Chapter Twenty-Seven

The one who laughs last is the slowest. The one who laughs first has the dirtiest mind.

“Ted I can see you are doing your best,” it was Odd-Jobs come back to check on us.

He paused for a moment before adding, “Which is why you are fucking up here.”

O.J. called us all over to listen to him dress down Ted. He wasn’t happy that Ted didn’t seem to be taking this serious. Ted looked embarrassed – like he had just been caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

“Ted – we are here to make money. You can fuck around and have fun – but you need to be focused on making money. You swore up and down you would take this ‘sure-fire, can’t miss’ idea I had to make money – and actually make money with it. Do you remember what you said this morning?”

“Yes,” Ted repeated what he must have said earlier with a dead-pan seriousness, “I said this idea is sure-fire and it cannot miss.”

“Yet,” O.J. explained “you are here cracking wise and not taking this seriously! Ted let me ask you - “Who is this and what did she do?”

Ted looked over at Crystal when O.J. pointed at her.

O.J. Explained, “She fucked around on you – this is your old lady. She needs to lose a few pounds, she can’t pay the bills, wasted it on a bunch of fancy bikinis that barely cover their asses. You came down here to see that she makes sure the girls do a good job – didn’t you?”

Ted hated the dressing down he was getting – but acknowledged that O.J. was absolutely correct.

“These two brats – you’ve got Twattle Dee and Twattle Dum – Savannah and Ellen – they stole your wallet didn’t they?”

Ted lied, “Yes they did.”

“They went down and bought beer and cigarettes with it – didn’t they?”

Ted lied again – this time more emphatically, “Yes they sure did!”

“They sucked your best friend’s dick for a ride out to J-mart and then told his wife – on their anniversary – didn’t they?”

Ted was much more confident “That really sucks! Yes they did.”

“These are some bad girls – who do rotten things. They are lazy – they are mean-spirited and they are stuck up prisses who are afraid to get a little dirty to earn a dime – aren’t they?”

“Yes they are; and I am tired of them having their hand out for something when they won’t bend over and do one god-damned thing for this house,” Ted ad-libbed – he was getting fired up like he had old-time religion pumping in his veins .

“Ted – I will be honest with you here,” O.J. put his hands on his shoulder. “If you don’t contribute today – I am going to put your ass out in a bikini tomorrow, tape your dick to your taint and have you shave your nuts and stand out here waving in cars – do we have an understanding?”

Ted mumbled something to O.J.

“I did not hear that,” O.J. waited for Ted to look him in the eyes and said, “Is there a problem?”

“No sir,” Ted answered him like a soldier answering his commanding officer. Ted may have been disgusting and shifty, but he did have a bearing that often reminded me of someone who might have been in the military or at least wanted to be. His high and tight haircut and thin little mustache gave him the look of someone who certainly was.

“Girls,” O.J.’s voice was sweet, but there was a trace of sarcasm. “I need to ask you to do me a little favor today?”

He waited for us to acknowledge him by looking right at him and said, “Listen to Ted – just play along. Have fun – make money – don’t fuck up.”

I smiled at him and assured him, “Show up, Keep up, and Shut up, right Sir?” That was his three-up mantra he told us the day before.

He smiled and pointed at me, “Just for that – I may not feed you worms today for lunch!” He made a ‘shuck-shuck’ sound with his mouth that he was kidding and got in his cart and rode off singing to himself. He offered some obscure advice as he was leaving, “The one who laughs last is the slowest. The one who laughs first has the dirtiest mind.”

“Show up, throw up, and suck up,” Savannah honked my nose as she mocked me for trying to be cheery to the boss once O.J. was out of earshot.

“Fuck up,” I reminded her of one she forgot and honked her nose with my finger and thumb right back. “He is the real boss out here,” I tried to sound as street-wise as she did, “I was just playing up to him – might pay off.”

I was surprised Savannah nodded as if that made sense and went back to hopping up and down waving cars over to be washed and fleeced of their cash. Her eyes were full of playful mirth and frivolity while she skipped and bounced to catch the eye of drivers on their way in or out of the trailer park. She jiggled in all the right places – like a cheerleader. I wondered if I looked like an uncoordinated doughy teenage girl or if I was pulling off that same energetic and dynamic look.

Men seemed to like it and girls like Tawny looked at me with scorn and derision.

I joined her while my Aunt and Ted argued about how to make today profitable. It sounded like they were arguing about who could do this better. Aunt Crystal was convinced if left to her own devices she would be and Ted said that he needed more of a free hand.

My Aunt gave excuses that never once included the possibility that we just might not have tried that hard. It was always someone else, or random chance or something else and Ted stuck to his guns that she needed to let him run things like O.J. said.

Savannah and I started washing someone’s car while the “adults” talked it out. I noticed my brother and Lloyd were over in the pool area talking to girls. “Let them talk,” Savannah waved off her brother. “We don’t need his ding-a-ling over here for most of these. It makes guys uncomfortable. They are just talking to that Angel chick. She is always boo-hooing about her boyfriend.”

I told Savannah that I had talked to her in the bathroom and she told me the same thing. “She gloms on to anyone who will listen to her,” she warned me as we both flirted and washed the car in front of us. “She just wants a baby-daddy to take care of her kid when it pops out,” Savannah pointed out how the girl was ready to burst and she wished she’d go ahead and have the baby already.

“I sure as fuck hope I never get pregnant like THAT!” Savannah wished out loud. I wasn’t sure if that was to sound like a sexually promiscuous brat, and lure our current trick into asking questions, or if she really was that callous.

“Fine, I’ll take that bet,” I overheard Crystal say and she asked if we would come over.

“Put your sponges down for one second and bounce your pretty little asses over here,” Ted told us in an uncharacteristically flattering tone. He slapped Crystal on the ass hard, but she didn’t stop him or slap him back. Her ass was firm – and it didn’t even jiggle.

“Your Aunt is going to join you two and we are going to make one hundred bucks off this guy before it’s all said and done,” Ted insisted with confidence. The implication being that this was the terms of the bet and my Aunt’s wink confirmed it.

“I would like to see that!” Savannah sounded skeptical; and I have to admit I didn’t think this guy had that much cash to spend or that much interest to drop one hundred dollars on my Aunt or us.

“Hey there,” Ted approached the car, “I wanted to apologize about the girl’s performance so far. They have been lazy and lackadaisical and that is really my fault – but that is going to change.”

“Nothing to apologize for,” the man shook Ted’s hand, “I was just enjoyin’ the view.” He seemed nice enough and introduced himself as “Catfish”. He wore sunglasses and a mustache and beard with a white panama jack hat over his long dark hair.

“Catfish,” Ted explained that his wife had been coming up to the front of the park because they were hurting financially.

“Yeah, I heard the rumors they were out here,” Catfish said with an understanding grin, “Most people here are hurting for money.”

“Yeah, but you should see all the stuff she ordered,” Ted gave examples of over a dozen items out of a ‘Fingerhut’ catalog that sounded like wasteful spending -automatic plant-feeders and sunflower shaped windmills. “She has a spending addiction and now we can’t pay our rent, our water is fixing to get cut off, plus our electricity; and she has been teaching these two to strut around like sluts and I am afraid I need to teach them all a lesson!”

“What is wrong with strutting around like sluts?” Catfish asked with the look of a man waiting for the punch line to a joke. He was smiling at us and looking us up and down without seeing the problem Ted was alluding to.

“Sure,” Ted stroked his chin, “it’s all well and good when it’s someone else’s daughters. Look at Ellen here – this is my brother-in-law’s daughter,” he lied that we were related – even by marriage.

“Shake your ass for this man and let him touch your tits,” Ted instructed; and I did what I was told and shook my ass for him before bending down to let him get a good honk on my boobs. He looked like he was overjoyed and smiled at me, but didn’t hesitate to grab a handful of my boobs.

“You see?” Ted explained, but our latest trick shook his head that he didn’t. “She didn’t complain or hesitate – she doesn’t even know you and she’ll let you feel her up. When she came here she was wearing floor length dresses and totally innocent; but after she got around my step-daughter and her momma – well they turned her into a sexy, little beast. I can’t have my brother-in-law come home and see his daughter like this.”

Catfish nodded in agreement, but his grin said that he thought what Ted was saying sounded far-fetched. He shrugged along like he was humoring Ted and just happy to be the center of attention.

“They have been out here two days but haven’t done shit because they are lazy and lacked any real supervision. My wife here was supposed to get the job done but she just sat there and read her books.”

Catfish looked at Crystal with a little bit of scorn but he still didn’t see the big deal.

“So now she is going to join the girls on punishment,” Ted smacked his wife on the butt with a wooden paint stirring rod that he had and told us to get to washing while the “men talked.”

Ted cut on the boom box and quickly switched the music from rap to a rock song by Motley Crue.

Come on and dance

Come on and dance

Fast and slick, well, she's cool and clean

In a Pepsi sheen, she's a leather tease

When she's on top, well, she can't be stopped

Watch her scream, watch her suck you clean

You should have seen her dance

The rock song had a good beat and it was easy to dance too. I had to laugh at the band’s use of cowbell at the start of the song because there was an old Saturday Night Live skit that used the phrase “Need’s More Cowbell!”

I shouted the phrase and my brother got the reference but no one else did. He walked over to watch us dance and I waved at him. It was surreal to wave at him while I was shaking my tits for strangers, but the last few days it had started to feel almost normal.

Savannah’s dance style was energetic and youthful, like a cheerleader, but my Aunt danced like a professional stripper. She was sultry and every move seemed to draw your eye to a bounce or a jiggle. I was just trying to have fun and get wet while I mimicked what both of them did and it probably showed.

I was surprised Crystal put up no protest and just joined us washing cars. She smiled at me and winked confidently. She turned her back to me and then wiggled her ass into my lap – lathering her back up with the suds running down my chest. She whispered, “Put on a good show – but if this trick coughs up even forty bucks I’ll lick your asshole clean.”

Given the situation we were in – I had to wonder if that was hyperbole or part of the bet! I smiled at my Aunt, but couldn’t get that mental image of her licking my backdoor clean out of my head.

I overheard Ted tell the man that I was learning all these bad habits and he had to take to extreme measures to turn a buck while teaching us important lessons.

“What kind of extreme measures?”

“I am glad you asked,” Ted told him that not many people would pick up on that and he knew that Catfish was a man of discretion and taste.

I could see Catfish wasn’t completely buying Ted’s bullshit – but I have to give Ted credit that he had the gift of gab when he wanted to bullshit someone. He just kept talking until he had launched an avalanche of bullshit story and hoped that some of it rang true.

Crystal whispered to me while she was dancing with me, “Ted thinks he can get one hundred dollars out of this guy. Do your best and when he loses, then Ted goes home and O.J. gives us one hundred dollars.”

Ted continued his sales spiel and instructed Crystal to bend over. Crystal dutifully grabbed both ankles and bent at the waist without hesitation, “Ted – please don’t spank me out here in front of everyone!”

“It was YOUR idea,” Ted explained very quickly that she was letting people spank us for twenty bucks in order to get the bills paid off and teach us not to be brats and the end result was we were still brats and she hadn’t made any money.

“That was them!” Crystal looked in our direction with derision, “And very few people thought their little asses were worth it. Please Ted? I am trying to be a good woman for you, but this is not fair!”

“See?” Ted swatted her with his wooden paint stick. It was so light that it could barely be felt. “She makes a joke out of it and doesn’t take me seriously! She keeps talking about fair – but was it fair she was up here flirting with men when she should have been trying to pay the bills she ran up?”

“Well, maybe you should use something heavier?” Catfish suggested while side-stepping the question.

Ted pretended almost comically to have never thought of that. “I could never do that,” and asked if Catfish meant a flyswatter or something equally as light.

“I think you take a paddle to their asses,” Catfish said as if offering advice on how to grout one’s patio at Home Depot, “That or you just use your hand.”

“Ted?” Crystal shrieked at him while remaining bent over in position, “You would never do that to me!”

“I wouldn’t,” Ted declared emphatically, “but I bet Catfish would!”

Crystal wiggled her butt and smiled over her shoulder at Catfish as if she was hoping he would. “Just don’t charge him any money to do it,” she cooed that she’d like it if he did.

“You would like that wouldn’t you?” Ted sounded hurt by her betrayal adding, “It would really please you if I couldn’t charge a dime out here for any of this and we did it all for free!”

Crystal stuck her finger in her mouth to mimic the look of an innocent but devilish young woman and nodded yes she would. “Just charge him 2 dollars and he can spank me as much as he likes?”

“Jesus,” Ted threw his hands up in the air and dropped the wooden stick, “Can you believe that? See how she tries to do me?”

Catfish surprisingly took Ted’s side in this. “You charge twenty and how many swats do I get?”

“I don’t know if I should,” Ted explained he had just come out here with his wife and was having second thoughts. “I mean she wants to do it for free, even though we are about to lose our trailer – this doesn’t even bother her.”

Ted pulled my Aunt’s one piece down around her chest and let it drop to her ankles. “I tell you what – try it like this,” Ted said, while smacking Crystal on the butt when she shrieked and tried to cover her tits with her hands. “Do you think spanking her on her bare bottom would teach her a lesson?”

A toothy grin appeared under Catfish’s mustache as he agreed and laid the first of ten hard smacks on Crystal’s bottom.

“Thank you Catfish, Sir,” Crystal counted out the first strike and begged like it was the greatest joy of her life, “OH! Please would you give me nine more!”

He laid out three more swats and each time my Aunt cooed and wiggled her ass, like it was ecstasy, while begging for more. She kept her hands on her ankles and her feet planted apart.

“The idea is not to make her wet,” Ted explained and asked him to give them more forcefully.

Catfish looked at Ted as if he already knew that. “If she is wet by the time I am done with her – I’ll give you twenty MORE dollars.”

I could see my Aunt genuinely look nervous as she looked at the two men with her head hanging between her legs.

“Eyes straight ahead, slut!” Ted prompted her to look forward again. He kicked both her ankles out further and reinforced her nudity by pulling the suit down off one of her ankles so that her legs could be spread further apart.

“Wait a second,” Catfish looked at Ted as if he might be conning him, “What do I get if she IS wet?”

Ted considered this for a moment while the people at the pool gathered to watch my Aunt take a spanking. This was the first spanking she had received with much of an audience since the first day when Junior made us play his game. Even my brother had stopped talking to come observe my Aunt get her butt swatted.

“Well, that is a fair question – a bet is a bet,” Ted stroked the stubble on his chin. “You agree that things have to be FAIR, don’t you Crystal?” Ted walked around my Aunt and put his finger under her chin while he mocked her concerns about what was and wasn’t fair from earlier.

My Aunt accepted his posturing over her and remained as she was supposed to be. I was impressed she was accepting the humiliation as gracefully as could be expected. We had two days of this but she stepped right in and played along masterfully.

“I would say she deserves ten more swats to that big fat jigga-butt of hers,” Ted put his hand on Crystal’s back and then felt her ass with a rubbing motion.

“It is hard as a rock though,” he shook his head to consider his options, “Then again – what is the point in spanking her on the ass if she likes it?” He said he would make her stand up straight with her hands behind her back and take ten across the chest – for half the price of a normal spanking.

“Ted,” Crystal gasped, “you know I get wet very easily – this isn’t fair!”

“I think you should start calling the men Sir – after all, you told the girls that they needed to show respect. You must want to get spanked across those big old tits of yours if you can’t cool your jets.”

“Yes Sir.” My Aunt begged that there were too many people for her to be completely naked out here in the middle of the daytime. It seemed all too real when her rival April and Tawny began snapping pictures with their cell phones and she nearly cried to Ted to let her pull up her suit.

“You seem to be making a break-through on my wife,” Ted laughed that he thought it would take more swats and appreciated Catfish’s efforts to discipline my aunt.

Catfish looked proud as he delivered the next four swats to my Aunt who dutifully answered each one with a big “THANK YOU SIR” and a request for another.

When he finished ten swats Ted stuck one finger inside Crystal’s pussy and pulled it out. He sniffed it and offered it to Catfish to smell. “I just love the smell of wet pussy!”

“Please sir, let me pull my bottoms up at least and just leave my tits out?” Crystal’s sobs of pleading sounded genuine to me as she sniffled.

I felt sorry for her – and she told me we were not supposed to make them feel too sorry for us. I started to wonder if she was such an expert manipulator that she was trying to appear to play along with the bet but secretly sabotage it as well by playing the sympathy card.

“It seems a bit nippy too,” Ted reached under my Aunt to feel her chest and pull her nipples with a twist. “You seem pretty turned on from this treatment.”

If she was going for sympathy – she was failing miserably. The small crowd grinned like hungry cats waiting as a fishing boat loaded with today’s catch pulled in for the day and Ted and Catfish seemed oblivious to her sobs and sighs.

My Aunt grunted in agreement with Ted. I could honestly not tell how much of any of this was an act and how much of it she had not counted on. I was just waiting for her to blow her top and tell Ted she had enough and glad it wasn’t my ass in the frying pan this time.

“Now is there anyone here who hasn’t seen my wife’s bare ass by now?” Ted called to the crowd of a dozen or so on-lookers who had gathered to watch my naked Aunt get her whooping.

Ted hadn’t forgotten about my cousin Savannah and I, “Tell these two little slut-butt’s whether you are turned on or not from that spanking you just received? I didn’t hear you earlier.”

“I am Sir,” Crystal said through gritted teeth that reminded me of her daughter’s usual stubborn acts of contrition when she has been in a similar position to admit guilt. “My pussy is dripping wet,” she was breathing heavy and I thought she might even be lightly sobbing.

“Stand up straight and put your hands behind your head,” Ted patted her ass and told her, “it looks like you are about to cut a big, old, stinky fart when you are bent over with your asshole puckered up like that!”

My Aunt hid a dirty look she was going to send his way. I could almost hear her telling Ted to kiss her ‘big, old, stinky ass’ for making fun of her, but she smiled and stood up straight.

Her bare tits bounced in the morning sun and jiggled slightly when she stood up. Cars were honking and some new customers were already lined up.

“Ten dollars to swat her tits – you won the bet,” Ted promised Catfish.

“Please Sir,” my Aunt cooed. “It was my fault my pussy was gushing. He should be allowed to swat me for free! I deserve it.”

I smirked – my Aunt was normally very greedy, but realized she was trying to ensure that Catfish didn’t spend one hundred dollars on her.

“That’s okay darling,” Catfish laid down ten dollars and told her she was worth it, before popping her tits with the edge of a rubber windshield wiper. It made a loud ‘BLAT’ sound as it struck her nipples.

Catfish stuck it back in the water bucket to wet it again after my Aunt cried, “Ay-hi-high!” in agony.

Ted prompted her to thank him and count it out. “Thank you sir, that was one, please may I have nine more titty-swats to teach me not to get turned on by punishment!”

Catfish obliged with another; and my aunt lifted her knee and silently sobbed before asking for another and thanking him.

There was a great deal of laughter and catter-calling from the dozen or so people at the pool, who were now completely engaged in and calling for my Aunt’s continued punishment.

“Please no more after this though, Sir!” my Aunt thanked him for the third swat and promised she would be better.

“You didn’t mind flashing these big fake tits at whoever wanted to have a look yesterday,” Ted sadistically ground his teeth – he was enjoying this spanking more than anyone else. “You seem reluctant to stand here and show everyone now – why is that?”

The fourth pop on Crystal’s tits made a slicing noise as it drove home on her hard nipples. The water was making the nipples rise.

“Please sir,” Crystal begged, “I was wrong for flashing, but that was just a quick nip slip – I wasn’t standing there with my hands behind my head like this. It really does hurt – I won’t be bad anymore!”

I believed it must actually be agony to my Aunt as a fifth, sixth, seventh, and eighth were delivered much the same way.

“You two sluts watching this?” Ted asked Savannah and I, as my aunt recoiled from the eighth swat. She had almost removed her hands from behind her head to block her tits from the swatter. “You need the same extreme measures!”

I knew about the bet and I was feeling sorry for my Aunt. I would have taken a spanking, and had many times in the last few days, but I shook my head no and showed the truly apologetic expression of someone who didn’t want punishment.

Savannah had either not heard the conditions of the bet, or thought this was all part of the game, and put her hands on her hips. I was shaking my head ‘no’ at her, to warn her not to say it, but it was too late. “I wish you would! He doesn’t have the balls to do that to ME!” she dared.

Once the devious eyes of Catfish and Ted fell upon her she added more meekly, “I wouldn’t get turned on by my spanking, Sir!!”

“How much to spank the two of them?” Catfish was finishing up with my aunt and struck her for her ninth painstaking swat.

“I will give you the same deal – twenty dollars apiece,” Ted offered.

Once Catfish finished the ten swats on my Aunt’s tits he looked like he was tapped out of money. He reached into his pockets and shrugged the universal “all out of cash” expression.

I breathed a sigh of relief. He had spent fifty bucks and that was a good amount of cash. My Aunt had only suffered a little humiliation - but the really good news was Ted had lost the bet!!