Chapter Fourteen

Twistle Twhile You Twerk

Odd-Jobs explained that he would have been back sooner but he saw someone named Kung-Fu Dave chasing Ding-Dong through the park. I gathered from what they were talking about that Kung-Fu Dave fancied himself a martial-arts super hero and the protector of the trailer park.

“Not just the Buckman but several trailer parks nearby,” Odd-Jobs made a point of mentioning. Ding-Dong had apparently been flashing a bunch of old ladies in broad daylight and Kung-Fu Dave had been chasing him wearing a Confederate Flag as a cape and throwing home-made throwing stars.

“I would imagine those hurt if they hit you in the right spot,” Odd-Jobs joked. He said ordinarily he wouldn’t give two craps about the both of them but that he liked to keep order.

I was looking at Savannah’s bikini. It was larger than mine and it tied in the back and on the sides. I whispered to her while Odd-Jobs mostly talked to my Aunt in the front of the cart that we should trade bathing suits. “Stick with the one my mom picked for you,” was all she said.

I thought that was a bit rude, but then Savannah could be very blunt. I thought about calling her a chicken for not wearing what I had on but I realized the pig tails were supposed to give the impression I was probably very naïve – which, in point of fact compared to them, I am.

The golf cart came to a stop. We saw Kung-Fu Dave running and shouting between the trailers and Odd-Jobs ordered Lloyd and Conner to jump off the back of the cart and stop him. My brother didn’t hesitate to follow Lloyd between the trailers on a merry chase. I didn’t expect him to be so brave – I don’t know what he thought he was going to do if he caught up to him, but the others seemed to think he was fairly harmless and Conner was in no danger with Lloyd there.

“Now I am going to tell you the rules,” Odd Jobs turned to regard all three of us while he waited for the boys to finish apprehending Dave.

“Just let us do our thing the way we do it and we’ll make money,” Crystal insisted that she already had this system worked out.

“That works fine for Glory Hole. I expect you to pull in at least one thousand today or you are wasting my time though.” Odd Jobs had purposely mispronounced Glory Hill street to call it a hole.

“A thousand? Shit,” Crystal was skeptical and then she waited for Odd Jobs to say something. “Okay you have my attention.”

“You are going to be pretending that you are getting kicked out of your trailer if you don’t make enough money,” Odd Jobs explained the hook we were going to use. I really wasn’t sure why we needed one – wasn’t the idea to just see pretty girls jump around and wash your car?

“Been there - Done that” Savannah sounded like an old pro to the many little cons they did already.

“Yeah I am sure you have done it,” Odd Jobs let the word ‘it’ imply whatever nasty thing Savannah could think it might mean. “You two girls broke curfew last night,” he told us.

“Yes we did, so?” Savannah answered like that was no big deal.

“You are on punishment for it today, just like you told Patricia,” Odd Jobs smiled at his suggestion.

“Oh I like that and I can tell you two to get busy washing those cars or I’ll paddle your behinds!” Crystal sounded excited about the con. “You know Larry with the dog van?”

“Weird Larry or Old Larry?” The fact that Odd Jobs needed to clarify which Larry with the dog van struck me as funny. I scanned for my brother darting between the trailers while they talked and didn’t pay a lot of attention.

Crystal told him how for years Larry would come around and say that Savannah was a brat and then she just needed a little discipline. Then she would let him give her a spanking and he would always offer an awful lot of candy at the end.

“The spanking never hurt at all but the candy tasted like shit,” Savannah spit like she could taste it right then.

“You know I’ve got an idea to put your lazy husband to work,” Odd Jobs said and he began to drive the golf-cart back to Glory Hill.

“I don’t want to cut him in on our earnings,” Crystal said expectantly.

“I think you just don’t want him up there interfering with your premium wax jobs?” Odd Jobs smirked.

“Both,” she said.

“Shouldn’t we wait for Lloyd and Conner?” I was the only one who seemed concerned we were abandoning them and riding back.

“They’ll find their way to the pool or I’ll circle back for them. I’d like to throw Kung-Fu Dave and Ding-Dong into trailer park jail if I can.”

“There is no such thing as trailer park jail,” Savannah sneered in disbelief.

“Oh no?” Odd Jobs asked softly but with an edge of menace to his voice. I was sure he was implying a threat and Savannah actually backed down rather than push the issue.

Odd Jobs told us he would think about it and see how we did today before asking Ted to be involved.

“Wait, we are doing this more than once?” Crystal didn’t like the idea of work at all.

“Every day if you can pull in a grand,” Odd Jobs mentioned that people would start receiving their checks soon and this could be very popular. He reminded me that this would be a fast ticket out of the Buckman before getting off the cart to look for Lloyd and Conner.

Once he was gone we started to talk amongst ourselves.

“I don’t like this, Mom,” Savannah sounded concerned.

“That’s because you are going to be the brat girl who gets punished all day by the nice gentlemen who just want to teach a sour-ass like you a lesson,” Crystal condescendingly pinched her daughter’s nose and spoke baby talk with a smile. “He said over a thousand dollars,” she cooed, “I’ll play that game for a thousand.”

“We have our own way though Mom,” Savannah parroted back her mom’s words from earlier. “We always come out fine when we stick to the things that work.”

“We haven’t done these in years,” Crystal laughed. “You used to be so energetic and enthusiastic to do it. It was all new to you back then. I hated how cheerful and happy you were. You’d drag me out there to wash cars on Saturdays and now I am wishing you’d be more like your old self.”

“You know me,” Crystal told her daughter that she was the type to adapt and not adopt. I didn’t know what that meant but I wanted to joke that it seemed we had adopted Nelly Jr. The way he popped up when I didn’t think he was around. I half expected he was stowing away on the golf-cart some place.

“This is like showbiz – a little play acting to give the guys what they think they want and do the least possible while separating them from their hard-earned government welfare checks,” she laughed and counted off the different kinds of checks she would accept “Welfare, Disability, but no food stamps – maybe a few.”

“It’s just Ted?” Savannah asked. “Really? He is going to be a total buzz kill and sit out there scratching himself all day. It’s going to chase off all the business and what if he gets jealous?”

Crystal assured her daughter that they would ignore the rules if they got in the way of them making money and that she would play the grifts by the seat of her pants the way she always did. Ted wasn’t coming and if she had her way he wouldn’t be a part of this tomorrow either.

Savannah agreed reluctantly.

“You are going to start calling me Ma’am young lady!” Crystal started to switch into her strong-willed motherly character. She cleared her throat and said, “It’s basically the same story all day instead of different ones for every car. I’ll play the mother who has lost control over her two wayward daughters, or I guess you’ll be my niece from fancy-town.”

I wanted to correct her, but I just smirked that Crystal thought I came from a place that was called ‘fancy town’.

“Then you two will probably have to be spitfires and aggravate the men until they want to spank your butts and I’ll work out some sort of deal. Then you two pretend it hurt real bad and rub your asses and cry and pretend you learned your lesson and we’ll wash a couple cars - Its simple.”

“Not all these guys are going to spank as soft as Larry,” Savannah pouted.

“Your ass is so tight you can bounce a quarter off that thing,” Crystal complimented her body. “You remember Pete, your step-dad from about two years ago? That guy could spank your ass and you never cried.”

“Neither did you!” Savannah complimented her mom.

“Well that was different,” Crystal blushed that her daughter even knew about what must have gone on in the bedroom with Pete. “That stays between us,” she offered a pinky to Savannah and Savannah put her pinky in hers.

They looked at me expectantly and Savannah told me to “Pinky swear, bitch!”

I put my pinky in the middle of theirs and they pulled them apart. I wasn’t sure what I just agreed to, but I smiled because I felt like they were treating me like a member of the family and one of the girls.

“Your mom doesn’t need to know about any of this either,” Crystal told me. “I saw how you took a spanking from her – you’ll be fine. These guys want to see bare girl butt more than they want to do anything too hard. If they start hitting too hard Savannah can show you some ways to move out of the way or cry so they get a buzz kill and feel guilty.”

“I’ll just tell Mom that we washed some cars and made some money and it was fun,” I nodded in agreement. I didn’t want to even address the spankings I was going to get – the ones my mom gave stung well into the next day. Savannah and Crystal acted like they were fun or painless – no one told ME that.

“Speaking of fun,” Savannah said sarcastically of Odd Jobs, as he walked back without the boys. She quickly changed her tone to one that genuinely sounded pleased to see him and asked where the guys were.

“They cornered Kung-Fu Dave on the street just ahead of us. We’ll ride up and then we get you girls to work. You convinced me no Ted – at least not this time.”

We proceeded north in the direction of Seminole Avenue along a small cul-de-sac where Lloyd and Conner were wrestling with Kung-Fu Dave.

Kung-Fu Dave had to be at least thirty years old. There was something off-putting about the shape of his face and the way his eyes set on his face. He had dark brown hair and was about 5’4. He wore a Confederate battle flag, like the one they had on the General Lee in Dukes of Hazard, as a cape. He had on a black shirt and black sweat pants that he called “Ninjee Gear”.

Despite Conner being smaller than Dave, he was holding Kung-Fu Dave’s arms and doing a passing job of keeping him from running off or getting control of them.

Lloyd was standing behind Kung-Fu Dave kicking the back of his shoes and shouting “Flat-tire” – causing Dave to stop struggling and try to fix his shoes. It was clear to me that Lloyd had absolutely no fear of Kung-Fu Dave or he would have been the one wrestling with him. He was just playing with him to keep him in place.

“Great work,” Odd Jobs complimented the boys. He considered Kung-Fu Dave for a long moment as if wondering whether he should bother to talk to him or just drive away.

I kept my hands at my sides despite a constant desire to pull the tiny bikini bottoms I was wearing out of my ass and adjust it around my clit. It was rubbing my butthole sore because almost all the material was bunched up between my crack. I tried to think of other things – but when I did, I could only think about how many people will see me dressed this way today.

“I can’t have you roaming the streets picking fights with everyone,” he lectured Dave.

“I am the caller for binger, and he was cheating at binger, because he had too many numbers I called and I think he had a stamp to stamp the binger numbers.”

“Are you saying Bingo?” Odd Jobs tried to understand the country-drawl slur that Dave spoke in.

“Yes!” Dave declared.

“What does that have to do with chasing Ding-Dong and throwing sharp pieces of metal at him?” Odd Jobs was losing patience.

“Those were ninjee stars,” Kung-Fu Dave was very proud he made them himself. He was still struggling with Conner or he would have reached for one to show us.

“You will give yourself tetnis messing around with that sheet metal,” Odd Jobs warned him.

“I don’t play tetnis, I don’t play goff - I do marshal art!” the best way to describe Dave’s voice was imagine a hillbilly accent and that person is talking with a mouth full of food.

Dave tried to kick my brother. Lloyd stomped the back of Dave’s tennis shoes before he could get off an uncoordinated kick and it caused him to lose his balance and stumble. They had been doing this same move to Dave over and over since they caught him.

“I don’t have time to deal with this right now, I have to get these ladies down to the pool so they can get started washing a few cars. Then I have to start some construction projects with my two policemen here.”

“These are policemen?” Kung-Fu dave stopped struggling and stood up. “I didn’t know that,” he clearly lived half-way between fantasy and reality in a world of his own creation.

“They are my deputies and I’ve sworn them to investigate Ding-Dong so we don’t need you on the case,” Odd Jobs assured Kung-Fu Dave that the park was safe and he could return to whatever cuckoo secret base he had climbed out of.

“Then I will instigate the binger game – I want to order a full instigation,” Kung-Fu Dave continued to rant about his next assignment as Odd Jobs just pulled the cart away. “Hop on Deputies,” he called to my brother and Lloyd who stood on the very back of the cart.

“You girls got the basic idea?” Odd Jobs wanted to confirm.

“We are going to lose everything. We are willing to wash cars or be friendly for some extra cash,” Savannah repeated back.

“The girls got into some trouble last night and we don’t know how to stop their bratty mouth,” Crystal’s smile was a little too self-satisfied about this part, “and you know I try but I cannot control them so we’ll work out a deal where they give them a little brattitude adjustment. If anyone finds out I had to ask for their help I will just be mortified, so I’ll swear each man to secrecy so he thinks no one else but him can help control the girls.”

That was a fairly advanced scenario. I was impressed with all the little details she had brought up.

“Good, Good – it’s the little details that make it seem believable,” Odd Jobs said what I had been thinking. Then he asked me, “You haven’t spoken very much. Did your Aunt go over the rules of your punishment? Any questions?”

“Yes she certainly did,” I lied and told him I was fine with it. I assumed we were going to lie to him the same way we did my mother.

“Good,” Odd Jobs asked me what the rules actually were.

I looked at Crystal expecting her to jump in and give the rules but she either didn’t see me or was waiting for me to explain.

“We have to say Sir and Ma’am to every customer,” I made up the first rule on my own.

“Good but change that to you have to say it to everyone. Everyone is a potential customer,” he explained and added, “Well except for the trailer park crazies. Don’t encourage Ding Dong or Methuselah – people like that.” Odd Jobs swung the golf-cart ride down a street and we all had to swing with it – pressing me against Savannah hard.

“Watch your hands lesbo,” Savannah joked all of the time – I barely even thought about what she said.

“That’s another good one,” Odd Jobs said. I hadn’t made up a rule yet. “You two hate to have to touch each other. So when standing in a corner you’ll do it together – belly to back or belly to belly.”

Savannah looked at me to see my reaction to that and snarled, “I hope your breath doesn’t stink.” – she was just teasing me though.

“You are going to do the bells thing right?” Odd Jobs asked me.

“The bells thing?” I clarified – I was not the world’s quickest liar and this wasn’t as natural for me to be manipulative and deceptive as my Aunt and cousin.

“The one you told your mother in the trailer. I liked that one. The guys will like that. You will put on the bells and then at the right time you’ll jingle. Crystal will try to get one of you to say who did it and you won’t admit it. That will be when she can tell the trick that she needs his help because she can’t spank both of you at the same time. This stuff writes itself.”

I didn’t understand what he was talking about. Odd Jobs shouted to Lloyd to hand me some Christmas bells from the back of his tool box on the back of the cart. “There are some old Christmas bells I took down from a trailer. It’s summer time – you have to take your Christmas stuff down in Spring – I stand firm on that. We don’t want the place to look trashy,” he laughed and spun the cart another turn.

“Snap it up – what are the other rules. We are almost there,” Odd Jobs throttled the cart to full speed down Seminole towards the office complex at the front. “There needs to be a few more rules to make this interesting.”

“Why does it have to be interesting?” I asked. “Can’t we just wash cars and see how that goes?”

The Golf-Cart halted rapidly causing me to lurch forward.

Odd Jobs turned and looked right at me. “There are trailers’ full of whores who will straight up do anything for a hit of meth or a dollar bill and a pack of cigarettes. Kung-Fu Dave pimps his sister out for a six pack of Miller Lite.”

“She likes it though,” Savannah agreed.

“You girls are special. You look like you don’t belong here. That is a big plus – and we need to give them some entertainment they cannot find on Jerry Springer and Steve Wilkos shows. This is show business – and this is playacting. You are not whores – you want to make money, then you have to do something that no one else is doing.” He made sure I understood.

He used the term show business just like Crystal had. I was nervous the way someone might feel before stepping out on a game show and knowing all the other contestants were way better at the game than you – so I guess that was kind of the same thing right?

“Good, now what are your other rules?” he asked casually as if I had these things written down. I wondered if he was just messing with me and knew we would lie about having rules made up. I wondered if it was an honesty test and I should just admit right now I was making them up, Then I realized I was over-thinking things and people in the Buckman don’t value honesty the way I do.

I wished Conner wasn’t standing right behind me on the back of the golf-cart. I felt embarrassed to say rules in front of him – He seemed to be getting too big a kick out of this.

I heard him say something about being just like drama club. “I wish I was going to be there to see this!”

“You better not tell Mom and Dad though,” I channeled a quite rage by imitating Savannah’s feistiness. “If they ask – we just washed cars and flirted a little – that was it.”

“Good, Good,” Odd Jobs told me that I should seem meek and quiet and then when I needed to, to pull out that rage so that they could see I had a petulant and cruel side like Savannah. “That would set us apart,” he said.

“Won’t long blonde hair, perfect tits and the face of a goddess set us apart?” Savannah teased like she was an ego-maniac.

“Use that to be competitive with each other.” He instructed her that we should get them to pick which one they like best but give them a reason to not like us too much. “We don’t want them falling in love or feeling sorry for you. They need to think you are hot, but hot brats. You have to absolutely deserve the punishment and then some - be snotty and arrogant. I am sure that will not be a problem for you girls.””

He could see I was confused. I did not consider myself a brat and I didn’t look forward to the idea of punishment or see it as a way to make money. I didn’t understand why he wanted to make things this complicated – other than he might just enjoy that sort of thing.

“If they fall in love, they will never leave,” Crystal shook her head like she had experience with that. “And if they think you are being punished unfairly, then they may want to get you out of there. You want to look cute and be a brat.”

“Yay, we get to act like brats at least!” Savannah was looking at that as one of the bright sides of this scenario.

He asked what the prices were. That was Crystal’s area and she said that it cost whatever they could get.

“Make a sign that they cost 10 dollars for a hand wash, 20 dollars for a full wax and 50 for premium service,” Odd Jobs decided.

Crystal protested that it was just giving it away.

“On Semen Hole you’ll have a lot more cars – you’ll want to do volume business. You will bring them in with low prices. I didn’t say you couldn’t write – plus tip on the sign.”

He pulled up to the Play and Park. The office building did look very different in the daylight. It was a big building that looked like it once had a lot of workers in it. It was run-down and the windows were tinted. There was a fence extending around the main building, around what was the pool deck. We were told we could use the garden hose at the office and hook the boombox up to the electric – apparently a big no-no for most residents.

There was about a dozen people inside the pool deck area and milling around – many of them in bikinis and getting sun. “This is why we had to wear something extra skimpy. These fucking skank attention whores are out here showing everything off for free,” Crystal explained as she told the boys to unload the gear from the cart and where to set up.

Odd Jobs told us to start on his red truck and he would pull it right out in front of the pool deck. He unchained one of the tables and lawn chairs and moved it near the road so that Crystal could supervise us from close by.

“Where do we do premium washes?” Crystal asked him skeptically looking around.

“You don’t do them in the cars?” he smiled.

“Not usually,” she smiled back like a cat that had just eaten its second canary.

“Do them in the car and if you have to, then take them to the men’s bathroom,” Odd Jobs instructed without even blinking. I had never been in a men’s bathroom! I couldn’t believe how casually he said it.

“That’s another good rule, add that to your list,” Odd Jobs told me as if I had started a written list. “Your mom doesn’t trust you to dink around in the girl’s bathroom. You’ll stall if you go in there and try to waste time or play with yourself. You have to be escorted into the men’s bathroom. You want them to have five minutes only and to make sure they wipe!”

“Tinkle,” he pointed to me and said specifically, “Stop picking winners by pulling your bathing suit out of the crack off your ass!” He had noticed me picking the bikini bottoms out of my butt just like when we first met. He must be an ‘ass man’ like my brother! –lol.

“It chafes sir,” I pleaded. It felt very natural to call him Sir because he had an authoritative air about him when he started telling us how the rules were supposed to work. I wondered if I was not just still conditioned to respond to authority figures that way, like my brother had to Maw-Maw this morning.

“Good!” he smiled at my discomfort and added, “Wiggle your ass when you are uncomfortable. Crystal is to punish you if she catches you adjusting your suit. She is to say you are trying to flash what you have.”

He waved bye-bye and tooted his horn at us like we were old friends. He had just come up with rules to have us punished and yet he was smiling at us like he loved us. He told my brother and Lloyd to hop on the cart as he sped off.

“Fuck that noise,” Crystal told us to ignore those rules and that we would do things the way we always did. She knocked down the cardboard sign that had the prices clearly marked and put her finger to her lips and talked in baby talk, “Oops it fell over and I forgot how much to charge. I guess we’ll have to make more money.”

Then she laid face down on the lawn chair and told us that we would stick with the basic idea that we need money or we’ll lose everything and that we are brats on punishment – unless we need to zig when we should zag.

“How will we know when to do that?” I started to soap up a rag in one of the buckets that the boys had left.

“You will just follow my mom’s lead,” Savannah rolled her eyes as if I was as dumb as Lloyd. “You will get the hang of it.”

I was feeling the heat of the pavement on my feet and wishing we at least had shoes. They had paved the streets with sand and sea shells mixed in. If you drive on it you will

never notice, but walking tore up my feet. I had a few days of practice but my feet were still tender. It didn’t make any sense to complain or ask for shoes because we had not brought any.

“Can we put on a little sunblock? I don’t have the same base as you and it will be noon soon,” I asked for what we did have.

“No you cannot, and you will call me Ma’am while you are under punishment,” Crystal had already gone into character. “You will ask some kindly man to squirt sunblock on you so that you don’t waste it all squirting each other like you did last time!”

I shook my head and wondered if we couldn’t just first apply sunblock and then still do that later when a new guy comes along. I didn’t want to break character so I said, “Fuck you Aunt Crystal.”

I had never said the words ‘fuck you’ in my entire life. I don’t think I even thought those words would come out of my mouth. They came out perfectly and without hesitation.

“You want me to put soap in your mouth? You watch your tone with me young lady!” Crystal was only half-pretending to be serious now and was barely believable that she had any intention to follow through.

“You don’t have to wear yourself out actually washing the truck,” Savannah encouraged me to take my time. She reminded me to stand on the outside of the red truck and wiggle my butt instead of staying on the side facing the pool area.

“When I was 10, I sent Leif Garrett a note spritzed with Jovan Musk. He just responded, needs a place to stay. It's a waiting game, girls,” Crystal joked with us to be patient and the customers would come.

“Leif Garrett? Was that in the 1960s?” Savannah teased her mom about her age.

Crystal threw a sponge and hit Savannah in the butt, “Don’t forget I am the one who is telling the guys who needs punishment the most and it’s going to be YOU little girl.”

In the spirit of fun I bent over and picked up the sponge and through it back at Crystal. She laughed and deflected it, but it hit her back. “Hey I am a bad girl too!”

“Good job,” Crystal told me “But a pro-tip is you never want to bend with your knees. You want to bend at the waist and always make sure someone is behind you before you waste your time picking anything up.”

Even though we were goofing around I realized this was what passed for advice.

My mom taught me how to baste a turkey and how to repair a sock. My mother’s advice was things like putting my best foot forward and treating people how I wanted to be treated. Savannah was growing up with advice on how to get men to notice your butt when you bend over.

I smiled dutifully and said “Yes Ma’am” like a good girl. I pulled the bikini bottoms out of my crotch and adjusted them. I felt worse than naked with what I had on because it was so childish and small that it drew attention to me.

I scanned the pool area – there were about six women at the pool, all in what might be considered racy bikinis where I came from. They seemed conservative by comparison to what the three of us had on.

Crystal ignored me and went back to pretending to read a book.

I snuck closer and bent fully at the waist all the way to my toes and picked up the wet sponge and slammed it hard on her back. I was being precocious and actually having fun with my prank.

“Dammit,” Crystal sounded genuinely mad, “You little shit, you are really going to get it today,” she smiled playfully and threw the sponge at me. She didn’t have an ounce of malice in her voice.

I had always thought getting in trouble was the worst thing you could do; and not only were we all plotting to get into trouble together, but we were reveling in playing around. It was kind of intoxicating to do something so completely different than the way I always thought things were supposed to work. I hate to admit it, but on some level it was gratifying to be a bad girl and liberating to actually be encouraged by other bad girls.

The Semen Hole is the only entrance into the park and all the cars flow through here.

“While you two play lesbo-Sponge Bob, I got a guy who wants his car washed,” Savannah was standing in front of a blue Camaro and flirting with the man inside.

He had long blonde hair and looked about forty years old. He was wearing sunglasses and a black top-hat. He would have looked ridiculous anywhere else, but at the Buckman that seemed to pass for normal.

“He wants to know if we could wash his sweet ass Camaro, Mama?” Savannah yelled over her shoulder. She was giving him the song and dance about us just washing this truck and pretending we never thought about washing someone else’s car.

“Well we need to get this truck finished but I guess we could if he will cover the cost of the wax and soap and all that,” Crystal looked up and acted disinterested. “He could come here and put a little sun tan lotion on me and we’d call it even for the cost of the cleaning materials.”

“He wants to know how much, Mama?” Savannah yelled over her shoulder. I came over to the car and slapped Savannah’s butt with my wash-cloth playfully. We were supposed to spend more time on play-fighting than actually washing. She looked over her shoulder and gave me a look that suggested I cool it. She was cooing and giving him a soft sell about his car.

I felt silly for trying to smack her butt and getting rebuffed that way. I have to admit I did prefer the idea of a single story to stick with instead of making up a new one for every customer. It made it easier to stay on the same page with them.

“So this is a 1988, 2.8ci with about 135 horsepower is it?” Savannah impressed me with her knowledge of cars. I had no idea what any of that meant, but I bet it made guys excited to meet a girl who knew about cars.

“This is an ’84 LU5 305 Cross Fire V8,” he had disdain in his voice as he corrected her. He asked how much the cleaning supplies were going to cost him apprehensively – he clearly thought this was too good to be true.

Savannah looked impressed and considered the car while shaking her head up and down.

“Twenty for wash by hand, Thirty for wax and eighty if you want a little premium service,” Crystal sat up fully so that the full measure of her bust could be seen as she listed off the prices like a movie starlet reading her sexiest lines.

I found myself standing awkwardly with a sponge in one hand and my finger pulling the back of my bikini out of my crack in the other. He looked over at my bikini top and stared at my chest for a solid minute while I smiled at him expectantly.

“Fuck that,” he turned to face forward and decided against getting his car washed. He ground his gears and spun his tires spraying dirt all over Odd Jobs truck – and me. His car made a lot of noise as he revved the engine before peeling out and leaving skid marks on the street.

Savannah flipped him the bird, “You old Tom Petty Lookin’ motherfucker.”

“It’s okay – one got away. There will be others.”

There were others. We had a dozen or so cars drive by us honking and yelling “Mamacita!” and whistling while we shook our asses and bid them to stop so we could have a look at their car. We saw more cars drive by in the first twenty minutes than we had stop yesterday.

Crystal and Savannah called them ‘tricks’ behind their back as a slang for customer.

We had two more that ended almost exactly the same as the Camaro guy. One trick got out and put suntan lotion on Crystal’s back, but when she asked him for the money he got offended and sped off.

“This is bullshit,” Savannah didn’t like rejection and they seldom lost a customer on Glory Hill – but everyone knew them there. “These cheap-asses want us to give it away for the prices Odd Jobs said. Let’s just go back to the trailer. We ain’t never going to reach a thousand dollars.”

“We’ll get quality over quantity. If we have to deny a few cheapskates to get the ones who are loaded that’s fine,” Crystal shielded her eyes from the sun and encouraged us both to keep on trying. “There are enough people driving through the main gates I am not worried about losing those. You two just need to shake more ass and tits and strut around a little more to get them to pull over and see what you are doing!”

This was my second day as a car wash girl and I still found myself shocked every time my aunt told me to “Shake my ass and tits”. I had never met anyone like these people.

“Let’s get some tunes going!” Savannah clapped her hands and made a ‘woo’ noise when she turned on the boom-box we brought from home.

Bands a make her dance, bands a make her dance

All these chicks popping pussies, I’m just popping bands

Bands a make her dance, bands a make her dance

These chicks clappin’, and they ain’t using hands

Short hair, like Nia Long. Loose ones, she don’t need a loan

Start twerking when she hear her song, stripper pole her income

There was a strong hip-hop beat that made it easy to dance and shake. Savannah taught me how to twerk.

“Even Miley Cyrus’s ratchet ass can do this one,” Savannah showed me how to do what she called the squat and shake. She clapped her hands to the beat and told me get into it a little more. She told her mom to get her fat ass up and join us, but Crystal seemed content to let us do it.

We get trippy and then some. So nasty when she rollin’

She put that ass up in my hands, I remote control it! (Yeah ho)

She give me dome when the roof gone, at the K.O.D. she leave with me

I remember Miley’s show “Hannah Montana” was so Disney-perfect. I used to watch it as a little girl and dream of being in real show business with the bright lights and the concerts. I knew she had come out on the VMA music awards on MTV wearing little more than I had on and sticking her tongue out at everybody. I guess that she was shedding that good girl image and being a bad girl – just like I was starting to do. It’s strange how my life is mirroring the same path as Miley Cyrus.

This was all part of building business up – playing games and doing little spectacles. I knew that, but with the music up loud and us both trying to dance now everyone at the pool was actually watching us.

I have two left-feet and my mom never taught me how to dance. She wouldn’t have known how to do this one anyway.

“Get into a squat position. You don’t want to be too low to the ground, but low enough so that you can keep your balance,” Savannah put her hand on my back and did it with me. She pointed at my feet and told me to keep my knees behind my toes.

She got friends, bring three. I got drugs, I got drinks

Bend it over, Juicy J gon' poke it like wet paint

You say no to ratchet pussy, Juicy J can't

“Pop your booty out!” Savannah pressed the flat of her hand to my tummy and helped me to pivot my ass out. “Get into a stance where it looks like you are about to sit into a chair--your booty should be the entire show!”

“Work it,” Savannah smacked me on my ass playfully and we laughed over the song.

Racks errwhere, they showin' racks, I'm throwing racks

In the V.I.P, rubber on I’m stretching that

Rich niggas tippin', broke niggas lookin'

And it ain't a strip club if they ain't showin' pussy

“Hold your hands up, either in the air or by your sides and shake your booty back and forth like this girl!” Savannah showed me and practiced getting into the rhythm along with the music. We were in synch and having fun dancing around.

A dirty white van slid up to the curb where we were playing around just like they had intended. “Like flies to the honey,” Savannah stopped dancing to greet the newcomer, “Oh it’s you.”

It was the old man from the day before. He sat in his van and didn’t acknowledge us.

“It’s Larry,” Savannah grinned at me, “I guess you got the pig tails today. He likes pig tails. You ready to piss him off?”

I nodded that I was and took a deep breath. This was it – Showtime!