TABLE OF CONTENTS Introduction CHAPTER ONE Tom: Incest and the Adolescent Male CHAPTER TWO Laura: My Child, the Slave CHAPTER THREE Toni: Incest and the Adolescent Teaser CHAPTER FOUR Joan and Jimmy: Incestuous Sadism CHAPTER FIVE Judy and Mike: Outlaw Sex Conclusion Appendix Bibliography
INTRODUCTION
"For a whole year before that first night, Daddy had got into the habit of walking around the trailer bare-assed naked. He'd even sit at the table naked when we ate. I can remember that big cock of his hanging down. I never said anything, but I sure was curious. Especially with the noises that came from his bed almost every night. He fucked just about any woman who wanted it, though most of them were ugly as sin. At least to me they were.
"You see, Mom died about three years ago, and since then we've been traveling in a trailer. We go from job to job, because Daddy's in the construction business. It plays hell with my school, but it's fun. And Daddy doesn't ever intend to get married again-he's got too many women waiting for him wherever he goes.
"Dad is a really good-looking man, and he isn't old. I'm fifteen now, but he's only thirty-two. He was fucking the shit out of my mother for six months before she got pregnant and then, bam, suddenly he had a kid-me-and a wife. I don't think he particularly liked the idea, but he lived with it.
"And now, he says, he's 'really living.' Living for sex, I'd say, and just about anything goes. Even me.
"As I said, he had me curious about that cock of his. I was only fourteen when he started in on his habit of parading around buck-assed naked, but I was a good-looking fourteen, even if I say so myself. I had a pair of tits that were good-small but good. And a fine figure. Sort of slender, but nice.
"After a couple of weeks watching him move around the trailer without a stitch on, that big prick swinging in the breeze, I took to matching him-nude for nude. But I wasn't as brazen as he was. I'd just sort of let him watch when I got undressed for bed, or in the morning when I was getting up. I even took to sleeping in the raw, like he did, so that every morning, along with his orange juice, he had a fine, fresh, sexy little body to watch. And it was a naked body. I made sure of that.
"Of course, I didn't know what this would lead to, and if I had I sure as hell wouldn't have played his game. But I was young and anxious to please. You see, I guess that basically my love for Daddy was more than a daughter's should be. I mean he turned me on. And I guess most of that was the result of my girl friends, who all seemed to go gaga whenever he was around them. Like this one girl friend I had when we were living near Raleigh. She told me she'd lay down on her back for my dad, anytime he wanted. You know, that kind of talk turned me on, and so did my dad.
"I talk sort of adult-like, but when it comes right down to what I'd done in the way of sex, I was really green. Sure, I'd had petting sessions with a couple of boys, and even let them finger-fuck me every once in a while, but none of them really turned me on. I blew a guy once, but that was kinda disgusting, so I won't talk about that.
"Anyway, along about March of this year, things began moving fast at the trailer. I can remember that first night as clear as anything. I was in bed-naked like always-when Daddy came home from a. night on the town. He must really have tied one on because I could hear him stumbling and tripping over everything in the trailer. That's one of the worst things about living in one of those damned trailers: There's no room.
"I had a night light on next to the bed-very weak. I only kept it on in case I had to get up in the middle of the night. With the light at least you could see outlines of things. And not break your neck falling over the kitchen table.
"I was awake but pretended to be asleep. I don't know why. I guess I just liked looking at Daddy when he didn't know I was looking. I saw him sort of stumble into the back of the trailer where his bed was, then flick on a light. I squinted my eyes and watched him strip off his clothes. He had a tremendous looking body. From all that hard work on construction, I guess.
"I was still watching him when he turned around and faced me. It wasn't intentional on his part-he didn't know I was watching-but when he turned I saw he had a tremendous hard-on. His big prick was sticking straight up in the air, almost touching his belly. When I saw that, I felt this warm feeling go all the way through my body. Damn, he was so beautiful.
"I watched some more. He moved his hand down to his cock and wrapped his big mitt around it, then he moved his hand up and down a couple of times, jacking off. I knew that. I'd watched some boys doing it. But Daddy didn't finish himself off like they had. He was just feeling himself up, I guess. Because after just a little while and after a few more jerks on his pecker, he sighed and headed towards the bathroom.
"To get to the bathroom he had to come almost next to where I was sleeping. As soon as he got close, I let out a sigh, you know, like I was sound asleep, and then I turned on my back and settled down. I did it deliberately. I wanted him to be aware of me.
"He heard me alright and he stood with his hand on the doorknob of the bathroom for a long time. He just stared at me. I could feel him looking at me, although I had my eyes closed tight by this time. Then I heard him walking over towards me. He sat down on the side of the bed. The bed is narrow so I felt his thigh pressing against mine. That got me all the more excited. I don't know what I expected to happen, but I was disappointed when nothing did.
"It wasn't until later that things really did start happening.
"Daddy had been drinking a lot since we'd gotten to Houston. I don't know why, but whenever we were in Texas, he'd drink a lot. And then when we moved on, he'd slow down. I guess he was just trying to keep up with the big-talking, big-drinking Texans. Anyway, when Daddy got drunk he also got horny. Really horny. So horny that he'd fuck just about anything, I swear to God.
"One night he brought this kid home. It was a guy. And he couldn't have been a hell of a lot older than I was. I watched them in the back of the trailer. Daddy never did bother to close the sliding door anymore. He had that kid on his knees and made him suck on his cock until he poured his cream into the poor guy. Although I don't think Daddy was forcing him-the kid seemed to be enjoying himself too much. But that was the only time I'd ever seen Daddy do anything sort of 'queer.' I guess he'd just been hard-up that night and decided to take what was available.
"I'm telling all this, I mean about the queer sucking him off, not to make Daddy sound bad. I was just trying to show you how desperate he got sometimes for sex. He'd do just about anything.
"And then the night arrived when we had our first thing. God, I'll never forget it. It was wonderful, and even if he was my father, when he fucked me, when he stuck that big hard cock up into me, I thought it was the greatest thing that had ever happened to me.
"He was drunk when he walked into the trailer about 3:00 a.m., mumbling to himself like crazy. I heard him say things like, 'Stupid bitch' and 'Cock-teaser,' so I took it for granted that he had been leading one of the local belles along all night and she'd turned him down. Which didn't happen often.
"But anyway, he was hot as hell and ready to stick his prick into anything. I knew that. And knowing it excited me. He went through the routine again of getting undressed back by his bed, still mumbling, and then heading towards the bathroom. When he got close, I sighed again, only this time I moved around and shoved the sheet down a little. My tits were hanging out. I did it deliberately, so you can't put all the blame for what happened on Daddy. I didn't know what I was getting into, but I sure wasn't discouraging him.
"He stood at the door, just like that last time, and stared at me-more likely at my tits. Of course, they were pretty flat, what with me laying on my back, but I guess they still looked pretty good to him, 'cause he kept standing there and staring at me. And then all of a sudden he reached for his cock and started jacking himself off. It was hard and big in no time. Through my squinted eyes I could see that even his face was flushing up.
"I was really feeling all hot and excited by this time, so I sighed and moved around again. Damn, I was such a little whore. This time I managed to push that sheet down even farther, so that my pussy was showing. I had the prettiest little silken hairs there. Very light colored.
"But still Daddy didn't move. I squinted my eyes again and by now he was working on his pecker to beat the band. His fist was flying up and down on that rod. I watched him for only a couple of seconds, getting hotter all the time, feeling my pussy getting wet. Then I really moved on that bed. I still pretended to be asleep but I thrashed around until the sheet was completely off me and then I opened my legs wide. My cunt was open for the world to see. But I only wanted one person to look-Daddy-and he was getting a real eyeful.
"So you see, you can't blame Daddy for what happened. It really was more my fault. He walked over to the bed. I could see that his cock was about to shoot off. It was hard as steel and throbbing like an engine, jerking up and down. And it was red, redder than I've ever seen on any guy-
"He stood over the bed for a few seconds, and I closed my eyes, lest he'd see I was watching and get afraid. I didn't know what he was doing. But then he got on the floor beside the bed. I felt his hair brush my thigh, and then I felt-oh, shit, it was glorious-I felt his mouth sucking out on my pussy. Then his tongue slithered into my cunt. He ran his tongue around in circles, taking my clit between his teeth and biting it gently. Then he shoved his stiff tongue as far into my cunt as he could. I was so excited my cunt hairs were standing on end. I was moaning and moving around on that bed like I was crazy, which I probably was. It felt so wonderful.
"Then I felt Daddy's hands on my breasts, caressing them. His mouth trailed up my belly. I could feel his wet tongue running smoothly over my belly, into my belly button and up. Then he took my nipples between his teeth, flicking it with his tongue. The nipples were hard already and his mouth action sent me to the stars. Then he moved to my other tit, flicking, lapping, sucking. He caressed the other breast with his hand, and then slowly, so slowly that I almost went out of my mind, he slid his hand back down my belly and put his finger inside me.
"I couldn't help but groan with pleasure. I still had my eyes shut, but I wanted to open them. I wanted to see what he was doing to me, as well as feel it. But I was afraid if he knew I was awake he'd quit.
"He worked another finger into my pussy which was soaking wet by now. He took his fingers out and put them under my nose, letting me smell my own cunt juices. That really flipped me. Back went the hand. He shoved into me with three fingers now, stretching my cunt, getting it ready for his big cock. I knew that. But I didn't care. I wanted it inside me worse than anything in the world.
"Finally, after what seemed like an hour of his finger-fucking me, Daddy finally climbed up on the bed. He got between my legs. I looked quickly at him. He was staring down at my cunt, like he didn't know whether to go ahead or not. I arched my back, shoving my pussy up towards him. He was towering over me, his huge prick waving in the air. It was looking desperately for some place to shove itself.
"He was so turned on now, nothing would have stopped him. He put his cock up against my cunt and pushed gently. He got inside. There was no pain, just wonderful, wonderful pleasure. He pushed again. He was inside me farther. This time there was a little pain. He was stretching me wide apart. But I wanted that pain. I wanted anything that went along with his cock.
"And then suddenly, he shoved violently into me. His cock split me open, pushing into that virgin hole. I screamed out in pain, but he was too excited to care. He fucked my cunt like a madman. The pain stopped. It didn't last long. Suddenly, I really wanted to have his come in me. I twisted and swiveled my ass, taking as much of that cock as he could force into me. I felt that steel-hard rod plunging into my belly. Christ, he was in me so damned far. And then, after a wild few minutes, he groaned and plunged all the harder. He was getting close. He fucked my pussy with a speed that was unbelievable, causing me more pleasure than I'd ever had before. In and out, in and out. Christ, he was wonderful.
"Then he shouted. 'I'm coming, I'm coming!' and I felt, yeah, I actually felt, his hot, searing come slam against my insides. I just laid there and moaned and groaned and yelled as wave after wave of come flooded my insides. I had all of him now."
A father and daughter sexually united. Who, in this case, was to blame? Who was the seduced and who the seducer? There is neither a right nor wrong answer. The girl was to blame for leading her father on. The father was wrong in his flaunting of sex in front of the impressionable girl. Whoever had the greater fault is not important; the case history is an example of the least discussed and most overlooked sexual aberration: Incest.
If sociologists are correct, incest is much more prevalent than we would imagine. In fact, statistics indicate that incest is committed in this country every eighteen seconds. Thus it is a deviation we live with; it surrounds us, but yet we ignore it.
Why? Sociologists tell us there are two reasons for our apathy: first, the problem is most often a private, familial one, not involving outsiders; and secondly, the general public is so convinced of its own "civilized ways" that it is unwilling to acknowledge the bestial impulses that run through us all.
According to Freud, there is in all human beings a tendency unconsciously, if not consciously, to depart from conventional sexual relations as evidenced by his statement: "Probably there is no healthy person in whom there doesn't exist, at some time or other, some kind of supplement to his normal sexual activity, to which we should be justified in giving the name 'perversity.' "
Thus, perversion is in us all. It may take any form. To some married couples, oral-genital sex is a perversion. To others oral-genital stimulation is acceptable and even sought after, but they draw the line at analism. Perversion, then, is a relative thing. There are no universal norms.
But there is one area of sexual activity which is held in almost universal contempt. That practice is incest. In fact, the practice is so outrageous to a majority of people that they are unwilling to have the subject discussed. This "hide under a bushel" attitude leads to tremendous problems for youngsters who are forced into such situations. There is almost no place for them to turn.
This book has as its primary purpose the open discussion of cases of incest. A further purpose is to expose the perversion of incest to public knowledge and possibly subsequent understanding. For it is only in understanding a problem that any solution to it can be found. We cannot condone, but we can attempt to understand and to help.
Five case histories are included for examination in this study. The first contains the story of a young boy, raised by his divorced mother, who was slowly drawn into her continually more bizarre sexuality. The second case deals with what sociologists call "transferal incest." A more accurate description of the case might be, "My Child, the Slave."
The third case deals with the young girl who narrated the passage contained in the introduction. We will find that this girl got into much deeper trouble than would be supposed. Her sexual attachment to her father eventually led to dire consequences.
Fourth is the shocking case of two bright youngsters named Joan and Jimmy. Sadism enters the picture here. These two children are forced to withstand brutal tortures in fulfillment of their parent's sexual demands.
Lastly is the case of two teen-agers. Their lives are so interconnected that they find no happiness, no consolation, except with each other. They are brother and sister.
Our approach to this subject is not a statistical one, although a large number of adults and adolescents were interviewed in connection with this problem. Instead, what is called the psychological depth interview and content analysis methods are used.
From the group of volunteers who cooperated in this project by giving their sex histories, the five cases mentioned above-all concerned with people of very different personal dispositions and social backgrounds-will be used. It is their sexual experiences, attitudes and relationships that are examined at close range and in every relevant detail in order to arrive at a new and fuller understanding of this increasing and demoralizing problem of incest.
One last consideration must be mentioned before we move on to the case histories. We are dealing here primarily with child-parent relationships which, euphemistically speaking, are too close," i.e., perverted. Concerning that other side to the coin, there are just as many children, perhaps more, who become socially maladjusted by the lack of a relationship with their parents as there are those who are scarred by a too intimate relationship. In no way, by presenting these case histories, is it intended to decrease or eliminate any genuine, heartfelt love between parent and child. We do not mean to create guilty feelings. Parents should love their children; it is only when that love is exaggerated, when it begins to injure, when it leads to sexual activity, that we find the love-relationship between parent and child a menace. It is the duty of the parent to love the child wisely and well.
To fulfill their biological destiny, boys must identify with their fathers and girls with their mothers. Identification is the crucial process whereby boys become men and girls women. Identification is facilitated when relationships with children are based on respect and love. By winning our children's affection, we also win their wish to emulate our respective sexual roles. Yet parents themselves are not always clear as to what their roles entail.
In many societies the function of the mother is more clearly defined than that of the father. To be mothered means to be nursed, diapered, cuddled, loved, played with, chided, smiled at, talked to and cared for. The need for maternal care is biologically determined. Lack of mothering endangers the infant's mental health and threatens his very survival. In contrast, fathering involves less nature and more culture. Biologically speaking, a father's contribution begins and ends before the child is born. All other fathering activities are socially determined.
In essence, the duties of a parent must be learned and accepted. A maxim might be: identify with, guide, protect and love, but don't scar.
CHAPTER ONE
Tom: Incest and the Adolescent Male
"I guess the only thing anybody is ever interested in is when did I start fucking my mother. Sure, they ask a lot of questions like, 'What was my relationship with my father?' and a lot of other bullshit like that, but I know the only thing they're interested in is how I put my cock up mother's pussy and screwed the hell out of her.
"In fact, most of the time, the ones asking the question look like they don't believe me at all. Hell, that's okay with me. I'm used to people listening to me, wanting to hear about me fucking my old lady, and then calling me a goddam liar.
"I mean, what's it to me? I couldn't care less whether they believe me or not. It happened. Often. Period.
"It all started when Mom and I moved out of the big house we used to live in and went into an apartment. She finally sold the old mausoleum my father had given her as part of the divorce settlement.
"And before you ask-no, I never see my old man. I wouldn't recognize him if he walked in here and spit on me. And I don't want to know him.
"Anyway, in this apartment, the new one, our bedrooms were a lot closer than they'd been in the old house. It was still a big apartment, but now we were within hearing distance. I was eleven at the time. After we'd been in the place for a couple of days, and one night after I'd gone to bed, I heard all these noises that I didn't recognize. I was by myself in the bedroom and was really scared. I remember that perfectly. I lay there for a while, working up my courage to get up and see what was happening. From what I could tell the sounds were groans, like somebody was in a lot of pain or something.
"Finally, I got the guts to get up. I headed out into the hall and walked towards the sounds. I really got scared when I realized they were coming from my mother's bedroom. The door was almost closed. By that I mean I couldn't see into the room, but the door wasn't closed tight. All I had to do was push it a little. After a long while of still hearing those noises and getting more and more afraid, I finally pushed that door-just a little. I was afraid for my mother, but not really brave enough to go barging in.
"Course, what I saw made me think the guy was hurting her. After all, I was a little kid. Whenever I'd seen anybody in that position before, they were always fighting. I didn't know the only thing going on was a good fuck: the guy from the next apartment was in there getting his rocks off by fucking the shit out of my mother.
"To show what a little jerk I was, I watched for a little while, then I screwed up my courage again and ran in. I jumped on that guy's back and started to pound away. Now that I look back on it, I guess it was really a pretty funny scene. I can remember, too, seeing a grown man's cock for the first time. I was impressed. The guy was really hung.
"And on top of that, it was the first time I'd seen my mother naked. Or any broad for that matter. Young as I was, after the commotion of my entrance calmed down, I can remember being excited about seeing her naked. Really excited.
"Somehow the situation was smoothed over and I was sent back to bed. I don't remember what words she used to explain what was going on, but I guess they made sense. She also had a long conversation with me the next morning, explaining things about men and women, and pleasure, and all that kind of bullshit.
"Anyway, when the talking was over, I knew one thing for sure. When she was laying there moaning and groaning, and some guy was on top of her, sticking his prick in her and then pulling it out, I knew that she was having fun, no matter how much it looked like he was hurting her. And the more and harder the guy long-dicked her, the more fun she was having. It was hard to believe, but I took her word for it.
"From then on, just about every weekend, and sometimes during the week, I'd be outside that door while good old Mom was getting her cunt plugged. Man, I saw a lot of crazy things. I guess Mom was getting weird because she'd do just about anything for kicks. I can remember one night she had this colored guy in there. Man, he had the biggest cock I've ever seen, but she lay there and took it-every goddamned inch. And one night she had four guys in there. They were sailors. They all had her, at least once. One guy four times. I knew they were sailors because I had breakfast with them the next morning, and they had their uniforms on.
"But I guess you want me to get on with the story, right?-like when did I start getting some cunt to fuck myself. Well, with all due credit to Mom, I think the first time was an accident. She was in the bedroom with this guy one Friday night. As usual, I had my nose pressed up against the door. That door, you see, was always open a little. I think she subconsciously wanted me to watch. Anyway, this guy had Mom up on her hands and knees, facing the door, and he was fucking her in the ass. Man, I'd never seen anything like that. He had his big cock ramming in and out of her ass like a piston.
"I guess I got more excited then than the other times. I was twelve, and I'd already been fooling around with myself a lot-especially ouside that door. And I knew I could come. The first time it happened I was scared shitless, but at least now I knew what coming felt like and why those guys wanted to plug my mother so much.
"Anyway, I saw her taking it up the ass and I was really interested. I guess I lost my cool and pressed my nose against that door too hard, because the next thing I knew I was on my face on the floor, inside her bedroom. I looked up. They were both staring at me. He still had his big, fucking prick wedged up her ass.
"Then she started to get up, to get off his prick, but he wouldn't have anything to do with that. 'Let the kid watch his mother getting her ass fucked,' the guy said. And he started plowing away again. I was scared, having been caught, but after just a few seconds, Mom didn't seem to mind my being there anymore. In fact, if anything, she was even more excited. I got up on my feet and moved closer to the side of the bed and watched that big cock jamming into her. The son-of-a-bitch was alternating his cock between her ass and her cunt. He'd pull all the way out and then force himself into her other hole. Christ, she was moaning so loud I thought the neighbors would hear. She would even have liked that.
"In and out, in and out-I'll never forget it. I could hear his balls slapping against her ass every time his cock would plunge into either her ass or her cunt. She kept pressing back on his cock, trying to get more of it inside her. And she didn't give a damn whether that cock was filling her ass-hole or her pussy.
" 'Ever see her get fucked before?' the man asked me. I shook my head. I never had, at least not like that. 'Well,' he laughed, 'you're seeing it now.'
"All of a sudden my mother grabbed me. She supported herself with one arm on the bed and pulled me towards her with the other. She started kissing me. And it wasn't like a 'good-bye, go to school' kiss. She had her tongue down my throat. That kind of scared me, but it also turned me on. She kept running her tongue in and out of my mouth, playing with my tongue. She sucked on it so hard, I thought she'd yank it out. Then she took my hands and put them on her tits. 'Play with them,' she whispered. She sounded real hoarse. So I played with them. 'Harder,' she yelled. I didn't know if she was talking to me or the guy behind, but I started mauling on her tits and she got all the more excited. And I could see the guy fucking her was in her cunt now, ramming and jamming his cock into her about a thousand times a second.
" 'Pinch 'em,' she yells at me, so I start in pinching her nipples. Even my own little pecker is hard by this time. I guess she saw that and before I know it, she's flat on the bed, her face sticking over the side and she's got my cock in her mouth.
"Now, if you remember the first time you got head, you gotta remember that it's the greatest thing in the world. I shot in seconds. She gulped down the cream like it was money. Then she held me so damned tight to her that she almost knocked me out. She came then, just as the guy behind threw his cock into her the last time and shot his own cream.
"Believe it or not, I don't remember anything after that. I don't even remember her saying, or me saying, anything. The next memory I had was of the next morning, at the breakfast table. Mom and I were alone, and I'll have to say this for her, she was a real two-bit, do-anything whore, but she wasn't embarrassed by it. We sat there and calmly talked about what happened the night before. From then on, I was included in all the fucks. I grew up real fast.
"Course, it was more than a year before she let me do the fucking myself. You gotta realize, my mom was used to some really big cocks and a twelve-year-old just didn't have the size equipment she was after. But I was growing, and growing pretty fast.
"Hey, all this talk is getting me pretty fucking horny. I guess that little secretary you got out there wouldn't want to put me out of my misery, huh? No. I guess not.
"Hell, man, I gotta come at least twice a day or I start climbing the walls. And all this talking is getting me going but good. I mean, like sometimes when I was in school, and this was even after I was fucking Mom just about anytime I wanted to, I'd have to go into the John and jack off. Then I could concentrate on what was in the fucking book I was reading. Otherwise I'd just sit there with a big hard-on and think about nothing else but Mom's cunt pulling and pressing on my dick. Mom sure was a good lay.
"But like I said, I had to wait a little while after all this preliminary stuff before I was doing the fucking too. I guess I was thirteen then, and I'd had a couple of good years. Had my cock sucked off just about every time I'd turn around. And the guys seemed to enjoy my being around. They were all weirdos anyway. Mom seemed to pick up weirder and weirder people all the time.
"Then this one night Mom's in the bedroom with another of her freakos, and I started to go into my little act. If it was the first time for one of Mom's studs, I'd repeat the thing I did that first night-you know, fall through the door. If the guy was a repeat, then he was there because he liked the scene, so there was no sense in screwing around. I just joined the group right off then.
"This particular cat was young, at least he was a lot younger than most of the guys Mom dragged up to the apartment. I was outside the bedroom door, looking in. They were doing the usual preliminary stuff, kissing and tossing around on the bed. He really seemed to go for licking her tits. But then, when the time comes for the real nitty-gritty, the guy is limp. He had a helluva big cock on him, you understand, but it was limp. He tried pushing it in, shoving on it, but it wouldn't go in. Mom even went down on him, sucking his cock for maybe five minutes. It helped a little, but then it drooped again as soon as she stopped. I could tell Mom was getting a little pissed. She looked over at the door where she knew I was.
"I fell in, right on cue.
"As soon as that happened, and I got up and walked over to the bed-you see, by this time I did my act naked, no use fooling around-anyway, as soon as I get to the bed, the guy's pecker starts growing like a fucking tree. Man, it was sticking out harder than a rock in no time at all.
"Mom crunches up close to the guy and moves her cunt onto his cock, but as soon as he's in her, he goes down. Then, when he comes out, he goes up again. Really sounds stupid, but that's what happened.
"So there was no way in the world that that guy was going to fuck her. She tried everything. She wanted that big joint in her so bad she was about out of her mind.
"She leaned over and started to suck on my prick. It was hard in seconds. It still doesn't take me long. I looked over and the guy was hard again. Mom moved over on him. Tilt. Down he goes again. By this time Mom is so hot you can just about smell her cunt hairs burning. She's got her whole fist shoved up into her own hole. Tuck me! Fuck me!' she's screaming. But the guy couldn't do her any good.
"Then she said the magic words. 'C'mon, Tom-mie,' she says. 'You fuck me.' Man, I guess I'd been waiting for that invitation for a long time because within seconds I was up on that bed and had my cock poised at her cunt. I guess just at the last second, just about when I was ready to shove my prick all the way into her, she had some second thoughts, because I remember her saying, 'No, no.' But by that time I was home.
"Now I wasn't as big as the other guy oh the bed but I was growing-and fast. My cock was a thing to be proud of and I slammed it into her as hard as I could. That sure stopped her protests-real fast. She didn't do anything but groan from then on. I fucked and I fucked. I shot and then I fucked her some more. I was really young then and I thought my cock would never go down.
"Well, meanwhile, this other guy is taking advantage of the situation. He didn't try anything really rough. All he did was put that big cock between my thighs and ride along. I didn't see any harm in that. He wasn't hurting me and I didn't know any better. And Mom was beyond noticing or caring at that point.
"But then the two of them headed off together. I mean, they shot off, they came about the same time. She was writhing on the bed, moaning like an Indian in heat, and he was shooting a quart of cream up between my legs, on her belly. Man, it was a wild scene. Only when Mom came down off her plateau, she really read the riot act. She realized what the guy had been doing, and man, did she start calling him names. Christ, I've never heard anything like that since. She could really cuss like a blackpussy whore.
"From then on, I was in on the fucking anytime there was any action. Sometimes I'd fuck her first, break her in, I guess you'd call it. Or the other guy would have first throw and I'd be happy with sloppy seconds. And sometimes they were really sloppy.
"Hell, if you want to know how many times I fucked Mom's pussy, I guess you'd have to count up all the Saturdays, and throw in a few Fridays and Sundays-shit, let's just say a hell of a lot of times.
"But like I said, Mom was getting a lot freakier -and fast. She was picking up guys left and right. Hell, she'd even quit her job and was living on alimony, just so nothing would interfere with her fucking. She'd pick up guys in bars, in supermarkets, at the gas station, anywhere that she'd find a cock that appealed to her. And then she'd always bring her pussy home so that her son could ride it, too.
"Then she got a thing for gang bangs-real, honest-to-God group fuck sessions. There were never any other females around, just Mom, but a lot of times there'd be from two to six guys in on the fuck. She had them all, me included, and she loved every minute of it. I think she could have gone another round with all six of us, but it was getting late. What am I talking about? Late? It was ten o'clock in the morning!
"That apartment was getting to be a regular sex palace. But there's one time that really sticks in my mind. There were only four of us that night. It was a slow night.
"All the guys had been there before, only separately. They knew what was going on, so as soon as they got to the apartment, I was right in the middle of things. We didn't even head to the bedroom that night. We did it right in the middle of the living room floor. The fireplace was lit and that gave a little light, but not too much. And that was good, because the drapes were wide open. Our apartment overlooked the pool and there was a walkway leading to other apartments that went right in front of our window. Anybody passing couldn't have missed the scene.
"I guess I was getting as freaky as she was, because I can remember being excited about those drapes being open.
"Anyway, one guy started the night off with his belt. He started beating the shit out of Mom with it. I watched it. I had to. He started in and she was having a ball, enjoying it thoroughly. At first it bothered me, but then I started to get really turned on. You know, seeing somebody just laying there, willing to have their ass beat, tends to make you feel kind of powerful. At least it did me. And then, after the belt bit, there was no stopping us at all. I mean, no way.
"She took on all four of us at once. One in her cunt, one in her mouth, and she had her hands on the other two. Then we'd change around. And once these two guys were in her, both at once. One in her cunt and the other in her ass-hole. Man, it was getting to the point that the more you hurt her, the more she liked it."
It might interest readers to know that the preceding interview took place at a State hospital for the criminally insane. Two years previous, Tom had come home and killed his mother. Her body was found by a cleaning lady two days later, horribly mutilated. Her breasts were severed and her vagina had been stuffed with broken glass.
Tom was found shortly after in the furnace room of the apartment house. He was huddled on the ground. His eyes were wide open. He made no sound. He was led away and remained in this catatonic state for almost a month.
It was only within the last few months prior to this interview that Tom would talk. He can never be released from the hospital.
It seems almost out of context to mention a young male in connection with incest. Our standard "accepted" combination of those involved in the horrors of incest are the young girl and her father. And in most cases-percentages vary with reports from 55% to 74%-this is true.
There is another significant combination, however, that seems to be only a secondary consideration to those who work with the problem-namely, the sexual union of the young male child and his mother.
In the various reports used in this study, percentages varied greatly as to the occurrence of young-male-older-woman involvements. One report states that this combination was found in only-7% of the cases; another reports this involvement at 42%. Why the tremendous difference in percentages? Mostly, and this is conjecture, the variations are the result of differing areas and differing incomes and educations of those involved. For instance, young male child and mother involvements occur much more often in more sophisticated households. In lower income brackets, there were few reported cases. It would seem that the higher the income and educational levels, the more frequent the occurrence of this particular involvement.
Tom is an example. He is the product of an upper income bracket family, and except for the fact that his parents were divorced when he was age six, his childhood was normal-or as normal as it could be under the circumstance of having no or little masculine influence in his life. Tom's mother retained complete custody of him; not even visiting rights were requested by the father.
Tom's incestuous relationship with his mother came about in progressive stages, as he so graphically illustrated. At the time of the interviews detailed in this chapter, Tom was seventeen, and indeed he was a young man who knew much about the world. But perhaps he knew only about the wrong things.
We had one purpose in speaking with Tom. We wanted to find out what single event, or series of events, caused his mind to snap. We wanted to find out what had happened to have him react in so violent a way. The answer is found in the following section of his case history.
"You see, all this time, and it'd been a couple of years now since I'd started fucking around with her, I'd never had sex with anybody else-only Mom. That might sound a little funny, I mean, me being so young. But when you get used to using your cock regularly, you get some real mature ideas about your life.
"But I didn't need anybody else to have sex. My mother was giving me all the action I needed, even if I was only a young kid whose cock would pop up every goddamned five minutes. I had good staying power-I guess all kids do-but most times she wore me out good.
"All the trouble started when she met Phil. I was just fifteen at the time, but even then I'd had plenty of sex-and expected plenty of sex, from her. But then Phil showed on the scene. Just a couple of days after my fifteenth birthday. In fact, you might even say that Phil was a birthday present. Some fucking birthday present.
"Jesus, why did that creep have to come along? Things were going along just great. I was having a ball and I thought Mom was, too. I mean, she was getting freakier and all that, but she seemed to be enjoying herself the way things were. Like I said, she even quit her job and started hanging out at bars and places like that even more. We were up to about four or five gang bangs a week. And man, I was getting all the sex I needed. And let me tell you, I was a kid who needed one hell of a lot.
"I didn't think anything we were doing was wrong. How can a kid know something is wrong if he was raised with it? I mean, if you were raised on stealing and it was the only way you knew to get something to eat, you never could convince yourself that theft is wrong, no matter what anybody says. I guess I took it for granted that all kids had what I had.
"I mean, as far as I knew every kid was fucking his mother, and having her suck off his cock. And doing it while half the male population of the whole fucking town was watching.
"I didn't have any real friends to find out different. Shit, I didn't need any kids my own age hanging around. And I didn't want any. Besides, Mom liked older guys-except for me. Older and freaky. The only reason she had me around was because her own son fucking her cunt really turned her on. And her buddies.
"But I guess I got side-tracked a little. I mean, on my story. I even forgot where the hell I was. Let's see. Like I said, things were going great. We were having sex just about every night. New people all the time, and anything went. I was really having a ball. And by this time I was full-grown in the cock department and I didn't have to take a back seat to anybody. I could fuck with the best of them.
"And then one night Mom dragged Phil home. I thought it was the standard scene. I stayed outside the door, my cock standing up at full mast, waiting to get into the bedroom. I was jacking myself off like a monkey what with watching the two of them going through their warm-up sucks and licks. You see, we had a little signal, Mom and me; when she wanted me to make my appearance, she'd say the word 'kitchen.' It sounds dumb, but that's the way she let me know when to come in. She'd say something like, 'I hear a noise in the kitchen,' and blam, I'd fall inside, naked as a jaybird, with my cock hard as a rock and ready to fuck.
And let me tell you, by the time she got me into that room, I really needed something to fuck.
"This particular night, though, she was a long time in saying our word. And I was getting hot as hell outside that door. I kept staring inside, wondering what the hell was taking them so long. I guess I knew why. Old Phil had her ass propped up on a pillow. He had her legs spread wide open, with her cunt hanging out, and his head was down between her legs. He must have had a tongue like a second cock, because she sure was enjoying it. He was lapping away at her cunt and she was moaning. Oh, I'm com-m-ming, she'd scream, and he'd keep on lapping up her pussy juices.
"They were in a position that let me see the action. Phil took his fingers and separated her cunt lips. Then he'd take his tongue and lick all around just on the inside. He'd take her clit in his teeth and bite very gently. Man, that had her ass bucking. Then he'd stick his face down into that pussy as far as he could. His tongue would shoot up in there again and again. And then he'd stop and start the thing all over again.
"He really liked to eat pussy, that guy, because it went on for about a half hour. Mom must have come ten times just from the guy eating her box. He'd lick down her thighs and up on her belly to her tits. Christ, her nipples looked like quarters. But he always went back to her cunt. I swear to Christ, one time when he stopped for a few seconds to rest, his face was sopping wet with pussy juice -from his hairline to his chin. Man, he really got in there.
"Mom wasn't in any hurry to have me in there, and I knew it. So I just kept jacking off until I started to come. I splattered all over the wall, on the carpets, everywhere. I didn't give a shit where the come went. I was just sort of pissed at the idea of being kept waiting. I wanted to get my prick up in that pussy.
"I guess Phil heard me making noises when I came, because when I looked back in the room, he was heading towards the door. He opens it and there I am, naked as a blue jay, my cock still hard and standing straight out, and come all over the place. I didn't know whether to shit or go blind. And Mom didn't help the situation any. She lays there, the fucking whore, and calls out real sweet like, 'Who's out there, Phil?' The fucking, ass-licking cunt. She knew goddamned well who was out there. Her 'baby,' that's who.
"That's another thing that really pissed me off about her. She was all the time calling me her 'baby.' Man, it was alright when she used it and I was fucking her. That was alright. What I hated was when she used it when we were outside. Then it really embarrassed me. I guess she just got into the habit though, because that's the way she got to introducing me to her little sex act. 'It's my baby,' she'd say and then reach over and start gobbling my cock.
"But there wasn't any 'act' that night. Phil looked like he was going to knock the shit out of me for watching. He didn't say anything but I saw his fists ball up and his face flush. I guess he didn't like being watched. But then Mom comes over to the door, the bitch, bare-assed naked, her big tits swinging. Christ, I could smell her pussy juice from ten feet away. She even had wet marks on her thighs. She was leaking come like a faucet.
"Then she says, 'Tommie, whatever in the world are you doing?' I wanted to hit her. You know, I was so friggin' hot and she stands there and asks me what I'm doing. And it sure as hell was obvious what I was doing. There were pecker tracks all over the damned wall, floor and door.
" 'What is he?' Phil asked. 'A goddamned creep?' Now it was my turn to want to hit him. But he was a big son-of-a-bitch. Not in the cock department-man, he was just average there-but the rest of him was big. Especially his tongue. I guess from Mom's reaction, you'd have to say that his tongue was the biggest thing about him.
"She didn't come to my defense or anything. She just told me to go to bed. I was so pissed I just headed to my room without saying anything. But I could hear them talking about me.
"I snuck down the hall a little while later. The door still wasn't closed all the way. In fact, by this time, we had it fixed so you couldn't close it if you wanted to. I pushed it open just enough so I could see, and you can bet your bottom dollar I was quiet as a mouse. I didn't want Phil to haul off and knock the shit out of me, which I'm sure he would have done if he'd caught me again.
"By now Phil was working on her with more than his tongue. She was still on her back, her ass still propped up with a pillow and he was taking something out of a jar and putting it all over her cunt, inside and out. Just rubbing it on like lubricant, but I knew for damned sure that she didn't need any lubricant.
"Then he finger-fucked her for a while, or I guess I should say fist-fucked her. He had his whole goddamned hand pushing up into that cunt of hers. I thought that was what was really turning her on. But it wasn't. I guess that cream he'd put on her pussy was like some kind of itching powder or something, because she was really going out of her mind. She just thrashed around on that bed and screamed. 'Fuck me. FUCK ME!' she shouted. But Phil just kept plowing that fist of his in and out of her cunt.
"Finally, after a long while of the fist action, he asks her, 'What do you want me to do?'
" 'Fuck me, Phil. Fuck me good and hard!'
" 'Whatta ya say first?' he asks.
" 'Please. Please, Phil, fuck my cunt.'
" 'Will you do anything to get it?' he asked. She nods her head frantically at that. 'Anything,' she says.
" 'Okay, bitch,' Phil says, and by this time he has a real weird look on his face, 'drink my piss.'
"That slowed Mom up for a second, but only a second. She was so fucking hot she'd have eaten his shit to get that cock inside her. She hopped up on her hands and knees and stuck out her face, her mouth open. Phil got off the bed and stood right up close to her, his cock pointed at her mouth. He had a hard-on so he couldn't piss right away. He stood there, waiting for it to go down a little so the piss could get through. All the while old Mom is kneeling there begging for his piss and his cock. She's even reaching around by this time so she can shove her own paw up her cunt. Christ, I'd seen her hot a lot of times, but nothing like this.
" 'Okay, take it,' Phil says and all of a sudden the piss starts coming out. Just a little at first and then, wham, a real flood. Mom missed the first couple of drops, but she repositioned herself and started taking that piss. She swallowed as fast as he delivered. She even moved forward and took his half-hard cock in her mouth and drank straight from the spigot. That got to be too much for her, though. She spilled some, and that got her a clout on the side of the head from the big gorilla. Mom even liked that. Man, I told you she was weird.
"When Phil was finally through pissing in her mouth, he shoved her back on the bed. He got between her legs and finally she got what she wanted. He sunk that cock into her pussy full length with the first stroke. It looked a lot bigger now than it had when Phil was standing at the door. He plowed into her, again and again, long-dicking her. He'd pull all the way out and then shove it in. He didn't care if he hit the target right on or not. If he was off center, he'd just push and shove until his cock eventually found the hole and sunk in. He was ripping her cunt lips apart-and she loved every minute of it.
"She kept coming again and again and he kept fucking her. I have to say this for the guy, he sure could go at it a long time. He had me hot again, so I was banging away on my own cock outside that door. Shit, I started and I finished and he was still fucking her.
"I left then-even watching sex gets boring after you've come yourself a couple of times-and fell asleep with the sweet sounds of my mother being fucked cascading around my ears. He must have stayed in her three hours.
"Phil wasn't around the next morning at breakfast. Mom came down looking like the last victim of the Trojan War, eyes all red, skin blotchy, big bags under her eyes. Christ, she was really a scag.
"She'd bounce right back though. I knew that. She could fuck all night and look like shit the next morning at breakfast, but after a couple of cups of coffee and an hour in front of the mirror, she'd be the same great-looking woman she always was.
"But I was pissed at her that morning, and wouldn't talk. She knew what was the matter and fell all over herself apologizing. 'I brought up the subject of bringing you in on the scene,' she explained, 'but he didn't go for it. I'm sorry, baby.'
"That didn't make me any less peeved, but I kissed her anyway. No use staying mad, I told myself. As I was standing next to her she reached up and felt my cock under my bathrobe. It was hard as hell. 'You didn't get anything last night,' she said. She played around a little more. My cock was throbbing and red, standing up for action. She pulled my robe open and leaned forward, taking the whole length of my cock in her mouth. Then she backed up and started licking the tip with her tongue. She followed the veins down the length of my prick with her lips and then swallowed the whole thing again, sucking on it like crazy.
"I shot in no time, then she just sat there sucking up my come and swallowing it as fast as she could. Finally, I stopped shooting off in her mouth and moved away. 'That,' she said, 'was for not getting into me last night.'
"I went to school happy. I forgot all about her drinking that creep's piss.
"The creep was back that night, alone, which was unusual. All the other guys, if they did repeat, came back as one of a group. Phil was all by his lonesome, and I could tell from the mother-fucker's attitude that he thought he owned Mom, me and the whole world.
"We had dinner together, but I didn't say three words. As soon as I could I told them I was heading out. I did. Just walked around for an hour or so. I was pretty pissed by the whole situation.
"When I got back, the first thing I did was go to my room and strip off my clothes. They already were in the bedroom, and I was damned determined to get in on things this time. I was all excited-I wanted to see Phil really slam it to her-and then I wanted to get into the saddle and show her what a real fuck was like. Man, I was going to shove it in every way I could, twist it in, sideways, backwards if I had to. I'd show her. And that fucking Phil.
"The door was locked! I pushed on the damned thing and it wouldn't open. I could hear them in there, but the door was locked. Somehow that creep had closed the door and talked her into locking it. I was so mad I damned near threw up. And I was hot, hotter than I'd ever been in my life. I wanted to fuck her so bad I could taste it. But that goddamned door was locked.
"I went back to my room and got dressed. I was going out to find somebody to stick my cock into. I wanted pussy and I was going to get it.
"I didn't know it, but I had a real problem going for me. Just where in the hell does a punk fifteen-year-old kid find a girl to fuck? Especially a kid who's green about where to go or who to see. I couldn't find anything or anybody. I walked around, peering into every girl's face I saw. Christ, I was even staring at old ladies who hadn't had a fucking in decades, but I got nowhere, except more frustrated.
"I came home after about four hours and beat my meat until it was sore. I was still fucking horny, but Phil and my mother were still locked in the bedroom. And then I got an idea. A whore. I'd find myself a whore and pay for some ass until Mom got over the hots for creep Phil. I went to sleep with that idea racing through my head.
"The next morning I waited until Mom was out of the house and then stole twenty-five bucks out of her drawer. I wanted a high class pussy to fuck, not some two-bit hooker. After all, I was used to the best. I sat around counting the minutes until night came.
"I got out as early as I could-I even skipped dinner-and headed downtown. I knew I'd find somebody down around the hotels, and I did. I could recognize the fucking whore-cunts as soon as I saw them. They had the same look in their eyes that my mother did when she was on the make. Only they got paid. Mom did it for free.
"The only trouble was I couldn't get any of them to pay attention to me. I was only fifteen, and with my pants on I looked it. I'd walk up to one and try to say something and she'd walk away. One even patted me on my goddamned head.
"But then I got an idea. I went to a hotel and talked to a bellhop. He smiled and told me to sit in the lobby. He'd have a cunt for me in five minutes.
"He missed the mark by about twenty seconds. She was a good-looking blonde, sort of tall-taller than I was-and she was willing. And, believe it or not, she took me serious. She took me to her own apartment but when I told her I had twenty-five dollars, she said that wasn't enough. Then she saw the look on my face and said twenty-five would be alright.
"We got to her apartment and both stripped down. I wanted to fuck her on the living room floor, remembering that scene on the living room floor at home, and she agreed. Christ, for twenty-five she would have fucked in a church.
"All this time, you know, from the minute I left the house, my cock had been hard and raring to go. But then, when I'm settled in front of this broad's pussy, I go limp. Limp as hell. Just like that queer Mom brought home. It wouldn't get hard. The girl tried every goddamned thing. She sucked on it. She smeared cold cream on it. 'You like to fuck me in the ass?' she asked. Sure I would have liked to, but I couldn't.
"I wasted the whole fucking twenty-five dollars. My cock just would not get hard.
"Two nights later I'm about ready to climb the wall. I hadn't had any sex except with my hand in all that time. And Phil had moved in. Yeah, that creep was living in now, fucking every night. I could hear them-but I was out in the cold.
"Mom had, or at least that's what she told me, fallen in love-with his tongue.
"I asked around school if any of the guys knew a girl who liked to fuck. Angie was a girl everybody recommended. She'd lay for anybody, they said. I looked her up. Sure enough, within ten minutes of my saying hello, she was on her knees, taking my cock down her throat. I stood there, in her goddamned side yard, and held her ears. I plowed my cock in and out of her mouth. She gagged but kept coming back for more. She licked and sucked, then she moved her head down and started in with her tongue on my balls. She had my pants down around my ankles and my cock standing straight out. That damned nympho even had me bend over and she licked my ass-hole. Man, that felt great. I can still feel that wet tongue sticking up in my shit track. And she was out of her head with excitement.
"Finally, she got down on her back-we were still in her side yard, but it was dark-and pulled her skirt up. She didn't have anything on underneath. I stripped off my pants and got down between her legs. She grabbed me with her two legs like she was a vise. I looked down at her cunt, spread open for me. Her pussy lips were red as blood. I stuck a thumb inside, just to wet her up a little. That's all it took. Her pussy juice started running. I aimed my cock, shoved it in. Man, that first shove is always the greatest, and then, blam, the fucking thing went limp. Just like that, for no reason.
"I tried. Man, how I tried. I bucked against her, even pulled the goddamned thing out and jacked it off trying to get it hard. Nothing worked. She just lay there on the ground, looking at me, wondering what the hell was the matter.
"I had to leave her without doing anything. But she didn't laugh at me like that goddamned whore did, so I set up a date for the weekend. I didn't drive, so I invited a buddy along who did-after telling him about Angie. He was seventeen and more than willing.
"That following Saturday night we picked Angie up. We headed straight out for a dark road.
This wasn't going to be one of those feed 'em and fuck 'em deals. We weren't about to bother with feeding Angie--just fuck her.
"We pulled under some trees and I climbed into the back seat. Angie was ready. She was naked and on her back, her cunt glistening in the moonlight. Man, I was hot. I looked up and saw my buddy leaning with his arms on the back of the front seat, watching. He was grinning and, man, that made me even hotter. I fucked Angie with everything I had and if she had any doubts about my ability, I squelched them but good. I had her squealing out for almost a half hour, fucking her until I had come three times. She was covered with the stuff by the time I was done. I finally hopped off and gave my buddy a chance, but by this time I was drained and didn't even get a kick out of watching him.
"And then, while I was sitting there waiting for him to finish, the truth hit me. I couldn't make it with a chick unless some guy was watching me do it. I knew that was the problem. Every time I'd ever had sex before, there had always been a guy watching. I needed some fucking other man around to get my rocks off!
"That really worried the hell out of me, because it sounded so damned queer. I promised myself I'd work it out and get straight.
"It got worse. Three nights later, I was trying to jack off, listening to the moaning coming from my mother's bedroom-and I was hot. I wrapped my fist around my cock and started to pull. Nothing. The cock stayed soft. I was so fucking hot and yet my cock wouldn't get hard. Eventually, I shot off without the damned thing ever getting hard.
"The next day I tried an experiment. I went into the John at school. It was empty. I stood by the pisser and pulled on my meat. Nothing. It wouldn't get hard. Ten minutes I worked on that fucking prick and nothing happened. And then a guy comes in. I knew him. He was in one of my classes-a nothing character.
"I started talking to him, laughing and joking. And then after a few seconds I came right out and asked him if he'd ever seen a guy jack off. This guy was a real winner. He'd never seen shit, but he wanted to. His eyes lit up and I started to pull. I watched him watching me. My cock got harder than a rock within seconds. I shot off in record time.
"I just cut the rest of my classes and headed home. I had to talk to Mom. Shit on that, I had to fuck her. She got me started on this, so she had to help me. But she wouldn't.
"Phil wasn't there, but she wouldn't help me. I even pulled my cock out, but she wouldn't even look at it. I even started to cry, begging her to help me. Then she said, 'Don't be such a baby.'
"That did it, I guess. I saw red and I started hitting her. Again and again I slammed my fist into her face. She tried to defend herself at first...."
Tom eventually finished his whole story. How he attacked his by now unconscious mother, and when his penis did not respond, he took his failing out on her. He mutilated her in the manner which was described earlier.
Apparently he passed out after the murder. When he awoke he saw immediately what he had done. His mind refused to believe it and he withdrew into the catatonic state. That withdrawal was probably the only thing that kept him from taking his own life.
Tom seemed to be making tremendous strides in his recovery. Then, approximately four months after our last interview, he was found in his room at the hospital. He had cut his own throat. A tortured soul, he at last had found peace.
CHAPTER TWO
Laura: My Child, the Slave
"That fuckhead father of mine put me where I am today. Him and his lousy cock. You know I wouldn't be here except for him. Why else would I have been selling my ass on the streets for a lousy three or four dollars a toss, if he hadn't started me in? I'll hate that bastard until the day I die. I'll spit on his grave.
"You sit there with that son-of-a-bitch tape recorder and ask me why I'm where I am. You want the story, do you? Okay, you got it. And I hope it curls the hairs right off your fuckin' head.
"The goddamned courts have got me sitting in this jail for six months because I tried to pick up a few bucks. Christ, how else am I going to make any money? I can't do a goddamned thing except lay on my back. My old man took me out of school when I was twelve. How much do you think a little girl can learn in that time?
"Nothin' you're ever going to say to me is going to make me feel wrong. I'm in jail for whoring; the old man, who fucked his own goddamned daughter every time she turned around for five years ain't never spent a day in jail. Neither have any of my cock-sucking brothers. They're all off scot-free, and I'm sitting in jail. There just ain't no justice. I tell you, there just ain't no justice.
"I guess the best thing is for me to settle down and tell you the story. Then you'll get off my back, right? Okay, here goes.
"I grew up in upper New York State, on a farm that was a million miles from everything. I have five brothers, all older than I am, and with the exception of those bastards, and my parents, I didn't see anybody or meet anybody until I went to school. Naturally, even then I was shy as hell-didn't make up to nobody. No outside friends. The farm and my family were my whole life.
"Then when I was twelve years old, my mother died. She was a nice old lady. I really loved her, mainly because I think she cared for me. At least she acted like it, which is more than I can say for the rest of my family. Shit, they used me alright, but they didn't love me. No, sir.
"You see, my old man was a real old-time thinker when it came to kids. They should stay at home, is what he thought. No messin' around with dates and things. And the location of the farm made enforcing his thinking pretty easy. Christ, even today, all my brothers are on the farm. The old man gets work out of them in exchange for a bed and food. No love, no nothin.'
"But like I said, Mom died when I was twelve, and I took it real bad. Cried for like a week until one day the old man comes into my room and slams me alongside the head and tells me shut the hell up and get some work done. That set the pattern for my life for a lot of years.
"My Mom wasn't even cold in her grave before the old man is visiting the school board. He needs me at home, he tells them. And the old farts on the school board, all of them thinking the same way the old man does, grants him permission to keep me home. Wow, what a mistake that was!
"Just three nights after the permission for me to stay away from school was given, the old man walks up behind me when we were alone in. the kitchen and puts his hand on my ass. 'Real pretty,' he says. Being the nit-wit I am, I blush and say, 'Thank you.' Christ, that's a laugh. If I'd known what he had on his mind I would have headed for the hills and stayed there. But it didn't take me long to get the picture.
"I was the only one in the house, except for my father, to sleep alone. The brothers all sort of bunked at random. Hell, with five of them around, it didn't matter who slept where. But me, I was given a room all to myself. And that night good old daddy walks in the room. He's got this glint in his eye that tells me he's up to no good. What he's up to is my fuckin' cunt, that's what. He doesn't have a damned thing on and I lay there and watch him walk to the bed. He's got a cock on him like a stud mule. Good God, it's as thick around as my arm and hangs down almost to the middle of his thigh. And that night he used that big prick on a virgin twelve-year-old-me.
"He comes over and sits on the bed, and I couldn't take my eyes off that cock of his. Sure, I'd seen a lot of 'em before, but never his. In a family of five brothers, a girl gets used to seeing naked cock. But I'd never expected, or wanted for that matter, to see the old man's.
" 'You sure are lookin' good to me, Laurie,' he says, in a voice that wouldn't cut butter. Then he puts his hand on my belly. I didn't know what was coming off. All I knew was that he was paying some attention to me for the first time in my life -and I liked it.
" 'You know,' he continues, 'I been lonesome since your mother passed on. Seems towards the last she was always sick ... a couple of years she was sick ... and you know a man has some needs.'
"I didn't know what the hell he was talking about, and I just laid there shaking my head like an idiot and sort of grinning ear to ear.
" 'Maybe you'd like to help with those needs,' he says, and I keep on nodding. Christ, what a silly shit I was.
"The hand moved around a little. It felt even better. Then he sort of nonchalantly reaches up and picks up the cover and pulls it back. I'm sleep-in' with a nightgown that goes up to my neck and down to my toes. He starts in feelin' around again on my belly, only this time he's one layer closer to bare skin.
"The nightgown didn't last too long. He picked it up at the bottom and holds it in his hand for a while, all the time still rubbin' up my belly with his other hand. 'This is real pretty,' he says.
" 'It was mom's,' I say, proud as punch, and the next thing I knew he had his hand down on my pussy, on the outside of the nightgown. That felt even better than on my belly. Then with his other hand he's moving up my leg, real slow like.
"I looked over at his big prick and my eyes widened. The goddamned thing was getting bigger. And it was starting to stick up in the air. 'You like that cock?' the bid man asked. I looked at him and nodded. 'You want to touch it?'
"I gingerly reached over and let my fingers brush against his cock. Man, he shuddered like a leaf on a tree and his hand tightened on my leg. He even hurt me a little, but he didn't give a shit how much he hurt.
" 'Put your hand around it,' he said, and I did what I was told. Hell, I always had before, why be different now? And I gotta admit I was interested in that cock. I liked the way it was sort of weaving around in the air as it got longer and wider and harder. I put my hand around it, but didn't make it all the way around.
" 'Now move your hand up and down,' he says, only now his voice is like a real hoarse whisper. He sounded like I was hurtin' him.
"I moved my hand up and down on his cock until it was hard as a piece of rock. That's when he really started in on me. It wouldn't have been so bad if he had me jack him off and get his rocks off that way. I mean, the first time-sort of break me in easy. But hell no, that wasn't what he did. He went all the way the first time!
"He pulled the nightgown up until the whole thing was bunched around my neck. I'm layin' on the bed stark naked except for what's around my neck. Hell, I was just beginning to develop little rosebud tits and was still skinny as hell. But my cunt hairs were kinda thick, so I guess he figured I was ready to get fucked. Anyway, that sure as hell was what he did to me.
"He had his hand down at my pussy now and slowly he pushed one of his big, calloused fingers inside a little way. Even that much stretched me, and hurt some, so you can guess what pain I had when he was shovin' that big pecker of his inside just a few minutes later. With his other hand he was pinchin' my tits on the nipples. Then he leaned over and took one of the nipples in his mouth. He tongued the brown spot and then bit the nipple real gentle like. The pleasure I got out of that sure made up for the discomfort I was feelin' from having his finger in my box. For a while anyway, but in a few minutes, he added another finger. Now let me tell you, the old man had fingers the size of an average man's cock. So you figure that out. Here I was, a twelve-year-old kid who'd never had her own finger up her pussy, and now she had the equivalent of two cocks jamming up into her. How that did hurt!
"But nothin' was stopping the old man by this time. He was crazy. I started to whimper a little when he stuck that second finger in, but his only answer was to add still another one. Three goddamned big fingers stuck in my cunt. Then he started to move them in and out, faster all the time, finger fucking me like there was no tomorrow. Christ, did that hurt!
"I was cryin' by that time, and I started to yell at him to stop, but he closed my mouth real fast. He lifted the hand he's been usin' on my tits and slammed me one across the mouth. I know he broke the skin because there was dried blood on my lip the next morning. Course it wasn't anything compared to the blood I had drippin' out of my cunt.
" 'I'm just gettin' your pretty little pussy all ready,' he said. His voice was smooth as oil now. He was all fired hot. His cock was standing way up, almost touching his belly, and believe me, it was big and red and throbbing. He kept movin' in and out of my cunt faster and faster. 'C'mon, little girl,' he said, 'let's get a little wet so we can have a good time.'
"Now a good time was something I don't ever remember havin', at least not until I got out of that goddamned house, so my ears perked up. The old man talkin' about a 'good time'! Something had to be wrong. But I was agreeable. If only it didn't hurt too much.
"I guess my relaxin' made the juices start to flow, because within just a few seconds, his fingers were sliding in and out with a lot less friction, and almost no pain. That made him happy, because he was grinning from ear to ear.
" 'You know what I'm gonna do?' he asks. I shook my head. 'I'm gonna put this big cock of mine into your fucking hot, little pussy,' he said. 'You're gonna like it a lot, Laurie.'
"Let me tell you, I didn't like it. But there wasn't a hell of a lot I could do, especially with him between my thighs, and my legs up on his shoulders. My cunt was open and ready for the fuck-and he gave it to me.
"I fought him from the time the head of his cock got inside me. I never felt pain like that in my life, and I hope I never do again. I can only say one thing in the bastard's favor: He went as slow as his excitement would let him. He didn't shove the cock straight in. No, he waited for the second time to do that. The first time he just sort of inched his way in, one inch at a time.
"Christ, I was being split up the middle. I felt a fiery wave of pain wrack my whole body. He never let up. He'd push a little, hesitate just a short while, and then jam another inch of that cock up in my pussy. I thought he'd never get in. I looked up at him once. 'Please, stop,' I begged, but it was like talkin' to a wall. His eyes were shut and there was a real dreamy look on his face, with sweat all over his forehead. I tell you, he was one hot, horny man.
"I struggled as much as I could and I let out yelps of pain, but that didn't stop him. All the movin' around I did only made him feel the fuck more, but I didn't know I was givin' him a better time.
" 'Christ, you're the tightest little piece of tail I've ever had,' he shouted. By this time he was in all the way and was moving in and out. It honest to God felt like I had his cock all the way up to my chest. I was literally filled with prick. Then he started to move faster and faster. The pain was so bad by that time that I guess I passed out.
"I don't remember him coming. All I know is that when I woke up, he was gone and the bed was a mess. It was all bloody and sticky. His come had leaked out of my cunt onto the bed. I didn't know what it was and thought it had come from me. I knew for sure he'd broken something important and was sure I'd die. And I guess I didn't mind dying, though I cried the whole damned night."
A father sexually molesting his own daughter, a crime made all the more terrible by the awful effects which his repeated attacks had on the subsequent life of the young girl.
Laura was embittered by the experience. She had every right to be. From the age of twelve to approximately the age of eighteen, she was a virtual sexual slave to her father, and also, to a limited degree, to her brothers. She knew no life outside this sexual enslavement. She learned no skills and acquired no education, so when she finally did escape from this unbearable situation, she was left with no alternatives. She had only her body; to live she must sell it. When "selling" herself to her family was no longer tolerable, Laura sought other avenues-and found herself in even more trouble.
We must, however, return to the prime instigator of this familial tragedy: the father. Why? Why would a man perpetrate such a despicable crime on his own child, especially with no cooperation from the child? A hint to the reason for his actions might be found in something Laura mentioned casually in her interview. She was the youngest, child. She had five older brothers. That would tend to put her father's age at between forty and fifty. Also mentioned was the fact that Laura's mother had been ill for several years before her death. We can imply from that that the man enjoyed no sexual relations at all with the mother during that period.
With those two facts in mind, let's examine the statement of Dr. Frank S. Caprio in his work, The Sexually Adequate Male:
As a man enters the years of middle age, a gradual change takes place in his personality. This depersonalization of transformation of mental reactions is referred to by the medical profession as the "Climacterium Virile" or the "Male Menopause". ... Men reaching this critical age suffer a series of psychic symptoms, such as impulsiveness, memory impairment, despondency and depression with a tendency to melancholia, or excess elation, increased sexual hunger and unstable emotional reactions. Within Dr. Caprio's description of this "Male Menopause" may be the secret to the bizarre actions of Laura's father. At his age, the endocrine secretions of the male genitals, the testicular hormones, that are believed to be responsible for the promotion of physical vigor and mental initiative, gradually diminish.
Perhaps-and remember it is only a perhaps-that systematic deterioration of the father's sexual powers, his awareness of that deterioration, and his psychological reaction to that awareness may all be factors in producing his criminal and unacceptable actions.
The first question most people would ask is, "Why don't all men who are victims of this deterioration react the same way?" That of course is a question which can only be answered in an individual case. Perhaps the years of sexual frustration with his wife and his awareness that his sexual prowess was in a decline triggered the father's actions. Perhaps he had lusted after his daughter for years and was kept from sating his lust only by the presence of the protective mother.
We may never know. To ask why a man acts like he does is, in most cases, asking the unanswerable question. And the answer may be enigmatic.
The most terrible aspect of the actions that were described is the damage done to the victim. She suffered through six years of enslavement, unable to understand that what she was being forced to do was wrong. Having known nothing else, her life became the universal norm: It was right because it was all she knew. When, however, she became aware of the horror in which society holds the actions she had been forced into, she rebelled. She had never been happy; now she knew why. But society, while willing to admit its horror at her previous way of life, was in no way able to understand why she pursued the type of life she next went into: Prostitution.
What else did she know? What else could she do? Society has no answers for this pitiable girl except to incarcerate her " ... for a period not to exceed six months." A terrible injustice.
"The morning after that first night, the old man was all apologies. I can remember my brothers' jaws dropping in amazement when the old man told me at the breakfast table he was 'sorry.'
"Maybe he was sorry-but I was sorrier. My insides felt like they'd been cut up with a dull knife. The fucking bastard really ripped me up.
"For a couple of days, things went normally, which for me meant working my ass off about eighteen hours a day. I was the only woman on the farm. My nitwit brothers, even though the oldest was twenty-three, didn't have no girl friends. They just worked and ate and slept. Then later they added a little diversion to their schedule and threw a fuck my way every once in a while.
"So with no women around, that meant three meals a day for six men and myself-plus all the other bullshit jobs around the place. I can remember really feeling sorry for myself those first few weeks, especially after Mom died and I was taken out of school. God, I had a rotten, shitty childhood.
"But as I said, for three days things were normal. After his first burst of apologies, the old man didn't say anything, and eventually my cunt healed up. I was almost back in shape when the next episode in daughter-father fucking took place.
"The setting was the same. My bedroom. This time I was asleep when the old man snuck in. Christ, working as hard as I did, I died as soon as my head hit the pillow. The bad part was that I was sleeping on my back-pussy up, I guess you could say, or at least it was in striking distance.
"Of course, being asleep, I don't remember the preliminaries, but I guess it happened something like this. He came in, probably bare-assed, with his cock hard, because he sure as hell knew what he was in there for.
"Like I said, he came in and got on the bed. You'd think a big slob like him putting all his weight on the bed would've woke me up, but it didn't. I didn't even wake up all the way when he put his finger up in my cunt. But I do remember it felt good. I do remember that, so I must have been at least half awake when that happened.
"The son of a bitch took the covers off, raised up my nightgown, aimed his cock and plowed it into my pussy without one second's hesitation. All the way in, with one lunge. It was enough to kill me.
I was awake now and yelling my head off. I screamed and screamed, and when he put his hand on my mouth, I shook it off and screamed some more. I hurt so bad I thought I'd die. I don't know why I didn't pass out. If there was a God, he sure should have let me, because nobody should be made to bear that much pain.
"I guess I screamed so loud that I woke up my brothers. A couple of them came runnin' into the room to see what the matter was. I saw them stan-din' there at the door. Their jaws were hangin' down to their knees. I guess it was a pretty shocking sight, the old man plowin' his cock into my cunt like a piston and me screamin' like an Indian.
"I don't think any of my brothers had ever seen me naked before. They just stood there and watched as the old man kept plugging! Finally he yelled for them to get the hell out, but they didn't, at least not for a long time. They were watching their sister getting fucked with a big, hard cock-and the old man didn't miss a stroke. The whole goddamn world could have been watching and he would've kept on with that mad fucking.
"Eventually, though, the pain sort of went away a little and I started to feel some pleasant heat building up in my pussy. The old man had his hand on me, playing around with my tits, while the other one was buried in my cunt hairs. It was really weird, feeling the pain go away and all of a sudden starting to like what he was doin'.
"He kept up his attack for a long time, and then pulled that long dick out of me all the way. It slurped when the tip pulled out, I remember. Then he flipped me over on my stomach and spread my legs as wide as possible.
"When he shoved his cock back in this way, from the rear, there wasn't any pain. It just slid in nice and smooth. I still felt like I was stuffed with the fuckin' dong, but at least I was gettin' a little enjoyment out of it now.
"I guess he noticed the change, 'cause he looked down at me and said, "That feel good, Laurie?' Well, it didn't feel really great yet, but it was better than before, so I nodded my head. I looked over to the door and saw that three of my brothers were still standing there. They were all naked and their cocks were standing out straight as trees. Christ, they were all big.
"The old man followed my look and raised all kinds of hell at my brothers for still being there. He yelled and cussed at them, but he still didn't miss a stroke. He was going in and out of my cunt with a fast but smooth, even stroke. He was plunging all the way in and then pulling almost all the way out.
"I could feel that prick sliding in and out of me, and I'll be damned if I didn't get to really feelin' hot. I mean I could feel this pleasure building up in me. Now I was moanin' because I liked what he was doin' to me. And I guess the old man sensed what was happening because all of a sudden he's grinnin' down at me. 'You're gonna come too, you hear, Laurie?'
"I didn't know what the shit he was talkin' about but I nodded and kept on enjoying that cock working inside of me. The old man's prick was really plugging me. He'd pull that monster all the way out and then aim it inside. He just about ripped my fuckin' pussy off-but I liked it.
"Then I sort of felt him go a little soft. I mean, right in the middle of his fucking, his prick started to slack off some. It was still big, but it wasn't rock hard like it'd been before. The old man tried moving even faster in and out of me, squeezing my tits even harder. He even leaned down, his ass still bucking against my cunt, and kissed me hard on the lips. His tongue flew inside my mouth and I damned near choked on the thing.
"The amazing thing about the old man was that he never missed a stroke, whether his cock was wilting on the vine, or whether he was bawlin' the hell out of my brothers, or whether he was leanin' over kissing me. He still kept up that steady, solid stroke that was driving me up the wall.
"But then that smooth, steady stroke came to a stop, and the old man got upright on his knees and pulled his cock out.
"The pecker was still big as hell, but it wasn't hard. He'd gone soft while he was fucking me. Strangest thing. It kinda upset him, too-you could tell that. He looked down at his cock for a few seconds and then got off the bed. I didn't want him to leave. I honest to God wanted that prick back in my pussy. I wanted to feel it sliding in and out, caressing my insides like the hardest, greatest hand in the world.
"I was really kinda scared that I'd done something wrong and that he was going to leave me. But that wasn't what he had in mind. He just stood by the side of the bed and held his cock out towards me. 'Put your mouth on this, Laurie,' he said. I looked up at him and was scared shitless. I knew enough to know that what he was asking me was wrong. I didn't want to do it. But again, the old man wasn't about to take no for an answer. He reached down and grabbed me behind my head and pulled up so that my face was stuck against his cock. 'Take it in your mouth,' he said again, only this time it was an order.
"I still refused. I guess it was just instinct, but I knew sucking on his cock was wrong. Just like I knew his fucking me was wrong, but I'd gotten to enjoy that. I shook my head. No, sir, I thought, he's not going to get that cock in my mouth.
"But good old Daddy had other ideas. And he was getting excited again. His prick was starting to raise up and, man, that's when it exploded all over the place. It got wider and thicker and longer, and it turned the damndest shade of red.
"He still had his hand behind my head and with his other hand he was trying to force his prick inside my mouth. I had my lips closed tighter than a drum. I wasn't going to take it. Then he reached down and grabbed hold of my tits. He squeezed them so goddamned hard, and hurt me so goddamned much, that I screamed out. It wasn't a long scream, because it very shortly was muffled by a big tube of meat being stuffed inside my mouth.
"We stopped then, for a couple of seconds, me with my mouth full of cock and him standing there looking at me, trying to decide whether I could take the whole thing in my mouth or whether he should be content with the half that I already did have. Then he started shoving a little, getting maybe another inch in.
"I was thinking I'd show the bastard and bite down on that cock as hard as I could. That'd put him out of action for a good long while. But to be honest with ya, I was scared to do it. I knew he'd beat me to within an inch of my life. And besides, when you got right down to it, having a cock in your mouth isn't half as bad after you once get it as you think it's going to be. At least for me it wasn't.
"There I was, held halfway sitting up by his hand in my hair, his cock more than half imbedded in my mouth. It would have been a funny scene if he wasn't so goddamned serious about the whole thing. 'Suck on it,' he shouted, and I sort of real nervously put some pressure on the prick with my mouth. 'Suck it like it was a straw,' he shouted again. Christ, this scene really heated him up. His cock was blazing hot and hard as steel again.
"He'd told me to suck on it like it was a straw. I'll tell you, that was the biggest straw ever created. But I did what he told me. I started to pretend that at the other end of that cock was a big chocolate malted and I started to suck on that straw like crazy.
"It really tasted kind of weird. I know now that what I was tasting was both him and myself. My own pussy juice. Boy, there's a treat for a twelve-year-old. The more I sucked the hotter he got. Man, I ran my tongue around the top of his cock and then down the sides. I followed a big fuckin' vein on it with my tongue, lapping and flicking with my tongue all the way. I had the old man sailin' now.
"But he pulled out. His cock was twitching like crazy. 'Suck my balls,' he shouted, then he pushed my head down between his legs. His big hairy balls were staring me in the face. I didn't know exactly what to do with them, so I followed my instincts.
"I took one ball at a time and sucked it into my mouth. The hairs he had down there tickled my tongue, felt good. Then I'd gently suck on each ball, one at a time, moving from one to the other.
"That's when I heard from another county. One of my brothers-three of them were still standing by the door, jackin' off like crazy-starts yellin' out, 'Christ, look at that crazy bitch lick.'
"I guess the old man had forgotten they were there, but when he heard that voice, he stopped and pushed my head away. I was grateful for that. I needed to get some air back in my lungs. I'd been stuck too long down there between his hairy legs. I surfaced!
" 'Get your fuckin' asses out of here,' the old man shouted at my brothers. They still didn't move. He started walking towards them. I knew if he caught them, he'd most likely kill them, or come close to it. They knew it too, because they didn't let him get no closer than maybe ten feet before they scampered back to their own beds. They didn't want to leave. Shit, no, they wanted to see their own sister getting fucked, but I guess self-preservation got the best of them.
"As soon as they were out of the room, the old man shut the door and came back to the bed. His cock was still hard and you could tell he was sort of anxious by this time to get his rocks off. He got up on the bed and between my legs again. Up went my legs to his shoulders.
" 'Now I want you to relax, Laurie,' he said. 'Get good and relaxed, so's you can enjoy this as much as I do. I want you to come with me.'
"I tried to do as he said. I tried to relax my body. 'Just pay attention to the pleasure my prick's giving you,' he said. That made it easy. I just lay there, closed my eyes and let myself feel him slide that cock inside my pussy. He did it real slow. I could feel the cock inching up inside me. It felt wonderful. It really did. I mean when you concentrate on wanting something to be enjoyable, it most always is. And being in that frame of mind, he sure did set me off. Didn't take no time at all. He just banged me for about another minute and I felt this big swell start to build up inside of me. Christ, all of a sudden I wanted that cock more than anything else in the world. I wanted it in for the rest of my life.
"I thrashed around on the bed, pressing myself down, trying to get that prick farther up in me while the old man went on fucking and fucking. Finally, when I didn't think I could take the pleasure anymore, I felt my body being wracked by wave after wave of pleasure. I know I moaned like crazy. I had to. I had to let the world know just how wonderful I was feelin'.
"And then I heard the old man start to groan. He bucked against my cunt and then stuck that pole of his as far as he could inside. He moaned and groaned and shot seventeen bucketfuls into my cunt. I felt it inside me, warm, hot, searing. It turned me on even more and I just laid there and groaned. I didn't care if he kept on fucking me for the rest of my life.
"But he was finished. He was sweating like crazy and panting. He had a hard time getting his breath. Finally, he pulled out of me. You should have heard the noise his cock made pulling out of me this time. It sounded like a cork being jerked out of a big bottle. It almost made me laugh. I was so wet and slippery, it was a wonder he managed to stay in at all.
"He sort of stumbled off the bed and headed out of my bedroom. He had to hold on to the door before he could get out. I guess that fuck took a hell of a lot out of the old man. I didn't see him-at night, that is-for almost a week. You gotta remember, the old man wasn't a young chicken."
Biological research has presented us with concrete evidence that there is no such thing as a vaginal, clitoral, or any other special kind of orgasm, but only a difference in degree of intensity that an orgasmic experience may assume.
And yet in the preceding case history we have the instance of a young woman who states that at the age of twelve, under the most adverse of circumstances, she enjoyed an orgasm. In other words, she "came."
Is this possible?
Even before natural scientists got seriously interested in the subject of female sexual response, cultural anthropologists like Margaret Mead had found that whether a woman is going to experience orgasm or not in her sexual relations depends not only on physical factors, but even more on where she happens to have been born and brought up. In other words, whether the woman will ever experience the kind of physical and mental stimulation that is most likely to lead to orgasm depends to a large extent on the accident of birth and the culture in which she has been raised.
In the words of Margaret Mead, the ability to achieve orgasm is a "potential that may or may not be developed by a given culture." As Dr. Mead explains, in her opinion the female orgasm does not rest on the same simple reflex basis as the male orgasm, but involves a number of learned responses. It is due to these learned responses, theoretically, that a given culture may develop in a woman.
But this explanation, in turn, becomes wholly satisfactory only if we combine it with what the biological experts now tell us about the physical aspects of the female sexual response. If we listen to them, and their arguments are extremely convincing, virtually any woman can be brought to orgasm, providing effective stimulation is applied.
Thus, although the possibility of Laura's attaining an orgasm seems remote to us under our familiar social environments, we must assume that she was telling the truth. She did experience an orgasm, granted. But why?
The answer must be, if we are to believe the almost overwhelming proof of biological scientists, that Laura was sexually stimulated by the brutality and the perversity of her situation. But why then her disparaging references to her father and brothers?
As related in the following interview with the young girl, Laura became aware of society's attitude towards what was happening to her in her home. Before that she was content! Why else would she allow herself to be placed in a situation of sexual enslavement for a period of almost six years? In laymen's terms, the situation turned her on.
It was only when Laura reached the age of seventeen, and after she became aware of her socially unacceptable situation that Laura rebelled. The following section of her case history indicates how she fit willingly into the social environment that was pressed on her.
"Things went along that way for a couple of months. The old man would visit my room about once a week and we always did the same things. He'd play around with my tits for a little while, until his pole was stiff, and then stick it in. He seemed to especially like plungin' the whole length of his dick into me at once. That always hurt a little bit, even after I'd been at the game for years, but I liked it. I liked the way the pain would give way to a little hot feeling down in my pussy. And then that little hot feeling would get bigger and bigger until I'd just explode all over the place. The old man liked it when I came. So did I.
"All this while I knew that my brothers were catching an eyeful from the next room. I told you these guys were nitwits. They must have thought I was one too, because the idiots drilled five holes in the wall of my room, one for each of them. I guess they didn't think I'd see the holes or something. Shit, the draft I got from those five big peek-holes was enough to freeze my twat.
"I eventually got to wondering what all those brothers did to get their nuts off. It didn't bother me any, I mean them not havin' any women around. To be honest, I didn't give one shit about any of them -except maybe Saul. He's the youngest, closest to my age. Those other bastards never did one thing for me, and me all the time cooking for them and cleaning up their goddamned messes. Anyway, as I said, it crossed my mind every once in a while about what those big goofs did for sex. I knew they got some kicks from seeing me get fucked, but watching ain't the same as doing. At least I don't think it is. I guess maybe for some people it is, but not for me.
"I did get a hint about their way of getting jollies one day when I was down at the barn. I heard a lot of noise coming from the inside. I knew it was none of my business lookin' in there, but goddamned it, I was curious. I took a peek through the crack near the door. Two of my brothers were inside, David, the oldest, and Toby, the middle one. Now you gotta believe this, David is twenty-three years old and not a bad-lookin' guy at all. I mean, there are a lot of girls who'd like to get on their back for him and have him drive that big prick of his up their cunts. But he don't do anything about that. Women he don't touch. Sheep are his thing, or at least they were that day.
"Him and Toby were laughin' and havin' a ball in the barn. They had this old female sheep standing real gentle like in front of them. Both the boys had their pricks out of their pants and they were taking turns ramming it into that sheep. Shit, that animal didn't make much of a fuss at all. One of them would hold her and the other one would fuck her. Easy as that. Then they'd trade places. I watched for a while, long enough to see them shoot their loads up in that sheep's pussy. Funny, after they were finished, that sheep followed them to the door. She acted like she wanted more. Hell, she acted like she was in love with them. Then I got to thinking, after seeing that sheep walking around looking for more cock, that I was the same way with the old man. He couldn't give me enough.
"But anyway, it struck me as sort of disgusting that two grown men had to rely on a dumb animal as a source of fucking. I mean, for crissakes, you'd think they could do better than that.
"And I guess that's what they were thinking too, because they started doin' something about it when the old man went into town on his monthly trip. He usually loaded up on supplies for the whole month-you know, things we couldn't raise on the farm and yet couldn't do without. He would drive in, buy everything, spend the night and drive back the next morning. He never let any of us, not even the boys, go with him.
"So that left me and my brothers alone in the house. And this is after they'd been watching me get my cunt fucked for about six weeks. I mean, they knew what was going on, but good.
"By the way, during that short period, when the old man was sticking his prick to me regular-like, I'd started to develop real fast. I don't know if it was the fucking or the old man's mauling of my tits, but I was getting a pretty set of boobs on me. And my hips were spreading out nicely. I didn't look like no fucking little boy anymore down there around my ass. I guess his big prick pushin' up in there widened me out some. At least it didn't hurt any.
"Anyway, there were the six of us in the house alone. I didn't think anything of it, since not one of the brothers had ever made one sign or anything that they'd like to get in on what the old man was doing. At least, for a while they didn't.
"I fixed dinner for them, as usual, and then cleaned up. They'd all taken off for wherever they went after supper. Some late chores. Things like that. That was the kind of family we were. I didn't know what they were doing, and they didn't know what I was doing. And we all sort of liked it that way.
"Just as I was about finished up with the dishes Saul came into the kitchen. He's just two years older than I am, and if I'm close with anybody in the family, it's him. He was a really beautiful boy, tall and good-looking. I enjoyed being around him. Course, with those ass-hole brothers of mine, if he spent too much time with me, they would've made remarks, call him a sissy and things like that.
"Saul walked up in back of me and put his hand on my waist. I turned around real quick because I thought maybe the old man had come home early. I never expected it to be one of my brothers touching me. None ever had before. But it was Saul and when I saw him, I smiled. He thanked me for the supper, said it was fine. I thanked him for thanking me. I mean, that's the kind of stuff we said in our family. We had to make up things to say just to keep on talkin'. It was really weird.
"But I knew something was on Saul's mind that didn't have anything to do with supper or how it tasted. After we boxed around some words for a little while longer, I just came right out and asked Saul what the problem was. What did ne want?
" 'Well,' Saul stammered, so embarrassed that his head was hanging down, 'the boys and I were wondering, since Pa's gone, if you mind if one of us took his place.'
"I asked him what he meant, although I had an inkling what he was leading up to. " 'I mean ... you know ... in bed.' "I chased him out of the kitchen with a knife in my hand. Too much is too much. I'll cook for them, clean up for them, let the old man plug away at me if it keeps him happy, but I was damned if I was gonna become a sheep for those five big gorillas.
"I didn't know it, but that's exactly what I was going to be in a very short time.
"Saul must have gone back and told the rest of them that it was no dice, 'cause there were more long, sorrowful looks in that house that night than there'd been in a long time, ever since Mom died. But I didn't care. Shit on 'em. What'd they ever do for me?
"I climbed into bed that night, as tired as usual. I knew there wasn't gonna be no visit from the old man, but I got into bed naked anyway. The old man told me to do that. Said it took less time. He was really a romantic old fucker.
"Then too, I was getting to the point of liking my body, a whole hell of a lot. And I got a lot of pleasure out of looking at it in the mirror. I looked good naked. I enjoyed lookin' at myself.
"As usual, as soon as my head hit the pillow, I was out. But not for long. I had a couple of visitors-five of them, as a matter-of-fact. All five fucking brothers came into the room. They sounded like a herd of elephants, so I didn't stay asleep too long. Just one of them tripping along the hallway in their size twelve feet was enough to make me wake up, so you know how much noise all five of them made tracking into my bedroom.
"I asked what the hell they wanted, although I didn't say 'hell,' because at that time I didn't cuss at all. The old man wouldn't let me.
"They all stood against the wall, lookin' kind of shy. You see, they still all had their clothes on. Like I told you, that time they stood there and watched the old man fuck me was the first and only time I'd seen any of them naked and excited -except maybe for that time in the barn when I was spyin' on David and Toby.
"I asked them again what they wanted and this time David got some guts and spoke up. 'We was wonderin', ' he says, 'if maybe you didn't want some company in your bed tonight.'
"I asked him what he had in mind.
" 'Me!' he says, and he stands there grinnin' like a big old fuckin' cat. The other boys joined in with a laugh.
" 'No thanks,' I said. 'And good night.' I flipped over on my side and acted like I couldn't have cared less whether they lived or died. Which was about the truth-except maybe for Saul. But they weren't about to give up. David walked over to the bed and put his hand on my ass through the covers. He started working his fingers around in a circle, massaging the globes of my ass. It felt good so I didn't try to shake his hand off right away. That was a mistake, because when I did try to shake him off, just a couple of seconds later, it was too late.
"I guess I got him mad, because when I tried to get him to stop, he just took the covers and pulled them off me. There I was, naked to the world, with those five brothers all standing there, staring at me. I told them to get the hell out, but they weren't gonna move, at least not without a pistol at their back.
"David just stood by the side of the bed, massaging his prick through his trousers. He sure did have a long one, too, because I could see the bulge of it growing down his pants leg. I tried to get the covers back, but David wasn't havin' any of that.
" 'Get out of here,' I yelled, but that only seemed to turn him on more. He pulled open his trousers and let his prick fall out. Spring out is more like it. It was harder than hell. 'Suck on it, Laurie,' he said, sounding like a goddamned little kid asking for a lollipop. Twenty-three years old and sound in' like a kid!
"I told him no. Just like that. No. And for him to get out and leave me alone, and to take those other morons with him.
" 'C'mon, Laurie. I seen you take the old man's cock. It won't hurt you any to take mine.' He was holding his steel-hard cock out in front of him, offering it to me. I looked at it and felt that small, hot feeling start to grow in me-but something held me back. I knew that if I started in with David, I'd be up for grabs with all of them. I wasn't lookin' forward to that, I'll tell you.
"I tried to smother that hot feeling that was starting in my pussy by turning my back on him. Then I felt him sit down on the edge of the bed. He took his hand and stuck it between my legs, inching his way to my cunt. Man, I had goose pimples all over me when he did that. I kept saying, 'Cut that out, David! Cut that out!' but I really didn't mean it. That hot feeling was getting bigger and bigger.
"Pretty soon he had his fist at the entrance to my pussy. I could feel the ends of his fingers brush against the hair. That felt so good.
"And then suddenly I realized what was happening. These guys were all going to want to fuck me. I'd be nothin' but a goddamned slave. None of that shit for me, I thought. I turned around real fast and slapped David as hard as I could across the face. That surprised the hell out of him, 'cause he took his hand away from my pussy and stood up. I could see the red mark I'd left on his face.
"Then all of a sudden, he got mad. Really mad. 'You're gonna suck this cock, whore,' he shouted, 'and then you're gonna open your legs and I'm gonna fuck hell out of you.'
"I yelled back something about holding him off until hell freezes over. But he wasn't takin' no for an answer this time. He fell right on top of my body, full length. Now, like I said, David wasn't no runt. He must have weighed up around two hundred pounds, and when he let his body fall, plop, it knocked the wind out of me. Only for a few seconds, but that was all that bastard needed. He yelled over to Toby. 'Hold this goddamned cunt for me, will ya, Tob?' Toby, that ass licker, came over and grabbed hold of my arms. Another brother, one I didn't even see, did the same things on my legs. David stood up by the side of the bed. 'Pull her head over the side,' he said, and Toby yanked and pulled at me until my head was all the way off the bed, hangin' straight down.
"Then David started waving that goddamned prick of his in my face. If anything, he was bigger than the old man-and he was harder. I could tell that just by lookin' at it. He wedged that big chunk of meat up to my teeth, but I wouldn't open up. He reached down and grabbed hold of my tits. He squeezed one so hard I thought it was gonna rip off. 'I'm gonna pull on that goddamned tit of yours until you open your mouth and suck on this cock,' he said real loud. I could hear he was breathin' heavy.
"I opened my eyes and looked at him. Christ, he looked just like the old man the first time he fucked me. Eyes closed, sweat all over his forehead. I knew I had to do what he wanted. There just was no talkin' to a guy when he was desperate for a good suck or fuck.
"I opened up my mouth and right away it was filled with David's cock. He just stood there and shoved that big prick right down my throat. I couldn't have bit on it if I wanted to. That's how big it was and how fast he shoved it down my throat. He stood there, holding on to my ears, and fucked my face with all the force he had. I could feel his balls slammin' against my forehead. He was gagging the shit out of me, but he wouldn't even give me a chance to say anything about it.
"He held on to me and fucked away so hard at my face that I couldn't get any air. If he had kept on for much more time, I probably wouldn't be around to be tellin' this story-but he slackened off because what he really wanted was a chance at my pussy.
"Finally he told the two brothers who were holding me-Toby on one side and I could see that it was Charles on the other-to swing me around and spread my legs. They each took one leg and one arm and swung me around, holding my legs up in the air and spreading them wide open. Then David stripped off his pants and stood staring at my cunt. It was hanging wide open, waiting for him.
"I decided by this time not to struggle, but when I saw the look on his face, I just didn't want him to do what he was planning on doing. I just didn't want him screwing me. And I decided right then and there to put up one hell of a fight.
"Charles was having a little trouble holding on to me on his side, but Toby had such a tight grip that he was hurting me. I guess he got his experience from holding down sheep while David fucked them.
"David was still standing there staring at my cunt. He reached out and put his hand in the cunt hairs, pulling them roughly. 'You sure are a pretty slice of tail,' he said, and then stuck two of his fingers straight down into my dry cunt. That hurt, man, really hurt. All the fuckin' I'd been doin' with the old man hadn't prepared me for this, At least the old man waited until I was wet and slippery.
"I tried kicking around, but by this time, Charles had as tight a hold on me as Toby did. They were smilin' and laughin'. Those fuckers couldn't wait to see me fucked. They probably wanted a turn too.
"Despite my not wanting it to, my pussy started to wet down some. I could tell from the easier way David's fingers fucked me. They were sliding in and out now. No pain. Well, at least I had that going for me. David finally took his fingers out of my cunt and then tied his shirt up around his stomach. He had his hand wrapped around his cock, jacking himself off like crazy. It wasn't as though he had to get ready. Shit, was he ready! His cock was so goddamned stiff it looked like it was going to blow up.
"He got up on the bed between my outstretched legs. He settled himself in real close and aimed his big pole right at my pussy. With one jarring thrust he sent that big prick in the whole length. Man, I thought my head would blow off-he hurt me that bad. You see, I wasn't relaxed. That was one thing the old man had taught me. If I relaxed, then I'd enjoy it too. But I wasn't about to enjoy this bit with David. He was out-and-out raping me, and that made me goddamned mad.
"I fought and fought against the fucking pole, but again, just like I'd done for the old man, the action only made it feel better. And because I wasn't relaxed, my cunt was tight as a drum, which made it feel better to the son-of-a-bitch. He was having a ball.
"He told Charles and Toby to hold my legs farther back, and they moved me so my legs were all the way over the top of my head. My ass, and my pussy, were sticking straight out-ready and waiting to be fucked some more.
"David propped himself up on his hands and came at me from above. This time when he drove into me, he went in even farther, I guess because he had his weight and gravity working with him now. That cock of his pushed and shoved and jammed itself into my insides. I could feel it grating along the inside of my pussy, shoving things out of the way, ramming its way as far in as it could. And it hurt.
"But David kept at it and at it. He never did let up. He never stopped once. He just punched and rammed that cock into me until I was sure I couldn't take one more stroke. And then finally, gratefully, he started to grunt and groan and I knew the end was getting close. He was going to shoot.
"And that's when he surprised me. I guess old David knew more about sex than I thought, because as soon as he was really close, he pulled his goddamned cock out and let his come splatter all over my belly and tits, down in my cunt hairs, on the bed. Some even flew on Charles and Toby. It seems that good old David didn't want to get me pregnant. At least not that first time. After a while, he didn't give a shit if I gave birth to triplets, each one fathered by a different brother.
"He pulled out of me and climbed off the bed. Charles and Toby let loose. 'Anybody else?' David asked and then he laughed.
"I had visions of getting fucked by all five of those creeps, with maybe them comin' back for more, and I didn't want it. So I jumped off the bed and real quick-like I picked up a big pair of scissors that was on the table by the window. 'If any of you come near me,' I screamed, 'I'll cut your heart out.'
"All five of them stood still in shock for a second or two, but then David chuckled. 'Okay, Laurie,' he said. 'We'll let you go tonight. But there'll be other nights. Believe me.'
" 'Not after I tell Pa what you did to me,' I screamed back. I was nearly hysterical, I guess. I hated David. And I hated Toby and Charles for holding me. And I hated all five of them for just being there.
" 'Go ahead and tell him, whore,' David said, still chuckling. 'See what he says.' "I promised to do just that.
"I can remember as if it was yesterday the whole scene when I told my old man about David's raping me. He had just gotten back from town and was sitting in the kitchen drinking a cup of coffee. I was still spitting mad and wanted to get my story out, but when I started, he just held up his hand. 'Give me a minute,' he said. 'I'm tired.'
"Isn't that a bitch? The fucker's only daughter was raped, and he's too tired to talk about it. And besides that, he stayed too tired to talk about it until after supper. Finally, then, I got my say-so.
"I can remember David sitting there looking kind of half scared and half cocky. I spilled out the whole story, what David had made me do, and what he had done to me. I thought I gave myself a pretty good case. In fact, I couldn't help but think of seeing David being tarred and feathered on the back porch. Or maybe not getting any meals for a week. Or maybe even having his goddamned cock cut off.
"The old man looked around the table for a while, not saying anything. Then finally: 'You say David fucked ya while your brothers held you down. That right?'
" 'They raped me! That's what they did!' I shot back.
"The old man stared at me for a whole minute or longer. 'David didn't rape ya,' the old man said at last. 'He fucked ya. And I don't see any cause of alarm in that. That's what you're here for.'
"David smiled from ear to ear and I just about shit in my pants. I was shocked. And I was scared. The old man was just turning me over to my brothers. I mean, if he said it was okay for them to stick their cocks in my mouth and up my pussy, then
SI you could be damned sure they'd do it. There wouldn't be any holding them back now. I started to cry.
" 'No need to cry, Laurie,' the old man said. 'You enjoy it. You told me that yourself.'
" 'With you,' I said. 'Not with them!'
" 'You'll learn to enjoy it with them, too.' That's all he said. The discussion was over. I was community property.
"That night when I went to bed, I was scared stiff. I didn't know who to expect. The old man had fucked me the night before he went to town, so I wasn't expecting him. He'd probably wait another week. But if that door opened, it could be any of the five. Christ, even Saul was looking at me like I was nothin' more than some goddamned hole to stick his cock into. I knew what they all were thinking; I knew I was in for the works, but there wasn't anything I could do. No lock on the door; no way to run. Shit, they'd find me in an hour if I took off for town. So what did I do? Nothin'. I just got into bed and lay there, hoping they'd let me alone, but knowing they wouldn't.
"I was right. Not more than fifteen minutes after I got into bed, the door opened. It was Toby and he wasn't messin' around. He was naked and his cock was already hard. 'I want to fuck you,' he says.
"Now in that ten or fifteen minutes I'd had by myself in my room, I'd come to a decision. I wasn't gonna fight them. If they wanted to fuck, I'd let them. I wasn't gonna get my pussy ripped up fighting them. And from the size of those creeps, that's sure as hell what would've happened.
" 'Okay,' I said to Toby. 'Go ahead.' So he came over to the bed and climbed on. He was just around nineteen and didn't know shit from Shinola about turning a girl on. He just got between my legs and tried to shove his cock up my dry pussy, not getting very far. It hurt like hell.
" 'We drew straws for you, Laurie,' he said after he pulled his cock out, 'and I won. So goddamn it, let me in!'
"I almost laughed at that. He acted as though I was the one keeping him out. It was his own goddamned ignorance that was keeping him out. 'Put your fingers in and play with my pussy for a while. Get it wet, then you'll get in,' I told him.
"He knelt on the bed and shoved first one, then two, then four fingers up my cunt. He was shoving and ramming his fist up there so hard that I wanted to shit. But sure enough, after a good while of all that fingering, the juices start rolling and Laurie's pussy was set to be fucked.
" 'You can put it in now,' I said. Man, I was acting like a real robot. He lifted my legs and shoved his prick inside. It slid the full length on the first stroke. It hurt a little bit but not bad. Toby wasn't as big as David or the old man. He slid his prick in and out about ten times and then moaned as he shot a whole tubful of come into my hole. That was it. Stick it in, ram it in and out, shoot, and hop off. I didn't help him a bit. I didn't enjoy it. I just laid there and let him use me. Christ, it was awful.
" 'Have a good time?' I asked Toby as he climbed off. He just looked at me and smiled. I guess he did.
"I wasn't finished for the night, though. Eventually all the brothers had me, even little Saul.
That fucker had a cock on him that wouldn't stop and he was only fifteen years old.
"I really didn't get excited at all. I just let them get their kicks and then rolled over and went to sleep. When I got up the next morning, the whole sheet was stiff with dried come that had leaked out of my pussy."
Laurie's enslavement to her family lasted for almost six years. Eventually, their enthusiasm at having a constant and docile sexual object wore thin, but their abuse of Laurie's body, while not continuing with the same intensity or frequency with which it had started, was sustained. Laurie bore this assault without complaint or conscience. It was her way of life. She knew no other.
As Laurie entered her seventeenth year, an important visitor arrived at her father's farm. Important to Laurie. It was her mother's sister. Everyone, including the father, was on his best behavior. No one mentioned Laurie in a sexual context, and there were no visitors to her room, at least not for the first few days.
By this time Laurie had grown into an attractive young woman. Her figure was perfect, and her face was pleasant. All the other members of her family had, of course, also gotten a few years older by this time. The father seldom made visits to Laurie's bedroom. She had become the exclusive property of her brothers.
Saul, her youngest brother, was now twenty. He was at the height of his sexual awareness. And the years of readily available sex had conditioned his body to expect it. The sex drive became so strong in him, in fact, that despite the admonition of his father to stay away from Laurie during the aunt's visit, he found, after only a few days, that he could not contain himself.
Saul visited Laurie's bedroom late, expecting everyone else to be asleep.
"I can remember Saul putting his finger to his lips as he climbed into bed with me. He didn't want to wake anybody in the house. Especially my aunt.
"I moved over to let him in. If the truth be known, I had missed sex almost as much as he had. You get that way after a couple of years of having cock poured to you steady. I lowered my hand and wrapped it around Saul's big cock. Like I told you before, he was big. He was big when he was a fifteen-year-old kid, and he was even bigger now. In fact, he had the biggest goddamned cock in the whole family, which is really saying something.
"And I had a special feeling for Saul. I liked him more than all the rest. Although he didn't treat me any different than the others, I always enjoyed being with him. But I had bad news for him tonight. I was on the rag. Wasn't that a bitch?
"He looked at me like I had just shot him in the balls. 'I'm sorry,' I said.
" 'Suck it then,' he said. He put his hand behind my head and pushed it down to his cock. I gobbled it in. You see, by this time I wanted sex almost as bad as they did-as much and as many times as I could get it. How else would you expect me to be? Christ, six years of being nothin' but a dumpin' ground for their goddamned come. Christ, I'd sucked more cock in those six years than there's fish in the ocean. I'd had one at a time, two at a time, three, four, five at a time. I'd had my cunt, my ass, my hands and my mouth all working at once. I was a goddamned sex machine.
"While I was sucking him, Saul reached down and started feeling around on my pussy, but I pushed his hand away. Like I told you, I was on the rag and I get pretty messy.
"But Saul was looking for somewhere to put his cock. He didn't really go for blow jobs. Then he started foolin' around with my ass-hole while I'm goin' for broke with his cock, takin' it all the way down my throat, wrapping my tongue around it, lickin' it, lappin' it and suckin' it. And he's gettin' hot, I could tell that.
"He shoved one of his fingers up my ass, something I'd never really had up there before. A couple of times one of my brothers would threaten to fuck me there, but it didn't happen. They might hump me a little back there, or make me lick their ass-holes, but that was as far as I'd go.
"But this time, I went a little farther. Like I said, while I was sucking him off, Saul was sticking his finger up my ass, real gentle like, not hurting me. Then he leaned over and got some cold cream off my nightstand. He smeared a big gob all over my ass and then ran his finger in again. It felt pretty good. And I could tell the finger action in my ass was turning him on even more. His cock was rock hard, jerking around in my mouth. I figured he was close to shooting, and I was getting ready. I'd come to love the feel of hot come pourin' into my mouth. I'd drink it like water if I could. All except the old man's. His come is bitter. But Saul's was the best, and I was looking forward to swallowing a quart of it.
"But just about when I thought I had him ready, he pulls his cock out of my mouth and pushes me away. I give him a look that says, 'What's the matter?'
" 'Let me try it in the ass, Laurie. Let me fuck you in the ass. I'll go real slow. It won't hurt.'
"Now it might be hard to believe that I let him do it, but you gotta remember that I was hot from sucking him off, and that I really liked Saul. I wanted him to have fun. So, after thinking it over for a little while, I flipped over and offered my ass to him.
"He took up on the offer real fast, slapping some more cold cream on my ass, pushing some inside with his finger, and then putting a whole mess of the cream on his cock. I turned around and watched. His big prick was standing up straight and tall, almost touching his belly, and the whole thing was glistening, both with my spit and the cream. It was a sight that really turned me on.
" 'Get on your hands and knees,' he told me. I got up and supported myself, sticking my ass straight out into the air. He couldn't have missed it if he was blind. He took his thumb and stuck it up my ass. He moved it in and out a couple of times. It was pretty tight back there. 'Relax,' he said, 'and it won't hurt at all.'
"I don't know where he got his information, but it did hurt, a hell of a lot, especially when he was shoving to get that big cock of his lodged in. He got the head in without much trouble and that didn't really bother me, but when he shoved kind of hard and I felt about three inches slide into that tight, little hole, I yelled for him to take it easy. Lucky for me he did. He'd push a little, getting a little more in, and then stop and let me get used to it. Christ, it was like sitting on a goddamned fence post. Every time he'd shove more of his cock in, I'd let out a halfway scream, just to let him know what a favor I was doing for him.
"He'd just got that hard piece of meat shoved all the way up my ass-hole, with me still on my hands and knees, ass sticking up waiting and wanting to get fucked, when old auntie walks in the room. We didn't hear her come in. All we heard was her saying, 'My God, what's going on in here?'"
Laura's aunt got the entire story of Laura's life the next morning. Needless to say the woman was speechless. Her first impulse was to lash out at her brother-in-law, which she did, until that man said very simply, "If you mention a word of this, I'll kill you!" And he meant it.
Laura next asked her aunt if she could leave with her, go with her to her home in Colorado. The woman was a true product of her society; she refused Laura's request. The aunt was quick to condemn but still unwilling to help.
Our bureaucratic society functions in much the same way.
After the aunt had explained to Laura how terrible her conduct had been, Laura was filled with self-loathing. She couldn't stand to even look at herself in a mirror. From what she tells of her actions subsequent to her aunt's departure, she was on the brink of a serious nervous breakdown.
The only benefit Laura received from her aunt was a present, a twenty-dollar bill. The woman secreted it to Laura the day she left. "Leave this place," the woman told Laura, but gave her no advice where to go, offered her no shelter, just told her to go.
Laura chose the obvious. She slipped away from home, made it to the nearest town and bought a bus ticket to New York City. Three days later she was arrested by an officer of the vice detail for soliciting.
Laura spent many hours in the office of the prison psychiatrist. Through his efforts, she was taken into a decent home and given the opportunity to learn some useful skills. It can only be hoped that she makes a success of her life. It's doubtful; we can only hope.
CHAPTER THREE Toni: Incest and the Adolescent Teaser
"For a whole year before that first night, Daddy had got into the habit of walking around the trailer bare-assed naked. He'd even sit at the table naked when we ate. I can remember that big cock of his hanging down. I never said anything, but I sure was curious. Especially with the noises that came from his bed almost every night. He fucked just about any woman who wanted it, though most of them were ugly as sin. At least to me they were.
"You see, Mom died about three years ago, and since then we've been traveling in a trailer. We go from job to job, because Daddy's in the construction business. It plays hell with my school, but it's fun. And Daddy doesn't ever intend to get married again-he's got too many women waiting for him wherever he goes.
"Dad is a really good-looking man, and he isn't old. I'm fifteen now, but he's only thirty-two. He was fucking the shit out of my mother for six months before she got pregnant and then, bam, suddenly he had a kid-me-and a wife. I don't think he particularly liked the idea, but he lived with it.
"And now, he says, he's 'really living.' Living for sex, I'd say, and just about anything goes. Even me.
"As I said, he had me curious about that cock of his. I was only fourteen when he started in on his habit of parading around buck-assed naked, but I was a good-looking fourteen, even if I say so myself. I had a pair of tits that were good-small but good. And a fine figure. Sort of slender, but nice.
"After a couple of weeks watching him move around the trailer without a stitch on, that big prick swinging in the breeze, I took to matching him-nude for nude. But I wasn't as brazen as he was. I'd just sort of let him watch when I got undressed for bed, or in the morning when I was getting up. I even took to sleeping in the raw, like he did, so that every morning, along with his orange juice, he had a fine, fresh, sexy little body to watch. And it was a naked body. I made sure of that.
"Of course, I didn't know what this would lead to, because if I had I sure as hell wouldn't have played his game. But I was a young kid and anxious to please. You see, I guess that basically my love for Daddy was more than a daughter's should be. I mean, he turned me on. And I guess most of that was the result of my girl friends, who all seemed to go ga-ga whenever he was around them.
Like this one girl friend I had when we were living near Raleigh. She told me she'd lay down on her back for my dad anytime he wanted. You know, that kind of talk turned me on-and so did my dad.
"I talk sort of adult-like, but when it comes right down to what I'd done in the way of sex, I was really green. Sure, I'd had petting sessions with a couple of boys, and even let them finger-fuck me every once in a while, but none of them really turned me on. I blew a guy once, but that was kinda disgusting, so I won't talk about that.
"Anyway, along about March of this year, things began moving fast at the trailer. I can remember that first night as clear as anything. I was in bed-naked like always-when Daddy came home from a night on the town. He must really have tied one on because I could hear him stumbling and tripping over everything in the trailer. That's one of the worst things about living in one of those damned trailors: There's no room.
"I had a night light on next to my bed-very weak. I only kept it on in case I had to get up in the middle of the night. With the light at least you could see outlines of things. And not break your neck falling over the kitchen table.
"I was awake but pretended to be asleep. I don't know why. I guess I just liked looking at Daddy when he didn't know I was looking. I saw him sort of stumble into the back of the trailer where his bed was, then flick on the light. I squinted my eyes and watched him strip off his clothes. He had a tremendous looking body. From all that hard work on construction, I guess.
"I was still watching him when he turned around and faced me. It wasn't intentional on his part-he didn't know I was watching-but when he turned I saw he had a tremendous hard-on. His big prick was sticking straight up in the air, almost touching his belly. When I saw that, I felt this warm feeling go all the way through my body. Damn, he was so beautiful.
"I watched some more. He moved his hand down to his cock and wrapped his big mitt around it, then he moved his hand up and down a couple of times, jacking off. I knew that. I'd watched some boys doing it. But Daddy didn't finish himself off like they had. He was just feeling himself up, I guess. Because after just a little while and after a few more jerks on his pecker, he sighed and headed towards the bathroom.
"To get to the bathroom, he had to come almost next to where I was sleeping. As soon as he got close I let out a sigh, you know, like I was sound asleep, and then I turned on my back and settled down. I did it deliberately. I wanted him to be aware of me.
"He heard me alright and he stood with his hand on the doorknob of the bathroom for a long time. He just stared at me. I could feel him looking at me, although I had my eyes closed tight by this time. Then I heard him walking over towards me. He sat down on the side of the bed. The bed is narrow so I felt his thigh pressing against mine. That got me all the more excited. I don't know what I expected to happen, but I was disappointed when nothing did.
"It wasn't until later that things really did start happening.
"Daddy had been drinking a lot since we'd gotten to Houston. I don't know why, but whenever we were in Texas, he'd drink a lot. And then when we moved, he'd slow down. I guess he was just trying to keep up with the big-talking, big-drinking Tex-ans. Anyway, when Daddy got drunk he also got horny. Really horny. So horny he'd fuck just about anything, I swear to God.
"One night he brought this kid home. It was a guy. And he couldn't have been a hell of a lot older than I was. I watched them in the back of the trailer. Daddy never did bother to close the sliding door anymore. He had the kid on his knees and made him suck on his cock until he poured his cream into the poor guy. Although I don't think Daddy was forcing him-the kid seemed to be enjoying himself too much. But that was the only time I'd ever seen Daddy do anything sort of 'queer.' I guess he'd just been hard-up that night and decided to take what was available.
"I'm telling all this, I mean about the queer sucking him off, not to make Daddy sound bad. I was just trying to show you how desperate he got sometimes for sex. He'd do just about anything.
"And then the night arrived when we had our first thing. God, I'll never forget it. It was wonderful, and even if he was my father, when he fucked me, when he stuck that big hard cock up into me, I thought it was the greatest thing that had ever happened to me.
"He was drunk when he walked into the trailer about 3:00 a.m, mumbling to himself like crazy. I heard him say things like, 'Stupid bitch,' and 'Cock teaser,' so I took it for granted that he had been leading one of the local belles along all night and she'd turned him down. Which didn't happen often.
"But anyway, he was hot as hell and ready to stick his prick into anything. I knew that. And knowing it excited me. He went through the routine again of getting undressed back by his bed, still mumbling, and then heading towards the bathroom. When he got close, I sighed again, only this time I moved around and shoved the sheet down a little. My tits were hanging out. I did it deliberately, so you can't put all the blame for what happened on Daddy. I didn't know what I was getting into, but I sure wasn't discouraging him.
"He stood at the door, just like that last time, and stared at me. More likely at my tits. Of course, they were pretty flat, what with me laying on my back, but I guess they still looked pretty good to him, because he kept standing there and staring at me. And then all of a sudden he reached for his cock and started jacking himself off. It was hard and big in no time. Through my squinted eyes I could see that even his face was flushing up.
"I was really feeling all hot and excited by this time, so I sighed and moved around again. Damn, I was such a little whore. This time I managed to push that sheet down even farther, so that my pussy was showing. I had the prettiest little silken hairs there. Very light colored.
"But Daddy still didn't move. I squinted my eyes again and by now he was working on his pecker to beat the band. His fist was flying up and down on that rod. I watched him for only a couple of seconds, getting hotter all the time, feeling my pussy getting wet. Then I really moved around on that bed. I pretended to be still asleep but I thrashed around until the sheet was completely off me and then I opened my legs wide. My cunt was open for the world to see. But I only wanted one person to look-Daddy-and he was getting a real eyeful.
"So you see, you can't blame Daddy for what happened. It was really more my fault. He walked over to the bed, and I could see that his cock was about to shoot off. It was hard as steel and throbbing like an engine, jerking up and down. And it was red, redder than I've ever seen on anybody.
"He stood over the bed for a couple of seconds, and I closed my eyes, lest he'd see I was watching and get afraid. I didn't know what he was doing. But then he got on the floor beside the bed. I felt his hair brush my thigh, and then I felt-oh, shit, it was glorious-I felt his mouth sucking out my pussy. Then his tongue slithered into my cunt. He ran his tongue around in circles, taking my clit between his teeth and biting it gently, then he shoved his stiff tongue as far into my cunt as he could. I was so excited my cunt hairs were standing on end. I was moaning and moving around on that bed like I was crazy, which I probably was. It felt so wonderful.
"Then Daddy's hands were on my breasts, caressing them. His mouth trailed up my belly. I could feel his wet tongue running smoothly over my belly, into my belly button and up. Then he took my nipples between his teeth, flicking them with his tongue. The nipples were hard already and his mouth action sent me to the stars. Then he moved to my other tit. Flicking, lapping, sucking. He caressed the other breast with his hand, and then slowly, so slowly that I almost went out of my mind, he slid his hand back down my belly and put his finger inside me.
"I couldn't help but groan with pleasure. I still had my eyes shut, but I wanted to open them. I wanted to see what he was doing to me, as well as feel it. But I was afraid if he knew I was awake he'd quit.
"He worked another finger into my pussy which was soaking wet by now. He took his fingers out and put them under my nose, letting me smell my own cunt juices. That really flipped me. Back went the hand. He shoved into me with three fingers now, stretching my cunt, getting it ready for his big cock. I knew that, but I didn't care-I wanted it inside me worse than anything else in the world.
"Finally, after what seemed like an hour of his finger-fucking me, Daddy finally climbed up on the bed and got between my legs. I looked quickly at him. He was staring down at my cunt, like he didn't know whether to go ahead or not. I arched my back, shoving my pussy up towards him, while he was towering over me, his huge prick waving in the air. It was looking desperately for some place to shove itself.
"He was so turned on now, nothing could have stopped him. He put his cock up against my cunt and pushed gently. He got inside. There was no pain, just wonderful, wonderful pleasure. He pushed again, and got inside me farther. This time there was a little pain. He was stretching me wide apart. But I wanted that pain. I wanted anything that went along with his cock.
"And then suddenly, he shoved violently into me. His cock split me open, pushing into that virgin hole. I screamed out in pain, but he was too excited to care. He fucked my cunt like a madman. The pain stopped. It didn't last long-but I really wanted to have his come in me. I twisted and swiveled my ass, taking as much of that cock as he could force into me, feeling that steel-hard rod plunging into my belly. Christ, he was in me so damned far. And then, after a wild few minutes, he groaned and plunged all the harder. He was getting close. He fucked my pussy with a speed that was unbelievable, causing me more pleasure than I'd ever had before. In and out, in and out. Christ, he was wonderful.
"Then he shouted, 'I'm coming, I'm coming!' and I felt, yeah, I actually felt, his hot, searing come slam against my insides. I just laid there and moaned and groaned and yelled as wave after wave of come flooded my insides. I had all of him now.
"He ended up with his cock still buried deep inside, me laying flat on my stomach, our faces not more than a couple of inches apart. His eyes were closed and he pulled even closer to me. I could feel his cock move inside me when he moved his body. He lowered his mouth and I felt his lips brush against mine. Then he pressed hard against me. I felt his tongue slip between my lips and caress my own tongue, while he still moved his cock slowly and sensuously inside my cunt.
"Then, all of a sudden, I heard him yell, 'For crissake, Toni!' I opened my eyes and looked up at him. He was leaning up, staring at me-terror-stricken. I could feel his cock wilt inside me. He pulled out the poor shrinking thing and jumped up off the bed.
" 'Oh my God! Oh my God!' he kept saying over and over again. 'Toni, baby. I'm so goddamned sorry.' He was actually crying. Tears were running down his face. I felt so sorry for him that I reached up and tried to put my arms around him. But he drew back. Jumped back is more the word for it. 'No,' he said. And then he stammered something about being so sorry. He stumbled back to his end of the trailer and pulled the sliding door shut. It was the first time he'd done that in a long time.
"As for me, I wasn't sorry at all. I lay on the bed, still without the sheet covering me. I reached down with my hand and put two of my fingers inside my cunt. I could feel the jism. I moved my fingers around until they were covered with the sticky juice. Then I brought my fingers up and sniffed them. The odor was delicious. Hesitantly, I put the tip of one of my fingers in my mouth and began to suck on it. The taste matched the smell. It brought back memories of the whole glorious fuck Daddy had given me. It was wonderful.
"The next morning Daddy was out of the trailer before I woke up. He must have snuck around like a cat to get out without making any noise, because I'm sort of a light sleeper. I moped around the trailer, hoping he'd come back, until it was time to head for school. The whole day was a drag.
"When I got back, Daddy was home. He was sitting at the table, with a bottle in front of him. He looked, I swear, ten years older than he had the night before. I don't know if it was because he fucked me and was really feeling sorry, or because he'd already had half the bottle of booze.
"I went up to him and tried to kiss him hello, like I always did, but he pulled away from me. 'What's the matter, Daddy?' I asked in my sweetest and softest voice. He just stared at me, so I turned, sort of angry, and started to head towards the door. 'Toni,' he called. 'C'mere and sit down.'
"I did what he told me.
" 'There isn't anything in the world I can say,' he stammered, 'that would make up for what I did last night. My biggest worry is that it might happen again.'
"I told him I wouldn't mind if it did, and he said, 'I know you wouldn't. And that's what has me worried.' I really felt sorry for him then. He was worried out of his mind.
"That's when he broke the news to me. He'd called his sister while he was out and she'd agreed to look after me for a while. He was sending me away!
"I started to cry right away. The last thing in the world I wanted now was to be away from him, especially now, especially after he had shown me how much he loved me. I pleaded and begged him to let me stay, but nothing I did or said would change his mind. He told me he was going to put me on the bus the next afternoon.
"We had a silent dinner that night. I wasn't angry at him, because I understood, I guess, why he was doing what he was doing. Only I didn't want him to do it. I was wracking my brain to come up with something that would change his mind. Finally, I thought of a possible way.
"He drank all day, not even bothering to go to work, and was blasted out of his mind by nine o'clock. I sat in front of the television watching him get drunker and drunker, until he got to the point where he couldn't even stand up. I helped him back to his bed and he threw himself down. He was out.
"That meant I'd have to wait at least a couple of hours to start with my plan. I went to bed myself, setting the alarm for three just in case I fell asleep. I didn't need the clock. I was so excited about what I was going to do, I didn't even close my eyes.
"It seemed like three o'clock took forever to get there, but eventually, finally, the time arrived. I got out of bed quietly and headed back towards Daddy's bed. He was still stretched out on his back, the same position he was in at ten o'clock. The whiskey must have really hit him.
"I shook him gently and he stirred, so I knew he wasn't completely out, just sleeping. I threw off my clothes and knelt by the side of the bed. His body was over towards the edge, so that made what I was going to do easier. I opened his trousers and pulled down his fly. He didn't have anything on underneath, and I eased his limp cock out of his pants. It was big, even when it wasn't hard. I looked at that cock for a few seconds, and it was beautiful-almost as beautiful as when it was plowing into my pussy. I leaned down and kissed it very lightly. It moved and started very slowly to thicken and get hard. I could feel myself getting excited.
"It jerked a couple of times, and got longer, and then that beautiful, beautiful prick started to edge up, poking up into the air, aiming itself at me. Christ, I loved that dick of his.
"As carefully as I could, I opened his pants more and gently lifted his balls. Then I pushed his shirt up on his belly. He was now naked from his chest on down, so I leaned over the bed, still kneeling, and brushed my breasts against his cock. It jerked even more. Then I slowly lowered my head and let my tongue flick out on his belly, lightly. I trailed my tongue down his belly, in and out of the tight clump of hair he had above his cock, and then shoved my mouth down hard on his cock, taking the whole, hard length into my mouth.
"He was groaning in his sleep now-from pleasure. When his cock was slippery and wet, I knelt closer to the bed and leaned forward. I put his prick in between my breasts and pressed them together with my hands, giving him a new type of pussy to fuck. Slowly I started to move my tits up and down, pressing firmly against his cock. It was getting bigger and hotter all the time, and he was moaning more.
"I spit down in between my tits, adding more lubrication, until his cock was sliding up and down with no friction at all. It felt good for me, but seeing the pleasure he was having was the biggest thrill.
"Then he said something. Maybe it was only an alcoholic haze, but he had to be awake-just not with it. 'Lick it,' he murmured. And I immediately dropped my tits and lowered my mouth on his cock. I took it all in, licking it all the way down, tasting the juice that was leaking out. I was really getting excited by this time.
"I moved down to his balls, taking one at a time into my mouth, letting them roll around inside me, gently sucking. For the longest time, I just kept alternating from one ball to another. And he was really thrashing around on the bed now.
"Finally, when I couldn't take the excitement anymore, I stood up. I felt my cunt and it was wet -slimy wet. I got up on the bed and positioned myself over him. His cock was standing straight up in the air, so I lowered my ass, bringing my pussy right down on the head of it.
"Slowly, I sank down on that huge dick. It slid into me inch by inch until I had the whole thing inside. I was sitting on his hips now, with his whole goddamned prick wedged up in my cunt, exciting me so that I wanted to scream.
"I started moving around, milking his cock, wanting his come inside me, and at the same time wanting him never to come, never to stop fucking me.
"I couldn't stand it anymore. I had to have him fully awake, so he could see what he was doing to me. 'Daddy,' I called out. 'Daddy.' While I was still moving my cunt up and down on his prick, I leaned down and shook him, hard. I had to do it twice before he finally came around. He still didn't seem to know exactly where he was, but he took over the action right away. He had a big smile on his face as he started moving his hips up and down, plunging that cock deep inside me.
"And then, I guess, it dawned on him who I was. He looked up at me, directly in the face, and a funny look came over him. His smile left and this terrible expression came back to him. I could see the transformation right in front of me as he stopped the action of his hips, stopped that beautiful fucking action, and stared at me. 'Toni, for Christ's sake,' he said slowly. 'Get up.'
"I started swiveling my hips around like crazy, hoping to get him hot again, but it was no use-his cock wilted inside me, and he halfway shoved me off him. He just stared at me. I thought for a moment that he was going to hit me, but he didn't. All he did was shake his head and say, 'Go to bed, Toni.' That's all. Just 'Go to bed.' I felt like ripping his eyes out.
"I went back to my own bed, knowing that the plan I'd had so much confidence in hadn't worked.
"The next morning, when I woke up, breakfast was all ready. I looked around and saw my suitcase setting against the wall. It was all packed. Daddy had done it himself. He had me all ready to leave.
"He wouldn't talk to me, and I couldn't eat. I kept looking at him all the while we were sitting there, but he'd look away. Finally, out of desperation, I pleaded with him again. 'I don't want to go, Daddy,' I begged. 'Please don't make me go.'
" 'You have to go, Toni.' That's all he said.
" 'But I can't,' I shouted. 'I can't go because I love you, Daddy. I love you so much."
A young girl needs a father who accepts his role. A healthy relationship cannot be acquired by a formal course of study; it must be learned in the course of daily life from a father who serves as a model. Freud stated: "There is not any need in childhood as strong as that for a father's protection." From her infancy, the young girl needs to be aware that she has a father who can protect her from danger.
The child also needs her father's help in dealing with her angry wishes and fearful fantasies. Every young girl wants her father all for herself. Tolerating no rivals, she gets rid of her mother and siblings in fantasies and dreams, though the fantasies may be violent and the dreams may turn to nightmares. Since she cannot yet separate wishes from deeds, the child becomes desperately frightened; she has no way of knowing that her thoughts will not become reality. Here the father's role is twofold: to view sympathetically the young girl's frustration, fury and fear, and at the same time, in silent strength, convey the reassuring message, "Don't worry. I will not let you fulfill your fantasy."
Some parents are not aware of the need to protect a child from incestuous and destructive fantasies. In some homes, the parental bedroom can be invaded-either physically or by sight-at any time day or night. This cannot but bring anxiety to the child.
There comes a time in every girl's life when she wants her father "all for herself." He is her first love, and she declares her love for her father-a love so possessive that it tolerates no rivals. It is essential that this desperate love not be encouraged by words or deeds.
Even in jest, a young girl should not be called, "My beautiful girl" or "My little lover" by the father. Not, at least, under the explained circumstance. For these descriptive phrases are the very roles that the child wishes she could assume in life, roles which she must give up-the sooner the better.
We should not increase a young girl's frustration by letting her hope futilely. Indulgence by a father (kisses on the mouth, caressing of the genitals) is pleasurable to the child, but it brings her guilt rather than contentment. Indeed, sensual indulgence, either tactile or verbal, ties the child erotically to her parent and blocks normal development of sex and love.
Along the same lines, some parents are not aware that their own child may look at them erotically and react to them sexually. Unwittingly, as was the case of Toni's father, they may intensify a child's sexual urges towards them. A father who undresses in front of his daughter stimulates sexual feelings and fantasies.
Such behavior, and all related actions, have damaging effects on a young girl's development. Girls reared by seductive fathers have a tendency to get involved sexually with older men-as indicated by Toni's actions in a later section of her case history-after they had been rejected by their own fathers.
Conversely, some may be so frightened by their parents' erotic approach that in adult life they may shun sex altogether and/or seek satisfaction with members of their own sex. Seductive parents definitely need psychotherapy.
In Toni's case, her father took the easy way out. Whether through ignorance or design, he was responsible for her actions. Instead of trying to cope with her problem, the man did her further damage by sending her away. That further damage is narrated in the following section of Toni's case history.
"My aunt's house was a disaster. My aunt wasn't too bad, but I had two cousins that would've driven Joan of Arc up a wall. And my uncle was a silly bastard, fat and sloppy, and he giggled. Honest to God, he giggled.
"The cousins were the worse though-a boy and a girl. The girl was just my age and the boy was about a year older. They were so 'good' you wanted to vomit. Everything was, 'Yes, please,' and 'No, thank you,' and 'May I?' and a lot more of that bullshit. And I know damned well the closest either of them had ever been to having sex was taking a piss.
"And this was my new life. For the first couple of days I cried and cried-I missed Daddy so damned much. And then I started getting mad at him. I couldn't help myself. The more and more disgusted I got with my new home and new 'family'-which they insisted I call them-the more angry I got at Daddy for making me stay there. I got to hating his guts after a while. Not really, though. I could never really hate him.
"I lived for getting back to that trailer. I vowed I would, and also vowed that I wouldn't cause Daddy any more sex problems. That way he'd have no reason for sending me away again. My chance came after I'd been staying at the goddamned place for about a month. Up until then, they watched me like a hawk-I guess they knew I wanted to go back-but then they sort of let down their guard.
"Billy-that was their creepy son's name-had a recital that night. Wouldn't you know he'd play the violin? I said I was sick and couldn't go. My aunt gets all fluttery and asks me what the matter is, then she puts her hand on my head to see if I had a temperature. All that shit. She kept at me so long that finally I just up and told her what the matter was. 'My pussy hurts,' I said. 'I'm on the rag.'
"That got them out of the house real fast.
"As soon as they were down the street, I was upstairs packing. I only took one little suitcase, left the other stuff for them to keep, or sell. I didn't give a damn. I got together all the money I could find in the house-even robbed the kids' piggy banks. Can you imagine a sixteen-year-old kid with a piggy bank? It was loaded.
"Anyway, I headed by cab downtown. I thought as long as I was going, I might as well travel rich. The cab pulled up to the curb and I hopped in. Bingo, the first thing I saw was that the cabbie looked almost exactly like my dad. Almost exactly, only maybe he was a year or two younger. I kept staring at him and he kept staring at me. I was getting a wet pussy just thinking of Daddy, or of the cabbie. It didn't matter, my pussy wouldn't know the difference. A couple of times, as I looked at his face through the rear view mirror, our eyes would meet and that's when he'd start rubbing his tongue along his lips. The way he did it made his tongue look like a little cock.
"We'd only gone about two miles when he reached over and turned off the meter and swung the cab down a dark street. I knew enough about the city by that time to know he wasn't heading for the bus station.
"He pulled under a big tree that shaded out what little light there was. He turned around, putting his elbow on the back seat, and flashed a grin. 'You interested in a little fun, honey?' he asked.
" 'What do you have in mind?' I answered.
"That was all the encouragement he needed. He jumped over into the back seat like a rabbit and five seconds later he had his hand jammed up my dress and was pushing aside my panties with his fingers. He sunk two fingers into my pussy without a second's hesitation, then he took my clit between them and started rolling it around, squeezing it gently, getting me hotter than a firecracker. I looked over at him and, sure enough, even this close he looked just like Daddy.
" 'Lay back and relax, honey,' he told me. I did what he wanted. He spread my legs and got between them. He wrestled my panties off with one hand while he continued finger-fucking me with the other. It felt so great, his finger sliding in and out, caressing my insides. I was dripping wet, and he appreciated that. 'Hot little bitch, ain't ya?' he said. I just nodded. I didn't want to talk, I just wanted to get fucked-by Daddy.
"He got down on his knees in that cramped area and stuck his face between my legs. My pants were off and my legs were spread, waiting for him. He drove his stiffened tongue right up into my cunt, holding my cunt lips open with his hands and forcing his face deep into that gaping space. He lashed at my cunt furiously with his tongue-as I held on to his head and pushed him in even deeper.
"He licked and sucked at my pussy for a long, long time, then he raised my legs up and started giving my ass-hole a tongue bath. I could feel that stiff tongue probing and poking at my ass-hole. He raised his head. 'Relax, honey,' he said. 'I want to get all the way in there.'
"I relaxed my body and could feel his tongue pushing deep inside my ass. Wet and slippery, his tongue glided in and out of that puckered hole, so that I felt a wave of pleasure wrack my body every time his tongue forced itself in. Christ, the guy had the greatest tongue in the world, and best of all, he brought back the memory of when Daddy had used his tongue on me. Daddy wouldn't lick my ass-hole, though.
"I was thrashing around on the back seat by this time, not knowing what to do with my hands. I'd already come twice, once when he was licking up into my cunt, and the second time when his tongue first pushed its way into my ass-hole. I felt like I was good for a thousand more.
"Eventually, I guess his tongue got tired, because he sat up, breathing hard. 'Christ,' he said, 'you're the fuckin' hottest kid I've ever run into.' Then he unzipped his pants and let his cock fly out. It was hard as a rock, not too big, but good-sized. Not as big as Daddy's. 'Suck on this, kid,' he said, and shoved his body over towards me.
"I was agreeable to anything. I threw my face down in his lap and gobbled his cock, all the way down into my throat. I closed my eyes and pretended it was Daddy's cock I had in my mouth, tasting the juice that was leaking out of the top. I licked and sucked until the guy was begging me to stop. 'I'll come!' he shouted, and tried to push my head away. But I wouldn't let go. I had that cock in my mouth and I was going to keep it. I sucked even harder, wrapping my tongue around his prick and milking it.
"His whole body shivered as he let out a loud moan. Spurt after spurt of come shot into my mouth. I swallowed it as fast as I could and still it came. I felt a huge gob rolling down my chin. I looked up at him while I was still sucking, still milking that cock. He had a look of pure bliss on his face.
"I sucked his cock until he had to force me off, and still I wanted more. 'Easy, baby,' he said. 'I'm drained.' I let him go when he said that. I was disgusted. Daddy would have let me do more.
"After he shot he seemed nervous. He got his pants up, handed me my panties from off the floor and climbed into the front seat. 'You said the bus station, didn't you?' he asked. He was all business now. I shook my head and settled back on the seat. I couldn't wait to see Daddy.
"The bus trip was boring. Nothing happened at all. I sat next to a fat old man who snored all the way. I had to just about call for help to get out of my seat. The only trouble was I got into Phoenix, where Daddy was working, about one o'clock in the morning. That meant another cab to get out to the trailer court. Oh, well, I thought. Daddy would have some money for me.
"The driver dropped me off at the trailer park gate. He hadn't tried any funny stuff at all, even though I kept eyeing him through the mirror. So I I played with myself all the way out, sitting in the back of the cab, sticking my finger up my cunt. It was wet through and through by the time I got to the trailer court.
"The court area was dark as hell. I stumbled at least five times trying to find Daddy's trailer. And then I saw the familiar blue and white colors. It looked beautiful to me. I walked up to the side and ran my palm along the metal. I was glad to be home-for a few seconds anyway.
"While I was standing there, still rubbing my hand on the trailer, I heard some familiar noises coming from inside-low moans-and there were two voices. All of a sudden I felt anger swell up in me. He was in there fucking somebody! I knew it. The son-of-a-bitch couldn't even keep his cock in his pants on the night when his daughter came home. The rotten fucker . ...
"But now wait a minute, I told myself. He didn't know I was coming. And maybe there wasn't anybody else in there. Maybe it was the television. Or maybe he was having a nightmare. The noises could be anything.
"I walked very quietly to the door of the trailer, reached up and turned the knob. I knew it would be open. We didn't lock the thing even when we were gone. As quietly as I could, I got the door open and stepped up inside. Then I tiptoed over to where I could look into Daddy's bedroom area.
"I don't know why I took so much trouble being quiet-I could have driven a herd of horses through there and he wouldn't have paid any attention. He had a big, blonde slut on his bed, on her hands and knees, and he was slamming his cock into her cunt from behind. The moans I'd heard were from her, and she was enjoying it like crazy. Every time he rammed his cock into her, she'd moan out, 'More, baby. Give me more.' The goddamned slut. She wasn't even a real blonde-her cunt hairs were black as coal. And she was so goddamned old. She must have been thirty-five if she was a day, and there was Daddy, fucking her like crazy and pretending to enjoy it. She must be paying him. That'd be the only reason he'd stick his prick into that ugly, black hole.
"I stood there for maybe ten minutes, watching Daddy cram cock into the old witch, making her scream even louder every once in a while. I guess that meant she was coming. And then Daddy started pumping into her faster and faster. He'd jam that cock of his all the way in and then pull it out until just the tip was in, and then slam back into her. You could hear his balls slapping against her ass.
"Then he came. He poured his good come into that wire-haired witch. For what seemed like hours he kept flooding her insides with jism. Again and again he lurched against her flabby white ass and then finally he pressed up against her cunt as hard as he could while his orgasm ended. Then he backed off a little, still inside her, and sighed heavily. 'Christ,' he said, 'what a fuck that was.'
"Then he did something that was really disgusting. He pushed her ass down on the bed and turned her over. He put her legs up on his shoulders and then lowered his face and pushed it against her pussy. He ate her out. That fucking messy hole he licked on and sucked on until it was clean as a whistle. He kept sticking his tongue up there, rolling it around, sucking in all the juice that both of them had left there. I've never seen anything so disgusting in my life.
"As soon as he finished with her cunt, Daddy knelt up on the bed and the old hag scrambled over and started sucking on his prick. It looked like the whole goddamned thing was going to start all over again. I'd had enough. I was sick, angry, disgusted and FURIOUS. Let the son-of-a-bitch fuck any old sow he wanted to-he wasn't going to get into me anymore.
"I walked to the door and got out of the trailer. I let it slam good and loud and then waited for a few seconds to see if he heard it. He didn't. Or at least if he did, he ignored it. The bastard! The goddamned bastard!
"I decided right then and there that I'd show him. He wasn't going to treat me that way. If he could have fun with every cunt that sniffed around him, I could be the same. I was going to have fun, and that fucker could have his goddamned trailer and all the decrepit old women he wanted. I'd show him.
"I got back to the highway, still holding on to my suitcase. I had about three dollars in my purse, which isn't a whole lot when you're alone, with no place to go. And I didn't know a soul, except for Daddy, and he was nothing. I wasn't going to see him ever again. I stood in the dark by the side of the highway and tried to think. I didn't know what to do. There were no buses out this way, and no cabs. Hell, I couldn't have afforded a cab if there was one. I figured the only thing to do was walk, so I gathered my coat around me, grabbed good and tight on my suitcase and started walking.
"Down the road just a few hundred yards, around the bend from the court where I couldn't see it when I started walking, was an all-night diner. I decided to spend fifteen cents for a cup of coffee. Maybe I could get a ride from somebody. There were three trucks parked in the lot, but when I walked inside, the place was empty-except for a hatchet-faced old waitress who acted like she was doing me a favor by serving me the cup of coffee, which sort of pissed me off.
"I waited until I was almost finished with my coffee, and still nobody came in. I was getting kind of desperate, so I decided to talk to the waitress. 'Where is everybody?' I asked. 'I mean, there are three trucks out in the lot, but there's nobody in here.'
"Hatchet-face was a real talker. 'They're sleep-in', ' she said and then walked back into the kitchen.
"That meant the drivers were either sacking out behind the diner in sort of a truck-driver's motel, or else they were asleep in their cabs. I decided to look for them. I didn't know what I had in mind-a ride, probably-or maybe even something more.
"I finished my coffee and left exactly fifteen cents on the counter. The goddamned waitress wasn't going to get a tip out of me. Then I walked outside. The same three trucks were still there. I walked over to the closest one which looked all locked up. The windows were all rolled to the top and there wasn't any sign of life, and the goddamned cab was so high that I couldn't boost myself up to take a look in the window. I went on to the second one. Same thing there-no life and no way to look inside.
"The third truck was a lot smaller one, though, and when I got over to it, I could see that the window was rolled down a couple of inches.
"I got up on the little running board and looked in the window. 'Hi, honey. Lose something?' a voice said. It scared me so much I fell off the running board and dropped my suitcase, right in the middle of a puddle. Who the hell ever heard of a puddle in Phoenix? But I found one.
"I was still sitting on my ass on the ground when the door to the cab opened and the driver got out. He was a big guy and he didn't have a shirt on. He was hairy all over his chest and shoulders and he had a pretty good start on a beer gut. But he was smiling and looked friendly. 'I didn't mean to scare you,' he said.
"That started what might be called a friendship. His name was Carl and he was as friendly as he looked. He helped me up off the ground and got me into the cab of the truck. And then he fucked me and fucked me all night. The next morning he drove me into downtown Phoenix.
"I really didn't mind having Carl's cock ramming into me, because when I looked up into his face, I pretended it was Daddy above me, even if he was a lot heavier. And when he asked me to suck his cock, I did it, pretending that it was Daddy's cock. Everything I did with him or for him was because I pretended I was with Daddy. I guess when it comes right down to it, I'd do just about anything anybody asks as long as they have something about them that reminds me of Daddy-a little crooked smile, the same kind of hair, anything. I'll do anything for anybody."
If the preceding excerpt from young Toni's interview is read carefully, indications are abundant that there was more to Toni's problem than an exaggerated example of an Electra complex (the counterpart to the Oedipus complex in males).
It is said that the emotions of love and hate are first cousins. A finely drawn line separates the two. In Toni's case, this is true. Take for example her statement that she came, within a short time while staying at her aunt's home, to "hate her father's guts." Then, in a complete reversal, in the very next sentence, she maintains that she "could never really hate him."
Another indication: while Toni was engaged in sexual activity with the cab driver, she "transferred" her love for her father to the other manbut within limits. She expressed herself in the following words: " ... And best of all, he brought back the memory of when Daddy had used his tongue on me." Then she proceeds to counterbalance that statement with an immediate follow-up: " ... Daddy wouldn't lick my ass-hole, though."
In psychological terms, Toni was a victim of what is referred to as a "transferral syndrome," which is to all intents and purposes a mental derangement.
Included also in this "transferral syndrome" is Toni's basic need for sex, a need completely out of control. A need that in any female, no matter what her age, would be itself an indication of a mental problem. In a young girl Toni's age, the need is even more bizarre.
Toni attributed perfection to her father. From her own statements, again, we remember her referring to her father in what might be called ultimate terms. To Toni, her father was a "good-looking man"; he had a "beautiful body"; his penis was "beautiful"; his lovemaking was "wonderful." On the other hand, she always remarked on the imperfections of the other men she met and whom she allowed to use her body. The cab driver was described only as having a small penis; the truck driver was "hairy" and had "a pretty good start on a beer gut." The man was also heavy when he lay on her body, while her father was light and felt good to her.
Toni, then, is an example of an extreme Electra complex, with mental imbalance a causative factor. In other words, from her statements, it can almost be stated as a fact that no matter what her circumstances, she would have been mentally ill. It just so happens that Toni was also the victim of a "seductive parent" (mentioned earlier in this chapter). Without his presence, or rather without his seductive actions, it is hard to tell what areas Toni's mental imbalance would have taken her into. We can never know, since by this time in her life, her "Love" of her father was completely controlling her life.
The following section of Toni's case history brings her story to an end. In it we'll see the effects of her thwarted love for her father. We'll also see to what degree that "Love" was responsible for her actions.
"Phoenix was a drag, a real out-and-out drag. Everybody walking around the streets was at least ninety years old. I never saw so many canes in my life. I guess every old fart in the world comes to Phoenix to die. At least it looked like it.
"I spent a week in Phoenix, paid for by my friend Carl. He and some buddy truck drivers of his got me a motel room. It was a nice place, not a dump, with all nice shades of green. It also had a swimming pool but Carl told me I wasn't allowed to use it because if the management found out I was in the room, there'd be trouble.
"Carl wasn't putting anything over on me. I knew what he was up to because he told me all about it. He told me he and his friends would pay for the room, and my food, if I'd do them 'some favors'-like let them fuck me anytime they wanted. I agreed right away. I didn't have any other place to go and no money, so what else was I supposed to do?
"Carl told the manager of the motel that he and his friends were tired of sleeping in their trucks, so they decided to maintain a motel room that any of them could use when they were in town. He asked the manager if it would be possible just to put a week's supply of towels and sheets in the room and not bother about it after that. He used as an excuse that there'd be guys sleeping in there at all times of the day and night and the maid would disturb them. That was okay with the manager. It saved him trouble.
"As soon as Carl snuck me into the room, he had to take off. With all the fucking we'd done the night before, he was already six hours late getting into Los Angeles. He told me not to worry-I'd have a lot of company. And he was right.
"I stripped off my clothes and took a shower. I had this funny feeling, that same old, hot feeling, down in my pussy all the while the water was running over me. I tried sticking my finger up my cunt, but that didn't do any good. It was like a tremendous itch all the way inside. I wanted to scratch it in the worst way, but I couldn't get to it with my hand. What I needed, I decided, was a big cock plunging up in there. That would help, but there wasn't any cock around. Not at the moment anyway.
"I dried myself off and looked around the room. It was furnished pretty sparse, but there was one thing I thought might be able to help me out: a vase that was on the bureau. It was long and had sort of a rounded top. I picked it up and put it against my pussy and pushed a little. The end slipped in, but it wasn't comfortable. It was too cold and dry. I went into the bathroom and held the vase under the hot water, then smeared cold cream on the top. I got into bed, raised my ass and stuck the goddamned bottle in as far as it would go-and, believe it or not, that vase was a good fuck. A warm cock would have been better, of course, but the vase didn't do too bad of a job in getting rid of that pussy itch I had.
"I was still on the bed, still jamming that vase up my cunt, when the door opened. It was a guy I'd never seen before, a truck driver friend of Carl's. Well, not really a friend; they only knew each other. Apparently Carl was spreading the news of me being available around pretty well.
"This guy closed the door, threw his satchel down on the floor and walked over to the bed. He stood over me, staring at the bottle. 'Couldn't wait, could ya?' he asked, and then laughed real hard. He liked seeing me with that bottle.
"He was a nice guy. I liked the way he laughed -sort of like Daddy. He wasn't too much to look at-kind of old-but he was fun.
"He had his clothes off in a big hurry, climbed in bed and got halfway on top of me. I could smell him. He didn't often take a shower.
"He laid there with one leg over mine and took over the action with the bottle. He shoved it in and held it in, all the while moving the end of the bottie so that it was rubbing against the inside of my cunt. He had me worked up in a real hurry. 'You sure can take a lot up that pussy, for being such a little girl,' he said. Then he laughed again.
"He shoved the bottle up in me maybe a hundred times, twisting and jerking on the thing. It was real enjoyable. I came twice, just with that bottle. I guess the main reason I liked it so much was because he seemed to be having so much fun. And if I closed my eyes, I could pretend that that bottle was Daddy's cock riding up and down the length of my pussy walls.
"Finally he took the bottle out and got to the real thing. As I said, he wasn't anything special, either in the looks or the size department. But his cock was hard and my cunt was hot.
"I guess the action with the bottle had him really worked up because he didn't do more than slide in and out of me about ten times-and then he shot. He made enough noise for ten people then, moaning and groaning and yelling out. I was sure the manager would hear, but I guess he didn't.
"The guy climbed off right away. He wasn't very interested in me now. He wasn't like Daddy who stayed in me and kissed me after he came. This guy just jumped up and put his clothes on. 'Have to get going,' he said. 'I'm on local today.' Whatever that meant.
"He got out of the room real fast. That was one thing I noticed about some men. As soon as they got their rocks off, they were done. There wasn't any thought of what I'd like done to me; or maybe that I wasn't ready to call it quits. For them it was just fuck and leave, that's all. Like that goddamned cab driver. I let him eat me out and then I sucked him off, and he still charged me the whole fare. The bastard. I hated him.
"But at least this last guy had gotten rid of the itch in my cunt and I could go to sleep. And I was going to have a lot more company in the next week. You see, what the drivers did was pass on keys, and the information about me. They'd meet in truck stops and the key to the motel room would pass from a guy who had just left Phoenix to one who was just coming in. They kept my pussy very busy.
"But I did get about an hour's sleep that morning before the door opened again. This time there were two of them, young guys. And they acted like having me available was about the best thing that ever happened to them.
"They weren't more than twenty-three or so, and that sort of turned me off. I mean it was like fucking with your brother or somebody like that. But I managed it. All I had to do was shut my eyes and I was back in that blue and white trailer, with Daddy's cock planted firm and hard in my cunt.
"These two young guys-their names were Bill and Joe-pulled a bottle of Scotch out of their satchel, then sat down and insisted that I take a big drink. It was, honest to God, the first hard liquor I'd ever had. And did it go to my head. I was whirling around like crazy in just a couple of minutes.
"While I was lying on the bed getting drunk, Bill and Joe went into the bathroom and showered and shaved. I thought that was nice of them, getting cleaned up for me. When they got back into the bedroom, we sat around, all naked, and had a couple more drinks. I asked them to make mine real small. They did.
"About fifteen minutes later, when we were all smashed, the action started. Bill started running his hand up and down my legs, while Joe started in on the top, on my tits. They had me flying hot in no time. Joe was sitting closer to me, and he kept rubbing his fingers across my nipples, and then he leaned down and took the nipples between his lips, sucking on them.
"He bathed my whole breast with his tongue, running his mouth down my belly, flicking his tongue inside my belly button. Bill, at the same time, was stretched out on his belly, his head stuck up between my legs, licking my thighs, even the back of my knees. It was a beautiful feeling.
"Eventually, Bill, the one on the bottom, got around to edging his tongue up to my pussy. I could feel him licking my cunt lips and poking his tongue inside. Then he grabbed hold of my clit with his teeth and bit down, a little too hard, if the truth be known. But by this time I didn't give a shit.
"Then this guy jammed his tongue straight into my cunt-but only for a second. His head came jerking up and he had a real mean look on his face. 'You just been fucked!' he said. 'I can taste it.' I admitted what he said was right. I wasn't ashamed of it.
"'Christ,' Bill said. 'Didn't you even take a shower?'
"I shook my head no. Within seconds, the two of them were off the bed and leading me to the bathroom. They turned the water on in the tub. They were, they told me, going to give me a bath. Now that was something new. Nobody had ever given me a bath, not even Daddy, unless of course it was a long time ago when I was a baby.
"The only trouble was, they made the water a little too hot. What do I mean, 'a little'? Christ, it damned near scalded me. I knew it was way too hot the second I put my foot into it, but they weren't going to let me go. They forced me into that water. God, it burned. All over my body. They made me sit in that hot water first, and then made me stretch my whole body out in it. It was so hot they couldn't even put their own goddamned hands in it without getting burnt.
"I started to fight and yell, but with the two of them, I didn't have a chance. They just pushed me down, and luckily, the water wasn't as hot as I really thought it was. Oh, sure, it burned hell out of my skin for a little while, but it cooled off pretty quick, and the burning didn't do any lasting harm. Thank God for that.
"I mostly remember what the hot water did to my skin. It made it red as hell. All over. These two clowns were pushing my body under the water and splashing water on the parts that weren't under. They were having one hell of a good time.
"After a while, I quit yelling and fighting and let them have their way. The water had cooled off a lot by that time. Bill picked up the soap and started in on me. He got into my hair first. 'Gotta clean up this little whore before we fuck her, right, Joe?'
"Joe agreed all the way down the line. They got my hair full of suds and started on my body. Then when the water was cool enough for them, they both climbed in with me. First they stood me up and bent me over, then Bill took the soap and stuck the whole bar into my cunt, soon pulling it out and rubbing up a lot of lather on his hands. Next he stuck his hand back into my cunt and scrubbed it out real good. He had so much of his hand up there, it hurt. But the soap made it easier for him to get in, so the pain didn't last too long.
"We all were hot by this time. My pussy was oozing juice like crazy and the two of them were standing in the tub with hard-ons that never stopped. Between them they came up with a great way of getting my back clean.
"They stood, one on each end of me, and made me bend over. Joe, in the front, stuck his cock into my mouth and Bill, behind me, sent the full length of his cock up into my cunt. Then, while they were pumping away from both ends, they rubbed that soap all over my back.
"I had never felt so full of cock-I had it in my mouth and in my pussy. Then they got into a rhythm. As Joe would press his cock down my throat, Bill would shove into my cunt. They shoved and jammed in unison, making it feel like my whole fucking body was filled with cock. It's a wonder the heads of their two cocks didn't meet somewhere around my belly.
"They kept that up a long time, these two good fuckers. Almost as long as Daddy. But then a new idea came to Bill. 'She's had so many cocks up her pussy, she's probably not enjoying this at all,' he said. Joe just laughed and agreed with him.
" 'Maybe we ought to try something new, so then maybe she'd enjoy it, too,' Bill continued. Now I didn't know what he had on his mind, because I couldn't think of anything 'new.'
"'Hold her head down tight,' Bill told his buddy, and Joe pulled his cock out of my mouth and pushed my head down between his legs. He gripped my head between his thighs, then I felt Bill, still in the back, pull his cock out of my cunt. His hands moved up a little, to the crack in my ass, and he shoved one of his lathered fingers right up into my ass-hole. It hurt, soap or no, and I let out a muffled scream.
" 'Hey,' Bill laughed. 'I think we hit virgin territory.'
"So with that, Bill pulled his one finger out and stuck his big thumb up my ass, which hurt even more. Then he gripped my ass cheeks with his other fingers and started rotating his thumb around in my ass-hole, stretching and pulling, forcing it to open wider, so that he could push his thumb up as far as it would go. I was writhing in pain by this time, but Joe had such a tight grip on my head, there wasn't anything I could do.
"Bill took his thumb out and put two fingers up my shit hole. I guess I was loosening up a little, because those two fingers didn't hurt near as much as his thumb.
"Then the two bastards changed places. Bill came forward and held my head down between his legs while Joe went behind me and took his turn at stretching my ass-hole. By this time, it wasn't feeling bad at all.
"When Bill saw I wasn't going to fight them anymore, he let my head go. There was something else he wanted. 'Hey, little whore,' he said, still laughing, 'all my life I wanted some cunt to lick my ass-hole. And guess what? You're the cunt.'
"I didn't want to lick his ass-hole. In fact, I wanted to lick his ass-hole less than anything in the world. But they had ways of persuading me. When I showed them I wasn't about to stick my tongue up his shit shaft, Joe started in with the persuasion. He hooked one thumb into my ass-hole and then when that was tight inside me, he tried to force his other thumb inside which was more pain than I'd ever felt in my life. Tears came to my eyes; my whole lower body was wracked with sharp, searing pain. I tried to pull away from them, but they held on. Joe stuck his second thumb in even farther. 'Lick that ass-hole,' he said, 'and I'll take my thumb out.'
"There wasn't anything I could do. I leaned toward Bill's ass and slowly let my tongue leave my mouth. I still didn't want to do it, but it was better than being ripped open. Bill turned his back towards me and bent over. Reaching up and separating his ass cheeks, I caught a look at his puckered hole just before I let my tongue run across it. At least it looked clean.
"Gingerly I dabbed at his ass-hole with my tongue. 'Stick it in,' Bill shouted. So I stuck. I took the bull by the horns and jammed my tongue up into his ass-hole. I felt the puckered skin give way to my tongue. I didn't taste anything-which I was thankful for-and, all in all, it wasn't an unpleasant experience. But, if the truth be known, I'd rather have somebody suck my ass-hole than do the sucking.
"I kept my tongue moving in and out of Bill's ass-hole for maybe five minutes. He was moaning with excitement. He really liked that tongue up there. Then the two of them changed positions, and I was standing there suddenly with Joe's ass stuck in my face. I was an old pro at ass-hole-licking now, so I just shoved my tongue up there and swirled it around a few times. Old Joe was in seventh heaven.
"Finally they let me stop. My tongue was getting sore. And I still didn't like the whole scene. What I was after was a good old-fashioned fuck. But they still had other ideas.
"Bill coated his cock with a whole lot of cold cream and then stuck some of it up my ass. I sort of had a feeling about what was coming. I didn't have to wait long. Bill put the head of his cock up against my ass-hole and shoved the whole goddamned length in. Now if I thought I had had pain when he put his thumb up there, it wasn't anything compared to his big prick being jammed into my ass. I felt like my whole body was on fire. I tried to jump off, but both of them held me. Bill was pumping away on my ass and Joe just stood there, holding my head down, watching his buddy fuck ass.
"Eventually, they made me stand up. Bill was still imbedded deep in my ass-hole. At the same time, Joe lowered his body and tried to get his cock into my cunt. It wouldn't work. They just couldn't get the right angle. By this time I was so worn out from the pain and trying to get away from them that I didn't give a shit what they did.
"The next bit would have been funny if it hadn't been for my ass that was suffering. Bill sort of picked me up from behind and started walking towards the bed. He carried me into the bedroom with his cock still up my ass. All Joe did was follow along and laugh at the way Bill had to walk.
"When we got to the bed, Bill told Joe to get down on the bed, on his back. Joe did what he was told. Then slowly, Bill lowered me, face down, on Joe's belly. Christ, all this moving around was stretching my ass-hole so wide, I felt like they could have parked their truck in there. And it still hurt.
"Bill was on his knees, behind me, his cock still buried in my ass, while I lay there on top of his friend. 'Scoot your cunt down on his cock, baby,' Bill said. He was all smoothness now. I slowly moved my body down until I could feel the tip of Joe's cock pressing against my pussy.
" 'She's touching it,' Joe yelled out. The dumb shit.
" 'Stick yourself on that cock, baby,' Bill said. His voice was hoarse from excitement, just the way Daddy's had been that first night.
" 'Fuck yourself on that big prick,' Bill shouted, and with his hands pulled me down so that I settled onto Joe's cock. I could feel it inching into me as I moved my body down. In just a couple of seconds it was all the way in.
"Getting fucked in the ass didn't turn me on at all. There was no feeling at all, except for the pain, and the excitement of having it done to me. But when I felt Joe's big cock inside my cunt, I got turned on. I came almost right away and then began building up again. I moved my ass as much as I could, feeling Bill's body bang against it as he kept on, and kept on, fucking my ass."
Toni went on to catalogue a week of sexual horrors. But to her it wasn't a horrible experience. She told herself she could accept all this being done to her because she could fantasize her father's presence. The persistent hound of Electra.
Toni was rationalizing. She could accept these assaults because she wanted to have them perpetrated on her body. In actuality, Toni was an ultimate masochist who retained some semblance of mental balance by blaming her actions on her father. That he had once participated in such actions with her was ample proof to Toni that she was telling herself the truth.
Did she love her father? Let's hear the rest of her story and discover for ourselves.
"The week went on like that. I had white cocks, black cocks, brown ones, yellow ones. All kinds. And in just about every hole in my body, with maybe the exception of my nose. And to tell you the truth, I loved it. Mainly because with each guy who fucked me, I pretended it was Daddy. He fucked me. I sucked him. So I loved doing it and having it done to me.
"The game had to come to an end, though, because Carl had only paid a week's rent and he wasn't coming back. And sure as hell, none of those other motherfuckers were going to pay any rent for me. All they wanted was to fuck and run.
"But I never knew what day it was, or what time it was. Christ, I wasn't even too sure of what month it was. My pussy had been used so many times I would have had to know trigonometry to figure up the total. But it felt good. My pussy, I mean. It really liked to get fucked.
"So when I hear another knock on the door, I take it for granted that it's another truck driver with a horny cock in his pants. I scooted over to the side of the bed, stuck my legs down to the floor and aimed my pussy at the door. 'Come on in,' I shouted.
"An old guy walks in and does a double-take when he sees my pussy. He was dressed a lot different than the other drivers, sporting a pair of dressy trousers and a real expensive looking sweater. And he was a hell of a lot older than the other guys had been. Gray hair even.
"From the look on his face I think he's going to have a heart attack. The thought kept running through my mind that maybe he'd never seen a cunt before. Well, he sure as hell was going to see one now. I reached down and stuck a couple of fingers inside. That'd give him a start, let him know what cunts were really for.
"When he sees that, he gets even more worried looking. And then he acts like he wants to say something. 'C'mon, pops,' I said, calling to him, 'drop your pants and stick your cock up here.'
"That did it. He had that door closed and was out of there in record time. I laughed out loud and settled back on the bed. I guessed maybe I was a little too forward. Scared him a little.
"I finished off a gulp of gin somebody had left there and ate the last of a bag of potato chips. Then, I guess, I fell asleep, because the next thing I knew there were three guys in the room. And I had the feeling they weren't looking for a fuck. Two of them had uniforms on-cop uniforms-and the third man was the imagine dressed guy who had just run out. He was, it turned out, the manager of the place. He'd come to collect some rent.
"I offered the cops a good fuck, but the goddamned bohunks wouldn't take me up on the deal.
They just stood around and watched me for a while, and then one of the sons of bitches threw a blanket around me. I tried to throw it off, telling them I wanted to be naked, but they put it right back on. In fact, they held my arms down. One of the cops put in a phone call.
"A half hour later, I was in an ambulance heading for some hospital. What do I mean 'some' hospital? This hospital. I've been here ever since. And I'll tell you one thing, it sure as hell is hard to find somebody to give you a good fuck here. In fact, I haven't had any. And believe me, my pussy is telling me about it.
"Daddy came to visit me on about my second day here. He looked worried. I guess all parents worry when their kids are in the hospital. I told him not to worry, that I'd get well real soon and be back with him in the blue and white trailer. And then-and I whispered this to him-maybe we could get back to where we started. I told him I'd suck him until he was sore. And he could fuck me all he wanted. That brought tears to his eyes. I'd never seen him cry before like that.
"And when he leaned over to kiss me good-bye, I SPIT RIGHT IN HIS FACE!"
A tragic story. Toni has now spent over a year in a state asylum for the insane. She may never recover.
Who is to blame for her tragic life? The father? Certainly he contributed to the cause of her illness by refusing, or being too ignorant, to recognize his obligations as a father. But there are literally millions of children brought up in circumstances similar to Toni's, though their cases may never become as serious and prolonged as hers.
Obviously, the young girl was insane. But when did this insanity begin? On the night when her father first showed sexual interest in her? Was it born into Toni? Did it develop in the course of years, while she and her father were thrown into closer and closer contact as a result of her mother's death?
Even with Toni's own statements, the origin of her mental disability is unclear. It would seem to have been activated by the father's action in removing her from his presence.
His sending Toni to live with her aunt seemed to have a cataclysmic effect, though he thought he was doing the right thing.
All parents want their children to be secure and happy-no one deliberately tries to make his child fearful, shy, inconsiderate, or obnoxious-no one in their right mind, that is. And Toni's father was no different. He wanted her to be happy, but he just didn't know how to help her be that way.
CHAPTER FOUR
Joan and Jimmy: Incestuous Sadism
"I don't know what got into me, but I was so goddamned mad that I slugged her alongside the head and she flew back against the couch. She laid there with her fucking little pussy sticking up in the air, the cunt hairs showing through those thin little pants she wore all the time, and I couldn't help myself-I ripped open my pants, let my cock fly out, then settled between her legs.
"One pull on those flimsy panties of hers tore them apart and there was her beautiful little untouched pussy. I spit in my hand, spread the juice on my cock and stuck it in her. I rode her pussy for about five minutes, all the time with her yelling out for me to please stop-which only turned me on more-and then I shot. It was the best fuck I'd ever had.
"The only problem was that Jimmy, my son, her brother, was standing at the door watching.
"You gotta believe me when I tell you that was the first time I'd ever actually touched her, although I'd thought about it a lot before. She was always wearing those goddamned short little dresses that showed off her twat just about every time she moved. And I figured if she was offering it around so much, she was probably anxious to have somebody take her up on the offer.
"Shit, even if she was my daughter. So what? I mean a fuck is a fuck, right? And if she wanted to get a prick stuck up her pussy, what the hell difference did it make if I was her old man or not?
"I honest to God didn't know she was a goddamned virgin. You gotta believe me on that. I was sure some young stud had copped a a fuck off that beautiful little pussy. Hell, she was sixteen. By that age her mother had known the size of every cock in her neighborhood, including mine, and I naturally thought Joannie was like her mother.
"But she just screamed and screamed while I was slamming my prick into her. Then I looked down and saw blood running down her thighs and I knew I had copped her cherry. Christ, did that turn me on. I was a madman. I fucked her like I had to come in that hole of hers or die. And I could feel my cock was hard as steel. That was really a good fuck.
"You see, I still don't see how she managed not to get fucked, especially in the neighborhood we were living in. All the kids around there lived like four or five to the bedroom, and they learned about fucking and sucking at a real young age. My kids were the same way, except there were only two of them and they weren't shoved together so much.
"I'd seen girls a hell of a lot younger taking it up the pussy from guys in that neighborhood right in the middle of the day. One time I passed this car and right in the back seat, right in front of anybody who was passing, this little cunt who lived up the street was taking it from her boyfriend. How'd I know Joannie was the only virgin in the whole fucking neighborhood.
"And Jimmy? He showed just what a fucking ass lousy brother he was. He just stood and watched his sister getting it from me. I guess he got his rocks off a little just watching. He's sort of a weird kid. Real quiet. Never says much.
"After I banged Joannie good, he just turned and walked out of the room. Then about a half hour later, he returned and came at me with a knife, a big fucking butcher knife. He was crying and slobbering as he rushed at me holding that knife up in the air. You could tell from the way he was holding it that he'd never done anything in his life with a knife except eat his dinner. I made one feint and had the goddamned thing out of his hand.
"Then I knocked the shit out of him, that's what I did. What else could he expect, coming at his own father like that? He would have killed me, you know. Or cut off my nuts. I was in the bathroom at the time, naked, and he comes storming in slobbering about cutting them off. I guess he meant my nuts.
"But I got hold of that knife and then I slapped him around good. You see, doc, you gotta have discipline in your house, right? You gotta control your kids or they'll control you. I always kept my kids in line with a good clout.
"Then, too, I always got this feeling when I was knocking them around. I swear to God it was like I was fucking somebody. That's how good the feeling was. Just as soon as I'd hear and feel my hand slam against their naked skin-whether it was their face or their ass, or anywhere-I'd get this feeling and my cock would start to jerk around and then get hard. I guess that makes me sort of weird, but that's the way it is.
"But what the hell, the kids are mine. They belong to me. I made them and I've spent a hell of a lot of money putting clothes on their backs and putting food in their bellies. Why in the hell shouldn't I have a little fun in return. I never hurt 'em really bad-just a few good licks now and again.
"But this time I guess I went a little farther than I usually did. I mean, fucking the kid and everything. And beating Jimmy up pretty bad. But that still wasn't no excuse for the little bastards to take off. That's what they did, the cock-suckers. They took off, both of them. Ungrateful little shitheads. But I knew where they went. This lady who lives down the street a couple of blocks took them in.
"Now there's a case. This lady calls herself a spinster, and puts on airs like she'd pass out if she ever so much as saw a cock, but she's all the time got these young studs and pussies hanging around her house. She says she gives them cookies and milk. I'll bet. What the hell does a sixteen-and a seventeen-year-old kid want with cookies and milk. They're after cock and pussy. At least if they're normal they are. So I'll bet that old bitch is getting some from those kids. She might even be real weird and like it from the girls. You know, the lesbian stuff.
"Anyway, I headed over there and brought my kids back real fast.
"We're all standing around in the living room and I'm raising particular hell about their leaving-you see, we were on welfare at the time, and if they left the house, the checks went with them. Then, all of a sudden, Jimmy starts turning real mean. His one eye was black and blue from where I'd clobbered him a couple of times, but he still managed to be a real punk.
" 'If you touch her again, I'll kill you,' he says. I laughed. It did my heart good to see a brother and sister who liked each other so much. Then the idea hit me: If the bastard liked his sister so damned much, why not make him fuck her?
"I admit that I was stony-assed drunk by this time-and I always had those kinds of ideas when I was drunk. But anyway, no matter what condition I was in, when that idea hit my head, I couldn't let it rest. I called a drinking buddy of mine and asked him if he wanted to see a real different kind of sex show. He said sure, so I told him to come over and help me out.
"As soon as the guy showed up, we went into Jimmy's bedroom. He was sleeping. I had a piece of rope and quick as we could, before Jimmy was fully awake, we tied his hands behind his back. He tried to fight a little, but I laid one on the side of his head with the flat of my hand and that settled him down really fast.
"My buddy and I led him into Joannie's bedroom where we found her doing her homework. I tell you these kids were real goodie-goodies. Right away I told Joan to get on the bed or I'd knock the shit out of her brother, and she did what I told her.
"Then my buddy and I stripped down both of them. You should have seen the look on my buddy's face when he saw Joan naked. She was a great looking little blonde, with a perfect, just perfect set of tits, and a beautiful little nipped-in waist that ran down into the most gorgeous hips I'd ever seen. God, she was something. Makes my cock hard just thinking of it. And there she was, laying on the bed, almost completely helpless. She had the finest little cunt hairs. Sort of bushy and light brown. I can remember walking over to the bed and running my hand through them. Then I stuck a finger up her cunt. She was dry as a bone and I could tell the finger hurt her, because she moved away from it and moaned. But knowing it hurt her only made me want to stick it up in her farther.
"Jimmy made-some noises about killing me if I didn't stop fooling around with her. I turned around and slammed him across the face with the palm of my hand as hard as I could. His teeth shook and he staggered about five feet. That's how hard I hit him. He didn't make any more threats.
"My buddy comes up with the idea that he's going to fuck Joan. But I don't allow that. The slob is never going to get closer to her than watching her get it up the pussy. He's liable to give her a disease.
"Anyway, after I slammed Jimmy, I went back to Joan on the bed. She was still laying there, stiff as a board. She looked up at me and I knew she was scared shitless. That only made the whole deal more exciting.
"I asked her what she thought of the idea of Jimmy fucking her. Christ, you should have seen the look that came over her face. Pure terror. Jesus, that turned me on.
"I turned to Jimmy and told him to get on the bed and stick his cock in his sister. But he just stood there and looked at me. I knew he was going to need some persuasion, so I took the belt off my pants and turned back to Joan. 'I'm gonna beat her with this goddamned belt until you get up on that bed and stick your cock in her,' I told him. He started towards me, but my buddy held on to him. That was one thing you had to give to my buddy; he was a slob but he was strong.
"I lifted the belt and brought it down right across Joan's tits. It left a red mark right away. That was the first time I had ever hit anybody with anything but my fist and I tell you, I almost came in my pants. I was so excited I thought my cock would explode.
" 'You ready to fuck her?' I asked Jimmy. He still just stood there. I raised the belt again.
" 'Wait a minute ... I'll do it!' Jimmy said finally.
"I looked over at him and laughed. 'How you going to do it?' I asked. 'Your cock isn't even hard.' He looked down at his pecker, which was all shriveled up. Shit, he couldn't have fucked a flea with that little thing.
"I told him to get his ass over to the bed. He stood there, above Joan. I told her to get her mouth up and start sucking on Jimmy's cock. I told her to get it hard and to get it hard fast. She wouldn't do it. At least not for a couple of seconds. All I had to do, though, was let that belt whistle down as hard as I could on Jimmy's ass. That brought her to her senses right off. She leaned up and started licking on that goddamned little cock. I knew from the way she did it that she'd never sucked cock before.
" 'Take it all the way in your mouth,' I told her, 'and suck on it hard.' When she didn't move fast enough for me, I let that belt fall across her ass good and hard. Then she moved.
"Miracle of all miracles, after just a couple of seconds, Jimmy's cock started to flower. I mean it really came alive. It got thick and long and red. It was a cock a kid-and his father-could be proud of. I told Jimmy he had a good cock and the little bastard spit on me. Spit right on me. That earned him about three more good hard whacks from my belt. He spit; then she got whacked. It worked. I figured that out real early. I could get them to do anything, just by hurting the other one.
"Jimmy's cock stayed hard even though she wasn't licking and sucking on it, so I knew that deep down he was turned on by the prospect of laying his cock inside his sister's pussy. And if he was turned on, you should have seen me. My cock was so hard I felt like I could have fucked a statue. But if you want the truth, I wanted more to see Joannie get fucked than do the fucking myself.
"As for my friend, he just stood there with his mouth open. He was having a great time.
"I shoved a pillow under Joan's ass and told Jimmy to get up on the bed. He hesitated a little and that belt whistled through the air again. And when I pulled the belt back there was dew on Joan's pussy. Shit, she was turned on by this scene too. I reached down and stuck my finger in her.
Sure enough, she was dripping.
"Jimmy was on his knees by this time on the bed and I told him to stick it in her. I told Joan to raise her legs and put them on her brother's shoulders. She did what she was told. Jimmy scooted up, closer to her cunt, and aimed his cock. He pushed a little. Nothing happened. The cock just pressed against her pussy.
"So I got into the act. I held Jimmy's cock with one hand and pushed his ass with the other. That got them together. His prick slid into her just as nice and easy as anything.
" 'Now fuck her good,' I said, and stood back and watched Jimmy move in and out real slow. I have to admit it was hard for the kid with his arms tied. He couldn't get any leverage. And he kept falling off balance. So I stood away from him, above Joan's head, still holding the belt in my hand. I told him if he tried anything funny I'd bring that belt down good and hard on her. Then I told my buddy to untie the ropes.
"As soon as he was loose, Jimmy started doing a better job. He angled himself and plunged his cock in. Matter of fact, he didn't need too much encouragement. He moved in and out faster and faster, and the more he moved the hotter he got. I guess when it comes right down to it, a fuck is a fuck and if you're excited enough it doesn't matter who's under you.
"It didn't seem to matter to Jimmy that it was his sister he was fucking. He slammed that big prick of his into her again and again. He held on to her ass and pushed himself into her the full length. Then he'd pull back, so his whole cock was out of her, and then send that pecker back in full-length.
"He had Joannie moaning now. I don't know if it was from pain or pleasure and I didn't give a damn. All I could do was watch Jimmy fucking her, torturing her cunt, bruising those tender, young pussy lips.
"I had to have some relief for myself so I let my hand fall and started rubbing my own cock through my pants. But that wasn't enough. I whipped my pecker out and started beating it. I was really excited, but not enough to forget to hold on to that belt in case Jimmy tried anything funny. But there wasn't much chance of that. The fucking was really getting to him now. He was plunging into her like a stud mule, and I could see by the look on Joannie's face that she wasn't exactly having a rotten time.
"The scene was so goddamned exciting that I knew I was going to shoot. But just to add a little spice, I started bringing that belt of mine down on Jimmy's shoulders. 'Shoot,' I yelled at him, and continued whistling that belt through the air. 'Shoot your jizz in her pussy!'
"He did shoot. A tremendous load! He bucked and pushed against her, trying to get even more of his cock up into her cunt. Then he moaned and I knew he was shooting his stream of come into Joan's hole. I brought the belt down once more on his back and felt my own come rising in my cock. Then I stepped over closer to the bed and let go.
"I shot without even touching myself. The scene in front of me had made me so excited that I just exploded. And I picked a good spot-right on Joannie. I splattered come all over her. Christ, it was the most exciting thing I'd ever seen.
"I left the kids to figure out what in the hell they were going to do. I didn't have any solution. They'd probably try to leave the house, but I'd get them back. Hell, the police would help me do that if necessary."
There is considerable confusion today as to what is normal in sex behavior and what is abnormal.
Ignorance regarding what is sexually acceptable and what deviations are prohibitive constitutes part of modern man's sexual inadequacy.
As has been said before, according to Freud, there is in all human beings a tendency unconsciously, if not consciously, to depart from conventional sex relations as evidenced by his statement: "Probably there is no healthy person in whom there does not exist, at some time or another, some kind of supplement to his normal sexual activity, to which we should be justified in giving the name 'perversity'. "
From the beginning of time, it was believed that any sex act which did not lead to the procreation of the human race was abnormal. Later society accepted certain variations of sex expression as normal, provided they ultimately led to the act of procreational coitus. Others expressed the opinion that if a particular sexual activity was preferred to coitus or took its place as a mode of gratification then it was abnormal. This would mean that if a couple engaged in mutual masturbation rather than engage in coitus for one reason or another, then such an activity was called a "perversion."
Many psychiatrists believe that any sex technique, within reason, resorted to in private, may be regarded as normal. The term "within reason" involves the respective mental attitudes of the persons involved. Drs. Abraham and Hannah Stone, authors of Marriage Manual, feel that there are no particular norms to follow but that "one should preferably develop one's ingenuity and skill and make sex life a mutual adventure." In fact, variations tend to "spice the pot."
Not all deviations are abnormal; some come within the range of normality. But there are others that are considered neurotic sexual aberrations those, for example, that involve inflicting pain or suffering pain (sadism and masochism); exposing one's sexual parts in public (exhibitionism) ; incest; homosexuality; pedophilia (sexual love of boys); fetishism (masturbation with inanimate objects for sexual stimulation such as lady's shoes, undergarments, gloves, etc.) ; bestiality (sexual relations with animals); and many other that are regarded by psychiatrists as abnormal.
To differentiate between that which is normal and that which is abnormal one must take into consideration the nature and motivation of the particular sexual act as well as the attitude of the persons involved. The late Dr. A. A. Brill, the world-famous psychoanalyst, was of the same opinion. He found that deviations from the normal were frequently encountered in the "intimate lives of otherwise normal people." He goes on to say: "We call them perversions only when they absolutely dominate the picture, that is, when they are fixed. Occasional indulgence in these acts does not stamp those practicing them as abnormal."
Now that we have an explanation, and hopefully, some understanding of the nature of perversion and deviation, let's continue with the Carlton case history.
"I was right. The kids did try to run away, but I called the cops on them and had them home in less than half a day. I guess both of them were so embarrassed by the whole scene that they couldn't bring themselves to tell the cops, or anybody, what was going on. I guess they resigned themselves to staying at home, because they didn't try that running-away trick anymore.
"Of course, they wouldn't talk to me and every time I looked at them, they stared back with so much hate, I thought my blood would freeze. Course, I always had a lot of anti-freeze working for me back in those days.
"A couple of days later, I was sitting in a bar with the same friend who had watched the fucking match between the kids. I can't tell you his name, 'cause I don't want to get him in trouble. We were talking about how exciting the whole thing had been. He said he still dreamt of it. It was the most exciting thing he'd ever seen in his life. What else is new?
"And then he comes up with a statement that really made my ears perk up. He said, 'Why don't you put that whole thing on film. Just the way it happened. Christ, you'd make a million bucks.'
"I did. I got the whole thing on film. Course I didn't make a million bucks, but I got a couple of thousand out of it. That buys a lot of booze.
"It took me two weeks to get things straightened out. First, of course, I had to find some freaky film maker, but that's no problem these days. I even got an actor who'd play in the thing. My role. Christ, I didn't want my face in the film. What if my case worker saw it?
"The biggest problem was getting the kids to cooperate. I could go through the whole thing, you know, with the threats and all that jazz, but I didn't think the two kids would react the same way if there were a lot of people around they didn't know. Like I didn't think Jimmy would take to fucking in front of a crowd. And I wanted this to be the sexiest dirty film ever made.
"The film maker, for a big cut, arranged all the physical stuff, you know, like renting a studio. It was my job to get the kids there and get them willing. It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. Through channels I came across this wino who used to be a chemist. Now all he could do was come up with nonprescription 'medicines' for his friends. The money from that kept him in booze, so he was happy.
"I told him what I wanted-not knowing if such a thing existed or not-and he laughed and left the bar. A half hour later he was back, held out his hand for the ten bucks I had promised him, and then gave me a small bottle filled with clear liquid. 'Guaranteed,' he said, 'and safe as ice water.'
"On the Saturday morning that everything was arranged for, I added the liquid to the kids' orange juice. It didn't have any taste of its own, so they slugged it down. Nothing seemed to happen-at least for a half hour.
"Then when I went looking for them, ready to head for the studio, I was in for a halfway shock. I found Joannie on her bed. She was stoned! Glass-eyed stoned. I've never seen anybody breathing who looked more like a mummy. I went into Jim's room and he was in the same condition. I called the chemist, mad as hell. 'Give 'em an hour,' he said, 'and they'll be so horny they won't be able to see straight.'
"I got the kids into the car in a hurry and headed for the studio. I wanted to get them there before the stuff took hold. I don't allow fucking in the car.
"The studio was an old deserted garage. When you went in, all you could see was a bunch of sets lining the walls. There were a couple of bedrooms, a bar, a toilet, a living room, and even an outdoors set. The place was set up for production-line fuck films.
"There were four guys there already. One was the cameraman, one the actor I mentioned, and the other two handled the lights and sound. Yeah, sound. This was going to be a real production.
"Cal, the cameraman, took one look at the kids and asked who the zombies were. I explained what was happening and he liked it. 'C'mon,' he said. 'Let's get going so we don't miss any of the good stuff.'
"I stripped both the kids down-you should have heard the whistles when Joannie was down to the buff-and we sat around and waited. I was just getting ready to go out and kill that fucking chemist when the action started. Jimmy had been sitting in a chair, staring straight ahead. Then, all of a sudden, he groaned real low. We all looked at him. That was the first sound either of them had made since they'd been there.
"Jimmy moved his hand down to his prick. He started playing with himself and groaning. His cock was standing up straight in just a couple of seconds.
" 'Let's get this thing on the road,' Cal said, 'before he rapes somebody.'
"They got Joan on the bed. She was groaning now too, and we had a hell of a time keeping her from putting her fist up her cunt. We finally had to tie her arms.
"We also tied Jimmy and that worked great because while he was struggling to get to his cock, it looked like he was fighting to get away. So the film started rolling. The actor was good. He pulled Jimmy into the bedroom and then Cal took a close-up of Joan on the bed. You gotta establish these things right off.
"Well, I won't go into the whole story, except that everything went fine. Jimmy fucked her cunt until I thought they'd both drop dead. I've never seen action like that before in my life, and the actor with the belt really liked his work too. He whammed into those kids so hard, I thought he'd bruise them.
"Then finally, when Jimmy had come the third time, yeah, I said third, Cal called an end to the filming. That's when the script changed. The actor with the belt, who had jacked off on Joannie, wasn't done yet-as soon as Jimmy took his cock out or her hole, he was in there. And he had a monster cock. He positioned it at the front of her pussy and shoved. I swear to God I think I saw her eye-teeth rattle when he got that big prick of his into her. But she just wiggled around on the bed and wanted more. Christ, that stuff had really worked!
"And Jimmy was no slouch, either. He'd already come three times, but he was still looking for somewhere to stick his prick. He was in for a surprise, though. And so was I. The guy who did the lighting had a new trick for Jimmy; he pushed the kid over on the bed, so he was bent with his ass sticking out, then the guy rubbed some stuff from a tube he had in his pocket on Jimmy's ass. Then he slid his big hard cock right up into Jimmy's ass-hole.
"Now I'm not queer or anything, but that sure did excite me, seeing Jimmy take a cock up his ass. I guess what really did it was the way Jimmy was yelling and screaming his head off. He was really in pain, and that made me hot. So hot I shot right out into mid-air. All I did was touch my cock and it shot off. Bigger than shit.
"But back on the bed, the actor was still plugging Joannie. She was arching her back, taking more and more of that cock inside her. Then the guy flipped her over and got her up on her hands and knees. He stood on the floor by the side of the bed and slammed his cock into her with every bit of force he could come up with. He fucked her faster and faster-then shot his load. And she bucked and pressed back on him while he was shooting his jism up her cunt. She wanted more.
"She got it.
"As soon as the actor pulled out, Cal assumed the position. He started plugging her sideways. Her cunt was so stretched by this time, he could aim his cock in almost sideways and get it in. It should have hurt like hell, but Joannie really liked it. Then to add a little spice, the last guy, the soundman, jumped up on the bed and whipped out his cock. He stuck it into Joannie's mouth and let her suck on it. Christ, what a sight. Joannie was getting it from both ends and not more than four feet away Jimmy was still getting his ass reamed.
"That whole scene was good for another explosion from me. Which was pretty good, because I hadn't come twice in the same day in years.
"I saw the film once before it was sold, and it was beautiful. And the best thing, I made Joan and Jimmy sit through it. And they were both cold sober. You should have seen their faces. They didn't remember much about that Saturday morning, but the film sure reminded them. Joannie was sobbing her eyes out when it was over, but Jimmy just sat there and stared straight ahead. I looked down in his lap and saw that he had a big, fucking hard-on. So I knew I had one friend in their camp.
"I told both the kids that I had a copy of that film and if they did anything from now on that was out of line, I'd just pull that old film out and let some people see it, like their goddamned school principal who they thought so much of. I had both of them by the balls, so to speak.
"I got a check from Cal for $2200 about three weeks later. That was pretty good for a morning's work, and the best thing was that Uncle Sam didn't know a thing about it. I heard later that the film was selling for around $350, which was making somebody a hell of a lot of money.
"But by that time I had a lot more plans for those two kids. They were young and they were good looking. They were going to make me some more money."
Within a year, Carlton had his two children doing live and private performances. In the beginning, he had to rely on his chemist friend to supply him with that "clear liquid" to get the kids to cooperate. Eventually, however, both of them became conditioned and performed willingly without the use of drugs. Carlton was making good money from their performances, but he wasn't satisfied.
You must remember that his primary motive, even more important to him than the money, was the sadism involved in what he was making them do and turning them into. That is what he got his thrills from. And with that goal in mind, we can continue his case history to the point where we catalogue the horrors his twisted mind devised.
"One day I got this call from a guy who had hired the kids once before. He said he had an extra special situation. Would I be interested?
"Is money green?
"I went over to his office and talked to him. His deal sounded interesting. This freaky group from the East had rented a yacht for a week. His plan was to hire Joan and Jimmy to perform for that group, and then stay on for the entire week's trip. I was allowed to go too, as their 'mentor.' The only condition was that the kids would be the property of the people on the boat; anything they wanted to do, or have done, to the kids had to be alright.
"I made the deal right then and there.
"The yacht left from Marina del Rey in Los Angeles. The kids and I had arrived early, before any of the other passengers. Jimmy and Joan were actually kind of excited about the trip. Of course, I hadn't given them the whole story on their 'duties.' It wasn't for them to know-yet.
"I found out from talking to the guy who did the hiring that the people who were due to take this little week-long sail were members of what I guess you could call a 'freak-out' club. Once a year, from all over the country, they got together and let their hair down. They'd always pick someplace like a boat or an island off of Mexico-some place like that where they'd have less chance of getting caught.
"The plans were to have the kids and me wait in our cabin until ten that night. By that time we'd be past the three mile limit. And then, I guess, anything went.
"We had our act all set. Actually, it was the same one we used the first time it happened-with variations, of course. And on this trip there really were some variations.
"But we got cancelled that night. It seems that everybody was so damned glad to see each other, after more than a year, that they were doing their own sucking and fucking and didn't need any stimulation from our little act. We'd be on the next night.
"I told the kids to stay in the cabin and took a walk for myself around midnight. The guy hadn't been kidding. There were naked bodies all over the goddamned boat, in all sorts of positions. I kept track as I wandered around, and I saw some real sights. One threesome were still at it. This gal had one guy up her cunt and another up her ass-right on the deck. And a foursome I saw a little later was really way out. One guy was fucking one of the girls in the cunt, while at the same time, the other gal was sitting on the first one's face, having her pussy eaten out like crazy. And then to finish up the quartet, the second guy had his cock rammed up the first guy's ass.
"And everybody I saw was fairly young and good-looking. There weren't any dogs. It looked like it was going to be a wild, crazy week.
"All our meals were served in the cabin, so by the next night I was going stir crazy, and so were the kids. They wanted us to be a novelty, so we had to stay out of sight. In fact, if the guy who hired us knew about my walk on the deck, he probably would have been pissed as hell.
"The act fell flat. I guess the kids just didn't look innocent enough anymore, and those sophisticated people didn't give a damn about an old wino-fart like me jacking off on his daughter. They almost booed us off the stage. The entertainment they came up with for the kids was more to their liking.
"First they had an auction. Joannie was what was auctioned off. She threw me a look that sent daggers along with it-mainly because I hadn't told them about this bit-but she finally went along with it.
"The host, or whatever the hell he called himself, took bids for her. 'The best fuck in the world,' he called her. 'Who'll bid.'
"It was all a big farce. The first guy who bid offered a quarter and that was it-Joannie was his. But then there was an added kick to the game. The guy who bought her turned right around and started selling fucks for ten cents a piece. 'We'll see,' the guy said, 'how long this little lady can hold out.'
"Now Joannie hadn't had any of the special 'sex juice' I got from that chemist. And I didn't have any, so she was on her own. She protested a little bit when she found out what was going to happen, but then three guys walked up to her, threw her on the bed and held her down. That kept her quiet.
"The first guy came up and gave Joannie's 'owner' a dime. He stripped off his clothes and hopped on the bed. The three guys holding Joannie lifted her legs and the guy plowed his cock inside, without touching her, except for his cock. He just knelt there and fucked her. He slammed into her maybe a hundred and fifty times. That was a lot for Joannie to take, especially after going through a really good fucking from Jim.
"But she wasn't really started yet. It seemed the game was how many could fuck her until she gave out, or passed out. Because as soon as that first guy shot his load and pulled out of her, a second got up on the stage, yanked off his clothes and got on the bed. Joannie's legs were still up in the air. In fact, her legs stayed that way for almost an hour and a half.
"Just watching her take one cock after another had me really horny. My cock was just as stiff as the ones that were plowing into her pussy.
"At one point I looked over to Jimmy and he was sitting there staring straight at his sister, also with one fucking giant of a hard-on. That was Jimmy for you. All this action over the last year had turned him into a real fucking machine.
"Number four doused Joannie's cunt with still more come. She'd been held in that one position, taking one cock after another, for over a half hour. I looked at her in between fucks. She had come running down her thighs. That's how full she was of the stuff.
"I could hear her mumbling. I guess she was really suffering, but shit, that was the best part. I hadn't had any excitement like this for a long time.
"After number six, they gave Joannie to a huge Negro fellow. He didn't want to take her, but when they showed him that white cunt, he went ape. And I mean Ape. He didn't strip off his clothes. He just opened his fly and pulled out the biggest goddamned cock I've ever seen in my life, and believe me, since I've been in this racket with the kids, I've seen a lot of them.
"That buck's cock had to measure at least a foot. And it wasn't even all the way hard yet. The damned thing looked like a black baseball bat. I swear to God it did.
"First the guy wanted Joannie to lick his cock a little. He leaned down over the bed and stuck that prick of his right in her face. I could tell that Joannie was getting tired, but shit, I think she was beginning to like having all that weird sex as much as I liked seeing her get it. I had two really weird kids.
"Joannie lifted up her head and took the head of the colored guy's prick into her mouth. Just the head on the giant thing sort of gagged her, but she stuck with him as he inched his big fucking rod down her throat. Joannie tried her damnedest to suck on it, but it was too big-she couldn't get any pressure on it. But that was okay with the colored boy. He just wanted to get that pecker down her throat so he could fuck her face.
"They got to the point where Joannie couldn't take any more. There wasn't room for any more in her. I guessed she had maybe five inches of that black cock wedged in her throat. Then the guy pulled it out and slammed it back into her face. Joannie gagged like hell, but she held on. He pulled back again and slammed into her again. Everybody in the place was watching this bit by now. You couldn't help yourself.
"Joannie tried to get into a better position, but those three guys were still holding her down. She had to just lie there and take that cock straight down her throat. The colored boy plowed his prick into her mouth about ten or twelve times and then pulled it all the way out. He stood over her for a few seconds, smiling. Then he lowered his whole body down on top of her. His big hairy balls were hanging right on top of Joannie's lips. Then guess what-she reached up with her mouth and took one of them inside.
" 'Suck 'em good and gentle,' the colored guy said. I had a feeling if she didn't he was going to shove that cock of his so far into her he'd choke her.
"But she sucked him just right. He squatted there, a wide grin on his face. He was enjoying himself-and so was she.
"He jumped off the bed and came around to the bottom where Joannie's legs were still being held in the air. He reached down and stuck two of his fingers up inside her cunt, then he pulled them out and looked around. "There's too much fucking come up there,' he said. 'I couldn't even get in.'
"He shoved his fingers up again, pushing, torturing Joannie's pussy. He pulled his hand out and looked at it. 'I'm not going in that messy hole,' he said, laughing out loud. 'But she's got another hole.'
"The whole room quieted down. The colored guy was going to fuck her in the ass-nothing new for this group, except that the guy had such a tremendously big prick. Most people in the room thought he'd stretch her something awful, and so did I. That's why I was so fucking hot-he was going to ram that cock all the way up into her ass-a foot of thick cock. Christ, she'd probably not be able to take it all.
"I took my own cock out when he climbed up on the bed behind Joannie and started jacking myself off fast. Then he reached into her cunt again and pulled his hand out covered with come. Next he reached down and wiped his fingers around Joannie's ass-hole, then stuck one inside, pulling and stretching her ass muscles as he lubricated her.
"Then his hand went back to the pussy. Again he pulled it out covered with jism. He used that to wipe on his own cock, smearing it around good until his black prick was shining and slippery.
" 'You better relax that sweet little ass-hole of yours,' he said quietly, 'or I might hurt it.'
"I couldn't see if Joannie responded or not. All I could see was her ass, with both her cunt and her ass-hole wide open and ready. Any place that big guy wanted to fuck her, she was ready.
"A lot more people got on the stage. Stood right around the bed, staring down at Joannie and that big colored guy. Christ, his cock seemed to get bigger every second. Then, just before he was ready to plunge that rod into Joannie's ass, a woman scrambled on the bed and put her head down in the colored guy's lap. She wanted to suck on that cock before he shoved it into Joannie.
"He knelt up and let the woman take as much of his cock as she could-as much as Joannie had about five inches. The guy stood up, with the woman still hanging by her mouth on his cock. He grabbed her ears, pushing her on farther, then he started fucking her face. I swear to God, I think he hated that woman for some reason. I've never seen anybody fuck a gal's face that hard and that brutally before in my life. He kept hold of her ears and pulled his goddamned cock all the way out of her mouth and then without a second's hesitation, not even giving her a chance to breathe, he'd shove it all the way in. From the sounds she was making, the guy was blocking her wind passage with his prick. And from the look on his face, he didn't give a shit what happened to her.
"While all this was going on, there was still a little action on the bed. Don't forget, the game was to see just how much consecutive fucking Joannie could take before she gave out.
"One guy had his cock stuck in her mouth and another had decided to do her a favor and open her ass a little for the colored man. The 'good Samaritan' had a good sized cock on him, but it looked like a midget next to the Negro's.
"While the Negro was still face-fucking the gal on the floor, Joannie's ass was being opened. The guy leaned way up on his hands, with his arms straight, and then he plunged into her. I could hear her scream, even with a cock in her mouth, because the guy had plunged his whole length into her ass from above adding all his weight to the penetration.
"Of course, Joannie's body got used to that cock real fast, because she's been fucked in her shit hole pretty often. Still, that initial plunge was pretty rough. There was no question about it.
"I was waiting for the colored guy to get into Joannie, but he was still going after the woman on the floor. That's when Jimmy got into the act. He'd been sitting there just jacking off his peter, getting more and more excited with all the action. Then after a while, he couldn't stand it anymore and got up on the stage.
"He reached down and pulled the panties off the woman who was sucking the colored guy, so that her whole ass and cunt were hanging out. He didn't even test her to see if she was wet. He just put his dick up against her cunt and pushed. It slid in easy as anything. That woman's cunt was ready and willing.
"Jimmy looked at the colored guy and smiled. 'You want us to give it to her together?' he asked. The Negro smiled and nodded his head, never missing a stroke.
"They got synchronized. Just as that big black prick forced itself into her throat, Jimmy would ram into her cunt. She was getting it from both ends and she was loving it. She wriggled her ass around, pulling Jimmy into her farther, milking his cock. At the same time, she managed to take almost all of the Negro's big, black cock down into her throat.
"Finally, both Jimmy and the colored guy got tired of the game they were playing with the woman. Jimmy didn't want to come in her and neither did the Negro. They both got together and pulled out of her at the same time. She got down on her knees again, begging them to continue, but they wouldn't. They both headed for Joannie.
"The guy who was fucking Joannie's ass-hole had long since shot his load. He was just kneeling there, his cock still impaled in her ass, slowly stroking it in and out.
" 'Let's cover her with come,' somebody yelled and a whole group assembled around Joannie and started beating their meat. At the same time, the Negro literally pushed the guy who was in Joannie's ass out of the way. All eyes were on him and his monstrous prick as he got on his knees behind her, spit into his palm and spread the saliva over his prick until it was slippery again. Then he leaned over Joannie's body.
" 'You're gonna like this, baby,' he said, and with those words he slid his big, hoselike cock into her ass-hole. Joannie let out a muffled scream as inch after inch of that black muscle slid inside her defenseless ass. She'd never ever had a cock that big in her cunt, much less in her ass. And it was painful. So goddamned painful that I could hear Joannie cursing and screaming.
" 'I told you to relax,' the Negro said. And those might have been the magic words because Joannie's body slumped and suddenly her screams stopped. I thought she had managed to relax her body enough to take his cock-but she'd found another way to stop the hurt."
Schrenck-Notzing devised the word algolagnia to describe the connection between pain and sexual excitement. The word's derivation is from the Greek algos, meaning pain. A brief understanding of both sadism and masochism is important to realize the motivations of the three Carltons, since by this time, not only was the father an out-and-out sadist (Notice how he admits to reaching orgasm only when he views pain being inflicted, and not when he is involved in coitus. The sight of pain has become his sex act.), but the two young offspring have also assumed the qualities of overt masochists.
In two of his books, The Interpretation of Dreams and Three Contributions to the Theory of Sex, Freud emphatically stated that sexual tendencies, likes and dislikes, do not begin in adulthood. Neither do they form in adolescence. Rather, sex tastes and deviations have their foundation in childhood. For years, this thesis of Freud's was bitterly opposed until child psychiatrists began intensive research and studies into the subject of sex and childhood and gradually confirmed Dr. Freud's original teaching.
Masochism has its roots in childhood, and sadism also has its roots in the very early development of the child. A man does not suddenly begin to have erections when thinking about inflicting pain or receiving pain when he is in middle age. These sexual tendencies lie dormant within the child's subconscious mind until he or she is mature enough to desire sexual relief. Then the aberration rises to the surface.
Dr. Kenneth Walker, who has done wide research in the field of sexual deviation, states the following: "It is in childhood that the foundations of our characters are being laid down and the psychoanalyst has proved to us how lasting are the effects of inexpert handling in the earlier years of our lives."
Once the seeds have been sown, they are inevitably expected to erupt, if not in active form, then in the form of neurosis. This is true because the inner pressures cannot find release. A sexual aberration which is thwarted often leads to suicide.
And lastly, British psychotherapist Dr. Peter Fletcher has the following to add:
Sadism and masochism occur in repressed personalities that have been sexually desensitized. Their desire to suffer pain or to inflict it is purposeful and in a sense logical. Their inhibitions prevent them from responding, as a lowered temperature prevents the skin from responding, to normal sensory stimulations. They therefore do violence or have violence done to them to produce the degree of excitation necessary to overcome their partial anesthesia and being the sexual apparatus into action. Their condition is not unlike that of the normal man or woman shortly after intercourse has terminated in orgasm; they can be aroused again, but not without stimulation of a much more powerful order than was required in the first instance. The analogy is not complete, of course, but it is near enough to enable the reader to imagine how the sadist and masochist probably feel. They are psychologically and to a marked extent physically numb.
Carlton's extreme case of extremely sadistic excitation is mixed, obviously, with hatred of his children. Why did he hate them? It was the purpose of the many interviews with the man to find out. He finally admitted, after months of therapy, that he did, indeed, hate his offspring, but could offer no reason except that he resented what he referred to as their "perfection." By that he meant the two children were attractive, bright and successful, all things he was not. Thus jealousy is also a factor in his actions.
Carlton finally expressed great sorrow at the damage he had done to his children. This concluding segment of his case history details only the physical damage. The psychological damage will probably never be known.
"Joannie had passed out, the fucking little bitch. Just when the action was getting good. But I guess I knew her capacity. She could handle about twelve regular sized cocks in either of her holes, but when a foot-long black prick, about as thick as a horse's, is shoved up her ass, she couldn't take it.
"The freaks on the boat let her alone after she conked out. I guess fucking stiffs wasn't their bag. So they sort of turned their attention, at least some of them, to Jimmy.
"Old Jim had sort of taken to the life. I think he liked hurting people almost as much as I did. Getting hurt he didn't like so much, but on that boat he had to take a lot of abuse. I just stood around watching him taking it, most of the time playing with the hard-on in my pocket.
"He got his ass whipped and fucked a lot of times, and a lot of those women on the boat were anxious to ride on his cock. In fact he had so many who wanted to get fucked-and he got his ass whipped really hard if he didn't cooperate-that finally he was begging people to let his cock alone. I never thought I'd see the day.
"They did leave him alone for one day. Joannie was in the cabin, useless for the rest of the trip.
Her cunt and ass-hole hurt her so bad she could hardly move. But after that day's rest, they dragged poor old Jim out again.
"I won't go into all the details, but there was this one scene that really was the most. I don't know who thought of it, but it was the greatest, the most exciting thing I've ever seen.
"They got Jimmy stripped down and put on top of a big table, right in the middle of the room. Then these two women got him all excited with their mouths. They kept sucking on his prick until it was standing tall and hard as a rock.
"Then came the good bit. While it was still hard, they stuck a candle, just a little one, down the hole in his pecker. When Jimmy saw what they were doing he raised all sorts of hell, so they tied him down.
"You know, that's when it's exciting. When they fight you. I mean, like Joannie had gotten so much to the point of liking the knocks and abuse that she wasn't much fun to watch anymore. But Jimmy knew how to fight. I guess it was because he was scared they were going to ruin his precious cock.
"Anyway, after they got him tied down, they lit the fucking candle. Jimmy was the goddamndest, funniest looking birthday cake I'd ever seen.
"They let that candle burn down almost all the way, until Jimmy was screaming about it burning him. Then they blew it out. But what Jimmy didn't understand was that now the whole end of his cock was sealed up with candle wax. He was closed tighter than a drum.
"And, as soon as they blew the candle out, the women came back and started working on him again-with their mouths and with their hands.
Jimmy's cock was hard in no time at all again. Then suddenly Jimmy realized what they were going to do to him. They were going to make him come, and there wouldn't be any place for his come to exit.
"He struggled and fought against the ropes, trying desperately to get off the table, but those ropes held him tight. Then he calmed down and looked like he was concentrating desperately on not having an orgasm. But with Jimmy that was impossible. He was so conditioned that he had to come when somebody was messing with him, no matter how tired or scared he was.
"He fought it, but no use-his cock started responding to all the attention it was getting. Jimmy kept screaming, 'No. NO!! ' while his cock just kept getting harder and bigger. Of course, with him trying not to, his orgasm took longer, but it was going to happen. You could see on those gals' faces that they were going to work on him until he came if it took all night. And one of them was the woman who had been sucking the colored buck while Jimmy fucked her. She was still mad at Jimmy for not shooting his load up her pussy.
"Eventually, Jimmy felt the come rising in his balls and he was scared shitless-but he came anyway. And I shot off right in my pants. He started screaming, half in pleasure, but then the pain took over as his come tried to escape from his cock. His cock just kept on jerking as that jism tried to get out. But it couldn't. It must really have hurt because Jimmy passed out too. My fucking kids can't take anything.
"As soon as he was out, the women scraped away the candle wax and let the come dribble out. Jimmy's cock was swelling up already. I took him back to the cabin and watched that cock swell up bigger and bigger. I guess there's no reason for me to tell you that he didn't use that cock for about a month after that. Christ, he busted blood vessels and everything. A real wild scene."
Eventually, even Carlton went too far. His exhibitions became even more bizarre, and during one such "show" about a year after the boat episode, when he had both Joan and Jimmy engaged with animals, the place of exhibition was raided.
When it was discovered that the two kids were both under age, Carlton was taken into custody. He was sentenced eventually to life imprisonment. The judge said that since there was no way to find Carlton legally insane, and thereby keep him incarcerated for the remainder of life, he was doing the next best thing. A life imprisonment sentence would eliminate the possibility of a parole for at least twenty years. The judge expressed the opinion that he hoped, after those twenty years, Carlton would no longer be a menace to his children's lives.
CHAPTER FIVE
Judy and Mike: Outlaw Sex
In all the case histories detailed prior to this fifth chapter, there has been ample justification for our so-called "incest laws." These laws, both civil and religious, establish relationships that are illegal by reason of the consanguinity of the persons involved. Their blood relationship, in other words.
In this fifth and concluding case history, however, there is some indication, albeit a sentimental one, that these laws may in some instances cause more damage than they prevent.
Judy and Mike were two extremely attractive people, ages nineteen and twenty respectively, who came to a psychiatrist with an interesting and unusual problem. They were brother and sister and they were in love. In Mike's words:
"From the time I was thirteen, I always loved Judy. I mean, I wanted to be around her, wanted to do things with her. I enjoyed myself most when we were doing things together. This went on for a couple of years. I knew what I was feeling about her was wrong, but I trusted her enough to tell her about the whole thing. I was happy and at the same time sad to hear that she felt the same way about me.
"We decided on our own that we couldn't do anything about it. Brothers and sisters just didn't 'do' things together, except for old time Egyptians, and we just weren't old time Egyptians.
"Our resolve lasted for a couple of years, and then the summer when I was seventeen and Judy was sixteen, the family decided to take a vacation in the mountains. We rented a cabin with one big room and a glassed-in porch. My parents slept in the main room, while Judy and I were given single beds out on the porch.
"Just sleeping that close to Judy and not being able to do anything about it was literally hell. I knew I had a hard-on all night, because I couldn't sleep until morning when I managed to jack myself off and come in my hand. I did that as quietly as I could but I knew Judy heard me.
"One day, just to get away from the house, we decided to take a walk. We headed down this little path that led to a lake and then followed the shore around. It was a hot day so we took a dip.
"The inevitable happened. We were in the water splashing around, having some fun, when my hand brushed Judy's breast. We both stopped and stared at each other. It just had to happen. I led her up to the shore and gently put her on the ground. I lay next to her and we started kissing. That led to even more. I put my hand on her breast and gently felt her body. She was so beautiful. I got my hand under the halter of her bathing suit and caressed each of her breasts, then I leaned down and took her nipples into my mouth. I was so excited I didn't know what I was doing.
"Judy took her hand and ran it down under my bathing suit. She took my cock in her hand and very gently jacked it off. My whole body shuddered. I was ready to shoot already.
"I had to see her naked, if only once in my life, and I thought we were safe way out there in the middle of nowhere. I gently pulled the bottom of her suit and she lifted her hips and let me strip it off her body. Her body was beautiful. I just lay there, staring at her, taking in with my eyes all the things I'd been wanting to see for years. She leaned up and slipped off her halter. She was naked. I could feel my cock jumping around in my suit, so I got up and started to take it off. 'Okay?' I asked Judy. She nodded.
"So there we were, the two of us, both naked and lying right up close to each other. I looked down at her cunt and wanted to be closer. I brought my head down and lay it on her belly, and with my hand I caressed her pussy hairs. They were soft and smelled good. Then, I guess without thinking, I slowly lowered my hand until it was right next to her hole. I put my finger inside and she was soaking wet, as hot as I was. I decided that since I was that far, I might as well make her come, but I'd use only my finger to fuck her. That's what I told myself.
"I moved my finger inside her, feeling her pussy walls give with the entrance. She was so soft and willing. I fucked her with my finger, shoving it in and out, going faster and faster until I had her groaning and arching her back. She pressed her cunt against my hand and asked for more, but the 'more' I gave her wasn't my finger it was my cock. I was so hot by this time, I didn't know what I was doing. All I knew was that I had to get my prick inside her. I had to do it.
"I raised my body and let my full weight come down on her. I could feel my prick struggling to get between her thighs. Then I felt the head of my cock press up against her hole. That made me dizzy with excitement, and I'm not joking. I would have given anything to be inside her cunt; nobody was going to stop me.
"I raised up and she locked her legs around my body. She squeezed harder and harder as my cock slipped, inch by inch, into her pussy. It was like a culmination of a dream. I'd been wanting to do this for years, and now, finally, I was in her.
"I lowered my body on her and pressed, kissing her hard, sticking my tongue into her mouth, caressing her tits. We were both groaning, both so excited by what we were doing that we were out of our minds.
"Slowly, I started to fuck her, still holding on with my arms and my mouth. Out of her pussy I came, then slowly I shoved my rod back in, unable to move any faster because I was so hot and so close to shooting.
"She seemed to understand and seemed to be content with the slow fuck I was giving her. But even that action was too much for me and I felt the come rising in my balls. But I didn't want to come yet; I wanted to fuck her and fuck her, for hours. I pulled my cock out of her and settled my body down on hers. 'Don't move,' I whispered. She understood and laid shock still for a long while, doing nothing but returning the kiss I was giving her.
"And then, slowly, the crisis passed and I felt I could touch or move my cock without coming. I raised my hips and let my cock find her cunt. I slipped it in. Now I was safe. My prick had calmed down. I started moving in and out of her faster. A steady rhythm. In and out. Oh, Christ!
"Then I raised myself so I could see my cock moving in and out of her. It was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. I whispered to her that I wished she could see my cock going into her. She reached over to the little beach bag she'd brought along and got out a small hand mirror. All this while I was still fucking her, not missing a stroke. She angled the mirror so she could see and that turned us both on even more. I found myself moving faster, fucking her more and more. It was glorious.
"This time, when I felt myself getting close again, I leaned down and whispered that I was going to shoot my cream inside her. She began bucking her hips, squeezing with her cunt on my prick, and then let out a low moan that got louder and louder as her whole body shook with an orgasm. That took me over the brink, and I plowed my cock into her until it was shooting a real torrent into her pussy. Spurt after spurt of come I sent up into her beautiful, soft, willing hole.
"Finally I was done, and I just lay there, my cock still hard and still deep in her, kissing her again and again. I know we both could have gone on like that all day, fucking and fucking until we came and then kissing and loving each other until we were ready to fuck again.
"But that's when I heard somebody behind us. A voice said, 'Jesus Christ!' and I felt hands pulling me off Judy's body. It was my father, and he was furious.
"I've been punished in my life, but nothing like I got from my father that afternoon. Right there in front of Judy, he took his belt to my bare backside. He lashed at me again and again. I really thought for a while that he was insane. The pain was terrible and the more I cried and struggled to get away, the harder he brought his belt down on my ass.
"Judy begged him to stop and he turned on her and lashed at her with the belt. It caught her right on the cheek and to this day she still has the mark, a small scar-line that reminds me, every time I see it, of the first time I fucked her.
"Eventually, Dad's anger was over. He just sat down on the ground and sobbed. I guess seeing Judy and me fucking was just too much for him. He didn't know what to do.
"They made me sleep in a sleeping bag outside that night, and for hours after we'd all turned in, I could hear my mom and dad talking. I got the results of their discussion the next morning when Dad told me he was sending me away to school. That very day I was to leave. He'd called relatives in Los Angeles and made arrangements for me to stay with them.
"We drove into town, just dad and myself, and went to the house. I packed up and we headed right for the airport. On the way he wanted my promise that I wouldn't try to see Judy again for a year. A whole year not to see her! He kept at me and kept at me until I made him the promise. He knew I wouldn't break it."
The dismissal of his son was perhaps not the father's first mistake, but it was his worse. The problem of Mike's love for his sister, a love that was returned by Judy, should have been met head on.
Both adolescents should have been put into therapy immediately, and together, with the same doctor, if possible. But the father's only reaction was to separate the two. A forced separation which only enhanced their relationship.
Further statements by Mike will indicate to what degree their relationship was enhanced.
"Along with my promise not to see Judy anymore went the promise that I wouldn't even contact her, either by phone or letter. It was going to be a shitty year, I knew that. But I had made the promise and I intended to keep it and I'm sure Judy felt the same way so I had to make the best of it in California.
"The relatives I was staying with in California were great. They didn't know about the problem, or at least didn't talk about it, and they gave me all the freedom I wanted. As long as I respected them, they returned the favor.
"If you're going to be miserable, California is the best place to be; there's so much going to take your mind off your own misery. For a couple of days I moped around and then I started to smell available pussy. I mean it was all over the place and I had a whole year to investigate. But nobody, I repeat nobody, was going to take Judy's place. I knew that. I might fuck around, but I wouldn't forget her.
. "I got to be a pretty good cocksman, even by California standards. But it really wasn't too great. I mean, I really enjoyed plowing my cock into some nice cherry cunt, or even one that wasn't cherry, but I was always sort of dissatisfied. And I found myself comparing all the broads I'd meet with Judy, and when they didn't come up to her, I'd get mad at them, and take my anger out when I was fucking them. I mean, I did some really rotten things.
"Like this one girl. She restroom'ed a little like Judy and even talked a little like her, but when I got the cunt to bed, all she'd do is giggle. Judy never giggled. I hated this bitch for giggling and spoiling the whole thing. And then after I finished plugging her with prick the first time, she wouldn't leave me alone. She followed me everywhere, in school, out of school. She'd be parked out in front of the house when I left in the morning. I wouldn't give her the time of day for a long while, but even that didn't get her off my back. So I decided to do something desperate.
"My last class was gym. Shitty time for a gym class, because you had to take time to shower before you left. But anyway, that was my problem. I told this girl to meet me at the door to the locker room fifteen minutes after the class was over, so everybody would be out of there. Then I rounded up several guys I knew from the football team, big, empty-headed nuts, but good guys. When they didn't have a football in their hands, or a surfboard under their feet, all they could think of was their next fuck. And I'd decided my little girl friend was going to be that next fuck for all of them.
"As soon as everybody had cleared out of the locker room except for me and the three guys I had hiding behind some lockers, I went to the door and called for the broad. I didn't bother to put any clothes on; I just went to the door bare-assed naked, with my cock hard as a board, and pulled her inside. She was shook for a second or so, but then took right up on the plan.
"I had her on her knees in five seconds, and she was copping my joint for all she was worth. She was a damned good little cock-sucker. And the best part about her sucking instead of fucking was she couldn't giggle-not with a big prick stuck down her throat.
"I banged into her throat for a long while and then shot my cookies off in her mouth. Man, she gobbled that cream like it was soul food. After that, I told her to strip down and get on the table. But she was worried about being caught, too worried about it to take all her clothes off. But she was excited enough about getting my dong up in her box to take her pants off, pull her skirt up and lay on the table.
"She was all in position and primed. I got on the side of the table and pulled her legs up. Her hot cunt was up in the air, just waiting for any old passing cock to throw it to her, not knowing what I was up to until I called my buddies.
"She put up a fuss for a while, but once that first cock was in her, she was all for the idea. One cock after another, and then another round for each guy. That little girl was fucked silly and she loved it. The only trouble was she started to giggle just as soon as that first cock hit her pussy lips. But I put a stop to that easy enough-I got up on the table, kneeling with a leg on each side of her head, and let her suck on my prick all the while those other guys were fucking her cunt.
"I guess it was a rotten thing to do, but she enjoyed it, and she didn't bother me any more. I heard just a few weeks later that she was laying for everybody on the football team, and the baseball team, and the ... shit, she was even after the chess team.
"And then I ran into Marcy. She was a waitress in a restaurant out on the Pacific Coast highway. She was about thirty and dyed blonde, but she knew how to take a cock, and knew what to do with it, better than anybody Pd ever ran into. Granted I wasn't exactly a Don Juan, but I knew my way around.
"I met her at her apartment after spending about five weeks kidding about it. You know, Pd say Pd be over and looking for a little pussy, and then she'd say, 'Come on over anytime,' and I'd say, 'Tonight,'-kidding like that until one day she made a firm offer and I took her up on it.
"Her apartment was up on the hills across the highway from the ocean. Near Malibu. It was a great looking apartment, so I knew she was more than a waitress. You don't pay rent on a pad like that with tips.
"Marcy was the broad's name. And she was really nice. She was so much older than I was that I got nervous, afraid I'd make a mistake. I was so nervous my cock wilted. Son of a bitch, that made me mad. But Marcy knew what to do. She planted her lips around my prick, taking it all in, licking it up and down, tracing the veins with her tongue, dropping my cock and licking away on my balls, taking first one and then the other inside. Well, man, it didn't take long for my prick to get hard again. In fact, it stayed hard all night. She didn't give a guy a rest, wanting to fuck, suck and be sucked all night. I was agreeable.
"That was the first night I ever gave head. She pulled my face down to her pussy, which smelled so damned clean you were willing to stick anything in there, and her cunt just about jumped out and pulled my tongue inside. I bet I spent a half hour just sticking my tongue up into her pussy, rolling it around, tasting her sweet juice that kept rolling out. She came maybe four or five times and she still wanted more.
"But I figured it was about time for my own organ to have a little fun. I lined the two of them up-her pussy and my cock-and introduced 'em real good. My cock slid into her hole like they'd been made for each other. She twisted around and jerked around until I found myself on my back with her sitting across my hips, my joint still stuck up into that gorgeous hole. She had a talented cunt, let me tell you. She pulled on my cock with that pussy of hers like it was made out of two hands, milking the come out.
"I was done with the first shot within minutes, that's how good she was. And I'd always prided myself on taking my time and giving a girl a good, long fuck.
"But we both knew I wasn't through for the night. As soon as I got my rocks off, she pulled off and wanted me to stick my head back in her pussy. But I made her take a shower first and wash all the fucking come out of her hole. I think I hurt her feelings a little, but I sure as hell didn't want to eat my own come out of her.
"After a couple of hours, and after coming three times-twice in her cunt and once in her mouth-this boy was sort of tired. But Marcy was still at it. She decided, in order to get me het up enough for one more fuck, that she'd give me a tongue bath. For the next hour she didn't let up with her tongue. She licked me and lapped me every place on my body-and I mean every place. She even stuck that tongue of hers up my ass-hole. A first for me, and it drove me out of my skull. But she got what she wanted: another fuck. And this one lasted long enough to satisfy anybody. She was really great.
"I slept till noon the next day, with her all wrapped up in my arms, and then she fixed me a tremendous breakfast. I was in seventh heaven. And the best part, there was no comparing her with Judy. She wasn't even close; she was just a good fuck.
"The only trouble was, even though I was anxious for more of her, she didn't go for return bouts. I found out later that she had this old fart paying the bills and she didn't want to get attached enough to some young punk like me to spoil things. She only worked at the restaurant so she'd be able to pick up some young cock every once in a while-on a temporary basis.
"But soon she was out of my system. That's the great thing about California. If one tosses you over, there are a million more just waiting to get fucked. But even with all the action, I didn't forget Judy. She wasn't just a fuck-I loved her, and was counting the days until I'd see her again.
"The year passed pretty quick because I liked most everything about California: the sun, the beach, the mountains, the pussy. But there were also things I didn't like, like the goddamned smog and all the automobiles. Christ, if they could just cut down on all the cars, what a place that would be.
"Anyway, the year passed and my father finally came out to see me. I hadn't seen any members of my immediate family for a whole year, although my mother wrote me just about every week. You see, they did love Judy and me; they just didn't understand. Dad asked me if I was over this thing with Judy. I lied and said I was. He called it an infatuation. Shit, I thought, I wasn't infatuated with Judy. I loved her.
"He agreed that I could come home-if I behaved myself. I promised him I would.
"I can remember that plane trip home like it was yesterday. I was so excited about seeing Judy I almost creamed. I couldn't eat or sleep or anything. All I knew was that I wanted to see her. And I wasn't disappointed. She and Mom were at the airport and she was just as beautiful, just as wonderful as I remembered.
"Our parents allowed us to hug each other when we first met at the airport. But they wouldn't allow anything else. They watched the two of us like cats for the first couple of weeks-so Judy and I played it real cool.
"Judy got me a date with this good-looking girl friend of hers and I acted like I really dug the girl. I went with her all the time, not paying any more attention to Judy than any other guy would to his sister.
"Eventually, we started to double date, which was natural, with Judy and the other girl being close friends. Mom and Dad didn't think anything of it. We'd played it that smart, though we didn't like it. Have you ever been on a double date, driving in the front with one girl and having the girl you really love in the back seat with another guy? It was hell, believe me, and every time that guy tried something, you know, like kissing Judy, I'd want to kill him.
"Both of us knew we couldn't keep up the pretense long, so we figured out a way to get some time to ourselves. Alone. Judy told Mom and Dad that she was going on a retreat from her high school. All girls. Dad called the school and sure enough they were having a conference and Judy was signed up. They gave their okay. That same weekend, I asked them if I could go into New York City. They had some special-priced tickets for Broadway shows at school, and I told them I wanted to take advantage of them.
"They hesitated along time and then gave their permission. Judy and I had been behaving ourselves so well that they weren't too suspicious.
"I got all the money I could beg, borrow or steal together and headed for New York. The bus seemed to take forever. There I rented a room in a cheap hotel-cheap for New York City, but it seemed like an arm and a leg to me-and sat back and waited for Judy.
"She didn't get in until seven o'clock and by that time I was about ready to climb the walls. But then, finally, she walked in. We were nervous in front of each other for a while, but then we got down to cases. We both agreed that we still loved each other. Now we had to figure out a way to do something about it.
"But first I took her to bed. Man, I don't want to describe what we did, because I don't want to cheapen Judy. I just know that when my cock settled into her pussy, it was the most wonderful, beautiful thing I've ever felt in my life. And I think she felt the same. I know she did.
"We stayed in that hotel room for two days and two nights, just drinking in each other, getting reacquainted, you might say. We explored every inch of each other's bodies, and I taught her a few of the tricks I'd learned in Los Angeles. She was a fast learner.
"We had only one scare. A house detective knocked on the door on Saturday afternoon, but luckily we were both dressed and eating some hamburgers I'd gone out for. You should have seen the look on his face when we proved to him that we were brother and sister. He apologized all over the place and sort of bowed out. At least we had one advantage in our being related: nobody was going to throw us out of a hotel or motel for fucking under-age."
Sex had been the youngsters' problem up to the time they met in New York City. Like all young people of their age, they had strong sexual drives. And being in constant proximity without being able to fulfill those drives led to much frustration. However, their trip to New York was able to relieve, at least for a time, much of that frustration. Now they were able to make plans, and being level-headed youngsters, they did the best they could under the circumstances.
They agreed they would behave in the patterns that they had established. They would give their parents no cause for alarm. Then, the following June, after Mike had graduated from high school, they would leave their parents' home and travel to Los Angeles. They would live as husband and wife there; they would lose themselves in the city.
There were two problems in carrying out their plans: first, no one is really able to "Lose" himself in a big city. Not in the United States. With the sophisticated methods our governments have of tracking fugitives, Mike and Judy were eventually bound to be traced. The second problem was their parents. Both Judy and Mike figured that once they left their parents' house, they would be on their own. They thought that their parents loved them enough to leave them alone, having found out that their efforts to separate their two children had failed.
That was not the case. Judy and Mike's parents continued for years to search for their children. And they were eventually located, almost two years after they left home, still living in Los Angeles, still living as husband and wife, and still happy.
This is a strange case. Under the circumstance, you would think that either Judy or Mike, or both of them, would be unbalanced and/or neurotic. Neither was the case. Both were mentally and physically healthy. They were well-adjusted and completely free from neuroses of any kind.
They were brought back by force to the parents' house and taken to a psychiatrist in an effort to have them both committed to an institution. However, the parents could find no reputable physician who would recommend the commitment.
That is where the situation remains. Since both Judy and Mike are under-age, they are forced to remain in their parents' home. When they reach twenty-one, they say, they will move out and resume their life together.
Their parents say if they do as they plan, they will be prosecuted for incest. Which makes this perhaps the saddest case history of all, because given understanding and compassion, these two could have lived very happily together and society wouldn't have suffered in the least because of it.
CONCLUSION
These case histories are detailed in this volume in an effort to bring more knowledge of the occurrence of incest to the attention of the general public. For it is only with knowledge and understanding that the problem can be faced.
You should have noticed one thing immediately about the case histories. The misery which invariably resulted. Tom, in case history one, is an inmate of a hospital for the criminally insane for the rest of his life. His mother's sexual deviations brought him there. He murdered her; he must be kept from society. It is said that the only truly happy people in the world are imbeciles. Tom was not, and is not now, an imbecile. He must live with what he has done.
There is a chance for Laura, in case history two.
A slight chance. Can she ever redeem herself from the only life she's ever known? Or will she have to return to having her body used by anyone who can afford a few dollars? If she does reform, she'll probably always have the desire to return to her former life. If she doesn't reform, there is no hope for her. Either way, she has little to look forward to except more misery.
Toni, in case history number three, is totally insane, a condition helped but not totally caused by her seductive father. She may lead the life of the happily unaware. We can only hope so.
In case four, Joan and Jimmy have disappeared from official records. But from what we've read of them, can we ever expect them to lead a normal, happy life?
And finally, Judy and Mike. Their life for the last few years has been a hell. One they made for themselves, granted, but must they be condemned for life?
What we have tried to indicate here is a larger view. By presenting five case histories we want the public to be aware of thousands of life cases, or even millions, which cause misery, humiliation and unhappiness for those involved. Can we any longer sit back and refuse to discuss incest openly? Can we any longer be a part of a society which ignores the problem? The author thinks not.
APPENDIX
Where To Go For Help
Mental health facilities vary from community to community. There are child guidance centers, mental health clinics, and family service agencies. Information about needed services (child guidance, family counseling or adult treatment) can be obtained from local and state mental health associations, state departments of health and the local councils of social agencies.
Information about the location and qualifications of agencies can also be obtained by writing to:
The National Association of Mental Health
10 Columbus Circle
New York, New York 10019
The Family Service Association of America
44 East 23rd Street
New York, New York 10010
Psychologists, psychiatrists, and psychiatric social workers function as a team in mental health agencies. The psychologist is a scientist with intensive training in understanding personality disorders. His specialties are psychotherapy, diagnostic testing, and research. Some qualified psychologists do not have a doctorate but an M.A. A number of them are very competent "old timers" who started practice long before the doctorate became an essential requirement.
The psychiatrist is a physician (M.D.) with special training in diagnosis and treatment of mental disorders. In a clinic, his specialties are psychotherapy, diagnosis, and prescription of drugs. The psychiatric social worker has had his basic training in field work. His specialties are psychotherapy, initial interviewing (intake) and preparation of case histories.
The psychologist, psychiatrist and social worker have one function in common: psychotherapy. In addition, each has a function not shared by the others. The psychologist administers tests, the psychiatrist prescribes drugs, and the social worker prepares case histories.
BIBLIOGRAPHY
Balint, Michael. Problems of Human Pleasure and Behavior. New York: Liveright, 1957.
Ellis, Havelock. Studies in the Psychology of Sex. New York: Random House, 1936.
Freud, S. The Basic Writings of Sigmund Freud. New York: Modern Library, 1938.
Krafft-Ebing, R. von. Psychopathia Sexualis. Brooklyn, N. Y.: Physicians & Surgeons Book Co., 1922.
