With the publication of "A Loose Screw" Ray Chalmers incurred the wrath of the English medical establishment, especially the psychiatrists. His frank revelations of the sexual power an unethical doctor can wield over the sex lives of his women patients, outraged the profession. The Chief Censor promptly banned the book in London, and Paris followed suit. The novel managed to circulate "underground" and readers generally agreed that such an unusual study of the sex habits of the middle-class woman with plenty of time on her hands had never before been made.
We can better understand the subconscious motivations of the characters in this bizarre drama of sex in the light of psychological analysis. The famous Dr. S. Ferenczi states from his case histories:
"Mrs. T. accepted her wifely sex intercourse obligations merely as an unavoidable necessity. She much preferred her husband to indulge in cunnilingus with her, as she could then imagine him to be a female lover. She ascribed her dislike of males to the fact that when she was eleven years old a friend of the family had exposed his penis to her. He had tried to insert the head into her rectum, but was frightened off by her loud cries. Later, she refused to tell her mother what had happened and was spanked.
"As soon as she had her first period she began to be powerfully drawn towards other girls. As her sexual instinct awoke fully, she began to engage in various forms of mutual masturbation with the girls at school. She progressed from finger stimulation of her vagina to the achievement of orgasms by having the other girls kiss her vagina lips, clitoris and rectum.
"The employment of penis-like substitutes such as candles, bananas, and douche nozzles soon followed. She achieved great notoriety throughout the school after she purchased a large imitation rubber penis. She employed it on her willing partners and experienced the most intense orgasms when they in turn used the dildo on her vagina or anus.
"She generally preferred to play the active, or the man's role. She would become so erotically excited when employing the rubber penis on another girl's vagina, that she would have an orgasm as the girl achieved her climax without needing any further vaginal manipulation of any kind ..."
The reader can perhaps see from this book that sexual perversion is really a form of character immaturity.
Continental Classics presents this extraordinary novel, complete and unexpurgated. It is recommended only for the graduate student or mature adult reader.
Allan Saunders, M.A. New York City May, 1968
Archive Note: The large number of misspellings and printing errors (including repeated lines, etc.) present in the original pocketbook are faithfully reproduced in this text. No attempt whatsoever has been made to correct those misspelled or misused words.
Archive Note: There was no section 'IV' in this paperback.
I
I just got back to my car. and of course, there was the ticket, between the wipers and the windshield. How stupid of me, and I did know that the new parking restrictions had been extended to a great part of the left bank district. I should have been more careful, a visit to the analyst lasts at least as long, if not more as the complete permanent treatment at a beauty parlor. Strange man that Dr. Alcan... Rather small, bony, sort of olive complexion, shiny, just like his head, he must shave it everyday... His very clear and magnetic eyes were first very unpleasant for me to look at. But after the very first words of our first conversation I felt perfectly at ease.
I stretched on his couch, in the semi-darkness of his office. He sat behind me. slightly sideways, I could not see him, but I could feel his presence and his eyes on the nape of my neck produced a sort of numbness in all my being. And when the questions. on a low tone, strated that rape of the innermost intimate secrets of my life. I had the impression of a scalpel baring the most private parts of my personality. My sex even felt a strange excitation.
I could "feel" my body, its weight and the warmth of my blood rushing to the erectile poles of my feminity. Strange feeling that of being conscious of an underlying eroticism, without any amorous provocation either by the eyes or hands or presence or any other palpable event. I had gone at Alcan's office willingly even though I dimly perceived the impulses that led me to do so. My only intention was to free myself, through any treatment that he may deem necessary, of the demons within me. A friend of mine had that to say after I had confided in her: "My dear, the bitches of hell are eating each other in your belly..."
I was thinking about that sentence when I was crossing the treshold of the building. Boulevard SaintGermain, where the Dr. Lived. And at that thought a certain trouble set in me without letting me understand excatly its nature.
I suddenly remembered of my pre-adolescent days, when at church, intentionally, I placed my knees on the edges of the bench, or even more on the edges of a ruler that I had taken from my book-case. I was inflicting upon me a pain, as prelude to mortification. I found necessary to do so to prepare myself for confession, waiting for the other penitents to be through with the priest, I could hear the rumble of words, and the noise of his shoes on the floor of the narrow booth.
I was expecting from that pain a better disposition to contrition. On the contrary the pain was irradiated through my whole body, reaching the erected buds of my promising breasts. I already knew confusely that I carried within me the Vice, even before the first cry that I uttered when I was dragged out of my mother's womb.
Quite small I already knew the reaction of the sweet little bump of mu pubis hen my finchid that I sweet little bump of my pubs when my finger explored it after my pee, or even in my bed at night, or sometimes during the day. The child that I was then announced already he woman that I was to become.
And what a woman... A female, perpetually in heat should I say... A bitch, mad with her body of her ass, should I even add. for I have now reached that point... I now dwell on obscenity and the vilest of trash... Who would know it, looking at my friends of the "good" society. All these snobs, careful with their manners and language. A world whose doors were opened to me by the fortune inherited from my father.
Is it the fear of what some people call my "depravations" that has led me to ask for the help of an analyst? Did I want to save myself from complete decay as a result of my erotic folly?... Probably, because I do still remain clear-minded.
I am still normal in the desire that a woman has to give herself to the man that she loves. To make love and give herself to the embrace of er husband, with a certain pudor first, then more and more openly, to end up like an animal, wiggling its cunt and offering itself to be sired by the erected male, in a frenzy of erratic shudders.
There would be nothing to worry about in that behaviour if I did not feel lesbian as well; I feel considerable happiness in caressing the body of a woman, lavishing her breasts, her belly with abominable kisses.
I have an intellectual pleasure in brushing my lips to that damp flower, that mouth of pleasure, to pry its lips open, insert my ongue. and titillate, lick, and suck that little clitoris, replica of my own love bud that I have been fingering for so many years.
But if I like that kind of escapade with a partner, consenting or not-the latter giving me even more pleasure, because of the thought of rape that it suggests.-I still like the "unnatural" embraces of the male. Other pleasures take me to other circles of joy and ecstasy when I feel a man fucking my ass, when his hard and hot dick forces the opening of my little hole, and when the penis finally discharges in my bowels a lukewarm flow, reminiscent of the glycerine enemas of my childhood.
Yes I adore for a lover to fuck my ass brutally and deeply, I even like the pain at the moment of penetration... I am as satisfied by that form of posession as by the regular way... And when I am being corn-holed I come with seemingly no end in sight... and I add to the pleasure of the penetration. that of caressing my vulva and the little bump with frenzy.
I should be ashamed of my behaviour. Sometimes I try to react against what my education depicts as being reviling. But soon those "bitches of hell" are back in me, and I am back on my way to fulfillment of the flesh, fully conscious of the abyss towards which these excesses are leading me.
The humiliation, the brutalities, the threat of the whip and even the terrible reality of the blows received, all contribute to put me in a condition of sexual excitement such as to make me lose all control and drag me to the most abominable depths of debauchery. All that would still be benign if other desires were not adding themselves to the climax of my pleasure. Why not admit them, from the moment that I really want to get rid of them, the admission of my sins will help me. Now I have blurred desires of murder, to slaughter, to slit a soft throat... To devour the male or the female making love to me. or even to be devoured and maimed myself.
The other night, while my husband was making love to me in the most unoriginal way possible I bit his mouth so violently that I nearly tore his lip open... Simultaneously my hands left his loins and came to circle his neck as if I wanted to stringle him. John had some trouble to disentangle himself and then he looked at me straight in the eyes:
"What is the trouble with you Jacqueline? are you going completely mad?..."
Mad. that was the word... and perhaps a nearing reality... I then panicked.
I do not love my husband anymore, in the litteral sense of the word. I yeld to him whenever he feels like it. and that is none too often... And I betray him almost daily. I do not have a regular lover, I just sleep with the man. or the woman, most appealing to me at the moment. John travels a lot and this gives a complete freedom of action that he never refused me anyway. He only fucks me as a matter of hygiene, and sometimes has his own little escapades.
In the warmth of the conjugal bed, strangely enough, I suffer from a certain amount of inhibitions which prevents me to free myself to my husband the same way as I do with my occasionnal lovers. With him I come little or not at all. So what?... I give myself remorselessly some compensations that he could reproach me. But we are both quite discreet with one another.
I will not be able to keep that discretion however if my escapades; end tragically some day or another and I am beginning to fear it. I hace kept for John enough admiration to spare him from a scandal. Besides that would be disastrous to his reputation, henceforth to his business.
Whateve common sense there is left in me obliged me to put a halt to my carnal impulses. Am I or am I not responsible of my deportments? And how can one answer affirmatively when one has been raped at the tender age of ten?
And in what conditions... Branded by the horror of a certain autumn night of 1945, I cannot, I could not be normal again...
It is in order to free myself from certain memories, some even anterior to that terrible night, that I went to see Dr. Alcan. I knew his reputation of saviour of lost souls. A friend of mine, whose name I shall keep to myself, told me about his methods, not without a certain troubled smile. I decided not to try to know more of his methods before meeting the man on a professionnal level. But after the first interview I am still unable to come to a clearcut conclusion. All I can say is that had the man departed violently from his purely professionnal attitude, he could have asked of me anything. I would have vilely agreed, just as before whenever I was sollicitated.
II
Magnetic tape recorded by Dr Alcan. April 16 1960. First psyhoanalysis of Mrs Jacqueline D... Motivation for consulting.-characterial nymphomania accompanied of desires of murder at the moment of orgasm.
"'...Please Madam, relax on the couch... Relax... Close your eyes and let yourself go... Breathe slowly, let yourself go, you are alone with your thoughts..."
"Yes Doctor..."
"There is no Doctor. I am no longer in that room... You are there alone, completely alone. And if you hear a voice, it is not mine... I do not exist... You are going to go back in time... back... back to the days of your girlhood... Tell me everything that comes to your mind...
(Long silence... The only noise is that of the heavy breathing of the patient.)
(Voice of Dr Alcan...)
"Now, remember... The big house in the country of Constantine where you were born... Some twenty eight years ago... The estate... the arab servants... the garden... the flowers..."
(Weak and muffled, voice of Mrs. D...)
"Yes... The garden... It was a morning in spring... The weather already hot. The scent of the mimosas. I had been playing all morning, then in the bushes I heard something... Somebody was breathing hard, sighing and moaning... I came closer, and then I saw Yucef, the son of the foreman... Yucef was not alone... He was kissing, standing against a tree, another boy, younger than he, a little negro, Ali. They both had lowered their pants and Yucef was caressing the erected dick of the little coloured boy... His own was much bigger, and also much harder, and he was shaking it... I saw his hand move frantically then a splurting flow of whitish liquid spat out and covered Ali's legs... I ran away and finally, out of breath I let myself fall to the ground, under a huge Eucalyptus tree."
(Silence for two or three minutes... The the Doctor's voice:)
"And after that, little Jacqueline, what did you do?..."
"The nearby presence of that which had always been concealed by the little boys, and that I had finally discovered, was like a materialisation of my dreams. The dick of a boy... I could feel it, naked and odoriferous, coming close to my mouth... I would have loved to kiss, suck that pink glans that spat petals of white flowers... That taste that I did not know yet... I touched myself under the belly... My little slit, all wet... My finger slid within and I felt a little peak hardening... I rubbed it with the tip of my finger that I had just wetted with my own saliva... It was good... It was simultaneously burning me and giving me an exquisite feeling of coolness... But I was yearning for the hard flesh of Yucef... And also that of the little negro. His little tool remained sharp and erected... the tip covered with a sheath of skin, cleare in colour that the skin of his buttocks, and the little muslim boy did not have such a skin on his penis."
I wanted to go lock after these boys, to hold them in my arms, to taste the savory juices of their dicks... Then I rose in one jump. I was standing up, my panties around my claves, my stripe dress, blue and white, still wrinkled above my belly... I was still caressing myself... Then I threw myself against a tree and circled its stm with my bare thighs... The thorns were scratching me up to the lips of my cunt... I was panting, mute, moaning, opening my thighs wider in a gesture of complete offering... I was offering my slit to the thorns, and it started hurting... Pleasure mixed with pain... Yet it was still good, oh so good... I stuck my finger as deeply as I could, and when I removed it from my little ass, its tip was reddened with blood... Oh... I would have given anything to have Ycef's tool penetrating my belly in that fashion... It two would have been soiled with my own blood. And at the same time I was depicting myself sucking the little chocolate bar between Ali's legs, under his round belly, black as ebony.
Tired with pleasure I lifted my skirt higher and stopped masturbating... My slit was hurting me, and my legs were all scratched. When, after walking through the garden I found Ali and Yucef, they were innocently playing football with a half rotten pumpkin... I did not dare tell them that I had seen them masturbating, that I now knew how little boys looked, but that I would never dare to ask them to come in a secluded place to play with me.
But from then on, the picture never left my mind. I could see the column of flesh that could spit cream if you shook it long enough. And also the picture of the flesh retracting, returning to its smaller shape, after the liquid, J ignored then that it was sperm, had been thrown to the wind...
My belly, below, my cunt, my pussy, the slit of my buttocks... All these points were now giving me pleasure. Even when I was shitting, pushing specially hard for a long and hard cigar, as hard it seemed to me as the dick of the little arabian boy. Whatever girls are never allowed to display in public was itching me terribly. I think that this was the first time that I really fait all of the erogenous points of my childish body. The desire that was tormeting my heart, my mouth, my ass, to be taken, penetrated, and soiled with come, and all the dirty things I could do with boys.
I was imagining the terrible consequences that must follow such actions... But I was not afraid of them... My father doubtlessly must have had a huge tool, and I had never seen it... I was going to do anything to discover it... I would have liked to be my father's woman, have him performed forbidden things on my little pussy... I desired him with all my strength, and I was wondering, thinking about the boys, if it did not disturb them to have such a big thing between their legs... Aaah... The dick, the prick... the beautiful candle of my father...
(Muffled voice of the professor:)
"Talk to me about it... the phallus... the phallus..."
(Jacqueline D... Panting softly...)
"Aaah... The phallus, in my mouth... in my ass... any were, and every where... It has always existed in me even though I am physiologically deprived of it... But yet I had it, both real and imaginary, in the reduced form of my clitoris... Aaaah... My love of it is still hampered by the adoration of Yucef's dick... the arabian dick... Ooooh... Daddy, I will avenge you... And the balls, you balls, containing all the promises of orgasm, of being flooded with sperm, everywhere, in the vagina, the rectum... even the mouth, till the excessive quantities ingested would make me vomit... The nights when the breath of boys their brutal hands, the perfume of their asses, all these elements were making me go mad in my little lonely bed... These nights. I was thinking about my fathers dick... I could imagine it enormous between his thighs....Erected in the fur that I had been told was covering the bellies of all fathers..."
And it was true, and the evening of my holy communion...
(Then comes a long silence... You can hear another breath harde than that of the patient which tends to prove that the. doctor is no longer simply sitting behing the couch, where without any modesty his beautiful patient is now getting rid of a certain number of her inhibitions.)
(Voice of the doctor...)
"Holy communion... In what meaning? Carnal communion you mean?..."
"Yes... No... A mirage, but I was getting so close. Yes the night that followed my holy communion, I was the on y daughter, and there was a big fiesta at the estate. The banquet was lasting, and lasting, my father was dancinq with my mother, he was slightly drunk, and was kissing her on the nape of the neck. I was suffering, and I could not keep my eyes away from his pants. There, between his thighs, I could see the hump... My father was stiff with his desire of my mother... The bitch! I did not want to go to bed, the servants had nearly to use force to put me in my room. And the old Ai'cha stayed by my bedside till I feigned sleep... Then I masturbated till blood came... It was all the priest's fault. As it was the day of my holy communion, he had asked me all kind of questions, more and more personnal. more and more intimate about my sins... Later I understood that he too, the hypocritical bum, must have been masturbating while I was admitting the "erring of my flesh"... I understood that because at the end of the meal, later at home, he had patted my buttocks, not much but just enough to make me realize his desires...
In the middle of the night I got up again. Barefooted I walked along the hall to my parents bedroom. I stopped to breathe, for I could smell the scent of the dick, the sweat, and also of my ass, when I have not taken a shower for some time... It was probably all in my imagination.
Noises were also adding to my emotions. I could hear the squeaking of the bed. and all sorts of rattles, moans, and sighs, like a wounded dove... There was no doubt about it, the noises were coming from my parents room... I had to come closer, to smell better, hear better... and perhaps even to see...
I was once again so excited that I was walking with little steps, my hand between my already dampening thighs... The pleasure that I had taken, alone, in my bed, had not appeased me. on the contrary... Why was it that I had not asked Yucef to get himself a ladder and come to meet me in my room?... The night of my holy communion would also have been the first night of love for me... To real love, the love of adults as I was now craving to know it. the love that my mother, the servants, all women knew...
I knew that to the virgin that I still was. some mysteries were about to be unveiled. A maddened desire to know all the gestures of the wonderful embrace subjugated all my fears of being caught at the indiscreet action of watching my parents copulate... I knew that the whole household had not yet gone to bed, for on the lawn there were still streaks of light coming from the windows of the dining and sitting rooms...
I put my ear against the thin wood panel of the door separating me from heaven... I was toying with the crazy idea that I might be admitted to partake in what was happening on the other side. The voice of my mother was quite different from that which I heard everyday thickened with emotions, burning with a passion similar in violence to the wind coming from the desert and rushing throughs the canyon of El Kantara...
"Oh Georges... How stiff you are... No... Not right away... feel my cunt, how wet it is for you... Do it to me..', please... do it to me... French me...
French?... I did not know yet what that meant... But I was to learn more as the action developped...
"O... yes darling... just like that... your tongue on my little button... Put your finger in my ass-hole at the same time... Oh, pig... Dirty pig... You suck beautifully... Lower now, at the gate... Oooh... I am coming, I can feel the juices... You don't mind darling if it runs in your mouth?... You will swallow everything won't you?... Oh. it had been such a long time since you had last loved me the way you do tonight. It will be so good after that to make love deeply, all the way... To feel your big fat dick get in my cunt, it is only wet for you. you know it don't you?... Aaaah... Gooodd... Yes... Suck, Love, Suck... I am coming, I come... I Come...
At the last cry of my mother. I nearly fainted, for I was caressin myself while listening and my pleasure was awakened at the same time as my mother's... She made no bones about expressing herself in terms that I would have never suspected she even knew...
I thought that my heart was going to stop... So that was the supreme happiness, the goal of all the dreams of a little girl of eleven, masturbating in front of her parent's door... I could hardly keep myself from entering the room... The sighs of my mother, the obscenities of my father were tumbling in my head like a twister... Blood was hammering at my dampened temples... And damp also was my belly, and the little hill below wher a soft down as beginning to grow... My buttocks were sticking together, a sirupy liquor was oozing from each one of my holes...
I remember then that I opened my legs... A burning liquid was running down my thighs. I put my Angers there, and then held them to my lips... It was strange and atrocious, salty and bland at the same time... The smell of blood...
Oh, yes... atrocious... I was having my first curse juste while my bitch of a mother was hollering at the top of her lungs her satisfaction... She too. must have been half drunk with luxury to lose control of herself to that point... I wanted to kill her... To take her place in the bed, in my father's arms... But I had to SEE... No matter what the cost would be, I had to be a witness... That obsessed me even more than the pursuit of my own pleasure.
The moon was lighting the hallway, and I saw, as I placed it between my thighs that my long white nightgown was getting red... But I did not worry about that, for I knew that just as all women, I would then be my lot to be soiled monthly by that natural occurrence.
(Silence for a moment..then...)
No... I cannot anymore... I want to make love... I want to kill... to hurt... I am thirsty...
(Voice of Dr. Alcan:)
Relax, Madam, breathe deeply... Now inhale six times, and exhale ten... One, two, three, four...
(For a moment nothing is heard on the tape but the breathing of the patient, then again the voice of Dr. Alcan, more calm than before:)
Now I am disappearing again, you are again alone in your past... Speak as if you were alone, without any audience but your mental double...
Yes... I can see my trembling hand on the door knob. I turned it slowly, without any noise... The door was not bolted from inside. My parents were probably too impatient to resume their dirty activities, excited by the spicy foods served at the banquet... The room was fully lit, ceiling light, beside lamps, everything on the devastated bed. My father and mother were living the last moments of posession... My father between the spreaded thighs of my mother, was giving the ultimate trust with his loins. He accompanied his movement by a holler of joy, while my mother, whose face was perfectly visible from where I stood, snapped, with a completely inhuman cry... I still have a very vivid recollection of the moment, it has not been altrerd by the time that passed... Oh I am thirsty...
(For a moment on the tape, noises of steps, bubbling liquids... The squeaking of the couch and the rustling of the material of a gown... Then her voice again:)
Thank you doctor...
There is no doctor here... Jacqueline you are in the past... Resume your awakened dream where you left it... You have just entered your parents room... The house near Constantine... And you are jealous of your mother to the point that you could, you would like to kill her, just because you have soon her making love with your father... You ave never dared to admit to yourself, far less to him, the carnal nature of the interest you have for him.
(Violent interruption of Jacqueline D...)
"Yes I love daddy! But he is dead, he is dead! The rebels, the terrorists, the Bastards. My mother is dead too, murdered the same night. God punished her!... But before croaking she still came, the bitch! she came when the bastard reped her... and in front of me even. (One can hear the panting sound of her voice, then somebody moves in the room... as if there was a struggle, then the voice of Professor Alcan. soothing...)"
"Now, now, quiet own. quiet... Yours oul not put yourself in such as ate, I am going to be obliged to call my assistant and give you an injection... Wake up now, the past is dead, the session is over, at least for today... Have a drink, please put your dress straight."
(Another silence on the tape, rather short... then the patient:)
"Excuse me doctor, but you had me absolutely placed in a trance..."
"It is my profession, and I must add that you are an exceptionnal subject... Trust me and you will recover all of your mental balance."
III
April 16. 1960.
I have to return to Doctor's Alcan the day after tomorrow, according to my notebook, for another session of awake-dreaming. That is the name he gives to the treatment supposed to restore my equilibrium. That strange man strongly advise me to keep, at last for the duration of the treatmen a sort of intimate journal. "It will facilitate your introspection-said he-and I woul appreciate your letting me read what you will confide to this sort of diary."
I answered him with a smile that I did not think that I had any vocation as far as writing was concerned... But that if he really thought that such a school work would help, I was willing to try.
"Always write exactly what comes to your mind, a sort of automatic writing, do not try to attempt a litterary masterpiece... And most of all do not try to improve on what you remember."
I was still under the emotionnal stress of the session in the semi-darkness of his cabinet ad I could not manage to remember all that I had to tell him while lying on the couch. I wonder if he had not hypnotized me to make me lose to that extent even the knowledge of where I was. I can still remember that my head was resting on a pretty hard pillow.
When I got out of his place I moved my car, trying to avoid another ticket and later went to the "Cafe de Flore" where I had a date with Henry. Henry is sort of a congenial fellow with whom I occasionally sleep. He was not alone, he introduced me to a girl, quite attractive large fawn-like eyes, and; apple shaped bressts, insolently pointing and attracting my eyes as a magnet would iron.
I had to cut the presentations short for I was dying to pee... When I reach the John, I realized! that my panties were soaking wet... No surprise after the excitement of my little seance at Alcan's... and yet the man had not touched me. All the more reasons for me to do it by myself... I stepped out of my panties and rolled them into my purse. Then I pissed with unmitigated pleasure, increased when I dryed myself with one of those soft tissues kerchieves that I always carry with me. The mere action to touch the junction of my sex, were the little button always lies eagerly waiting for my finger, had me flushed. Just the time to wet the fingertip at the rim of my cunt and I started to masturbate, standing up, one leg on the seat. It was not very practical but I had no other choice, the space was too little for mc to crouch. But the door was agremented of a mirror, full length. I could watch the movement of my hand and the dark duff of my sex all the way down to the mysterious valley between my long things. I love to caress myself in fornt of a mirror and I soon came. A little piece of pleasure, quick and almost stolen, temporary panacea to a demanding desire. When it was all over I touched my make up briefly, and returned to the table where Henry and the girl were waiting. I must admit that I was disappointed to see Henry with that girl for I had expected to have him take me to a little hotel of that district to be properly screwed. It was a rather sordid little hotel, where the rooms always keep a mixed aroma of cold tobacco and cheap soap, and the more musked scent of the sperm of the negross. usual customers of the place.
I am always excited by that sordid atmosphere, much more than the high price appartment of Avenue Paul-Doumer. And besides another attraction is frequently offered, that of hearing other couples fucking in the adjacent rooms... and of that too I am fond.
Well, too bad. I was decided to be fair play. I offered the two of them to go and get som thing to eat in a little restaurant of the rue des FrancBourgeois where the food is good and the candles lend a romantic atmosphere to the place.
"And afterwards? asked Henry, kicking me under the table, and glancing towards the girl. She looked about seventeen, and madly in love with him..."
"Afterwards? well we will go wherever you want to... (I was really ready to be agreable.) And I added staring at the girl straight in her eyes, of course it must be agreable to you too. Miss?..."
"Oh I am sorry, the name is Colette."
"No I must have missed your name when I came in... I had a friend, a very intimate friend name Colette... always staring at her. She ad no ways of ignoring what I had in mind, to make sure I slowly slid he tip of my tongue from one end of my lips to the other... Henry, in a wink, led me to understand that the girl would not be too opposed to a little threesome, his (so little) hidden vice."
From then on I lost track of the drinks... After my session with the Professor I was in dire need to forget and change my mind... From the "Flore" to the restaurant, and then to Henry's studio... Anyway when we got there and she slumped on his sofa. Colette was totally plastered. Henry wanted to undress her immediately, but I refused:
"I paid for the evening, and consequently I give the instructions. Love. I want you to excite that female till she goes crazy... about as crazy as I am..."
"Can't you see that she is too croaked?... She just won't feel anything..."
"Then let me do it..."
I was myself quite drunk but very horny... I like that kid She was not wearing a bra. I slipped by her side and let my hand roam under her sweater. Her little nipples were not un esponsive to my attentions... I unhooked her skirt, unzipped her, and bared her belly rolling her pants down. Her sex was hardly covered by a little blond fluff...
"Open her thighs and suck her awake..."
The girl was still half unconscious, dressed only in her garter-belt, her stockings and flat shoes.
Henry knelt between her thighs, then he loaned towards the exposed cunt... He rose instantly, screaming:
"But the pig stinks! You don't expect, just because you picked up the tab. me to eat her ass up just to please you. As far as eating you. even corn hole you, no problem, but I find no attraction in sucking that bitch whose only contact wit a bath is at least a week old..."
"Some men like it..."
"Bully for them... I might be vicious but to a limit, besides the pig does not inspire me... proof positive: I am not even hard. He unzipped is pants and got his artillery out... It hung softly, slightly bulging but looking rather disguster."
I had to laugh, partly because of the irony of the situation, but also partly to hide my disappointment, for. if Henry was not excited by the girl, he was left just as cold by my presence. That was about as humiliating an insult as I had ever received My laughter froze and suddenly mad I hollered at him:
"Fake! It really was not necessary to bring us here just to fall flat before we even enjoy that stupid bitch... No, but look at her... half asleep."
"It is your fault, you had to get her stinking drunk, and I would not be surprised if she suddenly started puking all over the place... As to my capacity to screw, just you wait a second but first help me carry Colette in the bathroom..."
I had a strange, a warped idea...
"Yeah... Lets give her a bath it is our best bet... It surely won't hurt that ass."
A few minutes later we gently laid the girl in the bathtub and I opened the cold water faucet full blast... She got it straigth on her bally and immediately regain her senses. She tried to get up, but I maintained her stuck to the bottom of the tub... The water was rising quickly and to have her shut up I put her head under...
"You are getting insane, said Henry, you are not going to drown the idiot to wake her up?..."
The more I think about it now, the more I believe that I might have killed the ass. had he not stopped me when he did. Completely sober now. I was realizing what had almost happened. I started crying anc ran in the other room. I could hear Henry taking the girl out of her predicament and telling hert at it all was part of a joke I had wanted to play on her. They both came in later. Henry was still helping Colette to stand up, naked but still half out. She was dry but still shavering and her eyes reflected the terror of these last few minutes.
"Now, now, Henry was saying, it is all over, you can just go to sleep and relax... The girl pushed me away when I tried to get close to her... Come now, Jacqueline does not want to hurt you, on the contrary..."
Half an hour latter, the incident was all but forgotten... Colette, completely over her hangover, and the cold bath subsequent, was lying on the bed between two entirely naked people. The bed was supposedly built for two, but we formed a sandwich now. The girl was between Henry and myself... I was masturbating her while Henry fucked her from behind. Her cute hoods were flattened against mine, and I could feel against my belly the undulations of her own body, coming and going, following the movements of the prick of Henry pistonning her. My hand roving between her legs was also caressing Henry, when his dick, glistening and wet, withdrew from her cunt only to plunge again: and again and again. I was a wet as she was, expecting my share of the festivities. I was watching the behaviour of Henry... I had no intention of letting him come in Colette's cunt. I reserved myself the pleasure of getting his juice. His orgasm was coming and I grabbed his dick to stuff it in my own little paradise...
"Now it is my turn, I told Colette, moving away from her. I went on all fours between the girl's legs... I opened her legs wide, and her cunt yawned, still full of goo and her own juices... Colette was opposing no resistance, but she was moaning... Henry. Henry... fuck me again I did not come... Henri..."
Henry meanwhile was aiming at my asshole, well exposed as I opened my legs... He positionned himself and had no problems at all getting into my ass... lust as he began penetrating me. I leaned forwards and started sucking the cunt of the girl. A sudden lesbo desire in spite of my usually contentionnal attitude. Yet now I had her little clitoris well uncovered and I kept snailing my tongue in and out of her little shell, my thumb in her vagina while my forefinger, like Henry's dick, was massaging her asshole. I was acting as the most vicious butch and getting almost as excited as the girl under me... I aspired. I sucked, I licked... I had the desire to bite and all the time I could feel the hot penis hammering at my ass. the hairy balls against my buttocks. My pleasure was multiple and varied... Henry was caressing my cunt with his hand slid under my belly, rubbing my clitoris and drilling with two fingers in the damp depths of my vagina."
The seventeen years old girl was not used to pleasure yet... She was slow to come... She was crispated, bending her body in all directions, holding my hair tight with both hands, panting, crying of joy, and moaning everytime that my finger entered her ass... The flesh was forming as a tight ring around my exploring fingers... I wanted her to come in my mouth. Trying to catch my breath, my cheeks covered with her fluids, I said: Come now darling, come under my tongue... I want you to come just as I am bout to come myself while I suck you... Then with a sudden regain of my erotic passion I glued my mouth again to the dripping lips, to that mouth vaguely scented of pee, sperm and sweat... Behind me. Henr\ was holding my thighs, he was panting at each thrusl of his perforating tool, ending it as far as he could in my ass... Then, he feel on my back while he came... It felt like a hot enema, hot liquid filling my belly. It was like molten lava, reaching every inch of my being, my belly, my legs, my ass, tay cunt, all the way to my nipples, so erected that they were hurting. The girl came at the same moment, her sex opened wider as if to let loose the liquid that was now dripping in my mouth...
When our trio dissolved and we went to the bathroom to take a well deserved collective bath, I noticed that the sheets on the bed had been abominably soiled... The girl had been so drunk and after my little finger games with her, I could not real blame her for letting herself go. April 17.
I returned Avenue Paul-Doumer around one o'clock in the morning. My husband was not in bed. He was waiting for me.
"I was wandering what had happenned to you. just look at the clock."
"I stayed with a friend who had asked me over for dinner..."
"You could ave called me..."
Just a little reproach, void of a y bitterness... John was still in a good mood. He drew me to his lap. and put his hands under my skirt:
"You are no wearing pants?..."
"I took them off before reaching home darling. you can imagine why... So saying I sat across his knees, petting his little snake bare under his pajamas. He got herd immediately."
"You already smell of love, was is whisper while he kissed rap .."
"Yes, "already"... Do you want me right away?..."
"Yes... In front of the mirror..." "But you arc getting vicious my love..." I just could not help saying it... My husband usually loves me only in the most conventional manner, in bed... with all the lights off. I wondered what girl, or what show could have inspired in the evening to give him such ideas... Lome...
I went with him in the bedroom and he disposed a chair in front of the big mirror of my vanity. Then he sat, and took hold of me from behind. His prick erect, he lifted my skirt above my loins...
"From behind... he whispered as if ashamed of his proposition..."
I obeyed and offered him my back. I always thought that he was not paying enough attention to that most desirable part of my anatomy. I felt his hand parting the lips of my sex, and then the head of his penis slowly entereing me... I watched in the mirror his tool progressing within me. I slowly let myself go down, impaled... John was watching in the mirror too. his hands under my arms had reached my breasts... His eyes were shining with a lubricity exceptional for him. I added to his pleasure masturbating while he was screwing me... Thank God! He came very fast and would have certainly left me dry if I had not taken care of my own pleasure. April 19.
John went away again. Business. I am going to be alone for at least a week. So far so good I have not told him of my visit at Professor Alcan's office. I make a note of something that might be of value. The other night while John fucked me, and I watched in the mirror I did not feel like strangling him. And I did enjoy it very much, in spite of the tumultuous evening that had just preceded. Still I feel guilty for having satiated myself with his sex as if I had been a hysteric ghoul. I will have to tell the analyst about that too I mused that I could ask him to examine me, as a real doctor would when you go see him for a bellyache. Just in case I am going to wear the most provocative lingerie, a real corset for whore... One never knows.
(Extract from the magnetic tape recorded by Professor Alcan during the second visit of his client Mrs. Jacqueline D.... April 19. 1960.)
(Voice of the analyst:)
"...It is alright, perfect... You are relaxed... Now please, try to remember the night wyen you saw your parents in their room... They were making love... They were making love without you?... Wheren't they Jacqueline?..."
(Jacqueline D...:)
"Yes... I saw my father, naked, lying on my mother's belly... He had just come in her... I wanted to run. but my legs could not carry me... I just remained frozen on the spot, my hand caressing my burning cunt... My parents were motionless, my mother's face ectstatic... Suddenly she must have felt a presence in the room... Without realizing it I had crossed the doorstep and I was now only a few feet from the bed. Her eyes were circled with dark they widened in surprise when she saw me... When I expected to be ordered out she merely placed a finger on her lips, still swollen from the kisses received from my father... It was an abominable moment... My mother was fixedly staring at me, her eyes riveted to my exposed belly... While masturbating I had lifted my nightie up to my budding breasts... And then she smiled... She had just come under my daddy's dick... I was jealous... horribly... I backed out and returned to the corridor, but I left the door slightly ajar in order to be able to see what was happening in the room... My mother did not get up to lock the door and place herself away from my inquisitive looks... She knew that I was remaining there, trembling behind the door, blood pounding furiously at my temples and between my legs. First I thought of getting the shotgune and killing her on the spot. My father rolled away from my mother's nakedness... He looked half asleep. I could only see the bulging muscles of his parted legs, his flat belly with its hairy coverage. His penis asleep along one of his thighs.
A drop of sperm still hanging from the tip. My mother was still looking in my directions, knowing quite well that I was not missing a single move she was making. She held her legs open and offered me a full view of her cunt. I found it revolting, hairy and thick. The slit was still yawning, unveiling the pink flesh within. Between those lips, that I found horrid, oozed a viscous mixture of her juices and my father's sperm. Then my mother caressed her little button the way I had done myself. I even think that while doing it she was casting an occasionnal glance in the direction of the open door... The bitch! She really wanted to make me suffer... And she succeeded admirably by sliding herself against the body of my father... Her head came to rest on her male's belly... She took his prick, amorously rolled it between thumb and' forefinger then lavished it with kisses, little licks with the tip of her tongue, and finally swallowed it whole in her mouth. She started pumping at him like a ghoul...
My father opened his eyes, looked down and smiled... His hand caressed my mother's hair and I could hear him whisper: "Yes. yes. darling, suck me. pump me good, you can feel it getting hard for you a ain..." She stopped to abuse him with her mouth for awhile and asked.
"You love it?... You know I love it too... I like to feel your big prick reach for my throat, the taste of your sperm and the smell of my ass still lingering on..."
I could see my father's dick becoming enormous again... Proud, erect, surging over the bush of hair, and between the legs the big balls full with a sap that I was never to know, a juice for which I was abominably thirsty... "Wait darling. I too want to suck you, that good cunt the pleases me so much..." And my parents changed position, the head of my father came to be emprisonned between my mother's thighs... And she came again while sucking at my father's dick. He said again: "Wait darling, I don't want to come in your mouth, but fuck you but good..."
"Yes my love, fuck me, again quick... I am dying to feel that big monster of yours in my belly..."
Then my father straddled her and waited a second. His dong was hanging like a heavy fruit swinging along her slit, rubbing her hair, and the slit of her buttocks, then her thighs, one after the other. Below his balls were following the movement of the buttocks. I followed them as hypnotized... I could see the dark hole of her anus staring at me like a reproachful eye, agered at my indiscretion. My father was unsuspectful, while my mother knew that I was witnessing as if crucified, all their evolutions. She must have found some perverted excitement to give herself in front of her daughter the very day of her child's holy communion... And to think that the very same morning she had also participated to the holy mass.
"Darling, please, don't keep me waiting anymore... Please bugger me. fuck me all... Then I saw her hand grab the congested tool of my father and thrust it into her vagina, but my father withdrew and instead rubbed it against her visible clitoris... she was moaning with impatience and finally he returned to her slit and penetrated her entirely. I could follow the glistening pillar of flesh pistoning in and out of her lubricated cunt. My mother was hollering her joy an[| she knew that I saw and heard everything."
"Harder darling, harder and deeper... I feel it, oh how I feel it... I hone it is as good for you as it is for me... Ooooh... I am going to come again..."
"Yes come now... and we will come together... Now... Take it alll... Aaaah."
It all became blurred in front of my eyes as I saw the climax approaching, all sounds suddenly became amplified, and I lost consciousness...
A silence on the tape, then the voice of the analyst:
"And when you regained consciousness, little Jacqueline, where were you?... What happened?"
"I found myself in my bed. The old servant Ai'cha was by my side. It was full daylight... my mother came in my room and tried to come close to me... I hollered when I saw her... I wanted to have absolutely nothing to do with her... I hid under the blankets... She walked out of the room and soon after the doctor came. He quieted me down and then walked out I could hear their voices muffled out as he talked to my mother... He came back and ques tionned me, but I did not tell him anything of the events of the night. He gave me some medicine and I fell asleep. I should have never have awakened... I should be dead now... but fate decided otherwise. First I refused to leave my room for two full days. I refused to see anybody, excepted the good Aicha. I was half asleep in the midst of nightmarish visions which left me breathless and panting... I saw naked boys, their penis erected, running after me. Youssef. the little negro was always sliding his head between my legs to eat my sex... When Aicha was absent. I masturbated till blood came... The doctor came back and finally decided me to come down and resume a normal life. Normal, that was impossible to the girl that I had become a few days before. I got dressed. I was ready to see my parents when the tragedy struck the domain. The killing...*"
I never say my father alive again. I never found out whether or not he knew of the behavior of my mother, and whether or not he would have been ashamed to find imself in front of me again.
(Voice of Professor Alcan:)
"Do you feel up to telling me the circumstances of your father's death?" (Jacqueline D...:)
"No Doctor... I am dead tired... And I wish more than anything else to forget this atrocious evening."
(Voice of Professor Alcan:)
"Yet to deliver yourself of all the obsessions disturbing you, you must tell me... All. everything that mattered and later influenced your hehaviour... Your rape."
(Jacqueline:)
"Yes, I was raped, I can see the situation, but I do not want to see it, or remember it, not now, never..."
(Voice of the analyst, imperious:) "But you must. I will help you... A simple injection and you will talk without even realizing it..."
(Again tape of Professor Alcan. Jacqueline has received an injection of some liquid, probably Penthotal. and she is now speaking without knowledge of what she says.)
"Who raped you?..."
"An arab..."
"Was he alone?..."
"No, others were holding my legs spread apart. I was lying on the dining room table. First I witnessed the attack on the farm. The brown men su denly irrupted in the courtyard. I was still on the upper floor with the old Aicha... Some bastards shot downstairs... I heard the cries... Two bastards came in my room... They cut Ai'chas throat righ in front of me... Then they took me downstairs. I say my father's corpse, in the entrance hall. He had his throat slit too... I could hear my mother holler in the other room. Then they tied me on a chair after having torn my dress and my pants off of me. My mother was struggling on the sofa, she was half naked. It took three men to maintain her almost motionless. Then one of our ex-servants unbuttonned his pants and exposed his sex... The others did the same thing. They were all laughing while they lifted my mothers legs up. I could see her dark slit and the hair. He raped her while another rebel, younger, was taking care of me. He was caressing my budding breats and rubbing his fingers against my cunt. When the servant had taken his pleasure in my mother's belly, another took his turn. It is then that her cries changed in pitch and also in meaning. She was half dead with fright, but she could not help enjoying a certain horrible pleasure. When a third man raped her she was really crying of joy. Others followed... But she finally lost consciousness... What followed was really horrible they dragged my father's corpse, took his pants off and cut his penis and his testicles. Then they stuffed it in his mouth. Then they brought the young Youssef, and while he hollered they took his pants off, buggered him, and finally slit his throat... They did the same thing to my mother."
Then those devils took care of me. They untied me, and laid me spreadeagle on the table. The man who bent over me rubbed his sex for awhile on my cunt, then there was pain when he penetrated me in one vigorous thrust... I felt his sperm flooding me and the pain subsided. I was not hurting anymore, I even think that the feeling was becoming pleasant a little bit like when I touched myself with my fingers.
The man withdrew and rubbed his dick against my face while saying obscenities on arabic... Another one was getting ready to rape me when I heard the forst detonations. There was the rumble of an engine, and the long succession of machine-gun fire... I landed.
When I woke up, I was stretcher in an ambulance of the army. Foreign legionnaires where closing the door. The counter attack was over. There were many corpses in the yard but it had not prevented the massacre of all my family as well as that of those servants who chose to defend us. I could not get rid of the atrocious vision of my mutilated father. But I felt no so row when thinking of my mother being raped and then murdered. I could only see the way she was looking at me when my father was making love to her. I think I fainted again. A male nurse was holding my hand and trying to calm me... I think I heard bells an I thought that my head was about to explode. I was completely insane for more than a week. My father's sister came everyday at the Constantine City hospital where I had been admitted. Then I went to live with her in her little appartment above the store they had, her husband and herself, near the Place de la Breche. My aunt had three children; I was again geeting used to live with a family. Odette was very kind to me.
"Who was Odette?..."
"My cousin... A pretty girl. I began to have a crush on her. We were sleeping together and she sometimes shylly caressed me in the dark. But I knew more than she didi about what men and women do together in bed. I taught her pleasure. We also used to play with her brother Claude. Claude was hardly ten. I perverted him. I always used to caress his little sex. sliding my hand under his short pants. He could already get an erection. One day I took him in the storeroom of my aunt's place. I opened his fly and bared him. Red with confusion he let me suck his young dick. I received in my mouth the first drops he ever produced. The horror of the events of the massacre at the farm of El Sibiar were getting dimmer... but the souvenir of the rape of my mother, and my own were enough to trouble me sexually. When I was masturbating, pleasure would come faster when I fancied tearing with my teeth the dick of Claude, or cutting it... Now that I think of these images I can feel a need... My belly is afire... It is coming again... Quick, I want a prick, a big fat prick in my belly, in my ass... I am going to masturbate, I cannot help it, ahh... my little darling bump... You are coming Nooow..."
(The tape only records sighs, increasingly rapid breathing then:)
"Ooooh... It's good... Your big prick, in me... Those nice round balls, banging between my legs... Ooooh... Bastard, murderer, beat me, fuck me... Give me all your juice... I am going to strangle you..."
(One can ear the spring mattress squeaking at the pace of the union... It stops, then:)
"Oh, Doctor, how good it was with you..."
The professor listened to the tape, then rewound it. and spliced out the last answer and threw it in his watebasket. Then he filed the tape in his archives.
V
April 20.
What strange man that Professor Alcan is... I do not know yet whether to congratulate myself or feel worried for having followed the advice of my friend Sylvia. (By only mentionning her first name I am not betraying the anonymity that I promised to observe about her.) After the second session, the day before yesterday, I came out of his office entirely relaxed. Exactly as if I had made love to the most complete point of satisfaction. After the shot he gave me in the arm, I lost all consciousness, and I have no idea of what may have happenned. But at night, when I went to the bathroom before going to bed. I noticed that my panties were bearing some strange spots. It was not the kind of deposit that would be founs after a day's wear. But closer to the elastic waist-band, two pots, as is starched...
Why not call it by its name... That was sperm. Did Alcan take advantage of the coma in which the drug he gave me had me placed?... I really have no idea... One thing is certain, without these famous spots. I would have never suspected anything. Besides I cannot honestly use the word take advantage... I would have agreed quite willingly to being screwed by the Professor, the best proof is that I had put on my most provocative underwear. That kind off suggestive deshabille is almost certain to increase both his pleasure and his impatience to make love, in the raw, with me, whic will certainly happen soon now. When I wake up in his office, on the couch, after the session, the Professor was sitting at his desk. He was reading, I do not know what for he closed his book as soon as he saw me waking up. I could feel that I was wet between the legs just as I was after the first session, and yet I do know that he had not touched me the first time. But the day before yesterday?... If Alcan posessed me while I was unconscious, I will never forgive him... Or perhpas... I must admit that I like the man... His shaven head, his clear eyes are one thing, but the little bump at the fly of his pants let me to think that there could be more than purely academic satisfaction in engaging in commerce with the man. I know that I probably sound like the most vicious female with my habit of detailing the most intimate parts of people I would like to have as my partners. Most of the "honnest women" I know however have exactly the same thoughts as I do if not even worse.
April 21.
One thing is certain, hardly a day passes without bringing for me some kind of adventure. Wc could call these gallant, to remain proper. This morning I have received a cable from a young boy, madly in love with me, he is the brother of my friend Sylvia. * He is eighteen handsome as a god. The nut is writing from a hospital bed. in a clinic in Neuilly where he was admitted after a ridiculous accident on his scooter. One broken arm, one shoulder out of joint and a few isplaced ribs. He said that he would like to see me. and that he would probably have to stay in the hospital for about a week. His shape was pretty good but they kept him under observation because of a blow on the head. I only slept with him once, and even, I cannot call that sleep... He screwed me on a sofa, without even taking my clothes off, tearing my pants and one stoking in the adventure, so great was his impatience... But I still keep a great souvenir of that moment, for he had masturbated me so completely that I came at the first shuttles of his wonderful tool. He had to come in his handkerchief, because as I had no ways of washing myself. I had asked him to " be careful"... I had in mind to suck him off to finish the affair, but he did not give me enough time...
After lunch I packed in my car, even though he does not need any hing, a carton of cigarettes, some detective and espionage stories, and a box of chocolates. I was ushered by a cute little nurse in a clear and cool room where Francis was lying. He was in a cast, his arm maintained at an odd angle from his body. He also wore a huge gauze band on his fore head. His eyes widened and turned brighter at the pleasure of seeing me. As soon as the nurse had left I kissed him full on the mouth while he sent his valid arm in a series of explorations around my waist and in the opening of my blouse towards my breasts.
"Now. now... be good. Sit down and tell me what happenned..."
While he started telling me of his accident I could not resist the perverted desire to caress him under the sheets. I casually slipped my and under the cover, up to his balls and finally taking a full hold on his penis. He had not expected for me to start my investigations to get an erection. His penis was hard as rock and the head almost as wet as my own cunt. He tried to prop himself up in order to kiss me again, but with a grimace of pain, he had to let himself back on the pillows. He still extended his good arm between my legs, and I came closer so that he could give some satisfactions to my little button.
"I am dying to screw you. little Jacqueline, but with that damned cast, I cannot do a good job.'"
"Even without the cast, it would not be carreful... People could come in..."
"Go close the door..."
"There is no inside bolt, darling, what good would it do us (and yet I did not stop caressing him at any time.) I could feel the blood pulsating in is little pillar of flesh, and I too was dying to receive it in my excited little grotto. Instinctively my belly was girating at the rhytm of an imaginary posession and when I came. I tightened my thighs around the fingers that had made me come so nicely."
Suddenly francis pantingly be ged of me:
"Stop... Stop now. you are going to make me come all over my pajamas and my sheets..."
As I was pulling a tissue out of my purse for the use that one could easily guess, he just said stoically:
"No. no. darling... it would be a waste... I do not want to take my pleasure alone..."
"But you just made me come with your lingers... Can't you feel how wet I am... I am almost certain to mark my dress..."
I was fantastically excited, and I too was cursing the damned cast, sole obstacle to our embrace, no matter how short.
"Now. come on Francis, you are going to make me come again if you don't stop masturbating me like that..."
I could feel myself ready for the most careless abandon. An odd idea came to my mind.
"Did your sister Sylvia come to see you this morning?"
"Yes. earlier, she is supposed to come back later this afternoon..."
I took a quick look at my wristwatch, gift from my husband. Ten past three... Then another glance towards the window panes of the door. Polished glass... I kept thinking that in that private clinic the time of visit was not subject to reglementation... I really felt afire all over, in my vagina, the tips of my breasts were aching painfully, pressed and constricted by the lace and materials of my bar. Tough... I was too far go ne, I was as wet and lubricated, and ready to come las if Francis's tongue had prepared me for love.
"Move your hand darling, and let me do-Do not move at all. you would hurt yourself Francis now understoos, he whispered in a voice made heavy with unsatisfied desire:
"You are going to come on top of me... You are going to rape me... I will not make a move, oh god. it's going to be good..."
I pulled the sheets down, and untied the cordon of his pajamas. The nice dart was perfectly vertical and throbbing. I had to kiss it. a few lickings took care of the last thoughts the patient mught have had about his accident. Again, Francis begged:
"Stop sucking me..."
"Why you don't like it?..."
Of course Jacqueline darling, of course I live it, but I want to come in you. in your cunt, in your ass. in your adorable belly... come with you...
Then I lifted my skirt up to my waist, and rolled my panties down, threw them in my purse, I then straddled the patient on the bed.
"Come up to my face-said Francis-first I want to see your cunt, feel your wetness, see your button..."
I obeyed, progressing on my kness till my sex came to glue itself on Francis's mouth. As he only had one free hand I parted my lips myself so that he could see my clitoris and suck it more freely as he had requested. He titillated it with a tongue far more expert than I had expected. I was being very careful not to let my weight rest on the cast, even as he was the position must have been painful... I quickly returned towards the free portion of his anatomy. His prock was a perfect phallic representation, thrusted out and upwards from a gilded bush. I took it myself and placed it between my lips, then I let myself slowly come down, litterally im aled by that eighteen year old dick, hot and alive in me. I began to move. Very slowly an very gently, so as not to hurt him. Then to increase my pleasure-for the risk of being caught was to great to try to make it a long interlude-I began titillating my own sew with my fingertips while my buttocks were bobbing up and down. In spite of the pain that crispated his featires, he was not about to miss a single second of the performance both of his dick coming and going, and of my finger rubbing the erected little crest of flesh. Put his pleasure was more important than his pain. He extended his valid arm to be able to caress my asshole while he was fucking me. and suddenly he let out a loud cry. So loud in fact that I feared that a nurse could have overheard and come in. I felt the wonderful spurts of sperm in my sex, abundont and warm... His head fell back, on the pillow, pale and tired. At the same time, and without premonition I came violently, almost blacking out for a minute... I had the feeling that the whole world was crumbling around me... I could then have really hurt him. I suddenly heard footsteps in the corridor and I had just enough time to button myself up and pull the sheets and blanket back over the wounded man... I tried to look decent when someone knocked at the door. I must admit it was quite a task with the sperm slowly trickling own my legs...
"Excuse me said he nurse, but it is time for his shot..."
"Please do, said I, must I go out?..."
"No Jacqueline, stay, then to the nurse, just a minute please..."
"As you wish sir, said the nurse with a strange smile..."
I am still laughing when I think of what Francis then told me: "You realize what I would have looked like with my prick still half erect and my fleece still wet?..." The nurse would have immediately guessed that we had been making love... "From time to time that kid has some returns to decency, but always too late!"
April 22.
Just spent an excellent night. No nightmares or erotic dreams. Yet when I woke up this morning the mere remembrance of my adventures with Francis was so strong that I could not resist the pleasure of caressing myself. It took me quite a long time to come and it was not too violent, but good anyway. I also though about Professor Alcan. My personnal diaries seem to interest him quite a lot. He keeps insisting that I try and remember every little instance in my young years. And he wants me to do this while I am fully conscious. If I can muster enough energy I will try to do it tomorrow. He pretends that I will be able to bring -back enough happy souvenirs from the period preceding the tragedy at El Sibiar. He also thinks that these will get the best of my problems and help me to live again a normal life. I must admit that even after the second session my obsession with El Sibiar is not as strong. When I came with Francis yesterday I did not wish to strangle him... Perhaps one can see a sign of improvement in that. I really do wish so. The male has always horrified me. and yet I could never live without it. If I believed in metempsychosis I could very easily have been a praying mantis in another life. It must really be quite a kick to be able to slaughter and devour the male that has just succeede in making you come...
* * *
This afternoon I went to the movies, alone. I saw a strange movie. A rare violence. Called the abyss, one will hear quite a lot about it. The man sitting next to me made the most classical pass at me in the world. First a quiet rubbing of the kneex... then his hand on my thigh, and trying to hold mine. I pushed the exploring hand away... The man remained quiet for a little while. Then I at acked again. I slowly trailed along his thigh and let my hand reach for his fly. I could feel his prick hard as steel under the material of his pants. I masturbated him till he came... When he tried to put his hand under my skirt, I moved to another rew. Poor guy! He must still be puzzled. It must not happen too often to be tickled and then rejected by the same unknown female in the darkness of atheater.
When I walked out of the theater I wen to the "Cafe de Flore" just to see. Henri was there discussing of a new title wich a very well known author... I ended the evening with Henri in a sordid little hotel of the quarter. Another couple was similarly occupied in the next room. I stuck my ear to the wall, one could hear everything...
The girl was panting... The man was vociferating obscen ties to her... It went on and on the be springs were squeaking... I was terribly excited even though I had already come twice. I had to suck Henry to make him "available" again. Then he understood what I wanted just by the way I positionned myself on" all foors on the bedsheets. He cornholed me till I had to ask for mercy. It is fantastic how much I like to be buggered some days. Besides Henry's prick is exactly the type, long and not too thick. And the bastard does know exactly how to use the tool. I really do not like Henry so to speak... But I must admit that he is an exceptionnal fucker... He can go on for hours as if he did not need to come except when he wants. Nothing to com are with my husband, he only moves once or twice and it is all over... The purest type cuckhold...
VI
April 25.
Well I am really satisfied with myself. I finally finished these confidences of a young girl with the utmost care an application. I cannot say that it was easy, but at least while scribbling, I could not think of anything else. When I read the papers again I am sort of ashamed to have to give it to Professor Alcan. My next appointment with him is for tonight around five o'clock. It is true that I have already revealed many other facets of my life to the professor during the preceding sessions on his couch. I wonder what the professor is going to think of these notes, and specially of the nostalgia that I coul not help when talking about my boarding school days with my cousin Odette. Here are a few lines from tese papers:
...The dorm was ahuge sad cage in spite of the mediterranean light floo in it. At night huge yellow curtains were drawn over the large windows. We were about thirty girls in that convent like local. Thirty girls between the ages of thirteen and sixteen. All very good and pious as long as the marm was around. But as soon as the lamps were out, desire took hold of our budding breasts, out virgin slits, and our plane bellies... I was forge ting that in the whole dorm. I was the only one who had been raped. And under what conditions... As the other girls, players of sticky mandolins, I had the feeling of a renewed virginity. But I kept for myself the precise im ge of the phallus, of the dick, of my father as well as of Youssef...
It gave me a sort of superiority over all these young girls with their dark rimmed eyes and their fingers perpetually busy under their nighties, at the burning junction of their thighs.
They were all tickling themselves, busy with the pleasures given by their little slits, by pairs, or for
The shiest, alone. It was, in those few instants preceding the victory of sleep over our senses, an almost audible humming of titillated flesh under fingers whose nails had often been impatiently cut to the quick in the classroom. I had present in my mind, I could almost feel all these little excited asses, all these yawning and yet virgin cunts... Odette was sleeping in a bed just next to mine. In the dim light, before she would decide to come in my bed, I could distinguish her languid shape. The thighs widely parted and her belly already heaving with impatience. I could also see on the downy triangle the fluttering of her white fingers. Already in Constantine I had initiated Odette to the pleasures of that little game, but she had really learned fast and was now a much better adept than myself. Watching her and synchronizing my pleasure to hers I looked at her and caressed my buddings breasts and my belly with feverish hands. Then, delirious with expectation I had to leave my bed to go jump in hers...
We kissed open mouthed, thighs intermingled, our pussies rubbing against one another... Odette's cunt was more pronounced, deeper, with more pulpous lips. Her clit, developped by constan masturbation was to my greedy lips an exquisite strawberry... Her little hole, that I unveile to my eyes, parting her little buttocks, was alsb a delight for me. It was indeed one of the centers of my adoration. I was the priestess of a strange cult given to that little puckered mouth of brown flesh, firm but supple ring that ightened ar und my finger when I went for some exploratory activities. My mouth still keeps the aroma of the fluids of Odette when finally she let herself go... I masturbated her from the front and she dug her fingers in my vagine. I followed the coming the pleasure in her eyes, and I could sec that she was waiting for my pleasure to let hers come.
Then we shifted positions and we kissed one another while the other was being kissed Mouth to mouth so to speak, but what different mouths-She licked my slit, and used my fluids to lubricate her finger and dig it into my asshole. My slit was widening and my little button was erected like a little berry... Around us the shadows were populated by a million sighs... The girls were all imagining in their own ways the tender and warm animal always alive in men's pants. Odette knew more for we had often removed her brother's pants and caressed his little tool (I even sucked it sometimes...) till the boy would let out a few cries of pleasure and some drops of thin white liquid would spurt out... I would have given anything myself to have a prick and be able to penetrate the cunt of my little cousin. I could tell by the pleasures given to me by her invading fingers what type joys I could myself bestow...
Soon we could no longer be contented by our fingers. It is at that time that I went to the chapel and stole the remnants of a huge yellow wax altarcandle. Warming the wax between my thighs I succeeded in making it malleable enough to mold it to the acceptable fac-simile of a man's penis. Its head was bigger that the rest of the shaft. The model was a pretty good reproduction of a dick, in order to reproduce the balls I attached to it a pair of little rubber balls... Without knowing it, I had just reinvented that provider of consolation that I came to know later as a dildo.
From then on, Odette and myself knew other pleasures... I went on top of her, or her on top of me, and in turn we would penetrate ourselves... I was the first to experiment and have it introduced in my ass... First we lubricated it carefully with unguent, and then with a short shuttle motion, Odette introduced the thing in my ass. At first I almost cried out loud with pain, and asked her to stop... But when the sphincter had finally relaxed, what joy!
After all the cylinder was hardly bigger than a normal size curd, harder because of two or three day's abstinece from the John... Before Odette let herself be thus cornholed, I ad to make the comparison between the candle and her own shit... Finally shiwas convinced to try the engine in her little hole.. Her cunt had never had any problems swallowing it... Then other pleasures again, the tool deep in our asse..and our fingers busy on the little button... Odette though did not know the supreme pleasure that of the hot spurt that crown the posession by the male... And that was I secret that I kept much better than the fabrication of my wax instrument... I made a second one, and then a third, that Odette showed to a friend of hers... said friend immediately made one herself...
And what was to happen soon happenned... The whole dormitory was now equipped with homemade dildoes... Everynight was orgy night... The girls were covering the whole scale of lesbian and solitary pleasures... And the sighs became louder and louder, till the noise attracted the curiosity of the super, she came one night without announcing herself... And the whole mess was uncovered.
The super inspected all the beds, and there were so many instruments that she had to use a pillow case to take them away. The next morning we were all summoned in the principal's office and threatened with immediate expulsion, punished for a whole month... But it never became known whom the leader of the gang had been... Yet the super had her doubts, and suspicions... One thirsday she called me in the principal's office... As if by chance, the office was deserted.
"Is it you. little pervert, who taught all the other girls such shameful habits?..."
"No Ma'am. I lied shamelessly..."
"Now. come on, you can tell me, I shall not tattle to the principal..."
The super had come closer to me and I was beginning to see exactly what she had in mind. She put her arm around my neck and drew me closer to her... Then she asked.
"Do you want to be nice to me?"
"Yes Miss..."
"Then sit on my lap..."
I lowered my eyes, and I obeyed... The super started by caressing my hair, then with light and indiscreet fingers proceeded to unbutton my schoolgirl blouse... She bared my breasts and tweaked the peaks that immediately sprang to life. Then she pushed me backwards and kissed me full on the lips while one had went between my legs and pulled the seam of my panties.
"This is completely crazy, you will not tell on me to the principal will you... My only answer was that I nudged close to her. She unhooked herself her corsage and presented me with one of her beautiful breasts. They were splendid and so much bigger than mine. Then she said: suck the tips. I adore it.
At the same time she took my hand and guided it to her sex. She wans not wearing anything under her clothers and I immediately recognized the place that I had to caress... Her clit was as big as the prick of the little negro that I had previously sucked. She whispered to me: "No... Please don't do that..." But at the tone of the voice I could tell that she meant exactly the contrary. I therefore started immediately to masturbate her. She pushed her thumb in my cunt and thursted her forefinger in my asshole... Then, with that pincer motion in the eart of my most intimate flesh she started to caress me with a knowing technique... That massage of both my ass and my slit immediately made me half dizzy, then I became more and more exalted... It was the first time that a grown woman was caressing and penetrating me. The super might have been in her thirties and her bosom was ample. The slit that I was mauling without seeing was very hairy, damp and the slit was at leat as long as the lenght of my hand... The lips must have been slightly hanging between her legs, as well as the clit that I rolled between my fingers as if it had been the prick of a little boy. It did not take us too long to come, the co super was all red and congested, her breasts were heaving violently and she was unable to face me-I can still smile about it-ashamed that she had let herself be led astray by her lesbian passion... And to have one so with one of the girls of which she had the moral charge. Even though I had promised her to remain silent, I could not hep it and had to tell the whole story to my cousin... She went into a jealousy bout and for eight days masturbated by herself.
Same day, at night.
I am just returning from Professor Alcan... This time I know for sure. His "methods" are, to say the least, very peculiar. He received me in a very intimate little salon that had absolutely nothing in common with the austerity of his consultation cabinet. On the walls were engraving of the xvmth century, all on very risque subjects, andyet none of them could have been judged basely pornographic. The professor offered me an excellent scotch that I slowly sipped while he was reading the papers that I had brought him... His eyes were curiously shining when he gave me the papers back and asked me to read out loud the diary that I had just given him.
"With your permission, he said, I will make a recording of it, and you will later listen to it yourself, and we will together analyse your reactions."
Where the hell did he want to go with that?
He placed his little machine on a low table by a sofa wher he told me to lie. He sat near me and held the microphone at the right distance, then he gave me the diary... And now read as if you were alone, and trying to bring yourself mentally back to the time of your girlhood...
"If you insist doctor, I whall try..."
When the recording was over, the professor1 declared himself satisfied. Then he told me to lie down, face down, hidden between my folded arms... He switched the lights off, leaving only one spot directed on the sofa.
"Now, are you well relaxed?... The legs mostly, do not hold your knees tight... You are now the little Jacqueline asleep in the dorm..."
I could feel the hands of the professor on my back, on the nape of my neck as if were trying to magnetize me... Then my voice came out. In the beginning of my confessions I could hardly recognize it... Then as the thing went on it was a little as if my personality split yet I did not lose consciousness of the exact situation in which I was all the time.
"...Our bellies, our little breasts and our virgin slits... Odette was sleeping in my bed... She was taking posession of my little hole and was drilling it with her greedy little pointed tongue... She was licking...
The tape was going on and on... Strangely enough I was becoming increasingly excited at the soun of my voice... I could feel Professor Alcan, right there, close to me... His hands were becoming more and more adventurous... Under the slip nowhe was caressing my legs my thighs, then his lex hands took care of my buttocks and slowly went back towards my calves and carried with them my panties... Then my ass was completely bared to his eyes. I could feel sort of a draught and concluded that he must have been bundling my dress around my thighs...
I was now complctly exposed to his looks. The caresses were becoming more and more insidious but I was still not moving... I did not want to destroy the illusion of my past recreated by the unwinding tape...
I could imagine myself returned to girlhood and that the hands were indeed those of Odette busy on my ardent flesh. Then strictly on my own will I arched my back and offered my ass more completemy to the caresses that it eagerly expected...
I must add that Alcan was extremely gifted... He was. so to speack following the text... His hands were very soft and adroitly separated the flesh of my buttocks and the lips of my little cunt. Soon one finger came to lodge itself in my little hole and the other in my slit just as it had happened years before... When I came to the "'point" and adroit tongue came to replace he fingers and I could feel the warm air of his breathing on the twin globes of my behind... His fingers toured in my wet hair and then returned to caress and titillate the little buried button... It was driving me out of my mind... That tongue in my ass and my little clit raw with excitement... Odette? The Professor?... I was unable to tell which was which, so real was the dream or confuse the reality. And always, droning above our heads, I could hear the sound of my voice and the constant flow of obscenities. I came violently once, and still the tongue was lapping at my slit gobbing away all the fluids that had just spurted out... "The slit was long and the lips pulpous... A prick, a dick, a boy's tool..." the tape kept going on...
Unconsciously I answered:
"Yes, a dick...I want a cock... In my ass. now, I want it..."
It did not take long to see my wish come true. The weight of a body became heavier on my body... A huge bud of flesh edged itself in my sl�*. searching for the entrance, then in one thrust it rrttcred and penetrated my vagina all the way in... y . -.: i coming again. That cock, for me sexless, for in ir y dream I still fancied being screwed by Odette with a dildo... that cock was shuttling in my cunt, and soft hands were kneading my boobs... The cock became active to madness, then suddenly I felt the hot liquid in the highest part of my sex... Immediately the cock withdrew and pointed itself, all coated in its own sperm towards the smallest mouth of my anatomy. It took almost no effort to penetrate it... The sound from the tape-recorder came to a halt... By now I was no longer thinking about the screwing by Odette... The Professor was very real and was cornholing me splendidly... One of his hands was taking care of my clit while the other was tormenting my left nipple. For the third time I climbed all the way to the summits of pleasure and I began pleading for mercy. Yet I had to endure the stuffing of my ass for quite a while, till the Professor again sent another spray of hot liquid in my guts... He left me suddenly and moved away... I remained prostrated for a long time, and when I decided to turn around, nobody was in the room. There was no tape recorder and no doctor by my side... I restored some order to my clothing and passed my hand on my cunt... I was wet all over and gunk was still dripping out of my slit... I looked everywhere for my panties to wipe myself, but could not find them anywhere, my experimentator probably had taken them with him.
Somebody knocked at the door, a young woman, whom I had never seen before, came in. She was in a nurse's uniform. She smiled to ma and said:
"Would you please follow me?..."
I did as I was asked and followed her. She took me to a little bathroom and left me there without any further comment. There I found every implement to clean my ass and cunt, in dire need of such treatment. Also some touches to my make up. After that I got out, and the same girl took me this time to the consultation cabinet. Alcan, perfectly dignified was waiting for me sitting behind his desk. He returned to me my diary and added no comment. I asked him about the tape.
"It has been erased... Everything has been erased, in your memory as well as in mine. Another two or three sessions and you will be entirely mistress of yourself and delivered of all obsessions. He then got up and added: "It will be enough for today, I shall see you again in two days at the same hour..."
He bowed and opened the door of his cabinet...
I was so amazed at his change of behaviour that
I left without adding a single word. I do not feel like calling Henry, or anyone else for that matter... I am tired, very tired and I am going to bed.
VII
April 26.
This time I can really write the word diary at the beginning of this page because after my last interview with the doctor I have developped a taste for that kind of confidence to myself. Maybe someday these notes will be of use to my good friend Henry. Indeed the other day that charming boy with whom I enjoy some simple yet erotic relations, told me of his desire to write a pornographic novel... In that case my little notes may well be of some use to him. And if by chance they have on him the same result as on Alcan...
This morning I woke up around ten o'clock. I was very surprised to be alone in my big bed. I touched myself and found that the higher part of my ipner thighs was sopping wet. It is then that I recalled a dream which I think not without some relation with my interview of the afernoon with Alcan. I don't care what the vicious bum tries to tell me, that everything is er sed in my memory, that all that happened in that salon was nothing but an illusion I do know very well that he first screwed me from behind and then cornholed me while I listened to the tape that I had previously recorded at his request. I also remember that the mere fact of listening to my voice had put me in a fantastic state of excitement. I was almost as excited as when the things that I described had been happening.
To return to my dream, I was in a strangely decorated and windowless room. The walls and the ceilings were covered with a multitude of mirrors at all angles and they were all reflecting my image. What was not mirrors was covered with a rich black velvet, including the colossal bed that took most of the space. A few seats were covered in thick bloodred velvet and the contrast was stricking. The carpet was the same blood-red color and so thick that I had the impression of walking on foam. I was naked and all these reflections of my body produced on me a strangely obsessing effect. In spite of the strange feeling of fright that the thought of being prisonner in such a place gave me. I could not help but feeling warm an sensuous. It was as If the erogenous points of my body suddenly had become alive. Specially between my legs. I found distraction in the contemplation of my multiplied beauties. The admiration of my round buttocks, slowly swaying, in all the mirrors, the swell of my aching breasts, all contributed to the most exciting feeling of narcissistic love. I was loving myself, I wanted myself. I felt deliciously inebriated, my hands slowly trailed the full lenght of my body.
I caressed my body, and then down the slope of my incurved belly, and finally my sex. My cunt was afire, and slowly I started rubbing it. Then I suddenly had the feeling of being watched, the reflections of men's faces, that of Henri, then Francis, and my husband materialized. I could also see, more blurre in a distance, the grinning faces of the arabs... I hollered out, cried for help! Then the reflections of my body materialised, I was being rescued by a multitude of women a tidewave of sexes, breasts, arms and legs rolled over me, and, just as would the revolving scenary of a theater, the whole room suddenly disappear. I found myself back in the salon, lying on the couch, no longer naked but dressed in the same ensemble that I was wearing when I went to the Professor that afternoon. Odette was where the Professor had been, she slid her hands under my blouse and unhooked my bra. I was strangely confused, then she began to massage my nipples. Then another girl and Sylvia came in... They looked at me and lifted their skirts high above the waist. They exposed their naked bellies and sexes. Then still looking at me they started fingering themselves. Hand materialized everywhere, and soon I was naked again. Odette. Sylvia and the other girl that I could not recognize were all over me, I was being kissed everywhere. Tongues were darting, my nipples were throbbing my thighs were parted and the unknown girl leaned over my exposed cunt. Her tongue came up my slit and started lapping...
I gave myself entirely to the ministrations. I was tremendously exciting, but strangely enough I could not come completely. I was begging the others to either let me alone or make me come. The girl rose, Odette replaced her.
"Look how wet she is. she told the others, look at the bitch, she has to be screwed. Fingers penetrated my hungry cunt, fantastic thrills were multiplied all over my body... I was slowly becoming insane with joy... I called out loud, Sylvia, Odette, the Professor."
"Yes darling, I am coming said Sylvia..."
I must here open a parenthesis. In true life I have ever done anything with Sylvia. Francis's cock is the only member of her family to have ever received the honors of my love. Why was I calling Sylvia?... I probably ad been wanting her subconsciously for a long time... And instead of Odette Francis's sister was now answering me. I felt a weight on my chest. My breasts had become as big and hard as those of the super at school. Sylvia's belly and sex came almost against my mouth. The closed all my vision. Then a hot and hairy mouth glued itself on my lips. I licked the full lenght of the slit and soon found the clit that I started aspiring. It became longer and longer as I was sucking it. My body was twisting under the multiplication of the caresses. I was absorbed under amountain or girls. Lips were sucking my nipples teeth were biting at the sensitive ends. Even my asshole received its share of delights. Yet I was missing one thing. The phallus absent from the bellies of all my attackers... Then the super changed herself into a man with a gigantic cock... She chased all the females away with the exception of Sylvia whose sex I was still devrouring. She was pissing on my face and then replaced the wet lips of her yanning pussy on my mouth. Then I felt the cock of the super enter me and shuttle in my body. It rammed itself al; the way in my sex and touched the bottom of my vagina. My whole body was shaken at the rythm of that penetration where tenderness alternated with violence. I screamed my release in a spark of fire, and then the infernal tool left my cunt only to force my asshole. My ass was raped many times by that monstrous thing. And then it would slip out and screw me regularly again, and again... Sylvia was still holding my head tight between her thighs. She was coming in one long succession of cries and groans... My louth was filled many times with the liquids dripping from her adored mouth... Then she disappeared and her lips were replaced by the congested head of a colossal cock. It changed itself in a curd and suddenly sperm topped it... Yet I could not come...
I woke up at that moment, and I don't think I have to precised that I finished with my fingers what the dream had started in me... Same day, at night.
I am just now returning from Professor Alcan. This time nothing worth telling took place during the consultation. He looked very tored with deeps bags under his dirty eyes. I came to the conclusion that It was probably the reason why he showed so little interest in me that afternoon. Yet I tried to tease him and talked about the past session. Because, no matter what he says, I have not forgotten how the strange fellow made me come, with his shaven skull, the help of his tape recorder, and fucking my ass while I was listening to my own version of my most lubric experiences.
Then Alcan talked about my rape:
"In order for you to get definitely rid of your obsessions, you should associate a pleasurable feeling to the notion of that rape. To that effect I am proposing to you to attempt a reconstitution."
"A reconstitution?"
"Yes, under certain circumstances that I will precise later if you agree?"
"You are frightening me doctor... and I must admit that I was not too happy... Now that I knew more or less what type man the doctor was. I wondered with some anxiety what his new intentions were going to be..."
"Do not fear anything... On the contrary, you will not regret it..."
"In that case doctor. I am at your entire disposition..."
We agreed that the dale for the reconstitution should be May 1st. My husband was supposed to be away on a business trip.
April 27.
I returned to the clinic to see Francis. The moment I entered the room I could see his eyes become alive with desire I could also see immediately that he was getting excited. The sheet covering him was bulding at a very precise point. I was very impatient to see the nurse go away so that I could pull the sheet, to be able to take that tool between my hands, caress it, kiss it, and take the nice balls between my fingers...
The nurse was still not leaving. She was smiling strangely and looked as if she was waiting for something. I understood and slid a banknote in her open palm. She left and added, I you need me, just press the button at the end of the bed. As soon as she had left I threw myself a that poor Francis, still paralysed by his plaster and only able to use one arm. I kissed him greedily while his free hand was looking for, and finding my sex. I was slightly caressing his prick under the sheet, awaking his virility. I wanted to kiss and clean with my mouth that nice tool...
I finally removed the sheet and put my lips to the throbbing pillar of flesh... Surprise it was as clean as if...
"Bastard, you have been screwing someone else... the nurse?..."
"She came and asked for it... said Francis ashamed..."
My jealousy dropped dead right there and I almost laughed...
"What did that fake holy-holy do to you?..." "Just as you did. the first time you came..." "More, I want details."
"Well, she came on top of me and did a splendid blow job... It did not last: long though..." "Why?"
"The moment I got in I came, and she swallowed the whole thing... She almost kept sucking till I had reverted to my soft self... Then she cleaned me..."
"You bastard... And you were pretending to be madly in love with me... aren't you ashamed?... I was supposed to be the only woman in your life... What would your mother say if I were to tel her about you?... What would you say then?..."
"I don't give a damn... First of all she knows that I am go longer a virgin... And then I don't come around and bother her everytime she wants to get herself another stud..."
"Well I hope that you will keep enjoying your little slutty nurse... I said and acted as if I were about to leave, I had not intended to do so, but I wanted to see..."
"No, Jacqueline stay... You see how excited I am for you... I want to kiss you... To suck you the way I did the other day... You remember it? You almost pissed in my mouth so hard was your release..."
"You bum, shut up..."
But I had to shut up. because Francis with his valid arm had taken holf of my hair and was slowly but inexorably drawing my head down to his belly... Towards his beautiful and clean dick, and his bushy little belly... and let's face it, that is exactly what I wanted... I took the tool between my lips and slowly I started sucking it... I did not care if he had screwed the little nurse minutes before I had gotten there... I slightly turned around and offered my behind to hos eyes. He had slid his hand under the rubber band of my panties and was now caressing the twin globes of my behind. Then his fingers lingered lower and along my slit his fingeres found and amused the selves with my little hole... I wonder if someone had taught him the trick or if he knew by instinct the pleasure of taking care first of the little hole before jumping at the essentials... I could hea him sigh while I was sucking him and that my hand was steadily caressing the pole of flesh... But he was not thinking only of himself for I heard his voice, panting:
"Is it good darling? Do you like for me to caress your little hole?... Your little brown mouth?..."
And at the same time he was trying to force his forefinger in my tight little hole...
But it was not lubricated enough... It still felt good, and as I had my mouth filled I could not answer him, but on the contrary I arched my body and wiggling my ass led him to understand that his dirty actions were not entirely displeasurable.
"I want to... to..."
He did not even dare to say the words the poor darling... No more than I could tell him how well trained and used to such delights my little hole was already. I stopped sucking him for a second and told him:
"First put you finger in my cunt... feel how wet?"
"I do. you filthy bitch..."
"Keep rubbing the wav you were..."
Then he understood and his finger got out of my cunt, slimy with my juices and returned to the narrower gate... Then he thrusted it in and in it went... all the way. I came immediately and my panties were soaked... Thank god Francis was longer to come... It was probably die to the fact that he already had had his little fun with the nurse in the afternoon. That might allow me to realize a little scheme that had come to my mind while looking at the little nurse when she had walked out of the room. She did have a sly smile on her face.
I let go of Francis and told him bluntly...
"Now you can get your fingers out of me... I am perfectly satisfied and happy... If you want to be satisfied in turn, all you have to do is ring the bell and ask the nurse."
I was expecting some kind of protest but the very cooly answered:
"Why not?... She is sort of cute... And as far as blowing man, she blows..."
The pig... I could have slapped his face, I could have beaten him...
"Then, call her, said I. getting up from the bed..."
"You want to bet?..."
"Why not."
Immediately he extended his arm... He certainly did not know, no matter how precocious and vicious he was, that had he not done it himself I would have done so later on. The pretty girl came in. A beau tiful complexion, beautiful smile, and arrogant bosom in spite of the austere uniform.
'"Our gentleman needs you... I said without hesitation... and pulled the sheet all the way down to his feet. Francis's cock was still aiming at the stars, still glistening with my own saliva."
"Just a moment ma'am... and the nurse bolted the door."
"What is your name?... and I started caressing one of her breasts through the material." "Annick." "From Brittany?" "Yes ma'am..."
"Well Annick, I think you are charming... Isn't the truth Francis that she is charming?"
"I have heard, Annick, that you can suck boys with a rare talent and I would certainly appreciate seeing a sample of your qualifications..."
"The pleasure will be mine, but first."
And she quickly got rid of the uniform. Under it she was weaning the cutest male blue slip quite a contrast... Her oanties were also pale blue and so where the two high cups of the most diminutive bra... As I loked somewhat taken aback by the ease and facility with which she had just disrobed in front of the two of us, she looked at me and said:
"I think that you should do the same, and I do not believe that it would shock Mr. Francis too much... It took me two seconds to be more naked than she was... I only kept my stokings held by the wispiest garter belt... I must admit that I was quite proud of the comparison my shapes were almost as nice as those of the much younger girl..."
Annick climbed on the bed, knelt between Franci's legs and immediately started to suck his prick. All the while her ass was wiggling deliciously. I then climbed on the bed too. I placed myself in such a way that Francis could easily suck my cunt. That way I faced Annick, and while she was pumping him and the beautiful flesh was coming in and out of her mouth, the tongue and fingers of Francis were busy at both my mouths... The girl had both her hands behind his ass and I guessed at his moans, coming from between my legs that she must have been tickling his testicles with one and drilling his asshole with the other. The vision was most exciting to me and the sucking I was receiving was almost "driving me clear out of my mind. But I could also see that pretty soon, Francis was going to let go and come in the girl's mouth. It was very far from my ideas to let such a thing happen and I was not about to let the pretty girl take advantage of the nice opportunity all by herself. I was ying with the desire of being cornholed by Francis. I could feel his nose, deeply imbedded between my buttocks, pressing against my palpitating asshole, but no matter how nice the nose it was nothing compared to the cock that I wanted. I turned myself towards Annick and said: Let us swap places, if you don't mind... I am sure that you will appreciate receiving the same kind of treatment I have just received...
In turn, Annick squatted on the injured boy's face, but before she positionned herself she removed her panties and gave me a good look at her cunt. It was a very pretty one, pink with thick lips and not too much hair. I sat on Francis lower body and my back to him grabbed his glistening prick. I aimed it myself at my little hole and slowly let my weigth come to bear on it. At first when its bulk distended my narrow ring I could not help but let our a little cry of pain. But then, when the whole thing came to rest deep inside me, what joy! I did not think about Annick anymore even though I could hear her pant under the ministrations of our dear Francis... I impaled myself on his sex but even that was not enough and I began to masturbate myself with my right hand. Annick realized it and came in front of me. She laid herself down on the bed and said:
"I just came, and now if you don't mind..."
Without waiting fo my answered she pushed me backwards so that, still impaled I would have my back coming to rest against Francis's belly. Then she grabbed Francis's cock with one hand and with the other parted the dripping lips of my cunt. Her lips came close to my little clit, and then absorbed it and started twisting it, sucking it. rythming the pace with that of her hand, slowly shaking the pole of flesh still deeply in my, ass. Simultaneously she introduced the fingers of her free hand in my vagina and while her tongue was tickling me she was shuttling that new intruder to and fro in my cunt. I had to bite my own lips not to scream with joy. The cock screwing my ass on one side and the combined action of the fingers and the tongue on the other was just too much for me to take. Francis was beginning to pant and his body, hampered as it was with the plaster and the bandages, was heaving vicorously... He trie to stiffle his cries but when he finally came and his sperm came rushing into my ass he could not help it and let out a deep groan of ecstasy... Then I came in Annick's mouth and half dead let myself slip on the side of the bed. Annick coiled herself against me and her mouth took possession of mine. She really had the dispositions of a bitch in heat and she spat back in my mouth all the fluids that I had given her while she was sucking me... Francis's dick slipped out of my ass and came to rest, slowly shrinking against the fold of his thighs... The whole room smelled of sex, sweat, and love. While Annick started kissing me, I masturbated her she did not take long to come and rattled for a moment, her eyes rolling madly in their sockets. She bit me... We remained interwined for a little while... Francis was still panting. His panting increased when I returned to his belly and started kissing his relaxed penis. Annick again let herself slide down my body and her mouth was finding its way to my asshole, still oozing Francis's sperm. Under my tongue I could feel Francis regaining his vitality... When he was ready again I turned myself to ards Annick and told her, unselfish as I was: It is your turn now...
She did not wait for me to say it another time and immediately shifted position. Her sex came above his dick and I grasped it myself to guide it between the swollen lips. I sucked her ass while he was screwing her and the smell of her body gave me more strength... Till they both almost fainted in their renewed pleasures I masturbated like mad...
* * *
Whe I finally left the clinic. I could hardly hear Francis saying good bye... His voice seemed to have left him. Annick had become again the efficient nurse and she was bringig him a good dinner... Judging from his looks he really needed it. April 29.
I was so tired yesterday that I remained home. I keep an amazing memento from my visit to the clinic... I would even say a burning one... While I was letting Francis screw the hell out of my ass. the bastard tore slightly my tender skin and I was so excited that I did not even feel the pain when it did happen. Next time I will remember to carry a little tube of vaseline in my purse... I like to get my ass screwed so much that I can never resist the opportunity whenever it harpens. I did not write anything, being too lazy for any work. Yet today I have to tell of a little incident that amused me to no end.
I caught Therese. my maid, a little normand girl at my service for about six months, masturbating in the servants quarters at the sixth floor... The kid, about 17 years old had so far given me the impression of being very good and much more innocent than any of the maids I had ever had. I was merely going to her room to see whether she was keeping it tidy and whether she needed anything. When I got to her door I heard sighs and moans... 1 immediately thought that she was feeling ill... The idea did not come to me that some sort of boy friend could have gone upstairs without my noticing it... Yet the more I listened to them, the more these sighs became revealing and self explanatory. I glued my eye to the keyhole, and right thre, almost filling the narrow field of vision was the dark triangle of her sex with two fingers frenetically rubbing the little button. I tried to open the door, but it would not give in... I knocked and called:
Therese, open the door, I have to talk to you...
There was some rumbling on the other side of the door, and then she opened it. She had adjusted herself again but you could still tell of her excitement by looking at the shine of her eyes and the circles under them. Without a word I came close to her and lifted her skirt...
"Well, well, now you don't wear pants any more?"
"But Ma'am I was just going to change them when you came in..."
It is then that I noticed a book, half hidden under her pillow. I grabbed it. and immediately became interested... That holy holy was really an expert This was no cheap publication, but an edition richly illustrated and with a beat ful binding.
"Where did you find that book Therese?..."
The girl immediately went in a crisis an started crying. Then she admitted that she had found the book in my husbands desk while dusting the room.
As one knows one never lets that kind of book around the place unguarded and I immedately suspected a lie...
"You are not telling me the truth Therese and I don't like it. I think that I will have to do without you in the future if you are unable to tell me the truth when I ask you..."
"Monsieur lend me the book..."
I nearly exploded laughing... My dear pious husband?... Reading pornography?.. I was now completely calmed and began to have some ideas with Therese. Then I thought that I could not have kept any authority with my servanys if I were to go to bed with them. All right Therese. for this time you are forgiven, but do not go on rubbing what you are thinking about now...
I went down with the book curious myself and well decided to read it at night in bed.
* * *
I gave me a great pleasure to read the book. The style was sort of old in the manner of the authors of the last century... The edition bore the date of 1862... The terms were most precise and not without a certain elegance... I had the impression of living again a gallant adventure under the second Empire... Some Casanova is trying to seduce a russian princess, and in what devious ways:
"...As I could not succeed in the normal way, and as my penis, even though of remarkable proportions had no success in the natural channel I decided to try the other way. I tell of my plan to the beauty and even though she is still a virgin on that side she agrees to my idea. Before the penetration which I suppose will be painful for the patient. I decide to prepare her and lick her clitoris like a king... Then I tell her to lie on top of me but with her bak to me and her face facing my feet. Then she starts licking my balls and slocly sucking my penis. To my eyes are offered the twin globes of her behind and my darting tongue is drilling her little brown hole. I then revert to her sex and back to little gate. I enlarge the passage with my fingers wetted with the divine juices of her sex. Playing that sort of game, Chloe my mistress of the moment would have already come three of four times... My princess Alexandra hardly denotes any emotion by a slight contraction of her sphincter when I penetrate it with my fingers. Seeing the result or rather the absence of result I decide to attack and have her place herself head down reclining on a pillow her body arched and her ass offered entirely to my lubricity. The hole is nice pretty and pink... Definitely a virgin from that side I smell with delights the aromas of that fruit still forme full of its original mystery. My lips come in contact with the puckered mouth and wet its entrance to facilitate my task. My dart is aimed at its target. I use both my hands, one to support me the other to guide the weapon. I push and push, but the narrow gate prevents me from Ou est la suite de ce feuillet ? "Do you suffer my darling?,.." "No not yet my friend..."
This does not seem a very encouraging way but I keep insisting and three four times again I come in thrusting contact with the narrow door. Four times it refuses itself to my rape. Finally I feel it give in under my weight... It is too... I get in and slowly penetrate... But I stay at the door... It will take me many efforts to get finally all the way where I had previously intended; Victory... I stay motionless to avoid being expelled brutally in a defecatory reflex, but still no reaction from Alexandre. My victory however is complete and my whole prick has disappeared in the anus. Sliding my hand under the belly. I reach the sliky down and slowly begin caressing the little button... Still not the least reaction from my beautiful Alexandra. I am hopelessly waiting for her cries to begin but nothing happens, I would love for her passion to culminate at the same time as mine... I know that I cannot control myself much longer. In spite of all my efforts. I cannot obtain from my victim the proof of reciprocated joys from my penis. I came once and do not retire, but instead bugger her once more. Alas in both cases my pleasure was of the solitary kind. After one more try I finally fall asleep by the side of my impossible companion and the night robs me from the frustration and the fury of having not satisfied her.
The next morning when I wake up I contemplate the adorable creature asleep naked by my side. My rage returns to me and all the frustrations of the preceding night. Has one ever seen such an iceberg?.. I was going to leave the room taking with me my humiliation. Suddenly an idea came to me... I was going to leave her alright but not without giving her something that she would remember all her life.
* * *
April 30.
Yesterday I was interupted in my reading by a phone call. I placed the book on the bedside table and picked up the phone with the same hand. I am not ashamed to say that with the other hand I was busily doing what my young maid had done when she was reading the same book... Exploring or rather returning to very familiar grounds it was trailing up and down the sweetest furrow of our bodies... The call came from Henri who was in the latin quarter with another fantastic friend and an incredible girl... I immediately understood that all I was to be was the fourth of what appeared to be a fantastic fou some in preparation... But I was in bed, and I liked what I was reading...-Really Henri, I feel in no condition for that kind of exercise, if you see what I mean?...before hanging up Henri left me a number where I could call should 1 decide to change my mind... I took the book in hand, one hand and looked at the illustrations. No matter how good they are, words cannot replace the erotic and suggestive power of the illustrations... Thus just looking at the engraving showing the woman, elegant and her eyes half closed with pleasure, her frilly undergarments trussed up above her waist, being sucked by the gentleman, profile so that the tongue can be seen caressing the clitoris, just watching the picture I masturbated all the way and came pleasurably. But it was not satisfactory enough for me to give up reading, and temporarily appeased I resumed my reading where I had left it.
"...Coming closer to the bed I woke*Alexandra up. Then taking her in my arms I carried her in the little sitting room next to our room. There I sai or? a chair and placed her across my knees... Her ass beautifully propped up. the buttocks slightly parted who show a perfectly shaped sex. like a dark fig between her thighs, that treasure of an ass is ready to receive a magisterial spanking. I hold her body firmly under my left arm. and my right hand comes down from the full lenght of my extended arm. It sounds like a thunderclap and my five fingers are now printed on the beautifully white flesh of her buttocks. After a certain time of the treatment her whole behind becomes as red as a lobster in boiling water... I only stop when my hands cannot take the pain any more... the victim has stopped screaming and defending herself... Suddenly. Oh surprise! I see a little drop of liquid oozing out of the offered slit... it seems after all that my spanking has had the most beneficial effect... Yet still irritated I act as if I was about to leave... Suddenly Alexandra throws herself at me and her mouth is dispensing the most provocative kisses while I can feel her hands feverishly trying to unbutton my pants... What a change, when I think of all the trouble I went through to try to communicate some fire to that woman. Was the fire communicated to her ass the necessary spark needed to start the machine?... In front of such insistence I give up...
Thanks given to the gods who have endowed me with enough strenght to satisfy all the queries of love, I am soon in full bloom so to speak... and soon naked on the bed in Alexandra's arms... When I penetrate her vagina she is seized with a delirious passion that saw itself renewed almost ten times during that very morning... More than one the spasm came under my tongue when my virility could not be forced into action after a particularly exhausting bout... We lunched together and it gave me the opportunity to look at the magnificent creature that she was using as her maid. After lunch we made love again, on a chair and in front of a mirror. The beautifully lacy pants allowed me to penetrate her without removing them... Then it also provided a delicious setting for her most intimate charms...
* * *
The chapter ended there. I was wet and again excited. I rang for Therese. She came in worried and probably expecting to be chasitiscd again... On the contrary I showed the book to her:
"Did you read it entirely?..."
"No Ma'am..."
"Would you like to read it with me?" "I would never dare to do it Ma'am..." "Yet you were masturbating in your room?..." "...Yes Ma'am..."
"Well then, as a punishment you will have to caress me too while you read the text out loud."
"As I said that I put one arm around her neck and let my hand dip in the V of her blouse. The breasts are young and hard. The nipples come to life the very moment I touch them." "I am listening..."
"Trio of love" says Therese in a worried voice..."
"...That night my beautiful friend who was waiting for me opened the door herself and ghrew herself in my arms... Here eyes are burning with desire. The impatience with which she had expected my return was plainly visible on her face. Without leaving me time enough to get undress she already searched in my pants and grabbed my sex that she immediately wanted... But I moved away from her and got complete my undressed... Then she ran after me and jumped on the bed, naked and light as a fawn in the forest... I am but too happy to do exactly as she wishes... To begin with I lie on top of her lifting her legs in the air thus exposing all her charms. Her little temple of Venus is shining and damp... I penetrate it easily... But after a couple of thrusts she moves away from me and says: "I do not wish to abandon you half-way, please whip me first... She jumps out of bed and from a drawer takes a handful of birch twigs... She hands them to me and says: please do not spare me... I want my pains to be an hommage to your virility, warm me the way you did this morning... I am your slave, I am your thing. I want it... I thought for myself that it would be Too hard on the skin of the tender creature to use Aue 6uucaM jou ss/yi J japi/W sq6ii^j Aui pauado aijg understood immediately what was expected of her. a noble composure... To vary the diet I then decide that a little 69 will do perfectly, her head between my legs yawning and oozing cunt on my Hps. Alexandra is moaning... Her buttocks are trembling against my face. My mouth is devouring the deepest part of her sex. I give a thousand kisses to both gates alternately offered to my greed. Alexandra in turn sucks me divinely, giving her attentions to my ass as well as my ball and the prick itself. She thrusts a finger in my little hole and keeps sucking greedily, her cheecks hollowed, mouth distended... My sperm is long to come and when pleasure finally frees me I feel almost faint...
When we reached that particular poinf of the account Therese found herself unable to proceed any further. I must say that during the whole of her recitation my hands had tormented her nipples and then ventured between her legs... Her cunt was now open and wet and I found a vicious joy in slowly arousing her... Therese finally could not hold it any longer and the violently came in my hand. Her cunt was just as wet as the one of Odette when we were both doing naughty things to one another at school.
"Do you want to be nice to me?..
"Anything Ma'am wants me to do..."
Then I lifted my almost transparent neglige, Therese the wood, and think that I should probably better use the hand as I did so successfully this morning. In the meantime I tell the woman exactly how I want her to place herself. She positions herself on me, her head facing my feet, sitting down. With her hands she holds me erected dick and I tell her:
"Now you are going to do as if you were screwing me...
She does just that and as I see that magnificent behind climbing and going down on my tool I slap both cheeks with all my strenght... Alexandra is now panting and moaning impaled on my cock, and wet as never before, her juices are overflowing and now cover my balls and part of my thighs... When her ass is so red that you could think that it should smoke. I stop spinking her and thrusts a finger in her asshole, my whole finger disappears in her anus... She accelerates her motion, squeezing her large buttocks on my belly... She cries her pleasure and in turn I come violently... We are hardly through that she turns around and begs me to take her the other side first because she wants to be able to kiss at the same time... She holes me close to her. her breasts are flattened against my chest, her tongue is drilling in my mouth and her teeth are nibbling at my lips while her hands go down along my body and impale herself again on my pick. I succeed in coming another time without even losing my strenght... After a short intermission the undefatigable Alexandra wants to resume the tender fight, but my cock, not as alert and eager as her clit. does not know how to regain panties. Therese sank her face in my pubic hair... Her lips glued themselves to me adroitly... Immediately my little button trembled with pleasure. Her tongue was so agile that I had my doubts as to whether this was the first time she had given such attentions to someone. Yet as I masturbated her it came to my mind that she was still a virgin. There was no mistaking possible in the resistance in her sex. It is then that it dawned on me that I would like to see my husband take care of that little detail in front of me. I asked her about him:
"He never touched me... well I mean he never sade love to me. When he gave me the book he merely put his hand on my fanny..."
"Was that all?..."
"No. he took his tool but and put it in my hands and then showed me how you are supposed to give pleasure to a man with your fingers."
"And you did it?..."
"Yes Ma'am... but it did not last very long, for he came almost immediately in his handkerchief."
I could not believe it. Johnn was then more vicious that I had supposed. I promised myself to give him quite a reception when he would return.
May 1st.
It was almost daylight when I fell asleep. The ridiculeous interlude with Therese had left me terrible frustrated. What I really needed was a huge prick first in my cunt and then in my ass to cool me down. When I think that I had refused the invitation of Henri, who knows what kind of orgy he would have embarked upon... I was also thinking about Francis... In sort of a haze I could almost see him. I would have loved to be lying all over him. naked, my body against the blaaster, rub the tips of my breasts against his prick, his hair that excited me so... I could also see him with the nurse, the blond pussy going up and down on his shaft... while he was licking me from the clit to the asshole. I could almost feel his prick when I had been buggered and had stood almost motionless, buggered to the hilt. If only I had a dildo handy. Even my husband would have been of some use. Even though he never tried the backdoor. It would really be too much asking him... -He does not even take me from behind... That wouls facilitate matters, all I would have to do would be to take his prock and thrust it in my ass it would immediately open to welcome him.
As I could not go to sleep I took the book again and I discovered a really crunchy chapter. It was another story about a vicious maid... Something that could have really happened if Henry had walked on us when I was been sucked by Therese... The hero of the book, after another exhausting love session with his newly awakened mistress, has finally convinced her of admitting her chambermaid in her bed while he watches from a crack in a closet door.
"...A few minutes after the young girl walked in the room... She is either sixteen or seventeen... She is holding a candelabra in her hand... She moved towards the bed where Alexandra was lying, there were still wet spots where we had made love..."
"Did my mistress call?..."
"Yes. the gentleman left me all by myself for tonight, and I cannot find my sleep, would you please keep me company?..."
The eyes of the maid shone with anticpated pleasure and she tore her peignoir away... Naked in a wink she jumped in her mistress's bed... First she remained at a little distance and then came closer, and closer to the almost naked body, the princess... Alexandra does not move... The breasts are almost touching, the tips are hard and now out of the neglige... Encouraged by the apparent passivity of her mistress the maid suddenly, glues her lips to the princess's mouth. Alexandra accepted the kiss then slowly put her hands on the young girl's head and, opening her thighs directed the child towards her sex. She did not hesitate but a second and starte kissing the slit still full of the sperm that I had deposited during my last lovemaking... Her knees doubled almost under her chin she sucks her mistress's cunt with avidity. From where I am hiding I do not lose a single aspect of the luxurious spectacle... The sight is splendidly erotic of that young girl making love to the more bloomed woman. I want to wait as long as possible before intervening and I masturbate slowly behind the door, thus maintaining an honorable shape, considering the previous activities. Alexandra knows that I am watching, and I am waiting for her to give me a sign and come in the room... Yet the two females seem to have forgotten me entirely... The maid was still at her work and was now handling herself if I interpreted correctly the frantic motions of her hand lost between her thighs. This time I could resist it no longer, and jumping out of my hiding point I claim the right to join the frolic. I came at an odd moment, Alexandra was still pissing her joy while the other vicious bitch was trying to find hers with her fingers. She was indeed so busy that she did not seem to notice at first my irruption in the chamber of-love. Alexandra who had fo gotten me during the five minutes she had been left with the maid, realizes that I am here and pushes the head of the maid away from her sex. Surprised for a second, the maid quickly realizes that it was probably all planned ahead of time and immediately returns to her sucking activity... Alexandra seems quite in the proper disposition for another booth and this time I want to take her sideways... She opens her legs widely to accomodate me and her cunt is so lubricated that my prick slides into it without any hesitation. Hortense is not about to give up her position either. She separates the thighs of her mistress to the maximum, leans over the wet hair and spreads from the front the lips of the cunt that I am screwing from behind. Her sharp little tongue slips up and down along the slit and is very active on the cunt... I slip out one second to rub it on the lips of the cunt, and Hortense's tongue immediately takes posession of my prick... The sensation is so good that I come at that precise moment and send my sperm fluttering on Hortense's tongue and nose as well as on the Princesse's cunt. The maid kept right on liking, clearing the mess that I had created and leaving no traces of my emportment.
No matter how exciting the way of cleaning might have been it was not the most efficient one. They rose and disappeared together in the bathroom. I wiped myself with Hortense's nightgown. I suspected that my new conquest had been lesbian by vocation when I mad met and converted her. I am delighted to have sort of brought back in the right way in spite of the plasure I took in sodomidinz her. When the women reappeared, I did not tell them anything about that preference. But I turned myself to Alexandra and told her, It is too bad that I must now lose you... Now that I know that you like women more than me. as you have just proved...
In guise of an answer Alexandra tied her arms around my neck and threw me back on the bed wit her. She covered my body with a hundred kisses. She started back at my prick and I felt that if I had let her continue she would have sucked me to the blood.
"Just a minute darling... You should show some recognition to that darling little Hortense who has just given you so much pleasure and has only received a minimum. And even that had to come from her own fingers... While I was making love to you..."
"Oh, it was delicious..."
"Well now it is your turn to do the same thing to her that she did to you... Look how shiny her eyes are becoming at the mere idea of the pleasure that you are going to give her."
What I really wanted to see, but I was not about to tell her, was a woman of quality, a Princess at that, lowered to eating the shit out of her servant's ass.
"But I really do not know exactly how to do it... said Alexandra who had probably guessed my thoughts.
"Come on, you will see that it is not too difficult... I will give you the first lesson... I picked up the birch twigs and seccured them tightly in my hand, then I started bringing down on her breasts, back and belly a volley of blows... Hortense withdrew slightly frightened by the sight of the correction her mistress was receiving but I could also read her thankfulness for my giving her an occasion of being eaten up by her mistress."
"Enough my darling, enough, I shall do exactly as you please..."
"That is just fine, now get down from that bed..."
She complied without hesitation, and as she found herself on the floor I positionned Hortense on the side of the bed, her legs widely spread and hanging down... Now it is your turn my pretty... Bring your face close to that little grotto of love waiting for your visit... Look at these marvelously pink lips waiting for your visit, and the little clit already erected... Ecstatic, her eyes half closed, Hortense was impatiently waiting for the sapphic caress of her mistress suddenly become her love slave...
"Open your lovely mouth wide, said I to the beauty vanquished by the whip, and now put your lips to that pretty flower... on these other lips perfumed of sperm and love, close it entirely, that's it, now put your little tongue on the button above the entrance... Let your tongue wander all the way down, there... Hortense was twisting and turning on the bed and had to bite her hand so violent was the pleasure she was receiving from the kiss." I realized it and said:
"Look at her come, I should have guessed that long ago, oh the little slut, she really loves that kind of treatment... -then, turning to Alexandra-and you?., do you like it?... How does it feel to be sucking the cunt of your maid?... Do you feel how wet she is getting?... Come on, swallow the whole mess, and do that correctly, let me see your little tongue lapping at the vitals of your servant... Pull that tongue out, put it on the tip of her clit... That's it.:. Now get lower, and deeper, at the spot where the vagina stores all its liquor of love..."
While directing the operation I was from time to time striking my mistress's bottom with the twig just to remember her of my presence... I was again getting excited and my prick had taken the size of that of a donkey... I climbed on the bed with the intention of being sucked by Hortense, but she was too far gone to have done any sensible sucking. I bent a little lower then and pushed my prick, still gistening with her saliva, between the narrow walls of the valley formed by her breasts.
"Aaaah... It is so good... I am coming... Aaaah,.."
Hortense does not even know where she is anymore... She finally shuts up and remains there motionless... Her belly agitated by a series of spasms...
Alexandra rises. She wipes her mouth with the back of her hand... She contemplates her good work. The maid has passed out... She is afraid to have injured her... I turn to her and say:
"I am going to wake her up..."
Then I grab Hortense and turn her over on the bed... Her ass is now in full sight of the two of us... A deft tonguing at the strategic point and everything should come back to normal. Toa Alexandra I say:
"Place you self behind me and hold both her legs... Keep her still if she wants to move. I will tell you what to do as thing proceed..."
Alexandra is now as obedient as a tamed slave. First I slide the head of my penis in the opening of the vagina to lubricate it. Then, parting the buttocks to reveal the little brown hole, treasure of that young ass, I aim and with one vigorous thrust I penetrate the narrow sheath to the hilt... Hortense now entirely awake screamed, but I am well within the walls now and nothing can be done. My balls are pressing against her buttocks and the lips of her cunt are so swollen that they come out from between her legs... Now that the penetration has been effected and that the tool is inside, Hortense does not suffer anymore. She is meremy sighing at each shuttle of the shaft... I move myself slightly way from her body so that a few inches would separate her belly and my prick... Then I tell Alexandra to sit on the rug, between my spreaded legs. And now what do I do?... Caress my balls and at the same time suck her little button... If you let your tongue go all the way along Hortense's slit you will help her to come while I cornholed her...
The maid is so excited that she comes immediately in her mistress's mouth... At the same time I can feel her secret channel contracting against my cock, and immobilizing it for a second. Then I finish my work by ejaculating violently in her ass...
As I withdraw my tool from the maid's ass the liquids that I have just pushed inside slowly ooze out and glide towards the cunt. To finish our activities I ask Alexandra to clean it, with her tongue of course. That last humiliation is enough to put Alexandra entirely at my mercy... She is already excited again... But my sex is not made of wood and it will take me quite some time to regain enough strenght for another assault.
Hortense is now gettng up from the rug. "Did I hurt you?..."
"Only at first when you got in me, then it became very good and mostly when our mistress started licking me...
I wanted to check for myself and see that I had not caused too much trouble to the little hole of the young maid... To my surprise it was not bleeding, then I just slid one finger in her vagina and then got a real surprise...
"You men to say that you are still a virgin from the front even though you are no longer by the narrow gate... The kid was sort of blushing as if I had discovered something that she was ashamed of still posessing... I must admit that after the scenes where she had participated and after a few of the things that I had heard I was slightly surprised I was even more than slightly surprised..."
"Well in that case we are going to rid you of that little membrane..."
"Oh no, sir..."
"And why not? pray tell?"
"Because I would be much too scared of becoming pregnant..."
"But I would be extremely careful..." Hortense had sort of a wry smile that had me smiling...
"Careful... I have heard the word before and then later on..."
"You do no trust me?"
"Yes sir, but I still would rather be cornholed than any other way... and whenever you feel like taking your pleasure in my little hole I am entirely at your disposition..."
Then she turned towards Alexandra and added:
"With my mistresse's permission of course..."
At that point I put the book back on the beside table... I must admit that I could hardly believe that somebody would go ahead and publish such things... to write them was already something, but to go as far as to publish them... I was also very surprised to see that my husband had such a book in his posession and came to the conclusion that if he had lend it to Therese it was certainly with the non avowed desire of taking her virginity some day...
Same day, after lunch... I am a little woried... Today is the day of the "rape reconstitution..." I wonder what the Professor means by reconstitution...
May be I should ask Henri to come with me... or Sylvia. I think Sylvia is slightly lesbian... She does not show it... Some day I should go ahead and make a try for it...
VIII
Excepts from a tape recording of professor Alcan.
May 1st 17.30 hour. During the visit of Mrs J. D...
...No... Leave me alone... Help... (Then a cry, hardly human of a young girl being raped and the panting breathing of her assailant...) Oh... my belly... it hurts...
(Voice of Professor Alcan:)
"No it does not hurt any more now... Your pain is disappearing... you can feel it disappear the hot column of flesh in your belly is now feeling good... Your little button is tickling you... Relax, let that huge dick penetrate your vagina... Then it will inundate it with hot spurts of sperm... Feel how good it is now... do you feel it?... tell me now... Is it good?..."
Voice of Jacqueline..., weak
"Yes, Oh yes it is good... oh my little cunt wants to enjoy it some more..."
"Your really enjoy this don't you little vicious?... Open well your legs then and feel the prick get deep in your cunt... Come on... Do you feel it real good now...? How is it?... any better than caressing yourself while you are alone?...-(voice of Mrs. J. D.,)
Oh yes... Now I am a full woman making love... I am being fucked the way my mother was... It is so good... I can feel thos big balls against my buttocks and it is so good... I want all the gunk you can give mc... Let me have it I want it all...
The voices stop and the only sounds to be heard are those of the mattress squeaking faster and faster and also of the two panting people on it... The voice of Professor Alcan is heard again...
"Now wasn't that good?... You see you must never believe all that is told about rape... Besides, you were not really raped... You consented and you had been waiting to be made love to for quite a while..."
(Voice of the patient:)
"Yes... And now I feel good and will do it again..."
"Yes you will do it again, you will forever be in love with men's dicks... You will grab them and stick them yourself in your hungry pussy... You will suck it... You will have it stuffed in your ass... You will see how good it is for a nice girl like you to have a prick stuffed in your cunt... Do you want to try now?..."
"Oh yes... Let me have it. big and huge and in my ass..."
(Voice of the professor in a distance...)
"Go right ahead and bugger her like a queen."
"And the vaseline?..."
"You won't need it, the passage has been cleared before, it will go in without problems..."
* * *
Second except of the same tape:
"You see... You even like to be cornholed. bitch... Now you are going to wake up and the only thing that you will remember of that rape will be the pleasure that you felt when it happened... Never more will you feel the desire to kill the male who makes love to you... Besides there are sa many women who dream day and night to be razed, and so few who really get it, both ways, like you just did... Now you don't regret anything little Jacqueline do you?..."
"No I don't regret anything..."
(Voice of the arab assistant... sort of caustic: neither do I.)
May 2, 1963.
It is now for my personnal pleasure and no longer at Professor Alcan's request that I am writing this diary. Yesterday I was really sort of worried at the prospect of going to his place alone... But I did not carry on my original idea of asking Henri or Sylvia to come with me at the last moment... After all I don't think that I have to regret anything. The beginning of the session was sort of painful. First of all the Professor induced an hypnotic sleep and after blindfolding me he made me turn around as we used to do to one another when we were children, and then he removed the blindfold. I did not know where I was... I heard screams in arab, fire reports, a whole reconstitution of the sound structure of that fateful night of 1955... I felt someone handling me and tearing at my lingerie then hands were on my sex and I was propped on a table, lying down... My legs were parted and a huge prick was edging its way in my cunt... I did not struggle for a long time and suddenly I began to enjoy it tremendously... Then after a while another male took me from behind and I enjoyed that even better... The professor told me that I enjoyed the whole affair more than anyone he had ever seen under the same circumstances... As he told me so at the end of the sessions I could see his dirty little yes still shining with lubricity... I know that he himself played the part of my tormentor, but I also know that there was someone else I must admit that I would not have minded at all being raped by a whole squadron of cossacks on the contrary, a bitch I am, and that I will remain...
As a matter of fact I would love to make love now with one or more than one man, just to see if I will desire to kill him when I will come. Mai 6.
I have been forced to be "good" for a few days... It is that time of the month again... When I say good, I am not being absolutely fair for I masturbated again this morning while looking at the illustrations of the dirty book my husband had given Therese. Therese, and the young maid in the a count... Now I know for sure that my husband gave her the book with the strong intention of taking her at a later date. That was also a rape... As a matter of fact so well described that I can hardly resist the pleasure of reading the account to myself another time.
"...The next evening, after much sucking and cajoling of my cock by the erstwhile proud Alexandra, I felt so hard and erected that no hymen would have resisted me...
"Before we make love darling, I would like very much to rape that silly little maid of yours in front of you... I am quite sure that you will enjoy the show, besides I will even ask you to participate..."
"I will do whatever yeu desire..."
She immediately rang the bell for Hortense. The maid was blushing, merely to think about what we had in stor for her (and she was far from knowing everything.). Alexandra was dressed in a flimsy peignoir that, enhanced instead of concealing the charms of her bountiful anatomy.
I was entirely naked, my prick still glistening with the saliva that Alexandra had just lathered all over it a few moments before..."
"Undress girl... said Alexandra.
"Yes Ma'am..."
Once naked. Hortense allowed herself to be placed across the bed, her legs dandling down and maintained parted by Alexandra while I was working at the preliminaries. I knelt in front of the girl's cunt. I even took the trouble to put my glasses on for I did not want to miss a single pleasure. The contemplation of that thin wall of flesh that I was going to ravish very soon gave me more than my share of pleasures in anticipation. The lips of her sex were pink and pretty. The hair not too abondant and silky... Her Httle clitoris perked up the moment my finger touched it. If I intende to rape the girl, and therefore bring upon her a certain amount of physical pain, I did not intend not to behave like a gentleman an certainly meant to let her enjoy to the fullest that first incursion in the world of flesh. I softly fingered the walls of her virgin sex and immediately could see the fluids abundantly lubricating the walls... Then I placed my mouth against her open sex. It had a pungent smell for the maid did not have apparently as strict hygiene rules as her beautiful aristocratic mistress. Yet I did not mind it. After the very first tonguings she came in my mouth and I kept the fluids there, then kissed Alexandra on the mouth and gave her what her servant had just deposited in my mouth. Then I told her:
"Hortense already came once... You can still see how wet her pussy is. But I want you to keep the lips well parted so that my prick will have no problems entering and finding the right spot at the firts attempts."
Then I get to work... I must admit that the first resistance of the hymen were harden than I had expected.
I even began to believe that it was going to be more difficult to get through the natural door than it had been the day before to go through the rear entrance. Hortense is crispated and her face contorted half with the real pain and half with the apprehension of what is to come. I lift her buttocks lightly while Alexandra is pointing my dick towards her cunt and keeping the lips parted. I lean onto Hortense and press my lips to hers not only to kiss her but also to smother her cries. Her mistress is holding her thighs apart. I am pushing vigorously... I can feel the resistance subsiding... the little wall is cracking... That's it, now my penis is slowly penetrating... Deeper and deeper... Finally it is entirely inside and I can feel the bottom of her cunt against the head of my prick. Hortense was twisting in pain, and had just bitten me to the blood but now that the shuttle of my organ was more regular and did not encounter any resistance she began to react differently. Hortense is beginning to come... I add to her pleasure by thrusting my finger in her asshole... She comes violently and with such strong spasms that I fear for a second that she will actually slip out of my arms. As I keep on and am myself nearing my climax, the little girl suddenly opens her eyes and tears herself away from me...
"No sir, please, not in me... I do not want to be pregnant..."
I do not want to ask too much of her and I finally withdraw myself... Her slit is covered with blood and some more is still oozing out... Alexandra is bending over her and says to me:
"My lord, how martyrized the poor child is... We must take care of her..."
"Believe me, she enjoyed it... But myself, in spite of all that I deserve from removing that annoying little detail from you maid's cunt, I have not received my pleasure. So now, my sweet, kneel down..."
I would not go as far as saying that she was eager to suck my dick and clean the juices and the blood from it. but she pumped it conscienciously...
Finally release came for me and my sperm came in her throat in hot and abundant spurts that she swallowed to the last drop. Then she went to the bathroom with Hortense while I remained happily spreadeagled on the bed, my dick slowly returning to his more restful position...
Once again I looked at the more than libertine engravings that graced the pages of the book and promised myself to give it back to my husband personnally. Then the more I was thinking about it, the more the idea of having Therese raped in front of me by my husband appealed to me.
IX
Mag 9.
I was the other morning on the verge of going out when my good friend Sylvia called on me... Il was dressed and I had already packed my little suitcase as I always do when I go for that kind of expedition. When I told her of my travelling intentions Sylvia begged me to take her with me. I was not too enthusiastic but I changed my mind when she said:
"I know a little place in the country where we could spend the day... It is not too far from Paris, a very cozy little inn. Do you see the kind I am talking about?..."
"Well... yes and no..."
"Good, anyway I will explain everything my little Jacqueline. First of all I must admit that I've wanted to go there for quite a while, but alone. I never dared..."
About fifteen minutes later I was climbing the stairs of Sylvia's house. I was quite surprised to see that Sylvia was not alone. She introduced me to a very distinguished gentleman. He looked at me with such insistance that any other woman would have found it out of place... Looking at me, Sylvia said:
"If you seen no inconveniency to it, M. S... could come with us..."
The man was attractive and I could tell from the way Sylvia was looking at me that she had expected for me to come at the right moment in some sort of escapade... II agreed. Under the pretense of going to fix her luggage, Sylvia left me alone with the Roland in question. He found me attractive and immediately took my lips that I gladly abandonned him. He was insinuating his leg between my thighs and I could fully well feel the bulging muscles of his leg and the fact that he already had a hard-on. With that sort of introduction our little trio left and went ahead with its adventure.
We arrived at dusk in the little inn that had been described by Sylvia over the phone. We were welcome by a pleasant and planturous redhead whose jewelry was more a reminder of the old fashion madam than of a keeper for family-style boarding house...
Sylvia, to my surprise said:
"We will each take a separate room."
I really did not understand too well, specially considering that during the trip, Roland had not hesitated petting both of us, and even simultaneously. He had even had the gall of slipping a hand under Sylvia's skirt and masturbated her without any shame... II let my hand steal away from the steering wheel and go to the bump of his pants. I considered then that what made him so distinguished was a pretty exceptionnal apendage... I wondered of he was Sylvia's regular lover... Probably so, and yet she had not demonstrated any sign of jealousy when I had caressed him and even when he had placed his hand inside my blouse. He casually caressed my breasts.
The room I was given was more than comfortable. Ample space and nice enough furniture. The style however was extremely curious. First of all there were mirrors all over the place. The walls were covered, and even on the ceiling, smack above the spacious bed, there was a huge mirror facing down. There was no doubting as to what kind of activities were conducted there. As I was slipping into something more cozy, I heard someone knocking at the door.
"Who's there?..."
The only answer was that the door, that I forgotten to bolt, opened, and in came Roland.
"I hope that I am not disturbing you?..."
"No, not at all... As a matter of fact you are arriving exactly as the right moment... I would love to hear some fast explanations of the reasons for which you and Sylvia have attracted me in this more that dubious place..."
"There is no real hurry... We are simply in one of these houses where there are no objection raised to shared loves..."
"I see, so you and Sylvia thought that you could attract me into a whorehouse and get away with it..."
"No. This is no real whorehouse... The place is simply sort of a meeting place for ex-patients of Dr. Alcan..."
"Alcan?..."
"Yes... I know that you have been there. Sylvia told me so."
"It must not have been difficult to find out, she sent me there herself... And as a matter of fact, she, probably had herself attended to by Alcan..."
"You mean that she had never told you so?"
No, to this date, Sylvia was not in the habit of making that kind of confidences to me...
"Well she was not that restrained with me... I know more about you. I know that you are quite vicious, that you cheat on your husband, and that you slept with the young brother of our friend Sylvia..."
"How do you know that?..."
"By Sylvia herself who occasionally sleeps with her own brother..."
I could hardly believe it... And all this time I had thought that Sylvia was sort of a cold fish, without any sensual problems... I really could not believe it...
X
"And I personally want you madly..." said Roland.
He was dressed in a plaid bathrobe, lifted by his virility like a tent by a mast. There was now no possibility of a doubt left me as to what his feelings were for me.
"Come on... Roland, you cannot be serious, besides you are Sylvia's lover, and she is one of my good friends... I would not want anything like it..."
"Sylvia is cheating on me, at the very moment... So why should we refuse pleasure when it presents it to us?..."
His voice was now passionate and harsh... He was already acting like a lover... His voice was a perfect enactment of a man really in love... I would have easily fallen for it, had not the surroundings been more apt to encourage parties and illicit purely vicious love than a real attraction. He was holding me extremely close now, and had already gotten rid of the travel coat that I had hastily placed on my shoulders when he had entered the room. We were still standing, one against the other... I was not trying to resist any more, at that moment. I was finding again all the desires that lovers have for one another when the moment of truth approaches... I responded to Roland's kiss .. Our tongues mingled, and our salivas mixed... To catch his breath he left my lips and his mouth came to rest at the hollow of my neck... He whispered in my ear:
"You feel how hard I become for you... Feel how warm... It is all yours..."
Through the thin material of his bathrobe I could feel the moving contact of that throbbing flesh against my belly... I wish Roland could have guessed my thoughtd... It was still too early in the game for me to bring my hand against the fly of his pants... I could imagine the beauty of his tool... The finest I thought in advance, the finest that I had ever chanced upon... Already his hands were trailing back to the small of my back... There new fires were burning... I felt as if rejutenated... As if love all over had regained its novelty... I was thinking: I love you. I am all wet, I can feel your hard dick against my belly. I love you so dearly... Roland fuck me, now and good... Please... But I was not saying anything... I was merely staying there, shibering under the action of his insidious hands that were now under the slip and sliping ever lower... The fingers tugged at the rubber band of my flimsy panties, and then I felt the cold air against my buttocks... The gauzy material brushed down past my knees... Then the fingers inserted themselves between the two hemispheres... I was thinking about Sylvia, and now, as a curious twist of feelings suddenly took place in me, I was feeling jealous that she, before me. had felt the might and at the same time the excruciating pleasure of being possessed by that male.
In one last futile effort. I attempted to avoid the caress... But Roland instinctively had found the weakest point of my body and his finger was now drilling, not my excited clitoris, as the norm would have demanded, but the narrow puckered mouth... His hand left my ass only when it bad been so excited that I could hardly take it one more minute... Then his hands came to my sex, and to my little button... I pante immediately...
"A aah... How wet you are... I know that you want to be screwed... I know that you want me in your cun... Wait till I put my dick in your cunt... You will love that big sausage, you will adore it... Tell me that you want to be fucked..."
"Oh yes... Roland please screw me now..."
If I had dared I would have asked to be cornholed first...
"But yes darling, I am going to take you... But you really are too impatient and you should know that it counts even more to know how to wait and delay your passion than to satisfy them right away..."
All the while he had introduced his forefinger in my vagina and his caresses coupled with his words were absolutely driving me out of my mind... He was now masturbating me deeply.
"Oh no... darling, not like this... Please take me for good... don't finger me..."
In one fast move that he did not expect I suceeded in moving away from him and tried to get hold of that magnificent staff. Roland let me go, and then he looked at me...
"How beautiful you are... Strangely enough he seemed to have entirely regained control over himself ...
I assumed the most provocative poses, and Roland using all the mirrors in the room could almost simultaneously see all the sides of my body... I could not keep it any longer and I let myself fall on the bed. touching myself... Roland was now standing almost above me. motionless... In one leap I found myself level with his loins... with deft fingers I opened the sides of his bathrobe... His fully erected penis was a pure masterpiece... The glans alone would have filled easily the mouth of the greedy kid I used to be... It was slightly swollen and protuberant... The staff itself was perfect... and the balls nice and round... I took hold his balls and weighed them in my cupped fingers...
"All that is for you and you can believe it, they are full..."
"I can see that Sylvia has not had time to empty them..."
"Certainly not today, I told you before that Sylvia is now making love to someone else..."
"Well, what are you waiting for to do the same?..."
As he did not seem to answer right away I took the beautiful thing in my hand and after uncovering the head I brought the Cyclopean head close to my lips... My tongue started slowly, then traveled the length of the tool... and slowly went down...
"His muscles were hardly quivering and yet I knew that each tongumg was bringing him a little closer to pleasure... He was panting... If I had continued be would have let go of all his sperm... But that was absolutely out of the question... I would not have minded, but I wished to be screwed or cornholed first... My hand left his dick and then ostensibly, in front of him I masturbated slowly...
Suddenly he tore himself away from me...
Now is the time... and I opened my thighs widely so tha he would penetrate me easily my cunt was coming ahead, trying to meet his spearhead...
But he obviously had other ideas, he knelt between my legs and suddenly I felt two fingers thrusted simultaneously in my asshole...
I had of course no painful reaction and he seemed surprised...
"Didn't I hurt you?..."
"No, not at all, on the contrary, continue. I adore it..."
He realized in no time that I was in fact quite receptive in that part of my body.
"So you like to have pour ass screwed heh?... well trust me. that will happen... said Roland, completely forgetting that till then he had shown himself very polite.
His fingers doubled their activity... now another one came in... This perverted exploration of my anatomy was unbelievably exciting to me... Then he brought his face to my dripping sex and his tongue drilled the center of my pleasure... The conjugation of both caresses was too much. Roland was swallowing everything, he was litterally drinking me up... I was nothing but a sex-maddened female, entirely abandonned to my lust... I closed my eyes, and whenever I opened them again I could see the multipele reflections of my body... My thighs spread*, and my cunt devoured by a nacked man... I came a hundred times but now I was waiting for the real possession... I was imploring:
"OH Roland, please now... take me... I want hou in me... deep, your dick... now... fuck me with your beautiful prick, so warm and so alive..."
But Roland was firmly holding my thighs and his head was encased between the two pillars of flesh... juices dripping along my legs... When I was in the most shameful position the door opened... To my stupefaction I recognized the giant negro who had taken care of our luggage when we had checked in... and my stupefaction increased when I saw that he was not alone... right behind him was my friend Sylvia, and behind her the redhead owner of the place...
The shock of being surprised while my cunt was sucked by a man whom I had met a few hours earlier and whose fingers were eagerly drilling my ass cut all my inspiration... I was scared, fearing I do not know what type reactions to my abandon. I was trying to free myself, but that was in vain... My tongue could not articulate the warning to Roland still prisonner of my thighs and still drilling at my flesh. Our hostess closed the door behind her and Sylvia leaned against the wall... She brought one finger to her lips and smiled at me... I heard the redhead tell the negro authoritatively: "Now..."
'Yes Ma'am... Who's Hrts?..." "The customer of course... That's what's he paid for..."
I was still trying to fight my way off... I even succeeded in crying out:
"Roland! Roland! There is someone in the room... Stop..."
But Roland was not paying any attention to what I was saying... He went right on, slowly the negro removed his jacket, and slowly he unbutonned his shirt...
What was going to happen?... Had we gone to far even for what was allowed in that strange inn?... But what was Sylvia doing there?... Was it just a proof of her jealousy because I was vith her lover?...
She was leaning against the side of the door and was contemplating a show that something kept telling me that she herself had prepared... I was expecting to be torn away from Roland, for, contrarily to Sylvia, the hostess was not smiling at all. I must say that she even looked slightly scandalized by our hehaviour... What followed was not at all what I had expected... I am still too exhausted to write it now. may be tomorrow... If I can muster the courage to do so... May 10.
I was just closing the book in which I had begun to write what had happened on the 7 when Sylvia entered the room. She asked me if was angry at her having taken me into that adventure... My only answer was a long kiss on the mouth and that tells enough of what rancor I was still capable. Sylvia stayed in my bed till midnight and we behaved like abominable dikes... with Therese.
But this is another story and I am now returning to the events of the other day. While I was waiting for some kind of remonstance. the negro very calmly came to the bed where Roland was still eating me up. Then he began peeling off his pants, and his underpants. His prick was also a magnificent piece of art. but it was at least twice normal size of anything human I hed ever seen. I could not believe my eyes but I was already relieved at the new turn taken by the situation... As Roland did not seem to eager to screw me, I saw no inconvenient to being screwed by the negro... But his mistress had just said to him to "take care of the customer..." Mamadou (that was his name) did not hesitate an eitheir second and spat in his hands. Then he annointed with his saliva the glans of his prick that seemed circumcized. Then he came behinb Roland, and with un grunt thrusted himself in his ass. I thought that under the pain of the sudden penetration Roland wat at least goging to try to free himself from my thighs... Not at all... He lifted his head and hardly said "ouch..." Then he resumed his position and with renewed ardor ate me up... Each motion of the negro was being transmitted to my own body as it went through Roland's. I resigned myself to these events for I realized that Roland himself had arranger them... His vice was probably to be screwed by a huge bastard while sucking a whore...
Pleasure took a hold of me again, it was now delicious, specially after the fears I had had when Mamadou entered the room. II reached the highest peaks of ecstasy with the most violent thrusts from the negro...
(I must not know that even when I repeatedly came under these assaults, I did not have any of the fears and desires for murder that had prompted me to place myself under Alcan's treatment.)
When I came down to earth again I realized that the fat redhead had gone. Sylvia was now entirely naked... Naked, her eyes shining with erotic fever, Sylvia had followed all the events was still glued to me... II could tell that he was going to come again, sucked me at the perfect beat imprinted into him by Mamadou's prick.
Sylvia came by the bed... She was standing up, her hand between her spread thighs. Her cunt was shaded with a little duff of ash blond hair... II could see from where I was the details of her sex and the little clit, all red and congested, looking like a little wild strawberry, titching under the finger...
"Sylvia darling, stop fingering yourself and come on me..."
While I said that my tongue pointed at her and in an unequivocal motion indicated what I was offering her...
"Really darling?... You don't mind sucking me the way Roland does it to you now?"
"I am dying to do it... You are so pretty... I have wanted for such a long time to ask you to do all the things that I want to do with you..."
"You just don't know what you are opening yourself for..."
"Quick... come on me..."
Without any further ado. Sylvia came up to my face and straddled my body... then she started touching my nipples while her sex was adjusting itself to my face... The scent of her cunt and her little ass were driving me out of my mind... I knew that I would be better than Roland in the art of sucking a woman... It is normal... A woman is better than any man in that kind of caresses, and I have even heard that no woman will ever be able to attein such perfection in sucking a man as another man to his homosexual partner... Each sex knows better the perfect points of pleasure of its own sex. The moment my tongue, my whole mouth, took possession of her sex, Sylvia began showing all the signs of the most demented pleasure. Her cunt, cool outside and burning inside, was oozing continually... Then in a few spasms she came violently and a violent discharge landed in my mouth... Momentarily appeased. Sylvia leaned forward and tried to grab Roland by the shoulders... The negro understood what she wanted, and, placing himself higher on the bed. spread her lover's buttocks. You could easily see the black dick shuttling in and out of the narrow sheath... Sylvia started licking at the flesh and then the four of us got really together. Mamadou was cornh'oling Roland. Roland was eating me up and was being sucked by Sylvia while I reciprocated to her what her lover was doing to me. It became absolutely frantic... Roland was twisting as if he had been the victime from a series of electrical shocks... I saw that he was going to come and tried to move away from Sylvia, but she did not intend it so. His sperm landed in her throat and she swallowed it to the last drop while Mamadou with a tremendous roar ejaculated in Roland's ass... It was a perfect chain reaction and Sylvia and I came together... The four of us collapsed on the soiled bed and for a while nothing happened. The first to move was Mamadou. He just sat there. His huge prick was now soft and hanging down. Its color had not changed much but the pleated skin around the glans was now a much darker black.
Then the door opened and the redhead appeared again...
"Was everything satisfactory?..."
"Very well Ma'am, answered Mamadou, everyone came all right..."
"Good, well, she sair looking at me, I hope that these appetizers have been the right things..."
"Appetizers indeed, said I, quite relaxed... And I added for the two males who after all had not deigned to screw or cornhole me... I still have some appetite left..."
"Me too," said Sylvia...
Then, to my surprise, she leaned towards the negro and with an agile tongue started to revive his languish ing penis... She licked his tremendous balls, about the size of those of a bull, I was slightly dazed but, unwilling to be left behind, I did the same thing to Roland... I took an extra pleasure in licking his asshole where the negro's sperm was still dripping...
The hostess was contemplating the whole affair without any apparent emotion, then she left saying, dinner will be served in an hour... You still have some time to enjoy yourselves if you feel like it... I will have so reconstituant cocktails sent to you...
A few minutes later someone knocked at the door.
"Come in, said the negro, his pants on, while we were all trying to hide under the wrinkled sheets. A young waiter, effeminate, brought in a tray of drinks with some ice cubes. We took a break and Sylvia and I talked of various things..."
"You are not angry at me?..."
"My only reproach is that you did not tell me any sooner..."
"Well, you see, at first I was afraid that you would have done something stupid. You could have killed someone when you were still feeling the way you were before your cure at Alcan... But now that I know that it is all over..."
"How do you know that?..."
"Alcan called me the other day, and told me that you were completely cured..."
"So you too had been cured by Alcan?..."
"Yes, but not for the same thing... I could not have an orgasm. That is except with my brother.
I have always been in love with him. I know that between the two of you... Well I am not jealous anymore..."
While we were talking together, Roland and Mamadou, who had finished their drink, seemed to be half asleep, and curiously enough were doing so tenderly intermingled in like lovers after a long joust.
"Is Roland queer?..."
"Well it depends..."
"What do you mean?..."
"Well you see, it is a little like me. sometimes I feel lesbian... but I always like to make normal love to one man..."
"Or more than one..." said I while casually caressing the magnificent bosom of Sylvia.
"Shit... you too little vicious..."
She kissed me for a long time, her tongue darting in my mouth and her hand comin between my legs...
"Well anywoy, these ten of ours do not seem to be able to satisfy us in any other form than by sucking us..."
"Don't let it fool you. said Sylvia. I know Mamadou quite well, he can make love to a woman as divinely as he can screw a man..."
"I have never been screwed by a negro and I think that I might enjoy it, but right now..."
"Don't worry. I know how to wake those two lazy bums..."
Sylvia extended her leg and with her toes started to caress the tip of the flaccid prick of the negro. I did the same thing with Roland. We were having a ball comparing to the white and the black flesh together... When the two pricks had reigained a more agressive composure Roland opened one eye and asked: "You want some more?..."
Mamadou kept playing dead, yet his prick had resumed quite an imposing aspect. The head of his prick looked like a mushroom whose stem would have grown suddenly...
"I feel in perfect shape after that little rest, said Roland, again perfect gentleman."
His hand went to explore between Sylvia's legs. She had no qualms about it and opened herself like an oyster. Soon she was sighing again under the clever ministrations of her lover's hands.
"Please, place yourself a little higher, said Sylvia to me, I am dying of desire to kiss you elsewhere than on the lips. My legs was already extended and I only had to lift myself to feel Sylvia's mouth on my cunt. She parted the lips with her mouth and began tickling the clitoris with the tip of her fingernail... It was at the same time irritating and delicious and soon my own sighs were mixed with those of Sylvia; Roland now had dipped his head where his fingers had been. Sylvia had thrusted her forefinger in my vagina and her medius in my asshole. Thus taken from all sides I felt my feminity coming ablaze again. Once again I was the prey of my erotic delirium. Sylvia could easily realize the way I was feeling when she herself was submitting to the same treatment... Yet all these pleasures did not satisfy me fully I wanted a cock, and I wanter it then and there."
"Roland, fuck me. corhnole me. anything you want, but take me... you promised..."
Roland instead was entirely occupied by Sylvia... the bitch did not leave him any choice. Then she turned around and winked at me as I was looking in the direction of Mamadou.
"Go ahead, he really is worth it..."'
"But he is going to destroy me completely..."
"Not at all... I have made love to him more than once and as you can easily see I am far from dead..."
"And besides, he is really fantastic, he can screw for hours on, and even ejaculate twice without losing any of his tonus..."
Well who could resist such arguments, specially considering that I am perfectly free from racial prejudice... I helped Mamadou out of his trousers... Then, shivering with ecstatic anticipation I took hold of that magnificent prick... It really was colossal... It had a peculiar scent, stronger than that of a white man... And I could now understand the greed with which Sylvia had licked that magnificent flag pole when Mamadou had withdrawn from Roland's ass. Feeling the pressure of my mouth around his dick, the negro opened his eyes. He lifted himself slightly on the elbows and said:
"You're cute, go on..."
"I don't mind, but after that you will love me?..." "Sure honey..."
Then I straddled Mamadou, my things well open and my yawning cunt exactly lelew with his face.v His eyes were rolling, big as doorknobs when he stared right into my sex...
"Yes you are beautiful, you have a wonderful cunt... You don't want me to lick it?..."
"No. enough appetizers. I want your dick... and now..."
As I said these last words I turned around and arching my back offered myself to the magnificent piece of flesh... But at the precis moment when I was finally going to get it Sylvia came out of nowhere and grabbed the pole of flesh and said:
"You'll get Mamadou when you are told... Meanwhile wait till we are all in the right position... Don't me angry, in a minute you will thank me..."
Sylvia grabbed a huge pillow and placed it under my loins... Then another... My body was now extended like a bow... Then she placed herself right above my now upturned head... I immediately went back to work on the dripping little cunt and found with pleasure the smell of her juices flooding my nostrils... I heard Sylvia telling Roland:
"Darling. I let you be screwed by Mamadou, I know you love it, but now I want you to repay me for that favor, and the same way... I want your prick in my little hole... And do not fear to hurt me...
I was so mad at the bitch that I bit her clitoris...
Roland immediately complied to her request... I could guess the precision with which he was now aiming at the narrow gate... His testicles, still well filled, were now again jolted against my forehead.
"Aaaah... It is so gooood... To be screwed in the ass while your cunt is being eaten off... Oooh..."
I was going to move away when I heard Sylvia say:
"Now Mamadou, you can go ahead, let her have it..."
The way I was placed was deal for the most complete possession and Sylvia abandonned me and sank in the total volupty of the double ministration she was suffering. Mamadou was proceeding with a subtlety and a gentleness that I had hardly expected in a man his size... He first rubbed the glans against the wet lips of my sex and then slowly introduced it in the vagina... He pushed and I could feel that I was more distinded than I had never been before, but yet it was not hurting me... Finally he took me entirely and I did not hurt any more than I had ever with Francis, my husband... or Henri... Sylvia had not lied to me when she had said that I was going to be spoiled by the negro... He revealed to me higher possibilities of pleasures than I had ever had. It is so true that even today, leaning on my pencil to try to describe it I cannot find the adequate words to express myself. My belly was the center of a Maelstrom of sensations that irradiated my whole body all the way to my erected nipples throbbing under Mamadou's lips... When you think that some women are satisfied with a quick go at it on Saturday nights or Sunday mornings from their husbands, and they look disgusted when you talk to them about a huge negro... I advise them to try it sometimes, and they will change their mind... I guarantee it. They ought to try a champion like Mamadou and then could try to compare it with their small time casanovas.
I resume this account momentarily interrupted by a phone call from my husband. He is in Lyons and announced his return for tomorrow night... I just got an idea, I will ask Therese to stay home in spite of the fact that it is her day off and then is she is really kind to Jean I will give her a nice augmentation...
To return to Mamadou, while he was fucking me I wanted him to come in me, and I started caressing his balls... He told me:
"Stay quiet and let me work, it will be better..."
He moved almost entirely out of my sex at the moment when I wanted it the most and then returned into it brutally then did it again... I do not konw how many times he proceed thusly but it was delicious and excruciating at the same time. Every time that his prick was hitting the bottom of my cunt I screamed my joy and twisted in new heghts of pleasure... My nails were racking the skin of his back. I was no longer mistress of my own emotions... Finally his arms tightened around me and I thought that my ribcage was going to explode... Then he came in a series of violent spurts of warm sperm that I felt flooding the deepest part of my cunt... I was still shiverring when his dick, now beginning to relax, slowly slipped out of my satisfied sex.
When I regained consciousness I realized that my mouth was filled with a mixture of hair, fluids and some blood, for during the whole session with Mamadou I had not for o moment stopped to suck and bite at Sylvia's cunt... She had come at the same time I had, under the double influence of Roland's dick in her ass. shuttling furiously and my tongue and teeth... We again collapsed on the bed, and I spat out what was enculbering my mouth... Sylvia's eyes were dark rimmed and filled tears... I could guess why...
"Poor darling, I am sorry, I must have really hurt you?..."
"Yes... At one time I even felt that you were going to cut my little button off and I was plump scared. You konw why?..."
"Yes, but I can assure you that I never had the slightest murderous intent during the whole affair. I just bit you because I could not control my spasms..."
"I folgive you... It is the first time that it happens to me with a too impatient partner..."
Then ske kissed me and looked at me:
"My God, your eyes... I was right wasn't?... Mamadou is really exceptionnal..."
"It was unbelievable... I could not imagine it possible..."
We came home at dawn... Roland was absolutely dead... Sylvia was walking as if she had been on horseback for a week, and I could hardly even walk myself. We ended the adventure at the Halles with an onion soup... red wines and calvados liquor... One thing is annoying me... Jean will soon be back and I have no intention, but no intention at all to do anything with him... But it is true that Therese will be there...
