VISITOR POLICY Q&A by Joe Doe A WARDEN GRANTS AN INTERVIEW TO DISCUSS HIS NEW VISITOR POLICY. Q: Warden, could you take a moment to explain the prison policy regarding female visitors? A: Of course, Linda. As you know, we've had several incidents in the last few years where female prisoners have escaped by posing as visitors or prison personnel. Because of this security risk, we have eliminated most of our female staff and have adopted a new approach to handling female visitors. All women visiting our prison for any reason are admitted to the facility as prisoners. The visitors are put through the standard admissions process and issued a prison uniform. During their stay at the prison they are treated as prisoners and must obey all of the prison rules. At the conclusion of their visit, they go through the formal "release" process, and their clothing and personal property are returned to them. Q: Does this policy apply to all female visitors? A: Absolutely. Of course, for insurance reasons, we do not allow female visitors under the age of 18 or over the age of 45. All visitors must be physically fit and in good health prior to admission. Prison can be a very stressful environment, especially considering that most of our female visitors have never been incarcerated. In addition, visitors usually end up working on chain gang assignments, since they do not have enough honor points to draw a desirable work detail. Thus it is essential that we admit only women who are physically fit enough to meet the harsh challenges of life behind bars. Q: Please describe the "standard admissions process" for a female visitor/prisoner. A: Certainly. A visitor is given a plastic box with her name and prisoner number written on the side. All clothing, jewelry, and personal property is placed in the box, which is then handed over to the guard for proper storage. Q: Are the female prisoners required to remove ALL clothing? Even their underwear? A: Every stitch, Linda. Then the prisoner is taken to the examination room for a more detailed search and basic medical exam. Q: Is the "more detailed search" a cavity search? A: Yes. Q: Is the examination performed by a doctor? A: A medical examination table is used, but a guard performs the procedure. Q: A male guard? A: As I explained, all of our female guards were fired for security reasons. This prevents prisoners from escaping by impersonating guards. Q: What does the basic medical procedure consist of? A: A full cavity search, a blood test, a drug test, and blood pressure test. We also take the patient's temperature. Q: Is the cavity search a visual search? A: No, the guard actually inserts his fingers and manually searches for hidden objects. However, a glove and lubricant are used. Q: Does this cavity search include a rectal search, and does this search involve penetration as well? A: Yes, to both questions. Q: Tell me about the drug test. A: A urine sample is collected from the prisoner. Q: With the male guard watching? A: Yes. For security reasons, the guard is required to watch. Q: What if the prisoner is unable to urinate? A: In those cases, an enema is administered, which the prisoner is required to hold for 30 minutes. By this time sufficient water has seeped through so even the shyest bladder can successfully complete the test. Q: Why is a rectal thermometer used? A: The rectal thermometer prevents violence or injury to psychopathic prisoners who might bite the thermometer. Of course, the guard doesn't know the psychological background of the woman being processed, so a rectal thermometer is always used. Since the temperature is taken after the search, the prisoner's rectum is always sufficiently lubricated. Q: After the search, what is the next part of the procedure? A: After the women have been searched, they are taken to the shower area. Many of our visitors are not used to showering in a large, exposed area with other women, especially with male guards watching them. But, that's prison! After the search, they are deloused and given their uniforms. The entire process usually takes about 30 minutes, but, on visiting days, we get backed up, and it can take a bit longer. Q: How long are the women held? A: Because of the amount of time involved in processing a visitor, we require at least a 72-hour stay. But we'll allow a visitor to stay up to a week, if she wants to. The chain gang is hard work, though, so most are happy to get out after 3 days. Q: How do the female inmates feel about their visitors being searched? A: It depends. We have one woman who claimed that her husband framed her so that he could marry his bimbo secretary. She told the new wife to visit her so that she could sign over some stock certificates. When the new wife arrived, she was processed just like any other visitor. Needless to say, the inmate was delighted to see her rival get a taste of her own medicine. Occasionally we have women ask to see the female prosecutors or policewomen who put them away. This is new facility, so we still get some surprised looks from female law enforcement personnel when we order them to strip. One female FBI agent actually tried to grab a guard's gun when he ordered her into the stirrups for her cavity search. We tanned her fanny good for that one, I can assure you. Q: The female visitors are subjected to corporal punishment? A: Absolutely. They eat the same food, do the same jobs, and are treated just like any other prisoner. If they mouth off, they get a trip to the woodshed and a quick lesson in bare bottom justice. Female law enforcement personnel or women tricked into coming to the facility by inmates are frequently targeted for lesbian sex. Like any prison, we have our share of "tom boys." Because of the difficulty of proving intent, all parties involved are punished, regardless of consent. Q: Can you think of any examples where inmates were unhappy that their visitors were searched? A: Right after we started the program, we had one mother who desperately tried to cancel a scheduled visit by her two teenage daughters. She was a 38-year-old who got framed with a bogus fraud charge when her creepy ex-boyfriend skipped town and left her holding the bag. She didn't belong in prison, in my opinion. The woman had two daughters in college, one 18 and one 19, and they were even more innocent than their mother. Anyway, I guess she had pictures of her daughters in her cell, and one of the guards started teasing her about how much he was going to enjoy searching them, and how he was going make them strip real slow, and how he was going to take pictures of them in the shower and make them wiggle and squirm on the end of his finger. The mother had herself been searched by this guard, and she was desperate to warn her daughters to cancel their visit. She frantically tried to contact them, and she was giving out blow jobs like crazy to try and bribe someone into warning them. I hear the look on the woman's face the first time she saw her two little angels in their prison uniforms was just priceless. Q: How did it turn out for the two daughters? A: The guard kept hassling the three of them, and he submitted a discipline report accusing the younger daughter of "insolence." The mother was very upset and begged to take the strapping herself. I knew the daughter was innocent, so I had her up to my office for a little chat. I thought she needed some paternal guidance, so I took her over my knee and gave her a little fanny warming. Not hard...just enough to give her the sniffles. She was so shy and innocent; you should have heard the way she begged and pleaded with me not to pull down her panties. Anyway, I cancelled her strapping in exchange for a blow job. It was her first time, but I think her mother must have given her some pointers before she came to my office, because she did it just the way I like it. Of course, some girls are just naturals. Q: Can you think of another example where a woman was surprised to be searched? A: We had a high school tour group come through here a few months ago on some sort of "career day." About twenty students, all over 18, and three teachers, one of them female. The woman in charge was a history teacher named Natalie. Natalie was shocked when we separated her and the female students and explained the admissions process. She actually tried to cancel the trip, but, once a woman signs the paperwork and goes through the front gate, there is no turning back. Anyway, we let the male teachers and the male students watch from the control room while Natalie and the female students were searched. We ran them through the whole process: strip search, shower, delousing. A few of the boys even struck a deal with the guards to buy pirate versions of the video tapes. Some of the guys were pretty nerdy, and I think they really enjoyed seeing those pretty cheerleader types put through their paces. There's something especially sexy about seeing a girl that you've fantasized about for years being forced to shuck down and spread ‘em. The guys really yukked it up with Natalie; what male student hasn't occasionally fantasized about making it with one of his pretty teachers? We told the guys about the discipline policy, so as soon as the girls were given their uniforms and the tour began, the guys started teasing the girls about how pretty their cute little prison uniforms were, and what great little jailbirds they'd be. The guys got pretty graphic when they teased the girls about what they had seen during the searches, and, when the women got snippy, we marched them to the punishment room for a bare bottom strapping. We only gave them five licks each, but the girls were still pretty embarrassed, since the guys were allowed to watch, and we spanked them on the bare. You should have heard the guys whistle when the guards pulled down Natalie's cute little prison issue underpants! I heard that, in order to keep the videos off the Internet, Natalie and some of the cuter girls had to "entertain" a bunch of the male students at a graduation party. I'm sure the event was quite educational. Q: I understand there was some controversy over Judge Ashley Marsh's visit. A: I wanted to make sure that there were no misunderstandings, so I explained the rules of the institution to Judge Hawthorn's secretary and to Judge Marsh's secretary, Steven. However, apparently the word didn't get through to Ashley herself, and she was quite surprised when we singled her out from the rest of the group and ordered her to -- how shall I put this? -- disrobe. She seemed particularly incensed because she was forced to strip in front of both Judge Hawthorn and her own secretary. It wasn't my fault that she was the only female visiting the prison that day. Judge Hawthorn agreed that her uncooperative attitude was completely unacceptable, and he supported my decision to strap her for insubordination. After a week of gruel, strap oil, and hard labor on the chain gang, I'm pleased to say that Judge Ashley had reformed into an ideal prisoner. The sassy little spitfire had become docile, compliant, and obedient -- exactly as a woman should be! Q: You mentioned that most of the female staff was discharged. Were there any exceptions? A: Our prison psychiatrist, Heather Johnson, was under long term contract with the prison. Since we couldn't discharge her, we admitted her as a full time guest, and she is now serving out the remainder of her contract under my supervision. Q: Has the transformation from staff to inmate been difficult for her? A: She hated exchanging her fashionable outfits for a prison uniform, and she was very shy about showering in front of the guards. But I think it was good for her to experience prison life from the other side of the bars. She still maintains her therapy schedule with the prisoners, which means she does manual labor only on the weekends. Naturally I'm holding her salary in trust until she's released, and she is afforded no special privileges. She wasn't so whiny about "prisoner abuse" after we gave her a good dose of strap oil. I've certainly gotten a chance to know her a lot better. She didn't want to have anal sex with me at first, but eventually she gave in. It was her first time, and she had the funniest look on her face when I popped her cherry! Q: Would it be possible for me to interview some of the inmates regarding the new visitor policy? A: I thought you'd never ask. If you will just pick up that crate in the corner, we'll take you into the next room. You can remove your clothes in there. Q: Remove my clothes? But...I don't want to be a PRISONER! I'm a journalist! I'm just here for an interview! A: Now, Linda, don't raise your voice to me. I already explained that, once a woman walks through the front gate, there is no turning back. And you already signed all of the paperwork. Q: But you can't...you have no right.... A: Tsk, tsk. Now where is that discipline request form? Edited by C. Lakewood