You might be getting old if:  (NOTE LARGE TYPE USED SO YOU DO NOT
HAVE GET YOUR READING GLASSES)
 You might be getting old if: Getting a little action means your
prune juice is working.
You might be getting old if: Your birthday candles cost more than
your cake.
You might be getting old if: You feel like the morning after when
you haven't been anywhere.
You might be getting old if: Your broad mind and narrow waist
have exchanged places.
You might be getting old if: You stop to think and sometimes
forget to start again.
You might be getting old if: a hair on your head worth two in
your brush.
You might be getting old if: you go to bed to make mad passionate
sleep.
 You might be getting old if: your idea of getting enough
exercise is a good brisk sit followed by a nice long nap.
You might be getting old if: you have forgotten what your feet
look like.
You might be getting old if: your back goes out more than you do.
You might be getting old if: hitting the road means just that and
there is no one around to help you back up.
You might be getting old if: you have given up all your bad
habits and you still feel like shit.
You might be getting old if: you have a choice between two
temptations and you choose the one that will get you home in time
to watch Matlock.
You might be getting old if: your spouse tells you that you have
changed from a stud to a dud.
You might be getting old if: you can't remember the last time you
had really great sex or why you came into the bedroom.
You might be getting old if: the morning after lasts all day.
You might be getting old if: one scotch, one bourbon, one beer
means you are passed out on the floor.
 You might be getting old if: today is the tomorrow you worried
about yesterday.
You might be getting old if: a night out is followed by a day in
bed.
You might be getting old if: the only chippendales your are
interested in are in an antique store.
You might be getting old if: you still chase women but you can't
remember why and if you catch one you can't remember what to do.
You might be getting old if: your arms are not long enough to
read the newspaper.
You might be getting old if: if you think twitter is something
that birds do.
You might be getting old if: you can remember when the air was
clean and sex was dirty.
You might be getting old if:  oral sex now means that you just
talk about it.
You might be getting old if: you don't do a 69 because there is
no way you are going to do that 68 more times.
You might be getting old if: a three way is something you plug
into an outlet instead something you do in bed.
You might be getting old if: 69 is now just the number before 70.
You might be getting old if: your teeth are like stars, they come
out at night.
You might be getting old if: your favorite night spot is in font
of the TV set.
You might be getting old if: you fall asleep during Jay Leno's
monologue and wake up to Al Roker doing the weather.
You might be getting old if: caution is the only thing you
exercise.
You might be getting old if: everything has started to wear out,
fall out, or spread out.
You might be getting old if: your knees buckle when your belt
won't.
You might be getting old if: you say "I remember when..." and
then forget what the hell you were going to say.
You might be getting old if: Black and White was a TV set not the
color of the couple next door.
You might be getting old if: being gay meant that you were happy.
You might be getting old if: when people tease you about your
age, you beat them with your cane.
You might be getting old if: get excited about the new flavor of
bran flakes.
You might be getting old if: you have stopped feeling your oats
and started feeling you corns.
You might be getting old if: shingles are not just something on
the roof but that burning pain on your back.
You might be getting old if: the last 50 yard dash you did was to
the restroom.
You might be getting old if: you remember when you did not have
to lock up  your car, house or your daughter.
You might be getting old if: your Bowflex is now just another
hanger for your clothes.
You might be getting old if: you joined a health club but you'r
too tired to drive there.
You might be getting old if: you walk the dog in your Hoveround
power chair.
You might be getting old if: you get winded playing cards.
You might be getting old if: you were a horse, they would have
shot you by now.
You might be getting old if: you can remember all the words to
Gilligan's Island but can't find your reading glasses because
they are on your forehead.
You might be getting old if: you get lost on a trip down memory
lane.
You might be getting old if: if your aching bones are better
forecasting the weather than Al Roker.
You might be getting old if: gun control meant you hit what you
were shooting at.
  You might be getting old if: a swinger  was a child in a swing.
You might be getting old if: you finally found the meaning of
life but forgot what the hell it was.
You might be getting old if: they hold your high school reunion
at the graveyard next year.
Getting old is not for sissies, I know I am there. Let me know
what you thought of this @ wordweaver69@gmail.com