PRIDE OF THE PURITANS by Joe Whatever "Why punish Rebecca Goodbody and her two daughters?" the young Puritan wife asked. "They are the most respected women in the community." "Their virtue was their undoing," her husband replied, sadly. "The charge is Pride. And Pride is still a sin, even if it is Pride in one's virtue." "How are they to be punished?" the woman asked. "Surely the punishment will not be public?" "A public punishment is essential to teach humility," her husband answered. "They will be hung by their wrists from a scaffold in the town square, with the entire village watching. Then they will be paddled." "Paddled!" his wife exclaimed, startled. "A public paddling for the preacher's wife and daughters? But they are the kindest, gentlest, and fairest women anywhere around." He nodded in agreement. Rebecca Goodbody was a stunning, 38-year-old beauty. And her two daughters, aged 19 and 20, were even lovelier than their mother. "The punishment will be administered by the blacksmith, who, as you know, has tried to court the two daughters, only to be rejected by Rebecca. He told me he intends to teach all three of the little vixens a lesson, and set them dancing and jiggling in front of the entire town." "How horrible!" the young wife said. "Couldn't someone else administer the punishment?" "I am afraid not. The order mentions him by name, and it has been signed by the magistrate." "Even with their thickest skirts, that wicked man will paddle them raw," the pretty wife said, nervously. "There will be no skirts. The order states that all three of them are to be stripped naked as the day God made them." "Stripped naked!" the woman gasped. "Stripped BARE naked? In front of the entire town? How can that be?" "The people who drew up the punishment order specifically stated that all three women were to be stripped absolutely and completely naked and hung up for one and all to see, with their toes just barely brushing the ground. They are to hang in shame for an hour before the paddling -- and for two hours after -- so that every lout in town can ogle them and every woman tease them. Only then will they know humility." Although the image was shameful, she also found it...thrilling. Her heart raced as she imagined those beautiful, modest women dangling naked in the square.... "Who would ever write out such a dreadful punishment order?" she asked. "Rebecca and her two daughters wrote the order," he replied. "It took them days to convince the magistrate. It is a shameful and ignominious punishment, but they felt it was necessary to purge their sins." His wife carefully considered the situation. The upcoming punishment would be dreadfully humiliating. But it also seemed strangely exciting.... After a long pause, she asked a final question. "Good husband, do you think I'm Prideful?" Edited by C. Lakewood