A sexual initiation comes to all of us, unless one prefers to remain a virgin for one's entire lifetime.
The first sexual experience can be beautiful, if it is done right.
Unfortunately, for some, the first time is a cruel initiation, a forced initiation, where the predominant feelings are those of fear and pain. Many times, the resulting problems can be tragic.
Nan G.: "My older sister was brutally raped, and thought she would help me through the first experience. So, as her boyfriend held me down, she put on the strap-on dildo and slammed it into me, ripping through me..."
Shelley R.: "My best girlfriend whom I'd had lesbian experiences with initiated the sorority ritual. She wanted me to be straight, like she turned out to be, and had me bound, gagged, and raped by the boys from the nearby frat. . . "
Shari P.: "My fucking father always said he'd be the first to get me, and he chased Lincoln out of the house before my boyfriend had the chance, then took over. I thought it would be better to be dead than have to feel that pain..."
Connie G.: "I always looked much older than I was, so it happened to me at age thirteen. Two boys did it, one holding me down while the other forced himself into my womanly body..."
CASE HISTORY ONE
SUBJECT: Lisa R. AGE: Twenty seven
INTERVIEW ONE
Lisa is a tall, statuesque girl. She wears her brown hair long, over her shoulders and down her back. Her manner of dress is provocative. She wears a long dark skirt and a tight blouse. The blouse is open in the front to reveal her startling cleavage. She has large, full breasts that she wears high and proud.
Her long, slender legs are encased in lace stockings and she wears high heeled pumps that set off the curve of her legs nicely. Lisa's expression is serious and somewhat hard.
She speaks quietly, but with a great deal of authority.
I was always tall. I blossomed when I was twelve and was always the tallest girl in class in school. Maybe that's why I attracted so much attention. I couldn't go anywhere without being whistled at by guys and have comments made as I passed by.
I wasn't particularly flattered by the attention. In fact, most of the time I was really annoyed. But I got used to it and took it as a matter of course after awhile.
The town where I grew up wasn't any great shakes. It was a one-horse town out in the sticks and there wasn't much to do at any time especially on the weekends. The whole town seemed to pretty much fold up and die. I was really bored there and couldn't wait until I was old enough to get away.
My last year of high school was the roughest. I was bored silly by my classes and there wasn't any one really that I could relate to. Because my parents had taken me to Europe the summer before, I had very little in common with the narrow minded people in the town and especially the dumb kids at school. I couldn't wait to get away and I guess it showed in my attitude towards people. I got the reputation for being stuck up and snooty. Maybe I was. But I didn't care. I had nothing in common with those people and kept pretty much to myself.
Luckily, I had a car, so I could get around by myself. I enjoyed going for long rides in the country and would take off on Saturday mornings and just drive out along the country roads and look at the scenery. It was very pleasant out there. The fall colors were in the leaves and it was a relaxing and pleasant pastime.
I spotted a sign at the lane to one of the farms one day that said they had antiques to sell. I turned down the lane and pulled up in front of the house.
There were a couple of other cars parked there and I saw some people walking around the barn. I got out of the car and went over to where they were milling about.
Tables had been set up in the barn and there were some very pretty things there. I spotted a wash basin and pitcher that I really liked. It was white ceramic with roses painted on it. I thought it would look so pretty in my room.
It was priced much higher than I could afford, but I knew that I would have to have it.
"That belonged to my grandmother," the woman who was in charge of the place said.
"Isn't it pretty?"
"It certainly is," I said. "I've just got to have it."
We discussed the price and the lady said that I could put something down on it and she would hold it for me. I really wanted it, so I gave her twenty dollars and told her I'd be back the next week to pay the rest off and pick it up.
On my ride back to town, I couldn't help thinking about the pretty pitcher and basin. When I got home, I went right up to my room and cleared off a place on my bedside table. It would just fit there and it would look so nice.
I told my mother about the pitcher and how much it cost. She was really upset when I told her that I had put a down payment on it, but there was nothing she could do about it. I was determined to have it.
Later that night I asked my dad if he would let me have the money for it. He was not too thrilled about the idea, but I got around him at last and he finally agreed that he would advance the money to me.
I couldn't wait for the next weekend to come so I could go back out and get it.
It was raining hard when I woke up the next Saturday. But nothing was going to stop me from getting out to the farm and picking up my pitcher. My dad had given me the money and I was really anxious to bring it home and see how pretty it would look in my room.
I got my car out of the garage and backed down the driveway. The rain was really coming down and I had a hard time seeing through the windshield. I'd have to take it slow or I'd have an accident in the rain.
I drove through town and was soon out in the country. The rain was still coming down as hard as ever and it was getting more and more difficult to see. The roads were awash with giant puddles that nearly covered my car as I slowly made my way into the country.
I don't know how it happened, but I got lost.
I had no idea where I was and there was no place to stop. I just kept turning down roads and ending up in the middle of nowhere. I decided that I'd better pull in to the first house I saw and ask directions. There was no sense in just wandering aimlessly forever.
I saw a lane off the side of the road and turned down it. It was a muddy, rut filled path and my car was soon hopelessly stuck in the mud.
I got out of the car and ran towards the house. I could see lights on so I knew that there was someone at home.
I ran up onto the porch and banged on the door.
In a few minutes it opened and I rushed inside.
"I'm really sorry to bother you," I said. "But I'm lost and now my car is stuck in your lane."
The man who had let me into the house said that was alright, not to worry about it.
"You must be freezing," he said. "Come on in by the fire and get warm."
I was soaking wet from running up the lane in the rain. My clothes were clinging to me and I was shivering.
I was grateful to get near the fireplace, but it was still cold. My clothes were soaked through.
"Let's get you out of those clothes," the man said. "You'll catch your death."
I really didn't want to take off my clothes in a strange house with a total stranger, but I had to admit that he was right. I couldn't stand there shivering in my wet clothes.
"I'll get you a blanket," he said and left the room.
It was a pleasant looking room, sort of old-fashioned, but I liked that. I had developed quite a taste for antiques and there were some nice pieces in the old farm house. I'd have to take a good look at them when I had my wet clothes off.
"Here you are," he said as he came back into the room. He was carrying a pretty blanket and it sure looked nice to me. I couldn't wait to get out of my wet things.
He left the room again and I quickly stripped off my clothes. They were really wet.
When I was wrapped in the blanket, I felt better and at least I was dry.
"Let's hang your things up," the man said. He picked up my damp clothes and pulled up a couple of chairs and put them out in front of the fireplace. They would dry soon and I would be able to leave as soon as the rain let up a bit.
At last I had a chance to relax a little and look at my host. He was a young man maybe about thirty. He didn't look much like a farmer. I wondered where his wife was.
"Would you like some coffee?" he asked me. "I just made a fresh pot."
That sounded really great.
"Sure," I said and I followed him out of the living room into the kitchen. It was a big, old-fashioned kitchen and really felt good. The wood burning stove was blazing with fresh firewood and the big round table in the middle of the room was set with cups and saucers. I sat down at the table and watched the man bring the coffee pot over. He poured me a cup and one for himself, then he put the pot back on the stove.
"Milk and sugar?" he asked.
"Yes, please," I said. My teeth had stopped chattering and I was beginning to feel better.
He put a pitcher and a sugar bowl on the table and I fixed the coffee the way I liked it. It really tasted good to me. I was still cold inside and the coffee really helped to warm me up.
The man sat back in his chair and leaned across the table. I could see that he was looking into the front of the blanket where it fell open. I clutched it to me, but I could still feel his eyes, burning into me. I was getting nervous. Here I was, way out in the country, I didn't know where, with a total stranger and I was stark naked.
I watched his eyes as he looked me over. Even though I had the blanket firmly pulled around me, I felt that he could see right through it at my naked body underneath.
He sat back in his chair and sipped his coffee. His eyes never left me as I tried nervously to hold the blanket around me and sip my coffee.
As he leaned back in his chair I could see the big bulge in his crotch. His cock was growing hard as he watched me and I knew that I was in trouble. I tried to make conversation, but nothing I said made any sense. I was getting really scared now.
He stood up and walked back to the stove. I thought he was going to get the coffee pot again. But he picked up the poker that was in the fire and held it out before him when he walked back over to the table.
The tip of the poker was red hot. It was glowing and sizzling as he walked over towards me. I could see his big cock jutting out in the front of his pants. He reached down with his free hand and pulled the zipper down. His cock flopped out and he walked right over to where I was sitting.
"Suck it," he said, holding the poker towards my face. "Suck my cock." I was terrified that he would lay the poker against the side of my cheek and mark my face. I reached out with my hand and took hold of his dick.
It was really big and it filled my hand as I wrapped my fingers around it. He stepped up closer to me and put his hand on my head and pushed it down. I felt the head of his cock press against my lips and heard the sizzling poker near my face. I opened my lips and took the head of his dick inside.
He shoved his hips forward and I felt the thick meat of his cock slide into my mouth. I choked as he rammed it down my throat, but I didn't dare stop. He still had the poker in his hand and it was red hot.
His big cock slid in and out of my mouth. I could feel his hard, throbbing prick shoving into my lips and down my throat. I could hardly take it, it was so big, but I managed. I licked at his cock with my tongue as he slammed it into my mouth, fucking me in the face.
"Get down on your knees," he said. "Suck it good."
I dropped from the chair and the blanket fell away from me. I didn't care any more. I knelt there naked in the middle of the kitchen floor, sucking on the man's cock as he rammed it into my mouth.
I put my hands on his hips and steadied myself as he pumped his meat into my mouth, driving it down my throat as I gobbled at his hard, throbbing dick. He bent his knees and rammed his dick into my mouth. I felt the heat of the poker as he swung it near to me. I gripped hold of his legs and held on tight, sucking as hard as I could.
Then I felt his hot load shoot off in my mouth. He stumbled forward as he drove his hard, thick cock into my mouth, spilling his spunk down my throat.
I grabbed his ankles and pulled. He went sprawling backwards on the floor. I jumped up and ran towards the door. I flung it open. I didn't care how hard the rain was, I was going to get out of there somehow.
As I sprang to the door I ran smack into a man who was racing up onto the porch. He shoved me back inside the house and slammed the door behind him.
Lisa's time was up and I told her that we would have to continue the story on her next visit.
INTERVIEW TWO
Lisa was punctual on her second visit, as she had been on the first. She sat down and crossed her long, slender legs. I noticed her very correct posture and remarked to myself on how well she carried herself.
She picked the story up where she had been interrupted before.
I panicked. I didn't know what to do. I was stark naked in a strange house with two men I didn't know.
The man on the floor got up and held the poker up. It was still glowing slightly and I knew that it would leave a nasty scar on my body if he touched me with it.
"What's this," the new man said.
"A little present the rain drove in," the man with the poker said. "Let's take her, George."
The man named George grabbed my wrists and pinned my arms behind me. He pulled me backwards against him and I could feel his hard cock pressing against my ass as he held me tightly against his body.
"I don't think you need that poker, Bill," George said. "I think she'll co-operate with us. What do ya say, honey? You ain't gonna give us a bad time, are you?"
"Please," I cried. "Let me go. Just let me go.
"Not yet," George said. "Come on."
He pulled me by my wrists and I had to go with him. He was really strong. He was much bigger than the other guy. He pulled me along with him and kicked open a door and threw me down on the bed.
I was scared to death. I knew that I was really in for it now.
George was wet from the rain. His clothes were clinging to his body and I could see that he had a really big cock. It stretched from his crotch halfway down to his knee. I watched him as he began to strip off his wet clothes and drop them on the floor.
Bill came into the bedroom and also began to take off his clothes. His big cock was getting hard again as he watched me cowering on the bed. I didn't know what to do.
Bill slid onto the bed and slapped me on the legs.
"Open up," he said. "You're gonna get fucked."
"No!" I screamed. "Please, don't do that. I'll suck you off. But please, don't fuck me I've never been fucked before."
Bill laughed and grabbed hold of my knees and forced them apart. I tried to get up but George came around and grabbed my wrists. He pushed me down on the bed while Bill climbed between my legs. I could fell his big, hard cock pushing against the tight hole of my pussy and I struggled, trying to get loose.
Bill's cock slid into my pussy and I screamed as I felt the thing tearing into me, ripping me open. He plunged his dick into my cunt and rammed it home. George was holding me tight by the wrists and beginning to twist my arms. I cried out but it was no use, I was getting fucked and I knew that it was hopeless to struggle.
"That's it," George said. "Fuck her good. Get her opened up. I'm next."
I squirmed and writhed on the bed, but Bill was pinning me down, plowing his dick into my pussy and George was holding onto my arms tight. There was no way I could get loose and I had to take it to take that big, thick cock that was ramming into my tight virgin pussy, tearing me open as Bill plunged his meat into me.
I felt the hard, thick shaft of his cock ramming into my cunt, filling me up and ramming home. His balls slapped against my bare ass as I lay there, spread out and being ravaged.
"Here, suck on this for awhile," George said. He climbed up on the bed and straddled my chest. He pressed his ass down on my tits and rammed his dick into my mouth. Bill was still pounding away at my pussy and George's huge cock filled my mouth.
I could feel the hard, thick cock ramming into my lips. I opened as wide as I could as George slid his thick tool into my mouth, plunging into me as Bill rammed his cock into my pussy.
I was being filled with hot cock and choking on George's dick as he slid it down my throat, pumping his peter into my mouth while Bill ripped into my pussy.
Then Bill shot his load. I could feel the shudder in his body as the big thick cock shot off in my snatch, flooding me with his hot man juice.
He pulled his cock out of my cunt and slid off the bed.
George popped his cock out of my mouth and slid down on the bed. I could feel the big, hard head of his dick at the lips of my pussy and then he rammed his meat home.
I screamed as I felt the hard, fat cock shoving into my pussy. It was much bigger than Bill's. It was huge and it filled my little pussy as George slid it in all the way and then pulled it out to the head. Then he rammed it in again. I couldn't do anything but lie there and let him fuck me, ram his hot, hard cock into my tight pussy, tearing me open with his meat.
I must have passed out, because the next thing I knew I was waking up. It was dark and cold. I was lying in bed and there was a blanket and quilt over me. I jumped out of bed and ran across the room to the door. It was locked.
I rattled the doorknob, but it was no use. There was no way out of the room. The window!
I crossed the room to the window and looked out. It was dark out and there was a moon. The rain had stopped. I lifted the window sash and peered out. The window was not too high off the ground. There were some bushes just outside and I put my leg over the window sill and slid out. I lowered myself over the sill and held on. Then I let go and dropped.
The bushes scratched at me as I tumbled out of the window, but I was out. I scrambled to my feet and started to run. I could see my car down the lane and I headed for it.
I opened the car door and slid in and closed the door quietly behind me. I turned on the ignition and let the motor warm up a bit. Then I put the gear shift into reverse and stepped on the gas.
The wheels spun in the mud. I was stuck!
I frantically tried to grind my way out of the rut that I was in, but the tires did nothing but spin in the mud.
I saw the door of the house open and the two men came running out of the house. I opened the car door and jumped out. I started running up the lane towards the road.
I stumbled and fell, sprawling in the mud on the lane.
I felt hands grab at my wrists and pull me up.
"No need to hurry away," George said. "Come on back to the house."
I kicked and scratched, but George just laughed as he dragged me back to the house. We clambered up the steps and across the porch. The door slammed behind us and George let go of me. I stepped back and looked at them.
The two men were standing there watching me as I cowered, naked and muddy in the middle of the room.
"What are you going to do with me?" I asked.
George just smiled and unzipped his pants. He pulled out his big, thick cock and stroked it slowly.
"I think we ought to wash her off some," Bill said. "She's kind of muddy."
"Good idea," George said. "Get the tub ready."
Bill went off somewhere and I heard water running in a minute.
"Come on," George said. "It's bath time."
I didn't want to go, but George grabbed me by the wrist and pulled me along. There was nothing I could do but go with him.
He dragged me into the bathroom. Bill was testing the water with his hand. There was steam rising from the tub.
"Now get in," George said. "We need to clean you up some."
I stepped a foot into the tub. It was really hot. I pulled my foot back out and reached down to turn on some cold water.
As soon as I had the water at a decent temperature, I slipped into the tub. It did feel good. I lay back in the water and let it cover my body. I had gotten a few scratches and bruises when I'd jumped out the window, but nothing serious. Still the hot soothing water really felt good on my sore body. And my cunt was sore too. The two guys had really fucked the hell out of me. And I knew that it wasn't over.
After my bath, they gave me a towel and I dried off.
"Now, come along," George said. "It's bed time."
He took me by the arm and led me up the stairs. The room was much bigger than the other one that I had been in. And the bed was bigger. It was a big four-poster bed with a canopy over the top.
"I think we need to hold her down some," Bill said. He was holding some lengths of rope in his hands and he stepped towards me.
I pulled away from George but he grabbed me roughly and threw me down on the bed. I kicked and squirmed but he was much too strong for me. Bill grabbed one of my ankles and wrapped a loop of rope around it, then he attached it to one of the posts on the bed. He gripped my other ankle and slipped another piece of rope around it and tied me to the bed posts.
George held my wrists while Bill wrapped the ropes around me and tied me down to the bed. I was tied hand and foot. There was no way I could get loose.
"Please," I cried. "Please don't hurt me."
"Hell," George said. "Who the hell wants to hurt you? We're just gonna fuck you and fuck you and fuck you."
And that's what they did.
I was kept tied to the bed post and the two men took turns fucking me. First one then the other. Sometimes one would shove his cock in my mouth while the other one fucked me. Other times they would take turns ramming their cocks into my pussy.
There was no way I could prevent it. I was spread wide open and tied securely to the bed. I just had to lay there for days and get fucked and fucked.
I woke up one morning a couple of days later. The ropes were gone from my wrists and ankles and my clothes were laid out on a chair near the bed.
I got up and put on my clothes. Then I walked to the top of the stairs and listened. I couldn't hear anything down below. I started down the stairs.
There was nobody in the house. I opened the front door and looked out. It was a clear, sunny day. I couldn't see anyone around, so I ran out on the porch and down the steps.
My car was sitting in the lane where I had left it, but the rain had dried up and I was able to back down the lane and turn onto the road. I took off out of there and eventually found my way home.
I had really gotten lost in the rain and it took me a long time to find my way back, but I finally made it.
My parents, of course, were delighted to see me.
"Where have you been?" they wanted to know. "What happened to you?"
All I could tell them was that I had gotten lost. I couldn't tell them everything that had happened to me. I was too ashamed. I just told them that I had gotten off the track somewhere and had stayed at a deserted farmhouse. I didn't tell them about George and Bill.
It was a long time before I would let a man come near me after what had happened to me. But when I met Harold, things changed. He was kind and gentle and very understanding. He didn't press me he was patient and willing to wait until I was ready.
When we got married and left on our honeymoon, I knew that I would have to let him fuck me. I was prepared for it and knew that Harold would be understanding and sympathetic.
That night when he crawled into bed with me, I was prepared to do what he wanted. I knew that he would be ready to fuck me and I tried to talk myself into it. But I couldn't get turned on. He was kind and gentle and very sweet, but nothing happened. I could not open up to him and let him fuck me. I loved him very much but I just couldn't get used to the idea of him sliding his dick into my pussy. I was dry and when he tried all it did was hurt.
Harold was very upset. He felt that I didn't really love him and was rejecting him. It wasn't that. It was just that I couldn't get turned on.
We lay in the dark for a long time. Harold was horny and ready to go and I just couldn't warm up to him.
"Harold," I whispered in the dark. "I have an idea. Maybe it will work."
He was ready to try anything.
I went to the bureau and took out several belts and sashes for my skirts. I gave them to Harold and told him to tie me to the bed.
He thought that was a little strange at first, but I insisted.
It was funny, but as soon as I felt him tie my wrists and ankles to the bed posts, I started to get hot. I could feel the juices in my pussy start to flow and I knew that Harold would have no trouble sliding his cock into my cunt.
"Now tear my clothes off," I said.
Harold grabbed hold of my nightgown and ripped. It came off in his hand and he threw it to the floor.
"Now fuck me, Harold," I said. "Fuck me hard."
Harold climbed onto the bed and pounced on top of me. I felt the thick, hard head of his cock pressing against my outspread pussy lips and he rammed his meat into me.
My hot pussy juices were flowing and Harold had no trouble sliding his long, thick cock into my snatch. I humped my hips up from the bed and met his hard, thrusting lunges as he plowed his meat into me, ramming his cock in as hard as he could. Harold grabbed hold of my tits and squeezed them hard in his hands as he shoved his meat into my pussy. I cried out at the pain, but I didn't want him to stop.
"That's good," I cried. "Oh that's so good. Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me."
I struggled against the ties that were holding me down to the bed, but I loved it. I wanted his cock to tear into me just like Bill and George had done. I loved it and couldn't get enough of his hard, hot cock in my pussy.
CONCLUSION
Lisa had resisted the self knowledge that the violent rape she had experienced with the two men on the farm had actually been enjoyable to her. She had suppressed the feelings in herself and was only able to respond to her husband when he simulated the rape that had colored her early life.
It is not so unusual for a woman to actually experience sexual pleasure during rape even though they will deny it to themselves. The brutality of the rape can be highly stimulating and once a woman has succumbed to such forbidden pleasure, nothing less will satisfy her.
CASE HISTORY TWO
SUBJECT: Wanda P. AGE: Thirty six
INTERVIEW ONE
Wanda is a full-bodied woman, almost plump. She has short dark hair which she wears brushed back from her face. On her first visit she was wearing a brightly colored skirt and a white blouse. Her breasts are more than average in size. She seems self-conscious about her bust development and tries to minimize the effect. But they are so large that it is impossible to disguise the fact that she is very well developed.
Her manner is somewhat breathy and she talks quickly, indicating that she is a highly emotional person. She seems prone to laughing unexpectedly when she becomes nervous about something. She had a nervous habit of gripping one or the other of her tits and squeezing it when she gets excited.
Hell, there ain't no use in lyin' about it. I guess I always was a hot little pistol. Ever since I can remember I liked the boys. I liked to be around them and play with their peckers. Nothing would make me happier than to have a guy's hard, thick cock in my hand or in my mouth or up my cunt. I just never could get enough of it or at least so I thought.
I got a couple of brothers and they are mean bastards. They were always teasing me and pulling jokes on me. Most of the time it was okay, but every once in awhile they'd do something real mean to me and that would get me mad.
We lived out in the country not exactly on a farm. We had a few chickens and we raised some corn for ourselves, but that was about all. We didn't have no livestock or nothing like that. It was just a little place out in the boon docks.
Anyway Jimmy Ray and Bobby Joe, that was my brothers, they was always teasin' me and doing nasty things to me.
like every time I would go out to the outhouse, they'd sneak up and pull the door open. I'd be sittin' there taking a shit or a piss and those boys would throw the door open and stand there laughing at me while I sat there with my dress up and my panties around my ankles. I couldn't get up and run after them. But I'd wait to get even with them and sometimes I did.
But one time, they did something that really got me mad.
I was down at the banyan that ran through our property. It was more than a creek and not as big a a river. It ran along the edge of our property and it's where we used to go swimming in the summers.
It was real pretty down there and the water was clean and pure. Hell, you could drink that water right out of the stream, it was so clean.
Anyway, I was down there one afternoon. Jimmy Ray and Bobby Joe was supposed to be off taking care of something for my daddy, so I figured I'd sneak off and do me some skinny dippin'. That's what I liked most. Stripping off all my clothes and swimming naked in that nice clean water.
I didn't do it when those two were around though. Cause I was getting to be pretty well developed and Jimmy Ray and Bobby Joe were both older than I was. It just wasn't right to run around without any clothes on in front of them.
So, I was down at the banyan and I stripped off my clothes and hung them on a bush by the water so I could get to them as soon as I came out. There weren't too many people who came down there in the middle of the week in the afternoon, but you never knew. Somebody just might take it in his head to come down for a dip and I didn't want to be caught with my pants down, so to speak.
It was really pretty there that day. The sun was warm and the water was just right. It comes from up in the hills and stays pretty cool all the way down to where we were. I was splashing around in the water and having me a good time when I heard something.
I looked up and there was Jimmy Ray and Bobby Joe staring down at me and laughing.
"Hey, Wanda," Jimmy Ray yelled. "What ya doin'? "
"What the hell does it look like I'm doin," I yelled back. "I'm takin' a swim. Now you get the hell out of here and leave me alone."
"Sure," Bobby Joe said. "We'll leave you alone, won't we?" He nudged Jimmy Ray in the ribs and whispered something to him. I could tell they were both up to no good because they started to snicker and all.
"Go on, you two," I yelled. "Get the hell out of here."
"Okay," Jimmy Ray said. "Let's go."
Then they turned and grabbed hold of my clothes and took them off the bush where I had left them. They started running up the hill away from me.
"Hey!" I yelled. "You bring my clothes back here."
They turned and stopped.
"You told us to leave you alone," Jimmy Ray yelled.
"Yeah," Bobby Joe said. "And that's what we're doin'. "
"Leavin' you ALL alone," Jimmy Ray said and they turned and disappeared up over the top of the hill.
Well, I was so mad I could have spit. There I was, stark naked, stranded down at the banyan. I couldn't get out of the water. What would I do if anybody saw me. I'd have to stay there until it was dark and then sneak on home.
And that's just what I did. I stayed there in the water until the sun went down. It was really getting cold in the water by then and I was glad to see the sun disappear over the horizon and the comforting cover of night come on.
I swore I'd tan their hides when I got home and got me some clothes on. I climbed out of the water and started walking up the hill towards home. It was really cold with me all wet and everything. I started jogging along the fields as I headed for home.
My tits were flopping as I sprang along the open field. It was kind of a nice feeling, I had never felt so free, running along with the wind whipping at my naked body. I really started to feel pretty good.
"Hey, where are you going?" a man's voice startled me and I was grabbed by the wrist and spun around.
I didn't recognize the man. He was a rough looking customer and I knew he didn't come from around there. He was some stranger that had wandered onto our property. Probably a tramp.
"Let me go," I yelled and I kicked at him.
He grabbed me by the other arm and pulled me up tight against him. He smelled bad and I tried to bring my knee up into his nuts, but he swung me around and held be tight against him. I could feel his hot breath on my neck as he crushed me into his body.
He started rubbing against my naked ass. I could feel his dick getting hard in his grimy pants as he held me tight against him. I was really scared. We were way out in the field and even if I had yelled nobody cold have heard me.
"You always run around naked like this?" he asked me.
I wriggled, trying to get away from him, but he was too strong for me. He pulled me down on the ground and pinned me.
"Let me go," I said. "Please let me go."
"Not a chance," the man said. "Not till I get what I want from you."
He had his knee in my stomach and was pressing me down. I felt his hand let go of one of my wrists. I clawed at him but he just laughed. He was pulling down his zipper and taking his cock out.
Then he lay down on top of me and I could feel the hard rod of his dick poking between my legs. I wriggled and squirmed.
"Just lie still," he said. "This won't hurt much."
I knew he was laying. I had heard about how much it hurt the first time you got fucked and I knew he was going to stick that big dick of his in my young pussy. I tried to get away from him, but he was so big and strong all I could do was wiggle and squirm.
Then I felt his hard, thick cock ramming into my pussy. I screamed as he tore into me. His thick piece of cock meat rammed into my hot little box and he shoved it in all the way.
I couldn't believe the pain that was racing through my body as he rammed his dick into my cunt, shoving the big thing all the way in and then pulling it out and then ramming it in again.
He had me down on the ground, slamming his big, hard prick into my pussy. I could feel the blood running out of my cunt as he slammed his big pecker into me, ripping into my cunt and spreading me open.
I was so weak all I could do was lie there and let him do it. I thought it would never end. He shoved his big dork into my cunt and pounded away at it. I felt him get al' tense and then he shot his hot load of cum into my pussy. I could feel the squirts of cum shooting off inside me. I took it. I took all of his cock and all of his cum inside me.
After he got up off me, I just lay there for awhile. It really hurt where he had poked his prick into my pussy. I just wanted to crawl into a hole and pull it in after me.
But eventually I got up and walked back to the house. It was dark when I got there. Everybody was in bed. I walked into the kitchen and then up the stairs to the bathroom. I turned on the water in the tub and let it run.
I was just getting into the bathtub when the bathroom door opened.
"Where the hell have you been?" Jimmy Ray asked me.
"Where the hell do you think I've been, you creeep?" I said. "I just got raped."
"No shit," Jimmy Ray said. "What happened?"
I told him about the tramp and what had happened out in the field.
"Hey, I'm real sorry," Jimmy Ray said. "I didn't mean nothin' bad to happen to you. We were just funnin' with you."
"Well, it wasn't no fun," I said. "Now go on and leave me alone."
Jimmy Ray went on out of the bathroom. But I had seen something when he was in there. He was just wearing his jockey shorts and I swear that boy had about the biggest cock I'd ever seen. It was poking out the front of his white shorts and I think he was getting a hard on. It sure looked like it.
I sank down in the water and let it cover me over. I felt dirty all over and my pussy hurt from that damned tramp shoving his dick into me.
I rubbed my twat with the warm, clean soap and it started to feel really good. I had not been in the water long, when all memories of the tramp were gone. I was feeling clean again and I wanted something in my cunt. I shoved my hand inside my pussy and washed it out. The more I slid my soapy hand into my cunt, the better it felt. I climbed up on my knees and squatted in the water. It was warm and clean and pure and I was getting more and more turned on.
I knew that my brother was in the next room and that he had that big dick that I had seen shoving out the front of his pants. I slipped out of the bathtub and dried myself off.
I crept to the door of Jimmy Ray and Bobby Joe's room and opened it. I could hear Bobby Joe breathing deeply in his sleep, but I could see that Jimmy Ray was lying there with his hand around his cock. He was pulling on his meat as he lay on his back in the bed. I slipped into the room and closed the door behind me.
"Hey, what are you doing in here?" Jimmy Ray said as I slipped onto the bed beside him.
"Shhh!" I said. I reached out and took hold of his cock with my hand. It was as big as I had thought it was. Jimmy Ray was started as I slid my hand around his cock but he lay back on the bed and let me pull on it. It was long and hard and thick. It filled my hand as I stroked on it and it was really hard.
I put one leg over Jimmy Ray's body and slid on top of him. I poised myself above his cock and stuck the head of it into my pussy. Then I slid down on top of him and his cock slipped into my cunt.
It really felt good in there. The tramp had opened me up and I liked the feeling of Jimmy Ray's dick sliding into my pussy as I raised and lowered myself on top of him on the bed.
Jimmy Ray started to pump his hips upwards, driving his big piece of meat into my pussy as I rode on him. I could feel his thick, throbbing rod shove up inside my hot cunt and I took it all into my pussy.
"Hey, what's going on?" Bobby Joe said. We had been making so much noise bouncing up and down on the bed that he had wakened up.
"Shhhh!" I said. "Get over here."
Bobby Joe put his legs over the side of his bed and walked across the room to where I was riding up and down on Jimmy Ray's cock. I reached out and pulled down Bobby Joe's shorts. His cock was pretty big too, not as big as Jimmy Ray's but it was a good handful. I wrapped my fingers around it and started to stroke on his peter as I felt Jimmy Ray's cock jabbing up into my pussy.
Bobby Joe's cock started to get hard. I pulled him closer to the bed and bent over. I opened my mouth and took the head of his cock into my mouth. My lips closed around the head of Bobby Joe's prick while Jimmy Ray rammed his meat up into my snatch.
It really felt great to have my two brothers shoving their cocks into me. Bobby Joe started to hump his hips and drive his dick down my throat. He held onto my head and pumped his hips into me, shoving his thick cock into my mouth.
Jimmy Ray slammed his hips upwards, driving his dick into my cunt as I slid up and down on top of him. I felt his hard, throbbing dick fill up my pussy as he grabbed hold of my thighs and pressed me down onto him. I spread my legs as wide as I could and his cock really shoved up inside me.
I felt his body go tense as he started to shoot off his wad inside my pussy. I clamped my pussy lips tight over his cock and took his load into my cunt.
Bobby Joe rammed his dick into my mouth and I sucked hard on it while he shot his creamy white load of cum into my mouth. I swallowed it all down while Jimmy Ray delivered his load into my pussy.
INTERVIEW TWO
Wanda seemed more sure of herself on the second visit. Her nervous habit of gripping her big tits was still there, but she didn't squirm as much when she talked to me. I think she was beginning to trust me more.
like I said, I really liked cock. When I found out what my two brothers had and what they could do with it, I couldn't leave them alone.
I was always after them. They were glad to let me suck them off and play with their cocks. And I just loved to get fucked. I couldn't get enough of Jimmy Ray or Bobby Joe's dicks. I wanted them all the time.
But they couldn't keep their damned mouths shut. They had to tell their friends about their hot cunt sister. I didn't mind at first. In fact, I rather liked it.
Bobby Joe or Jimmy Ray would show up at the house with a friend of theirs and call me out. I'd go out to talk with them and they would say something like, "You want to go out to the barn and fool around?" or something like that. I was always curious to see how big their dicks were, so I'd go on out to the barn with them and we'd fool around.
One time they brought two boys with them and I liked both of them. Their names were Teddy and Billy and they were brothers.
Teddy was a tall red-haired boy and he had about the longest cock I'd ever seen. It was at least ten inches long, maybe longer. But it was real skinny. Billy was a short kid and for a little guy he sure had one piece of meat on him. It was thick and pretty long, too. Not as long as Teddy's but it was really a lot bigger around.
I held both their cocks in my hand and jerked on them while they took turns playing with my tits. My tits were really getting big now and I loved to have them played with. I would open up my blouse and just let them fall out. The boys really got turned on while they played with my big knockers and I liked to play with their cocks.
I didn't let all the boys fuck me, just special ones. Ones I really liked. But I'd jerk them off or maybe suck on their dicks. But I saved my snatch for guys that I really liked.
One night Jimmy Ray came up to my room. It was kind of late and I was getting ready to go to bed.
"Come on outside, Wanda," Jimmy Ray said. "I got something real special to show you."
"Get on out of here," I said. "It's late. Time for bed."
"Come on, Wanda," he pleaded. "You'll like this I know you will."
I knew he was up to something, but I didn't know what. If I had known I'd have locked myself up in my room and barricaded the door. But I wanted to see what Jimmy Ray had up his sleeve.
I followed him out onto the porch.
"Hi," a tall, gawky kid said. He was kind of hiding in the shadows and I couldn't see his face. I stepped down off the porch. I didn't know the kid, I'd never seen him before.
'This here's Hoss," Jimmy Ray said.
"Hoss?" I said. "That's kind of a funny name."
"Come on out to the barn and we'll show you why he's called that," Jimmy Ray said. He had a shit-eatin' grin on his face and I should have known he was up to something, but I was dumb enough to go along with him.
We all three went out to the barn and Jimmy Ray closed the door. We climbed up into the hay mow which was were we always fooled around.
I sat down on a bale of hay and the two boys climbed up the ladder.
"Show her," Jimmy Ray said.
Hoss unfastened his pants and pulled them down. He stepped up to where I was sitting and I didn't believe what I saw. That kid had the biggest damned dick I've ever seen in my life. Hell it must have been a foot long and it was really big around.
"Holy shit," I said. "What the hell do you do with that thing?" I took hold of his huge piece of meat and held it in my hand. Or I should say both hands. It took both of them to get around the damned thing. I started to pull on his pecker and it started to grow. I didn't believe that it would get any bigger, but I'll be damned if it didn't. Hoss's cock just kept right on growing as I pulled on it. It was almost down to his knee and still growning.
"Go on, Wanda," Jimmy Ray said. "Suck on it. Take it in your mouth."
I have to admit I was curious to know just what I could do with that big thing. I opened my lips and wrapped them around Hoss's cock. It was so big that it made my cheeks stick out as he slid it into my mouth.
I sucked on the head of his cock and took as much of it as I could into my mouth, but it was so damned big around that I could hardly take more than a couple of inches into my mouth. I sucked and licked it like a lollipop and I felt it start to throb.
"Let him fuck you," Jimmy Ray said. He had his cock out of his pants and was jerking himself off while he watched me suck on Hoss's huge fuck stick.
"Shit no," I said. "That thing would tear my pussy open."
I pulled back and held Hoss's cock in my hands. It was really hard now and I could see just how big the thing was. It was about as big around as my wrist and real long.
"Go on, Wanda," Jimmy Ray urged. "Let him stick it in you."
I did want to try it, just to see how much of that big cock I could take.
I slid my panties down and kicked them off. I lay back on the bale of hay and spread my legs out wide. Hoss squatted down between my legs and I put the head of his huge pecker against my pussy.
"Take it slow," I said. "Take it real slow."
Hoss started to push his cock into my pussy. I could feel my little cunt straining as he slid that big piece of meat inside me. When he had a couple of inches inside me I made him stop. It was starting to hurt a little bit and I wanted to give myself time to get used to it.
Then it stopped hurting and I told him to give me some more of it. I watched the big fire hose slide into my pussy and felt the sides of my cunt being stretched wide as Hoss slid his dick into me, pushing in and slipping that big piece of cock meat into my little cunt.
I heard some noise and looked up. There was another boy sliding up over the top of the hay mow.
"Hey, who's that?" I asked.
"Never mind," Jimmy Ray said. "Go on and take it. Take all of that cock."
Hoss pushed his dick in farther and I felt it straining the limits of my pussy as he slid that big cock all the way inside me. I gasped as I felt him reach bottom. His balls were resting against the lips of my cunt. He had that big cock all the way inside me.
"Now fuck her," Jimmy Ray said. "Fuck the shit out of her."
Hoss pulled back and then rammed his cock all the way back inside my pussy. I could feel the big, thick thing tearing into me as he pumped his meat inside me. I cried out, but somebody put his hand over my mouth.
"Go on," Jimmy Ray said. "Fuck her good. Fuck that pussy."
I felt rather than saw what was happening. I knew there were a lot more boys up there in the hay mow than I had thought there were. Jimmy Ray had really done a number on me. He had told all these guys to come over and watch Hoss fuck his sister. And he sure was.
Hoss bent over me and rested his hands on the bale of hay. He was pulling his huge cock out and ramming it back in as hard as he could. I thought my pussy would split open as he rammed that big thing inside me.
I wriggled and squirmed but there were boys every where. They were holding me down while Hoss rammed his huge dick into my pussy, pounding and shoving it in as far as he could go.
Then I felt somebody's dick at my mouth, He was pushing his cock into my lips and I opened up. I could feel the hard, thick cock slide into my mouth as Hoss plunged his pecker into my pussy, tearing me open with the huge fuck stick.
I tasted the hot cum squirt into my mouth and the dick was pulled out. Then another one was shoved into my mouth in its place. I could feel the hard thrusts as Hoss rammed his meat into my cunt, filling it with his hard, thick cock.
Hoss shot off inside me and I felt like I was being flooded. I'd never had so much cum all at once. Wave after wave of his hot, creamy cum shot into my pussy as his big balls banged against me. Hoss slid his meat pole all the way into my cunt and then pulled it out.
I gasped as the big thing was pulled out of me. I felt empty after having had it inside me.
But I wasn't empty long. Another boy was taking Hoss's place and shoving his hard cock into my pussy.
With one long stroke he plunged it in all the way. Then he pulled out again and slammed it in. He was fucking me hard while another boy was shoving his cock down my throat. I tried to get up, but there were hands everywhere holding me down, while the two boys shoved their dicks into my mouth and my pussy, pounding into me harder and harder.
One after another I felt cocks being shoved into my pussy and my mouth. I lost count after awhile. I didn't know how many of them there were or how many times each one of them fucked me. I didn't care. It was wonderful.
The only time I knew which one it was was when Hoss shoved that big thing of his into me. There was nobody else that big. I couldn't mistake that cock of his. It was like a damned flag pole slamming into my pussy and I took it each time it got easier and easier. I loved it and wanted it again and again. More and more
I began to need it.
After that night, I couldn't be satisfied by anything less than Hoss. I wanted that huge dick of his and I went after him.
He had just moved to the area and that's why I'd never seen him before that first night. But I sure saw him a lot after that.
I'm still married to him and I don't think any other man could satisfy me at least not just one man but Hoss is all I need and I'm happy with him.
CONCLUSION
Wanda was always as she describes it "cock happy." She is fortunate to have found a man who can satisfy her.
Her sexual needs are greater than most women and if it were not for her good fortune in finding Hoss, she would be constantly searching for the ultimate orgasm.
Women like Wanda need more affection than most women, but mostly what they need is the biggest penis they can find. Only that will satisfy them.
CASE HISTORY THREE
SUBJECT: Nan G. AGE: Twenty
INTERVIEW ONE
Nan is a tall girl with light brown hair and large eyes. She also has high cheekbones which seemed naturally red when she came to see me, on a cold day.
I could see that she was the kind of girl who was bursting with energy, and since I was not ready for so much enthusiasm, I had to tell her to slow down. Once I heard about what happened to her, I was somewhat surprised at all her energy, even when she was talking about the most hideous parts of her cruel initiation.
She was wearing a button-down shirt, and had the top few buttons open. I could tell that she had small, firm breasts, and her hip-hugging jeans revealed a shapely lower half. All in all, Nan was one of the must alluring, happy young girls whom I've had the chance to interview, but deep down, I felt this enthusiasm was a kind of mask to hide her true, hurt feelings.
I must admit that things probably would have been different had I not had an older sister. I mean, Marcy is the bitch who did it to me, in the end, so of course, I mean it in that sense. Had I not had the older bitch for a sister, I never would have lost my virginity in such a horrid way.
But that's not what I'm really talking about. Marcy was also the one who told me a hell of a lot about sex, which she'd been practicing since she was thirteen. She happens to be six years older than I was, and I was hearing stories from her about what she did from the time that I was seven.
Deep down, I feel now that she was trying to turn me on, and tempt me with her stories, trying to make me want to go out and try some of the things that she told me about. Of course, at the time when she would tell me, I didn't think that way.
But her stories put such ideas into my head.
For instance, when she was thirteen, she jerked off her first boy. His name was Bobby, and he had shaggy blonde hair. He was real cute, and I believe that he was the cutest boy she was ever to go out with. There are times when I still bring it up, because ever since her brutal rape on me, we've not gotten along.
Now we shared a room, and I remember that night when she came home rather late. Luckily, Mother and Dad were asleep, and so was I, until I heard her making all this noise in the room, dropping her shoes on the floor, and slamming drawers closed while she was taking out her nightie. Slamming closets, too.
I sat up in bed and looked at her. Her black hair looked rather messy, and when she saw me looking at her, she immediately took a mean attitude on herself.
"What the hell are you looking at?" she asked.
"What happened to you, Marcy? I mean, it is late. If Mother and Dad knew you came home so late, they would just kill you and..."
"They won't know," she said to me, threatening me, as if to say that they wouldn't know because the only way they could learn was from me, and I was to keep my mouth shut.
I asked her why she looked so messed up, and then she sat on her bed, right near mine. She leaned over, and made me promise not to tell anyone.
She and Bobby had been out late, just hanging out in the local park, smoking grass. I think that shocked me more than anything else, because at that point in my life, I thought of marijuana as being a really hideous, addicting drug. Of course, I do know better now, but I'll always remember being more shocked about that, than what she went on to tell me about.
They started necking, which she said was real hot, and then he moved his hand to her breast and began to massage it. For a girl of thirteen, she had really huge tits, and I think she didn't like that too much, since most of the girls her age didn't, and used to tease her about her big boobs.
Anyway, she was getting more and more turned on when he was kissing her, and he started to pinch her nipples through her blouse, so that they were real stiff. Then, he pulled her hand over to his crotch.
"I could feel his dick, and it was nice and hard," she said to me, and then, she could tell by the look on my face that I didn't even know much about what a dick was.
I had no brothers, and had never seen my father naked. I was only seven, too.
I couldn't believe it when she reached into her pocket and pulled out this picture. I had no idea where she had gotten it. She must have ripped it out of some dirty magazine, because it was a picture of a man with a hard cock sticking right out between his legs. A girl was on her knees, her mouth open, her tongue out, but she wasn't touching the cock at all with her tongue.
"That's a dick, you stupid bitch," she said to me, and she went on.
It was late in the park, and they knew that there wouldn't be many people around. Therefore, when Bobby started to tell her to open his zipper, she did, and within a few more seconds, she pulled his hard cock out.
Now I was just thinking that Bobby's cock was the size of the one in the picture, because I didn't know any better. The one in the picture was enormous, of course. I mean, since that time, I've seen a lot of pictures, and it seems like they only take them of men with big dicks, which is stupid in my opinion.
Anyway, she started to jerk his cock up and down, and she even made the hand gesture for me, showing me how she kind of made a fist, but didn't make it all that tight so his cock could fit in, and then moved her hand up and down.
"But that wasn't enough for him at the time," she said to me. "He even stopped playing with my tits once I was working his cock."
"Why? I mean, what happened to him?"
"He got turned on, you stupid ninny. He was breathing heavy, and he was moaning a little bit about all these pleasure waves running through his body. I thought that he looked kind of hot there, because I did look up at his face, and there was just a little bit of light from the nearby street lamp, so I could see him."
But, she went on, it still wasn't enough. He wanted her to take his dick in her mouth, and he tried to push her head down. Now although Marcy would change quite a lot within the next few months, and love sex like a fiend, she hadn't ever done anything like this at the time, and wasn't all that willing.
Bobby kept trying to push her head down, pulling her hair at times so that it would hurt her and she would weaken.
"Did you ever touch it with your mouth?" I asked her, and I could see that she was a little bit mad at me for asking these questions. It was as if she wanted to tell the story at her own rate, so I let her go on.
He did manage to force her down near his cock, close enough so that her lips touched him, and she said that seemed to turn him on even more, though he did keep pulling at her hair, in an attempt to make her scream so she would open her mouth.
She did push her tongue out through her lips, and as she told me the story, I could even see her lick her lips a little bit. It was the kind of lick she would do when she would be eating something for dinner that really turned her on, so I kind of sensed that she had liked the taste of his cock, for the second her tongue was there.
"Because it was only a second," she said to me. "As soon as I touched it with my tongue, he started to moan, and then he was coming."
When I looked at her with a puzzled expression, she seemed pissed off. I didn't know what the hell coming meant, and she had to tell me about the white cream surging out of the slit on his cock, and she even pointed to the slit on the cock in the picture of the man. To tell you the truth, it made me kind of sick to think of it.
"Did you taste it on your tongue?" I had to know, thinking that if she did, I would never go near her again.
"No, ass-hole. As soon as he started to come, he was like putty in my hand. He was at the mercy of his dick, and it was easy for me to pull my mouth away and just run my hand up and down his cock shaft. It throbbed when he was coming, too. I could feel it throbbing in my hand, and it was really hot, too."
She said that she kept jerking him for the longest time, and he just kept coming.
Finally, he did stop, but not before she had drained him. He was pretty mad at her, she said, because she had let his come drip all over his pants.
Anyway, the reason Marcy had looked so messy was because of the struggle that they'd had, where she kept trying to pull her head away from his cock, but he kept trying to push her down.
I noticed that there was a strange odor about her, but said nothing. Only later in life would I think about it more, and realize that the odor was the smell of a man's sexual organs. But that night, I said nothing.
She undressed, got into her nightie, then ran to the bathroom so she could wash up. By the time she got back, I was sleeping.
But it went on like that, and within three more weeks, Marcy was waking me up again late at night. She was still seeing Bobby, and she was even more aggressive when it came to waking me up, at about one in the morning, on a school night, too.
She started to shake me nice and hard, until I opened my eyes and looked up at her. I was still rubbing the sleep out of my eyes, when she was talking.
"I'm such a stupid idiot," she said to me. "Such a stupid idiot."
Now at our ages, it was only natural for us not to get along, and I had to agree with her one hundred per cent. I nodded, and then she slapped me across the face, in a playful kind of way, but in a way that still hurt.
And she started to tell me how she had let him force her head down that time. It hadn't happened in the park, and she said that maybe the reason she had not let it happen the first time was because they were out in the open, in a place where people would be able to see them . But this time, they were sitting in his father's car. Of course, Bobby was only fourteen, and too young to drive, but they had snuck into the garage near his house, and had sat in the back seat. Marcy had more to tell before she got to the part where she took his cock in her mouth.
She said that the reason she did it was because this time, he went further with her. The other time, he had just played with her tits for a little while, without even moving his hand into her blouse and bra.
But since they were in a garage, where no one would see them, and it was pretty warm, he opened her blouse, then pulled her bra down below her tits. He moved his mouth to her nipple and started to lick it, flicking his tongue back and forth over the tip of it. Now I could see the way she was getting turned on, telling me about it.
I don't even know if she was aware of what she was doing to herself. She was in a dream-like kind of state, rubbing her breasts through her blouse as she told me.
Bobby sucked on one brown nipple, and then the other, and as she lay back more, he slid his hand to her zipper and opened it. Then, when she lifted her ass up off the car seat, he slid her pants and panties down.
"He started to lick my cunt, and I suddenly realized why he was so turned on when I played with his cock. He was making me feel all this tingling pleasure running through my body, Nan. It was the most fabulous thing."
He licked her cunt lips for the longest time, and blew hot air into her pussy. Then, he spread her lips, and she told me he started to lick her clit. When I seemed to be confused about that, she made a face that let me think I was an idiot.
Then, since she had to undress anyway, she slid out of her pants and panties, and spread her cunt lips to show me her clit.
She rubbed it as she talked, and I looked at it and saw it getting a little bit bigger as she played with it, but then I looked back at her face, and saw the way she had her eyes closed, and was licking her lips again.
Then she told me how he kept working his tongue over her clit, and how her juices were soon flowing. It was, she said, one of the best things that ever happened to her.
"But why did you say you were such an idiot?" I asked. "Besides the obvious reasons that you and I both know about."
"Fuck you, little bitch," she said. "If you don't want to hear the rest, then I won't even bother to go on with it."
Of course, I did want to hear more. She had gotten me up out of a deep sleep, and I was wide awake by that point. Besides, now that I knew what a cock looked like, and happened to have a school girl crush on Bobby, I wanted to hear all about it.
She told me that she'd been a fool for not having taken his cock in her mouth the first time. Because after he made her come a few times, he sat back on the car seat and spread his legs a little bit.
As he had been licking her, he had opened his zipper, and his pants snap, and when he sat back, he slid his pants all the way down.
Marcy told me that this time, she didn't just see his cock, but she also saw his balls, and his hairy pubic patch. The way she talked about it let me know that it really turned her on, but she just sat there a few seconds.
"Then he just asked me to suck it," she said. "I remember that the first time, he didn't really ask. He just tried to force me. I hadn't liked that. When I was still hesitant, he went on, explaining why I should do it."
The reasons, of course, had to do with the fact that he had licked her for the longest time, and made her come hard. He had shown her the kind of pleasures a person could feel when another person was licking the genitals on the first person. He had licked and sucked her clit. He had blown hot air all over her cunt.
"And though the jerking was okay the last time," she told me he had said to her, "It's not the same. At least I don't think it will be. I mean, I've never had any girl lick me before, but I want you to be the first."
And so, she had moved her mouth down. At first, she wasn't all that sure if she would really be able to do it, but she managed to lick it, and then she moved her lips further down the shaft.
When she told me that she was able to slide her lips all the way down to the end of his cock, where the dick met the balls, I couldn't believe it. Of course, I was thinking of that long pole in he pictures, and not of the kid-sized dick that Bobby had at this point in his life. He was not fully grown.
So it was easy for her to move her mouth all the way down, and she said that she didn't even have to take his cock in her throat. Even with her mouth all the way down his shaft, it wasn't penetrating her throat.
She licked the shaft at times, running her tongue along the underside of the cock, down to the balls, which she said were in a hairy-coated sack. He seemed to love it the most when she rubbed his cock all over her face while his balls were in her mouth, and she said that he liked it, too, when she smeared the few drops of come from his cock slit all over the head of his cock.
"It didn't take as long as I thought it would, in the end," she went on.
When she moved her mouth back to the head of his cock, and started to take it between her lips for the second time, he started to pulse.
She thought about pulling her mouth away, and letting him come all over his belly and pubic patch, but then, she felt his hand behind her head.
"I drank your juices, now you drink mine," he said, and it was not so much of a suggestion as it was a command.
Even if she had wanted to pull back, she knew that she couldn't because of the way he was holding the back of her head.
She said that he even pushed her down, so her mouth was near the base of his cock again, and her nose was pressed against his pubic patch. She said that when she inhaled deeply, she could smell his strong masculine odor.
Then, she started to feel the come shooting onto her tongue, and she sucked at him as hard as she possibly could.
Marcy said that she really didn't get too much of a taste of the come, because she still didn't like the idea of it. She said that she let it slide right down her throat, without letting it linger on her tongue for too long.
Still, after he had finished coming and she pulled her mouth back, he made sure that she kept her lips around the head of his cock, and when she moved her tongue there and felt the way his whole body flinched, she liked it. She also got to taste the last lingering drop of his cream.
Now as I said, the whole time she talked, it was as if she was living the whole thing over again. When she'd started to tell me about her clit, she had played with it, and she kept playing with it the whole time she told me about sucking him off.
I didn't know much about cunts then, or sex, for that matter, but I sensed that she was sexually aroused as she kept wiggling her clit. I didn't see any juices running down her leg, but then again, her other hand was right in front of her cunt.
When she finished that story, she got up to go wash herself in the bathroom, and when she came back, I was still up.
She got into her nightie, and then she leaned over.
"You know something, Nan? You should be happy you have me as an older sister, because you're learning about all these things from me. When it happens to you, you'll know enough about it, if you know what I mean?"
"No, I don't," I said, thinking that she was an egotistical bitch.
"I mean it's all new for me. I'm learning as I go on. I have no older sister to tell me about these things before they ever happen to me. But you do. When you grow up and you're with some boy, you'll know just what to do. Now I can't wait until I get myself fucked. You'll hear all about it when I do."
Now most of the kids at school would curse each other, saying, "Fuck you," and things like that, but as I said, I was only seven, and I always sensed that most of the kids in my class didn't even know what it meant.
I know that I didn't know, either, and I probably never would have admitted it, had Marcy not acted like the smart ass that she usually was. She leaned over again, and she started to whisper to me.
"I bet you don't even know what fucking is, you dumb little bitch."
"I do, too," I insisted, and when she asked me what it was, I was smart. "I'm not going to tell you. If you don't know what it is, you'll just have to learn for yourself."
Of course, she did, because as I said, she was already playing around with a man's cock. I kind of sensed that it was when the man put his cock into a woman's cunt, since the two things seemed to go together.
It didn't happen to Marcy for the next two years, and I must admit that for the next two years, whenever she would come home with a story to tell me, I would sit in my bed, with my eyes closed, trying to fall asleep.
I mean, after all, she wasn't doing much more than sucking on Bobby's cock and then letting him eat her, and I was getting tired of hearing about it. Once, she came and told me about how he had tried to fuck her. That was when she was fourteen, and as she described what happened, I suddenly knew that I had been right.
"He pushed me back on the car seat and climbed on top of me," she said. "He started to try and force his cock into my cunt, but I was too scared. He said that he was tired of what we were doing with each other, and wanted to finally fuck me. But because I was scared, I got too tense.
"My cunt lips kind of puckered closed, and as he tried to force his way in, I just told him that I would scream."
"Would you have screamed?" I asked her, and she nodded.
"You bet, Nan. I don't think I'm ready to let it happen to me now. Besides, I like the way things are between us, though all he ever talks about now is wanting to fuck me. It's like he's not even content with what we do. That leads me to believe that once I let him fuck me a few times, he'll be tired of that, too."
And so, she didn't let it happen until three days after she turned fifteen, and I must admit that it's a night I'll never forget.
I knew it was going to happen to her, because as she was getting dressed that night to go out, she told me she would let it happen.
I even wanted to stay up late so I could hear her story, but my parents told me to go to sleep, and of course, I did lay in my bed. Eventually, I did fall asleep, expecting her to come in bursting with enthusiasm.
You know what I mean? Those other times she would slam the doors and drawers open and closed, and shit like that.
Well, it didn't happen at all like that. I was awakened by the sound of whimpering, and when I looked over, she was sitting on her bed, with her legs dangling off the side.
"Hey, Marcy, how was it?" I asked, as I raised my head up.
It was only then that I noticed the way she was leaning over, and seemed to have something pressed between her legs.
When she sat up and the towel fell to the floor, I could see that it was soaked with blood. I almost passed out, until I saw that she was ready to do so herself. I kind of knew that I would have to be strong for both of us.
I got up and ran to the bathroom to get a washcloth, and as I helped her raise her legs up on the bed, I was wiping away more blood, until it finally stopped. She ended up passing out, with another clean towel stuffed between her legs.
So you see, I didn't hear much about what happened that night. In fact, I heard nothing until the next day, when she was stronger.
And I know that when I got older, she raped me because she didn't want me to have to suffer the way that she had, the very first time. Still and all, I thought she was a real bitch for doing it, considering the way I'd kind of nursed her that night. I was even saying things to her about it as Jimmy was holding me down and Marcy was putting the strap-on dildo around her waist.
INTERVIEW TWO
The second time Nan came to see me, she was wearing a long dress, and I hadn't realized how tall she was until she was dressed that way.
Once again, she seemed as bubbly as she had been the first time, and she was quite eager to continue her story. This time, I was prepared for her enthusiastic outbursts, and was ready for her to start with her story.
However, since she had not finished talking about what happened to her sister that first time, that was where she started, and I was happy about that, because it led me to believe that her sister was trying to help her, and make it easier for Nan when it came to Nan's being with a man the first time.
I also believe that since the experience, which occurred a few years back, Nan had grown to understand that, too, although we both had to agree that it was a rather stupid thing for Marcy to do no matter what.
She didn't go to school the day after it happened, and when I came home, I ran right up to the bedroom. She wanted to know what had happened to the first bloody towel, and I told her that I put it in a bag and dumped it in the trash on the way to school.
She was happy about that. As for the towel she had used when she went to sleep, it wasn't as messy, and she was able to make my mother believe that she'd just had her period in the middle of the night.
"But tell me what happened," I said to her. "I want to know. You never had a chance to tell me last night. You just passed out."
So she started to tell me. She had kind of promised Bobby that she would let it happen when she turned fifteen, so on the day that she did, three days earlier, he started to hound her, reminding her what she had promised.
And like I told you the first time, she really had prepared herself for it the night that she thought it was going to happen.
Once again, they had to do it in the car, because Bobby's parents were home, and my parents were home, so there was no where else for them to go.
She told me that she had stripped completely, and Bobby had too. It was the very first time that they had stripped for each other completely.
However, once they were naked, all Bobby wanted to do was plunge it into her, and he did try to do it that way. She told him that he had to do it nice and slow, and turn her on first, because she was nervous.
"I don't know what you're so nervous about," he said to her. "It's just a fuck."
"A girl only has one first time, Bobby. Besides, I'm a virgin, and I'm pretty sure that I have my hymen. You're going to have to break it, and I've heard that it's supposed to hurt. I don't want it to hurt anymore than it has to."
After a long talk, she finally convinced him that it would be so much easier for her if he ate her for a little while. After all, hey had been doing that to each other for about two years, and she got turned on that way.
"It took me longer," she said to me, the day after. "It took me longer to get turned on, Nan, because I guess I knew what would happen after that. You know what I mean? Each time I would start to get turned on, I'd think that as soon as I did, he was going to ram it right into me, and that would be it. So it took a long while."
In fact, she said, he was starting to get a little bit frustrated with her, and she could tell that he was getting angry by the way he was eating her. That meant he was sucking her clit a little too hard, and sometimes even biting into it. He would tell her that it was an accident, but she said she really didn't know if she could buy that as an excuse. He just wanted to fuck, and had wanted it for a long time.
Finally, he did make her start to come, because she just closed her eyes and tried not to think about fucking.
She just thought about the way his mouth turned her on, and the way she had even grown to love the taste of his dick.
Marcy told me that the moment he had her coming, he slid his way up her body as fast as possible, almost as if he thought taking anymore time would make her think more about what she was going to let happen.
He rammed it into her with one hard thrust.
The way she looked as she told me that made me know she had hated it. I could see a look of extreme pain on her face the second that she told me he rammed it in, so I could imagine how much pain she must have felt the moment it happened.
"It was because he ripped right through my hymen, and I opened my mouth to scream, and ended up letting out about half a scream. For as soon as he heard it, his hand was clamped down tight over my mouth. I honestly thought he was going to smother me."
Of course, she knew now, he just wanted to keep her quiet, so that his parents wouldn't come running out to see what was happening in the garage. And he also thought that if he kept fucking her, it would keep her turned on.
So that was what he did, slamming his dick in and out of her cunt.
The moment she had felt the surging pain, all pleasure ceased flowing through her body, and because he kept thrusting, as if he thought it was going to make her feel better in the end, she was just hurting a hell of a lot more.
"It took him the shortest time ever to come in me, Nan, but it seemed like an eternity. I mean, it would always take longer when I sucked him off, and maybe it took about one or two m inutes for him in my cunt. But it seemed like an eternity."
I could understand what she meant, since it had hurt her so much. I mean, although I was still young and couldn't even masturbate myself to orgasm, I had learned, from her, that you lose all track of time when you feel pleasure.
It only made sense that when you felt pain, time seemed to stand still. I could relate to it in a sense, for when my father spanked me, it seemed like the ten or twelve smacks to my ass lasted forever.
When Bobby started to come in her, she said that all she felt was relief.
She knew that his shooting cock signified a nearing end to his hard-on, and she couldn't wait for him to lose it and pull out of her.
He did not pull out right away, although his cock went limp, and Marcy said that he must have thought her flowing wetness was her cream. It was not until he pulled out and looked down, as she did, too, that they saw all the blood.
All she could tell me then was that she was happy they'd stripped, otherwise their clothes would have been covered with blood.
He was freaking out, though, seeing it on his cock, and all over the back seat of his father's car. Even though her body was still wracked with pain, she had enough sense to tell him to get a towel.
It was one of his mother's towels that I had ended up throwing out, because after they cleaned the car seat, and his cock, she cleaned herself out and stuffed the towel between her legs, because she was still bleeding.
She almost had to scream again, because he wanted her to walk home alone, and she could barely stand up straight. In the end, she said, with some hostility, he did walk her home, but the way she spoke made me think she would never want him again.
I was wrong. It took a few days before she got over it, but I think some of her girlfriends were the ones who convinced her to do it again.
I'll never forget the way Judy put it.
"If you fall off a horse, you get back on, right? Well, the first fuck is always going to hurt, because it's the ripping of the hymen that brings pain. There's no way around that, Marcy. But now that you don't have it, you should love getting fucked."
And she kind of knew that her friends were right, and she started to see Bobby again. It took her a while to convince him to do it again, because he was convinced that she'd just start to bleed all over the place.
And it did take a while before Marcy learned to enjoy it, for she reported everything to me as it happened, each time.
The next few times with Bobby, she felt some pleasure, but she did have to fake a lot of her moans, because it just didn't seem to be working right. Then, her friend Judy suggested that they try another position, and Marcy told me how she was able to talk Bobby into laying back, so she could ride his cock.
"After all, Nan, it's the man's cock making contact with the woman's clit that turns the woman on. When I sat on his cock, I felt better."
She said that she felt better because the contact her clit made with his cock shaft was better, and also, because she was able to move up and down his cock shaft at the rate that she wanted to do it.
That meant when she felt like she was going to come, she could ride him faster and build herself up to a greater orgasm, and when she would feel him pulse, she would end up slowing down, so he wouldn't come right away.
He didn't seem to like that too much, because, Marcy said, he was the kind who wanted to come the very first time he was pulsing. She said that any man who was like that was really a selfish bastard deep down.
She said that after she stopped seeing him, and though she told me it was her own decision, I didn't really ever know the truth about that.
Remember when I told you how she said Bobby got bored with their oral sex after they'd done it a few times, and wanted to move right into fucking? And she had also said that she thought he would get bored after fucking her a few times?
Well, no one will ever convince me that it didn't happen that way, although Marcy sure tried to make me think it was all her decision.
By that time, it made no difference. She was sixteen, and no longer a virgin, and she loved to get off on being fucked. For the next few years, she had a steady line of boyfriends, and seemed to go out all the time.
By the time she was eighteen, I think she'd been laid about a thousand times. My parents, surprisingly enough, didn't even know. They thought she was a virgin, and thought that she was the most trust-worthy person, more so than myself.
In fact, when she turned eighteen, they started going on vacations.
They hadn't really gone away a lot because there was no one to take care of us, but now that she was a young adult, she could handle the responsibility.
She sure took advantage. Most of those nights when they were away, I'd end up sleeping in their bed, because she had some boy over and was fucking with him in her own bed. There were times when I watched, and deep down, I have to admit something to you, doctor, that I never admitted to anyone else.
I didn't like the idea of letting a boy fuck me. I mean, I just didn't think it looked good for the girl, when Marcy would just lay back and spread her legs, and let the boy climb between them and thrust and thrust, as hard and fast as he wanted to.
In fact, although I knew she was getting off, it looked kind of one-sided, like the guy was feeling all the pleasure from it, and she was feeling none at all.
Then she met Jimmy, when she was nineteen, and I was just reaching puberty at the time. Jimmy was a real handsome young man, of twenty, who had short brown hair, and a really huge dick. I had seen the hard dicks on many of her boyfriends. Most times, when my folks were on vacation (and they went on about five or six a year, making up for all those years when they didn't go away), I would take a sneaking look into our room, where she was entertaining, just to see how big the boy was.
Jimmy didn't have the longest dick, but even from afar, it seemed like it was the thickest dick I'd ever seen.
He seemed to like me, too. More so than any of her other boyfriends, he was always coming over to me when he came to see her, and he would bullshit with me, and joke around. I really kind of liked him. Maybe I even had a schoolgirl crush on him.
Then, one weekend when my folks were out, it happened.
I was in my parents' room ready to fall asleep, because I was real tired, and I could hear some yelling from their room.
"No, Jimmy. I don't think you should do it. I don't want you to."
"Come on, Marcy. Don't be such a selfish bitch. She's getting older, and it's going to have to happen to her eventually."
"She's too young. Too young."
I could hear the voices coming closer, and a few seconds later, the door was being pushed open, and both Marcy and Jimmy were standing there, stark naked. His cock was sticking straight out, bobbing up and down.
He flicked on the light, and saw me with my eyes open.
"Hey, Nan, be honest now. Tell me something. Don't you want to know what it's like to be fucked? I could get into fucking you."
"I don't know," I said. "I don't know."
"See," Marcy was insisting, "she's much too young. She's only thirteen. I was fifteen when it happened to me."
"Times are changing, Marcy," he said to her. "Kids do it when they're eleven."
As he walked closer, I must admit that I liked the look of his cock, but as far as that thickness went, it seemed menacing. I didn't think my cunt would ever be able to stretch to take that thing in.
It was then that my sister ran out of the room. She came back in a few seconds, and she was holding a towel in one hand, and a dildo in the other. I hadn't even known that she owned one. She really must have kept it hidden well, because I was always the curious kind who looked through her drawers.
"You know, Jimmy, you're much too thick for her to take the first time," my sister was saying. "That's why I want to do it with this first. I'll open her for you so that you won't hurt her later."
Now that freaked me out. I didn't want my sister fucking me with this piece of rubber that she had in her hand, and I opened my mouth to scream.
Within seconds, Jimmy was near me, covering my mouth with one hand. He sat on my shoulders with his body pressing me down, so that I couldn't even fight with my arms. His huge cock was hanging near my face, and I noticed how much bigger it was now that it was inches away from my mouth.
"Please don't," I was moaning. "Don't do this to me, Marcy. Please."
"It's for your own good," she moaned to me. "I'm telling you, Nan. It's going to have to happen. Remember how much it hurt me the first time?"
"Yes. And I helped you though it. So why do you want to hurt me?"
"To help you through it, too," she said.
Then, she was pushing my nightie up, and I saw the way Jimmy turned to look at my naked pussy. I had some hair there, and when my sister started to rub her finger near my cunt, I had to admit that it felt kind of good.
Then, I saw her standing near the side of the bed, and she was strapping the dildo on around her waist, as fast as she could.
"Now remember, Jimmy. If she screams, cover her mouth. I know that it'll hurt no matter what, but I'll try to do it as nicely as I can.
And she pushed my legs up, and I could feel her slipping the towel under my ass, so that the blood wouldn't mess the bed up.
She fingered me a little while longer as she climbed onto the bed, so that she could get my juices flowing, and then work the dildo into me.
And I must admit that as she first moved it into me, it felt all right.
But then, she slammed it in, and I could feel the burning pain she had talked about, years back, when she was broken. I bit my lower lip, and felt the way Jimmy was rubbing his cock all over my face.
I swear, Marcy was like a maniac once she was in me with thy dildo. She had said that she would be gentle, but she never slowed down to let me get adjusted to it. Instead, she slammed the thing in and out of me, so I was squirming with pain.
At the same time, I could feel Jimmy still rubbing his cock, and a few seconds after my sister had started, he was moaning loud.
"Yeah, shoot all over her face," Marcy yelled, and I knew what she meant. The idea of it was making me feel more pain, and seconds later, I felt his warm cream landing on my lips and on my nose and cheeks.
He kept rubbing his cock around, rubbing the cream into my skin, and that really turned me off more than anything else.
I wanted to die. I wanted to die even more when my sister pulled out of me, and then she moved near my head. She pressed my shoulders down so I couldn't sit up, and I heard her telling Jimmy something.
"Now that you're not so thick, enter her. I'm sure you'll get it up again because of how warm she is, and her cunt will get adjusted to your size as you get thicker. Do it now, Jimmy. Do it and let her feel it."
And he slid right down between my legs, and pulled them up on his shoulders.
I must admit that I could hardly feel his dick when he first entered me, because since he had come on my face and was semi-limp, he was thinner than the dildo had been when my sister raped me with it.
But because my cunt was wet and hot inside, though the wetness was mostly from the blood I saw later, he did start to get turned on.
When he started to get thicker in me, and I felt that stiff dick stretching my cunt walls, I wanted him out of me.
I started to moan about it, and then, I felt something being shoved into my mouth. I could taste the blood, for my sister was letting me suck thy dildo. Actually, she was forcing it into my mouth, and not really putting it there for my own pleasure. In a way, she was shoving it there so I'd have something to suck on, rather than starting to scream the way she knew I would.
When his cock was fully hard, I wanted to pass out. I even closed my eyes and tried to concentrate on blackness taking over.
Neither one of them had thought about something, and I didn't either, because I didn't know better at the time. It was only much later in life that I would think they had been stupid.
Since Jimmy had just shot a thick load all over my face, and he entered me without his cock even being hard, it was going to take him a long time to come. Even though he got hard pretty fast, inside of me, there wasn't another load of come in his balls ready to explode inside of me.
Therefore, the fuck that seemed like painful eternity did end up taking about a half an hour, which is a long time for a first fuck.
I kept remembering the way my sister had told me how Bobby had seemed to take a long time, though it was only a few minutes.
Well, I did look at the clock on the dresser at one point, and then looked a little bit later. I know, therefore, that it was at least a half an hour before he started to throb and shoot off in me.
It easily could have been longer than that, too, but I don't know.
I do know that when he pulled out, I just sat up and stuffed the towel between my legs. All I could think about was how I was going to bleed to death, but Marcy slapped me across the face a number of times to calm me down.
She kept telling me, all weekend, that they had done it for my own good, and by Sunday, I was ready to let Jimmy fuck me again, thinking that I wanted to feel what a real fuck was like, without the forceful pain.
It didn't turn me on right away, and I must admit that it took a few more boys before I came across one who did turn me on.
I don't know what it is. I think I'm different from my sister.
Marcy was always such a cock crazy girl, that any cock could turn her on, but I always thought of myself as being different.
I always thought that I really had to like the boy a lot, and many of them that fucked me, until I met Joe, who showed me how good it could be, were just boys I knew, but wasn't really turned on over. I was just trying to find someone who would make me come hard when he fucked me.
There is a difference when you come across someone you really like, because I kind of think of the sexual act as something sacred.
I met Joe a year ago, and the attraction was not only mutual, but instantaneous.
We dated a few times before we even made it, and I told him a little bit about my past. He was shocked when he heard about what my sister had done to me, and he's never treated her the same since.
He thinks, deep down, that Marcy is an evil bitch, and I must agree with him.
She's jealous of my hot romance with Joe, which has been going on for over a year, mainly because she'd never able to keep a man. She's such a loose cunt, that she lets most men fuck her the first night, and they lose interest.
But Joe and I took it slow, and the first time we went to bed together, we didn't even fuck. We just fondled, and he ate me and I ate him. Then, by the time we worked our way up to fucking, we both really wanted it.
I never thought any man would turn me on, because for six years no man did, and I blamed my sister and her brutal initiation for it. But now that I found Joe, I don't hate her so much. I still don't love her, either.
CONCLUSION
I honestly believe that a cruel initiation, such as the one Nan was put through, could lead to many problems with most women. In fact, I've heard similiar stories, and some of the victims were never able to achieve orgasm since.
However, I had to tell Nan that one of the reasons I was sure she was different was because of her sister, and the stories her sister used to tell her. When Marcy said that Nan should be grateful to have an older sister who filled her in on sex, she was partly right.
Nan knew a great deal about sex before she was raped by her sister and Jimmy, and therefore, she could rationalize certain things out. I honestly believe, too, that it was Marcy's sex-hungry attitude which gave Nan her own attitudes, about wanting to love a man before hopping into bed with him.
I know that she realizes all of this now, but I must agree with her. It is still no reason to change her feelings toward Marcy.
CASE HISTORY FOUR
SUBJECT: Shelley R. AGE: Nineteen
INTERVIEW ONE
Shelley is an attractive girl with straight brown hair, and rather straight looking facial features, as well. However, it ends there, for below the neck, she has one of the most rounded, curved figures I've seen in some time.
I sensed that she was quite nervous when she came to see me. For one thing, she couldn't sit still, and as a result, her mini skirt kept slipping up. She has lovely legs and thighs, which I could not help but notice. I sensed that she was a little bit upset, but I pointed out that I could not help but look.
I want you to know right away, doctor, that I consider myself a lesbian. I'm just saying that so you don't get any ideas. Actually, I must admit that the only satisfactory relationships I've ever had have been with women.
I'll admit right now, too, that I've only been with a man once, and that was when I went through this horrible, cruel initiation. Well, maybe I should clarify. It was not one man I was with, but I'll get to that.
I think back about that one experience, and now I tend to think of it as a gang rape, though the sorority sisters tend to think of it as their initiation.
Perhaps the reason why I tended to hate it so much, also, was because I was used to doing it with my best girlfriend, Roni.
Roni and I grew up as next door neighbors, and I think that my attraction for her stems back for years. I mean, even when I was about ten, I could kind of sense that there was something between us, something drawing us close together.
Of course, since we were in the same grade and all, and lived so close, we were great friends, which could be the whole explanation for it.
But we were even closer than best friends should be. Roni's father had a drinking problem, which the entire neighborhood tended to know about, but no one ever really talked about it. That was why she spent so much time over at our house, sometimes coming over right after school, and staying for dinner.
And of course, on nights when her father would come home from work stewed, and she was still over having dinner, the phone would ring. Without ever knowing what was said, we both knew that it was her mother calling. She would just ask my mother if it was all right for Roni to spend the night at our place, and my mother would always say yes. Since I had my own room, with a big double bed, there was always room for Roni.
I could remember the times when we slept together, before age thirteen. There was always a lot of hugging and snuggling up to one another, almost like we were teddy bears for the other. I loved it, and I really thought that she did.
I mean, I always felt this kind of heat. I would wrap my arms around her, and sometimes when she would lean her head on my shoulders, I would feel her long black hair rubbing against my neck, too. It always sent a kind of tingly sensation running through my body, and once when I told her, she said she felt the same way.
Once, when we were eleven, we took a bath together, and started to play with each other's prepubescent bodies. I know that I felt some kind of sexual feelings running through me even then, and when Roni moved her fingers between my cunt lips, then started to rub my stiff clit, I loved it.
I moaned loud, and she played with my clit a little bit. Without any juices actually flowing out of me, because I honestly don't think it could have happened, I achieved something that resembled the orgasms I would feel later in life.
That same night, we ended up going to sleep in my bed, and I remember that somehow, we both snuggled out of our pajamas.
We pressed our hairless pussies together, and I know that I started to get wet that time, unlike the time in the tub, a few minutes earlier. Roni started to moan when she felt me getting wet, and she moved her lips to my nipples, and sucked them each, one at a time. I didn't have any tits to speak of at the time. Remember that I was only eleven, and hardly even developed.
But it continued for years, and when I was thirteen, Roni went down on me for the very first time. By that time, I had a light brown pubic patch, and when everyone else in my house was sleeping, she started to undress me.
Soon, I was laid back on my bed, completely naked. I started to moan softly when she sucked my nipple, and this time, there was some tit flesh for her to play with. In fact, I could sense that she liked the fact that I had tits.
You see, I was developing faster than she was. I had tits, and she was still flat as a board, though she had nipples that would pop right up, and stick out real far. In many ways, I felt that those nipples made up for her lack of tit flesh.
I played with those nipples of hers, plucking at them and feeling the way that they were throbbing under my touch.
She moaned more and more, and I know that my nipple massaging fingers were what led her on, and made her want to go down on me. I loved the way they kept throbbing, and that was why I kept playing with them.
Soon, she was licking her way down my belly, and I honestly didn't expect her to move her mouth to my cunt. I mean, at the time, we didn't even know what straight sex was about, much less lesbian sex.
But Roni moved her lips to my cunt lips and started to kiss them. I know that she had to be able to feel how wet I was there, and she drove her tongue between my cunt lips and started to wiggle my love button.
"Shit, Roni, this feels so nice," I moaned, and I looked up at her and saw her dark eyes twinkling back at me.
I was positive that she was getting off on it, though she would end up denying it much later in life. She would end up defending herself, telling me that she had only done it because she knew it was turning me on, and I was such a good friend that she felt I deserved to be turned on.
Of course, she wouldn't say it then. She started to suck at my cunt, and I could feel the suction inside of my cunt making me hotter and hotter.
When I started to come again, I felt her tongue licking the cream off my cunt walls, and when she did that, she was still massaging my love button, harder and harder. I had never masturbated myself at all, and these orgasms were the first I ever felt. To feel multiple ones the first time was fantastic.
Now because she turned me on, I felt that I should do the same thing for her. Only later in life, when she'd tell me that she had been doing me because she thought I deserved it,, and not because she liked it, would I know I was different.
Because when I started to turn my body around so I could pull her pajama bottoms down and move my lips to her pussy, I realized something. Of course, I thougt she was loving what she was doing to me, too.
Because as soon as I moved my lips to her pussy, and licked her into a wet state, I was loving it. I loved the fact that it was turning her on, I must admit, but I also loved the fact that I liked the way she tasted.
I was surprised to see how much hair she had near her cunt, because from the size of her tits, or rather, the lack of tits, I would have thought her pussy wasn't going to be all that developed.
But she had a full, thick patch, and when I made her come and some of the juices dripped up into her hair, I licked the hairs, and sucked the juices off. I thought that it really tasted so fucking good.
I moved my mouth back to her cunt lips and licked them, and then, when I spread her cunt lips, I looked at her love button.
It looked so big. I mean, it was nice and stiff, I could tell, and I just thought that it looked so lovely. I immediately wrapped my lips around it and started to suck on it, working my tongue back and forth over the tip of it.
Roni had to cover her mouth to keep from moaning so loud, because we both knew that my parents were sleeping in the next room, and could wake up. I saw her pull a pillow over her head, and press it down against her mouth.
As I laughed, because of the way she was muffling her moans, I was blowing some nice hot air into her pussy, and that turned her on more and more, too.
She started to thrust herself back and forth against my mouth, and there were times when my chin was just dripping with her pussy juices. I slid my hand under her ass and cupped her buttocks, and felt how wet they were.
I knew that she was turned on when I felt her buttocks, and I guess I must have been eating her for about an hour.
When she thought that she was going to faint from exhaustion, she pulled the pillow off her face, and begged me to stop.
Then, she pulled me up on top of her so we were rubbing tits and pussies together, and she kissed me hard on the lips, pressing her tongue into my mouth. I sucked on it and just felt so warm and comfortable.
It happened for the next few years. Roni's father's drinking problem just seemed to get worse, and it was almost like she was my sister, more than my best friend and neighbor, as far as her staying over went.
I'd say that from age thirteen through sixteen, she stayed over six out of seven nights a week. The one or two nights a week that she'd go home would be when her old man came home drunk and just passed out.
Otherwise, so I heard, he would be so abusive to her mother, that the woman would beg my mother to let Roni stay, and my mother did love Roni like her own daughter.
When we were both going to start college though, and we were going to a city college near where we lived, so we wouldn't be moving out, things started to change. Roni had never shown any interest in boys before.
But suddenly, as her figure developed more, and she started to put on make-up and dress to show off her curves, boys were turning their heads to look at her, and I knew that she was getting off on it.
Roni was the one who told me that we had to stop what we were doing, and from age seventeen on, we didn't make love, though we usually shared the same bed. It was one night when she came out and told me she had just done it because she knew it was turning me on, and I was shattered.
Then, she started to date Lyle, and of course, I hated him, because he was kind of taking her away from me. She paid as much attention to him as she used to pay to me, and of course I didn't like that at all.
One night, she came over real late because she and Lyle were out, and she told me that she had lost her virginity to him. That was when she was almost eighteen, and she said that she didn't know what she had been missing until that time.
She told me that I should go out and lose mine, and I knew that she was straight then, just like I knew that I was gay. After all, I did a lot of reading about it, and there was even a lesbian club as school.
But I never let Roni know I was going to those meetings, and sometimes, I would let her arrange double dates, with herself and Lyle, one of his friends, and me. I hated it when his friends tried to kiss me.
I was just not into boys, and even though I never came right out and told her, she knew me well enough to suspect where my head was at.
I strongly suspect that Roni was behind the whole initiation at the sorority, because I had never told her I lost my virginity. I'm sure she was trying to help but only ended up hurting me real bad.
INTERVIEW TWO
The second time Shelley came to see me, she was carrying a picture of herself and Roni that had been taken a few years back.
There was a naive, young kind of innocence about the two of them, and I had to admit, because Shelley did ask me, that she seemed a little colder and harder looking now, at this point in her life. She said that it was all Roni's doing.
She was dressed in a pair of jeans and a tight blouse, and once again, I had to comment her on her lovely figure.
I didn't really want to join any kind of sorority, because I knew that the girls there were just interested in boys. I knew because Roni and I went to a meeting and listened to them talking, and that was all they seemed to care about.
They had a private house near the school, and threw parties there. A male frat was located right next door, and they were brother and sister houses.
I only ended up getting into it because I loved Roni, and wanted to do what would please her. I would sit listening to them talking about this boy or that boy, and I wouldn't really say very much, which kind of pissed Roni off.
Anyway, one weekend I went away with the lesbian club, though I ended up lying to Roni and my parents about where I was going. That was because I knew my parents would never be able to understand this, and I didn't even want to start with Roni.
That was the weekend, she claimed, that she was initiated into the club, and when I asked her what happened, she refused to tell me.
"It'll happen to you this coming weekend, Shelley, and they would kill me if they knew that I told you. It's against the rules."
"And after whatever's going to happen happens?" I asked.
"Then you end up becoming a member," she said, smiling.
Well, I didn't really look forward to it, because as I said, I never really cared too much about it one way or the other.
But it's a weekend that I'll just never end up forgetting, because it was my one and only time with men, and I hated it.
I was led into a room, and blindfolded. Then, I could feel hands all over my body, moving to my clothing, and stripping me gently. I didn't really mind it at first, because I thought there were only girls there.
I know for sure that the hands that stripped me were female hands, because I can tell the difference. The hands were small, soft and gentle, and when fingers began to pluck at my nipples, I kind of liked it.
Then ringers were moving to my cunt, and I started to come.
I loved having my cunt rubbed gently, and they were first massaging my cunt lips, then, when I was wet, they were sliding in and out of me, wiggling my stiff clit around. There reached a point where I came so hard, that my knees began to buckle, and I thought I was going to pass out.
It was then that I was led toward a bed. I could feel the hands leading me over so slowly, and they laid me down.
Next, a mouth moved to my cunt, but it was real strange. I still don't know if it was a man between my legs eating me, or if it was a woman.
You see, I could feel hands keeping my legs spread wide apart, as wide apart as they could possibly be spread, it although there had to be a head there, all I could ever feel touching my skin was the tongue.
I thrust myself up, kind of hoping that a face would touch my thigh. After all, I would know a stubbly man's face from a smooth woman's face, but the face kept pulling back each time I thrust up.
I suspected it was a woman at the time, because I didn't even know that there was a man in the room, much less a few of them.
At one point, the tongue had worked my clit over so well, blowing hot air there and wiggling it back and forth, that I was coming hard.
Then, out of nowhere, it happened. I felt a hard cock being slammed into my cunt with such force, that I thought I was going to pass out. I opened my mouth to scream with pain, but someone clamped a hand over my mouth.
I knew it was a male hand, because it was big and strong.
"Hold her down," the one fucking me said, because I couldn't see, but I could tell where the voice was coming from.-
And it was happening. Hands were holding my legs spread, still, and there were hands holding my arms so I couldn't even try to take a swing at the person. The man fucking me was driving his dick in and out of me, hard.
I closed my eyes, under the blindfold, hoping that I would just pass out.
Now I didn't have a hymen. I didn't even think much about it, though I'm sure that if I had had one, it would have hurt more. Still, I never wanted to have a cock in my cunt, ever. I never thought about it once in my life.
The man fucking me sensed as much, and he started to move faster. It was probably because he knew that I was not coming, and he wanted to come before my pussy started to get dry, and it chafed his dick.
A few seconds later, I felt this horrid pulsing, and then he was moaning loud and his cream was shooting into my pussy.
As he pulled out, I heaved a sigh of relief. I thought that it was all over, but within seconds, another dick was moving inside of me.
It had the cream from the first boy's orgasm as lubrication, so it could move in and out of me faster and harder than the first one. Though it was smaller and not even as thick, it hurt as much as the first, because he was going at me so fast.
I opened my mouth to scream then, and that was when someone rammed a dick into my mouth, fast and hard. That dick was really long, and the boy rammed it right in, deep, so that it was in my throat, and I was choking on it.
I couldn't believe it. At one point, I bit into it a little bit, thinking that he might lose his hard-on, and he slapped me on the tits, then yanked my nipple really hard, as if he was going to twist it off.
"If you bite again, I'll pull it off," he warned me, and I opened my mouth all the way, and even managed to kind of wrap my lips around my teeth, out of fear. I didn't want them to abuse me anymore than they were doing.
He let up on my nipple when I was no longer biting into his cock, but I still hated what he was doing. I wouldn't even say that I sucked a cock that time, because it would most definitely be misleading. The thing to call it is a face fuck, because he was just ramming it in and out of my mouth at the rate he wanted to do it.
The only way I got turned on was when I closed my eyes and thought about Peggy, this cute redhead I'd met the weekend before.
She and I had had a hot time in bed, and we had been eating each other for hours. When I thought about the way her juices flowed into my mouth, and how the taste of her juices just turned me on so much, I came really hard.
I started to moan a little bit, and I know that the men fucking me thought I was getting off on the cocks in my mouth and cunt.
I must admit that I lost count as to how many I had to do, but it seemed like as soon as a cock would shoot into my pussy, another would take the place as soon as it pulled out of me. And the same thing went with my mouth.
I was getting sick with all that come, and if nothing else, I was totally convinced of where my head was at after that time.
When it was over, I just lay on the bed, and then, I heard Roni talk.
"You can take off the blindfold now," she said to me, and when I did, I could see that we were left alone in the bedroom. I was still lying on the bed, and she was leaning against a dresser, smiling at me.
"I hope you liked it," she said, and I really think she might have believed I did.
But I shook my head, and told her I hated it, and that it was the worst possible thing that could have happened to me.
"But why?" she asked.
"It was the first time I was ever with a man," I said. "And that's not the way a first time should be. It was a rape, you fucking bitch."
"I didn't know it was your first time with a man," she told me.
I couldn't believe that. I mean, we had been so close, and she had told me when she lost her virginity, but I had never said anything to her, because it had never happened to me before. She just assumed that it had, but I'd been too shy to say anything.
It was then that I came out to her, and she was shocked.
I was shocked, too. Shocked that she had never suspected anything. She said that what we'd done earlier, when we were young, was just play childish games, and I told her they hadn't been games for me.
Anyway, she did promise not to say anything to my parents, and though we're still next door neighbors, and friends, we're not friends like we used to be. She never stays over, and I do believe it's out of fear.
I guess it had to happen that way. Our lives went in two different directions. She's like all the other stupid bitches in the sorority, whose whole life surrounds itself around boys, and whether or not a boy will like her.
And maybe I hated what happened because it was a rape, and it was kind of brutal, but I don't think I would have liked it no matter what. Besides, Peggy and I have been real close since that weekend, and I'm quite happy with that relationship.
CONCLUSION
I had to agree with Shelley when she said that Roni was a fool for thinking she had been with men. I also believe that the girl came up with the idea to have Shelley initiated in this brutal manner, most likely because she knew her friend was a lesbian and thought this would straighten her out.
Because Shelley knew where her head was at, the rape was just a horrible experience for her, but did not leave long-lasting scars the way it could have.
I told Shelley that had she been straight, and had this been her first encounter with men, chances were good that she would have a hard time dealing with them. All her brutal initiation did for her was prove that everything she suspected about her lesbian tendencies were true.
CASE HISTORY FIVE
SUBJECT: Shari P. AGE: Eighteen
INTERVIEW ONE
Shari is an attractive black girl with short kinky hair, wide lips, and a wide nose. When she came to see me, she was wearing a Black Liberation T-shirt, which seemed rather tight on her. She wore no bra, and her large breasts and nipples were prominent.
She was wearing a pair of shorts, too, as it was a hot day, and I could see that she had long, shapely legs. However, she seemed to be quite suspicious of me, perhaps because of the way I smiled when I admired her body.
I sense that because of her brutal sexual initiation, she has a terrible mistrust for all men, and it is something she will have to deal with.
I'll be honest with you, doc, and tell you that I wanted to come and talk to someone about what happened to me years back. When I was fifteen, because that's when it happened to me, and I had no one to talk to.
The only thing was, as long as I was living home with him, I knew that I couldn't even risk it. I knew that if he ever found out about me telling someone, he would just lie about me, like he always does, and then beat me.
Him, is my old man. My fucking father, who, if he died today, I wouldn't give two shits about.
I'm an only child, which is kind of strange, considering how much that nigger man-likes to fuck around. It wasn't until I was about ten that I learned from my mama that the reason I was an only child was because he'd hurt her.
It happened a few months after I was born, she said. I was crying for food in the middle of the night, like any infant would do, and he got so pissed at her, because he was drunk and had a hangover when my crying woke him up, that he started to beat up on her, worse than ever.
When she tried to defend herself, she managed to get him once, good, right in the nuts, and that drained him of energy, enough for her to get up and quiet me down.
But when he got his energy back, he grabbed her by the neck, and she said that I was kind of lucky, because she was still leaning right over the cradle. I was dropped back into it, gently, instead of onto the floor.
He slapped her hard across the face, over and over again, and when she was on her knees kind of begging him to stop, he was still pissed.
"You think you can kick me there and get away with it," he screamed, and to retaliate and get even, he started to kick her between the legs. The only thing was, he'd put on some shoes, so he was really getting her and hurting her.
He just kicked her insides so hard, that she was bleeding, and eventually he realized that he was hurting her, and had to call an ambulance.
Mama was always trying to keep him from getting in trouble. She told me that back then, she lied and told them she'd fallen down some stairs. Anyway, what happened was they had to rip out most of her damaged insides, and she couldn't have no more kids. And he even blamed her for that, she said.
For at age ten, I knew a lot about sex. You know those things when you grow up in a slum area, and everyone is just doing it as much as they can.
She told me that he hardly laid a hand on her after that, and at first, I thought she was happy about it, because I thought his laying a hand on her meant he beat her up, but she explained more. He didn't make love to her after that.
He thought that because her insides were damaged, she would be a terrible lover, and whenever she would remind him that he had damaged her, he would hit her. And she still functioned normally. She could get wet, and feel orgasmic waves, but he didn't talk to her about it, and just never fucked her again.
I think my Mama's happiest moment was when she was dying from cancer, just because she knew she would be leaving that shithead for good.
On her deathbed, she called me over, and whispered in my ear.
"Now, child, I have some money here for you. It's all I could save. You hide it where he can't find it, and when you're of age, you get outta this house. Until then, you just do what he tells you to do, and never try to cross him."
I was only thirteen at the time, and legal age was eighteen, but I promised her that I would do what she wanted, and slipped the money into my bra.
There was a loose floor board in my room, and I hid the money there. It was over four hundred dollars, and I never touched it until I was gonna leave.
He didn't even cry at her funeral, which made me kind of mad, and made me hate him more than I already did. I never thought I could hate him any more than I did because the hatred I had for him already was something fierce, let me tell you. He was, and still is, the most horrible thing God created yet.
He used to kind of come on to me, and he'd always try to spot me naked in the bathroom, but I bought a lock and put it on the door, and another one on my bedroom door.
He would bring women back almost every night, and never close his door.
Once, I was passing by, and I could see this big-titted black bitch laid back on my Mama's bed. Her huge tits was heavin' up and down as he was driving his cock in and out of her pussy, and I could see how huge he was.
I had never seen a cock the size of his before, and let me tell you, I had seen a couple, on some of the boys I went with.
I would sometimes jerk them off, but never let anyone fuck me. I didn't want it to happen until I met someone I could care about.
I was fascinated, though, when I would see my Daddy with another woman. It hurt me that he brought them to my Mama's bed, though she was dead, but the way he fucked them was kind of horrible, too.
It was as if he didn't give two shits about them.
And that time with the big-titted nigger, he was pulling in and out of her like he was putting on some kind of a show. I saw how his huge balls were swinging back and forth, and at one point, he pulled out and moved his cock to her tits. He pressed those two huge black boobs together, then started to fuck them.
She was getting off on it. She raised her head up and started to stick out her long red tongue, so she could flick it back and forth over the head of his cock. Daddy just kept moaning when she did that, and he had to be loving it.
Then, when he was going to come, he turned to look at me, and he winked.
"You watch this now, Shari," he said, and I turned red.
He pulled his cock out from between her tits and started to jerk it all over her face, so the come was landing on her brown skin.
"Bet you didn't think I knew you was there," he laughed, and I realized then that he'd been putting on the show for me.
He had been fucking her that way because he wanted me to see him doing it, and I wanted to turn my head, just to prove to him that I didn't want to see it, but there was something fascinating about the look of his dick.
He kept jerking it, and his cock stayed nice and hard.
Then, he slid back down her body, and pushed her legs up.
"Oh no, don't do that," I heard her moaning, and he slapped her across the face, and told her he would do whatever he wanted to do.
What he did was slam his dick into her ass-hole. I knew because I could see her brown cunt lips, and her thick black patch, and I could see it still, even after he was thrusting himself in and out of her.
I saw the way her ass was raised up off the bed, and when she opened her mouth as if she wanted to scream out, Daddy raised his big fat hand and moved it near her cheek.
"I'll smash the shit out of you if you scream, bitch," he said, with the most threatening tone in his voice. I knew he was serious, and I believe that she knew it would happen too, because she was silent.
I could see her groaning with pain, and at times, she tried to squirm away from him, but he wouldn't let her. His two huge hands moved to her tits and he clawed at them as if he didn't even think of them as being a fleshy part of a person. It was like they were just two big bags for him to abuse.
I knew he was digging his nails into them, because I could see it, and then he was starting to pull at her nipples, too.
There was one point when he actually raised her back right up off the bed, because he was pulling so hard at her nipples.
I saw the way his buttocks were wet with sweat, and I swear, I fantasized about taking a hot branding iron and ramming it first on each buttock, then right up the fucking bastard's ass-hole, until he was begging for mercy.
Just then, the big-titted nigger was begging for mercy, begging for him to come inside of her and get it over with.
He purposely slowed down, as if he wanted to make it last longer for her, and I heard her let out a groan. I felt bad for her, but then again, she had let herself get into it. I wasn't going to try and stop it.
I waited until I heard him moan loud, and sensed that he was coming in her.
Then I just turned and walked back to my room. I didn't even think of locking the door, and a few seconds later, he was smashing it open fast and hard. I could see that there was still come dripping from the head of his cock.
"You little bitch," he said to me. "You didn't even stay to see it all."
"I saw enough."
"Well, one day you're gonna feel this, little bitch," he said to me. "One day you're gonna see it close-up, because it's gonna be happenin' to you."
I was trembling as he said it, and thought he was going to do it then. Instead, he just slammed the door closed to go back to his lady friend, and I ran over and turned the lock, then fell to my knees and started to cry.
INTERVIEW TWO
The second time Shari came to see me, she was wearing a baggy shirt, which showed much less of her figure that the tight T-shirt she'd worn the first time showed, and I sensed that she did this purposely.
She was also wearing baggy jeans, and seemed to be playing down her sexuality a great deal, as if she had thought I was attracted to her the first time, and wanted to make sure that I would not be this time.
She still seemed eager to talk, although I could tell that she was quite nervous when she started this time, because she was going to be reliving something that still pained her to think about.
For the next two years, living at home was hell, because I was so nervous. I did remember my Daddy's threat, and I was sure he would carry it out. I was sure that he would rape me and abuse me, and let me tell you something else.
There were many times during this two year period, between the threat and between the time when it actually happened, when I would think about letting this boy or that boy take me and have me before my Daddy.
There was no boy I was really attracted to, but I thought that maybe I should let some nicer nigger take me first, so that it wouldn't hurt so much when he took me. Each time I'd think like that, I would tell myself that it wouldn't happen like he said it would, and hate him for even making me have to think this way.
When I was fifteen, I met Lincoln, one of the nicest boys I'd ever met.
He had light brown skin, and lovely eyes, and he was real sweet to me. He took me out a few times, and never tried nothing, unlike most of the other nigger boys I dated who seemed to think that if they took you out, you had to blow them at least. I would end up jerking most of them off, because they never let up until you did.
Then, there was a week, while Lincoln and I were dating, where Daddy was put on the night shift at work, and he was coming home at three or four in the morning.
When I thought about it, I decided this would be a good week for Lincoln to come over and make love to me.
After all, I liked him enough for me to want it to happen, and I thought that if Daddy wasn't around, it would be better to have it happen in my bedroom. It would be much better there, than in a car or in the woods.
I invited him over one night, and made him a nice dinner. I even took some money and bought a bottle of wine, and then, at about eight, we went into my room.
I started to get undressed, because I wanted him to see my body and love it. I knew that he did by the smile on his face, and I lay back and spread my legs so he could lay on top of me and kiss me. Lincoln began to lick my neck, and then he was sucking on my nipple, working his tongue over it, blowing his heated breath onto it.
My pussy was getting nice and wet, and I loved the way it felt. He moved his lips down and started to eat my cunt, flicking his tongue back and forth over my clit, working me up so I was juicy and flowing.
Then he pulled his cock out of his pants, but rather than start to fuck me, he turned his body around, so that I could suck him. As he moved his thick cock near my mouth, I felt his mouth moving back to my cunt.
He was eating me so well, that I started to come even harder, and knew that I would start to suck on his cock. It was right near my mouth, and though I had never sucked one before, I liked him enough to want to do it.
Lincoln moaned as I reached for his balls and massaged them, moving my lips to the head of his beautiful dick at the same time.
I started to lick away some of the come that was there, and then I moved my lips all the way down his thick brown shaft. I was able to take most of it into my mouth, but I never tried to get it into my throat.
I felt him trying to push it in, but when I pulled my head back, he just looked at me and gave me a nice smile, as if he understood.
Instead, I moved my head to the base of his cock, to make up for the fact that I didn't want to take it into my throat, and I was moving my hand and mouth up and down his shaft at the same time. I kept rubbing his balls with my other hand. They felt so big, and they even started to throb when he was going to come.
He pulled his mouth away from my cunt to tell me that he was going to come, and when I felt his dick pulsing, then felt the cream spurting out onto my tongue, I loved it. I lapped it up, and he was moaning even louder, and telling me how fucking good it felt, and how much he loved me.
"Oh yeah, Shari, you really do that so well. So fucking well."
And I kept sucking on his cock, thinking that I was now ready to have him in me. I thought that if I kept him in my mouth, he would 'stay hard, and that was just what happened. However, something else happened, too, and I'll always regret the fact that I had sucked him off first. If I hadn't, he would have already fucked me.
For as he started to turn his body around, I could hear some screaming.
"You fucking little whore bitch," I heard, and Lincoln pulled away, just in time for my father to run into the room.
He tried to take a swing at my boyfriend, whose cock had already gone down, but Lincoln just managed to duck and miss the blow. I think my Daddy's fist could have knocked him out cold, had it made contact.
Anyway, my Daddy was screaming for Lincoln to get the fuck out of the house, and that boy just ran like a jack rabbit.
I ran to my door then, for Daddy had run into the living room to throw him out, and I knew he would come back for me.
I was fumbling with the lock, having slammed the door closed. I was so nervous that I couldn't seem to get the lock to turn, and then I felt the weight of his body on the other side of the door.
He rammed it open, and sent me flying back. I hit my head on my desk, and must have been out for a few seconds, because when I woke up, I was on my bed.
He was holding both of my hands up over my head, with only one of his big hands, and he was slapping my face, trying to bring me around.
"You little slut bitch," he said. "You was gonna fuck that boy, wasn't you? You was gonna let him work his dick into your pussy. Well, he didn't, and now I'm gonna be the first one to take you. Bitch."
He slapped me hard then, and it was only when he moved the lower half of his body that I felt his cock. He had it out of his pants, and it had been resting on my cunt patch and belly the whole time. It was so fucking huge.
It was like the size of a policeman's billy club, I was thinking, and deep down, I kind of wished I had one then, to ram it across his face.
I struggled to try and pull my hands free, but he had big hands, and a strong grip. He pulled back, just a bit, then pointed his dick down at my pussy lips. He pressed the head between my cunt lips, causing me unbearable pain.
Then, Daddy rammed it into me as hard as he could, and as I felt my hymen being ripped through, he just moaned real loud.
"Yeah, still wet from when that fucker ate you," he moaned. "And you're the tightest piece of pussy I've ever had."
I felt like my body was being ripped apart. He started to thrust it in and out of me so fast and so hard, like I had seen him doing it to that big-titted nigger years back. Since that time, I never bothered to watch him with others, even though I could hear what was going on in his room.
His cock was just too big for me to handle, and my cunt kept throbbing with pain during the whole time that he fucked me.
He was putting on kind of a show for me, I could tell, but he was also trying not to come right away. I could feel the way his cock started to throb in me, and then he would ram it in deep and hard, and hold it in there, until the pulsations would subside. When I started to whimper, he slapped me across the face, over and over again.
"How the fuck do you expect me to get turned on when you keep crying like some little fucked-up bitch?" he asked me. "You just lie there nice and quiet, and you moan a little bit to make me think you're enjoying it."
I wouldn't give him the satisfaction. I even spit into his face.
Of course, that just infuriated him more, and he w as smacking my head back and forth with his big fist the whole time.
I honestly believe that turned him on, because when he started to do it at a steady rate, I could feel the way his dick was throbbing in me.
That time, he kept thrusting, and he went all the way, until he was coming so hard in me. And the worst thing about it was his size. Since he was huge, and I was so tight, even when he went limp, he was still filling me, and he knew it.
He was not even satisfied with just one orgasm, and he kept fucking me until he had come two more times inside of me.
Then he pulled out, and I passed out. I woke up the next morning.
We never said anything to each other about it, though he had to remember, even though he'd smelled drunk. After all, my face was a beaten mess, and the swelling did not go down for a few days.
Well, now I don't live there, and I've made it with a few other boys, but nothing has ever happened. I lay back and let them fuck me, so that they can get off, but I still think of my Daddy, and what he did, and never get turned on.
I hope he dies a slow lingering death, that brings him as much pain during those last few hours of his life, as he brought me during those horrifying minutes.
CONCLUSION
I believe that if Shari ever wants to function normally as a woman, she will have to go through a few more years of intense therapy. When I told her so, she broke into tears, and said she could never afford it.
I offered her my services, free of charge, because I like her a great deal, and can understand what she's been through.
Her father's brutal rape attack, is the kind of attack that can influence a girl for the rest of her life. With no previous intercourse experiences, that first one will linger in her mind forever, haunting her whenever someone tries to take her. I'm sure that I can help her overcome her fears, but it is the kind of thing that will not happen overnight. One positive thing is that Shari has let other boys have her, which is a step in the right direction. Now she must learn to enjoy it.
CASE HISTORY SIX
SUBJECT: Connie G. AGE: Seventeen
INTERVIEW ONE
Connie G. is a stunning blonde girl-woman, and I say that because, until the time when she told me her age, I was somewhat shocked.
She has a lovely figure, which is the figure of a woman, and the face and legs of a woman as well. In fact, I even asked to see her birth certificate, because I could not believe that she was telling me the truth.
It was only when she started to talk that I noticed many child-like qualities in her voice and mannerisms. Still, I realized why she was so put-off when I wanted proof of her young age, because this has been a problem that's haunted her for years.
I was sexually developed when I was age eleven, Doctor, and let me tell you that although many of my girlfriends tended to envy me, I didn't feel good about it at all. I mean, I would always be cruised by men on the streets, even when I was that young, because even at that age, I looked much older.
I know that now, at seventeen, I look like I'm about thirty, and although it's fun when it comes to getting into clubs and places like that, I believe that it leads to more trouble than anything else.
At least it has for me. You see, my mother realized that I had matured rather fast, and so, at age eleven, she sat down and taught me all about sex.
She told me how a man's cock fits into a woman's cunt, and how it can bring the woman pleasure. She tried to put everything on my own level, because I was so young and didn't really understand it all.
Still, I knew that my body was beginning to change. I was having my period, and I was feeling these feelings running through me.
Can you believe that at age eleven, I masturbated for the first time. I didn't even really know what was happening.
I was lying in bed late at night, and I could feel these sensations starting to run through my pussy. I didn't know what was going on. It was something like an itch, and like any itch, I had to scratch it.
My breasts were already large, and I had a full patch of blonde hair.
I slid my hand into my pajama bottoms and started to rub myself. I played with my cunt lips, and they were getting wet, and the itch was inside of me, and it was starting to itch more and more, the wetter I got.
So I slid my fingers into my cunt. My mother had taught me about a woman's clit and stuff like that, and when I felt my erect love button, I started to wiggle it back and forth as gently as I could.
Suddenly, I started to explode. I could feel my pussy spasming, and the juices just kept flowing out of me, all over my fingers and pajama bottoms. The bottoms in fact, were quite soaked because of all the juices, and though my mother had taught me about masturbation, she said that only a little bit of juice flowed.
I thought for sure that I had broken something inside of my body, because the spasms just kept happening, and the flow was so great, that soon more and more of my pajama bottoms were soaked.
I started to cry, so loud, that my mother came running into the room.
She looked at me, and I could tell that she was upset. She closed the door so that neither one of my snoopy older brothers could look in.
Then, she told me to pull my fingers out of my cunt. The thing was, even though I had played with myself, I still had the itch. I hadn't really cured myself of that, which was the whole idea of what I'd been doing.
My mother seemed mad, until I told her that I had an itch.
Then, she started to understand, and she told me about sexual yearnings.
"I'm just scared for you, Connie," she said, and I wanted to know why. "Because you're so young, and you're beginning to feel certain kinds Ox feelings that you just can't possibly understand. Your body is old enough, but your mind is not."
"Then what's going to happen?" I asked her, and she shook her head.
"I don't know, honey. All I know is that you look much older than you are, and I can tell that you're going to keep developing at this age. Men can be strange, honey. Men can be interested in a woman just because of the way she looks."
"Is that bad?"
"No. But if they only want to use you, then it will be bad. Look, I've tol; you all about sex, and intercourse. Are there any things that you don't understand?"
"I don't know. I have to think about it more. I don't really know if I understand any of it, Mommy. I don't know what's happening."
"Then let me tell you this," she said. "When you start school this year, I bet a lot of the older boys are going to be interested in you. Believe me when I tell you that many of them are going to be interested in you for one thing only."
"What's that?"
"Your looks and your body. And some of them, who know better, are going to try and talk you into doing certain things. Making love to them. I want you to promise me that you won't let it happen until you know for sure. Until you feel, in your mind and soul, that you understand it all."
"I swear that I won't," I said to her. "I really don't want it to happen to me at such a young age, Mommy. I really don't."
"Then if you don't want it to, it's not going to happen," she said, and she kissed me gently on the forehead, and left my room.
For the next few months, I would feel that itch, but I would resist playing with myself. When I did, the flow was not as great as it had been the other time. That first time, maybe because it had been the first, had been like a never-ending flow of cunt juices, but after that, the orgasms were normal.
Still and all, she had been right. In public school, it wasn't that bad, but when I first entered Junior High School, most of the boys in the senior class couldn't take their eyes off of me, and I thought of what my mother said.
I thought that they were just interested in me for one thing, and once, when one of the seniors offered me a ride home in his new car, and I accepted, I leanred that my Mommy was right. He drove off somewhere, and pulled over on the side of the road, then started to kiss me and put his hands all over me. j I felt him grabbing at my big tits through my blouse, and more than anything else, it just made me feel cold. It freaked me out, too.
I tried to get out of the car, but I couldn't. He was much stronger than I was, and he kept pressing his body down on top of mine.
Finally, I told him I would jerk him off. I though it would be easier to just agree to that than to have him rape me. I knew that if he kept it up, he would have ripped my skirt and panties off, and raped me.
As he pulled his hard cock out of his pants, I vowed never to accept a ride home with that one anymore. I didn't let him push my head down to his cock, the way he seemed to want to, nor did I even look at it.
I felt the warm cock flesh in my hand, and rubbed my hand up and down over the shaft. It only took a few pumps before I heard him moaning loud, and then when I moved my hand back up near the head, I could feel the cream.
I kept rubbing it all over his shaft, and a few seconds later, it was over.
I thought about telling my mother what had happened, and maybe if I had, I could have avoided the brutal rape that would occur a few weeks later. Because she probably would have done something to report this boy to the school, for forcing me to do what I had done to him . I mean, in a way, it was force. It was either volunteer to jerk him off or have him throw himself on me and rape me.
When I got home, I ran up to my room, stripped, and showered as fast as I could, washing my hand off over and over.
And when I was drying myself off, I looked at my mature body and cried, thinking that I wished I could have been flat-chested and ugly, instead of stacked and lovely.
INTERVIEW TWO
The second time that Connie came to see me, she had a whole batch of pictures with her, to show me what she looked like years back.
Now, I could really believe that she was only seventeen, because when she was thirteen, she looked like she was twenty-two, and so on and so on. I have never met anyone like her, and I could understand her problem more and more.
As I said, the rape occurred a few weeks after that. I think this boy must have told some of the others what had happened.
A few of them offered to drive me home, but I always refused. It was much safer to be on the bus with the other kids.
But Bruce, this bastard, who I didn't think of as a bastard until it happened, figured out a way to con me.
One day, he asked me out after school, and bought me a soda. Then he offered to walk me home, as we'd missed the bus, and he did walk me right home. For the next few days, he did the same thing, never trying anything with me.
Then, one afternoon, he suggested we take a walk to this park, and I was a little nervous, thinking it would happen then. It did not, and that was another way in which he kind of conned me. You see, he knew what he was going to try to do, and he was just waiting for me to learn to trust him.
It only took about two weeks before I trusted him, because he told me how much he liked me and how much he respected me, while showing me that he did, too.
One Saturday afternoon, he invited me over to go swimming in the pool that they had in back of his house, and I loved the idea of it.
I was wearing my bikini, and he hardly even looked at me. Then, his mother came out and said that she and his father were going into town to do some shopping I didn't realize we would be left all alone.
I was not scared, however, until about fifteen minutes later, when his friend Roger came over. Roger was this blonde-haired kid, that I couldn't stand.
I was lying on the lounge, getting some sun, when all of a sudden, he felt someone starting to rub my tits through my bikini top. It was Roger, and I pushed his hands away as fast as I could.
Then I looked over and saw Bruce standing right next to the lounge. He had pulled his bathing suit off, and his cock was hard as a rock, and sticking straight out.
I tried to get up, but Roger grabbed me by the shoulders and held me down. Then, he pulled by bikini top off, as Bruce was starting to pull my panties down. As he looked at my heaving tits, and my fully developed pussy, I could see the way his dick was bobbing up and down in front of me.
"I'm gonna fuck you now," he moaned, and I started to beg him not to.
I couldn't do anything because Roger was holding my shoulders down. Bruce just moved right between my legs, and without even rubbing me to try and get me wet, without even trying to lick me, he just rammed his cock into me.
Roger let go of my shoulders then, because the weight of Bruce's body was keeping me flat on the lounge chair. He had to move his hand to my mouth anyway, because he knew that I was going to let out a scream.
All I could feel was this pain ripping through my body as he rammed his cock in and out of me, and I wanted to die.
I started to bite into Roger's hand, and I know that I caused him to bleed, but all he did was slap me across the face.
I was happy that Bruce started to throb inside of me, and within a few more seconds, he was shooting into me.
As he pulled off, Roger moved between my legs. His cock was harder and thicker than Bruce's, and he rammed it into me, too.
He started to thrust a little bit slower that Bruce had, and I was looking at Bruce with such hatred. I started to curse at him, telling him that he was the most horrible boy in the world, and that I was going to accuse them both of rape.
Meanwhile, Roger was thrusting and biting into my tits at the same time. I could feel his teeth all over them, and he wasn't even doing anything to turn me on.
It was like my mother had said to me, a long while back.
Boys were going to think that I was all ready for them , because of the way that I looked, but I was only thirteen, Doctor, and was hating it. My mind was not into it at all, because I did not want to be fucked so young
While Roger kept fucking me, Bruce moved his cock to my mouth. He forced me to open my mouth, and he rammed his cock between my lips. There was still more come in his shaft, and I tasted it when he told me to suck him.
I felt Roger pulsing soon afterwards, and he shot his load into me. I felt him thrusting in and out hard for those last few seconds, and when he pulled back and stepped off of me, I managed to get him back.
I kicked my foot up and hit him right in the balls, hard. I wished that I had my boots on so it would have hurt him more, because as it was, I was completely naked and not wearing any shoes or anything.
But he did double over in pain, and I thought he was going to try to kill me. It was Bruce who talked him out of it.
He pulled his cock out of my mouth, and then told me to get dressed.
"If you say that we raped you," he told me, with a very angry tone of voice, "we're just going to say you wanted it."
"That's right, you ball-busting bitch," Roger said, still doubled over in pain. "Everyone at school thinks you're a little whore to begin with, and there's two of us against one of you. We'll say you wanted it."
I knew then and there that they had planned this whole thing for a long time. I don't know if they knew that Bruce's parents would be going out that day, but I'm sure that if it hadn't happened by the pool, it would have happened somewhere else, at some other time when they'd get me alone.
I got dressed and ran home, and cried in my mother's arms.
She called Bruce's parents and told them what happened, and I know that he was punished for the next few weeks, because they made sure he came right home after school and didn't let him go out at night.
But I thought both of them deserved to die, and there was nothing I could do.
For the next few years, I tried to avoid going out with boys, even though most of them wanted to take me out. It was like I couldn't trust anyone, and I really hated myself for being so lovely, just because this was like the price I had to pay.
Last month I met this guy Ken who's really kind of sweet, and I know that he-likes me, but the thing is, I don't know for sure if he just-likes me for my looks, or what. He does take me out and show me a good time, and he hasn't tried anything with me yet, but I sense it's just a matter of time.
And I'm real scared. I mean, I felt nothing that first time, and I'm afraid that I might not feel anything this time, either.
I think, some nights, that I want him, and hen, on other nights, I think about those two boys and what they did to me. I also think about Bruce, and how he lost interest in me after having me.
My mother's been telling me that most boys tend to like a girl until they have her, and I like Ken, but don't want him to have me and then forget about me. So I'm really kind of confused.
CONCLUSION
All these questions that Connie is asking herself now convinced m e that she is indeed ready to have a man make love to her. I asked her more about Ken, who, it turns out, is an older, mature man.
Since she does have some feelings for him, I told her that she must try it again. After all, the longer she waits, the more trouble she is going to have.
Another thing I told her is to try not to think too much about whether or not she's going to like it particularly while it's going on. I believe that will only detract from the physical feelings she could have.
I did tell her that if she starts to feel fear when Ken is making love to her, chances are good that he'll understand. If she does, too, I recommended that she come back and talk to me about it, and maybe I can help her deal with it.
CASE HISTORY SEVEN
SUBJECT: Wendy K. AGE: Sixteen
INTERVIEW ONE
Wendy had made three separate appointments to see me. Each time she cancelled. After several months she phoned. There was great urgency in her tone when she said she had to see someone that afternoon. My schedule was tight, but I felt I had to make time to see this desperate young girl.
When Wendy arrived she was late. She did not seem as frightened in person as she had on the phone. In fact, she was rather composed.
She was dressed properly in a blazer and plaid pleated skirt. Her hair was arranged neatly in a page boy cut. She was clean and neat and could be readily identified as upper middle class.
As she arranged herself in a large leather chair, I could see she had great poise. When she removed her glasses, she revealed a face exceedingly attractive that could make the cover of any fashion magazine. But as she began to speak her hands trembled and I saw she was bravely holding back her tears. I handed her a box of tissues as one eye began to water. She broke into sobs that lasted ten minutes. It became difficult to get Wendy to speak coherently for the following taped transcript.
My story is so horrible, doctor. I don't know where to begin. It all happened three months ago. Three months and four days, to be exact. It's been a nightmare for me ever since. I can't sleep. It's hard to eat. I keep counting the days since it all happened. I keep counting the days, thinking the time will pass and I will get it all out of my mind. But the memory doesn't leave me. The harder I try to forget, the more it haunts me. I find I can't even look at a man any more with out remembering what he did to me.
I don't know where to begin. I guess I have to start at the beginning. Only I'm not that sure with where the beginning is. I want to get it out. I have to tell someone. Only thing is, I'm afraid if I tell you, you will think I'm dirty and disgusting. You see doctor, I come from a very strict family. No one ever talked about sex in our home. My brother and I were never allowed to see certain films or use bad language.
My mother never even told me about menstruation. It was a real shock to me the first time I got my period. like I really thought I had some kind of internal injury. And then when I told her about it, she never really explained. But that's not my problem now. My problem is much worse. But I'm really going to have to explain more to you about my family before you'll understand the trouble I'm in.
like I said my parent's were always very strict with me and my brother Tom. Actually, they never gave Tom such a hard time. You know, because he's a boy. I guess it was the old double standard. Or maybe they felt with a daughter, they had to protect me more. Maybe because girls can get pregnant and that would be a real family disgrace.
You see, doctor, my family is very society conscious. Sometimes I think they care more about what others think than how their children feel. I mean, for instance, they send me and Tom to this expensive private school. I'd rather go to the High School of Music and Art in the city. I really want to become an actress one day. But my parents want me to go to this stuffy up tight place because that's where all these rich little farts go. Excuse me for cursing doctor. But it's true. They're all a bunch of little farts who don't know the first thing about real life.
Ever since I was sure I wanted to be an actress, I knew I had to have real life experiences. Maybe it was just that my home life was so protective. Maybe it's also because I'm very rebellious inside. I really am doctor. I mean if someone tells me to do things one way, I'll do it the other way. It's not that I mean to intentionally. I don't even know why it is. Maybe that's something you can help me with.
I'm getting off the track. I know why I keep telling you about other things. It's because I don't want to get to the real story. Now I feel like I want to go home. I feel like procrastinating. It's just not coming out. I mean I want to tell you. But its like something in me is so terribly ashamed.
I was telling you how I always knew I would have to get out and see the world.
There was something in me driving me to have unusual experiences. I just never wanted to grow up like the rest of stuffy, conservative Westchester.
So, one day, I packed a few of my belongings and I decided I would run away. I thought I'd go to live in New York. I mean, there are a lot of young actresses there who are around my age. Sixteen really isn't that young. And besides, in a lot of ways I'm very mature for my age. And there are a lot of people who tell me I look at least twenty.
I was going to tell my parents about my plan. It really seemed ridiculous to make it all so dramatic. I didn't want them to worry about me. I really wasn't trying to make them upset. But I knew if I told them the truth they would never let me go. So the only one I told my secret to was my brother Tom.
Now I'm getting to the heavy part. But first you have to understand my relationship with my brother. Tom and I have always been very close. We've always shared our most intimate secrets together. We're only a year apart. Actually, ten months, to be exact. So we have the same friends and all that.
Well doctor, I've never in my whole life ever told anyone this before. And I don't think Tom has ever told anyone either. There's been a lot of guilt about it for years. And I think both of us have really needed to confide to someone.
Alright, I'm going to say it now for the first time. You see Tom and I never really made it together. I mean we haven't had actual intercourse. But for a long time we've been experimenting sexually. First it started out where we wanted to practice kissing with each other. It was just to try it out. You know, so that when the real time came for us to be with a boyfriend or a girlfriend, we'd be good at it.
We used to come home from school and lock ourselves up in the bathroom. That was the only room in the house that had a lock. And we had to be sure we didn't get caught. I mean, even though it was only kissing, it would be awfully embarrassing to be caught. It's not the kind of thing for a brother and sister to be doing.
We both knew there were laws against incest. We were fully aware that we were wrong to do what we were doing. But at first we just kept telling ourselves that there was no sexual attraction. You know, like I said before, we were just practicing until our true love came along. '
Neither one of us knew we'd turn the other on so much. We really got hot and bothered after the first time. It's like I touched his lips and every part of my body got electrified. I never felt pulsations like that in my vagina. All of a sudden it was like there was a pounding between my legs. You know, like a real urgency to rub it. I never had that feeling ever before in my life. It was really wonderful. But at the same time I found myself frightened. It was a natural feeling and all. There was nothing dirty or perverted about it. You know, like having to eat or go to the bathroom. That's how natural it all felt.
like I said, we were only kissing. He was hugging me close to him and I could feel his balls rubbing against me. This was the first time I ever felt a penis. I'd never even seen one in person. Oh, I mean I'd seen pictures in books. But I've never actually seen a real live one before. The idea of it frightened me. But at the same time I felt very curious.
This is going to sound real silly to you doctor, but I have to tell you how I started to think. Here I was with this real urgency between my crotch. I mean my vagina was throbbing like crazy and my pants were getting all sticky wet. I almost thought I had made in them, my vagina was dripping so much. Well, I got this real urge to have Tom stick his penis into my vagina. You know, just to try it out. I just wanted to see what it would be like.
I didn't want him to break me or anything. I knew I didn't want to lose my virginity yet. I just wasn't ready for that yet. I mean, maybe a lot of girls lose it when there real young these days. But I still feel very romantic about that stuff. I always thought it would be a very beautiful thing to save it for my husband. I thought it would be really something in this day and age to marry a guy and then give him the surprise of his life. I mean today it would be a real surprise for a guy to find out that his-wife was a virgin.
I used to daydream about it, thinking how good it would make him to think I waited lor my true love. Do you think that's really crazy?
With Tom it was only practicing. We both wanted to get really good at it. But as I felt his penis getting harder against my stomach, I just knew that Tom wanted to get inside me too.
I thought it would be alright if I just let him put it in for a minute. So we quickly took off all our clothes. We were real detached about it at first. You know, like we were performing a scientific experiment. Well, that's the way we were both trying to act. But that's not the way we really felt. Both of us were burning up with heat. Our hearts were pounding a mile a minute. At the same time I felt goose bumps all over. My vagina was itching for him. It was really quivering with incredible passion. When I put my hand to it, it really was wet. There was this thick slimy goo pouring out. The feeling of it was so sensual. I never knew what it meant to feel erotic like that.
Then I saw Tom's shaft for the first time in my life. like I said, doctor, I'd never seen a penis before in real life. I was kind of frightened to look down at it. So I didn't for a long time. I felt him glide it across my stomach. The thought of his naked penis right against my skin was driving me wild with desire.
I looked down. I couldn't believe my eyes. It was the most beautiful, pleasing thing I ever saw in my whole life. It was real big. I mean it sure was bigger than I ever imagined from the pictures in biology books. I loved the way it looked so strong and hard. At the same time the skin was real smooth. But there was this real power about it. like it was a rocket ready to take off. I just looked at it and Tom seemed to get larger.
So there he stood, naked, looking real good. I didn't ever want to admit how handsome I always thought my brother was. But I guess I can tell you that I always felt a sexual attraction for him. Maybe that's not normal. Maybe I should feel ashamed about that. But it's the truth.
I don't know why. But something in me just made me fall to my knees. It was like my whole body felt weak. But I fell to my knees because I had this crazy urgency to put Tom's cock inside my mouth. I don't know if that was a sick desire, doctor. But it felt like the most natural thing in the world to do.
Tom really loved it when I put it inside my mouth. He asked if I could try and suck on it. At first it was a little hard, because his shaft is so damn big. But finally I figured out how to do it. He said he loved it and didn't want me to stop. He said if I kept it up for a long time he would do the same for me. I had no idea what he meant. I really wanted something inside of me more than anything else.
So finally, we were laying on the floor. He was licking my twat and I was still sucking on his cock. It was the best feeling in the whole world when that explosion inside me went off. I can't even describe the way it was. But it was like all this power was letting lose just from his sucking on my clitoris.
Then he got harder and harder. And I guess you could say he exploded too. All this hot frothy cream shot into my mouth. At first I thought it might be poisonous or something. I was afraid to swallow it. But it tasted so good to me that I didn't care. I figured if I was going to die, that would be the best way.
So we've been messing around like that a lot. Sometimes we'd even play sick so that we could stay home from school to fool around. It's been really something else to have a brother for a lover. In a lot of ways it's made us much closer. But maybe we got too close. I mean, I think we got a little too attached to each other. I think that was part of the reason why I wanted to run away for a little while. Because I knew that as long as I was living in the same house with Tom, I'd never get to meet anyone.
I mean, first my parents were real strict with me, watching everything I was doing. Now Tom was getting to be the same way. He just couldn't understand that I needed to have my own space. I really needed to get away from him as much as I needed to get away from my parents. It was like I felt there was too much pressure for everyone. I had to get away I had to be me.
Tom caught me packing my things. That's when the trouble started. Oh doctor, it was so horrible the way he got so mad and started to scream. I was really frightened when he called me a dirty slut. I was so scared he was going to turn around and tell my parents about everything that had been going on with us. I just wanted to get out of there as fast as I possibly could. I didn't even want to take anything with me. I just wanted to get out of that house and run.
He kept calling me a cock sucker. He said I was a dirty whore and that I would end up being a prostitute if I ran away to New York. The thought of what he said frightened me. But I think what frightened me the most was that inside I felt what he said was true. I mean it wouldn't have bothered me if I didn't believe a word he said, would it?
But like I said, I did believe him. And maybe partially I was thinking about being a hooker when I got to New York. I knew I could be real good at it. I know there is a lot of money at it. It could help me along while I tried to become an actress. And besides it would be good training for me when I met producers who wanted to try me out for parts. But at the same time there was always this big conflict with wanting to stay a virgin. You know, all that romantic stuff. Maybe it's all bullshit to want to be a pure virgin. But it was the way I was raised and it's hard to get out of that conflict.
You see, I understand a lot about myself. I mean I can see it all very clearly. It's like there are two parts of me. One wants to be virginal and pure. And then there is the other part that really loves the idea of being a dirty whore.
This isn't it at all really, I mean, now I'm still avoiding getting to the horrible part of my story. I know why I do that too. I mean I know exactly why I keep avoiding telling you about the real nightmare. But I guess you must think what I've already told you is pretty bad.
You know what doctor? I'm just going to spit it out. I'm going to finally say it. Oh, no I can't, I can't. How can I tell anyone how I got fucked by my own father? Tom had told him I was leaving that night. I guess Tom became so desperate and angry with my leaving that he went and told my Father everything that had happened between us.
It was awful. He just tore into my room with a whip in his hands. Then Tom started pulling off my clothing. He really hurt me as he thrashed me across my face. When I was full naked my father kept beating my body with the whip. I never felt so much pain in my whole life. Then he made me get down on my knees and . ... Oh, doctor, I feel so weak. I can't go on with my story.
At this point Wendy was a total wreck. Her whole body was trembling and she had broken out in a cold sweat. I thought it best to arrange for another appointment. Besides my schedule was tight and I was pressed for time.
INTERVIEW TWO
When Wendy arrived for her next interview there was a startling change in her appearance. It was as though the other part of her personality, that wanted to be more sexually free, was coming out. She was no longer dressed as a prim school girl. Rather, she was dressed quite seductively in tight pants and spiked heels. Her bare halter top revealed the deep cleavage of her full breasts. Her hair seemed intentionally mussed, as though creating a look of having just fallen out of bed. I suggested she lay down on the couch in my office and finish telling me her story.
I forget where I left off doctor. But first I have to tell you how good I've been feeling about myself since I met you. I know I haven't even gotten to the horrible sexual nightmare yet. But just the fact that I know I have someone who understands and who won't judge me as being disgusting. Just knowing that makes me really feel wonderful.
Well, I think I left off at the part where my father came in with the whip and Tom was pulling my clothes off. I think I forgot to tell you that while my father was whipping my naked body, Tom was pulling real hard on my nipples.
When we used to mess around he liked to play with my nipples a lot. I really loved the way they felt when he'd take them in his mouth and suck them hard. It kind of gave me a feeling in my twat that was so good. But now he was pulling on them real hard. like he was really being sadistic. There was no doubt in my mind that he really wanted to hurt me. And maybe that was what was so painful. I mean we really had a lot of love between us once. We had some beautiful times together that we shared. And now to see it all end up like this kind of broke my heart. Maybe knowing that Tom wanted to hurt me was more painful than the actually lashes from my Father's leather whip. But I have to admit that the whip really hurt me too. I mean, he wasn't just fooling around with that thing. He was really out to see blood. And I was. There was blood all over. I think that probably made them both happy. I never knew that either one of them hated me so much. I never imagined that they would both enjoy abusing me to that extent.
When they made me go to my knees, both of them pulled out their cocks. I had never seen my Father's before. I was really embarrassed to look. Inside I knew how disgusting the whole situation was. I couldn't believe that they were both doing this to me.
For a minute I thought I was dreaming. But when my father pushed his hot meat into my mouth, then I knew for sure it was real.
I remember the salty taste of his flesh. And I remember the way he pounded his enormous cock all the way into the back of my throat. I thought for sure I was going to choke.
But he didn't stop, it just got worse, he was . pounding so deeply into my throat. I was crying and screaming. I pleaded and begged for them to let me go. But then they became more furious with me. They took the sheet and ripped a piece off. They stuffed my mouth with the rag and wrapped another piece around my mouth.
Then they started to laugh. It was all a big joke to them. They said they were finished with that hole. "Now on to the next," my Father said. I think at that point I fell unconscious. I'm pretty sure I blacked out. Because when I woke up I was chained to the shower curtain rod in the bathroom. And I don't remember how I ever got there. So I'm pretty sure I blacked out.
like I said, Doctor, they had my hands chained above my head. When I came back I could see my image in the bathroom mirror facing me. I can't tell you what a shock that was to open up my eyes and see myself hanging there with blood dripping all over my body.
I could feel something moving in and out of my ass hole. I couldn't imagine what was going on. But it was one of the most painful things I've ever experienced in my whole life. It certainly was the most unnatural sensation. I mean it's natural for things to go out of the ass hole. But it's like defying gravity to push anything up an ass hole. Maybe that sounds up tight to you doctor. I mean I've heard of people having anal sex since that time. But I can't tell you how horrible it felt in that moment.
I tried to scream. And I guess I did scream. But my mouth was so stuffed that I'm sure no one was able to hear me. I looked down and I saw Tom on the floor. It looked like he was taking a rest. This made me think they'd been going at it a long time and that it had been quite a while since I had passed out. It also made me realize that it was my Father who stood behind me pushing his cock in and out. Gosh, it really went up so high. It felt like he was ripping me apart.
Then I felt him pull out. And he must have shot his hot come all over my back. At least that's what it felt like. Oh, Doctor, I can't tell you how the whole memory of this disgusts me. The thing I fear the most is that sex once seemed so beautiful and exciting to me. Now
I'm afraid that this experience has totally turned me off. I think I'll never be able to enjoy being with a man again.
I think they must have become bored playing with me in the bathroom. They undid the ropes around my wrists and carried me back into the bedroom. Here they threw me on the bed and tied my ankles to the bed. Then my Father got on top of me and shoved his big cock deep into my twat.
I couldn't believe my own Father was doing this to me. He just kept on thrusting and pounding. Each time it seemed his huge cock was getting in deeper. I realized that that was the end of my precious virginity. But my Father seemed pretty happy that he had gotten to it before anyone else.
When he pulled out he shot his hot come all over my face. Never once did he speak a word. That was what was so strange. He never yelled at me about running away. He never did anything like that. He was just so totally absorbed in fucking me, I guess.
Then my Father gave me over to Tom. It was as though I was just an object. It was as though my only purpose in life was to provide them pleasure.
Suddenly I realized, as Tom stuck his cock deep inside my hole that he could never have loved me. If he did he would never treat me like that. I couldn't believe the anger in his thrust. It was as though each time he pushed into me he was relieving his own anger and his hatred.
I turned and saw my Father watching us. There was a real sick grin on his face. I realized that he had to be mentally ill. Even as Tom was thrusting inside of me I was thinking about how sick they both must be. I don't think I could hate them. I mean even though they treated me like a piece of shit, I don't feel hate inside my heart.
Maybe the truth is that I've just stopped feeling anything at all. But whatever it is I'm not angry at them. I almost wish I could be. I wish I could scream. I wish I had the ability to hurt them like they've hurt me. But that feeling just isn't inside of me.
In fact when I fantasize about tying them up and beating them, I feel terribly frightened. I even feel guilty for having these thoughts. Sometimes I think of running away. I don't know why I continue to live there anymore. But I'm afraid to go anywhere. I keep thinking they'll only come after me and do it all again. Oh, Doctor, it was so sordid and horrible. I can't believe a parent could do such a thing to a child.
There have been times that I've thought of going to my Mother. I've wanted to get it out of my system and tell her about it. But every time I go to her my story gets stuck in my throat. I think if I tell her she won't believe me any way. So I just stop.
Tom acts like nothing has ever happened. He's really been strange lately. I keep thinking that they're going to both attack me again. I even bought a lock for my bedroom door so that I can fall asleep feeling safe at night.
I can't tell you how hard it is to face my Father. I really can't believe he can sit with me at the dinner table. I guess in his mind he just pretends it never happened. I guess he figures it was a good way to teach me a lesson.
Well Doctor, maybe it did teach me not to run away from home. But it has really filled me with a lot of fears. I don't know if I will ever be able to have a normal relationship with a man after this. I worry a little bit about not being a virgin anymore. I know that part sounds a little funny. But I would have at least liked to have chosen who I gave it up to. I kind of feel that something very precious has been stolen from me and I :feel resentful about that. But most of all there is this problem of not wanting to put anything in my mouth. Everything reminds me of a man's cock and it's really a horrible nightmare. Do you think it's possible that one day I'll feel like a normal person again?
CONCLUSION
There was no doubt in my mind that Wendy was suffering from depression. Instead of directing her anger to her father and brother, she was directing it internally toward herself. As a result she was suffering from loss of appetite and sleep, usual symptoms of depression.
I have every confidence that after a few more sessions, Wendy will become more in touch with her feelings. Then she will be capable of dealing with the situation directly, which will most probably mean moving out of her parents home. I have suggested that she begin applying to colleges out of town.
She is an intelligent young lady with great compassion and insight. These fine qualities should enable her to make the ; adjustment. There is no doubt in my mind that with time and the proper guidance, Wendy will eventually have a successful sexual relationship with a man.
CASE HISTORY EIGHT
SUBJECT: Dina L. AGE: Fifteen
INTERVIEW ONE
Dina L. was referred to me by the State Correctional Office. This is usually not my practice, but I agreed to take Dina on as a patient once I understood she had a particular problem which is my specialty.
When she first came into my office she seemed ill at ease. She was shabbily dressed and rather unkempt looking. But I could immediately see that beneath her waifish look, there was a beautiful and wholesome young woman waiting to be discovered.
Dina chose the chair furthest from me and sat there timidly. Her behavior was a direct contradiction to her record of juvenile delinquency. It seemed that in the past month, Dina had stolen more than five hundred dollars worth of merchandise from a department store. But more recently she had been charged with raping a young woman. In spite of her aggressive behavior, she was now acting timid and shy and it was quite difficult to get the following taped transcript.
I guess you know why they sent me here. I mean I guess they told you about all the things I've been doing over the past few months. Well, that's not all there is to me. There is a whole lot more to my story. You only heard about the things I've been doing wrong. Well, I had to get to speak to someone. I begged them to send me to talk with a doctor, some how I felt that a doctor would at least have some understanding about all the things the world has been doing to me since I came into this fuckin' world. I mean, I ain't had a good day in my life. Sure there's a lot of anger and a hell of a lot of hatred in me. But if you knew my story, you'd understand why.
I've tried telling people all about what happened to me in my childhood. I was what you call a battered child. My parents used to beat me up just for the fun of it. I'd end up in the hospital all the time. I spent almost as much time in the hospital when I was a kid as I did at home. I don't know how my parents ever got away with it. I mean I don't know why no one ever tried to report them.
I guess maybe it was because they looked like they were an outstanding couple in the community. You know like always doing community service and stuff like that. My Father was even a Minister in the local Church. So I guess they always thought he was a moral man and all that. But I still don't know why no one ever reported them when I was always getting beaten up. It gives me a real feeling that there is no justice at all in the world. It just makes me feel real angry and mean and hateful inside.
So I always tried to tell people about what happened to me as a kid. I always felt when I got close to some one at school that I wanted to share with them personal things. You know how it is when you get a best friend. At least that's the way it is with me, anyway. I always like to share my deepest feelings with new friends. So I would tell people who I became friendly with about my childhood. Maybe some of them didn't believe me. Maybe some of them got really turned off thinking that I came from a rotten home like that. But in any event, I never kept too many friends as a result. So I guess you could say I had a real lonely time. It's really hard when you have no one close to share things with.
I used to get beaten up a lot. But that wasn't what was really so bad. The real horrible part, the part that no one ever believes is that my father was fucking me and my sister even before we understood what fucking was. He'd just come into our room at night. Me and my sister used to share the same room. And he'd just take out his belt and start cracking our asses with it. Then sometimes he'd make us do all kinds of things to each other. We were always gentle with each other, so that part never hurt that much. But when we were real little his big cock was so enormous when he shoved it in our twats that it really hurt us a lot. You can imagine what I mean. It was like shoving a square peg into a round hole. I mean when you're a little kid it just doesn't fit that easily into your twat.
You know for years I didn't even think that what he was doing to us was even that abnormal. I mean when someone fucks you every night you kind of get used to it. It was no big deal. There was nothing unusual about it. Even my Mother knew. He even used to do it to her right in front of our eyes. But like I said, it was no big deal because it was happening all the time. And I guess you can say everything is just relative.
Sometimes I try to think back to the first time that it happened. I think what it was, was that my sister and I used to get in bed with my father on Sunday mornings. I mean even though he used to beat us up a lot, there really were some fun times that we would all have together,.
This one time we all got under the covers together. He told us that he had something hidden for us under there. I don't think he was wearing any bottoms to his pajamas, as I remember it. Well, anyway, my sister and I started to get under the covers to search for this surprise. We thought maybe he meant that he had some kind of a toy for us.
Well, that wasn't what we found. I mean, we found a toy, if you want to call it that. But you know what I mean by now. His toy was his big cock. There it was stiff, fully erect. That was probably the first time I ever saw it. Until this day I can't forget what a thrill it was to feel and taste it with in my mouth. I remember that day, the way he made us suck his cock for hours. He told us to pretend that it was a lollipop. He acted like he was doing us a big favor.
After awhile we used to beg him to pull down his pants when he came home so that we could suck on him. We usually did it right before dinner. Mommy used to get annoyed with that though because she'd always complain that dinner was getting cold.
As we got older Father wanted to experiment with other things. I guess when we were twelve he had read a book about bondage. He thought it would be a lot of fun to tie us all up before he gave us our usual beating. This time he got Mommy in on it too. He convinced her that it would really be a lot of fun if he tied her up along with us. so there we were, like three peas in a pod, all tied up on the bed.
My Father was really thrilled. He had gone out the night before and purchased all kinds of devises from the local S&M store. He had new whips for us. He had special chains. He even had black garter and stockings for all of us to wear. He was dressed totally in black leather. He really looked frightening. I have to admit."
I guess this must sound real sick to you, Doctor. I mean, I know this isn't the kind of thing people talk about usually.
But I've found out lately that there are all kinds of people who enjoy bondage. You know, getting tied up and all that stuff. I figure that's all right if everyone agrees to it.
You know, consenting adults, as they say.
But when my Father beat us and tied us up it wasn't with our consent. That's probably why it really wasn't that much fun. I mean it never turned me on sexually or anything. I think that maybe it did to my Mother. But she was always a weird lady.
I think it would really take an awful lot of therapy for me to really get to understand her. But I think probably my real problem has to do with my relationship with my Father. So, to get back to that now.
As I said, it never turned me on to get whipped. Even when he fucked us after our beatings, it just felt hard and rough. My Mother, I could see, really got all excited. She would scream with ecstasy. Sometimes when I'd watch how she'd really get into the fucking part, I thought maybe I was just frigid or something.
But it was only recently that I found out the real reason why I never liked to get tied up and fucked. You see, Doctor, I started to read a lot of sexual literature to kind of find out where my head was at. I decided that even though I had had a lot of sexual experience at home, I never really had an opportunity to explore my sexuality. I mean, I never got to learn what made me feel good or what I liked.
So one day I was reading this book about dominant woman. You know, you've seen pictures of them I'm sure. They look real frightening the way they dress up in black leather boots, or sometimes in lacy stockings.
It's a real tough look. I think in my heart that's how I'd really like to look. That's not how I look now, I know. I mean I don't have the confidence yet. But when I see these tough ladies with the black leather whips, I know that's the way I'd like to be. You see, I realized after reading about different kinds of sexuality, that I wasn't the passive, submissive type. That's why it never turned me on to get whipped. But I could identify with my Father, I guess. And when I saw all the pleasure he was getting from beating us up, I guess I figured I wanted to get that kind of pleasure too.
I guess one thing that would turn me on about watching him beat us was when his big cock got real long and stiff. He'd really get excited toward the end. And I have to admit that I really did get a thrill out of watching him spray his hot wet come all over us. There was a real feeling of power about it. And now that I found out that I'm the dominant type, I'm only sorry that I don't have a big long cock that sprays hot come. Because I could really get into that. Though lately I found out that there are places where I can send for dildos. I don't think any of them can spray hot come. But at least it's a step in the right direction.
Doctor, I'm being real honest with you about my fantasies. Well I shouldn't call them fantasies now that I'm beginning to act them out. And I guess that's where I'm starting to have trouble. I mean, just look at the trouble that it got me into now that I've been sent away to the correctional home. I mean that is a damn rotten place. I don't think it's fair that I've been sent there. I didn't really rape the girl. She was my friend. As I said before to you, I really like to share my inner most thoughts and secrets with my friends. But that rotten Bitch. First she said she'd go through with it. Then she turned on me and reported me to the police. Damn fuckin' Bitch. If I ever get out of that correctional home, I'll show her what rape is all about. I'll get out my dildo and fuck her until she's blue in the face.
INTERVIEW TWO
Dina was dressed quite differently when she arrived for her second interview. It seemed that her ability to express her dominate feelings in her last interview put Dina in touch with her bizarre sexual attitudes, as I felt it my place not to be judgmental of any of the situations she confided. It is often difficult to make such a decision. But I have found that it is best to allow for an environment where the patient will feel secure and develop an honest trust in the Doctor. Yet there are times when a conflict does arise, between what a doctor considers healthy and sick. But I came to a conclusion after this first session that Dina must be allowed to express the full range of her sexuality.
In any event, she did seem to have a much different look about her when she arrived for the second interview. She appeared rather punkish, dressed totally in black. Her sleeves were rolled up high and her hair had been cut into a short boyish bob. I could see at once that she had become in touch with the masculine, dominant aspect of her personality. Certainly, if she had the money, I could see she would be easily done up in black leather boots, whips and chains. But considering her finances she got the desired look quite well.
This time Dina chose a chair close to mine. Her speech was more assertive as we took the following taped transcript.
I want to thank you, Doctor.
Our sessions really helped. I never thought it would allow me to feel so open and honest. I thought back about our session during the week. I mean it made a very real lasting impression. I mean all these thoughts and feeling and memories were bottled up inside of me. For a long time I really thought that I was a crazy person. Maybe that was because I never allowed myself to open up and talk about all my sexual desires.
But you know, I feel so different, now that I talked to you and got to really listen to myself, I don't think I sound so bad.
I mean, I think, all this stuff really just sounds crazier when you keep it deep inside. It's real frightening when you can't share things with people.
I guess that's why I felt I had to share my feelings with my girl friend Marcy. Marcy is the one I raped. You know, I told you a little bit about that. Well, I really didn't rape her. We were just fooling around with the whips and stuff. But then I guess we had a lover's quarrel.
Well, she found out that I was doing it with other people and I guess that's when she really got angry and decided to get back at me. I don't know why some chicks get so damn emotional, but I guess they do. I'm not that way. I mean I'm much more detached than most girls. But maybe that's what makes me a dominant and not a passive person.
So anyway, I want to tell you the story about how Marcy and I first made it together. You see I always had an attraction to her. I guess from the first day I saw her. Something about her looks really turned me on. She's real pretty. But it wasn't so much that. I've seen a lot of pretty woman. But they don't all turn me on. In fact before I saw Marcy, I didn't think I'd be into woman that much. Actually nothing turned me on so much. So when Marcy made my twat twitch, it was really something else.
It was like there was a little explosion inside my pussy as soon as I first saw her. It was in gym class. She looked real sexy in her gym uniform. And if anyone can look good in those, she's got to be something hot. Because there ain't nothing that makes a girl look worse than a gym uniform.
But anyway, as I was saying. When I first laid eyes on Marcy I really came hard. I didn't even have to touch myself. It was like a went off like a rocket ship. So, it wasn't a mental crises.
Really it was simple, I mean, I didn't really have to make some kind of important decision about whether or not I was into woman. It was a purely physical thing. It felt good and it felt real natural. And Marcy was the one I was hot for so I went after her.
I want to tell you what Marcy looks like. I mean physical isn't everything. It's really the person inside that I'm attracted to. I mean, if Marcy wasn't intelligent and sensitive, and all, I don't think I'd be all that turned on by her. I hope you know what I mean Doctor. I mean I'm not just a shallow person who only sees the outside of a person. I also look for quality and depth. But Marcy is, also very pretty. She has long shiny brown hair, that really sparkles in the sunlight. And she has a fabulous body.
Dynamite, if you know what I mean.
But her boobs are so huge, and well I guess that turns me on because I'm so flat and boyish. But Marcy's really built like a dynamite woman. Every guy in our class is really hot for her. It makes me feel real wonderful to know she once liked me more than all those guys in our class.
Well, let me tell you about the first time I made it with Marcy. That will probably give you a lot more understanding to the real nature of our relationship. I was attracted and all that. But I really didn't want to make the first advance. Maybe I was afraid of rejection. But soon I got over that.
One day Marcy invited me to go home with her to do homework together.
Later Marcy told me she just used that as an excuse. Because we really didn't have any homework that day. Well, anyway, her parents weren't home. In fact they had gone away for vacation. Marcy asked if I would stay over night. She said she really didn't like to be alone.
I agreed. I was really excited about it and hoped that we would sleep in the same bed. There was only one bed in her room. It was not too big, so right away I had thoughts about us holding each other close in the night. And that really turned me on too. I think I came from just thinking about getting her twat hot and wet. I thought about how I wanted to do all these gentle nice things to her. I figured I could really understand her body better than any man.
But Marcy got a phone call that night from her cousin Rob. He said he wanted to come over and see her.
What a drag. I was really disappointed that we weren't going to be all alone as I had planned. What I was really worried about was that Rob would ask if he could stay over. And I was worried that would inhibit Marcy from fooling around with me.
Well Rob showed up in this really flashy sports car. He was a real prick. I mean, I hate these gorgeous guys who are really stuck up about their good looks. I don't even think Rob was that good looking. He just thought he was. And that type always has a way of making the rest of the world think that they're gorgeous. It's all psychology. It's all what you project out there in the world. Well I'm sure you understand those things, Doctor, I don't have to tell you any of that stuff.
But back to my story. As you can imagine, I was a little pissed off, to say the least. I mean, no way did I want Rob there. But what actually happened when he arrived, started to work for me. I mean I was out to make it with Marcy. I was hot for her and I wanted to go all the way that night.
I didn't expect much, but what I didn't know was that she and her cousin, Rob, had a hot affair going. And the reason she had arranged for me to stay over night was that she wanted a threesome.
But you have to understand that I had no idea at this point as to what was going on. I mean, I've had a lot of sexual experiences from what went on in my home with my father and all. But I never actually made it with a guy around my own age. You see, I never had any boy friends. My home life was so damn strange that it wasn't possible to bring people home, as you can probably well imagine.
So here we were the three of us. Only the two of them knew what was being planned.
You see I never knew that Marcy was really hot for me too. She had only first discovered that she really wanted to swing both ways. Rob had seen me once before and Marcy later told me that he had been attracted to me immediately. I never had thought of myself as that attractive.
But it made me feel real good to later on find out that both of them were hot for me. When I found that out I even liked Rob a little better. Meanwhile I have to admit that I felt a little bit in competition with him for Marcy's attention.
But the way things soon worked out, I really didn't have to feel that way. It was no time at all before Marcy suggested we all get into the sack together. I mean, she wasn't shy about it. She wasn't even the least bit inhibited. She was real direct and straight about what she wanted. And I think that probably really turned me on more than anything.
Marcy wanted to have both Rob and me make love to her. I wasn't thrilled about sharing her with anyone. But if that was what she wanted I wanted to make her happy. So the three of us got undressed in the living room. like I said, no one was home and we didn't have to worry about getting caught. It would be days before her parents were back from vacation. So, we didn't even bother pulling down the shades. There's a lot of land around Marcy's house and there aren't neighbors for miles around. Besides it was kind of fun stripping in front of opened windows. The possibility of being seen by an observer always makes sex a little more exciting.
Actually this was the first time I had ever seen Marcy's body totally without clothing. It was far more beautiful than I had expected. She's got this real gorgeous silky skin. And when I rubbed my hands across her full breasts, I thought I was going to cream that very second. Then I moved my hand down across her tight belly. I could see she really enjoyed my touching her all over, because her nipples were real taut and hard and she had little goose bumps all over. It was really something beautiful to see and I was feeling very excited.
I just knew she wanted me to ruff her twat. So I moved my hand down and touched her clitoris. Mine was throbbing. But I figured mine could wait. I wanted to get to her first.
So I put my hand down to her pussy. It was hot and wet. I can't tell you how happy it made m e. Just to think that Marcy was really getting off on me. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Then Rob wanted to make it with me. I mean he was really coming on very strong. He was tearing at my clothes and all that kind of stuff. I was flattered and all that Rob was turned on to me. I mean if he wanted to fuck me I would let him, just so that I could be with Marcy. As long as he didn't want to get into M arcy's hot twat, it was alright with me.
But I'll tell you the truth, Doctor, I really was not that excited about Rob pulling off my clothing. like I said, I'm the more dominant type and I like to be the one who is more aggressive. Rob is pretty cute. But maybe I'm just not into men. Sometimes I think I am. But when there are situations like this, I just know they're not for me. sometimes I think I might like a man if I could find one who would like me to dominate him. I could be real good at that. I even had a fn fantasy once where I masturbated and came just form thinking about whipping a man's ass off with by black leather boots. So, I know for sure that that is a fantasy I could act out. But I haven't had any time to get to that one yet.
So, Doctor, where was I. Oh yeah. I think I was telling you how Rob was pulling at my clothing. Well, I was finding that to be real boring. But now I was getting into Marcy's twat. and we were both really loving that.
It was absolutely amazing.
Remember I told you how I loved Marcy's long brown hair. Well, you should see her beautiful pubic bush. It's really something to see. I mean the way it glistens in the light and the way its real soft and curly. Really, Marcy's got the greatest bush. I could just come thinking about it right now.
When I put my hand inside her twat and I saw that she was dripping wet, that was the best. I didn't know what I wanted to do first. I thought I would bend down and start to suck her clitoris. I could have done anything to me and she would have let me.
I wanted to get to my knees and get down on her. But just then, Rob had his big fat cock right in me. I liked the way he just kept on pushing it up so hard. I decided to relax and just let him do his thing so I could continue giving all of my attention to the woman of my dreams. Her pussy juices were really flowing and I knew that she really needed me now.
So, as I said I relaxed and let Rob get high up in my ass hole. And you know, Doc, as soon as I relaxed it felt different.
I mean to say that it began to really tingle and feel wonderful. In fact I got into his doing it to me and I didn't want him to stop. It's hard to explain what the whole thing was like. I mean I had never had that experience even with my Father. But, as I said, I relaxed and just kind of grooved with the situation. As a result, I started to get more into my own pleasure for a while.
That's when I took my tongue out of Marcy's twat, so that I could concentrate more fully on Rob pushing in and out with his cock.
Gosh, when I think of it right now I could just cream. Anal sex is really a fabulous experience. The only thing that I'm worried about now is that I think that there may really be something wrong with me. Doctor, this is all getting so damn complicated. I don't even know if any of it makes any sense to you any more.
I mean, first I'm telling you how I'm a dominant into woman. Right? And now in the next breath I'm telling you how I love getting it up the ass. I'm getting confused. It's like I don't know my real identity. I'm not sure where I'm really at.
You see, if I could be sure I was a dominant lesbian, then I could just go after chicks. But then finding out that I also like a cock up the ass confused me. But maybe, Doctor, that's just not how life is. I mean, maybe it's true what they say. Things aren't always black or white. Sometimes they're shade of gray.
So, as I was saying, I really enjoyed the anal sex. But then Rob decided to get rough with me. That just reminded me of my Father and I didn't go for that at all. I mean after he stuck his big cock up my ass, he wanted me to get down on him and suck him off. Now, I think that's really disgusting. I don't care what any one says. Besides I was into sucking twat. I wasn't into sucking his big cock.
But then Rob shoved it down my throat anyway. It real hurt me the way he did that. I was getting mad and I wouldn't suck. I wouldn't care how hard he'd beat me, I just wasn't going to suck his fucking cock.
So, he did get pissed off. But I wasn't caring at all. He took his fat piece and hit it against my face. Well, here he was thinking he was real tough and all. The dirty mother fucker. I mean he didn't know the first thing about violence. But he thought he was hot shit throwing his cock across my face.
I just let out a big laugh. It was a real joke to me. Before I knew it we were in a fist fight. like I said he thought he was tough shit. He's six foot two and real muscular. But I was still stronger than him. I look real weak. But I'm telling you Doc, I'm a pretty tough lady.
I think Marcy was getting pretty frightened the way we were going at it. I felt sorry about that. I mean I didn't want to frighten her at all. All I wanted was for her to lay down beside me a let me suck on her sweet little twat. But the whole mood was ruined with this big ape having to prove how macho he was, just because I wouldn't suck. I mean who the hell did this mother fucker think he was anyway. So I figured I was going to show him a thing or too.
And let me tell you that I did. I showed him. I gave him one punch in the mouth and he was laying out cold on the floor. I didn't mean to hurt him that much. But blood was flowing. I got a little frightened, thinking that maybe I had killed the dirty bastard, and if I did I probably wouldn't have felt that bad. I mean I didn't care if that piece of shit was dead or alive.
CONCLUSION
There was no doubt in my mind that Dina was a very troubled girl. However, her problems were less in her divergent sexuality, than in her own fear and confusion about her sexual range. With further analysis I feel confident that she will be able to establish her sexual identity.
GENERAL CONCLUSION
This volume of interviews has concerned itself with forced initiations, most of which turn out to be brutal and harsh. It is quite understandable.
The first sexual experience for a woman can be frightening, particularly if the woman still has her hymen. The male has to rip through it, and there is no possible way to do it without causing some kind of pain.
However, even if the woman does not have her hymen, the first experience is as much a mental one as it is a physical one. The woman has to be willing, and if she is not, and is being forced, she will feel a great deal of pain.
Though Nan had been raped by her sister, the fact that for years before, her sister had been telling her all about sex, helped her come to grips with what happened. Though she felt pain as the experience was occurring, later in life, she could deal with it.
Such is not the case for many other young girls, whose first brutal experience usually turns out to be the very first dealing with anything sexual.
Connie, for instance, matured physically before she did mentally. She is a young girl with the body of an older women, and therefore, many boys tried to take her. She was brutally taken at age thirteen, and I believe that it will take many years for her to overcome her sexual fears.
Men should realize this. There are many women who like to be brutalized, and feel pleasure from that, but it is rare for a woman to know this her first time. Therefore, when it comes to a first time for a woman, most men should try to be gentle and loving and tender, if now for their own pleasure, then for the sake of the woman.
