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The Female Sex Drive ....(43k)    by R.B. Andrews

PART I

Fantasies

"Sometimes when we're balling he'll suddenly say to me, 'You're tied up' or 'you're chained to a dungeon floor' and I immediately pick up on the fantasy and put my arms and legs in the right positions to make it easier to pretend I'm tied up, or chained, or whatever. And we'll both come in a minute or so, it's that exciting to both of us. Sometimes I suggest it, sometimes he does. He knows I dig on being tied up the idea of being tied up, anyway and I know he gets off on it, too, so you might say it's our sex fantasy, or one of them, anyway, and not all that much just a female sex fantasy." The speaker is twenty-five years old; her attitude, the reader will discover, is fairly representative of the fantasizers in this report.

Another able-minded female gets off imagining the ugliest, most grotesque "Martian" her active imagination can conjure up. She's fourteen and lives with her parents.

Each of these undeniably horny human females, whom you are about to meet on the following pages, is living proof that the old idea that "human females do not have sex fantasies" is as obsolete as the bustle. Sigmund Freud, the father of psychoanalysis, contended that "happy people never make fantasies, only unsatisfied ones do." His student, Wilhelm Reich, was of the opinion that "fantasies during intercourse are an escape mechanism, a diversionary tactic that helped people resist full orgasmic surrender." Both Freud and Reich were obviously full of Victorian hog-wash. Today's fashionable Beverly Hills psychiatrist Arthur Janov calls sexual fantasizing a defense against "primal pain," and cures fantasizers by forcing them to reexperience their long-buried primal pains. Janov's patients do a lot of screaming, but very little of it springs from orgasmic ecstasy.

Experienced fantasizers, such as the five whose, most intimate and erotically exciting fantasies are revealed in these pages, tend to cherish their ability to get off on their own imaginations. Meet-

CAROL, 20, college student.

LORNA, 25, proprietor of her own retail book store.

HELEN, 26, model, dancer, waitress. MARTHA, 14, high school student.

SUZI, 25, office worker, whose fantasy of being raped by a gorilla leads off the tape-recorded discussion:

SUZI: Well, there was a rather large park, and it was near home so we could go and visit it. It was really woodsy, and there were a lot of paths that you could follow and, at different turns in the paths there'd be different things. like, Garden of Foo Dogs, or this garden or that garden, and one of the things that you would run into as you were turning a quick corner was this huge gorilla carrying off a woman. And it was a gorgeous statue. And it would make me horny every time I saw it. And I would go home, and-

CAROL: You must have really dug on King Kong, then.

SUZI: Yeah, really. And I would go home and have fantasies about the same type of thing happening to me. Being carried off to a gorilla stronghold, and uh-

QUESTION: What did the gorilla do to you?

SUZI At first he was just curious, because I'd be like a naked gorilla, you know? So he'd have to poke me and push me in different places, to try to find out why I was different. That would make him horny and get the idea that I was something that was the opposite sex, and quite fuckable, and it was all force and I was all force and I was always afraid, because there is this big hairy thing that can crush me with one hand, you know?

QUESTION: When did you first start having this fantasy?

SUZI: I think the statue appeared and gave me the idea probably when I was about sixteen, and I never really thought about it until then 'cause I'd never run into anything to suggest it to me until then. That statue was so suggestive, at least to my mind, that it built and carried on to my other fantasies from there.

QUESTION: You fantasized balling the gorilla? Or being raped, forcibly raped?

SUZI: Forcedly taken out and raped.

QUESTION: What did he do with you afterwards? Or was there an afterwards?

SUZI: Oh, pretty much afterwards they'd tire of the oddity of balling a naked ape, and just let me roam through the jungle to find my way back home by myself.

QUESTION: Did you have any other adventures in this roaming?

SUZI: Well, by that time I would usually come and the fantasies would start to dwindle and that would pretty well be the end of it.

QUESTION: Uh-huh. You were masturbating to this fantasy?

SUZI: Usually.

QUESTION: Did you come without masturbating? Could you fantasize yourself to orgasm? SUZI: No.

QUESTION: Some women can.

SUZI: No, I never did. I'd get so horny that I would grab a pillow and start in and make myself come.

QUESTION: Um-hum. When did you, do you remember your first erotic fantasies, or any early, or was that it?

SUZIE: No, that wasn't it. Most of my first fantasies were about walking along and somebody grabbing me, and throwing me behind a bush and raping me. That was the most usual one. It would depend on where my head was at the time, whether I wanted to be walking downtown or whether I wanted to be walking in the woods, or if I wanted to be walking through the cornfields to get home from school, that would be a good spot. I always felt that it would be a good spot because nobody would ever see, you know?

MARTHA: In the cornfields.

CAROL: Wheat fields are beautiful, too.

SUZI: Wheat fields, too. Beat down the wheat, and nobody could still see you.

QUESTION: Do you have a favorite fantasy? Or did you?

SUZI: Um, no they keep changing, like I'd have a favorite fantasy for a few months, and something would come along to blow that one, and that would be a better one, and I'd have it for a few months. I'd just keep changing all the time. I really have never gone back to any of the originals. like, like now if I wanted to masturbate right now, I'd probably would think of my current ones, now rather than going back to some I had when I was twelve. I have never really hung on to a favorite.

HELEN: I didn't have any fantasies when I was little, because I learned to masturbate out of a book when I was seventeen.

QUESTION: That's when you started masturbating or started fantasizing?

HELEN: I was reading a sex manual and I saw this description of how to do it and before then I didn't know that you could do it. I really didn't! I've led a very sheltered life. So I got out the book and I tried it with dismal failure the first couple of times, 'cause I wasn't doing it right. And I finally got the technique down, but I didn't have any fantasies when I started.

QUESTION: When did you start fantasizing?

HELEN: Four or five years later. Somewhere around twenty-two.

QUESTION: What kind of fantasies did you have when you started out?

HELEN: Usually, when I started out just plain old fantasies like fucking. Then, I discovered later on that I was bi so I started fantasizing about girls, 'cause that didn't happen very often and I liked the novelty. I think you fantasize about things that don't normally happen, in your everyday sex life. Maybe things you'd like to have happen.

SUZI: When I first got into fantasizing, of course, I always made myself much more beautiful and desirable than I really was; and I lured the men to do whatever my fantasy was doing at the time.

QUESTION: As a teenager you had a weight problem, right?

SUZI: Um-huh.

QUESTION: Now, you have experienced now being two different sizes of a person ... or two extremes or relevant extremes.

SUZI: Yeah.

QUESTION: How did you fantasize yourself differently when you were fat? And the next half of that is do you do it differently now that you're not fat, anymore?

SUZI: Yeah, but I didn't really think about it until you asked. I used to imagine myself slim, long-legged, and long beautiful hair I never had long hair, either, my mother always made me cut it short, and, that general type of look of Jane Fonda, type. One other thing, too, I was young enough at that time to have to ... I felt I had to fantasize myself older, a more mature woman. Now, I don't. I usually just fantasize things happening to me, as I am.

QUESTION: Do you ever fantasize being a "dumb blonde?"

CAROL: No, that whole concept turned me off.

QUESTION: Have you ever fantasized yourself as a Barbie doll?

CAROL: Yes, in fact I have. I fantasized me as being a Barbie doll during the ages of eleven, twelve, and thirteen. I had noticed that all the girls with great figures were getting all the guys and I was, of course, guy-crazy and wanted to be picked-up, too. So, whenever I arrived home from anyplace where there were guys, I would fantasize myself with one of them, and me being seventeen or eighteen years old with a perfect figure. Sometimes, to help the fantasy along I would dress up and stuff my blouse and pad my hips, then pretend that some guy took me to his pad. He would start seducing me, using the usual routine of turning the lights low, soft music and bring glasses of champagne or red wine. The guys usually tried to get me loaded. Then would come the seduction. He would start undressing me and I would give a little struggle. A few times the guy had to rape me. The ones who raped me usually performed some perversion on me like tie me up and torture me. During all this I would be slowly undressing myself and start masturbating. The fantasy story never had an end because I would feel satisfied almost as soon as I started masturbating.

QUESTION: I bet you had a mirror.

CAROL: Yeah, I did. I had to, so that I could see myself with a Barbie doll figure. Otherwise the fantasy wouldn't work. I needed to see myself with the desirable figure before I could masturbate to that fantasy because the only thing that made that fantasy work well was believing, almost knowing that I was desirable. Sometimes I would place myself in the mirror in such a way that when I played with myself, it could be seen as someone else's hands, like the guys hands were playing with me. I also used some of my mother's makeup when possible because I knew that all the "good-looking" girls wore makeup. And I wanted to be "good-looking," almost model looking.

QUESTION: Do you still fantasize yourself having a different physical being than you really have; like being some other size?

CAROL: Well, not at this moment, anymore. I did, though, just a couple of months ago. Occasionally, when I was balling and fantasizing at the same time, I would picture myself with slightly larger breasts. I have very small breasts and I still watch all the bigger breasted women get all the guys. Of course, they claim that they watch me get all the guys. Whatever. Now, I can't get off at all on fantasizing me any different than I am. I have tried and the whole concept of it turned me off.

QUESTION: Lorna, do you ever fantasize yourself being at a different age?

LORNA: No, I think I did when I was younger. But I haven't for...

QUESTION: You had a weight problem, too, didn't you?

LORNA: I've always been plump.

QUESTION: Your present weight is then something new for you?

LORNA, Yeah.

QUESTION: How do you like it?

LORNA: Very much. I feel a lot sexier than I did when I was heavier.

QUESTION: Do you fantasize differently?

LORNA: No. I fantasize more now, but not differently. When skinnier I think more about sex, than when I was fat. I didn't want to think about sex, because I didn't feel sexy, I didn't fee! beautiful in bed, or anything.

QUESTION: I would think offhand that possibly fat you would fantasize more because you were getting less, if Helen's theory holds up.

LORNA: No, I wouldn't ... when I had the uglies I just turned it off. I would go for long periods without getting horny, without getting laid, without masturbating, anything. I would just turn it all off. When I have the uglies there is no way I can get my mind on sex.

QUESTION: Do you fantasize yourself as being physically different than you are now?

LORNA: Yeah, well I have still got some more to lose. This is such a difference from the weight I have already lost that I'm looking forward to the changes in my weight some more.

QUESTION: Helen, what's your experience been with weight?

HELEN: Oh, god, I'm right in the middle of a battle right now. I'm on Sego this week. I've got ten pounds to lose.

QUESTION: Have you ever been what you would consider fat?

HELEN: No. Just by my standards, slightly overweight. I've got pretty exacting standards.

QUESTION: How do you fantasize yourself when you're having a masturbation fantasy?

HELEN: Just the way I am, normally. I've never been that far away from my ideal, that I had to change things. I've never really felt that ugly.

Slightly uglier some days than others but most of the time I like the way I look. I always fantasize myself the same age as I am at the time, and the same body.

QUESTION: Carol, did you have early favorite fantasies?

CAROL: Yeah, but I don't remember any of them except for one I had around eleven or twelve, and that was being tied up against a wall, spread-eagled and being raped by a hundred and fifty men.

SUZI: Only a hundred and fifty?

QUESTION: Did you ever count them? Or did you just assume that that was a nice number of men to be raped by?

CAROL: I don't know. I may have counted them once but a hundred and fifty is the number that sounds like that might have been it. I've never had it since then. And probably never will again.

SUZI: It is a sexy sounding number.

CAROL: Yeah.

QUESTION: Were they all different types of men?

CAROL: Oh, yeah, there were Chinese, and black people different people from African countries and Russians and Italians and Hindus and Turks and South Americans and Eskimos, and all that bullshit. Just from all over. And yes, I do remember counting them and it was a hundred and fifty. I had had the fantasy a few times already and was starting to get bored with it. So one night I decided to count the men as they were balling me before I threw the fantasy away.

QUESTION: Were they all other races or other groups than your own?

CAROL: All but one-

QUESTION: You're a pale, blue-eyed blonde.

CAROL: Yeah, there was one pale, blue-eyed blonde guy. He was a surfer, an American surfer; but only one.

QUESTION: The rest were contrasting?

CAROL: Uh-huh.

QUESTION: That's interesting. Martha?

MARTHA: My favorite one?

QUESTION: Yeah, what is your favorite masturbation fantasy?

MARTHA: Oh, it is being carried off by, sort of like a Cinderella, like I'm sitting there waiting for him to carry me off. I was really hung up on fairy tales for a long time, you know, 'cause when I get loaded I like to read fairy tales. I was imagining myself as this helpless young maiden. And this white knight in shining armor comes riding up and sweeps me off my feet. And he balls me, he's like gliding over.

QUESTION: Where does he ball you?

MARTHA: He balls me in a field of white flowers, and the flowers are about two feet off the ground. So all you see is a field of white flowers. It is really nice, for it is on this nice royal bed.

QUESTION: In the middle of the field?

SUZI: Of course.

MARTHA: It's beautiful. QUESTION: Of course. It's a fantasy. That is your favorite?

MARTHA: Yeah.

QUESTION: Do you have different ones? MARTHA: Yeah.

QUESTION: All right. Well, tell me another.

MARTHA: Oh, like the one I told Suzi earlier, when I'm walking down the street, I have this thing, well you see I have been hitchhiking a lot, and I was picked up by this one guy that is the whole thing that started it, I was picked up by this guy and me and my girlfriend were hitchhiking, and I was wearing a real short dress, nylons and the whole bit, just as I was getting out of the truck he went up my leg, you know? And ever since then I have had the fantasy that when I am walking down the street, that every guy that looks at me balled me, which was really strange, as soon as he'd looked at me, he had balled me. I never even came.

QUESTION: You mentioned, Suzi, that if you were going to masturbate right now it probably wouldn't be the gorilla fantasy, it would be something else. What would be your current favorite fantasy?

SUZI: Favorite one, currently, is balling on the back of a running horse.

CAROL: I've had that fantasy. MARTHA: Ooh, yeah!

SUZI: Yeah, the idea of a guy coming along and dragging me up in front of him on a bareback horse, and using the horse as motion mostly to ball me...

QUESTION: What's your position in this?

SUZI: I'd be facing him with my back to the horse's neck, so I'd kinda have something to lean against in a way if I needed it.

QUESTION: Where are your legs?

SUZI: They'd have to be over his legs, cause his are down on the horse's side, and he would be in me, and the horse's motion alone would be enough fucking motion to really get it on.

MARTHA: Yeah.

QUESTION: What color is the horse? SUZI: Oh, I usually pick a black one, a black stallion.

QUESTION: How many times do you come when you masturbate Martha?

MARTHA: About once.

QUESTION: And you quit after the first one?

MARTHA: I just don't. I just, I don't know, it...

QUESTION: Okay, how many times, when you ball, how many times do you come?

MARTHA: About twice.

QUESTION: Suzi, same two questions.

SUZI: If I get super horny I'll masturbate and come really heavy once, and that will kind of exhaust me, and I'll kinda get up and do other things. I'll feel good. But it doesn't take me too long to be horny again and I'll have to come back in and do the same thing all over again. I've never been able to come in and say, "Okay, I'll masturbate for the next two hours," and come over and over again. It's never been able to work that way for me, and if I'm not that horny usually the once is enough. But if I'm really super horny I get up for another fifteen minutes then all of a sudden it'll hit me, and I'll run back, and do it again, sometimes that'll be three or four times. QUESTION: Carol?

CAROL: If I have to time it I usually come once or twice. Because just the fact that I have to time it just brings me down. I don't like having to time anything. If I know I've got the whole afternoon free then I could come just hundreds and hundreds of times if I want to.

QUESTION: How many times do you come when you're balling?

CAROL: Again, it's about hundreds and hundreds of times, unless it's timed and then I start feeling...

QUESTION: Unless there's a limited time. Suppose you've only got fifteen minutes?

CAROL: If I can only ball for fifteen minutes then it really turns me off, knowing that I've got to do everything all at once then I just say, "Oh, screw it." It just fucks my head up, and you know, I may come once, I may come twice, but it's not quite the same as coming when I know I can ball as long as I want to. It's purely spontaneous. It would also depend on how I started. If I'm horny almost all day, and I know we've got a quickie coming, then, yeah, all my old man has to do is stick his cock in me and I'll come. He won't have to move even. QUESTION: Suzi?

SUZI: Oh, wow. Numerous times when I'm balling and it doesn't ... I don't care if it is short, long, or ... I've never stopped to count.

CAROL: Neither have I. After three I lose count, anyway.

QUESTION: All right now, the two of you are quite multiply orgasmic. While Martha seems to be coming about twice.

MARTHA: It takes a lot. It takes really...

QUESTION: Do you come easily?

MARTHA: No, I don't.

SUZI: That's probably lack of practice.

CAROL: Yeah, that's probably what it is, 'cause when I had first started balling, I didn't come that often either, it took a lot of work.

SUZI: Me either. It took an awful lot.

MARTHA: Shows you how young I am.

QUESTION: Okay. How long have you been into sex? As a participant with other people?

MARTHA: Oh, damn. Since I was twelve and a half.

QUESTION: That's about two years. Okay, do you remember when you started masturbating?

MARTHA: About a year ago.

QUESTION: You mean, you had balled guys before, but you had never masturbated?

MARTHA: Right.

QUESTION: That's a curious thing. Suzi how old were you when you started masturbating?

SUZI: Six. Yeah, about six.

QUESTION: And how old were you when you started balling?

SUZI: Twenty-one.

QUESTION: Okay, Carol?

CAROL: I don't remember exactly when I started masturbating. I probably was around four or five. It seems about the right time. I started balling when I was sixteen. I started masturbating heavily around twelve. It was very light masturbation between the ages of four and twelve though, very casual. At twelve or eleven I really started getting super, super horny and I had to masturbate. My mind was running wild then.

MARTHA: I used to watch old movies, and just get super horny, and I couldn't do anything about it, 'cause nobody was there, and so I'd go masturbate. Now I get to thinking about it after a while, "God, isn't there anybody else I know that masturbates. Everybody thinks it's so dirty, but it isn't." You know? Everybody thinks "God, it's, it's filthy, how can you do that? You're corrupting yourself." But it isn't.

LORNA: Well, when I first started masturbating, I didn't know I was masturbating. I was just doing something that was pleasurable. I started when I was about seven or eight years old, and at that time it was just...

QUESTION: What did you think when you discovered it had a medical name?

LORNA: Well, by that time I knew it was sexual. But I didn't have any fantasies when I first started doing it. It was, just, you know, a pleasurable feeling. It was like scratching a itch. And then, as I got a little bit older I usually got turned on when I was in the bathroom. If I had just taken a shower, or something, and I was drying off afterwards. I found terry cloth terribly sensual. It really felt nice when I had a towel wrapped around me and just let it slide down over my tits. So I had fantasies about somebody coming into the bathroom and making me let the towel slide down over my tits. That was about the extent of my fantasies, then.

QUESTION: That was when you were how old?

LORNA: Twelve, thirteen, fourteen. Before I started going out with boys anyway. Later I stopped fantasizing completely. It was just sort of a mechanical thing; I get horny, I masturbated, and that was it. No head trip at all.

QUESTION: Do you have a favorite fantasy, Helen?

HELEN: Yeah, but it's a sex fantasy rather than a masturbation fantasy. I haven't masturbated in so long I forgot how to do it. A long time. I can't wait to tell you about those fantasies. But lately with balling I gotten into kinda a it's not a rape fantasy because I certainly wouldn't enjoy it if anybody just took me and threw me on the floor and started to ball me but it's kinda a submissive thing, like I'm being kinda overcome.

QUESTION: Are you overcome by anybody you know? Or is it a stranger? Or what?

HELEN: No, no it's always the guy I'm balling. Which in this case has been my old man for a long time.

QUESTION: Do you ever share your fantasies with him?

HELEN: Oh, yeah, as a matter-of-fact the first time it happened with this kinda of quasi-rape, sorta of an overcoming bit, we got into it simultaneously. Without saying a word. Just at the same moment I started struggling and he pinned my arms over my head with one hand. And we didn't say a thing to each other. We just, you know, it went between us. And it pretty much happens like that most of the time. And sometimes when I feel like it, I'll start to struggle a little, and he'll catch on and pin my hands. But it only happens maybe one out of ten times.

QUESTION: Lorna, do you share your fantasies with your partner?

LORNA: I never fantasize while I'm balling.

QUESTION: You never do?

LORNA: My mind doesn't function at all while I'm balling, I mean never to the extent of ... I never spoke while balling before I went to bed with my present lover. I could never get my mouth to function to the extent that I could actually say anything. I mean I'd moan a lot, but that was about it. I've been trying to start my speech centers going but they seem to be in a rut. Because I keep forgetting they're going. My mind doesn't operate at all when I'm balling. It's ... totally physical. It's not mental at all.

QUESTION: No images?

LORNA: No flashes of light and that kind of thing, but, but no, no pictures or anything like that either. The fantasies that I have now are like if I see a really good looking dude. Or if I'm talking to a sexy dude, I'll fantasize what it would be like to be in bed with him. But that's about it.

QUESTION: You never fantasize while balling?

LORNA: Oh, no. Not now. But I did when I was married to my husband.

QUESTION: Why do you think that was?

LORNA: 'Cause I wasn't satisfied with him and I always kept thinking, "Oh boy, the only way you're going to make it is to pretend he's somebody else."

QUESTION: Who did you pretend he was?

LORNA: A close friend I was also balling. He's the only other dude besides my husband for the first year or so after, no I didn't ball anybody but my husband for the first eight months we were married; then I started balling this friend. And he's about the only guy I balled for the next year.

MARTHA: I used to really get Mark pissed off 'cause I was really ... There's this guy, Richard, who got locked up for a while. And Mark would go, "What are you thinking about?" And I'd say "You want the truth?" And he'd go, "Yeah." Then I'd say "I'm thinking you are Richard and I'm balling Richard instead of you." He used to get so mad at me. But it was the truth. Also, I used to tell him that I imagined that he was just a dick on a board, like, the way he was acting.

SUZI: Usually, if I'm fantasizing something while I'm balling, I'll start talking about it, almost as though I'm thinking it. It's the way I'd be thinking it to me and talking about it and that usually ends up, getting my husband a lot hornier and we both start sharing the fantasy and really getting off on it.

QUESTION: Carol, do you share your fantasies?

CAROL: Yeah, we definitely share, my man and I. I think one of our favorite fantasies we share with each other is another girl in bed with us and doing daisy chains or both of us licking her, or both of us (girls) licking his cock, or whatever. We tend to share that quite often, in fact, lately.

QUESTION: Do you have time periods where you share a particular fantasy for awhile and then you change off and you share another fantasy for a while. Or is it all just the same fantasy?

CAROL: Do you mean within the same balling period? Oh, yes. We definitely do switch. Sometimes we're fantasizing a whole group of people, a small group of people, and have a little orgy.

Sometimes we're balling a guy.

QUESTION: Do you wear out your fantasies? I suppose you get tired of the taste of it, for a while.

CAROL: Oh, yeah.

QUESTION: And then maybe go back to it?

CAROL: I change fantasies so quickly. I usually don't even have the same fantasy in the same day, or ever again. I get bored with a fantasy very quickly. I have it once, and that's it, I don't want to have it again, and I usually don't.

MARTHA: Fantasies are sorta like dreams. But you are awake. It is like a daydream. But usually your fantasies are good, you know? Cause like a person like me I don't dream. 'Cause I found out that when they're bad, my conscious...

CAROL: I think fantasies are a little stronger than daydreaming.

MARTHA: ... just didn't want to let them in. But when I do fantasize, it is sorta like a dream I'm letting in. You know, while I'm asleep, but I'm really awake.

QUESTION: How often do you fantasize?

MARTHA: Mostly all of the time.

QUESTION: How often do you fantasize erotically? How many times a week?

MARTHA: About four or five times a week. Usually when I'm really super horny, or when I just sit down and think about everything that's been happening.

QUESTION: And do you get off?

MARTHA: Sometimes.

CAROL: I don't know how many times I fantasize a week. It changes. Sometimes I have so much input that I don't have time to sit down and fantasize. And sometimes I can fantasize just days, and days on end. It changes.

SUZI: Yeah, that's about the way it runs for me, too. I could almost say I fantasize everyday. Because I fantasize a lot when I'm balling, and that happens everyday. But to actually sit down and have one of my own, without my husband coming up and making me horny first, or something, like I wanta sit down and make myself horny, um, yeah, two or three times a week. I suppose if it's a calm week, really. Sometimes I'm so busy.

QUESTION: Carol, what would your favorite current fantasy be?

CAROL: I have no favorite current fantasy. I do have favorite people, though in my fantasies at this moment: Carl, and Bill, and Mitch. It seems to switch off between those three, or all three of them, come and either rape me, or we voluntarily ball, or whatever.

QUESTION: Individually? Or in groups?

CAROL: Both ways, sometimes individually, sometimes in groups, sometimes all three of them.

QUESTION: Suzi, do you ever fantasize multiple sex?

SUZI: Yeah, that's one that I have been getting into recently. Thoughts of like, I'm home all alone. and friends come in, like my ex-boyfriend will come in and get me kinda horny, and then say "O.k. guys, come on in." And they're usually faceless friends; but just so that there are a lot of them. I usually fantasize three or four all together, and taking turns doing all kinds of things, sucking, fucking...

CAROL: Three or four is a good number to work with, even in fantasies.

SUZI: Yeah, I'd never, oh, come to think of it I did have a fantasy similar to yours of one-hundred and fifty. Way, way back, like, when I was about seven, guessing around that age somewhere, I used to fantasize nobody actually fucking me, because I really hadn't gotten my head into that yet. I was still frightened of that idea of some man actually putting it into me. But I would fantasize like a group of archers, they'd either be mongols, or Robin Hood type men, or that type of thing, capturing me in the forest, taking me to their they would usually be in a large...

MARTHA: Lair?

SUZI: Lair, big room. And like tying me up to the wall, or to a cross. Or actually nailing me to the cross, and using me for target practice. But I lived through it.

QUESTION: What did they aim at?

SUZI: Usually my breasts, or my pubic area. One or the other. It didn't scare me at first. You know?

QUESTION: Martha?

MARTHA: I always used to, I felt every time, I fantasized that I'm balling underwater, it just happens the little fish are coming by and watching me. You know? I'm doing it, like I'm doing it for other people, more than for my own benefit. I'm horny goddammit you know? like having everything, the water and the whole excitement of the thing come up and grab you. You know. Sorta like, well, I don't know, sorta like suffocation. But being surrounded.

QUESTION: And you're balling whom? MARTHA: Usually about two guys. QUESTION: How are you accommodating two guys?

MARTHA: Well, one is eating me out, and the other one is touching me and kissing me, and everything. And sometimes when I'm underwater, I can feel everybody's hands. Everybody that's watching me comes up and takes their hands and just like I've got two-thousand hands caressing my body.

CAROL: Hummmmm.

QUESTION: Do you know any of the people who these hands belong to?

MARTHA: About three of the men. That's usually Bill, and Don, and Mark.

QUESTION: Have you been to bed with all three of these guys?

MARTHA: Yes.

QUESTION: Have you ever balled more than one guy at a time?

MARTHA: No. I haven't. I can't wait to, really, but I haven't. It gets me horny just thinking about it. I remember I used to fantasize about being balled by two guys, one on the bottom, one on the top.

QUESTION: One on the bottom, one on the top, how? One in your anus and one in your vagina?

MARTHA: Really. And being completely like they were big guys. They were big and fat like the kind of guys you would swear if they ever sat on you, you wouldn't be there anymore.

HELEN: Sounds like a three-way with a couple of Japanese wrestlers.

MARTHA: Yes, yes. And, there wasn't any of me except for my head and my toes sticking out of all of it. All you could see of me between both of them were my head and my toes.

QUESTION: Fascinating. Suzi? Have you ever enjoyed multiple partners in actuality?

SUZI: No.

QUESTION: Would you like to?

SUZI: Yes, I think I would. Yeah.

LORNA: I can think of a few men that I would like to go to bed with simultaneously. Two different dudes. I've been in orgy situations and it hasn't been quite right I mean it would have to be right to have been so nice. Probably would be a nice try out for an evening anyway.

CAROL: A couple of good friends of mine who are on the road at this moment have a very nice, very casual triad going with me whenever we can get together. And it's great fun. We all get off on each other the guys are bisexual, so I get to sit by and watch them get off on each other. Then the three of us get off on each other or whatever.

QUESTION: Was that your first triad?

CAROL: My first time in a triad was a year and a half ago. With a couple guys I didn't know very well. It was okay for what it was, but I felt I was having too many demands laid on me. It would have been easier if they had been bisexual, much easier. As it was, they demanded me to satisfy them and if I couldn't do it, I'm the one who screwed up.

QUESTION: You say you enjoyed watching them ball each other?

CAROL: Oh, yeah. I get off on watching guys ball.

QUESTION: Do you fantasize watching guys ball?

CAROL: Yeah, and I fantasize watching girls ball, too.

QUESTION: Suzi, have you ever fantasized watching guys ball?

SUZI: No, I really hadn't. For one thing it never occurred to me until recently. I'm really behind on being educated in what is possible. I was scared of touching another woman, especially because I have been really raised, drilled into me that that is super heavy wrong. I had a very close girlfriend, and people kept accusing us constantly of being lesbians, and we did everything we could to stay ten feet apart from each other at all times so that people wouldn't think of that, so I really had a mental block against that. Then with Elaine one of my husband's girlfriends and that sounds just awful with Elaine it was the first time anything like that had ever happened to me. And it scared me. I was running for a long time. Then I got-

QUESTION: What do you mean, "anything like that" touching another female?

SUZI: Touching another female. Having another female around me in a balling situation was frightening to me. But I have gotten to the point where I have learned that I shouldn't be frightened, first because what frightened me was that I was turned on by it. And that scared me. I thought, "My god I'm turning into a lesbian." So I ran from it for a long time. But I'm settling down to the fact that, yeah, well it does make me horny, and that's all that there is to it. And if I enjoy it then I should enjoy it.

QUESTION: So, have you fantasized about girls balling, or about your balling a girl?

SUZI: Yes. It's becoming more and more exciting to me. It is really just getting into a beginning, a budding of a fantasy, here. I haven't really gotten into it that heavy yet.

QUESTION: This, then, is a fortunate spot to be in. How do you build a fantasy?

SUZI: Wow! Most of mine start with forceable type situations. I'm stuck in the situation. There is nothing I can do about it. If they want to touch me or fuck me or suck me or anything like that I have no control over it.

CAROL: That is how my fantasies with balling girls started. They had to rape me for a while. Now I start raping them.

SUZI: Yeah. It's just now beginning to the point where I'm fantasizing just her being here, and being able to reach out and touch her. If I imagine that Mike is here, too, I can be doing things to him while he is doing things to her, to cause a chain reaction. I guess that's what a daisy chain is, isn't it? Beginning, doing things to the person to make them hornier to do something to the next person, so that it will eventually come around to you again. I'm just beginning to get into the idea that I can start things, too.

QUESTION: Lorna, do you ever fantasize balling girls?

LORNA: Sometimes. The only women I'm interested in balling I'll never ball a woman I don't love. Not anymore, I've tried that. With men it's different, but with women I have to love them. I've got a very close friend that I would like very much to ball, but I don't think that I could approach the subject. I'd be more interested in a threesome with her.

QUESTION: Do you fantasize balling girls?

HELEN: Oh, yes. We talked about that fantasy before ... Yes, frequently, that's usually my most frequent masturbation fantasy. It's kinda hard when you're balling a guy. I've tried it a couple of times! But like Lorna said, I am much more discriminating about the women I'm turned on by than the men. It's like two to one. There's twice as many men running around with free time, a lot more indiscriminate men.

QUESTION: Men as a category turn you on, then?

HELEN: Oh yes. I have a thing about cocks. And men have cocks.

LORNA: I don't particularly enjoy going to bed alone with a woman because there's something missing. No matter how many times I come it's never quite like it is with balling a dude. But a threesome is quite nice. As long as I can get a cock in me, sometime during the evening, I'm fine. There's lot's of chicks that I'll look at and I can appreciate just their physical sensuality, but there aren't too many chicks that I want to go to bed with.

QUESTION: Martha have you ever fantasized balling a girl?

MARTHA: No. I haven't. I have always wondered what it would be like. I never really wondered about it for a long time until I met these two homosexuals that were living in the park. And they were guys. I'd never been around any homosexuality at all in my life. Mother had always said "Well, there's nothing wrong with them, just let them do their thing." I'd have to trust the person very much if I ever did it with a girl. I would really have to trust them and love them a lot. But I never really thought about it until now. I thought a lot about guys getting off on each other.

QUESTION: Have you used that as an erotic fantasy? I mean does it make you horny thinking about guys getting off on each other?

MARTHA: Yeah.

QUESTION: Would you like to watch guys get off on each other?

MARTHA: Oh, yes I really would. I watched sorta but I had to leave, Roger and Jim back home. Getting off on each other. It was pleasant to watch. But I kept wondering what do they feel like? I mean what exactly is going on inside of them right now? I got to thinking about it and I thought well maybe they don't like it, or maybe they are just doing it to please the other. And I started to hate it. I just got really repulsive to the thought of it. Until just recently.

QUESTION: What were they doing?

MARTHA: They were just feeling each other out, just at that point. I wasn't in the right head-space to cope with it. But it was fascinating to watch. It really was. It was Tike they were both about to come, on just having somebody touch them. And it scared me, it really did. Because I really wasn't into sex that much, that heavily. I really hadn't thought about the different aspects of it.

CAROL: I've been having a fantasy lately which consists of me balling two clowns in the center ring of a huge three ring circus. like maybe Ringling Brothers. Or something bigger than Ringling Brothers. Ringling Brothers is too small for that. And the clowns are two guys that I have balled already in a triad. The triad I mentioned earlier. They're in clown make-up. Once in a while when I have the fantasy I'm in clown makeup. Most of the time I'm not, though.

QUESTION: This is a recurring fantasy, then?

CAROL: It's come up a few times. But each time there's always a different little thing about it, something different.

QUESTION: There anybody else in this big circus tent?

CAROL: Sometimes it's a whole fuckin' audience. Sometimes there's nobody. Sometimes just the circus owner, and Ringmaster. Sometimes he's there walking around announcing a whole bunch of acts which are never there. But he just keeps announcing them.

QUESTION: Helen, have you ever fantasized balling a guy with two cocks?

HELEN: No, just separate guys with one cock each. like about five of them.

QUESTION: Simultaneously?

HELEN: Yeah. Well not all fucking, obviously, simultaneously. We were doing other interesting things, all the other things you can do with the other appendages. Of course I fantasize everything when I fantasize that, but never a guy with two cocks, no. Interesting idea.

LORNA: Yeah, I never thought of that, either. Thanks for the idea. He gave us all a new fantasy!

CAROL: I sometimes fantasize that my cunt has a tongue which can come out and lick my clit.

MARTHA: Oh yes.

HELEN: I'd like to see that sometime.

CAROL: So would I.

MARTHA: Bet you'd like to feel it more than see it, though.

CAROL: Yeah, my cunt has a tongue that would on any guy that's balling me would lick up and down his shaft and do all kinds of neat things around that. And if a guy wasn't around I'd use it to lick my ... my clit and other things like that.

SUZI: Mike my husband-kind of started giving me that fantasy, because I have an extra piece of skin inside from something, I don't know what. And he noticed it and was saying, "Hey, how weird." You know? And I started thinking like, "Wow, if I could just make it move like a tongue or something," you know?

CAROL: That would be great.

QUESTION: Have any of you ever fantasized being a man balling a chick?

SUZI: Um, yeah, balling another chick, a lot of times even balling another guy.

MARTHA: Oh, I keep fantasizing about, wondering about what it would be like to ball me. You know?

CAROL: I had a very good dream fantasy about what it would be like. It felt so realistic. I was first me, and then all of a sudden I changed into the guy, and I was balling me, and it's pretty nice. It was very interesting.

SUZI: Usually when I fantasize being a male and fucking either another female or a male, somehow I'm still a girl but I have grown a penis, and can use it.

CAROL: I've done that too.

SUZI: Which is usually the way it is.

QUESTION: Then in this fantasy you have a clit and a penis, large tits and so forth?

SUZI: Yeah, the whole bit. That's why a lot of times I figure I'd like to ball another guy when I'm fantasizing that. Because then we can turn tables after that, too.

QUESTION: Do you invent all of your own fantasies or do you pick them up from other sources, too?

SUZI: Both. It's like me seeing the statue of the gorilla put the idea into my mind, or my husband telling me about the extra piece I have inside me started me thinking about other things. Then there's times when I just have my favorite situations and maybe at the time I have my favorite people, whether I'm reading about them in magazines or making them up in my head or actually know them. Whatever mood I'm in I pick and choose from all kinds of different things and make up my own fantasies.

QUESTION: Do you pick up anything from porn stories?

SUZI: Oh yeah, um, God, I can't think of any right now. But I picked up different horniness feelings from some weird porn stories, and then maybe thought about them later if the guy was going this particular position or that particular movement to me later on.

LORNA: When I got into reading porn, that took care of my fantasies, because I would just read and masturbate at the same time. It took no effort at all.

QUESTION: You found it easier to read other people's fantasies than to make up your own, is that right?

LORNA: Yes, right. I'd wait until I got to a good scene, without any sadism or masochism, and get into it whatever it was. That was about my only requirement. I couldn't get off on violence at all.

QUESTION: You preferred straight to kinky, then, as far as fantasies go?

LORNA: No, no, I just preferred no violence. After that I could get off on just about anything else.

QUESTION: Do you identify with the heroines or victims or whatever in porn novels?

SUZI: Yeah, usually, like the Shamed Lady? That's right?

CAROL: Shamed Maiden.

SUZI: Shamed Maiden, yeah. I could really identify with Liz quite easily.

CAROL: Yeah, I sometimes identify with some of the people in stories, sometimes I'll take a story that isn't really a porn story and identify myself with one of the people in it.

MARTHA: There was this book I read, oh, it was I just got done reading it, George Orwell's 1984. And I started picturing myself as, um, God, I can't remember her name now. Ah, it was a setting like they had to sneak off to this room and do sex and I can see myself being her and doing the same thing cause I remember a lot of times while I was...

CAROL: I fantasized that out of the book, too, when I read it. The idea that I was sneaking off and trying to hide the fact that I was balling from the rest of society was kind of fun.

MARTHA: It's hard. It really is hard, I went out with this guy who is thirty-four and I was balling him. God, some of the hairy fights he had with his wife. I'd be sitting in the bedroom, listening, and she'd come in and go, "That girl is here, isn't she?" And they'd get into this big hassle. And I read that and I go, "My god, that's me!" You know, 'cause we used to sneak off, cause he owned the motel, sneak off to one of the rooms and just come out like we've been working or something.

QUESTION: Have you fantasized balling famous people?

LORNA: Yeah. Rudolph Nureyev.

CAROL: He's a ballet dancer, right?

LORNA: Yes. Rudolph Nureyev has the most exquisite ass you have ever seen in your life and the most gorgeous-looking cock and nicest body and most beautiful hair and he's famous.

HELEN: How do you know what his cock looks like?

LORNA: He wears extremely tight tights when he dances. The last time I saw him dance I was in front row center.

HELEN: With your eyes focused on one spot through the entire performance, right?

LORNA:. I didn't see any other dances at all. I have a photograph of Rudolph Nureyev, a color 8 by 10, just a portrait of his face. It was in the program book of the last ballet I went to see that he danced. And I've framed it and hung it in my dressing room. And I swear to god, not only did it make me horny every time I looked at it, but every time a girlfriend came over I walked through my dressing room and she's saying, "My god, who's that?"

HELEN: He does have a great ass.

QUESTION: Any other famous people fantasized? Suzi?

SUZI: Just George Harrison.

QUESTION: Why that particular Beatle?

SUZI: Because he fulfills my love of tall, lanky, long-legged hungry-looking guys.

QUESTION: Have you ever fantasized balling the whole group at the same time? Or any rock group? SUZI: No.

HELEN: Speaking of famous people, I think I fantasized balling John Lennon a couple of times. Because I had this boyfriend once who looked very much like John Lennon. I was on acid at the time and I kinda tripped on him he looked like John Lennon. He obliged of course. He didn't know I was fantasizing that he was John Lennon. We were pretty quiet lovers. We wouldn't say anything that was out of character, or anything like that.

QUESTION: We started this off with Suzi's gorilla. Has anybody else here ever fantasized balling another species of animal, other than human?

MARTHA: I have a fish.

CAROL: So have I. I balled a horse the other night.

QUESTION: You balled a horse?

CAROL: Yes. I was balling my old man when I fantasized the horse. It was just a fantasy that just came upon me, and I just had to flow with it.

QUESTION: Okay, what position were you in?

CAROL: He my old man was on top of me.

QUESTION: And where were you?

CAROL: And I was underneath him, of course. And the horse in the fantasy. I was underneath the horse too, and I was holding on around him, and the horse was galloping along and his galloping was doing most of the work, I just kinda hung on. And his tail kept rubbing me in the ass, which felt good.

SUZI: Oh, flagellation, huh? Have I got a book for you! It's got a great passage in it-it always made me horny about a mongol army coming in and raping this German village and forcing ... this is one of the parts of my other fantasies, one of the guys was fucking a girl on the back of the horse. A couple of the other guys were forcing the girl under the horse for the horse to fuck. That's more than a triad, that's one, two, three, four. And one of them got it into his horse, even.

LORNA: That's quadripederasty.

MARTHA: I used to have one about being a white dove, having a white dove ball me. That's one thing I also want to be reincarnated as a white dove. You're balling, and you're balling while you're flying, which is really....

CAROL: I fantasized once being a bird being balled by another bird. Eagles or condors or something like that. I'm a big bird fan.

QUESTION: Have you ever fantasized still being a human female being balled by another species? like a German shepherd.

MARTHA: Yes. I have, but not by a German shepherd, an Australian shepherd. I used to always fantasize on that.

HELEN: How was it?

MARTHA: Strange, because I always wanted to reach back and kiss it.

QUESTION: What position were you in? MARTHA: He was on my back.

HELEN: Dog fashion, of course.

MARTHA: Uh-huh. And he was licking me and I was usually either laying down or, sitting like, with my knees on the ground, and sitting straight up, sitting, standing on my knees really. And I always wanted to reach back, and kiss him, but my neck wouldn't turn and I used to get so frustrated, it was really a bummer.

SUZI: Funny things go wrong at times.

MARTHA: Another thing, I have always fantasized balling a bear.

CAROL: So have I.

MARTHA: A big, beautiful gigantic black bear comes and just balls the hell out of me, and every time he comes down really hard I'm being pushed farther down into nonexistence, and like the whole feel of his weight on me is sorta like he is taking part of me and putting it in him, instead of part of him putting it in me.

CAROL: My fantasy with a bear was much more pleasant than that. It's a grizzly bear instead of a black bear. Grizzly bears are bigger and I like the size.

QUESTION: How do you ball a fish?

CAROL: Yeah, I gotta find this one out.

MARTHA: It's really strange. The fish is like an angel fish. I love angel fish. We're both angel fish. He is a little bigger than I am. He's white and turquoise. He's always white and turquoise.' I'm either black and turquoise, or orange and turquoise. Which is really strange. Your facing opposite directions, you just come in and meet.

QUESTION: With your tails?

MARTHA: Uh huh. And that's balling a fish.

QUESTION: Is that how angel fish ball?

MARTHA: I don't know. I've never seen an angel fish ball.

CAROL: I think so, I think so.

MARTHA: But that's how I fantasized it.

CAROL: That's how my guppies ball.

MARTHA: With another fish, usually a gold fish licking over my body and sucking on my body.

QUESTION: Yeah, I would never have imagined that in a million years. Thank you. Did you ever ball an eel? Or a snake?

HELEN: No, I don't think I'd want to. I don't like snakes ... I like the way they look, but I just wouldn't want to ball one.

QUESTION: Have you balled an octopus?

MARTHA: That was part of my balling underwater.

QUESTION: How about a sea horse? MARTHA: No, no. QUESTION: Um-hum

MARTHA: I've always imagined um, riding a sea horse and coming at the same time.

CAROL: That's very Freudian.

MARTHA: Having a octopus ball you is something else.

QUESTION: Yeah, tell me about balling the octopus.

MARTHA: Oh, balling the octopus was really far out it was kinda interesting cause he had his head, no matter what happened, he had his head between my legs the same time he was fucking me.

QUESTION: How was he holding you?

MARTHA: His arms just tied me down. I was being forced and his arms just completely tied me down. I couldn't move. And his tentacles were going over me, sorta grabbing hold of my skin ... suck, suck, suck ... like that, all over. like suctioning, you know? like a gigantic plunger or something going over my body which gives you a good rush, but god, by the time I got done thinking about it I looked all over my body because I thought that all the time he's doing that he was giving me hickies all over...

QUESTION: Helen, have you ever fantasized balling a member of some non-human species?

HELEN: Not seriously. I've had bestial thoughts here and there, though. I'm sorta hung up on horses for a while, but you can hardly call it hung up. Just an occasional thought, "Gee, wow, wonder what that would feel like," and then, uh, eccch. I always stop short. It's never been a major thing, I've never had a thing for a dog or anything like that.

CAROL: I've balled horses, I've balled dogs and cats and Martians. My favorite fantasy, when I was young, was balling beings from outer space. Somebody would come down from Mars or something like that, and carry me off and we'd end up balling.

QUESTION: What did he look like?

CAROL: Oh god, I had so many different looking Martians, I've had the typical green Martians that everybody talks about in pictures and movies, and all that shit.

QUESTION: How many heads? How many arms, legs, whatever? Did it have tentacles?

CAROL: All of this happened mainly in my great science fiction period, and I kept changing their shapes. Sometimes they'd look human, sometimes like the most bizarre thing you could imagine would land down usually in my back yard or in my neighborhood. In one way or another I would meet them, either because the rest of the neighborhood and the rest of the area were against them and I would make friends with them, or they would kidnap me and take me away to wherever they were hiding. If they kidnapped me, then they raped me. If they made friends with me, I balled them voluntarily.

QUESTION: Did the fate of Earth ever hinge upon how good a ball you were?

CAROL: Not that I can remember. I always felt sorry for them because nobody ever liked them. Everybody was out to kill them. That's usually why I made friends with them. And the people had absolutely no reason to kill them.

QUESTION: Helen, have you ever fantasized balling an alien?

HELEN: No. I'm afraid I've never got quite that far into science fiction, except for maybe wanting to ball Mr. Spock. He's the only alien for me.

MARTHA: My alien was short, he was shorter than I. He was a short little greenish brown dude, whatever you want to call him. One night a couple a friends and I were talking about forcible rape, and we thought that an ugly, grotesque Martian that no chick would go out with so he had to come to Earth to rape someone would be about the eccchiest we could find. So after we made Mr. Martian up, any time any of us balled a guy with a gigantic cock we told the others that we had balled Mr. Martian. He is so big and nice we all made fantasies up about him. He had a greenish brown glow from his transparent skin, and when you look at him it looks like he has water going through his body all the time. His body is beautiful ... he has long rubbery arms and where the elbow is they stretch and at the ends of the arms there are big hands about the size of a baseball glove. His fingers look like little cocks. Just talking about this gets me horny.

QUESTION: And what did you do with this semi-transparent, greenish brown dude?

MARTHA: Ball him, of course. He has the most beautiful cock. Nice and thick and long. Once he gets it inside you the cock does all the work, he doesn't have to use any pounding and pushing to move it around, 'cause it contracts when he wants it to and then when he fills you full of come, his come keeps you alive forever.

HELEN: What a Martian. Maybe I'll get into aliens after all.

LORNA: When I fantasize an alien I concentrate on all the things you could do with alien bodies that you can't do with human bodies. like regulate the temperature drastically and the texture changing all the time, going from solid to liquid to gas, and electric, and non-electric, and thousands of protuberances in all the right places and indentations and aliens that had cocks and tits and cunts and asses and mouths, everything you could ever want to be doing things to your body.

QUESTION: Did you read Theodore Sturgeon's Venus Plus XI

LORNA: No.

QUESTION: All of his aliens in that one were hermaphroditic, so when they would ball, penis A goes into vagina B, and penis B goes into vagina A simultaneously. I forgot whether or not they have four orgasms.

LORNA: It seems to me that's kind of silly, man. If you're going to imagine sex with an alien, why limit it to a slight variation of the human? I mean I don't fantasize about balling any other life form besides humans that are present on this planet. I mean if I'm going to fantasize about some other life form to ball it's going to be completely different.

***

And so it should be, agreed the others. The great advantage fantasy has over reality is that it can easily transcend the limitations of existing flesh, that it can be ever-changing, constantly evolving to satisfy the purely human craving for novelty. All of the women taking part in this tape-recorded sex fantasy rap session credited their ability to fantasize with vastly enriching their own sex lives and, either by exposure to or by open participation in their fantasies, with enriching the erotic experiences of the men and women with whom they usually engaged in coitus.

Significantly, each of them had been, to a greater or lesser degree, indoctrinated with this culture's official anti-sexual system of "moral" values, which again to varying degrees each had more or less overcome.

PART II

Realities

It used to be assumed that the housewife would stay home and do the cooking and housework dutifully. However, our changing technology and moral standards have resulted in a marked increase of adultery among married women. The practice of cheating has been common and diverse in the male since time began, but the emergence of the female adulteress marks an important crossroad in human history.

The housewife of today is being influenced by the general revolutionary theme of women's liberation. She no longer feels she must feed the male ego and go along with his infidelity. She is becoming more aware that independence is the key to her social and sexual freedom. More and more women are entering professional fields proving that they can handle a "man's" job.

The double-standard taken for granted by men since Adam, is being legitimately questioned by the new woman of today. Most men are feeling the pressure associated with their illicit affairs, especially if they demand fidelity of their wives. Why should women put up with such a double-standard? Many feel that if their husbands can do it, they are completely within their rights to have an affair with the repairman, or neighbor, or whomever they desire. Because of this viewpoint, the American housewife is enjoying an unprecedented range of sexual freedom. This trend was predicted by the Kinsey studies in the mid fifties. The high incidence of extramarital affairs were found to be disrupting to marital and family stability. More than half of the men and a quarter of the women appeared to be having intercourse with other partners besides their married spouse. This information was the result of Kinsey's investigations in the early fifties. The percentages have jumped enormously in the seventies. Kinsey early maintained that the male would increase his sexual promiscuity if there were no restrictions, because he felt the male need the variety of sexual experiences both inside and outside of marriage. However, the female (regarded as passive and "stupid" by many husbands) finally reached the point of enlightenment. The fears of disrupting the marriage and therefore her security have lessened in recent years.

The matter of security is surely a matter of concern with many of the older married females who catch their husbands in an adulterous affair, or let themselves commit adultery.

In an appraisal of the first two Kinsey reports, Jerome Himelhoch and Sylvia Fleisfaua state in Sexual Behavior in American Society: "Can marital stability be maintained in the face of extramarital relations on the part of the husband or wife? There are some couples where the wife accepts the husband's occasional or regular lapses from fidelity, and the home a family life remain intact, but such acceptance is rare. It has been our experience in marriage counseling that extramarital relations are disruptive of marital harmony. A relation which may begin as a contact on a purely physical level, may soon develop into a strong emotional attachment. Not many marriages can long withstand the strain of divided loyalties and attention. Of all the angles in a marriage, the triangle creates the most acute problems" (Jerome Himelhoch and Sylvia Fleisfaua, Sexual Behavior in American Society, Norton and Co., New York, 1955)

So where does this new perspective on sexual practices and behavior lead the middle-aged woman? Her position is probably the most frustrating in that she has age going against her. Her younger counterparts are to be assured of numerous sexual adventures because of their youth and beauty. The aging housewife who wants to get even with her adulteress husband may resort to all kinds of methods to consummate an illicit affair. This may include breaking the modern home appliances that are supposed to free her of housework drudgery. The repairman will be discussed in a later section as one of the prime satisfiers of the sexual needs of the female adulteress.

One of the amazing facts concerning the human animal is his ability to rationalize his behavior. And this rationalization is especially noticeable in the area of heterosexual relationships. The individuals who advance the reasons why extramarital sex should be permitted exhibit an inclination to the concept of "sexual freedom." Some men and women argue that to place restrictions on one mate deprives that mate's right to enrich his sex life through variety of sexual objects. In the latter years of marriage, some say that extramarital affairs are needed to give the marriage extra zing and reinforcement. The positive use of guilt will make the adulterous mate more considerate. And another common viewpoint is that no individual has the right to impose a strict policy of possessiveness, even though it is legally sanctioned.

The fact remains that rationalizations such as the above have always and will continue to be used by individuals who find their marriages faltering in one degree or another. It could be that the wife is unable to enjoy sex because of strict religious background which prohibits her from seeing the beauty of sex. The wife may be the castrating type, whom Freud referred to as the woman with "penis envy." On the other hand, the male may be either impotent, immature, neurotic or merely sexually inept. Whatever the reasons, the matter of adultery has increased steadily in the last twenty years, particularly female adultery.

What are the consequences of adultery? The first risk that should be considered is dissolution of the marriage. If a man came home early from work and found his wife in bed with the paper boy, he would be within his legal rights to shoot the intruder and may get off if he shot his wife. This rather radical dissolution is hardly unprecedented but gets sticky because the act of adultery is becoming much more common today and the courts views regarding justified homicide may well be altering with the changing times. One of the other ways to terminate a marriage on the grounds of adultery is divorce, a practice extremely widespread. In fact there has been a lot of discussion concerning the present American "custom" of serial polygamy in which a man is married to many women in his lifetime. Such a practice becomes expensive, however, and the alimony required to support three or four wives may be a limiting factor on the adulterous male.

The history of adultery has been discussed by Richard Lewinsohn in his book, A History of Sexual Customs. In it he states: " ... No legal code has yet succeeded in preventing adultery. In the oldest historical times a woman committing adultery hazarded her life. About the sixth century B.C. civilized countries abandoned this draconian punishment and devised milder penalties. In most countries, too, the crass disproportion in the penalties incurred for adultery by the two sexes was gradually reduced. In Rome it was in practice equally easy for either partner to divorce the other for infidelity. The absolute prohibition of divorce goes farther still. In a way it overshoots the mark, for it can lead to the guilty party's escaping scot free while the injured husband or wife is forced to continue living in wedlock with the unfaithful partner." (Richard Lewinsohn, A History of Sexual Customs, Bell Pub. Co. Inc., New York, 1956).

The absolute prohibition of divorce that was evident in early Christian societies has been replaced by the relaxed attitude of the seventies which is embodied in the viewpoint: if two people can't get it together, then they should separate. This separation can include a legal divorce, or, as is becoming more prevalent, a simple agreement between the married couple to "Live and let live." Many males are justifiably horrified at the thought of divorce because of the financial obligations occasioned by a high settlement in favor of the wife. If both partners are adulterous, however, this eases the tensions considerably in that both are parties to infidelity. The erring wife who strays from the marriage bed is becoming more common.

And, she often assures herself that her husband initiated the infidelity and because of this is justified in seeking new sexual outlets.

The fact remains that extramarital sex is often a dangerous game that can adversely affect the lives of the married and especially their children (who are the most tragic victims of the adulterous couple). This danger is all too often countered by the view that "I have my own life to lead. I have a right to be happy." This viewpoint does have validity, but the question of who is being affected by an adulterous affair often makes for a "guilty" conscience and rightfully so. Let us consider some of the environmental and sociological factors involved with the female adulteress.

Psychological, Social and Environmental Factors

The liberation of the contemporary housewife has been paved by a variety of circumstances and historical precedents. One of the most significant factors is the revolutionized home life of the married woman. She has literally been freed of the heavy labor once experienced by her predecessors. The tasks of household chores have been reduced through the technology explosion. Vacuum cleaners and the gamut of household aids and devices have left the housewife with an unprecedented amount of free "recreational" time. During the last forty years the proliferation of gadgets to aid the housewife, including easy to clean plastics and synthetics, have had the effect of unleashing a new population of semi-idle females. The modern woman of today purchases an incredible volume of prepackaged and precooked foods. All these advances of technology has given the female housewife more leisure hours. The question of how she will occupy this extra time is the root of the current problem termed appropriately, the crisis of the female adulteress.

Kinsey found a correlation that involved extramarital affairs and education in his studies in the fifties. College-educated women were more adulterous than women with only grade school educations. His findings also pointed to a high correlation between the frequency of adulterous behavior and the decade of a woman's birth. The infidelity rate was decidedly higher for women born more recently into this century. One could assume from this information that in city and suburban circles where many women are recently married and college-educated, there is an extremely high rate of infidelity. This may be upwards of fifty percent if some research estimates are accurate.

As an environmental concern, many feel that city life contributes a great deal to infidelity. It must be acknowledged that there is a certain anonymity occasioned by a large urban surrounding that makes secret arrangements plausible and practical. Dr. Leon Salzman has suggested that city infidelity may be even more widespread than the suburban type. He feels that in the city, women are more involved outside the home and therefore have more occasions to meet potential lovers and strangers.

As far as female adultery is concerned, few married women carry on affairs with friends of their husbands or neighbors. Such a practice would be too risky to their social stature and most prefer to have lovers outside of family concerns.

Some married women meet men while attending college at night, which also gives them a great excuse for going out of the house, often at night. In such cases, the husband can even be held responsible for baby sitting the children while the mother goes to her astronomy class and "cuddles" with a fellow classmate. Many women complain that it is difficult to meet available and interested sexual partners outside of marriage but one woman has commented on her technique in a recent article in Cosmopolitan: " ... A librarian told me, 'Most women complain that the biggest problem is finding men, decent men. But I never run out of ways of finding them. Since I have no intention of ever leaving my husband, I'm perfectly content with one-night stands. So all it takes is imagination. Some men I just get to talking to where I work. Sometimes it's a neighbor. If a guy around here helps me home with packages I always ask him up for a drink, and one thing leads to another. You know, everyone's on the search. Sometimes I write letters to guys I want to meet. If I read an article in some professional publications, like Publications of the Modern Language Association, I write to the author and tell him how much I liked the article and if he's ever in New York, could he contact me so we could discuss the fine points. Its amazing how many academic types will respond to this. I've had five affairs that began through this sort of correspondence." (Linda Wolfe, "Can Adultery Save Your Marriage?", Cosmopolitan, Jan. 1973)

Kinsey found that extramarital sex was often performed under conditions superior to those of premarital sex because the partners are already accustomed to the comforts of space and privacy in sexual relations. Many women use their own homes while the husband is away at work. The following example, also from Cosmopolitan, illustrates the environment that often surrounds extramarital activity on the female adulteress: " ... We actually use my apartment, while my baby is napping. It's been going on for a year and a half now, and since the baby was six months old he's been napping every afternoon for a good three hours. I put him down at noon, and my lover arrives, checking by phone first, at about one. He's on his lunch hours, but he works at one of these understanding places and he's told them he has therapy twice a week and will be gone a bit long. So he gets here by one, we stay in bed till about two. Then we have a drink and I fix him a sandwich which he has in the taxi going back to work.

His wife works and he is almost never sick. But he was afraid the elevator man might get suspicious seeing him come home in the middle of the day to say something to his wife. He feels that no one would suspect me, what with my baby, and my going in and out with the stroller and bottles all day. Even the dirtiest old elevator man would have to rub his eyes and scratch his head before making that assumption." (Cosmopolitan, Jan. 1973)

The previous example clearly points to the rising dilemma of the female adulteress. In what other age could a mother make love to an adulterer in the same room, while her baby napped, and without any feelings of guilt?

The changing attitudes concerning justification for adultery are greatly affected by the disillusioned female in marriage. Many of her hopes for a "Kingdom" in which she was the reigning "Queen" quickly dissipated after the honeymoon. As the marriage progressed, the chances for extreme differences (many regarding sex) were both common and human. And so, many women find themselves today in a touchy position that demands positive and constructive action. This position is often due to a total lack of communication between the male and female. The man, if he is the typical neurotic-business-type, will come home from the office with all his worries and anxieties. Unable to divorce himself from the concerns of money (needed to provide for the welfare of himself and his family) he is curt with his wife and they start arguing about unrelated and meaningless trivia. This will undoubtedly lead to harsh feelings which in turn lead to no sex that night. And the circle may remain unbroken for increasing periods as a marriage is often first occasioned by the husband who finds his wife just doesn't "turn him on anymore," or "can't get into sex with me." There is an increasing number however, who are females asking questions life: "Why doesn't my husband have any sex drive?, " or "I know he's cheating, so why shouldn't I?" It is precisely the latter rationale that is providing the turning point in thinking responsible for the blatant increase in female adultery.

But for all those who blame sexual deprivation, there are still others who are unfaithful and experience sexual satisfaction from their husbands. Many women prefer infidelity as a means of "revitalizing their psyches." It is seen by many as an antidote for depression.

The obvious anger of the adulterous woman can be caused by the diverse responsibilities of child-care. And an offshoot of this is the husband who devotes more time to his children than his wife. This rather common occurrence has a variety of deep psychological implications. For one, he may have latent narcissistic tendencies that give him great pleasure when he looks at his son, the image of himself. Even more marked, is the tendency for the father to see his wife recreated in his daughter, the epitome of youth and basis for erotic incestual feelings.

No matter how it is approached, the matter of female adultery is becoming discussed more and more openly. This openness is also causing a reaction in the males. The ego-shattering consequence of learning one's wife is "making it with some stud" can be devastating. Because we have an incredibly wellingrained double-standard system, an affair behind a man's back is all the more shocking. It didn't matter that he was having an affair with the secretary. His wife has "NO RIGHT" to do this to him.

But the female adulteress of today is getting more flagrant in her search for sexual identity. She is truly becoming more aggressive, and this is evidenced by the recent trend of openness, regarding the discussion of extramarital affairs among adulterous women. Sometimes the conversations reach the stage of bragging, not unlike the man of old who would exaggerate the variety and number of sexual conquests.

"Still, the need for bragging or assistance would never be fulfilled, and no confidences would be exchanged, were it not for one crucial factor. Women friends can be trusted. In part of this is because while they may bear no grudge toward the adulteress's husband, some women do feel a weighty chip on their shoulders toward the male world, which for centuries has used adultery as a way of handling its private life. But even more, women friends can be trusted because many of them are sentimental about children or family life." (Cosmopolitan, Jan. 1973)

Closeness and intimacy are real ways of dealing with insecurity. Because it is the insecure woman who seeks out scores of adulterous affairs for the sole purpose of satisfying her ego, it is quite possible that this woman may never have had a bond of true friendship with her initial spouse. But most women can and do achieve sexual release during adulterous affairs and therefore get a benefit that would be impossible to achieve if they are being deprived by their husbands. However, this deprivation may be the result of fears about rejection. The female may be the initiator of marital fighting which makes the husband too uptight to relax and "give in" to those sexual desires he feels for his wife (but is not allowed to express because of pride) and therefore looks elsewhere of sexual reward. For similar reasons the female may be driven to sexual promiscuity.

There is a natural tendency for "sex deceptions" to occur in a new or old marriage. The most common form of deception is the faking of orgasms, which women can easily perform. They are also believable in their fakery because most men would rather be deceived than face up to the problem of sexual inadequacy.

In the book, The Intimate Enemy, the negative aspects of sex deception are discussed: "Except for its occasional value in heightening erotic excitement, sex-faking is more than an energy-waster and tension-producer. Worse, it creates the kind of misplaced good will and tactfulness that stimulates counter-faking. Soon the entire intimate system can be infected by phoniness that can always be rationalized as a 'concern for the feelings of others.' It also creates a backlash of mistrust, because even the most artful sex-fakers are found out by their partners, later if not sooner. How? The faker may get tired of the burden. Or he may not care what happens and spill the secret. Or he may want to provoke the partner into extreme anger. Or he feels he can hold the partner regardless. Or he feels he can do without full response." (Dr. George R. Bach and Ronald M. Deutsch, The Intimate Enemy, Avon, 1968)

Of course the prime motivator of marital fighting is the adulterous affair. The wife learns of her husband's infidelity and is shaken emotionally. She may simply let the incident pass, but chances are she will either confront her husband directly (which is more mature) or else initiate her own affair. These moves for strategy are often referred to as sex games. Sex games can be played in a variety of ways but often have something to do with resentment, money, domination, nagging, thoughtlessness or any other number of problems that one would assume could be dealt with openly by adults. The immature or insecure individual may see himself unable to cope with the demands of facing up to a problem. In the place of disclosure, the spouse may express the resentment by involuntarily losing interest in the spouse or making love in a detached manner. The waning sexual drive may take the form of statements like: "I'm not feeling well tonight," or "The weekend can be a real opportunity, but not now, I have to get up early."

One of the games which is the most malicious is that played by the wife who sexually teases her husband all through the evening and just when they are ready to hit the sex bed, brings up a touchy issue that upsets him and leads to an argument and more importantly, NO SEX. Another off-shoot of this is the individual who remembers some important chore that must be done and will be over too late for the couple to have sex. Researchers have recognized that the TV is currently providing an obvious substitute for sex. The wife who is angry at her husband will turn on the switch saying, "Oh, I've been waiting for this return to come on for such a long time. Honey, do you mind if I watch it?"

To many, however, marital infidelity is the main way to get revenge on a spouse. Morton Hunt in an article entitled "Sex Games Married People Play," in Family Circle, has discussed the implications of adultery as a weapon of revenge:

" ... To be sure, many unfaithful husbands and wives are not playing games but seeking reassurance, sex or affection missing in their marriages. But a substantial minority of the unfaithful, as I found in a survey on my own, are primarily seeking to get even with their mates; their infidelities are games, for the goal is something other than it seems to be."

Hunt goes on in the article to discuss how some mates make sure their partner finds out about their affair so as to maximize the hurt. While some may accidentally drop hints or clues, Hunt said others become increasingly obvious about their strange hours and absences and a few confess in a burst of tears. "But the most abject and penitent confessor may be the most sadistic of all. One woman I recently interviewed told me that her ex-husband insisted on confessing his infidelities at length in order to abase and humiliate himself and so managed to tell her every physical detail of his extramarital lovemaking, although hearing these details was excruciatingly painful to her. (But she, in passively listening, may have been playing her own neurotic game she may have been accepting suffering from having failed, as she thought, to be an adequate wife.)" (Morton Hunt, "Sex Games Married People Play," Family Circle, pp. 108-9, 10I72)

There are a variety of similar conditions that tend to make the female feel she is justified in seeking extramarital sexual outlets. One of these is the "I knew it" syndrome in which the wife suggests lovemaking at a very inopportune time; say, when the husband is overloaded with work from the office. She knows he will refuse and when he says, "Can't right now, dear" she takes it as a personal blow. She may say to herself, "I knew he wouldn't do anything for me. He doesn't love me." She will then feel justified in her own mind if she goes out and has an affair. She often reasons, "I have to get satisfaction somewhere."

When a couple is playing sexual games, they must be extremely careful, because although there are some benefits, there is a large cost factor. Morton Hunt, quoted previously has said, " ... game playing is a faulty adaptation to one's emotional problems rather than a genuine solution to them; a make-do way of living and loving; an indirect, dishonest and generally hurtful way of getting along with one's self and one's mate. Sexual game players gain something by their maneuvers and deceits, but pay for it with very much of the joy, love and fulfillment that could be theirs if they dealt with themselves and each other directly and straight-forwardly." (Family Circle, p. 112*)

Sexual boredom and the deprived mate

We have found in our discussion of the female adulteress, a variety of reasons why she considers herself justified in seeking out extramarital relationships. Let us presently examine the question of sexual boredom and how the wife is left sexually unfulfilled.

"One of the main reasons for a decline in sexual performance of the aging male is boredom with his mate. This is described by Masters and Johnson as 'probably the most constant factor in the loss of aging male's interest in sexual performance with his partner.' ... Craving for a new partner, the elderly male dreams of young girls, hoping to absorb from their bodies some vitalizing elixir. Inhalation of the breath of young girls was a method used by the ancients in the quest of rejuvenation." (Robert S. DeRopp, Sex Energy, Delacorte Press, N.Y., 1969)

Dr. David Reuben has discussed the sexually deprived wife in a chapter from his book, Any Woman Can. He notes the fact that many women get married to have sex and find that once they are in the confines of a married situation their sexual drives are being deprived. Dr. Reuben has outlined six danger signals that should be suspicious to the deprived female.

"I. "Too tired' at bedtime to do anything but drop off to sleep.

2. Fascination with the late late movie on television which keeps him up until his wife is safely in dreamland.

3. An unusual interest in his job requiring overtime, night work, or extended trips.

4. A preference for twin beds after several years of sleeping in a double bed.

5. Sudden criticism of his wife's sexual responses.

6. Subtle neglect of his personal appearance." (Dr. David Reuben, Any Woman Can)

Dr. Reuben goes on to describe the "sexually marooned" wife who desires sex more often than her husband will give it to her. If ungratified, many women may feel that their relationship with their husband is disintegrating and feel a desire to establish a fresh relationship.

As a relief from sexual boredom, the sexually deprived wife may resort to vicarious sexual adventures in the daily soap operas. Most of these deal with infidelity and other typical problems of the married woman. The possibility of identification with the actresses is a very real one, and many married women get the needed push into adultery through the exploits of their "heroines" on the TV daily serials.

There is also a tremendous influence on the modern housewife through the mass media. Bombarded daily with thousands of advertising messages, many of which outline sex and desired goals of happiness, the potential adulteress can become neurotic and nervous about the "ideals" of sex. Even the soap and detergent advertisements get heavily involved with innuendo's of the repairman and the housewife. As her skirt blows gently up her knee on television, the female audience sees the serviceman smile happily. Visions of illicit sexual encounters race through the minds of many bored housewives as they see this kind of display. Some kid among themselves about the repairman myth, but others are having illicit affairs in their own homes.

For the sake of illustration, let's see some of the possible repairmen who might come to the door of a frustrated housewife. Telephone installers and repairmen are the guaranteed male entrants into a home. The wife has to let this man in because he is on official business. Is there any real need to take the extra time to put on a robe? Many first time repairmen for the telephone company are shocked after their first day of work. There is always at least one case of near-nude women answering the door. Some women go so far as to purposely rip out the phone in their bedroom so the telephone man will come in and get a chance to see them in enticing surroundings. The fact that there are many new recruits at the phone company may be an indication that it is a "tiring" occupation.

Other traditional male callers include delivery boys, paper boys, mailmen and the whole list of repairmen: TV, electrical, gas company, plumbing, carpentry, drapery, flooring and anything else that needs repair in a household. It is becoming increasingly common for the "wife-repairman" to be calling for "handy work."

Many of the repairmen are thoroughly trained and skillful in their work and have great physical stamina. Many of these blue collar workers are more oriented towards non-verbal behavior and this fact has a lot to do with their preference of sex to coffee breaks. The female adulteress may have had some difficulty in dispelling erotic desires when she first experienced the multitude of strange men in her home. As years progress, and potential experiences become evident to her, the mere fact that scores of available men are coming in contact with her will often culminate in the adulterous union. Many women who had no previous plans for seduction may see an erotic possibility and remember the evening before when their husband went to sleep without satisfying the woman's sexual needs.

The female adulteress has been taken into account by the designers of home appliances, who for obvious profit reasons, design home aids for a specific number of trouble free years, usually one or two. After that time, the guarantee runs out and the woman is at the mercy of time, for it will be only a matter of it before the washer or dryer or whatnot breaks down. A curious offshoot of this is the established adulteress who has had many repairmen affairs and is breaking different appliances around the house so that the sexual opportunities will present themselves.

Despite all the emphasis put on the repairman, the real reason for the female adulteress's existence is dissatisfaction with their husbands. The recent high inflationary period, a condition which often follows the wind-down of any war, has seen the savings and spending power of the American consumer slowly eaten away. This has placed an extra burden upon supporting males to work harder to get that needed buck to counter inflation. The wife may be resentful that the husband is not able to provide them with the things they once dreamed of, but now seem so far away.

Her dissatisfaction may truly stem from the aforementioned topic of sexual deprivation. This deprivation is most often caused by a malfunctioning of the most important sexual organ of them all, thought by Reuben to be the mind. In Any Woman Can, he states:

" ... If the penis and vagina were somehow disconnected from the brain, copulation would be mechanical, uninteresting and probably very efficient. Erection, ejaculation, and simultaneous orgasm could occur automatically according to schedule. But it wouldn't any fun. The only part of sex that has any potential for human happiness is the part that goes on above the eyebrows. Ironically, that's the same place that sexual satisfaction can be sabotaged. When the sexual function of human beings is taken over by the unconscious mind (and sometimes the conscious mind) and forged into a weapon, any chance of happiness goes down the drain. If the penis becomes the sword and the vagina the bear trap, then sexual intercourse becomes a case of making war, not love." (Any Woman Can, p. 124)

The human rationale is more than often responsible for adultery. A woman thinks a man she once loved is turning to other women. Or she is simply bored with a mediocre sex life. The important thing is that she "thinks" or he "thinks" that something is wrong with their current relationship and they simply won't come out in the open and discuss the problem. In many cases, even if they discussed it, the lack of communication may be such that anger and thoughtlessness take over the situation. When this happens one of the mates will jump up and split. The fact that children and other's feelings may be involved makes no difference. If some people get their egos hurt in even a small way, they can retaliate or cope with the situation only by running away. The "absent" father is the first thing that comes to mind. Welfare offices have file cabinets stuffed with names of fathers who just got up and left an entire family. The blacks are experiencing a special problem in this area and it has led to a definable and observable polarization between the black man and the black woman.

However, our discussion is focusing on the female adulteress and it would do well to examine a growing phenomenon in America known as the "Runaway Wife." We have already discussed in some detail, a number of reasons why a female may become disillusioned with her marriage, husband and sex life. This disillusion may become such that she takes the radical move of total departure. She finds her husband is a man she wouldn't really want to meet, her children are brats and the house is depressing. In 1972 more than forty thousand housewives left their families to opt for a new life and identity.

The woman who decides to go on this search late in life has a number of disadvantages. She has lost much of her youth and beauty, and she must strive to retain and cultivate what is left, for this is the most obvious, though not most necessary, resource. She knows she doesn't have much time.

In the search to find herself, she is anxiously awaiting the first adulterous affair. It is quite possible she got her taste of other men when she invited the delivery boy in for a cup of tea. Many of the older married women are strongly attracted to young boys, especially the type that goes door to door with advertisements or publication subscriptions. This is an entire area in itself and before we go into the very diverse matter of general adulteress's as runaways, let's examine the female adulteress pedophile.

The term pedophilia is a deviation that involves sexual relations with a young child who has not yet reached the age of puberty. The word literally means, "Love of children." The legal definition encompasses the adult and child in sexual activity of any nature. The minor in this case is pre-and post-puberty. The law is very strict and harsh with this type of sex offender, who for statutory rape can serve sentences upwards of twenty years. It doesn't make any difference that there was consent of the minor, his aggression or complicity. Any sexual contact with a minor is statutory rape. One can see that by the legal statutes, (as with sodomy) a great percentage of our population should be put in prison for deviant behavior. It is a known fact that in sections of Northern Africa and in India, child-adult physical sexual relation are not at all uncommon. And incest is not given to taboo so strictly even considering it is of the father-daughter or mother-son variety. The many archaic and unrealistic laws of Western society have been passed by in a rapidly changing sociological environment.

The female adulteress pedophile was extremely rare twenty years ago. Sophisticated investigations point out that the incidence of female pedophilia is equal to the male predisposition. The one big difference is that most males are jailed for their "crime against society" while women remain virtually ignored. Few women have ever served in jail because of their adulterous affairs with young boys. The double-standard in favor of women in this case allows most convicted female pedophiles to have their sentence commuted to psychiatric treatment. This bias has been arrived at by men who thought the possibility of an older woman doing this would be improbable and to some, impossible. Freud was quick to point out that most pedophiles are men," and most males in American society are convinced that the American mother could not entertain the perverse thoughts of pedophilia. After all, they were getting the best sexual satisfaction from their husbands.

This view is, of course, ludicrous, and the sooner the American male realizes that he is not nearly the sexual giant he thinks he is, the greater the understanding that will occur between the sexes.

In the Encyclopedia of Human Behavior, the psychological picture of the female adulterous pedophile becomes clearer. Her motivations and feelings are described in the following excerpt: "Pedophiliacs are particularly afflicted with anxiety regarding their sexual potency. like the rapists, the pedophiliac is not a hyper-sexed individual, but one whose sexual impulses are distorted by crippling anxiety. A large number give histories of impotence or partial impotence. It is evident that the pedophiliac's inferiority feelings lead him to search for younger and less formidable love objects whose ignorance would prevent his deficiency from becoming obvious. The child sexual object saves the offender's ego from blows which might prove destructive to his mental equilibrium..."

The frustrated female adulteress finds herself wondering what sex would be like with a young boy. This possibility especially appeals to her insecurities about her attractiveness to a mature man. She may be the dominant type that will order the young boy to gratify her every desire, which may include oralism and vibrators. Whatever type she may be, the adulteress who is a worrier, advancing in age, and waning in sexual capabilities is predisposed to seeking sexual relief with young boys or men of limited sexual knowledge. To these inexperienced males, the pedophile has a sophistication and general feeling of aura that makes the individual seem like a sexual giant. This is precisely the female wish, if she has despised her husband and felt inadequate to men of the proper age and experience. The failures of the past seem quite distant when the pedophile is soaking up the praise of a young boy.

"The aberration usually develops as an attempt on the part of the pedophile to cope with a fear of failure in normal interpersonal and heterosexual relationships, especially with a sexually experienced adult, or to satisfy a narcissistic love of him, or herself as a child. Efforts to rehabilitate pedophiles through psychotherapy have shown promising results, although some of them become recidivists. A prison sentence, however, does little by way of altering the subsequent behavior of sexual deviates, although society is, of course protected from them during their term of imprisonment..." (James Leslie McCary, Human Sexuality, p. 35)

It must be realized that the female adulteress pedophile is to a major degree affected by her socio-economic position. A wealthy adulteress would seek the services of a young boy for a different reason than the poor, overworked housewife. Different behavioral patterns are sure to exist. Attitudes and motivations are the key issues involved in understanding the female adulteress pedophile.

The aging wealthy woman has a number of problems and advantages not accorded her poorer sister. They will both however, be experiencing a general decline in sexual energy, strength and the other facts that contribute to aging. Of course, the wealthy woman will retain her youth longer than the poor woman in most cases because she eats better food and doesn't have twelve children to care for; the maids take care of that. This makes the wealthy adulteress much more prone to be sexually promiscuous with young boys. More often, the woman in her late forties and early fifties will opt for a young man in his twenties. However, when they move out of the young age grouping, they increase their chances for discovery, because paid lovers are almost always the case in the older lads. The young ones can be coerced by many rich women to do what they would never take the initiative to do. However, the female adulteress can often find a young man suffering from a mental maladjustment dealing with his mother. In fact, the boy may see this new woman as a mother figure in his life and go through with all his fantasies of incest. Many such men are poor lovers and the women who are on the receiving end aren't really looking for new sons. They've probably already had enough children and are looking for sexual gratification from a real man. However, this is a feat that may be difficult to attain, for the aging woman, wealthy or not, has lost most of her sex appeal, and a good deal of self-assurance. She may also exhibit sadistic tendencies that are easily fulfilled with the passive male youth.

These sadistic feelings are an outgrowth of her general anger and disillusionment with her position. The female adulteress wants to finally get what she has been dreaming of all her life total sexual fulfillment.

The female adulteress who decides not to leave her home and family, and still carry on a secret affair often finds there is one unavoidable risk. In secret adultery there is always the change of contacting venereal disease and transmitting it to her husband. Of course the reverse is true, but the reaction of an outraged husband is best described as shock. The use of a rubber is advised as is the taking of antibiotic tablets immediately after an encounter.

For the female who dislikes deception, there are some men who will accept adultery with their wives. It is more often the younger couple who hold this emancipated view that they will love and cherish each other, but will not promise sexual fidelity. Although a minority at the present moment, there are those who feel this is the beginning of a new trend in dual relationships. It takes an extremely broadminded and mature couple to agree to this type of relationship. Some feel that adultery with consent is an ideal set-up. Dr. Eugene Scheimann writes in Penthouse:

"If both marriage partners agree that they may commit adultery if the need and occasion arise, there is no breach of trust, no dishonesty, no infidelity and no guilt. Consented adultery is the best antidote to divorce. It changes the old concept of marriage, which is too limiting and restrictive. If the husband and wife marry in their early twenties, they may have had no opportunity to relate to the opposite sex, until adultery gives them the scope. Consented adultery gives them the freedom and independence to fulfill their physical, emotional and intellectual needs. It allows them to live as personalities, rather than just wife and mother or husband and father."

This viewpoint would have been unheard of a century ago. But it is certain that the changing mores and attitudes can be considered a part of the sexual revolution. There has been a fundamental shift in views about adultery in the last century. The nineteenth century saw sex are a purely procreative act not to be associated with pleasure; the twentieth century is coming closer to the realization that sex has a definite recreation function. And this new hedonistic idea that sex can be fun is having an effect upon our society. We are becoming more aware that the human sex drive is incapable of being totally repressed for long.

The person who has benefited most from this new view of sexuality is the liberated woman. The woman who decides she isn't going to put up with the whole family scene and the lack of caring of her husband. This new woman is reading and beginning to call into question many of the heretofore accepted generalizations about female sexuality. Despite the fact that noted researchers like

Havelock Ellis and the Kinsey reports illuminated in the fifties that women needed sexual pleasure just as much as men did, many of the old myths just kept hanging around until the revolution began rocking the conservative boat. The patriarchal system of sex-role differentiation was called into question.

Despite the redefinition of marriage currently at hand in societies around the world, a great deal still needs to be discussed. It is very plausible to assume that the old form of marriage is on the way out and is gradually being replaced by a liberalized outlook. This also has a lot to do with a redefinition of the pair-bond relationship.

Some of the changes advocated by female adulteress's are wrought by the sexual revolution of the New Morality and many old school individuals are upset. They see this new trend, particularly of the female adulteress, as a simple ignoring of controls on sexual behavior. They say that unaccepted types of behavior tends toward exploitation and self-indulgence. The proponents of sexual freedom are seen by their opposition as a bunch of people blaming the frustrated desire of sex on the Old Morality. This Old Morality is named as the fundamental cause of tension, frigidity, violence and general personal anxiety and misery. The "new breed" feels the New Morality will restore man's faith in man, make him more responsive and negate the emotional reaction often associated with sexual taboos. The proponents of the Old Morality counter with the opinion that history has shown the societies that have attempted unrestrained sexual freedom, and that when tried, the result is social chaos. This view does have validity, for anyone who proposes that complete unlimited sexual freedom will completely free man couldn't be further from the truth. It is true that the human race in general tends to want what it is forbidden, i.e., sexual freedom. The case on the Scandinavian countries however, points out that in an incredibly permissive society, the sex urge for pornographic materials and sex in general is lower than in a "repressed" country. This has a lot to do with psychology, but can be applied to the case of the female adulteress.

It is often the case that a newly released wife, who has been sanctioned by her understanding husband, may be unable to achieve an orgasm. Even though a different man is stimulating her, her fears and worries build up to such a state that she has true total orgasmic impairment. This condition is becoming more prevalent. The word "frigidity" is commonly used to describe this condition and orgasm cannot be achieved by any means. A similar impairment is called copulatory orgasmic impairment, which refers to the inability of a woman achieving a climax through straightforward coitus, even is she is able to achieve gratification through masturbation, cunnilingus or any other method. It is this type of woman who will often resort to the lesbian encounter to satisfy sexual cravings.

The female adulteress who is also a lesbian is riding a hard road as far as general public opinion goes. It is the rare care indeed when a husband will understand his wife's desire for another man, let alone another woman.

One fact remains evident from our discussion of the female adulteress: the changes occurring in the minds of society are going to directly affect her acceptance. The stereotypes of the "perfect" male and female are being radically reorganized. The people who are now at the old "marriage age" are rarely committing themselves to matrimony in the droves that used to. Of course, traditional marriage in its pure form will still be sought after. But the disenchantment of mothers who tell their daughters not to marry, expose the myths of that fairy tale house and husband that somehow never materialized. Many of the young today are experimenting with new forms of "marriage." Polyandry and polygyny are two very old forms of marriage being tried today along with polygamy, or group marriage. In some of the new forms of group marriages, the ratio of male/female is flexible, allowing for new members and "vacations" from commune life.

Extramarital sex may cease to be a problem in the future because the word marital won't apply. This is hard to substantiate however, and it would be more realistic for the moment to discuss what is already happening, to a degree, in our changing society.

It is perhaps idealistic, but interesting to ponder what would happen if everyone was taught the facts about sex and what being a human being is really all about. If men and women were to attempt to understand their natural polygamous proclivities, and accept them, the fact of extramarital sex would appear quite harmless, and as is often the case for older marriages, of great benefit.

"Cheating" and "adultery" are words that have always been associated with a lack of moral fiber. Wives are upset and outraged when they learn of their husbands escapades with another female, as he is infuriated when he finds his wife has been fooling around. The double standard discussed in the opening section allows a man to punish his adulterous wife in any way, even homicide. This viewpoint is all the more insane when you consider that he does so in the name of LOVE. Love has been perverted to a large extent by erroneous stereotypes and beliefs. If a married couple was truly understanding and wished happiness on his or her mate, even the enjoyment of sex with some or else would be accepted. Of course, this would be a form of Utopia that has never really existed for any length of time.

As long as there is an intrusion of the ego, the extramarital adventures of a woman will continue to be a cause of intense hurt to the male ego. And the reverse is also true. If we accepted that it wasn't natural, which many religions attempt to do, it wouldn't be so common. It is essentially our upbringing that teaches us to regard marital infidelity as evil. If mankind is not able to alter his views that all adultery is wrong, and that sexual contact with anyone except a legal spouse is a "devious" act, then i? will continue as always; secretive and with guilt.

Many couples are recognizing the need for sexual variety and are doing something about it. This is evidenced by the recent trends of wife-swapping and orgies, often starting with the troilistic encounter. In this particular form of the orgy, the basic grouping is more often two females and one male. It is very possible that this form of sexual "deviation" may seem the most attractive for the uptight male of today. And the woman will have the added benefit of possible lesbian contacts, which males find so erotic.

The fact is, many are turning to group sex as a method to satisfy the pretense of sexual exclusivity to one mate and still have the opportunities for different sexual possibilities.

An article in Newsweek discusses the various reasons married couples go in for group sex activity, sometimes called sanctioned adultery. "Whatever form of group sex swingers choose, most couples seem to enter into it to overcome sexual boredom while preserving their marriage. They nearly always start when a restless, generally dominant husband decides that swinging will help him realize his sexual fantasies without jeopardizing his home and family. Wives, who at first may cry or become sick, agree to participate generally out of fear that they might otherwise lose their husbands. But once their initial fear passes, most women claim they enjoy it and, according to Bartell's study, more than 90 per cent of them surprise themselves by indulging in bisexual group action. As a rule, swinging men feel too threatened to perform homosexually, though many say they enjoy watching their wives make love to other women. "The man is there to prove his masculinity, so he dreads homosexuality and impotence,' notes a middle-aged New Yorker swinger." ("Group Sex," Newsweek, June 21, 1971)

But even those who are advocates of swinging admit that there can often be an increase in marital problems. The children are especially feared, because most parents who are involved in group sex have no desire to let their children find out. Another shortcoming about group sex is that it has a tendency to become just as dull and mechanical in time as the original pair relationship was. It may be that real sensuality cannot be attained by merely having sex with different people. The trick is communicating.

One of the most recent developments of "people groupings" that is an opportunity for the female adulteress is the health spa craze. They once had no appeal and were essentially for weight reduction and physical fitness. Today, the old weights and medieval-like apparatus has been replaced by various types of saunas and steam rooms, with massage by "experts" and "skilled" masseurs. It is here that the obese and plain women (who are frustrated by their husbands) will seek sexual fulfillment for incredibly high prices.

Many of these health spas have a varied and planned program for the pent-up housewife. The young masseur often makes most of his money from tips, which he receives for extra services performed on the client. These services may not have been spelled out in the spa program, but you can be sure most women who go to these establishments know what can happen.

There is certain lure and excitement involved in leaving the daily drudgery of housework and going to a luxurious health club, where all women are treated like queens. Group plans are often available and some of these turn into steam bath orgies. In this case the masseur initiates the action and can leave early because the women will usually get involved with sexually satisfying themselves. This process starts when one housewife is commenting on the "massage" she is getting. She might say, "Oh, I haven't felt like this for years, I'm really turned on." A fellow club mate might get into the conversation saying her husband hadn't tried to have sex for three months. The common bond of the unsatisfied housewife is such that in a controlled group situation, a mass lesbian dominated orgy is likely to take place.

The excitement possible in a sexual club may dwindle the pleasure the frustrated wife is getting from her husband. But as is often the case with the health clubs and spas, many of the women are indeed overweight and of no great sexual appeal to their husbands. This may not be true in the more affluent areas, where many of the wealthy have increased free time and therefore, a greater sexual selection and appetite.

The Future of the Female Adulteress

The name of the game is satisfaction. When we are talking about the male adulterer or the female adulteress: we are talking about people who want to communicate with others who want to experience love and sexual interaction. The pill and the other contraceptive devices has literally freed the modern woman from the worry of pregnancy. This used to be one of the main considerations against extra-marital sex because the husband would have tangible evidence of the female's infidelity. But the new freedom allowed to the housewife of today makes it difficult, if not impossible, for the husband to ascertain if he is being "cheated" by his wife. Does this really have an increasing percentage or is there a new structure of slowly evolving relationships occurring?

Alex Comfort, the author of The Joy of Sex, feels that the adult of today is being presented with more choices than his father or mother ever had. Sex, which is now widely and intelligently discussed, can be seen as having three possibilities. According to Comfort, these choices include: sex as parenthood, sex as total relationship and sex pleasure or recreational sex.

"Greater choice can bring greater problems and greater opportunities. It will bring problems in any event, and these can only be reduced by recognizing how great is the range of situations in which sex relations now take place, and learning to handle them to meet our own and our partner's needs. If we can do this, then the new freedom, though it now seems to be generating confusion, could reshape our living to meet the needs which were once met by the traditional human family pattern. We have dispensed with kin to support us in life and look after us in old age. Consequently we are lonely, and we go to 'sensitivity groups' to relearn to treat people as people. The fantasy-concept of total one-to-one sufficiency has let us down. Since sex is now divorced from parenthood, there are many more relationships into which it can enter if we choose." (Alexander Comfort, "Sensuality in a Zero Growth Society," Center Report, December 1972)

Comfort makes a very important point in this statement that specifically relates to the female adulteress. The "fantasy" of marriage has disappeared for the adulteress. She no longer sees her husband as a sensuous lover and herself as a ravishing princess. The reality of married life, which was rarely discussed with her by her mother, has left many women disenchanted. Perhaps if they had been told marriage was going to be normal and boring as any other form of day to day living, they wouldn't have been so disappointed after the initial shock. But when a woman finds out her husband has been fooling around, or that she has a right to be sexually satisfied, only ancient inhibitions and conditioning will prevent her from seeking sexual fulfillment elsewhere.

As the attitudes towards infidelity begin to keep pace with actual practices, we may begin to see a gradual redefinition of the marriage form. Comfort seems to feel that the variety of possible patterns will increase as people find out what really pleases them. For most, parenthood will be the main course, with the resulting responsibilities for their children's security and care. For others, it may be the total intimate pair relationship. Alex Comfort feels that there will be a definite increase in the number of persons seeking intimate sexual relationships with one primary focus, but not excluding others, which will act as a source of bonding to supply the relationships that were formerly supplied by kin. The recreational role of sex would be most evident in this latter case.

There are various reasons why married people go through periods when the enticements for extramarital sex are strong and seem almost to be motivated by a need to test whether the old "sex appeal" techniques are still there. In the case of the female adulteress, her desire is to re-assert her sexuality, to assure herself her seductiveness has not been tarnished. In most people, social responsibilities and ethical considerations will make these desires merely fantasies. They are afraid to give in to their erotic cravings and actually feel guilt for their feelings. This is not an honest approach for it will often lead to bitterness between a man and wife that will I eventually lead to divorce anyway. And the sad thing is, the divorce destroys a salvageable relationship and hurts children.

The housewife who feels an encounter with a stranger is desirable, should discuss with her husband the paradoxes and other human complexities of their long-term human relationship. Although the man may not like what is said, his reaction will be far less severe than if he was never approached by his wife and her guilt feelings were left to multiply.
The Female Sex Drive ....(43k)    by R.B. Andrews




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