Chapter Forty-Six

Autocorrect has become my worst enema!

Savannah and I washed cars for the next fifteen minutes or so, laughing playfully and talking. We knew men were ogling us but it was much easier to ignore them when I was with Savannah.

Now that Crystal had pretty much gone off the deep-end, and was no longer being catty and sassy, Savannah had turned to me as her confidant and I liked being her best friend.

I started to believe from some of my cousin’s stories that her good looks had been a curse and a blessing.

She told me a story about a creepy older man that had fallen in love with her. “He would say he loved me, but it was just lust.” She said that didn’t stop her from taking his money and using him for cigarettes and rides. She knew what he wanted and as long as she didn’t actually deliver – he would keep trying.

Savannah told me how he was obsessed with her eyes and would call them ‘angel eyes’ and “how pretty they were – the shape, the color, he wouldn’t shut up about it.” Savannah sounded disgusted with it saying, “It weren’t nothing I haven’t heard a million times before and I told him they pass out pretty eyes in heaven – it’s not a big deal.”

Savannah knew she was good looking and she was desirable to men. She had a perky body that reminded me of a Barbie doll; and yet at other times she seemed to think that wasn’t worth very much. “There are plenty of pretty girls – and when I am old, what will that be worth?”

She didn’t tell me what happened between her and the older man before launching into a story about the curse of being so pretty. She said that, on her first day as a Freshman at Buckman High, she was approached by Tawny and some girls on the cheerleading squad and punched right in the face for being too pretty.

“That is what they said!” Savannah rubbed her jaw as if reliving the punch again and added, “Fuck! I was like well damn, I know I am good looking, but why did you have to punch me in the face?”

She said that began a rivalry with her and Tawny all year and she hadn’t been able to make any new friends. “I was fucking queen bee of middle school. All the other girls wanted to be me, all the teachers wanted to do me - but I am a damned outsider at Buckman High!”

“You are the same age as me?” I was a Freshman last year as well. I had just assumed that since Savannah seemed so much more mature than I was – that she was much older than me.

Savannah looked at me like I was crazy for not knowing that. “Shit, you think I have sprouted, you should see some of the crazy, awesome bitches Lloyd brings home!”

Lloyd was getting admired by three women who were sticking one dollar bills into his loin cloth and reaching well below the loin and under the cloth. He waved at us when he heard his name and a sexy woman in her late thirties rubbed his shoulders for him.

“I could use a fucking massage,” Savannah sighed as she looked over at Lloyd with a little jealousy.

I was going to tell her about a man who seemed obsessed with the shape of my nose. He said he liked how stuck-up it made me look because it was so pointy and straight. I wasn’t sure if that was a compliment or an insult. “You look like a princess or something with that turned-up nose.”

I didn’t get a chance because Ted was making another of his infamous announcements.

“Yow-zah, Yow-zah, Yow-zah!” Ted made my brother cut the music so he could talk over his bullhorn inside the booth. He got everyone’s attention and thanked them for coming out to the pool grand-opening. The attention span of most people had been exceeded after twenty seconds of his talking, but he managed to get them back

“Who is ready to do a little gambling? Win a little ka-CHING!!!!” he waved some dollars in the air and encouraged people to come over to the booth and listen to him.

“REDNECK -MUD-PITS!!!”

There is a grassy area just south of the pool before the first trailer on Seminole, and Catfish had flooded it with the car-wash hose. It was a dirty-mess of red-clay and mud.

Ted said he was going to let us wrestle each other in the mud – no holds barred. He told the excited crowd there would also be “Indian Leg Wrestling matches”.

“Oh shit,” Savannah grinned and seemed actually impressed that Ted came up with that idea “No he didn’t.”

The Wrestler was the first to scream that this was the best day of his fucking life and then began shouting “Triple H! TRIPLE H! TRIPLE H!” and jumping around to excite the crowd.

“Get up here Savannah,” Ted insisted the first match would pit mother against daughter.

“What do WE win, Sir?” Savannah asked excitedly in a loud voice over the crowd. She could be very extroverted and dramatic when she wanted to and it inspired me. I wanted to be like that when it was my turn, although the pit of my stomach was rumbling that I was probably going to get creamed.

Ted had told us he was going to fix the bets so that we won the most money – so I was hopeful I wouldn’t actually get hurt and I knew I’d probably just get muddy.

“You win?” Ted laughed that she’d win a bath when she was done and it’d be up to how well she did as to whether it was out in front of everyone or in the V.I.P section only.

“Well, what is the incentive to kick my mother’s ass up and down this mud-pit if I don’t have anything to win?” Savannah’s sassy southern accent carried almost as well as Ted and he was on a bullhorn.

“You have a point,” Ted smirked. “When you lose, your mother gets to be top bitch and take 5% from you – you trade necklaces.”

Savannah put her hands on her hips expecting him to continue with what she would win. She was confident she was in no danger of losing.

Ted added a little tension by waiting to tell her what she would win, but he might have also been thinking of the stakes and it just seemed like a dramatic pause. “YOU win, and you stay top-bitch, get 5% from your mom and get to keep your butt-plug out for an hour. You get to eat regular food tonight at the table.”

“All of that AND,” Savannah scoffed and made her counter off, “if I lose to my mom, then I will kiss your hairy ass in front of everyone; but if I win, then you kiss my entire ass and we go out to eat again tonight, Sir!”

Ted counter-offered that he’d agree to that, but the loser adds one day to her sentence as bitch. “You’ll stop on Monday.”

I noticed that Crystal stood one step behind and to the right of Ted, smiling at the crowd, but let him negotiate for her without offering any conditions of her own.

Savannah agreed and spit on her hand before offering to shake Ted on it. Ted, Catfish, and Daisy took bets after sending Crystal and Savannah to the center of the mud pit.

The two of them were told the redneck chick wrestling rules, “No punching, and no spitting or scratching in the face. The first girl to pull off all the other girls clothes AND pin her wins!”

I was standing on my tippy toes watching over the heads of the thirty or so people gathered to watch this spectacle play out.

I would describe blow-by-blow how it went but I didn’t get to see it all. Savannah initially pulled her mother’s hair and Ted started to call the action but I felt a tap on my shoulder.

I turned around and saw that it was Ryan. I tried not to look disappointed but I think he read that on my face. I was just glad it was not my dad or mom!!

“Hello Sir,” I offered a wistful smile. I knew he liked me but I also knew he was disgusted by what he had seen me do and he was angry I didn’t like him back. I felt awkward.

“You can drop the sir when it is just you and I,” he explained. I actually preferred to say it always, so that I didn’t get in the habit and forget. It was kind of how I had managed to avoid accidentally cussing in front of my parents for so many years before coming to the Buckman – by simply not doing it at all, ever.

It did feel humbling to have to say sir or ma’am to people – especially ones I didn’t respect, but I had started to become used to it. I always thought of life back in Cherry Lawn when I saw Ryan because he was from there and even though he went to a different high school he was like the people I knew back home. He dressed like them, talked like them, smelled like them and it reminded me that if I do go back – I’ll be a changed person.

I will no longer be the naïve little “Frosh” (freshman) that I was when the summer began and I wondered if I’d accidentally call people Sir next year at my high school. If I went to Cherry Lawn High at all – would people in the school not freak out if I started saying “Sir” and “Ma’am” around the halls?

I actually smiled at how over-the-top that fantasy sounded and pictured going to the bus-stop with my wrists tied behind my back like I was under discipline. It was so absurdly over the top I knew they’d probably never allow that at Cherry Lawn High and someone would probably report me if I did.

“Why are you really doing this?” he asked me – his face skeptical of me. I just realized I had been fantasizing about walking the halls of my high school under discipline and I didn’t know why until he asked, “You don’t enjoy being treated like this do you?”

I thought about how I would answer that. I wondered how to define what “Treated like this” really is – each day it had really snow-balled until it became more and more intense. I decided to go with as honest as I could be in my response to his question.

“I am still trying to figure that out, Sir,” I started with the first thing that popped into my head as the absolute truth. I really didn’t know. “There are some things that are kind of exciting about this and that I actually do like, and obviously the money is one of those things.”

His face soured at the mention of money and I tried to explain I wasn’t just a greedy, little bitch. “I mean – to help the family get back on their feet.”

“Yeah – you really seemed that way spending all that money at the sex-toy store and the mall!” he had become disenchanted with my reasoning now.

“I know that we probably shouldn’t have splurged, but MY money is safe and to answer your question – most of this I really hate. It’s disgusting, painful and Daisy is the absolute worst. If any of these pictures or rumors of what I’ve done get back to Cherry Lawn I’ll probably be ruined there.”

“Or you will be the most popular girl in the school,” Ryan joked and I had to laugh – that might actually be true given that celebrities doing raunchy things made them more popular than ever.

I was politely listening to him and while I had grown somewhat used to it – I couldn’t help but notice he was talking to my cleavage and the space between my tits and not my face.

“I saw on TV last night that Lady Victoria Hervy wore a see thru dress to the Oscars. She is British Nobility and, for a lark, she wore something even more revealing than your Aunt did; and all your Aunt had to do was walk around in front of a few dozen redneck shoppers in a backwoods mall,” he told me.

I didn’t know who Lady Victoria Hervy was, but I smiled and nodded in agreement with him. I felt I had answered his question about why I continued to do the things I was doing – but in truth, I don’t think I had answered the question for myself on why.

He started to tell me about how Nikki Minaj put up new pics of her tits on Instagram the night before and I giggled, “You sure do know a lot about celebrities dressing or acting like the sluts of the Buckman.” I didn’t mean to imply that he spends a lot of time researching porn. I meant to say that he could just see us regular girls doing it in person but it came out like an insult.

“Maybe she has someone like Uncle Ted making her do it to further her career,” I tried to change the subject but there was an uncomfortable pause while he searched for something to say in response. In that space of time I imagined a story about Miley Cyrus’s parents being the ones to encourage her public melt-down: “Now Miley, go out there and stick your tongue WAY out and twerk your ass off honey” and Miley reluctantly saying “But Mom!!”

“Don’t mom me! You may be a millionairess, adored by hundreds of thousands of tween girls but we need to get the creepy older guy market and you flashing those knockers is how we will do it because just singing like a classy young woman won’t sell anything on iTunes – now you call me Ma’am and get in that thong!”

I chuckled at my own mini-fantasy story. I think I was starting to imagine perverted little scenarios in part to escape the one I was living – or maybe my sense of humor had started to change.

“I just wanted to tell you that,” Ryan awkwardly changed the subject abruptly. “I think you are kind of hot and cool and well,” he seemed nervous and awkward just like me “even though you don’t really like me – will you get mad if I buy some kisses? I brought twenty bucks!” he held up a crisp twenty dollar bill.

I smiled at his honesty and felt kind of sorry for him. “I don’t mind at all, Sir.” I had kissed him before and there were much worse guys I have had to kiss since this started.

I should have minded being kissed by strangers – even cute ones. I should have minded them groping me and pushing their tongues and hot breath into my mouth in the most intimate of ways but I found myself accepting it. I think a tiny sliver of my personality actually enjoyed being wanted and the idea that I had to kiss whoever could pay was a hot fantasy.

If I had to split it out I would say the chorus in my head was made up of:

1% - Wild Ellen- the girl who actually liked the IDEA of being kissed even if it was by weirdos. She buffeted my courage. I needed her to get through this even if most of me didn’t like it.

Wild Ellen knew her nips were getting hard and her pussy was getting wet and actually kind of liked it. She just wished she had more control of the situation.

19% - Money Ellen – the girl who rationally saw this as a way to get the money to get out of this place and was willing to do it. We were already here - might as well do it and get it over with.

She was pragmatic and she told me that we were safe. That Ted and O.J. didn’t want anything really bad to happen to their money-makers. This would bruise my ego but I would get through this. Money Ellen was probably the calmest voice of reason amongst all the voices in my head.

30% - Good Girl Ellen – the girl I was before I ever came to the Buckman. She follows rules, she doesn’t talk to strangers, she does extra credit in math class and she would never kiss a boy until a few dates – and had not. Good girl Ellen had a code of honor that told her she had agreed to this and she could give herself permission to

50% - Scared/Humiliated Ellen – This is the loudest voice in my head who could only do this if her Aunt and cousins did it with her. She panicked and worried and fretted and allowed her butterflies to run free in her stomach and while she listened to all the other voices of reason in my head she was trying to do the least amount possible to comply.

She felt like anytime she showed guys parts of her body that she normally kept hidden – she was ‘losing’ something – although she couldn’t explain what that was.

The voices in my head continued to have a dialogue amongst themselves while Ryan talked to me. I don’t think any of the voices understood what he was trying to do here.

If he was trying to pick me up and turn me on then his lack of confidence wasn’t inspiring Wild Girl Ellen. He was talking her out of liking him the more he talked and she wondered why he didn’t just show her – instead of talking to her.

Money Ellen was fine with kissing him but she thought about charging him to keep talking about his feelings.

Good Girl Ellen felt sorry for him. He was a nice guy and she favored the underdog in situations like this. She wished he would act a little more like the Riggins boys though because she knew Wild Girl Ellen would like that.

Scared Ellen was already thinking about whatever humiliating thing she should be doing and putting together a list of all the different voices in her own head to over-analyze the feelings she was having.

“It isn’t like you stayed up late thinking about my kisses or wishing for them,” he shook his head as he put himself down.

“A swing and a miss,” Wild-Girl Ellen thought inside my head. I almost laughed.

“Don’t do that,” it was very unattractive for him to knock himself and I felt bad he was doing it because of my rejection. He had been perfectly confident before he met me and now I felt guilty I had something to do with his lack of self-esteem. I had enough problems to worry about than cheering him up, but I reached out and touched his shoulder gently. I smiled, “I’d kiss you for free – but Ted will punish me if I do.”

I brushed aside the thoughts I had of the voices in my head and tried to watch the wrestling match behind the crowd of rednecks while Ryan continued to reason with me.

“You know you don’t have to do this,” Ryan told me I could find some other way to make money.

“You know another way to make a few hundred dollars a day here at the Buckman do ya, Sir?” I answered him playfully. I had accepted I was doing this until Sunday most likely and it seemed strange for Ryan to try to talk me out of it.

“I don’t know,” Ryan suggested, “sell vacuum cleaners or candy or something. There has to be an easier way than this.”

“I don’t know how many people here will buy vacuum cleaners, Sir,” it seemed like wishful thinking on his part - and I was grateful for his concern. I found it equally odd that I was now defending the idea of doing what I was doing, instead of something more legitimate and less humiliating. “We don’t all have a rich uncle to stay with for the summer, Sir.” I explained that I was staying with my whore of an Aunt instead and Ryan accepted my point and made another of his own.

“I just saw you take off your clothes, hold your own ass cheeks apart and open and then spray funky water all over the garbage out of it to entertain some men,” Ryan sounded disgusted but he also described exactly what I did earlier – he had watched.

“And yet you still want to kiss me, don’t you?” I teased him before kissing him on the cheek flirtatiously and skipped off just in time to hear Savannah scream, “EAT IT BITCH!! YAH!” and the crowd cheering her on – she must have already taken down my Aunt.

The Wrestler was shouting “Know your role and shut your mouth!” and pointing out people to repeat “Shut your mouth!!” as if he had known all along Savannah would win and they were doubting him but no one was arguing with him – they had all been blown away by the struggle between mother and daughter.

Once I was able to make my way through the crowd to see it – Savannah was still on top of her mother. They were both completely coated in mud and exhausted. They were scratched up and bruised. Savannah was smiling sitting completely naked on her mother’s back while Crystal lay face down and defeated in the dirt.

Savannah jumped off my Aunt’s back and declared herself “Top Bitch FOR-EVVA!” and the dripping red-clay mud cascaded off her bare-tits while she smiled. There wasn’t anyone back at the pool except for a few lazy people who had decided not to walk over and watch.

Savannah had stripped her mother of her necklace as if she were taking it as a trophy when I walked up.

Conner prepared the two muddy cat-collars to reflect the new split for Savannah and her mom which looked something like this:

Current Split: (most recent)

10% Odd-Job’s cut

10% Ted’s cut

15% Crystal’s Cut

30% Savannah’s Cut –Top Bitch

10% My Cut – Bottom Bitch

20% Lloyd’s Cut

5% Conner’s Cut

0% Daisy’s Cut* -TBD at 5% from Ted or Conner

0% Catfish’s Cut* Supposed to be 5% from Ted

When my aunt lost the match, the Wrestler may have been yelling the loudest but there was no one laughing harder that Ted’s sister Daisy. The catty Haislip girls almost seemed sympathetic in comparison to Daisy’s delight at my Aunt’s loss.

“That dumb bitch agreed to another day of this? What is she going to do, do it all by herself out here without you other two bimbos and Lloyd?” she dispersed with the rest of the crowd back to the pool.

My Aunt picked herself up once everyone was gone and whisked away the mud. She smiled at Conner and asked him nicely, “Would you mind giving me a good washing, Sir?”

My brother dutifully obliged; and unlike the night before, when he washed her down by crimping the water hose, she bent over and held herself open so he had easy access to her body without complaint – or threat of bodily harm and chasing him around the yard!

Ted let us go back to business as usual after the event to give everybody a chance to cool down – and to count his money. He had made a sizable investment betting on Savannah apparently.

No one questioned she was feisty and had spunk – but Crystal had been the odds-on favorite. She was apparently well known for catfights and had snatched off a number of wigs from women who had a beef with her years ago.

April Haislip had actually bet a hundred dollars ON her arch-rival Crystal because she expected her to easily whip her daughter and expected her to be sitting on her head within a minute. “That was my fucking light bill,” I heard her lament.

I could have sworn I saw a slight trace of a smile on my Aunt’s lips when she overheard April complain to her daughter about losing the money. I might have just been imagining the old Crystal attitude because after letting Conner hose her clean of mud she thanked him with a kiss to the cheek, put on her wet bikini without complaint and sprung off to see what she could do to earn more money.

I smiled broadly at her and my Aunt smiled back at me and smacked my tit playfully before taking me by the hand and leading me over to grift a man begging, “Can we wash your car Sir? My niece and I fucked up and we have to wash cars until we earn enough to fix our mistakes!”

He bought right into her sweet sales pitch and we splashed and played together until Daisy called her away. “Sorry handsome,” she apologized to our trick, “I have to go, but my niece here will finish what we started,” she promised suggestively, and obediently answered Daisy’s summons.

I continued to wash the trick’s car and rub my tits and ass against his old Chevy while observing the rest of the pool party. I have to admit I am a bit of a people watcher. I love to observe strangers and how they interact so differently than I would with each other.

I overheard someone ask Donger, the blonde trailer park flasher, if he was from England. Savannah had told me Donger’s hairstyle was a “Skullet” – a tan bald patch with long stringy blonde hair extending down around his shoulders. I was more curious why Ding-Dong (as he was also known) had moved to the Buckman from some place exotic like Australia.

The giant of a man’s accent was clearly Australian; and it looked like he was used to getting this question, because he tilted his head with a good-natured smile and answered, “Straya, mate.”

Ding-Dong extended his hand in a friendly gesture.

The redneck asking him didn’t understand what he said, so he repeated, “You are a long way from England then aren’t you?”

“Australia!” Donger enunciated the word ‘Straya’ so the hillbilly could understand him.

Donger cheerfully elaborated while tilting his head “is the best fuckin' country in the world. If ya miss ya bus, you can just catch a kangaroo. Gotta look out for drop bears though, they're real sneaky cunts. And don't forget to feed ya fucking pet croc. Mate!”

“We beat your asses in the Revolutionary War though,” the redneck clearly didn’t understand a word Ding-dong had just said.

“Aye,” Donger sighed and agreed with him wistfully, “Cheers then.”

I wished I could ask him why he flashed people in the park and what made him want to peep in windows – it might explain why he left Australia for this dumpy trailer park.

It might be that his being a peeping tom is just an extreme form of people watching. Then again the first time I saw him doing it he was naked in my window and jacking off, so maybe I shouldn’t go ask him if he is a kindred spirit.

I couldn’t anyway – Ted called me away from soaping up the car and told Savannah to finish the job. I heard her complain, and then I heard a loud buzz, and she abruptly stopped complaining – I giggled.

“Yes sir?” I skipped over to where he was standing by the booth. “We have a big spender – seems he wants four kisses,” Ted had Ryan’s money and asked me if I could handle it.

“If that is what he wants, Sir,” I had kissed Ryan before – this was not going to be a surprise to me. I wasn’t afraid and after what I had done so far – I wasn’t even humiliated that I’d have to kiss him in broad-daylight in front of everyone.

Ted hung a wooden sign around my neck “Kisses 5 dollars – Polaroids 5 dollars extra, Tip me = tongue.”

My nipples sprouted and hardened under my bikini. I quietly chided “Wild Girl Ellen”. She may like the idea of kissing strangers – but when you have to do it in practice she is notoriously silent and lets panicked Ellen do all the talking. It didn’t stop my pussy from getting wet none the less – and my face turned red just thinking about that.

Ted designated me the kissing booth and used the microphone to hype me up.

“My rich niece from Cherry Lawn Estates and Country Club here loves to kiss boys to get them to do whatever she wants,” Ted exaggerated the name of my home by saying it was a country club. I suppose there is a golf course where we live, but it was just called “Cherry Lawn Estates”.

“She told me she wanted to take a little break from washing cars because she broke a nail,” I never said any such thing to Ted – who was holding up his pinky and making it imitating me freaking out about it. “I told her she can get her lazy, good-for nothing, rich-bitch tight ass over to the booth and sell kisses to the good, hard-working folks of the Buckman! She doesn’t run shit now that she is here!”

Ted sold them poker chips that they were to give me for kisses. The red ones were for a regular kiss, and blue was supposed to be a really good kiss – tongue and everything.

Ryan was my first customer and he had four blue chips in his hand.

“You don’t look happy to see these,” his confidence was shot. I was smiling at him and I thought I was being encouraging; but I think he saw through that and realized this was mostly just an act.

“I am – it’s at least twenty dollars closer to moving, Sir,” I answered honestly. “I don’t mind kissing you at all.”

“I don’t want you to not mind!” Ryan was insulted. I hadn’t intended to make it sound that way and he told me he wanted me to WANT to be kissed.

He took me in his arms and planted a kiss on my mouth. I parted my lips and licked his lip until he opened and let me flick my tongue in. I had practiced kissing enough the last week that I felt pretty sure of my technique.

He pressed his body against mine and held our kiss. I heard a guy behind him say not to slobber all over me and to hurry but Ryan took his time. I thought it was a better kiss than the one he gave me the day before.

He scanned my eyes as if searching for a reaction that I don’t think I could fake. I smiled at him reassuringly but he seemed disappointed and kissed me again. This time there was a little more passion and I honestly felt the tips of my nipples harden as they brushed against his shirt through the skimpy fabric of the swimsuit.

“That was much better than before,” I wanted to wipe my mouth because his kisses were wet but I smiled at him instead. I felt bad that it seemed I was the source of his insecurities and that I wasn’t reacting to him the way he thought I should. I didn’t want to jump up and down and lead him on like he was the world’s best kisser, but I thought about doing it.

“Much better?” once again Ryan took my encouragement to be judgment “I’ll show you BETTER!” he grabbed me angrily and planted a strong kiss on my lips. This time he wasted no time parting MY lips and sticking his tongue in my mouth. I tasted root beer and eggs – but allowed him to explore the inside of my mouth with his tongue.

I didn’t feel any tingles, heard no bells go off and at the same time – didn’t feel weird about kissing him at all. It was almost like kissing Conner if I had to do it.

That would be weird – I could imagine him showing up with a handful of blue chips and I’d be like, “Fuck off, Sir!”

I fantasized how that might be – while Ryan finished tonguing my teeth and slurping my mouth. He had started to get a slight erection – I could feel it through his black, skinny jeans. I was actually flattered. I had experienced this before when kissing men and usually on the first kiss!

“Wow,” I was actually impressed with him. “I wish you had kissed me like this yesterday, Sir!”

He handed me the final chip without a kiss, “Too bad bitch! You won’t get to find out what the fourth kiss would have been like!” and stormed off.

I smirked in confusion as he stalked off angrily. I wasn’t sure what reaction he had expected – boys can be confusing.

I smiled at a man twice my age that was waiting impatiently for Ryan to finish so he could hand me a red chip.

“Shit Sir,” I didn’t feel bad about pretending to be someone else with this guy the way I did Ryan, “Only a red chip? Well, I guess I won’t be able to pay off my Neimann Marcus charge card this way. Let’s get this over with.”

“You fucking bitch,” the man grumbled as he embraced me to plant a kiss on my mouth.

He had no way of knowing I was just pretending to be a snotty, ice-bitch – or that his kiss would not result in tongue unless I decided it would; and I wasn’t going to decide in his favor. I smiled at him in agreement – I guess I WAS a fucking bitch after all.