TERRI AND JOXX by Joe Doe MY VERY TARDY RESPONSE TO THE POSER PICTURES JOXX POSTED IN THE OLD GROUP. "Hello, may I help you?" the secretary's voice said. "I'm holding for Miss London." "Yes, of course. She'll be with you in a moment. Could you please hold?" "I've been holding for ten minutes," Joxx replied. "Yes, of course you have," the snippy secretary replied. "Just one moment more, please. Miss London is a very busy, important, and influential person." Jox's reply was cut short as the secretary's voice disappeared and the elevator music started again. Life was short, and Joxx was on hold.... "Hello, this is Terri London," a voice finally said. "How may I help you?" "I'm not sure," Joxx admitted. "You called me, or your secretary did. Then she put me on hold." "Of course she did," Terri replied condescendingly. "I'm far too busy, influential, and important to dial my own phone." "So I've been told...repeatedly," he said. "But I assume you had some reason for calling me and keeping me on hold?" "I think it's vital, before we start, that you understand how important I am," she explained. "I've won two Pulitzers. I've got a corner office at my paper. I'm pals with Oprah." "I'm awestruck," he replied. "Why did you call?" "It was about those pictures you drew for that...group," Terri said. "The illustrations for the Joe Doe stories." "Ah, yes," he said. "Did you like them?" "Yes, I did," she admitted. "You're extremely talented. It's a pity the subject matter isn't more...elevated. The night I dined at the White House, perhaps, or the day I won the Clare Booth Luce Award. However, that was your artistic choice, and I respect that. I practically invented the First Amendment." "What did you like about the pictures?" Joxx asked. "The sense of anticipation on that poor girl's face," she said. "That office is such a dreadful place. There's one shot where that girl's feet are scrunched up on the cold tile floor -– the floor was freezing! Um...I mean...so I've been told." "Of course." "I mean...how else would I know if the floor was cold?" she said defensively. "It's not like there would be any reason for me to be traipsing around the Sheriff's office barefoot." "I understand. What else?" "It was such a horrible place, so clinical. They really made the stripping feel routine, like stripping those poor girls naked was some sort of dreadfully boring bureaucratic procedure that they couldn't hardly be bothered with. And you did a really nice job of capturing those awful, piggish, lip-smacking men in the window. I hated them, the way they looked at me...I mean...the other girls, of course." "Of course," Joxx replied diplomatically. "Any questions?" "Of course. I'm a Pulitzer Prize winning reporter -– twice, although I hate to brag. What was on the clipboard hanging on the wall? What was in the glass area to the girl's right? Was it the shower area? I really think you should post a message to the group and let people know what you were thinking, since I've been wondering, and I think others might be, too." "I'll definitely consider it. Any suggestions?" "I did notice the table was pointing the wrong way. It should have been facing the window." "It WAS facing the window," Joxx said. "No, the other way." Her voice cracked with anger. "Pointed TOWARDS the window. Those men were awful, filthy pigs -– they all want to do the most disgusting things. When they put me in the stirrups, those perverts got to see everything!" "When they put YOU in the stirrups?" Joxx said, chuckling. "Are you saying the Sheriff arrested YOU?" "I know what you're doing -– you're trying to imply that they arrested me. You want the whole world to think that Terri London, Pulitzer-winning investigative journalist, was stripped butt naked and spread out like Miss July, before being carted off to work in some brothel." "I didn't mean to imply...." "You're just like that awful Joe Doe! Don't you know that, according the terms of my parole...um...my release...um...my agreement with the Sheriff...whatever...that I'm prohibited from discussing what happened? So that dreadful, so-called writer -- who doesn't have as much talent in his perverted head as I have in my little finger, by the way -- writes that awful story, implying that I was...was.... "Processed?" Joxx suggested helpfully. "See! PROCESSED! As if stripping a woman naked, and spreading her legs, and delousing her, with everyone watching, is somehow justified. 'Just drop your panties in the box, Ms. London...all part of the process. Spread your legs for the delousing now...all part of the process.' Men!" "I thought you liked the pictures," Joxx said. "Don't confuse the point! I'm a two-time Pulitzer winner, and I could have you for breakfast if I wanted to -– you and your buddy, Joe. You're as bad as he is...having that girl in your picture drop her panties into a box marked, "London, Terri." I know what you're implying!" "Did the Sheriff strip you, Terri?" Joxx asked. "That's…not the point! You have no right to even ask. You're just like all the rest. Laughing behind my back when I get on the elevator -– making fun of me! I've fired a dozen interns at this paper for smiling at me, and don't think I can't fix your wagon, too. Did you see how I made you wait on hold? I'm an important person! I know Oprah!" "Look, I really have to go now...," he said wearily. "No, wait! It seems the owner of the paper liked your pictures, too, and he wants to send me on another undercover assignment. He asked Joe Doe to forward you some ideas. He wants you to draw a sketch to help him visualize the story." "A picture of you...." "No, not like that -– nothing explicit. This is a family newspaper. If he likes the picture he might send me out...on the assignment." "You mean...you'd be on another assignment?" Joxx asked eagerly. "Yes...only you and Joe would decide what it was. I think that rotten Joe...whatever his name...is sent you an e-mail. Ah...here it is." Terri's voice faltered slightly as she pulled up the e-mail and scanned the message. "These assignments are wonderful...I mean awful. They seem so...risky." There was a sudden thud as Terri dropped the phone. "Oh, I'm sorry," Terri said. "I lost my grip because my other hand was...well.... I have to go now. Let me put you on hold again. Goodbye." The elevator music resumed as he hung up the phone and pulled up Joe's long e-mail: Dear Joxx, Thank you so much for the pictures. I thought all three of them were wonderful, and I was awestruck by the fantastic job you did. NICE WORK! I wanted to give you some ideas for future pictures that might (who knows?) lead to future stories, either from myself or from other authors. I'd like the pictures to be in the style of "One Question Too Many," in that the danger and nudity are suggested but not shown. I think in all the pictures Terri should be dressed to the nines, but placed in a situation where she may not remain that way for long. If there are other women in the pictures, I think they should definitely be dressed, but feel free to make it clear that they, too, may not remain that way for long. These are just ideas. If you have others, or if you want to do a different picture in a different setting, that's cool. As a matter of fact, if you don't want to do any pictures at all, that's fine, too. The real purpose of this note was to bounce ideas back and forth in a playful way, and to compliment and thank you for your work -- not to hector you for more. Possibilities -- TERRI VISITS THE ASYLUM: An investigation of the disappearance of several young heiresses and "troublesome" female whistle-blowers leads Terri to Darkly Asylum. As the sleazy Doctor Leer leads her on a tour, she passes a young woman in a crew cut. Terri is dressed in her crisp business suit, but the young barefoot patient wears only her diaper and straitjacket. Two large male orderlies lead her into a room marked, "ELECTROSHOCK." Terri looks on in horror, and is especially disturbed by the contrast between the patient's attire and her own. Why is the girl's hair so short? Would they shave Terri's head, if she were a patient here? She shudders at the thought. Electroshock? If she were a patient...surely they wouldn't...they couldn't.... The smiling doctor, oblivious to Terri's distress, points happily at the fully exposed examination table next to the nurses' station. His manner is happy and friendly, as if he were giving a tour of Disneyland. A smiling nurse places a box on the exam table. It bears Terri's name and a number.... TERRI AT THE COMPUTER CAMP: Natalie asks Terri to give a lecture at the computer camp on "Computers and Journalism." During her visit, Natalie shows her the brightly lit shower room from "Shower Show." They are both fully dressed, of course, but the women look nervous as they eye the ceiling-mounted fixtures, the concrete floor, and the open gang shower. Perhaps the picture is from the point of view of a young man observing the two women through a crack in the wall. Terri will be staying in the main house, of course, but if her plumbing "accidentally" malfunctions, she will be forced to shower here.... TERRI VISITS BOYS TOWN: Terri visits Boys Town to investigate a rumor that female tourists are being shanghaied and forced to work as prostitutes. Terri, standing in the police station, discreetly compares a snapshot in her wallet to a woman in the cell. In the photo, the woman is smiling and well-dressed. However, the woman in the cell is dressed as a prostitute. She frowns and clutches the bars as she watches her latest pimp bail her out for the night. Terri is so engrossed in her discovery that she doesn't notice the police chief eyeing her lovely form as he snaps the stirrups of the exam table into place. Meanwhile, another officer stealthily removes Terri's wallet from her purse.... TERRI'S SCHOOL VISIT: Terri sits in the Headmaster's office from "Back In School." The headmaster leans back in his chair and leisurely flexes a school cane as a young woman in school uniform trembles before him. The woman is in her early twenties, but her hair style and humble manner make her appear younger. The young woman stands pigeon-toed, staring at her shoes, as she attempts to talk her way out of her inevitable punishment. UNIVERSITY "HEALTH CRISIS": An outbreak of head lice at a school 750 miles away gives a university president the excuse he needs to order strict new hygiene procedures. He and Terri stand in the gym and watch as a line of young women, some students and some faculty, wait nervously in their towels. The gym floor is so cold! At the end of line, two grinning fraternity boys fiddle with the delousing equipment, while the school's newspaper photographer adjusts his camera and lights. THANKS AGAIN FOR YOUR FANTASTIC PICTURES... From Joe, Search'em, Lakewood, and everyone in the group. Edited by C. Lakewood