I AM NOT ASHAMED 20 THE MEGUMI STORIES BY MEGUMI KATO AND FRIENDS VOLUME 03: I AM NOT ASHAMED BY KIMIKO KOBAYASHI AND MEGUMI KATO CHAPTER XX The Beginning Gently the tray was removed, its silver chains unclipped from my high collar and the handles withdrawn from my numb fingers. The straps holding my legs together were undone, and the two girls supported me as I stepped stiffly down from my little platform. I wanted so much to thank them, and my Master, for all they had done but they chose not to remove my gag. One of the Filipinas brought a tray of damp cloths and Tomoko carefully wiped the love-juice from between my legs while Shizue gently patted away the sweat which had accumulated on my face and breasts. My elbows were still agonisingly pinioned behind my back, and they tied one end of a long rope to the links joining the cuffs. At the last moment my Master unscrewed the beautiful clamps and their tinkling bells from my breasts, and I noticed him slip them into his jacket pocket: he was planning to use them again during the evening, then, but would he use them on me? There was friendly applause as I entered the main room, Shizue and Tomoko leading me by my rope. Whereas last week I had been under Test, they knew me now and were glad that I was joining them. Many of my new friends were stripped and ready for action, although some of the girls were still in their delightfully provocative and revealing dresses. But my attention was fixed on the structure awaiting me at the end of the room. It was a black-painted metal framework a little less tall than my own height in my black high-heeled boots, with horizontal bars at top and bottom to which my hands and feet could be tied. Across the middle was a broad strip which was comfortably padded. As the two girls brought me to stand up against it, facing forward, the padded area extended from just above my crotch to just below my breasts. I was ordered to stand with my feet apart, and short ropes soon bound my ankles to the lower bar. At last the cruel cuffs holding my elbows together were unlocked, and in the rush of pleasure from my shoulder muscles as the tension was released I was glad to let my wrists be roped to the upper bar, stretched as widely apart as they comfortably could be. I hoped someone was taking photographs: stretched out like that helplessly in my tight, tight corset and my long boots and gloves I must have looked charmingly erotic. Shizue turned to the expectant audience and made a short speech telling them what they already knew: how she and Tomoko had spotted my potential as a submissive, and had persuaded the others to let me be subjected to three Tests; and how the last had been the usual examination of candidates which I had easily passed the previous week. I was more interested in what was happening to the frame to which I was securely bound: the upper part was slowly leaning forwards, taking me with it, so that I was soon bent over the apparatus as it took on something like the shape of the "horse" over which children jump in a school gymnasium. My bottom was now the highest part of me; only a padded framework held my head up and prevented me from letting it droop over the far side. "And now we all know what Kimiko's main sexual interests are," Shizue was saying laboriously. She seemed to be one of those unfortunate people who cannot stop themselves going on too long when invited to speak in public. "And anyone who _doesn't_ know has only to look at the little tattoos at the tops of her thighs!" My legs were widely spread, held taut and straight in their tight high-heeled boots by the frame to which I was fixed. Those standing near me on that side bent down to examine my shamelessly displayed crotch, and told each other how pretty my tattooed rope and whip were. Shizue seemed to have finished her prepared talk by now, and was inviting everyone to make use of me in my helplessness. Meanwhile Tomoko had been at work preparing me further. At last she removed the gag from my mouth. I swallowed the accumulated saliva carefully, and worked my jaw muscles. They were stiff, but - a naughty thought occurred to me - were about to receive the best lubricant a girl could have. Tomoko was now kneeling under the framework, attaching little metal clips to my breasts; and then reached between my legs and fixed another tiny one to my clitoris. They were the merest pinpricks compared with the wonderful clamps which had tortured me so gloriously for the last couple of hours; but there were wires attached to the clips and I guessed they would soon deliver more sensation than that. To my surprise Tomoko then attached a little microphone to the framework near my face. "Are you planning to record my screams?" I asked quietly. "Well, yes - for the soundtrack on the video," she replied, "but that's not all. Watch!" She suddenly clapped her hands twice, and then once again, in front of the microphone. Bursts of delicious electrical tingling tickled my breasts and cunt. "Say something," she commanded in a louder voice. "Oh, this is so lovely ..." I responded. Again the sound was matched by the rise and fall of the sensation in my breasts and clitoris. I guessed the clever device was adapted from the amplifier used in a disco to make the lighting pulsate in line with the volume of the music. "You see, you always promise you _won't_ scream, however much you are hurt," said Tomoko in a softer voice, "but now I think you'll want to scream as loud as you can! The more you scream, the more it will torture you - and the more it tortures you, the more you will scream. And there's _nothing_ you can do to stop it. Isn't that _lovely_?" She gave me a little kiss, then left me to my fate. I had decided, thinking things over in my lonely helplessness on my little platform, that my original idea for this part of the evening would not work. I had imagined offering myself for pleasure by those who had enjoyed my presentation, and for punishment by those who were dissatisfied. But of course the punishment would be as enjoyable as the pleasure - for me and for those using me too, I hoped. And what was the point, I now asked myself, of trying to be perfect in my presentation if the result was to deprive myself of one of my greatest pleasures? One man, Emi's friend, had already undertaken to punish me and I was looking forward to it quite dreadfully. So what could I do except look imploringly up at all the people standing round me and say, "Oh, please do everything you want! _Everything_!" My Master was the first to take me, thrusting his enormous erection at my face and making the framework rise a little to allow for his height. The apparatus held my head at exactly the angle for his cock to pass smoothly through my mouth and down my throat, though the tight black collar round my neck produced a little extra constriction which I sensed he enjoyed. With my mouth so stuffed and my body still so tightly bound by the lovely black corset, I found breathing difficult but soon established a rhythm of short shallow breaths through my nose. As I could not move my head, my Master thrust in and out with his hips, fucking my face vigorously till my mouth was flooded with the familiar taste of his cum. I swallowed it joyfully and thanked him for using me so well. The others had left my Master in sole possession of me for the first fuck of the evening but now began to use me relentlessly at both ends, pushing each other out of the way in their excitement. Some of those who wanted my mouth pulled out at the last moment and spattered their cum over my face: unable to do anything else, I just let it hang there, my sluttish appearance providing an added stimulus. My foolish idea of being punished at one end and pleasured at the other vanished completely as everything that was done to me merged into endless delight. Even a few girls joined in: there is a scene in the video of that night, showing a cock firmly plugged into my arse and a couple of giggling girls competing to present their pretty bottoms and cunts to my mouth, which I watch repeatedly as one of the most erotic images of myself that I know. But the loveliest experience was something I had often dreamed of but never achieved in reality: one man fucking my mouth while another whipped my arse - a combination of different pleasures whose power almost overwhelmed me. I begged my lovers to keep it up endlessly, the man with the whip taking over my mouth as soon as it was free while the next in line stimulated his lust and mine with further cruel strokes on my quivering, red-hot bottom. At last it was over, for a while at least. I had lost count of course, but every man who wanted me must have used me at least twice; and it would have been greedy to expect more. Other girls were longing to be fucked too, and some men chose to use the sight of my helpless submission as a visual stimulus to sex with other partners. As I lay gasping over my frame, my bottom still beautifully positioned for anyone who wanted to use it, I realised Tomoko was kneeling in front of me again, gently wiping the cum and sweat from my face. "How are you feeling, Kimiko?" she asked. "Wonderful," I croaked, the cum I had swallowed clogging my throat. "Have they finished? Oh, _please_ don't say they've had enough!" "No, no; it will start again soon. But it will be different, and very lovely for you I think. Just rest a little now." The electric tingling unleashed by our voices in the microphone stopped. I must have dozed off for a few minutes, as the next thing I was conscious of was a soft but erotic rustling and tinkling sound. I opened my eyes and saw a man crouched in front of me. I focussed on him and recognised the _gaijin_, little Emi's friend. "Hello there, Kimiko," he said softly. "Are you ready for your punishment yet?" "Oh, yes please!" "I'm going to start with this." He swished the instrument he was holding from side to side, and I saw that it was a cat-o'-nine-tails. "But Emi-san said you would use a cane," I objected. "All in good time, little one. You must work up to that. But now you will enjoy this." I looked closer and saw that the long slim lashes were tightly knotted, and decorated with little specks of shiny metal. It was they that had produced the tinkling sound. It looked a lovely cat, but I was still uncertain. "Will it leave marks?" I asked anxiously. "Oh, yes. For a few days. You'll have to hide them from your mother somehow." He grinned cheerfully. "But it will be worth it. Come, are you ready?" "Please." "But before I start I have another little toy for you to enjoy. Look." He was dangling before my eyes a pair of small hooks in black metal. They were joined together and attached to a thin black cord. "No, I don't suppose you know what it is," he continued. "It has only recently come back into fashion among people like us. It will force you to hold your head up so that your admirers can enjoy watching your face as I whip you." "How does it ..." I began to ask, but could not find my voice. "It's a little nose bondage device," he said: "and it works like this." Quickly he slipped the two hooks into my nostrils, taking the cord up over my forehead and down my back. I could feel him loop it into the top fastening of my corset. "Ready?" he asked; but without waiting for an answer tightened the cord, pulling up my head till my chin no longer rested on the padded shelf and I looked frankly up at the faces of the people surrounding me. The pressure of the hooks inside my nose was uncomfortable, and my neck and shoulder muscles screamed in pain, but I could bear it. When he stood in front of me again I could see him clearly at last. He was bare-chested but wearing black trousers. There was no sign of an erection through the cloth. This man, I thought, will whip and cane me with clinical precision, not just to stimulate his own desire. A great feeling of contentment flooded through me as I prepared to submit to a professional. He moved out of my sight, the ends of the cat dragging sexily along the carpet behind him. I felt his gentle hands on my bottom. "Look at this sweet, plump arse!" I heard him say to the others. "Perfect for the whip. I have shown her the instrument, and she has consented to it. Can everyone see?" There was a short pause, then I felt his left hand, resting lightly on the shiny black cloth of my corset, change position as he hefted the cat in his right. I held my breath - and suddenly it came: the nine lashes with their hard knots and metal points hurtling down onto my bottom. It was like being plunged into black night, but a night illuminated by the most brilliant firework-display. Of course there was almost no sound, but it felt as if a series of explosions had gone off all over my body. I screamed with anguished delight; of course I had not been able to make much noise while my mouth had been stuffed with cock after cock, and I had almost forgotten the ingenious sound-driven device attached to my breasts and clitoris, so the electric tingling which surged through my body added unexpectedly to my joy. "More, more! Oh, harder!" I begged. "Take it easy, little one! This is just the beginning. And don't be greedy: I whip slowly, so you can enjoy each stroke. You _are_ enjoying it, aren't you?" Without waiting for an answer he brought the cat down again, subtly varying the angle of stroke so that the pleasure was concentrated on my lower bottom. Then it was the turn of my upper thighs, the flesh exposed at the top of my tight boots; with my legs bound wide apart the long lashes could snake and curl round each thigh separately, tormenting the sensitive skin of my crotch. I screamed and begged for mercy, hoping - knowing - that he would understand that I wanted no such thing. The electrical charge tormenting my nipples and clitoris rose and fell in sympathy with my screams. What was it Tomoko had said about this wonderfully sadistic piece of equipment? "The more you scream, the more it will torture you - and the more it tortures you, the more you will scream." Oh ... oh ... _yes_ ... I was incoherent now: sobbing, screaming and begging with no thought other than that this heavenly experience should last for ever. But alas it did not. After another dozen or so lashes, there was a pause. Then suddenly one last stroke, skilfully covering the whole of my bottom. Then nothing. "Oh, _why_ have you stopped?" I gasped when I at last had my breath back. "Because you are too greedy, little one," I heard him say. "You will appreciate it much more if you learn to enjoy it in stages. I will take you up with me; then I will bring you down again. Only when I think you are truly ready will I let you experience final ecstasy." "I am ready!" "That is for me to decide." I felt his hands softly stroking my bottom, and heard his voice explaining to the audience how sudden contrasts between violent pain and delicate manipulation would give me even greater pleasure than a simple crescendo of agony. I had to admit he was right. The stroking stopped, and I was aware of my lover kneeling before my face again. This time he was holding a selection of canes and rods. "I promised to cane you, little one, and now I shall. In a few minutes. But I have many canes, and it is important that you should agree with my choice. This big thick one will give you great excitement, but maybe he is too rough and brutal for your pretty bottom. I think perhaps this very narrow cane would be right for you: he is whippy and flexible, and so very sharp! Oh yes, I believe you will love him!" He slashed the cane through the air a few times. "Let me show you. Emi-chan, come here a moment," he called to one side. Emi joined him at once. She had abandoned her pretty open-front dress and was fully naked now. He rose, leaving the cane on the carpet, and slipped his right arm over her shoulders. She smiled unsuspectingly up at him. Suddenly he twisted her round so that she was doubled over, gripped her round the waist with his left, picked up the cane and flicked it several times rapidly over her plump buttocks. While Emi screamed and gasped at this unexpected caress, he showed me how each switch of the cane had burnt a line almost as narrow as a hair into her flesh, white at first then changing rapidly to a red so bright it was almost as if his cane had drawn blood. "You'd like that, wouldn't you?" he asked, as Emi scrambled off to rejoin her envious friends, her hands tenderly stroking the lovely decorations on her fiery bottom. Without waiting for an answer, he walked to the other side of the frame to which I was fastened. I felt his hands on my waist, tightening even further the straps of my beautiful corset. Could a girl stand being so painfully constricted, would I not be snapped in half by this incredible remodelling of my body? But then everything else was obliterated as the first stroke of - oh, _so_ many! - came sizzling down onto my arse. Of course David had caned me well as I lay bound and blindfolded on a hotel bed in Kyoto, but that was only his thoughtful introduction of me to such pleasures. My Master had flicked me with his riding crop as he fucked me, but that was only to add spice to our love-making. Nothing had prepared me for the ecstatic experience I was now being granted. The whipping with the cat had so sensitised my skin that from the very first stroke of the cane my body was flooded with pleasure. The reality of a room full of people, of a particular man slicing into my bottom with a particular slender length of leather-sheathed wood, vanished and I was left alone, face-to-face with my own sexuality. I saw myself, fixed in beautiful submission to the frame. It seemed a long way away, and yet I could see every detail sharply. Was it an inward vision or some version of reality? I opened and shut my eyes a few times but it seemed to make no difference. The girl down there - I myself, so beautiful in my sexy black costume, my tiny waist emphasising the voluptuous curves of my arse - seemed to have fainted and I could tell somehow, perhaps from their gestures, that my friends were worried for me as my lover continued to cane me relentlessly. But he was right, and I wanted somehow to tell them so. His strokes were keeping me aloft in this new world I was discovering, just as skilful twitches on the string will keep a kite flying high above the wind ... the pain he was giving me was the thread which kept me tethered to the pretty suffering girl down there. She seemed such a long way down! I was flying - swimming - through a world of golden light, luxuriating in my freedom as I twisted and floated. Were there other people here or was I alone in my own private paradise? I was in no hurry to find out: now that I had discovered this place and how to get there, I would be back. As often as possible. No wonder, if what Emi had said was true, girls made special appointments to be caned and liberated into ecstasy by this wonderful man. I had been flying face up towards the golden light. When I turned again, the room and the people and the girl had vanished. I could see below me a beautiful landscape - green fields, blue lakes, white mountains - like the pictures I had seen and built fantasies around as a child. What would it be like to land there? Was it real, or just something I had built out of forgotten memories? Could I - should I - break the thread that tethered me to my previous life? One day, perhaps. I would come here often, as often as I could find a lover able to give me the powerful sensations which turned the key in the lock. But my old world still had so much to offer! I was an accepted member of the Friday evening meetings now, and longed to learn everything my new friends had to teach me. Shizue had promised to introduce me to the Paradise Club, and I so looked forward to that. We, and Tomoko, would spend free afternoons in sexy clothes looking for pick-ups willing to pay for the privilege of pleasuring us. The _mama-san_ of the Pink Pussycat would always be glad to let me spend a lovely evening there as a nude hostess: oh, how nice that would be - to be _completely_ nude in front of everyone, admired, available! And if I wanted something a little sleazier the salons of Asakusa were waiting for me. I would find the little Filipina Melody and ask her to teach me all the things only girls know how to do to each other. And I must contact David again: I giggled at the thought that perhaps _I_ now had much to teach _him_! I began to feel the pull of the invisible thread. A whole new life was waiting for me. It seemed incredible that I had once been ashamed of my feelings. In the last few weeks I had confronted my sexuality and had decided I liked what I saw. More than that, I wanted everyone else to like it too. My friend Matsumoto-san had hinted that, if the video of tonight's performance was satisfactory, there might be work for me at the Marucho Film Company. The thought of a career as a nude model and fuck-film actress made me tremble with excitement. There were decisions to be made down there. Should I continue my job as an OL? When should I tell my family about my new life? Would they agree that there was nothing to be ashamed of in making the most of my enthusiastic sexuality and my desirable body? I felt my mother would understand, and she could talk my father round. Should I leave home and find myself a little apartment? Alone, or with a girlfriend who shared my tastes? The lovely new country I had discovered would always be waiting for me. I neither knew nor cared whether it had objective existence or was hidden somewhere inside myself. I knew the way now: I would be back. Meanwhile a new Kimiko - sensuous, sexually aware, self-confident - was waiting in the ordinary world to be breathed into life. Nothing would ever be the same again. Drawn by the invisible thread, I floated softly down to join her. END OF I AM NOT ASHAMED [Coming Next: Volume 04 of the Megumi Stories: UNFINISHED AFFAIRS] For complete series so far see /files/Authors/Bob_Williams