Chapter Forty

You could be the star of a show called, “Shit I don’t care about!”

The TV was playing an old movie Betty Grable movie from the 1940s. It was about a beautiful gold digger who was scamming millionaires in a hotel to make her rent money. She had her sister pretending to be her secretary and her Aunt pretending to be her maid. They vamped it up with these two handsome men that turned out to be just as broke.

I had to laugh because the main character had come up with a plan to pay their hotel bill this week and was asked by her sister, “What will we do NEXT week?”

She said, “We will just worry about next week – next week,” And that is exactly how our family operates.

Ted agreed with Crystal’s request to let his sister’s family stay here if she could get a bathroom break and instructed Conner, “Take these shit-factories to the bathroom and give them five minutes to use the toilet and five minutes to shave FULLY!”

Conner dutifully began unplugging the butt-plugs from the USB cords so we could walk to the bathroom. He was at least letting us remove them in the privacy of the bathroom which was much appreciated. He pulled the wires out at the base, where they connected to the AC adapter. This left the corded end attached to our butt plug so he could lead us around by them- like a slender, white, rubberized leash that was attached to us from our asses.

“Can’t,” Daisy’s son Damian held up a red cherry-bomb as we walked to the bathroom, “Toilet’s backed-up.”

Ted complained, “See? This shit always happens!” and Meth-Head Bill and Ted’s sister began to defend Damian and say they would fix the toilet and not to worry about it.

“Take them out behind the trailer – they can shit and piss behind Zeus and Ares’ pen,” Ted said as if telling Conner to pick up a loaf of bread and a gallon of milk at the store.

“Ted you aren’t going to shock me with your disgusting little games,” Daisy informed her brother that she knew he was trying to scare her off. I don’t think Ted realized he was, but maybe was doing it subconsciously – until she told him he was.

“This is how it is here now Daisy,” Ted insisted. “These girls need this treatment and discipline and we don’t have a fucking working toilet thanks to you!” Ted told his sister, “Don’t be a prude and put your nose up everyone’s ass and everything.” He let her know in no uncertain terms that he wasn’t going to let her judge him and his methods.

It was clear they had a long history together and knew each other very well. He knew he had to bluster and put his foot down to be taken seriously. She knew when he did that not to take him all that seriously – but for expedience she did any way. I think Ted knew that as well and was willing to accept it as long as he got his way.

“Oh please,” she shook her head, “Crystal and Savannah are only doing this because they lost a bet with you; and really if there was no money in it –they’d quit. If they had any fucking shame at all, they would not have sashayed their narrow-asses in here in front of Bill and my kids like they had something to prove!”

My impression had been Crystal and Savannah were stoically keeping their word to Bill and entering the house according to the rules. Daisy’s point was they should have at least protested, with her kids being there and seeing us naked – but then why didn’t Daisy protest us being naked a little harder?

I think from the way Ted was humoring her line of reasoning he might be wondering the same thing.

“I don’t know why Lloyd is letting you dress him like a girl - probably just for fun and I’ve never met this one,” she sniffed the air as I walked past and said, “Smells like a little rich bitch.”

I heard Ted, Daisy, Maw-Maw, and Bill carry on their heated discussion, as Conner lead us right out into the night air. The dogs began to bark as we approached their pen in the darkness with our only light coming from a flickering street lamp by the road.

Conner was going to ask Ted a question of clarification when he took us outside but Ted shut him down by saying “Conner, son – you could be the star of a show called ‘Shit I do not care about!” He told my brother to go figure it out – even though he just put my brother down, he added “I trust you.” Then he shut the door on us to keep arguing with his sister.

Conner led us around to the dog pen in the nude, with our USB- wires still attached to the butt plugs like they were leashes. I don’t know why, but I expected there to be something a little more like a toilet bowl out here – it was just the patchy crab-grass and dollar weed behind the trailer.

Dollar weed, in case you don’t know, is basically the ‘official grass’ of the Buckman lawns. It is hard to kill and grows in patches that look like tiny leafy lily pads. Lloyd called them “Titty weed” because they look like “green nipples”; but Savannah corrected him by punching him in the shoulder and calling it “Kermit weed”. This is a long-standing debate it sounds like they have had since early childhood.

“You can’t be fucking serious,” Savannah said to no one in particular as Conner chose a spot outside for us to relieve ourselves behind the barking dogs’ pen.

“I am supposed to remove your butt plugs?” Conner sounded very nervous and confused under the onslaught of dog barks. “If you will wait until I have them all out you can go together so that I can time you.”

“How about I just take mine out, because I am about to fucking explode cheese sticks and potato skins all over the fucking yard!” Crystal popped her butt-plug out without asking and squatted next to the fence and let out a satisfying “Ahhhhhh” as the sound of her excrement popped and crackled.

Savannah copied her mother observing, “At least the smell of dogshit and the garbage dump covers up the smell of girl-poop,” I heard her fart loudly once and then a tiny cute one – Lloyd began giggling. “Shut up, Lola!”

“Hey, I don’t think I am Lola anymore,” Lloyd removed his butt-plug despite Conner’s protestations and squatted a few feet away from the girls and began to piss and shit right in the grass next to a rusty old shed.

I was the only one left standing and I wasn’t going to wait for my brother to gingerly remove my butt plug if no one else did. It was dark, but we could all see each other squatting in the dark. I took my plug out and squatted down, but only had to pee.

I have not peed outdoors since I was a little girl while we were on a long stretch of highway and there were no gas-stations nearby. This was blowing my mind that my Aunt and cousins were able to do this with only minor chuckling and laughing and no real protest.

The only toilet we had was broken –and we had no car, so I guess there was really no other option at the moment. The neighbors were probably asleep, unless the dogs had woken them, and we were at least behind the trailer instead of out in front.

“Did anyone bring any fucking toilet paper?” Savannah chuckled her gallows humor.

“Ted said to use the garden hose,” Conner sounded angry he had been ignored as he tried to be heard over the dogs. Their barking had subsided somewhat, but they were excited we were out there and wanted to play. The two big husky dogs ran around friskily and let out a playful bark

“He did not,” my Aunt was clearly skeptical because we heard him say everything to Conner before we left.

“You can go back in the house and ask him,” Conner hit my Aunt with the water from the garden hose straight in the face after crimping it, “But you’ll be all wet!”

“Hey!!!” she put her hand up and chuckled through her frustration as she tried to finish squatting and close her eyes as the spray hit her.

“That is for forgetting to call me Sir,” Conner stopped the onslaught of water and crimped the hose again.

“I didn’t forget though,” Crystal implied she just chose not to do it. Conner sprayed her again forcefully, but my Aunt stood up and ran towards him.

He dropped the hose and retreated around to the other side of the dog fence. Crystal laughed at him when she got to the garden hose and picked it up. “Conner, hon?” she sighed and offered the hose still dripping with water out in her open hand.

She was being playful and laughing, once she established she was the lioness who could charge him and he was the braying jackal who she allowed to have control. I had seen her be respectful to my brother but always when Ted was around or in earshot. I couldn’t be sure if it was the cocktails tonight or just the mood she was in, but my Aunt seemed satisfied she had made a point and grinned in the dark moonlight.

“You can come back and spray me down, sugar,” she offered to my brother like she was trying to soothe a little cry baby and let him have his way. I think she wanted my brother to see he didn’t really run things and she didn’t have to do what he said – but could chose to if she wanted.

She might have just been drunk and feeling frisky as well.

“Fine,” Crystal turned to her son and told him to use the hose on her when Conner didn’t immediately jump at the chance.

“No,” Conner nervously insisted he be the one to do it, “I just need you to call me Sir in front of the others.”

“Yes Sir,” Crystal grinned impishly and bent over to touch her shins while looking over her shoulder at him walking up.

“You need to say it with respect or I’ll...,” Conner picked up the garden hose that was still running to spray down my Aunt.

“Or you’ll what, Sir?” Crystal’s face showed she wasn’t afraid of anything he could possibly do to her “Punish me? I got punished every fucking fifteen minutes today. My tits have been pinched, my ass has been spanked, I’ve been licked and poked – the only thing you could do worse than that is make me listen to you tell me about your fucking Pokémon videogame.”

I heard the splash of water hit her ass and she whinnied like a horse and her spine shivered as the cool water hit her, “That’s the spot – right there, sir.”

She was enjoying the water jet hitting her pussy and ass.

“I bet you are going to jack off thinking about this tonight, aren’t you Sir?” Crystal could be saucy and even bolder than her daughter when it came to just out-right saying something sexual.

“No way!” Conner reacted immediately, but even I could tell he was lying. He softened when she stared at him over her shoulder in disbelief and admitted “I might – I just don’t want Ted to know.”

“Are you worried you’ll have to spend the day as Ted’s little bitch like us, Sir?” Crystal’s voice dripped with contempt for Conner’s concern. I thought she may have had a little too much alcohol tonight and wasn’t filtering herself the way she normally did. She could be condescending normally, but she usually hid it under a sugary veil of sweetness - she was being outright apathetic right now towards Conner.

“Hey – how about hosing the rest of us down, instead of staring up my mom’s asshole all fucking night, Sir?” Savannah bent over next to her mother and gave my brother a hard time but she was clearly joking with him.

“You haven’t been here more than a week, and already you have seen me do things it would take at least two weeks for me to do around a boyfriend,” Crystal giggled about the fact Conner had seen us relieving ourselves and added, “I bet you didn’t think girls fart, did you Sir?”

My Aunt’s ass trumpeted a flat-note of a fart right as my brother was about to say something sarcastic in response. He sprayed her back down and she pleaded, “Just not the hair, okay Sir? I finally got it dry and it’s going to curl up again if you do.”

Lloyd got in line next to his sister while Conner sprayed down Savannah. She wiggled her butt impatiently while he hosed her down. “That’s enough on the butthole –get my pussy, Sir.”

The girls were talking to Conner like they were in charge, even though they let him have control. I felt kind of bad for Conner not getting even the pretense of their respect but he was letting them get away with it.

“Get your wet little twat over here, Ellen,” my Aunt was being facetious as she ordered me to stand in line with the rest of them. “We all had to do it – you do too!”

“I only peed Sir,” I warned my brother that he didn’t have to clean out my butt – just my pussy as I took my place for the strangest bidet of my life.

“That’s going to be fun for you in the morning,” Lloyd reminded me that the bathroom would not be fixed in the morning and we’d probably have to repeat this performance, only this time it would be in the light of day.

I was about to say something sassy and funny, when we heard laughter coming from the bushes right behind the trailer near an old rusted shed.

“Come on out of there Donger,” Savannah knew instantly it was him and added a “Sir” when she looked over her shoulder at Conner. He was also known as “Ding-Dong” around the park and answered to just about any name. I suppose it makes sense that a person would have two nicknames. I’ve been called Juicy-Lucy by people I don’t even remember seeing at the race and I hoped the words had smudged off my ass-cheeks.

“No, I dun’ wanna,” Donger responded playfully. I thought he might be slow-witted by looking at him, but he was just Australian. His accent reminded me instantly of Crocodile Dundee.

He stepped out despite his initial protest with a broad grin across his big face. He stood well over 6 feet tall and in the dark reminded me of Frankenstein’s monster approaching us.

“It is a five dollar fee to peep on us, Sir,” Crystal was joking sarcastically. She and her daughter were not surprised at all to see Donger hiding in the bushes and Lloyd even smiled at him brightly.

“Crikey. Not blooming likely,” he reached in his pocket and fished around unsuccessfully. He was wearing only a pair of corduroy shorts and some running shoes. His broad chest was very tan and muscular, and in the darkness his blonde hair almost looked white. He was bald except for his very long locks of blonde hair that hung down to his shoulders around the edges of his head.

“Do you want to ask Ted, Sir?” Crystal was teasing him and only half-serious. “You can peep all you want and we won’t chase you off – but you have to pay the fee.”

“I would rather spy on ya from the bushes without permission anyway – it’s more fun that way,” Donger’s accent came across with a devil-may-care mischief that one might associate with a young Mel Gibson.

“You can whip off your shorts when you peep on us,” Crystal offered back – this time more seriously.

His smile deepened – he clearly liked the idea of exposing himself to us; but he was skeptical of Crystal, “Does this count for always or just tonight?” he asked rhetorically as he approached the door and knocked to confirm with Ted.

“What the fuck?” Ted stomped over to the screen door, “Conner – you don’t have to fucking knock on the door just...” Ted realized it was Donger and stopped talking. Ted is stocky and broad shouldered, but stands more than a full head shorter than Donger and had to look up at the big giant of a man.

“Heya Ted,” Donger’s voice was excited as he greeted him at the door.

“Ding Dong, I don’t have time for your bullshit right now,” Ted was about to walk back into the trailer and didn’t even say goodbye to Donger when he dismissed him.

“Crystal said I can peep on her for a Stewie Diver?” Donger offered hopefully and Ted turned back around.

“What the fuck is a Stewie Diver?” Ted came back to the door with interest.

“A fiver,” Donger offered up a five dollar bill he had crumpled in his pocket.

“You want to look in our windows and look at my teenage step-daughter and niece, and my wife naked for just five dollars?” Ted sounded offended, like Donger should be ashamed of even thinking such thoughts, but he wasn’t angry.

“Well, yes,” Donger extended the money, “and she said I could be naked when I do it too.”

“Five dollars hardly seems worth talking about,” Ted replied shrewdly “you are going to peep anyway though.”

“Yeah, but this way you cannot chase me off or report me,” Donger smiled at the idea, but requested Ted pretend he might anyway, “It adds a little danger and surprise.”

Ted shrugged not understanding what turned the man’s screws but shrugged that he didn’t care either. He took the money hastily and told him to JUST look and through just the windows. Donger seemed satisfied with this arrangement and thanked Ted profusely. He whipped off his shorts and threw them on the ground revealing a very large, flaccid, hairless cock – the kind one might expect a small pony to have.

Ted told Conner to get us inside and my brother said he had to put our butt plugs back in.

“Actually,” Ted countermanded my brother generously, telling us that he was going to be kind and let us recharge the plugs overnight – “we could leave them out.” He was being uncharacteristically generous as he offered Crystal a cigarette break and even lit it up for her.

Naturally, my aunt took the cigarette – but she was waiting for Ted to ask for something.

He smiled at her once we walked back into the trailer. I could see Donger’s face pressed up against the glass of the living room window right behind Maw-Maw’s head. She was still watching ‘Moon’s over Miami’ and had checked-out of the conversation between Ted and his sister.

“Daisy is going to help out around the pool for 5% of the profit,” Ted sounded almost as unsure as Conner when he pitched the idea of her taking a cut of the money.

“Sir?” Crystal took a long, indulgent puff but sounded worried, “That is our money and if we have to split it another way then we’ll all have less of it!”

Ted told Conner to get the butt-plugs in their USB adapter and then said he was thinking about just giving Conner’s cut to his sister. “Daisy said she would help promote things, assist me in selling at the table and she REALLY needs the money.”

I was immediately hurt, but Conner didn’t seem to be offended at all. Ted’s sister looked adamant that this decision had already been made and that we were simply being informed of a new change in management.

“Conner can still help out and stuff – you aren’t really helping for the money? I mean you like looking at your Aunt’s sweet tits and savory ass don’t you?” he could see my brother looked disappointed and added, “You can be Assistant to my Assistant Manager – how is that?”

“I think that is kind of shitty, Sir” Savannah said exactly what she was thinking without concern for any pretense of submission.

“Yeah,” Crystal didn’t like Ted’s sister one bit, “Conner can be a little rug rat but he is OUR rug rat – why take his five percent?”

“That is all our five percent and right now Conner has been getting half as much as O.J. and I and hasn’t had to do squat really, compared to us running shit,” Ted defended the idea and didn’t try to force it on us. He could be pretty mean-spirited and sadistic, but right now he needed or at least wanted our buy-in and approval.

“I told you Ted,” Daisy interrupted the family discussion, “She wants Danville’s side to get all the money, but when it comes to YOUR family she doesn’t give two shits.”

“WE are the ones who are doing all the work washing cars and showing our asses – if you get your lazy butt out there and can bring in some business – that would be different.”

Ted immediately shot that idea down before his sister could. It was interesting that he seemed to delight in my brother inspecting me, or Savannah and Lloyd training together in front of everyone; but when it came to his own sister, he acted like we cannot be serious.

She screwed up her nose and scrunched it. Her face reminded me of porky pig as she shook her head, “I don’t DO that kind of thing!”

“I remember when you were a teenager you used to roam around the park with your ass hanging out and flashing those tits – you used to be a pretty little heartbreaker,” Crystal had apparently gone to high school with the Gaylords. I got the impression Crystal had been a senior when Ted and Daisy were still sophomores, but when Crystal told stories about her past she always made herself the younger one.

“That was when I had a hot body to show off!” Daisy refused to even consider helping in the car wash as one of us. It was hard to tell if her concern was that she wasn’t good looking enough or if she felt she couldn’t be seen that way anymore. “I have to be a good role model for my kids!” she explained.

“Shit,” Crystal didn’t buy her excuse, “You married a meth-addict and you brought them here to our trailer knowing how WE are!” Crystal emphasized the fact we were all naked, but she may have meant how crazy and unusual we were.

“That is YOU!” Daisy explained her reasoning was that what her husband or we did does not reflect upon her behavior and that she was now conservative in how she dressed and behaved.

I wanted to say, “It seems to me, from what I heard you tell Ted, you mismanage your money, won’t work and if you do get a job you end up getting fired for scamming the owner. You have in the past brought your kids around known drug-dealers and prostitutes looking for a place to live because you lost yours – and now you are here with us looking for a place to live. You don’t discipline your kids – they are running around poking our tits and breaking everything in the house; and you don’t say a word about it other than to defend their actions. You call that being a good role model because you dress a little less slutty than you did 15 years ago? You have a double-standard and a fucked up way of looking at things!”

I didn’t say any of that though. I thought it vehemently; and if she had ESP then she would have known exactly how I felt.

Instead, I listened to Crystal and her argue until Ted reminded Crystal she was his bitch until Sunday and she had to call his sister Ma’am threatening her with a spanking if she didn’t. My Aunt actually behaved herself after that, but still openly opposed his sister’s involvement in our little car-wash grift, reminding him about the hard times we had fallen on.

Daisy’s characterization of her kids was that they were always innocent and shouldn’t be exposed to any undue influences when she was accused of being permissive and lazy with them. Crystal called her out on this bullshit but Daisy guffawed and said, “Well they have internet on their cell phones!”

“They EACH have cell phones?!” Crystal was amazed they could afford cell-phone service for each and every one of them, but had not had reliable transportation or a place to stay in months.

Daisy’s kids seemed to bristle at being discussed this way. Gene took out his cell phone as if to validate his mother’s point that she wanted to shelter them but they already had internet so our nudity wasn’t that big of a deal to them.

“Rule 34 bitches,” Daisy’s creepy eldest son Gene pointed to the woman on the TV screen and asked Maw-Maw who she was.

“That is Betty Grable, Gene!” Maw-Maw seemed impressed that her grandson showed an interest in classic movies and explained that the beauty on the screen came from a time of glitter and glamour long since forgotten by modern Hollywood. “Betty was celebrated for having the most beautiful legs in Hollywood and pantyhose makers used her measurements as their ideal size for a young woman. She helped motivate the boys overseas by posing in an iconic bathing suit poster pin-up that could have hurt her career but it was the most patriotic thing she could do at the time.” Maw-Maw was about to reveal the location of her Betty Grable tattoo, when she realized her grandson had long since stopped listening.

Gene and his brother and sister were gathered around his iPhone5 and grinning at the picture he had searched on. Gene’s sister Sarah sounded disappointed noting, “She has a butt like Miley Cyrus!”

“Those are some tits!” Damian who was in a room with three completely topless girls seemed excited to see some in the search results on the phone “Who the fuck is Rita Grable?”

Sarah punched him on his arm, “That must be her sister, dummy.”

Damian punched back “Duh” and they began to punch each other back and forth, until Gene made them both hit each other by grabbing them and saying, “Why are you hitting each other – why are you hitting each other?” and they forgot what they were searching for on the phone.

I wondered if they weren’t shocked by how we behaved and what we were doing – what exactly was it that Daisy WAS afraid of them seeing or doing, but I was too afraid to ask. I assumed in the discussion Crystal might ask or whatever it was – maybe I should be sheltered from it too! I wasn’t too much older than they were after all.

I started to realize how much more mature and possibly jaded I had become in the past week of living in the Buckman that now, when I compared myself to Daisy’s kids, I had assumed they were too immature to understand.

Ted was eventually able to negotiate his sister’s family staying with us over night. He told Crystal she was going to “get it tonight!” when they got in the bedroom and she looked like she was actually looking forward to “getting it”.

“Daisy, Bill and the Kids will stay in Savannah’s room,” Ted explained over the moaning protests of Savannah and Lloyd. Ted held up a finger to answer their protests and added “I won’t make you share a room with my sister and her kids!” as if he were doing us a favor by kicking us out of our room. “You four will sleep out in the living room with Maw-Maw,” that didn’t sound good at all. Until Ted pointed out, technically, he could make us sleep outside with the USB plugs up our asses on the wooden deck.

Ted had managed to teach me another lesson about salesmanship of bad ideas that night.

He consistently offered something that sounded bad, but added that he was preventing something even worse. He told us we could have been tied up on the lawn with the USB plug on his orange extension cord up our asses, to make the bitter medicine of sleeping in the front room seem more palatable.

He had also promised Crystal he would let her sleep in her own bed with him – as she always did, instead of making her being with the rest of us. Savannah reminded him SHE was top bitch and should get preferential treatment; until Ted pointed out that meant sharing his bed, and she seemed happy enough to sleep in the living room on a pallet of blankets on the floor with the rest of us.

Ted had also made even the act of shitting and pissing outside like animals not seem as bad when he had pointed out he could have rubbed our noses in it and made us count how many kernels of corn were there. “Just be thankful I am not a sadistic pervert like your last boyfriend!” he told Crystal, and she nodded in AGREEMENT!

As for Daisy – well she was smugly satisfied to install herself and her kids in the trailer, and move into the backroom that had once belonged to Savannah. Once she had her kids on the mattresses we used to sleep on, she also insisted on taking the bed that had been set aside for my parents because of her bad back, “since they aren’t here anyway.”

She wished us all a happy good night and told us we were all going to be really happy the next day with how much she brought to the table.

Ted had convinced Crystal to wait and see in the morning if that statement was true and the rest of us let Crystal speak for us. Ted had offered a bet of some kind to be performed at the pool that seemed to satisfy Crystal. He couldn’t, or wouldn’t, tell us the details; but if we lost, then Ted would give up half of his own earnings to his sister (5% stake). If we won then Conner would lose his cut of the money and give it to Ted’s sister.

Crystal snarkily said quietly to Tedd “Just tell her to get her fat-ass out of here.” as stakesfor the bet, but Ted wouldn’t agree to it. Daisy shouted from down the hallway, “I HEARD THAT!”

“I know you did you fat, little, bitch!” Crystal answered back but added, “Ma’am!” quickly to the end of her sentence, to avoid another punishment.

Ted had had enough arguing for one night and led Crystal willingly into their bedroom right after that.

“Shit, mom just wants that dirty old perv to fuck her right,” Savannah observed with slight disdain for her mom after they left.

It was late and I was still a little buzzed from the cocktails we had earlier – so strangely, I felt at peace with the chaos that was unfolding around me. I thought when I moved in here and had lost all of my things the first night it couldn’t get much worse. I was consistently proven it could be, as even the one room I shared with my cousins had been taken from me. I couldn’t do anything but smile about life delivering me this lesson and wondering if in another life I had been someone who kicked dogs or stole candy from babies and that’s why this was all happening to me.

Maw-Maw pulled some gum out of the rollers in her hair and initially cursed Damian as a “Jackanapes”. She didn’t even need to wonder what mischievous sneak put gum in her hair, she KNEW it was her grandson; and yet, after her initial anger subsided, she put the gum in her mouth and began to eat it with a giggle about that. “Scampy little cracker – how did he get that in my hair after I explicitly warned him not to; and watched every move he made!”

She doted on Damian of all her grandchildren and in her eyes, even when he did wrong – he could do no wrong. I wondered if she felt that way about Ted or Daisy as well.

She saw that I was watching her from the floor and she looked at me with scorn and warned me that I should get some sleep.

“Gramma,” Damian came back into the room with an innocent look on his face.

“Yes my child?” Maw-Maw offered still chewing the gum she had to painfully extract from her hair.

“I just wanted to say good night,” he extended his arms to wrap around her in a hug. She seemed wary at first, but he added, “I have a confession to make – I put gum in your hair and I know that was a bad thing and I am so sorry – I won’t never do it again.”

She opened her jiggly fat arms and let the boy come and hug her. When he was done, she asked him if he used the hug to get more gum in her hair.

“I did, but this time it was sissy’s gum and not mine,” he replied impishly. “We won’t never do that again!” he promised.

“Git!!” she laughed a deep belly laugh adding, “Git back into your room or I’ll tell your mama what you did!!”

Daisy shouted from inside my mom’s bedroom “I could hear!! Damian – you listen to your Maw-Maw!!”

And that was that. Damian went back into “His room” that used to be “our room” after it had been “Savannah’s room”.

The old 1940s Technicolor movie Maw-Maw was watching was winding down and she told Lloyd to flick off the TV and the lights and for us to “Stop farting around and go to bed.”

The living room was quite a bit smaller than Savannah’s room because of all the furniture and clutter in the room. Nelly Jr. took the smaller couch and Maw-Maw took the longer one.

We had some dirty comforters on the green-shag carpet on the floor and no pillows. We started out each in our own region of the floor but by the morning the four of us were tangled up together.

Current Split: (most recent)

10% Odd-Job’s cut

10% Ted’s cut

20% Crystal’s Cut

25% Savannah’s Cut –Top Bitch

10% My Cut – Bottom Bitch

20% Lloyd’s Cut

5% Conner’s Cut

0% Daisy’s Cut* -TBD at 5% from Ted or Conner