Chapter Thirty-One

You mess with me – you mess with the whole trailer park!

“Ellen get your magnificent asshole over here and meet Mr. Hooker,” Ted demanded, while holding a twenty dollar bill the man had recently paid to feed me.

“It’s actually Dr. Hooker,” the distinguished gray-haired gentleman with a trim beard corrected him. “But I don’t stand on formality – you can call me James.” He smiled excitedly at me, even though I was coated in wet-Slushee and I probably looked a mess.

“She can call you Sir,” Ted informed him that I wasn’t allowed to be on a first name basis with my betters and that TODAY I was learning humility.

Dr. Hooker asked what I wanted to eat “You can pick four things and despite it being warm – I hope you don’t mind – I’ve got some milk for you. I think it’s important to stay hydrated in this hot sun, don’t you?”

James clearly didn’t understand how this game was played and was offering me a choice I didn’t expect. I had been so used to having my food decided for me at these lunches after three days that I wasn’t sure what to pick.

I was so flattered and excited to have been chosen by this well-mannered guy and to see that he was a big spender I was beaming awkwardly like a 12 year old who just met the lead singer of One Direction. “I don’t get to choose sir,” I told him excitedly as if this was good news for me, “The idea is you get to pick whatever you want to feed me and I will eat it like a good girl.”

“See,” Ted explained the backstory, “this is my niece from the big-city. She is a little rich-bitch, who is used to the finest things like caviar and Delmonte green beans instead of just generic. We are trying to straighten her out since she moved in with us but watch this here,” Ted motioned for me to turn around and said, “Bend over, slut!”

I did as I was told and I did it with a big smile on my face. I was looking over at my Aunt and cousin and their line was down to 1 or 2 guys. They were coated in milk down their face; and while they seemed determined, they also looked tired. They had been in competition with one another to see who could make more money.

I thought it was interesting how my Aunt could go from being so sassy and surly to down on her knees and holding her throat open for a stranger to put a banana in her mouth – but money is a strong motivator. I think she would have sooner shoved the banana up these men’s asses than let them do it for free.

I wanted very much to keep up with them and earn as much profit as they were. I looked up at Dr. Hooker with a big smile on my face while I stuck my ass out at Ted and asked “Do you want me to pull down my bottoms, Sir?”

“No I do not slut,” Ted played butt-bongos on my ass by slapping them like two drums “You see how eager she is to show her asshole and let anyone who tells her to bend over to touch her?” Ted played a steady rhythm on my ass while I nodded in agreement to his statements.

“Yes, I do see that,” Dr. Hooker’s expression was slightly patronizing but he waited for Ted to explain further.

“So we take her down to the pool and make her wash cars and get a taste of this medicine and where it leads to be a little whore like that. She is supposed to be learning not to want to be like this. We are doing our best and I guess a doctor like you would be better able to help by teaching her a lesson.”

“I’d quite like that,” Dr. Hooker stroked his neatly trimmed beard and winked at me.

“By the way doctor,” Ted stopped drumming to ask for free medical advice “I’ve got this nasty fungus growing under one of my toes and I think it may have spread to one of my ears. Can you give me a pur-skip-shun for that?” he added as an afterthought, “With some Vicodin in it for the pain.”

The Doctor chuckled and explained he wasn’t one of those kind of doctor’s. “I am a professor of literature but long since retired.”

“So why did you get a medical degree then to teach litratch...” Ted fumbled the word literature and settled for, “English class?”

“It’s a bit hard to explain,” Dr. Hooker seemed amused and looked at me knowing that I understood he had received his Ph.D. in advanced literature and language studies. “I would suggest you go to a clinic for that thing you mentioned. If the lady doesn’t mind that I pick, then I’ll take one of each – a hot dog, a carrot, a banana and a handful of grapes.”

“Ted answered, “Sure. Here Ellen. Take this stuff and kneel next to your aunt and cousin where I can keep an eye on you.” He turned to the doctor and asked, “Sure you can’t give me a pur-skip-shun of Vicodin Doc? If you change your mind then maybe we can work out a deal.?

Dr. Hooker grinned at him and assured him he’d think about it and then shook his head as soon as he and I were not talking to Ted.

“I am visiting family here,” Dr. Hooker explained that he happened by and was so glad he stopped to see what we were doing. “You seem so familiar to me – but I haven’t taught university in many years so I am not sure where I would have seen you.”

He spoke with a slightly southern accent and the acquired wisdom of learned books and years of real life experience.

I beamed with pride, and stuck out my chest and chin further, that he thought I was a college student. “Actually Sir,” I admitted honestly, “I am still in high school.”

He considered me for a long moment and then told me we had better get me fed so that the next person can have a turn. He motioned to my Aunt and Savannah who had one or two guys waiting to shove a carrot or hot dog in their mouth.

“Actually Sir,” I was starry-eyed at how nice and different this gentleman was. “As you can see - I don’t have much of a line. I am glad you picked me!”

“I don’t understand that,” he shook his head “You are so different than everyone else around here. You seem genuine and honest. I hardly believe you are spoiled rotten.”

“Oh I am sir,” I played snooty with my tone, “I’ve the finest tutors at Cherry Lawn Estates and I am used to showing my ass to get whatever I want. I’ve never had discipline or boundaries in my entire life and I am actually learning so much from this!”

He considered me again before speaking. “That is the first lie I think you have told to me since we began talking,” he fed me the banana disdainfully while continuing, “I think you ARE learning from this but the rest was all hooey- care to try again?”

I swallowed the banana on my knees. I put my hands behind my head voluntarily without being told and pushed my tits out. I felt intensely embarrassed for having been caught in my lie.

“It is a long story, sir,” I admitted with a sigh.

He told me to wait there for a moment and went and handed Ted a fifty dollar bill before returning with some more food. “You have time – go ahead and tell me your story. I love stories. I made a living teaching people how to tell them and I feel you have one to tell.”

I quickly explained how we came from Cherry Lawn after losing our home, and we lost everything once we got here. I explained how my Aunt started this to make money quickly and that it quickly blossomed into this spectacle with Ted taking over after today’s race.

I could see a growing erection in his nicely creased trousers but he didn’t say a word. He let me talk and fed me hot-dogs, bananas, carrots and grapes. He was going to let me drink my own milk, but Ted insisted we not use our hands to eat to learn a lesson and I nodded it was okay. He managed to get most of it right in my mouth.

“You know I didn’t believe at first you lived in Cherry Lawn – that is too much of a coincidence,” Dr. Hooker told me he lived there too. “I’ve probably seen you there!”

Oh god, I had been doing all of these humiliating things safe in the knowledge none of this would get back to my friends and neighbors living in Cherry Lawn who thought of me as sweet, little Ellen Tinkle, the studious good girl and girl scout.

“Do you know a girl named Jamie Taylor at your high school?” he asked me – his eyes twinkling with excitement.

“No sir,” I explained that I thought she was a popular senior girl and cheerleader but that she ran in completely different circles. “I am a freshman and next year I’ll probably have to be a Buckman Predator in 10^th grade.”

“That is so unfortunate,” he smiled reassuringly, “You have more in common with her than you know. You would find her to be a kindred soul in doing anything for your family, no matter how difficult it may be. Now open wide for some more of this carrot.”

Ted diverted someone who didn’t want to wait until Dr. Hooker was finished with me and sent him over to Crystal.

Doctor Hooker continued, “I am sorry,” he apologized, “my standing here listening to your story unfold may have cost you a little business.”

“It’s okay Sir,” I told him it was really refreshing to meet someone as interesting as him and would hope he stays to let us wash his car.

“How much of this is a sales act and how much of this is real?” he asked dreamily, before trying to adjust his cock without anyone noticing. I was at waist level to him and saw him do it whether he wanted me to or not. He didn’t wait for my answer before saying he’d rather not know how much was an act and agreed to the car wash.

“Do you mow lawns?” he asked as he finished loading my mouth with grapes. I looked over at Ted, “Sir, do I mow lawns?”

I was actually hoping Ted would say yes! I have never mowed a lawn in my life. We had a lawn service that trimmed our yard neatly all the time.

He considered it for a moment and nodded “might come you do,” but explained he’d have to hear the money and it would have to be after 5pm when we finished here.

“I might just set up a little present for my family then – if all three of you are available for lawn care,” he smiled. He asked me where my mother and father were and how they felt about what I was doing.

“They could never know I am out here like this, Sir!” I whispered aghast at the idea.

“In that you are different than your counter-part Jamie Taylor,” he didn’t explain but I got the impression her parents were aware of how hard she was trying to help the family and supported it. I was strangely envious of that for the first time.

“They would probably lose their mind if they found out I am under bitch training down at the pool like this, sir!” I re-iterated.

“You are doing it for them and the money is going to the family?” I confirmed it was and then he asked, “I don’t understand why you are ashamed to tell them if you are willing to tell the rest of the world.”

“I wasn’t sure the rest of the world included Cherry Lawn and them, Sir,” I answered coyly – unwilling to own up to my fear of exposure to my parents and friends back home.

“Those are the people who might be proud of you the most, for your willingness to make sacrifices of your pride,” he made me swallow some banana after he said that.

“They would think I am a failure. I was an honor student and a goody-two shoes back home. They wouldn’t be proud of me doing this, Sir,” I was fairly certain he should see this.

Dr. Hooker was taken aback. He had often considered me for what felt like a full ten seconds before choosing his words – but this was more like thirty seconds. “There is no shame in failures. Failures can teach you things you cannot have learned any other way. Everyone fails – it is what you do afterwards and what you take away from it that defines your measure.”

He was much wiser than I had even imagined and that made sense to me. I found myself looking at failure very differently for the first time.

I still wasn’t prepared for my mom and dad to learn what I was doing – I doubted they would be as understanding as Doctor Hooker.

Dr. Hooker kissed me on the forehead and told me he would go sit in his car to wait for his wash. “You have a line now and I’ve done my best to discipline you!” he declared with the friendliest smile and the least serious expression, “Do you think you are going to behave now?”

I smiled back at him and shook my head no.

“That is what I thought!” Dr. Hooker raised a finger up dramatically and turned to the person behind him. “I have tried to humble this shameless Callet, but she has so far resisted my efforts to tame the shrew! Don’t let her bookish manner bedevil you. She acts sweet and adorable some times to gain your pity, but in truth she is; and I implore you to stop her from bewhoring herself at such a young age with whatever aid and discipline you can engage in.”

The person standing behind him probably understood about 50% of what was said as I barely understood most of those words. He had said it with flourish and such gravity that the meaning of the words were clear enough that you could understand them, just in how he said them.

He smiled and winked at me with pleasure. He bent down before leaving and whispered in my ear “Play-acting can be such fun. I thank you for the story and I thank you for the opportunity to share your time. I believe you are destined for much greater things - certainly a career as a writer would be one of them.”

I was surprised that he said such wonderful things in my ear. I looked up at him with my eyes full of pride and with a renewed sense of purpose.

“You dirty old man!” I shouted in response to his whisper, “You can’t spank my ass because I haven’t done anything wrong!” then I held my hand over my mouth as if I had said something wrong. “I am so sorry I forgot to call you Sir! If Ted hears that I did I will get in trouble – please don’t tell him Sir!”

“I will consider it,” he laughed but said as he walked away, “If I let you get away with being disrespectful – how will you learn? I will leave instructions with your Uncle Ted on how I think you should receive that education.”

The next person to feed me was nothing like the Doctor. He was just a regular man in his thirties with no particularly defining features other than a black shirt that read you mess with me – you mess with the whole trailer park and a big gap in his teeth.

“I’ll spank your ass for sure,” he promised when Doctor Hooker left for his car.

“I didn’t forget to say Sir to you though, Sir!” I teased him. My nipples were still hard and the Slushee had dried in my hair.

I felt a super-soaker hit me in the back of the head and force my face forward. It was such a surprise I found myself shouting “Holy Fuck! You asshole!” which was completely not my nature – at least it didn’t used to be.

I turned and saw it was Conner with a super soaker standing next to the brunette girl with long hair who was close to his age. They were both giggling. “Conner Sir! You are a fucking ahole for doing that.”

“Ted,” he sprayed me in the face again with a long hard squirt of luke-warm water and asked, “Tell my sister to let me spray that Slushee out of her hair!” I spit out the plastic-tasting water that had managed to land in my mouth.

“Don’t waste water,” Ted shot down Conner’s attempt to have fun at my expense. I actually felt bad for Conner with how dismissive Ted was – even though I didn’t’ want to get shot in the head with a super-soaker. “They’ll get washed down when they finish lunch.”

Ted was right – the man in front of me dumped a warm Dixie-cup of milk onto my head, without even waiting for me to open my mouth to get my attention.

“Sorry Sir,” I turned back to my trick and let him feed me.

I did two more feedings and I was starting to get very full. We were to eat until they ran out of food or money and we had little choice in that. I was renewed with energy to behave as over-the-top and thankful as I could for the men who chose to feed me.

I think a lot of it had to do with Dr. Hooker’s words, which I reflected upon; but also in trying to catch up with my Aunt and Savannah. They had a lot of guys who only fed them one thing but I had several who fed me two or three. I think they were counting total customers and not total dollars as victory though.

“You don’t need any more food,” Savannah belittled her mother, “Your ass is too fat as it is Jigga-Butt!”

“Jigga-Butt?” Crystal feigned mock outrage at the insult, “If I was still in charge of you I wouldn’t let you talk to me like that!”

“But you aren’t EVEN in charge of your own daughter are you?” Ted interrupted their squabbling. “You lost authority over her because you don’t know what the fuck you are doing and how to control her!”

“I lost authority over her Sir,” Crystal corrected “because I made a bet with the devil and you won after you stacked the deck! When this is all over I am going to...,” she was about to promise her revenge but was prompted to hold her mouth open for someone to stick a carrot in.

“I fucking hate carrots,” she chewed and continued, “shove these carrots up all y’all’s asses!”

“Show me how you would,” Ted dared her without backing down and being intimidated.

When my aunt didn’t have a snappy response for that immediately after his order – he clarified. “I want you to stand up, turn around, pull your swimsuit to the side and let this gentlemen stick that carrot right up your ass the way you’d shove it up ours if you don’t get to keep acting like a bitch.”

“It was just a figure of speech, sir,” she swallowed. I could honestly not tell if she had accidentally forgotten she was under discipline or she had been acting the part because she sounded exactly like she did around the house before we started this when she said it.

Ted looked at her and said with a very serious face, “I am not repeating my order. If we have no ARGUMENT – then we have no PROBLEM.”

Crystal sighed and asked if she could at least wet the carrot with her mouth.

“Oh you want him to spit on your asshole as well?” Ted asked mockingly like she was a big baby.

“Actually,” Crystal sucked the entire length of the carrot and looked right at Ted while letting it slip down her throat effortlessly to the man’s fingers, “yes, that would be nice, Sir.”

She turned around after having left a coat of slobber on the carrot and pulled her suit to the side to display her asshole.

“I can spit on it?” the man asked Ted for confirmation. He was uneasy and nervous.

“I sure as fuck won’t,” Ted responded and told him to let her guide it in. All attention was on Crystal now. We had collected almost a dozen people who were hanging around and watching, not including the four hangers-on in the V.I.P section who never left. We also had at least six cars that had already queued up for car-washes when we were done.

The man reluctantly spit on my Aunt’s bare asshole and let a long line of drool drip down on to it. I was instantly reminded of the long, wistful gossamer line of cum that was hanging between my legs from my arousal.

“I can stick this in her ass?” the man asked Ted for another confirmation.

“Yes,” Ted chuckled. “Unless you want to eat it instead?”

The man stood behind my Aunt and touched the tip of the carrot to her asshole and began to line it up – commenting about how tight it is.

“Are you being a tight ass, Dear?” Ted asked my aunt the way a TV sitcom father asks his wife to pass the bread at dinner. “Loosen up that asshole so he can show us what it would be like when you shove carrots up our asses.”

“How far can I shove it in?” the man asked while my Aunt bit her lip and closed her eyes.

“For god fucking sakes, Sir,” Savannah asked if he would just hurry up already and do it.

“Savannah get up and show him how it is done,” Ted chided her that she was a natural pain in everyone’s ass.

Savannah paused for a moment. I don’t think she anticipated being asked to do that. She had been flirty and playful near her mom and we had passed life-savers together but they had been on opposite sides of one another and their lips hadn’t touched.

“Move out the way, Sir” Savannah popped up from kneeling and approached her mother’s ass cheeks after nudging the insecure trick who paid out of her way. “You ready for this mom?”

“Call her Jigga-Butt!” Ted insisted on the name that was smudged in lipstick on Crystal’s ass cheeks.

“Whatever,” Savannah seemed reluctant but she worked the carrot into her mother’s asshole. Crystal said nothing but she pulled her cheeks apart to make the process easier.

Savannah worked it in and out slowly and then there was a small friipp of escaping air. “God-damnit, Jigga-Butt – don’t fart on me!” Savannah’s demand elicited laughter from the crowd watching the daughter shove the carrot up her own mom’s asshole.

“Well don’t shove carrots up my ass then,” Crystal laughed with the others with gallows humor and shifted uncomfortably to accommodate the full length of the carrot with just a few inches exposed.

She stood up and arched her back. The green leaves of the carrot making a natural sort of tail and making it impossible for Crystal to pull her suit closed to cover her ass crack.

“Is that how it will look when you shove carrots up all our asses for trying to put you in your place and keep you from getting too big for your britches?” Ted’s accent became slightly more countrified.

“What britches, Sir?” Crystal motioned to her lack of clothing and then changed the subject by declaring tomorrow she would wear a two piece bikini because it was easier to slide in and out of.

“You’ll wear what I say, when I say it and you’ll be thankful for it – is that understood Jigga-Butt?” Ted’s voice sounded firmly southern and authoritative – much like his uncle’s voice had two days ago.

“Yes Sir, but can I wear a two piece though?” Crystal acquiesced to Ted’s authority with her head hung down.

“Yes it can,” he laughed now that he had made his point of who was boss. “Whose asshole is purtier?” Ted laughed. “I want the V.I.P. section to judge who has the best looking asshole. Savannah show them that purty little turd maker.”

“Isn’t the name Sassy-ass, Sir?” Savannah was joking after her step-dad’s insistence she call her mom Jigga-Butt, but I think Savannah has a thing about games with rules that prompted her to ask the question so quickly – it seemed only fair she go by her racing name.

An old 80’s song was playing in the background while Terry continued to feed Lloyd, but most attention was on the three of us girls.

I was surprised how Crystal’s attitude changed to one of the demure submissive at times like this. She stood by while Ted laughed at us and made us bend over in front of the “V.I.P.” section with our bikini bottoms around our ankles.

“I know these are fat asses, but after some hard work you’ll be able to bounce a quarter off all them. Which one has the purtiest asshole? I’ll give the one who wins a treat at the mall tonight – she’ll get to ride to town with clothes on!”

This did not sound over to the top to the V.I.P. section. They had been here since earlier this morning and they seemed non-plussed at the question. It almost made me laugh how seriously they took the question and the desire to judge the relative beauty of our lady parts.

Skeeter was playing harmonica and fanning it with his hand when we both bent over in front of the men seated closest to us. Savannah looked at me with her upper lip puffed out and shook her head like she couldn’t believe we were doing this.

“I’d say Jigga-Butt, but I ain’t seen Country-boy’s keister,” he said while licking his lips before returning to playing harmonica.

Opie said I had the prettiest asshole. I actually smiled even though he couldn’t see my face. “Can I stick a booger on it for a dollar?”

I stopped smiling.

“He got a crush on you!” Savannah whispered over to me.

“Be nice,” Skeeter scolded the boy and handed him a dollar, “stick it in her mouth!”

I saw him run up to me and I looked over at Savannah with a sarcastic “Oh joy!” and he stuck the snot-gob in between my lips as I shut my mouth. I winced and looked up at him and thanked him. He tried to hand me the dollar, but I told him that Ted handled the money while I kept my hands on my shins and bent over for judgment.

“Jesus Christ, Sir,” Savannah chided him, “what the fuck is wrong with you? Nobody wants to eat your damned boogers.” He didn’t respond and I was stuck chewing the rubbery little snot-ball until I could swallow it.

The Leaner was quiet as usual. He seldom said anything and just leaned against the garbage can while considering us. “On the one hand, I’ve seen Jigga-Butt’s asshole. There is a darker shade of brown where the flaps around the sphincter are discolored. It makes me think she blasts fart out that hole and has a dirty butt. On the other hand, I think Juicy Lucy, while she has a lovely pink exterior – it’s puffy and dimpled in a manner that seems less erotic to me. I want to like it, but at the same time I cannot like it and I think that if it were maybe two inches wider or it was shut tight like a coin purse then I might have a different feeling all together on it. I really think that alternatively, I’d say Savannah’s got a pretty pink little puffta. I’d love to see her cut a little fart out of it and watch it open and close as it pushes out a gush of what I’d imagine smells like strawberries.”

He waited for someone to acknowledge what he said. I actually only captured what I remembered of his ramble – which seemed to last a full minute and left everyone unable to follow his point. I remember thinking it was kind of hurtful the way he discussed me like a piece of meat but considering he made no sense- I just smiled and nodded.

There was a long pause before Ted declared the leaner had voted for Savannah. “So one vote for Savannah – that is one vote for each of these little bitches to have the purtiest shit-pipes and that leaves the Wrestler as the tie breaker – you get to decide, bud.”

The wrestler was stoked to be the final judge of who had the best looking ass. He stood up and walked past us.

“Would you hurry up, please Sir?” Savannah wiggled her ass smartly at him. “You know mine is the best.”

I pulled my ass cheeks apart for him with the back of my hands “Can you see mine Sir? It’s winking at you!” I couldn’t believe I said it – but I made it wink by puckering and closing it.

My Aunt gritted her teeth and brushed her grassy-green tail of carrot leaves against his thigh and then bent over with us, “I think he knows how to judge the quality of a tightly-packed ass like mine – look what I can do with it Sir?”

I wasn’t sure – but I think she was gripping the carrot with her ass and pushing it out about an inch but even more impressively – sucking it back inside her.

The wrestler made a “WHOOOOOOOO” noise and bent down to sniff our asses. It was humiliating but I wanted to win – I needed him to judge me and find my ass the best. I can’t tell you why that was important but in that moment it was.

“I…” The wrestler had a tremendous overbite and a slight lisp when he talked. The three of us girls waited for his deciding vote.