Chapter Three

The Long Walk Home

Okay, I might have left you with the impression I was stoic and brave as I walked down the Buckman streets in bra and panties.

I most certainly wanted to give that impression to the people who were leering and jeering at me, as I tried to find my way to my Aunt’s trailer.

In truth I was a ball of worry and confusion. I hadn’t eaten much or had anything to drink since we got here last night and I was wishing I had anything to eat right about now – even my Aunt’s junk food. I hadn’t had a chance to properly shower or use the bathroom and I was wishing I had done both. I didn’t even brush my teeth and it pained me to accept that among the items in the car was my toothbrush and I’d have to manage without even that when I got home.

All of this worry of course was small fries compared to the real problem – how to get home as I was dressed and what to say once I got there.

I had seen my Aunt walk outside this morning before most people were awake in much less than I had on, as if this were completely normal. She was reacting to a burglary and had not gone very far from her home – but I had no excuse for what I was doing.

“Hello there stranger, I am just walking home as I normally do from playing Cowboys and Injuns, dressed only in this modest bra and panty set that I am sweating in. Oh has it become see-thru in the back? Well thank you for informing me. I’ll be sure to wear a little more the next time I take a long walk through your neighborhood.” I pictured myself trying to peddle this to anyone who thought to confront me about what I was doing.

In truth though, the only ones who dared to confront me wanted to see me in even less. In the place I come from I am sure a responsible adult would have called the police, or at the very least stopped and questioned me before driving me back home and turning me over to my mother for indecent behavior.

Where are the responsible adults in the Buckman? Are there any?

Were these people simply overgrown 13 year olds?

In a strange way I was actually relieved not to be in Cherry Lawn Estates. I had a dozen friends who might have delighted in spreading rumors and gossip about me there. I remember this one elderly lady who spread rumors about everyone for blocks around that actually looked into people’s windows and then speculated about their behaviors.

Here at least there were people who simply were not shocked or outraged in any way that I was walking down their street as I was.

I remembered when we first drove into the Buckman seeing girls about my age in short leopard print skirts and sports bras or half-shirts exposing their midriffs. I was shocked then, but what I had on was even more inappropriate.

It certainly was a hot summer. I began to rationalize that what I had on wasn’t that bad. My bra was a white plain-Jane snap in the back kind of bra. The panties were simple white cotton no-nonsense junior-miss buy em by the 8-pack kind.

I was thankful for the occasional breeze on what was otherwise very dry heat. My feet would sizzle like hamburgers on the grill for a second each time I took a step and picked them up again – not that I needed any more urgency to walk briskly.

There was a moment when I was lost in my own thought about the ‘Fuckman’ where I reached behind my back and adjusted my panties. I absent-mindedly pulled them up and out of my crack when they started to bunch without giving it much thought.

"Picking a winner?" the words coming from behind me caused me to flinch and my spine to spontaneously crawl like an inchworm up my back.

I would certainly never want to be in this situation again, but after thirty minutes of aimless walking I had started to get over my fear and shame at walking right out in the open dressed as I was.

It was not lost on me that the strange voice behind me was implying that I was picking my butt when he said ‘Picking a winner?’.

Honestly there is no reason I should have turned around. I don’t have any good reason I didn’t just keep walking, as I had done when people tried to get my attention.

I think it was the first time I heard someone who didn’t sound creepy. There was humor in how he asked the question, but he sounded like a nice guy when he asked.

I stopped walking and turned to see a cherubic old man mounted on a golf cart like it was his personal chariot. He was clearly bemused by the lone teenage girl walking around the neighborhood dressed as I was and could tell how out of place I was.

His cart was loaded down with plastic buckets and garden hoses and he clearly was some maintenance man. I imagined he was once someone who delivered tools to the kindly blacksmith I pictured maintaining the tool shed in the quarry in the glory days of it being fully operational.

I was startled and thought he might be someone who could actually help me if he worked for the trailer park. "I am new here, and a little lost, do you work for the park?"

“I sure do! Now where are you trying to get off to little mousey? Trying to get to ‘Rape Street?"

"Is that an actual street?" I asked skeptically. I had seen cock quarries and Fuckman acres signs, that had been left up for years, that I really would not have been surprised if there was an actual ‘rape street’ at this point.

"No, THAT is a joke. Lighten up, Miss Mousey. Girls your age don't usually walk around in just bra and panties until just before rent day." He was clearly having a little fun with my situation and making light of it – I had no idea what he meant by rent day and didn’t want to ask.

My feet began burning from the hot pavement and I started to hop from foot to foot to keep them from sizzling. I was trying to be a good sport because I thought he could help and I ignored his jokes. “The bra and panties is not a normal thing- it was an accident,” I explained.

"Sure, you ‘accidentally’ went out of your house,” he made airquotes around the word ‘accidentally’ to show how little he believed this was an accident.

He mockingly suggested I said to myself “Hey, am I forgetting anything? Guess not,” and ‘accidentally’ started walking up and down the streets in bra and panties for thirty minutes giving wood and dirty thoughts to old perverted men.

“Is that what happened accidentally is it? That happens to me all the time too!” he chortled.

I had a sour expression on my face at being the butt of his joke, but it was actually putting me at ease. He had an easy manner about him and he felt like someone who was ‘safe’ despite his crass sense of humor.

"Funny ha-ha,” I said with the tone that suggested I thought quite the opposite. “There is a long story. I am not a slut or anything like that I can assure you,” I decided to add.

"Oh no? Well why did I bother to talk to you then?" he laughed pantomiming driving his golf cart away immediately upon learning I was not a slut as he might have hoped. He didn’t actually drive away of course. He introduced himself "Name is Oddjobs. You can call me Oliver." He was making himself chuckle with his own jokes.

"Do you think you could give me a ride to my Aunt Crystal's trailer?" I asked hopefully while hopping from foot to foot.

"Okie Doke, but you gotta ride on my lap and talk about whatever pops up." His witty response wasn’t lost on me.

I realized he was kidding with what he was implying but I also realized he might not be the kindly white knight I thought he was at first. His last joke increased the creep factor by two and I tried to excuse myself politely and keep walking.

"Oh don't get your panties in a bunch,” I could tell from his voice he was following me in the golf cart. “Actually, get them in a bunch! I'd love to see what THAT looks like," he pulled up right next to me and smiled while I walked. "I was kidding you about the lap thing. Lighten up, Frances".

"My name isn't Frances, it is Ellen," I corrected. I was confused by his choice of nicknames. If he wanted to comfort me then calling me ‘Miss Mousey’ or ‘Frances’ wasn’t doing it.

"It's a line from a movie,” he dismissed my taking offense as if I should have understood his reference. “Listen, I'd love to ride you to your trailer, but I have to tell you one thing. You know here at Buckman Acres there are probably about a hundred Crystals? Even more Tammys than there are Crystals. I’d love to say there are more Angels or Candies but there are probably less than those of girls named Crystal. So as you can see I'd love to help ya missy, but I just can't see how to find your trailer if you don’t know the address."

"Her daughter's name is Savannah?" I offered the first clue that popped into my mind.

"Oh, THAT Crystal,” he immediately recalled. “She has fake boobs and likes to suntan outside in a thong?" he was clearly very well familiar with my aunt Crystal.

"Wow, yes! Is there a chance there is another one?” I wasn’t having much luck recently and this was the first good news I had in a long time – I didn’t want to get my hopes up too high until I was certain.

"No, no. Those two girls, I know them,” he chuckled as if there was more to the story than he was letting on. He bid me to hop on and said he would have me there ‘in a jiff’.

I had to hang on to his little rickety golf cart precariously as he took up both seats in the front. I was enjoying the slight breeze provided by his trying to impress me getting the wobbly cart up to its top speed. He would pull down and push up on a throttle that looked like he had spray-painted and connected himself and the tiny cart would groan and hiss but pick up speed.

I would imagine we might have been making about twelve miles per hour, but without any windshield, the wind whipping through my hair made it feel dangerously too fast. I had to hold one hand on my bra and one hand on the side of the rail in the back for fear the bra might just pop right off and fly off. The irony of having found a short cut home only to lose my top before I got there was not lost on me.

I would never have turned on the streets he chose. I would have been roaming the trailer park for hours.

He did stop to talk to another man who was about his age and girth. That was embarrassing but it allowed me to pick the love bugs and mosquitoes off my skin while he explained, “I am taking Ellen home to her Aunt Crystal’s place. You know the one with the daughter? Yeah, she left her house ‘accidentally’ like this.”

I glared at him when he implied it was no accident, but he didn’t notice.

“She isn’t a slut though,” he laughed as he repeated my earlier words as if he didn’t really believe them and gave me a wink and a nudge to be a good sport before he continued on to our trailer.

I was thrilled to be back at the trailer so I thanked him and gave him a hug. “Thanks so much! You really saved me."

He could have made the hug creepy or weird but he chose to just be pleasantly surprised. If I hadn’t been overjoyed I probably wouldn’t have taken the chance, but I did it without thinking. Two days ago I would not have thought anything of hugging someone. Two days in the Buckman and I was already aware that it might give him the wrong impression of me.

I straightened myself up and decided I was going to march right in and give my cousins and brother a piece of my mind for leaving me out there to find my way back.

Unfortunately, the first person to see me as I opened the screened door was Ted. That meant my parents were back and all the angry, hot wind in my sails dissipated into a flash of frozen fear.

"Hey jail bait! Whoa, nice outfit,” He took a long gander at me adding “Thought you were all knees and elbows, but you got legs!" he whistled and blocked me at the front door.

I kind of wish he had blocked the door so I couldn’t get in because the next sound I heard was the banshee like wail of my mother. "CAN YOU EXPLAIN WHY YOU ARE DRESSED THIS WAY?"

My mother grabbed me harshly by my ear and that was something she had never done before. I was never spanked or physically punished in my entire life. It simply never came up because I don’t think I ever thought to give her any reason to do that. I’ve always been a good kid who just wanted to please and get along.

My mom wanted to give me a good talking to in private. She pulled me by my ear into two different rooms but there was someone in each of them. There was simply no privacy here to have a conversation. I was actually thankful there was no privacy because I was not looking forward to this confrontation.

My mom is not one to give up and she eventually found the bathroom unoccupied. She shut the door hard and began to lay into me about what I had on with the shock and disgust I would expect from a responsible adult and mother of a teenage daughter.

"What is the meaning of running around here dressed like a little hussy?" she put her finger right into my face and tried to control her boiling rage.

"It really is not what you think!" I defended myself instinctively. I had never been in a situation like this one where my mother was so critical. Her eyes seemed so disappointed in me and that hurt worse than anything I’d experienced today. I was panicking and trying to appeal to her reason.

"How do you know WHAT I think?" her eyes were burning holes directly into the pit of my stomach and I felt like just curling up into a little ball and crying ‘I have no idea’.

Instead I took a deep breath and told her what I thought she thought. That is a pretty bold move if you think about it. You are a teenager caught in bra and panties as you try to re-enter your own home and when confronted you are going to calmly explain what your mother is probably thinking.

If I had been street-wise like Savannah I would have never tried a tactic like that. I would have blown her off as over-reacting, or I might have said sweetly I’d never do it again. I would have most likely come up with a plausible lie; but instead, I went with the truth and what I thought she was really thinking because I really didn’t know any other approach.

"You think I have decided to wear the panties and bra out of the house and walk around the Fuckman because," I was almost through my very well-reasoned explanation of what she probably thought when I heard the word’s ‘Fuckman’ come out of my mouth.

The words came out in slow-motion like they would in a movie where someone is shouting ‘Noooooooooo’ and the action slows down as they warn everyone in vain to get out of the building before it blows up. I heard ‘Fuckman’ clearly and yet it was simply too late for me to stop myself by the time they came out. I covered my mouth in total shock.

I had been saying ‘Fuckman’ all day long. I had warned my brother Conner that every time he cusses he was taking the chance he would accidentally use those words in front of mom and dad. He had laughed at me saying ‘Gosh’ and ‘Golly’ and using euphemisms instead of

trying to sound like an ‘adult’ and cuss; and here I had been tripped up the same way.

All I could think was - damn whoever made the "B" into an "F" on the sign in front of the park anyway! The word was stuck in my head.

My mom didn’t wait for my inevitable mea culpa and apology for swearing. Her rage had finally boiled over and she grabbed a fistful of my hair and pulled me over the sink.

"You eat this bar of soap right now!!" She was clearly stressed out and angry and probably over-reacting. Then again she thought I was smoking dope, parading around the trailer park showing myself off and now I was cussing and we had just lost everything – she might have felt she was going to lose the old me.

The soap bar was open – which meant someone had used it before. She took the white bar of soap and pushed it up to my lips forcing my mouth open. I was too shocked to disobey and I accepted the soap without resistance.

"The FUCKMAN?" she shouted. She looked up and around as if she were realizing how easily sound traveled for the first time and toned her language down while I held the soap in my mouth. "The Fuckman?" she almost whispered the question.

It was clearly rhetorical because I had soap in my mouth and I couldn’t respond. She was simply expressing her disbelief that I would use that kind of language and I knew that so I stood there staring at her meekly.

"I don't want you ever calling it that. This could be our home for a while. I will not have you become one of THEM!" she pointed out the door to indicate my Aunt’s family and I could understand that sentiment completely.

"We have not been here a full day and you've been mixed up with a baggie of marijuana cigarettes in your pocket, you've been walking outside in just a bra and panties, you've been playing dirty games with boys, and I don't know what else!"

I think my mom said ‘marijuana cigarettes’ to make herself sound like she had no idea what they were really called – who says that?

I wanted to reply because I wanted to find out what she knew about the ‘dirty games’ and explain that had not been my idea at all.

“Mrrffff,” was all I could manage, which was about how I sounded with my nightshirt in my mouth. I secretly wondered if my mom had ever been ‘cool’ in any way, or had she always called it a ‘marijuana cigarette’. I suppose thoughts like that help me to take my mind off the confrontation and seriousness of my situation.

Mom continued, "My OLDER sister walks around this trailer with her fanny hanging out in front of your Dad and Conner like it’s no big deal. That makes her daughter think she can be a little tease and do it too. However, I thought you had more sense than that?"

It was not lost on me that she might even be talking loud enough now that her sister would hear her. I remembered earlier that morning when my Aunt had jokingly said she was younger than mom and I think my mom did too.

I knew this question was not rhetorical but all I could manage in response was another ‘Muh-rmmrmrfffff’ as I tried to dislodge the soap from between my teeth and manage an intelligible answer.

My mom didn’t take the soap out and she clearly didn’t care what I would have said. That is good because I wasn’t sure what I would say to her as a reply.

"Ellen, I cannot rock the boat here. Our current financial situation is bleak, and like it or not this IS Crystal's house after all. She makes the rules just as we would if they were staying with us. I am trying to respect that and I cannot very well tell her to put something on. What I CAN do is tell you to put something but I really should not have to do it. You know better than this Ellen. You should know by now how inappropriate just walking around that way is.” My mom was lecturing me and at the same time pleading with me to behave. She was stressed; and not having control over the situation was, I think, not only increasing her fear but making her cling to the few things she could control – which included me.

Her tone was slowly becoming more calm but no less urgent. “Ellen when you were three years old you could run around in the sprinklers and play with just your panties on. You do understand that as a teenage girl what signals that gives to boys, that you are willing to dress and act like a slut?"

"Mrrffff" the word ‘slut’ coming from my mom hit me like a ton of breaks. I think I would have said ‘Ouch’ because her thinking I was one cut me to the quick.

"Oh, for pete's sake!" she took the soap out of my mouth, realizing how ridiculous it was that I kept trying to talk while clinching it in my teeth. She let me rinse my mouth before I gagged on the soap that I had swallowed. It left an acrid and alkaline taste in my mouth, but I faced her apologetically.

"I am so sorry, mom. I won't do it again. I just had nothing to wear and I lost the night shirt and," I was mid-apology when there was a knock on the bathroom door.

"Patricia!" it was Crystal talking to my mother. "Open up, it's my fault. Come on out and let's talk about it."

My mom opened the door and stuck her head through "Actually, I'd like to have a private conversation with my daughter, if you don't mind?" She said tensely.

"I don't mind; but it is just, you know, everyone can hear you, right?" Aunt Crystal cast a bemused grin at the thought of a private conversation in the close-quarters of her trailer.

It partially took the wind out of my mother’s sails that everyone was aware of every word of her ‘private’ conversation. I could almost see her reading back through everything she had said out loud to see if she needed to apologize to anyone for what she said about them.

She definitely lost some of her thunder and lightning because her tone changed to one that was polite and patient. "Ellen is also only partially dressed. It may be best for us to finish in here before I come out and speak to you about this affair."

"Oh Dear Lord,” Aunt Crystal waved her hand dismissively. “The girl is OVER dressed for the Buckman,” I assumed that was hyperbole, but only barely. “We all saw her little narrow behind walk in here like that. Ellen’s little crease ‘taint nothing none of my boys never seen before. Now come on, you two let's sit down and get to the bottom of it." My Aunt was being playful while being diplomatic at the same time.

The fact that Aunt Crystal’s attitude wasn’t one of extreme freak-out-ittude like my mother was only making my mother more tense. She didn’t want her sister’s interference, especially if it undermined her own position on the matter.

"I am just glad her father stayed at City Hall,” my mom said in a very calm yet terse voice. “If you think I over-reacted, then I can only imagine what he would say." My mom calmed down and apparently acquiesced to her sister because she followed her back into the living room. I felt like waiting to be told to come along, but I decided it might be better to follow her than wait and be ordered to do it.

I was also breathing a sigh of relief to learn my father had not heard any of this.

"Now, look y'all," Aunt Crystal took a sip of her drink. I would have guessed she was drinking wine from a plastic tumbler. She took us all out to the living room where she sat on the couch and lowered the volume of the television.

"I ain't Doctor Phil, so I don't claim to have all the answers. Sometimes you need a little skin to win out here. If a guy sees a cute little butt wiggling, then what is the big deal if he gets a hard smile?" I could see that this line of my Aunt’s reasoning was having no impact on my mom, as it had none on me. I started to wonder if she was really the best advocate for me at the moment.

My mom deliberately chose not to address her point and asked, "It is noon, are you already drinking?"

"Damn, that late? I better try to catch up!" she laughed and took another sip from the tumbler with a coy smile. "It's just a little bit nipply outside- for the chill." she said playfully and clearly ignoring the fact it was summer time. "Hey, it's like you said, it's my house and my rules.”

“Yes it is, but it is my daughter,” my mom reminded her.

“That it is, but I believe she is in that bra and panties because YOU don’t have any other clothes for her?” Aunt Crystal replied. There could be said to be a love-hate relationship between my mom and her sister. I could see that there was some bad blood between them, that the two hadn’t brought up, and they were both reading between the lines in their conversations – not just on this one. They could say something very hurtful with a very friendly tone. I had known girls like that at school that I call “Friendemies” – closest friend and biggest rival.

“I don’t have any other clothes for her that is true,” my mom hated to eat crow and admit that. “I thought your daughter was going to loan her some clothing though?”

“Yes, but you said that it is my house and my rules, is it not?” Aunt Chrystal wasn’t getting angry – she was asking in a very casual, almost jovial way.

My mom nodded and my Aunt said, “What’s that, I can’t hear you?” and my mom said out loud that it was her rules and her house.

“So then, if I do not want YOUR daughter to wear MY Savannah's clothes then that would be up to me would it not?”

"I thought you said I should borrow some from her?" I piped in to the tug of war over my clothes that might be rooted in an argument from long ago.

Aunt Crystal looked at me and said "Oh well, you see I changed my mind. I don't want you to become like one of US!" she took a drag from a cigarette letting it sink in that she had heard every word my mom had said to me in the bathroom. She was being arbitrary and loving it. 

“Ellen should not be in trouble because she walked around in the only clothes YOU provided for her. I am the bad-guy here. I was the one who told them to go out and play just like she was. I remember when she left like that and told her it was fine. My rules, you know.” She grinned at me.

I think in her own way Aunt Crystal was trying to do me a favor by taking the flack for my decision. In some ways I had no choice in this but in other ways I certainly had although it was really hard to see at the time – I can see it as I reflect on those circumstances.

It bothered me because none of that was true. She barely noticed me when I left, and I had on my nightgown then.

It was clear that my Aunt was drinking because I could smell wine on her breath. She wasn't stumbling around on the floor drunk though. I have never been around anyone who is drunk, other than what I’ve seen on television. I wondered if she was lying because she was drunk or she wanted to keep me out of trouble – truth be told she may have just been wanting to pull my mom’s chain.

“You did not forbid my daughter to wear clothes and if you did then she should have known not to go out like that!”

“I told her to go out with the other kids. It is my house and my rules and you are a guest in them. Do you remember saying that you don’t want her to be like us? Well, what makes you think being a judgmental priss like you is any better?” Aunt Crystal delivered that last line with a stone cold sober edge to her voice.

“So you forbid her to borrow her cousin’s clothes and insisted she go out of the house like that?”

“I surely did, because I am irresponsible trailer trash; isn’t that right Ellen?” I really wished my Aunt hadn’t asked me that question. At the same time I was glad my mom hadn’t asked me to verify it was true because it was not.

“I never said that you were Aunt Crystal.” I was uneasy answering her question.

“You did not have to say it, my dear niece. Your faces say it. Now if you want to get new clothes, then I suggest you ask someone for a ride to the store or ask Ted nicely to take you in OUR car.” My Aunt was being catty with my mother.

“This certainly changes things. I apologize Ellen,” my mom looked at me with a face full of doubt the story was true. I should have said it wasn’t and that she didn’t need to apologize but I was frozen and intimidated. “That is fine and you know what Crystal? I will buy all new clothes for the family," My mom added bluntly taking my Aunt's bait.

"Where? With what money? You are broke and Ted's truck broke down on the way back taking your precious husband Mike to the City Hall you just HAD to get to today!" Aunt Crystal was alternating between bitchy, angry, and amused tones while sipping on her wine.

I wanted to be dismissed from this tense conversation and I could feel Ted staring at me. I wasn’t sure if he was ogling me or just upset that we were talking and he couldn’t hear Judge Joe Mathis on TV.

“We tried to tell you to give Ted some time to get it fixed first, but you said he would just procrastinate and can’t he just take you, did you not?” Crystal pressed the issue. If my mom had just let it go, maybe Aunt Crystal would have listened to reason and let it go too. I think they were just antagonizing each other.

"Go on in your room, Ellen, I am going to talk to your Aunt a little bit," my Mom forgot all about my situation and excused me from the conversation. I was only too happy to get out of there. I had a feeling this wasn't about me, it was about some rivalry from their own childhood.

I did not have to tell my cousins and brother what had happened. They had all heard and when I walked into our shared bedroom they all broke out in hysterical laughter, pointing at me.

How could my own brother take their side over mine? I had tried being a good sport, but now they were just being mean. "Hardee, Harr Harr" I gave them a look of indifference. I did not want to give them the satisfaction of showing how hurt I was, although my face probably gave me away.

"You guys basically raped me out there today," I whispered knowing if they heard mom and Aunt Crystal, then they could hear us. I added, "And now I've got to pay the price!"

"Oh yes mommy, please put soap in my mouth," Savannah’s impression of my voice was that of a timid little girl.

"I did NOT say that to her!" I fired back and took a seat on my mattress Indian style.

"No, you said Mrmrmmrmrmrmrmmrm," Conner was cutting up along with them and having fun at my expense.

"You know Conner, it would help if you were on my side a little here?” I pleaded and I saw the smile on his face fade as I shamed him for laughing.

"Oh, he could, he most certainly COULD," Lloyd butted in. "But what fun would that be? I am always pulling one over on Savannah and she is always getting me back. That is how we show we love each other."

Savannah stood up and pushed aside some hangers in her closet, "Don't go getting all mushy, Lloyd the Noid." She continued, "Look, you didn't win the game of Life, but I can't keep fucking with you. How about a peace offering and I will find something for you to wear, okay?"

"Actually, your mom forbid you to loan me anything," I pointed out dutifully. I don’t know why I can be such a stickler about rules from authority figures, but I felt obliged even as absurd as it sounded.

"Crystal's just a little drunk," Savannah said dismissively of her mom. "She’ll forget all about it - trust me. But if you want to be a goody little two shoes and sit here flashing the beaver to my brother all afternoon then go right ahead!” she wiped her hands as if pantomiming she no longer cared and pointed at my crotch.

"CAMEL TOE!!" Lloyd looked at where Savannah was pointing and saw the outline of my pussy pressed into my panties from how I was sitting.

There was no question the panties had risen up my crotch and perfectly outlined the shape. I couldn’t understand – had they not seen enough when I had nothing on at all earlier today?

"Gross, it looks like a little babies butt," my brother added, laughing about the shape my vagina made in my panties.

"Shhhh, her panties are so tight - I think I can read her lips!" Lloyd put his hand to his ear to pantomime listening.

I wanted to say that made no sense and that you don't listen with your ears to read lips. I was drowned out by their laughter so I rolled on to my belly instead.

"Oh don't pout, Sis," Savannah gave a lazy smile and added, "We are just having some fun with you. You want to be a spoiled sport, that is fine with me." 

I did not have a blanket to hide under, but even with the heat I just wanted to get under it and hide.

"Look,” Savannah lectured, “Boys and Girls, this is a two butt cheek room with eight cheeks trying to share all of it.” I quickly did the math to figure out she was using a crass expression to explain four people sharing a one person room.

“So either you are going to stare or you are going to hide your eyes, but you better pick one right now." Savannah said for the benefit of my brother and me. Then she reached down to where I was laying on my stomach and gave me a playful slap on the ass.

I stayed on my stomach, "It's just been a weird day, guys. I've lost everything I owned. I have been tied to a tree, stripped naked and fearing I’d be raped and I haven’t had a thing to eat since last night." I am sure that not eating did not really sound bad to the same order of magnitude as the first two, but right now my stomach was growling and all I could think to do was eat.

"Ooh, poor little rich girl," Savannah continued to mock me. "Did you stop to think some of us didn't have a pot to piss in and wish we at least had what you had for as long as you did?"

I shrugged. She was right but I did not want to concede her point.

"I say tough titty! Yeah, life gave you a hard shove. So what? Shove back!" I have to admit that Savannah may have a saucy way of talking, but she was making sense.

"Its good advice, thank you, Savannah" I smiled. "I guess I'll borrow that outfit now," I knew I had been hasty. It was pretty absurd to picture staying in the bra and panties for the next few days.

"Oh fuck no - didn't you hear my mom? She said no." Savannah denied me outright.

"Wha? You were just about to loan me something? I realize that I’ve caused you some consternation today but please be reasonable Savannah!”

"Yah, I did offer to loan you something, Miss Fancy Words. That was before you were such a pissy bitch about everything." I could not believe she was serious.

I knew I would get no sympathy from her. I looked over at my brother and pleaded silently for him to intervene on my behalf or help. He answered my look back, "Hey, all I have is what I got on too!"

"You have those pajama bottoms you wore last night?" I begged.

"Uh, you are never going to fit in my pajamas, Duh!" he was right. I was petite, but I stood a full head taller than him.

I let it go with his explanation and turned to the last remaining person in the room "Lloyd?"

"What? Loan you my shit and get my balls cut off by Savannah and MY mom? Nuh-uh, y'all need to work this out. I am not in it." He popped his knuckle and cut a fart at the same time, while letting out a satisfied "Ahhhhh" as if he could really care less about our drama.

My brother grinned at the accomplishment. I think his Nintendo DS had run out of power and now he was finding he had to interact with other people and was enjoying it.

“Okay it is fine if you won’t help your cousin,” I was passively aggressive in trying to make him feel guilty. The thing I did not realize with Lloyd is he isn’t bright enough to pick up on subtle influence. You have to hit him over the head with what you are trying to say. I asked him bluntly about the knife he had put to my throat at the quarry, "Speaking of being cut off then what was with that knife today?”

 "Pretty cool, huh?" he pulled it out of his back pocket and began flipping it around. "It's called a butterfly knife," he laughed at how ignorant I was for not knowing that.

"Okay, I don't care what it is called, sorry," which came out a little cold when I said it. "You basically held it up to my throat and freaked me out".

Lloyd reached out his arm and grabbed my panties. Then he lifted them up hard and let the waist band snap back down. "Don't see any brown stains so you didn't shit your panties." He laughed, "You aren't cut open and no worse the wear. I don’t see what all the pissing and moaning is for."

"Geez, it was just a game, girl. Let it go. Lloyd wasn’t going to cut your neck open! You've never played truth or dare, or spin the bottle, or any teenager games?"

I was not doing a very good job of winning anyone over to my side. I was tired of sounding like a prissy-goody-two-shoes and so I did something very against my nature. “Sure I have,” I lied.

In truth I would never go to any sort of party like that or have any interest in it even if my parents were not on the overprotective side.

"Okay, then Dare! Go out in the living room buck naked and say your panties and bra are dirty and you are gonna wait for laundry day," Savannah was quick to challenge me.

"Fuck no!" I said a little too loudly and suddenly wish I hadn't snapped at Savannah.

"Oooh, get the soap Lloyd,” Savannah smiled at my cuss-word adding, “Trailer park Ellen dun goof'd!"

"I am going to backtrace it!" Lloyd said, making some inside joke or reference to his sister but Conner actually seemed to get the joke or pretended he did.

"Okay, if you won’t do Dare, then Truth! Why are you such a pussy then?" Savannah's barb hurt.

"So, because I won't take my clothes off and walk into the living room that makes me a pussy? Why don't you do it?" I gave her a dirty look.

Savannah did not say another word.

I had shut her up and won a small victory.

That is what I thought, until she pulled off the black Motley Crue t-shirt she had on. She was completely naked. I will say for sake of the reader that her body is naturally very perfect and pert. Her breasts are a natural B or C cup, with a perfect slope and perfectly placed strawberry colored nipples that could easily grace the cover of Playboy. She was completely shaved hairless below her neck and there wasn’t a freckle or a blemish on her shapely body.

I was shocked she hadn't been wearing anything under the shirt. This wasn’t a long shirt, but obviously if she was willing to take it off without hesitation then she didn’t care if someone saw under it.

Lloyd had obviously seen her before, but he smiled. My brother Conner's eyes expanded to twice their normal size.

Lloyd playfully punched him on the shoulder and added, “Second pair of titties you saw in a day and they’re your cousins!” but my brother was completely star-struck and probably didn’t hear him.

"Oh gawd, don't drool on that mattress you little fucking pervert," Savannah winked at my brother with an aura of confidence. She didn’t try to block anything and when she turned around I could see everything between her legs, including the tiny and perfectly round pink butthole between her cheeks. Her pussy lips reminded me of a ripe peach. I am uncomfortable describing her body, but the first image that flashed into my mind when I saw the parted lips between her legs was a healthy, Georgia peach.

She opened the door without any hesitation or need for a deep breath and sauntered on down the hallway with the lithe grace of a ballerina.

We sat for a full minute after she left in stunned silence.

I laid on my mattress wondering what my mom would say and what kind of excuse I could give while looking at Savannah's shirt she so casually dropped without the least bit of worry.

"Don't even THINK about grabbing Savannah's shirt before she gets back - just a little friendly advice," Lloyd offered. I hadn’t thought about it until he mentioned it. I had a vision of her prison shanking me for daring to touch her clothes without her permission and pouted.

We did not talk or really say anything for what seemed like fifteen full minutes. I think we were all waiting for the shattering of dishes and the clashes of pans as they freaked out about Savannah – at least that is what I was listening for.

Savannah opened the door to our room and casually bent at the waist towards us to provide an overly dramatic bow like she had just performed a death-defying feat in the Circus of Stars. “That boys and girls is how it is done,” she said while scooping up her t-shirt and sniffing it before slipping it over her head.

"Got your brother's eyeballs back in his head yet?" she smirked at me and teased Conner once she was dressed. She flipped her long blonde hair back behind her back and adjusted herself so she could sit Indian style on her mattress.

She addressed Conner as if he were from the 1600s and had never seen an automobile. “You have never even seen a boob for real in person?”

"Not until today," he had gone back to playing his Nintendo while she was gone and only stopped to watch her get dressed.

"Okay, that is just sad," she paused awkwardly to look at him with disbelief. She seemed to think this was a tremendous oversight on someone’s part and that there was something defective about him that he hadn’t.

There was now silence in the room and Lloyd and Savannah stared at me lying flat on my stomach.

Conner eventually paused his game and stared at me.

I looked back at them wondering why they were all silently staring at me.

“Well, so we are waiting for the show, Miss Thang. Did you intend to do the dare?" Savannah asked as if it was obvious it was my turn.

"I didn't know we were playing," I said and looked down at the mattress.

“You did not know we were playing a dare game?” Savannah sounded annoyed and betrayed. “You may have told me that before I walked in the living room. I sat right next to Ted and left a snail trail on the leather couch for him and you were going to tell me you didn’t really dare me when I got back?"

At that time I was not sure what a ‘snail trail’ was, but I had some ideas. I really did not know what to say to Savannah but I probably should have made it clear before she walked into the living room. She did it so casually and effortlessly I did not think it bothered her.

Savannah looked at me very seriously, "Just go out there for fifteen minutes and sit in the living room. If anyone dares to ask you anything, then say you don't see the problem with it around the house and that should be the end of it. Do that and I'll share some of my clothes with you."

She was tough and confrontational most of the time but when she offered to share her clothes with me I got the impression she was giving me a chance to redeem myself in her eyes. I got the distinct impression she is a very proud girl and there was no way that once I refused her offer to help that she was going to help again - and this was my chance to earn that help.

I bit my lip and decided I would do it. She did it, so why could I not get away with it? Even though everyone had already seen me naked in this room I asked for some privacy by adding a stipulation, "Conner and Lloyd turn your heads at least while I undress," and stood up to indicate I was willing to do the dare.

“Oh my gawd, did your dirty little perv of a brother turn his head when I got undressed?” Savannah’s question was rhetorical. I could see Conner actually smile at being called a dirty little perv. Savannah had a way of calling people a name and making them feel it was a pet name born out of affection.

“The idea is to be playful and have fun with your dare. You act like you are going to the electric chair or that you are betraying a national secret to the fucking KGB if a boy finds out what you have between your legs.”

I put my hands behind my back to unsnap my bra. She was right and it was unfair that Savannah had done a dare if I did not stop her.

“Like I said earlier,” Savannah reiterated “We are eight ass cheeks living in a room big enough for two cheeks and one hole.” I smirked because I did not really need that visual.

She continued, “Go in there with an "I dare you to ask me why I am doing this!" look on your face. They'll never call your bluff!"

I unsnapped the bra and revealed my breasts. I couldn’t look the others in the eye. I just held the bra in one hand while trying to slide my panties off awkwardly. If heartbeats could power a generator I could have run the electricity of the entire house. I couldn’t believe I was already doing this, but I was already half-naked.

"Boys and girls let's give her a big hand,” Savannah condescendingly gave her approval. “She is afraid to even bend over or someone may see her pink little pee hole." I have to admit my cousin’s sarcasm can come across funny and cute – I was just too scared to do more than smirk.

I had summoned up every ounce of courage. The song by Carly Rae Jepsen “I just met you and this is crazy!” was running through my head. I just met my cousins and this WAS crazy and I was crazy for doing it.

I was about to walk out of our door when Savannah warned me in way too loud of a voice to set down my bra and panties. “What are you, Linus with his safety blanket? Set those down. Were you planning to put them back on when you get to the living room?" she implied I might cheat.

The truth was I was carrying them because I was clinging to any shred of dignity and control I had at my disposal; and subconsciously this was literally the last thing in the world I had, so I did not want to let it out of my sight.

My heart was beating so fast I wasn't even thinking to give her a proper response. I just set down my stuff and walked into the hallway. I tried to be as casual as Savannah had been when she made her graceful and carefree exit, but I was stilted and awkward.

I had an opportunity in the hallway leading into the kitchen to just stay where I was or turn around. I had not made a complete fool of myself yet and a big part of me was screaming, “I don’t care if they think you are chicken! You ARE a chicken – go back to your room.”

I could have dodged into the bathroom that was just outside of our room and waited out my 15 minutes. I thought about it, and even though I am not dishonest the self-preservation instinct can make you do things you wouldn’t ordinarily do. “Do you want to be honest or do you want to be in super-hot water with your mom that you can never get out of?” I thought to myself.

Savannah came to the bedroom door and whispered for me to come back.

I smiled because she was letting me off the hook before this gets too far.

“I just wanted to say that you had a love-bug stuck in between your titties,” she pulled a tiny black bug that had been coupled with its mate from between my chest that I did not notice and smirked.

“Go get ‘em; and don’t even think about stalling in the hall-way or the bathroom or we won’t open the door back up at all and the deal is off.” She shut our bedroom door and I could hear her turn the knob that locks it from the other side.

“Oh shit, what I have gotten myself into,” I thought. I was thinking cuss words now and that could not be good.

I could see my Aunt, my Mom and Ted sitting in the living room watching television. I was standing just inside the hallway leading to the back bedroom and staring across the kitchen.

They were no longer arguing and were engrossed in whatever program was on the TV.

I felt like a ninja creeping up on the enemy camp and I tip-toed my way through their kitchenette. The table had not been cleared from the morning and the bread was still open with a dirty butter knife resting on top of it.

I could not believe I was getting away with this and no one had said anything. I felt like the world’s greatest criminal must feel when they open the access panel and slide down into the vault room containing the thing they are going to steal. There was adrenalin rushing through me and a kind of giddy euphoria, ‘I am actually getting away with this!’

I walked slowly into the living room and my mom was the first to notice my entrance into the living room. She looked at me once and looked back at the TV. Then her head spun quickly in a double take and she said "ELLEN! have you lost your mind?"

My mom has said my name countless times all my life. I can count on one hand the times she said it like this. It had this screeching, nails on the chalk-board kind of feeling, when I heard her say it that ripped right through me.

My Aunt was the next to notice, "Well hello there, Spitfire." She seemed genuinely amused, but completely unsurprised.

My heart could not have beat any faster than it was right there or I would have taken flight like a hummingbird. I could feel my nipples grow an extra inch just from the blood pulsing through my veins. I could feel what must have been steam rising off the back of my neck from fear.

I thought I kept my composure well. My aunt was seated on a brown leather love-seat and my Mom and Ted were seated on a matching couch across from it that surrounded the TV.

The TV was on the far-north side of the room and beyond that was Ted and Crystal’s Master Bedroom.

There was also an EZ-chair and I quickly scanned for a place to sit down without answering anyone.

I decided I had better sit next to Ted since Savannah had done the very same. I did not want to sit in her ‘Snail trail’, but I did not see any mess on the couch and just plopped down.

I said, "The panties and bra were all sweaty and sticky from today. I don't have anything else?" as if it was a question instead of a statement. I wanted to say all that about, “What is the big deal about it?” like Savannah had suggested but I was so nervous my mouth wasn’t working.

I thought about crossing my legs but I just sat down as I was. I suppose sitting lady like really did not matter when your boobs are hanging out. I did not want to be accused of not doing exactly what Savannah did and I had already come this far with it.

I pretended to watch television and acted like this was perfectly normal. I was suddenly aware though of a thousand tiny daggers being stared by my mother, even if I did not look up to acknowledge them.

"Won't Savannah loan you any of her things?" Aunt Crystal asked. She had apparently forgotten she had forbid me to wear them.

I croaked. My voice was raspy but I managed to ask "Wasn't Savannah just in here naked for 15 minutes? You guys didn't say anything to her about it.”

Ted stopped pretending he was just watching TV and looked over at me with a grin on his face and said, “Now THAT would have been interesting.”

Aunt Crystal reached over and smacked him on the knee for what I believed at first was basically insulting me and implying my being out there like that was not interesting. It dawned on me that she was shaming him for showing an interest in his step-daughter’s nudity though.

"You kids and your fucking games. No, I have no idea what you are talking about,” Aunt Crystal said lifting her wine tumbler to her lips and having a sip.

My mom took a deep drink from a matching tumbler and said nothing. I made the fatal mistake of asking her if that was wine. I have a natural curiosity and it sometimes gets the best of me. I did not realize asking if it was wine implied she was drunk and sounded accusatory.

“Are you asking if I am drunk and that is why we didn’t see another naked girl here flaunting all she has and causing me to pull my hair out with your antics, the answer is no.”

There was no way Savannah could have been out here and they not notice unless SHE had hung out in the bathroom and waited for the fifteen minutes to elapse. I started to understand I had just been pranked.

"How dare you!" my mom became furious. "You think you run things now, that we aren't in our own house that you can embarrass me in front of my Sister, and accuse me of things? I am not the one who came here with marijuana. I am not the one sitting in the living room with your damned legs apart catching flies while you try to get attention!"

I had not really thought about it until I looked down and saw my lips were parted slightly and my clit hood was sticking up and out. I quickly crossed my legs for all the good it would do my vanity.

"Oh how demure! You come out here completely naked and then cross your legs like it gives you some sort of protection?" my mom said.

"Fine, you want to shock me then how about I shock you! You think this is funny to give me a nervous breakdown right after our car was broken into and we lost our home?"

She stood up to walk into our bedroom and continued to berate me. “Young lady, you have no idea,” and “Why don’t you just call the news media and let them know!” and words to that affect as she gestured wildly with her hands. My mom has some Greek in her and I can see my Gramma in her when she gets flustered like this. I followed her down the hall to apologize.

They did not keep the door locked on my mother. She opened the door and strode in. The other kids just sat there blankly looking at her with a ‘we had nothing to do with that’ expression.

"A little late for apologies!” Mom grabbed up my panties and bra and walked back into the living room.

I followed her like a puppy nipping at her heels ready to say I was sorry and that it was a foolish game but she would not listen. I was even going to throw Savannah under the bus and say she told me to do it to get some clothes but I did not get a chance.

My mom simply ignored me.

“You don’t see a problem with what you are doing and Crystal certainly doesn’t have a problem with it under her roof. Do you Crystal?”

My Aunt didn’t get a chance to laugh and say anything, but I think she was about to tell her sister to calm down and not overreact.

She opened the front door and threw my panties and bra outside in the yard. I don’t think she realized at first that Zeus and Ares were in the front yard but she quickly added, “That is fine they can guard them until your father gets home.”

She turned to me and said, “You will stay just like that UNTIL your Father gets home and then you can explain it to him. I am done!" then she went down the hall to her bedroom and slammed the door.

Everyone’s mouth was open that had just witnessed my mom’s meltdown. I fell down on the love-seat next to my Aunt in dismay.

"When will Dad get home?" I asked no one in particular. I did not bother to cover myself with my hands but I wanted desperately to curl up in a little ball and have a good cry.

"Good question,” Ted answered me. “I can't fix my truck until I get a part I need. Your Dad'd probably have to just get someone to give him a ride." Ted made no secret he was staring at me right in front of my Aunt.

I think in the world they live in a woman has to put up with a certain amount of lecherousness from a man. I think it is just expected and overlooked.

Aunt Crystal smiled sweetly, "Honey, if you are going to sit on my leather couch naked, please don't leave any snail trails."

"What IS a snail trail?" I asked innocently enough – although I should have guessed what it was.

"Stand up," Aunt Crystal instructed.

I did as she said. My aunt dabbed her finger on the couch, in the imprint my butt made where I was sitting. Then sniffed it and offered it to me. "A little pussy juice mixed with a little butt sweat. It leaves kind of a silver trail," she smirked knowingly.

I rolled my eyes at her and did not sniff. Instead, I stood up and started to stalk back into the bedroom. I could hear Ted say, “Don't go away mad now," after me in a very laid back voice as if he could really care less.

When I opened the bedroom door there was true belly laughs as my cousins and Conner were falling all over themselves. I didn't make any attempt to hide myself from them. I just pouted and folded my arms in front of my chest.

"Oh, so precious! Girl, thank you so much for coming here,” Savannah could not contain her laughter. Her eyes and nose were red and she was giggling so hard that she could barely talk. “This summer is going to be the bomb-diggity!" Savannah stood up to slap me on the back to show her happiness I was there.

"How did you get away with going into the living room naked if I didn't?" I wanted an explanation.

"Ellen, I love you, but you are dumber than a box of turds. I stepped out this door and right into the bathroom. Are you kidding? Run around naked right in front of Ted? My mom would kill me for trying to tease another of my step dads. Ted would try to grope the hell out of me. He is a nasty old pervert. "

Yet Savannah hadn’t cared if he would have tried with me?

"So you never went in there?" I was steaming.

"Nope!" Savannah was openly laughing at my misfortune along with everyone else.

"Okay, fine.” I found myself talking with the arrogance Savannah used when she told us to get over the fact we have to share a small room and will have to make some accommodations.

“Get a good look guys. You saw me naked today twice. Get it all out of your system. My mom threw my clothes outside and said I can't wear anything until Dad gets home which who knows when that will be!" I pouted feeling sorry for myself and threw myself down on the mattress.

I was putting on a show of false bravado. I think my cousin’s sassy attitude had rubbed off on me slightly but I felt completely defeated. They were going to see me naked – I was going to have to deal with it. I suppose I could have screamed and kicked and demanded fair treatment – this was completely inappropriate especially around my brother!

I didn’t though. I felt tiny and I felt on display and all I could muster was a whimpering dare that they go ahead and look at me.

They saw right through it – and just smirked.

"Looks like Hard Times at The Fuckman," Savannah summed up the situation.

I wasn't sure if she was talking about the boy's sudden shifting of their crotches and how they might be hard all the time with the sight of a naked girl; or how I'd gone from being defined by my clothes to being defined by my NOT wearing them.

I guess you could apply the saying to both. I silently agreed, "It sure does look like Hard Times." with a wintry smile.