VACATION PHOTO by Joe Whatever The 31-year-old woman fidgeted nervously on the hard bench outside the principal's office. Perhaps it was the juvenile uniform, or the fact that she was in foreign country, but Lisa was growing increasingly agitated. Where was Maria? Lisa had thought it was hysterical when her friend Maria suggested that she change into a school uniform for her picture with the principal. Lisa was a high school principal herself, and she knew the gag photo would make a wonderful souvenir of her trip to visit her old friend Maria here in Mexico. Lisa stood and nervously examined her reflection in the window. She had always looked young, but, robbed of her high heels, makeup, and crisp business suit, she was just other nervous teenager sitting outside the principal's office. The pigtails and white knee-socks added immeasurably to the effect, even if they did make Lisa feel ridiculous. And why did the damn skirt have to be so SHORT? She nervously pressed her knees together in a desperate attempt to hide her regulation white underpants. "You look EXACTLY like a student!" Maria had chortled as she locked Lisa's purse and clothes in her desk. "I need to get my camera out of the car, but I'd better give you a pass, young lady," she added, pedantically. "Hmmm. I'm out of hall passes," she said, with a sly smile, "but I have another type of pass that will get a young lady like you to the principal's office straightaway." Lisa had fooled the hall monitor easily. But, when the pimply 18-year-old boy rubbed his fanny and winked at her, Lisa suspected something was wrong. Lisa's Spanish was terrible, but, as she tensely waited on the bench, she perused the "pass," a small slip of paper with the words "PETICIÓN DE DISCIPLINA" across the top. A discipline request? Lisa used the Spanish/English dictionary in the bookcase next to her seat to look up the items Maria had specified: Chica insolente - insolent girl Palo - cane Correa - strap Posaderas desnudas - bare bottom Tiempo de la esquina - corner time And then there were the two words Maria had scrawled and underlined on the bottom of the form: "humillación máxima." Lisa looked up at the loudly ticking clock. Where in hell was Maria? Lisa felt queasy as she recalled that day, 15 years ago, when she let Maria, then new to America, take the fall for the pack of cigarettes that Lisa herself had brought to school. It was a cruel trick to play on a new arrival. Maria's inability to speak much English had left her defenseless in the principal's office. Even so, Maria's English was better then than Lisa's Spanish was now. Revenge, after 15 years, would certainly be a cold enough dish. Lisa looked at the glass case displaying dozens of photos of tearful, bare-bottomed students with bright red fannies. Her knees began to quiver as she realized just how revealing her vacation photos were going to be. Edited by C. Lakewood