BE KIND -- PLEASE REWIND by Joe Whatever "The rule is in the video rental agreement, Mrs. Sullivan," the grinning video clerk said. "After five failures to rewind, you get a paddling." "That's ridiculous," the attractive 27-year-old school teacher said. "There is no way I'm going to let one of my STUDENTS paddle me!" "I'm 18 now and a duly authorized employee of ButtBuster Video," Timmy retorted gleefully. "Let's see.... You rented 'FRIED GREEN TOMATOES' on January 11th," Timmy said as he scribbled the title down on the count sheet. "Not rewound." "I remember that one," Mr. Sullivan sighed. "Another horrible chick flick. "Oh, the agony!" "And 'THE TERMINATOR' on February 10th, but that one was rewound." "I got to choose that week," the man explained. "It was my birthday." "Ah, the next week: 'THE WAY WE WERE'.... Not rewound." Timmy continued. "I'm sure I never...," Helen started to protest. But her husband cut her off. "And what's too painful to remember," he warbled softly, "we simply choose to forget." "'CASABLANCA' on the 14th...," Timmy said. "It seems destiny has taken a hand," the husband chortled in his best Bogart voice. "'DIRTY HARRY' and 'MAGNUM FORCE' on the 20th. But those were both rewound." "Swell." "You seem to do better when your husband picks the movies," Timmy observed archly. "'LOVE STORY' was the next one." "I'm sorry, but...," Helen began. "Love means never having to say you're sorry," her husband corrected. Timmy came around the counter and quickly cuffed his teacher's wrists behind her back. An amused crowd formed as he sat down in a director's chair in front of the counter and positioned Helen's shapely bottom over his knee. She gasped as her husband handed the grinning teenager the BUTTBUSTER VIDEO paddle. As Timmy raised her fashionably short skirt, she squirmed helplessly and then blushed as the men in the crowd whistled at her cute yellow panties. But it was about to get worse. "Wait!" Helen cried as Timmy inserted his fingers into the waistband of her panties. "That's only four movies!" "Gone with the Wind," Timmy replied. Helen blushed crimson as her underpants descended to her knees. "Please!" Helen said to her husband. "Don't let him paddle me! Not on the bare! Everyone's watching!" Her husband smiled down on her as Timmy raised the paddle in the air. "Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn." Edited by C. Lakewood