Chapter Nine

Welcome to Rowdy’s Family Restaurant

We spent the next two hours in the yard washing and rubbing Ted’s old truck and occasionally working some lecherous old man or some lecherous young man to let us wash theirs.

There was nothing particularly remarkable about the men or Savannah’s approach to the transaction. She flirted shamelessly and pretended we were stuck outside washing Ted’s truck. Then she feigned interest in washing their car and suckered them into paying us to do it.

They were paying to watch us spray each other with the garden hose and ‘accidentally’ let our tops slip – there could be no mistaking that. We had neither wax nor any intention to actually wash their car fully. I am a conscientious person, so whenever I could I did try to give them a little value for their money.

We never earned the big cash like we had from the earlier jobs and they were mostly not very memorable people. Savannah had me slip a few extra dollars into my panties and said not to split that with her mother. I wasn’t going to do it but I didn’t want to seem like a coward.

Much of today was an eye-opener for me on what I could actually do. I had asked for equal punishment when I was about to be given an exception. I think had I really thought about it though, it had been Savannah’s idea, and maybe she did deserve more punishment.

I did not really think about it though. Instead, I had been caught up in the fact that I was being looked at not as a girl playing in the hose, but as a woman who was playing in the hose and it was a very different feeling entirely.

There was a very freeing feeling to it that I could do this outrageous thing and someone else not be offended.

At one point a guy they call “Ding Dong” rode his bicycle past us. He rode past us a few times. This was not unexpected – we had many people who were looky-loos that gawked at us, but on the third pass I gasped.

Ding Dong could best be described as a well-tanned, very burly 40 year old man who is balding. He has a ring of blonde hair that he has either glued from hair-extensions or grown himself in a semi-circle around the top of his head. He looked like a cross between an aged Hulk Hogan and football-star Terry Bradshaw.

He was wearing tiny cut-off denim jean shorts and I could see the full length of his penis hanging out as he rode by. He smiled at me as if to wish me a ‘Great afternoon’ but he was clearly flashing us.

I had seen two cocks today already but seeing him ride by and just letting it hang out like that completely surprised me.

“Ding-Dong stop riding up and down here!” Savannah threw a rock in his direction “We’ve all seen your pecker! Put it back in your pants.” Once he rode past she acted like nothing had just happened.

“What was that?” I asked in surprise. I shouldn’t be surprised by anything at the Buckman but things continue to shock me here.

“He is the trailer park flasher.” She polished Ted’s grill for the hundredth time today. It seemed she didn’t feel the need to explain any further.

“No one has him arrested?” I asked with surprise that they would allow such a demented maniac to just ride up and down their streets without raising some pitchforks and burning torches or at the very least calling the police.

“We’ve been out here today flashing titties,” Savannah explained very plainly. “Did anyone call the law on us?”

I wanted to explain ‘But we’re girls and it’s cute when we do it’; but I realized before I said it how that didn’t sound right. It was true though. As girls, what we were doing seemed okay and if a guy did it – it just didn’t.

“Look,” she explained as she started to pour out the water bucket, “before Ding Dong, it was another guy and before him it was another guy before that. There is always a Trailer Park flasher – sometimes even two. I think folks know if you got one arrested then there would just be another one.”

I wanted to argue the point that if they enforced the law then eventually they’d just take them off the street and it would stop; but Savannah was already running into the trailer and I realized she would probably have a good counter argument.

“Oh no,” Crystal didn’t look up from watching TV, “You two little twats get back out there and wash Dennis’s car so we have money to go to Rowdy’s.”

Tyrell’s nephew was in the floor coloring on what looked like someone’s high school text book. He had been here much longer than one hour.

“Momma it’s almost 6pm – my ride will be here soon.” She handed her mother the coffee can that contained most of our earnings. “Let’s split it up and get ready!”

“How about you two sneaky little bitches hand over what you have hidden on you?” Crystal said without even looking in the coffee can.

“Mom,” Savannah put her hands on her hips like that was patently offensive to even suggest.

“Slip off that suit and let’s see?” Crystal finally looked up from the television. Ted and Nelly jr. both said nothing, but had impossibly large grins on their face.

“What! No!” Savannah insisted indignantly “Not in front of Ted and Tyrell’s nephew! Why is he still here anyway?”

“Buckman Daycare,” Crystal said with a shrug. I would come to learn later that term meant the act of going to one’s neighbor and asking them to babysit for a short while – then not returning for a long time. The neighbor would often ask another neighbor to babysit the child and pass them off a few times until the original parent tracks them or the kid down. This is what passed for a functioning ‘daycare’ system here.

“Now hand over the cash so we can split it fairly,” Crystal insisted; adding, “You were supposed to be naked all day anyway.”

Savannah rolled her eyes at the absurdity of that statement. “You have never done a punishment all the way to the end in your life,” Savannah sounded proud of her mother and implied that she was confident that the punishment was now over.

“I can’t believe YOUR mother insisted on it,” Savannah looked at me with surprise. I wanted to tell her I didn’t remember it quite like that because when she said it like that it made my mom sound crazy.

“Drop the linen and start the grinning, ladies,” Ted insisted we both strip.

“Oh my Gawd,” Savannah looked at her mom not with panic but the look of someone who doesn’t want to have to return to the back of the line at the DMV and is imploring the unconcerned woman behind the desk to let her skip back to the front of the line.

Crystal didn’t budge and stared right back at her daughter.

“Fine,” Savannah wanted Nelly Jr to turn around so that he couldn’t stare at us. “Tell him to turn around at least.”

“Fuck you little white-bitch,” Nelly Jr’s voice was as cute and precocious as a child, but he talked completely gangster, “You ain’t the mother fucking boss of me!” He leaned with his arms crossed and stubbornly refused to looking away. “Proceed!” he added “It aint like I aint never seen what you got anyway”.

“Drop the drawers, Ladies” Ted insisted to us all. There was an awkward quiet after Ted spoke. He liked to think of himself as an authority figure; but sometimes his commands and posturing made him actually sound like a man desperate for respect who just overstepped his bounds but wasn’t going to step it back.

Savannah whined a bit but pulled her panties all the way down to her ankles, “Happy?”

“Turn around,” Crystal said without a trace of remorse.

“Fine,” Savannah said and without turning around reached behind herself and pulled twenty dollars she had folded in her crack and extended it to her mother.

“Gross,” Ted laughed heartily. “Now we can ask the waiter at Rowdy’s if he can tell which twenty smells like Savannah’s nasty ass.”

Savannah bent over to pull her panties back up and Crystal harrumphed “I said turn around.”

Savannah stopped and wheeled around to face her ass towards the others in the living room. She reached between her own cheeks and plucked out another ten dollar bill and extended it to her mother.

“Good girl,” Crystal laughed and asked me to hand over my cash.

I pulled the TWENTY dollars Savannah had told me was an equal split between us out of the front of my panties and handed to Crystal. Crystal smiled and called me a good girl and told us we could go get dressed.

“Wait, you aren’t going to make her undress and spin around?” Ted AND Savannah both said basically the same thing at the same time.

“I am sure that’s all Ellen has on her,” Crystal’s stare locked on to me and my heart raced “Isn’t it dear?”

I nodded it was and she was absolutely right – how could she so easily see right through me?

“Get your cousin dressed and I’ll get this counted out for you,” Crystal sounded every bit the authority figure as she ordered us to return to our bedroom. I turned on my heel to walk away but Savannah stopped me by grabbing me by the arm. She made no move to pull her panties up from around her ankles.

“Let’s stay right here while she counts the money,” Savannah bobbed her head defiantly at her mother.

“Fine with me as long as you leave that bald beaver out,” Ted interjected with a big smile that only faded when Savannah flipped him the bird and ignored his barb.

“Fine with me too,” Crystal started to count the money out of the coffee can with the other money we brought inside.

Savannah harrumphed, “Aren’t you forgetting something, Mom?”

“You two are the sneaky bitches,” Crystal pointed a finger at her daughter “I don’t have to prove anything to you.”

Savannah folded her arms and flashed her baby blues at her mom with a look that she didn’t believe a word of it.

“Fine,” Crystal stood up out of the Ez-chair and rather than tell Nelly Jr. to keep his eyes on his coloring book – because she knew he would not, just told him not to tell Tyrell about this.

“Fuck you crazy cracker bitch,” the boy looked up from his coloring, “Uncle Tyrell paid you fifty dollars to watch me. You can’t tell me what not to do.”

Crystal was wearing a white terry cloth robe that came up thigh high. She shed that and then grumbled as she tugged at the tight one piece bathing suit that barely covered her taut and tan body. The mylar cloth and the perkiness of her fake boobs gave one the impression it was holding them close to her chest and as soon as she took them off they would spring up.

They just bounced a little as she stepped out of the suit and threw it to the ground, “You see?” standing before us fully naked.

Savannah wasted no time bending over and examining the swimsuit her mother had dropped and pulled out fifty dollars which she threw into the coffee can.

Crystal remained unapologetic and folded her arms in front of her chest.

Savannah reached under her mom’s tits right where her arms were and forcibly lifted both tits, letting two five dollar bills drop to the ground slowly. Savannah’s body language was not only vindication for being a thief but that her mother was sneakier than both of us combined.

There was a mutual respect that passed between them. I doubt Ted saw it and I know Nelly Jr., who was glancing up between coloring at the ‘crazy crackers’, didn’t see it. I think they both acted outwardly distrustful of each other just now but on some level they both respected how crafty the other one can be.

“Fine, you win,” Crystal smirked with a ‘you got me’ laugh on her face. “Now will you two go get dressed before your date shows up and sees us like this?”

“Savannah is going on a date? I thought we were going to Rowdy’s?” I said. I had been quiet the whole time and now all eyes were back on me. They didn’t explain or answer my question.

Savannah asked Crystal, “Aren’t you forgetting something?”

“Oh Jesus,” Crystal didn’t turn around. “You want to inspect me closer than my Gynecologist!”

Ted threw out “And your proctologist”, but neither woman laughed or acknowledged him.

Crystal turned around in front of her daughter and bent over and touched her toes. A twenty was neatly folded and right between her ass cheeks. “Well, take it out,” Crystal waited, adding, “I had to handle your ass-money.”

Savannah reluctantly plucked the twenty from her mother’s ass-crack and flung it into the coffee can pot of all our earnings.

Crystal stood up satisfied that they both had been inspected fully and sat down to count out the money without making an effort to cover herself.

Savannah pulled her panties back up and ignored Ted’s reminder it was ‘nude punishment day’ by holding her hand up to his face.

“Maybe I will wait for your date just like this,” Crystal amused herself as she counted.

“Suit yourself,” Savannah was non-plussed “It’s not like you haven’t before.”

They both laughed at that.

Crystal’s math involved moving money into different piles and constant shuffling where she changed tens into fives and fives back into tens. “Ones? What cheap-ass gave us a one dollar bill?” The ones usually ended up in my stack.

I made 54 dollars for my efforts today; which was admittedly fifty four more dollars than the family had this morning. The two of them made substantially more, but they had done most of the work and I was just happy to have a little cash. This would go a long way along towards repairing my lost wardrobe.

I hadn’t really paid attention when we went shopping on the cost of clothing, but it dawned on me that it would not replace my old wardrobe. One pair of jeans probably cost that much.

Savannah told me she would let me put something on to look good for Rowdy’s. Crystal said, “No, you both can wear some of my stuff,” she acted like that was a real treat.

I saw what my mom left the house in that morning – sequined short skirt, garish blue eye shadow and bubble gum pink lipstick.

Crystal walked us into her ‘boudoir’ as she called her bedroom. She remained completely naked and sat on her personal toilet and peed while directing us to pull out things from her closet.

I noticed a poster in there of a 1960s pin-up Jayne Mansfield. The quote under her rather large bosom read;

“If you are going to do something wrong - do it big because the punishment is the same either way.”

~ Jayne Mansfield

They let me pick my outfit after denying the first couple I suggested as too frumpy. I ended up wearing a white mid-riff top that showed my belly-button. I was reluctant for two reasons;

1. Neither of them had a bra small enough to fit me and the cloth was rather sheer

2. I felt I had a little pooch on my belly and it drew the eye there.

Crystal told me the two problems cancel each other out. “As long as they are looking up here,” she reminded me what she had said earlier about herself as she rested the side of her hand on my tits, “They won’t be looking down here,” she tapped my tummy.

“We need to get you doing sit-ups,” Crystal teased me.

The first day I had arrived I felt like a total outsider. The awful Cowboys and Indian’s game at the quarry had been some sort of baptism under fire or initiation into the Buckman. I think the long walk of shame home from the quarry had been where it started to really dawn on me that this place was so different than where I was from.

Today had begun with an embarrassing punishment and yet now I felt like ‘one of the girls’. They were making me feel like this trailer was actually my home and they were dishing with me about local gossip while they teased out my hair and prettied me up. They even told me I did “alright for my first time” at the car wash.

Savannah didn’t tell my aunt about the ice cream vendor. But I got the distinct impression that my Aunt had a good feeling we had gotten up to something naughty out there to earn the money; and thought more of me than less of me for doing it.

The skirt they finally agreed upon was red and about six-inches from the knee. This was one of the most conservative skirts in the closet. My waist wasn’t as big around as Crystals or my mother’s, but it was fairly close so I could wear it with a little clever use of a belt as an accessory.

I didn’t really think about it at the time but I remembered my mother’s skirt being shorter than this one and thinking how lucky I was I found it instead of her. I am sure she was raiding the closet for the most conservative thing she could find and this must have just been in the back.

Savannah and Crystal chose short-cute tops and skirts shorter than mine. Crystal yelled out into the living room, “Lloyd back and getting ready?”

Lloyd yelled back that he was.

“Don’t eat and spoil your dinner at Rowdy’s,” Crystal yelled again while doing my make-up and hair.

“Too late!” Lloyd laughed and added, “But I can use a second dinner!”

Crystal looked visibly proud of her son but said nothing back to him. There were hair straighteners, hair curlers, eye lash curlers, make-up brushes, sprays, bottles, tonics, make up removers, nail polish, nail polish removers, kaboodles full of colorful cheap makeup everywhere as we preened and polished to get ready to go out.

We heard the door open and Ted yell “Savannah your fucking Day-ayt is here,” sarcastically.

“Tell him to hold on, I am naked!” Savannah yelled into the living room with a smile, even though she was fully dressed and knew full well he could hear her.

We made her date wait another fifteen minutes before we exited my Aunt’s boudoir, looking like what I would only assume Charlie’s Angels might look like when they go undercover in a brothel.

“And so that is why I told that guy I am NOT a fucking racist,” Ted was mid-explanation to Savannah’s date when we walked into the living room, “Because that fucker was a Mexican and Mexico is a nation and not a race.”

Ted was still in his grundy-underwear and had not shaved. He was drinking a beer. My brother Conner and Lloyd were dressed and ready to leave to Rowdy’s. My brother had on a new t-shirt he borrowed from Lloyd, but the same shorts he wore the day before.

“I am so glad you came,” Savannah flitted across the room to hug her date. It was Todd the boy who had paid to have us wash his car earlier in the day. I had thought it was all an act when Savannah was flirting with him so I was confused that they were dating now?

“Well as I was fucking saying before we got interrupted,” Ted burped and took a sip of his beer “By Shrek and her fucking twin daughters.” Ted paused to belch before continuing, “So sure I told him Mexico sucks, but I honestly just feel that America is the best country in the fucking world and all of the other countries just aren't as good. That used to be called fucking patriotism before god-damned Obama.”

“Ted,” Crystal cleared her throat “You aren’t even dressed or ready? We have reservations!”

“Hold your damned shit in, Woman!” Ted looked at Todd and said, “I am having a man to man talk with Todd about respecting women and fucking being a gentleman tonight, alright? I don’t have to wipe my hair and put on all kinds of god-damned makeup.” Ted

pantomimed wiping his eyes with what may have been imaginary rollers; which is probably what he thinks women do to get ready to go out.

“I am a fucking man. I just wipe my dick off and pull my jeans on and then throw a comb through my hair and I am ready to go. The problem is my truck won’t run.”

Crystal feigned surprise, “That’s awful!”

“I know, it fucking sucks,” Ted looked at Todd again and said to Crystal “I know Conner had his heart set on Rowdy’s to celebrate his birthday but that shit is going to be canceled tonight.”

My brother was about to correct Ted that it was not his birthday when Ted interrupted him to tell Savannah and Todd, “Well you two motherfuckers go have a happy-ass time tonight,” he sniffed and sipped his beer, whispering, but loudly enough it could be heard, “Make sure you use condoms.”

Todd took Savannah by the arm and proceeded to walk her to the door.

“I don’t think you heard what I said,” Ted stopped them.

“About the condoms? Yes I have some, Sir,” Todd was dumbfounded. “I even have dental dams.”

He turned to Savannah apologetically as if that had been too forward to say to her parents, “You know that’s for your protection as well as my own. I don’t know what you have, but you don’t know what I got.”

“I think my step-dad is too proud to ask but they need a ride to Rowdy’s for Conner’s birthday,” Savannah didn’t address what he said about contraceptives, but her tone remained sweet.

“No we couldn’t impose on your date. I am sure this motherfucker wants to get you out there in the field and do whatever he is going to do as quickly as he can, isn’t that right Todd? You wouldn’t have time to help us out for shit like a little kid’s birthday?”

Todd was intimidated by the way Ted had presented that scenario. I got the sense he didn’t want to seem like he was just going to take Savannah to an empty field and pound her because he actually said, “I don’t want you to think I am dating Savannah just to take her to an empty field and pound her. I mean sure we could go to Rowdy’s too and eat if you wanted?”

“Oh really? I’d love too!” Savannah bounced up and down on Todd’s arm. “Conner begged me to come to his birthday party, but I told him I had a date with you and I couldn’t make it. Didn’t you Conner?”

Ted was already putting his jeans on as the family made ready to pile into Todd’s car.

“Me? Oh yes I did, I was hoping you got me a birthday present – maybe a new pair of jeans?”

Savannah gave him a look that suggested he not ad-lib too much and push his luck. I giggled out loud because she gave me that same look when we washed cars and I tried to play along.

“I thought you were going to the Outback Steak House” Todd asked no one in particular as we assembled in the yard in front of his very shiny, blue ’66 Buick convertible.

“No rule’s juss right” Ted answered him in an Australian accent with reverence for the restaurant then added, “Fuck that place - They can suck my dick.”

“Ted got kicked out of there for trying to bring his own beer inside,” Crystal explained as she sat in the front seat.

Savannah eyed her mom incredulously and cleared her throat.

“Those motherfuckers didn’t have a sign posted that said it wasn’t B.Y.O.B and I wasn’t going to let this beer get fucking hot - Jesus Christ, fuck Austria.”

“It’s Australia I think,” Conner was trying to squeeze in with the rest of us in the back seat.

“Fuck all them European countries and their fucking Steak houses. I want American food - To Rowdys!” Ted raised his finger and before we were all seated Todd had already slammed on the gas and was racing down the tiny streets of the trailer park.

I should mention that it wasn’t even dark yet and there were still people walking and children playing painfully close to the side of the road.

Crystal, Ted, Lloyd, Conner, Nelly Jr. and I were all in the backseat and it was extremely close quarters.

Crystal sat on Ted’s lap.

I sat on Lloyd’s lap. That wasn’t so bad.

Nelly Jr. sat on my brother’s lap.

“Tyrell hadn’t come back and picked up this fucking kid yet?” Ted asked when he finally noticed Nelly Jr. was with us.

“Fuck you,” Nelly Jr. taunted him back, “At least I can still go into Outback steak house.”

Todd and Savannah didn’t say anything in the front seat, or if they did we couldn’t hear them over the loud stereo playing thundering heavy-metal music;

Yeah, I knew I hit the edge when I saw the spider -

Jukebox paranoid insider - Blaze they gaze - Amaze at the razor Stranglehold

L-O-V-E laze or Power Breakdown -Get on it!!!

Stateside crazy - Get wit' it!! Sista told ya - you ain't nothin' - Yeah - Yeah – Yeah- Yeah-ah!

Shadow make a move and it goes right through me - Gun Styl'n planet -Do me!!

Sling the ring they sting on the outside - Chromecrank'em 'til they're singing rawhide – Power Breakdown - Get on it!! Stateside crazy

Ted and Lloyd both rocked their heads back and forth like they were head-banging, but the rest of us seemed uncomfortable. Savannah tapped Todd on the shoulder and motioned he should turn the music down.

Todd looked clueless as to why the concert-level sound might be too much for the people crammed into his backseat.

“I love White Zombie’s first album, Whooh!” Ted had brought a beer with him in the car and chugged it, “If you have Molly Hatchet in this motherfucker I’ll let Savannah give you anal tonight!”

Crystal smacked him on the shoulder for being so crude and Savannah pretended not to hear him. I saw Lloyd and Conner crack a smirk.

“I don’t know what that is but maybe on the second date?” Todd seemed to be the only one in the car who didn’t realize Ted was joking.

“Yeah. Maybe,” Ted sucked his teeth and looked out the window, “Wow, would you look at the ass on Tawny! God-damn.”

Crystal looked at him with disbelief and he apologized, “I am sorry baby, it’s not as good as this ripe ass of yours. I know we aren’t legally married but I consider you my wife! You know I love you,” adding tenderly, “and not just in a make me cum way but in a really heart forever way.”

Savannah glared in the back of the car, “If you don’t shut the fuck up back there, I am going to ask my new boyfriend to crank up that White Zombie again.”

We didn’t speak much more on the ride to Rowdy’s. I knew Ted was an annoying prick with control issues, but I noticed that he seemed to get worse the more you got to know him. I think the fact he was not in control of this situation and driving the car, only made him want to exert control over Todd and the rest of us more.

He bit is tongue except to say what a sweet ride it was and ask what it had in it.

I smiled and piped up, “401 ci V8.”

He was impressed with my answer and nodded quietly.

I had no idea what a 401 ci V8 was, but I was quietly thankful I remembered Savannah telling him. I saw her smiling quietly in the front seat when she heard me say it.

Every time we hit a bump in the road or a pot hole I would be jolted upwards and then down again to land hard against my cousin’s lap. I could feel his erection growing underneath me and I knew he knew I felt it. I said nothing and just let him put his arms around me in his lap.

We passed old gas stations and Dollar General stores. There were mostly rural signs of civilization but nothing like the town I came from. Cherry Lawn had its own shopping center called the “Loop”. It had a Barnes and Nobles, Pet Store, Movie Theater, Target, Olive Garden and several upscale restaurants.

I expected the Buckman to have a shopping center they called the “Poop”, with a broken down K-mart and food-stamp office in it.

I wasn’t too far off the mark when we arrived at the drive-in-movie theater. It was used as a Flea Market on weekends and next to it was a few stores including “Rowdy’s Family Restaurant”.

“Just in fucking time,” Ted rushed us out of the backseat, “I just planted a fart-bomb in there that would have taken an hour to air out.” He offered his hand to Todd to thank him for the ride.

Todd shook his hand awkwardly, not knowing how to respond to someone admitting to farting in his car.

The family walked up to Rowdy’s Family Restaurant. There were lots of cars and pickup trucks in the parking lot and there was lively activity at the front door. The building had been designed to look like a barn and was painted bright red with white trim. It had just gotten dark when we walked up to the door.

“Hello Louise,” Ted sauntered up to the woman greeting at the door with his hands in his pockets. He clearly knew this woman.

“Hello Ted,” she rolled her eyes with disdain and an exhausted sigh.

“Louise used to work here when this place was a strip club called the Barn.” He chuckled as if that was an insult, “I guess they let you keep seating people at tables if you show your titties?”

“Ted,” Louise sighed impatiently and ignoring his crude question, “How many to be seated?”

“I don’t know Louise,” Ted looked at all of us and quipped sarcastically, “Can you not count?”

Even I knew that the hostess had to ask how many even if the party was all there in the waiting room – in case there were other people coming. It is hard to believe Ted would not know that but whether he did or did not – he seemed to enjoy lording over Louise like he was King of everything.

She sighed again and walked us to a large table in the center of the room. The dining area was loud and brisk with business. The furnishings were mostly wagon wheels and old cowboy art of wolves and sage brush. The entire inside of the restaurant was finished in wood to give it a very rustic, country feeling.

He asked her when we got to the table, “So how are the kids?”

She rolled her eyes and added, “They’re probably wondering when you are going to send their child support.” Louise promptly walked away without further explanation.

“Well, that was fucking awkward,” Ted laughed but no one else said anything.

“Should we go sit someplace else?” Todd asked Savannah if they might be more comfortable at a table for two.

She turned to him apologetically and hugged him, “Oh hon, I am so sorry. It’s my cousin’s birthday and I really want to hang out with the family. You can hang out with us if you want and we can go out later.” Savannah was only barely pretending she had been interested in this date with Todd at this point.

“Sure that’s cool.” Todd sat with us without catching on that he had just been a ride.

Savannah looked right at Crystal and said, “As long as I don’t get grounded or something.”

When the waitress came she was a sexy high school girl who seemed to be enamored with Lloyd. Even though he is my cousin, a part of me was jealous that he flirted right back. Lloyd doesn’t flirt in a creepy and domineering way like Ted does. He keeps it light and is just a pleasant person.

Ted on the other hand pinched her ass when she walked away to bring him a pitcher of beer and coke and tea for the rest of us. She looked at him with a little scorn but said absolutely nothing about it.

I noticed that many of the waitresses here were pretty and young and many of them were flirtatious with the customers. They probably had to put up with a lot of pinches on the butt. I think in a restaurant where I came from you’d get ejected or arrested, but here she just overlooked it.

Ted took the liberty of ordering for the table, “The motherfucking works!” Ted played the big spender even though he hadn’t earned a single dime of the money. He ordered a full pizza and steak for everyone. We were going to have sides of collard greens, sweet potato and one slab of baby back ribs.

It was painfully clear the family had used this boy for a ride to the restaurant and we had all been part of the grift. I know the word ‘grift’ because Savannah and Crystal had been telling me a few of the ones they prefer to use in order to get free meals at restaurants when we were getting ready.

The food was delicious and filling and we laughed, talked and I found myself fitting in nicely with the family meal. They joked around with me and we laughed about some of the experiences we had at the car wash, but never went into details in front of Todd since he was one of the guys we ‘grifted’.

I believe the family was about to pull one of the ‘grifts’ they normally do to get out of paying the check when Conner saw my mother in the window of the restaurant and called out “Mom!”

She was being followed by a man who was itching his neck and seemed to be begging for money from her but she didn’t see us.

Everyone except for Todd and Nelly Jr. got up to say hi to her. I distinctly remember Nelly asking Todd not to “keep eyeballing him” when they were by themselves as I walked outside.

When we caught up to my mother she was talking to the man that had been following her and had her back to us. She was still dressed in the outrageous outfit she had on the day before and was clutching her purse like it was the key to survival.

She was standing on a long porch that lined the front of the restaurant with ornate white fencing like a long balcony. There were over-sized checker boards with oversized checkers on them and rows upon rows of empty rocking chairs.

My mom was surprised when she turned around and saw us standing there smiling. The man she was talking to drifted back into the shadows.

Surprised not in a good way – more like a “What the fuck are you guys doing all the way out here?” way.

Conner ran up and hugged mom and her initial fear subsided. “I missed you too today, sweetie.”

She looked at me and I was afraid to come hug her. “I thought you were on punishment today?”

“I was Ma’am,” I had stopped saying Ma’am and Sir hours ago, but I felt it prudent to say it to my mom with her strict gaze on me.

“I made the judgment call to let her get dressed and come with us to Rowdy’s tonight,” Crystal stepped up and took full responsibility.

My mom seemed relieved and nodded acceptance of that decision. “How did you get here? I thought Ted’s truck was broke down?”

“You just have to get creative when you need something,” Ted pushed his shoulders back and strutted as if he were the mastermind of everything.

“That is true,” my mom said with a sense of irony.

“How was your job interview?” Crystal asked her.

“What?” my mom asked for clarification before adding, “Oh, I got the job.”

“You don’t seem too happy about it?” Crystal was concerned.

“It’s just temporary until I can get some money coming in,” My mom didn’t confirm she was happy and to me that meant she didn’t like the job but probably felt she had to do it. I felt like I could probably relate considering how today went.

“Where is Mike?” Ted asked about my father.

“He is still working,” My mom kept looking around as if she were waiting for someone. “He has a lot going on.”

An ominous white Cadillac pulled through the parking lot and stopped near us. I thought it might be the same one that had driven past us and Savannah warned me not to try to stop them for a car wash.

It waited for a minute and then pulled off into the darkness.

“Well who was that guy you were just talking to a few minutes ago?” Ted was puzzled and unconcerned about the Cadillac. It was a parking lot after all and they might have just been looking for a parking spot. I still got the impression they were staring at us and probably because of how we were dressed.

“Him?” My mom seemed nervous about the questions she was being asked, “He was just asking me directions.”

“Nobody that lives around here needs directions,” Ted was clearly skeptical.

“I think my sister doesn’t want to admit that she was dressed up sexy so guys are following her around trying to hit on her?” Crystal answered when my mom became distracted.

I saw how stressed out my mom was walking around outside. She had found her job and Dad was still working his. When I first received the money for washing cars I felt discouraged that it would take a long time to rebuild my wardrobe.

It dawned on me that the family had no money at all and that my first thought should have been to contribute it. I was feeling very guilty that I hadn’t thought of that until I saw my mom just now. Her hair was no longer in place and her make up looked like it might have started to run. She had clearly had a tough day.

“Mom,” I pulled the cash out of the tiny purse I was loaned, “I made this today and I wanted to donate it to our family fund.”

“How did you make this?” my mom sounded skeptical.

I hadn’t thought about how I was going to explain how I made the money. I just wanted her to have it and see that I contributed.

“The girls,” Crystal explained when she saw me nervously fidgeting with my answer, “went outside and washed some of the neighbor’s trucks to earn a little spending money.”

“Well thank you,” My mom hadn’t looked at me with approval in a few days. I used to get it constantly and took it for granted. “That was really unexpected.” My mom put the money tightly in her own purse.

It made me feel like a million bucks that I received her approval!

“Conner,” she asked my brother politely, “Did you think of any ways to help out?”

“Well uh,” Conner had a deer in the headlights look on his face, “I went mudding with Lloyd and the Riggins boys!”

“That sounds dangerous,” she told him and asked Crystal if she had approved of it.

Crystal nodded that she had. My mom told Conner he should try to find ways to help out like I did.

“I don’t think I’d look as good in a bathing suit as she does,” Conner was trying to pay me a compliment in the PG-13 way that my Aunt’s family does.

My mom looked me up and down and said rhetorically “Well I guess that’s sort of how you wash cars, isn’t it?” she asked if I was going to do it again tomorrow.

I looked at Crystal and Savannah.

“The thing is usually once you wash your cars you have to go a few weeks for them to get another check from the government or to get their cars dirty.” Crystal explained.

“This was your idea to wash the cars?” my mom asked me.

Savannah lied on my behalf and confirmed, “It sure was.”

I was complicit in that lie because I nodded in agreement. I craved my mother’s approval again and I think the reason I let the lie stand was she regarded me in a new light, “You really showed initiative, good going Ellen.”

“I am sorry about that punishment,” she hugged me tightly and said, “That was crazy. I have just been so stressed out lately and everything. It’s just when I saw you dressed up like a puppy like you were in front of Conner and everything I saw red.”

“It’s okay, Mom,” And it really was to me. I was not mad or holding a grudge at all. “You made the punishment fit the crime and I accept that.”

“Really?” My mom seemed to want my approval now, “I wanted to come back and tell you I had over-reacted and let you out of it.” She laughed now and almost teared up.

“I guess you got a little bit of an education on lady parts, huh?” My mom rubbed Conner’s head lovingly.

“We don’t have to tell your father about this,” she said very seriously and added, “Any of this.”

“We might have to ask him to bail us out of jail,” Ted was looking in the restaurant at our table being cleared. I could see Todd still sitting there waiting for us to return and pay the check. “We need a ride back to the Buckman.”

I am too young to know whether I believe in coincidence or fate, but the strangest ones keep happening to me.

At that moment when we needed a ride – a friendly face pulled up in a big red pickup truck and stopped in the parking lot right next to where we were standing.

It was the kindly old maintenance man who had given me a ride back to the trailer after Cowboys and Indians the day before.

“Odd-Jobs!” almost everyone said at the same time.

“Howdy neighbors,” he smiled. “You folks look like you are in need of assistance?”

“We could use a fucking ride!” Ted insisted.

“If you don’t mind riding in the back,” Odd-jobs offered the ride freely. “Mrs. Tinkle you can ride up front with me.”

I didn’t remember telling him my last name. I started to get into the passenger side with him – amazed I had been singled out. I thought perhaps I had left a lasting good impression on him.

Then I realized he had meant my mother. I learned later he had been the one to drive her in the morning. I had to hop in the back with the rest of the family. Lloyd and Ted high fived “Whoa, Dine and Dash!”

I was glad it was me and not my mother in the back of the truck. I know we had very little money, but she would have hated to learn we just walked out on the check.

The night air was cool in my hair and whipped around my face as we pulled out onto the old country roads that would take us to the Buckman.

“What about Nelly Jr?” I asked when I remembered we had left him with Todd and the check.

“I am right here,” he piped up angrily. All I could see was the whites of his eyes and the flash of his teeth. He must have managed to sneak back in with us after we left the restaurant. “Y’all crackers was fixing to leave me and that white boy to pay that check - You ain’t right!”

I could see inside the cab and my mother and Odd-jobs talked pleasantly. I smiled and turned back to my Aunt’s family to look at them. It struck me as odd looking at how happy and care-free everyone was right now that no one seemed the least bit concerned that we had just left Todd with the check at the restaurant.

No one seemed overly concerned that Tyrell might be looking for his nephew either. I keep mentioning that where I come from the parents would probably called the police or the babysitter would have if the parents didn’t come back.

Lloyd and Ted were daring Savannah to whip her top off and ride home with her “Tits in the breeze”; and she was telling them she wouldn’t. It wasn’t in the “No, that is patently offensive and outrageous” kind of way. It was in the “No, I am going to smile and make you keep asking me to do it; so that when I finally do, you’ll have had to work to see them” kind of way.

You had to yell in the back of the truck to be heard so I yelled, “My mom is in the front seat!”

“So?” Savannah yelled back.

We hit a big pot-hole and since none of us were buckled in, we all slid around the back together. “It’s just she might get offended,” I yelled back.

“Well hell, then I’d be more inclined to do it,” Savannah crossed her arms in front of herself and lifted her top over her head. She swung it around and shouted a defiant rebel yell to the full moon.

The guys cheered – even Nelly Jr. was having fun.

Then her top flew off into the darkness when she lost her grip on it – landing who knows where.

There was raucous laughter of a different kind – at Savannah’s misfortune.

Only Crystal and I did not laugh. Crystal didn’t laugh because it was one of her own nicer tops and she was pissed it was gone.

Savannah folded her arms across her chest and sulked the rest of the way home. I think the guys knew better than to keep poking a wounded lioness. They didn’t make fun of her other than a couple muffled giggles. I think it hurt her ego that she was mid-whoop when the wind just carted off her top like a hawk grabbing a baby mouse that had just shot the hawk the middle finger.

When we finally made it to the Buckman my mom asked Savannah what happened.

Savannah said nothing as she climbed out of the back of the truck with her arms folded across her chest to cover her bare breasts.

“She lost her shirt back there,” Lloyd felt the need to clarify by saying, “Windy.”

“Why didn’t anyone else lose their shirt then?” my mom was back to being uptight. Savannah didn’t wait around to explain and ran inside the trailer.

The dogs started barking loudly at Odd-Jobs and he just laughed as he walked with the family to the trailer door. “You know I don’t think you ever did pay the pet deposit on those dogs,” he smiled sweetly.

Crystal rolled her eyes quickly and let out a long breath, “How much is that going to cost me?”

“Oh, nothing!” Odd-jobs assured her sweetly. “I don’t want you to worry about it after you just had such a delightful meal. I was just thinking that I might pop around tomorrow and collect.”

Ted started to posture towards him and Odd-Jobs just grinned at Ted and told him to go on inside and have a beer. Ted pretended he wanted to have a beer anyway and did exactly as told.

When Savannah and I walked past him he said, “I suppose you lovely ladies will be down at the Stop N Play tonight?”

My mom asked what that was and he explained it was a recreation center for the kids. “The hours are only until 6pm though. There are some older kids who like to go there and drink and smoke after hours. I would assume your girls will probably be there tonight?”

“Absolutely not,” my mom insisted.

“I already told them no,” Crystal reminded us.

“We didn’t think you were serious about that,” Savannah questioned her mother’s judgment on that.

Lloyd took that moment to ask if he could meet the Riggins boys down there.

My Aunt took one look at him and said, “Sure, baby” and sent him on his way.

“That’s not fair!” Savannah called back. She hadn’t put on a shirt yet, so she was still standing in the living room holding her boobs with the palms of her hand.

“There is one big difference between you and your brother,” Crystal laughed and held up a finger. “He can’t get pregnant.”