Oscar Wilde once wrote: "Children begin by loving their parents; as they grow older they judge them; sometimes they forgive them."
A study such as this work makes one realize that there is more truth than poetry in that statement. Many children, as they grow into their own adulthood, must find it difficult to even forgive their parents.
Elsa J. is one such person. Not yet fifteen, she has already given birth to two children - the first when she was barely thirteen! As she tells her story, Elsa does not whine, nor does she alibi. The facts of her incestuous early years are quite evident; thus, her father and brothers must shoulder a great deal of the blame for her sex patterns.
The sexual escapades of the young always shock, but the average person does not seem to realize that a child who is not yet a teen-ager, nor fully developed sexually, can indulge in and enjoy the fullest of sex experiences. Elsa tells her story frankly, using the limited vocabulary of a child who never completed eighth grade.
She is a good example of the unlimited victims of a deterioration of family life: no love, no kindness or consideration, no cohesion in any effort, particularly that of guidance and discipline for the child.
"I was ten when my parents divorced. Because my mother was a compulsive, hopeless alcoholic, they gave custody of me to my father.
"Pop was all right - we got along, only I never saw too much of him. He worked two jobs to pay off the bills that Mom's drunkenness had caused.
"I don't blame Pop for anything. He had it tough. A year before the divorce, my big brother, Ed, was sent to reform school for stealing cars. He had stolen cars since he was thirteen, and this one night, he had been drinking, too - he was only sixteen, then, but he drank with my Mom a lot. Anyhow, he hit an old man in a crosswalk while he was out joyriding, and they sent him to reform school.
"Pop never got anything out of my mother or brother, except grief and pain and worry. I used to feel sorry for him. I wanted to just put my arms around him and let him know that at least somebody cared about him, but I couldn't reach him. He was always so tired when he came home that, even if I was still awake, he didn't have energy enough to do much but eat, wash the dishes, straighten up the mess my drunken mother made, then get to bed.
"I doubt that he had any sex life with my mother for the last three or four years before the divorce, but I didn't really know anything about such things then.
"After the divorce, I remember a long series of baby-sitters. I guess I made a pest of myself, following them around, wanting to sit on their laps, and have stories read to me - anything to get close to someone.
"I liked one of them a lot and he gave me a lot of loving. His name was Andy and he was our paper boy, Andy was about seventeen, I think. After the divorce, my father was able to make a go of it with just the one job, but he must have been pretty bitter and discouraged by then, because he began to go out almost every night and he drank a lot. I knew all about what drunks were like and I knew that Pop was drinking pretty heavily.
"But I had fun with Andy. I used to play card games with him - 'Old Maid' and 'Hearts.' We used to play for kisses, but there was always more than that. While he kissed me, he would run his finger up inside my panties and inside my thing. He would suck my tongue and rub his finger around that little knob inside of me, and I would get all excited and want more - but I didn't know what it was that I wanted.
"Sometimes, we would play a game where the winner could say where he wanted to be kissed - a certain part of his body - and the loser had to do it. Andy used to name his prick, and I would kiss it - just on the tip of it. Once, Andy told me to open my mouth and take it inside and suck it, and I did. But I guess my mouth was too small, because after I had sucked it a little I began to gag. He took it out and played with himself, right there in front of me, until he shot some white stuff into his hand. He wiped it on his handkerchief and then we didn't play any more games that night.
"Then Ed, my brother, came to live with us again, and Pop made him stay home and babysit a lot of times. I think Eddie was on parole, or whatever it is, because he had to go to the police once every week and tell them what he was doing. My father had to go with him.
"Ed was quiet. He used to sit for hours just watching TV. He didn't even say a word to me or seem to know that I was even around. I didn't know much about sex, but I figured that Ed was not much different than Andy, so I asked him if we could play games - for kisses on the body.
"At first he didn't know what I meant, so I told him about the games Andy and I had played, and he perked up and said we'd try it.
"I won the first game and said I wanted, him to kiss me between my legs. Ed looked at me sort of funny, but he took off my panties and I laid down on the floor and spread my legs. He got down on his stomach and looked at my thing, spreading it open with his fingers. He put one finger inside me and played with my knob. Then he got down and began to kiss my pussy! He reached down and unzipped his pants and took out his prick, and it was as big as Andy's.
"He stuck his tongue inside me and then grabbed my knob with his lips and sucked it awfully hard. I had never had anything quite this good from Andy, and after a minute or two, I had a wonderful, new feeling. It started inside my pussy, and just spread all over my body. It burned and tickled, but it felt wonderful. And I watched while Eddie jerked away at his prick and shot a load of stuff all over the carpet!
"I went to get a cloth to clean it up, and when I came back, Ed still had his prick in his hand, playing with it. It wasn't quite as stiff as it had been, but it was beginning to get that way again. He lifted up my dress and ran his finger inside my pussy, making me get 'hot' again. He asked, 'Did you ever kiss this Andy's pecker?"
I told him I had.
"He asked, 'Did you like it?' I told him it wasn't bad tasting, but that I had only taken the head of it in my mouth, that I had almost vomited when he tried to put it in too far.
" 'You want to do it for me?' Eddie asked. I was so happy that he was noticing me, and that he had made me feel so good when he had sucked my pussy, that I would have done anything he asked.
"I smiled at him and got down in a crouch so that I could take his thing in my mouth. I wanted to put it way down in my mouth, to make him feel real good. I guess I acted like a little glutton for pricks, because I used my tongue and teeth, and I rubbed the base of it with both my hands. I was surprised when he shot a load of sticky, salty juice into my mouth inside & minute. I thought it would take longer, and I was so surprised that I swallowed it.
"You're better than them cocksuckers up at Ft. Kane, Sis,' Eddie said, pulling my face up and giving me a rough kiss on the cheek. 'You and me are going to have some good times.'
"And we did. We did it a lot after that. We didn't even play any cards. Whenever we were alone, we'd start right off sucking and kissing. Once, Eddie tried to shove his cock up inside my cunt, but it hurt too much, and he stopped when I began to cry. Fused to play with his prick, and I could make him come that way, but he liked it best when I sucked it. And I liked it better when he kissed my cunt, too.
"Then Eddie got into trouble again, and I didn't see him again-ever.
"Life was awfully lonely after that. Then Pop stopped going out and stayed home a lot more, but he drank an awful lot - almost as much as my mother had. I didn't care. At least, there was somebody there with me. To tell the truth, though, I missed all the fun of playing with a-boy's cock and having him play with me and suck my pussy. I tried masturbating, but that was never much good for me. I began to wonder if Pop was like Andy and Eddie, whether he would like to play some games, and maybe kiss me and finger-fuck me, and let me suck his cock and play with it, like I had with them.
"I knew that both Andy and Eddie had liked to look at my little pussy, and I figured that Pop would, too. So, this one night, I got undressed in my room, and stood in front of the mirror. My breasts were beginning to take shape and I had a little fringe of hair starting under my arms and around my pussy. I noticed that my body was getting a little more like a woman's too. And as I looked at myself I got hot again. I wondered if my body, and all the love that was gathered inside me, could make my father want to caress and kiss me.
"Pop was sitting with his beer, watching TV. He wasn't drunk, but he wasn't exactly sober, either. It was hot and he was sitting there in just his shorts. I walked through the living room, pretending I was going into the kitchen for a drink of water. I was naked, and because the door was to one side of the TV set, I knew he would have to notice me.
"I walked slow and pretended to half turn and look at the TV screen. I could feel Pop's eyes on me and I went into the kitchen feeling real excited. I put the light on and got a drink of water. I heard him come to the kitchen door and I set the glass down and turned so that I was facing him squarely. I took a deep breath so that my breasts were shoved out high, with the tiny, pink nipples standing out straight. I spread my legs a little so he could see my pussy clearly. I just stood there, watching his eyes. I saw him ogling me from breasts to pussy, and I could see his prick, under his shorts, begin to get hard.
"He shook his head a little and said, 'God, you're growing up fast.'
"I decided to make my move. I ran my hands over my breasts and stomach, and walked over closer to him. Am I pretty, Pop?' I asked. He licked his lips and nodded. I saw that his prick was standing up real stiff and proud and I was sure I had him hooked.
"He reached out and felt my nipple, then he touched the other one. I moved in closer to him and reached out and grabbed his prick in my hand. I bent over and took the head of it in my mouth and began to suck it. For a second or two, Pop just stood there. I took more and more of his cock into my mouth, my head bobbing up and down faster and faster. Then Pop reached down and grabbed my hair and pulled my head up. I thought he was going to hit me, but instead, he took me up in his arms, so my feet were off the floor, and he began to kiss me, sticking his tongue in my mouth. He was holding me so that his prick was brushing against my cunt, and I began to get hotter than I already was as I felt it press hard against my crotch and stomach.
"Pop carried me into the bedroom - his room - and he stripped off his shorts and got on the bed with me. He pushed me back and began to kiss my breasts. I was wild with pleasure as he moved on down my body, licking my stomach, then sticking his tongue into my bellybutton. He was using one hand to rub my pussy and he began to massage my little knob with one finger. I heard myself saying, 'Suck me, suck me.' I sounded as if I were another person, my voice was so husky and anxious.
"Pop moved down and I spread my legs wide to receive his hot tongue inside my throbbing cunt. He began to lick hard. His tongue rubbed the lips of my pussy and then massaged my knob. He reached up with one hand and played with the nipple of my titty, pinching it and making it sting, but it was a delicious hurt. I began to buck my ass up in a rhythm that matched his thrusting tongue, and then the lightening burst inside me and spread over my whole body. Pop just kept on, and inside another minute, I had come again.
"I was lightheaded with the thrill of it. I crawled away and pushed Pop back on his back. I took his cock in my mouth, sucking it and washing it up and down the whole length of it with my tongue. I kept hold of it near the base and jerked it while I sucked it. Pop propped himself up on his elbows so he could watch me, and I got a real kick when I looked right into his eyes and saw how excited and happy I was making him.
"He shot a big, big load into my mouth. I wanted to show him how much I wanted to please him, so I swallowed it quickly and kept on sucking and jerking his cock.
"But he pulled me away and laid me back on the bed. He spread my legs wide and got on his knees. He took his cock in his hand. Then he looked into my eyes and asked, 'Have you been fucked, Elsa?' I told him the truth, that I had tried once, but I was too small. I babbled on and told him I wanted him to do it to me more than anything. I was going wild, seeing his prick poised near my open cunt, and I wanted him to fuck me and make me come.
"He eased the head of it in and it felt good. I jumped a little when he went deeper, but it felt wonderful when his hard prick rubbed along my knob. I moaned a little and he said, 'Does it hurt, baby?' I shook my head and said, 'Fuck me hard, Pop.'
Then he let himself go, ramming it as deep into my cunt as it could go. It hurt some, but I was so delirious with the pleasure of feeling it deep inside me that I didn't care. My body just seemed to blend in with Pop's, and we thrashed around on the bed in a tangle of sweaty flesh until I felt a flood of hot, wet jism shoot inside me. At that instant, I came. I could feel my knob jerking and bobbing, sending waves of pleasure all through me, I threw my arms around Pop's neck and kissed him, sticking my tongue in his mouth, moving it around and sucking his tongue.
"He kept on ramming and kept his hard-on. I was in a daze of delight. I'd had my first real fuck and it had been wonderful - ten times better than having my cunt sucked or fingered. Even more important, I could have more, any time I wanted!
"Afterward, I told Pop about Andy and Eddie. He was angry at first, but when I convinced him that neither of them had really fucked me, he cooled off ... 'I slept with him in his bed that night, and I sucked him off again after he had fucked me.
"I slept with Pop at least three times a week for the next two years! When I was thirteen, I began to have dates with other men. I never did go out with what you'd call a boy - they were all older men. I began going steady with Roy. It caused an awful row with Pop because Roy was almost as old as he was. Pop threatened to kick me out. He had an awful fight with Roy over us seeing each other. Pop knew that Roy was fucking me, and I got mad and wouldn't let Pop have me anymore. Then I found out that I was pregnant. I was positive that it had to be by Roy, but there was an outside chance that it was Pop's baby. It shook Roy up and he wanted me to have an abortion when I told him I was pregnant. But Pop was dead set against it. He insisted that Roy marry me, but I didn't want to, nor did Roy.
"Things were bad for the next nine months. I had to drop out of school and Pop turned awfully mean. He drank more than ever and hardly talked to me. I tried to be good to him. I cooked all the meals and kept the house a lot neater than my mother ever had, but he was so ashamed that all he did was drink. He told me once, that if the baby was his, and turned out to be an idiot, that he'd kill himself. He had me worried that something would be wrong with the baby, and I began to lose weight and get nervous.
"But the baby was born dead. I will never know if it was Roy's or Pop's, but I'm positive that Dave is the father of my little boy, because I never went back home after I got out of the hospital.
"Dave goes to college. I guess he's a hippie, but he has a job. He wears crazy clothes, has long hair and a full, wild beard. I don't know if I love him, but I've been living with him for almost a year now. We talked it over, when I got pregnant, and decided that neither of us really wanted to be tied to a child. So I answered one of those ads in the paper where somebody pays all the hospital bills and gives you cash in return for them adopting the baby.
"I'm not just Dave's girl. He sleeps around a lot, too. Neither of us wants to get married. Maybe I'm a hippie, too, because I agree with Dave on his ideas about marriage and sex. I like variety. I don't know what I'll be doing tomorrow; I just live for today, doing what I want to do. I learned that from Dave, but it was buried deep inside me anyhow, and Dave just happened along to encourage me to be myself.
"I live in San Francisco now, and Dave and I share an apartment with two other couples. We switch off for sex sometimes, but we don't have what you'd call 'orgies;' we just do it privately. I don't have any feeling for the others - they're just good sex partners. I don't feel bad about giving up my baby. I've got plenty of time left if I ever decide I want kids and marriage, but I doubt if I ever will, I work as a waitress and I chip in my money to help Dave. All of us pool our money for rent and food. It's not a bad life. When Dave graduates, I don't know what we'll do. We may stay together or split.
"I don't think I'm a freak,' as far as sex goes. I've talked about it with some other girls, and except that I'm a little younger than most of them, I'm not so different. Several of the girls I know have told me that they had their first sex with either their brother, father or an uncle. So I don't feel I'm a weirdo just because I had sex with my brother, and my first real fuck from my father.
"I to pretty content, sometimes even happy. And, after all, that's the name of the game - isn't it?"
On the flip side of the coin, incest may sometimes involve rape - at least statutory rape. Those inclined to be lenient may refer to such instances as seduction. We present here the narration of Phyllis L.
"You're a writer. That's why I'm telling you this. Maybe you can tell others that even if she becomes a whore it isn't always a girl's fault. It certainly wasn't mine. My father was to blame - the sonofabitch! I don't want to be emotional, but it's hard not to be.
"I was home alone with my father this one night. My mother was in the hospital and I was feeling so alone. I guessed I sensed that my mother was dying and I needed someone - someone to just hold me and love me ...
"I didn't realize it at the time, but my father didn't love my mother. Maybe he never did. He was unconcerned because she was so sick. He hadn't even taken me to the hospital to visit her that night. But I wasn't thinking of those things then, I just felt awfully alone.
"My father was laying on the couch, watching TV. I'd been in bed for a couple of hours, but I couldn't sleep. I just wanted to be with somebody - just to feel that I wasn't alone. My father had been drinking pretty steadily all evening - beer - he always drank beer. I got out of bed and peeked into the front room. He was half-asleep, propped up on one elbow, but groggy. I just had to be near someone. He and I had never been really close, I suppose. At least, if he loved me he never showed it outwardly. He never kissed me. I got the idea that he had wanted a boy, and was disappointed in me - though he never said so. But he was all I had, so I went out and cuddled up to him on the couch.
"He was in his underwear -a skivvy shirt and boxer shorts. I could see his soft prick through the front slit in his shorts. I didn't think much of it, but I had on a 'shortie' nightgown. There were no panties to it, so if I made certain moves, it showed my bare ass and my pussy.
"When I snuggled up to him, I was facing him. He sat up and looked down at me. My nightie .was up and he could see my naked pussy. I still didn't think anything of it. I just put my head in his lap and turned to watch TV. I was aware of feeling his prick beneath my cheek, and after a couple of minutes I could feel it getting hard. It bobbed up against my face and I began to get a funny, hot feeling between my legs.
"Then I felt Daddy's hand rubbing my back. He moved down quickly to my ass, and his fingers began to stray up the crack between my asscheeks, touching my asshole once in awhile. I have to admit, it worked me up. I began to move my face around so it rubbed against his hard cock, and he ran his fingers under my asshole and touched the lips of my pussy.
"I moved my head some more and I could see his cock - sticking up straight in front of me. I could see the hair around it. The big, purple head of it was about an inch from my mouth.
"I knew a little about sex, and I knew this was all wrong, but I was fascinated by the closeness of his prick, and the way he was making me tingle with his hands in my pussy. I started to get up, saying I had to go to the bathroom, but he held me down. Then he reached around in front and put his finger right up inside my cunt. I jumped, half-scared, half-thrilled, but before I could really move, he shoved my face down so that my lips touched the head of his prick. I was afraid to put it in my mouth, but I was afraid not to. I thought he'd beat me. Once in a great while, I'd seen him beat my mother with his fists, and I didn't want any of that.
"His finger was going deeper and deeper into my cunt, and I began to move my body to help him hit the right spots. Before I knew what I was doing, I put my lips around the head of his prick and began to suck. The deeper it went into my mouth, the hotter I got. I rolled over so that I could hold the shaft in my hand and sink it into my mouth. He moved his hand so that he had his thumb up my asshole and his finger up my cunt. Then he wiggled them and dug his nails into me. It started to make me dizzy I I mean it! I was almost in a daze from the excitement he was driving through my body. I felt his prick throbbing and jerking, and I let it go deeper into my mouth, sucking hard on it.
"As I felt a big surge of hot, salty jism shoot into my mouth, I had a wild, crazy feeling spread all over me, starting at my cunt. I knew I'd come, and I loved it. I didn't care if it was my father - it was thrilling.
"I hardly remember him getting up and laying me down on my back. He took his shorts off, and his prick was as big and as hard as ever. I spread my legs wide. I wanted that hot, wet cock between my legs. I wanted to come again. I wanted his prick to make me come!
"When he shoved his cock into my pussy, I thought I'd faint from the pain. I didn't want to cry, but I had to. I began to cry and beg him to stop, but he wouldn't. He was panting and making funny noises. He didn't even know that it was his daughter that he was fucking!
"The deeper into my cunt he went, the more I adjusted to it, the more I warmed up - the more excited I got. In a minute, I was bucking and bobbing, pushing my cunt and hips up to meet his lunges. When he shot into me he collapsed with a big groan, but he still kept pumping. I had the wildest come you could imagine.
"He came to life quickly and he wiggled his prick around inside me until it got hard again, he reached up with one hand and dug his nails into the nipple of my breast. My titties were pretty full - not big, but round and up-tilted. And when he dug his nails in, it shot a thrill all through me. He moved his head down and nibbled and bit at my nipple, making me hotter and hotter. He just kept on moving down with his mouth, his prick slipping out of my cunt. He nipped at my stomach, stuck his tongue into my bellybutton, then made a big dive at my cunt!
"He bit and sucked, then he shoved at least three fingers up into my cunt - deep. He dug in with his nails, and before I knew what was happening, I came again!
"This drove him wild. He rolled me over on my stomach and mounted me from the back. He drove his cock up into my asshole and I screamed in pain. It was as if he didn't even hear me. He just rammed that fat, stiff prick in and out of my tender asshole while I screamed and cried for him to stop!
"He stopped after I felt the warm flood of his come in my asshole. Then he collapsed again, kissing my neck and back, his flabby prick still in my asshole. I guess I hated him, but at the same time, I loved him - sexually - as a man. I wanted him to put that cock into my cunt again and make up for all the pain he'd given me when he had fucked me in the asshole.
"I moved away and managed to roll so that I was lying beside him, facing him. He was crying, but I didn't care. The part of me that was hating him said: 'come on, you big fucker - it's my turn.'
"I played with his prick a little and it got hard again. I arched my leg up over his ass and he fitted his stiff cock into my wet, hot, throbbing and hungry pussy. He put both hands around my ass cheeks, pulling me into the rhythm of his lunges. This time we came right on the dot! I couldn't help but grab his head and kiss him, sticking my tongue deep into his mouth.
"We had a week of that, night after night - even on the night that my mother died.
"My brother, Joe, was in service in South Carolina, and he got a leave to come home for the funeral. The day they buried my mother, I got that same lost, lonesome feeling, and it got worse when my father got drunk and didn't come home.
"My brother never did get along with my Dad and he was mad as hell at the way my father folded up. Because of the big difference in our ages - Joe was eighteen and I was eleven - I felt like I was with a stranger. But he was nice. He must have known how lonely and lost I was, without either Mom or Daddy, and he held me in his arms when I got ready for bed.
"I had that same funny feeling when I felt his prick getting hard. He was in his pajamas and he was laying on my bed beside me, I looked down and saw his big prick and I just couldn't keep my hand off it. I grabbed it and began to jerk it and he seemed to like it. His hand moved to my pussy and he began to run his fingers along the lips of my cunt. I got so excited I began to push my cunt closer, wiggling my hips to get his fingers inside me. He massaged my clit and then I grabbed his head and pulled his mouth down to mine, I stuck my tongue into his mouth and I could feel his cock getting bigger and harder - a lot bigger than my daddy's - and I wanted to feel it inside me!
"I begged: 'Oh, Joe -fuck me. Fuck me wild and hard F He didn't say a word. He just laid me back on my bed, spread my legs and opened my cunt wide open. It was already wet and hot and slippery, and when Joe put the head of it in I felt like I wanted to swallow it with my cunt! Joe was different than my father. He was gentle, tender - but he shoved his big cock deep into my cunt and sent me into a wild sort of heaven. All the while his arms held me close. He kissed my eyes and my hair and forehead, finally kissing me on the mouth, sticking his tongue in deep - not hard or rough - but soft, demanding - asking every bit of love Iliad to give.
"And I gave it. I'm not sorry. Joe is dead now. I'm glad we had that one time to remember. I hope he remembered, at the last.
"We only did it once. Joe had to leave, and after a two-day drunk, my Dad came home. We started right where we'd left off - fucking and sucking, wrestling and biting.
"Dad began to drink heavily. He would stay away from the house for days at a time. Finally, they caught up with him and came and took me to a juvenile home. I don't think anyone knows, to this day, about him and me - or about Joe and me. But they decided that he wasn't a fit father - he'd lost his job through drinking - and here I am.
"I don't know about other men, but when I'm out on my own, I'm going to swing, man. Joe left his G.I. insurance to me, and I don't have to live on welfare, or peddle my ass to live. I don't know where my father is, and frankly, I don't give one good goddamn! He was a rotten bastard. Joe was different because I asked for it from him. Maybe I feel different about him because he's dead, but -well, Joe was different. It meant something to him. It wasn't incest, and it wasn't because he'd been away from women too long. It would have happened anywhere, anytime - and I'm glad it did!"
CHAPTER TWO: Rural Romp
NOTE: When her mother became aware of the sexual indignities to which this child had been subjected, she ordered immediate and continuing psychiatric counseling, The account the girl gives of her sordid early life is taken from those records. We have not changed the context nor meaning of her story, but for purpose of clarity, we have tried to put many of her childish phrases and many stammerings and redundancies into more understandable language, all without losing the childish wonder and shock that she felt as these incidents took place. We hope that we have succeeded in retaining and presenting a picture of this little girl that will remain with the reader forever, for in real life she is an unforgettable person.
"I can't exactly tell you when I first new about sex. I guess it would have to be when I discovered that if I put my finger up inside my 'peeper' - that's what I was taught to call my cunt - and moved it in and out and wiggled it around, it felt good. It never really satisfied me, but it felt good while I was doing it. I used to do it a lot -four or five times a week. I used to get a funny feeling down there, when I'd watch the dogs doing it, and sometimes the pigs. Even the rooster seemed to do it to a bunch of the hens almost every day, but I couldn't see anything like I could with the dogs.
"But when I'd watch Towser - our big beagle - get after one of the girl dogs, and I'd watch that thing of his get big and red and wet, and he'd climb up on the ass of one of the girl dogs and I'd see it disappear inside her - it always made me feel funny. I used to watch how the girl dogs acted, how they humped their behinds out and held still and seemed to like it. I figured whatever it was, it must feel good to them.
"I didn't know then that it made puppies, but when I asked my mother, she told me. She said the boy dog planted some seeds inside the girl dog, and then puppies grew. I didn't have any idea how the puppies got out, but later I saw two or three bunches of them come out of their mother and that scared me. Even then I wondered if all the hurt that must have gone along with those fat, bloody puppies coming out of her peeper was worth the fun she had when the boy dog put them in there.
"But, whenever I would see that boy dog, Towser, or my Collie, Rex, get that thing hard and red, and shove it up inside the females, I had to go and play with myself. I would put my finger up inside my peeper and move it in and out. I found a little bump near the front that felt better than any other place I touched, and when I worked my finger around that, it felt real good. Once, I got a real good feeling all over my stomach and legs, but when I tried it. again it didn't give me the same feeling.
"One day, I was watching the dogs and playing with my peeper, and I had taken my panties off so I could reach it a little better. I was in the barn, in a corner where there was some old blankets, and I looked up and there was Ryan. That's all I ever heard him called, was Ryan. I don't even know if it was his first name or last name. But anyhow, he was standing there, and he was licking his lips in a funny way. He chewed tobacco and the corners of his mouth always looked dirty, and he was licking all the juice from both sides of his lips. I didn't notice at first, but he had his pants open, and he had his thing out and was rubbing his hand up and down it. It had a red, wet, shiny head, like the dog's thing, but it didn't go back as far - the redness and wetness.
"He came over and sat down beside me. I wasn't scared, but I didn't like him much so I moved away a little. He took my hand and put it around his thing and closed my fist about it. Then he reached over and put his own finger inside me and began to rub my little spot. It felt kind of good, but I wasn't really paying much attention to what he was doing. I was watching the wet, red part of his thing as it jumped in and out of my hand. It seemed to be getting bigger and rounder, and I could feel it jump - funny-like - every so often.
"He put his hand around the back of my head and began to move my face down toward it. I didn't know what he wanted me to do and I began to get a little scared. But when he pushed my mouth down close to his thing, I thought he wanted me to kiss it. I kissed it, but he kept on pushing my head harder, and he said, 'Open your mouth, Teenie gal, and suck it. Suck it ... suck it good.'
"I opened my mouth and it slipped in. I knew what he meant by suck ... I used to suck my thumb all the time, and my mother slapped me for it. I let it slip in as far as it would go, and then I sucked it ... hard. He grabbed my body and moved me around so that I was right in front of him. Then he took my ears in his hands and moved my head up and down over his thing, while he heaved and humped ... the same way the dogs did when they were putting their thing in the girl dog.
"His thing filled my mouth and I was afraid I couldn't breathe, but I kept on trying to suck it. It kept going farther down my throat and I began to get a funny feeling, like when I would get sick and vomit, but he kept on pushing it in deeper and deeper, and pushing my face down on it harder. Then it began to jump around, and I felt a lot of hot juice shoot into my mouth. I tried to take my mouth off his thing, but he was holding me down and pushing it in awful fast. All I could do was swallow it as last as I could. It tasted like salt water. I knew about that, because if I got a sore throat, my mother would make me gargle with hot salt water, and that's what it tasted like, only it was thicker than water, and more sticky.
"I didn't know what he was going to do when he yanked it out, after no more juice came out of the hole in it. I had tried my best to suck it and I was afraid that I hadn't done it right. But I guess I did, because he put it back inside his blue jeans and he laid down flat on his stomach and spread my legs. He opened up the lips of my peeper and began to lick it with his tongue. It felt good, and I moved so that he could put his pink, wet tongue up inside it more. He had dark brown stains on his teeth, and I remembered that when he would sort of bite me, every once in awhile. But it felt awful good ... '. better than when I put my finger inside my peeper. I began to get that hot, good feeling all over my legs and my peeper, and I jumped around a lot, especially when it began to spread more and more to my ass and my stomach. Then all at once it went away, but I felt awful good. He kept licking it, but it wouldn't feel hot and tickley like it had, so he stopped.
"He helped put my panties back on. Then he kissed me on the mouth and told me not to say anything to anybody about what we'd done.
"I wouldn't have, anyhow. I liked it. I didn't like Ryan any better, but he gave me a good feeling that I had never had before, and I wouldn't want him to get chased away by my Pa. I don't know how I knew it, but I guess I knew that if my Pa had seen what we were doing, he'd have beat up on Ryan and laid my backside open with a switch.
"We hadn't noticed it, but the dogs had finished long before we did. When Ryan left, he gave me a dime - a whole dime for myself. I didn't know how I'd get to spend it without my Ma of Pa knowing I had it, but it meant a lot to me then. I put it in my shoe. When I went into the house, I went up to my bed and thought about Ryan with his tongue inside me. Even his finger felt good ... but not like his tongue had.
"I stuck my own finger inside my peeper again and I thought about Ryan and his finger and his tongue. Then I thought about his thing in my mouth, and it made me get that same hot, funny feeling between my legs. I remembered how he had grabbed my head and ears, and how it had tasted and felt when he kept shoving it into my mouth, and how it had tasted and felt when I had swallowed his juice. And, while I was remembering it, and sticking my finger up inside my peeper, I got that same good, hot, all-over feeling again. Not as good as when Ryan had put his tongue in, or when I was sucking his thing, but it was real good. It made me sweat, and I wished that he was there in my bedroom, and we could put the latch on the door and do it all over again.
"After school next day I went up to the barn again, and waited until he came in to milk the cows. We had two of them, and I waited until he had finished and taken the milkpails to the root cellar. I guess a lot of people don't even know what that is, do they? Well, it's a big hole that my Pa dug under the tool shed. You put milk and stuff down there, because it's cool, and the milk or meat don't get sour or bad.
"I let Ryan know I was there, because I hoped he'd come back - and he did. He seemed awful glad to see me. First, he picked me up in his arms and kissed me and I could feel his big hands digging into the cheeks of my backside. I liked that feeling. He told me to open my mouth. I did and he slid his tongue inside it, and that made me get that feeling again. He slid one hand around to the front and rubbed the lips of my thing with his fingers. I wanted to do it so bad that I felt like hollering.
"He took me up in the haymow. It wasn't very big, because we didn't need much hay for the two cows we had, and the one mule, but it was nice. It was warm and cozy - like the treehouse that Ella Waters had.
"This time he took my panties off and he went right down between my legs with his tongue. I got that feeling real quick, and real good, and I even reached down and grabbed his ears and pulled his face closer. He kept taking his tongue out and looking into my peeper, and he said, 'I'm glad you ain't got no hair, Teenie. I like 'em without hair on 'em. And he really worked on that little bump where it felt so good. He bit me a little, and that made me jump, but it tickled me and felt awful good, and with my foot - I was barefooted - I could feel his thing getting big. It bulged out against his pants, and then he did a funny thing: he put his hand up between my legs ... he didn't stop licking me ... and he ran his big finger up my shit-hole!
"I would never have guessed that that would feel good, but it did. He worked it in easy, a little at a time, and it really made me feel extra good, so that by the time I was all primed for that good feeling - I know now that it's called 'come' - it went up to my face and all over my stomach and legs and through my backside. He kept on licking, only this time he moved down a little and licked my asshole, after he'd took his finger out of it, of course.
"I never felt so good, and when he moved away and slid his cock out through the fly of his pants, I was ready to eat it and suck it good, to make sure he'd keep doing that to me.
"Then he rolled me over on my stomach. I remember how the hay stuck into my peeper and hurt. It hurt my stomach, too, but I wanted him to have that good feeling, too, so I just let him go ahead. He spit on his hand and rubbed it on his thing, and he moved me so that I was up on my knees. And then he took his thing in his hand and pushed it up under me. He used his other hand to try to spread the lips of my peeper, and I reached under myself and tried to help him.
"I didn't know that it was going to hurt me, so when he gave one big push, and it went in pretty deep, I thought I was going to split in two! I couldn't help it; I screamed something - I don't know what -and I kept on screaming. He stopped pushing and clapped one hand over my mouth. He kept saying over and over: 'Don't holler, Teenie ... please don't holler!'
"But I couldn't help it. It felt like a knife had been shoved up inside me - a hot knife. I thought I could feel the blood running out of my peeper. It turned out later that I did bleed a little, but at that moment I was just scared. There wasn't any good feeling, no hot feeling ... I was cold and I was scared, and I screamed! "He stopped holding my mouth with his hand and scrambled away and buttoned up his jeans. Then he backed down the ladder to the haymow and he kept on saying: 'Don't say anything, Teenie. Don't say one goddam thing ... please don't!'
"I heard my father down below. I heard him hit Ryan. My Pa was swearing something awful, calling him dirty names like: 'baby-fucker,' and 'cunt-lapper,' and 'shit-ass fuck-head.'
"I crawled over and looked down. I saw Ryan on the floor and my father bending over, beating him with his fists and kicking him in the ass and the legs. After awhile, Ryan just laid there with his hands and arms around his head, and my father just told him to get the fuck out, and never come back, and to not try to collect his wages or he'd find his ass in jail.
"Ryan crawled out and I knew that I would get it. I was shivering and I didn't even have sense enough to put my panties on. My Pa came up that ladder like a streak, and I guess the first thing he saw was my spread-out cunt, staring him right in the face when he cleared the top of the haymow. I don't know what he intended to do when he started to climb, but he screamed at me: 'You want to be fucked and sucked, huh! All right, I'll give you all the fuckin' you'll ever need!
"He clawed his way into the haymow, tearing open the buttons on his fly, and he spread my legs with his hands, using his fingernails and making my legs bleed. He tore my legs open and he held them wide. Then he just went down on my peeper with his teeth and mouth. He bit and he sucked and he licked until I didn't know what he really wanted to do to me. I guess he wanted to hurt me, and he did, a lot; but he stopped biting and using his nails, and he began to suck and lick. He was making funny sounds, groaning and trying to get his tongue deeper inside my peeper, and even through all the hurt that Ryan had given me, and my Pa's biting, at the beginning, I began to get that feeling again!
"He just went wild. I don't know what he felt, but he was wild to eat my peeper! He stuck his tongue a lot deeper into me than Ryan had, and I couldn't help myself. I got that same hot, tickley feeling all over me, and I could feel his thing with my bare feet, and it was as big and hard as Ryan's had been. I was scared, even if I was feeling good, because I wondered what he would do to me when he stopped.
"I didn't know what to do, so I just let go and I got that same feeling ... maybe it was even better. And when he felt me jumping around like that, and then I quieted down, he took his mouth away from my slit and did a funny thing ... he bent down and kissed the lips of it, real gentle and soft, without sticking his tongue in. Then he just laid his head down on it and squeezed my ass cheeks, mumbling something that I couldn't hear very well. I think he said, 'I've wanted it so long ... and I've got it.' But, I don't know if that is really what he said. I think he did. Anyhow, he worked his thing out of his pants, and he started to move up, holding it in his hand. I could feel it rubbing against my leg, and I wondered if it would be big and red at the tip, like Ryan's. I didn't know then that the difference was in being circumcised. I know now, but I didn't then. Anyhow, his thing, creeping up my leg, was wet and I saw later, red and angry looking. He was peeling back the loose skin that went over the head of it, and rubbing the wet part against my leg as he moved his thing higher and higher, closer to my peeper.
"But, by that time, I wanted it. I wanted to see it, to feel it and to taste it. He didn't know that, and even if I didn't know it at the time, he was as scared about what he was doing as Ryan had been. But he was hot ... that's a thing I've really learned - to be able to tell when a man is hot:-and he was.
"He was so hot for me that he began to jab his thing in between my legs. He didn't even try to find my peeper, he was that wild. He was humping and shoving like the dogs, when they started out. I had seen a lot of dogs, and even if they climb the leg of somebody ... like a couple had done to me ... they just jab and jab ... they don't know or care if they hit the spot. That's how Pa was ... just jabbing.
"I was a little scared, but somehow I knew that he wouldn't dare to do anything about Ryan and me ... not with what he was trying to do, so I just relaxed. I really laid back and let him do what he wanted to do, mostly because he was doing what I wanted him to do. He was big, wet and hot.
"And then, somehow, his thing slid into my cunt It burned and it hurt, but I was afraid to scream. Pa's eyes were glazed. He picked my ass up in both his hands and spread my legs as wide as they would go, and he rammed his prick inside me hard! I just bit my lips to keep from screaming out, and in a minute or so, I felt a lot of wet, sticky juice shoot inside me. That was all I felt. I didn't get any good feeling out of it because I was numb with the hurt I'd had from the second he put his prick inside me.
"Pa relaxed his whole weight on me then, and he began to cry. I was scared, and I cried too. He raised up after awhile and pulled his dick out. It was wet and slimy, and it had streaks of blood on it - my blood. He took out his blue bandana and wiped his prick, then he wiped my cunt. He was still crying, and every once in awhile, he would call himself a dirty name - the same things he'd called Ryan - and even worse!
"I stopped crying when he put my panties on, and we went down the ladder to the floor of the barn. Pa knelt down and took me in his arms and kissed me on the mouth. He said, 'Forgive me, my baby. Forgive me. I'll never do that again. I shouldn't have done it. Please, try to forgive me.'
"I didn't know then how tormented he was because I didn't think it had been that bad. He had hurt me, but it wasn't so bad that I couldn't stand it. I just patted his face and kissed him and told him that it was all right.
"And Pa kept his promise. He never again touched me. In fact, he turned stone cold to me. That happened when I was ten, and during the next two years, he never did kiss me or hug me.
"He died when I was twelve. But from the day Pa fucked me, I guess I liked it a lot, because I used to let the boys at school finger-fuck me and I would jerk them off and sometimes, I'd suck their pricks. I didn't know that all the boys were laughing at me and calling me dirty names. I used to do those things in front of other boys and girls, but when a boy wanted to have sex with one of the other girls, they would go someplace by themselves. After I'd jerked one boy's cock one day, down by the creek where we went swimming, he said to me: 'I'll bet you'd let a dog fuck you, you're so horny.'
"I slapped him hard, and he got mad and hit me and knocked me back on the grass. His pecker was still hard, and he had been fingering my cunt, with my panties off. He spread my legs wide apart, using his knees to pin them, and then he rammed his prick up into my cunt with one big push! It had been a year since Ryan and Pa had done it to me, and I had almost forgotten how it had hurt and scared me. I had masturbated a lot of times since then, and maybe I had made my cunt bigger, but anyhow, it didn't hurt me when Mac rammed it in. In fact, it felt kind of good, so I began to move my pussy upward as he was plunging his body downward. And when he finally began to hit my knob with his thrusts, I began to get that same old, good, hot feeling.
"There were three other boys there watching, and they were making smart-alecky remarks, but I didn't care, because I was having a good time. One of them said, 'I don't mind sloppy seconds, Mac - leave some for me.'
"I came a couple of seconds after Mac, and I was hot for more. But he pulled his cock out and jumped up and called to Tom, the boy who said he wanted 'sloppy seconds,' to come and take over. All three of the boys had been jerking themselves off, so Tom didn't have any problem getting his cock hard for me. He came over, climbed on and began to shove it in. I could tell that it was his first time, because he was clumsy and he couldn't keep it in, .at first. But he let his whole body go and pretty soon he was hitting my knob every stroke. I came before he did, but I stayed with him and pumped away until I felt him squirt inside of me.
"I was still pretty hot, so when the third boy wanted to fuck me, I told him it was okay. He wasn't very good at it, either, and his cock had gone soft after he had jerked off. I told him to lay down, and I played with his cock a little, then I sucked it for him until it got hard. But I sucked it too long, and he shot his juice into my mouth before he had a chance to fuck me.
"I thought that they would treat me nice, after that, but instead they would taunt me at school and call me names like 'cocksucker,' and 'fuckhappy.'
"But they all came back for more lucking and sucking, and they even brought other boys along. Sometimes, the first time they did it, the boys would give me some money - not much, but two of them gave me fifty cents, and that seemed like an awful lot of money to me then.
"After my father died, my mother sold the farm and we moved to the city. Well, it wasn't really big enough to be called a city, but there were two churches, a school for all grades, right through high school, and they had a movie house, too.
"I was excited to be moving to a big town like that, and I could hardly wait to get acquainted with all the kids at school. The girls were kind of cold to me at first, but the boys weren't. I guess I must have smiled at a lot of them, because they took to me right away.
"I was only in school a couple of days when one of the boys, who was about sixteen, grabbed me by the cunt, and said, 'Hey, you're kind of cute, kid.' He just kept on walking, but he looked back and laughed. Believe it or not, just that one grab at my snatch had got me excited. It had been a long time since any boy had fucked me or even touched me, and I was all hot and bothered.
"I hollered at him to come back, and he turned around and walked toward me. I think he felt I was going to give him a good bawling out, because he had a hard look on his face when he stopped in front of me. He put his hands on his hips and said gruffly, 'Yeah?'
"I asked, 'Why'd you grab me by the pussy that way?'
"It surprised him and he just stood there frowning. Then he said, 'Because I felt like it.'
" 'Is that all you wanted to do?' I asked. He looked me up and down, then said, 'What the hell is going on?'
"I came right out and put it to him. 'Would you like to fuck me?'
" 'You're a wise little cunt, aren't you?' He snarled.
"I said, 'No, I mean it - if you want to.
"He started to walk away, then he turned and said,' Are you for real?'
"I walked up to him and told him I wanted him to fuck me. There was a shed in back of the schoolyard, where they used to keep softballs, volleybalis, nets, all that junk, so we went in there. I took my panties off and laid down on a pile of netting and spread my legs. It didn't take him any time at all to get his cock out and it was already pretty hard. He got down on top of me and went right in. It had been so long since I'd had any that I came in a few seconds, but he didn't, and by the time he came I had already had my second come.
"He began to kiss me, sticking his tongue into my mouth when he was ready to come, and I helped him all I could.
"He came a lot, but then he jumped up and wiped his prick off with his handkerchief, and opened the door and peeked out. He said, 'I'll leave first. We'd get hell if they caught us here together. Then he left. I could hear him running across the paved court I felt real good and I knew it was going to be all right for me at school. I knew that I would have all the sex I needed."
Teenie may never have all the sex she wants or needs. She is a classic nymphomaniac. Unable to satisfy her inordinate desire for sex, Teenie took on almost every boy in the school who was willing. Then she moved into faster company and began to roam the streets of the small town in which she lived, picking up men of any age.
At age twelve, she contracted a severe case of syphillis and was placed in a hospital. She was eventually cured, but her real sickness - a destructive appetite for sex - may never be completely cured or even curbed substantially.
Psychiatrists who have worked with her feel that she is what they term a "morally retarded" person. She is unable to recognize the fact that she is a delinquent, because her childish emotional structure has never developed beyond the baby stage, in which a child knows only pain or pleasure. He desires pleasure and shuns pain, and he becomes resentful and balky if pleasure is denied him.
This is Teenie's attitude. It is difficult to decide if or when she will be able to resume her place in society. With the promiscuity of today's teen-agers, Teenie would be certain to join in all sorts of sex games.
In many ways, she is a normal girl. In certain of her school subjects, she does better than average. But in all areas that involve sound judgement, tolerance, moral soundness and consideration for others, which calls for obeying the established rules, she draws a zero.
Blame is difficult to place. Of course, the hired hand, Ryan, was to blame - and the father of the girl. However, after months of trying to uncover the real person inside the delicate boy of this girl, two of the doctors who have spent the most time with her, feel that in any set of circumstances, in any city or rural community, Teenie would have followed much the same sex pattern.
Medical science does not yet know what causes the uncontrollable passions that we associate with nymphomania. It is to be hoped that, perhaps in working with Teenie, one more ray of light may be shed on this mysterious subject.
CHAPTER THREE: The Homosexual Pro
"Hell are you kiddin'? My brothers and sisters played with my dick from the time I was real little. I guess I was hardly walkin' before my brothers had me tryin' to stick it in some girl. I wasn't even seven when my older brothers screwed me in the rear ... "
This was part of the response of Jack K. when asked if he remembered his first sexual experience.
Psychiatrists point out that the sexual life of an individual begins almost at birth. The tissue involved in the sex organ is responsive from the beginning - and the child learns early, by trial and error, that pleasure from manipulation is possible.
The first form of sexual activity is known as infantile auto-erotic behavior. A noted psychiatrist states, "Studies show that auto-erotic responses are by no means abnormal, but occur frequently even in very young children." Such behavior, however, is much more common in the male than in the female, primarily because of the availability and convenience of the male organ. "From about one to six years it is frequently indulged in by children of both sexes. From six to adolescence there tends to be less of it than before, but at adolescence it reappears together with a more direct interest in sexual expression generally."
The reason we note this statement is to show that children not only are capable of sexuality in their early years, as Jackie was, but are almost anxious for the opportunity to participate - through auto-erotic behavior initially and later with other humans. It is commonly agreed upon in psychiatry that early sexual experiences will affect the individual's later life. Early background factors tend to show why Jack became, at age twelve, a professional homosexual prostitute, selling his sexual favors and prostituting his young body for older men who were happy to pay him for what, to Jack, was very natural and pleasurable sexual behavior. We see, too, that much of it has more to do with the psychological makeup of the child than with his physical being.
Continuing with Jackie's revelation to the psychiatrist:
"Hell, I knew what a cock was for before I could even walk. I was even in bed sometimes when my old lady was screwin' one of her boyfriends.
This is understandable, for Jack's mother was an uneducated, almost illiterate woman, who had lived in near poverty all her life. She was from a Southern sharecropper's large brood, and at age thirteen, had run away from home in the company of a thirty-eight-year-old sexpot who, at the same time, was deserting a large family of his own.
"He dumped Jack's mother when she became pregnant, and this child was the first of six that she would bear - all out of wedlock. Jack was the second youngest of a family of four boys and two girls. None of them knew their father, so all adopted the promiscuous mother's maiden name.
When she felt lonely, Jack's mother went to a bar. She drank heavily, but her big hangup was sex, not alcohol. She was almost a nymphomaniac, and at the bar, she would take home the first man who made an offer. Sometimes it was just for a night, but often the man stayed on until either he, or Jack's mother, grew tired of the situation. Few, if any of them, ever worked or contributed anything to the welfare of the children. For all his life, Jack knew nothing but a "welfare" existence.
The woman and her ragtag brood eventually ended up in Los Angeles where they lived in a cheap "welfare walk-up." It consisted on one bedroom, a combination kitchen-living room, and a bathroom with inadequate plumbing. Because of the cramped quarters and the low morality of the adults in the house, the children observed sexual relations and heard sexual conversations. They were, in other words, versed early in the facts of life. Little wonder that Jack knew "what a cock was" before he could talk plainly.
Asked about his childhood sexual activities, Jack said, "Hell, in that neighborhood everybody was pretty much alike, so we did the same things -and it was what we wanted. When my brothers were eight and nine, I used to watch them taking the neighbor girls' pants down and stickin' their little dicks into them. I guess we tried just about everything. We used to jack each other off even before we could come, and fuck each other in the ass. We even screwed our own sisters. The thing was, nobody said anything - I mean, nobody ever went crying to their old ladies or old men. If they did, they got the shit kicked out of them. Besides, their old ladies and old men were fuckin' around so much themselves they couldn't have said nothin'. It was the same at all the other kids' houses. You know, women with kids livin' with a guy awhile, then switchin' to another. You might call a guy 'daddy' for awhile, but you knew he wasn't going to stay around long -just until he got tired of fuckin' your old lady and eatin' free grub - drinkin' free beer and booze.
"Most of the guys that shacked with my old lady were pricks, anyway. All they wanted was steady screwing and the old lady support!n' them off her welfare money. The old ladies never looked at it that way, but they were really buyin' their meat."
Jackie went on:
"Like I told you, I had sex all around me when I was young, so I couldn't just put my finger on the first sex. But I do remember one of the first times. I was almost ten, and I was selling papers to try to get some money. Even then I just dreamed of gettin' away from there. There was this place like a rooming house, and an old guy that lived there. When I went in to sell him a paper, he invited me into his room. He bought a paper. Next night he invited me in again, and he said if I'd stay to talk a little while, he'd buy all my papers. What he meant was, he ended up by takin' my pants down and sucking my dick. From then on, I just went there. He'd pay me for my papers every day and then suck my cock.
"I didn't see anything wrong with it. If a guy wanted to suck my prick, it didn't hurt me none - and I got the money. But I didn't do it to him. He used to jerk off though, and he'd shoot a big load of jism into his hand, then go into the bathroom and wash it off, I couldn't come yet, but I sure got a good feeling when he sucked mine. The old guy used to just suck my cock and work my little nuts around with his hand until he got tired. Then he'd jerk off. A couple of times, he offered me an extra half-dollar to jerk his cock, but I never did until he came."
The important part of this event to Jackie, was that he discovered that he could earn money by participating in a sexual affair. In his later life that was to have two meanings. It meant he could get money from a man and demand obedience or whatever he wanted from a woman. He had subconsciously been given the idea that his sex - his penis - was valuable. Fate was on his side by providing him with a good body, a handsome face, and a penis that was somewhat larger than average and therefore interesting to others.
But even more important is the fact that, because of the moral atmosphere in which he had been raised, he had been able to enter into a homosexual relationship with no hesitation - nor did it seem important enough to mention it to any member of his family. He had been taught to view homosexuality as something quite normal and inoffensive. Had he been taught differently, he might have entered adulthood as a normally healthy heterosexual, for Jackie did have experiences with girls.
"I played with little girls even when I was a little kid - I mean, I stuck my fingers up their twats. Then later, I'd pinch their titties and sometimes kiss 'em and bite the nipples. I guess I really had my cock in a little girl when I was about nine, but I couldn't come then. The first time I remember shooting a load into a girl was when I was thirteen but that was after I'd become almost totally queer for men. I guess I tried this girl because she made fun of me. She called me a cocksucker and a 'sissy-boy,' so I hit her a good one, got her on the grass, ripped off her pants, and shoved my cock into her cunt. I had to jerk it a little at first to get it good and stiff, but when I pushed it into her, I didn't get a lot of bangs out of it. I came, but it wasn't so hot.
"By that time, I found out that I could make money with my cock. I saved it up, and when I was twelve, I cut out. I hitchhiked my way to San Francisco by lettin' guys suck me off. It was then that I decided to really 'earn my way' as a cocksucker.
"My first shot at it came when this guy started fartin' around and rubbing my cock. He pulled his car off the road and took it out and jerked it some, then he went down on me. He acted like he was starved for it, and he kept moanin' about what a sweet, baby cock I had. I could shoot a good load by then, and this guy really got to me. He kept on suckin' until I'd come the second time. He begged me to go to a motel with him, and he gave me ten bucks! I'd never seen that much dough all at once. I'd have stayed a week with him for that, and done anything he wanted me to.
"We drove until we came to a cheap motel and we got a room. He was a silly bastard. He thought that I was a dum-dum, that I was 'cherry,' as far as ass-fucking and sucking went. Hell, I'd been doing it all since before I could really remember. This guy was a soft touch, in a way. He'd already crossed my palm, you know, but when we got inside the motel, he acted as if he was the one that was a kid, instead of me. He horsed around, making silly remarks like: 'It's pretty hot. You want to take a shower? I think I'll strip and shower. Why don't you get undressed and cool off?' Hell, he'd already settled it when he asked me if I'd go to a motel with him. I knew the score. But I learned a lot from him about a hot ass and a hot mouth, and I remembered it later, believe you me.
"And I played his game. Hell, I figured he had a fat wallet - I'd seen it before -and I might get another ten or so from him. So I undressed and watched him as he took his clothes off. He was shaking, he was so hot to gobble and ass-fuck. I walked over and pretended to be awed by his prick. I took it in my hand and fondled it a little, and he began to get a good hard on. To tease him some more, I bent and licked the head of it. He was circumcised, and I ran my tongue, then my lips, around the rim of the head of his cock. He tried to grab my neck and shove my mouth down farther, but I knew I had him now, so I closed my teeth, drew away and went into the shower and turned it on. I was all lathered up when he stepped in with me. To me, a shower is a big treat, even to this day, after that goddamned firetrap we lived in. It had a bathtub, but half the time it plugged up, and it always smelled like a shithouse - and that's no joke.
"When this guy got into the shower with me, he grabbed the soap and lathered his hands good, then he began to lather my prick and my ass-crack, running his finger up my asshole every other pass or so. I got a pretty good hard-on, and he rinsed it off and went down on me. He sucked me until I came good, and then he turned me around and just lathered my asshole and his prick with slippery soap. He shut off the shower and told me to bend over. I'd had a couple of guys try to put their cocks up my asshole, but it hadn't worked. But they hadn't had anything to oil it up, like that soap did. I bent over and braced myself against the wall and the guy put his hands on my hips after he positioned the head of his prick into my asshole, and then he just began to slip it in. It didn't hurt at all - just made me feel like I had to take a good shit - and after a bit, it began to feel good.
"He kept on going, deeper and deeper into my asshole, and all the while he kept mumbling about what a 'sweet baby' I was, and all that crap.
"When he came, I got a sort of a kick out of it. I don't know why, but it made me feel good - like I was a grown man.
"He washed his cock off and I could see little traces of shit on the white wash cloth. I had a funny tingle up inside my asshole, but it wasn't hurting. I had liked the way he had gobbled my prick. He took it way down his throat, it seemed, with a sucking, inhaling motion and I had a good come.
"We dried off and went out on the bed, and he began to play with my cock again. I got hard and I played with his and he got a real good stiff on. I guess I really wanted to feel his nice, big prick in my mouth, so I just went down on it without him even asking me. It felt good when I felt him shiver and jerk every time I plunged my mouth down over his cock. I speeded it up with the sucking and tonguing and just at the end, he rolled me over so he was straddling my face. He plunged it in so deep that I gagged, but I hung on, and when he shot a good load of juice into my mouth, I swallowed it and kept on sucking.
"He got off and went into the bathroom. He came out with a bar of soap atid rubbed my cock and his asshole good. Then he got on his knees on the bed and told me to fuck him in the ass! Hell! All this fun, and he was paying me for it! I'd tried to ass-fuck a couple of guys, but it had hurt because their assholes were too dry. But this was different. My little cock slipped inside his asshole easily, and it felt good to feel the friction on all sides. I got into the rhythm of it real good, and he helped, humping his ass and moving around from side to side.
"I came real good, and after that, we had one more session, laying side by side, so we could suck each other's cock at the same time. That was a good one, too.
"I slept like a log, and next morning he gave me another ten bucks and took me to the city he was going to. It was about one hundred miles from San Francisco, and he wanted to make a date with me when I came back. He gave me-his address and phone number and told me to get in touch anytime I wanted to make another twenty bucks. But I never saw him again."
The psychiatrist whom Jack consulted later, again emphasized the significant effect of this, his first "commercial" engagement in homosexuality. To Jack, with his sordid background, it looked like a "soft touch," and for the next four years this boy made his living as a professional homosexual prostitute.
"It was easy in San Francisco," Jack boasted. "I knew I didn't have to go hungry or be poor again as long as I knew how to suck cocks and bend over so guys could cornhole me. I don't know if I really liked it, but it sure seemed an easy way - and a hell of a lot better way than I'd known - to stay alive and have some fun - and eat good.
"I took a job in a gymnasium. I was big for my age and the guy that run the place was as queer as a three-dollar-bill, so there was no problem. He had a place on the top floor of the building where the gym was, and after we had nicked and sucked each other, he asked me if I wanted to really make some dough.
"It turned out that there were a lot of businessmen that came into the joint - it had steam baths, massages, a swimming pool - all that jazz - and he told me that a lot of the old boys that were regular customers would pay ten or twenty a throw for a good ass-fucking or a blow job.
"I went along with it, knowing in the back of my mind that I wasn't going to stay a 'towel boy' very long. I'd seen enough of hard-up old guys to know that I could latch onto a sugar-man who'd pay the freight for as far as I wanted to go. And I was right. I'd been at the gym for about two months when I met Mel.
"We had a regular routine worked out with the steady customers. If they wanted me, for instance, they would just .say they wanted a 'youth treatment.' If they wanted one of the other guys there - there were three other cock-suckers and ass-fuckers beside me - each of them had a certain code name, and each of us had a certain room that could be locked from the inside.
"A few of the guys were a little weird. Like one old guy who used to like to suck and fuck in the steam room, and another guy that liked to get me in the pool and cornhole me while we were under water. They always paid extra, so I did most anything they wanted.
"I lived with Merkle, the owner, for the first couple of weeks. Then I moved in with a guy named Shad. He was about twenty-two, and he worked there. He was a 'muscle nut' who was always lifting weights and that stuff. He was popular with a lot of the younger guys. Shad was a real homo 'queen' and he hung around a gay bar where he was a real bigshot. Everybody knew he was a pro during the day, and most of his friends considered it a real honor when Shad would give them a play.
"When I moved in with him, he became more popular than ever, because I got right into the swing of things - except I couldn't go to the bar with him. The owner was a queer, but he kept a straight place as far as liquor rules, age limits, and especially the 'no-soliciting' rule went. Shad told me that the cops were always nosing around the place, but the owner made sure that all the gay guys behaved. What they did among themselves was all right, though.
"Shad used to bring them up to the place, and I liked them a lot better than the old guys I met at the gym. They were younger and happier. They could laugh and joke, whereas all the customers at the place were sour and strictly out to get their rocks off without ever smiling or having any fun out of it. Just sex.
"Sometimes, one of the guys would give me some money, like if he brought in a new guy that wasn't one of the regulars, and the guy wanted some 'young stuff.' I'd become a sort of a specialist at sucking guys off, although a lot of guys still liked my ass for fucking. Shad taught me a lot about how to really suck a guy off, using your hands and your tongue and your teeth, to give it an extra kick. I learned how to make a lot of guys last longer before they came, too, and I became a favorite with all the guys that hung around Shad.
"Then I hooked up with Ray. He was a television cameraman. He had a nice place down in Hollywood where he worked, and he went for me right away. Homos all have connections in any city they go to, and Ray knew Shad, and when he would come to San Francisco, he would date Shad and some of the other guys that hung out at the bar.
"Shad brought him to our place and I think that this was the first time a homo ever 'made love to me.' I mean, Ray really turned it on. He necked with me for an hour before he sucked my cock. He kissed my body all over and he tongued my asshole until I almost got mad at him for holding off so long with my come. But when I did, finally, boy - it was the best.
"He worked me hard again, then had me mount him. He had an asshole that was easy to slide into, but tight when you got your cock in, and he was the best ass-fuck I'd ever had. When I shot up his ass, I was hot to really please him. I gave him the most special suck job I knew how to. I tried to make it last, like he had, by building him up, then stopping at the last second, and kissing his balls and asshole some more, sucking on his nipples, running my fingers over his back, using my fingernails. When I gave the final sucks, I had a good six inches of his prick down my throat and it felt good when he unloaded his hot juice into my mouth. I swallowed it and kept tonguing and sucking his lovely cock until it got nice and hard again.
Then I got up on my knees and shoved it in my ass. He used some vaseline, and I was so eager to give him a good fuck that I tried to move my hips and legs so that he could get it all up inside me. He must have because I could feel his balls slapping against my crotch every time he lunged in. But he was easy with me, and he kept talking to me all the time, telling me how wonderful I was, and that he'd fallen in love with me, and never wanted to lose me.
"After he came, we just laid there on the bed, kissing each other on the mouth, playing with each other's pricks. When we both got all hot and hard again, I turned around facing Ray, and we sucked each other off. It was beautiful the way we just seemed to sense what the other wanted, and we came in each other's mouth at exactly the same time.
"I hated to leave Shad, but I guess I'd kind of fallen in love with Ray, too. So when he begged me to go to Los Angeles and live with him, I did.
"Ray was awful good to me, and I didn't find out until almost a year later that he swung both ways. He made a lot of female friends in the TV business, and when he'[d tell me that he had a date with one of them, I thought he was just putting on a front. I didn't know then how many of the TV and movie people are either homos or lesbians, or go both ways, like Ray. But I went to a movie one night, and when I came home, there was Ray in bed with this girl.
"That was my first three-way deal with a girl in it. I had had some orgies in San Francisco, but it was always with a bunch of guys.
"It wasn't bad 'at all, because this girl - I think her name was Ann - went the whole route. She fucked, sucked, and let Ray and I fuck her in the ass. I got kind of hooked on her, and Ray seemed kind of pleased, because he brought her home a lot after that. Later on, another couple and a guy used to come over often, and we'd really have a ball.
"I lived with Ray until I was seventeen, and in a way, we loved each other. But it began to wear thin, and I liked to do it both ways - with women as well as guys - more and more. I actually liked fucking a cunt a lot more than I thought I would. And when I started going with this one girl pretty steady, Ray and I had a big, nasty fight, and he tossed me out. I didn't have any money and the only thing I could do was to move in with this girl.
"She didn't have much dough, either. She was trying to get into movies or TV and was working as a cocktail waitress in some club. I looked about nineteen, but Terri was scared to take a chance of me going to the club, although I drank pretty good at home. She was twenty-five, and she used to be good to me and bring home all her tips and her salary. But she had to go out days and make the rounds of the casting offices - and a few casting couches, I guess - and she had to dress real nice, so there wasn't much money.
"I'd made a lot of contacts through Ray, so I began to pick up on some of the homos that I knew had a little money. I began to sell it. I have never met a man I ever fell in love with, other than Ray, so I used to just come right out and tell a guy who was making a pass that it would cost him.
"Then Terri began to get a little nasty. She didn't like me being a prostitute. Besides, I was keeping all the dough for myself. I wanted to get a place of my own, where I wouldn't feel tied down. I told her that was how it was going to be - if I wanted to go out, to suck or fuck, for money or for the hell of it - she had nothing to say about it.
"She begged me to give up homo activities. She said she couldn't understand me, because she was young, beautiful, and that whatever a 'queer' could offer, she could always go him one better - she had a mouth, an asshole, and a cunt. That was another thing that used to get me mad - she always used the word 'queer.'
"I screwed her a lot, but it wasn't enough for her. I suppose she was getting some on the side, but it didn't matter to me, as long as she left me alone. We began to fight pretty good, and I couldn't make her understand that I wasn't having 'affairs' as she called them, with guys. I was just sucking them off and letting them ass-fuck me for money!
"Anyhow, we both started to drink pretty good. And one night, she brought this guy home with her - some goddamned pantywaist that was married, and who had conned her into believing he could get her some TV roles. I was pissed off that she'd go that far, but that wasn't the half of it! She'd told this sonofa-bitch that we'd have a three-way deal! That I'd suck his cock and let him ass-fuck me!
"That tore it. I beat the livin' shit out of her, and when he got into it, I kicked hell out of him, too. I put him in the hospital and the bastard had me arrested. He said in court that Terri had coaxed him to her place, and then set him up so I could blackmail him. It sounded pretty good to the judge, I guess, because Terri got ninety days in the county jail for prostitution and conspiracy, while they sent me to reform school because I was a juvenile.
"I stayed there for over three years - until I was twenty-one. It wasn't too bad. I found the routine to do 'easy time' right away - and I still got paid off for sucking cocks! Not in money, much, but in soft assignments, cigarettes, booze, free time - you know - and it wasn't too bad.
"When I got out, I needed dough. I contacted Ray and he fixed me up with a pad, and I went straight, flat-assed 'whore.' Ray got me a job in a TV station - not much, but it was something, anyhow. Between working and sucking cocks, I lived pretty good."
So Jack, because of his early childhood and sexual experiences, became a piece of human driftwood at the young age of twenty-one.
He married and fathered a child, but it didn't work. He continued his homosexual and heterosexual activities without letup, seemingly unable to give up either sexual drive. Throughout his two year marriage, he continued to be a homosexual whore.
Now, at age twenty-six, he is in the second year of psychiatric therapy. He is slowly becoming aware of the reasons for his behavior, and reports indicate that he is well on the way to fulfilling his own needs for a normal and fruitful life.
CHAPTER FOUR: The Nymphette Pain Lover
Each of us has a degree of masochism in us. This can be easily proved by recalling what a good feeling it was when we were punished by our parents for something we thought we had gotten away with, but which had been giving us a "guilty conscience."
Another way for most adults to test whether or not they have masochistic tendencies, is to recall the chills and thrills of a sex partner biting the ear, scratching parts of the body with fingernails, and so on.
However, responding to mild stimuli of a physical nature does not make one a masochist, in the true sense of the word.
A masochist is a person who either requires physical or mental punishment to be aroused enough to indulge in sex, or who requires punishment to attain a climax or feel sexual fulfillment, or the extreme, where a person can attain sexual climax without intercourse by being physically whipped, beaten, burned or mutilated.
As mentioned, we all have latent masochistic tendencies, yet, psychiatrists maintain that "masochists are not born - they are made."
The case of Ginny tends to bear their theory out.
Ginny came to our attention after participating in a bloody, gruesome "pain orgy." Subsequent sessions with psychologists brought out the grim facts which made Ginny a classic masochist.
She was admittedly and avidly a "pain-lover" and when asked by doctors if she had any idea why, her story unfolded:
"No, I guess I don't really know," Ginny began. "I guess there's always been violence in my life. My Dad and Mom were always fighting, and they never cared if I was there or not. And I mean fighting - where blood showed, most of the time.
"I didn't have any brothers or sisters and I don't think my parents wanted me. I was a mistake or a slip - or something. They never acted like they loved me. I was just something that had happened, and they had to take care of me - like it or not. I remember lots of nights and even weekends, when they would go off and just leave me alone with nobody to watch out for me or nothing. But I got used to that and learned to take care of myself pretty good.
"I used to be fascinated by their fighting. Partly because I used to wonder why they stayed together, if they hated each other, and partly because I began to see that they deliberately hurt each other, and sometimes, I even thought that they liked it.
"One time, when I was seven or so, they did it different. I didn't understand it at the time, but it makes sense to me now. Mom and Dad were having one of their arguments, and this one was a dilly. It was loud and nasty; they had been in ugly moods and had been at each other's throats all day. I knew a big one was coming, and I was watching TV, but I also kept one eye on them. I was pretty used to it, so it didn't bother me much. I could even follow the TV story while they were going at it.
"All at once, my father yelled, 'You cock-sucking bitch!' Then I heard a loud smack and my mother screamed, 'You fuckin' gorilla!'
"I turned around and saw my mother lying on the floor, about three feet from my father. She was holding her mouth and some blood was running out of it into her hand. I guess he had really hit her a good one.
"Then she got up and ran at him with her fists doubled up, yelling, 'You no-good, fuckin' bastard!' She swung at him and he lashed back with his fist and smashed her in the face and she fell down again. Then she crawled over to him and grabbed him by the ankles and began to pull herself up slowly. Each time she would make it to her knees, he'd let her have another one. This went on five or six times. I couldn't say a word. I just sat watching, fascinated by the violence, and because my Mom kept coming back that way - as if she wanted to be hit some more.
"Just when it seemed like she couldn't get up one more time, she reached up and unzipped my father's pants and reached in and pulled out his prick. He just stood and watched her, a funny look on his face. It was big and hard, and it didn't hang loose and short, like I'd seen it sometimes when he took a shower. It was big and hard and red and standing straight out.
"I watched in awe, but with a funny feeling between my legs, as my mother took that thing in her mouth and began to suck on it. I couldn't believe what she was doing, running her tongue over it, then sucking the head of it, and all the time the blood was running out of her mouth.
"She kept moaning all the time, like something was hurting her, and then my father bent down, picked her up, and carried her into the bedroom. They didn't even bother to close the door and I could see everything from where I was sitting. I didn't want to move because I didn't want to miss anything. I was a little scared that if my father caught me watching he might hit me like he'd hit my mother.
"Dad dropped Mom on the bed and began to yank her clothes off. She was crying and hollering at him but that didn't bother him at all. He tore every piece off her until she was naked. Then he took his own clothes off and laid down beside her, digging his fingernails into her breasts and in between her legs for a couple of minutes. Then he crawled on top of her. Mom spread her legs real wide and he stuck his prick into her cunt. I remember thinking that if that was the way you made kids, I didn't want any children.
"Dad was like some animal. He would pull his ass way up high, then he'd drive his prick into her cunt as deep and as hard as he could. Each time, Mom would groan aloud, and Dad began to scratch her with his fingernails, and he bit her all over. It was terrible to watch, and I was scared, but I just couldn't take my eyes off them.
"Mom was crying and bleeding and groaning, and Dad was sweating and panting, and everything seemed to get all mixed up. I was crying, too, because I thought he was going to kill her. I don't know how long it kept on - it's like a nightmare I had - but I noticed that everything seemed to be happening faster. Mom was jerking her ass up and down and kicking her feet in the air, and she was holding on to my father like she never wanted to let him go. She was saying something to him, it sounded like, 'Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck,' but I couldn't hear very clearly.
"Then all at once, after a lot of real wild jumping around, they both relaxed and my father kissed her - a gentle kind of kiss not like he was trying to eat her up. When he pulled away from her, I was surprised to see how small his prick had become. He stood up next to the bed, and then he spotted me sitting there, almost in a trance, watching.
"He knew I had seen the whole thing, I guess, because he just gave me a hard, cold look - like he was staring right through me. I got cold shivers up and down my body. I got up and went to my room. I fell asleep crying. I was suite he was going to come in and kill me. But nobody showed up, and I kept on wondering why my Mom liked to be hit like that, and why she kissed my Dad and sucked his prick and let him put it in her cunt.
"The next day was Saturday and neither of them were working, but it seemed that all of us were just tiptoeing around the place. We didn't look at each other if we could help it. Around two o'clock, Mom went out to do some shopping for groceries, and I was left alone with Dad. I was sitting in my room, not doing much of anything when he came in, I was scared and tears began to come into my eyes.
"I want to talk to you, Ginny,' he said in a soft, very gentle voice. I tried to make believe I didn't know what he wanted to talk about, but I did know ... 'It's about last night. I know you must have seen everything your mother and I did.'
"I just nodded, not knowing what to say. Then he asked, 'Did you understand what you saw?' I didn't say anything. I felt sort of numb.
" 'No, I didn't think you would - you're too young. But, you need to be taught a lesson so you won't go sneaking around and watching again.'
"He grabbed me and laid me across his lap and pulled my panties down. He said, 'Say, you have a nice little ass, Ginny,' and he rubbed his hand over it, in little circles. I relaxed for a minute and just when I did, his hand came down on my behind. It hurt, and it startled me, and I screamed. I expected him to hit me some more, but instead, he began to rub the spot where he'd hit me. So I relaxed again, thinking it was all over. But then he hit me again. He did this quite a few times and soon my whole body was feeling warm. I could feel the bony part of his knee pushing up between my legs, and every time he hit me, it forced his knee up against my cunt.
"Pretty soon, I began to get a funny feeling out of it. It was a strange feeling, but a good one. I didn't know what was happening to me, but I knew I felt good - especially between my legs and in the bottom of my stomach. My whole body was tingling, and every time he hit me, it felt better, and I forgot all about the pain.
"I reached out and touched his cock through his pants. It was hard. Giving me a licking must have excited him. I kept my hand on it, and every time he'd hit me I would give it a squeeze, and that made him hit me harder and faster until it got to be real wild.
"Finally, he stopped hitting me and he pulled my panties up and picked me off his lap, holding me in his arms. He was breathing hard and sweating and one of his hands was between my legs. He was wiggling his finger against the lips of my cunt. Thinking back now, I know he wanted to rape me. If I had been a little older, he might have, but I wasn't even close to being eight years old. I guess that must have been what was going on in his mind, but after a bit, he just gave me a long, hard, cold look and said, 'You're gonna grow up to be just like your mother.' It wasn't until a long time later that I realized what he had meant, and by that time, I guess I was like my Mom.
"I guess that was the first time I ever really had any thoughts or feelings about sex, or at least getting the good feeling between my legs. I began to play with myself that same night, sticking my fingers inside my pussy and moving them around, but I didn't get that same good feeling I had when Dad had hit me and then rubbed my ass.
"I didn't know what to do for a while. It was mixing me up, because I couldn't get that good, warm feeling by playing with my cunt, and I wanted to feel it some more. I finally hit on the idea of being bad deliberately, so I could get my Dad to spank me some more. I began to talk back to him. I wouldn't do my chores or clean up my room. It worked after a while. He kept getting angrier with me, and he warned me that if I didn't behave, he'd give me a good spanking.
"In a strange way, I got a sort of a little thrill when he just warned me, and then I'd play with myself and remember how it felt when he did spank me. Finally, he did spank me, but when I began to reach out and stroke his cock, and when I didn't really cry, he caught on and told me I liked it too much, and that I was just like my mother. He told me he wasn't going to spank me any more.
"But I used to sneak around and watch him and Mom when they would have one of their sessions. I learned to masturbate with things that would hurt my cunt a little - not things that would actually cut it, but things like -oh - the handle of a hairbrush that had carved figures on it, and the handle of a wrench of my Dad's that had rough markings on it.
"When I was ten and eleven, I was a holy terror - a real pest with boys. I somehow wanted to torment them and make them so mad that maybe one of them would take my pants down and spank me, or maybe even hit me in the face, like Dad hit Mom. I'd never been hit like that, but I remembered all the times she would drag herself across the floor and suck his prick before they went to bed for one of their sessions.
"But the way I acted only made the boys avoid me, and I just got more and more frustrated. I used to masturbate a lot, but it got less and less fun, and I got sick and tired of just remembering the few times that my Dad spanked me. I played with a boy who lived down the street from me, and I used to try to get him to play house, where he'd be the daddy and I'd be the little girl, and I'd be bad and he'd take my panties down and spank me. But he was only eight and he was too scared. Besides, he didn't hit me hard enough to do any good, and he'd always change the game to something else. I even used to try to get his cock hard by playing with it, but he wouldn't go for that. One day, his mother caught me playing with him that way, and she wouldn't let me play there anymore.
"When I was eleven, my body was really beginning to develop. I looked as if I were about fifteen. I'd even begun to use lipstick, and my Mom let me dress a lot older and sexier than I really was. My breasts were already large enough for me to be wearing a bra. I was still in grammar school, but I never hung around my own school friends. Instead, I used to hang around the places where the high school kids gathered, and most of them just thought I was one of them.
"That's when I met Dick. I was at this hamburger stand, with a lot of other kids, when he walked over and started to talk to me. He asked me my name, and I told him. He said I was a 'good-looking chick' and w o n d e r e d why he hadn't seen me around at the school dances, and at basketball or football games, and so on. I made up all sorts of lies, because I didn't want him to know how old I was. He was eighteen, and a senior, and he had his own car.
"He was good-looking, too, and - for my taste - he was sexy-looking. We talked awhile, and he bought me a coke and a hot dog. Then he suggested we take a ride in his car. I was too interested in him to say no, because I was afraid he'd never ask me again. Besides, I was already hot for him - or for anybody, I guess.
"We got into his car and we drove to the hills. He began to talk about sex and stuff like that. He even asked me in a roundabout way, if I'd ever screwed. I didn't say much because I didn't want him to know that I'd never done anything with a boy - that I'd only dreamt about it. The more he talked about sex, and how nice my breasts were, and what a cute shape I had, the hotter I got. I was a little scared, but the excitement was a lot greater than my fear.
"He went down a narrow dirt road after a while, and stopped the car in a little clearing near a creek that was almost dried up. 'Nobody will bother us here,' he said.
"We sat there for a minute. I didn't really know what I was supposed to do, so I just sat, waiting for him to make a move. After a minute, he slid across the seat and put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me to him and kissed me on the mouth. I didn't even know how to kiss, but when I felt his tongue pry my mouth open, I relaxed and opened my mouth and let him dig it into my mouth. I tried sucking on it, and even shoved my tongue into his mouth and that seemed to be what he wanted. He slid one hand up inside my sweater and unhooked my bra. Then he began to play with the nipple of one of my breasts.
"I began to get that warm, funny feeling between my legs, and the kissing got hotter. My cunt was getting wet and hot, and I wanted him to do a lot more.
"He slid his hand up under my skirt and down inside my panties, running his finger over the lips of it. I had hair under my arms and around my pussy, and when he shoved his finger up inside my cunt and began to massage my clit, I almost flipped with wanting him to go further.
"Take it easy, Ginny, I won't hurt you,' he kept saying. Wasn't that a laugh? If he only knew how much I wanted him to hurt me, he'd have probably driven off without me.
"I felt like I was dreaming on a cloud. I remembered the spankings from my Dad and how good they had felt. I remembered how my Mom moaned in pleasure when my Dad hit her, then fucked and mauled her, biting and scratching her body. I began to moan with pleasure as Dick used his strong fingers to dig into my cunt and into the flesh of my thighs as he spread them wider and wider, so he could go farther inside me with his finger.
"Hit me," I suddenly whispered to him.
"He drew back and looked at me, startled. His finger was still deep inside me. 'What did you say?' he asked.
"Spank me - hard. I need it. I really do. I want it,' I told him. I tried to turn over so that my ass was where he could hit it, but all he did was take his hand away from my crotch, shove me aside and say, 'What are you, some kind of a weirdo?'
"I began to panic. I was so hot, and so close to what I'd wanted for so long. I guess I was half-begging when I said 'No, I'm not a weirdo. Honest. You've got to do this for me ... please, Dick, ... please.'
"He looked at me for a second, then shrugged and said, 'Okay, if that's what you want.' With that, he brought one hand down on my ass with a stinging smack. It sent the chills through me, it felt so good. He did it again, and I moved so that he could really get a good swing at me. 'Do it until I tell you to stop,' I told him. While he was spanking me, I tried to get his cock in my hand. I could feel it, hard and exciting, through his pants. I was going crazy, and finally I managed to unzip his pants and get it out. And then every time he would slap me, I would squeeze it and stroke it.
"We got out of the car and laid on the grass. I took my panties off and he took his pants off. I was fascinated by his stiff, throbbing prick. It was almost as big as my Dad's and I wanted to touch it, even kiss and mouth it, something awful.
"I laid on my stomach and begged Dick to spank me some more, and he did. The warm feeling in my cunt overwhelmed me. Then, as he began to hit me harder and faster, I had my first orgasm. It wasn't much, but it was better than I'd had with my fingers or any of the objects I'd used to masturbate.
"I rolled over on my back, spread my legs wide, like I'd seen my mother do, and said, 'Oh, Dick - do it to me! Please do it to me!'
"He was excited too, and he crawled on top of me. I felt his prick pushing against the lips of my pussy, and I jumped around, so eager to help him get it in. But it just wasn't going in. Finally, he maneuvered me around so that my legs were spread wide, and my knees were way up, and he rammed it into me with one big lunge! It hurt and I screamed. I couldn't help it.
"Dick jumped away, pulling his cock out and looking down at the flecks of blood on his prick. 'God, you're still a virgin!' he said. 'I wouldn't have believed it, the way you've been acting. Good God!'
" 'Please try some more,' I begged. 'I want you to do it to me.'
"He tried again to push his cock into me, this time harder and faster. I felt a tearing pain in my pussy, and I had to scream again. Blood began to seep down my leg as he went deeper and deeper. It felt like he was shoving a telephone pole inside me, but it felt good, even with all the pain. I grabbed Dick and hung on, trying to help him. I was afraid I was going to faint, but I didn't want to. My pussy was beginning to tingle again, and my whole body began to get a good, warm feeling, in spite of all the pain.
"Over and over again, I could only think, 'Dick's cock is so big, he's so big and strong.' I suddenly knew what had happened that night I'd first seen my Mom suck my father's cock after he'd kept hitting her. She had wanted to be beaten, hurt, and humiliated. I knew now why she'd crawled over and sucked his cock, because I was beginning to feel the same way!
"It's hard to tell you so you'd understand, the fantastic feeling that was spreading all over me. It was like being in a different world - a world I'd only dreamed about. I opened my eyes to see Dick's sweating face, lustful eyes, close to me. He was puffing and grunting and his eyes seemed ready to pop out. His body seemed to be moving automatically, as if he wasn't controlling it, and I moaned in pleasure as I felt his prick going deeper and faster, and I knew he was going to come.
"I had only thought I'd had a climax before. When I came this time, I knew that all the rest had been just 'kid stuff.' I felt it coming far off, minutes before I really had my climax. Dick began to stiffen and his stroke quickened and ended up in short, stabbing jerks. Chills ran over me, and I began to shake. I pounded my cunt as hard as I could against his body, trying to take it all inside me. That's how I felt. His prick twitched and jerked, then he shot into me. I tried to climb up on the pink cloud that was settling around me, and I made it. I begged him not to take it out yet, and I just lay there, feeling light as a feather, and sexy all over. I was sure that if anyone looked, they would be able to see my body glowing.
"Then it was over. I looked at Dick, and he kissed his cheek and asked him never to leave me. I guess it must be like that with most girls, when they've had their first real fuck - when they've given their 'cherry.'
"We didn't do any more that day. I was too sore, and Dick was a little scared that he'd hurt me too much when he saw how much I had bled.
"He helped me clean the blood off me and asked when he could see me again. I told him I'd work it out, but that it probably would have to be during the day, because both my parents worked days and they weren't very permissive about me going out at night.
"It wasn't has hard as I had thought it would be. Like I said before, they never really cared about me, so when I told them I was sleeping overnight at a girlfriend's house, they never questioned me. I saw Dick about twice a week, sometimes oftener, and he really learned fast what it took to turn me on. He began to like the idea of giving me spankings. A couple of times, he got carried away, and he really beat me bad. He apologized afterwards, and said he just didn't know what had come over him -he just couldn't stop himself. That bothered me a little, because I had to keep control over Dick, and also, I had to be able to trust him. I didn't want to become as completely helpless with him as my Mom was with my Dad, nor so dependent on the pain. If I had to worry about Dick not being able to stop, I was afraid it would spoil my enjoyment of sex with him.
"He brought a paddle along one time - one of those wooden ones that fraternities use in their doings. We drove to our usual spot and undressed each other - I always used to like to suck Dick's cock a little while I was undressing him - and when I rolled over for Dick to spank me, he used that paddle. It really hurt me, so I told him to stop and to use his hand instead. But he wouldn't stop. He hit me again and again, harder each time. I got scared. My whole backside ached and stung, and I wasn't getting a charge out of it.
"I begged him to stop, but he just held me down and hit me again and again, all over my legs and my back, as well as my ass. Suddenly, my body began to feel warm all over, and I wondered if I was bleeding or maybe even dying - or both. It felt as if somebody were pouring hot water all over me. The pain of the paddling seemed to drift away. It was like I was in another body, standing aside, and watching myself being beaten.
"I heard myself moaning, but it wasn't from pain this time. 'Oh, Dick ... oh, Dick ... ' I moaned in pleasure. 'More ... harder ... more ... ' I never wanted him to stop. I was heading for that beautiful pink cloud again.
"I felt him stop and roll me over and spread my legs. It hurt when I put weight on my back and my ass, but it didn't really matter anymore. I felt his lips on my mouth, and I opened it and sucked his tongue into it. I could feel his soft hands caressing my body as if he adored it, and I was approaching a peak of ecstasy.
"I couldn't wait any longer. I wanted his cock inside me so badly that I wanted to scream in frustration. In desperation, I grabbed for his prick, place it against the lips of my pussy, and pushed forward with my hips. I felt the full force of his penetration and I wanted to die with the pleasure of it. I never wanted to move from that instant and that feeling.
" 'Fuck me, Dick,' I groaned.-'Don't ever stop fucking me! Promise you'll never stop!'
"He thrilled and satisfied me completely. His full weight was on me and his cock was thrusting inside me. I felt that I was nothing, compared to this great god that was fucking me. I was his slave. Then, as I approached my orgasm, I changed completely. From nothing, I became everything. I was not just myself, I was both of us - all the lovers in the world! Our bodies were one - we had one mind, one soul-mine!
"I was a mass of nerve ends, each one exploding with pleasure. When it came, I screamed with joy and squeezed Dick tightly with my legs and my arms and the muscles of my cunt. I tried to keep him going, and he did too, but he was too exhausted, and at last, I reluctantly let him take hi& limp prick out of me. When I went home I must have slept a thousand hours, but I was sleeping in Dick's arms, with his cock inside me, on a big, wonderful, pink cloud.
"I went with Dick for the next year and a half, and it seemed that I had to have that wild, brutal kind of whipping. I know that it doesn't make sense to most people, that so much pain could lead to such great pleasure. I don't understand it myself because I always thought that pain and pleasure were exactly the opposite of one another. But they can blend into one overwhelming sensation of joy.
"Then I split up with Dick, and for the first couple of weeks I almost went crazy, needing him and the sexual pain-pleasure. I was only thirteen, but I could pass for eighteen by then. I was fully developed, nice breasts, curvy hips and long, shapely legs. And, I was pretty - at least most boys thought I was.
"I had a few dates, but when I had to be hurt, all of the boys backed away. They thought I was a kook and they said so. I even offered to pay a couple of them, but they wouldn't do it. Finally, I stumbled across a copy of an underground newspaper and I saw the sex ads. Sure enough, there were several that advertised 'discipline sessions.' I knew what they meant. Dick and I had talked about some of those ads after he'd graduated high school and started in college.
"I answered one and was accepted right away. I couldn't wait for the first meeting and it was more than I expected. That first night, a man used a rough hairbrush on me, and later on, after he'd fucked me good, another man used a riding whip on me, and I climaxed even better with that.
"You know the rest. I kept on with the club. I ran away from home to live with one of the fellows in the group. We'd still be going strong, if we hadn't been dumb enough to let Sylvia in the group. She was only fifteen, and when she went home one night, all marked up from a whipping, her father forced her to tell where she'd been whipped. He was sneaky, too, for he waited, let Sylvia lead him and the police to the meeting place, and the cops arrested everyone involved.
"I was sent to this home for girls. It was hell for the first few weeks, without any sex or pain. I could have gone for some cunt-sucking from other girls, but that idea just sickens me. I'm working with the psychiatrists now. I don't know if I can change, or if I really want to, but I guess I'm not normal. But I think I'd do almost anything to get out of this place and get back to where regular people are."
That is Ginny's story - or at least the beginnings of a bizarre sex life. She is quite typical, in many ways, of the most extreme masochist.
Her account of her early home life clearly revealed that she thought she was a nothing because of the way her parents ignored her. Later, with Dick, she felt as if she were worthless, then when she was able to experience great joy and satisfaction, and give it to Dick, she obeyed the deep desire to be somebody. She believed that she was truly superior.
Ginny's wonder about the ability to blend pain and pleasure is common to most of us. Psychiatrists state that pain and pleasure are far from opposites, but are, in fact, quite similar in that both involve stimulation of the nerve ends.
It is the brain and the emotional makeup that determines which of these stimulations are pleasurable, and which are painful.
Further, it is unlikely that Dick could have aroused Ginny's passions as he did, with paddling, had she not been attuned to such stimulation by her earlier experiences at home. By watching her mother, Ginny had been conditioned to believe that pain was a prerequisite to sexual pleasure; thus, she was almost eager to attain such pleasures, accepting pain as a normal part of the game.
The buttocks are a part of the erogenous zone which is centered in the vagina. Also, the vagina is the seat of sexual pleasure. Thus, any stimulation of the buttocks, such as paddling or spanking, has a definite responsive effect on the vagina. First, there was a sensation of pain, then as the pleasure nerves in the vagina began to respond, there was a co-existing, dual sensation of pleasure and pain. Eventually, pleasure took over and there was no pain.
Not all persons can react this way, which leads psychiatrists to believe that there is a strong emotional tie or connection which enables the brain to transform the pain into pleasure. In a slightly different way, Dick was like this, too. He enjoyed giving the pain, or he would have stopped the relationship much sooner, or not, even have allowed it to develop at all. Also, he was often unable to stop himself, which indicates total involvement with what he was doing. His brain was translating Ginny's pain into his pleasure.
It is not as simple as we try to make it, for purposes of understanding a child like Ginny, but that is the basic principle involved.
This "pleasure from pain" syndrome is, as mentioned at the beginning of this chapter, present in all of us. In Ginny, it was nurtured and encouraged to a point where it got out of control. Ginny is now getting professional care and help with her problem.
CHAPTER FIVE: Pre-Teen Lesbian
Psychiatrists have divergent theories about the factors which tend to produce homosexuality. Masturbation has been named by some as the largest factor among females, but other experts disagree with this theory. Kinsey and others who have researched this subject, tend to believe that the frequency of orgasm is much higher in lesbian relationships than in heterosexual encounters. One reason for this theory is that two individuals of the same sex are likely to understand the anatomy and the physiologic responses and psychology of their own sex better than they understand that of the opposite sex. Such an understanding is often developed through masturbatory practices by which the female is able to acquaint herself with her own sexual desires and requirements.
It is commonly accepted that many lesbians use their knowledge of masturbation as a ploy in seduction of other females.
Christine, the subject of this account, was first seduced through masturbation. The facts of her homosexuality, however, show that a highly complex set of background facts had a hand in making her a confirmed, aggressive lesbian.
Chris was the youngest of five girls, and her father died when she was a year old. Thus, she was raised in an atmosphere of complete femininity, and by a mother who taught her to hate and distrust men. Another important factor in her later lesbianism is that she had absolutely no father image, nor any male affection as a child. This is pointed out merely to establish the fact that it was quite natural and normal for Chris to turn to females for solace and affection.
"I didn't realize until I was about five, I suppose, that nobody seemed to miss my father. My mother was always griping about what a no-good he was, with only one thing on his mind - sex. She said he used to beat her up, and when I asked my older sisters about it, they said it was true. I grew to believe that all men were ogres - the bad guys in life.
"And, my sisters were good to me - especially Jane, the next youngest to me. She was four years older than me, and we shared the same room and even slept in the same bed from the time I was four, so we were very dose.
"I remember that when I'd been punished by my mother, or my oldest sister, and would be in bed, crying, Jane would put her arms around me and hold my body close to her. Sometimes, she would rub my body - I used to get leg-aches a lot - and she'd rub my legs. Often, she would let her hand touch my pussy, and once or twice, she would rub the lips of it with her fingers. She would usually kiss me on the lips when she was doing this, and after a while, I got so that I turned to Jane for all my solace and all of my affection, my mother had to work and I don't remember her ever showing me much affection. The older girls were so much older than me that we were almost like strangers. My world consisted mostly of Jane.
"I remember once, when I was five, Jane came in the room crying and holding her crotch. She said she had been playing 'tag' with some other kids and one of the boys had grabbed her and dug his nails into her pussy. She took off her panties and you could see the red nail marks - she didn't have any hair around her pussy yet.
"I asked her if I could rub it for her. She looked at me sort of funny, then said okay. I remember that she laid down on the bed and spread her legs, and I rubbed her pussy as gently as I could. Then I remembered that sometimes, when I'd have a scratch or bump and would run to Jane, she would kiss it 'to make it better.' I've seen a lot of people do that to kids.
"Without asking Jane, I leaned over and kissed her cunt, right on the lips. She jumped and half sat up, watching me as I kept on kissing the lips and the places where the marks showed. She didn't stop me, but after a while she just laid back and let me rub and kiss her pussy. She put her hand down without disturbing my kissing and ran a finger inside her pussy. She played with the little knob I could see sticking up just inside the lips. After a while, she moved her finger faster, and then all at once she just relaxed and pushed me away.
"We didn't do anything for quite a while after that, but I kept wondering how it felt to put your finger inside and play with your pussy, so I tried it. It felt good, but nothing really happened to me. Then one night, I asked Jane to do it to me. I thought that I was doing it wrong because I wasn't getting much fun out of it - just a warm, good feeling that excited me.
"She played with my knob and it did feel better than when I did it, but it still didn't thrill me at the end like she seemed to be able to do to herself.
"Later, she kissed my pussy like I'd kissed hers, and that felt real good. It excited me when she put her tongue up inside and rubbed it over my knob. We began to do it to each other a lot after that.
"When I was ten, my mother sat me down and told me about men. She said they were nasty creatures, with a big prick that they just wanted to shove up any girl's pussy, and that that made babies. She said they were all filthy rats and she warned me not to ever let any man even touch me between the legs with his hands, and never, never, to let a man put his thing up inside my cunt.
"She told me that a man's prick inside you hurt awful and made you bleed, and that men didn't care because they just liked to torture women that way. I asked her if it was all right if you were married and she said it was. But from what she had told me about men and sex, I didn't think I'd ever want to get married. My mother also warned me not to let any man talk me into taking his cock in my mouth, because then they would shoot hot, foul-tasting juice into my mouth, and it would make my mouth rot.
"About that time, Jane began to go with boys, but she couldn't go out with them on dates - only to parties and things at school. Jane was pretty. Her breasts were nice and round and soft, and I used to wish that my body would blossom out like hers. My mother was awfully strict with Jane, and she had to be home by nine, unless it was a party, then she could stay until eleven.
"One night, Jane stayed out until after midnight, and I woke up to hear her screaming and crying. I went into the living room and found my mother slapping Jane in the face and calling her a 'rotten bitch' and a 'cheap whore.' When she saw me, my mother told me to bring the leather strap from the kitchen and to sit down and learn my lesson along with Jane.
"She made Jane get on the floor on all fours, then she pulled her skirt up around her hips and pulled down her panties so her bare bottom was wide open. Jane had a beautiful bottom, and when she was kneeling like that I could see the lips of her pussy sticking out and the blonde hairs that surrounded it.
"I loved Jane more than anything in the world and I began to tremble with fear for her, I began to blubber when my mother hit her with the strap, and I let all my crying go as she kept on hitting Jane's ass with that strap, leaving red welts where it struck that beautiful flesh. Jane wasn't crying, but she begged my mother to stop. But my mother seemed to get angrier with each swing of the strap.
"Jane began bleeding after a while, and when my mother finally quit, Jane rolled on her belly, spreading her legs so I could see the moist, red lips of her pussy. I just wanted to go over and kiss every mark, but I was too frightened.
"When my mother stopped, she turned on me and told me that I'd get the same thing if I ever let a boy touch me. Jane scrambled up and went into our room, and I found her on the bed, crying. Her bottom was sore and raw and her poor pussy was cut. I got a wet washcloth and patted it on her hurts. I made her roll over and I spread the lips of her pussy and patted the cool water on them.
"I felt a new excitement come over me and I let my fingers caress the flesh just inside her pussy lips. I wanted to kiss and caress every part of her beautiful body, but I was afraid of hurting her. I parted the lips of her pussy wider and looked at it. It was beautiful, I thought. I noticed that her little knob was rosy and erect, and I leaned forward wanting to kiss it. I could smell a strange, earthy odor coming from the folds of her cunt, and it made me even more excited.
But she was exhausted and quickly fell asleep. I fell asleep, too, with my finger up my pussy, remembering the heady, exciting smell of her cunt, the loveliness of her rounded ass, and the allure of that hard, inviting mound just inside her pussy lips.
"She wasn't allowed to go out for months after that. She told me that Mom had caught her in a parked car, fucking a boy. She said it wasn't anything like what my mother had told me it was; that it felt good. She said that when a boy got you 'hot' it made your cunt all slippery and big, and it didn't hurt at all when a boy put his cock inside you.
"She said, 'In fact, I get hot, just talking about it.' I asked her to let me see how a boy's prick went up inside a pussy. So she spread her legs and, using her finger, she showed me how it worked. I got really worked up when I saw her spread her pink, moist pussy lips, and I could see into the darker hole of her cunt as she ran her finger in. I wanted to stick my own finger and my tongue In it.
"Since she had began to go out with boys, we hadn't done any fingering or licking, and I was beginning to wonder if she didn't love me any more. I don't know why, but I just had to show her that I still loved her, even if she had let a boy put his prick inside her, I took her hand away and 'began to play with her clit, using my finger. I moved down and kissed the inside of her thighs, and I could feel her knob begin to throb and jump as I fingered it.
"When Jane couldn't stand it any more, she just grabbed my head and pulled my face into her crotch. I left my finger inside, working it up and in deep, like she had showed me a man's prick penetrated. I got down close, and used my tongue to massage and lick her clit, and with my remaining hand, I played with the nipple of one of her breasts.
"She just gasped and rolled and moaned. Inside a minute or two, I could feel her clit jumping in little spasms and I knew that she was coming. I bit her knob a little and she jumped and groaned and moved her body faster and faster. Then she just collapsed and laid there with a glassy stare in her eyes. But the thing that impressed me was that she kept on saying, over and over, 'Oh, Chrissy, oh, Chrissy - you're so wonderful ... so good.'
"From there on, we had it wonderful. Mom never guessed, and if she wondered why Jane never asked to go out on dates, she never asked. Jane and I went back to our old loving. By now I was able to have pretty good orgasms, even though I was only eleven. My breasts were beginning to bud and a little hair was showing around my pussy. Jane and I had sex almost every night. Sometimes we would just lay in each other's arms and masturbate or rub our pussies together. Other times we would kiss and suck each other. I liked that the best. I could always get turned on real good just by looking and smelling Jane's cunt. Usually, by the time she had come I was ripe and hot, and it only took a few licks of her tongue or a few strokes of her finger to make me have a real good come.
"Jane used to talk about fucking, but I never had any desires to try it. As it happened, I didn't have any choice. I was eleven, almost twelve, and I was allowed to go on a picnic with my older sister, Marie - the oldest one still at home. The others had married, and Marie was engaged to this guy - that's why Mom let me go on the picnic, though she didn't trust Jane that much. Jane had to stay home.
"There were supposed to be two couples beside Marie and Don, but one girl got sick at the last minute. The others urged Chuck to come along anyhow. I didn't like him from the minute I saw him. I had to ride in the back seat with him and he kept looking at my breasts and down at my legs and moving closer and closer to me. He was drinking a lot. So was my sister and her boyfriend. By the time we met the other couple at the lake, all of them were pretty loaded.
"I went into a little shack to change into my bathing suit. I had just stripped when the door opened and Chuck slipped quickly inside. I was scared, but I didn't scream. I just stood there, glaring at him, trying to cover myself with my bathing suit. He leered at me, reached out and took the suit away from me, and squeezed one of my tits. He moved quickly and grabbed for my cunt and I slapped him across the face.
" 'I like 'em young and tight, cutie,' he said, pulling me close to him and trying to kiss me. He kept one hand on my pussy and he was digging his fingers up inside it, touching my clit. I'd never been kissed by a man before, and when he shoved his tongue into my mouth, I felt a warm, hot feeling begin to shoot through my cunt. And the fingering he was doing was getting to me, tool But I still tried to push him off. I didn't really think that he'd try anything with the others so close. But he knew how drunk they were and, as I learned later, they were already in the water, some two hundred feet away. With all their water noises and the giggling and shouting, they wouldn't have heard me if I had screamed - and Chuck knew it.
"Maybe if he'd known I was only eleven, he wouldn't have done it, but then again, he was so hot for my body that he was actually drooling and slavering all over me. He was wearing only swim trunks and he slipped out of them quickly. When he threw me to the floor, I got a look at his stiff, long prick, standing straight out from his body. He had gotten my pussy fairly wet and slippery by rubbing it with his fingers. Even if he had been rough, it had turned me on some. I wonder if he would really hurt me if I screamed.
"Then I remembered what Jane had told me about fucking. I thought to myself, 'Why not?' I didn't go limp, or anything like that, but I did make it a little easier for him to slip his prick into my pussy. It hurt, but at the same time it felt exciting. After he had finally gotten most of it in, I raised my legs and spread them. The more he penetrated me, the hotter he made me. Then he went completely wild. He just rammed and rammed it into me and I knew I had to be bleeding. I had a lot of pain and felt like the flesh inside my cunt was being torn to ribbons. All the excitement and pleasure disappeared in a split second. I became terrified. I remembered that my Mom had said that this was how babies were made, and I didn't want any baby - especially not from this animal who was tearing my insides out.
"I could feel a warm liquid squirting into me and he jerked and bounced in and out of me when he came. He tried to kiss me some more, but I pushed him away. I guess he began to get a little scared when he saw some blood on his prick, and saw a little running out of my pussy, because he began to apologize, begging me not to say anything to Marie, my sister.
"He left me there after he'd put on his swim trunks. I examined myself as best I could, to see how badly he had torn my pussy up. It hurt a lot, but the blood had stopped coming from it, so I put on my bathing suit and went down to the lake. When I got in, the water felt cool and soothing, and after a while, the pain eased up.
"He didn't say a word on the way back, didn't even look at me. And I didn't say anything to Marie.
"But I told Jane. She was mad that the man had raped me, but later on she asked me how it had felt. I told her that at first it was exciting, but then he got real heavy and acted like a beast and it had hurt. Jane was really worried about how badly he might have hurt me, so she washed my cunt out carefully, then decided that all that had happened was that I'd lost my cherry. Then she sucked my clit, being real tender and gentle, until I came.
"I think I decided that night that I would never let a man inside my pussy again. My mother was right. They were just filthy beasts and wanted only one thing: fucking - whether it hurt a woman or not.
"I met another girl at school, who was a lesbian, and we started to go around together. Boy, it was fun fooling my mother. She was always telling me how pleased she was that I had a nice friend like Irma, who wasn't 'boy-crazy' like all my sisters had been.
"The only bad part was that it put the pressure on Jane again, and she was forced to sneak out to meet her boyfriend. Sometimes I could stay at Irma's, and other times she'd stay at my house. Then Marie got married, so I was given my own room. Now Irma and I went wild with sex, first at her house then at mine. We used to include Jane in some of the nights at my house, but Jane was going more and more for boys. I figured I was lucky to have Irma because I didn't want anything to do with men.
"Jane got pregnant when she was not quite seventeen, and Mom made her get married. I hated her husband. He was a pig. I never did want to hurt Jane, so I never told her, but he couldn't come near me when we were alone without grabbing my tits or my ass or trying to feel my pussy.
"I was kind of lonely when Jane went away, but I had Irma, and my body was getting nicer I was thirteen, and I had nice breasts and a good shape, like all my sisters. I used to love to stand before the full-length mirror in the bathroom and look at my naked body. My breasts were high and full, and my ass was nice and round. The lips of my pussy were fat and perky. I had a nice batch of hair around my pussy and the inside seemed to be always moist and slippery. I'd been menstruating for over a year.
"I used to sit on a chair in front of the mirror and put my feet up so that I could see into my cunt. I often sat like that and masturbated that way - sometimes shoved forward so I could see my brown, wrinkled little asshole. I'd use two fingers, shoving them up my cunt and asshole at the same time.
"Boys began to notice me and asked me to go out, but I wouldn't. They made me sick. I had Irma about three times each week, and she was enough. Then I found out that Miss Avery, my math teacher in school, was a lesbian. I was poor in math and she made me stay one night to get some things straight for an exam that was coming up.
"I'd never paid much attention to her, except that she was pretty, in a mannish sort of way. She wore her hair cut short, almost like a boy's, and she always wore what I thought were severe clothes, particularly for a woman so young. She was about twenty-seven, I guess.
"She surprised me by coming over and closing the book I was getting my problems from. She sat on the desk top and said, 'Christine, didn't I see you and Irma yesterday, kissing and caressing in the hallway?' She looked so cold, I thought, 'Oh, oh - we're caught. She'll turn us in to the principal, or tell my Mom.' I didn't answer her. I just looked down at my desk.
"She reached out and lifted my face, and she was smiling. 'You don't have to be ashamed to show affection for a female, Christine,' she said. 'As a matter of fact, I like females - much, much more than males. I like you - very much.'
"Something in her voice - something I felt in her touch - and something I just knew - told me that she was really talking about liking girls sexually, not just as persons. I felt safer, and I wanted to find out if I was right. I looked at her boldly and asked her, 'Why?'
"She stroked my face and said, 'Oh, because you're so pretty. You have such a nice body - lovely breasts - nice legs - everything -''
"She let it hang there and I could feel my pussy getting warm and itchy. I wasn't used to seduction then, but she sure was. She was bending over so her face was coming closer and closer, and when she put her lips on my mouth, I opened it and took her tongue inside. It made her jump a little in surprise, but she kept on kissing me. I reached out and put my hand on her leg, running it underneath her skirt, until I touched the bare flesh of her thighs above her stockings. She spread her legs so I could go higher and I felt my fingers touch the damp hair around her cunt. Then I brushed my fingers along the lips of her pussy.
"We were kissing like mad, and she pulled me up as she stood up, and pulled me close, grabbing the cheeks of my ass in both her hands while she sucked my tongue. She mumbled, 'Oh, dear child, I want you so!' I moved my pussy so that it rubbed against hers. I was hot for her. She had nice, soft, full lips, and she had a way of sucking that engulfed my lips and my tongue, then she'd shove her tongue tight up against mine. It was something different for me. I was having a new feeling. I felt powerful, and sexy and alluring, just like I'd always thought Marie and Jane were, when I'd see them naked, or all made up to go out. I felt powerful because I could make a grown woman want me!
" 'Let's go somewhere,' I said through the kiss. 'I want you, too, Miss Avery.'
"She broke away, smiling, almost trembling with desire and passion. 'My place,' she said. 'Come on, dear child.' She was angering me with that 'child' stuff, but I didn't say anything then. I just determined that when we got undressed and began to go to town, I'd show her if I was a child or not.
"She didn't live far, and we didn't waste any time. She undressed me, kissing my breast and my stomach, then lightly brushing her lips over my pussy. Then she undressed, and I helped her, kissing the back of her neck and under her arms, tickling her with my tongue while I pinched her nipples to make them taut.
"I laid down on the bed and spread my legs and she c r a w l e d down between them. She played with my pussy lips, running her fingers over them gently, turning me on slowly. She said, 'Please don't be impatient, Christine, I just want to look at your beautiful, little-girl cunt. I'll make it so wonderful, in a moment.' She got down closer and just touched the tip of her tongue to my clit. She raised her head and said, 'You smell so fresh and sweet and clean, dear one.' Then she went to work on my breasts. She licked and kissed me under the arms, where the hair was beginning to show, then to my navel and down to my thighs. She rolled me over and worked her tongue into my asshole, driving me almost insane with wanting her to get down to my throbbing, wet pussy.
"She knew every spot on my body where I could be aroused. And she played on all of them with her tongue and fingers. By the time she went down on my cunt for the real tonguing and sucking, I could hardly wait to get my mouth on her pretty box. I made a quick flip-flop, straddling her face and I buried my face between her legs. I was like a little pig, gobbling up all the sweet taste of her box. I came twice before she came once, but I made it up to her later.
"Between Miss Avery and Irma, I was in seventh heaven. Later, Irma began coming over to Miss Avery's - although we called her Myra by then - and we'd have a three-way love ball.
"I have no intention of giving up lesbianism. I don't care what they try to do to me. I love women. I love the way they make love. I hate men and their filthy animal ways. I don't see how they can stop me."
When she discovered the facts about her daughter's behavior, Christine's mother became furious. Doubtless, to this day, she doesn't realize how much she, herself, had influenced Christine into lesbianism.
At this writing, Christine is thirteen years old and is undergoing psychiatric treatment. Hopefully, she may realize that all men are not beasts, as Chuck was, or uncaring wife-beaters, as her father was. She may yet have a full, rich heterosexual experience - hopefully with a gentle and tender man.
CHAPTER SIX: Junior Sex Maniacs
In our society the word "promiscuous" applies almost solely to the female. Even today the double standard exists that a boy who has sex with more than one woman is merely "sowing his wild oats," but the girl who engages in sex with several males is labeled cheap, an easy mark, thus promiscuous.
It is difficult for many adults to believe that certain young children, pre-teeners, could merit the epithet "promiscuous."
However, recent figures show that in sex violations involving children between the ages of ten and fifteen, eighty-two percent of them were instigated by the child. This includes crimes such as molestation, corrupting morals, rape and statutory rape, etc.
Dr. Donald Arbagian, California psychiatrist, maintains that females are most sexually aggressive between the ages of twelve and fifteen, and he backs up his assertion with scores of case histories!
What we fail to realize is that we are all sexual creatures from the moment that we are born, and that, in the right circumstances, a young child can be as sexually active and aggressive as an adult.
The following cases serve as typical of the hundreds which we might cite. It is well to remember that there is a vast difference in participating in sexual relationships and in being promiscuous.
Most children participate in sexual experiences, such as masturbation, childishly exploring their bodies and those of the opposite sex - even to juvenile forms of intercourse. According to statistics of researchers such as Kinsey, almost all children, at one point or another, engage in a homosexual or lesbian relationship, no matter how briefly.
Promiscuity, on the other hand, indicates an individual is actively seeking and inviting continued and varied sexual experiences. He indulges freely in sexual experiences, following his own desires and needs. Almost inherent in the word is the thought that the promiscuous person engages in sex with a number 'of partners.
We do not, in this society, consider a person who sells her favors, as promiscuous. Rather, a person who makes himself available to sex partners to satisfy his or her own desire, fills the bill admirably. In the words of one young pre-teen sexpot: "It's like, well - a cock-hunger! You want love, and that's a kind of love, but you can never get enough of it!"
Studies made recently by Franek and others revealed that there are definite causes for promiscuity. Most of them are to be found in the environment and usually begin in early childhood. It can be safely said that promiscuous girls "are made, not born." There seems to be two types: the girl from the mainstream of life who becomes promiscuous because of events in her life (her promiscuity might be considered a psychological problem), who must participate in sexual relationships just as an alcoholic must have alcohol.
Then, there is the second type, promiscuous because she is born into an environment in which promiscuity is a way of life, or at least, is an accepted pattern of behavior. In the language of the streets, the first type has been taught to "keep her legs crossed," but she doesn't, while the second has been taught to just "leave them uncrossed."
Of course, venereal disease is one of the major problems caused by such promiscuity. Pregnancy is another problem, for too many of these type girls end up crowding the welfare rolls, and you and I have to pay.
Many sociologists predict that the children who are now being born into a "permissive" society, will eventually revolutionize the laws of society, as we now know them, merely because they will have no restraints, and will revert to pure animalistic sexual couplings.
Psychologists are concerned with one more problem --that of the attitudes and philosophies of the individuals involved, for it is those attitudes which will be passed on, to form the mores and eventually, the laws, of future America.
Here is the account of one such promiscuous girl. We will call her Joan.
Joan is a beautiful, belligerent, balky girl of sixteen. She might, under better conditions, be decorating the centerfold of a national magazine. Under yet better circumstances, she could be a budding film star. She has intelligence, verve, sex appeal. She has a body like a young goddess. She is, on the surface, friendly, popular, and considered by most adults to have a "well-rounded personality." But, what most do not know is that Joan is a nymphomaniac. She needs and wants sex as much as the most forlorn alcoholic needs alcohol.
She comes from a wealthy family who adored her - perhaps too much. From the day she was born, Joan had everything imaginable - from a material viewpoint. Her parents recently discovered that Joan was not quite the "All-American girl" they had believed, when they discovered that during the past four years, Joan had boasted of having had in excess of 200 lovers!
When she openly defied them, and threw these startling figures in their face, Joan's parents took her to a psychiatrist.
In her first interview, she told him:
"Sure, I've always gotten anything and everything I ever wanted from my parents. As a little girl, I always had the biggest and best dolls - and a playhouse that was nicer than a lot of the houses that people live in. I had the most expensive and the latest style clothes, an allowance, big parties for any occasion. Holidays, vacations - I've been to Europe six times - and I get a new convertible every year! At sixteen! Oh, don't worry about the driver's license - I've had one since I was thirteen, and my Dad paid over five hundred dollars to give me drivers' lessons when I was thirteen. We've got a speedboat at the summer place, and my Dad's pride and joy is to show me off at the wheel. We've got a cabin cruiser at the Los Angeles Marina. I can take it out and even handle it on the high seas - I know, because I've done it a hundred times.
"But, the one thing, if you want to check the records, that was missing, was my Mom and Dad. Always too busy, or out of town - even out of the country. So somebody else was always there to watch out for me and to teach me. Trouble was, my parents never took the time to check into their teaching qualifications!
"I don't know if I can blame my parents entirely. They were 'happy-go-lucky' people, living the life they had earned. My Dad wasn't born rich, he worked hard as hell to get what he has. I don't really blame them for enjoying it, now that they have it. But, I wish they could have included me more, given more time to me - personally, not materially.
"They always made sure I had everything, went to the best summer camps and schools, and a good 'social upbringing,' as my Mom always refers to it. The trouble was, too many of the people who were watching me grow into a sexy young woman were too social minded. Or, maybe I encouraged them out of loneliness or something.
"I know why I'm at a psychiatrist's office. They think I'm oversexed, or a tramp, or a pervert - or something even more dirty or weird. I don't. But I'm willing to try to change, if that's what is best. But I have to be convinced that it is best to change!
"I think I know when it all started. I'll give it to you honest and straight. I was twelve. I had good breasts, a nice round ass, and of course, a pretty, well-groomed face. I think I could have been taken for seventeen -maybe eighteen. My periods had started, I had a good bush of hair between my legs and under my arms, if I didn't shave it. My boobs were almost as big as they are now. And I knew that I could get any man I wanted, no matter how young or old!
"And - I wanted! Oh, I'd gone through the usual grabass games - our doctor, family friends - especially the old goats that were in business deals with my dad -they're something else! And, of course I had masturbated - plenty. We had a maid that was queer, and she tried to get into my cunt from the time I was nine. But the closest she got was to get a finger up my cunt. She showed me how good it felt, and from there on I took care of myself - with my own fingers and a few other things I tried. I was still a virgin, but that was only because the right guy hadn't tried to break my cherry. I was ready, I had been since I was about ten. I'd even tried to coax a couple of boys to do it to me, but they were 'chicken.'
"I was at a cabin that belonged to some close friends of Dad's. I think Mom and Dad were in Europe, or somewhere, and I was to spend three weeks with these people. I liked them okay, but I always did like the outdoors - swimming, boating, camping out - so I wasn't unhappy. I was a little lonely, but that was normal for me by then.
"The Larkins had a big lodge with five bedrooms. They had their seventeen-year-old son and two of his school buddies with us. It happened that very first day. "Jerry Larkin and I took the boat and went to the far end of the lake. It was a deserted cove with no houses around, only a boat dock. We were going to fish, so we didn't have our swim suits with us. I had tight-fitting shorts and a halter on, and they showed off my shape pretty well. I had seen Jerry and Carl and Dick whistle silently when I'd come down to the dock.
"We got the fishing gear ready, and I noticed the way Jerry kept looking at me. Then I looked at his pants and saw that they were all bulged out in front. He had a big hard-on! For me! I made up my mind right then, that I was going to get some of it. I'd been ready and waiting for a long time.
"I unhooked my halter and took it off, I thought Jerry's eyes would pop out. I stripped off my shorts and practically shoved my already moist pussy in his face. He actually shook when he stood up and took me in his arms and kissed me. I opened my lips and sucked his tongue inside, and I could feel his cock rubbing hard against my pussy. Jerry slid one hand down between us and ran his finger over the lips of my cunt, then shoved it inside and began to massage the clit I felt hot and damp, and I wanted to get to the real thing, so I ran off the dock and laid down on some soft grass near the water. Jerry followed and took off his pants.
"When I saw that big, throbbing prick, I just wanted to feel it inside me. I could hardly wait. I spread my legs wide and held out my arms invitingly. Jerry was still trembling when he crawled on top of me and began to work his cock up inside my cunt. I tried to help by spreading the lips with my fingers, and thrusting my hips upward as he lunged downward. It was awkward at first, but once he'd gotten past my clit, I began to get slippery inside and it began to go in, deeper and deeper.
"It was wonderful. It didn't hurt after the first plunge inside, and after a little while, I could feel Jerry's pelvis hitting against my own, and I knew that I had all of his cock inside me. What a wonderful feeling! I fastened my mouth on his, while he played with one of my breasts, nipping the nipple with his fingernails, working it around in his hand. He began to move in and out, faster and faster, and I tried to help him. He came quickly, and I had a sort of orgasm, but not as good as all the others were after that. I guess I was too new at it, or else I was to busy thinking of how wonderful it was to concentrate on my own come.
"Jerry pulled his cock out and stood up. He got his handkerchief and was going to wipe it off, but I stopped him. I had an overwhelming urge to put it in my mouth, and taste his come, mixed with the juices of my cunt! I drawled over and took it in my hand and plunged it into my mouth. I licked and sucked and nibbled, and inside twenty seconds it was as hard and stiff as when he'd shoved it into me.
"He reached down and took my head in his hands, bending his knees a little, pulling my head down so that his prick went to the hilt in my mouth! He lasted about a minute, that way. I felt his cock began to throb as he moved it faster and deeper into my mouth, and then I feit a flood of warm, salty juice fill my mouth. I was hotter than ever and I swallowed it and kept on sucking. I played with Jerry's balls and asshole, and he stayed hard all the time.
"When I knew he was ready, I stopped sucking his cock and asked him to fuck me again. I laid down again, and this time it was really something - the real thing. He was slower, and a little more gentle, and every stroke of his cock seemed to touch just the right spots inside me. When I came, it was like a skyrocket bursting inside my cunt. I moaned and bit Jerry's lip in ecstasy.
"It's always been like that for me. Every time I come, it's a hot, wonderful thrill.
"I didn't have to ask Jerry to suck and lick my cunt. He just seemed to want to. He tickled the lips with his tongue, then began to dig it in deeper, putting the friction right on my clit. Then he stuck his finger deep inside me, and kept up a rhythmic movement with both tongue and finger until I came.
"Then we went into the water, naked. It was cold, but it felt wonderful. We fished for a little while, then we went back for some lunch.
"That afternoon, Jerry and Dick and I went back to the cove. Carl was helping Mr. Oarkin paint a boat. I knew by the way Dick looked at me that Jerry had told Dick about our sex session that morning. I knew that they wanted to try it with three of us in the act, and by the time we got there, I was all hepped up on the idea myself!
"Jerry didn't waste any time. We got out of the boat and went up on the grass and Jerry began to strip. I took my clothes off and watched as Dick got undressed. I was curious to compare Dick's cock to Jerry's. Dick's was much bigger, and it was getting bigger all the time as he watched Jerry sucking my tongue and running his hands over the crack of my ass, and over the lips of my pussy.
"I asked, 'Who's first?' They got a kick out of that. Jerry said to Dick: 'Didn't I tell you she was the hottest little fuck in the world?'
"Dick had an idea, and he told me to get on my hands and knees, so he could kneel behind me and slip his prick into my cunt from the rear. I knelt, and his cock slipped in easily because I was hot and juicy. He seemed to know a lot more about fucking than Jerry did, and I began to move my hips and ass back and forth until I felt his cock hair rubbing my pussy. I knew he had the whole length of it inside me. It must have been eight inches long, and did it ever feel good. It was bigger around than Jerry's, and it seemed to touch more places inside me than Jerry's had.
"Then Jerry walked around and stood in front of me. He was holding his cock in his hand and playing with it. It got hard and stood straight out. Then he moved close and I opened my mouth and he steered it in! It was a wonderful feeling to be filled with cocks, top and bottom. I remember wondering, at that very second, if a girl could possibly be more thrilled and I remembered that I still had one opening that wasn't being filled. I made up my mind that I wanted to try being fucked, cornholed and mouth-fucked at the same time.
"I didn't get the chance that day, but next day, the four of us went to the cove, and we had a real ball. I didn't suspect that Carl and Dick were swingers - they liked sucking cocks and being cornholed as much as they did fucking a girl. They didn't try to hide it, either. While Jerry and I went at it, they stripped and jerked each other off, then they sucked each other's pricks until they both came, and after that, Carl fucked Dick in the ass.
"I thought for a while that I wasn't going to have a chance to try out my idea, but I remembered how Dick had really got with it with me and Jerry, so I didn't worry.
"I was on my hands and knees, and Jerry was ass-fucking me from behind. He was reaching around and shoving his finger up inside my pussy, massaging my clit, and it felt real good. Then Dick walked over and shoved his cock in my mouth. It was a little soft, so I worked on it until it was good and rigid. I stopped sucking it and told him to slide down under me so I could position my cunt over his prick and have him fuck me from underneath, while Jerry was sticking his prick up my ass. It took a little doing, but we finally got his cock up inside my hot, hungry pussy, while Jerry continued to pump away with his donger up my asshole.
"Then I called Carl over, and because I was a little lower to the ground in that position, to keep Dick and Jerry inside me, Carl had to kneel down so that I could get his cock into my mouth.
"It was exciting, and in strange way - uplifting. It is really something to have three men loving you at once. I felt as if I would never again be lonely. We tried it other ways, involving all of us and just some of us, and they were all thrilling. With three men inside your body, a girl can get a thrill like she's never imagined.
"We had a ball for the rest of the time there. When I went back to school, I was lonelier than ever. I felt empty. I had plenty of friends, but they were like little kids, compared to my summer friends.
"At night, I'd lie in my bed, trying all kinds of masturbations, using a lot of different things, but it was no use. My cunt, my asshole, my mouth - ached to be filled with cocks!
"That's when I began to be aggressive about sex. I went after the older guys. I really tried to entice the ones I knew had a reputation for being swingers. And I made out. At least, one guy at a time. But I hooked up with a couple of real fuck-crazy guys, and we talked about having orgies. Two other girls came into the group and we really had some bashes.
"I didn't think I'd enjoy licking and sucking another girl's cunt, but it's good. A girl knows a lot about the anatomy of any other girl, and when girls go to work on one another, they can really add some new thrills with their tongue and fingers.
"After a time, I guess 'quantity' began to be more important to me than quality. I never did just have sex with one guy at a time. I couldn't. It was too tame. And it got so I had to have somebody new all the time. The same old faces and pricks bored me.
"I'm going to the psychiatrist to please my folks, but I doubt if it will do any good. To tell the truth, I like what I'm doing. Even if I got married someday, I could never be satisfied with one man."
Joan may be wrong in her prognosis, according to her psychiatrist. He says: "Joan is a love-seeker. She has-never had the deep emotional love that all of us want and need, and she equivocates the sex act with love. To Joan, it is a real expression of love.
Her statement about always wanting '.someone new,' is another sign of her love-hunger. She must be constantly reassured by new friends, that she is wanted, desired - loved. From age twelve to sixteen, this girl has needed the reassurance of over two hundred boys and men, all of whom serviced her demands. Yet I am convinced that this girl considered every sex act an act of love! What she meant, without realizing it, was that her love-hunger had too strong a hold on her; the emotionally sterile childhood (the lack of parental love) that had produced her promiscuity had had too great an impact.
However, there is still a possibility that Joan will fall in love. It need not be an earth-shattering type love, but it would .surely call for a mature man, able to give this girl his total love and respect. It will be difficult for her to accept the fact there is that kind of love that can come from just one person, but I have hopes that Joan will find it, for it could be her complete salvation.
Jill comes from almost the exact opposite end of the social and financial spectrum as Joan, but both suffer the same ailment: an insatiable desire for sex.
At fourteen. Jill was referred to a psychiatrist by one of her teachers. The teacher claimed that Jill had been leading the life of a prostitute and needed emotional help. Her first appearance in the psychiatrist's office confirmed the teacher's theory. Jill looked to be at least twenty years of age and her dress was slovenly, that of a down-and-out streetwalker. As the sessions progressed, however, she began taking care of her physical appearance and soon revealed herself to be an attractive, personable young girl. Jill claimed she was not a money-seeking prostitute and illustrated it by describing one incident:
"I was just hanging around," she said, "when this good-looking guy came along. He started to talk to me, real polite. He said a lot of nice things, but some of them didn't sound just right. I figured he was bashful and told him that if he wanted to go someplace, I'd go with him. But I didn't want any money for it. Well, I maybe wouldn't have refused it, but I sure didn't ask him for any. I'd have gone with him just for the fun of it, you know."
After a series of tests and interviews, the authorities were inclined to believe Jill's story. Subsequent and deeper probing verified it, and revealed that Jill was guilty of one thing - a lusty sexual appetite which had psychological foundations.
Jill came from a typical low income family. She had an older brother, and a hard-working father, whose struggle for survival left him too little time to be a father to his two motherless children. Jill's mother had died when she was nine, and her brother eleven.
"After that," Jill related, "nothing was the same. Mom had always been a good mother and housekeeper, but she was sick most of the time I can ever remember. When she died, Daddy seemed to go into a shell, and Louis wasn't home too much. Daddy started drinking more and more, and sometimes he wouldn't come home, or, if he did, he'd be mean. I was always afraid to have any friends over.
"Outside of the hours at school, it was an awful lonely life. When my breasts started to develop and I began to get a shape, my Dad wouldn't let me go out at night at all. He threatened to shoot any boy that he caught 'fooling around me,' as he always put it, so I was lonelier than ever.
"I could feel all the juices beginning to rise inside my body. I tried masturbating, but it wasn't much good. You can't get much love or sex out of your finger or a hairbrush handle.
"My Dad got meaner and meaner. He began to be more strict with Louis, especially after Louis got into a little trouble with a bunch of kids that were stealing hubcaps and things off cars. He made Louis stay home more, and after a time, Louis and I began to be pretty close friends. I guess we needed each other, and what little love and attention we could squeeze out of life.
"Anyhow, one night, Louis sassed my Dad, and Dad had beat him up something awful - with his fists. Then my father went out on a drunk. We knew he wouldn't be home that night.
"I felt so sorry for Lou, he was all bruised and cut, and my Dad had kicked him while Lou was on the floor. He went into his room and took his clothes off, and I got some iodine and bandages and a hot washcloth, and was fixing him up, when it - it just happened.
"Lou had a bad bruise just where his leg joined his body, where Daddy had kicked him. I was rubbing it with the washcloth, when I saw Lou's prick begin to get stiff and stand up. I'd seen his, and Daddy's a few times, but I'd never seen it hard like that. It fascinated me, and right away I thought how much better a real, live, hard, warm cock would feel in my cunt, than a hairbrush handle.
"I began to play with it, skinning it back and forth. Then Lou reached out and began to play with my tits. I was only wearing a thin dress, with no bra, and no panties. He made the nipples stand up hard, and it felt good. I kept on playing with his prick, and he pulled me down on the bed and slid my dress off and began to run his fingers over the lips of my pussy. I could feel it getting wet and jumpy. Then I told him to 'really do it,' and he stuck his fingers up inside and began to rub my knob. I began to get so excited I didn't know what to do for Louis. I jerked his prick harder and harder, and then, all at once, I just wanted to put it in my mouth! He was making me feel so good, I wanted to show him that I loved him.
"I sucked it and used my tongue to massage it, and he began to shove his fingers deeper inside my cunt. We were both going faster and faster. Then I felt a flood of hot come in my mouth, and it shocked me. I let go and jumped up and ran into the bathroom and spit it into the toilet. It didn't really taste bad, but I hadn't been expecting so much of it, nor that it would be so hot.
"When I went back in. I was still hot and bothered and Louis was still laying there, his cock in his hand. It was soft, but he was playing with it and I could see it getting harder. I went over and laid down beside him and took his cock in my hand. While I got it hard, he played with my cunt again, and we began to kiss on the mouth. I was on fire when Louis put his tongue inside my mouth. I sucked it and we began a see-saw motion with our tongues, first his in mine, then mine in his.
"I thought I was going to burst with the heat between my legs, so I said, 'Lou, put it in me.'
"He shook his head at fist. 'You're my sister,' he said. I said, 'So what, if I love you. I just sucked you off, didn't I?'
"I moved up and took one of my breasts in my hand and put the nipple up close to his mouth. 'Suck it, Lou,' I pleaded. He put the nipple in his mouth and began to suck it, and massage it with his tongue. His hand went to my pussy again. He shoved his fingers inside it and began to play with my clit and dig at the soft flesh inside. His cock was real stiff again, and when I knew he was ready, I slid down and rolled onto my back and spread my legs. I held the lips of my cunt open with my fingers. 'Please fuck me, Lou,' I begged.
"He couldn't control himself any longer. He got on his knees between my legs, holding his cock in one hand, and he fitted the head of it into the folds of my wet, hot cunt and began to push it in.
"It was wonderful. I knew I was going to come the second he hit my clit with his beautiful, hard cock! I came right away, but Lou was still pumping away, so I decided to go for more. He let his body down to cover mine, and I spread my legs and wrapped them around his hips. When he began to kiss me, slicking his tongue in my mouth deep, I came again. It took Lou about three minutes, I guess, and in that time, I came four times!
"When Lou came, he just laid there, with his prick inside me, and he kissed me, real gently. I'd never felt so wonderful in my life. My whole body, my mind, were glowing with love. I just felt full of joy.
"I laid awake that night for a long time. I tried to figure out if what we'd done was wrong. I knew what incest meant, and what people said about it, but it couldn't be wrong to be that happy, and to have been able to make Lou, the only one I loved, happy, too.
"We did it almost every night after that - unless my Dad was home. Sometimes, we'd do it after school. I was really happy."
That was Jill's first experience with sex. It had been an experience of love and fulfillment. But it also opened up another need. She had satisfied her brother's need, and he had fulfilled her - temporarily. Jill felt the loss of her mother far more than she realized, and, deprived of her father's love because of his drinking habits and his negative attitude toward life after his wife's death, Jill discovered that close personal relationships gave a depth to life, that casual ones, such as she had at school, did not. More than that, she felt a new popularity and womanly power, and it didn't bother her that to attain this popularity, she had to 'put out' to the boys. Moreover, Jill had to "feed" this need to be wanted and loved, by continuing to be known as an "easy lay."
"I felt good when I was with a boy. I liked having him show me attention," Jill continued. "But kissing and holding hands wasn't enough. I had to go all the way. I was never satisfied until he'd either stuck his cock in me, or I'd mouthed it until he shot into my mouth. I loved playing with his balls and kissing his hard cock. I wasn't hurting anyone, and I didn't see anything wrong with it."
But it was hurting Jill, herself. As she became known as a "quick score" among the eager young males, she became despised by the better elements of her society, and thus felt more and more "left out" and unwanted. It got so bad that her brother, Lou, talked to her about her blatant promiscuousness. He told her it was hurting him, too, and that, sooner or later, their father was bound to hear about it. He pointed out that if he heard of it during one of his drunken sprees, it could be disastrous - for both of them.
Jill appreciated the wisdom of Lou's counsel, but she couldn't give up her sex bouts. What she did to counteract the growing shabbiness of her reputation - and her person - was to begin to frequent the shabbier parts of town, where she wouldn't be recognized.
"I started going down to the slums," Jill continued. "There are usually a lot of single men there - loners - fellows who hitchhike around a lot, land in town for a while, then move on. Some of them are just out of prison, or on the road looking for jobs. They're lonely and afraid - and, well - just like I am. I liked them all. And, I figured nobody would find out. I'd go there, see one I liked, start talking to him, and we'd end up some place having sex. In his hotel room, if he had one, or a parked car or an alley -any place.
"I think it was even better because ... well, you take the boys at school. They enjoy sex with you, but maybe they have had it the night before. Most of the guys down there ... '. they haven't had it for awhile, so they really appreciated it. I guess it sounds crude, but they fucked like they were doing something special, getting somebody really special. They kissed and tongued and ail that like it really was something special. You get their pricks in you, you've got something extra good!' The foregoing cases are but two examples of girls who became promiscuous because of events and circumstances in their early lives, over which they had absolutely no control. Had their needs been filled adequately and properly, by the persons whom they needed, they might not have become what they did. In the final analysis, if such promiscuity is to be considered by our society as a crime, it might be said that these two girls were the victims, rather than the perpetrators.
Today, a growing number of young girls participate in sexual activities before marriage. It is obvious, as countless studies show, that our society is creating an environment in which the young are easily drawn into such activities in an attempt to fill a need that even they do not understand.
While a relatively small number of young women become totally promiscuous, the number who participate in "multiple sex experiences," (sex activities with a number of different partners) is growing larger.
With a great emphasis on materialism, our values are changing; we place far more importance on what we possess or earn, than we do on moral values or behavior.
With the world opening up, including our landing on the moon, methods of creating excitement and interest lessen, so the young experiment with drugs, crime, and most of all, with sexual activities. At the same time, society takes a continually more lenient attitude toward sexual freedom, and the opportunity for promiscuity becomes ever greater, without fear of being ostracized - or in many instances, even criticized. A third example of a "junior sexpot," is June R.
June is not an attractive girl - through no fault of her own. She just does not have the physical attributes that attractiveness demands. While not ugly, June is extremely plain. Her wild black hair refuses to be trained or curled neatly. She is thin to the point of emaciation, and because of this, her large breasts seem almost grotesque.
June became pregnant the first time at age thirteen. She carried the baby a full nine months and it was a healthy child. She had no idea who the father was, but gave the welfare department a choice of more than twenty boys - none of whom was over sixteen, so the issue was not pushed. The child was put up for adoption.
The second time June became pregnant, she was fourteen, and this time, she - nor the child - was lucky. The child was born a mongoloid.
"It was the same old story," June's caseworker stated, "except that this time, we were pretty certain who the father was. He was a seventeen-year-old with the mind of a two-year-old." The second child was placed in an institution and died within a year.
What could be the problem with a fourteen-year-old girl who had had two illegitimate children? Was she a true nymphomaniac? She admitted to having intercourse with over a hundred different boys since she was barely twelve years old, yet, her case history suggests that she was not a nymphomaniac! At least, not in the true sense of the word. Instead, June was the product of a particular home environment.
Her mother told this frank story:
"I'm thirty-two years old and my life hasn't been easy, I can tell you. I was born in Mississippi, on a farm. We were sharecroppers and they called us 'Poor white trash.' When I was twelve, one of Pa's hired hands, a young buck about sixteen, sweetened on me. There wasn't much fun on the farm. I worked as hard as my Pa. So, when he promised to take me away with him when the season was over, I let the fucker screw me the whole season. He was a sweet-talking fucker, but the bastard ran off without me. He left me something, though: June's older brother.
"My Pa told me to git my ass off the place, and what could I do? I knew a young fellow in town. He was eighteen, but he was married. He told me he wanted to divorce his wife and marry me, so I let him rent me a room. That meant he could come and visit me anytime he wanted. He just never could get enough of me. He'd fuck me three or four times a night, four or five nights a week, and if I'd tell him I just couldn't take it no more, he'd make me suck him off. Or he'd make me take his big cock up my asshole. He gave me piles, the sonofabitch! Then I got knocked up again, and he just laughed about marrying me, and said there wasn't nothing I could do about it! And there wasn't.
"After Junie was born, I packed the kids up and I hitchhiked to California. I had to screw the bastards that picked me up - I even sucked a couple of them off.
"I met one guy who gave me a fat line, I had to listen to him -- I didn't have no money, and no choice. So, I let him set me up in a place in Los Angeles. He got a phony marriage license and got us on welfare, but the bastard drank up most of the money. Then he wanted me to whore for him. That was too much. It was bad enough having to suck his big cock all the time, or take it up my ass, without him pimping for other jerks.
"I took off and got my own place. I kept the welfare going, and at least we ate. Then I met this young fella, and he liked the kids. I figured the kids needed a man around and even if he was married to some tramp back East, he said he loved me and wanted to marry me when he got his divorce.
"We lived together for a year - until I got pregnant again, and then he was long gone. I lost that baby when I was six months gone. A damned good thing, I guess."
Her sordid story was just a repeat. A series of men who lived with her, got her pregnant and provided her with five more children, then left her.
June told her caseworker:
"Mostly, there was just the one room - Mom and whatever guy she was living with in the bed, and us kids on mattresses on the floor. We knew from when we were babies, almost, what they were doing in bed. Mom always threatened that no man would ever get his prick into her again, when one would run out on her, but there was always a new one in a day or so. He'd be screwing and mouth-fucking her just like the others did. And we all watched, plenty of times.
"We did a lot of playing with each other, too. We tried a lot of the things we'd watch her and her fuckers do. The boys all wanted their pricks to get as big as the men's that Mom slept with, so we played with them and sucked them, hoping they would grow faster.
"We used to wonder about the noises Mom made when she was being fucked or sucked off. You could tell she really liked it. We could hardly wait until we could feel a prick inside us. We used to try to get the boys' pricks hard, then get them on top of us and try to make them poke their little pricks up into our little cunts, but it didn't work very well.
"As soon as I was big enough, I let the boys at school try it. It felt good, but they didn't know how to really get it in and keep it working in and out, and most of them wouldn't go down on me - not the young ones. But there was a janitor at the school that would. He used to finger-fuck me real good until I'd git a good feeling all over my cunt and ass. Then he'd take my panties off, spread my legs and suck and lick my pussy until I'd get an even better feeling. I used to play with his prick, too, jerking it until it got hard and then I'd suck it hard, like I saw Mom do for the guys at home.
"I even wanted him to put his prick inside my cunt and fuck me the real way, but he was too scared. He said he might hurt me. I didn't think it would because Mom always made those noises like the pricks weren't hurting her, and some them were big and long, and those guys shoved the whole thing into her cunt.
"One of Mom's boy friends used to fool with me, too. This happened when I was about ten. He used to play with my pussy - but Mom didn't know it. I'd play with his prick, too. One time we met in the park and I sucked his prick and he went down between my legs, fingering my asshole while he sucked my cunt.
"Later, he was the one that first got a prick all the way up into me. He shot into my pussy, but it was hurting me too much, and I didn't have a 'come' that first time. I had plenty later from him, though. Sometimes, we'd do it even while my Mom was home. I'd sneak into the bathroom when he was in there, and he'd sprawl out on the toilet and slide down a little, so I could straddle him. He always came real quick that way, and I began to have good 'comes' almost every time. Sometimes I'd just suck him off, and a lot of times he'd give me some money."
Through her caseworker, June was placed in psychiatric therapy. The sessions proved fruitful in recognizing and alienating the undesired sex patterns developed during her childhood. She has been married for over a year now and thus far has remained faithful to her husband. He, in turn, deeply loves June and, aware of her past problem, is dedicated to fulfilling her emotional and sexual needs.
CHAPTER SEVEN: Bisexual Nymphette
The dictionary defines bisexual as, "possessing characters of or sexually oriented toward both sexes; of, relating to, or involving two sexes." In short, a bisexual is a person who participates in sex acts with both males and females.
Psychiatrists tend to believe that there is, in fact, no such person as a bisexual, but rather, that there are persons who are homosexual, but also enjoy having sex relations with a member of the opposite sex.
Almost every person goes through a homosexual phase, usually in a mild form and not always involving sexual acts. In childhood, "Birds of a feather flock together." That is, boys form strong attachments for other boys, to the exclusion of all females, while girls follow this same pattern of emotional attachment with members of their own sex.
In many instances, such homosexual attachments never involve sexual acts. However, the statistics of dozens of scientifically conducted surveys, from the Kinsey works to the Masters-Johnson studies, indicate that of those who had homosexual experiences in the years just prior to their teens, a large percentage continue to enjoy bisexual sex relations into adulthood.
An in depth study by Dr. A. Whitcomb reveals that more and more persons are practicing bisexuality and that as many as fifteen percent of all married males under thirty-five engage in both homosexual and heterosexual activities.
There are many reasons for bisexuality. Our methods of segregating boys and girls provide ample opportunity for the natural homosexual latency to develop. The fact that homosexual sex does exist and can be quite satisfactory, is filed away. Later in life, when heterosexual activities begin to dull, the bisexual turns willingly to homosexuality, while still engaging in heterosexual acts.
Surveys show that among certain teen-agers, particularly those who cannot obtain "The Pill," homosexual sex is substituted frequently, and enjoyed greatly, according to the testimony of the girls themselves. A few claim that they feel they are not cheating on their mates if they engage in sex with members of their own sex. Others find that it is easy to have a good social relationship which covers up the sexual relationships, because people do not gossip about two men doing things together, nor are they suspicious of two close females, even though both may be married. Still another aspect that is conducive to homosexual relationships, can be the financial side. It is easier and cheaper to have a homosexual friend than it is, for instance, to maintain a mistress. Finally, there is the attraction of just plain excitement.
For a variety of reasons, there are many pressures toward participating in bisexual relationships. Society has become more permissive, and in many instances, actually condones bisexuality. Many psychiatrists now state flatly that homosexuality is a natural act, and is more healthy than the environment of the past generations, with all our heterosexual taboos and their resultant guilt feelings.
The head matron of one of the largest schools for delinquent girls says: "Most of our girls are here because of a problem involving sex. It might shock most people, but in all honesty, I must say that I believe many of these problems could be avoided if the girls could find emotional and sexual gratification with other girls! Almost all would then go on to heterosexual experiences and marriage when they are older and more mature."
Most experts conclude that more problems are solved by homosexuality than are created by it. Whether or not we accept this as true, more and more persons are turning to bisexuality. In order to better understand the early effects of homosexual experiences on the later sex patterns of individuals, let us look at some case histories.
Bill V. is now twenty-three, married, with one child. He is an active bisexual, with the scales tipped slightly, according to his own testimony, in favor of homosexuality.
"I come from a normal family. My parents seemed to be as happily married as most couples I observed. They kept sex private - never talked or even joked about it, so I don't know anything about their sex appetites or inhibitions. Mom always answered our questions about sex honestly. We knew, when we were little, that my dad had put the seed inside her pussy with his prick. She showed us medical diagrams of the female body, so we didn't have to fall for that "gutter slop" about how babies were made or born. My dad told us about masturbating. He said it felt good, but it wasn't a good idea to do it too often.
"I remember playing with myself a lot when I was about seven or eight, and taking off little girls' panties and at least trying to fuck - though I doubt if I ever really got it in. My first real sexual experience was when I was ten, and it was with another boy.
"I used to stay at his house, and he at mine. We used to go fishing a lot with our dads, and went to football games together. We were pretty close friends, and we always slept together when we were visiting the other guy's house. This one night, Ed had gotten hold of a couple of 'dirty pictures,' showing two guys in action. One was with both guys sucking each other off at the same time, and the other was with one guy cornholing the other guy.
"We started jerking off, then we jerked each other off. We were turned on pretty good and Ed started to jerk my cock again, and I worked on his. He stopped and looked at me, and he was kind of blushing when he said, 'Shall we try sucking?' He didn't wait for my answer, but went right down on my cock. It was really something when I felt his warm, wet mouth close over the head of my prick, and he began to suck it - easy, at first, then harder and faster.
"That was my first real orgasm involving another person, and to this day it remains one of the most thrilling. Then I went down on Ed and he came real quick. He shot a pretty good load into my mouth and I swallowed it. I was playing with my own cock while I sucked him off, and I had a 'come' in my own hand right after he came.
"We didn't try cornholing for a couple of weeks. It was too god being sucked off and sucking and jacking each other off. It was kind of funny, the first time we tried ass-fucking, because neither one of us gave a thought to the fact that a cock doesn't slide into an asshole as easy as it does a wet, hot mouth. I almost broke my prick in two, trying to get it into Ed's asshole. He was dry and tight and it hurt him a little.
"Then he got the idea to try some butter on my prick. It worked pretty good and I had my first ass-fuck. I came real good and then I sucked Ed's prick until it got good and stiff. Then he rubbed it with butter and shoved it up my asshole. I'd learned a little while fucking his ass, and I moved my hips and ass to make it easier for Ed. He came quickly, holding onto my hips and ramming it in as far as it would go. He liked it so well, he stayed right in and kept pushing until it got hard again and he had "a double-header for his very first cornholing. I didn't mind - in fact, it got me hot again, and when he had finished his second ass-fuck, Ed gave me a real good blow job.
"We blew and fucked each other pretty regular, for a year or so. I got my first piece of ass from a girl when I was twelve. She was a hot little redhead, and all the older guys had fucked her since she was about eleven. She had nice titties, and a cute, round little ass, and she was always teasing me about being 'chicken' because I wouldn't go to her house after school and fuck her.
"Me and Ed had a fight, and I hadn't had any sex for two weeks, so I guess I went to Tina's house out of spite. There was nobody home and she didn't waste any time. She was sort of making fun of me, because the first thing she did was unzip my pants and dig in and grab my cock. I made a grab for her snatch and we stood there for a minute, playing with each other.
"She laughed and said, 'Oh-oh, you're getting a hard-on. Let's go!' She went over to the couch and took off her dress and panties. She didn't have any brassiere on and those titties really fascinated me. I was surprised at the size of them and at the amount of red hair that grew wild around her pussy. I moved over close and she sat down and spread the lips of her cunt wide open with her fingers. Then she grinned up at me and asked: 'Want some?'
"I wanted to be just as smart-alecky as she was, so I replied, 'How about sucking me off, first?' She never batted an eye. She just unzipped my pants and took my prick out arid started to suck on it. She really knew how, too, and I had been so long without any sex that I came real quick. She just swallowed my come and kept right on sucking and playing with my balls until I got another hard-on.
"Then she let go and laid back, her legs spread, so I could see her wet, gleaming pussy. I could see the little knob almost waving at me, and I just jumped on. That's the right word for it, too. I almost threw myself between her legs, my prick in my hand. I remember how surprised I was at how easily it slipped into her wet, warm cunt. Remember, I was used to having to use vaseline or cold cream on my dick when plugging Ed's asshole.
"I went right in and I could feel her inner muscles tighten over my prick. She wrapped her legs around my hips and worked her ass tip and down. I relaxed and we began to suck tongues while we worked out the rhythm.
"I'll be honest - I really got a thrill out of it. I found several feelings that tickled and thrilled me while I fucked her that I'd never got while I fucked Ed in the ass, or even when he sucked me off.
"I still get a kick from the right girl, but when a guy is married, it gets lots harder to get a broad to go out with you. My wife is a dud. She's a stiff board in bed, and she'll only do it one way - with me on top. No sucking, no ass-fucking - just the old-fashioned, dull, straight fuck. She's a lousy lay. She won't unbend or let herself go. I doubt if she's had over three orgasms in her life, and it's her own damned fault. I could care less. I've worked at trying to give her a real sex life, but she doesn't want it. To hell with that jazz. When I can, I get a strange piece of ass from a woman. When I can't, and I'm hot, I have four different guys that are willing and ready at the drop of a hot.
"I've thought about joining a swap club, but most of them want couples. Can you imagine me asking my wife to join a wife swapping club? Hell, she won't even take my cock in her mouth or up her ass. You know something? She won't even let me try fucking her dog-fashion, with her up on her knees!
"So why shouldn't I have my sex kicks with guys, if that's the way it has to be. I'm not a homo, but I enjoy a good ass-fuck and blow job, and I don't mind giving out in return. What will I tell my kid when she begins to ask questions? I don't know, frankly. But I won't let her mother pass on that bullshit from her mother and grandmother that made an iceberg out of her, I'll guarantee you that! My kids are going to learn the right way - by doing what they want and working out their own sex lives. It worked for me, and it can work for anybody."
In the foregoing case of Bill, this might be called "deliberate bisexualtiy." Bill liked sex with females, but, finding himself unsatisfied and unfulfilled by sex with a cold, inhibited wife, he deliberately returned to homosexual relationships. But remember, in his case he was well oriented to homosexual sex. When he became frustrated in his marital sex activities, he did not have to flounder about and experiment, as many married men do, with members of both sexes.
It is difficult for even the experts to state with authority whether it is best that a marriage be maintained on such a flimsy basis, rather than a divorce freeing both parties to find more suitable sex partners. Nor is it easy to simply say that Bill is an out-and-out homosexual, merely using marriage as a false front of respectability. He does seem to love his daughter and, in a sense, he must love his wife, for he works steadily and provides a good living for them.
There is little reason to doubt that Bill was telling the truth when he said he has tried to "loosen" his wife's inhibitions. Perhaps professional help would be the answer for her, but she is unwilling, for she does not look upon herself as being anything but a "normal, decent woman." In such cases, it is almost impossible to persuade a person that he or she needs help.
Fortunately or unfortunately, depending on one's point of view, Bill does not have to "settle" for unsatisfactory sex with his wife. He knows that he can obtain satisfaction from his male sex partners. Bill maintains that he is not a true homosexual, but his wife would probably find little consolation in the fact that he is "cheating" on her with other males.
Much has been written about the increase in juvenile delinquency - particularly in acts involving sex. A shocking number of youngsters from eight to eighteen are incarcerated in state institutions. Many of them learn about homosexuality when they might not otherwise have done so. And when they return to society, they carry the practice with them, either because they enjoyed sexual gratification from it, or because they feel they can profit financially from homosexual acts.
The case of Martha G. is an interesting one. It demonstrates that, although Martha was promiscuous from a very tender age, her activities were all heterosexual. Put away for her sex activities, she was subjected to the lesbian surroundings of a girl's institution, and eventually emerged into society as a confused individual who, for want of a better term, was a "frustrated bisexual."
At fifteen, Martha is a pretty girl. She has coalblack hair, a creamy skin, bright blue eyes, and a figure to qualify her for a modeling career. Only her eyes betray her. They are harsh, cynical, all-knowing - yet, deep in their blue depths, one can see fear, confusion, doubts. At fifteen, this girl has enjoyed all the sexual experiences of an adult of fifty - including motherhood - though she knows most everything about sex, she knows little or nothing about love.
She likes sex. She gives her body to both males and females for the sheer pleasure of sexual relations. She asks for nothing in return except sexual excitement, and occasionally, gratification.
Martha has been aware of sex since she was not quite nine years old. It was at that point, that her brother, Joel, aged thirteen, introduced her to his body and the fun that they could have together. Since their parents both worked, and Joel "took care of her during the day," he had plenty of time to teach Martha about sex.
"We would be sitting on the couch, watching television," Martha began. "Joel often had his pants unzipped, and his cock would be sticking out in plain sight. He had a habit of playing with himself when we were alone. I had grown so used to it that half the time I didn't pay any attention.
"This one day, as he was fondling and rubbing his cock, he asked me if I would like to touch his thing and move it around for him. I was dumb. I didn't know any different. So I put my hand on his cock, and he laid back with his eyes closed, enjoying it while I played with his prick. It got all hard and swollen and he began breathing hard. I got a sort of good feeling, knowing that I was giving him pleasure. I loved Joel, you know, and it was good to please him.
"He sat up all of a sudden and told me to take my panties off, that we would play a game. I did as he told me. And then he had me lay down on the couch. He spread my legs and pressed his hand to my pussy. I squirmed all over with the new delight I felt. I liked it, right from the beginning.
"Joel rubbed his fingers over the lips of my pussy, teasing me and making me feel good. He told me not to be scared, that he wouldn't hurt me.
"He got down between my legs. I was watching him all the time as his mouth moved closer and closer to my pussy. I nearly jumped with joy when he put his mouth full on my cunt. I didn't have any hair on it yet, and I could see real plain when he stuck his tongue up inside me and began to lick that little knob that I liked to play with.
"Joel was like a hungry person. He practically chewed and licked my pussy off that first time. He tried to suck all of it into his mouth, and I loved every second of it. All the time, Joel was playing with his own hard cock. I got warm all over the bottom part of me, and I wanted more - I didn't know what, then - but I knew that there was more pleasure waiting for me, somehow.
"Finally, Joel shot some juice into his hand. He stopped sucking my cunt and jumped up and ran to the bathroom, and I heard the water running in the sink. When he came out, I was still there, my legs spread wide, waiting for him to finish with me. But he didn't. He told me to put my panties back on, and to not ever say anything to my mother and dad about our 'game.'
"Joel and I used to play games almost every day after that. He taught me a lot. He taught me how to suck his cock and nibble on it with my teeth, until he shot into my mouth. He used to nibbled on my clit, too, while he was sticking a finger up inside my cunt, and I began to 'come' almost every time. We used to talk about him fucking me, but he was afraid he'd hurt me, or that I'd have a baby. He wasn't too smart about things like that, so we were both scared to go ahead and really fuck. As it turned out, it wasn't Joel that broke my cherry - was a friend of his from school. Joel brought Alfred home with him sometimes, and for the first couple of times he came over, Joel and I didn't do anything. But I sneaked up and watched them through Joel's bedroom window, and I saw them jerking each other off and then they would suck each other's cocks until they came.
"The next time they went into Joel's room, I just walked right in after them and told them that I wanted to play, too.
"Joel wasn't too sure he wanted to share our games, but Alfie coaxed him, and so I got into bed and took off my panties. Joel showed Alfie how he sucked my pussy and then I sucked Joel's cock. Alfie got so excited watching us, that he took out his cock and began to jerk it. I finished Joel and then went over and sucked Alfie off. While I was sucking him, Joel began to suck me and finger-fuck me at the same time. Alfie came right away, but I kept on playing with his prick to keep it hard.
"It was different with Alfie, somehow. I got more of a kick out of doing things with him. I pushed Joel away and told Alfie to get between my legs and stick his prick into me. He looked at Joel, but my brother didn't say anything, so Alfie crawled on top of me and began to fit his prick into my pussy.
"I was pretty wet and juicy from all the sucking and finger-play, and Alfie's little prick went in pretty easy. It didn't hurt much, and I was so excited that I wouldn't have noticed it anyhow. Joel and I had talked about fucking so much, it was like a big adventure for me. Joel sat there watching us, and playing with his prick like crazy. I didn't have a real come when Alfie began to jerk real fast, in and out, but I felt the hot spurt of his come shoot inside me. He climbed off, and I still wasn't satisfied. I asked Joel if he wanted to try, and Alfie spoke up and urged him to do it, saying that I was a 'good little piece of ass.'
"Joel was already hard, so he just climbed on me and began to push his cock in. I was extra slippery from Alfie's come inside me, so it was easy. I reached up and pulled Joel to me and we began to kiss, sucking tongues. I began to feel all hot and tingly down between my legs, and as Joel lunged faster and harder, I tried to keep up. It was thrilling when he kept rubbing his prick against my clit, and this time. I came just as Joel shot into me. I moaned and rolled my body and I wanted to keep him inside me so I could come again, but he was sort of scared that my mother and dad would come home and catch us, so we didn't do anymore that time. But for the next year or so, until Joel began to date girls, we had some real good times - Joel and some of his boy friends.
"I caught him screwing his girl in our garage one day, and I knew then why he wasn't fooling around much with me anymore. He was getting all he wanted from his girl.
"I didn't mind because I knew that I could get boys to do it to me any time I wanted. They were all making grabs at my titties, since they had grown round and nice, and some of them were already asking me to screw. Besides, I had another source of sex by then.
"Jane was my closest friend at school and sometimes she would stay all night at my house. We started off by just playing with each other - masturbating each other - then we finally went down on each other. I didn't like it as much as with boys, but it was better than nothing.
"When I was twelve - almost thirteen - I had my first man. The rest had been young boys, none of them over sixteen. But Mr. Braisey, my math teacher, used to make eyes at me, and he'd brush against me and try to feel my tits. After awhile, I began to wonder how it would be to have a real big cock inside me. He was cute, too, and I liked the sexy way he looked at me and touched me. So I asked him one day if he'd help me after school with some problems I didn't understand. He jumped at the chance and that afternoon, when I went to his room, I guess we both knew what we wanted to happen. He locked the door and I just walked up to him and he took me in his arms and began to kiss me. I rubbed my pussy hard against his prick, moving my ass around, and I could feel it getting hard right off the bat.
"He reached up under my dress and stuck his fingers inside my pussy, massaging my clit with his thumb while he shoved one finger up into my asshole - sort of like a 'bowling ball' grip. I was hot as hell, and he just picked me up and carried me into the cloakroom and laid me on the floor. I took off my panties while he got out of his, and I was really excited when I saw the size of his cock. It was as long and round as a salami - bigger than my dad's; I had watched him going at my mother plenty of times.
"Mr. Braisey started to say something about it hurting me, but I told him I'd been fucking for almost two years and that it would be all right. I spread my legs and put my fingers down and opened the lips of my cunt, and he lowered himself down over my pussy, his prick in his hand, and fitted the head of it inside me. It felt wonderful, but when he began to shove it deep inside me, I thought I'd bust wide open. It seemed to be filling my whole insides!
"But I got used to the size of it real quick, and when I began to move my hips, and wrapped my legs around his back, it was like heaven for me. I moaned- and groaned and he was panting and slobbering. When we came together, it was like a couple of dogs going at it. He made me sing all over, and when he'd finished, I kept on wiggling my hips and ass, and sucking his tongue, murmuring how good it was, and for him to fuck me again. And pretty quick, he began to set up that good rhythm, plunging his cock deep inside me with every lunge, and then we exploded together again!
"We did it a lot after that, and I liked it so well with a grown man that I didn't even bother with the boys anymore. I tried it on two of my other teachers, and it worked the same. They were wild for a young, tight pussy, and when they found that I'd suck them off, too, I had it all my own way. I made a mistake, though, when I began to take money for it. Word had gotten around school that I was an easy lay, and then they began to say that I was a whore. I was taking money from two guys, old men who couldn't get any young stuff any other way. Then the first thing I knew, I was pregnant! I needed money for an abortion, and I got nasty with Mr. Braisey and a couple of the others, and one of them must have told the police that I was blackmailing them. They all denied having sex with me, and since I couldn't prove it, it was me that got the dirty end of the stick.
"They put me in a juvenile home for unwed mothers, and I had the baby and gave it away for adoption - I never even saw it. The first week I was back home, my father caught me fucking a boy and asked the courts to take over. They put me in this joint, and if they think that this gets a girl away from sex - they've got rocks in their heads! There's more sex going on here than in any whorehouse.
"I was the youngest one in the place when I came here, and you should have seen the lesbians flock around me. I was young, tender stuff to them, even though I'd already had a baby. And after two years of females sucking your cunt and masturbating you, you almost forget guys altogether. I mean, nobody but another female can hit the spots with her fingers, tongue, teeth and her pussy. I was lucky - two of the older girls up there actually fell in love with me, and that's when you get really taken care of-when a 'les' loves you.
"I'm due to get out of here soon. They're going to try me in a foster home - a preacher, I think they said. But I'll tell you this: if they think that I've been cured of being sexy, they're nuts. I learned now that nobody has to go without sex, no matter where you are.
"I don't think I've become a les, but I sure do like lesbian sex. I've done a lot of thinking about being 'caught' again - getting pregnant - and maybe for the first few weeks I'm out, I'll stick with lesbian sex. That's a good cover-up, too, because most stuffed shirts don't figure that two girls are having sex, even though they room or sleep together.
"Maybe, when I'm old enough to be my own boss, I'll become a prostitute. I know I could, because I was. Or, I might marry some jerk and settle down, because I know I can get all the sex on the side that I want. I don't know much, and I'm no ball of fire at working, so maybe that's the best answer. I know I won't go back home. Who needs that? There are thousands of sexy guys out there, and almost as many sexy women, and I've got what they want - a young, sexy body, and a willingness to give out. So, what have I got to be afraid of?"
Martha seems to typify many of today's youths who have indulged in bisexual activities. In a study of young persons (eighty-four boys and fifty-six girls) who admitted to bisexual behavior, Dr. Alien Kimbell learned that seventy-five percent had entered into homosexuality by their own choice, and of this number, almost all seriously doubted that they would ever again become strictly heterosexual. Another survey showed that almost half the girls questioned said they would not give up lesbianism after they married no matter how satisfactory sex relations with their husbands might be. A few said that they might "cut down," and only two percent stated positively that they would give up lesbianism after marriage.
The conclusion of the experts is that the number of persons who engage in bisexual relations is growing, and the conclusions are that women are participating in bisexual acts at a rapidly increasing rate.
Many a young wife finds it easier, safer and wiser, to engage in lesbian activities as a change from routine marital sex, than it is to have affairs with other men. Another attractive aspect of homosexual relationships while married is that most parties have "transient" affairs. They meet, go to bed, have sexual contact, then part, with no cloying entanglements. This seems particularly suited to couples who have children, and who do not wish to sever the marriage ties, because of the kids. Thus, they can "have their cake and eat it, too," by keeping up an outwardly normal marriage appearance while indulging in secret homosexual activities.
Finally, the experts agree, there is the "forbidden fruit" aspect, for the bisexual individual is always playing with the possibility that he might be caught. This usually lends a very unique kind of excitement to his sexual activities- with both partners.
CHAPTER EIGHT: Sub-Teen Prostitutes
During one short generation this country has seen unprecedented social, political and technological changes. This phenomenon is reflected in such terms as: population explosion, information explosion, mass communication, and sexual revolution.
Yet, a study of man, from his early beginnings, shows clearly that the one institution which never seems to change, nor can it be stamped out or legislated out of existence, is prostitution.
The astonishing fact about today's prostitutes is that they are becoming younger and younger. Where once the battered, used-up woman in her late twenties or thirties made up the great preponderance of the prostitute population, today it is almost impossible to find a successful whore or call girl who is over twenty-six, and it is fairly easy to find many whores who are not yet sixteen!
Since we are concerned in this book with the pre-teen sexual activities, let us look at some of these "junior whores."
It is an accepted fact that the pathological social environment, such as that of children raised in the slums or in disorganized, broken families that deprive a child of minimal cultural stimulation, produces many of our prostitutes and our criminals. But this is almost from necessity. In many cases these unfortunate kids have no honest, legitimate channels open to them. But what of the girls and boys who come from middleclass or even well-to-do families who turn to prostitution? We must, of necessity, relate such cases to the "generation gap." Somewhere along the line there has been a serious breach in communications between parent and child.
Sometimes this gap is so wide that the child is never taught moral obligations, nor observance of the laws of society or of the state. One such case is that of Samantha G.
Sam, as most everyone calls her, is a Negro girl who will be thirteen her next birthday. Several weeks ago Sam was apprehended for soliciting. Authorities were astounded to find that Sam's father is a very successful doctor, and that her mother is the director and administrator of a large trust fund which offers scholarships to needy Negroes who have chosen to enter the field of medicine. Both parents are college graduates, solid pillars of their community, and active in many civic and charitable affairs.
Yet Samantha, at age twelve, was a common streetwalker. It is fruitless to seek the reasons among her home environment. As her dazed parents put it: "We don't understand. She's had everything - a fine home, good schooling, clothes, love-"
Possibly the one thing that Sam never had was understanding.
Listen to her vitriolic, bitter account of what her parents termed, "a good, decent life."
"They're just 'out of it' as far as what's happening today. They're what my black friends call "Uncle Tom" niggers. They'll suck any white man's ass to climb higher or to make more money. They don't care about the rest of the blacks getting ahead.
"I didn't get with it, either - until I started to go with Willie. He's only in high school, but he's real active in a lot of black organizations that are fighting for a fair shake for the black man. Don't ask me how I got the feel for all these things at my age. Maybe I was born with them. Anyhow, there are a lot of things that are more important than pleasing your family or friends, or just being a nice girl.'
"I had my first piece when I was eleven, and believe me, it wasn't my choice. Three white boys got me one night. They were animals. One shoved his prick into my cunt while the other held me, and the third one shoved his prick into my mouth. They took turns and before it was over I had fucked and sucked all three pricks. Oh, don't think I didn't try to kick them in the balls, or that I didn't think of biting a big hunk out of their pricks, but they weren't fooling. They would have killed me.
"I knew I'd have to get my revenge later, and I have, believe me. Remember, I'm the daughter of a doctor. My father gave me a good education on sex and on venereal disease. I knew inside a week that I had something wrong with my pussy. I knew enough to tell that it had to be gonorrhea because of the burning and itching when I urinated.
"Then I went after them - the bastards, I had a nice shape - a little thin, maybe - but I had nice breasts. There were a lot of passes made at me in school - especially from the whiteys. So, I began to take them on, one at a time and in a bunch.
"The more my pussy itched and burned, the more I wanted to spread it around among whitey. It began to be real painful for me, but I kept on moving around. I began to branch out and take on the older guys. I was too ashamed to have my daddy know, so I began to go into other neighborhoods. I found that I could actually get money for it - as much as twenty dollars - and I really went wild.
"I began to hang around a strip club downtown. When the show was over a lot of horny guys would come out. I didn't care if they were a little loaded, and - it wasn't altogether just getting even with them, either. By then, I'd really begun to enjoy nicking. I had a black boy friend, but I always made him use a safety He couldn't understand it, but I insisted. But with the white guys, I used to get an extra bang out of knowing that I was giving V.D. to those white bastards.
"It got so bad, after about six months, that I had to go to a doctor. He was a Negro and a good friend of my dad. I thought I could trust him. But I was wrong. He called my daddy, and then he called the health department! Can you dig that? So, I just ran away. I had plenty of money, and I knew how I could easily earn more. I looked at least seventeen or so, and I got a room in a cheap rooming house in the slum section. I fit all right, because there were mostly Negroes there.
"I went out whoring. I was only at it four days when I got caught. After I get out, I guess I'll go home. My daddy wants me to. But I don't know what I'll do. I don't feel like a little girl anymore. And I don't know if I can take the treatment my parents will give me. Oh, they'll be kind, but they'll be so goddamned sugary and helpful that it will make me throw up.
"And I've become pretty used to having steady sex and being pretty much on my own. I just don't know ... "
After consulting with psychiatrists, Samantha's father sent her to live with his brother in a large southern metropolis. His brother is a social worker with four children of his own. Samantha's parents hope that this wholesome atmosphere and the understanding supervision of her uncle will straighten her out.
Her motivation for prostitution is, admittedly, most unusual. However, one wonders what path she might have taken had her rapers been black. Psychiatrists who examined her very briefly were unable to determine much about her attitude toward promiscuity or normal boy-girl relationships.
Vengeance may be her undoing. It surely cannot lead to her salvation.
One of the behind-the-scenes battles in the sexual revolution is that of pre-teen-agers to resolve their relationships with their elders. They not only challenge with the question: "Who am I?" but they constantly ask: "Who are you to tell me what to do or how to act?"
A new phenomena has arisen: the rebellious child who turns to sexual promiscuity and even prostitution merely as a means of defying the Puritanical rules which their parents have inherited. Studies of case histories of today's youth make it abundantly clear that establishing their own identity - breaking the "apron strings" - involves a great deal of sexual activity. In earlier, less complicated times, the lives of prepubescent children were severely controlled. With today's working parents this is almost impossible. And the persons to whom parents look for help in controlling their children - the teachers, the church, the neighbors - all these are too wrapped up in their own upside-down world of revolt and strife to give the proper attention.
So we find a new kind of sexual morality prevailing. Some experts foresee a generation upcoming which will have no real concept of morality where sex is concerned, and they optimistically state that this will be good, for there will be few, if any, "guilt hang-ups." It is too soon to tell. The role of morality, identity and revolt reveal their influence in the case of Jessica R., who may be quite typical of thousands of youngsters who have not yet entered adolescence.
Until she was eleven Jessica's life was almost totally dominated by her mother. She lost her father when she was only two, and her mother, realizing Jessica's extra needs, sought to supply them by being a constant companion and "pal" to her child. They shopped, cooked, sewed and baked, and did the feminine things of life together. Jessie's mother was a good parent, but was very strict. And most of Jessie's early life was lived in her own home under the watchful eye of her mother. Her father left a sizable amount of insurance, and for several years Jessie's mother did not have to work. However, there were few luxuries, though the home was wholesome and adequate.
Recalling those times, Jessica told her psychiatrist: "I was lucky. My mother was a lady and a good woman." Later, her psychiatrist said that her mother was far too perfect for Jessie to have identified with her. She was too much of "a saint" and many youngsters today do not wish to identify with this image. They shy away from the implied sexual and moral restrictions that such an image places upon an individual.
At age eleven Jessica's search for an identity took the form of rebellion against her mother. For the first time, discord came between them.
"I don't know what happened," Jessie reported. "Suddenly I didn't agree with mother about anything - even when I knew she was right. It was funny; the same things I agreed with the day before, I no longer could see her way. I was like a new and different person.
"We began to argue about boys. I was almost twelve and I wanted to date - at least go to parties with boys. I had blossomed out overnight from a shy, introverted person, to a bubbling extrovert, especially when boys were near. (This change is not uncommon, psychiatrists claim, at this stage of development).
Jessie's mother was not overly strict, but she was very cautious about Jessica's early dates. She realized that her daughter was a sexual "know-nothing," and she didn't want her to encounter any sexual experiences that she couldn't handle. But when the arguments became disruptive, her mother agreed to let Jessie date - under certain regulations: a ten o'clock curfew, no drive-in theaters or restaurants, and almost always, a double-date.
Jessica told her psychiatrist: "I was tickled pink because I knew I could break any of these rules without her ever getting wise."
A sixteen-year-old neighbor boy had been asking for a date with her, and Jessie finally agreed. Her mother thought the boy was too old for her, but she consoled herself that Jessie was mature-minded, a "home girl." 'and besides, the boy was a close neighbor with a good reputation. Their first date was at a neighborhood theater, and Jessie decided that she'd bend or break the rules early.
Her psychiatrist says: "Jessica was testing herself. On the one hand she was dependent and knew it, and on the other hand she was involved in the maturing process and was testing whether she really could be independent of her mother."
On her first date Jessie acted as seductively as she envisioned the most sexy young woman in the world would act. She deliberately teased Ted with the closeness of her body, fingering the palm of his hand with the secret signal for intercourse she had learned from schoolmates, and brushing against his tormented penis with her hand and body. They left the show early and walked to a secluded park. Once there, they traded kisses for several breathtaking moments. But that was as far as Ted would go. They arrived home at eleven-thirty and Jessie's mother was furious. She forbade the sobbing girl any further dates until she was at least fifteen!
Jessie began to meet Ted secretly, and in a short time their meetings had evolved into hot sex sessions that included oral-genital sex, anal intercourse and regular intercourse.
(Jessica's constant reference to her mother "being right" led her psychiatrist to believe that the girl was suffering guilt feelings and was subconsciously seeking a re-identification with the mother.) Four months after she had turned thirteen. Jessie tearfully -told her mother that she thought she was pregnant!
(Said her psychiatrist: "Hostility shows clearly here. What more effective expression of hostility is there than for a child to confess to her parent that she is pregnant with all the resultant heartaches and problems that attend such a pregnancy?")
Jessica's mother remained calm, and with the aid of a pastor of a nearby church, arranged for Jessie to be confined in an out-of-state home for unwed mothers. Here, Jessica first underwent psychiatric consultation. These sessions were also designed to help Jessica adjust to motherhood.
She had just turned fourteen when she gave birth to a healthy boy, who was immediately placed for adoption. She soon returned home, cautious, embarrassed - a woman in a little girl's body, in a sense.
She began to date neighborhood boys, but she was cautious on dates, allowing only innocuous kisses. Then she met Ray, who was eighteen, handsome and forceful, and Jessie gave in to his sexual advances on their very first date. She went out with Ray many times, and each time they had intercourse. Eventually she again found herself pregnant. When Ray's parents refused to allow him to marry her, she again went to the home for unwed mothers and prepared to have her second illegitimate child - at age fourteen!
Her mother died during the seventh month of her pregnancy. Jessie gave birth to a premature child who lived only a few hours. She returned home to an empty house and a bleak life. The house was sold and Jessica went to live with her mother's younger sister. From here on, her life was one of gross sexual promiscuity. According to her own testimony she made love "to anybody who wanted me or could show me a good time - do things to make me laugh and be happy for a few hours." She had no control in following the dictates of her own passions.
At fifteen she quit school and went to work as a car-hop at a busy drive-in restaurant. She met a middle-aged customer who tipped her heavily and constantly asked her out on dates. Jessica finally gave in when the man told her: "I'll pay, and pay good."
Jessica found that there was just as much pleasure for her in haying sex for pay as there was for just the fun of it. The man was a good lover, according to her, and he paid her twenty-five dollars every time they slept together. Without quite realizing what was happening, Jessica had become a prostitute. When her companion pointed it out to her, she realized that a young body like hers could command much higher prices from much older men. Her companion was prepared to put her in touch with several such males, and inside three months Jessica had taken a plush apartment (paid for by her mentor) and was entertaining at least six customers a week. Her earnings eventually reached over three hundred dollars a week!
Jessica cleverly covered up her sexual activities by retaining her job as a carhop. Also, in this position she was able to make addition connections - men referred to her by her male customers.
Jessica grew so proficient at prostitution that, at age sixteen, she took in two more working whores - both of them under eighteen. She had learned the wisdom of dealing only with older men and had an unwritten rule that no customer under fifty was to be considered or encouraged. This type of clientele provided many advantages - they had money, like young bodies, and were discreet.
Jessica's problem was basically one of identity, according to her doctors. Early, she could identify with a good mother, but during her maturing years she could not accept this identity with her mother. She sought her own identity, one that would be her own, remote from her mother. She sought it by a most dramatic reversal turning from the good-girl pattern to the bad-girl pattern that was to dominate her life.
Many deep-seeded emotional problems were evident in her psychotherapy, too clinical and technical to be discussed here. Needless to say, had she had the home environment that can be provided by only two parents, she might have turned out much different.
Denise learned about prostitution at an early age. Born in the slum section of a large city, prostitution, like poverty and crime, was a way of life for the older children in her neighborhood.
She was illegitimate, the third of a four daughter family raised by the mother with the aid of welfare. She grew up hating her poverty so badly that she determined at an early age to do anything to escape from it. She rebelled against it and against her mother, who was the symbol of poverty and failure to Denise.
Sex was not only a hobby in her neighborhood - it was a commodity - even in her own home. Her mother never denied herself the pleasure of sex. Denise observed at an early age that many men visited their home and that most of them stayed overnight. She also knew that the family had a little extra money right after a man had slept with her mother. Denise's mother was not a whore, but she did solicit or accept money and gifts for her sexual favors.
The small, cramped quarters of the slum dwelling made privacy almost impossible, so Denise saw many displays of sex. She also remembers that many of the men played "grab-ass" with her and her sisters. She didn't understand about sex and she described one incident for her therapist:
"I think I was seven, and me and my sisters were in bed and I heard my mother laughing in the living room. She seemed so happy that I smiled to myself. Then I had a big yearning for a glass of water. I got out of bed and started to go to the kitchen. I had to go through the living room, and when I got to the door I saw my mother with this man - and they were both naked. My mother was on her back on the couch and the man was on top of her-but not the regular way. He was in the opposite direction. And while he was sticking his tongue into my mother's hairy pussy, she was taking his pecker in her mouth and sucking it hard.
"She had one leg hooked around his neck. It was the craziest thing I'd ever seen. I just had to stay and watch. My mother's head and mouth were bobbing like crazy. She was kind of biting and sucking him, and I remember wondering how she could get all of his big prick in her mouth that way.
"I was eleven when I had my first fuck. A man that ran a garage nearby had a boy working for him, about fifteen, and he offered me a dollar. I went to the garage and he took my panties off and played with my cunt a little. Then he put me in the back seat of a car. He spread my legs wide open and just rammed his cock up into me. When he rammed it into me, I began to scream. It was like a hot, wide poker that was splitting me wide open, and all I could do was scream in pain. He finally shot, but it went all over the outside of my cunt, and I was screaming so loud that he shoved the dollar into my hand and hurried me out of the garage. I left my panties behind. Right after that, I began to menstruate.
"It confused me. I tied it in somehow with that boy shoving his big, ugly prick into me. I made up my mind that I didn't want any part of fucking from then on.
"There was an old man who lived on the same floor as we did. He was always nice to me, giving me candy, or a nickle, or talking sweet to me. One day he asked me if I'd like some ice cream. To me that was really a treat, so I went in and we had a dish of ice cream. While he was eating his, he was rubbing his hand over my pussy, but he was gentle, so I didn't mind. Next thing I knew, he had my hand in his, and was rubbing it over his pecker. He'd taken it out of his pants, and it felt kind of good. It wasn't big, and it wasn't very hard.
"All at once he asked me how I'd like to make five bucks!
"I'd hardly ever seen five dollars, so I said I would.
He took my hand off his prick and waved it around, so I could get a good look at it. He said, 'You've got to take it in your mouth and suck it good.' I remembered seeing my mother do that, and it didn't seem so bad, so I said I would. But I made him show me the five dollars first.
"I wasn't afraid of him. He'd always been nice. Actually, I guess I was just curious. Besides, he began to run his fingers over the lips of my cunt and I began to get pretty hot. He wiggled his fingers inside me and dug his nails into my little knob and he began to get me worked up.
"His penis got hard and I reached out and touched it, feeling it bob and throb when I closed my hand around it. I wondered if I could get it into my mouth. I asked him: 'What should I do?' And he was gasping when he said, 'Suck it, kiddie, just suck it good.'
"He grabbed my hair and pushed my head down near it. I just opened my mouth and let it slip in. It tasted salty, but it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I remember clicking my teeth every time I pulled my mouth off it. He would lunge and moan, so I guessed he liked it. I began to suck it hard, and move it in and out, faster and faster. Then it began to go clear down into my throat, touching my tonsils I think, because it gagged me a little. But I didn't choke and in a few more plunges he gave a real loud groan and all that stuff shot into my mouth and throat.
"Then I gagged. It was running out of my mouth and down my throat - all over the front of me and over his prick and pants.
"But - he gave me the five dollars and that made it all right. I went back to his place a lot of times after that, and we did it again and again, but he never gave me five again - usually, only two dollars. But by that time he had begun to play with my pussy and suck it, so it was all right.
"Once I found out I could make money that way, I took on a lot of guys. I was twelve when I had my first real fuck and I got three dollars for that one. It hurt a little, but the second time, with that same guy, was real good.
"I figured I'd stumbled onto a gold mine, and I didn't refuse anybody - if they had some money to give me. I guess I had some 'comes,' but it wasn't until I met Joey, when I was fourteen, that I ever did it just for the fun of it. He was seventeen and when we'd done it for a lot of weeks Joey began to bring me a lot of customers - young guys, this time - not those old guys.
"I got caught the first time when I was fourteen. I've been picked up a dozen times in the last two years, but most of the time it's been dismissed. Most decent guys won't fink on a girl, I've found."
This is Denise's story. However, whether men who had shared her body will testify or not, her activities became so blatant that she was committed to a home for wayward girls. While there, she met and began therapy sessions with a psychologist. She has since been released, but still attends weekly therapeutic sessions.
CHAPTER NINE: The "Electra" Sexpots
According to Sigmund Freud, there are two complexes which-have a great deal to do with our sex appetites, patterns and actions. They are the Oedipus Complex, in which all sons are magnetically drawn to sexual desires for their mothers, and the Electra complex, which draws daughters sexually to their fathers.
Of course, these theories were borrowed by Freud from the ancient Greeks. We are not interested in proving or disproving Freud's or the ancient Greek's theories. There is more than enough evidence to prove that one factor of human sexual behavior tends to make sensible men believe that there is a strong attachment in sons for mothers and in daughters for fathers.
It is well to note that the first heterosexual contact of most girls occur in connection with fathers and older brothers. As Dr. Donald Arbagian points out, each of us, from birth, is a sexual creature. As we grow, our sexual appetites grow more keen, following either a homosexual or a heterosexual line. But most psychiatrists agree our first sexual stirrings are almost always heterosexual and centered on the parent of the opposite gender.
Not to disprove or prove any theories, but merely to report, we offer the following case histories which involve aggressive efforts on the part of youngsters to seduce and to have sexual intercourse with their parents. We might well have titled this chapter, "Incest in Reverse."
Incest is more prevalent than most persons think, yet by its very nature it is the most covered sexual activity in which humans indulge. But, even more hidden than the fact of incest itself, is the fact that a large proportion of incestuous acts are instigated and encouraged by the youths involved.
Candy is a beautiful, shapely girl. Her account is basically true. However, she has omitted several provocative gestures and scenes for which she alone was responsible.
"I guess I was always sort of 'sexy' because I remember playing with myself when I was eight or nine. Not just once in awhile, but every night.
"The nights that I'd really go to town on my pussy was after I'd watch my mother and dad. I used to sneak down and watch them when I heard them go to bed. I guess my dad was a real 'horse' because he went after my mother almost every night. I used to stand out in the hall, watching him put his mouth on my mother's cunt, on her breasts, and sometimes he would shove his tongue up her asshole. I'd just cream all over myself. I couldn't stop watching, and I couldn't stop masturbating while I watched.
"I wanted to have that feeling that my mother had. I knew it was good because she would moan and roll her body and call my father such names as 'Lover boy,' and 'Marvelous fuckmaster,' when he would either suck her pussy or stick his big cock into her.
"I guess I was always hoping that Dad would pay some attention to me. Not just to me - to my body. I knew I didn't have any titties, or any hair under my arms or around my pussy, but I used to look at myself in the mirror - I'd spread the lips of my cunt, and it always looked inviting to me. I wondered why he never wanted to do the things with me that he did with my mother. In a way I guess I was jealous of her. Later on, I almost hated her.
"When I finally did get my Dad to do those things to me, when I was eleven, I felt powerful - I had taken him away from my mother, and I always did think that she was the prettiest, most desirable woman in the whole world!
"I had my first chance when my mother went to be with her younger sister while she had a baby. There was nobody in the house except me and Daddy. I sensed, somehow, that I had to make my move, or I might not have another chance. It worked out fine.
"The first night my mother was away, there was a big storm - thunder and lightning. I had always been afraid of storms, and my Dad knew it. So, when the lighting started to dance and blind me, and the thunder rolled and sounded like it was breaking into the house, I went into my Daddy's bedroom. I had often done that when my mother was home, and they had always let me crawl into bed with them. I knew that my Dad would let me crawl in with him.
"My breasts had already started to bud. They weren't big, but you could tell they were there. My ass had begun to round out, too, and I had just the first faint traces of hair around my cunt.
"I ran for my Dad's room and crawled in without asking. He turned towards me, as I knew he would, and put his arms around me. He was naked, he always slept naked. I cuddled close to him, trying to rub my little breasts and the mound of my pussy close to him. I could feel his prick beginning to get hard, right away. I almost wanted to laugh, I was so proud of the fact that I could get his cock up.
"Then, all at once, I got scared - real scared. I knew how small my pussy was, compared to my mother's big snatch. I wondered how bad it would hurt if he put his prick inside me. But even greater than my fears, was my wonder and need to know what he would feel like. I think that I mostly wanted him to get down between my legs and stick his tongue in me, because my mother always liked that so well - especially just before he would stick his cock up into her snatch.
"He began to run his hand up and down my back, while he kissed my hair and my forehead. He kept saying, over and over, "It's all right, baby - Daddy's here. It's all right.' And it was. I almost wanted to go to sleep in his arms, it felt so soothing to have him rub me and kiss me that way. But I was too conscious of his hardening prick as it rubbed against my soft belly. I just forgot everything - the storm, where I was, who I was with. I reached down and took his prick in my hand and began to caress it.
"I inched up so that our mouths were close. When I did that, his hand slipped down around the cheek of my ass. He began to make little circles that covered my ass cheek and his fingers went into the crack of my ass. When I felt his finger touching my asshole and his arm gently pulling me closer, I opened my mouth, stuck my tongue out, and closed my mouth over his! I plunged my tongue in - I'd watched him and my mother do it so many times that I knew how it aroused him - and it did arouse him.
"I could feel his stiff cock ramming against my thighs and my pussy, and his finger kept going deeper and deeper into the crack of my ass, until it finally entered my asshole. The kisses were getting hotter and wetter and he was sucking my tongue now. I was playing with his prick, jerking it harder and harder. Finally, I pushed away from his embrace and went down so I could suck his cock. Like I said, I had watched my mother do this so many times that I knew exactly what to do - as if I'd studied it.
"I put my mouth over the head of his cock, using my tongue to tickle him. I moved down the shaft, licking and kissing, right down to his balls. I took his balls into my mouth and sucked. I could hear him gasp and moan in pleasure, and I sucked and kissed harder. He reached down a hand and felt my lips. Then, he took his staff in his hand and guided the tip of it into my open mouth, I bit a little, sucked a lot, and really plunged my wide-open mouth down over his cock, taking it as far into my throat as I could without choking.
"He put his hand around the back of my head, tangling my hair in his fingers, helping me to set the right rhythm as he plunged his prick in and out of my mouth.
"I reached down and put a finger inside my cunt and rubbed the knob that stuck out of the lips. It felt wonderful. I could taste the salty flavor of his cock as he pumped away, shoving his cock down my throat hard. I liked the feeling. I felt I was really grown up to be able to make him respond this way. But I wanted something to happen to me. I was all afire between my legs, and even my nipples were hurting with wanting to be kissed or nibbled on, like I'd seen him do to my mother.
"Then I got a shock! He came in my mouth! It tasted hot and salty, and I didn't know what to do with it all. It began to seep down my throat and bubble out of the corners of my mouth, but Daddy kept on pumping away, so I just swallowed as fast as I could, and got rid of it that way.
"All at once, he grabbed me under the arms and hauled me up to where our mouths met. He stuck his tongue in, running it all around, sucking and licking as if he wanted to clean out all of his come in my mouth. One hand was around my fanny, and the other was cupping my pussy. One of his fingers was jabbing into my cunt, touching the knob and making it tingle.
"I couldn't take anymore. I had to ask him. I begged: "Daddy, suck me - fuck me, please.'
"I knew what incest was, but I didn't care. I just wanted to feel his tongue and his cock inside my body - inside me, as if I were grown up, like my mother.
"He let go of me and moved down. He rolled me onto my back and spread my legs. I reached out and turned the light on so I would watch him. I knew he liked the light on because he had always turned it on while he was sucking my Mom's pussy. I got a real thrill looking down between my legs and seeing his mouth covering the lips of my cunt. I could feel his tongue digging into my clit, and then he nibbled it with his teeth, and it sent extra shivers up my body.
"I think I had my first real come while he was sucking my cunt - at least, the first one that another person had given me. I used to come pretty good when I masturbated, but this was better than that.
"But I wanted more. I wanted his cock inside my pussy. I felt cheated when I came while he was sucking me off. I knew that he would do anything I wanted, so I asked him to fuck me. He moved up and took my face in his hands. He kissed me on the mouth, but it was gentle - the way he always kissed me. He almost groaned when he said, "Oh, baby - it isn't right - but I want to fuck you. I have to fuck you - now!'
"I moved so I could spread my legs wide. My cunt was just throbbing. It was wet and hot and gasping to have his wonderful prick in it.
"Daddy got down on his knees, his big prick in his hands, the head close to the opened lips of my pussy. I propped myself up on my elbows so I could watch it going into my slit. He moved in close, watching the lips of my cunt as he started to put the purplish head of his prick between the folds of my cunt-lips. When he touched my clit with the head of it I almost leaped forward, wanting it inside me, all the way. He began to move it in and out, going a little deeper each time. He kept asking: 'Am I hurting you, honey?' I shook my head and reached out and grabbed his neck. I pulled him forward and he laid heavily on my body, shoving his prick deeper inside me. I didn't moan or cry. It hurt, but it was a sweet, happy hurt. I wanted him to touch my stomach or my tonsils with it, and I adjusted to it with my pussy, real good.
"He seemed to forget all about me and went after his own orgasm. But that was good for me. He began to suck my tongue, and with his other hand, he massaged my asshole, running one finger up into my hole. It was like an electric booster, and as I arched my body up, his cock rubbed my clit perfectly. We kept that motion up while we increased the action. Then, just as I felt the first hot squirt of his come, lightning exploded inside my cunt. It was like somebody lit a firecracker inside me, and the explosion just spread all over my body. I sucked Daddy's tongue squeezed the muscles inside my pussy even tighter, trying to feel his prick way up inside me.
"Daddy broke the kiss, working his way down my body with his mouth. He sucked each nipple, then nipped each of them with his teeth. He moved down and bit my belly, stuck his tongue into my navel, then moved on down between my legs. He sucked my clit, bit it, stuck his finger up inside my pussy - deep,- and inside a minute I had another come - and each seemed to be more exciting than the last.
"We ended the evening with another good, straight fuck. I slept with Daddy that night, wrapped in his arms. In the morning he woke with the alarm, and it woke me, too. I could feel his soft cock against my naked belly. I began to play with it, then I went down on him and sucked him hard. We had another straight fuck before he went to work and I went to school. I was walking on air all day long, just thinking of all the good things that had happened to me the night before.
"When I got home that afternoon, I had to masturbate. I had a good come, just closing my eyes and making believe that Daddy's big, beautiful cock was plunging in and out of my pussy, instead of my finger.
"That night we tried everything I'd seen him and my mother do. We fucked, sucked each other to a come, then we got upside down and sucked each other off at the same time. It lasted until my Mom came back. I was really hooked. I asked Daddy what we could do. I told him I had to have him. He said we'd work something out, and we did - in a way. He used to sneak into my room late at night, after he'd had a workout with Mom, but it was never the same.
"Then, Mom caught us. I was fifteen and I'd never had any other man but my father! Before she could kick me out, I beat it. But I needed sex. I took a job as a waitress in a dingy restaurant. I had plenty of passes and I took most of them on. I needed sex. I preferred older men. Maybe that was the old 'Electra' hangup - I don't know. I had plenty of young guys, but they were too quick -on, come, off. I wanted the long-play record - lots of kissing and sucking and touching, and I found that the old guys are the ones that want that, too.'
"I began to whore when I was fifteen. At least, I let this one guy set me up in an apartment. All he wanted was to visit twice a week.
"I got pretty bored, sitting around with nothing to do, so I began to hang around a couple of bars, picking up a few guys here and there. Sure, they paid me. Why not? I was young, hot and willing. I used to average twenty bucks a throw, and inside six months I cut loose from the old bastard and went strictly solo.
"I hired a pimp, but he beat the hell out of me one night and I just took off. I ended up in a silly set-up in an 'Oil town,' where the going rate was two bucks! So I rolled a guy one night for a hundred.
"The rest is on the record. Here I am - I could kick my Dad's balls off! If he'd been any kind of a man, he'd have slapped my ass good that first night and turned me off. Maybe I'd have graduated from high school this year, the way I should have. Who knows. I guess I was always cock-crazy, but did it have to be my own father that busted my cherry and got me hooked on sex?"
In the few interviews that the psychiatrist had with Candy, little was learned or gained. Candy is bitter. She refuses to acknowledge that it was she who was the aggressor. She does not seem to show any interest in rehabilitation. She sees herself as a "burnt-out whore," at age seventeen!
Psychiatrists believe that there might be one lone chance for Candy: if she were to find an older man who really loved her, who could overlook her past and marry her. She might respond to such a love, for she is undoubtedly a victim of a deep, true Electra complex.
CONCLUSION
In the foregoing chapters, we have tried to take an honest, unprejudiced look at today's youngsters. We have chosen the tender years - the formative years - when future patterns of conduct and behavior are established. If we seem to have taken the pessimistic side, then we would suggest that the reader peruse the pages of his daily newspaper.
We have dealt only with sexual delinquents. The headlines are filled with crimes of violence, intentional felony, and sheer willful negligence.
Psychiatrists are in almost universal accord that sex is the most potent factor in any human being's development. It is as strong as self-survival, for it is in effect, a form of survival. It is through sex that we produce our following generations.
Scientists in the field of human behavior are quick to point out that as youngsters we are all prone to imitation. And we tend to pattern ourselves after the closest of all human ties - the mother and the father.
But can we, With our wife-swapping clubs, our big bosom fetish, and our tolerance of exhibitionistic nudity, consider ourselves models of behavior? Whatever the answer, we are still in the driver's seat; we still set the guidelines.
In fact, it would seem that confusion and frustration is more rife among the adults than it is among the young. Youth knows what they want. And they are willing to defy established age-old institutions to secure it.
So we ask ourselves: who must take the long look at the future development of human behavior - youth or adults? Hopefully, in time the wisdom of both may be blended and a compatible solution will be attained.
BIBLIOGRAPHY
Barr, Jess, Nobody's Children, Brandon House, North Hollywood, California.
Benjamin, Jack, Savvy, Barclay House, North Hollywood, California.
