Chapter Twenty-Five

“Writing fiction is the act of weaving a series of lies to arrive at a greater truth.”

― Khaled Hosseini

Cash Rules Everything Around Me

C.R.E.A.M., get the money

Dollar, dollar bill y'all

It's been twenty-two long hard years of still strugglin'

Survival got me buggin', but I'm alive on arrival

I peep at the shape of the streets

And stay awake to the ways of the world 'cuz shit is deep

A man with a dream with plans to make C.R.E.A.M.

A rap song was playing on the boom box and we were waiting for the next trick to pull up. I found myself jiggling and popping my butt out to the beat without even thinking about it – it was easy to dance to.

The car that had just pulled in signaled a huge payday for us! Junior’s shiny, brand new, white Cadillac gleamed in the afternoon sun.

Even though I was still sore all over from how he had us spank each other the day before, I was excited to see him – and I wasn’t sure if it was just about his money.

Unfortunately – it was not him.

Junior’s sister, Penny, looks exactly like him except where his hair is black and greasy - her hair is dyed blonde with pink highlights. It reminded me of a Christmas tree –rising off her head like an idol to big hair of the 1980s.

The closest celebrity I could say she looks like is “Tammy Faye Baker” – if that is a celebrity at all. She was babying a yellow-gray pit-bull sitting next to her named “Chunks”.

Savannah wasted no time greeting Penny and leaned into the car window to welcome this new woman.

“Please back off the car – we just had it detailed,” Penny was disgusted with Savannah.

“Yeah, I know – we did that,” Savannah sneered and backed away. My cousin folded her arms and leaned on one hip as she so often did to suggest the person hurry up and go away with her body language.

“Does that boy wash cars as well?” Tammy leered in the direction of my brother and Lloyd. She clarified, “The handsome one.”

We both looked at each other in disbelief.

“He isn’t on punishment,” my Aunt answered for us. “He is just working for Odd Jobs on the pool area.”

She waved a hundred dollar bill like it was the solution to world hunger.

“Lloyd!” my Aunt enthusiastically yelled, “You are on punishment! Get your ass over here.”

Lloyd came running. He was shirtless with a pair of jeans and some kicked-up sneakers on. His broad shoulders were tanned; and while he wasn’t super muscular – he certainly seemed athletic with well-defined abs. He didn’t have any hair on his chest but he had enough muscles you could see more than his ribcage – unlike my little brother.

“Yes Ma’am?” he grinned. I don’t think he understood the rules – but was just being goofy.

“I want you to wash and detail my car for me,” she waved the hundred dollar bill like a treat.

He looked at his Aunt and back at Penny and shrugged – he clearly didn’t mind at all and especially for a hundred dollars.

She insisted we change the music on the boom box to something she liked. She wasn’t satisfied until it was some sad-sounding country music.

If I could have a beer with Jesus

Heaven knows I'd sip it nice and slow

I'd try to pick a place that ain't too crowded

Or gladly go wherever he wants to go

You can bet I'd order up a couple tall ones

Tell the waitress put 'em on my tab

I'd be sure to let him do the talkin'

Careful when I got the chance to ask

How'd you turn the other cheek

To save a sorry soul like me

I felt sorry for my cousin Lloyd but he seemed oblivious to humiliation. He had a big grin on his face, even after she had him remove his jeans and put back on his sneakers. He stood there in his tighty-whitey Fruit of the Loom underwear and washed her already sparkling Cadillac.

I did not feel sorry for him for very long – he didn’t seem to care enough about it to be worried.

Tawny and April were still hanging around the pool area, like Queen and Princess Bee holding court over on the far side, when they noticed Lloyd. They found this interesting enough to come walk back over to see what was going on. They both whooped at him when they had a good look at my cousin – they liked what they saw.

Tammy made no secret she wanted Lloyd to bend over and pick up the sponge as often as he could so she could check out his ass.

I have to admit that I felt a little envious now that Lloyd was getting all this attention from the women. When guys did the very same thing to me and talked about my ass or my camel-toe they made me feel cheap and humiliated; but the women talking about the size of my cousin’s cock through his wet underwear sounded very complimentary – boosting his ego.

My cousin paid no attention to the cheers and adulation of the women watching him. He kept a permanent smile on his face all the way through the first song and into the second one. The second country song was a little more cheerful and bouncy with a nice beat. Lloyd even dipped and did a tiny little man-dance half-way through the song – which heated up the girl’s cheers for him to take it all off.

I think my cousin would have done so without a second thought if O.J. hadn’t showed up right then and asked him why he wasn’t working. O.J. looked pretty angry and April and Tawny hustled back over to the far side of the pool – where they could safely talk about us outside of earshot.

Tammy didn’t seem as impressed with O.J.’s posturing. “What is he paying you darling?” Tammy had to ask my cousin twice for him to understand the question.

“Ten dollars an hour, Ma’am,” Lloyd flashed a healthy smile at her.

“I will pay twenty dollars an hour,” Tammy offered with little hesitation. She didn’t say exactly what she was paying for – or for how long, but I don’t’ think it mattered to my cousin.

“Damn, Twenty?” Lloyd was flattered. “That is almost half of what I am making now!”

“That is double what you are making now,” Savannah scolded her brother, “you dummy!”

Odd Jobs didn’t seem to like this deal – what was in it for him? “Your cousin Conner can’t do all this work by himself.”

“Sorry Ma’am,” Lloyd told her without a second thought about all the money she offered, “I like dancing for you – but I have to help out my cousin.”

O.J. considered Tammy for a moment. She looked genuinely hurt that she had been rebuffed. “I don’t see why you shouldn’t keep the shorts you have on though,” there was no mistaking that these were clearly flimsy, white men’s underwear.

“If Tammy or some nice lady wants you to come wash her car or she has some chores for you to do,” O.J was talking to my Aunt more than he was to Lloyd, “I am sure your Aunt will let you work off your punishment for them.”

“Yeah,” Crystal mock-scolded her son. “We’ll talk about that attitude problem when you get home! But you’ll answer to me now!” Crystal could be believable as a mother who cared – but I knew this was all an act and she was laughing inside.

“Does this mean I have to go naked at the trailer door like y’all?” Lloyd asked with the naïve eyes of a puppy.

My Aunt thought about this for a moment and then answered with what may have been a coin-toss in her head “Sure.”

“Woo-Hoo!!” he cheered and sprayed water on his sister with the garden hose he had been holding.

My cousin Lloyd wasn’t the sharpest knife in the drawer, but I loved his enthusiasm at embracing the weird and unusual. Instead of groaning and complaining, he actually liked the idea of stripping when he got home.

Strip he did – at the door with the rest of the girls.

When we finished our day, O.J. brought us home the way he had made us ride to work – with our asses hanging off the back of the cart. Lloyd kneeled right there next to his sister and mooned Boogie all the way home. Boogie didn’t enjoy seeing Lloyd’s ass while he followed us home, but he honked his Dixie air-horn Dug-a-doo-doo-doo dug-a-doo-doo-doo-doo!” and cheered us to flash as well anyway.

Ryan and S.S. were elsewhere and it was just my brother, two cousins, and Aunt in the cart for the ride.

“Fuck you Boogie,” Savannah flipped him off and although he probably couldn’t hear her, she told him, “You didn’t get your car washed and you just want freeby-flashes all day – fuck that.”

She did flip him one long flash of her bare-ass though.

“That’ll do donkey, that’ll do Donkey,” Conner quoted a line from Shrek at my cousin in an Irish brogue.

Savannah quipped “Don’t quote Shrek at me, you little bitch!”

Conner seemed impressed that Savannah knew the reference.

O.J. laughed and let us blow off a little steam by teasing each other on the way home. I was considering the trailer ‘home’ now – it is after all the only one I have. If I kept washing cars it might not be for long.

I smiled as I fantasized about handing my parents my earnings and telling them I was helping. I tried not to think about the part where they ask “How did you earn so much – so quickly.”

Once we arrived at our trailer I was glad my mom was not there. Odd-Jobs had told me he would be bringing her home around 7 with some groceries – if we had enough money to cover the cost.

“We made a shit-ton,” Crystal assured him.

“Well get naked and get inside so we can count your coffee can,” O.J. hurried my Aunt to the trailer as if this were a perfectly routine request.

“Junior didn’t even show up today,” Crystal shook her head slowly at him, “We don’t have to keep pretending I do it.” I could sense my Aunt was disappointed like I was that Junior wasn’t there – at least because he had dropped so much money on us the day before.

“Actually,” O.J. pointed to a black camera mounted near the screen door above the wooden deck patio, “Junior asked me to give you all a home security system, with his compliments, with the extra cameras from the rec center.”

My Aunt knew exactly what that meant and waved at the camera like she was happy to see it. She smiled, but said “Hey Junior!” through her gritted teeth – like she was pissed but not surprised.

Ted walked out to the screen door – he was eating pistachios and holding a can of beer. He was in a grey wife-beater and what I believe was the underwear he had on the day before.

“Let’s stop the grinnin’” Ted was only a little drunk as he demanded we “Drop the linen!”

“Fuck off Ted,” Savannah’s belligerent tone spoke for all three of us.

“Fine,” he closed the screen door and locked it.

“You motherfucker,” Crystal banged on the door, “How dare you lock me out of my own trailer.”

“Strip and apologize,” he demanded from inside the trailer. I hadn’t been told to do it but I rolled off the black-rubber band that had been biting into my nipples all afternoon and released them from the tight constriction.

“You know we were gonna once we got inside,” Crystal negotiated from outside the trailer in the yard.

Ted said nothing in response.

Crystal was the first to remove her bathing suit cover up and start undressing, followed quickly by her daughter. I removed mine and Lloyd took off his as well.

Conner was the only one in our group who didn’t have to be naked. He stood there looking around at the other trailers on the street and said nothing. “Don’t worry,” I told him once I had removed my clothes, “you don’t have to do it.”

It was still light out – and while our street wasn’t busy – people could clearly see us in the yard.

“We are naked,” Crystal banged again angrily on the side of the door, “Now let us in please?”

“Fuck that,” Ted told her since she didn’t apologize.

“Apologize for what?” Crystal answered condescendingly.

“For fucking all the men down at the swimming pool,” Ted sounded like he might be joking but I could also hear the sound of someone who was jealous and insecure so clearly in his voice.

“For Christ sakes,” Crystal called him an Asshole and told him the only one she was going to fuck was him – but maybe not if he didn’t let her in.

The door opened from the inside.

Once we all filed in with O.J., he began counting out the money. Maw-Maw noted Lloyd was naked and fully erect and quietly approved. She told him to “Stop being nasty.” when he started to slap his fully-erect cock and make “Boing-Boinngg” noises.

“Why is Doctor Einstein naked now?” Ted asked with a scowl of revulsion.

“Why?” Crystal asked as if he had penis envy.

“A guy who shaves his arms and legs,” Ted noted that my cousin had shaved his arms, legs and pubes, “probably shaves his vagina too.”

“I would say he has a pretty big pecker,” my Aunt commented on her son’s erection with pride, “He’ll keep some little filly really happy.”

“Thank you, Ma’am,” Lloyd answered – he had stopped slapping his own cock playfully and was looking down at something that Nelly Jr. had drawn for him.

“You don’t have to call me Ma’am,” Crystal corrected.

“I want ALL of you to start saying it,” O.J. said without looking up from folding, counting, and collating the day’s cash. “You will be explaining to your sister the same story I told her.”

“Which is?” Crystal put her hands on her hips – which only accentuated her own bare, bouncing breasts and upturned pink nipples.

He held up his finger for her to shut up until he finished counting. He stacked the money neatly once he was done and put it in smaller stacks. The rest of us were standing in the front room. I noticed right away the black-camera with a red-light in the living room and smiled into it. I secretly wondered if Junior was watching from the privacy of his double-wide back on Seminole, on whatever private viewing channel he had set up.

“You made this much,” he pointed to a small stack of bills. Then he removed his cut and told her, “That leaves you with this much!”

Crystal went to reach for the money and said, “That isn’t bad! Could have been worse.”

O.J. stopped her and said, “Then there is the matter of the bikinis you had me charge and the dinner at Outback Steak House – a sizable bar tab because one of you like Vodka and Collins a little too much.”

Crystal nodded that she was guilty as charged, but gasped in surprise when O.J took all the money that was there and showed her we were one hundred dollars short.

“What the fuck?” Savannah said what the rest of us were thinking.

“Then there is Lloyd’s hundred dollar bill,” O.J. also added in my brother and cousin’s hourly wages so we came out with a little profit. “I can give this to Patricia to bring back some groceries if you want.”

“She don’t know how to stretch a dollar,” my Aunt shook her head. “She’ll come back with some name-brand bullshit.” I discovered that the same disgust and skepticism I looked at off-brand food – they looked at name brand food. They thought it was too fancy, and “hifalutin” – whatever that is.

“They don’t sell name brand at J-mart,” he assured my Aunt. He quickly told her the story he had left my mom with, and despite several protests from my Aunt about it – convinced her that for my sake we needed to stick with the same story.

Once O.J. left we let out a collective sigh as a family. They went about eating, arguing, farting, and watching television as they normally would - except half of us were now completely naked.

Nelly Jr. was still here and sitting on the floor coloring, and Maw-Maw had been knitting on the couch.

“Prevaricate,” she told me when no one else was listening.

“Pardon, Ma’am?” I asked her politely to clarify what she meant.

“It means to avoid telling the truth by not directly answering the questions,” she didn’t look back up or offer any further explanation. I assumed she meant it is what I would be doing once my mom got home.

I wondered if my father would be coming home – where was he? How was he? The time passed slowly until mom got home and it gave me plenty of time to think about things. I reflected on all the nasty things I had done that day and the day before – but mostly on what Maw-Maw meant by ‘prevaricate’.

We heard Odd-Jobs truck pull up when Lloyd’s dogs began barking. I could hear my mom call for us to come help with the groceries.

I looked at my Aunt for permission to put something on but she didn’t say anything. Conner was already out the door and so was Lloyd.

“Lloyd?” I heard my mom say once she saw him completely naked in the yard – ready to help carry in groceries.

Savannah took me by the hand and led me outside as well. “Hey Ma’am,” she smiled sweetly at my mother, “We’ll help too!”

It was dark outside, but under the flickering street lamp next to the other trailer in our yard – we were all obviously naked.

My mom stared at me in disbelief but she didn’t scold me. It took us only two trips each to empty O.J.’s truck and he wished us a good night before saying he would be back in the morning. “You can sleep in a little - I’ve got to take Patricia into town and then I’ll be back for you.”

We thanked him politely and Crystal seemed genuinely pleased to be able to get a little sleep. “Folgers got it wrong – the best part of waking up is going back to bed after you pee,” she joked, but my mom wasn’t laughing.

She was waiting for an explanation.

“I suppose you are wondering,” Crystal started to explain but my mom cut her off.

“I would like my daughter Ellen to explain,” Mom stared daggers at me. I hated to be dishonest and even though there was some element of truth to the story we were supposed to go with – it really was a ‘prevaricate’ situation.

It was for my mom’s own good. I just knew she would not understand what we were doing or allow me to keep doing it. If we hadn’t borrowed all that money – we would have come out way ahead today. I didn’t want her to stop us before I could explain what I was doing.

“I was wondering the same thing, Ma’am,” I answered my mom politely. “I haven’t heard from Dad and you haven’t told us anything about your new job.”

“I am not standing here naked or walking around the yard naked like you don’t care that a thousand dirty perverts probably saw you – so I don’t think what I am doing or your father is doing is really material now – is it?” My mom was flustered but maintained her rage at a warm simmer.

“That is true, Ma’am,” I swallowed. I had lied all day and all day the day before – but that was mostly to people I would consider relatively faceless, nameless strangers that I didn’t’ know or care as much about. I had in point of fact – stretched the truth and bent it – often to amuse them and tickle their fancy.

“We were caught sneaking out and so even Lloyd lost his clothes privileges in the house, Ma’am,” I admitted. I could see my mom was about to take over the conversation but I managed to keep talking. As long as I didn’t pause to give her a chance to respond – I could keep explaining and that seemed easier than listening to her eviscerate my story. I knew she would dice it up and examine it critically and I wanted to lay everything out.

I told her that Ted and Crystal had tried letting us have the clothing privileges back but we snuck out the night before and we all thought it was for the best if we remained naked.

“You thought it was best?” my mom managed to get a question in despite my non-stop talking.

I told her that the three of us were learning to be respectful, considerate, and humbled; and when we worked down at the car-wash we were putting it into practical use with the customers. I almost called them “Tricks” but kept my wits about me.

My mom demanded to know how much money we were making.

Instead of telling her we wasted so much at the mall – I told her “All the money you used to get groceries, Ma’am!!”

My mom brightened at that. “That is surprising. I thought this might be another loan from Odd-Jobs.” I got the impression from my mom’s tone that she may owe him as well.

I told her that once the pool is clean and ready – we should have even more people to wash cars for and that I would gladly contribute whatever I make for the house. I told her that the punishment and restrictions had made us appreciate the freedom and privileges we were given.

“I have to admit Ellen,” my mom’s eyes became a little misty with pride, “I was ready to bite your head off,” she sniffed and wiped her nose with her finger. “I thought you were just trying to shock me outside for some reason. I can see you are resourceful and a good girl at heart,” she gave me a big hug – even though I was completely naked.

She didn’t say a word about the fact that my nipples were hard when my chest touched her blouse. Instead she held me and her face softened, “You should be able to get some things for YOU too. You are too selfless to give everything you have to the family.”

I couldn’t have felt guiltier at that moment if some angel had come down from heaven, pointed a golden trident at me and yelled “LIAR!”

“So why is your Aunt naked?” she asked me now that she was ready to accept why my cousins and I were on restriction. She looked at her sister’s bulbous tits and shaved pussy with confusion.

“Can I tell it?” my Aunt asked me, but meant the question for my mom. She didn’t wait for me to answer before explaining that she had cheated on Ted. I could see Ted’s ears perk up and I wondered if Ted had even paid attention when Odd-jobs had explained the cover-story.

“Yeah, I heard that – what a surprise,” my mom didn’t sound surprised at all. This was what Odd-jobs had told her at some point in the last few days.

“I challenged Ted what he would do about it. I basically told him he didn’t have the balls to treat me like the kids and put me on clothing restriction,” Crystal’s tone suggested she knew he didn’t.

My mom nodded for her to continue.

“He said he did,” Crystal explained, “and I told him I wished he would!”

My mom looked over at Ted for further clarification.

“And I fucking Did!” Ted smiled through yellow-stained teeth and took a sip of his beer.

“Yes Sir, you did,” Crystal told him obediently. She lowered her voice and told my mom, “He gave all our clothes to Odd-Jobs to hold until this weekend and unless we all call the little motherfucker “Sir” and behave, he isn’t going to give them back.”

My mom looked at her in disbelief. This story was too convoluted – there was no way she would buy it. Each lie takes another two lies to cover for the first one and I wanted my mom to just call us out so I wouldn’t have to be the one who breaks and looks like a goody-two shoes in front of the rest of my family.

“So what did you wear to the car wash today?” my mom turned to ask me. I hadn’t expected that question. I had expected “You are all full of shit – tell me what is really going on!”

“I wore a bikini, Ma’am,” I offered to my mom and explained, “O.J. took them with him and will bring us back something in the morning so we can wash cars in them.”

O.J. had taken all the clothes out of the house for this ruse – and there had been quite a bit more clothes in my Aunt’s closet than I had even imagined.

My mom was quiet for a while, as if quietly calculating her next words. It seemed to me she was connecting the dots and things didn’t add up – it was only a matter of time before I said the wrong thing.

“You will NOT tell your father you had this punishment,” Mom declared. “Is that understood?”

“Definitely,” I agreed – even though I wasn’t sure when he came back – we literally had nothing to put on.

“Definitely Ma’am,” my mom corrected. “If you are going to learn respect,” she looked at her sister like she was inept, “I don’t know how you will learn it from your Aunt.”

“Yes Ma’am,” I agreed – but then I apologized to my Aunt that I didn’t mean she was incompetent.

“What happens to the girls if they forget to say Sir or Ma’am to an adult,” Mom asked my Aunt for clarification.

My Aunt clarified we had to say it to everybody – even kids our own age. My mom considered that for a moment as if weighing if that made sense and then asked the question a second time.

My Aunt might have been stalling to come up with an answer since O.J hadn’t prepared us for this question, “Ted spanks their little, fat, asses.”

My mom looked at our bare asses and at her sister’s bruised, purplish and yellow ass. “You only have to say it to him and he spanked you that many times?”

My Aunt smiled and was about to say something coy and funny when Ted interrupted her with a “You know?” and pensively stroked the stubble on his chin. We all waited for Ted to finish his thought. My heart was racing - he was kind of the wild-card in this lie because he really had no stake in whether my mom believed it or not.

“Now that you mention it,” Ted looked over at Crystal, “I’ve never been a fan of the old term ‘do as I say- not as I do’.

“You always fucking say that,” Savannah added a hasty “Sir” to the end of her sentence accusing her step-dad of hypocrisy.

“See? You noticed,” Ted shook his head at Crystal and insisted, “If you want to teach the kids to be respectful to everyone, then you can’t ask them something you would not do.”

Maw-Maw said a quiet “Amen” and nodded her head while continuing to crochet.

“You will talk to your sister with respect,” Ted lumbered towards my Aunt and added, “You will give EVERYONE respect.”

“Oh! Yes Sir,” my Aunt batted her long eyelashes at him as if she were Scarlett O’Hara being swept off her feet by a dashing Rhett Butler. I thought she would protest, but she rolled with Ted’s request without complaint.

“In the spirit of fairness, Sir,” she then countered, with a sweet-toned, “don’t you think that you should undress and be respectful as well – if you want to lead by example, Sir?”

“Fuck no!” Ted shook his head no, “I didn’t sneak out and suck a bunch of dicks at night did I?”

We had said that Crystal cheated on Ted – but now he was embellishing the story and my eyes grew wide.

“No sir, you didn’t,” my aunt snuck in a cheeky, “at least I don’t think you did.”

Ted didn’t acknowledge her snide remark, “You are the one on punishment because of what you did and you’ll endure the punishment without trying to weasel your way out of it – if you expect your kids to learn by your example. That is why O.J. installed cameras in here!”

I think my Aunt and Ted were happy to continue going back and forth in their little role-playing charade but my mother noticed the red-blinking light on the black camera in the living room for the first time and inquired about that.

“Tell her,” Ted instructed my Aunt Crystal.

“Well Ma’am,” my aunt put her hands on her thighs and bent at the knee slightly – I don’t think she even thought about the position she was taking – she had been standing up next to my mom for so long she was just resting slightly. I knew she was thinking about how to explain the cameras – because this was another thing O.J. hadn’t prepared us to explain.

“Get on your knees the way you make the girls do when they have to speak to their betters,” Ted pointed to the dirty, green, shag carpet. She didn’t make us kneel – but Ted was having his fun with her.

My Aunt considered Ted for a moment as if she was considering telling him to go to hell. She flashed him a wintry smile “Yes Sir”. She lowered herself to the floor in a fluid movement to kneel “This okay Sir?”

Savannah corrected her mother, “You make us bend over and put our nose right on the carpet because we are lower than an ant’s belly.”

Savannah was clearly enjoying lying once she saw her mom put on the spot this way. I was surprised that Crystal nodded and said, “How could I forget, Ma’am.”

“Get your ass up in the air like someone could come behind and kick it,” Ted instructed my Aunt further. This clearly seemed like the point Crystal was about to tell him to go to hell but she smiled at him and not only did she put her nose in her dirty living room carpet – she stuck her butt up and out the way she had in the back of the golf-cart.

“Yep,” Savannah nodded in agreement and giggled impishly. “You tell us to get our asses up because we need a quick kick in the pants, and our snot-noses to the ground, Ma’am.”

My Aunt accepted the two of them piling on her like a good sport and asked my mother if this was good enough to answer her question – careful to add Ma’am at the end of her words.

It dawned on me that my Aunt was willing to eat crow this way – for me! She was going through with this charade in front of my mom for me. She didn’t generally care what anyone thought of her – including my mom. She was lying and humbling herself right now to protect me from telling the truth that we were down at the curb everyday selling our female charms and flirting – I was more than just honored that she was doing it for me - I was impressed.

My Aunt would con, lie, cheat, and steal, even from people she loved, but I was discovering she had a loyal side that I didn’t quite fully understand yet.

“I don’t understand why you have to do it naked and with your bottom spread like that,” my mom answered her sheepishly. This was over-the-top, even for my family, but my mom stood right in front of her sister looking down and talked to her almost like this was a relatively normal conversation.

“Well Ma’am,” my Aunt kept her nose pressed to the carpet and flattened her hands. The tone to my Aunt’s voice had a trace of arrogance – as if she were about to get even with someone, “I think my nosy daughter could explain that better. Savannah – why don’t you tell your Aunt why we have to do this naked and with our ‘Bottoms’ spread like this?”

“Gladly, Ma’am!” Savannah was about to open her mouth and explain before Crystal reached out her hand to tap Savannah on the foot. “I know you don’t have to be told how to answer questions in this house, young lady?”

I smirked to myself. Crystal had just snagged her daughter in the ruse and hung her by her own spear.

Savannah got right next to her mom on the floor and faced my mother while putting her nose to the carpet. “This carpet smells like vomit and assholes!”

“This carpet smells like vomit and assholes MA’AM!” Crystal reminded her daughter to say Ma’am and reached a hand behind her daughter and popped her butt.

“Sorry MA’AM” Savannah reached a hand out to slap her own mom’s ass in retaliation and said, “THANK YOU FOR REMINDING ME!”

I followed the logic behind Crystal smacking her daughter’s butt as a reminder to follow the rules – but I didn’t understand Savannah’s justification for smacking her mom’s ass as a thank you. I don’t think it had to make sense to the two of them.

“You don’t have to say Ma’am to each other,” Ted stood right behind them and slapped both their asses with a single fluid motion. “You are both on equal footing – underneath everybody else. I keep reminding you of that! I think you like my reminders!” Ted smacked their asses playfully a second time before reminding Savannah to answer her Aunt’s question.

My stunned mother stood there and watched this scene play out without saying a word.

“Well Ma’am,” Savannah took a deep breath and I could sense she was stalling for time to think of a reasonable explanation that made any of this make sense.

I started to feel well beyond guilty at this point. I was lying to my mother and Savannah and Crystal were both on the floor lying for me.

“May I answer for Savannah, Sir?” I asked Ted hastily. I wasn’t sure what I was going to say but I wasn’t going to leave my cousin twisting in the wind to think of a story.

I hastily got down on my knees right next to her with my nose in the carpet and my ass sticking up. She was right – it smelled exactly like vomit and buttholes.

I was nervous and flying by the seat of my pants; but I channeled the words I had told Junior the day before when I was getting spanked at the pool in front of him and summoned up the creativity needed to make all of this sound plausible.

“I know you will probably disagree Ma’am but after several days living this way it has taught me a great deal about myself,” I wasn’t lying at all about what I had just said. I felt good about that – even though I was really talking about metaphorical lessons that were quite a bit different than the act I was about to explain. The lessons I had really learned about myself and judging others had been valuable and would last me for the rest of my life.

“Go on,” my mom sounded intrigued. Ted kicked my legs further apart from behind and prompted me to push my butt up towards the ceiling, while keeping my back angled 45 degrees with it so that a person could roll a ball from my ass down to my neck.

“We aren’t allowed any privacy or modesty here as soon as we get home from the car wash. It means we can’t hide anything away, pad our bras or pretend to be something we are not. We are sort of disarmed of any of the power we might have had. This is a punishment so it has to embarrass us in order for it to do any damage to our massive egos and get through to our stubborn heads, Ma’am.”

I waited for my mom to say something before continuing. I was waiting for her to drop a plate on my head or scream, but she murmured agreement and waited for me to continue answering why we were naked.

“It was at first just to keep us from running off in the middle of the night to get into some shenanigans,” I have always loved the word shenanigans but seldom, if ever, had a practical reason to use it –until now. “We are closely supervised to make sure we don’t play with ourselves while we are naked – the temptation is kind of great, Ma’am.”

I was going to explain that is why my hands had to be flat on the carpet while I talked but my mom picked up on that and asked me a follow up question “So you cannot shower or go to the bathroom alone?”

“No Ma’am,” I explained we have to leave the door open.

“You could still play with yourself – unless someone where observing? Does Ted watch you in the shower?”

I wasn’t sure if that was a trick question. The way my mom asked it – it sounded very creepy to think of Ted watching me in the shower. I answered, “No, anyone can supervise us Ma’am.”

I dug myself deeper with another lie – one I hadn’t thought about fully until she asked “So your brother has supervised your shower?”

“Yes Ma’am,” Conner piped in to the conversation. “But she seldom plays with herself in the shower!”

“I NEVER play with myself in the shower, Sir!” I answered Conner loudly the way we often teased at the pool.

My mom was quiet – which scared me more than if she was livid and talking.

“The reason we must kneel this way is as Savannah said Ma’am,”

I decided to finish answering her question after what felt like an extended silence, “We lower our head out of respect for our betters.”

“That doesn’t explain why you have to spread your bottoms that way,” my mom has the same kind of insatiable curiosity that plagues me. I probably get this from her, either through genetics or just seeing her do it, but I often feel compelled to re-ask a question that I may not even want the answer if I feel the person responded but didn’t answer my original question.

“My answer may shock you Ma’am,” I needed a moment to calculate my answer and I said that to give myself a little breathing room. I knew well and good everything we were doing was shocking her.

“I think we are past me being shocked,” my mom chuckled slightly and told me to go ahead and say it.

“We’ve told everyone in the house to kiss our asses and we’ve been asses to them,” I was making this up by the seat of my pants but it sounded good so far. “Ted decided to teach us a lesson by making us squat and kneel this way so that we would never again want to tell someone to kiss our asses or shit on people who tried to help us, Ma’am.”

I was afraid to look up. I winced after I said that - it was the most obscene thing I’ve told my mother up to this point.

“Do you spend all night like this in the living room or do you get down on your hands and knees every time anyone asks you a question?” my mom seemed skeptical. I could picture her thinking about how impractical it would be to kneel each time a person asked you a new question.

“We remain this way until our better gives us permission to stand and says they are done speaking to us, Ma’am,” I thought was the safest answer.

I also expected my mother to give me permission to stand up now that she had her answer, but she didn’t. She looked over to Conner and asked him “How come, of the four kids, you aren’t naked?”

Conner answered her like a total suck-up, “I am a good boy, Ma’am!”

I could hear quiet groans from Crystal and Savannah – they hated kiss-asses. I knew my brother meant well but he was also not as quick at picking up cues, like not to be such a brown-noser around them. I REALLY wanted to tease him the way Savannah teased Lloyd, but I thought my mom would question why I wasn’t behaving respectfully and resisted the urge.

“Ma’am, if I may explain that one as well?” I begged my mother to let me field his question instead.

“No you may not,” my mom told me to just hush. “As I understand it, you,” she spoke to all three of us on the ground, “you three have to wait there until I tell you to stand?”

There was a slow and uncertain “Yes Ma’am” from all three of us. I found it surreal that my aunt and cousin were willing to help me this way but I was quietly pleased – they could have just told her the truth.

“Conner,” she turned her attention back to my brother to verify, “You are not freaked out seeing your sister naked like this?”

“No Ma’am,” Conner explained, “I am used to it now and she needs it to be a good girl.”

“I have to admit,” My mom sounded somewhat amused, “the three of them do seem to behave this way, as weird as it sounds.”

“Don’t forget about me, Ma’am,” Lloyd took that moment to leapfrog down on the floor and push between Savannah and I in the same position we were in. “I am doing it too!”

“Lloyd,” my mom chuckled at his antics. He was so enthusiastic about kneeling in the same position as the girls that it was comical, “What exactly did you do wrong?”

“I am not sure, Ma’am”, Lloyd really hadn’t done anything wrong but he conjectured, “I think because today when a woman wanted me to wash her car I refused to do it?”

“That is pretty lazy,” my mom shook her head in disbelief and asked him why he didn’t do it.

“I wanted to keep working with Conner and I did wash it some, Ma’am,” Lloyd had managed to tell the truth and nothing but the truth – I wish I could say the same.

“Ellen?” my mom called on me to speak again and I felt just like it was the first day of class and a teacher called on me to answer a question I didn’t know the answer too.

“Yes Ma’am,” I swallowed – remaining in place on the ground.

“You never did explain about the cameras in the house,” she reminded me.

“After our car got broken into,” I scrambled for an answer – she was right! I had forgotten to address that question from earlier, “O.J agreed to sell us a home-security system!”

“Why did he need to put cameras inside?” my mom seemed less skeptical than she was earlier but still on the fence about this.

“In case someone breaks in – we had a flasher, remember, Ma’am?”

“You mean the guy who you fell on when you were trying to sneak out of the trailer?” My mom remembered the story a little different than I did. “What was his name? Bing Bong?”

“Ding-Dong, Ma’am,” I corrected as respectfully as I could without explaining that we didn’t actually fall on him. She had come outside after I screamed when I saw him masturbating and he had run into the woods. I thought that little detail would only make things sound worse. I guess that is the true meaning of prevaricate.

“We don’t need a home security system,” Ted chuckled in disbelief as if security systems were for lesser mortals and explained about his two dogs, “We got Ares and Zeus!” Ted said he was skeptical “Donger” (AKA Ding-Dong) had been there at all and I was just making it up.

“Lot of good they did, Sir,” Savannah couldn’t resist making a wise-crack. “Their car still got broken into!”

“The only reason I don’t swat you for disrespect,” Ted didn’t want to acknowledge she was right, but he didn’t punish her for speaking up, “Is you said Sir and did it from the floor where you girls belong.”

“Lloyd is not a girl, Sir,” Conner was using the Sir and Ma’am’s the rest of us were – and as usual felt the need to offer a factoid that wasn’t relevant to the conversation.

“No one likes a kiss-ass, Son!” Ted told my brother.

“Yes Sir,” he sounded even more a kiss-ass the way he answered Ted.

“See Patricia?” Ted smiled “We have this all worked out. It may not be perfect, but it gets the job done.”

“I will be honest Ted,” my mom yawned. She was probably exhausted from all the work she had been doing and mentally overwhelmed by what she saw when she got home. “The fact that you are able to see my daughter naked doesn’t thrill me or give me any special confidence. I wouldn’t pat yourself on the back as father of the year.”

“When your book on how to successfully save your home, marriage, and career comes out, why don’t you give me tips on parenting?” Ted had a surprisingly pointed come-back. I think even he was surprised at how harsh that sounded.

My mom was quiet for a while and then said “Touché’”.

“So how does this work Ellen?” my mom asked me another question – she sounded like she was about to fall asleep “If I don’t tell you that I am done talking to you but went to bed then you would stay like this all night?”

“If someone stops talking to us,” I quickly thought about my answer and decided on something reasonable, “We are to wait five minutes and then we are allowed to get up, Ma’am.”

My mom stepped over me and looked at my ass. “It looks like all three of you have forgotten your manners – quite a few times. Haven’t you Crystal?”

My Aunt had been quiet for a while. She remained quiet.

I was positive she was about to burst over in a rage. Her silence seemed to me like the simmering of someone who was about to announce she had enough.

“I am thankful that you give me a chance to practice tolerance and patience today, Ma’am. I am sorry I’ve been such a shit sister, that I can’t watch your kids without getting in trouble myself. I’ve been trying to motivate them at the car wash but if you hear rumors about me fucking that up and not paying attention – now you’ll know why. I am a bad sister and parent.”

Wow – I did not see that coming from Crystal.

My mom yawned as if falling asleep, “I don’t think you are a bad sister.” She didn’t explicitly say she didn’t think my Aunt was a bad parent though. “You do seem like a woman of extremes though,” she announced she would be going to bed now because she would have to get up early.

I was surprised my mother had not asked me about the car wash and what we did there to make money. Instead she said that while she didn’t approve of any of this – she couldn’t deny I was behaved, not running off and respectful. She knew where I was and since everyone in the trailer had seen me naked at this point – there was no point in stopping.

“Can we get up now, Ma’am?” my Aunt asked on our behalf.

“You can wait the five minutes unless someone else wants to talk to you,” my mom giggled. I heard her walk into her room and complain about the fact she had to wear the same clothes she had on tomorrow. “There is even a camera in my room? C’mon!” and her door shut.

“Thank you guys,” I said to everyone.

Crystal and Savannah stood up as soon as my mom left the room without waiting even a few seconds. “Thank us for what?” Crystal asked me.

I looked at her – had she not realized this was all for me?

“Thank you for – Everything,” Is how I answered her question. I don’t think she fully understood what I was saying and maybe I didn’t either at this point.