Title: Identity Crisis Author: Cait N. Series: DS9 Pairing: B/m Rating: PG Parts: 1/1 Archive: DoS Feedback: caitn@mindspring.com Website: /~CaitN/ Disclaimer: TPTB wouldn't know a successful pairing if it bit them in the ass. Unfortunately Paramount owns the characters; I just take 'em out for a spin every once in a while. Summary: My answer to Lucy's Challenge: Write a story in which at least one Cardassian wears makeup. Also, you must use the words 'Nymph', 'Announce', 'Gallantry' and 'Idol'. The sentences - 'Of course you look fabulous, well, if compared to a Ferengi that got dressed in the dark at least…' and 'Look, I am glad you want to be civilized and talk, but I should warn you that in view of recent events I have the urge to strangle you, okay?'. = = = = = = = "Identity Crisis" Copyright April 2002 by Cait N. "This is the stupidest thing I've ever done. I don't know how you talked me into it." To say that Julian Bashir was less than pleased was the understatement of the year. "Hold still," Jadzia admonished. "Do you want me to have to start all over?" "Oh heaven forbid!" Julian tapped his foot with impatience. "I don't see how you women can stand this. Do you do this *every* day?" "Pretty much." She stepped back and put the makeup brush down. "There, all done, I think." She reached for the brush again. "Oh no," Julian said backing up and beating a hasty retreat to his bedroom. "You've done as much to my face as you're going to do." Jadzia sighed. "It's really not that bad, Julian. I bet you'll have fun if you just relax." "Dressing in drag and double dating with you just so you can go out with Captain Boday again is not my idea of fun," he hollered back at her. "I told you already, I tried to find someone else." She smoothed her dress over her hips and then went down the list again. "Kira absolutely positively refused; she can't get over the transparent skull business. Keiko is on Bajor helping to organize a horticulture symposium, Leeta has to work, and Jabara has a date already." "And you couldn't think of anyone else," he said sarcastically. "It's just for one night, probably two hours at the most," she cajoled. "Captain Boday has this real important business associate and he wanted to have him to dinner to show his appreciation. It's Boday's only night on the station and he doesn't want his associate to feel slighted." She added the finishing touch. "I don't have anyone else to turn to, Julian. I need you." She could hear his sigh all the way from the other room. She knew she had him hooked. "Can't we just eat aboard his ship, or in your quarters?" His words were interrupted by the sound of groaning and pulling. "Do you need any help?" "No, you've helped enough tonight," he answered. "I don't see why we have to go to Quark's," he returned to the previous topic. "It was my idea," Jadzia informed him. "I thought that a more intimate setting would be awkward. We can find a quiet, dark table in Quark's and no one will pay you any attention, I promise." "This is bound to backfire, somehow, some way," Julian muttered as he stepped out of the bedroom. He'd allowed Jadzia to apply some makeup and to style his hair. He'd taken some hair follicle growth injections earlier in the day and his hair now hung in silky waves just past his ears. Jadzia had bought a long-sleeved pantsuit from Garak's shop in the guise that it was for a friend, which really wasn't a lie. It was Antarian wool, a deep aqua color that accentuated his eyes and made his limbs look long and elegant. They'd gotten past the lack of breasts by stuffing one of Jadzia's bras. It was better than her original idea that he take gland injections. "Julian, I'm at a loss for words." "I look okay then?" "Of course, you look fabulous -- well, if compared to a Ferengi that got dressed in the dark at least." "That's it," he turned around to stomp off to the bedroom, but Jadzia grabbed his arm. "I was just kidding, just kidding," she hastened to reassure him. "Combined with your dark hair and the makeup I put on you, that aqua color makes you look like an exotic sea nymph." She smiled at his questioning look. "Honest." He smiled though it didn't quite reach his eyes. "Let's get this over with." ~~*~~ A group of people stood outside Quark's; the crafty Ferengi must have had something special going on. Julian couldn't see Captain Boday in the crowd, but Jadzia, with the added height her heels gave her, quickly spotted him. "Boday," she said, weaving her way through the crowd, hand firmly clasping Julian's arm and dragging him behind her. "I'd like to you meet my friend, Jule." "Jewel, it's a pleasure to meet you. You're just as lovely as Jadzia said you were." The freighter captain bowed low over Julian's hand and kissed his wrist. Julian was surprised at the other man's gallantry. From what others had said, he'd expected Boday to be just as coarse and unmannered as a Klingon. "Nicetomeetyoutoo," he mumbled. "Let me introduce my business associate." Boday turned to search through the crowd. "Ah," he exclaimed, spotting his quarry. "Our dates have arrived." Everything happened as if in slow motion - at least that's how it appeared to Julian. A Cardassian turned and smiled at them, the smile slowly turning to confusion and then surprise. "Julian?" "Garak?" "Julian!" Recognition had definitely set in. "Garak?" Jadzia parroted. "Jadzia." "Julian? I thought her name was Jewel." "It's short for Julian," Jadzia hastened to explain. Julian was still staring in horror at Garak. "This is your business associate?" he said in a higher voice than he'd intended. He cleared his throat. "Yes," Boday answered, "I bring shipments of material and notions to Mr. Garak on a fairly regular basis." "I think we should go in to find a table now," Jadzia offered, hooking her arm through Julian's and forging a way through the crowd. "Julian, I had no idea, honest," she whispered into the doctor's ear. "I can come up with a horrible headache, or maybe if you suddenly got stomach cramps and had to go to the infirmary. But I don't think it has to be a complete disaster. Garak is kind of nice, I'm sure, and I don't think he'll like stand up and announce to the whole room -" "Look, I am glad you want to be civilized and talk, but I should warn you that in view of recent events, I have the urge to strangle you, okay." At the miserable look on Jadzia's face, Julian sighed. "I'm sorry, I'm still in a bit of shock at finding out that Garak is my 'date' for the evening." "I'll make this up to you, I promise." Julian nodded dejectedly. They reached the inside of Quark's and waited for the men to join them. Boday pointed to a table in the far corner where three Klingons were standing up and settling their tab with a waiter. "That's perfect," Jadzia answered for the others. It was dark and semi-secluded and hopefully being in the shadows would help Julian relax. They got seated at the table and the waiter took their orders. It was a new guy; some temporary help that Quark had recently hired. Julian was glad that it wasn't someone he knew. The sooner this "date" was over and done with the better. Garak, seated opposite Julian, leaned forward to say in a quiet voice, "My dear doctor, I had no idea that you were, how do they say it, a cross-dresser." "I'm not," Julian spat at him. "You're not what?" Boday said. Evidently Julian hadn't kept his voice low enough. "Not very hungry," Garak answered. "I think we'll just have the brandied mussels and two ginger mochas." Julian was about to protest at Garak ordering for him, but decided that arguing would only make Boday curious. He sat, his arms crossed in front of him and glared alternately at Jadzia and Garak. To his consternation, the former ignored him while the latter couldn't seem to take his eyes off him. Julian leaned forward and asked in a low voice, "What? Is my lipstick smeared? My mascara clumpy? What? Why are you staring at me?" Garak gave one of those half-smiles that never failed to make Julian jumpy inside. "Because I always knew that you were attractive, I just never thought you could take my breath away." Julian sat back in his seat, floored. He had no idea what to say to that. Thankfully, Boday spoke up then and he was given a brief reprieve. "So, Jewel, has Jadzia shown you the Moseian idol I brought her?" "Um, no she must have forgotten." Julian wondered at Garak's slight chuckle but kept his eyes politely on Boday. "It's a statue of Icasa, the Moseian god of Promiscuity. The male has four tentacles in place of genitalia, one for each of their four senses -" "They don't have any sense of smell," Garak added. "None at all," Boday agreed, "so the four tentacles have these hollow tubules and little suction attachments on the end, so that during sex, the other male -" "The other male?" It was Julian's turn to interrupt. "Oh, yes, Moseians always have same-sex mates. Mating between members of the opposite sex is considered deviate." "Oh." "It's quite fascinating," Garak said with a knowing look at Julian. "Why I've heard that when a Moseian male is extremely aroused, his tentacles can swell to three times their normal size." "Three times." "Yes, and then the partner's tentacles slip inside and -" "Here's your order," the waiter said holding a large tray of food and drinks. Julian didn't know whether to jump up and hug the waiter or kick him in the ass. The Moseian mating story had left him with a painful hard on, and the pants that he was wearing left him with very little room for "adjusting" things. He realized when he saw the large plate of steaming mussels that he was hungrier than he'd thought. Digging into his food with gusto, he reined in his raging hormones. Dinner passed in relative harmony. Boday was charming, Jadzia was attentive and Garak was. . . Garak was flirtatious. And if Julian was honest with himself, he was starting to enjoy. By the end of the evening, he was flirting back, his hand lingering on Garak's, his eyes dancing with desire and delight. It was almost as if along with the new persona came new freedoms previously undreamt of. "Another round of drinks?" Boday questioned after their plates had been cleared. Julian shook his head. "Not for me, thank you. I'm afraid I'm tired." Boday stood up and pulled Julian's chair out for him. "It was a pleasure to meet you, Jewel." "Likewise," Julian answered honestly. He could see why Jadzia had wanted to spend the evening with the charming Gallamite. "I'll walk you to your quarters," Garak offered, standing up and bidding Jadzia and Boday farewell. Jadzia's look was sly and smug, but Julian just ignored her. He took Garak's arm and mumbled a polite goodnight. "Let me guess," Garak said as they strolled down the promenade toward the living quarters, "Jadzia couldn't get anyone else to be my date?" "Pretty much; I was her last hope." Now that he was up and walking around, Julian didn't feel tired at all. "I had no idea you were going to be my date." Garak chuckled. "Had you known would you have backed out?" Julian thought about his answer. "I honestly don't know. Would you have still shown up if you knew that I was going to be your date?" "No." Garak's answer was quick and decisive. "I wouldn't have stood you up." Julian felt something inside him melt, but he still had one more important question. "Okay, but would you still feel the same if I wasn't wearing feminine clothing and made up to look like a woman?" Garak stopped and cupped Julian's chin with his hand. "I find you very attractive, Julian. You, not what you look like, but who you are inside." The sincerity in the Cardassian's eyes made Julian want to cry with joy and relief. "Your quarters or mine?" he asked in a voice husky with pent up desire. "Does it matter?" "Not in the least." = = = = = = = = = Two weeks later = = = = = = = = = "Hold still." "How much more are you planning to put on me?" "Just a little bit more. If you'd hold still this would go a lot faster." "I still don't see why this is necessary." "I had to go through with it, so you have to, too. At least once." "I have no idea how you convinced me to go through with this." "You agreed though, and you can't back out now." "You asked me to do it in the afterglow of the most intense orgasm I'd ever had. You knew I wouldn't be able to think straight at a time like that." "All's fair in love and. . . love," Julian countered. Garak shifted position and Julian sighed. "Be still." Garak was proving to be most impatient. Julian applied the last of the lipstick and stood back to admire his handiwork. "Just a little bit more," he said, moving forward again. "Julian," Garak said stopping Julian's hand, "I seriously doubt I need anymore of that holodeck ho' red." Julian choked. "Holodeck ho'? Where did you hear that expression?" Garak smiled. "My dear doctor, you'd be amazed at what I hear in the course of a single workday." He turned away and grabbed the shawl that matched his outfit. "Are we ready now?" "I guess so." Julian, resplendent in a charcoal gray tuxedo held out his arm to Garak. He ogled Garak's crotch and licked his lips. "You look ravishing, Emily." Garak winked. "As do you, Jewel." THE END