I AM NOT ASHAMED 13 THE MEGUMI STORIES BY MEGUMI KATO AND FRIENDS VOLUME 03: I AM NOT ASHAMED BY KIMIKO KOBAYASHI AND MEGUMI KATO CHAPTER XIII Interlude The next morning, trim and demure in my Office Lady uniform and bearing one of the company's smart carrier bags, I arrived punctually for work at the Shinagawa Electronics Corporation. It was Tomoko's day in charge of the reception desk in our office and she was already speaking on the telephone, while Shizue was nowhere to be seen: I supposed she was either late or still in the ladies' room adjusting her make-up. Standing beside her desk I began to unload my carrier bag, placing the items it contained neatly beside her keyboard: the video-camera with its tape, the instructions I had received, and - trying hard to suppress my feelings of pride - the unopened Sanwa Bank envelope containing the emergency money which I had not needed. I hesitated for a while about the beautiful clothes she and Tomoko had lent me for my adventure, but then decided it could lead to trouble with our boss if such feminine items were seen lying around on Shizue's desk. I left them neatly folded as they were, and placed the bag on the floor where she would find it. I had no sooner settled behind my own desk and switched on my computer terminal than Shizue appeared, doing her best to suppress a yawn. "Good morning, Shizue," I said politely. "Morning, Kimiko! So you're back all right." "Did you have a pleasant weekend?" "Oh, yes! Wonderful! I can't say I enjoy coming to work this morning, though." She glanced at me with an air of superiority. "Did anything exciting happen to you?" "I had a very pleasant weekend, thank you," I said primly. "Well, I know you went on your journey because our friend in Osaka told us you had checked in with her. But she said you were calling from Kyoto." She had reached her desk by then and picked up the video-tape I had carefully placed there. "Well, I suppose the evidence is all on here. We'll take a look at it at lunchtime." She put it to one side with the camera, and briefly checked the envelope of cash before stuffing it into her handbag. I pretended to be busy with my computer screen and made no reply. Because of her duties in charge of the telephone Tomoko was unable to join Shizue and me at lunchtime, but she made arrangements with a friend in the administration department for the two of us to have the use of a viewing room. We carefully locked the door and settled down to see what the tape would show. I was desperately eager myself to see it, and it had cost me a huge struggle at home last night not to watch it privately before going to bed. Only the impossibility of keeping it from my mother had in the end prevented me. Of course I hoped that watching it would bring back all the excitement of the wonderful things David had done to me, but what I really longed to see was my encounter with the unknown man who had whipped and caned me so magnificently. What was he like, and what had he actually done to me? How had David reacted - had he found it arousing to see me used by another man? I did so hope the camera had somehow captured what I wanted to know. The video began of course with David and me clowning before the camera at the Silver Pavilion, filmed by the serious young bridegroom who was now, I hoped, learning to give true pleasure to his inexperienced little wife. Then Shizue was hugging me with excitement as the tape showed me stripping naked for David, sucking his cock, making love to him ... By agreement we fast-forwarded through my touristy shots of Pontocho, then settled down together while I relived the rest of the evening. We had forgotten to video our joyous after-dinner sucking and fucking, but David had carefully recorded the cat-o'-nine-tails flickering over my helplessly roped body. I was so glad he had filmed that! Now I would always have this precious memory of my first encounter with the whip, of how quickly I had become, as David had promised, addicted to its joys. From now on no love-making session would ever fully satisfy me unless it culminated in a whipping. Whipping! The very word made me tingle with pleasure. Shizue was almost as excited as I was, grabbing my arm as the lashes danced over my naked body and unable to take her eyes off the screen. "Was it wonderful? Was it _really_ wonderful?" she kept asking me, though she had only to watch to know the answer. But of course I knew there was much more to come. From time to time I caught a glimpse of the slim, black length of the cane, lying there so elegantly on the white sheet, quietly waiting its turn. At last the whipping scene ended and was succeeded by lovingly detailed shots of me lying bound, gagged and blindfolded on the bed, wriggling helplessly in the flood of sensation from my dildos and David's fiendishly ingenious nipple-clamps. Soon I would know what I longed to know. The video faded to black, then gradually started again with me still writhing in ecstasy. Off camera I heard David inviting the stranger to make use of me. He was coming. Soon I would see what sort of a man he was. Suddenly David was moving into range. For a moment I was puzzled: had the video somehow returned to an earlier scene? Then I understood: oh, how _dared_ he make fun of me like that, letting me think I was about to experience the ultimate in sexual subjection and then secretly taking me himself? But as the scene progressed I realised how good he had been to me: letting me experience the joy of complete self-abandonment to any man who wanted to use me, while sparing me the dangers which he had earlier so graphically described. And indeed it _was_ he who had taught me to relish the white-hot fire of the cane as I had so desperately begged him to do! I felt myself gasping with excitement, reliving the thrill of each stroke, as David brought the slim leather-covered instrument hissing down onto my willing flesh. Dear Shizue held me in her arms as the memory shuddered through me, almost causing me to faint as I had done from the power of the original. She knew from experience what I was feeling, I was sure of that now. Somehow, though, I was able to concentrate on the screen, and was rewarded by the answer to another question: after I had fainted David continued caning me for a while longer, then - yes, he took me from behind in the cunt, plunging his cock into the bubbling flood of juice. In my dreams something like that had certainly happened, and I was so glad that David had indeed taken his reward for all the happiness he had given me. He must have known that by continuing to torment and pleasure me while I was unconscious he was granting me dreams of exquisite glory. Shizue was still hugging me. "That was _fantastic_, Kimiko! Oh, you lucky, _lucky_ girl!" "Yes," I said in a very little voice, "I was so lucky. And I owe it all to you. And Tomoko. If you hadn't sent me on my Test ..." There was more to come, and we settled down to watch David, filmed from an odd angle, anointing my breasts and face with a golden stream of piss as I knelt in the shower to receive his gift. Then, after we skipped some more tourist shots at the Kiyomizu Temple, the tape cut straight to a scene of me tied to a tree as David again delighted me with his cat. It had been my first experience of outdoor nudity and sex. At the time I had been too excited to appreciate it properly, but I could see now that I had discovered something else that would be of great importance to my sexual life. At last came what I knew would be the final scene on the tape. I was in the tattooist's chair, blindfolded and lightly restrained, nude below the waist and receiving the gentle prickle of his needles. David finished with a close-up of the finished works imprinted on my crotch, then the screen was covered with fuzzy lines till the player detected the end of the recording and switched to a uniform blue. Shizue pulled me out of my seat and kissed me. "Oh, you were wonderful!" she cried. "You're the most marvellous submissive I've ever known! Just wait till I show this to the others. They won't be able to believe it!" She paused for a moment. "What does it feel like when you submit to the whip like that?" "I think you know yourself, Shizue," I said, too exhausted even to try to reply. "Well, yes - I do; but how does it feel for _you_?" "Wonderfully helpless, of course," I said slowly, trying to find the words, "and yet not helpless because I _choose_ to submit of my own free will; and ashamed, yet not ashamed because I have abandoned my right to a choice; afraid of what is going to be done to me, and yet not afraid because I adore and trust the beautiful instruments which are to torture me so lovingly. Above all the glorious pain and the incredible pleasure coming together in a sort of explosion ..." I struggled with words and ideas for a while, then suddenly thought of something my sister Fumiko had said. "It's as if I am being made complete. Being given perfect peace and harmony. The whip and the cock. Agony and ecstasy together. And I receive them both in total submission. Because I choose to. The rope only symbolising submission, because even without it I would submit. Giving my lover the pleasure of seeing me helpless, of hearing my screams." I thought a bit longer. "Harmony there too," I said. "Total subjection to the man who does these wonderful things to me; and complete freedom because it is my choice to submit." "Ohh," said Shizue in a long sigh of happiness, "isn't it _wonderful_ being a girl?" She hugged me again. "Time we got back. Let's go and tell Tomoko all about it." "Yes - I owe it all to her as well as to you." We were unusually busy that week. Our boss was calling a series of meetings to prepare for the 1994 budget which had to be finished by 31 December, and we three girls were in a rush making the arrangements and copying papers. I am not clever about these things but I was told that a company like ours which depended on exports had to struggle hard as the yen rose inexorably against the dollar. When there were no meetings to prepare for, Shizue and Tomoko mostly chattered about the holiday they were planning to take together in Europe the following year. Every time the yen went up the cost of their holiday went down, so I suppose it wasn't all wrong - though as I say I don't really understand. On Sunday, after my father had left for his golf match and I had finished breakfast, I told my mother I was going shopping. She was a little surprised as I seldom make special trips for that, preferring to buy what I need quickly in my lunch-hour. But I told her I needed some new clothes. "Will you be back for lunch, dear?" "Probably not. Don't worry about me. I'll call you when I'm on my way home." I did indeed need some new clothes. I had decided that my days of dreary long skirts and modest, self-effacing outfits were definitely over. I was ashamed to think now that once I had run away frightened from the very idea of showing myself off in pretty sexy clothes, embarrassed even when men looked approvingly at me in the miniskirt of my smart office uniform. My new life was now beginning! I had it on the authority of an expert that my bottom and thighs were beautiful. In bed I had often relived the moment when I had shyly shown them off to him on the train to Kyoto, and had enjoyed for the first time that delicious feeling of being delicately stroked by a man's admiring gaze. I already knew, though I had been hiding it from myself and - so far as I could - from everyone else as well, that I had a pretty little waist and firm plump breasts. I longed to taste again the shivery delight of showing them all off in public. That was to be my new style: provocative, teasing and sexy. Defiantly, I dressed in the suit I had worn for darling Megumi's wedding and the high-heeled shoes I had bought for my trip to Kyoto. They would do to start with, and would constantly remind me of the new life I intended to dress for. With my company season ticket I took the subway to the Ginza. In the big department stores and speciality shops there I would surely find what I was looking for. I soon found that I was, at least partly, mistaken. The clientele of stores like Mitsukoshi and Matsuya are mostly rather older than I am, and most of the clothes on display were too _okusan-teki_ for me - modest, matronly clothes for respectable married ladies to wear to lunches and PTA meetings. I should have swallowed my pride and, instead of thinking I could manage on my own, asked Shizue and Tomoko for advice on where to buy the sort of lovely sexy things I was sure they wore at parties and on dates. But one of the stores did have a small section of clothes for young people, and while I was there I thought I might as well look through the stock. Most of the so-called party dresses were the sort of thing the girl I used to be would wear to a wedding reception, to be cooed over by other sexually unenlightened girls, but they no longer interested me. At last I pulled off the rack something rather like the beautiful dress I had worn for dinner with David last Saturday. A little shop-assistant had been taking an interest in me and, when she saw at last what I was looking for, found me something else in a similar style. I took them both off to a changing-room and found that one of the two fitted quite well, even though the skirt needed shortening. Never mind: I would buy it - it was a start. Next I wandered off to look at blouses and skirts. I wanted so much to find a completely transparent blouse like the one I had been wearing - shyly at first, then with such enjoyment - when I caught David's eye, but clearly I was looking in the wrong shop. I would have to ask Shizue for advice on Monday. Unlike the girl in the store in Kyoto, the little assistant was giving me no hint that she secretly shared my sexual pleasures, and I could not find the words to explain that I was looking for something so shameless and pretty. Unable to help me, she gradually left me to myself. There were some nice short skirts in a clinging material, and shortening them further with my needle would be a simple matter. I chose a few to try. There was something else hanging on one of the circular racks which I kept rejecting and then coming back to. It was a miniskirt in narrow red and white checks, the material plastic-coated and shiny. At last I pulled it out and took a proper look at it. It had a wide belt which would fit snugly round my waist, and the thirty-five centimetres or so of skirt below the belt were in a wide A-line. It wasn't the sort of thing I thought I was looking for, but there would be no harm in trying it on. It fitted perfectly, the wide belt emphasising my waist and the flared skirt flowing stiffly round my bottom, falling to only a millimetre or two below my crotch. In the mirror the need to stand absolutely upright if my panties were not to peep out below the hem reminded me of the shiny white strip round my hips as I had teasingly shown myself off in the train to Kyoto. My heart began to beat and liquid to gather in my cunt. The skirt went well with the white sleeveless top I was wearing under my suit jacket, but I looked more like a naughty schoolgirl than the sophisticated temptress I so wanted to be. I sat down suddenly in front of the mirror on the changing-room stool. Of course the front of the skirt rode up stiffly to give a clear view to anyone opposite of my panties glimmering white through the mesh of my tights. I crossed my legs and tried to hold the hem of the skirt between my thighs. You could just about describe the result as modest. I uncrossed my legs again and thought how much nicer it was _not_ to be modest. I stood up and practised walking, bowing, granting glimpses of my crotch and bottom to an appreciative audience. I had to have it. "I am so glad you chose this, Miss," said my assistant when I rejoined her, "I thought it would suit you but I didn't want to press because it's not everyone's taste. But I'm sure it will be lovely on you. I wish I had a figure and legs like yours," she added longingly. She added the skirt to my other choices and began to remove the labels before folding then all lovingly into a carrier-bag. "Is there anything else I can help you with?" "I think I need a jacket to go with it, don't you?" "Oh, yes! White, don't you think?" We found a smart long-sleeved, waist-length jacket with gold buttons which fitted me perfectly. I handed over my Sumitomo Bank credit card and was soon walking pensively along the pavement outside the store. Suddenly I thought what a fool I was. What was I waiting for? My new life was supposed to begin now. I walked firmly back inside and entered one of the elevators. I asked the girl in charge, pretty in the dark-blue mini-dress, straw hat and white gloves and tights which were the store's uniform for that year, to take me to a floor where there was a ladies' room. Pushing my way through the crowd of middle-aged women with parcels I found an empty stall and locked the door. I have been here before, I suddenly thought to myself. I know what to do. Soon I was out again, my suit replaced by the white jacket and perky little check skirt. I looked at myself as best I could in one of the mirrors. What a shame I hadn't been able to find a transparent blouse! It wasn't only that I wanted to show off my breasts: I longed to feel the slinky material sliding lightly over my nipples whenever I moved. Still, the little waist-length white jacket and shiny miniskirt showed off my figure nicely. The girl in the mirror looked shyly excited and ready for discreet adventure. I freed my hair from its clips and let it ripple down my back. I took the series of escalators down to the ground floor: people going the other way were welcome to look up my wide, tiny skirt and admire my legs. I wanted them to: it felt lovely. Outside I walked happily with my carrier-bag through the crowds in the October sunshine, the cool air sliding deliciously over my exposed bottom and thighs. I crossed over and walked as far as the Yamaha music shop, then crossed again and examined the display in the windows of the Washington shoe store. In the glass I could see that I was attracting interested glances, but most of the people in this shopping area were women - and many of the younger ones were at least as demurely sexy as I. I walked back to the main crossing and, as I waited for the lights to change, bent down and pretended to adjust the ankle-chain on one shoe. "Great legs, eh?" I heard a man behind me say. I turned to give him a shy smile of thanks, but he was pointing out another girl to his friend. The lights changed and I crossed with the crowd, making for a store specialising in expensive accessories and jewellery. I walked aimlessly through the store, not really interested in buying anything but reluctant to admit that my shopping expedition was over. As I approached a jewellery counter a man looked at me with interest. I blushed slightly but demurely pretended not to notice, then quickly glanced at him. He was tall and broad-shouldered, wearing a fashionably casual shirt under his jacket. Beside him a girl in a white leather miniskirt and matching high-heeled ankle-boots was leaning over the counter eagerly examining the items on display; he was idly looking me over while waiting for his companion to make her mind up. The girl seemed to sense that she had lost his attention, and turned towards him. I suddenly recognised Shizue. There was nothing surprising in that, of course: Shizue loved shopping and this was the sort of expensive store she especially liked. "Oh, hello Kimiko!" she said, "Fancy seeing you here!" She turned to her companion. "This is my friend Kimiko from the office." I noticed that she did not introduce him to me. Was she jealous of his obvious interest in me? Or had she - I wondered with a sudden insight into her behaviour - only just met him and still did not know his name? I joined her at the counter and leant forward to look at the things she was choosing, not minding - no, enjoying - the way my stiff skirt slid up my hips giving the man behind me a clear view of my panties. "You _are_ looking nice today, Kimiko." "Thank you. I've been buying new clothes." "Yes, I can see that!" On an impulse she turned to face her companion, making me do the same. She slid her arm round my waist and lowered her knees slightly till the waistbands of our skirts were aligned. She ran her free hand lightly down her little white skirt and then down my checked plastic one. "Look!" she said coquettishly, "Kimiko's miniskirt is even shorter than mine! Doesn't she look pretty! Which of us do you like better?" "Hurry it up, Shizue," he grunted at her. "Yes, of course - I'm sorry." She turned back to the counter. "I'd like this one," she said at last. She picked a little pearl brooch decorated with gold filigree from the velvet-lined tray on which the assistant had laid out the items she had asked to see. Her companion handed over a wad of cash. The shop assistant bowed low and hunted for a box and wrapping materials. "Why don't you ask her to come along too?" growled Shizue's friend as we waited. Shizue put her arm round my waist again. "Oh yes - do join us!" she said excitedly. "We're just going to a hotel together to - you know -" she became a little confused and blushed slightly "- have some fun, and it would be lovely to make it a threesome. Why don't you come? You know you'd enjoy it and you're looking _so_ pretty today!" As I had guessed, the man was one of Shizue's casual lovers and the brooch was to be her reward for her sexual services. I remembered with embarrassment how I had prudishly criticised her activities only a few weeks ago. But that was before Megumi's wedding, before my life had totally changed. Now I had the chance to make it up to her. "Yes, of course!" I said firmly. "That would be so nice!" I freed myself from Shizue's embrace and put my hand lightly on the man's sleeve. "I'd _love_ to join you, if you really want me and I wouldn't be in the way ..." I said pleadingly. "Come on, then," he said. The assistant was trying to attract Shizue's attention. Eagerly she stowed the little package away in her handbag while the man scooped the change off the tray on which it was being offered to him. We caught a taxi not far from the store. We two girls sat in the back on either side of our companion. Of course there was too little room for me to cross my legs or even to adjust my skirt after scrambling into the seat, so he had a clear view of almost everything below my waist. It felt wonderfully exciting to be embarking on a new sexual adventure with such a virile man. I leant forward and glanced across at Shizue. When she looked at me I could see her eyes dancing with joy. I put my hand on the man's arm again. "Oh, this is such fun!" I said. "Thank you so much for inviting me." I put my lips close to his ear and added softly, "When I saw you looking at me like that - you know, in the store - it made me tingle all over. I'm so glad I please you ..." He grunted, and gave instructions to the driver. We had left the Ginza by the Yurakucho tunnel and taken the broad avenue which circles the Imperial Palace grounds, before turning left past the National Theatre. Now we were weaving through a tangle of narrow streets in the Akasaka area. There were bars and clubs, some already open in the mid-afternoon. As the taxi slowed to a halt in the traffic I idly watched a girl walking towards us: she was wearing just a casual top and jeans but there was something about her self-confident stride and the swing of her hips that suggested sexual sophistication. She suddenly turned into an entrance. By craning my neck I could just read the sign over the door: "The Pink Pussycat"; and underneath "Private Club: Members Only". So she worked there, the lucky girl: what fun she must have! I imagined her happily showing herself off as she danced naked on a little stage; or coyly welcoming guests and serving them drinks, wearing nothing but heels and a tiny sparkling g-string perhaps ... I had never been inside such an establishment, but I longed to see what went on there - and, I could now freely admit to myself, to take part. I must find a lover who would introduce me. The taxi stopped outside a small, discreet hotel. The driver pulled the lever which flung open the back door and the three of us scrambled out. There was no one in the little lobby, but a big screen held pictures of the hotel's rooms, those which were free illuminated. The man we were to share as our lover made his choice and inserted a credit card into the machine. A computer message told us to go to the third floor, and the light behind the picture was switched off. My little checked skirt was definitely a success! He told Shizue to undress completely, but I was to keep my skirt on even though I was to be otherwise naked. He lay on his back on the big bed and positioned my cunt over his mouth, his face completely buried in the wide folds of my tiny skirt and his strong hands holding me by the waist and hips so he could make me rise and fall over his tongue as he wished. Shizue took possession of his erect cock, sucking and licking it with expert skill. After a while he told us to exchange places, and now it was Shizue's turn to squat over his face, letting out shrill cries of joy as his tongue penetrated her. I took my time over his cock, sucking it carefully before swallowing it deep into my throat - as Bob had taught me when I was sucking my very first cock. It felt so good lodged firmly inside me: I wished I could keep it there, loving and caring for it till it was ready to come. But our lover had other ideas, and pushing me to one side took Shizue first. She was clearly very adept at this sort of sexual encounter, responding rapidly to his sudden changes of tempo and position. She was so pretty to watch, her perfect figure and long legs writhing and wriggling on the bed, giving him every pleasure she could. At last he swung her onto her back and pushed her legs right up against her chest; then, when she was almost folded in two, he thrust his cock once more into her eagerly dripping cunt and began to piston her rapidly. She jerked to and fro on the bed, her breasts slapping and her hands gripping the sheet in her excitement as she whimpered cries of happiness. Suddenly he reached his climax, pulling out of her just in time and covering her breasts with gobbets of cum. I took my skirt off and, now fully naked at last, joined the others in the shower. Shizue suggested that, as it would clearly take a little time before our lover was ready to fuck again, we should stimulate him with a short lesbian display. I blushed a little at that: like most girls I had done some experimenting at school, but it had gone no further than clumsy kisses and gentle tickling of a friend's breasts and bottom. For a while I had fancied myself in love with my best friend Megumi, and had done everything I could to please her; she would sometimes reward me by letting me snuggle up against her while her clever fingers stroked my sensitive breasts and probed daringly inside my knickers. But she had left school a year earlier than me and no one else had taken her place. I looked shyly at Shizue. "Yes, if you like ... but you'll have to show me what to do ..." Quickly she arranged me on my back with my legs spread, and soon I felt her clever tongue digging into my cunt. I gasped with pleasure and begged to be allowed to do the same to her. We scrambled into an untidy 69 position and I began to lick the salmon-pink flesh of her cunt, enjoying the combined aroma of the hotel's scented shower-soap and the exhilarating smell of her salty cunt-juice mixed lightly with sweat. She was expertly tonguing my clitoris, my little love-button, and I was wondering if I dared surprise her by licking her sweet pink anus, when I felt myself being roughly pulled away from her. It was as well that I had watched Shizue being fucked first, as it had given me an idea of what he liked. He obviously had a fairly standard repertoire. He made me suck him till he nearly came; then, when he had got himself under control again, entered my cunt from every possible different angle and position. At last I too was folded into half while he leant against my thighs and pistoned me vigorously. I gasped and wept in my joy, begging him not to stop, crying "I'm coming! I'm coming!" At the last moment I opened my mouth in case he wanted to shoot for it; but it was my breasts and chin which were baptised by his hot sperm. I dabbled my fingers in the cum and licked them. Shizue hugged me as he went first to the shower-room. "Oh, wasn't that _fun_!" she cried, her eyes sparkling. I nodded. It had indeed been fun - even though no one had suggested enhancing it with a whipping - and I could now understand why Shizue was so fond of spending her spare time with such anonymous lovers. "Especially when we were together," I said politely. Her fingers began to stroke my breasts and tweak my nipples. I shivered with pleasure. "Your breasts are very sensitive, aren't they?" she said. "I must remember that. Have you ever used nipple-clamps?" "No, not yet ..." I replied cautiously, wondering what exquisite torment she had in mind for me. But our time in the hotel was running out, and there were only a few minutes left for us girls to have our turn in the shower-room. Later, as we were dressed and about to leave, he offered me money. I was reluctant to accept it, but Shizue insisted I did. It still didn't feel right: I wanted to give myself to be used by anyone who fancied me, not to sell something that gave me so much happiness. I decided to put the money towards the cost of the clothes I had bought. Then it would be only a sort of expenses - the cost of decorating myself in ways that gave a man pleasure and made him want to use me. Even so it was exciting to think that in accepting his money I had formally become a prostitute. I remembered with shame that I had accused Shizue of being that only a few weeks ago. Now I was one too, and loving it as much as she did. I would make it up to her by asking her advice on how to become the sexiest - well, yes, say it, Kimiko! - the sexiest _prostitute_ any girl had ever been. How could a girl possibly want to be anything else? Perhaps I was on my way to being allowed to do the things I imagined that pretty girl glimpsed on the street was now doing to the members of her exciting private club. Maybe one day I could meet her - ask her to teach me ... train me to be the best and most desired performer in her club ... "Thank you, that was _so_ lovely," I said as we parted. "Please fuck me again soon." He just grunted and took Shizue off in a taxi, leaving me to make my own way to Akasaka Mitsuke subway station. At first I sat meekly in the train as I usually did, knees together and hands demurely folded in my lap in a hopeless attempt to stop men looking up my skirt. Then I remembered: all that had changed. I flagrantly crossed my legs and let them admire me as much as they liked. After all, I told myself defiantly, my thighs and bottom were well worth looking at. An expert had told me so; and I still bore the traces of another man who had just shown me it was true. "Is that new, dear? Very nice," said my mother vaguely as I slid open the front door and entered the house with the usual greeting of return, "but isn't it a little, you know, short to be really practical?" "Leave her alone, mother," said my sister Fumiko, the corner of her mouth occupied with one of her endless Seven Stars cigarettes. She often looked in on Sunday evening, bringing a sack of dirty laundry and timing her visits for when she knew our father would still not be back from his golf. "She's starting a new life, aren't you Kimiko?" "May I use the bath, mother? Is it ready?" I asked. "Yes, you might as well. Your father won't be back for hours." In the little anteroom I scrubbed myself clean, then sat in the fresh hot water hoping it would cleanse me of any remaining trace of masculine contact. On the shelf stood a little teapot which I had smuggled into the room on my return from Kyoto. No one had yet spotted it or wondered what it was doing there. Before drying myself I filled it with warm water and carried out my nightly practice, holding it as high above my head as I could and directing the thin jet at my open mouth. Aiming was easy enough - and in any case was not my part of the business. The difficulty was training myself to drink as my mouth filled, instead of letting the water accumulate till it overflowed or choked me. I was beginning to get the trick of it though, and hoped that I would be able to swallow smoothly and calmly next time I met a man who wanted to piss into my mouth. I didn't feel like putting on one of my new miniskirts and attracting my mother's comments, but nor did I want to wear, ever again, the sort of boring modest skirt belonging to my old life. So for once I pulled a _yukata_, a Japanese cotton bathrobe, out of my closet and tied it tightly round my clean body. The constriction of the _obi_ sash stirred faint memories, but tracing and enjoying them could wait till I was alone in bed. After dinner, while my mother was busy in the kitchen, refusing any help from us, Fumiko lit another cigarette and looked at me in silence. "So, how have things been with you since we last talked?" she said finally. "Oh, all right," I said with a nervous laugh. She drew deeply on her cigarette. "Well, you don't have to tell me of course, but considering how frank you were last time we talked ... about your sex-life, and wanting my advice and everything ..." I gazed at her in silence, finding it impossible to start. She went on smoking. "How was last week-end?" "Oh, _wonderful_!" "Mother said it was just a business trip, serving out papers at a company meeting. That doesn't sound all that wonderful." Again I could not find the way in. I wanted to share confidences with my sister, who had been so wise and kind last time, but somehow the door was locked. She tried again. "So really you were with a lover?" I nodded eagerly. "Good. And what did you do together? Was it nice?" "Oh, it was _heavenly_!" At last I could talk, and told her the whole story - well, not that it was supposed to be a Test set by Shizue and Tomoko to see if I was fit to enter their circle, but how I had invented the story of the meeting and had let myself be picked up on the train, how I had stayed with David in his hotel ... I felt shy about telling her more than that, but once I had started I couldn't stop. I told her how he had bound me and whipped me. I described the way he had left me helpless to be used by any man who wanted me, and I'm afraid I dramatised things a little by not revealing that I now knew the stranger had been no stranger after all. I could tell that she was impressed, and because I wanted to go on impressing her I told her all about the whipping in the open air tied to a tree, with anyone watching who wanted to ... and even how we had pissed in each other's mouths. "Gods, you are making progress!" she said. She lit another cigarette and drew on it a couple of times, then added casually, "So that's what that little teapot is doing in the bathroom. I did wonder." "Oh, Fumiko!" I said, blushing furiously and too confused to pretend ignorance, "however did you guess?" "Well, we all have to practice somehow. Have you learnt how to swallow a cock yet?" "Yes." "Right down?" I nodded. "Good. It looks as if my little sister is catching up fast. And these sexy new clothes - they're to catch the next lover, I suppose? Do you think they'll work?" I nodded again, smiling happily. "You mean, they already have?" She looked closely at my delighted face. "What, this afternoon? You just put on that ridiculous little skirt and walked down the street and found a lover straightaway?" I hugged my knees and rocked on my cushion, nodding in an ecstasy of happiness. "Well I must say, Kimi-chan, you _have_ been making progress!" I scrambled off my cushion and sat with my head on her knees. "I owe it all to you," I said. "You told me, if it feels right, it is right. And ohh, it feels _so_ right!" "Well, I am pleased for you. I'll be asking _you_ for advice next!" I giggled, but resisted the temptation to make a pert reply to my elder sister. "The one thing that bothers me," I said, "is whether our mother knows about this change in me. Or should know. I mean, I'll be going out much more now than I used to. I don't want to tell her lies again. I expect she'll guess that I have a steady boyfriend, and that's all right as an excuse, but then she'll start asking me about him, trying to find out if he's a suitable husband ..." "Don't worry. I think she knows much more than you think, and doesn't mind knowing just so long as she doesn't _need_ to know ..." That made sense. "If you like, I'll let her know you're a popular girl nowadays with lots of friends, and they keep inviting you to parties ... that will please her, and then she won't fuss if you're out late or she sees you going out in sexy clothes." "Oh, _thank_ you, Fumi-chan, you're such a wonderful sister to me ..." Somehow neither of us thought to ask how to handle our father. There were times when I wondered if he even knew who I was. [Next in Part 14: Chapter XIV: The Second Test] For complete series so far see /files/Authors/Bob_Williams