Chapter Forty-Seven

Don’t try to understand women. Women understand women – that is why they hate each other.

After Ryan, I kissed four more men in a row. They usually bought the red-chip and expected to get the blue-chip service – tongue.

They would walk up to kiss me awkwardly. Their breath would smell of a complex smorgasbord of beer, grilled hotdog, tobacco, or just plain shit-breath.

They would hand me the chip with a big grin and I would get a chance to see how many teeth they had. The man was usually twice my age – or at least looked that way to me.

I would smile at the trick and then open my arms to offer him a friendly-little hug. They would hold me, groping slightly and press their lips to mine. There was a moment where I could see them questioning if they should be doing this and then they would go for it.

They would inevitably try to slip the tongue to me and then feel rejected when I didn’t open my mouth.

Savannah had said, “You paid for Budweiser and you are hoping for Champagne.” when she had to be in the kissing booth earlier today to a guy, and I repeated those words. They all want to be the exception who gets a little more than what they paid for – because they wanted to think I secretly wanted them to kiss me.

I would not have been kissing these strange older men in front of everyone just for funszies. I thanked each guy afterwards. My senses were on overload and honestly I am still just a teenager, so I was a bit overwhelmed by what I was doing even if I didn’t let on. I can’t say if I did it by intention, force of habit, or the fact I was supposed to be playing someone stuck up, but what I am sure of is that my thank you was snotty and suggested they should have paid for the blue-chip.

I didn’t come right out and say “Thank you sir, your breath smells of onions and dried horse manure and your lips feel like what I’d imagine the bottom of a snail’s belly feels like while you jab your tongue in my mouth awkwardly – that was quite an experience, but may I suggest the blue-chip for a much better kiss from me?”

I think my subtle hints were lost on most of them who walked away looking like they had just stunned me and scored big points as the world’s best kisser.

I was disgusted by what I was doing, but I didn’t feel all that guilty about making the men feel bad for not spending more to kiss me. It hurt my feelings they wanted a full kiss and weren’t willing to pay a little extra.

This disgusting ordeal had started to feel like a routine to me. It was a fresh-new experience each time, but it was like pulling a band-aid off the same cut finger – after a few times I had become used to it.

I had started to get comfortable, but I also started to get confidence. The men desired me and they wanted more from me than I had to give. They seemed to accept the kisses and didn’t complain to get their money back – and this was winding me up – making me feel cocky.

That feeling of being hot and desirable, yet not having to try hard, must be how Savannah felt all the time.

That was until Tawny and April Haislip walked up playing with two blue poker chips between her fingers and a shit-eating grin on both their faces.

The mother and daughter team had made no secret how much they didn’t like us. They were condescending, narcissistic and in general acted like they were hot shit and everyone else existed for their amusement. I was genuinely surprised they wanted to kiss me – my pulse started racing. I had grown accustomed to the idea of dirty old men in the last half hour, but kissing women was a whole new low for me- especially ones that seemed to loathe my very existence.

“You should wait for my cousin Lloyd, Ma’am,” I tried to play it calm but my voice was nervous. They had a look on their face like a cat that ate the canary – they were going to enjoy teasing me and I was already dreading it.

“Tawny,” her mother said sarcastically, ignoring what I said while appraising my body, “the little slut looks like she works out, doesn’t she?”

Tawny walked around my body and inspected it. “Her calves could definitely use some lifting- she needs a gym membership!”

“You think if we contribute enough to your little scam,” April asked me, “you will pony up for a gym membership? Your body is hideous and you need a total make-over if you want anyone to believe you come from a ritzy place like Cherry Lawn Estates.”

“I do come from Cherry Lawn, Ma’am,” I wanted to say that not everyone gets plastic surgery and does Pilates til they puke there; but she was intimidating me back into the awkward, knobby-kneed, girl they secretly believed me to be.

They started their inspection with my bare feet. “She hasn’t trimmed her toe-nails – and look at all the dirt,” Tawny observed to her mother, “dirty feet and talons that could shred the bed sheets!” she shuddered at my toe-nails.

“Oh my!” April agreed with derision directed at my jagged, dirty toe-nails, “She looks like she could swoop in the air and snatch her dinner from a lake!”

They were trying to hurt my feelings obviously, but they weren’t too far from the truth– I hadn’t had a chance to really do much about it under the circumstances. It didn’t stop the words from feeling like a slap to the face just because they were true.

“She does need a pedicure,” April offered to get me an appointment at her nail place but said I’d have to wear panties when I go as if that would preclude me from entering. “It’s a respectable establishment.”

They high-fived each other when they got the reaction they wanted from me – a dejected look of intense embarrassment. I could almost literally feel the confidence I had built up melting out of me and pouring into the ground through my chipped and flecked toenails.

“Look at those flapjack tits,” Tawny was still inspecting me and was no longer being subtle. I had very perky tits that jutted off my chest. They weren’t big, but they weren’t ‘flapjacks’. Their judgment of my body was meant to sting and it did!

“She might actually be a virgin,” Tawny assessed me and when her mother asked why she thought that she explained, “She moves with the grace of a toad, she smells like warmed over bologna, and she has an upturned piggy nose – who would fuck that?”

I wanted to defend myself – to speak up, but I was so intimidated that I held my tongue- fighting myself to try to sass them back or just shut up and endure their taunts. It wasn’t the first time I had been mocked, but they had such an expert way of dissecting all my physical short-comings that I felt my ego was being eviscerated.

“Don’t be so hard on her,” April defended me and then gave me a taste of the sweet toned sarcasm she saved for my Aunt, “There are lots of guys with low enough standards to nail a chubby ass like this little slut.”

“True dat,” Tawny high fived her mother with a chuckle.

“You wanted to spend the money for a kiss,” April told her daughter that she should go tell Ted to make me work-out and firm up and ask for their money back – I didn’t seem worth it.

Their criticisms of me weren’t limited to my tits and calves. They made fun of my belly-button and how deep it went. “I bet men can fuck that hole and not even realize it’s not that wet-hole she calls a pussy!”

“Too many razor bumps around her twat,” the elder Haislip motioned to her own smooth bikini line and then to my stubbly, bumpy bikini area and said, “This is a hot mess.”

They mocked my tan-lines and how by now I shouldn’t have any. I have to admit – they were smooth shaved and well-tanned and they looked good. I had been pulled in so many different directions the last week and had never worn anything as skimpy as the bikini I had on, even underneath my clothes!

I still had large patches of milky-white skin around my legs and tits, despite having had four days of constant sunshine. Their tans were nice and even, and they looked composed and sexy.

They had blemish-free skin and they even made fun of the freckles that dotted my nose. “You look like Bambi, bitch!” Tawny pointed to the bridge of my nose.

“Please exfoliate,” April wouldn’t be as crass and vulgar as her daughter, but her barbed beauty tip advice stung none the less.

The more they made fun of me the more it hurt. I knew they were doing it on purpose to get a reaction out of me, but I couldn’t help but react. It hurt my self-esteem but strangely it made me want to prove them wrong.

“Will you just hurry up and kiss me? This isn’t a free-show, Ma’am,” I mustered up the courage to defy them amidst the feelings of inadequacy and humiliation while they belittled and hazed me.

I was hoping Ted would have another customer for me waiting in the wings so I could justify ignoring them to kiss someone else, but he was overseeing a spanking for Crystal and Savannah at that moment.

“Ooh she is feisty, Mom!” Tawny bared her teeth at me and told me to watch my attitude. “You want people to think you are here to get discipline don’t you?”

They knew this was all an act. A lot of people thought that, but my Aunt Crystal’s behavior today had convinced even some regular skeptics that it wasn’t. I wasn’t even sure anymore how much of this was an act and how much of this was real.

“It is no act, Ma’am,” I said while turning my nose up at them, “I have to kiss whoever, whenever, if they have a chip- even two sluts like you. If you would be so kind as to pop a tic-tac before-hand, I’ll slip you some tongue.”

“These are blue-chips, baby-girl,” April held up two chips and said I needed to do that anyway or she would tell Ted on me and make me do it again.

“Fine,” I pretended it didn’t bother me, but inside I was melting and worried. These two women were natural predator-level bitches and I was just a girl pretending to be one. I was nowhere near the same level they were in confidence, beauty, and the ability to tear a girl down without feeling guilty.

“Besides,” Tawny turned around and bent over at the waist. She rolled her bikini bottoms down to reveal her bare-pink asshole between her parted crack “I don’t have to pop a tic-tac where I want you to kiss me.”

She didn’t have any qualms about shooting a moon in plain view of everyone on the sidewalk. The V.I.P tent guys could see us and they were all looking now. They had seen our naked asses all day – but Tawny showing hers was a fresh treat for them.

“I don’t think my tongue is big enough to kiss that ass,” I had meant to say something snarky and mean about how fat Tawny’s ass was; but in truth it was a lovely, perfect, centerfold model style body and I was terrible at insults. I came off goofy with my remark and the insult bounced off her back.

“Hurry up,” Tawny looked over her shoulder at me with the kind of sassy brattitude that even Savannah had not perfected, “I don’t have all day.”

I looked over at Ted to see what he would say but he was making my Aunt and cousin pull their own bottoms down and bend over for a stranger. I certainly didn’t want to ask Daisy and I couldn’t see Catfish to ask him.

My brother was in the booth only a few feet away – but I didn’t want to involve him in this and I wasn’t sure what he would say. He had already seen me do so many humiliating things that I don’t think I would ever live it down in his eyes – I wanted to address it with him, but I still hadn’t made sense of the last few days myself. I was so often living in the current moment that I still had yet to think about what it will be like when we are adults and we get together at family reunions.

He might remember that crazy summer down here in Buckman Acres and how he saw every square inch of my naked body as I kissed strangers and washed cars with my cousin and Aunt and want to say something about it – but what would he say? Could we joke about it after enough time had passed?

We were joking about it often enough now – I suppose we might, or we might never speak of this summer again!

I thought better of asking for him to intercede though. I wasn’t sure what he would say and I didn’t want to put him on the spot.

I looked down at the sun glistening off her pink wet-poo hole. Her asshole was a perfect, little circle that reminded me of an inverted nipple. There wasn’t even a wrinkle around the hole – it was smooth and clean. The sun shone down on her asshole and it dawned on me just how far I had fallen.

I was kissing strangers for money and I had apparently not had a moral dilemma with renting out my lips and tongue for five bucks or more, and now I was being expected to plant a kiss on someone’s dirty, spread asshole in front of men who were salivating to see me do it.

“Come on guys,” I pleaded for April and Tawny to cut me some slack “Let’s just kiss the regular way – please?”

“I don’t want to put my lips on yours after all the men you’ve been kissing,” Tawny looked over her shoulder at me impatiently. Her blonde hair whipped across her back defiantly to declare I get this over with already. “I assure you – my asshole hasn’t been used nearly as much as your lips have and is twice as clean.”

“Today anyway?” April teased her daughter with a smile that her daughter’s butthole might not always be so pristine. Tawny looked back at her with the same competitive rivalry I had seen in my Aunt and Savannah when they joked.

“Conner, Sir?” I changed my mind and decided to call in for reinforcements and my brother was the only person nearby I thought might actually not make the situation worse.

Conner had probably not heard all the mean things they said, but while they didn’t hurt the same way a pussy-spanking did – I knew I was supposed to just grin and bear those insults.

I was calling for Conner to see if he would give me permission to ignore their request that I kiss Tawny’s ass for a blue poker chip. I didn’t want to – he was my last resort because everyone else was either busy or I knew they would make it even more excruciating for me if I involved them.

I had been told by my cousin to kiss her ass at least 100 times a day every day since I first got to the Buckman, but it was always figurative. She had always been explicit and was never shy about telling me to kiss her ‘big fat ass’ or to ‘tongue her stinker’.

In all those times she asked, no matter how graphic, I had never imagined actually doing it. Now I was faced with the reality that Tawny expected me to pucker up and plant a kiss directly on her anus. I found it difficult to even think about the word ‘ass’ as the decision to do it or not loomed in front of me.

Was it a decision? Did I even really have a choice here?

“Yeah?” Conner walked over to the edge of the booth where the music played. He smiled when he saw Tawny’s bare-crack spread for me and stared longingly into her pink abyss.

Conner had a choice. He could play the role of my boss and tell her she had to get kissed on the lips like everyone else. I had been hesitant to kiss her on the lips before this, but now given the alternative – I was completely game to kiss her on the lips.

“Dork-boy,” Tawny addressed my brother with scorn, but looked over her shoulder flirtatiously. She was tall, buxom, and strikingly beautiful, but her voice could be nasally and grating – especially when she was putting someone, or something, down.

She made no attempt to hide herself in any way – almost encouraging him to drink in her full-grown, ripe, teenage body. “Would you tell your pasty-white, stuck-up sister to bend down and kiss my fucking ass and stop stalling, please?”

Her mother held up the blue-chips like they were tickets to ride on a roller-coaster –except they were tickets for me to plant a kiss on anyone or anything.

“You want my other one?” April sounded sympathetic as she offered it to my brother. “You look like you have probably never kissed a girl and your sister will be good practice for you if you ever get a real one,” that was uncalled for. I could feel anger welling up inside of me.

It was one thing to make fun of me. I was fair game and being a good sport about it. We had established I was a bitch and a slut and my Uncle was selling tickets to kiss me – it wasn’t like anything other than kissing their asses should have been that much of a shock to me even though their words hurt like hell.

My instinct is to protect my little brother! Conner never agreed to be cut-down and put down. There was a simmering anger coming up from a tightened knot in the pit of my stomach as they spoke to him. I felt bad I had involved him in this dispute but I did not want to give them the satisfaction. We didn’t need the money they paid THAT badly – I would just kiss some more redneck tricks to make up for it!

This wasn’t the first time they had inferred he was an awkward little virgin who needed to get some girly-action. This wasn’t the first time he had been insulted and I did nothing or said nothing about it then either.

“Get your fat-little dough-face down between my sweet-ass legs! Don’t pretend you’ve never eaten pussy before and kiss my fucking asshole. I am getting tired of your little brother staring at me like he has never seen a real woman before – which maybe he hasn’t,” She smiled at my brother with a sadistic gleam in her eyes, “Going to jerk off to this later are you LITTLE brother?”

Tawny made a peace sign with her fingers and spread her fingers between her legs. She had only pulled down her bikini enough to expose her ass but her splayed fingers were clearly intended to simulate masturbation and draw his eye to her pussy.

We had a small audience of interested tricks and V.I.P. members watching, but most people were paying attention to whatever hoops Ted had Crystal and Savannah jumping through as I awaited my brother’s response.

I could see my brother was looking in Ted’s direction. I imagined the struggle going on in his mind. He was asking himself if he should go get Ted and ask him what to do here or if he should make a decision on his own. My brother is a strategy gamer – he would be weighing his options and deciding the best possible outcome.

“What seems to be the problem?” Conner asked as if he couldn’t quickly guess what was happening. My brother isn’t the most street savvy person and I was a little frustrated he needed it spelled out for him, but I answered him when the Haislip girls did not.

“They have a blue poker chip but they want me to kiss their ass, Sir?” I had to look almost in the sun to see my brother’s face looking down at me and I shielded my eyes.

He once again acted like he did not see the big deal and asked how that was a problem. Was he pulling my leg or is he truly clueless?

“Well, let me see,” I had expected Conner to immediately say no or go get Ted and tell them to just kiss me on the lips and be done. I wasn’t looking forward to kissing mean girl on the lips either, but I had to draw the line at her ass. I wondered with his fascination with asses, if he was just drinking in the sight of Tawny’s stretched, taut, sphincter?

“You are out here because of your slutty behavior to learn a lesson are you not?” Conner was either ignoring my sign or he just didn’t see it. I was reluctant to answer that I was, because I already suspected where he was going with his response and regretted not just telling them to fuck off myself. I would have probably been punished – but I’d be punished a dozen times today before it was all over anyway.

“Yes Sir,” he made me admit it out loud and it stung. I knew I was play-acting my role as the rich bitch learning a lesson, but saying the words out loud hurt my feelings more than I thought they would. I could hear my voice crack as I drew in a breath and the girls giggle at me.

“You have wasted a lot of the family money on stupid shit and are now a walking kissing booth, who will kiss anyone with a red or a blue chip?” he made me answer that question as well before continuing.

“Yes Sir, I am but,” I tried to offer my side of things but he shushed me – my own little brother SHUSHED me. I knew he was playing his role as well but I have to admit – I really wanted to smack the condescending look right off his face. He was talking to me like I was a foolish child.

“The blue chip entitles the bearer to a kiss with tongue but Ted never said it has to be on the lips did he?” my Brother was probably going to grow up to be an attorney because I knew I had already lost the argument.

“No sir, he did not,” he made me answer anyway – even though it was obviously rhetorical at this point.

“You are a brown-noser and a kiss-ass, are you not?” Conner didn’t have a trace of sympathy for me now in his questions. I was more hurt realizing he wasn’t on my side, than I was over the fact I was going to have to bend over and literally kiss this bitch’s actual bare asshole.

“Yes Sir, I guess I am,” I answered reluctantly with a tear starting to appear in the corner of my eye.

“I didn’t hear you,” Conner put his hands to his ear and patronizingly told me, “I thought you said you guess you are – you either are or you aren’t, now which is it? No guesses you dumb slut.”

“I am a brown-noser and a kiss-ass, Sir?” he made me say that out loud too. This little exchange of dialogue was starting to interest more people who were watching. There were a couple people with cell-phones out, but Tawny didn’t shrink from holding her bottoms down far enough for them to get a look at her butthole and for me to kiss it. She had a big grin on her face like she was getting one over on me- even though she was showing her ass to anyone who wanted to see it.

“Are you asking me or telling me what you are?” Conner was playing with me now – teasing me mercilessly. I thought about pressing the eject button and giving him one of Savannah’s patented double middle-fingers and walking away – I knew I’d get punished but who was Conner to boss me around?

I am not a lion like Savannah – I am more of a rabbit or a mouse. I had let Conner boss me around before and I was going to again – “I am sorry sir for wasting your time. I should have been more clear – I am definitely a brown-noser and a kiss-ass.”

He smiled – as if achieving an unexpected victory. I wondered if that was his sign that he was really just doing this all for show or if he meant any of it.

“I do not see the reason you are asking me what you should do then,” Conner pronounced I would have to do as I was told. “You made your bed, now lie in it.”

“I don’t HAVE a bed, sir,” I replied with genuine frustration in the same blunt, sassy way my cousin would have told him off.

He smiled at me briefly and winked. I wasn’t sure if that was a blink or it was a wink to let me know he was hoping I’d show some spine.

“Maybe you would if you weren’t such a little twat who took everything for granted?” my brother fired right back and pointed out he didn’t get a bed either and he didn’t do anything wrong.

There was another moment that I really believed I was REALLY under punishment and had been the brat I admitted to being-who did all these terrible things wrong. The line had blurred once we agreed to do this until Sunday and not stop – it was a punishment.

“Fine,” I relented and agreed but stipulated, “no tongue though.”

I started to lean down over Tawny to kiss her spread asshole. It was made more difficult by looking at the tight pink starfish shape winking back at me and knowing I was being watched. She had a little coating of oily sweat around the asshole and it was taking all the courage I could muster to give this kiss.

“Gah,” Tawny agreed to no tongue in frustration, “Just kiss it – I am getting tired of

being bent over.”

“No,” my brother said which froze me in my tracks. His words cut right through and I stood frozen in position while he asked, “Does the blue chip entitle the bearer to tongue?”

“Yes Sir, it does” I smiled up at him sweetly, but inside I was wishing him tied to a bus and driven back to Cherry Lawn – preferably naked and on top or under that bus!

“Do you make the rules or set the boundaries?” He made me answer another question while bent over inches away from Tawny’s plump, pink, pulsing asshole.

“No Sir, I do not. But,” he shushed me again, before I could say he didn’t either.

“No butts, besides the one you are going to use your tongue on when you kiss it!” my brother was adamant now that I give the Haislip’s the kiss they were asking for. He saw I was reluctant and added, “I am sure Ted’s cure for your reluctance to follow your orders and give your sponsors what they paid for would be to kiss his own hairy, sweaty, ass-crack – you would like that better?”

He had a good point about what Ted would do and suddenly Tawny’s asshole seemed a whole lot more inviting – but only by comparison.

I was tempted to ask my brother for mercy and beg him please – I did not want to do this. I had eaten worms today and even given a blowjob to a stranger in front of other men. I had stripped completely naked and had an inflatable enema tube put up my ass filling my colon with water until I forcibly expelled it in front of those same men, and yet after all that – I did not want to give these two the satisfaction of seeing me kiss their ass.

“Just rim my sweet ass and collect your little chip,” Tawny’s petulant demand was laced with ridicule and scorn for me and I wanted to kick her ass – not kiss it. It would have been worth whatever punishment I got for being a brat. I imagined winding my leg up and punting her right between the legs.

I bent over and got really close her parted cheeks – within sniffing distance from her puckered asshole.

“That’s it – really toss my salad,” she wiggled her ass playfully with delight at her victory over me.

“Really get your face in there, girly!” Tawny’s mom guided my head between her daughter’s ass crack forcefully even though her tone was playful. I flicked out my tongue to give her a wet kiss and as if on cue and perhaps entirely by intention Tawny wiggled her ass and fripped a fart right between my teeth as I opened my mouth to offer my tongue.

“Gross,” Tawny pulled away immediately and shoved me while pulling up her bikini bottoms and making it seem as if I were the disgusting one. She and her mother were laughing at me – as well as the three or four men who had stopped to watch this spectacle play out.

“She is fucking bad-ass!” a guy in a dirty brown t-shirt offered his appreciation for what I just did. He was loud and brash, but he turned the attitude of the onlookers around to my side. They cheered me too.

“She actually is,” I heard Tawny give me some begrudging respect in her voice as her daughter flipped me one of the chips in her hand. “I think we’ll take this one over and see what Savannah will give us for it.” I heard them say as they walked away.

I turned to stand up and smile at the men who seemed impressed with what just happened. I didn’t think it was particularly sexy – but maybe they hadn’t heard Tawny rip one. I had been so close that it reverberated around my ears.

I deposited the last blue chip into a small box I had been given to store the tokens when I started kissing duty and while the men seemed pleased with what I had done – none of them were actually willing to spend money to buy a kiss.

Conner was standing over me from the DJ booth like a Prince on the balcony of his castle keep. He asked “Was that so hard, Sis?”

I offered him a wintry smile because he knew damned well it had been hard for me. The small crowd of on-lookers had already dissipated and started gawking at Savannah or Crystal and I planned to get some time with my brother to talk about what he just saw me do and whether he knew this was all a scam to make money or if he was really tormenting me.

As I rounded the corner of the DJ booth to walk up to see my brother I bumped into Daisy. She had a body like the princess from the movie Shrek – when she was in Ogre form. She stormed around like she WAS royalty – smiling, pointing and laughing at jokes she told.

“Well, well booger-butt.” She put her hands on her hips, “You and your Aunt are my big earners today!” she talked down to me as she offered the compliment.

“Uh, thank you, Ma’am” was all I could think to say in response.

“You can’t be lollygagging around at the DJ booth though,” she wagged her finger at me and admonished me for being ‘lazy’ before grabbing my hand and telling me to follow her for an idea she had.

“Oh great,” I thought to myself – what fresh hell would this be?