Chapter Four
No good deed goes unpunished

I lay face down on my mattress for a good 15 minutes without looking up. I didn’t want to hear their jokes – I pretended I was in a ‘happy place’ – far from this sweaty, stinky, trailer!

I didn’t like what I was doing but I didn’t feel I had many choices. I wasn’t brave enough to do anything other than sniffle into my dirty mattress on the floor and take what was coming to me.

The laughter had long since stopped from the boys and Savannah. They knew I was naked, and I knew they knew I was naked, and now it was just awkward.

I could hear my stomach growling. I had missed breakfast and missed lunch. I knew I didn't want to go back out in the kitchen area naked after the spectacle that had just happened.

"Well someone say something!" Savannah was the first one to break the awkward silence brought on by one person in the room being naked, and the rest being fully clothed.

Lloyd answered her, "I was sitting here, watching how every time Ellen moves, it causes her butt to jiggle and you can see her entire asshole then," he said unapologetically, like a kid making an observation in science class about each time a butterfly flaps its wings. It clearly never occurred to him to keep this disgusting observation to himself.

I sighed and remained lying flat. I took my hands and used both hands to cover my cheeks without looking up at him to register my disgust.

"Ok. You gonna’ do that all day?" Savannah asked me. She folded her arms and looked impatient.

"No, it's just, don't try to look up my butt!" I pouted and added, "We're family!"

"Just cousins," Savannah said laughing. I wasn't sure how that changed things in this scenario any.

"Well, I'd just ask you to not try to look up there, please?" as demurely and politely as I could say it.

"It's not like I am trying to see what you had for lunch - you ain’t eat nothing," Lloyd laughed.

"Yah, rub it in," I had hunger pains. I did not want to think about his allusion to being able to see the food inside my tummy by looking up my asshole.

"So go get something to eat," Lloyd said and added "Duh!" since he thought that should be obvious.

"I don't exactly want to walk into the kitchen just like I am at the moment," I explained.

"What are you worried about, Ted? He is harmless, he'll look, but he won't touch." Then thinking for a second, appended his prediction with, "Probably."

"No, it's actually not Ted. It's my Mom,” I had not really wanted to think about Ted being as big a pervert as they said he was. “If mom sees that I am walking around in the kitchen after she told me to stay this way then she'll hit the roof."

"How can you get in trouble, for doing what she told you to?" Savannah asked with a confused expression.

I was about to explain that my mom would see it as me rubbing this in her face and that I was trying to show it didn’t bother me to be punished. Conner got up and walked out of the room without saying a word. I bit my lip wondering if I had made him nervous being naked.

Lloyd nodded in a comforting way, "Don't let every little thing get you down. Just go ask your mom if you can get dressed. I am sure she’ll let you wear clothes. That is pretty crazy, even for us." I wasn’t sure what he meant by ‘even for them’, but after this afternoon’s cowboy and Indian game I did not want to know what he meant.

"And put on what? She threw my bra and panties out the door to your dogs," I had already thought about all the advice Lloyd was giving me and reached these conclusions. I was being patient with him because he was trying to be helpful.

"Oh shit, those are gone then!” he laughed right in my face. “Or if they aren't, then you probably don't want to wear them!" he laughed and made a face like a dog taking a big slobbery bite out of an imaginary pair of panties. I said he was TRYING to be helpful, even if he wasn’t succeeding.

Savannah winked at me and sighed, "Damn, I guess it is up to me to be the nice one and give you some clothes to wear?" she said, seeming disgusted with herself for being nice. "Fine, you are bumming me out. I don't want your Mom bitching at me though. Go blow smoke up her ass and make nice and make sure she'll let you wear something."

I wasn't able to make my mind up. On one hand I could stay back here and hide, but be naked – that seemed safer. I didn't know how long it would be before my Dad was home though. On the other hand, facing my Mom and apologizing intimidated me. I'd already been yelled at and had my mouth washed out with soap. I wondered if I gave her more time to calm down before apologizing if it might seem like I was ignoring her and didn’t care what she thought and made her stew more about it.

I should admit openly right now, in case you haven’t noticed, that I probably over-analyze everything.

Impatience and boredom had set in. Lloyd starting shooting tiny rubber bands at my butt. "Pew-pew," he made a laser sound with his mouth and fired by using two-fingers almost like a sling shot. He was naturally aiming for the center of my crack, which I was still blocking with my hands.

"Lloyd! Quit it!!" I demanded. I was annoyed he thought he could get away with doing that to me; as much as I was with how whiny my voice sounded when I said it.

"For your own good just get out there and talk to her," Lloyd smiled and launched another rubber band prodding me to go deal with my problems.

"Fine!" I answered and stood up.

"Girl, you gotta shave that snatch," Savannah said disgusted. “It was fine for squaw time, but that beaver is going to build a fucking dam if you don’t do something about it.”

I looked down at the wispy brown hairs that were growing wild in front of my pussy. I couldn't even think of a response. This was the first time in my life that anyone had dared even say a word about my pubic hair.

I had shaved below my knee with razors, but hadn't thought about that sort of grooming in my entire life either. I just shook my head at her in disbelief that she would bring that up right now and walked out into the kitchen area.

There was no point in tip-toeing around. They knew what I was wearing and I just walked out. There was a brief moment when they saw me that I saw a little surprise on Ted’s face, but neither of them said a word about it.

I didn't want any drama so I left them to their TV show. I started to walk slowly across the living room. My Mom was in her Aunt’s bedroom getting some much needed “alone time”.

"It's my money, and I want it now!!" The TV commercial announced and a chorus of "RJ Wentworth! 876-NOW!!" sounding like a chorus of angels. I guess commercials didn't hold Crystal and Ted's attention because they both noticed me.

"I wouldn't go in there right now, sweet cheeks," Crystal said without a trace of malice or judgment in her eyes. She seemed to take the whole being naked thing in complete stride, as if this sort of thing happened every day. "Your mom needs time to cool down. When we were little girls she would throw tantrums like this. I think it is a Greek thing," she laughed. I’ve heard that expression many times in my family on my mom’s side. ‘This is a Greek thing.’ as if that explains or excuses whatever emotional reaction they have.

 I don’t think that what my mother said was a ‘Greek thing’ or a tantrum at all. It was my Mom laying down the law on me and biting my head off in the process. I didn't try to defend my mom or make that case – it probably wouldn’t have done any good. Instead I just said "Thank you, but I can't stay like this," indicating my body with my hands.

"Suit yourself then, but don't come crying back to me if she bends you over her knee and spanks you. I tried to warn you!" Crystal chuckled at her own words. She seemed much more sober than she had been earlier.

As I mentioned earlier, my mom had never spanked me or Conner that I can remember. Today is a day of many firsts and as unlikely as an over the knee spanking sounded - it suddenly sounded like a real possibility.

"Can I get something to eat?" I asked changing the subject and giving myself a little time to think about talking to my mom. I had nothing to hide from them, now that they had seen everything I had; and other than Ted’s odd staring, I wasn’t going to lose anything but time and these stomach growls if I got a bite to eat.

"You could, but I am not fixing anything. There is some Wendy's chili in the fridge, or a hot dog."

I thanked her and went to the kitchen. The living room and kitchen are one big room, separated by a small little divider that comes about waist high with clutter, old baby chairs, bric-a-brac, knick-knacks, old magazines, and stacks of junk on either side.

I opened the fridge and looked at the Chili from Wendy's. I couldn't tell by looking at it how long it had been in there, so I put it back. I found a small stack of Oscar Meyer hot dogs and took one out.

“Oh please take a little longer checking out what is in our fridge, will ya?” Ted embarrassed me by admitting openly he watched me bend over at the fridge. I shuddered at the thought and made a mental note to be more aware of myself when I bend over.

Crystal slapped him on the knee and warned me, “You might want to bend at the knee next time,” with a slightly bemused smile despite her annoyance with Ted. I nodded in agreement with her as I stepped around the mess in the kitchen to find some dishes.

I regretted bending at the waist in the fridge, but decided not to let their kidding bother me. It had been an innocent mistake on my part; even if Ted turned it into something creepy when he implied I did it intentionally to amuse him. I was hungry and focused on eating. They perpetually had many pans and pots out that were in a ‘semi-clean’ state, but none put away in the cupboards.

"Oh you won't find all that honey,” Crystal said noticing my search out of the corner of her eye, “just eat it raw."

I scrunched my nose and started to protest, but they were fully cooked and I was hungry, so I was going to make do. “I just usually boil them first, Aunt Crystal,” I realized she didn’t like being called Aunt and then added, "Sorry for being so persnickety. I am not used to any of this." I took a bite of the hot dog and chewed – savoring each bite.

Ted finally looked up at me, and added, "From the way you eat that hot dog tip first I would say you are used to this."

What did that even mean? I realized he meant how I was eating the hot dog end-first. I sighed – was everything sexual innuendo with this family? Was I going to have to start eating the hot dog in the middle and going out of my way to be as un-sexy as possible?

"Gross!" my response to his observation only caused him to snort his laughter. My aunt slapped his leg again to warn him to calm down, but she smiled as well.

The screen door sprung open and startled me. I instantly became worried that it was my Dad already home and I would have to answer for everything. Butterflies all at once went a flutter in my stomach, even though I knew it was inevitable - I did not feel ready.

A thin black man walked in and regarded me naked with a look of mild surprise, "Well, you guys got a new white girl, it seems?"

"Ellen, this is Tyrell, he is one of our neighbors," Aunt Crystal said as if it were perfectly normal for him to walk in without knocking.

I was holding a hot dog and standing in the kitchen naked. I am sure my eyes were as wide as saucers; and all he could do was stand there smiling as if this was entirely to be expected?

"You aren't very shy are you?" he offered his hand to shake mine. I awkwardly shifted the hot dog into my other hand and I returned his shake timidly.

"Uh actually, I am very shy, do you mind if I go back in my room?" I asked without waiting for an answer. I just booked it down to the hall! I felt like I may throw up and I jerked open the bathroom door.

I was glad I could stop myself from vomiting once I caught my breath because someone was in the bathroom. My brother Conner was sitting on the toilet holding his cock and ‘jerking’ it.

"CONNER!!" I shouted out of shock and disgust.

"ELLEN!" he shouted back but he didn't stop pulling himself up and down. He had his pants down around his ankles and didn’t seem apologetic about it at all. “CLOSE THE DOOR!”

I slammed the door shut "Conner, stop...please!"

He stopped but he seemed very frustrated. "Look, don't say anything to anyone else, PLEASE?" he pleaded while looking up at me. I tried not to look at his hand on his penis but I couldn’t help it.

"Uh no, trust me. I won't," I was in no position to judge him or reveal any secrets given; I was completely naked around the entire family. I wanted to leave the room but he kept talking.

"It's just with the game and seeing you and Savannah today - well I needed a little relief," he indicated his penis and I raised my eyebrows to warn him that I really didn’t need to know any more.

"It's just so gross, Conner,” I was told once by a boy who had a crush on me that with my braces when I scrunch my nose and pout with a lemony-sour expression on my face it was ‘cute’. I was hoping Conner didn’t see it that way because that is the face I made.

“I really don't want to hear any more of it. Can you um, finish or whatever? I'll leave," I wanted to be anywhere else but in the bathroom talking to him about why he was masturbating and I turned the handle to walk out the door.

My mom was passing by about that moment. "Crystal said you wanted to talk to me?" she asked calmly. It was a split second before she noticed that Conner was in the bathroom I was leaving. She blocked my closing of the door with her hand and investigated.

I think she was initially curious why we would be in the bathroom together. Once she saw that he was masturbating she got the wrong impression that I was encouraging or helping him in some way.

I really could not tell you what my mom said or how long it lasted. The experience reminded me of an out of body experience where you suddenly feel yourself floating above your body as you drift away from the car wreck looking down. The kind of dream-like existence where you distinctly remember bits and fragments of it, but you cannot recall the entire outline of events.

I tried to explain that I had walked in on accident. That was a point I tried to make several times. My mom would ask why I did not knock and I would say that I thought I was going to throw up. She asked if I threw up and I said I did not and that seemed implausible. How did I get a handle on my nausea so quickly she asked?

I tried to explain that when I saw him sitting on the toilet I was able to swallow but she didn’t buy it.

She said she did not believe me, but she also did not say what she believed. It was obvious she was implying I was in the bathroom either encouraging or watching him pull his pud in front of me.

Conner was quiet and while his erection quickly faded he made no attempt to remove his hand from himself or pull his pants up. No one told him he couldn’t, but he stayed just as he was when he was caught ‘red-handed’.

My mom was completely out of her element with this problem. She had lost her job, her home, her car and had to move in with her sister– that was bad enough. That is a problem that people face and work their way out of. She thought I had dope and that is another of those textbook teenager problems that people deal with.

However, throwing my panties and bra out in the yard because I walked out in the living room naked? Then catching me in the bathroom with my brother while he masturbated? These two problems seemed well over the threshold that my mother was prepared to handle right now.

She said the words, “Now not just one, but both of my children are sexual deviants,” at some point. I remember hearing that clearly and being offended and hurt, but being unable to defend my actions. She did not like the fact that everyone else – even the neighbors could probably hear her consternation and anger, but she was at her limit and could not keep her voice down or get calm for a full twenty minutes of yelling.

This became a vicious cycle. Because the more she realized people could hear her, the more she became embarrassed; and the more she became embarrassed, the more she became enraged and the more she blathered and yelled, causing people to hear her.

When she finally stopped ranting she said, "Conner, do I have to have you be completely naked like your sister!?" she had yelled so much that now she was whispering. It wasn’t the kind of polite whisper a librarian would use, but more the kind when a psycho calls someone in a movie to let them know he is already in their house.

"No, Mom. I am so sorry!" he apologized genuinely and pulled his pants up.

"You know they had a guest! Why did you stand in the kitchen and eat a hot dog naked in front of him?" my mom whispered to me in that same rough and angry tone.

"I didn't Mom,” I saw the look of disbelief on her eyes but explained honestly, “He came in while I was eating." She was suggesting I had tried to be provocative around a stranger and it just wasn’t true.

"Why didn't you just take the food in your room, in the first place?" my mom whispered in her evenly-measured but angry tone.

"I don't know Mom!" It was up until this moment I was doing pretty good. She didn’t believe most of what I said and I was still naked, while she yelled at me in a bathroom in front of my brother who was holding his penis but I would say it was relatively ‘good’ compared to what happened next.

I probably could have remained contrite and apologetic and she may have had her doubts, but would have eventually let me put on a towel and forgiven me. She didn’t like the idea of me flashing my ass around the trailer, so this was as much a punishment for her as it was for me.

Had I kept my mouth shut, or remained polite, I think things would have gone a whole lot differently.

I might have been still hungry. I might have been under stress from what had happened all day and losing everything I had ever known. It really does not matter why I said what I did.

I immediately regretted saying it. It was one of those moments in your life you think back on and wish you could just reel back in the words, but you kept putting your foot in your mouth and doubling down on a stupid thing to say.

I said the thing Savannah had told me back at the rock quarry, but I said it with the bratty, stressed out tone that comes natural to teenage girls my age and that was a dangerous combination. I think in any other tone it might have sounded like a reasonable question.

I can remember exactly what I said "It's not like you can ground me. There are no malls, no TV, you've taken everything from ME, even my clothes. The worst you could do is spank me!"

You cannot refute my logic. Everything I said was absolutely true, but one thing you can’t do with parents who just caught you standing naked in the bathroom with your brother while he masturbates is really talk about ‘logic’.

You need to take a very different approach – which is a lesson I was about to learn.

Instead of my mom responding, “Oh you are right Ellen Tinkle. You know I had not thought about it that way. Thank you so much for pointing out the limited options I have for disciplining you. You have pointed out all the legitimate options one would naturally use such as grounding and losing privileges won’t work and that only leaves one extreme and brutal method that I will naturally not use. Your logic has won the day. I shall forgive you and return to normal now.”

Which is pretty much the only positive way a parent could have responded to my assertion – she said what any parent would probably say and took it as a challenge to her authority.

I admit now that my tone of voice was completely wrong for my intentions. I even knew that while I said it, but I just kept talking and wondered why I did not stop mid-sentence.

I would not have even thought about spanking, except my Aunt Crystal had joked about it a few minutes earlier and it was still in my mind. The thought of being spanked was so surreal that it seemed like the most hyperbolic response to my behavior I could bring up.

Looking back at the situation I could have made my point by saying "Hung from the gallows" or "Send me to Prison" and made it just as well.

My Mom got an entirely different meaning out of what I said. "You don't think I can spank you? You don't think I won't Ellen Tinkle?"

When my mom uses my last first and last name, that is when I know I am in pretty deep doo-doo. I think the last time she said it like that, I was seven years old and had left my bike at the park and forgotten to bring it home.

I’ve always thought of my parents as ‘liberal’ or ‘forward thinking parents’. I did not think it would ever occur to them to spank either of us – not that we are unruly or particular bad kids anyway.

It sounded absolutely absurd that my mother would spank me, but realizing my situation I said, "Oh no, I know you would. You would!!" I held out my hands in front of me like I was shielding myself.

My mom grabbed a hand towel rod that was leaning against the bathroom sink. One of Ted's many 'projects' he would never get around to was re-mounting that rod. She swung it making a "Whirrrr" sound and hit my hands.

"Ouch!! Fuck!" Now why was my response fuck? Why wouldn't I have said "Darn" or just say nothing at all? I was shocked and stressed; but I had to, on some level, accept that I just was not thinking and instead I was reacting.

I think my mom regretted hitting me with the towel rod, but when I said ‘fuck’ she felt vindicated.

She grabbed the soap bar from earlier. It could see my teeth marks from earlier that day when she shoved it in my mouth.

"Mom, do you want me to get out of here?" Conner had pulled up his shorts and asked the question looking at my Mom as if she were a rattlesnake about to bite him.

"Why shouldn't you see this? You two were playing in the bathroom. Everyone can hear me anyway. I don't see a problem with administering; let me think...20 good spanks in the living room. Come with me."

I did not have a choice. She jerked me by the ear and I flailed along behind her with the soap in my mouth to the living room. Tyrell the neighbor, Ted and Crystal were in the living room watching TV and talking over some wine.

"Dear Sister, do you mind if I punish my slutty daughter here in the living room? I know you have a guest," my Mother's voice was strained and her neck muscles were throbbing. There was a courtesy to her voice, but there was no way anyone could have mistook what she said for an actual request. She was already resigned to give the punishment.

Mom looked for a place to sit down while she held me by the ear; but there wasn't enough open space.

I kept the soap clamped between my teeth. I was instantly aware of how I looked when I saw my freckled face and braces biting into a white bar of soap in a mirror in the living room. It was one of those ‘carnival mirrors’ that were in our living room that had a drawing of a wolf and the word ‘Miller High Life’ under it.

I tried not to cry as I kept my knees closed tight together and stood there to receive my punishment.

“Fine, put your hands behind your head and squat at the knee,” my mom said and sat down on the couch as the others made room for her without reservation.

I did as I was told and she hit me across the backside twenty times with the towel rod. I did not know whether to count or to say anything. I just scrunched my nose and tightened my eyes while I prayed it to be over. I stopped counting in my head about eight or nine and just rode the wave of pain that followed.

When I finally opened my eyes, she had stopped. Even Savannah and Lloyd had watched the spectacle from the kitchen. They were not laughing at me at least. I had taken my hands down from behind my head and was rubbing what was probably a set of very red and rosy butt cheeks. I had bitten deeply into the soap with each swat of the rod and the juice from my spit and the soap was burning my throat.

My mom didn't seem satisfied. She had completed the twenty strokes and nothing had changed. No bell had rung, no green light had popped over my head. She told me the twenty had gone too fast. She took the soap out of my mouth and had me hold it.

"Do I have to make you leave your bedroom door open to keep you from being naughty?" she asked.

"No, Mom," I pouted.

"Why were you watching your brother masturbate?" she said, and the others in the room snickered. I was so nervous that it was a blur but I suspected that Conner was the only one not snickering at my expense.

"I wasn't. It was an accident!" I said defiantly. I was so embarrassed already that it may have been easier to just take the rap for it. I was already fully humiliated and when she said I had done it – that made me a family joke right then anyway. On principle, I wasn't going to admit to something I didn't do.

"So help me understand Ellen Tinkle,” my mom said my full name.

I am used to people thinking my name is funny, but Tyrell openly guffawed and added ‘Oh Lawd!’ – he was thoroughly amused and probably very thankful he paid a visit to his neighbor’s house to witness this spectacle and total breakdown of a white girl.

“You accidentally walked into the bathroom when the door was closed without knocking. Let’s say I accept that as a reasonable thing that normal people do when in someone else’s house and there is only one bathroom.” It was clear my mom didn’t accept it, but she continued with the line of reasoning to leave no shadow of a doubt I was guilty of something.

I nodded with a hint of tear in my eyes while holding the soap.

“Then once your brother saw you ACCIDENTALLY walk in, he ACCIDENTALLY pulled his pants down and began to play with himself in front of you. Then you accidentally stayed there and talked to him until I came walking past? Is that the story you want to keep or would you like to change it?"

"When you say it like that,” I pouted, “it sounds bad, but it's not like that!"

My mom wasn't backing down and I hadn't learned when it may be in my best interest to admit defeat and cut my losses. That is a lesson that will take many more years for me to finally learn I think. "Do you want 20 more across the backside?" she threatened

"If you give me 20 more it won't change my story." I was sticking to my guns stubbornly. I most certainly did not want even ten more swats. I knew that if I changed my story to match hers it would only be more reason to spank me though.

"Crystal, I don't know what to do here," my mom admitted to her sister while holding the towel rod like a queen holds her scepter.

My legs were shaking. I was still standing kind of in the same position I had received the spankings. I had my backside turned to my mother and my knees bent. I had brought my arms down, but I was holding the soap gingerly in my right hand and had my other hand just awkwardly hanging out in front of me.

I was also starting to become aware that the pressure from the spanking had made me wet and my nipples hard. I wished outside stimulus wasn’t so easy to read on my body. I am pale and I wondered how many other people could see my veins pumping blood rapidly, as my heart beat to keep up with my fear and adrenalin from this situation.

This was the most embarrassed and scared I'd been ever in my life and that includes the time at the ‘Cowboy fort’ which was, until that moment, the most scared and embarrassed I had ever been in my life.

Ted said, "Well, judging by Ellen’s half-dollar sized nipples, I'd say you've only managed to turn her on!" he let that twisted idea sit in everyone's head. I was far from turned on and liking the situation I was in. I wasn’t the only one to notice that my nipples had hardened and were jutting out.

No one else wanted to comment on his dirty jokes and observations. There was an awkward, quiet pause before Ted felt compelled to add, "If you want something harder to use, there is a wooden cutting board I used for pizzas in the kitchen. I think you are going to break that dowel rod in your hand."

My mom just glared at me and then looked at her sister.

Crystal seemed completely unaffected by the intensity of what had just happened. I was still rubbing my sore butt with my hands.

She said, “Actually, thank you for this. It has been kind of amusing around here – I would say better than watching Springer!" I think she meant that as a compliment, but I could not see how being the subject of his show would be.

Aunt Crystal had a deep bronzed tan and dark hair with flecks of red in it. She reminded me of the actress who plays Peg Bundy, except she had enormous breasts that jutted straight out on her chest and often wore very tight low-cut shirts to make sure everyone noticed.

She put her wine tumbler to her lips and took a sip before continuing, "I don't have a problem with you disciplining your daughter how you want to. If you want my opinion, let her put back on what she was wearing and take a time out. You are going to have a brain explosion or something you are so worked up, Sis."

I breathed a sigh of relief because what she had said was very reasonable. I had such a miserable day and everyone, from strange boys to my cousin to my mom, had just been unpleasant or downright mean to me. I was shocked that she was actually the one who had been the voice of reason.

I had expected her to say something like, “But on the other hand. If you really want to teach her a lesson, put her to work cleaning up this mess around here.” And make me feel like a waif in a Charles Dickens novel.

That is why it hit me like a bag of bricks, when she actually did suggest that; once I got my hopes up that I saw a light at the end of the tunnel.

I spent the next four hours of the evening cleaning up a mess that had taken them years to create. The Charles Dickens character analogy wasn’t too far from the truth, because while I bent and scraped they laughed like the wealthy aristocrats who think nothing of the suffering of the lower class in those stories.

It was an impossible task, made more difficult with empty spray bottles of bleach or cleaning products that had no label, so I couldn’t be sure if they went on the floor or on the dishes.

There was literally no place to put away the mess, which could explain why things had simply been left out. They had an old crusty dish inside of a record player on the counter. The record player had been broken and it was obvious there were no records; and if there were, they probably no longer listened to whatever ancient music still came on records.

I kept asking where something should go, and my Mom or Aunt would tell me to "figure something out" and ignore me. They saw my constant questions as stalling and attempts at getting sympathy so they would let me out of my chores. I was being dutiful and considerate, but they did not see it that way.

A friend of Tyrell’s came over after a few hours. A heavy set Spanish guy who regarded me like I was half hired help and half stripper, who was here for him to watch jiggle while I scrubbed. I tried smiling at him sheepishly, but he blew me a kiss and called me ‘Mamacita’, so I quickly pretended I didn’t see him.

I think he had been one of the men who called to me earlier in the day when I was in my bra and panties.

He wore a long football or basketball jersey - I don’t know much about sports. He was heavyset though and looked about as much like an athlete as Conner might have. His outfit was designed more to make him look like a ‘gangster’ or a ‘baller’.

I think I was surprised that, just like Tyrell, he wasn’t really all that shocked by the idea that a naked girl was cleaning up. He didn’t even ask why I was doing it. He just said something about “Cool,” and how it was good they were finally cleaning up this ‘dump’.

Tyrell and him eventually left without even saying goodbye to me. I don’t blame them though, I hadn’t been in any position to politely hold much of a conversation. I remained focused on getting the cleaning done. It felt overwhelming, like something that could never be completed and it probably was – without use of a bulldozer, flame-thrower and a few gallons of bleach.

My cousins and brother left the trailer around 4pm. They went out some place and obviously enjoyed themselves. They came back a few hours later and I was still cleaning the kitchen area. They ignored my punishment and didn’t say a word to me as they went back into our bedroom. I understood, because I think they might have been afraid if they showed any sympathy or support for me – they might have to join me. It still didn’t make it any easier watching them laughing and joking around.

A very obvious shark-like smile spread across Savannah’s face when she saw me; but in all honesty, I think that is just how she naturally smiles.

This entire thing felt unfair. My mom had not punished Conner for masturbating at all. If he had been caught without me in the bathroom, she would have been aghast and punished him; but my presence had completely taken any focus away from him. I watched him walk back into our room and wondered if he realized how lucky he was that he hadn’t been punished.

I recalled Ted’s disgusting comments about me bending over at the waist to check the fridge and was careful to bend at the knee. After a few hours of sweaty, disgusting work my modesty started to fade and I began to just bend over or squat to pick up things because I started to become used to it. I noticed Ted leering when I reached up high for things or had to struggle with something.

I was never a Barbie doll, teen-cheerleader, prom queen type. I’ve often been compared to the actress Ellen Paige, and think I am not too bad on the eyes. I know tall, thin, blonde girls like Savannah have to learn to get used to guys checking her out everywhere and just blow it off as one of the few downsides to being pretty, but it was still creepy to me.

It was just a half past 7’Oclock when I heard a knock at the door. This startled my Aunt, because most people she knew just opened the door and walked on in. It meant there was most likely a stranger at the door. “Patricia!!” my aunt called into my parent’s bedroom, “Throw your daughter a towel? Someone is at the door!” she asked on my behalf.

I couldn’t believe it had to even be discussed if I could get dressed for a stranger knocking at the door. It seemed barbarically cruel I was expected to parade around as I was while everyone else got to lounge around and have fun.

"Why? Every one of your neighbors has seen her little booty by now!" my mom yelled back from inside her room in anger.

I let my mouth hang open in dismay but what I could I do?

“Sorry hon,” my Aunt gave me an apologetic look as she looked through the curtains at the door, “Let’s see who it is.” My Aunt laughed and didn’t tell me who it was, “Don’t get all hot and bothered girl it’s nobody.” She laughed. My Aunt has a way of talking that is sometimes at a much higher volume than everyone else. I assume she must have worked in bars for a long time and got used to speaking over people to be heard.

The door opened and standing there was a tall boy with acne and a wisp of a blonde mustache. It may be unfair to men with a mustache to call what he had a mustache – it may have been fairer to say it was a ‘fuzzy caterpillar on his lip’.

He wore the ball cap and shirt of a Domino’s Pizza delivery driver. He had a bored, expressionless look on his face until he noticed me and smiled softly. I got the impression that as a pizza driver this might not have been the first person he saw at the door naked.

I still backed away into the kitchen out of his eyeshot when I realized that if I could see him – he could see me.

“You know, I am already thirty years old,” my Aunt lied about her age and teased the young man. “I've thought about it many times, but I have never had an occasion to meet the pizza guy in the nude,” she smiled suggestively to let him know she was thinking about it right then.

Ted said nothing and continued watching television, but I saw him grimace when he heard Aunt Crystal flirt with the driver. It obviously did not shock him.

“My older sister’s kid wanted to get a thrill by shocking you at the door, but I guess she got shy,” Aunt Crystal said of me. I stood with my back to the refrigerator out of view of the door.

“Yes, well in this neighborhood I would say it probably happens about once a week. The pizza has been paid for,” he paused and there was an awkward point where he mustered the courage to add, “Besides the tip of course.”

“Oh, wasn’t the tip seeing my niece greet you at the door?” My Aunt’s tone could have been fishing for compliments for me or sarcastic – or both.

“Oh, um she is very nice, but I only saw her for a minute and I think I’d rather just have cash if you don’t mind,” he was very polite and I could tell he didn’t want to sound greedy.

“Pshaw, you aren’t any fun,” she considered him for a moment while standing in her nightgown and ordered, “Ted, do you have two dollars for the BOY at the door?”

He handed her two bucks and said, “So who ordered us a pizza? I bet it was Weird Larry. It was probably Weird Larry!” I did not know who Weird Larry was but apparently he was a not-so-secret admirer of my Aunt.

“Mike Tinkle ordered it. He said to let you know he wouldn’t be home any time soon and that the Pizza is a surprise to the family. He thinks he’ll have a job lined up and that he um, hopes you like Pepperoni.” The teenager read a note on the order.

“Well isn’t your man just special,” Aunt Crystal’s voice carried across the trailer and no doubt found its way to my mom. She took the pizza and closed the door without telling him goodbye.

I began to wonder if anyone would be shocked by seeing a naked teenage girl just pop out of someone’s home. It seemed everyone at the Fuckman was simply unflappable. I really couldn't blame the Pizza guy though. That was one of the common fantasies people have, so much that I am sure people write internet fiction about it.

I have to admit that it was kind of scary to wonder who was at the door and then when he opened the door to see him smile at me. If he had convulsed in disgust and said what an ugly beast I was – I would have been mortified.

After the pizza guy had gone everyone in the trailer made a bee-line into the kitchen. No one had to be told the pizza guy was here because they had all heard Crystal flirt with him.

Consequently it does not need to be said that between plates, pizza box and napkins – they began to mess up the kitchen I had been working so diligently on.

My mom took a bite of hot pizza and rolled her eyes at me in disgust.

I wasn’t sure if I was even allowed to take a slice of pizza at this point because I was in so much hot water. I decided to ask since no one told me I could when they saw me standing there.

"Mom, may I have a slice?" I asked hoping to get one before the others descended on the pie like locusts. I should have just taken a slice but it didn't feel right, given I was still cleaning up.

"Why should you enjoy hot pizza?" she said taking a second hot slice of cheesy pizza for herself while everyone else dug in.

I was not sure if that was rhetorical but she kept looking at me so I gave her an answer. “I guess I can see why you would think I should not but I haven’t eaten all day.”

"Is that my fault?" Mom asked.

"No, no. I don't know,” I replied quickly “I just am hungry."

“Didn’t you eat a hot dog?” my mom asked.

That had slipped my mind but I agreed and explained it wasn’t very much.

“Well you just said you haven’t eaten all day, and now you say you have eaten, but just not very much. Do you see why we are having problems all of a sudden?” I nodded.

“I don’t think you do see why, or you wouldn’t keep disappointing me,” I think my mom regretted saying that but she didn’t take it back. It felt like stepping on a landmine to hear her express disappointment in me openly as she had.

 "Crystal, what would you have fixed for dinner if there was no pizza?" she asked her sister while they stood in the kitchen over the hot pizza.

"We don’t have a lot and with the truck broke down I don’t know when I’d get to the store. I guess just probably some beans and franks," Aunt Crystal said without much thought.

My mom winced because that didn't seem like an actual dinner. I know my mom is very health conscious and even pizza for dinner would seem like junk food to her. She always made sure we had a main course, vegetables and a side dish at dinner.

"Okay, you can have that,” her words were so bitter towards me. It was breaking my heart.

"I am sorry mom!" I offered apologetically. It was just an open apology for everything in general.

"Don't make me feel guilty about this, young lady! You made your bed and you will lie in it." My mom seemed to actively not want to hear me apologize because it was easier to see me as obstinate, than to cave in and let me out of the punishment. I am positive she was conflicted, but did not want to be tempted to lighten up after she had declared her punishment. She can be just as stubborn as I am when she makes her mind up.

I stood at the table not knowing what to do and nodding in agreement.

"I hope you don't expect your aunt to actually fix you a dinner while the rest of us eat Pizza. Find yourself a plate and eat it," my mom instructed.

Savannah made a comment intended for my benefit "Mmmmm, this pizza sure is cheesy and hot. Please tell your husband that we definitely appreciate it Ma'am," to my mom.

"Ma'am, I like that, it's respectful. Why can't you be more like Savannah?" my mom asked me while I fumbled around for beans and franks that I did not even want. It sounded particularly gross.

I wanted to point out that earlier that day Savannah called mom by her first name and that she was just buttering her up. I knew that if I did that, I would seem like I was just jealous or petty. One of the wisest things I did that night was just agree and say, "Yes Ma'am".

I opened the can of pork and beans and almost gagged at the awful smell. How could anyone choke this down?

The rest of the family ate pizza and talked casually. They did not talk to me but I knew everyone was looking at me. I had never been so aware of how my nipples set up on my boobs and jutted out, until I spent an entire afternoon looking down at them.

Even my Aunt who usually conspicuously wore something skimpy had chosen something more casual. She was draped in a black mu-mu that still fit her style, despite covering her entire body. It was sheer and her boobs were slightly visible under the material. I don’t think a single person noticed, because on her it seemed so normal – like something she would typically wear.

It is very hard to be the only naked person in a room full of clothed people.

I was holding a bowl of the sour tasting pork and beans with tiny hot dogs cut up in it while I ate. There were not enough chairs in the kitchen and they were so used to clutter filling them up that most people had chosen to stand and eat.

I did not bother to heat up the beans because my mom gave me the evil eye while I ran the can opener as if the sound was annoying everyone else and would I please stop.

I couldn't imagine the grief I would get for using a pan and turning on the stove. I was feeling meek and wanted to just accept my punishment without putting up a fight. It would make it go faster and the truth is – everyone had already seen me naked. There really wasn’t much more they could do.

"Can she sleep on the couch? I would rather keep the two of them apart," my Mom was talking with my Aunt in a hushed tone. I wondered if she meant Conner, Savannah, Lloyd? I knew one of the people in the equation was definitely me.

"She could sleep in there with you,” my Aunt offered suggesting an alternative. “Mike won't be home tonight probably." 

I eaves-dropped as best as I could while tuning out the others. They were joking about farts, sports and generally bagged on each other. I distinctly heard Ted say he had “Farte-Blanche” and when someone asked him what it was, he ripped a fart and added, “Permission to fart anytime you feel like it.” To chuckles from Lloyd and Conner.

Aunt Crystal whispered a question to my mother, "How long do you want to keep her doing chores and stuff?”

I was lucky Aunt Crystal was naturally loud because I did not hear my mother’s reply.

“If I didn't think she would tell me to go to hell it would probably do Savannah good to have her britches taken down a notch," Crystal joked.

I couldn't make out the rest of their conversation, but the two were comparing notes about the kids, which wasn't a good sign. It meant they were coordinating and they were reinforcing each other’s commitment to stick with the punishment.

"Ellen, I dropped my spoon. Can you get it from under there?" Lloyd asked politely. Without even thinking I bent over to get it for him from under the table. I heard a loud Frriiiiiiiiiiipppppp sound and then laughter.

At the exact time I bent over Lloyd had made it sound like I farted. The room exploded into hysteria at my expense. Ted even set down his plate and waved his hand in front of his nose and said "Oh Beans and Franks" going along with the joke at my expense.

 My mom and Crystal noticed I was standing close to where they were talking and clammed up.

"Fine! Laugh it up!" I'd had enough. I ran into the bedroom I was sharing with my cousins and laid down on the mattress face first and cried into the tiny pillow I had.

I was surprised no one came in to get me and make me suffer some other indignity. I hadn’t finished cleaning the kitchen and assumed I might be in for an even bigger mess once I went out there again.

I sniffed and tried to get a grip on myself.

It wasn't long though before I had cried myself to sleep.

I slept hard. I had been through so much that day that my dreams were filled with all sorts of scary things. I usually wish I could remember them, but this night, I was glad I couldn't.