Chapter One Hundred-One

Our First Grift

“How dare you!” I had hardly stood back up and was wiping the sandy grit from my bare knees when a woman’s voice shrieked accusingly at us. The middle-aged woman’s tone instantly raised the hairs on my neck as I spun to see who it was.

We were standing just outside the men’s bathroom under the shade of an awning so not too many people noticed us – but obviously the woman sitting closest to the men’s room had been the exception.

She wore a very modest green one piece and was fairly heavy set with reddish auburn hair set in curlers. She spoke with a country accent but not the sassy kind like Crystal or the sexy kind like Delilah – it was more like Nancy Grace the shrieking news anchor.

Her criticism wasn’t actually launched at me. She focused in on Odd-Jobs and told him that what he was doing was abuse and how dare he treat us this way. “I seen what you done did!”

Odd-Jobs remained unflappable in the face of the woman’s criticism. I got the impression he had a lot of practice as people bitched about busted, rusty pipes bursting or toilets overflowing over the twenty some-odd years he had overseen the management of the vast trailer park. “What exactly is abuse?” he crossed his arms once the woman let him get a word in edge wise.

“You grabbed this here woman’s titty and twisted it like it was a pretzel for one thang!” she pantomimed twisting a faucet to turn the water on adding “and then you wouldn’t let her daughter eat breakfast – so she had to eat god only knows wha-hut off’n the dang-gonned old dirty side-walk! Got the two of them showing off everything here at the pool and they is kids around here, and people’s grammas and what not. I aint no old stick in the mud, but I got to say – that just aint right, I tell ya wha-hutt!”

“Are you finished?” Odd-Jobs made sure she would let him talk and just as I thought he would explain he turned to us and asked if we minded the treatment we were getting.

I saw this very uncomfortable look creeping across my mom’s face. I know the look well because it’s the one I am sure I do when I want to just run and bury my head in the sand and hide from all this.

There was no time like the present to dust off yesterday’s acting chops, swallow my pride and start playing the rich bitch from Cherry Lawn Estates. I took a deep breath and looked at the woman. I am not naturally a bitch – or at least I don’t think so but after a few days of pretending to be one I had the evil, snotty face down to a science.

“Abuse, Ma’am?” I said the word Ma’am like it was an insult but I said it none-the-less.”Thank you so much for noticing! I was going to complain myself,” I started with a dry, snotty and sarcastic tone. “All my mother and I did was spend all the money we got from Welfare on getting facials and our nails done, and forget to pay a few bills like rent, electricity, water, and for food and suddenly we have to be taught a LESSON to value things? Why? Daddy will just send more money. He lost his fortune and we had to move here with my Aunt but I am sure it’s a temporary setback?” the woman wasn’t catching on to my sarcasm so I had to lay it on even thicker.

“They asked us to clean up and we said why? There should be a maid and so we let it get grubby and nasty in their house. Why should WE clean up after ourselves? Just because it’s our MESS? Haha, not for rich people like us, am I right, Ma’am?” I smiled.

“Well no!” she shook her head that I was absolutely incorrect about that and looked at Odd-Jobs for an explanation.

“He is my step-uncle or something like that, don’t listen to him. He thinks he is going to straighten us out and make us learn a lesson on humility and our prideful ways. He insists we start calling everyone Ma’am or Sir – to speak to our betters, can you believe it? How corny is that, Ma’am?” I chuckled like I was a posh, elite rich-girl talking about how quaint it was I had to open my own door at the country club.

“When I grew up we said Sir and Ma’am to every adult – that was just respeck!” she disagreed with me whole-heartedly.

“As if!” I waved my hand dismissively at her “Look how you turned out? A beast, you are fat, and your tits sag. You probably couldn’t catch a dick if it was thrown at you, I mean no offense, Ma’am” I absolutely did mean offense and I almost laughed out loud at how awful I was being.

I couldn’t look at my mom while I put on this character. I didn’t even want to think about her reaction as I was absolutely horrid to this plain, trailer park woman.

“Why! That is just awful,” the more the woman narrowed her bushy eye-brows at me the more I scrunched up my face to stare daggers right back at her.

“You don’t know the half of it, Ma’am” I pretended I thought she was agreeing with my side of the story while I told her how I promised the night before to babysit my Aunt’s kids for their anniversary but I got bored and decided to go out drinking “and just for THAT Odd-Jobs and the men say they are putting their foot down and taking us down here to teach us some kind of lesson on all our misbehavior. They think they can scare us straight – but they don’t know us. They dared us to come down here and try to learn and you know what we made them do?”

“Wha-hutt?” the woman was caught up in my story. Her husband had a greasy mullet and was calling for a beer from the ice-chest.

“Just ignore him, Ma’am” I told her and said “We double DOG dared them to make us come down here and said if they are going to teach us a lesson – they better hurry up, because we’ve got time at the spa at 2pm and we don’t want to miss cocktail hour either!”

“Get that man a beer, slut!” Odd-Jobs demanded almost as if he were picking up on my verbal cues to say something to me.

“Oh my gawd, will you listen to him, Ma’am?” I was no longer calling her Ma’am like it was an insult. I was talking to her as if she were on my side even though from her face I could tell she was disgusted with me. “Do you mind? I have to do this or else he will spank me! And oh heaven knows, that’s gonna hurt!” I rolled my eyes as if it would be completely painless.

I didn’t wait for her permission. I bent over at the waist, reached into the man’s ice-chest keeping my ass level to his sunglasses while he lay back in the lawn chair. I bent down low enough to put a bottle of beer between my boobs and then using my fingers to squeeze the sides of my tits lifted it out between them. “This is how we have to serve the men beer? Can you believe it, Sir?” I spoke to her husband now “You would never try to teach YOUR wife a lesson and make her do it that way would you?” I offered my tits to him and pushed them in his face. My nipples were poking through the tiny string top and as hard as diamonds.

“You are damn skippy!” he chuckled “She would never do it!”

“You wouldn’t dare in front of our boys!” The woman made a disgusted grunt and kicked the side of her husband’s chair. One of her son’s was the boy I had thrown into the pool and the other wasn’t much older – they were both fawning over me.

“Hell yeah, they know what titties look like,” the redneck husband nodded in approval at his sons who beamed with pride.

“That is one of the hardest parts of this Ma’am,” I got her attention “We have to be nice to people we would normally walk on,” I looked up at Odd-Jobs who was grinning from ear to ear with the same kind of approval at me. He didn’t normally participate in grifts but he was clearly making an exception here.

“You threw that boy in the pool,” Odd-Jobs waiting for me to laugh and acknowledge I did it because he was so annoying before making me apologize. “Get down on your hands and knees and apologize to him.”

“I don’t wanna, Sir!” I whined like a petulant child and offered the excuse that this woman wouldn’t want me to do it – since she was so against it when she first came to our defense.

“I mean, there t’aint no harm in ‘pologizing and if it teach her a lesson, I mean I’d probably like to see the rich bitch get down and apologize to Griff,” she motioned to her son.

“Don’t make me do a full apology Sir? He is barely 8 years old!” I complained to Odd-Jobs.

“I am thirteen!” the boy demanded I respect his real age – as if thirteen was something I should see as mature.

His brother corrected “Twelve and a half!” and Griff shrugged off his embellishment while wiping the water from his eyes –still wet from the pool.

“If I was to make you do a FULL apology, these people would correct your misbehavior! You remember that an apology STARTS with you admitting what you did wrong, and begging for forgiveness then accepting judgement. I doubt they would be agreeable to that!” his statement was a question waiting for them to bite.

They were too stupid to take the bait and waited for him to come right out and ask.

“Show them a proper apology! I’ve got a question for this woman’s husband!” Odd-Jobs smacked my butt and I squatted down so that I was beneath Griff.

1. “Squat lower than the person you are apologizing too,” I pretended to list off the protocol for proper apologies. It changed every time we pulled this grift.

Odd-Jobs kicked my knees apart wide and said “Make sure you are prone, vulnerable and exposed,” the thong I had on barely covered my slit and if I had any hair on my pussy at all it would have been visible.

I rolled my eyes at him and said “Durr” as I put my hands on top of my head and interlaced my fingers as if I knew that was the next step. We were actually completely improvising this as we went and my heart was racing with anticipation. The woman had only minutes before declared what we were doing was abuse and now she watched me bow myself to her son.

“Head up, Tits out, shoulders back” Odd-Jobs pushed the middle of my back and I complied as he posed me like a Barbie doll. I now had my lower body on the ground while I strained to hold my upper body up and stick my tits out as much as I could.

“Can I say my apology now or are you going to drag this out and embarrass these people further, Sir?” my tone was scathing and impatient.

“Lordy – you have your hands full with this one,” she shook her head at me in disbelief.

“I learned it from my mama!” I quipped proudly and then gave a half-hearted apology like I were drowsy “I am sorry I picked you up and threw you in the pool for being a little squirt and staring at our boobs, Griff – please don’t be mad! There? Happy?”

Odd-Jobs was actually quite happy but he played his part as the strict disciplinarian.

“Griff, does she seem like she is sorry?” Odd-Jobs asked the boy patronizingly while actually asking his parents.

Griff stood there picking his bathing suit out of his butt and grinned while staring at my tits. I could barely look him in the eyes with a straight face. If this grift was to fail, this was probably where I would lose it.

“Griff can’t spank me hard enough to make me cry and neither can you, Sir – so can I get up now or did you want to see me wobble on my toes down here longer?” I seemed unimpressed and annoyed. It was not a natural state for someone as perky and goody-two shoes as I was but I was well into my act at this point.

“It’s true – I care about her too much and spoil her,” Odd-Jobs lied through his teeth.

“Well god-damned, I’d spank her!” the husband with the mullet offered nearly choking on his beer. His wife smacked him and he was clearly joking but Odd-Jobs seized on the closing argument.

“Would you? It would mean a lot if you could show her the error of her ways?” Odd-Jobs made it clear he wasn’t joking at all and the man cocked his eye brow and looked at his wife for permission knowing full well she wouldn’t give it.

“Hell, I bet he could give me ten swats across the ass and I wouldn’t even flinch, Sir!” I made a bet that I had learned the day before when doing this grift with my brother as the punisher.

“A bet? You haven’t got any money,” Odd-Jobs was quick-witted and knew right where I was taking things “You are supposed to be out here earning back all the money you OWE so you can get your lights turned on and pay the family back for all the money you borrowed.”

“Why not? It’s easy money,” and looking at his wife I added “No offense, but your husband is probably a bit of a wet noodle. I doubt he wears the pants in the family just between you and me, Ma’am” it was obviously NOT between me and her as I called him out right in front of her and her son.

“You don’t know anything young lady!” the redneck wife was livid now and quaffing her own ice cold beer.

“I know your husband probably swats asses like a girl – he ever take down your panties and spank your big old fat ass, Ma’am?” I looked over at my mom with laughter on my face. My mother was mortified I was talking to this woman this way and I almost lost my nerve.

The redneck put down his beer with a clink and stood up. He was easily six foot four and two hundred and fifty pounds of redneck beef. I had made this bet with scrawny guys in the past and was thinking I may have gone the wrong direction but my backpedalling only made him more eager. “You wouldn’t dare do it right here in front of everyone though! Have him take me out back, Please Sir?” I pleaded to Odd-Jobs but I was already standing up and turning around.

I bent at the waist and touched my toes in one fluid motion removing my bottoms completely and holding them in one hand. I had done this enough before that I was almost too slick to seem like I was afraid. I made a mental note to try that a different way the next time but if the family was skeptical – they didn’t say so.

I heard the boys laugh at my butt and at this point even the wife was fully in favor of me getting a “Whoopin’”.

“The thing is,” Odd-Jobs stopped him right here. We had learned rather than to ask price BEFORE the spanking began to wait until they were committed and just about to give it. It meant they had more time to stare at my pink little poop hole but it also put them on the spot for the money-grab of the grift.

“You see – I hate to ask this and I wouldn’t except that,” Odd-Jobs could sell heaters in hell and air-conditioning at the north pole. I wish I could remember exactly how succinctly he put it but he made the case that my mother and I were here to pay off a debt and if this man wanted to help – he wouldn’t take the bet. “I’ve got to keep these girls working. She didn’t know any better when she made the bet! Let’s just make it only fifty dollars that she won’t cry after ten swats?”

The man never questioned that he never spoke about money when I made the bet and was already opening up his wallet. “Fuck that – let’s make it a hundred and give me twenty!”

I looked behind me nervously and said “They would NEVER do this at Cherry Lawn Country Club! You would be ejected immediately! It’s barbaric,” I didn’t see the handshake and the exchange of money but I felt the first painful slap of the heavy hand across my ass and what a painful spanking it was.

I shook physically and I could feel the vibration not only in my ass cheeks but in my bones. His boys laughed hysterically and I wasn’t done with my show. Odd-Jobs stopped him from hammering my ass with a second follow up to allow me some breathing room by insisting I count them out and thank him.

“ONE Sir – thank you for spanking my ass hard – but I won’t cry! Not never!”

SWAR-WRACK!” the second shot made my spine flinch! I felt it when my abdomen tightened up.

“TWO SIR! Thank you so much for the attempt at teaching me manners! But you are gross and sweaty!” I threw an insult at him. I probably shouldn’t have taunted him but it just slipped out.

“What is that in your butt?” Griff asked and his brother smacked him to say it was a turd.

“It’s not a turd sir – it’s my butt plug!” I answered with sweat rolling down my face from the morning summer sun already starting to bake my fair skin. I was nervous and excited and fearful all at the same time. Mom had never seen my act – how much of this would she forgive?

“What’s a butt plug?” Griff asked with a goofy grin like he was confused and amused – conmused.

“Like the one in mommy’s bedroom drawer – the naughty drawer!” Griff’s brother explained and I heard his mom correct him that it wasn’t like that and tell him to stay out of there.

“Why you have that in your butt? You like it?” Griff asked still conmused.

“Don’t make me tell him, Sir” I begged Odd-Jobs but I knew he was going to insist before I even asked “It’s because I like to play with my butt and do naughty things with it, Sir – and so Odd-Jobs insisted I wear this to keep me from trying to stick other things in it” I explained it as simply as I could. I was play-acting but even still it seemed deeply humiliating to say more than that.

“Like sticking peckers in it?” Griff giggled and his brother laughed. I was actually relieved that their father’s spanking ended the line of questioning.

“Can you believe this bitch?” the big-redneck behind me said in a deep voice as he issued a third and fourth strike rapidly to my ass.

“THREE AND FOUR! HEY NO FAIR! You didn’t let me answer, SIR” I pouted angrily.

“You know what else aint fair?” he hit me a fifth time hard and his boys fell over themselves with laughter. At this point, I was sure we were drawing a crowd which was often good for more business.

“FIVE- thank you Sir but It’s not fair that you get to see my pussy and ass- that’s reserved for rich boys who drive fancy cars – not redneck truck-lovers!” I heard some laughter from a few of the people watching nearby as well now.

Another hard slap and his snappy retort was “Why – you aint got nothing but mud-flaps back here - something special about this tiny little ass?” his sixth hit was either not as earth-shatteringly hard as the first few or I was getting into the groove of moving with his hand when he pounded the flat of his palm against my ass.

“Seven! Thank you Sir!” I don’t know why I threw this in but I added “Your boys shouldn’t see though! Even though I had to apologize to Griff- Give me a little respect!”

“Respect?” the redneck father put both hands around my chest and before I knew it lifted me up while holding my tits and launched me like a catapult into the water. I lost the yellow bottoms I was holding as he flung me over the side and nearly hit two teenage boys who had managed to somehow not notice until then.

As this was the first real grift in the pool area because the other girls were working cars at the sidewalk and so many of the weekend people at the pool were different than the day before – all thirty or forty people at the pool were watching me.

Catfish even joked on the microphone “There goes another bottom-less slut! Someone get muh net!”

I climbed out of the pool soaking wet and missing my bottoms completely.

“Okay, you had your fun – but spanking time is over because you can’t just throw me in the water, Sir!” I held up a finger as if making a point. I was actually serious but Odd-Jobs saw it as part of the show and ordered me to stand where I was at the edge of the pool.

“Then Mom should have to do this too! She is the one who raised me and taught me to be a bitch!” I reacted without thinking to the sudden exposure and laughter of thirty people seeing me bottomless at the pool’s edge as I turned around to face away from the man and hold my ankles for him.

I was surprised to see my mom voluntarily take a position right next to me and hold her ankles as well. There was a look of confused betrayal on my mom’s face that sent shivers down my spine. I looked away from her and straight ahead at some fat man taking pictures of us with his cell phone and shouted “Why don’t you take a picture – it’ll last longer!” sticking my tongue out.

“I AM taking a picture,” he laughed.

I let him get the best of me and remained tongued tied – something that made the local rednecks laugh even harder at us.

“She still has on her bathing suit!” Griff protested as if it were the most unjust thing in the world that my mother – who had done nothing wrong at all wasn’t bottomless too.

“It’s a one piece, Sir” my mom explained sweetly and submissively.

“It’s a bare-ass spanking though,” the redneck husband chuckled.

I saw my mom stand and remove the purple one piece completely and set it down while I remained bent over. It seemed to take a full minute for her to strip but it was probably only seconds. Time has a way of passing slowly when you are in a heated, embarrassing and painful ordeal like this. She took up a position next to me and did her best to bend at the waist.

“You ain’t from Cherry Lawn Estates!” the man spanked my ass hard and then my mothers.

“Seven and Eight – sorry Sir – we very much are, and I am a member of the Home Owners Association. If you were to give a bare-ass spanking at our community pool, I can assure you that you would get a stern talking too!” I couldn’t be sure how much of this was an act but it was enough to fuel the man’s hatred of rich people.

“You talk like one of those liberals!” he spanked my mom’s ass hard and forgot about mine. As hard as he hit – I wasn’t feeling generous enough to remind him to do us both.

“..and you talk like a Neanderthal and a troglodyte but you are the one getting to spank my butt – so enjoy it sir! Thank you that was number ten!” mom took the spankings like a champion.

“Does a dirty, liberal like you even care that your daughter turned out to be a snob just like you?” the man pounded her ass “Should I whoop her ass instead?”

“Eleven – thank you! Sir I don’t care – in fact, I wish you would pound some sense into her. It would save me having to endure this. I don’t know what is worse – your talking or the fact you slap like a girl!”

If there was an ounce of sympathy in this man – it was gone now as he laid into my mom hard. I heard the slaps and I felt sympathetic shivers rattle through me as he nearly knocked her into the pool each time.

“Even though we drive a new Cadillac, because we don’t work, Obama gave us a phone and free food stamps, Sir.” my mom said as the man directed his impotent rage into her. He hit her as hard as possible for him and she absorbed it without flinching. “It’s like you aren’t even trying! You only have two left – will that be enough to teach me the error of my ways, Sir?”

“God Damn it,” the man was losing face in front of other rednecks who weren’t impressed he couldn’t make my mother cry. “The bet was rigged because now I spent half of them on one and half on the other bitch,” he had already conceded he lost.

Odd-Jobs was right there in the background to offer him double or nothing- at our expense.

“Tell you what – you do twenty each and if either of them cry – I’ll give you all your money back. If not, let’s make it double” Odd-Jobs was careful not to say an exact dollar amount and that was one of the finer touches of his grift. It made it easier for the man to agree.

“Daddy – how come the older one doesn’t have a butt plug?” Griff giggled while the man fidgeted with his wallet. He ignored his son and I was about to answer his question with some nonsense when my mom answered him.

“I swallowed mine, Sir!” she said playfully and winked at me. That wasn’t where I would have gone with it – but for a first try, she was doing exceptionally well. I wanted to look at the marks he was leaving on her ass but I remained bent over.

“Mom, can we go? This is boring me,” I pretended to chew gum impatiently and looked up to see Tawny and her mother April staring daggers at us. April was sitting with a handsome well-tanned man in his forties that was different from the one the day before. She didn’t seem to care what we were doing but she wasn’t impressed either. Tawny on the other hand looked at me bitterly and I wondered if it was because my spoiled brat seemed a lot like a parody version of her.

“What are you two looking at? You didn’t get your ass kicked enough already?” I probably shouldn’t have said that to Tawny but I was kicking hornet’s nest left and right and surprisingly the bully backed down and looked at the ground while Tyga flicked a thumbs up and a goofy smile until Tawny smacked his shoulder to stop.

“I don’t think this guy can swat his way out of a wet paper basket – he isn’t going to teach me manners any more than I could learn at Cherry Lawn Academy from Mr. Belvedere!” I made up the name of a fancy-sounding professor and my mom giggled at the reference.

“Oh dear, don’t you remember when you made poor Mr. Belvedere blush in front of his wife by sitting with your legs apart and no panties?” she joked back.

“Yes, it was a dreadfully boring funeral and I wanted to liven it up,” I don’t know where that joke came from – but my mom fell into the water laughing.

I reached down to pull her out with a smile on my face and she reached up and grabbed me by my hand and yanked me down into the water with a laugh. Once we were both cooled off and soaked she pulled my yellow string top off and threw it next to her own suit. “There – now we are even,” she got out of the water and stood back in position.

“Actually,” Odd-Jobs explained that he had worked out a different bet with the man.

“I hope it isn’t boring – he seems boring, Sir.” I said in a snobbish pseudo-british accent that came completely out of nowhere.

“I don’t think you will find this boring, stand over here by the wall!” Odd-Jobs had us move from the center of the pool area and I told him thank god! I was already starting to burn.

“My skin is very delicate and I don’t have all of my Sephora,” I was aware Sephora was high-end makeup but mom nodded at me not to say that.

She whispered as we walked through the giggling crowd towards a wall “they don’t sell sunscreen, hon”

I nodded and took her hand and gave it a light squeeze to let her know that I was on her side – hoping she took my signal.

“He knows your asses are harder than your head, so we decided on a game the whole family can play,” Odd-Jobs was bouncing a green, fuzzy tennis ball in one hand.

“What? I thought she thought this was abuse!? Aren’t you on my side Ma’am?” I knew full well she wasn’t and when she chucked a golf ball at me that much was confirmed. It went really wide and ricocheted harmlessly off the wall.

“That doesn’t count as one, does it?” the woman asked O.J. and he smiled at her that it would count as a practice throw.

“Go hurry up and fetch that ball and bring it back here to this nice lady,” O.J. made me run after the ball and I made sure to exaggerate shaking my ass and tits as I wound my way through a sea of pool chairs and ass grabs to bring it back to her.

“Thank her for throwing it at you,” Odd-Jobs ordered impatiently.

“The right way or the quick way, Sir?” I had no idea what way was which – I was just winging it.

“The right way of course,” the woman answered for him. She was emotionally invested in teaching me a lesson and they also had about four hundred dollars of their money invested in it as well from what I could tell.

It was best not to think about how high the stakes could be – it was part of the art of the grift.

I grunted and got down in front of her into a squatting – touching fingers from both hands to the ground to hold myself up like a rutting doggy and then begged by putting them in front of me “Thank you- Ma’am, you are so kind for throwing the ball at me – It was a pleasure to go fetch it for you,” I said through gritted teeth.

She was delighted at the attention “Well – she seems like she is learning a lesson!”

“Good! Can we go home now, Sir?” I said to Odd-Jobs with the same blunt-acerbic wit Savannah would show most of the time.

“No, you are here until you earn back all the money you stole,” Odd-jobs was spinning we were thieves now? “or don’t you remember the money you stuck up your ass – to try to sneak out and buy those bathing suits you wanted?”

“These trailer park string bikinis just fall off – we wanted something nice, Sir!” I rolled with the lie.

You could take welfare, you could lie, and you could cheat – but stealing from family was a big no-no at the Buckman and I could sense the woman’s vitriol building.

“What? I just stole from my Uncle – he could earn more! It’s ONLY Mon-eee!” I drew out the word money in the brattiest way I knew how and she looked like she was going to punch me in the face. I was genuinely afraid and retreated back to where my mom was standing.

“You are teaching my niece some manners – and we thank you for that, I know it isn’t the most conventional way to teach a..” Odd-Jobs was about to give his explanation when one of the boys launched a tennis ball at us and narrowly missed my tit as it raced by. The look on my face must have been absolute horror because the crowd roared with laughter.

“Okay – rules are simple,” Odd-Jobs skipped his introduction and went straight into it by making us start doing jumping jacks.

Mom complied right away moving her legs apart as she put her arms over her head in perfect time with the rock music coming from the DJ booth.

“Why? What are the rules first sir?” I asked before starting the excercises.

Odd-Jobs said for every question I ask or second I waste – he was going to add one more throw to their bucket. I joined my mother trying to match her timing and noticing how perfectly her ass did bounce each time she completed a jumping jack. I had never noticed she had such a nice butt – but I guess she HAD earned that nickname.