She was aroused. My hands wanted to be everywhere at once on her body. I wanted my cock inside of her young snatch, I wanted to take her virginity, I wanted to possess her if only for a moment in time.
The kiss went on and on and I sucked her tongue. I pulled it into my mouth. My hand went up to her chest and I rubbed my hands over her young and budding tits. I pulled on the cloth of her nightgown.
I thought she was the most beautiful thing in the world, no woman had ever felt like that to me. I wanted to fuck her and I knew that she wanted me to fuck her. She rubbed her young body against mine and my cock was rock-hard.
I wondered what her pussy was like. I wondered if there was any hair on it, if so, was it blonde hair like on her head. I wondered if she was secreting juices of desire. I wondered if she was hot.
I worked my tongue into her mouth, I fucked her mouth with my tongue. She accepted my every action. I caressed her tits and pulled her tightly to me.
I rubbed my mouth over hers and she stuck her tongue inside my mouth. Her skin was smooth and soft. I thought she was beautiful. I rubbed her body with my hands. I wanted to give her her first fuck. I wanted my cock inside of her.
I stroked her, I caressed her tits. I kissed her mouth. She breathed hard and was aroused by the kissing and the stroking and all.
I embraced Elise and it blew my mind when the young girl's hand slipped down between us and she felt for my cock.
I pulled away from her.
She smiled at me, the tears in her eyes all gone. "I only wanted to see if it was hard." she said.
"What?"
"That's how you can tell if a man wants you isn't it?"
"Not always, Elise."
She frowned and I held her to me, "Sometimes they just tell you what they want."
"And you do want me, I mean, do you want to fuck me?"
"Oh yes," I whispered, "I want to fuck you very much. But what would your mother say?"
"My mother need not know for now."
"Are you a virgin, Elise?" I asked, pulling away to look at her face.
"I've never slept with It man, never been fucked by a man. But my mother has all these things, these dildoes you see, and I've used them a lot of the time."
Now that was something I had never known about Jeane. My curiosity prompted me to ask more. We sat down on the couch together and talked awhile and this is what I gathered for Elise's conversation. Jeane was a lesbian. I don't think that Elise knew this, but it suddenly became very clear to me. Jeane had never said anything about her sex life to me. I had often talked to her about my problems with women and she had been very helpful, but she had never talked about her own sex life. I, although curious, never pressed the matter because I felt that that was her right.
But now I saw why Jeane had lost custody of her child for so long. I saw why Jeane in all the years I had known her, had not had a lover. She had had lovers, but where I had looked for a man, something I had rather feared that would cause a break in our platonic relationship, I should have seen that there were women.
I was overwhelmed by this revelation, but I was even more affected by the proximity of Jeane's beautiful and anxious daughter. My cock had gone somewhat flaccid while I was musing over Jean's situation but I soon felt a soft little hand in my crotch, timidly exploring the area to see if wanted her."
I kissed her again and I touched her breasts. She started to stroke my cock. I could feel the thing growing again. I was once again aroused by her ministrations to that area and by the fact that she wanted me.
She worked her hand over my cock some more and I pushed my groin up. I stroked her tits, I wanted to undress her. I realized that she had nothing on underneath that nightgown and I began to pull it up over her head.
Now I worked my hands over her breasts unencumbered by any cloth. Her nipples were tiny and pink and looked delicious.
Her blonde curls fell down on her shoulders. I pulled on her small breasts some more while she worked her hand over my cock. She kissed my hand and then lay back on the bed. I rubbed her naked body, looking at her young cunt smattered with only a few blonde pubic hairs. It, too, looked delicious.
I put my mouth to her young tits and I kissed the soft white flesh. I worked my tongue over her chest and the taste of her was terribly erotic. I found her nipples and I sucked on them. I nibbled her tits and she moaned and she wiggled about on the bed. I couldn't get enough of the taste of her and of the feel of her tits in my mouth.
I pulled her titties into my mouth and I flicked my tongue across her nipples. She seemed aroused as hell. She murmured and she closed her eyes.
I worked my tongue down her body. I kissed her throat and I found her ears and reamed them out. I found her mouth and I slurped up her tongue. I sucked her tongue and her lips. I returned to her tits, still wet from my previous licking and sucking and gave them more of the same. I wanted to make her wet all over with my saliva.
My mouth brushed against her belly and I loved the way she squirmed about underneath my tongue. I touched her with my hands. Her hand once again was on my crotch.
She rubbed my crotch and I was terribly excited. T wanted more of her. I wanted to feel her body throbbing and aching against mine. I worked my hands hard over her tits and dammit it she didn't pull my zipper down.
My cock was throbbing as her small hand wrapped around it. She stroked the thing with her hand and she pulled on the shaft. I was so excited, more excited than I ever remembered being. The sensations were driving me crazy. She pulled her head up toward me very provocatively, full of innocence and sensuality.
"I want to taste it." she said.
It blew my mind, but what was I to do? She removed my pants and went for my cock. She started to stuff the head into her mouth. She worked her mouth up and down on the dick head. She didn't go very far down but it was enough to make me heave and groan. I couldn't help it. It felt so fucking good, it looked so good just to see her young, blonde head bobbing on the end of my cock.
She pulled on the head of the cock with her lips and she puckered up around the head. She sucked on it. She licked it all over. She went up and down the length of it, licking and nibbling. She wanted to taste all of it, she was making me wet with her saliva.
I pulled my cock away from her and kissed her on the forehead. I was terribly aroused and I told her so. I pulled the cock away from her mouth and took off the rest of my clothing.
I got down between her knees and spread her legs. Her cunt was the most beautiful sight that I had ever seen. All pink and violet like a flower garden in late spring.
We both lay totally nude and I worked my hand around her legs. I rubbed her inner thighs and she gasped and jerked a little as I touched her. I wanted to taste her sweet pussy and my mouth moved up toward her twat.
I smelled her there and once again it was like an oatmeal cookie down between her legs, all cinnamon and cloves and nutmeg. Wonderful! My mouth was full of saliva and the feeling of her soft cunt lips against my lips was enough to knock me out.
I worked my tongue around her cunt lips and into her snatch. I swirled my tongue around her clitoris. She thrust her little box back and forth and I worked my tongue around her mons veneris. I licked out her cunt and I worked my tongue up inside of her hole. I felt the muscles flexing and relaxing. I kissed her between her cunt lips and then I sucked on each one.
She moaned and groaned and tossed around so much that I had to hold her thighs rather hard to keep my mouth on her cunt. She was loving this treatment.
I played with her clitoris and she cried out. "Let me suck your cock while you suck my cunt."
I complied with her wishes turning my body around so that her face was right between my legs. She pulled the cock into her hot little mouth. She nibbled and licked it, she squeezed the balls. It was like she had been reading about how to arouse a man, she knew what to do but not quite how to do it. Still, it was wonderful and I could have shot my wad at any moment.
My body trembled with pleasure as she sucked me faster and faster and my face became covered with her cunt sauces. I worked my whole face into her cunt. I liked the way she was fucking me with her mouth. It felt wet and smooth. Her cunt humped against my mouth. I knew that I would not have this control forever.
We ate each other like ravenous animals. I worked my mouth into her cunt ana swallowed her cunt juice. My tongue pressed far up into her body and I licked up her secretions.
She ground her body into my face. She humped my face and I returned the favor by thrusting my big cock down her throat. She choked a little bit, but did not pull away. She licked my cock and she sucked it and sometimes I felt her sharp little teeth on the sides of it.
She worked on my cock like a maniac. The sensation was blowing my mind. I started to come. I throbbed and I spasmed. I humped her face violently, in a fog of ecstasy, I shoved my cock down her throat.
She sputtered and moaned but she swallowed all the gism that filled her mouth. I pulled the cock of out her distended mouth and started to work on her clitoris. I thrashed it with my tongue and nibbled it with my teeth. She pumped her groin on my face. I gobbled up her snatch and she started to shake and cry out.
I licked her out faster and faster. I ate out her female grotto and she creamed and wrapped her legs around my neck, choking me with her thighs.
Her orgasm ripped into her and lasted perhaps for a full minute. And she shook all over and screamed her pleasure.
When she was still, I realized that my cock was already hard again, or that perhaps it had never been soft. I decided to mount her and fill her with my rigid tool but suddenly I thought that I heard something in the bushes outside.
I put my hand over her mouth and told her that she had better get back to her bedroom.
She left then, but said that she would come back in a little while. After she had crawled out the back window I looked outside and could not see anyone there.
I interrupted Alex at that point and asked him to return the following week where we would pick up where we left off. He was sorry to leave and afraid that his desperate situation would render him useless so I asked him to come back the following day instead.
His nervous condition seemed to need immediate relief so I gave him a prescription for tranquilizers. He said that he regretted taking any medicine for he had sworn off any drugs years ago. I assured him that they were only a mild sedative that would help him to sleep and to cope with his job.
INTERVIEW TWO
Alexis returned the following day. I played back the last few feet of tape from the previous day so that he could continue the flow of his story.
Well, Doctor, what can I say? Elise returned to me about an hour later. Her hair was wild, her curls were flying around her face. Her skin was all glowing and vibrant. The moment she walked back in the door I grabbed her and embraced her and kissed her passionately.
She returned my kisses with youthful fervor. I immediately removed her flimsy garment and made her lie down on the bed. I got back between her legs and shoved my tongue right up inside of her.
She wiggled about and she giggled as my hands covered her thighs and my nose inhaled her recently satisfied womanhood. It was all wet and dark and warm inside of her cunt and I wanted to climb inside and build a nest.
I had never tasted cunt like that. Never. She thrust her pussy into my face and pushed her body down so that I would have to concentrate on her clitoris. I kissed it with my lips loudly and then I sucked on it a little bit. My tongue worked feverishly underneath her, making her wriggle and moan and wrap her sweet legs around my neck.
She pushed her cunt into my face and I wanted to just eat it up, it tasted and smelled and felt so good. I worked back on her cunt lips sucking them and then pushing my tongue up her hot hole.
I worked my tongue inside of her. I worked my lips on her body, her white thighs and her stomach. She loved it. I clutched her ass and my finger found her bunghole and I pushed into it. She gasped as I ate her out and reamed her butt. I pulled hard on her clit. I worked my tongue over her cunt lips and bit them and sucked them.
She gasped and panted and clutched my head between her thighs. Her body rolled from side to side and her pussy was thrust up at me. I held her ass like it was a pot of food and held it up to my face. I gripped her body and she held on with her legs.
How I wanted to fuck her. But she started to come again, her legs trembling against my neck and her cunt furiously pushed into my face. I could hardly stand it. Her orgasm was terrific and powerful and she moaned and she groaned and screamed at the peak of pleasure.
I ate her out for dear life and held her hard against my face.
After that, even though I was terribly aroused and very much wanting to fuck her cunt. I decided to give her a chance to rest. We talked for awhile. About her mother, about her life. She told me everything she wanted to tell me and as we gently talked we fondled each other. She asked me about my body, about my cock, how it felt and things like that.
We started to kiss again and she sucked on my tongue and kissed me like she had been kissing me for years. My cock was as hard as it had ever been. I was ready to take her pussy. I wanted to feel her underneath me, underneath the hard, insistent rhythm of my cock.
I kissed her tits. I licked her nipples and once more her body was glistening with my saliva. Her hand was down between my legs again looking for my cock. I put it in her hand and she pulled on it. She pulled the rod back and forth in her hand and worked up and down on the shaft. She squeezed it and she squeezed my balls. She played with them and stroked them. She was fascinated by the feel and the texture of my nuts.
She slid down and tried to suck my nipples, her fine teeth in my flesh was stimulating and delicious. My hands were all over her body. I found her cunt again and stuck my finger up her juicy hole.
I finger-fucked her for awhile, my finger slicing in and out until I could stand it no longer. I wanted my cock there and I wanted it there right away.
I spread her legs apart with my legs and mounted her. I pressed my cockhead into her groin, I found the entrance to her wet, hot pussy and I pushed. I lay on top of her. I looked down at her face, her sweet face, the eyes wide open waiting for me to enter her completely.
I pushed slowly into her and she tightened up, a little afraid. She winced as my cock began to fill her entirely. With one more good push I was in to the hilt. I lay still on her listening to her breathing and my breathing.
I waited a moment and then I began to fuck her in earnest. I pumped her with my cock. She lay still underneath me and let me fuck her, let me do my erotic work in her body. After awhile, she began to respond. Her body relaxed and she thrust her cunt up to the onslaught of my prick.
I plowed her young body. Slowly, insistently I fucked her, holding her very tightly and listening to her body. Her warm body responding to mine so wonderfully. She thrust up harder and harder, she was trying to increase the rhythm of my fucking.
She wanted more of what I was giving her and she wanted it harder and faster. So I gave it to her. I fucked the devil out of her. I plowed her again and again, opening up the walls of her cunt territory, making her writhe and moan beneath me, full of lust and need.
It was much too good to be true, but somehow it was. I rammed my prick into her cunt. I slammed my body down onto hers. She loved all of it. She craved the attentions of my body. I fucked her and loved her and wanted to go on forever. I moved faster and faster, cramming her body full of my cock and balls.
I gripped her ass and slammed my pelvis into hers. She arched her back and sucked in my cock. I rammed my cock deep into her cunt and she responded to all of it, finding my rhythm and staying with it like she was riding a horse.
We fucked faster and faster, worked our bodies into each other vehemently. She yelled things at me, wonderful things, she told me she loved me, that I would fuck her forever that it was the best thing that had ever happened to her. I worked her body full of cock and full of lust.
I thought that I would die and be happy, that nothing would ever compare with this. I was lost to the rhythm of fucking, to the purge of my cock in her cunt. She thrust up, enveloping my prick in the soft folds of her snatch.
I stopped for a moment listening to her breathing, panting myself, trying to control the throbbing of the veins in my cock, the aching of my balls and the fire in my loins. She wriggled underneath me not wanting to stop. I cautioned her, I told her make it last, make it last.
I touched her small, firm tits and kissed her neck. Our mouths were together again and I licked out the inside of her gums. She tongued my teeth and we devoured each other's mouths.
We were off and fucking again. I worked my hard organ into her soft cave. We fucked hard and fast. I pounded her body with my body and she humped me back. She was the embodiment of innocence and sex. She sucked up my cock, she held my back and I held onto her ass for dear life.
I slid a pillow underneath her body and her cunt arched up at me. I banged down onto her. I rammed her full of my cockmeat. I felt like I was soaring, looking down into her angelic and sensual face.
Her body was all over the bed, smooth and undulating. We reached orgasm at the same time. My fucking became erratic and concentrated. I pounded into her and lost consciousness. She moaned and her fingernails dug into my back. I liked that. She drew blood, but it felt good. It felt intense and real.
She spasmed beneath me. Her head rolled about on the bed as I crammed her full of man meat. My cock throbbed and shot its heavy wad straight into her cunt.
I didn't stop, even after my orgasm receded into a blissful weariness. I continued to plow her cunt until I was sure that her terrific pleasure spasms had died off and that she, too, was sailing in a world of sensual satisfaction.
I kissed her mouth, slowly, building the kiss into a hard, wet all-encompassing mouth fuck. She kissed me with all the passion in the world. It made me forget that she was fourteen, that she was the daughter of my best friend.
It made me forget everything but her body and her sweet passion and my hard pleasure.
It must have been about four o'clock in the morning then. It was starting to get light. I sent Elise back to her room though she pleaded with me to let her stay.
I had some heavy thinking to .do. I knew that I would have to say something to her mother. I was filled with fear, I was afraid that it would be the end of a long and fulfilling friendship.
I chickened out though that weekend and left for town, giving out some pretty strange "thank yous" and promising to come back soon. Jeane was as strong as ever about me coming to live in her cottage.
I thought about it all the way home. What it would be like living on the property, near Elise, having her young, warm, and lovely body every night. I thought what I would feel like too, deceiving Jeane that way, that perverted way.
I decided the best thing that I could do, would be to cool it. Keep my distance and all. It wasn't that easy though. My mind was filled with thoughts of Elise. I ended up masturbating just thinking about her.
I tried to find another girl, someone my age. I knew quite a lot of chicks. I tried to fuck them. And sure I got my rocks off but it wasn't the same, it just couldn't compare.
Well, about three weeks later I got a call from Jeane. She was in town and wondered if she could come over to my place. Of course I could have made excuses, said I was busy, put it off, but I knew that sooner or later I was going to have this confrontation with Jeane. I guess I even wanted it. Wanted to confess and be forgotten Qr forgiven. Anything was better than the guilty and lonely hell I was going through.
When she arrived she was cheerful, but I knew that there was something on her mind.
I offered her a drink and after some preliminary small talk which we were both very uncomfortable doing, she went right down to business.
"I'm sorry, Alexis, that I've caused you such pain." she said.
"You? You caused me pain?" I asked, totally confused.
"Yes, it was me, it was me that sent Elise to your room."
"You sent your own daughter to my bedroom to sleep with me?"
I could not believe what she was saying. I thought that I was going insane at that moment. I poured myself another drink.
"Yes, Alexis and I will explain it all now. I don't know how much you know about my sexual life. I don't think I ever talked about it to you in all the years that we've been friends and associates. But I am a lesbian. I knew I was a lesbian when I married my husband. I thought that I could stop it, that I could learn to like sex with a man. Not because I feel that loving a woman is wrong. Oh no, it is the rightest thing in the world for me. But I wanted a family. I really did. My husband was handsome and intelligent. I choose him for his genes when it comes down to it. I checked out all his credentials and then got pregnant. I never thought that he would want to marry me, but he did, he insisted. He said that he loved me. I think that I tried to return that love, but I was empty, full of longing for another woman. Consequently it was a short marriage and when he found out why I had rejected him I lost custody of my child, of Elise. Well, that's all water under the bridge. But I think that one of the reasons that I am a lesbian was because of my early sexual experiences with men. They were awful and dirty and disgusting. I suffered greatly from those beginnings. I often thought that if my sexual experiences had begun with a sensitive and loving man instead of a rude and selfish boy I would have been able to enjoy the satisfaction of a heterosexual relationship.
When I saw Elise coming into sexual maturity, and when I saw the horrible and obnoxious boys that sought her out, I felt sad, I feared for her sensitive and sensual nature.
And then when I saw that she was attracted to you and saw also that you were attracted to her, it occurred to me that I might be doing you both a favor by arranging that you be the first man to have her sexually."
I was dumbfounded. It was incredible. I was even angry with Jeane. I was angry at her for using me in that way, for tampering with my emotional and sexual reactions to assuage some fear she might have for her daughter.
"Why the hell didn't you tell me about this?" I said, "Didn't you think I was open minded enough, did you think I would have to be tricked in order to go along with your scheme?"
Jeane took my hand, "Please don't be angry. Perhaps I have made a mistake. Perhaps I have lost a friend. But let me explain something about fourteen-year-old girls. They are horribly sensitive, they often have great feelings of inferiority. If I had arranged that you would sleep with her, the spontaneity and the beauty might have suffered. Elise is a smart girl, she would have seen the arrangement, would have rejected it emotionally. The idea that she, a fourteen-year-old sexually aroused a grown man, a handsome and intelligent man like yourself was a wonderful thing for her ego. I know that I have done wrong by you and I'm sorry. But couldn't you just put your own ego aside for a moment and think about my daughter?"
Well, Doctor, what else is there to say about that? I was no longer angry at my friend. I did point out to her that fourteen-year-old boys and even thirty-year-old men have very shaky egos too. I know that she had meant well by these actions although her former husband probably would not have agreed.
I have seen Elise again and slept with her. It was just as wonderful as before. Jeane still wants me to quit my job and live in her cottage for awhile, wants me to write or at least try.
I am in a state of utter confusion. What do you think, Doctor? What should I do? Should I go live on their property, continue this relationship with Elise under the watchful eyes of her mother or should I break away from them?
CONCLUSION
If anyone needs therapy in this case, it is Jeane. From the problem that she had as a child she has drawn out her whole life and is now drawing out her child's and her friends. This is an unfortunate situation. Just because she became a lesbian does not mean that her daughter will.
From what Alexis has told me about her, she is given to rather impulsive acts. She tends to live out her fantasies and usually it is better to leave one's fantasies alone. She is not considering the long term effects of her actions.
For instance, Elise may or may not become deeply involved with Alexis, a man much older than her. It could deeply retard her emotional development, it could cause her to grow up too fast, causing her to neglect a very large part of her childhood.
In other words she could instantly become a woman sexually and emotionally while remaining intellectually a child.
Alexis, obviously, is in no mental state for this little menage. He has his own emotional problems to deal with without having Jeane's and later on Elise's.
I also think that Jeane, although she did not admit it or perhaps does not even realize it, is living out her fantasy of sleeping with Alexis through her daughter. Why doesn't she do it herself? Because she is terribly afraid, because her damaged ego will not allow her to be advised by her feelings.
I told Alexis that he should have a long talk with Jeane and that Jeane should have some kind of therapy. Until Jeane is really able to examine her true motives and feelings it would be better to discontinue any other type of relationship.
CASE HISTORY THREE
Subject: Dori H. Age: Sixteen
INTERVIEW ONE
Dori was sent to me by her parents after she ran away from home. The girl seemed to be in quite an emotional state. Some background that I had gotten on her was that she had done very well in school, was well-liked by everyone, seemed to be a very adjusted young lady.
She was certainly attractive enough. Although she still bore the traces of adolescence and was by no means fully developed there was an exotic look to her. Her dark, straight hair hung down to her waist and her green eyes peered through thick, black lashes. Her delicate frame was on the bud of voluptuous flowering.
It seemed hard to believe that someone who as in such a fortunate position would need to run away or would feel emotionally upset.
And yet, Dori was exhibiting real signs of emotional distress. I talked to her for some length about her parents. I asked her if they were presenting problems to her, if it was hard to get along with them. And she replied in the negative.
Slowly I gained her confidence although it took a number of weeks. This is titled the first interview because it's the first time that she opened up to me and got close to the heart of her problem.
I guess it was inevitable that I would have to tell somebody about this. I guess it might as well be you, because you're not supposed to tell anyone or anything.
like all the signs say, I'm supposed to be a very happy individual. Why not? My parents are really pretty nice, pretty honest and free with me. I gave good friends, good grades and all that shit.
And the truth of it is, that for a long time I was happy and well-adjusted. My mother's Spanish and my father is Jewish. Some combination, huh? I guess my parents had a lot of problems with that, but they always protected me.
I met this boy a few months ago. His name is Russell. I had had sex with other guys before. But he was different. He's from a real uptight family, but that never affected him.
I had never felt that way about anybody before. Russell was so kind, so beautiful. He had pale skin and tight, blonde curls and blue eyes. I loved to look at him and I loved to be with him. I guess that for the first time in my life I was in love. My life, for awhile seemed better than ever before.
But Russell's family disapproved of me. Especially his father, the bastard. It was prejudice, plain and simple. Whenever I was over to his house, his father made rude remarks directed toward me.
Russell is eighteen and he lived in this room over his parent's garage. It was summer and since I lived very close to him, it was no trouble for me to sneak out of my house at night and go to his room. We did that for months.
It was so wonderful sleeping with him. I loved the way he touched my body, the way he lay on top of me, the things that he said to me. I thought that no one could be as happy as we were.
Russell worked during the day, so often he would leave me sleeping in his bed to go to work. I would awake and hour later or so and sneak back to my house. We never worried about getting caught or anything.
That's how it happened. Russell left for work and I lay sort of half asleep, naked and languid in his bed watching the sunlight on the floor and the wall. I felt so terribly good.
Suddenly I heard someone coming up the stairs. I thought it was Russell and smiled. But when the door opened I saw that it was his father. I hurriedly covered my body.
The man was looking at me real funny, he looked amused and angry at the same time.
"So you little whore! You've been sleeping with my son right under my nose have you?" He said, moving toward me and pulling the covers roughly away from me.
His eyes took in my body and I was frightened. I had no idea what he was going to do about this.
"Are you going to tell my parents?" I asked.
He laughed at me, his eyes still viewing my naked body. "You know, that's a nice little body you got there, I'll bet you're good in bed, too, I've heard that your type is."
That was a horrible thing to say and I became even more frightened.
"What are you going to do?" I asked.
He moved toward me, a horrible smile on his face. "What am I going to do?" he said, his hand going to the front of his pants, "I'm going to sample your wares, honey."
He whipped out his cock and at the same time I tried to jump away from the bed, he grabbed me and threw me down against the mattress. I fought him, but he hit me in the face. T started to cry.
He sat on top of me and his hands clutched my breasts roughly. I saw his cock. It was big and red and ugly. I struggled underneath me and he hit me again.
He turned me over on my stomach and lowered himself onto me. I felt his cock on my ass-hole, he moved his body up and down sliding his cock up and down my ass. It felt hard and hot.
He roughly pulled my legs apart. "I'm going to fuck you in the ass, sweetie." he said, grabbing my hair hard.
He slipped his cock down between my ass-cheeks and the head fit into my hole. I gasped and tightened up and he slapped my ass telling me to relax or else it was going to hurt a whole lot more.
He drove his cock all the way up my ass. He reached underneath and grabbed my tits, he pinched the nipples and squeezed the globes hard. My mouth was open and as his cock began to move inside of my painful ass he stuffed two fingers into my mouth, way down into my throat so that I gagged.
I felt like biting him but it didn't seem like a good idea at the time. He took them out anyway and went for my cunt. He stuffed his fingers up my snatch and worked them around.
He pulled my ass-cheeks apart and watched his cock plowing the canal . He fucked me frantically grabbing at my tits and my cunt. He shoved his cock up my ass-hole, caring nothing for how I felt. I had never been fucked in the ass, much less so brutally and it was a terrible pain.
I started to cry and moan and that seemed to stimulate him to harder fucking.
"Yeah, c'mon, cry and piss and moan, little whore, I like the sound, it makes my cock feel real good to hear you crying like that."
He moved faster and faster and weaved from side to side. He slammed in deeply and pulled his cock out to the tip. His fingers were still deeply imbedded in my cunt, he was rubbing my clitoris and dammit it all started to feel good, i don't know why that was. But I fought with it.
His cock went in and out and his hands clutched my cunt. I started to lose control of myself. Suddenly he pulled his throbbing dick out of my ass-hole, but he didn't climb off of me.
Then he turned me over. He reached down and grabbed my cunt. He pulled my pubic hairs, twisted them, pulled them so that I tired out. He stuck four fingers into my cunt. I winched and cried out. He started to fuck me with four fingers, it hurt a lot, but then he stuffed his whole hand up there and I screamed in pain.
"Oh you don't like that? Well suck my cock then." he commanded.
Dammit, it hurt so much that I was willing to do anything, just to ease some of the pain he was causing me. He placed his cock in front of me and I dutifully opened my mouth.
I took the head right inside, between my lips and I started to suck him off. He shoved his hips forward and his cock slid further up inside my throat.
"That's a girl, suck my nice big cock. You like it don't you? You like to suck nice, big cock." He shoved it further into my mouth, distending my lips and cheeks.
I decided that if I did a good job he would let me go. So I worked on it. I massaged his prick with my free hand. I shot my tongue out of my mouth and licked the head of his cock. I fucked my tongue back and forth. I aimed it at the tip of his prick and licked up the drops of pre-come oozing out.
I ran my tongue along the length of his prick, tracing each vein from the base up to the swollen red crown. His cock throbbed hotly in my mouth and he put his hand on my head and pushed me down on his cock. He wasn't talking to me anymore, he wasn't saying any of those nasty things, so I just kept working on his dong.
I decided not to neglect his nuts. I started to lick them and then I took them in my mouth and swished them around with my tongue. I licked and sucked those balls. Then I took his cock back into my mouth. I opened my mouth very wide and took his prick in.
I took the dick all the way into the back of my throat as far as it would go. But he wasn't satisfied, he wanted it all the way down. He pushed forward and shoved his membrane down to the root. He did it fast, so I didn't gag. He was humping my face.
All that artistry that I had tried on him had not been enough. He just wanted to fuck my face. He was already aroused by the fact that he was forcing me to do things that I didn't want to do. He didn't need me trying.
He shoved the cock into my mouth harder and harder and I thought for sure he was going to come. But instead he pulled the throbbing, slimy cock out of my mouth and pushed me back against the bed.
He was breathing heavily panting like a big pig and I was heaving myself. I was no longer afraid, I just wanted to get this over with. He was dragging it out for as long as he could.
I briefly thought about Russell, about how tenderly he had made love to me the night before. Always concerned for how I felt Always anxious to please me. How different was his father. How disgusting he made sex.
And yet there was a strange kind of feeling creeping over me. I didn't give in to it, but it was there nevertheless. A strange kind of arousal in my groin.
Now he moved down and planted himself between my legs. He pried them open as wide as he could and brought his cock to my cunt lips. He looked at me for a real long time, maybe a couple of minutes that seemed like eternity. Then he plunged into my cunt with one long shot.
I cried out in pain and disgust. He hooked his arms around the backs of my knees and forced my legs up to my chest. That action brought my cunt all the way up and forward and totally exposed to the ravages of his cock. He slammed his full weight into me, his balls banged hard against my sore ass-hole.
I tried to fight him, but he enjoyed hitting me so much. He fucked me like he was trying to destroy me, like he was trying to wipe me, to fuck me off the face of the earth.
I was pinned by his weight and his cock slammed into me, again and again and again.
The size of it filled my entire snatch and he had no concern for my body.
As it was my legs felt like they were breaking, being pushed against my chest. He leaned down on my body and filled me again and again with his hard, throbbing cock.
He was covered with sweat and he looked like a wild animal devouring newly killed prey. His face glared down into mine.
I was totally at his mercy and he showed none. He just continued to fuck me harder and faster, pressing his huge body deep into mine.
He slammed his cock into me, he shoved my legs against my chest and pumped me full of his dick. He rammed his tool through my cunt lips. He worked faster and faster. He pumped me full of his big body. He glared at me and fucked me.
He started to come. He closed his eyes for the first time and he went wild, fucking me erratically. Pinching my nipples and fucking me and fucking me and fucking me. I thought I was losing my mind. My cunt was numb, any feelings of arousal that there might have been were lost in the vehemence of his cock.
He shot his wad into my cunt and then fucked me some more.
After that, he pulled away from me breathing hard. He grabbed my hair and pulled my face up to his.
"How did you like that, bitch? Did you like my cock, do you like the way I fucked you?"
I started to cry and he shoved me down on the bed.
He grabbed me again and pulled me up to his face. "If you say a word about this I promise you, you will be very sorry. No one will believe you. They will think that you are only trying to avoid getting in trouble for having sex with my son."
He need not have said that. It was unimaginable to me that I should tell Russell about what his father did to me, that I should tell my parents. I could not think of how I would have told anyone, even my best girl friend.
For awhile I did not stay with Russell but since I could not tell him why, he began to wonder if I didn't love him any more. Once more I went to stay with him every night. Every morning I awoke alone in his bed his father would come.
Yes, his father would come and would rape me. I came to expect it. Yes, I came to enjoy it. To enjoy it so much that I no longer enjoyed sleeping with his son who was tender and sweet and who loved me.
That's why I ran away. I felt dirty and disgusting and I wanted to get away from the whole town, from my whole life.
This indeed was a very interesting story to me, but our hour was up and I had to ask Dori to return the following week.
I did ask her if she was seeing either the father or the son and she said that she Was not seeing anyone. Her life was confined at the present to her schoolwork and her parent's house. I told her that I thought it was a good idea that she avoid Russell and his father, but that it would also be a good idea to get out of the house once in awhile, see some of her friends, even accept dates.
She said she would try and do that.
INTERVIEW TWO
Dori returned the following week, anxious this time to get on with her story.
Well, Doctor, I ran away. I had been thinking about doing it ever since the first time Russell's father raped me. I had some money of my own, but it wasn't enough.
I had by this time seen a pattern in my mornings spent in Russell's room. Russell left, his father came and raped me and then he went to work. At that time, after he left, there was no one in the house.
That particular morning he was really horny. I thought that he would never finish with me. He fucked my mouth, he fucked my ass and he fucked my cunt. Then he got his rocks off again by squeezing my tits around his pulsing cock. He shot his sperm all over my chest.
I was patient though and after I heard his car leave I got dressed and went into the house. We live in a very small town you see, where nobody ever locks the back door.
I went all through the house finally ending up in Russell's father's bedroom. I went through his drawers and underneath his underwear I found three hundred dollars.
I took the money and went home. Neither of my parents were home since they both worked, too. I gathered my stuff together. I didn't take much, just a change of clothing, my toothbrush, stuff like that.
I went to the next town and took a train to the city. I had enough money so that I could take a plane anywhere that I wanted to, but I realized that if I did that I would be broke when I arrived or very soon after. I decided to take a bus to Pennsylvania and hitchhike.
I didn't know where I was going, but I thought that maybe out west it would be better for me.
Hah! My first ride was okay. It was some old dude who was real paternal. He said he had a daughter about my age and he wanted to know if I was a runaway or anything. He was a pam in the ass.
My next ride was with a couple of freaks who were really nice. A guy and a chick. They had a van and their life seemed really pleasant.
But this time I was in the Midwest and I got picked up by two truck drivers. They were friendly, maybe a little too friendly, but it was a good long ride and when they stopped at this truck place they asked me if they could buy me a meal. I said sure, why not.
Then I heard them talking to each other about how they would get a room for me and all. I knew that this was not going to be easy to get out of. I knew that they wanted to fuck me. i thought it over in my mind and decided to do it. I mean after all, it couldn't be worse than Russell's father.
They got a motel room and right away went to work on me. They took all my clothes off, and then they took off their own clothing. They were a lot older than me, but not so old as Russell's father.
They both had big, long, red, hard cocks that were pointing at me. I felt a tremor of fear. I thought, shit, they could do anything they wanted to me, they could kill me if they wanted to.
But it was exciting too. They moved towards me, wanting to savor my flesh. They wanted to touch my tits, they wanted to play with my cunt. They had every intention of taking their time.
I touched one of the cocks when it was in reach. It was hard and stiff and the veins were thick. I could hardly get my fist around it it was so big. I started to stroke it and the guy lies down on the bed and let me work on his cock. I was fascinated by his cock. Such a big, hard cock.
The other dude started to run his hands along the smooth flesh of my thighs. His hand went almost to my cunt and then went down again. I was already feeling aroused.
He touched my cunt. His hand pressed hard against my snatch and then his fingers went up and down my cunt lips. His finger found my clit and he pinched it rather hard. I squirmed on his hand, I was getting turned-on.
I pulled the cock quickly, harder, I rubbed the head of his dick with my thumb. I squeezed his balls which hung down real far. His friend started to push me down into his crotch. T wondered if the fucking thing would fit into my mouth. I took the pulsating dick between my lips and sucked tentatively. He squirmed and moaned and said what a good fuck I was going to be.
The other guy was going to town on my cunt. His fingers flew in and out of my hole and he pinched my clit and pinched my cunt lips. Suddenly I realized that he was going to suck me off while I sucked off his friend.
I sucked on the wide head of the cock and then started to make my way down toward the root. I was only about halfway to the mark when I felt I was as far down as I could go. It was just too fucking big.
I moved up and down the length, licking and sucking. The guy pushed up with his hips trying to get me to take more of his huge member.
The other guy's mouth was on my cunt and he was licking the shit out of me. I felt hot and knew that I was secreting lots of fuck sauce. He bit my clitoris and I cried out through the thick meat in my mouth.
As the guy sucked my clitoris, he finger-fucked me and it really turned me on. I squirmed around on the bed and on the cock that I was trying to suck.
The body attached to that cock thrust up at my face and I plunged down as far as I could go. His cock sliced in too far and I gagged. It was slippery and big and it poked at my tonsils.
I went back up to the head and wormed out his piss slit. The guy moaned and I worked on the top for awhile, all the while being finger-fucked and sucked from below.
The guy shot his finger into my cunt, then another finger, then a third. He finger-fucked me really good, in and out, in and out. I was aroused as hell.
I remembered Russell's father, his brutal taking of my body. This was good but I kept thinking about the way he fucked. His cock was just as big as these guys, just as red. I hardly thought about Russell at all.
I sucked on that cock. I thought, about how it would feel inside my cunt. Would it feel like Russell's father's cock. Someone was clutching at my ass, playing with my ass-hole. They pulled my ass cheeks apart.
There was a tongue in my as.;. It lapped through the ass muscles, it reamed me out. I was breathing hard. The tongue fucked my ass-hole. I took the cock out of my mouth and enjoyed the good feeling of being reamed out.
I lay on my side and suddenly while I got my ass reamed out, the other guy went down on my cunt and started to lick out my cunt. It was too fucking good and I started to come right away. It was a brief but intense orgasm and I squirmed all over the bed in delightful agony.
I went down on the other guy's cock. I took it all the way to the root and bobbed up and down on it. The cock throbbed in my mouth.
After awhile I returned to the other guy, he lay on his back and I tongued his ass-hole. He squirmed when my tongue lapped all the way from his ass down to suck his balls. I took both of his nuts in my mouth and washed them and sucked them. They guy moaned with pleasure.
His cock pushed hard against my head. I took the long dick in my mouth and sucked it again. He thrust his body up. I went down slowly, with his insistent humping of my face. He shoved it down hard and I took it. I choked, but I took all of it down my throat. He fucked my face for awhile.
Then he pushed me off his cock over on the bed, on my back. They spread my legs and looked at my glistening cunt for awhile. The first one mounted me and inserted the head of his cock into my cunt with his fingers. He was breathing hard, wanting to fuck hard and heavy.
The head pushed between my cunt lips and then he drove his tool up into my cunt. I thrust my body up and sucked it in. It filled my cunt like cement. His hips rose and he fell down onto my body. He used my body like a springboard, he fucked me hard. He rammed his flaming tool through my cunt.
I screamed and scratched his back. It was too much. He breathed heavy, he grunted. He fucked me hard with his tool. He crammed my cunt full of his need, his lust. He tore my body open with his hot cock.
I could hardly think, hardly feel. But I knew that somebody, the other guy was parting my ass-cheeks. In a flash I knew what was going to happen. I was going to get fucked up the ass, too.
I was impaled on a ravaging cock that just would not quit. I screamed as the other cock tore through my ass-hole and filled me with its throbbing heat.
They sliced in and out of me, those two cocks. They fucked me simultaneously, they didn't care about me, they just fucked and fucked.
Their cocks were thrilling me, parting my cunt and ass with each lunge, reaching all the way into the middle of my body. The cock in my cunt felt great, but the one in my ass hole felt just as good, just as hard and just as throbbingly hot.
I started to writhe, to move really crazy, my body had a life besides my mind. I was like a holy roller or something. I knew that the drivers were going to come soon. I screamed out loud and they fucked me harder.
I started to come again and I was crushed between them, impaled on two cocks. They split me wide open. I entered my orgasm just as I felt the cock in my cunt lunge in and out spurting about a gallon of sperm. The sperm in my sore ass hole felt good, too.
They fucked me until I was finished, until I was unconscious. Then they took me out to the truck. They drove me the rest of the way to Denver and everything was just fine.
I still had quite a bit of money when I arrived, so I went to the park and hung around. I found some kids who were sharing a house and they told me I could crash at their place for awhile. They were nice people. I soon found a job as a waitress, lying about my age and experience.
I wasn't particularly thrilled with the work but at least I wouldn't go hungry. After a few weeks I called my parents and told them that I was all righc. They traced the call and found me.
So now you know, Doc, why I ran away. Russell tried to see me, in fact, he calls every day. I know that he still loves me, but I'm afraid of his father, what should I do?
CONCLUSION
This is an interesting although not unusual case. Dori is in great need of help, of mental help. The fact is, she enjoyed, or rather sought out being raped by her boy friend's father. There are many reasons for this. It could be that she felt some sort of guilt for sleeping with Russell and she wanted to be punished for it.
But I don't think that that is the reason. I think that it is Russell's father's prejudice and hatred that she is seeking out. Dori feels deep seeded inferiority in her subconscious due to her genealogy. Although her parents protected her as best they could, it was inevitable that this kind of wretched thing would surface in one way or another.
It usually surfaces in rejection by peers, or by employers, things which can be dealt with easier. But she was unfortunate enough to come across a very sick man who took advantage of her youth and her situation to play out his perverted fantasies.
He broke down the girl's self respect which was shaky to begin with. That is why it was easy for her to give her body to two strangers as a receptacle for their immediate lust.
The fact that she is still able to function with people as an equal in a non-sexual way, therefore the young people she lived with in Denver, indicates that there is still a great part of her that is mentally healthy.
With some good, heavy therapy, Dori will soon be able to function as a self respecting and healthy individual. As to her boy friend's father, I recommended that with her permission I would speak to her parents of this. I told her that the man was a criminal to force himself on a girl, and worse, to force his cruel fantasies on her.
After awhile Dori came to agree with me and her parents were informed of the incident. The man is now being prosecuted for rape.
Russell was very affected by what his father had done and I doubt very much whether he and Dori will ever able ever to assume their former relationship. It is an unfortunate thing, but both of them I am sure will live through the trauma and be healed by time.
CASE HISTORY FOUR
Subject: Carol D. Age: Twenty-three
INTERVIEW ONE
When Carol D. walked into my office I was struck immediately by her remarkable beauty and physical grace. She was a beautiful woman, slightly taller than average, with black curly hair and creamy pale skin. She was very slender yet there was a voluptuousness about her body and her carriage. Yet this beautiful young woman was obviously overwrought and anxious.
Well I guess I feel pretty strange finding myself in a shrink's office again. I was in therapy before, a long time ago, when I was sixteen. That lasted for a year and a half and by the time it was over I thought I had myself put together just fine.
But here I am again. I'm about to do something really crazy, doctor. I think I'm about to run away with a man I hardly even know. It all happened so quickly. I'm married. Carl and I have known each other since we were freshmen in college and then we got married two years ago when I found I was pregnant.
Don't get the idea that's the only reason we got married. We really loved each other. I still love Carl very much. But Doctor, I wasn't cut out for domesticity! I wasn't meant for this kind of life! I think sometimes I'll scream if I have to look another frying pan in the eye, clean one more shitty diaper, fry one more egg.
Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if we weren't so poor. Carl is finishing his last year at the university. We live in the married student's apartments. Really, they're just old army barracks that were converted after world war II. It's grim.
We have so little money. My family is well-to-to. In fact, all my life I've had it pretty easy. I went to the best schools, always had plenty of beautiful clothes. Now it's luxury to buy a bottle of wine!
And our marriage has suffered from all this deprivation and domesticity. It's just not like it once was. I remember the first time Carl and I made love.
We had been friends for months. Just friends. We met in an English seminar and discovered that we were turned on by the same writers and the same books. We used to get together and talk books and eventually to confide in one another. Even though I knew he was a very attractive man, I was happy with our relationship as it was. It was a real trip for me to have a man friend.
Anyway, one Monday night after class we went to a beer garden near campus to talk about the books we'd discussed in class. We just kept talking and talking until the place closed so we went to my apartment for more beer and talk.
Well we talked and drank ourselves silly. Finally we were just sort of staring into each other's eyes in that giddy spaced-out way you get after about a gallon of beer. I knew Carl couldn't possibly drive back to his place as drunk as he was so I said:
"Hey you better not try to drive home."
"Yeah. I better stay here. Right?"
"Right. Come on, I'll show you where to sleep." So I got all groggy and tottered into my roommate's bedroom. She wasn't home because she usually stayed with her old man. Carl was right behind me. I could feel his breath on the back of my neck.
At that moment I had a sudden thought that it wouldn't be so bad sacking out with him. Of course I pushed that one aside right away. I mean we were friends! Finally I reached Holly's bed, pulled down the covers and said 'why don't you sleep here. Holly's off at Ron's house tonight.'
Carl stood in front of me. My back was to the bed. "Sure this is great." But he didn't move. He didn't start to get into bed or anything. We just looked at each other for about thirty seconds.
Then it felt to me that someone had just flicked a switch in me. Passion flooded my body like a bank of arc lights beaming on. My cunt felt all spongy and hot and juicy. My chest began to heave. I was panting as if I were in the middle of an orgasm.
Carl felt it too. He just leaned into me a little bit and our drunkenness made us fall down on the bed with Carl on top. Oh shit, I can hardly remember what we did. I could hardly remember the next morning. But thinking about it now, I'm really getting turned on.
It's hard to believe so much has changed in our life. Carl began kissing me ferociously. His tongue penetrated into the deepest recesses of my mouth and the top of my throat. At first I was surprised and I just sat there, but then the impact of it hit me and I began to return his probing kiss with just as much passion and exploration.
His tongue felt like a separate animal from his body. It seemed to have a life of its own and it plunged in and out of my mouth, searched my teeth and inner cheeks, kneaded my tongue.
I pulled his lower lip into my mouth and sucked on it like a piece of candy. It tasted better than any candy. The taste of his flesh felt like home or some special place even more wonderful and mystical that I'd always been meant to visit.
Our kissing alone was enough to make our hearts pound and our limbs throb. Every nerve ending in my body was awakened by his presence. I felt that I was bathed in warm running water and it was slowly thawing out my flesh.
I don't know how we got our clothes off. The zippers seemed to melt, the buttons flew off. Our clothes melted from our bodies. Yet it wasn't fast enough. I wanted more than anything to feel the long smooth warmth of his flanks pressed tight against me. I wanted to feel his strong, wide, hard chest crushing against my breasts.
Eventually my wish came true. Somehow we were naked together. The sensation of our flesh against flesh felt so exciting that we just rubbed against each other for minutes spreading our smoothness against hardness and softness. So warm, so urgent. It was the most exciting foreplay I had ever experienced. It was more than foreplay or getting into the act. It was as if all of that had happened a long time ago. This was more intense than some orgasms have been.
Finally just rubbing up against each other wasn't enough. Carl grabbed my tit and squeezed my nipple teasingly as he went down my body from throat to knees with a chain of hot, grazing kisses that seemed to light a string of fires down my flesh.
I creamed from the intense stimulation and tried to grab whatever part of him I could to suck and nibble. But he had me in an impossible position. All I could do was to lie there and enjoy it.
After he got down to my knees with kisses he began working back up again, traveling up the insides of my thighs. My cunt began to pulse and throb. I knew he was going to eat me out. I gasped again and threw my pelvis up in the air to receive his hungry mouth. Thank heavens he didn't waste much time working up to my cunt.
He pulled my thighs apart with his big strong hands and slowly lowered his head into the well between my legs. I screamed before he even touched the sensitive flesh of my cunt with his hot, firm tongue.
He lapped gently at the lips, as if he were exploring their silky surface with his tongue. I pleaded with him to do more, go further, harder, deeper. But he took his time. After he had washed over the entire surface of the inner cunt lips, he gradually worked in towards the center.
Carl let his lips move in and out of my cunt hole slowly, lighting up the flesh with the heat of desire. I could feel my cunt opening up for penetration, needing the thudding pressure of his cock. But he pulled away from my cunt hole and began playing with my clit, flicking it lightly with his tongue.
Suddenly all the pressure and tension exploded and I lost consciousness for a minute. AH I was are of was the great heat and swelling in my body as it exploded in orgasm. My cunt went through convulsions as he continued to barrage it with his tongue. The more I shuddered and gasped the more he licked and sucked. Finally the waves of orgasm subsided. All I wanted was to feel his cock in my mouth.
I pulled his hips around and got him to straddle my face as he continued to explore my cunt with tongue and fingers. Carl rose up a little on his knees so that his cock hung down just in front of my mouth.
And I do mean "hung"-He had the biggest, most beautiful cock I'd ever laid eyes on. Maybe it only looked that way to me then because I wanted it so much, but it looked like a work of art-long and thick and straight except for the head which bulged out like a distended purplish balloon.
I reached out for it with both hands and gently pulled the head into my mouth. His cockflesh was hot and swollen with passion. I could feel the pulse shooting up and down the shaft. I took it greedily, filling my entire mouth with its length and breadth.
I sucked and pulled on the hot eager cockflesh with my mouth, letting it slide in and out of me just like he was fucking my mouth. All the time I thought about just how each millimeter of it would feel sliding up my aching cunthole.
While I sucked his dick I tugged gently on his balls with my hands and sometimes I would drop them then squeeze his buns and then pull them apart slowly.
I felt hungry for his cock and so I sucked it like it was food or a giant popsicle. His balls were like pleasing toys to me. I really got off on his muffled moans and groans as I played with his equipment. I could barely hear what he was saying but the vibrations of his voice were doing the most amazing things to my cunt channel.
I slowly plunged one finger deep into his tight little ass-hole as I sucked his cock and played with his balls. This seemed to be it for Carl. I knew that all this stimulation was leading one place. He was bound to shoot his wad-into my mouth.
I longed to taste his hot, tangy gism but that would just have to wait for a more leisurely occasion. Now all I could think about was getting his cock buried deep into my aching cunt before it exploded in a gush of juices.
My cunt was frothing now with all the juices he had milked out of it. I had come at least once and there were two or three times when I wasn't sure. So much was going on that I could hardly tell the difference between his spasms and my own.
T pulled his cock out of my mouth for a second and said, "Carl, I want you to fuck me now. Give me your cock, plunge it up my cunt! Carl give me your cock. Fuck me hard! Now!"
That was a command he couldn't refuse to obey. He quickly flipped around and turned over so that we were face to face. His nose, mouth and chin were bearded in the pearly juices of my cunt. He looked like he had been lapping milk out of a bowl.
I felt a great wave of love and tenderness wash over me then. Just the sight of him looking so dazed and hungry and dripping with my juices made me love him. I knew our relationship would be very different from here on in.
I was ready for him when he turned over on top of me. My legs clinched around his hips and joined behind him so our pelvises were glued together. When his cock slid into my pussy I almost swooned. It felt so hard and long and hot. It just seemed to keep coming and keep coming until I felt I was completely filled with him. But there was just a little bit more.
It was beautiful! Such a snug fit! For a moment we just lay there looking into each other's eyes, feeling what it was like to be joined so closely. Our bodies were sensitized to one another to such a degree that when his shoulder twitched mine twitched back.
Slowly Carl began to pull back and then fall back into me. Each stroke was like a total caress. I gasped with each rise and fall.
Gradually the tempo picked up and before I knew it we were fucking like the house was on fire and this was our last chance to fuck.
We fucked so hard and fast that when we came together our bodies smacked and thudded. I don't know where we found the energy to pump so hard and fast after so much beer and talk. I shocked myself with the energy that seemed to pour out of my veins.
I gasped and arched my back into his pounding. The orgasm was beginning again. I held myself out to him for at least a whole moment, letting him pound into me again and again, trying to spread my legs further apart then ever so that every last particle of his cock would fit into me.
Then I collapsed on the bed panting and sweating. All my muscles seemed to lose their strength as the juices of my orgasm flooded and drained from all over my body through my cunt. I felt I was hooked up to electric currents and all I could do was lie there kissing him and rubbing his back.
After a few moments I began to revive, throwing my hips up to him like a basket to catch his cock. I wanted more, more, more. I knew I could never have enough of this wonderful experience. My cunt seemed to clutch his cock, closing around it like a squeezing glove.
He felt the change in my cunt and it drove him crazy. He had been wonderful holding back for so long. Now there was no way he could stop the inevitable explosion that was brewing deep below his belly.
Carl gripped my shoulders as if he were hanging from a cliff and pounded into my cunt with even greater force than before. I felt the spasms begin in his thighs. His rhythm broke for a minute and then started again quicker than before.
He began to moan a deep cry into my ear. I could feel his hot breath sighing against the secret flesh in the fold between my throat and shoulder. It thrilled my cunt like a lick from his tongue. His cry grew more intense and his whole body became as rigid as his steely cock.
He strained into me for one last thrust that seemed to go far deeper than any of the others. He hit smack against the end of my cunt, rocking my womb up into my body. It was the most thrilling, total feeling. Then I felt his gism come shooting out the head of his cock, deep into my cunt passage. Carl's body shivered and a sweat broke out from his chest to his knees. Even though he had just shot his load he still wanted to burrow into my cunt just a little deeper. We nuzzled and ground into each other tenderly, slowly. All the intense need was gone. It just felt too good to stop.
Within a few minutes we both had fallen asleep in each other's arms, still stroking and kissing each other's bodies until our consciousness slipped away.
We didn't wake up until the next morning when Holly came into her room to pick up a change of clothes and some notebooks before she went on to class.
She was pretty surprised to see us there in bed. We woke up gradually and all three of us had a good laugh about it.
Things were so simple and happy then. We spent almost all our time together after that. We never had a fight or disagreement. We collaborated on all our English papers. We started planning to take the same courses. We talked long into the night about philosophy, art, literature. We cooked beautiful meals together, sang, danced, went camping. And of course we fucked. We fucked all the time and it never seemed like enough.
In those days Carl and I never had fights, we never even disagreed on things. At least not on important things. We fell in love gradually. And who could have doubted that it would last forever? We were friends so long, and then lovers so gradually.
I got pregnant in the spring of our sophomore year. I figured the best thing would be to have an abortion but Carl didn't want that. I was touched. I just melted when he said he wanted to marry me. All my life I'd sworn I didn't want to get married, but something happens to a woman when she's pregnant. She gets really soft in the head and very sentimental. I sure did.
We told our parents we were getting married and they almost hit the roof. My mother had met Carl once and she thought he seemed like a pretty nice guy, but she didn't want me to marry him. He didn't have enough ambition.
They told me if I married him they would cut off my trust fund so I couldn't get any of the money until I was twenty-five. But that didn't stop me. No sir. We were married and six months later we were parents.
At first it was a lot of fun. The first month or so. But I started being unfaithful to him two weeks after we got back from our honeymoon-a sailing expedition in the Gulf of Mexico. At first I felt guilty about my infidelities.
After a while though, they became necessary. There was no way I could stay married to him without fucking other men. Something had changed in our relationship. Carl just loved being married, being a father. He started talking about life insurance for hell's sake ! When we fucked it was nice but it didn't rock my soul like it had when we weren't tied down by those ridiculous vows.
He began to seem duller and more staid. The only thing that kept me alive was other men. Other men are all over the place around the university. I seem to attract them like flies.
I knew I was using sex to compensate for everything else that had ground to a standstill in my life, but I couldn't stop. I had dropped out of school when Jamie was born. I quit writing, reading, making jewelry-yes, I used to make really beautiful jewelry. I've been doing it since I was ten years old.
Well, all that stopped. I was choked by domesticity. We were so poor. We're still so poor. I'm leaving Carl and I don't even know where I'm going to come up with the plane fare to L.A.
Unfortunately, I had to stop Carol at this point. Our hour was up. She had worked herself into a state of great anxiety talking about her marriage. She had been distraught when she walked into my office but now she was trembling with anger and frustration. Because she was so keyed up, I gave Carol some mild tranquilizers to tide her over until our next interview, which was to take place the following day.
INTERVIEW TWO
The next time Carol came into my office she looked pale and drawn. Her cheeks were drawn tight against the bones and there was a hollowness around her eyes that made her look very gaunt and tired. She wore a long skirt-that fell to her ankles and she clutched a shawl around her breasts.
"It's been really difficult since I saw you yesterday," she whispered hoarsely. "Originally I thought I would stay here until Christmas when I have a check coming in but now I realize that's stupid. I'm leaving in two weeks.
I know that isn't exactly in keeping with the rules of therapy. When you go into therapy you're supposed to stick around for a while. I would, but I just can't stand it here any longer. I've got to get out to L.A. I have to get to Dave.
Things have been rough for so long. I just can't bear much more of this. There's so much to catch you up on, so much I have to tell you before you can begin to make sense of my story. I guess I better start with how I met Dave."
There were only two good things about moving into the married student's apartments, as far as I can see. One, the ugliness and poverty of it all finally jolted me to get off my ass and start making jewelry again. And two: I got to meet Frank, our next door neighbor.
Frank is a fascinating man. He's strictly a friend, just a very, very good friend. He's a widower and he lives in the apartment next door to us with his daughter JoAnn. She's about Jason's age, a little older, but anyway they play together and Frank trades babysitting favors with us. That's how we got to know each other.
He's the most provoking man I've ever known. There's no bullshit left in him after all the things he's been through in the past five years. A lot of people would think he was a total cynic and he is cynical. But really what's remarkable about him is his total realism. He's a good balance for me and more than once I've thanked whatever gods there be that we happened to move in next door to him.
It's partly because of him that I started making jewelry again. He had some friends who sell jewelry in their shop and he helped me sell the first few pieces. The trouble is that in this town jewelers are a dime a dozen. I have no overhead since my workshop is in my living room but it's still hard to make money off it here.
I make fine jewelry, and it's getting better. It's gotten much cleaner, less sentimental, more abstract. And that's partly thanks to Frank. But the best thing Frank ever did for me was to get his friend Dave to come visit him from L.A. He used to be the drummer in the same band where Dave was the guitarist.
Dave came in August for two weeks. The first night they came over to our place after supper and we all sat around drinking tequila with lemon juice and salt, talking philosophy. Right away I could tell that Dave was somebody special. He took out away ahead of the rest of us and before a couple of hours was over we all just sat there listening to him speak.
And so good looking! I had no intention of getting into a sexual thing with him but I couldn't help but feel an intense attraction to him. He's very tall-maybe six-four or five. Tall men always make me melt.
His hair is straw blonde and rather long, but groomed in a subtle way that keeps it sensual and free looking even though it's tidy enough to satisfy even a picky middle-aged man. There's something about his face that always makes me feel my heart turning over. He was high, wide cheekbones and large wide-set blue eyes that make him look like he just walked in from the steppes.
Yes, he's a beautiful man. And brilliant. He is a genius. That isn't a word I throw around. I am extremely intelligent so I'm not impressed with just common good sense. Dave is brilliant. He is a researcher for a computer manufacturer in L.A. But he's also a musician and an artist.
I didn't intend to follow through on any of these feelings of attraction. I swear that up and down. Even though he was very attractive I just felt it would be too incestuous. He was staying with Dave and right next door to Carl and me!
That night after the party broke up Carl and I went to bed. He wanted to fuck but lately I can't bear the thought of sex with him. It's become so mechanical. It just makes me sad when I think of how fiery it once was. He comes to me almost begging, pleading for my body. I can't take it.
But that night I gave in, without much passion, but agreeably as I could. I felt sorry for him and I really regretted all the discord between us. It wasn't very good for either of us. In fact, I couldn't sleep from the unrelieved tension in my cunt.
Carl dropped off to sleep pretty soon and there I was, as rigid as a board and feeling miserable. It was an insufferably hot night. I could hardly breathe in the stillness of that hovering heat. I decided to get up.
Many nights I go downstairs and sit on the front porch. There's a breeze there and I love to smell my flowers and see the bright moon. The nights are really beautiful here. I sit out there with my notebook and write all the pain and sadness.
That night it was a special relief to feel the breezes playing through the thin cloth of my negligee. The air seemed to lift the sweat and tiredness from my skin and a lot of the aching boredom of my life seemed to float away with the heat. I took out my notebook but I didn't write. I just thought about things.
After an hour or so I heard a stirring next door. Frank's apartment and ours share the same front porch. I figured he was having trouble sleeping or something. I went on with my reveries.
In a moment though I heard the door open. It was Dave. His log, tanned body was covered only by a pair of short cutoffs, well-seasoned and softened by months of wear and washing. His hair was ruffled and there was sleep in his eyes.
"Hi, couldn't you sleep either?" he asked.
"No. This heat is so oppressive. Our bedroom might as well be a closet for all the air we get. I love to sit out here at night. The air is so sweet and it's quiet. It's never quiet during the day when all the children are playing in the courtyard."
"Yeah, this place is really pretty at night. You almost forget how dilapidated it is in the day. I had a dream that woke me up. Too hot to sleep again."
We didn't talk for a long time, just stared up at the moon. In fact, I almost forgot Dave was there. When he broke the silence I was startled.
"You know, Carol, for such a pretty lady you sure look unhappy. What's holding you back?"
I couldn't believe he had said that to me. I didn't realize that my misery was so obvious. At first I didn't answer but suddenly I found myself telling the story of my marriage and my lassitude and the boredom and the pain of everything drying up around me. We talked for hours. It was almost dawn by the time I finished.
I hadn't realized how much I'd been holding everything in. It had gotten to where Frank was the only person I really confided in. I felt alienated from everyone-all my old friends, all the people who might become new friends. And Frank, with his hard cynicism and realism, was not the person to spill my guts to.
So much lifted as I talked to Dave and he understood. He put his hand on my arm and stroked it gently. I felt a great peace come over me. Soon the peace was replaced with a little gnawing need somewhere in my belly. He kept touching my arm and the need grew. I wanted to fuck with him.
Dave began to run his hand lightly over my tits. My nipples contracted into tough little knots of pleasure under his light caress. I turned to look at him.
"I wanted to fuck with you the first time I laid eyes on yoa. And I knew you must have wanted to also. Now I know why you're sending out such strong signals. You're in the wrong place, Carol."
His acknowledgement of the attraction between us was all it took to make me accept him completely. You have no idea what an oasis he was to me. A sensitive man, an intuitive person in this desert of decay all around me.
I turned my body to face him. His light caress over my tits turned into a firm kneading motion that made me want to fuse with him. I kissed him and he took my kiss over until we were fucking with our mouths. We rose to our knees and ground our bodies into each other.
When that kiss ended, after what seemed like hours of penetration and exploration, both of us were panting. Only one thought occupied us. We needed to strip off the few layers of cloth that separated us and make our communion complete. I could feel his cock swollen hard and long, straining against the zipper in his cutoffs. I opened my legs so that it rubbed against the groove of my cunt. I pressed my tits hard against his chest and whispered in his ear that we should slip into my apartment and fuck on the couch.
We probably could have fucked right there on the porch. Nobody was up in the complex but soon they would be and the cold, unyielding cement was no foundation for our first fuck.
We slipped noiselessly into the apartment, taking special care that the squeaky screen door closed silently. All I could hear was our breathing and the soft sounds of our feet pressing into the carpet with each step.
The couch was loaded with pillows and comforters. I pulled them down to the floor and he pulled me down on top of the comforters.
I could almost hear an electric current snapping between us. My whole body felt as though it were awakening after a long, unpleasant sleep. No one had aroused me like this since the early days of my marriage with Carol. There's fucking and there's fucking. This was like meta-fucking and I knew as it was happening that it would be unlike any sexual experience I'd had.
He started pumping into me right away, humping me through the confines of his cutoffs. It was sweet torture. I wanted to tear his clothes off his body and feel him slicing into my pussy. But I couldn't bear for the humping to stop long enough to undress.
We were like two animals ravishing each other. He tore my negligee right down the front so that the two pieces of it fell on either side of me. Then he cupped my tits in his hands and sucked them furiously. He made so much noise, slurping and growling that I was afraid he would wake Carl but I was powerless to stop him.
By the time he finished sucking my tits I had had an orgasm. I know that sounds incredible, but you have no idea how aroused I was and how good he was at sucking tits. I quit straddling up towards him. I fell back and looked up at him while he tore his jeans off his body.
His cock sprung up strongly as he released it from its confined space. It looked like an object of worship to me, a towering red obelisk that I knew my cunt would massage like it had never worked before. I couldn't wait to feel it plunging into my depths.
He didn't want to wait either. He took his cock in his hand and slowly lowered himself into me. I held my pussy lips apart with my ringers so there would be no obstruction between his cock and our pleasure.
The second his cock head penetrated my cunt lips my body began to tremble as I moaned in the heat and darkness. Immediately he slipped all the way into my channel of hot, aching love. I threw my hips up at him in a rhythmic offering of my deepest charms.
And he dived into me again and again in the deepest, most satisfying penetration I have ever experienced. Our mouths met and sucked into one another. They kept tearing apart as he lifted himself for another pounding and another but they always sought each other again.
We fucked and fucked. I lost count of the number of times I was rocked and overcome with orgasms that seemed to build upon each other. His cock seemed to get bigger, harder and longer as we went on.
It seemed to me that I was screaming at the top of my lungs and I remember worrying that this was sure to wake Carl, even if nothing else had. But I guess I was quieter than I thought because he never stirred.
Finally Dave couldn't hold out any longer. His body signalled his orgasm from every pore. I could practically smell it coming on. He began to moan in a different way and his arms clutched me rigidly. I could feel it boiling up deep in his loins.
The sensation of his orgasm building was so intense and pleasurable that I felt another one coming up on me to match it. When he finally shot his wad and pressed into me for the final thrusts I met it with my own inner explosion. It was the best yet because it left both of us totally helpless.
"Heavens, that was cosmic. Carol, Carol, Carol. Your body is a world, a new world and I'm going to explore every corner of it."
All I could do was hug him with all my force. I felt exactly the same. Already I was counting off the days of his visit, planning each night we would spend together.
At that time I didn't dare imagine that I would follow him. I couldn't let it got that far. Up until that moment I had merely been trying to see to the end of each day, to the hour when I could finally be alone with my thoughts, the only sane thing in my life, to spend a quite interlude under the stars in the sweet-smelling air of the courtyard. Suddenly there was a world in this man's body and his mind.
We caressed each other endlessly, going back over details we had rushed past in our haste to reach the center of our relatedness. We explored the contours of each other's flesh, feeling that each caress was also touching deep into the secrets of our minds. His touch seemed to run through me like x-rays.
Slowly the dawn began to break. The room lightened so gradually. It was like gray veils being drawn away slowly, to reveal the purplish light and the cleanness of the dawn. The sweat and secretions of the night seemed to evaporate in the growing light and the breeze that stirred. I felt purified and simple through and through for the first time in months.
We had to separate. I had to go back to my bed with Carl and he had to go back to Frank's apartment. Pulling apart was torture. I would have been perfectly content to stay in his aims for the next twelve hours.
I went back to bed with Carl and his body felt like some dead substance next to me. I knew we would never again have the kind of sexual celebration I had just experienced with Dave. It made me sad for Carl and me but nothing could mar my happiness. I was high on Dave.
We met again each night of his visit. With Dave I discovered the true meaning of cunnilingus. He loves pussy. No one ever ate me out like Dave. I never sucked anyone off like I sucked Dave.
Our sessions got longer and longer. I was urging Carl to bed earlier and earlier, often by seducing him to get him there. That was rough. That was the worst part, fucking with him so I could fuck with Dave.
Eventually my hours got all turned around so that night was day and day was night. I told Carl I had some kind of summer flu when he wondered why I was sleeping so much.
Dave and Carl even became friends, if you can imagine. Dave is such a beautiful man, such a large soul, that no one could fail to love him. After ten days or so the hypocrisy began to torture me.
I finally had to tell Carl what was going on. He was miserably depressed for several days but he wasn't surprised. He knew I couldn't go on as I had been for months.
Dave extended his visit another week and it was like an extension of life to have those next seven days with him.
Meanwhile, when I could and did work on my jewelry, I realized there was a whole new dimension to it that had been missing before. Don't ever listen to anyone who tells you that an artist needs misery and suffering to create. I had never been happier and my work had never been harder, cleaner, finer.
All that was beautiful, but things with Carl reached on all-time low. He still couldn't hate Dave. He had to love him, in fact, but he was getting more sad more depressed, more pleading, more dependent. I couldn't stand it.
Dave left two weeks ago. Before he left, he told me he wanted me to come with him. I just couldn't do it. Not then. But now it's all I think about. I have exhausted all the possibilities that are open to me here. And Carl and me, well, that's finished. He's become so humble, to pleading, so needy, I've lost my respect for him. He can never be a husband to me again. I want to leave in two weeks for LA. Dave has a lot of friends who have galleries. He was once an artist, you know. His friends can show my work in their galleries. I won't sell it there, but I'll exhibit it and take orders. I can get three times the money there I can't get here for the same work, the same pieces.
And Dave is my muse. With him I can't create in a new way.
I want to leave in two weeks. Then at Christmas Carl is going to drive out there with our son. By that time I should have my own apartment. Yes, I want my own place, my own life. I've had domesticity up to my ears. As much as I love Dave, I know that if I tried the same fucked-up way of life with him, it would turn out to be just as miserable. It's time for me to live for myself.
Yes, I could leave in two weeks and Carl could come out to visit at Christmas and bring me my car and Jason. Then, of course, he has to come back to school.
He's trying to get a fellowship to study in Russia this spring. Can you believe it, he wanted me to go there with him. Me! The only problem is Carl. That's why I'm here. I'm worried about him. I can't get him to come in for counseling. Do you think I'm crazy, or is he?
CONCLUSION
It's really a shame that so many people spend their whole lives making up for mistakes made while they were young. When we are young we think we know the answers, that we know ourselves, but in truth, we are fools battered about by our emotions. Most people do not even realize their mistakes until it is much too late, until they are tied down by middle age aid responsibility.
It is obvious to me that Carol must leave her husband. I am glad to see that she does not want to make the same mistake with Dave, that in spite of his attractiveness to her, she wants to retain her independence.
Carol is a strong woman, who will survive and who will excel. The problem that she has with Carl is a serious one, though. Obviously, she cares for the father of her child and is worried about him.
However, one cannot live one's life for the happiness of others. This world is full of traps and it is inevitable that each individual will fall into one or more of them. The problem is in recognizing the traps first of all and then of breaking free of them.
I am not indicating that a person should be wholly selfish, but I do think that where important things are concerned that they should follow their own heart and not the guilty responses of other human beings around them.
It will probably take her husband a very long time to adjust to Carol's departure from his life. He will be hurt very deeply, but I do not think that he will die from love. He is not a mentally deranged person and he will recover.
After all, if he truly loves his wife, he would not want her to remain with him if it means her unhappiness.
CASE HISTORY FIVE
Subject: Marty V. Age: Forty
INTERVIEW ONE
Marty was employed as a camera salesman at a small department store. He had been there for years and was quite good at his business.
He seemed quite distressed and anxious to get to the root of his problem, so without further ado I turned on the machine and he began to talk. He's a rather handsome man, tall and slender with silver hair.
As I said, Doctor, I have been selling cameras in this one store for many years. Some people might think that I'm not very ambitious or motivated and I guess they would be right. But I never had any other desire than to be happy in my life, to enjoy the simple things. I've never needed luxury. Oh, things were a little bit different when I was married. My wife pushed me, wanted me to make something of my life and of her life, but it just wasn't in me. So she left me for some guy who was a company man, pushing his way up to a big title and a big salary.
I enjoy taking pictures. That's my only hobby, my only vice and my only luxury. Camera equipment is terribly expensive, you know. On weekends, I usually go to the country and take pictures. I like doing nature shots, you see, although sometimes I do portraits and things, but mainly I like nature things.
Well, anyway, that's of no consequence here. This one particular weekend I was out in the country. It was early spring and the day was perfect for cameras and cameramen.
I was all alone out in this canyon, feeling very good when these two little girls came out from the ravine. They were both beautiful children, perhaps thirteen or so, but one of them was particularly beautiful.
She was all golden and-pale like a Renaissance painting or something. They were surprised to see me there, but not intimidated and so they went on with their playing and exploring.
I struck up a conversation with them and asked them if I could take their pictures. They giggled and agreed and I shot about three rolls of film on them.
When I got home, I went straight to developing the film and made some rather large prints of the girls. That one girl-she was exquisite.
I thought about her a lot the rest of the week. I thought that I would like to go back and find her and take some more pictures of her. So I did that. I went back to the same area. I hung around for a long time, taking pictures of trees and rocks and birds and early flowers but I was disappointed that she had not showed up.
Just as the day grew old, and I was about to give up, I heard a rustle in the bushes and turned around. There she was standing on the path, alone this time.
I was terribly glad to see her and I told her that I had hoped she would come back because I wanted to take more pictures. She was pleased by that. So I began to shoot her.
Ah, she was so pretty, so young. I felt increasingly sexual about her as I moved in for close-ups, or arranged her body into poses. My cock got rock-hard in my pants. I thought about taking her then and there.
Throwing her body on the path and raping her, but I knew that I would never do that. It did occur to me to try and seduce her, that was more than just a fantasy. I knew it was wrong for a man my age to make love to a girl her age, but I was so enchanted by her youth and her beauty.
I used every opportunity to touch her body, allowing my hand to brush against her young tits, or her sweet thighs. She always smiled sweetly, not knowing what I was doing.
After I had taken some more pictures, I sat down next to her and we talked. Her name was Wendy. She was thirteen. She lived nearby, things like that. I think that she liked me very much, perhaps even had some kind of crush on me since I was paying so much attention to her.
Well, before I knew what I was doing, I had embraced her, had pulled the child into my arms and I was kissing her mouth. It was no paternal kiss, either. It was full of passion and lust.
She tried to pull away at first, surprised by what I was doing. But soon she acquiesced and let me lick out her mouth, fill her mouth with my tongue.
My cock was hard as can be in my pants, aching for her young body. I began to fondle her young tits and she sighed heavily, allowing me to touch her. I put my hand underneath her sweater and touched her skin. It was wonderful.
I touched her nipples and they were small and hard. I clutched her skin, wanting her so very much. My balls were itching for her.
I touched her body all over, kissing her mouth and tonguing her body. I sort of thought that this was all that was going to happen, that I was not going to take the girl by force or anything but much to my surprise, Wendy began to put her hand in my crotch, to move it up and down over my cock.
We were sitting on a rock and her hand was rubbing my crotch while my hand rubbed her tits. Her little hand was down in my pants now and she was fumbling for my dick.
I couldn't believe what was happening but I certainly had every intention of enjoying it. I helped her a little bit. I opened my pants and pulled my cock out. It was big and hard and she stared at it, then she touched it. She wrapped her little hand around it and stroked it.
Wendy rubbed my dick and looked at it, fascinated by its hardness and its throbbing veins. I thought that maybe I could get her to suck me off.
I asked her if she had ever seen a man's cock before and she said that she had seen her brother's once. I figured that the girl was a virgin and I decided that I would not fuck her right then, but I needed relief for my throbbing organ.
I asked Wendy if she would like to taste my cock and she was all smiles and trusting looks. She was curious and I explained to her about cock-sucking. I told her to get on her knees in front of my crotch and take the head of my cock into her mouth.
She did that and opened her mouth and I slid my cock between her lips. That was a novel event for her, for sure, but she was determined to do her best. I could feel her lips and tongue working away and my groin was on fire with lust.
It took a lot of restraint not to throw her on the ground and stuff her cunt full of my cock and fuck her until I came. Her blonde head bobbed up and down on my cock and that sight was enough to get any man off. She licked the head and she nibbled the head. Sometimes I felt her teeth grazing the shaft and it hurt a little bit, but I figured that if she could stand having her young mouth full of cock then I could stand the pressure of her teeth once in a while. I didn't complain, quite the contrary, I was in some kind of middle-aged heaven being sucked off by a real beauty of a thirteen-year-old and I let my mind drift with my cock.
I started to fuck her mouth, forcing her to swallow more and more of the thick shaft. She gagged, but she didn't try to pull away. She sucked better every minute and took more and more of my rigid tool. I was raving with lust.
My toes were curling in my boots and I held onto her blonde head for support, pushing her head gently into my thrusting groin My cock throbbed in her mouth, the veins pulsating and the balls anxious to empty themselves.
She grabbed those balls and squeezed them. It was a little too hard and I took her hands away. She returned to sucking with gusto and I was carried away by the great feeling that she was giving my body.
I shoved my dick into her mouth again and again, feeling the heat of my body growing intensely. My orgasm built slowly and solidly and whipped through my groin. I fell into a rhythm of lust and pushed my cock too far down her throat.
She hung on and took my pounding until I was finished with my orgasm.
Then I pulled away from her and kissed her again. She sat on the rock looking at me very sweetly. I wanted to do something for her, wanted to make her come, too.
I pushed Wendy back against the mossy rock and went for her pants. She made a little sound of protest, but I ignored her. I unfastened her jeans and pulled them off her.
I exposed to my eyes the most delightful young cunt. It was completely hairless and the slit was totally exposed. I started to get another erection just looking at the thing.
My mouth watered as I went down between her soft thighs. I fondled her cunt with my fingers. I worked my finger into her pussy and found that she was a virgin. That was terribly exciting in itself. I thought that another time I might take her maidenhead, something that I had never had the opportunity to do.
Her little cunny was wet, can you believe it? She was excited by what she had done to me and by what I was now doing to her with my fingers.
I touched her clitoris and rubbed it gently. It made her squirm with delight. I played with her cunt lips exploring all of the pink and beautiful flesh there.
I really wanted to eat her out and I think that she wanted it, too. I shoved my tongue into her cunt. It was a tight cunt, but very juicy. I took-a long time, licking her out. I paid a lot of attention to her clitty and every time I did that she squirmed like the dickens. My tongue flicked back and forth across the little nubbin and my face was getting slimy from her cunt juices.
There was good light there and I thought it would be nice to take a picture of that little cunt, but then I decided it would be much better to enjoy it. Her clitoris was now red and hard.
I went to work in earnest on that young cunt. She was so aroused already, I stuffed her vagina full of my wriggling tongue and she nearly fell off the rock.
Her little hands held my head firmly in place, as if she was afraid that I would stop, that I would leave her in that state of unsatisfied desire.
My nose and my chin and my mouth were in and out of her pussy and the smell of her was delicious. I ate ravenously, losing my mind to her cunt. My tongue licked up and down her cunt lips, leaving not one tiny place of her crotch untouched by my moist affection.
I blew air up into her vaginal cunt and she yelped. Her juices were flowing and I was lapping them up. I licked her cunt out and she squirmed. I held onto her soft thighs and pushed my head up her cunt.
The girl started to come. Her orgasm was actually frightening-it was so intense and so long. I licked furiously. I sucked her cunt lips. I nibbled her clitoris.
Her legs and arms flailed and she yelled and moaned and finally she lay still with me still lapping her cunt juices.
I lay down beside her and fondled her tits and her body. I looked into her face and decided that I would take some pictures of her, all languid and satisfied like that.
It got me so turned on and all and she began to talk to me. She said that she knew that what we had just done was not really the way it was supposed to be. She said she knew that the man was supposed to put his cock inside the lady's thing and how come I had not done it that way. I explained to her that because she was a virgin I didn't think it was right, but that there were lots of other ways that a man and a woman could enjoy each other's bodies.
She wanted to know all about sex and so I told her everything that I could think of. She was fascinated and as I talked she played with my dick.
She wanted to examine it closely and so I pulled my pants down again and she looked at it and looked at my balls, holding them in her hand and making little comments.
The afternoon had gone and it was getting dark. She said that she had to go home, but she would be there next week. I took it as it was intended. An invitation.
I asked Marty to return the following week and tell me more of this story. As it was, I would have liked to listen to the rest of what he had to say, but I had other clients waiting outside.
He promised that he would return and left the office.
INTERVIEW TWO
Marty returned to me and without any further conversation began his story again.
Well, needless to say, that next meeting was about all I could think about all week. And as I drove up to the country, I was full of anticipation. My cock was hard through the whole drive.
I parked my car and started off to our meeting place. When I got there I found Wendy had already arrived. We embraced and kissed and I felt like I was about sixteen years old.
We lay down on the moist grass together and my hands were all over her body. I rubbed her young tits, pulling her sweater up to look at them and touch the nipples.
I craved her. I craved sex with her. I knew that I was going to fuck her, that I was going to have my cock inside of her body.
The girl's hands were not idle either. Oh, no, she was feeling me all over, going for my crotch, trying to fondle my cock through the material.
I moved my hands over her and she responded, beautifully. She moved her hand down to my crotch and rubbed the area. She slid her hand inside of my pants and the touch was electric. I wanted to fuck her right then and there and I wanted to have my hearty tool plowing her field of warm cunt.
We kissed and we kissed and we kissed some more. My tongue explored all of her mouth. I tasted her sweet, youthful gums, her teeth. I thought about those teeth grazing my cock the week before and I kissed them.
I sucked her lips into my mouth. I pushed my body against hers. I could feel the burning of my lust for her building into a bonfire. The blood was boiling in my cock and I was aroused beyond belief. The girl herself was wriggling under me, pushing her cunt against my thigh, aching for a cock.
I lay on top of her. We were clothed but my pants were unzipped and my hand was inside of her sweater. I rubbed my hard dick against her crotch. My cock lengthened and hardened. I rubbed her thigh with my cock, letting her feel the length and hardness of it.
She panted. She heaved. She sighed. I rubbed my cock hard against her flesh. She thrust her cunt up at me. I touched her wherever I could. I clutched her young tits.
I pinched her nipples and she moaned. I wanted to fuck her more than I wanted to live.
I wanted her naked. Her eyes were blind with lust, with young lust. I pulled off her sweater and played with her small tits. I ran my palms over them and she squirmed on the ground, saying crazy little things. Her hand rubbed my crotch. She was terribly sensual. She was craving a man, craving a cock.
I began to suck her tits. I worked my mouth over her nipples and I sucked them with my lips. My cock throbbed for her. It wanted to be inside of her. I grabbed her clothed cunt and squeezed it. I rubbed her cunt and she rubbed my cock. She whimpered and thrust her body up at me.
I sucked her nipples hard and pushed my hand against her snatch. I rubbed her cunt and I sucked her tits and then I took off my shirt. We rubbed our chests together. Her skin was like satin. I pulled her ass up to me, held her like she was a doll.
I started to take off her jeans. I took off her underwear, exposing once again that beautiful, hairless twat. I took off my pants and we were both naked out in the wilderness, just like children, like innocent children.
I rubbed her naked cunt. I fingered her body. My cock stuck out rigid and red and she watched it twitching.
She reached for it. She fondled it. She stroked the shaft. She held tightly to my cock. I wanted her soon. Very soon. I touched her cunt more and more, seeking and finding the entrance of her undisturbed womb.
She jerked off my cock with real interest. I touched her tits again. She wanted to lie down again. She wanted my cock inside of her body.
I pushed her down and lay on top of her. She breathed heavily and pushed her naked cunt against my hard cock. I humped her dry. My prick pulsated for the feel of her.
She was fascinated by my cock. She loved to touch it, to fondle my balls. I think that she would have done it for hours. I found her clit and I rubbed it. She closed her eyes and gasped and whimpered. I rubbed her clitty hard. I worked my fingers over her box, faster and faster, lathering up her female juices.
I mounted her. I positioned my cock at the entrance to her cunt. I cautioned myself. I started to push in. I pushed in slowly, gaining inch by inch and she held very still. I pushed in further, further. She cried out in pain and I slammed all the way into her.
I began to work in and out of her and she held still. I hoped that she was not in pain, but she was very still, waiting, waiting. For what? Suddenly, she began to thrust her cunt up at me again.
It felt wonderful, that tight, hot little cunt. I had never felt anything like that in my whole life. She was a joy, a delight. My cock was insane with lust.
She was aroused now. She heaved her sweet cunt up. I worked in and out, in and out. She moved faster underneath me. I felt like a king. I fucked her faster and faster.
We trembled together and worked in a frenzy of fucking. I could hardly breathe for my lust. My body coursed with life and blood and sex. She fucked me back. She humped her body up.
Her young body wriggled about underneath me. I slammed into her freely now.
She moaned and we fucked. I humped her with every bit of strength of my body. My cock slid in and out. The sensation was better than anything I could remember. I gripped her small, tight ass. I held her cunt up to the ravages of my dick and pumped her full of cock meat.
She was like a snake in my hands, a snake in the grass. She rolled her head from side to side and hung onto me for dear life. I humped her hard, fast. She thrust up at me. For a virgin, she was the most erotic thing imaginable. Never had I met such a sensual woman.
We fucked out of control now. My cock threaded in and out of her body, knowing nothing else but the rhythm of sex, the ache towards satisfaction.
The girl started to come. She went wild underneath me. She screamed and scratched my back. She took in more and more of my cock. The rhythm became hers-the rhythm of her youthful orgasm.
The sight of her in ecstasy was the last straw. My cock throbbed and I shot her full of my seed. I blasted her cunt out with my fuck sauce and crammed her full of hard meat.
When we finally lay still, I realized that I had never felt so good in my whole life, or maybe it was the fact that every other experience in my life seemed pale compared to her-this wild fuck with a thirteen-year-old in the woods.
What else is there to say about Wendy? Only that I've returned to her week after week and that now my life seems very dry compared with the fucking and sucking that we do on the weekend, on Saturdays.
I feel lost without her, a non-being during the week. I need her body. If for some reason she stopped meeting me there on those Saturdays I think that I shall fade away into nothing.
CONCLUSION
I think that Marty's problem is that he is an escapist. His lack of ambition or rather his fear of competing is merely his fear of having to grow up.
The only thing that is surprising about his relationship with the young girl, Wendy, is that it did not happen sooner. It is totally an escapist, sexual relationship. The girl makes no demands on him, beside those intimate ones on those special Saturdays. She does not ask him to be anything but as innocent and carefree as she is. He goes to her, goes away from the discontent of civilization out in the middle of the woods and finds her there, in his special world. A fantasy world.
There is nothing wrong with escapism. It is a necessary mechanism to the human being. But I think that Marty has allowed the real world to fade away from him and has totally rejected all life beyond the experience he has with Wendy.
This is very, very dangerous. Marty is fast losing touch with the reality of survival.
I recommended for him some long overdue therapy. I said that although the lawmakers would not condone his affair with Wendy at all, nor I imagine would her parents, in the right context it could be acceptable.
This context is one that he is incapable of at this point. I told him that if he didn't regain some reality, he would be in a lot of trouble very soon.
He said that he realized that now and that he was willing to try and break off with his fantasy come true.
This was made rather easy for him. One Saturday, he went to the woods and his Wendy was not there. She was not there the following Saturday, nor the Saturday after that.
It was apparent to him that he would not see her again. There was a terrible gap left in Marty, something that he would have to learn to deal with.
I am happy to report that he is accomplishing this.
CASE HISTORY FIVE
Subject: Lita M. Age: Nineteen
INTERVIEW ONE
In this particular case, I decided to interview a prostitute. The subject of prostitution and its role in society is something that had never been fuly explored in all its ramifications.
I feel that it is an important and vital study in light of the recent so-called liberation of sexual attitudes.
If the liberation were truly what people make it out to be, then it would stand to reason that the need for prostitutes would no longer be present.
But we know that such is not the case at all.
Prostitutes are still making a big business. They are still practicing in all the major cities, and are doing a thriving trade as far as I can see.
Therefore, it must be other than a purely sexual reason, that men go to them. What these reasons are remains still to be fully explained.
I have no information at this time as to why men go to hookers or what the unique appeal of these women is. I am sure that when the study is made, it would make very interesting and informative reading.
Here, then, is the transcript of her tape.
Now look here, Doc. I want to get something squared away with you right from the very start. I'm not ashamed of anything I've done, or anything I'm going to do in the near future.
Sure, I'm a hooker, and I'm not saying that's anything to be proud about, either. But let's face it. There are a lot of worse ways to make a living, right?
Now, about these questions that you asked me. What's it, exactly, that you want me to tell you about-the times, the times I suck them off, or the times they suck me?
Don't bother to answer, Doc. Hell, I got plenty of things to tell you. Dozens of them, enough to fill a book, I'm sure!
I've been a whore for years. I have probably seen more things than your mind could ever imagine. I'm not a beginner and I'm every bit proud of it.
I guess you want me to start from the beginning; that is, if I can remember back that far. Let me see-well, I'm not sure if this is the first time, but it's at least the most vivid of the beginnings.
It was at a convention. That is, the guys were at this convention. I was just brought in to entertain after hours. It was really sort of an acting entertaining, pleasing job. I really was very excited.
I had gotten this job through a friend of mine, a girl named Cindy, and if I must say so myself, she is one of my favorite people. You know, a friend these days is hard to come by. Anyway, there were four of them.
Real big shot types, from the East Coast. Don't ask me how I got saddled with all four of them at once.
Beginner's luck, I guess. Anyhow, the next thing I knew I was up there in that motel room, going into my act. Needless to say, the guys had a couple of fifths stashed away, in their jacket pockets.
We weren't in the room five minutes, but the ice came out and the paper cups, and the
Scotch, and the rye, and the gin. They had everything.
Anyway, we all started having drink after drink, and before we knew it, we were all bombed. Each and everyone of us. Hell, we'd been hitting the bottles for at least three hours.
By that time, the guys got the bright idea to have a game of Circle Jerk. And of course, you can guess who was in the middle. Yes, me.
Do you know that game, Doc? Well, the guys whip out their cocks and stand around in a circle, jerking themselves off.
The one who comes first wins. Only this time, there was a new little twist to the game. The one who came first, or got ready to come first, was allowed to shoot it into my hungry mouth.
What the hell, I figured. I'd sucked plenty of guys off. Why the hell should I give a damn really? First, they wanted me to take off my clothes. I went into the bathroom to put a sexy see-through nightgown on, but by the time I came out they started ripping it off me. I got a little frightened, but then I really began getting turned on.
Then I decided to go back into the bathroom and put all my clothes on. When I came out the second time, I went into one of my sexiest strip routines. You know, taking off each piece, slow and sexy like, turning all the guys on while I get myself naked.
I turned them on all right, good and proper. The next thing I knew, I was bare as the day I was born and there were four big hard-ons staring right at me.
They were really drunk, I guess, and they needed a little inspiration, a little more than usual, that is. So, I really gave it to them.
I got down in the middle of the rug and started opening and closing my pussy lips, sliding my finger in and out of myself until those guys were ready to crawl the walls.
"I'm ready," one of them called. "I'm getting ready to come."
That was my cue.
I got onto my hands and knees, crawled over to the window and took him into my yearning mouth.
Let me tell you, he wasn't kidding about being ready to come. His tool was hot as hell, throbbing and jerking around between my lips like any second it was going to happen.
I know how to give a guy a good blow-job. It's my business. I took his nuts in my hand, and started to jiggle them around, real nice and easy like, while I ran my lips up and down his rod at the same time.
I could feel the little crack at the tip of his tool starting to drip. I slid my tongue around the head of his large cock and started sucking as if I were at my mother's breast.
That's all it took. He started to come like an explosion. The taste was hot and sweet, and I had to swallow it fast because it was really coming and coming. I love the way it feels when it's going down my throat.
"Okay, now it's my turn," one of the other guys yelled.
There I was again, crawling across the rug with my mouth open, and the taste of the first guy's stuff still running down my throat.
This guy wasn't so willing to let me do all the work. He grabbed me by the sides of the head and pulled my mouth way down over his prick.
He was forcing his dong all the way down my throat. I could feel the strength of his hand on the back of my neck.
I wouldn't have minded so damned much, except for the fact that he was hung like a stud horse. I nearly choked to death on all that meat.
Still a girl's got to do her job, and I was being paid plenty to satisfy this foursome.
Down I went again on that monster shaft, taking it all the way in and sucking away on it like it was the last one left in the world.
"Lick my balls," the guy rasped, shivering all over with excitement.
"Sure, honey," I told him, and did what he asked.
That's all I had to do. The next thing I knew, he was shooting his load all over my face and into my hair. The stuff was hitting me in the forehead and dripping down over my cheeks.
And still he wouldn't let me alone.
"Put your mouth on me," he said, while he was still coming, good and strong.
like any other business, the customer is always right. If that's what he wanted, that's what he had to get.
I mouthed him and took the rest of his load down into my belly. I thought he was never going to stop shooting. But no guy can cream forever, thank heaven.
No sooner had this second one gotten his rocks off, but the third one came to life.
"Hey, let's eat her!" he suggested.
The next thing I knew, I was flat on my back with my legs spread wide open, and guy number three was tonguing away at my swelling pussy.
Now this, I got to admit, wasn't bad. I mean, guy number three really knew what he was doing. He lapped away at my pussy lips and chewed on my clit until I was thrashing around on that bed, whimpering like some love-struck kid.
"Come on, sweetheart, suck my cock while I eat you," he said all of a sudden, and turned himself around so his prick was sticking out only a couple of inches from my face. I reached out, grabbed his dick in my hands, and pulled it into my mouth.
By then, I was so turned on I was glad for a little more of a good thing.
We came together, I in his mouth and he in mine. It was a great session.
Then guy number four., the nutty one, got this brainstorm.
"Hey you guys," he called out. "Ever drink a cocktail out of a broad's twat?"
The other guys and myself didn't have the slightest idea what he was talking about. We learned fast.
He pulled a bottle of wine out of a drawer, uncorked it and brought it over to the bed.
"Open your cunt, sister," he said. "Use your hands and pull that hole wide apart."
What the hell, I figured. Maybe, this guy can teach me some new tricks. So I did like he said.
I grabbed my pussy lips and opened my box as wide as it would go, exposing my all.
The fourth guy shoved the neck of the wine bottle up inside of me and started to pour the stuff inside my burning pussy.
"Hey, that feels funny," I said, starting to get a little scared.
"If you think that's something, wait till you feel this," he said.-
And with that, he started lapping the wine out of my cunt with his tongue.
It was insane. Every time he lapped me dry, he'd fill my hole up with that wine again, and when it poured down my shapely thighs, he licked there too.
The other guys kind of went for that idea, and the next thing I knew, everyone was taking turns filling up my hole with booze and then licking the stuff out.
Too much of a good thing is no good either, you know. After awhile, with that cold liquid flowing around my cunt, I started to feel uncomfortable.
"How about a different game, fellas?" I asked, trying not to let my discomfort come through in the tone of my voice.
"No, I'm still getting my kicks out of this one," the fourth guy said.
"Hey, I got an idea," one of the other guys piped up. "What do you say we dip our cocks in the booze and let her suck us off again?"
The last suggestion went over big. And the next thing I knew, I was mixing scotch with gin, and heaven only knows what else, and lapping the stuff off four different cocks.
It was a hell of a way to tie one on.
Well, I guess I don't have to tell you those fellows really got good and excited. Before I knew it, all of them were naked, and I was being forced back onto the bed again, and the four of them were crawling all over me.
I wound up with one cock in my mouth, one in each hand, and the last one shoved right up there in between my legs.
Then they started changing positions, moving around so that each of them had a chance to get blown, jerked off, and laid.
It was the weirdest thing. After awhile, I began to taste my own pussy juice on the cocks. I mean, once the guy had come inside my twat, he moved his dick up into my mouth, while the next guy took his place between my legs.
Gosh, it must have been dawn before the five of us collapsed from sheer exhaustion. In one big tangled lump on that bed.
You'd think they would have had enough, right? Well, you're wrong.
No sooner did we catch a couple of hours sleep when that fourth guy, the one who had gotten the idea of pouring the wine up my cunt, woke up again and decided that the best cure for a hangover is a little hair of the dog that bit you.
There I was again, legs way open, and some guy licking the booze out of my hole.
You know how it is with guys. Once they get started, they just got to keep going till they can't move any more, and there were four of them.
You can imagine how I felt when they finally called it quits and let me out of that room.
I could hardly walk. My pussy was so sore and felt so funny from that booze that had been inside of it, I started to worry if I wasn't going to get sick or something.
As it turned out, I really had nothing to worry about. When I got home, I fell into the bed and slept for ten hours straight.
By the time I woke up, everything was all right and I felt just fine again.
I'd had a wrong night, all right, but I sure did develop a liking to have-my pussy sucked.
And now, if some guys come to me with a yen to lap me a little, I welcome him. After all, who says that being a whore has to be all that bad?
Some guys, though, don't want to eat out a hooker's pussy. They figure that so many cocks been in my twat that I must be filthy dirty or something.
In a way, they're right. I get to take on every type of guy in the world.
Dirty ones, clean ones, old ones, young ones, all of them. Some of them are pretty dirty, but for the most part they're pretty clean.
The real losers, I don't take on. I let some old hooker take them. Those are the only ones that will take on the real losers.
I can pretty much get to have my pick of who I really want.
INTERVIEW TWO
Lita came into my office with a big smile on her face. She began talking about how she was still young and pretty, and now is the time to turn as many tricks as she could.
Once a hooker gets old, she better have a lot of money in a bank, because her swinging days are over. She either opens a house, or calls it quits and returns to Scarsdale.
You'd be surprised how many retired hookers live in Scarsdale and suburban places like that, right next door to so-called decent people who never have a dirty thought in their minds.
Now, ain't that a gas!
I bet some of-them live next door to some of their former Johns. I know this one hooker was being kept by a guy and he had exclusive rights over her. She saved all the money he used to give her through the years, and finally she moved in next door to him and his family.
Hooking can be a real treat, though, sometimes. Especially when you get a guy that really knows how to suck cunt and really-likes it.
Some people really get into sucking cunt. Those are my favorite ones.
They're the guys that just love pussy. They love to chew on it and run their faces in it, lick it and slurp up all the juices.
I had a guy like that one time. He wanted to keep me all night, just so that he could eat me out for hours and hours.
I got so turned on my him that I charged him half of what I would usually charge. He was definitely the best cunt-lapper I ever ran across.
I was gone for this cat, and there was nothing that I wouldn't do for him when he asked me.
He told me to get down on all fours, doggy style. I thought that he was going to fuck me from behind, but it turned out that he wanted to eat me from behind.
He laid his mouth right at the opening of my cunt lips from the rear and just started chewing and lapping like a son of a bitch.
He spread my cunt lips wide and far apart, making the pink and tender meat show up for him, and blowing air all the way up my snatch.
I was so turned on that my eyes were closing and my breath was getting hard hissing through my teeth.
It was one hell of a ride.
I gave him all the cunt that he wanted and he took more and more of it.
That was definitely the best trip that I ever took. He also ate out my ass at the same time, rubbing his mouth from the cunt hole all the way to the ass and back.
There was something that was so wild about that guy that I just could not get enough of him.
He was wild and horny and hungry for cunt as any man that I'd ever seen. He chewed and fought into me with all the pleasure and delight that he could muster.
There was one man that knew what he wanted and knew how to give it, too.
I knew that I had latched onto a winner that time, and I was going to make very sure that I didn't lose him as a customer.
It's very rare that a hooker will get turned on to some guy and want to keep him as a steady thing for no pay.
I mean, a girl has to watch out for her own pleasure every once in awhile, too, you know.
Oh, let me tell you about the time I had this John who was into a weird trip. We were in my bedroom and he ordered me to get down on my knees.
I fell to my knees and waited before him for his next order.
"You are a beautiful girl, my dear," he said in a softer tone of voice. "But beautiful girls are evil, and they must be disciplined sharply."
"I am going to teach you that you must never try to deceive men, is that clear?"
"Yes sir," I whimpered, hardly able to breathe for the hurricane of strange emotions whipping through my body.
"Come with me."
He turned and left the room, without so much as one backward glance in my direction.
I followed after him, barefooted, wondering what he was going to do with me, frightened, and yet exhilarated as never before.
I seemed to know, seemed to sense that at last the mystery was about to be discovered.
"Take off your clothes," he said.
"But-"
His smile silenced me. "You are going to belong to me now, truly," he said. "Tonight I am going to make you mine, as though you were my own daughter. If you behave and do as I tell you, exactly as I tell you, I shall keep you with me always. Would you like that, my dear?"
By this time, I thought I should tell him anything he wanted to hear, so I answered, "Oh, yes!"
"Very well, take your clothes off, my dear."
Trembling with eagerness, I made myself completely naked.
"Beautiful my dear, quite beautiful." His voice was noticeably thick with arousal.
He reached down for the front of his pants and I became aware of the large lump there bulging out against the material.
In another moment, he had unzipped his pants and lifted his swelling cock into sight.
Stiff and swollen, it stood out straight from his body, thick and hard and very red at its tip.
"Suck," he demanded. "Take it into your mouth."
It was as though someone had triggered a madness within me. There was no fear, no hesitation.
I reached forward, took his prick into my fist and started moving. I took my slender, trembling fingers and wrapped my lips around it.
Before I realized it, he reached behind himself and lifted his riding crop from the night table. The thin rod, whistling through the air, cracked sharply across my naked buttocks.
I screamed deep in my throat. But I did not pull away or try to escape his punishment. Somehow, it seemed to be right for me to be like this, on my knees, naked, being whipped while giving him pleasure with my mouth.
Suddenly, he pulled away from me and tore off all his clothes. Leaping upon the bed, he positioned himself on his back spread-eagled.
He pointed at his stiff cock.
I knew exactly what he meant for me to do, and I obeyed. But this time, he wanted me facing toward his feet.
Grabbing my hips, he positioned me above him, so that my cunt was spread directly over his face.
"Suck," he ordered, pressing down on the small of my back.
I took his stiff cock all the way into my mouth. My brain was whirling with excitement as I felt his tongue licking its way up and down the insides of my thighs, moving maddeningly close to the throbbing lips of my moist, young pussy.
I lost the last of my hesitations and thrust my aching cunt down onto his mouth.
His tongue slithered into the cleft between my legs. I groaned and mouthed his cock faster, harder, feeling its pulsations between my busy, suckling lips.
Suddenly, his palm landed with a loud, resounding slap across my taut ass.
Again and again, he smacked me until my ass stung and burned.
I couldn't control myself. I couldn't stop the rapid, frenzied action of my lips and tongue, whirling around his prick, sucking on his burning flesh.
He smacked me harder than ever, hurting my ass terribly.
And at the same time, he ejaculated torrents of hot come into my mouth. I swallowed greedily. Needing to take his passion all the way down to my belly, I forgot that he was beating me, forgot that his fingers were digging cruelly into my flesh.
He forgot everything but the wonderful sensation of my lips and mouth sucking furiously on his throbbing cock head.
Before I knew it, he sank his head into my sopping pussy. He opened his lips wide and let it slip in easy like.
I could feel the heat of his breath as he let it gush down over him.
It felt like warm water was being poured onto my burning cunt lips. He was panting, and his mouth was twitching. The slobber was still pouring from his lips and wetting me something wild.
Then he closed his lips and began to suck. I could feel his tongue slipping back and forth around the length of my cunt, and it felt good.
I kept pumping my hips up to meet his hungry mouth, slipping my clit in and out in little strokes.
He was loving it. His mouth continued to come down on me, and more of my pussy kept disappearing into his face.
My hairs came closer and closer until I could feel them brushing against his nose.
I was watching all this, and it was really something to see. That prick was a cunt-sucker.
When he got the clit clear into his mouth, which didn't take long, he just held his head steady and began to swallow like he was drinking water or something.
I could feel his throat muscles tightening up and loosening, and it reminded me of milking a goat.
The feeling was great, know what I mean?
"Suck it baby," I coaxed. "Suck it dry. Drink it up. Suck it out. Come on, draw on it. Pretend it's a big fat straw and you're getting a drink. Suck, really suck."
He did; I could feel his throat muscles pulling harder on me, coaxing me to let it go.
I did. I just lay there and watched him suck on me. I could feel the hot ball of liquid climbing through me. It felt like an elevator, stopping at every floor.
Each time he would apply his sucking pressure, it would climb a little and each time he would ease up, it would just hover there, waiting to be pulled up higher.
All of a sudden, it reached the top. I could feel the walls of my pussy opening up and I heard him moan.
I knew he was getting it. It felt like he was pulling a long string out of my gut.
My come was running right into his face, and he was drinking it down. He wasn't wasting a drop. He was drinking it all up. Boy, what a guy.
His throat was working just like before. He didn't change a thing. It was pulling regularly on me, sucking the water right out of me.
Finally, though, I didn't have any more to give him. He had sucked me dry. If I had known that, I would have tried to prolong my orgasm.
Then he said, "Well, how about getting back to work on it? How about letting me have a little?"
"Oh, yes, that's what I really want. I want you to fuck me deep and hard. Fuck me now," I said, lying back on the bed, spreading my legs.
He got over me on his knees and lowered himself so that his cock was pushing the lips of my twat in a little.
I just rocked my hips, calling for his huge cock head.
I moaned and started to gyrate my hips, pushing myself up to get his meat.
But he wasn't letting me have it yet.
He let the head of his cock slip into my lips and I continued to slide it back and forth, along the lips of my juicy cunt.
He found where my clit was nested and he aimed his dong for that. When I found where it really was lying, I could feel that he was poking at it with his cock head.
Every time he did it, I'd moan and arch my twat up for more of the stabbing sensation.
I could look down and see my juicy cunt relaxing. The lips of it had parted and I could see the great pink streak between my legs. It was kinda exciting.
My clit had come to life. It was stiff and sticking out from my pussy. His cock was slipping and sliding back and forth across it, driving me out of my mind.
Suddenly he reached down and took hold of my clit, and then he poked it with his outrageous cock.
He wiggled a little, moving the thing around and around, and all of a sudden he struck home. I could feel it pushing its way into the valley of pleasure.
That turned me on some, and I started twitching my hips again, making little short jabs directly at it.
He kept jabbing at me and I kept moaning, holding my clit up for him to bang against. It was outrageous.
like I said before, a hooker will get turned on to some guy and want to keep him as a steady thing for no pay. I mean, a girl has to watch out for her own pleasure every once in awhile too, you know. I just can't go on sucking and fucking guys and never take any pleasure myself.
I have to have someone along that can take care of business for me, too. He had a way with his mouth that was like a suction. He slurped and ate at me like a wild animal.
He's still around these days.
CONCLUSION
In this case, I was most surprised and refreshed to see someone take such a clean and uncluttered view of sex. This young lady certainly knew what she wanted and knew when to take it.
Her lover, it seems, satisfied the things in her that all women need. He satisfied her needs to have someone around to please her, as she pleased the men that come to her for her services.
Pimps and their stables are becoming a current social fad, so who really knows what the future will bring to these women of the world.
CASE HISTORY SIX
Subject: Tony F. Age: Twenty-five
INTERVIEW ONE
I felt at this point I would like to present a case history where the subject was involved with a girl much younger than himself. I must say that I enjoyed his opinions on the subject and the revelations he made about his sex life. It was just another bit of information on the pile of data that is daily augmented by researchers such as myself in this area.
Here, then, is the transcription of his tape.
I really don't know what they sent me here for, Doc. There ain't nothing wrong with me. Just 'cause I got a desire for a funny kind of sex, they think I'm nuts or something, know what I mean?
I mean, a guy's gotta right to live his own life and all, ain't he?
So, the girls complain a little. But they really love it. They always complain. They'd complain if I fucked them with a feather.
They'd even complain if I screwed them right, know what I mean?
Take this girl I had last week, for instance. She was looking for it, she really was.
I saw her walking on the street with her books in her hands and her eyeballs meet mine like you ain't ever seen.
I mean, she looked me up and down, and I'll be damned if she didn't undress me with her eyes. I ain't gonna pass it up.
So I follow her a little way. She knows I'm doing it. She looks over her shoulder to make sure I am. No shit! She actually looked to see if I was following her.
Well, she finally walks down a side street. There isn't a soul around, but the street's well lit, so she ain't got nothing to fear. Know what I mean?
I move up to her, and I said, "Where you headed, you fine young thing?"
"Are you talking to me, sir?" she asks real sweet.
"Yeah," I said, "I'm talking to you. Who the hell do you think I was talking to."
She smiled at me, coy like, and swivels her hips.
"Well," she said, "I'm not going anywhere in particular. I was just out for a breath of fresh air. Actually, I was on my way home."
"Listen," I said, "why don't you and me go back to my place and have a cup of coffee and get to know each other a little better?"
Well, anyway, she finally gives in and comes with me to my apartment.
Before I knew it, I was home and I offered her a beer. I told her to make herself at home, and she did.
I slipped off my shirt and my shoes. I ain't got nothing left on but my pants.
I didn't have all night to waste, so I put my arms around her. She sort of fought me off, but weakly, She really wants it bad. Know what I mean?
Well, to make a long story short, we finally decide to make the scene. She agrees to give me a little.
If only she knew what I wanted a little of, huh, Doc?
Well, anyhow, we finally go into the bedroom and start necking on the bed. I'm hot to trot, but girls, you know how they are.
They're as hot as we are, but they gotta be coaxed. You can't just drop your pants, lift her dress and stick it in.
Naw, they gotta play games and all.
Knowing this, I ain't bothered too much. But I'm impatient. So, I rush it along as much as possible.
I didn't linger on anything that could be passed up.
Finally, we were naked on the bed and loving it up. I'm feeling her young firm pussy and all, and she's really getting worked up. It's wet and sticky already.
Now, I knew what she meant when she told me she was really hot.
"Okay baby, let's get down to business," I said. "You want it, don't ya?"
"You don't have to be so coarse," she said to me.
"Whaddya mean?" I asked.
"Can't you act like a gentleman?"
"How's a gentleman in bed?" I asked.
"He certainly isn't like you," she answered.
"To hell with gentlemen and all that shit," I said. "Feel this and see if it feels like a gentleman," I said.
I took her hand and shoved it down to my whang, which by this time is roaring hard. It's so hot it's already giving with the juices to prepare us both.
By this time she was squirming and moaning like a new-born child.
I moved my hands down around her snatch some, and she spread her legs for me, figuring that I'm getting ready to crawl in.
But I got a surprise for her. When she ain't expecting it, I roll her over quick, and climb on top of her, and slip my dong between her legs.
At first, she resists me, but then, just when I I'm getting excited, she begins to calm down.
This was just what I want. In my mind's eye, I could picture her firm little butt writhing around with my firm hunk of meat sank in her to the hilt.
"Oh, no, stop!" she screams. I figure maybe she never had a real man the right way, but I'm all for showing her I'm one. That's the only way to take a woman, I say. Prong her one right up the ass.
"It's OK, baby," I say. I figure, calm her down, make her believe you 're just going to sock it to her in her loose, mushy cunt, doggie style. So I just smile and keep on feeling her little nips, acting almost gentle.
But, goddammit, as soon as she puts her defenses down, whammo! My pole of power will be in her tight little box in an instant!!
Then she'll know who's boss.
"Aren't you going to take me?" she asks me.
"Sure baby, sure," I said. "I'm gonna take you. But I'm gonna do it my way, all right?"
I didn't wait for her answer. I raised up off her, and real quick I sank the meat to her.
She let out a yell that you could hear for blocks. I shoved her head back into the bundle of blankets, and I go at her.
Boy, did she put up a struggle. And what she didn't know was that the more she struggled, the more I wanted her. But even though she struggled, I think she really wanted it deep down inside.
Anyway, I go at her and all the time she's wiggling and struggling, trying to get away from me and my throbbing hot tool.
I had to hold her down with almost all of my strength.
I even boxed her a couple of times so that she'd lie a little more still.
Boy, was her ass ever a tight one. I'll bet she hadn't been plowed there before. I'll bet she was a virgin. Know what I mean?
I kept the light on so I could see what I was doing. You know, there's something about doing it with the lights on. You can see everything real fine.
like her ass when my cock came out of it. It was so tight, and it hung onto me so hard that it stretched way up when I pulled back.
And when I pushed it to her, she grunted and forced her cheeks together like she could keep me out.
But the harder she squeezed, the harder I pushed. That's really what I wanted 'cause it made her ass even tighter.
"Oh, please don't do this," she asked me, crying like
"Shut up, bitch," I told her. "Just take it and it ll be easier on ya."
"But I don't like this. It hurts," she said to me.
"It's supposed to hurt, you dumb broad," I said to her.
After all, a cock is supposed to hurt, ain't it, Doc? I mean, if it didn't hurt, at least a little, what would be the point of doing it, know what I mean?
I'm busy holding her down, and plowing into her, and watching her all at the same time. It ain't easy, but I managed it.
"Oh," she says, "oh, it hurts, please take it out."
"Baby," I told her, "I'll take it out when I'm damn good and ready. Now just take it and shut your fucking mouth."
But she didn't. She kept struggling under me and I kept plowing into her. My cock's roaring hard, and I'm really feeling good.
Her shit is smeared all over me. I can smell it. But I didn't care. It excited me, because I knew she wasn't really ready for me.
If she had been, she would have wiped her ass out or something.
I got her legs spread wide, and I'm feeding her the stick, and I thought for awhile that she was gonna quiet down.
Her struggles eased up, and she even tried to lie still.
But that didn't last long. She starts up again soon, and this time she's crying. She's whimpering into the blankets and begging me to quit.
But the more she wants me to quit, the more I want of that ass of hers.
I went on grinding into her, giving her every bit of my seven inches. I ain't the biggest, but it ain't the littlest either.
She's telling me it still hurts and that the hurt is getting worse.
That's what I'm waiting to hear. I started banging her ass cheeks like they had misbehaved. I'm slapping my groin into her like I was going to die. The feeling was sensational.
I mean, it was, like, out of this world. You wouldn't believe how gooey it was.
All of a sudden, it's like she's had a secret sack of strength somewhere. She starts to twist and turn and almost gets out from under me.
I pinned her back to the mattress and renewed my fucking. I banged that ass of hers until she was bawling like a baby.
She was beating the bed with her fists and all the while I could feel that her ass was still tensed up, tightened against my cock.
You know, if she had any sense, she would have relaxed and it wouldn't have hurt her very much.
But no, she didn't have that much sense. She tried to close me out by tightening the muscles in her ass. Instead of her ass being real soft and all, it was a pile of tensed muscles.
But that didn't stop me, boy. No siree. I plowed right through those muscles.
What really got me, though, was when I got her so that I could pull my cock clear out and sock it to her all over again.
I like to take full strokes. That's what fucking is all about. That's when it's really at its best.
I guess, when the broad is tense, it hurts them more, but that didn't make any difference.
As long as my cock can get hard, it'll push its way through their silly muscles.
If they got an ass on them, I'm gonna get it in, you can be sure of that. My cock is straight as an arrow, when it's hard.
And I'm circumcised, you know? And there isn't anything to prevent me from really fucking when I get started.
Give me a good ass under me and I can fuck for days. That girl had a good ass.
"How is it now?" I said to her.
"It hurts," she pants back.
"But how is it?"
"Please stop," she said instead.
"Stop?"
"Please," she whines. "I gotta come first," I told her. "But you're killing me," she pleads. "Naw, it ain't killing you," I told her. "It hurts, but it isn't killing you."
"Yes, it is," she said.
"No, now you just shut your little mouth and everything will be all right," I said to her.
"Why don't you let me suck you, if you don't like to fuck," she went on.
"But baby, I like to fuck," I told her. "I am fucking, aren't I?"
At this point in our session, I had to stop Tony and ask him to return for our second visit a week from today. We shook hands and he left with a smile on his face.
INTERVIEW TWO
Just as he left, he came in with a smile. He was ready to continue where he left off. He started telling me that she told him he was fucking her in the wrong way.
She said, "You should be fucking me like other people do it. I should be on my back."
"Oh," I said. "Is that all that's bothering you?"
"Yes," she answered quickly. "Well, then, we can fix that," I said. "Roll over."
I pulled out of her, and she rolled over and spread her legs again.
I lifted them to my shoulder, and hiking her up in the air, I slipped my dick right back into her ass.
Boy, did she let out a yell. Her whole body got tense again, and she started beating at me with her fists.
I didn't care. This position is even better than the other one. Her ass is opened up even wider, and I can get at it easier.
I started banging at her with my hips again, knocking the wind out of her every time I hit her.
But it didn't stop her from crying. The tears are streaming down her face, but I wasn't falling for that shit. It was all just an act.
She really wanted me to take her. But she didn't want me to have my way too easily. She didn't want me to think she was giving in too easily.
Otherwise, she wouldn't have fought so. Her ass was terrific.
"Will you please stop it and get out of here," she yelled at me.
"Shut up, bitch," I yelled down at her. "Shut up or I'll shut your face for you."
But she didn't pay me any attention. She went on making all kinds of noises.
So I hauled off and whacked her one. She fainted or passed out, or something.
Now that she's relaxed, I can really go to town on her. I hoist her legs off my shoulders and straighten them out and spread them out. Being she fainted, she's also hanging loose and her back was limp.
So when I pushed her legs back over her head, her back bent and her ass turns up to me.
I start whipping my dick into it like I was gonna die any minute.
Her ass is so loose, it's making all kinds of sounds.
All of a sudden, she starts letting out the air
I've been pumping into her. It comes out slow and long, making a real rumbling and flapping sound.
I kept breaking it up by plugging her ass, but it kept right on coming between strokes. My cock's all brown from her shit, and it's slipping real easy now.
I'm really getting excited over her. Suddenly, she starts to wake up. For a minute, I don't think she knows where she is.
When she spots me over her, it all comes back and her body goes tense again.
Before she has a chance to say anything, I clued her in.
"One word out of you, bitch," I told her, "and you'll get more of the same. Got that?"
She shakes her head, scared like.
But that don't stop her from tensing her ass up again, which is quite all right with me. I like the tightness.
"Oh, why don't you just fuck me and get it over with?" she finally says, almost disgustedly.
"I am baby, I am."
"But it isn't right. You shouldn't be doing it this way. It isn't right."
"What's wrong with it?" I asked her.
She couldn't answer me.
"Oh please," she says, "then come and get it over with."
"If you'd help me, it would end sooner," I told her smiling all the time.
Her eyes light up at this. She's interested in getting rid of me.
"How can I help?" she asks.
"Make your ass feel good," I told her.
"How?"
"Tighten it."
She tries tightening her shit hole, but it isn't any use. I've stretched it so that I guess it's numb for her.
But I really didn't care. I ain't got long to go. I'm almost there, but I'm not telling her.
"Is that better?" she asked me hopefully.
"Yeah, bitch, yeah. That's a hole to remember."
I can tell she's really trying to help me, because she's even crying to work her ass for me.
She keeps shoving her hips from side co side, increasing the friction on my cock.
"You keep that up and you'll be rid of me in no time," I told her.
She takes the hint and starts working her ass harder and faster, trying to keep up with me.
I have her legs spread wide, and her ass is gaping open by now. It's loose.
She reaches down and starts to diddle with her twat. Then she begins to moan.
"Oh, that's good. It feels good. I'm beginning to like it. Fuck me easy."
"Shit, cunt," I says to her, "I can't fuck easy. I'm a man. I gotta fuck hard. And you gotta take it, or else."
She's trying to fuck up my head. She's trying to twist my mind. But I'm having none of it. I'm onto her.
I keep banging away at her sweet ass, and she seems to like it, really like it.
The mere thought of her sorta excited me, but watching her finger her twat got me even more excited.
"That's it, bitch, work that pussy of yours. Lemme see how much you can stuff into it, come on, fill it."
She did as I told her and starts to shove her two fingers inside, and she's prying her twat open.
I can see what she's doing. I could see way into her pussy. I could even see the little cock she's got. It's all red and wet and stiff, and I guessed she was really excited.
She was really enjoying it.
I could feel my load collecting in my nuts, and I told her so.
"You're gonna get it, bitch, you're gonna get it soon."
"Oh, give it to me," she says. "Let me have it. Give it to me now, give it now, now!"
She's really asking for it now. That really, really did a number on me and I was as hot as hell by that time.
There was nothing that I could do about it except do what she told me. And I was more than glad to do that. I was ready and hot and all set to go and she sure as hell was not going to stop me.
I started pumping and ramming into her like I was going out of my mind and there was nothing that I could do about it.
My nuts were slapping and hitting her against the ass and she was in a state of complete and total arousal.
Her cunt was churning and bucking all over the place and she was gasping for air like she was a fish out of water.
That really turned me on too. That gave me a thrill that I could not believe.
My cock felt like it was going to explode from all the tension that was building up in there and I was sure that soon I would be coming all over the place and in her cunt.
That was what she wanted and that was what she got.
I rammed again and then I started to come like crazy.
I shot my come all the way inside her and she gasped even more when I did.
It was really terrific and I don't think I ever had a better time than that.
It was that wild.
CONCLUSION
This man was apparently relating a tale that was very important to him and I felt that he was somehow able to re-adjust himself into a proper framework.
It is clear that he knows how to handle his sexual problems and that he certainly is able to deal with things as they come his way.
CASE HISTORY NINE
Subject: Sable B. Age: Sixteen
INTERVIEW ONE
Sable B. came to my attention upon the urgency of my dear friend T. Sable B. had turned up in New York city after being taken from Cat Island, a small island in the Bahamas that is between Eleuthera (to the North) and Great Exuma (to the South). Her father had been murdered (at least the scales press down toward homicide of a mysterious sort after initially playing with the suicide side of the scale). Her father was a member of a very prominent American family that had a long history of international influence. Family fortune had always shielded Sable TVs father from the media-allowing him protected isolation on Cat Island enjoying his luxurious privacy-paid in part by the rest of the family, who accepted the responsibility of moral and social gravity and therefore wanted to avoid any inclusion of Sable's father in the family portrait, except as a remote figure. Sable's father managed for most of his life to sustain an illusion of eccentric respectability. Until the wild circumstances of his death were publicized, the rest of the family suspected that things were going on quite unenergetically on Cat Island. Sable B.'s father was just a shy, introverted, nonfunctional member of one of the country's great families-to most people. After his demise at the age of forty-eight, Sable was flown to New York City where some apprehensive paternal relatives opened up their home to her. My dear friend T. is well-acquainted with this particular branch of the family and after a heart to heart talk with John and Rhonda, the paternal relatives, T. suggested that the family open up this problem with Sable B. with me, as a consulting psychiatrist.
Sable B. is a very beautiful young woman and astonishing in her every gesture, her every visible display or signal. After many years in the profession of psychiatry, I have, through
Sable B. come to know a very special and unusual tragedy. Sable B. is sixteen years old. Yet she handles herself With a sexual premonition that many women never possess after a lifetime of sexual activity. Her body is something that she treats with a great deal of indulgence. Sable B. wears clothing, tight little dresses, that is not currently seen since the advance of jeans and woman's pants. She appears to be in a constant state of sexual recognition. Her sexual preoccupations are presently shrouded with a pervasive sadness. Sable B. suffers from extreme alienation resulting from a total atrophy of her sense of belonging and participating in the everyday life of the world that she has never known. Sable B. was raised in total isolation and subjected to an entire catalogue of sexual abuses by her father and a very select group of acquaintances that frequented her father's island home. Without any qualifying reality or any possibility for comparison and contrast, Sable B. accepted and participated in this rarified and violent world that her father generated. Now, after the death of her father and the collapse of that world, Sable B. is faced with the rest of the world; a world that she is having difficulty integrating with because of a continuing sense of hallucination and unreality. Sable B. is preoccupied with every conceivable sexual experience and has been totally immersed in an ongoing, continuous sexual prison since the age of three years old. Sable B. was used as a necessary and particularly privileged prop in the ritualistic and totally realized sexual drama that turned out to be the total preoccupation of every inhabitant and visitor of the Cat Island home, including young Sable B.
Sable B. upon the suggestion of T. and her foster parents, is prepared to begin long term analysis. She is becoming aware, we believe, of the bizarre proportions that her life has taken. She can maintain no peer relationships. She suffers from acute paranoia and depression except when in a degree of unleashed sexual agitation-which is excessive in it's magnitude even when measured with the most liberal standards. Sable B. possesses a desperate sense of struggle with her imprisoned past. She is an uncannily intelligent young woman. Her test results measuring her conceptual abilities were clearly demonstrative of a very high intelligence quota. This is very interesting considering that her entire personality, including her language has been harnessed in the service of sex since she was at least three years old. Sable B. has received no formal instruction in a standard education, although she was continually in the presence of some of the most intelligent and polished gentlemen in the country, who arrived on Cat Island by private jet, usually coming from Washington, D.C. Through a process of assimilation, Sable B. matured a very strong mind, although at this point the focal point of that mind is an intense sexual life of a strange sort.
Sable B. has been known to experience a state of consciousness that is totally disconnected from whatever her current activity may be. She may be sitting in her classroom or at dinner when she begins to generate orgasmic moans and then, in a mild seizure, she falls to the floor. These tremors began one month prior to analysis. The initial response to these seizures was to search for a medical explanation. However, at this point, the primary cause is surely psycho-generated.
"Well you know Doctor, I haven't been in New York very long. I was living on the fringe of the Bahamian Islands until about two months ago. That was after my father died. He died in the spring and then I was sent by some men that came down from New York to tie up everything, I was sent to New York to live with some relatives to my father. I don't like them and they don't like me. I don't like anyone that I meet. Maybe it's just that my relatives are really out of it. They don't do anything. All my life I've been serving men's cocks and now nobody wants me to do that. Not even the smallest things I used to do, like rub my ass against a man's hand. Now I'm being told that everything I've been taught to do is wrong. At first I thought they were all wrong, but now I don't know. It seems like when somebody realizes what I know how to do, they freak out. like the first time I went to a party with this boy that my relatives introduced me to. We were drinking some punch that was clean, you know what I mean-fucking clean without any alcohol or even chemicals. I've learned how to get jazz so fast by now, that I don't even need booze or pills or anything. So I pulled this boy over to a corner near where a crowd of boys and girls were standing and I told him to just stand there. Then I walked away to the opposite corner of the room and then got on my hands and knees and started doing fuck-crawl and ... "
"Sable, tell me what do you do when you do the fuck-crawl?"
"Oh that's when I crawl across a room licking the floor with the tip of my tongue and I wear special high-heel shoes that have cock-heels and as I crawl, I kick the rubber cocks on the shoes up into my cunt. It's a real tum-on. My father really liked it. He and his friends would sometimes stand up against the wall swinging their dicks for hours, while I crawled around the floor doing it. But anyway, at this party with this boy, when I did it, and I was only using these goddamn pink shoes with princess heels on them, this boy started really freaking our and then split. And christ, it wasn't easy for me. With those little heels, you really have to kick hard and high in order to get the heel in the hole. And then it feels like nothing. God I love big cocks. But Doctor, am I supposed to be telling you about things like this or what? I really don't know what to say, except tell you about things that happened to me."
"Sable, in my profession, we use a technique called free association. These sessions will be something like that. You should talk about anything you like. When I think it's appropriate, I'll ask questions. But don't expect answers from me. We'll work together and see what develops, okay?"
"Yeah, that's cool."
"Tell me about your earliest memories."
"The first thing I remember, I remember was being held by my mother. And she was wearing a sable fur coat. She was beautiful. I remember her face. But I don't remember her feeling any particular way about me. I mean she never did anything to my body, except hold me. It's strange. I love the way I feel when I remember her. But she died when I was three. She was sailing in a boat and it was during a bad storm that finally turned into a hurricane. Now that I'm in New York, I sometimes hear people talking about her, saying that she knew there was a hurricane coming and that she went out sailing on purpose. They were probably right. I don't know. But anyway that's all I remember about her. Is being held in her arms with a sable fur coat between my body and hers. And then the other thing that I remember when I was very young was flying in a plane carrying me with my father and some of his friends. We went somewhere that I had never been before and never since. I've asked my father and he says I'll learn the meaning of it someday. But I remember it so well. I've always remembered it. We landed somewhere and then we drove in a very big car to a building that was near no other buildings. Inside the walls were shiny and white. There was a man lying on a table. He was naked. And my father picked me up and sat me down on his cock. I was five years old and I had played with my father's cock before. I sucked on it and kissed it a lot, from the very beginning. But this time, on this other man's cock, when I sat on it, nothing happened. My father started yelling at me to make this man, his friend, the man that was lying on the table, to feel good. 'Make him come, make him shoot, like you do me,' my father kept saying. I did every thing I know. I licked down the sides real good. I cupped his balls in my hands, squeezing them harder and harder. I stuck my fingers up his ass. I almost gagged on his cock, because it was so soft. Nothing would make this man move. He wouldn't even move his head and look at me. He acted like I wasn't there. Nothing was fazing him. I looked at my father and the rest of the men in the room. I remember them looking and smiling and then my father would start screaming again, "Make him come, make him shoot." I started screaming and crying because I didn't know what to do and this man didn't like me, he wouldn't do anything. It was like I was nothing. Then my father picked me up and put me down on the white shiny floor and he unzipped his pants and let his cock out. My father's cock was the most beautiful cock on the island. I started to lick and kiss it and it started to move. I was so happy. I sucked harder and harder. Then there were two cocks in my face. Then there were three and four and five and finally I was rushing my face up against a wall of erect dicks that all wanted loving and sucking and release. I sucked them all. I filled my stomach up with jazz until it ached. I don't remember any more of that time. But I think about that man lying there all the time. It was so horrible. He wouldn't move or respond to me. and I did everything I knew how to do. Christ I was only five, but I was pretty good, even then. But anyway that time seems like the time I felt the worst and the best. I had never felt so sad and awful in my life then as when my father put me on that man, but then I was never so happy as when I had all those big cocks waiting for my mouth to encircle. I guess that was really the beginning of my involvement with my father's friends. Before that I don't have any actual stories that I remember about my father, but I vaguely remember his cock and his ass-hole and his hand in my cunt."
"Did your father do anything to you when you were that young?"
"Oh shit, listen I've been open since I was three for Christ's sake. I know it. The size of my cunt has been evenly expanded. The cock-heel high heels shoes that I wore for the fuck-crawl, got a little higher each year. I mean that each year on the first of January, my father would give me a present of new shoes. The size of the cock-heel was a little longer and a little wider each year. The January before father died, I was given twelve inch heels. For the last two or three years, the fuck-crawl has really felt good. I always just did it before because father wanted me to, but then I started to like the way it would feel. Each time I would stick the heel of my shoe into my cunt, I would get a little more excited until when I reached the other side of the room where my father and his friends were, I would be all ready to serve them with my body that would be all theirs. Theirs to do with as they wanted. Oh God, I don't know what to do. My father is gone and there is nobody but relatives who don't understand my ways and my needs. Doctor, what can I do?"
"Sable, we'll just have to spend lots of time together and think things out. Now that you are in an entirely different situation, with new possibilities, perhaps you can see better what your past meant and therefore begin to know what the present is like and who you are. You know, as you relate your memories, your thoughts, you seem to relate how you served your father and your father's friends with your body. But what about yourself? Did you ever derive any pleasure from something they did to you?"
"Like I said, since I can remember my father touched me a lot. But I would gradually begin to have things performed on me. For a long time, until about two or three years ago, I never really felt physical pleasure. Everything felt good and all because I felt like I was being good and doing what I should do. But then I started to feel really good. I mean I began to shiver with feelings that were delicious. Things were getting better and better. That is up until father died."
"What do you think about your father's death?"
"I feel sad that he left me. I feel like that he wanted to have for himself total satisfaction. And that is why he died. He wanted everything, right now. He began teaching me about the pain that he said was the purest form of energy. But I feel like that father left me before he actually died. He stopped needing me so much and would spend more time with his friends. They are the ones that did it, killed him I mean. Or he really killed himself. He wanted them to do it. Tie him up and put the pressure on and everything. He spent all his time getting ready for it. But now I'm just left all alone. And I need to figure out what I can do in order to be happy. That is all I want. Now I'm always sad and everything seems to be going wrong. I lie in my bed most of the time and remember Cat Island. I was so busy there. There were so many things to do and to attend to."
"What kind of things did you do? Do you mean chores?"
"I guess they were chores. But they weren't the same kind of chores I'm supposed to do here in New York City. At Cat Island I would make up the beds every morning. That meant new sheets. Sheets that were kept in special drawers. Each drawer had a special scent and each day had it's own fragrance. It was so beautiful. I would wear a silk chemise during the morning. It was open with slits in the front and the back. When father's friends were there, it seemed like there was always a cock going in and out between my legs. It was only this last year that I could get fucked by anybody that came to Cat Island. Before that, the only real cock that I could accept was my father's--accept in my cunt that is. In the afternoon's we would always lie on the beach. This was my favorite time of day. I like fucking in the ocean. Little pieces of sand cling to the sides of the cock and rub around inside of my cunt. It feels like little shocks. And the salty warm water feels so alive inside of me. And then at the beach, even on our own private beach, new people would turn up and they would see us there and sometimes, well I guess most of the time really, they would leave when they'd see us. I guess that they thought it was very special and shouldn't be disturbed."
"Sable, what shouldn't be disturbed?"
"Our lessons. Father used to set up lessons on the beach. We'd go out in the afternoon.
Then we'd all he down on the beach, father and myself and then whomever was visiting. Then Jonah, he worked for my father and was about fifteen years older than me, would put the ties on. First he wet them in the ocean and then placed them across tightly, stretched as deliciously far as possible, to stakes. Then we would lay there and understand the meaning of the sun. At least that was what my father said. And he said that the sun's lesson must be experienced every day. Hey, you know, the sun is the biggest ramrod in the universe. My father said that just by laying there on the beach, we were absorbing a lifetime of cock-light every second. Pure power. He said that it would make me the most desired woman in the world. Everything is all messed up now. Here in New York, my whole life is different and depressing. There are no lessons in the sun. When I need a cock, now, that is when I start feeling dizzy and scared, there is nothing to do. It's all fucked up. I want to go back to Cat Island and live all by myself. Even if father will never come back. I want to stay there. Everything that I do here is wrong. Everybody is saying that I have no values. That I'm, what they call immoral. Fucking ass-holes! These people are always worried or mad or something and at least back on Cat Island, I was able to feel pleasure and love."
"Did you love one person more than another while growing up on Cat Island?"
"I loved my father more than anyone. I still do. And then I had separate loves that would come and go. My father said that it was good to love someone extra special because you learn more that way. I mean then you understand one person more deeply than another person so that you realize that there is depth beneath the evident. That was what my father always said. He said that things do not mean what they seem at first glance. I guess it's like people's bodies. This one relative of mine here in New York, he's got a far-out body. You know he's really beautiful. But he always stays at one level. You know always pretending that he doesn't want to get sucked or that he doesn't want to slip it to me."
"What do you mean exactly?"
"I mean that I know he's got a cock that would solve everything for me right now. If I could just get my hands, my ass, my mouth, my cunt on it. If he could just let loose and go wild. Beat me with his balls. Oh god, I've got to fuck. I can't stand it."
"Sable, tell me about these seizures that you're having."
"God, I don't know what is happening. Ever since father died and I have no place to fit into, nothing to do, everything is falling apart.
For about a month now I've been having these spells that begin when my thoughts start beating against the edges of my brain. I mean that I start remembering things on Cat Island and then those thoughts tum into physical feelings. I start to feel everything again. Just like it was happening. Me being wanted and desired. Sucking cocks and getting fucked. And the feeling mounts and mounts until I start to shake in chills and heavy vibrations. Then I fall asleep or something. I guess I faint. It's so weird. And everybody goes crazy when it happens. I've talked to people here about what I'm used to doing. About the days and nights of pleasure and service. And they just say shut up. Rhonda, that's the foster mother that I'm suppose to have now, she is related to my father by some marriage, she is always screaming and crying. It really freaked her out the first time I asked her when the fucking was finally going to start."
"Have you made any progress in talking with Rhonda about your feelings about your past and your father?"
"Every time I've told her anything about Cat Island, she goes into a hysterical rage. Shit, I don't know how many times in just the two months I've been here in New York, that she has beat me and instead of a whipping of love, like father used to give me, she says she hates me and wishes that I was not alive. I can't stand it. I've never been treated so badly. When father was alive I was the center of love. Life was so beautiful. Now all I think about is going back there or else killing myself. My new family won't even listen to my dreams, except for this one relative of mine that guy that has the fabulous body that I was telling you about before, he listens. But that's all. Father used to like to act them out. After I would tell him my dreams every morning, he would help me act them out. It was such great fun. We used to do that first thing in the morning. So I can remember my dream-perfectly. So that we could do everything that happened in my mind before, except in real life. Of course sometimes we had to use our imagination. But father said that was the most important tool of all. That way, if that tool is kept moving, anything and everything can happen. Now since father is gone, even my imagination is not working properly. When inside my mind things start moving, then something clicks and I go into these seizures. It's awful. Before I would come and feel ultimate pleasure when my mind started moving. But now I just end up on the floor with a bunch of freaked out people staring at me."
"Sable, what dreams do you remember?"
"All of them, thousands of them. Really.
One dream that is my favorite was when I was eight years old and father was forty and I had a dream about a tattoo on my father's dick. I had seen tattoos before but never on a cock before. Anyway in my dream, I was laying in bed. It was a Tuesday and so the scent of the sheets was lavender. I was wearing my favorite black silk chemise. There was this boy licking my cunt. His tongue was whipping from one side of my flower to the other. He had a big cock that came out of a blonde bunch of hair. His cock was rose-colored just like the air in the room that we were in. There were four windows in that room and rose-colored light poured in through them. I was laying there and this boy was licking me deep inside and his cock was moving between my feet. I could do that really good. Since I've always been shorter, I've been able to develop my feet.
I can make a man snoot with the sides and bottom of my feet and toes. Anyway just as I was about to make this boy shoot all over me, there appeared in one of the windows the shape of a man. Except the man had no out line, he was all white light. White light standing in the middle of a rose-lit window. As the boy got closer and closer to spurting his come all over me, the figure in the window came closer and it was my father and he was all shiny. He was standing next to me and this boy and my father's cock was all stiff and sticking up like a blazing rod of light and there on the side of his cock was a tattoo, like a brand, of a snake with its tail in its mouth. It was so beautiful.
CONCLUSION
I had to stop her at that point because we had run out of time. Her tale was fascinating and extremely interesting but I found it almost incredible in some respects.
I asked her to return for another visit later in order to have her recount the entire matter completely.
I look forward to it.
GENERAL CONCLUSION
We have seen, then just how different people can be.
There is little doubt in my mind that most of the people who have been interviewed will be able to fit in into normal productive lives once they have been able to come to terms and deal with their various problems.
They have all received some sort of counsel and are mostly satisfied with the results that are beginning to come in.
But I feel that some of them will never be able to completely turn their lives around and force themselves out of the path upon which they have set themselves.
It can be a very difficult thing to break a habit of many years in just a few weeks or months.
