Title: Ex-Q's Me
Author: Cait N.
Series: VOY
Codes: Q, Q, J/C
Rating: PG
Feedback: caitn @ mindspring.com
Thanks to Jinny for her quick beta! 

Disclaimer: Paramount owns the characters; I just borrow them
on occasion.

Summary: Set shortly after the 7th season episode Q2. Q tells
"Kathy" that the female Q left him. The female Q tells "Tattoo
Boy" that Q left her. Just what are the two Q up to now?

Author's Note: Written for the "Fancy Meeting Q Here" contest
over on Voyager Talent Night.
<http://voyagertalent.netfirms.com/fancyq.htm>

- - - - - - - - -
 

Sometimes sleep crept upon silent cat feet, stealing over you
like gossamer threads. Sometimes it refused to take no for an
answer, and pulled you under, kicking and screaming. And
sometimes it came as easily as breathing, yet with a darkness
lurking, waiting to pounce on you as soon as you succumbed. 

Janeway tossed and turned, tangled up in the sheets. The dream
was vague, insubstantial, fraught with images of battle, death
and destruction. Somehow she knew she was the cause of it. 

She awoke with a start, and registered two things; one, her
gown had ridden up around her hips, and two, she wasn't alone.
Turning her head she stared into deep brown eyes. Soulful eyes. 

"Hold me, Kathy." 

Janeway pushed at Q's chest and sent him rolling backward off
the bed. Before he could hit with a satisfying thud, he blinked
out and reappeared on her opposite side, kneeling by the bed. 

"Kathy, I'm in pain." He put his head in his hands. The red of
his pajamas reminded her of the red alert lighting. 

"You'll be in even more pain if you don't leave. Now!" She
scooted off the other side of the bed and hastily pulled her
robe on. Pushing sleep-tousled hair out of her eyes, she turned
and confronted her unwanted visitor. "You're still here?" 

"She left me, Kathy. Left *me*. Can you believe it?" 

"If you're talking about the female Q, then yes, I can." 

"How can you be so heartless? My heart is breaking!" 

"I didn't think Q's had a heart." 

"They don't, but you're missing the point." He stood up spread
his hands imploringly. "I need consolation. I need compassion. I
need sympathy." 

"You need to leave." 

"I need another woman." 

Hands on her hips Janeway ordered, "You have five seconds to
get out of here or I call security." 

"Don't bother Pointy Ears. I'll go." He sighed as if the weight
of the world were on his shoulders. "But I've decided you're the
woman for me, Kathy, and a Q doesn't take defeat easily." 

A flash and he was gone. Janeway sat down on the bed and fell
backwards, arms outstretched. She looked up at the ceiling and
wondered, 'Why me?' 


- - - - - ^^^ - - - - -


In another cabin, not so far away, Chakotay was having troubles
of his own. He came out of the vision quest slowly, not wanting
to leave the peace he found within. A noise caught his attention
and he opened his eyes, head turning to find the source. 

"Finally! I was about to kick you to see if you were still
alive." The female Q sat in a chair near him, legs tossed over
the side, bored look on her face. The Starfleet uniform she
wore, complete with admiral markings, looked as out of place as
she did. 

"What are you doing here?" He hit his combadge. "Chakotay to
security." 

"Don't bother, they can't hear you." She unfolded herself from
the chair with a svelte grace that was at odds with everything
he knew about her. "I wanted it to just be you and me for a
while." 

"Why?" Chakotay started to gather up items and place them back
in his medicine bundle. 

She'd walked up behind him, and must have leaned over because
her breath tickled his ear. "Because I need a big, strong man.
Someone just like you." 

He stood up, moving to put his medicine bundle back in its
place. "If I'm not mistaken, you already have a man." 

"Not anymore." She put her hands on her hips, and sniffed. "He
dumped me. Can you imagine that? I give him the best millennia
of my life, and he tosses me aside like a dying star." 

Chakotay sighed inwardly. Just his luck to be on the receiving
end of a Q on a relationship rebound. "Why don't you talk to the
Captain? Girl talk, sympathy, all that stuff." 

She strode forward, purposeful, determination in her eyes.
"Talk isn't exactly what I had in mind," she purred. 

Any other male aboard Voyager might find her tall, dark looks
attractive. But as she stalked (there wasn't any other word for
it) closer he couldn't help compare her to Kathryn. She didn't
have his captain's rounded hips, her mercurial blue eyes, the
subtle sensuality that bubbled below the surface of a carefully
controlled exterior. And she certainly didn't have Kathryn's
room-brightening smile. Q's smile was more calculated, and . . .
rusty. Like she'd practiced it for years, then forgot to use it.
No, no comparison at all. 

Once she was standing almost toe-to-toe with him, tall enough
to look him in the eyes, she ran a hand lazily down his chest.
He stood there, not moving, not saying anything. "Don't you like
what you see? Or would you rather I changed into something more
appealing?" She snapped her fingers and gone was the Starfleet
uniform. She stood there naked, never taking her eyes off his.
"Is this more to your liking?" 

"What I would like," he finally said, "is for you to leave me
alone. I'm tired." He walked into the bedroom. 

He cringed at her yell of frustration. "What's your problem?
What do you want!" 

"Red hair on top of a head that tucks nicely under my chin," he
muttered under his breath. He started to strip off his uniform,
hoping for at least a few hours of sleep before his shift
started. 

"We're not done, Tattoo Boy!" 

"Lucky me." He stuck his head out to see if she'd left. She
had, but he had a feeling she'd meant her parting shot. He
wondered if he should contact the captain right now and warn
her. He hated to wake her up, though, and he didn't think the
amorous advances of the female Q qualified as an emergency. He
slid between his sheets, half asleep already, visions of a
firebrand in command red dancing in his head. 


- - - - - ^^^ - - - - -


"We've got to talk," they said in unison. 

Janeway laughed and Chakotay smiled widely, dimples in full
force. "You first," he said. 

"I had a visitor last night. Our friendly neighborhood Q." 

"Interesting. I had a visitor, too. Our friendly neighborhood
female Q." 

"Coincidence?" 

"Not where the Q is concerned. So what did he want," Chakotay
asked, setting aside the PADD he'd been reading. 

"Nothing. Just wanted to be a pest. And the female Q." Janeway
tried not to let the image of Chakotay alone in his quarters at
night with the beautiful Q bother her. 

"Same as the other, to be a pest." 

Was it her imagination or was his cheeks a little pink? 

"I'm pretty sure we've seen the last of them," he said. 

"Nevertheless, I'll tell the crew to be alert to anything out
of the ordinary." 

"We're in the Delta Quadrant -- almost everything is out of the
ordinary." 

Janeway smiled. "Good point." 


- - - - - ^^^ - - - - -


They had two blissful days Q-free. Janeway was just beginning
to wonder if it had all been some sort of weird shared dream.
She was in the turbolift, on her way to relax after a long and
boring shift, when the lift ground to a halt. She put a hand out
to brace herself. "Computer, resume lift." 

"I thought we could use the alone time." Q smiled at her from
across the lift. 

"I should have known it was too good to be true." 

"Now, Kathy, don't be mad or upset that I've been away. I just
wanted to give you time to get used to the idea of us." 

"There is no 'us' and there never will be, Q." She stood up as
tall as she could and used her best command voice, "You've worn
out your welcome. Leave." 

"Kathy, Kathy, don't be so cruel!" Q assumed an appropriately
pitiful expression. 

It's not just me who's suffering. All Junior does is cry all
day long for his mother." 

"Junior is a teenager," Janeway didn't hesitate to point out. 

"I know, pathetic isn't it? That's why he needs a *stable*
mother figure in his life." 

"He needs his *real* mother." 

"That cold, heartless bi--" 

"Why don't you two see a Q counselor or something? Try to work
things out. You know, for Junior's sake." Reasoning with a Q was
like trying to bargain with a Ferengi, but Janeway thought it
was worth a try. She had the start of a major headache and
wanted the solace of her quarters, the sooner the better. 

"It's much too late for that." He shook his head in dismissal. 

"Look, think of all the reasons you two got together in the
first place. Rekindle the romance." 

"We got back together because you wouldn't give me a son." 

"Don't put the blame for your marital troubles on me!" 

"She's my ex-Q, and there's no hope for reconciliation, not at
all," he stated. 

"Well that's not my problem!" Janeway said defiantly. 

"Maybe if I had a role model," he hinted. "If someone I admired
had a healthy love life, and committed relationship, it might
show me the error of my ways." 

"What are you getting at, Q?" She wasn't sure she liked what he
was hinting at. 

"Your crew might like that kind of role model, too." 

"Q." Her voice was threatening now. He'd stepped over the line
one too many times. 

"Think about it, Kathy." 

He blew her a kiss and then she was alone again in the lift. It
resumed on its own, and she leaned against the wall. Massaging
her temples, she wondered if every starship captain's life was
as complicated and confusing as hers. 


- - - - - ^^^ - - - - -


"I need a neck massage." 

"I need you to go away and leave me alone." Chakotay was trying
to be patient, he really was. 

"You give your captain one sometimes. Why not me?" 

"Because you're not her!" he said without thinking. He let his
breath out with an audible wooosh and rubbed the back of his
neck. Now he was the one who needed a massage. 

"Ah, I see," she smiled. "She doesn't deserve you, though." 

"Why do you say that?" He'd probably regret asking the question. 

"Because she doesn't appreciate you." 

"Yes she does. She might not come right out and say it, but
it's in the little things. The way she lays her hand on my arm
sometimes, or the way she smiles at me, or the way she cooks
dinner for us once a week." She didn't so much as cook the meal
as burn it, but he still appreciated her effort. 

"You love her." The female Q tilted her head to one side as if
trying to read his mind. "Why don't you just tell her?" 

"I tried, on New Earth. She didn't want to hear it." He sat
down in his chair. Slumped down was more like it. Just thinking
about how he had to sit beside her every day, smiling and
carrying on as if he wasn't dying a little more inside every
second. 

"Maybe it wasn't the right time, maybe she wasn't ready." She
walked over and gently touched the tattoo on his face. He didn't
try to stop her. "Maybe you should try again." 

"Yes, well, maybe you should take your own advice and tell your
Q how you really feel about him." 

She quickly withdrew her hand. "I did. That's why he's my ex-Q." 

She disappeared and Chakotay was left alone in his quiet, cold
quarters. 


- - - - - ^^^ - - - - -


"She's tougher than I thought." Q was perched on the upper deck
in Engineering, as oblivious to the activity around him as they
were to him. One of the many perks of being a Q was that people
only saw him when he wanted them to. 

"He's so in love with her it makes me sick." 

"We were in love once," he remarked. "I think it was back
during the height of the Tkon Empire. Or maybe the Ming
Dynasty." 

"This was your idea," she interrupted, "and it's not working,
not quick enough. So what do we do now?" 

If Janeway had seen his grin she would have run for cover. "I
think it's time for plan B." 


- - - - - ^^^ - - - - -


The peal of the door chime woke her up. 'Who could it be at
this hour?' she wondered, stumbling to the door. It slid back to
reveal her second officer. "Chakotay?" 

He leaned forward, grasped her by the arms and placed his lips
on hers for a searing kiss. 

Kathryn felt her knees buckling. Never, in her wildest dreams
(and she'd had some pretty wild ones) had it *ever* felt like
that. 

When he tore his lips from hers, they were both breathing hard.
"I love you Kathryn Janeway. Tomorrow morning you might be able
to pretend I never said those words, but that won't change the
truth. Hide from it if you want, behind your protocol wall, but
that won't make it any less real." 

He let her go, turned and strode down the corridor. 

The door slid shut and Janeway leaned against it, sliding down
until she was sitting on the deck. She could still feel his lips
on hers, the sensation of his hands wrapped around her arms.
Those long fingers digging into her skin. She imagined them
elsewhere, the lightly calloused tips, like the flutters of
dragonfly wings against her skin. A tear slid unheeded down her
cheek. 


- - - - - ^^^ - - - - -


The peal of the door chime woke him up. 'Who could it be at
this hour?' he wondered, stumbling to the door. It slid back to
reveal the slight form of his commanding officer. "Kathryn?" 

She reached forward and grabbed him by the front of his
pajamas, fisting the material and drawing him close and looking
up, eyes flashing fire. "I've waited more years than I care to
count, waited for you to tell me you loved me, to tell me
protocol didn't mean as much as us being together. I've needed
you to tell me it's okay to be more than just a captain, that
it's okay to just *be* sometimes. Most of all I needed you to
tell me that just because we might be stuck on Voyager for the
next twenty or so years, doesn't mean Starfleet doesn't have to
rule every single second of our lives." 

She leaned up on her tiptoes and placed a slow, soft kiss
against his lips. "I've needed *that*." Her breath mingled with
his as she whispered the words. 

She let go of his top, smoothed out the wrinkles with her
hands, and turned and walked away. 

Chakotay stood there, too stunned to move as the door slid
silently shut. 


- - - - - ^^^ - - - - -


"Think it worked?" Q looked at Janeway as she came walking
around the corner. 

"If it didn't, I give up." The captain snapped her fingers and
where she'd once stood, now stood the female Q. She gave her
mate an appraising look. "How did she kiss?" 

"Not nearly as well as you do, my sweet." He smiled at her. "Do
I have anything to be jealous of?" 

"It wasn't as bad as I'd thought it would be." At the look of
jealousy in his eyes, she added, "Tattoo Boy's okay, but not
nearly as good as you." She linked her arm with his. "Want to
stay around and see if it works?" 

"It will work; my plans always do." 


- - - - - ^^^ - - - - -


It was a very strained atmosphere on the bridge the next day.
The crew noticed it, but had no idea what caused it. Several
times Tom wanted to say something, but he knew he'd be out of
place. Whatever it was he hoped they resolved it quickly. A
bickering command team made for an edgy crew. 

Janeway tried not to look at Chakotay as much as possible.
Every time she did her eyes went straight to his lips. She
couldn't get the feel of them out of her head. And his words.
She wanted so much to ask him if he meant them. Their
relationship had waned in the past year and she wasn't sure
anymore how he really felt about her, even after his declaration
of love the previous night. 'Maybe last night had all been an
alcohol-induced fluke,' she thought. 'What if he regrets what he
said?' Better to just pretend it never happened. 

Chakotay, for his part, tried not to touch her. He knew if he
touched her, he wouldn't stop until she was in his arms. Even
after her speech outside his door last night, he wasn't sure
what he should do. Just ignore the whole thing, pretend like
Kathryn was just like any other officer he'd served with. No!
That was what he'd been doing all along. If she was waiting for
him to make the first move, then maybe that's what he ought to
do. 

Janeway was secretly relieved when Chakotay announced he wasn't
feeling well and wanted to retire to his quarters two hours
before the end of his shift. She dismissed him with a nod of her
head, wanting nothing more than to lay her head on his shoulder
and ask him if he did indeed love her. Instead, she stared at
the viewscreen as the turbolift doors slid shut behind him. 


- - - - - ^^^ - - - - -


Her quarters were dark, except for the light of a dozen
candles. She stepped in, wary of more Q tricks. Her furniture
had been moved to the sides of the room, and pillows of all
shapes and sizes littered the floor. She took a few steps inside
and looked around, waiting for Q to pop out at her. 

"You look breathtaking in candlelight." 

She whirled at the sound of the voice. Chakotay was silhouetted
in the door to her bedroom, a lazy smile on his face. He was
wearing black silk trousers, and a matching shirt, unbuttoned
halfway down his chest. He must have used her shower because his
hair was still damp and mussed up. His feet were bare, and made
no sound on the deck as he made his way through the pillows to
stand in front of her. 

"You did all this?" She was still trying to take it all in. And
having the man she'd spent all night thinking about close enough
to smell the earthy scent of the soap he'd used, in *her* shower
no less, was wreaking havoc on her ability to form a coherent
thought. 

Chakotay nodded. "I've been thinking a lot about you, about us,
and especially about last night." 

Janeway gulped. 

"I love you, Kathryn Janeway. I want to tell you that every day
as I wake up beside you, and every night as you fall asleep with
your head on my chest. I want to remind you that it's okay to
leave Starfleet at the door, and just be plain old Kathryn, *my*
Kathryn." He reached out and tucked a stray piece of hair behind
her ear. 

"This won't be easy." Part of her, the part that belonged to
Starfleet, refused to give in. 

"Easy is overrated." 

"It will interfere with our jobs." 

"Only if we let it." 

"We'll face censure from Starfleet." 

"We'll face it together." 

"I hog the covers." 

"I hog the bed." 

She finally smiled. "I love you, too." 

"I know," Chakotay answered, wrapping his arms around and
drawing her close. He held her like that for a moment, reveling
in the feel of her body pressed against his. He pictured her
face when she saw the black satin sheets he'd replicated and put
on her bed. Images of her naked, lying against them had
tormented him for the past hour. He'd finally had to take a cold
shower. 

"I thought at first this was all Q's doing," she said, leaning
back in his arms. 

"He's not creative enough." 

"What if he comes back?" she asked, taking her arms from around
his waist and wrapping them around his neck. 

"Too bad. You're mine." Chakotay lowered his head, slowly,
drawing out the anticipation. 

"Mmmmm. I like the sound of that." She looked up at him, barely
contained passion shining in her eyes. 

"I do, too," he agreed as his lips finally met hers. 


- - - - - ^^^ - - - - -


Elsewhere in the universe, two Q's were sitting on an asteroid,
toasting a job well done. 


THE END