The subject of this casebook is one which has long been considered a taboo area of activity. It concerns sexuality among teenagers, a pastime usually reserved only for adults-or so they think. The reader may find these cases shocking, but they certainly will be informative.
The first case concerns a fourteen-year-old girl named Ethel, who was accused of lying when she confessed about being raped by her father, brother, and uncle. Then we have fifteen-year-old Linda who got her first dose of sex after she ran away from home and settled in New York's East Village. Jill, fourteen, was initiated into sex in a very harsh and degrading fashion by her stepfather, after her mother had deserted them. Mabel has a typical problem for a fifteen-year-old; she has discovered her sexuality but has no real outlet for it other than with some football player in the backseat of his car. And finally we have Lynn B., the youngest of my teenage patients. At the age of thirteen she was actually carrying on an affair of great intensity with her youthful uncle from Australia.
The reader must bear one thing in mind. These subjects are not freaks or abnormal. They are young women just like our own daughters or sisters. Sexuality exists on all levels.
CASE HISTORY ONE
Subject: Ethel G. Age: Fourteen
INTERVIEW ONE
Ethel G. was a lovely fourteen-year-old girl who was herded into my office by her mother, a middle-aged woman who was obviously in a state of angry agitation. Ethel looked quite mature for her age, with large breasts and long brown hair.
Her mother began by telling me that Ethel had been making up vile stories. Mrs. G. was obviously a very domineering woman but without the good sense to actually know how to guide her daughter. Nevertheless, she obviously wielded an iron fist in the family and struck terror into the heart of Ethel.
"What kind of stories, Mrs. G.?" I asked the mother.
"Sick stories. About sex. She told me that she did dirty things," the mother explained with obvious disgust and loathing in her voice.
"And what makes you doubt them?" I asked, having accustomed myself to all manner of unusual happenings.
"What? How would you feel if your daughter told you that men put their-their things between her legs," the mother replied hotly.
"What men?" I persisted.
"My husband! And my son, her older brother! And my father's brother, her wonderful uncle!" Mrs. G. spat, looking crossly at her daughter who sat trembling and obviously quite frightened by her mother's disapproval.
"I'm afraid that if you want me to help your daughter, you'll have to wait outside, Mrs. G.," I told the girl's mother.
"What do you mean, Doctor? I have a right to know what she says."
"That's not the case. I can only help one patient at a time. Whatever is troubling Ethel, she'll have to reveal to me, and me alone."
Mrs. G. started to leave with her daughter, but then changed her mind. She quickly apologized and left my office, leaving me alone with the girl.
I tried my best to calm Ethel down and explained to her how we would conduct our session. She proved to be a highly vociferous and intelligent youngster and took hold of the microphone firmly in her hand. The following, then, is the first transcript of our initial session.
I haven't been making up stories, Doctor. My mother thinks I'm a liar, like the boy who cried wolf, only it isn't so. What I told her really happened, only she's afraid to believe me. But it's so.
I was forced to have sex with my father, my brother and then my uncle. It all started just a few weeks ago and when I told Mom, she slapped me across the face and washed my mouth out with soap.
But, I'm not so little, Doctor. I'm in ninth grade, a freshman in high school. I've been having my period for two years now and I know what boys have that girls don't. I read a lot of books my mother doesn't even know about.
I don't know why it happened, or even how. But I'll try to tell you exactly the story, one step at a time. My father drinks a lot, always has. He comes home several nights a week drunk as a skunk and it's very difficult to talk to him, much less get along with him when he's had too many.
My brother, Billy, still lives at home, even though he graduated high school already and works as a mechanic in a garage. He's twenty-one or twenty-two. I'm not too sure. And then there's my uncle, Tony, my father's brother. He shares the room with my brother since his parents-my grandparents-died when I was still a little kid.
Anyway, one night almost a month ago, my father came home roaring drunk. Unfortunately for me, my mother wasn't home. She likes to get out once in a while, not that I blame her, and so she was at the movies with a friend of hers, one of the neighbors.
I was alone, upstairs in my room, trying to do my homework. But when I heard my father tripping on everything when he came home, I put down my books and decided to go to bed early. Then there was this knocking on my door and he burst inside, looking very wild-eyed and drunk out of his head.
"Ethel, my baby girl, my little honey-pot," he said to me, weaving from side to side as he leaned on the doorway.
"What is it, Dad?" I asked.
"What is it?" he replied. "It is what it is and what it is, is you, baby girl. Come and give your papa a great big kiss, honey-pot," he said, drooling from the corner of his mouth.
I was disgusted, but I know my father well enough to do whatever he says. He can get pretty mean when he's drunk. I didn't want to antagonize him, so I got off my bed and went over to the doorway, leaned up and kissed him on the cheek.
Well, Doctor, the next thing I knew he's pawing me, rubbing his dirty hands across my breasts and trying to stick his tongue in my mouth. I didn't know what to do. I tried to get out of his clutches, but he held me tight. He's a big man, a construction worker, and he has muscles like iron.
"Oh, sweetie, my baby girl. You have such a nice, sweet, hot body. I'm hot for your pussy, honey. I want to put my thing in you, give it a nice warm bath," he told me, slobbering all over my face.
Then, he lifted me up in his arms and slammed the door behind him, carrying me to the bed. He threw me down on the covers and when I tried to get away, he just lay on top of me, his drunken breath right in my face, laughing and rubbing his body up and down against mine.
I was petrified, hysterical. I knew my mother wouldn't be home for hours and as for my brother and my uncle, there was no telling when they'd get back. So, I decided to let him do whatever he wanted. I didn't want him to physically harm me and I read somewhere that the best thing to do is just go limp. That way, it wouldn't hurt so much.
So, that's what I did, Doctor. I just lay there with my eyes shut, shaking, not saying a word.
"Don't be frightened, baby," my father told me, rapidly unbuttoning my blouse and pulling it off me. He took off my bra as well and ran his hands over my breasts. "Such sweet big tits for such a little girl," he said with delight.
Then, I felt his tongue tickling my nipples, one at a time. He was quite good at it and I must admit I liked the feeling. I hadn't let any boys touch me and that's why I had so few dates, but then, with my father, I was starting to enjoy myself.
He worked on my tits for some time, fumbling with his own clothes. My eyes were still closed as he pulled my skirt and panties off and threw them on the floor. Then, I felt his fingers rubbing against my vagina. He ground his palm into my mound, pulling the lips of my cunt apart with his rough dirty hands.
"So sweet and pink," he told me. "Such a nice, tight little pussy." And then he poked a finger inside as I screamed out with the sudden pain. He pushed harder as I struggled against his touch. Finally, with just two fingers of one hand, he broke through my hymen and pushed his fingers all the way in.
I opened my eyes, my face white with he pain and fright. He was licking the blood off my sex, cleaning it with his tongue. The tissues were raw and irritated, but his tongue began to soothe them as I felt an unusual burning sensation down at my groin. I wondered if I was getting sexually aroused. I couldn't tell, not then at least.
"Now, it'll be easier, honey," he told me, kissing the lips of my cunt and fingering my clitoris, which he nibbled on with his teeth. That sensation set my nerves on fire. I arched my hips as if to press my entire mound into his mouth. He gobbled greedily, making loud slurping noises with his lips and tongue.
I closed my eyes and tried to pretend he was a movie star or something. But that didn't work. It was still my father, drunk, down between my legs, licking and tonguing my sex. He thrust a finger in, moving in and out with great rapidity as the most delightful sensations went thought my body and I wanted him to keep doing this to me forever.
The next thing I know is that he's moved around on the bed. It was the first second that really scared me. You see, my father, when my eyes were closed, had taken his clothes off and he was totally naked. I felt this thing pushing against my mouth and so I opened my eyes and saw his cock rubbing against my lips!
Take it in your mouth, Ethel," he urged. "Suck it nice and hard for your daddy."
I didn't want to, Doctor. I thought it was really a dirty, filthy thing to do, but he kept pushing his sweaty hips down over my face and finally I opened my mouth and the whole length of his long thing just went right inside. I thought I was going to gag, but he moved it in and out as I let my tongue roam across the surface of his organ.
It was the first time I had ever seen a male sex organ in real life. The pictures I had seen in biology books didn't look anything like my father's penis. His was much longer and thicker and was very, very hard. The head of his cock was deep red, brick-red, and very round, smooth as a plum. He kept sticking it in and out of my mouth and I sucked on it like a piece of candy. He really liked that best of all, because he began to moan and tremble, saying dirty things to me.
"Do it, baby. Suck. Suck hard. It's hot for you, Ethel," he gasped.
Then, when my tongue and lips were weak from the effort of holding onto his prick, he pulled it out of my mouth and swung around on the bed, falling heavily on top of me. He ground his hairy belly into my loins and I could feel his long cock pushing up and down along my mound. That feeling was even nicer than when he had put his mouth down on my cunt and I held onto him, wondering why everyone made such a big deal out of rape when it could be so nice.
He played with my tits as he rubbed and then he got on his knees and told me to open my legs as wide as I could. He stuffed a pillow under my bottom and then, holding his tool with one hand, he guided it down between the raw lips of my cunt.
I looked down between my legs and saw this great pole of flesh with a round, red head moving slowly inside of me. At first, it started to hurt again, but my father slowed down and I relaxed. Then, he moved it in some more, until half of his very long rod was buried inside me.
"Oh, it's so tight and hot, Ethel," he said. "It's so good for your daddy. He needs this so bad. Mama won't let me do it anymore and you feel so good around my cock, honey."
He pushed down with his muscular thighs and pretty soon his entire affair was deep inside of me. The feeling was unbelievable, Doctor. I felt his cock everywhere, touching every part of me. It rubbed up and down against the walls of my vagina and something happened to me because I remember shivering violently, groaning out loud and then a gush of liquid flowed down the length of my cunt, lubricating and washing over his erect penis.
He told me later that that was what an orgasm was. It was just terrific. I wanted it to happen again and so I wrapped my legs around his back and pushed up to meet the pounding thrusts of his cock. He kept moaning and drooling as he moved on top of me and I held onto his ass with both hands, lifting myself off the bed.
"Now, baby. It's coming-coming, creaming, now, now," he whispered fiercely, plunging again and again inside my cunt.
Then, I felt his hot juices rushing out of his prick, shooting up inside of me and bathing my entire canal with a warm juicy spread. I did it again, Doctor. I trembled and moaned and shook and something took hold of me, making my nerves tingle and my cunt feel on fire. I screamed out loud and my own juices cascaded down, mingling with my father's come.
We lay there together, holding onto each other, not moving. He was still inside of me, but pretty soon he went limp and pulled his dripping cock out. I looked at it, all covered with our slime, and it was much smaller and softer than before. It looked like a different thing altogether.
He got up quickly from the bed and put on his pants, looking down at me with an embarrassed expression on his face. He found a five-dollar bill in his pocket and pressed it into my hand.
"It'll be our secret, Ethel. Okay? But, you can't tell your mama, or else well never be able to do this again," he said, his face red, his breath coming in short, nervous spasms.
I just nodded my head, not knowing what to say.
When he left, closing the door behind him, I began to cry, though I can't even say why I was sobbing, because ultimately, the experience had been so pleasant physically and my two orgasms had been so unbelievably terrific.
Although obviously annoyed, Mrs. G. agreed to make a second appointment.
INTERVIEW TWO
When Ethel arrived for our second session, her mother didn't interfere as much as she did the last time. Ethel was very anxious to pick up where she had left off.
Do you remember last week when I told you about me and my father? Well, the following night my parents went out together. I was left alone in the house with my brother, Billy, and we started to talk. After a bit, he asked me if I'd like to play a game of poker or two with him. He really likes card games.
I told him I didn't have any money to bet and he just laughed and suggested we play strip poker, which would be more fun. I don't know why I agreed, but I thought it would be just fun, kid stuff. So, we went up to my room and sat on my bed, playing cards.
And I began to lose. First, I had to take off my socks and shoes. Then Billy lost a round and took off his shirt. He wasn't wearing an undershirt and I was awed by his bare chest. He had muscles on top of muscles and all the years I remembered his lifting weights. It certainly paid off. He was built like a strong-man at the circus, with a thick pelt of curly black hair running down the middle of his chest and fanning out across his pectorals, covering his nipples
He rolled his muscles for me and showed me a tattoo on his arm. It was the freakiest thing.
It was a naked woman and when he moved his muscles, the woman made the dirtiest suggestive movements. I thought it was really a gas.
Then, we kept on playing. I had to take off my blouse and he just stared at me in my brassiere as he dealt out the cards for another hand. But, I won that one and made him take off his pants. He sat on the bed wearing his undershorts and I could see a heavy rounded bulge pushing against the tight cloth of his shorts.
I thought it was time to stop playing the game, but he made me continue, looking at me and licking his lips. I lost the next hand and didn't want to take off anymore of my clothes, but Billy just reached out and pulled my bra off. My breasts bounced into view.
"Wow, Ethel! What a great set of boobs. I never thought you were built so well," he commented, his hand reaching down and pulling at himself.
And then, the head of his cock popped into view through the fly of his underwear. I didn't say a thing. But I kept staring at it and he sat there, doing nothing to hide his obvious erection. I noticed how long and thick his penis had gotten. My pussy juices flowed at the sight of his giant weapon.
So, I told him I was tired of the game. At that point, he grabbed me by the shoulders and insisted we keep on playing. He was so strong and powerful that I obeyed. And then I had to take off my skirt and then my panties. I was completely naked and I tried to cover myself but he just looked and whistled and lowered his shorts so that he was also stark naked.
"You're too much, Sis. Look how hot and bothered you've made me get," he said in a whisper, his hand reaching out and cupping my nearest breast I felt his fingers sliding over my skin, tickling my nipple.
"You shouldn't do that, Billy," I told him, edging away.
"Why not, honey? I got a nice big one for you to suck and you got two places to put it. You ain't a virgin anymore, are you?"
I didn't say anything, but his hand shot out and pressed down on my mound, his fingers probing between the lips of my cunt. I was terrifically excited as he touched me and pretty soon my insides were moist and damp.
"Spending so quickly? You're a hot little piece, Ethel," he said with a laugh, kneeling down and opening his mouth. I lay back on the bed and watched him as his tongue began to slide all over my cunt, nibbling on my pubic hair, chewing on my clit, probing between the slightly inflated lips of my box as he worked his tongue inside and licked up my juices.
Then he got up into a crouch and straddled me. I could see his great, big cock, bigger and thicker than ever, sticking up from between his legs. He had a huge, hairy, wrinkled sack hanging down from it and his whole body was one mass of hard-knotted muscle.
"Take it in your mouth, baby. You want me to give it to you?" he asked.
I said "yes" in a whisper, but he didn't listen or chose to hear me. He lowered himself on top of me, his cock bobbing in my face, straddling my waist. I lay back, my mouth watered. I longed for his thick love stick, his thick cock head pumping my mouth. The swollen head of his penis pushed apart my lips, eagerly seeking out its warmth and depth.
Without waiting for a word from me, he just shoved his rigid pole all the way in my mouth and down my throat. My tissues were stretching to the aching point, I gagged and swallowed his horny prick. But he just clamped his hand over my head and pushed me down on his eager fuck stick.
I felt his cock banging against the walls of my throat canal. His prick was so stiff and huge in my mouth that I couldn't move, I couldn't even gag. He poked it in and out very rapidly, burying his meat down my hungry throat. He said nothing, but only grunted like a wild animal. He didn't touch my tits or anything. He just concentrated on fucking my mouth. I kept quiet, letting him pump my face wildly. I sucked him rapidly and felt his monstrous prick swell, closing my throat tube. I gasped for air.
I threw my legs over his shoulders and spread my cunt wide. His hairy chest rubbed briskly across my tits and my nipples as he devoured my honey pot, his tongue darting in and out of my hungry cave. His muscular arms holding my legs high in the air, forcing my back deep into the mattress.
It was a most wonderful feeling!
I looked down and saw his blood gorged thing throbbing in anticipation and hunger for my hot box. I would make him wild with desire. I would tease and suck his cock until he begged for my twat.
"It's so hot and juicy, baby," he moaned. "My cock wants to fuck it. Fuck it," he moaned. "I want inside you, bitch-! I want "my cock in your mouth, your cunt, your ass. Suck my dick, bitch." He jerked my head down onto his throbbing rod.
I loved his huge meat down my throat, pumping, pumping. His sweet pre-come enticing me for more, more of his stud juice.
I felt his mouth on my clitoris, sucking, slurping, eating my hot snatch.
His enormous cock gagged me. I relaxed my mouth and throat and took every inch of his gigantic tool. His strokes became more rapid and frantic, as did mine. We bucked, and sucked and shivered and whistled. Orgasms were beginning.
"Don't come yet, bitch!" he growled.
I nodded and screamed as more hot flashes shook me. I was electrified, every nerve tingled, my pussy twitched and creamed and my juices were running down over my legs by this time.
I felt his load gushing up inside of me, an enormous amount of hot, frothy juice. It shot for several seconds as he twitched on top of me, finally calming down and laying there, his weight heave on my belly.
"You're a piece," he said, lifting his head and staring me in the eye.
"And you're sick to do this to your own sister," I replied.
He just laughed, not at all concerned about the repercussions of his act. "You wanted it, Ethel. You agreed to play the game and when two grown-ups play strip poker, there's only one thing on their minds, honey-pot," he told me, kissing me on the lips
"Only one thing on your mind, Billy. I don't think that way," I replied hotly.
"Now you do, sweetheart. It's just gonna be you and me from now on, fucking whenever the urge comes over us. You'll like that little arrangement, especially when you know you can't tell the folks."
"And why do you think that?" I asked.
"Why? Because Mom thinks you're a nasty little cunt anyway. She wouldn't believe you if you stood on your head. I'm her Billy-boy, remember? Her favorite sweet Billy. Shell only make it unbearable for you if you go shooting off your mouth. And if you do, Ethel, I'll make it really hot for you. That's a warning. You wouldn't like to get your face smashed, baby, now would you?"
He's an evil prick, no two words about it.
But, that evening's sick adventures weren't over yet, Doctor. Not by along shot. We were lying there together and he began rubbing up against me, his cock getting hard again. I had no energy to fight and to tell you the truth, I knew that he had meant what he had said. My mother, you've met her already, is a nasty bitch of a woman and she wouldn't listen to me if I said the house was on fire.
Anyway, we were on the bed together and Billy got up and turned around. He lay down on his side and began licking my cunt and he told me to suck his cock to make it hard.
It looked so big, sticking out from between his legs, that I wasn't as turned off to the idea as I had been with my father. So, I began to stroke his penis, making it hard. I licked the head of his cock and tongued the shaft, holding his huge horse balls in the palm of my hand and tickling them.
We were busily engaged, our eyes concentrating on each other's sexes, when the door to my room opened. I didn't hear it, but I did hear it slam shut. I looked up, frightened out of my head, expecting to see my mother standing there. But, it wasn't. It was my Uncle Tony.
"How nice and cozy," he said, moving up to us, patting my brother on the head. "Brother and sister doing it as naked as the day they were born. Is there room for a third?"
Tony's a real smart-ass and he began to giggle. My brother told him to take off his clothes and join us, it would be more fun that way. So Tony undressed quickly and got on the bed. He isn't nearly as good-looking as my brother and not very muscular. He's tall and lean and his cock is the same way, long and thin.
Tony got down, pressing himself up against us. At this point, I was ready to try anything. It was obvious that I could do nothing to escape, so I contented myself with the impending moments of pleasure.
I still had my brother's tool in my mouth, so I kept on sucking. Billy played and ate me out and Tony wiggled up against me and began licking my tits with his incredibly long tongue. It was the strangest looking tongue I had ever seen and he could make it stick out a good six inches. He licked my tits with great sweeping motions of his wonderful tongue, wetting every inch of my flesh. Then, he pushed me over on my side and knelt down by my buttocks.
He spread the cheeks of my ass apart and poked his tongue inside the warm furrow, finding my asshole and licking that until I relaxed the muscles and he worked his tongue all the way inside me. The sensation was fantastic. I was being licked and sucked on both sides, Billy busy with my cunt and now Tony working on my ass.
I moved my mouth away from my brother's stiff-stander and began to frig him as I reached out with my other hand and grabbed hold of Tony's long thin tool. He loved that right away, Doctor, and moaned, as I moved my hand quickly up and down his cock, playing with his nuts and making him wild with excitement.
"Harder, Ethel," my uncle urged, moving in and out of my ass with his tongue.
I rubbed furiously at both organs, hoping to bring them to a crisis. But they weren't satisfied with hand-jobs. They wanted the real thing. Billy moved around again and pushed his cock right inside my cunt, sliding up the moist furrow without any preliminaries.
I felt him moving around inside of me and it was unbearably delightful I threw my hips up to meet his strokes and he fucked like the devil, pumping and humping in and out, his hairy balls banging smartly against my upraised bottom.
Seeing my brother and I fucking really fired Tony up. He was wallowing around on the bed like a pig, looking for a place to stick his cock. I expected him to try to put it up my ass since he had been so busy sucking my hole with his tongue.
Sure enough, he moved behind me and spread the cheeks of my ass apart with his eager fingers. "You want it again?" I heard him ask me.
Tony kneeled behind me, applying cold cream or some kind of lubricant to his long, tapering shaft.
I was fascinated and kept my eyes glued to Tony's cock. Then my uncle knelt down behind me and slowly inserted the knob of his thin affair right in my asshole.
"Slow, baby," my brother said to his uncle. "Little by little, work it in there, Tony. Screw right up her ass.'"
Tony grunted and pressed his tool right inside my asshole. He hung onto Billy's back and the two men rocked together, locked as one, pumping at the same rate so that the bedsprings creaked and shook as they worked at their fucking with me in the middle.
I was, surprisingly, quite turned on by it all. The two men hovered above me and they strained and hammered away. My cunt was filled with juice and I felt my breath coming in short, wet gasps. Billy's enormous dick rubbed with terrific friction against the throbbing folds of my cunt. The feeling was one of overpowering rapture and I twisted about and heaved to meet his penetrating spearing thrusts.
"Are you ready, Tony?" Billy asked, looking over my shoulder as his uncle, my uncle as well, poked his rod in and out of my quivering ass.
"Any second now. I'm-oh, shit, cock-I'm coming-" Tony shouted.
I could feel him shoving in on my backside and I pushed up on Billy as Billy panted and swore, coming in a great gush inside of me and enveloping my cunt with his hot thick cream.
Then Tony came as well and then, at last, I felt that wonderful nervous energy pouring through my body, my brother's cock seemingly filling up every part of me. I shivered and grit my teeth as my own orgasm consumed me. leaving me limp and exhausted on the twisted sheets of my bed.
"She's a hot little pussy, all things taken into consideration," my brother said, rather clinically. He asked me who had taken my cherry.
I didn't know what to say, but he pressed me for an answer. "I can't say. I promised to keep quiet about it."
"Then it had to be Pop," Billy said to me.
I was flabbergasted. My father had turned, at the revealing instant, into some kind of super-sexual freak. I decided that I would have to tell my mother before things really got out of hand.
So a few days later, thinking she was in a good mood, I told her exactly what had happened. I wasn't going to say anything about my brother or my uncle because I like them and I didn't want to get them in trouble, even if Tony is a wise-guy and an asshole now and then. But when my mother refused to believe what she had heard about her husband, I just spilled the beans and shot my mouth off about the whole thing.
And that's why she brought me here. I don't know what else to tell you, Doctor. It's not that I even mind going to bed with Billy or even Tony, but the thought of doing it with my drunken father makes me puke.
CONCLUSION
Ethel G. faced a most difficult obstacle at the onset of our therapy. She had neither her mother's love nor the woman's belief in the validity of her accusations.
I was put into a double bind. If I told Mrs. G. that her daughter wasn't lying, as I firmly believed, the woman would take her daughter home and destroy her family. But, if I kept quiet about it, she would continue thinking Ethel was a liar and the girl would be constantly sexually abused by the three men in the house.
I rejected the above two ideas, and, instead, I found a third. I asked Mr. G. to come up and see me one afternoon. I gave him the ultimatum that if he didn't leave his daughter alone, I would report him to the police. I told him that his wife didn't believe the stories, but that I was going to act as Ethel's protector.
I think this bit of strategy did the trick; so far, he has left her alone. Tony and Billy have left the house to get married, and now Ethel is living a normal sexual life.
CASE HISTORY TWO
Subject: Linda P. Age: Fifteen
INTERVIEW ONE
When I first saw Linda P., she was a very confused girl. Just fifteen, she had been referred to me by a psychiatric clinic. I immediately accepted her case, because I could that she desperately needed help.
She was tall and limber. Her long black hair fell straight to her waist, and her body was long and well-proportioned. What was probably most striking, aside from her lovely face, were her long legs. They carried her with a regal stride which made her seem confidently poised even when she was not.
The first time she came she was dressed like a gypsy. She had a silk scarf around her head and a black leotard on her top. She wore a fully tapestry skirt which was embroidered and stitched. She was a swirl of color from her boots to her head band.
She sat down looking confident and slightly truculent. She waited for me to start, so I did. I asked her a few question and she answered them in one word whenever possible. Then I got quiet and told her that she could tell me anything that she felt like. She hesitated a minute and then she started talking. Below is a transcript of her words.
I never really liked talking to people. I certainly don't like talking to doctors and policemen. All they've ever done, man, is fuck me over. What a waste of time! But, there are some things I've been wanting to rap about.
I always seem to get myself involved in these bad scenes. I don't do it on purpose. It just seems to happen. I can't help myself.
Ever since I split from home when I was thirteen. It was really impossible there. I mean, we had a lot of money and things. But my parents are so plastic, you just wouldn't believe.
We never could talk together. I mean, even about little stuff we were having arguments. Especially me and my mother never could agree. It was fight, fight, all the time. So, I just had enough one day and I ran away. It was the best thing I ever did.
But ever since then, I have gotten into some weird situations. I don't just mean way out situations. That's okay, sometimes, to be way out. But, I mean, I seem to get in things and just get hurt. I don't really knew why.
It all kind of started when I got to the city. I met this chick and this guy. She was named Fran and he was named Larry. I thought they were the greatest people. You know, I met them on the street in he East Village. That was about two years ago. The scene was pretty grim down there.
But, I didn't know where to go after I ran away from home. I really wasn't ready to go to California or anything like that. That was too far away.
So, I went down to the East Village and hung out. But it was the winter time. I picked a really stupid time to run away from home.
It was fucking snowing and it was twenty degrees out. I just left with all these old clothes and I was really cold. I stood around the candy stores and stuff for a day. I was really getting hungry. Things certainly weren't groovy.
Everyone was out to rip you off. I was pretty cool. I mean, I was really suspicious and I didn't get ripped off or anything. But I was also going crazy trying to find someone to help me at the same time I was snarling at people to leave me alone.
I was thinking about going back home, when I sat down on the steps to one of the macrobiotic restaurants. The people there were pretty nice. They didn't chase me away.
I just sat there. I was looking at my hands and thinking how cold I was. I guess maybe I was crying. Larry came up to me and knelt down next to me. He had a long curly black beard. He had a blue knitted cap pulled down over his head. I thought he was the cutest thing I had ever seen. He was so cute. His eyes were real kind. He asked me what the matter was. I told him I was cold and he said that I should come with him.
I was scared, but, shit, I was getting so cold that I was ready to take anything so long as it was indoors and warm.
Well as soon as I saw Fran sitting inside, I felt relieved. I figured that if she was there it was going to be a cool scene.
I sat down at one of the tables. The place smelled really good. They asked me if I was hungry. I really was and I ate a meal so fast I thought maybe I was a magician. Anyway, after
I was finished they said that I could come home with them.
They led me down Second Avenue to Fifth Street. They lived between First and Second Avenue on Fifth Street. The place looked really like a dump. But, up the stairs and into their place I saw it was kind of nice.
They lived on the top floor. They had a view over the roofs of the other house. The lights flashed on and off in the distance. The place was full of cats and rugs. There were mattresses all over the floor of one of the rooms. There were curtains and fabrics hung all over the place. It had the feel of a harem or something.
I felt at home right away. I wasn't embarrassed about taking their food or staying there. They were the nicest people I had ever met. They just seemed to be glad to be giving me something because I needed it.
I told them all about my mother as we sat on one of the mattresses. The whole room smelled of cats and incense. We passed around a joint. It was the first one I had ever smoked. They taught me how and pretty soon I felt all right.
I was full of food and I was warm and full of dope. It was lovely. I told them all about my parents and how materialistic they are. That was what bothered me at home. The only thing they cared about were their things. They didn't give a flying fuck about anything else. They didn't care about ME!
Over and over, we used to get into fights about how I should act. It never was what they wanted me to do. But what right did they have to tell me what to do? Why should I do what they wanted? They weren't so nice to me that I should be so nice to them.
Anyway, I told Larry and Fran all about this, and they seemed to understand about it all. They told me parents were sometimes very heavy. They said, you just had to be cool and not let it bother you.
I liked the way they treated me, like a grown-up. They didn't tell me that my parents were right like you'll probably do. They believed my side of the story.
Anyway, after we had been smoking for a little while, I started feeling really nice. I could feel all the muscles in my body. They put on some records. I just kind of lay there on the mattresses dancing to the music. It was kind of a tingling feeling which went through me. It stirred me up so much, that I started shaking my hips and tits all over.
I was really dancing. The rhythm seemed to cut all the way through me. It was like a wave moving back and forth. I just let go of everything. I didn't worry about how I looked.
All I did was shake and shimmy. I was moving so smooth. I felt as if I was drifting away.
Around and around I moved my ass on the mattress. I didn't know that Fran and Larry were watching. Then I heard his voice in my ear. It was warm and loving.
"You look beautiful, baby," he said. It made me feel so nice. I was surprised he had been watching me, but I was so glad he thought I looked good. I kept my ear there and he kissed it.
He ran the tip of his tongue around the inside of my ear and made me shiver all inside. I couldn't help but push against him.
Every second seemed to last a whole hour. Every time he pushed into my ear, I felt as if the tide were coming in. I moved slowly from side to side, each muscle in my body moved in beautiful coordinated lust.
I couldn't bear the lust flowing through me without letting it come out. I moved in a sensuous dance. I craved to have his hands all over me. I really felt like a belly dancer there on the bed.
His fingers played sexily on the tips of my ear. He held my earlobe and traced tiny paths of joy down my neck to my chest.
He played with the buttons on the front of my shirt. He moved his fingers there and I moved in a trance under them. He traced patterns there and I rubbed on his fingers.
Each time my nipples touched the fingers through the smooth fabric, I sighed and felt myself slipping further and further under the sweet feeling.
He opened my shirt, one button at a time, and slid the shirt off my breasts. He rubbed lovingly over the naked breasts. He put his mouth down on them and I moaned.
Fran came over and rubbed in a circle on my stomach. Then she slid off my skirt. It came sliding down my thighs in a sensuous dream. I moved my hips intensely from side to side on the soft quilt.
The feel of it on the back of my naked thighs felt so nice I kept moving. Then Fran's cold fingers were under the band of my panties. She slid them off down my hips.
I was naked on the bed except for my high-laced boots. I felt them so tight on me I begged for her to take them off me.
She opened the laces and loosened each one. She pulled each one off and I felt like a butterfly emerging from a cocoon. Naked, I stretched my arms and legs on the bed.
Larry kissed my ear and stood up. He stripped off his T-shirt. He pulled off his boots and opened his jeans. His hairy black legs looked like a spider and he hopped there. But his dark box was full of coiled black hair which thrilled me to look at.
He knelt down by my head and kissed me from ear to ear. We licked each other and our tongues locked in our joined mouths. His kiss was like a searing flame.
I felt Fran, cool and nude on my leg. I looked up and there she was moving slowly over Larry's back with her fingers. She massaged deep there and Larry moved sensuously under her fingers.
I felt his mouth hot on mine and he moved over my chest. Fran rubbed his back. He moved slowly on top of me. The grass made it seem as if he was a sweet syrup on top of me. His whole body was sweet and lovely like a dream.
I saw Fran take his cock and balls in her hands. He raised up on his knees to let her roll his cock and balls tenderly like a piece of clay.
Over and over she pulled and stroked his balls until he was moaning. She propped under him and put her mouth under the tip of his cock. She slipped it into her mouth.
She was like a little calf drinking at a cow's udder. Slowly, she took it in and out of her mouth. The smooth wet surface of his dick glistened at her lips.
I stirred inside to watch it and I kissed his tongue thrust in my mouth as if it were a cock. Back and forth he pushed his tongue in my mouth and I sucked hard at it and my lips were wet.
His hands were on my tits caressing the nipples softly. It was a thrill in me to feel him touch each comer of my nipple and pull them out longer. He rubbed down around the side and the tender flesh sent thrills all through me.
Fran rubbed her hands up to his ass and kissed his ass cheeks. She pushed him over on his back beside me and went all the way down on his cock.
Her throat seemed to be full of his cock as she shoved it all the way inside. I watched as she chewed on him and he twisted in sweet agony.
Then he told me to sit on his face. I straddled him and he held my ass cheeks in his hands. I was facing down his body as his tongue flicked up into my cunt.
He moved deeper with his fingers. Then he pulled at my cunt lips and rolled them in his fingers. Fran went further and further down his dick and he crushed my ass in his fingers.
I wiggled my ass fucker down in his face and he went wild. He pushed up my cunt and chewed with his teeth deep in my crack. I could feel the tender eating there and I tried to screw myself further down on it.
His hand sought up my stomach and held my tits as they hung there. I swung them back and forth and he grabbed and squeezed them.
I rocked from side to side there and felt myself growing more and more lost in the lovely blowing and sucking in my pussy. He lapped up at my clit and sucked it hard into his mouth.
I twisted and he moved in a joyous sweet arching. He pushed his ass up and shoved his dick deep into her mouth. Fran twisted around and sucked harder on his cock. She fondled his balls.
The two of us put our arms around each other. I locked my arms down around Fran's chest and he pulled my ass tight against his mouth. I fell over and he nibbled on me like a little fish.
I patted and licked at the black hair all over his belly. Then Fran pulled his dick out of her mouth and straddled him. She slid his dick down in her long cunt. She took him effortlessly all the way into her and started twisting madly on his sweet love stick.
Faster and faster she twisted coming in savage contortion. Faster she moved and came again almost immediately. I bucked on his mouth and his tongue flicked in and out of me.
Fran got off his prick and pulled me off his mouth. She showed me how to straddle his cock and sit down on it. I was scared but she took my ass in her hand and guided me down. It was the first time I had ever had a boy's cock inside me.
I had heard it would hurt. But when the tip of his organ slid inside of me, I didn't feel anything but lust. The second his cock touched the tip of my clit I shivered.
She shoved me slowly down on his shaft and he moved his dick around in my hole slowly until he found the right spot.
Then I went crazy. I started shaking and moaning as I pushed myself all the way down on his dick. The shiver sucked the breath out of me. I twisted around and Fran massaged my nipples from behind.
She took them in her hands and bit my neck. I quivered faster and faster. I felt my thighs hot and wet. I looked down and saw Larry's stomach and the base of his cock covered with my blood.
He fucked the brown root into me and I took it in, each time closer to coming. Fran licked up my spine and I tingled. I couldn't breathe fast enough. Her hands were all over my breasts. Then she rubbed down my stomach and buried her fingers in my bush.
She pushed the lips of my cunt against his dick as it slammed up into my pussy. I twisted like I had seen her do it. Then I felt the sweet lust rising inside me. I couldn't stop moving.
Around and around I moved until I creamed in savage joy in my guts. Faster I twisted and her finger clutched at my clit. The organ was engorged beneath her fingers.
I moaned and came as he shoved his member to the back of my cunt. Then I pumped and felt a bursting flash of light in my guts and threw my head back on Fran's shoulder. She twisted around and kissed me savagely as I came with his spurting cock in my cunt.
He shafted up harder and harder with each burst of his come. Over and over he shoved his come-throbbing dick into me until he was spent back on the mattress. I fell forward on top of him and Fran rubbed my back laughing.
"It's time to go now," I said.
She looked at me as if I had just awakened her from a long dream. She shook her head and rubbed her hands over her eyes.
"I guess I really got into it," she said. "Wow, I guess I really had a lot to get off my chest."
INTERVIEW TWO
This time I wanted to know a little about how Linda was. She was looking rather dragged out. I saw she still dressed like a gypsy. Her dress for the second interview was a long flowing silken blouse and huge baggy pants. Her waist and neck were tied with scarves and her long hair flowed down sensuously.
She sat in front of me and put her head in her hands in a gesture which made her look a lot older than fifteen. She sighed a long sigh and then looked up at me. What follows are her words from that interview, exactly as she spoke them.
It's been such a long time, Doctor. I don't think you know how much of a drag it is to be a runaway. I mean I would go back if I could. I'm not saying I wouldn't have run away in the first place. It was pretty lousy at home.
But I'm living about the same as I was two years ago. Right now I'm crashing with this guy and chick who are married. It's a pretty weird scene because I'm balling both of them and neither one of them knows about it.
But it's been two years since I was living with Larry and Fran. They were the nicest to me. I haven't found anyone who is as nice as they were. Two years is a long time. I start feeling really old sometimes.
I lived with Larry and Fran for three months. When I look back on it it seems as if it were longer. But actually it was so nice I wish it never had to end.
After that first time in bed we never stopped. Every chance we got we were in the sack together. I think Larry was working for the Welfare Department at the time. It was some kind of bullshit job which he could finish with three days a week work.
Sometimes he felt bad about ripping off the city for the money they were paying him. But it kept us all in food and dope. He could forge it pretty easily. Fran wasn't doing any kind of work at the time, I guess you could say she was working at living.
She and I would go out and try to scrounge up food. We would go all over in bakeries and stores asking for old bread and vegetables. Most of the time we got it.
I guess they thought we were two sisters or something. Fran always kind of excited them and intimidated them at the same time.
I remember she had a way of swaggering into a store and demanding, in a sweet way, that they give us some old bread. If anyone said they didn't have anything she would just stand there with her hands on her hips and her head cocked defiantly. She refused to believe them!
That usually worked pretty well. After a while they gave in and brought something out from the back. Then she was flirtatious. She would sidle up to the manager or clerk and nudge him with her hips. She would smile and tell him that she couldn't thank him enough.
After a while he would be standing there with his tongue hanging out. Then I would have to laugh and that would blow the whole thing. But it was a good laugh on everyone.
I remember one day, after I had been living with them for about three weeks. We had been out all morning getting food and panhandling some change. It was a crisp winter morning. It wasn't too cold and everything seemed to have put on a fresh coat of sunshine for the occasion of the day.
We got home, which was, like I said, this really ratty building on Fifth Street about one o'clock and put all the stuff away. Then we settled down to a peaceful afternoon smoke.
The sunlight streamed in the window because we lived on the top floor. The sky seemed closer than the ground. I felt myself floating up and up into it as if I were coming loose from the earth.
We smoked long deep drags of the joint and let the grass take us higher and higher. In a little time we were completely wrecked.
I sat there grinning at her. We were reliving our escapades that day. We couldn't stop laughing as we reminded each other of how the guy in the fruit stand had been really nasty until Fran bent over and let him look down her blouse. She wasn't wearing a bra and I guess the guy got more than he had bargained for when he looked in. It was so funny.
He got so nice to us in a nervous frantic sort of way. I couldn't figure whether he was trying to get us to stay longer or leave sooner!
We were rolling on the floor in a buzzing drugged haze. I sort of leaned over and put my head in Fran's lap still laughing about what has happened. It was so much fun to do things with her.
She stroked my hair gently and I sighed. All the laughter kind of ran out and lay there feeling somehow very sad. The silence seemed to come rolling in. I felt myself start to cry.
I turned over on my back and looked up into her eyes. I felt mine pool with tears and bit my lips.
"It's all right little girl," she said. "It's all right." She brushed the hair out of my eyes and stroked my forehead. There was a hunger inside me which I had to fill.
She bent and kissed my eyes. I felt her lips smear the wet tears down my cheek and she licked them. She murmured deep in her throat and felt my neck with her fingers. I felt her fondle my ears and chin. She explored all over my face and neck with her tender hand.
I threw my arms around her neck and pulled her down until I had her mouth. I kissed long and hard, our tongues flicked around each others in our mouths. We kissed deep and wetly. Her whole body forced down on me. She drew me up closer and caressed the back
Faster and faster our tongues danced. The grass made it all seem as if it were happening in slow motion. Each flick was like an earthquake or the movement of two giant boa constrictors in the jungles of Peru.
I felt as if I were washing away. I pulled up at her and rubbed my fingers in her long shaggy curls. They were still cool from the air outside. I felt all the way down through them to her neck and she sighed.
We fell back on the floor side by side and caressed each other up and down. Each stroke was a beautiful shivering. I ran my fingers over her flanks. I felt the rise of her hips where they met her waist.
I rubbed down and felt her hot body through her clothes. I wanted to taste the pale flesh underneath. I licked her neck and held her head in my hand as we kissed.
We were lost and groaning with pleasure when Larry came in. He was off early from work and he had brought a couple from down the block who were friends.
They came in and smiled when they saw us on the floor. Someone made a joke about marijuana and sex orgies. Larry made another few joints and pretty soon they were as wrecked as we were.
The guy and girl soon had their clothes off and were going at it on the mattress over in the corner. Their slurping and panting filled the room. I could see her underneath him straining and twisting. She had her fingers on his dick and was pulling it back and forth.
Each time he did she sighed and pulled in a sweet joyful arc. Harder and harder I heard them breathe. It turned me on to watch them do that. I could feel the heat of their bodies. I watched as they were covered with sweat. I saw her fingers trace sharp patterns across his skin as he clutched at him.
Her cries made my insides tremble next to Fran. Larry came over and pulled off my shirt. I lay back on the floor and let him pull off my pants. The air was cool as I lay there on the floor in my panties. Then he pulled them off with his teeth as he nibbled around my hips. All the way down he licked at my thighs and pussy.
I felt his tongue like a little dog lapping at me. I pushed up to meet it and his hands fluttered at my stomach. He caressed me until
I was going crazy.
Next to me Fran was moaning in my ear. It was a long lost drone which carried me higher and higher. I had my eyes closed and I felt myself just drifting away unconscious under Larry's fingers.
Faster and faster he licked and pulled off my panties. The two of us twisted on the floor next to each other. I felt Fran pull off her blouse. Her hair shook in my face as she stripped off her pants. They slid off and I saw her curly thick bush. I smelled her musk in the closed grass-sweet room.
I saw her lips of love part as he lay back on the floor and beckoned to me with her arms. She begged for me to eat her. She sent her knees up and spread her legs. I couldn't resist!
I plunged my head into her snatch and pushed my tongue down onto her clitoris. I felt her wet and seething in my mouth. She responded and twisted her hips back and forth.
I licked her faster and felt Larry behind me grabbing my tits. He held them tight and pressed himself at my ass. I chewed down into her cunt and sucked on her cunt lips. I ran the tip of my tongue all around on her pussy and she moaned.
Larry's tongue played all over the flesh of my ass. His hands held my nipples and coaxed them stiffer and stiffer. He made a gesture with his ringer there like he was flicking marbles. It made me go crazy.
"Lick my asshole," I begged. It was so good to say it. I really wanted him to do it. Just saying it really turned me on.
He pushed his face down into my ass crack. I felt his curly beard tickle at the crack and he rubbed it back and forth faster. I swiveled my ass up in his face and he licked the entire length of my ass crack. Then he put the tip of his tongue at my quivering hole.
Around the straining ass muscle he ran his red tongue. Then with a push he shoved the tip inside. The wet creaming feeling filled me. I shoved my ass hard up against his mouth and begged for more. He slid it all the way inside and wiggled it around. I couldn't help but twist at him with my backside.
His fingers clawed at the flesh of my ass as his tongue roamed around inside. I felt him flash in and out with dozens of strokes. His fingers tickled my stomach and thighs.
Then he pushed his hand into my sopping crotch and pulled the tangles aside. Deep into the love lips he plunged and found my clit. It was hard and longing to be stroked. As I ate out Fran his prick rubbed my clit until I came in a blinding furious orgasm.
I pumped my ass back and around at his tongue as his finger went frenziedly on my clitoris. I could feel the come flow down my chute. Fran moaned and cried out as I rooted deeper into her bush.
She bucked her pelvis up at me with each stroke of my tongue. Her whole body was tense as she shoved and twisted her hips. I could feel her love juice hot on my face. I smelled her musk as I plunged my nose deeper and deeper between her ass cheeks.
Then he pulled out his tongue from my asshole and pushed himself against my rear. I felt his stiff naked cock bounce between my legs as he pulled it like a violin bow against my over-hanging pussy.
Three and four times he drew it hard like that until I was moaning and shivering. I reached underneath and pressed the tip of my fingers. It was hot and I felt the throb of his heart in it.
Each time he thrust it forward between my legs I strained down on Fran's mouth and twisted the tip of it in my fingers.
The sweet rhythm had me hypnotized. It strained with each stroke until I felt as if the cock were already inside me stretching my cunt larger and larger.
Then with a push of my fingers I directed his dick up into my spread-open cunt lips. I was wet and open. The flesh sword speared right through the love gates.
He slipped it all the way in. I felt his rod shaft all the way in my cunt. I twisted his dick hard to the left and right in my cunt.
The feeling was building and building. I ground his cock faster and faster inside. His finger moved hard on my neck. He massaged deep with his hand and traced sweet dancing patterns with his fingers.
I danced under his fingers. I fluttered as he moved up and down the flesh of my body quivered with his sweet tantalizing touches.
Fran moaned and came in my mouth. I clawed at her ass flesh and shoved my fingers in and out of her asshole. The wet of her cunt mixed with her reeking asshole. I shoved one finger hard up her cunt and one up her asshole.
I twisted them hard around together and pulled her back and forth. He moaned and I sucked deep and long on her clit. She fought against me. Her hands quivered at my back. She dug long scratches in me. But I licked and pulled harder and harder until she came in my fingers.
In my cunt Larry was moaning as he fucked me doggie-style. His hand pressed the lips of my cunt on his dick as it steamed in and out of my pussy. Faster and faster he shafted into me as I felt the passion swirl in long aching drug dreams.
I felt as if I were being fucked by a huge growing tree. The sound of the friends fucking the corner sounded like animals fucking in the woods. I let myself build higher and higher with their sucking and moaning.
I pumped my ass higher and higher in the air as his dick pounded inside me. I beat on my cunt and I felt him go wild at my backside. Faster and harder he jammed it into me and I let myself swirl and slide down a long long hill.
My breath seemed to breathe of itself. I just let myself go and came in agony of twisting and pumping. I felt his dick as he jammed it in and came in a burst of hot gism which exploded out of the blackness and spread hot white peace over my pussy.
He ground deep his last spurt and stayed hard inside me. He grabbed my shoulder and I backed one leg around over his chest without taking his dick out of my snatch.
He leaned back and laughed. I sat astride him with his delicious hot cock stuck stiff up into me. I circled my hips around in a sweet circle dance and let the muscles inside my pussy ripple free over his dick.
Fran whimpered and pulled herself up and sat on his mouth. I saw his long tongue snake out and touch her creaming clit as she pushed her lips down over his mouth.
The two of us bucked hard on top of him and he quivered. Faster and faster he twisted his hard rod up into me and clawed at Fran's stomach.
Harder and harder he jammed his dick up into my cunt and I caressed his balls behind me. I let my fingers trace intense patterns on them and I coaxed him until he shot another hot stream of come deep into my pussy.
I screamed with exquisite hot lust tearing inside me and twisted over on Fran's back. I shook all over and came as his cock shoved its deep joy up high into my cunt. I screamed again and came on his shafting cock until we ground out our lust on each other and fell exhausted in a haze of pot smoke.
"It's time for us to go, Linda," I said. "I wish we could continue and explore more than just the bare outline of the situation now. However we will have a chance in the coming sessions to do just that.
"As for now I hope you get straightened out with your living conditions. If you do that I think things will look up a little bit. Good-bye for now."
INTERVIEW THREE
There were dark circles under Linda's eyes the next time I saw her, and she looked very strung out. She sat and stared glumly at me at this our final session.
I tried to be as gentle as possible. I didn't want to get off on the wrong foot. I was afraid that if we broke our generally good relationship up to that point, there would be serious repercussions for her.
She pushed her long hair out of her face. It was lusterless and her eyes were dull and lifeless. She sat back and leaned her head against the wall. She sighed and I saw her whole body sag.
What follows are her words from that interview. I hope after reading them the reader will have a better understanding of the conflicts and suffering Linda had gone through in an effort to be an autonomous and independent person.
Do I feel crappy! Oh, my head really hurts. Man, I didn't feel like coming here. I just wanted to stay in bed. Ow! My neck feels as if there are pieces of lead stuck in it.
But I couldn't figure any good reason not to come. I couldn't figure out anything else to do. So I sort of dragged down here.
I really don't feel like doing too much talking today. Maybe you can do some of it huh? I mean it's kind of depressing when I talk about all the things in the past. It's like they are dead and they ought to stay that way. Like why bother to dig them up if they aren't going to solve anything today?
Do you really think talking about Fran and me is going to make it easier for me now? I can't really figure it out. But if you say so, I take your word. Ill try anything twice.
Things were pretty groovy at that place for a long time. Like Fran wasn't jealous of me or anything. You might think she would be. After all I was just a little girl and I was cute.
Larry really liked to ball with me. I think he liked my tits and ass. They were hard and tight. He liked to crush them in. his hands. He couldn't stop feeling me up whenever I was around.
But Fran never got jealous. Even when she came home and found us balling. She just took off her clothes if she was in the mood and joined right in. It was so cozy. I really loved it!
I remember once when they had a party. It was really a great bash. They invited all their friends. They knew all sorts of weird people. There were musicians and dealers. There were a lot of street people too.
They came late one night. It was like three o'clock in the morning and we were all dancing around to the Stones. It was really loud. The walls shook but no one cared.
They had these red lights in the ceiling and the fabric and rugs on the wall gave the whole place a really soft sensuous glow.
There were already a few people off in the other room balling. The rest of us were dancing our brains out. Faster and faster we shook it out. Someone kept putting the records on. Over and over again. I kept bouncing and twisting.
All night long there were joints floating around. It was really good stuff. That and the dancing really wrecked me. I remember twisting and pulling off my shirt. I felt I had to free.
I whirled the shirt around over my head and flung it in a corner. I swung my tits around and the pulling felt so sweet and sexy.
I started dancing again. I didn't know what I was doing. I was rubbing my tits and fluttering my fingers over my head. I was swaying and twisting like a Javanese temple dancer. I felt freer than I had ever felt before.
All around the room sort of faded. All I felt was my body and the pounding of the music. It all melted in one big whirling dance. It was like I was part of the flow of everything.
I danced with my eyes closed. But I didn't bump anyone. It was like I had radar. All the other people danced like we knew exactly where everyone else was. It was like all the people were just one person so how could anyone get in anyone else's way?
Someone handed me another joint. It was like it came from out of nowhere. Suddenly it was there in my hand and this guy with a long blond beard was leering in my face.
I took a long toke on it. It was grass but there was something behind it. I felt myself going up and up as if I were in the cockpit of a rocket ship. My whole body twisted around on itself and I was moving so hard I thought my muscles were going to tear from my body.
Faster and faster I whirled and the whole room was a painting of searing white light and pitch black shadows. Faster and faster I writhed. I remember feeling my arms over my head like snakes in the air.
Then there were someone's hands on my tits. They held them tight and massaged. I danced under the fingers and they squeezed my nipples.
I pressed my naked back against the person and felt someone's naked chest. I felt the hair there between his breasts like soft fur. I pressed back and rubbed my naked smooth skin back in a sweet aching dance.
Harder and harder I twisted and felt myself falling back. Over and over I let myself fall. I just let go all the way and felt his strong hands hold me.
Back and back I rolled and felt myself fall on the furry rug. I knew I was in the corner. I writhed my back deep in the fur. I dreamed I was in a cave and it was the dead of winter outside. AD the hot music and air disappeared. It was cold and I scrunched down deep in the fur.
I felt a hot naked body on top of me. His dick banged against my stomach and he knelt on all fours and kissed me. His blond beard rubbed in my face and I chewed at it deliciously. He pulled my jeans open and slipped them down. He slid off my panties and I writhed on the fur naked. The tiny hairs up between my ass cheeks tickled me and made me move back and forth.
He shoved his fingers into my pussy and held me there. He tore back and forth. I was so wet his fingers made a slurping sound as he shoved them in and out of the hole.
His palm moved over and over on my clit. He pulled at it with the base of his hand and I writhed under him. Then I felt a beardless face kissing ma A hot tongue slid into my mouth and I sucked hard on it.
Then another mouth was licking my belly. I rolled it like a dance and felt devoured by the tongue. Then there was someone at my legs licking sensuously up towards my pussy. I was covered with a dozen mouths. On my stomach and under my arms they licked and chewed. I felt them pulling at my pussy hair.
A tongue flicked into my cunt and sucked on my cut and pulled it long and hard into his mouth. I opened my eyes and saw them working over me. They bent like men devouring a fallen carcass in the jungle. I felt three mouths and hands as they massaged and licked at my flesh. I moved in response to all their fingers and tongues.
I shook my hips and tits and pushed harder. I felt myself wet with their spit. They licked all over me and tingled with the lust.
Then one took my legs and spread them high in the air. Between my legs he knelt and shoved his dick high into my cunt. It came like a flaming rod into me and I twisted fast on it.
The blond guy was on my tits licking and chewing hard. I pushed my tits up at his mouth and felt his hot dick pressing into my side as he chewed.
I saw a dark curly box in my face and a hot dick at my lips. He pressed it hard against my teeth and I opened to let him all the way inside.
I sucked deep in my mouth and felt the tiny drop of come poised on his cock tip. All around the flaring tip I licked and then down the quivering shaft. He pulled it back and forth in my mouth and I chewed. I felt the skin move over the hard turgid core of flesh. He moaned and I felt his balls dangling in my face.
Faster and faster the three pummeled and chewed. The cock in my pussy moved hard and fast. He screwed me with deliberate rhythm which grew faster and faster with each terrible stroke.
Together we moaned and shoved until he went wild at my ass and shot his juice deep into me. I moaned and took his spurting cock all the way inside ma I came as he shot his last cream into me and slid out.
In an instant the blond guy was inside me with his long and pointed cock. I felt it push to the back of my cunt and let him shaft deep once or twice.
I couldn't help but move under him. My whole body was melting under the white-hot friction of his lovely organ. Faster and faster he shoved inside me and I felt myself coming.
I screamed and he rammed it harder still. I came and bit hard on the cock shoved deep at the back of my throat. I sucked and my throat closed quivering on his dick. I felt his balls hard and the hot gism spurted from his dick straight down my throat.
I sucked the sweet juice and felt it flow inside me like a river. I felt the spurting on my tongue and came as the blond guy shoved his dick into the back of my cunt.
Harder and harder he writhed on me and came in a pounding sweet rain inside me. Over and over he rammed it along my cunt walls the back and center of me drawing out my moans like a ribbon.
I lay there under them, spent and covered with come. I chewed on the limp prick in my mouth and felt the blond guy move and lick my belly. I felt like the earth mother. It was so wonderful!
Then Larry was over me. He kissed my cheek and rolled me over on my back. I felt his hard cock in my ass cheeks as he lay behind me. He rammed it back and forth through my crack and it felt glorious and wet.
Harder and harder he clutched at my tits. He rubbed the come from my pussy up over my belly and nipples. He tantalized my flesh and I felt greased and slithery under his fingers.
I bent my ass up to him and he smeared the come out of my pussy and over my whole crack. In and out of my asshole he reamed his finger. I panted and opened and shut my tender aching muscle under his thrusts.
He rammed his finger all the way inside my asshole and I bent myself up at him. He whirled it around and tingled my insides. I felt stuffed with his finger.
He pulled it in and out a few more times and then dragged it out with a squeak. His hand spread my ass cheeks and shoved the tip of his dick at my tiny hole. He pushed and I bent myself open. He poised the tip at the hole and rubbed the speechless mouth there. Then he pushed.
Harder and harder his cock strained to pierce my shit tube. I felt the tearing pressure. Harder he pushed and then with a sweet wet sliding he was inside me. The full feeling made me quiver and I bent back against him with a savage twist of my body.
His hands were on my clit coaxing me to move harder and harder. In and out he sawed me. I couldn't stop moving under his dick and his finger. He caressed me from my neck down to my belly. Over and over he fondled my tits in his hand. I moaned and he shoved his lance deep in my boiling guts.
The blond guy rolled over in front of me and kissed me on the mouth. He tasted hot and funky. I licked his tongue and he pressed hard against me. Larry sawed into my asshole and the blond guy put the tip of his dick against my cunt hole.
Larry's fingers caressed my clit from the side as the guy shoved his hard dick up into my cunt. I twisted forward with my hips to let him in and Larry groaned with the twisting.
The two men went frantic. They crushed me between them as I struggled with their dicks deep inside. They ground together inside me and pounded out their sweet lust.
I dug my fingernails into the guy's neck. I felt him buck against me and shoved harder into me. He worked in and out with his cock. He felt me ripple my cunt inside and groaned in a smiling agony.
Faster and faster he rammed his prick and came spurting into ma I went crazy. I screamed and the whole world sparkled in brilliant lights. I was moaning and panting. I remember Larry's cock deep in my asshole. It was pounding higher and higher until I thought he would come out my mouth.
I just twisted on it until I felt him spurt a huge flood of his come in me. Over and over ground on the two cocks until I came in a blinding fast orgasm. It was so good. I can taste it! I just chewed on the guy's cock and rubbed back and forth between them until they came and came-
I'm sorry that we have to stop now," I said. "It's necessary I think to ask you exactly how you think all this is relating to your life now.
What I mean is why do you think this is important and how does it affect you now?
She looked at me and scratched her head. Then she got a little closer to the root of the problem.
I don't know what it is. I really liked Larry and Fran but all those scenes always ended up shitty. I mean they split for California and they didn't want to take me with them.
I kind of drifted around by myself. I found some other people to live with. They seemed nice enough. They were willing to take me in. But after a while they split too. No one seemed to want me around for very long. They always had other things and other people to be involved with. It always ended up with me back out on the street again.
It's been two years since I ran away. I mean I'm lucky I haven't been caught. Most runaways are caught real quick. But I usually find a place to stay.
Right now I'm staying with these two chicks and a guy. But I can tell it's going to end the same way. Sooner or later they will split and leave me with nothing. I get to feeling there is no sense in trying after a while.
"Look Linda," I said, "you're a pretty smart girl and you sure know how to take care of yourself. But it seems to me that you ought to see that all the people who have taken you in have had no interest in knowing you. You are just a plaything to them. You're just a groovy toy.
"After all you are only fifteen and pretty rootless. I mean you don't know what you want to do with your life or where you want to be. It's a fact of Nature that as long as you don't take care of yourself other people will do what they please with you.
"You can't expect some kind of mommy or daddy to come along and do what's best for YOU. Everyone does what's best for THEM and that's the way it is.
"It's tough for a fifteen-year-old to make her way on her own. But if you really want to do it you probably can. Do you or do you not want to go home?"
She thought for a minute. It was a long minute. Then she looked up at me for the first time and shook her head. "I don't want to go home," she said. "I want to make it on my own."
CONCLUSION
Over the course of the next few months Linda worked hard at figuring out what she wanted to do with her life. She got herself back into high school in the city and found a place to stay.
She got herself a job and made an arrangement with the people she was living with to work for most of her share of the rent.
It has been three years since I saw her last. She is now in college. She has made it on her own and she deserves to be proud for everything she has. She got it all by herself.
When she first left home, she was merely looking for parent figures or someone to take care of her and mistook that for sex. She found that she could use her good looks to attract people for this purpose. Actually, however, these dependent relationships were just more and more debilitating for her. Luckily, through her fortitude, she found her own strength and independence.
CASE HISTORY THREE
Subject: Jill B. Age: Fourteen
INTERVIEW ONE
The first time I saw Jill she was only fourteen. Her aunt with whom she lived had the good sense to bring Jill into therapy when she found that she could no longer deal with her problems alone. The girl displayed signs of being manic-depressive, and this alarmed her aunt.
I wanted Jill to trust in me, because without that trust, especially in a young woman, therapy would be fruitless. I was very interested in her right from the start.
Jill sat very quietly in her chair, obviously determined to act like a prim and proper young lady. From time to time, as we chatted casually, she would cast curious glances around my office. She was seemingly interested in her surroundings, yet, I knew she'd prefer to be with her aunt who was waiting for her in the outer office.
Our conversation at first was innocuous, consisting primarily of Jill's answers to my questions about her school, her friends, her hobbies and the like. Then, when she had relaxed a little, I started digging deeper.
"Now then, Jill," I began, "your Aunt Anna thinks you may have a little problem that I can help you with. I want very much to be your friend. Friends are always helping each other, you know. That's what they're for, right?"
"But how can you help me?" she asked, very seriously.
"You can start by telling me what's bothering you, that's how. I've had lots of experience helping girls like yourself solve their problems, and I'll bet that between the two of us well make a memory of your particular trouble. Who knows, Jill? Maybe in the near future you'll think back and wonder why you were so upset. You'll-"
"I guess that's my problem, Doctor. Memories, I mean."
"How do you mean?"
The young girl shifted in her chair. "Well, whenever I think of my stepfather and the awful things he made me do, I-I-"
"Go on, Jill. Remember, I want to help you."
At this point, I switched on the tape recorder and suggested to the girl that he start at the beginning and describe the relationship she had with her stepfather. I could sense that she was beginning to trust me and hoped that since she thought of me as a doctor, she would gradually loosen up and reveal that which she refused to divulge to her loving aunt.
Well, I guess you know that my stepfather is dead now. The small plane he was piloting crashed into the side of a mountain in Colorado. That happened about eight months ago, Doctor. I know it's not nice to say, but I'm glad he's dead. He was a bad man. He was cruel and mean and he didn't love me at all. All he cared about were those awful parties he held at his estate on Long Island.
I really don't know if my mother liked him, either. But Martin, that was his name, was very, very rich. My real father worked very hard, but I don't think he made much money. I guess when he died my mother decided to marry a wealthy man and live in comfort. Gee, I wish I knew where my mother was right now.
So after my mother left, I continued to live with my stepfather. I had never liked him in the first place, Doctor. Even when my mother was living with us he would catch me alone and start talking dirty. He would grin at me and say that I was going to be a very beautiful woman some day.
He said he liked to play with young girls, and that he could teach me a lot of fun games if I'd let him. But I wasn't interested at all. He frightened me. It scared me the way he would slink around the large house, like an ugly animal waiting to pounce on a helpless fawn.
I tried to tell people that I didn't want to live with my stepfather in that old, gloomy estate. But they just chuckled and said that I was upset because my mother had disappeared. No one believed me when I said I thought my stepfather wanted to hurt me. They all said I was imagining things. Martin was always giving me presents, expensive clothes, toys, stuff like that, and I guess they saw that as proof of his love for me.
But they were wrong. I had been afraid of my stepfather even when my mother was with us. But now I really got scared. He didn't hesitate to touch me now-something he hadn't done when my mother was around. He would put his hands on me, even between my legs, and squeeze me as if I were silly putty or something.
Then one day he told me that he was tired of living with a stupid little girl, that he was going to take me to a party where I would learn what it was all about. I didn't want any part of his parties because I knew what they were like. They were sex parties.
I had actually seen one, well, part of one, anyway. He thought I was asleep in the upstairs bedroom. Which I was until all the noise woke me up. I could hear people groaning, screaming, really, so I got out of bed, threw on my robe and tip-toed out into the hall. Very quietly I stepped down the stairs and then peered into the huge living room.
Doctor, it was awful. I couldn't believe my eyes. There were naked men and women all over. Some were having sex, moaning and groaning and shouting dirty words. But most of the people, the females especially, were being whipped. They were bent way over and the men were beating on their bottoms with leather straps.
The women were sobbing in pain, but I noticed that none of them tried to escape. I couldn't believe that they actually liked what the men were doing to them. But if they didn't, then they weren't telling the men.
I didn't see my mother anywhere. I started wondering where she could be. Maybe that's why she left-because she didn't like Martin's parties, I mean.
My mother and I got along just swell. I know my mother loved me very much, but I can't understand why she didn't take me with her when she left. She knew I didn't like Martin at all.
I sure hope she comes back one day. I mean, I like my Aunt Anna very much, but-
Jill let her voice trail off and peered down into her lap. A few tears began to trickle down her cheeks.
I thought it best to end the interview at this point. I had but scratched the surface of the young girl's troubles, but already I had a better than fair inkling of what lay behind them. Rather than lose the rapport which Jill and I were beginning to develop, I decided to schedule a second interview for her early next week.
I tried to comfort her before leading her out of the office. Then I asked her Aunt Anna to step in, because I wanted a word with her. I tried to explain to her what I had discovered so far from Jill's narrative, concerning the roots of her problems. I also cautioned her to treat Jill with kid gloves for the time being, that she has definite problems and must be treated accordingly.
Then I set up the next appointment with Aunt Anna.
INTERVIEW TWO
Jill's aunt made sure that they were punctual for Jill's next session. We left Aunt Anna in the waiting room, and when I had Jill in my office, I noticed that she seemed more relaxed than she had last time. Her aunt must have really followed my instructions.
Rather than get right into the meat of her problem, I asked Jill if she had a nice weekend. She said that she had and gave me a few details. By that time the tape recorder was set up and we were ready to go.
Then I asked Jill to tell me about the part her stepfather had forced her to play.
Well, Doctor, I pleaded with my stepfather not to make me go to that awful party. The afternoon of the party I begged and cried and really carried on, even threatening to run away.
But he just laughed and said he was going to turn me into a woman overnight, and that if I didn't behave myself he'd give me the thrashing of my life. And I guess he knew that I wouldn't run away, that my threat was just a big bluff. We both knew I had no place to go. I had no money and all my relatives lived far away.
I spent all that afternoon in my room, crying and wondering if I would be whipped like the women I had seen that one time. I could just picture myself naked, bent over a chair or something while one of those sick people striped my poor backside with a strap.
About seven o'clock that night I could hear the guests beginning to arrive. My stepfather hadn't told me anything about the party, so I had no idea how many people he had invited-how many would get to see me naked and beaten. But I just knew there'd be a whole lot of sick people in attendance.
Well, it got to be almost eight thirty and I was still in my room, lying on my bed and trying to think of some way out of this mess. I could hear the guests laughing downstairs. Just the sound of their cruel laughter was turning my stomach. I strained my ears and tried to catch some of the conversation. They all seemed to be having a good time and I just knew they were talking about me.
Then, I guess it was around nine, I heard my stepfather start up the stairs. I knew it was him because I had heard him say very loudly to the others that he was going to get "the surprise of the evening." I realized then that he hadn't told his guests about me.
He barged into my room and came right to the bed. He told me it was time for my "grand entrance" and then yanked me up and off the bed and started to pull me out of the room. I tried to break free, but he was too strong. And when he got tired of struggling with me he reached back and slapped me across the face.
I let out a shriek of pain and fell to the floor. He grabbed me by the hair and pulled me back up, telling me in an angry whisper that unless I went quietly with him he'd bring all his guests up to my room and have them whip me bloody.
I was tempted to try another escape, even though I knew I had no place to go. My bedroom was on the third floor and I couldn't possibly jump out the window. And to get to the front door I'd have to get passed all the people downstairs. I knew one of them would grab me as soon as I got downstairs.
So I just stood there, trembling like a leaf. Martin gave me his handkerchief and told me to dry my eyes. I don't know why he thought it was important, but it was obvious that he You know, make a nice appearance. I didn't care how I looked. And it didn't make any sense why he wanted to show me off. He wanted to be proud of me and yet he was going to allow his friends to beat me up.
Anyway, I returned his handkerchief and he took me roughly by the arm. The next thing I knew, I was walking down the stairs with him, hearing his friends describe me in complimentary terms. But the words they used were ugly and disgusting, Doctor.
One man called me "a classy little cunt" and another said that I was a "sweet-looking piece of pussy." A very pretty redhead looked me up and down and said she wanted to "suck on her tasty twat all night." And a big, fat man with no hair told the others he intended to spank my bottom until it burned. Then he was going to "shove his big banana up this little broad's asshole!" It was horrible the way they were talking about me. Like I was just a plaything to them.
Well, not much happened for a while. Martin told me to mingle with his friends and to make myself available. I was so scared and nervous that I could had peed in my pants, but I knew that if I started crying or made a scene things would be much worse. My stepfather would probably have set all his friends on me at once.
I tried to close my ears to the awful things those people were saying about me, and to avoid heir grabbing hands. The women were no better than the men, either. They were all pawing me, feeling me up and making me feel so awfully cheap.
These were what you would call the 'beautiful people,' I guess. I mean, they were all supposedly intelligent and very attractive. But their mouths and thoughts were filthy, that's for sure. I wanted to kill every last one of them.
They took turns fondling me, pushing me around the room like I was some kind of toy. I was the center of attraction, and while they laughed and continued to drink they made sure I didn't forget it. Every time I turned around someone was shoving a hand up under my skirt and rubbing my pantied-crotch.
By his time my drunk stepfather announced it was time for everybody to undress. I was sprawled on one of the two large sofas in the room trying to button my blouse and pull down my skirt at the same time. A woman of about forty was kissing me on the face while her husband tried to get my panties off.
Well, it wasn't long before everybody but me was naked. I guess there were about forty people in the huge living room and now not one had any clothes on. Martin's friends gathered around when he told me to strip and show them my 'great little body.' I just stayed where I was and got all red in the face.
But a few minutes later I was standing in he center of the room, my face still beet red as I very slowly took off my clothes. I never felt more ashamed in my whole life! No one but my mother had ever seen me in the nude and now forty strangers were watching me undress and were planning my humiliation.
Each time I removed an article of clothing there were cheers and loud applause. And soon I was standing there wearing only a sheer pair of panties, my eyes shut tight as I tried to blot out their ugly grins and leering looks.
One of the men, a tall, skinny guy with a lot of hair and a mustache, approached me and asked if I was a virgin. I didn't answer him at first, so he grabbed me between the legs and squeezed very hard. My eyes shot open and cried out. As he rubbed my crotch, he asked me if I was pure. When I said I had never been touched, he smiled and said I wasn't too young to be introduced to a 'stiff prick.' Then he turned to the others and asked them if they wanted to see an 'unused pussy.' They all shouted their approval when he started peeling my panties down.
No one touched me that way, Doctor. I mean, I wasn't penetrated by a man's thing. Oh, they talked a lot and bragged about how they were going to do terrible things to me, but nothing ever came of it, thank goodness. A few of the men tried to put their hard penises into me, but I always managed to somehow escape them.
I am still a virgin. It's a miracle, I guess. My stepfather made me attend other parties after that one, but I still managed to preserve my virginity. But what they did to me at these parties was almost as bad as if they had deflowered me.
Every one of these parties, there were seven in all, ended with me a bloody mess. The men and women would take turns whipping each other and me with belts and riding quirts. Strapping each other seemed to give them pleasure, because as soon as they stopped they fell to the floor and made passionate love.
Well, this man removed my panties and tossed them over his shoulder. Now I was really embarrassed. Everyone was staring at the yellow tuft of curly hair, you know, my pussy hair. It seemed they all had an obscene comment to make. A few left the circle and moved in on me.
Before I knew it, their hands were roaming all over my body. One man was stroking my pussy, another was kneading my breasts, and a third was playing with my behind. I jumped and cried out when all of a sudden he plunged a thick finger up into my rectum.
The men laughed at my shriek of surprise and the others watching, howled with glee. They were all enjoying my discomfort and shame, Doctor. I wanted to crawl into a hole and stay there forever.
A few minutes later my stepfather brought out a large box of marijuana cigarettes. You know, pot. He said that a friend of his, a man who works for an airline, had smuggled the cigarettes into this country. Martin said everybody should just help themselves.
So, before long all he guests were smoking pot and drinking liquor and having sex. They forced me to take a few puffs of the cigarette, but I started coughing and choking like crazy. One woman, a busty bleached blonde named Mitzi, said I looked as if I were going to vomit.
That was the end of pot smoking. The others continued to puff away like mad, when they weren't drinking or making love, that is. It was just disgusting, Doctor. The men and women slobbered over one another like animals in heat.
Then, at last, they got around to the whipping part of the party. But first they all wanted to see me spanked. I figured my stepfather would do the honors because I remembered how much he enjoyed spanking my fanny. He never let my mother punish me, explaining to her that the man in the family was the one who should chastise the child.
But I knew he didn't really believe that. He just liked the idea of me pulling down my panties and draping myself over his lap for a spanking. Funny, but it didn't dawn on me until that night that my stepfather was a sadist.
Well, anyway, my stepfather didn't spank me this time. That big fat balding man, the one I mentioned earlier, was the first to lay a hard hand on my backside. He settled himself into one of those modern swivel chairs and beckoned me with his stubby forefinger. Once again the others gathered around to view my humiliation.
I knew I had no choice in the matter, so with head bowed I moved slowly toward the fat man. Along the way I was pinched and prodded, and I compared it to walking the gauntlet.
It wasn't long before I was draped over his large lap, my naked fanny quivering in anticipation of that first brutal blow. I closed my eyes and bit down on my lower lip, knowing that any second I'd feel the fat man's hard hand crashing against my poor behind.
Well, he didn't waste any time. He started right in whacking away, pressing down on he small of my back with one hand while beating on my trembling bottom with the other. I started to cry and large tears began trickling down my cheeks. The blood began rushing to my head.
But the more I cried and groaned the harder he hit. Again and again he smacked my seat, whipping his heavy hand across one cheek and then the other. He said very loudly that if he had a little girl at home he'd spank her every day and twice on Sunday.
The others thought this very funny, and they encouraged the fat man to pound my posterior. He was hurting me horribly, but what bothered me even more was the thought that my nightmare had really just begun. After the hand spanking they would bring out the whips.
Well, it seemed like an eternity before the fat man finally finished with my fiery rear end. Everyone laughed when he gave me a strong shove and I rolled off his large lap and onto the floor. I landed with a thud and let out a loud groan. But I was only allowed to rest for a few seconds.
A woman of about thirty pulled me to my feet and dragged me with her over to one of the sofas. Before I could even voice a meek protest, I was being flung over her lap and positioned for another fanny warming.
The woman said she wanted to see what it was like spanking a girl, since she only had a son. I guess she thought there might be a difference between spanking a boy and spanking a girl.
The others didn't bother to watch this time. Seeing me get my bottom burned had apparently stimulated them sexually, because they began to pair off once again. Before long the large living room was swimming in sex. Giggling females and grunting males were coupling all over the place; on the floor, on the sofa, on tables, everywhere.
Everyone was moaning and groaning and writhing in sexual passion. And there I was in the midst of it all, crying my eyes out as this awful woman pummeled my posterior with obvious relish. She used both her hands, beating on my burning fanny as if it were a bongo drum. And like the fat man, she ignored my whimpering sobs completely.
I didn't know where my stepfather was at the moment, nor did I care. I figured he was probably getting a blow-job, because I had heard him tell a very pretty brunette that he expected her to "chew on my balls like a good little cocksucker." While I was being brutally spanked, I tried to think of some way to get even with Martin. But I knew I was helpless and would have to endure whatever these perverts cared to dish out.
"Jill, you're doing very well," I interrupted, "but I'm afraid I'll have to terminate this session. I see we've just about run out of time."
"Oh, all right, Doctor. I'm trying to remember everything that happened and not leave anything out. I know it's important that I tell you everything. I'm trying to remember everything that happened and not leave anything out. I know it's important that I tell you everything. I'm kind of glad to get this off my chest. I just couldn't bring myself to confide in Aunt Anna."
"I can understand that, Jill. And that's what I'm here for, to listen and to try to be of help."
"Do you think you can make me stop dreaming about my stepfather? Everytime I start thinking about him and what he did to me I seem to just fall apart. I get moody and sometimes throw a tantrum. It's not right, I know. But I can't help myself. And I don't want to be a burden to my aunt."
I smiled. "I'm sure your aunt doesn't consider you a burden, Jill. She wants to help as much as I do. That's why she brought you to my office. She is hoping I can help you he same way I helped her."
"I know that. I don't know what I would have done without Aunt Anna."
"It's not like having your own mother, I know, but we can't rule out the possibility that someday the two of you will be reunited. Until then, you're going to have to continue to grow as a person and try to put all this unpleasantness behind you. It won't be easy, Jill, but you must not continue to live in the past."
"I realize that."
"You're very young with your whole life ahead of you. There will be many wonderful times in your life, I'm sure, and you can't afford to miss any of them simply because you allow a painful memory to dominate your every waking moment. I think what you must do is put everything in perspective, Jill. Do you understand what I'm talking about?"
"Yes, I do. And I'm going to try very hard, believe me. I know it would be tragic if I allowed my stepfather to destroy my life from his grave."
"That's just what I mean, Jill." Then I added, "Okay, we're through for today. On your way out you can ask your aunt to step in. I want to have a few words with her before you leave. She'll also set your next appointment up, okay?"
"Sure, Doctor."
INTERVIEW THREE
From the way things started, Jill's third interview promised to be much the same as the other two. We started off by chatting about nothing in particular, but then I directed the conversation back into what was important for her therapy. I asked her to complete her account of that first orgy with her stepfather.
What follows is an exact transcript of Jill's narrative:
Well, after that woman spanked the daylights out of me I was handed over to another guest. I was spanked for a third time by a very muscular man, who I learned later was a pretty famous football player.
But it was a little different this time. He had me stand before him and hold his penis while he slapped me around. He hit me all over, swatting me on my fanny, on my thighs, on my breasts. And a few times he slapped me between the legs.
When he got tired of pummeling my body, he turned me around and forced me to bend over. I placed my hands on my knees for support, and soon felt his hands caressing my abused flesh. Then I felt a finger at my asshole.
The next thing I knew that man was drilling that thick digit into my behind. I whimpered in shame and asked him to stop. But he just said he was preparing the way. And with that he plunged a second large finger into my fanny.
Now he began to saw the fingers in and out of my rectum, explaining with a lewd smile how once I learned to relax my sphincter muscles I'd be able to take his big bone easily into my bottom. Again I begged him to remove his thick fingers from my ass, fearing that one ferocious lunge of his hard penis would rip my rectum to pieces.
After a while the man popped his fingers from my behind. But then I felt the head of his organ nudging my anus, straining against the small rear opening. I cried out in fear and tried to break away, but he grabbed a handful of my hair and pulled me back into position.
Sobbing like a baby, I awaited that first tearing thrust of his big organ up into my narrow rectum. But as it turned out, this was to be one of those close calls I was telling you about.
Before this famous athlete could penetrate my bottom, another man was pulling me away and leading me toward one of those hard horses, you know, the kind the gymnasts use. Someone had pulled it into the center of the room, and now I was being draped over it. I had been spared the savage sodomizing, but now I wondered what was coming next.
I didn't wait too long to find out. My stepfather moved around the leather horse so that I was looking down at his organ. Then he announced to the others that they were going to play a game.
Everybody in the room would get to whip me ten times with the riding quirt he was holding. Then, after the person had whipped my bottom, he or she would step around in front of the horse so that I could eat some 'pussy and prick.' He explained that while one person was striking my seat, another would be enjoying my mouth.
All the naked hedonists thought this was a great idea. They lined up quickly, all eager to be among he first to thrash my tail and feel my lips on their genitals. I loathed the idea of being brutally whipped again and having to smell and lick another's sex, but I was thankful that so far I still had my virginity.
Anyway, the first to use the quirt on my painfully sore behind was a female named, Barb. She was a tall brunette I had seen earlier. She was sucking a man's anus. I trembled in expectation, then let out a scream of pain when she brought the quirt down across my posterior.
Everyone laughed at my discomfort and shouted encouragement. Spurred on by their cheers and my groans, she began to let me have it with vengeance.
I emitted a bestial cry, only to have it smothered quickly by my stepfather's erect penis. Having jammed it into my mouth, he now told me to start sucking. I gagged and tried frantically to dislodge the thick, hard organ by jerking my head to and fro.
Martin smacked me on the side of the head and told me to behave. He said he'd increase the number of times I was to be hit if I didn't stop. I had figured out that since there were approximately forty people, I'd be whipped four hundred times. I couldn't bear the thought of being struck eight hundred times by the quirt.
So although I was almost numb, I sucked the smelly genitals as they paraded passed my mouth. The guests would hit me, then step around the horse, jerk my head up and shove it down over their stinking sex organs.
It went on and on. And at one point I got sick to my stomach. But even that didn't deter them. They just cleaned me up, let me rest for a few minutes and started over.
Draped as I was over the gym horse, I could look back between my legs and see the blood trickling down. I knew my poor bottom was a bloody mess. It felt raw and open and it burned something fierce, as if I had deliberately sat on a hot stove.
I could picture what my flaming behind looked like-just a rounded mass of striped flesh, blood oozing out. They were tearing my aching fanny to shreds, I thought, each mind-numbing crack of the quirt across my bottom sending a bolt of agony flashing to my brain.
Time and again that evil quirt swished through the air and landed with a sickening thud against my bloodied behind. I wanted so much to yell my head off. Every time I opened my mouth a cock or pussy was being shoved in.
Tears of intense pain and utter humiliation were coursing down my cheeks, wetting my face just as the blood streaming from the deep gashes on my sizzling seat was running down my thighs and wetting my quivering legs.
I can't remember just how long this painful ordeal lasted, Doctor. I think it was about an hour and a half. But it seemed like a small year to me. When the four hundredth blow to my bloodied rear end had been delivered, I was on the verge of passing out. I wanted very much to pass out, thinking that these awful perverts would then leave me alone.
Finally, I was helped off the gym horse and carried over to one of the sofas by the athlete I told you about. Like I said, I was almost unconscious, but I still had enough presence of mind to worry about him making another attempt to stuff his organ in my aching seat.
But as it turned out, he had other plans. He just dumped me into the sofa and took off, bouncing away in search of someone he called, 'my favorite lover of ass-fucking.' That's when I finally did pass out, sprawled there on the sofa like a useless rag doll. The last thing I remember before going unconscious was the football player ramming his big tool up a giggling female's fanny.
The next thing I remember was a woman named Jane slapping my face and telling me to get with it. My eyes blinked open and right away I was reminded of the horrible whipping I had received. The pain at my bottom was so intense I wanted to scream my lungs out. My neck was stiff and every joint in my body ached.
This woman, the one named Jane, sat down next to me on the sofa and started fondling my sore body, running her hands over my things and breasts and cupping my pussy in her palm. She said she had just been sodomized by someone named, David, and that when she became excited again she wanted me to clean her anus with my tongue.
The thought revolted me, and I tried to drag my weary body away from the perverted woman. But I didn't have the strength. The savage whipping had destroyed all my resistance, so with a long, tired groan I fell back into the sofa and allowed Jane to caress me at will.
I tried to focus on some of the sex-mad people in the room. Once again they were screwing one another with a frenzy, their sweaty, naked bodies contorted into all sorts of strange shapes as they humped with joy.
I saw my stepfather shoving his hard penis into a female's mouth, as she knelt before him and stroked his hairy flanks. No sooner had Martin slammed her mouth full of meat than this female was sucking like a fool!
It was sickening sight, but no more sickening than others I saw. In one corner of the room a sex-happy female was servicing two well-built males, groaning like an idiot as they filled her with hard, throbbing tools. They were all standing with the woman sandwiched between the two men.
I had never realized that people could make love in such strange ways. I saw women with women, men loving other men, all kinds of unbelievable connections. Groans and shrieks of pure lust filled the air, no one caring at all who was screwing them or where.
They all seemed insatiable. No sooner had they finished with one partner than they were off searching for another, determined, it seemed, to screw themselves senseless.
And no one bothered to take the time to wash. I mean, a man would ejaculate into another man's ass and then stick his penis into a woman's vagina. And no one seemed to care. Least of all the female whose pussy was being stuffed.
It was a horribly disgusting scene and I was beginning to wish that I was dead. I shut my eyes tight and tried to blot out the sickening sight, but in my mind I could visualize clearly what the lust-crazed people were doing all around me.
Then Jane was telling me that it was time I reamed out her anus with my tongue. I started to protest, knowing for certain that if she forced me to do such a degrading thing I'd vomit. Just the thought of putting my lips on her asshole was turning my stomach.
But she was adamant, threatening me with a cunt-whipping if I didn't obey her. She told me that once in a while, when a woman got smart at one of these parties and refused a sexual act, the other guests would take turns striking her pussy with a leather strap. And if that didn't do the trick, they'd scald her breasts with a hot iron.
I trembled at the thought of my boobs being burned with a hot iron, and when Jane hopped off the sofa I moved into position behind her. With one hand she reached back and pried open her asscheeks, revealing to my gaze the dark, crinkled ring of her anus. I thought I'd be sick on the spot.
Her bottom hole was stained with shit, and there was still a little semen dribbling out of that smelly portal. Jane demanded that I get busy at once, that I sink my tongue into her rectum and scoop out the man's gooey discharge.
Again I began to cry, the tears dripping from my eyes as I inched closer to the woman's backside and moved my mouth to her filthy hole. I forced my tongue between the lips I was instinctively keeping closed and tried not to inhale the foul odor emanating from Jane's recently reamed rectum.
And then I began to comply with her vulgar request, wondering how long it would be before I emptied my stomach again. Closing my eyes, I burrowed my tongue into her foul fanny and proceeded to scoop out the sticky remains of a man's come.
Someone, another female, suddenly slid under Jane's kneeling form and asked Jane to chew on her pussy while I ate. Jane then dropped her head and started eating the other female's pussy, slurping away like a cat who had just been given a bowl of milk.
And that's when I got sick. There wasn't much left in my stomach to heave up since I had vomited earlier, but I coughed and gagged and spit a whole lot. Then Jane got disgusted. Lifting her face from the other woman's genitals, she looked back and said if I couldn't do it right there wasn't any sense in doing it at all.
So I crawled back up onto the sofa, curling up into a little ball as if that would somehow protect me. I felt sick and ashamed. My bottom was a mass of welts and every bone ached. I think that if I'd had a gun I would have shot myself.
Well, I think that's about all there is. It wasn't until around four in the morning that my stepfather's friends started leaving. They had whipped and screwed one another to the point of exhaustion.
My stepfather carried me to my room and put me to bed. He applied a little salve to my aching behind, not that it really mattered to me one way or the other. I just wanted to sleep for a year.
He said that for the most part he was satisfied with my performance at the party, and that I could look forward to another such fun night' two weeks hence. He said a few other things which I can't remember now. Probably because I was about to fall asleep when he said them. Anyway, he finally left my room and my nightmare was over.
Well, even though my stepfather kept me a prisoner at his estate, and forced me to attend those perverted parties, I shouldn't be glad that he's dead. When I heard that his plane had crashed, I wanted to jump for joy. I know that's not right."
"Under the circumstances, Jill, I think the hatred you felt toward your stepfather was justified. In fact, were you to feel kindly toward him after what he put you through, we would be faced with an even larger problem to solve. Love couldn't possibly grow in the climate of immorality and lust he was raising you in."
"No, I guess not. But still-"
"What is of paramount importance is your ability to control these painful memories of your stepfather. It would be foolish of me to suggest that in time you'll forget all about him and the sordid life he forced you to share for a period of time. I'm afraid that for as long as you live you'll be subjected to a sad memory of all this."
"The teachers in school say I have a good memory," Jill said, a rueful smile clouding her pretty face.
"But as I say, what you must do is view this bad experience intelligently and not allow it to challenge the happiness of the future. Your stepfather was a cruel, selfish and egotistical man, one who was apparently willing to sacrifice all in his pursuit of pleasure. But he can no longer hurt you, Jill."
"Yes, I realize that. But whenever I think back on-"
"You must try not to think back. Look toward the future, Jill. Yours is bright with promise, as I said last time. You have youth and intelligence and beauty on your side, three very valuable allies in your quest for lasting happiness. Immerse yourself in plans for the future and spend your time contemplating marriage and children. Or a career, perhaps."
"I'm going to try. I really am."
"That's a good girl," I said, smiling softly. "I think you'll find that in time you no longer think of your stepfather so often. Hell be given the place in your thoughts he deserves and that's a very small place. As you continue to grow, you'll be able to put your relationship with him into its proper perspective."
"You mean I won't hate him?"
"Well, not exactly. But you will realize that although he made you suffer, the experience, awful though it was, has not altered your chances for success in life. As you mature, you'll view the time spent with your stepfather in perhaps a more realistic manner. What he did to you was shameful and loathsome, but you will take comfort in the knowledge that he was unable to destroy your love of life. And, I should add, your interest in sex."
"Oh, I know not all adults are like my stepfather. I know he and his rich friends were very sick people. Can you tell me why they behaved as they did. I mean why they-"
"Why they took such pleasure in tormenting you?"
"Yes, that's what I mean. I can't understand their motivations. These people are attractive and rich and have many material possessions. Why did they have to abuse a child for their kicks!"
"Well, that's a difficult question to answer. Unless I interview each person your stepfather hosted, and got a glimpse of their character and personality, I couldn't do more than give you an educated guess. I think, though, that these 'beautiful people' were suffering from intense boredom. Humiliating you was different. And it provided them with an outlet for their frustrations."
"Uh huh, I think I understand."
"Good. One thing more now before we terminate this interview."
"What's that?"
"I want you to stop feeling guilty about wishing your stepfather dead and the joy you felt when he did die. Feelings like these are perfectly natural. Don't be ashamed of them and don't dwell on them. What's done is done. When you leave my office this afternoon you'll be stepping into a world filled with happiness and sorrow and time spent with your pain. You've already had your share of suffering. Now it's up to you to harvest as much happiness as you possibly can. Bury the past and try to make very waking moment meaningful. At fourteen, you have your whole life ahead of you. Make the most of it, Jill."
"I'll try. And thank you very much."
"Remember, too, if things get out of hand, if, well, you know what I mean, you have my phone number. Just give me a call and I'll arrange for us to have a chat."
Jill smiled. "I'll do that. I'll remember."
And with that, the patient left her chair, moved around the desk, and kissed me on the cheek.
CONCLUSION
I was fully aware, of course, that my advice to Jill was very easy to give and not that easy to take. A less emotionally stable child could have been driven to the brink of insanity by the loathsome relationship pressed upon Jill by her obviously mentally ill stepfather. And even though I considered my young patient more mature than most her age, I could not help but wonder what might have happened had her stepfather lived and continued his subjugating tactics.
The disappearance of Jill's mother remains a mystery to this day. We may never know where she is and why she left. And, of even more interest to Jill, why she decided not to take her daughter with her.
No doubt this is a question Jill would like answered very much, one which gives her more than an occasional moment of self-doubt.
It gives me a great feeling of satisfaction and accomplishment to report that Jill is doing quite well. Her aunt is still her guardian, and Jill is very active in school, both with her studies and extra-curricular activities. Every once in a while I receive a phone call or a letter from her. Evidently she attributes much of her progress to my help and is grateful to me for it. She is quite an intelligent young woman.
CASE HISTORY FOUR
Subject: Mabel D. Age: Fifteen
INTERVIEW ONE
The first time I saw Mabel D., she was only fifteen years old. She was an extremely vibrant young woman; one could just feel her energy when she entered the room.
She had the appearance of a woman twice her age, beauty, poise, and maturity. Her vocabulary and her choice of clothes also added to this effect.
Her long brown hair and dark eyes were quick to react to the things she said and my reactions to them. There was, however, something deeply troubled about her and. it showed occasionally in the peculiar habit she had of making her face into a clown's mask when she was speaking about something particularly troubling.
All in all, Mabel was more perplexing the more I saw her and it was only through hard work that she was able to straighten out the sexual confusion which had fallen around her head like a tangle of vines.
There is no more I can say that would better her own words; here, then is an exact transcript of our first interview.
I was kind of scared to come today, Doctor. My parents don't know I came and if they found out they'd kill me. They think everything is just great. But really I'm all fucked up.
It all started about a year and a half ago, just after I turned fourteen. I don't really know how to tell you all this. I really don't know if I'm sick or anything but I'm kind of embarrassed.
I had just started high school. I'm old for my age and anyway I skipped a grade when I was little. So I started high school earlier than I would have.
But like I look maybe eighteen or nineteen years old. I've got big breasts. I always did, even in fifth grade. You know I was the one in fifth grade who developed before everyone else, so everyone stared at me and made fun.
I couldn't sit in class without feeling that everyone was looking at me. They were too. Well it got worse as I got older. My hips and legs got bigger and pretty soon I was bigger and rounder than most of the teachers.
But it really started when I got to Chordian. That's where I go to school, Chordian High and it's a pretty creepy place. I'm not just saying that because of all the trouble I had, I really mean it.
It was a disappointment. When I came I was expecting things to be great, that I'd learn all kinds of new great things. But it was just a lot of shit. All the dumb teachers were teaching these dumb kids, dumb things. I hate it.
I found out pretty quickly that there weren't many people you could trust. It all just was a big game. As soon as I got there all these heavy guys were trying to make it with me.
You know all the football players and the guys into cars thought I was just neat. Well I mean they thought I was weird because I did good in school and read books. But they thought I was neat because I've got big boobs. That's all they care about so they loved me.
I have to admit I sort of went crazy about it for a little while. Well maybe it was more than a little while. Anyway I liked them thinking I was groovy.
After all those people making fun it was nice to hear those guys whistling at me. I know they were sort of making fun of me at the same time but they all wanted to go out with me and get their hands on me.
They had cars and some of them were into dealing grass and pills. I was very impressed. I was really stupid then, I thought they were groovy riding around in their old cars and stuff.
I was a virgin then. I'd made out at parties and things like that. I let them feel me up out in the bushes behind our house. But I never did anything heavy. I was too pure. But as soon as I got into high school everything changed. It was a whole different scene. The guys are older and they're into different things. They expect a girl to ball and if she doesn't they drop her.
I guess deep down I wanted to do it, so I did. The first time was with this guy who is on the football team. We had gone to the drive-in and he was getting pretty hot and heavy. He had his hands inside my blouse and kept kissing me on the neck.
His whole body was so big that I felt like I was going to be crushed. He kept wrapping his arms around me and hugging me.
I liked to feel his body against me like that but I was a little bit afraid. He had a reputation as one of the real swingers. You know he liked a lot of balling.
He kept tugging at my bra trying to get it off and I didn't want to take it all the way off. There were people all around and I was embarrassed and afraid someone would see.
That kept on for about a half an hour. All the while he was pulling at the top of my stockings. He had his hand up under my skirt and was trying to pull my underpants down. But I had my legs clamped together and all he could was wiggle his fingers at my pussy.
He kept panting and trying to force my legs apart. But I'm pretty strong for a girl and he couldn't get anywhere. His face was red and I could feel the bulge under his pants in his crotch.
When the first feature was over I went to get something to drink. He wanted to stay in the car so I went alone. When I got back he had disconnected the speaker from the car and as soon as I got in he took off.
I asked him where we were going but he'd only tell me that I'd find out when we got there. I was so scared that I was shaking. But he wouldn't let me get out.
In a little while he pulled off the highway and turned up a small dirt road into the hills. It was very bumpy and I remember feeling myself sway back and forth as the car rocked over the ruts.
He drove too fast and it was pitch dark on either side of the road. Suddenly there was another dirt path cutting straight across the one we were on and he took a sharp left onto it.
That road was hardly more than a track through the woods. It was bumpy and dipped all the way until we got to this clearing. He stopped the car and turned off the engine. Before I could run or anything he grabbed me and pulled open my blouse.
He yanked it up out of my skirt and made me open the buttons and then he reached around and took off my bra. I tried to push him away but he was too strong. I just pounded on his chest and nothing happened. He pulled the bra open in back and the straps slid off my shoulders. I could feel my breasts loose under there and he reached his hand under there to feel
I remember his fingers were ice-cold when they touched my nipples. He squeezed really hard and I moaned. I was begging him to stop but he wouldn't. I pleaded and he just laughed.
All the while he was tweaking my tit and it was getting harder and harder. I had never felt that kind of thing before. Then he pulled down his fly and yanked out his penis.
I had never seen a hard one like that before! It was so long and when he made me touch it it was so hard. He put my hand down on his prick and made me squeeze it. He rubbed my hand up and down the stiff penis and then into his pants.
It was warm in there. I could feel his balls and they were strange, all damp and moving in those little sacs. They made me feel sick.
But his cock made me all goose-pimply. I wanted to feel it more and more. I explored the whole thing with my hand and felt the tip smooth and hard and the knobby shaft bulging with blood vessels.
He had his hands on my tits pulling there as I went up and down on his cock. I forgot about being afraid. Faster and faster he kept twirling his fingers around on my tits. It was different from when I did it at parties. It was just kid stuff then. But I knew he wanted more than that.
He pulled and pushed at them until they were sore and my shirt and bra were all rumpled. His both hands were pulling there and I could feel my tits sort of swelling and getting all hot and cold.
Then he grabbed my head. He got a hold of my hair right down by the roots and pulled me over and down on his cock.
He just shoved my mouth down at the prick and made me suck him. It caught me by surprise and I couldn't keep him out. His cock was large and it slid all the way to the back of my throat.
It was such a shock, Doctor. I had never even seen a stiff cock before that. Once I saw my brother's but that was an accident and it wasn't hard then. But his was hard in the car. I could feel the blood pounding in it as I sucked. I liked it too.
His hands were pulling my tits so hard that I thought I was going to cry. But my mouth was on his cock and I just kept sucking. He pushed me down all the way and I felt his prick spurting over and over in my mouth.
It was awful the way it pounded up. I just couldn't keep it out. Harder and harder he jammed it into me and he was bucking and moaning underneath.
Harder and harder he shot his come into my mouth and made me swallow it. I couldn't breath and he was bellowing like a bull. I felt a real funny kind of tingle in my tits as he pulled the nipples until they were rock hard.
When he was done he just lay with his head on the back of the seat and his mouth open. I sat up and wiped my mouth. His come tasted terrible and I wanted something to drink.
The only thing there was some scotch in the glove compartment. It tasted almost as bad as his load but I drank it and it burned all the way down.
I tried to cover up, but before I could button up all the way he was all over me. He didn't even bother opening my blouse. He just pulled my skirt down and ran his fingers under the band of my panties.
I was wet already. I could feel his fingers touch my pussy. The lips were wet and my hair was all dripping with my juice. He jammed his finger straight up me and started pumping.
Over and over he pushed and I started to come. I had never had anyone do that to me. I guess I was ready for it because in about a minute I was coming harder and harder.
He shoved and poked brutally, running his finger like a file in and out of my hole. The bottom of it went up and down over my clit and that made me come.
He had my panties half off. I could feel them pull against my thighs as I tried to push him away. He was taking advantage of me and I didn't like that.
But then he bent his mouth down to my crotch and put his mouth there. It was something I had always heard about and thought was awful. But when he did it in the car there with no one else around, it felt nice.
He flicked his tongue against my clitoris and I felt all wet and hot inside. Every time he did something like that it felt better and better. He poked his fingers in and out of my hole there.
Every time he did I sort of quivered. My belly went up and down real fast and I lost my breath. He just kept jamming in and out until I started screaming.
I don't know how it started. Just all at once I felt so much I just had to scream. One minute I was just moaning and the next it was all running together and I was screaming at the top of my lungs. I think I was screaming for him to do it more.
I know! I was yelling for him to do it HARDER. At the top of my lungs I was yelling "harder." He did it too. Harder and harder he pushed his head down into my crotch. He had one hand under my ass pulling at the lips of my pussy from underneath. The other hand he had on my boobs stroking them.
That's the first time I came. I had heard about it from my girlfriends. We used to talk about it a lot in school. But I don't think any of them had ever had it because they couldn't really describe it.
But it's one thing to describe it and talk about it and another to have it happen. You know, it just burns all through you and makes you want to hug everything in sight. After that it wasn't hard for him to get my skirt and panties off. As a matter of fact I helped him do it.
We threw them in the back seat and peeled off my blouse and bra. It was cold when I was naked in the car. But he had a blanket in the back seat and I climbed back there and got underneath.
He took off his shoes, shirt and pants. It was really tough for him because he was pretty big. Finally he was down to his undershorts and I saw his penis bulging straight out from under them.
It looked larger and stiffer than it had been before. I was amazed that he could get it up again so soon and so hard. He climbed into the back seat and knelt on the floor kissing my breasts with his head under the blanket.
He had one hand under my crotch bending a finger up into my hole.
It was such a delicious finger. I didn't think about whether I was doing the right thing. All I cared about was his hard cock.
Then all of a sudden he was on top of me. He had his arms around my ass and he was sliding me under him on the seat. My legs were up in the air and he was between them. I spread wider and it felt so good to have him ram into me.
Faster and harder he moved between my legs. Even his fingers on my breasts were making me come. Everything he did made me shake all over.
In and out he moved making the lips of my cunt swell and get more and more sensitive. He had his fingers around his cock as he poked it in and out.
He ran his hand against my clitoris and I exploded. I was screaming again. I really just let go and let him to whatever he wanted. He had his finger jammed under my ass and I felt one of them pushing at my asshole.
His thick finger pressed and I rolled under him not caring what he did as long as he excited ma He put his finger in my mouth and I wet all over it. Then he pulled it out dripping and plunged it high up into my asshole.
That really did it, Doctor. I came all through my middle against his prick and his finger. Bucking and twisting I couldn't fight it. I didn't want to fight it.
His other hand was on my breast and I was coming there too when he shot his creamy stuff up into me. Deeper and deeper he jammed his prick into me even while he was coming.
I could feel him coming! Way up inside me I felt his spurting cock and I came harder at the thought of it. It was so nice to feel. The only thing that mattered in the whole world was that thing.
I never felt anything that important in my whole life. Nothing, not even school or my parents could do it like that. But his penis just kept sliding in and out with a harder beat.
His finger up my asshole twisted and he bent it this way and that tearing at my insides. It seemed to go on forever. His balls must have been loaded because he just kept coming and coming until I was shrieking and bucking against him.
It didn't matter at all that he was hurting my let against the seat. The car was too small for us but I didn't care. I just pumped my ass back and forth at him until I came one last wave and fell back limp.
I couldn't even talk. It was so much that the whole way back I just sat wrapped up in the blanket in the back. It was a real trip trying to get my clothes back on. I did but they were all lopsided.
They made me look funny, all disheveled and ripped up. I couldn't talk or anything, I was so fucked up.
It was like it had blown my mind. I wanted to say something but I couldn't. It had been the most wonderful thing I had ever felt. It had ripped through me like a wave. I just can't tell you how it felt to just let him jam his prick into me like that.
Over and over it pounded up into me making me shiver and scream like I'd be ashamed to do anywhere else. But it scared me. I don't know why but all the way back with him I felt cold and all weird like I wanted to cry.
When I got home I had to sneak inside so no one would see me looking like that. It made me feel creepy sneaking around like that but if my mother had seen me she would have known that something was up.
Anyway I didn't even want to talk to him after that in school. For about a week he was chasing me around trying to get me to talk to him but I wouldn't. I used all sorts of tricks to throw him off and finally he got so angry that he started spreading nasty stories about me.
I was miserable, and I had no one I could talk to about it. I was afraid to tell any of my friends because I didn't have any I trusted enough that they wouldn't blab it all around. I couldn't tell my mother because she would just die if she knew I was fucking around.
So I was miserable and I cried all the time. Whenever I was alone it would just start all by itself. For no reason at all I would be taking a walk and I would just start bawling for no reason.
I don't know what to do about it. That's not even that half of what happened. It's just like one big long nightmare and I don't know when I'm going to wake up from it.
"Okay, Mabel, but I'm sorry that our time is up for today. You can tell me more about this when you return. Just remember until then that sex is not unnatural or dirty. If you keep that in mind, you may be able to get over this unfortunate experience and keep your mind on more important things like your school work."
"I'll try," she said as she got up to leave. She smiled over her shoulder when she reached the door, and I had to hold myself strong in order not to get emotionally involved in this lovely young girls problem.
INTERVIEW TWO
Much to my chagrin and to Mabel's handicap, she did not come in for the next appointment for quite some time. To be exact I believe that it was nearly three months later and in that time she had tried to run away from home. In the ensuing commotion I found that her mother learned of her visit to me and insisted that she return. The shock of her mother insisting she come back and see me plus other factors which will become apparent in the transcript of the next interview must have wrought great changes in her thinking.
Here then is the transcript of that interview just as she gave it in my office.
I'm sorry I didn't come back to see you last time. I wanted to really. After I left your office I felt a lot better. It lasted for a couple of days but then it got worse. It got much worse.
My mother really started getting on my back about everything. She started nagging me and criticizing everything I did. I couldn't stand it.
It got worse and worse until I just couldn't keep my mouth shut enough. We got into a fight and she told me that she was sick of seeing me around acting the way I was. I told her that if she didn't like me around that I could fix that.
She told me to go right ahead, that it would probably save her from a heart attack. I started crying and ran out of the room. A little while later my father came home and they went out together, some stupid party or something.
I stuffed some clothes and pictures into a knapsack and left. I left them a note telling that I was running away. I guess I was stupid to do that. I should have known the first thing my parents would do when they found the note would be to call the police. They have great faith in the police.
Anyway I started hitching. At first it was cool. I got a couple of rides from kids and people like that. But when it got to be late at night I was scared. I didn't know where I was going.
I thought maybe I would go visit my cousin in Oregon. We're pretty tight. But I really didn't know if that was such a good idea. I couldn't decide.
Anyway I was all alone at the gas station. It was closed and this guy pulled in to pick me up. He must have been thirty. I don't know, it was dark and I couldn't tell.
He had a sports jacket on and looked nice enough. I got in and he asked me where I was going. I told him that I wasn't sure and he looked at me funny. Then he laughed a little and said that he would be glad to take me anywhere. I didn't know what to say.
We were driving along for a while and he started talking about being married and stuff. He didn't have a wedding ring on and he told me he and his wife were divorced. He got angry and was talking about how women all are out to suck your blood.
He got so angry that I got scared. I don't like it when people are that angry. He was going on like that for a long time. Then I guess maybe he saw that I was getting scared.
Suddenly he just stopped and said he was sorry he had gotten so worked up. He told me that not all women were like that. Some, he said, were very nice.
He told me he thought that I was a nice girl who wouldn't be that kind when I got married. He said that the man who landed me would be really lucky.
He started telling me all my good points. He went from the tip of my head down and it got sort of creepy when he was talking about my body and stuff he had never seen.
He told me my lips looked sensual, that they curved full and wet as if they wanted to kiss a man's genitals. He said lots of things like that. He told me my breasts were like luscious pillows for a man to rest his head.
He told me my legs were long and beautiful. He asked me to spread them a little and like an idiot I did. He touched the inside of my thighs while he was driving, just like a doctor. Then he told me that he had been right the first time he had seen me, that I had thighs which were hard and sexy.
His hands kept moving on the steering wheel as he talked. I couldn't take my eyes off his fingers. The backs of them were covered with black hair.
His mouth looked all funny in the light of the cars coming towards us. He licked his lips and was talking real low so I could barely hear him.
As he drove he slid his arm casually back over the seat toward me. I watched it. I couldn't take my eyes off it until it was touching my shoulder. I was frozen with fear and I don't know what.
It moved down my jacket and he was rubbing my breasts. It felt so weird just sitting there doing nothing and letting him do that to me.
There wasn't any other sound in the car but the tires humming on the road and his breathing. Slowly he moved over my tit and then down my belly until his hand was resting on my thigh.
He rubbed there for a moment and then pushed it into my crotch. My jeans were very old and worn and you could feel everything through them.
He rubbed the back of his hand onto my pussy and I just sat there cold as stone and feeling sick. Luckily he started talking. I remember what he said too.
"You want to make some money before I let you off?" he said. That broke the spell. Suddenly I was so pissed off I almost screamed.
I grabbed his hand out of my crotch and threw it at the wheel. He was so surprised it banged on the wheel as if it were dead.
"Hey, what's the matter?" he said looking angry and confused. "I won't ask you to do anything disgusting. All I want is a little fun. You do it for free anyway, I can tell."
"Get you're filthy hands off me," I screamed at him. "Just let me off here. Right now!" I never yelled at anyone before like that. I was so pissed off.
He let me off in the middle of nowhere. It took me until the morning to get another ride. It was terrible. I was trembling all night half because I was scared and half from yelling that way at the guy.
I guess I did that finally because I wanted to do it before but never did. The summer before last I was hitching with a girlfriend of mine up at my family's summer place.
We rented a cabin every year by Squaw Lake up in the Sierra's. It's beautiful up there, but that's not what I want to tell you about.
That summer I had been getting a lot of comments from guys all over the place. I had just turned fourteen and I guess I had developed a whole lot over the summer. I had all old bathing suits which were too small for me. That didn't help any.
One day my friend and I decided to walk to town. It wasn't too hot and it was only a couple of miles. We had been swimming so we put on T-shirts over our suits and took some money with us.
When we got to town my friend met this guy who lived on the opposite side of town from us and she decided to go visit with him.
She went off with him and I started walking home. About halfway I decided it was too hot for the shirt and I took it off.
The sun was warm by then and it felt good on my shoulder. I rolled the straps of my bikini off my shoulder so it just hung around my breasts.
The whole thing was too small to begin with and rolled down like that you could see almost everything. But it felt so nice in the sun and breeze that I didn't care and besides, I was pretty naive.
After a few minutes pickup came by and. stopped. There was this young guy driving. He looked kind of cute and he offered me a lift. I didn't really want the ride that much but he looked sort of good-looking.
He was tall and had a beard. He looked like a life guard because he had his shirt off and I could see he was tan and had muscles.
I got in the pickup truck and he took off. I was sitting there and we were talking when all of a sudden he turned off the road and headed up the mountain on this dirt path. He said he had to go pick something up and I was too embarrassed to ask him to let me out. I figured I had to go with him not to be rude.
He pulled up in front of this cabin and suggested I come inside and have something to drink. I didn't want to offend him and besides I still thought he was cute. I couldn't help but notice his long legs and the way he moved so smooth.
As soon as we got inside he turned and grabbed me. Just like that he had his hands on my bathing suit and was pulling it off.
He was kissing me and I was all confused. His lips really turned me on. They were hot and felt so nice. But he kept pulling at my suit until I was standing there without my top.
He put his mouth all over the tip of my breasts, sucking them. I liked the way it felt. His hands were so strong. I wanted to just let him do what he wanted. But something in me didn't like the way he just pulled me around and did anything he pleased.
He shoved his hand down into my bottoms and felt the wet crack. Sometimes when I walk naked or in a skimpy bathing suit I feel so sexy that I have all these fantasies.
It's funny. One of the fantasies is that a cute boy will come along and pick me up. I was even having that fantasy that day when I was walking. I was sort of hoping and when that happens I get so horny my lips down there get wet.
I guess he felt that because he made a low hungry sound in his throat as his finger touched me there. He pressed all the way around to my asshole before drawing back up to my vagina and sticking his fingers inside.
I love it when boys do that. The little fluttery feeling in my stomach when they push in and out really makes me go crazy. I could just die.
That's what happened with him. He stroked up and down in my crotch and I melted against him. I threw my arms around him and pulled him close to me. He rubbed his naked chest on my nipples and I felt a tingle spreading down from them.
He bent down and before I knew it had picked me up and was carrying me into the bedroom. There was a mattress on the floor and he put me down and slipped off my bikini bottoms.
In a second he had his clothes off too. Under his shorts his penis hung long and smooth. I had never seen an uncircumcised penis before and it looked strange.
There was a little flap of skin hanging way down at the tip and I reached out to touch it. He laughed and bent down and bit my thigh.
By that time I didn't care that he had tricked me to come up there with him. I just liked what he was doing.
Over and over he nibbled and licked on my leg. It felt so good what he was doing. His fingers fluttered up real close to my crack but he kept teasing me and wouldn't touch it again.
Harder and harder I pulled at his cock. It got harder with every stroke, making him sigh and bite me. I moved the foreskin over the tip and drew it back from the tip of his dick.
I loved to play with it. It was so strange to me and it really turned me on. Then he squatted over me and made me lick his balls hard.
They tasted randy and the acrid smell made my whole body just move a little bit freer. His fingers were in my pussy and he pushed into me as I licked his scrotum all over.
I put his balls in my mouth one at a time and washed them all over with my tongue. He was moaning harder and harder. Every time he poked his finger up my slit I bit down a little bit on his penis.
I moved up and down in my mouth and I moved my tongue over it as if it were ice cream. I loved to feel the way it moved in my mouth.
I loved the feel of his long hard body on top of me. I had his ass in my fingers feeling the muscles move and tense as his weight shifted on top of me. His belly was hard and nice to touch as he rocked back and forth.
I slipped his balls out of my mouth and put the tip of his cock in. He pushed forward and my top teeth scraped along the upper surface of his penis.
He moaned and fell forward, his cock in my face. It was warm and nice with his crotch in my face. He pumped into me until I had his whole hard dick in my face.
He swiveled around quickly without taking his penis out of my mouth. I wouldn't have let him. I was going to town on it and I didn't want it to end.
Then he had his face in my crotch. His chin was smooth on my love lips. He had his hands pulling my hairy swelling things all apart.
I'll tell you a secret. I never had done that before. I was kind of dumb and I never knew what sixty-nining was. Even after I had done it with him I still didn't know that was what it was called.
Every second his tongue licked in and out of my slit was heaven. He lapped and blew hot in there and I pressed my hips up at him. It was such a delicious feeling to wiggle my ass in his face and have him like it!
He sucked deep into my hole and I felt his tongue like a soft cock swirling around the hole. I tightened the muscles and squeezed him. He pushed harder and his tongue was all the way inside. I never thought a tongue could be that long. It seemed to go to the very back of my vagina and the way it wiggled made me wiggle with it.
Faster and faster I pumped up at him and then he put his teeth into my little lips. He nibbled and bit like a fish and I moved from side to side as if I were swimming.
He yanked his tongue out of my hole with a slurp and put his mouth just around my clitoris. I have a big one. When it's stiff it gets longer than an inch.
The skin around it is really sensitive but what I like most of all is when a guy rubs it between his fingers like he's rolling clay. You know how you roll clay or a cigarette between your fingers. Well when he does that to me I go nuts.
I start yelling and crying. I bite and kick. I could do almost anything. That's just what he did. He pulled it out long and hard and then started rolling it back and forth.
I started coming then as soon as he did that. Harder and harder he did it. He could tell I was coming by the way I was moaning and shaking.
I had my legs wrapped around his head. I was on my side and his head was leaning on one of my thighs. I squeezed his head there and he pushed hard and nipped my clit with his teeth.
That did it. I came hard and fast and he kept biting, each nip a little harder than the other until I was coming in a blinding passion.
He kept sucking as I sucked on him. But he didn't come even though I nibbled and chewed until I thought his penis would fall off.
I kept coming. I guess it was like a flood gate opening up. It was the first time I had come like that, over and over again. I had never had anyone down there licking me, trying to turn me on.
That went on forever. I was moaning and caressing his back, holding his ass in my fingers tight. I wet my finger and jammed it up his asshole. He shivered and made a funny little noise.
I felt his hole smooth and wet. He bucked with his cock in my mouth and I pushed my finger up his rear hole until I felt the hard glands way back inside.
He quivered as I moved the tip of my finger against them and made him ache harder. His whole body was rigid with lust but still he humped his hips back and forth in my grasp.
His mouth on my crotch never stopped sucking and chewing as we both writhed together. He shouted and moved as if he were coming but nothing came out. Harder and more savagely than any other guy I have been with he bucked at my mouth.
I was sure he was going to shoot any second and I was ready and waiting.
But he only groaned harder and chewed into my vagina. I came again and as I was coming he whipped his penis out of my mouth and turned around in an agile little leap.
Coming down with his cock stiff in my crotch we started balling like crazy. In and out he pumped until I was moaning and shivering.
I had waited such a long time that as soon as he was inside I started coming again. But this time it was different. Instead of his tongue I had his cock. It was hard and longer. It moved tense and full into my cunt and I started screaming with joy.
I don't remember what I said. I think it must have been something about how good it felt to have him there. I probably just kept shouting "yes" to make him do it harder.
Cresting faster and faster I could feel myself coming and I wanted him to come with me. Pumping his dick, I felt it slamming in and out of me with a frantic beat.
He was pounding his whole body against mine. In and out he plunged smearing my love juice back and forth in my passage. I loved the pulling on my lips as his prick slammed in each time. It sent shivers through my belly and down my legs.
Then I felt him quiver just before he came. I could tell by the way his breath made harsh little moans in his throat that he was ready to shoot.
My legs were high in back of him and his hips moved on my thighs hot and smooth. He shivered all over and digging his fingers into my tits he came all over the inside of me.
I felt as if a sea had washed inside. It came spurting and pounding up as sweet relief. I pumped madly, my legs moving in a blur and my own fingers dug so deep in his back I left red marks.
In arid out I pumped him and he went berserk. His belly was heaving on mine and our bodies felt as if we had become just one big snake.
Doctor, I can't tell you how good it felt. It made me tingle from my head to my toes. I felt all new inside, like I was all lungs and I had taken a big new deep breath.
Pumping and pumping he came pounding into me until his balls were dry and his cock was only half-hard and still inside me. We lay, wet and tingling all over.
It was so nice to havy him nestled up inside me like that. We lay like that for a long time, his dick growing smaller and then larger again.
He pulled it out and it was semen-covered and shiny. I fondled it in my hands and rubbed it to make it strong again. Then he rolled me over and rubbed the wet tip of his prick against my asshole.
He humped my ass up at him and he grabbed my skin. He sort of pinched it and made me shiver all over. He poked his finger inside and then opened my hole with it.
Against the opened hole he pushed and I felt his cock slide in lusciously. In and out he moved with it pulling the tight muscles lusciously. I had never felt such a ripping sensation.
It seemed to cut me right to the middle. It made my whole guts move and I wanted to feel him jam up inside me.
But I didn't have to ask him to do that. He just ran the tips of his fingers hard at my clit and fell with his whole weight on my body.
Screaming with the ripped-open feeling I came as he crushed me. Up and down, pulling my asshole in and out with each delicious stroke he came.
I couldn't stand the wonderful feeling long. I felt as if my head would shake off from the twisting and bucking. Each slamming thrust made me come higher and higher until I was whining one long wail.
He came hot and tumbling. It felt as if his jism came out hot and thick like lava. It boiled up inside me as I came around his finger and ground my ass into his cock.
After that he took me home. I was really out of it. I couldn't even think of a good excuse to tell my mother when I got home. I think that's the first time she started getting suspicious of me.
I was always the good child. I never did anything wrong and always did well in school. My brother was the one who always screwed up. It was like they had these roles for us.
But it kind of threw a monkey wrench into my mother's well-laid plans to see what a woman I turned into. She tried to ignore it for a couple of years.
It got pretty hard but she tried. You know, she would buy all sorts of clothes that didn't go with my figure. I told you I always had big tits. Then I started having big hips and thighs to. I was really turning into some kind of earth mother.
All the while this was going on my mother was trying to dress me like an under-developed, under-nourished eight-year-old.
But coming home four hours late, when it was almost dark and having this glassy-eyed look must have aroused her suspicions. She was stubborn but she wasn't stupid.
After that she kept a closer watch on me. The rest of the summer she made me tell her exactly where I was going and who I was going with. I had to be in early and all around I couldn't have a very good time.
When we got back home for school I was almost glad. At least at home she couldn't keep such a tight control over me.
That's when all that shit happened with the football player. After that I just sort of went from one bad situation to the next. I don't know what it is about me. Guys think I'm the easiest fuck in the world. They sort of expect it and somehow it comes true!
I wish I didn't have this problem. It really makes it so hard. I can't go out and have a good time. I can't go for a walk without men stopping their cars and trying to pick me up.
I'm afraid a lot of the time and I wish I weren't. It makes it so terrible. I don't mean to start crying like this but it's been bothering me for a long time.
Sometimes I get to feel like I'm some kind of freak. Have other girls my age gotten laid by so many different guys? I think I must have been in bed with at least twenty.
Do all girls have guys try to pick them up all the time? It gets so tiresome. You know, I can't go any place without all these guys hassling me. I wish they would leave me alone.
I'm not saying I don't like sex. I'm not queer or anything. But I don't know why all the men pick on me.
Why can't they pick on someone else for a change?
I don't even get a chance to flirt with a guy. I don't even have a chance to pick one out who I really like. Like the guy who picked me up in the truck. He was my first fuck and he was really good looking.
Maybe if he had given me a lift home and we had gotten to know each other I would have made it with him anyway. But no, I don't have a chance to get to know anyone. It's all boom, boom and into bed!
What kind of memories do I have? I don't have any, it's like the only sex I can get is by being raped. It's so fucked up.
You know what I do now and it's even crazier? I hide. Yeah, I dress in very sloppy, loose clothes and try to comb my hair over my face. I don't want anyone to see me. Then maybe they'll leave me alone.
I don't go out very much at all and I never go out on dates. I can't go places where other kids are and I'm really miserable. But at least no one is raping me or chasing me.
The trouble is I'm so horny sometimes I think I'm going to gnaw through the walls of my room. It's terrible. I sit and watch television or read. Sometimes I can get schoolwork done but most times I spend the study time thinking about sex.
I have these fantasies about having men hidden in my room. When I go to sleep I lie there awake with my eyes closed imagining that he will come in any second.
Hell be handsome and strong. Hell be very smart and nice but not in a nice sort of way. I lie there thinking about him letting the good feeling just flow all through me.
That's the only time I can masturbate. Any other times I try it, I just get depressed. But when I'm thinking of him I can really have a good time.
I can't see his face too well. It's not exactly one boy. I think maybe he is just my ideal. He is all the things I want in a boy and don't seem to be able to find anywhere.
What's the matter with me? I'm pretty and I'm smart. I do well in school. I'm strong and I like to do sports and things like that. I do all the things people say you're supposed to do but I can't find anyone who wants to go with me. All they want to do is lay me.
Sometimes I feel like killing myself. It always turns out so wrong anyway so why bother living? It is so much a waste of time when no one really likes you.
I can't make friends anymore either. All the girls I know in high school are really jealous of me because they think I can have any boy I want. But they don't know that I can't have any boy. Only they can have me.
At this point in the interview, she started weeping uncontrollably. Her whole body looked to be about at the point of collapse.
"It's okay," I said, "everything will work itself out in time. If you just keep at it you'll discover how to get the things you want."
She disagreed violently. "That's not true," she shouted in frustration, shaking her head so that her long, straight hair flew out in all directions. "It'll never happen. My life is over. I'm better off dead!"
I simply and calmly reiterated my feelings as I handed her a box of kleenex. Finally she managed to calm down enough to walk out of the office on her own steam. She even turned at the door and gave me that lovely smile that I had come to look forward to.
CONCLUSION
Although Mabel was very depressed and on the verge of being suicidal when she returned to treatment, through intensive care over the next year she showed remarkable improvement.
Through therapy she was able to come to understand that she was not entirely blameless in her own plight, though by no means was she the primary cause.
Although she found it frustrating when she was physically attracted by boy or man, even though she desired it in her fantasies, she actually desired it in reality as well, judging from her alluring manner of dress and carriage.
She is an intelligent girl, and I feel that she was coming to realize and will come to realize even more fully in the future what exactly is the cause and manifestation of her approach-avoidance conflict with sexual encounters. Part of the cause of this problem was her parents' domination of her, not allowing her to develop her own morals and a sense of independence. She is slowly breaking away from their hold and is getting in touch with herself as an individual.
CASE HISTORY FIVE
Subject: Lynn B. Age: Thirteen
INTERVIEW ONE
When Lynn was brought to me by her parents, she was only thirteen years old. She seemed to be very repressed, and it soon came out that her parents, although young and fairly well-off, were very restrictive and ruled with an iron hand.
For the first session, Lynn arrived with both her parents escorting her. The parents are the ones who introduced Lynn's case to me. They spoke about the particular incident which made them bring her in, an incident about which Lynn would not speak.
In addition, they informed me about Lynn's present state. According to her doctor's recommendations, Lynn was to be handled very carefully, because she was still not entirely rational. Her pediatrician had turned her over to the care of a clinic, and since the team of doctors at the hospital had not been able either through analysis or shock therapy to solicit any explanations or remarks from Lynn concerning what happened, they discharged her back into her parents care. Her parents, who were frantic about her unnatural behavior, brought her to me.
I decided that, while Lynn was definitely a child by legal definition, she was a woman by physical definition. I decided to treat her with conduct of a gentleman to a lady. As it had not been previously tried before, it was worth a chance.
"Good morning," Miss Lynn," I said, rising as she came in.
Startled, she paused at the door. I could see beneath the 'little girl' dress. Already she had breasts that were maturing and her hips spreading. By the time she was eighteen, she should be a well-developed young Madonna.
A tall girl, neither fat nor gawky-unusual at this age-she inclined her head and neck in a graceful, but noncommittal recognition of my address.
Sliding across the floor, she glided into the chair in front of my desk. Sitting down, she folded her hands in her lap and crossed her legs neatly at the ankles. Her calm face and straight-forward eyes did not leave my face.
"Are you happy to be home?" I asked, for openers.
"Yes, thank you."
"You're aware, I'm sure, that the doctors at the hospital have forwarded your records to me."
"Yes."
"In these records it has been stressed that because of your silence, they were not able to help you. Do you want to be helped?"
"There isn't anything you can do for me. What's happened, has happened. It's over with. And, if my parents wouldn't believe me, why should you?"
"Fair, I suppose. Except that I don't know what it is that happened. And I certainly can't know if you don't tell me." I returned her stare.
"You're an adult," she replied, "you'll just tell me I'm lying-just like my parents did."
"Perhaps, although, frankly, I doubt it. As a psychologist, I've heard just about everything in the book. Why not at least give it a try?"
She smiled and changed positions as though getting herself more comfortable.
When I was eleven, Uncle Brandon came back from Australia. I'd never met him, as he'd been gone since before I was born. But he was a wonderful person-really great. He's one of those men who while he doesn't have any children of his own should simply have dozens because he's wonderful with children.
Uncle Brandon and I went everywhere, visiting all the sights. We even went camping, as it was one of his favorite sports.
He wasn't old. I mean, he didn't seem old. I know he was almost as old as mom and dad, but he looked younger, somehow-virile. He was handsome. His blond hair was curly and his chest was simply swamped with masses of blond hairs that almost hid his nipples.
I guess he must have done a lot of manual labor because his shoulders were massive with bulging muscles under rippling tanned skin. He wasn't vain like most of the boys at school. They thought they were big shits. He was a big hunk of man!
Actually, as I found out, he was not my real uncle. I mean, he wasn't a blood relative, just a very old friend of my folks. In fact, because of him, they met. But that's another story.
Anyhow, the second week we were going camping. I was looking forward to it because I'd never been camping before.
We took the old car and after packing all hat equipment, we headed up into the hills. It was just for the weekend, but it was a long one-four days. My folks, being more conservative, I guess, decided to stay home. It was just Uncle Brandon and me.
It took us all day to get into the mountains and it was getting dark when we finally hit on a wonderful place to stay the night. Unpacking, we spread out the tent and the sleeping blanket-somehow, only one had gotten included.
"Okay, baby," Uncle Brandon said, "you trot down and get some water while I get supper going."
"Sure," I replied, picking up both canteens and a saucepan. Sliding and slipping through the twilight, I went to the stream and filled both canteens and the pan. It was a hard job getting all that water back up the hill and I was panting when I reached the top.
Uncle had started a fire and was going through dim maneuvers in the failing light. I couldn't see exactly what he was doing, but something sure smelled good.
"What's for supper?"
"Oh, nothin' special. Just some odds and ends. Ever had sourdough biscuits, before."
"No. What are they?"
"Well, you take and make a mix of dough and add some you saved from the last batch. You let it rise by the fire while the coffee cooks and then you knead it. Like this," he added.
Fascinated, I squatted down and watched him as he pummeled and beat and mashed the white gluey mixture until it looked something like a grayish lump of clay. Taking it in his huge blond-haired hand, he broke it up into smaller portions. Greasing the other pan, he placed the rounded pieces side by side into the bottom of the pan and then, covering it, he put it over the fire.
"Well," he said, dusting his hands against each other, "while that's cooking, let's go find some more firewood. We ain't got enough to keep a kangaroo warm."
He rose and I scrambled to my feet, eagerly trotting after him. Each of us gathered an armload of wood and headed back to the fire. After a couple of trips more, he settled for that and we ate.
"Uncle," I said, when we were almost finished, "where are you going to sleep?"
"Huh?"
"Well, we've only got one sleeping bag. I guess the other one got left behind, or something."
"I knew I forgot something," he said, hitting his knee. "Well, we'll have to make do." Reaching over, he ruffled my hair. "Tell you what, babe, well share-it's warmer that way."
"Love to," I grinned, happy at the thought of being so close to him. He was so big and handsome and well-manly!
After the dishes were washed, and us, too-he insisted-I snuggled down into the warm softness of the sleeping blanket and curl up next to him.
"Good night, baby," he said.
"Good night, Uncle," I replied. Then, as I had always done with my parents, I reached over and kissed him. Unfortunately, or fortunately, I kissed him on the mouth.
I felt his lips moving against mine. The tingles it sent through my body made me feel wonderful. I wiggled closer to him, pressing into his firm muscles and gaining from his warmth. He put his arm around me, pulling me closer to him.
It started out innocently, I suppose. At first it was just a little kiss. I was affectionate and he seemed to be that way, too. And he was so strong. We'd chase each other through the trees in a game of tag. And when he'd catch me, as he always did because he was faster, he'd swing me up into the air and hug and kiss me.
His hands were gentle and made me feel wonderful. My body would begin to tingle and I'd feel sort of 'itchy' all over. When he'd stop, it would go away and I'd feel sort of let down.
On the fourth night, he kissed me in a different manner. I tingled all the way down to my toes. And as I moved against him, his arms encircled me and held me closely into him.
"Darlin' little Babe," he whispered, "precious, wonderful Babe. I love you, honey." His hands stroked my hair and face. I felt myself getting excited in a way I'd never felt before. It was all so strange and new.
I didn't think anything, I simply reacted.
I felt his mouth working against mine and then his tongue against my lips. I felt his tongue work its way between my lips, which parted to let him enter. I guess it was instinct or understanding, or something. I opened my mouth to receive his tongue.
At the same time, I felt his hands wandering up and down my back. Then, he had raised the hem of my shirt and his palms were rubbing up and down my backside.
I moaned and arched into him from the sheer pleasure of this new feeling that raced through my body. I felt my pulse jumping and the heat boiling along my veins. I didn't question what was happening, because I didn't want it to stop.
But he did not loosen his hold on me.
Instead, his lips left mine and began traveling down over my neck and throat. As he went he left a trail of warm wetness that sort of bummed, but it was a nice kind of painless thing. It was like using peroxide on a small cut. It sort of fizzled on my skin.
I wiggled as he came nearer and nearer to my tits. I positively squirmed with delight at the wonderful sensations that coursed through my body. It was delicious!
The imitation just before had pleased him, so I again imitated him and began returning his kisses on his flesh. Slowly and surely, as he worked down, I tried to, but couldn't as he was physically in the way. So, because he was moaning again, I contented myself with kissing slowly along his shoulder line back and forth from one side across to the other.
I noticed that at the back of his neck, where the smaller blond hairs lay clustered in tiny damp curls, that he seemed to like it the most. Each time I crossed that part of his back, he shivered and moaned.
That decided me, and I began concentrating on that particular area, sometimes coming round to one of his ears. When my mouth got tired, I used my fingers instead, tracing them over the our bumps in his uppermost curves of his spine and into his hair.
His big mouth was at my stiffening nipple. His lips engulfed my tiny breast and the erect nipple. I felt his tongue rasp across my tit. It was like dry ice washing across my chest and I gasped with the shock of it.
Then I felt the warmth of saliva spilling over it, retracted and again more of the hot iciness. This time, I shivered all over in his arms.
His hands, which had continued rubbing my back, were suddenly moving down over my flanks underneath my pants. The pressure of his hands caused the snaps to pop and he cupped my ass cheeks in his two hands.
The squeezing pressure he applied, slowly spread my long, thin legs apart. With nowhere to go except up, my right leg went over his two legs and I felt my hand fall into the space left by my leg. His prick fell with my hand until it rested on my thigh.
The heat in his weapon burned into the tender flesh there. I moaned and took my hand away. Removing it to my belly, I rubbed the taut flesh because it was pulled up against itself and it hurt slightly.
Actually, that felt good. In a second, his hand rested over mine and he pressed on my stomach. His hand was so big that the five spread fingers covered it from hip bone to hip bone and from my heaving diaphragm to my pussy.
As hot as I felt, my guts suddenly felt hotter as though his hand was a soft warm blanket pressing against my belly. But the heat emanating from his palm went through until even my little ass felt it.
I sighed and put my right hand, the one that had been squeezing on his prick, up behind his head. Holding his head still, I began nibbling on his ear.
He groaned loudly and his hand slid around to my ass. Now both of his hands were pressing on my cheeks and I felt my pussy arch into his waiting prick. The cock jumped at the contact and seemed to leap toward my still closed lips. It lay itself along the line of the tiny lips and throbbed at them.
Strangely and wonderfully enough, my little cunt began twitching back at his burning muscles. Within a few minutes, I was feeling a growing rhythm with his pecker as it slowly increased in speed.
The pressure of his hands kept increasing until my pubic bone was smashed into his hairy puss just above his throbbing cock. I felt it creak from the strain. I moaned with pain. But he misunderstood and pressed harder, pulling me into him increasingly more painfully.
"Uncle, please! It hurts!"
But he didn't seem to hear.
"Babe, love, sweetheart! Love me!"
I really did not know what he meant, but I wanted to make him happy for his having made me so wonderfully alive at this instant.
I didn't know anyone ever could feel this wonderful tingling all over.
But, on the other hand, I still hurt where he was pressing me grindingly against him. Then he began rotating his hips. Slowly, some of the pain left as it was replaced by the beginnings of new joys.
I felt a beginning of an itching between my legs. As his crotch ground against mine I felt the itching growing until I thought I couldn't stand it anymore.
With another little cry, this time of pleasure, I began rubbing my pussy into his cock, feeling the itching beginning to give way to a most pleasurable emanation of warmth.
As it grew, I felt as though I wanted to share it. I raised my leg, the one already over his legs, and pushed myself into his hairy crotch. Difficult as it was spreading my legs that far, I did manage to get the tips of his curly triangle to tickle at the outer lips of my pussy.
But it wasn't enough. I wanted more.
I guess he must have known because he brought one of his hands down to my smooth, little pussy. The flesh there trembled as his hand crept across it.
His fingers, one by one, felt their individual ways between my pussy's lips and then one of them-the index finger-began rubbing on a certain spot of flesh.
I arched my body strongly against the hand and the finger accidentally jabbed into my swelling clitoris. I gasped as flashes of pain wracked my body. No one ever had touched me there, except me when I bathed. But I had never jabbed myself at all.
The pains began subsiding as he realized what had happened and was gently massaging the small soreness with two fingers.
"Poor Babe," he whispered in my ear. "Did it hurt? Does this feel better? That's it, relax!"
Greater pleasure blanketed out the pain as his fingers crept down toward my twat. That virgin tightness began pulsating as the tickling fingers neared its entrance.
In anticipation I held my breath. Closer, closer, even nearer, I felt the hardness of his short nails digging.
Then! The sudden panic broke me out in a sweat as I waited for something to happen. I don't know what I expected, but it was certainly not what happened.
As his finger paused on the quivering flesh surrounding the opening I felt my body urging itself to spring on that finger and swallow it.
Following the instinctive and strong urge, I did just that, impaling myself on his stiffened index finger.
I gasped as the heavy roundness poked harshly into my taut inner muscles. Unused to such games, they did not easily give.
Realizing this, he backed his hand away, pulling his finger out. As it came it made a suckling noise. He wiggled it around as it slowly withdrew, and I reacted by clasping-or trying to clasp-my thighs together.
He then began pushing his long finger back into me.
"Lie still," he commanded in a slightly louder tone "Don't move. I don't want to hurt you."
His finger pushed gently into my twat until I could feel his hand pushing against my pussy lips. His bony knuckles rubbed into my flesh, taking away the burning itch that kept re-occurring along the inner flesh of them.
Then, too, they felt sort of swollen and, well, soggy, like they were water-logged. And wherever his knuckles touched, the itching left to be replaced by a deep penetrating warmth.
But it was mainly his finger inside of my twat that felt so good. He pushed it up and down in a rhythmic way until I felt as though I wanted to climb right through the trees and claw at the stars.
I know I cried and writhed and rolled against him time and time again. I tried to stay still, but I simply could not lie motionless. It was impossible in the face of so much wonderful pleasure.
Then I felt a knot growing inside of my stomach. It was hard and hurt just a little. It was more like the knot was there and I could feel it growing, expanding inside of me. It was another strange and exhilarating experience that was like a fist now. This fist was sort of kneading itself around and pushing against my guts, but gently.
Suddenly-Stars! Pinwheels reeled madly before my eyes. I was blinded by colors! Racing colors! Reds melted into yellows. Yellows dimmed into glaring whites.
Blackness fell only to be shimmered into vivid blues and greens that shattered seemingly of themselves into scarlet and orange, beginning the whole collage again.
I was soaring through endless mists of glowing colors, slowly dipping my way back to earth. The colors faded and I was again lying in Uncle Brandon's arms and my thighs were sticky.
My whole body was covered with a heavy sweat. So was Brandon's. Both of us were practically swimming in liquids, sprung from our over-heated flesh.
We'd soaked the blanket inside the sleeping bag. But I didn't care. I felt so comfortable, so calm.
As I lay there just sort of letting the aftermath of whatever had happened wash slowly over me, he began wiggling around. Disturbing me slightly he seemed bent and determined to upset both of us.
"What's the matter?" I asked lazily, really not caring, so long as he would just stop pushing around. "Lie still, please. I'm so comfortable just as I am."
He leaned over and kissed me again, making it a long and lazy maneuver. My bones were turning to jelly and I didn't care what he did.
Lying back, relaxing, I let him explore my mouth again with his tongue. After what seemed like ages, his lips slid wetly off mine and began trailing down over my chin. From there they found their way gently across my throat, and down to my again stiffening nipples.
Kissing each one in turn, he proceeded down ever so slowly. With his tongue he caressed my navel until it tickled and I felt my flesh drawing sharply back.
Continuing down he began licking at my crotch. He screwed his head around so that he could lick from the top down toward my pussy. With long and even strokes, he cleaned off every inch. Taking his time to get all the stickiness, of which there was plenty, he slowly cleaned my scanty bush.
As my legs were still spread open, he dipped his head between my thighs and began licking on the inside of my right leg. Cleaning it of the substance there, his rasping tongue and head crossed over to the other thigh and began the same process.
Now, I was feeling sort of tickly all over. Waves of heat rolled up from my cunt, one for each run his tongue made across my flesh. I shivered after each new wave washed over my head. Anticipating the next one, I got cold, shivery cold from each spasm.
But it was wonderful! Beautiful!
Then he paused. But, only for a second before his mouth went back to work.
I spread my legs further and arched into his mouth. I wanted to feel his tongue digging in and relieve the itching that was building with each added stroke of his marvelous tongue.
Up and down! Marvelous! Wonderful! His tongue kept moving slowly, coming closer to my twat and the sensitive flesh surrounding it! Once before I had felt his fingers there. Now his tongue was there!
Like ripples on a quiet pond, sensations wavered across my body, row after row of them. My body shuddered uncontrollably. My voice came in small cries of deep arousal.
Never in my life had I felt like this!
It was pure torture!
His tongue was right at the entrance now. Pausing again, he waited for me to calm down. But I couldn't!
"Honey! Take it easy!" he whispered from between my thighs.
"Uncle Brandon!" I panted, crying passionately. In my agony, my hands curled up, the nails biting into the flesh of my palms.
"Please, Uncle! Oh, it's wonderful!"
Ducking his head back down, he put his tongue to the entrance of my twat and shoved his face into my quivering hole. His tongue lashed out, rubbing fiercely against first one part, then another part of my flesh.
I remember screaming and convulsing with the sheer delight of it all. And, then, peace. A calming, soothing peace settled over me. Distinctly, I felt his tongue and mouth working at my twat. I had felt another knot burst.
It had come so quickly and burst so hurriedly, that it wasn't until after it had burst within me, showering him, that I knew it had happened.
He continued licking, with interspersed sucking at my insides until he had swallowed all the juices that came from the knot, plus all the juices from the previous knot.
Exhausted, I lay suspended between sleep and awake, only vaguely aware, now that he was moving back up to stretch out beside me. He took me into his arms and held me closely, but loosely.
I fell asleep.
I had just noticed that our time for this session had ended. She saw my slight distraction, immediately. She was quite sensitive, then, to other people's sensibilities.
"I should like to hear the rest of this story," I said. "And, I'm sure you need someone to talk to."
Her smile said she did.
"Yes, I do."
"Would this same time next week be all right."
"Yes."
I rose and held out my hand. "Then, I'll be expecting you next week," I said.
"I'll be here," she replied, taking my hand. Holding it for an instant, she squeezed slightly, then let go. Quickly, she turned and walked to the door. From her swift movements, she did not expect me to walk her to the door.
Opening it, she walked out, not looking back.
I sat down, thinking. Even though she had been made, obviously, to feel guilt and shame, even some sort of horror, she apparently did not experience these feelings during the first incident. I wondered if her mother and father had instilled it in her, later.
Well, I thought, it would have to wait until the next time.
I happened to have an open appointment after Lynn left, so I sat down with her opened file. Her mother's remarks transcribed upon Lynn's entrance into the clinic were very interesting.
After learning more about her mother's attitudes, Lynn's case began to take some sort of shape and form in my mind. I had been right! There was a pervading theme of sin and paying for one's sins in her speech.
INTERVIEW TWO
Lynn was perfectly on time for our next session, and this indicated to me that I had really gotten through to her and that she was anxious to communicate with me.
I opened the door to my office for her, and her smile lit the room.
"Hi," she said and crossed the room to sit down.
When she was seated she crossed her legs at the ankle and folded her hands in her lap.
After I had regained my seat, she sat staring at me, or to be more precise, through me. She did not speak for a long time.
Just as I was about to break the silence, she focused her eyes on me and opened her mouth.
"I got a letter from Uncle Bran, yesterday. I doubt if I would have ever seen it, but for the fact that I went to get the mail, instead of Mom. It was addressed to me. Would you like to read it?"
"If you want me to."
She handed it to me, after taking it from her purse.
I opened the envelope and extracted a single sheet of paper. There were several lines scrawled on it.
Dear Babe, I tried to reach you by phone but yor mother keeps saying in her nice way that you're not home. I wrote at least twice and if I don't hear from you soon, I'm going to come in person. I don't think that you're getting my letters.
Anyway, if you do get this one, let me know. There's something I want to talk to you about. It's urgent!
Please, sweetheart, don't fail me. Not now!
Love, Brandon
Folding the paper back into the envelope, I handed it back across the desk to her. "What does he mean?"
"I don't know. But I do want to find out."
Her words trailed off and she stared out into space, again looking straight through me. Frankly, I was beginning to become edgy from her habit. Even as a psychologist, I was not fully prepared for her spells of absent-mindedness. (For lack of a better word.)
Apparently, during these times, she was organizing what she was going to say to me. Just as I was about to distract her, she came back, but only to continue with her story.
I slept heavily and awoke that next morning feeling different. The sunshine, pouring through the tent door, was more golden than it had ever been before. The forest smelled stronger and more moldy. It was all glorious! Even the birds sang sweeter.
I guess I lay there for a long time just soaking it all in. I more than just felt different, I was different. Somehow, unknowingly last night, I had crossed some sort of barrier. I hadn't known it at the time, but I guess I just sort of felt that things would be different now.
How different, I did not know.
"Babe! Hey, wake up! Breakfast's on!"
"Okay," I called back.
I sat up quickly. I lay back down just as quickly. I was sore! Every muscle in my body was aching.
Again, I sat up. But this time I took my time moving. It took some doing and a couple of groans. Within minutes, though, I was on my feet and getting dressed.
I found it wasn't so bad once I got moving.
"Gosh, Uncle Brandon, I guess I'm a real softy."
"Why?"
"I'm all stiff from lying on the ground all night."
He chuckled, but said nothing. "What's so funny?"
"Nothin'," he was trying to keep from laughing at me.
I wasn't angry, just in a 'question asked, answer wanted' mood. "Come on, Uncle, let me in on the secret."
I walked over to him.
He put his arm around me and hugged me.
With his other hand, he began rubbing my pussy.
Immediately, I felt the itching beginning again. And instantly, it was intolerable. Reaching up, I unbuckled my belt and unsnapped the jeans. The zipper, like most zippers, only stuck because I was frantic to get it open.
Chuckling more, Uncle Brandon undid it for me.
"Babe," he managed through his laughs, "you're sure a hot little bitch."
Because I had been stiff as well as half-asleep when I dressed, I had forgotten my underpants. I noticed that just as soon as his hand slipped into my cunt after opening the zipper. He didn't wait even to pull the jeans down, but thrust his hand into my crotch directly and began rubbing.
He was rubbing so hard that I was swaying off my feet. To keep me from falling, he pulled me onto his lap. He was sitting on a big rock.
As he pulled me onto him, he slid my pants down and opened my legs wide. His huge hand was thrusting and plunging against my cunt, forcing the swelling lips apart. His fingers dug into my flesh, grinding against the bones behind my still tender flesh.
Arching, I rose into his hand, trying to get more of this wonderful sensation of which I couldn't seem to get enough.
Then, holding me against him with one arm, he began wiggling my jeans off my ass and down my legs. Slowly, they slid down and off my legs. A slight amount of kicking on my part helped.
I was much too developed to really need a bra and I had not worn an undershirt, either. So, the shirt was all I had left on me. Rolling me back, Uncle Brandon slipped the buttons open.
Holding me up, he slipped the shirt off my shoulders and it fell to the ground. Also, unheeded, was breakfast.
"Babe, I'm goin' to do something different to you," he said gently as he picked up and walked to the tent. Going inside, he lay me down naked on the rumpled blankets.
He stripped until he stood there naked. He was a glorious specimen of manhood!
I guess Uncle Brandon was about thirty-five, which is awfully old to me. But he was gorgeous. He towered over me, being just over six feet tall. His blond hair, on his head, and all over his body, was outlined in the dazzling light of the early morning. He looked as though he had an aura around him-a golden one.
He has blue eyes, big and very blue-deep blue-the kind that can get black with emotions like anger or even excitement. His mouth is full and his lips are tannish-pink. His skin is all over a golden-brown. I mean, he got his tan in the nude.
But the best part, the second best-was his over-all build. He has shoulders that seemed to fill the tent, narrowing quickly down below his massive diaphragm into an almost tiny waist and slender hips. His legs were sort of the same, in that they were massive at the thighs, tapering into real slender legs, for a man, and fine ankles and long feet with long toes.
His arms were heavy on the upper ends, again trimming down into slender but bony wrists and long, slender hands and fingers.
But the best part of him was his prick and balls, which I could see quite well from where I lay on the blankets. His cock was standing erect and it was almost ten inches long and four at the base, tapering to a slender neck, just behind the bulging head. The tip, itself huge, flared out over the end of the stem and rounded almost perfectly, standing red and swollen in the morning light. It, too, seemed to have a golden halo around it.
His balls were scrunched up, hiding behind his hairy puss where it came down around his prick and disappeared into his halo between his legs.
He knew I was watching him, so he stood still with his hands down on his hips, watching me back. I could feel his gaze walking up and down my skin, with slow measured strides. He did not miss a thing, not a single solitary angle of my skinny body. I think he counted the bones. I'm quite sure he counted the angles twice, and maybe three times as he took so long.
But I must say, that I did have a couple of things going for me, even then. I have lovely gleaming hair and I'm slender with no scars or birthmarks. In fact, I have remarkably clear skin.
Tearing himself away from for an instant, he walked over and picked up a towel. Coming back, he folded the cloth and knelt beside my rump.
"Here, Babe, you'll be more comfortable if you lie on this."
I raised my little ass off the blanket while I looked at him. I didn't understand the 'more comfortable' part. But I did as he wanted. I suppose he knew what he was doing.
He put the folded towel under my ass and pussy, as though to catch any dripping. I was still further puzzled because I know that after last night the blanket was already spotted with my juices. But, like I said, he must have known what he was doing.
I lay down on the towel and adjusted my bones into it. As I did so, he laid his hand on my belly-that sunken little hollow of flesh, hanging between my hip bones. I really was wondering what he could see in me. Without clothing, I was nothing-a scarecrow.
Anyway, fingers of warmth crept up my flesh when he laid his spread hand on my belly. Rubbing gently, he leaned over and put his lips against mine. The softness of his flesh against mine and then the parting of our mouths caused his tongue to enter into my mouth.
He explored inside, entering slowly. Sticking the tip of his tongue into my mouth, he shoved it up between my upper lip and my front teeth. Sliding his tongue around, he ran it over my slippery teeth and along my inner lips. It tickled and tingles ran across the side of my cheek.
Then, he did the same to the other side, making it tingle, too. Next, his tongue tip ran down to the lower jaw and he inserted it between my lower lip and teeth. Because of the difference of the angle, his upper lip slid off my mouth and I grabbed it clumsily between my upper lip and teeth.
Holding it there, I worked my lip over his lip, making my teeth pinch at the inner flesh of his lip. And his tongue continued around my lower jaw, first on one side and then on the other side. The shivers ran down my throat and onto my chest, making my soft nipples get all sort of goose-bumpy.
Lifting his face just a little from mine, he came back down again and this time, gave me a good solid kiss. His tongue drove deep into my mouth, nearly gagging me at the back of my throat.
Realizing that he was not only choking me, but scaring me, he withdrew his tongue a little and I felt myself relaxing from the panic I suddenly felt.
"Sorry, Babe," he muttered against my flesh, and then he kissed me again. He was gentler this time. Our mouths joined again and I pulled his tongue into my throat and sucked hard. He moaned and bore down on me.
My hands, which had lain idle by my sides, began searching for his body. Finding it, I began running my fingers lightly over his skin, feeling the flesh quiver back from the light touch of my fingers. Delighted with my discovery that Uncle Brandon was ticklish, I continued and moved my hands closer up his back.
Moving them forward still ticklingly, I brushed the golden threads massed in his armpits. Tentatively, I pulled at some of them, rubbing them between my fingers. They were smooth and slick, clean and slippery as if he had just washed. He probably had gone for a dawn dipping in the icy little creek.
Anyway, when he pulled his shoulder away and grunted, I realized that Uncle Brandon was tender under there, so I returned to the tickling. Moving up his back, my hands finally met around his neck and I began running my fingers through his fair with one hand. The other massaged at the back of his massive neck.
While he was keeping his weight off me, I still could feel the unconscious heaviness of his resting hand on my belly. But then, he began moving it up toward my breasts. Inching his way carefully along, he massaged each piece of skin and muscle between my belly and my nipples.
When his hand closed over my stiffening tit, it covered half of my chest. I felt the warmth of his hand spread through to my back, even. It felt good. So I wiggled and he applied a slight amount of pressure, not much, just enough to keep me from moving too much.
His other hand joined his first and with the two of them, he massaged my entire chest. Exhilarated by the heat radiating from his body so near to mine, I wiggled some more.
That itching began again. I felt it mount in my cunt until I just couldn't lie still. Itching and quivering from front to back and with it gaining on me every second, I began rotating my hips and rubbing my thighs together.
He felt my stirrings and raised his head.
"Gettin' hotter?"
"I-I itch- I love it-I itch."
"Okay, babe," he responded. One of his huge hands left my breasts and went directly to my pussy. Resting the palm over my jutting pubic bone, he dug his three middle fingers into my twitching flesh. Running them swiftly up and down inside my cunt lips, he did not relieve the pressure and the itching that was building there, but only aggravated it more.
I felt as though I was going out of my mind with pleasure because it all felt so wonderful.
For support, I dug my heels into the blanket and thrust my back hard into his hand. The fingers were positioned wrong and drove into my tender flesh. But now, I didn't care. Arching again, I kept doing this. Each time I managed to catch his fingers off balance, so to speak, and they were rammed into my pussy.
Then he got two of his fingers into my twat as I arched for about the sixth time. Shoving extra hard, I managed to impale myself halfway onto the two fingers.
The aching increased again. It still did not diminish.
Now, on his own, he stiffened the fingers all the way and jammed them into my tight little twat. Unwillingly, the virgin muscle gave way before the circumference of my Uncle's relentless fingers.
Hitting up against something resilient, his fingers bounded back slightly. I felt a wrenching pain sizzle up into me and couldn't help but cry. It was agonizing.
I arched again, this time in pain and screamed loudly. I felt a wrenching inside of my twat. In that instant the resiliency gave before his fingers and a stickiness dribbled down over his fingers and my twat walls.
I sniffed. It smelled familiar. It was blood! I panicked as I smelled the fresh odor of spilling blood.
"I'm bleeding!" I screamed. "I'm bleeding!"
"Hush. It's all right. Nothing that won't be okay in a little while."
"But, what happened?" I sobbed, getting overly excited because it was precisely that I did not know what had happened.
"Don't you know?" He sounded genuinely puzzled.
"I don't know, Uncle." The pain had subsided to a dull ache.
"Well," he sounded mostly as if he didn't quite know how to say this to me. "Well, all women, uh-all women have a flap of skin across their pussy hole. It kind of protects them before they're like you and me. And it's got to be broken. It bleeds a little and it hurts. But--"
I looked at him, still puzzled. "You really don't know?" It was a statement.
"No, I guess I'm sort of stupid." I felt my face getting redder and hotter with embarrassment. I knew this was something that I was supposed to have knowledge of, but I didn't
"When two people," Uncle Brandon continued, "feel this way about each other, it's a natural thing. You like me don't you?"
"Oh, Uncle, I love you!"
"Well, I love you. When two people feel this 'love' toward each other then they express it with their bodies. God gave us these bodies. So I guess he meant for us to use them as we see fit."
"Yes," I replied. What he said was beautiful and so natural.
"Well, anyway," he went on, "when anyone begins expressing their love, it hurts just a little because you're not used to saying 'I love you' this way."
"I know," I replied. "It's like when you play hard and haven't used those muscles for a long time. You get sore muscles from it the next day."
"Right, Babe!"
"Well," I said, "show me how to make love to you. I do love you."
Bending down, he kissed me again. He was fierce this time. His mouth ground down on mine and bruised it. But, like I said, love hurts for the first time. I didn't whimper because I found that I was actually enjoying it.
He moved carefully across my body until he was straddling my legs. Bending my knees he pulled my legs apart and lay them down around his legs. Then he pulled his legs together.
"Okay, honey. Put your legs back beside mine."
I did as he said, moving my legs back so that his knees were boxed in by my long, thin legs.
He came down on his elbows and stretched out over me.
"Now," he continued, "I want you to hold onto my arms, but not until I do a little adjusting down here." Taking his right arm he felt for his huge muscle and guided it toward my tiny hole. When his prick's head rested against the quivering flesh with gentle pressure applied from his hips, he replaced his arm elbow as a prop beside my left side.
"Now, grab my arms and hold tight"
I nodded.
On the sides of my thighs I felt his hips and ass muscles tensing. I felt tense because of it. He tensed further, contracting himself and the pressure of his swollen head increased against my hole.
Easing back, the pressure relaxed somewhat. Then he tensed again. With grunting effort that brought sweat popping out on his forehead, he began to penetrate into my twat, slowly forcing my virgin muscles back.
Searing pain blinded me.
The pain eased back into a dull ache. Cool lips brushed across my forehead.
Lights flashed across my eyeballs and closed against the light of day.
I screamed. It hurt! And it burned like I've never felt burning before. But it was not so bad as before.
Then the pain eased and fell into a sharper ache. I realized that the itch had mysteriously disappeared. I don't even remember when it went. I just know that it was gone before I noticed it had left.
The third time, I caught the mounting pressure as his pecker began entering me again. I was ready and did not scream at all. I moaned and tossed my head around. I couldn't help that. But I didn't need to scream. The pain was passing.
I wanted him to go further-now-this instant!
Arching into him, I tried to impale myself onto his organ as I had done twice before on his fingers. He sensed my lifting and backed off. He wasn't quite fast enough and I drove him deeper into me.
Fires flashed in raging circles, each ring buried deeper into me as far and just a little farther than he was lodged inside of me.
He wanted to withdraw. I wanted him to go deeper-as far as he could. We didn't actually argue it, or anything like that. I was not the stronger, so he simply withdrew-for a spell.
Then, he came edging back in. This time I think he made it almost half-way before he withdrew again.
But this time he stayed out because he was at the entrance and I think he was going to go all the way. I remembered that it had twitched furiously the night before. Now, it was repeating this action. This time there was a difference-I felt a hot, sticky wetness filling me up.
It wasn't comfortable. It made me feel sticky-like glue. But at the same time I felt those muscles inside of me beginning to relax again and all the pain left.
I was left with a sort of vague feeling, as though something hadn't been fully done-or maybe done at all. It nagged a little at me.
But, then Uncle Brandon got up. He reached down and picked me up. "What now?"
"It's time we cleaned up and ate something. Aren't you hungry?"
"Yes. Now that you mention it."
And all the way down the hill, he walked carrying me. For each of the way, he kissed me-on my mouth-quick little kisses-on my cheeks-my eyelids.
And he murmured things like, "Orange blossom-gentle delighte-Willow shoot-Lover." Things like that. I didn't catch most of them because they were muffled. But I caught those. They were like dew drops falling on the grass at dawn.
They just lay there sparkling in my thoughts. Actually, I didn't realize that we were going down or up hill.
And where, I surely did not know, until he said, "Babe, hold your breath. Hold your breath-and your nose." He bit it playfully, nipping the tip.
And when my hand came up, he let go of me.
The shock of the cold water jerked me alive. I was totally awake and completely alert. When I came up he was wading and grinning.
"Uncle Brandon!" I shouted, splashing water at him and swimming away. But again he was much too quick and strong for me.
He caught me within two strokes and ducked me under a couple of times. And then we just played around, splashing each other and laughing for a while.
But that mountain water was icy cold. I could feel its bite whenever I stopped moving or stood out of the water for an instant.
I guess we got out just before I turned blue, as Uncle Brandon said. He must have had it all planned, because there were towels laid out-not clothing-but a blanket and towels.
He shoved me down on the blanket. Taking a towel, he began rubbing me with it until my skin was enough and reddened from the friction. But I was thoroughly warm now. Glowing, really! I felt like I was sort of glowing inside and out.
I glanced at my watch.
"Oh, dear, sir. I've gotten carried away. It's time to go!"
"In a minute. I want to ask you about next week."
"Oh, I'll be here for sure. It's so nice to be able to talk to someone who understands." Her smiled, the first real one I had seen, was a genuine response.
"Well, I'm curious-about one thing?"
"What?"
"Did either of you eat breakfast that morning?"
She laughed, rippling up and down the scale, musically. "No, we never did get to eat. At least the breakfast" She laughed at the memory.
"We dried each other off and came up from the creek, bringing the blankets and towels with us. I went into the tent because I wanted to make the bed.
"I found the other towel, which I had not seen and brought it out
"What's this, Uncle Brandon?" I proffered the stained towel.
" 'Oh, that's just where your little flap of skin got broken,,' he replied. " 'Your cherry, Babe.'"
" 'My what? I hope I'm not hurt by this?' "
" 'Don't worry, you aren't hurt. And, I guarantee you, you won't miss it, either. It only happens once to a girl, that's all.' "
" 'Oh, then I don't have to go through this ever again,'" I asked, pointing to the blood-stained towel.
" 'No. Once is all.' "
"I took the towel and put it aside.
"Going back to the fire, I saw breakfast. The pan was crusted black and still smoking with eggs, bacon and biscuits.
"We looked at each other and just began laughing. I was thinking what a fuss Momma would have made if I'd done this at home accidentally. But it didn't seem important. It had happened and all that could be done was to start all over again.
"That was all right. We had enough supplies. So Uncle Brandon took the pan back down to the creek and washed it in water, rinsing it in the water. Then he scoured it clean and shiny with sand from the creek bottom.
"We had a great breakfast."
"Did you stay longer?" I asked.
"No. It was the last day. My folks would be back the next day so we had to go home. We left later."
"Next week?" I asked, "do you think you'll have heard from Uncle Brandon?"
"I sure hope so. I wonder what he needs to say so badly to me."
"I thought you might have some idea," I prompted her.
"No," she said, shaking her head negatively.
"Well," I reassured her, "don't worry if you don't get a reply before two weeks, either. Mails are sometimes slow."
"Oh, well, then, if I don't come-"
"No!"
She jumped at my sharp statement. I softened it a little.
"It's rather that you still have things to clear up with yourself. You should keep coming while you are still making progress."
"I'm really making progress?" she cut in.
"Yes. At the hospital you refused to talk at all. Here-" Deliberately, I left the sentence hanging.
"Oh, but you're easy to talk to. You don't begin disbelieving me. At least, someone believes me and hasn't automatically said I'm either a sinner or completely insane."
"Then," I retorted, "don't you think you should continue to come back?"
"Yes. You're right. Same time, next week?"
"No. Let's make this one later, after the last mail."
"Yes sir!" Bouncing up, she ran out. "Goodbye," she called over her shoulder.
It was obvious that Lynn was changing. The change was due to two things. First, her ability to talk calmly and rationally about what had happened. Secondly, the fact that her Uncle Brandon had been trying to contact her.
INTERVIEW THREE
I was surprised when Lynn was late for our session, but when I saw the sadness written all over her face, I knew why. I was even surprised that she had come at all, but was very glad to make note of her innate fortitude.
"The letter didn't come, did it?" I asked.
"No," she replied, taking a chair. Then she brightened and said, "Maybe tomorrow."
That was the kind of spunk I liked to see. "Perhaps, Lynn." I felt sorry that there had been no letter. On the other hand, it could be working out for the best. This "affection" she had for a much older man was highly abnormal. It was possible that she could be distracted from him long enough and then she might find someone in her own age group whom she would like.
"I gave it lots of thought," she cut into my thoughts. "I think that sin is a word that applies to a deed if the person feels he is doing something wrong. If he's not feeling that he's doing wrong, then he can't be sinning.
"Anyway, according to how Momma taught, many things were sins. I've been wondering if maybe she isn't just a little narrow-minded in her ideas of sin."
"It's possible," I commented.
"So," she continued, "what I told you about the last two weeks could not have been a sin, even in retrospect because I have not been able to classify it as a sin. But what happened later was sin because I knew better."
"What do you mean?"
"What happened?"
Uncle Brandon left shortly after that. I didn't see him for almost eight months. In that time I had my first menstruation. Momma sat down and talked to me about 'the curse' and how to take care of myself. She added little tantalizers about not allowing any men or boys to ever know when I was bleeding.
She warned me against allowing any man or boy to see me naked. She said it was evil for a young girl to let a boy touch her at anytime.
In fact, she had a long list of 'don'ts' to add to the long list of things that were wrong and therefore sins.
That was when I learned from her that what Uncle Brandon and I had so joyously done was a sin. I did not say anything much because I knew Momma would be upset. Even done in innocence, she told me once, sin was still sin.
I had several periods before he came back. And, now I was beginning to slowly resemble a girl more and a boy less. Even I could see the difference. In fact, I had just finished one when he returned.
While he was home, my folks went visiting, leaving me in his care.
They left early in the morning before I was up. As they had said goodbye the night before, I wasn't expected to be up to see them off.
But I was hiding behind the curtains watching.
While I was glad to see them go, I still dreaded this time because of the new things I had heard.
From the bedroom I heard him going back into the kitchen. I realized then that I was starved. Scurrying back to my room, I put on my robe and slipper and down to the kitchen.
"Morning, Babe," he said through a mouthful of egg. "Want some?"
"Sure!"
"Help yourself," he said, sweeping his arm over his plate.
Going to the cupboard, I got a plate, fork and glass. Coming to the table, I tilted half the contents of his plate into mine.
"Hey! You're going to starve me!"
"I'm hungry," I retorted, making a face at him.
Before I could move, he had reached over and kissed me.
"Okay, Babe. Now, I won't starve."
We talked about the week ahead, what we would do, where we would go, what we would see. After that, I started cleaning up the dishes.
Neither of us had made any reference to the camping episode of last year. Except for his kiss.
My hands wet with soapy water, I felt him close behind me. I stood still as his hands closed on my shoulders. I wanted to say that-about the last time, how I hadn't known, but that now I did-now I knew about 'sin.'
His lips were on my neck and into my hair as I turned to tell him. Then, before I could utter a sound, he was kissing my mouth.
His lips were soft on mine and his tongue was relearning all the tiny cavities and hidden comers of my mouth. His tongue wrapped itself around my tongue and they rasped off each other.
I felt his hands groping for the buttons on my robe. Trying to pull free, he misinterpreted my struggles as passion. He drew me closer to him, his hands working, one holding me, the other moving inside my robe.
His fingers found my growing tit and cupped it.
I knew in that instant, I would never tell him about the 'sinning.'
I leaned into him, moaning slightly. His arms wrapped around me, squeezing me in his embrace. Then he picked me up and we headed upstairs.
My cunt was already quivering in anticipation of his prick penetrating into its warm and dark recesses. I was panting and broken out in a sweat just from the memories of eight months ago.
"Sweetheart," he breathed into my ear. "My darling! How I've missed you. The loneliness, emptiness without you."
Gently, he lay me on the bed. His big hand spread my opened robe and pajama shirt. Both of his hands covered my tiny tits with their oversized nipples. He squeezed and I moaned.
His head came back down and he pulled the nearer nipple into his mouth, running his tongue over and across it. Quickly, I felt the flesh of it tightening. The soft nipple grew hard and rigid, digging into the little flesh of my miniscule boobs.
His hand flattened it into my flesh as his mouth sought its twin. That too, was easily stiffened for it was already on the way. Then both of his hands were smashing down on my chest.
Twisting his palms, he twisted the flesh. Tingles shot down into my belly. The flesh there humped itself into a concave basin of frozen ripples.
Looking over at his groin, I saw the bulge of his prick straining against his pants. He was so close that I reached over and loosened his belt and the zipper. The cloth parted and his monstrous erection leaped out.
Waggling its red and swollen head at me, it begged me to touch it. I did. It was hot and moist, fluttering at my touch. Gently, I ran my fingers down the slick stem, the excess skin, back folding under my fingers as I went.
All the way down to the base, nestled in his golden bush, I left the stem to run my fingers through his kinky hairs. They were fine and smooth to the touch.
His hands were slowly kneading their way down over my torso toward my waiting pussy. I could feel the muscles there beginning to twitch rhythmically as I began itching.
As his fingers touched the edges of my growth of fine hairs, I felt the itch begin burning. The twitch built into a beating throb. The arteries on both of my legs pulsed with coursing blood.
My cunt lips were leaden, yet, ultra-sensitive. Even the slightest chill in the room affected them. It was as though the air was a dash of cold water, they were so hot!
I spread my legs invitingly, for I wanted him badly.
But first he had a special little something he wanted to do. Bending down he kissed, not lick, but kissed every inch of my twat.
His soft lips were driving me mad. They were so full and yielding, also cool against my seared and blood-gorged pussy. I couldn't stand it any longer.
"Brandon! Now! Please!" Neither one of us realized that I had stopped prefacing his name with 'Uncle.' The final bridge was crossed and we were lovers! Sinners! Doers of evil!
Lifting his head, he climbed onto the bed. He knelt between my spread thighs and then came forward over my chest. His arms lay on the bed and his hands on my shoulders.
Reaching down, I grasped his prick in my small hand and guided it toward the fiery depths. I felt the end of his cock brush against and lodge into the tiny opening of my twat. I drew a sharp breath.
Hovering over me, he paused before lowering himself onto me. I felt the straining ache as my muscles fought his monster's entry. Summoning all my willpower, I forced those recalcitrant fibers to slowly retract.
He penetrated deeper, inching his way into me. Withdrawing each time to the tip of his stalk, he pushed it in just a bit more each time.
But I wanted something different. I wanted him to shove into me and force his way in. This was too easy. There was not a special sensation. It was tame. He wanted to be gentle, I wanted him to be fierce.
I decided that I would have my way.
Each time he withdrew, I inched myself back just ever so slightly. When he thought he was about half-way into me, I was tensed back waiting to spring.
At the top of his stroke, just before coming back into me, he paused this time.
He began descending. I began rising. We smashed together in the middle, with his buttocks slamming me back into the bed.
I screamed as his prick rammed into me as far as it could go.
Searing flashes of tearing pain fled along my nerves. I kept screaming even as I threw my legs around his ass, locking him into me.
So sensitive was I that through the agony-wonderful and glorious agony, I could feel each single throb of his pecker against my walls.
"Babe! Love! Sweetness!" he cried.
His chest came down on my body while his hands reached around and took hold of my legs. He paused.
"Ill let you have your way, sweetie. I promise. You'll get your ramming." His hold on my ankles tightened. "Trust me?"
"Yes," I whispered, breathless with anticipated joy.
In a smooth series of fluid motions, he unhooked my ankles, spread my legs wide, and rolled over onto his back until I was spread-legged on top of him. "Keep your knees stiff, Babe." I did.
"Now, push yourself up off my chest with your hands." I did.
"Now, sweetheart," he continued, "push against my hands with your legs."
I did. To my amazement, I found myself coming off his prick. Ducking my head down, I watched as it slid slowly out of my insides.
"Stop," he commanded when I had just the jerking head still inside of me.
"Don't move."
I remained frozen. Slowly, I felt his hands move down and his palms cup around my heels, gripping them tightly. Then my legs came together slightly until his knuckles rested into the sheets. I saw the muscles bulging through his gleaming skin as he tensed them to hold my feet just so.
"Now," he said, pausing.
I looked into his eyes.
"When I tell you to relax again, I want your legs to be jelly. Okay?"
I nodded, keeping my eyes fixed on his. "Relax!"
My legs collapsed and a steel rod tore through me. Even as I screamed I knew what he wanted me to do. As quickly as I had relaxed, I shoved my legs straight again. Then my legs collapsed again.
Up and down I went, impaling myself again and again on the unyielding shaft. Each time I fell back onto it, the top of it jabbed agonizingly into my diaphram. I screamed each time the breath was knocked from my lungs.
I felt it growing, which seemed impossible, with each successive stroke. The head was tearing me up inside, bruising me horribly, I knew. But I wanted it to continue-forever!
And, then as I came down on one impalement, I was shot back up by an equally heavy force. His gism smashed into the hole that his battering ram had pummelled before. I felt all the searing pains and joys of heaven as hell boiled up into me from below.
Bouncing off the walls of my twat with hardly a change of pace, the odorous liquid streamed down my flesh and onto his blond crotch, making it sticky-white. The unexpected force of his jets had thrown me off stride.
I sank down and stayed down.
Then she stopped talking. Our session was over.
CONCLUSION
Lynn was one of those extraordinary people, in whom the intellectual and emotional capacities had matured long before her physical body. She was physiologically equivalent to a college co-ed.
The extreme sheltering of her parents had well-protected her from any previous development of guilt. In her innocence, her unusual mind enabled her to cut through the morals of the situation and arrive at a conclusion based solely on what she saw as best for everybody.
She saw what she had done was wrong, but she simply could not see, outside of that, what was sinful about it. She had acted in a natural way. Her reaction was love and enjoyment with Bran. She reasoned that if she felt this way about him, and he felt that way about her, they should get married.
That they eventually did, as she finally wrote me.
Furthermore, she realized that if she waited the five years she would need to be of age in her state, her parents would end up giving her a feeling of guilt. To avoid all this, and also to reinstate herself with her parents, she eloped with Bran, returning herself to a "decent woman."
GENERAL CONCLUSION
It is sincerely hoped that the reader better understands the topic of teenage sexuality. There is a lesson to be learned from these studies. Being told in the patient's actual words, they give a direct insight into the causes of sexual frustration in young people- in this volume, young women in particular.
In the first case, Ethel was not only tormented by the actual occurrences with her male relatives, but she was also tormented by the fact that her mother would not believe her stories of sexual abuse at the hands of her father, brother, and uncle. In the case of Linda, therapy helped her a great deal. She came into my office a confused runaway who used her good looks to attract sexual parent figures, but within a few months she was back in high school and supporting herself. In the case of Jill B., the very fact that she was able to tell me about the horrible and degrading things perpetrated upon her by her deranged stepfather was half her battle back towards normalcy. The other half was won by her own strength and fortitude. Suicidal when she first came to me, Mabel learned that her feelings of sexuality were not wrong or dirty but simply an outgrowth of her parents' domination. And finally in the case of Lynn B., being so young she had her whole life ahead of her to get over her affair with her uncle, but instead she opted to stay with him-a healthy decision from her point of view.
