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 Memories...  from Aprilfirez ( AprilFirez@yahoo.com )

   Even though I think of my ex-boyfriend often, last night was one of
those times that I was really feeling the longing of missing him.  I had
been listening to the radio at work, dialed into a country station and I
don't know if it was just the couple of songs that came on or if it was
just my frame of mind at the time, maybe both.  But anyway, I had started
to think about him in a way I had wished he was with me and I could talk to
him right then.  I admit, I love my fiancée with all my heart but at the
same time I do miss my ex.  They are definitely two different people, my
fiancée makes me feel loved and safe, he is dependable, trustworthy, and
shows me how much he loves me everyday.  My ex on the other had made me
feel alive and sexy, he was kinky, wild, and adventurous.  Both of them
have there bad qualities to, but I'm not going to get into those right now,
all I'm going to say is that I ended up with the better of the two.  I love
my fiancée but at the same time I still have feelings for my ex, it's kind
of one of those things that on nights like last night tears your heart into
pieces.  One of my memories is a night that my ex and I were driving back
from a camping trip with his family.  It had been a long boring drive and I
had slept most of it and couldn't sleep anymore.  My boy friend was driving
and I told him how bored I was.  We couldn't stop because we were following
his mother and his brother, he came up with a wild idea.  He said we could
still have some fun while driving, he told me he would love to see me naked
right then.  Just sitting there next to him in the car naked would help him
stay awake, and since I was so bored that if I wanted to I could play with
myself to have some fun, is what he told me.  At first I thought to myself
that he was crazy, I mean we were in a car on the interstate following his
mom and brother in another truck.  But then as my mind went over the
possibilities, I started to realize that it was night time, dark with very
little traffic around us, and the windows on his car were a little tinted
so it would be hard to actually see in.  And the idea of just being naked
sort of out in the open was exciting.  Even though I was very nervous about
the whole thing, with my boyfriend encouraging me, I took off all my cloths
slowly one piece at a time.  It's hard to describe, being naked in a place
you probably shouldn't be was exciting, but at the same time felt real
good, almost natural.  I did what he told me to and started to touch
myself, feeling very wonderful.  After a bit my boyfriend was starting to
squirm and actually looked uncomfortable sitting there next to me.  I knew
this was his idea, but I asked him if this was bothering him.  He told me
no, he was enjoying it very much but the reaction it was having on him had
made him uncomfortable as he sort of motioned to his crotch.  He was
wearing jeans, and the bulge in his pants was noticeable and I understood
then what he was talking about.  Well I was turned on and neither of us
wanted me to get dressed again.  I reached over and tried to open his
pants, but with the steering wheel and the angle of the seat I couldn't get
is fly open.  So to help me, he put the car onto cruise control then slid
his seat all the way back and scooted his butt forward a bit.  I managed to
undo the button and open his zipper.  I had to reach into his underwear and
pull his shaft and balls out to free them from there confines.  As I
grasped his shaft and freed it he let out a long sigh of relief.  I
couldn't help it but he felt real good in my hand and I didn't want to let
it go, so I didn't.  Instead I just held on enjoying the feel of his warm
smooth skin in my hand.  He never asked me to, but I kept getting more and
more turn on and despite knowing the dangers (have you seen the movie "The
World According to Garp" with Robin Williams) I leaned over and with my
mouth salivating I pulled his shaft between my lips.  I was sucking his
shaft at 70 miles per hour and enjoying every minute of it.  After about
ten minutes of this, he was extremely hard and with his had moving across
my back down to my ass and his fingers tickling I was even more turned on.
I sat up and remembering we were in a moving car that he was driving I was
actually impressed that not only didn't he cum with what I was doing to
him, but I don't think I felt him swerve once.  I commented to him on how
impressed I was that he didn't cum and at the same time asked him if there
was anything wrong.  He just told me that he was enjoying it very much but
with having to concentrate on the road he wasn't able to cum for me.  I was
so hot by then all I wanted him to do was pull over and fuck me, but we
couldn't, not with out his family noticing and stopping to stay together.
But I couldn't help it, I wanted to feel him inside me.  I asked him if I
climbed onto his lap if he could keep driving with out getting us into an
accident.  With a big smile on his face he said he managed to drive
straight while I had my head in his lap.  He tilted the steering wheel down
a little making more room and said lets try.  I knew this was crazy and
very dangerous but I had confidence in him and I needed to feel him inside
me.  I crawled onto his lap strattaling his legs, facing him, he put his
chin on my shoulder to look over me while driving and I grabbed his shaft
holding it to my very wet pussy and let him slip into me as I lowered
myself onto his hard shaft.  He had one hand on the steering wheel as the
other wrapped around me pulling me close to him.  He was warm and wonderful
feeling next to my naked skin.  Having him all the way inside me I just sat
there enjoying the feel as I watched to make sure his driving was under
control.  It was almost indescribable how wonderful he felt inside me right
then, I swear I could feel his heart beat through his shaft inside me.  I
just hugged him enjoying the feeling of him inside me and being so close to
him.  I sat there for the longest time, enjoying him and also trying to
overcome the wonderful feelings to try and pay attention to his driving.  I
honestly couldn't concentrate long enough to actually know if he was
swerving or anything, after a bit of trying to see I just stopped caring.
With his hand solidly on my back holding me tight I started to move, moving
my hips forward and back feeling his shaft move inside me was beyond
describable, it was just heaven.  I was pressed hard to him, his shaft deep
inside me and being pressed so tight to him while he was in a sitting
position had my clit rubbing against his pelvis as I moved back and forth.
It was almost surreal, watching the scenery moving by, being totally naked
in such an open place, feeling the heat we were making between us.  I
orgasmed three times before I realized he was still rock hard and hadn't
cum yet.  I was super turned on and hot, I leaned my head down whispering
into his ear how hot I was and how wonderful he felt, pressing myself even
harder to him I let my tongue wander around and into his ear.  I could feel
his body shudder as I did that and his hand moved down my back to my ass
and down farther.  I could feel his fingers tickling my pussy while wrapped
around his shaft.  I kept moving back and forth, and when I felt him pull
his wet finger back up a little and press against my anus I completely lost
it.  I instantly orgasmed hard, clamping down onto him solid.  And that's
when I felt him surge and explode inside me and I was gone again.  When I
came to my senses I could still feel him inside me his cock surging as he
shot load after load inside me.  Feeling him cum inside me brought me back
to my senses really fast with a worry of going to far letting him cum
inside me.  In the past we used a condom or spermacide of some sort or if
all else failed he would just pull out before he came.  But this time I
just held on with both my arms wrapped around him as he emptied himself
inside me.  We were both quiet after that, I felt him get soft inside me
and I slipped off of him.  Looking into his eyes we both knew what just
happened and I could see the worry on his face.  I turned and reached into
the back seat pulling out one of our sleeping bags.  Both because I was
impressed with how long he lasted and also to try and relieve his worry
about loosing control and cumming inside me, with a perky attitude I told
him how impressed I was that he lasted so long and that the whole thing was
super hot.  I swear I was on his lap for more than an hour.  He said he
couldn't help it, he lasted so long because he had to concentrate on the
road, on his driving.  Being totally spent I didn't bother getting dressed
and just laid down pulling the sleeping bag over both of us, and with my
head on his lap and his cock in my hand I fell asleep.  He woke me up just
before the sun came up as we followed his brother onto a freeway exit to
pull into a gas station to refuel.  It was a mad dash to find my cloths and
get dressed before we pulled up to the pump and were greeted by his mother
at the gas station.  This was one of the kinkiest things I have ever done
and also one of my fondest memories of making love with him.  Even though
it was sort of kinky and wild I felt so close to him, so much love for him.
It's things like this, that I remember and miss about him, the closeness I
felt to him, how much he made me feel alive.  When I think about him, even
though I know he has married and has a new life with out me, and I am
engaged being very much in love, I wonder what I would do if he ever came
back and wanted to get together.  The thought both excites me and scares
me. I know I am much better off with my fiancée then I would have been with
him but that doesn't change the way I feel, the longing for him.  It's
these feelings that has my heart torn.  But I guess I shouldn't worry about
it, like I said he does have his own life now with out me and other then a
random rare e-mail I seldom hear from him.  It's not like he will ever come
back asking for me.  I just hate feeling this way.  Is this what they call
a bitter sweet memory?