Chapter Six

Working at the Car Wash

My mother was not happy at the sight of her daughter on the floor in a skimpy doggy suit wiggling a rubber tail out of her butt with her shins belted to her thighs.

I have always wanted to submit an entry to “The Understatement of the Decade” contest and now I have my chance.

All kidding aside –I may be looking at this with levity while I retell the story but at that particular moment I was scared silent and shocked that I found myself in this horrible position with absolutely no good explanation.

My mother began with a steady litany of cuss words - some of which I think Savannah and Lloyd may have even not heard before.

Then she moved on to yanking the cord they had tied around my neck as a makeshift leash to try to get me to my feet.

In her shock and rage it is very possible she thought I was unwilling to stand up and not that I couldn’t because of how I was bound.

“Fine, c’mon like that,” I had never seen my mother lose her cool like this. “I don’t give a shit!” It is very possible she never had. I was really worried, I wasn’t sure what she would do, but whatever it was – it was going to be bad.

She tore open the door to Aunt Crystal’s bedroom. Then she shushed her sister before Aunt Crystal could register a complaint about letting them sleep off what was apparently one heck of a hangover.

“What is the meaning of THIS?” my mother pointed at me. She was dragging me along behind her still crawling on my knees and taped gloves.

Aunt Crystal opened one eye and held herself up with one arm in bed. She seemed tired and unwilling to match my mother’s energy and emotional state. It was clear she was topless under the covers because one of her giant breasts popped out from under the sheets.

“Okay, I don’t know,” she considered me for a moment with a confused look on her face. I wouldn’t say it was deeply puzzled. It was more the look someone had when trying to recall what type of food was in a container they just found in the back of their refrigerator. “This is a new one on me,” she shrugged at my mom.

 Ted opened one eye to look over at me as well. “HELLO!” Ted said with a big smile once he noticed me on the carpet.

“Cool your jets, Ted,” Aunt Crystal cautioned him from joking around, “I think my older sister is a little worried about it.”

“A little worried?” my mom dropped my lead and approached my Aunt to get very close to her face with a touch of dramatic villain thrown in, “A little WORRIED?”

“Yes, okay. I guess a lot worried.” My Aunt seemed completely amused by the confrontation. “I don’t see the problem. Obviously they were just fucking around. Kids will be kids.”

Even I couldn’t believe Aunt Crystal really didn’t see the problem with what I was doing and I was the one doing it. I knew she was permissive and laid back, but I would have expected it to shock even her a little.

“I asked you this morning to put Ellen to work. I told you cleaning and scrubbing and you have her be a dog?” my mom demanded an explanation.

“Asked me to what?” Clearly Aunt Crystal wasn’t remembering that conversation. “I ain’t a morning person,” it was probably afternoon by now when she said that. “You may have asked me. I agreed to get up and discipline your daughter for you, did I?”

My mom’s façade of anger started to fade a little bit as she thought about that. “No, not technically like that” she conceded. “I left here this morning,” she said in anguish, “not thinking THIS would happen!!” my mom waved her arms around me to signify I was the ‘THIS’ she was talking about.

Aunt Crystal seemed to be pleasantly amused with this turn of events despite her obvious hangover. It was difficult for my Mom to get the appropriate rise of anger my mom expected out of her. Crystal sympathetically looked down at me on her carpet “Ellen honey, why are you a doggy?”

At that point, I could have told them that her daughter had made me play Doggy OR be a slave-maid for them. I could have explained they stuck this tail in my butt despite my protests. I could have explained how it was my understanding since my mom put Aunt Crystal in charge that Aunt Crystal put Savannah in charge.

I thought that may sound ridiculous. I didn’t want to rat on them and be a tattle-tail. The damage was already done to my reputation with my mother and I would always seem like a goody-two shoes outsider who pointed the finger at them if I did.

I took a deep breath to steel myself before pulling up my Snoopy Mask with my mitten hands. I almost fell over in the process because I still needed both hands for balance.

I am sure I had a blank stare on my face while I tried to think of a plausible half-truth that would not get anyone in trouble.

“Honey, why don’t you take that thing out of your ass before Ted here spills his milk all over the bed.” Aunt Crystal said patiently about the tail that was wiggling and bouncing each time I moved.

“Oh yes, thank you Ma’am!” I didn’t even think twice about saying Ma’am – it just slid out naturally after spending an afternoon getting popped on the butt for forgetting to say it. I was relieved that she was being patient and kind to me.

I had ALMOST forgot about what amounted to an anal raping in the form of a plastic tail that had been pushed into my asshole. I say “Almost” because maybe it was just that I was glad my mom had not mentioned it at all. It’s possible she was just too shocked to even admit what it was and where it was. No one had said a word about it until just now.

I leaned forward with my chin on the carpet and put my hands behind me to take it out.

The Crisco coated the entire length of the tail and with the wool mittens on my hands and the duct tape holding my fingers shut I couldn’t get a firm grasp around it.

 “Is it um, stuck up in there sweet cheeks?” my aunt asked spryly, once it was clear I was still struggling.

“No, no. it’s just slippery from the lube, Ma‘am.” I was shocked and horrified at the idea it might be stuck. I wanted it to just slide out and I couldn’t get a hold out of it. I tried knocking it out with my hand.

I made it release with a push from my sphincter and letting it drop to the floor. I could hear it hit the carpet with a thud. I also heard giggles from Lloyd and Conner, but my Mom I think was in so much shock she either ignored them or didn’t hear them behind her.

It was such a relief to finally have it out. There was a new sensation once it was gone –one that I would describe as mildly erotic. My ass had felt ‘full’ while it was in and now that it was out – it felt naked.

I kept my head straight. The part I most wondered, considering I had to go to the bathroom so badly, was if there was any of my doo on the tail. I know that is quite a visual but I assure you as you read this story – you’ll see that I had to be honest about every detail you read.

“Well, it was too tight to go in without at least spitting on it,” Savannah said apologetically. She was standing just behind my mom witnessing this spectacle and added, “It’s just some Crisco.”

All blood was draining from my face. I was completely and utterly humiliated. If this was one of my brother’s video games – I had just lost my last life – game over.

I was ready to be punished rather than explain myself. I said as much. I couldn’t believe I hadn’t fought harder when they pushed the tail in me and insisted we draw the line some place. I felt physical relief now that it was out and I am positive that showed on my face, which only made me seem more guilty. I could sense my nipples hardening as my body stretched forward and they scraped against the high brown shag carpet in Aunt Crystal’s bedroom.

Why had my body chosen to be so sensitive to outside stimulus? It was so embarrassing to be going through puberty and exposed this way.

“Now, now,” Aunt Crystal comforted me. I am positive she could see the stress and fear in my face. “No one is going to punish you if you tell the truth.” Crystal had an expression on her face I had seen her daughter use. It was one that dared you to challenge what she had just said.

My mom was not willing to dare letting her continue without interrupting. My mom did mutter “Oh yes, she WILL be punished,” but clearly she was not challenging her sister openly.

“Ellen. Why were you dressed as a dog?” my Aunt asked again sweetly. She was just trying to get to the bottom of things.

I didn’t know how to answer. “It was a game. You know like Cops or Robbers, or Cowboys and Indians?” I pouted while lifting myself back up on all fours. I was afraid that they would see how hard and puffy my nipples had become while I was on the ground, but they were going to see eventually. I knew as long as I remained leaned forward I was holding my ass cheeks apart further for anyone behind me to see.

“Oh yes, I know those games,” my aunt showed me some understanding “I even played them when I was a little girl”. She looked at my mom and raised her eyebrows as if to say ‘so did you’.

“Whose idea was it that you be a Doggy like this?” Aunt Crystal continued her questions.

This is where I knew I could either commit to the truth or be honest that they made me pick from three awful choices or I could tell a plausible lie. I would always be an outsider and never fit in if I made the first choice.

I looked at Savannah, Lloyd and Conner and gave them an apologetic look. Savannah glared at me a look that said she was already plotting three ways of vengeance. Lloyd continued to have a goofy, dumbfounded look on his face like he really had no idea what was going on. Conner looked as nervous as I did that he was going to get in trouble for his part in this.

“I am sorry I dragged my cousins and Conner into this Ma’am,” I cleared my throat.

“I just wanted to fit and shed my goody-two shoes image. It was actually my idea that we play Doggy. I knew I was supposed to clean all day in the nude but I decided this would be a better distraction from my chores. I obviously wasn’t thinking Ma’am and I’d like to go ahead and ask for the punishment I so richly deserve.”

My story was so convincing I almost believed myself. I just wanted this to be over and I was going to take all the blame. I knew I would be punished no matter what and there was no point in dragging them down with this sinking ship.

I was already in deep doo-doo with my mom, and there was no way around that. Saying it was their idea would only get them in as deep as me.

“Let me get this straight, my Daughter did not come in here this morning,” Aunt Crystal paraphrased my story adding “say that since your mom had put you under my supervision then could you be put under HER supervision while Ted and I slept off our cocktails?”

“Okay, yes Ma’am,” it seemed obvious to me she clearly knew what had happened and was toying with me.

“You’d make a terrible poker player, little girl.” Crystal fell back into bed. I wasn’t sure if she remembered or was just bluffing me into admitting it.

Crystal spoke while lying flat on her bed. She looked up in the brocade mirror above her. I thought it odd anyone needed a mirror above their bed but said nothing.

“Your daughter is a liar but obviously mine put her up to it,” Aunt Crystal delivered her judgment against me adding, “What do you want to do about it?”

“What did she lie about?” My mom’s anger was put on hold while she asked the question.

“Clearly, if Savannah thought she was the boss this morning then she would have been the one to come up with this game. She wouldn’t have let your daughter come up with it. Savannah and Lloyd were obviously messing with her this morning, but she lied to cover that up.” I’ll give Aunt Crystal some credit –she is very perceptive.

My mom was beside herself. “I don’t know what to do about this. I’ve never had a situation even close to this until,” Aunt Crystal cut her off mid-sentence.

“Until what?” Aunt Crystal asked. “Until you moved into the Buckman with your sister who is a bad mom with bad kids?” she asked derisively.

“I did not say that,” My mom backpedaled. She clearly didn’t want to start fighting with Aunt Crystal when she was focused on me. “If you are asking me what I want to do about it - Savannah isn’t mine, I can only decide for Ellen.”

“Okay, so let’s say I leave it up to you,” my Aunt gave an exasperated sigh yawning as she dismissively offered the decision to her daughter’s punishment to her sister.

Ted ripped a small fart in the bed. That caused a few giggles despite the seriousness of the situation and Crystal slapped him playfully. He waved his hand in front of his nose like clearing out the stink and said “Damn, you need a tic-tac, your breath is stank” – blaming his fart on Crystal’s breath. She ignored his joke and let him have his fun.

“Leave it up to me, what?” my mom wasn’t sure what was being asked. I thought she was leaving the decision of how to handle both of us up to my Mom. I was still reeling from how my ass felt unplugged. It was sore and raw, but there was a tremendous relief that the tail was out but now I wanted the belts off so I could stand.

“Ten to one odds,” Aunt Crystal sighed as if it should be obvious, “Savannah did exactly what Ellen said. She came in here and asked if she could be put in charge of her cousin while I was not paying attention. That is what I’d do if I was that age.”

My mom concentrated with her arms folded and glared at me. All eyes were on me, and I was still belted so that I couldn’t move. I could not return my mom’s disappointed gaze.

“The punishment for both of them is up to you. Do you want to spank Savannah’s heiney the way you did Ellen’s last night?” Crystal asked bluntly.

“I wish you would!” Savannah dared them both challenging their authority. She sounded like bullies who want a kid to throw the first punch in a fist fight. She wasn’t going to admit any wrongdoing and stood there defensively.

“Well about that,” my mom looked at her shoes, “actually, I feel like last night’s spanking was an overreaction that may have been done out of anger and stress.” She continued to clarify plainly, “No, I wouldn’t like to spank Savannah.”

“Okay, well the other option is that Savannah switch places and be the maid. She took advantage of her cousin. She can clean up for a day. I don’t give a shit. Would that make you happy?” my Aunt was growing increasingly impatient and wanted my mom to make any decision.

“No, that would not make me happy,” my mom did not want to be rushed to make a decision. She was still furious with me but now she was feeling defensive about the night before. “That would not address any of, of…this” indicating me with her hands without being able to find the words to even describe what I was doing.

“So, the two of them are maids for 24 hours. Would that teach them a lesson?” Aunt Crystal’s tone was that of someone who was bored and tired of discussing the matter. She was clearly trying to be helpful and find something to satisfy my mom. I think Aunt Crystal would have been satisfied if we all just went away and forgot this happened.

“Naked or fully clothed?” my mom asked as she considered that option.

“I don’t really care,” it was clear Aunt Crystal didn’t either. Adding, “It’s probably going to embarrass them more and make them jump a little faster and higher if they do it nekked, but I don’t really give a god damn.”

“Definitely naked!” Ted said without hiding the fact he was a total pervert.

“You can look, you little dirty bird,” Crystal hit him with a pillow playfully and said, “If you fuck me as hard as you did last night, it’s kind of worth seeing you get all riled up and teased.”

Ted’s throat emitted a heady “Rowwwwllll” noise in agreement. No one said anything after that for a moment. We all had just a little ‘too-much-information’ about Aunt Crystal’s sex-life.

Savannah confronted her mom, “You want me naked? That’s fine with me!” she wasn’t going to give my mom the satisfaction of making the decision or seeing that it bothered her. This was the dirty spoons in the cereal bowl again. She was going to just eat off the dirty spoon you gave her and let you know she didn’t care.

Without any hesitation she pulled off the t-shirt she had on all morning and threw it on the ground. It was clear to everyone she never had a stitch on underneath. She just stood there naked daring someone to say something to her with a scowl.

She was hairless from the neck down and her body was shapelier than my own. Her boobs were fuller and her butt was like two perfect honey-dew melons.

I felt like a chubby block with two fat little titties and no curves in comparison to my cousin. She was built for speed like a sports car and I was just a reliable 4-door family sedan.

“Savannah, I am not in the mood for one of your drama tantrums,” Aunt Crystal did not even raise out of bed to say it. She sounded like she had dealt with her daughter’s angry outburst many times in the past; and wasn’t going to rise to respond to it. “You will be the maid and you’ll wear whatever your Aunt wants you to wear. Do you hear?”

“Nope! I’ll pick up, I’ll clean up, I’ll even do what Uncle Ted wants,” she let the subtle hint that he may want her to do more than pick up and clean; “But I’ll do it butt naked if I want to in MY own home!”

The way she said ‘MY own home’ made me wonder if she was implying to my mom and I that this was not our home and she should be able to do what she wanted here. I might have been trying to read too much between the lines.

I wanted to stop her and ask why she felt the need to insist on it. She might be the type who is just so stubborn she cuts off her nose to spite her face.

I wondered if she may have been clever enough to try a reverse psychology with her mom. She might have been demanding what she didn’t want to do.

If that was the case it wasn’t going to work. Her mom was clearly a wiser and older version of her and wasn’t going to take the bait.

“Well Patricia, I’ll leave the choice up to you,” my Aunt said wiping her hands of making the decision. She was the only one in the room who wasn’t on some level staring at Savannah’s perfect body. “We’ll even help you find stuff to run the two of them ragged the rest of the day to this time tomorrow. All I ask, is they both have the exact same punishment. I don’t want to hear that she got this and all I got was that,” she mocked the sound of a teenager complaining.

 Keep in mind that at this point in the conversation no one was nice enough to unbuckle the belts on around my legs and I was not going to dare interrupt to ask.

“Oh, well, I didn’t actually think that,” my mom was tongue tied. She was uncomfortable dealing with Savannah while she was naked. Savannah’s body language was arms folded and boldly tapping her foot. Her head was slightly cocked and she looked like she was about to punch someone right in the face for looking at her the wrong way.

“No I don’t think you do actually think that,” Savannah sniffed in triumph, “I didn’t think so.” She bent over to put back on the shirt she flung off while scoffing. She took absolutely no care to bend at the knee or in what direction she was standing when she bent over.

“No, I think you should do it naked as the day is long. You are prideful and full of yourself and you need an ego adjustment,” my mom fired back; adding “I was just worried about what Conner and Lloyd are seeing right now.”

I think my mom took Savannah’s reverse psychology bait.

My brother and cousin looked at my mom curiously. They were clearly not traumatized by nudity – they were quite enjoying the show.

“Yeah, we’re real scared of titties,” Lloyd said to his sister as he play acted as if she was the boogie man.

Savannah was already putting on her t-shirt “Pshaw, too late. I ain’t doing any of it. I am not calling anybody Ma’am, I ain’t lifting a bucket or washing a fucking dish. You can’t tell me what the fuck to do.”

Savannah pulled her shirt back over her head about half way before her mom yelled “STOP!” She had finally lost her cool and began massaging her temples. “I am so not feeling this shit today, Savannah.”

“So don’t feel this,” Savannah tried to say before her mom shushed her the same way Savannah had shushed me.

“Ah-buh-buh-bup-buh!” Aunt Crystal held up a finger and demanded silence. “I am tired of the argument. Naked: Yes, No, Maybe, Who gives a god damn. These boys already know what kind of tuna-fish you got between those legs of yours,” I shuddered – mother and daughter both had a crass way of painting the most disgusting word pictures about the female anatomy.

Aunt Crystal pulled her sheet over herself to cover her own exposed nipple and looked directly at her daughter.

“Savannah you are my daughter and I’ve let you get away with everything. I let you do this and that and you think you are grown. My sister can’t seem to make up her mind,” Aunt Crystal shushed my mom who wanted to clarify that point and continued, “Well I have made up mine. You WILL do it butt ass naked no matter who comes in and out of this trailer. You will do exactly as you are told by whoever in this household. You will not complain; and if you hesitate or bitch, then you will get the business end of Tom’s paddle. Is that understood?”

I noticed when she referred to his paddle that it was resting on a shelf with some sad porcelain clown dolls, a bowling pin and a purple electric dildo. It looked like a wooden cutting board with a handle you might use to serve pizza with. Her mom called Savannah over to the bed with a finger. Savannah pouted and stubbornly refused. It took one move as if Crystal was going to get out of bed for Savannah to walk over to her mother. I recognized Savannah made sure to walk slowly as a small act of defiance and smirked that she was more like me than I thought.

I don’t know what the two of them whispered back and forth. Aunt Crystal whispered into her ear and Savannah bent over the bed and listened. She was clearly not worried about being naked because her entire ass was visible from under the t-shirt in that position and she made no move to cover herself.

Whatever Aunt Crystal told her daughter changed her mood entirely.  She had bent over a strong willed, brat but when she stood up, she wasn’t even smacking her gum any more. She took the shirt back off and started to fold it.

“Okay Ma’am,” Savannah said without shame to my mom “I am all yours. Where do you want me to start?” without so much as an ounce of hesitation.

“Actually, I just came back to change,” my mom was surprised and possibly a little intimidated that the girl had become so agreeable. “I have to go back to Town. I didn’t expect THIS.” Once again she waved her arms in my general vicinity.

My mom was clearly overwhelmed by the sudden weirdness of this entire discussion. I could feel her eyeballing me and making a mental note to ask why I was fully shaved today. I knew I would have that to look forward to as well as many, many conversations with her about my motivations.

I decided to write these journals and leave nothing out by intention or accident. I apologize at times that I don’t speak explicitly about body parts or some of the sexuality, but at the time they happened I didn’t say those words. I do now, now that I am no longer a little girl and I’ll TRY to write the rest of the story from that perspective. The words I chose to describe the female anatomy and my juices can seem immature, but they are authentic.

Fine, go do what you got to do,” my Aunt Crystal dismissed my mom. She pulled off her covers and stood up revealing a deeply tanned and athletic nude body. She had tits that looked like watermelons jutting out of her chest defying all sense of gravity or physics. She was as hairless as her daughter and you could have bounced a quarter on her ass. I wondered how a woman who spent most of her time watching TV on her couch could look so trim.

There was an audible gasp when she stood and a few giggles from the boys.

“Okay, you guys are standing here in a room with two naked teenage girls and the old lady in the room naked makes you giggle?”

She made no attempt to hide herself as she bent over and packed her cigarettes before lighting one. Then she walked into her closet and plucked a robe that didn’t cover that much anyway.

Everyone was still stunned as she got dressed. “What?” Aunt Crystal asked coyly. “Yes. I sleep naked. Who doesn’t? Patricia don‘t you have some place to be? We‘ll put the girls to work, I am up now. I am up.”

“Okay, just. I don’t know if Conner should…” my mom stammered.

“Conner should what? He’s already seen their clams and coffee grinders. What other shenanigans are you worried about?” Aunt Crystal smirked as she asked her question.

“Well, I don’t know. I mean it’s just so bizarre. I wasn’t prepared for yesterday, but seeing Ellen today like this -with the belts strapped on and the uh, tail. Maybe I should stay home.” my mom told herself.

“Maybe you should,” Aunt Crystal looked like she was about to get back in bed, “I don’t give a damn if you miss whatever you have to go do. I can go back to sleep.”

You could see like Mother like Daughter – the two shared the exact same swagger and devil-may-care/take no shit attitude about life.

“I do need to go to town,” my mom weighed her options and chose her next words carefully, “Can you just keep it from being naughty until I get home.”

“Okay, so it gets naughty when Patricia gets home!” Ted made a Va-va-voom sound, but he was clearly joking.

“I didn’t mean it like that, Ted,” Mom clarified. She was clearly uncomfortable even addressing the topic, “I just mean the nudity component of the punishment should be to humble them and take away their privacy and vanity. I do not want it to seem sexual in nature.” Mom shut her eyes as if she wanted to go back and edit that last sentence and make it sound different.

“Got it,” Aunt Crystal teased, “No sucking cock as part of this. Anything else?” Which caused Lloyd and Ted to laugh.

Ted shook his fist in mock disappointment.

“No, I know that it is not like that,” my mom was searching for the right words to express her concerns. “I mean just tonight when they sleep let them wear clothes. How is that?”

I wasn’t sure how that was going to help, but I wasn’t about to point out I had no clothes to speak of.

“Sure,” my Aunt agreed, without asking why either. “Actually, Savannah go ahead and take those belts off Ellen’s legs before she gets a blood clot or something. Let her go put on something of yours for today.”

Savannah started to take my belts off with a sneer that I was getting special treatment. She bent right over me, taking no special precautions to cover or bend at the knees and keep any modesty.

“You were naked all morning and Savannah has to catch up. You can be a maid, but

I don’t want your momma worrying about you getting sexualized.” Aunt Crystal emphasized the word sexualized.

My mom looked defensive and uneasy but thanked my Aunt for making that point. Mom just wasn’t comfortable with any talk of sexuality – even though this was clearly a very provocative situation.

I took a deep breath. It felt so good to be unbuckled and I wobbled back to a standing position. I had on the boy shorts with the hole in the back, but my tits were still completely visible.

I had a tough choice to make; but looking at Savannah give me the evil eye because I was about to get special treatment, I knew which one I WAS going to make.

“Actually Ma’am, if it’s all the same to you,” I said holding my hands to my sides. “I would prefer the same punishment as Savannah. It is only fair we both be treated the same. You said earlier you didn’t want any fighting over special privileges.”

My aunt nodded at me with a look that was sincere respect. I smiled for the first time since this conversation began.

“I actually got to wear this costume all day such as it was,” I stepped out of the boy shorts and stood there naked with my cousin.

Lloyd grabbed the shorts out of my hand. He put his finger through the hole in the back, “These shorts are great. You could poop right through the hole without taking them off!”

“Well, you go on and wear them then, honey,” Crystal patronized her son.

He tried to put them on over his pants. They were small on me and I am not nearly as big as Lloyd. When he discovered that didn’t work, he decided to put them over his head like a headband as a goof.

“Great this is fucking settled, Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Tits are going to do the chores today,” my Aunt asked my mom once if she was okay with this. I had to smirk wondering if I was Dee or Tits in that equation – probably Dee.

Crystal announced she was going to get some morning coffee, even though it was close to two in the afternoon. “When people tell me I’ll regret that in the morning,” she yawned and observed to no one in particular, “I just sleep until noon.”

“It’s Two PM!” one of the guys shouted back a smart-aleck remark.

“It is going to be half past your ass-crack,” Crystal’s threat sounded like a joke, “and don’t think I won’t make you fellows stand there with your balls hanging out if you cross me today.”

No one dared to answer back. She smiled as she sipped her first taste of coffee.

My Mom is a Libra like me - the horoscope sign that is a balancer. My brother and I have always received gifts of equal value and she has always tried to spend equal time with us.

Just like the bond between Savannah and her mom I knew my mom’s nature.

I imagined her having an internal conflict that this seemed like inappropriate punishment in the first place and there was probably a lot of good reasons not to do it. She was weighing that with the fact they had already agreed to it and to back down would make them seem indecisive.

She probably would have preferred I put some clothes on, but would like the idea my cousin and I would both be punished in equal measure.

There was never any talk of punishing Lloyd or Conner for their part in this. It was almost as if they assumed Savannah was the ring leader and I was the accomplice and the boy’s had been just along for the ride.

I wondered if my mom hadn’t even considered what a meanie-butt the boys had been to me today.

My mom looked at Lloyd and Conner right when that thought had crossed my mind and folded her arms.

“What is it Patricia?” Aunt Crystal prompted her sister to explain what was still bothering her. I couldn’t tell if my Aunt was being condescending about how my mom tended to dwell on small details or she genuinely cared what still bothered my mom at this point – I doubt my mom could tell which it was either.

“I hate to be a stickler,” I don’t think my mom really did hate to be one, since she was so often. I could see she was looking at Lloyd’s track pants and saw a fairly hard boner jutting out. I could also see my brother was sporting one in his shorts. She sighed and just said, “If it gets weird or uncomfortable just use your best judgment. I don’t really feel comfortable with this.”

My mom looked over Savannah’s young pin-up perfect body and looked away.

“I am not going to tell your father, but let’s discuss it when I get back,” she spoke to me without looking at me. I knew that was all she felt I deserved at that moment and she couldn’t stand to look at me naked as well.

“Look, I don’t want to be the permissive, drinking, weird parent here,” Crystal told my mom, “I will give you one more chance, if you say they get dressed, then we forget all about it and they do.”

My mom thought about it for a minute and I looked at Savannah. Savannah surprisingly gave me a wink and a look that told me it was going to be alright and this would all blow over.

“What good would it do for them to put the clothes back on now? It would just show that we can’t make up our minds. Let’s stick with the punishment and see how it works.” My mom had made up her mind and she wasn’t going to back down now.

I think I am a lot like my mom in some ways I never even realized.

“I hate to ask this Crystal,” my mom had another request. “I‘ve nothing nice to wear to town besides the clothes on my back. May I put on something of yours?”

My aunt told her to pick anything out she wanted and my mom began searching the closet for something that wasn’t gaudy or trashy. It would take a lot of sliding hangers and searching.

My Aunt told us to walk with her into the kitchen while my mom prepared herself.

“Unless you boy’s want to see the final woman of the house change?” she joked as we left the room. I pictured my mom’s frown with turned up corners on the ends when she heard it.

As I was leaving my Aunt’s room she cleared her throat to get my attention.

“Take that with you,” she pointed to the tail that had been in my ass minutes ago. I quietly bent at the knees and picked up the little anal plug that had been buried in my butt. I scanned it when no one was looking and I was pleasantly surprised it had none of my ‘chocolate pudding’ on it anywhere.

Aunt Crystal didn’t waste any time putting us to work washing dishes and getting lunch prepared while she made herself some fresh coffee and had a cigarette. I discretely put the butt plug tail I was holding some place I could quietly wash it later and dispose of it.

Once I held it in my hand – I couldn’t believe it had fit into my butt! I was mortified at the thought that everyone else knew that it had as well!

In a few minutes my mom emerged wearing what I would consider “A hooker’s best Sunday outfit”. It was so out of place that the outfit seemed to say, “I don’t know what professional looks like and I’ve tried my best to fake it.”

It was a tight skirt with a blouse that had a plunging neckline and 4 inch heels. It looked so wrong on my mom, on so very many levels.

I mentioned before that my mom has often been compared to the actress who plays the Mom on “The Middle” and “Everyone loves Raymond” – Patricia Heaton. She has her plain Jane straight-laced “Mom” haircut, and simple make-up, that makes her look like the stereotypical Cub Scout Den Mother or soccer mom. The fact that she was dressed like a hooker only made her look completely out of place.

She obviously had an important interview and dressing like this was not going to help her odds.

“Wow,” Ted admired my mom’s outfit and the way she had to walk in the heels, “Looks like you dipped your peanut in my chocolate.”

The heels and skirt were almost forcing her to walk in a more pronounced sashay.

My Mom was visibly uncomfortable with his flirting but flashed a wintry smile.

My mom gave one last look over the kitchen and saw Savannah and I were working unsupervised like two teenage girls doing chores – except we were naked while we did.

My mom seemed satisfied that it wasn’t too disgusting or sexual and started to walk out the door. Someone from town was waiting to take her back to my father and she had already made him wait longer than she thought she should.

“Hey, at least we don’t have to worry about hair falling into anything they washed,” Ted’s joke was making reference to the fact we were hairless from the neck down.

I am sure that didn’t set my mom’s mind at ease at all, but she just gave him the same wintry smile she had earlier.

Lloyd and Conner were already outside throwing the football in the yard back and forth. They weren’t staring or gawking while we cleaned – which surprised me.

I would come to find out much later that they were plotting and talking about ways this new turn of events was to their advantage. At the time they seemed just like two boys having some fun while we cleaned up.

I was pleased to know that Ares and Zeus finally did get fed. Lloyd had only one chore around the house – to feed the dogs. I was told he often forgot until later in the day and the dogs were used to that.

I still hadn’t had a chance to go to the bathroom but I wasn’t about to ask for a bathroom break this early into the work. I was just trying not to think about it.

Crystal sipped her coffee with Ted on the sofa. The two of them started catching up on their mid-afternoon Jerry Springer and Maury Povich episodes.

“Okay, you seem to have it in hand,” my mother said to Ted and Crystal. There was obvious doubt in her face that they did but she put on a brave face.

She turned to me before leaving as an afterthought and put her finger in my face. “Ellen,” she said “I am SOO disappointed in you. You listen to your Aunt and do whatever they tell you. If I get home, and they let me know you were good then I will be more inclined not to punish you myself. If however, I hear you gave them a hard time,” she paused while she tried to think of an appropriate consequence.

Ted finished the thought her “She won’t sit down for a week!” As laid back as Ted could be, there was an obvious desire for authority and order in his personality. I think he liked to be the one in charge and when he wasn’t it just made him uncomfortable.

“Yes,” my mom reluctantly agreed with Tom. I imagined she was searching for anything else that sounded good but just couldn’t. “You will get a spanking so hard that you won’t sit down for a week.”

My mom was satisfied that the threat would most likely not have to be carried out. She anti-climatically wiggled out of the house in her sister’s tight and short skirt while wobbling in her heels. I heard her wave goodbye to Conner and Lloyd as she got into her ride.

Ted hadn’t actually been talking to my Mom. I didn’t know that at the time, but as we overheard the television it was Maury Povich‘s show. Maury Povich really only does three kind of shows:

1. People with irrational fears, like tin foil or chickens. He finds crazy people willing to subject themselves to humiliations for the entertainment of others, while they are laughed at for things that normal people would never do. I am guessing most of his guests come from places like Fuckman Acres.

2. “Who the daddy is?” He brings on sluts from places like the Fuckman to see if they are pregnant with their boyfriends baby. People always seemed shocked about the results. I can’t understand that, if you are dating a woman so slutty you have to bring her on national TV just to find out if she was faithful, you probably should have left her long before it got that far. She is trash.

3. “Tough Love”. They bring out some teenage girl who is like “I don’t care, I do what I want!” who is so willful and out of control, they make Savannah seem very tame and placid. Then Maury brings out a drill sergeant type black guy to get in their face, ships them off to some camp that puts them through all sorts of exercises, humiliations, and drills and when they return at the end of the episode (having been gone for several months), the girl always tearfully thanks her mom for the help.

Today they were watching the Tough Love episode and Ted was actually responding rather joyfully to how much anal sex one of the slutty teenagers had in exchange for money, weed and on one occasion a “Double cheeseburger”.

At the time when he said “She won’t sit down for a week,” he was talking about that girl and not me. I did not know that then, but I would learn this much later.

“You idiot!” Savannah whispered through gritted teeth, as she moved a pot on the stove, clearing off something that was sitting on one of the burners.

I was confused, I asked her why she said that. “You could have worn anything today - why didn’t you?” her voice a whispered rage at my wasted opportunity.

“Well, you demanded to do this naked so I thought I would be chicken if I didn’t ask for the same thing as you?” I whispered back.

“Quiet, or I’ll shove a,” Crystal said without taking her eyes off the TV, “gag in those mouths.” She was resting her feet on the coffee table, still taking it easy from her hangover.

Savannah didn’t listen to her mom. She whispered, “It was bluffing, you idjit! I didn’t actually expect them to make me do this. I figured it would make them so uncomfortable there was no way she’d dare. My mom hasn’t punished me since I was little. It’s too much hassle and I make it hell for her. Then you go and say ‘Oh please mommy, can I be nakey too’ ”. She added the last part in her little girl voice to mock me.

“I did not,” I whispered. “You seemed to be looking at me with scorn, and contempt so I just assumed you’d be mad if I got special treatment!”

“Scorn and contempt?” she seemed more perturbed. “Why do you use fifty cent words like that when nickel words will do?” she was asking me rhetorically because she didn’t give me a chance to respond. I would have told her that I was in phase four honors in Freshman English at Cherry Lawn High.

She probably wouldn’t have cared. She explained, “I ALWAYS look at people with scorn and contempt. If you go doing everything because of that look on my face then you’ll have a hard life.”

For the first time, not even since that time we kissed on a dare, did I get a good look into Savannah’s eyes. They were ice blue and they reminded me of a tiger or a panther. There was strength in her eyes but there could also be gentleness.

I don’t think I dared look her right in the eyes until just then. Something about us being on equal footing made me more comfortable to do it.

“God, what are you? Lezzing out for me now?” she said with disgust, noticing how I was looking at her.

“No, no. I was just thinking,” I whispered back.

“Well less thinking, little miss can’t be wrong, and a lot more scrubbing!”

Savannah called everyone to lunch once she finished putting together something quickly. She may have had to say ‘Yes Ma’am’, but no one told her she had to be polite any other way. “Y’all come and get this fucking food before I feed it to the god-damned dogs that won’t stop barking!”

The boy’s came running inside and obliviously tracked fresh dirt on the kitchen tile I had just mopped. It seemed like an impossible task to get everything cleaned up.

There were not enough chairs to sit in that didn’t already have a bunch of old bills, vitamin water bottles and miscellaneous junk in them for all six of us. We stood without being told to eat our lunch. I was positive if we had tried to take an open seat we would have been booted out by someone else and it wasn’t worth even trying.

We were having microwaved fish sticks. The box had read “Mr. Gordon Fish flavored sticks.” I wasn’t even sure if there was real fish in the breaded nuggets that we had microwaved for about sixty seconds. I didn’t care because I was so hungry.

They were mushy where they should be crispy. They were dry where they should be moist and moist where they should be dry. No one else besides Conner and I seemed concerned by the quality of the food and dug right in.

We ate while the boys gawked at us - mostly at Savannah. They had seen me naked for about a day, so I guess I was suddenly pizza, next to Savannah’s sizzling steak.

“Mom, I can boss them around too?” Lloyd asked innocently right in front of us both.

“Not to suck your dick!” Aunt Crystal answered bluntly while chomping on a frozen fish stick.

Lloyd thinking can be an adorable sight. His face reminds me of James Franco. He squints his eyes when he needs to concentrate just like him.

He neither admitted nor denied he was going to order that. “Do sit ups, push-ups, jumping jacks. Stuff like that.”

My aunt looked over at Ted who was trying to hide his delight at the idea. “Jumping jacks, huh?” she smirked. She knew that was just an excuse to make us jump and bounce.

“If you take it to your room you can have fifteen minutes; but I need them back here,” she grinned. “I am sure you have a sudden interest in fitness now too, don’t you Ted?”

He bit into a fish stick and blew her a kiss, “You know I only have eyes for you, my darling.”

She knew he was joking and he looked at other women but it seemed to be a joke between the two. I don’t think my Mom would be nearly that understanding, but then my father wouldn’t have the poor sense to talk like Ted.

“You have plenty of time for y’all to play little games later,” Crystal mentioned the word games like she knew full well about the kind of games the kids played.

Lloyd wasn’t disappointed his mother had just told him no. He stuck two fish sticks in saying, “But we're never gonna survive unless we get a little crazy,” then asked Conner what he was.

“I don’t know?” Conner asked with a straight face.

“I am Seal, you dumb-bunny!” Lloyd said with the fish sticks in his mouth making his indignation look cute. “Do they teach you nothing in the fancy schools you go to?”

“Actually ladies, I was thinking,” Crystal ignored her son’s antics and looked at us intently.

Savannah sighed as if she wanted to say “Here we go again.”

“No,” Crystal tried to allay her daughter’s concerns “I think you’ll like this idea. I was thinking it looks pretty clean in here already.”

I looked around the room and we had only started to make a dent in all the clutter and garbage.

“Well,” Crystal admitted with a sense of humor, “sure, it could still use some work around here. This shit has been building up for years and it will be here when you get back. I have a special project for you,” she got up from the table and smiled.

Savannah cast a look at me that told me she did not like where this is going.

I wanted to ask her what her mom had whispered in her ear that made her become so willing to behave. I knew now was not the time and it was probably something she didn’t want the rest of the family to know – including me.

Savannah’s mom walked out of her bedroom wearing a skimpy one piece swimsuit that barely covered her tits and tapered around the waist to accentuate her hips.

“Fuck,” Savannah sounded disappointed and asked, “Sunbathing?”

“Try to do it every day to keep this killer tan,” Crystal pointed to herself to indicate her deep bronze tan.

“Yeah and every old pervert and little kid in the Fuckman knows you do it every afternoon and gawks,” Savannah chided her mother.

“So what if they look?” Crystal clearly didn’t care if they did and sounded like she liked it. “You forget to call me Ma’am one more time and I’ll let your brother make you exercise for an hour,” she said with only a trace of humor.

“Fine,” Savannah’s voice showed no concern for what she was about to do, “I’ll go out and sunbathe with you, Ma’am”. She made sure to drag out the word Ma’am for her mom’s benefit. “I’ll go put on my swimsuit and we’ll see who the boy’s gawk at then.”

I did not like the idea of wearing a swimsuit like the one her mother had on in public any more than I did remaining naked in here.

“Oh gosh no,” her mom chuckled as if her daughter’s suggestion was absurd. “You two are going to get some sun but you aren’t going to just lie back on your fat asses.” She grinned. “Ellen Honey,” she said apologetically to me, “I know you grew up with delicate sensibilities but that is how we talk around here. I see how you make a face every time anyone says you have a fat ass.”

When she said it like that it sounded like people say that about me all the time. I was pretty sure she was goofing on me but she went on to explain that is how they showed love here to each other. They care enough to be real and to accept jokes like that.

“We are a PG-13 household around here Ellen,” she laughed.

“Right now I think we are veering into rated R territory,” Ted stuck a fork into one of the last remaining fish sticks.

My Aunt shushed him and told me to lighten up and have a little fun. “I haven’t heard you cuss. Let me hear you say I have a fat ass,” she told me. I guess she just wanted to see if I was capable of letting her have it and cuss.

I was hesitant but she insisted. I said meekly, “You have a fat ass, Ma’am.” I was unsure if I should use Ma’am or not, so I decided to err on the side of caution – but it came out sounding so strange.

She immediately threw something at me and I ducked. I rose back up and looked at her curiously.

“I am not mad at you, honey butt,” she smiled apologetically. “That is what you are going to wear. Put it on.”

The swimsuits she gave us were home-made two piece bathing suits that used to belong to Savannah.

“I fucking haven’t worn these since I was twelve!” she shouted while she tried to wriggle into hers. Her mom hit her on the fleshy part of her butt with the curtain rod and Savannah corrected, repeating, “Since I was fucking twelve, Ma’am!”

Savannah’s bathing suit was a white-cotton pair of panties with the image of the raccoon from Pocahontas on the front. The top was little more than an elastic waist band that she instructed her brother to tie in the back.

I had been given two pair of lacey panties. Savannah explained, because I looked surprised, that she put one over the other so that they were not as see-thru.

“You wore thongs when you were twelve?” I asked. I didn’t feel I had to call Savannah Ma’am as part of the rules and no one said I did when I didn’t.

“No silly,” Savannah laughed as if that would be absurd, “That is a T-bar.” She went on to explain that a thong went straight up the crack, whereas a T-bar had about three inches of material at the top.

Savannah had a wave of nostalgia wash over her as she admired the bathing suits she had made as a little girl. She considered this ‘arts and crafts’ at the Buckman. I asked sheepishly if there was a top to these.

“Mom, I mean Ma’am,” Savannah shouted her inquiry, “where are those fucking band-aids?”

“Oh honey, those would have dried up and been gone a long time ago,” Crystal answered in a very practical manner. She recalled the story of how Savannah became inspired to make my swimsuit. “Your Uncle Willy,” which was code for one of Crystal’s boyfriends at the time, “said you had mosquito bites and you should cover them with Band-Aids. Snot-nose little Savannah came running out in this outfit from the bathroom and asking uncle Willy if the Band-Aids would make them heal quicker.” Crystal laughed at how cute her daughter’s question had been.

“Well, my boobs fucking done growed in now,” Savannah just shook her head angrily, as her mom told the story. “I didn’t need plastic surgery on these.” She pointed to the perky boobs that were popping out from under the elastic band. It barely contained the nipples or offer any support.

Crystal’s expression read “Touché” and she let the matter drop.

There is a universal law of motherhood that makes them want you to remain perpetually eight to eleven years old. They love the opportunity to tell and re-tell a story about how you did something embarrassing and naïve to all your friends when you were that age.

I shuddered as I wondered if my mom would be telling this story about me ten years from now to my future husband or friends. “You’ll never guess when Ellen was a sophomore in high school, she spent the day naked with her cousin washing dishes as punishment because of...,” and on and on the story would go while I sat there red-faced at dinner.

I tried to pull on the pair of lacey panties but they were just too tight. “You have to suck in and push and pull,” Crystal showed me how to use my diaphragm muscles and shoe-horn myself into them.

They felt skin tight and I thought I needed a third pair. They may have covered everything important on Savannah when she was little but they had been stretched so much now that the holes expanded.

I did not have a chance to ask about that because I was still topless and Crystal put her finger to her lips as she thought out loud. “I don’t have any band-aids,” Crystal said. I thought she was implying I would have to go outside topless.

“Can I be out in the yard topless?” I asked. The context of my question was if it was legal or even remotely acceptable to do this because I assume she means that is what I am going to do.

“I like how you think,” Crystal hit me on the bottom with the shower rod as if slapping me on the back. “You should have been born a Danville instead of a Tinkle!”

My Mom’s maiden name is Danville.

I was going to explain that I did not want to go outside topless but my Aunt stopped me.

“I can’t let you go out there topless though,” she said as if that were a real let down for me. “You can accidentally lose your top or forget to tie it in the back, but they can get real stinky about letting your jugs get some sun if you know what I mean.”

I did not.

She sized up the size of my nipples and shook her head, “Band-aids probably wouldn’t cover those fat pepperonis of yours anyway.”

She acted like a woman who was talking in a dressing room full of only other women and not in front of her man, son and nephew. She considered some saran wrap she had laying around; and thought about using a shoe-string from Lloyd’s tennis shoe; before deciding “Get the duct tape!”

Savannah got the duct tape she had used for her “art project” – my tail. They had me hold up my arms and wrapped the roll around me, covering just 4 inches of the front of my tits. The under part was completely exposed. She taped it off in the back.

The only consolation I had was that Savannah’s elastic waist band was even flimsier and thinner than my duct tape.

Crystal could see the worried look on my face. She reached out and pinched my cheek “Lighten up, Sugar tits. You need to put on a happy face. You aren’t going to have to dig ditches or anything.” Then assuming I would be happier without it on at all, “You can slide out of it on accident when you are out there if you want.”

Savannah took the lead off my dog collar, but told me that the collar itself looked ‘cute’.

Ted quipped, “It breaks up the monotony between her fat tits and her fat head.”

Crystal slapped her boyfriend and told me not to pay attention to him. “He is just a big old meanie butt,” she tugged my collar playfully, “That does look cute the way you are wearing it.”

She had Savannah fetch her Hawaiian Tropic SPF and her shades and told us to follow her. She shouted, “Who wants to run sunblock on sweet Crystal?” to no one in particular.

It gave me the impression she felt she was being watched as soon as she went outside of her trailer, but no one was around.

It was bright and hot outside. The two dogs were in a tiny pen in the very back of the trailer. They barked and she shouted, “Shut the fuck up!” before pointing at Uncle Ted’s truck and handing us sponges and a bucket.

“Oh fuck no, not washing cars,” Savannah reluctantly called her mother Ma’am at the end of that sentence and rolled her eyes.

“Just your Uncle’s truck!” she assured her daughter. “Then if someone comes by and sees you girls doing a real good job, well then you know the prices,” Crystal quipped.

Savannah was insistent she was not going to wash cars. At the same time she was already getting the garden hose and pulling it over to her step-dad’s broke down truck.

“How are we splitting the car wash money?” Savannah demanded adding the word Ma’am as an afterthought.

“We aren’t. You are my little do-girls and this money is needed to put room and dinner on the table.” Crystal said indignantly. Crystal lay face down on an old rusted lawn chair that I had failed to notice before. It looked like she wore no bathing suit at all when she laid on her stomach, because it was flesh colored and there was nothing but a simple thong in the back.

Savannah kinked the garden hose to build up water pressure and sprayed her mother on the back with ice-cold water.

“AY-yi-yi, you little bitch,” she grinned and threw a bottle of suntan lotion at her daughter playfully. “You get thirty percent; but if it gets slow and nobody who isn’t creepy wants to rub lotion on my back, then you’ll do that as well.”

“Errybody who wants to rub lotion on your nasty crypt-keeper, leathery back is creepy,” Savannah teased her mother and fired a shot of water on her own back and then fired another shot of water at her mother. “Thirty percent for me and thirty percent for my cousin you dragged out here and it is a deal.”

I was standing in the yard with my arms at my side wondering what was going on. I probably looked like a complete idiot out there in what amounted to a pair of panties and some duct tape around my chest. I did smile when Savannah bargained to get me some money – even though I didn’t know how we were being paid yet.

“You little stinkers better do a real good job then,” Crystal wiped off the water from her back with a towel and adjusted her swimsuit. “This suit wasn’t made to get wet,” she insisted.

I was naïve, but I had some idea why she had bought a swimsuit that wasn’t intended to be used for swimming. I would like to think I am a smart girl, but I still had no clue what they were actually talking about though.

“You are going to help with premium packages?” Savannah said as she handed me a bucket of soapy water she had mixed up while the two haggled.

“I’d love to, but you know Ted,” Crystal reached behind her back and pulled the string from her thong out of her crack and let it drop. She turned her head to look in her own trailer window. You could see right in and see that Ted was watching us. She waved at him and smiled. She spoke in a softer tone without moving her lips so he could not hear “If you don’t think you are ready to handle premium packages, I could probably do them; but I keep 100% of those.”

“The fuck if you will,” Savannah ignored her mother and walked me over to where Ted’s truck was.

It was a white beat-up old ford with so many dents and scratches that it hardly seemed possible to even wash it.

“I know,” Savannah said as she took a dirty wet rag and began to wash the truck with it. “It’s like polishing a turd, but we won’t have to do it for long.”

I picked up a rag and began washing the truck with her. I was confused and just trying to follow along. I subconsciously found myself on the side of the truck facing the trailer. The entire truck had to be washed and I might as well face away from the street – that is how I looked at it.

Savannah took me by the arm and let me around to the side facing the street, “We need to focus on washing this side.”

I was still wondering why she would intentionally humiliate herself this way by exposing her body to everyone at street level. Savannah had already proven she was not so much an extrovert as she was someone who simply wasn’t shy about her body.

This seemed more like something an attention-seeking extrovert might do.

Yet her mom – who was something of an extrovert, just laid peacefully on her lawn chair a few yards back into the tiny yard.

I felt all eyes in the Buckman on my body. I couldn’t see them but I started to imagine them pulling back curtains and peeking at me from their trailer windows with furtive glances and shocked expressions.

Savannah was about to explain to me why we’re doing this when a sporty looking car roared down the street.

She waved, “Hey Todd,” as if she knew him from his car. He drove like he was going to ram right into us, but Savannah held my arm so I couldn’t run out of the way. Todd stopped his car just inches away from our feet.

Todd slid through the window of his car without opening the door. I wondered how that might seem more convenient, but maybe he thought it made him seem cool. He had dirty blonde hair and a matching thin mustache. He wore aviator glasses and a blue denim shirt that had the sleeves cut-off. Todd looked much older, but when he finally spoke his voice made him sound like he was about Conner’s age.

“Hey there girls, you like the ride?” he put his hands on the back of his jean pockets and snickered like he was very cool. In truth, nothing about this guy seemed cool to me at all.

Savannah swooned. She acted disinterested, “I am just cleaning up my Uncle Ted’s truck so he can take us out tonight to the Outback Steakhouse,” she lied.

“Take you out back and fuck you in the steak house more like it,” Todd’s joke didn’t even make sense.

Crystal croaked from where she was on her lawn chair, “Hi Todd! Your car is looking good.”

“Thank you Mrs. Danville,” Todd lifted himself on his tiptoes to leer over at my Aunt.

“You are fifteen now,” she cooed back to him, “you can call me Crystal.”

Savannah interrupted her mother’s flirting to ask him what kind of car he had.

He said it was a ’66 Gran Sport Skylark with the original 400 ci V8 engine in it.

Savannah put her finger in her mouth playfully and drug her bare toe across the sand in the front of her yard as if she were being coy. “You know I don’t know nothing about cars Todd,” with pie-eyes and feminine wiles in her voice said. “But I have been told from somebody that the 400 ci V8 was originally in the 67 model. The 66 would have come standard with the 401 ci.”

“You know I may have meant the 401,” Todd corrected and looked at his shoes.

“I didn’t mean to make you feel bad Todd,” she reached out and touched his chin and made him look up into her blue eyes. He was like a white mouse that was hypnotized gazing into the snake that was about to devour him; if the snake could put on the fakest angel-baby face in the world.

“My cousin and I were just out here washing Uncle Ted’s truck,” Savannah told him sweetly.

“Oh, your Cousin?” This was the first time Todd noticed me. I shook his hand awkwardly and he looked back at Savannah.

“We could probably go ahead and wash this sweet, sweet machine,” she walked past the hood wiggling her butt and running her fingers delicately along the racing stripes and up the shaft of the radio antenna.

He let out a long sigh as he watched her touch it and then tease it like it was more than an antenna.

“It would be a pleasure to wash a real man’s car instead of this piece of junk,” she spit on the tire of the truck we were just trying to wash. I started to get the idea where this was going.

“Soap cost money,” Crystal said without looking up from the lawn chair. “You can’t do it for free Savannah.”

“Damn it Mom,” Savannah stomped the ground in mock anger. “Stop listening in on my private conversations!” Then she asked, “Fine, how much should we charge to wash this fucking sexy beast of a car?”

Savannah was a really good actress; but I had to wonder how anyone who knew her for any length of time could think that she behaved like a boy-crazed, auto-obsessed, nymphette. The boy didn’t seem to question her behavior at all.

“It depends on what he wants. Ask him does he want a wash and wax or premium service?” Crystal said pretending to be reading a book. I say pretending because I could see the book she had open on the lawn and she was on the title page.

“I guess I’d like to hear both prices, Crystal.” Todd had been full of himself when he pulled up – a lady killer in his own mind. He was now putty in these girl’s hands and his voice was subdued and grateful.

“Since I used to party with his Dad, I guess I would say thirty bucks for wash and wax or sixty for premium service.”

Todd whistled at the sound of how steep those prices were.

“I can’t do anything about the premium package, but I can do the wash and wax for twenty; just for you,” Savannah whispered conspiratorially, as if she were giving him some deal.

“I don’t know, “He said “I just washed it this morning. I don’t think it needs a wash.”

Savannah touched his arm, looked down at the ground and then flicked her eyes back up at him, “I think you will like how we wash and wax.” She bit her lip and glanced away like a teen girl who just gave away too much of what was in her heart.

I was impressed. If I did not know Savannah, I would think she was really into him.

“I really want to wash this sweet ride,” she cooed. She bent over the hood and displayed herself without any shame as she wet the hood with her sponge and then laid down on the wet spot.

When she stood up and turned the elastic band around her chest had flipped and he could see one of her pink perfect nipples. She looked down and giggled a dainty ‘tee-hee’ before flipping it back to cover it. “I hate when that happens,” though she clearly didn’t.

“H-h-how long would it take?” he stuttered as he stared at her.

Savannah walked towards him like she wanted him. She reached down between his crotch and asked “How long would it take to do what?” while maintaining eye contact.

“I mean h-h-how long would you need to wash it? You can take all day. If you want,” he stepped backwards slightly as if intimidated.

“If it was premium package service it could take a whole hour, so you could go inside and sit with my mom for a little while; and it’d be finished when you are done,” she smiled and winked at him.

He was clearly completely out of his league with Savannah.

If she had grown up in my suburb she might have been captain of the cheerleaders and prom queen. She would have dated football stars and the most popular kids in school, not clowns like this greasy, pipsqueak.

“If you want the wash and wax, well you can stay right here and watch. Me and my cousin,” she reached up and tweaked my nipple through my duct tape, “like to play when we work; but we’ll get ya shiny and polished in twenty minutes, baby.” Savannah blew a kiss towards him and asked, “Can you wait that long?”

He already had his wallet out and held out a ten and a five.

“Oh baby,” she said sweetly. I wondered what sort of self-control it took for her not to present her naturally angry demeanor. “You know I would do it for free, just to play with your car, but if I come back with less than twenty then my Mom won’t let me talk to you ever again.” She moved close to him and whispered something in his ear.

He produced another five dollars and Savannah pushed the money into her panties. “Silly me,” she pretended to sound as dumb as Lloyd as she observed, “No pockets!”

Then she motioned to me to start washing his car on the side of the road in front of our trailer. I awkwardly did as I was told, while Savannah preened and posed; but did little to wash his car. She oohed and ahhed over the interior; and while I did my best washing it, she practically seduced him.

“You know I didn’t know I’d have any money when I put this old bikini on,” she lied. “If I got any more money they’d probably fall down.”

“Then you would pull them back up though, right?” Todd answered; completely missing that Savannah was suggesting he stick a little more in her bikini bottoms to see if he could weight them down.

“Is Savannah annoying you sweety?” Crystal said. She was laying on her stomach, but she rolled over to reveal her amazing tits. She adjusted her suit after offering a slight nipple flash and said, “You can come over here and apply a little suntan oil on me before I burn.”

“We are almost finished, Mother.” Savannahs voice was terse as she hinted to her mother not to call him over.

“Nonsense,” Crystal waved him over “You two can keep washing and maybe Todd will send over some of his friends later if you do him right. I just need a little oil right here in a spot I can’t reach. You don’t mind do you Todd?”

“Uh, where do you want it?” Todd approached my Aunt like he was walking to his own execution.

“I need it all over here,” Crystal moved her hands in front of her chest and down her legs like she was helpless to reach them herself. “I would do it myself but I just got my nails done.” She held up her nails for him to see, but he was looking straight at her chest.

Crystal looked right at Savannah and winked. “You like them?” she asked Todd, adding “They are a lovely blue aren’t they? The same color as your Buick.”

“Oh yes, blue is a nice color,” he was rubbing lotion in his hands.

I could see the nails were bright pink from across the yard. Crystal smiled as if she just won a bet.

RUFF! RUFF ARRFF!! ARFFFFF!!!!! Ares and Zeus began barking when Todd tried to bend over her and apply the lotion to her body.

“God-damit you fucking dogs!” Crystal yelled at the dogs as if talking to them in full sentences would make them listen to reason. “I am trying to get some god-damned piece and fucking quiet!!” and despite her rage the dogs barked more.

The boy backed off from my Aunt when she started screaming and the dogs were riled up.

Lloyd swung the trailer door open when he heard the dogs. “Oh hey Todd, what’s up?”

he said casually, ignoring the fact the boy was about to slather his mother with greasy coconut butter. Lloyd easily calmed the dogs with a whisper and they became docile and sweet – rolling over for Lloyd to pet them.

“Not much,” Todd was nervous and looked over his should at us. Savannah quickly dumped some of the soapy water on me splashing my hair and all down my back. She playfully cooed, “Girl, you splashed me first.”

I was completely taken unaware by her attack. I knew she was play acting for his benefit – I am not THAT dumb. I just couldn’t conceive of why she was and what I was supposed to be doing. I felt ridiculous outside in this skimpy home-made bikini and now I was shivering from soap-water.

If Todd even noticed that our splash fight seemed staged, because I just stood there like a wet fish, he didn’t let on. Crystal coaxed him back over and he began to massage the oil into her shoulders and arms.

“So, you going out for any sports this year?” Lloyd casually asked Todd while he rubbed lotion on his mother.

“I don’t know,” Todd didn’t seem very athletic and his body language registered his discomfort with Lloyd’s presence.

Lloyd isn’t the smartest when it comes to books but he isn’t completely oblivious. He grinned at Savannah as if he were having fun while Todd was focused on his mother. She returned his smile with an evil glance that suggested he get out of here.

“You know why my sister and cousin wear those itty bitty tops don’t you?” Lloyd asked Todd jokingly.

“I think so,” Todd seemed like he wanted to focus on giving my Aunt a sensual massage, but he was afraid of what Lloyd would say.

“As long as you are looking up here,” Lloyd reached down and put his finger right at his mother’s nipple through her bathing suit, “then you don’t notice the fat bellies down here.” He let his finger drop to her stomach and patted his mother’s stomach.

My Aunt had a flat-washboard stomach, but like many women thought she didn’t.

“Lloyd get your ass back in the house,” Crystal was amused at his insult of her weight and tossed her book at him playfully. He dodged it and walked back into the trailer satisfied that he had his fun.

“You girls done with Todd’s wax and wash?” Crystal called out and Savannah said she was.

“Did he give you the forty dollars for it?” Crystal asked skeptically. She was clearly lying – she had said thirty and Savannah had dropped the price to twenty.

“You said only charge him twenty because he is sexy, Momma.” Savannah stuck her finger in her mouth like a dumb-bunny who didn’t know any better.

“I did?” Crystal acted like she couldn’t remember what she had said earlier. “That’s my mistake then. I don’t believe we can be doing neighborly car washes anymore because that wax is so expensive.”

Todd was still staring at my Aunt’s chest. She adjusted her bathing suit bottoms and made it look like she did not notice her clit was visible before fixing it again.

“But Momma, I love being out here on a nice sunny day like this and washing cars,” Savannah squealed like it was her favorite thing in the world.

Crystal whispered to Todd to bend over and she asked him for more money to cover our costs. I am speculating because he held his hands up and shook his head no, that he didn’t have any more money.

“Well, you get you a real job honey, and come see us when you want full service – if we can afford to keep doing these,” Crystal smiled sweetly and waved him goodbye.

Todd got in his car and drove off. I don’t think he had a muffler because his car sounded more like what I think a Tank would sound like as he roared off down the street.

Savannah waved at him sweetly and watched him drive away as if he were the man of her dreams.

“You like that guy?” I asked her skeptically.

“No, he is a shitty tipper,” she said while still smiling and waving him down the street. “He is a dirty little piss-ant who wants everything for free.” Savannah returned to her surly self once he was no longer able to see us in his rear view mirror.

She pulled the money out of her pants “What is thirty percent of Twenty Bucks?” and she stuck it in a coffee can near her mother.

“Six dollars?” my answer sounded like a question.

“No! It is jack shit,” she insisted. “Which is what you did! You made me do all that work and you didn’t help at all!”

“Do all the work?” I stood up for myself. “We didn’t even wash his car everywhere. I don’t even know what wax was? That was a pretty crummy job we did.”

The girls laughed at me.

Then they laughed a little more.

“Girl, you are a hot mess!” Savannah patted my butt playfully. A car was driving down the narrow street between trailers and she grabbed her rag and began to wash Ted’s truck while wiggling her butt for the on-lookers in the car.

They honked their horn but kept going while razzing her and yelling ‘woo-hoo’.

Once they drove past Savannah flipped them the bird and stopped dancing immediately.

“We need some music out here is what we need,” Savannah told her mom.

“What about the Ma’am?” Crystal joked. Savannah did not correct herself.

“I can go in and get the radio, Ma’am?” I knew there was a radio in the kitchen because we had just moved seven pounds of dried dog food in a ripped open bag and it was under that.

“You got something right here,” Savannah laughed and touched my nose. Then she pretended to fail flicking it away nodding her head “Yep, that brown nose is on there to stay.”

“Well, I really have to go to the bathroom too,” I held my stomach. I had been waiting all morning and I felt I was going to explode if I didn’t go. “May I go to the bathroom, Ma’am?” I asked my aunt politely.

“Fine, but you have five minutes!” she demanded and hurried me up the stairs. I did not even question this given how we were being punished.

“Bring the damned radio when you come back and I’ll tell you how we wash cars at the Buckman!” she called after me.

I was already hurrying through the door and to get to the bathroom; because I would need more than five minutes and I could not waste a second!