THE UNHAPPIEST ELF by Joe Doe STEPHANIE WITNESSES THE FATE OF A VERY UNHAPPY ELF AT THE MALL. "Wendy, could you get that toy off the floor?" Santa asked sweetly. "I don't want any of the boys or girls to trip and hurt themselves. "Why don't you get it yourself, tubby?" the cranky elf snapped. In a way, Stephanie actually felt sorry for the girl. The mall was packed, and the line to see Santa was endless. Santa's request had been reasonable; he hadn't picked up the toy himself because he had two screaming children on his lap. But Stephanie could understand why the pretty young elf was at wit's end. Stephanie had always hated the Christmas jobs that she had when she was in college, and she was glad that she was going to be able to enjoy three glorious weeks off from her lucrative law practice. She didn't mind taking her nephew to the mall for his picture with Santa, however. Since Stephanie's sister lived way out here, she had never had an opportunity to visit this mall before, and she was the kind of young woman who was always eager to try new things. In fact, however, she recognized the pretty elf with the bad temper from the newspaper. That elf was a female law student who had launched an unsuccessful lawsuit to close the local "Hooters" last year on the grounds of "displaced harassment." Her novel legal concept sought massive damages for the campus coeds as compensation for the "unsavory brain patterns" that Hooters formed in the campus males. Stephanie had read that the frivolous suit had cost the young woman her internship, and she suspected that the proud young feminist was now working at the mall to pay her tuition. Obviously the skimpy elf costume galled the strident feminist. And Stephanie was not unsympathetic. Even her crumby Christmas jobs hadn't required her to prance around in a red micro-mini with thigh-high green hose and garters. The elves' costumes were clearly designed as Christmas eye candy to entice the fathers to endure the endless queue to see Santa. It was an effective technique: Stephanie was the only adult female in the tortuous line. "My break should have been five minutes ago," the feminist elf snarled. Santa scowled back, and Stephanie could tell that old St. Nick was quickly losing patience with his rebellious helper. As soon as he finished with the child on his lap, Santa dutifully called for a five-minute break. The children and their parents groaned in misery as Santa made the announcement with a hearty "Ho-Ho-Ho." But his face changed as he turned and glared at his petulant helper. To Stephanie's surprise, he grabbed the rebellious elf by her wrist and pulled her through the front door of the wooden stage set that was serving as Santa's house. The windows to Santa's house were far too high for any of the kids to see in. But adults could see clearly, and Stephanie gasped as Santa sat down on his break chair and pulled the naughty elf over his knee. The elf struggled, but Santa effortlessly pinned the 20-something girl's arm behind her back and raised her short red skirt over her squirming hips. "What do you think you're doing?" the irate elf cried. "You've been a very naughty little girl," Santa said, sternly. "And, since I left my lumps of coal back at the North Pole, I'm going to give you a spanking instead." "I'll sue you for everything you're worth!" "Fine," he replied, tartly. "I'm represented by the firm of Rudolph, Dasher, and Vixen, and I'll tell them to be expecting your call." The girl kicked her booted feet as he inserted his chubby fingers into the waistband of her candy cane underpants. The little elf's eyes went wide with panic when she surveyed the countless smiling faces watching her through the window. Realizing that her legal defense was a bust, the quick-thinking elf decided to try another tack. "Please, Santa, let me keep my panties up," she pleaded. "I'm sorry I was naughty! Don't spank me bare!" But the angry Kris Kringle ignored her frantic pleas, and soon the candy cane panties were in a childish tangle around her knees. "Do you promise to be a good little girl?" SPANK! "YES, SANTA!" "Do you promise to be polite to all the boys and girls!” SPANK! “Yes Santa!” “Do you promise to do what Santa tells you when we're on stage?" SPANK! "Yes, sir!" "And will you stop glaring at the men when they look at your legs?" SPANK! "Yes!" "Do you promise to change into your costume here in the house each morning, so that the men who've been waiting for us to open have something to enjoy?" "What?" she yelped. "But that'll mean I'll have to strip naked!" SPANK! SPANK! SPANK! "Yes, Santa!" the little elf cried. "And I'll change into my street clothes here, too, before I go home!" Stephanie looked around; the men standing in the line were looking at far more than just the pretty girl's legs. The girl's cute red fanny was squirming lasciviously, and her kicking legs were revealing all of her "Christmas treats." The children were completely oblivious to the sounds coming out of Santa's house. They were playing on the floor or chattering with their brothers and sisters about what they were going to say to Santa. But every window in Santa's plywood house seemed to have dozens of adult male eyes eagerly watching the pretty elf's shameful ordeal. The smiles and snickers from the huge audience demonstrated that the men of the community strongly approved of Santa's management techniques. Stephanie watched intently herself as the humiliated young woman wiggled her bare bottom in front of the leering, lustful audience. Santa chuckled as a pretty blonde elf with an impish smile entered the tiny house with her video camera and began recording the proceedings. Obviously the naughty, spanked elf had not endeared herself to the other elves in Santa's workshop! "Good!" he said. "Now, if you decide to sue...." SPANK! "Or call the police...." SPANK! SPANK! "We'll have plenty of evidence!" SPANK! SPANK! SPANK! "Of course, in that case, I wouldn't be surprised if this little video ends up all over the Internet!" "You can count on it, Santa!" the smiling newcomer said, merrily. Stephanie had both spanking and exhibitionistic fantasies, but she had never imagined seeing the two at once. She clenched her thighs together tightly as she watched the blushing elf wiggle her red fanny lewdly for the men. Stephanie was far too prim and conservative to ever act out her fantasies; she was a respected attorney, after all. But that didn't mean that she couldn't enjoy the show. Besides, in this mall, no one knew who she was. ****************************** The young elf who rang up Stephanie's photo purchase a few minutes later was a changed woman: obedient, submissive, and almost overly polite. Poor little elf! It was hard to act superior and aloof when your smiling customers had just watched you get your naughty little fanny tanned. But Stephanie's mind was elsewhere. She looked over at her nephew. He was sitting on the bench about 10 feet away, intently watching the little Christmas train go round and round, oblivious to the world. She swallowed hard and looked the embarrassed elf in the eye. "I noticed a help wanted sign," Stephanie whispered. "Could I apply for a job as one of Santa's elves?" Edited by C. Lakewood