Note: This story was dynamically reformatted for online reading convenience.
 
 It seemed a little too convenient for such a flyer to happen to be nearby
at the exact moment we needed guidance.    As it turned out it was no
coincidence at all.  Just inside the cover was a yellow Post-It note.

   "Hey guys, it seemed like a good time to go.  This flyer is from about
20 years ago, but should Still give you some ideas about what you can do
in  DarkerBreeze.  Sorry again to fuck and run.  Derek."

   I brought the flyer to you and shared my concerns.  You addressed them,
saying, "Maybe he had somewhere he had to be?  Or maybe he was just getting
uncomfortable and wanted to give us all some space?  As for the antiquated
flyer, they probably just don't make flyers for it any more.  Clearly they
have all the business they need, and Derek is a testament to their new
method of finding potential customers."

   This all made perfect sense to me, and yet I couldn't shake the feeling
that there was something more going on.  Derek just happened to be bringing
with him a flyer from twenty years ago in case he had to run without saying
goodbye?  Derek just *happened* to have Post-It notes and a pen with him?  

   Reading my thoughts again, you said, "You're just being overly
paranoid.  He probably ran off into an office nearby that we just don't
know about, got the flyer, wrote the note and came back.  Obviously we were
a little to preoccupied to really pay any attention to what he was doing."
 

   That seemed reasonable.  The feeling remained though.

   ----

   I looked again at the flyer itself; discarding the suspect note onto the
grass.  The front looked almost like something out of an old comic book. 
It read "DarkerBreeze!!  Youre premiere amusement and abusement park!"  and
had a cartoon of a woman in stocks being whipped by a muscular bald man. 
Unfolding it, I saw different events explained and advertised; many
accompanied by cartoons of a similar style to the front.

   The first to catch my eye were the "Strip (and Whip!) Poker
Tournaments!"

   "Held every Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday at 4 PM.  It's like the
strip poker you know and love....with a DarkerBreeze twist!  Each table has
six players, and cards are played as per five-card-draw rules.  One player
wins the hand, the rest all remove an article of clothing (NOTE- no more
than five articles of clothing may be worn by a player at the start of the
game).   

   Here's the DarkerBreeze twist!  After a player has lost all of their
clothing, they may opt to continue, but now they will be whipped by the
winning player.  Whipping starts at two, and increases in increments of two
(ie, 2, 4, 6, 8..etc).  The player may continue for as long as they like or
are able to.  The winner is the last player at the table, who then advances
to the next round

   *Hardcore games now held on Saturdays only*"

   -------

   "If whipping is the standard game, I don't think I want to know what the
hardcore games involve," you mentioned.

   "You know what?  I'm not sure I do either; although it does say we can
inquire at the gift shop for more information.  This was twenty years ago
though.  If they are even still playing I would guess the times and days
have changed."

   "Good point," you said.  "What else is there?"

   I read on.

   "Rent-a-slave!

   Been staring at your guide all day but wanting more?  Wishing they would
crawl across the floor to your feet and obey your every command?  NOW YOU
CAN!  Offered by the hour or by the day, you can now rent out a slave to be
your guide and so much more!  And remember...they'll NEVER say no.

   Or perhaps you are the submissive type?  Looking for a guide to whip you
into shape?  We have just the Dom/Domme for you!

   For more information about either option visit our Gift Shop."

   "And to think we could have rented Jill," you said,
not-quite-wistfully.  "Next."

   "Sex and the City Event!

   The second Wednesday of every month we will be hosting a special photo
event (that thankfully has nothing to do with that terrible show!!). 
Couples will have be issued a digital camera and be given five hours to
travel the city and be naughty.  The goal is to take 8 photos of the two of
you being naughty in various public places.  Upon returning points will be
awarded to each picture based on creativity of poses and location; degree
of exposure; and 'fun factor.'  The top placing teams will be awarded cash
or other preannounced prizes.

   Come to the Gift Shop to sign up!"

   I paused and my eyes narrowed.  "That's wrong."

   "Are you kidding me?"  you asked.  "That sounds fantastic!"

   "No...that's wrong,"  I said slowly.  "All wrong.  Sex and the City
wasn't on TV twenty years ago.  Digital cameras weren't at all common then
either.  This flyer isn't from twenty years ago."

   "Uh.  Ok.  That doesn't make any sense at all.  Why would he give us a
new flyer and tell us it was old?  So that we would assume none of this
still existed?  I'm so confused."

   "Me too.  But like the flyer keeps saying, 'if you have any
questions..."

   "...visit our Gift Shop,"  you finished.  "I guess we'd better head
there."

   "I guess we'd better."

   -----

   From our current vantage point I could see only two exits from the dog
park: the one through which we had entered, and another set of double doors
further down the right-hand side.  Naked as the day we were born, we walked
toward the doors with that one goal in mind.  So intent were we that we
ignored everyone we passed; which in retrospect may have been a mistake as
they could have probably given us directions.  Then again, the man/woman
couple both on their hands and knees with their dogs behind them may not
have had any usual information.   
The doors yawned open at our push and emptied into another large
cavern.  'Large' was of course a relative term being underground; it was
about the size of an average mall food court.  It had a similar layout as
well, with different 'stores' creating a perimeter around an open space. 

In the center of this openness was a large wooden stages.

   You too were examining the stage.  "I can only imagine what kind of
plays they would do down here."

   I wasn't sure if you were joking, but I was fairly sure it wasn't for
plays.  Still, I had to try.  "Probably some pretty crazy ones.  Wanna do
one later?"

   "Mmhmm," you replied distractedly.  "Over there."

   You gestured and I saw a neon sign glowing, announcing that we had found
"The Gift Shop."  I nodded curtly and set off toward it.  We had barely
begun walking before you stopped short and turned to better view the store
on our right.

   "Oh my God...do you think...?" you muttered.

   Turning back to look at what had so captivated your attention, I
followed your gaze to a sign that read "Amie's Enchanting Enemas!"  and
beneath it, "Whether before the play or the play itself, nothing beats a
warm sudsy feeling in your bottom!"  There were no windows on the lower
level, but there were two large picture windows on the second floor so that
exhibitionists and voyeurs could have their fun too.

   The sight of this and its implications were not enough to deter me.  "I
don't know what to think.  All I know is we need to get to the gift shop."

   We resumed walking, and while I was still hell-bent on my goal, I could
see from the corner of my eye you glancing back at the shop more than
once.  There would be time enough for that later though.  We had arrived.

   --------

   Having worked in a retail store previously I had some notion of how to
arrange product to make a customer more interested in making a purchase. 
Admittedly I had never given much thought to how such things would
translate in a subterranean-no-rules-sexual-amusement park.  It simply
wasn't something that came up very often.  Or ever, for that matter.  That
being said I guess I didn't really know what to expect walking into the
gift shop other.  Since everything we had thus far come upon basically been
just people having sex, I hadn't stopped to consider the possibility of
actual business being conducted down here.

   Walking in past a rack of lingerie on either side we entered at last. 
Other than being rather cramped (space is at a premium in the underworld),
it didn't look all that different than a regular adult movie and toy
store.  A couple minor but notable differences could be seen.  Past the
racks of lingerie on our right there were racks of the different costumes
about which we had heard earlier, complete with  a dressing room for the
rare individual that wanted privacy.  On the other side there was a set-up
that resembled a photo studio, with a stand up sign advertising photoshoots
for you and your group (with smaller print below I couldn't see from where
I was standing).  The store also curved around back and probably had more
items for purchase/rent.  All of this was taken in peripherally, though, as
I marched up the desk in the middle.

   Behind this cashier's kiosk were a man and a woman, both of which
appeared to be in their late 40s/early 50s.  Like us, both were completely
nude; although they both sported wedding rings which led me to believe they
were together.

   The woman looked up at me over her glasses.  "Hello.  Did you two have a
question about something?"

   I couldn't think of how to phrase it right, but you took the lead.  "We
are looking for our friends.  We were just wondering if maybe you had seen
them."

   "Well I think maybe your guide could best help you with that.  Why don't
you ask them?"

   "Well that's a part of the problem," I explained.  "Our guide is one of
the ones missing.  Could you maybe page her or something?  Her name's
Jill."

   Turning to look over her shoulder, she addressed her husband.  "Bob
could you page Jill for us?  She's the guide for these folks."

   Bob turned to face us with a strange look on his face.  "We don't have
any guides name Jill here.  Are you sure you heard right?"

   "Um, yeah, I mean quite sure.  She had been our guide the whole day
until a little while ago when we got separated."  The look of confusion and
sheer abandonment on my face must have radiated clearly, but no help was
being given.

   "Hmm," said Bob.  "My wife and I have run this shop for the last fifteen
years or and I don't think we've had a Jill guide in maybe....5 or 6 years
now.  Who were the other friends you were looking for?"

   "Well there was Amie, who works at TGI Thighhighs, and Derek.  He was
the one that initially found us up on the log flume."

   "Hmm well I think I know who Amie is; sweetheart, innocent type.  Diane,
does Derek do scouting now?

   "Yes I think he's been doing that more lately."  Diane turned to address
us.  "Derek is the proprietor of NightBreeze."