It conjures up the illusion of a woman insatiable, a woman whose sexual needs can never be answered, can never be fulfilled. What is more, for the male it conjures up the answer to a dream, the answer to the need for a bed partner who will always be willing and ready.
And yet, in our fantasies we see her as a perfect mate but in reality she proves to be much less than perfect. Very few males are capable of keeping up with her and very few females.
There is no answer to her lust. There is no end to her desires. There is no conclusion to her needs. She is always in search of an orgasm that never seems to arrive for her.
She is tortured, always searching, always trying to gain the sweet release that those with normal sexual drive receive so often.
Like Sisyphus pushing the stone up the hill, as soon as she comes to the brink of release she falls backwards and then must search again, trying to gain the happiness that is so recurrent in the normal sexual animal.
Men, often misguided, lust after these poor women. Women quite often hate them because of their attitude of taking any man at all that they can get hold of. But we, of the psychiatric profession, try to aid these troubled women.
They are among the most tortured souls in the universe. Their lives are constantly directed towards the one goal-the orgasm that would release them from the lust and passionate need that is the warden of their imprisoned souls. But no one can release them, free them from the bonds that they feel but the psychiatrists try and, sorry to say, we usually fail.
Each sexual episode is only another piece of wood in the burning fireplace of their desires. 'After every sexual escapade the same desire returns, only increased and more violent and more unfulfilled.
I have collected a set of cases from my personal files that will reveal the tormented soul of the nymphomaniac as she herself tells the harrowing details of the never ending search.
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2
CASE NUMBER ONE
Chris C.
INTERVIEW ONE:
NOTES:
With mousy brown hair that had obviously been bleached and rebleached, Chris walked into my office for our first interview, and I saw a thirty-year old woman, even though she was really only twenty-five. She had a slight figure and tended to make the worst of it because she slouched a great deal when she walked. She showed me a picture of herself when she was a young child, and what I saw was an attractive person with much to look forward to in life. Unfortunately, she had come to me after attempting suicide.
At first, Chris seemed angry at me, hostile because I would be a threat to her, because I needed to hear all the details of her life. She wanted to know if I wanted to hear the "dirty" parts.
Chris settled into her chair and began chain-smoking. It seemed to be a symtom typical of the young, troubled person.
She was dressed haphazardly, almost sloppily, in a short skirt that seemed to be either un-ironed or else slept in, and a white, wrinkled blouse with a low V-neck. I couldn't figure out whether she was trying to exciteme, or just present herself as a sexually exciting woman.
At any rate, I told her I would listen to anything she had to say to me, no matter how painful it might seem.
She was silent. She couldn't seem to talk at all, and seemed very uncomfortable with me. She lit another cigarette-her second already-and took a great deal of time in doing it. She looked directly at me.
"I've been swinging for a long time," she said.
"I see," was my answer. I was really waiting for her to go into the subject on her own initiative.
"Yeah," said Chris. "That's my way of life and I damn well like it, so maybe it's none of your business what I do with myself. Don't I have a right to live my life the way I want to? Isn't it mine, after all?"
I listened silently to the woman's words, just watching her. Under her facade of toughness I could sense the feelings of a hurt little girl who had so much to give, but who had gotten messed up by life and who wasn't going to forgive herself or anyone else.
"Well, anyway," Chris continued, "there isn't much to tell. I don't even know you, anyway."
Again I noticed the tough way Chris talked; it was quite a deliberate thing, and very much of a mask. Once she began, later, to talk easily, the toughness dropped out of her speech.
"I don't want to talk about it," she said suddenly. "You can't do a thing for me."
"It's up to you," I said. "It looks as if you're wasting your time and mine." I switched on the intercom to tell my secretary that Chris would be leaving.
"No, wait," Chris said.
I told my secretary to never mind.
"Well, are we going to cooperate with each other or not?" I asked. I had bet that the only way to handle Chris was to be forthright and tough on her. If she didn't show she wanted help we would just talk in circles for weeks.
"Would you like to tell me something about yourself, then?" I asked.
"All right," she said, and I noticed that her features softened quite a bit.
"I was the only child of a rich family who had not much to do with me. But there was an uncle who used to come visit us...."
Uncle Harry used to take me for walks out into the orchards that my parents had. He had been doing that since I was a little girl. But as I got to be about fifteen, close to sixteen, I sensed that he was paying attention to me in a different way than he had before.
He still held my hand when we walked and we still just talked about anything that came into our minds, but he seemed to try to find excuses to touch me. You know, helping me over a log, or lifting me down from a boulder so that our bodies brushed against each other.
I remember once when he did this I felt a hardness at the front of his trousers and wondered what it was all about.
I used to listen to the kids at school talking about sex. And saying that boys had this thing between their legs that got hard and they stuck it in a girl's hole. Then I understood why Uncle Harry liked to touch me so much.
"You're a beautiful girl," he told me one day as we sat by one of the large ponds on the property. I was wearing a skirt and blouse. He was sitting awfully close to me and we were lazing in the sun.
I remember I felt kind of uncomfortable having him so close. But I put that out of mind.
"You know, Chris," he said in a funny sort of voice, "you haven't kissed your Uncle Harry in years."
"I'm getting bigger," I said, as if that was some sort of explanation.
He continued to look at me.
"Is that the reason why you can't kiss me any more?" he wanted to know.
I thought about that for a while.
"I guess not," I said finally. "If you really want me to kiss you, I will."
Then Uncle Harry put his arm around me and pulled me very close up against him. My small breasts were against his side and I could smell the pipe smoke on him from when he smoked a pipe.
I puckered my lips and gave him a quick kiss on the lips. But instead of letting me go then, he pulled my face to him again and kissed me hard on the mouth.
I had a funny sensation when he did that. Sort of a tickling sensation over my skin. He held me there against him for what seemed like a long time. Then he let me go. But I noticed one of his hands slide over my breast as if by accident. But I thought it wasn't an accident.
"Maybe we'd better get back," he said. He seemed to be breathing quickly, you know, like he'd been running.
"All right," I said. I held his hand all the way back to the house. But we dropped hands when we went inside.
Uncle Harry didn't offer to take me for a walk for about a week. I got the impression he was trying to avoid me for some reason. I know now that he was frightened by the intensity of his sex response to his young niece, but back then I had my feelings hurt by his not wanting to walk with me.
Then about a week and a half after the walk when he'd kissed me, we went for another walk. This time, as soon as we were out of sight of the house, he put his arm around my waist so that we walked very close together. Once more we went down to the pond. And once more he put his arms around me and kissed me.
But this time he pressed me backwards until I was lying on my back and he was half on top of me. The kiss lasted for a very long time. And as we kissed I felt one of his hands move to my right breast and stay there for a brief moment.
Then I did something to him that convinced him to go further. I'd heard some of the kids at school talking about kissing. And they were saying that it was really fun if you stuck your tongue in your partner's mouth while you kissed. That was supposed to be really something to do.
I did it to Uncle Harry. Right there while he was half on top of me I opened my mouth a little and stuck out my tongue. The response was immediate. His arms pulled me harder to him and I felt his tongue come to touch mine and move around my mouth as we kissed.
We were no longer pretending, playing uncle and niece, we were kissing for real. I'd always liked Uncle Harry so it didn't bother me to have him kissing me this way.
I just lay there and let the strange sensation wash over my body. I could feel a tingling in my breasts and my loins felt funny and damp.
We kissed for a long time before Uncle Harry's hand once more came to my breast. Then he started unbuttoning my blouse so that he could get his hand inside. I stopped him.
"You'll wrinkle my blouse," I protested.
Uncle Harry looked hurt for a minute before he discovered what I intended to do. It seemed to me that if I didn't want my blouse to get mussed I'd better take it off. So I sat there unbuttoning my blouse and taking it off while Uncle Harry watched.
I could see his eyes grow large as he watched me strip down to my bra.
"Do you want me to take my bra off too?" I asked him innocently.
I really didn't see anything wrong in what we were doing. It seemed kind of fun to be undressing out in the open by the pond where no one could see us. It was like Uncle Harry was a young playmate of mine and we were playing a game. Though I was a little afraid that he'd be disappointed in the size of my breasts. They weren't very large.
He seemed unable to speak when I asked him that. He swallowed several times, then said, "If you'd like," just as if he wasn't dying to see me naked from the waist up.
"All right then," I said, and undid the strap of my bra and tossed it over to where I'd folded my blouse.
Uncle Harry seemed to lunge at me then. He took me in his arms and crushed my bare breasts to his chest as his tongue pressed into my mouth. It felt like his hand was all over me at once. All over my breasts and back and down by my buttocks.
Once more he pressed me down on my back. He leaned on one elbow over me, smiling down at me with a smile I'd never seen him use before.
"You're beautiful. I love you, Chris."
"I love you too, Uncle Harry," I said. I didn't realize at the time how he meant he loved me.
Then his mouth covered mine once more and his hand started down my body. He went down over my breasts, and then over my belly until his hand cupped between my legs. I didn't know what he was doing but I let him keep his hand there. Besides, it felt kind of good being touched there. No one had ever touched me there before.
We kissed and kissed and finally Uncle Harry started moving his hand on my mound. Just sort of squeezing it, gently but persistently.
"Can I look at you?" he asked, finally. He was breathing as if he'd just been in a race.
"Please, I just want to look at you," he said, his eyes all serious. It seemed like such an important thing for him.
"All right," I said, lying back and waiting to see what he was going to do.
Then he moved down so that he was kneeling between my legs. He lifted my skirt to my waist and for a few minutes just looked at my mound there, covered with the white cotton of my panties.
Then, slowly, he reached out a hand and touched me there again. Gently at first, then more insistently. I could feel new things happening to my body.
Finally he reached up with both hands and took hold of my panties. He started to pull them down. I wasn't sure what he had in mind but I lifted my hips so that he could take them off me.
Now I was lying there with my skirt bunched up at my waist, and completely naked everywhere else.
I lay there watching Uncle Harry. With both his hands he pressed my thighs apart as if trying to get a better view of my naked pussy.
He stayed like that for a long time. My thoughts started to wander, because it wasn't very exciting just lying there while he looked at me. I watched the clouds and started trying to picture the clouds as horses or sheep. I kept at this for a long time, and then I felt something new between my legs.
It took me completely by surprise and at first I couldn't tell what was going on. I looked down and there was Uncle Harry, his face pressed between my legs. He was kissing my mound. I could hear a strange sort of slurping noise as his mouth worked over my
I pussy. He licked at it and sucked at it and I could feel my body responding to his touch in a way I'd never felt before. It was as if all the energy in my body was being drained to that spot and he was sucking it out of my hole.
He kept this up for a long time. Soon I was wriggling under him and pushing at his head when he threatened to raise it.
One of his hands came up and squeezed my tit as he continued sucking at my hole. I felt his tongue explore the hole's entrance. I felt his fingers spreading the lips of my cunt as he continued to suck at it.
I was filled with sensational feelings and I spread my legs further apart as if this could make his tongue go deeper into my hole.
Then he was kneeling between my legs again. His hands were rubbing the front of his trousers. He was looking at me to see if I was going to protest him taking his cock out of his trousers.
"Have you ever seen a man?" he asked, meaning had I seen a man naked. "No," I told him, looking up at him. "Would you like to see me."
"All right," I said.
Uncle Harry stood up and undid his belt. Then he unzipped his trousers and stepped out of them. Then he took down his undershorts and I had my first real view of a man's genitals.
They didn't look the way I had pictured them, but as soon as I saw them I couldn't remember just how it was I had pictured them.
He bent down beside me now, and held his erect penis in one hand.
"Would you like to touch it?" he asked. I could see that his hand was slowly rubbing it up and down, up and down, as he knelt there.
"All right."
I felt a little hesitant about the whole thing. I wasn't sure what it would feel like in my hands. It was something like sticking your hand into a dark hole when you didn't know what might be in there.
Slowly, I reached out my hand. Then I wrapped my fingers around the hard flesh.
The hard cock felt surprisingly smooth to me. I had expected it for some reason to be rough to the touch, yet it was like silk. I ran my hand along its length like I had seen him do just a few moments before.
Uncle Harry closed his eyes.
"Oh yes, that feels so good. Chris, darling, it feels so wonderful!"
He kept his eyes closed for a long time as I stroked his penis. I half expected him to try and stick it in me like the kids in school said guys would. But he didn't seem to want anything more than to have me stroke it for him.
I could feel a funny throbbing in it as I stroked it. It was like a heartbeat that I felt each time my fingers traveled over its length.
"So wonderful, so wonderful," Uncle Harry kept repeating over and over.
I continued to stroke him, sitting there naked but for my skirt while my uncle knelt beside me offering his penis to my touch.
"Faster, darling," he said a little while later. "Oh, please, faster!"
I stroked him faster and that seemed to satisfy him for a while.
"Harder," he then demanded. "Do it fast and hard." His voice sounded strained, as if he could only speak through great effort.
"Oh yes, that's it. Oh, oh, oh!" he moaned.
Then I felt his whole body start to vibrate and I felt the wetness of his hot come squirting out over my small breasts as I continued stroking his cock.
"Oh, that's wonderful," he said, finally putting his hand on top of mine to stop my stroking motion.
"Oh Chris, I love you so," he said. Then, as if his mind had turned abruptly to practical matters, he said, "You'd better wash yourself off in the pond."
On the way back to the house Uncle Harry gave me a ten dollar bill, but he made me promise never to tell anyone what we had done together. I promised and stashed the money away under my mattress.
INTERVIEW TWO
NOTES:
It was immediately apparent from the tale that Chris related dining our first interview that from the very beginnings of her true awareness of sex, sexual activity and money were interlaced. It might not be venturing too far afield to say here that, given this initial sex-money experience, it was almost inevitable that Chris's further sexual activities would in some way take money into account.
Chris was dressed more neatly for her second interview. She wore makeup, but it was carefully applied and looked natural. There was more of the young girl in the picture of her than there had been at the first interview. Also, from the moment she entered my office for the second interview, it was apparent that she had lost a lot of her hostility towards me and towards telling her story. In fact, it looked as if she was beginning to enjoy relating these sex experiences. I guessed that she had kept almost all of what she was telling me a personal secret for many years, and the telling of it now took off a lot of inner pressure and guilt. As we talked I found myself liking the girl whose circumstances had turned her into a prostitute. I also felt that she had a chance to change her life significantly.
"Strange as it may seem," Chris started off the second interview, "Uncle Harry was not the first man I ever slept with."
"Oh?" I asked, interested.
"I think the poor guy was too scared to go all the way with me. If he'd only known at the time that he was having me masturbate him for ten bucks a throw while other guys were getting much more, and sometimes for less money. There was this one guy, the first I went all the way with, who picked me up in a movie theater...."
I used to go to the movies a lot on Saturday afternoons because there wasn't much else to do. This afternoon the movie wasn't much good. I was sitting there with my knees propped up on the seat in front of me, and I guess my skirt was hiked up more than was considered proper.
Well, this boy, Sam something-or-other, came in and sat next to me. He had a large bag of popcorn with him and for a while he just watched the movie, sneaking looks at me every once in a while.
Finally he got up the nerve to ask if I'd like some popcorn.
"Sure," I said, smiling at him. He was a good-looking boy. His hair was dark and he looked line an athlete. He was neatly dressed in chinos and a sports shirt. He looked very much like the typical clean-cut American boy.
"Not much of a movie, is it?" he ventured, after we sat eating popcorn for a while.
"No, it's not," I agreed. I looked over at him and smiled. Our eyes locked for a few moments as we returned each other's smile.
"Would you like to get out of here and go for a ride someplace?"
"Do you have a car?"
"Sure do," he said. "Well, it's my dad's but he's off on business and he lets me drive it whenever he doesn't need it for himself."
"Hey, that's neat," I said. I looked at him for another couple of moments.
"Well?"
"All right, let's go," I said.
We left the theater, tossing the emptied box of popcorn into a corner trashcan. Almost immediately he took my hand, saying, "This way," as he led me to his car.
The car was brand new. Or at least it looked brand new and I was impressed in spite of the fact that my own parents had a lot of money.
He opened the door for me and I climbed in, noticing that he was watching for a view of my thighs as I got into the car.
Then he circled around and got in behind the wheel.
"Well, where to?" he asked.
"You pick a place. You're driving," I told him.
I studied his face all the time he was driving. He had a handsome face and I thought I'd kind of like him. I also wondered where he was taking me and what he intended to do when we got there.
I wondered if he was going to offer me any money to do anything to him or not.
We drove for what seemed like a long time, and then he pulled off onto a dirt road that led into some woods.
"Not many people come here during the day," he said. "At night it's a lover's lane."
"Oh, really?"
"That's right. All the kids come here," he said. He switched off the engine and turned towards me, putting his arm across the back of the car seat.
"You're an attractive girl, do you know that?" he asked.
"I've been told that before," I said, just before he leaned over and kissed me.
Then his arms were around me, holding me to him, and our tongues were touching and pressing against each other. His hand came to my breast and soon found its way inside so that the flesh of his hand was against the nakedness of my breasts. I pressed myself against him.
We made out for a long time, but he didn't try to go beyond feeling my breasts. We kissed and kissed until I felt like my lips were numb. Then we pulled apart for a while and Sam lit me a cigarette.
"You're quite a kisser, you know that?" Sam said, handing me the cigarette.
"Thank you. You do all right yourself," I said, taking a couple of drags from the cigarette. "Let's get out and take a walk into the woods."
"Okay."
He sounded a little disappointed. I guess he wanted to just sit there and neck. The thought of that made me smile to myself. I had no intention of getting all worked up in the cramped space of a car seat. I'd much prefer to be outdoors, away from everyone, where you had a lot of room. I had been with Harry so many times by then that it seemed perfectly natural and expected that I should masturbate a boy off and get money for doing it.
As we walked I wondered if Sam would pay me for doing it to him.
We walked and smoked for a few minutes until I was sure that we were well out of sight of the road, and then I stopped and turned towards him.
"Is there anything you'd like me to do for you?" I asked right out.
"What do you mean?" he said.
"You know what I mean, silly. Do you have any money?"
"Sure, I get a good allowance." He looked at me and slowly I think he began to see what I was driving at.
"Do you want to look at me?" I asked as he still stood there.
There was a short silence.
"I mean," I said, "do you want me to take my clothes off?"
"Yeah, sure," Sam said, trying to be nonchalant about the whole thing. "All right. I will."
I was wearing a sweater and a skirt that day. I pulled the sweater up over my head and unhooked my bra. I could see he was watching me intently. I was sure he was surprised. He had probably counted on a little necking with a girl he'd picked up in the movies, and now here she was getting undressed in front of him. The money part didn't seem to bother him at all. He hadn't even asked how much it would cost him for me to undress for him.
I didn't even know myself how much I was going to ask for. I felt very excited. Very much like I was being daring and sinful.
Slowly, I undid the side of the skirt and slid it off taking my slip with it.
I could see that Sam was breathing harder and harder the more I took off.
I hooked my ringers in my panties and slid them down to my ankles, and then I stepped out of them.
"Well?" I asked.
"Well, what?" Sam managed to say. "How do I look?"
"Marvelous," he said. He took a step towards me and put his arms around me. I lifted my lips for a quick kiss.
"Sam?"
"Huh?"
"How much money do you have."
"I don't know. About fifteen dollars, I guess."
I don't think he quite had gotten the connection yet. Then he looked kind of strangely at me.
"Do you want to make love to me, Sam?" I asked. I pressed my naked body against him and moved a little bit. I could feel the hardness of his erection in the front of his pants.
"Yes, of course."
"Will you give me the fifteen dollars if I let you make love to me?"
He didn't answer for a few minutes. I went up on tiptoes and kissed him again. Then I slid my tongue in between his lips until he opened his mouth and kissed me passionately.
"All right," he finally managed to say. "All right, I'll give you the fifteen."
"So, Sam," I moaned, and pressed harder against him. Then I let him lower me to the grass. I lay there, my legs slightly parted, my arms behind my head to make my breasts seem larger than they were.
"Hurry up, Sam, baby, I'm waiting for you. Come on and get undressed."
I watched him as he took off his shirt and then unzipped his trousers. Finally he was standing above me, completely naked as I watched him.
I reached my arms out to him.
"Come on, Sam, come make love to me."
He lay beside me and his hands started roaming all over my body. When his hand went between my legs I opened my thighs so that he could explore that area more fully. I didn't want him to know that I'd never done this before, so I acted more heated up than I really was.
"Come on, baby, I can't wait for you to get inside of me," I said, just like I'd read they said in several books I kept hidden in my room.
"Come on, honey," I moaned. "Come on and make love to your baby."
I reached my hand down and stroked his penis until it was standing up good and hard. I could tell that he was nervous and I was sure that he'd never made love to a girl before, so it would be easy for me to fool him that I had had sex before when I hadn't.
"Come on top, lover," I said. That was more dialogue from the books hidden in my bedroom.
Sam rolled on top of me and I reached once more for his cock. A few strokes made it harder than ever.
I spread my legs as far as I could and guided the head of his prick to the entrance of my hole.
"Come on in, baby," I moaned. "I'm waiting for you."
Sam made a tentative thrust that took his prick part-way into my cunt.
"Come on, honey, all the way, shove it to me hard, baby," I told him.
I lay back and concentrated on the sensations that were going through my body.
There was a damp pressure of his lips on mine. And the touch of his tongue as it moved against my tongue. I sucked his tongue into my mouth and held it there, trapped, for a minute before I let it go. I could feel one of his hands working at my left breast. He was rubbing it and kneading it as if he couldn't get enough of the feel of it. I could tell that the nipple was hard because I could feel it pressing against the palm of his hand as he massaged my tit.
Then down below was the most exquisite sensation. I could feel my hole stretching as his cock moved in and out slowly, in and out. With each stroke it felt as if my cunt were getting more sensitive.
I could hear him talking into my ear. "Oh, darling, oh honey," he kept whispering.
"You're so good," I assured him. "It feels so good, I've never had a man like you before."
I moved under him. I raised my hips to meet each of his strokes, feeling the sensations cascading through my body and telling myself over and over that this is what it's about. I was lying there in the woods getting fucked by some guy I met less than an hour before. And he was paying me for it.
"You like it, baby," I said. "You like it like I give it to you?"
Sam didn't say anything but kept pounding at me, his large cock beating its rhythm inside me.
I wrapped my legs around his waist and just rode with the sensations, feeling him touch my breasts, feeling him deep inside me.
The longer he kept at it the harder he seemed to get. Then he was beating faster and faster. His breathing had speeded up tremendously and I felt him shoot off inside me as he moaned out loud.
I clutched my legs around him and held his cock deep inside until it started to get soft. Then he rolled away from me and lay there lighting a cigarette for each of us and watching the smoke curl up in the afternoon air.
"Do you always charge for it?" Sam asked after a long while of silence.
"Yes," I said.
"How come?"
"I don't know."
"Do you need the money?"
"Yes," I lied. I had a feeling that if I'd said no he'd have tried to get out of paying me and for some reason it was important that he pay me that fifteen dollars for having fucked me like he had.
After I finished my cigarette I went over to him and kissed his limp penis.
"Would you like to try it again?" I asked.
"For how much?" he asked, cynically.
"On the house," I told him. I don't know why I said that but maybe it was because I liked the guy.
I took his limp cock in my mouth and started to suck at it.
"Oh, wow, baby," Sam said. "Oh, shit!"
I continued stroking and sucking at him until he was hard again.
"You're good," Sam said.
"I want you to make love to me again. I want you to do it for free," I told him.
I felt kind of mixed up inside but I really did want him to fuck me for free.
That first time I couldn't have stood it if he hadn't paid me. I would have felt cheated. Then, after the first time, I would have felt cheated if he hadn't fucked me just because he wanted to, even after he'd had it once.
Soon we were pounding away together on the grass again. Our bodies sweated and slapped against each other. His cock was once more pounding deep into my cunt as we fucked and fucked as hard as we could.
"Oh shit," I cried out as I approached my orgasm, "oh holy shit!"
Sam slammed into me harder and harder. Then, when I thought I couldn't take any more, he slammed again and again. I came over and over as he continued to slam. I felt like I was floating in some ecstatic state. I felt like I was going to black out. And I felt as beautiful as I had ever felt all at one time.
I felt like I was going to come forever. Then, finally, I felt Sam come within me. We lay together for quite a while, just being with each other. Then we smiled, and them Sam said, "Do you still want the fifteen?"
"Of course," I said.
"Hey, you know, if you want to make some real money I can set you up with some dates. You know, guys who will pay you and pay more than fifteen."
"What's the catch?" I asked.
"I get twenty-five percent."
"And?"
"And all the free fucking I want."
"All right," I said. "It's a deal."
INTERVIEW THREE
NOTES:
We have seen that sex and money had become intricately intertwined in Chris C's mind. It was as if sex were not legitimate unless money changed hands. Thus, at an early age, she was well on her way to a life of prostitution.
On her third visit to me, Chris was dressed in slacks and a neatly tailored blouse, open at the neck. She had carefully applied makeup and I could see that her spirits had risen quite a bit from that first visit. I offered her a cigarette which she accepted as she sat down opposite me.
"Well, what would you like to talk about today?" I asked her.
"I'm not sure," she replied. She looked away for a brief moment, then looked back. "I can remember one afternoon..."
It was the first afternoon I really acted like a whore. Sam was the one who set it up. He'd gotten about five of his friends from school together and told them about this girl who was really wild if you'd just get together a couple of dollars. They all got together and put in ten bucks apiece. Then they all piled in Sam's car and picked me up. I felt very evil and sexy that day. I knew that they all wanted to have intercourse with me and that they were all willing to pay me for it.
In some strange way I think it made me feel wanted. You know, it made me feel like I was worth something if all these guys were willing to pay out ten dollars apiece just to spend some time with me.
One of the guys told us that we could use his house because his parents were away. The others thought that was a great idea.
I remember the drive to the house in that car with five boys. Each of them was looking at me in his own way. Each of them, I think, was trying to picture what it would be like to shove it to me. I'm sure some of them were surprised that I wasn't some ugly broad that Sam had picked up.
I remember I was wearing a cardigan sweater and a pleated skirt. It wasn't really a sexy outfit. I looked just the way I looked when I went to school. In fact, I had seen some of the boys who were to be with me that afternoon around school.
I didn't know them to talk to, but I knew them by their looks. One was in one of my math classes. Another was in a history class. None of them had paid too much attention to me. Now they were all paying a lot of attention to me.
The drive seemed to take a very, very long time. I was beginning to feel uncomfortable in the car with the five guys just waiting to get their hands on me. .
But finally we got there. I was relieved to be able to get out of the car. We all walked around the side of the house to the back door. One of the guys had a key and let us in. Then we all stood in the kitchen for a while, not knowing where we should go.
"There's a study through there," the boy whose house it was said.
The others didn't say anything.
"Or we could use one of the bedrooms upstairs," he said.
"Let's use one of the bedrooms," Sam suggested.
The others agreed and they led me up the stairs to the bedroom.
"In there," one boy said. "One of us will be in in a minute, just take it easy. Make yourself at home."
I went into the room by myself. I felt very strange in the unknown bedroom. I looked at the bed. It was a large double bed, neatly made. There was a long full-length mirror on the closet door and I looked at myself in it, asking if this was really me about to take on five guys, one after another, for money.
Through the closed door I could hear the guys mumbling among themselves. I couldn't make out the words but I was sure that they were talking about me. Maybe about how they couldn't wait to get into me, or something like that.
They'd said that they would give me time to get ready, so I just sort of wandered around the room for a few minutes. I looked things over.
As I looked around I was beginning to feel the anxiousness of what was to come sweep through my body, making my skin start to tingle.
I wondered whether I should stay dressed until the first boy came in, or whether I should undress and get into the bed to wait for them.
I finally decided to undress first and get into bed. I stood in front of the mirror as I pulled the cardigan off over my head. My breasts were still hidden by the thin material of my bra. I took that off and looked at myself in the mirror, naked from the waist up.
They're not so small, I told myself, rubbing the bra marks from my breasts. The nipples stood out as I rubbed them, and the red elastic marks that had been left by the garment slowly faded.
In fact, I told myself, you look kind of sexy standing there topless.
I smiled at myself. Then I undid my skirt and took it off, standing in front of the mirror clad only in my bikini briefs.
For some reason it seemed harder for me to divest myself of that last piece of clothing. Somehow I felt like I should keep my panties on.
For several seconds I just stared at myself. Then, coming to a decision, I swept my panties down over my hips, down my thighs, and off over my feet.
I examined myself in that full-length mirror. My waist was thin and my hips flared sexily from that small waist. I could see the heavy tufts of hair on my pubic mound and for a second it seemed wondrous to me that this hairy triangle was the target of all those guys' attention. So much so that they would pay ten dollars each just to stick their cocks into it.
Ten dollars apiece and all I had to do was lie there and pretend I was having a good time.
Then, after looking at myself for a few long minutes, I walked over to the bed. For some reason I turned it down very carefully as if I was afraid to disturb something. Then I climbed between the covers and waited.
About a minute or two later there was a knock at the door.
"Come in "
The door opened and one of the boys entered. He was shy-looking. The expression on his face told me that he wasn't quite sure he wanted to be there. It was obvious that he'd never been with a girl before and that he wasn't sure how he was supposed to behave.
I felt myself warm to him because of that. I mean, the poor boy would have really been traumatized if I had acted tough with him and teased him about his shyness.
I sat up in the bed and looked directly at him. I let my mouth move into a smile.
"Hi," I said, because I couldn't think of anything else to say.
"Hi," he answered, but he remained standing by the door, unsure of what was expected of him. He looked miserable.
I reached my arms out to him.
"Come on over here and sit on the bed by me," I told him gently.
"All right."
When he was sitting on the bed I took both his hands in mine. His palms were wet with perspiration and I could feel them shaking slightly.
"I know you're a little nervous," I told him. "This is the first time for you, isn't it?"
He nodded but wouldn't look me in the eye. Finally I reached out and with my fingers on his chin turned his face towards me.
"Don't be embarrassed," I told him. "I'll show you what to do. It hasn't been so long since my own first time that I don't remember what it's like."
He nodded and tried to force a smile. It didn't quite work.
"Would you like to look at me?" I asked him, for I was covered by the sheet.
He nodded again. But this time he managed not to look away from me and the attempt at a smile was much more successful. He was a good-looking boy when he smiled. I felt very warm toward him.
I pulled down the covers slowly so that I was lying completely naked in front of him. I thought his eyes were going to bug out of his head, but he managed to keep a little of his cool, all right.
His eyes roamed up and down my body, stopping at my breasts and at the dark triangle between my thighs.
"You've never seen a naked woman before, have you?" I asked him.
"No, I haven't," he managed to say.
"Why don't you get undressed and come on in with me? Then we can talk."
I knew that he was upset and if he wasn't handled right he might have trouble performing. Most men, I've found, brag a lot about their sexual powers, but there are very few men who haven't failed at least once in their lives. But none or few will admit it.
"All right," the boy said. He stood beside the bed and self-consciously started to undress. His hands were shaking so he was having a hard time getting the buttons of his shirt open.
I smiled up at him to encourage him.
"Don't worry, you don't have to rush things. The others can wait," I told him as I watched him undress. "By the way, what's your name."
"Johnny."
"All right, Johnny. You know, I think I like you. You're not pushy like some of the others."
Johnny smiled at this and continued to undress. When he was down to his shorts he seemed reluctant to go any further.
"What's the matter, Johnny?" I asked, trying to keep my voice soft and understanding. I didn't want to scare the boy off.
"I-ah ... I-" he stammered.
But I was sure I knew what was wrong. like many young boys he was afraid that I would laugh at the size of his penis because he didn't think it was very large.
For the life of me I don't know why the hell American boys and men are so fanatical about the size of their pricks. For shit's sake, it doesn't make a hell of a lot of difference when you're having sex, how big the damn thing is, as long as it can get in there. The walls of a woman's hole contract to fit.
"Don't be shy," I told Johnny.
Finally, after looking at me as if questioning whether or not I was making fun of him, Johnny took down his shorts and climbed into bed with me.
I took him in my arms and held his naked body against mine. Then I started running my hands up and down over his chest and stomach.
After several of these strokes I moved my hand down to his prick. It was still flaccid and I was sure that he was embarrassed by this.
I knew than that he was really afraid of failing and that fear of failing in itself might cause him to fail if I didn't do something to help him. I started kissing him, pushing my tongue deep into his mouth until he was returning my kiss as passionately as I was giving it to him. But my searching hand still told me that he was not ready to proceed. The longer this kept up, I knew, the harder it would be for him to succeed.
"Here, I have an idea," I told him. "You just lie there and I'll do all the work. I like doing that, you know, and there's no reason why the man shouldn't be able to just lie back and enjoy a woman, is there?"
"I guess not," Johnny said, but he was wary. I could almost see the thoughts going through his head. What if I can't get it up? She'll make fun of me? What if she tells the other guys that I couldn't make it?
I started kissing Johnny again. I knelt by his side and planted kisses all over his body, at the same time massaging him with my hands.
"Don't do anything," I told him. "Just lie there and let it happen to you."
Finally I was beginning to feel that he was starting to relax. My hands started caressing his genitals and I could feel the beginning of an erection coming on. So I turned my full attention to his cock.
I held it gently in one hand. Then I placed it between my lips and started sucking on it. I sucked gently at first, then, as his erection grew, I licked at it and circled it with my tongue.
I could feel Johnny's organ get hard within my mouth. And I felt pretty proud of myself. I continued working at his cock with my lips and tongue until I was sure that he could hold his erection. Then, instead of having him come on top of me, I climbed across him, straddling his hips and reaching down to guide his hard prick into the entrance of my hole.
Then I lowered myself onto it, feeling the walls of my cunt pushed aside by the hardness of his cock.
Johnny's eyes were closed as I moved myself up and down on the pole of his cock. His mouth was twisted into a smile and I felt good that he was making it with me. I knew he would be much more secure with girls after this.
Impaled on him, I increased my motions until his hands came to my hips and he started guiding how fast he wanted me to go.
He started thrusting his hips upward to meet each of my downstrokes.
Then he thrust harder and harder until I could feel the hot sperm shoot up inside me. Then, as he relaxed, I bent down and kissed him on the lips.
"You're pretty good, kid," I told him and climbed off. He didn't rush out. I let him take his time, and finally he left.
I had just come back from the bathroom when another boy entered the room.
"Hiya, baby," he said, swaggering over to the bed. "Man, you got a sweet bod."
I lay on the bed with the covers thrown off. I spread my legs and raised my knees.
"Come on, there. Let's fuck!" I said, thinking that was probably what he expected me to say.
He came over to the bed and threw off his pants and flung himself between my legs. As his hard prick sank into me I started thrusting my hips back and forth, hoping that I could bring him off as quickly as possible and be rid of him.
"Fuck me, baby," I moaned. "Oh, that's good," and I thrust my hips faster and faster until I felt him come inside me.
He rolled immediately away and got dressed without saying a word. Then he left and I waited for the next to come in.
CONCLUSION
I felt strongly that Chris needed some sexual education concerning her attitudes. Her outlook towards sex was stultifying to her, and she simply had to learn that she couldn't sell sex in order to enjoy it. She had to learn it was something to share lovingly.
The emotionality she displayed toward Johnny, the scared young boy, told me more about her than any other story she related to me. She was not, obviously, a hardened woman who could express no feelings. I told her, therefore, that she could probably respond to intensive psychotherapy very well.
She responded positively to this, and, since then, has been involved in a continuing process of progress towards health.
CASE NUMBER TWO
Linda T.
INTERVIEW ONE:
NOTES:
A mature-looking, lovely young woman walked into my office for her first interview, and said her name was Linda. Although I already knew that, I smiled and said hello. I could not keep my eyes from wandering to her striking bust-line and her attractive face. Even so, her smile and eyes were nothing compared to that bust. It must have been one of the cores of her problem.
She seemed to be a very unhappy girl, in spite of her youth and beauty, and in addition, had a nervous condition.
"I don't know what to say," she said to me, nervously admitting her inability to speak to a counselor of any sort.
I attempted to put her at ease by offering her a cigarette, and she took it, lighting it with shaking fingers and smiling anxiously at me as she did so.
"What's bothering you, Linda?" I asked almost hesitatingly. I didn't want to push her before she was ready, but on the other hand, I felt she needed some help.
Linda looked down-she seemed unable to answer me. Her lap squirmed nervously, and the feeling that I got was that she was going through a great deal in her mind-a great deal that she simply could not, as yet, share with me.
"You realize I hope," I said, "that nothing you say here will leave this room."
"I know that ... but it's hard to get talking about your personal life with a stranger."
"Sometimes," I told her, "it's easier with a stranger than with someone you know."
She thought about that for a minute and dredged through her small purse for a pack of crumpled cigarettes. She lit one nervously.
"Does your problem have anything to do with sex?" I asked her right out. It is surprising how many times you can tell if a patient's problem is sexual or not. There's an exaggeration of evasiveness that does not appear in what people consider "Less private" areas of their lives.
Linda did not answer at first but she nodded her head slowly.
"Yes," she said after a long pause, "it does have to do with sex."
"And you find that something hard to talk about?" I asked her.
"That's right."
"Well why don't you just start somewhere ... anywhere and just start talking about yourself and maybe the sexual part will come more easily.
She started talking about herself. About her job. About what she liked to eat and what she liked to wear. Several times I thought she was going to approach the subject of sex but then she would shy away from it again.
Finally she started talking about her early boyfriends.
"Frank was about my third boyfriend ... That is serious boyfriend in high school," she explained." It seemed to me at the time that he was everything that a girl could possibly dream of having for a boyfriend. He was handsome and popular. He was on the football team. You know. All that kind of silly stuff."
I nodded my encouragement for her to go on.
"He was the first boy I ever had relations with ... but I didn't have relations with him right away." She stopped for a minute.
I waited her out realizing that if I said anything at this point I might destroy her train of thought and that would throw the conversation away from the sexual sphere again.
"I can remember the first time," she said, "almost as if it were last night...."
We went to the drive in movies a lot. And we used to neck and pet pretty heavily. But this night it seemed that things were even hotter than they had been before. His hands were inside my blouse and I could feel the warmth of his palms against the bareness of my nipples. And I could feel my nipples standing straight up in excitement as his finger kneaded the flesh.
I can remember telling myself that I had better stop him soon or we would get carried away. But I didn't want him to stop.
Reluctantly I pushed his hand away though, and for a couple minutes sat there in my car. My blouse open and one breast lifted outside my bra. I was breathing very hard and my body seemed to be tingling all over. Frank seemed to be a little gruff about being pushed away and he lit a cigarette. Kind of sitting farther away from me than he usually did. I sat there for a long time looking over at him.
"Frank, I'm sorry," I said.
He didn't answer me right away. I was beginning to feel so bad about it. I didn't want him to feel that I didn't want him. I did want him. But I was very frightened that we'd get carried away.
"Oh, Frank, I love you. I'm sorry," I said. I really did feel at that time that I loved him.
He seemed to important to me and the though of losing him was unbearable. I used to write late at night in my diary how much I loved him and how much I hoped that someday we could be married and have a place of our own. "Frank?"
He had finished his cigarette now and he flicked it out the window. Then he turned to me. His eyes looked right into mine then down at the one bare breast I hadn't recovered.
"You turn me on so much, baby," he said, "I just can't control myself. He tentatively reached out one hand to touch my bare breast again.
I couldn't stand the touch. It excited me so much.
"Oh Frank," I moaned and slid back into his arms. His hand kneaded my naked breasts and his lips locked on mine, his tongue entering my mouth and searching mine out.
I felt as if my body was going to melt into his. We kissed and kissed so deeply until I had to break away because I was having a hard time breathing.
"Please, baby," Frank begged, "please I need you so very much."
I leaned into him again. His hand this time went to my knee and up under my skirt. I had always stopped him when he tried to put his hand up under my skirt before but somehow I couldn't stop him this night. I felt so much in love with him and my body was so excited I could barely control it. I felt like I just wanted to die there feeling the way I did. But I also felt that I had to press on. That there was more to ?t and we could work towards it.
I let my thighs spread a little as I felt the gentle touch of Frank's fingers on the soft flesh of my inner thigh. His hand stayed there for a while just resting there, giving me time to get used to his touch. Meanwhile my breasts were hard up against his chest and his tongue was doing wild crazy things inside my mouth. I could feel my whole body straining against his. Pushing as if trying to go right through his muscular body.
Then his hand was moving again up under my skirt. I could feel his fingers moving upwards high and high until in a shocking moment they brushed against the mound inside my underpants.
I forced myself to relax. I told myself that I could stop him any time I wanted to.
Soon his hands came up to my breasts again until he had both of the large pendulous breasts outside my bra. His lips went down and started sucking at each nipple in turn. Chills ran down my body from my breasts to that spot he had touched between my legs.
"Oh, Frank I love you." I cried out. "Oh Frank don't stop please don't stop."
Emboldened now, he returned his lips to my mouth and once more one hand ventured down under my skirt until his fingers pressed against my mound. Then his whole palm pressed against it and I found myself spreading my legs wider to accommodate his hand.
"Let me take them off, baby," Frank said.
At first I wasn't sure what he meant. Then I realized that he wanted me to take off my panties so that he could touch my nakedness there.
"No, Frank, we shouldn't," I said. But we both knew that my protest was a feeble one.
As if to further persuade me to do what he wanted he pressed his palm harder against my mound. I could feel an electrical sex charge sweep through my body. I could feel my body needing to touch him. I could feel my whole personality wanting to be one with his.
"Please, don't make me," I begged knowing that I had no more will to resist.
It's all right because I love him, my mind was telling me. It's all right, we'll get married someday and it won't make any difference.
"What if someone comes?" I asked him suddenly a little frightened at being found without my panties and with my breasts exposed.
"No one will come," Frank assured me, and pressed his hand harder up between my thighs.
"Oh Frank," I moaned and my lips searched out his. My arms went around his neck and I kissed and kissed him as his hand stroked the bare flesh of my thigh and traveled up until his fingers found the waist band of my panties.
"Please, Frank."
But it was too late for both of us. Almost involuntarily, I raised my hips off the seat so that Frank could pull down my panties.
When he had gotten them down to my knees I pulled away from him.
"I'll do it." I said. I sat up and took my panties off the rest of the way. Then I tucked them into my handbag and turned back to him.
Almost immediately his hand was up under my skirt again stroking and touching in ways that I had never felt before. I could feel myself getting damp down there. And strange incongruous thoughts were running through my head at the same time. The first was I kept telling myself. He's touching my vagina. Then, he's touching my pussy. Then, I shouldn't be doing this.
All the while his insistent fingers kept playing at me as our tongue battled each other for possession of each other's mouths.
Then I felt the lips of my mound parting a little in preparation for penetration. I was beginning to be scared. I'd never gone this far with a boy before and I wasn't sure anymore that I could stop him before we went all the way.
What's he going to do next, I wondered, pressing myself closer to him and letting my legs be spread even wider by his hands.
I was vaguely aware of being uncomfortable in the front seat of the car. And I had a quick thought that it was impossible to go all the way because the steering wheel would be in the way.
Then abruptly, I felt the tip of one of Frank's fingers play at the entrance to my hole. I knew that the hole was damp and open to him and I began to feel afraid. I stiffened as I felt his fingers start to penetrate me. At first he just slid his finger in a fraction of an inch. Then my body stiffened. He kept his finger slightly inside me waiting for me to relax.
"I love you," he murmured in my ear.
"Oh, do you?" I cried. "Oh, Frank, do you?" I wanted the answer. I wanted him to say it. Even if it wasn't true I wanted him to say it because then I would have a reason for letting him continue.
The sensations in my body seemed to be building to a high tight pitch as we held each other for a minute. One of Frank's fingers slightly slid into me.
"Yes, I love you," he repeated.
I started to relax then. I could almost feel each muscle of my body relaxing in turn as our lips met once more and our tongue engaged and intertwined.
"I love you," Frank repeated.
I felt his finger insistently going further inside of me and I felt the walls of my hole giving way before it, letting him enter.
Then our bodies were pressing face to face against each other as Frank arched himself off the seat of the car. His finger was all the way in now and he was whirling it around and around.
He was pressing me back onto the seat, as if wanting me to he down.
I resisted him. I took his tongue in my mouth and sucked at it and spread my thighs so that his hand could go inside my hole. But at that point I didn't want him to go any further.
"Please Linda ... oh please." Frank said, then his other hand came and took one of mine and brought it to the front of his pants. I could feel the hard throbbing bulge of his cock under the material.
"Oh Frank," I moaned. I started rubbing his cock through the material of his trousers. Up and down, not too hard because I didn't want to hurt him. I kept at this for a couple minutes, then he pushed my hand away and his own hand unzipped his fly. He brought out the throbbing prick and then guided my fingers back around it.
"Please Linda, please." I could feel him arch himself up as my fingers started up and down on his large prick. Up and down, up and down.
Once more his hand was deep inside me and he was pressing me back onto the seat.
"No, Frank," I begged. But I felt that all the strength had gone out of my body.
"Oh, please, please." Frank begged.
I felt myself going back further and further. Sliding down onto the front seat of the car. My hand was still on Frank's cock and I was still rubbing it. "Oh Frank."
Then I was lying down on the seat. I remember being a little surprised that we fit.
Frank's hand was still deep inside me. His finger was moving in and out in and out and my body was beginning to vibrate under his touch.
I felt completely unable to resist now. I felt his body pressing against mine and my body seemed to be arching up against his.
Then his hand was no longer inside my hole. Both his hands were pressing my thighs apart so that he could fit his body between my legs.
"Raise your legs." he told me.
I did.
I love him, it's all right. I told myself this over and over.
Then came that first touch of the head of his cock against my cunt hole.
Be gentle, Frank, please." I said. I felt the entrance of my cunt stretching to accommodate the largeness of the head of his cock.
"Oh God," I said. I had a sudden moment of panic. I didn't want to do this. I didn't want to go all the way.
"No Frank," I cried. I tried to twist my body away and raise it to get him to get off but all the motion did was drive his hard prick deep into the tunnel of my cunt.
"Oh," I cried but this time it was different. It was an expression of pleasure. I could feel all of him hard inside me.
At once he started pumping in and out, in and out of my cunt. His large cock almost going all the way out before he once more slammed it deep into me as far as it could go. My legs were up in the air. And I had a fleeting image that we must look ridiculous. But then my body was being swept away be the sensation of having his cock inside me. I started matching his thrust with thrusts of my own. I thrust harder and harder.
We were no longer kissing and I could feel Frank's hot breathing on the side of my neck as he pumped in and out of my hole.
I moaned and writhed under him completely carried away from the sensation. Then I felt his strokes becoming faster and faster. His breath was gasping against my face. Harder and harder.
Then there was one gigantic stroke of his penis and I could actually feel the hot sperm from his cock shoot up high into the tunnel of my cunt.
He pulled away almost immediately and I began to cry.
INTERVIEW TWO:
NOTES:
So far Linda had related only a rather typical story of how a young girl can loose her virginity unintentionally if the situation is right. The fact that she succumbed to Frank's obvious charms was not at all surprising for any girl. It did not in the least give me any material to go on in diagnosing what kind of sexual problem Linda might have. She certainly related that she was warmly sexual and experienced a lot of pleasure from the sex relation despite her fears at it being the first time.
When Linda came in the second time she seemed even more solemn than she had the first time. This gave me an indication that she planned to reveal something significant to me and was afraid that I would in some way judge her actions as being wrong or immoral.
She sat opposite me chain smoking almost all the way through the second interview.
"All right, I guess, was her answer to my question about how she was feeling.
"Did you feel any better after our last interview?" I wanted to know.
"A little bit. But we really didn't get very far did we?" she said.
"I think you can be a good judge of that." I told her. "Why don't we start off from where we ended last time."
"All right."
"Did you continue to have sexual relations with Frank after that initial one?"
"Yes. That was in the summer when we first had sex together and I succeeded in convincing myself that after all we were in love. A couple of times of course I tried to resist having sex with him just to prove that I could do it, but in the end I always gave in."
"I see," I said. "Go on."
"Well, Frank was going away to college that fall and I still have a year of high school left. We didn't have any agreement about going steady or anything like that but we did promise to hold vacations open for each other.
Well once school started I started dating again. There was a boy named Ted. He was quite a good friend of mine. You know a friend as opposed to a boyfriend. We always got along quite well and we started seeing a lot of each other. We sort of had an agreement and he knew I was "in love" with Frank and was just filling time until Frank could come home from college for a vacation.
"I really liked Ted. He was a neat guy and we got along very well. We even necked a bit now and then. I didn't see anything wrong with that."
She paused for a moment.
"You know, we were friends and I couldn't see any harm in just kissing and stuff with him. After all, he didn't have any real girl friend at the time. We used to alive a lot of fun together and I figured it was safe, but somehow things got a bit out of hand. . .
Ted's mother worked in the evenings. His father had died a couple years before. We used to go up to his room in the evenings and do our homework and watch TV or just neck for a while. Kids are always doing something like that.
About a month after Frank had left Ted and I went up to his room. We had all our homework done for a change and we just propped ourselves up on the bed to watch some talk show on TV. There wasn't much on and, well even the show we were watching didn't hold our interest very well.
The way we were sitting, Ted had his arm around me and I lay my head on his shoulder. We were both smoking, I remember. Then Ted took the cigareete out of my hand. Then he lifted my chin up and kissed me.
At first I thought it was just going to be a simple little kiss but we held it for a long time. And then our tongues started getting into it. I could feel his arms around me holding me to him and I felt all warm and tingling all over as we kissed.
I guess I should have known then that more was going to happen between us that I wanted to. There was something about the way he kissed me that night that was different that the way we usually kissed each other.
I remember he held me close to him for a very long time, kissing my cheek and kissing my neck. It felt very good to be there in his arms. To feel my body pressed against him like that.
Then his lips found mine again, and his tongue came into my mouth. As we kissed one of his hands moved down my front until he was cupping one of my large breasts in his hands.
I was a little surprised. He'd never felt me up like that before. And I had thought we'd had an agreement. At first I was a little ticked off at him for having broken the agreement but then I just sort of let my body metl into it, enjoying the touch of his fingers on my breasts.
His other arm was around me holding me very close to him. And I could feel the harness of his cock inside his pants as it pressed against one of my legs.
Something about us being there and feeling his excitement and feeling the touch of his hands on my breast made me feel very turned on and very sexy. like it was something I couldn't control.
After a long time of kissing he pulled back from me and just sort of sat there looking at me.
"Wow," he said, "you're the greatest." He just kept looking at me. Then he reached his hands out and started to undo the buttons at the front of my blouse.
Somehow I couldn't bring myself to stop him. Thought my mind kept telling me that we shouldn't be doing this. That I was in love with Frank and that if Frank knew he would be furious with me. He'd really be jealous.
But still I didn't stop Ted from undoing all the buttons of my blouse. I even helped him as he pushed the blouse off over my shoulders so that I was sitting on the bed in a bra and panties and skirt.
We sat there opposite each other for what seemed like many long minutes. Then, without really making a decision or thinking about it, I reached back behind myself and unhooked the strp of my bra. I let it fall away from me and knelt there in front of him, my breasts bare.
"They're beautiful." Ted said reaching both hands out to touch them. "They're so large but so firm." he continued as if in awe of them.
It made me feel very good to be admired like that. I felt somehow was I sat there topless that I had made some kind of decision.
Then Ted started to take off his shirt. He did it slowly never taking his eyes off my breasts and their large erect nipples.
Once he had tossed his shirt away, Ted came to me and held me in his arms. My bare breasts pressed up hard against his bare chest. It felt very good to be like that with him. Sort of like it made a bond between us.
Then he started kissing me again. Longer and more intimately this time. The tongues were entwined as we kissed and I could feel the hardness of my nipples against his chest.
I was also beginning to feel an excited tingling between my legs.
I don't know when I made the decision but at one point that evening I knew that I was going to let Ted make love to me. I don't know why I made the decision. But I know that I made it. Strangely enough, once I had made it I didn't feel guilty about it. I mean, I didn't feel like I was cheating on Frank or anything.
I was only aware of Ted and me there together. I was aware of the friendship we had with each other. And I was aware of the harness of his chest against my breasts.
We kissed for a long time. Then I initiated things to go farther. I reached out with one hand and gently lay it on the bulge at the front of his trousers.
I'm sure I heard him moan a little under my touch. We were still kneeling facing each other and I was stroking his penis through his trousers. Then I stopped and undid his fly and reached in so that I could hold the bare hardness of him in my hand.
"Let's get undressed, Ted," I said looking him straight in the eye. I said it softly. It was almost like I was pleading for him to make love to me. Like I was the seductress. "Please Ted, let's hurry."
We both got up from the bed and I didn't watch while Ted took off his trousers. But I undid my skirt and let it drop to the floor. Then with a growing feeling of excitement I pulled down my panties. Then I crawled back onto the bed. Within a minute Ted and I were kneeling facing each other again. But this time we were both naked.
I looked down and I could see the hardness of his erection sticking up from between his legs. I reached out and touched it.
Then, without knowing why I did it I leaned forward and touched my lips to the head of his penis. It felt smooth and nice under my lips
I could remember reading books in which women did things to guy's penises with their mouths. And I was in a strange type of mood for me. I wanted to do it to Ted.
So I leaned down again. This time I took half the length of his hard f penis in between my lips. I started moving my lips up and down over the hard shaft. Up and down up and down feeling the throbbing hardness of it.
Then Ted's hands were on the back of my head. He was pressing my head downward so that more and more of his cock would fit into my mouth. I took as much as I could into my mouth.
Then I started swirling my tongue around the hard shaft. Then I sucked on it as if sucking through a straw.
I could hear Ted's breathing above me. His breath was coming in short gasps as if he were being somehow tortured by the proceedings below.
"Oh God, Linda," he gasped. "Oh my God, please don't stop."
I worked my mouth faster and faster on his cock for a while then I stopped and looked up at him.
"Ted, please make love to me." I said in a soft pleading voice.
He looked at me as if he were in shock. I don't think he could believe that this naked girl in front of him, the girl who had just been sucking at his cock could be the same girl he had been friends with for so long.
"Please, Ted." I begged. "I want you to make love to me. I need you to."
With what was almost a moan, Ted reached his arms out to me and held me to him. I could feel the full length of our naked bodies together. I could feel the hardness of his cock pressing at my mound.
We started kissing again. Kissing deep and hard. Tongue entwined and our bodies pressing and twisting against each other.
"Now, Ted, please," I said.
I pulled away from him a little and lay down on my back. My legs were slightly spread but not to blatantly so. For a moment or two my mind kept asking me why I was doing this. How could I be behaving like this when I was supposed to be in love with Frank? How could I be lying naked on Ted's bed and begging him to make love to me?
But then Ted came towards me and lay half on top of me and my mind stopped asking questions. Instead it was filled with the most pleasant sensations of having a male naked against my own nakedness.
I reached down and wrapped my fingers around his hard cock. I started to rub it slowly up and down feeling the throbbing excitement of it.
"I've never done it," Ted told me, embarrassed.
For a minute I was afraid that he was going to loose his erection. He seemed a little frightened. And very unsure of himself.
"Don't worry," I told him softly, "I'll help you.
I gently guided him over until he was lying between my spread legs. Then I reached down and wrapped my fingers around his cock and brought the head of it to the entrance of my vagina.
I didn't want to hurry him. I stroked his cock several times because it seemed to be going a little flaccid from his fear. Then as I stroked it and pressed my tongue into his ear his cock regained its full hardness and I brought my hips forward. The action caused the hard penis at the entrance to my hole to press further into my cunt.
I moaned myself as I felt the width and length of it pressing back the walls of my hole.
"Yes, Ted, that's wonderful." I moaned encouragement. "Oh, yes, that feels so good ... don't stop just keep stroking slowly.
I could hear Ted's breathing becoming more regular. And felt that he was becoming more sure of himself now that he was hard and up inside me.
"You're fucking me, Ted, you're fucking me," I moaned as he strokes became more strong and sure.
I could feel my whole being concentrating between my legs. Concentrating on the exquisite sensation of Ted's cock moving evenly in and out of the damp tunnel of my cunt.
"Oh, God, Ted, don't stop." I moaned again and again.
He was beginning to stroke harder. His breath was hot on my neck and I could feel his whole body acting as a battering ram slamming his cock deep inside me again and again.
"Harder, baby, please harder," I begged. And Ted's cock increased it's rhythm within me.
"Fuck me, fuck me hard," I moaned. I was getting so pent up I could hardly stand it. I felt as if I could take his whole cock inside me. I felt as if I wanted to take all of him into my body. I wanted all of him to keep fucking me ... just keep on fucking me forever. I couldn't help myself.
My legs were straight up in the air as Ted pounded between my thighs. I felt so wonderful.
Ted's mouth moved down to one of my breasts and I felt him sucking at the nipples as his even strokes filled my cunt with exquisite sensations.
I thrashed and writhed under him. I wrapped my legs around him and held him deep inside me, feeling the full length of his large prick inside my wet cunt.
He pounded again and again.
I could feel his testicles banging against my buttocks as his strokes became harder and faster.
I dug my fingernails into his back, feeling the sensation of possessing him. Of having him in me and taking me at the same time. I felt like conqueror and conquered at the same time.
Then I could feel the tension in myself coming to an unbearable pitch. Every muscle was tuned tightly to a perfect pitch. Every sense of my body was tuned into the fucking that was going on inside me. Attuned to the long strokes and the almost painful withdrawals of the cock within me.
Then Ted's mouth found mine and our tongues thrashed at each other in a frenzy as our genitals slammed and pounded against each other.
We were both building to a pitch. But just before we got there we'd lie still and let the sensation subside a little before going on.
I wanted it to last forever. I felt that it was one of the most wonderful moments of my life to just be there, my legs in the air with a man pounding between them, filling my hole with his cock the way the world intended.
Once more we built almost to the breaking point. And once more we stopped to allow things to calm down a little. Then we started over. I felt almost unbearably sensitive to the movement of the shaft of his cock within the tunnel between my legs.
I was beginning to be able to feel the muscles of my tunnel starting to contract around the invading shaft and I knew that I could not hold out much longer.
"Now, Ted. Oh God, now." I cried out.
Ted's stroke immediately quickened. It was hard and fast. Each stroke immediately quickened. Each stroke took his cock as deep as it could go into my cunt. I was aware that my legs were flailing in the air but I didn't care.
"Fuck me faster, harder," I kept repeating. Then my whole body exploded as I felt Ted explode within me. Every muscle in my body vibrated. And I felt like I passed out for a split second just from the pleasure of my own orgasm. I could feel myself filled with Ted's semen.
We stayed in each other's arms for a few minutes then sat up to light cigarettes.
INTERVIEW THREE
NOTES:
After Linda related the first incident of intercourse with Ted, I was sure that there would be a pattern immerging pretty soon. It wasn't so much that she had sexual relations with another man while her boyfriend was away. It was the way it happened. It was a decision made that she had not been conscious of making. This to me pointed towards a possibility of promiscuity. This despite the fact that nothing up to this point would have really supported such a diagnosis. It was only during the third interview that the true pattern became clear.
Linda seemed much more at ease during the third interview. She did not chain smoke as she had at the first two and she seemed much more comfortable talking now with me about her sexual exploits which I was by then sure were at the base of her unhappiness.
"I've had a pretty good week," she declared sitting down opposite me.
"Any particular reason?" I wanted to know.
"Nothing that I can put my finger on."
I had the feeling then that she was trying to avoid something despite her apparent ease with me.
She tried to keep the conversation on the subject of the just preceding week. I continued to have the feeling that she was trying to deep from telling me something important about herself.
"We don't we take up your story where we left off last time."
Her expression said almost literally, "I can't avoid it any longer."
"There was this party," she said, apparently deciding that it was better to dive right in than wade in slowly. "That was when it became clear to me that I might have a problem. A sexual problem...
Frank was back from college. And we had some wild bouts of sex together. Of course I didn't ell him that I had sexual intercourse with Ted and a couple of the other guys that I'd dated while he was away. And I didn't question him about what he had been up to. I guess mostly because I didn't want to have to answer questions from him.
"At any rate we went to this absolutely wild New Year's eve party. It was being given by a friend of Frank's. A tall very bright guy. He wasn't good looking in the way that Frank was, but he was an attractive guy. I don't really remember his name right now but I think it was something like Richard or Robert. I'll call him Richard. Anyway, I could tell from the first time Frank introduced me to him that he was attracted to me. He really looked me up and down smiling all the while he did it.
"You certainly have good taste," Richard told Frank. And Frank thanked him.
We had arrived at the party later than most of the people. And almost everybody had already had a couple of drinks. Richard pushed two on us telling us to catch up and join the fun that the night was just beginning and it promised to be one of the best parties that he'd ever given.
Frank told me that Richard had a reputation of giving some of the best parties around so I was looking forward to having a great time.
I had been to parties with Frank before and knew that we would not be spending the whole night together. At least not at the party. He always said that there was little sense in a couple going to a party if they were just going to spend all their time together with each other.
I didn't mind this because I really like parties. Besides there was something that I found attractive about Richard.
About an hour after we had arrived Frank was deep in a conversation with a circle of people. It told him that I was going to go get a refil for my drink and see who I could find interesting to talk to.
Frank agreed and said that he'd come looking for me later. He kissed my cheek and I was off, first to the bar and then to find Richard.
I'm not sure why I was so attracted to Richard. But I knew that I wanted to find him. Of course when I first went to look for him I had no intention of having sexual relations with him.
I found him out on the patio. He was just breaking away from a group of people and I intercepted him before he could get back inside.
"Well," he said as I stopped him, "what has happened to your date?"
"Oh Frank's in the middle of one of those conversations he's always getting involved in," I told Richard, "You know trying to solve all the problems of the world at a party."
There must have been a little bitterness in my voice because Richard smiled and said, "Well, then, maybe we can have a chance to get to know each other." There was definitely a hint of a pass in that and I probably should have cooled him down a little but I didn't. Instead I encouraged him.
"That would be nice," I said. And I slipped my arm through his and we started inside.
"By the way," He said, stopping again, "have you seen my study?"
"No I haven't but I've heard about it," I told him. Richard who was an editor in a small publishing house had built a study-office for himself in what used to be a summer house. It was heated and kept just for him.
"I have it to get away from everyone." he told me. "I'd like to take you out to go see it if you'd like."
"All right," I said.
"Let's leave our coats and run for it," Richard said. And I followed him outside the enclosed patio out into the cold snow of winter. We sprinted across the snow. Cold wind whipped all around us as we headed for the seclusion of the summer house.
"Oh shit where's the key." Richard said as we stood suddenly jumping up and down to keep warm outside the door of the summerhouse. "Oh, here it is."
"Hurry up, I'm freezing, " I told him. My arms were wrapped around myself and I kept hopping up and down as fast as I could to fight the cold.
Then the door was opened and we hurried inside slamming the door behind us.
"There that's better." Richard said.
I was still holding my arms around me, but soon a toasty warmth of the summerhouse with its conversion to winter use thawed me out.
Richard, to help the progress, rubbed his hands up and down my arms.
"I do most of my home working out here," Richard said. He kept an arm around me as he showed me around the room. There were all sorts of book shelves etc. All in all it was a very masculine place.
Against one wall there was a couch. It was black leather and worn. It looked very lived-on and I wondered how many women Richard had brought out here. And I wondered how many women had laid on the couch with their legs up.
Now why was I thinking like that, I wondered. Was I going to lay there myself?
No, that was ridiculous. Why would I want to have sex with my boyfriend's best friend?
I couldn't answer any of my own questions yet I knew somehow that Richard was going to make a pass at me and that I wasn't going to resist.
What if frank was looking for me while I was having sex with Richard?
What if someone told Frank where we'd gone?
I didn't want to think about that. I leaned into Richard. Then he turned me towards him and I knew that he was going to kiss me.
I allowed my lips to part as his lips met mine so that his tongue could come into my mouth. Immediately his hands were at my breasts, squeezing them gently.
For a minute I wondered why men always went after my breasts. Somehow I had been blessed with large breasts and they kept the men coming.
I could feel myself pressed full length against Richard and I could feel his hard on. I reached down and touched it. Then he lead me over to the couch. But to my surprise he sat down on it first.
"Here, my dear ... kneel down here." he said, indicating the floor in front of him.
At first I didn't get the idea. Then I saw Richard taking his erection out of his pants. Then I knew that he wanted me to suck him.
"Please my dear." he said.
I kneeled in front of him. I'd done this before so there wasn't any reason why I shouldn't do it for Richard.
I knelt in front of him and took his large hard cock into my hands.
I moved my fingers up and down over it a few times, then bent my lips to it. It tasted salty as I took it into my mouth.
"Oh darling, that's so good. Oh darling." Richard started repeating over and over.
I licked the underside of his cock and then took it into my mouth again. I sucked at it and ran my tongue around it then sucked on it some more.
My fingers played with his hairy testicles as he sat there watching his cock going in and out of my mouth. The shaft was smooth and wet from my saliva.
I kept this up for what seemed like a long time. Then I expected him to stop me and to have me he on the couch while he screwed me. But he didn't stop me and as I tried to raise my head he pressed it back down so his prick sank into my mouth again.
Then his hands were guiding my head up and down up and down faster and faster.
I tried to keep up the rhythm but soon he was thrusting it harder and harder into my mouth. Then I knew that he was about to come. I tried to pull away, but his hands held me fast, his throbbing prick deep into my mouth and it pumped it's load of come into my throat.
I thought I was going to be sick, but I choked back the sickness., Slowly I got up to my feet.
"I want a drink," I told him. I wanted something to take the coating of sperm out of my mouth.
"You're marvelous, dear." Richard said. One of the best, I want you to know that."
"I think you." I tried to smile at him but it didn't quite come off. I felt used but in a way it made me feel more excited. like it was what I had been looking for.
"Don't worry," Richard told me, "I won't tell Frank about this ... but maybe some day we can get together again, huh?"
"All right," I said, hating myself a little for saying it. I really had no urge to suck his cock again. I liked my sex straighter than that.
As soon as I'd had a drink I went back to the house looking for Frank. I finally found him in another group of people deep in conversation. I went up to him.
"Hi, how you doing?" he asked.
I smiled. "Fine."
"Me to," Frank said and turned back to the group. I decided to go into the kitchen and make myself another drink. I needed one.
I fixed myself a strong drink, then headed upstairs to find the bathroom.
When I came out of the bathroom there was a man standing there I hadn't seen before.
"Hi, there," he said with a slightly intoxicated leer on his face and in his voice. He was about middle aged. You can find many of the same type at any party.
I smiled at him.
He continued to smile.
"Were you waiting for me to be finished?" I asked him for he was making no move to go into the bathroom.
"I was," he said, "But now the urge has suddenly left me. It's been replaced." He smiled so that if I chose I could take it as a party joke and move on past him.
"Oh?" I said instead. "And what might that be?"
He took a step towards m. I didn't back off and didn't try to stop him. He came right up to me and kissed me firmly on the lips.
Then he wrapped his arms around me and kissed me more passionately.
I pushed him back a little way.
"I don't think the hall in front of the bathroom is the place for this," I said.
The man looked around and found a door to his right. He looked at the door for almost a minute and tried the knob. It turned and the door opened.
The door lead into a small sewing room. There was only two chairs and a sewing machine in there, but the man took my hand and brought me inside anyway.
Then he pressed me up against the wall and started kissing me again.
Suddenly his hands were all over me and I was returning his kiss. In the back of my mind I had this feeling that somehow I was getting even with Frank and with Richard and with all the other guys I'd gone out with.
"Wait a minute," I told him. Then I abruptly pulled my skirt all the way up and hooked my thumbs in the waistband of my panties.
I pulled off my panties and tossed them over onto the sewing machine.
The man was immediately on me again. My back was braced against the wall and I could feel his hand undo his fly and take out his penis. He was fumbling trying to get it into me in the standing position. So I squatted down a little and reached down to guide it in myself.
I felt it go up into me and thought to myself, I'm letting a total stranger fuck me. All he did was kiss me and I'm helping him stick it to me.
But my hips were going back and forth with his thrust. I wondered what someone would think if they could see us. Me up against the wall half squatting my legs spread as wide as I could get them and this stranger pounding his prick into me.
But the man's breath was coming faster and faster. I could feel his cock throbbing up deep inside me. Then I could feel him shoot off into my cunt.
The man almost immediately pulled back. I reached past him for my panties. I opened the door a crack to make sure that there was no one there and ran to the bathroom. There I cleaned myself up and put my panties back on.
Then I went back downstairs. Frank was waiting at the bottom of the stairs.
"There's are getting pretty dull around here," he said. "Would you like to go?"
"Sure," I said. And then I thought to myself, he's going to be the third man for me tonight.
CONCLUSION
Linda's problem was that, in her progress towards becoming a grown woman, her sexual desires underwent some sort of change, and she became what is normally called "promiscuous."
She was, really, in no way pleased with her behavior, and her willingness to change it had a great deal to do with her progress in our sessions.
In the beginning, of course, she saw sex as impersonal and non-emotional. Naturally, with the attitude that sex was such an uninvolved occurrence, it was also non-threatening to Linda. It was her purpose with me, and then, later in her intensive therapeutic treatment, to change this feeling, to redirect it into personal, involved relationships.
This, as far as I've recorded, she has done quite successfully, marrying a young man with whom she is tremendously happy and satisfied.
CASE NUMBER THREE
Mandy M.
INTERVIEW ONE:
NOTES:
A sixteen-year-old girl is quite young, as far as I am concerned, to be involved in such diverse and frightening experiences. Mandy was quite intelligent, but had been expelled from school because of pregnancy. With this traumatic experience, she had consequently lost the baby, and had been sent into therapeutic treatment by her concerned parents.
Her neat appearance impressed me on her first visit. She smiled brightly and almost sexually as she came in and looked around the office. She had an amazingly well-developed figure for a sixteen-year-old girl, and she was quite beautiful-as beautiful as a young girl could be before the full bloom of womanhood.
Her long dark hair flowed down over her shoulders and across one of her young breasts, and her doe-like eyes looked up at me innocently. And yet, in spite of the look of innocence, she had an abrupt way of speaking.
"Why don't we start?" she said, almost nastily.
"Anything that you feel like saying," I answered, determined not to give in to her beginning nonsense.
I watched her hands shaking as she lit a cigarette.
"You're the doctor," she said, with a slight sneer to her lips. Then she pouted. "I really don't know why the hell I'm here. Well, I guess I do know. It's because mom thinks I'm a tramp, right?"
"Does she?" I asked. I had talked to her mother twice before agreeing to see Mandy. I knew that if the mother was vindictive, any counseling I could do would be undermined the second Mandy got home. The overwhelming impression I received of the mother was of concern. She didn't know why her daughter was acting the way she was, and that frightened her as it does many mothers.
"Just because I got pregnant," Mandy said, bitterness in her young voice.
"Just because you got pregnant," I echoed. "Is that what you believe?"
"That's what I know," Mandy said. "Shit, if she realized half the stuff I've done over the last four years, she'd wet her pants.
"Oh?"
"Yeah, oh."
We spent another couple of minutes just staring at each other. Her eyes didn't blink once and I had a feeling that she was in some way challenging me. Trying to see if I'd look away. Or she was trying to read something in my eyes. I kept my expression as blank as I could while trying to figure what the best approach would be to reach this young bitter girl.
Finally she said, "I guess you want me to tell you all the details of my love life, don't you?"
"That would be a way to start," I said, trying to smile paternally at her. I was thinking that she might embroider her account in an attempt to shock me. That seems to be a game a lot of people in therapy like to play. Shock The Therapist.
"All right, then," Mandy said. "Let's start with the first time I got laid..."
Believe it or not, the first sex experience I had was with my mother's lover. Dad had been dead for two years and mom and I had been keeping ourselves together as best we could. It wasn't easy because Dad didn't have much to leave us when he konked off. Then Ma found the handsome and well-to-do man about her own age. His name was Peter, I believe. It's funny, I'm really no sure what his name was. But I think it was Pete. Well, he was everything that my mother could have hoped for. Tall, dark curly hair, handsome as hell, and an athlete. He liked to swim the length of his swimming pool just to show off his muscles. His chest, I remember, was thick with hair, as were his legs.
. It wasn't long after Mom met him and we started going to his estate for the weekend that I figured they were doing it together. Sometimes at night I could hear a giggle or a muffled talking from my room as I lay asleep.
I was only twelve then. But I was already beginning to fill out in the places that count. I used to stand in front of a mirror and examine my budding breasts. I watched to see if they were growing and how fast they were growing. Once in a while as I played with them a little, I'd get this tingly feeling all over my body. I wasn't sure what it was then, but I've had it many a time since with one guy or another.
It wasn't until after I knew Mom and Peter were sleeping together that I started playing with myself at night. I'd lie there under the sheets at night and start running my .hands up and down my body. Ever so gently at first, then faster and faster, until my hands met between my thighs. After a little experimentation I started massaging my mound. It felt better even than playing with my breasts, so I kept it up and the tingling sensation increased and then started to turn into something nice. A real sexual desire.
I gasped with pleasure the first time I tentatively slid a finger into my mound. It was exquisite and in my mind I tried to imagine that it was Peter's finger sliding into me. Then later as I learned more, I pretended that it was Peter's cock.
I would masturbate for fifteen minutes or so every night, and each time my image of Peter grew stronger in my mind.
At the same time this was going on I was beginning to catch Peter throwing sideward glances at me when we were alone.
He kept trying to find excuses to touch me. You know, with his hand or just brushing his body against me. Each time my breasts touched him I got that same feeling that I had when I'd been playing with myself.
Slowly, ever so slowly, the idea was formed before I fully realized that I was forming it, the idea that I could take Peter away from Mom. I knew that he liked me by the way he looked at me. I was so flattered that he'd want to brush against me. After all, I was just a twelve-year-old girl. And my breasts were Only half formed. And my pubic hair wasn't fully grown in.
I waited for him to make the first move. And I didn't have to wait long.
One afternoon when Mom had gone into town to shop by herself, Peter came to me and asked me if I wanted to take a sail with him.
"Sure," I said calmly. But my heart was beating so fast I was sure he could hear it. I smiled at him to encourage him. "Just give me a few minutes so I can change into my swimsuit."
"Fine," he said, smiling. "I'll wait for you. But don't take long."
"I won't," I assured him, and ran off. I took out my sexiest two-piece and put it on, examining myself in the mirror. I bent down in front of the mirror and saw that the suit pulled away from my breasts so that my small nipples could be seen.
I smiled at myself, knowing that some time when we were together I would have to bend down and then he would be able to see the nakedness of my breasts. The thought of that sent chills of anticipation through my body. I could even feel the beginning of stirrings between my legs. I felt ready for anything and thought to myself that I might become Peter's lover that afternoon.
I didn't bother to question my motives in this. At the time it just seemed like I was attractive to Peter and he was attractive to me and that we should become lovers. I didn't have a man to myself. I didn't even have a father any more. I wanted a man of my own and not one of the stupid school kids who got their kicks by pulling your hair or knocking your books out of your hands.
Once I was satisfied that I looked as sexy as
I could in the two-piece, I rushed back out to meet Peter. I was half afraid that he would change his mind and not be there. But as I rushed around the big boathouse I ran into him. We met face on and for a few delicious seconds he had his arms around me, steadying me. I could feel my breasts pressed against his naked chest, for he wore only his bathing trunks and I was sure that I had felt the slight pressure of his genitals against me.
"All set," I said, rather childishly.
But he smiled at me and his eyes traveled all the way up and down my body, starting at the top, stopping briefly at my breasts, and then running down to my crotch and legs. I just stood there as he looked.
Having him look at me like that gave me a strange shivery sensation all over my body. It made me feel very much like a woman and a pretty woman at that.
Could this older man really be interested in a young girl like me?
Or was he kidding me along as a joke? Teasing me for the hell of it?
I didn't know, but at that moment I really didn't care. I had one thing on my mind. I was going to "do it" with Peter that day whether I started it or he started it. We were going to be alone together and we would probably go exploring on one of the islands not far offshore from where his estate was and there's be nobody there. Just the two of us. And we could make love to each other.
I wondered what his first kiss would be like. How does an older man kiss a young girl of twelve? like my father used to? I didn't want that. Peter wasn't my father and because my father's kiss had never been anything exciting, just a warm feeling that showed family affection between us.
As I thought of that, I felt the loss of my father. And I felt very much alone. Then I looked at Peter and caught his eyes staring at the top of my two-piece as if amazed at the advanced development of the breasts that were held there. He smiled and I smiled back.
"After you," he said, and helped me into the boat.
We sailed along for quite a while. We sailed, in fact, to the other side of Horseshoe Island, which was named for the fact that it formed a perfect horseshoe in the water. It was a wary day and I could feel little droplets of sweat trickling down between my firm breasts. I was very tempted at one point to just take off the top of my swimsuit to get a tan all over. But my nerves seemed to be keyed up since I wasn't sure what Peter's intentions towards me were.
But as we continued to sail I became more relaxed with him. And it seemed every time I looked over at him he was looking at me. There was a slight, but not too noticeable smile across his lips as if he was sharing a personal private joke with himself. Something he couldn't tell me. I wondered what it might be, but as he did not seem at all willing to share it with me, I didn't pursue it.
Oh hell, I thought, and rolled over in the bottom of the boat so that I could get an even sun tan. I still knew that his eyes were on me. And this gave me a delicious wanton feeling all over.
It wasn't until we sailed into the inlet of Horseshoe Island that things started to happen. We beached the boat and Peter suggested that we go for a swim. I agreed, of course, and soon we raced into the surf.
It became immediately apparent to me that swimming was not what Peter primarily had on his mind. What he wanted to do was horse around with me. Dunk me and feel my body slide over his. To help me stand up when a wave came and to feel my breasts against him.
Then, in a split second, he was holding me tightly in his arms and I knew that he was going to kiss me. I could see his face coming towards mine. And in the fleeting second before our lips touched I wondered if he was going to be disappointed in how I kissed. I hadn't had much practice in kissing and this made me feel like a child.
But then his full lips were against mine, much more gently than I had expected. They were warm and wet from the water we'd been swimming in. But at the same time they were insistent.
I closed my eyes and concentrated just on the touch of his lips on mine. Then I felt his lips starting to insist that I part mine a little. I didn't understand at first, but I obeyed and felt his heavy tongue start to come between my lips. This surprised me at first, but then a chill went through my body and my tongue licked out to meet his.
The kiss was completely different now. There was passion in it. Our tongues intertwined and I could feel his hand slide down my back into the bottom of my bikini briefs. Then I felt the coolness of his hand on the bareness of my ass. He squeezed the cheeks and held me closer.
I could feel the bulge of his penis against my belly and could tell that his breathing was coming faster and faster as he continued to kiss me.
My breathing was speeding up, too. I felt a pressure building up all through my body. It was a much more intense pressure than when I had been masturbating. I pressed my tongue into his mouth harder and let myself just melt aginst him. Finally he finished the embrace.
"Let's go ashore," he said. His voice was sounding hoarse from the strain of his passion. I glanced down quickly and saw that he had a tremendous erection. It looked as if the sheer power of his hard-on was going to break through the blue fabric of his trunks.
He took my hand and led me to shore. He lowered me onto the sand and then kissed me again. He pressed the full weight of his body against me. His hand was running up and down my leg, leaving behind electric like tinglings as he did so.
"Oh Peter," I moaned, before I realized what I was doing.
He pulled back and smiled at that. Then he helped me sit up. He unfastened the back of my halter and slowly pulled it down off my arms.
My breasts hung free now. Nice round orbs of flesh tipped with cherry-type nipples.
"They're beautiful," he assured me, taking one in the palm of his hand and lowering his lips to it. "They're the most beautiful IVe ever seen."
I didn't really believe him, of course, but I liked the way it sounded.
"Come give me a kiss," he said, and I pressed my bare breasts against his chest as we kissed hard again. Then he reached over with one of his hands and grabbed hold of one of mine. He brought my hand to the front of his swimsuit and laid it on his cock.
I wasn't sure how he maneuvered it, but before long I found myself naked beside him, but we were facing in opposite directions. Peter was naked too and his cock, held by one of his hands, was guided to my lips. I gave it a little kiss and then backed off a little.
"Open your mouth," he said. There was an urgency in his voice that I couldn't quite understand.
I obeyed and he inserted his large erect penis into my mouth. I closed my lips around it and he started pushing it in and pulling it out slowly.
At the same time he spread my legs with his hands and lowered his mouth to my pussy. The most delicious of sensations shot through my body then, as his tongue penetrated the damp hole down there. I squirmed under his touch and moved my mouth faster and faster over his cock as his tongue lapped more quickly at my young cunt.
I could feel a throbbing in the smooth skin of his cock now. It wasn't an unpleasant sensation. I was beginning to like it, in fact. And oh, the touch of his lips and tongue on my clitoris and my opened hole was sending me out of my mind with ecstasy.
He rammed his cock further into my mouth. I could feel its head touch the back of my throat. For a second I thought I was going to gag, but I didn't. He withdrew it a little and I circled his huge prick with my tongue. Circled it again and again as his lips continued to do those wonderful things between my thighs. Then strange and wonderful things started to happen to my body. Little vibrations were being set off all through it, started by his tongue and his lips on my cunt. I raised and lowered my hips, trying to get him further into me as he sucked and licked at my hole. My own manipulations on his hard prick which thrashed in and out of my mouth, became quicker and quicker. I enjoyed it more and then there was a sensation of wanting to swallow him all up. To take the full length of his gigantic prick into my mouth and throat.
Then the whole world seemed to explode all at once. My body exploded first in an orgasm so intense that I thought it would shake me apart.
Then I felt him explode into my mouth. His hot come shot down my throat and I sucked more and more as if this could prolong the sweet agony my body was going through.
Soon we both lay quietly and I felt myself starting to cry.
INTERVIEW TWO
NOTES:
Mandy seemed much more composed on her second visit. I believe that she had discovered that I was not going to condemn her for anything that she had done. This is a factor in her opening up more in the second session, and playing more of the seductress, or at least admitting more to the fact that she had deliberately set out to seduce her mother's lover, Peter. On the second visit she was dressed much as on the first, in a miniskirt and sweater. The sweater was just as tight as before and there was one change. It was obvious that she was not wearing a bra under the sweater this time.
As I have remarked before, it is not unusual for a female patient to initiate seductive behavior towards her analyst. It is pretty much par for the course. In Mandy's case I'm sure she was trying to gain my empathy for her side by making me sexually interested in her.
"What I told you about last week was only the first time of many," she started, fishing out a cigarette and lighting it. "There were many, many more. He hadn't even really had intercourse with me that first time. We just had oral intercourse. It wasn't until a week later that the affair was really consummated. I had been looking forward to that.
"Had, in fact, masturbated several nights with that very thought in mind. I think Pete would have liked to set things up for us to be alone much sooner, but it wasn't easy getting mother to go someplace by herself. Finally mother went on another of her shopping trips. Peter was very generous in the money he gave her that time. She probably thought it was because he was pleased with her. Instead it was because he wanted to be alone with me. It was mid-afternoon when he came to me..."
* * *
I was in a top playsuit and I was lazily swaying back and forth in a hammock by the pool he had in back of the house. It was pretty hot and as he came out of the house to tell me that my mother had gone, I was just contemplating going upstairs to change into my swimsuit.
"Hi," he said, coming up to me and kissing me on the forehead.
"Is she gone?" I asked. I smiled up at him, wondering what kind of things he had planned for the afternoon. Since the first time we'd been together he had lent me some very racy books to read to give me an idea of all the variations there were to sex.
I raised my lips so he could kiss me on the mouth. But I did not open my mouth. I felt in a very teasing mood.
"Well, what do you have planned for the afternoon?" I asked teasingly.
"I thought we could have a little fun together. Maybe a swim first. You know, Mandy, I find you a most desirable young girl."
"Are you still sleeping with mother?" I asked, being a little mean.
"Only when I have to."
I lay there for a minute trying to picture my mother, naked, her legs spread wide, with Peter pumping up and down between them. His large cock deep in my mother's body. I wasn't sure whether I liked the image or not. He had never done that to me.
"Do you want to fuck me?" I asked right out, a coyness forced into my voice. I was surprised myself that I'd come right out with the question. I wasn't sure if I was teasing or not. But somewhere deep inside me I wanted him to fuck me and not just play around having me suck his big cock. In a way I equated that with child's play. It was something dirty old men got young girls to do for candy and stuff. I wanted to be treated as a woman. As a real woman.
"Well see," was all the answer Peter gave, but his hand slid down until it cupped one of my breasts. He gave it a squeeze.
"Why don't we go for a swim?" I suggested.
But then his lips were plastered on mine and his tongue was forcing its way into my mouth.
"Oh shit, I want you so much, Mandy," he moaned, lifting me into his arms. It felt good to be in his strong arms. And I had no reason to doubt the passion in his voice as he told me he needed me. I felt my breasts pressed against his chest as he kissed me again. And by now familiar tingling between my legs was starting up all over again. Slowly I felt his hand on my leg. I felt it moving up inch by careful inch.
He caressed and tickled my leg with his hand until it was well up under my skirt. Then I let my legs fall slightly apart so that his hand would be unimpeded in its journey upwards. My whole body seemed to gasp as his fingers first touched the white silken triangle between my thighs. His finger brushed against my panties but it was an electric touch. Something that awoke my womanhood. Something that made me want to press into his arms and kiss him and take him inside of me. His tongue was deep in my mouth. And one of my hands reached for his trouser front.
"Let's go inside," he said, his breath coming fast and hard.
"All right," I said. I could hear the anticipation in my own voice, also.
He lifted me into his arms and then let me down slowly onto my feet. He took one of my small hands in his and started to lead me into the large mansion.
"I know a place where we cannot possibly be disturbed. Not even your mother would dare come into the room unless she were bidden."
"Where's that?" I asked, just wanting to be completely alone with him again.
What is it like to be fucked? I wondered, as I followed him up the long stairway. What's it like to have that large cock deep inside the hole between my legs? I tried to think of how it would feel. Something like my own finger in there masturbating, but it must be better than that or people would just masturbate and wouldn't spend so much time seeking out sex partners.
"Fuck me today," I said softly. I was still following him up the stairs.
He turned around and stopped. "What did you say, darling?"
"I want you to fuck me today," I answered. "I mean it, we've had other things together but I don't feel really with you or a part of you unless we go all the way. Unless you can be inside my body."
He smiled at that and then reached another hand out and patted my head. It seemed to me a very curious gesture to do at that point. Here I was asking him to fuck me and he was patting me on the head like a child.
"Well see," was all he would say.
We continued slowly up the stairs. The tingling was still between my legs. I was wet and ready for him down there, I could feel it. If only he'd do it to me. If only he wanted to really have me. Take me completely and then I'd be his. I wasn't sure what would come after that. I just had the immediate goal of having him inside me.
Soon we approached a large wooden door. On it were ornate carvings of every description. I tried to make out a few of them and as far as I could tell they all had some sexual reference.
He squeezed my hand.
"We're here," he said, and fumbled in his pocket for a large bronze key. He fitted it into the lock and turned it slowly. I could hear a heavy metallic click, and the lock came open.
Peter opened the door and we went through it.
"Come right in, my dear," he said. He waved his hand around the room. "Well," he said proudly, "how do you like it?"
"It's beautiful," I said, and it was. It was a huge study with a large black couch along one wall.
"This is my private place," he said. Then, losing interest in explaining the room, he turned to me. "I love you, Mandy," he said, his voice deep. "I want you to belong to me. Just to me."
"I do," I said. I was beginning to feel a little bit afraid of him. There was something sinister about being locked in this room with him. Then he came over to me and took me into his arms and my fears started fading. His lips met mine and his tongue immediately went into my mouth, engaging my own in sexual combat.
"Oh, darling," he moaned, and his hands came to the front of my top and over the mounds of my breasts. He squeezed them gently. Then he undid the top of the top. His hands fumbled with the buttons of the blouse underneath, but he finally succeeded in getting it open.
I just stood there as his fingers undid the back of my bra and he pulled the whole upper half of my clothing away from my body.
Then, incredibly, he sank to his knees and, one hand on each breast, kissed first one nipple and then the other.
This sent a strange sensation through my body as he sucked at my breasts.
"I've always liked the young girls," he said. "They're so fresh and pure. They're there for you to teach, to tutor in the ways of the flesh."
Then, as if he was tired of sucking my tits, his hand came to my waist and in a few moments he had me completely naked before him. I started to turn to go to the bed, but he stopped me with the sound of his voice as well as his words.
"Stay there," he ordered. And there was no mistaking that he meant to be obeyed. Again, a little fear crept through me. But I did as he said and stood facing him.
All of a sudden I felt a little embarrassed standing there stark naked while his eyes roamed over my body.
"Let me look at you," he said.
Then, a moment later, his hands started at my shoulders to touch me. First he covered my shoulders with his hands, and then they moved down until they reached the slopes of my breasts.
"You are truly beautiful, Mandy."
"Thank you."
Then he began to get undressed. He did it carefully, folding each garment and putting it across the back of a chair. It struck me that he was enjoying undressing in front of me as much as he had enjoyed having me standing stark naked in front of him when he was dressed.
Despite myself I had to look as he finally uncovered that beautiful cock of his.
Then, when he was completely naked, he led me to the bed.
"Am I the first?"
"Of course," I told him.
"Good." He smiled. "Lie down there and I will show you what love is really like."
I lay on the bed feeling a little strange. But the sight of his erect cock gave me an anticipatory excitement of what was to come.
He's really going to do it, I thought. I'm really going to get fucked.
Now he was kneeling between my spread thighs. Then I could feel the pressure of his cockhead at the moist entrance of my hole.
"This is one of the best parts," Peter said. "One of the most exquisite."
Slowly he pressed his cock against the entrance to my hole. Back and forth, slowly, making contact and losing contact. Then I felt the moistness gather to allow him to come inside me. That first sensation of his cockhead pressing apart the opening of my cunt was as exquisite as he had promised. I felt somehow that my whole, soul was opening up to him. That he was in some way taking possession of me. It felt so good. Then I felt the walls of my cunt giving way under the gentle insistence of the thrust of his cock. He entered further and further into me.
"Oh Peter," I moaned. "Oh peter!" My head was rolling from side to side as if I had a fever. My hand reached out for his back and his face, close to mine, turned its mouth to my lips and we sucked on each other's tongues.
He started moving in and out, in and out, more quickly now. And he was going further and further into me with each of his large cock's strokes.
I raised my legs high in the air in order for him to have easier access to the damp regions of my cunt tunnel.
"Oh, fuck me. Fuck me!" I cried. It was extraordinary. The greatest thingl had ever felt, having his large prick inside me, moving again and again.
"Yes, please! Harder. Oh, harder still! I can't get enough of you," I moaned.
Peter seemed spurred on by my pleadings, for he came harder and harder into me as I moaned and twisted under his fucking thrusts.
Twelve years old and I was being fucked by a man old enough to be my father. But I didn't care. There was something about Peter that turned me on. I didn't care what anyone might think about the humping figures on the bed. All I cared about was that large cock moving in and out of my thrashing cunt.
"More! Oh, more!" I cried.
I could hear our bodies thrashing against each other. I could feel the hard head of his prick beating to the very limits of my hole.
My legs spread as far and wide as they could in order to take him further into me. I pressed my hips upward to get his cock further up my cunt. The minutes passed in this struggle for closeness.
Then I felt the rhythm of Peter's thrusts change. They were coming quick and hard now. His breath rasped in my ear. I could hear him groan. His cock was ramming again and again into me until at last he came with one final thrust that seemed to tear me apart.
I screamed out in ecstasy as his hot come pumped up into my cunt.
INTERVIEW THREE:
NOTES:
Mandy felt much more sure of herself on her third visit. She seemed more friendly towards me as if she was beginning to enjoy relating her sex experiences to someone. It is possible that there had been a terrible pressure of secrecy building up inside her. A guilt that she could not confide to anyone. Many times it helps the patient just to talk about his troubles. To get them off his chest, so to speak.
This time Mandy wore slacks. She sat more demurely with a small smile on her face.
"You know the man who got me pregnant was a weird one," she started.
"In what way?" I asked, a little surprised at her jumping right into things on this third visit. Sometimes a patient holds back after spilling a little of their secret. But Mandy didn't seem to want to hold anything back.
"I mean, strange in the way he wanted to do some strange things to me. You know what I mean. He didn't always want sex in the usual way."
"I see," I said, not sure that I did see what she was getting to. All she'd told me was that he in some way did no tact the way Mandy had expected.
"Well," Mandy started, "in the first place, he picked me up in a movie theater..."
* * *
I was at one of those foreign movies. The ones that used to be so scandalous. Well, I was watching the movie and getting myself a little hopped up over this love scene. You know, I've read that girls aren't supposed to be turned on by those skin flick love scenes, but it was sure getting to me. You know, I was ready to leave to go home and masturbate.
But there was this man, see. And he just as boldly as could be came and sat down right there beside me. I didn't pay any attention to him at first, because I was engrossed in the movie.
The next thing I knew I felt this pressure against my leg. The guy was moving his leg so it rested against mine. I don't know why, but I didn't move my leg away, I just kept it there as he started to rub my leg a little with his. I was really kind of daring, you know. Sort of getting away with something having this man rubbing his leg against mine as we sat in the movie with about twenty-five other people around us.
I was enjoying myself though, and figured that I might as well let the guy have his cheap thrill. So I let him continue to rub against me.
But pretty soon he wasn't satisfied with just touching his leg against mine. He wanted something more. So he moved his hand over onto my knee. At first he just let it lie there waiting to see what I was going to do. I'm sure the guy was probably half scared to death that I'd get up and scream as his hand rested on my knee. But I didn't do that. I really don't know why I didn't make him stop, but somehow it didn't bother me that his hand was on my leg.
After a while his hand started rubbing up and down my leg. At first just a little. You know, almost so little that I couldn't tell if his hand was moving or not. But it was and soon he gathered up some more courage and moved his hand up further on my thigh. I was wearing a miniskirt so his hand had quite a ways to go before he reached the hemline. To my surprise I started thinking of this as some kind of game. You know, to see how much we could get away with here in the darkened theater. It was like sneaking cigarettes' when we were kids. Wondering if we were going to get caught or get away with it.
I must say one thing about the man, his hand had a gentle touch. As his hand moved higher I just let my legs move slightly apart so his fingers could trace patterns on my inner thighs. I'm terribly sensitive there and started getting all excited. The excitement of course was intensified by the fact that we were doing all this in public. And I was wondering how far he wanted to go before stopping.
I made up my mind that I wasn't going to stop him no matter how far he went. I felt that that was part of the game. Part of our game.
Now I could feel the tips of his fingers moving up to the hem of my skirt. I felt myself take a deep breath as his fingers moved further up. I let my legs fall apart further as his whole hand disappeared up under my skirt. I'm sure I must have made a sudden move when his fingers brushed my panties, because he quickly withdrew.
But he was not to be put off for long. His hand soon returned to its explorations up under my skirt. My legs were spread wide apart now and the palm of his hand pressed upon my silk-covered mound. I sat down further into the seat to increase the pressure between us. It seemed so exciting doing it like this. In a movie theater with all those people around who could look over any second and see that this man was playing with my pussy.
Then he leaned toward me and in a voice harsh with desire said, "Would you like to go somewhere? I have a car." He looked over at me.
And for the first time I really looked at him. He was a middle-aged man. His hairline was receding at a rapid pace. His cheeks turned into jowls and he had a double chin. This is not to say that he was ugly or anything. He was rather ordinary looking. You know, the type of person you don't have much of a reaction to when you meet them because you've seen the same type of person so many times.
I smiled over at him and he smiled back. But his smile was nervous. Waiting for my reply. I think he was sure I'd turn him down.
"You want me to go with you?" I repeated his question. "Well, all right," I told him.
I wasn't sure why I decided to go with this man. After all, he was nothing out of the ordinary. He was just a lonely middleclass businessman who was daring to make advances to a young girl, probably because he was from out of town and knew there would be little consequence from it.
Still, I had become quite excited over his hand running up and down my leg like that right in front of everybody, and I wondered what kind of pleasures there were still to come. So I agreed.
I followed him outside to a '62 sedan. It looked just the type of car a traveling salesman would use. It was originally blue but age had changed the bloe to a dull gray.
"Get in," he said. He was smiling at me as if he didn't believe his own luck.
"My name's Mandy," I told him, sliding into the seat in front.
"Mine's Tom," the man said, but didn't give a last name or any indication that he was in town for a while, for a long time, or what he was really interested in.
We drove in silence to a low-rate motel right outside of town. It was the same motel I had heard some of the kids at school talking about going to with their dates when they wanted to be alone and have sex together.
He pulled up in front of Cabin Three and switched off the engine.
"Would you like a drink or a coke or something?" he asked. His voice sounded nervous and I felt a little sorry for him.
"Whatever you want," I told him, and slid out from the car and followed him to the door of his motel room. He fumbled a little with the keys and then got the door unlocked. He stepped aside so I could precede him into the room. '
The room wasn't much to speak about. It was sort of dingy with worn furniture and one double bed that predominated the room.
As soon as we were inside, Tom made drinks for both of us. I tasted mine and it was rather weak, so I knew he didn't want me drunk.
"You're a beautiful girl," he told me, putting an arm around my shoulders.
"Thank you."
"I mean that," he said. His hand slid down until it rested on my buttocks. He gave the cheeks of my buttocks a squeeze. Then he turned me around to face him.
"Why don't you go lie qn the bed," he said, smiling at me.
"All right."
When I was lying on the bed he came and knelt at the bottom. I could see that his hands were shaking and his eyes were fastened on my face as if searching out a reaction to what he was doing.
I don't think my face showed much of anything except curiosity about what he was up to.
"I love little girls," he said, as his hands moved to my knees. Then his hand started caressing my knees. At first slowly, then with a more urgent gesture. Soon his hands were moving up my thighs until they reached the hem of my skirt.
He paused there for a while as if his eyes were riveted to the spot that would soon reveal the white triangle of my panties.
I lay motionless, waiting for his touching to continue. I wondered if he was playing some sort of game with me. It seemed silly for him to do so since I was more than willing to engage in full sexual activities with him.
It was then that he started licking my thighs. It was actually licking at first. It was more as if he started planting tiny kisses on my thighs just above the hem of my skirt.
The kisses became more passionate until he was tracing patterns on the flesh of my inner thigh with his tongue. I let my legs spread apart more so that he could continue his licking activities.
Then, with his hand, he bunched my short skirt up around my waist. For a long time he just looked at the white silk covering stretched across my young mound. I thought that he could not get enough of just looking at it. Then he looked up at me and smiled an anticipating smile.
His hands came to the waistband of my panties and he started ever so slowly to pull them down. Fraction of an inch by fraction of an inch. His eyes were riveted to the flesh that was slowly being uncovered. Then the first tufts of my dark pubic hair became visible and the man's lips parted a little. He bent forward and licked at them greedily.
I raised my buttocks so that he could pull my panties off further. I felt strange lying there not doing anything while this man depantsed me. But he wasn't hurting me or anything and he seemed to have a fetish for this kind of thing.
Again he pulled my panties down further, exposing more and more of my pubic mound. Each time another inch was exposed his tongue would come and explore the area open to his gaze.
Then, finally, with one full motion he yanked my panties down to my knees. Then down and off over my ankles. I was lying with my mound completely exposed to his gaze.
He spread my legs apart with his hands, and then immediately his head ducked down and his mouth locked with the lips of my cunt.
The sensation was exquisite. I could feel the softness of his lips, then the dampness of his tongue tracing the slit of my pussy as I lay there doing nothing.
He lapped at the juices of my cunt as if drinking from a well. I could feel his tongue pressing inside my damp hole, pressing in like an artificial cock. Pressing, then sucking the juices from my hole.
The effect on me was phenomenal. Shocks and chills went all through my body.
Finally I couldn't stand it any longer and my hips started to rotate and gyrate under the expert ministrations of his mouth and tongue.
I had never felt anything quite like it. It wasn't like being fucked. But more subtle. It was like the sensations were being drawn out carefully, rather than rammed into me. Again and again his tongue plunged into the depths of my cunt. And again and again my hips raised to meet the tongue-thrust and pressure of his lips, I locked my legs around his head as he continued to suck and lick at my cunt. Writhing under him, feeling the sensation rise higher and higher as he continued his extraordinary thrilling maneuver.
But finally I couldn't take it any longer. I wanted more and more. My body screamed for more. I wanted something harder than a tongue in my cunt. Wanted something to pound and ram inside of me.
"Please, oh please," I moaned, my head going from side to side in my passion.
He didn't raise his head but seemed to suck faster and faster.
"Please, fuck me!" I cried. "I want you to fuck me!"
For a minute he raised his head. Then he stepped back from me and looked at me. He just stood there looking at me for the longest time.
Then I started scrambling out of my clothes, throwing off my skirt and unbuttoning my blouse as quickly as I could. I nearly snapped my bra strap in my hurry to get it off. Then I knelt naked in front of him. His hands came out and touched my bubbies. His eyes traveled down my body, drinking in every square inch of it and finally coming to my pubic mound.
"I'm not a virgin," I assured him. "I want you. I want you to fuck me."
His eyes were strange now. He didn't make a move to do anything.
I knew that I would have to do it for him. So I unzipped his fly and reached in, expecting to find an erect penis. But his penis was not erect. I knew what he had been doing now. He was unable to get an erection so he'd find a young girl who he could suck and that was how he got his thrills. But I was not going to be put off. I quickly brought his penis to my mouth and put it between my lips. I started sucking on it, gently at first, then with more pressure as I felt the first stirrings of response. One hand went to his testicles, tickling him there as my tongue circled his half-erect penis.
The expression on his face looked as if he was in agony. But he didn't pull back. He allowed me to continue with my ministrations.
I wasn't going to give up. His penis was beginning to show some signs of life.
I kept sucking and licking at his penis until it was good and hard. Then I quickly pulled down his pants and lay back on the bed.
"Come fuck me," I cried, writhing under his gaze. "Come fuck me as hard as you can! You can do it, you know. Come fuck me!"
I thought the man whimpered but he threw himself between my naked thighs. I reached down and guided his still hard prick into my cunt. , It wasn't very good that first time. I came very quickly.
"But we can work it out later," I promised him, after he had deposited his load of sperm deep into my hole. "Well work it out."
CONCLUSION:
Mandy's sexual appetites seemed almost unwieldy for a girl her age, and were rare, considering that she was still an adolescent.
At first, I was uncertain about any outcome for Mandy as a result of therapy. She seemed too unwilling to allow her intelligence or other sensitivities to have 'any importance in her life: only her sexuality had an important impact, both on herself and on others. I decided that the way to help Mandy would be to help her learn how to handle her sexual urges, redirect their energies, so to speak. To i tell her that sexual abstinence would help her would have been totally futile, since she would have disregarded the advice to the utmost degree.
We also engaged in constructive support-therapy with Mandy's parents, so that they would be able to help and guide her in her new struggle.
CASE NUMBER FOUR
Karen M. *
INTERVIEW ONE
Karen was in her late twenties when she first came to see me about her sexual problems, but was as beautiful as any younger woman I had ever seen. She was quite petite, standing perhaps five feet three inches tall, and weighing a mere one hundred and ten pounds. Her features seemed perfectly chiseled, and I marveled at how well she had kept herself. Her hair was slightly wavy and combed neatly around her shoulders.
"I'm really nervous," Karen kept saying as she came into my office and looked around for the chair she felt would be most comfortable. "I've never done anything like this, and I guess it sort of unnerves me."
"Just relax," I said quietly. "Sit down and relax for a while, and don't feel pressured."
"I do, though," she murmured.
"Just talk easily, Karen," I urged her. I repeated that it didn't have to be deep or profound or threatening as long as she was talking about herself.
"Well, I'm a working girl," she said. "But I guess you know that."
"Yes, I did, Karen. Where do you work?"
"I'm a legal secretary," Karen said. She was still looking down at her folded hands. She uncrossed then recrossed her legs, with a deliberate motion.
"Do you like your work?" I asked. I was already becoming sure that I was faced with a very depressed young lady. That meant there was at least a chance that she could carry out her suicide threat.
"It's all right," Karen said. She looked up at me and caught my eye. She looked deeply into my eyes as if seeking some answer to her problems, there. "My boss is nice enough," she went on, then dropped her eyes again. "I mean he's nice to me and we get along."
I'm not sure why, but I suddenly got a very strong feeling that Karen was sleeping with her boss. I decided that the best thing to do at this point was to confront her point blank with the suspicion.
"Are you sleeping with him?"
"With whom?" Karen, like many depressed patients had an air about her that made you think her mind was somewhere else. That she was only paying half attention to you.
"Your boss."
"Yes, with him and others." Karen looked up to see if I was going to have some kind of big reaction to what she'd said.
"How many others?" I wanted to know.
"With anyone, anywhere," Karen said looking down in her into her lap once more.
"I see," I said.
"I'm afraid that I'm a nympho or something," Karen said softly.
"Why don't you talk about it?"
"All right," she nervously dug out a cigarette from her purse and lit it with shaking fingers. She took in a big lunger of smoke and let it out slowly in a long drawn out sigh. Her body seemed to relax a little after the sigh. "Where should I start?"
"At the beginning would be as good a place as any," I told her and smiled encouragement.
"At the beginning ... All right let's see," she paused for a moment. "Who was the first?" She snuffed out the cigarette. I waited for her to go on. She seemed deep in thought. Finally I had to say something.
"You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to," I assured her.
"Well," Karen started, more strongly this time, "I matured early. By twelve the boys were going out of their way to brush up against me. I remember one afternoon..."
I went to one of the boy's houses with him and two other boys. John, his name was. His parents were away and we had the whole house to ourselves. We went down into the basement which had been done over into a den with a bar and a color TV and a pool table. It was all paneled real nice. Let's see the other guys were Ted and Bob. As soon as we got down into the basement John went behind the bar and did a pretty good imitation of a tough bartender.
"All right, what will you guys have?" He wanted to know, waving his hand in front of several bottles of booze. At first I thought he was kidding then I saw him take down one bottle and pour some liquor into a glass. He tossed some ice into a glass and handed it to Ted.
Ted turned to me and toasted me with an imitation of a worldly suave playboy.
"And what will you have, my dear?" John asked after fixing some more glasses half filled with booze.
"I'm not sure," I said. I felt goose-bumpy because I knew that we shouldn't be doing this. Little chills ran up and down my spine ending between my legs. It was like a strong tingly feeling between my thighs and it was something I had experienced only a couple times before. I had masturbated once late at night.
"I guess I'll have what everybody else is having. Only put some water in mine."
John did as I asked and handed me the drink. I took a tentative sip of the amber liquid. It surprised me that I kind of liked the flavor.
"What is it?" I said perching myself on a bar stool. I knew that my dress was riding up some but I didn't mind.
"Bourbon," John said reading the name from the label of the bottle.
"I like it," I told them and they all looked at me smiling as if they shared some kind of secret I hadn't been let in on as of yet.
"Good, good," John said. "Drink up, we've got plenty more where that came from."
I took a larger sip from my drink this time feeling the alcohol go burning down my throat and into my stomach. For some reason the alcohol seemed to increase the tingling between my legs. But I didn't know that I was getting hot. I found myself thinking about the boys touching me and doing to me what I'd done to myself late one night. I was really tempted to reach down with my hand and play with myself. Somehow I managed not to do so.
I took the rest of the drink down in one swallow and handed the glass to John. "I'd like another drink bartender."
John laughed, " Coming right up." Then he looked at Ted and Bob and winked.
Once I had my second drink in hand I was beginning to get a slight buzz in my brain from the first drink. I liked the sensation and took a large sip from the drink in hand. The liquor didn't burn as much going down this time. I smiled at the guys and they leered at me.
"Hey," John said coming out from behind the bar. "Let's play strip poker or something." He laughed to make it look as though he was only kidding and that we didn't have to take him seriously. I think he was afraid of offen. "All right," I said getting off the stool and the looks on all their faces were wonderful to see. John looked as if he was about to pass out. I don't think he knew whether he really wanted to play or not. Maybe he was contemplating on what it would be like if he lost and had to sit naked in the middle of a group of clothed people.
The other two just looked at each other. Then at me. Then back at each other as if they couldn't believe that they heard right.
"Well?" I said standing facing them. "You don't think I'm chicken do you?"
"No ... oh no," They all said one after another.
"Ah, she'll chicken out in the middle of the game," Ted said. I got the distinct impression that that was wishful thinking. I think he was afraid to go through with it.
Then I realized what was going on. They had planned much of this. They'd probably gotten together and said that they'd like to get me alone some place and play strip poker or something. Then one of them would have said, "Let's try it," and the other had to go along.
With this new knowledge I felt one up on all of them. I felt that I was completely in control of the situation now and I liked that feeling. I also liked the increase in tingling that came between my legs as I thought of undressing in front of them.
"Cone on," I said, "Let's get started."
We all sat in a circle on the floor. And every so often I could catch one of them trying to look up under my skirt. To tease them I let my legs move apart slightly so they could see the triangle of white silk over my mound. Doing this excited me even more than the liquor. Once more I felt completely in charge of the situation. I was controlling them and it felt good to be able to do it. I think I was just beginning to realize what an asset my body and pretty face were.
After a while I got tired of the game of cards. I never did like card games and it was going so slowly. I was sitting in my bra, skirt and panties. John was down to his socks and underpants. Ted Was still almost fully dressed and Bob had only a pair of trousers on. He complained because he wasn't wearing any underpants.
"This is taking forever," I said throwing down my card. "I know what you boys are looking forward to and I don't see why we have to keep playing this silly game."
With that I reached up behind me and unhooked the clasp of my bra. Then I brought my hands around front and cupped the material to my breast. I heard the guys' collective voice gasp as their eyes focused on my hands which obstructed their view.
"Well, Joh, why don't you get up and fix me another drink?" I seemed torn between staying to watch and doing as I asked.
"Don't worry," I told him, "I won't do anything until you come back."
It didn't take him long at all. I could feel my nakedness and got a big thrill out of watching the guys' eyes on me just waiting for me to show them my tits.
John put the drink down on the floor and sat back down opposite me.
"Is everybody ready?" I asked smiling, enjoying every minute of it.
"You bet," John said.
'.Sure are," Ted put in.
Bob just sat there, he didn't say anything but his eyes didn't leave the front of my body.
"All right," Slowly I let the material of the bra ball away from my flesh. One of the guys actually gasped as my breasts with the large nipple came into view.
"They're beautiful," someone said.
I laughed and cupped them with my hands, keeping the nipples visible.
"Can I touch them?" John asked. He sounded very awed and meek.
"All right," I said. I moved my hands away and he came over to me. He knelt down right in front of me and reached his hands out.
The first touch of his hands on my large breast sent a chill through me stronger than I'd ever felt before. His touch was electric it seemed and I heard myself moaning deep in my throat as his fingers pressed the flesh of my tits.
I pressed my breast into his hands and moaned again. I could feel the harshness of his breath on my breasts as he breathed faster and faster.
"Kiss me," I said after a few minutes of this, "Oh, please kiss me."
John took me into his arms and pressed his mouth against mine. I could feel the hardness in his pants and we pressed together. My hand almost moved by itsef down to cup that hardness.
John twisted and squirmed against me as my fingers petted his hard c ock. His tongue came into my mouth meeting mine as it pressed forward.
I glanced toward the other. They seemed transfixed by what was going on under their gaze. I caught a glimpse of Bub rubbing the front of his pants. He pulled his hand away embarrassed when I looked at him.
I felt as if my body were on fire as I pressed against John and saw that the other two boys were watching me and getting very excited by doing so.
Then I pulled back from John. He seemed disappointed but his disappointment didn't last long for I had pulled away from him in order to be able to undo the side of my skirt and let it fall to the floor.
"Is this what you guys are looking for?" I asked standing naked except for my panties. The white silk stretched firmly over my mound. Their eyes all traveled up and down over my body. , "Aren't you guys going to join in?" I asked hooking my thumbs in the elastic waist band of my panties. "Or do you just want to watch?"
I smiled at them with what I hoped was a sexy smile. The tingling in my mound became stronger and stronger as I stood almost naked in front of them. , I kept thinking how this was supposed to be bad and I was considered not a nice girl because I was acting in this way. But it excited me more than anything I had ever done before.
Slowly I started pulling my panties down. Slowly until the beginning of the heavy dark tufts of my pubic hair were visible to them.
All three guys had reverted back to just watching as I took the panties down over my thighs and then kicked them off across the room.
Their eyes riveted to my fur covered mound. It was as if they couldn't get enough of the sight of it. I felt deliciously evil then and ran one hand down over my belly and between my thighs.
"Am I going to have to do this by myself?" I asked. All I wanted now was for all of them to come after me. To kiss me and touch me until I couldn't take anymore. John came back over to me and kissed me again, pulling my naked body to him. I reached down once more for his cock and rubbed it up and down, feeling the hardness of it and knew that that hardness was because of me.
Then I unzipped his fly and for the first time, reached in and touched his bare prick. It was standing hard and ready for me. I brought it outside his pants and wrapped my fingers around it. I pumped it up and down several times listening to his voice against my face.
"Oh wonderful, don't stop, please don't stop." Then his mouth found mine again and he moved his hips back and forth shoving his cock back and forth between my fingers.
I liked the feel of the hard prick in my hands and moaned boldly as his hand found my own mound and his fingers pressed between my thighs. I thought I was going to doe from the pleasure of it as one of his fingers reached into the damp hole between my leg.
"Oh please, harder," I said. I closed my eyes and continued holding his prick as he moved it back and forth between my fingers.
"Oh yes, please," I moaned as his fingers became bolder and went further up into my hole. "Oh, please, harder, harder, harder."
I started dragging him down to the floor. I didn't care where we were all of a sudden the most important thing in the world seemed to be pulling his cock to my hole.
"Fuck me, fuck me," I moaned wondering if he knew what to do. "Please don't leave me."
I writhed on the floor under the touch of his hands. Pressing my body up against him, holding his cock in my hand and pumping at it.
I wanted him in me but wasn't quite sure how to go about it. I pulled him down on top of me, my hand still going at his hard prick.
"Please, oh please," I begged. I could hear him groan. I felt his lips close over mine, then his tongue jut into my mouth.
My hand worked feverishly at him. I could feel his fingers deep inside me moving in and out in and out, bring me to a frenzy of desire for him.
Then I felt him stiffen above me. I felt his prick throbbing in my hand and felt the warm wetness of his come run down my fingers and over my belly.
He lay still atop me, his breath coming very fast as if he'd been running. Then slowly he pulled away from me and stood up, tucking his prick back into his pants.
INTERVIEW TWO:
NOTES:
At our second session together, Karen M. seemed much more willing to talk. It was almost as if she had decided to shock me with all the details of her sex life. I encouraged this because I was sure that the basis for her current depression and recurring thoughts of suicide stemmed from her sexual adjustment or maladjustment. She wore a short blue dress that clung to her marvelous figure. The impression I got from this was that she was subconsciously trying to seduce me.
"Hi," she said, much in the same way a woman would who is telling a man she is willing to be picked up. She continually crossed and uncrossed her legs as she talked.
"How have you been?"
"A little better," she told me. "I think it really helps to talk thing out."
"I agree. Now where were we the last time?"
"Oh, that first party with the three guys," Karen prompted me. "I'd told you about John. About masturbating him in front of his friends, Ted and Bob. And of course his friends wanted a piece of the action."
I was lying there, the remnants of John's sperm on my hand and belly. He went back to the bar to fix himself another drink. Ted and Bob were just standing there. Their eyes were fixed on the dampness between my legs. I wiggled my hips a little bit to tease them.
You see, I was still pretty pent-up after all the petting and having not been satisfied. I knew that the others wanted a good time with me too, but first I excised myself and went into the bathroom. There was a shower in there and I climbed into it turning the water on hard and soaping myself all over, with a washcloth.
I stayed in the shower for about five minutes just feeling the water flow over my finely tuned body. Instead of cooling me off like I had expected, the shower managed to turn me on all the more. It seemed in some unexplained way to be amplifying the sensual feelings that I was already experiencing.
Finally I rubbed myself dry and wrapped the towel around me, tucking it in at my breasts. It was long enough to hide my mound if I was careful how I walked. I opened the door and walked out into the room where the three boys were waiting for me.
I knew at once that, once more, I was in complete control of the situation. The two other boys, Ted and Bob did not know if they should approach me or not. They thought that I might think that we had had all the fun we were going to that afternoon.
I could have walked out right then if I had wanted to and they would not have felt cheated. But I had no intention of walking out. As far as I was concerned the fun had just started. I could remember all the scenes I'd read in the dirty books I smuggled under my bed. And I was dying to try out some of the things I'd only read I stood in the middle of the floor looking at the four of them. John had redressed and was smoking a cigarette. Ted and Bob sat smoking too. I saw that Bob's hands were shaking a little bit. His other hand rested in his lap as if trying to hide the erection he had. I smiled at them.
"Isn't anyone going to offer me another drink?" I asked staring at them.
"Sure, right away," Bob said, and hurried to the bar to get another drink for me. I accepted the drink and took a slow long sip from it. I was still standing in the middle of the floor looking at them. They were still sitting there watching me. Waiting to see what I was going to do next. I flet like laughing to myself.
After a few minutes of sipping from my drink I asked for a cigarette. Both Ted and Bob jumped up to give me one. I accepted the cigarette from Bob and a light from Ted. They both still looked nervous.
I went over to the couch and sat down on it. All their eyes strained to look up under the towel, searching for a glimpse of my mound. But I sat carefully tucking the towel down in front of myself.
Still the boys were sitting there waiting to see what I was going to do next. My feeling of power at being in complete control of the situation became more intense. And as this feeling of control intensified so did my sexual excitement. I felt like the most important thing in the world right then.
I finished my drink and slowly lay back on the couch. I watched them in their anticipation of what was next. Then, smiling, I let the top of the towel come loose, at the same time holding it over my pubic mound.
Their eyes burned into the twin orbs of flesh as my breasts were bared. The nipple of each breast was standing up excited by what was going on. And there was a sexual sensation that seemed to start in my breasts and travel down to the dampness between my legs. I lowered one hand and rubbed myself as they watched.
Then I let my legs part slowly and the towel fell away from that region as well. Their eyes changed their focus now trying to drink in the sight of my mound.
But still none of the boys made a move to come over to me. I wanted them to come near me and touch me. I wanted the feel of their hands on my breasts and between my thighs.
"Come on," I said in what I hoped was a very come-hither sexy voice. "Come let's have a little fun together."
Ted and Bob looked at each other. John continued sipping his drink. I guess he supposed he'd already had his turn and now it was his turn to watch. The way I felt he could have joined too.
Bob and Ted came tentatively over toward the couch where I was laying nude. Their eyes ran up and down my body as they stood there.
Finally I reached out one of my hands and took hold of Bob's right hand. I brought it slowly forward until it rested on one bare breast. I pressed upward so that the firm flesh of my tit filled his hands. I could feel the hardness of my nipple against his hand as he started to massage it gently. I moaned to let him know that I liked what he was doing. Then he bent down and his lips pressed against mine. I immediately opened my lips to him and slid my tongue out into his mouth. I felt a shudder go through his body as his hand pressed more firmly against my tit.
Ted's hand was starting to work up and down my legs, each time missing touching the moist damp spot between my thighs. I felt as if he was playing some sort of game with me. But what ever he thought he was doing, his touch was driving me out of my mind. Pretty soon my pussy was begging for him to touch it for him to once not bypass it as his hand journeyed up my thigh to my abdomen. I wiggled my hips, in what I hoped was a seductive way.
At the same time half my mind was enjoying the touch of Ted down below, Bob's lips were opened against mine and our tongues were doing deliciously sexy things with each other.
I arched my body and at last, Ted's hand came to touch between my thighs. I pressed my mound into his hand moaning as I did so. Then I felt his finger tracing the slit of my mound, pressing to enter my cunt hole.
"Oh, God," I moaned. "Oh, it's so beautiful, it feels so beautiful."
Encouraged by this, Ted's finger pressed harder into my cunt.
"Oh God yes," I cried. My hand reached out to find Bob's cock as I heard Ted beginning to take down his trousers. Bob was in his undershorts and my fingers went directly into the fly of his shorts, touching the hardness of his excited cock.
My fingers wrapped around the smooth erection and started moving my and down its length. My whole body' seemed to cry out for more ... more sex, more touching, more of the exquisite feeling.
Bob's lips left mine and started traveling down my neck. Then down over my shoulders approaching the swelling of my breasts. Then his mouth was sucking in my right nipple as his hands caressed the other breast. I arched and writhed under the two boy's ministerings.
"Quick on the floor," I said, realizing that what I wanted to happen couldn't happen within the confines of the couch we were on.
At first they didn't understand. Then, as I spread my legs wide and my tongue searched out Bob's tongue, Ted got the idea and lay crosswise to me. One of his legs was under mine so that he could press his hard cock against the opening of my pussy. I felt his fingers preparing the way for him to enter and my excitement grew.
"Fuck me," I whispered. "Oh, please put it in me ... hurry, please hurry."
I looked over at the hard cock in my hand as Bob's lips continued at my breasts. Then I remembered something that I had read in one of those sexy books. I pulled his cock to my lips then and kissed it. It didn't taste like anything to me but I could feel my lips against the smooth skin of the head of the cock. I liked the feeling. I kissed it, letting more of it come between my lips.
Then quickly I stuck my tongue out and licked the bulbous head of his cock. I heard him gasp as he felt my tongue against him.
Meanwhile, down below, I could feel the head of Ted's cock pressing at the entrance of my hole. He was moving slowly forward gaining entrance a fraction of an inch at a time.
I thrust my hips downward taking more of the hard organ into my hole. Then I felt him pull back slightly, then thrust forward hard this time. His hard cock pressed up into my cunt.
He was fucking me. My mind kept repeating the line, "He's fucking me. He's fucking me."
Then I opened my lips and took a large part of Bob's cock into, my mouth feeling terribly wicked and delicious. I was having relations with two guys at once.
I spread my legs as wide as I could trying to take all of Ted's hard prick into my cunt. I strained and twisted under their double assault. The cock in my mouth was moving in and out rigorously, my fingers gripped it at the base and moved it back and forth, back and forth. I pressed my tongue against it once more feeling the exciting smoothness of the hard prick in my mouth.
My hand was moving more rapidly on Bob's prick now as I felt Ted's hard cock slam again and again into the damp tunnel of my cunt. Exquisite sensations were flashing through my body and I felt that I could not get enough of these two fabulous cocks. I strained to take them further into their respective orifices, inch after inch entered my mouth and cunt and my body was going into convulsions from the sexual feeling of being fucked in the cunt and in the mouth at the same time.
I could hear the heavy breathing of both boys. I could feel the excited throbbing of their pricks as they pounded in each of the open holes.
I didn't know what John was doing, but I thought I saw him standing and watching us, incredulous at the sight of the naked female taking into herself the sexual lust of two boys.
I thought that I was going to go out of control. I just couldn't get enough. In and out, in and out, the cocks went in mouth and cunt. Bob's lips were fastened on one breast sucking at it like a child as his cock thrashed in the smooth wetness of my mouth. I circled his cock with my tongue again and again. Then I drew back and ran my tongue up and down the full length of his hard prick. The underside of his prick felt smooth and almost silken as the rougher texture of my tongue stimulated it.
He started to groan as I did this, started pressing his prick harder into my mouth until the large head of it touched the back of my throat. I thought I was going to gag on it, but I didn't. In fact I felt that I could take even more of him into my mouth. Felt like I could take the full length of its hardness into my mouth as he thrashed under my y sucking lips.
Ted's strokes down below had taken on a rapid rhythm. I could feel the muscles of my cunt contract around the shaft of his prick. I felt as if I could spread my legs further and further apart as I took him fully into my cunt. I felt him hit bottom again and again. I felt split in two. Half of my body was concentrating on sucking the prick in my mouth, the other half felt the surging fucking going on inside my willing wet hole. I felt like crying out with pleasure as both of the guys strokes became faster and faster.
"Oh, please," I moaned, holding Bob's prick outside my mouth. "It's so good, don't stop, fuck me ... fuck me hard!"
I felt as if my whole being was being concentrated in the dual act of fucking and sucking. I felt as if I had found the focus of my whole life in the sex act. And I couldn't get enough of it. I wanted to drown in it, drown in the pleasure that surged through my body. The dual pleasure starting from my mouth and meeting the pleasure from my crotch somewhere in the deepest part of me.
I twisted and surged under them. Feeling the throbbing in my mouth. Then feeling the throbbing in my cunt. Then Bob's prick was pounded harder and faster inside my mouth. Pounding again and again until a long hot spurt of semen splashed into my throat. I sucked his prick dry as he started to pull away. Then my tongue licked over the top of his prick until it was clean of semen. It swallowed hard twice then suddenly was dring under Ted whose cock pounded faster and deeper into my cunt. Again and again until he exploded inside me and my cunt got its share of shooting come.
I lay exhausted for a long time after that.
INTERVIEW THREE:
NOTES:
"I've always wanted to participate in an orgy," Karen said almost immediately upon j entering my office and sitting down in front of my desk on her third interview. It startled me a little bit. I had the distinct impression that she'd been planning that entrance. She might have been trying to shock me. Or she might have been getting up the nerve to talk about it and figured that she had to come right out with it as soon as she got there or she couldn't have the nerve. "You have?" I asked trying to keep most emotion out of my voice. I leaned back and studied her when she didn't answer.
She was dressed in a pants suit. Much differently than the almost blatantly sexy clothes she had worn to the previous sessions. "I have?" she finally answered.
"Tell me about it." And she was off on her narrative of the orgy.
"Well, I finally got my wish..."
* * *
Steve was this incredible man I'd met. All he ever seemed to think about was sex and our relationship was therefore based almost solely on sex. In fact during our first date he asked me out to dinner. Of course I accepted. He was a tall athletic man. One of those men who seem to ooze charm and who tell you somehow with saying anything that he is interested in you in a very animalistic way. I was taken by him.
Well, he took me out to an expensive restaurant for dinner. We ate one of those fantastic six course meals with all of it being delicious. I had veal stuffed with ham and cheese. Veal Cordon Blue I believe it's called. Well it was drenched in brandy and was one of the most delicious things I'd ever eaten. Next to a cock.
We had two cocktails apiece before the meal and champagne with the meal so that I was feeling very nice by the time the coffee and creme de Menthe came around.
Then, as we sipped our after dinner drinks Steve reached over the table and took one of my hands in his. To my chock he said:
"Come on honey, let's go someplace and make love."
It was strange. Normally when a man comes right out and asks me to bed with him I refuse because I figure he could at least try to seduce me. But I didn't mind it from Steve. In fact when he said it tingling sensations went all up and down my body.
Within fifteen minutes we were in bed and his hard cock was deep up inside me. I writhed and screamed under him, insisting that he was killing me with pleasure. Which indeed he seemed to be doing.
We kept at it for almost an hour and my body was so highly tuned that any touch anywhere could set off bolts of fantastic frenzy inside me. He fucked me and fucked me. His large prick tearing me apart as it thrust up harder and faster into my cunt.
I'd never experienced anything like it. Never before had I been made love to so well or for so long. It was just fantastic. I scratched his back. I begged him first to stop then to never, never stop or I'd die.
Then I felt him finally approaching his climax. His cock seemed to get ever harder and longer as it pounded deep inside of me. Then waves of sweet warm fluid filled me before he was through.
"You're marvelous, darling," he told me, his breath still coming faster from the effort of our lovemaking. "You're the best."
I felt flattered of course. Flattered and almost fulfilled by what he had said. I think I'd been looking for the ultimate thrill in sex and this man promised to be a key to arriving there. I wasn't much wrong by that.
"Have you ever been to a really wild party?" He asked one evening.
"No, I haven't." I told him. His hand rested on my breast and I felt marvelous.
"I'll have to take you to one sometimes."
"I think I'd like that," I said and reached out for his cock once more.
It was only about a week later that he picked me up for dinner and told me:
"There's an absolute blast of a party going on tonight and if you'd like, I'll take you there."
I looked at him and felt a sudden shudder go through my body. My mind started making all sorts of mental images of what the party would be like. Did he actually mean that we would be going to an orgy?
I didn't know and looking him in the eye didn't reveal anything except that he was smiling at me.
"I don't know." I said hesitantly. I looked away from his gaze and picked up my cocktail to take another long sip. By that time I knew I had made up my mind.
"All right," I told him. "But remember it is .going to be my first time."
"I'll show you the ropes," he said taking my hand once more and squeezing it. You won't regret it."
I believed him and we both ate dinner in an air of excited anticipation.
We arrived at the party about nine thirty. We could hear the music from the moment we stepped off the elevator in the swanky high-priced high-rise apartment. I held onto Steve's hand like a little girl having her father lead her across a dangerous intersection.
"Well you're really doing it," I told myself. "You're finally getting your wish.
We were greeted by a short, fat, balding man who Steve introduced to me as the owner of the apartment and the giver of the party. I smiled prettily and let his kiss my cheek.
"I'll look you up later, doll," he said with an obvious leer.
I wondered it I was going to have to have sex with him. He didn't particularly appeal to me. But, then I told myself, I wanted an orgy and I was going to get one. You can't be too particular at an orgy.
All the lights were turned out and there was a movie being shown on one wall.
In the movie two young couples were sharing a bed. They were all naked and were all tickling each other and laughing together. Steve took my hand and lead me through the seated guests until we were in the front row to one side and had a perfect view of what was going on on the screen. And there was plenty going on.
At first one girl reached out and took one of the boy's cocks in her hand. She smiled up at him, then kneeled in front of him and placed his long hard cock into her mouth. She started sucking vigorously at the huge cock and the boy started kissing the second girl.
I watched in fascination as the scene continued. Soon the second boy was kneeling behind the girl who was sucking the first boy's prick. He held his own cock on one hand and guided it into her hole.
Some of the audience started applauding at the antics on the screen. Within the next ten minutes the four young people on the screen kept changing positions. There were many close ups of their genitals.
It seemed that during this time someone kept refilling the glass of scotch I had gotten when we first sat down and someone was passing around joints of pot which I took. It was the first time I'd smoked the stuff but I was in a "what the hell" mood. Getting into the groove of the party feeling the sexual tension of a group of people turned on by the blue movie but at the same time looking forward to the reality of their own party as it would be when the movie was over.
While the movie was on Steve said hello to a couple of people I didn't recognize. Some of the people he greeted said something like
"Nice girl you've brought." or "We can always count on you to bring a worthy contribution to the proceedings."
I ignored these remarks and concentrated on what was on the screen. But soon the four couples seemed to climax just about at once. One guy came off in the girl's mouth another guy pumped himself into the other girl's cunt
Then it was over and the lights starting coming up slowly until you could see the other people. There was a space of floor between the group of people and the wall on which the movie had been shown.
"Why don't you get up and give them something to look at," Steve suggested.
At first I didn't understand what he meant. Then I remembered the night I'd gotten half smashed with him in my apartment and had done s strip tease for him. It had really turned him on. Now he wanted me to do it for the whole group. I wasn't sure I was ready for that. But I was beginning to feel a wonderful sexy glow from the drink and the grass and my "what the hell" mood prevailed.
"All right," I said thinking that I could just get up and do the dance then come right back to Steve.
Steve got up and faced the audience.
"We have a real treat here tonight," he said. "Karen, my date is going to do a little dance for us. I'm sure it's something you'll all enjoy." Then he came to me and lead me up onto the stage.
I stood there for a few seconds looking at everyone. I couldn't really make out any faces. Steve was to my right selecting a record for me to dance to. I was glad when the music started.
I felt sexy as hell having all those people staring at me as I wiggled my hips and paraded my body before them. I bumped and ground a little like I'd seen the strippers do.. I ran my hands up and down my body as if offering it to them to do what ever they wanted with it.
Then I started getting into the music. I felt that I was part of the crowd and part of the music all at the same time. And I felt that I could become one with both just by performing for them.
I started movin g seductively in front of them. Then slowly I started undoing the front of my blouse. I hadn't worn a bra under it and I knew that they realized that as my body moved one way then the other and my breasts moved under the cotton material freely with the rest of my body. Soon I had the blouse unbuttoned all the way. Then slowly I turned away from the crowd of people and took it completely off. But all they could see was the nakedness of my back.
I was teasing then I know. Titillating them and the feeling of power of being in control of the situation like I have been with those three boys when I was a young girl came back. I felt that the crowd was mine and I could do what I wanted with them.
I cupped both breasts with my hands and slowly turned around to face them. Those who had expected a full view of my naked breasts were disappointed. They were covered by my hands. Then slowly I lifted my breasts and removed my hands. I heard the oohs and aahs coming from the audience. I shimmied my breasts for them and someone applauded.
I felt strange and exciting knowing that all those people were looking at my naked tits. I discovered that I liked the feeling. It felt good to be the sexual center of attention.
Then I slowly started to undo my skirt. But I stopped. I had a better idea. I started pulling my skirt up. I felt that I had the crowds rapt attention. Then my hands went under my skirt and I grabbed the elastic waist bank of my panties. Without giving them a peek at what was under my skirt I started pulling down my panties.
When I slid the panties off over my feet the crowd cheered. Then I danced more seductively than before. Running my hands up my thighs and pulling the skirt up just enough to make them think that maybe they'd see my mound. But I wasn't going to let them. Not just yet anyway.
"Come on, baby," someone yelled from the audience. "Take it all off."
"Yeah, take it all off." I smiled seductively and started once more to unzip the side of my skirt. I slid it down and let it drop around my ankles then I stood in front of them completely naked, my two hands atop the other over my mound.
I hadn't intended to do it. But suddenly I started massaging my pussy. Very slowly at first, feeling the sensation starting to go through my body.
Then I pulled my hands away to the cheers of the crowd. I felt very sexy then. I felt as if I could have sex with everyone there and even that wouldn't be enough
I danced some more. Then suddenly a large redhead was beside me with something in her hand.
"Here honey, use this she said. I reached out and she handed me a large round, long object. I looked down at it and suddenly realized that it was an artificial penis.
I was really turned on now. I spread my legs as far apart as they would go. I took the dildo in one hand and spread the lips of my pussy with the other. Then slowly, ever so slowly I slid the artificial penis up into my damp cunt.
The crowd cheered. I worked it in and out of my cunt slowly at first then faster and faster as my own passion rose. I hadn't meant to go this far in front of the group but I couldn't stop myself. I was being carried away with the thing as I lowered myself to the floor and worked the artificial prick in and out of my cunt.
Then abruptly there was someone next to me.
"How about a real one, baby?" a male voice said.
"Oh, God yea," I moaned, "Yes, please fuck me."
I spread as wide as I could then felt the warm throbbing of a real prick inside my cunt as the other pulled out. I felt the cock pounding quickly inside me. Faster and faster.
Then before I knew it someone else was there and the second man was pressing his erect penis into my mouth. I opened up to it and let him ram in between my lips.
"Oh, God I thought. Oh, God I'm going to die from it."
I wreathed under the two men. The cock up my cunt felt so big I was afraid it was going to rip my whole body apart.
I felt myself going into a frenzy sucking and fucking with the two men. It was made more sexy by the fact that a group of people were cheering us on. Yelling, "That a way baby,"
"Take them both on, honey!"
"Let them fuck you."
"Someone get her ass."
I felt the throbbing cock in my mouth move faster and faster. The prick inside my cunt was burning and twisting ready to pour its load deep inside me.
Then I felt my own body start to vibrate. I was so tense it was incredible. Then sperm filled my mouth and cunt at the same time. I tasted it and felt it fill my vagina. Then they were pulling away from me. I just lay there for the longest time, I felt completely exhausted.
But slowly I became aware that there were people there watching me lay spread eagle, naked. And they had watched it all happen.
I didn't know what to do. My emotions seemed completely thrown out of key. I felt terribly depressed. This was supposed to be my big thrill. But it had left me empty rather than satisfied.
CONCLUSION
It was quite obvious not only to me but to Karen that she was not finding the fulfillment she needed through her sexual activities. She wanted more than she was getting. In her promiscuity, she found loneliness, and in her group activities she found only herself, emptier than ever.
She was in search of some sort of ultimate thrill that was really impossible to find, and this fact in itself was something she was to find out.
Karen wanted to be a woman. More than anything, she wanted that, and this, in itself, was what caused the tremendous amount of confusion and pain and depression. In her search for womanhood, she had found nothing coming close.
I felt in-depth therapy was the best-and perhaps the only-answer for her, and she responded positively to my suggestion.
CASE NUMBER FIVE
Ellen W.
INTERVIEW ONE:
NOTES:
Ellen is a tall, buxom thirty year-old woman who has been a housewife for about seven years. Her husband, who has a great deal to do with the problem, did not accompany her to the interview.
She was well-poised when she first entered my office, and had a magnificently-coiffured head of hair. She was still lovely, and the makeup she wore was flawless, natural-looking and beautifully done. Her posture was that of a woman who knows that men look at her, and who is glad of it. She was not ashamed of herself, and indeed, she had nothing to be ashamed of.
She reached over to me and shook my hand before she took a seat across from me. It seemed rather formal, but suited me perfectly well. I began the interview.
"Well, I see that your history, which I have here, gives very little clue about the problem that you are here for."
"Yes, I suppose so."
"Well, then, can you tell me what seems to be the problem?"
"Your history seems to be an uneventful one, at least in terms of your having reasons to come for counseling."
"Well, I am a little embarrassed to bring things up with people I don't know ... but," she paused to regally light a cigarette. "Well, you see ah, I'm worried about my marriage. It seems to be falling apart on me."
"But your history states that you have been happily married for eight years now. Your husband is very successful but you have no children. Is that what is at the basis of your fears about your marriage?"
"No, we have both agreed that children are not important to our marriage." Ellen said, "If we are lucky enough to have children we will receive them happily, but their absence does not threaten our marriage. It is something entirely different."
I had the distinct feeling that Ellen W. was beating around the bush. I wondered how long it would take her to finally come right out and tell me what it was that she felt was threatening her marriage.
"We've had a good marriage," Ellen told me and there was nothing in her tone to make me believe that she might be lying. "It's been better than most we've seen among our friends. But, ... well, lately we've become involved in something that I am afraid could tear our marriage apart. My husband doesn't think it will hurt, us but I'm becoming increasingly worried about it. You see!" Once more Ellen paused for a few moments. She took several puffs from her cigarette before going on. "You see for the last couple of months we have both been having sex relations with other people."
She blurted it out as if it were burning her tongue to say it and as if she was trying to get it out in the open but had to force herself. I heard it all come out in that one sentence. Then she looked away from me and smoked quietly.
"I see," I said. I had run into this type of think before and knew that to some people adultery can threaten their whole standards. Everything they live by. "I'd like to assure you that you are not alone in his problem there have been many couples going through this type of thing and, let me also assure you, some marriages come out better for the experience.
"I don't see how ours could," Ellen said. "We didn't intend for anything like this to happen. I mean we didn't discuss it or anything like that. There was nothing premeditated about ... it just happened." She paused long enough to gain control of the tears that were threatening to well up in her eyes.
I waited for her to go on. Now that she had brought the problem out in the open I was sure that she would go on at her own pace without any prodding from me. I sat back to wait, lighting a cigarette for myself and watching the woman before me. It seemed incredible that the woman who had regally walked into my office moments before could be coming apart so vividly before my eyes.
"Why don't you just calm down for a minute and then tell me what happened."
She finished a cigarette before she seemed ready to speak again.
"Well, we met this new couple, John and I did, and we got along with them very well the first time we met them. You know it was one of these things where you just click. So we went along with the idea of spending a week end at a cottage at the shore. It was past season so we had a lot of privacy...
* * *
Mary and Bob, the couple we'd met, greeted us warmly as we arrived at their shore house. It was a beautiful little place with two downstairs bedrooms right next to each other. There was a wicker furnished living room. A kitchen and a back porch that overlooked a canal where they had a boat docked. It wasn't a large boat but they were very proud of it.
When we came in Bob gave me a kiss on the cheek and for some reason I was very aware of him being close to me. There was just something sensual about him. You know sometimes you can get a feeling like that about somebody. It had happened to me before but I had never, of course, let it go anywhere. I was happy with John. We had a good marriage together and we had worked to keep it working smoothly between us.
At first the magnetism I felt towards Bob didn't bother me that much. And we were having a wonderful time there. There was a lot of cross flirting like there always is but that didn't bother me either. I never thought that it could develop into anything more than just innocent flirtation.
We had gotten a couple bottles of wind for the afternoon and evening and we drank pretty steadily as it grew dark. We sort of sat around and played pinochle. The game seemed to go on and on. All during the game I kept getting these signals from Bob. You know you can tell when a man is really interested in you. He looks at you a special way. And you catch him looking at you like that and we feel warm inside. Appreciated.
I noticed that May was paying particular attention to John. But I supposed that was just normal to. Maybe I was blind to the whole thing. Maybe I wanted something to happen I'm not sure anymore.
Well as it got later, we all got tired of playing cards. So we got up from the table and put it away then we all went to refill out wind glasses. I can remember that my head was feeling a little fuzzy. Not drunk really, but light and breezy.
"Hey, why don't we dance of something," Bob suggested. "I'm sure we can find something on the radio." He went over and started playing with the radio.
"I feel a little light headed," I said out loud.
"That's great," Bob said. "After all we're here to have a good time, aren't we? ... well sure we are and if we drink a little too much. Well so what ... Relax, Ellen, just let yourself go."
"Are you all right," John asked. "Oh, sure, I'm going to be fine," I told them.
There was a moment of no conversation as Bob continued looking for music on the radio.
"Maybe I'll go make some coffee," I said.
"Good idea." May agreed. "I'll come help you."
The two of us went into the kitchen and started searching out the coffeepot and frying to find fresh coffee to brew.
"You're a lucky girl." May told me as we rummaged around the kitchen.
"What do you mean."
"John, of course."
"Oh?"
"Yeah, he's really a fine looking man," she said. "And so sexy too."
"Do you really think so?" I asked curious now what she was driving at.
"Of course. I mean it," May said, "We get a little blunted to the charm of our own husbands sometimes, but if you had just met John and he were single you'd feel just like I do about it. He'd be one catch."
We were silent for a while.
"I bet he's a ball in bed," May said after a while smiling at me.
The statement took me a little by surprise. My first reaction was to tell her that it was none of her goddamned business how my husband was in bed. Then I thought that kind of reaction would be kind of silly. After all we felt like we were going to be close friends with each other and a little personal question now and then didn't mean too much.
"I think so," I finally said.
"My Bob is the sexual athlete type." May confessed. "I mean he goes out and buys all those books on positions and has to try every last one of them. Sometimes I'm afraid he is going to break his neck trying to screw me upside down or something." May laughed. "I could just see it ... what an obituary. John D. died while screwing his wife upside down. The doctor said that he was apparently trying the exotic Japanese ling lang position when the accident occurred."
May was in gales of laughter by now, but the conversation was beginning to make me feel uneasy.
"Oh, honey, I'm sorry if I offended you," May said.
"Oh, no you didn't offend me." I lied. "Are you sure honey."
"Yes, I'm sure."
Soon, thank god, we had the coffee made and we took it out to the men. They were laughing at some joke one of them had told. Or at least that was what I assumed they were laughing at.
As it turned out se split up the chores. Bob and I cooked dinner and May and John had to clean up. While May and John went grumbling into the kitchen after a wonderful meal Bob asked me if I would like to take a walk outside.
"It's a beautiful night," he insisted. I looked towards the kitchen uneasily. May and John were laughing over something. "I don't know."
"I'm not some kind of moi lei you know," Bob said with a faked hurt expression on his face. "And it really is beautiful outside at this time of night." he persisted.
"We'll be back by the time they're through with the dishes," he, promised.
"All right." I said and followed him out the front door. He called back to the others to behave themselves while we were gone.
Outside Bob almost immediately took my hand. My first impulse was to withdraw it, but then I thought that such a gesture would seem really rather melodramatic. After all I wasn't a school girl anymore was I? And he had promised to behave.
I wondered as we walked if he realized the animal magnetism he held for me. I thought first that he did know about it, then I decided that he didn't. Then that he did. I just couldn't make up my mind.
We walked onto the sand and over a couple of dunes. Then he stopped. He turned towards me and took me into his arms.
"It's chillier than I thought," he said holding me to him.
I felt a surge of sexual desire that I hadn't experienced since I was a, teenager and was going with my first true boyfriend. The first male I had ever slept with.
"Please," I said softly, but my voice didn't hold much convictions and when he bent down to kiss me I lifted my face to his.
Almost immediately the kiss was turned into a passionate struggle. He felt the same magnetism towards me that I did towards him.
I pressed myself up against him as hard as I could. I could feel the hard bulge of his cock at the front of his trousers and realizing that I had turned him on so much turned me on more in turn.
"Please let me go," I murmured.
"You know you don't want me to do that." Bob said with a strange certainty that kind of irritated me.
But he was right. I really didn't want his to let me go. I wanted to stay in his arms. I wanted him to make love to me right there on the grassy knoll by the sand.
"I'm frightened," I said.
"Don't be." Bob tried to sooth me. His arms still around me he started lowering me to the grass. I can remember being thankful that for some reason I had worn a skirt.
Then we were in each others arms. His tongue was deep inside my mouth searching out and kindling passions that I hadn't felt in so very long.
My whole body seemed on fire from his touch as he lowered me onto the grass. I could hear a bird somewhere far away crying to me but I'm not sure if it was an illusion or not. I was aware that I was on this vacant stretch of beach in the passionate embrace of a man I hardly really knew and a man who was not my husband.
The thought was a shocking one. I still wanted this man with me. My legs felt like they would part at the slightest suggestion of pressure from him.
I could feel the whole weight of his body on mine and I arched myself up against him. His hands were on my breasts. The one hand was inside my blouse so that the naked hardness of my nipple was against the palm of his hand.
"Oh, please, please, why is this happening," I begged for him to explain.
"We can't help it, Ellen. It's between us and nature. We're meant somehow to be like this." he said as one hand slid up under my skirt.
Slid along the smooth flesh of my inner thigh then touched the pantied covered mound of my pussy.
"Oh, God," I moaned. "How can this be happening?" I turned my face away from his so that he could not kiss my lips again right away.
"Please, don't deny me, I must have you." Bob said. His hand stayed under my skirt and his fingers were caressing the mound between my thighs and thrills of excitement were shooting through my body.
"Oh, yes, yes," I cried as my hand reached out for the bulge at the front of his pants. "Yes, please make love to me ... I want you t to fuck me."
His tongue came heavier in my mouth and I could feel his fingers struggling with my panties.
"No, let me." I told him.
He pulled back for a minute while I flung up my skirt and lifted myself from the ground so that I could remove my panties and be naked under my skirt for his exploring hands or what ever else he wanted to place between my willing thigh.
"Oh, yea please come her now," I cried and he was in my arms again. His hand was up against the nakedness of my mound and a finger was slipping into the wet entrance of my cunt.
I pressed my hips against him.
"Don't wait, I need you now ... Please don't wait. Do it before I'm afraid to do it."
I heard him moan. In the dark I heard the whizz if his zipper being lowered. Then once more I felt the weight of his body between my open thighs. Then I felt the hardness of him at the entrance of my hole.
I welcomed him into me, feeling the full length of his prick penetrate me. I wrapped my legs around him and moaned again and again as he started his heavy stroke of fucking.
"Please harder, harder," I begged. "Fuck me harder,"
It was not like me. I was usually controlled in my love making but I kept repeating the word "fuck me, fuck me" over and over as Bob drove his heavy organ deep into my cunt again and again seeking release for both of us.
Then he exploded inside me. I froze with his cock deep inside me and slowly the world tumbled back in on me and I realized that I was lying here with a strange man's prick stuck into my cunt, and that I had betrayed my husband.
INTERVIEW TWO
NOTES:
In cases like this I like to have a chance to talk with the husband also. In this case I suggested that John W. come in to replace his wife at the second interview. He was middle aged. Well dressed and had an air of authority about him. Not the type of man I thought could take well to hearing that his wife had fucked with another man. Yet Ellen had assured me that John knew all about that night in the sand. But there was a question in my mind: what was John doing all the time his wife was outside in the throws of passion.
John came into my office briskly and shook hands with me.
"I understand you want to talk to me," he said sitting down and crossing his legs. His manner was one that said hurry up you're wasting my time. But I steadied myself against him and proceeded as I has planned.
"Your wife is upset about the types of sexual relations that have developed between you two and Bob and May. I wanted to hear your side of the story about how things got started between you four and where you think it might be leading from here."
I came right out with it because I was sure that John was the type of man who liked things dealt straight to him.
"Quite frankly, John," I said, "I'd like to know first of all what you were doing all the time your wife was out being fucked by Bob."
John seemed taken back by the statement at first. He hadn't expected me to deal it quite that straight. Then he regained his composure.
Well, as you probably know May and I were assigned to do the dishes...
The dishes didn't take us very long. We did a lot of flirting over them. And passed close to each other teasingly every time we had a chance. I didn't really think anything serious was developing then. I just figured that May was a big tease. And well, I like to flirt as well as the other guy and maybe I could get a little feel or some petting in with her in the bargain so I went along.
"I wonder where they went?" May asked me. She was sitting on the couch. She was wearing shorts and a brief halter. My wife's breasts are not very large. They're about average sized. May's tits were something else. They were gigantic. Almost too large. And she liked to show them off too. She showed them off by the way she moved and the way she edged by me so that her breast brushed your arm. That type of girl can really turn me on. I would have dearly liked to get my hands on those breasts of hers just for the experience of it.
We sat and smoked for a few minutes just sort of looking at each other.
Then since a silence had deepened between us May said "Why don't we go looking for them."
"We could get lost out there," I said.
"That might be interesting," May said winking at me. She was out of the chair and holding her hand out to me. "Come on."
I followed her out of the cabin. And we headed across the dunes. I found out later that we were heading in the opposite direction that Bob had taken my wife Ellen.
We walked for a long time and chatted about just about everything ... Then May lead me down onto the beach and we stood by the water's edge.
"It looks very inviting doesn't it." she said. She was standing very close to me. One of her large breasts was pressed against my arm. I was very aware of it and aware that there was a sexual tingling in my loins.
I started wondering if I dared make a pass at her. Was she expecting one or was she just flirting. Did her husband approve of her flirting or did he just tolerate it as part of inter-couple relationships.
"I'd love to go in." May said.
"Why don't you?" I asked.
I looked over at her as if daring her to take off her clothes and run into the water. At first I thought that she had meant to go in with her clothes but then it struck me that she was teasing me.
"I might just do that." she said. "Will you undo the back of my halter. I'll freeze if I get my clothes wet."
She smiled at me.
I unhooked the back of her halter and she tossed it down on the ground. Then I reached for her. For a minute those gorgeous large breasts were pressing against me. Then she pulled away.
She quickly got undressed and I followed her. I wanted to catch her and throw her down in the surf. I wanted her so badly. I wanted to kiss those tits of hers and rub my face in them.
But she alluded me for quite a while. Dunking in and out of the waves made it impossible for me to follow her.
Finally she came right behind me and put her arms around me. Her breasts were pressed into my back. I could feel them so clearly and shortly even the sharpness of her nipples as they pressed against my back chilled my flesh.
"Do you like me?" she asked teasing.
I turned towards her and took her in my arms.
"Of course, I like you, silly."
I could feel the pressures of our bodies full length along them. I could feel my own erection pressing against her smooth belly.
My hands came up and started caressing her breast. They were magnificent there in the moonlight. So large and drops of water all over them. Instead of being perfectly smooth they were goose fleshed. The nipples were large. I can't remember seeing nipples that large. I touched them first with my fingers then I bent down my head so that I could press my lips to one of them. I sucked the tip of the nipple between my lips and felt her body become more relaxed against me. It sort of seemed to melt into me as I suckled at her large tits.
She loved it. She kept moaning and pressing my face more firmly against the large orbs of her breasts. I then felt her hand move down over my belly and touch my cock. It was hard and ready for her touch. Slowly she started to stroke it.
"Let's go back onto land," she said, "I want that in me and I want it in me bad."
She licked my ear then broke away and ran up towards the beach. She finally found a patch of grass on one of the knolls and was lying there, waiting for me by the time I caught up with her. '
I stood there for a minute just looking at her.
She had long red hair that hung over her naked shoulders. Her breasts were flattened out by her lying down but still stood up like red tipped mountains waiting to be conquered.
I wanted to reach out again and touch them, but I also wanted the chance to just look at her in her nakedness under the brightness of the moon.
For a few seconds I, wondered if her husband knew she might be out here naked with me. But then I forced that thought out of my mind because it meant I'd also have to think about what May's husband might be doing with Ellen.
I trusted Ellen completely. At least that was what I told myself.
I shouldn't be doing this, my mind told me. But another part of me wouldn't let me leave it alone. I had to have that red-haired wanton who was lying naked with her legs spread slightly before me near the ocean at night. I had to have her.
I searched through my shirt pocket and came up with a pack of cigarettes and lit one for both of us. The light of the match flickered over the lush contours of her body and illuminated the fact that I still had a tremendous erection.
"Come on baby, are you just going to stand there and look all night?" she asked. She twitched a little bit, moving her body in ways that were calculated to drive me up a wall.
I knelt down beside her. Then I bent over and sucked at one of her tits.
"Oh, that's good," she said. "I like it when men suck my tits. Aren't they beautiful."
Her hand was at the back of my head pressing my face into the glorious mounds as I sucked at the nipples. She was right they were glorious. They were wonderful and I could have spent hours just touching then and feeling them against my face.
"Do you want to make love to me?" May asked after a couple of minutes of holding my head against her gigantic beautiful tits.
"What do you think."
She reached down and touched the hardness of my cock. "I think I'd like to suck it, That's what I think," she said.
I looked at her without saying anything.
"Do you want me to suck it?" she asked with a wry smile on her face. "I like sucking cocks as much as I like having my tits sucked."
My wife Ellen had never gone for oral sex so this offer seemed like to much to leave alone.
"Cone on he down honey and let mama May show you what good feels like."
I obeyed her lying on my back in the slightly prickly grass watching her as she climbed to her knees. Then she bent her face over me.
Long strands of her red hair fell towards me and touched my belly as her lips came into first contact with my cock. She pressed the tip of her tongue against the sensitive head and gripped it at the base with her long fingers .r
"I've got other trips, lover," May assured me. She sat back on her haunches. "Let's give you a little time to cool off, huh?" She smiled at me and looked down at my hard prick.
"All right," I said, but my voice sounded choked up like a kid's.
"How about a cigarette?"
Reluctantly I moved to my side and found the pack of cigarettes again. I lit one for each of us, once more admiring her body in the flickering light of the match.
She seemed so incredibly sexy. Not beautiful. She didn't have the aristocratic beauty that Ellen had. But she had an earthy sexiness. It seemed to me that she took sex in her stride. It was something important to her. Something she enjoyed. And she enjoyed it without guilt.
I wondered then if she and Bob had an agreement that they could have relations with other people whenever they wanted. I had heard that some couples nowadays had agreements like that but I had never run across such a couple.
For a moment I felt frightened that Bob might be trying to force Ellen into something. Then I remembered the times I'd seen her ward off party Casanovas. She was an expert at it. Nobody got anywhere with Ellen unless she wanted them to. Strangely enough, the thought that she might want to get somewhere with Bob never crossed my mind.
In fact, I felt pretty smug about things right then. I was having my cake and eating it, too. Or rather, May was the one who was eating the cake.
As I thought and smoked my erection subsided. I continued to just smoke and think.
"Where are you?" May asked.
"Lying here waiting for a very attractive and sexy female to finish her supper," I quipped.
She laughed. It was a good healthy laugh, I thought. It came from down in some animal part of her that was completely uninhibited.
"All right, big boy, you asked for it," she said. "But I see we have a little back-tracking to do." She noticed my flaccid penis.
She seemed to be studying it for a minute. Looking at it one way and then another.
"I think we can handle this problem," she said. Then she reached out with one hand and took hold of my cock. She held it upright and leaned down towards it. I felt her tongue touch a very sensitive spot just between the base of my penis and my testicles. Then I felt her rough tongue start a long slow lick upwards, starting at that sensitive spot and ending at the very tip of my prick.
She then slipped the head of my prick between her lips and sucked. It was an incredible feeling and it brought an immediate erection.
"There we are," she said, sitting back to admire her handiwork. "Now we can proceed."
Once more I felt her lips move smoothly over the head of my cock, then up and down slowly in an inch-long stroke, just taking the head of my cock into her mouth, then squeezing it out of her mouth with her lips, then letting it suck back in, then out again.
I thought I was going to go out of my mind. But she knew what she was doing. There was a sensation in my cock that told me it wanted to be all the way in her mouth. But she was teasing it. She wouldn't let it all the way in.
At the same time her fingers were feathering at my balls, increasing the sexual tension in my groin.
Then came that moment when she leaned forward and took the whole length of it into her mouth. I felt the head of my prick touch the back of her throat.
Now her hand was wrapped around my prick again, and she was stroking it up and down, up and down, her lips following the gentle movements of her fingers.
When I felt like I might come I tapped her hand and she would stop for a minute while the urgent feeling subsided.
But soon I couldn't stand it any longer. I started thrusting my cock into her mouth as if her mouth were her cunt. I could feel it hit the back of her throat with each long stroke. But she seemed to enjoy it. Her fingers worked faster and faster on my prick as did her lips and tongue. Until at last I couldn't stand it at all and I exploded into her mouth and throat. Hot streams of sperm I could feel shooting out to fill her mouth. Then I lay quiet.
When I looked up at her she was licking the last traces of sperm from the head of my cock. She smiled at me, a drop of white sperm sparkling on her lower lip.
INTERVIEW THREE
NOTES:
It was apparent to me from talking to both John and Ellen W. that the other couple had quite adroitly manipulated them into the position where each mate would be pressured to have relations with one of them. There was little doubt in my mind from the stories that Ellen and John told that both Bob and May had pre-planned the weekend to end up just as it had. They had each separately seduced John and Ellen. Then they were ready for the next step. That was the part that they were really aiming for.
While I would have been interested in learning John's side of what went on that evening after everyone had gotten together again at the cabin, he seemed reluctant to return for a further interview. Therefore I got the account of the rest of the evening from Ellen. It was a slightly confused but highly emotional account.
She looked nervous as she sat across from me during interview three. She looked nervous and reluctant herself to go on with the tale that was unfolding.
I handed her a cigarette and lit it for her. She thanked me, then smoked for several minutes without saying anything.
"I guess I'd better get on and tell you the rest of the tale, hadn't I?" Ellen asked. She was begging for encouragement I thought.
"I would like you to do that. Keeping things secret can be very painful. The things you keep secret can start eating away at your insides because they have nowhere else to go."
"All right," Ellen said. "But it's a little confused in my mind." She paused. "I'm not sure I remember it all-or remember it in the right order. But things were quite different when we all regathered at the cabin..."
Of course neither John nor I had the slightest idea what the other had been up to. I mean, I trusted John, but more than that I didn't think that May was his type. And May's quick "We were looking out for you. What happened, get lost?" threw me off completely.
"We were just walking and talking," Bob lied. "It's a good night for that. And sometimes it's better to talk alone with someone than to always talk with them when their husbands are around."
"I can agree with that," John said. I don't know what he was thinking. Maybe he was relieved that there was no hint that anything had occurred between Bob and myself. Maybe he was just glad that I wasn't suspicious.
"Let's all have another drink," Bob suggested, a broad sociable smile on his face. At first I thought the smile was because he had cuckolded my husband and had gotten away with it, but I later suspected, then became sure, that Bob knew all along what would transpire between May and John. At any rate, everyone agreed that drinks around would be an excellent idea.
Everyone appeared tired from their walk, though no one would let on to anyone else why it was that we were all tired.
I mean, I couldn't just come out and say to John, "Boy am I tired because I just fucked like a maniac with Bob." That would have been ridiculous. Bob put a gallon bottle of red wine on the round wooden table which we sat around, and filled each of our glasses from it.
We sat around sipping the wine and without knowing it, we sort of allowed Bob to take over control of the conversation and the direction of the evening.
"You know," Bob said after we'd all had our first sips of wine and most of us had lit cigarettes, "it's funny how you can feel really close to people almost right away when you meet them. I mean both May and I felt that way about you two when we met you. And I'm glad you could come down here for the weekend."
I bet you are, I thought. You sure got a good lay out of it. But then the bitterness sort of disappeared and I pushed the thought of what had transpired outside into the back depths of my mind.
"I wish we could even feel closer to each other than we do now," Bob said. He looked around to see what kind of reaction he was getting from the group.
"What do you mean, Bob?" John asked.
"Well, I mean I wish we could be more natural with each other . . , . you know, throw off the inhibitions and really get close."
"I feel the same way," May said. She looked over at John with a look I only understood quite a while after that weekend.
"Maybe if we all sat in a circle on the floor and held hands," Bob said, "maybe then we could feel closer than we do now. I'm afraid that we're going to lose contact with each other, and good friends-well, they're something to value."
"Isn't that something like an encounter group?" John asked.
"Something like it."
"I've always been suspicious of them."
"They can be quite wonderful," Bob insisted. "May and I have gone to a couple and we have come away more sincere within ourselves. Oh, come on, John, give it a try."
"All right."
I had almost been hoping that John would stop things right there. I already was getting an uneasy feeling that Bob was pushing us towards something that I didn't want.
But soon we had pushed the table out of the way and all of us were sitting on the floor in a circle. Boy, girl, boy, girl. John was on my right, Bob was on my left. The wine bottle was in the middle of the floor.
"Now, let's all join hands," Bob said, taking my hand in his and taking his wife's hand in his other one.
"This feels kind of stupid to me," John said.
"Just try it, John," Bob said. "It's not going to hurt you any."
"All right," Bob went on, "now just feel the circle around you, feel the energy go from one person to another to another to another all the way around the circle. Doesn't it make you feel part of the group, like the group was a family you were safe in?"
He was quiet for a moment. "Now open your eyes," he went on. "Now, May, you first kiss me and then turn and kiss John."
May did as she was told.
"That was kind of nice," John said, beginning to get into the swing of the thing-
"All right, Ellen," Bob said. "It's your turn. First kiss your husband, and then kiss me."
I did as he asked me to. First I kissed John. It was a rather long kiss and I tried to say something to him through it, but we weren't really communicating. Something was coming between us, I could feel it. Then I turned and kissed Bob. I felt guilty at wanting to stop the kiss immediately, so I let the kiss linger almost as long as I had kissed John.
"Hey, that's not fair," John protested. "I didn't get to kiss May that long."
"Well then, go ahead."
I don't remember the exact sequence of events, but soon we were all very free with kissing each other. I can remember that now the kiss with Bob was a long, tongue-involved kiss. John didn't seem to mind since he was obviously getting the same thing from May.
In fact, he seemed to be enjoying it as much as anyone else.
"Hey," Bob said suddenly, after refilling all our wine glasses for I don't know the what N'th time, "Let's all get undressed and really feel close to each other."
"Oh no you don't," I protested. "I'm not sitting here naked."
"Oh, come on," Bob said. "What about you, John?"
"I'll do it if you will, besides it might be fun, as well as kind of sexy."
"Then it's settled," Bob said, and got to his feet and took off his shirt. Then he started undoing his pants. I can remember thinking to myself, He's really going to do it, he's going to strip naked. I sat there, fascinatedly watching him strip to the buff.
Then he stood there completely naked.
"Come on, the rest of you. I don't want to be the only one."
May got up and started undoing her halter. I sat there watching her. I was surprised at the size of her breasts. They were huge, yet they didn't sag as I had expected them to. Then John was undressing and I was the only one who was still clothed.
"Come on, honey," John said. "Don't be such a wet blanket. It feels fine."
Reluctantly I got to my feet then, as the others watched. I got undressed until I was standing naked with them.
"All right now, Everyone hug each other. Ellen, first hug John, then me. May, you do the same thing."
It was a lot different hugging when we were naked. I was much more conscious of the stirring of Bob's penis against me as our bare bodies pressed against each other. Then he was kissing me passionately and I was responding to him. I remember reaching down my hand and touching his penis.
My mind kept telling me that what was going on was ridiculous. That we were all married people and that we shouldn't be acting like a bunch of kids at a sex party.
Finally Bob let me go.
We sat down again with our arms around each other.
"Now, let's play a game," Bob said. "Now, you, Ellen, know what turns John on, right? Well, we'll go around in a circle. First you do something to John that you know turns him on, then he has to do the same thing to May. May does it to me and I do it to you. Then it's John's turn to start and he had to do something to you that turns you on."
Of course the object of the game was to get an orgy going. I think we all realized that in the beginning, but were unwilling to admit it to anyone. Maybe we all wanted something like this to happen.
I can remember lying naked and taking John's penis into my mouth. It was hard and wonderful against my tongue and I wanted to drive him crazy just to show the others that I could do it.
Then when I looked up Bob was there and he was kissing me.
It was really crazy. Bob whispered in my ear, "I'm going to fuck you, baby."
Then he moved away. I took John's penis back into my mouth and started sucking on it. I'd never liked to do that before. I don't know why I wanted to do it that night. It just seemed like such a wild thing to do.
Then I felt fingers on my thighs. They were pressing my thighs apart and probing at my mound. I didn't know whose they were at first, then I realized that it was Bob and he had really meant it. He was going to stick his cock in my cunt while I was lying there sucking at my husband.
For a moment I wondered where May was. I stopped sucking John's prick long enough to look up. I could see that May and John were kissing. I wondered what it felt like to kiss one girl and have another girl sucking at your cock.
But then I felt the first thrust of Bob's prick inside of me. He thrust in and started pumping hard, in and out, in and out. Then I felt John move out of reach and I felt myself being turned onto my back.
"It's just us now, baby," Bob told me, taking the man on top position. "Come on, let's have a good long fuck. You really turn me on."
We were lying there. My legs were spread and his cock was still in me. I started looking around to find John.
"They're on the couch," Bob told me.
I finally spotted them. It seemed unreal. There was May, completely naked on the couch, and between her legs was my husband. I could see that May was reaching down and guiding John's prick into her hole.
My reaction to that was twofold. It excited me at the same time it frightened me and made me jealous. One part of me wanted to get up and scream at John for letting all this happen. Another part of me wanted to just fuck the hell out of Bob. To have a ball, to see how many orgasms I could have with Bob, and the hell with John. He wanted an orgy, so we'd have one. I was already one up on him. Or so I thought at the time.
"All right, fuck me," I moaned, as Bob started stroking harder and harder. "Fuck me like I've never been fucked before. Hard and long and strong. Make me come over and over again, please, oh please. Fuck me good!"
Then there was nothing for me but the large prick inside me. All my bodily sensations were concentrated in that area. We humped and pounded on the floor.
I felt like calling out to John, "Hey John, watch me fuck! How's May, John? Good as me? Huh?"
I felt like my mind was all confused as I lay on my back, and for a few minutes I felt completely cut off from the whole thing. As if I wasn't participating in it at all but was standing off somewhere watching the four people fucking away in the little beach cottage.
And I could see myself. Ellen M, wife for seven years, and not having been unfaithful once. Ellen lying on her back, her legs obscenely in the air, waving frantically as a man she'd only known for about a week shoved his prick into her willing cunt for the second time that night.
And over there was her husband, slamming his cock into the wet hole of the brazen redhead. The wife of the man who was fucking Ellen.
It was all so strange. And I was beginning to be frightened.
But then I felt the pressure build up inside me. I knew that I was going to come and there wasn't anything I could do about it. I knew I was coming. And my whole body exploded.
It felt like my mind exploded too, at the same time and as I came out of it, I was crying softly to myself. Crying for what was happening. And crying because I was sitting naked on the floor having just had sex with a man I didn't particularly like, and was now watching my husband who I loved thrusting hard and fast into some other woman right in front of my eyes.
Then I saw John thrust faster and faster, then freeze his cock deep inside her. Then he relaxed and rolled off her.
He refused to meet my eyes as he fumbled for a cigarette. And I just nodded as Bob asked if I'd like another glass of wine. I felt very tired, too tired even to get up off the floor and cover myself.
CONCLUSION
Illegitimate sex had seriously traumatized Ellen's marriage to John. It was quite apparent, not only to me, but to Ellen, that she could not continue with this sort of behavior and live a life without guilt or depression or pain.
John finally agreed to come in with her once a week, and since that time, they have made a good deal of progress in their understanding of one another, and how they got themselves into the problem in the first place.
CASE NUMBER SIX
Glenda W.
INTERVIEW ONE:
The case of Glenda W. is an unusual but unfortunately short case of extreme sexual drive. Glenda was only twenty-four when she walked into my office, tall and lean and very pretty, and asked for help.
She said she desperately needed it, and felt as if she was heading for some bizarre, unfortunate end if she didn't find help in changing her ways. I sat her down quickly and we began the interview.
I have rarely met a woman so willing to talk about herself. Never once did I have to prod her, never once did I feel she was holding anything back from me. She started right in and told me everything. The following is a transcript of that first interview.
I'm a whore, Doctor. I know that might sound rather outright and harsh, but it's true. I don't mean a prostitute either. No, maybe that would be better because then at least I would be getting something for what I do. But I get nothing but trouble from my sexual encounters.
No, I'm just a whore, a cheap slut. That's the way I feel. But you see, I'm married, and have a child. That's the problem. If I didn't have any responsibilities, maybe I'd just go out and do what I want, and no one would suffer for it. But as it is, I've got to stop what I'm doing, for my child's sake at least.
This is not a new problem. Oh, I managed to keep it hidden for a few years, when I met Bill and we were going to get married. But we've been together for three years now and I feel the old urges creeping back. I don't know what to do at all, and I feel I may really go off the deep end.
It started, I guess, when I was sixteen. That's when I had my first sexual experience. But I couldn't do anything the way everyone else does. No, I had to do it big. That first experience was more intense than any most women might have in their entire lives.
I was a pretty good-looking girl at that age. I was going to high school, and I guess I knew a lot about sex. I read a lot, and talked a lot with older girls, and they all told me how great making love could be. They kept on saying that I should wait until I get older and find out.
But I didn't want to wait. I wanted to find out what it was like right away. I knew I was young, and that I would get a bad reputation if I started making love with the boys in school, and I managed to keep myself, to keep my curiosity, from taking me off on the adventures I was dreaming about.
I used to think of how it would be when I first made love. Oh, I wanted to do it so bad. I just couldn't figure it out, how it would work, what it would feel like. But I felt a strong sexual urge in myself, and I knew I would have to fight it off.
I lost my virginity in a strange way. No, I didn't lose it to a boy, I lost it to myself. Yes, I did it with a dildo, my mother's dildo.
I never found out why she had it. I knew she was happy with my father, and sometimes when I was lying in bed at night, I could hear their bed creaking, and knew what they were doing. Yes, my mother had a dildo. She used it, I knew that, for when I found it and studied it, I found it had a strange odor, the odor of a cunt.
That somehow made me very excited. I knew what the rod was for. like I said, I talked a lot and read a lot. I knew I could slip it into my own cunt, and maybe it would feel like the real thing.
Of course, I had no way of knowing what the real thing was like. But the dildo was fine with me. I remembered that night, in the darkness of my bedroom, lying under the covers naked, my body glistening in the moonlight coming in the window, and the rod wet and warm from rubbing it against my lips. But I tried to fight it off.
At first I didn't intend to stick it in. But once I rubbed it against my cunt lips and against my swollen clit, I couldn't stop myself. I had to stick it in, and I did.
But that wasn't the first big thing that happened to me. No, that was nothing, that was nothing compared to what would happen a few months later.
That day a whole group of boys and girls had stayed home from school and we were hanging around Holly's house. Her parents had both worked and we were really having a party. Some of the boys were drinking and the girls were all laughing and running around.
Then we started to make out. Each of us sort of ended up with a guy, and I found myself with Hal, who I really didn't like. But I didn't want to be left out.
Anyway, I started to drink some wine and felt it going to my head. Then I started to make out with Hal, just kissing and stuff like that, but for some reason I was getting really turned on.
The more I got turned on, the more I didn't want to stay with Hal. I wanted to do something daring, I wanted to really have fun, but I didn't want to do it with Hal.
The more I drank, the more I wanted to do something. We were sitting on the couch and some of the couples had trotted off to the bedroom. Hal was holding me and I was kissing him on the lips, feeling the wetness of his mouth against mine, shooting my tongue out into his mouth and feeling his hands trying to get past mine to grope for my tits.
Then I decided to let him go. He was delighted and immediately grabbed my firm, round tits. It felt great. I started to breathe heavy, and he did, too. He was pleased, so pleased to be able to fondle my tits.
Boy, did I feel daring that day. I wanted to show the other girls in the room just how unafraid I was, and I pulled my blouse up for Hal. They were shocked, and so was he. But I pulled his head down and made him suck on my tits.
It was like getting drunk with power. Yes, I could show them all what I could do. I could show them all that I wasn't afraid to do anything, I thought.
I let Hal suck on my tits. I felt his tongue licking out around my nipples, wetting them and then sucking up the cap into his mouth, his hand rubbing against my back, my lips caressing his ear as he sucked.
But that wasn't enough. I didn't want Hal. I stood up and asked Jack if he wanted to go have some fun in the bedroom. Hal was furious with me, and I said he could come along if he wanted.
I was shocked when he did. I had thought he wouldn't dare try to cut in if I wanted to go with Jack, but sure enough Hal came along, too.
We got into the bedroom, and I was really going wild. I don't know what got into me, but I didn't care what they thought. In fact, I wanted them to think I was really a sexy girl. I wanted to fuck.
Oh, I did. First I started to make out with Jack while Hal sat around and watched. I knew Jack liked me, for when I slipped my hands down along his thighs and pressed against his crotch, I could feel the bulge of his cock, stiff and hard and very warm.
I wanted to see it, to feel it, and I pulled down the zipper and made him take his pants off. I looked over at Hal and saw he was really going out of his mind watching. But Jack was hot, real hot, and his cock was stiff and pointing up at his face in a slight bow when he had stripped.
I stripped joyfully, and dived onto the bed. I didn't know what was going on by now, but I knew I was enjoying it. I felt as if I wanted to enjoy every boy there, to feel what it would be like to go with different boys, maybe to compare them all.
Jack was the first. He was so shocked and pleased that I wanted him to fuck me, he could hardly move. I had to pull him on the bed and on top of me, then after he had rubbed his cock against my bush for a while, I had to reach down, feel the stiff tool in my hand, and rub it against my cunt lips and clit.
He got the message, and inserted it between the lips and prepared to thrust. I remember holding on so tight to his shoulder, waiting for that first lunge, the lunge that would fill my cunt with hot cock flesh for the first time in my life.
I howled loudly when that lunge came, and his body clapped into mine, his rod diving right up into my twat and filling it with his thick, warm member. Oh, it was so nice, the friction of that warm organ against the raw walls of my snatch. I wanted it to stay there forever, wanted to feel my cunt filled for the rest of my life.
But Jack couldn't do it. He started to pump, and that really drove me crazy. I felt his rod slipping out, and then screamed again when he drove it in hard. It was so hot inside me, so long and thick, reaching all t e way into my cunt and splitting my cunt lips apart, his body coming down hard on my tits and leaving them shimmering.
But he started to pump very quickly and then I felt the hot fluid filling my cunt. He slammed his cock in and out and I screamed to feel that heat in my snatch, but after he had drained his balls I was left hot, and he was limp.
I went down for Hal next, and he too came almost right away. I guess they really loved me. I knew that I had a tight, wet cunt, and that it fit the cock like a glove. They pumped in and again I felt the cock flesh slashing in and out along my tight wall, and it again drove me crazy.
But when Hal had finished, I wanted more. It was not enough for me to have two boys fuck me that day. I wanted them all.
Really, I would have preferred to have just one, if one could have kept his cock hard for a long time and not shot his spunk so quickly, but as it was, I had to keep switching around to keep a hard cock in my cunt.
I got every cock there inside me. The other girls were so mad at me for taking the boys away, but of course, they wouldn't do what I would do.
The girls never spoke to me again. I don't know for sure how many boys I fucked that day. I fucked them all. The next day I realized I had the reputation of a whore, and all the boys were always chasing me around from that day on.
I guess they had heard what a good fuck, or at least what an easy fuck I was. I really went at it that day. I couldn't stop asking for more, even after Jack had fucked me a second time. I felt my cunt filled to the brim with piping hot gism, and yet I wanted more.
That happened again soon later. This time it was just me and about ten boys at the house, and we all went there for one reason, to fuck. They were so anxious, and so was I.
That did it for any reputation I might have had left. I fucked for all of them, some of them twice. They kept on telling me how great I was, how unbelievable, and I was pleased. But really, I didn't care what they thought, as long as I had a cock inside me.
I can't explain it. All I know is once I feel that long, hard thing slipping between my cunt lips and caressing the tender walls of my chasm, I wanted it to stay there. As soon as it disappeared, I had to find a replacement. That's just the way it was. So when the boys would come, I would push them off and call out for another, and sure enough, within a few seconds another boy would dive on top of me and shove his cock deep into my yearning snatch.
It went on like this for a while, but then I met Bill one night. He hadn't heard about me and wasn't interested in me for that reason. No, he just liked me and I liked him. We went back to his house and I sucked his cock, then fucked with him a few times.
He was so delighted, and wanted to see me every day. That was fine with me, for now I had a steady cock to fill my pussy whenever I wanted.
We got married soon and things looked really good. I had fucked for at least a hundred guys by then, but he never found out. He still doesn't know what I'm really like. If he finds out, it will crush him.
That's why I'm here. I can't go on like this. I can't continue to fuck for Bill and no one else. I have to go out and really have a good old time, but with Bill around, I can't.
I want to find help, so that I can overcome this urge to go out and fuck with someone. Why can't Bill satisfy me? He's good in bed, and I like him, but still, there's this nagging urge to go out with someone else that I fear is going to get me in a lot of trouble very soon.
It already happened once. Bill doesn't know anything about it, but one night I went for a drive to my friend's house for an evening of coffee and chatting, and drove past the local cocktail lounge. I was suddenly tempted to go inside, to see what would happen, to see if men would still find me attractive, and I did.
I found that the men were drooling over me. I really am good looking, you know. I had one drink and I thought, why not? I left with this guy that said he was living at a construction site nearby.
This man was a steel worker, a big brute of a man. He couldn't want to get me in bed, and practically threw me onto his bed when we got to his trailer. Oh, I loved that. I knew that this was the first time I had fucked with someone else since I had been married and had the baby, and I really enjoyed that night.
The guy had a tremendous cock, and a big thick one with huge balls, and we fucked for hours. He kept on coming and coming, and after a few hours he was wiped out.
I wish I didn't have to say what comes next. But I suppose you can figure it out. Sure enough, there were about five other steel workers in the trailer camp that were hot for me, and I went down for them all. I fucked them all once, then a few of them again, writhing all night under their massive, eager bodies in that trailer, their cocks splitting me wide open and thrilling me like never before.
I can't remember all of them, that's one of my problems. Specifically, I remember Marty best of all the steel workers. We fucked, and fucked.
His chest bore heavily on my tits, crushing them, the nipples feeling the soft hairs of his torso, my hands pulling him closer, moving down to his buttocks, pushing them in, forcing his full length into my snatch. His balls bounced against me and his prick filled me. We fucked like that, slowly, lazily, enjoying the crispness of the air, the coolness of the leaf-scented atmosphere. Most of all we were enjoying the feeling of our fuck.
On and on we went like that. He was aiming at that wonderful moment when he would shoot his hot load deep in me and I, fearing that again I wouldn't come, that again the ever-recurring tragedy of unsatisfaction would rip me apart and leave me sad and needy.
The fuck was wondrous, beautiful, exquisite, his prick toying deep inside my twat, my muscles gripping at his whang as he forced in and out, his balls bouncing against me, his body crushing me, his mouth muttering moans and groans and sighs as the hot sensation of the pre-orgasm filled him.
I moved, spreading my legs wide, pushing my buttocks up, jutting my cunt up to him, taking his full length. He sped up, moving harder as he pistoned me. We fucked like that, increasing the tempo with every stroke, the force, the velocity, the power. We fucked, each stroke getting faster and faster and harder, the heat of our body friction increasing and setting off fires deep in me. My pussy burned with desire, with the desire to come.
Oh, if I could only come.
He fucked, his teeth gritting, his sweat pouring profusely off him, his moans in my ear and then his voice whimpering.
"Ohhhh, I'm going to come. Get ready! Get ready!"
I squeezed my cunt muscles tight. His prick shivered deep in my snatch. I gripped at him as he moved, his randy rod coming to the bring that I wished I could reach and then pass.
The slow fuck, the joyous and happy fuck that he felt was not mine. I knew, again, that I would be thwarted the moment that I should be coming. But I didn't let on. I wanted Marty to enjoy it even though I was suffering.
I knew I needed help then. I felt the strangest urges taking hold of me, and knew that unless something happened soon, I would find myself in trouble. I decided to take someone's advice and come to see you.
I have to get help fast. If I don't, I'm afraid they may put me away. I don't know what for, but somehow what I'm doing seems illegal or something.
The interview ended there, and we made another appointment. I could see that Glenda was in bad shape. Her problem was not uncommon, but its severity was.
She too seemed eager to get back for our second interview. She really wanted to help herself, and was willing, she said, to do anything that I thought might help. But I had no suggestions to make after only one interview.
CONCLUSION
Unfortunately, I never got to see her for that second interview. I learned from a mutual friend what had happened, and to this day I'm sorry I didn't try to help her sooner. I just didn't realize the severity of her problem, or how close she was to the end.
I learned that she had indeed been arrested. She had somehow ended up at a wild party all alone with twelve men. The women had apparently left for some reason, perhaps driven off by her antics.
The way I piece it together, she went berserk and started to grab everyone. The men went at her, once, then twice, then again, until they started to worry about her. Finally, they called the hospital, and said they feared she had gone out of her mind.
I was sorry to learn that she indeed had. She was taken away, her husband was told, and her child was left without a mother. But hopefully this will only be for a short time, for I understand she's making great progress at the hospital.
GENERAL CONCLUSION
We have seen through this study the many varying manifestations of sexual disorders-disorders that are not necessarily "deviant," but disorders that disturb and depress the lives of those who cannot seem to cope with their problems.
Both the young and the older are affected, as I have proven in the variety of cases.
A young almost-child who cannot cope with her tremendous amount of sexual desire runs to promiscuity as a way out. For her, reality is too frightening, and so she uses sex in a manner that takes her away from reality, away from herself.
Women who cannot handle their marriages, who are sexually unfulfilled for one reason or another, have come to express their sexual desires in more varied areas, have spread their interests outside their husbands, to the men who will and who are able to satisfy them.
It is, undoubtedly, a rather frightening situation, when one considers the number of persons who are unsatisfied in their sexual lives.
It is my firm conviction that only through studies such as this one, such as the numbers of other reliable ones that have been conducted, will we be able to find an answer for such dissatisfaction.
