IN THE PINK by Joe Whatever Anne burst into the room and ran towards the tub in which her friend, Elizabeth, was soaking. "Helen's ship was captured by pirates!" Anne said, breathlessly. "Pirates?" Elizabeth said. "I can't believe they'd have the nerve, what with Captain Jack scheduled to hang on Sunday. Their leader is as good as dead." "He's in the pink of health now," Anne gasped. "He escaped last night, and he captured Helen's ship an hour later." "The cheeky rogue," Elizabeth fumed. "It gets worse," Anne went on. "He took Helen back to Pirate Island, stripped her butt naked -- as naked as you are right now -- and pranced her around the auction block in front of all the other pirates!" "He said he wanted to show them what 'English booty' looked like." "He didn't...sell her, did he?" Elizabeth said. "No, even worse. He spanked her! He tied her hands above her head and twirled her naked for the crowd. He said she had the second fairest bottom in the Caribbean, next to yours. And he swore he wouldn't rest until he paddled YOUR pampered backside, too. "He paddled her naked rump...in front of the whole island. And then he took her back to his cabin and 'used' her. They say he can last all night, but I daresay she was none the worse for that," Anne added with a smirk. "Good gracious!" Elizabeth said, feigning shock. But Meg, her maid, wasn't fooled. She smiled. Mistress Elizabeth was trying to look scandalized, but the maid could tell that her lady was secretly thrilled. "Your father is having additional guns placed in the 'Avenger' for your trip next week," Anne said. "He fears for your safety." Elizabeth rose from the tub and admired her fine round bottom in the mirror. "Did Captain Jack really say I had the finest bottom in the Caribbean?" "Yes, and he said he hopes you wear pink undies when he captures you," Anne giggled. "Pink is his favorite color." "Perhaps you should go for a sail today, my lady," the smiling maid said. "I believe the 'Helpless Fairy' is leaving on a pleasure cruise in an hour." "But it has no guns!" Anne gasped. "It's been boarded three times this month. And with Captain Jack on the prowl...." "My maid is right," Elizabeth replied. "You can't let that pirate scum think you're afraid of them." She looked over to the bed, where her grinning maid was already laying out her pink drawers. Edited by C. Lakewood