Halloweiner: A Highschool Horror Tail
Chapter Two

We were quiet in the car almost all the way home. My father finally spoke as we entered the gates of our suburb.

“Punkin’, I had no way of knowing you’d be there. I mean, if you are mad at me because I was there, you should be mad at yourself because you were there too?”

Was he really serious? He acted like I caught him cheating on his diet and eating ice cream and this was no big deal.

“Daddy, I sucked your dick in front of all the other girls.”

“They won’t think any less of you, they all did it too.” He said in that slight southern accent of his that makes him sound like a good old boy car salesman some times. “It’s Halloweiner, it is a tradition. It is sort of like kissing under the mistletoe.”

My dad owned his own business, worked in local politics and was an athletic booster at the school because he himself had been a football star years ago. He got there in part because of his notoriety on the football field in our small town and because of his soft-spoken silver tongue as a salesman.

I gave him a look, the look I’d seen my mom give him a hundred times when he tries to baffle her with the bullshit that usually works on everyone else. He recognized it and chuckled softly.

My dad changed tactics “I am sorry baby, but now that you’ve been initiated they expect you to play along. It is just harmless fun. You can look on the bright side – If you had walked home in the outfit, what do you think I would say if I wasn’t in on it myself?”

I was sitting in the passenger side in a black thong, with a dog collar, stupid dog ears on a beret in my hair, and the cloth tail sitting in my lap but I felt completely naked. I also felt betrayed that my father had picked me last and let me go through that ritual and the other girls had a good laugh at my expense when they unmasked the ‘Gimp’ to reveal my father’s teddy-bear like face.

“Pull over, I want to throw up.” I said in response.

He could see I wasn’t heaving and he once again tried to comfort me as we pulled on to our street. “Oh stop, it’s just one night. When we get inside, play along with me and I will help you get through this, okay punkin?”

When we stopped at the curb I started to get out and he reminded, “You better put your tail in before you get inside.”

I rolled my eyes at him but realized he was probably right. If they caught me out of costume I would have gone through the initiation for nothing and been shunned from the group. The ‘tail’ was on a long stringy wire. There is a hole in the rear of my thong that the wire is supposed to push through and then into the rubber butt plug I still had in.

“Do you want any help, Punkin?” I wished he would stop calling me punkin, but after three tries to get it to line up correctly before getting out of the car I had to reluctantly agree. He had already seen me naked and more so I sighed and faced my butt towards him in the passenger seat and let him pop the tail into place. He gave it a swish and then giggled.

I stepped out into the nippy Halloween air of our yard and started to race towards our house. The leaves were all turning autumn color and my mom had decorated our front porch with maize and Halloween decorations. Everyone on our block goes all out to decorate for Halloween and this year was no exception.

I slammed the door behind me and was about to race up stairs when my mom caught sight of my ‘costume’.

“Where do you think you are going? Come back here right now. Let me see what you have on.” She said in a way that felt like a slow-motion tractor beam pulling me back down the stairs and into the kitchen. I felt defeated as I trudged into the kitchen where my mother was making preparations for Halloween snacks and candy.

I heard the door open and close and suddenly my spirits lifted, because I remembered my father saying to play along with him. He surely had a plan to explain my completely inappropriate and shocking costume to my mom and all I had to do was leave my mouth hanging open long enough to stall her until he found us.

“Oh shit, where is my cell phone?” The person walking in wasn’t my father, it was my younger brother Darrell. He already had his phone in his hand and was snapping pictures of my ass which was covered only by a strip of cloth with a tail sticking out of it.

“Whoa, You could give the dog a bone! Sch-wing!” Darrell is such a derp.

My jaw dropped and I suddenly felt even more humiliated than I had before as his words he intended playfully ripped right through me. I had nothing to say in my defense and it felt like an eternity until my father came inside. He had stopped to pick up a rake and was telling Darrell he needed to take care of the lawn before the trick or treaters start their rounds, “get those leaves piled up, Son.”

He walked into the kitchen and saw the three of us standing there. People often say my mom looks exactly like Eva Longoria and she acts a lot like her character Gabrielle on Desperate Housewives. She is passionate, lively, and extroverted. She might be considered vain, shallow and materialistic but she has always been sympathetic and supportive towards me, especially when Darrell is pulling a prank on me. She usually takes my side.

This time it didn’t look that way. Darrell was grinning from ear to ear at the thought I was probably about to get grounded or worse and he just seemed to enjoy my situation a little too much. I shouldn’t have been surprised though because like all brothers and sisters we have had squabbles, fights, competitions and usually it was me getting him in trouble for forgetting to put something away or whatever petty thing brothers and sisters fight over.

“Yeah, I told you your mom wouldn’t like that outfit, honey. I know you are almost sixteen and want to be treated like the woman you are becoming, but I am afraid you’ll have to take that off and put something else on a little more wholesome because your mom wouldn’t approve.” My dad told me. I looked at him completely confused because he was the one who had encouraged me to walk in here like this.

“Now just wait a minute, I never said that I don’t approve. You are trying to make me into the bad guy again?” Mom put her hands on her hips.

I was caught in the middle like a deer in the headlights as I watched them talk it over, and Darrell just stood there loving every minute.

“Well, do you approve of how she is dressed or don’t you?” my dad asked.

“I don’t NOT approve of it automatically.” She raised her voice slightly.

My dad infuriated her by never arguing and raising his voice when they got into heated discussions. It was rare they did, but like usual he stuck to his slow, rational sounding speech pattern, “Well, I just need to know, because tonight we have a lot of Halloween trick or treaters coming by and your teenage daughter wants to know if you will let her wear the costume she wants.”

It dawned on me that my dad was using some kind of reverse psychology on her. It didn’t dawn on my mom though because she rationalized that he really didn’t want me dressed this way, he just wanted her to be the one to say no to it.

“I am calling your bluff, Buddy! You don’t want her to wear that, but you want me to say no. You must have a bad memory, because you know when I was a teenager, my father hated for me to dress provocatively, and I resented it.”

“Oh yeah, I had forgot about that.” Something about the sweet way he said it told me he had not forgotten.

“You can wear that if you want to dear, just don’t freeze your ninnys off.” She looked me up and down once more and grabbed a basket of candy and walked out of the room.

“Darrell, what are you gonna be this year?” My father addressed his son who was still staring at what I had on in stunned silence.

“I was going to be Batman, but I have a better idea, Dad.”

“What is that, Son?”

“Dog Catcher!”

He was joking and it was obvious he wasn’t serious but my father answered, “Brilliant idea son, when people come to the door you can act like your Sister has got loose and you’ve got to catch her!”

My brother’s reaction was a silent ‘really?’ and my dad told him he had the perfect thing in the garage. He took him in there and stopped before leaving the kitchen “Well aren’t you coming, punkin?”

“Uh yes, Dad.” I wasn’t sure where he was going with his little charade. He had already managed to get me past mom’s radar and as far as I was concerned that is where we should stop. I reluctantly followed the two into the dank garage. I usually stayed out of there because it smelled of oil, gas and ‘man’ stuff and tonight it was wide open with a table decorated for handing out candy and it was already chilly out as the sun had started to go down.

We had a dog years ago, but according to my mom he ‘barked too much, so one day he ran off to doggy heaven’. My father pulled down a wooly cushion, a dog bowl, a leash and some other pet stuff. “Here, this pillow will be perfect for you Hope.”

He set a big dog pillow right under the table and told me to sit on it. “Curl up like a dog, that’s good.” I got into position reluctantly as I wondered where he was going with this. He clipped a leash to my neck and told my brother “Okay, you guys have fun with this. I am going to fill up a dog dish full of candy and when the kids come to reach for one, give Hope a little slack on her leash and she can jump and bark and scare them.”

He let my brother put on a white painters overalls and cap and wrote “Dog Catcher” on the front in magic marker. “There, as simple a costume as your sisters!” and with that my father strode back inside, silently congratulating himself on his plan no doubt.

It wasn’t dark yet and we didn’t expect a trick or treater for at least another half hour. I lay on my cushion looking out at our road and staring at our brick mailbox as I considered the strange events of the last few hours.

I was jarred back to reality by the sudden ‘twang’ of my tail, it was my brother plucking it like a bass guitar string to one of his heavy metal songs “No wait, I can totally play I am still alive by Pearl Jam if you hold still”

“Fuck off.” I usually didn’t cuss but I was really not in the mood for him to rub salt in the wounds and humiliate me further. He didn’t stop and just kept teasing me by plucking my tail. I started to stand up and the chain choked me and pulled me back.

“Unhook me, please.” I demanded curtly.

“Say pretty please.”

“Pretty please” I rolled my eyes in exasperation.

“Pretty please with sugar on top.” He added.

“Oh, Pretty please with sugar on top, best brother and dog catcher, okay?”

“No, I am the dog catcher! I think I like you right where you are under the table.” He stretched lazily as if bored.

I reached behind me futilely to try to undo the leash. It was tightly wrapped to something over my head and other than standing up and knocking over the entire table I couldn’t reach it.

My brother quickly loosened the single string that tied my top and yoinked it off my chest to give me a new thing to worry about. Then he retreated from the table so I couldn’t kick my back legs at him in disgust.

“Behave, and I’ll let you have your top back.”

“Give me my top back!!” Not only did I not want to be exposed topless to trick or treaters, but I knew if I wasn’t in full costume I could be kicked out of S-club. I wasn’t particularly excited to continue to participate in the club but dammit, I had come this far, and I wasn’t going to let my brat of a little brother spoil it.

I pleaded, “Shhh, here comes someone.”

I hunkered down on all fours with my arms wrapped around my chest so they couldn’t see.

It was some rich diva-like over-achiever mom and her two kids dressed as “Brad” and “Angelina”.

My brother handed them the candy and said, “Do you want to pet my dog?”

“You are the dog catcher?” The little girl dressed as Angelina Jolie, complete with wax oversized lips asked.

“That I am, and this is my faithful mutt.” He gave me a quick kick to the rear playfully.

“Looks more like a baby to me, I adopt babies.” The young girl said playing the stereotype of the actress as someone who adopts a lot of children.

“Bark!” He gave me another kick but he didn’t need too. I knew one of the stipulations was anytime anyone gave me the order I had to yiff like a puppy so I did. Everyone including the mom who was checking her facebook on her iPhone giggled.

“Bark again” my brother told me, this time without the kick.

“Arroooo, Arf Arf Arrooo” I howled.

There was tittering but it wasn’t quite as hearty a laugh as the first time they had heard it. They left without noticing I was completely topless.

“That was fucking priceless, I like how you howled. That was hilarious. I didn’t know you were so funny.”

“I am not.” I didn’t want to tell him I had to bark anytime I was told or he’d probably go overboard with it.

“She is right though, you look like a baby. It’s hard to tell you are a dog because your tail is behind you. If I untie your leash will you go inside and use some makeup to make yourself look like a dog?”

“Will you give me back my top?”

“Absolutely, but first I want to be convinced of your commitment to the role. Let’s see how you look in makeup.”

I tried a few more times to convince him to let me have my top, but he was already undoing my leash. He let me stand and walked behind me with about four feet of chain link leash between us. I had my arms wrapped around my chest.

My mom and dad were in the living room when we passed by and my mom once again froze me in my tracks. “Yo, come over here girly”. Darrell had no qualms about walking me over to them.

“What happened to your top?” My mom asked accusingly.

I didn’t get a chance to answer before my dad asked, “That thing pop off again? It’s cheap. I knew I should have bought the more expensive one, but I am sure your mom wouldn’t have liked us spending so much money on a costume that let’s face it, you’ll only wear one night.” He looked at her and she merely grumbled, it was true. They made great money and had a lavish home in the suburb but my mom still loved a bargain. “Son, can it be fixed?”

Darrell handed the wadded up cloth that barely covered my nipples and on a thin string to me while I stood there in bewilderment.

I turned my back to everyone and wrapped the bikini top around me. My father stood up to tie it and asked “Where are you two going? No one is minding the candy store outside?”

“Well, we haven’t been getting many trick or treaters and the last one thought she was a baby.”

“That is because they were Brad and Angelina and they wanted to adopt me!” I scolded him, which ended up sounding like a joke and added a little levity to the situation.

“She was going upstairs to try to fix her costume and put on some make up to make her look more like a dog than she already is.”

I knew my brother meant I was a ‘dog’ in that I was ugly as a double entendre so I gave him a lemony face of disapproval.

“Well, your mother and I haven’t put on our costumes yet, so can you go back outside and apply the makeup while you keep an eye on the stand?”

“There is no mirror out there, Daddy.” I said sweetly, offering a subtle hint that I’d prefer not to be out in the cold air.

“Oh pish-tosh, your brother can paint your face with some whiskers and highlights like a dog.” My dad made it sound like I was complaining about nothing.

They were about to let us go when my father stopped us one more time sounding concerned “Listen, it seems like you are falling out of that costume. Would you do your dear old dad a favor, and maybe put a little dark concealer or something on underneath?” that was more for my mother’s benefit because he gave me a wink to hint that I should play along.

“Alright” I answered reluctantly and we grabbed some make up from my room upstairs. My brother walked back to the garage together, him still walking behind me holding the leash and this time my parents didn’t say a word.

We got outside and after taking care of a couple of trick or treaters who had been patiently waiting for us, he told me to have a seat so he could apply my makeup.”

“I can’t” I made my tail swush slightly to show him that I couldn’t sit down on my bottom.

“Okay, get under the table, and just look up at me.”

“But then my ass will be facing the street, can you turn around in your chair and do it like that?” with any luck from behind him no one would see me at all.

“You wear your cheerleader skirt all the time to school, what is so different with showing your ass off that way?” he asked me petulantly.

I turned my rear to face him to show that other than a black strip down the middle, my entire ass was exposed. “Please?” but my plea fell on deaf ears. He just pointed at the pillow under the candy table next to my dog dish.

I got down on my knees and faced him, and let him start painting whiskers on my face. I pictured something out of the broadway show “Cats” but knowing him it was completely half ass. He was working with a lot of browns and whites and half-tones and I wondered if he realized just how much of my really good Ultra make up he was using up on this job.

“Okay, pop your top and I’ll rub some of your boobies.”

“Most certainly not” I answered back without hesitation.

“You heard dad, if you pop out, this will make it look like you have something on.” He had a brush to dust a light coat of makeup on me.

I reached behind my back to untie it, “How about I apply it to my chest, okay?”

He agreed to the trade and let me hold my make up after I removed the top, “Tell me if anyone is coming” I warned him.

“You mean like right now? Hi folks, Dog Catcher Darrell and his faithless mutt here, you come for candy?” he said to a family of four that was apparently standing right behind me. The two boys were dressed as ninjas which might have explained why they were able to walk up on me without me noticing.

They could only see my back and tail presented to the street, so I wrapped my arms around my chest to wait for them to leave.

“My Dog is so smart, watch this” Darrell told them “Bark once if they can have candy if their costumes are awesome, bark twice if they can’t because their costumes are too lame.”

I barked once and there were some giggles.

“You didn’t even see the costumes, turn around and look muttly.” He chided me. I looked over my shoulder. “Did you get a good look? Bark once for yes, bark two for no.”

I barked once and this time the father of the bunch laughed the most.

The eldest of the two kids asked, “Are you the dog who can only bark once?”

There was a slight pause followed by a single “Arf” as I thought about how to respond and they all laughed.

“You caught me Ninja master, my dog always barks once to every question, See?” and to demonstrate he said “Muttly, are you the dumbest, smelliest, nastiest dog in the world? Bark once for yes, Bark twice for no.”

Reluctantly I barked only once and after their laughter at my expense subsided, they grabbed some candy from my dish and what Darrell handed them and walked away. I could hear one of the boys tell his parents “I don’t think she had a shirt on”

They answered back, “Nah, it was just a costume. No girl would be outside fully topless.” the father answered.

His wife snarkily added, “Mark, how are you such an expert on what she had on? Were you looking at her?”

“Oh no dear, I only have eyes for you.” I heard him say laughingly as they walked down our driveway and faded into the distance.

I quickly powdered my nipples with brown makeup and went to reach for the tie.

“Time to play fetch, go get it girl!” Darrell had it in his hands and flung it in the yard.

“You asshole!” I gave him a solid punch to the thigh and he just laughed. I couldn’t hit hard enough to do anything but irritate him. I could see my top was hanging in a bush and he had my leash attached to the table so I couldn’t go after it.

He was teasing me about crawling out to get it on all fours when the door to our kitchen opened and out walked my mom and dad. “Hey Dog catcher and dog, how goes the Halloween fun?” My dad smiled his question like it was an audition for Dad of the Year on those old sitcoms on TVLand.

My mom took one look at me down on the floor kneeling at my brother’s feet and squawked, “Do you have a top on?”

My father answered for me before I could respond “This is a family neighborhood, I am afraid I have to put my foot down that you are going to have to put on a top, even if the makeup covers up more than the top did.” He sounded indignant as he asked me where it was.

I answered it was in the hedge and before I could explain why he told me, “well go get it and put it on!”

My father took great pride in his lawn, and all the trees and hedges had accented lighting. I was hesitant to make a move to go retrieve my top because I didn’t want to be standing up in the yard topless if someone walked up. “Darrell has my leash attached to the table.”

“That’s no reason to throw your top half way across the lawn!” My dad didn’t raise his voice but he put a little emphasis on what he was saying to scold me. “Darrell, why do you have your sister’s leash connected to the desk?”

“We were just trying to get into character? I am a dog catcher. I can’t let my dog roam around freely.”

“Fine, fine, if it will get your sisters top back sooner, walk her out there like a puppy, I really don’t care.”

My Dad gave me another knowing wink and my brother unlocked my leash and started to walk me on all fours to the hedge. My parents waited by the candy dish for us to retrieve the top as I padded through the itchy grass on my hands and knees.

It was about that time that two kids on bikes went racing by along the sidewalk. It was just now dark and the street lights had come on but not enough I could see their faces. They whipped eggs at our house and screamed “TRICK OR TREAT!!” I assumed it was those three Waxerman boys I had seen so often trying to peep into my window.

One of the eggs hit me squarely in the ribcage and the other two hit our house.

“Oh no, drive-by egging!” Darrell called and dropped my leash to run for cover.

“You scaredy cat, they are already gone!” I called still topless, still on all fours. I turned around to crawl back to the garage, dragging the leash behind me.

“You know son, I don’t want to see that again.” My dad sounded disappointed “Don’t leave your sister out there without any protection; you should have walked her back.” He was joking and then he gave a light hearted “Well, it’s better than egg on your face.”

My mom looked at me down on the garage floor and asked, “I’ve been meaning to ask, how does that tail stay in?”

I looked up at my father for another one of his brilliant cover stories and in the split second it takes him to formulate an excuse that would make Bill Clinton proud my brother plucked the tail out by the wire.

“I guess it’s on a wire.” Darrell stated the obvious as he held it up to examine the three inches of exposed wire that attached it to my butt plug.

“You know, I meant to ask how that would work when we bought the costume, Hope was so excited about wearing it, she wore it out of the dressing room all the way home!”

“Oh honey, is that wire going into your bottom?” my mom sounded concerned as she asked the question. I still hadn’t put my top back on as I struggled for my excuse.

“No not exactly, it has a base.” I choked out.

“A base, what does that mean? Stand up for heaven’s sake.” I stood up when my mom scolded me. I was once again holding my arms across my chest as she turned me around to face away from her and pulled my thong slightly to the side. She covered her mouth as she let out a gasp “What is this?”

“PRESENT that to your mom right now, young lady.” My father used the command word subtly enough the others may not have picked up on it, but I remembered Cathy’s instruction that if another S-club member told us to present we were supposed to show it to them and return it to its “Home”. I assumed I wouldn’t be spending my entire high school year with this plug firmly planted in my bottom but I had actually grown used to it enough in the last hour that I didn’t really notice it.

“Can we go inside?”

“Why, will it look better for you in there?” My dad wasn’t sounding hostile but he was delivering a point like Matlock on cross-examine.

“No, it would not.”

“Then spit it out and present it to her.” He smiled at me sweetly. I wondered what was going on in that head of his. I could just as easily spill the beans and tell my mom he was the ‘gimp’ although I had no proof and probably not a lot of credibility at the moment.

I bent slightly at the knees and pulled my thong further to the side as I forced the lubricated dome shaped cock out of my asshole and into the palm of my hand. I held it up for the three of them to see, no longer trying to hide my bare boobs.

“That’s shaped like the tip of a man’s penis” my mom stated the obvious. I wanted to joke that I’ve seen dad’s and his is smaller, but now was not the time to be snarky.

“It sure is!” My father feigned surprise as if he hadn’t had that very plug in his teeth only hours earlier. “Put that away right now.”

I knew he was giving me an order and I looked at him shaking my head no.

“You want everyone to see that? Put that away, young lady.”

I took a deep breath and plopped it into my mouth. My brother broke into a ‘Ewwwww, that is so gross’ and after having it in for just a token second I reached behind myself lifted one butt cheek and worked it back in.

“Do you think that is what your father meant by put it away?” my mom asked and before I could say that it was exactly what he meant she asked a second question “And was it really necessary to clean it with your mouth after it’s been up your bottom? Do you know what kind of germs could be on that?”

My lower lip was quivering and I was about to quit S-club and just come clean about the whole wicked game. It didn’t make a lot of sense to continue with the charade at this point and I felt about as low as I could feel.

“You wait right here, Darrell you keep your sister’s clothes on, and we’ll be right back. You know what? I am going to show you! Don’t you move a muscle little girl, until we get back out here.”

“Hah-Hah” my brother imitated the laugh of the bully Nelson on the Simpsons. “You are gonna get in trouble!!” he danced around. They had already gone inside and I plucked the top out of his hands and asked if I could have something to wipe myself off with.

He gave me a shop towel which only smeared my makeup the more I wiped off the egg. “You should probably get under the table” he warned me once I had my top back on. I was trying to put the tail back in to its hole but it was proving impossible, I am not even sure why, since my mom was obviously going to come back out and punish me.

“Here, let me…” He aligned the tail and drove it in to place. I reluctantly thanked him even though he was laughing at my tears.

“Laugh it up funny boy.” Was all I could say. He warned me to get under the table, but I told him I didn’t have to do what he said. “Suit yourself, keep standing.”

There was a whole party of about eight people on their way up our drive way, and I looked ridiculous. I quickly got in place under the desk and even barked when I was told. I no longer felt like playing along but it would not have made any sense to get defiant and draw more attention to myself so I just barked like a dumb dog when my brother gave the order.

They walked away laughing and having a good time while my brother smiled and waved, having just as good a night as they were if not much better. I remained under the table guarding my ‘candy dish’ while I waited for whatever my mom had in store for me.

Three young trick or treaters dressed as ghosts made their way for our front door. My brother tried to signal them he was over at the garage but they either didn’t hear or didn’t listen. It was most likely they didn’t listen because one of them produced a sack and lit it on fire while one of the others rang the bell and ran away.

My dad opened the door while half-dressed in his costume and started shouting “Oh my god, oh my god!” while he stamped out the flaming bag of dog poo in his bare feet. He got it out and drug his feet on the sidewalk as he walked over to us.

He called us by name and with disappointment added, “Hope, I thought you were the guard dog out here, why did you let that happen?”

As I recall it happens every year and my father always falls for it. He pointed at me under the desk “Do whatever your brother tells you, and don’t let that happen again. You wait until your mom gets out here!”

He went back inside in disgust.

I was debating whether to confide in my brother about what happened at school but I thought he probably wouldn’t believe such a far out tale? I mean why would anyone think this is anything more than the kind of story you pull down your pants too and have a good feel and play?

Some trick or treaters approached wearing scream masks, “I see you have a dog here” one of them said. They sounded a little old to be our normal trick or treaters. I turned my head to face them but I couldn’t tell who they were behind the dark robes and mask.

“Will you bark, doggy?”

“RUFF!!” I barked in response.

“I bet you like it rough.” The guy in the mask made a joke about how my bark sounded and then said “Pre-zent, puppy.” In a slow, sinister way.

I looked up at my brother and then back at the three Scream masked trick or treaters standing over me. I reached behind my back and pulled my g-string to the side to remove the plug once again and turned around to hold it up to them. I didn’t want to see the expression on my brothers face, I knew it was somewhere between ‘Jackpot!’ and ‘Hell yeah!’ with a little ‘What the fuck?’ thrown in for good measure.

“You can remove the tail. Just show us your plug.” I knew these were probably football players who knew exactly what they were asking. I pulled the tail out of the plug and held it in my hand as I showed them the cock shaped butt plug.

“Very nice, clean it and return it to its home.”

I looked down and then popped the plug in my mouth. It tasted more like rubber and cream than it did my own peanut butter but that didn’t stop them from laughing that I had just licked something that had been up my ass and put it back in.

The next guy in a scream mask squatted down and got in my face, “Pre-zent again”. He wanted me to repeat the exercise for him that I had just done with the assumption it would satisfy all three of them. “You seem a little reluctant.”

I didn’t answer except to pull my thong to the side and squat while pushing the plug right back out to show him. I felt almost defiant as I held it out for him to see. It was one of those rare harvest moons where the moon just happens to be about as big as it ever will be in the night sky and in the light you could see the shape of it perfectly. I know they were getting the better of me and I was submitting to their wishes but I felt as long as I could comply and not turn into a muttering jellyfish I was somehow winning – they hadn’t broken me.

“Put it in your mouth and clean it slowly, don’t put it in its home until I am positive it is clean.” That was definitely Dave Stravosky talking. I put it in my mouth just like he said and looked up at him, never breaking eye contact with the man in the mask.

The kitchen door opened behind me, it was my mom and dad. I didn’t dare turn around. I knew there was no way I could explain squatting in front of three boys with that plug in my mouth and I was ready to just get whatever punishment or therapy or probably even reform school for what I had done tonight.

I couldn’t look at my parents to even acknowledge how completely red-handed they had just caught me.

“Hello Mr. and Mrs. Miller” the trick or treaters sounded polite. They were obviously going to extricate themselves from the situation and leave while they could, now that my parents showed up. I didn’t blame them.

“Hello boys” My father sounded amiable as he stood behind me. I knew my mom was probably steaming and I contemplated just sprinting naked down the drive way and never looking back for a brief moment.

Then I heard “Pre-zent” from one of the scream masked boys and I was about to tell them absolutely no more in front of my parents when I heard my mom say “If you insist”

I looked over my shoulder just in time to see my mom in a parody of a Cherry Lawn Cheer Leaders uniform about two sizes too small reaching behind her to pull out a thick rubber butt plug about four inches long.

My father had on his gimp mask with leather chaps and chest straps and reached behind himself and pulled out one six inches long and wider than both of ours combined.

.

“You may clean them and return them to their homes.”

“Thank you Dave, helluva game last week!”

“Thank you Mister Miller” he answered enthusiastically.

“Noah with you?” I was watching over my shoulder as my mom licked her buttplug thoroughly and returned it under her skirt and my father did the same with his leather flap.

“Yeah” Noah stepped forward and my dad tossed me the baby binky. “I believe my daughter drew something of yours today.”

“Oh?”

“I found this and I believe it belongs to you, Sir. I took the liberty of cleaning it for you. I hope you don’t lose it again.” I said just as I had been instructed as I held it up to him. He took it out of my hand and even though I couldn’t see his face I wondered if he was smiling and I also wondered if Dave Stravosky was just a little jealous.

“The spirits chose me to be your spirit girl.” It suddenly dawned on me why they always talked about ‘school spirit’ and that it had some double meaning to this twisted little initiation rite.

The guys walked back down the drive way to spook some other house and probably make some other girl present. I looked up at my parents. My mom had a self-satisfied grin on her face. She had been in on the charade the entire time.

“Girl, I was HEAD Cheerleader at Cherry Lawn when I had you. You don’t think I am S-Club? You are a legacy. You play your cards right and you’ll be running it by the time you are a senior, but you are too tight butthole.”

“Definitely too tight butthole.” My dad patted my head and after that we had a really long talk that also included my pervy little brother who would be initiated at next year’s halloweiner if he could get enough meat on his bones to make the football team.

That night they egged our house three more times, knocked over our mail box, left two more bags of flaming poop on our doorstep and toilet papered our entire front lawn. Every time one of us ran outside almost completely naked and pretended to freak out about it.

We also presented to five more people before the night was done and I am proud to say that at the very end, my mom kissed me on the forehead and said, “You can be loose butthole when you need to be, Good night Trojan slut.”

“Happy Halloweiner, Mom” I couldn’t believe I was saying that, and that they answered me back the same way.