Death by Fucking
© 2003 by Andrew Wiggin
Chapter 3 Passion or
We were lying in bed in Deirdre’s hotel room recovering from a bout of
mind-blowing liberating sex, at least from my point of view. I had
wanted to make slow sensuous love to this woman who had suddenly become the
focus of my life. Instead I lost my head and it turned into a long hard
monkey fuck.
It was a mistake. I don’t know what happened. One minute I was this
guy trying desperately to impress the woman of his dreams. The next
minute I was primal man staking his claim on Eve in the Garden of Eden.
Is it right to want someone that much? Is it healthy? What have I
gotten myself into? Christ, the woman is going to be gone in two weeks
never to be seen again.
I told her this afternoon when I accepted her invitation to try to work off the
sexual tension that had developed between us that I would probably hate myself
in the morning. I wasn’t kidding.
I’m starting to hate myself right now, for two reasons. First I may have
pissed away the opportunity of a lifetime by losing control during our first
(and maybe only) lovemaking session. Second, I’ve fallen in love.
I’ve got feelings for Deirdre that run deeper than I thought myself capable
of. It’s a hopeless consuming passion. I’m addicted to her like the
worst crack junky to his dope. And I’m lying here knowing she will be
gone in two weeks. I’m a complete idiot.
Deirdre had been laughing
at some little play on words that she somehow had the presence of mind to make
through this emotional morass I find myself in.
I had apologized
for fucking her brains out. When I asked her what she was thinking, she
said “Why, Andrew, I’m not thinking anything. I have no brains.”
And then she laughed. It
was that warm infectious little laugh that I had grown to adore. It
infected me and I laughed too, defusing my anxiety a little.
Suddenly she stopped
laughing and came into my arms. Our bodies touched for the first
time. Well it seemed like the first time. The last time I was in
such a state of unbridled lust that I hardly noticed her body. Now she
molded herself to me and our lips met.
Deirdre is soft,
indescribably soft. Her skin is like nothing I’ve ever touched
before. It’s so soft it’s barely a solid. My hands roamed her back
as we held each other. Her kiss was one that poets try to describe with
no success. The softness of those lips, the electricity in her touch, the
warmth, the gentleness of her embrace were all sucking me down into a permanent
abyss of unquenchable romantic love. It was like part of me was outside
myself, watching me drowning in Deirdre.
Have you ever said to
yourself, “This is going to kill me” and went right ahead and did whatever it
was anyway? That was me with Deirdre. This relationship was going
nowhere. Deirdre doesn’t do relationships. My life was going to end
in two weeks. This is going to kill me.
But she was with me
now. I would have to make it feel like eternity.
Our kiss seemed to last
an eternity. Neither of us wanted it to end, maybe. I know I
didn’t. When she finally pulled away, her eyes were shining. She
has this thing with her eyes. There is some kind of internal switch thing
that she seems to be able to turn on and off. When the switch was on
there was a light in her eyes that was mesmerizing, beautiful, dazzling.
I thought it only happened when she smiled.
She said, “Thank you,
Andrew. That was the most beautiful thing that’s ever happened to me.”
I was still apprehensive.
“I wasn’t too rough with you?”
She smiled a little, a
lovely warm smile. “No, you weren’t too rough. You were a bit
overwhelming. But sometimes it’s wonderful to be overwhelmed.”
“I promise that if we do
it again, I’ll take my time and be gentle. Something came over me just
now. I wasn’t myself.”
She laughed. Her
laugh was rich and melodious. Her eyes, her entire face, seemed to be
laughing. “If that wasn’t you, I want to meet that other guy who just about
killed me.”
Deirdre was a playful,
delightful lover. Humor is such an integral part of her person, and it
seemed to come out even more in the bedroom. She has a sweet relaxed way
of dealing with everything.
We held each other and
talked. I wanted to know about her. All I knew were these basic
facts: she grew up in the South; went to Duke; worked for a big consulting
firm; was beautiful; was the person I’ve been waiting for forever. Maybe
she didn’t feel like the person I’ve been waiting for forever.
My arms were full of
Deirdre as she told me a little of her life. I was right where I wanted
to be, forever.
“I’m from
I was pleased. “You
mean there is another woman who has your bloodlines? Wow. Is she at
all like you?”
“Yes, we are very much
alike. We’re about as close as sisters can be. I talk to her all of
the time, and we tell each other everything.”
I made the
semi-obligatory leering grin and said, “Everything?”
She laughed again.
Deirdre didn’t giggle. She had none of the nervous mannerisms I was used
to in the young girls I had dated. If she thought something was funny,
she laughed. If she was nervous, she admitted it. She never
giggled.
“Yes, everything. She is going to
love this story.”
I was a little flip with
her. “Oh, you tell her about all your love affairs, huh?”
She took the bait.
Her eyes flared with a different kind of spark, and I knew that this was as
close to angry that I’d ever seen Deirdre.
“I don’t do
relationships, Andrew. And I don’t have casual affairs. I never
tell Donnie about my love life because I have no love life. I don’t have
time for a love life.”
She seemed to calm down a
bit as this came out. I held her even tighter and I could feel her
tenseness relax.
“I’m sorry,
Deirdre. Maybe I’m a little vulnerable right now. This thing we are
doing here, I know you don’t do relationships, so it can’t be a
relationship. But it feels like a relationship to me.”
I heard her whisper, “Dee
Dee”.
“Dee Dee?”
I questioned.
“Yes the people closest
to me call me Dee Dee.”
“Who calls you Dee Dee?”
“Momma, Daddy and Donnie
are about it. I don’t have that many people I’m close to.” Deirdre
was snuggling her head into my shoulder, kind of like a kitten rubbing against
your leg. It felt wonderful.
I said, “You wouldn’t
mind if I called you Dee Dee?”
“I’d like it.”
Deirdre wasn’t looking at me. Her face was buried in my shoulder.
I brought my hand to her
chin and lifted her face next to mine. “Thank you, Dee Dee”, I said, and then I kissed her, a soft gentle kiss of
gratitude. I know it sounds ridiculous. She merely let me call her
by her nickname, no big thing. But I felt like some threshold had been
crossed. This private woman with no friends was asking me to be her
friend. I wanted more, but every journey starts with the
first step.
I wasn’t horny.
Jeez, I’d just had the greatest sexual experience of my life a few minutes
ago. How could I be horny? But my mood was romantic. I took
her face in my hands and planted a soft kiss on each cheek. Then I kissed her
lips. It was one of those languid, no hurry kisses; the kind that seem to
reach down to your heart and set it on fire.
I slid my lips down her
throat and began kissing her neck. God, it was a beautiful neck. I
felt myself sucking on that neck, trying to make it mine. I finally came
to my senses and let up the pressure, seconds before placing a serious hickey
on the neck of a thirty-five year old business woman.
She didn’t seem to
mind. Her eyes were closed and a soft lazy smile was on her lovely
face. I worked my way down her chest. I was finally at her breasts.
They were small and perfect. It was if she had been the model for the
champagne glass rather than Marie Antoinette. They were round, soft,
white, and perfectly symmetrical, with small dark, perfectly suckable nipples. I thought I had died and gone to
heaven.
I devoured those
breasts. I made gentle love to those perfect nipples, softly licking
them, gently biting them, then forcefully sucking them. By this time our
previous encounter was a forgotten memory and my dick was as hard as a
rock. But Dee Dee just lay there happily,
allowing me to slowly worship her body. When I nibbled on her nipple I
felt her body shudder and her chest pushed its way deeper into my mouth.
I finally was able to
pull myself away from her gorgeous tits and continued to kiss my way down her
body. I reached her belly button. She has an ‘inny’.
Every thing about Deirdre is provocative to me. Her belly button was
absolutely sensual.
There’s this theory I
read about. It’s a good theory and I kind of subscribe to it. Here’s
the theory: All primate males are ass men. When stated succinctly
like that, I don’t suppose it’s much of a theory. But what it means is
this: the females in primate species generally advertise their sexual
availability by having an inflamed ass. Primate males are always aware of
the state of a female’s ass, because he wants to fuck her whenever she is
willing.
Now an exception to the
rule is Homo sapiens. Something happened during the course of evolution,
something related to pair bonding maybe. But human females became
sexually receptive year round. How did the human female evolve to
advertise the fact that she is A
This brings me back to
Deirdre’s belly button, which to me looked like it was practically a second
pussy. I attacked that pseudo-pussy with my tongue, practically fucking
it. As I kissed my way down Dee Dee’s stomach, my hands had been fondling
those lovely breasts, gently pinching those sexy nipples. Then I slid
them down and beneath her legs and started squeezing her round soft ass.
My body had slipped down between her legs. My mouth started working its
way down from her belly button.
Dee Dee’s eyes finally
opened. She gazed on me with a look of apprehension. “Wait,
Andrew. I’m not sure you should go there.”
My body was already
between her legs. I brought my arms under her legs so that they were on
my shoulders. I looked up to her with as innocent an expression as I
could muster, given the circumstances.
“Go where?” I asked.
“You know perfectly well
where. Andrew, we just made love!”
“So? What’s your
point?” I can be oblique as the next guy when I want to be. In the
meantime I had allowed my fingers to softly crawl across her inner-thigh.
I was circling her sex without actually touching it. Dee Dee seemed to shift her hips, almost as if her pussy were seeking my fingers.
Her eyes closed in
passion. She grimaced, as if in pain. Then her eyes opened again.
“Andrew, no one’s ever
gone there before.” She was looking at me solemnly.
I couldn’t help but
grin. “So in a way you’re a virgin, at least in that”, I said.
“And in a lot of other
ways that I intend to remain a virgin at,” she said. She was smiling now
and I could tell her objections about the direction my mouth was going were no
longer worrying her. Deirdre was playful in bed. The passion was
fabulous, but between the heights of passion, Dee Dee
was having fun.
I licked her
thighs. When my tongue touched that soft, soft skin, Deirdre
shuddered. My tongue slowly worked its way toward Deirdre’s center.
I blew softly on her
lips. They were wet, red and swollen. My tongue reached out and
traced a path along Dee Dee’s pussy lips.
I was suddenly aware of
her eyes on me. She was watching intently as I licked her lips. I
lifted her hips a little more with my shoulders. Now I could work on her
pussy with my mouth and look at her face at the same time. Our eyes
locked in a look of passion, as my mouth took hold of one of her lips and I
licked it, sucked on it, softly nibbled on it.
She was moaning
now. Her hips were swaying back and forth, round and round. It was
as if she were working her pussy on my mouth. My tongue slid deeply into
her and a cry escaped her lips. I replaced my tongue with a finger.
I was exploring the walls of her pussy with my finger while my mouth sucked her
lips, and then my tongue worked around the edges of her clit. I wanted
her high, and I wanted her to stay there.
She was watching me with
passion-glazed eyes, her hips moving to meet the rhythm of my fingers. I
tasted her sweetness inter-mingled with the musky taste of my own cum.
Her hip movements became
more frenzied, her eyes closed, her head moving side to side. She was on
the verge of a powerful orgasm; too soon, as far as I was concerned. I
slowed my assault on her pussy, bringing the fast boil back to a simmer; a
pretty damn fast simmer, I’ll admit, but at least she wasn’t in danger of
boiling over.
Her eyes were open again,
and this time that light was on. She was looking at me with her mouth
open, an astonished smile on her face. She was gasping from her
near-orgasm experience, but quickly settled back into the slightly slower
rhythm I set for her.
I brought her to a boil
again, again only to back off. Again and again I did it. Each time
her level of arousal seemed to increase. Her face in the throes of passion is
the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. By now her hands were on my
head, pulling me into her. Her knees were pulled up to her chest; her
pussy was wide open, welcoming and demanding.
God, I loved her. I
sucked her clit between my lips, licking it with the flat of my tongue. I
inserted a second finger into her pussy and worked her G spot. I heard
her screaming.
Her whole body arched off
of the bed. She was still screaming, but no sound was coming out. I
felt her pussy clenching tightly around my fingers, her thighs clamping around
my ears, her hands pulling my head to her middle.
I kept up the pressure,
forcing her orgasm to higher and higher levels. Her arms were suddenly
fluttering in the air, her eyes rolled back in her head. Finally she went
completely limp, no longer able to actively participate in her own
seduction. I kept gently eating her pussy, avoiding her clitoris.
Her eyes were barely open, but she continued to watch the assault on her
pussy. Before long I could feel her starting to respond again. The
woman was deep in latent sensuality.
She reached out to me,
beckoning me upwards. I took her hand and worked my way up her
body. Our lips met, even though my face was totally covered in her erotic
juices. As we kissed my cock slipped into her once again.
I began a slow steady in
and out movement. My hips rotated a little as I moved, forcing my cock to
slide around as well as back and forth. The feeling was exquisite.
Her soft warm inner walls seemed to massage my dick.
We did that for a long
time, gazing into each other’s eyes as I stroked in and out, round and
round. I just had so much love for this woman. We were bonding in
the way established by the australopithecines. It was as old as man
himself, older than our species, the way Dee Dee and
I made that intimate bond that belongs to every true couple. God, I hope
she felt it too.
And then my passion came
upon me. I started stroking in earnest, building up power, my lust
overwhelming my love. I was slamming into her, eliciting a grunt from her
with every stroke. Her legs wrapped around my hips as she gave herself
totally to me. Harder and harder, higher and higher we climbed till there
was nothing but the act of two people trying to achieve oneness through the
intimate contact of their sex. And then oneness arrived. My dick
seized, then sprayed shot upon shot of semen into her
welcoming pussy. Her arms were around my neck, squeezing for all they
were worth. She was deliriously babbling when her whole body tensed and a
loud sharp scream signaled her orgasm.
We held each other for
minutes afterwards. Deirdre’s eyes were closed as I kissed her neck, her
cheeks, her eyelids and finally her lips. At last her eyes opened and the
sides of her mouth curled up into an exhausted smile.
I thought I heard her
whisper, “Death by fucking.”