WHAT THEY DON'T SHOW ON TV by Joe Doe TWO MATRONS DISCUSS WHAT IT WOULD BE LIKE TO SEARCH A CELEBRITY. "You wouldn't actually strip her BARE NAKED, would you?" Bertha asked. "You bet I would," Max replied, stridently. "I'd strip her bare-ass naked, just like all the rest of them. Remember, Bertha, we are prison matrons, not camp counselors." The two matrons sat in the large lunchroom chatting about the day's events. A Hollywood star had toured the prison to scout locations for a new film she was producing. Maxine, the bony and butch head matron, had been telling her fellow guard, Bertha, how much she'd like to see the pampered and spoiled celebrity experience the type of strip search she'd seemed so curious about. "But you can't strip her NAKED!" Bertha protested. "She's STAR!" "All the more reason for her to peel down to the skin," Maxine countered. "It would give little Miss Hoity-toity a lesson in humility to strip down to the 'all together' in front of a working stiff like me. Besides, everyone knows those Hollywood babes are all on drugs. The only way I could be certain she's not holding is if she takes off everything -- and I do mean EVERYTHING -- and hands it over." "Gosh, I can't imagine a big celebrity like her actually going through a strip search," Bertha said, shaking her head. "I can imagine it," Maxine said, suggestively. "But it would be so humiliating for her!" "Yeah, it would be quite a tumble from her lofty little perch, wouldn't it?" Maxine said, sarcastically. "Our little golden girl wouldn't be so haughty once she had to hand over her drawers and stand outside with her hands on her head, bare-ass naked!" "My goodness, Maxine," the other guard said. "You wouldn't actually make her run through the compound NAKED, would you?" "Why not?" Maxine asked, casually. "For one thing, all of the guards know who she is," Bertha explained. "They know she's a big celebrity; they all met her on the VIP tour. The warden introduced her to darn near everyone today. You couldn't expect to her to run around naked in front of everyone after she was introduced as a big shot just this morning." "Why not? I think it's kind of funny, really. I mean she came into the place a big movie star, and everyone is fawning over her, trying to get pictures taken, and asking for her autograph. And she's looking at us like we're ants at her stupid picnic, with that snooty, condescending little smile of hers. I'd love to see her running around 'au naturel' in front of all of the 'little people' she snubbed all day long." "But that would be awful for her," Bertha objected. "That's why it would be so GREAT," Maxine parried. "Admit it: every guy she met today, and a lot of the women too, would just love to see her stripped butt-naked, right? I mean, the thought of her, naked as a jaybird, hands on top of her head, out in the compound, is the stuff guys DREAM about. The fact that she's a big celebrity just makes it more of a turn-on!" "I mean, you know that all of the secretaries, janitors, and other folks from the administrative building always crowd around the windows when I lead a bunch of new fish out into the compound," Maxine continued. "This is a country club prison, right? Everyone loves to see all of these white collar criminals (who came in so high and mighty in their designer clothes) naked as newborns out in the yard." Bertha shook her head in disagreement. "But still...she's a STAR! All I'm saying is that you could wait until she's inside the shower room to strip her, or you could give her a towel to wear when she walks between the intake building and the shower building. There's no reason on earth to strip her naked in one building and then make her jog naked to the next." "What makes her so special?" Maxine sneered. "I mean, I process trophy wives, investment bankers, lawyers, crooked politicians -- the whole gamut of pampered, lazy, spoiled, rich bitches. Do you think any of them wants to prance around naked while a bunch of horny, minimum-wage prison guards looks them up and down?" She smiled and sipped her Coke. "I mean, that hot redhead I processed last week used to be the GOVERNOR, for Pete's sake. How do you think she felt when the freaking janitor pinched her bare ass as she jogged by, or when that black delivery man said he 'almost didn't recognize her without her clothes on'? She blushed 50 shades of red! "Our little Hollywood honey wouldn't be any different than the rest," she continued. "I'd strip her bare naked and then trot her over to the other side of the compound, starkers. Then I'd make her stand outside the shower for at least 10 minutes so that all the fellas got a real good look." She smiled and licked her lips lasciviously as she conjured up the mental image. "I'd keep a close eye on her in the shower and make sure she scrubbed EVERYWHERE. And I'd handle her delousing personally! When she came out of the building, she'd be wearing her cute little orange shorts and t-shirt, but with the white delousing powder all over her hair and face she'd look like the Pillsbury dough-boy. I doubt any of the passing cars on the expressway would even recognize her when I shackled her up and put her in the chain gang." "You'd make her pick up garbage by the side of the road, dressed like a CONVICT?" Bertha said in disbelief. "She's a millionairess, for crying out loud!" "Just because you got a lot of money doesn't mean you can't bend over and pick up beer cans," Maxine snickered. "Besides, I'm sure she'd get a lot of honks and hollers from the truckers. They wouldn't know she was a movie star on account of her being a powder head on her first day," Maxine chuckled. "But when she bent over in those tight little orange shorts and poked her cute round ass up in the air, you can bet that the word would go out over the CB that there was a cute new trick on Route 66!" "So do you think she's going to film the movie here?" Bertha asked. "What are they looking for, anyway?" "She's doing a remake of that old cop show from the seventies about the three female private eyes. Anyway, in one of the episodes the little darlings go undercover at a prison. It was controversial at the time, because the three babes got stripped naked, showered, and deloused. You didn't see much skin because it was still just TV, but it was pretty hot." "Personally, I thought that scene was GREAT!" Maxine enthused. "I loved the part where the butch matron barks, 'Okay, girls! Strip down to your BIRTHDAY SUITS!' Well, the cute little blonde detective's jaw drops when she's ordered to strip, and she points to a guy pretending to fill out some papers about three feet away from her and squeaks, 'In front of HIM?' You can tell the idea of peeling down like a grape while some horny pencil-pusher PRETENDS to stare at a form is just a bit more humiliation than the little cheerleader can take. Anyway, since it was TV, the matron says, 'Behind the partition, if you're MODEST, dearie.'" "You know that episode really well," Bertha observed. "Yeah, I have it on tape, and I watch it all the time," Maxine replied. "It was after I saw that show that I decided to become a prison guard. I actually redesigned the intake area to match the scenes in that show. I took out the 'privacy' walls and the curtains to make a big gang shower. That way I can keep my eye on all of those cute little bare asses as they lather up and rinse down," she said with a laugh. "Of course, after I strip them, I line up the pretty ones for a few pictures. Full frontals, sides, back," Maxine explained. "It's nice to have some souvenir photos, and the looks on their faces when you strip them down and pose them are just priceless! I mean, a lot of these girls have never even worn a two-piece at the beach, and here they are, standing butt-naked head to toe, while I SNAP! away with my camera! "It was my idea to start delousing them, and I picked out a spray canister that was just like the one on the show," Maxine said proudly. "I like using the powder, though. That way they come out white-faced and stupid-looking, and it's a pretty good laugh for the rest of the day. Everyone knows they've just been deloused; it's always good for a chuckle." "In the show they order the girls to strip in a room with male office staff watching, and that's where I got the idea of doing the stripping to the first building and making the girls run naked to the next building. I figured if I can't fit all the male guards and the office workers into the stripping room, I can at least bring some naked honeys to them!" "Who says TV isn't educational?" Bertha enthused. "Of course, I added an exam table to the admissions room, even though they didn't SHOW the cavity search in the TV show," Maxine continued. She smiled. "There's something special about telling a corrupt judge or fancy society babe to put her feet up in the stirrups, or bend over and spread her cheeks. Those moments make my job special." Maxine paused and smiled and let her thoughts drift. "I'd love to do that to our little starlet from today," she said softly. "You'd actually CAVITY search her?" Bertha said, in disbelief. "Absolutely. Like I said, they are all druggies out in Hollywood, and the only way to make sure she isn't smuggling contraband is to get my finger nice and deep into her sweet Hollywood hole!" Maxine smiled and held up her hand as if putting on a long glove. "Of course, I'd make her spread her twin Hollywood Hills, too. And then my long, pointy, gloved finger would take a trip deep into her valley...." "You're terrible, Max!" Bertha said. "I know. But there was something about seeing the way she walked through here today, in her fancy clothes, with that superior smile on her face, and the million bucks in the bank.... And then she said for me to call her 'Debra,' all patronizingly; that really made my blood boil. I'd love to take her down a peg or two." "You actually met her?" Bertha gasped. "What was she like?" "It was no big deal," Maxine replied, trying to sound unimpressed. "She's standing outside the admissions room with the warden, and at first I think she's a late arrival. So I say, 'The other women are already naked in the yard, Warden. We better get this little bimbo stripped down bare with the rest of them, or I'm going to fall behind schedule.'" "I can't believe you said that to her!" Bertha gasped. "Didn't you recognize her?" "No. Anyway, Miss Debra looks stunned. "Then she gives me a stupid little smile and says sweetly, 'But I'm not here for processing.'" "So I look over to the warden, and he's just staring at both of us with a dumb look on his face. Since I figure she's just stalling, I turn to her and say, 'Okay, honey buns, that's enough lip out of you! Now strip down naked.... EVERYTHING OFF!'" "You said that to her?" Bertha said, incredulously. "But, you can't talk to a movie star that way!" "Wait, the story gets even better. Miss Fancy Pants stares at me for a few seconds, as if she can't believe that someone has actually ordered HER to take off her precious clothes. But then she actually started to unbutton her blouse!" "You're kidding me!" Bertha exclaimed. "She actually started to STRIP? Right in front of you and the warden?" "Yeah, she actually started to shuck down!" Maxine said, her voice rising with excitement. "Only it was weird, like she's in some sort of trance. She's blushing, and her hands are trembling, and she's staring at her shoes, like she couldn't bear to look at me. Anyway, she's actually got about four buttons undone when the warden wakes up and explains she's not really a prisoner, blah, blah, blah. Well, then Debra snaps out of it, too, and she buttons her blouse up again real quick." "Wow, I can't believe it!" Bertha said. "She was actually going to STRIP for you?" "She WAS stripping for me. Anyway, we start talking, and she's babbling about how perfect my admissions area would be for her movie, and how the prison episode of that old TV show was her favorite, too, and how much my admissions area reminds her of that, and how it was too bad that they 'copped out' because it was a TV show, and on and on. So I tell her that, if she really likes it, she can go sit downstairs with the new fish I'm running through in about an hour. "She gushes that she'd LOVE to watch, but I cut her off. 'You'd do more than WATCH, sugar,' I said to her. I'd run you through the whole procedure, just like the other little bimbos!' "So then I ask the little cutie, 'Are you a natural blonde, Debra?' She doesn't say anything, but she looks down at her fancy shoes, and shifts her weight from foot to foot, and finally nods, 'Yes.' So I just smile and put my pencil between her breasts and then run it down her tummy and the front of her pants and stop when the eraser was right in the center of her twat. Then I give her a little pussy poke and say, 'Well, I'll find out if you're lying soon enough, honey buns.'" "You actually touched her? And then threatened to STRIP SEARCH her?" Bertha said, in amazement. "What did she say?" "Nothing. Not a word. She just stands there staring at her shoes, blushing up a storm. But as soon as I move the pencil, she tries to cover her crotch with her hands, like I have x-ray vision or something," Maxine chuckled. "I tell her that I'd let her go in the morning, after she's had a nice day of fresh air and sunshine, working with the chain gang, and a relaxing night getting to know her new cellmates. But Miss Debra still doesn't say anything. She just stands there, petrified, holding her blouse closed, until the warden ushers her out. She looked way too scared to take me up on my offer, though, which is too bad. Natural blonde or not, I would have loved to get my hands on that sweet honey pot of hers. "I know she was as a hot as a pistol, and I would have worked her over real good during her search. I would have given her a little hand hump; not enough for her to cum, but just enough to drive her crazy. Then I would have slapped her bare butt and sent her into the yard all hot and bothered, with her wet pussy glistening in the sun and her juices dribbling down her thighs." "For goodness sakes, Maxine!" Bertha protested. "You wouldn't really send her outside like THAT, would you? Everyone would SEE!" "They sure would!" Maxine snickered. "And don't think the guys wouldn't notice her delicate condition, especially when she started to bend her knees and squeeze her thighs together to try and finish herself off. By the time she hit the showers, everyone in the prison would know what a hot little piece she was." "It doesn't matter," Bertha replied. "She wouldn't have the guts to go through a search." Bertha spat, contemptuously. "Yeah," Maxine agreed, rising to leave. "These so-called 'actresses' like to talk about 'research' and 'the Method,' but none of them has the brass to go all the way. She's probably nestled safely in her private jet, relieved to be out of the clutches of the big, bad wolf!" Maxine stopped and looked at her watch. "I have another new fish to process across the hall in Room C now." She smiled as she reviewed the folder in front of her. "A society babe whose husband embezzled a fortune and skipped out on his tax bill. She didn't do anything wrong herself, but, since they'd signed a joint return, it's time for one more little princess to bend and spread." "Have fun!" Bertha said, as she headed for the door. "Don't worry, I will. I just need to go upstairs and get my camera. This is going to be a good one. Every few days I get one that's really memorable, and I think this honey is going to make the highlight reel." The two matrons left the room. The seemingly empty lunchroom was quiet for a moment, until the stillness was broken by the sound of an empty juice carton rattling into the garbage can. The two matrons hadn't seen Debra sitting behind the soda machine, but she had seen them. And she had heard every word they had said about her.... The tinsel town beauty nervously ran her fingers through her short blonde hair and stared at the two doors in front of her. One door would take her to freedom. The other led to the room that held the unlucky tax evader waiting for her session with Maxine. She stepped timidly through the second door and across the hall to face another door, this one bearing a large brass letter "C." She put her hand on the doorknob and paused. Once that door locked behind her, she knew, there would be no turning back. She grimaced as she imagined herself jogging naked across the compound with her hands on top of her head while the hoots and wolf whistles rained down on her. Her face flushed red as she imagined the grinning lesbian guard putting her through her paces, camera in hand. Her heart raced as she imagined herself being ogled in the shower, groped on the exam table, and pelted with burning delousing powder. She hoped her new "roommates" would be gentle with her, and the highway wouldn't have too many truckers.... Closing her eyes, she boldly walked into Room C, wincing as the lock CLICKED shut behind her. The trembling, tearful woman on the bench in front of her was very pretty, and there was no doubt Maxine would enjoy searching her. But Debra knew that she herself would be the highlight. She sat on the bench next to the other woman as if she were in a daze; part of her still couldn't believe that she was really going to fulfill her fantasy after all these years. It was only when she saw the exam table in the corner with its brown leather restraint straps and ominous steel stirrups that the blonde realized that she had very probably made a mistake. Her suspicions were confirmed when Maxine walked into the room, followed by a pimply 18-year-old guard with a clipboard. Debra immediately recognized the pimply trainee from earlier that day. She had passed him in the hallway, and he had begged her for an autograph, but she had been tired of signing, so she curtly promised that she would give him one "later." The young man had looked crestfallen, but an angry glance from the warden had quickly sent him scurrying back to work. Maxine looked startled to see her fidgeting nervously the bench, and she decided to take advantage of Maxine's confusion to try to talk her way out of the situation. "I must have gone through wrong door," she said, sheepishly. "If you'll just let me go, I'll be on my way, and I won't bother you any more!" Maxine stared into her pleading blue eyes for several seconds. Finally, just the hint of a smile formed on her tight lips. "Okay, GIRLS!" she barked, pointedly emphasizing the plural. "Strip down to your BIRTHDAY SUITS!" Debra pointed at the pimply guard who was grinning at her like she was a Christmas present about to be unwrapped. "In front of HIM?" she whined. "We don't have any partitions for MODEST dearies," Maxine replied, with a cruel smile. Maxine looked the blushing starlet up and down. The two prisoners reluctantly stood up as Maxine and the grinning boy stood in front of them, arms folded, waiting for the show to begin. Slowly, Debra reached for the top button on her blouse and began her humiliating striptease. She would occasionally glance desperately at the door, hoping against hope that SOMEONE would come to rescue her. Reading her mind, Maxine said, "The warden's already gone home, princess. He won't save your candy ass. You and me have plenty of time to get to know each other." Both prisoners stripped as slowly as possible, but the process didn't take long. Debra looked down unhappily at her purse, jewelry, shoes, socks, and shirt sitting on the bench. She was now wearing nothing but her expensive designer jeans and her lacy bra and panties. Reluctantly, she undid the front of her jeans and started to wiggle the tight pants down over her hips. "Those jeans sure are tight!" the teenage guard observed. "Not as tight as the rest of her, I'm sure," Maxine sniggered. Debra stood in front of the two grinning guards wearing nothing but her wispy bra and panties. Her fellow prisoner, already naked, was trying desperately to shield herself with her hands. "WOW!" the pimply guard said. "Those sure are fancy undies!" "Yeah, it's almost a pity they have to go into her storage crate, ain't it?" Maxine said, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "Okay, honey, quit stalling!" she snapped. She then smiled and added softly, "It's time to find out if you really are a natural blonde." "Please!" Debra pleaded. "Don't do this to me! Not in front of HIM!" she said, looking at the grinning teenager, who was licking his lips in anticipation. The grinning matron walked over to the menacing exam table in the corner and put the camera down on top of it. She reached into a nearby box and took out a thin rubber surgical glove. With a cruel look in her eye, she SNAPPED! the glove on her hand in front of the furiously blushing star. "I wasn't planning on doing this," Maxine said, "but, since you still seem to think you can give orders around here, Miss Debra, I think I'm going to give junior a 'hands-on' training experience." She reached into the box and handed the pimply-faced guard a rubber glove of his own. For a moment, Debra thought she was going to faint. Her pitiful attempt at resistance had earned her a cavity search at the hands of a pimply geek she had scorned just a few hours before. She resolved that, no matter what happened, she would be meek and submissive from now on. She watched unhappily as the smirking teenager SNAPPED on his glove. A few hours ago he had just wanted an autograph. Now he was going to get much, much more. Maxine teasingly ran her finger over the shiny metal stirrup and winked at the two blushing women. It was almost time for the real show to start. Debra gritted her teeth and reached behind her to undo the clasp on her bra. Maxine smiled. The lesbian guard was about to see -- and participate in -- one of the scenes they didn't show on TV.... THE END Edited by C. Lakewood